#i am NOT judging i cry too

[firenati0n]

wip wednesday <3 :)

hello :) happy wednesday, hope everyone is having a nice week so far! thank you to @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @zwiazdziarka @itsmaybitheway @bigassbowlingballhead @wordsofhoneydew @ships-to-sail @eusuntgratie @captainjunglegym @theprinceandagcd @getmehighonmagic @songliili @nocoastposts @magicandarchery @sherryvalli @littlemisskittentoes @kiwiana-writes @suseagull04 for the tags :)

here's a snip from "the full spectrum of human emotion" aka the proposal au aka my child aka my beloved:

They go back and forth, questions flying to fill the flight time. Alex learns about Henry’s morning routine (rigid, a bed-maker through and through) and his favorite cologne (something expensive he’s currently wearing, clean linens and fresh grass meant to drive Alex completely fucking insane), and Henry learns about Alex’s guilty pleasures (eating cajeta straight from the container while watching trashy reality tv) and the last thing that made him cry (an Instagram reel of baby goats). Many opinions are exchanged, numerous jokes made—mostly at Henry’s expense, he makes it way, way too easy. It feels a little too natural and lighthearted and Alex is free falling as he learns more and more about Henry Fox-Mountchristen, little details that add color to his life, softening the harsh edges and melting the cold exterior. Alex feels pretty fucking good about it all, until he realizes they haven’t touched on a major topic, one that is relatively uncharted territory for the both of them.

xoxo roop

+ tags under the cut <3 and open tag as usual :)

@ninzied @dumbpeachjuice @leaves-of-laurelin @inexplicablymine @priincebutt @whimsymanaged @futureseaempress @happiness-of-the-pursuit @tintagel-or-cockleshells @cricketnationrise @tailsbeth-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @myheartalivewrites @onward--upward @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @anchoredarchangel @gay-flyboys @cultofsappho @welcometololaland @gayrootvegetable @rockyroadkylers @orchidscript @cha-melodius @candyspandemonium @onthewaytosomewhere @junebugclaremontdiaz @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @anincompletelist

#rwrb #rwrb fic #roop writes #my post #fic: tfsohe #i need to be more like henry and make my bed more diligently #i try i swear #also i did cry the other day over a reel of baby goats don't fucking judge me okay i was bleating right alongside them #i am on my Period #that is my JUSTIFICATION #i cried five times today and one of them was from HORNINESS AND ALSO YEARNING #thanks for that nicholas galitzine fuck you too #xoxo

[constantvariations]

"Ruby wouldn't be angry at Jaune because she would understand it was Penny's choice" as if grief over losing a close friend again after going through so much to save her again wouldn't manifest in absolute rage that blocks out suicide fetish logic. The writers refused Ruby her anger not only to protect their precious Jaune, but because they think certain emotions are evil

I'm constantly thinking about Blake in V5 attributing spite to Adam as if it's a bad thing. Spite is the emotional version of "hold my beer," and is responsible for some incredible things

Lord of the Flies by William Golding is a spiteful response to The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, a story with the same premise of several middle class English boys being stranded on an island. Where Ballantyne has the boys having "wonderful adventures" such as... saving women and children from being killed and eaten by the native Polynesians, Golding depicts the boys falling into savagery as time and isolation grows their paranoia to the point where they start killing each other. Golding was pissed at the saccharine portrayal of English boys as the height of humanity because he was a teacher who taught that exact demographic and damn well knew better

After a teacher said he wasn't smart enough to get into college, Huey P. Newton taught himself how to read and got into law school. When the college committees were more into intellectual talk than action, he said, "Fuck this, I'm gonna make my own group," and he did! It became an international organization that had the FBI shitting themselves! That's the power of spite, baby!!

The writers are using emotions as a shorthand for a character’s morality, which is why Ruby can't be mad at Jaune without losing her status as a hero and why Adam's anger at injustice makes him irredeemable from day one. Ruby's ptsd disappears with a triumphant smile and musical number while Ironwood's vilifies and dehumanizes him even after his death

The writers have tied "negative" emotions to evil and "positive" to good when they're neither. Emotions are a body's response to stimuli, similar to goosebumps and crying. Think of it as a "check engine" light on your car's dashboard. What someone does because of their emotions can be good or bad, but emotions in and of themselves are morally neutral

Really wish people would learn that

#rwde #the demonization of anger is particularly troubling esp in the context of injustice #like??? sorry people dont wanna be sally sunshine abt their rights being taken away #i think it falls into respectability politics and 'the good victim' idea #the only victims considered strong are the ones who take their abuse with grace and poise #youre too weak if youre crying and scared bc of your trauma #youre too afraid if you build walls between you and the world bc of your trauma #youre too hysterical if youre pissed off and lashing out bc of your trauma #the only respected way is to grin and bear it until the abuse stops #which is absolute bullshit #people deserve to have any and every emotion without immediately being judged for having the 'wrong' response #we have so many emotions for a fucking reason!!! #and its super unhealthy to repress any emotion for long periods of time!! thats why so many people are miserable these days!! #fuck that sally sunshine perpetual positivity bullshit. let a mf be pissed off #and for characters let them be pissed off and wrong!! #let them lash out and hurt their friends or smash a car or punch a wall bc thats character conflict!! its drama! #its an opportunity for characters to grow and atone for their mistakes and ask for forgiveness they may not get #let rwby characters be full fledged people i am BEGGING

[aropride]

one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

#text #IT'S DRIVING ME UP A WALL IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MOTNHS #LIKE????? is it like. like is this a me problem is this just me having feelings that are too big #like do other people just.. like for other people does 'feel your feelings' just mean like. feel sad for a while and then stop. cuz i cant #do that i dont get normal sad i get chest pain and think about killing my self for hours on end .is that the problem #like okay if i trip down the stairs and break my leg. im going to cry and go to the hospital. suppressing that would be just using my #broken leg anyway and ignoring it. would regulating it not also be Crying and going to the hospital. would regulating it be like.. putting #a bandaid on it or something is it like.. a middle ground . i do not fucking get it #like okay if i trip down the stairs and i scrape my knee and then i call an ambulance i see how thats not the right response . and i guess #regulating there would be like. calming down thinking things thru and choosing a less drastic solution like a bandaid. i get it #in that situation. but if ive ACTUALLY BROKEN MY LEG. then that would just be the first thing again essentially #but when i put that back into. real world not metaphor world. like. i dont get it again #because if theres not like. an obvious reason for however i feel how am i supposed to judge if im calling an ambulance for a scraped knee #ALSO I THOUGHT THERE 'ARENT ANY WRONG EMOTIONS' WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT -_- #okay no okay it's like. if i trip down the stairs and i skin my knee i dont have to call an ambulance. but if several times a day i fall d #down the stairs and skin my knee in that exact spot and now i can see bone. SHOULD I NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE? #cuz its not just one thing thats upsetting me most of the time it's a combination of a bunch of things and then like one extra upsetting #thing added on top of that. which would necessitate an ambulance. does this make sense #THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE IM STILL JUST AS CONFUSED AS I WAS BEFORE I STARTED TYPING. i need 2 remember 2 ask my therapist #what the fuck ''feel your feelings'' means and how it can coexist with ''regulating feelings'' or whatever cuz i feel like im missing smth #NIK OUT ! PEACE ! ✌️

[xnervouscircus]

oh

that's

oh

i'm

i am legitimately tearing up oh wow

#yeah okay i'm pretty much full-on crying at this #i guess i just assume my writing is the kind of thing you read once and maybe go “that was all right/amusing/evil/stupid” #and proceed to forget about entirely #nothing fucks me up more than people saying they've reread something of mine #IN A GOOD WAY #but yeah it's weird and wild #god i miss writing fanfic #i haven't written much of anything since covid first hit the US #and there's been no fandoms i've been like. IN enough to write for. #and lmao i have literally never not once in my life felt like i could write a good crowley or aziraphale so nope not ruining them. probably #but man i wish i could maybe write some beauyasha or widomauk #and i would love to finish a wangxian or snowbaz fic HOW HAVE I NEVER FINISHED A WANGXIAN OR SNOWBAZ FIC #no taibanis?? no catradoras???? i am a failure #but getting a comment like this. mm. makes the not-writing anxiety ease off a bit. #it's always there and Judging me for not really writing anymore #and yeah i would love to write again. anything. #but at least i wrote something once upon a time and it made some people happy #that's still pretty fucking cool #hope i can share something new someday that might make other people happy too #michele.txt #idk where all this rambling in the tags came from i'm emotional and i miss writing!!!!!!!!!!

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY TO TAKE SUCH A HARD LEFT BUT HOW DO YOU THINK JO FOUND OUT ARAKAWA WAS DEAD

IM GOING TO SCREAM IF I TRY TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOOO I GOTTA GET BACK TO YOU IN 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS WITH THAT ONE............

#snap chats #id shit and cry if aoki was the one that told him in a condescending/bitchy way yk what i mean #like as if to jab at jo like 'oh dont worry about dealing with dad- since you were too incompetent to do it i had someone else handle it' #not that word for word im SURE but yk what i mean. just GENERALLY thats the energy #the timing of this ask is soooo funny i was just talkin to my twit friend bout arasawa #and how youve been inspiring me to draw it more again as of late and this is NOT helping !!!! i am ADDING IT to my LIST #cause i want to be in pain i guess (;´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ`) I JUST SEE IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD EGUUUGHH #im still gonna chew on the idea of How tho im still gonna chew on it cause i have other stuff lined up Obvi but..... OUGH PAIN... #verrrrry awkward when i post a thing in liek an hour cause that shit gon be a lil cute so then i just got this in the back of my dome ☠️☠️ #thank you........ #throwing up as i remember aoki being like 'you're acting strange lately' brb #OUUGHHGH dying. #LIKE IM JUST THINKIG OF ALL THE EMOTIONS JO WOULDVE BEEN FEELING- /ESP/ IF HE WAS IN FRONT OF AOKI #how would he even cope... i mean judging by the eye scene Not Well butu OUUGHvLKJVALKJ #ITS THE CONFLICTED FEELINGS AGAIN CAUSE LIKE he SHOUULDNT care as much as he does right... #arakawa was just his boss... but if THAT was the case why not take him out when jo was first asked too..... #aoki is his priority in life right...... arakawa wasn't supposed to be anyone important BUT THEN HE DID BECOME IMPORTANT #making myself throw up #anyway this is why jo shouldve been allowed to rip tendo to shreds. in my humble opinion. <- sobbing #NAWWW IT THE WAY I HAVE TO GO OUT WITH MY SIS RIGHT AFTER THIS WELKFJALFKJLKVJ #I CANT BE NORMALLLLL

[the-rogue-mockingjay]

💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft

Hiya Middy! Long time no see!! I hope life has been kind to you 💜💜💜

lol we're thinking on the same wavelength today @coldshrugs 😂 :>

anyway. This was supposed to be a snippet. It...did not end up being a snippet omg, it really got away from me kdlfhgjkfdhgk. It's 3:40 in the morning and this is the first piece I've (more or less) finished in like 3 or 4 months. It's just under 1,300 words. Set a few weeks after the big Endwalker finale, so vague mentions of what happened there.

[prompt meme]

nascent hope & new beginnings

The uneven rhythm of O’ravi’s cane tapping on the cobblestone announces her presence before she emerges from the early morning fog that blankets Sharlayan, and Aymeric sets aside the report he was reading, its contents immediately forgotten.

She’s starting to look like herself again, a clarity in her eyes now that’s been absent since her return from Ultima Thule. The silver and teal shawl she’s wrapped around her shoulders clashes somewhat oddly with the dark red tunic dress she wears, which in turn contrasts with the royal blue ribbon that holds her hair in a loose ponytail. It’s a far cry from the well-coordinated outfits she wears for business and battle, but it suits her.

O’ravi smiles, a little lopsidedly, a little shyly, and waves. “Hey.”

“Good morning, Ravi.” He can’t help it—he runs to meet her, and offers his arm. “You’re up early.”

“The pain was too great to stay in bed. So I thought I might as well seek you out, enjoy the fresh air.” She moves to link her arm through his but pauses, a strange look on her face. Instead, she reaches up to grasp his collar and tugs.

Wordlessly, and with no small amount of confusion, he acquiesces to her wish and leans down.

And softly, sweetly, feather-lightly, she presses a kiss to his lips.

She withdraws before he realizes what happened, content. His heart lurches like a wounded animal within his chest, his breath suddenly shaky, and she winds her arm through his as if she didn’t just send him reeling.

He can’t bear to look at her, he can’t bear to look away. The kiss in Ala Mhigo, before she set out for Garlemald—when she’d kissed him like her survival depended on it only to flee for the airship. That was moons ago, and they’d not spoken of it yet. It was never the right time.

Now, this. Against all the odds she defeated Meteion and Zenos and made it home alive, and she could’ve gone to anyone—could’ve sought out anyone she wished—but she chose to be here. With him.

Halone have mercy.

They walk together down the garden path back to the pavilion. Her gait is unsteady and torpid, but between him and the cane she’s at no risk of falling. It frustrates and distresses her to be so robbed of strength, but he’s just glad to see her up and about and alive. Safe, and free.

There’s a chill on the breeze, carrying the promise of snow and the memory of home. The long walks they took through the Pillars on the eve of battles she didn’t believe she’d return from. He lays a hand over hers, letting her clammy hands soak up his warmth. Soon, they’d go home together, and never again would she need to leave fearing what fate awaited her in far-off lands. Not if he had anything to say about it.

They make their way to the bench where Aymeric left the report, and O’ravi attempts to fold her legs beneath her only to cringe and hiss when the motion aggravates some half-dozen different wounds.

“Careful,” Aymeric says, settling down beside her.

“It never gets easier.” She leans the handle of her cane into the corner of the pavilion wall, careful not to knock it over lest its clattering disrupt the morning quiet. Her tail swishes placidly as she shifts to close the distance between them, ensuring that her arm rests against his and her leg likewise touches his.

He raises his hand slightly in silent offering; without hesitation, she twines her fingers through his.

“Aymeric,” she says, so softly it’s almost a whisper, “what do you think happens now that the Final Days are over? No more Ascians, no more Garlean expansionism, no more Hydaelyn and Zodiark…”

“Years of rebuilding, to start with. No nation was spared the destruction the blasphemies and towers wrought—in every corner of the world, entire communities were wiped out, the population slaughtered or turned, to say nothing of the state of Garlemald. We must needs—”

O’ravi laughs. “No, no, no, I meant: duty and the wider world be damned, what do you want for your future?”

Ah.

He blinks stupidly, trying to cobble together an answer. “I’ve not put much thought into it, to tell you the truth.”

In truth, that is a flat-out lie. Of course he’s thought about it. But what he wants, what he longs for above all else—he cannot ask that of her. What if the request hurts her? And, perhaps it’s selfish, but what if her answer hurts him? Their friendship is too important to take the risk. No, he will hold his tongue.

“You don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” she says, and while her smile is tender there’s a knowing look in her eye that he can’t withstand. “Just think about it for a while.”

He never has been good at lying to her. His one consolation is that she’s just as bad at lying to him.

“What of you? The world is yours now, your life is your own again. What will you do with it?”

“Well.” She straightens her spine, ears twitching excitedly, and her smile takes on a mischievous edge. “After all I’ve done, I have more than earned the right to live as I see fit. I’ve earned the right to put duty and responsibility and reputation aside—and I know someone else who has earned the same.”

“We do owe much to your fellow Scions and Warriors of Light.”

“No, Aymeric, I mean you.” She takes his other hand in her own and squeezes. “The future is ours now. Ours to shape, ours to live. After all we’ve bled and suffered and sacrificed, we need to do something for ourselves. Just this much at least.” She leans towards him, and he has no choice but to meet her gaze. “You give and you give and you give of yourself until you have nothing left. The world takes and it never gives back, and before you know it you’ve lost yourself. I know this is happening to you because it happened to me, too. You have to draw a line in the sand somewhere and say, this is mine, this belongs to me, and the world can’t touch it. Aymeric, may I tell you what I want for the future?”

The light is glinting off the gold veins that mar her eyes. Her sincerity is painful to behold.

“Of course.”

“I want you to find yourself again. I want to find me again…and I want us to do it together. I want us to walk into the future together, hand in hand, side by side. Whatever paths we walk going forward, I want us to walk them together until the end of our days.”

“I…”

By the Fury, how is he supposed to answer that? How is he meant to—?

His heart is racing, and she’s watching him with such an innocence, a kindness that’s driving him mad.

Her wish answers the question he couldn’t voice. Yet it still leaves some things up in the air, namely: will they continue to keep a distance between them? Pretend Ala Mhigo never happened and remain friends and naught more?

A deeply foolish thought—he knows what the answer to that is, even if he won’t admit it—but nonetheless…

O’ravi raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “What say you, my brilliant blue knight?” His thoughts are spinning too rapidly to be trusted now, so despite the fact he’ll likely regret it later, he follows the impulse of his heart and kisses the scar that cuts across the bridge of her nose. Let that be answer enough.

#i slammed this out in one night so it is nowhere near as polished as what i usually post #if i allowed myself to edit it it would never get posted SO #no editing we die like dragoons using elusive jump during the titan boss fight #well i mean. i'll probably edit it tomorrow afternoon but. for now we're not playing that game GKJHDFLGKJ #don't judge me don't look at me it's 3am and this held me hostage even as my brain's ability to words sputtered out T^T #we are NOT main tagging this it is TOO SILLY #i might be cringe but i am freeeeeee baybee #i will probably rewrite the end later but for now it is good enough #i decided not to let the perfectionism win and prevent me from writing + posting this so if it's messy that would be why lmao #i will fix it later for now we are floating in the goofy pool and crying into our hands !!! #o'ravi soltholia #rogue writes #o'ravmeric #OKAY BYE IM GONNA SLEEP NOW BEFORE THE ANXIETY CAN CATCH ME 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ #endwalker spoilers #really really vaguely??? idk but just to be safe #HELPPPPP #is this even coherent? idk but i had fun writing it. that's the important part #and considering the migraines and pain and brain fog I've been in lately im amazed i was able to write at all #so. even if this sucks i created something so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED #thank u for the asks besties 💕 it really did help clear the brain fog a lil #also for the record this is my first time writing shippy stuff that isn't pre relationship or It's Complicated so. yay!!!!! #the only other shippy stuff ive written was shepard and kaidan angsting about shepard's death so this is new territory for me 😂

[archiveofyearning]

.

#i just think that....sometimes woke white people are worse #i know everyone is genuine and well meaning etc etc and i admire and respect that but #i'm just so tired of these people at work who put themselves up on these high pedestals of wokeness and reward themselves for it #as if they're changing the world by making these grand choices #when POC have just ALWAYS seen it as their responsibility #and have continued to do it without any expectation to be rewarded #and have often faced significant backlash for doing it instead of being rewarded #idk i am just tired of feeling like nothing i ever do at work will ever be enough to make a difference. and constantly doubting myself #and meanwhile you have all these white people celebrating themselves for doing the absolute bare minimum #its just too much and too hard to work on these issues that are affecting real people every day #and idk what i'm doing or if it will ever be enough and i just want to quit and cry #and i'm tired of always having to minimise myself or not speak out too much or not be too controversial #bc then i'm always perceived as judging everyone too hard or always going against the status quo #and its like!!!! isn't that what we're MEANT to be doing!!!!

[celestial-sapphicss]

.

#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok) #and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk #and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling? #like one id have good relationships with uk??? #and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it? #anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit? #be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time #and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly #but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone????? #like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it #and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right? #and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty??? #at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf #idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense? #ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead #and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources #it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!??? #yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do #vi.txt

[piplupod]

i think i am possibly the most relaxed and content that i have been in almost a year and its so nice

not having to feel like anyone is around to be angry at me or judge me and just being able to let my guard down even if only for a couple days is so so so nice. my sister will be home from work in three hours but until then i am alone and free and i could almost cry from how okay i feel for the first time in almost a year :')

#sitting on couch upstairs for the first time since parents last were away #and the dishwasher is running so I'll have clean dishes again #and its a rly comforting noise tbh #and the cars going by on the street in the rain makes a nice noise too #and the clock ticking !!! all very good comforting noises that remind me of napping on the couch while parents were away as a kid #and just feeling like i am safe for once #and i can put on whatever i want without feeling like im about to be yelled at or judged or called names fjfkdl #i can put jerma on the big tv !!! i can watch things on a tv in general !!! its so nice #trying hard not to think abt how i wish it could always be like this bc then i WILL cry for sure fhfkfl #but damn. i understand how ppl are able to live now fjfkdl they just feel this free all the time !!! its so wonderful #im so glad i get to have this even if only for a couple days fhfkdl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[the-acid-pear]

I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.

#luly talks #not gonna put this one on main tag bc its a bit too vague and speculative and shit but im leaving rbs on in case some1 is like hm ur into #something here nemo im which case i will wag my tail and bat my eyelashes #but am i making sense anyway? #like just to make sure: my idea of mike is a camera man younger and smaller than Spamton who admired the guy #and spamton out of idk fondness bc he reminded him of his old self kinda took the guy under his wing in a way #that's why he's so protective and shit #although unrelated to this bc just. putting that there and NOT touching it but it's interesting what Spammy says right after name dropping #mike if you believe in the cameraman interpretation (which i saw in a video i then stopped watching bc i wanted to explore that shit myself) #bc he right after says to not believe anything you see on tv but this could easily imply mike did do his part but the editing team changed #shit. but its just very curious what involvement Mike could've had because. why would he be as targeted as he appears to be? #and what caused him to also abandone spamton? is mike even fucking alive? judging by Spammy's q&a dialogue you'd assume he is #but i mean that's official but not canon right so it's a bit hard to judge? #but Mike seems to be the only one he isn't really resentful towards for leaving him almost implying it wasn't Mike's choice? #i just can't wait to see more of this bc it's gonna reveal a whole side to this little puppet previously unknown #in fact i think that after breathing some air im gonna go look at the snowgrave neo fight flavor text and cry and piss and etc #I'm still not over spamton begs the audience to stop taking the furniture i can see the poor guy being evicted as he tries to plead not to #so vividly wugh. my poor little guy of questionable morals . . . 😢 #also don't get me started on the commemorative ring man what on earth is going on there.........

[lucysweatslove]

You would think as a person who recovered from an ED I would learn NOT to weigh myself, like, ever, but of course I keep doing it because curiosity and it only causes distress.

#tw for the tags since it talks about weight #and tw for calories too #mainly because like this should be the lowest point for cycle and hormonal based weight #but somehow I’m up 1.2 lbs from last week #logical me is like yes you had a high salt day yesterday #but then I see the scales BIA basically pegged it all as fat gain #and then I see the whole plot since I’ve had the scale and it says my water weight % hasn’t changed in a range of 20 lbs #I’m trying a little bit to just feel better and wear clothes I feel comfortable in and stuff before school #I thought yeah if I work at it I can be down a little before rural clinic and more before white coat ceremony #but instead compared to 4 weeks ago I’m not even down a pound #I actually did try meticulous counting and weighing for the last two weeks #granted I still refuse to say no to social foods that I can’t be so meticulous about #but I really struggle to see how at my lean mass with how I’ve been eating vast majority of the time HOW even a day could mess it up #like when I’m eating ~1450 calories a day in average with 100g protein how is my weight not changing #especially when I’m lifting 2-4 hours a week and doing cardio for 2-3 hours too #keep in mind I am large rn and I do have decent lean body mass #like if I were to drop to 20% body fat but keep all my lean mass I would still be classified as overweight #so yeah it’s just frustrating #its not so much that I can’t accept my body as it is but that I know I’m being constantly judged on it and I don’t want to deal with that #anyway gonna go cry and consider making breakfast but bring too frustrated to actually cook

[danothan]

damn i thought i was above the warnings ppl gave me abt the boys, and tbh i didn’t have that intense of a reaction as i was watching it, but here i am trying to go to sleep, reliving that upsetting scene every time i close my eyes

#danbles #the boys #i didn’t cry watching it but well here i am #i understand the purpose of including that scene and it’s rly not even the most graphic thing they’ve done #but i also don’t wanna share what it is exactly bc hell i would judge me too #of all the things in this show to mess with me it had to be abt a unanimously unlikeable character #SIGH. maybe i need a break from it before continuing to s2 #just to see if there are any other things my slow reaction time needs to catch up with

[sharlmbracta]

i want to caress his ✨butt✨

#don't judge me #you can laugh at me yeah that's fine i'll laugh too but anything else will get you ripped to fucking shreds #i am extremely high on fic and blendering right now and i WILL make you cry #these posts are for when i forget and become melancholy again #these will help me remember very specifically how i have felt #these are for me. these are solely for me. #and no one will ever get to ruin that 😌💖

[abyssalhuntersnerd]

Sometimes I think about the fact "A Hunter's Waltz" talks about how much Skadi and Specter want to dance and have fun like they did that night and I tear up because they got to do exactly that in Spalter's OR and I don't know what to do other than bawl my eyes out.

#normal posts #they probably went to a ball together after SN and you can't change my mind about it #I just #coincidences are a funny thing good god #I cry #they deserve to be happy #they really do #am I gonna cry about this at 4am? yes #yes I am don't judge me I have issues and I know I'm a nerd #well I am the AH nerd but you get it I'm fucking weird and too invested #shsjdhdidhdj

[tardis--dreams]

So tomorrow i have to/should

- give presentation (obligatory; fixed time)

- talk to my professor (!!!) (After class; rip)

- study korean (!); write dialogue for oral exam

- work on thesis (finish theory; start transcribing data)

- clean apartment (!) + do laundry

- exercise

#making to do lists is fun #doing them is impossible lol #the worst thing is really the talking to my professor part #but i have to so I'll just have to hope he won't be too [mad/judgmental??] upon learning i still haven't gotten anywhere #(he probably doesn't care but i personally am mad at myself and i judge myself Hard. so it'd be fair if he does too) #and the rest is just ahhh #how do i fit all of that in one day #like i know it's Nothing compared to other people's schedules and I'm already not working at all #so i should be fine #but it's so overwhelming I'm gonna cry lmao #also that presentation will be fun ahahah #i die #but yeah #exercise #actual exercise would be Great! (like hiit or kickboxing or something like really intense #i save myself with pilates and yoga and low intensity stuff these days but i want to Feel the rush of high intensity training again #I'm too lethargic for my own good so i keep avoiding the hard stuff but i actually Want it #(let's see if that holds true tomorrow night when i haven't slept in 36 hours again ahaha) #shut up amy #kill me #life is not for me

[im-no-jedi]

me: you’re already bringing too many things with you on vaca this year, you don’t need any more

also me:

#I’m having a CRISIS y’all #bringing my Hunter doll and Mission Fleet TBB isn’t enough I NEED THEM TOO #I see them on my bedside table every morning when I wake up #and before I go to bed every night #how am I supposed to go a whole week without them 🥺 #shoutout to Tech judging me off to the side ROFL #he’s fine with not going #plus I’m bringing the little one with me #I just… I need my bae and my baby ok #I’ll literally cry if I have to leave them 💔 #🥺🥺🥺 #my dark and broody bandana man #my tiny sunshine daughter #star warz