#i burnt out so bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 3 months

Text

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

2K notes · View notes

babysitterpng · 5 months

Text

sketchdump

#i drew once and it fucked me up #steve harrington #stranger things #hi i missed yall #tentatively back but i gotta take it easy on socials #burnt me out real bad so i gotta be mindful #anyway hows it going hows it been #is z formerly known as twitter as big of a dumpster fire as ive been hearing #did everyone migrate back here

749 notes · View notes

jvzebel-x · 7 months

Text

here's an update for all the "tOuRiSm iS fOr ThE pEoPlE" fucks. always remember that the second anyone steps foot on that land in the name of "tourism" or any other haole institution, that is colonizing&that person is a fucking explicit modern colonizer who made the conscious decision to be one and has spent a lot of fucking money on that trip to get their title. only that kine want more of their kin there-- don't pretend that shit is for anyone else.

drop dead of spontaneous combustion specifically, not even the sharks would want that pīlau fucking meat.

#video footage of haole families already in burnt wasteland is so fucking dystopic its almost funny #'funny' in the way of 'i might have rabies bc im foaming at the mouth lol'. bc fuck if i wouldnt literally #rip these ppl to fucking shreds. god bless whoever took the pics&vids bc i couldnt havd held my tongue.#you know we're all fucked when the governor is holding private back-chamber business-only meetings #to decide to open a fire wasteland two months after 1000+ ppl were killed&where ppl are still looking for remains to tourism #&it honestly seems so much less disgusting bc theres literally footage of haole families already disregarding any form of boundaries.#like this is what we've come to lmao.#i have so. much. violence. in me&no where to put it lmao. i want to go home. i miss home so bad. i am so fucking homesick.#i think the next person who responds to finding out im from hawaii w anecdotes of their trip there will probably get knocked out.#like i dont actually think i should be held responsible for that first hit. anything after is fair game tho i guess.#undescribed

510 notes · View notes

keuwibloom · 2 months

Text

I hear a sound calling out for us-

The bond joining us together stretches to the future.

Vivid BAD SQUAD my beloveds! It took me a little over a year after downloading to actually get invested in project sekai, and these guys were the main reason why I'm really getting into it rn

188 notes · View notes

teenytinyapprentice · 3 months

Text

bunch of puzzlin little critters 🧩 doodle/drawing dump, mostly things from 2023 i forgot abt haha

#burnt out p bad by the end of 2023 - so im tryin to take it slow and get back into the groove of drawing every day #remember to take breaks n cut yrself some slack - i always forget to do that phew #professor layton #hershel layton #luke triton #alfendi layton #lucy baker #ilyana professor layton #crow professor layton #katrielle layton #teenytinyart #doodles #alcohol

174 notes · View notes

its-a-beautful-day · 6 months

Text

Sunday - Scurry the Beetle Wizard

Always loved the design of this lad, but what if he was a wizard? 🪄🎃🪲

#star's art #my art #artist on tumblr #beanie babies #bug art #beanie baby #beaniebabytober #Scurry the beetle #Beetle wizard #Wizard art #bugblr #inktober #drawtober #I am getting a bit burnt out on drawing every day so these are probably going to drop in quality #I'm sorry #I feel really bad for missing Caturday

283 notes · View notes

surfedoutbrainwaves · 9 months

Text

dear gravity, u held me down in this starless city…

#first collage in a while!!! i got super burnt out after last semester #being a perfectionist Did Not Help. i need to let myself make bad art sometimes!!!!!!!#anyway. i wanna try making pieces for every fob song so i’m starting with folie my beloved <3 #we’ll see how long i stick with this project #fall out boy #fall out boy lyrics #fob #fob lyrics #folie a deux #art #collage art #tiffany blews #mine #@ the fob tumblr intern… i’m just saying that if u wanna rb this go ahead…. <3 #(temporary) pinned

315 notes · View notes

57sfinest · 1 year

Text

also yall we need to step back from the harryvision and understand that kim, at his core, is a loser (affectionate) like everyone else. so much out there wants to portray him as limitless patience, great cook, super organized, good handwriting, nice tasteful living quarters etc and that's fun to contrast him to harry but well i am here to RUIN that we need to take off the du bois glasses and appreciate kim for the weirdguy that he is. he has horrific fits of road rage and harry genuinely fears for his life riding along with him and witnessing the generational curses this man is capable of unleashing upon the stupid little fucks that cut him off on the 8/81. he has never had the time or space or budget to learn to cook so he lives off deli sandwiches and butter noodles and the occasional grab-and-go fruit. he writes so much so frequently with such awful handwriting that he has invented a new form of shorthand and the moralintern is contacting him to create a cipher system for them. he has no resources to furnish and maintain a nice flat so it's like a slightly gentrified r/malelivingspace but with a table for his sewing machine and there's scrap fabric and thread and half-pinned half-hemmed pants strewn about the place. there are absolutely a bunch of shitty mockups of his old wirral character in the backs of his notebooks and he hasn't played it in years but if he ever picks it back up then his minmax high int high dex definitely-not-a-self-insert sidhe artificer is READY. everyone add your weirdguy kim thoughts NOW 👇

#the 'kim is so cool and confident etc' illusion shatters the moment martinaise is over and harry knows him outside of the one case #harry will be starry eyed about him for a long time regardless. but harry knows More now #harry like kim i dont know how to cook for myself please help :(#kim comes over. they attempt a dinner. the vegetables turn out undercooked but burnt somehow. the pasta is limp.#the chicken gives them food poisoning.#'are you... bad at cooking?' harry asks. kim pulls the eyebrow. they drop the conversation and harry never asks again #harry decides to try out wirral with a local group and tells kim. kim goes full nerd mode #kim walks him through character creation and gives him a full rules rundown from memory #introduces him to the prominent ttrpg settings and lore. it's a literal 8 hour conversation #at the end of it kim says 'and that's the basics' and harry gives him a Look and kim is like ah. i may have told on myself a bit there.#anyway that ends in harry DEMANDING to see kim's wirral character #kim (embarrassed) (proud of his character) (ashamed) (really wants to talk about his character) (needs help with backstory details)#anyway they end up workshopping their characters together.#kim at the end is like 'hm maybe your guy can be in mine's backstory' and harry goes '😣👉👈 is this first base...'#kiwipost #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi

407 notes · View notes

heretodefyfate · 2 months

Text

don't you just love the bond between trainers and their pokemon~

1st pic: lucifer nash from @kiroons-hyperfixtations

2nd pic: Ace spadea from @jacobtheeevee

3rd pic: Adrian Watson from @axelrod45

4th pic: Pomeg from @ghostgirls (for some reason, tumblr don't let me tag you)

5th pic: Nova from Angelique

6th pic: Interceptor Rumi from @lemonade-juley

7th pic: Asfrith from @eclysia

8th pic: Sage from @lurker-extraordinaire-657645

9th pic: Bluebell from @sumipain-t

10th pic: Aevery Lumin from @ask-mysterious-muses

#pokemon #pokemon rejuvenation #pokemon ocs #other ocs #KArts #these are...a lot XD #i had fun #especially figuring out how your ocs interacting with the pokemon #minus Ace whom Roaring moon was suppose have beef with-#this was what happened when you have bad reading skills💦#still. i'm appreciate you guys letting me drawing your ocs ^^#i was...sorta in a burnt-out? so this was a nice chance to warm up #rejuv tag because there are two fan-designs pokemon from that game #aevian sigilyph and volcarona. my beloved

117 notes · View notes

ducktracy · 7 months

Text

Rewatched Book Revue and can feel the fanaticism I once (and still do!) held for it dripping back into my bloodstream as I find myself mindlessly redrawing poses from the model sheet in MS Paint