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#i can barely fucking see
des-idk · 7 days ago
dude yesterday there was this really pretty girl in the shops and i went up to her and said i thought she was really pretty and she said thank you and i just jsjsvshbewkbdjdbxs <333333
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Imagining Shane and Sebastian cuddling me/Zephyr when crying makes me :)
TW for venting + s//cidal and self h//rm thoughts if you look/accidentally click on the tags. Sorry about that.
#Zephyr.Rambles#Am i okay? absolutely fuckin not#it tears me up inside knowing i can't talk to my friends in private anymore bc kf this stupid ass hotel room#my Insomnia keeps getting worse and i keep waking up w splitting headaches#and ofc that makes my mental health flop but i cant say anything bc theres already so much tension here w my mom#and im fuckin terrified of her that i have to hide my crying sessions to whenever everyone is asleep#and that doesn't fuckin help bc I'm still holding everything in to the point where I'm back to thinking that maybe it would be good to die#but im trying to keep a promise i made. i promised I wouldn't off myself and i intend on keeping that#but then those Suicidal thoughts change and warp to me deciding i wont off myself until i see one of my absolute best friends/brother#that way he has a few memories of us together at least#but it so fucking hard to even get up in the morning. its so hard to not let myself try to bash my head in when i get thosefew minutes alone#im fuckin breaking and i don't know what to do anymore#i can't even find happiness in minecraft or stardew valley anymore#fuck even the DSMP barely brings happiness anymore#its more of an 'oh :)' now and i hate it#i have sk many self harm thoughts and. i don't know what to do#i want cut everything i dont like about myself off with a knife or scissors and become anothwr person#i want to leave this fucking world and go to another where i can be happy with myself and my friends#i want to be somewhere where i have more than 2 fucking people who care for me#and the fact that my parents might go through my phone tomorrow terrifies me#but hey. if they see this how about you just fuckin shoot me instead the next time you want to get mad at me.#itll hurt less. plus im sure its something y'all have wanted to do for ages now with how fucked up of a kid you got :)#to anyone else; im sorry if you saw this. ill be fine. probably. i just need time to collect myself and I'll be okay.#tw vent#tw self harm#tw Suicidal thoughts
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eremiie · 11 days ago
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naivesilver · 21 days ago
Technically @janiedean didn’t tag me but she said we ought to consider ourselves tagged if we wanted to do this and I felt my cavernous WIP folder calling to me so I thought it was only fair if I gave it a shot
Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how ridiculous or non-descriptive. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it, and then tag as many people as you have WIPs!
* deep breath * OKAY HERE WE GO be wary that some of these are three years old or more so they might be vaguely disastrous
Son of a preacher man
Ghost Queen
28th of August
And one/And two
Boh raga non so
Cosmic Baby
Espio POV
Fair enough
fair folk
Future Fic
Getting back in check
Leone Udonta
Little Arya
Night owls
Ready to run
Rookie Silver
self indulgent sonic
Soulmates - Part 1
Temp work
Un giorno a caso
Viking Omens
yeah make me feel again
And that’s it! I’m not tagging anyone because I’m not sure which one of my mutuals (beloved) has a WIP folder in the first place but in the spirit of my own fake tag, if you want to do this you should consider yourself tagged.
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coolfroggyfriend · 21 days ago
stars are not real what do you mEAN YOU SEE THE FUCKING MILKY WAY AT NIGHT
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pruemania · 22 days ago
the adam toledo case is so disheartening and disgusting and showcases the actual incompetence of the police force. it doesn’t matter if he had a gun or firearm at any point during the chase, what’s important is that he didn’t at the time of confrontation.
there was a solid 3 seconds between confrontation and shooting. 3 fucking seconds. his hands were empty.
adam, a 13 year old boy, posed absolutely no threat to an armed police officer. his hands were up. he showed he had nothing in his hands. and he was still shot.
this is no longer a call for defunding the police. the police needs to be broken down and built back up because they clearly don’t know how to handle situations in a calm way that ends without casualties.
and before anyone asks, “well if you’re in trouble, who are you going to call if we don’t have police? 🤬” i am more likely to be shot and injured by the police than i am to receive the help i need from them.
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dredshirtroberts · 28 days ago
i have a lot of hangups that surround my hair and how it looks. i kind of want to grow it out a bit again but at its current length i’ve gotten a lot of compliments from my family about how good it looks and i’m also afraid that growing it out will make me look less masculine and thus people will misgender me more than they already do but at the same time i desperately want to wear it in a ponytail again
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yeosanggf · a month ago
#I FORGOT I HAD A TUMBLR WHERE I CAN RANT ABOUT THINGS AND MAYBE SOMEONE WILL SEE AND GIVE ME MUCH NEEDED LOVE BUT MAYBE NOT#up to you :) pls i need love ahaha :) but it’s okay if not i’m not being needy not at all#dude#i hate it here#ya boy has anxiety depression and REALLY BAD adhd or add or smth i don’t remember which one bc this is a new development!#and it’s kiCKING. MY ASS.#i have NO memory (ranboo moment) and literally barely even know my name ::))))))) let alone do i remember all my missing assignments!!!#i have a D. in ENGLISH.#H O W#I HAVE GOTTEN ONLY As ON ASSIGNMENTS#THATS HOW MANY MISSING ASSINGMENTS I HAVE#this is SO unlike me i seriously wanna commit unalive and am reverting back into junior year SUPER DEPRESSED me :)#and i can’t stop being so fucking annoying the way i’m typing is pissing me off like shut the fuck up jesus christ#jesus came back this weekend or smth#that’s crazy#but yeah#teachers are all up my ass and i don’t know how long i can keep up the perfect student act bc clearly fake it till you make it isn’t working#this year. someone please say i love you to me i’ve never before understood why people need to hear it out loud but today i need it so bad#debating donating to a streamer for the first time just to get someone to say i love you to me#like. i’m desperate. i hate myself so much rn#and i’m self aware too like what kinda bs is that when you hate yourself and could very well fix it but nooo for some reason brain said sad#and so much anxiety#my leg was shaking while driving ya boy hard braked so many times it was so scary#luckily i didn’t do it on the gas#but yeah i’m killing myself with this workload bro#what’s that one tommy quote?#like. i want to spill coke on my keyboard and have it fry up and kill me. i want to jump off the cadillac and into a fucking volcano.#the mood for today#210406
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tiredsadpeach · a month ago
Tw suicide
#I can’t tell if he’s going to be okay but now I’m thinking and I have to get the thoughts out I’m sorry#I just need to ducking do it the sooner the better because then I don’t have to lose anyone I don’t have to watch them go because I’ll#already be gone and yeah it’ll hurt people but they’ll be okay eventually they can get therapy and help and even if they’re not okay idk why#but I feel calmer about losing them if I’m already gone and that might be awful and selfish but I just I can’t handle it I can barely handle#losing pets like it fucking hurts so much I don’t wanna see my cats go okay I don’t wanna see my friends go I don’t wanna see the family I#care about go I can’t do that I can’t handle it if I don’t die soon then when people go then I’ll most likely do it anyway so I should just#hurry up and go itd cause me less pain and then I don’t have to deal with trauma anymore either I don’t have to get a job that’ll make me#panic I don’t have to worry about running into them I’ll be free and safe and at peace that’s all I fuckjng want I just want to be at peace#why can’t I have that why can’t the people is car e about have that why why why it’s so unfair it’s so fucking unfair#no one deserves all that absolutely no one#maybe the world can just end that’d be easier I could be at peace with everyone going at once we’d all go to the same place#I feel so sick I want to relapse on everything I want to hurt I want to die#it’s not even just the I’m not good enough stuff that makes me wanna die it’s just the idea that staying means seeing others I love die and#I just can’t I can thhandle it I can’t even. s handle trying to keep him safe right now and sure it’s not my responsibility but I’m traumati#traumatized so yes it is it always has been I have to be there I have to keep my friends alive#It all hurts so much
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