#i can not explain it anymore better

[sergle]

has the huggable twee irritation always been a Thing or did it evolve in response to like, "you're not ugly. i'd fuck you" type comments? like in your personal experience

god, I'm not well spoken enough to describe it exactly the way it Registers In My Brain... but like. It's not the "you're not ugly, I'd fuck you" genre, and that type of comment is so easy to immediately dismiss because it always comes from a certain type of man, and it's like yeah yeah, I could throw a sandwich and you'd fuck it before it hit the floor. But also, that one's so specific, it's a bottom-of-the-barrel "compliment" that dudes will give when a woman has actively said something about feeling like she's unattractive.

The HUGGABLE THING. The oooh squishy marshmallow somft huggable mom shaped 🥺🥰 She looks like she gives GREAT HUGS. Those comments are UNPROMPTED. I'm immediately like. Every keyword you say, I kill another hostage. I will blow up this whole building and everyone in it. Because it is SO FUCKING WEIRD. And I have heard it one million times. And I see it on every drawing of a character who's even remotely plus sized. These comments would not fly for a thinner person, they'd be rightfully received as weird. People aren't gonna comment on a picture of Ariana Grande going omg she's sooo huggable mom friend shaped. WHAT. Simultaneously are desexualized and sanitized to a weird degree in that uwu language way, WHILE also being creepy. Like, why are you describing what you think I'd feel like if you hugged me? Like the only positive thing you can think of to say is that I look like I have some give. As strangers. I'm not going to hug you, I think you're a creep and I think you're giving yourself a big pat on the back for complimenting a fat person. What are we doing I'm arguing at the air. Where am I And you're just supposed to go oh thank you that's so nice, because as a fat person, you gotta take whatever compliment you get, even if it is actually not a compliment. And that's the thing, there are SO MANY ACTUAL COMPLIMENTS TO PICK FROM. But people settle on huggable and somft. Was this person pretty? Were they hot? You could say gorgeous? Handsome, beautiful? Elegant? Stunning? Sharp? Sexy? Stylish? Are you trying to say that you're attracted to this person's body? Are we being horny? Do you think they just look nice in general? Can't we think of anything else to say? Or are we just gonna sit here and say they fuckin look like Santa Claus. Huggable like a pillow. Girl what the fuck

#every time I see or hear it my eyes roll so far back in my head that I can look at my thoughts #I accepted about a thousand of these compliments as haha thank you before I gave up on pretending I think it's a compliment at all #people say this shit ALL THE TIME and I KNOWWWWWWWWWW I'm not the only bitch who hates it. #I hear this from others too. I'm not completely insane right here #or maybe I am. FUCK AUGH #can someone explain it BETTER AND LESS LENGTHY #sergle answers #People don't say any of the outdated plus sized compliments anymore either. you only hear them from old men #Like I would rather be called full figured or curvaceous or a whole lotta woman before I get called MOM FRIEND SHAPED??????????????? #what's that post.I'm going to kill myself in front of you and forever change the trajectory of your life #It would be different to be described as soft by like a partner. combined with compliment-compliments. like yeah you OBVIOUSLY know #what I feel like

[kicktwine]

little weirdo beast mode

#ch’ari (oc) #ffxiv #my art #zenos yae galvus #im having illustration ideas again. You know like some kind of artist? #I’m not entirely happy w it but I’m not able 2 work on it anymore… it looks better small I think #WOOH ok looking like sitting down and taking rest days and taking extra special care of my hand Works tho. Which is GOOD #stormblood #did I - not to wimpily explain my symbolism but wolf zenos hare wol #PLEASE say ‘gains’ in your head with the most gravelly serious Zenos voice. Like Egg. #the second image is referenced from a bnha manga cover! And the therapist joke is… somewhere? I tried to find the post again but can only #find a tweet that is not as popular as I swear the post was

[ctl-yuejie]

a taste

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #mark pakin #papang phromphiriya #i am obsessed with how good papang is #trust me to read too much into it but to me he clearly has an idea who 30 sth year old Dan is #seemingly out of the dating scene since at least his graduation so doesn't know the current lingo #feeling a bit too old but also unsure how he likes being called old but hot #very charmed by this junior but not used anymore to getting butterflies in a club #lowkey knows that the boss thing might be a bit hmm... #(listen: i love that again the show doesn't give us a clear line of 'dan is a creep' because there is a lot of room for him to essentially #be a good option for nick as well as the possibility of accidentally acting unethical) especially within the community it is worth to #observe whether the power imbalance on its own speaks against the person #he's also a bit shy wondering whether this cute guy would actually be interested in him because he is sweet and obviously aquainted with #going to bars so surely he must have options #and mark is also so wonderful ;A; even before he spots boston you can see that there is still some heartbreak lingering #but also that he liked the kiss but it was a very different feel to boston #also: somehow papang in mlc and papang here kisses absolutely differently and it makes so much sense to me that he at this point in his #life would kiss like this?? idk how to explain it better #this show continues to bring out the best acting out of everyone #(to derail: maybe why i want the writing for top to be that he's still in the grey so badly because i think that is the kind of difficult #acting force is actually mastering in this series)

[madame-mongoose]

I wish mental health services were more easily accessible and certain mental illnesses weren't still demonized in the field

#still pursuing a bpd diagnosis #but a lot of the specialists im seeing online are all like #have you been victimized abused or manipulated by someone with bpd? #and im like :( #ough im not ready to have ANOTHER heavily stigmatized mental illness #but despite that i still do hope i get diagnosed #i think it would explain a lot #and really help me work through my issues #before it gets to that tipping point #it already has come close multiple times just this year alone #i just... idk #i want to be better i want to get better #i dont want to hurt people anymore. i dont want to hurt myself anymore #it sucjs it really does #sorry for vent posting again #i just dont have anywhere else to go #and i dont feel comfortable talking to people about this stuff usually #everyone tells me i can talk to them but.. idk. its hard to do that. so many things can go wrong. i dont like talking about myself #i like for people to have a certain image of me. prefer people not to worry themselves over me #it brings bad feelings and associations sometimes #which if i have bpd can be thhe cause of that i suppose. just makes me feel insecure? ig? guilty? makes me feel like a bad person #when people try to get me to take care of myself. even if its a good thing #idk im just rambling #nobody take this in a bad way or feel discouraged in fact dont pay any mind to this #im just spitballing #will probably delete later #monnie rambles

[magentagalaxies]

.

#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit #like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to #and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much #i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event #(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!) #and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student #like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to #and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid #like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either #i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation #like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time #but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence #and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing #(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student) #and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event #so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!'' #i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything #the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like #''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time'' #and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!! #but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too. #i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point) #and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc #bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering) #2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person #but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks #i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be #because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!) #even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon

[redladydeath]

The Vees struggling to deal most with the days Vox is afraid is something so heartbreaking.

The Vox they knew was never afraid, at least not in such an obvious, vulnerable way, not the way a child hiding under the covers is afraid.

Valentino in particular struggles to deal with seeing him that way. It’d be so easy to snap his neck, go to his room, retrieve a gun, dig for one of the few angelic bullets he’d scrounged up and put an end to this whole pathetic charade.

He never does it though, instead he’ll continue playing out the ill-fitting role of a caretaker role for as long as it takes. As long as what takes? He doesn’t know.

All overlords build their empires by constantly projecting strength and invulnerability. Hell's already a place where you learn very quickly that you can't show weakness for even a second, lest someone take advantage of you, and overlords are the sinners who took that lesson most to heart. Val was already someone who couldn't stand being "weak" when he arrived; the idea of not exploiting weakness in others is so utterly foreign to him that he can't understand why he keeps choosing not to take advantage of Vox's vulnerability in some way.

Velvette's in a bizarre situation because she's so young by Hell's standards. She's fully committed to the idea that you've always got to be the toughest, most ruthless person in any room you enter– something she learned from Vox himself– but she's still got some niggling bits of humanity left in her that older sinners have long since left behind. She feels compassion for Vox, then gets angry at herself for being compassionate, then tries to rationalize why being kind to him is okay but she should still treat everyone else who's vulnerable like scum– and it just goes on like that.

How do you make sense of the urge to be kind when you've built your entire identity around being as cruel as possible in order to stay on top?

#i feel like i didn't explain velvette's side of things very well? #she thinks about vox's situation in human terms is what i mean #while val has been in hell 50 years and doesn't feel connected to humanity at all anymore #and velvette wishes desperately that she could hurry up and get to that point already too #but now they're in a situation where she *can't* distance herself in the way she usually does #meanwhile val is distanced by default and doesn't understand the times when he feels otherwise (like right now) #idk idk still not satisfied but yeah #i sound like a velvette apologist even though i'm really trying not to be #might come back to this later when i can describe my thoughts a little better #randomly accessed memories (RAM) #redlady speaks

[byanyan]

I've talked a fair amount about how byan has been bullied and hurt by teachers in the past (& how they'd hit their limit and seek drastic revenge, in some cases), but I've never really talked much about how byan has also bullied and outright tormented teachers for themself... like yeah, it's definitely because they don't trust teachers or authority figures in general due to their past experiences, but that doesn't mean that their 9th grade math teacher deserved to feel afraid for his own safety or that their 10th grade biology teacher should have been so stressed that she retired early. byan has been done dirty by a lot of people in their life but they've also been a genuine menace to others who gave them no real reason to be, and they have taken enjoyment in it in a lot of cases.

#byan has a complicated & difficult relationship with teachers & school staff as a whole #and tends to view them as 'deserving' of whatever torment they choose to cause #bc even if this person hasn't done anything too bad against THEM... they probably have to someone else #very like. black and white thinking when it comes to authority figures as a whole bc of their history with some of them #they anticipate that anyone in that sort of position will abuse their power at some point or another ig? #and in a way... I think them being the bully is them showing that they aren't the prime target for that sort of thing anymore #subconsciously ofc. and obvs that doesn't make it right it's still super fucked up #but byan is Not well known for coping well with their trauma lbr #I'm losing my train if thought... everything is scattered & I'm sure this is disjointed to some level but #I hope the basic point/idea/whatever is coming through #byan is not always the victim... they cause a lot of actual problems... they can & have hurt people who didn't deserve it... that's the gist #I'll try to expand on this at a time where my brain is working better & I can explain a little better #just needed to get the thought out there lmaoahfksg #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[yutaleks]

Hi aleks, sometimes I feel like, no one wants to connect on this social media site? Idk. The like to rb ratio is depressing. I mean, I’m grateful that people are liking my posts. But like. I wanna hear what they think too, ya know?

not sure if you are a writer im guessing from the wording of this ask that you are. but I think it's a bit hard these days to get the level of interaction that you may be asking for

depending on what fandom youre in or what character youre posting about or what trope youre writing etc etc the size of the audience will change. like I already know in my mind if im writing something that is more geared towards stereotypical heteronormative relationships that will get much more interaction than something that is subversive. or if im writing a fic for a popular character that will get much more interactions than a not so popular one.

But at the same time, coming from someone who used to write for a very popular character, I have to say that the grass is not always greener? As in, I think there is a difference between quantity and quality of interactions. If im writing something that I know a core base of people who follow me will like, I know I will most likely get at least some sort of interaction from people who typically enjoy that content. I find that interaction to be more meaningful, especially if it's something I enjoy talking about. vs, if I write something with a bigger 'audience', perhaps there will be more reblogs but the back and forth interaction does not happen. that person will read the fic, reblog or leave a comment, and then be on their way. It does not create this relationship where you end up having a back and forth conversation or becoming mutuals or anything like that (at least, in my experience).

Like if I post a fic that EYE enjoy, and I get ten comments from lovely people, that means more to me than a hundred interactions on a fic I didn't put my whole dick into. ya know?

idk where im going with this. I guess I wanna say if you are passionate about something, and you receive even a few bits of feedback, that will feel so much more rewarding than trying to 'chase' the feedback by writing things you think others will enjoy. and I think too that people will be able to tell when you are writing something that you feel passionate about.

im of the opinion that you can't force people to reblog and interact with your work. ive seen every excuse under the sun for why people wont reblog. but I think if someone feels as passionate about something as you do, they will overcome whatever shyness they feel to come tell you that they appreciate what you are doing

#idk if what I said makes any sense but #I think coming into Tumblr as a writer its okay to want a better rb to like ratio but don't feel discouraged #there is a lot stacked against you right now #no one that I know uses the tags anymore cause they are full of spam #so sometimes the fics that appear on the dashboard are just mutuals reblogging each other. and as a newbie those circles are hard to get in #so someone with no writer mutuals and no following... their posts wont be seen by anyone with significant pull/reach #I would say that I think 'bigger' writers on here should at least try every once and a while to peek into the tags and boost writers #that are new / starting out and making genuine efforts to write #I wont explain but I think when you've been on here long enough you can tell who is posting in the tags for 'Tumblr clout' and who I postin #fic bc they genuinely are passionate about it #but I know most writers on here only read whatever they see on their dash #if people actually stopped spamming the tags with nonsense and the tags were more useable I think we would all use them more... ironic #anyway. I personally always try to reblog fics with comments and check the tags every once and a while for fics to read #I think that is best practice for writers but I know not everyone does that... #in the same vein #i think if you put effort into being a good reader consistently. writers with larger followings will notice / want to be mutuals and help #boost your writing to the dashboard #writing fic is a community that takes genuine effort to grow #TLDR: be a good reader and reblog fics and interact with writers. write things that come from your heart. interactions will follow with tim #*time #long post #ϟ asking aleksandria

[imwritesometimes]

new washer supposed to be delivered wednesday but there's a huge fuck storm rolling into my area like that day pls I need all the good vibes/energy/whatever anyone can spare that I actually have a working washer on wednesday....

#godddddd I hate lugging laundry over to my mom's to do it #it's far better than having to take it to a pay laundromat so I'm VERY lucky I can #I get that #but I just hate this shit. I hate that the washer broke down all the time and there were so many problems with it #and that I had to buy a new one not even like.... 10 years after I had to buy the other one #fucking hate hate hate hate appliances not lasting 40+ years anymore #erin explains it all

[lyxchen]

That moment when you turn on your phone but then your OCD tells you that you need to press the on button again but this time with the other hand so that it's "even" and so you do that but that turns your phone off again and then you press the button a third time to turn it on again but now it's uneven again and so you press the button again but with your other hand but now your phone is off again and so you press the button again and it just turn into an endless cycle of why the fuck is that even a compulsion why do I feel the constant need to do things I did with my right hand also with my left hand why can't I just use my phone like a normal fucking person?????

#i can deal with my intrusive thoughts pretty well now and i also have almost no compulsions anymore #but #this fucking thing of having stuff feel 'even' #i #aaaaaaghhhhh #i have it with Everything!!!! #pressing buttons #light switch too #i now have to close my door twice so i can do it with one hand and then the other hand #double click of any kind sucks too #like when i watch a video i either have to go back 20 seconds instead of just ten #or just go back 10 seconds and then go forward those 10 seconds again which is completely useless #i started doing a double click where i use my finger from the one hand for the first click and my finger from the other hand for the second #click #and i have to tap the same space on my screen #but it's just so annoying #i even have this even thing when walking #i can't really explain it but #just walking!!!! #do you know how much that sucks??? #hhhhhhh #i just hope it somehow gets better #lea's random thoughts #ocd #oh what a fun disorder to have.....NOT

[milkweedman]

I know you've talked about your frustration with how difficult it is to make money with fiber art, but would you ever consider selling or trading for the dyed fleece you have? Not like opening an etsy shop and dying fleece just for selling or anything. But like, say I wanted to buy some hand veg dyed wool...you could destash some of what you have....then you could use that money to dye more wool.....infinite wool hack.

I trade my stuff all the time (and am always down to trade hand made and hand processed stuff for other handmade/hand processed !). I dunno if selling dyed fleece would actually be an infinite wool hack though; I haven't really done the math but like, if I buy 2 pounds of raw fleece for $25 (definitely a price I've paid before, idk if its standard for me off the top of my head), once I wash it I likely have anywhere between a pound and a pound a half (depending on breed and how dirty it was, the lanolin and dirt that I wash away can be up to 70% of the weight of a raw fleece, but usually closer to 50% in the breeds I like working with). So I'd have to sell a single pound of washed dyed fleece for like $35 ($10 shipping for 1 pound package is what I just paid at the post office a few days ago) just to get the money back from what i paid for the fleece in the first place--basically paying in labor and foraged materials (so more labor) for the joy of getting to dye wool for strangers. Idk about that. I'd definitely do it if it looked like I could get at least double the cost of the wool for it--Maybe people would pay a lot more, but I'd be a little surprised if that were true, honestly. It's a very nice idea and i wish the world worked that way :(

#as it is i just trade/gift away most of my wool #wool processing #no-pants-dan #adding price tags to my stuff tends to just make me feel like shit #because 1) it never ever moves the meter on how much money i need to survive each month #2) theres not a single thing i can do that doesnt cost in pain. not just time but pain and frequently the clear and measurable #degradation of my body per project #my body will degrade anyway becauae i have no choice but to find some kind of work #but at least the other work pays better and usually degrades my body slower #i feel deeply uncomfortable selling my art that for example is the piece that made me stop being able to knead dough by hand #id kinda rather keep it bc if i cant knead dough by hand anymore at least i can look at the physical manifestation #of what caused me to not be able to do that anymore #idk if that makes any sense #i suspect not bc ive been trying to explain this to my family for literally years #and they do not get it at all #i finally got them to shut up about it only by telling them i will no longer talk about it and if they ask i will leave the room #yay for boundaries. now i just need to get over how angry even being asked that question now makes me. lol

[astrxealis]

me rn having the biggest hots for leon kennedy and astarion sorry LMFAOOO <3

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #^___^ me smiling innocently #bg3 is on the MIND !!! i dearly want it so badly. turns out my dad played 1/2 (not sure which) a looong time ago #but he never got too far i think bcs he's busy... :P but hey i love him. wow. it's really cool he knows it too (ofc he does lmfao) #me and him (handshake emoji) also never getting far in da origins yet bcs we have it on xbox bcs of him getting it a long time ago #but there's that bug in the mage tower... :( funny we both went thru it LMFAO <//3 anyway i got it on steam so i've been playing #again but not recently anymore since 1. ffxiv took over my life last days of summer again 2. summer is over back school so rip #anyway can u tell i love fantasy :)) da and bg babeyyy !!! my type is going to make you guys cry i'm so obvious #zevran... fenris... astarion... i have a thing for ppl w blond/white hair :P idk my fav in inquisition yet and idk anything abt bg1&2 yet #but Yeah. GHBSHJGBSHJG..... da origins is kinda funny (lack of better word) to me btw bcs i like all four main romance options #but it's hard to explain (i have a story behind stuff i want to share but it's tiring and annoying of me /hj !!!!!) #anyway i like blond elves if it wasn't obvious. yes i also like link and zelda from loz. yes i like legolas. yes i like #...anyway! so where does re fit in this? uh. u see i'm a coward actually i'm too scared to play re LMFAOOO #BTU I ADORE THE LORE and the characters and the game franchise and shit ^_^ just. i shld really watch it sometime #instead of reading wikis all the time and just soaking up all the knowledge but i'm. a Coward. okay #i can't even play bloodborne despite how nerdy i am over it... it's so scary to poor little me... i'm a coward (it's the harsh truth)..... #anwyay i'll conquer my fears one day but that day is NOT SOON !!! i wna get into re properly tho aside from just being a nerd #so i'm too scared to play but i'll watch playthroughs sometime (and admire leon) <3 yeah. another blond. i know. shut up. #is this my life rn am i just infatuated w blonds and white haired guys. it's gna be hell if i continue nier replicant rn too huh #uh. goodnight!

[judgeverse]

find me in the trenches of the r/stargate comment section fighting for rush’s honor

#i never use reddit anymore but a stargate bestie does and sends me rush-related posts #i feel an obligation to explain him and where he's coming from because it usually helps people understand him a lot better #like if i can just get it through to a handful of people that he's driven by The Hyperfocus and not like self-obsessed narcissism #then ive done my job #we've all either known a rush or been a rush and i'm the latter #sg talk

[bl00dw1tch]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am

#horse.txt #vent // #sort of. too high to be sad abt it im in anthropology mode and listening to music that makes me feel sexy so its fine yk #anyway i typed a whole bunch of other tags talking abt how and why i feel this way by going through a few of the events i can remember #from my childhood that Might explain why im so emotionally guarded and struggle to open up anymore. #bc i Wanted to say they all felt dumb and juvenile esp since ive actually like #made peace with most of the ppl who were involved with them #but the Anthropology mode was just tearing it all down as i typed it bc that Is just a ridiculous way to look at it no matter how you cut it #doesn't matter that nobody involved really Meant to deal that kind of harm and i dont need to hate or blame anyone in order to acknowledge #that it still just Happened. like thats a Memory already babe no do overs. #which is kind of just accidental therapy so sick. love that fir me genuinely! #but also yes theres the bitch part of me that still wants to discredit it bc acknowledging that it happened =/= Fixing My Issues #so im still at square one technically. ive just been pacing in circles on it for a while ig #EVEN WORSE that the Scale of my issues is so incredibly mundane compared to so many of the people i seem to meet. #sitting in bed crying abt not having friends for a few days in elementary school when other ppl have jojos bizarre adventure levels of Lore #i know im not technically invalid for feeling the way i do or anything but god. if it doesn't feel fucking Embarrassing to open up about😭 #its impossible NOT to feel stupid and sensitive for having these first world ass problems. And letting them hold me back #bc ppl not liking me for any reason makes me sooooooooo fucking scared So fucking scared its not even funny 😝 #at least. ppl in my Circles. im pretty ok about being assertive with randos #still some work to be done on it but its better than whatevers going on with my personal relationships rn #sincerely to my mutuals and loved ones who see this i swear to GOD i love you so so so fucking much and im so. im trying to figure out this #the stuff thats got me so distant and bad at keeping in touch. its a whole slew of feelings about how i see Myself--not yall #i double pinky promise cross my heart im extremely serious #thank you for being patient with me you mean more to me than im capable of putting into words right now #alright theres a shot of tears in the hollow of my collar bone time to wrap up this post #daily reminder that i love body hair. there's some honesty. #😎😎😎💪💪💪 #the Quaritch under the cut is just to make me feel better bc i love him and i think hes so pretty. hes like a security blanket

[puphoods]

i have and will always try my best to help people understand my identity if theyre confused and want to know for whatever reason if im being asked in good faith i know a lot of people dont like being asked those things which is completely fair and understandable but ive had so many people come to me for advice or help or to try and understand my gender or my sexuality or anything and in an effort to better understand themselves or figure out who they are or so they can understand other people better and i would never want to deny someone the opportunity to talk to someone that they feel could help them understand something better

#et cetera #even if its none of that! even if they just saw me and were like well whats going on over here. because now u can understand #a little better the perspective of someone whos gender or w/e u didnt really get #i dont get it as much anymore but i used to... most often from people who were not asking in good faith #but i still try to explain a bit when that happened... #maybe i just like talking about myself this is true. but the people whove told me i helped them understand themselves #will be in my mind and my heart forever

[doodlebloo]

Do you guys ever think about how (as far as we know) c!Tubbo arguably made the right choice by deciding to never open up to c!Ranboo... Because c!Ranboo (when Enderwalking) retains all his memories and works alongside c!Dream anyway. So although c!Tubbo doesn't know it, his paranoia is actually keeping him safe, because the less info c!Ranboo knows the less he has the ability to tell c!Dream... Not that c!Ranboo necessarily would, but it sucks that like... c!Tubbo probably beats himself up for not wanting to share anything with his sweet and loyal husband, not even knowing that sharing the wrong stray detail about c!Tommy could have caused something disastrous. Like c!Tubbo was right to be a closed book and that shit hurts to think about!!!

#i need Ranboo to explain cRanboo so bad. #one of the only things i care about anymore. pls just tell me why a version of cRanboo with all his memories WHICH BTW #HIS MEMORIES WOULD INCLUDE THE DISC FINALE. Why that version of cRanboo would willingly help cDream. #Even IF cDream went ''oh i wasnt really gonna kill Tubbo it was staged also its good that New Lmanberg was exploded by me'' #and even IF cRanboo wasnt told why the prison tnt needed to be set off & therefore didnt know hed be hurting cTommy #how could he work with someone who he knows has hurt cTubbo like that. If he genuinely cared. #and i think about that a LOT a lot bc like. We see all these glimpses of cRanboo just... not listening to what cTubbo is saying. #the warning about cWilbur in ho16 is a good example but also just about history and Lmanberg in general... cRanboo sort of gives off the #vibe that he thinks he knows better than cTubbo does. That he thinks he knows what cTubbo needs and what's best for him #but also that he like... idk i just have thought about it a lot and worryingly i think he could become similar to c!Technoblade eventually. #Not in the ''violence is the only universal language'' way but in the way of like ''as soon as someone doesnt agree w my ideals and feels #differently than I do they have lost my respect and protection until they Prove themself and Earn it back'' type deal. not NOW i dont think #cRanboo is like that NOW but... Everyone always says ''cRanboo grow a backbone'' but he DID... While enderwalking. #ew!Ranboo is him with a backbone and apparently the him with a backbone does not care if he hurts his loved ones. #like cRanboo is part of the problem of people brushing aside cTubbo's grief and pain like it doesnt matter. cRanboo helping cDream has the #same energy as cJack trying to kill cTommy. this sort of ''he'll get over it'' mentality about cTubbo that assumes that just because he HAS #in the past been able to ''bounce back'' from indescribable loss that means things dont bother him or he can do it easily #so like. i do believe cRanboo isnt unsalvageable. i think the parts of him WE see are very much just misguided and not intentionally #hurtful. but sometimes i think abt Ranboo saying he was gonna make it so no one could be an apologist for cRanboo and I think like #what Memory does ew!Ranboo regaun that suddenly makes it fine for him to hurt his loved ones? for ''Dream Is The Reason'' to completely #disappear for him? is cDream offering him something he cant refuse or god forbid does ew!Ranboo just AGREE with him? #that to me is like. Once i know that i can be at peace. thats like one of the only things I'll be genuinely upset if it isnt explained #bc when i tell you it has been haunting me for like a year. #ok sorry for the rant and sorry boobers if i messed up some lore details lol #doodle.txt