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#i am now what with being unemployed and not even having a clear career path and i just suck oh my god like there’s nothing i can do right
thejosh1980 · 3 years
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Get a hair cut and get a real job.
I'm currently unemployed and I'm pissed off...
I came back to Australia, knowing the likelihood of being a full time musician (or studio owner), living in the NSW northern rivers, would be a long shot. Honestly, I just don't want to be a freelancer or self employed musician anymore unless it's a sure thing... I did that for many years, and I think I owe myself a little job security.
I haven't had a regular (part time) job or paycheck in 8 years. I also haven't had any government support (in England, Germany, or Australia) since 1999.
A few months back it was suggested I should sign up for unemployment, so I could get a little money coming in while looking for a new career. So I did... I figured, I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain... I could get a few bucks to help me until I find work or study, but more importantly I'd have the chance to get in touch with people out there who're in the business of careers advice, who are able to help me develop my new career, and help me find a proper honest job. I knew I needed help to find out what I want to do... I had ideas, but I really wasn't sure how to go about getting into a new industry.
I am not interested in a short term job solution, like washing dishes, I really want to find and work towards our future... Maybe I could study too... In fact, I am sure I should study something, to help me get a serious job. But what should I study??
One of the rules for getting unemployment benefits is, I have to sign up to a job agency. Easy... Done and dusted... It took a few minutes and suddenly I had an appointment... Awesome, someone out there is going to help me. But, this is where the problem lies... Signing up does not mean this agency is actually going to help. Signing up does not mean you'll get the ear of someone who can help direct you into a new career path. Signing up does not mean you'll get anywhere... In fact, signing up actually means unhelpful, demotivating, unsupportive...
At my first meeting at the agency, I thought they'd discuss aspects that might help me, but basically I found out I will be left to my own devices. I told the woman, I don't want to apply to just any old job... I'd rather find the one or two jobs that speak to me, and apply to those... I also told her I have no idea if my resume is any good. I haven't written a covering letter in 15+ years!!! I have no idea how to find out what kind of work I actually want to do. I need some careers advice... She offered very little, just a few websites to look at.
If reminded me of that time in England I went to the doctor because I was suffering from debilitating migraines... His consultation was “here's some pain killers” and “go online to look at what causes migraines...”
What the??
Isn't it his job to discuss what causes migraines and help me find out what I can do to stop them from happening or if they are happening, how to cope... Going online, using a computer screen, definitely wouldn't help!!!!!
This employment agency's job should be to help me find gainful employment... But instead what I found out was they just want to tick their boxes to satisfy the government and to keep getting their funding. At least that's the feeling I got...
They don't care what jobs I am applying for, as long as I apply for 8 per month (usually it's 20 but COVID happened)... For all they care, I could apply for the doctor's job at the local hospital, something I am completely not interested or qualified to do... and that would be OK. Other than the fact it's a waste of my time, the government's time AND the hospital's time. But it ticks the agencies boxes, so I should just go and do it.
This is no way to go forward...
You know what, I'll just get lazy... I mean, my motivation is low as it is these days... And now as long as I apply for the 8 jobs per month, any job that is, I'll get my money and everyone is happy...
Except I am not happy...
I actually want to find secure work that brings me some amount of joy, challenges and future...
She just didn't care... And she made it clear... It's such a shame...
Their website and emails advertise how they'll assist me. How they'll discuss job search options, help me with the interview process, resume feedback etc etc... All this stuff I really want help with, but no... She only cares that I apply to my 8 jobs per month...
They actually have a 5 star rating from the government!!
In fact today she called (20 minutes late for our scheduled phone appointment ) and got me off the phone in record time... Literally, she asked “are you looking for work?” and “have you had any work?”... Which I answered and then “OK, so let's book your next appointment”.... Goodbye!
It's really hard to find work here... Really hard... and much harder now that I can see I signed up to an agency (as requested by our government) that doesn't really care for anything other than ticking THEIR boxes... There's no client development. Surely no client satisfaction that's for sure.
There's a high unemployment rate here, with little to no jobs in anything other than tourism... I'm not one for waitressing or bar work... I need a career... but I feel like it's not even worth the energy to try to find a serious job, when the Government funded agency doesn't put the energy in either!
I'm going to take a quick swim, cool off, relax and think about how I can make better choices so I don't feel like this whole system is rigged to make unemployed people lazier and lazier...
I want to work, I really do...
Thanks for reading,
Josh
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alexmanesairstream · 4 years
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Okay. Time for my ramblings. You're all free to not read a word of this but I just needed to put my thoughts out there. So. Going into s2, my only reason for watching the show was seeing Alex Manes (bc Tyler is one of my all time favourite actors and also just ALEX MANES). But after seeing the promo and fan chatter before the premier I admit getting my hopes up and becoming a little more open to the entire show as a whole again. I had hoped that s2 would be a huge improvement in terms of writing, consistency, good representation and overall storytelling. Anyways, here’s just some thoughts I’ve had after the first episode if you care to read it. I've left the Malex (and Maria) thoughts to the end bc I wanted to speak about the entire episode first. The Malex part is right at the end if anyone is reading this and only wants to read that part.
Firstly, the episode felt very disconnected. I know there was a time jump but that also left so many questions unanswered.
Kyle and Alex are well aware of the alien secret, so it made no sense that they were in the dark about Rosa being alive and Max being dead. I would've thought that both of them would've been made aware of it immediately.
This may be more of a personal preference but I've always been more interested in sci-fi aspects of the show since I always find supernatural elements on shows to become repetitive and far fetched (yes I know it's supernatural but I've always liked when there was a scientific or logical explanation behind something). Ep1 (and I know Carina said this season would explore supernatural elements and not the sci-fi aspects of it) hinted a very big supernatural storyline which I wasn't too keen on- it just gave off some big vampire diaries 'the other side' vibes. I really wish they would've explores a more unique and original storyline rather than something so repetitive with regards to Max.
Now for the science and little sci-fi parts, I know they're strained for time so there's a lot that they have to leave out but most of the science seemed far fetched or rather lacking any good grounding explanation. I get that it's a show but I would've liked for it to have made some sense rather than the random stuff Michael and Liz would say that seemingly came out of thin air. Especially when they were having their science Bro moments and interacting with substances etc- where are these substances from? What to they do? How did you get it? Idk maybe I'm being overly obsessive over this but it irks me bc I always lose interest when I can't coherently follow a storyline with logic
Rosa being back. I don't have much to say on this. The sister dynamic is kinda cute. I really don't like this weird supernatural connection thing she has with Max. Like I said, very vampire diaries like and it's just not making sense (maybe I didn't pay close enough attention idk). Also, can we get some clarity on her age. She was 19 when she died. So she should be 29 in the present day. But she mentioned something about being the hottest 31 year old when Liz told her to get a license in California. So what's up with that.
Isobel pregnancy : Yeah there's a lot I could say here. I'm assuming they're trying to do a storyline on abortion and a woman's right to her own body which I would be eager to see but at the same time, Isobel being pregnant with her dead abusive rapist's baby seems a lot like it was done for drama (sigh). It also has me wondering how since it was clear in s1 that Isobel didn't want children while Noah did- obviously she may have changed her mind after their reconciliation after she came out of the pod and also bc I accidents happen (do condoms even work with aliens???).
Now for the Malex and Maria part of it:
Since Alex was not aware of Max dying, wouldn't he have then made an effort to speak to Michael again in those two weeks since the finale. I would understand him wanting to give Michael space if he had known about Max dying but since he didn't know, did he just accept that Michael left him waiting at the trailer and leave it at that until after Noah's funeral? That just doesn't make sense to me but moving on
So Michael says that Alex told him he was going to leave the airforce to play music. Lol lots to get into here. Firstly, kinda strange that Alex would have told him that specifically that night in the trailer. Also, I was under the impression that what we were shown on screen was all that there was in that interaction. I don't see at which point Alex could've mentioned him leaving the airforce before Michael had to run out. Secondly, Alex leaving the airforce to play music? That just seems hella out of character and frankly completely unrealistic. Alex has spent the last 10 years gaining different skills, learning new things about himself, evolving and changing as a person. While he may have always had this dream about making music the fact is most people end up studying something or doing something in a different direction than their teenage self wanted. Alex is no different. While he may have wanted to leave the airforce it just doesn't seem plausible that he'd want to explore an entirely new career path as a musician. It would've made more sense for him to go into a career with cyber security and his skills in hacking, coding and programming instead. Also, unless he's got hell money from somewhere it's just completely unrealistic. He's a veteran (there are so many homeless, unemployed, uninsured, struggling veterans) who surely would need a stable income. It just feels like it's some a random storyline to have when there's been no indication of it, and it's completely out of character for Alex to decide to pursue music after 10 years in the airforce when we aren't even sure if he's done anything related to it in the last 10 years. Maybe I'm being harsh because personally I would've liked Alex to pursue something with the skills he gained in the airforce and also bc I rarely believe anyone is the same person with the same dreams and passions they had when they were a teenager. I mean, we all grow, evolve and change and that's okay. I would've really liked for Alex storyline to have been along those lines- taking what he's learned out of something he didn't necessarily want and taking control of who he is with those skills and his future (apparently in order to be a captain and also to be a code breaker Alex would've need to have gone to college while in the airforce). Idk maybe I'm bias bc I absolutely love seeing BAMF Alex Manes and how smart he is when he's working and code breaking.
Hmm Alex has a house. Like an actual house. And not a single person in the fandom knew this. In fact if Carina hadn't clarified on Twitter, we'd all be confused as hell. Literally everyone thought he lived at the cabin and rightfully so. It also makes me question why Alex had been at the cabin the day Kyle was there if he doesn't live at the cabin. But anyways small details. I'm trying not to be petty. I also really would like to know how Michael knows where Alex lives hmmm
I absolutely loved that Alex's first thought was to give Michael a guitar bc he remembers what he lost when Jesse ruined his hand. I am HERE for Alex Manes' kindness and wholesomeness.
Alex has PTSD. He would never be sitting with his back towards an entry point and music blaring loudly while he didn't have his prosthetic on. Carina responded on Twitter saying his PTSD is from childhood and not the war. I can't really understand how the war and losing a limb would not affect him and his existing PTSD at all. But again, I'll overlook this inconsistency
Michael's little confrontation speech to Alex- totally get it. It makes a lot of sense from Michael's perspective. I do however still have an issue with this thing of Alex 'leaving'. The ONLY time Alex actively left was when he enlisted. Any time after that was beyond his control. He was in the military. He had no choice. I really wish we could at some point see how all of this affected Alex instead of constantly seeing it from a one- sided Michael perspective.
And now Maria and Michael. Just a few words. What the fuck. I say all of this as someone who absolutely believes Malex shouldn't be together right now and who is fully on board with them just being friends right now:
- As someone who loved Maria in the first season and as a woman of colour, I fucking hate her storyline and what they're making her character do. It was cringe and desperate and humiliating for her to be running after Michael after one kiss. And also, SO out of character for her. Maria Deluca is her own saviour and would never run after someone who behaved the way Michael had in that ep. She would abso-fucking-lutely not chase after a man and put herself out there in such a desperate way like that.
- Secondly, has she just forgotten Alex exists? This is so not the Maria we know. Chasing after a man for something when he's not giving anything back in return and not even bothering to speak to Alex or attempt any sort of communication with him before she continues pursuing Michael. It makes no sense. I only see the Maria hate escalating at this point and I don't blame anyone for it. At this point she 100% deserves it. It's so so out of character for her not to have spoken to Alex and to continue pursuing Michael before speaking to Alex.
Honestly I've said it since the start- I hate love triangles and this one in particular rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons. I honestly don't see how we can redeem Maria's character after this mess. The whole Michael and Maria thing is just messy (and not in a cool dramatic TV show way), and is for a lot of us straight up character assassination for both Michael and Maria. I'm just so put off by both of their characters. If they were adamant about this storyline, I wish they'd done it and left Alex out from the start (I said Kylex rights!).
In conclusion, it's a shitshow. The show is just all over the place and the writing doesn't seem to have improved from the inconsistencies and plot holes. There's a lot more I could say but this was all I thought about right now for that episode. I also have so many thoughts on what Carina has recently said but I'm not in the right space of mind to address that rn. She's hell problematic lmao. But anyways, going forward, I'm just here for my Tyler Blackburn and watching him kill it as Alex Manes and I'm kinda really excited to see him with his new love interest.
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0range--elephants · 4 years
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I don't usually do text posts lol... , but..
So I've been unemployed for like a month now, and struggling with getting a job. I have a unique position where I have two types of "disability" right now, and it's making this process so difficult.
One is that my wrists are completely fucked from years in food service (it's a repetitive strain injury, and causes pain & what could be potential nerve damage in my hands and wrists that spreads to my arms) and I can't even open doors or jars sometimes, let alone work even as a cashier or at a computer all day.
The second is my complex post-traumatic stress disorder, which has been gradually worsening the past two years. CPTSD is worse than ptsd and I basically like living in hell. I can get such bad paranoia I believe I am being watched and followed and I will lock doors and get up to check them, and stay awake for days because I believe I will be attacked in my sleep. Other symptoms include shaking, nausea, extreme mood disruptions, depression, anxiety. I also dissociate alot: I can't focus and I can't place who I am and what I'm doing. I cannot get my license because I dissociate so badly when driving that it is dangerous. Sometimes I have dissociated and become terrified of my partner and had to have him explain who he is to me and how I know him.
So, living with these conditions is difficult. I am starting to realize I have a disability, and it is never going to be easy or normal. I have no idea how to move forward, especially now that I know I can't have the career I wanted or even anything close to it. I can't drive, I can't work full-time, let alone get a job that pays the bills in full. I don't know how to even go forward and get disability help or benefits from my government because there is no clear path for that when it is a mental condition. There's even a program here for veterans with PTSD, but nothing for regular people who develop CPTSD from their life, which is objectively SO much worse and has been identified and studied since 1997.
I'm sorry, I just had to vent. Fuck everyone for their assumptions and selfish attitudes. And fuck this system for putting people who are at risk and who have metal retardation in positions where they have to fend for themselves or figure out how to make the system work for them, and deal with speculation and judgment on the way.
My partner has no idea what to do, I have no idea what to do, and my doctor gives zero fucks and has zero clue. I had to explain to him the concept of my condition is and even what dissociation is. He suggested I have ADHD and said nothing else about it. I'm so tired.
Tldr; I've been diagnosed with CPTSD for over a year and my new doctor doesn't believe me or doesn't care (probably definitely both), and I don't know how to apply for jobs with a disability that has no easy explanation or adaptations in a work environment. No, honestly, tldr right now I'm fucked.
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fstranslations · 7 years
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Kozuka Takahiko: “Returning the favour to figure skating”
Source. Thank you to Tadaki on Skate & Die for the translation! Please do not repost.
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“Returning the favour to Figure Skating” – Kozuka Takahiko talks about his determination to embark on a new path.
Caption: Kozuka, who is about to set out on a new journey as his second career. His thoughts towards figure skating, even now, burn stronger than ever.
Last spring 10 months ago, with the words “(I will) depart the ice”, (Kozuka) put an end to his competitive career and joined the Toyota Car Company. The words made a powerful impression. (t/n: The word choice ‘depart’ is both formal and solemn – you would use this word to indicate those who have passed on – hence conveying the gravity of his decision. Forgive the awkward phrasing in English)
“From here on, I have been thinking that I want to repay the figure skating world by passing on the things that I can with the skills that I have.”
He’s returned. He’s come back (t/n: has the nuance of coming home). Unconsciously, those words cross one’s mind.
“Well no, as opposed to ‘returning’, maybe another word might be more suitable.”
With that reply, Kozuka Takahiko began to detail the days after he joined the company and how he came to his decision (to return to figure skating).
–– “Learning my job well as an individual member of society…”
“If I said (leaving skating) was in order to increase my skills for the future I might be scolded but as an individual member of society (t/n: ie. someone who can contribute to the society like a graduate/worker as opposed to a student/unemployed person), I think that I would be able to delve even further into my career (outside of skating) by learning my job well and working in the company.”
“From the point of view of the people who have been supporting me up till now, there may be those who think that even after I retire I will still skate in ice shows. Thinking that I must make it clear that I have no intention to skate again hereafter, I have expressed myself with the words ‘(I will) depart the ice’. The Kozuka Takahiko who skates on ice will come to an end on the 17th of April (date of 2016 Stars on Ice).”
“Precisely because I am going to appear (in a show) I must put up a good performance. In order to do that, one needs to practice every day. The daily practice that is required to maintain the skill at a level that is presentable to the audience – if you ask me if it is possible to do that as a salaryman, I think it is difficult. Rather than to show everyone a half-hearted state of self, I think it’s best if I could leave behind the memory of a good Kozuka Takahiko in everyone’s minds.”
The above were the words from the interview (Number900) he gave after his retirement announcement. In order to realise those words, Kozuka threw himself into his work in the company.
–– “Whilst participating in the ‘Returning the Favour activities” of the various Toyota sports clubs.”
The work he was assigned to was related to sports.
“Toyota has over 30 clubs but they are broadly separated into Promotional Sports Clubs and Normal Sports Clubs. I was participating in the ‘Returning the Favour’ activities of the Promotional Sports Clubs.
Dispatching players, in that case, to what kind of events and how should we do it – that’s what the majority of my work consisted of. Things like being the ticket-collector at the venue, doing seat allocation. I had thought it would be a lot of desk work but it was a division (of the company) with many work trips.”
The things he acquired through his work were not small.
“They are very basic things but, sending emails, making phone calls, creating plans and doing up the documents and from there getting the final approval. I think it is good that I was able to learn that kind of flow (of projects) in the company.”
Through event planning he came to know of many competitions and was able to interact with many competitors which served as a stimulus for him.
–– “Figure Skating became the main topic”
Despite doing work that was supposed to be fulfilling, he would unknowingly get lost in his thoughts.
“If you took this part and combined it, figure skating would become even better.”
“If it was figure skating, then we’d do it this way…”
His train of thought always seemed to turn towards figure skating.
“I didn’t do things with that intention (to link everything to skating) in mind, but figure skating became the main topic.”
For example, at an October event held in Tokushima by the Rugby club to promote the sport, Kozuka’s heart was struck by this:
“Seeing the happy faces of children having fun and how the people teaching seemed to be enjoying themselves, I began to think that it would be good if we did this in figure skating too.”
Those feelings reached a peak at the end of November when he went to Vietnam. As part of a cultural exchange event “Japan-Vietnam Festival” a Skating camp was held at Vincom Mega Mall in Ho Chi Minh city and Kozuka participated in it.
–– The role of “Passing on to the next generation the things I was brought up with”.
“What I realized was that when I was a skater, I was supported by many people. Up to this point I had known this but that was limited to only the people I could see in front of me. But I learnt that even if they weren’t at the venue, for example if I said ‘I want to do this’, word would travel from the venue and even though they weren’t physically present there were people acting (on those requests). It hit me then that when I was skating, I had received help from a lot of people too.
And yet, to have put an end to figure skating – I felt it was a waste. So much had been taught to me growing up (as a skater) and to pass that on to the next generation and convey it to a lot of people – I thought that to me it was an important role (to take up).”
And so he thought of what he himself could pass on and finally reached a conclusion – he wanted to teach the techniques of skating.
–– (He) did not realize - “Both Nobuo-sensei and my father were too close to me”.
There was once a coach who pointed out that “Japan’s skating techniques were handed down from Sato Nobuo-sensei to Kozuka’s father (t/n: Kozuka Tsuguhiko, who represented Japan at the 1968 Olympics) to Kozuka”. Kozuka himself did not hold such a viewpoint then.
“It was during a time when I was foolish but both Nobuo-sensei and my father were too close to me. In a good way, they were both an existence that was like air to me, and because of that I didn’t feel (that they were too close). But when you think about it, even in sports like golf and baseball, just like how in the beginning when you bat or you pitch, you can become entrenched in your bad habits, the foundation in skating too is important. And yet there is a lack of coaches teaching skating (skills, basic skating).
What Nobuo-sensei can teach, within his ability to do so personally, is good but one has to think about the fact that his physical strength is declining and that my father too is an old grandfather. I thought that maybe my mission is to convey, as much as I can, the things that were taught to me. It is precisely because these are the techniques taught to me by so small a number of coaches that I feel it must be passed on to the children.”
What gave him the most support of all were the voices of those around him.
If he went to the rink, the children would call out to him.
“If you’re not going to be a skater then come teach us!”
“How do we contact you?”
“When you’re free, teach us ok?”
–– Whilst employed in the company, he dived into outreach programmes.
It was the same when he was out of the office and in the field.
“During the JGP at Shin Yokohama, the event at Tokushima and the Japan Nationals that happened the other day – ‘I cheered a lot for you’, ‘I loved your skating’, ‘Will you not skate again?’ – A lot of people spoke out to me. When I answered ‘I do skate once in awhile’, I’d get replies like ‘Not like that, will you not show yourself a little and skate publicly?’
At the event in Tokushima there were even people who had rushed over from far away. I wondered if I managed to charm them more than I thought I could, or if I was able to come across as someone who was approachable. I think that was the biggest thing (I learnt/realized).”
With that determination in his heart his meetings with the company increased. The result was that they reached an understanding, and it became possible for him to begin his desired activities whilst holding his position in the company.
What activities will you concentrate on from now on?
First off, (spreading the knowledge through) outreach programs.
“I want to do it regardless, whether internationally or within the country. Not just a simple skating camp/class, I want to share my experiences with how frightening injuries can be, the importance of cooling down on top of doing sports – if I can hold a skating class that incorporates all that it would be good. I want to continue holding classes in Vietnam too. The last time it was only in Ho Chi Minh City, but it’d be good if I could hold them in Hanoi or other such places.
Additionally, starting with Vietnam followed by other southeast Asian countries, I think there are many skaters who are unable to compete in large competitions because they have no federations so one of my goals is to set up these federations. I feel proud when I compete for Japan. I want to change the situation where people who want to compete have to leave the country they were born and raised in. Growing up in your home country and competing in your home country – if I can nurture a skater like that it would be nice.”
–– “The first step is to start moving my body, and while training properly...”
Have you thought of coaching students who appear at high level competitions?
“If the need arises, I think I could. But that needs experience too and Nobuo-sensei has said that things can go wrong even if you’re doing many things one at a time so right now I would like to focus on outreach programmes.”
What about Kozuka yourself, as a skater, is there a chance you would appear at, for example, an ice show?
“First I want to start moving my body and return to my previous state (level of fitness) through training properly. If I receive any offers, then I want to perform well as a proper cast member.”
All those words carried the meaning that he would return to the ice.
–– “To participate in Figure Skating in a new version of myself”
Kozuka continued:
“More than just returning to the world of Figure Skating, in my own way I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people and I’ve realized many different things. It’s not just returning, I am consciously participating in figure skating in a new version of myself.”
And with that he laughed shyly.
“It’s been a short time (away) but I was able to experience many things. My superiors pulled me along when I couldn’t do things saying ‘Kozuka, keep going!’ Although I announced my desire to depart the ice in order to do my job properly, I hope that you will let me off lightly.”
By stepping away, there were things he realized, things he became able to realize.
When he was a skater, being supported by many more people that just those he could see.
The skills that he cultivated during his skating career that no one else has. Being a skater that still remains in people’s hearts.
More than anything, having devoted the better half of his life to it – figure skating, and the memories of it that would not fade.
With the experiences he gained from a different world, Kozuka Takahiko, who has made a decision to return the favour towards figure skating, is now making a fresh start.
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the-fabcrab · 7 years
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I AM NOT DEAD
A big sorry to my dear followers for being silent after all my rants and stuff hahah.
I am alive and well, just kinda always busy with something or simply just boring myself to death, since I am not really that often on the laptop (I use it only when I have to work, the laptop is pretty tiny without a battery and I’m lazy to always plug/unplug)
Nevertheless all the goodie news are under!
SO, I came back to Budapest around what, month and a half ago? Getting back was a bit tedious, I have no idea whether I wrote it or not before, but I had to take a bus that goes all around Croatia, since there isn’t a single bus from the whole eastern part that goes to Hungary at a good time besides at 11pm when there’s no buses to BP anymore. Anyways, instead of the 4 hours driving i had to sit in the bus for 10 hours. 10 hours people. Change the bus after 5 hours then sit for another five. I lost one whole day just by growing roots in the bus, but I managed to come. And at least the price was really cheap so it’s something. Nevertheless, NEVER AGAIN. And no, I didn’t have anybody to drive me since the car was at the mechanic and I really didn’t want to wait for any time longer.
We gave away the little pup just a couple of days when I left. The pup grew so big and strong just after a month and a half. I am sure it will be much better with her new owner rather than suffering in a tiny flat with the animal kingdom. Plus the owner is currently unemployed so she can train the pup properly. Plus it is my bro’s friend so we can keep and eye and still trust to some extent.
And guess who is STILL unemployed? Me of course! But I’ve been to a couple of interviews this past month. I botched one entirely because I was so nervous, like they can see that you’re here just for money and to work and not to make a career there. How can you prosper from a boring back office work anyways? They haven’t shown any clear path to achievements or prospering, so...
Other one was for a very large firm for market research. It sounded very very interesting and I was really interested in it! It would/will be very tedious work since a lot of studying would await me but I am truly ready to learn anything just to start living. My problem is that I cannot sound convincing enough. Sometimes I have a feeling as if all interviewers are too strict and less relaxed than me. Of course I try my best to stay professional yet relaxed but it is rather hard when you are being judged upon. I can usually see from people’s eyes whether I passed or not, despite some tests I was given. 
But do you people know what really grinds my gears? Why do I have to wait for a response after 2 months (after a first 45 min interview with a human resource firm), then go for another 1 hour and 20 minute test/interview to be told that there will be ANOTHER very long interview? It’s really really annoying. SO many phone interviews and then milking everything from you and surprising you with things that oppose the information you’ve gotten from the first talk.
(like, I was told that it was ok if I don’t have an education background in a certain topic or any experience and that i will be provided a training, and in the end I was asked so many questions about the topic (which i researched and prepared like crazy for a week, right when i got the notice about the interview) which is kinda evil i think)
But good thing is I got an offer by one of the HR peeps from another firm to send my application for a vacancy that i am looking forward to a bit more. I could work in my own language and the pay is much better, aaaand I get to work with a much smaller group which I like, it’s easier. Just I hope I get a chance to be invited for a personal interview with this company if they like the application, my resume really suits for this, again administration and contacting people, but this is my field which I do love and enjoy. Before I was SO scared going to interviews but now I am much more relaxed.
And yet again, I have to play the waiting game once more. Time is ticking and I’m still unemployed and slowly i don’t know what to do. Many people told me to start designing and drawing for money but derp, I have no ideas how to start. Some tell me to go take some courses, which i would like, but they are either super expensive or there are no in English here, only Hungarian. Which I still suck balls, I can’t even order food in Hungarian what a wuss I can be.
Gotta upload some of my sketchdump soon. Gotta share my trash.
As my friend told me, it’s trash CAN, not trash Cannot.
Cheers people.
1 note · View note
haelieana · 3 years
Text
TL : Leah
PR : Yeonie
Chapter 3
For a moment, I was startled because I thought my thoughts came out as a cry. Fortunately, I was not the speaker. The friendly ceremony quickly became cold, but I was grateful.
I turned my head to express my gratitude.
"Huh?"
'Why you?'
The uncultured sound goes through accidents.
I open my mouth. Something ridiculous was happening again and again.
"Well, I'm against this marriage!"
Sophia, the original heroine, was claiming with a confident face that the marriage was invalid.
I quickly glanced at the Duke's face. His face was as still as the calm surface of the lake. But it was rather plain evidence that his anger was acute.
'He's very angry'
Blood vessels popped out over the back of his hand covered with white gloves, like before.
If my hands were in there, my bones would have crushed. It was an emotion with that much power.
Pretending to turn his head back, he gave a slight rebound and looked toward Sofia again. She was screaming, drawn to the knights who rushed to the emperor's beckons.
"Not this marriage, it cannot be established!"
I was astonished that she showed her personality in public. Sophia was a character who hid everything in her heart for revenge.
There was more to admire. It seemed that she had never done it once or twice with her arms held. Swing her arms without restriction of action, even looked very relaxed.
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
I was concentrating on Sofia, and the Duke was in tune. He apologized quietly again when I asked back because I didn't hear properly.
"No, it didn't happen because of you."
The Duke revealed that he was preparing for the wedding when he proposed to me. So he was able to finish the preparation a week after proposing. What was so urgent, the Duke continued to rush the users.
But it was too fast for me. The preparation time was so short, but it made no sense to have a safe wedding. Rather, it was more comfortable for an incident to occur that was not considered like this.
'I don't know why she's suddenly going on a rampage, but it's better.'
The absolute law of romance fiction.
Namjoo and Yeoju are very likely to have a bad first impression of each other. It is to find an unexpected appearance in the opponent who thought it was the worst and fall in love as if the dress would get wet in the drizzle.
Namjoo = Male lead
Yeoju = Female Lead
'This law will work no matter what'
Although I appeared like an uninvited guest and the original was a bit twisted, it won't change much. There's no extra in the world that changes the main plot.
It's a little too much, but it's never enough. I won't be able to forget this. If they run into each other a few times, they'll get attached to each other. Then when he wakes up, he thinks before he goes to bed, and when he opens his eyes, the Duke will only go after Sofia.
'The I'll be free'
As I am the duke's ex-wife, I can receive a lot of alimony. I will pack up money and wealth and go to a quiet place to buy a decent sized mansion. And enjoy the life of a relatively rich unemployed man for the rest of my life. I've just sorted out the situation, and I'm satisfied. The corners of my mouth went up because of the terrible situation.
'It's about turning a crisis into an opportunity.'
Looking here and there, the emperor's face was caught in sight. It was because the emperor was standing halfway between me and the Duke.
It was amazing to see the embarrassed face of the emperor, who had always been solemn and expressionless. However, it was only a matter of time, and seeing the emperor's expression in a matter of seconds, he knew that not everyone was doing it.
"A once-in-a-lifetime wedding is a mess. You look like you're in a good mood."
I didn't even see it openly, but the emperor threw it in a playful tone as if it caught my eye.
"What? Yes! Oh, no."
I didn't expect the emperor to talk to me. I was so surprised that I stuttered. I never talked to the Emperor but he was looking at me mischievously instead.
No, why are you interested in me, too?
Your girlfriend... I told you she will be taken away. Don't regret it later. You should be nice to Sofia.
As soon as he uttered it out of his lips, he grumbled at the profane remarks that would lead him to blasphemy. I thought that this would ease my mind by focusing on other places. Nevertheless, the Emperor's eyes did not fall, raising anxiety little by little.
"It's the day she's married to me, and it's natural that Luen feels good."
Then the Duke naturally intervened between the Emperor and me, and there was a mysterious pin.
It eliminates the prevailing. He also expressed confidence in himself and showed off his strong relationship between us.
'In just one sentence.'
The line was drawn to prevent the emperor from throwing up. His speech opened my mouth.
In the end, the dark Duke, yes, the Duke of Piar was a man who led the Duke family from an early age. If you don't go crazy and rebel against Sofia, you're smart and good.
"Madam."
He kept his mouth shut with a stiff look.
The emperor turned around and headed toward me, regardless.
"Yes, yes?!!"
Before I knew it, it became a form of facing him. The peacock's throat was sexy today. The sound coming through there was sweet.
"Now that the interrupter is gone, let's kiss the oath."
No, Sofia's not a distraction. She's the woman you're going to love. It was clear that he didn't understand my silent cry at all.
Wow, I felt a muscular arm winding around my waist. His face slowly got closer while I thought I didn't hate the hard touch.
"Tsk."
It was not my will to close my eyes while listening to the Emperor's tongue clicking. Something warm and soft swallowed me.
"Now, overcome adversity and applaud your loved ones!"
I can't believe Sofia's in trouble. Well, I guess I’m talking too much.
However, the idea did not follow.
The applause and cheers of the guests were also faint as if they were heard from a very far away place.
"Ah."
My attention was focused on.
It was only the Duke of Piar, who breathed softly and carefully, and greedily took mine away.
He wouldn't let me go until I stumbled out of my mind. Leaning for a long time in the peacock's wide arms.
The Duke did a great job of kissing.
*********
I straightened my shoulders and straightened my waist. The duke who grabbed me seemed to be hanging on his back like a heavy burden. If I didn't change my posture intentionally, what he said kept drooping and clinging to me.
"Luen, It's our first night, are you going to leave me alone?"
Seeing him depressed, I felt a sense of sadness in a corner of my heart. Still, I couldn't be alone with him in an enclosed space.
I already gave him my first kiss and it was dangerous to get any closer.
"Am I an abandoned husband? Luen, are you really leaving me behind?"
No. Let's think about something else.
Forget about his back, wide enough to roll back. Why does it keep ringing in front of my eyes?
Of course, Duke Piar's back was strong and wide, but he had to focus on the opponent he was going to meet. To me, he was like a savior to break all these nightmares.
"Are you here?"
Arriving in front of the guest room, the waiting maid opened the door.
"I'm going to talk to her alone, so please leave me alone.
The maid who was following me went inside.
One was sitting on a wide, colorful drawing room sofa. I slowly observed the opponent who hadn't found me yet.
'It's not like me because it's the real Yeoju.'
Sophia was still beautiful. Unlike my dull, common brown hair, I showed off my coveted hair. Now covered in maid makeup, but freckles were stuck in my cheeks. But Sophia showed off her smooth, fair skin.
As a princess of the country, she had a natural air.
She was far more suited to Duke Piar than to me. she was the only one who readily approached the heavy-burdened duke after losing his parents at an early age.
'Yes, the Duke and Sophia fall in love.'
However, now, I could see her huffing and suppressing her anger as if her feelings were still not resolved. I decided to wait until she calmed down.
While standing for a while, I rechecked what I had to say and her breath died down.
"Sophia."
She raised her head slowly. She seemed to be full of questions, not knowing why I came here.
*********
"Are you mad at me?"
Sofia was a little down in the mouth, unlike the spirit she showed earlier when she was ganging up on my wedding. She doesn't have to be so sorry. I felt sorry for her a little bit.
"No, I'm not offended."
"Thank God, Young-ae isn't angry. I don't care if I'm being punished, but I was afraid you'd be offended."
Although it was already destroyed, a former princess of the kingdom was naturally speaking up to me.
The smoothness melted her hardships of coming to this country and posing as a commoner. At first glance, I remembered a phrase that I remembered.
Every night for years, she changed her long story and vowed revenge.
Such will was not something that would come from ordinary people. In deference to Sofia, I also did not speak down to her, who is now a maid.
"Why did you oppose the marriage?"
"Young-Ae, can you not marry him? Don't do it."
What are you talking about?
I feel like the main characters keep falling out of their roles and changing genres, but it's just my imagination.
She quickly turned the circuit of hope and gently pointed out the truth.
"I've already done it....."
"Oh, right..."
I was discouraged by the silly conversation. Sophia smiled with a fierce face.
What should I do with you? So when do you want revenge?
I called the maid to serve more refreshments and raised myself.
She was thin with pain because it was not yet time to reach a conclusion. A few lines of text in the novel did not dare to guess what hardships a woman who would have grown up without a drop of water in her hand would have suffered in another country.
The consideration I could give was a short break and cookies.
'Don't worry. Anyway, You'll be happy soon. I'm rooting for you as a fan.'
Suddenly, the main character's words that interfered with my career path turned bitterly and grabbed my ankle.
"I keep having weird dreams."
She had the power to make other people listen to herself.
"A dream?"
In the original, Sophia was a precognitive dreamer. I didn't dream often, but her rate was pretty good. If someone else did, it would have been futile, but Sofia's dream was heavy.
"In my dream, Young-Ae keeps crying."
As if by what she said, I sat down across from Sophia.
1 note · View note
theliterateape · 4 years
Text
Hope Idiotic | Part 17
By David Himmel
Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.
DR. KHORASHI WAS DR. MILNER’S MALE DOPPELGANGER There were no dogs in his office, which was located in a medical building on Michigan Avenue, but it was still a little bit of a granola-new-age mash-up. There was a macramé plant holder hanging from the drop ceiling in his waiting room.
Lou liked Dr. Khorashi. He liked Dr. Milner, too but unlike Milner, this guy laughed at his jokes.
“So, you get dizzy. You’re stressed. A little depressed. Anxious, wound up? Short temper?” Dr. Khorashi inquired.
“All of the above,” said Lou. Lou gave him news-in-brief version of his misery.
“How’s your appetite?”
“Don’t have one.”
“You sleeping?”
“Hardly.”
“How about your sex drive?”
“Normal.”
“Taking any drugs? Abusing alcohol?”
“Allegra-D for my allergies. Lots of scotch for all the other shit.”
“Do you smoke?”
“I’ve been sneaking cigarettes, but I wouldn’t call myself a smoker. Well, I smoke a pipe. I mean I used to smoke a pipe. Girlfriend won’t let me smoke it in the apartment. Too much of a hassle to go outside and enjoy one.”
“A tobacco pipe.”
“Yeah. I like the smell of it. Smells like my grandparents’ house.”
“But you’re smoking cigarettes now.”
“Maybe a pack every month. Just when I’m tired of looking up grad schools and reading rejection letters from would-be employers. Something to do with my hands other than kill myself. You know, immediately, I mean.”
“Have you thought about killing yourself?”
Lou realized that his joke wasn’t a joke at all. Not in a shrink’s office. “No, no. I’m sorry. I was being funny. Really, I’ve never thought about it. I mean, not any more than anyone else has ever thought about it. Just like, when you hear about someone doing it, you wonder about what the last thing to go through their mind was. And not the bullet, like if the person shot himself or anything. No. I’m not suicidal.”
“I don’t think you are. It’s okay to think about it. It’s a part of death and the human condition. You’re being honest. That’s good.”
“I don’t think I could do it. I’d rather be around to see the naysayer’s faces when shit got better, you know?”
“I do. Lou, I’m going to prescribe you Remeron. It’s an anti-depressant that can be used to treat minor anxiety. It should help with your appetite and your sleep. You may experience increased dizziness. Let me know if it gets too bad. And always hang on to a railing.”
“Making jokes.”
“Let’s meet in two weeks and see how you’re feeling. It should take about a week to stabilize in your system, and I’d like you to have a week with it doing its job to see how you really react to it. Sound okay?”
It sounded fine. Dr. Khorashi wrote the script, and Lou filled it at the Walgreens on the ground floor of the building.
Medication and psychotherapy, he thought. I’m a fucking headcase.
THREE WEEKS LATER, Lou was sleeping and eating better. The dizziness was the same, but generally everything else seemed easier. Still no job, but he had an easier time writing cover letters. Also, his morning scotch benders had stopped.
He looked forward to his therapy sessions. They made him feel like he had control over his life again. Matters were in his hands and those of trained medical professionals. Khorashi was on Mondays at 3:00 p.m., Milner’s appointments were still Wednesday nights with an additional 9:00 p.m. slot for Thursdays, too. He figured the more therapy the better. Nip that anxiety shit in the bud, get off those meds and get back to good.
“You don’t think you’re overdoing it?” Michelle asked one night as they were crawling into bed. “Three times a week? Two doctors? Medications? Are you crazy?”
“According to my doctors, no, I’m not.”
“So what’s wrong with you?”
“Acute anxiety and depression due to circumstantial conditions.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means that there’s a lot of shit going on that is impacting me negatively and I’m finding the best way to not let the stress of it add to the negativity.”
“You haven’t told anyone you’re seeing two shrinks, have you?”
“Chuck. Neil. My dad.”
“But none of our friends?”
“No. Why?”
“Nothing.”
“Why?”
“Well, I’m glad you feel like you’re getting the help you need, but it’s sort of a sign of weakness.”
“I’m sorry? This was your idea.”
“I know. I’m just wondering why you either can’t handle things on your own or why you can’t come to me with what’s troubling you.”
“I am handling things on my own. This is how. I’m using the professionals. And I can’t go to you with this kind of stuff. It’s not in your wheelhouse.”
“You’re my boyfriend. We’re supposed to get married. Your life and emotions are absolutely in my wheelhouse.”
“You don’t know what it’s like to be in my position. You can’t begin to relate to it. I’ve tried explaining it to you, but you don’t get it. For me, my career, my conditions out here, it’s not like yours. And you can’t empathize.”
“Are you kidding me? When I moved out here, I had nothing. My parents were furious with me and told me that they wouldn’t pay for anything. Not even a pencil. I had student loans and no friends and was terrified. I’d wake up in the middle of the night hyperventilating from stress. That happened for the first two years of law school. Don’t tell me that I don’t know what it’s like to struggle.”
“Michelle, your parents were pissed at you for a weekend. You were essentially hired with a career all laid out for you after two years and making a six-figure salary. Big loans? Yeah, that’s why you’re making what you’re making now. And that’s why it’s called compensation. You were stressed during law school? Everyone is stressed during law school. That gave you a support group. You had contemporaries who were all going through the shit with you. You all had each other. A miserably, wealthy band of barristers. I moved here after leaving my own kind of promising career to give it a go with you and with this city.”
“I told you not to move here just for me.”
“I didn’t, but we both know that you were a leading factor in the decision, come on. But listen, my move set me back a few years. I’ve never been this unemployed or unemployable. I’ve never experienced a recession like this. And I’m the only person I know who is going through this. I’m almost thirty years old, and I’m nowhere near where I used to be or want to be in my career. My contemporaries are employed and wealthy, something you regularly remind me of all too often. It’s not the same thing. Not at all.
“Your career has a clear path. College, law school, job, partnership, riches, retirement. I don’t have that. I don’t get to just graduate from school, get a job as a junior copywriter on the Nike and McDonald’s and Pepsi accounts and in seven years be eligible to become a partner in the firm. There is no predetermined path for a creative to follow. There is no six-figure salary by the age of twenty-four. Even a junior copywriter at Leo Burnett doesn’t make much more than maybe forty grand. And that’s if he hasn’t been canned during this recession. Plus! Plus, I’m a man. A white man. I’m the last thing any company is going to want to hire when the freezes thaw out. We’re finally getting our comeuppance. You’re a woman. You’re safe. Have you read anything about the layoffs? It’s the men that are getting the boot. Yeah, maybe because they pay women less, but I’d rather make less than nothing.”
Michelle lay in the bed with her head on the pillow facing Lou. She yawned. “Okay,” she said. Then she turned over and fell asleep.
Lou’s Remerol kicked in, and he fell asleep, too.
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16
0 notes
erraticfairy · 5 years
Text
How to Build Confidence & Self-Esteem After a Job Loss
Deal with your job loss and bounce back better than ever.
In the midst of unemployment, it’s easy to lose hope and wallow in your low self-esteem, but you can learn how to build confidence again and take back your life.
Losing or getting fired from your job can seem like the end of the world. You might feel disbelief, anger, sadness, uncertainty, fear, and even panic — and these are all normal emotions given the circumstances.
Being unemployed can feel very personal in the beginning.
“Why me? Why now?” you ask.
Companies decide to make structural or personnel changes for many reasons. And while it doesn’t make it right or pleasant, the truth is the reason for your termination doesn’t ultimately matter.
What counts is learning how to deal with this unexpected life change, so you can mentally prepare for re-entering the job market. And there’s no harm in hoping for the best, either.
It’s easy to get stuck in pity and feel discouraged when your self-esteem has taken a hit and your wallet is empty, but there is a reason for optimism.
There are lessons to be learned from this job loss experience and by slowly building confidence, you will have better success moving on when you adopt a positive mindset.
Here are 10 ways to build your confidence and self-esteem so you can have hope again in the face of unemployment.
1. Give Yourself Time to Mourn.
A loss is a loss. Losing your job can cause you to doubt your abilities and put you on shaky ground for the next opportunity. You might even feel paralyzed.
On the other end of the spectrum, I sometimes see clients jump into job search mode right when they’re not ready — they haven’t dealt with their loss. I don’t suggest taking off too much time, but a few days or weeks to decompress is healthy and wise.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up for you. Recognize that you won’t feel these things forever and you are not alone. If you take some time to grieve the loss of your job, your future in that organization, and your colleagues, you’ll be on the path to healing.
Skip this step and you’ll risk holding onto resentment.
Hold onto the positive experiences you had. In time, the negative ones become a distant memory. Most of all, give yourself some compassion.
How to Help Your Spouse When They Lose Their Job
2. Communicate With Your Loved Ones.
Share your job loss news with those closest to you. I’ve heard stories of newly terminated employees dressing up, leaving the house every day and pretending they are going to work because they can’t face telling their family.
There is no shame in job loss.
Your loved ones might have their reaction to your job loss and it’s normal for them to have insecurities around it. In a time of feeling loss of control, what you can control is what and how you tell your family.
Let them know that you’re getting support — perhaps in the form of severance, benefits continuance, and outplacement services — and that you can work through this challenging time together. Your job loss may end up being a bonding opportunity for your relationship.
Resist the urge to shelter your kids, also. Teach them about bouncing back and solving problems.
Gradually widen your circle over the coming weeks. You’ll be bound to find others who have experienced similar circumstances, and you’ll realize you’re not alone.
People have a natural inclination to help, too, so when you’re ready, take them up on their offers.
3. Ask for Help.
Consult a lawyer to ensure your severance terms are fair and reasonable, given all the circumstances. Make sure you investigate your health and benefits coverage, also, and make a note of important dates to get in your claims or convert to a private plan.
If your severance package didn’t include outplacement services, consider hiring a career coach to jump start your job search process or asking a mentor for assistance.
An accountability partner can work with you to uncover your strengths, open up new possibilities for your career, keep you on track with your goals, and help you to shift your mindset.
4. Create a Budget.
Concerning your financials, it’s best to take a balanced approach. Don’t go overboard with spending, trying to prove that you’re going to be all right and don’t catastrophize about your financial situation.
Give yourself a spending budget and get creative to make your dollars go farther.
5. Make Time for Self-Care.
Take this time to do things for yourself that you might not normally do. Read a book, indulge in a nap, get a massage or acupuncture treatment. It’s also essential to eat well and take some extra supplements to boost your ability to manage your stress.
Go to the doctor for your overdue physical and attend to your mental health, too. Let your doctor know if you’re having trouble adjusting and it’s interfering with your ability to function.
6. Put a Daily Routine in Place.
Resist any urge to stay in bed all day. Get up at your regular time and create a routine for yourself. Block off time to relax, eat and sleep on a consistent schedule, and go to the gym as usual.
Make sure that you also dedicate time each day for your career transition efforts, which might include reflecting on your strengths and ideal job, and marketing yourself. Consistency is key.
7. Reflect and Focus.
Take the next few weeks to come up with a game plan instead of sending out 100 resumes. Putting in a quality application takes a lot of time and effort. Make sure you’re applying to the right roles in the right organizations, or you’ll get disappointing results.
Success often means digging deep, connecting to your inner wisdom, looking back at your life’s lessons, and projecting forward. Focus on what you love, what’s important to you, and what you can contribute and then create a crystal-clear vision of your future work.
When you do this, you will be in an excellent position to market yourself and your resume.
8. Get Some Perspective.
It may seem like forced time off to lose your job, but you can use this time to take a step back and look at your circumstances with fresh eyes. Get into nature, go near a body of water, or climb up a hill or mountain – a little height can give you a view from a new angle.
Often it helps to speak with someone objective about your situation and realize that your situation is not as bad as you think. You have something unique to offer an employer and the world.
9. Find Joy.
Use this time off to consciously look for happiness in simple pleasures. Reconnect with hobbies like gardening or sports, or reinvigorate your life with music — in fact, singing is scientifically proven to lift your spirits.
Most of all, be mindful of all the beauty that is around you. Inject joy into every day.
How to Cope If You’re Constantly Worried You Might Lose Your Job
10. Be Positive.
You have a lot to bring to a new job, and you’ll find that this period is just a blip in your overall career.
If you’re having trouble believing this just now, write out some affirmations and keep saying them until you are confident they are true:
I have amazing talents to offer an organization.
I trust myself, and I trust in the universe.
I am energized to find my next job.
I believe in myself and my ability to do my ideal work.
Here’s the glimmer of hope in your job loss: you’re free!
You’re available to reflect on what you want and take your career to new heights.
If you do these 10 things, you’ll be in a healthier state of mind and ready to land a better-suited job.
So, don’t look back. A bright future is on the horizon.
This guest article was originally published on YourTango.com: 10 Ways To Find Hope And Confidence When You’ve Just Lost Your Job.
from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2A4ONqu via theshiningmind.com
0 notes
How to Build Confidence & Self-Esteem After a Job Loss
Deal with your job loss and bounce back better than ever.
In the midst of unemployment, it’s easy to lose hope and wallow in your low self-esteem, but you can learn how to build confidence again and take back your life.
Losing or getting fired from your job can seem like the end of the world. You might feel disbelief, anger, sadness, uncertainty, fear, and even panic — and these are all normal emotions given the circumstances.
Being unemployed can feel very personal in the beginning.
“Why me? Why now?” you ask.
Companies decide to make structural or personnel changes for many reasons. And while it doesn’t make it right or pleasant, the truth is the reason for your termination doesn’t ultimately matter.
What counts is learning how to deal with this unexpected life change, so you can mentally prepare for re-entering the job market. And there’s no harm in hoping for the best, either.
It’s easy to get stuck in pity and feel discouraged when your self-esteem has taken a hit and your wallet is empty, but there is a reason for optimism.
There are lessons to be learned from this job loss experience and by slowly building confidence, you will have better success moving on when you adopt a positive mindset.
Here are 10 ways to build your confidence and self-esteem so you can have hope again in the face of unemployment.
1. Give Yourself Time to Mourn.
A loss is a loss. Losing your job can cause you to doubt your abilities and put you on shaky ground for the next opportunity. You might even feel paralyzed.
On the other end of the spectrum, I sometimes see clients jump into job search mode right when they’re not ready — they haven’t dealt with their loss. I don’t suggest taking off too much time, but a few days or weeks to decompress is healthy and wise.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up for you. Recognize that you won’t feel these things forever and you are not alone. If you take some time to grieve the loss of your job, your future in that organization, and your colleagues, you’ll be on the path to healing.
Skip this step and you’ll risk holding onto resentment.
Hold onto the positive experiences you had. In time, the negative ones become a distant memory. Most of all, give yourself some compassion.
How to Help Your Spouse When They Lose Their Job
2. Communicate With Your Loved Ones.
Share your job loss news with those closest to you. I’ve heard stories of newly terminated employees dressing up, leaving the house every day and pretending they are going to work because they can’t face telling their family.
There is no shame in job loss.
Your loved ones might have their reaction to your job loss and it’s normal for them to have insecurities around it. In a time of feeling loss of control, what you can control is what and how you tell your family.
Let them know that you’re getting support — perhaps in the form of severance, benefits continuance, and outplacement services — and that you can work through this challenging time together. Your job loss may end up being a bonding opportunity for your relationship.
Resist the urge to shelter your kids, also. Teach them about bouncing back and solving problems.
Gradually widen your circle over the coming weeks. You’ll be bound to find others who have experienced similar circumstances, and you’ll realize you’re not alone.
People have a natural inclination to help, too, so when you’re ready, take them up on their offers.
3. Ask for Help.
Consult a lawyer to ensure your severance terms are fair and reasonable, given all the circumstances. Make sure you investigate your health and benefits coverage, also, and make a note of important dates to get in your claims or convert to a private plan.
If your severance package didn’t include outplacement services, consider hiring a career coach to jump start your job search process or asking a mentor for assistance.
An accountability partner can work with you to uncover your strengths, open up new possibilities for your career, keep you on track with your goals, and help you to shift your mindset.
4. Create a Budget.
Concerning your financials, it’s best to take a balanced approach. Don’t go overboard with spending, trying to prove that you’re going to be all right and don’t catastrophize about your financial situation.
Give yourself a spending budget and get creative to make your dollars go farther.
5. Make Time for Self-Care.
Take this time to do things for yourself that you might not normally do. Read a book, indulge in a nap, get a massage or acupuncture treatment. It’s also essential to eat well and take some extra supplements to boost your ability to manage your stress.
Go to the doctor for your overdue physical and attend to your mental health, too. Let your doctor know if you’re having trouble adjusting and it’s interfering with your ability to function.
6. Put a Daily Routine in Place.
Resist any urge to stay in bed all day. Get up at your regular time and create a routine for yourself. Block off time to relax, eat and sleep on a consistent schedule, and go to the gym as usual.
Make sure that you also dedicate time each day for your career transition efforts, which might include reflecting on your strengths and ideal job, and marketing yourself. Consistency is key.
7. Reflect and Focus.
Take the next few weeks to come up with a game plan instead of sending out 100 resumes. Putting in a quality application takes a lot of time and effort. Make sure you’re applying to the right roles in the right organizations, or you’ll get disappointing results.
Success often means digging deep, connecting to your inner wisdom, looking back at your life’s lessons, and projecting forward. Focus on what you love, what’s important to you, and what you can contribute and then create a crystal-clear vision of your future work.
When you do this, you will be in an excellent position to market yourself and your resume.
8. Get Some Perspective.
It may seem like forced time off to lose your job, but you can use this time to take a step back and look at your circumstances with fresh eyes. Get into nature, go near a body of water, or climb up a hill or mountain – a little height can give you a view from a new angle.
Often it helps to speak with someone objective about your situation and realize that your situation is not as bad as you think. You have something unique to offer an employer and the world.
9. Find Joy.
Use this time off to consciously look for happiness in simple pleasures. Reconnect with hobbies like gardening or sports, or reinvigorate your life with music — in fact, singing is scientifically proven to lift your spirits.
Most of all, be mindful of all the beauty that is around you. Inject joy into every day.
How to Cope If You’re Constantly Worried You Might Lose Your Job
10. Be Positive.
You have a lot to bring to a new job, and you’ll find that this period is just a blip in your overall career.
If you’re having trouble believing this just now, write out some affirmations and keep saying them until you are confident they are true:
I have amazing talents to offer an organization.
I trust myself, and I trust in the universe.
I am energized to find my next job.
I believe in myself and my ability to do my ideal work.
Here’s the glimmer of hope in your job loss: you’re free!
You’re available to reflect on what you want and take your career to new heights.
If you do these 10 things, you’ll be in a healthier state of mind and ready to land a better-suited job.
So, don’t look back. A bright future is on the horizon.
This guest article was originally published on YourTango.com: 10 Ways To Find Hope And Confidence When You’ve Just Lost Your Job.
from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2A4ONqu via IFTTT
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oysterchalk72-blog · 5 years
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The Linc - Kobe Bryant shared a funny anecdote about Nick Foles
Let’s get to the Philadelphia Eagles links ...
Four Downs: Everyone stays in their lane - BGN Earlier in the week I noted that the Eagles are, far and away, having the best offseason of the division. That guarantees nothing, but there’s little reason to believe that the Eagles aren’t the best team in the division. I sat on it for a couple of days because I figured a division rival would do something stupid. I should have waited a bit longer, because later that same day the Redskins signed Ereck Flowers. I am laughing as I type that. Not to some minimal signing bonus, non-guaranteed contract in a “hey this guy was a first rounder and we’ve got a pretty good position coach what’s the harm” type of deal. That would be defensible. No, they gave him a $3 million one year contract and guaranteed half of it. For a guy who couldn’t cut it on two 5-11 teams last year. They did sign another former first rounder to a no guaranteed money deal though: Marcus Smith. Yes, that Marcus Smith. If the Cowboys had a 1st round bust they’d probably have signed him too, though there’s still time to trade for Taco Charlton.
NFC East free agency grades: Eagles edition - PhillyVoice Part of the reason Michael Bennett was traded was because his personality clashed with some in the organization, I’m told, and apparently he graded out poorly against the run.
Josh Jacobs - Iggles Blitz Obviously you can’t say for sure what the Eagles should do since we don’t know who will be on the board. I like Jacobs quite a bit, but if a uniquely talented DT like Ed Oliver is somehow there, I’m taking Oliver without a doubt. Then again, we don’t even know if Jacobs will be on the board at 25. Daniel Jeremiah had him rated seventh in his latest Top 50 rankings. I don’t see Jacobs going before 25, but never say never. Teams down in the 20’s can do some crazy things at times. I do think the Eagles have to strongly consider Jacobs if he is on the board. Normally I’m not a big believer in taking RBs in the first round, but Jacobs is an interesting case. He is 220 pounds and a tough, physical runner. He’s also a gifted receiver.
Lawlor: How do Eagles stack up in new-look NFC East? - PE.com You can argue that the Giants were adding resources as they try to rebuild. OK, there is logic to that. Their roster needs help. There is one big problem, though. They kept 38-year-old Eli Manning around. He is not part of the future. The Giants think they are doing the right thing by keeping their veteran quarterback and two-time Super Bowl winner around. They think he can help young players develop while giving the team a chance to win games. It should be noted that in the last six years, the Giants and Manning have one winning season. The Giants also traded their best pass rusher, Olivier Vernon, and let their best defensive back, Landon Collins, walk in free agency. Again, the goal is to add talent, not lose it.
When the NFL Gives Away Draft Picks, You Better Take Them - Sharp Football It’s no surprise that two of the smartest teams over the last decade at understanding how to build winning rosters (Bill Belichick and Ozzie Newsome) are at the top of this list. It’s also no surprise that when you look back at the last 5 teams that have won a Super Bowl (New England, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle and Baltimore) that 4 of the 5 teams dominated the comp pick process. The lone team that did not (Philadelphia) didn’t receive comp picks from 2015-2018. (Note that Howie Roseman didn’t reassume control from Chip Kelly until 2016, and needed to take some time to settle the roster.) By letting 2018 free agents walk, they received 2 comp picks in the 2019 draft and by letting 2019 free agents walk, they are set up to receive the #1 most draft value from the 2020 comp picks. Now that the roster is more settled, Roseman clearly appears to be focused on exploiting this rule when possible.
Eagles Mailbag: Faith in Nate Sudfeld, Vinny Curry signing, spreading it around - NBCSP I got a few questions about Nate Sudfeld this week and I certainly understand why. He’s now the Eagles’ backup quarterback and Carson Wentz has finished the last two seasons on the shelf. I think there are legitimate reasons for concern. From the time the Eagles got Sudfeld, I thought he was a possible QB2. The problem here is that he is unproven; we haven’t seen much of him outside of summer practices and minimal game action. It’s somewhat of a gamble for a team with Super Bowl aspirations to go into a season with an unproven backup, especially because of Wentz’s injury history. But, to be clear, I like what I’ve seen from Sudfeld. He seems to be pretty athletic and has a big arm. The Eagles have shown how much they like him at every turn. This is one of those situations where I’m skeptical, but just kind of trust their evaluation.
The Bizarre Path of the NFL Draft’s Most Unlikely Sleeper - MMQB He got good enough to warrant interest college programs, but Liggins wasn’t interested in playing college football, instead looking into a military career. That summer he had a change of heart. Rather than reaching out to big-time programs he called the coach at NAIA Dickinson State, in Dickinson, North Dakota, one of the only schools that haddn’t harassed him for initially not wanting to play college football. He ended up becoming the school’s best defensive player. Now, the cornerback is a hidden NFL draft gem in the process of being unearthed. From a training facility in Mesquite, Texas, where he’s currently working out, he’s already talked to more than a dozen NFL teams, including the Jaguars, Broncos, Chiefs, Eagles, Bills, Saints, Ravens, Cardinals, Buccaneers and Browns, despite not attending a single all star or bowl game. The 6’ 2”, 205-pound Liggins was receiving some heavy interest from one NFC West team, so much so that the team sent him their playbook so he could get acclimated to it.
In injury-shortened pro day, Delaware safety Nasir Adderley impresses in front of Eagles personnel - PennLive Adderley jumped 38 inches in the vertical leap, posted 19 reps in the bench press and covered 10 feet, 9 inches in the broad jump. He pulled his hamstring during the 40-yard dash, but Delaware said he ran 4.54 seconds. He also checked in at a shade under 6 feet tall and 203 pounds. Eagles safeties coach Tim Hauck was among the representatives from Adderley’s hometown team at Delaware’s athletic facilities Friday. There were scouts and coaches from many other teams, too, like Detroit Lions defensive backs coach Brian Stewart and Oakland Raiders scout Raleigh McKenzie.
Former Eagles TE Clay Harbor eyeing NFL comeback | ‘I still have a passion for the game’ - NJ.com At this point last year, Harbor was a contestant on “The Bachelorette”. He was coming off a lost season with the New Orleans Saints, as he spent the entire campaign on injured reserve with a wrist injury. Ironically, Harbor re-injured his left wrist while playing football during the taping of the reality show. He tore a ligament in the wrist, forcing him to rehab the injury as NFL teams entered their offseason programs. Despite his ailment, Harbor received interest from a few teams prior to training camp. His first visit was with the Buffalo Bills. Harbor suffered a minor abdominal injury during the workout in Buffalo, so the Bills passed on signing him. Due to the new injury, Harbor was unable to work out elsewhere and spent the rest of the season unemployed.
Right or wrong Giants GM Dave Gettleman is doing what should have been expected - Big Blue View Angry. Confused. Disappointed. Anguished. Frustrated. Resigned. Bitter. Disillusioned. Whatever word or words you want to use to describe them, I have been thinking a lot about the emotional state of many New York Giants fans recently, especially in the wake of the organization’s decision to send Odell Beckham Jr. to the Cleveland Browns. Many in the media haven’t helped, with their poison pens turned menacingly in the direction of Dave Gettleman, who some might think of as the crazy old man in charge of making personnel decisions for the Giants.
Cowboys free agency: George Iloka set to sign with Dallas Cowboys - Blogging The Boys Safety was one of the biggest needs that Dallas was facing when the offseason began. Bringing in Iloka hardly prohibits them from still drafting one, or even signing another in free agency, but it does lessen the need to a degree. This is a great move to give the Cowboys options at places where they need them.
The statistical argument for trading down in the draft - Hogs Haven In the first two rounds, trade back: The general rule of thumb from this analysis is that teams with first round or early second-round picks should be happy to trade down in the draft if the terms of the trade reflect the NFL Trade Value Chart, and that teams holding picks in the middle rounds (3 - 6) should be hesitant about trading them away to move into the top-50 if the terms of the trade are based on the Chart.
Nick Foles gets more than $45 million fully guaranteed at signing - PFT Without per-game roster bonuses, the deal has a base value of $85 million over four years ($21.25 million per year). If he’s on the 46-man roster for all 64 regular-season games, the deal becomes worth $87 million ($21.75 million). The maximum value of the deal (if he earns all incentives, an extreme long shot) is $101 million. The practical guarantee is $50.125 million because the Jaguars can avoid the $5 million roster bonus only by cutting him after one season, which would mean that he will have received $45.125 million for one year with the team. Which surely won’t happen, even though the Jags cut quarterback Blake Bortles after only one year of his most recent deal.
Why the NFL proposed replay rule modifications, and what happens now - ESPN It’s true. After months of discussion and debate, the NFL’s competition committee has no answer for the officiating mistake that marred last season’s NFC Championship Game. There apparently will be no safety net in 2019 if and when two highly graded officials fail to penalize an obvious pass interference foul happening a few feet away. This is maddening and begs for future trouble. But while the committee is punting on that specific problem, it has nevertheless proposed an unprecedented rule change that would address some of the highest-impact officiating mistakes of recent years. If approved -- and to be frank, it will be a tough hurdle -- the league would add pass interference fouls to its list of reviewable plays for one season. The proposal would represent a massive shift in philosophy in its own right, and more importantly, would address a type of mistake that affects the outcome of games more than any other penalty.
10 dominoes that could fall if the Cardinals draft Kyler Murray - SB Nation So what happens if he is? Murray’s selection at the top of next month’s draft wouldn’t just impact the Cardinals, it would affect the plans of every team looking for a franchise passer in 2019. It would also push Josh Rosen out of his position as Arizona’s budding young starting quarterback and onto the trading block. Here’s how that could look, given what we know about teams’ draft needs and current assets so far.
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onlinecoachdan-blog · 6 years
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What Is The Purpose Of Your Life?
I want my life to have a clear meaning.
Right now something's broken inside me. Boredom and sadness always come when I get disappointed in my hobbies, because sometimes, instead of offering me what I really want, they give anger and confusion (which if fine, but it does go over the top every few months). What is it that I really want?
Also, I don't have the courage to find the job while attending to the University: I have to complete the homework every week. Should I still try? I really-really want to buy the life purpose course, but I can't, because I don't have a job at the moment.
I'm currently a freshman in college and I am working towards being an actuary because I'm exceptional at mathematics and I want to earn a decent living. Recently though, I have been coming to realize what life is really about and its not really the size of your house that matters its the people inside it. With that being said, and with all the news as of late, I cant help but wonder what I truly want to do with my life. Even before this video I realized that being an actuary was only what other people wanted me to be, or so I perceived. Almost like some sort of socially constructed pathway for me and people intellectually like me.
But now that I am going through some sort of coming of age, I have a particular need/want to help people. Now this is where my problem lays:  Is helping people as a profession what I truly want to do? Or do I really want to find some career path that I love and help people as a byproduct or even as a hobby of mine? Either way I realize most people would take it as a noble pursuit and thats not why I do it. I would be doing it solely to make myself truly happy on the inside. Not some fake shit that can be sold to me from some greedy corporate manager. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
I'm finishing a masters degree in engineering. Unsure what I want to do, but employment at this level requires high level of specialization. Can't travel, I have too many loans. I've had a decent amount of experiences outside academia in terms of the social realm but I can't seem to find anything tangible that I like. Any time I've seen what an engineer does in a corporation, it bores me. I find myself prodding my own brain and reading, I am almost dreading applying for jobs. 
How refreshing it is to know I was conscious enough to do this on my own. In college I excelled quickly and discovered I really like teaching and tutoring others. Out of college I became a web and app designer/developer. I once again excelled but the job became boring. I learned I hated sitting inside with little human interaction staring at a computer all day. However that career gave me the income to do a lot of new things like martial arts, fitness, and nutrition education. I'm now leaving the world of computers, I've started a fitness business to TEACH/TRAIN fitness and nutrition.
I just graduated from a community college last semester, and I am not sure what to do with my life at this moment, I currently work at a corporation warehouse. I don't like my job because it gets extremely hot in there. It pays well, but its hot and I get one day off now. I have been told by people at the job and my parents that I should go back to school. My plan was to work for a little more and take some time off from school for a semester. I don't want to go back and not take classes I am not interested, I wanted to pursue psychology, but my mind was in it for the money more then the enjoyment of the work. I didn't go further because I don't know how to handle helping people.
I am 45, with a post graduate degree and I have all the money I need. I have no passion whatsoever. I have reached a plateau. I guess I just wanted to make money and now that I have it, I don't feel like working at all. I have probably worked 2-3 days out of every 3 months for the past 4 yrs. and those times I worked, I had to force myself cuz things were starting to go south. I have lost a lot of time and money I could have had and enjoyed but I just don't want to do anything. Literally nothing! Changing my job is not an option and would make no difference, I still want to do nothing. How the heck do I find passion and motivation to get out of my resort like mansion?! My shopper buys my food; my cook makes the food; and my cleaning lady does the cleaning. Everything I want is right here. I don't think you'd want to leave if you were here. How do I find the hunger and the fire? How do I get out of the house and get back to society? I have no desire. Well actually, I do have the desire to have a passion. Can you help?
I was one of those guys that knew what he wanted at an early age. I was a musician from age 12 and all I could think about was being a great player. I tuned pro at 17, made   my living as a pro, at 30 it was over. I was done. But I had lived my dream. I was never happier, but I just couldn't do it anymore. I knew I was something more. I realized I did it all for ego. for that "approval"  That ego identity didn't fit anymore. So here I am 20 years later, There is nothing that gives my authentic self, motivation. I have tried everything. The things I love, I cannot make money at in known framework. I am almost ready to become a hermit, or monk. I have experienced the joy of passion. its like what do you do after you have been to the moon? what else is there?
I graduated and started working nearly 4 years ago. And I have changed 3 companies already. I also want to upgrade me, to allow myself to see new things, to learn, etc. But my history of changing job too many times impacts me badly right now. It seems that all recruiters do NOT like this, and I have been unemployed for 7 months, failing lots of interviews. Please share with your thinking and how to get out of this situation?
I'm 23 and looking for my purpose. I know for a fact I want to help people in some way. For the longest time I thought psychiatric work would be my career but whenever I truly think about it, I want to make a bigger impact in peoples lives. It's frustrating being so close but not being able to specifically know what it is I really want to do with my life. I'm definitely not settling for something small though.
I've been fortunate to have been able to do everything you've suggested except travel the world so far. Funny, but I'm happiest when I'm covered in paint. Doesn’t matter if I'm painting walls, furniture, or a painting. I need to make that into a steady income somehow!
I seriously have a problem with finding my passion. sometimes i'm passionate about something and sometimes I’m not. For example, I loved playing soccer like for my whole life and when I became the captain of the team and the best player there I felt like wanting to try something new despite having a great chance of being a successful soccer player. I left soccer for bodybuilding. I read a lot about nutrition and everything about gaining muscles and getting fit and I got the size I always wanted and same story looking for something new. That's really frustrating sometimes I'm crazy about something and sometimes I'm not.
I'm into arts but I'm already turning 17 so I feel like if I go to art school now I missed out on so much. And I'm in A school that is considered "smart" and I feel like if I go to art everyone in my school will find me stupid? I know this sounds stupid but these are my worries.
I'm a sophomore in High School but I have a a really big problem. I actually don't know what career to focus on I need to to come up with an idea fast I don't have time to explore I just need to know what I'm really good at. So I can choose the right courses for my career , I don't wanna end up choosing the wrong courses at the end of the day when I really find my passion I won't be able to pursue it because I didn't have the right foundation.
RESOURCES
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-do-you-figure-out-your-lifes-purpose/
http://coachinginst.com/online
http://coachinginst.com/career/
https://www.bustle.com/articles/197962-12-life-coaches-give-you-their-best-career-advice-for-2017
https://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/19/business/smallbusiness/18webshifting.html
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juanxiety-blog · 6 years
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Clarity, Tao, Lessons Learned and The Triumph of Eccentricity.
Adam Ant wrote, sung and still sings: “Ridicule is nothing to be scared of”. He’s in his 60′s. He had to struggle with a massive, crippling bipolar disorder. He still wears makeup and motherfucker looks great for someone his age.  All of his pitfalls documented in scandalous tabloid typeface. And yet, he pulled through and we adore the shit out of him.  In the end, he was right. And he taught us well.  Every important decision in my life was marked by one clear thought: I must always be honest to myself. Flip that coin: every stupid decision I made was the result of one clear thought: I’m not important to myself.  “ Herein is the subtle wisdom of life: The soft and weak overcomes the hard and strong. “ I recently stumbled a childhood friend of mine. His back was crooked, his face was a bitter rictus and he looked older than he actually is.  For those of you who’ve never seen me before: I look 10 years younger, I have a longish mess of wavy hair I’m letting grow longer and I wear black denims every single day, leather bracelets and occult-related pins.  I’m also pasty, not too tall and a bit overweight... ... ladies...  I’ve been dealing with depression most of my adult life. Other people had the chance to thrive on their chosen career path while I spent my time doing my best to un-clusterfuck myself. Every day is a struggle against self-hatred, anxiety and self-destructive patterns. I didn’t really built a network because I cannot really relate to many people and the times I’ve tried to meet people for strategic business and job purposes have failed miserably: I come off as anxious, fake and unprepared.  ... ladies...  I had a small talk with my friend about what he’s been up to and, well... he’s not doing that well. He’s a Civil Engineer (the guy is incredibly smart and disciplined and I know he had to overcome a bunch of obstacles. Motherfucker EARNED his skills) but he’s currently unemployed. As a choice. He grew disenchanted from the gigs he had to take and right now, in his words: he’s managing his family’s property.  I’m currently working as a Customer Service agent for a streaming app. It’s not a dream job, but it pays my bills, allows me to save and I get to meet interesting people every now and then.  I cannot even remember what the hell I was telling him about my job. He interrupted me and went.  “You’ll never grow up, huh?” That hurt in a very familiar way.  Because I’m an adult. I’ve grown up.  What the fuck am I supposed to do? Treat the last 20 years of my life as a trial and pretend I’m someone entirely different? “That? Oh, yeah! I used to be really interested into that but I had to move on. You know, grow up. Thank you for bringing that up. I remember it fondly. But I have a job and kids and a partner.” Sorry: my process was far from standard. You didn’t hate yourself up to the point of sabotaging your life, your friendships, your relationships. 
You didn’t hurt yourself up to the point of hurting those around you, up to the point of hurting the people you loved because you were unable to express what you needed. 
You didn’t threw away opportunities because you had no idea of who you were aside from the fact that you hated yourself and hated being alive. 
You didn’t have to walk a steep hill towards redemption. while carrying all this.  I get to be who I am because I EARNED the right to be. I made my mistakes, learned from them and built my life upon my limitations, viewpoints and conclussions.  The softer and weaker aspects of myself cleaned house. My curiosity, my naivety, my kindness, my need to believe in others, my urge for acceptance... they made me a bit of a better person.   it was not bravado what brought me peace: it was vulnerability, honesty and compassion. I earned the right to be myself. I still have to learn to ALLOW myself to be. Self-kindness is complicated to attain.  Compassion, motherfuckers: that’s where it’s at.  ... ladies... 
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newstfionline · 7 years
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Retooling the workforce
Sara Miller Llana, CS Monitor, June 18, 2017
BILBAO, SPAIN--Koldo Mentxaka was always considered the “brains” in the family. So it was no surprise when he, the oldest of four brothers, completed a university degree--the only one in his family to do so--and then went on to get his master’s in computer engineering. After working at IBM and later as a computer consultant in his hometown of Bilbao, on Spain’s northern coast, he lost his job in 2013 in the wake of the global financial crisis.
“Not you,” he remembers his mother saying to him at the time. “Of the four of you, not you.”
He tried to keep his cool. After all, he’d already had a successful career spanning almost two decades. Yet months of joblessness passed, one after the other. “I was sending out résumés everywhere, doing online courses, but at the end you lose hope. You think, ‘am I so bad that no one wants to hire me?’”
After 2-1/2 years of unemployment--and at age 40--he made a decision. He would forget his elite university degree, his long business lunches. He was going to trade school. “This was my way out, the way to recycle myself,” he says on a recent morning, a few months away from finishing a two-year course that’s positioned him for a job programming machinery at an industrial software company.
Mr. Mentxaka is undergoing the kind of retraining and career reinvention that societies will increasingly face as the world confronts some of the biggest workforce changes in more than a century. Technological change, the decline of manufacturing, the restructuring of “white collar” industries, globalization--all are dramatically changing the nature of work and the types of jobs that will be available in the future.
“Clearly the period of rapid industrialization in the 1800s, the creation of the factory economy, was a big change, but that occurred over a pretty long period,” says Mark Muro, an expert in advanced and inclusive economic development at the Brookings Institution in Washington. “I actually think this is one of the most disruptive moments we’ve seen, because there are more types of occupations facing more challenges.”
Most attention has been paid to blue-collar workers whose industries have been wiped out by dislocation and technological progress. Yet they are not the only laborers suffering. In Europe, the debt crisis has eased, but low-growth economies mean a dearth of job openings--particularly high-quality jobs--has persisted for all types of workers, including midlevel career people such as Mentxaka. And youth unemployment rates of more than 30 percent in some European countries have given rise to a generation of underpaid college graduates surviving on temporary contracts.
Even among those who have jobs, change is the new reality, adding to the importance of retraining. In the United States, for instance, the average person now can expect to change jobs 10 to 15 times over a working lifetime, often with changes of career in the mix. Years ago people pursued a single career path for the majority of their lives.
In Europe, where labor laws make it tougher to hire and fire people and professional reinvention is not as prevalent, the churn is less pronounced but no less significant. One survey in 2015 found that nearly half of all workers in the United Kingdom intended to switch jobs within three years. The average in Europe overall was 34 percent.
To help ease these transitions, Europe is offering some of the most innovative solutions. While its rigid laws and zealous unions make labor reforms difficult, Europe nonetheless far outspends the US on labor market programs, puts more emphasis on apprenticeships and vocational training, and generally places higher value on helping displaced workers.
The US, to be sure, has an economy that is outperforming Europe’s. But many experts say that Americans still have a lot to learn from Europe as workers struggle to find their way in the new economy, not to mention that retraining programs can change the tenor of politics: Some say they could act as a buffer against the more radical elements of populism sweeping the world, fueled in part by angry, unemployed workers.
“We know full well that the proper handling of the [economic] ruptures has to do with proper social safety nets: with education, with training, with the capacity of the labor market to relocate people,” says Pascal Lamy, former director general of the World Trade Organization and now president emeritus of the Paris-based think tank Notre Europe/Jacques Delors Institute.
Globalization has been disrupting jobs for decades. That’s why the US Labor Department enacted the Trade Adjustment Assistance (TAA) program in 1962--to help workers displaced by jobs moving offshore and bolster support for trade liberalization. Europeans were thinking about it even earlier, in 1951, when they formed the bloc that would later turn into the European Union.
Such programs have gotten a new look as automation has added to uncertainties about the future of work, especially after the recent financial crisis. And the pace of change is only likely to pick up. A McKinsey & Co. report in 2015 showed that 60 percent of all occupations could see 30 percent or more of their activities automated in the future. That’s not just low-skilled work but jobs in fields such as mortgage lending and health care.
Brahim Ben Addi could easily have succumbed to the changes sweeping through industrialized economies--especially globalization. He started work right out of high school at the French car manufacturer PSA Group, mounting airbags and brakes at a plant outside Paris. He thought he’d work there until he retired, just as his father had. But PSA closed the factory in 2013, in the face of increased competition from overseas automakers.
“It’s like going 180 kilometers per hour, then braking to 10,” says Mr. Ben Addi, a father of three, who worked at the plant for 13 years.
Entrepreneurial by nature, Ben Addi had already been learning breadmaking on his own time. His generous wage insurance and payout from the company--more than €65,000 ($73,000)--allowed him to trade working on an assembly line for kneading dough. He opened up his own bakery, La Gourman dise, in his neighborhood in a Parisian suburb.
In three years, he has become something of a local phenomenon. His flour-dusted “tradition” baguette was named the best in his community, no small accolade in France. Now he wants to open up a bakery in Paris and win best baguette of the city, an honor that would allow him to serve the Élysée Palace for a year.
“It’s hard,” says Ben Addi of being an entrepreneur, as he stands behind the counter of his bakery in a crisp white smock, catering to a lunchtime crowd. “If you lose your job, you have unemployment [insurance]. Here if I lose my job, I lose a lot of money. You have to have courage.”
Ben Addi received some of the money to start his new venture from the European Globalization Adjustment Fund (EGF), which, like the TAA, is intended to help retrain laid-off workers. The EGF recently expanded its assistance to include workers who lost jobs during the global financial crisis and youths in regions disproportionately affected by foreign competition who are neither working nor studying.
Yet fired European workers get far more help than just EGF grants. According to figures from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD), France and Germany spend much more on labor market adjustment programs than the US does--including on wage insurance, support for starting new companies, and access to training. France and Germany spend 0.99 percent and 0.66 percent of their gross domestic product respectively on such programs, compared with 0.11 percent for the US.
It’s clear that “social protection in Europe is much more developed than in the US,” says Baudouin Baudru, whose portfolio at the European Commission includes the EGF. “It is in the DNA, the history of the development of Europe.”
Some would argue, of course, that too much government help and financial protection are bad for economies: Generous unemployment benefits can discourage people from finding work.
The US, for its part, fosters more of a bootstrap spirit than most countries in Europe. This can be good for workers and creation generally, says Mr. Muro, but not necessarily for those in need. It can aggravate a mismatch between skills and what’s needed for the jobs of the future. “I think that divide is one of the great flaws of the US system,” says Muro.
Many point to Nordic countries as examples of smart collaboration between government, industry, and workers. They have a long history of consensus in labor relations, with unions and employers working together to head off debilitating protests. But the arrangement also serves to prepare workers for the realities of modern economies.
Sweden, for instance, relies on “job security councils”--nonprofits funded by employers that work with employees, employers, and unions to identify where new jobs are and to retrain workers for them. Workers, as a result, are less prone to fight to hang onto jobs that may become obsolete. Eighty-five percent of fired workers in Sweden find new jobs within a year, the highest rate of OECD member countries.
“It makes it possible to push structural change in society,” says Jesper Roine, an associate professor at the Stockholm School of Economics who sat on a Swedish “Future of Work” commission. “You get individual people who are not afraid of change simply because they know, ‘if something happens to me, I’m not totally on my own; there will be some kind of retraining.’”
France and other European countries are currently wrestling with how much government involvement there should be in helping workers cope with the new economy. François Béharel, president of Randstad France, the French branch of the global employment agency, says he’d like to see officials doing more to help college graduates and companies that can’t find workers with the skills they need.
In France, the youth unemployment rate is nearly 22 percent; in Spain it’s close to 40 percent, in Greece more than 45 percent. Mr. Béharel says these numbers could go down if governments took a more active role in spelling out which jobs and salaries are connected to specific degrees. “As it is now, the students have no idea, so when they finish [school], they find themselves unemployed,” he says.
At the same time, 50 percent of employers in France report they have trouble finding workers with the right talents, compared with 40 percent in the EU on average, according to European Commission figures. “Every day we are lacking welders, sheet metal workers, plumbers,” Béharel says. “We should be promoting the blue-collar work that corresponds to the needs of the marketplace.”
To do that requires, first, changing perceptions at home. “Parents need to understand that even if they want their children to become white-collar workers, there are many, many more jobs for blue-collar workers,” he says. It’s an idea best exemplified in Germany--in the form of an apprenticeship program that makes blue-collar work seem “noble.”
The country’s widely lauded vocational-training program has helped keep youth unemployment down to about 6.5 percent, far below the average rates in other European nations and in the US. Its two-pronged approach gives students a chance to learn theories in the classroom while honing their skills as drywallers, insulation installers, carpenters, and boat builders on the job through apprenticeships. According to German government statistics, about two-thirds of trainees get jobs with the companies they’ve apprenticed with. “In some fields [young people] with a vocation qualification are even more sought after than university graduates,” a government website proudly declares.
That’s something that Ander Cabrera knows all too well. He is in his first year of robotics at the Salesianos Deusto professional training school in Bilbao--the same school that Mentxaka attends. Mr. Cabrera already has a degree in electrical engineering from the University of the Basque Country. But when he graduated last spring, he realized the chances of finding a good full-time job with benefits were slim. He watched as friends accepted temporary jobs that eventually left them unemployed. While he considered getting a master’s degree, in the end he decided that trade school was the smartest choice, particularly given that Spain, since 2012, has modeled its programs after the German approach. “I hope vocational school gives me an edge,” he says.
Classmate Sarai Noriega has her own reasons for wanting to get vocational training. Like many others here, she got a university degree, in this case in construction engineering. She even found a job. But she didn’t like the long hours she had to work, which weren’t viable for her as a single mother of two. She watched her blue-collar counterparts clocking in and out for the same salary that she made and decided to change careers. The price of the full-time program she is taking in automation and robotics is relatively cheap, about €80 ($90) a month, which was also an attraction.
“This was the fastest way to get a new job,” she says, struggling to wire a circuit board. “Many single mothers are in this situation. This could be a solution for them.”
A return to blue-collar work is not just a matter of pragmatism. When the American writer Matthew B. Crawford, who has a PhD in political philosophy, penned a book about why he decided to work as a motorcycle mechanic in Richmond, Va., he became a cause célèbre. Published in 2009, “Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work” attested to the contentment that can be derived from working with one’s hands instead of doing “knowledge” work.
“The satisfactions of manifesting oneself concretely in the world through manual competence have been known to make a man quiet and easy,” he writes. “They seem to relieve him of the felt need to offer chattering interpretations of himself to vindicate his worth. He can simply point: the building stands, the car now runs, the lights are on.”
Mentxaka can relate to the gratification. He liked working as a computer consultant. He would have happily continued to do it, but he couldn’t find a way to sustain a career in the industry. Today he says he derives unexpected pleasure from his new vocation. At school they’ve learned how to make electronic switchboards and combine them with programming languages, sensors, motors, and robotic arms--skills he is using at the software company where he’s apprenticing. “It is like a game but for grown-ups,” he says.
While in the depths of joblessness, he says, he started to understand how people can complain about immigrants getting jobs when citizens can’t find work. Then he said he had a revelation: “You wake up--you realize you [can either] stay behind or you can go ahead.”
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Im unemployed and ashamed. The idea that people dont want to work is a ridiculous myth | Vicki Nash
The stigma attached to unemployment can be dangerous. We should all think before we judge people who are struggling with trying to find work
Last year I made a decision Id been struggling with for a few years: I walked away from the business I was running, the business Id sacrificed most of my 20s and numerous friendships and relationships to, the business I had dreamed of running since my primary school years.
To say this was a difficult choice would be a massive understatement but it was what was right for me, or so I believed. I wanted a social life, a regular job and a regular paycheque, and most of all I wanted to feel like a regular person.
For too long I had felt like someone who was tied to her business, who was constantly overworked, overstressed and over budget, but Id lost track of who I was outside the business. I ran a small thoroughbred farm breeding and breaking in horses for racing, and it was my life for a long time. But its clearly not an industry that leaves me with an obvious place to transition.
Another factor was my age. If I was leaving my business behind then I also wanted to leave the industry behind, start afresh entirely and, at 28, I was aware that not only was I getting ancient in terms of entry-level positions, but that if I was going to make a success of myself in my new field then I was better off getting started in it yesterday.
Unfortunately it has now been over six months since I started in earnest to apply for jobs in different fields, seeking to be reborn on a new career path. With the exception of one online video interview, I havent made it past the first checkpoint.
There are a lot of factors at play in this, and in some way I even have sympathy with the countless employers who have rejected me without even meeting me; unemployment is high at that moment, particularly in the Geelong region where I now live. I have no experience that counts, and that I was self-employed for so long does negatively affect the quality of my references. It has also become clear to me that most prospective employers see a history of self-employment in a negative light.
But sympathising with all the reasons that people dont want to hire me doesnt actually make the task of job hunting any easier, if anything it makes it worse. I can see why people dont want to hire a now 29-year-old with no relevant experience and a history of self-employment and, as time passes, I increasingly fail to see why they would.
I imagine this loss of faith in oneself and the growing belief that the ongoing rejections are never going to turn around is common among the unemployed. I just never thought Id be one of them.
Going into this, my biggest concern was that I would have to start at the bottom of the ladder and work my way up. It never occurred to me that I would be unable to get a leg on the first rung. I would now give almost anything for the opportunity to prove my worth in almost any position and at any level.
This time last year I was still in the process of closing down my business. It was heartbreaking and depressing but it was something I got through by reminding myself how much easier it would be when it was through.
I knew, not with cockiness but simply because of the faith I had in myself, that I would find another arena in which to excel. The thought that I may be unemployed and on the precipice of giving up entirely never occurred to me.
Among the things I knew about myself then was that I was intelligent and hardworking, with many transferrable skills that would make me an asset in any number of industries but I no longer know these things.
When I think about my unemployed status today these are the things I know: that I may never find anyone willing to hire me; that with every passing day I get a little older and a little less employable and the majority of my intelligent, articulate and sometimes witty cover letters are not even being read. Or perhaps theyre not that witty after all.
I do not feel this every day but there are days where a previously unfamiliar feeling of uselessness and hopelessness do creep over me, and they are demons that I find myself increasingly unable to keep at bay. I never thought unemployment would happen to me. I imagined having to take a job I didnt necessarily want but no job at all wasnt anywhere on my radar. I think its probably this way for a lot of unemployed individuals. And this is probably the greatest lesson that has come out of this experience: that the idea that people dont want to work, that the unemployed are somehow lazy or unmotivated, is a ridiculous myth. And yet I still havent learned it completely.
I still lie to acquaintances and even friends about my employment; make out that Im doing some casual work to tide me over or make jokes about it because Im ashamed. I judge myself every day and Im determined not to let others judge me too.
There is a stigma attached to unemployment that can be dangerous because I dont think it would take much for it to create a potentially irreversible self-hatred. I fill my days with routines that involve exercise, cleaning, job applications and writing and certainly no television or leisure time during work hours; Im strict on that. I dont claim welfare of any kind, because apart from anything else I am far too proud, another one of my failings.
I am not what the unemployed stereotype looks like but I am unquestionably unemployed and Im struggling mentally, emotionally and financially every day. I often barely recognise myself.
This is not a story of self-pity, although it has elements of that Im sure. Im sacrificing my pride in writing about this. But its a lesson to think before you judge because unemployment is hard. If we could just come out and speak about our own struggles with unemployment freely and without shame and stigma, it may just get a little bit easier.
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from Im unemployed and ashamed. The idea that people dont want to work is a ridiculous myth | Vicki Nash
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