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#i am too tired to make any actual content
inbextween · a day ago
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Blankets and Books and Budding Friendships, Oh My! || Sophie and Bex
TIMING: About a month ago (Before Bex was attacked by Kyle) PARTIES: @scribesophie and @inbextween SUMMARY: Sophie invites Bex over for some fun blanket for building time, but she accidentally leaves a few “strange” books out, and the two get talking. CONTENT: Family death mentions (Sibling, Parental)
Sophie seemed like a nice person, albeit a little awkward. But Bex had little room to talk on that front. She was usually pretty amiable with people, but it was all a front. That was never the real her. And although she was good at keeping that front up, sometimes it was too difficult, or she was too tired. And man was she tired these days. It was probably because she refused to sleep solidly through the night, in case she fell back into that dream world she couldn’t escape from. The things she saw there still haunted her mind, even in her waking moments, but so much more so when her eyes closed and sleep tried to claim her. She mostly slogged through her days with extra caffeine and splashes of cold water to the face. More than a few times she’d fallen asleep in class just long enough for her head to hit the desk. But she didn’t have to worry about any of that right now-- not false appearances, not falling asleep at a desk, not dreaming of darkness and isolation. Now, she was just going over to a potential friend’s house to build a book fort and just have some simple fun. What a wild concept, she thought. Doing something just for fun. The last thing she’d done just for fun was with Mina, but did it really count if before that they’d shared a somber moment by the poolside? She wasn’t sure. She also wasn’t sure she’d gotten the right address, as she looked up at the large towering house before her. She hadn’t expected it to be so big, but Sophie had said she lived in a large house, all by herself. How lonely. Bex could relate to that. She lifted her hand and knocked, before stepping back to wait. When the front door creaked open and a face peered out at her, she gave a small wave. “Hi, Sophie? It’s Bex! Am I early?”
This was going to be fine and normal. Most of the people Sophie had talked to online seemed fine. Bex was nice. She was friendly and normal and hadn’t called her weird yet. Making a book fort was a totally cool and normal thing for people to do. Maybe if Sophie thought it enough times, it would sound true. She had piled a number of good books in the living room, big, sturdy ones that could survive a little stacking. There were a number of blankets and pillows she had piled onto the sofa as well, after giving them a thorough wash. Some of them refused to smell any less musty though, even after a few trips through the laundry. And then there was the hotdog sheet… which was not to be used in any sort of book related activity at all and had been banished to the closet. The knock was as surprising as any knock ever was, but Sophie didn’t hesitate before rushing to answer. “Hi. That’s me. No, now is good. Come in.” She stepped back, pulling the door with her, motioning for Bex to follow her inside. “I’ve got fort stuff in here. Oh, and food in the kitchen. Or we can order something, sometimes the pizza guys get lost trying to find the house though.” She was babbling and she knew it. But it had suddenly struck her as she led the way back into the living room, that some of the books she had selected would beg a few questions. Most were in languages she was willing to bet Bex wouldn’t know, but a few were very much in English and their titles seemed to stare her down as she led Bex closer to the pile. “So, um, where do you want to make the fort?”
Bex followed Sophie in and tried her best to not let her wandering gaze be too obvious. Bex also lived in a rather large, rather old house, but hers was maintained with such detail and vigor, she forgot how big and old it was sometimes. And how little of it she actually lived in. Sophie’s house was...emptier. Not that that was a bad thing, but as soon as they’d made it to the living room, the hominess of the place finally settled in. This room felt lived in, and the stacks of books were empirical proof of it, had Sophie not been standing next to the stack as well. “Oh, um, sure! Whatever you’ve got for food is fine! I don’t really eat much pizza, and I’d really hate for someone to get lost trying to find their way here.” Her driver almost had, after all. She let her gaze drift down to the stacks of books Sophie had set out and came over, tracing some of the spines. “Um, well-- here is probably fine? I can’t say I’ve built many ah...book forts? Or forts of any kind, actually,” she rambled, knitting her brows together. “Have you?”
“Some, but it’s been a while. I might be out of practice. When I made them before, I always had help.” Sophie stopped there. Better not to get into who used to help and why they weren’t there anymore. She had already told Bex probably too much online. This wasn’t an in person talk she was ready to have. It might never be. Grabbing a few larger books, she started to make a stack a few feet from the couch. “You can read some too, if you want. Dual purpose building materials. Or if you want to look at other books, you can. Some of them are… weird. My family was really into myths and ancient history.” As if that would explain the shelves full of detailed werewolf diagrams and fae migration history. At least most of those books were in other rooms. The living room was a little more normal, or as close to normal as any of the books got. Sort of an intro to scribe texts, a gentle easing into it for the uninitiated. Still there were a few noticeably odd titles. And Sophie had hauled in a few questionable grimoires herself for fort purposes. Maybe Bex wouldn’t look at them that closely. “So, um, it looks nice out today.” Great work on the small talk.
“Well, guess we can just figure it out together, then!” Bex said, giving a toothy smile. She wanted to ask about who else Sophie had built bookforts with, but she had a guess from what they’d talked about before, and she didn’t want to upset the other girl already and ruin any chance of friendship. Bex needed more friends. She perked up at the mention of ancient history. “Really? Do you have a lot of books on history?” She was unable to hide her eagerness, as she started sifting through books, looking for anything that might catch her eye, setting aside the other ones to help use to build the fort. She tried to copy Sophie and set down a small pillar of them next to the couch, opposite hers. “Like this?” she asked, giving a little flourish to try and show off her pile. At the mention of the weather, Bex couldn’t help but giggle. “It is, yeah. But, you know, you don’t have to talk about the weather if you don’t want to. Not that I mind small talk, but trust me, there’s not much you could say here to scare me off.” She gave the other girl a gentle smile. “Besides, I’d rather talk about books or history or, uhh--” she picked up a random book and read off the title-- “In Spirit: A Guide To The Most Common Spectral Habits.”
“Oh, yeah. Lots. Um, that’s what most of the library is. You can look through them if you want.” That was probably fine. History was good. People could talk about that, normal people. Sophie let a half smile sneak into place. Bex actually sounded like she meant that, not the sort of fake ‘oh that’s nice dear’ sentiments she had always gotten as a child. That was… kind of cool. Maybe inviting over near strangers from the internet wasn’t such a bad idea after all. “Yeah, just like that. Bigger books on bottom. Don’t want them falling over. Bookalanches can be deadly.” That was sort of a relief. Sophie was pretty sure she was actually allergic to small talk. If she had to ask about some sports team, she would probably break out in hives. “Okay. Cool. I’m not so good at that. The talking. I don’t go outside. Well, not ever. Sometimes I need food.” And there was the babbling. She busied herself making another little stack as Bex inspected the books. Oh. Oh no. Sophie slowly turned, her thoughts suddenly going in sluggish slow motion as she tried to find an excuse. “Uh…. yeah.” Is what she came up with. “Some of the books are, uh, obscure. Weird stuff. Collector’s items. The house isn’t haunted. In case you were wondering.” Sophie had to use all of her self control to not smack herself in the face with the book she had been about to add to her stack. 
“Really?” Bex said, unable to hide the eagerness that pitched her voice higher than normal. She paused, cleared her throat, and readjusted. “I mean, if you’re sure? I’d love to. I’m kind of a big history buff, but not like, in the weird, ‘I’m obsessed with World War two’ buff kind of way. Like, ancient history! And the history of human evolution and culture! And, um, just a forewarning, if you get me started, I might not stop. I tend to um, ramble sometimes. So, sorry in advance!” Bex gathered up another stack of books, like Sophie instructed-- biggest on the bottom, smallest on top-- and set them in a pile next to her first one. “You know, this isn’t so hard. I thought maybe book forts were going to be more complicated than I could manage, but I guess if you know what you’re doing, it helps, huh?” She turned to smile over at Sophie again before picking up a book from the pile and glancing over it. The word stuck out to her like a red stain, but she didn’t say anything at first. Cautiously, she opened the book and skimmed through the table of contents. She looked up, blinking. “Sorry, um-- haunted? Oh, no, I mean-- you did kind of make it sound a little haunted, but, really, I wouldn’t have minded either way.” She glanced back down at the book in her hands. “Do you believe in magic?” she asked suddenly.
“Yeah. Books are meant to be read. We have a lot on… a bunch of different cultures. Do you have a focus? That’s okay. Rambling is good, it means you care about the thing.” Sophie knew that all too well. She had used to be a rambler. Now it was hard to find the words, harder to find anyone who would want to hear them… hardest to actually will herself to say much at all. But maybe she could try with Bex. Or try to try. Baby steps. She shrugged a little. “It’s mostly book stacking. And finding places to wedge the blankets so they stay up. Not very technical. Uh oh. Bex picked one of the weird books to look through. Abort mission. Why would she say anything about the house being not haunted? Of course that would make it sound extra haunted. Which it might be. Sophie hadn’t checked. The house had been there for so long, had been so lived in, it was more likely than not that it was at least a little haunted in certain corners. “Uh.” That was a bad question. It was definitely a trap. Sophie fidgeted with the book in her own hands 1000 Common Herbs and Where to Find Them. She should have offered to trade books. “Sort of. Do you? There’s, um, a lot of things that happen here that science can’t really explain. Um, well, not just here. Lots of places. But sometimes also here a lot. I’m not magic. But I think some things are. Some people too. So… yeah.” That was a very normal answer, nothing weird about that. 
“Oh, no,” Bex said, shaking her head, “I’m not actually studying history. It’s just a hobby of mine. Or, um-- interest? I just...really like history and anthropology and stuff like that. Like Lora Croft, except I can’t climb mountains or shoot a bow and arrow. Or...do anything athletic like that.” She felt herself getting back into her pattern of rambling about things that didn’t make sense, so she slowed herself down and readjusted. “Oh, well, I guess that’s true. The-- rambling thing. I never really thought about that. Most people just tell me to stop talking, and my mom often tells me it’s not becoming of a lady to talk so much.” She fiddled with the book in her hands as she talked, trying to not let the bitterness in her voice show too much. She’d never been very good at hiding her emotions, but she could easily pretend. She looked over at Sophie as she waited for an answer, noting that she, too, was fidgeting. Seemed they had that in common. She was quiet for a moment, after Sophie finished talking, and she set the book in her hands down. “I don’t know,” she answered finally, “doesn’t it just feel...like a cop out?” she asked, looking over at Sophie. “Deciding that things we can’t explain is just magic? Just leaving it at that? A lot of people have said that same thing, that-- that this town has stuff that’s hard to explain. But, like-- even if it is magic, wouldn’t you want to know? How that works? Where that magic comes from?” She stopped when she realized she was asking too many questions again. “I-- sorry. You don’t have to um...answers any of those.” She quickly stacked up a few more books and made another pillar, pushing together the three she’d made to form a small wall. “Look,” she said with a small flourish of her hand, “a wall.” Maybe they could just move on from that topic. Maybe they should.
“Hobbies are good. They can still be focused. Um, I mean… are their certain cultures or things in history you like best? It just helps to get specific. For the books. I have them organized by subject.” Bex wasn’t the only one who could ramble. Sophie shouldn’t have been so relieved that they had that in common. Talking to people was hard. Talking to pretty girls was even harder. And Bex was very pretty. Caution still weighing on her, Sophie hesitated. The whole ‘magic is real and might be hiding under your bed at night to eat you’ talk wasn’t usually a fun one. Slowly, she shrugged. “I don’t know about that. That it’s for things we can’t explain, I mean. I want to explain it. Or know how it works. That’s… that’s what some of these books are about. Understanding it, looking at the pieces and how they fit together. That’s why science isn’t magic, right? Because we know how it works. Everything can be explained, you just have to look close and figure out why it works the way it does.” She paused, setting down the book before she could worry the cover into a worse state. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. It’s… sort of my job to help with questions like that. So if you have more, I can try to help. I can’t do magic, but I know about it.” Sometimes she didn’t like that. Reading about all these fantastic things and never getting to really be part of them. But other times… most times, it seemed better that way. Less dangerous. She was watching a storm from a distance, not caught up in the middle of it. “That’s a good wall. We should make another over here. And then, uh, the blankets. For a roof.” 
“I mean, how can I choose, really? But I love the Neolithic era. There’s not many texts on it because we don’t really know a lot, but there’s a few active digs going that have discovered new ancient villages that might actually date back to the era! Can you even imagine what it’d be like to walk through one of those? To see how the first humans lived?” Bex couldn’t keep her mouth shut, could she? She paused to clear her throat and grab another few stacks of books, setting the “magic” and “ghost” texts aside for now. She slowed down a little as she contemplated Sophie’s words. “So then...how do you explain it? Um-- magic?” Her curiosity always got the best of her. It was her best and worst quality. Even if she didn’t fully believe in magic-- or that she was magic-- she was still infinitely curious. Because how couldn’t she be? She’d always been that way. Maybe there was an analogy there, but she was bad at literary comparisons. “Your job? What’s your job? How do you help people with...stuff like this?” She couldn’t help but feel a spark of hope. Maybe Sophie would have an answer, somewhere in these books, or inside her head, or maybe even in the bookfort. They would sit down and all the answers would come to Bex and she’d finally feel like she had some sort of grasp or control on her life. It was a long shot, but she could hope, right? She did as she was instructed and started stacking the books for the last wall. “Can you tell me about it? About what you um-- know about magic?” 
“Oh yeah! I mean, I can’t really imagine it, but I know what you mean. It’s really cool. I think I have some books about that, I’ll look. It’s hard to keep track of them all.” Bex’s enthusiasm was infectious. That wasn’t one of Sophie’s areas, but it was still fascinating. All history was. Every bit of it added to the bigger picture. She frowned, thinking. “It’s like… gravity. And magnetism. No… it’s more like… energy. It’s the movement and control of energy, I think. If a spellcaster is a generator, they have energy they can use to power other things, but a spellcaster is a smart generator. A battery doesn’t decide how to use its energy, but a spellcaster can. If that makes sense.” This was where words became difficult. Sophie had never cast a spell herself, she had never even thought to try. She was boring, human. Her understanding would always be limited that way. But she could still try. “I’m, um… I’m a scribe. That probably doesn’t mean anything to you. But um, there used to be a lot of people like me. People who would study these things. These books, most of them were written by scribes. We keep track of the information and we pass it on. That’s what we’re for. We study, um… things people can’t explain. And magic. I don’t know as much as a caster, but I’ve read a lot of books about it. I understand the theory. I… I could show you those books, if you want.” She turned, looking over the books she had dragged out for the fort. Most were pretty boring, the most normal she could find, but there were still some that could be useful. Grabbing one, she turned toward Bex, giving her a little smile as she held it out. “I can try to answer your questions. This is a good place to start. It’s card tricks in the beginning, but the stuff toward the end, that’s all real. Just… ask me what you want to know. If I don’t know the answer, I’m sure I have a book here that does.” 
“Oh,” was all Bex said. Sophie’s explanation actually made sense. A battery. Bex looked down at her hands and clenched and unclenched them a few times. She was a battery, a conduit for energy. Somehow, that just...made sense. It was like what the Zohar texts had talked about-- she had the energy of God inside of her, and she was a conduit for the energy, the power. Like all the mystics before her, written about in those texts. How could it have been so simple? So obvious? Why hadn’t she ever thought of it like that before? She looked back up at Sophie. “That does. Um...make sense.” She finished pushing the last bit of the book wall up before coming over to Sophie as she handed her a book. Bex took it, a tad tentatively, and glanced down at the cover. “A scribe? So, like...scholars of the supernatural?” It made sense. If something existed, someone was bound to try and study it. Bex almost found herself wanting to know how to become one of those. If human culture and history fascinated her, she couldn’t even imagine the things she’d find if she studied supernatural history. If there were even texts on it. If that was a real thing. Still...she needed to accept it was all real, first. She found something in her still pushing back, still telling her to flee. To go back to her normal life. She set the book next to her purse and came back over to Sophie. “Should we put the blanket on now?” she asked, trying to decide what-- if anything-- she wanted to ask her about. She settled on the one she’d asked almost everyone. “So...did you um-- grow up with this stuff, then? Knowing about the supernatural and, like...magic?”
It made sense? Oh, yeah. Of course it did. Sophie had thought about it a lot before, magic, but talking about it, saying the things out loud… that was new. That uncertainty with herself, it wasn’t comfortable. She had been such a know-it-all when she was younger, everyone had said so. And she hadn’t minded. No, it was a badge of honor, because sometimes, she did in fact know it all. That wasn’t something to be ashamed of. “Yeah. My family, um, they all used to be scribes too. It’s just me now, but I want to keep it going. All the books here--this is our library. We’ve been maintaining it for ages.” She grabbed a blanket at Bex’s prompting offering her one side as she set to work fixing the corners in place, pinning them between a few heavier books. “We need to secure the roof. Then we just… make it comfortable inside. I grabbed lots of pillows.” She had assembled quite the pile of them. Some were a bit musty, but they were still pretty comfortable. “I did. It’s always been my normal. Knowing about these things. It’s harder acting like I don’t know. But I know it’s tough, if you don’t grow up with it. There’s… a lot. I’ve been studying it my whole life and I still don’t know everything, I probably never will. I don’t know if anyone can.” She gave Bex a small smile. “But it’s okay to start small. When did you find out?”
“I think that’s pretty noble of you,” Bex said, watching Sophie as she grabbed the blanket and handed a side to Bex. She copied her and tucked her side under some particularly heavier looking books. “To want to keep something like this going, and...sharing it with others. Even without your family.” Bex wasn’t sure she could relate to that, but maybe Sophie’s family actually meant something to her, maybe they actually loved her the way Bex’s family was supposed to love her. Maybe she’d want to continue the family business if she could just hear them say it once. “It’s a pretty amazing collection. And I’m sure this is only a little part of it. I’d love to see the rest, some day. You know, i-if you want. If that’s okay.” She glanced over at the pillows and blankets Sophie had acquired and it began to click in her head that she would be in very close proximity with her if they actually went inside. She swallowed, cleared her throat. “Find out?” She snapped back to the current conversation, blinking. “I-- oh. You mean about...about the supernatural. Yeah. Um-- a few months ago, technically. But I uh...didn’t exactly wanna believe at first. But then a bunch of things happened and it just got harder and harder to deny any of it. I still don’t really...know how to comprehend a lot of it, but that’s why I want to read. I wanna know. I wanna learn. I wanna understand. You know?” She grabbed some of the pillows and bent down to nestle them inside the book fort. “Where um-- where you suggest starting, then? If someone wanted to...learn more.”
“It’s tough sometimes. I’m… not really a people person. My dad was, he was better at this. But… I don’t know, doing this helps me remember them. I think it’s what they would want for me.” Sophie could still remember the late nights she would stay up reading, how sometimes her father would find her still there the next morning. He always looked so proud. Maybe, if some part of him was haunting the place, he still was. “Oh. Um. Sure. Of course. That’s what it’s here for. The library, for people to look at and learn things. We can go look at it later. I’m still reorganizing things, but there’s a pretty good section about magic.” She grabbed a few pillows and ducked under the blanket setting them up in the fort. It was a little cramped now that she was inside, the forts had seemed so much bigger when she was a child. But there should still be room for the both of them. “It’s kind of hard to take in,” she said, with an understanding nod. “But that’s good, um, wanting to learn more about it. I think it gets a little less scary once you know more. It seems less… unpredictable then, I think.” She settled in, pulling one of the pillows onto her lap. Where to start? Now that was a million dollar question. She put a hand to her chin, running through the magical texts in her head. “Well, that depends on what you want to learn. For magic, I would say either start with some more theoretical texts, or if, um, you kind of learn by doing, I think there are a few books with some pretty basic spells. Can you… do magic? Oh, uh, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.” 
“I don’t think you really have to be a big people person to want to share your knowledge with others,” Bex answered quietly. “I think...you can take it at your own pace, and-- as long as it’s what you wanna do, too, then...I’m sure they’d be proud.” She gave a gentle smile, she was good at those, despite the ungentle nature of her life. “I would really appreciate that, if we could.” The fort was complete and Sophie was crawling inside now. It looked cozy, if a bit cramped. That didn’t seem so bad, though. She’d learned that being close to people actually felt nice. Their warmth, their comfort. Morgan and Nell and Mina had all helped with that. She crawled in next to Sophie and leaned back, looking up at the blanket they’d chosen to cover the fort with. “Stars,” she smiled, then looked over at Sophie. “Clever.” Huh, she hadn’t expected that question. Bex drew her brows together. She needed to learn to not hate that part of herself, didn’t she? She needed to learn that it was okay to share it with others. She grabbed a pillow of her own and clutched it to her stomach. “I can,” she said into the pillow, “do magic.” Swallowed as she chanced a look at Sophie. The same expression, settled behind a frame of wire glasses. “I just found out...a few months ago. And it’s been sort of a struggle. To-- understand it all.” She unraveled her hands from the pillow and looked at her palms as if they had been hiding the answers from her the whole time. “To...connect with that part of myself. Is there-- do you have any books on that?”
“I think so too. The scribe stuff, it’s… kind of a legacy thing. Or it was, there’s not many of us now. But you would inherit your family library and add to it and then pass it on.” It might not sound like much, but it felt big. Sophie was a link in a long chain. There were diaries of grandparents and great-great-great grandparents tucked away in the library. She had added a few of her own to the pile. But even so, there was always that dread, that thought deep down. There had been such a long string of scribes before her… and she could very easily end it. The fort was comfortable, it should be. She had picked all the best blankets and pillows and left a few books inside for good measure. Looking up at the starry sheet, she smiled. That had been Oliver’s old blanket… “My brother’s,” she said, softly. “He always liked making these forts best.” That made sense, that Bex could. People usually didn’t ask unless they could or they had seen someone else do some kind of magic. She nodded slowly, taking it in. “That must be hard. I… I can’t really imagine not knowing. It’s so much. Do you, um, know what kind of magic you can do? A lot of people specialize. There’s some things that just come easier or make more sense. Magic is big. There’s a lot to know.” Brow furrowing slightly in thought, Sophie drummed her fingers on one of the ancient books. “I think so. There’s, um, a lot of diaries, witches’ diaries. I’ve read some, a lot of them had trouble coming to terms with things too. Would that help? Knowing it’s not just you?”
A legacy to pass on was something Bex could relate to, though somehow she supposed Sophie was a bit more eager to carry hers. Bex wanted nothing to do with her family’s legacy at this point, but she still felt as if her choice in the matter meant nothing. One day, they would come and whisk her away and shove her back into that life and then her dreams of this happier, freer life would be over. She settled in more, turning her head to look at Sophie. “Is it a legacy you...want to continue?” she pondered a moment. “I don’t think you should, you know...have to, if it’s not something you want to do. Even if you feel like you do.” If only she could listen to her own words. How many times had Morgan told her that, anyway? She supposed it didn’t apply to herself. Her choices weren’t real. She reached up and traced a few of the stars with her finger. “Do you make them to remind you of him?” she asked quietly, wondering what it must feel like to have had a family that loved you, only to lose them. Wondering if she’d trade what she had now for something like that. “I feel...left out, I guess. Like...this is the world I was supposed to be part of, but no one told me. They just let me go on thinking I was wrong or broken somehow and now I’m supposed to just...accept it, like I didn’t already have a normal reality.” She crinkled her nose. “I want to feel less alone, I guess. Less...confused. Every other person I’ve talked to has either always been in this or been around it and I feel...alone.” She looked back over at Sophie. “Any books that can help with that?”
“It is.” Sophie was sure of that… even if Bex going on gave her pause. It wasn’t really something she had ever thought about giving up. For so long, getting back here, picking up where her father left off, it had been her only real goal. Apart from staying alive. She frowned a little, looking to the books they had stacked up. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. I… I had to leave for a while. I didn’t really have a choice on that one. Getting back here and… doing this again. I don’t know. It feels right. I didn’t really know how much I missed it until I got back.” She tipped her head back, looking at the little stars. With a very small smile, she nodded. “Yeah. We used to try to make constellations on it. Just, y’know, silly ones. See these stars here,” she said, tracing a little pattern, “I used to call that Big Bird. Oliver said it looked more like a microscope.” The memory didn’t hurt quite as much as she expected it to. It did sort of look like a microscope now. She glanced over the books again, biting at the inside of her mouth. Maybe she should have brought some of the weirder ones out actually. “So your parents aren’t magic? That happens sometimes. Most people are raised with it, but not everyone.” Sophie slowly turned her eyes from the books to look at Bex. “I’m… not sure a book will make that better. That’s a people thing. But you’re finding that now, right? People who know. I was… away from this, for a while. I didn’t have to be normal, but I wasn’t here. And it felt wrong. I was missing this. It’s different than you, but… I think I kind of know. It’s not the thing one book can fix.” She sat up and shuffled toward the entrance of the fort, looking back at Bex with a little smile. “But maybe a lot can. Let me show you the magic room.”
“Well, I mean,” Bex started, “if you really do want to, then I think that’s okay. As long as it’s, you know, what you want.” If only she could follow her own advice. If only she had the choice to. She turned her head to look over at Sophie as she traced her eyes along the spines of the books. “It’s nice to find something that makes you feel good, isn’t it?” Bex had found hers, but she didn’t know if she could grasp it. Not yet, though. Maybe one day. Maybe. She turned back to watch Sophie trace along the sheets. “I think it looks like a microscope, too,” she agreed, nodding. Technically, she couldn’t see either of them, but it was nice to pretend, and it was nice to see Sophie smile. Her face fell a little when the subject turned back to magic, and her parents. The truth was that she didn’t know if her parents were magic, but she supposed the answer no, considering their aversion to hers, and the anger they expressed whenever she used it. “No, I don’t think they are. They were just as confused as me when things started happening. I think they’re...scared of it. They told me to hide it and keep it from happening.” She swallowed. “Yeah, my friend told me that, too. That-- most people are raised with it but I guess this happens sometimes. Where someone with non-magic parents is born with magic.” She wasn’t sure she liked that idea. She didn’t want to be any more different than she already was. She sighed, as if Sophie’s answer wasn’t the already obvious one. “I know..” she mumbled, looking back up at the sheets. “I am. And it’s nice! It’s greater, they’re all great, really! I just-- guess it’s hard for them to understand. How I feel. It’s different, because they’ve never known a life without all this. And I have.” Sophie was shifting, now, and Bex sat up, following her out. Her smile was warm. “You have a magic room?”
“I just said it is,” Sophie said, biting back a frown. Why was Bex pushing it? Did she not seem happy? Well… she probably didn’t. But that wasn’t because of scribe things. That was just… her. Being happy was kind of a foreign concept most days. But she was working on it, remembering how it worked, what it felt like. “Yeah, it is. I was… in a bad place, for a while. I couldn’t really leave, or do things I wanted to do. But I can now. So it’s better.” She tried not to make a face at how vague she sounded. But Bex was new to this, she was still adjusting to magic. She didn’t need to hear the worst parts. Supernatural things could be scary, but she didn’t need to have that thrown in her face. “It’s hard to explain if you don’t already know what’s going on. People don’t want to believe in it a lot of the time. And I get that, but… I think that just makes it harder later.” Denial was tough. Sophie had seen plenty of people come for information and then throw books back in her father’s face when it was too much for them to handle. “Everyone learns about things differently, even if they’re born with it, they don’t know everything. Some people know a lot about magic, but they don’t know anything about werewolves or ghosts. Um, which are also real, just… in case you didn’t know that yet.” She straightened up as she stepped out of the fort and motioned for Bex to follow her. “It’s upstairs. I think you’re going to like it.” 
“Yes, sorry! Sorry, I just meant like-- never mind,” Bex said, shaking her head. Her heart hurt a little as Sophie’s voice fell and she explained what she’d meant. She bit her lip. “I-- I’m sorry. That you were in a bad place. But I-- I’m glad you’re here now. And that you can do this, do what you want. What-- makes you happy.” She crawled out of the fort and stood up, brushing the knees of her tights off as she did so, looking back up at Sophie. She felt a bit of shame tinge her cheeks-- that had been her, not too long ago. She’d been in such heavy denial, she’d blown up a computer lab in front of Nell and still refused to believe her right away. She’d needed to not believe her, back then. But she did now, and that was what mattered, right? She was working on it now. She drew in a breath and looked back at Sophie and this time she had enough confidence to smile, and nod, and follow behind her. “I can’t wait.” And she meant it. “Oh, and uh-- yeah. Yep. I know werewolves are a thing. That’s a big nope for me.”
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alch3mic · 4 days ago
Papa Bear fluff please? For the writing prompts
The first kiss you received was placed oh so gently on to your cheek after he brushed a few strands of hair away.
The second was placed a little lower, right against the curve of your jaw as his hand lightly slipped underneath your shirt to feel the warmth of your skin.
The third easily found itself upon your neck, lasting a little bit longer than the others as he let out a small sigh of content.
And the fourth was-
“Babe...”
Your tired and sleep filled tone was met with a small grumble from the large skeleton who currently had his arms wrapped around you, his face currently buried within your neck as he placed another tender kiss along it’s surface.
“hmm?”
“...What are you doing?”
“......kissin’ you...”
“I noticed,” you giggled, turning your head a bit so you could plant a kiss of your own along Sans’ temple. “You know what else I noticed?”
“...hmmm?”
“It’s 2 am.”
“...mhm...”
A beat passed while he placed another kiss along your neck.
“...Why are you smooching me at 2 am?”
“cause i love you.”
You couldn’t help but actually laugh this time both from his sweet response and from the ticklish kiss he placed right against the crook of your neck, making your body scrunch in defense.
“Sans!” you complained in your half hearted attempts at defending yourself, earning yourself a deep chuckle that rumbled in his ribcage.
“...yes, pumpkin?”
Oh you could hear it in his tone, he was teasing you now. So that’s how it was going to be, huh?
“I think you missed a spot,” you said slyly, turning to lay on your back as Sans lifted his head to look at you.
That single white eyelight of his pierced through the darkness of your bedroom as it admired you, seeming to roam over your whole face as if trying to figure out exactly where he missed.
You lightly tapped your lips, watching as his cheeks seem to light up in a dusting of magic, making you giggle.
“Right here, big guy.”
He smiled, slowly leaning in towards you as you closed your eyes in anticipation for him to finally kiss you...
...Except...
.........
.......?
What was he-
“Eep!”
You quickly slapped a hand over your mouth at the sound you let out, another rumbling laugh spilling out from Sans as he released his gentle bite upon your earlobe.
“Sans!” you very quietly hissed, lightly smacking his shoulder.
“...what?...thought you said i missed a spot..” he hummed, that teasing note still in his tone.
“I was talking about my lips you dork!”
“.....i know,” he laughed, placing another kiss upon your cheek as you pouted. “.....i just... like savin’ the best for last... and that’s when i noticed i missed... a few more spots..”
You couldn’t even be that angry with how cute his crooked smile was. Still...!
“Stars above, at least warn me next time! Hopefully I didn’t wake the kids..” you huffed, trying to listen for any rustling and crying from down the hall from your shout.
Sans on the other hand didn’t seem worried in the slightest and he chuckled again.
“...if they can sleep through a... thunderstorm, then they could probably... sleep through your squeaking..” he mumbled gently, nuzzling you.
“...You’re just trying to justify the fact that you’re going to kiss me more, huh?”
“...mhm..”
Dang it your big ol’ bear of a husband was just waaaay too cute! Especially when he let out one of those deep, grumpily sighs of content as he nuzzled you some more.
“Well.. can I return the favor at least?” you asked softly, making Sans pause briefly before pulling back.
“...m’kay..”
You giggled at the goofy, love struck smile on his face as you cupped his head in your hands.
The very first kiss you planted gently onto his cheekbones, the very same ones still barely lit with magic as they illuminated the space between you two in a soft glow.
The second you placed a little lower, near the edge of his jawbone and following the curve of it back upward..
Right to the third placement of your kiss, near his damaged socket. He let out a much longer sigh as you placed some more tender kisses around the area, being sure to mind the sharper edges and cracks.
You knew that touching here didn’t hurt him in the slightest, a fact that he adamantly reminded you of when the two of you first started dating. The wound was old, he’d remind you, and being cautious of it only made him feel more.. self conscious about it.
Instead he loved it whenever you kissed him here, making the big skeleton practically turn to mush at such soft and gentle touches.
It was happening right now, as he slowly began to sag more and more before he finally collapsed onto the bed beside you, while you now sat up to smooch your teddy bear just a bit more.
“...honey..” he murmured sleepily between your kisses.
Your him turned into a laugh as it caught on to the sweet expression he had on his face. He seemed to gaze up at you with a certain look in his half-lidded eye socket.
“What, did I miss a spot?”
“..mhm...” he said, lightly tapping a claw to his teeth. “...right here..”
“Really? I could’ve sworn I already kissed you there..” you said, tapping your chin thoughtfully.
“..pumpkin...”
His tone was a little needier now, making your heart nearly burst with warmth, but you were determined to tease him just a bit more as payback for biting you earlier.
“Yess..?”
“...please..”
Well how could you possibly say no to that? Especially with the way he was looking at you, that little whit eyelight of his turning into a heart as it admired you so.
“Alright alright.. but only because I love you so much..”
“i love you too.”
He was just too cute.
That’s why you gave him a big ol’ smooch right on that goofy smile of his.
...And several more after that. check out my other writings | feel free to drop me a ko-fi!
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mccngzr · 5 days ago
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                     LATE MUNDAY, HAPPY MUNDAY!  //  accepting! @infernalpursuit​ inquired: 28 ( yes this is an excuse to make u talk about the beta au B) ) 36 and 37 
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oh you, always knowing how to make me write a lot of things i want to write about! :3c
28.   is your muse canon divergent in any way?
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oh, jacques is most definitely canon divergent! while there is no actual lore for the good hunter if not implied, so that you can build your own character in a way, jacques differs from bloodborne’s canon quite a bit further. when thinking about him in this version (since, as a reminder, this is an alternative universe for him, the original has nothing to do with the game) i took a LOT of inspiration for his lore and his story, if i ever get to narrate it in some way how i imagined it, from the alpha bloodborne. the game before it was the game we know and love! there were just... so many interesting concepts in there, especially the alpha bloodborne content in the clinic that are the basics of jacques. so yes, you can say it follows more the alpha bloodborne than the game itself, which makes him quite canon divergent indeed!
futhermore, there are a ton of interpretations and theories involved, especially involving yahar’gul which you, gio, are aware how much it terrifies me, together with the creatures with the bags that can kidnap you if they down you; not to mention blood effects and its extraction. there is a reason why jacques is so desperately trying to stop using blood, after all...
i could talk about the alpha bloodborne of jacques’ story for hours, honestly, and a single post is definitely not enough... but i might - i should, actually - start making some posts every once in a while explaining a bit of divergent worldbuilding i’m making. or i might make those short comics with jacques i have in my mind since forever... those too.
36.   do you feel similar to your muse in any way?
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unfortunately, yes. and i say unfortunately because it’s easily seeable how jacques isn’t... in its best shape, really. and lately, me too - i will admit that i am venting a lot through jacques, so there are similarities between us. wihout going too deep with details, both our lives changed drastically and suddenly (only in very different ways), we both need a hand but it’s so hard to admit it, we’re both pretty melancholic and very scared lately... and we’re both really, really tired. at the same time, though, to say at least one positive thing about myself, i think we’re also both strong. we’re keeping on standing up and walking forward, despite everything. clinging to that certainty that things will get better, and not letting anyone tell us otherwise.
haha, i sound really cool said like this, don’t i?
37.   do you feel different to your muse in any way?
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oh, for that, we’re also very different! we’re definitely not the same person, which makes me let out a sigh of relief. i can safely say that he’s in a situation a lot worse than mine, which makes us live and react differently, and living in much different words also make a big difference. i’m not addicted to substances, which have not altered my personality or mannerism, i have a much more decent sleep schedule that keeps me sane, and i’m learning to stop and take pauses instead of always pushing forward, which he rarely does. at the same time, i’m not nearly brave as he is, and i don’t know how to use a spear or a rifle while he’s an expert. and to be fair, i’m certain there are a lot of other differences, but i’m starting to be sleepy and i can’t focus a lot anymore. but you get the point - in many things we’re very similar, and i relate to him a lot; on others, we are definitely different.
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ectora · 5 days ago
With those posts talking about Poppy being done filming, do you think it's actually in reference to her time on the show, or for the season? We can't know for sure until the end of the season but I'm just tired of wlw ships being so criticized and am looking for some hope about Mel actually having a love interest that has had emotional development on screen. If she is leaving I still won't have attachments to Melby, considering it's developed off screen and that is a hard fix outside flashbacks.
SPOILER ALERT FOR CHARMED END OF SEASON 3 🚨
Unfortunately, as much as I wish I could say it’s just for the season or that the crew is the one changing, I’m pretty certain those posts were about Poppy leaving. Which is breaking my heart because Abigael was actually one of the most interesting characters and she had a lot of potential with different characters.
Like yeah we can’t know until the ep airs but I’d say be careful not to have high hopes for it. It seems pretty likely she’s going.
As for wlw I agree. They’re often over criticised and barely get the same attention than straight. I think unfortunately it’s a bit too late for Melby. The buildup they give it since the beginning was clearly not mean to least and we all know it so it just feels weird especially cause she show isn’t making any effort to give us any content. At this point the only thing they can really do if poppy is really leaving is to bring a whole new love interest.
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floraluniversal · 6 days ago
🟠 Orange - ⚫ Black  - ⚪ White - 🟤 Brown - 🟣 Purple - 🟡 Yellow
Munday asks
🟠 Orange - Do you see any similarities between you and your muse? 
Where do you think Stephanie gets all her baggage from XD? I use some of my characters as ways to deal with aspects of myself that I’m not happy with, they are essentially a slice of me, but with differently seasoned breading (as stupid as that sounds) Giving them a part of myself, however small, makes them feel more human and makes them easier for me to write.
Her relationship with Celeste is partially based on my relationship with my father. Her awkwardness, her shyness, anxieties, fear of the dark, fear of death, it’s all me. She gets her problems with expressing her feelings (in the canon, she’s more open on this blog) and her doubting that she’s a good person from me as well. She gets a lot from me, it’s just all wrapped in a way cuter package.
⚫ Black  - Do you think you and your muse would be friends in real life?
We would absolutely be friends! I think we’d be a good match for each other’s mental health. I have a hard time sharing, but I’m very good at getting other people comfortable enough to share their problems (I would never use this power for evil, only to help people feel better), and she shares that same trait too! We could be each other’s personal therapist.
⚪ White - What drew you so much to your muse?
She is the easiest for me to write out of all my characters, she is the cutest and the most interesting in my opinion. And after all it took to shape her into who she is today, I am simply super invested in her. I crave that Stephanie content, but I have to make it all myself...
🟤 Brown - What is a headcannon you are particularly proud of?
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My brain is empty right now, I’ll get back to you on this one later. Also all my headcannons are cannon
🟣 Purple - Is there a fandom you are in that’s unrelated to this muse?
I don’t know actually... I spend so much time thinking about my own story that I can’t think of a fandom that I’d properly be in. Steven Universe, maybe? Corpse Party? I guess? I dunno, brain empty, I’m tired.
🟡 Yellow - What is the best motivation for you to write your muse?
Escaping stress. That’s the reason why I came up with my world in the first place. It works well until roleplaying starts stressing me out as much as the thing I tried to escape from. Also my fave mutuals being active gets me real motivated and excited to write.
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edensadik · 7 days ago
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𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 04.02.2021 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 : 02:10 am  𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: eden’s apartment  𝐅𝐓: @samirkotecha​
it’s ten minutes past two, she realizes as the numbers pop up bright and clear on her illuminating phone screen, but the notion of actually going to sleep and getting some rest before another mind-numbing day at work seems like a foreign concept now. it is not for lack of trying, it’s worth noting, as she spent the last three hours on cleaning her apartment, bathing bayezid and poor attempts at baking turkish desserts. from changing her bed sheets and making sure that they always smell of jasmine to watering her expensive collection of oriental plants, cleaning their leaves and aerating their soil, she truly had her hands full, content with the fact that her apartment looked more like a luscious green garden than actual living space, her little paradise on earth. yet even after all of that, she feels as though she might grow a second pair of eyes any second now on the back of her head — another pointless inconvenience to keep her awake. 
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eden doesn't know exactly when or why she fell into this chasm of despair, or if she was just pushed, but to find true peace again she’d have to travel to a place that now only exists in her head. pensive, dreaming awake, she mustn’t let her mind wander or else she’ll drown, get caught in a fisherman’s neat woven out of false hope. satiated and tired, her heart no longer wishes to feed itself with faux hope, at least not tonight, when it’s filled to the brim with worry and trepidation. carman, her friends, and the night of february second all come to her mind and she can’t help but think if all her suffering is for nothing. what if wisdom doesn’t await her, what if it doesn’t bloom inside of her like a late autumn flower? 
interrupting her own train of thoughts, she picks up her phone again, gentle fingers hovering over the screen in a pure state of indecisiveness until she stumbles upon an all-too-familiar name. samir. she dials his number, and the phone rings once, then twice while she chides herself for calling him so late. wake up, samir. please. at last the line clicks. “hey sam, it’s eden. i'm sorry if i woke you up, but i'm all alone... and i can’t stop thinking about the night when they broke the truce... and i’m petrified... and would you like to come over and watch a movie with me? i even made a dessert.”
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larry-deamus · 8 days ago
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I literally did just make myself a new account for no reason, and I have decided to do all my requests over here instead because apparently I want them separated from my other account... don’t ask, I’m too tired to think.
So please message me requests because I actually do love writing them. I also didn’t put any girls or they/them (that I know of) in there as I don’t want to offend anyone by assuming what it would be like to date females or they/them. I myself am straight but I do have many friends who are apart of the lgbtqia+ community and some of them are very sensitive, so I just want to be careful (:
I write for:
(5SOS)
Luke Hemmings
Ashton Irwin
Micheal Clifford
Calum Hood
(1D)
Harry Styles
Niall Horan
Louis Tomlinson
Liam Payne
Zayn Malik
(Harry Potter)
Harry Potter
Fred Weasley
George Weasley
Bill Weasley
Charlie Weasley
Draco Malfoy
Cedric Diggory
James Potter
Sirius Black
Remus Lupin
(Avengers/Marvel)
James ‘Bucky’ Barnes
Steve Rogers
Pietro Maximoff
Loki Laufeyson
Peter Parker
Thor Odinson
(Avengers/Marvel Cast)
Chris Evans
Sebastian Stan
Tom Holland
Tom Hiddleston
(Other)
Steve Harrington
Gale Hawthorne
I’m also open for other ideas
I don’t write:
Smut or 18+ content
Pedophilia
Incest
I also might say no to asks/change them slightly if they have anything else I’m not comfortable writing
What to specify in your ask:
Gender of reader (she/her, they/them, ext.)
If you want the reader to be POC
If it’s platonic or romantic
Storyline, as basic or as specific as you want (more specific helps, but if your stuck don’t worry!)
Any other information you think I should include/know
Please let me know if any of the posts should include certain trigger warnings or if they insult you in any way and I will remove them straight away or add a trigger warning!
I get that you haven’t seen my writing as I haven’t posted any but I would love it if you could request!
Lots of love, Liv xx
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smokeybrandreviews · 9 days ago
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Out To Pasture
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There is a ton of Capeflick content in the last few months. Disney+ has been shilling the completely-adequate-but-sometimes-brilliant, character specific shows and Invincible was brilliantly written but corny as f*ck animation; Both of which dropped after that marathon of dookie water, the Snydercut. It's f*cking May, man. I did not expect this much content. I Should of, it's been a year since we've had any of it, but the sh*t is bordering on overexposure. Today, Jupiter's Legacy drops on Netflix, yet another original take on the Capeflick and i gotta go watch THAT now.
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Look, i love superhero sh*t. I was raised on them. My entire generation grew up watching Spider-Man, X-Men, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Adventure of Superman. Easily the best versions of those characters until really recently. Wolverine and the X-Men was dope as f*ck. That show deserved better than what it got. Spectacular Spider-Man has since taken the Webbed crown for me, also killed off by the studio long before it' time. When we all got older and anime became popular, the pioneers chosen to ease normies, not me, into the genre leaned heavily on superhero tropes. Dragon Ball Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Sailor Moon proved to be laughably popular, spawning a loyal generation of teenagers who would follow anime for the rest of their lives, even though they gave the people who had been watching the sh*t their entire lives, so much sh*t for watching it before it was “hype”. I'm not mad, you're mad! I'm not even going to get into the direct sub-genre of Cape anime. Tiger and Bunny, My Hero Academia, and One-punch Man, are actual f*cking superhero narratives in the classic sense and they put a lot of our sh*t to shame. Especially One-Punch. That mess is brilliant!
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Of course, I'm not tired of Capesh*t. That sizzle reel Marvel dropped for Phase Four triggered me to revisit Endgame and I'd be lying if i said Shang-Chi might get me back into a theater before I'm ready but it just seems like a lot. It feels like the market is too saturated with content. Well, let me correct that; It feels like the market is saturated with bad content. The Marvel stuff is going to take care of itself. They make excellent sh*t over there and people adore the direction they seem to be going. Pure curiosity, alone, will carry their success into at least Phase Five but the reception of their shows has been pretty good. Loki, I think, will be the home run but, as far as the first entries into a new medium, this feels a lot like Phase One. Time will tell but I bet the MCU shows will get to the level of Russo quality sooner than later. Sony can't make a good Spider-Flick to save their live and banking on building a loosely affiliated, MCU adjacent but still independent, universe of Spider-Man characters where Venom takes the lead, seems wildly unfocused. Venom wasn't great, Morbius looks pedestrian, and Woody Harrleson is definitely miscast as Carnage. That's going to be a trainwreck. No one knows what the f*ck DC and WB are even doing. They're corporate structure is ridiculous and it's poisoning potential all over the place. Amazon got their two franchises and, admittedly, they've been excellent so far, but i have concerns for The Boys going forward. It's starting to feel real Walking Dead-ish with the deviations. Invincible, so far, is pretty good. I don't now how long that last, popular shows on smaller streaming services tend to get way too much attention from the Suits which ends up ruining the content. Plus, they REALLY gotta do something about that animation, man. Again, lifelong anime viewer. Amazon needs to do better.
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I'm going to watch Jupiter's Legacy because of course i am. It's Capesh*t. I love Capesh*t but i am starting to feel the fatigue set it. Not for Marvel. Never for Marvel. That stuff speaks to what's left of the little kid in me but definitely for everything else. I don't particularly care for Reeve's The Batman and could give a sh*t less about the Flashpoint flick. I've never liked the Snyderverse or it's grimdark, edgelord, view of that world. Batman is dope. A team of Batmen is not. Look at what happened with Dark Nights Metal and all of that nonsense. I'm all about independent Cape stories but can we stop trying to capitalize on the deconstruction motif? Kick-Ass, Chronicle, Mystery Men, Brightburn, and Super so this brilliantly and are already a thing. You can watch each of these right now. Like, does Invincible need to be a show when The Wicked + The Damned still hasn't been adapted? God, i long for a live action Lucifer. She was everything to me. I'm going to watch Jupiter's Legacy because of course i am. It's Capesh*t. But I'm going to watch with a little more cynicism because i can the see corporate strings at play. The genre has become too big, too successful, too fast, and it's burning people out. If these studios aren't careful, that comparison of the Capeflick being the new Western will come true. People will stop watching and the whole goddamn genre will be forced to ride off into the sunset.
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smokeybrand · 9 days ago
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Out To Pasture
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There is a ton of Capeflick content in the last few months. Disney+ has been shilling the completely-adequate-but-sometimes-brilliant, character specific shows and Invincible was brilliantly written but corny as f*ck animation; Both of which dropped after that marathon of dookie water, the Snydercut. It's f*cking May, man. I did not expect this much content. I Should of, it's been a year since we've had any of it, but the sh*t is bordering on overexposure. Today, Jupiter's Legacy drops on Netflix, yet another original take on the Capeflick and i gotta go watch THAT now.
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Look, i love superhero sh*t. I was raised on them. My entire generation grew up watching Spider-Man, X-Men, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Adventure of Superman. Easily the best versions of those characters until really recently. Wolverine and the X-Men was dope as f*ck. That show deserved better than what it got. Spectacular Spider-Man has since taken the Webbed crown for me, also killed off by the studio long before it' time. When we all got older and anime became popular, the pioneers chosen to ease normies, not me, into the genre leaned heavily on superhero tropes. Dragon Ball Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Sailor Moon proved to be laughably popular, spawning a loyal generation of teenagers who would follow anime for the rest of their lives, even though they gave the people who had been watching the sh*t their entire lives, so much sh*t for watching it before it was “hype”. I'm not mad, you're mad! I'm not even going to get into the direct sub-genre of Cape anime. Tiger and Bunny, My Hero Academia, and One-punch Man, are actual f*cking superhero narratives in the classic sense and they put a lot of our sh*t to shame. Especially One-Punch. That mess is brilliant!
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Of course, I'm not tired of Capesh*t. That sizzle reel Marvel dropped for Phase Four triggered me to revisit Endgame and I'd be lying if i said Shang-Chi might get me back into a theater before I'm ready but it just seems like a lot. It feels like the market is too saturated with content. Well, let me correct that; It feels like the market is saturated with bad content. The Marvel stuff is going to take care of itself. They make excellent sh*t over there and people adore the direction they seem to be going. Pure curiosity, alone, will carry their success into at least Phase Five but the reception of their shows has been pretty good. Loki, I think, will be the home run but, as far as the first entries into a new medium, this feels a lot like Phase One. Time will tell but I bet the MCU shows will get to the level of Russo quality sooner than later. Sony can't make a good Spider-Flick to save their live and banking on building a loosely affiliated, MCU adjacent but still independent, universe of Spider-Man characters where Venom takes the lead, seems wildly unfocused. Venom wasn't great, Morbius looks pedestrian, and Woody Harrleson is definitely miscast as Carnage. That's going to be a trainwreck. No one knows what the f*ck DC and WB are even doing. They're corporate structure is ridiculous and it's poisoning potential all over the place. Amazon got their two franchises and, admittedly, they've been excellent so far, but i have concerns for The Boys going forward. It's starting to feel real Walking Dead-ish with the deviations. Invincible, so far, is pretty good. I don't now how long that last, popular shows on smaller streaming services tend to get way too much attention from the Suits which ends up ruining the content. Plus, they REALLY gotta do something about that animation, man. Again, lifelong anime viewer. Amazon needs to do better.
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I'm going to watch Jupiter's Legacy because of course i am. It's Capesh*t. I love Capesh*t but i am starting to feel the fatigue set it. Not for Marvel. Never for Marvel. That stuff speaks to what's left of the little kid in me but definitely for everything else. I don't particularly care for Reeve's The Batman and could give a sh*t less about the Flashpoint flick. I've never liked the Snyderverse or it's grimdark, edgelord, view of that world. Batman is dope. A team of Batmen is not. Look at what happened with Dark Nights Metal and all of that nonsense. I'm all about independent Cape stories but can we stop trying to capitalize on the deconstruction motif? Kick-Ass, Chronicle, Mystery Men, Brightburn, and Super so this brilliantly and are already a thing. You can watch each of these right now. Like, does Invincible need to be a show when The Wicked + The Damned still hasn't been adapted? God, i long for a live action Lucifer. She was everything to me. I'm going to watch Jupiter's Legacy because of course i am. It's Capesh*t. But I'm going to watch with a little more cynicism because i can the see corporate strings at play. The genre has become too big, too successful, too fast, and it's burning people out. If these studios aren't careful, that comparison of the Capeflick being the new Western will come true. People will stop watching and the whole goddamn genre will be forced to ride off into the sunset.
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marcos-writing · 10 days ago
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Self-inflicted.
I need to teach myself a lesson, I have been slacking, off task, unmotivated, undisciplined and I am losing everything that I have gained from all the hard work that I had put in. Every time I take these steps forward I am going too easy on myself afterwards and my progress is going to waste, I am taking the same steps back as I am taking forward and I just end up going in circles and eventually get back to the same place that I started from. This positive mind-set is not working, I am being too nice to myself, giving myself grace when I want to have a break, letting myself have too much time to rest and recover when I need to be pushing it to the limit every single day. I am angry at myself for not learning, for not making any lasting progress so I need to change my approach to what I am doing, I need to dictate my life, create huge stress, make myself hurt and suffer because I have let myself down too many times. It feels good to self-inflict pain because there is nobody else that I am more unhappy with, more disappointed in and hate more than myself so I am finally going to get where I want to go by burning this anger that I have for who I am right now. This abuse that you are having to enforce upon yourself may be okay for a time, you may get the results you are looking for because this feeling of hatred can be a strong driver for change but the self you have built from these flames are based on anger towards who you are; will you ever be able to turn that feeling off once you get to this perceived place of where you were wanting to be or will that not be enough anymore? Your improvement and progress of who you are, mentally and physically, will be engrained and rooted in pure anger and there is just no way to move into a place of being content and finally accepting of who you are when your fuel to get there was the opposite. You hold yourself accountable for the mistakes you have made in the past, what food you did or did not eat, what exercise you refused to do and what choices you did or did not make. Holding these mistakes over your head while you try to get to a better place will not mean that you all of a sudden move above them, it only means that you are still under their control and that they are still weighing you down. If the mistakes that you made were so severe then you would not be here at the moment, you will not be in the position to make these new arrangements for yourself so instead of letting them weigh you down, strip them off and put them aside because they will be of no aid on this journey. Life is a struggle enough without you having to make it even worse for yourself by holding a knife to your own back; you can still struggle, still improve and still get to a better place without having to hate yourself to get the ball rolling. Start by operating in a place where you actually look forward to who you will end up being once you start to work on what you are doing, be conscious of your own vices and make the changes necessary where you decrease the impact that they will have on you by not tempting yourself with even small doses. When you are thinking clearly make the changes then to cut down what you know you cannot be trusted doing when you are tired and are not as motivated as those bad habits will catch you off guard and you will let yourself down. If you want to end up in a place of being happy with whom you eventually are then you need to work on starting in a place where you are already happy with whom you are and excited for what you are going to do instead of inflicting pain because you feel you deserve it when you don’t.
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starlight-writes-stuff · 11 days ago
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camping hc’s w/ the feral boys <3
AYO LOOK AT THESE : implied smut if u look hard enough , but really just some cute , fluffy feral boys content lol . these ended up being really fun to write so let me know if u have any other ideas for more hc’s !! ily , starlight ☁
reblogs are always appreciated !!! <3
all as a group - 
god help us all this would be a MESS
you guys would get one of those massive tents that have separate rooms for everyone
s’mores are a guarantee
alex and clay would light their marshmallows on fire
and chase each other around with them
karl is FOCUSED on getting the perfect golden roast
sapnap keeps nudging him to mess the marshmallow up
george literally has his marshmallow in the fire for .2 seconds
clay would give him so much shit for it and the two of them would “argue”
but george would end up breaking his smore in half for clay
and feeding it to him most likely 
alex would bring his guitar and play it while everyone sat around the fire
sapnap would definitely start singing ‘campfire song’ from spongebob
everyone would pick up
and dissolve into laughter
clay would be the first to bring up telling scary stories
you’d be scared as shit from the words he was crafting
youd sandwich yourself between karl and alex
alex would poke your waist , jumpscaring you
and you’d pout saying you’re going to bed
youd walk into the tent
they would all C O M P L A I N but eventually join you
at least one of them pees on the fire “to make sure its completely out”
george would ‘knock’ on the tent to see if you were dressed
because they’re respectful , your honor
everyone would meet in the main part of the tent with sleeping bags and pillows and blankets
completley abandoning all the separate rooms
you’d all take turns talking about nothing at all really
making stupid jokes
if you fell asleep first , clay and george would make everyone whisper
you need your beauty sleep
they’d all fade pretty fast after that
but karl would wake everyone to watch the sunrise together
dream -
would have the top of the line camping equipment
even if it was for like
a two day trip
he’d go to an outdoor store and come home with an entire car full of camping shit
a portable grill
a blowup mattress
the nicest two person tent money could buy
the full nine yards
would put you in charge of planning meals
which is probably a good idea
has had the campsite booked for months
somewhere by a lake
“clay , we literally live by the ocean”
“it’s not the same , baby”
he’s right , its not
would take a mini road trip to get there
he’d make sure to stop at all the tourist traps along the way
you two would end up with a bunch of fruit from a roadside stand
once you finally got there
the tent would essentially pitch itself
he’d do the car salesman slap on the nylon
“best tent money can buy”
you’d probably take a nap , tired from the drive
by the time clay shook you awake the sun was setting
so he'd fire up his little camping grill
pls he’d geek out so hard over it
you’d be awake from the nap
so clay would light a lantern and the two of you would just 
wander around the campsite holding hands
you two would absolutely go swimming at midnight
clay would pick you up in the water 
and have you wrap your legs around him like a koala
he’d pepper your face with kisses
then dunk you under the water
once you two got out you’d get in pajamas
and clay wouldn’t be able to inflate the air mattress
he forgot the pump
but you brought sleeping bags just incase
you two would fall asleep as close as two people in sleeping bags possibly could
sapnap -
would insist on being the manliest man
like would collect firewood and everything
he’d show off the axe he brought
then would chop the wood
he's gloating smh
and would get 125670 % more overprotective when you wanted to try
would stand behind you and show you how to swing
would guide your arms and everything
but would stand like
10 feet away
when you went to actually swing
spooked by how hard you chopped
but also proud ???
would build a fire as it got dark
and tell you how pretty you looked in the light from the flames
he’d be pretty old school w camping food
would stab a poker through hotdogs
he’d help you roast yours , rotating it so it cooked even
would forget the buns and condiments
“i thought we had everything!”
the two of you would die of laughter
just eating ur hotdogs
off of the pokers
however
would remember a stash of candy and snacks
so you end up eating those too
nick would have the tent up in less than five minutes
“fastest tent pitcher on this side of the mississip” 😎
would bring it up 13790 times
he would find a way to zip your sleeping bags up together so it's one big franken-bag
he’s so warm
keeps you toasty
George -
camping was most likely your idea
but gogs is all for it
gets really excited and buys a two person sleeping bag
“so we can still cuddle”
you’d bring all your camping equipment so you had a pad to sleep on
“sleeping on the ground hurts , baby”
“isn't that the whole point ?”
would have his hand on your thigh as he drove to the campsite
and would play loud music the whole way there
with all the windows down
you two would set up camp while it was still light
both struggling™
to get the tent up
it would take y’all like an hour
and both of you would be all sweaty after wrestling with it
so george would change into swimming trunks and wait on you to put on a bathing suit
then he would piggyback you to the lake
running straight into the cold water while you scREAMED
you’d smack him so he’d let you down
then you’d splash him
a splash war would ensue
george would grab your hands , threading them through his
“be nice to me >:,(“
you’d get all soft and wrap your arms around him
the two of you would swim for h o u r s
until someone got hungry
you’d show gogs how to make a campfire
he’d knock over your demonstration
“i want to try”
would nail it on the first shot
you'd be baffled but entirely impressed
after dinner he would show off the oversized sleeping bag
you two would get in together , legs tangled
would probably download movies on his phone beforehand for you guys to watch
he’d fall asleep first , lulled to bed by the sounds of outside
Karl -
loves camping so much
just loves outside in general
would already have a bunch of gear
but would insist on finding a way for you two to be able to sleep together
we all know this boys love language is touch
even in his sleep he needs some sort of skin to skin contact
would buy a camping bed
i feel like karl would want to make “real camping food”
so he’d do hotdogs
and those foil packet thingies with potatoes and corn
he’d show you how to seal they foil and bury it in the coals properly
would scrunch his nose at you while you messed the wrapping up on purpose
“let me do it for you , baby”
would proceed to do it for you
he’d take 100000000000 pictures of you 
in the sunset lighting
the campfire lighting
the moon lighting
because he cant help how beautiful you look
would feed you bites of vegetable in between your hot dog
“are you staying hydrated?”
brought juice boxes , too
he’d set up a place for you guys to stargaze
and would point out all the constellations
yall would make up your own too , giving them full backstories
he’d slow dance with you under the moon until it got too cold to be outside
the two of you would … take advantage of the camping bed
crossing ‘outside’ off the bucket list 😌
by day 3 he was tired of his traditional camping food
would beg you for some of your snacks
you’d feed him oreos and fruit snacks while you guys hiked
Quackity -
was not down™
at first
but once he saw how excited you were 
he would be all in
would go to a camping store with you and pick out equipment
alex would insist on getting the stereotypical camping cookware
“we have to !!!”
“no we dont???”
“yes we do 😤”
would refuse to sleep on the ground
buys one of those camping pad things
would buy a two person sleeping bag as well
“if im doing this im at LEAST sleeping next to you”
you’d beg him to bring his guitar and play it at the campfire
he’d sing you soft songs while you toasted marshmallows
and you’d feed him s’mores
but you two would end up just eating the chocolate bars instead
he’d bring some sort of card game
and you two would get way too competitive
probaby uno
you’d be screaming at each other at like 1 am
“yOU DIDN’T SAY UNO”
would get a noise complaint
but alex does not care
not one bit
would make a joke about you screaming his name instead
ends up loving falling asleep to the sounds of nature
somehow finds his way into being little spoon
you two fall asleep holding each other
and wake up a tangled mess
begs you to stay another night
because he actually likes being away from it all
and getting uninterrupted one-on-one time with his girl
next time you guys get a free weekend , he’s the one who suggests camping
because he loved it so much
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ashubii · 11 days ago
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An Update
It's a little long, so I'll place the detailed post under a read-more. Basically, I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm depressed, and I don't have the energy to go through the process of fixing my CC & game issues enough to keep working on my CC-heavy fantasy stories right now.
So I know I've posted about my current stories & legacies a lot lately, but I still feel like I need to make a post with a more finalized statement about them.
As of right now and for the foreseeable future, I am definitely putting and keeping everything on hold except for my Become Human Enough Challenge and (most likely) the 100 Baby Challenge.
For my fantasy-themed stories, my game cannot handle the CC I've been using for them. I'm wary of getting corrupt save files due to any massive changes I make there, so I'd rather just leave those saves untouched.
I still plan to clean up and overhaul my CC collection and hopefully end up in a position where I can actually load my game, avoid crashes, and continue those stories without much loss in the aesthetic and atmosphere the CC helped me deliver. Unfortunately, I just can't manage that right now. My work eats up a lot of time. I'm in a LDR with someone who I don't know when I'll be able to BE with in person due to this pandemic and border restrictions, so my free-time mostly goes towards spending time with my SO. Beyond that, my household keeps getting exposed to COVID and currently some immediate family members are very sick (not sure if it's COVID yet). Every day I feel incredibly stressed and exhausted, trying to juggle working with staying safe in an environment where no one else seems to care for my well-being or health. I am losing my fucking mind. Coupling all of that with my depression & anxiety disorder, I've been struggling hard.
I am tired. Fixing my CC issues is a project I don't have the energy for. Eventually, when I do get around to it, my priority will revert back to my Supernatural Legacy. I may even cut some losses and deal with a lack of CC in that save, I don't know yet.
So that's where I am. I'm heartbroken and disappointed that I can't keep working on my stories, but I've been telling myself for too long that - “I'll get to it, I promise!! Soon!!” And that's starting to stress me out way too much.
This is the last post I'm going to make about my situation or stories, though. I'm sorry I keep posting about it, it's just been difficult feeling like I could be disappointing anyone who was following the content I can't produce right now.
I appreciate and love all of you 💜
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mikauzoran · 11 days ago
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Just When I Thought Rose Couldn’t Get Cuter
I’m tired, so I don’t have too much commentary today, but can I just say how cute Rose is? Like, I didn’t think Rose could get any more precious, but she somehow managed it. XD
I feel where she’s coming from. I was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes a week shy of my fifteen birthday, and it’s really frustrating when people treat me like I’m breakable because of it. It’s like...treat me like I’m normal unless I am actively having a medical event. Kids who deal with chronic illness don’t want to be “the sick kid”. They just want to be kids and be able to do everything the other kids do. Kids who deal with chronic illness are tough. They have to deal with a lot on a daily basis that their friends don’t have to think twice about, and it’s nice sometimes just to forget for a bit and feel normal, so I totally understand Rose in this episode.
Anyway! Can I say how excited I am to see some Adrienette interaction?! I think this is the first time this Season. XD Look at them! They’re talking to one another!!! AH! (I notice Marinette’s not suppressing her crush anymore either.)
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Also, look how tall baby boi has gotten. uwu He’s going through a growth spurt. I’m really pleased that they’re including that kind of detail. It makes me happy.
Adrien’s “sneaking posture” below also makes me happy. XD Adrien, you look silly. I refuse to believe that holding your arms like that makes you more stealthy.
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So, since November I’ve been thinking about a story where Juleka gets upset and goes to hide on the roof, and Adrien finds her there and talks to her, and the scene below really reminded me of that fanfic idea. Maybe I’ll write it eventually.
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But, seriously, Marinette..Love...the girl just said she wants to be alone. I know you’re trying to help, Sweetheart, but... ^.^; I wonder if it’s too loud in the boiler room for Marinette to have heard Juleka say she wants to be alone? Juleka does mumble. (Can I say how happy I am that my girl Juleka got some real lines this episode? I love it when she actually talks. I cannot wait for this episode in French because I love her voice! ^o^) I’m glad that having the class all come worked out and ended up helping.
I notice that Lila, Chloé, and Sabrina are pointedly excluded from the class bonding scenes. It’s an interesting, subtle choice on the part of the creators to visually show where the lines are drawn between the class in-group and out-group. 
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The below scene got me because the thing Nino is feeling most guilty about right now is still how he can’t help Adrien stand up to Gabriel. Even though everyone else is fixating on stuff that just happened and is relevant to the current situation, Nino is thinking about how he feels like he’s failing his best bro. I cannot tell you how much I love Nino. Seriously, he’s one of the most undervalued characters of the show. Nino is MVP.
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Okay, but serious talk time. Why is my baby boi trying to Cataclysm himself?! Writers! This is supposed to be a kids’ show! O.O I mean, I’ve always known that Adrien struggled with depression and self-worth issues underneath his optimism and resiliency, but...I was content to keep it in the fanfiction. I’m seriously worried about this kid. Someone give him a hug. NOW.
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In other news, Daizzi is baby, Your Honor. She(?) is so absolutely precious. I love her! And she officially has the cutest name of all the kwamis. I was pronouncing it “dai” like the Japanese pronunciation. “Daisy” makes more sense. It’s adorable. ^w^
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You know who else is adorable? Pigella. I lover her costume. She’s like a real Japanese magical girl. I love the aesthetic, even though pink isn’t really my vibe. She looks like that one character from Sailor Moon. (I read the manga a couple years ago, but the anime was before my time, so I’m blanking on her name. ^.^; Sorry to all of the Sailor Moon fans I’ve just disappointed.) You know. The little, pink one that wasn’t one of the planets. The outfits look similar to me, at least. The hair reminds me of Usagi. It’s a good look on Rose.
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Her Miraculous is gorgeous too. Like, that’s a realistic piece of jewelry that I would actually wear. XD (The ring, earrings, and butterfly broach are pretty normal too, but the rest of them are kind of out there as far as everyday wear goes. Maybe the glasses would be fine.)
Anyway. I’m super proud of Rose. Her optimism and kindheartedness saved the day. ^w^
I’m not sure how I feel about the ending scene, though, when Adrien teases Chloé. It feels like the class is laughing /at/ her, and he’s on their “side”. I’m wondering what developments their friendship has undergone this season that we’ve missed due to the out of order episodes. Maybe I’m misunderstanding the tone of his voice because my understanding of Portuguese is limited. Maybe it’s harmless and they’re still friends. It would make me really sad if Chloé didn’t have anyone left on her side...though, it’s pretty obvious that she still has Sabrina. I’m not sure how long that will last with how Chloé treats her. 
Someone said “It’s true” after Adrien said that when Chloé said things like that she was never kidding. I’m not familiar with the Portuguese voices, so I’m not sure who that was. Maybe that was Chloé agreeing and it was all in good fun. I don’t know. Her body language looked closed off and defensive. :/
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But to end on a happy note, look at Adrien’s pose. He’s such a model. XD I don’t think he knows how to turn it off in public.
I was kind of anxious about this episode because JuleRose is my secondary canon ship, and I get antsy when canon touches my ships. I was afraid Rose and Juleka were going to have a fight, but it turned out that it was just a misunderstanding and my ship was strong throughout. ^w^ Long live JuleRose!
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citruscherrie · 16 days ago
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Day 2ish-3
So I skipped last night because I was tired/drinking/facetiming friends/watching movie/not interested, etc. I am going to make this quick, but yesterday was better, handling a certain stressful situation (for me) for most people it probably wouldn’t have been chaotic. 
I slept in too late which I really don’t want because it fucks over my entire day and I feel like a piece of shit. I have an interview coming up at 2:30pm and I truly hope it goes smoothly, i’m charming enough, etc. etc. I don’t want to be nervous and I want to be confident. I also really need this second job as if I couldn’t be actually stressed enough for money. I want this all to pan out.
Pretty lame journal post but I just started my day and yesterday was content. I am hoping for a good few days off and ace this interview without any nerves. CAUSE I CAN DO IT. I AM CHARMING AND FUN AND A WORK BOSS. I got this!!!!
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arminsleftnut · 17 days ago
i meannn i could go for some very comforting eren x reader at the moment. I just watched something very traumatizing and will not be falling asleep tonight:(
i know i skipped over some other requests to do this but i totally understand wanting comfort character/catharsis content after seeing something shitty so !! i speed ran this and i am so sorry if it’s rushed but i hope it makes you feel better angel <33
CONTENT WARNING: gender neutral reader, some angst but mostly fluff, catharsis fic (not meant to be romanticizing, just comforting), mentions of thunderstorms, just reader having a bad day and domestic bf eren, implied panic attack??, crying (could be read as depression if u squint but this is also just me projecting the day i had yesterday so do with that what u will), eren is a sap and probably a little ooc but listen
also i listened to blackbird by the Beatles while writing this so excuse the nonsensical title
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it was hard to not hate eren sometimes.
not because he was too loud, too aggressive, too annoying, or a shitty boyfriend— quite the opposite actually. it was because he wasn’t. admittedly, he could be incredibly thick-headed at times and had said more than enough dumb shit to write a book on it, but he wasn’t nearly as thoughtless nor stupid as most people assumed.
instead, he was doting, and loving in his own rougher, sometimes awkward way, and he loved you to the moon and back, and it was sometimes so overwhelming that you didn’t know if you should toss him on his ass or grab onto him and never let go.
this was, unfortunately, one of those times. you had days like this, where you just— couldn’t move. it wasn’t that you were tired, not physically at least, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to move. eren had been out for most of the day, leaving you to stare blankly at your bedroom wall, listening to the soft patter of rain and the occasional crack of thunder. the sounds, as soothing as they usual were, now immobilized you, sending you into a suffocating lethargy. no matter how much you laid there, you still weren’t relaxed, weren’t resting, no matter how badly you wanted to.
and then there was eren.
his voice, loud as ever, rang through the house, calling out for you. you could hear his footsteps falter halfway to the bedroom at the silence that greeted him, yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to speak. you felt horrible, but even opening your mouth felt so draining.
the creak of the bedroom door alerted you to eren’s presence. he was— wary. eyeing you speculatively, unsure if you were taking a nap or just ignoring him. (he doubted it. he was pretty hard to ignore, he made sure of it).
“baby?” he called gently, keeping his voice low just in case you were asleep.
something in his tone, perhaps it’s casual, loving concern, maybe something else, broke down the dam that had been suffocating you all day. a choked sob tore through you, and you found yourself wracking violently. you slapped your hand over your mouth in a vain attempt to muffle each cry that left you. the hot tears that streamed down your face were both freeing and nauseating. still, you couldn’t stop.
“shit, baby,” eren was across the room in seconds, kneeling on the bed and tugging you out of the little hollow you’d made for yourself, prying your hand away from your mouth and pulling you to him. his fingertips were painfully gentle as they brushed your hair from your face, and it might’ve made you cry harder. “hey, hey, none of that. what is it, sweetheart? you gotta tell me so i can fix it.”
you could only shake your head, heaving a strangled breath. you didn’t know how to explain that it was just one of those days, that there was nothing to fix, you were just lost, and you felt like you were sinking. it would pass, you knew that. it always did, but right now, you couldn’t breathe.
even though you couldn’t say any of that, eren still somehow seemed to understand. he always did. you found yourself sat between his legs, his hands rubbing up and down your arms, anchoring you to him so you didn’t feel like you were going to fly off the proverbial handle.
“i’ve got you, honey. i’ve got you. deep breaths, ‘kay? can you do that for me?”
hours later found you laying on top of his chest, matching your own breathing to his, the slow, steady beat of his heart thrumming in time with the pattering rain. sometimes, you did hate eren just a little, but only because he made it so easy to love him.
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scoundrels-in-love · 20 days ago
Ship wars
What a theme! There’s definitely been great many essays written about it and I am not sure what fresh and interesting take I can offer, but well, let’s try to organize some thoughts.
I think Ship Wars hail from the very fundamental way that people in large groups grow very confident that their truth is the only one that matters and that they have right to bully anyone out of theirs.
It is natural that different people care for different ships and different dynamics. It’s completely alright, to have the canon OTPs and to find these rareships created by maybe few sentences exchanged, based only on the potential what these two could have. It’s unavoidable that someone will think their interpretation of the character is more accurate than someone else’s - and they might even be right in a way. Such as they are paying attention to a nuance another group isn’t (and they might be missing out on some other) because of their unique perspective. It’s okay to just go hogwild and project wildly and run with a fanon or personal headcanons you love.
The problem comes when you decide to be hurtful and righteous about it, instead of accepting the other opinions, headcanons, projections and ships also have right to exist. That there will never be One Unique take and, gasp, even if there was, it might not be yours. Even if stuff goes canon, because as we all know, writers aren’t infallible.
I am not going to lie and pretend that I am not a snob about some ships, downright frustrated about some concepts that are prelevant in some of my fandoms or that I find some ships unpalatable, problematic or some such.
In fact, sometimes it is born from the way some people treat their favorites, going on offense even if there’s no negativity towards them, or how aggressive they are towards actors and so forth, which completely poisons my view of the ship and shippers alike over time.
Yes, I am a salty, opinionated bitch. But I know where to express it and where not to. If I talk about my opinion with likely minded individuals, don’t go to send anon hate or write meta that puts down another ship and then slap it in specific tags, I think it is within my right.
I think that when people are too caught up in their own passionate dislike of some ship and try to support their own, it can be actually harmful to themselves/their side of fandom as well, because it basically reduced the ship to the ship war, dragging your own content through mud of bitterness and annoyance.
I have been in a situation where I ship one ship and some old time mutuals ship an absolute NOTP and the absolute effort to find my ship content that doesn’t bash on their ship or character involved in it, to reblog was an absolute mine field. Exhausting. Annoying. Eventually enough to actually make me stop engaging with my OTPs content, because I was too tired of the negativity and the sifting through to not accidentally be a dick to my mutual (even if I agreed with some of the takes, in private).
I think the mob mentality that takes over people when ship wars arise is quite, quite scary as it would be in any other case and when it’s a widely known fandom with people all over the world, throwing their weight behind it... It can be absolutely horrifying and showing the worst people can do. It’s not pretty and I don’t think there’s universal advice to stop it. There will always be people who just Have To Do It Like This and they will find another person like that and grow in numbers, emboldened.
So, if you’re growing tired of it all, just try to curate your social media experience with what you block, who you follow or don’t. Find people to talk with about things you think in earnest, maybe post a carefully tagged rant or two if you must about your take on character or ship without going out of your way to bash other characters or ships to find more likely minded individuals. And, in the end, even if you fundamentally disagree about some things in a TV show or a book, it doesn’t actually mean you always have to throw the whole person (friend) out.
I could talk some about purity culture here, but I feel like much smarter people have spoken a lot better about these topics, so I will refrain, but it is a thing that also links back to ship wars, with this self acclaimed ‘moral superiority’ mentality that often comes with some shippers and ships. Things that make ship wars turn personal on some people.
Essentially, TL;DR is to not be a shitty person and let other people ship what they ship and vent your salt with people in private, if it really gets on your nerves so much and, hopefully, the other people will stick to their spaces as well. But in the end, ship wars are inevitable, so just do your part in not being casualty to them if you can.
Also, this is written at 1am so some errors in my logic or otherwise might occur.
Send me ☕️ for a rant on topic of your choice?<3
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waltnut · 20 days ago
Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.
Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.
No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...
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The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.
NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1
Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?
Lucifer
Level 3
He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?
He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.
But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.
MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.
Level 4
All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.
He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.
He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?
Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!
Mammon
Level 3
He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.
As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.
He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.
Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.
Level 4
Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.
Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.
Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.
While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.
Leviathan
Level 3
Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.
Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.
Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.
Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.
Level 4
Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.
He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.
He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!
Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!
Satan
Level 3
If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.
Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.
Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.
He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.
Level 4
Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.
Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.
Most likely to choke you.
Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.
Asmodeus
Level 3
Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.
As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.
Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.
Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.
Level 4
More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.
Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.
A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.
Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.
Beelzebub
Level 3
Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.
Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.
He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.
Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.
Level 4
You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?
Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.
The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.
Most likely to hump your leg.
Belphegor
Level 3
He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.
Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.
He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.
His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.
Level 4
If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.
You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!
His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.
You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.
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erensproudsimp · 21 days ago
Text
Work out
Armin Arlert x reader Oneshot
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⚠ Sexual Content Ahead ⚠
Summary : I woke up, thought of gym sex and wrote it
Word Count : 2.3k
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"Come on y/n, going to the gym is not that bad plus Mikasa would be joining us too", Annie encouraged you.
"Working out seems so much of trouble that I certainly don't want to partake as I'd rather spend my energy to binge watch anime", you replied flatly eyes not moving away from your phone.
Snatching your phone Annie said with a serious face, "Y/n how do you expect to pull any of your anime crushes looking like a potato? "
"Hey! Give me my phone back and even if I do look like a potato Sasha would love me and don't bring my husbands in this topic!" you ran after her to retrieve your phone.
"Alright then, I'll pay you a KFC meal if you come for one day to at least try it out", Annie suggested.
"I don't know why you're so adamant about taking me to the gym but if there's free food involved, I'm in", you gave in.
"I just want you to stay fit you know and we're starting tomorrow so go to sleep", your roommate said preparing her gym bag.
"Whaaat nooo", you complained unaware of the impact that a stranger you're going to meet will have have on you.
The next morning both Annie and you hopped into Mikasa's car to go to the private gym owned by Mikasa's family and family friends.
"That's actually a relief to be able to work out without fearing strangers looking at you", you reassured yourself.
"Yeah it's gonna be really comfortable and I also would like to introduce you to some of my friends y/n, I know you're gonna like them", Mikasa added.
"Well can't say I'm not excited to meet them", you replied looking at your phone reading a fanfiction.
Couple of minutes later you reached your destination. From the outside the building looked very modern with transparent glasses through which you could see the inside and barely any life around made the place peaceful.
When you went inside, Mikasa took you both to the changing room where you left your stuff on the shelf to change your outfit.
Putting your towel on your shoulders followed by Annie, Mikasa led the way to her friends who were lifting weights.
"Hey guys", Mikasa said to get their attention, "This is y/n and Annie and this is Eren and Armin", she said pointing at each person respectively.
"Pleasure to meet you two", Armin said as Eren nodded with him.
You swore that the moment you saw the blonde boy, your heart skipped a beat. He was so effortlessly gorgeous.
"Same here, hope to have a good gym buddy relation with you two", Annie replied as you were lost in your reflection. Snapping yourself from your thoughts, you agreed with her.
After that y'all left the boys to let them do their previous activities and went to train yourselves. With your unfit body you were tired from the first exercise itself and was laying on the ground trying to catch your breath.
You failed to understand how could Mikasa and Annie keep going but you were not going to give up and decided to look at it as a new challenge for yourself.
Picking yourself up, you went to do something easy as a starter which was skipping ropes.
Little did you know that the blonde guy had been sneaking peeks at you from time to time smiling to himself.
One hour later, everyone decided to take a break to refuel their energy.
"So, what are we going to eat", you questioned.
" Why not soup? I've been craving miso soup for a while," Armin proposed, everyone settling on soup.
Getting into the car, Eren drove us to the nearest fast food restaurant. Inside you sat between Annie and Armin. Filled with anxiety of Armin being so close to you, you fidgeted with your hands to keep yourself stable. Armin noticed your restlessness and asked if you were okay but you couldn't possibly tell him that you were crushing hard on him so you just replied with a 'I'm fine' and concentrated on your food.
"What are your majors?" Eren asked you and Annie to make conversation.
"I am doing engineering and y/n's an art student explaining why she's so lazy", Annie responded.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Annie, I am not lazy", you said passive-aggressively looking at Annie with murder in your eyes.
"Says the girl who could barely run to take her phone from me yesterday", she coughed smirking.
"No- I - bye-", you stammered making Armin erupt into a fits of laughter. His laugh gave the impression as though angels came down on earth to bestow you with blessings which in this case was the cute sound of his voice. You didn't realise that you were staring at him until Armin spoke, "Is there something on my face?"
"Yes," you said casually swipping the little ketchup stain near his mouth with a tissue. His cheeks were a light pink colour because of your action and he thanked the heavens for not letting his friends noticing what just happened.
"Th-thank you", he bashfully thanked.
"Sure", you said looking away to hide your blush.
Finishing your meals, y'all returned to the gym to continue training then took your leave after two hours. Saying your byes to the boys, Mikasa gave you both a ride to your dorm.
Throwing your body on your bed you heaved a sigh of relief that you were able to survive this first day of going to the gym.
"Tired already y/n ? Too bad we're going to do this routine everyday", Annie commented.
"I guess time to fill the fridge with energy drinks", you jumped out of bed to buy bundles of different brands of said drink.
The only thing that would be keeping you going about working out was that you were able to see Armin everyday.
Due to your classes running late one day you reached the gym at 06 00 pm. Everyone was still there; you greeted them and went to use the treadmill. At around half past seven your friends were hungry and decided to go to a nearby takeout to bring food to the gym because you didn't want to come out of exhaustion.
"You guys go ahead, I would keep y/n company", Armin told them.
Soon you were left alone with Armin and not knowing what to say out of shyness you excused yourself to the bathroom.
There you freshened up yourself to make yourself look more presentable to your crush. Luck was in your stars as you were wearing leggings that gave your ass a nice curve with a matching colour sportsbra.
When you came out, you saw that Armin was missing. You assumed that he too went to the restroom and decided to do squats. A little while later the man indeed returned from the wc. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw you.
He came up to you and asked if you needed any help regarding your training.
"Actually I do, would you assist me in doing sit ups?" you requested.
"Yeah sure, I'll hold your shoes while you're doing them," Armin accepted.
Laying your body on the mat, you watched Armin going in front of you to your feet and held them down. You began to lift your body with your hands on the back of your head as you realised how close your faces were being when you were raised up. You never realised how broad his shoulders were until then and you gulped hard.
"How much do you plan on doing?" Armin asked.
"I'm setting a limit of thirty but let's see if I manage to exceed it." He nodded. Gosh, how does someone manage to look cute and hot at the same time?!
At your 15th sit-up you lifted up your body to make eye contact with him as you were with the previous sit-ups but this time it lasted longer because you stayed still. Both of you gazed into the eye of each other without saying a word your faces becoming closer. You didn't realise what you were doing. It wasn't long until both of your lips touched each other. When your senses were brought back to you, you pulled back so quickly. For a second you saw a frown on Armin's face.
"OMG! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do this, I swear," you apologized frenzily.
"It's okay, I don't mind at all," Armin just chuckled at your reaction. He came closer and tucked your hair to your ear.
"Have you ever realised how beautiful you were?" he whispered in your ear making all your blood rush to your head.
"I - I- mmph," you were cut off by Armin
colliding his mouth with yours. He sucked on your lower lip asking permission to let his tongue enter your mouth. You opened it a little only for him to stuck in his whole muscle.
You left out a small moan feeling his tongue roaming everywhere while his hand untied your hair and was playing with it.
He had the most tender lips that you ever felt in your life. Giving you a forehead kiss, he held your face in his hands stroking it with his thumb.
You crawled to sit on his lap as he continued to shower you with affection. His head pats were so gentle, you were melting under his touch. He bowed to gain access to your neck and gave it a subtle lick and then proceeded to find your sweet spot kissing you everywhere. A small mewl left your lips when he kissed a certain spot. The man was proud of himself to have found it and attacked it with hickeys. At this point you were shaking on his thighs and in his embrace.
Your hands reached the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off him. His sweaty body glowed in the light yet he looked so heavenly. You couldn't help but lick his collarbones leaving your saliva on his skin.
The fear of getting caught by your friends during this sinful moment turned you on.
Armin's hand gave your ass a tender squeeze before making you lay your whole body on the mat as he left a trail of kisses from your neck your stomach. He grabbed your waist to kiss your on your bellybutton.
"Is it okay if I remove it?" he said hinting at your leggings. You lifted your lower body to help him remove it and threw it away. He gave your core a kiss then carried you in bridal style to place you on the bench press.
He spread your legs and buried his face between them. You wouldn't have never expected such an innocent face to do such unholy things to your body in your life. He sucked your clit which sent electrics all throughout your body. He ate you out as though you were the most tastiest meal he's ever had. You crushed his head with your thighs but he didn't seem to mind that as he continued doing his job. You were pulling his hair so hard screaming his name making sure people passing nearby could hear how good he was making you feel.
His soft hands ran through your thighs making small circle motions on them to soothe you.
"Ar-Armin, I-,"
"It's okay love you can spill it on my face, I want every single drop down my throat," Armin panted.
What he said set off a trigger and the knot in your stomach snapped. All your juices went on Armin's face and he ensured to have swallowed everything.
He retreated away from your opening swipping your cum with his fingers and licking them off. While you were collecting your breath, Armin took off his sweatpants and let his hardened dick free.
"Do you mind if I -," he insinuated with his dick at your entrance.
"Please Armin don't hesitate," you were practically begging him. You expected him to slide it in but instead he was stroking your folds with his swollen member. This felt so good it sent you in a rollercoaster of immense pleasure. You could feel his veins pulsating against your own pulsating clit.
While he was caressing your cunt, his hands went to grab your boobs and fondled them.
His up and down motion continued as he was mixing his precum with your wetness.
Your overwhelming neediness pushed you to grind on him as he was moving so slowly. With instinct you lifted your hips as shivers were sent through your spine. Noticing this Armin picked up speed and with his hand rubbed your clit hard. He bent over to give you a kiss on your nose then to make out with you.
"Ah-ah, y/n-I'm going to cum," Armin moaned.
"Cum with me Armin," you breathed.
Suddenly he picked up more speed and thrusted faster. His dick was moving so quick on you, the lewd sound of your pussy's liquids filled the gym. Armin held your hands and intertwined your fingers. He let out a grunt as he came on your stomach and you on the bench.
He looked at you with such love in his eyes and reached out to wipe your tears and kissed your hands.
He fetched your leggings while he also cleaned the bench leaving no marks of this incident. Since your legs were shaking so much you could barely walk, Armin carried you to the bathroom.
After you went to pee, he made you sit on a stool and he tied your hair back in a ponytail. Hugging you from the back he asked, "Are you feeling okay now beautiful or do you need anything?"
"Water?" you replied.
"Anything for you," he went to fetch the requested item.
Just at that moment your friends returned.
You thanked the universe for not making them arrive while you were making love with Armin and you kept your cool acting as though nothing happened.
Thus, this was the start of a wonderful relationship.
End.
Thank you for reading. :)
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imthatgirlandyouknowit · 21 days ago
Text
Week 1
It’s been a week since I talked to a psychologist. 
Truth is I don’t think she really helped, professionally-speaking. I think her only help was actually specificity -- which I now feel like is something I need or resonate better with. She at least confirmed to me that I truly do have very mild symptoms of anxiety and depression -- which if goes untreated could really progress into something more difficult to deal with. I found comfort in the the label she had placed on what I am going through.
I gave her mindfulness program worksheet a look -- at least. I’m probably just not ready to accept that quiet meditation can help me. I’m probably just not ready to listen to that type of solution at the moment. I don’t like yoga -- which is also why my friends say its probably best that I give it a chance because its exactly what I’m not doing at the moment.
I think I just prefer to observe myself, my actions and thoughts. I prefer to write. See if doing this will do me any good. I even prefer to talk to myself. Tell myself a good pep talk or a reminder to suck it all up and all this is temporary. I tell myself I will get through this and its only gonna be a matter of time. 
I have a newfound respect for people going through mental health problems. You know you’re sick and something doesn’t feel right but you can’t quite put your thumb on what it is exactly. Even trying to follow a treatment plan for something that you have that isn’t in the typical form of a physiological illness feels unreal -- yet what you are going through is definitely real.
I chanced upon a mental health podcast the day after i spoke with the psychologist. That podcast actually helped me and sounded sensible to me. I listened to its first episode about the concept of “resetting”.  
I really need a reset. I hope to have a reset soon. Its so tiring to be a different person at work -- like I have to have an “on” switch so I can function responsibly -- then to go home and click the “off” switch until I repeat it all over again.
The podcast also made me reflect on the things I have and the state of my life -- what drives me, what matters to me, what makes me happy, the purpose in what i do or who i am, am i content, am i okay with my current state of life.
I still don’t have all the answers. And for someone that thrives on specificity, I’ve learned that it’s okay not to have all the answers at once. It’s okay to go through this muddled part of things because eventually everything will clear up. It’s only a matter of time till I realize what I need to take care of myself. 
I only hope it’s not too late when it hits me because I’m only getting started and I’m sure this is only the surface level of the thickness of mud I have to go through.
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