#i am so sorry for inflicting this on all of you

[sneez]

linocut study of the poster for the 1924 film orlacs hände :-)

#artwork #the hands of orlac #conrad veidt #my most recent linocut hooraaaay i really like how this one turned out #i have done two others which i havent posted yet but i will soon. or at least one of them (i dont like how the other one turned out so much #anyway i love this film his acting in it is superb he makes the most incredible tortured faces #really a masterclass in forehead vein performance #i am away from my lino tools now that i am back at uni so i cannot make any more for a while :-( alas #i think it is probably a good thing though because i have inflicted multiple injuries upon myself as a result of doing so much #dopey bastard disease #i hope you are all well my friends!!! my usual apologies for unanswered asks which i say every time i post everything. i am sorry i love yo #oh also i should confess i only have black ink so i cobbled this together by printing on white and then red paper and splicing the two #pictures together digitally. i am sorry for my deception </3 i am a fraud. a con artist #he he. con artist. artist. he he

[actual-changeling]

if you do not follow/haven't seen my recent posts, i really recommend you read this one and this one before continuing, just to make it hit the right way.

also reminder that i have an ao3 right here (and it's not all pain, promise!)

sorry in advance :)

-

the more time passes, the easier it is for joel to talk about sarah. it still hurts, always will, an old bullet buried in his heart surrounded by scar tissue, but except for a few memories, words don't make him bleed anymore. tommy tentatively starts bringing her up once he notices that joel no longer flinches when he mentions her name, and it feels good to breathe life into their shared experiences, his brother the only one who comes close to understanding his pain but also the joy that colored their years.

ellie asks, too, just as hesitantly as tommy at first, but soon her curiosity takes over and not a day passes by without a question in-between sentences about his past. joel answers all of them, stories spilling from his lips and spinning themselves into a sarah-shaped web that he can share with her.

"she played soccer, right? when did she win her first competition?"

there's a few sports teams in jackson, and of course the soccer one caught her eye, making joel dread all the twisted ankles and bruised shins he was going to have to tend to. getting grass stains out of sarah's uniforms had always been a task and a half, and eventually they both stopped caring about it and just watched them pile up, turning white fabric a greenish-brown.

joel opens his mouth, the coffee cup in his hand hovering above the kitchen table, and then he stills, every muscle in his body turning to ice.

ellie's joel? is drowned out by the ringing in his hears, knuckles turning white and gripping the porcelain so tightly he can feel it crack in his palm, and he must have stopped breathing because his vision is growing fuzzy, black dots scurrying in his periphery.

joel lets the cup fall more than he sets it down, stomach turning, bile rising in his throat, because ellie asked him a question about sarah, his sarah, and he doesn't remember the answer.

it can't be, right? just a small gap in his memory, nothing big, it'll come back to him in an hour and he'll tell ellie about it later. but the panic squeezing his chest is real, terror slithering up his neck and curling around his ear whispering what else did you forget?

more than ever before, he tries to think back to all of it, from the first time he held her in his arms to the moment he buried her, and something odd happens to him when he finds that so much of it is. blurry. frayed at the edges, burned holes and white blotches obscuring important and unimportant details alike, memory an old role of film decomposing in the back of his mind.

the color of her baby blanket (blue, it had to be blue, he can't see), the first movie he watched with her, her favorite book in primary school, the way he did her hair on the first day of kindergarten, the friendship bracelets they made together, the posters on her wall, the dress she wore to her first dance (purple right? right?), memories surfacing as his panic cracks him open like an earthquake, and joel tries to cling to them, nails scratching at the parts that should be there but aren't until he tastes blood, desperation growing and growing because he is forgetting her.

"joel you're scaring the fuck out of me right now what's wrong?"

ellie's voice is distant, and he hates worrying her, hates the almost hysteric edge beneath it when she repeats herself, hands squeezing his shoulders, softly, first, then harder when he doesn't respond. all of the years that he didn't even know she existed, memories she has that he never will, all the firsts and buts and what ifs and failures that define a childhood, their innocent light fractured into vivid fantasies by the stained glass window of life. he has had all that and more with sarah, clung to it in the after to remind himself that she is real, that he is still a father even with his daughter buried by a nameless river.

it is all he has left of her, the childhood she never got to outgrow, and it's fading in a mind that has mourned her for longer than she got exist.

not for the first time, joel wishes he hadn't flinched, his brain worthless if it allowed sarah to fade away. without ellie bound to his heart, he would have tempted fate again for that alone.

-

"who hurt you" too many people to count and luckily tumblr lets me make it everyones problem

#alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #joel miller #joel and sarah #ellie williams #sarah miller #ficlet #i am so sorry but also not at all #please leave your pain in the tags or comments or my inbox i enjoy reading it #keeps me going #at this pace someone should take tumblr away from me before i give myself or someone else a stroke #anyway i promise this is like the worst it will get #at least today #who knows what my brain spits out tomorrow #but im really on a roll today! #time to read some fanfics and then probably write for my own so i can inflict more psychic damage in the future #if you see me use :) you know shit is about to go down #hi mutuals who i am directly stabbing with this ily

[fellhellion]

#feel free to reblog the meme if u like lmao #just leave the tags out #vent.txt #<- sorry just need to have a moment lmao #inflicted w the yearnings for romantic relationship yet again 😞 but so keenly aware of how much I’d have to unpack in myself to truly be a #part of it #like. I don’t trust people. I don’t confide in people. I tell them nothing about myself for years and years and I used to resent a little #that that was enough for them. that they didn’t NEED to know. that me loving and caring for them was enough. but it’s so silly because like #how can you resent people for not knowing what you won’t tell them. so thankfully THAT has passed #but it’s just like. there are so many issues. like I just CANNOT conceptualise myself as romantically attracted #attractive* #not even in a self deprecating sense it just feels like an immutable fact. I can’t imagine someone looking at me w romantic desire. #and it’s like. I honestly don’t know if I could let my walls down enough to actively love someone back like that #it’s so easy to love from afar. and hell haha maybe THATS because it’ll always be easier to love someone when they can’t know all of you to #love in return #but I just don’t know how I can do it. I don’t know how to view the risk as being worth it #and at the end of the day I’ll be okay if romantic love isn’t in the cards for me. you can live a happy life without #but ah fuck. sometimes the but I am so lonely.jpg hits

[chloecherrysip]

Absolutely nothing can stop Mario now. He's fought his way through the airship, he's found Luigi in the middle of a jailbreak, and he's finally about to reunite with his brother. What could go wrong?

Bowser happens to be nearby, though. And he's just had an epiphany about his new foe's biggest weakness.

(Alternatively: A Hypothetical Version of Mario & Luigi's Reunion in the Mario Movie That Would Cause Me Irreparable Psychic Damage.)

(I decided to clean this up a little and post it on AO3 too! A slightly rougher version is still available here on tumblr, but if you'd prefer this format, here you go!)

#mario movie #super mario bros movie #mario and luigi #super mario bros #mario movie speculation #i am a pretty prolific fic writer in other fandoms but i made a brand-new AO3 account for this #because the venn diagram of the people who read my previous fic and the people who want to read this fic is probably just two circles lol #also i think it's EXTREMELY likely that i write more mario fic after the movie's out so let's just get this set up now! #anyway thank you to everyone who had something nice to say in the comments/reblogs of the last post!!!! YOU ARE TOO SWEET #and sorry for the pain i inflicted. i DID warn you ahead of time!! #i like angst (with the knowledge that it all ends well) a little too much :) :) :) :) :) #also if you already read the other version no big changes were made!!! i just cleaned up and tightened the writing in some places #for instance: i realized that i used the word 'little' like six times in the last couple of paragraphs so i cut some of those out lolol #cherrysip fic

[trainingdummyrabbit]

< <"

#piktalk #not 2 get sad first thing in the morning but I Am Sad First Thing In The Morning #verrrrry frustrating having a Problem that would be very helped with company #but also a major symptom of that Problem is Being Genuinely Convinced Everyone Is Out To GET You #its irrational and stupid but th more i try t work with it th more it becomes clear i cant . Do anything abt it. #like it feels stupid in retrospect but in th moment it sure is treated like an obvious fact. like where th hell did that come from #which is to say: if uve ever talked to me ever in th past 4 months I Am So Sorry i promise i wasnt always like this jdjdjg #and is to say i do want to see u and do enjoy your company i am just inflicted w a high level fear spell at all times . #iam not doing Great but i have work to do so i cant be worrying abt that rn (<- does not have a choice)

[musical-chick-13]

*gritting my teeth and yelling at myself in the mirror* EVEN IF YOU WRITE IT AND IT'S BAD, AT LEAST IT WILL EXIST THAT'S BETTER THAN THE IDEA GOING UNREALIZED BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO FUCKING WRITE THIS

#my god this started out as a thought exercise to Mull Over Something and it became...whatever tf is happening now #you don't understand I had to crisis-discuss my Issues with myself over this with THREE SEPARATE PEOPLE #I'M AT!! MY WIT'S END!!!! #WRITING IS FUN I SCREAM WHILE SOBBING AND HITTING THE WALL WITH MY FISTS #it will be a victorious day for ALL of us when this piece is finally done #I am so sorry for inflicting this particular type of my derangement onto the people who follow this blog. those of you who put up with me #are braver than any us marine o7

[mondaymelon]

………i have no idea whats happening w u and @/anonbinaryweirdo and atp im too afraid to ask 😰

....you see theres this silly little fic they wrote about a silly little reader and a silly little childe in which reader C O N S U M E S childe. like they take the man and shove them into their mouth nom nom and then swallow em and hes just. residing. in their stomach.

i am so sorry

but it had to be said. the reason of my rage should be known to the world. of course im not so foolish and stupid to put the link here. that would only rupture the eyes of the innocent

however if you truly do wish to read... that... itll be found where it should be seeked.

#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles! #★ ˎˊ˗ inbox. #oli was certainly not in a peak mental state after writing that #i dont know how anyone could put those words on a paper call it a day and then get a good nights rest afterwards #NO. #those words would HAUNT YOU #haunt your rest and lock up your soul so that all you can think about is what horrible of a sin you have commited. #BUT I MEAN WHO AM I TO SAY #i wasnt the one who wrote that horror!! #as silly inducing it was that does not make up for the trauma it inflicted #oli's moots are all just washing their eyes with bleach. #unless. #theyre freaky like that. #imean... you go? #good for you. me personally. i just. dont llike. consuming people. like eating them. so they travel through my body #down through my esophagus and ... caress my heart on the way down #wai wai how the fuck does that even work?? he goes down and then like grazes your heart. what. but hes travelling #down to your stomach. so how would he be able to... #“it felt... so... so right.” #IM SORRY BUT THATS THE LINE THAT STARTED THE TEARS #THAT WAS THE MOMENT I REALIZED THAT I WAS BROKEN #FOREVER BROKEN BECAUSE OF THIS FIC FR GUYS #I BITE MY TONGUE ITS A BAD HABBIITTT 🥀🥀

[napping-sapphic]

<3 storm hugs 🫂 (if u want em)

Thank you for the storm hugs!!! 🫂🫂🫂😭😭❤️❤️❤️!!!!

#asks #my franticness ended up waking up my mom #who came in Confused™️ #at why i was pacing around at 5am #she then proceeded to ACCUSE ME of having a panic attack😤 #rude as hell honestly #anyway i took some Prescription Drugs™️ and ended up sleeping for like 15 hours straight #and now the weather is good and so am i!!! #so ty very much for the storm hugs!!! #they were very much needed #hugs and sleep the cure of all time fr #very sorry i inflicted all my anxiety on to yall again though😓 #i was in a State™️ #i am sending you so much appreciation and love though anon thank you so much <3!!!!!!! #💚💜💙❤️🩷🩵🧡🧡💜💕💞💓💖❣️ <- for you!!!

[hellsvestibule]

Apparently Moriarty in Traum took the Norn, the 3 fates of Norse mythology, into himself, so he could weave together the threads of fate, presumably to regain some of the control over his future he lost. This immediately stood out to me, because the other crime butterfly spider clown, Mephistopheles, carries around a pair of scissors which I theorized way back whenever, are actually the shears of Atropos the inflexible, one of the moirai, fates of Greek mythology, specifically the one who cuts the threads of fate and determines your exact moment of death. So if I’m right he long ago did a similar thing as what Moriarty did. For. Reasons? The opposite reasons even. To sever fate.

Pictured: person whose eyes function in a similar way to Atropos, specifically annoyed by said scissors, and focusing on them as the subject of curiosity through the event (calling him scissors as a nickname) although if I’m right he’s absolutely using them the wrong way, which might be why Shiki struggles to pinpoint what bothers her so much about them (when she meets other heroic spirits in this event and does not give their weapons this kind of attention)

On the other hand if he stole them to cut the threads of fate it’s odd that he concocts an entire scenario here for you to beat him up until he turns good, since you’d think he could have just severed the fate of his bad self and killed him with the scissors or that when teaming up with you to do so he’d at least use them the right way to show off how he’s The Strongest (TM CR). So there are some things that feel Off about this theory I admit. However since the shears of Atropos work as an authority which can undermine even Zeus, I can still maybe come up with a few justifications as to why they’d give him this motif.

The boy who hands out explosives in the form of insects is actually a distinct character in the play Faust. He is basically a manifestation of Fausts subconscious desire to escape into a dream world, a reality he can control and manipulate. said character has a more beautiful, youthful form than Faust, so others are naturally drawn to him and trust him. Faust calls this character “son” and loves him quite a bit even though he’s basically a nameless one off character introduced briefly in part 2. Since our Mephy is not a devil, but a homunculus Historical Faust raised, part of the basis for him probably comes from this character, among several others in the play. Of course, characters who represent everything in the story are pretty commonplace in fate, but scissors are not at all relevant to the play, while pretty much every other motif on Mephy I can pinpoint as something particular mentioned on some character or other in Goethes Faust. but in particular this “charioteer boy,” who hands out fake gold which turns into explody bugs, is within his scene, associated with the Greek god of wealth, Plautus, a god who was blinded by Zeus so he could not tell right from wrong, a decision meant to benefit the already fortunate, since Plautus would just as readily bestow his wealth on an already wealthy person as a broke one. Fausts Plautus is, of course, just a conman version of himself. But he really seems to believe in this kid and want him to succeed.We see in fgo Mephys voice lines imply he struggles to tell good from bad in a way the devil in the play is not at all preoccupied with understanding, but a false construct based on Plautus might be, as Plautus is not actually a bad person, and in mythology there are tales written meant to rectify what Zeus did to him.

At the very least, the sheers of Atropos renders decisions made by the fates immutable even to Zeus, so the input of any other authority in the Greek pantheon regarding who the fates choose to kill is basically irrelevant, they have the final say. However even if that’s the case, either he can’t use them properly as a death tool, is purposefully destroying them by using their ”determines time of death” shtick to instead make his dinky little time bombs, or he’s saving the reveal they cause instant death for something special although it’s hard to rationalize he’d be able to keep it secret this long if that’s the case, since he can’t shut up about literally anything else. I’d say it doesn’t have anything to do with the Greek pantheon specifically and more to do with a desperate bid for agency, the same way Moriarty uses the norn. It’s possible he just doesn’t know what they are, or forgot what he’s even doing with them. Or it’s possible I’m just entirely wrong and they are, as his artist says, just a random decision! But considering how well researched the rest of the motifs on him seem, I still have doubts it’s irrelevant, I especially had to bring it back when Moriarty who assumed all this adjacent clown symbolism to Mephy, also made the choice to absorb the Norn. Since if I’m right Mephy here has the specific tool which could undermine what Moriarty has done. One spider clown to weave fate and another to sever it

#fgo Mephistopheles #throwing out a speculation that’s been lingering on my mind #sorry it’s so long ​I admit it I like buggy the clown too much #if you want citations for any of this btw I have it it’ll just make the post even longer so I left it out #also I know I’m being presumptuous on how Atropos works in fate #but cutting the threads that determine someone’s lifeline easily translates as an insta death skill similar to shikis #since if you hold the scissors and decide that time is right now it’s basically the ultimate death tool #if Moriarty can just say he has the norn in order to steer his ideal trajectory for the future #I don’t see why Mephy can’t say the same #you would probably need all 3 to actually steer fate but in order to inflict death probably just the sheers #again I couldn’t even tell you what his intent is here but his plotline mirrors Moriarty’s #the fact that they gave Moriarty a plot paraleling what I thought was sort of a crack-y theory feels quite convenient #butterfly effect sorta thing… #also I am sorry I spelled shears sheers like 50 times in the original post my brain chose the wrong word there lmao

[andromeda3116]

boy i love getting tipsy and then drunk and gushing about my special interest to people who cannot possibly care about this even half as much as i do and being deeply annoying and embarrassing myself and wanting to crawl into a hole once the harsh light of sobriety hits

#like i cannot stress enough that i want to die right now #it's not a physical hangover it's a mental hangover. a ''why am i incapable of shutting the fuck up'' hangover. #i become so deeply annoying when drunk that i should not be allowed to use my phone #i turn into the goddamned boom de yada commercial and inflict it on everyone in range #like i go off about the discworld series a LOT #one time at a party i cornered two guys who had no science background and tried to explain how avogadro's number was found #i gush about fullmetal alchemist or the story structure of everything everywhere all at once #i cry over interstellar or the cosmos series #my friends and family back home all already know this and give me their ''sure thing sarah now let's get you to bed'' looks #too few people here have been exposed to this to yet know how to stop it #eta: i should also stress that when i discovered that said guys did not know what vsepr theory was my reaction was not to stop #it was to get a piece of paper and start explaining lewis dot structures #eta again: you know after considering this long-standing history of doing this i feel paradoxically less embarrassed #like it will be very funny to explain the avogadro's number story and all the things i have done this about #like look i'm sorry i hit you with my special interest gushing but i have done this many times before to many people #the ''drunk!sarah highbeams of random essays and lectures'' is well-established and tbh kind of a rite of passage at this point

[volfoss]

the nature of volfoss is they will make translating proper nouns actually the most hellish thing int eh world.

#twist rambles #like. theres one location that has about 5 diff translations. the machine translation has it as lily june or liliegen. then i get the #physical map. ok. its lelie june. thats fine. and its the same when its shown in the in game map when ur travelling. and THEN i get a title #card in game. which happens w locations often. and it shows up as lelie jene. i nearly started crying. and there was one more machine #translation one but i also like. did not remember bc i recognize the kanji now. which is a plus to all this i think. but it is so infinitel #frustrating. i didnt have all the resources i did when i started it and shalvas' name translated to charbas/charbus OFTEN. so in my brain #that is his name. it is not. the only name i havent had issues w is uchidas and thats bc its like. actually japanese and not the scariest #spelling that they can inflict on man. some of the other things that are definitely SOMETHING translation wise is that like. a lot of the #official english on the map is misspelled. and im staying accurate to the map. so theres typos. not even to get into characters that im lik #sure appear once. and thats it. and i NEVER know what their name is. bc its not important enought o be in the gallery. rip to whatever the #official spelling of riggin/rigging is. i will never know. #♟ #the amt of time chris has had to wake up to me having the WORST time bc the translation stuff is so inconsistent w proper nouns. the MANY #creature names spelled weird. iron meiden and like. 5 million others. the amt of times i have (sic) in my doc by their names is far too man #sorry i love to complain. it IS a labor of love. but i am also so like. worried abt some of the names. can you imagine having to write a #serious paragraph when a guys name is ax fart. because thats one of the guys names.

[impostoradult]

#LGBTQ #sorry i really enjoyed this #so now i am inflicting it on all of you

[fern-blart]

#fandom #watchmen #i am so sorry for inflicting this on you all #i made this in a fit of delirium in college and it scares me whenever i see it among my files

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fascinating lens on taylor's goings on in s6 there re: Romance. epic win that they have rian turn them down but i'm also really not sure why they did. oh you know, rian who's always defined by being so prudent [montage of actually pretty much everything seemingly defining rian has been pretty anti prudent] like ok w/e

but we start out with taylor Particularly Unmotivated By Work and instead watching a The Bachelor beach proposal which involves extasis through this Reality(tm) pastiche of romance. i am assuming. wherein the journey Ends with this transcendent all-consuming joy upon the realization of said Romance for one contestant. then when their somehow still bestie mafee (relevant tangents about how all taylor's relationships seem to involve their having an approach where they have low standards like "well but i guess this is all i can get / expect" including that they can't even necessarily expect shit they like/enjoy/are at all supported by, while readily accepting whatever blame/reproach from others) is like "gee but are you really happy" they're apparently inspired to pursue happiness by pursuing romance. which they seem to consider is possible only through rian, intriguing here when the entire basis of their dynamic seems to be [trapped in work hell together] like boy we have nothing outside our jobs? i sure hope we can be Everything to each other then :) and how it's even more baffling that rian is completely unbaffled by this development when you might operate on some assumptions like "you should have ever seemed to enjoy any interactions you've ever had" to consider choosing more vulnerability and more time / effort spent on this relationship, and "you also don't need to have Found Fault with someone / otherwise have some grievances or dislike of them to not want to date them" especially if rian's apparent sense of responsibility for taylor's theoretical negative feelings about rejection supposedly doesn't involve thinking about any power dynamics, she just feels the need to repeatedly reassure them she'd actually Love to date or have sex but she's just so set on not dating through work, b/c of the complications, that she's never considered not having casual sex with bosses and also never mentioned this stance to turn down winston nor done anything but revel in how he might feel about even being rejected as a conversational partner. too prudent to mention it. certainly also a relevant matter that it Need Not Be Explained to anyone that winston for one is excluded as a potential Romantic partner for pretty much everyone i guess. whilest as this potential mirror to taylor, he's not only considering specifically rian w/"we're similar; let's hang out; i'd like to have sex maybe even" (though winston's sexuality, like his communicative capacities, is also simply Not Allowed) but also seems to be like "i guess this is all i can get / expect" or hanging on for a long time to the possibility of Otherwise at his own expense or taking blame / whatever pretty egregious treatment like. taylor being willing to talk to wendy still is akin to winston still being willing to talk to rian. though maybe that's changed by the end of s6; it'd be very warranted after the pretty make or break [rian & winston Share An Interest; hang out outside work about it] moment there and also after Everything Else on its own, just like how it'd be very warranted if taylor expecting Nothing Better from wendy could turn into their hardly being willing to interact

anyways, sure is fortunate for taylor (or is it???) that Work becomes more enriching for them suddenly, and through someone with whom they have this promising personal dynamic with, a Peer with whom, in fact, they do both seem to find reward in interacting with each other / want and choose to do so, imagine, while [reiterating for emphasis]: they are both finding reward in interacting and feeling Complementary rather than only seeing exactly themself in each other, while having this respect for each other and flexibility and knowing they don't Have to work together, and may not always be doing so.

but most to the point it sure is something that the season starts off with taylor being dissatisfied with their work situation and responding by not being at work and instead watching people be overjoyed about their (also, relevantly, Peak Normal Correct Cishet) romance, though they don't outright claim to straightforwardly enjoy this. then they Do outright claim to us repeatedly, if ever begrudgingly, that everything rian does is worthy &/or sympathetic (and totally comprehensible and consistent so as to believably retain any sense of Character....) while every time they interact, it's a business meeting and one or both of them is unhappy about some part of it. but then once taylor's asked to think about their happiness Beyond Work they apparently are simply motivated to go ask someone out, and it may as well be rian For Lack Of A Better Option really, but then there's the wrench of "for some reason rian is unsurprised and not at all put off by this, or even just somewhat confused" and "for some reason rian's like 'sorry but no. fr im soooo sorry'" with these perspectives of [happiness Outside Work = romance] and [someone deemed Objectively Worthy = you'd of course at least consider romance, or else you must think actually they're Unworthy in some way, or have some more general Reason you'd reject others categorically in just the same way] (rian rejecting winston for unworthiness so much that she doesn't even need to bother actually telling him as much; rejecting taylor for [i don't date through work] with followups to reassure them it's Not the unworthiness) (that on and off paper winston & taylor have no reason to not be kissing but i think we can assume that won't happen, b/c billions itself may also assume we understand that [winston is unworthy] is just true. &/or that anyone Worthy understands as much)

so hoping that taylor has Some kind of enriching lasting relationship with philip, truly, which was the hopes for winston and rian but the updated hope is his enriching lasting disengagement with rian, f

#winston billions #AND rian having some of the worst material re: sex billions has ever inflicted upon us. impressive. sorry to this character #(and like.................has she Not prior had casual sex through work while she's been willing to do so / hasn't had nights & weekends??) #that makes no sense either. it's for winston's sake i'm glad she hasn't tried to be fwb there #wouldn't it be fun if we got s7 genderfluid rian. but we won't. fr it's like....why'd we get this character at all lmao #would've made more sense if she left at the end of s6 too. while the best thing we've gotten is taylor getting to further distinguish #themself from axe in of course good ways. the associated [philip seems so much more like A Character than rian despite also being new] #difficult to work in ''rian would be abusive towards winston if they were dating b/c she Already Is as (sometimes) work friends'' when #another issue is that rian's material isn't really being Examined when every character can only remark abt how cool & correct she always is #ultimately; at least....taylor you caaan't actually be mad at rian; gotta be some Other issue you're having bad feelings about.... #that winston being introduced so peripherally it was meant to be a oneoff & while (as viewed by other characters) being Incorrect and #Unsympathetic has created the conditions for someone who does end up w/this stronger sense of Being A Character #he's even autistic....while rian is adhd and hostile like ''at least i'm allistic and meritous'' #like yes i Will talk to you more than others maybe but offscreen & i Will also be bullying you b/c i am willing to and i certainly can. #dunno what to say about winston and tuk b/c we've still seen so relatively little & idk what we'll get for winston in s7 #that it's will's updated foul play website bio that Confirms he'll be in s7 at all; but i'm still not supposing he'll def get more than an #episode or two or w/e. or i suppose he could be sent off & return; they're still in production mode over there after all #i would really doubt canon would give us that romance but it would be....i dunno. earthshaking really lol haven't given it the most thought #canon might also think that would be insulting to tuk or something.... #or say As Much w/that continual threat of ''improving'' winston by making him Choose to be more normal now (: #everyone's always giving him the organic aba (abuse) either way but umm the Least you could do would be absorb it & Stop Bringing It Upon #Yourself....still supposing it's possible that their being Friends is considered to be dragging tuk back / dooming him to Loserdom #but as or more likely: he got to talk to tuk in the last ep to get him out of the way. it will never get focus #oh i went off track up there: finishing the thought to say i suppose it's assumed rian would not be shitty towards taylor like she would be #towards winston b/c they're Worthier; not supposedly inferior to her even as winston is considered to be #hence that rian Can give winston shit whenever she wants but just so happens to Not be that way towards anyone else. makes you think #mfw i run out of room writing on one page abt cam stone like ''i could've been more clearly relationship anarchist with it :(''

[homoeroticvillain]

i should allowed to be just as evil as my f/os

#sorry i was in a selfship mood so i checked the tag #and like all the imagines just do not jive with me #they're like 'imagine you and your f/o cooking together and its wholesome' #like nah bro i am poisoning him #yes this is specifically about hiyori of course it is #also hiyori doesnt eat solids so poisoning him even more i guess #none of the imagines is accurate to the pain and horror we inflict on eachother #i can not be normal huh #klepto talks to himself #klepto selfships

[darklightescape]

sometimes i will see weird beauty procedures i have never heard of in my life posted on like. snapchat or something as "satisfying videos" and let me tell you i am not satisfied watching them i am horrified. i see people microblading and and threading and waxing and lasering and tattooing on their eyeliner and their lipstick and plucking and coolsculpting and obsessively carving away everything this fucking capitalist hollywood poisoned american hellscape deems a flaw until they're left with a plastic sameness that still demands painstaking makeup contouring and perfect lighting and whatever clothing and hairstyle is on trend right now and filters and filters and filters just to be considered fucking PRESENTABLE and i want to shake their shoulders and beg "who told you that you needed this. what influencer on your feed is singing the praises of this, and who is sponsoring them. where can i find them. what kind of car do they drive. i'm going to slash their fucking tires."

#sorry i saw one too many brow threading clips and it inflicted me with poetic madness #i don't do anything to my eyebrows and do you know how many negative comments i've gotten about them?? #NONE!!! nobody gives a shit!!! nobody is looking at your fucking eyebrows!!!!! #and if someone has insulted your eyebrows in the past? #that person has fucking brain fungus!!! your eyebrows aren't ugly or weird they're your fucking eyebrows!!! #just AUGHHHHHHHH i am fortunate enough to already be a lost cause socially so i don't care about my looks #but i think about what this is doing to people who are already in vulnerable places with their body image #and it makes me borderline homicidal!!!! #death to the overmanicured human body!!!! long live body hair and bare faces and bushy brows and all that is so-called ugly!!!!!