#i am just so happy you are in my little Tumblr circle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

c0smoshit · 8 months

Note

Hun, I just saw your post about my request being posted earlier! Don't worry about it! Take all the time you need and I want you to enjoy it as much as you can! I know you'll do amazing, and it'll be worth the wait! I am so sorry Tymblr has been a bitch

Blue eyes ミ★

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Cloud Strife/Reader

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕝𝕠𝕥 ≫ Cloud's been having some horrific dreams lately

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ angst!, fluff too, traumas, nightmares, slight harrasment from a drunk guy, visions, voices, not proofread!

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ Sorry for the inactivity and tumblr being a bitch :(( But anyways, enjoy this mess 🫶😭

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 4.462

« Red »

The colour his mind pictured when he started hearing things, seeing them. His head spinned and hurt, closing his eyes tightly while strange voices filled his mind.

He didn't know where they came from or why they did it, but he was so tired of them.

At first it didn't happen really often, it all started when he stepped on that polluted city. It caused him such a weird and sad feeling, Midgar, the city that was supposed to be such an advance in technology, bringing fresh and huge mako reactors to create those little colorful pearls everyone seemed to want.

But it was all bullshit, they were destroying the planet, milking every mako drop out of it. It got to a point were people couldn't even see the daylight from the slums, greeted by hours and hours of darkness and emptiness.

His mind often circled around how lifeless the faces of the people were, matched with the depressing sight of the metallic buildings and playgrounds. The only natural light that beamed through the endless sandy paths were the children, bringing honest giggles and big jovial grins to the world.

How would it feel to be a kid again?

Nostalgia rested deep inside him, he mourned those years, when it all felt right and real.

Long walks along the little village with his mother, longer ones in the mountains by the back of his house.

Breathe clean air, sleeping with the sound of the air hitting the slope of the mountains with persistence.

His mother caressing his hair as he told her not to ruffle it up

"Learning" how to be a SOLDIER by himself.

He reminisces about his loneliness too, he constantly looked foward to what Tifa's friends were up to.

Although he didn't really fit with anyone on Nibelheim besides Tifa, he was happy and he had dreams. Dreams that were soon sliced by a huge Masamune.

No matter how hard his subconciousness, driven by the silhouette of SOLDIERS and Sephiroth, tried to tell him that those kids were inferior to him, they seemed to be so joyful and honestly happy.

And he just... was there.

Those were the happiest years he had ever looked back on, and now they just remained as memories.

But time appeared to exacerbate those imminent dark nights.

People would frequently put him as a companionless guy, one of many who enjoyed the silent strides of their own feet. And he was, he loved being alone, not with his mind.

He had become accustomed to being alone, he always had been a solitary person and that's all he knew.

His mind roved around his past, his memories, and he often found himself trying to decipher if they were real or just some images that this new voice had placed deeply inside his psyche.

Maybe that was the reason he actually likes spending time with the group, not really the fact that he got to be with them but the comfort of the voices being subdued by them. Even if it just lasted some hours.

Midgar had a dark aura around it that he only seemed to discern. And it got worse and worse, scarlet painted memories of the ones he couldn't protect.

He was tired, tired of it all.

Tired of fighting only to be compensated with grief and regret.

Tired of taking care of everyone, as cruel as it sounded.

Tired of seeing him everywhere, even on the safety of your arms.

The man, if he even deserved that name, who took his life away savagely, his dreams and his trust for him. The day he remembers the most, yet so vaguely, a chaos of blurred ( burnt ) out images inside his messed up brain.

The years had taken away decades of sanity that should still remain inside him.

And hundreds of hours of sleep too.

His body sometimes walked itself out of his makeshift appartment Tifa had lent him, governed by the need of "fresh" air. Nonetheless they were just mere excuses for the fear he felt, knowing that he had to sleep that night with his own thoughts.

He saw you once, streets painted with the caliginosity of the moon, you looked calm as you feet dragged you through the solid metal walls.

He pondered about going and talk to you, but he opted to just watch you fade away into the dead of night. Kind of creepy, he thought, but he didn't want to disturb your peace.

But the metal clank of his comically large sword, resting heavily on his back almost exposed him. Two confused glowing orbs looked around, trying to decipher what they just heard. However they eventually calmed themselves down and continued their enigmatic pace.

He let out a sigh of relief he wasn't aware was holding, lowering the rapid gloved hand that tried to stop the movement of his sword from the handle.

Before he decided that he should leave you alone, something sparkled inside him, something was wrong.

He resumed his steps and before he even had a chance to think, some strange man approached you. Maybe you had a boyfriend he didn't know about?

That option was quickly discarded as your face scrunched up in disgust for a brief moment before you smiled at the man, telling him something. Something he didn't seem really excited about as he slurred some words out of his mouth while closing the distance between the both of you.

His forbearance soon emptied itself, he couldn't bear seeing you like this for another minute. He was aware you knew how to manage yourself in fights and this wouldn't be the first time your shin ended on some guy's crotch.

But everytime something like this occurs, you try to be as polite as you posibly can, not wanting the situation to escalate to a higher problem. Muttering some

"I'm fine thank you"

Your hands crossed in front of your chest, tugging tightly your own shirt as you tried to walk away. But the weird guy got even closer to you, smiling as if he was proud of winning a medal, trying to cage you into the wall.

"Aww cmon, I just wanna have some fun tonight"

His disgusting drunken reek filled your poor nostrils, god why couldn't he just walk away or something?

"You don't want to have some fun?"

You were forced to stop dead on your tracks as his hand launched itself, hitting the wall besides you, ending up at your eye level.

"Hey-"

Your eyes widened in horror as he came closer to your face, whispering something into your ear that your mind couldn't process, as the only thing that popped up instead was the image of your fist fitting so good into his cheekbone.

The hand that grabbed your waist was your last straw, but before you could land a decent blow into the man's face something stopped you. Well, rather someone.

Some signature light blonde locks followed by a stoic and quite angry expression appeared behind the guy, his thin lips parted, words fell out of them full of irritation.

"Mind your own bussiness, freak"

A scoff was heard but it was soon replaced by a leather sound, the yank of someone's jacket followed by the loud sound of a body hitting the ground.

The man quickly got himself up, dusting off his clothes and when he was ready to make some comments about the appearance of the one who had taken him down, he decided to shut his mouth as his eyes travelled to the weapon he was wearing.

That and his intimidating appearance, the moon casting it's light into his back so his face was dark enough not to reveal his features, but not his piercing mako eyes.

Eyes that stared down at him with the most disgusting look he had ever seen on anyone's face before.

And in spite of the fact that Cloud wasn't that intimidating like Barret could be, his actions made his whole facade darker. He wasn't a tall and beefy guy, but he was strong.

Just by one movement of his sword he could slice a motorbike in half, his dexterity with blades was what made him feared.

And yet he was also good in close battles, clear agility as he moved through both the battlefield and the hits that were thrown at him. That and his quick thinking and last minute dodges he offered too.

The man had already vanished into the rumbling engines that worked overnight, fused with the quiet chatter of the souls who worked late. You sighed out in harmony with his grip softening on the handle of his sword once again.

You had so many questions that needed to be answered right now, the louder one asking how come he was here tonight?

The night ended with him taking you back home, telling you that you should be more careful, gaining a frow of your brows and you saying something about how you could protect yourself.

And he knew that, he had seen you fight with him, taking down enemies that he was too slow to see. But he still wanted to take a look after you, make sure nobody harmed you in any ways.

He wanted to be there the way you were there for him.

« Blue »

The way his visions were tinted like, navy blue mixed with some undertones of green.

They were the worst part of all this madness he was enduring.

They caused him headaches and the feeling of disorientation, and he absolutely despised being lost. He didn't even know who he was or why he was here, his mind was the worst puzzle he had to ever go through.

However, that wasn't the darkest thing about it.

The visions felt so real, vivid images flashing through his mind like a high speed train, travelling through all his senses and flooding them.

He could see everything and no matter how hard he tried to squeeze his eyes shut, his own brain forced them open.

He could hear the cries and wailings for mercy, sometimes for help, his help.

He could touch, but everything was so far away yet so close to him.

He could taste the bitter-sweet savour of guilt.

The rancid smell of sadness.

The only sound that brought comfort to him, as it being a signal that he was still alive, ceased it's rythmic pumping. A looming mist spreading from his stomach to the rest of his body, fueling his nerves.

He could sense that they either were years appart from his timeline or mere minutes away.

But the conclusions all ended up in the same alleyway, they were going to happen.

Something deep inside whispered into his pierced ear that he couldn't do anything about them, that they weren't just some visions inside his head.

And they frightened him, watching from an imaginary seat how his friends died, how the planet was destroyed, his face.

As a result from this, his head became a cage that no matter how hard he tried to break the iron bars with his naked hands, he was too weak to do so. He just wanted liberty.

That cage multiplied at least ten times the feeling of claustrophobia the aura of the city gave him.

"No!"

A heartrending cry ringed painfully through his ears, loud enough to make them feel as if they were about to bleed.

His eyes were closed but he didn't want them open either way, the ground felt cold even with his boots on.

"Please don't"

The agonizing voice didn't die down like he was waiting for, instead it increased it's volume, almost as if it wanted for him to look up and see what was going on.

And eventually, he did.

His eyes searched for the voice ( for you ), eyes falling on the hand that was clutching for dear life a metal structure.

He recognized the place right away, the lukewarm temperature envolving the gears and his body, the mustiness that filled up his nose. He was inside a reactor.

Faint lights gloomed upon his clothes as his feet dragged him through the grilles, his back felt empty. He didn't have the soothing weight of his weapon, feeling vulnerable to whoever wanted to fight him.

"Please, Cloud"

That did it for him, it was unmistakably you.

Your sweet and sometimes monotone tone was gone, blatantly swapped with a much more startled and uneasy one. Your hands were the only thing visible for him to see right now, the image of your body suspended in the air already present inside his brain.

He didn't know why but a memory of your hand touching his flooded his mind, he liked the softness of them, he wished he didn't had gloves on.

The more intense your cries became, the more he wanted to scream back at you, tell you that he was there, that you were going to be fine.

But nothing came out of his mouth

He kneeled down in front of you, finally able to see your face. But he didn't like the way you were sweating, how your eyes widened in horror as you looked back at him. He wanted to see your features soften, to hear your laugh, your voice telling him not to overwork himself.

The abyss consumed him, what seemed like miles and miles of hollowness and darkness bellow you.

Your left hand slipped off the edge with a yelp, you were slowly sinking down and he wasn't going to let you do so. His hand grabbed the one that was still gripping the platform, clutching it tightly.

He wouldn't let you slip off that easily.

Your quivering voice was the only sound that could deafen the roar of the engines around the both of you. Although you were visibly sweating, your hand felt cold under the thin layer of his black gloves.

An invisible rock attached to your feet by a thick rope made you feel heavier than before, gradually dragging you lower and lower from his grasp.

He couldn't even let out grunts or sighs out of his mouth, he wanted to tell you to hold on, just a bit more and you were going to be safe with him once again.

He tried to lift you up, but you didn't budge. His body tensed up and he was becoming more and more impatient.

By the time your hand finally gave up on him, he was laying face down on the ground, his feet stopping him from falling down with you.

"I'm sorry"

A tear slipped from your tired eyes, your body dissapearing into the void with the saddest smile he had ever seen on your face. He didn't want to ever see that expression again, he wanted you to smile brightly, not fade out lights with it.

And why were you apologizing? He should be the one to do so, he was unable to save you. You should be here with him now, enveloping your loving arms around him while you thanked him.

He felt his heart being crushed down, he wouldn't be able to feel you pat his shoulder in a reassuring way whenever he had to fight someone again, your hands dusting off his clothes after a long mission.

He wanted to cry, to scream, to kill someone.

But his mouth was sealed shut, his hands trembled but no tears seemed to stain his cheeks. His heart pumped harshly inside his chest and as if someone were tugging his hair, his head hurt.

And when he closed his eyes, they were opened again.

But he wasn't met with cramped, massive iron walls around him, he was met with his unfurnished blank wall.

Thank god, he thought.

His sheet was between his legs and the floor, a cotton waterfall on the side rail of the bed. His shirt was ridden up above his belly button, the moon was still up in the sky staring at him with a motionless facade. And he could've sworn it was mocking him.

He had sat up abruptly, letting out a screech he wanted to let out for a while now, reverberating from his chest and into the small room. He tried to calm his breathing, his hands clutched the matress bellow him.

His hair was messier than it usually was, he stared at the closed window and into the incessant lightless sky.

For the first time in his life he was pleased to see those streets again.

That took place about week ago and of course he didn't tell anyone. He didn't want to pile more stress and worry on the shoulders of the group.

On the outside, his demeanour didn't change a bit. Well, not for the ones who didn't know him.

His subtle tiredness and grumpiness was cristal clear for you to notice. His patience died down sooner than before and his irascibility when he was fighting someone was what exposed him.

And if his answers were dry and short they basically were nonexistent now.

But he had a thick skull and no matter how many times you asked him—

"Is everything alright?"

His head turned around to see you, a confused frown rested on his face. Had he done anything weird?

—he didn't seem to answer you.

He then shook his head and his hand, silently telling you that he was fine. But you stopped yourself before asking him a second time, you didn't want to be a nuisance either way.

You were walking next to him a few meters away from the group in front of you. They walked back to Seventh heaven, but you purposedly abandoned your talk to walk with Cloud instead.

And he didn't seem bothered by it, he appreciated the way you cared about him, but he couldn't tell you what was happening, not now.

He didn't dare to look at you, he knew if he did so, flashes of his prior dreams would engulf his mind.

Sooner or later he did, throbbing guilt crossed painfully his mind when he did so. He saw blue in your eyes.

An ocean emerged in front of his eyes, submerging your face and then your clothes, coalesced with a big meadow of beatiful grown grass that enveloped your features.

He could've found this view incredibly magestic if it wasn't for the fact that he knew what was about to happen.

He didn't- He couldn't take it anymore.

His skull appeared to be thicker inside his skin, crushing down his brain. His hands swiftly made contact with his forehead, eyes closed shut and avoiding to see anything.

Whispers and sometimes yells echoed through the dim alleyway, his knees bucking as he supported himself on the wall.

His eyes achingly opened up again, his hands grasped something that was too soft to be a stone wall, he saw your face.

"Please don't- Please don't go"

"to the reactor..."

Your soft voice with some hints of sleepiness reached his eardrums, was he dreaming?

A question he found himself asking a lot lately, not knowing how to discern between reality and a vision or a dream.

He hesitated to open his eyes once again, his headache had dissapeared but his eyelids felt heavier than before.

When was before?

He saw your face, but you weren't staring at him back. Subsequently your hands stroked his hair tenderly, a touch he would love to die for.

You were humming softly, his mother did that a lot when she was cleaning him up and tucking him before sleep.

He wanted to admire your beauty for just a little while, the moon stared at him once again, but this time he was the one who laughed at it.

Your soft skin, your hair released from the confines of your hair tie, your lips, your eyelashes that batted so cutely whenever you saw an animal, your nose.

You were from another dimension.

And he melted right away after you noticed that he was awake, your smile being the first thing that came into his vision. The loss of warmth on his blonde locks made him a bit mad.

That was when he noticed where he was laying on, your legs. Blood rushed to his cheeks, creating a slight blush on his pale skin. But he shrugged his thoughts fast enough for you not to notice his weakness.

He wished that whenever he had a nightmare or a crude vision your thighs would be there to craddle his head.

He didn't know why he was here but he didn't want to hear the answer too, he was more than happy to be there either way.

He knew he could speak right now, but he didn't have anything to say. Your hand falling down into his cheek followed with a kind look on your lips was what kept him silent.

And the words that fell from them were the only reason he was still fighting Shinra, fighting with you, for you, to hear them again and again.

He didn't demand poetic phrases for him to melt on spot, just by hearing the most simple reassuring worss fall from your lips was more than enough for him.

"I'm here for you "

He spent the rest of the night curled up like a ball on top of your legs, hearing your honeyed words deliciously filling his ears repeatedly.

He wouldn't tell you why he had passed out on top of you, why had he pushed you to the wall in front of the group as he anxiously warned you.

And he ceirtantly wouldn't tell you about how his dream of you walking alone in an alleyway was the reason his body walked itself out of his appartment.

The softness of your skin wasn't there anymore it was replaced by your cozy pillow, but it wasn't enough for him.

Dawn's first light entered through your closed window, hitting his face. He had slept without any worries for the first time in weeks, drowned in your touch.

He wanted to thank you, he only had spent a night with you and you had managed to clear his mind from any racing thoughts. His head craved for your touch, his arms and his hands too.

He looked down and he saw his usual clothes, but now they smelled like you.

But you weren't there, he looked around and he took advatange of the quiet dawn to see your room. It was the same size as his own one, but it was definitely prettier than his.

Clean sheets deliciously wrapped around his body that fell down onto his legs when he sat up on the bed, your bed. Cute posters and images about some cats, family and friends laying around on your desk or hanging on the wall.

He rubbed his somnolent eyes before getting off the bed with a swift move, laying on his feet. He noticed that they were lighter than before and when he looked down, he wasn't wearing his boots anymore. You had taken the time to take them off before getting him inside your bed, a small smile formed on his lips at the thought.

His head pekeed through your door as he opened it as quietly as he could, it was still pretty early so he didn't want to wake you up if you were still around.

Without the huge piece of metal behind his back he was pretty quiet, so he used that on his advantage.

His feet guided him until he reached what seemed to be like your living room, it was the same like your bedroom. It was a copy of his own one but much cozier.

But he didn't have time to look around like he did with your room, you were a much more pleasant sight to see. He walked silently until he was right next to your sleeping form.

The first thing that crossed his mind was how gorgerous you were like this, comfy and relaxed under the spell of sleepiness. Your rythmic slow-paced breaths, they reminded him of the sea.

However, he immediately felt bad for stealing your bed, he noticed the way you were curled up on the small couch, your back was probably going to kill you when you woke up.

So without any second thought, his left hand wrapped itself bellow your knees while his right one simultaneously enveloped your back. He gently lifted you up in his arms, your head lolling to the side until it met his shoulder, your temple resting next to his chest.

He wasn't going to lie to himself, he sometimes daydreamed about carrying you like this, how would it feel. Your sweet "thank you"'s echoed inside his head when he lifted your harmed form after a cruel battle, your arms hugging his neck.

A few minutes passed and he thanked his hard training for being able to hold you like this for a long while.

Your body shivered, right, you didn't seem to have a spare blanket other than the one in your bed. So he pressed his body closer to yours, trying to warm you up.

He knows he's already called you pretty and gorgerous over ten times now, but god, he needed to remark it. And right now you looked as cute as those cats you seemed to love, unconciously hiding your face on his chest with a long sigh.

He marched back into your room and he noticed that his buster sword was resting on the right wall of the living room, next to his boots.

The more he noticed those little details, the more he wanted to hold you close to him.

But when he finally reached your room after an agonizing ( purposely ) slow pace, it was time for you to properly rest.

So he placed you on top of your mattress, heart fluttering when he saw your little stretch on the bed. He enveloped your body with your blanket, mimicking your pleasured smile when he did so.

If only time could stop right now

He closed the curtains so the light didn't disturb your well deserved sleep like it did to him and then he sat down next to your bed.

Thankful for having a cure for his illnesses.

207 notes · View notes

windslar · 4 months

Text

Happy day-after simblr appreciation day!

Last night, I started working on tagging simblrs that I'm inspired by and simblrs that I'm always happy to see interacting with my posts in some way. And these two circles are basically one and the same (so thanks, friends!) Tumblr wouldn't let me tag all of you in one post, so I had to split it up in two. Also, I'm going off memory so I'm sure there are people I'm forgetting but know that if I follow you, I appreciate you and the talent and enthusiasm you've shared with this community.

As some of you may remember, I took a break from simblr in the spring of this year. My personal life went from an all-time high to an all-time low by the time summer rolled in. Grief engulfed nearly every aspect of my life to the point where I felt like I was putting on my brave-face mask out in the "real world". I returned to this game and this community as an escape -- a distraction from the loss that seemed so prominent. But every time I played this game, or scrolled through tumblr and caught up with people's stories and gameplay, I felt like the grief was less noticeable even just temporarily.

There's the analogy of grief as a bouncing ball in a closed box. The box has a pain button inside of it and in the immediate aftermath of the loss, the ball takes up the entire space of the box, triggering the intense emotions associated with grief. As time goes on, the ball gets smaller and the ball doesn't always press on that pain button. This game and the simblr community helped make that ball feel smaller in the immediate aftermath of my loss. And I know it sounds kind of silly, but when you're confronted with something so unimaginable that you can't even begin to process, you can't belittle anything that helps you cope or brings you peace.

So that's why I'm so thankful for having this space to share our pixels and stories. Seeing the creativity as I scroll through my dashboard, I'm constantly inspired by how we all turn this game into our own little escape (even when we deliberately cause chaos for our sims -- better them than us, am I right?). I wish everyone good health and happiness in the new year, and I can't wait to see what you all bring to the dash in 2024.

Part 1 of 2:

@thebramblewood, @lexieslaysims, @akitasimblr, @elderwisp, @inspiredsimmerx, @moonfromearth, @igglemouse, @cowplant-snacks, @deehya, @duusheen, @aurorangen, @aliengirl, @strawberry-nia, @sweetbeagaming, @marsosims, @rebouks, @birdietrait, @squea, @pleuro, @cowboycid, @natolesims, @nihilismtrcit, @m0ckest, @jonquilyst, @machinegrl, @panterabsims, @folkbreeze, @forest-void, @peonypyxels, @warmsol, @wolfavens, @softerhaze, @wrixie, @cinamun, @gunthermunch, @thaplumbob, @fizzytoo, @simelune, @memoirsofasim, @plumdale, @spurgees

#simblr appreciation #simblr gratitude #personal #text post

113 notes · View notes

a-s-levynn · 2 months

Text

I'm terrified to post this. So watch me sprinting away into the distance after dropping this.

Open love letter to -in extension to the wider ST community on tumblr, but especially- to the fellowship of Sleep because without you, life would be much more lonely

My Friends,

It was today when it finally dawned on me that you gave me the most undescribably precious gift. Many of you probably going to relate to this to some degree because i am not unique in any sense but i had to get this out. And by just the sheer lenght probably not many of you will read it. But i still need to put this out there, even if i'm being obnoxious and probably sound overdramatic and maybe even cringy.

I struggle with a lot of things. Anxiety, self doubt, depression, paranoia, self destructive tendencies, self isolation and the list goes on to even darker places. All in all i have a suboptimal mental state to put it lightly. I feel inadequate in many ways. Especially with connecting to people.

To this day, i struggle every day, seeing my friends, you, talk on a daily basis, have inside jokes and wonderful conversations and whatnot and either i like it or not, thoughts intrude: "am i doing enough? Am i a good enough of a friend? Do i really have a place among these wonderful bright souls? Am i intruding? Am i inserting myself into spaces i do not have any right to be? Am i forcing myself into your circles?"

For the longest time, on most days the conclusion was no. I do not belong. You were just being nice to the pathetic little creature in the corner because by nature you are simply kind. But as the weeks went by i learned that you are also awkward people with your own stuggles and hardships which are far harder and more painful than mine. That you are choosing to be kind every day, in spite of what life threw at you. Because you know.

I started to see you also crave a particular type of companionship and you reach out with the same trembling hands, hoping that someone sees it and grabs it. That someone finally says: you are not alone. I am here. For you. With you.

And you did. You've seen a bunch of hands fumbling in the dark, desperate to hold onto something and went: yeah.. i think i'll grab all of them. Because we are coming from the same darkness. And if i can help pull you into the light than you might have the strenght to do the same for me, so we can all sit in the warmth of the fire. The fire we built together. A fire that is growing ever brighter and allowes us to see even more hands on the edges to be pulled and invited into the circle.

So we have. For a while sitting almost silently, showing the things we found along the way. Tentatively feeling out the boundries. Than we broke the silence. You even started to call me your friend at some point. I already considered you mine because i'm painfully lonely and just the gesture, that you included me among the hands you grabbed was enough for me to see you mine. But all in all, for some unknowable reason, we became friends.

The weeks turned into months and i felt a bit more comfortable to approach you on my own clumsy and awkward ways. Many of you know by now that Tiny Token was born because i was too afraid to send a happy birthday ask to someone. I still apologize regularly just for adding thoughts to posts even if i only do it in tags. I am afraid. Of so many thing.

We still don't talk daily. Yet we still call each other friend. We have actual plans now. I still stuggle with the though of not being enough. There are still days when i feel you just feeling pity towards me.

But lately there is an other thought there. Which makes me feel bad for thinking that way. A thought that's never been there before. "If i was truly bothersome or annoying or any way too unpleasent, you could simply walk away. This is the internet after all. You could just block me. You have the option to walk away but you are time and time again choosing not to. No matter how many days pass by with us not talking, you are there. I can count on you. I'm still hesitant to reach out and dump my superficial adversities on you. But i also see you keeping the door ajar, leaving the option there to be approached if anyone needs it. So it would be not just a disservice but an outright insult to you if i'd think you are just acting out of pity. But if you like me than.. there has to be something about me to actually to be worth knowing?"

And that is doing something that ten years worth of failed therapy could not. You made me question my self doubt. It is still there and will be for the rest of my life. But now there is a steady counter balance i never had this solidly in my life ever before.

I'm still afraid to ask even if anyone would be up for a talk, let alone a call because i have little to offer in conversations. I don't talk much by default and that is not a good base for conversations. I'm still terrified of overstaying my welcome. But i also know now that you probably wouldn't mind from time to time. Because you understand. Maybe one day i will get there. I don't know when but there is a hope i never truly had before.

This is something i will never be able to repay you. Thank you for understanding that we all have different levels of anxiety and fear and not holding it against one and other. I'm writing this to you with immens love and eternal gratitude i cannot truly express in any way that does it justice: Thank you for showing me hope. Thank you for being the way you are.

You gave me the biggest gift there is to give.

You gave me your friendship.

I love you.

Yours in friendship,

Levynn

#i know this is long and probably will annoy some people on the dash but this one i refuse to hide under a cut #so i'm just posting this and inelegantly running away immediately in terror to check back hours later

80 notes · View notes

fieldofsecretss · 1 year

Text

!1k SPECIAL!

Theme: all of the above, you might’ve to sit down for this loves, it’ll be very very veeery long, grab a drink and a snack or something ; )

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Female!Reader

Warnings: This will contain SMUT, [18+] themes, FLUFF, dark DARK subjects and stuff, maybe a bit ANGST

[this little celebration fic will have multiple fics in it]

A/n: feel free to skip this speech and just jump straight into the fic below the cut, but I’m happy if you’d like to read it anyway <3

I remember when I was jumping and squealing in happiness when I reached 100 followers. A year ago I posted with zero expectations and yet here I am with 1000 beautiful people following MY blog and reading MY work🙄 first of, why? But let’s be positive here!

I know I haven’t been as active as I’ve promised y’all to be, but I’m trying my best, believe it or not but I have a life outside tumblr too😂 I’m trying my best loves <3 anyway if you’ve read this, thank you for being patient with meeee!

——————————————————————

His head cocked to the side as his eyes marveled over all of the...things laid out before him. He couldn't seem to understand the numerous brushes varying in designs and sizes. He was confused by the small black container with a circle containing some sort of pink powder. Draco had absolutely seen makeup before, but he never knew how extensive it was, he had only ever seen some lipstick and eyeshadow tops!

"What are you looking at, Love?" Your voice called out when you entered the bathroom smiling, to see him staring at your makeup laying on the countertop.

"Is ALL OF THIS your makeup?" Draco asked shocked, not believing that there could possibly be more.

You smiled quite sweetly.

"Some of it, yeah. Haven't you seen makeup before?" You giggled, feeling entertained by his surprise.

"Of course I have. I've never seen my mother without it on, but this is so...fascinating." He drawled, sitting down in the chair in front of your makeup mirror.

You watched with content as he studied the things that stood out to him, answering most of his questions when he had them.

"What's this for, y/n?" He wondered, picking up a metallic-pink tube of mascara.

“See how long my lashes are?" You pointed out, batting your thick black lashes so he could see the effect.

He raised a brow at that, setting down the tube and continuing to rifle through your stuff, you couldn’t help but compare him to a little raccoon. You went on to explain how blush went on your cheeks for a rosy glow, and how the bottle of setting spray kept everything in place the whole day. He was perfectly amused and amazed at how much time went into your makeup routine everyday.

A radiant grin spread on his features when he suddenly spotted something familiar.

"Now I know what this is." He announced, holding up your favorite lipgloss.

It was a light, pinkish-peachy shade with small sparkles that he knew you wore almost everyday. It was also his personal favorite on you...it was cherry flavored too, so that’s a plus.

"Oh, I know you do," You smiled, "Actually, would you mind handing it to me? I need to touch up a bit."

Draco, though, didn't hand it over.

"Can I...put it on for you?" He requested, playing with the wand of the tube, listening as it make sticky sounds.

You beamed as you sat on the counter, prompting him to stand up to be level with your face.

"Go for it." You granted.

The young Malfoy couldn't hold back the small smile as he dragged the lipgloss across your lip, his eyes narrowing a little in concentration.

Draco was surprisingly good at it, his steady hand creating an even layer of lipgloss on both lips. Not too much and thick not too little. You rubbed them together when he was done, popping them dramatically when he stepped back to look.

"Pretty?" You asked when you saw the satisfaction on his expression.

He cupped your face with his slender ring clad hand, looking into your y/e/c eyes that he loved endlessly.

"Pretty."

You pressed your lips onto his in a sticky lipglossy kiss, leaving his lips with some sparkly lipgloss on them.

“now you’re pretty too!” You said happily as you wiped his lips with your delicate fingers

——————————————————————

Draco was sat down on the couch in the Slytherin common room with a lit cigarette in between his ring clad fingers, inhaling a deep and slow drag of smoke every once in a while. With him was Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle. Just talking shit about Gryffendoor’s, a normal Saturday...basically.

While they rambled on and off about boring shit the door opened and in came a walking y/n, makeup natural but still refreshing and wakening. A white crop top with a blush pink unzipped jacket and jeans. A sight for sore eyes as Draco would say every time he saw you, his loving girlfriend.

“Well hello there, love” Draco greeted you as you plopped down onto his lap. You looked up at him and pouted, he raised one eyebrow.

“Kissie, please” you said closing your eyes, and soon his lips crashed on yours and his large hand cupped your jaw per usual. Gods you’d die for him without a second thought. He tasted like smoke and mint, him you thought. Suddenly his tongue swiped over your lower lip, smudging your cherry lipgloss earning a irritated groan from you while you pulled away. You patted his cheek making him chuckle a little.

You pulled up a little pocket mirror so that you could apply a new coat of lipgloss when you heard a high pitched giggle. You put down your mirror and looked up in front you, raven black hair, yup. Of course it had to be Pansy fucking Parkinson.

“Well, well, dracie. Still together with that bitch I see, I’m genuinely shocked that you two are together still. I mean you can do so much better than...that” Pansy mocked while giving you a disgusted look.

Before Draco could open his mouth to even talk back you interrupted him with a rather calm voice and a mocking smile.

“You hate on me but are still watching? Honey you’re a fan” you snapped leaning back on Draco’s chest while laughing sarcastically. Draco knew he never had to defend you but he’d never sit down and watch his girlfriend take shit from a attention seeking prick like Pansy, but he knew you hated it when he interrupted your and Pansy’s famous fights.

“You’re just jealous that i fell for y/n instead of you, move on!” Draco sighed loudly.

“Oh please, jealous of that skank? No thank you, I mean look at her! She’s a bitch that has too much confidence! What do you even see in her? She’s not even pretty, she’s not even skinny enough and not to forget that she’s a fucking brat” everyone could see Pansy’s blood boiled.

“She’s fucking perfect, not common trash like you Parkinson, her body is perfect, the prettiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t seek for attention like you” Draco said kissing your cheek.

“I mean yeah. I love my curves, my imperfections, my jiggling thighs, no one said you have to. If you low-key don’t like me, I highly don’t care. Queens don’t compete with hoes, sweetie” you said in a singsong voice. Then everybody in the room started laughing except Pansy who speed walked out in anger.

You turned around to face Draco with an expression of victory.

“Y’okay, love?” He asked rubbing your cheek with his thumb and eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Some people are like clouds you know, when they disappear, it’s a brighter day” you giggled in response and nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck.

“You are a genius, love” he said while tickling your waist making you squirm and laugh until you heard a cough.

“We’re still here y’know?” Blaise said at the couple.

——————————————————————

Draco’s POV

I’m hanging out with my friends when I hear shouting. I look up and see y/n, my enemy, arguing with a gryffindor girl.

It looks like the gryffindork is loosing this battle. Suddenly her, what looks like her boyfriend, stands up and pushing the gryffindor girl behind him.

He’s now shouting at y/n. I clench my fists and stand up.

“Where are you going?” Blaise asks. “I have priorities” I reply simply.

I make my way over to y/n and snake an arm around her waist and pulling her towards my chest.

“If you don’t stop yelling at my girl, I’ll make sure you’ll never talk again” I say coldly.

The guy goes to say something back but the gryffindor girl pulls him away from the scene they created.

Y/n turns around and gives me a grateful nod making me chuckle.

“I know some other ways to thank me, love” I whisper in her ear getting flashbacks from last night, all I could hear was her beautiful moans and pleads of pleasure

——————————————————————

Draco’s hips slammed in and out of your tight cunt with an inhuman pace; his chest is draped across your front, arms up and around your back and holding you flush to him, skin to skin, sweat against sweat. You’re absolutely gone as he pounds into your wet and sensitive pussy. You’re too cockdrunk to even react to his harsh thrusts, although every snap of his hips pushes you closer and closer to the release you so desperately need, you’d do anything to just have an amazing and breathtaking orgasm.

Draco’s pace gets slower, deepening until the head of his cock is nestled almost painfully against your cervix. His cock felt so much bigger than usual, you think absentmindedly — the way he’s pushed himself so deep into you, so far into you has you squirming. This was sex in a whole new level.

“shh, shh, bunny. Gonna stuff you so full of my cum, alright? gonna make you feel so good. Gonna give my pretty princess a baby. Would you like that? you want daddy’s baby?”

“yes, yes daddy, please. I want it, I-I need it,” you whimper, you could practically not think, just blabbering and clawing at his chest. Draco pushes your knees against your tummy making your knees touch your tits, revelling in the way your puffy and abused pussy swallows him whole, folds hugging him tight, sticky wetness oozing out around his cock. Your expression is dazed, fuzzy, jaw slack and hooded eyes, shedding tears of pleasure.

“Okay, bunny” he groans, “gonna fill you right up, and you’re gonna take it all like a good girl.”

He collapses, resting all his weight on top of your pathetic body, pressing your back into the bed. You can feel his cock twitch inside of you and then a pleasurable warmth floods your insides. Draco lets out an almost pornographic moan, forcing himself back up, regaining the strength, to angle your hips upwards. when he pulls out, your hole gapes and shrinks. you feel empty - too empty - after being stretched by his fat cock. you inhale sharply, gripping Draco’s forearm tightly.

he uses two fingers for scooping the steady stream of cum leaking from you and push it inside your sensitive hole again.

“daddy, too much. Please, please too much,” you whimper, your cunt is far too sensitive and the added pleasure is bordering to pain. Draco groans, pinching your nipple making you squirm and whine.

“stay still. gotta keep it in, princess. make sure it takes, hm? you’re all messy.” he tilts your hips at a steeper angle. “Such a messy girl…my messy girl, isn’t that right, princess?” He said in a husky voice.

“Mm, yes daddy. M’only yours…”

“Wanna hear you say it. So so.” He prodded and you gave in of course.

“Only your messy girl, daddy”

——————————————————————

“I’m gonna fill this little cunt of yours with my cum, okay? And you’re gonna take it, no whining and most importantly, no moving.” Draco ruts into you from behind, arm slung around your waist as he empties his load into you, making you writhe around from the fact you were still on edge, having not hit your high yet.

“All in due time, m’love. I’ll make you feel good, just wait a little bit longer.” He presses wet kisses to the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he drags time on, wanting to make sure he’d done enough to get you pregnant with his child.

Draco slowly begins thrusting into you again, low squelches emitted as you start back on the path to tipping off the edge, needing your own pleasure to hit you already.

“See baby, that wasn’t so bad. Now just breathe, and let me take good care of you..after all, this may be one of last times we can do it before that baby in you starts growing.”

——————————————————————

“So…how was your date?” Draco asked you, his jaw was clenched and he couldn’t find himself to keep eye contact for longer than a second you noticed.

“Oh, yeah. Fine I guess” you answered while fidgeting with your bracelet on your left wrist. Yesterday you went on a date with a guy named Johnny, you knew him from some of your classes. He was a Gryffindor, quite popular actually. Known for being good looking and a girl magnet, but recently he’s been thirsting over you for some reason.

For weeks he’s been trying to get your attention, flirting and holding books and doors open for you. You didn’t like him, you just couldn’t see the hype about him, he was an asshole after all. A snobby kid with social issues who thinks he’s the best of the best, of the halfbloods.

Draco could say the same within a heartbeat.

But when he asked you out on a date, you just said yes for him to leave you alone afterwards. The start of the date was going okay-boring but not horrible. You had some dinner and talked, but he didn’t even give you a chance to speak, he was selfishly rambling about his fortune and girls that wished that they had your place in that moment. Let’s say you couldn’t wait to tell Draco and laugh about all of this shit. But the night took a weird turn when he found out you were a virgin…he insisted to change that for you.

“You sure? You’re acting the opposite” Draco pondered, he knew you and all of your behaviors.

“Uhm, can I ask you something? It’s like very very personal so please don’t be weird about it, dray” you said while you took a deep breath. He looked at you with disbelief.

“Y/n, you know you can ask me anything. We can tell each other anything and everything without feeling judged” he huffed out. You just nodded.

“So? Go on!” He said impatiently. He wouldn’t dare to say it out loud, but he loved that you only told him

about your problems, he loved the trust.

“Is…is sex supposed to…hurt?” You almost whispered. Draco’s eyes widened at the question, he was prepared for you to ask him about something…less sexual. You didn’t dare to look at him. Did he hear you right?

“Sorry, come again?” He asked as he put all of his focus on your words. You sighed, now it just got weird

“I said, is sex supposed to be that…painful?” Your cheeks were burning hot and your palms were balmed.

“No…! absolutely not, did that halfblood do something he shouldn’t have done?! I swear by Merlin’s beard tha-“ Draco was visibly upset.

“No-no! I agreed to do it. It’s just that it didn’t...- everything happened so fast and it was nothing like I pictured it, and I regret it so much! I wish I could’ve saved my first time for someone special, not with some snobby bloke against a wall in a restroom” you frowned when you saw Draco’s shocked face.

“First time? I’m sorry it was that bad y/n.” He said giving you a sympathetic look. Suddenly a light bulb appeared above Draco.

“I can show you how it’s supposed to feel like, if you want of course” Draco prayed you’d say yes, he’d take such good care of you...but he’d absolutely never force you. Never ever.

You laughed humorlessly, but you stopped when you saw his neutral facial expression. You thought for a second...was he serious?! Is he joking?

“You mean that?...”

“Of course I do.”

“....O-okay.....” you flusterly agree

“No none of that, you’ve gotta tell me y/n...do you want me to show you, really? I want to hear you say it..I need to hear you say it and mean it” he stood close to you, you could feel the warmth radiate from his body.

You look up at him to look him in his beautiful eyes...you nod.

“I want you to show me Draco”

(This one sucked though)

——————————————————————

Hot silent tears danced their way down your cheeks, leaving a black-ish trail of mascara under your eyes. You were tense.. your shoulders trembled and rattled through every deep breath you took, you were almost dizzy while you briskly walked. You were headed to the only place you felt safe. The only place you felt the most accepted and cared for, Draco’s dorm.

The walk there was long and risky, filch could catch you at any moment, it was a 50/50 chance. You were bound to get there though, because this couldn’t wait. You could’ve waited until the next morning, but you hoped the icy air in the hallways could calm you down a bit, which it did to a certain degree. Finally nearing his door your breath mellows out a little bit while you sniffled through the fast tears. You know the moment you see him everything is going to come rushing back to you again, but for now you find an eye in the storm. When you lift your gaze from your shoes you were right in front of the dark wooden door you were oh so familiar with.

Taking a big breath, you lifted you fist and knocked four times-for good measure. No matter how many times you’ve been there doing the exact same thing, this time it felt extra loud as your knocks echoed in the airy building. You heard shuffling from the other side, you lifted your hand and focused on your knuckles, feeling yourself starting to drift into your own mind. Before you venture too far into your own mind, the hinge of the door opened, bringing you back as you gaze upon those beautiful metallic eyes of his.

He immediately absorbs your appearance. Each emotion of concern, worry and shock spread across his features.

“Love, what’s wrong? Are you alright? What are you doing here this late, you could’ve gotten spotted”

Each question of his whirls past you, overwhelming you and simultaneously easing the ache in your bones just by hearing his deep voice.

You immediately tackle him into a hug, nuzzling your face into his casually clad chest. A white t-shirt he opted to wear for the night.

His body reacts faster than his brain as he expands his large over your back, protecting you from what seems to be bothering you. The deep rumble in his chest indicates he’s starting up his interrogation again.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” His voice firm yet gentle.

“I-I’m fine, I just-well..” your voice slightly muffled by his shirt but his attentive ear catches them.

“Come on, let’s get you inside, yeah?”

“Yeah ok..”

He slightly breaks the embrace to gently lead you into the familiar second ‘home’ and leads you to sit down onto his tightly made bed.

Still holding onto your shoulders he sits you down onto the dark green covers of his bed, he leans his body closer to yours, meeting your eyes as he ducks his head a little to be in eye level. He scans your face, the worry evident and unmoving. Yet he waits for your words..

“I have no idea where to start, dray”

“And that’s okay, take a deep breath and relax. Can you tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He asks softly, almost uncharacteristically softly.

At the moment you just think of how gentle he is with you, how he is the rock in your life.

“I’m thinking of you…a-and how gentle and loving you are towards me” the tears now again making their appearance known by rolling down your cheeks. But this time his ring clad hand catches the tears before they fall.

“I-I came over because I need you Draco...I needed my Draco because I don’t-.” your breath catches in your throat as you fight the lump resting there “because I don’t have anyone else I can tell this to”

His hands found yours. He nods along with your words. Really absorbing every word that leaves your plump lips.

“Okay baby. You know I’m always here for you and I’m glad you can trust me this much, whatever it is you can tell me”

“I know” you say giving him a watery smile. He waits patiently for you to begin to talk again, anticipating every word. You take a deep breath and sigh.

“I just couldn’t hold the weight of this anymore, dray. It’s too heavy for me”

“What weight, love?” He asks as he feel his heart starting to sink

“Me being...” you pause, the word catching on your tongue. This was it. The moment that had driven you mad. Made you feel like a freak. The real reason you felt like an outcast, and outsider. The truth you’ve been harboring for years. You had suppressed it, not realizing until you got older and your brain got more developed, you’ve run from it but now your legs were tired. The fear that held its grip on you was about to unclench now, with him..your Draco.

“I’m bi-bisexual, Draco”

The words hang in the air, the world felt as it zoomed in on the two of you.

“Oh sweetheart…I’m so proud of you. I love you, thank you for telling me”

“Oh Dray, I love you too and I don’t want you to think that I’m not committed to you or-“ he cuts you off mid ramble.

“No Sh sh sh, love I wasn’t thinking that”

“Okay” you replied.

There’s a beat while you two process what had been said, so you continued to explain what lead you to come out to him.

“So I’ve been dealing with this for a long time...I-it’s just..it’s been heavy on my mind lately and was getting too much to hold in”

He nods, acknowledging how vulnerable you are this very moment.

“Tonight it just bubbled up and eventually spilled over I guess..” he hangs onto every word you say.

“I received a letter tonight and I snuck out to see you because my parents...they-“ you feel yourself begin to choke up as you think of their harsh words.

“Breathe y/n, it’s okay you got this” he comforts.

“They said some really nasty things about gay people and I had to pretend it didn’t affect me at all, but when I was alone and read the letter and those things they said I just broke down, I just lost it” tears run down your face in a fast pace, your hand begin to shake in pent up anger, sadness and pain

His grip on your hands became firmer, he grounded you, encouraging you. He leaned his forehead against yours, brushing his beautiful nose against yours in a loving gesture.

“My beautiful girl, so strong..I’m so incredibly proud of you. And I’m so sorry your parents are pricks”

“But that’s the thing Draco, you’ve met them and they aren’t necessarily bad people but-“

“They are idiots”

“Yeah…you’re right..they are.”

Draco now feeling more protective of you than ever says,

“How dare they make my sweet girl feel this way, huh? Wait until my father hear about this shit” he looks into your sad eyes.

“You’re perfect to me, if being bi is who you are, then it’s who you are, love”

You give him a little smile which he reciprocates happily. You were convinced he was an angel sent down to you. How divine it was having someone loving you for you.

“Thank you Draco, I love you”

“Of course, I love you too y/n”

You give each other a shy eyes, he starts to lean in before stopping close enough for you to feel his minty breath on your lips.

“This okay..?” He ask for your permission

“Always, dray” you breathe out and your lips connects in a bruising, loving and emotional kiss..

And then it was sealed...

——————————————————————

“Baaaabe.” You heard Draco moan from the bedroom. You sighed slightly and turned the heat down on the soup you were heating on the stove before making your way into the room. You leaned against the doorframe as you looked at your boyfriend from his spot in the bed. He was laying with all the pillows and blankets he could find and was completely bundled up. He was sick with a really bad cold and you had offered to come over and help take care of him. You just weren’t expecting him to be so demanding about it. Or no, you actually did. It’s Draco we’re talking about.

“What do you need, dray?” You sighed, he had been calling you back here every few minutes since you got here an hour ago.

“I’m lonely.” He pouted, jutting his bottom lip out for emphasis, his voice strained from being congested. Gray eyes a little red and watery.

“Lonely? How could you possibly be lonely? I’ve been in here every 5 minutes.” You said slightly exasperated.

“But you don’t staaay.” He whined. You smirked at that, who knew the scary and mean Draco malfoy, one of the sacred 28 was such a baby when he was sick? Not you, that’s for sure.

“How can I stay if you keep sending me to get you stuff?” You shot back, not able to keep away the amused tone from your voice.

Draco thought about that for a moment, obviously the sickness was not making him think as clearly as he wanted. “I don’t know, but you need to do both.” He said with a grin, obviously playing around

“Well how about I finish making you the soup you asked me for and we can snuggle a little while you eat? I can even play with your hair like you like. Okay, you big baby?” You offered, rolling your eyes. You saw his tired expression brighten slightly at the suggestion

“Okay! Thank you.” He responded, coughing slightly from the excitement. You turned to walk away before Draco stopped you. “And baby? I love you.”

You smiled at him, the sweetest smile you could put on, before, “I know.” You laughed as you walked out of the room and down the hall.

“Bunny?!” Draco exclaimed loudly, coughing again. “You have to say it back!” He yelled as loud as he could at you, voice raspy. Only your amused laughter (bordering on a cackle) was your response.

You walked back in a few minutes later to a very pouty boyfriend, you walked over to him and passed him the soup before getting in the bed next to him. “Eat up, baby. It’ll help you get better.”

“Not until you say it.” He said petulantly. You laughed lightly and ran your hand through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp at you did. You didn’t miss the small content flutter of his eyelids at your motions, smiling softly to yourself.

“I love you too, pretty boy.” You said adoringly. “Even when you are a pain in my ass.”

Draco beamed at you, “Good, ’cause I plan on being a pain in your ass until one of us dies. So get used to it.” You laughed loudly at that, not missing the butterflies you felt. You couldn’t wait for forever with this wonderfully ridiculous man. “Honestly, I could have died and the last thing you said to me was ‘I know’ when I told you I loved you? Who do you think you are?”

“Okay okay, calm down big boy. I’m sorry, I love so so very very much!” You said and gave him a big smooch on his lips, not caring if you’d get sick too.

——————————————————————

With a smirk donning on his face he said “So, you love me huh?”

“I think it is pretty evident by now”

“Nah I’m not convinced,” he said staring deep into my eyes. I knew what he wanted

I nudged my nose on his neck, licking his earlobe slowly as his breath hitches

“Tell me daddy…how can I convince you?” I almost purred, voice breathy and hot.

“Wanna be daddies good girl?”

I whined, his words going straight to my core, making me feel the hot wetness pooling. I loved how quickly and smoothly the dynamic shifts between us.

“Mhm, please daddy…wanna be your good girl-

——————————————————————

Pain, sadness, anger

That’s all you felt right now. You were seated on the edge of your best friends bed, Draco. Sniffles and sobs was all you could muster.

“H-how could I be so fucking stupid!” You said, voice broken and laced with anger...

“It’s not your fault he’s a fucking player, y/n” Draco said while rubbing your back soothingly, in a attempt to calm you down just a bit.

“But I fell for his game, Draco! I didn’t realize how badly he treated me all along, I wish I could’ve just turn back time and fucking kick him right in the-“

“Okay! Okay, I get it darling. No need to get aggressive. I warned you about him everyday, but you would be so stubborn and not listen to a single word I had to say about him.” Draco said and you just looked at him with an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry...” you said full of shame

“For what exactly, darling?” He asked confused as if he had missed something

“For not listening” you answered. And he knew this was so wrong in so many levels, but the way you looked at him with tears decorating your cheeks, a few buttons on your school shirt undone showing cleavage and the way you apologized made his cock harden…

“You have always treated me right and making me realize my worth, I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you this time-“

You were cut off by Draco smashing his lips on yours, you were taken aback by his sudden action at first but soon you returned the kiss. It was hungry, rushed and it were full of…something you couldn’t describe...

He pulled back to catch his breath and look at you for consent. You gave him a encouraging nod. Lips were connected again, he laid you down on the bed and let his hand roam your body. You took the freedom to feel his abs through his shirt and you couldn’t resist to lightly whimper.

“You have been a very bad girl now baby…not listening to what daddy tells you, what happened to the obedient girl who always listened to her daddy hm?” He asked, y/n’s submissive side came to surface immediately.

“M’sorry daddy..” Your thighs rubbed against each other, an uncomfortable feeling in your panties caused by your arousal smearing on your thighs.

“Didn’t ask for apologies, angel” he said and flipped you around so you were laying on your stomach and Draco behind you.

“Ass up baby girl” he said, voice determined and husky.

And you obeyed, arching your back and pushing your ass up. You felt him move and switch behind you, spreading your cheeks apart and pressing his thumb at your entrance.

“So wet f’me already?” He mocked with a cocky smile. He hiked your skirt up to reveal your perfectly built ass...

He gave your ass a rough squeeze making you let out a airy moan. He stopped and pulled you to the edge of the bed. He bent down to give your lower back a kiss before standing up again running his hands along your body.

“I hate to see you cry, angel...” he said. But that’s not true, he took quite pleasure in seeing you cry. Having you tremble and sob was the most goddamn beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

“Sorry I was a bad girl and didn’t listen daddy…” you said tears threatening to fall again.

“Yeah angel, you should be” He wanted to show you what you were missing out while you were busy simping over Zabini who played you around like a show off trophy.

-he wanted to you to be his. No he needed you to be his. He had to prove to you that he owned you, you were his property.

He slipped off your baby blue panties painfully slow.

“Now angel…gonna let daddy put his cock inside that tiny cunt of yours? Gonna fill you up with m’babies til you’re round, sounds good hm?”

The only word that left your mouth was a weak and pathetic ‘please’

You lifted your hips a little and moved your feet a little wider to show how bad you needed him right now. Draco cracked a proud smile. He unbuckled his belt and let it fall to the ground with a sharp thud, making you jolt up a little in surprise.

Soon enough he’s aligned at your entrance, torturing you with his slow actions.

“You’re mine now” you heard him whisper before he forcefully pushed inside of you, he was so big, the sting making you feel like you were on fire. You made grabby hands to show him that you needed comfort

“H-hold...” you said, voice cracking

“What’s that, angel? Wanna hold hands?” Draco mocked in a loving way. You only nodded while a tear slowly danced down your flushed cheeks. He leaned forward and intertwined his fingers with your small ones. Now the stretch was bearable.

He moved in further, ripping a sob out of you while doing so. Now he pushed even more so that he was buried deep inside of you, he was fully inside of you. He gave you some time to get used to the feeling.

Your legs shook, struggling to take all of him. But apparently nothing is impossible.

He groaned and squeezed your hand a firm squeeze to distract you a little.

“So small, so innocent all for me to ruin”

“You sure you can take this, angel?” He asked.

“Y-yes m’sure but you’re so b-big” you answered stubborn as always.

He started to move and at last he started to thrust deep inside of you. He watched as his cock disappeared in and out of your tight cunt. The pain from the stretch was compensated with the erotic and intimate feeling.

Your walls soft like velvet and the wetness he created making him loose his mind on you.

“Bloody hell, angel” he moaned while he threw his head back in pleasure and you answered with moan after moan...

He was so hard and heavy inside of you

“D-daddy-oh” you said in between moans and pants. Your whole body was sore and tired. His hand soon landed where you were sinfully connected and started to rub rough circles on it making electricity shoot through you. Moans increased in volume and your bodies had a thin glistening layer of sweat.

Draco grunted in pleasure, he felt himself slowly loosing control while fucking you in a animalistic pace.

“Your mine, only mine. I’m not sharing...No one can fuck you like I can, fucking Zabini don’t know what he lost!” Draco said while postponing himself in you in a brutal pace.

The double stimulation making the coil in your tummy tighten and bliss flowing in your veins.

Draco feels how close you were, squeezing him like a vice

“That’s it, c’mon cream all over my cock, cum for me angel” he hissed.

You screamed his name while you fell apart-euphoria. Coating his cock with your release, the mere sight of it and with a bias his thick white ropes of cum filled you up to the brim. The feeling making you shiver. He stayed inside of you to make sure to all of his white sin stays inside of you. When he had catched his breath again he pulled out carefully.

He observed how your small figure shook under him, he smiled lightly and kissed your sweaty forehead . He cleaned you up and you two laid together in his bed.

“Your mine now y/n, if you’ll have me. Zabini don’t know what he lost at all, he lost the world right before his eyes, y/n.”

At that a tear fell, not of hurt, not of pleasure but of love. You were so in love with Draco and have always been, but because of your strong bond you thought he just saw you as a good friend. But now he’s proven to you that you are his and no one else’s.

“Hold me closer Draco” you said and he swore his heart just melted.

——————————————————————

WARNINGS:!personally idk but: crying, dark thoughts, mentions of bad relationship with food and body, ED, sh.

Very personalized but I hope it’s okay anyway <3

You were woken up by the golden light caused by the morning sun, the birds chirped their everyday morning song per usual. You turned to your side just to find the love of your life, the one and only Draco Lucius Malfoy. The boy you couldn’t live without, and he could say the same about you. His light snores and relaxed facial expression made you smile a little, knowing that you were his and he was yours.

You decided to let him sleep a little longer and walked out of bed to go to the bathroom to get ready for the day, one of the benefits of dating a Malfoy, private dorm plus a private bathroom!

You brushed your teeth and tamed your hair after a too good night of sleep and some…other nightly activities with your boyfriend… but when it was time to put on your clothes you walked in front of a big mirror, you knew better than to be a brat and complain about your body and yada yada…but how could you not?

You stood only in your underwear, a pair of blush pink panties and a matching brah, you looked at your legs, then your thighs, the old scares on your inner thighs had started to pale a little, giving away a faint glimmer in the light. Then you looked at your forearms, the scares were fresher there probably around a couple months old. You stood there tracing the scares with a blank expression, not noticing Draco in the doorway you just stood in your own dark thoughts. He cleared his throat which startled you making you jump in place.

“Oh, good morning Dray!” You greeted Draco with a warm smile on your lips as usual. He looked at you with a knowing look before he walked in and hugged you from behind.

“Good mornin’ princess, slept good?” He asked and turned your bodies so that you were facing the large mirror.

“Yup! I’m sorry if I woke you up” you said, but the truth was that you had barely got a chance to fall asleep last night, and it was your dark thoughts to blame. But you knew you’d just make Draco more worried about you than he already was, so you sneaked in a white lie together with your warmest most convincing smile you had.

But Draco wasn’t dumb, he could sense your bad lies but decided to let it be and talk about it later.

“Don’t worry baby, just noticed you’re missing s’ all” he said letting go of you and started to get dressed.

Later that day

Lunchtime came fast today, you sat next to Draco at your table as usual. You had a very bad relationship with food and nobody except Draco knew about your eating disorder that you developed two years ago, in your fourth year in Hogwarts. He has helped you through the struggle at dinner time and you were beyond grateful for him.

“I know we have been taking baby steps, but today I’ll challenge you to eat a whole piece of chicken and vegetables” he said while handing you the plate with a little piece of chicken and greens. It wasn’t much for a ‘normal’ person, but for you it was very stressful and challenging…

“N-no Draco, it’s to much” you faced him with a worried expression. But you got calmer once he gave you a reassuring smile and a pat on your back.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll always be with you, let’s do it together hm?” He asked.

You nodded your head, you just wanted to make him proud of you for making progress in this subject. But just when you picked up your fork you heard Pansy Parkinson giggle with her friends a few seats away from you and Draco.

“Look! I think it’s the first time I ever seen y/l/n eat something” she said loud enough for you to hear

“About fucking time, look how her clothes are falling of her body” her friends said, joining her in a fit of cocky giggles.

You dropped your fork as fast as you picked it up and stood up from your seat.

“Y/n, don’t listen to pug face over there! Please sta-“ he grabbed your arm in a attempt to make you stay and finish your well needed dinner, but you yanked your arm away from his grip

“Please Draco, just leave me alone!” You said with a weak tone, your smile was long gone and your y/e/c eyes welled with tears. Draco let go of your arm and watched you hurry out in a horrible state.

He stood up aggressively and looked towards Pansy and her minions with a face red of anger. She just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and arms crossed.

“Thank fucking you for ruining her life! I’ve been trying to get her to eat for the longest time, and just when she was about to take a big step in her recovery you and your brain dead fucking minions tore her confidence and progress down!” He screamed at the raven haired girl, ignoring all the nasty looks he was given by the whole great hall.

“Woah, calm down Malfoy . I am sure she can stand up for herself, the truth lasts the longest. Like have she ever looked in the mirror? Like we wasn’t lying about it”

Pansy said with a gross amount of confidence.

“Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you?...” Draco said while he left the great hall to go looking for you.

Just when Draco opened his dorm room, knowing you never felt at peace in your own. He heard sniffles from the bathroom, he felt panic rise as he thought you’d hurt yourself. He took long and fast strides towards the dark wooden door and knocked.

“Y/n, love? Can you please unlock the door?” He only heard sobs which only scared him more.

“Alohomora” he walked in and immediately found you in a corner with your legs pressed to your chest and head down.

He walked over to you and pulled you in for a warm hug, you buried you face in his chest and let all your tears spill. He grabbed your wrists and examined them, he did the same with your legs. The gesture broke your heart.

Draco saw that his move hurt your feelings, but he had to make sure you were not hurt in any way.

“I’m sorry...” he heard you whisper.

“No stop that, you don’t have anything to be sorry about” he said while his eyes watered knowing how bad you felt now.

“ I-I was going to try to eat but I lost my appetite…” you sniffled. Draco rubbed your back and kissed your forehead with a sympathetic look.

“I don’t blame you princess, I’d loose my appetite too if I saw Parkinson’s pug face” Draco said and was relieved when you let out a little laugh between your tears.

“I just wanted to make you proud. I do want to eat Draco, but it is so hard for some reasons, I don’t want to be this thin believe it or not!” You said and he listened attentive to every word that came out of you.

“I just can’t find myself to eat, and every time you check my legs and wrists a piece of me always dies, because I know its my fault that you don’t trust me anymore. M’sorry” you sobbed out

He picked you up in his arms and put you down on his bed and tucked you in, he gave you a kiss on your cheek, he walked towards the door

“Wait where are you going?” You asked, you thought he was going back to his classes

“Don’t worry, love. I’ll hurry!” He said before he closed the door

Almost 20 minutes later he returned with a tray of different fruits, berries of all different varieties, steaming fresh pasta and a lot of snacks and soft drinks

“What are you up to now, Draco?” You asked as you watched him struggle to close the door with his hands full of things.

He walked up to you in the bed and placed the tray in your lap, he then changed into pajamas pants and a white t-shirt and sat in front of you in the bed with a grin on his face

“ okay princess, this is our plan. You and me are going to eat this pasta together, a also brought fruits and berries because I know you love berries. Then we are going to eat all of these snack while I read to you aloud. Is that okay?”

You just looked at him with so much love so that you wouldn’t be surprised you had hearts in your eyes when you looked at him. You nodded your head.

“Good! You don’t have to eat all of it, don’t feel any pressure because I’ll always be here with you.” He said.

You two ate the pasta together and he was very happy that you ate all of it! And you ate some berries while Draco ate a green apple, of course! Now you laid on his chest while he read aloud, like the cherry on the top he picked your favorite book! He traced small hearts on the exposed skin on your arm and paused his reading to look down at you

“What’s on that mind of yours, love?” He asked, you looked so deep in thought so that he just had to ask.

“You have been amazing to me Draco and I appreciate you so much. But someday you’ll probably grow tired and irritated of my problems, and I want you to know that I don’t blame you if if you do, I get tired of myself” you chuckled at the last part.

“But I don’t know how to live without you, it sounds stupid and dramatic, but it’s the truth.” You looked up at him, he had put his book down and sat himself up against the bed frame.

He grabbed your hands and kissed both of them.

“Y/n, I don’t even want to hear such bullshit, excuse my choice of word but that’s just rubbish! I’ll never in my entire life grow tired of helping you! I could never live with myself if I just left you all alone to deal with those dark thoughts on your own. I need you as much as you need me. I can’t live without you y/n, and I’ll never leave you.” He said while keeping eye contact.

Tears of happiness rolled down from your cheeks.

“Don’t cry princess” Draco said with tears rolling down too

“Now you’re crying!” You laughed as more tears looked like a waterfall in a rainforest

Draco leaned in and gave you a assuring kiss, a kiss that showed so much love it almost overwhelmed you. Yeh pulled away and picked you up and held you in his arms like a baby.

“I’m never leaving you, never princess”

——————————————————————

“wait! Come back! I thought you loved me“ Draco said dramatically to y/n who only needed to go to the bathroom.

“I’m literally just going to the bathroom, Draco, you’re so clingy today” y/n said the last part before she opened the bathroom door, but Draco ran inside the bathroom before she even could register what happened. She walked in too and closed the door after them anyway.

“I can’t even go to the bathroom alone anymore, huh? “ she asked when she sat down on the toilet. He sat down in front of her and just looked at her with heart eyes, even if she was peeing he didn’t care!

“No…y’done now? Let’s go and cuddle…!” He said to y/n when she walked out of the bathroom, to her desk to study for charms. She shook her head to her desperate boyfriend.

“Sorry Draco, but I really need to study right noow...!” She said as she pulled out a pencil and parchment to start her work, but Draco had other her plans. He whined and sighed for literally 10 minutes before he said something

“Y/n? If I can sit on your chair, you could sit in my lap?” He asked while he looked bored at himself in the mirror.

“yeah sure, but you have to behave yourself because I really need to get this done” she said. Draco sat down and pulled y/n in his lap, everything went well until Draco started nipping and sucking on her neck.

“Dray, as much as I love you...you have to stop” he looked at her and hugged her so tight he even got scared to break her perfectly tiny body.

“Sorry love, I just want to be close to you that’s all... had a rough day.” Y/n looked back at her boyfriend and felt quite bad for being so focused on her homework instead of him. But she got an idea!

“I can cockwarm you if you’d like to?” She asked him and his silvery stormy eyes lit up

“Yes, I’d like that thank you” he tried to sound calm but his voice betrayed him.

Y/n chuckled a little when she felt him get hard immediately underneath her. She stood up and took of her underwear so that she only wore a skirt and a black polo shirt. She undid Draco’s pants and lined his now erected cock up by her entrance. She sunk down in his cock and she let out a small groan at the size. Draco did the same, he loved how her velvety walls felt around him…

“Okay, now. Don’t disturb me to much okay love?” She said when they both settled and sat comfortably. Draco felt calm…but he wanted-no, needed more......

—————————————————————-

THERE YA GO LOVES <3

Let me know if any of you actually read all of them! I rewrote a couple of my old fics into this one too!

#sage speaks #draco malfoy smut #draco fanfiction #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy imagine #draco x reader #draco smut #draco x y/n #draco fluff #1k special #fieldofsecretss1k

284 notes · View notes

punkitt-is-here · 5 months

Note

Hello Punkitt! If I'd be making a small indie game and would want to advertise it through Tumblr or show it off, how would you recommend I do that?

Sorry if this is a frequent question not covered by the FAQ, and I know Tumblr might not be the perfect place for advertising anything, but I am curious if there's more to it than just posting updates.

I can't say my answers will be super helpful; I've advertised my games for a while but I think Susan took off primarily because of my fame from my horse art, and not the game itself (altho I am happy with the reception!) A lot of the time eyes on games comes from outside sources finding you, but you can build your "inner circle" by posting in tags that other devs frequent, like RPGMaker or Gamemaker and stuff. I know weird engines like RM2k3 and SMBX have strong communities BECAUSE their engines thrive on creatives interacting, so find some commonalities between you and other devs and try and make friends! And the most important part is not meeting people to advertise; folks can tell when you're just showing up to show off rather than contribute. If you have a good time and engage with fun, fulfilling people, you'll get eyes on your game without having to try very much. :>

For showing off in general, I would say creating a consistent tag so users can scroll through it if they want more, and have a non-tumblr host for the info on your game so folks don't have to log in to see all the cool stuff you make. Gifs tend to do best in my experience, so for stuff like Screenshot Saturday use programs like honeycam (a gif recording tool) to highlight fun little parts of your projects for folks to see :D

#my posts #asks #afamiliarsword #gamedev

64 notes · View notes

radiobelle23 · 2 years

Text

All the KinnPorsche fics that had me in a chokehold - completed recs because I know we all have PTSD from incomplete fics

So here I am after thousands of years of being off tumblr for one reason. KINNPORSCHE. Now if you’re like me and you like to hyper fixate on things, then you know what’s it’s like to spend hours trying the find the best fics to satisfy that boost of serotonin. So here I’ve listed all of my favorite KP fics I’ve read on AO3. Now, I mainly read smut but I do enjoy a little fluff every once in a while so WARNING: I’m gonna list some of the most toe curling, smut filled fics of them all here, some summaries are VERY EXPLICIT. I do read Vegas/Pete and Kim/Chay fics as well but this is primarily dedicated to my two favorite kingpins. Originally this was going to be a complete/incomplete rec list but I then realized it was going to be a monster of a rec page. Anyways ENJOY !

Update 10/1/22: Happy spooky season! Can I just say that I honestly did not expect my little list to blow up like this? You guys all fed into my praise kink, not gonna lie. And some of the authors saw it!?! I am not worthy!!! You all deserve the love!!! I realized I left out a couple fics and I am back to right my wrongs! So any * you see has been added since the orig post date... I might need to make a second list.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kings Tree - LuckyDragon

Summary: Kinn was seven when he woke up one morning to discover a small silver circle on the back of his left wrist.

Chapters: 14/14 Words: 78,474

In the Eye of the Beholder - asleepby2

Summary: Rich, the latest recruit to the main family's famed security detail, has no idea what exactly the two dons have going on and he's determined to find out.

- or -

Kinn and Porsche as observed by an oblivious fool.

Chapters: 3/3 Words: 7,883

tiny spark, mighty flame - BeStillMySlashyHeart

Summary: In a world where the touch of your skin with another could reveal your soulmate, Kinn keeps his collars high and his gloves on. What happens when he's not allowed to do that anymore?

Chapters: 11/11 Words: 29,452

A Little Wicked - midnightsurge

Summary: “There is a way to get her off your back,” Kinn seems reluctant to say. “I don’t know how willing you’d be to go through with it.”

Porsche raises an eyebrow.

Kinn sighs and finally spills. “If she thinks you’re with me, she won’t dare approach you anymore.”

Porsche freezes. He stares Kinn down.

Porsche never pawns the watch. Kinn never kidnaps him. Somehow they still fall for each other.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,146

Paperwork Promises - surrealsunday

Summary: Filing paperwork and tending to the needs of rich, stuffy executives was never Porsche’s dream career, but a job is a job. That job is made a lot less easy – but maybe a bit more interesting – when the boss he’s been avoiding since that very first day in the elevator, gets a lapful of coffee and an eyeful of Porsche. Just when Porsche was getting used to the monotony of the every day…

Executive Bossman Kinn | Assistant Smartass Porsche

Chapters: 8/8 Words: 80,533

fool me once (fool me twice) - perfumes

Summary: Porsche wondered if any of it was real. It sure seemed real at the time, when Porsche chose scissors to Kinn’s rock, when Kinn looked back at him with such devastation. Such love. It felt real when he’d looked up from the fish they’d caught and said: So kind. Why do you keep your smiles to yourself?

Now, Porsche wore handcuffs again. He left them lying alone in his cell. He could barely look at them.

Perhaps, Porsche had only seen what he wanted to see. Perhaps, he had only ever been a replacement to Kinn. Until the real thing came along.

“I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago,” he said. “But I need your help. Will you give it?”

Vegas smirked.

(Or: When Kinn believes Tawan over Porsche, Porsche asks Vegas to help him fake his and his brother's deaths to escape the mafia world. Years later, Kinn visits a small, private beach and orders a drink.)

[Episode 9 Canon Divergence]

Chapters: 8/8 Words: 30,528

Parallel Love - PrinceHeart

Summary: “Do you take Porsche Pachara Kittisawat as your lawful spouse?”

Kinn’s jaw clenched at that, then he reminded himself why he was doing this.

“I fucking do.”

Or where the only solution to bloodshed, violence and disaster between the two mafia clans, is simple. An arranged marriage.

Chapters 20/20 Words: 64,154

between the sheets - DasWarSchonKaputt

Summary: “And who’s that?”

“Oh. That’s Porsche. He’s Khun Kinn’s live-in boytoy. He’s harmless, mostly. Just a pretty face.”

A boyfriend can go so many places a bodyguard can’t. As the threat of a potential leak in their security forces looms large, Khun Korn hatches a plot to place an added layer of protection around his heir presumptive. Enter Porsche, former bartender, current bodyguard, and reluctant fake boyfriend of Kinn Theerapanyakul.

Chapters: 8/8 Words: 70,456

cravin’ - yeetlegay

Summary: It’s only when Kinn is two knuckles deep in Porsche’s ass, his teeth buried in the meat of his thigh, that it occurs to Porsche he probably isn’t that straight.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,847

Trials & Tribulations - rainbowcolored7

Summary: In which Kinn is a renowned lawyer for TK & Associates, as well as a certified bastard, and Porsche is his new assistant who isn't sure whether he'll scald him with hot coffee or fuck him before he decides to quit.

Chapters: 3/3 Words: 26,348

Your teeth round my organs - androktasia

Summary: “Aren’t you meant to finger me?” Porsche asks, breathless, as Kinn smears lube around the rim of his hole. Kinn looks up, pausing his movements, and Porsche shifts slightly, almost unconsciously, as though trying to get him inside.

“Where did you hear that?” Kinn asks.

“I watched some porn,” Porsche says, and Kinn raises an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. He remembers the kind of porn Porsche likes – shrieking women lying back and taking it from coarse, grunting men. “Gay porn,” Porsche clarifies after a moment.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,148

Weak Spot - tessalane

Summary: Kinn nods and clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m – I’m taken.”

“And who is the lucky one?” His uncle snorts, clearly not buying it. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and scans Kinn as if his nephew would say, “ha, sorry, I was just joking.”

Kinn seems hesitant for a moment, but then he turns around and points at Porsche. “It’s Porsche.” He holds out his hand and fakes a smile aimed at Porsche. “Baby, come here.”

What the actual fuck?

Chapters: 11/11 Words: 35,920

give it to ya like you never had it - mirrorofprinces

Summary: “Porsche is extremely close to signing. In fact, he has a final meeting with the execs on Monday morning. The only condition is that he wants to request his first partner, and it’s you.”

Kinn takes a long drink of his whiskey, sets the glass down, and runs his tongue over his teeth. “So you had to meet with me, urgently, to tell me that a beautiful boy wants me to fuck him, thinking I’d say no.” He drums his fingers on the bartop. “Which means there’s a catch.”

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 7,448

right here beside you, i’m still - P1n3appl3_p3n

Summary: When Kinn gets sick, Porsche steps in to lead the major and minor families. They are grossly in love.

In his five months as head of the minor family, this is his first meeting with other clan heads without the weight and presence of Kinn, and to some it probably appears like blood in the water. Porsche much prefers to sit at Kinn's right hand, but he knows he can manage on his own.

His grin is careless, a careful veneer. Time to show these assholes the minor family isn’t one to be underestimated.

“Let’s begin.”

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,869

You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out - aby01

Summary: Feral alphas are devastatingly violent, brutally vicious and absolutely loyal. To have one under your control means great power. Kinn has been looking for his own for years now.

He just didn't think he'd find it in a mouthy beta that tricks him out of his favorite watch.

Chapters: 4/4 Words: 34,025

Note: this is a A/O/B fic, if that’s not your preference genre then skip ahead... But you should really try anything once 😉.

Make Me Come Undone - ahdriking *

Summary: Porsche fucked up. He fucked up badly.These are his consequences. Kinn teaches Porsche a lesson in trust, and being careful what he asks for. Unfortunately for Porsche, some lessons have to be learnt the hard way.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 15,108

give him something to believe in. - Skamtrash *

Summary: vegas and kinn make a bet to see who can fuck their bottoms better. the couples fuck next to each other to see who will win, pure filth ensues.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 4,134

The Things We Do For Love - Hissnoiice - A/O/B fic *

Summary: He loves in the way a Theerapanyakun does. Kinn is his father's son afterall, looking after what is his has been ingrained in him since birth.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 8,021

If You Like Series

like real people do -motherfleckers

Summary: A series of fics set in a fluffy AU where Kinn is a celebrity singer and Porsche is a bartender in a small beach town. That's it, that's all there is.

Works: 2 Words 20,279

speeding through all of these red lights - foreigncars (lunarsoo)

Summary: “I’d like to work for you.”

Porsche didn’t expect his words to draw such an easy laugh out of Kinn. He can’t say he doesn’t like the sound of it, but it’s a little disappointing that he gets to hear it at his expense.

“Why would you want to work for me, Porsche? You know what I do, right?”

- Alternatively, the one where Porsche asks to work for Kinn instead.

Works: 4 Word: 90,539

What I Would Do - TheObsoleteOne

Summary: Kinn was always in control - he had who he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted.

Of course Porsche would end up being the exception.

Works: 3 Word: 36,042

note: author does not have a series summary so i placed the summary for part 1 instead. Part 2 is a Kim/Chay one shot that I found cute. Part 3 as of now is incomplete, hoping the author finishes because I really did like this series. I still placed it on the list because part 1 ended well and is worth a read.

Readers Choice - here's where I gush over some authors

Note: Can I just give a round of applause to the following authors for having multiple works ready for me (and you) to spend countless of hours - and I literally mean hours reading through.

iffervescent

Note: this author also happens to have all of the sexy scenes from the KP novels translated... just saying 👀....

The power in the taking

Summary: They warned him, when he started working for the Theerapanyakun clan. Forget leadership, forget duty to his people, forget all that – they warned him. Kinn Theerapanyakun, clan heir: obsessed with power.

Porsche should have fucking listened.

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 17,005

Public Consumption

Summary: Porsche agrees to be in a gay porno. Kinn doesn't work here.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 13,598

and its VEGASPETE counterpart

Brand Recognition

Summary: Vegas wants his top billing back. Pete likes being on the bottom.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6,910

Sample Tasting *

Summary: Porsche wants Kinn to ask. Kinn just wants the answers.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 10,037

Note: also part 3 of Public Consumption 😉

Intent to Cherish - A/O/B fic

Summary: A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back

Chapters: 4/4 Words: 47,670

Knowing him, knowing you

Summary: They do the threesome thing, every now and then.

Kinn and Tay meet Porsche

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 12,619

Note: Okay so i couldn't resist throwing this Kinn/Prosche/Tay fic in here, so good and so smutttttyyyy

SourwolfZiam

The Crown

Summary: “Your Highness” Porsche greets after opening the door and finding Prince Anakinn standing there. He keeps his voice flat and emotionless as if he was addressing the King or his General. He bows his head for a few seconds, not looking him directly in the eyes as he’s taken to doing the last few months.

Porsche doesn’t miss the way the way the corners of the prince's mouth tightens at his tone.

“Lieutenant General” Prince Anakinn – Kinn – returns, his voice carefully neutral.

Lieutenant General Porsche and Prince Kinn are together and in love, until they aren't anymore.

This is a love story.

Korn is the villain.

Chapters: 6/6 Words: 25,752

Mr. and Mr. Theerapanyakun-Kittisawasd

Summary: The life of the It couple in Thailand, billionaire Kinn Theerapanyakun and supermodel Porsche Kittisawasd.

Works: 2 Words: 8,634

fortunehasgivenup

the undone and the divine

Summary: In the aftermath of battle, all that's left is need.

Need to touch, to feel, to be certain that one is alive and whole.

Kinn and Porsche give in to their need.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,587

but you’re everywhere (yes you are)

Summary: What if Porsche, upon remembering the kiss on the pier, went to Kinn and said that he remembered? What if there was no diamond auction? What if they'd had a different start?

Would it make them any softer?

(No.)

Chapters: 3/3 Words: 92,424

even though you’re not mine, you’ve got that look in your eyes

Summary: "He doesn’t do that kind of thing."

What Yok means when she tells Kinn this: Porsche doesn’t engage in sex work.

What Kinn hears when Yok tells him this: Porsche doesn’t take men as clients.

One day, Porsche is struggling to make ends meet, enjoying the occasional hook-up in the back of Yok’s bar. The next, Anakinn Theerapanyakul is offering him an obscene amount of money to get added to his roster of “friends”.

The money’s good, the sex is better, there’s no way that this can backfire, right?

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 26,805

The One Where Porsche and Kim Are Gym Buddies

Summary: When the Phoenix comes up to Kim at the gym and introduces himself as Porsche, it's only polite to reply. They're both in the fighting circuit after all.

One conversation leads to another and soon they're gossiping about their romantic lives.

Romantic lives being the rich dude who's been railing Porsche into next week and the cute guy that Kim can't help but want to spend more time with.

It's nice having a friend who doesn't know your brother.

Chapters: 2/2 Words: 19,598

Happy reading! I will be making a separate list for the current ongoing fics, hopefully by the time i get started they'll be close to completion. Let me know if your interested in the VegasPete or KimChay list, I dont have as much but still good to spread.

kurtstiel

i'm the one for your fire

Summary: This series is canon compliant with the exception of Kinn and Porsche being in an established Dom/sub relationship.

It will explore various aspects of a Dom/sub dynamic with lots of bratty Porsche and doting but firm Dom Kinn.

Works: 5 Word: 39,660

gone was any trace of you *

Summary: Kinn is looking at Porsche like he’s seen a ghost.

Porsche blinks and the haunted expression is gone, Kinn smoothing it over with something neutral, but there’s still something fragile at the edges of it, like a crystal figurine balanced on a ledge. Kinn’s body relaxes in a way that’s purposefully casual, tucking his outstretched foot back onto the bed.

“You were in the bathroom,” Kinn says. He phrases it like an answer rather than a question

Or: Porsche left Kinn in their bed with nothing but a note. In the aftermath of the shootout, Kinn can't stop thinking about it.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,097

all of me (is all for you) *

Summary: The water has saturated Porsche's white shirt completely, soaking through the vest beneath. The translucent material clings obscenely to the swell of his pecs. His nipples are clearly visible through the sheer material, hard and pebbled, with the unmistakable shape of the metal barbells pierced either side of them.Porsche’s head jerks up to check if he can still hide them from Kinn, but it’s already too late. Kinn is standing across the room, staring in Porsche’s direction, entire body coiled tight like a spring.Or: While Kinn is away on a business trip, Porsche gets his nipples pierced as a surprise for their anniversary. Kinn comes home earlier than Porsche expected.

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 9,940

And

Please leave comments and kudos to the authors, they deserve all of the love and more 💞

***yeah im gonna need to make another list...

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche fanfic #fanficrec #reading is my therapy #thai bl #dont be shy #read at your own risk

650 notes · View notes

undercoverpena · 4 months

Text

my 2023 tumblr top 10

WARNING: I’m going to be mushy about my writing, and celebrate me, if this isn’t for you, scroll past. kindness only.

1. 2,541 notes - Nov 18 2023

BE GOOD, BE QUIET

joel miller x f!reader (tlou)

i’m so blown away by the love this fic got!! this silly idea of a storm, of joel, and here we are. it was the fingers in your mouth wasn’t it... i knew it.

2. 2,495 notes - Mar 27 2023

ABOUT SOMEONE, THAT ISN’T YOU

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

this was such a blast to write, and i still can’t believe a little whump fic from me did so well!! i will say one of my fave lines ever is this: He finds you in the centre of dust and debris.

3. 2,339 notes - Apr 23 2023

AREPAS

javier peña x f!reader (narcos)

my baby. the fic i’ve re-read the most. my beloved. i remember posting this after a mammoth 6 hour editing sessions of it because dyslexia, and then the relief. i went to sleep, woke up, and was like omfg.

4. 2,155 notes - Jul 31 2023

CAN YOU IMAGINE...

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

this was purely me being up far too late, and just being a mush, that then turned spicy. it should be expected now, but then, in july, it was all new for me.

5. 1,662 notes - Jun 9 2023

LATE NIGHT TEXTS SERIES

javier peña x f!reader (narcos)

arepas walked, so LNT could RUN. gosh. this fic. the last couple of days it has so much love too, and i’m so overwhelmed, and happy. but my fave thing about this, it all stemmed from a scene in my head of him picking her up from the airport, combined with the fact i was alone for a week, and here we are. one of my fave things i’ve ever written.

6. 1,634 notes - Feb 26 2023

TAKE ME TO YOURS

javier peña x f!reader (narcos)

stemmed from a prompt, this was meant to be a short thing that quickly got away from me. it was one of the first things i wrote for this man, and i still have so much love for it. the scene of him seeing her in the room, god....

7. 1,612 notes - Sep 17 2023

YOU SHOULD BE MY ONLY GIRL

joel miller x f!reader (tlou)

so this fic is a firm fave for me, because not only was it for my cheese ( @thetriumphantpanda ), but also i had the chance to have @perotovar ‘s work on my fic too. like still, i can’t believe how fortunate i am. i still love this one so freaking much. the stress of me worrying if it was good enough though, didn’t love that so much.

8. 1,564 notes - Jan 3 2023

DON’T

john price x f!reader (cod)

this was the most ridiculously brilliant thing, because i wrote it in a chat to my friend @guyfieriii and she was like POST THIS. and i did, and here we are. to this day, price is still someone i dont feel confident writing, but i will admit this was alright ;)

9. 1,484 notes - Jul 15 2023

CIRCLES AND SQUARES

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

sometimes, some of my best works are when i write them for people, and writing this for mothie was a joy. i also can’t believe how much ghost is in my top ten.

10. 1,357 notes - Aug 29 2023

HOME AND THE GHOST MUG

simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (cod)

this might have been the last thing i wrote for cod before leaving the fandom entirely, and again, i was up far too late, moving a mug of my husband’s, and here is the product of it.

Created by TumblrTop10

#tumblrtop10 #jo's thoughts

41 notes · View notes

gryphis-eyes · 1 year

Text

⊙ Message from spirits

⊙ Welcome to this very simple but (I hope) useful pick a card, I know its been a while and here is my last attempt to get back to tumblr haha.I don’t have more to say , hope you’ll get the message that will light the fire in your !

⊙ How to pick a pile ? There are differents ways to do it, you can do a little meditation while thinking about the 3 images, you can also use a pendulum, remember to listen to your intuition while chosing and reading the messages those are general reading so not everything will be for you or it will ask you to interpret it based on your situation

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite, Shakespeare Oracle, Phenix Oracle

⊙ Pile 1 : The Cat

Cards ; 3 of cups, 6 of swords R " Tis true. The wheel is come full circle; I am here. ”

One day things go up and one day things go down, such is the nature of Fortuna’s actions. The cards are showing me those 3 muses singing with their cups full of sweet beverage while on the other side of the reading someone is struggling on their boat, going against this raging river’s flow. Some of you seems to be tired of life, you're always fighting, barely resting while other people seems to roam freely through life. Its not fair isn’t it ? I feel like the main issue here is that you're going through a though period and it affect your mental a lot, so of course our brain’s first move is to look at others and be like ”damn look at them, so happy and relaxed while im in this burning house”. Do not throw yourself heartlessly into this path which seems to be the only one, do not look at other, look at you. You might be afraid to do a specific thing (new project ?) Because others seems to do it better or the idea you got already have been done but listen to me ; nobody is doing things better than someone else, succes doesn’t mean its better it just mean it touch more people but it doesn’t mean it is made of quality. That’s why we always got people talking about underated movies, music etc, nothing is better, things are just different. What matter isn’t how amazing you'll do but rather how you will do it because you are not anyone else’s mind, look at the story of the hero with a thousand faces it has been done so so many times in fictions but people dont always realise it, why ? Because all of those fictions have been done by different people so that’s why lord of the ring is so different from star wars. To be honest I was thinking about telling you to go slower but the phenix cards are really telling you to move and just do it ! Be serious about this project wether it mean actually writing a story and publishing it or starting writing it, you got nothing to lose.

⊙ Pile 2 : The Owl

Cards ; 3 of swords R, hangedman ” for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.To me it is a prison. ”

Ive heard ”a haunted heart” part from on the fence by tv girl in mind while reading your cards. I have no contexte about what happened to you but I can tell that it was a wild ride isn t it ? Sit down my dear its time to rest and listen. Whatever happened didnt happen out of the ”univers” cruelty or a ”blessing in disguise” what happened felt like an attack toward you (from your pov) wether its truly the case or not I dont know but I truly think the cards are reminding you to focus on the present since they are hiding the past from me. Do not search for the why, do not search for a blessing coming from it, what was good what was bad do not try to listen to thousand of readers who will tell you how to act (I mostly got those ”forgiveness” speech that every new ager are repeating). You dont need to focus on that past thing you need to focus on yourself and your needs from the present, not the needs you had 5 month ago. You should let your life calm down, put less effort in the world and put more effort for yourself wether its forcing you to have a self care moment or allowing yourself to have a lazy day or just sit down and do nothing but listen to music. The lyrics from ”after the storm” it carry the whole message im trying to give you. Basically, yes what happened suck but its not an excuse to give up on yourself.

⊙ Pile 3 ; The Snake

The lover, 3 of swords R

" The enemy increaseth every day; We, at the height, are ready to decline.There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat; And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures. "

It's time to risk it all my friend. I have no idea if It's a project, a ritual/spell (I get that most of you are into witchcraft or spiritual thing). See this snake going for the butterfly even if It's small and can avoid the snake’s strike easily, the reptile still go for it. It even look like the snake is using the obstacle in order to jump higher to catch the butterfly. (Idk why I get that you should try to watch samurai champloo). The advice here, is to look at everything that went bad or didn’t work in the past and ask yourself ”why” so now you'll be able to make your action more effective because you have grown a lot since the last time you try that thing or something similar. I feel a big burst of energy so its like everything is here, you just have to act. Like the snake, do not chase your goal or just walk around it until you saw the opportunity. Just go in front of it and strike ! With the Lover I see that this thing is dear to your heart or will light the fire in yourself again. You can do it, you have the power to do so, you can only gain good thing from this situation that will (above of making you happy) will heal something in yourself.

⊙

#pick a card #gryphis #⊙

301 notes · View notes

dani-ya-dig · 1 month

Text

OKAY I FINALLY HAVE TIME SO ITS TIME FOR DANI TO FINALLY RANT ABOUT THE SAM AUDIO!!!

Written as I’m listening to the audio again so I don’t forgor.

I think it’s been out long enough to avoid spoiler but I’m gonna put the cut just because this post is probably gonna be really long.

The beginning of this audio scares the shit out of me not matter how many times I listen to, like he is fucking ZOOMING. At least this time he has a reason to be zipping all over the place. Unlike in his “talking about the future” audio where that motherfucker used vamp speed up the stairs for no goddamn reason

Also I appreciate the fact that Darlin ran into Sam, fully shifted. They hit him first and only then were like “oh yeah I’m a giant wolf rn”.

CHRIST DARLIN! THE MAN JUST SHOWED UP LET HIM BREATHE BEFORE YOU JUMP HIM

Ugh love me a Sam reverse comfort audio. This is DELICIOUS

Circling back to Sam’s tendency to bury his emotions in the moment, and only allowing himself to feel them when he is in a safe space (cough cough Darlin)

“I guess that says a lot about what family is to me” STOPPPPPPP

“Apparently I’ve got a knack for landing myself in shit. And then sticking around long enough to get convinced it’s all I deserve” IM ACTUALLY FUCKING CRYING I HATE IT HERE. HE IS ME FR.

“I. Am not. A Solaire” DAMN RIGHT SAMMY! GET HIS ASS!

Sam kind danced around this part but I noticed it immediately. The way he kind of paused when he talked about William putting giving him a house as a form of trying to make himself more favorable to Sam. Sam worded it as him favoring stability and needing that. But also like… one thing that Sam talks about repeatedly in his playlist is how important the idea of home is to him. And William gives him a house… an attempt at giving him a home, so that the “home” is inherently tied to him in Sam’s mind.

I know it was well intentioned on William’s part but god it feels fucking grimy nonetheless

Sam might not think that William is and evil mustache twirling villain, but I do /j

Real footage of William Solaire rn

“I’m a healer. Not was. Am.” YES THE FUCK YOU ARE SAM!

No because actually Sam is so right. He IS still good. He CAN still help. I’m not 100% on the lord of vampire or how difficult it would be for a vampire of Sam’s age to externalize magic. But it’s pretty damn impressive that he can do what he can do even after his core was entirely replaced. He must have been a STRONG like super strong freelancer for that much of his powers to remain after his turning. But it’s also not just healing magic he can still manage even though that definitely would have been his specialty and the type of magic he studied the most. The other types of magic we have heard of him doing are also cleaning magic and earth elemental magic (WHICH YO???). Like that’s impressive imo.

Also we have all talked about Sam joining Shaw Security on night shift at this point. BUT!!! After Sam talked about how he wanted to be a healer still but only wasn’t because that wasn’t what the house needed from him. I hope that he gets hired on as Shaw Security’s professional healer <33

I don’t know how viable that would be. But I think it could work. I don’t imagine he would be patching up multiple huge injuries everyday so it could 100% work!! GUYS I SWEAR PLEA–

(Erik if you’re spying through your secret tumblr account give me what I want)

Sam will never have to go to another summit again 🤞

NO ONE WILL PUT THAT MAN IN A SUIT AGAIN!! HE IS FREE!

Sam and Darlin are so in love with each other. They deserve to be happy, just for a little bit. I need a moving audio with them. Them just packing up their shit <33

Okay did I love this video. Yes! It was Sam, so like that’s bound to happen with me lmao. But also like it was just nice. I enjoyed it. I hope Sam gets to find more of who he is outside of the house.

But also because my hyperfixated menace ass can’t keep my nose out of spoiler I KNOW THAT SAM BITES DARLIN IN THE BA AND I JUST COSSBDKDBX

Look I get why it happened logistically. It’s been a long time coming, and now that Sam’s out of the house of Solaire, they aren’t going to be facilitating his need for blood bags anymore. So he is gonna need to feed on something. It makes sense.

But I wish that decision like that regarding trauma Sam has around his turning would stop being made in the aftermath of very emotional moments. Like when he decided he was ready to go further with Darlin, I wish it would have come from a place of “Ive worked through everything that happened to me, and I love you, so I really want to take this next step” instead of “I’ve seen so many people die, and I have been reminded how fragile life is, and I am terrified of the thought of not getting to do this”.

Idk maybe it’s just me, but things like that don’t feel like decisions that should be made when you feel like life is crumbling down around you??

Also it brings up the logistical issue of, Erik didn’t explain that to the non-patreon listeners. So like… if it gets brought up in future audios a lot of people are probably gonna be a little confused, since I only know because I snoop through Sam spoilers.

Eh. But all in all, live laugh love Sam Collins and stay livin la vida loca I guess

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted sam #redacted sam collins #sam collins #redacted darlin

37 notes · View notes

irondad-creator-awards · 1 year

Text

And The Fic Nominees are...

Nominations are now closed and the fic nominees are listed below. If you don’t see your nomination it’s because they wereineligible as a previous winner or the story was updated last before January 1st 2021 or they chose to have their works excluded.

Voting will being Saturday 4th with the link posted here on Tumblr. You can vote for your top 5 stories this year in the first round of voting. In the second and final round - Top 10 - you will only be able to vote for one.

The fabulous @asyouleft has compiled this list of all nominess with links this year for your ease of access.

THE MULTI-CHAPTER YOU COULDN’T PUT DOWN

A Decade Away by Shortiethegiraffe

A New Point of View by Waitingondaisies

All Good Things Come in Threes by Bergen

Broken Mirrors and Fragile Things by Evienyx

But Only Hope and Sorrows End by iron_spider

Catch and Keep by Bergen

Catch Your Own Happiness by Truelovetakesawhile

Count My Heartbeats by Katinamoon

Even A Free Bird Is Chained to The Sky by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

Feathersoft by Katinamoon

For We Are Bound By Symmetry by Kingdomfaraway

Forty-Seven Flat by Geekymoviemom

From My Weakness I Drew Strength by Mendeia

I Promise I'll Do Better by 221broadwayiron

Identity Crisis by Kitcat992

If These Wings Could Fly by For_The_Night

Instant Kill Mode by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Irreplaceable by For_The_Night

Not Broken, Just Bent by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

Not So Friendly by Ramble_On

Only In The Present by Mendeia

So Many Things To Say by Happyaspie

Someday (I'll Make It Out Of Here) by The_Color_Pomegranate

Somethin's In The Air Right Now by Natasha_Romanoff_Official

The Chasm Between by TheSleepingOwl

The Hardest Part Is Living (With It) by Unidentified_Oblivion

The Long Game by Niniblack

The Many Adventures Of Iron Dad And Spider Son by Lbigreyhound13

The Simple Life by Niniblack

These Lives We Seek by Beautifullights

These Word Written On My Wrist by Katinamoon

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

What A Difference A Day (Or A Hundred) Makes by Lunasquared

Where There's Smoke by Juiceontherocks

Worst Summer Vacation by Mysterycyclone

You Are My Sunshine by M4rmalade

THE ONE-SHOT THAT THAT HAD YOU HOOKED

A Different Kind Of Heat by Katinamoon

Ace Of Hearts by Ironfidus

Buried Deep by Inkinmyheardandonthepage

Cannolis by Heyitsline

Concentric Circles And Shiny Corners by Geekymoviemom

Count To Seventeen And Close Your Eyes by Winterturtle

Dead In There By You’re Dead In There by iron_spider

Demon In A Bottle by Edema_Ruh

Divergence Point (Chapter 4: Loki Kidnaps Tony) by Mysterycyclone

Fly On The Wall by Kuroi_Tanken

From Strangers To Siblings by For_The_Night

Hair’s Breadth From Death by Olliecollie

Home (Is Where My Heart Found Exactly Where I'm Supposed To Be) by Ironfidus

How To Fire Your Intern Sixteen Times In Three Days by Bergen

Hunger by Katinamoon

I Am Not Worried, I Am With You by Kingdomfaraway

I Get To Love You (It's The Best Thing That I'll Ever Do) by Thetealdragon

I Need You Like A Heart Needs A Beat by For_The_Night

Insist Upon Your Cup Of Stars by Finny3120

Never Meet Your Heroes (They're Human Just Like You) by Marvelousbutterfly

No Patch Job by Buridaino

Pain Relief by Sara (Ctrsara)

Pickle Starburst by Bergen

Shocking! Spiderman's Alien Baby: Friendly Neighborhood Hero And His Hanukkah Blessing by Aggressivewhenstartled

So Much Has Changed by Ephemeralstark

Spider-Baby Protocol by Liliaphant (Seaphire)

Staring Shadows In The Eye by Ironxprince

The Little Things by Crowkag

There Are Fields On Fire And I Lay Burning by Canon Irondad (Tomlinsoul)

Whatcha Got There? by Retro_Memo

You Game? Cake Time? by iron_spider

You Talk Of The Pain Like It's All Alright by SpaceCowBoysFromMars

THE BEST THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES

A Misunderstanding by Woamx

All Things Must Pass by Frogboyfrog

Ashes by Winterturtle

Behind A Photograph by 107thinfantry

Could Roses Bloom Again? by Errorinloading

Drowning In The Whispers by Winterturtle

Every Spider Has Its Day (Prompt 5: Every Whumpee's Needs) by Itsapugthing

His Light by Callie_Caje

Koala Care by Happyaspie

Peter Stark by Ilove_Klance

Should I Go Into The Light? by Happyaspie

Show And Tell by Oriocookie

The Guest Room by Niniblack

The World Wept by Callie_Caje

This Feels Right, So Stay A Sec by Errorinloading

Tony Stark Doesn't Do Naps by Lillylemonbee

THE ONE THAT MADE YOU GASP

A Peter Parker Problem by Spagbol99

All Good Things Come in Threes by Bergen

As Long As You Still Have A Heart by Darksideofmyroom

Can't Part The Sea, Can't Reach The Shore by Forensicleaf

For We Are Bound, Symmetry by Kingdomfaraway

Hold Me Close, If You Dare by Id_Rather_Be_Reading_3

Longing, Rusted by Honeycombclairev

Men Of Iron by Spdrmain

My Father Moved Through The Dooms Of Love by Shetheybrucebanner

Oh Sweet Child, The Things I'd Do For You by Tonystarkissist

Only Suckers Wear Scarves by Bergen

Savoir-Vivre, Or Whatever You Call It by Bergen

The Chasm Between by TheSleepingOwl

The Darkest Hour by Ephemeralstark

The Ghost At The Back Of Your Closet by Niniblack

These Lives We Seek by Beautifullights

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Unconscionable by Hollow_Dweller

THE BIODAD THAT TOUCHED YOUR HEART

A Little Late On The Blood Work by Pixiemage

All That’s Left by Pandaluna

Baby Mine (Dry Your Eyes) by Mainstreamelectricalparade

Continuum by Geekymoviemom

For We Are Bound By Symmetry by Kingdomfaraway

Just Me And All Of My Plain Jane Glory by SpaceCowboysFromMars

One Single Thread Of Gold by Tonystarktrash

Picture Day by iron_spider

Playing Possum by Skeeter_110

Retrieval by Nation_Ustria

Savoir-Vivre, Or Whatever You Call It by Bergen

Teething by Spooderboyandtincan

The Gift by Duskblue & Violettavonviolet

The Long Game by Niniblack

The Simple Life by Niniblack

The Ties That Bind Us by Winterturtle

To Capitalist Christmas And A Pretty Awesome Irondad by Lunasquared

Uncle Obie May Have Lied (And Other Lessons To Be Learned) by Theskeptileptic

We'll Make Butterflies by iron_spider

You're My (Spider) Baby by For_The_Night

THE ONE WHERE WORLDS COLLIDE

A New Point Of View by Waitingondaisies

Chase You Down Until You Love Me by OK_Butwhy1

Dark Matter by Mysterycyclone

Emergency Contacts by Sara (Ctrsara)

Forever And Ever by Thisisnotourlasthunt

Home by Patrochilles_Trash

I’ll Be By Your Side (When You’re Stuck In Place) by Marvelousbutterfly

If You’d Only Listened by For_The_Night

In The Blowing, Cold Wind by Odd_I

It's A Secret To Everybody by Snapdragon_In_The_Snow

Kids These Days by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Mr Parker Declines To Comment by Apisdn

Put It On Speaker by Onlyforward

Quaranteens by Blueh

School Sucks, I Know by Call_Me_Coley

Setting Things Straight by Sara (Ctrsara)

Sick Day Shouldas by Sara (Ctrsara)

Stark Industries Is A Real Place by Sisyphusclimbs

The Person On The Other End Of The Line by Imgoingtocrash

The Stark Legacy by Ironfidus

Ultimate School Pick Up by Coconutknightshade

Undercover Chaperone by Happyaspie

What Makes A Hero by Patrochilles_Trash

Write It On The Skyline by Ironfidus

THE ONE WITH ALL THE OWIES

Addiction by Lanyakea

At The Bottom by Living_Is_Easy_With_Eyes_Closed

Atlas Held by Grumperella

Because They Didn't Want Kids by Swizzlemalarky

Broken Mirrors And Fragile Things by Evienyx

But Only Hope and Sorrows End by iron_spider

Couch Cuddles by Happyaspie

Count My Heartbeats by Katinamoon

Die With The Sun, Live Like The Moon by S0lstice

Equilibrium by Lunasquard

Feathersoft by Katinamoon

Fledgling Avenger by Assayist

Four Times Peter Cheated Death And One Time He Didn’t by iron_spider

Grief Has No Timeline by Sara (Ctrsara)

He’s Just A Kid by For_The_Night

Hold Me Close, If You Dare by Id_Rather_Be_Reading_3

I Am Not Worried, I Am With You by Kingdomfaraway

I Will Always Be A Liar by Natasha_Romanoff_Official

Just A Little Obsessed by Quacks

My Teen Angst Bullshit Has A Body Count by Imgoingtocrash

Not Broken, Just Bent by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

Of Flying And Falling by Polaroid15

Pride And Joy by Canon Irondad (Tomlinsoul)

Someday (I'll Make It Out Of Here) by The_Color_Pomegranate

The Long Game by Niniblack

The Stars The Moon They Have All Been Blown Out (You Left Me In The Dark) by Madasthesea

These Webs We Weave by SpaceCowboysFromMars

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Tumblr Prompt: Villainirondad And Spider-Son by Ironmum

Wherever I Go (I’m Home) by Plqto

Write It On The Skyline by Ironfidus

THE ONE WITHOUT A HOME TO GO TO

A Difference In Husbandry by Happy_Cloud

A Good Reason by Baloobird

Adopt-A-Kid by Waywardkeener

Broken Mirrors And Fragile Things by EvieNyx

Dark Matter by Mysterycyclone

Distracted By A Dime by Happyaspie

First Impressions by Athingcalledr

Gaslighting For Breakfast by Anonymous

Hold Me Close, If You Dare by I'd_Rather_Be_Reading_3

I Am Not Known (If I'm Not Seen Or Heard) by Madje_Knotts

I Want To Be Well by Lemon_Drop_Drabbles

Iron Dad: Coming Home by Jaworley

Make Way For Tomorrow by Hopeless_Hope

No Ulterior Motive by Ob_Liv_Ious_Writer

Please Don't Slip Away by Llovedove

So This Is Christmas… by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

Spider Snark & Mr Stark by Lethewren

The Morning Will Come (And The Dream Stealing Your Sleep Will End) by Winterturtle

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

THE SECOND CHANCE AT HOME

And The Songbirds Keep Singing by Finny3120

As Day Changes To Night by The Spider-Man Alt (Counterclaw)

Even In Sleep, I Seek You by Anonymouss_Writerr

Hold Onto This Grief Dearly Until It Lets Go Of You by Canon Irondad (Tomlinsoul)

Home by Patrochilles_Trash

Home Is Wherever I'm With You by Maicaly

I Promise by Marvelously3000

If We Have Each Other, Then We'll Both Be Fine by Iplaypiano36

My Friends Are Ghosts by Firecracker121

Not Broken, Just Bent by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

Oh I'm Ready (For Whatever Comes Next) by Rotfuchs

Peter's Hitchhiking Guide To The Time Heist by Randomsketchez

So Many Things To Say by Happyaspie

The Hind & The Hart by Coal_Scuttle_Waltz

The Seventh Escape by Bergen

To Melt An Iron Heart by Retro_Memo

Unexpected Brother At Daycare by Yeeter_Parker

THE FIXER-UPPER

(Meet Me In) The Afterglow by Pro_Fangirl

Blue Memento by Bergen

Broken Mirrors And Fragile Things by Evienyx

Count My Heartbeats by Katinamoon

Electric Bugaloo by Nihilego

Equivalent Exchange by Seajelly (Legless_Fish_On_Rollerskates)

Fly On The Wall by Kuroi_Tanken

Hold On To All My Son by For_The_Night

How To Fire Your Intern Sixteen Times In Three Days by Bergen

Like A Waterfall by Oriocookie

Long Story Short (It Was A Bad Time) Or Ais Don't Forget by Peacockgirl

Make It A Good One! by Zippe

Meet You Up There (Where The Path Runs Straight And High) by Bluesweatshirt

One In A Million by Inkonmyheartandonthepage

Roots Before Branches by Disneyn3rd

Somethin's In The Air Right Now by Natasha_Romanoff_Official

System Error: Reboot by Oriocookie

The Other Side by Memoriaeterna

The Ripples They Cause by Linarai

There Is Always One Last Light To Turn Out by Kingdomfaraway

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Watch Over You (Fall Down, Get Up) by Fragmentaryblue

We Got Lucky by The Muses Summer House

Whatever It Takes, Spiderling by Lethewren

THE MAGIC NUMBERS (5+1)

5 Times Peter Accidentally Stuck To Something by Call_Me_Coley

5 Times Peter Leaves Before The Ambulance Arrives (And 1 Time He Can't) by Lillylemonbee

5 Times Peter Scared The Crap Out Of Tony + 1 Time He Scared Everyone Else by Sara (Ctrsara)

5 Times Peter’s Metabolism Screwed Him Over by For_The_Night

5 Times Someone Loved The Paparazzi More Than Tony + 1 Time Someone Didn't by Katinamoon

5 Times Tony Joked About Peter Being Part Spider by Katinamoon

5 Times Tony Reminded Peter He Was Human by Katinamoon

5 Times Tony Stark Found Peter Parker (And The 1 Time Peter Found Tony) by Speakeasyscribe

Break These Bones ('Til They're Better) by SpaceCowboysFromMars

Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited by Kingdomfaraway

I Know How Much You Love Surprises by Opal_Earrings

Mishaps At Midtown by Onlyforward

Ready For Those Flashing Lights by SpaceCowboysFromMars

So This Is Christmas (War Is Over) by SpaceCowboysFromMars

So This Is Christmas… by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

The Stark Legacy by Ironfidus

Variation On A Theme by Bluesweatshirt

With Great Power by Polaroid15

Would You Still Love Me If… by Yellowsunflowerheart

You Caught Me At Just The Right Time (Until You Couldn't) by 14million_Constellations

THE RIPPING OFF THE MASK ONE

A Difficult Choice & "Aw, S**T." by ADGAEA

All Good Things Come in Threes by Bergen

Because Of You by Rootbeer

Devil's Roll The Dice by Ephemeralstark

Flowing With The Melody by Pandaluna

Intern Override by Sara (Ctrsara)

Lost And Found by Pogokitten

Make Way For Tomorrow by Hopeless_Hope

On So Many Levels by Opal_Earrings

Peter Is Worthy (And So Done) by Anonymous

Rhodes Well Traveled by Grumperella

Secret's Out by Celestialseawitch

So Many Things To Say by Happyaspie

The Girl From Yesterday by Finny3120

The Kid Behind The Mask by Inkinmyheartandonthepage

The Same Soul by Katinamoon

These Lives We Seek by Beautifullights

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

You Better Let Somebody Love You (Before It’s Too Late) by Ambivalentangst

You Know What They Say by Patrochilles_Trash

You're Not Insane by Llovedove

THE NAME YOUR RANSOM ONE

Bring Me Some Hope (By Wandering Into My Mind) by Tonystankandthekid

But Only Hope and Sorrows End by iron_spider

Count My Heartbeats by Katinamoon

Did We Come Close To Having It All by For_The_Night

Extraction by Niniblack

Happy Birthday, Enjoy Your Kidnapping by Kingdomfaraway

It's Too Cold For A Kidnapping by Pogokitten

I've Got You, Baby by Thisisnotourlasthunt

Just A Mouse Stuck In A Glue Trap by Spicysauce

Lamb To The Slaughter by Kirac336

Man In A Can by Jinxquickfoot

Money Can't Buy Family by Olliecollie

Order Fulfillment by Sara (Ctrsara)

Return To Me, The One I Love So Endlessly by SuperHeroTiger

The Most Chaotic Of Kidnappings by Onlyforward

The Same Soul by Katinamoon

Very Normal Totally Regular Human Intern by Winterturtle

Worst Summer Vacation by Mysterycyclone

THE SOMETIMES-HAPPY FAMILY ONE

Are We Out Of The Woods Yet? by Bluesweatshirt

Christmas With The Starks by Emmaelsa0000

Definitely Not A Lizard by Hailfire_73

For Peter; For My Son by Canon Irondad (Tomlinsoul)

Gonna Let The Light Shine On Me by Doctornineandthreequarters

Happy Endings Are Complicated by Mazeeternal

Happy Hibernation Day by For_The_Night

I Know That There’s A Place For Us by Madelinedear

Ice Ice, Baby by Olliecollie

Ironfam Day by Marvels_Blue_Phoenix

Little Demons Like To Play by Raccooncati

Magic Makers by Sara (Ctrsara)

One In A Million by Inkinmyheartandonthepage

Post-Surgery Sleepover by Sara (Ctrsara)

The Best Thanksgiving Ever by Niniblack

Try, Try Again by Mak5258

We Aren't Related, Blood, But It's What Deemed Our Bond Unbreakable by Peterparkersimp3000

THE ONE THAT MADE YOU LOL

Am I A Dying Man? by Odd_I

Better Than I Was by Sara (Ctrsara)

Between A Pun And A Noble Gas by Skymageariel

Boy Meets A Random Out Of Body Experience by Natasha_Romanoff_Official

Buttering Me Up by iron_spider

Call The Priest by Call_Me_Coley

Don't Get Confused, Its All About You by Krystalpomme

Far Out by Bergen

Field Trips And Lab Days by Bundibird

Fred The Tarantula by Hailfire_73

Gremlin Activities In The Stark Household by Emmacortana

Hey Grandpa by iron_spider

Home Alone (Peter's Version) by Annasgolden

How Steve Found Out That He Traumatized An Entire Generation by Gempiglin

Instant Kill Mode by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Papa-Paparazzi by Niniblack

The Grey Area by Lansfics7

These Lives We Seek by Beautifullights

Tony Stark, Doctor (Prompt 21: Famous Last Words) by Itsapugthing

We're Never Too Far Apart by Kingdomfaraway

Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Winterturtle

THE WILD CARD STORY

A Place To Call Home by For_The_Night

A Stubborn Teenager Vs Adrenaline Crash by Thisisnotourlasthunt

Can't Part The Sea, Can't Reach The Shores by Forensicleaf

Catch and Keep by Bergen

Chase You Down Until You Love Me by OK_Butwhy1

Equilibrium by Lunasquared

Evergreen by Onlyforward

Fly On The Wall by Kuroi_Tanken

Good Kid Name by Rainwaiter

Haunting The Halls by Blasphemmky

Home (Is Where My Heart Found Exactly Where I'm Supposed To Be) by Ironfidus

How To Fire Your Intern Sixteen Times In Three Days by Bergen

It Started With A Headache And Ended With The Multiverse by Kingdomfaraway

Men Of Iron by Spdrmain

Mortal Flaw And Fatal Sin by Retro_Memo

Mother May I by Battybatzgirl

Of Careful Steps And Reborn Dreams by Seventeenspiders

P.E.T.E by Dixiegrayson

Secret Identity? You Mean A Private Twitter Account? by Villain_Klaus

Sirens In My Mind by Olliecollie

Surviving On Secrets by Booklivesmatter

The Cycle Of Shame by Cheerios_Me_Lovely

The Love (And Other Things) You Inherit by Ironfidus

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Under The Advent Of Stars by Gigidoyle

Whatever It Takes by Ronnieibyrne

THE ONE THAT’S A WHOLE NEW WORLD

A Pirate's Life For Us by Lbigreyhound13

Dear Fellow Traveler by SuperHeroTiger

Do I Deserve This? by Id_Rather_Be_Reading_3

Far Out by Bergen

Forty-Seven Flat by Geekymoviemom

Golden Threads by Winterturtle

Home Is Where The Heart Is by SuperHeroTiger

If These Wings Could Fly by For_The_Night

Left Of The World by Emmacortana

Moulded Minds by Wingswithoutstrings

On So Many Levels by Opal_Earrings

Open Your Mind And Let Me Step Inside by Sunsetuniverse

Past, Present, Yet To Come by Thedumbestavenger

Peter Parker's Home For Wayward People And Animals by Bergen

Prince Of The Forest by Tess_Moon

The Silver Prince by Marialf2001

The Truth Is (Everyone Is Confused, Quantum Physics) by Eviefuller

These Days I'll Sit On Cornerstones by Finny3120

THE SERIES THAT SWEPT YOU AWAY

Cause Freedom Is No Small Thing by TheWeirdDivide

Dear Fellow Traveler by SuperHeroTiger

Earth 2354 by Id_Rather_Be_Reading_3

Fostering Hope by Happyaspie

From The Same Star Series by Sara (Ctrsara)

Heir Peter Fics by Onlyforward

Home Is Where You Hang The Live, Laugh, Love Sign by I_Regret_Thatpersonalityquiz

Inimitable Verse by Deniigiq

Peter Is A Precious Chickpea by Bergen

Peter Parker: Feminist, Social Justice Warrior And Stand Up Guy by Coincidental_Fangirl

Pieces Of Echoes by Geekymoviemom

Role Models by Writing_As_Tracey

Roo-Niverse (Irondad AU) by Juiceontherocks

Spider And Bat Friends by Emmacortana & Tinkerslut

Strands In The Rope by Sara (Ctrsara)

The Meaning Of Inevitable by Mendeia

The One Where Bucky Kidnapped Peter Stark As A Toddler by Niniblack

These Words Written On My Wrist by Katinamoon

They Say It’s What You Make (I Say It’s Up To Fate) by Littlemissagrafina

To Hold The World In My Arms by Ashleyparker2815

Up Came The Sun by Whimsicalethnographies

Wake Up And Smell The Coffee by Bergen

THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU ALL THE LOVE

5 Times Tony Dealt With A Loopy Peter by For_The_Night

A Chance (Of Life, Of Death) by DJ_Unicornsrgr8

Ace Of Hearts by Ironfidus

Catch Your Own Happiness by Truelovetakesawhile

Dear Mach - Come In by Finny3120

Do You Remember Forgetting? by Silverstar1

From My Weakness I Drew Strength by Mendeia

I Know How Much You Love Surprises by Opal_Earrings

Just A Little Obsessed by Quacks

Not Your Peter Parker by Id_Rather_Be_Reading_3

On Begged And Borrowed Time by Buckleyirondad

Only Suckers Wear Scarves by Bergen

Spidery Intervention by King_Claus_The_First

The Ripples They Cause by Linarai

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Tony Stark Finds Himself A Family (That Doesn't Suck) by Youcancallmearrow

Trapped In The Shadows by Geekymoviemom

Where There's Smoke by Juiceontherocks

Worst Summer Vacation by Mysterycyclone

THE ALL-TIME FAVORITE

#Supportspidey by Ironfidus

Academic Decathlons And Peace Offerings by Ironfidus

An Unofficial Introduction To The Avengers by Isnt_It_Pretty_To_Think_So

Cause And Effect by Pokeydotes

Deep In The Heart Of Me by Finely Honed (Jaqen_Hgar)

Five Times Tony Worried Peter And Harley Wouldn't Get Along by Fanfictiongreenirises

Fly On The Wall by Kuroi_Tanken

He Looks On Tempest by iron_spider

Heir Peter Fics by Onlyforward

Hindsight by Elephreak

Identity Theft by Kitcat992

More Peril In Thine Eye by iron_spider

Moulded Minds by Wingswithoutstrings

No Matter If I Fall From The Sky by Opal_Earrings

Prince Of The Forest by Tess_Moon

Roo-Niverse (Irondad AU) by Juiceontherocks

Sins Of The Fathers by Geekymoviemom

Slow Down, Start Again From The Beginning by Cassiecasyl

The Chasm Between by TheSleepingOwl

The Ties That Bind Us by Winterturtle

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Turn Back The Clock (And I'll Try Again In The Morning) by Madasthesea

Up Came The Sun by Whimsicalethnographies

Visiting Hours by Sara (Ctrsara)

Who Says You Can't Go Home by Peacockgirl

THE 2021/2022 FAVORITE

A Different Kind Of Heat by Katinamoon

But Only Hope and Sorrows End by iron_spider

Feathersoft by Katinamoon

Grief Has No Timeline by Sara (Ctrsara)

Hold On World You Don't Know What's Coming by Sandyk

Long Story Short (It Was A Bad Time) Or Ais Don't Forget by Peacockgirl

Men Of Iron by Spdrman

One Of Those Weeks by Juiceontherocks

Prince Of The Forest by Tess_Moon

Sirens In My Mind by Olliecollie

Survivor's Guide To The Galaxy by Fanfic1892

The Long Game by Niniblack

The Love (And Other Things) You Inherit by Ironfidus

The Trouble With Being A Unicorn by Angelworks

There Is Always One Last Light To Turn Out by Kingdomfaraway

These Webs We Weave by SpaceCowboysFromMars

Through The Multiverse And What Peter Found There by Unctrlablyalt

Would You Still Love Me If... by Yellowsunflowerheart

#Irondad Creator Awards #Irondad Creator Awards 2023 #Iron Man #irondad #spider-man #spider son #Irondad and Spiderson #MCU #fanfic

153 notes · View notes

catgirlforkaeya · 2 years

Text

you drew stars around my scars

kaeya x gn!reader

synopsis: the night kaeya finally decides to open up to you

word count: 2.0k

angst + hurt/comfort

warnings: all lowercase + not proofread + spoilers for kaeya’s backstory + spoilers for hidden strife event + mental health struggles

a/n: round 2 since tumblr decided to remove my post from the tags 😞

your eyes fluttered open slowly, looking around some to get your bearings about you. it’s still nighttime— odd. you rarely ever woke up in the middle of the night, so what caused you to wake up tonight?

you glanced at the clock beside your bed, it read 3:47am. with a small groan, you rolled over onto your right side. usually you’d see kaeya laying there next to you asleep, but he wasn’t. this time he was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed. his breathing seemed almost erratic, which sparked worry in you. he was just.. sitting there. not moving.

“babe?” you spoke softly, trying your best not to scare him. you sat up out of bed, shifting over next to where he was sitting. “what’s wrong? it’s almost 4 in the morning.”

kaeya quickly wiped something off of his face as soon as he saw you next to him. his eye was focused on the ground, almost afraid to look up at you.

“i just couldn’t sleep,” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. that was something you noticed he’d do whenever he was anxious or something was bothering him.

“i know you’re lying,” you let out a soft sigh. you reached down, intertwining your fingers with his calloused hand. “you can talk to me, you know.”

there was a long pause between you two. you could tell there was something bothering kaeya, but you didn’t want to pressure him into talking if he didn’t want to. you’ve always been patient with him, you yourself have a hard time talking about your issues so you understand. most people usually get frustrated with him for not telling them about his past, but you were the complete opposite. you always reassured him to take his time and open up when he’s ready.

“why do you stay with me?” kaeya broke the silence, the question lingering in the air. you furrowed your eyebrows, cocking your head to the side slightly as you looked at him.

in all honesty it completely caught you off guard. it took you a moment to reply, not because you didn’t have an answer though. it was because it was an uncalled for and random question. he’s never asked something like this before. you were starting to get a little nervous about the direction this conversation could go.

“because i love you,” you gave your answer as you gently squeezed his hand. usually he’d squeeze back, but there was nothing.

“but why?” he looked over at you. as your eyes met his, you could see the hurt and panic in it. tear stained cheeks could be seen due to the moonlight shining into the room. he had a dark circle under his eye, so god only knows how long he’s been without sleep.

“what happened to you,” you thought to yourself.

you adjusted yourself so that you were fully facing him. you grabbed both his hands now and placed them between yours. “because you make me feel loved. you make me feel safe and at home whenever i’m with you. you’re the best and most important person in my life. that’s why i stay and continue loving you.”

“i’m definitely not the best person,” he said with a shallow laugh. his eyes shifted away from yours as he said that.

“just because you have imperfections doesn’t make you worth any less to me,” your heart ached right now. you hated seeing him in any state other than happy, and this was the lowest you’ve ever seen him. you’ve been well aware of his overthinking nights but it’s never been this bad.

“they would if you knew the truth,” kaeya said, his voice barely above a whisper. you almost didn’t hear his comment that’s how quiet it was. it took you a moment to process what he was hinting at— your brain was still fuzzy from sleep.

“what truth?” you questioned, furrowing your eyebrows once again.

“about me, about who i really am,” he let out an almost frustrated sigh. he moved his hands away from yours, resting his forehead against his palms.

“your past doesn’t always define you,” you placed your hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly. “we’ve been through so much together, and i love you more than anything in this godforsaken world. i promise that your past isn’t going to make me hate you. i could never even hate you.”

“promise?” kaeya slowly looked back up at you, tears beginning to fill in his eye once again. “you promise?”

“yes,” you wrapped your pinkie around his, holding it there for a moment. “i promise. swear on my life.”

kaeya’s hands got shaky, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest and started to wonder if you could hear it. the sake of your relationship hangs in the balance right now. he could take the risk and tell you, about how he’s not from mondstadt and comes from a nation that’s looked down on. or he could take the safe route and continue hiding everything from you. the guilt was crushing him though— eating away at him every second of every day. he needed someone to talk to about all of the pressure, but last time he did that it almost cost him his life.

slowly, he sat up a little bit more and reached back to tug at the string of his eyepatch. he hesitated for a moment, but something inside of him was pushing him to do it. show you the real kaeya.

no going back now.

you watched in shock as he slowly removed his eyepatch. you had nothing against what he was doing, it was just another unexpected surprise. all the years you’ve known him for you’ve never seen him without his eyepatch. but now you were.

your breath hitched for a split second as he revealed what was hiding under the eyepatch. at first you didn’t even notice the mismatched colored eyes, you noticed a scar. it almost looked like a burn scar— but also didn’t. it ran from the top of his eyebrow, cutting through the middle of it, down the middle of his eyelid, and ended a few centimeters under his eye.

his eyes were— gorgeous. all you’ve ever thought is that kaeya had two blue eyes, but to your surprise the one that had been covered up for basically his whole life was gold. not yellow, gold. gold like the sun while it’s setting on a fall evening. you also noticed that his left eye also had the star-shaped pupil.

you began to reach up but stopped yourself.

“can i?” you asked, hinting at if you could touch his scar. he gave a small and hesitant nod.

with that clarification you brought your hand up to his left eye, gently placing your thumb on the scar. his eyes fluttered shut as you slowly traced it, admiring its beauty. the texture of it was rough, rougher than the rest of his skin. it definitely felt like a mix between a burn scar and a scar from a blade. it was also a lot darker, which is what made you guess it was a burn scar. the color of it was almost a maroon color, it definitely was darker than his skin.

the two of you stayed like this for a little while— you gently tracing the outline of kaeya’s scar, also drawing small patterns here and there. to his surprise it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. deep he was worried you’d freak out and start asking a dozen questions as to why his eye looked like that, what caused the scar, everything along those lines. but you just stayed silent— he was honestly wondering what you were thinking right now.

suddenly you leaned up, placing a gentle kiss onto the scar. you heard kaeya’s breath pause for a second as you pulled away. you placed your thumb on his cheekbone, rubbing small circles into that now.

“beautiful,” you whispered as his eyes opened. a smile came across your face as you watched his eyes widen at your words. “you’re beautiful.”

next thing kaeya knew, he had tears streaming down his face again. nobody had ever called him beautiful in this context. he always thought his gold eye would consider him a freak, but you saw past that. you saw him for who he truly is. you were upholding your promise to him.

once the tears faded kaeya decided it was time to tell you. he started with where he was from— explaining to you where khaenri’ah was and how it worked. to his surprise you knew a lot more about it than he expected. then he explained what happened the night his father abandoned him, telling you the same words he heard that night. he didn’t get too much into what his childhood was like growing up with crepus and diluc, but that was because there wasn’t much to say other than stupid childhood memories that you’ve probably heard before. and finally, he explained everything that happened the night crepus was killed— the guilt he felt that night, why he told diluc, what caused the fight, and how he got the scar.

sometime during the explanation you began crying. you had no clue that kaeya had been through this much. you could tell he was broken but you would’ve never expected this. your heart ached for him— you wished you could do something to take the pain away. you wished you had been there for him when all of that happened.

when kaeya finally fell silent you pulled him into a tight hug. he sat there in shock for a moment, but quickly gave in and hugged back. he was surprised you were crying for him— not out of anger because he lied to you about everything. and honestly, you didn’t care about all the lies because it was to protect himself.

“i’m so sorry,” you knew you had no reason to be apologizing to kaeya, but you just had to.

“it’s fine. everything’s over,” kaeya tightened his grip on you, burying his head in the crook of your neck. his tears flowed down onto your night shirt, but you didn’t care. you sat there and let him cry. it was obvious that he’d kept all of this bottled up his whole life, and now it was finally coming out. kaeya finally felt free for the most part. he didn’t have to hide himself from you anymore— all the guilt for the lies was gone.

after some time you both wore yourselves out. now you were back in bed, holding each other close. you were once again tracing his scar. kaeya honestly liked the feeling of it— it was calming to him for some reason.

“i love you, so much,” you gave kaeya a tired smile as he looked down at you. your hands were cupping his face now, thumbs rubbing circles against his face rhythmically.

“i love you too,” kaeya smiled back at you. for the first time in a long time, it was a genuine smile.

you reached up and placed a kiss on his lips, then one last one to the scar.

a few minutes passed, you both were on the brink of sleep. the sun was slowly starting to shine through your curtains but neither of you cared. yes, you had work but it wouldn’t hurt to call in for one day, would it?

as you both drifted off to sleep, kaeya placed one last kiss to your forehead. he mumbled a small thank you against your skin. he didn’t know if you could hear him or not, but he’d make sure to thank you for the rest of your lives. you were the only person to ever truly see him for who he was, and not just a spy from a hated nation.

you promised him beforehand that you’d continue loving him despite all of the demons from his past, and you’re going to do exactly that until the day you die.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact fanfic #genshin angst #kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya genshin #kaeya x reader #kaeya x you #catgirlforkaeya

446 notes · View notes