#i am also just trying to do my part and educate myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bigkpopstan · 2 years

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also let me be really honest with u!

its true that latinos that live in their mother countrys are very harsh on kids who are born on north america but have hispanic background, but we have so many vAliD reasons to be like this

bc these kids are normally more focused on "looking the part" that forget one fact: we are more than an aesthetic

theres lenguaje, culture, food, history but they are often ignored and people end up "claiming" their hispanic side but can't even talk to their cousins 🥴

we are never going to deny ur identity, we even encourage you to connect with it in every aspect possible but the first step is to understand this is more than looks

also don't be scared of not liking etnich food, there are things that are just not of ur taste lol but as long ur are trying authentic food is probably going to be bomb 🤚🏼

💌 anon

i definitely get that! like I say I’m proud to be Hispanic but I also…don’t ? feel Hispanic enough. it’s like I feel left out where I see other Hispanic people talking about experiences and stuff that they learned actually being brought up in their culture and stuff and I’m always there like “I should understand and get what they’re talking about” but I don’t. or like !! my only year irl in high school I was in a room granted I was new but I’m definitely obviously mixed when it comes to my looks but two other Hispanic kids mentioned that they were “the only ones” in the room. which yeah I know you don’t know me but ! idk it unnecessarily made me feel bad lmao. I want to try it so bad !! i just don’t know where or what to get bc I already have a thing where I know what I’m going to like and not like without even trying it so there are something’s that I don’t wanna try bc I don’t think I’ll like it but other things 👀

I grew up on a very, ethnically/culturally diverse area in my state so most of the other people in my state, that are Hispanic that I have met personally are all like what are the ways to describe this shit brain fart…like they were like first gen kids? like the guy that I was talking about in tags that I knew was born in Mexico and went back every summer. idk I’ve never met any other person from different cultures n stuff like that in my area that didn’t speak their other language but that is very interesting I can see that. that’s the thing I personally don’t really care much about the looking-I already am very physically, but I want to know like the history and I want to know more about my culture and I want it to be a big part of my life like it should’ve been. everyone I know or meet also think it’d benefit me esp with how I am very like-conscious about not being Hispanic enough.

#💌 anon #it’s just hard doing it all alone #or the fact that-like she didn’t have to #but that my mom didn’t even try-? to do anything for me #to grow up knowing about that part of my culture but #i get it’s hard for her bc she probably knows as much as I did before #Spanish classes and being able to educate myself on the internet and stuff #but I guess the fee #few * stories I’ve seen of parents adopting kids #from other cultures trying more than my mom did #even tho she has two Hispanic kids #like two mixed kids #I’m pretty sure my sister is also Hispanic #…idk we have different dads #but I am sure ? i think? i think it’d be weird to ask now tbh 💀#also-can’t talk to their cousins me #kidding kind of #they’re all bilingual 😐 I am not #even if I started hanging out with my cousins more I don’t want to be #one the left out one bc like we’re all young adults now #but then also having to go ‘what does that mean’ if they switch languages mid conversation

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jewelleria · 23 days

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I don’t usually talk about politics on here, if ever. But it’s been almost six months since the conflict in the Middle East flared up again, and I’m finally ready to start. Here are some of my thoughts.

I say ‘flared up’ because this has happened before and it’ll happen again. Because, even though what's currently going on is absolutely unprecedented, those of us who live in this part of the world are used to it. Let that sink in: we are used to this. And we shouldn’t have to be.

But I use that term for another reason: I don't want to accidentally call it the wrong thing lest I come under fire for being a genocidal maniac or a terrorist or a propaganda machine, etc., etc.—so let’s just call it ‘the war’ or ‘the conflict.’ Because that’s what it is. Doesn’t matter which side you’re on, who you love, or who you hate.

This post will, in all likelihood, sit in my drafts forever. If it does get posted, it certainly won’t be on my main, because I'm scared of being harassed (spoiler: she posted it on her main). I hate admitting that, but honestly? I’m fucking terrified.

I also feel like in order for anything I say on here (i.e. the hellscape of the internet) to be taken seriously, I have to somehow prove that a) I’m “educated” enough to talk about the conflict, and b) that my opinion lines up with what has been deemed the correct one. So, tedious and unnecessary though it is, I will tell you about my experience, because I have a feeling most of the people reading this post are not nearly as close to what’s happening as I am.

How do I explain where I live without actually explaining where I live? How do I say “I live in the Red Zone of international conflicts” without saying what I actually think? How do I convey the fear that grips me when I try to decide between saying “I live in Palestine” and “I live in Israel”? I don't really know. But I do know that names are important. I also know that, due to the various clickbaity monikers ascribed to the conflict, it would probably just be easier to point to a map.

I haven't always lived in the Middle East. I've lived in various places along America’s east coast, and traveled all over the world. But in short, I now live somewhere inside the crudely-drawn purple circle.

If you know anything about these borders you probably blanched a bit in sympathy, or maybe condolence. But in truth, it’s a shockingly normal existence. I don't feel like I've lived through the shifting of international relations or a war or anything. I just kind of feel like I did when COVID hit, that dull sameness as I wondered if this would be the only world-altering event to shape my life, or if there would be more.

I've been told that, in order for my brain to process all the horrific details of the past six months, there needs to be some element of cognitive dissonance—that falling into a sort of dissociative mindset is the only way to not go insane under the weight of it all. I think in some ways that’s true. I have been terrifyingly close to bus stop shootings when my commute wasn’t over; I have felt my apartment building shake with the reverberations of a missile strike; I have spent hours in underground shelters waiting for air raid sirens to stop.

But. I have also gone grocery shopping, and skipped class, and stayed up too late watching TV, and fed the cats on the street corner, and cried over a boy, and got myself AirPods just because, and taken out the trash, and done laundry on a delicate cycle, and bought overpriced lattes one too many days a week. I have looked at pretty things and taken out my phone because, despite it all, I still think that life is too short not to freeze the small moments.

So I'd say, all things considered, I live an incredibly privileged life—compared, of course, to those suffering in Gaza—one filled with sunsets and over-sweetened knafeh and every different color of sand. One that allows me to throw myself into a fandom-induced hyperfixation (or, alternatively, escape method) as I sit on the couch and crack open my laptop to write the next chapter of the fic I'm working on.

But there are bits of not-normalness that wheedle their way through the cracks. I pretend these moments are avoidable, even if they’re not.

They look like this: reading the news and seeing another idiotic, careless choice on Netanyahu’s part and groaning into my morning coffee. Watching Palestinian and Jewish children’s needless suffering posted on Instagram reels and feeling helpless. Opening my Tumblr DMs to find a message telling me to exterminate myself for reblogging a post that only seems like it’s about the war if you squint and tilt your head sideways.

These moments look like all the tiny ways I am reminded that I'm living in a post-October seventh world, where hearing a car backfire makes me jump out of my skin and the sound of a suitcase on pavement makes me look up at the sky and search for the war planes. They look like the heavy grief that is, and also isn’t, mine.

Here's the thing, though. I know you’re wondering when the ball will drop and my true opinion will be revealed. I know you’re waiting for me to reveal what demographic I'm a part of so that you, dear reader, can neatly slap a label on my head and sort me into some oversimplified category that lets you continue to think you understand this war.

No one wants to sit and ruminate on the difficult questions, the ones that make you wonder if maybe you’ve been tinkered with by the propaganda machine, if you might need to go back on what you’ve said or change your mind. We all strive for our perception of complicated issues to be a comfortable one.

But I know that no matter what I do, there will always be assumptions. So, while I shudder to reveal this information online, I think that maybe my most significant contribution to this meta-discussion spanning every facet of the internet is this:

I am a Jew.

Or, alternatively, I am: Jewish, יהודית, يَهُودِيٌّ, etc. Point is, I come from Jews. And, like any given person, I am a product of generation after generation of love.

I'm not going to take time to explain my heritage to you, or to prove that before all the expulsions and pogroms, there was an origin point. If you don’t believe that, perhaps it’s less of a factual problem and more of an ‘I don’t give weight to the beliefs of indigenous people’ problem. But, in case you want to spend time uselessly refuting this tiny point in a larger argument, you can inspect the photos below (it’s just a small chunk of my DNA test results). Alternatively, you can remember that interrogating someone in an attempt to make their indigeneity match your arbitrary criteria is generally not seen as good manners.

Now, let’s go back to thathateful message (read: poorly disguised death threat) I received in my Tumblr DMs. I think it was like two or three weeks ago. I had recently gained a new follower whose blog’s primary focus was the fandom I contribute to, so I followed them back. I saw in my notes that they were going through my posts and liking them—as one does when gaining a new mutual. Yippee!

Then they sent me this:

I tried to explain that hate speech is not a way to go about participating in political discourse, but the person had already blocked me immediately after sending that message. Then, assured by the fact that I surely would never see them complaining about me on their blog (because, as I said, they blocked me), they posted a shouting rant accusing me of sympathizing with colonizing settlers and declaring me a “racist Zionist fuck.” Oh, the wonders of incognito tabs.

Where this person drew these conclusions after reading my (reblogged) post about antisemitism…. I'm not actually sure. But I greatly sympathize with them, and hope that they weren’t too personally offended by my desire to not die.

For a while I contemplated this experience in my righteous anger, and tried to figure out a way to message this person. I wanted to explain that a) seeing a post about being Jewish and choosing to harass the creator about Israel is literally the definition of antisemitism and b) that sending a hateful DM and refusing to be held accountable is just childish and immature. But I gave up soon after—because, honestly, I knew it wasn’t worth my effort or energy. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to change their mind.

But I still remember staring at that rather unfortunate meme, accompanied by an all-caps message demanding for me to Free Palestine, and thinking: the post didn’t even have any buzzwords. I remember the swoop of dread and guilt and fear. I remember wondering why this kind of antisemitism felt worse, in that moment, than the kind that leaves bodies in its wake.

I remember thinking, I don’t have the power to free anyone.

I remember thinking, I’m so fucking tired.

And before you tell me that this conflict isn’t about religion—let me ask you some questions. Why is it that Israel is even called Israel? (Here’s why.) Why do Jews even want it? (Here’s why.) But also, if you actually read the charters of Islamist terrorist organizations like ISIS, Hamas, and Hezbollah (among others), they equate the modern state of Israel with the Jewish people, and they use the two entities interchangeably. So of course this conflict is religious. It’s never been anything but that.

But I do wonder, when faced with those who deny this fact: how do I prove, through an endless slew of what-about-isms and victim blaming, that I too am hurting? How do I show that empathy is dialectical, that I can care deeply for Palestinians and Gazans while also grieving my own people?

There's this thing that humans do, when we’re frustrated about politics and need to howl our opinions about it into the void until we feel better. We find like-minded souls, usually our friends and neighbors, and fret about the state of the world to each other until we’ve gone around in a satisfactory amount of circles. But these conversations never truly accomplish anything. They’re just a substitute, a stand-in catharsis, for what we really wish we could do: find someone who embodies the spirit of every Jew-hating internet troll, every ignorant justifier of terrorism, and scream ourselves hoarse at them until we change their mind.

But, of course, minds cannot be changed when they are determined to live in a state of irrational dislike. In Judaism, this way of thinking has a name: שנאת חינם (sinat hinam), or baseless hatred. It's a parasite with no definite cure, and it makes people bend over backwards to justify things like the massacre on October seventh, simply because the blame always needs to be placed on the Jews.

So when a Jew is faced with this unsolvable problem, there is only one response to be had, only one feeling to be felt: anger. And we are angry. Carrying around rage with nowhere to put it is exhausting. It's like a weight at the base of our neck that pushes down on our spine, bending it until we will inevitably snap under the pressure. I’m still waiting to break, even now.

I wish I could explain to someone who needs to hear it that terrorism against Israelis happens every single day here, and that we are never more than one degree of separation away from the brutal slaughter of a friend, lover, parent, sibling. I wish it would be enough to say that the majority of Israelis (which includes Arab-Israeli citizens who have the exact same rights as Jewish-Israelis) wish for peace every day without ever having seen what it looks like.

I wish I could show the world that Israel was founded as a socialist state, that it was built on communal values and born from a cluster of kibbutzim (small farming communities based on collective responsibility), and that what it is now isn’t what its people stand for.

I wish the world could open their eyes to what we Israelis have seen since the beginning: that Hamas is the enemy, Hamas is the one starving Palestinians and denying them aid, Hamas is the one who keeps rejecting ceasefire terms and denying their citizens basic human rights. Hamas is the governing body of Gaza, not Israel. Hamas is responsible for the wellbeing of the Palestinian people. And Hamas are the ones who are more determined to murder Jews—over and over and over again, in the most animalistic ways possible—than to look inwards and see the suffering they’ve inflicted on their own people. I wish it was easier to see that.

But the wishing, the asking how can people be so blind, is never enough. I can never just say, I promise I don't want war.

When I bear witness to this baseless hatred, I think of the victims of October seventh. I think of the women and girls who were raped and then murdered, forever unable to tell their stories. I think of the hostages, trapped underneath Gaza in dark tunnels, wondering if anyone will come for them. I think of Ori Ansbacher, of Ezra Schwartz, of Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali, of Lucy, Rina, and Maia Dee, of the Paley boys, of Ari Fuld and of Nachshon Wachsman. I think of all the innocent blood spilled because of terror-fueled hatred and the virus of antisemitism. I think of all the thousands of people who were brutally murdered in Israel, Jews and Muslims and Christians and humans, who will never see peace.

My ties to this land are knotted a thousand times over. Even when I leave, a part of me is left behind, waiting for me to claim it when I return. But when I see the grit it takes to live through this pain, when I see the suffering that paints the world the color of blood, I look to the heavens and I wonder why.

I ask God: is it worth all this? He doesn't answer. So I am the one, in the end, to answer my own question. I say, it has to be.

Feel free to send any genuine, respectful, and clarifying questions you may have to my inbox!

EDIT: just coming on here to say that I'm really touched & grateful for the love on this post. When I wrote it, I felt hopeless; I logged off of Tumblr for Shabbat, dreading the moment I would turn off my phone to find more hate in my inbox. Granted, I did find some, and responding to it was exhausting, but it wasn’t all hate. I read every kind reblog and comment, and the love was so much louder. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍

Source Reading

The Whispered in Gaza Project by The Center for Peace Communications

Why Jews Cannot Stop Shaking Right Now by Dara Horn

Hamas Kidnapped My Father for Refusing to Be Their Puppet by Ala Mohammed Mushtaha

I Hope Someone Somewhere Is Being Kind to My Boy by Rachel Goldberg

The Struggle for Black Freedom Has Nothing to Do with Israel by Coleman Hughes

Israel Can Defend Itself and Uphold Its Values by The New York Times Editorial Board

There Is a Jewish Hope for Palestinian Liberation. It Must Survive by Peter Beinart

The Long Wait of the Hostages’ Families by Ruth Margalit

“By Any Means Necessary”: Hamas, Iran, and the Left by Armin Navabi

When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them by Bari Weiss

Hunger in Gaza: Blame Hamas, Not Israel by Yvette Miller

Benjamin Netanyahu Is Israel’s Worst Prime Minister Ever by Anshel Pfeffer

What Palestinians Really Think of Hamas by Amaney A. Jamal and Michael Robbins

The Decolonization Narrative Is Dangerous and False by Simon Sebag Montefiore

Understanding Hamas’s Genocidal Ideology by Bruce Hoffman

The Wisdom of Hamas by Matti Friedman

How the UN Discriminates Against Israel by Dina Rovner

This Muslim Israeli Woman Is the Future of the Middle East by The Free Press

Why Are Feminists Silent on Rape and Murder? by Bari Weiss

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cardentist · 1 month

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Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

#discourse #long post #intersex #genderqueer #nonbinary #multigender #trans unity #queer unity #moral of the story is that gender is a fuck

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yuikomorii · 29 days

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Happy Birthday, Ayato! ❤️

// Today is the golden boy’s birthday!! Sweet and spicy visual god, you are the reason of my unattainablly high standards… and also of my questionable financial decisions, lol.

This looks more like an Ayayui shrine than an individual Ayato one, but I couldn’t fit all the items in one pic, therefore I chose the ones that were the easiest to find in my room. :”)

Nevertheless… I did try to prepare a SCENARIO too! I used my nsfw edit as the cg, although I didn’t show everything. The romantic part is really cheesy and cringe, but if you’re into fluff, you will like that. 💕💕

~Operation: Ayato-kun’s birthday~

Yui: ( Haa… it feels as if there’s no ending to these anymore… )

( I woke up earlier today, hoping to finish all these exercises, yet I really can’t bring myself to understand how to solve them at all…! )

( My mind is completely in a whole different place right now. Today is Ayato-kun’s birthday after all. )

( Unfortunately, all the assignments kept me so busy this week that I wasn’t even able to bake a cake for him… )

( However, it’s still not too late for that, right? )

( Once I’m done with this page, I will definitely try my best to prepare it as soon as po—)

Reiji: Komori Yui, are you slacking again?

Yui: …!

R-Reiji-san!

( Oh no, he picked up my notebook! )

Reiji: Good grief, there are mistakes everywhere! Do I need to remind you that you are not permitted to bring disgrace upon the Sakamaki family as long as you reside under this mansion's roof?

Yui: Uuh… I-I’m really sorry, Reiji-san. I promise I’ll—

Reiji: Silence. I recently received your report card as well, and I must admit that I’m not pleased with your performance in the slightest. I was expecting such indifference from my brothers, but it’s rather disheartening for a human girl not to care about her education.

Yui: Y-You got it wrong! It’s not like I don’t care about school, but… simply put, the teachers have been giving us much too many tasks lately, and I find them quite difficult to solve, which stresses me out a little, to be honest.

Reiji: Hmph, excuses. I find it incomprehensible how such simple exercises cause you mental difficulties.

Nevertheless, I shall teach you then. Even if it requires the whole day to achieve that.

Yui: You will? Woah, thank you so much, Re— W-Wait, no! We can’t do that today!

Reiji: Pardon? Are you rejecting my offer to tutor you?

Yui: No, no! Not at all! It’s just that today is Ayato-kun’s birthday, and well… I would obviously want to celebrate it with him.

Reiji: Denied.

Yui: Eh—?

Reiji: You truly are a fool. Vampires show no interest in the day of their birth. Now, take a sit.

Yui: …

( I know Reiji-san is not in the wrong, but… I really do want to celebrate Ayato-kun’s birthday. That day may not be special to him but it’s so special to me. )

( Am I being selfish, I wonder…? )

*Timeskip*

Reiji: It appears that you’re finally able to understand how to solve this exercise. The next ones are similar to it, therefore there shouldn’t be any obstacles.

Yui: Yes, I see…

( I appreciate Reiji-san’s help, yet too many hours have passed by and baking a cake from scratch is not possible anymore… )

Place: Living room

Yui: ( Hmm… apparently I still have enough pocket money to buy a cake. I know a self-made one would have been more meaningful, but I really couldn’t… )

Kanato: Yui-san, are you spacing out?

Yui: Eh—? Ah, Kanato-kun, I didn’t see you there. I’m fine, but I’m a bit in a hurry, so… see y— Kya!

( He grabbed my wrist! )

Kanato: You’re going to buy a cake for my brother, aren’t you?

Yui: Uhh… well yes, I mean, it’s his birthday after all.

Kanato: My birthday was yesterday and I didn’t see you get any cake for me, nor for Laito. Teddy thinks you forgot about us. Tell me, Yui-san, is that true?

Yui: T-that’s not it!

Kanato: So you’re going to buy a cake for me as well after all? I might forgive you if you do that.

Yui: ( What did I get myself into…! I’m sure Kanato-kun will throw a tantrum if I say “no”. )

But… I don’t think I got enough money for two cakes.

Kanato: Please don’t worry about that, Yui-san, I know my ways. Or what, are you doubting me now?

Yui: …!

— shakes head —

Kanato: Good, now let’s go.

Place: Demon World Cake shop

Yui: Woah, I’ve never seen such big cakes before!

Kanato: Please don’t shout. Your looks already make you resemble a servant, you don’t have to act like one as well.

Yui: ( Hey, that’s mean! )

Cake shop owner: Welcome, how can I help you?

Yui: We’re searching for a birthday cake, but uhm… one a bit smaller than the ones displayed here, if possible.

Cake shop owner: Any flavor you got in mind?

Yui: ( Speaking of flavor, I don’t think Ayato-kun has ever told me anything about his favorite. He would probably say Takoyaki but a Takoyaki cake… that doesn’t feel right. )

I think he likes straw—

Kanato: Raspberry!

Cake shop owner: Wonderful! We just finished a raspberry cake a few minutes ago!

— brings cake —

Yui: ( It truly looks delicious…! Besides, it’s red as well, which is Ayato-kun’s favorite color, so I believe he would truly like this one! )

Kanato: Alright, we’ll take it!

Place: Mansion

Yui: Phew, I’m glad the cake didn’t get crushed on the way.

Kanato: It’s time to eat!

Yui: Wha—! No, Kanato-kun, you can’t!

Kanato: Excuse me, but who do you think you are? This is my cake, therefore I’m allowed to eat it whenever I want!

Yui: W-Well, don’t you want to wait for Ayato-kun too? This way, you two will be able to eat it together like bro—!!

(He pushed me in the cake!?)

Kanato-kun, why did you do this!?

Kanato: You ruined the cake!

Yui: Me!? But Kanato-kun was the one who pushed me there!

Kanato: Teddy says you’re annoying, and I agree. Now how will you fix your mistakes?

Yui: ( I can barely see anything…! )

Kanato: Fufu, look at her Teddy! She’s full of cake from head to toe! Now, let’s give it a taste che—

Yui: You can’t!

— moves cake away from him —

Kanato: I can!

— moves cake back —

Yui: No!

— moves cake away —

Kanato: Hmph, just give up already, will you!?

— pushes her away —

Yui: Wait, no—!!!

???: Oi, what the—!

— cake falls on them —

Kanato: Noooo, the cake!!!! Ngh, this is no fun anymore!

Yui: Uuh… Why is the floor so soft…?

Ayato: ‘Cause it’s not the floor, you idiot.

Yui: Ah! A-Ayato-kun!

Uhh… Happy birthday…~?

Ayato: Geez, c’mere, you’re an even bigger mess.

— picks her up —

Place: Bathroom

Yui: ( This is so embarrassing…! )

Ayato: Haa… You’re finally not covered in cake anymore.

Yui: I… I’m sorry…

Ayato: Huh? What are you apologizing for? I’m not mad that you dropped that cake on me.

Yui: That’s not the only thing I’m sorry about…

If it weren’t for my carelessness, you would have gotten a nice birthday, but now… you don’t even have a cake anymore.

( Ah, I’m feeling as if I’m about to cry right now… )

Ayato: Hey, c’mon that’s not worth the tears. I’m a vampire, remember? I don’t care about my birthday, so there’s no need to worry about such stuff.

Yui: Maybe you don’t care about it but… I do. I know that I’m about to sound selfish, but your birthday is very special to me. It represents the day you were born and I… I simply can’t imagine not celebrating it.

Ayato-kun is important to me, therefore that automatically makes his birthday important to me too.

Ayato: You klutz…

— hugs her —

Yui: W-Wha—! Ayato-kun…!

Ayato: Seriously, are all humans really that sentimental? Or does this only apply to cute girls like you?

Yui: …!

(He… he called me cute! )

— blushes —

Ayato: The day’s still not over, y’know? There’s still time to celebrate it if you’re really that obsessed with it.

Yui: …! So, are you really okay with that?

Ayato: Yeah? If I weren’t, I would have told you, idiot. On top of that, it’s not like I got anything better to do anyway.

Now tell me, Chichinashi, what exactly do you have in store for today?

Yui: Hm… uhm… nothing comes to my mind at the moment, but for now… I can’t say I mind spending time like this with Ayato-kun.

Ayato: Heh~? You suddenly don’t mind being in my arms while naked?

Yui: P-Phrasing it like that…!

Ayato: Well, if that’s the case, then… you wouldn’t mind if I sucked your blood either, right?

Yui: Go ahead.

Ayato: Hah? No talking back? Are you really that easy to convince today? Or, could it be that you finally admit enjoying the pleasure these fangs give you?

Yui: It’s not only about your fangs, Ayato-kun. I really like you as a whole.

I wasn’t even able to find a gift for you, therefore giving you my blood is the least I can do.

Ayato: Heh, I see… I don’t need your blood as a gift though.

Yui: You don’t…?

Ayato: Nope, ‘cause I already got the best gift ever.

Yui: Is that so?

( Did someone already give him something for his birthday? If that’s the case, then who could it be? )

( Ah… I guess I’m just overthinking, but now I’m really curious. )

Ayato: You really wanna know, don’t you? It’s already written on your face.

Are you getting jealous~?

Yui: T-That’s…—!

Ayato: Pfft, you really did get jealous, huh?

Yui: ( Ugh… he’s making fun of me now! )

Ayato: Anyway, there’s no need to. After all, the best gift I’ve ever gotten…

It’s you, Yui.

— Smooch —

The end

#diabolik lovers #ayato sakamaki #sakamaki ayato #Yui komori #komori yui #dialovers #admin #my edit #(I hope I wrote Reiji and Kanato well)#(they were fun to write at least)

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upsidedownwithsteve · 2 months

Text

A message.

I’d like to start by saying once more (due to it being the cause of so many hateful messages) that I support Palestine.

I donate to charities that fund several of the organisations that help and I use my business in the best way I can to give my services for free to fundraisers that also raise money for these causes. Shy of showing you my personal bank statements and private emails between myself and my clients, I don’t have any ways of showing this on tumblr.

I have several social media platforms, I have a business that I run, I have friends and family I talk to, I have an entire life off of this website. I choose to use tumblr to post my writing and for the most part, it’s become a really important space for me. Writing is one of the few things I truly do for myself. I enjoy it immensely and it can really bring me a lot of peace.

I choose not to blog anything other my writing, other people’s writing and general fandom related things on my blog because I like to keep it as that small space for myself and one of the things I love most. I understand wholly that that is a privilege in itself and I will not shy away from that fact.

However, I will not condone being hunted for the choices I make. For the vast majority of you, I am a stranger online and no one, absolutely no one, knows what I do off of this website. I won’t allow anyone to judge me on what they don’t see and don’t understand.

The size of my following was not a choice I made, it was not something I deliberately aimed for and it was not something I tried hard to make sure I achieved. It wasn’t the goal of this blog. I don’t deem myself capable of “influencing” anyone in anyway. I’m a fanfiction writer. I’m not a politician, I don’t claim to be the most educated person on political and worldwide matters. I simply would like to believe that everyone tries to help in anyway they can. I know not everyone has the financial means to donate and instead they choose to raise awareness in other ways - that’s absolutely okay.

But I - and others - do not have to follow the rule book someone else deemed law. You see, I gave my views and reasons and it wasn’t good enough. And now, if I chose to reblog certain things, I’m pretty sure I’d be dragged for being performative, or “back tracking.” I fear that with some people, who like to hide behind an anonymous button, I cannot win. Despite an argument revolving around real life issues, I think I can safely say it came across as a very personal attack.

As other people have mentioned before, I also don’t enjoy the idea of writing smut and happy ever after’s about our favourite fictional men and then reblogging the death of others in real life straight after. I know that’s the world right now. I’m aware. I read articles, I watch the news, I follow accounts on Twitter, on Instagram and I try and keep myself as up to date and as educated as possible. I just don’t show that on this one platform.

As many of you know, I do run my own business. I’m also five months pregnant. I’m definitely experiencing more stress than I usually do. I’m very happy and enjoying my pregnancy immensely but I struggled with sickness and tiredness for the majority of it so far. Whats to come in the next four months and beyond fills me with excitement and anxiety and nerves. Coming onto tumblr and writing about fiction is a little reprieve from that - again, a privilege I am so aware of.

But I won’t be tolerating any more hateful messages, I won’t be arguing with anyone. I’m not lowering myself to it. You can talk about me passively aggressively, you can choose to hate me, that’s fine. I’m happy blocking people and moving on. Anons will be off indefinitely, it’s been proven that too many people are willing to hide behind them. After the messages regarding myself and my unborn child, quite frankly, there’s not a lot of trust left when it comes to knowing how far people will sink.

I’ve said all I’d like to say on the matter, I’ve told people where I stand, my views on the genocide that is occurring, what I’m able to do about it in my personal life and why I choose to keep this particular space the way I do.

I hope everyone can try to understand and respect that. If you don’t, that’s fine, that’s your prerogative. I don’t go out of my way to challenge, or police, or demand things from people I do not know. I hope that no one thinks that they have the right to do that to myself and others. I’m under no obligation to follow someone else’s rules.

I don’t know what the future holds for this blog, pregnancy and real life is very much taking priority over writing at the moment, but I do like to try when I can. I can’t lie either, the messages and their content that I received really left me feeling dejected and frustrated, this fandom really has turned into something rather poisonous. I’d like to be able to rise above it and in the mean time, even if I’m not always present, I’d like people to be able to access the stories I worked really hard on.

Thank you for reading,

Emmy 🧡

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bloggingboutburgers · 2 months

Note

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

#anon #asexual #ace #allosexual #thank you so much for sharing

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msschemmenti · 10 months

Text

The Bodyguard

Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

summary : reader hasn't mastered the art of self-care yet and melissa helps.

a/n: been sitting with this for a bit, hoping to post more now that i'm kinda getting my adult life together :) i also could not tell you what happened at the end of this...

“Good Morning beautiful educators! Are we ready to change some lives?” Janine called, bounding into the teacher’s lounge. All eyes rolled and a collective sigh fell over the room. Despite the less than enthusiastic response, Janine’s smile remained in place as she shoved her lunch in the refrigerator and sat next to Jacob.

“What’s got you so chipper this morning?” Melissa spoke, eyeing the younger woman over the cat-eye reading glasses she had perched on her nose.

“I just woke up well-rested. With the new schedule I’ve created for myself I’ve had loads more time to get things done. I’m worrying less and feeling my best.” Janine proudly spoke, causing the older women in the room to observe her thoughtfully.

“That’s great Janine. You have seemed much more confident and that’s great to see.” Barbara smiled.

“Good for you Kid. That’s often the hardest part of teaching in a school like this. It’s hard to take time for yourself.” Melissa smiles over her reading glasses, leveling the younger woman with a congratulatory nod. Janine beamed at the camera over the older woman's shoulder and turned to Jacob to listen to his spiel for the morning. As everyone went back to their own morning routines, Y/n slumped into the room heading straight for the coffee machine. The cameras followed her as she pulled a mug from her bag and filled it to the brim with the bitter liquid gold. As soon as she added the sugar and creamer she needed she gazed at her watch gauging how much time she had before school officially started. With twenty minutes to spare she trudged over to the couch and sighed as she slouched into the chair pulling out some homework she wasn’t able to finish before bed. With the young woman’s attention focused on her work and coffee, she missed the green eyes that seemed to track her as closely as the camera did. Melissa watched as the fifth grade teacher busied herself with stacks of paper and a book. It didn’t look to be the work of her students, so Melissa’s curiosity peaked. She watched as the younger woman wedged a highlighter between her teeth and flipped through pages of tiny text. Her eyes moved across the screen frantically as if trying to memorize as much of the information as possible in the next 20 minutes. She didn’t realize how long she’d been watching until she felt Barb bump her shoulder subtly. Melissa’s eyes landed on Barbara and was instantly met with a soft smirk lining her friend’s lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Melissa grumbled under her breath, peeking back over to the couch to see if the younger woman had relaxed a bit but she seemed to only have tensed more.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Barbara smirked allowing her eyes to fall to the younger woman as well. “It seems someone hasn’t mastered the ‘taking care of yourself’ part of all of this.”

“What’s she working on anyway? It doesn’t look like anything the kids would be working on. I know she’s upstairs but they’d hardly be reading anything that long.” Melissa asked, finally turning back to Barb.

“I’m not sure, but you know she’s still in school so that could definitely be some homework of her own.” Barb shrugged.

“She’s still in school? What do you mean?” Melissa asked.

“She’s getting her masters. Which you’d know if you weren’t always being so standoffish. She does all her classes and coursework after we get off.”

“I am not standoffish,” Melissa huffed indignantly, “I just don’t like new people.”

“Mmhm, I don’t think that’s the case with one though.” Barbara grinned as she watched the red-head’s cheeks heat almost instantly at being called out.

“Oh shut up.” Melissa grumbled as the bell rang for the school day to finally start. She rose from her seat pointedly ignoring Barbara’s chuckle behind her as they made their way to their classrooms.

“Alright, who has an answer they’d like to share?” Y/n asked from her place in the front of the classroom. Lunch was still about 10 minutes away but she wanted to at least finish the rest of the worksheet her students had been working on before sending them off. She let her eyes roam over the classroom patiently but as she saw no hands raise she knew she’d need to entice them a bit. “I know it’s hard you guys, but if we finish the last two problems I’ll let you head to lunch earlier.”

She waited to see if anyone would take the bait and it seemed to work when Mariah raised her hand from the middle of the room. “Alright Mariah, what ya got for me?”

“4 over 12.” She spoke timidly.

“Uh Huh, and what’s 4 over 12 simplified?” Y/n prompted with a smile. Mariah seemed to be working through it but seemed a bit overwhelmed so Y/n opened it up to the rest of the class. “Anyone? What number can we divide both 4 and 12 by?”

“2.” Jamal called from the back row.

“Yep, but is there a bigger number we could also use?” Y/n asked with a smile glad the students seemed to be getting closer and closer to the right answer.

“Oh! I know.” Jasmine’s hand shot up from the front.

“Alright Jasmine, what number are you thinking?”

“4.”

“Excellent! That’s exactly right. And if we divide them by 4, 4 over 12 becomes?”

“1 over 3!” Everyone answered.

“Very good everyone. Let’s do the last one together and then we can head off.” Y/n smiled, heading to the white board and grabbing a marker.

Melissa really isn’t sure how she found herself in the fifth grade hall. She’d dropped her kids to recess and somehow she’d found herself peeking through the glass window in the door of Y/n’s classroom. She watched as she patiently guided the students through the fractions. She could tell the students really appreciated the atmosphere she’d created in the classroom. Even when someone wasn’t right, there was nothing but support flowing through the space and Melissa had no choice but to admire the work she’d done to capture that. Realizing if anyone saw her up there she’d have no explanation for her behavior, she quickly turned on her heels to head back toward her classroom with the hopes of not being caught. In her descent of the stairs, she missed the camera man down the hall collecting footage.

Melissa hurried into the teacher’s lounge hoping to grab a snack before she needed to pick her students up from their art class. She pushed forcefully on the door and headed for the vending machine, letting the door swing behind her with little care. As the door clanged against the doorframe she heard the startled gasp within the room. She turned quickly with her fist up and ready to attack whoever was in the room. She only relaxed when she saw Y/n sat on the couch with her hand over her chest and wide eyes. There was a book in her lap and highlighter poking out of her hair. Melissa figured she was doing homework again but as she looked closer, she could see the grooved pattern of the couch fabric on the younger woman’s cheek.

“Oh Melissa,” The younger woman sighed as she leaned back into the couch as she started to calm down.

“Sorry Hon. Did I wake ya?” Melissa said, coming to lean on the back of the chair that was closest to the couch.

“It's probably for the best. That was a complete accident.” Y/n shook her head a bit and pushed her hands down her face in an effort to liven up a bit.

“Must not be too interesting, if it’s putting you to sleep.” Melissa commented, nodding her head toward the book still in Y/n’s lap.

“Unfortunately it is not. It doesn’t exactly help that I’m already sleep deprived. A recipe for a great nap.” Y/n chuckled lightly before turning her eyes to her watch. “Looks like it’s time for me to pick my kids up.” As Y/n gathered her things, Melissa watched and hummed in agreement. Once Y/n was done and her eyes met Melissa’s the older woman could see the exhaustion setting back in place. “See you around Melissa.”

Y/n moved to walk past Melissa to the door, but Melissa hand wrapped around her forearm keeping her in front of her. “Hey, make sure you get some rest hon. We can’t have you collapsing on us like Janine.” Melissa squeezed her arm in emphasis and released her arm when she saw the younger woman nod in understanding.

From then Melissa found herself checking in with Y/n more often. She’d shed her ‘standoffish’ behavior and had become one of the teachers Y/n talked to the most. She never spent a lot of time with anyone on the elementary level teaching staff besides Barb, but now she seemed to be running into Melissa more and more. She’d be in the teacher lounge poured over a textbook or a stack of spelling tests and Melissa would appear with a hot mug of coffee. She’d gradually started bringing the younger woman lunch everyday of the week. It had started on a day about two weeks after Y/n had been caught napping on the couch. The fifth grade teacher had waltzed into the room carrying her laptop and textbook and that seemed to be it. It only took Melissa about 5 seconds of seeing her work on homework before she cleared her throat with a raised eyebrow. She, Y/n, and Barb were the only ones in the lounge so far so Y/n was quick to turn her attention to the older women’s table.

“Oh hi.” Y/n said, meeting Melissa’s eyes. Assuming the redhead was upset she hadn’t greeted them when she arrived, she looked back at her work.

“Hello but that’s not what I wanted. Where is your lunch?” Melissa asked, eyeing the younger woman intently.

“Oh I forgot it. I’m just gonna grab a snack after work to tide me over through class tonight.” Y/n shrugged, lifting the textbook from her lap.

“You mean after school?” Barb cut in looking at the younger woman skeptically.

“Mmhmm. No need to worry, I’ve done it loads of times before. I forget my lunch a lot more than I care to admit.”

“Oh sweetheart, well that’s not healthy.” Barb said, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“I know, I know. I try not to but I think I’ve done it so often that I hardly notice anyway.”

“Well that’s not happening anymore, get over here.” Melissa said, pulling out the chair next to her. Y/n looked at the older woman in confusion, not fully understanding what was happening. She didn’t move but watched as the older woman pulled a fork from one of the drawers and wedged it into the tupperware dish she’d been eating. When her eyes landed on Y/n’s face she looked at her expectantly. When the older woman didn’t say anything, Y/n grabbed her books and moved over to the older women’s table and sat in the seat obediently. With Y/n situated, Melissa slid the food in front of her and patted Y/n’s back, “Now eat.”

Y/n went to protest but before she could even speak there was a fork-full of pasta in her mouth. Her eyes widened in shock initially but melted shut when the food hit her taste buds. “Oh this is so good.” At the praise Melissa smirked and went back to scrolling on her phone as Barbara laughed with a smile. From then on Melissa made it a point to pack a bit more food for lunch. And if Barbara asked about it she simply shrugged citing her large portion sized cooking as the reason. As Y/n and Melissa became closer, it seemed easier for the younger woman to take care of herself. With someone checking on her as often as Melissa had taken to, it became second nature.

One day after a particularly demanding week of homework and tests, Melissa found Y/n sprawled out on the teachers lounge’s couch once again. It was a very similar scene to the first time but unlike last time, when the door closed Y/n didn’t start awake. If anything, she burrowed further into the couch and threw her arm over her eyes. Melissa paused briefly watching the younger woman sleep and sighed. She only looked at Y/n for a few more seconds before making her mind up. She sat her things at her table and pulled her jacket off of her arms. She walked over draping it across the younger teacher and then made her way to her table. She positioned her chair toward the door and watched the door. It wasn’t long before the door swung open revealing Janine ready to talk about God knows what, but as soon as her eyes met Melissa’s she closed her mouth. The older woman sent a menacing glare her way before placing her finger up to her lips. Janine, though confused, tip-toed further into the room and took a seat at one of the other tables in the room. By the time everyone was in the room, Melissa had quietly declared that the teacher’s lounge was experiencing a quiet lunch and with her reputation no one questioned her.

The bell rang signaling the end of lunch and that seemed to be the only thing to rouse Y/n from her sleep. By this point everyone had made their way to their own classrooms and the only two people remaining were Melissa and Y/n. The younger woman groaned as she opened one of her eyes to scan the room. She paused briefly as her senses were overwhelmed with a very familiar fragrance. She looked down seeing the familiar leather jacket draped over her shoulders and felt her cheeks heat at being caught asleep again. Before she could say anything Melissa spoke leaning against the back of the chair next to the couch.

“Good morning hon,” She spoke, leveling Y/n with a soft look of concern. “I thought we talked about you taking care of yourself?”

“We did, I’ve just been cranking out a lot of papers this week. Had an extra late night last night trying to finish one before the weekend.” Y/n explained placing her feet on the floor and facing the older woman.

“Well when is it due?” Melissa asked moving to sit on the arm of the chair.

“Not until Sunday night, but I use my weekends to plan for the week here and catch up on grading.” Y/n explained.

“And when do you take time for yourself?” Melissa prompted.

“When I sleep it’s just me and my dreams. So I count those few hours every night as self-care.”

“Haha, very funny hon. You know that actually does not count right? You just slept through lunch. I think we need to think of some new ways to make sure you’re getting things done. Ways don’t include skipping meals and hours of sleep.”

“I slept through lunch? I slept through Janine’s latest life update and Jacob’s flailing? I really must be tired.” Y/n said, shaking her head before moving to rise from the couch. “And I gotta go get my kids for recess.”

“Don’t worry about that right now. I told Jacob to take them with his kids. And as much as I agree that you are extremely tired, the teacher’s lounge was having a silent lunch today. But I don’t think we can do that every day so we’re gonna have to figure something else out.”

“Jacob is taking my kids to recess?” Y/n asked, looking at the redhead in disbelief. Before Melissa could confirm, Y/n seemed to pick up on something else she said. “Wait, did you just say silent lunch?”

Melissa shook her head in amusement at the fifth grade teacher, “Yes to both. And before you ask how? Think about who you’re talking to.”

Y/n nodded with red cheeks realizing the redhead had done quite a bit for her during her slumber. “Thanks.” She finally mustered up the courage to say.

“You’re welcome, I’m glad to help. But I’d be even happier if you’d meet me halfway with this.”

Y/n nodded in understanding, “I’m sorry, I’ve always just been like this and I overestimate how much I can actually handle. I didn’t realize anyone would care so much.”

“Well I do. Listen, how about we find sometime to get you set up with a healthier schedule? I’ll even make you dinner and everything.” Melissa suggested hopefully. “I’d really like that. I have to be honest, I didn’t take you for the mentor type of the group.” Y/n said with a shrug unconsciously pulling the older woman’s leather jacket closer to her chest.

“Oh I’m not. That’s definitely more of a Barb thing, but I have my moments. And my reasons.” Melissa smiled softly at Y/n.

“Well I appreciate it and I won’t take your help for granted.”

“Good girl. Now come on, recess is almost over.”

Y/n’s cheeks heated at the older woman’s words before she nodded and stood to walk out of the door with the woman. Melissa collected her things from the table and grabbed a tupperware container from the fridge and met Y/n at the door. She pushed the food into her hands as she’d been doing for the last couple of weeks and moved to head out of the door. Just as they were about to cross the threshold of the breakroom she extended the jacket toward the woman. “Oh, probably need this back. Thanks.”

“No problem hon, don’t leave before seeing me. We can find a night sometime soon. Alright?”

“Yes ma’am.” Y/n saluted before both women parted ways.

“Knock knock. You ready to go?” Barb asked as she leaned against the door frame of Melissa’s classroom.

“You can go on without me, I’m waiting on Y/n. We’ve gotta figure out when she’s free.” Melissa said casually turning in her desk chair to face her best friend.

“You finally ask her out?” Barb asked with a smirk causing Melissa’s cheeks to heat.

“What? No? What are you talking about? I’m just gonna help her figure out how to take care of herself a bit better.” Melissa sputtered.

“Right because you’re so good at that yourself.” Barb rolled her eyes.

“Hey! I’m pretty good. And you do the same thing with Janine.” Melissa defended.

“Yes, but I don’t want to take Janine to bed. We are not the same Melissa.”

“Oh would you get out of here before she hears you!”

“You didn’t deny it!” Barbara grinned.

“Bye Barb.” Melissa groaned. Barbara smiled in victory before sending a wink over to her friend and leaving the building.

#msschemmenti #lisa ann walter x reader #abbott elementary x reader #lisa ann walter #melissa schemmenti x reader

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kvtie444 · 4 months

Text

⋆‧₊˚ TEACHERS PET pt. 5

A/N: ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18!! ehh not proofread lol

Summary: Reader has a new teacher and finds herself falling for him blahblahblah teachers pet by melanie vibes xoxo

Warnings: nsfw, swearing, mentions of struggling/mental health,

master list with other parts here !!

・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Reader pov

From Matt

Can we talk, please?

I'm sorry.

I’ve left him on opened for nearly 2 weeks now, skipping all of his lectures. I feel like shit. I mean this whole situation was ridiculous, no way did I actually believe my teacher was catching feelings for me.

Im laying in bed, my laptop propped up on my tummy whilst im eating popcorn, when I get an email notification, from the school board. Shit. I click on it.

Dear: Y/n L/n

Please consider this a letter of warning concerning your continuing attendance problems. Attendance records indicate that since 02/12/23, you have used a total of 13 days on leave.

This letter shall serve as a written warning, that if excessive sick leave usage continues, you will be placed of a medical certificate requirement. You may also risk facing permanent exclusion.

We would like to speak to you on 20/12/23 in class 1W 3.30 to discuss this further.

Thank you.

I need to get my shit together.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The next day arrives, and I reluctantly make my way to the class, anxiety gnawing at me. The school board meeting is scheduled for today, and the thought of facing potential consequences weighs heavily on my mind.

Entering the classroom, I nervously scan the room, and to my surprise, Matt is here - just Matt.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, a hint of tension in my voice. "I need to be here. I am your teacher, aren't I?" he replies, his tone calm but with an undercurrent of concern.

The tension in the air is palpable, and I can't shake off the feeling that someone knows about my affair with Matt. The paranoia sets in, making every glance and whisper feel like a potential accusation.

The minutes tick by slowly and in silence, me and Matt sharing an occasional glance, and when the door opens, my heart skips a beat. Two figures enter the room - a stern-looking woman from the headboard and another person who turns out to be a representative from the school's administration. Panic sets in, and I can feel the colour draining from my face.

The stern woman from the headboard steps forward, her eyes fixed on me. "Y/n L/n, is it?" she questions, her tone authoritative.

I nod, my throat dry, unable to form words. Matt shifts uncomfortably beside me, his eyes darting between me and the approaching figures.

"We're here to discuss your attendance issues," the administrator states, flipping through some papers. "It has come to our attention that your frequent absences are jeopardizing your academic standing."

As they continue to speak, my mind races. Do they know about Matt? Is this about our affair? I try to maintain composure, avoiding eye contact with Matt.

"We understand that personal matters can affect attendance, but it's essential to find a balance," the stern woman adds.

I nod again, managing a weak response, "Yes, I understand."

They go on to suggest counselling and support services, and my mind starts to ease. Maybe this isn't about Matt. Perhaps they're genuinely concerned about my well-being.

However, as the meeting concludes, the stern woman fixes her gaze on me and says, "We hope to see an improvement, Ms. L/n. Remember, your education is crucial."

The relief is short-lived. As they leave the room, Matt leans towards me, his expression a mix of concern and confusion. "You okay?" he whispers.

"Mhm," I reply, trying to sound convincing, but doubt lingers in my voice.

"Are you sure?" he persists, scepticism in his eyes.

"Yep," I repeat, unsure whether I believe it myself.

In the aftermath of the meeting, Matt's concerned gaze follows me as we both exit the classroom. The weight of the unspoken truth hangs between us, making the air thick with tension. I can't bring myself to meet his eyes, fearing that he might see the panic and uncertainty that lingers in mine.

"Hey," he speaks up. I turn my head to look at Matt, who nods, motioning to the left. He grabs my hand, pulling me through an archway and behind a secluded column.

"What's up with you, Y/n? Why haven't you replied to my messages?" he asks, his blue eyes looking down into mine. I look away, but he brings his free hand up to force my jaw to face him. I meet his gaze before speaking up, "I'm talking to someone else," I lie straight through my teeth. I wanted to make him jealous, wanted to piss him off.

"Oh?" he coos at me, slightly tilting his head. "Who?" he asks, walking forward with me, pinning me against the wall, our chests practically touching.

"Some guy from this frat house," I think quickly. A small hum leaves his lips before his head cranes down, kissing my neck softly, his hot breath sending chills down my body.

"Thought you said you only liked older guys," he mumbles against my skin. My eyes flutter shut, and my hands instinctively go to his hair.

"I didn't-" I gasp as Matt bites down against my neck, sucking harshly. "I didn't say exclusively," I whine.

"Does he make you feel as good as me?" he mumbles, kissing down my collar, looking up into my eyes through his fluffy hair. I bite my lip to contain my small moans. He bites down again, urging me to answer.

"No," I whine.

"Good," he mumbles against my skin before coming back to my lips and hungrily kissing me, his hands tight on my hips. My nails rake down his chest as his knee slightly parts my leg, rubbing against me, causing me to moan against his lips. What the hell am I doing?

I pull away. "Matt," he looks down at me, shit he looks so good when his lips are all pink and plump after kissing me. I gently push him away. "I can't do this," I say, putting my hands out and walking ahead. He scoffs slightly behind me as I walk ahead.

Matt Pov 😌

I watch Y/n walk away, her silhouette fading into the distance, and guilt washes over me like a relentless tide. No matter how hard I tried to make her hate me, we kept gravitating back towards each other. I couldn't deny the electrifying allure of our connection, even though every rational part of me screamed that it was wrong.

But now, worry consumes me. She's gone off the grid, skipping my lessons, and her grades are undoubtedly plummeting. I can't stand seeing her spiral like this. As much as I've pushed her away, there's a haunting realization that her well-being matters to me more than I let on.

The mention of the frat boy was an obvious lie. Selfish as it may sound, I know she's whipped on me. I treated her poorly, spoke to her like shit, yet she still sought me out. It's a toxic cycle we're caught in, and I'm complicit in it.

I sigh heavily as I make my way to the car park, unlocking my car. The rain looms in the distance, and another wave of guilt crashes over me. She's probably walking home in the downpour right now, and the thought twists my stomach in knots.

A sudden impulse guides me to text her,

From Matt

Need a lift?

From Y/n

I sent her my parking spot, she approaches the car, raindrops cascade over her, framing her figure in a glistening silhouette. She enters the car, and I can't help but notice the weariness in her eyes.

"Thanks," she mumbles, avoiding eye contact. The air in the car is thick with unspoken words, and the rhythmic patter of rain against the car roof creates a cocoon of intimacy.

"Y/n," I start, my voice low and sincere, "I can't keep pretending like this is okay. We need to talk about us, about what's happening."

She nods, "Matt, I really like you. Like a lot. But you're such a headfuck. I mean, one minute you're literally all over me, making me feel like the happiest girl in the world. Then the next thing I know, you want nothing to do with me. It makes me feel used, and I hate you for it. But at the same time, I can't stop myself from crawling back to you," she confesses, her wet hair clinging to her skin as she looks up at me, vulnerability in her gaze.

I lick my lips, taking in the weight of her words. She's bared her soul, and the honesty cuts through the tension. I sigh, unable to deny the truth, "I like you, Y/n. You're smart, funny, pretty, and just overall an amazing girl. But this can't work, as much as I want it to. I tried to push you away, and look how far that got us. Y/n, do you realize how fucked this situation is? I mean, I'm your teacher," I emphasize, my tone unintentionally harsh.

"No shit," she mumbles, her gaze shifting away, focusing on the rain-splattered window.

"Hey," I say quietly, attempting to regain her attention. She turns to look back at me, her eyes searching mine. It's a critical moment, and I have a decision to make. Keep seeing her, make her happy, but risk everything. Or break her heart and face her almost every day in my lectures, knowing how much I hurt her. Shit.

"Do you wanna..." I take a pause, feeling the weight of my words. Do I really want to do this? Yes.

"Do you wanna go out with me sometime? Like a real date?"

・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

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#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #angst #nick sturniolo #fluff #imagine #smut #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #spotify #christopher sturniolo #daddy frank #hear me out

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iberiancadre · 5 days

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I want to preface this question by saying that it is in genuine good faith, I am a communist exploring the issues they have with the various branches and not trying to stir the pot, and you seem pretty thoughtful and clear-headed so I hope you don't mind my asking.

To be direct - what do MLs make of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact and the following Soviet-Nazi Commerical Agreements?

Naturally I recognise that a lot of what's said in the West about the USSR is propaganda, and I absolutely recognise & respect Lenin's leadership, but I really don't see a way around the fact that Stalin sold oil to Hitler, and as the descendent of a Ukrainian Jew who fled the famine and crossed the continent to escape the rising tide of violent anti-Semitism I don't feel that I could, in good conscience, ally myself with people who support a leader that had any sort of positive relations with the Nazis, no matter how MLs otherwise do have strong merits.

Omg a good-faith question on Stalin and the Holodomor, I feel honored, thanks for you calmness, anon. Everything you've asked I've already made a post about it, or a far more informed tumblr comrade has made a post about it, so I'll just link/quote those ^^

Molotov-Ribbentrop:

(I wanted to put the text of the post here in an indent but it's not letting me post it with it so.)

Personally I'm not as informed on the commercial agreements as I am regarding the pact, so I will not say much in detail except that, knowing the foreign policy of the USSR at this time, it was probably wagered that the trade would have benefited the USSR more than it did Germany. Of course, there are many things to criticize about their foreign policy without having to resort to meaningless handwringing about "totalitarianism" and horseshoe theory. It is doubtless that, in the time of peace when the trades happened (assuming it is a simple as the USSR just selling oil to Germany), this helped fuel their conquest and oppression. It is also doubtless that the benefit it brought to the USSR contributed to their eventual victory.

Before talking about the Holodomor, a quick quote on anti-semitism in the USSR pre-WW2:

It was German practice as they entered Soviet territories to encourage the local populace to engage in pogroms against the Jews as a first stage in their genocidal policy. They had some success in those areas which had become part of the Soviet Union since 1939 but in the Soviet Union proper there was no evidence of spontaneous anti-Semitism. A Jewish historian commentated that “In Byelorussia, a conspicuous difference is evidenced between the old Soviet part of the region and the area which had previously belonged to Poland and was under Soviet rule from September 1939 to June 1941. Nazi and anti-Jewish propaganda drew a weak response in the former Soviet Byelorussia: we encounter complaints in Nazi documents that, ‘it is extremely hard to incite the local populace to pogroms because of the backwardness of the Byelorussian peasants with regard to racial consciousness.’” Another view of the cause of the racial attitudes in Byelorussia was given in a secret memorandum by a collaborator to the chief of the German army in August 1942. He wrote: “There is no Jewish problem for the Byelorussian people. For them, this is purely a German matter. This derives from Soviet education which has negated racial difference … The Byelorussians sympathize with, and have compassion for the Jews, and regard the Germans as barbarians and the hangman of the Jew, whom they consider human beings equal to themselves …”

The Russians are Coming: The Politics of Anti-Sovietism, by V. L. Allen

The USSR managed like no other European country to so effectively suppress antisemitism in an region that just 30 or 40 years prior was witness to pogroms.

The Holodomor: (This is a reblog and not the original post because OP is deactivated).

This is I think a good summary of my beliefs and it's well sourced. Basically, it wasn't a genocide, but a famine which was part of a long historical cycle of famines in the general region. It didn't just affect Ukrainians, and almost just as many Russians died in the famine than did Ukrainians. Moscow was particularly affected by this. It is also of note that it was the last famine that happened in the region. This is a similar accusation to the famine in the years of the Great Leap Forward in China, which was also the last famine in a more than a 1000 year cycle of famines in China. Weird how in both of these DotPs, a cyclical famine happened, it was also the end of the cycle, but capitalists assign it the category of genocide just this once. Nevermind the very targeted and constant global famine which, through the unequal distribution of resources, kills 9 million people each year, almost exclusively in imperialized countries whose wealth is syphoned to the imperial core. Mind you, this is not saying that the famines discussed were less bad because capitalists worldwide and throughout history have killed more people and continue to do so. This is just to point out the very obvious double standard when it comes to labeling famines as genocides.

#real marxist hours

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theallegedbird · 4 months

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look this really isn't the kind of post i'd normally make but why the fuck aren't we talking about trans rights in the uk. this is just the latest thing they've thrown at us. it's absolute shit here to be blunt.

on the 19th the uk department of education (DfE) released its guidance for schools and colleges and how they deal with trans kids

its bad. really fucking bad.

but there is some hope in that they are asking for feedback from teachers and school leaders, myself and a friend wrote a document going through why the guidelines are so awful but stopped after focusing on four points since it was. half midnight on the same day this guidance was released. we then gave this to as many teachers as we could before the holiday break and believe me it did a lot, we're working on completing a full version soon

so, uk students, i am begging you to do similar and try persuade your teachers to give feedback (if its safe for you to do so), you'd be surprised how supportive they can be if you break down what this guidance will bring

teacher feedback can be given here, the deadline is the 12th of march 2024

i'm going to go through some of the worst parts of this guidance, keep in mind that according to the education secretary gillian keegan, "this guidance puts the best interests of all children first" utter bullshit obviously

to start off throughout this whole thing they never use the word trans/transgender, just "gender questioning" which feels so fucked up to me

ok so to be blunt essentially what this is going to do is to out any trans kids who want to socially transition to their parents, as well as the fact a school can just. fucking decline any request to socially transition.

"The… guidance clarifies that schools and colleges do not have to, and should not, accept all requests for social transition."

"We are also clear how vital it is that parents are informed and involved in the decisions that impact their children’s lives."

"Parents’ views must also be at the heart of all decisions made about their children – and nowhere is that more important than with decisions that can have significant effects on a child’s life for years to come.”

oh yeah they also connote the whole "trans kids can just get permanent altering medical treatment" bs

on top of that we have this shit

"In exceptional cases where a request to social transition is agreed, children, teachers or staff at a school should not be required to adopt the use of preferred pronouns and there must be no sanction, verbal or otherwise."

so even if you're fucking allowed to socially transition people can straight up misgender you with no fucking consequences. they are legitimately making it so transphobia cant be punished

there is so much more fucked up stuff in this thing as well but you can read that yourself

they are going to kill trans kids if this goes through. they fucking know that. i have the privilege of being out to my parents and them being tolerant but so many closeted trans kids, friends of mine included, wouldn't be able to safely come out even in school. and i know personally how shitty your mental health can get in that situation.

the intent of this guidance is simply put, not in the interest of ‘protecting children’, but in the further marginalisation of an already extremely vulnerable group. they're trying to wipe us out.

uk students, please inform your teachers of what this guidance will do and get them to oppose it in feedback. others just try and spread the word

protect trans kids and fuck the tories.

#i cant keep fucking doing this it feels like every week they've got a new thing to attack us with #why the fuck is no one talking about trans rights in the uk.#protect trans kids #trans rights #uk politics #politics #uk trans rights #trans #transgender #fuck the tories #transphobia #important #avery rambles

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melonba11s · 2 months

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A Public Apology

I would like to start this by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry for my words in the past that have hurt others.

I will not be naming any names for the sake of privacy, and so that these people can hopefully have some peace. I do not want anyone to be hurt.

In mid-January of 2023, in the now closed Patreon Server for YKMET, A person posted a black and white doodle of a character. I was not looking closely and referred to what I saw in part the drawing as a “blob monster”. I was corrected, told that it was a drawing of the person's natural hair texture from behind. I did not read the tone of the conversation correctly, and thought everything was taken in stride as a mistake that could be joked about.

The next day, the same person who posted the drawing was talking about Marten, a character from a Webcomic called Facility. This character is known for having black shadow-like hallucinations.

I made a joke, stating that Marten may mistake the person's hair for one of his hallucinations.

Immediately the person asked me to stop. I deleted the comment. I then instantly DM’d them an apology.

My apology was not a good one. I apologized for “being cringe on main”. My words made it clear that I did not understand how hurtful and racially charged my comment was. No more words were exchanged between me and the person afterwards. I knew I had hurt them, and told myself I would watch what I said from here on out, but failed to say this to the person I’d hurt or to anyone else.

It was only when it was brought back up a year later, in January 2024, did I realize just how hurtful my words must have been. I realized the horribly racist connotations of what I said.

I made another apology, this one public, but failed to say what I did. I can’t hide what I did. To censor myself and hide what I did is the same thing as acting as though it never happened.

But it did.

What I said about this person’s hair was unacceptable and racist. It came from a place of ignorance.

There were also statements about me making offensive remarks on Jamaican culture or making fun of someone for being Jamaican.

I do need to state that I do not remember anything about my remarks on Jamaican culture.

What I remember when it came to topics of Jamaica was talking about Jamaican food and how I wanted to try some, as I had never had it before.

However, I can understand that I could just be forgetting what I said that was hurtful and bigoted because it did not affect me. So I apologize again, and I will continue to educate myself on other cultures, and learn to think before I speak, and when I do speak, ask questions and not just make statements.

I do not want to remain an ignorant person. I want to learn. I want to grow. And most of all, I want to show that I am sorry for what I said.

If the person I hurt happens to read this, I am sorry. I regret what I said. If I could take back the hurt I caused you, I would.

I won’t ask for your forgiveness.

All I hope for you is that you are surrounded by people who treat you with more kindness, understanding and respect than I did.

Again, I am sorry. I cannot excuse my words. I can only apologize for them, and learn from my mistakes so that I can be a better friend in the future.

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faggy--butch · 4 months

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Really confused by your "lesbian trans men" post. The way I think of "lesbian", it's not a term of identity signification, it's a term for a specific type of sexual orientation and relationship.

It doesn't make sense that someone can be a "lesbian trans man" to me, because they are a trans man first, that is their identity. And because of that identity of being male, they are disqualified from being in a lesbian relationship, because a lesbian relationship is specifically female/female.

I'm not a terf, fuck terfs. A trans woman and a cis woman in a relationship are still lesbians. I'm just confused how a trans man can be a lesbian if he's not a woman. If the trans man is attracted to women, wouldn't that make him heterosexual, therefore straight? I'd understand if he was genderfluid, then he would swap back and forth from straight to lesbian depending on which gender he/she is.

The way I look at it, there are two "categories" of being queer. Identity and orientation. Identity comes first, it's what you are. Orientation comes second, it's what you're into. Identity is stuff like being cis, trans, genderfluid, etc. Orientation is stuff like being straight, gay, bi, ace, etc. And in my mind those two categories are completely separate, except where the orientation category depends on the larger identity category, such as "lesbian" being an orientation applicable to women into women, not applicable to men, trans or otherwise.

Please, educate me if I'm completely wrong in thinking about queerness this way, and why.

Well, I think your first mistake was trying to categorize queerness. Queerness by definition defies the boxes that get put on gender and sexuality. That's part of why a lot of people like calling themselves and the community queer, it's all encompassing. I also take issue with sexuality 'only' being an orientation. I certain identify as a lesbian, my sexual identity is just as important to me as my gender identity. I don't just "like girls" which what orientation is. I'm a lesbian, a dyke, it's a part of who i am. it's the way i define myself along with being butch, and to some people their sexual identity can be even more important than their gender one. To some people their gender identity is in fact lesbian.

You have to get it out of your mind that if something doesn't make sense, that it's wrong. It's not for anyone to tell a person what they can or can't identify as, or if they're misgendering themselves or whatever. I mean go to the HER app and you'll figure out quick that there are trans men in lesbian spaces, identifying as lesbians, there always have been.

Trying to fit trans people into the cishetro view of the world is not only never going to work, but it also actively hurts us. It's saying that we HAVE to be like them, we have to emulate our experiences off of the "real" genders and sexualities of white cishet people. that we have to match or we're doing it wrong, that it's not real until we're like them. As a non binary person i reject that entirely. I don't want people to tell me what they think I am, and I'm not going to do it to anyone else. I think everyone would benefit from learning about multigender, multisexual, and the split attraction model, and like talking to intersex people.

#asks #queer

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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AITA for not letting my parents pay for my college?

I'm a high school senior and am going to college soon. My parents have been saying for a while that they'll completely cover all costs- as long as I study to be a doctor and get a Phd. I've always wanted to be a biologist; I don't want to get a Phd either, just a Master's. I recently told my parents my plans, and they completely flipped: my mother started crying and telling me how I'd "failed" her and my dad completely lost his shit and started screaming at me about the "disadvantaged" in this world and how I should respect the fact that they're trying to set me up for a higher education. Part of the reason for this reaction is my older sister dropped out of college after going there with the highest expectations on her shoulders: but dropped out and left to bartend at a club with some of her friends. My parents are now paranoid that I may do something as audacious. I just left the room and told them later that I'll work through college and pay for it myself with the help of scholarships.

But honestly I feel like I owe it to them to give them one child who isn't a failure in their eyes. I know that sounds bratty or something to you, but don't judge me unless you've grown up with an actually toxic parent. Also, if being a biologist and going my own route fails, I'll have nothing in my name but the fact that I defied them and ended up like that because of it. Did I just have a stupid rebellious streak and was the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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heilos · 3 months

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Hello! My name is Moriah and I am a junior in high school. I was wondering if I might be able to get your insight on a few questions I have?

I am in my final years of high school and am starting to think about college but I have no idea what I want to pursue. I know I love art, so for a long time I have been thinking about getting an art major or going to an art school.

I’m reaching out because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR ART and I think you are a very talented artist! I have been in love with your art for so long and I am curious and wondering how you are able to fit drawing into your life?

1.) If you went to college for art, what was it like? Do you think going to school for art or having an art major is worth it?

2.) how can I fit art into my everyday life? I’m sure you have work and other things to do in your life so how do you balance it out? (I just want to know how you can draw as much as you do!)

3.) do you do art as a full-time career or part-time career? is it an alright source of income? If it is a part-time career, how do you balance work, personal life, and art?

Thank you so much! And sorry if these questions might seem personal. I just want to know how other artist manage to draw and create their work and still have an adult life. Thanks again, and thank you for being a huge inspiration in my life to create the art I love! Your art means so much to me!❤️❤️ ❤️

Hi Moriah! Thank you so much for your patience since it took me a bit to answer this. I'll do my best to be as honest as possible. 1) I think going to college can be beneficial even if I wish i'd done things differently. In hindsight I would have definitely taken more time to really look through all available options instead of gunning straight for the most "prestigious" looking colleges since the idea of having a big name school on your resume was pretty prevalent when I was growing up. I went to Savannah College of Art and Design or SCAD for short and while I don't regret the friends I made there, I do regret not understanding just how much an institution like that ended up costing in loans compared to what I got out of it education wise. It always hurts my heart to see other kids get chained to huge amounts of student loan debt that could have been avoided. And even then you don't necessarily need a college degree for every type of art job. Your portfolio is what really matters more to prospective work places if you're looking at a career related to art. I would also keep in mind that the field is very competitive depending on what your goals are. Do you want to get into animation? game design? illustration? comics? prop design, character design or environment design? ect ect. Always try and give yourself the best advantage you can with researched knowledge of what you might be getting yourself into. Also there is no rush to go immediately into college even if you're dead set on wanting to attend one. Please give yourself as much time as you need to really make that decision and, if you have the option, don't feel pressured into thinking you HAVE to make that choice immediately out of high school. 2) I do get quite a bit of production art done on my days off mostly since I'm very experienced in working on group projects like Mystery Skulls Animated. When you're doing art and production work with other people, there's a different mindset in that others are relying on you to keep decently productive so that you're not holding up the pipeline if you're dedicated to seeing a project through to completion. Now when it comes to purely fun art on the side, I've actually only recently started balancing my time out better with work to sketch since the draw back of working on a group project like this for so long is a certain level of burn out. I had about a 2-3 year period where I couldn't get myself to draw much of anything even if I was excited about something like a new game or animated series and it's taken awhile to come to terms with the time lost since my body and head needed that time to recover and that's something i'm much more ok with now. I'm not the absolute best on advice for time management unfortunately, but seeking out projects that might interest you and lets you collaborate with other artists is definitely one way to keep yourself excited and engaged when wanting to make art. Just know and/or learn your limits and you'll be better about not getting too burned out when trying to find that decent balance of art time and other life activities. 3) I actually don't do art full time even if that was originally the plan back in college. I personally found out that I didn't want to turn it into a job the closer graduation came, but that varies completely from person to person and plenty of up and coming artists have found fulfillment in having art be their job too. I used to make prints for conventions so that was a partial income source for a little bit, but again for me it got tiring and I ended up getting a different more physical job to supplement my income while still being able to have enough time to stick around with my friend group on our music video projects. And again there's no shame in taking some time in trying to figure out if you want to make art your job and coming to a different conclusion. Sometimes the things we plan when we're younger take a wildly different turn out of left field and education or job aspirations are very much included in that.

#personal #personal ramblings #long post #college #art college #I hope some of these answers helped with your questions!

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umeji-writes · 6 months

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I would like to talk about the Music Festival arc - aka my favorite Mairuma arc until now. I love them all tbh, this is just very close to my heart for several reasons. [cw: non-suggestive discussion of s*x; if you are a s*x-repulsed asexual person you are very much welcome to interact, but this may not be the post for you, take care and proceed with caution ♡ edit: I'm uncensoring the words from here onwards thanks to a kind anon's suggestion] To make it short, I love that the main theme of this arc is pleasure, and the desire for it. Honestly, it's very horny - but not in a slimy or creepy way, which is sadly quite rare in my experience. The appreciation for pleasure coming from love (also platonic love) is there in several layers. First, the plot itself, as Lilith cries out her desire to find "a love that burns like fire". She is not satisfied by most pretenders, and especially this frame spoke to me:

Because... Well... It's so true. I am an adult, and I had my share of sexual partners. The expressions people make irl are not always aesthetically pleasing, but who cares! We are told to strive to be always attractive, but in those moments of intimacy it's really not important, not as much as being fully present and enjoying the moment! Then, can we talk about Kalego please?

I mean, Nishi here went all out and didn't even try to hide her fascination for ...discipline:

(and to be fully clear: I am NOT implying there is sexual tension between Kalego and his students, I am only referring to him!!!) When I saw the whip I couldn't believe my eyes. Of course in that context it's not used that way, but it's very much recognizable as an adult tool... But more on this later. Finally, I really like that the Misfits are growing up and finding out new things about themselves. They are characterized as high school students (even if we don't know how old they actually are), which is when humans tend to have their first experiences and explore their sexualities. They are building together this beautiful show full of emotions and desire, and honestly performing with other people is really an amazing feeling (I am a former musician and theater actor - let me tell you, every performance was fire). Look at their faces: from here...

...to here.

They are shocked, but happy! And definitely feeling ...feelings. And here is my main takeaway: I am really, really sad that sex is a taboo topic in our society, and when there's something about sex, it's mostly treated in a very bad way. This includes sex scenes in generic-audience movies, which I tend to dislike... I hate that sex is handled like a dirty and secret thing. I hate that sex is mostly treated as something that has to do with power imbalance and taking advantage of someone else, usually men that "want to do stuff TO" women (nonbinary individuals like myself not found) - and too often not in a hot and consensual way. I hate that social media are becoming more and more sex-hostile, because investors fear these topics, and use children as a shield to justify limiting contents for adults as well. I hate that sexual education is mainly reserved for talking about pregnancies and, if the students are lucky, prevention of STDs. Solo or reciprocal pleasure? Consent? Treating it as a normal part of life for many people (and not ALL, again, asexual people exist)??? Naaaah, why do that, when you can make people feel shame and embarassment and perpetuate trauma. Again, I am a grown-up now, and while this is legal and everything, I was conditioned to feel some level of shame nonetheless when talking about it irl (which I am working on). The whip I was writing about before (and the kneeling scene afterward)? It was a revolution in my brain. "So... That's a thing we can do...?"

(like that) I plan on doing some adult drawings in the future, but there's a part of me that resists the idea, because adult entertainment usually involves some level of dehumanization... But you know what? I want to take it back and make it about pleasure and enjoyment as it should be. Tbh, I could write a whole essay on the causes for all of the above and how they interact (patriarchy, capitalism, religions as power institutions, etc.), but this is not the place. So I'll just say that I am really, really grateful to Nishi for including this arc in a manga for a young audience, as those are important years to build a healthy relationship with pleasure and one's own body. And as Sullivan said...

I'm very much convinced that Nishi is doing a great job at sending messages for inclusion and social equality in M!IK, taking the role of educator herself. (Other reasons why I love the Music Festival arc are: Soi's story, Clara and Azz becoming closer, Iruma learning the piano, the appreciation of music itself, the immaculate art and more, but that's for another post!!!)

#mairimashita! iruma kun #m!ik #mairuma #iruma #manga analysis #welcome to demon school iruma kun #welcome to demon school #music festival arc #naberius kalego #m!ik kalego #kalego sensei #misfit class #asmodeus alice #cw sex mention #cw sexuality #tw sex mention #sex positivity #m!ik fandom #m!ik analysis

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