#i am still awful at lying

[reinabeestudio]

Shares some quick studies of my wife when no one's looking

#undertale yellow #ut yellow #uty #starlo uty #uty starlo #fan art #my art #so many fucking tags help 💥 #this dude's head shape is a mystery to me. like i know it's a star but the thing is that i cant draw stars 0(-( #nor hats actually. this design is very yomielphobic /j #kinda man that says Aw shucks. guy that says Oh heavens #i have Many Thoughts about this silly sheriff. please talk to me i am Normal (<- real) (<- LIES SHE'S LYING RUN) #me vs the world (drawin starlo a bit wider bc he's still a farmer and not a twink /lh) #i've seen some people give him a tail tho... thats so darn cute.... #he's kind. he values & protects whats important to him. he's cute as well. he can sing. he's a dork. he can sew?? I'm buyin a ring right NO

[soldier-poet-king]

my ex best friends from highschool put together one of those 'open when' gifts when i went away to university, i was the only person in our entire friend group to leave town.

obvs. things went to shit with them. it was messy and ugly, and in no small part my own fault. it's been almost 9 years. it's. im not at peace with it. but im not filled with the same bitter (unfair) anger.

im also moving! and not just dorms or uni apartments, moving moving, so im going thru all those random drawers of crap. i keep saying im gonna throw this out. it hurts to look at. but i feel bad? what if i want it later? what if we reconcile? what if the sky falls down, more likely. i feel guilty? looking at old photos and letters in handwriting i havent seen in years and curated playlists on CDs (yes im that old apparently). am i throwing away their love? a final terrible thing in the long list of terrible things i did in that friendship?

#the duality of fran #yall i genuinely need advice here it's kinda. uh. killing me #im lying in bed agonizing #im trying to rest bc tummy hurt from HELL rn #even had to cut murder squad bg3 short #and now it's just. well. #been a teenager fuckin sucked and i dont want to go back but also i miss the closeness and the friends and the #idk. sense of community and belonging i havent had since then. not in the same way. not REALLY #i was also super awful trad religious homophobe. but there was still just. yknow. #yknwim??? i obvs am not going back. will not go back.

[hella1975]

Hi hella!!!

I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)

I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory.  But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it 

(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it.  If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said.  Bc idk how accurate this will be)

SO

Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)

 (im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))

Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories.  Theres the simple ones and the complex ones.  Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.  

An example of the ‘simple’ ones is  

““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)

You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write.  I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before.  Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly.  I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in.  Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm.  Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.  

Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’ 

An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’ 

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.  

OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ

AND THIS IS WHY

When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it.  Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’  

But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.  

I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this.  And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.  

But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song.  Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.  

I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.  

I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.  

And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that.  Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion).  Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3.  And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing.  I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’.  And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.  

And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire.  (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.  

(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)

Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny.  But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person.  .😂

Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen. 

Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord.  I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.  

Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.

LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN

#this is so something i needed to hear rn bc always during exam season i 'lose' my ability to write like even the writing i do get done #just feels so fucking stale and awful imo and i just have to force myself to push through or else ill have a crisis about it #so i started studying in DECEMBER and it's now almost february exams are done but i CANT get out of that mindset for some reason #like ive been in a really bad writing flunk where im ABLE to write but the stuff i do write just feels genuinely terrible #like im losing it about dog teeth atm bc this story i was so in love with just feels so basic and underwhelming on a reread #and idk how much of that is me being insane and perfectionist and how much is valid criticism #so being told that actually there are people who not only enjoy my writing but are so thoroughly convinced it's a fundamental part of me #and something i am inherently GOOD at to the point even the way i talk CASUALLY is telling of it is just. oughhh im pacing my room #and the fact it doesn't HAVE to be my pretentious prose shit sometimes the more 'basic' stuff is STILL good. you're in my walls #i cant believe you're in the discord i hope you say hi!!! i dont bite!!! <- lying #also those assholes can take my silly white emojis from my COLD DEAD HANDS. white thumbs down will never die #ask #list anon

[keeps-ache]

why am i sneezing so much oh stars oh misery oh my hVSH

#just me hi #hehhehlppp #hhhellppp #i'm dddyiinnggg [<- dramatic] #WHY IS IT AGGRAVATING MY COUGH. PLS #i'm perishing like canned peaches in an ill-sealed jar hhhelp #//ANYWAY i came on here to say I have 100 followers on artstreet so i decided to do some adopts #also celebrating the 1k on here that i never got around to doing hfhvhs #yea it was last year. i will Still do a victory dance about that thank you uvu #//literally hellp i'm sneezing #auhuhguahuah #tjhis is terrible. just awful. just horrible. just terrible #five thousand sneezes be upon ye [m'n'm hamster meme] #they were lying about frijoles making you stronger. if i was stronger i wouldn't be sneezing #literally the lies the fabrications the falsehoods the fibs the untruths the misconstrued reality the blatant perjury #the humbuginess of it all the fraud the fiction the fantasies they sold me the invisible fine writing these cheats denied 'phony' #'you're being dramatic' I AM SNEEZGING. #i am going to BE dramatic i'm literally dddyingg it's the end of the worrrlddsssddd [<- dramaPlus+] #//anywya. if i sorvive. adopts. perhaps in a quarter of a fortnite. maybees less. who knows :3 #///and i continues to sneeze auhughgughgughgughuguuhguhg

[applejongho]

that stupid post I rbed earlier (in the morning, when thoughts and feelings are valid) hit me bc I'm literally sitting here like what if I asked for ex bestie's forgiveness bc I'm the one that fucked up (I am going through it rn 🙂👍) and then I looked at the clock and my brain went aha you are invalid you're poisoned with Nighttime O'Clock. go drink a seven up

#apple lady words #i complain here a lot abt this and while ex bestie is nameless i still dont want to put their 'name' down here as evil and im a saint and #blameless. #like there is never a case where someone is blameless. i participated in the downfall of the friendship (that lasted months) #but i truly tried everything i could to salvage anything and those last few months were truly awful. i felt like shit all the time #and felt cast aside by them #and w them gone i STILL feel like shit lol! but it's bc im going through the motions. and i just have to get used to the drastic change of #them not being in my life anymore and not want to fall back into familiar and safe but toxic patterns w them #i need to brave this fucking storm and i am trying my best but [tiny and small cat. crying. lying on the floor face down] #dl #does any of this make sense who knows

[martyrbat]

will say with some hindsight (and now that im in bed and its done until tomorrow) that i don't think most higher ups in a company is used to autism audacity and its really funny to throw them off with it. i called a vice president's home phone. like her actual fucking ell phone. i argued with her for several hours and called out every fucking lie she attempted. i got transferred to someone ‘to voice my concerns to’ that was so far under her that i just hung up and then called her cell again IMMEDIATELY and said, verbatim, ‘im sorry if my direct approach is untraditional and making you uncomfortable, mrs [name]. but if you want to sneak around and stab people in the back, someone is going to turn around and confront you about the knife you just put in them. as i was saying—’ because?? okay she just killed me. she literally took away every penny we scraped by when we already havent had a paycheck in a month and have been relying on relatives to shoplifting because the nearest food bank is over a hour away and we dont have money for gas. hes either fired or quitting to try and find work so... whats the worse that can happen. i went around with her for HOURS about contracts, payrolls and pay sheets, warranties, and arguing for just basic fucking worker rights. then called other ppl (from different workers in the company to the distributors and garage workers to other drivers to swap info on their end and share what's we found out on ours because yea im gonna get people pissed and the whole thing is slimy with the different shit theyre telling ppl) just to confront her again at 9pm (this literally started at 6:30 in the fucking morning) like... okay autism audacity (and union lover).... i see u.

#i was raosed in a very explosive household and im quiet a lot but god i am awful at being professional instead of passive aggressive or #half snarling as i grind my teeth LMAO #its been a mess but like. #i caught her in so many fucking lies and flat out ‘thats not true’ ‘are you lying or that removed from the people youre hurting?’ #‘miss [name] its getting late’ ‘yea it is. can you manage to stop lying to me so we both can get on with our evenings?’ #i was about to joker beatbox on her ass goddd #believe it or not this is not even a rant post this is me genuinely going huh. autism moment #but god theyre lying on so much to so many ppl and like. power in numbers baby fuck you. #posting crocbat yaoi while arguing with a V.P. simultaneously & about to start a fucking union with a bunch of middle age truckers... <3 #but okay. i got a busy day tomorrow and its 1 am and I still gotta shower so <33 goodnight until i delete this in the morning

[ladsofsorrow24]

sometimes i remember how i was like at school and damn, am i grateful i've finished that part of my life... and this is all because i was thinking of how much i love chainsaw man and then i remember my lil sister's got a friend in school who like it too which... reminds me that if i was in school when chainsaw man aired i wouldn't even dare to admit i like it to my friends lol

that kind of animanga is somehow often associated with straight guys here, and if my friends, who are girls, know i like that kind of story... they'll really look at me like i'm a weirdo

especially if i say i actually like denji and understood him as a character

thankfully i don't have anyone to impress or lie to on a daily basis now working on my own so i'm free to like whatever i like and enjoy things because i want to and not for the sake of conforming to the social standard of what a proper woman should be 🤷

#like you guys don't know how much of a poser i am at school #i'll pretend to like things just so i can seem cool and accepted by the girls in my class #because i don't want them to know i'm a fucking weirdo #can't help that i always got good grades so even the teachers eyes are on me at times #have to pretend to be a good student when i just wanna slack off #have to pretend to be a good girl who likes men and romance #even tho i practically don't give a damn about them boys at school or even men in any media i'm enjoying #so even the shit i like get scrutinized at times #hell weeks ago i am so surprised when my lil sister admits so bluntly to me that she fucking love romance novels #and i really thought 'wow that's very courageous of her' when... that's literally the most normal thing to like for a young woman #i'm the weirdo for liking only gay romance with a nice mix of violence horror and tragedy #my sis reads straight romance SHE'S THE NORMAL ONE OKAY #like i'm still in awe at how she really don't give a fuck but... ofc she can do that when it's about the most commonly accepted shit #idk man i just... i'm so grateful i'm done with anything school related #i hate lying or pretending to people because it's EXHAUSTING AF #tmi tag

[fiberglassandflowers]

im still conflicted about my placements for the little shop of horrors at the moment

#talking #CLICK SEE ALL IF YOU DARE. #norman as seymour is like. accurate because Look At Him you cant tell me he wouldnt get himself into that mess. #but at the same time ramona would fit the role really well also [“strange plants are my hobby”] #but ramona ALSO works for mr. mushnik #and i want to cast vannie as audrey ii because i mean its just really good. you eat blood audrey ii how am i supposed to keep feeding you #but if ramona was seymour it would make sense for me to cast sunny as audrey ii because of the outer space aspect of its character #and dont even get me started on the placements for audrey. if norman was seymour my first thought is obviously gonna be trip as audrey #because like at first glance its like Yeah that makes sense #but at a further glance NO IT DOESNT!!! audrey is shown to be fantasizing about wanting to move to a suburbia which trip canonically HATES #BUT!! at a FURTHER glance theres that shared aspect of wanting to get out of that awful town with the person you love! #so that part does check out! however if trip was cast as audrey then who would orin be? my thought for that would be debbie and i would jus #change the part where theyre like romantic because. ew. AND that would make sense because of the fact she would get eaten #by vannie specifically in this scenario. HOWEVER #if we're gonna roll with that and just change their relationship to each other i would ALSO have to change the fact that at the end #of the musical where SPOILER audrey dies and shes like “i want you to feed me to the plant” because trip would not take that shit lying dow #BUT!! if im okay with changing peoples relationships to each other then technically if i wanted the orin thing to still work how it was #intended to then TECHNICALLY fern could get cast as audrey as well and him and norman could be hashtag platonic #but outside of miranda being cast as orin it wouldnt actually fit at all #anyway the reason im leaning more towards the norman/vannie/trip iteration #other than the fact that im more focused on those characters at the moment #is that with the ramona/sunshine iteration i have no idea who audrey would be because i havent really explored ramonas relationships #with other people as much outside of sunny and mina #and while mina fits the audrey personality a whole lot it wouldnt really work with the way her and ramona's dynamic is canonically #sigh. its a hard life for me. sorry for typing about this in the tags so much

[vegaseatsass]

Oh btw that Never Let Me Go episode ruuuuuuuuled

#it just gets better and better #phuwin was not lying that episode was hella romantic #and i'm so glad nuengpalm got some positive elder role models to normalize happiness for them #i DO think palm needs to meet someone who teaches him about d/s #because the fact that he likes being ordered around and serving palm romantically def complicates his confusion about his role #ben made me feel for him 100% aw and i'm soooo relieved chopper is a good boy #i will support him if he just goes ape shit but i love a narrative like this where he's navigating so much and staying so good #i am a bit team phum not in how he's terrorizing nuengdiao and anyone who associates with him #but in that his grievances w/ nueng's parents are kinda legit #but nueng shutting the fuck down the idea that non's gratitude to the family justifies servility on any level #makes me think the narrative gets that to at least some extent #so i'm interested in where things will go since tanya is a beloved figure who had one of the best parental reactions to a kid coming out #ever #but she's still the head of a corporate empire with a mafia underbelly #yk????? #i love nueng for just not even touching the idea that his dad was so benevolent in that moment #he didn't even go there! it's besides the point! we don't own you! you don't owe us your life! it's your life! #so proud of him #also: SO PROUD OF PALM for really taking up space this episode #flirting with his WHOLE chest being honest about his feelings #a beautiful beautiful thing to witness! #never let me go #never let me go spoilers

[pendraegon]

my grandma's been with us at our house for the past few days and like... she's 94/95 (korean age you know) and she's always been spry and acerbic and witty but she can barely move, her body hurts, she can't lift her arms, she doesn't have a fever per se but her body temperature is a bit higher than usual...and i don't mind helping her out or feeding her or her waking me up every few hours to use the washroom or any other little things she may need im happy to do them but it's like...this is my halmoni and i love her and there's nothing wrong with her and the doctors can't do anything because it's just that she's old, she's so very old and tired and her condition is deteriorating day to day and ):

#like. there's an oily awful sick feeling in my gut and i know she feels so much worse than i do and i can tell she's tired and she's afraid #and there's nothing more i want than to take her pain away and idk....the realization that her time on this earth is coming to an end #and it may be soon has me feeling...umoored isn't quite the word but... #she's still very cognizant and her tongue is sharp as ever but seeing her lying there at 4 am calling my name and saying it hurts and she #can't move and she has no strength to even lift the covers.....god........that's my halmoni... #idk ill delete this in a bit i just have to get this off my chest bc i dont know where else to put this and if i dont at least type it out #i think im going to just. disintegrate.

[urbanfiltered]

this i will have to delete soon

#also something i cannot discuss or else i;ll go too insane is that all this lying in bed due to severe physical and mental decay #plus constantly epxerimenting with various pasta shapes so lots of carb heavy meals #is fucking with my body in a big way #none of my jeans button up anymore so i do exist exclusively in linen and corduroy pants #trying to tell myself that the sudden disappearance of my waist does not make me less worthy or deserving of love but like #god damn #also i still dont know how to diet in a normal way like all i know how to do is panic and not eat for a few days and then suddenly #reach my limit and spend the next 2 days binging/gorging myself to make up for lost calories and somehow all of it feels awful at once so . #i've always been a 0 or 100 mph girl and i am Paying for it . #learning balance is Hard!!! #tw: ed

[be-good-to-bugs]

when i feel very lonely i get fizzled out of doing anything after less than an hour

#the bin #been feeling much more lonely since moving into this apartment and i cant draw bc of it #cause i have trouble continuing things i was drawing earlier. when i try im filled with this horrible exhaustion and sadness #its easier to feel better when im living more alone because i can play music or walk around and talk to myself and try to make things #brighter for me but when im living with someone especially someone who i really dislike its just impossible to do #and worse i have to hear them be here which just makes me feel even worse #ugh. my relationship with my sister has gone from bleh to awful. her absolute refusal to take me into consideration for anything including #bringing people over at nogjt without even telling me at all. the last straw. absolutely the last straw #hey yknow id love it if in the middle of the noght when i want a snack and dont wanna get all dressed id like to know theres someone here #cause id rather not them need the bathroom the same time and im just in my underwear. but noooo i dont have the need to know theres #some other person in my facking home. nope not my right #the thing where she insists she tells me that she was gonna have someone over when she didnt has been pissing me off a lot because she #uses the fact i have a poor memory to say why actually i misremembered..shes like well ur perception of reality sucks so u THINK u #remember correctly but actually u totally dont but like. im not having problems rememberi g other things like that right now. and i #distinctly remember these conversations and i always make not of when someoens gonna be here and when you tell me i remember #and theres so much proof that she also forgets stuff. but i honestly think she might be intentionally lying abt it because she forgot #to ask or didnt want me to say no. well i am saying no. idc if theyre already here. yall can go hangout elsewhere bc i wasnt told abt tjis #and i deserve to have quiet in my own home. its literally all i have. #ive been feeling like maybe shes not so bad. people grow and change and sometimes you dontjat in different directions #and you dont get along well anymore. i hear her say to other people that im still her favorite person so its very one sided abt this #honestly though its not just that we dont get along well anymore but nobody is at fault because she is at fault #its not like i never let her bring people over. i do. im just askingmthat im notified first. and her response to forgetting or choosing not #to tell me is to use my mental health things against me to say im just too mentally ill to knoq if i remember tnings cleatly #then how come tnis only ever happens with this thing or cleaning stuff? it ONLY rver happens with stuff that she wouldve needed to tell me #about that are important. oh an important bill i needed to know abt but u didnt tell me? i did but u forgot. #but never anything else. its only ever tnings that she would be in the wrong for not telling me about if she hadnt. thats it #so yonow im thinking maybe. u didnt tell me. which wouldnt blther me so much if she didnt just say actually i did but ur schizophrenia #made u forget wow ur so insano haha #ugh. she sucks. literally dont even wanna built legos with her even tho the set is cool as fuck bc being around her sucks #wow sorry for my many many many tags complaining about my sister. living with her is awful :/

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

sometimes i think about that one post about how you should have people who are absolutely delighted by your existence and like that's nice and all but what happens when they get bored of u

#im so sorry for being mentally ill on main i've just had a ROUGH couple of weeks #got covid for the first time and then my car started acting weird and now i have to pay 2k to fix it and also it's. #impossible for me to get to work with like an uber or whatever cause the guards would get pissed off #so now i have to rely on my coworkers/friends who also work with me to give me rides #and i don't live that far from work but it's still Awful being a burden #and next week is going to be so much. in terms of the ridiculous workload i gave myself #and it would be fine if i was 100% but im still so so so tired from having covid #my room is somewhat cleaner tho. #and that's Better but im still overwhelmed #im just dumping everything into my closet so i don't have to Look At it #so that i can have a clean space for my stupid mental health and then i'll slowly chip away at the closet mess over the next week #this is all unrelated to the post. #the post is about what happens when people who love u run out of patience #and also if u keep being like uwu u promise u love me uwu #they're just going to get annoyed at ur insecurity and LEAVE YOU #the problem is. i am a bit abrasive and have trouble making friends because of that. and im working on that #even tho a lot of my friends do tell me not to change cause they like my personality but also i want everyone to love me and that's not #possible with how i am #(im working on the Lying. it's so hard. i was at dinner the other day and someone asked me for a bite of my food and i went sure! #and then everyone started laughing and was like girl stop Trying to Lie just say no we all see u don't want to share #and then someone was like 'but i love how transparent you are about everything' (which is very funny because i actually hate this person an #have been working very very very hard to hide it for the sake of the rest of my friends even tho they tell me i don't have to but im trying #to not be mean to him. he sucks. even tho he's not trying to fuck me anymore he absolutely sucks. made my friend's bday about him. #oh there was a point to this but i got distracted) #anyways. the lying. i'm trying So Hard. i feel like this is a skill my parents should have taught me #and im still trying to figure out Where i got the bluntness from but i think that's just Me and not something i can blame my parents for #delete later #these tags don't make any sense but it's ok i just wanted to word vomit and feel slightly less overwhelmed and now im going to continue #cleaning my room. and then im going to go work out and then im going to finish lesson planning for tomorrow #and im probably going to tell leah that she has to be nice to me at work tomorrow or im going to cry and hopefully she'll listen

[osaemu]

i am a strong believer in soft and sweet gojo. when he tries being mean during sex, the tears on your face and the muffled cries make him fold so fast. he’d stop so fast and lean down to hug you and whisper so many praises and apologies in your ear. oooooooh my god i have a gigantemasorous praise kink it’s so gross please i just wanna be called a good girl and be treated like a princess :(((

PRAISE KINK: SATORU GOJO

✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: he can't help but go soft when you look up at him through teary eyes. NSFW

contents: fem!reader. p –> v, creampie, praise kink (shocking), cockwarming, unprotected sex, dacryphilic themes, squirting, teeny tiny size kink. halfway through i changed the plot and this ended up way longer than i expected oops!

"good girl, stay just like that f'me," satoru mumbles, white hair falling into his eyes as he looks down at you. his thrusts grow sloppier the closer he gets to cumming inside of you, and the cute way you look up at him through unfocused eyes just pushes him over the edge. "f-fuck, makin' me cum faster than a vi—"

satoru doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence before his orgasm hits him, fast and hard, and his cum shoots out of him in a thick, hot load deep inside of your welcoming cunt. both your chests heave as satoru collapses on top of you, resting his body on his forearms and his forehead on yours. "heh, good job, princess," he exhales, closing his eyes and letting his lips curve into a smile.

"y'did so go— aw, wait, are you cryin'?" satoru breathes, eyes fixed on the messy tears that fall down your cheeks. he slows his relentless pace inside of you to a stop and lifts a hand to wipe away your tears, fingers light and gentle against your wet face. "c'mon, don't cry, baby, y're makin' me feel bad."

"s-sorry," you mumble, voice shaking just enough for satoru to notice. he tuts and kisses your cheek, lips lingering just underneath your eye.

"you did so good, pretty girl," satoru murmurs, lowering his body and lying down on top of you. his face is barely a couple centimeters away from yours, and as he lowers himself, you swear can feel his dick slide in all the way. "shhh, lemme take care of you," he coos when a soft moan slips out of your lips. "does it hurt?"

"a little," you whisper, looking up at satoru through wet eyes. he smiles tenderly back down at you, peppering kisses all over your warm face. his hips rest on top of yours, and every little shift of his body feels like an avalanche in yours—satoru's heavy, especially when you're already weak from an hour of sex in his sheets.

"you're so cute," satoru mumbles, lips touching the corner of your mouth. "n' so pretty, too..." his mouth finds yours and he kisses you slowly, hands involuntarily finding themselves all over you. satoru doesn't bother attempting to speak anymore as he just takes you and all your beauty in—to him, the whole world is less than nothing in this moment compared to you.

satoru lifts his head to let you breathe, a playful smile on his lips the longer he looks at you. "aw, princess, why're you still crying?" he tuts when another tear falls down your cheek. "was i that mean? m' sorry, baby, don't cry, please?"

"snf, it's not you," you sniffle, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. but the second one tear's gone, another trails down your face to replace it. "i.. i don't know why m' crying," you try to explain, but the way satoru tilts his head like a confused puppy shows that your efforts are futile.

"c'mere," he rolls over onto his back and pulls you on top of him, dick still lodged deep inside you. satoru's head falls back onto a plush, white pillow as he lifts one hand to caress the side of your face. "'m not gonna let you cum until you stop cryin', baby."

"why not?" you ask petulantly, thighs starting to tremble from how deep satoru is. even when he's not trying to drive you crazy, he still manages to with how little he's moving now. he already got to cum—in fact, most of his cum is still inside of you, held there by his unmoving dick.

"'cause i'm gonna think you hate me."

"i don't hate you."

"then stop crying."

"fine," you huff, a tiny smile starting to grow on your face.

satoru matches your smile with one of his own and he nods in approval. "aw, you're so pretty when you smile like that f'me," he coos, eyes rounding as if he's looking at the cutest thing in the world—which, to him, is you. "stay like that n' i'll let you cum, 'kay?"

he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and nudges you off of him and onto your back, switching positions with you. satoru pulls out of you, cock glistening with a mixture of your slick and his cum before he plunges back inside and fills the empty space inside of you.

"t-toru—" you mewl out, thighs unconsciously clenching together before satoru pushes them apart again.

"shhh, be a good girl and—fuck, jus' like that," he groans, feeling your cunt clench around him with every thrust. a breathy laugh slips out of satoru's lips, a welcome addition to the wet, pornographic sounds coming from the two of you. "shit, baby, you fuck me up in ways you can't even fuckin' imagine," satoru mumbles, too lost in your shiny, dumbed-down eyes to form coherent thoughts.

with every thrust, satoru sinks deeper and deeper into your welcoming cunt, cursing and moaning about how good you take him. you're not really sure how long it takes for the coil in your stomach to snap—maybe seconds, minutes, even years—but it comes all at once, hitting you with the force of a wave and any remaining self-control you have dissolves.

you babble satoru's name over and over again, tears leaking out of the corners of your eyes as he talks you through it—in fact, you're practically getting off to the sound of his soft praises. "fuck, you're so cute, keep takin' me like the good girl i know you are," he groans, lips curled into a drunken smile. "gonna cum on me, baby? c'mon, use your words, i know y'can."

it's a miracle that he can keep running his mouth even as he gives you the best orgasm of your life—but somewhere in the hot fog that's your mind, you manage to gasp out a "yeah" amid satoru's increasingly sloppy thrusts. it feels like he's chasing his own pleasure more than yours, but you don't mind, because a moment later you're squirting all over his throbbing cock and holding onto him as if he's your lifeline.

"yeah, jus' like that, princess, you're so—" satoru cuts himself off with another laugh, chest heaving and eyes wild. he brushes his thumb underneath your swollen lips and wipes the little trail of drool. "fuck, what are you doing to me?" he mumbles, kissing you breathlessly, hardly caring whether or not either of you could breathe.

satoru watches as your eyes flutter shut and runs his thumb over your bottom lip. "heh, pretty girl, you did so good f'me," he whispers, a soft smile on his lips as he gazes down at you. "sleep well, you earned it..."

#osaemu #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo smut #satoru gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x y/n #gojo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x y/n

[glindyupland]

.

#so basically I don’t believe in myself at all anymore #I have poor judgment and can’t be trusted #also I think I’m a bad driver now because someone backed into my car #I was not in the car at all I was asleep inside #but I made myself believe that it was my fault #Then yesterday at work #and now it’s on paper that I have poor judgment and that’s what all my team will believe #and like I didn’t like myself before so like #can’t even look in the mirror now #it feels really awful touching my body at all and realizing I’m still human and still there and still this useless body #Anyway happy Easter #there’s no way to say it that won’t come out genuine #but I’m really happy Jesus was resurrected #also kind of telling for me personally that Easter is about new life #so symbolically with everything that’s happening I was reborn into a completely different monster #but this time it’s actually real #I am a bad person and I have all the paperwork to prove it now #I feel so fucking disgusting. like honestly the most disgusting tar-y feeling #I have no faith or confidence in myself #maybe had like 40% before but now it’s at like 5% and when I think about it I realize that 5% is just me lying to myself #tw #Glindy’s Posts #I do also find it wild that the person who broke the rules didn’t get in trouble. the action that was at fault didn’t get in trouble. #I got all but maximum punishment for someone telling leadership that I denied them help. that I told them ‘no I won’t do that’ #not what happened but that’s what the other person said so I must be remembering wrong. why should I believe me if nobody else did? #it feels like what I did got someone hurt. like it feels like I put someone’s life in danger or let someone set fire to something. #it was just someone opening the wrong door. but now it feels like I endangered my coworkers and I can’t make up the bond I broke #and everyone is going to see the worst in me always now. there’s no good left. #I don’t know how to do my job anymore. it really fucked up all the good out of me for something I didn’t even do or mean? #I’m no good.

[paperultra]

hammock.

Pairing: OPLA!Vinsmoke Sanji x Reader Word Count: 866 words Warnings: Kissing, slightly suggestive

“You’re blushing.”

“I am?” Sanji gazes up at you, dreamy and distracted. “I didn’t realize.”

You hum. You’re only vaguely aware of the hammock’s sway, of the blanket slipping down your shoulders as you prop yourself up and place your hands on his cheeks. Warmth soaks into your palms like sunlight, and you tilt your head, thumbs drawing over the flush on his cheekbones and tapping gently.

“Don’t say this is because of me,” you tease.

His hands reach up to cover yours. “Then I’d be lying,” he replies, turning his head to kiss your fingertips, “and I would never lie about how you make me feel.”

“Not even if you hated me?”

“The day I hate you is the day I should be tied to an anchor and fed to the sharks.”

“That’s awful.”

“I know.” His eyes search your face, and they narrow as he murmurs, “Who could ever hate someone as gorgeous as you?”

(Whoever coined the phrase “flattery will get you nowhere” has never met Sanji, you’re sure of it.)

Leaning down, you press your lips to his nose, to his forehead, to each cheek. A contented sigh brushes past your ears as you do so.

Eventually, you make your way to the source of his sweet words. You pause, and Sanji opens his eyes as you hover above his lips, just shy of meeting them with your own.

“Something wrong, sweetheart?”

“No,” you say. “Just wanted to see your pretty eyes before I kiss you senseless.”

He stills. Then he laughs, the sound blooming from deep within his chest and staining your world with gold. “Well – aren’t you a charmer,” Sanji quips, stroking your waist and pecking your cheek. His words are softer than usual. “Careful with my heart, now.”

“Don’t worry,” you say, and you kiss him fully, drinking in the way his grip on you tightens and the way his breath stalls in his throat when you speak against his mouth. “It’s in good hands, I think.”

The kiss is just as warm as his cheeks. You feel drunk as you pull away, and Sanji lifts his head to chase your lips, whispering your name with the reverence of a believer.

“You guys mind doing that somewhere other than here?”

The two of you freeze in each other’s embrace.

You jolt out of it and push yourself up, accidentally knocking the breath out of Sanji in the process. He wheezes and curls up as you lock eyes with a very unimpressed swordsman.

“Z-Zoro! We”—you scramble to unrumple your shirt, which had ridden up underneath the blanket—“I’m sorry, we – we thought everyone was going to be in the lounge for a while.”

“You thought wrong.” Zoro strides past and drops his laundry on the couch. “This isn’t your personal bedroom, Sanji.”

“I’m aware of that,” Sanji replies, annoyance dripping from every syllable. “Now would you mind just stepping out for a few more minutes?”

“Sanji, it’s fine,” you whisper, patting his chest. “The mood is kinda killed now, anyway.”

He visibly droops. “I know.”

“Good.”

“I wasn’t asking for your opinion, mosshead.”

The room fills with a completely different kind of tension as Zoro crosses his arms at Sanji’s response.

You, still trying to cover up your embarrassment, move to block Sanji’s view, pushing his bangs away from his face and attempting to smooth out his frown lines. His cheeks are still flushed, though the color is quickly fading back to normal as his attention turns back to you.

“C’mon, Zoro wants to fold his laundry. Let’s go up to the lounge and see what the others are up to.”

“Is that what you really want to do?”

“Yeah.” (It is now, anyway.)

“… All right, then,” Sanji acquiesces.

With that, you push the blanket off and clamber out of the hammock, nearly tripping and falling flat on your face in your haste to do so. Sanji follows close behind, and once he’s on his feet, you turn to Zoro and give him another quick apology before you and Sanji leave the men’s room.

“Of all the times to be interrupted,” your companion mutters as the two of you head to the lounge. He takes your hand in his and interlaces your fingers. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s nobody’s fault. Ships don’t have a lot of privacy …” You think back to the moment Zoro spoke up and groan, burying your face in your free hand. “I’m just embarrassed he caught us like that. I didn’t even hear him come down.”

“Me neither.” Sanji lets out an irritated sigh and then looks over at you; his displeasure softens. “At the very least, I’ll take it to mean you were enjoying yourself.”

Your face heats up. “Of course,” you say quickly. “I like our alone time."

“I like it too.” He squeezes your hand and leans over to whisper into your ear. “Next time, I could be on top, so I can hide you away if anyone walks in unannounced.”

“Wh – Sanji! Don’t say it like that!”

The man grins as you smack his arm playfully, planting a kiss to your temple as penance.

“Just evening the score, sweetheart.”

#one piece #opla #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #opla sanji #one piece live action #opla fanfiction #one piece fanfiction #reader insert #fluff #slightly suggestive bc of the comment sanji makes at the end haha #sorry for the delay in requests i was in an accident yesterday and life things are happening so !! #i am posting this which has been in my drafts for a little bit