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nereidprinc3ss · 11 days

Text

come on home

in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid

inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers

wc 2857

warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending

a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3

She hung up on you.

Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better.

Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either.

You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.

So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.

What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring.

“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there.

“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?”

Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows.

“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?”

“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.”

You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside.

“Nice, nice. What else?”

“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.”

“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening.

“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.”

A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself.

“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.”

“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.”

When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice.

“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”

You bite the inside of your cheek.

“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.”

“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice.

“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.”

Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better.

“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.”

Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry.

“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.”

“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless.

“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.”

Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart.

“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.”

Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again.

“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle.

Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life.

“Then I’m on my way.”

Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.

After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime.

You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.

“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?”

You shake your head and gasp a small sob.

Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders.

His hand smooths over the back of your hair.

“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”

You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.

Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear.

“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.”

“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight.

“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?”

“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.”

There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.”

You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea.

Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave.

“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.

At least, until he goes home.

Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up.

“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.

“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you.

“That among other things.”

“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?”

The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does.

“Okay.”

It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.

“Thanks,” you murmur.

His lips pull into a melancholy smile.

“Anytime.”

There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.

But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close.

“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist.

“I can’t do that, honey.”

“Why not?”

His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently.

“Because we’re not together anymore.”

“Why not?”

Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is.

Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down.

“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.”

In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.

“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.”

He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke.

“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.”

You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again.

“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.”

Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales.

“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.”

When he kisses you, it feels like home.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds

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timetoletmyimaginationfly · 2 months

Text

Falling In Love Again

Nanami Kento x Reader

Requested by @patpatspatz . I hope you enjoy! Sorry it took me a bit! It’s been getting busy with school again.

(Song Inspiration: Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers)

“You alright?” Utahime asked. You quickly wiped your tears and nodded. You rubbed your nose with your sleeve.

“Yeah,” you breathed out and straightened out your body.

“You got the call? I’m here to let you know about your mission,” she said as she sat down next to you.

“I was about to head there.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Just…life.” You stood up and tied your hair up in your usual ponytail. “I’ll be back in a few days I guess.”

“Few days?”

“Since I’m in Tokyo, I might as well have a tiny vacation for myself. See you later.” Utahime watched you walk away. Confused, she stood up to figure out what happened. But when she did, she caught a shine in her eye. Her eyes widened and she picked up a familiar ring on the ground. Anger filled her as she stormed throughout the Kyoto campus.

You thanked the assistant manager and walked towards the area. You already know it’s going to be a rough mission. Your mind is constantly wandering. You’re there but not really there.

“Are you okay?” The deep voice that was in front of you made you jump. You looked up and down at the tall, blonde male. You can sense that he is a sorcerer and you found him interesting with the suit and tie he wore.

“Y-Yeah, I am,” you said quietly. You bowed and introduced yourself to him. He mirrored your movements.

“Nanami Kento,” he said. “So, you’re from the Kyoto school.” Puzzled, you nodded your head. “Did you get notice that this was a joint mission?” Slightly, your eyes widened.

“I-I did not,” you answered. You rubbed your arm, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Sorry, it just hasn’t been a personal good week for me.” You watched him nod, his expression still apparently blank.

“You seem tired,” he said softly. You don’t know why, but his gaze just seemed so intense. You slowly looked away and nodded.

“Like I said, not a good week.”

He stayed close by as you two walked around, finding the culprit of mysterious murders around the construction site. The building was half done, but still a danger zone. You were finally focused. After the first encounter of a weak cursed spirit, you found yourself back in your zone.

“Nanami-san,” you whispered. Nanami looked at you in response. The two of you hid in the hallway. “Three more weak ones.” You closed your eyes for a few more moments before opening them to see Nanami’s calculating ones. “The big one is up one more level.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. You nodded confidently. “Your technique…”

“There’s a certain distance that I can see around me,” you said. “I’m a good support.” You watched the corner of his lips curve up. You caught your breath and for the first time in the week, you felt okay. Even for a moment.

“Then, you must be a good planner,” he said. “How should we go about this?” You smiled and started to list a handful of options and continued from what you and Nanami agreed on.

The two of you watched the veil go down after defeating the curse. It took longer than usual, just as you expected. The sun was already setting and you checked your phone for the time. You saw many missed calls and text messages from Utahime. You sighed, feelings from earlier were back to overwhelm you.

“Did you get hurt?” Nanami asked as he walked towards you.

But you didn’t respond to him. Your eyes remained on your phone. You returned back to how you were from when you two met. Unlike during the mission, you are now distracted, unfocused, and unaware of your surroundings. He couldn’t help but take a quick peek at your phone. He noticed Utahime’s name. And he saw the cap locked messages she sent one after another. Again, he called your name and placed his hand on your shoulder. You jumped back to reality and looked up at him.

“Nanami-san,” you said softly. He could practically see your eyes glisten with tears.

“Are you hurt?” You shook your head before looking at your body. “Your arm.” You nodded and watched the blood trickle down and drip to the floor. Nanami unwrapped his tie from his hand and wrapped your arm to help stop the bleeding.

“Wait! Your tie!” He stayed silent, making sure it was wasn’t too tight.

“Let’s get you checked out,” he said. You nodded. You didn’t have the energy to protest. You followed him in the car that was awaiting for him. “No one came for you?”

“I was going to stay in Tokyo for a few days.” Your eyes widened and you winced in pain. Delayed reaction for sure. “Ouch.”

“We’re not too far from the school.” You nodded, your hand not leaving your arm. Your phone dinged from another text message. It was Utahime again. You sighed, ignoring your friend and looked out the window.

“Okay, all done,” Shoko said with a small smile. You moved your arm, the sharp pain gone and scarless. “Utahime called. Will you be alright?”

“Y-Yeah,” you said.

“Nanami,” Shoko called. Your eyes widened. You looked up and watched him walk towards you two. You didn’t realize he was there the whole time. You held on to his tie tightly in your hand. “Make sure she finds a nice hotel to stay in.” You gave Shoko a look.

“You don’t trust me?”

“I just want you safe, and Utahime was worried. You wouldn’t say anything to her. So, Nanami is staying close by.” Shoko would’ve gave Nanami a stern look to agree, but his quick yes surprised her. Shoko was pretty sure he wouldn’t be flattered with the option.

“Nanami-san, thank you but I’ll be okay,” you said as you hopped off the table. “I will get your tie cleaned up and I’ll return it before I go back to Kyoto.”

You abruptly left and without a word, Nanami followed. You knew he was. Nanami made his presence known. But all the energy you had was gone. Nanami was nothing but kind. You didn’t have the heart to continuously push him away. So you walked side by side with him and let him follow you to the city.

He never said a word. His silence became comfortable to you. You just walked aimlessly around the city. And he never questioned you once.

“I caught my ex-fiancé cheating,” you confessed. “I came home from a mission a week ago and saw heels that weren’t mine. I smelled perfume that I didn’t own. And I heard a woman’s laughter and…more noises. I quietly walked to the bedroom door, it was opened ajar, and end of story.”

Nanami was in shock that you told him. Someone you just met today and yet here you are, telling him what was wrong.

Why did I tell him…?

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. You only nodded in response. Nanami mentally sighed and looked around. He held your shoulder and turned you around. You faced a dim window. People crowded the area inside as they talked, laughed, ate, and drank. “After you.”

“Eh?” When you looked at Nanami, you felt your face heat up. His smile was soft, softening his usual blank expression.

“I had my heart broken once,” he said. “My friend took me here. Thought I do the same for you.”

“Why? We just met.” Nanami shrugged, hands in his pockets.

“I don’t see why not, right?”

“I-I guess not.”

He found a high, square table fitted for two people. He ordered the both of you drinks and food, an entree for him while you opted for an appetizer.

“How long were you with the guy?” Nanami asked.

“About six years,” you answered. “Engaged for not even a year.”

“How old are you?”

“I just turned 25.” Nanami nodded.

“So, your first relationship?” You nodded this time.

“Nanami-san,” you called. He looked at you and hummed in response. “How long was your relationship? Or maybe your longest? Did you have multiple relationships? Did you have to do the break up?” Your curiosity took over. Nanami looked at you with adoration.

“I just had one relationship. She broke up with me a few years ago and we’ve been dating for almost four years,” he answered. You gave him a pouty look. “She wasn’t a sorcerer and she hated that I was out most of the time.”

“Mine was too,” you said. “And he took advantage of it.” Elbows on the table, your palms rested on your cheeks. You looked at Nanami with sad eyes. “Love sucks.” Nanami picked up his drink and took a small sip.

“It does.”

“Nanami-san?” He looked at you. And when he did, he felt his heart skip a beat for the first in three years. You gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you for this.” He felt his voice in the back of his throat. So in response, he gave you a smile and nodded. He mentally thanked the dim lights that you couldn’t see the slight blush to his face.

“You’re welcome.”

“Do you do joint missions often?” He shook his head. “I’m glad my first one was with you then. I think we make a pretty good team! What do you think?”

“I think so, too.” You checked the time on your watch.

“I should check in a hotel soon,” you said.

“I have an extra room.” You looked at him with wide eyes before you shook your head.

“I-I can’t intrude, Nanami-san,” you said, your voice slightly shaking.

“It’s for a few days right? I don’t mind,” he said reassuringly. He didn’t know where it came from. Nanami inviting you to stay at his place. A broken-hearted stranger.

“Are you usually this kind to strangers?” you asked with a giggle as you swirled your drink in your cup.

“Technically, we’re not strangers anymore,” Nanami replied with a slight smirk. You blushed slightly. Nanami let out a small chuckle. “May the one who was broken-hearted help the current broken-hearted.” You raises your glass slightly.

“To shitty love?” Nanami raises his glass yet shook his head.

“To new love.”

You decided to clink his glass to those words. It was probably one of the few things that seemed right. So far, anything related to Nanami Kento felt right.

“WHAT?!” you pulled away from your cell phone from Utahime’s screaming. You sat on the balcony of Nanami’s apartment. After dinner, you quickly shopped for necessities after dinner. And he gave you a tour before the two of you went in separate bathrooms to shower. “Okay, okay. Look. Can you please tell me everything from the beginning? Please? As your best friend?” You sighed and nodded.

“It might take a while.”

“Wait, let’s get Shoko in this call.”

Once the three way call started, you began your story. You started from a month after the proposal when your ex became distant and secretive around you. You told them the things he did, what you found and speculated, up until last week when you caught him in the act. Profanities flooded your ears that you pulled the phone away from your ear.

“But are you okay? You dealt with it on your own,” Utahime said worriedly.

“I wish you told us earlier,” Shoko added. “I thought you guys were doing great.”

You sniffled and wiped your tears away. A soft knock was heard behind you. Nanami stood there with a tray that held two tea cups. You opened the door and quietly, he joined you, sitting on the empty seat. Nanami pulled a small packet of tissues from his pocket and handed it to you. You mouthed him a ‘thank you’ and he nodded back in response.

“After today, I am better than I thought I would be,” you said.

“Did Nanami accompany you today?” Shoko asked.

“Oh, Nanami was with you during the mission! That makes sense,” Utahime said.

“What does?” Shoko asked.

“She’s residing in the Nanami Kento resort for the next few days she’s in Tokyo.” You blushed. You slowly moved your eyes to Nanami who stared ahead at the city skyline. Before he looked back at you, you averted your eyes.

“Odd of him but that’s good,” Shoko said and yawned. “Alright, fill me in on anything else. I’m going to sleep.” Utahime called your name.

“Promise me that you’ll be okay.”

“I promise.”

“And take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

You and Nanami were alone. No phone in hand. Just the two of you sipping on tea while staring at the city skyline. It was content silence. And you didn’t mind it. You figured that you’ll take advantage of the silence with him to keep your mind at peace.

Gojo looked at Nanami as he was on the phone. He heard ‘joint mission’ often, which brought the white-haired man curiosity. He knew Nanami as a man who prefers to work alone. But for the past couple of months, he would hear ‘joint mission’ every now and then, making him curious as ever. So by the next day, he decided to confront him. But he was stopped when he saw the usual blank expression from the blonde male with a smile. His eyes widened when he watched him laugh. With a woman! He quietly walked backwards, eyes remaining on Nanami before he turned around and ran to find Shoko.

“Nanamin!” he yelled once he barged inside. Shoko was healing a young sorcerer. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“What about him?” she asked.

“He’s with a girl! She’s cute! He’s with a cute girl!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot she’s here today.” When Shoko briefly talked about you, Gojo nodded. “Leave them alone. You’ll just be asking for it.”

You smiled when Nanami looked at you with surprise. He noticed the change in uniform. From a purple and blue kimono, you wore a fitted dark purple tank top with a high neck and black shorts. You wore a black belt with small pockets to the side and a holster holding your katanas. You wore black gloves and knee high black boots. Yet, you kept your purple bow on your hair when you tied it up.

“So I work at both schools,” you answered. “After the move, the travel gets too much. At least twice a month I have to go to Kyoto.”

“You seem happier,” he said. “You’re like a different person.”

“Is that a bad thing, Nanami-san?” you asked teasingly. Nanami shook his head. “Thank you again for helping me move my things.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied. Nanami looked at his phone and nodded. “Ijichi-san is here. We should go.”

Nanami placed his hand on the small of your back. You smiled and it made him relaxed. He opened the back door for you, and you thanked him as he entered the car.

“Nanami-san,” you called. He hummed in response, his eyes focused on you. “Let’s have dinner after this.”

“Okay. Did you want Ieiri-san and Iori-san to come too?” Nanami asked. To his surprise, you shook your head. “You sure?”

“I’m sure,” you answered. “I see them pretty often.”

And after the fairly easy mission, you followed Nanami to the restaurant of his choice. You smiled widely. He took you back to the place where you first met. He opened the door for you and you happily thanked him.

“Now, you should order an entree from them,” Nanami suggested. You smiled.

“What do you suggest, Nanami-san?” you asked. “Should we order a bottle of wine? I’m in the mood for red.”

“Perfect choice. Do you like steak?”

“I love steak! Nanami-san, be lucky that I’m not a picky eater.” When the waiter arrived, Nanami ordered the drinks, appetizer, and entrees. You giggled, watching Nanami pour the two glasses of wine. “Feels like we’re on a date, Nanami-san.” You could feel your cheeks slightly warm up.

“It does, doesn’t it?” he replied with a small smile. “Have you thought about dating again.” He asked you slowly and carefully. As he asked, he paid close attention to your expressions. He didn’t want to hurt you. But he was relieved when you gave him a small smile.

“I don’t know if I’m ready but I probably won’t know if I don’t start, right?”

“Probably.” You raised your glass and Nanami followed.

“Cheers to new beginnings,” you said happily. He clinked glasses with you. “If you don’t mind, can I count this as a date?” Nanami felt his face warm up immediately. And automatically, his smile became larger.

“Only if you allow me to properly take you out on a second date. I—I can…what I mean to say is…” Nanami cleared his throat and loosened his tie. “Allow me to show you how well you should be treated and that, if your view on love is destroyed, I’ll have you believe that it’s a beautiful thing.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t address you to Nanami-san then. Is Kento okay?”

“More than okay.” You felt butterflies in your stomach. Maybe it was the brightened expression on his face? Or maybe the slight joy in his tone? “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” you answered softly. “My stomach did flips. In a good way.” His chuckle, oh my gosh his chuckle, it made your heart race.

“Good.”

Utahime shook you hard when you told her about your dates with Nanami. After the fifth date you two had the night before, you couldn’t help but to finally catch up with her.

“Utahime!!” you yelled to stop her shaking.

“You so love him!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“We’re not even official,” you mumbled. You held your warm cheeks in your hands.

“So? Nanami is such a sweetheart,” she said dreamingly. “If only more men were like him. But despite that, it doesn’t matter! Did you kiss him yet?”

“O-On the cheek.”

“Boring! Look, love is weird. It’s different for everyone.”

“But, what if he falls for someone else while I—“ The sudden insecure feelings started to rise. As your feelings for Nanami grew, so did your insecurities.

“Nanami will listen to you. Talk to him,” she said. “Speaking of…” You watched her squint. You turned around and your eyes widened.

“Kento…” Nanami smiled as he walked closer to the two of you. He greeted you both.

“Can I steal her?” he asked Utahime.

“Of course you can!” Utahime replied with a big smile on her face. “See you soon!” Before you said anything, she scurried away. Your heart was racing now that you and Nanami were alone. You turned to face him.

“Do you usually wear your kimono when you’re in Kyoto?” he asked curiously. You nodded. “It looks beautiful.”

“T-Thank you, Kento. I-Isn’t it your day off?”

“It is. I just wanted to see you.” You couldn’t help but giggle lightly.

“We saw each other last night,” you stated. Nanami watched your cheeks blush into a faint pink. He raised his arm and gently caressed your cheek.

“I know,” he said. “I couldn’t help myself. I love seeing your beautiful face.” He softly chuckled. “I want to spend time with you when you finish work. Maybe we could roam around Kyoto. And I’ll bring you home.”

“I would love that. I have paper work to fill out. Keep me company?”

“Of course, sweetheart. That’s what I planned to do.” He stood by side and held your hand, intertwining his fingers to yours. He slightly turned to your direction. “Lead the way.”

You were definitely more distracted with Nanami sitting nearby. You caught yourself looking up after filling out half of your paperwork every time. And every time you did, Nanami sat there comfortably while reading the paper. He turns the page, you quickly look away. The sound of his voice calling your name made you jump. And what he said made your world go round.

“I like you. A lot. Maybe even more than like you.” When you looked at him, his eyes remained on the paper. But you caught the pink in the tip of his ears.

“W-What’s more than like?” you asked slowly and curiously. You looked away but you listened to his movements. He stood up and you can see him walk closer to you, his shadow towering over you.

“I don’t want to say anything that makes you uncomfortable, sweetheart,” he said. “I know what I’m sure of. And I can wait for you to be sure.” Your body froze.

“How long are you willing to wait? Because …I’m scared.” A small amount of tears started to blur your vision, but you held them in.

“I know, sweetheart.” Slowly, he curled a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Have I done anything wrong?” You shook your head. “If I do, tell me. Okay?”

“I don’t even think you can do anything wrong. You’re perfect. And that’s what’s scary. You can have anyone you want.” Softly, Nanami gave you a kiss.

“You’re perfect. And the one I want is you. I can wait, sweetheart. Starting today, you are officially mine. If you have me.”

“I do want you, Kento. But the more I like you, the more insecure I get.”

“And the more I can show you how much I want you. I’m not going to leave you. I’ve shown two months of it and I’ll never stop.” You couldn’t find your voice, so you nodded. Nanami smiled and kissed your forehead. “Oh, I forgot.” You watched him reach inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a bow for your hair that matched his tie. “I thought it be cute if we match every now and then. I know it’s not your style.”

“I-I love it,” you said with a large smile on your face. You undid your hair with your purple bow and replaced it with his. “What do you think?” Nanami cupped your chin with his fingers. He looked at you lovingly and leaned in to kiss you softly on the lips. He left you in a daze.

“Beautiful.”

You couldn’t help but keep your hand on your stomach where you continuously had the worst gut wrenching feeling. You stared at your phone. Nanami’s message was letting you know that he had an emergency mission to attend to in Shibuya while you, Utahime, and the students were south of Kyoto. He never read your message back after you replied to him to be safe. And he likes to leave his read receipts on for you so you know he’s seen your message.

But after hearing Mechamaru’s message, you remained quiet. Praying for the train to hurry.

“It’s Nanami,” Utahime said. “He’ll be okay.”

“Shoko hasn’t seen him yet,” you said. “Ijichi-san and a few other sorcerers are injured.”

And once you all arrived, you went separate ways.

“Kento! Kento!” you called. You held in your tears. “Kento…” You closed your eyes, hoping to see him somewhere. You somehow got a glimpse. His figures blurred. His body lying on the ground. “Kento!”

You pulled your bow tie out of your hair. Your cursed energy flowing through it as you closed your eyes, letting your tears fall.

You’re alive. You’re alive. Kento, don’t leave me.

You gasped. He laid lifeless on the ground, body half burnt. You barely noticed him breathing. But the extremely subtle raise of his chest was good enough for you. You noticed the subway. The exact location. Once you opened your eyes, you ran for your life.

The gasped at the sight of the area. All of the civilians and cursed that were killed. You couldn’t help but cry again. Cry for the innocent people who lost their lives.

But now, your focus was somewhere else. You ran around the subway station in Shibuya. You noticed a couple of sorcerers from the Tokyo School as well. You found one carrying an unconscious Maki. You were relieved. She’s still alive.

“Kento! Kento…please…” When you turned a corner, you gasped. The amount of cursed killed laid around the area. “Kento!” You heard a voice so familiar. You ran towards the source of the voice. You gasped.

Nanami laid there, lying in pain. His breathing was shallow and eye lids half open. You knelt down next to him. Your body shook. All he did was give you a small smile. You looked at his body.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he said and reached out slowly to hold your hand. “I’m here.”

“I thought…I thought—“

“How was your mission?” he asked weakly and tiredly.

“Idiot! Don’t ask me how my mission was when you’re about to die!” Nanami smiled. He saw your bow tie loose and wrapped around your hand.

“That’s how you found me?” You nodded. “That’s amazing.”

“L-Let’s bring you to Shoko. Can you even stand?” Nanami nodded. “Let me help you.” You held his hands and gently pulled him up so he was sitting. Nanami groaned. He was exhausted. But one look at you just helped him stay awake. Thinking he was going to die earlier, he was worried. He didn’t want you to worry.

“Sweetheart.” You looked at him with teary eyes. Nanami reached out to your face and wiped your tears away with his thumb. “I love you.” More tears fell and you hugged him.

“I love you, too. So let’s hurry up and get you healed.”

It was the middle of winter. The snow in Tokyo grew heavier. You laid down next to Nanami in his bed. One hand held his book while his free arm was wrapped around your shoulders. Your head rested on his chest while you scrolled through your phone.

“Kento, I’m getting hungry,” you said and looked up at him. You watched him smile. He wore an eyepatch and half his body was scarred through the burns. His hair fully grew back. And for a while, he feared that you would leave him.

“What would you like, my love?” he asked as he closed his book. You put your phone down and climbed on top of him and hugged him tightly as you straddled his lap.

“Soup and garlic bread.” You can feel the calming vibrations of his chest as he caressed your hair. You sighed in content and smiled. “Kento?”

“Yes, my love?”

“Thank you for loving me,” you said and raised your head so you could look at him. You cupped his face and caressed his cheeks with your thumbs. “I never thought falling in love again would be better.” Nanami held your left wrist and brought it to his lips to kiss it.

“I fall in love with you more every single day, my love. And I want my love for you to grow forever.”

#nanami x reader #nanami x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami fanfic #nanami #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk #nanami jjk #nanami fluff #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff

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andruwminyrd · 2 years

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spotify playlists just because ✨

2022. vibe for 2022

steve harrington - ahoy ladies! (mix of 80s songs & more modern ones. also a mix of songs that reminds me of him & that i think he'd like tbh)

robin buckley - i wanted her to look at me (mix of 80s songs but also sapphic songs <33 same as steve it's a mix of songs that i think she'd like but also that just reminds me of her)

stranger things - friends don't lie. (songs from the series & songs that fits)

NACE - just 'cuse i'm mad at you doesn't mean i want to lose you. a playlist for nancy drew and ace from nancy drew.

the marauders. i solemnly swear i'm up to no good. (songs that reminds me of the gang & that i think they'd listen to)

the foxhole court. he was their family. they were his. they were worth every cut and bruise and scream. a playlist for all for the game by nora sakavic cus my tfc phase came back and i'd deleted my old playlist so i needed a new and updated one <3

that funny feeling. inspired by bo burnhams song by the same title. mainly sad songs from phoebe bridgers, taylor swift and mitski. (others too but those 3 r the main ones)

it was never a phase. a messy playlist with mostly emo & pop punk music (think mcr, fall out boy, paramore and avril lavigne.. tho there r some bratz song in there as well)

you have bewitched me. movie score & classical music.

coming of age soundtrack. typical songs that are in a coming of age movie like lady bird, booksmart and the edge of seventeen.

90s romcom soundtrack. typical songs that are in romcoms from the 90s like 10 things i hate about you, she's all that and clueless.

horror movie soundtrack. mainly inspired by fear street

final girl. she’s the one at the end with a knife in her hand. her friends are dead. she’s on a mission to kill. she’s not so innocent anymore. a playlist for my girls sidney prescott, laurie strode, ellen ripley, alice hardy, grace le domas and so many more.

cottagecore. songs that fits the cottagecore aesthetic.

fine! make me your villain. songs that fits ur favorite villain.

slowburn enemies to friends to lovers. when you don't know if they're gonna kiss or kill each other.

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo. they are just husbands. i am evelyn hugo. and anyways, i think once people know the truth, they will be mure more interested in my wife.

daisy jones and the six. for the book with same title by taylor jenkins reid. will be updated with the songs from the tvshow when it's out (and if i like them ahha)

star crossed lovers. two young lovers, whose love is destined for destruction.

dark academia. think the secret history, dead poets society, kill your darlings, if we were villains.

wasting my young years. it's 2015 and you're on tumblr. (tho some songs are prob from 2016 and up but the vibe is there)

pov its summer. a playlist for the summer

percy jackson. don't feel bad, i'm usually about to die. for the percy jackson series by rick riordan, and getting hyped for the disney+ series.

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definedbydaylight · 11 months

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“Show Me Your Love” Part 1

A Matty Healy x OC; Instagram AU

Masterlist: .°˖✧

Series Intro: “Harper is a writer who gained a small cult following on tumblr as a teenager, through this she meets one of her best friends Phoebe Bridgers, but when Harper’s seemingly “normal” life collides with the world of The 1975 frontman Matty Healy, the universe spins her life in a completely different direction.”

○ harpersnotbazaar

harpersnotbazaar those of you who’ve been following me since my teenage tumblr days will be delighted to hear that my debut poetry book will be coming out this year!! keep in touch to know just when ;)

liked by phoebebridgers, aidenfluxx, and 12,673 others

harperfluxfan OMG I AM SO EXCITED I’VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU FOR AGES!!

harpersnotbazaar I AM TOO!!

phoebebridgers i’m so proud of you my favorite internet friend<3

harpersnotbazaar i’m an infinitely more proud of you<3

phoebesleftpinkytoe i am so glad i found you through phoebe, i’ve sobbed to your tumblr posts so i am not ready for this :,)

fan1 i will be buying every copy ever

harperfan34 please what are the vibes of the book, i need to prepare myself

harpersnotbazaar sad… very sad, but also with a little hope sprinkled in between ⋆˙⟡

phoebebridgers posted a story

○ trumanblack

trumanblack no caption

liked by phoebebridgers, rass1975, and 378,927 others

1975fan69 your words inspire me truly

phoebebridgers nice elevator

trumanblack *lift

phoebebridgers okay smartass it’s an elevator😐

harpersnotbazaar only here to say it’s definitely a lift

phoebebridgers YOU ARE AMERICAN YOU TRAITOR

trumanblack @harpersnotbazaar smart american

fan972 YOURE SO HOT OMG

harperfluxfan omg i see harper in the comments

mattyhealyishot who’s harper?

harperfluxfan an og tumblr girl poet, she’s friends with phoebe!

rass1975 get to the studio already idiot

○ phoebebridgers

phoebebridgers in london visiting the worlds greatest poet

liked by harpersnotbazaar, trumanblack, and 86,163 others

harpersnotbazaar omg! what? i had no idea!!

phoebebridgers ur so funny😐

trumanblack i don’t see how that caption can be true as you’ve not visited me yet?

phoebebridgers you wish you were as talented as harper

trumanblack is she the hot ginger?

1975fan69 jesus christ matty

iloveharperrrflux omg you both look so good

phoebesbridge omg!! she’s in my city!!

fan184 who is that red head girl?

phoebeiscool she’s tagged in the pic

trumanblack has followed harpersnotbazaar

○ harpersnotbazaar

harpersnotbazaar day two of babysitting

liked by phoebebridgers, lucydacus and 23,264 others

lucydacus the ladies are on the town

phoebebridgers so true, i am baby

harpersnotbazaar my baby ;)

harperfan34 okay but like… imagine harper’s poems turned into a phoebe song… A DREAM

fan174 i wish i was their child

trumanblack hey

phoebebridgers actually get out of here freak

harpersnotbazaar has followed trumanblack

Part 2

A/N: Okay I hope you all enjoyed this I had so much fun planning it all out, and if you haven’t already please check out my post on Harper Flux so you can learn more about her!! The Instagram AU is more just fun for me and I do plan on putting out fully written fics in the future, but I really love the character I’ve created out of Harper so I may just create a cinematic universe of different stories of her and Matty… who knows?? ;)

#the 1975 #matty healy #matty healy x reader #kinda #matty healy x oc #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty #healy #matty healy x harper flux #dbd matty fics #dbd show me your love #dbd harper flux

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tojivu · 1 year

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PLEASE CALL ME [01]

a/n part 1 out of idk.. anyways this was so heavily inspired by phoebe bridger’s songs.. i’m so obsessed with her (=´∀｀) oh and also by a book i finished a long time ago but haven’t gotten over lol. i tried writing this in 3rd person pov but tbh it’s hard for me to display emotion in my writing if it’s 3rd person cus it’s like giving u instructions on how to feel 😭. I KNOW ITS 2023 OKAY I KNOW WE DONT LIKE 1ST PERSON ANYMORE BUT PLS LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT

warnings/tags barely proofread (i tried), if yall don’t like tis i’ll probably discontinue it LOL, childe x implied f!reader, sfw.

listen to chinese satellite by phoebe bridgers.

“Good morning.” Ajax is speaking to you, voice low. “It's a hot day.”

You were shivering, actually. Mornings were always cold no matter what the temperature was. Nevertheless, you nod and agree with him anyway. “Yup, isn’t it?”

You two were standing outside your house, waiting for the other to initiate the walking, to which you end up doing it. He follows behind, the path too narrow to fit the two of you—this was a familiar sound. Heavy footsteps you could only recognise to be Ajax’s only two metres behind you. You don’t need to turn around to know he’s staring at the back of your head.

Such a nostalgic feeling, you think. You and him have been passing by the same trees and the same brown-cream coloured houses for 5 years now.

“Can you believe that we’re graduating in two months?”

He doesn’t answer.

You repeat the question again and he finally responds. You turn around, curious as to what had gotten him so distracted; his phone is in his hand, he’s looking into it and it’s pointing at you—his bright yellow phone case pales in comparison to the smile he has on his face.

“Not even going to let me pose?”

“You don’t need to do that. Your morning face is enough.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You’re pretty when you wake up.”

It’s 6 in the morning. Ajax was never one to think before he speaks, especially when the sun had just risen 5 minutes prior. You ignore what he says, assuming he just couldn’t tell that isn’t something you say to friends.

“Sure.”

—

It’s 8:27 am. You’ve been sitting through an hour of English, and you swear you thought the subject couldn’t get any more boring than when it was in middle school. You’re spinning your blue MUJI 0.5 tip pen between your middle and index finger, ultimately failing after 5 seconds and letting it drop to the floor. It rolls away, farther than you could bend and reach for—a soft metal clinking sound is heard when you realise it’s hit someone’s chair.

The red and black coloured backpack on the floor next to the chair made it obvious where your pen had gone and who’s chair it hit.

You whisper-yell, “Hey, can you pick that up?”

Ajax turns around and looks at you and then the floor. You’re thankful as he picks up the pen, but then quickly confused as to why he just turns forward again—keeping your pen at his desk.

—

YOU: It feels as though the evening has been stretched, like time is in slow motion and not in a good way; because I’m looking at Ajax sitting across from me and we have not spoken. I have a cup of coffee in my right hand, much too sweet for my own taste; a cat drawn from the latte art I don’t remember requesting. I’m very sure I asked for a bunny. I’m very sure. I think I left my Math textbook in class. The trees look really lively or something like that, I don’t really know, I am making sure to look away from Ajax because I know he’s staring.

“What?”

“What what?” He acts like he wasn’t just staring at me for the past 5 minutes. “Is there a problem?”

“My problem is that you’re being weird today.”

His mouth is agape, too dramatic to be genuine. “That’s rude.”

I don’t know what to reply to him now, knowing that he’ll just continue acting stupid. My shoes squeak against the wooden flooring as I lean back in my chair, it’s evening now and I’m so exhausted. People from the high school three streets away from ours are filling the tiny place up, passing by our table and some stare at Ajax as they do. The oak tables that were empty just a half hour ago are now full of teenagers, this whole place is infested with us; behind, left and right.

It’s not weird for people to stare at Ajax when we’re out together. It’s not like he’s a celebrity or anything, but somehow every girl I know has heard of him or has heard of him from someone who has heard of him. It’s a big chain of people I find impossible to keep track of. If you mentioned his name anywhere, someone would definitely go ��you know him too?”.

I’m drinking my tea slowly and quietly. A group of girls are laughing so loud my eardrums could burst. Another group of girls walk in and the familiar bell sound of the café entrance rings, and it’s no surprise they know Ajax too; he smiles at them, I can’t tell if out of politeness, when they walk by. They’re giggling to themselves and I can’t help but feel a bit lost.

“What’s wrong with you today?” He’s asking me as if multiple things aren’t wrong with him. Suddenly, I’m the one with the problems.

I don’t bother anymore, I think about that moment minutes ago over and over again and I have no idea what to make of it. That giggle wasn’t a “what a coincidence” giggle, more like a teasing sort, the kind your friends do when your crush talks to you.

“Nothing is wrong with me.” I’m lying. “I’m gonna go home.”

He is so clueless, so oblivious to everything it is paining me. Oblivious to the amount of girls that are looking his way in this very establishment, at this very moment in time. It makes me almost angry, somewhat, that he doesn’t know.

—

AJAX: It is 7 P.M. and dark out. I think she’s angry but she’s just slouching over, but I get some sort of sensing that she will explode if I try to talk to her.

“Helllooo.” I’m next to her now, and she doesn’t want to reply to me; her eyes are on mine, eyebrows furrowed and clearly sending a message: Don’t even say anything.

I feel myself smiling because she looks very adorable. She is much shorter than I am. When she’s angry, I’m never able to take her seriously. I don’t think I ever have. Oftentimes in her fits of anger I am caught admiring her, smiling because I think she is so dramatic. When we were 15 she once yelled at me for using her charger, and apparently ‘making her phone charge slower’. She is one of the angriest and most short tempered people I know, yet I think she pulls off the frustrated pout and narrowed eyes very well. It doesn’t matter much to me.

“I’m not gonna ask what’s up with you because you got mad when I did.”

She looks forward again and we are still walking. Her house is still a few blocks down. I think she’s getting tired, too. I shouldn’t have dragged her to get milk tea with me. This path is too narrow to fit the two of us.

I walk in front of her and I can hear her tongue clicking out of annoyance. I bend down and stretch my arms, “Get on my back”.

I feel weight shifting onto my upper back, her long hair is tickling my neck but I don’t mind. Her arms are tired, slow in their movements as they wrap around me too, her head on my right shoulder and she does not say a word in all of it.

“Thank you.” she is whispering to me a few minutes later, and I think I am getting tired too. My legs want to give out. They don’t because I don’t let them.

It’s another 10 minutes and I’m at her front door, unlocking it using the key in her wallet; her parents are on the couch and watching TV and I start to wonder what this would look like to them.

“Ajax?” Her mother turns her head around and is surprised to see me, considering I wasn’t calling to say I was coming over. I haven’t done that in months.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s just tired, that’s all.” I tell her and I try my best not to speak too loud in case the girl on my back wakes up. I can feel her breaths on my back, slow and controlled. I bring her upstairs to her room and I lay her on her bed. Her room has changed quite a bit since I had last been in it, her desk is much more organised than it was a few months ago.

I found myself rejecting her invitations to hang out in her room over the summer break.

I think if I were to be alone in a room with her for too long I would end up blurting it out. I would tell her I’ve loved her since we started being friends, and she’d kick me out of her house and never talk to me again. But now she’s sleeping and I think I’m okay, so I pull her blankets over her and whisper; “Goodnight, I love you”.

—

YOU: I have no idea what day it is. I feel sticky. I look around and after a few seconds I sigh out of relief, realising this is my house, and these are my bedsheets. I don’t remember how I got here, though, my uniform is still on and the last thing I can recall is me on Ajax’s back.

I reach for my phone but realise it’s dead. A post-it note is next to my nightstand, ‘You’re welcome for the ride back. Call me when you wake up You owe me’, and on the bottom right corner there is an ugly and disproportionate cat drawn.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to remove my socks for me, but I guess that’s fair because I don’t think I’d go anywhere near his feet either.

I plug my phone into my charger and wait. I don’t know if he wants me to call him, but I think I should, I want to.

28 days later and i’m back with this shitty fic — 130423

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #childe fluff #childe x reader #childe angst #childe x reader fluff #childe x reader angst #genshin angst #genshin fluff #genshin x reader fluff #genshin x reader angst #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia fluff #tartaglia angst

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daniel-profeta · 1 year

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top 10 songs of all time?

Changes everyday, but in no particular order some of my more consistent favorites are:

The front bottoms - Twin Sized Mattress

Car Seat headrest - Kimochi Warui *so many options here, but to pick one from this band...*

Tool - Lateralus

The Mountain Goats - Best Ever Death Metal Band Out of Denton

Phoebe Bridgers - I Know the End

Elliott Smith - King's Crossing

AJJ - People II The Reckoning

At this point I started to think harder about the songs that have meant the most to me throughout my life and as I've gotten older. For example, I like a lot of Bright Eyes songs more than First day, but that song has had way more impact on me. I play it all the time, the lyrics are permanently imprinted in my mind, and to me it's one of the most beautiful and vulnerable love songs ever written. With that in mind more and more "important" songs started coming to mind.

8. Alex G - Forever 9. Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life 10. Johnny Hobo - New Mexico Song

Now I have ten, that was easy.

Except...

I remembered that one Demarco song that makes me cry everytime I hear it. Got to include that. How many times have I listened to the Glow pt 2 during the summer? How could I leave off something from Porcupine Tree, the band that I once considered my favorite band of all time? So I kept going, through names and bands that I collect like emotional trophies, not wanting to leave anything out. They all mean so much, it's honestly pathetic. I used to hyperfixate on things like Zelda and Star Wars, then I found this shit and my brain chemistry has been altered ever since.

11. Mac Demarco - Moonlight on the River 12. Mitski - Texas Reznikoff 13. The Microphones - I Want the Wind to Blow 14. Pigeon Pit - Nights like These 15. Radiohead - Exit Music 16. The Crane Wives - Never Love an Anchor

Funny how quickly a song can feel like home. That Crane Wives song technically shouldn't even be here, I only heard it for the first time a few weeks ago. Yet maybe listening to it 30 times since qualifies it for consideration. Phoebe Bridgers has a lyric in one of her songs about wishing she had written something instead of the original artist, but she can't cause they said it first. So instead she'll learn their song and sing until the feverish inspired feeling fades away in a voyeuristic catharsis.

I think about that line constantly. Also quickly want to mention here that I'm more of an album guy. I try to listen to full records to try an experience the full piece of art the creator made. So while no song off The Downward Spiral is on my list of favorite songs, that was and is one of the most impactful albums to me as a teenager.

17. Porcupine Tree - Arriving Somewhere but not Here 18. XTC - Dear God 19. Wilco _ I am trying to break your heart 20. NIN - Burn 21. Lucy Dacus - Night Shift 22. Haley Heynderickx - Oom Sha La La 23. Swans - New Mind

Swans was hard, because there were a few songs that meant a lot to me. But ultimately there wasn't one more visceral or frankly more evil sounding than New Mind. Love the themes, love the singing style, love the backing yells, love the industrial outro, love the faint organ, love everything about that damn song.

The list kept getting longer, and for each song I was writing a paragraph to explain my choice lol. After the first like 15 I decided to stop doing that for the sake of your eyes and for risk of sounding redundant. But a major thing I love about some of these songs are how inspirational they are. Twin Sized Mattress, Denton Metal Band, Story of an Artist, they all paint a picture of the type of person I want to be. The type of art I will always support. The thing I hope to one day inspire in other people.

When you punish a person for dreaming their dream don't expect them to thank or forgive you. The best ever death metal band out of Denton, will in time both outpace and outlive you.

Those words could honestly save someone's life, it's crazy.

24. A Perfect Circle - Three Libras 25. Deftones - Rosemary 26. Frank Ocean - Ivy 27. November Suite - The Tower 28. Daniel Johnston - Story of an Artist 29. Sloppy Jane - Jesus and Your Living Room Floor 30. Big Thief - Not 31. Tyler the Creator - Boredom 32. Duster - The Landing 33. The Velvet Underground - Sunday Morning 34. The Voidz - Human Sadness 35 - 108. System of a Down - (every song) 109. Death Grips - Beware

Okay, threw these and now dozens more names are crowding my brain, and this incredibly pretentious post must come to an end. Long story short, I only have one song left to share, but each of these song has a very personal connection to me. Certain ones (like that tool song) actually changed the way I look at the world and helped me through dark periods of my life.

Many of them inspire me, some of them are just beautiful in a broken and real sorta way, and all of them feel human. The art represents something bigger than itself and the ambition knows no bounds. These songs changed my world for the better, and if you read this you are now obligated to listen to all of them.

I could ramble about music till the end of time:)

finally 110. 100 Gecs - Money Machine

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mygloviesme · 6 months

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cool about it. || myg

no. 12: I let you lie

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 3.8k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn, fluff

chapter warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), mentions of mental health, throwing up, smut (face riding, nipple play? girl idk)

inspo song: moon song by phoebe bridgers

MARCH 8TH, 2012, 10:20AM

I give Jungkook a glare that he’s too tired to be aware of. He walks out of the room as a whole, leaving me to clean up after myself. I wash my hands and soon after brushing my teeth. Cleaning my mouth of the gross, oddly sweet, acidity that hid in the tiny crevices of my gums. After gargling some mouthwash I make an unconscious decision not to shower.

My body is aching way too much to commit to that sort of self care.

I walk, or stumble, over to Yoongi who is still sleeping soundly. I want to leave him alone and let him enjoy his sleep but who am I if not a needy person that enjoys his presence and kisses him sometimes?

Shut up.

I blow on his face lightly, but no movement. Yoongi-ah….I say softly. No movement. I kiss his forehead and play with his hair for a little. Okay, for a while. My knees start hurting for how long I’ve been crouching, so I result in giving him a light shove. He groans in response.

“Come here.” He asks in a half-asleep daze. I abide happily, taking up the spot next to his body.

“No. On top of me.” He specifies.

W-What?

I blurt out a laugh, “I’m not sure what you mean. Are you thinking straight?” I poke at his side playfully.

His eyes widen all of a sudden, his tone serious. “I am.”

I hear a soft dominance in his voice that I haven’t heard before. I don’t waste another second and start to climb on top of him but his fingers tug on the waistband of my sweatpants, “Do you think you could take these off?” He asks softly. I’m not sure why he’s asking, but the sweetness of his voice is enough for me to agree to whatever he asks me to.

Even the contact of his knuckles on my torso sent a chill down in places that I’m too embarrassed to speak on.

He looks so curious, like he was wondering if I would actually do it.

I sit back down to rustle the sweatpants off, tossing them to the side. I climb back on top of him so his waist is between my thighs. “I love feeling your weight on me.” He confesses. My face grows into a blushful smile, “W-Why?” I stutter.

“Dunno.” He mumbles, his hands traveling to my butt. He gives it a gentle caress, “Is this okay?”

“Yes.” I say quickly, eager for him to know how absolutely okay this all was.

There’s a flood that grows in my underwear, leaving a damp spot I hope Yoongi doesn’t notice. His fingers trail to my thighs, his thumbs nearing just above my lower area. The pad of his fingers massage deeply, and I like to think he loves all the teasing he’s doing.

I can’t help the movement of my hips, wanting to ride out the pleasure. He hums and plays with the middle of my underwear, tracing lines where my clit would be. Suddenly the embarrassment I was feeling about him seeing me soaked for him is all gone now. I’m blinded by the sight of his wanting eyes on me.

“Yoongi…” I whimper. I want more from him, I want his fingers to feel just how messy he makes me. How just being on top of him makes my imagination twist and turn. I place my hands over his, leading him to the entrance of my underwear. He doesn’t take my hint, though. He looks at me once again, “Do you wanna…sit on my face?” He whispers.

I’m taken aback by his request.

Sit…on his face?

Not even Haneul asked me to do any of the sort. Not like he never gave me oral, it was just never this…erotic. This vulnerable. The idea of planting myself on his face was something I never thought about, but now that I have the image in my head…It’s all I want to do.

I gulp and nod, waiting for his que. He removes the pillow behind his head and repositions himself, gesturing to me to start. It’s a bit awkward admittedly. I’m convinced this is a first for him too, but it’s so natural the way he grips my hips to assist me. Once I’m hovering, ready and in-view for him, he slides my underwear to the side and pushes me down on his opened mouth.

I gasp from the warmth of his mouth, but more so of how well I seem to fit on his face. I look down to see his eyes closed as he focuses his tongue moving around my clit. I hold onto the top of the headboard, leaning my cheek against the cold wood.

“O-Oh…” Is all I can muster while his mouth envelopes my insides.

My body shakes as I move my cunt slowly, getting a rhythm down. God, I cannot believe this is happening or that he even thought of this. I wonder if this is something he fantasized about. That thought alone makes me push myself onto his tongue further.

My grip on the wood gets progressively tighter and my knuckles nearly whiten. There’s only animalistic noises coming out of me, loud and begging. His hands continue to grab at my thighs, encouraging my movement. His tongue is almost robotic as he continues to go over the same spot that makes me whimper, scream his name. Honestly, either he knows that it’s the spot I like or he just likes hearing me say his name.

This foreign position makes me closer, faster than usual. But I don’t want the moment to end just yet. I hold onto the bed as I lift myself from his mouth to sit next to him, out of breath. He looks properly confused and his lips glistens from my fluids, his chin shiny and eyes glossy. It’s so hot but I’m too lightheaded to enjoy it.

“W-Wha? Did you not like it?” He asks, wiping his mouth.

“N-No,” I say shakily, “I just don’t want to come yet.”

He gives a cheeky smile and sits up, “Why is that?”

I swallow the embarrassment I’m getting from voicing my wants, but I know it’ll all be worth it. Hopefully.

“I-I want you to use your fingers.” I mumble. He crawls over to me and cradles my cheeks with his hands, “I need specifics.” He asks, painfully teasing me. He knows what I want, or has an idea. But he wants to hear it from me. He wants to know I want him inside me. I want him knuckle deep, finger-fucking me. God. I need it so badly.

“I want your fingers i-inside of me.” I whisper and finally lock eyes with his.

He nods slowly, his reply silent, placing one hand on my chest to push me gently down on the bed. He lifts the sweater I’m wearing, the one that belongs to him, uncovering my breasts. He kisses me gently first and I realize I’ve been without them this whole time.

He sucked on my clit before even giving me a peck, and that’s somehow special to me personally.

He travels his lips so they drag along my skin, licking the strip between my revealed chest. He moves his tongue to my left nipple, nipping at it softly.

I moan quietly in response, feeling his mouth suck on me soon after. He takes care of me like this for a good while and I enjoy every second of it. There’s no rush for him at this moment, no responsibilities or chores we have to get to. It’s just us in this empty room. With six boys probably waiting on us, but we don’t know that yet nor do we care.

He switches to my other breast and gives my nipple a playful tug just like last time. Except now he only flicks his tongue, making me think back to when I was on top of him just a second ago. There’s a feeling I get that I knew I had before, but it’s more this time. It’s scary, it’s uncharted territory. No, don’t get in your head. Stop overthinking.

But what if he feels the same? What if he’s wondering what we are? What if he feels used, like I only want him to give me this sexual pleasure and then not call him my boyfriend? I’m not sure if this is what I want, this feeling I mean. These old thoughts are coming back to fruition and they’re pulling me out of the-

“Kanako?” I hear Yoongi, who is now sitting up. I realize my sweater is still bundled up so I bring it back down in an awkward move. “Yeah, sorry. I know…I just got distracted.” I say.

“O-Oh, did it not feel good?”

“No that’s not it at all! I just don’t think I want to…do this anymore.” I mumble, looking down at my now crossed bare legs. He’s a little bewildered from my sudden change but isn’t upset. I notice he looks worried. He shouldn’t be. Or should he? Should we both worry about where this is leading?

“Where are you going?” He asks, looking at my zoned-out face.

“W-What?”

“You’re thinking about something.”

I shake my head vigorously, “No I’m not!”

He positions his hand on my thigh, “Tell me what’s bothering you. Let me in, right?”

I bite my quivering lip, “I don’t know if right now is a good time.”

Yoongi stares at me blankly, “I think right now is the perfect time.”

He’s right, it is. Just like I said before. But It’s the fact that I can’t say it. I can’t be the one to ask about it, to bring it up. It’s too painful. I’m not ready.

“I can’t.” I say with tears welling up in my eyes. I sense the familiarity of my breath hitching, knowing he’s going to need more. As he should, he deserves to know. Spit it out, Kanako.

“Baby-”

“What is this? What are we? And would you be upset if I said I couldn’t label us yet? O-Or that I want it to be. Labeled, I mean. But I have this relentless guilt because I feel like a ticking time bomb and you don’t deserve that. A-And what’s going to happen when you debut? When you’re so busy and we can’t be together like we are right now?”

“Kanako-”

“I feel like there’s a deadline, Yoongi!” I say, now sobbing. “I-I feel so many things but I-”

“Kanako. I love you.”

What? No, no, no. No. Take it back.

“I know you do. I love all of you guys-”

“You’re not hearing me. I love you.”

My mind races as he continues, his words sounding foreign. Like I've forgotten my native tongue, like I’ve been concussed.

JUNE 11TH, 2011, 12:19AM

The stars are especially bright tonight, and so are Haneul’s eyes as they look at me. His hair is perfectly tucked into the beanie I got him for his birthday earlier this month. We’re sitting in this sketchy park that we frequented very often for the sole purpose of being hidden. No one could find us here, see us here, hear us here. We were completely alone.

We usually aren’t here as late as this, though. But he insisted I come with him, he said me being there would make the night sky shine brighter.

That’s the thing about Haneul. His tongue could spit poison and malice whenever he felt like. In those small moments where he considered like I was deserving of human decency, though, he never held back. He used his songwriting skills as a weapon to soak me up and wring me out.

He brushes my hair behind my ear in a gentle manner, looking at me while I stare at the constellations.

“I swear sometimes I can make out your face in the stars if I look long enough.” I whisper, his gaze still locked in on me.

“Kanako, I love you. I know it’s so early but I-”

“Iloveyoutoo.” I blurt out. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life than those three words. They sound almost perfect as they roll off my tongue. I love him too.

His smile is so big as he takes in my lips, kissing me with force and passion. We fall naturally onto the grass and he’s quick to place his knee between my legs. He continues to repeat I love you I love you I love you like they’re the only words he knows.

The way he loves me is like being hit with endless waves. That’s how I think of it. When you swim back up only to get hit with a gust of water, burning your nose and filling your lungs. There’s not one life ring in sight, not one person on land who’s reaching for their hand. But I thought that’s what love was. More hurting. I thought I had to persevere through it to get to some imaginary side that I’d end up never finding.

He would forever leave me to drown in the water and expect me to find my way out. I’m still stuck there. I’m still drowning. Why did I ever expect Yoongi to be my life ring?

MARCH 9TH, 2012, 6:27PM

I’ve been busying myself in the kitchen practically the whole day. I convinced Jin to let me handle the birthday festivities out of care but also out of avoidance from Yoongi. Me and Yoongi didn’t even share a room together that night after I told him I needed time alone. After he told me he loved me. He respected my wishes, but this morning when I wished him a happy birthday, he didn’t look at me once. It hurts, this hurts. This is exactly why I should’ve never even begun this.

I’m rolling the homemade cookie dough I made between my hands a little aggressively and a curious Jungkook notices.

“You oka-”

“No, get in here. Help your friend with these cookies.” I mutter quickly. He puts down his box of banana milk and takes over what I was doing while I pace. He turns around while rolling the balls of cookie dough and follows me with his eyes.

I rub my forehead while I think, think, and think. The memory of Yoongi’s face falling when I didn’t reciprocate doesn’t leave my head. It’s burned a hole through my frontal lobe and I’m convinced it’s gonna change the trajectory of my life fore-

“Kanako, you're making me nervous.” Jungkook says with a scared face. He places the finished cookies on the parchment paper and wipes his hands, coming up to me. His hands grab my shoulders and he looks at me deeply, “Yoongi told me.”

I wince and nearly collapse, rather dramatically. “God!” I say as Jungkook picks me back up.

“Hey, hey. It wasn’t anything bad. He’s just confused and-and sad.” He speaks fast, not wanting me to break down once again. I know he’s just trying to console me but it’s only paining me more that Yoongi was so sad he confided in the youngest of the group. That says a lot. His go-to is usually-

“Well he actually told all of us If I’m going to be honest.”

“Stop talking!” I cringe and fall onto the kitchen counter, hiding my face behind my folded arms.

He rubs my back and watches me as I fall apart on this counter covered in flour and other miscellaneous baking ingredients. I’ve made one cake, two batches of chocolate cupcakes, and am currently on my third batch of chocolate chip cookies. It’s all I know how to make from scratch. Baking isn’t usually my coping mechanism but it fits the theme of the day so I used that to my advantage. And I wanted it to make up for what I did to Yoongi.

Everything was so fine yesterday after I’d told him, besides his face in that moment that I’m sure will haunt me forever. He still held my hand, kissed me sometimes, and talked to me. But when it came to nightfall and I asked him to sleep in bed with me alone, just us for the first time, he said no. He said no.

“I am also sad and confused.” I muffle.

Jungkook sighs, “I know that. But I mean- do you love him?” He whispers.

I lift my face and give him a glare he’s become familiar with, “Yes, of course I do. Romantically, yes. Absolutely. It’s just…I don’t- it’s…everything is so unclear right now.” I admit with hesitance. There’s as much of a code between me and the boys as there is between them and Yoongi, so I know Jungkook wouldn’t run off to tell him. I think.

“He knows that, we all know that. But don’t you think him telling you that is kind of…”

“Kind of what?”

“Like him promising you that nothing is going to change?”

I huff, “But we don’t know that. I don’t know what will happen once this, like, bubble we’re living in bursts.”

Jungkook looks at me, a little dumbfounded. “You think we’re living in a bubble?”

I position my body so I’m now standing. I look at Jungkook as he slurps on his banana milk, awaiting my answer. “You don’t?” I respond.

His mouth fiddles with his straw, “I think this is how things are going to be forever. Even if we all get busy with the debut I don’t see why we can’t still have sleepovers and dinners together.”

Maybe Jungkook is right, that nothing will change. That they’ll only get a bit busier, but it’s still them I’ll be with at night. It’s still them I’ll be making dinner for and bringing cookies over to. Or

maybe it’s his age, being only fifteen. That’s why he has a bit of an unrealistic stance on all of our futures. I wish I could have his brain for a day.

I give a worried smile and caress his cheek which makes him stop sipping his drink, “I do love you all. You know that right?” I whisper.

He takes my hand that’s on his cheek and holds it to his heart. It’s childish but…that makes it more meaningful. His small acts of affection stand out the most from all the others.

“Of course we do.” He responds gently, “But you really need to tell Yoongi about what you told me. It’s never going to get better if you don’t talk to him about it.”

Moment ended. Although I know it’s for my own well-being, it still hurts.

I sigh, “Put in the cookies for me? All you need to do is slide them in on the top rack and take them out after ten minutes. This batch is specifically for Hoseok and Taehyung ‘cause they like them soft.” I give him instructions that I know he needs, simple as they may be. I leave him to it and wipe off my hands with a napkin and head for Yoongi.

MARCH 9TH, 2012, 6:50PM

I go outside where Yoongi sits on the patio. He has a pencil in his hand and a notebook in the other, writing for a second until he notices my presence.

“Writing a song?” I approach quietly.

He sets down his things and scratches the back of his neck while looking into the distance, “Something like that. I don’t know.” He mumbles. He’s in his usual attire, a hoodie with jeans. His eyes look a bit sunken in and I can only think of the lack of sleep he must’ve gotten. As well as me, yesterday was not something I felt satisfied with enough to get a good night's sleep.

I walk to the bench, “Can I sit?”

“Always.”

I perch myself next to him, leaving an obvious distance between us. The wind is light but still nips at my earlobes. It feels like this is our first interaction with the way we’re not speaking. I don’t like this silence. Usually I accept the awkwardness with open arms, always feeling content with just his company. But it’s not like we’re enjoying nature together. We’re wondering who’s to speak first because neither of us really want to start this conversation.

Instead I look at the notepad between us, the title reading ‘Butterfly’.

“Butterfly?”

He grabs the notebook and shuts it closed, “Just something I thought of. Probably won’t finish it.”

I nod slowly and ignore his hastiness, looking back into the scenery before us. The trees, the island. Perfectly secluded for a nice outing. But this is far from perfect.

“Do you not love me?” He whispers, I wince.

“That’s not it.”

“I wish you would tell me what it is then.”

My expression falls sadly. My heart is so heavy at this moment. My shoulders feel like they’re carrying a tragedy. A burden. I’ve been cursed with the weight of other people’s emotions since I could remember.

“It’s your birthday Yoongi. I don’t wanna-”

“Please Kanako.” He looks at me like he’s been defeated. I hate seeing him like this.

“I do love you,” I say with one big breath, “But it’s all so complicated. I’m still so…damaged. I feel unfit to love someone else like this.”

My but is enough for him to drop his head to his shoes. I know it’s hard for him to hear it at this age. It’s hard for me to say at this age. This love is too grown up for us. This situation is far from immature and neither of us have the experience to deal with it properly. I know that much.

“I get that.” Is all he says.

I place my hand where his is, resting on his thigh. He squeezes our interlaced fingers tightly.

He truly looks at me for one of the first times today, “Just don’t leave me. I don’t care if we have to be friends or whatever after I debut, I just need you. Promise me you’ll stay.”

I give a reassuring smile, “I’ll stay.”

MARCH 9TH, 2012, 7:30PM

Everyone circles around Yoongi who sits at the end of the table. The homemade cake I made sits in front of him and is filled with candles, which I’m sure is a fire hazard. But Taehyung was convinced we had to fit nineteen there, so we did.

The lights are dim so Yoongi’s face is lit up by the candles, with his gummy smile on full display. Everyone sings happy birthday to him loudly and happily like it’ll be one for the books. And as I sing I try to ignore the stinging pain in my stomach.

I’m noticing the boys who’re in their own perfect world and I can’t help but feel like an outsider. Like a fly on the wall, a small nuisance.

He blows out the candles and reaches for my cheek to give a big kiss and I accept it gladly. Seokjin begins taking the candles off before slicing a piece for everyone.

“Come baby, sit down.” He says as he notices me about to get up to grab more plates.

“I want you to be with me.” He whispers in my ear.

“Always.” I respond.

I’m a bad liar.

click here to read more of this story!

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wuntrum · 1 year

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What was your inspiration for signals?

sooo the initial inspiration came from a place of wanting to have a story about a girl who was kind of doomed by the narrative (i remember specifically thinking about abigail hobbs, laura palmer, those types of characters---also the song "i know the end" by phoebe bridgers was big on my mind). the religious angle came from joan of arc, i think i remember thinking about what sort of story i would do a "retelling" of (the green knight also was big on my mind at the time), and also from a movie i had watched called saint maud (need to watch it again to be honest). and the electricity part came from twin peaks again, specifically fire walk with me and the return...i was (and still am) obsessed with how david lynch uses electricity as this like ominous omnipotent force that adds meaning to stuff he had already filmed (like, going back and watching the ceiling fan spin after all the electricity talk in the movie and the return...ough), and so i kind of wanted to follow that thread of thinking for myself and see what came out of it

stylistcally (for the actual pages), my main inspirations were leo fox's comic "prokaryote season" and freddy carrasco's comic "gleem", which are both beautifully drafted and laid out, as well as using the limits of a pixel-y style and limited colors (wanted it to feel like an original gameboy screen kinda)...i doooon't think my comic lives up to either of theirs but they were the main inspiration :)

#signals #asks #lain was surprisingly Not an inspiration. ive only seen an episode and that was like a month ago lol

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corneliaavenue-ao3 · 1 year

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Several Sunlight Daylights: a week-long tribute to Hinny through the power of Taylor Swift. There is a new prompt everyday starting on Taylor's birthday! The title of this celebration is taken from the "several sunlit days" that Harry kissed Ginny, and the song Daylight by Taylor!

Tag your works with #SeveralSunlitDaylights and tag me @GinWiz to help share your work!

December 13: Red. The color of Ginny's hair and the title of one of Taylor's best albums. Be inspired by any of the songs off of Red the album or a lyric that includes the word "red."

December 14: Based off a Bridge. Taylor Civil Engineer Swift is a master of bridges. Create something based off of a bridge! Songs with some great bridges recommendations: Cruel Summer, Death By A Thousand Cuts, Daylight, Dress, King of My Heart, Champagne Problems, Out of the Woods, Getaway Car, Hits Different

December 15: Folklore/Evermore. In 2020, Taylor released two albums that were based off of fictional stories. Let the fictional world of a teenage love triangle, murder of an abusive husband, a wild neighbor, a broken engagement, and many other storylines inspire you.

December 16: Featuring. Taylor has recorded a variety of tracks with many famous artists from Kendrick Lamar to Phoebe Bridgers. Be inspired by a song with a feature (or a song she is featured in!) Bonus points if you feature a suprise character in your work as well.

December 17: In the middle of the night. A recurring theme in Taylor’s music is being haunted by things in the middle of the night, specifically 2 AM, and, most recently, Midnights. Be inspired by the album Midnights or a lyric about night time.

December 18: Lyric as dialogue. Use Taylor Swift lyrics as part of your dialogue. Some lyrics to be inspired by:

"I once believed love would be burning red, but its golden like daylight."

“You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath”

"Back when I was living for the hope of it all"

“You taught me about your past, thinking your future was me”

“Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first”

“I don’t like that falling feels like flying, til the bone crush”

“I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

“I’m a mess, but the mess that you wanted”

“All these people think loves for show, but I would die for you in secret”

“Is this the end of all the endings?”

“For once you let go of your fears and your ghosts”

“One night he wakes, strange look on his face, pauses then says “You’re my best friend”

“Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere”

December 19: Your favorite Taylor Swift song. Write a story based off of your personal favorite Taylor Swift song!

Thank you all to everyone who suggested prompts. I am so excited for this event to get started! Let me know if you have any questions.

#hinny #hp #harryxginny #harry x ginny #ginny weasley #taylor swift #harry potter #fanfiction #fanfic #writing challenge #severalsunlitdaylights #Please please please reblog to spread the word!

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furiosophie · 11 months

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Hellooo

I'm halfway through rereading post·mor·tem for... I don't know how many times already and my friend has already finished it and is dying because of how good it is. The Thranto brainrot is too real, good job, you are one of the best fic writers out there, we will send you the hospital bills.

We were wondering if you listened to any music while writing it or if you have any specific song that helps your inspiration for this ship.

Thank you for writing this, I'm going to pile up some kleenex for when I finish it.

thank u anon, i'm so glad you both like the fic!!!!!

i did listen to music while writing, in fact i can't write anything without music and thus tend to have a playlist for pretty much every one of my fics! here's the one for postmortem:

🪐 post·mor·tem playlist 🪐

yes it's chronological, yes i am aware it's maybe a bit too detailed, and yes if you wanna know exactly which song fits where i left it all under the cut

✨ file 01 // an act of kindness - bastille

tentative friendship

hiding - florence + the machine

they nearly die and start pinning hard

half alive - amber run

violet city - mansionair

they slowly realize they are doomed

hardest of hearts - florence + the machine

thanatos (end of us) - j. maya

thrawn sends eli away

a memory away - matt maeson

✨ file 02 // remind me - bastille

thrawn knows he fucked up but tries to justify it/turn it around

hollow crown - ellie goulding

state lines - novo amor [resurfaced memories]

two evils - bastille

good day lieutenant vanto and aftermath

mercy - shawn mendes

make up your mind - florence + the machine

thrawn admits to himself he lost just as he realizes he loves eli

in between - linkin park

they make up but it still all sucks

one last night - vaults

we have it all - pim stones

✨ borika interlude (eli scenes)

eli struggles with thrawn going MIA

saudade, saudade - maro

✨ file 03 // don’t let go (love) - bastille

ezra and thrawn try to survive together

solitude - M83, felsmann + tiley

i know the end - phoebe bridgers

long & lost - florence + the machine

ezra and thrawn scream into the forest

my tears are becoming a sea - M83

thrawn tries to hold on to the thought of eli while captured

the night we met - amber run

they get rescued

blood // water - grandson

ii.

eli is fucking pissed at thrawn

what kind of man - florence + the machine

blender - 5 seconds of summer

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve - taylor swift

thrawn tries to wrap his head around eli’s anger with the help of mak’ro and broika’s

high water - bishop briggs

the hearse - matt maeson

rescuing thalias and aftermath

love me - wide awake, jacob banks

foreign tongues - crywolf [bathroom scene]

they finally make up

constellations - jade lemac

iii.

they fall into each other's orbit again

war - chance pena

thrawn has to say goodbye to ezra and borika

still - noah kahan

they struggle with their guilt and trauma

daylight - david kushner

final stand

gravitational forces - itg studios

how deep is your love? Mashup - hans zimmer, calvin harris, hozier

they heal and rebuild [thrass grave & tava blossoms]

evergreen - richy mitch & the coal miners

surprise wedding

everything everywhere - noah kahan

they decide to infiltrate the empire again

as it was - hozier

#thranto #postmortem #yes i am aware i'm a bit insane about playlists #i just listen to music pretty much 24/7 so #idk it's bound to happen #soph answers asks

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bowievanfleet · 2 years

Text

it's you [jake kiszka]

pairing: jake x oc (sort of, they have a nickname but y/n still applies!<3)

genre: angstyyy, fluff, enemies to lovers >:)

warnings: mentions of poor mental health and overthinking, cursing, itty bitty tiny mention of skin picking, arguing, emotional whiplash, crying, i am very bad at plot development and dialogue

word count: 4k

inspired by it's u by cavetown :)

a/n: guys!!! its been so long!!!! and i am back with a DOOZY. i don't know what possessed me to write this, maybe the copious amounts of rain we've been getting here is getting to me lmao. but, i am very, VERY happy with how this turned out. this is prob my favorite thing i've written to date. it'll probably be edited/rewritten over time but nothing too dramatic.

also, i'd like to say that the idea to give the reader a nickname to kind of personify them was 100% inspired by the lovely maddie, @hearts-hunger <3 go read her stuff NOW because she's so insanely talented its not even funny. also shoutout to my love @emadamssssssss for helping me out with pepper's backstory. everyone say thank u em!! anyways im done rambling now, i rlly hope u enjoy this. <3

also yes i had to have my little star wars moment at the end. i will not be taking questions or criticisms.

SONGS (v important for this one) its u- cavetown / climing up the walls- radiohead / chinese satellite- phoebe bridgers / i'll be seeing you- billie holiday / lilac wine- nina simone (jeff buckley version also works!)

-----

“oh god, it’s you...”

-----

you genuinely didn’t know why you were there.

something, maybe an invisible string, or a magnetic field, dragged you to his door at 2 am. you stood in the pouring rain, the water mixing with your own tears pouring down your face. you didn’t have any idea what possessed you to come. you tried to go through the reasons in your head: on the outside, you convinced yourself that he was a last resort, that because no one else was picking up the phone, he was the only one you had left to go to.

“better to be with him than by yourself where you would do something stupid.” you would tell yourself, when in reality, you had only called one other person, josh. who didn’t answer likely because he was passed out on his couch with a bottle of tequila on the coffee table, you knew that was his routine on saturdays. you didn’t have the energy nor courage to call anyone else, which led you to your second reason:

that realistically, deep inside of you, you knew the reason you had gone to him was because you simply wanted to be with him. you had to do something to satiate the hunger you had been feeling for the past two weeks since you saw him at one of josh’s stupid parties. your body craved him, your mind craved him, every single cell in your body craved him, and it was embarrassing.��

you guessed it was perfect timing, your racing brain giving you a perfect excuse to go to someone. it wasn’t just the fact you wanted to be with him, you needed to be near anyone. if you sat there on your bed, staring at the walls for one more second you knew you were going to break.

you were overthinking more than you ever had before, mostly about him, but also about everything else. it was all getting too overwhelming, you desperately needed contact with someone, something. it was pathetic to be showing up like this, but what else could you do? text him? “hey, i’ve kinda been thinking about you every single waking moment for the past two weeks, can i come over?” the more you thought about it, the more you realized that even that would’ve been better than standing at his door in the pouring rain.

you don’t know how long you stood there, contemplating if you should knock or not,

before he took it upon himself to make the decision for you. you jumped slightly as the door jerked open, earthy eyes taking in your state with a confused and concerned spark in them.

you were confused as well, until you remembered that doorbells with cameras existed. you looked over to it, silently cursing it. you looked back to the eyes staring at you, and realized what a contrast you two must be.

he looked the softest you’d ever seen him, in a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old oversized guns n roses shirt. his face had a golden glow to it, courtesy of the various wax warmers and candles that were placed on almost every surface of his home. they reflected off of his eyes, making them seem almost caramel instead of the dark brown you would often see.

it softened them, turned them from a stony tigers eye to a dark topaz. the sight of him and the energy radiating off of him was almost enough to stop the tears streaming down your face, but then started them all over again as you realized how gentle and beautiful he was. how pathetic was that? his beauty brought tears to your eyes.

his facade was gone, he was no longer cold and cocky, dark and stoic. he was looking at you like he didn’t want to rip you to shreds for once.

you had only seen this once before, when he was drunk at josh’s house and you were the only two left in the living room. he was falling in and out of sleep on the couch, and after watching him for a while, you finally trotted over to him and draped a blanket over his half-asleep body. his eyes snapped open at you, but they weren’t hostile. they were almost... loving. appreciative. adoring.

you went to stand up to go to the guest room, but he caught your hand before you could get too far. you stayed like that for a moment, watching him stare at your hand in his, then with a slow, deliberate stroke of his thumb against your hand, he gently let go.

he looked at you for a split second, and then rolled over on the couch, bringing the blanket up to his chin and cuddling around it. you spent all night wishing he was beside you in the guest bed.

“...pepper?” he asked tentatively. you were snapped out of your thoughts by the nickname he had assigned to you so long ago. you thought for a second about the stupid name he had reserved for you-

you were friends with josh for a while before you got introduced to his family. you were college roommates, and one night he finally decided to invite his brothers over for dinner in your apartment.

you decided you’d make a hearty meal of kraft mac n cheese, but with added seasonings to make it “gourmet” as you and josh liked to call it.

when you were mixing up all the seasonings, you put in a little too much pepper than needed, but you panicked and just started mixing it around, trying to even it out as much as possible.

when you awkwardly served everyone, waiting for their reaction, jake was the only one to speak up. “jesus christ this tastes like shit” he said. everyone immediately turned to look at him with wide eyes, surprised and embarrassed that he would be that outright.

“what?!” he shrugged. “just being honest. if you're gonna make dinner for us at least make it good.” he said, but continued to eat the pasta anyway.

josh looked at you sympathetically. “it tastes fine y/n, just a little spicy.” he reassured. and it turned out, by the end of the night, everyone’s half eaten bowl of mac n cheese ended up on the counter next to jake's empty one.

if you had known him better, you would’ve teased him relentlessly. but instead, upon doing the dishes, you smiled fondly at the empty bowl. the first of many small signs that there wasn’t all hostility between you two.

that didn’t make the name stick, however. what made “pepper” become official was at one party the twins had thrown. you and josh were busy setting up everything beforehand, while jake was on a beer run. “what do you wanna start out with?” josh asked, flaring his hands dramatically toward the family’s extravagant vinyl collection. “hmmm...” you debated, kneeling down to scour through the records. once you found what you were looking for you demanded josh to turn around, wanting it to be a surprise. you carefully placed the needle on the black disc, the opening sounds of sgt, pepper’s lonely hearts club band ringing out into the spacious living room.

josh instantly turned around with a grin, taking your hands in his obnoxiously, the both of you starting to scream out, “IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY, SERGEANT PEPPER TAUGHT THE BAND TO PLAY!”

you loved moments with josh like this, screaming out songs you both loved, not a care in the world. you always felt so alive. that was, until you heard the door open, choosing to ignore it until you saw his figure stalk through the doorway.

he gave you a simple scoff and an eye roll, before quickly taking the bags in his hands to the kitchen and returning to the living room archway, leaning against it in a manner that made you want to storm over there and kick him.

“you’re just pepper all the way around aren’t you?” he teased, you flipping him off while josh muttered a “shut the fuck up, jake.”

you started toward the kitchen to start setting the drinks out, jaw clenched in irritation.

why did he have to ruin everything? you were having a great time with josh, your own sunshine, before the rain had to storm in and drown it out.

“awe, did i make you upset, pepper? i’m sorry.” he mocked, fake pity in his tone. “just fuck off.” you gritted, tring to focus on getting the drinks set out. “of course pepper, anything for you.” he teased, raising his hands in surrender and stalking off somewhere else in the house.

you stared at each other for a long while, almost talking with your eyes.

after a moment, his flashed with a gentleness you had never before seen in your entire time of knowing him, not even that night on the couch, and the only thing you knew, right then and there, was that you needed to be in his arms.

you let out a shaky exhale, “jake-” you sobbed, all but lunging toward him. your body crashed into his, your arms winding around his middle and your head finding a home in his neck.

he stood frozen for a second, obviously not expecting your sudden action, but after half a second of hesitation, he closed his eyes and let you melt into him, wrapping his own hands around you slowly, one belting around your lower back to keep you upright and the other going to the back of your head, threading through your hair and scratching your scalp lightly.

he would switch between scratching your head once he figured out you liked it, and slowly rubbing his hand over your hair, smoothing it down.

the two actions made you cry even harder, your hands finding their way up his body and around his neck, trying to get as close as humanly possible to him. if you had it your way, you would melt your body into his. you wanted to mold him for the rest of time, to never ever let go, to always have his body pressed to yours.

you knew this was the worst thing you could ever do, because the second this was over, you’d never be able to live without touching him again. you’d need it like you need air to breathe. every second of every day you'd need it. how would you be able to go on after this? constantly craving his arms around you, his hands anywhere and everywhere on you, his breath letting out soft puffs against your skin. you didn’t want to even think about it right now, so you let him hold you while you held him.

he must’ve felt the same way about letting go, so instead of pulling away, he took his arm off your back to close the door softly, immediately returning it.

he walked backwards to the couch, sitting you down without ever loosening his grip on you. he laid back, pulling you with him as he pushed your face gently into his chest, giving you something to cry on.

you laid there for what felt like hours, even though it was probably only ten minutes, before all that was audible anymore was your occasional sniffle and his gentle breathing.

“y/n...?” he whispered, still stroking your hair. “yeah?” you squeaked, bracing yourself for the arguing and embarrassment and teasing to start. but it never did.

“what happened?” he asked, concern evident in his voice and you knew he genuinely cared about your response. but that scared you. why would he care about your feelings? it surprised you that he was even touching you right now, let alone asking about you.

it was an act of human decency that he usually didn’t show. jake kiszka couldn’t give two fucks about anyones feelings excpet maybe his brothers’.

you leaned up on your hands, hovering over him. you stared at each other again, his hands finding a home on your back, yours resting on either side of his face. you slowly sat up, forcing his arms to drop from you.

“i’m sorry. i don’t know why i came here. just- no one else was answering and it was all getting too much and i just didn’t know where else to go and-”

“hey.” he interrupted, grabbing your hands from where they came up to cover your face. “i don’t want you to apologize i just.. want to know why you came to me.” he said, trying to choose his wording carefully.

you chewed on your lip, trying to come up with an answer before you realized the only one you had come up with involved being vulnerable, and you were absolutely not in the right state for vulnerability right now, despite the fact you had just cried into his chest.

you got up and walked to the kitchen, searching for water and trying to buy a few minutes. you knew exactly where he kept them, so you grabbed one and went back to sit on the couch, further away from him this time. he noticed this, a flash of disappointment coming over his face.

he looked at you as you drank your water and set it down, being the most patient you’ve ever seen him.

you stared at nothing for a moment, noticing how his hands clenched and unclenched, as if he was yearning to touch you again. you were yearning too, but you couldn’t touch him again until you knew for certain that this wouldn’t be the only time.

“jake...” you trailed, both of your eyes holding so much intensity. he gave a look of realization, finally reaching to grab your hands like he had been so desperate too. you flinched away instinctively, you were going to keep your word on not touching him again. you started to get frustrated, “why do you all of a sudden care so much? you should’ve just fucking told me to go home the minute you saw me.”

that cold facade slipped back on his face, a look of confusion and disappointment taking his face. “did you just want me to leave you out there in the fucking rain?! cause i would’ve been glad to do that if you really wanted me to, you should've just said so.”

“well you’ve never cared before!”

“i’m not heartless y/n!!” he hissed, pointing an accusing finger at you.

“you think i am but I'm not. i just don’t see the point in wearing it on my fucking sleeve all the time.” that hurt. you’d always been a very outwardly emotional person, it was one of your biggest weaknesses, and to hear it being used against you stung like hell. he saw that comment affected you but he kept going.

“if i was heartless, i wouldn’t have sat here and fucking held you like i did. as much as i fucking hate touching you, i did it to comfort you. because i'm not as cold as you think i am y/n.” your head snapped up, something he said catching your attention.

“why do you hate touching me?” you inquired, brows furrowed. he shut his eyes for a second, before he dodged the question.

trying to be as soft as he could again, he spoke, “why did you come here, pepper?”

you thought for a second. “i don’t know. i just needed someone. i couldn’t be by myself anymore.”

“why not?” he questioned, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

“because my mind would’ve driven me insane.” you admitted, looking down at your hands in your lap, picking at your nails.

you were hyper-aware of the fact that you were slowly drifting more and more towards him.

“what were you thinking about?” he questioned softly.

“jake i can’t do this right now. i can’t talk about this.”

“then i ask again, why did you come here?!” he almost begged for an answer. you finally looked back up at him, trying to distract yourself with the melting chocolate of his eyes. somehow he must’ve known your answer, he could always read you like an open book.

he could tell that you two were on the same page, you just weren’t ready to be that vulnerable with him. so, he gave you a head start.

“you wanna know why i hate touching you?” he asked, his voice tense. you sniffled and gave a nod. he leaned in closer to you.

“because you, you are so fucking addicting that if i touch you i almost can’t let go. you have no idea how hard it was to let you go just now. i’m so hopelessly desperate for you, pepper. now, i have a good idea of why you came here. but i need to hear you say it, baby.” the pet name pushed you over the edge, and before you knew it, the tears were back and you were babbling out your confession.

“it’s you, jake. it’s always been you.” you sobbed, leaning forward to press your forehead to his chest. he finally reached up to your hair again, almost audibly breathing a sigh of relief when his hands finally made contact with you again.

“and i’m scared. i’m so scared of how i feel right now. its a need- i need you. i need to be near you. but i can’t- we can’t. we’re not good for eachother, we never have been jake. we bring out the worst in each other.”

“i know, i know.” he soothed. “i feel it too y/n, i’ve always felt it. from the moment i saw you. it’s terrifying.” he agreed, and all you could muster was a small nod in understanding.

“you make me want to be better. sometimes that feels good, the fact that i can change for you, to make you happy. but a lot of the time... it feels like it’ll never be enough.” he confessed. “jake, i don’t expect you to change for me. i don’t want you to.” he soaked in the words, leaning down to rest his cheek on the top of your head.

“you know, i think you bring out the best in me. you know damn well i wouldn’t do this with anyone else.” he chuckled. you let out a small laugh too, leaning more into his chest. “jake im so scared. t-this feeling... it's so strong, too strong. why do you do this to me?” you begged. “i could ask you the same thing.” he said, hugging you tighter.

“we have so much to work out before we can do anything. i mean we can't even go 10 minutes without arguing. jake we hurt each other too much.” you reasoned, trying to convince yourself more than him.

“love is supposed to hurt, isn't it?” he countered.

love.

you knew that’s what it was, you were just far too scared to actually address it. loving someone that had been heartless and selfish to you for the past 7 years wasn’t possible. but if it wasn’t, then why did you feel the need to have his body near yours at all times? there was a part of you, and you could feel it in him too, that needed to have the pain soothed by him. it was like a fire burning in your stomach, and he was the water to put it out. his arms were where you were supposed to be. forever.

“we can’t walk away from this anymore, baby.” he added, making your body shake again with sobs. that's all you wanted to do. you wanted to run away and never see him again.

that way, maybe the fire would die out and leave tiny embers that could be satiated by someone else. but you knew. you knew no one could put it out but him. he was the only one that possessed the right water to extinguish the flame of yearning in you. and you knew you were the only one to put out his.

and so, you let him hold you as you cried for the second time that night, grabbing at each other to get impossibly closer. you knew there was no going back now, that you were about to walk off the diving board and never get back up. but you wanted it. you knew you needed it.

“there’s too much going against us.” you borderline begged. begged him to find a way out of this, begged him to push you away, to kick you out, to do something to stop it. vulnerability was your worst enemy.

“pepper. look at me.” he demanded, forcing your head up with your chin tucked between his fingers. “something has been drawing me to you for nearly 7 years. i’m not walking away from it now that we’ve finally got it out in the open. we have to move on. what’s past is past, and what we have now is everything we need. what are you scared of, darling?” he asked gently.

“...vulnerability.” you admitted. he let out a sigh, maneuvering you so you were in his lap. “it's scary isn’t it, pepper?” he soothed, running a run up and down your back. you nodded pathetically. curling into him more.

“you know what irritates me the most about you?” he asked, but not hostile. you scoffed. “everything?” you guessed.

“no. not everything. there's a million little tiny things, but not everything. the biggest one though, is no matter how hard you try, you can't hide. no matter how much you duck and run, i would be able to pull you out of a crowd of a million people. no matter how hard you try to keep your head down and blend with other people, you can’t, not to me. you stand out like a goddamn star. that's what irks me the most." he said softly.

“am i supposed to take that as a compliment?” you laughed.

“mhm. it’s painful for me but you should know. sometimes i feel like you and me are the only two people in the room. you drown everyone else out.” he confessed as your eyes filled up with tears again, but not sadness this time.

this time, it was an overwhelming blanket of love that draped over you.

the relief that you were wanted by him. that you stood out to him as much as he did to you. you lifted your face from its place on its chest, resting your chin there instead so you were looking up at him.

he softly took a strand of damp hair from your cheek, tucking it into place behind your ear. “see? i was vulnerable with you. now its your turn.” he encouraged lightly.

you looked up at him for a second more. the words were on the tip of your tongue, running through your brain over and over again- iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou

you finally found your voice:

“i think i love you, jake.” you stated, voice faltering near the end. he cupped your jaw in his hand,

“i know.” he nodded, his eyes filling with tears too as your hands threaded through his hair, clutching at every part of him you could reach, as your lips finally melted into his.

#gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake kiszka x reader #jake gvf #peaceful army #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fic #sam kiszka #josh gvf #gvf one shot #gvf imagine #gvf fluff

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the-tortured-artists-department · 2 months

Text

✨ about me ✨

name: hannah (she/her)

age: 28

favourite songs: willow - taylor swift, garden song - phoebe bridgers, let the light in (feat. father john misty) - lana del rey, my tears ricochet - taylor swift, & dreams - the cranberries

favourite albums: pang - caroline polachek (2019), folklore - taylor swift (2020) & punisher - phoebe bridgers (2020)

favourite movies: marie antoinette (2006), emma. (2020) & jane eyre (2011)

I'm a screenwriter and embroidery artist based in Ontario, Canada with a degree in History and Screenwriting. I have a beautiful tortie cat named Brave, who is both my muse and insistent manager. I am currently working towards my goal to see my original screenplay picked up by a production company, so that it can one day (hopefully) be enjoyed on the big screen. I am at the stage where I am trying to enter my project into as many screenplay competitions as possible to get my work seen by agents/producers…which can unfortunately be expensive. To fund my dream, I began to create embroidered artwork inspired by the things that make me happy, which means lots of pieces inspired by Taylor's music. Since opening my shop on ko-fi in October 2023, I had the amazing opportunity to craft commissions and even sell a piece to one of my favourite athletes. Each piece I make is original, handmade, and completely unique.

If you would like to support me in anyway, please know that I am eternally grateful for every like, reblog, or purchase of my work. It means the world to me ✨

Shop: ko-fi.com/musaedesigns

Instagram: musae.embroidery

#about me

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eomma-jpeg · 9 months

Text

In The Meadow - Music Analysis

i said i was gonna post bc i love music analysis and i love my beloved characters, so if you too have an obsession, then this is for you.

The Playlist

I think I may just go down the line

The Meadow - Nickel Creek

This song was one that i just happened to be listening to when I started writing ‘in the meadow’ but i liked it and the kind of… building and dynamic of the relationship in the song that I decided to use the song as inspiration and where i get all the chapter titles lol

Ultimately the relationship in the song doesn’t go anywhere, but the narrator still hears that person they decided to fall in love with, and they use the echo of a voice in the meadow as their reminder and it just,,,, i liked it so much and i still listen to it multiple times a day lol

You and Me - Lifehouse

So this song is specifically on here because of this comic by faestorian

It just…. Yeah, there’s not much to say except its from Knives perspective… and I love him and how easily distracted he is by her.

Not Strong Enough - boygenius

This song,,, just has Knives written all over it. Specifically these lines

I don't know why I am

The way I am

Not strong enough to be your man

I tried, I can't

Stop staring at the ceiling fan and

Spinning out about things that haven't happened

Breathing in and out

I just think it shows Knives’ overthinking and eventual kind of decision that he thinks he’s not enough for her or could never be worthy of the kind of benevolence she gives him, and so he’s trapped in his own mind about stuff

The line ‘i don’t know why i am the way I am’ is repeated throughout the song and… i just felt like knives is always asking himself why he is this way even though he knows but at the same time he doesn’t know why he and vash reacted so differently to the same trauma and its just so frustrating for him.

Also the line ‘Always an angel, never a God’.... thats a good line, especially in the knives context

Liar - Paramore

So liar was on here initially as a millyons song, but has since undergone a vashmeryl transformation, so the song applies to the both of them

Its just a song about how you tried to hide things about yourself from the person you love to keep them safe, but ultimately you realize that the person who you wanted to keep safe was the one doing the protecting, and you don’t know why you ever needed to lie to them

I love this in a millyons context bc i think Knives at first tried to hide himself from Milly, and then ultimately realized ‘why am i doing that? She’s only trying to help me’

It takes a lot for the boy to accept help

In a vashmeryl context, its the both of them… but mostly vash

They just cant figure out why they tried to hide from one another, when its obvious they care so deeply

This second verse is so good for vashmeryl

I got too good at fighting chemicals

And dodging arrows I was asking for

Wading through the fog and then it disappeared

Naked when I'm here

And why should I deny what's all

At once, so crystal clear

And i just really like paramore a lot

The Bomb - Florence + the Machine

This song,,,, geez

I initially liked this song for knives and milly, but it works so much better as a song from meryl’s perspective about vash.

It just is told from the pov of a person who has fallen for someone who never does any good for themselves, always getting hurt or hurting others in the process. The line 'unavailability is the only thing that turns you on’ is so raw and very good for meryl as a person who just thinks that vash lives in this constant of ‘i want so many things i can never have’ and thinks he can never have them

And yet meryl is always there to try and give him anything

And then the second half of the song it switches, the narrator is now explaining that that is what they have fallen for, the destruction and unavailability and the chaos

They just love to convince themselves that they love each other for the worst reasons.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

So savior complex was added to accompany the idea that Milly herself has one, and this song is just one of my all time favorites and I needed it to be included

The relationship in the song is kind of implied to go poorly (as most one sided savior complex relationships do) but i love the lyrics to the build up

Crocodile tears, run the tap 'til it's clear

Drift off on the floor

I drag you to the shore

Sweating through the sheets

You're gonna drown in your sleep, for sure

I think,,, these lyrics relate quite well to how milly felt in the beginning of ‘in the meadow’, just desperate to help and seeing his own desperation for something different, a change, and Milly decides she going to do whatever it takes to help him through it

Crave - Paramore

I just love paramore. I’d put their entire new album on this playlist if i could

This song is uhhh from Knives’ perspective and his just desire to remember everything about Milly. Every moment of every day is just, he craves it. He wants to be near her even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

The song also delves into like, unhealthy practices and how you still crave those terrible times because of the familiarity,,,,,, and if that isn’t knives i don’t know what is

‘I romanticize even the worst of times’

(You) On My Arm - Leith Ross

This song is just a silly “I would do anything for you” song from Knives’ perspective.

It just talks about the most mundane things and being in love and im just a sap for knives becoming a sap for milly.

Apple Pie - Lizzy McAlpine

This song AHHHH for vashmeryl !!!!!! THE ONE SHOT T-T

It just is about a person who is your home away from home and how no place could be complete without this person and despite moving around and finding new adventures and new beginnings, you wouldn’t be able to do it without that one person

I think that vash is like that about meryl

The story is told from the perspective of a person who is constantly moving and changing, but they need that one consistent of the person they love, and vash is very much that way for me about meryl; he needs to return to her, or at least keep her nearby

Some day we can be in the same city

Some day we'll be grown and I'll be fine with packing up

Cardboard boxes filled and sad farewells

And I'll be fine we'll pack a bag

As long as I don't say goodbye to you as well

I think, eventually vash realizes that home is not a place, because he’s never really had a home except for the seeds ship, and meryl becomes that comfort for him

It’s Alright - Mother Mother

This song… is a doozy

So the main voice of the song is someone overcome with guilt, just unable to kind of forgive themselves for whatever mistakes they’ve made, which I really liked for knives, but the most important part is the second chorus !!!!!

The first chorus is from a first person perspective of the song’s author, but the second chorus is from an outside perspective !!! And I like to think of it as milly comforting knives during moments when he doubts he can be a good person

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not a monster, just a human

And you made a few mistakes

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay

You're not gruesome, just human

And you made a few mistakes

Please just,,, listen to the song and tell me the verses don’t just SCREAM knives

Eraser - Ricky Montgomery

So this song i haven’t had a lot of time to dissect this one, but i think its just kind of a perspective of milly trying to comfort knives despite his flaws and feelings of guilt. The first verse is just the narrator figuring out whats going on, and then it moves into the chorus which provides kind of a solution, stating that the “eraser” doesn’t have to ruin their life over something so small.

I just like the comforting aspect. The voice of the song is convincing their target that everything is okay, and even when its not they can work it out together, avoid anyone else and just breathe

Hate to See Your Heart Break - Paramore

Soooo this song is just chapter 23,,,,, and the both of them (mostly milly) just aching inside because she can see his heart breaking over and over again and it kills her inside, so milly just provides solace and comfort in the fact that thats what being a human is. Sometimes it hurts so much, but she’s there to remind him that there is light and she wants to be that light T-T

For all the air that's in your lungs

For all the joy that is to come

For all the things that you're alive to feel

Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal

My heart hurts anytime i listen to this song cuz i can just see like,,, milly comforting knives in any given scenario, desperate to convince him of the good and hating the pain in his expression

A New Kind of Love - Frou Frou

I really like this song for Vashmeryl because its kind of a dance of the mundane, as well as finding the love within

Because the first verse of the song kind of dabbles in the way the love becomes a branded thing, just something you buy or is fleeting, but the voice of the song and whoever they are addressing find a love despite this new kind of love

I just like vash and meryl finding each other in that classic kind of love, and just eventually realize theyve both fallen hard for one another

I also like the verse that talks about how busy each person has become, and the kind of mundane act of disregarding the person you love because you’re afraid of the outcome…. Yeah

Agoraphobia - Autoheart

Yeah this song was put on there specifically for knives and his innate desire never to leave the house again,,, just kind of lock himself away from the scary aspects of the world and life.

Slow Dancing - Aly & Aj

I love this as a vashmeryl song, specifically them getting to know each other after years of knowing each other,,, y’know?

Just the heartfelt act of having been around one another and having fallen deeply in love, but now they have to relearn how to interact, how to behave when someone isn’t hunting you down or chasing you from town to town.

And they both realize it doesn’t need to be fancy or extraordinary,,, it just needs to be real.

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

Okay, this song is on everyone’s ship playlist, and it often ends up paired with vashwood, but I liked it as a song from Knives’ perspective for milly

Especially the chorus

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Knives ultimately doesn’t care what anyone else thinks, they don’t have any say in what he does or doesn’t do, but he does care about milly and what she thinks and how she’ll react, and he knows he can always turn to her for comfort, because thats what milly is… pure comfort.

And for the first time in his long life, he wants someone other than Vash to know everything about him

Make You Feel My Love - Adele

Milly and Meryl energy in this one !!!!

Initially i had it as a milly song, where she kind of wants knives to know that no matter what she’s going to be there for him to comfort and offer support whenever

But i do like the idea of Meryl being like,,,, im going to make you understand that i love you no matter the circumstances, rain or shine i will be there and you will accept it because I love you, you DUNCE

Never Ending Summer - Wes Reeve

Uhh i added this song mostly for vibes and because I liked the idea of Milly saying ‘kiss me hard, touch me soft on the weekends’

It’s just a lovely song about like,, love blindness and i think that milly and knives will suffer from that for a bit

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

So i added this song purely for the line ‘Whatever you want me to do, I will do’, and then the repetition of ‘whatever she wants’ because i like the idea of this song being from Knives’ perspective as he watches milly kind of… unravel ? in moments when she’s working too hard or needs a break from the world, he wants to be there for her.

I just love the idea of unfailing love… and uhhh we won’t read to far into that.

#im about to post chapter 23 !!!!#millyons #millynai #trigun #vashmeryl #music analysis #music appreciation #milly thompson #millions knives #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe

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bread--quest · 5 months

Text

[ID: A variety of cartoony colored digital drawings of sonas of the same person, Sonder. They are all in the same pose, with one hand on their hip and one raised. They all have pale skin and curly hair, and most of them are wearing glasses. End ID.]

(longer, individual IDs can be found under the cut!)

the full versions of all the guys from this post! these took me a WHILE to draw but i am very proud of them!! used it as practice for making reference drawings...although now i'm kind of back at square one since i'm learning to draw on a touchpad haha

the first three are just generic sonas, although the third one is vaguely inspired by twcb and wtnv! the rest have their sources in the text :)

[ID: A generic version of Sonder. They have pale skin, short, curly brown hair down to their chin, and glasses. He is smiling cheerfully while holding out a hand. She is wearing a purple shirt, blue jean shorts, and pink sneakers. The background is purple, and text in the upper lefthand corner reads "Sonder (any/all)". End ID.]

[ID: "Vampire!Sonder (any/all)." They look mostly the same as regular Sonder, but have even paler skin, and two small red bite marks on their neck. She is winking and grinning while holding a hand in a claw-like gesture. Xe is wearing a ripped dark red shirt that reads "Band Shirt", a black jacket, dark blue jeans, and pink sneakers, and a black beanie with several pins on it. The background is red, and text is dark red. Additional text above and below them, with music notes before them indicating songs, reads "Boy Division - My Chemical Romance" and "Blood - My Chemical Romance". End ID.]

[ID: "The Voice of nowhere in particular (any/all)". They have long, wavy white hair, down to their waist, and their glasses are drawn as opaque, white and gray, so that their eyes are obscured. Her expression is neutral, but slightly sad. Ce is wearing a white shirt, light gray hoodie, ripped gray jeans, and pale pink shoes. Glowing white lines form a skyline arched over their head, and glowing white eyes float around them as well. They are holding a gray, glowing microphone in one hand, and the cord of the microphone resembles a highway. The background is light gray, and text is lighter gray. Their songs are "Chicago - Sufjan Stevens" and "I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers". End ID.]

[ID: "Chamomile (Fallen London) (thon/thons)". Thon looks mostly like the generic Sonder, but has slightly shorter hair and isn't wearing glasses. Thon is wearing an off-the-shoulder purple ruffly dress and a long black cloak, and black shoes. Thon is grinning confidently while holding out a hand. The background is light brown, and text is darker brown. Thons songs are "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen" and "Lights Go Down - I Don't Know How But They Found Me". End ID.]

[ID: "Variable Waterby (Blaseball) (xe/it)". Xe has longer hair, slightly past shoulder-length, in a ponytail, dyed pink at the bottom. Xe is wearing a light blue shirt that says "phone." on it in light pink, jean shorts, a dark red jersey with light pink pinstripes tied around xer waist, pink sneakers, and a baseball cap with the stew emoji on the front. It is smiling happily and carrying a baseball bat. There is a slight chromatic aberration on the lineart. The background is light pink, and text is hot pink. Its songs are "Overexposed - Matt and Kim" and "Home Run - Shawn Wasabi". End ID.]

[ID: "Eméute (Killjoys) (e/em)". E has bob-length hair dyed teal and is wearing a black jacket over a long, dark purple dress, and bright pink shoes. E is also wearing a purple, plague doctor-esque mask with yellow eyes. E is smiling and making a finger gun with one hand. The background is light teal, and text is teal. Er songs are "Summertime - My Chemical Romance" and "Revolution Radio - Green Day". End ID.]

[ID: "Lilith, Sylph of Life (Homestuck) (any/all)". She has slightly longer brown hair and is wearing a long beige dress with the Homestuck Life symbol on it in pale green, a green scarf, and green shoes. There are a few colorful flowers in their hair, and a small sprout growing out of it. Li is smiling slightly, with one hand curled into a determined fist. The background is light green, and text is darker green. Er songs are "Taking Care of Things - Cavetown" and "Quiet - Lights". End ID.]

[ID: "Violet Sapphire (Steven Universe) (she/they)". She is a Gem, from Steven Universe, and has light purple skin and short, dark purple curls that cover her eyes. They are wearing a short, light purple skirt, a purple t-shirt, and purple boots. The shirt is cropped to reveal a purple gemstone with a triangular cut on her stomach, and also has a cracked star icon on it. They are sticking out their tongue and flashing a peace sign with their raised hand. The background is light purple, and text is purple. Her songs are "We Are The Crystal Gems - Steven Universe" and "Violet Stars Happy Hunting! - Janelle Monae". End ID.]

[ID: "Your Friendly Neighborhood...Something (Spider-Sona) (any/all)". Xe is wearing a purple hoodie with the hood up over a black shirt with a purple spiderweb pattern on it, jean shorts over black leggings with a teal spiderweb pattern on them, black fingerless gloves with a hot pink spiderweb pattern on them, and hot pink boots. Their face is covered by a mask like the traditional Spider-Man mask, but black with a purple web-pattern, and faintly blue eyes. Lir eyes are squinted happily, and li is doing the traditional Spider-Man "thwip" hand gesture. The background is bright purple, and text is darker purple. Her songs are "Sunflower - Post Malone" and "New York City - They Might Be Giants". End ID.]

[ID: "Spite (Venom-Sona?) (any/all)". E has bob-length brown hair that fades to black at the bottom and is wearing a black shirt that says "MCR" on it in white letters, black pants, and dark grayish-pink shoes. Its raised arm is covered by dark purple Venom, which is forming a pointy-teethed mouth where its hand would normally be. The Venom is also faintly visible as small squiggly lines coming out from under its shirt collar on the shoulder of the same arm. Spite is smiling slightly. The background is gray, and text is black. Xer songs are "Thank You For The Venom - My Chemical Romance" and "Punk Tactics - Joey Valance". End ID.]

#wow look something original!!#sondart #FINALLY described all of these!!!!! thank you amtrak acela for giving me the strength and also time to finish #these have been in my drafts since uhhhh. august?#i drew them all while i was back at home lmao. last thing i got to draw on the ipad since before i went to college....#now im a trackpad artist 😔#ok umm any last tags..#sona: variable waterby #sona: chamomile waterby

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