#i can’t sleep now lmao

[luna-lovegreat]

Ok, so I know the update came out literal seconds ago so it’s probably a liiiittle weird to already post about it but hear me out

I already know my favourite panel in this update because look

Hyrule’s like the little guy wants to talk to you! Which is great but I look at wild and he just looks so scared

I’m just imagining he’s thinking “but I’m terrified of the little guy now”

#bro looks so scared of that conversation #could I have like I dunno four people to back me up to talk to him #no reason tho #I’m scared of him now #lmao I just think it’s a funny thought #his eyes man four scared the shit out of him #lmao #loz #linkeduniverse #linked universe #Lu #Lu wild #Lu four #pfft #I just can’t stop laughing looking at this panel #I need sleep #my fault for having like five different notifications set up to tell me when it updates lol

[spotty-is-slumberous]

First day back!

Have my redesigned fursona!! Lookin’ as spotty and suave as ever

#I’ve been in a severe depressive slump here recently — one of the absolute worst of my life #so I can’t promise any sort of consistency in art or uploads ^^ #but hey #if you’re here then y’all know that by now lmao #spotty speaks #my art #fursona #jaguar #jaguar oc #jaguar fursona #lion #lion oc #lion fursona #furry #furry art #furry oc #ALSO since it’s confusing shhdbfnf- #the thing over his eyes is a sleep mask! he’s just lifting one end of it to expose one eye ^^

[verlaines-corner-archive]

“I love you.”

Stray moonlight streams in through an open window, your words settling in the air as the man beneath you - Kolya - stills. Everything pauses and then you hear his heartbeat falter, a slight skip before growing in intensity. It thumps against his chest, and subsequently your ear, as you both lay there.

Silent, until Kolya begins to laugh.

It starts out small, before it bubbles and spills over his lips in a way that could almost be called malicious. His chest shakes and heaves, his fingers flexing at your side; one second barely touching and the other threatening to break your skin. You don’t move, arms and body tensing as you lay there paralysed, like prey caught in the jaw of its predator. You suppose you are his prey, something that had been known to you since the start and yet it’s only now - at this very moment - that it clicks. Dread curls in your stomach, tugging at your intestines until you feel like you’re going to vomit, static clouding your mind.

And then you realise that it’s gone silent once more, and the dread churns as you feel slender fingers trail along your throat. Sluggish in pace, accompanied by the drag of nails along your trachea and you’re wishing he would put you out of your misery instead of toying with you. His hand, heavier than he intends it to be, rests on your throat, thumb moving under your chin and pushing.

Your head moves up and your thoughts scatter, mind turning blank as his eyes meet yours. Something about them disturbs you more than any crazed laughter ever could, a stark golden laced with such despair and joy that you can feel it drip from his eyes to yours. Kolya looks like a child about to cry, and yet he wears the same cheshire cat grin he always does. All teeth and flesh, teetering between fake and genuine.

His voice is off as he speaks, but you can’t place why.

“Are you scared darling? There’s no need! I’m not going to hurt you. No no, you don’t need to worry about that.”

He moves, body heavy as it contorts over you, pressing your own into the mattress. You’re caged in his arms, with tendrils of hair extending towards you until they block your view of the outside world. Just him and you and this space that’s closing between you both, his face moving closer and closer until his hot breath burns your mouth. His voice carries a poisonous tenderness to it.

“I’m going to free you instead.”

#✧ library shelves ✧ #here - take this Kolya draft I wrote months ago #I can’t figure out how to end it smoothly for the life of me #so excuse the quality #I’m going to try and sleep now - it’s six am and my brain is buzzing LMAO #bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai gogol #mykola gogol x reader #mykola gogol

[the-raging-tempest]

I am thinking of her (Lariel) she so tiny…

#oc: lariel #my hamster wheel #I feel like shit and I can’t tell if I’m sick or it’s something else #woke up with bruises I don’t remember getting #I really really really need to resent my sleep schedule #because my meals are also fucked with this medication I’ve barely eaten the past few days #may just be unconcious for a few days LMAO #will feel better imagining Lariel getting treated nice #💕 #she is so…. pick upable #I feel like I need to draw that but also I need to chill #LMAO #but imagine… large man pick her up… #now you understand #😌 #*reset

[ghost-proofbaby]

i’m sorry but can we talk about how fucking devastating it is to hear it repeatedly said in the game how godey and cazador found astarion’s screams to be the “sweetest”?

the way he was the one who always screamed the loudest. when he was being tortured for days in the kennel by godey. when cazador was carving the runes into his back. centuries, and no one ever helped him or saved him. for centuries, he was screaming and begging for mercy, and it only egged his abuser on more.

no wonder he disapproves more when you repeatedly help and save people. repeatedly, he has to watch you save all these people, knowing no one ever saved him.

yes, i’m actively sobbing over a video game character. i want something more painful than just death for cazador.

#he never deserved any of it #when godey said that to astarion my jaw dropped #i can’t go into the fight with cazador right now that just #that fucked me up #when romancing him i should have the option to also hug him and not just kiss him #because what the fuck #i want to burn entire cities down for him #where’s the option to just burn the palace to the ground #where’s the option to put cazador in a tomb for a year to starve and be consumed by the darkness #and i thought i wanted that fucking drow dead for suggesting i owned him lmao #i’d genuinely die for him #listening to missing limbs by sleep token and yeah that’s me for astarion #’cause it still makes my blood run thin to remember what you are to him’ #he deserves a soft ending. to know how loved he is. to be fucking SAFE #even more devastating than when i found out he dies if you don’t keep him in your party/camp #if astarion doesn’t end up with you #he ends up with cazador #i just #fuck this game

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[intriga-hounds]

Why did Bazzy stop being your sisters dog?

bc when i went to boofest he made it very clear that he’s still my dog. when i got back i asked him to come sleep with us for a few nights to see what he’d do and he very much wants to be with me.

#baz #3 years #ask #my sister and renly have a very tight bond but baz is still more bonded to me and sivi #he’s still being coparented lmao but he sleeps in my room now #he’s just a very sensitive boy and i don’t think he trusts anyone as much as he trusts me #having ponzu has actually made me love him more and more #i have a dog that runs and shows and will probably be bred #so there’s a lot of room in my heart for my Broken Dog who two years ago i was feeling very resentful toward #I’ve realized over the past year that i can’t live without him

[animalsandskyyy]

ummm okay so people at work were talking about pride month again

and someone said “everyone here is gay, only *name*, *name*, and grace aren’t” and i’ll tell you- the face I made (that I think only one person saw) was probably so incredibly telling lmao but idc because wtfff and yeah :/

#aroace #grace is dramatic #I have never ever said i’m straight or talked about dating there aaahhh whyyyy it’s painful :/ #also realized this is the 5th year?!? i’ve (privately lol) celebrated pride month?? #also does anyone remember when hayley kiyoko deemed 2018 '20gayteen*?? #that was a wonderful time to be alive lmao I miss that #AAHH STORYTIME THAT HAPPENED IN THAT SAME CONVO- #also a manger took a picture of a product to send to a chef #*manager #but it was a live photo…. #and it caught someone saying something I can’t totally remember like ‘something something and the queers are here!’ #and they realized AFTER they sent it to the boss and everyone was DYING LAUGHING #some people were actually kneeling down on the floor laughing #also the chef it was sent to us also gay lmao so it’s fine no matter what but it was so funny bc the audio was so clear and loud and obvious #anyways #I had to get this out of my brain before I slept #and now I must sleep #go to sleep grace

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[dovalore]

say goodnight

#ffxiv #ffxiv pandaemonium #ffxiv patch 6.2 #hephaistos #hi tumblr friends i literally just wanted to draw toe beans and went overboard #angy even when he’s eeping #i kinda want to draw the other characters from pandae cute and squishy as well #i will see you in like… 2 months for my next properly rendered piece LMAO #take my word with a grain of salt #i’m going to talk about pandaemonium abyssos spoilers now #firstly idk if hephaistos actually has beans on his model #but i see others give him beans so it’s canon enough for me #lahabrea’s plot relevant soul sextape is a sentence that makes sense now and idk how to feel about that #anyway back to hephaistos #i’m glad i can’t really stop and look at details while in battle because HE’S SO FUCKING FLESHY AND NASTY #THAT’S NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT HIS TRANSFORMATION #i’m choosing not to see any of it #idk if the placement of his back wings was reversed i’m not looking at him to check #actual sleep paralysis demon #scream goes hard as fuck i’m listening to it as i type this #there’s a scream/evanescence mashup please listen to it #if 7.0 causes a resurgence in emos i’d be unsurprised #i mean we already got reaper in edw so there’s that #i welcome the emo tide that may or may not come with further story updates #be free my friends revel in what may be considered cringey #i’m going to bed now goodnight

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

I love deviser so much btw <33

#camera talks #I’m supposed to be sleeping and also I’m tired out of my mind so if this makes so sense whatever #*no sense #but anyways. deviser <33 #it’s so good like genuinely. my ideal short horror podcast? I will relisten to it all the time ngl #and yeah. half of it is son screaming. so what it’s a harlan podcast what did you expect /hj #ugh but son and dads relationship </33 #and just All of episode seven my goodness #hmmm. I love it a lot I really can’t explain it lmao #okay I do Really need to get to bed now #I have work in the morning and I still didn’t really do much hw today </33

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN #personal #im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so #im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so. #the energy’s doing Great #and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing #genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed???????? #i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then #im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms #usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way #but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with #so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare? #still more sick than i’ve been in……..years? #im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week #this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer #hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!! #and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like— #starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis #im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune #i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months #idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)

[powpowchaos]

This. This is how I feel right now.

#powpowchaos txt #Making mental notes on what fanfics I’m going to draw for LMAO #I got woken up for Christmas hugs and kisses and now I can’t sleep but… #now I’m going bonkers over fics AH HAHA happy holidays friends

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

so i had a couple ocs as a kid (made for a story that i never wrote a lot for) and i haven’t drawn any of them since i was like. 14. so it’s been a hot minute but anyway i realized the other day that out of the 5 main cast i have gotten 3 of their haircuts. i remember vaguely thinking that one character always seemed to have the haircut i wanted and i had that haircut for years but recently i got rid of that haircut and had another one’s haircut then i changed it a bit and dyed it and now i have another one’s. so i’m like man 12 year old me had great taste in haircuts. i should go down the list and do them all

#sometimes i think i should redraw the characters but then i’d want to redevelop their story bc it’s not to my taste atm and that’s a #lot of effort but i might do it anyway who knows #but i’d have to open my box that deals psychic damage (the sketchbooks in there are so soaked with alcohol that opening the box #makes me nauseous lmao) for refs. hmmmm. i dunno #the characters don’t really speak to me anymore their whole dynamics and designs aren’t to my taste i’d have to *really* re-do #everything but hm. maybe #though perhaps i should just start from scratch. i wouldn’t mind having ocs again. idk #also on unrelated news i have purchases 4lbs of baking soda to mix with my acrylic paints i want to see what kinda texture i can #get out of it because i! am! in! the! mood! to! paint! #but unforch i have to sleep? taking away my valuable painting time? ridiculous but i think i’m going to legit pass out at some point #i’ve been getting real tired of sleeping #well. i love sleeping but i feel like it’s wasting all my time because i always seem to sleep 10-16 hours a night which is ridiculous #that’s so much time i’m wasting i have shit to do man so i’ve been staying up 24-34ish hours once every week or so to make up for lost #time but still i feel like i am making this all worse because now i can’t even fall asleep + it’s been messing w my mood but i don’t #know how to fix it #anyway that was way off topic goodnight i think i’m going to bed now bye

[crowcryptid]

I should be working on the cunty gabe model (aka 3d model that I can put silly outfits on) but sitting down right now can only be described as having a tight rubber band tied where your leg connects to your body

That going numb, but never 100% numb, burning feeling. It’s so fun.

#and I spend all day at work sitting. it’s very comfortable. #standing is fine. laying down is fine. #it’s just sitting. #eep. #I probably could have been done with it by now #if I could just sit down #lol. lmao. #😎 me when I can’t take time off work 😎 #ok im going to sleep now

[devilsskettle]

not to be dramatic because my life isn’t particularly bad but at the current moment it’s just straight up depressing. trying to find things to feel positive about but there’s very little besides the fact that this is hopefully a transitional time in my life that is very temporary

#i just kind of hate everything and everyone right now and i feel very isolated and tired #and gross. i am not doing a very good job of taking care of myself #i can’t even be mildly delusional about it for the sake of my mental well-being anymore lmao things are bleak #i’m also on my period though so we have to factor that in. i will probably feel a lot better in like 2 or 3 days #and very sleep deprived and i just ran out of cigarettes so