#i came to this realization and now i feel complete

[enchantressiren]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐭, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.❞

What is it about you that makes your lover forget everyone else? + channeled song(s)

Subliminal channel | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition. Credit: an anonymous person, thank you.

Normal intuitive readings: @sefinaa

Average word count: 1.4K

Divider | Divider II

Pile 1

Instantly, I hear “your eyes, your eyes,” and then I start to sing the song “just the way you are” by Bruno Mars in my head. The gaze you have with other people draws them towards you very quickly, and you have noticed that because you focus on the way you dress and that you take care of yourself, you have seen a drastic change with other people. Society focuses on beauty, and you have noticed that, but instead of using your beauty, you have used it to get the things you desire, regardless of your weight and your gender. For example, I see you guys, regardless of your gender, wearing some type of makeup, whether that’s mascara, eyeliner, blush, concealer, or foundation. Whatever it is that you do, it is working, and for you, your lover, or your future lover, is going to go nuts on it—in terms of the song that I channel for you guys, they will literally love you for you. Have you seen those troupes where it says, “I love you just the way you are, and when you open yourself and you remove that shell, I will love you even more?” That is the biggest vibe I’m getting from them with you. They cannot get you out of their heads. They literally think about you 24/7, and they like to think about you when they’re stressed about something. They will drift their minds towards you, and they will feel completely relaxed. You have such a radiant energy that people also think of you aside from romance; they feel happy, you have a genuine heart, and you have a lot of empathy. You show it to other people, and you’re very genuine with them, and they can see that, so when they speak to you, they feel completely energized, and they feel so good about themselves. They wonder why this is the case. But you already know how this is the case because you came to the conclusion with one of the last readings or the pick your card piles that you have read about yourself, and all of this makes sense to you now, and now that you see this, this is your sign once more. None of you guys doubt it, but to have another sign about this makes you or will make you realize so many things about yourself that you have been pushing away.

Coming back to the question, it’s your intelligence. My intuition tells me that you come up with so many ideas and can pick up on things so quickly. For example, a lot of you guys in this pile are focusing on the art section, like writing, singing, drawing, etc., and you have never done this ever, but the way that you pick up on things you are doing makes you look like you are an amateur or a professional, and when you tell people that you have only been doing it or practicing it for a little bit, they are fully shocked because they don’t believe you, but it’s the truth.

For sexual, I see that the way that you grip onto the bed sheet and the way that you hide your moans and your groans because of embarrassment is one of the cutest things for them. First of all, when you are with other people, you ooze confidence, and people do not realize that you are beyond insecure. You are a very insecure person. The only people who know it are the people you trust and your lover, or in the future, they will. But it’s okay to be insecure, everyone feels that way at some point in their life, so do not be so harsh with yourself. Especially in the bedroom or having sexual intercourse with them. You’re small moans, and your groans always echo in their minds whenever they’re aroused thinking about you or the horny when they see their kinks or dirty talk around them. It is very easy to make them aroused, so if you spoke dirty to them for like two minutes, they would be it, they would want to fuck you and bend you over, and the rest is a story. So I’m also hearing from my intuition that when you grip the sheets, you are going to show them pure vulnerability and trust, but you’re also showing them that they are making you feel good, and for them, it’s a long-term goal of theirs that they have been trying to achieve for a few months with you. And because it finally happened, they were very happy, or they will be very happy, but you are insecure about it. but my intuition tells me not to feel that way. It's the cutest shit for them—sometimes people say babies are so cute, and they will say, “oh I want to eat them because they’re so cute.” It has the same energy here. I know that you read some piles as mentioned and came to the realization of who you are, and this can help you, but intuitively, I truly hear lots of sadness with this pile and a lot of anxiety. As I was channeling this reading, I was breaking my nails and biting them, which never happens because I don’t do that, so I want you to start to work on taking care of your inner child and shadow work to get rid of the unwanted negativity that you do not deserve.

Coming back to the question again, another thing that your lover will literally think about is your butt. They are huge ass lover, and your size is like the perfect grab. During sex or when sex with you guys happens, they will always be either spanking your ass or grabbing it, and then always eating it out, but I also see them pinching it too. I’m getting a mix of energy from different genders.. so those who have lovers or will have lovers who have dicks will be into your butt to spank you, eat you out, and pinch you, and those who have lovers, or in the future, who have vaginas, will be into pinching your butt, squeezing it, or using sex toys—are you guys bottoms? I’m getting a lot of bottom energy from every single person in this pile, and this comes back to how I spoke about you guys showing confidence, a dominant energy with other people, but deep inside you guys are very insecure, and you will hide it from everyone. You also love having your lover take control, but in a way, you guys feel very insecure about it, like you've always been this person who has always been dominant in your life, and now you come to terms that you like to be a sub or the bottom or even a vers or a switch or whatever. But you guys, it’s literally okay to be like a bottom or a switch or whatever. You don’t always have to be a dom, and you don’t always have to be a confident person, because even confident people will have doubts, negative emotions, and they will also feel insecure. It is human emotions, and you have nothing to worry about. My intuition tells me you have nothing to worry about; therefore, you have nothing to worry about.

Channel song:

Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars

Pile II

Why are you guys such sweet souls? I mean, seriously, I’m getting this very relaxed and calm feeling, but I’m also getting the sense that I want to donate to many charities that are involved with good people. I also hear the song Kill Him with Kindness by Selena Gomez repeatedly in my head. Your future spouse or your current lover knows that when someone is mean to you and they use cruel words about you when they spread rumors about you, instead of getting mad and going after them with revenge or doing the same as them, you instead, give them kindness. And some people may see that as naïve or something weak, but to you and your lover… It is strength and resilience. to have that much courage to show kindness to someone else, despite the hardships that you have gone through, and not have an ounce of hatred for them, but forgiveness is incredibly beautiful, but also so heartwarming and wholesome to your lover that instead of thinking about everyone else, they think about your kindness. And to point out something.. your kindness has changed your lover drastically, and if they are your current lover, you can see it yourself. I see the sexual troupe “brat x softies doms.” That’s your relationship with them. I know that your lover is not dom. Both of you do both positions (top/bottom, dom/sub), etc., but that is what I see for both of you. You guys have respect for each other, and you show it through sexual intercourse or you will show it, but because you have this softness and love for them, this feeling of care and compassion, you will listen to anything they say with sweetness. They don’t have this desire to be a brat with you. They genuinely want to improve themselves, so you would be proud of them. I hear that they seek your validation, but only because they want to improve themselves as people, just like you have. The amount of trauma you guys went through is insane, and they admire you so much.

My mind is wondering about a scene about a school where the teachers would always ask a student, “who do you admire? Who do you look up to?” and I see your future lover or your current lover sitting in a chair. And they look up to the teacher, and they just mention your name, and they go on and on about details about you that they truly love, but they don’t tell you because it’s so sacred and personal to them. And I see the teacher just listening to your current lover, your future spouse, as a ramble on, and instead of anger or annoyance, because they keep talking, there’s a sense of patience and sincerity from them. My intuition tells me the teacher is you and how you treat them, and the student is your lover’s heart. Their heart is speaking and rambling on, and they cannot control what they’re saying, but the teacher or you are there to listen, help, and guide them. That’s why I’m feeling the song “kill em with kindness” because that’s kind of what you do with people, and when you guys fight or when you guys will fight—when you do fight and you do make up, they will be coming running to you and apologizing profusely because they feel extremely guilty because you’re such a sweet person that they just can't stay mad at you.

In terms of sexual life, they really adore when you give them so much trust to take control when they are topping or when they are your dom because their trust is superior. It is so important for them that they would die on the hill just to have your trust. Intuition tells me that they literally worship the ground you walk on, and you are literally like their “god.” I also hear that “your body is a temple that I must worship.” I can see that there’s a lot of love with your pile, and so my intuition tells me that there is going to be a lot of body worship around your sexual life with them and that they don’t even care about their own pleasure. They focus on making you feel really good about yourself, because I hear that you guys are actually insecure, and sometimes you feel like the kindness that you have is stupid or naïve, or you just want to be tough, and if you're assertive, it's a good thing. But keep in mind, you guys, that it is okay to be kind. Kindness is not weakness. It is strength and bravery to literally forgive someone, maybe not for them but for you, and to not fight with dirty playing or revenge, but to show compassion for them—that is something to be incredibly proud of, and I’m so proud of you, as are your lover, your friends, and everyone who literally loves you, so promise me that you guys will treat yourself with kindness.

Coming back to the sexual life in terms of body worship, they’re also going to be focusing on your genitalia part because some of you guys have sexual trauma around it, and some of you also have insecurities focused on it, so they’re going to be more gentle with it than they would be in general because I hear that some of you have rough lovers. So they’ll leave kiss marks on your thighs, and if they were lipstick, it would be on your inner thigh, not like an imprint but like “whenever you feel sad, you’ll see the marks, and you’ll know that I love you when I’m not there” kind of energy. I’m not feeling it’s something rough or something like I’m marking you and I’m claiming you; it’s really, really soft energy despite the trope you guys have. And it’s really wholesome too. Like, out of everyone that your future spouse, your lover would think of, and out of every single thing that they are stressed out with or bothered by, whenever they feel stressed out, they go back to you and your sweet smile and your sincerity, or whenever they want to be back in the present moment, it’s always you on their mind. I don’t know how to explain the love that I feel thinking and channeling this reading for you, but do you know that I feel safe? I feel such security that I can do anything I desire, and I know that I would have someone to back me up. And I also feel like if I had a child with them, I know they wouldn’t leave me and that it would last so long till I’m old and I'd die with them. That is the energy and love I feel from them. It’s so powerful, it’s so enlightening, it’s so peaceful, and I’m just feeling pure happiness. There is not an ounce of hatred or anger in my heart, and when I think of you, and as you read this pile, you’re going to feel the same way, and you’re going to be incredibly confused, just like I am. Because I also hear that you guys are very intuitive, and you know that this was your pile instantly, and as you read what I have said, you kind of know it’s them too. You guys just know who they are, but you don’t know who they are. You get this energy when you see them; you know it’s them, and you kind of see what they look like, but you can’t. It’s very contradictory. It confuses you and stresses you out, and you’re starting to doubt your intuition, but don’t. When you read the piles from other tarot readers, you just know, but you can’t explain or say who it is, and it drives you insane, so let me just tell you something. Let it go. Just go with the flow and let it come to you naturally. It’s okay not to know everything; believe me, I know. Your intuition is a guide, so don’t force it. It is like forcing a journey you are going through; some things are just out of your control, and that’s okay! If you force the energy, you’re going to become stressed out, you're going to lose trust in yourself, and you’re going to lose yourself in the moment that you forget who you are. So just relax; it’s okay, you’re going to find out, and when you do find out, you’re going to be kicking your feet because you knew it was them, but you’re just going to know at the final moment, and that is supposed to happen. It’s your soul journey.

Things like these are very complicated. It is a struggle, even for me. It is a struggle, like I’m getting some of you guys feel like tarot readers or intuitive readers just know everything, but we don't; we literally do not know. We get confused just like you guys because we are all humans, so honestly and intuitively, do not worry.

Channel song:

Kill ‘em with kindness - Selena Gomez

Don’t worry, be happy - Bobby McFerrin

Pile III

Right off the bat, the way you walk turns your future lover or your current lover on. I'm seeing a model walking on a runway as she sways her hip back and forth and she has a calm, resting face, but she is pure confident, has sexy energy, and has a bad bitch vibe. I see the model walking on the runway, she’s getting a lot of attention from people and those in the audience, but at the same time, she’s not overwhelmed with the attention. She just keeps doing her own thing, and then, when she finishes her walk, she comes back, sits on a chair that they use for movie stars, drinks her refreshing lime water, and talks to herself in the mirror as she hypes herself up and tells herself how good she did, how amazing she is, how proud she is, etc. This is a huge vibe I feel with you, like you guys will not let anyone step over you, and you will not let anyone, especially if your lover fights with you, get mad at you. No, this is not how you work because I get this—I’m hearing my intuition say, “I’m a bad bitch. I’m the queen. I’m the king. You cannot walk over me. I know who I am; that’s my truth, so fuck off.” Yeah, so what my intuition is telling me is the same thing that I have been telling you: you have this very, very strong energy, and your current lover or your  future spouse feels the same way, and that’s what makes you so irresistible. They can’t stop thinking about you. 

People say that you have narcissistic tendencies, but in reality, you care about yourself so much that it does not matter what people say about you. You do whatever you want, and you do not apologize for how you act, and that’s what they’re going to love so much about you, and that's why they keep thinking about you. They will literally want to pass the time as they think about you. Think of meditation, but the meditation is just you and their memories with you. You are their motivation to gain confidence because sometimes they are insecure and you always try to hype them up, or that you will try to hype them up, and it’s a bit of a struggle, but because they keep thinking about you and how you act with others lately, or in the future they will have enough confidence to do what they desire to do, their own things to do.. or even chores? I see someone wearing some kind of black aesthetic, maybe alt, Gothic, emo, or maybe a suit, washing the dishes, so I’m also getting the sense that it’s really based on their clothes and their style that your confidence, your love, and your devotion help them to wear what they love. And your confidence also gives them a sense of purpose.

With sexual, I’m feeling a song about daddies—you give off mommy/daddy vibes. And I’m getting the sense that you like to take control during sex, so with them, they’re going to keep thinking about how you’re such a good top or dom and how you can make them feel so comfortable doing it because with other people, they are never comfortable, but with you, they’re so comfortable that they would literally let you control everything about their lives, and they’ll be persistent with that, but you don’t like that, and they’re okay with it if you do be their dom for everything. Like, the trust they have in you is insane and beautiful (don’t take it for granted). I see a box of cash that has been crumbled up; you can think of the cash as their feelings being played with like a fiddle stick, and they push the box to you to give it to you to control, and you keep pushing it back to them like, “no I’m not going to play with your emotions. I want to love and take care of you because I love you.” So I’m getting a sense of deep devotion from your side, and because they’re more shy about who they are, you're able to help them embrace their authenticity and other favorite things to do during sex. I keep hearing this reading more on them for whatever reason, and there’s not much energy on you because I think in a way you also wanted to see more about them than you wanted to see with yourself because you really know yourself and my opinions wouldn’t change how you see yourself. And when you get compliments, you don’t really take them; you just accept them and let them go because you only care about your own opinion, and having an ego isn’t that fun for you anyway. My intuition tells me that you guys pick a card about yourself and the first impressions of other people, but then when you get the reading, you're just like, “I don’t really want to do this because I don’t need it.” 

So coming back to the vibes of you guys, give mommy and daddy vibes. I’m also in the sense that you guys like to listen to music when you guys masturbate, have sex, or, in the future, you guys will, because it kind of gets you into this mood and this passion with them. When you guys finish, they will think of the song and remember you guys making love in a way this is like for you because they keep thinking about you and keep showing their love and admiration towards you. So I’m also getting this feeling that you're a sneaky bastard. You guys do small trinkets of things to get them to think of you. For example, you guys will watch a movie with them that’s more focused on the sexual life and about the lover focusing on their partner, and it kind of goes into their subconscious mind, and then they’re like, "oh, let me worship you and love you,” or you just send them a social media video about you or what you want or what you want them to buy, and they just buy it for you because they love you so much, but at the same time, it’s like, “I’m getting kind of influenced by the videos or the things you show me, but I don’t regret anything, and I’m not a mindless zombie, I just, I just want to do it for you.” Intuition tells me they have a love language for receiving and giving gifts, and them buying new gifts is showing their devotion. You send them videos and stuff. It's not like a gift, but they also feel loved by it, like you think about them and want to show them something, and you’re giving them more attention or more company with them, like you’re spoiling them with your attention. 

Right now, I'm hearing, “you’re such a fucking whore; I love it.” I think you guys have a thing for saying derogatory words to your lover during sex like sometimes you’ll call them a slut or a whore or like a bitch like you’re my bottom bitch, etc. and for some reason you kind of feel bad afterwards but like they love it, they literally love it; it just a heat fire into their chest or their soul and they’re just like  “you know what screw you, I can do this, I can do that”, so like whenever they’re hurting and they are struggling with their own emotions, they will literally think about that moment, and they will just do whatever they’re scared of like they will just completely attack the fear—you feel bad for them but this is literally like their key of getting their ass up and doing what they need to do. I’m hearing “you are my savior,” so for them, they think you are the hero, like you don’t even have to have a complex I’m just getting this whole energy of “you are my hero, you saved my life, you mean the world to me, and I cannot thank you enough.” I’m also getting another song called Maniac, and I keep hearing, “she’s a maniac, a maniac. I sure know.” During sex, you guys literally, like I said, are completely in that moment. You have that much passion that when you keep taking control, it gives you a high, like you are in that moment, and you become like a maniac that you keep going and going and you just cannot stop. The only way for you to stop is if they say a safe word, and I know what you’re thinking, but you are not hurting them. You are okay, so do not worry. But I’m getting this fast, this fast thinking; everything is fast in my mind, and I feel very hyper, and that’s how I feel overall with your energy during sex because it’s like fast pace, quickies, etc., even public sex I hear.

Overall, the energy, the feeling of passion, the confidence, and these daddy/mommy vibes are what make your lover completely forget everyone else but you. You just have this dominant energy, you don’t have a tough persona, because it’s literally you, and you do not apologize to anyone for being yourself. When people attack you with snarky comments, you don’t give a shit; you just keep going, and that’s what your future lover or your current lover, as of the moment, loves about you, and that’s what they fully think about most of the time. They are supposed to think about their work, their homework, a meeting, their hobbies, etc., but no, it’s always you, you, you, you, on their mind, always and forever  

Channel songs:

Such a whore - Jvla

Maniac - Michael Sembello

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[01zfan]

malpractice | s. es

med student!eunseok x reader | 5.6k words

everyone stay healthy our future doctors are roleplaying as physicians to fuck their roommates…this was my first roleplaying fic so anon i hope it’s to your liking!

contains: roleplaying, NO dubcon, no protection is used

eunseok and you both agreed it was a one time thing. a quick hookup, fueled by lack of human interaction and alcohol. 

the night had started normal. you shared a small break from long shadow shifts at the hospital with some of your favorite classmates. your friend group of future professionals did what anyone in your age group would do. the club was packed and the mood was high. drinks were passed around and rounds of shots were bought en masse. it was a mistake you didn’t know you were making, getting so wasted in the presence of eunseok. 

when the shots started to sting a little less the two of you started getting touchy. his hand was on the small of your back and your arm gripped his bicep. by the time the shots tasted like water you and eunseok were dry humping in a dark corner of the club. 

the music made your ribcage shake and the darkness of the club made you heady. your view of eunseok came in snatches, only visible when the lights of the club would shine on him periodically. his eyes were hooded and his movements were clumsy like yours, driven by lust but slowed by the alcohol. bodies on the dance floor bumped into the two of you, causing kisses meant for lips to land on cheeks and making you stumble into his arms. eunseok switched with you, caging you between him and a n exposed brick wall that felt rough against your back. when he looked down at you, a brief moment of sobriety hit you both. the moment of clarity was gone the second eunseok started rubbing his thumb on your bottom lip.

“let’s go back to the apartment.” eunseok said.

you nodded and followed behind him, sending a text to your friend that you and eunseok were calling it a night.

as soon as the door of your shared apartment was closed you were on top of eachother. no more moments of clarity, not even a second to think about how you two would change the dynamic of your relationship forever. instead you fucked your roommate that you told yourself you’d never fuck on couch in your communal space. you rode him until your thighs burned, then you let him return the favor by making him do all the work. you were drooling into the armrest of the couch by the time he was finished with you, only knowing his name and the feeling of his hands pressed against your body. 

you didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until you woke up the next morning. eunseok slept on the floor next to the couch with a pillow from his bed tucked underneath his head. in any other situation you would’ve teased him for sleeping on the ground, but then you remembered why. events of the night hit you the same time the hangover migraine hit, nearly knocking the breath out of you. you snuck from the couch and around eunseok’s body to close yourself in your bedroom.

since then, you had avoided eunseok completely. you didn’t sit on the couch anymore to watch television. you stay in your room now, finding ways to entertain yourself when eunseok is home. the only time you left your bed was when you heard eunseok leave the apartment or go into his room. avoiding eachother had become an unspoken acknowledgment, both of you falling into a schedule that left the communal spaces empty in shifts. your usual conversations devolved into short pleasantries. tension was like a thick fog in your apartment. both of you stayed away from the other to try and grant space. 

you knew sex with eunseok was a one time thing. so why was it that you couldn’t escape him? the memories of your night haunted you dreamscape, infiltrating the one place you had reprieve from the stress of being in eunseok’s proximity. 

the dreams started the night after. your subconscious filled in gaps your drunk mind had forgotten or glossed over. you felt eunseok’s hot breath on your neck in your sleep and his hand ghost over your neck. when you felt the experimental squeeze on your windpipe you woke up with a breathless gasp. you were drenched in sweat, looking around your room as if eunseok was in there with you.

everything only got worse after the first dream. they would start innocent, like studying with eunseok or the normal dream of you in class. the beginning would always lure you in, giving you a false sense of security. but no matter how normal or mundane the dream was it would always have eunseok in it and it would always end the same way. sometimes it would be eunseok taking you from behind on your shared couch, smacking your ass until you swore you could feel the pain in real life. sometimes it would be you on your knees, looking up to eunseok’s bobbing adam’s apple as his hand in your hair tightened. no matter what, you would always jolt yourself awake when your conscious mind realized what was happening. 

tonight was different. everything had come to a boiling point, you were dressed in your scrubs walking down the quiet ward to greet your patient. when you opened the door to the hospital room it was eunseok was on the hospital bed, whimpering about pain. you were trying to be the best nurse you knew you could be, asking him where it hurt and what his symptoms were. it was no use, the way eunseok pulled at your scrubs made that clear. you had known by now that your dreams never ended with something as simple as a diagnosis. this dream instead ended with you riding eunseok on his hospital bed while he groped every part of your body.

you no longer shot up from the bed gasping for air. when the nonsensical ridiculous dreams kept coming, you were forced to deal with it quietly. now you let your eyes open quickly to stare at whatever was in front of you as you came to. your throat was always dry now, and you had to blink to bring moisture back to your eyes. 

you blinked repeatedly trying to adjust to the darkness in your room. everything felt uncomfortable. your body was drenched in sweat, down the line of your back and underneath the covers stuffed between your legs. your clothes stuck to your sweaty body, and you could feel your underwear press to your folds each time you moved.

your clock told you it was time to go to bed, in any other case you would’ve turned around in bed and dealt with it in the morning. but the water bottle next to your bed was empty, and you needed to go to the bathroom. you considered your option, smacking your lips to try and wet your throat. when your throat still felt dry and scratchy you stretched carefully before getting up from your bed.

you nearly stumbled out of your bedroom rubbing your eyes. you didn’t want to wake yourself up too much, knowing you might struggle trying to fall asleep later. you are still out of it, making a wobbly line for the fridge. your mind was so busy thinking about your dreams that you didn’t notice eunseok sitting at the table. he took notes diligently, pausing his movements to watch you over his circular frames. you visibly tensed when you finally noticed his presence. eunseok froze the same way for a moment before going back to writing in his journal. 

you freeze in place and eunseok does the same. he waits for you to say something first, evident in the way he clears his throat.

“you’re up late.” you say.

your attempt to sound casual fails. your tone is awkward, stating the obvious as you shift on your feet. eunseok laughs quietly as he highlights something in his medical book.

“case study,” eunseok doesn’t look up from his notes. “taking longer than i thought.” he says.

he looks at his watch again before looking back at you. if you look at eunseok for too long, you start to remember details you tried to forget. it takes everything in you to turn away silently while making a beeline to your bedroom.

“what are you doing awake?” eunseok asked.

the question was rushed, falling from his lips before you could shut him out again. when you turn around you see eunseok no longer looks at his books. his highlighter and pen rest in the binding of his journal as he looks at you.

“bad dream.” you said sheepishly. 

you could see eunseok’s head tilt as he thought about something. he tapped on his book nervously, looking at you over the rim of his glasses. you stood there in between the space of your room and the kitchen foolishly, waiting for eunseok to say what was on his mind. he cleared his throat, looking to you directly.

“the walls are thin, ya know.” he said. “especially when i’m in here doing work late at night.”

that was all you needed to hear before quickly turning on your heel to walk into your room. the heat made your face feel like it was on fire when you reached for the doorknob of your bedroom.

“wait.” eunseok said behind you. 

when you looked at him you saw that he had gotten up from the table quickly. he looked to the seat on the other side of the table, the one you haven’t sat at in so long. 

“can we just talk? please?” eunseok said.

when you sat down, you found out that eunseok had heard everything. he tried taking a neutral approach, trying to save you from some of the shame. but it was unavoidable as eunseok told you he’s been hearing everything. you were nearly crying when eunseok reached an awkward hand out to pat on your shoulder. eunseok told you sincerely you didn’t have to be embarrassed, but shame still made your head hang low. eunseok didn’t stop rubbing your shoulder, but you didn’t spare a glance towards him. it wasn’t until he stopped rubbing your shoulder and cleared his throat, opening his mouth over and over again as he tried to gather what to say.

“i want to help you.” he says.

you lift your head to look at eunseok with narrowed eyes. shock has left you and was replaced with anger fueled by embarrassment. the fact that eunseok seemed to only want to throw salt on the wound made the hair rise on your neck.

“not funny eunseok.” you say.

your arms are crossed protectively as you get ready to stand up from the table. eunseok reaches towards you, a hand asking you to stop.

“i’m serious.” eunseok lets his hand rest on the table as he gathers his thoughts. “i was thinking. maybe if we did it under the guise of something else it could ease the tension.” he says.

when you realize what eunseok is hinting at you can’t stop your eyebrows from furrowing. your shocked expression mirrors eunseok, like he is also surprised he came up with such a thing.

“you mean like roleplaying?” when eunseok nods you keep talking. “like we fuck but you’re my doctor?”

“if you don’t like it. we can stop and pretend it never happened.” eunseok assures you.

you consider all your options. you think about yelling at eunseok for assuming you’d be so easy to say yes to something so ridiculous. but you also think about the dreams you’ve had, how you hhaven’t stopped thinking about eunseok since that night. if this backfired, you’ll move out and never be seen by eunseok again. you still feel a pit in your stomach at the possibility of it being awkward. you look at your roommate in his seat at the table, twiddling his thumbs as he waits for you. you’re no better, picking at your hands underneath the table.

“i feel like after…” you clear your throat and force yourself to maintain eye contact with eunseok even though your face feels like it’s on fire. “after we should have a very long conversation about what happened that night after the club.” you say matter-of-factly.

eunseok’s eyes light up and he nods his head vigorously as you stand up from the table.

“i agree completely.” he says.

eunseok still sits at the table looking up at you when you rock back and forth on your heels. every attempt you make trying to seem confident in this situation seems to fall flat. you wish you could’ve slipped into the act, a non-assuming patient that sweetly asks where to go for the examination. instead you clear your throat awkwardly and look around the space of the common area.

“my room or yours?” you ask shyly.

eunseok stands up from the table quickly, pushing in his chair slowly before walking over to you. you can see he has trouble too by the way he gestures to his room. you two are silent, you only nod before heading to eunseok’s room. you can hear him push in your chair and clothes his books, turning off the light in the common area and following behind you. before you made it through the threshold of his door, eunseok grabs your hand and holds it gently. he turns on the lamp that sits on his desk, and clears off his neatly folded pajamas that sat on his made bed with one hand. 

you stood next to eunseok’s bed and he stood beside you, your hand still in his. it was daunting, being in eunseok’s room knowing what you came in here to do. all the other times you had been in his room was to quickly look for something or peer in to ask if he wanted to order takeout. but now you were in eunseok’s room looking down at his sheets, anxiously waiting for what was going to come next.

eunseok turns to you, smile on his face as he speaks.

“should i put on my lab coat?”

with a serious voice but a smile on his face eunseok helps ease some of the tension. you laugh and shake your head, playfully hitting eunseok in his shoulder. 

eunseok squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go. you felt him come behind you, placing both of his hands gently on your elbows.

“you can lay down.” eunseok said gently.

you silently nodded your head, realizing it had started. you could feel the atmosphere change as eunseok guided you slowly to crawl on his bed. one of his hands moved to the back of your head to help you lay on the pillows gently. he was handling you slowly and carefully like glass, the complete opposite of how he held you the first time. 

eunseok stayed by your side, holding your hand as he looked down at you. you found yourself avoiding his gaze at all costs, suddenly becoming hyperaware of everything about yourself. how you were laying, how you looked from eunseok’s perspective, how tight you were holding onto his hand. you tugged on his hand to bring him down to you in an effort to level the playing field. 

when he was crouched beside the bed next to you, eunseok took in all of your features. his hand that was holding yours let go to run a slow finger on your jawline, resting on your forehead like he was checking your temperature. you held gently to his tricep, needing something to hold for comfort.

“are you comfortable?” eunseok asked.

you shake your head still anxiously picking at the sheets underneath your fingertips.

“i think. i think you need to take a closer look.” you whisper.

eunseok smiles, his hand that was on your forehead reaching down to pinch your cheek.

eunseok crawls onto the bed, slotting himself between your partially spread legs. he rests on his haunches, rubbing soothing hands up and down your calves. you focus on the tiny sound your nails make against the fabric of eunseok’s bedsheets. you can feel his eyes on you and you’re too anxious to focus your eyes in the dimly lit room to look back at him.

eunseok recognizes too much about you, the way you nervously pick at everything around you and the way you bite your lip when you’re stressed. he wants to help you, he wants to get rid of the tension that weighs down on your shoulders each time he passes by you. so eunseok does what any good doctor would do and begins his examination.

“when did the dreams start?” eunseok asks.

he’s serious, his hands reach down to your ankles to push them up the bed, forcing you to bend your legs at the knee. you try to think hard, focusing everything to get into the character of his patient. put you’re shy, too shy to look at anything but your bent knee. eunseok’s hand that comes to rest on top of your knee forces you to open your mouth.

“since that night we—i went to the club.” you stammered. 

“i see.” eunseok hums sympathetically, hand working down your knee towards your thigh, stopping where the bottom of your night shorts begin. “and what happened when you went to the club?” eunseok asks.

you clear your throat, heels digging into the mattress.

”i wont judge you.” eunseok places a chaste kiss on your knee. “what happened when you went to the club?” he asks again.

eunseok starts messing with the bottom of your shorts, going underneath the fabric to rub on your skin. his hands are soft, wedging. between your ass and the bed until you are in the palm of his hand. you squeeze your eyes shut and open them to look at the ceiling. your hand that isn’t picking at the sheets in underneath your night shirt, hand over your stomach to self-soothe.

“i had sex.” you say quietly.

eunseok hums in acknowledgment before reaching his other hand into your shorts. this hand rubs on the top of your thigh, reaching all the way up until he hits your waistband. eunseok is so close to touching you where you have been needing him the most. anticipation makes you dizzy to the point that you barely hear him.

“so the dreams started that night?” eunseok asks.

you nod your head, the words are caught in your throat when you feel eunseok bend his hand to cup your heat.

“they started that night.” you bring your hips closer to eunseok’s hand when he presses his hand against your heat. “they happen every night now.” you say.

“i see.” eunseok looks up from between your legs to try and see your face. all he can see is your head pressed into the pillows as you pinch his bedsheets between your two fingers. eunseok presses his hand against you a little more until your back arches slightly off the bed. “and what do you dream about?” he asks.

eunseok hears you hesitate for a second. you let your knees come together, almost locking eunseok’s hands in place while simultaneously keeping him away. he doesn’t want to pry, he doesn’t want to pry your legs apart to give himself better access. he waits for you to get comfortable again until you part your legs again. he’s even gentler than before, taking his hand away from your heat to hold your hand that rests on your stomach. you squeeze his hand and eunseok can hear you let out a breath. you put your hand on top of eunseok’s to slowly drag both of your hands underneath your waistband. his hand underneath your ass lifts your bottom half up slightly so he can grab at your thighs.

“my roommate.” your voice is airy, barely above a whisper as you answer eunseok’s question.

“what about your roommate?” eunseok asks.

he kneads your thighs and your sides, trying to coax anything he can out of you. eunseok wants to hear about your dreams, to see if they’re the same as his. he kisses your knee, working his way down your leg just to go right back up. from resting on his haunches eunseok can see your face clearly. he can tell his ministrations on you are relaxing, your legs wobble but they don’t close in on eachother. when eunseok grips a untouched part of your body he can see your chest raise abruptly. 

“i dream about having sex again.” when eunseok grabs the flesh at the apex of your thighs you grab a fistful of his sheets. “with him.” eunseok hums and grabs the same place. “all the time.” you ramble.

eunseok pulls both of his hands from your shorts and rubs your legs. he does it slow, trying to get you to stop looking at the ceiling to look at him. you prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at eunseok between your legs. his hands go to your waistband, hands curling underneath the elastic as he looks to you for approval.

“i’m going to take these off.” you lift your hips and eunseok begins pulling them down. “for the next part of the examination.” he says

you nod, lifting your feet off the bed when your shorts are pulled to your ankles. eunseok tosses your shorts over the bed somewhere in his room. it’s not important when you’re laid bare for eunseok. 

he’s slow at first, hands on the underside of your leg rubbing all the way down to your heat until he works his way back up to your knee again. it’s cruel, torturous almost as you squirm on his bed. you can feel all of eunseok’s fingers as he rubs your hot skin, and you can feel goosebumps prickle along your skin as anticipation builds over you.

the next time eunseok works both of his hands to your heat one of his hands splays across your stomach to hold you down softly. his other hand finds its way to your core, rubbing his fingers up and down your folds. it’s only more teasing, forcing yourself to listen to the wet sound of you on his fingertips. eunseok sweetly kisses your knee again, looking into your eyes as he does it. you bit your lip, and you fail again at maintaining eye contact when eunseok puts his finger inside of you.

you arch slightly into his hand, any attempt to go higher is stopped by eunseok’s hand on your stomach.

“try not to move during the examination.” eunseok says it playfully while he watches you squirm. 

you stop trying to swivel your hips into eunseok’s finger to follow his orders.

“okay.” you pout.

eunseok almost takes pity on you seeing how badly you want to move. he gives you another finger as consolation, and lets you scoot your ass lower on the bed to fuck yourself on his fingers. his hand on your stomach had to go to your knee to try and keep your legs apart.

“do you dream about this?” eunseok asks.

he bends his fingers as if he’s beckoning to you. your hand goes to your knee to put it over eunseok’s hand.

“yes.” you say breathlessly, nodding against the pillows.

you can see eunseok’s smirk even in his dimly lit room, and how his shirt starts jumping as he speeds his fingers up. you try to close your legs around his fingers, but his hand on your knee stops you.

“just like this?” eunseok asks.

“just like that.” you whine.

you can hear eunseok’s light laugh as he watches you get high off of him. it’s not long before you are digging your heels into the mattress and your body starts feeling hot all over. eunseok notices, he sees the way you reach behind you to press against the headboard. eunseok keeps giving it to you, moving to sit on the bed between your legs. his hand on your knee goes to your clit and starts doing revolutions.

“eunseok.” you whimper. 

eunseok looks up from your cunt to focus on your face. your eyes are wet and your legs twitch. eunseok almost bends down to kiss you, but he remembers who he’s supposed to be for you right now. so he remains stoic, lifting an eyebrow as he continues to pump his fingers into you.

“hmm?”

“i’m close.”

as soon as you utter the words, eunseok withdraws his fingers. your back is still arched off the bed and your body quickly comes down from the high that was building up. you prop yourself up on your elbows again, to see eunseok with his fingers in his mouth. he brings his hand that was rubbing revolutions on your clit to your lips, his wet hand beside your stomach as he holds himself up. you hesitate for a second before opening your mouth, letting eunseok put his fingers on your tongue.

“you taste so sweet.” eunseok looks at your bare stomach from your uplifted shirt. he puts his hand on your stomach while you continue sucking on his fingers. “so healthy.” eunseok says.

you nod and hollow your cheeks around his fingers. eunseok takes his out of your mouth and trails down your chin before desperately grabbing your clothed chest. your hand goes to his tricep, trying to encourage him to keep touching you that way. eunseok lifts up your shirt to expose more of your stomach before bending down to kiss your soft skin.

“i think i found the cure.” eunseok says between kisses. “for your problem.”

eunseok starts sucking harshly on your stomach, pulling away each time to admire his work. he blows cold air on each bruise and kisses it gently as if he’s welcoming it. you stopped trying to prop yourself on your elbows, you fully sink your body into the pillows and the mattress underneath you.

“and what’s that?” you ask breathlessly.

eunseok pulls away from your stomach, looking up at you from between your legs. his smile is wicked and you already know what he’s going to say. 

“as a professional in the medical field, i just think you need to get fucked again.” eunseok puts his fingers back inside of you, earning a moan. “don’t you agree?” he asks.

“i agree.”

eunseok takes his hands away from your body and lifts his shirt over his head with a single hand. you do the same but fumble with the end of your shirt, pulling it off your head in a rush. while eunseok works on his belt you take off your bra and then help him pull off his jeans the rest of the way. all of your clothes are thrown somewhere random in eunseok’s room, immediately once they are out of sight they are out of mind. you only care about eunseok’s dick that bobs in the space of his room and his hands that go back to your body.

he walks on his knees to slot himself in between your legs again, lowering his body until his dick rests on your stomach. it is hard and heavy against your body, you can feel and see the leaking precum come from his tip. 

“who should it be?” eunseok grabs your ankles and puts them on either side of his head. “should i call someone?” eunseok asks playfully.

he revels in the way you pathetically shake your head and how your hand reaches between your legs to grab his dick. you desperately guide him to your entrance and wiggle down the bed so you’re closer to him.

“please help me.” you are desperate, already arching off the bed when eunseok slaps your folds with his dick. “i need it.” you whimper.

eunseok splays his hand across your stomach again, and he uses his other hand to guide himself into your cunt.

“who am i to deny a patient?” eunseok says, letting his tip poke at your entrance.

when eunseok slowly sinks in, both of you are silent. you could hear the clock ticking in eunseok’s room as both of your mouths opened in silent euphoria. a week felt like a century, and being sober made you feel everything. the way your walls relaxed as eunseok slowly pushed himself all the way in, the feeling of his hips kissing yours. you almost think you’re becoming drunk off him when he pulls out slowly just to go right back in even slower. eunseok kisses your calf and wraps his hand around your legs to keep them in place.

“i dreamt about this too.” eunseok murmurs.

he watches your chest move in tandem with his thrusts, how you hold one of your breasts in your hand. he wishes he had another hand, to give the other side of your chest attention too. eunseok instead grabs your stomach, enjoying the sight of your skin peaking through the gaps in his fingers.

“feel better yet?” eunseok asks from above you. 

he knows he should be nicer, but from his point of view he can’t stop himself from becoming cocky. he sees the furrow in your eyebrows and the way you bite you lip trying so hard to be quiet while you take all of him. eunseok teases you by drawing his hips back and thrusting into you, making you put your hand on the headboard again to steady yourself. you can open your eyes only for a second before closing them. 

“come closer.” you whine. 

when you pull at eunseok’s hand on your stomach he obeys immediately. he leans forward until the backs of your knees are on his shoulders. even from the stretch you still preen your neck to kiss eunseok. your soft lips push against his and your tongue goes into his mouth with fervor. you suck on his bottom lip and eunseok lets you. the same way he admired the marks on your stomach you admire looking at his swollen and glossy lips. eunseok presses his sweaty forehead against yours and stays there, trying to see all of the faces you make for him.

you run your hands through his hair and eunseok wonders if you can see the blush across his face in this dark room. he’s focused on hitting you as deep as he can, with slow thrusts that cause you to pause and whine in his face. eunseok brings his body closer to you, letting one of your legs fall from his shoulder so he can press his chest against yours.

“faster please.” you whisper against eunseok’s lips.

he nods and brings his hips back to thrust into you at a faster pace. one of your hands holds eunseok’s that’s planted in the mattress and the other holds your thigh close to your body. eunseok is able to pick up the speed fast, and he’s unrelenting even when your breathing starts to becoming hurried and your body starts squirming underneath him.

“where do you want it?” eunseok grunts. 

he can’t bring himself to be cocky anymore. he has to focus all of his energy in his hips and waiting fro your instruction on where he can cum.

your ankle digs into his back and you lift your hips to give him a new angle. 

“inside.” you laugh against eunseok’s lips at how ridiculous you sound. “that’s how i get cured, right?” you ask.

eunseok is the one reduced to nods now. he nods against your forehead before bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. his tongue runs across your lips before ever going into your mouth, and he presses his tongue against yours to taste you. his hips rut against yours, the sound of your skin slapping against eachother fills the room. eunseok moans into your mouth and you do the same, digging your ankle deeper into his back as he hits that same spot deep inside of you again and again.

“fuck.” eunseok pulls away from your lips. he can feel himself twitching around you, and he can feel your walls close around his dick to milk him. he continues to thrust into you slower and harder now, determined to give you every last drop. “take it.” he groans.

“give it to me.” you whimper underneath him. 

your back arches as far as you can into eunseok’s chest as your legs stiffen. your hips move on their own accord, matching eunseok’s stuttering hips. you two continue to get higher and higher of eachother, until eunseok lets your other leg fall from your shoulder to pull you close. he lifts your body from the bed and pulls you onto his lap, fucking up into you as you helplessly wrap your arms around him to stabilize yourself. you are a moaning mess now, no amount of pressure you apply to your lips could keep you from holding back. eunseok is the same, grunting and moaning into your ear as his hand grips your shoulder.

he keeps you in his lap for awhile, letting his softening dick twitch inside of you while your walls still pulse. when he guides you back to the bed he’s gentle, laying his body on top of yours to still be close to you.

eunseok pulls out of you and falls on the bed next to you. the both of you look at the ceiling, coming down from your shared high. it’s eunseok who turns first to kiss your cheek, but you’re the one that grabs his hand to bring him closer to you. you can feel yourself drifting off to sleep, maybe the best sleep you’ve had in weeks. eunseok doesn’t try to keep you awake to talk, instead he pulls you close and lets his slowing heartbeat lull you to sleep.

#requestz #01zfan: eunseok #eunseok smut #riize smut

[absurdthirst]

One Night in St. John's {Frankie Morales x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 15.3k

Warnings: Alcohol/drug use, infidelity, oral sex (female receiving), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dirty talk, regret, abusive relationships, emotional/physical abuse, isolation, baby trapping, domestic violence, threats of death, weapons, drugging, hostage situation, death by gun violence, PTS, shock, therapy, confessions, oral sex (male receiving)

Comments: Drunk and high, you and Frankie give into the desires you've kept hidden from one another. One night in St. John's, one brief moment in time in each other's arms. You go back to your lives, sure that it's causing Frankie to pull away from your team even more, but there's a more sinister and heartbreaking reason.

A/N: Domestic violence/abuse comes in all shapes, sizes and genders. If reading about an abusive relationship would be triggering, please do not read.

Co-written by @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Frankie Morales MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Your nerves are shot, hands shaking, your entire body shaking as you sit under the hot water as the dirt and blood swirls down the drain. You’re alive, although you could have been like Tom, wrapped up in a blanket and carried out from the mountains where he had been killed. You had carried his body, cried and grieved, now alone with your thoughts and they aren’t exactly the happiest. Lonely and hurt, you try to ignore the baggie you had in your bag, now sitting on the table out in your room. Trying to resist snorting the fine white powder to manage the pain, to forget. Salty tears mix with the water as you cry in your first shower since you had tried to steal from Lorea and had ended up running for your lives. 

Frankie sighs as he puts the phone down on the nightstand. He’d just spoken to Darcy who let him speak to Ava. The ten month old has no idea what he’s saying but he had to speak to his daughter. He had to speak to her after nearly fucking dying, after Tom died. He rubs his eyes and runs his fingers through his damp hair, feeling antsy and like a caged lion. He needs to get out of this damn room. He gets dressed and makes his way down to the hotel bar, ordering a whiskey as soon as he’s sitting down and he groans at the first sip he takes. 

“This seat taken?” You ask him and he looks at you, “you want a drink?” He asks and you nod so he gestures for the bartender to come over. You order your drink and turn to look at Frankie. He’s so handsome, even with exhaustion seeping deep into his bones, he makes your heart flutter but he has a girlfriend, he has a daughter. When you get your drink, you hold it up towards Frankie, “to Redfly.” He nods, clinking his glass with yours. Tears sting in your eyes when you look in the mirror behind the bar to you and Frankie, the realization that you came so close to death still weighing heavy. “That was a shit show, huh?” You joke softly, trying to conceal your watery eyes.

“Yeah.” Frankie blows out a breath and sighs, shaking his head. He wants to cry but he doesn’t feel like it will come out of him. Too used to repressing his feelings until he explodes. He feels it, itching under his skin, clawing to get out. “You doing okay?��� He asks gruffly, clearing his throat and motioning towards the bartender for another round.

You swallow down the lump in your throat and you shake your head. “I keep- all i can see when I close my eyes is Tom. Dead on that mountain. How it could’ve been all of us. Any of us. And Molly and the girls…they are going to be devastated. I feel so guilty. Like there was - we could’ve saved him.” You know that’s not possible, Tom got himself killed but you feel guilty for your captain getting killed on your watch. The bartender sets another whiskey down for Frankie and you turn to look at him, “I can’t - we nearly died.”

“We didn’t though.” Frankie insists, picking up his drink and nudging yours over in front of you. “Fuck I wish this was something stronger.” He grunts as he tilts his head back and throws back the shot. Feeling the burn of the alcohol as it slides down his throat. His life is in shambles, no one knows how bad it is, not even Benny and for a moment, he wishes it had been him on that mountain.

You pick up your drink and down it, needing to feel numb like he wants to. “I have…I have something stronger. In my room.” You confess, “it’s, uh, I picked it up when we were in the coke fields.” You confess, knowing you shouldn’t have grabbed the packet but it was right there and you didn’t know if you were going to live or die.

He had been tempted. Surrounded by all that cocaine, he had been sorely tempted to take some. To know you have some in your room makes his stomach twist and his craving get even stronger. “Fuck.” He stands up and reaches into his pocket for some cash. “What the fuck are we waiting for?” He asks you. “I want to fucking forget the last week and a half.”

You nod, standing up and you grab your room key, quickly making your way up to the third floor and you open your door, hearing him close it behind him and you grab the baggie, working fast to cut lines on the desk in the corner. Frankie rolls up one of the hundred dollar bills from the bag you grabbed from Lorea’s and you use your hotel room key. “Ladies first.” Frankie says, handing you the bill and you bend over, snorting the line and you shake your head at the rush you get immediately before you hand the bill to Frankie.

Anticipation curls in his stomach as he bends down. Blowing out a breath, he closes his mouth and snorts up the entire line quickly. Groaning and tossing his head back as the jolt to his system immediately slams into him and the euphoria washes over him. “Shit, shit.” He huffs, leaning down and doing another line in his other nostril before gasping and handing the bill back to you. “It’s fuckin’ pure.”

“Purest shit I’ve ever done. I, uh, I haven’t done this for years. Not since college.” You confess and bend over to do another line. The second hits you hard and you set the bill down as you wipe your nose, shifting to sit on the bed. “Shit. I feel…peaceful.” You sigh, your racing thoughts finally silent as you close your eyes, feeling the bed dip as Frankie sits down next to you.

“Only goddamn time I have peace.” Frankie hums, feeling the lovely floating sensation start to drift over him as his mind goes fuzzy and the smell of your shower gel seeps into his nostrils. His cock twitches and he thinks about how fucking beautiful you are. “Only time I get hard now too.” He blurts out, the intimacy in his relationship dead and buried, he had used to hide the fact that he couldn’t get it up for her anymore, able to fuck while high had been a good thing for him.

You open your eyes and frown when you look at him, “Darcy…she doesn’t - wow.” You finish lamely and clear your throat. “Sorry. That was-” He murmurs and you shake your head, reaching out to take his hand in yours. “It’s okay. Nothing leaves this room. It’s just the two of us. Whatever we say or do doesn’t leave here, okay?” You reassure him, wanting him to know he can trust you.

It’s on the tip of his tongue to tell you. To lay out everything that’s been happening and how miserable he is. Turning and looking into your concerned, beautiful eyes, he’s hypnotized by their color and depths. Not thinking about anything but you, he lunges forward and presses his lips to yours with a moan.

You respond, much to your shame, you respond and reach up to cup his cheeks. Your lips move against his and you pull back after a second. “Frank-” You murmur but he silences you with another kiss, not wanting to think about anything but you. You allow him to drag you down and you tangle your fingers in his hair as his tongue slides along your lips and your tongue meets his with a low groan.

He wants you, he’s always wanted you, but right now he feels like he’s going to die if he doesn’t touch you. His cock is already hard, throbbing as your tongue slides against his and he flips you onto your back and straddles you, pushing against your belly with his straining bulge. “Want you.” He manages as he pulls away to start biting and kissing along your jaw. “So fucking long. So beautiful.”

You can’t resist, fuelled by booze and coke, you can’t say no to the man you’ve been in love with for years. You couldn’t say anything when you served together and when you found out about Darcy and her being pregnant in the same sentence, you resigned yourself to being his friend. “Me too. Always wanted you. Fuck, Cat. I need you to - please. Fuck me.” You beg, reaching up to grab the back of his shirt, tugging on it and needing to feel his skin.

“Fuck, you’re so soft.” He marvels, stroking your sides and kissing your neck. “How are you so soft?” He’s imagined this thousands of times, sometimes when his hand is wrapped around his cock and sometimes when he was fucking Darcy. Luckily he had never moaned your name. Frankie kisses down your chest and circles your nipple with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth like a hungry baby.

You gasp and tangle your fingers in his hair, “Frankie.” You whimper when he bites down and he sucks where he bites. You wrap your leg around him and grind into him, pushing his bulge into your covered pussy and you moan in response.

He rocks his hips, shamelessly rutting into the hot core between your thighs. It feels better than he could have imagined and he’s not even inside you yet. He suckles until your nipple is swollen, moving over to the other breast and he knows he wants to bury his face in your cunt. “Take- take your fucking shorts off.” He growls, tongue dipping into your belly button as he moves lower.

Your heart beats out of your chest, already dripping with anticipation and you follow his growled demand without hesitation. You lift your hips as much as you can so you can take your shorts off after unbuttoning them and Frankie is impatient, reaching down to drag them off of your legs along with your panties, pushing your thighs apart when you are bare beneath him.

“Fuck.” He groans, seeing your wet folds and reaching out to spread them wide to expose your clit. “I’m so fucking hungry.” He lunges forward to slide his tongue through your folds and around your clit, pressing his nose to your mound with the enthusiasm of a starving man.

"Fuck!" You yelp, surprised at the ferocious way he buries his face into your cunt and you swear you nearly cum then and there when you look down and see his eyes are already black, pupils blown wide from the coke, and hungry. You moan and tug on his hair, "fuck, Frank - shit." You pant, lifting your leg up onto his shoulder.

It just makes him push deeper, sliding his tongue down to push up inside you. Loving the way your soaked walls clench around his tongue. He wraps his arms around your other thigh and pushes it out, opening you up more to his mouth. He would swallow you whole if he could. Cock throbbing in his jeans, grinding into the bed beneath him and swearing he could stay right here all night feasting on you.

"Oh God!" You cry, your head pressing into the mattress and you can't believe how good he feels, how good his tongue feels. Better than you've ever imagined and you've imagined it a lot. For years, you've wanted Frankie and now that you finally got him, you are breathless. "Shit. So good, baby. God, you're so good." You pant, getting closer as his nose presses against your clit.

He loves praise, soaks it up and is desperate for more. He moans into your folds and curls his tongue up inside you. Your fingers in his hair are magical and he hates pulling away for a second but he wants to suck on your clit.

  Your stomach twists as you get closer to cumming and his lips suck harder on your clit. "Fi-fingers. Need your fingers, baby." You plead and moan when his thick digits push inside of you. "Yesss." You hiss, squeezing your eyes shut and it doesn't take long for you to fall over the edge with a moan of his name.

As hard as he is, he wants to see you cum again. Needs to see it, to feel it. Your cum floods his mouth and it's like ambrosia. Making him moan as he laps it up and pumps his fingers into your grasping walls. Enjoying the squelch of your wetness around his fingers.

"Shit." You hiss as you are pushed into overstimulation but he doesn't stop. You moan his name again, a desperate plea for what, you aren't sure. You don't want him to stop but it's so intense. "Oh fuck." You moan, thighs starting to shake as he curls his fingers inside of you.

“Give me another.” Frankie demands, pulling away so he can swallow and then sucking your clit back into his mouth. It’s been so long since he’s wanted to pleasure someone he’s drunk on the sensation, greedy for more.

You gasp for air, every breath taken from you by his mouth and his fingers. "It's too much." You pant and Frankie growls, "another." 

You can't deny him, pushing through the overstimulation and falling over the edge to another orgasm. "F-Fr-" You try to get his name out but all you can do is squeak.

Frankie groans, working his mouth even harder as he watches you. Your entire body arches up and he feels the spurt of precum soak his boxers. Finding it to be a gorgeous sight as you gasp and writhe for him.

You collapse against the bed, eyes still closed as you try to calm down after the best orgasms you've ever had. "I wanna see you." You tell him, shifting out from under him and kneeling on the bed. He follows your orders and lays down, working on unbuttoning his pants and you shove them down his legs after he kicks off his shoes. Throwing them to the floor, you focus back on Frankie and see the bulge in his boxers, the dark look in his eyes, and the way his chest heaves. You reach up to hook your fingers in his boxers, pulling them down, and you moan at the sight of his hard cock. "Fuck, you're thick." You murmur, spitting into your hand then you wrap your fingers around him, marveling at the feel of the silky hot skin.

“Shit.” He hisses, rocking his hips up into your grip and groaning your name. He’s imagined you touching him, never quite able to imagine it as good as this. “Fuck, are you- what do you want?” He demands breathlessly. “I need you baby.”

“I want to - I want to ride you. I- I have an IUD. Please Frank. I need you inside of me.” You beg and he nods, leaning down to grab your arms so he can drag you up his body. You shuffle to straddle him, his cock between your folds as you grind down on him and the drugs combined with the high you get from Frankie has you feeling on top of the world.

“So goddamn beautiful.” Frankie groans, tearing up to press his lips to your shoulder. He should be desperate to get inside you, but he loves how you are rolling your hips over his cock. Holding tight to your back as he pulls you down and kisses along your shoulder.

You moan, turning your head so you can press your lips to his, not wanting to waste a second of this night together. He isn’t yours. Can never be yours. This is all you’ll have. You reach between you, gripping his cock and you lift up to position him at your entrance, slowly sinking down onto him and you whimper against his chin at the stretch.

“Holy fuck.” He pants, cock twitching and it’s all he can do to keep from rocking up into you. Trying to give you time to adjust. The Coke and the feeling of you are nearly making him black out from pleasure. “So good baby, fuck you are so tight and sweet.”

You exhale shakily, shifting to brace your hands on his chest as you take all of him. Your heart is pounding in your chest from the coke and the fact that it’s Frankie beneath you. “Feel so good, Frankie.” You whimper, caressing his chest as you give yourself a second before you start to move on top of him.

“So good, baby.” He groans. “I can’t believe that it feels so good. Move baby.” He begs you, fingers digging into your hips as he braces his feet in the bed.

You moan, nodding as you start to rock on top of him, lifting up until you can sink back down onto his cock. His thighs lift you so you can move forward and you grind onto his cock. “Fuck.” You pant, jaw dropping at the angle.

“That good, baby?” Frankie grunts. “Your little cunt is squeezing me.” His hands squeeze your hips, not slapping, he would never slap you. He groans when his words affect you and he squeezes your hips again. “You like that, baby girl? You like me telling you how tight your pussy is on my cock?”

You nod, speechless from the dirty talk. His rough voice sends shivers down your spine, and you move a little faster on top of him. "Shit. Yes. I do. I love it. I wanna - wanna hear more, Francisco." You demand softly, leaning down to kiss along his jaw.

“Fuck.” When Frankie is high, he’s more talkative, the thoughts inside his head just come pouring out of him easier than he would sober. “Always wanted to fuck you. Imagined it, dreamed of it, jerked off to the thought of it.” He admits with a dirty grin. His hand slides up to your breast and he squeezes it, rolling your nipple between his fingers. “So many nights. The entire time we served together, I wanted you.”

“Oh God.” Your stomach clenches at his dirty confession and you pant against his collarbone, clenching around him. “Me too. Shit, so many nights spent wishing you were in my bed. You were inside of me. Always knew it would be amazing. And it is.” You reveal, rocking back onto him, “it’s so good.”

“So good.” He groans in agreement. “You- I -“ he shakes his head. “Fuck me.” He begs, knowing that he can’t tell you that. Not with the way his life is. He can’t drag you into his mess, not when he doesn’t know how he’s getting out of it himself. Or if he’s getting out of it.

You reach for his hands, gripping them as you start to move faster on his cock. “Fuck baby. Oh God.” You pant, tits bouncing as you work yourself towards your orgasm as your knees dig into the mattress.

“That’s it baby, ride my cock.” Frankie groans. “Always- fuck, you’re better than my fantasy.” He praises, watching you and completely enthralled with the sight.

The awed look he gives you sends you over the edge, his eyes glassy and mouth open as he looks at you like you’re a goddess. It makes you cum and you clamp down on his cock with a strangled choke of his name, falling forward until your forehead is pressed against his. Body shaking above him and he thrusts up into you to help you prolong your high.

It’s the best sex he’s ever had, groaning your name as he watches you cum. It’s a vision that he would love to have burned in his brain. Rocking his hips up frantically as he chases his own end.

You try to grind back onto him, wanting him to cum inside of you. “Cum for me, Francisco. I want to feel you.” You beg, kissing along his neck, wanting to leave your mark but knowing you can’t.

“Fuck, fuck.” Frankie groans, unable to resist giving you what you want. Especially since it’s what he wants too. He thrusts up into you wildly, only making it another half dozen thrusts before he’s filling you, painting your walls with hot spurts of his cum.

You hum with satisfaction, shifting to press your lips to his. His tongue is harsh against yours as his hips slowly thrust into you as he rides his orgasm and you run your fingers through his hair as he fills you. After he stops, he rolls you onto your side and curls around you. You smile into his chest, closing your eyes as the high of the drugs and the sex courses through you. There’s so much you want to say but you can’t. You just have tonight. Tomorrow, you deposit the money and Frankie goes home to his family.

Frankie hums, grateful when you don’t want to talk. All he wants to do is hold you. Wrapping his arms around you and pulling you down on his chest as he closes his eyes. “Wanna sleep here.” He mumbles quietly.

You hum back, placing your palm on his chest to feel his heartbeat, reassured that he’s safe and alive. You kiss his Adam’s apple, “sleep, sweetheart. Tomorrow is gonna be messy.” You murmur, closing your eyes as exhaustion overwhelms you along with the crash from your high.

**** 

When Frankie wakes up, the light is starting to filter through the curtains and he’s sober. Realizing that he hadn’t been dreaming is both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him. He can’t believe that he got to touch you, although he feels bad because he cheated. He made you a cheater and that was worse. He shifts slowly, not wanting to wake you up until he is out of the bed. Grabbing his clothes and fleeing quietly.

When you wake up, the sheets beside you are cold and you squint, feeling that headache you get after drinking too much but now it’s a combination of booze and coke. You sit up and bite your lip after you shake off the haze of waking up. He left. You shouldn’t be upset about that. He has a family. Shit, you - he cheated and you cheated with him. Shame burns inside of you. He has a baby with Darcy, he - he has a partner and you cheated with him. You feel dirty, shifting out of bed and you get into the shower, desperate to wash off his touch, hating that you can still feel his lips on your skin. The thing you wanted forever makes you sick with disgust at yourself. You stay under the water until it goes cold and reluctantly dress to meet the boys to deposit the money that will make you all for the rest of your life’s. 

**** 

You watch Benny walk out of the room after giving his share to Redfly’s family and you know you have to do the same. Signing your name before you get up to follow the boys, your eyes meeting Frankie’s for a moment and he looks away. Your heart shatters but you’re reminded that you can’t tell anyone about last night.

Frankie frowns as he stares at the contract in front of him. It’s a lot of money. Money that he could use to leave Darcy. Get his pilot’s license back and leave the horrible relationship he’s in. Get custody of the baby, hopefully. Or at least not get fucked with visitation. It’s hard to not think about this, even though he knows that he should give the money to Redfly’s family. The man died. His kids deserve that money. Still he stares at the contract for far longer than he should before he crumples up the paper and signs the document to give the money away. Sadness and despair overwhelming him, even as he slaps Pope on the shoulder and ambles out of the room like the weight of the world isn’t on his shoulders.

You watch Frankie as you stand in the middle of the street, passers-by pushing past but you stare at Frankie, knowing this is it. He will go back to Darcy and who knows when you’ll talk to him next. He keeps to himself nowadays and even Santi has trouble trying to get hold of him. “You’ll need these.” Santi says as he hands everyone back their passports. “I guess I’ll see you all next at the funeral?” Will says and you nod, knowing Frankie can’t avoid that. “See you soon.” Will steps forward to hug you, kissing your cheek and Benny then Santi does the same. Next is Frankie and you struggle to maintain your composure as you hug him tight.

Frankie tries to hug you as quickly as possible but he can’t help but linger for just a moment. Clinging to you for a second as the dreams of the future, a future with you, slip away. “Well, I gotta get home.” He tells the group, not looking any of you in the eye. He nods and turns around to disappear into the crowd.

**** ]

It’s hard seeing Frankie again, all of you in dress uniform and you see Darcy holding Ava as she sits in a pew behind Molly and the girls. It’s hard to be around Frankie because he’s not even texted you since you’ve been back. Not that you expected anything of him when you got home but a check in would’ve been nice. You’ve texted him, asking him how he’s doing and you’ve been left on read. Your heart aches for Frankie but today, it grieves for Tom, your leader, and you focus on him instead of the man you yearn for.

Frankie doesn’t even dare look at all of you, knowing how pissed Darcy is that he didn’t come home with the money he had promised her when he had left. He knows she blames all of you for the fuck up in South America and why she cannot have a life of luxury. Instead, he focuses on the funeral, his part in the honor guard so he can finish up and leave. Darcy doesn’t want to stay past the burial.

When the service is over, everyone is heading to Molly’s house for the wake and you are confused when you arrive there after stopping for gas and don’t see Frankie or Darcy. “Where did Frankie go?” You ask Santi who sighs. 

“Darcy wanted to take Ava home and Frankie had to go too.” He explains and you frown, knowing it’s not like Frankie to leave early, especially when today is about Tom. 

**** 

“I still can’t believe you gave the money away.” Darcy shakes her head after putting Ava down for her nap. “You’re a fucking spineless bastard.” Darcy hisses at Frankie who stands there with his arms crossed, shoulders hunched. “You should’ve been selfish. For Ava. For me. I already bought a Louis Vuitton purse for my birthday because you promised you’d get me something to make up for being such a failure and getting suspended at work. I gotta take it back. You know how embarrassing that’s gonna be for me, baby?”

“I’m sorry, baby.” The apology is automatic, his heart starting to race as his pulse jumps up. “I’ll- I’ll pick up more hours.” He’s got part time work that’s been able to sustain them with his retirement and disability. “You don’t have to take it back, baby. You keep it.”

Darcy shakes her head, “no. I’ll take it back. I don’t need you telling me that we need to be budgeting the groceries. Honestly, you’re pathetic. Leaving your family for two weeks and you didn’t bring back anything to show for it.” Darcy scoffs and Frankie frowns, “I got seventeen grand.” Darcy snorts, “yeah? And where’s that gone? On trying to fight your suspension. When we met, I thought you were capable of looking after me. I thought you were gonna take care of me and our daughter but you’re a failure. How are you gonna make this up to me?”

Frankie swallows, hating how she continuously pokes and pushes him, grinding him into the dirt with her venom. “However you want me too, baby.” He placates, moving towards her automatically to wrap his arms around her. If she pushes him away, he knows he needs to just be quiet and let her vent her disappointment. But she would also accuse him of not caring if he didn’t make a move to comfort her, so he was picking one and seeing if it was the right move today.

Darcy lets him wrap his arms around her and she slides her hands down his back and under his uniform to pinch his side, making Frankie wince. “I don’t need your fucking comfort, Frank. I need you to do your job to provide for this family.” She hisses and pushes him away, “my parents told me to not have the baby. Didn’t think you were good enough for me and you know what? They were right.” She shakes her head and turns towards the counter to make herself a cup of coffee.

Frankie sighs, although he makes sure that she doesn’t hear it. That would cause another fight. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs. “I’ll make it up to you.” He promises. “I’ll get my license back and then we won’t have to worry about anything.”

Darcy snorts again, “you better otherwise me and Ava will be gone. I’ll move in with my parents.” She threatens and pours her coffee. After a few moments, she says your name, “did you see her? She looks like she’s put on weight. I don’t think anyone was fooled that her uniform still fits properly. It looked like she was about to burst out of it. No wonder she doesn’t have a boyfriend. No one's gonna wanna date the Pillsbury dough boy.”

Frankie frowns, looking at her back and wondering if she’s serious. His friend and teammate died and she’s commenting about your looks? You don’t look any different than the day you left the Army. “Her uniform was fine.” He tells her. “Nothing was ill fitting, she could pass inspection today.” He knows you haven’t gained any weight, but he can’t say that. The image of you riding him is a secret memory, one that he will think of often.

Darcy turns, staring at her partner, “really? She could pass inspection?” She mocks his words, “all the others were thinking it. She’s a fatso, Frank. And she shouldn’t have gone with you all to South America. Trying to run with the boys. I bet that’s why Tom got killed, because you were all running around trying to protect her. She’s useless. She is a military groupie gone too far and she thinks she’s capable but she put you all in danger.” Darcy gives her opinion without any remorse, speaking her mind as she always does and she turns back to pour creamer in her coffee.

“She didn’t do that.” Frankie snorts, shaking his head. “You need to stop fucking talking about her like that. She’s got just as many medals for courage and valor as Ben, she’s not a military groupie, she’s a veteran and deserves respect.” He snaps, pissed off that she constantly belittles your accomplishments.

Darcy moves so fast he doesn’t even register that she’s slapped him until he sees her hand lowering from his face. The sting comes a few seconds later and he realizes he went too far in his defense of you. “Don’t you ever - ever - defend that fucking bitch in my house, okay? She has always pined after you and you disrespect me by giving her compliments? No, Frank. No. You fucking apologize right now to me.” She demands, crossing her arms.

His eyes are wide, unable to believe that she just hit him. She’s shoved him, slapped at his chest but she’s never hit him in the face. “No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not apologizing for her being a veteran.” He tells her, his stomach churning and twisting in anxious nausea. Fearful of what she might do again, but still not ready to talk bad about you. You’ve never done anything wrong to her, until this trip, but Darcy doesn’t know that.

Darcy doesn’t hesitate, turning back to her coffee and she grabs the spoon she has in the mug, turning back to Frankie and pressing the spoon to his neck. He winces but she grabs the back of his neck to keep it pressed to his skin. “Apologize. To. Me.” She demands, pressing the spoon harder into his neck.

Frankie hisses, the hot spoon burning his skin but he almost doesn’t apologize. Deciding that he’s had enough of her shit until he hears Ava start to cry, obviously not wanting to go down for her nap. With the mood she’s in, Darcy would take it out on his daughter and he can’t have that. “I’m sorry.” He chokes out. “I’m sorry, baby, I- I don’t know what I was thinking.” He tells her breathlessly. “The funeral, losing Tom, it’s fucking with me. I’m not thinking straight.”

Darcy pulls the spoon away from his neck, setting it down and reaching up to cup his cheek. "It's okay, baby. I know it's been stressful. For me, too. I love you. You know that, right?" She coos, leaning in to kiss the burn she left on his skin.

Frankie shudders but he makes himself wrap his arms around her again and snuggle into her. “I know. You’re the only one who could put up with me.” It’s a statement that she’s said over and over again and he is starting to believe it.

“That’s damn right.” She chuckles, “I better go check on Ava.” Darcy says, leaning back with a smile at her partner and she walks out of the kitchen to check on the crying baby. Frankie exhales shakily, leaning against the kitchen counter. He has faced combat in the most dangerous areas in the world, nearly died from bullets flying past him, and flown a helicopter under high stress but Darcy seems to crumble his strength. Her power over him stems from keeping Ava safe and his morality. He would never hit a woman so he takes what she does to him. He doesn’t want to fight. He’s so tired of fighting. 

**** 

It’s been weeks since you heard from Frankie and the guilt is eroding your insides. It’s haunting you and you don’t know how to handle it. You’ve never been a cheater and not hearing from Frankie has you worried that you’ve ruined your friendship. You decide to send him a text, saying hi and asking how he is.

Frankie’s phone is constantly being checked by Darcy since his outburst. Nearly every night and he has even stopped talking to Ben as much as he used to. Not wanting to rehash every comment he made to his buddy or what his mentality was. When he gets the text from you, he panics and nearly deletes it, but then it would cause a complete shitstorm. Instead he doesn’t even open his messages and waits for Darcy to look through it.

“Why is she texting you?” Darcy asks, pausing the tv and grabbing Frankie’s phone. “She is asking how you are. Why would she ask that? Have you been talking to her behind my back? Have you - explain this, Frank. Now.” She says, shoving the phone towards him.

“What? No! No, I haven’t been talking to her!” Frankie defends. “I- she’s probably checking in with everyone. Tom died, Darc. It - it’s heavy shit. We all blame ourselves.” He quickly rationalizes. “I’m not talking to her, you told me not to and I’m - baby, I’m not going to jeopardize my relationship with you.” He tells her, reaching out to rub her arm.

Darcy shrugs off his touch, “don’t fucking lie to me!” She shouts, despite Ava being asleep. “She’s a whore. Trying to take you away from me. I see the way she looks at you. She wants to tear our family apart and you are letting her do it. You never touch me. We don’t have sex. It’s her, isn’t it?” Darcy cries, starting to sob.

“No, no baby.” Frankie shakes his head and wonders if she suspects something. Guilt and worry curling in his stomach. “No, you told me that I was treating you like my sex toy, I - I didn’t want you to think that’s all I wanted from you.” It was ironic when he used to want sex that she would complain, now he doesn’t even ask and she complains. “Only you, baby.”

Darcy sniffs, wiping her eyes, “yeah?” She asks and Frankie nods. “Good. I Don’t want you talking to her.” She narrows her watery eyes and shifts to sit beside him once more. She grips his chin and leans in to press her lips to his. “You’re mine. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t.” He can’t. She reminds him everyday and for the hundredth time since he came back, he wishes he had been the one killed. If it weren’t for Ava, he would have left her, long ago. But he knows she will never let him see his daughter again. “I won’t talk to her.” He promises quietly, mourning the loss of all of his friends since he has been with her. He will end up completely alone.

“Good.” She kisses him again, letting go of his chin and she settles in to watch the tv again. “You’re so good to me, baby.” She coos, sliding her hand down his chest to play with the buttons of his shirt, “makes me wet when you do what I want.”

Shit. He knows she wants sex now, especially since she’s brought it up. 

“Yeah?” Frankie grunts, capturing her hand and sliding it down and onto his thigh. “Let me go pee, baby.” He asks her. “That way we don’t have to worry about anything when I take you to bed.”

Darcy nods, biting her lip as she smirks and watches him go into the bathroom. Frankie locks the door behind him and braces his hands on the sink, looking into the mirror. He doesn’t want to have sex with her but he has no choice. If he doesn’t, she will hurt him again, either emotionally or physically and his biggest fear is her hurting Ava. He will take every slap and pinch she gives him if his daughter is safe. 

He finds the baggie he has hidden under the towels and in the linen closet. Working fast, he puts some onto the back of his hand and snorts it, wiping his nose. It’s enough to numb him to do what he needs to do, his thoughts drifting to you and how you looked riding him. He sniffs and hides the baggie again, splashing water on his face before he heads into the bedroom to do what he needs to do. 

**** 

“Is Frankie coming?” You ask Santi who glances at his watch. 

“He didn’t respond.” He says and you frown. No one has heard from or seen Frankie for weeks since you returned from South America and you don’t want to see him. He’s ignored you since you parted ways and you’re hurt. You thought your friendship would survive but he refuses to even text you back.

Frankie had barely been able to convince Darcy that if he didn’t show up to Benny’s fight that it would look strange. He had promised her he would just go to the fight, immediately coming home and he would have one beer. Nothing more. And he wouldn’t talk to you. Frankie shakes his arms and then wipes his hands on his jeans as he walks in, nervous about seeing everyone. The bruises on his sides twinge, reminding him of the promise he had made to behave.

Your eyes widen when you see Frankie sit down, shocked that he made it when Pope didn't think he would. His eyes meet yours after he greets everyone with a nod and you offer him a small smile that he returns until it drops, his eyes widening slightly before he turns his head away from you. Your heart twists with that and you wonder why he's actively avoiding you. He clearly regrets that night and now, so do you. Frankie's phone buzzes and he pulls it out of his pocket to see a text from Darcy. ‘Remember, one drink baby. Don't talk to her. Don't linger. I want you home as soon as it ends otherwise I won't be happy. Love you.’

Frankie swallows harshly and stows his phone, leaning over to Pope. “Gotta leave after the fight.” He yells over the crowd. “Baby’s not feeling good.” He lies, knowing no one would blame him for that. The fact that you lean in and he’s close to touching you makes him jerk back and sit straight, sure that Darcy would catch your perfume if he touched you, even innocently.

Darcy texts Frankie several more times throughout the fight, even asking him to take a photo of it to prove where he is. It's strange because she never accused him of cheating until he came back from South America. Maybe something changed, maybe he changed. He doesn't know but he concentrates on Benny and cheers him when he wins. "I gotta go. Tell Benny congrats." Frankie says as he slaps Santi on the shoulder and he looks at you with those beautiful brown eyes. "See you later." He offers you a small smile then rushes off before the crowds try to leave and you frown, turning back to Pope.

 "Something isn't right with him." You assess and Santi nods, squeezing your shoulder until you focus on Benny as he approaches with blood smeared on his face from a broken nose but a wide grin from his win.

“Where’s Fish going?” He had seen his friend in the crowd as he was in the ring. He frowns slightly when he realizes that Frankie isn’t just going to the beer stand for another brew. 

“He had to go, the baby isn’t feeling good.” Pope tells him with a frown. “He told me to tell you congrats on your win.” 

Benny huffs and takes the towel that Will tosses him to wipe his face. “Something’s wrong with him. He’s not answering my texts, like- at all.”

“Have you spoken to him?” Will asks you, knowing you and Frankie have always been especially close. 

You shake your head, “I’ve texted him but I get left on read. I don’t know what’s going on. I- I am worried about him.” You confess and the boys nod. 

**** 

“What took you so long?” Darcy asks as she stands in the hallway. 

Frankie barely gets a chance to shrug off his jacket before she’s on him. “I hit all red lights, baby.” He explains and Darcy shakes her head. 

“It was her. Wasn’t it?” She accuses, “you fuck her in the bathroom? Mind you, you wouldn’t be that late coming home. You’ve never had the stamina, have you?” She laughs cruelly.

Frankie’s shoulders slump but he doesn’t rise to the bait, knowing it would just start a vicious fight. “No babe, I left as soon as the fight was over. I just got caught up at the lights.” He knows that he’s going to get slapped again. Since the other day, she’s slapped him on the cheek whenever she gets mad. Making him feel even more ashamed every time he thinks of hitting her back. Becoming the monster he’s always been afraid that he is.

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” She surges forward to slap him and grips his chin, leaning in. “You even smell like cheap perfume. I can’t believe you.” She lowers her hand, “I give you everything. Sacrifice my body to give you a child. Give you a home to return to and you want to throw it all away for some whore who could never love you like I can.”

“I swear to you, Darcy.” Frankie whines, nearly flinching when she moves again. “I didn’t do anything, I sat by Pope. Maybe he’s seeing a new girl, I don’t know. I came straight home.”

Darcy stares at him, her eyes narrowed. “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.” She says and spins on her heels, making her way back into the bedroom and she shuts the door, effectively locking him out of his room. Frankie looks down at his hands, shaking from both anxiety and anger. He hates Darcy but he can’t leave, his daughter isn’t safe around her. The other day Frankie found Ava gripping a knife and Darcy laughed and said it was nothing, she wants her to learn how to use utensils to be a proper lady. He strips down to his boxers and lays on the sofa, wishing he could escape this situation and keep his daughter safe but no one would believe him. 

**** 

It’s been a few days since Benny’s fight and the guilt of sleeping with Frankie is becoming too much. Darcy posted some photos of Ava and Frankie on her Facebook page with them out for brunch - her new designer bag on display - and you felt the heavy pit of guilt in your belly. You have to tell her and you’ll tell her it’s all your fault. Frankie will be at work so you make your way over to his house, ringing the doorbell and shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other as you wait for Darcy to answer the door.

Darcy huffs, pushing herself off the couch with an annoyed grunt. “Hold on!” She grumbles as she walks over to the front door and opens it. Annoyed and immediately glaring when she sees you at the door. “What the fuck do you want?” She hisses. “Frankie doesn’t want to talk to your pathetic ass, so do us both a favor and fucking leave him alone, okay?”

Your eyes widen and you know she has never liked you but her attitude takes you back. “I, uh, I know you don’t want to talk to me but I need to tell you something. Please. I, uh, I need to get it off of my chest.” You tell her and she crosses her arms, scoffing but allowing you to continue. “I slept with Frankie. In St Johns. We, uh, we were high and had a few drinks so we weren’t thinking straight and I’m so sorry Darcy. I wanted to tell you because you deserve to know and I can’t keep this secret any longer. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.” You admit and she chuckles, “every cloud.” Her comment makes you frown and you are confused, “you aren’t mad?”

Darcy snorts and shakes her head, “I knew that Frankie fucked you.” She lies with a nasty smirk on her face. “A pity fuck, that’s what he called it when he told me about it.” She shrugs slightly. “You know men, if a whore is gonna throw it at them, they’ll take it. Thank God you didn’t give him something, but he much prefers my pussy over yours. Said he can’t even look at you now, so disgusted with the thought of you naked.” She chuckles evilly again. “Might want to lose a few pounds.”

You feel your eyes sting and your stomach twist. Hearing what Frankie said about you makes you feel sick. Darcy could be making it up but why would she lie? She knows about what happened. 

“He said you were the worst sex he’s ever had. It was the adrenaline from surviving, he told me. He hasn’t talked to you because he didn’t want to embarrass you. You need to go. He’s my boyfriend. The father of my child. He’s mine. He belongs to me.” She says and you swallow down the lump in your throat, uneasy with her words but she’s not wrong. 

“Yeah. Uh, I- I’ll go. I wanted to tell you because I thought you deserved to know and, um, yeah. Bye.” You choke and she waves at you as you make your way down the driveway to your car. Pulling away from the curb, tears streaming down your cheeks and you curse that night, you curse Frankie Morales. Your heart breaks and you need to take some time to get over that asshole. He’s with Darcy and he loves her. 

**** 

“Baby, I’m home.” Frankie calls out and comes in to find Darcy sitting on the sofa, “come here baby.” She coos and he sets his stuff down before sitting on the sofa next to her. She leans in to kiss him and Frankie nearly flinches. “I missed you today.” She coos, caressing his cheek. 

“I missed you too.” He lies, “where’s Ava?” He asks and Darcy explains that she is at her parents’ house. 

“I wanted a romantic night in with you.” She says and Frankie feels repulsed but what can he do? “So…” Darcy trails off and grips his chin, “when were you gonna tell me you fucked the whore in St John’s?” She asks him, her eyes hardening.

“What?” Frankie shakes his head, immediately denying it. She’s been accusing him of cheating since he got back from South America. “Baby, why do you keep saying that?” He demands, making her squeeze his cheeks even harder. “The whore told me herself, Frank.” She spits, the spittle flying into his face and making him cringe. His heart sinks but Darcy keeps talking. “Bitch came to my house, wanted to ‘confess’ because she felt so guilty. She should, spreading her legs for you when she knows you have me, have Ava.” Frankie starts to shake, knowing that Darcy will punish him, badly, for you showing up and telling her what happened.

“You lied to me, Frank. Over and over. I’ve done so much for you. Sacrificed so much for you and this is how you repay me? By fucking the woman you’ve been in love with for years?” She hisses and Frankie shakes his head. “No use denying it. I know you love her. I’ve seen the way you look at her. You’ve never looked at me like that. I knew you would leave me for her so I decided to take action. Poked holes in the condoms we used until I got pregnant. Wanted to make sure you were mine.”

Frankie gasps, nearly choking on his own breath at the knowledge that she had baby trapped him. “You-“ He growls, his head snapping to the side when she slaps him. 

“Don’t you fucking say a word, you cheating bastard!” She screams, her voice breaking because of how high it gets. “You humiliated me! All your bastard friends know, laughing at how you banged your whore.” This time, her fist is closed when she hits him, punching him in the jaw and Frankie grabs her hand. 

“Stop fucking hitting me!” He shouts.

She screams, wrenching her hand away and she stands up. “That’s it. I don’t know if this shit will happen again. It can’t happen again. I’m gonna invite her over here. Gimme your phone.” She orders and he shakes his head. She sees his phone on the kitchen counter, rushing over to pick it up and Frankie tries to follow her but she’s quick to grab a knife from the counter, aiming it at him and he knows he could take her down but not without hurting her.

“Darcy!” He barks, jumping out of the way of the knife and back several steps. “Are you fucking crazy?” He asks, watching the knife carefully as she spins around again and looks like she wants to murder him. “Put the knife down.”

She shakes her head and grabs his phone, texting with one hand to bring up your name and text an invite over to the house, she hits send and tosses the phone across the counter. "She'll come. I know she will. Fucking pathetic bitch can't leave you alone." She scoffs, waving the knife again. "And you're gonna let me talk to her." She laughs manically, setting the knife down and opening the drawer. Before she had Ava, Darcy was a nurse so it wasn't hard for her to procure what she needed. She grabs the syringe as Frankie approaches to try and get the knife away from her and she is quick to stick the needle in him, pressing down on the needle to push the sedative into Frankie's bloodstream. She wants him to watch you suffer but she knows he won't allow it so she needs him to be restrained.

****

Being drugged is nothing like getting high. Frankie groans, head pounding and his mouth feels dry. Trying to move his arms, he can’t and he tries harder, feeling the resistance that forces his eyes open.

“You’re awake. Good. She’s on her way.” Darcy reveals and Frankie shakes his head, trying to speak but he’s still lethargic. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna take care of this. You’ll never truly love me until she’s out of the way. I’m gonna do what needs to be done.” She promises and picks up the gun she had taken from Frankie’s gun safe. She knows the password is Ava’s birthday so she was able to get into it.

“D-Dar-“ Frankie’s tongue is heavy and his mind is so jumbled from the drugs she had pumped into his system. He doesn’t want this, horrified that you might be killed because of his mistakes. He shakes his head again, trying desperately to think of a way out of this. His hands are bound, he’s zip tied to a kitchen chair. “D-don’t.” He croaks out.

You frown when you receive the text. Confused about Frankie’s invite to his house and the wording isn’t like the man you’ve known for years. You know something is wrong and you want to find out. Especially since Darcy had told you what Frankie had said. You get into your car and make your way over to Frankie’s house. Parking down the street, you sneak around the house and your eyes widen when you look into the house and see Frankie tied to a chair, and Darcy walking around with a gun in her hand. “Shit.” You curse, knowing you have to protect him and yourself and especially Ava. You step back from the house and call the police, explaining the situation, and after you hang up, you exhale shakily, anxious to keep Frankie safe.

“Darcy, think of Ava.” Frankie begs, the drugs wearing off and he is panicked. “You won’t get away with it. You’ll be in jail.” While he would love to be away from her, he is trying to keep her from killing you. “We’ll move.” He promises. “Sell the house and move across the country. Away from everything and start fresh.”

Darcy scoffs, "I will get away with it because you're going to help me deal with her after. Even if we moved across the world, she'd still be in your fucking mind. You won't forget about her. You'll still be tempted and I won't allow it. I can't. You're mine. You belong to me." She growls, fingers adjusting around the gun. 

Outside, the police arrive quietly, pulling up in their SUVs and you meet them to explain what's going on. "I think she's going to kill him. I think she's gonna try to kill me." You explain and the police officers nod, speaking into their radios.

Inside, Frankie is still trying to convince Darcy. “Baby, no. It was a mistake.” He lies, knowing that his time with you was the best he’s ever had. “I had done some Coke, just to- just to forget the image of Tom’s brains splattered on the fucking rocks.” He tells her. “I didn’t realize what I was doing and then I left, I didn’t talk to her. I haven’t had anything to do with her.”

Darcy shakes her head and aims the gun at him, her anger getting the best of her, “you’re a fucking liar. I know you love her. I know you love her more than me and if she was gone, you could love me like that. I want you to love me like that. Don’t lie to me. I know you want her. Have always wanted her.” Darcy shouts, just as the front door flings off of its hinges and the officers yell at Darcy to drop the weapon and get down on the ground.

Frankie shouts, begging her to put the gun down. Knowing they will kill her if she so much as twitches wrong. Not wanting Ava to deal with the fact that her mother was killed when she’s older. Darcy screams, incoherently and spins around on Frankie. “You bastard! You called them!” Despite the fact that there was no way he could have called the police. He had been tied up. 

“Darcy, no!” The shots echo in the house, deafening him and he squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the pain to start where she shot him.

The bullet flew into the kitchen cabinet behind him and the other shots were the police taking down Darcy. Yelling fills the house as the officers rush forward, kicking the gun out of Darcy’s hand and checking her pulse. “We need an EMT. Now.” He says and speaks into his walkie. 

“Is she dead?” Frankie gasps as the officer comes towards him, pats him down before he lets him go. 

“Yes sir. She was a threat and she had a weapon.” He says and Frankie exhales shakily. 

“Frankie! Frankie!” You shout, pushing into the house despite the officers telling you to stay put. You run over to Frankie, cupping his cheeks, “are you okay?”

“I- no,” Frankie pants, staring at Darcy’s crumpled body and closes his eyes. “She was gonna- she was gonna kill you.” He manages before he lowers his head and tries to keep from sobbing, relieved that you are here and safe.

Your eyes widen, “kill me? Because we - oh God.” You choke, putting it all together when she had Frankie tied up and the gun in her hand. “Shit. She wanted to kill me.” You whisper and the police officers come over to escort you and Frankie outside and they take Frankie aside to take his statement but he wants you to stay with him. Reluctant to have you out of his sight, you stand beside him as he starts to give his statement.

Frankie starts to tell them everything. The abuse, the escalating violence. He pulls up his shirt to expose the bruises. How erratic Darcy had been acting, although he doesn’t mention the trip to South America, just that things had gotten worse since he had come back from out of town. He hates it, feeling humiliated as the police look at him first with disbelief and then pity as he continues to tell them about being abused by his girlfriend. He can’t look at you right now, afraid you would be disgusted with him for not manning up like Darcy always told him to do.

You feel sick. Hearing what Darcy did to Frankie has you wanting to scream and cry and make the world burn. You want to go and get a gun and kill Darcy again, just for the satisfaction of seeing her suffer. Tears sting in your eyes and the officer takes his statement and tells Frankie he can’t stay in the house so you wipe your cheeks and say that Frankie can stay with you. You turn to look at him, hands reaching out but pulling back in case he doesn’t want to be touched. “Frankie. I- I’m so sorry. I- I should’ve known. I should’ve helped you. I - shit. You - the ways she’s hurt you.” You choke, wishing you could go back in time and keep him safe from Darcy.

“No.” Frankie shakes his head. “She- she would have hurt Ava.” He tells you breathlessly, trying to keep his emotions bottled up. “They- they never would have given me custody. I would- I had to protect her. If she was hitting me, she wasn’t hitting our little girl.”

You can tell Frankie is on the edge and you want him to be safe before the emotions hit him finally. “Come on, let’s go back to my place. Where’s Ava?” You ask with wide eyes, worried that the little girl is in the house still. 

“She’s at Darcy’s parents house. They - oh God. I gotta tell them - Darcy is dead.” He says with a whisper and he hates the fact that he’s happy about that for himself but not for Ava. “She’s safe for tonight. You’re in no state to be around her. Come to mine and you need to sleep.” You say, grabbing your keys from your pocket and guiding him up the street while the police handle his house.

“I don’t- I tried.” Frankie rambles as you steer him towards your car and open the door for him. “I stopped talking to everyone, stopped doing anything that would set her off.” He doesn’t understand why she hated him so much. Was he just that horrible? “Nothing- I failed at everything. I was- wasn’t good enough.”

“Frankie.” You shake your head as he gets into the car, “this isn’t your fault. Darcy was an abuser. You aren’t to blame for how she treated you. You are a good man. She - she was wrong. She abused you.” You whisper, a tear escaping your eye as you look at his distraught face.

“Poor Ava.” He bites his lip and closes his eyes tight, trying not to cry. “She- she’s gonna grow up with me and I’m gonna fuck her up. I - she always told me I was useless.”

You kneel down beside the car, “can I touch you?” You ask, wanting to hold his hand and he nods. “Francisco. You are the best father. You’re a good man. You’re not going to fuck Ava up. Darcy would have. She would’ve manipulated her like she did you. You are going to get through this. It’s gonna take a while but you’ll be strong for Ava. You can do this. I promise you.” You squeeze his hand, hating how broken he looks.

“Are you sure?” Frankie asks quietly, clinging to your hand. “I- I have to admit something.” He tells you. “I had been thinking that I should have been the one to die on that mountain. That way it would be over for me.” He sees the horror on your face. “But you- that night- it’s how I’ve been keeping sane lately. Remembering you, that night.”

You want to sob then and there, hearing that Frankie wanted to die because of Darcy. It makes you even angrier but you control yourself and place your hand over his holding yours. “Darcy has hurt you and you need to heal from that. Ava loves you. The boys love you. I love you. You’re so loved and we need you, Frankie. She’s gone and you’re still here. It will take time but you’ll be what Ava needs.” You assure him.

“How could I let it happen?” He asks seriously. “I’ve fucking killed people, and my girlfriend was abusing me?” He sounds bewildered because he is unable to rationalize that in his mind. “I don’t- I didn’t stop it, I just- I guess I am less of a man.”

You shake your head, “you didn’t stop it because of Ava. Because you are a good man and you didn’t want to hurt Darcy even though she was hurting you. You’re not less of a man. You were manipulated and abused. Mentally controlled. Verbally and physically abused. Sweetheart, this isn’t your fault.” You promise him, “this isn’t your fault.”

Frankie sighs, feeling exhausted. “I couldn’t let her kill you.” He admits quietly. “I- I almost hit her, but she knocked me out with something.” He looks into your eyes. “Can you-? I just want to get out of here. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

You nod, letting go of his hand and you make your way around the car to get in the driver's seat. You start the engine and make your way down the street past the police cars and the black van so you can get Frankie somewhere safe. He’s quiet for the drive and when you pull up on your driveway, you cut the engine and look at him, “do you want something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.” He murmurs quietly, looking at the front of your place. He honestly wants to shower until his skin is red and then sleep for the next year. “Can- can I shower?” He asks, turning his head quickly and looking at you with wide eyes. “I- I need to feel clean.”

“Of course you can.” You hate that he asks you like that. Like you’re going to slap him for inconveniencing you. “Come on.” You say and open the car door, moving fast to unlock your home so he can get comfortable. “You know where the guest room is. You can stay as long as you like. There’s fresh towels and I think I have a pair of your sweats from when you stayed over a few years ago when you were having your house painted.” You say and he nods, making his way to the bathroom. When he shuts the door, you allow the tears to fall. How did you not see this? How did you let him be abused by Darcy? Why didn’t you check on him more? You feel incredibly guilty.

Inside the bathroom, Frankie turns on the shower and sits on the toilet seat. Shell-shocked and unable to believe what happened. Having a small breakdown when he imagines what could have happened if the police hadn’t come and you had walked into his house. If Darcy had killed you. He slaps his hand over his mouth, starting to sob and trying to keep it quiet.

You wipe your eyes and splash your face with water. You know you didn’t have a clue about the abuse Frankie was facing and you wonder if your presence triggered her or if you made it worse in some way. Her words when you went to tell her about you and Frankie ring in your ears when you remember how vehemently she declared Frankie to belong to her. You wish you had seen the signs. You have to be strong for Frankie though.

Eventually, Frankie climbs into the shower and nearly burns his skin off, scrubbing harshly with the soap and rag to feel clean again. If the tears mix with water and slide down the drain undetected, he doesn’t acknowledge them. Waiting until the water runs icy cold before he turns it off and steps out to wrap a towel around his waist. The bruises are visible. Some fresh and dark purple, others a sickly green and yellowish, making him grimace in the mirror as he traces them before turning away and opening the door. Grateful that you have given him a place to stay tonight.

You look up when Frankie exits the bathroom and comes into the living room with the towel wrapped around his waist and you see the bruises. You choke on your breath, tears in your eyes and you stand up to walk over to him. “Can I- oh God. Frankie.” You sob, reaching up to gently wrap your arms around him and you feel the guilt almost suffocate you.

“I’m okay.” He’s not, but he will be. Overwhelmed by the fact that he is free, he wraps his arms around you and crushes you against him, burying his face into your neck. “Thank you.” He whispers. “For being here.”

“Always, sweetheart. I’m always here for you.” You promise, sniffing as you run your fingers through his hair. “You’re okay.” You echo, “You’re safe.” You promise and you caress his neck. “Why don’t you get some sleep?” You murmur, knowing he must be exhausted. 

“I don’t want to be alone.” He whispers and you hum, “you can stay with me. If that’s okay?”

“Please?” It’s pathetic and he can hear Darcy’s voice in his head, reaming him for needing you to sleep beside him, but he tries to ignore that. Sighing softly in relief when you take his hand and guide him towards your bedroom. He needs to be near you, to know that you are okay and that he is safe. It was another reason he had gone with you that night you were together. He had been terrified it had been you on that mountain and then relieved that you were still with him.

“I have your sweats. I’m gonna get ready for bed. I’ll be five minutes, okay?” You ask and he nods. You caress his back and make your way into your bathroom, getting ready for bed. Once you’re in your tank top and shorts, you shut the door behind you and see that Frankie is already in bed. You turn off the lamp and slide under the covers, wrapping your arms around him. “Goodnight Frankie.”

Frankie sighs, relaxing when he wraps his arms around you. Closing his eyes and pressing his nose into your hair. “Goodnight, and thank you again.” He squeezes you tight and settles into the bed, holding you close.

**** 

It’s been six months since the night Darcy tried to kill you and Frankie has been going to therapy. He is in a much better place and is a loving father to Ava. During his therapy sessions or other appointments, you look after Ava. Darcy’s parents were ashamed of their daughter and her abuse, they have been giving Frankie some space until he is ready to have them back in Ava’s life. 

You look up as Frankie comes into the house and Ava rushes over to him, “dada! Dada!” She cries and he bends down to pick her up, kissing her cheek. 

“She’s been a good girl?” He asks you and you stand up from the rug scattered with toys. 

“She always is.” You coo at Ava. “You want some coffee?” You ask and he nods, holding Ava on his hip. He moved a few weeks after that night, unable to live in that house full of horrid memories and his new place is cozy enough for him and Ava. He got his license reinstated and the boys have been supporting him through everything. Things are finally starting to look up as Frankie is able to process what happened to him at the hands of Darcy. You quickly prepare the coffees and get some milk for Ava along with one of the cookies she loves and she rushes over to eat the cookie on the rug, making you chuckle. “She can never sit still. Just like her father.”

“That’s because if I’m still, I’m gonna fall asleep.” Frankie jokes, smiling at the sight of Ava happily eating a cookie and watching TV. She hadn’t asked about Darcy much, and seemed to accept that momma had gone to Heaven and she wouldn’t see her anymore. In fact, he had often wondered if she had started being mean to Ava because the young girl seems so happy. “You are so good with her.” He tells you, taking the cup of coffee with an appreciative smile. “I don’t think you know how much I owe you.”

“Nothing. You owe me nothing. There’s nowhere else I’d be. I - I love Ava and you needed help. I couldn’t let you do this all on your own after dealing with Darcy. I wanted to help you because I love you both. So much.” You smile and pick up your own cup of coffee. Telling Frankie you love him has become second nature but the true depth of your feelings has never become a subject you’ve been brave enough to broach, especially since he’s been healing physically and mentally from Darcy’s abuse.

Frankie’s stomach flips and he takes another sip of his coffee. You’ve said you love him almost every day and you don’t even know how much it means to him. He’s talked about you in therapy, about his feelings for you and the therapist has encouraged him to start talking to you about them. About how he’s always been in love with you, how he’s still in love with you. That despite what Darcy put him through, he would like to see what could happen with you in a relationship. “I love you too.” He tells you honestly.

His words make your heart thump and your eyes meet his over your cups of coffee, but you don’t get your hopes up that he means he’s in love with you. He’s been through so much. The last thing he probably wants is to get into a relationship. He needs time to heal and to ensure Ava is happy and safe. “I know you do.” You tease softly, “it’s the pasta dish I make, isn’t it?”

“It’s the fact that I’ve always been in love with you.” He admits, setting his coffee mug down and shoving his hands in his pockets. His eyes are searching yours and he’s reminding himself that you wouldn’t react harshly, even if you didn’t feel the same way. “I don’t know what you want. Or how you feel, but Dr. Thomas said that I should talk to you.”

Your eyes widen as you realize he’s serious and you set your coffee cup down so your shaking hand doesn’t spill it everywhere. You stare at him for a moment from the other side of the kitchen and you bite your lip. “You want to know how I feel? I’ve been in love with you since we first met. That night we all went out to the bar to get to know each other and you bought that hat off of some guy in the parking lot. I have been in love with you every day since then and I’ll be in love with you every day from now on. I love you, Frankie. With everything I am.”

He closes his eyes, nodding. As he absorbs the idea that you feel the same way that he does. Feeling the warmth settle in his chest and he bites his lip as he opens his eyes. “I-“ he steps closer to you and reaches for your waist. “I would think about you.” He admits softly. “When Darcy was being really bad, I would remember that one time we were together. It - it saved me.”

Your heart pounds in your chest and simultaneously breaks when you hear that Frankie had to escape like that. You swallow harshly and reach up to cup his cheek, “I wish I could take away everything she did to you.” You whisper, caressing his cheek.

“I -“ he leans into your touch and sighs. “It doesn’t matter now. I just want to move on.” He admits quietly.

“You can move on. You need to confront what happened, be stronger from the experience and move on.” You murmur, leaning in to gently kiss his chin, his stubble scratching your lips. “I love you, Francisco.”

“Can I kiss you?” He asks softly. “I want to kiss you sober.”

You nod, moving slowly so he can pull back if he wants and you lean in to softly press your lips to his. It’s gentle and sweet and everything you’ve wanted with Frankie, your body lighting up at the connection. You don’t move to deepen the kiss, wanting him to control this.

He sighs again, sliding his arms up and around you. Softly pulling you closer. He doesn’t think that you will push him away but he wants to give you the time to. If you want to keep it simple.

His hands squeeze your waist and you lean into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. You whimper when his tongue slides against yours and it’s like coming home, like you belong here with him at this moment.

Frankie wants to live in this moment. Feeling your hands on his body, worshiping him with your fingers as they caress his neck. His daughter laughing at her cartoon, safe and sound. He kisses you until he feels like he can’t breathe. Pulling back and smiling at you. “Stay tonight?” He asks softly.

You nod, breathless and lips swollen from his kisses and you whimper when he kisses you again. **** 

“She’s asleep.” You tell Frankie as you walk into the living room after putting Ava to bed. She had clung to you for a while until she finally passed out on your shoulder and you put her to bed. Frankie looks up from his phone and sets it down. “You don’t have to put the phone down.” You assure him softly, “I’m not gonna check it.” You promise, knowing that’s part of his learned behavior with Darcy.

“I was texting Benny.” He tells you with a self depreciating grin. “He’s checking on me. Again.” He had been embarrassed, but he told them all what had been happening. Since then, all of them checked in with him at least once a day. He knows they are worried, wanting to make sure he doesn’t start using again.

You come and sit down beside him on the sofa, reaching for his free hand. “They love you. They all wanna make sure you’re okay.” You say and squeeze his hand. “Baby, you’re doing so well.” You praise him.

“I’ll take your word for it.” He chuckles quietly and he squeezes your hand. “I don’t want you to feel like we have to do anything.” He tells you. “But, I - I want to.” He admits. “I’ve been- I jerked off in the shower before you came over.” The therapist had urged him to not hide his needs and to be honest with you. So he is.

You inhale sharply, your stomach twisting with arousal, and you’ve been trying to hide your attraction to him, uncertain if he wants to touch or be touched after suffering such a traumatic event. You shift a little closer to him, “I want to- I want you. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I just want you, Frankie.” You murmur, leaning closer to softly kiss him.

He hums into the kiss, his memory of your only night so far is burned into his brain but he wants something different. That was lust fueled, frantic. “I want to make love to you.” He whispers, moving to kiss along your jaw. “We fucked the last time, I want to make love to you.”

You lean into him, moaning softly at the thought, and you tangle your fingers in his hair, “I would love that, sweetheart.” You murmur, leaning back so you can kiss him properly. His tongue slides against yours for a moment until you pull back, “take me to your bed.” You order softly but you want him to be in control tonight. He has to be comfortable.

He’s nervous now that he’s not high. That he’s doing this with a clear mind. Old anxieties spring to the surface but he pushes them down. You aren’t Darcy and you wouldn’t criticize everything he did in bed. He’s already half hard, proving that he didn’t have any issue getting it up for you.

You stand up and hold your hand out to him. He takes it and escorts you to his bedroom. The bed is messily made but you don’t care about that when Frankie is pulling you close again. “I love you.” You murmur, cupping his cheeks before you lean in to kiss him. His fingers play with the hem of your shirt and you pull back so he can drag it over your head. “Can I take your shirt off?” You ask him and he nods. You move fast to take his shirt off, caressing his skin - free of bruises and no physical scars, except the ones he got in battle, displaying the abuse he endured. “So handsome.” You murmur, admiring him.

Frankie twitches slightly, not that he doesn’t believe you think that, it’s just he’s always been a bit reserved. The other guys were hit on more than he was, though he did alright. He reaches for you, wanting to see your body again. Compare it to the memory he has. “I love you. You are gorgeous.” He hated all the hateful things Darcy had said about you, none of them true. His hands slide under your shirt and he groans as he reveals your plain bra.

You feel gorgeous under his touch, despite the comments from Darcy. You reach down to squeeze him through his pants but he drags your bra down your arms and he’s ducking his head to wrap his lips around your nipple. You gasp, gripping his shoulders, “Frankie. Shit.” You hiss when he bites down, making your cunt clench around nothing.

Frankie moans, his cock fully hard and pressing against his fly. He loves the way that you respond to him and the way your nipple tightens in his mouth. Fingers trance up your spine before he works on undoing your jeans. Wanting to see all of you, touch you. Your taste is still a flavor on his tongue, but he wants to drown in it.

You whimper when he switches to your other breast and whine when he pulls back so he can push your jeans down your legs. “Fuck baby.” You gasp when his hand slides between your legs to rub your clit through your panties.

“Let me make you feel good.” He begs softly. He’s not doing this because he has to. He’s doing it because he wants to, he needs to. His fingers rub the material, groaning around your nipple with the wetness that starts to soak through.

You whimper, rocking your hips down to meet his fingers, and you grip his shoulder while your other hand reaches down to squeeze him through his jeans. “I’m yours. You can do what you want.” You promise him.

“I’m yours too.” He promises, twitching under your touch and loving how eagerly you want him. He pushes under your panties and starts to slowly stroke your clit as he kisses back up your chest and then to your lips.

You moan into his mouth, snaking your hand into his boxers, squeezing him as his fingers rub your clit. “Fuck baby. Never forgot how thick you are.”

“Yeah?” He’s proud of the fact that you think he’s thick. “Do you like it? Thick, I mean? Did it feel good?”

“I loved it.” You promise him, jerking him slowly as his fingers rub your clit and you close your eyes as his lips kiss along your neck. “I love you. Everything about you. Even your demons. I love every part of you. Accept every part.” You promise breathlessly as you squeeze him. “God, I need you inside of me.”

“You don’t want me to eat you out?” He asks in surprise. He had thought you had enjoyed it that night but maybe you just didn’t want it right now. “You’d rather I fuck you?”

You can tell he’s anxious and you pull back to look at him. “Baby, your tongue is literally magic. I never came from oral before your tongue came along. I loved it.” You reassure him, “I just - I want to feel connected to you.” You explain, hoping he understands that this is more than just sex. You want to feel him in your bones, in your soul.

Frankie smiles, relieved that you had cum. He had sworn you had, but he had also been high. “I get it.” He promises you, reluctantly pulling his hand out of your panties and starting to drag them down. “I want to be connected to you too.” He smirks slightly, feeling confident that it will be amazing. Everything with you is amazing.

You smile and caress his cheek with your free hand and you reach down to shove his boxers down his legs. He is throbbing and you want him to feel loved, to feel cherished. You sink down onto your knees, looking up at him. “I love you.” You declare and lean in to wrap your lips around his cock after gripping him. You want to make him feel good, feel cherished.

“Oh fuck.” Frankie chokes out the sound and tries not to buck his hips forward. Chasing the sweet heat of your mouth and the way you softly suckle him. “So good baby. Fuck, baby.” He coos softly, reaching down and stroking your cheek. You look so fucking pretty with his cock in your mouth. “I love you so goddamn much.” He promises, knowing that you don’t pity him for what happened.

You moan around his cock, loving how he is caressing your cheek and praising you. You love how comfortable he is, no longer ashamed of himself after months of therapy. You pull off of his cock, jerking him with your hand, "I love you. You want to cum down my throat or inside of me?" You ask, wanting him to choose.

“Inside.” He croaks out, pulsing in your hand at the thought. “I want to be inside you, so deep I don’t know where I stop and you start.”

You let go of him and shift to stand up, leaning in to kiss him. "How do you want me?" You ask and he murmurs against your lips, "on your back." You nod, shifting to lay down on his bed, naked and aching for him.

Frankie takes his time, standing up and slowly stripping. Watching as you lay down on the bed and spreading your legs to show him your dripping cunt. “So fucking gorgeous and all mine.” He groans, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down to expose his pre-cum stained boxer briefs.

You moan, “all yours baby.” You shift onto your elbows so you can watch him strip off, his pants kicked aside and his fingers wrap around his cock to slowly pump himself. “I’m yours. Always have been. Since we met.” You promise, chest heaving as he kneels on the bed.

“I wish I had Ava with you.” He admits as he shuffles closer. “You are perfect, great with her too, not just me.” He slides a hand along your thigh. “I used to dream of us being a family.”

You look up at him, “we can have a baby together if you want. Give her a sibling. Not now. But when we are ready.” You tell him.

“Yeah?” He groans quietly, imagining how good you would look round with his baby. “I want that. One day when we’re ready.” He slowly strokes his cock again before moving into position between your thighs.

You inhale deeply, eyes focused on him, and when he notches himself at your entrance, shifting onto his elbows, and you reach up to caress his chest as he starts to push inside of you. “I love you, Francisco.” You murmur softly, looking at him with adoration as he pushes inside of you.

It’s slow. Healing almost, as he closes his eyes. Head pressing against your forehead as he lowers himself on top of you and slides his arms under your back. “I love you, baby.” He promises breathlessly. “So much. You’re my everything.”

You whimper as he pushes into you. “Everything.” You echo, knowing it’s always been true. You caress his back as he pushes deep inside of you and you feel full and complete. Taking a moment to catch your breath, you look at him to take in the moment.

Frankie groans your name when he bottoms out, feeling like he’s home deep inside you. The look of adoration in your eyes makes him want to cry and he knows that Darcy never looked at him that way, not even in the beginning. He leans in and presses his lips to yours, twitching when he does.

You caress every inch of skin you can reach, loving how he feels inside of you, and you kiss him tenderly, unrushed. You want this to last forever. You murmur his name against his lips and he starts to move inside of you, making you gasp.

It’s overwhelming. Every time he rocks his hips he feels like he’s in Heaven. Holding you tight and groaning your name as he kisses you over and over again.

You pant into his mouth, heart pounding and skin on fire as rocks into you. It’s sweet and unhurried and takes your breath away. “Fuck, Frankie. This is better than last time.” You confess as he kisses down your neck.

It is better than the last time. Both of you are sober and there’s no lingering guilt because of Darcy. Nothing but the two of you and the pleasure that your love can bring to each other. “I know.” He rasps out. “Never want it to end.”

“Me neither.” You gasp as he rocks into you and you lift your hip, changing the angle, and it makes your breath hitch as he hits something incredible inside of you. “Shit. There, Frankie.” You pant and he nods, brow furrowing as he rocks into you, focusing on that spot. “Oh God.” You cry softly, “oh shit. That’s - oh I’m gonna-” You whine, clamping down on his cock seconds later.

Stealing his breath, Frankie watches as you come apart under him. Barely able to move as you hold his cock in your spasming walls, he grits his teeth as he tries not to cum. Wanting to make it last a little longer. Although he knows he’s going to wrap himself around you all night rather than slink off in shame.

Your eyes are clenched shut as the pleasure surges through you, making your toes curl, and you know you could never live a day without Frankie. You need him now like you need oxygen. “Fuck baby. I- oh God.” You pant, walls relaxing after you soaked his cock with your cum.

“That’s it, fuck you’re so pretty when you cum.” He praises breathlessly, kissing down your jaw. “Love you so much, need you. Want you forever.” He can’t imagine anything else but you.

His words make your heart pound in your chest and your entire body is responding to him. “I need you. Forever, Francisco. I’ve always been yours. I belong to you.” You promise him with a sigh.

He groans quietly as he starts to move again. Knowing that he will cum soon, he slides a hand between you to rub your clit. “Yours baby, I’m yours.” With Darcy, it had been forced, but with you it’s completely honest. “Want you to cum again, baby.”

You whine softly, overstimulated but he pushes you over into pleasure again and you tangle your fingers in his hair to drag his lips back to yours. You wrap your legs around his hips, pushing him deeper and trapping his hand between you. You whimper into his mouth, getting closer until you fall over the edge again, clamping down on his cock.

This time, Frankie is right there with you. Choking out your name as he pushes deep, wanting to be just as buried as he can manage to be when he starts flooding your womb with his hot seed. Panting with every spurt until he’s collapsing on top of you and pressing his lips to your neck.

You caress his back, eyes closed as you realize he’s safe and you’re together. Everything you ever dreamed to come true is now true and you’ll spend the rest of your life protecting him, loving him. He’s still healing but soon, you want to be his wife, the mother of his children, and spend the rest of your days by his side. It’s a bright future with Frankie, something he never imagined possible: a future with you, him, and your children.

#pedro pascal #frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales smut #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales imagine #frankie morales x f!reader #catfish x reader #catfish x you #catfish x f!reader #triple frontier #tw abuse #tw domestic abuse

[princessbrunette]

dealer!jj mention omg im still stuck on the pining between them n how the lines are completely blurred courtesy of how high they get together <3 plus jj loves the sight of a cute girl bumming it on his couch bc she looks so out of place n he just folds 👩🏽‍💻 he also starts tweaking if he finds out you have another plug (god forbid its barry) that you see if hes out orrr if you get high with anyone else n then he starts getting all avoidant n antsy and you realize he has it bad for you hmmm

‘₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊’

mmmm the thought of u having to go to barry for weed when jj gets locked up for like a week (gets let out due to lack of evidence that he’s selling and not just in possession) he finds out barry had been keeping you around at his place, making you smoke the super strong stuff that you can’t handle so you’re just sleeping on his couch infront of all these strangers and weird guys and jj is furious :(((( bc how dare he put u in such a dangerous position ??

shows up with a gun when barry’s least expecting it, the man not daring to move when he suddenly feels it pressed to his temple from where he’s chilling on the couch. “yeah, know what that is don’t you? gimme a good reason i shouldn’t blast your freakin’ head off right here right now. think it’s okay to keep innocent girls here greened out?”

“look, man — ain’t no one laying a hand on that girl over here. put the gun down n we can fuckin’ talk.” barry responds cautiously raising his hands to show he came in peace. jj does so, walking round the front of him.

“fine.” he speaks calmly and barry huffs out a laugh of relief, shaking his head.

“shit man, i was startin’ to think you —” barry’s smile is short lived, jj making sure to pistol whip him so hard round the face it leaves his head spinning, clutching his head as jj stares him down angrily.

“you let me hear this happens again and i swear to god bro i’mma go to jail for a whole other reason. are we good?”

‘₊‧꒰ა 🎀 ໒꒱ ‧₊’

#anon #dealer!jj #jj maybank prompt

[wandagcre]

https://x.com/justherelollol/status/1757608992753242470?s=46

sam’s nsfw pls

her heavy boots tactfully make their way to peek over your window. sam sighs in relief, realizing that the television was loud and clear – unknowingly it worked with her – covering up the sound of her stealthy attempts. she had finished stabbing a man earlier that was nothing but a pawn to her narrative. someone that came too close from knowing.

it would've been a better option just to come in like a normal person in casual clothes but sam was itching to see you in person. dried splatters of blood blended in with her dark robe, though they were still there.

although no one's in the living room. did it stop sam? not at all.

instead, she finds out a way to unlock your back door and cautiously makes her way to the stairs, sam's boots thudding slightly to each step. her knife is pointed away as she meant no harm for you.

your door was left slightly ajar. she gets a whif of your faint scent; rosy and somewhat musky. hearing the soft rustling of your sheets and the creaking of your bed, sam cranes her head to view more of what you were doing and to sam's complete suprise, you were laid in the bed, head hung over the edge just right in her direction with your eyes closed. your mouth parted as you let out a moan every now and then. you were almost naked – wrist bent with fingers unmistakably touching yourself.

sam's gloved hands push the door open and invites herself in. the squelching of your wetness as your fingers go in deeper so desperately had her weak in her knees.

you retract your fingers fast as if you were burned, body completely startled as you see the upside down figure of the ghostface paying you a visit. you feel choked up – this is it, it must be the end of you. the infamous persona came to sentence you.

"hello y/n/n," sam coldly utters through the voice changer. the smirk was unstoppable on her lips as you quickly scramble off to face her.

then there's the head tilt.

"how'd you–sammy?" you dumbly ask, still bewildered. you stood close to the ghostface who mildly smelt unpleasant, you figured they were on the job. it was nighttime, the perfect time, after all. "is it really you?"

you couldn't be too sure, sam rarely talks about this side of hers. you didn't know if she worked in pair or in threes. she drops the knife safely to the ground.

sam in question remained still until your hands cradled her by the mask, as if it were her face. so gentle that sam had to sigh in content.

soon as you felt her gloved hands snaking through your bare midwaist, pulling you closer as she rests them on your lowerback, you've got your confirmation—her other hand tracing your jaw featherlight. it was typical of sam to hold you in such way.

the monotonous voice starts up again, "it's me princess. now, why don't you finish what you started? i loved the preview." sam shook her head sideways, teasing you.

"with your help, i suppose?" you ask sweetly with a glint in your eyes.

soon, you feel her hand caressing over your tummy that tickled you. sam undos her other gloved hand and now you're able to feel the warmth in her touch—and oh, her pretty calloused hands...

they kept travelling downwards until she cupped your mound, making you moan and lean closer to her with eyes closed.

"of course. i'm here now."

you bit your bottom lip in excitement, the fuzzy feeling in your lower stomach brewing in wildly. you kiss sam a thousand times over her white mask, knowing the soft smile that she's got underneath, her fingers sinfully plunging in and out of your soaked cunt.

#blurb #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter smut #sam carpenter x reader #ghostface sam #ns/ft #lesbian #wlw

[szollibisz]

Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)

Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.

I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.

For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)

I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.

I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.

As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.

It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)

I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.

It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)

When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)

He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.

He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.

Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.

This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.

So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot

1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.

2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it

3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)

Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.

In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.

I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.

#spies are forever #tin can bros #saf #owen carvour #agent curt mega #szol's spy rambles #curtwen #tcb #hoooo boy this was very long. sorry #edit: pasted this into word it's 1.4k words. again: sorry

[olderthannetfic]

I always see people who have never been antis, talking about/questioning how some antis even ARE antis when you look at their taste in media - ie the ever famous joke of "Hannigram is #problematique" "but it's a show where he eats people" or whatever.

I thought I'd weigh in as someone who could, hypothetically, be called an ex-anti (which, thankfully, nothing ever really came out of it - it was just very 2014 keyboardwarrior-esque behavior of me being a chronically online young adult who would share posts in a group chat making fun of certain shippers, or reblog posts about how 50shades is The Most Problematic Media Ever to exist -- basically I was an anti with anti-lines of thoughts, but i never, like, a ran a Shipping Discourse Blog or whatever)

For me, personally, it was a few different things. I can now see how it's incredibly hypocritical that teenaged me shipped Light/L, while still thinking that Dramione was Bad And Abusive. It ultimately boiled down to a) being pretentious, and b) just not understanding media or what proshippers REALLY believed, with a side of c) not realizing that nuance exists. like i was pretty late to join tumblr, I think I immigrated here during PEAK "yourfaveisproblematic" era which definitely did have an impact on my opinions and my tastes.

to elaborate, a.) being pretentious. i mean this one just kinda goes without saying. "I engage in media in a way more intellectual way than you do, don't you know that? You're a filthy and disgusting person who writes Snape/Hermione because you're an actually disgusting pedophile IRL who would probably date your own student that you're abusing if you could. Meanwhile, I'm a very smart, good, and pure person. When I read Uncle Vernon/Harry, I'm doing it in a G-d honoring whump way that clearly condemns abuse, incest, and rape. Unlike YOU who only writes harmful stuff as a way to get people off :/"

(as an aside, i think this line of thinking will ALWAYS be present in fandom and popculture in some way, sadly. ie the recent trend of people hating on booktok bc the books are 'trashy' and how these porn addicts should read real classic literature instead.)

as for b.), not understanding media - i cannot emphasize enough that i was GENUINELY stupid and disconnected enough to think that proshippers REALLY WERE pro-All Of The Degenerate Dead Doves That They Wrote.

why did i feel this way? why did i understand that Lolita clearly isnt pro-pedophilia, but for some reason i thought that someone shipping weecest was? well, first of all, i think that fanfiction is (generally) seen as Less Serious than classic literature, and fandom is a fun place, so i guess i somehow thought that every fanfic/fanartist who wrote Problematic Things, especially Problematic Things that they portrayed as Sexy, really DID enjoy the thought of that Actually Happening To Real People.

and i think THIS is the bulk of why antis ARE antis. i'm not calling them all stupid - i do think BEING an anti is stupid, but at the same time, there are people who are truly smart and good-intended people who just have some really off color opinions about, like, homestuck ships or whatever. Lawlight is okay because notebooks that kill people don't exist so it's IMPOSSIBLE for the Harmful Aspects of Light/L to be romanticized! but schoolyard prejudiced bullies DO exist and are a REAL problem so Drarry is BAD (*truly completely unaware of the fact that there's 'realistic' aspects of the Light/L dynamic and 'unrealistic' aspects of Drarry - such as, for example, Hogwarts arguably being even MORE of a fantasy setting than DN is.*) I know that media literacy is the hot buzzword of the year to throw around in 2024, but, like, i really did not have media literacy.

as for c.), not realizing nuance exists - ok "nuance" might not be the best word here, but i dont know how else to describe it. like, each time ive typed the word "problematic" out in this ask, i've done so in a very tongue in cheek/ironic/retroactive way, but, like, those posts about how Everything Is Problematic, Including Your Fave ARE true. and i didn't like the fact that my favorite media or favorite person might've Made A Mistake! i need to Talk About Its Issues Because I'm So Betrayed That My Dear Sweet Comfort Media Would Do This To Me. I Need To Prove I Clearly Condemn It.

like, i legit morally could not justify reblogging a twilight post without adding in the tags '#this is my guilty pleasure it sucks that the books were so racist though' or whatever. Most people were lucky enough to avoid that line of thinking, but there was an actual group of people who felt a genuine need to virtue signal all the time, partly bc, hey, they WERE passionate about talking abt #issues in media, but also bc of a subconscious fear of If You Reblog A Singular Piece Of Hetalia Fanart, You're Literally A Nazi And Will Get A Callout Post Written About You.

and during all of this i was at the tail end of my high school experience (yes i know im younger than most of your audience, ha). i was going through A Lot emotionally, going through a lot of life changes, and lived in a very . . . interesting household/place where i couldn't do ACTUAL good in the world that i was passionate about. so to make up for the fact that i was genuinely in no place to do legit activism, clearly i had to save the gay community by arguing about johnlock queerbaiting or whatever.

^ and honestly i do think that is the position of most antis. theyre isolated and cant seem to do Enough in the Real Scary World so they have to resort to talking about how bad of a person someone is for "shipping abuse", bc theyre not in a situation where they could, for example, ACTUALLY fight the good fight to end abuse or raise awareness for it.

There was way more to it and way more that I could say, if I wanted to, but this post is long enough as it is and probably doesn't make much sense.

I feel bad for antis, honestly, or at least the ones who are antis in the way I used to be.

--

Oh yes, passionate young fools who think they can at least fix the internet if not their lives make up most of the cannon fodder. Some of the ringleaders are just mini dictators and wannabe cult leaders, but most anti-leaning types are just traumatized or clueless, even a lot of the ones who do serious damage and don't just mock shit in private with their friends.

[graphicpepsi]

desperate (nsfw, mdni)

OR: what happens when König returns from 6 months of deployment

Opening the door to your massive boyfriend felt surreal. There he is, standing in 25 pounds of gear like it's nothing, staring at you through traumatized yet stoic eyes.

He wraps his arms around you before he even gets in the door. His strong arms place themselves on your body like they'd never left; a hand on your back, the other on the back of your neck, softly pressing your head into his shoulder.

You inhale him, shamelessly, smelling metallic blood and sweat, musk and shampoo, him.

Neither of you are inclined to pull away completely, but enough to allow room for a long awaited kiss. König tugs his mask up to reveal his lips and kisses you harshly, your teeth clashing with a delicate force.

It had been months since you and König had touched each other. Months of letters, clandestine polaroids and whispery moans over private pay phones on the rare occasion he was free.

But now he was here, and alive, and god, if he left you now you think you'd die. A kind of electricity pulses in your fingertips, dancing along every piece of him you can find.

You pull him through the door with a rough tug of his vest, and you know he's only letting you control him because fuck he's strong.

The door slams shut behind you and almost immediately he's pressed you against the wall, his grip on your waist firm with intent. Reluctantly, he parts from you momentarily to remove the more dangerous parts of his gear that could hurt you. It was only a few seconds but it felt like an hour for you.

Your whole body is hot, overwhelmed with so many feelings both physical and emotional. You're overstimulated by him in the most beautiful, intoxicating way.

His hands are back on you and your chest is about to explode into a million tiny pieces.

"I love you so much," You whisper absent-mindedly into his neck as he kisses down yours. Your voice cut through the silence but neither of you minded, and neither of you seemed to be bothered by the wordless touching, breathing and feeling of the other. He grunts into your neck, and god that's hot.

König's hand delves into your shorts, his other gripping your thigh firmly. His hand ghosts over your pussy and you whine, shutting your eyes and leaning your head against the wall in anticipation. It's all too much. It's too much but it's what you need.

He doesn't make you wait. Doesn't tease you, edge you, make you beg for it; it's been months already. You both know he'll have you crying in frustration and desperation in a matter of hours, pussy dripping with slick and spit running down your neck, mewling with the pleasure of being denied by him- but that's not what tonight is.

Tonight is for you and him to feel each other, to find each other again. Because god knows it's been too long since his hands have been on you.

His fingers press into you, softly at first but rougher as he realizes how wet you are, how your body seems to melt and conform underneath him.

"Fuck, Köni," You whisper, hands flying up to grab at the back of his neck. He hoists one of your legs over his arm, giving him better access to your pussy. He has 3 fingers in you now, curling them and fucking them into you roughly, eyes staring at you frighteningly lovingly behind his mask.

He loves seeing you like this. He's missed it. He can't hear the noises you make in a polaroid.

"König, Kö- I'm gonna-" You can't even form words when he hits that spot in you. His rough fingers fuck into you relentlessly and you come for the first time, legs vibrating around him. You're completely relying on him to support you but you know he can.

Your head falls onto his shoulder, mouth panting as it presses sloppy kisses to the collar of his uniform. You haven't came like that in months and he hasn't even fucked you proper yet.

He lets you come down from your orgasm, looking into your eyes fearlessly.

In a matter of seconds he picks you up and carries you to your shared bedroom, laying you on the bed like you're made of silk. He cares so much about you it makes you want to cry.

You're about to take your shirt off when he stops you.

"I want to," He says plainly, pulling his mask and shirt off in one movement.

You could worship him like this easily. You haven't seen that lovely, handsome face in so long- god, you can name every scar on it, every crease-

His shirtless figure towers over you and it only makes you even more wet. The curve of his giant shoulders, his chest, the soft abs that litter his core-

You don't realize you're staring until he snaps his fingers, a playful smirk on his face. (God you've missed that smirk."

He strips down to his boxers and you can tell he's rock hard. His dick slaps against his stomach with every movement and you want to touch it so bad, wanna please him as he's pleased you.

His cold hands send shivers up your spine when they trace your waist to take your shirt off, and again when they unclip your bra. He tugs your shorts and underwear off and you're completely exposed in front of him.

Instinctively, you go to cover your pussy, but he grabs both of your wrists with one hand so fast he almost seems angry.

"None of that." He grunts, meeting your eyes. "Do you want this?"

"Yes, f'so long, Köni,"

"Sh, I know, me too. God, me too. I'll take care of you, love." He says, climbing on top of you and kissing your bare skin sloppily. Your skin is so fucking hot, you don't want his cool mouth to ever leave it.

He thrusts a finger into you, then two, but quickly realizes your pussy is practically begging him to shove his dick into you. You could be embarrassed over how wet you are, how much you're pulsing for him.

He throws your legs over his shoulders and positions himself so that his forearms rest on either side of your head, your noses so close they could touch.

And then he starts to enter you, all 8" of him.

"Fuck- shit, König, so big-"

"So fucking tight, schatz-"

He thrusts into you roughly, mercilessly, fucking you deep into the mattress and studying your eyes as he does so. Your hands grab at his back, clawing at it to the point where you're sure you're leaving marks. But you can't help it, and he wants you to mark him.

All you can think about is his dick, and how his skin feels on yours, how his breath feels on your face, how his grunts sound in your ear.

Fuck you've missed this dick. Stretches you out so good, hits you so deep, so rough and thick.

He's fucking you so good, and when he reaches a hand down to slap and play with your clit you know you're gone.

"König, Kö I'm gonna-"

"Come, love. Come on my dick."

You come with a shudder, and for a second you think you've gone to heaven with the way your body feels. Warm static fills your entire body.

Moments later he comes as well, pulling out at the last second to spill his come all over your tits and stomach.

He collapses on the bed next to you, pulling your shaking body onto his. He'll clean you both up in a matter of minutes, but he doesn't want to leave you just yet, too obsessed with the way your small body feels on his. Too caught up watching your bare chest breathe sporadically, trying to catch your breath.

God, you've missed this.

A/N: This is my first time posting on here I'm an ao3 veteran but I loveeee this man so much like fr wanna blend him up & drink him like a smoothie. If u like my writing that's super cool and i'll take ideas or wtv from y'all for sure. Hope you enjoyed :)

#konig x reader #könig #konig call of duty #konig x y/n #konig x you #konig fanfiction #konig smut #konig mw2 #cod smut #cod mw2 #codnsfw #iwasgigglingwheniwrotethis

[se4son-of-the-witch]

pretty when you cry pt 2 - matt sturniolo

in which matt gets a much needed wake up call

based on this request !

┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊

Enough was enough. You had come to this realization a few days ago. Ever since that night after the bar, you've been ignoring Matt. He's been begging to see you. To come over and fuck you then act like you weren't anything special.

However, this time you actually answered him. He had texted you, saying how much he had missed you and wanted to come over. Little did he know you were going to cut ties with him. Completely.

You've had enough of feeling like an object. Like you were just one of the many girls he could come to when he needed to get off. You were more than that. And you knew deep down Matt wouldn't want you seeing any other guys.

As you awaited his arrival, you paced around the room. You stopped in front of your mirror, taking a good look at yourself. You brushed your hair out of your face as you let out a deep breath. This was going to be a difficult thing to do, but you knew it was the best thing to do. 

A knock on the door thankfully took you out of your thoughts, making sure you were getting any second thoughts about your decision. 

You made your way down the stairs, bracing yourself for how awkward this whole interaction was going to be. You waited a second before opening the door, your hand hesitantly reaching for the handle. Behind the door, Matt stood on your front porch. He was wearing a black tank top and gray sweatpants, which he knew made you go crazy. However, you had to push those thoughts aside and stand up for yourself. 

"Hi, sweetheart," he greeted in a low tone. 

"Hi.' You kept your greeting short, not wanting it to go south before you had the chance to shut down your little situation. You closed the door behind you, making Matt's eyebrows raise in confusion, and took another step towards him. 

"What, did you wanna go back to my place or something?" He smirked at you, trying to get some sort of reaction from you. 

You let out a deep breath. "I can't do this anymore, Matt." You made short eye contact, trying to keep yourself from backing out. 

"What?" You didn't say anything which made his face slightly fall. "We don't have to have sex. We could just watch a movie or something." He shrugged his shoulders, not even sounding remotely interested in just cuddling with you.

"No, Matt, I'm saying," you paused, "I can't continue this." You pointed between the two of you. He looked down at you with his eyes slightly squinted. 

"What did I do wrong?" For some reason you couldn't place it, his tone was off. Like he didn't actually care to hear what he did wrong. Almost as if he was trying to pity himself and turn the whole situation on you. 

"It's just unfair." A deep sigh came from your mouth, making him take a step back. The confusion on his face was now replaced with annoyance. 

"I don't understand." He crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head at you. "You're the one who keeps coming to see me, yet it's unfair to you?"

His words made you scoff. "Don't even go there, Matt." The two of you stood in silence for a minute, anger beginning to boil in your blood. "I know I'm not the only one, Matt." His mouth slightly gaped, making you scoff. "You were literally talking to a girl the other day after we came home from the bar." 

"What? I can't have other friends? It's not like we're even together," he shot back.

"That's just it, Matt. We're not together, yet you talk to me like we've been devoted to each other for years."

"Well, how was I supposed to talk to you?"

You laughed. He sounded like a complete idiot right now. "That's not the point. And you know damn well if I was talking to anybody else you would lose your shit." He scowled at you, really letting your words sink in. "It's just unfair." 

"You don't know that."

"Trust me, I do." He looked away, knowing deep down you were right, he just didn't want to admit it. "I just can't do this anymore. I'm more than someone you use to get off when you're horny." 

He shuffled back and forth on his feet, trying to think of what to say next. "You know you mean more than that, Y/n." He stepped closer to you, trying to caress your arm. However, you took a step back, brushing him off. 

"Do I, Matt?" When he didn't answer, you confirmed that this was the best thing to do. "Look, I can't just be an object. Not to you or anyone else." You took a deep breath. "So after you leave tonight, don't try to reach out, because I'm not going to answer." 

Although it didn't show on his face, you knew how hard your words hit him. It's as if all of his blood drained from his face, leaving him pale with slightly wide eyes. 

"Okay, okay. I can respect that." 

"Thank you, Matt." 

After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, Matt spoke. "Well, I wish you the best, sweetheart. Maybe one day I'll see you around?" His tone was hopeful, which made you slightly smile. 

"I can't say." And you were telling the truth. As much as Matt made you feel special, you knew it was an act. However, he was a great guy. He just didn't know how to properly show you that. "Good night, Matt." You headed towards your front door, stepping inside. 

"Good night, Y/n." You watched as he walked off your porch, and headed to his car with his head low in defeat. Although it was an unusual sight to see, it took a big weight off of your shoulders. You were no longer his sweetheart and you couldn't feel better about that.

┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊

a/n: no happy ending this time 😛😛

tags: @chrattstromboli @imwetforyourmom

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo x reader

[mskenway97]

I'm going to write it, I've been thinking about it almost all day... a small drabble.

Well we all know tfp optimus but we can talk about its version 2.0, the update... that robust body... it doesn't have the slender body anymore but a little more stuffed. I came up with this.

If you want add more please go head

You've been avoiding Optimus for a while... but not because of anything bad or that you've been angry... since the upgrade you see him differently and he's given you some somewhat inappropriate thoughts for the autobot leader.

Try not to think about it but the thought haunts you more and more. You want to touch that tummy... it looks very comfortable... You want to sleep there...

But you didn't want Optimus to see it childish...

- little one, you seem distracted - Optimus said one day while you were having those thoughts again.

You woke up from your reverie to shake your head quickly - No, why do you think that - you said while you saw a black servo surround your body, with the upgrade its servos were bigger and it surrounded you completely like a little doll.

- What did we say about the lies," said Optimus somewhat playfully.

When you were alone with him he showed you a certain mischievous side that he wouldn't show to anyone on the base. And now he was walking to his room.

- I'd like to be honest... but I'm ashamed to say this," you said looking away with a blush as he looked at you with his optics.

You knew very well that penetrating look that could see into your soul.

- Well I... I couldn't help but have... certain thoughts.I mean your tummy looks squishy... I was wondering if well... I could get comfortable - you said, putting your fingers together and looking very embarrassed. It was the hardest thing for you to say, and maybe it would look weird.

With his digit he patted you on the head and was smiling.

-oh little one... of course yes... I like to feel your skin... besides... - said optimus while he was getting comfortable and putting you on his belly.

You settled down to realize it was much more comfortable than you thought it would be, you even snuggled in until you felt some digits gently kneading your body.

-Optimus?! What are you...? - you said but you felt more and more comfortable as he touched you with his digit going up and down. Giving you a shiver.

- shhh... you're not the only one who had certain thoughts... you're like a kitten now - said optimus as you were about to protest.

-I'm not... - you said but you felt some pressure that made you gasp a little, he wasn't applying force but you were applying force between his servos and his tummy.

-No, you're what? - said Optimus as he watched you give in.

-I'm your kitty ....

Optimus signed up to do this. Being robust had its advantages.

#sam writes #optimus prime #transformers #transformers prime #tfp #tfp optimus prime #tfp optimus x reader #optimus x reader #optimus prime x reader #transformers x reader #transformers x human #maccadam #maccadams #transformers drabble #drabble #size difference #a little crush kink i guess #g/t #giant/tiny #transformers g/t

[momowritings]

Love Bites pt. 5

The holidays are right around the corner...

Baker Fem Reader x Toji Fushiguro

word ct: 15.1k, 11 Chapters

Preview: Toji pressed a kiss to the top of your head, an absentminded but affectionate gesture since she couldn’t actually feel the kiss through your hoodie and beanie covering your head, but you warmed up from it nonetheless. 

“You’re doing fine..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Five: Pumpkin Spice

The warmth of Toji’s hand sears through your gloves even in the nipping cold. You look around in the skating rink and see a little girl in a sparkly pink jumpsuit who is doing a camel spin before evolving it into a salchow. Your eyes couldn't even keep up with how many rotations the child was completing, and you weren't sure if cheering her on would distract her or not. You watch in amazement before she realizes that the little girl who’s finally slowing down is Nobara, one of Megumi’s friends. She hadn’t recognized her for a moment because her copper hair was tucked inside of her beanie. 

“That was beautiful,” you compliment and Nobara beams up at you before giving a curtsy. You were about to give another comment before you lost your balance again. You stumbled forward, trying to steady yourself, but fell short and the ice below you was rushing up to your face fast. Luckily for you, Toji was a steady boulder who was quick to hook his hand underneath your arm to prevent you from ending up in the hospital. 

“Thank you,” you giggle. “This is much harder than they make it look,” you say sheepishly when you are finally standing up straight. When Toji invited you out to come skating you agreed without hesitation, then later realized that you had never gotten on ice for any recreational business. You tried to look it up online to prepare, but it was hard if you didn’t have any skates to practice on your own. You were relieved to see that you weren't the only person unable to skate in the rink, but it was still a little embarrassing. 

“Follow my feet,” Toji says, gliding in front of her to grasp both of your hands tightly. Toji wasn’t wearing his usual suits, instead opting for an all grey sweatshirt and pants combo, with a black puffer jacket and beanie to match. It was a simple outfit, one that you had seen a thousand times before on other people, but he looked devastatingly handsome. Suddenly your feet started to shuffle frantically because you were admiring his face instead of following Toji’s feet like he told you. Your face crashes into his chest with a thump that even Toji groans at. You try to pull back but your feet slip again, causing you to make the same mistake. 

You slump in defeat and scowls at the ice below you. You rub your head into his chest, then lift your head up, digging your chin into his sternum to look at him. 

“I suck at this,” you pout. You bat your eyes at Toji and let your arms dangle at your sides while he continues to hold you up from your underarms. “Even the kids are better than me,” you grumble. You look at Yuji who also said he has never skated before, which was true since he was struggling to take baby steps on the ice with the help of Nobara and Megumi when they first came in, but now he was attempting a triple axel because Nobara had dared him to. 

Toji pressed a kiss to the top of your head, an absentminded but affectionate gesture since she couldn’t actually feel the kiss through your hoodie and beanie covering your head, but you warmed up from it nonetheless. 

“You’re doing fine. Yuji’s freakishly good at everything.” 

“He could go to the Olympics at this rate,” you comment, pointing at how he landed yet another obnoxious turn that Nobara suggested. The kid was only ten years old for crying out loud. You groan and turn your forehead back into Toji’s chest again. 

“Are you hurt anywhere? Do you want to leave?” Toji sets you right on your feet, his eyes grazing over your body. 

“How could I have been hurt? You’ve been holding my hand or body this whole time,” you laugh, then slowly shuffle to the nearest bench looking into the rink. “I don’t want to leave just yet,” you say, sitting down and stretching out your legs in front of you. Toji occupied the space next to you and you both watched the three of the children race around the rink together. You scoot closer to him, closing the gap between you, then rest your head on his shoulder. You hum along to the Christmas song that is playing overhead, threading your hand under Toji’s that was resting on his thigh. By instinct he brings up your hand to kiss the back of it and you grin in response. You sit quietly and listen to the sound of jingles and laughter for a moment until Toji speaks up. 

“What are your plans for Thanks—“

“Is this the reason why you can’t pick up the phone, you fucker?” A deep voice asks behind the couple, and your eyes widen at the interrupter. He must have been taller than Toji, with tattoos on his face and creeping up his neck, and spiked pink hair to top it off. Toji didn’t even turn around to acknowledge the man. He replies with a simple, “It broke.”

“If you’re gonna lie, at least make it a good one,” the other man grumbles. He finally looks down at you, who Toji scooped and tucked closer to his body. The other man crosses his arms over his chest and whistles.

“What’s this? You actually got yourself a woman now?”

“What do you want?”

“She’s really cute. What’s your name, honey?”

Toji pulls you closer and glares at the man. “Sukuna,” he warns. 

“Sukuna me all you want, I asked some questions first.”

“Baby, this is the bane of my existence. Bane of my existence, this is my baby. Now go back to whatever the fuck you were doing before this.” 

“I was looking for you, asshole. We have a problem,” Sukuna says after winking at you.

You give a small wave of your hand but stay quiet during their interaction. You can see Toji getting increasingly stressed out from the conversation so you rub his thigh consolingly. 

“Can’t. Busy. Take it to Nanami.”

“Nanami is pulling the same shit as you but he’s smart enough to stay inside to avoid me.”

“Gojo then.”

“He’s being disgusting with his girl right now. They’re feeding each other whatever baked goods she made for him this time and rubbing each oher’s noses,” Sukuna shivers. 

“Sounds like you should get yourself a partner,” Toji sighs. 

“Don’t worry about me, I got my eyes on someone. Speaking of partners, are you gonna bring her to the family Thanksgiving dinner?”

“I was getting to that before your big ass showed up.”

“I’d love to go. What should I bring?” You pipe up. 

“Anything you want, sugar, I’m sure it’ll taste amazing,” Sukuna purrs and dodges the arm Toji threw out in an attempt to punch his stomach. 

“Great. That’s settled. Call the kids over so I can drop them off at Nanami’s place as punishment for blocking my number again. We have some work to do.”

“I’ll be fine, Toji. It looks like your…friend needs you,” you smile. 

“Thank you,” Sukuna nods. “Here you go,” he hands you a cafe cup. “The lady in the store gave me a sugary pumpkin spice latte instead of black coffee.”

“Don’t take that,” Toji scowls and snatches the cup from Sukuna. “After I take her back then we can talk. Fuck off.”

“Love you too, baby,” Sukuna teases. He walks down the street hauling Yuji and Nobara on his shoulders and Megumi walking close behind, leaving Toji and you alone to walk to his car. 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Toji says once you get in his car. 

“I want to. I want to meet the rest of your family,” you assure him.

“They’ll love you, but I’m greedy and wanted to spend Thanksgiving alone together.”

“We’ll have some alone time when we leave,” you say, leaning on the armrest and looking at his lips. 

“Oh yeah?”

You hum in response, drifting closer to his face, but place a finger on his lips before you could touch.

“First you should get me a pumpkin spice latte. I really wanted that one,” you grin.

<<<Chapter One

<<<Chapter Two

<<<Chapter Three

<<<Chapter Four

Chapter Six>>>

#minimoe #momowritings #jjk #x black reader #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk toji #jjk fanfic #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #dilf toji #kid megumi #kid yuji #kid nobara #sukuna ryomen #toji fluff

[beanghostprincess]

Ya know there is so much in the Fandom and yet I have noticed a distinct lack of Buggy and Sanji content.

Not in a shipping way either but like. Buggy, the Flashiest Pirate In The East, would ABSOLUTELY go to the Baratie if only for the renown it has for its food. Also I bet he knew - or knew OF Zeff at the very least - when he was still a pirate. Buggy visiting the Baratie occasionally, sometimes in Normal Flashy Fashion, sometimes more toned down because he just needs a bit of a break. Zeff would absolutely take one look at this traumatized little hobgoblin of a pirate and go "oh wow. Someone get this bitch a meal. Bitches love meals"

Sanji, a wee tyke learning the ways of the kitchen, sees this absolute bozo who he, at first, assumes to be a second rate pirate. Zeff is better. Zeff tells all these stories about the Old Ways, the Pirate's Code, and Sanji thinks "this clown doesn't know the meaning of a code"

Then smth happens to completely change his tune. Maybe Buggy says or does something. Maybe Sanji overhears or sees smth. Maybe someone else kicks a fuss, and Buggy responds in the Right Ways. Who knows?

But Sanji is now intrigued. And Sanji is a kid, with lots of trauma sure, but a kid nonetheless. And Buggy Notices.

He gets forcibly assimilated into Sanji's found family. He never agreed to this. He never had a choice.

Sanji grows up with Zeff and uncle Buggy. He happens to leave with the Strawhats at the perfect time to do so - and he keeps avoiding Buggy via near misses, to the point Bugs is SEETHING playfully. How dare. Truly. All of his nephews are EVIL.

It comes to a head when, years later, with Emperors crowned, there is a series of wacky shenanigans which lead to Cross Guild and the Strawhats meeting face to face.

Sanji is flabbergasted by the realization that he now has step-uncles, one of which is the mosshead's mentor/father-figure. The other is the brutal ex dictator of Alabasta who later passed the captain's vibe check and might just be said captain's other father, there is no confirmation.

Buggy meanwhile is having twelve different attacks of a variety of nature bc he's due for his yearly fight to the death with his one nephew, and the other is here and within throttling range and - IS THAT A HICKEY!?!?!

Cue veeeerry awkward Meet The Family where Buggy and Usopp actually get along well while Sanji is debating his chances of kicking these men's asses and if it would dishonor Zoro's dreams if he threatened mihawk....

Both conversations boil down to "he's been through a lot, so be good to him or you'll be hearing from me, okay? Okay. Good."

Usopp actually is chill with this both bc "I would never" and also "even if he came for me, I could kick a clown's ass probably. If nit me, then Luffy. And if Luffy doesn't, then I will deserve it."

Crocodile and Mihawk are mildly amused but also curious - the clown? Having trauma? As if. They think of it initially as smth of a comparison. Severity of trauma is the highest rank. They think of Buggy's past as "his captain died, he broke up with his best friend, the end". They do not know of the interim details. The reasons that Shank and he both refuse to allow anyone below 14 at the bare minimum onto their crews. The reason Buggy was frothing when Shanks told him about Uta - after the fact. The reason Buggy only drinks certain brands of rum because some make him physically sick. The reason he can't sleep in pitch black darkness. The reason he sometimes simply Can't Sleep At All.

There's more to it, to everything, to all of it, than any one person knows.

Just. Back on topic but Buggy and Sanji. I just think they'd have the neatest dynamic.

You just chose two of my favorite characters and did THIS and I love it 😭 The funny thing is that it does make sense that Buggy had gone to the Baratie and met Sanji at some point... I've always thought mostly on Usopp/Buggy parallelisms but Sanji kind of relating to Buggy too because of feeling inferior to his family,,,, Besides I think the dynamic would be hilarious because okay, they get along, but I can imagine them growing closer and caring about each other but arguing all the time Sanji/Zeff style? So at first, everybody thinks he has something against Buggy because when they meet they won't stop yelling at each other but when they ask them about it, Sanji is like "??? Nah, he's something like my uncle don't- Don't think too hard about it". And I am also SO sure Sanji would know stuff about Shanks that Luffy doesn't because Buggy explained Sanji their childhoods,,, Going insane about this one, actually.

#unexpected duo that i support wholeheartedly #one piece #black leg sanji #buggy the clown #ask-bean!

[super-paper]

How do you think AFO would be taken out?

Hard to say! All the heroes uniting against him as ~the ultimate evil~ might seem satisfying on some level, but it also plays directly into AFO's toxic comic book narrative and it doesn’t really "engage" with his character in a totally satisfying way, if that makes sense. I'm firmly on team "afo shouldn't get what he wants, Ever" so I'm not a fan of any ending that merrily sends him off into his next life as a "demon lord" instead of actively trying to rip that mask from him. Hori hasn't really let me down on this front, yet-- and as I suspected, it does seem as though chapter 419's AFO is more or less picking up where body!AFO's character arc left off. AFO's core desires as a human and the immensely fragile "heart" he's hidden away are both things that are being directly challenged in the most recent chapter, too:

Izuku, the hero, constantly inspires others to come to his aid because he doesn't hide his humanity, his identity, or his struggles from others-- people see him fighting for his life and realize that he is "just like them," and that motivates them to rush to his side and offer help. Meanwhile, AFO finds himself completely alone because he wont let go of the demon lord role and accept his own humanity. Something something We Still Need To Know His Name smthing sm.

With all of that in mind, I still think the most appropriate way of defeating him involves forcing him to confront his own humanity + weakness in all its ugliness (which Hori has already been doing at a pretty steady rate this arc!) and ultimately forcing him to take responsibility for Yoichi's death. This might seem like a massive leap from the person AFO is right now, but depending on how things go, I do think Hori could pull it off.

Anyway, as for what I would like to see:

Personally, I would like an end where he willingly lets Yoichi go (and by proxy, finally lets Tenko go). Not because I think this would redeem him (it wont) or because I want him redeemed (i don't), but because I do feel like something along these lines would be the natural conclusion to his character arc and the best way to symbolize him accepting death/his mistakes. He came into the world desperately gripping onto Yoichi, and was unable to ever truly live or truly die due to his obsession-- so it makes sense to me that AFO will only be able to leave this world when he finally lets Yoichi go. Like.... even now, we see him stubbornly persisting with the idea of conquering the world even though he feels it's totally pointless-- with the implication that he's doing this because the demon lord role and the captain hero comics are literally the only thing he has atp that still connect him to Yoichi in some capacity.

If I end up being right and the OFA embers now exist within Tenko's body, then ideally, I still want some sort of conversation + resolution between the brothers before Yoichi finally passes on with the rest of the OFA embers. I'll admit that I've never been 100% fond of the idea of reading Izuku & Tenko's story as Yoichi/AFO's "good ending", simply because so much of Tenko's story is about reclaiming his own identity (+ detangling himself from his abusers) and so much of Izuku's story is about finding his own identity-- which is why I feel the final resolution to the OFAFO plot needs to be between AFO and Yoichi, not Izuku and Tenko.

I actually don't want Tenko to kill him! I think I've said this before, but I feel this outcome would be only satisfying to folks who want Tenko to have very surface-level revenge on his abuser w/o thinking about the effect this act would have on Tenko himself. I personally feel it wouldn't do Tenko any favors, mentally, since the crux of AFO's abuse involved convincing Tenko that he only exists to destroy. And people really hate to admit it, but-- Tenko sincerely loved AFO and I don't want him to have to repeat the tragedy of being forced to kill someone he loved all over again (even if they don't deserve that love by any stretch of the word). Like, a lot of people want Tenko to take AFO out the same way he took Kotaro out, but I feel this would only emphasize how Tenko and AFO are trapped in an endlessly repeating cycle.

side note: Kotaro coming directly from AFO's stomach/womb during the 270's vestige realm sequence feels extremely intentional now, what with the constant cannibalism and pregnancy imagery surrounding AFO and Tenko. MHA continues to be a masterful example of visual storytelling and Horikoshi continues to be a straight up freak for no real reason /positive!

A big part of Tenko's healing was always going to involve him confronting his feelings for Kotaro, specifically-- all of his love and disappointment and wishes and anger. And with that in mind, it feels like Hori is setting AFO up to act as a sort of Kotaro proxy for this next stretch of Tenko's character arc (even TomurAFO's current hairstyle and facial structure reminds me of a mix of Kotaro x AFO x Toshi.... Hori really said "Tomura's final character design is gonna be a mish-mash of every potential father-figure who has ever let him down byeeeeee :)" and he was sooooo sick for doing that wtf). Anyway, I know people like to joke about AFOtaro, but honestly, the narrative itself really does justify the read of Tenko being AFO and Kotaro's traumababy lmfao...., 😭

Also worth mentioning is that this iteration of AFO/TomurAFO has pupils, despite there being no Tenko component to his personality at this time. AFO's lack of pupils are textually/canonically meant to convey his inability to "see" others as people, so I'm very interested to see where Hori intends to take things from here.

#mha spoilers #all for one #shimura tenko #midoriya izuku

[suppose-i-was-worm]

Like the Beat of a Drum pt 2

**I'm not entirely happy about this, and have NO clue where it's going next, but we'll see!**

The Red Hood clocked Danny as not all he seemed as soon as they were alone together. After some negotiation (Danny threatening to vanish into thin air and Hood threatening to tell Red Robin), they came to a consensus.

Danny would be in human form unless one of the other bats were around, and Hood would keep his big mouth shut.

“No spooky supernatural stuff in my borough, kid.”

Danny decided not to tell the other man that he himself had a fair bit of spooky supernatural stuff going on.

He should probably keep an eye on that- Corrupted ectoplasm was never a good thing, and Red Hood was crawling with it.

Living in Crime Alley was easy. Hood had put him up in a dingy little apartment, fully stocked with anything he might need- and no surveillance equipment. Danny had checked. He spent his time while he finished the healing process taking the toaster apart. And the microwave.

Hood visited while he was arms deep in the oven and put a kibosh on larger appliances, but he started bringing small broken appliances around for Danny to fix. It was nice, having another undead hanging around. Someone who understood the constant itch under Danny’s skin to keep moving, keep working, keep reminding himself he was alive.

He even was finally able to see his soulmark! It was a name, somebody called Timothy Drake-Wayne. Hood had seen it and made some sort of choking noise, and when Danny asked, he was told that Drake-Wayne was publicly markless. Weird.

Danny was pleased that the wounds to the area had healed completely though, not marring the text at all.

The wound on his chest, not so much. It stood out, inflamed and sore against his otherwise pale chest. Its presence reminded him a little of the lichtenberg scars that crawled down his arms in his ghost form.

Maybe the Drs. Fenton had somehow killed him again, and now he was a halfa twice over? This was his penance, he supposed, for trusting them after everything.

~~~

Tim’s favorite coffee shop was packed, save for one table with a lone occupant. Once he’d gotten his deathwish coffee, he made his way over to the table.

“Excuse me, do you mind if I-“

The table’s occupant, a young man with dark hair and piercing blue eyes, nodded toward the other chair before Tim could finish his sentence.

“Feel free, man. It’s a busy day today.”

Tim couldn’t help but wonder where he’d seen the other before- his face was familiar in a strange way, and he felt- he felt surprisingly attracted.

His soulmate heartbeat thing had been unusually quiet since the night Phantom arrived, whereas before it sounded loud and clear in his head at least a few times a day and long into the night.

He was allowed to talk to cute people while his soulmate was still young, right?

“Spend a lot of time here?”

The stranger shrugged.

“Here and there. Haven’t run into you before, which I think I would have noticed. I’m Danny, by the way.”

Tim didn’t think much of the name. This young man was far too old to be his Daniel.

“Nice to meet you, Danny. I’m Tim.”

He reached out a hand, and Danny shook it firmly, giving him an odd look that quickly passed.

The two of them sat and chatted for a while, and Tim found himself wondering how he’d missed this person around Gotham- he was well spoken with a soft accent, whip smart, and gorgeous.

Tim’s watch buzzed, reminding him he had a meeting- he could have sworn he had two hours between his coffee run and his meeting, but perhaps he’d been chatting too long.

“Shit! I have to go- it was nice meeting you!”

He chugged the rest of his now-cold coffee and darted out of the coffee shop.

It wasn’t until after the shareholder’s meeting that he realized he hadn’t asked for Danny’s number.

~~~

“Hood!”

Jason looked up from his desk as his office door was flung open, and then watched in amusement as Danny scrambled out of the grasp of the goon trying to pull him away.

“Sorry Boss, he slipped by us! I’ll- OW! He bites!”

“Stand down, Marcus, he’s a friend. Head over to medical if you need to- the little shit’s feral.”

Grumbling, the goon let go of a smug looking Danny and made his way to the other door while Danny swanned into the office and made himself comfortable on Hood’s guest chairs.

“How did you find this place?”

Shrugging, the kid pretended to inspect his nails.

“You know, just followed the scent of daddy issues and rancid ectoplasm- not hard. Didn’t peg you for the office type, though.”

Jason leaned back, crossing his arms.

“What do you want.”

“Timothy Drake-Wayne is Red Robin, yes?”

Trying to keep his posture casual and unconcerned, Jason tilted his head.

“What makes you say that?”

“I met a guy named Tim at the coffee shop and he’s got the same ghosts as Red Robin.”

Danny slapped a newspaper down on the desk between them- the cover page was Tim, looking very CEO and businesslike.

Jason was pretty sure Tim and Danny would get along like a house on fire, if Danny had already figured him out.

“Also, I felt his heartbeat when we shook hands and it matches the beat of my soul.”

Pausing, Jason parsed the information he now had about Danny.

“Wait, you can see ghosts that follow people?”

“You can’t?”

Jason stared incredulously at Danny for a few beats, and then the younger man sighed.

“Right. Your ecto is all screwy. Remind me to fix that. Yeah, I see ghosts attached to people- not everyone has them, and not all of the ghosts are actually, you know, dead people, but yeah. I don’t normally think about them because they’re everywhere, but same ghosts often equal same person.”

Danny slumped further into the chair after he finished talking, letting out a small whine.

“What now?”

“Jason, he’s cute.”

With a sigh, Jason pointed over at the newest handful of appliances he needed Danny to fix for the residents of Crime Alley.

“Take that and get out of my office.”

~~~

“Timberly~”

Tim sighed and let his pen drop- if Jason was here and looking for him, he probably wouldn’t get much work done. Not that he was getting work done now- balancing a pen on his nose wasn’t really work.

Jason rounded the batcomputer, idly tossing his helmet from one hand to another, a massive grin stretching across his face. It was a scheming face, a face that said he knew something Tim didn’t, and Tim hated not knowing things.

“What.”

Jason’s grin stretched wider.

“You’ve been keeping secrets!”

With a sigh, Tim turned his attention to the computer. Of course he kept secrets- the entire family had secrets. Hell, the secrets that the entire family kept probably also kept secrets.

Undeterred, Jason shoved his head (read: his entire upper body) in between Tim and the computer.

“So, where is it?”

Tim raised an eyebrow at the other man, hoping he looked as judgmental as he felt.

“Where is what, Jason? My spleen?”

The grin on Jason’s face faltered for a moment before returning with full force.

“Your soulmark!”

The weights Dick had been working with in the training area hit the floor with a loud thump, and Tim could only assume their oldest brother was storming over to berate Jason.

“Jason!”

Heh. He was right.

Jason pulled away, grabbing the arm of Tim’s chair and dragging him along to be a human shield as Dick approached.

“Nu-uh, Dickie- I’ve got good info, here. Timmy has been hiding his entire soul from us!”

Tim would like it to go on record that he hated everything, everyone, and especially Jason. He tuned out Dick’s raised voice and Jason’s responses, trying to figure out how the other could have found out.

He almost always kept the patch on- it’s not like a civilian camera could have caught him without. Even when he took the patch off to wash or to tend a nearby wound, he made sure to do it in his Nest without any recording devices nearby.

The only way Jason could have- Maybe he’d met Daniel and seen Tim’s name? Some poor kid down in Crime Alley? A four year old at best. Eurgh.

He tuned back into the still heated conversation.

“-kindness isn’t hard Jason, and you can’t just use the excuse that we’re siblings to bully Tim for being markless! I never thought you had it in you, you-“

“It’s under my sternum. How’d you find out?”

Dick’s tirade stopped short as Tim answered, his mouth dropping open comically. Jason pumped his fist triumphantly.

“You handed him to me on a silver platter, Timbo.”

Tim did not gape, that would be unbecoming and Janet Drake would never allow a son of hers to be unbecoming.

“I’m sorry?”

Jason grinned, an evil, evil grin.

“Daniel Fenton. You gave his case to me.”

“Case?”

Dick’s voice was high and reedy, and Tim looked over to see that he was looking distressed and probably a little faint.

Jason snickered. Rude.

“I do not have a case for my soulmate.”

Jason snickered again, and pointed at the batcomputer.

“Then what’s that?”

Both Dick and Tim turned to look- it was just the file on Phantom- but by the time they turned around again, Jason was roaring out of the cave on his bike.

Tim flipped him off, just because he could.

Dick collected himself before Tim did, whirling to face him and yanking Tim’s shirt up before desperately scraping at the bare skin, trying to find the patch.

With a sigh, Tim pushed Dick’s searching hands away and peeled off the patch himself.

He felt bare without it- completely exposed to his brother’s sharp eyes.

“You never told anyone?”

Shrugging, Tim slapped the patch back on, pulled his shirt down, and turned back to the batcomputer.

“Came in late- didn’t want some poor kid to get saddled with me.”

By the hitch in Dick’s breathing, Tim could tell the older man was about to get sentimental on him, or berate him for talking bad about himself.

This day couldn’t get much worse, could it?

The Arkham escape alarm sounded from both boys’ phones, and Tim sighed yet again. Way to jinx himself.

~~~

Phantom floated invisibly above the Red Hood, filtering away the ectoplasm that rolled off of him in waves as he stood with the other bats.

“Nightwing and Robin, you’re looking for the Joker.”

The ectoplasm spiked at Batman’s growl, and Danny sighed soundlessly. Keeping Jason away from his vengeance was not the right way to go about things.

“You want another dead Robin if they find him?”

“I do not want a dead Joker, Hood, and I know there will be one if I let you after him.”

Red Hood crossed his arms with a snarl, and Phantom settled closer to the man’s shoulders, keeping a steady wave of calm floating from his core.

The beat of his soul was pounding with excitement, and he took a moment to glance over at Red Robin, who was glaring in Red Hood’s direction. Danny couldn’t begin to fathom why.

Once the bats scattered, Phantom brought his head closer to Hood’s. The older boy was muttering mutinously under his helmet.

“What if we found him first?”

Hood’s head shot up to look in Danny’s direction.

“I could help, and then we could go home and finish Jenga.”

“Help do what?”

Danny dropped his invisibility long enough to flash Jason a grin.

“Payback.”

~~~

Red Robin and Spoiler crashed into a warehouse, weapons at the ready, only to find half the rogues they were looking for tied up and watching a fight going on in the center of the room. Tim’s heart was beating a mile-a-minute with adrenaline, and so was his second heartbeat. He had been rushing to find the Joker at least, especially after Red Hood went off comms.

It took him a minute to identify the people in the fight, if it could really be called that. From what he could tell, it was a mostly unilateral beat-down of the Joker by Phantom.

“What the fuck.”

Stephanie was watching with wide eyes from his side, and Tim caught a glance of Jason watching from the other side of the warehouse, helmet off and a green glow about his face.

“We need to get to Hood and make sure he doesn’t do anything.”

Spoiler nodded, but before she could move, a shadow shifted next to Hood and Black Bat slipped from the shadows, putting a hand on the man’s arm. Hood turned his head in her direction, nodded, and then went back to watching the show.

Black Bat stepped away, seeming satisfied with Jason’s response.

Phantom smacked Joker with a backhand slap loud enough to startle Tim, and the psychopathic man went flying back into the wall, crumpling into a heap at the base.

Tim watched as Phantom floated over to Hood, chest heaving despite no sounds of breathing.

“Are you Avenged, Bat of Gotham? Feel it in your Core.”

The greenish glow to Jason’s face flickered and then floated up and away from his face, dispersing in a thin mist.

“I am Avenged, Phantom.”

Phantom landed with a smile.

“See? Killing him wasn’t necessary- just a little beatdown.”

The second heartbeat in Tim’s sternum began to slow as Phantom held out a hand to Red Hood.

Jason took it and shook, smiling grimly.

“Red Robin?”

Spoiler was at his shoulder, but Tim couldn’t tear his eyes away from Phantom’s face.

“Red, we need to get Joker to the hospital.”

Black Bat moved from beside Jason and punched Tim on the shoulder.

“Ask him out.”

Tim startled.

“I- what?”

She made the sign for soulmate discreetly, and Tim felt his face flush. Phantom couldn’t possibly- but then he thought about Jason’s cryptic wording about Tim’s soulmate the other day.

Surely not. Surely.

#dp x dc #dp x dc fanfic #dp x batman #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #brain dead #mild violence #soulmate fic

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

Attempting To Analyze Luka And Till To Try And Figure Out How Round Seven Will Go

LUKA:

From what we've seen of him, while he knows how to manipulate people's emotions, doesn't quite know how to understand them and process them. We see this as far back from when he was a kid, when he and Hyuna's brother would get into fights, and he would use his frailty as an excuse to go running to Hyuna for her to defend him; it's an excuse to get her attention, to get her to side with him against her brother. This probably made him feel good, like she placed him above her brother, even if it was momentarily.

However, this strategy came crashing down when he went too far, when he killed her brother. Perhaps this was an accident, just him being too frustrated that day, him going to far, and he didn't realize it till too late. Even so, it was fine, he just needed to present himself as the victim to Hyuna like he usually did. What he didn't anticipate, was Hyuna's complete horror and rejection of him.

Now, we don't know when exactly Hyuna ran away and went rouge, but it couldn't have been right away; also, if we're going on what we saw that one time with Hyuna still having cuffs when she was an adult, then it wouldn't be till many years later. The aliens wouldn't have put Hyuna in a different group or anything; even if she did somehow try and plead a case that she was worried for her safety or something, they'd take one look at little prized Luka and be like 'nah he's harmless; that stunt with your brother was in self defense', basically not caring at all about Hyun Woo dying at all; he wasn't as profitable as Luka. It helps that Luka is so sickly; it helps with him getting out of any actual punishment on the rare occasion he slips up. And so, in the aftermath, Hyuna and Luka still had to interact with each other everyday for the remainder of their training in childhood.

Now, to backtrack, for Luka's backstory, this is more speculation than anything. But from what I can tell, he's always had a camera in his face, some sort of eyes on him looking for media entertainment. Even before he's been properly trained, we saw that small scene of him as a child with a bunch of aliens crowding him, eyes on him, and him just looking so tired from it. I'm assuming that he was either breed and born for being a singer, or he was clocked at a very early age. Either way, he started getting media attention from before he was even put into training with others. It's in this, that Luka formed his understanding of interactions; it's performative, doing whatever the aliens want out of him for their entertainment, he learns that he needs to do certain things in order to get a positive reaction out of the aliens. It's what he needs to do to survive, all he's been trained to do really. From this all he knows about socializing is how to get an emotional response out of someone, a completely hollowed understanding of how emotions work.

And then he was put into training with other humans, which is likely the first time he's actually put with other humans. He's ostracized; he's seen as sort of 'other', since he's leagues ahead of the other humans who've barely started properly learning and he's been trained for this since forever. Also, the other humans likely have been around other humans before, meanwhile we have Luka over here who as none of the common social ques that humans have. Basically; he's never been treated like an equal before, he only knows the dehumanization dynamic from aliens, who just want him to perform. But with his group, their not asking him to perform, so he essentially ignores them, thinking that's all an interaction is. That's when Hyuna comes in; she feels like the sort of person to see how Luka is put on the outside of the group for being strange, and doggedly tries to become friends with him, despite his initial disinterest. It's through this, that Luka forms an obsession with Hyuna, his first friend, the first living being that doesn't demand anything from him. He can relax around her, do weird shit like chew on his sleeve if he feels like it and she doesn't mind, doesn't have to mask a response. He actually has positive feelings himself when he's around Hyuna, something he's not really used to. But despite this, Luka still has a dysfunctional idea of how emotions are, and really likes Hyuna, so he wants to get a positive out of her, so he still tries to do things he knows will get that out of her, like that thing with her brother.

Now, back to Hyuna now being horrified of Luka, he really doesn't know what to do with this. He tries to fix it, do every trick he knows to get a positive response from her, try to get her forgiveness, but nothing was working, and he doesn't understand why, and he's getting increasingly and dangerously frustrated. Luka is not use to getting a negative response, and I think it's through this that he really learns what that's like. So, I think to ward off his frustration, he tests getting negative responses from his fellow humans, particularly his opponents. It's through this, that he finds out how useful that can be, a more secure way to survive. As the years go by, Luka gets all the better at manipulating others emotions, and it's through this that he understands why Hyuna still won't forgive him, despite his understanding of these emotions being very clinical. Because of this, he knows how to try and better manipulate Hyuna into forgiving him, so much so that it actually starts messing with Hyuna's head. She emotionally begins to be swayed into forgiving him, but rationally she doesn't want to, and it gives her a whole complex of what she knows what she wants to feel versus what Luka is manipulating her to feel. But she ends up running away from the aliens before Luka could completely manipulate her.

When she runs away, Luka falls into a spiraling depression. The one person he's ever loved is gone, the one person who made him feel anything. From this, he dives into his work, trying to glean any sort of joy from manipulating negative responses from his competitor's to make them mess up, turning it into a sort of game at this point. It becomes his only defense against the constant eyes on him from the aliens, the constant and disgustingly dehumanizing attention that has choked him ever since he could remember. Luka folds further and further into himself, burying whatever sliver of humanity he felt with Hyuna. However, he follows very closely the revolution movement that's happening, knowing for a fact Hyuna would join (or start?) the group. The aliens likely have covered up this revolution, especially from the humans so they won't get any ideas, but with Luka being Luka, he likely has the influence to get some insider information whenever he can, causally eavesdropping on important alien figures talking about it while he sings for them. Whatever the case, no matter how much time has passed, Hyuna haunts him just as much as he haunts Hyuna. And even after all this time, he still doesn't hold the proper remorse of murdering her brother or trying to manipulate her into forgiving him, just regretting the results.

TILL:

From what I can try to glean from Till's past, it's littered in violence from the aliens. I can see there being a sort of cycle with Till; he does something that his alien owners lightly punish him for, which puts him on the defense and gets violent, which in turn makes the alien's get violent and try to restrain, which makes Till get even more violent, and so on. The aliens viewed him as sort of this feral dog, completely untrainable, moving him from home to home, shelter to shelter. They try all their methods they have to make him 'submit', but each and every time he simply refuses.

I sort of have this theory that Till didn't start out as someone with an owner, or someone who was even regulated by an alien in a adoption facility or something; he used to live on the streets, completely unmanaged, which is very rare for humans. Maybe he even had other stray humans he hung around, or maybe he managed on his own. Either way, eventually he gets captured by the aliens, and maybe his fellow stray humans get captured and broken down or killed in this. The aliens try to integrate Till into their human pet system, but he's just not having it. He wasn't trained by aliens since birth to act a certain way, which would explain his intense resistance towards them. He sees the situation for what it is, how humans being put in such a degrading and dehumanizing dynamic is wrong, and it makes him angry to be expected to put up with it. It makes him especially angry that his fellow humans expect him to go along with this dehumanization, just to keep the waters calm. Because even the humans that have sort of realized that this is wrong, were still trained under this system, and has just accepted that they need to live with it, and Till won't. They all act like he's crazy, aliens and humans alike, but Till refuses to give in.

Whatever the case, Till proves to show constant resilience, something that probably was having him set up to be on track for being 'put down', having no worth as a 'pet'. Till knew this, but it just made him push even harder, fight back harder. We see in a few flashes of Till be experimented on with syringes; possibly in an effort to make him calmer. This was probably something that happened before and after he became a singer. Even then, physically and biologically abused, he refuses to go along with this system, to try and hold on to any sense of autonomy he has even as they try to restrain and degrade it. And all this fighting does take a toll on Till; we see it in the heavy bags under his eyes, but even so, he keeps going. You know, unironically, I think Till is the embodiment of the term "the indomitable human spirit"; he just absolutely refuses to be cowed for the sake of an easier survival.

I think what kept him from being 'put down' was when it was discovered he had a talent for singing. I don't know how this was discovered; maybe Till was just bored and entertaining himself with singing or strumming a guitar, or maybe they had him tested for a talent before the decided to kill him just in case he had any sort of monetary worth. Once they figured out he had a talent, he was shipped off to be the Anact Garden's problem.

Now, Till, at his core, is an extremely protective person; it's actually kind of insane. Once he decides something is 'his', he tightly holds onto and protects it with everything he has. We see this time and time again; deciding to be the sole protector of the flowers and encouraging them to grow, literally beating someone up if they stepped on them. Following Mizi around just in case she would need help, and one day she did, and she didn't hesitate to run into that cave and fight off whatever monster she had stumbled upon, literally just some child squaring up against some mutated beast (or possibly striking a deal with it? we didn't see the whole thing. either way whatever he did must have been a huge deal because it literally changed Ivan's life). He doesn't even care if Mizi loves Sua and that she'll never love him; he just wants her to be safe and happy. And in defending Ivan as well, cause he was a weird kid, and I know Till would go from snarling at Ivan to snarling at another kid who's making fun of Ivan. And that's why he fights so hard for his own rights and autonomy as well, because he's protective of his own sense of self, refusing to let go of it. His protective instincts are his main motivation for basically all of his actions, all of his supposed feral behavior.

It's probably this that trait that drew Ivan to Till in the first place; his and Till's first interaction was Till beating him up over some flowers. It kind of looked like Ivan felt alive for possibly the first time in his life during that fight. I bet afterwards, if Ivan were to question Till on it, Till wouldn't even understand the point of the question; like of course he would defend the flowers till his last dying breath? Duh? Don't be a dick? Ivan probably followed Till around all the time, but I imagine the reason Till didn't form as close a connection to Ivan was because Till sees Ivan as just another source of violence in his life he needs to fight against. It's why he probably developed such a crush on Mizi; Till is drawn to kindness more than anything, to softness. It's why he forms a connection to the flowers, to Mizi. He can't see the kindness in Ivan, not till it's too late.

It's probably those protective instincts that made him turn back when Ivan was trying to get him to run away; of course he wanted to run away. But then he thought of Mizi, left unprotected. And then he considered Ivan, who upon running away, would also be left unprotected out in the world. His need to protect was being torn at, and in the end, he chose Mizi, leaving Ivan to fend for himself. What he didn't expect, was to see that Ivan came back too. That's when Till truly stopped seeing Ivan; his guilt didn't allow him to. He feels like he abandoned him, thrown him aside what he feels he needs to protect, forced him to come back to the facility, and now Till can't look him in the eye.

Honestly, I think it's these protective instincts that serve in his break down after Mizi left. He feels like he failed in protecting her, and not only that, he feels like there's nothing left for him to protect. He'd already thrown away the idea of protecting himself when he was entered into this competition, only motivated to protect himself to get far enough to go against Mizi in the final round, in which he was going to throw the round so that she could live. He completely threw away any protective instinct for his own survival, having accepted that at the beginning of this competition, because those he loves will always come first, and he and Mizi both couldn't survive, so really it was a no brainer for him. But now Mizi is gone, and he doesn't know how to get that desire to protect himself back, can't find the motivation for it. And so, going up against Ivan, all of the years of constantly fighting are just coming to get him, and he's just so tired. With nothing left, he was just going to throw the match. And then Ivan comes up and starts kissing him, which catches Till completely off guard. But then Ivan starts choking him before Till could process what that meant, and this made a lot more sense to him. Ivan killing him on stage lines up with everything he thinks Ivan to be; just another source of violence, and he's going to let him. But then he realizes what's actually going on, and it all clicks into place for him; Ivan loved him. Ivan had a whole inner world Till never knew because he decided to look away. And Ivan was something Till still had left to protect, but now he was gone. And all he has left to protect is the sacrifice Ivan left behind; himself.

TOGETHER:

It's unlikely these two have ever really met before; they were in different age groups when they were being trained as kids, and given their extremely different vibes it's unlikely they'd be asked to perform together or even be asked for from the same clients. So this competition is likely the first time they've met. Having never really met, what they currently think of each other is Till thinking Luka "is a dick who messed with Mizi and kisses up to the audience", and Luka thinks of Till as "an idiot who will go unhinged at the drop of a hat and has no sense of his own self preservation".

Till finds the motivation to want to survive, for Ivan's sake. He wants to protect Ivan's cause for dying, almost like he wants to make up for not properly seeing him over the years, for tossing him aside and not protecting him. Bro's got a whole complex he'll work on for the rest of his life, but right now it's really motivating him to win, so at least there's that.

It would be really easy for Luka get a negative reaction out of Till; he's very reactive to things. But I think Luka will fail in getting the right kind of reactions out of Till. Typically, when he backs his competitors into a corner, they feel too much turmoil to properly sing. But that's the thing with Till; he's reactive. If Luka pushes him physiologically, his response won't be to shut down, it'll probably motivate him to sing even better, try to sing over Luka out of spite. So Luka's best bet is to try and provoke Till into violence, and it'll prove a challenge for Till who probably already hates this guy for giving Mizi a breakdown. I bet for the entire round Till will have to try so hard not to beat this guy up, to push all his aggressive energy into the performance, but it's so clear how much he just wants to murder this man, leaving the crowd and the guards on pins and needles.

Till's normal style of competing seems to be singing over his opponents, making sure they have absolutely no time to collect themselves. It's kind of funny, how both Till and Luka's strategy is just to make the other one look worse. But Luka has a lot of experience with making the crowd like him, so he throws tricks at Till he wouldn't be expecting, somehow blending the performances perfectly. But Till has never been one to stick to the script, so I can imagine him just playing a wildly different tune, trying to force Luka to change lanes again and again, seeing if he can keep up. In the end, this isn't a performance; it's a fight, a tug of war for the spotlight.

On another point, I wonder if Till will accidently remind Luka of Hyuna; she was obviously a rebel herself, given her whole thing of going to go join a revolution, so I wonder if at some point in the performance Luka will see a bit of Hyuna in Till, and it'll cause some faulter. It's kind of funny; Luka will on purpose psychologically torment Till with those that he lost, and Till will accidently psychologically torment Luka with the one that he lost.

Really, them competing with each other is sort of like a round of chicken, seeing who will crack first. But of course, all this could be for naught when we thrown in these two uncontrollable elements; Hyuna and Mizi. They're here, at the facility, and they're in trouble. This is something both of them will deeply care about, and it's unclear how it'll factor in. I wonder, if at some point during the performance the two of them will realize Hyuna and Mizi's situation, and give each other a look, like they're saying to each other "okay fuck you and all but we've got to help them", and then their battle turns into a weird sort of temporary alliance. Maybe they try to distract the aliens with their performance or start actually fighting. Maybe they do some sort of weird complicated dance move that's made to break the power and to make it easier for Hyuna and Mizi to get away. Maybe they just say 'fuck it' and run off the stage together, going to help the other two and have them all escape. Either way, I think the ending of their performance won't have anything to do with the two of them at all, but rather another. And I suppose it's fitting for the two of them, whose current sense of identity is tied so closely to other people, rather than themselves.

#this became more of a disorganized rant of my little backstory theories then anything lol #I'm actually so chill and normal about alien stage thanks for asking #alien stage #alien stage till #alien stage luka #alien stage hyuna #alien stage sua #alien stage mizi #alien stage ivan #till #luka #hyuna #sua #mizi #ivan

[aemrsy]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write a Johnnie Gulibert x fem reader fluff 🙏🫶🏼

sweet

a/n: thank you sm for requesting!!

i hope you love this 💋

tw: tooth rotting fluff 😭😭

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you were sitting on johnnie's comfy grey bedsheets sipping on some monster that jake brought you while he was on his morning 7/11 run. you had all just gotten back from coachella johnnie's room was a mess.

your guys's clothes straigtners makeup etc were all scatared everywhere but you guys were too lazy to do anything about it considering the hectic weekend you had just experienced.

johnnie was sat on the edge of the bed strumming away at his guitar, you were there admiring him with literal heart eyes. he caught you staring and chuckled turning his head away in embarrassment.

"no keep going love" you said sincerely with a smile on your face, he continued strumming you watched as his fingers danced along the strings as if they were made to move that way.

you were completely enticed like the tune he was playing casted some sort of a spell on you. his tounge poked out, he always does that when he's focusing without even realizing and you always thought it was the cutest thing ever.

you hadn't even realized that he stopped playing but when you did you looked up at him and opened your mouth to speak,

"baby..you always just blow me away with how talented you are". he set his guitar down and moved closer to you resting his hand on your thigh caressing your skin with his thumb.

"you're so sweet it hurts" he said with a chuckle he put his hand on his chest dramatically as if it were actually hurting him you spoke up again,

"no i'm serious you really are super talented".

"oh am i now?" he said snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you to his side you rested a hand on his chest and rolled your eyes "yes you are dummy"

he looked down at you "come on, you love this dummy" he said gesturing to himself your faces were so close you could feel his breath on your lips you smiled pushing him back creating distance between you two,

"shut up" you said sarcastically before pulling him back in and kissing him.

when the two of you pulled away he cupped your face in his hands "god how did i get so lucky?" you buried your face in his hands as your cheeks heated up he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.

you tried to speak up but what came out of your mouth was a stuttery mess you had your hands holding his two wrists you burried your face in his hands again but to the point where your entire face was covered after that failed attempt at words.

"hey, you're cute when you're flustered let me see" he lifted your chin up getting a good look at your red cheeks "stooppp" you said stretching out the word he pulled you into his chest again.

"but i like teasing you" you smiled against his chest "you're damn good at it too" he drew shapes on your arm with his thumb.

"that i know sweetheart" your heart skipped a beat at the nickname you melted into his touch he kissed the top of your head before leaning his head against yours.

you two were there cuddled up on the bed for what felt like forever without a care in the world. whenever you were with him everything just stopped nothing mattered as long as you were in his arms.

#johnnie guilbert #jake and johnnie #jake webber #johnnie and jake #johnnie guilbert x reader #jake webber x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #tara yummy #tara yummy x reader #the tinas #johnnie x reader