honestly no wonder harrow forced ianthe to lobotomize her so she could save gideon. listen…LISTEN…if i was a secret-war-crime cult nunlet princess worshipped by my entire planet and the only person that (barely) kept me in check was my childhood nemesis—a butch a year older than me, towering over me in stature and physical prowess, and so hot it made my teeth hurt from how hard my jaw clenched in her presence, who wielded a two-handed seven-foot sword and had irritatingly huge biceps and told very lewd stupid jokes and also learned how to wield an entirely new weapon and be my bodyguard with startling accuracy in three months—only to have us finally learn to trust each other because we got invited to a magic murder mystery and then before the bubble burst i spilled the worst secret about myself that i was born because my parents murdered an entire generation and tried to Kill Her along with them and she just wouldnt die, and i told her this expecting a swift death i believed i deserved, only for her to fucking cradle me in her big butch arms and kiss me on my forehead with her soft butch mouth and just. forgive me for a shameful weight ive carried my entire life and then MAKE AN ACTUAL NECRO/CAV VOW with me despite every evil thing i have done to her……to have her tell me, in the end, bleeding and broken after putting up the most beautiful and glorious fight of her life, that she understands purpose and she understands duty and she knows loyalty more fiercely than ever now, that she knows who she is to me, that there is no her without me….to have her backed into a corner and make the ultimate sacrifice…..for me…..to recite scriptural wedding vows of eternity to me in her last wisps of soul-consciousness…..if i thought there was even a snowflake’s chance in the pyre that i could save her by turning myself into her very own locked tomb, i’d be begging ianthe tridentweirdius to crack my skull open and turn me to mush too, goddamn. i understand you harrowhark girl you don’t have to explain a thing to me. god said you couldn’t undo the lyctor’s bond bc it’d kill you. you told god and his angels that not even a lyctor’s bond could outshine the power of female spite and lesbianism and they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe you. but i heard you loud and clear and i was 17 and hormonal and hopelessly romantic not too long ago unlike those fucking dinosaurs and i’m saying it’s valid it’s what i would have done and really everyone should be thanking you for not being worse and more wretched about it, all things considered
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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 8: Duke)
<<Part 7: Damian | Part 9: Barbara >>
[Masterlist]
Duke: My turn!
Bruce: Finally I can count on something normal.
Bruce: [migraine noises]
Dick: I feel like this information and Damian is a bad combination.
Damian: Grayson, I am offended you assume I need lessons from Duke on how to lead troops
Tim: You should bring the beard back Bruce.
Steph: Yeah your amnesia era was kind of a slay
Barbara: My dad’s Batman era was not a slay
Jason: Well maybe slay in a different sense-
Duke: That’s all behind us we’re moving on!
Bruce: I don’t think-
Jason: Bruce sit down and don’t pretend like this isn’t exactly what you did to form your child gang
Bruce: I don’t-
Steph: Look into our eyes, Bruce, and tell us, your crimefighting children, that you did not start a child gang
Bruce: Hn.
Tim: That’s what I thought.
Steph, Barbara, Cass: [hysterical laughter]
[talking over each other]
Dick: That is not what I looked like!
Jason: I looked so much cooler as Robin than that!
Tim: I looked cooler because I had pants, I can’t speak for you two.
Damian: My costume has been improved vastly since that iteration.
Steph: Alright, traffic cones.
Duke: Okay really not the point
Barbara: Seems like this step should’ve come before the outfits?
Duke: It was my first time starting a gang let me live
Jason: Shouldn’t “training” have been part of-
Duke: This is not open for criticism thank you
Steph: Yeah only Bruce can critique Duke’s child-gang leader skills as a fellow child-gang leader
Bruce: [noises of general regret]
Bruce: Why does something absurd always happen with you guys when I’m gone
Tim: Maybe because nobody in this house knows how to cope with loss or something I don’t know
Dick: Also it gets so much worse Bruce
Dick: I mean that wasn’t exactly your fault
Jason: Cop Batman didn’t seem to agree
Barbara: [sighs]
[talking over each other]
Jason: Woah woah woah
Tim: Hired??? You did not hire-
Damian: I did not say that?
Jason: Also I don’t remember being asked nicely I remember saving your a-
Dick: ‘Specialist’ sounds pretty cool and professional thank you Duke :)
Steph: Is that Damian in a Court of O-
Damian: The situation was resolved I am fine now
Tim: “Beat up some bird guys”
Jason: I mean besides the imprisonment and attack on a school and Dick leaving us in the dust for a hot second there that’s basically what happened
Dick: I did not-
Bruce: Excuse me?
Duke: Don’t worry about it :)
Tim: That’s n-
Cass: [signing] The Court of Owls is still-
Damian: That is libel
Steph: What a cute picture
Jason: Weren’t there casualti-
Duke: I have no idea what you’re talking about everything was fine in the end and everything is good!
Bruce: I am... so worried about all of you
Barbara: Well anyway let’s keep that streak going, it’s my turn. >:)
<<Part 7: Damian | Part 9: Barbara >>
[Masterlist]
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