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#i always get so fucking anxious about every simple little thing
washeduphazbin · 1 month
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Adam NSFW Alphabet
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Here ya go, ya filthy simps.
First time doing a nsfw alphabet so if it’s … bad I’m sorry. Lmk how to improve tho
--Minors DNI--
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
At the beginning of the relationship, I don't think this man knew what aftercare was; I mean, there's a reason Lilith left him. Let's be honest. It would take a learning curve and a lot of explaining from you about your needs after sex until he'd realize how important it really was.
Once he got the idea down, he'd be religious with it every time after sex, he'd ask, "What the fuck you needed to feel extra sexy."
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
What isn't his favorite body part? Toss up between Boobs, Ass, and Thighs, he loves them all. If you held a gun to his head, he'd say your boobs, big or small, he would NOT CARE. He wants them in his mouth.
Small boobie queens, he'd squeeze them like little stress balls when he's annoyed or anxious.
Big boobie queens, pillows. Need I say more. Calls them bazoingas unironically.
Type of guy to stand next to you talking to Lute and reach out and just squeeze your tits, letting out a HONK. Lute would roll her eyes with a snicker as you flushed, while Adam would look at you with the biggest shit-eating grin.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
This guy's cum is thick. milky and warm.
Beads at the tip when you turn him on and likes to cum deep inside you, filling you entirely or on your tits or ass.
Will stare hotly as both your cum spills out of you, as you whimper and whine, usually making him ready for round two.
When you suck him off, he enjoys watching it spill from your lips instead of you swallowing.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Adam has one main secret (idk if it qualifies as dirty) but enjoys genuine praise for things he feels proud of accomplishing. It's not like you praising him for exterminating sinners; it's just simple, innocent praise when he does something particularly sweet for you.
A big softie, but only in private and only to you.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He's a fuckboy. Sorry, not sorry, he just is. HOWEVER, it doesn't mean he is a star at sex. He's decent at first, but there's a reason Lucifer stole two of his wives. His biggest gripe was he didn't want to reciprocate head, but you broke him off that relatively quick when you squeezed your thighs around his skull for the first time, practically double-killing him.
It was fuckin' hot.
You both have a lot to learn, but you learn together, and the sex is still angelic.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He has two:
He enjoys cowboy/girl because he's lazy and likes to watch your tits bounce in front of his face.
He also enjoys doggy style, so he can see your ass bounce as he pounds into you, biting your ass cheeks as he goes and slapping.
G = Goofy (are they more severe in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Goofy. He does not shut his mouth; he always has something to say as he's getting intimate with you. It's safe to say he never stops talking, which means he's very vocal about moans, whines, and grunts. It's safe to say he has no filter regarding you.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Pretty basic, but the carpet matches the drapes. However, he could be better- groomed. It's safe to say he's definitely hairy, not just there but all over.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
Although Adam is definitely more goofy, as discussed earlier, I think sex is intimate and essential to him. While he can be silly, he works his ass and dick off to make sure it's the best sex you've ever had. Oddly enough, when he's alone with you and in a soft mood, he always romantically initiates sex.
Slow and sensual kisses lead to heated make-outs and biting before turning into more.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
I think Adam is on the more hypersexual side of the spectrum if you see sex as a spectrum like I tend to. So, if you're not around for some reason, he will probably be cranking one out sometimes more than once a day. Honestly, even if you are around and you're not feeling sex at the moment, he'll pout, but ultimately, go watch whatever heavens' equivalent to porn.
(or videos he's recorded of the two of you ;) )
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
I think Adam would have three main kinks:
Breeding - "All of humanity came from this dick."
Mommy Kink - need I explain more? Dominant women are such a significant turn-on for him; one look when you're in Dommy Mommy mode, and he's on his knees.
Role-Play- If you don't think he'd make you cosplay and act like Sinner who is trying to redeem themselves just for him to role play fucking redemption into you, your opinion is just incorrect. Sorry.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere and Everywhere. He doesn't care; if people see good let them know you're both hot as fuck. They're probably green with envy.
His favorite place, though, is on his desk in his office. The thrill of getting caught lights a fire in him that can't be snuffed out without burying himself in your cunt.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
I feel like we discussed this one a lot, but I can add a few more. When you're mad at something Hell did or another resident of Heaven. Also, when defending him, think of the "He asked for no pickles" meme, but it's you asking for Adam.
Oh, and of course, you are in any type of lingerie, punk rock, or revealing clothing.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Piss, Poop, ya know the classics. He'd also never want to seriously hurt you, maybe a light slap here and there, maybe a little choking, but if he ever hurts you in the act, he's flaccid so quick and on you like a mother hen.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
As stated earlier, his preference is receiving; he loves the way you look between his thighs and his thick cock in your mouth. Drool and pre-cum leaking from your lips.
But he has gotten more open to giving and isn't...great, but you're teaching him how to work his tongue and fingers.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He sets a fast and rough pace, hits you deep in your canal, and kisses your cervix, almost like he's trying to hit your womb. He's a feral beast honestly once he starts fucking you and it'd take an act of God to get him to stop.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
All the time though not super preferred, He likes to tease you as much as he can before letting you cum, but most of the time you have sex, it's out of the house. It's a constant struggle to keep your hands off one another and, more often than not, sneak off for a quick fuck somewhere before rejoining a meeting, hangout or if Adam needs immediate stress relief.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
So long as it's not on his list of hard no's, I feel like Adam will try anything once if you ask. He's for sure a risk taker and wants you to challenge him with something new, but in the end prefers classic sex.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He can last only two rounds, but they usually last. A very long time because he likes to be a little shit.
T = Toys (do they own toys or use them on a partner or themselves?)
He does not own toys, and if you have them and use them, you will absolutely be jealous of them and attempt to make you trash them. But if you say no, he'll respect it. Just be extremely salty.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh, he's a brat. It is so unfair that it will test you pretty much through the entire process. He enjoys seeing how much he can overstimulate and edge you before he finally fucks you raw.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
So fucking loud. God bless your neighbors if you have any. His groans and moans could shake the entire house, and your whines, whimpers, and pleas for 'harder' aren't any better.
He also laughs a lot.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I think he loves to mark you up to prove to everyone that you are his and his alone. I think it would start with a shit ton of hickies, then a joke from Lute saying he should just collar you until he actually does. It's classy and elegant, matches his angelic robes, and has spikes.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
So I absolutely headcanon him with a dad bod (sorry, not sorry); I think he also has significant arm and chest hair and a particularly drool-worthy happy trail. He's squishy and you love it even though he can be a little insecure about it at times, you just tell him you love him no matter his shape or size.
He is your Teddy Bear.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
HYPERSEXUAL. HIGH. THIS MAN WANTS SOME FUCK.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Passes out quickly afterward and can't go more than two rounds max. Likes to sleep right after but has learned to check on you first before passing out on your tits or chest.
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teamatsumu · 2 months
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how about soft! dom xav (& rafayel if u want/can) with a shy, nervous reader?
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warnings: fem!reader, smut, nsfw, swearing, soft!dom xavier and rafayel
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XAVIER:
I firmly believe that Xavier is a soft dom more than anything else.
He is often unexpressive, withdrawn, and so it can be hard to tell what he is thinking or feeling. But this does not apply to you.
Xavier knows you are shy, and often get anxious. So he tries his best to communicate with you even if it is tough for him.
In bed, he can almost feel your apprehension. It hides in your tense muscles, every fiber taut and strained. He can sense your uncertainty, unsure of what to do, so he takes the lead.
He will maneuver you into a position he knows you would both enjoy, pinning you in place and making sure you are stimulated enough that all the worries dissipate from your mind until it is nothing but mush, focused only on how good his cock feels, the electricity shooting up your spine from how his thumb works your clit.
His lips are pressed close to the shell of your ear, and though he is not big on words, his moans of your name are answer enough.
“So good. You’re so good, darling.”
It’s simple words, but coming from him, they light a fire in you. They make you arch your back up to him, and Xavier hums in approval. He hooks his hands under your knees and pulls them up to your chest into a fucking mating press, until the angle has you creaming around his rapidly pounding cock.
And he will moan in tandem with you, almost as if deriving his pleasure from yours, and when he is close to finishing, he huffs in your ear about how he’s going to fill your pussy up and how you’re going to take it. Not a request, an order, and you comply enthusiastically.
Aftercare is detailed and delicate, with him running his hands over every joint he bent harshly, making sure he soothed your aches. Best believe he will run a bath for both of you to relax in as well.
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RAFAYEL:
Let's establish one thing about Rafayel; he is a yapper.
He talks, and talks, and talks, and that includes bedroom activities.
During your first time, he can tell just how nervous you are, so his way of reassurance is with his words.
He’s always teasing, always sassy, but it dims when he sees your apprehension, and it is replaced with sweet encouragement, telling you just how much he loves you, or how pretty you are, or how he’s going to take good care of you.
He guides you through it, hoping that vocalizing will help you become more comfortable.
“Lay back for me baby, just like that. You look so pretty like this.”
As things start getting hotter and heavier, best believe the talking will get filthier. And his voice will get more and more broken.
“Such a pretty little pussy. Can’t believe you were hiding this from me all this time. My cock could’ve been buried in you a lot earlier if I knew.”
He guides you with gentle but firm hands into positions he knows will hit all the right angles, and while his cock has you mewling and squirming under him, his teeth nip at your jaw and neck, leaving tiny marks like he’s marking his property.
“Need everyone to know who you belong to, sweetheart. Nobody else is gonna fuck this little cunt. Only me.”
And it’s this dirty tongue and furiously pounding cock that pulls orgasm after orgasm out of you, cooing and crooning about how sexy you look and how he wants to immortalize you in a painting forever.
Aftercare is more lighthearted. Rafayel is back to his teasing, whiny self. He makes quips about how you moaned so good for him until you groan in embarrassment and try to push him away. He is undeterred though, he has ammunition to banter back and forth with you. Also, he made you cum so many times that you couldn’t even count. This man’s ego isn’t coming down to Earth anytime soon.
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ricco4 · 2 years
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😞
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goldenlikedayl1ght · 1 month
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enter sandman - m. murdock
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a/n: see me personally? never seeing the pearly gates. never ever. not after this one . enjoy. feedback always appreciated ! <3 warnings: guys... where do i fucking start. SMUT. SMUT!!!! GRAPHIC PORN!!!! no plot!!!! degradation!!! dumbification!!!! praise!!!! oral!!! (m recieving) cursing!!!! nicknames!!!! reader is female and has female parts and she/her pronouns!!!!! matt is cocky, mean!dom!matt, the ending is kind of cute, lots of inappropriate use of matts senses, uhhh guys let me know if i missed any because... wow. word count: 4.2k summary: you have a hard time sleeping. the devil has a few games in mind to tire you out. pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader now playing: enter sandman - metallica "exit light/enter night/take my hand/we're off to never-never land"
You have a horrible habit. Okay, you wouldn’t really consider it to be a habit per say, but you’re not proud of it. You will for it to end.
You can never seem to fall asleep. Staying asleep is easy, but getting there is a problem. Your mind is always racing, which causes you to spiral into a whirlpool of anxieties. You’re too busy thinking about your job, or what you’ll eat tomorrow, or when you’ll be doing your next load of laundry.
But most of all, what keeps you up at night is worrying about the devil. And not in the sense that you’re a holy catholic who wants to repent for her sins, either. Your worry for the devil comes because you’re hopelessly in love with him.
And you worry that one day he will come home damaged beyond repair. Maybe one day he will not come home at all, and you’ll have to hear about it on the news the next morning. It’s a hellish existence, loving the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, but you make do.
Like tonight—You had baked brownies earlier in the night, and then read your book for the better part of the night. You won’t allow yourself to fall asleep because the possibility of seeing him overwhelms you. But as the hours pass, you begin to lose hope.
And just as you you’re beginning to accept that he won’t be coming to see you and you’re really letting yourself drift, you feel a warm hand on your neck. He’s taken his gloves off tonight. You consider yourself blessed.
“Hi,” You mumble softly, your brain going all fuzzy with even just that bit of contact. You’ve missed him. “Was beginning to think you’d never show.”
But your devil is in no mood for simple pleasantries tonight.
“What have I told you about waiting up for me?”
“Not to?”
“I said,” His hand moves from its gentle place against your neck to grip your chin, “As long as you leave the window open I’ll know to just come in and take what I need.”
Your face flushes, and he grins, because he can tell that he’s making you flustered.
“Stop laughing at me.”
“No one’s laughing at you, sweetheart.” He hums.
“You are.” He shrugs gently. He’s wearing his black suit tonight, and it’s making you feel… a lot of things.
��What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Damn him.
“Nothing!”
He leans forward and kisses you softly, and you lean up to try and kiss him further, but he pulls away, his grip returning to your chin, to keep you just centimeters away. The devil is an expert at reading you, despite his lack of sight. He has developed the habit of studying you, and knows that as of late, you’re not allowing yourself the pleasure of sleeping. He knows it’s because you’re so anxious and worried about every little thing, so tonight.. He intends to fix it. Or at least, maybe come up with a temporary solution.
“Liar.” He whispers and moves away further. “I’m not going to touch you until you tell me.”
Your devil is many things, but he does not bluff. He has this will of steel.
“I prefer it when you wear the black suit,” You tell him, “It’s not very protective, I know. But you look good in it.”
He makes a noise of realization, before moving his hand to slip under the hem of your shirt, resting his hand on your stomach. You shiver a bit, his hand warm against your skin. That’s what you get for wearing a tee shirt and shorts to bed every night, he’d tell you.
“That’s my smart girl.” Your heart flutters. “Mm, you really like that huh?”
“You’re awful.” You always pretend to hate how he reads you, but secretly, although you suspect he knows it, you love that someone knows you so well. He grins and his hands move again, this time picking you up into his arms and carrying you to the bedroom. “Hey! Not cool, we talked about picking up when we have no warning—” You cut yourself off with a grunt when he tosses you onto the bed.
“Shut up.”
He hears no objections.
Just as quickly as you’re thrown on the bed, he is above you, mask still on, kissing your neck.
“Wanna play a game, sweetheart?” He asks, hands on your hips, his fingers creeping up the hem of your shirt. You shiver again, and he just grins “You can answer.”
“Sure. I like games.” Your voice is meek, too busy enjoying all the contact with him. He hums softly.
“I know you do, and you’re just so good at them.” You grin against his skin as he kisses your cheek. “See that? That’s what I want to know.” You’re a bit lost.
“Know what?”
“I want to know what turns you on more— praising you or degrading you.”
What a fun game to play with a human lie detector.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, let’s play.” You confirm. He kisses you quickly.
“Good girl.” You hum softly, but it isn’t quite what he’s looking for. It’s good, don’t get him wrong, but he’s after more. “Tell me about your day, baby.” He continues to plant kisses along your skin. You know this isn’t a request but rather a requirement of the game.
“Well, I had work today, then I had to stop at the grocery store. I made dinner and—” You’re cut off by a kiss to a sensitive spot on your neck, because you can’t help but let out a gasp of pleasure.
“What? A few kisses and you’re already turning dumb for me?” You shudder softly, your heartbeat steadily increasing. The deep cadence of his voice paired with his words make you want to just melt. “Oh, there she is..”
He lets go of your arms for just a moment to slip your shirt off.  Then, your hands are back above your head, held down by his grip. He moves on from your neck and begins to kiss down.
“I like this game.” You manage out, and he chuckles.
“I know you do. You know how?”
You think about it for a moment before you answer. You want to be right.
“You can hear my heartbeat?”
“And I can smell you. You like this a lot. More than you like me?” He continues to kiss down your torso.
You don’t answer for a second. He bites your skin gently, prompting you to answer.
“No.” You answer, “No, I don’t like anything.. anyone more than you.”
He kisses the spot where he bit softly.
“Even smart girls need to be reminded sometimes.” Is all he says before he continues to kiss you. You try to hide it, try to hide your reaction to the words, but he grins against your skin.
“Matt..” you groan out softly because his kisses have stopped.
“What?”
“Why’d you stop?” You whined.
“You’re my smart girl, why don’t you tell me?” You pause, biting your lip. “Is it because you can’t? Do you like being dumb for me, smart girl?” You want to defend yourself, but he bites your skin again.
“Yes!” you respond, and he does the same thing he did before—He kisses where he bit.
“Good girl.” He responds. “I like making you dumb just from a few kisses anyways.” He tells you, finally reaching your stomach with his kisses. “I love my dumb little smart girl.” The cadence he has to his voice makes you whine again. He knows every part of you, even the parts you never wanted to tell him about. He’s just too observant. “I love that despite how well behaved and good you are, you’re dumb enough to be talked down to like this, by some strange man who just crawled through your window.”
You answer before you can think about it. You’re smart enough to know that he’s at least half right.
“You’re not just anyone, you’re my Matt.”
“Your Matt?” He hums. “Your Matt, My ditzy smart girl.” He grins, before placing one last kiss right above the waistline of your shorts.
He moves so he can kiss your lips again, kissing you quick before pulling off his mask so you can see his face. He has a cut on his forehead and a bruise forming on his cheek. It’s clear he had a good night though, or else this wouldn’t be happening.
“Your face..” You frown, concern in your voice.
“Observant and smart?” He teases, kissing your forehead. “What happened to wanting to be dumb for me?”
You’re almost embarrassed of it now.
“You’re being mean.” You say quietly.
“Mean? Me? To my best girl?” He kisses you quickly again. “Never.” He hums. One of his hands goes down to your thigh, his fingertips inching up.
“Never.” You echo.
“What do you say, smart girl?” He asks, “Wanna play a few more games? See just how desperate I can make you?”
You huff at his words, your brain short circuiting to the point where you speak before you can really think.
“I just want you to fuck me!”
He stops just as he’s about to pull off your shorts and slithers back up so the pair of you are face to face.
“First of all,” he places a kiss to your lips gently, “You are not in a position to be making demands, pretty girl. Second,” He kisses you again, “Such a foul mouth for such a dumb baby,” You let off a soft whine, and he has the audacity to mock your whine, “I know, it’s not much of a lecture when you like when I talk to you like this,” He hums. “And third, I know you’re smarter than to be a brat.” He says gently, kissing you again.
“I’m not a brat.” You whine, and again, he mocks you before devolving into a deep chuckle, leaning in to kiss you.
“I love you.” He says, with a grin on his face.
He’s gentle with you for a few moments, softer. You decide that now is your chance, and if you don’t act now, you’ll spend the rest of your night under his thumb. So, you flip over and have him under you, as you sit on his lower stomach. His hands come up to the back of your thighs.
“I’ve got you now, Devil.” You grin, leaning in to kiss him. But before you can, he’s flipping you back over, keeping you pinned by your legs.
“Brat.” he accuses, leaning in to kiss you again. You huff. “Easy, pretty girl, your attitude is getting the best of you.”
You frown and turn your head when he goes to kiss you.
“Tell me I’m not a brat and I’ll kiss you.” You demand, and he grins, but this time it isn’t soft. It’s almost wicked. He grabs your chin roughly and tilts your head towards him, before kissing you roughly.
“What did I tell you?” he asks. “Come on, smart girl, I know you remember.”
“That I was in no position to make demands?”
“That’s right.” He coos, “Now, baby, do you want to hear what I had planned for you tonight?”
You must admit, you’re very curious.
“Sure, Matty.” His grin widens.
“Well, I was planning on playing this little game with you, then eating you out until your thighs are shaking,” You let out a whine, but he just shushes you softly, “Sh, sh, sh… You wanted to hear, so listen.” He hums. “Then, I was going to fuck you until you were full of my cum.” He tells you.
Then, he lets out a disappointed sigh.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“That was what I was planning on, but because you decided to be a brat, I have a new plan.”
“I liked that plan so much though..”
“I know, Sweetheart, me too.. But you’re the one who ruined it.” He reminded, leaning in, and biting your jaw between his fingers. His hand positioning is not exactly choking, but the grip is tight enough to leave marks. He feels you grind your hips up a bit, and chuckles again. “Smart girl, already figuring out what’s next.”
You tilt your head in confusion, but before you know it, he’s repositioning you so you’re in his lap at the edge of the bed. He pats your thigh gently.
“Get up for me, Honey. Then you got to take your shorts off for me.” You do as you’re told, no longer interested in fucking up his plans. Then, he pulls you back onto his lap, and he hums gently. You decide to take a risk and bring your hands up to his jaw, and then up towards his mask.
“Please?” You ask gently. “Wanna see you..” He nods softly, letting you pull off his mask, as his head tilts to the side to kiss your palm.
“You remember who’s in charge, right, sweetheart?”
“You, devil.”
“That’s right, angel.” He praises, “And that’s why you’re going to ride my thigh.” You let out a soft whine, and he shakes his head, “No, no whining from you, sweet girl. You wanted to be a brat, so you gotta reap what you sew.”
He holds your hips as you begin to grind against his thigh, and Matt focuses on the way your breathing hitches as you rub against his thigh. Your hands grip his shoulders as he begins to kiss your neck again.
Your skin burns with need, and your hips roll faster as your breath speeds up, and slowly, minute by minute, you’re edging closer to your release. But he knows you’re close to coming undone not only because of how your skin is hot, and your breath is airy, but because you’re making such a mess.
You’re definitely staining his pant leg with your wetness, because after his insatiable teasing, you’re just desperate for him, and oh so sensitive. The speed of your grinding increases, and then, because he wants to see you break, he starts to bounce his leg up so that in addition to your grinding, it’s overwhelming you.
“Matt,” you say, breathlessly. “Matt, please..”
“Please what, smart girl? What do you want?” He’s really going to make you ask for it. This is all part of his game.
“Please..” You start, resting your head on his shoulder. “Please, can I come?”
“What was that, baby? I didn’t hear you.”
Oh, now he’s being a fucking dick. You know he can hear you, with his damned super senses. Nonetheless, you pick your head up and manage to get it out.
“Please let me come,” You beg, and he laughs.
“You know what’s funny, baby?” You let out a whine. “You’re so smart, always holding the world on your shoulders, and yet.. A little bit of teasing and riding my thigh, and you can barely get a sentence out.. You’re being so good for me, baby. So good at following orders,” He bites your neck. “So, go ahead and come for me, sweet girl.”
As soon as those words leave his lips, you’re letting go, the tight knot in your stomach finally snapping. You moan into his ear, his hands on your side to keep you stable as you come undone. He keeps bouncing his leg to have you ride out your high as your legs begin to shake. You’re making all of these pretty noises for him, and the smell of your juices are overwhelming for him.
“Such a good girl for me,” he hums, kissing you softly. He’s back to being rather gentle with you. But his cock is incredibly hard against his pants, and he needs to feel you clench around him. “Can my pretty baby ride my cock?” You’re shaking but you nod gently.
He knows you’re verging on the edge of being unable to do much else, but he wants to see how far he can push you. So, he pats your leg again and you stand up. His hands come up to undo your bra and pull off your panties.
He holds them in his hands for a moment, breathing in deeply as your scent continues to overwhelm him. He wastes no more time, pulling off his shirt and then starting to unbuckle his black pants. On instinct, you’re on your knees, with this.. primal desire to suck him off.
He takes a deep breath, his hand going to your hair and pushing your hair from your face. You lean into his touch, smiling softly up at him. He knows how much you like just thoughtless sex—You value long, intimate nights too, but after a long week, you need to shut off your brain and he needs to take control.
“Wanna suck my cock first, baby? You’re so good for me..” He says softly, slipping down his boxers.
“Just wanna be good for you,” You hum, eying his glistening hardness. You can’t deny that he looks truly crafted by the hands of God—Most of his body is glistening with sweat, cock glistening with precum. He is heavenly and the only thing you’ll ever want to worship.
“You’re so good for me. My dumb little smart girl.” The name form earlier makes you weak, as you lean in and begin to lick his tip. His hand grips your hair as he inhales sharply. “Careful, sweetheart.” He tells you, beginning to guide you in sucking him dry.
His hand guides you as your head bobs against his cock, the taste of him turning your brain further into mush. He makes sure to guide you at a steady pace, moaning out praise, and occasionally degradation.
“So fucking good for me,” He gasps out, “My good little girl.. Sucking my cock so good—Ah, fuck..” He gasps as you quicken your pace. “Sucking me like the little slut you are..” You moan against cock at that, and he gasps, before it devolves into a low chuckle. “And you like it, too.. Being called my little slut.. Good little slut, just for me.. Got you trained so well..” He holds on for a few more moments before he comes into your mouth, panting softly.
His cum dribbles down your chin as you swallow most of it, so his hand comes up to your chin to gently wipe the dribble off before he slips his thumb into your mouth.
“Every last drop for me, angel.” He requests. You happily suck on his thumb for a few moments while he recovers. Then, he leans down and picks you up, resting you on the bed again. “Now you’re gonna ride me, right, pretty?”
“Mhm..” You smile, and as soon as he lays back on the bed, you’re on top of him. His cock slides against your folds and you whine a bit, just desperate for the feeling of him filling you up. “You know how badly I want your cock..” He grins at this.
“You have it, angel. Just gotta ride me, okay?” You hum in response. You slowly lower yourself down onto his cock, taking a few minutes to adjust to the size of him. But your slow pace is not quick enough for Matt, whose hands find your hips (for the millionth time tonight) and quickly slides his entire length into you.
You moan loudly, a feeling of pain and pleasure blurring together as he hits just the right spot to make you see stars.
“Matt, fuck,” You whine, wanting to take a second to catch your breath.
“Color?” It’s a safe word system—He knows he might have taken it a tad too far, pushing into you like that.
“Green,” You promise.
“Okay, good.” He leans up and kisses your forehead gently, a sign of the gentleness that resides in his demeanor despite just how into his dominate behavior you are. He begins to roll his hips, and revels in the sound of the pretty screams coming out of your mouth as he begins to pound into you. “I’ve got you fucked dumb, baby? Can’t even ride my cock properly?” He asks, pulling you in to kiss your skin.
“No,” You protest, “I can do it,” It comes out whinier than you wanted it to—Much whinier, but you can’t deny that he’s wrong about that first part. Your brain is blurry in the best way. He hums in approval before gently pushing you away from his lips.
“Prove it, then.” He demands, and his hips are no longer bucking into you. Instead, you shakily begin to bounce against his cock, using his moans and gasps as guidance. His hands grip your thighs as you ride him. “There you go, angel. It’s not too much for you, right?” He hums.
“No!” You protest again, “No, Sir, I can take it,” He grins at the slip of the title. He swats the side of your thigh, rubbing it softly after you yelp, but it quickens your pace. His brain is beginning to fog too, so he knows he wants to get a few more comments out.
“Fucking liar,” he laughs, “Even when your.. fuck..” He gasps, the feeling of you clenching around him overwhelming him. “When you’re bouncing on my cock and moaning for me, you’re still lying..” His one hand travels to play with your clit, rubbing small circles into it. “So,” He takes a deep breath, leaning forward to rest his forehead on your shoulder, before picking his head back up. “I’ll ask you again.. Is it too much for you, my ditzy girl?”
Tears prick your eyes, as you will your brain to come up with a comprehensive answer.
“Yes!” You admit, “it’s too much,” You pant, but because you don’t say ‘red’ he keeps going.
“Aw, I know, honey,” He plants a soft kiss to your lips, the hand that isn’t rubbing circles into your clit coming up to brush sweaty hair from your face. “But you can take it. Come on, sweet thing, I know..” He hums. “Come for me, baby..”
And you do—You come hard, your vision going white for a fraction of a second as you let out these angelic noises. He doesn’t give a damn about noise complaints right now, all he can focus on is the smell of your sweat, your cum, and your pretty little noises.
You continue to rock your hips, wanting to feel his cum fill you up. And after a few more minutes, your wish comes true, as he grips your hip tightly with one hand as he comes deep inside you, as you roll your hips just a few more times, riding the last waves of a euphoric high.
His chest is heaving as you slump down against his chest. The pair of you are sweating, but he still looks so beautiful like this. His cock still fills you, his cum deep within you. His hand gently runs up and down your back,
“How’s my sweet girl doing..?” He’s afraid he went too far with you, hoping his words didn’t push you into a bad headspace. It’s happened before, where you just needed time to come back to reality. But tonight, you’re exhausted in a whole new way. You’re happy that you’ll actually be able to sleep.
“I’m good,” You promise. You’re sweaty, out of breath and completely fucked out of your mind.
He takes your jaw in his hand and tilts your head up so you’re looking in his general direction.
“You know I don’t really think you’re dumb, right?” He just needs to make sure.
“I know,” You giggle, “But it’s pretty hot in the moment. Besides, you took care of me.”
He grins and kisses your forehead.
“I’ll always take care of you.” He promises. You know he means it, too. Your Matty, always taking care of you. “You know you don’t need to worry about everything, right? You don’t have to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
“I know,” You start, “But you’re always so busy with the firm, and being Daredevil, and—” He hushes you softly.
“I am never too busy for you.” He says gently. “I know I can’t do your job for you, but I can be more careful and help with dinner, you know.” He just wants you to be less stressed all the time, the hypocrite.
“Okay.” You say gently. “Thank you, Matt.” He holds you close and places a soft kiss to your head.
“You’re still shaking,” He says gently, “But you need to shower.” He says softly, moving now so that he can carry you to your bathroom. You whine at the feeling of emptiness you’re left with when he slides out of you, and he just laughs. “I know, Baby, I know.”
Matt is just a general fan of taking care of you. Even when you’re fucked out of your mind like you are right now. You love that about him.
You love that the devil is so devoted to you. It stirs something deep inside you that you can’t quite voice. Matt knows it, too.
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chalametluvrz · 6 days
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jealousy looks good on you
steve harrington x afab!reader
tags gender neutral pronouns. dormmate!steve. cocky!steve. boarderline fuckboy!steve. jealous reader. stubborn reader. very subtle mentions of sex. mentions of arguments. reader is in denial about their feelings. steve is pretty smug. teasing. angsty if you could even count it as that. tbh there's not much to tag lol.
note the entire piece is completely gender neutral, i only tagged it as afab just incase i do a part 2 with smut <33 so lmk if u’d be down for a part 2!!!
wc 1.1k
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you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy living with steve; yeah, sure he was loud, he was annoying and you found yourself cleaning up after him on a regular basis, but he was a decent dormmate.
honestly, you were filled with anxiety when you first got told you'd be co-existing with steve-fucking-harrington for your first year of college. your entire high school career, he'd been the popular kid, extremely unaware of how he actually treated every other 'normal' person who just wanted to speed through their schooling years with good grades and then completely disappear from that shit-hole of a town.
but it turns out, he's not the super cool kid everyone jacked him up to be. if anything, he was a moron, a big clutz that could yap for hours on end if you let him.
but like i'd previously said; he was annoying. he was a pain in the ass a lot of the time. noisy at stupid hours in the morning. constantly distracting you when you're trying to study. loud conversations with whichever one-week girlfriend he had. always bickering with you over simple things like what's on the tv, whose chocolate is that in the fridge or how long each of you takes in the bathroom.
yet, amongst all that, there was still room in your heart to have a tiny little crush on him. which when you thought about it, was ridiculous, because you wouldn't even consider each other friends.
however, last night, you had a kind of big argument. it all started when you were trying to study and he was doing nothing but get on your nerves, purposefully trying to distract you all night, despite your constant pleading for him to stop because you had a big test coming up and you didn't want to fail.
somehow it led to him saying you were boring and stubborn, that all your studying is never going to guarantee you a ticket out of hawkin's after you graduate. and even after all that, he still managed to slip in that you have nothing going for you but your 'mediocre' intelligence and that's why you have never had many friends your entire life. which hurt. it hurt a lot.
big jerk, high school steve had suddenly made an appearance back in the room.
and to which, you responded by saying that it's not your fault he doesn't care about his academic achievements and that he'll be stuck in a dead-end job being a disappointment his entire life because all he cares about is getting his dick wet, and nothing else. which hurt him equally as much as he hurt you.
you hadn't spoken since, and just like steve had said; you're stubborn; so you didn't really plan to. thankfully, steve had early lessons today, whereas you had late ones so your paths had yet to meet. but you'd be lying if you said you weren't anxious about going back home after your 7pm lecture finished.
eventually that time arrived, and you were unlocking your front door, praying to whoever was up there in the clouds that steve was in his room so you could slip in and lock yourself away for the night.
little did you know, since he knew you were gonna have late lessons, he invited over a girl he'd been speaking to for.. what was it? literally less than a day.. to do 'certain' fun activities with. and steve thought this said girl would be able to slip out before you even arrived home, so you can imagine the shock on his face when he saw you standing in the doorway as he was kissing this girl goodbye.
you scoff a little at the sight. he was completely proving the point you made last night. he doesn't care about anything but getting his dick wet by every girl he speaks to.
"i.. um. i'll see you later, steve," the girl mumbled, hurrying out of the door because even an idiot could sense the tension between the both of you.
you roll your eyes a little before placing your bag and laptop on the kitchen island. not even speaking as you strolled past him.
"so what.. you're just not going to speak to me?" he asks, running one of his hands through his messy hair. and to that, you didn't respond. "y/n. seriously," steve continues, his voice showing a slight hint of aggression.
"yes, actually. i'm not going to speak to you," you reply bluntly, not even bothering to look up at him. you could feel some brewing in your stomach, like something was churning inside but you just didn't know what it was. all you knew was that it made you feel so anxious you wanted to throw up. it was obviously jealousy but you just couldn't bring yourself to admit it.
"you're speaking to me right now," steve smirks, cockily, knowing exactly how to get under your skin. you just glare at him and say nothing. "come on.. this can't be about our bickering last night?" he says, slightly astonished you were still holding that against him "you know i didn't mean it."
"well, maybe i did," you snap a little, gesturing towards the door and the girl that had just left.
steve chuckled a little at your words and rolled his eyes. "are you talking about her?" he asked, unable to contain his amusement towards the situation. "i.." steve started up, but then stopped the second he realised. were you.. jealous?
it caused him to smirk a little. you were jealous and that's why you were so worked up, and that's why you were so annoyed by him getting his 'dick wet' all the time.. because you were jealous but you were too caught up standing on your high horse to even allow yourself to believe that was true.
who would have guessed it, little y/n, the person who spends all day studying and worrying about their grades fancied steve. mr sleeps around and doesn't care about his grades. steve honestly found it all so funny, so much that he couldn't hold in a little laugh.
"what's so funny?" you say, getting defensive and his sudden burst of laughter.
"oh.. it's nothing," steve replies, deflecting your question.
"no. whats funny?"
"honestly, it's nothing, darling," he smirks, feeling progressively more pleased with himself as he saw your cheeks flush a little at the pet name. 'gotcha' he thought to himself. "don't you worry, i haven't got eyes for her," steve teases, his voice dripping with arrogance that made you want to smack the smug look off his face.
"and um.. y/n," steve says, turning to face you for just a moment. "jealousy looks so.. so good on you," he smirked, giving you a little wink before walking back into his room. leaving you dumbfounded and embarrassed that he was even able to notice.
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imagine-that-100 · 2 months
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Will We Talk? | Part 4 |
Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”
Word Count: 18.2k
A/N: It's finally here oh my lord. Once again so sorry my writing takes so long these days but I'm so excited about this chapter. Thank you for the suggestions I got after I dropped the teaser, really appreciate all the help and it got my mind back into writing mode again. After this there's only one part left, but its going to be fun so don't fret. Really hope you enjoy this part, please let me know what you think. Thank you so so much for reading. Enjoy x
| My Masterlist | 
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |
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The run up to Christmas was fun. Fucking Alex every other day of the week had been a surprisingly needed stress relief that a month ago you would have never foreseen. Usually the run up to Christmas had you stressed for no reason in particular but this year with your stresses finally being relieved every other night it was so much better than other Christmas breaks you’ve had in a long time. 
Alex had certainly been making the most of your arrangement. It was him texting or calling you asking, “Are you free tonight?” Which may as well be directly translated to ‘Do you want to fuck me tonight?’. Every single time you said yes, not depriving yourself of such simple pleasures and it led to you having a very relaxed holiday season. 
And now Christmas is over and done with, you were excited for tonight’s New Year’s party. So much so that you couldn’t sit at home and just wait to get ready, you ended up texting Katie and asking her if you could help her set up and thankfully she said yes. 
For the past hour you’ve been listening to music and hearing the Cook's Christmas stories of Forest getting all excited when he opened each present. She showed you a couple of videos before Jamie took the little man out for the afternoon while you both got the house ready for tonight. 
Your catch ups are the best and you adore your best friend so much. The gossiping and the giggling never ceases and you’re forever finding new things to talk about, it’s a miracle you’ve not discovered everything there is to know about each other after a decade of being best friends. 
But it turns out there are some things you are yet to discover. Like a certain holiday that was being planned. 
“You’re coming on the impromptu trip away with us, right?” Katie asks, a little out of the blue as if she’s just remembering as she unpeels the Happy New Year banners from each other and handing one to you. 
“Depends, when?” You tell her, knowing the dates of this trip will be the deal breaker if you can go, “I’m back in work on the ninth, remember?”
You’ve joined the Cooks on impromptu trips away before, both with their family and their friends. You’re always invited, which you find thoughtful of Katie and knowing that these trips tend to be very random, you’d started saving money for such events so you didn’t find yourself missing out. The only time you denied yourself was when the trips clashed with work which you hope isn’t the case this time. 
“Oh, we come back on the seventh.” Katie grins, very pleased with what you’ve just said, “You’re coming.” 
“Yeah,” You find yourself giggling at her, knowing she probably wouldn’t take no for an answer anyway. You continue putting up the party decorations as you tell her, “Just let me know how much it is and I’ll scramble it together.”
“Oh no, Alex is paying for us all,” She tells you, as she seems to be having a hard time stretching the balloons out to start blowing them up, “You just need spending money.” 
You immediately frown hearing that, bluetacking the banner on the wall and turning towards your best friend to ask, “What?”
“Alex is paying.” She tells you, “It’s for his birthday. Has he not told you about it yet?”
“No, he’s not mentioned it.” You tell her. 
You figure it’s best to neglect mentioning how the singer only talks to ask how you are before he ends up saying the filthiest things into your ear as he fucks you senseless. Holidays and other things normal friends would talk about are not on the cards. 
He comes over. You fuck. He leaves. Interaction complete. 
“Oh well, he probably expected me to ask you.” Katie shrugs, not thinking much of it, “But yeah don’t worry about the money, he’s paying.”
You’ll see about that, you think as you continue helping your best friend decorate, putting the singer out of your head for the time being. 
~*~*~*~
I need to speak to you 
You text the singer as you’re walking home from Katie’s. You thought about just leaving it but you know if you keep what you're feeling bottled in it will just make you go back into your shell when you’re around him, and that’s the last thing either of you want. 
Thankfully those thoughts don’t have enough time to fester because about 2 minutes later Alex texts you back. 
Christ
Am I in trouble? x
His response makes you roll your eyes as you can practically hear him asking you. You know for a fact he will have snorted when he got the message through and when he typed that one back to you. So you keep him in limbo for a bit. 
You’re not funny 
Phone me when you’re free. 
Thankfully you’re not waiting for ages for the call. Your phone starts ringing as you turn the corner and head down your road. It’s a little embarrassing how excited you are to get back in your house for a bit and just relax until the party later. 
After greeting him, Alex gets straight to the point, “What’s up Y/N?”
“About this holiday,” You start, “Katie told me she wants me to come and I want to know how you feel about that before I start to spiral.”
You can already sense the panic in your chest as you feel like you’re at a bit of a stalemate. You don’t want to let Katie down but you’re also definitely not going to go if Alex wants a break from you. You don’t want to intrude on his holiday. Especially one that’s for his birthday. 
“Don’t spiral.” Alex begs, and you swear he’s also outside as you can almost hear the way he takes a drag of a cigarette before he says, “The last thing we need is you spiralling and questioning everything again.”
You can picture the smile tugging at his lips as he says that. So much so that him finding your panic amusing means that you silently want to scorn him. 
“I’m well aware of that.” You say a little bit too bluntly, so you attempt to soften the blow when you follow up with a rhetorical, “Why do you think I asked you to call me?”
Alex definitely mutes a laugh, covering it by him pretending to clear his throat. To make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he distracts you by asking, “What’s panicking you now?”
“The holiday.” You take a deep breath before you start to vent your worries, “Apparently it’s for your birthday, I don’t know if you want me there with what’s going on with us. The fact that you’re apparently paying... I don’t want you paying for me if I come.”
“I did tell Katie to invite you if she wanted to.” Alex reveals. 
“That’s not the point. Do you want me there?” You ask him directly, “I don’t want to intrude on a holiday that’s for your birthday.”
Alex takes a second to answer that, not because it’s a difficult answer but mostly because he wants to know, “If we weren’t sleeping together would you come?”
You think about it for a second and realise that you probably would, but not without speaking to him and asking Katie at least 30 times if you were actually welcome. Not to mention trying not to interact with him much when you were out there. And you certainly would not be allowing him to pay for you. 
“I still would have double checked with you first, or got Katie to. But that doesn’t matter, it’s different now,” You start talking about your reality again, “The dynamic has changed.”
“Y/N, we were friends anyway,” Alex sighs and you’re glad he can’t see the way your face contorted in disagreement. “The only thing that’s different this time is that we’ve seen each other naked.” 
You almost scoff. 
You’ve done a lot more than see me naked, sir. 
Feeling flustered at the memories of him fucking you flooding back to your mind, you just get back to the point, “So, do you want me there or not?”
And you listen to his response as you unlock your front door and get into your house. Feeling the absence of the chill from outside makes the singers answer all the more bearable. 
“I just want you to do whatever you want to. You can come and have a holiday. I don’t expect anything from you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Alex says sincerely, before adding, “And I am paying.”
“I don’t want you to pay Alex,” You whine like a child not getting their own way. But you add honestly, “It makes me uncomfortable.”
And it’s not even just because you’re fucking him, although that is your main concern. It’s the fact that you’ve barely known him properly before now (and you still wouldn’t say you were all that close in any way but physically), you can’t in your right mind let him spend thousands on a skiing holiday for you.  
“Y/N, I didn’t invite you to make you feel uncomfortable.” The singer sighs, feeling like you should know this already. 
He’s not ever excluded you from something before and he’s certainly not about to start doing so now. And he’s not letting you pay for yourself when everyone else who is coming is paid for already. Christ, he doesn’t really know why this is even a conversation when everything has already been sorted and paid for in advance. 
You feel like you’re whining when you again admit, “I know that’s not the intention but I still feel it Alex.”  
“Well, it’s up to you.” Alex shrugs, hoping to convey how much he’s unbothered by the fact he’s paying for a holiday, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. “You’re very welcome to come and I’m paying for everyone, not just you.”
“But-“ You start but then stop yourself. 
Alex immediately questions, “But what?”
He would rather know what’s going on in your head rather than be left guessing. He needs to know how best to reassure you otherwise you both will just regress. And he doesn’t think that wanting for your honesty is too much to ask.
You can’t bring yourself to say it. So you just leave him with silence. 
But that silence speaks volumes. 
“You worried that if I pay for you to come I’m expecting you to shag me?” A few beats of silence pass and as you don’t dismiss him entirely, he already knows it to be true. His question is entirely rhetorical, “That’s it, isn’t it?”
You can’t even confirm it for him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that is a worry of yours. 
“Y/N.” Alex sighs, knowing he’s right because of your silence. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that right? You can come away with us and we don’t have to do anything.”
“It’s not compulsory, even when we’re home. Y/N/N, you’re Katie’s best friend, you’ve been around for ten years.” He backs up his point some more, “You came on the last holiday we went on, this is going to be no different to that. My birthday just happens to fall on a day whilst we’re there.” 
“You didn’t pay for me last time Al.” You argue in a slight huff, already feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle. 
“Hey, listen to me.” Alex persists, “I’m paying for everyone to come, not just you, and I’m not expecting a huge orgy all week.” 
You can help the laugh that escapes your lips at that. It’s a full giggle that the singer can’t help but grin at as he takes another drag of his cigarette. 
“There’s that laugh.” He hums, enjoying the sound even more purely because it’s him that’s caused it. 
Only after your laughter subsides, do you ask, a lot calmer now, “Are you sure you want me there?” 
“Yes, sweet.” Alex assures you. And just to convince you some more, he adds, “I need someone to entertain Mrs Cook when I pull Jamie away for a pint anyway. Think you fit the brief.” 
“Ah yeah, I think I could do that for you.” You chuckle a little, but then you’re serious in a soft tone, “I still feel bad that you’re paying though Alex. Skiing holidays are a lot of money.”
“I have a lot of money that I’ll never need.” The singer tells you, and you try not to think about the way anxiety in your chest dissipates when he says, “I’d rather treat my friends to a week away.”
You're his friend. Something so simple shouldn’t make your heart swell. Especially when the other night he tongue fucked you until you came, twice. 
“Well I’m buying you food and drinks whilst we’re away then.” You counter, finally readying yourself to admit defeat. 
“We’re going all inclusive but thanks.” You can almost hear Alex’s smirk. 
You sigh, dropping down onto your settee and leaning back to try and get comfy, “Well I’m assuming we won’t be staying in the hotel for your birthday. They’ll be pubs and cafes I’m sure.” 
He counters, “I’ll take a drink at the airport before we go.” 
“Okay deal.” You accept but know you’ll find ways to do more than just that, “Thank you Alex. You really don’t have to do this.”
“Well I want to.” Alex smiles, and his tone is full of amusement as he says, “And I can’t have you spiralling.”
You hum in a silent laugh at that and let your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You’re about to tell him that it’s just how you are but you’re okay now you’ve spoken about it. But he takes your attention again. 
“You know that this goes both ways right, Y/N/N?” You’re about to ask him what he’s on about until he continues, “If I text you asking to come over, you can say no and I’m not going to be offended by it. I understand that it’s not going to happen every time.” 
He’s talking about fucking you. And trying to make you feel more at ease about your situationship. 
Alex finishes off by saying, “I just ask on the off chance that you’re up for it.”
“I am always up for it.” Are the words that slip from your lips, and when you realise what you’ve said, your eyes shoot open. 
Oh my god woman, you sound so needy. Backtrack now. Now!
You sit up as you begin to pathetically backtrack, “Well. I mean, I- when you say you are, I, I- usually am too.”
“Good to know you’re always up for me, sweet,” You can hear Alex's smirk then, but thankfully he doesn’t tease you more for it he just carries on to say, “It seems like I’m texting you all the time asking to come over but you can text me. You’re allowed to get horny too.” 
You try and fail not to flush at hearing him say that. Especially when you can feel the ghost of his touch as you’re sitting on the settee he had you ride him on a week ago. 
“Alex, you’re over twice a week, if not more... It’s not like I’m without relief for long.” To drive the point home you say, “It’s not a ten month wait again.”
In your little meetings you’d discussed when you’d both last been with someone else. Yours was a guy you were seeing at the beginning of the year who turned out to just not do it for you after you dated him for a few months. 
Alex’s last fling was another rebound of his after the French girl he cheated on Taylor with. Turns out Alex hadn’t been with anyone in the last 5 months which did surprise you a little. But who are you to presume he’d just become a slag after his break up? 
“Still. We started this for a reason.” Alex drives the point home, wanting you to fully understand, “You can say no and you can call me whenever you want too.” 
You nod even though he can’t see you, “I know.”
“Maybe this holiday can just be the friends you’re so persistent we’re not.” 
You frown, confused, “What?”
“Your rule, ‘no sex while we’re away’.” Alex smirks, but he’s sincere when he says, “To make you feel more comfortable. 
“I don’t wanna seem like a prude Alex I just don’t…” You fail to continue your sentence, Wanna seem like a prostitute. 
“I think of all people, I’m not the one who’s going to think of you as a prude, sweet.” The singer can't help but tease, finding himself funny. 
You take a deep breath, trying not to let your amusement or embarrassment show, “So where are we going?”
“The Alps.” The singer tells you almost smugly, “Where else?”
You decide that you may as well ask him for the details if he’s sorting everything out, “When do we go?”
“Early morning of the second, we need to be at the airport for like four.” He tells you after a moment of thought. 
You hum, finally letting the excitement for a holiday bubble in your stomach, “Okay.”
Alex is smiling already hearing you finally sound at ease about the holiday, but he can’t help but push his luck a little more, “You free tonight, sweet?”
“No and neither are you,” You almost laugh, the amusement clear in your voice, “We’ve got Katie’s New Year’s party.”
Alex is grinning as he comes back with, “I mean at like three in the morning.”
“You’re a horny fuck.” You can’t help but tell him as you shake your head. 
You’re entirely unable to stop your face from flushing, making you very grateful he can’t see you. All you hope is he’s picturing you with a completely unbothered yet 
“You’re the one that just said you’re always up for me.” Alex counters and you have to bite your tongue. 
Idiot Y/N. 
“See you later Alex.” You immediately dismiss him, not wanting his teasing right now. 
Alex laughs loudly, “See you later sweet.”
~*~*~*~ January 2nd 2019 ~*~*~*~
The Alps are absolutely mesmerising and you could stare at the snow covered mountains for days. The trip was certainly worth every single ounce of effort and you know you’ll be eternally grateful to Alex for him bringing you all here. 
You’re sure when you first got here you looked like a child in a toyshop. The views are absolutely stunning and you know for a fact that your jaw was agape as you took in the breathtaking scenery around you. 
So much so that Alex turned you towards him at one point and pushed your jaw back up and quietly teased, “Don’t let anyone else see those pretty lips parted like that, don’t want people getting ideas.”
Needless to say, you flushed hearing that and Alex wasn’t subtle about the way he let his smirk take over his face. And then he left you hanging, sauntering off to join Miles, Nick, and Jamie walking just in front of you, leaving you to catch up with Katie, Kristen, and Flo who all joined you for the holiday. 
Alex leaving you like this hadn’t been the only time since you’d woken up early today though. He’d been a tease since he picked you up to take you to the airport, asking if you’d recovered from the previous nights activities where he all but folded you into a pretzel and fucked you until you came on his cock. 
That wasn’t the beginning or end of your antics after the party, he’d teased you at Katie’s party, getting you in the mood and ready for him when he pulled you to a quieter bit of the party and pushed you against the wall to kiss you, taking away any sense but him. And he did it every time to leave you wanting more only for him to pull away and leave you to your own devices for a while. 
So you were desperate when it got to 3am and he was practically pulling you down the road so you could get back to your house. And he certainly did show you a good time until you practically passed out from the exhaustion. 
You woke up late the next morning to a glass of water and some painkillers on your bedside table along with a note that read, Hope you’re not too sore sweet x
It wasn’t hard to guess he probably felt a hint of guilt how far you’d both gone the night before. In the heat of the moment he said somethings about him wanting you to remember him, the feel of him inside you, over the week that you were both away. 
He kept making you regret the no sex on holiday rule. Alex kept saying how you'd be begging him to take you when you got back home, how you’d not be able to walk properly by the time he’d finished with you after a week of not touching him the way he knows your filthy mind craves him.
You're ashamed to admit that your thoughts about him are sometimes so dirty they belong down the gutter. He’d certainly made a good job of having you long for him. 
You try not to admit to yourself that you crave him. That when he decided that he was the one that was going to be sitting next to you on the plane and not Flo, you were happy. Not because you had any issue with Flo, no she was such an amazing friend to you, but because it was Alex. And he wanted to sit beside you. 
The little shit that he was though teased you the whole journey. You were still tired so when you sighed and closed your eyes once you’d relaxed after the take off, Alex whispered into your ear, “Did I work you too hard sweet?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” You say as you feel yourself flush knowing he was to do with your fatigue. 
You slept in a little on New Year’s Day after you’d taken the painkillers he’d left out for you, but then your day was spent packing for this trip, figuring out what you’d need and calling Katie to double checking on if you’d need going out clothes and doing a checklist of the skiing things you actually own. 
By the time you went to bed it was 11pm and that was far later than you should have been going to sleep because you had to be up at 3am to get ready. So it was do to Alex fucking you hard and long enough on New Years and the fact you had so little sleep last night that you were tired on the plane. 
Next, he’s disturbing your attempt at sleep by him putting his hand on your thigh and leisurely trailing his hand up and down, mixed with him occasionally squeezing. He keeps an eye on your reaction to him, you going stiff for a few seconds and him taking great pleasure in saying, “I’ve done worse than putting my hand on your thigh, sweet.”
“Not in public or daylight.” You huff and try to get yourself comfy enough to get sleepy. 
Looking out of the window just has you mesmerised so after a few minutes you just end up looking around the plane. It's just you and Alex sitting beside each other and for some reason you’re not all that close to your friends. 
Katie, Kirsten, and Flo are all on one row, about 4 seats ahead of you, and Miles, Jamie, and Nick are on the row behind them. You’ve got no idea why you’re so far away from them with the gap of strangers in front of you, but you guess things could be worse. You could be sitting alone or worse, you could be at home feeling like you’re missing out. 
There’s a stranger beside Alex so you’re glad you took the window seat and the views of sun rising through the clouds were amazing. You genuinely wish you weren’t as tired as you were so you could appreciate them fully. 
Instead you’re feeling uncomfortable and whichever way you lean your head isn’t helping you relax. If it's against the wall of the plane you can feel the vibrations, just leaning back does nothing to help and if you do fall asleep like that you’re not risking possibly snoring because your jaw is hanging open, and if you let your head fall forward that’s not good for your posture, not to mention painful. 
Maybe it’s you wriggling in your seat that gives you away, considering his hand is still on your thigh, but Alex seems to pick up on your discomfort easily. 
“You can lean on me to go to sleep, you know?” Alex tells you with a smile, nodding down to his shoulder just beside you. 
“What,” You hold back your sigh but let him know that you’re not all that impressed with his offer after his previous antics, “So you can just try to wake me up even more?” 
“Come on sweet.” Alex chuckles, rubbing your thigh again before squeezing it. “Not my fault you’re not finding it relaxing.”
Pretending that him gripping your thigh didn’t give you flashbacks to the other night, you keep your voice quiet as you raise your eyebrows accusingly, “Because you’re trying to be a tease.”
“And it’s working.” Alex smirks, clearly knowing whatever your tells are by now, he gestures to the back of the plane, “Wanna go to the bathroom?” 
Its a mixture of shock and being entirely unimpressed that has you asking, “Are you kidding?”
“Absolutely not.” Alex grins, holding his chuckle as he asks, “We’re not on holiday yet, technically. We could go again if you're not feeling satisfied enough before we land?” 
You don’t dignify him with an answer, you just shake your head and look away from the tease. While the thought of him fucking you and you having to be quiet because others are around seems like quite the thrill, the mere thought of doing so in a public aeroplane has you wanting gag. 
“What?” Alex fakes his hurt, nonchalantly following up with, “I know you can get horny just after you’ve woken up.”
Your head whips back to him, narrowing your eyes as you scold, “You’re being loud.” 
He wasn’t. His voice was just above a whisper. But the mere fact you were on a plane with the possibility of anyone around you eavesdropping has you getting all embarrassed and flustered in an instant.
“Sorry,” Alex barely holds back his grin. “I’ll be subtle about it when I take you in the bathroom.”
Instead of scowling, you lean your head back on the seat, close your eyes, and take a deep breath so you don’t end up smacking him. Taking a few seconds to calm your anxiousness down and try not to let his joking get you too embarrassed when you know he isn’t trying to be malicious, you just stay like that silently. 
But Alex disturbs your peace, “You don’t have to think about it so intently Y/N/N, we can just do it.”
“No.” You look at him again, and say even quietly to try and further your point, “Not to mention everyone would see.”
Alex can’t help but take that though as you just don’t want to right now. In such a public setting. That’s not you saying that you’d never be ready to join the mile high club.
“Oh okay, remind me to take you on a private jet.” Alex squeezes your thigh again, before winking, “They mind their business on those.” 
You’re lost for words for a brief moment. Taking in exactly what that means, and you end up half frowning. 
“Way to persuade me.” You scoff, “Telling me you’re already in the mile high club.” 
Sarcasm is thick in your voice as you say, “Such a turn on.”
The singer can’t help but smirk though, “Don’t be jealous now, sweet.” 
After that, Alex seems to give you a break from his endless torment. He takes his hand from your thigh as he reaches down to his bag by his feet and takes out the word search book he bought himself in WHSmiths at the airport. Finally you feel like you can relax and sleep for the remainder of the 2 hour flight. 
Or you hoped so anyway, but it seems the vibrations of the plane's wall just wanted you conscious. So it was with a huff you leant back against the headrest once more. 
“Just,” Alex sighs and he picks his hand up to cup the side of your face to gently push your head on his shoulder. 
Instant comfort was an understatement compared to the wall and the seat. But you still felt weird about it. 
You tell him with a sigh, “I don’t want to annoy you.”
“You don’t annoy me at all, Y/N/N.” He dismisses immediately, paying you no more attention after saying, “Go to sleep.”
And so you did. You got a good hour’s sleep and you think it was only when the plane started to make a steady descent that your body woke you up as a result of the decrease in altitude. But you woke up gently and slowly, and you realised you were still on Alex’s shoulder long before you opened your eyes. 
You found yourself not wanting to move. The woody scent of his aftershave leaves you in a little trance all the time and you never want to bring yourself out of it. So you just blinked your eyes open slowly and told your body not to even twitch to give away that you were awake. 
And Alex didn’t notice because you now see he’s entirely too engrossed in his book. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre.
A true classic, you can’t help but tiredly smile as you see he’s about to get to one of your favourite bits of the book. You following pretty easily for a few pages because he’s holding the book open practically as far as it can go (you’re so tired you can find it in yourself to shudder at the fact the book will definitely have a cracked spine) in one hand, and you only noticed when he turned the pages that his other had gone back to gently resting on your thigh.
Everything is good for about 5 minutes, but then the singer started reading too fast for you at one of your favourite bits, so you end up having to say a quiet, “Go back,” 
“What?” You feel Alex turn his head towards you a little, his jaw gently nudging your head but you don’t make a single effort to move.
“Hadn’t finished the page,” You tell him and Alex can’t help but smile as he turns the page back for you.  
His only indication that you’re ready to move on is the slight nod of your head and Alex even angles the book towards your direction a little more so you can both read. He smiles at the way you haven’t attempted to move from his shoulder at all, seemingly quite comfy. 
You both continue reading together for the next few pages until the same thing happens again where Alex turns the page too soon. This time you whine a little as you whisper, “Too fast.”
“Not had you complain about my speed before.” Alex can’t help but tease when the opportunity is right there for the taking, but all it earns him is a poke in his side which makes him jump and he just about peers down at you seeing you smiling victoriously.
After this you fall into a rhythm of you nodding slightly when you're ready for him to turn the page. It doesn’t bother Alex at all, no it's the opposite, he finds you endearing that you’re both enjoying his book and reading it at the same time. 
The both of you become entirely engrossed in Jane Eyre’s world that you barely even acknowledge that the plane is just about ready to land. It’s only when the air hostess’ voice fills the plane as they announce over the tannoy that you’d be landing shortly, does Alex close the book. 
At the same time you reluctantly pick your head up from his shoulder, Alex offers as he taps the book, “Can borrow it after me if you want?” 
“I’ve already read it, I just love that part you’re on.” You hum, smiling at him in earnest, “Thank you though.”
And both of you know you’re not just saying thank you for that offer, but thank you for allowing you to fall asleep on him. 
The transfer to the resort even had you in awe. But when you got to the hotel and you entered your room, you were blown away by your view. 
The white mountains are stunning and you were so glad you brought your camera. This was something you definitely didn’t want to ever forget. 
The air felt like ice on your skin as you took your pictures, the bitter cold making you want to jump into the private hot tub you have on your balcony. 
You restrain yourself, saving that for later, you opt for a hot shower to settle you after that flight and you end up falling asleep in the warmest queen sized bed. 
You all meet downstairs a few hours later where you get some food and decide that you’re going to all get ready to hit the slopes, you all opting for the red runs for today. They were so much fun and with you skiing, you just find yourself in awe of Flo on her snowboard flying past you all. 
It’s a fun few hours, with you all stopping half way down the slope at one of the cafes on the mountain where you all have a hot coffee, and the lads follow it up with a beer. The lads head off before the rest of you, wanting to be speed demons and race down the rest of the way which you’re all fine with. 
You know Flo will inevitably end up beating them down anyway. Which she of course did. 
Before you set off though, you girls decide that after dinner you’re all going to have a little hot tub party. So that’s how you’re now sinking in the hot tub on your balcony, Katie already in after beating you to being the first. 
You just laugh at her rushing in there to beat you, as you take off your hotel dressing gown to reveal your dark green bikini. Katie says she loves the colour of yours as you glance back around at her and tell her you adore her maroon one. 
But it’s when you step into the tub that Katie gasps, loud enough for you to pause as you stand in the pool of bubbling water. 
“What are they?” Katie points to your thighs with wide eyes. 
Your bruised beyond belief thighs. Dark, almost purple bruises that litter the tops of your thighs which were left by the mouth of the singer next door. 
“Y/N!” Katie yells, her jaw dropped as she looks at the assault on your skin, “What the fuck?” 
“Katie, stop looking at me.” You get all flustered and embarrassed so you're about to sit down, but your best friend grabs your hips to stop you so she can look at the dark marks for longer. 
“Oh my fucking god.” She shakes her head, too shocked by the sheer amount of them. “It’s hard not to when you have those on your thighs Y/N!”
“Please stop, can we just pretend you didn’t see them.” You pry yourself out of her grip and finally immerse yourself into the hot water, loving the chill dissipating from your body. 
“No, I want the gossip.” Katie grabs her glass of prosecco you’d poured her and left on the side of the tub along with yours and the other girls that were meant to be coming shortly. “How’s it been going between you two?” 
“Fine.” You nod with a coy smile as you reach for your glass. 
Your best friend shakes her head, “I’m not settling with fine.” 
“It’s good.” You take a long sip of your drink, knowing you’ll need it if you’re having this conversation, “I guess he keeps me on my toes.”
“In what way?” She prys. 
You think about how to word your feelings for a second. The sound of the jets humming in the cold air fills the brief silence until you end on, “I’m still not used to having a booty call or being one. I still get a text off him and it throws me... He still makes me nervous.”
“That’s good though.” Katie hums and nods, “He’d be boring if he didn’t make you nervous.”
“Yeah, I guess.” You nod in agreement. 
But your best friend enquires, “He’s not making you nervous in general now, right? Just when he comes on to you?”
“No, it's a lot better.” You explain honestly, sinking into the water a little more. “But I’m still not at ease if that makes any sense. I still find him difficult to read.”
“That just comes with time.” Katie nods, understanding you entirely, “When you start spending more time with him, you’ll figure it out.”
“Well that doesn’t really happen,” You mumble a little but seeing as she heard you and noting that sparkle in her eye for the gossip, you explain, “He sort of just shows up and we fuck and then he leaves.”
Katie frowns a little at that though, “Thought he took you out?”
“That was just until I felt more comfortable around him. We’ve not carried that on.” You almost cringe when you say, “We’re just shagging now.”
“And how’s that going?” Your best friend smirks, “The bruises seem like a good sign.”
You sigh, “Yeahhh.” taking another sip of your drink. 
“What was that sigh for?” She calls you out. 
You try to pass it off immediately, “Nothing.”
But she’s not having any of it, “S’not nothing, come on.”
“He was just a tease on the plane but he’s doing it on purpose.” Your cheeks heat up a bit as you tell her. 
“Getting you ready for later.” She grins and gives you some teasing suggestive eyes herself. 
You gently shake your head, “I don’t think so.”
“Oh?” Katie raises her eyebrows, “What does that mean?”
Oh fuck. 
“Don’t make me explain Katie.” You pout. 
She pushes you, “Come onnnn.”
You just sigh in defeat and say, “We’re not doing that right now.”
“Excuse me?” Your best friend is now even more confused. 
“You heard me Kate.” You sigh, closing your eyes not wanting to explain yet another of your stupid thoughts to her. 
For clarity’s sake she has to ask, “Weren’t you with him twice last week?”
“We shagged on Boxing Day and then the 28th and New Years.” You tell her. 
And it occurs to you that you’ve probably not been this active on a regular basis since you were in your late teens. Either you or Alex clearly has the sex drive of a teenager and with the state of your thighs, you think it’s more likely Alex. 
Glancing at the bruises again you can almost feel the ghost of his mouth there. You fall into the daze of remembering the way his lips attacked the tops of your thighs as he fingered you to edge you, not letting you finish until you were begging to have his tongue instead.  
He toyed with you, saying his mouth was already on you, sucking your thighs that bit more before biting them making you whine. But you were desperate to have him eat you out. Have his tongue tease and flick your clit in the way he knows makes you lose your mind. 
And he wouldn’t give in. Not until you were on the edge for the third time, right on the verge of getting bratty with him and making the right decision he compensated by eating you out until you came twice on his tongue. And the way he fucked you afterwards, god, you wish-
“And he’s not touched you since?” Katie’s question shocks you back to reality. 
You blink a few times, and shake your head, “No.” 
She smirks, almost trying to hide it behind her glass, “I bet you’re losing your mind.”
“I feel like it.” You hum, nodding. 
Katie asks, fully ready to big you up to go and knock on his door after your girls prosecco party, “Don’t you want him to touch you?”
“I want nothing more at the minute.” You tell her honestly, “But we’re not doing it until after the holiday.”
She frowns, completely confused, “Why?”
Surely on holiday is on of the best places to fuck? Why wouldn’t you be doing that? Katie can’t help but think. 
“Because he knew I felt uncomfortable about him paying for me to come and I was worried he’d expect something from me.”
“Y/N.” Her face falls and then she gently scorns you, “He’s not like that.”
“I know he isn’t Katie. But you know how my mind works. It worries me.” You shrug, not really being able to help it. 
“Well I thi-“ Katie starts but is interrupted by Florence appearing at the door of your balcony. 
“Hey,” You grin, very thankful for the conversation being cut short. 
Hopefully never to be brought up again. 
“Flo,” Katie smiles and waves her over, “Come in.”
The gorgeous woman walks out and hangs her dressing gown up before running to the tub to escape the chilly air. After commenting on how much both you and Katie like her black, glittery bikini, the artist asks you both, “What were we talking about?”
You try to think of something quickly to change the subject entirely but your best friend gets in there first and grins, “Just how Y/N/N is sleeping with Alex now and she’s seeing if she can go the holiday without.”
You might drown yourself in this hot tub. Can you get any more embarrassed today? 
Flo’s smile is huge as her head whips around to you in shock. You can tell she’s happy for you, presumably for Alex too, but she shocks you when she tells you, “Don’t deny yourself the pleasure.”
You’re so beyond confused by that statement until Katie’s eyes go wide as she gasps, “Fuck, I always forget about you two.”
You blink a few times as you hear her tell Katie that it’s understandable she’d forget because it was before her and Jamie got together. But you’re still in shock, you have to get the clarification, “You and Alex?”
You hope it doesn't sound like you’re annoyed because you’re not, no one even Alex has to tell you anything about this and clearly Flo just found out about yours and her ex’s rendezvous. You’re just confused, clearly Katie forgot but you’ve not even heard any jokes about it or any mention of it before now. 
“Yeah, a long time ago.” Flo nods and is quick to explain as she grabs her glass of prosecco. “Lost our virginities to each other back in college, but started seeing him years later.”
She continues to explain with a roll of her eyes, “But the idiot was seeing me at the same time as Alexa back on their Favourite Worst Nightmare tour so I held my tongue for about a week until I blew up and called him out in front of all the lads…” She adds quickly, “It got ugly.”
It makes your chest go tight. He did that to one of his best friends years ago, and he did to his girlfriend of three years last year. 
You're sincere when you say, “I’m so sorry.”
You feel almost embarrassed to be sleeping with him now. Especially when you’d consider Flo a friend of yours, even before this trip, when you spoke to her about her artwork that she creates at various parties you’ve both attended. She’d always been lovely to you and made you feel entirely at ease. 
And now you’re sleeping with her ex. You need the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 
“Don’t be, it worked out well in the end.” It seems that the artist can’t keep the smile off her face as she finishes her story, “I went to Manchester and Matty and my cousin, Adam, got me through it. And when the time was right and I was healed, Matty asked me out and now we’ve been together for a decade.” Her grin is huge as she proudly tells you, “Married for three and a half years.”
It’s impossible to not be happy for her, her love for her husband shining through so brightly. But you can’t help but ask her, “Why are you still friends with him? Alex, I mean.” 
You can’t imagine anyone betraying your trust that much and being close friends with them years later. 
“Oh, it took a long while and a lot of grovelling on his part. But after two years of barely speaking to him, and with how happy I was with Matty, I forgave Al and now we get on like nothing ever happened.” Flo explains, “I see the other lads too often to let it continue for a lifetime of awkwardness.”
She’s a better person than you. You could never. 
You think out loud. “The lads didn’t know he was two timing you?” 
“No,” She shakes her head, taking a sip of her drink before saying, “They were as shocked as me when Alexa showed up. Only Miles knew, and covered for him.” 
You shake your head, seeing Miles in a completely different light now. But you guess if you’re judging Alex by how he’s only been with you, you have to do the same with Miles. 
“You’re too good. I would never forgive either of them for that.” Katie gives her two cents on the situation. 
“I’ve been told that a lot. By Alex himself too... But despite last year's shit show, he has changed.” Flo assures you, but then smirks, “So enjoy him, queen.”
You sink into the water a bit more, entirely awkward about the way both women are smirking at you. 
“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s good.” Flo giggles, “God only knows that if I didn’t call him out to everyone I would have a hard time choosing between him and Matty.” 
You’re glad she’s such a lovely person and she eases you entirely. 
“Good job you’re married then.” You joke, which makes Katie also spit out her drink laughing and Flo giggles before clinking her prosecco glass with yours. 
“You should see her thighs.” Your best friend laughs. 
You shoot her the dirtiest look, “Katie!”
~*~*~*~ 
Thankfully by the time Kristen arrived the subject of you and Alex had long since been dropped. 
Flo saw your thighs and she told you about how she thinks the man will never truly grow up because he left lots of love bites on her boobs when they lost their virginities, and mercifully after that, the subject moved away and the four of you are now just chilling and listening to your a playlist that’s blaring through your phone. 
You were all giggling at nothing in particular when you got startled by two men at the balcony door. Alex and Jamie come outside in their trunks and Jamie is the one to scoff, “You all thought you could have a party without us.”
Jamie practically jumps in and sits himself down between Flo and Katie, but your attention is drawn to Alex who sinks in beside you and you half find yourself wanting to scurry over to Katie. 
He looks too good. Last time you’d seen him shirtless you were drunk and your memory hazy, but he looks so fucking good and his toned abdomen and his trunks low enough for you to clearly see that V line down to- Stop. 
Stop. 
Thankfully Alex doesn’t seem to notice the way you get a little bit more tense with him beside you. Instead he immediately asks Flo, “How’s Matty, angel?” 
“Yeah he’s good, thanks Shakespeare.” Flo smiles, and despite not understanding her nickname for him, you happily listen in to distract yourself. 
Maybe it’s to do with the Macbeth reference in If You Were There, Beware? You can’t help but wonder. Maybe you’ll ask her later. 
The singer can’t help but ask curiously, “Why didn’t he join us again?” 
“Tour rehearsals.” The artist informs him, “His UK tour starts on the ninth.”
“Fair enough,” Alex nods, clearly completely understanding the situation Flo’s husband finds himself in. “I’m glad we aren’t back on the road till late Feb now.” 
“Bet you are.” Flo smiles at him but when he tunes into Jamie’s conversation, her eyes flick to you and she smirks. 
You sink even further into the water. 
Despite Alex now being beside you, you try not to let your nervous energy take over.  No, instead you carry on as normal and have some of the funniest conversations with the people around you. You’re only thrown off when you realise that an old Arctic Monkeys song comes on through your phone and your eyes go wide when Jamie sighs, “I haven’t heard this song in so long.” 
Immediately, you tense hearing the guitar and drums at the start of Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts. Fuck, this is why you don’t normally have your music on around Katie, so you don’t have this awkward interaction.
“Sorry, I didn’t realise it was in this playlist.” You say, immediately turning to reach for your phone.
Liar. You feel Alex’s eyes screaming at you, as he looks amused at the fact you like his music, as if he already didn’t know. 
“Keep it on.” Jamie tells you, and you hesitate for a split second feeling Alex’s eyes on you until his friend continues to say, “Complete nostalgia of playing it at yours Al.” 
“Yeah, it’s a gooden.” Alex smiles.
“Who was this one even about Al?” Flo asks, entirely amused, thankfully stealing the singer's attention away from you so he doesn’t see you starting to fidget, really not wanting the song to stay on.
Your knee is twitching, your foot tapping on the floor of the jacuzzi like you can’t sit still at all. Thankfully the water and the bubbles will be enough to stop you from being noticed though.
“Just that girl I fancied back in Year 11.” Alex explains, “She was in your English lessons, I think she was called-“
If you were to tell the story again, you wouldn’t have been able to name the girl at all. Just that Alex really liked her in school and never got the courage to ask her out and then some guy who was in the year above them in school ended up going out with her. 
The conversation moved on and easily past that and your awkwardness about the man you’re sleeping with catching you having his song on your playlist eases off. But then, about 10 minutes later, it happens again. 
“Fuck my life,” You whisper immediately reaching to grab your phone this time. 
Because this is so much worse. 
It’s not just that Piledriver Waltz has started to play. It’s even more embarrassing that it's the Submarine soundtrack version of the song, it’s just Alex. Not even Arctic Monkeys.  
“Didn’t know you enjoyed my music this much, sweet.” Alex can’t help but once again tease you. Finding your reactions too entertaining not to. 
The panic in your eyes when the first Monkey's song came on, but the way you swore under your breath at this one just made him want to burst out laughing. You look absolutely mortified, and clearly not wanting to get any extra teasing from himself or your friends which you were likely expecting.
But Alex isn’t one to disappoint. So of course he teased you. 
You can’t help but narrow your eyes at him, “In the nicest possible way, fuck off.” Before you quickly look for a playlist that is safe and doesn’t have any of his songs on there. 
“It’s all good Y/N.” Alex smirks, “It’s good to know I’m doing something right.”
His hand comes to rest on your thigh to stop your leg from tapping. You swallow, stopping your movements and taking a deep breath to not let it get to you that the others could see his hand on your thigh. Although you’d rather them see his hand there than the bruises he’s left. 
Thankfully the bubbles disguise it from everyone else and no one comments, but just as you ask, “What album do you want to listen to?” Miles and Nick turn up at your door with more alcohol in their hands and everyone beckons them in. 
Which is an issue for you because the hot tub is probably only meant to have 4 people in it at the most and now there’s 8 of you. So you’re unsure why it’s you and Kirsten that have drawn the short straws, but you’ve both been pulled into the laps of who you’re sleeping with. But one second you were seated closely beside Alex, and now you’re sitting on his lap, your arm having to go over his shoulder so you don't slip off as you lean into him a little. 
Kirsten and Nick, you understand, they are married. Flo not sitting in Miles’ lap, you again understand because they aren’t together. What you don’t understand is why Katie isn’t on her husband's lap when they are married and have a child. But you, who has been sleeping with this man for less than a month, has been pulled onto his lap to make more room for everyone. 
All of a sudden you feel like you’re holding your breath and can’t relax. After being submerged in the warm water for so long, most of your top half being exposed to the crisp air makes you chilly and your thighs feel far too close to the surface of the water so you feel your hands in your lap to try and disguise the bruises. 
Thankfully one of Alex’s arms comes to rest across your thighs too and he holds your thighs again. And you can’t help slipping back into that little daydream of yours. 
Of the way he pried your thighs open, as if you weren’t already willing and dripping for him. As if you weren’t begging him to eat you out anyway. And when he finally gave into your demands his fingers only dug into your skin more, holding you open entirely at his mercy. 
And when he worked you up and up until he had your back arching and his name caught in your throat as you pulled harshly on his hair. He kept going, eating up everything you had to give him until you were writhing beneath him entirely overstimulated. 
After he blissfully tortured you like that, he kissed his way up your body until you could taste yourself on his tongue. And that only lead to him fucking you till you could barely move. His cock made you see stars when he hooked his arms under your legs and moved them closer to your chest. 
The pleasure he drove into you over and over was blinding, you saw white when you came. The only thing you can remember is the way Alex groaned into your ear when you clenched around him and the way he moaned when you tugged on his sweaty hair. And the way he bit your shoulder when he got his release not a minute later. 
Not to mention the way he flipped you over when you both caught your breaths and he fu-
“I can feel you.” Alex's whisper startles you out of your memory and your eyes snap to the man you were daydreaming about. 
You all but jump off his lap, your heart racing ten to the dozen feeling like you’ve been caught red handed. But you keep calm, not letting your cheeks heat up to give you away. 
“Feel what?” You ask him, the shock slowly disappearing from your face. 
“Your pulse,” Alex tells you in a low voice, his grip on you tightening, “On my thigh.”
And it dawns on you what he means. You’re fucking throbbing, completely aching at the thought of him. And he can fucking feel you. 
Fuck offfffffff. Men can actually feel that?!
No. No. No. 
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You play dumb, having to because you don’t think you’ll be able to look at him again if not. 
Not that you can right now, you just look at Flo and start listening to her, Miles, and Kirsten’s conversation. Meanwhile praying to every god that there is that you calm the fuck down and you stop being horny immediately. 
“Course you don’t, sweet.” Alex kisses your shoulder and his lips linger on your skin as he smirks, “Just like you can’t feel me.”
You’re about to ask him what he means until he shifts you against him more and you can feel his erection pressed against your thigh. He’s hard. Really hard. You have to hold in the sound you want to make. 
Why the fuck did you want this ‘no fucking’ shit. You can’t stop thinking about him. The way you want to kiss him. The way you want him in your mouth. The way you want him to fill you up and fuck you like it’s the last time you’re ever going to be able to. 
You don’t even realise what you’re doing until Alex grunts in your ear, “I’d stop wriggling unless you want me to fuck you in front of these lot.”
Your thighs press against each other and you pray Alex didn’t feel that too. Despite him definitely noticing, Alex didn’t say anything, didn’t tease you any more and you just about managed to have a conversation with Flo about how she’s joining her husband on his tour and how she’s going to stay in Sheffield for a while after to see her best friend. 
But it’s not long after that, the alcohol runs dry and everyone notices the time. Nick and Kirsten are the first to leave, followed by Katie and Jamie, and when you don’t move from Alex’s lap (because he won’t let you, his hands clutching you tightly after you tried to move when the first couple left. Clearly doesn’t think the bubbles will  hide his hard on) Flo and Miles are the last to get out. 
Miles gives you both a cheeky smile and he helps the artist out of the tub and hands her the dressing gown. Both of them say bye to you and Alex but Florence gives you a teasing look as she leaves, seeming to scream at the both of you, have funnn. 
Your jaw locks and you very subtly shake your head at her, trying your absolute best to keep the smile off your face and show your strength. And you’d say you do well, you shout an unbothered bye to the direction they went and only when you hear your bedroom door thud shut does Alex’s hold on you go slack. 
And finally you release the breath you were holding and grab the side of the tub to stand up, needing off this man's lap before you do something you’ll regret. Abandoning your empty prosecco glass you just get yourself stood up when the singer stops you. 
“Where are you going?” Alex gently grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him, the water sloshing as you fall back towards him. 
“Alex,” You sigh as he moves you so you’re straddling him, but before you can even protest his mouth finds yours. 
His kiss takes your breath away, and he doesn’t give you time to think. He just wants you to feel. 
Alex attacks you with long kisses, three of them that have you forgetting that you were even trying to get away. It’s as if something ignites in you both, the mere connection of your lips has your skin erupting in goosebumps, and they aren’t from the contrast with the hot water and the cold air. 
But you seem to get some perspective and much to Alex’s disappointment, you pull back from the kiss. But he doesn’t let you go far at all, his hand on the back of your neck keeps you close enough your foreheads are resting against each others. 
“It’s just a kiss.” Whispers the man who’s got your heart racing, his hand pulling your neck that bit closer hoping you’ll kiss him again. 
“It’s never just a kiss with you,” You breathlessly reply, gently shaking your head, your nose rubbing against his. 
When he pulls you back for another kiss you can’t deny yourself the simple pleasure. Because it is never just a kiss. 
And it isn’t, because you’re not sure what this one is laced with, but you’re addicted. You don’t want to stop for a single second, especially not when he grabs your hips with both hands and pulls you against him properly. 
Your back arches, your chest against his now and he can feel your peaked nipples through your bikini top. He can’t help but groan, he’s been wanting to feel them against him in some capacity since he saw them through your bikini top when he lifted you onto his lap and you got cold and his head filled with filth about you. 
About how he wanted to pinch them between his fingers so you’d make that noise he loves. About how he couldn’t stop thinking about his head being back between your thighs when he spotted the bruises he’d left there. About how he wanted nothing more than to tease you in front of his friends, to see how far he could push you out of your comfort zone. And after he could feel you throbbing on his thigh he wanted nothing more than to make you cum over and over again. 
This kiss turns hard and hungry and it takes you enough by surprise that if you were standing you’d have stumbled back with the force of it. As you’re on his lap though, you can’t escape and you don’t for a second want to. Alex’s hands move your hips so you start grinding on him and both of you moan at the friction. 
You hope that the rumble of the jets hides them from anyone other than the two of you, and you pray to every god that Katie and Jamie haven’t decided to go into their hot tub as they are the room beside yours. Despite the wooden panelling hiding the balconies completely from potential neighbours, you need to keep quiet. But it’s so difficult when he’s making you feel so good. 
The more you grind against him, the more you can feel your stomach tighten with need. The way Alex is dragging you against his cock just makes you worse, your clit finally getting the friction it’s been aching for.  
Minutes pass of your whining, gasping, and mewling as he encourages you, taking handfuls of your arse to pull you towards him as he bucks his hips up into yours. His moans motivate you more, your hips now erratic in search for relief as he kisses you. 
Alex licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough of the way you taste. His groans spur you on, and his hand moving up to the middle of your waist has you arching into his chest again, and he can’t help but move his hips in time with yours, loving the little whines that escape your pretty lips. 
But he needs to hear more, so when you tug on his hair, and he bucks up into you, he bites your bottom lip when you moan so he can muffle it with his own lips. He smirks when he pulls away and he grabs your face, his thumb and index finger pressing your cheeks together as he grinds you against him again, his fingers digging into your hip ensuring it. 
The moan you let out for him then, you can’t suppress, and by the way Alex’s eyes seem to sparkle with delight shows you just how satisfied the sound makes him. Like it was intent all along to have you be loud for him.
“Do I feel good, sweet?” His voice a low whisper that has your throat bobbing.  
The singer kisses his way up your jaw before biting your earlobe, and he clearly wants an answer, “Well?” His hand falling from your cheeks to your neck and the slightest pressure has your head in pieces. 
“Mmm.” You hum in agreement pulling back enough to grab his jaw and bring his lips back up to yours. 
You refuse to let him mark your neck up again, no matter how good his lips feel on your throat. And at this point you know he’d do it just to get the both of you caught to see if you could withstand your friends teasing. 
This between you carries on for longer than it should. But that pull, that spark, between you, now ignited neither of you can get enough. 
“You like knowing you get me this hard, just from seeing the bruises I left on your thighs?” Alex rasps, as he kisses slowly down your neck. 
At this point, you think you’d do just about anything to have his lips on you or on your skin somehow. It’s addicting. So much so that you don’t remember the silly rule that you agreed upon, especially when Alex moves his hand  
“From seeing these,” Alex hums against your neck as his thumbs circling both your nipples through your bikini. “I can still feel them on my chest from the other night.”
His lips trail down your neck and the top of your chest and he kisses over your skin and his hands grab at you that bit tighter as he says, “I want my mouth all over you, sweet.”
His thumbs hook into your bikini top and he pulls both cups to the side, leaving you bare for him. His lips are on your breast in a second and the other he kneads in his calloused hand. 
Your head falls back, a moan falling freely from your lips as you grind yourself onto his cock as he sucks your nipple. Needing as much friction as you can get because you could easily finish like this if he carried on. But god, you want him inside you instead. 
Picking your head up, your fingers tug in his hair encouraging him as his right hand now grabs your arse again making you move on him. Fuck, you could cum just from this, easily if he carries on. 
He swaps to your other tit, lapping at it and savouring the sweetness of your skin and he can’t help but moan when you rut against him again. God, he just wants to have you like this forever, just free of inhibitions and completely giving into your desire. 
“Well, sweet? You like knowing what you do to me?” He teases, but he takes it a step further and he reaches between you and he presses circles onto your clit through your clothes, “That I like feeling this greedy thing throbbing on my lap for me?”
The sound you let out is guttural and completely obscene. To mute it you harshly pull his hair so you can press your lips against his to quieten yourself. But fuck knows if he even helps. 
His sweet torture continues and you feel the tension forming in your lower stomach, flames scorching your limbs, all caused by the man who’s name falls from your lips in desparate pleas, “Alex.”
His kiss is hot and heavy like a man starved, like he could never get enough of you. His hands claiming you is something promise you’ll never deny yourself the pleasure of again, those magic fucking fingers have you seeing stars. Each swipe of them against your clothed clit pushes you closer towards that delightful edge. 
“I- Al, oh.” Fuck. You’re going to finish, this is it and it’s going to shatter you entirely. 
His warm hands on you, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your own, his body heat making your nipples perk from the stimulation. And his fucking cock that you’re aching to have inside you, he’s so hard all you can think about is reaching down and moving your costume to the side so you can line him up and fill you to the br-
So consumed with your thoughts and your erratic hips chasing the orgasm you're on the verge of having you miss the singer mumble against your lips, “Okay, that’s enough.”  
You only register when Alex’s hand now holds your hip to stop you from moving and you hear him say, “Stop, sweet.”
“No,” You helplessly whine, entirely cockdrunk at this point, wanting him too badly and you kiss him deeply again. 
But Alex only entertains the kiss for another second, before he pulls away and to stop your lips from following his again, he holds your jaw, “If you keep kissing me, we’re not going to make it another minute.”
You’re so breathless you barely understand what he means. But as you take a minute to get some oxygen back into your system you realise what you’ve done and god you want to lock yourself up and throw away the key. 
“I’m sorry.” You swallow, looking away from his gaze. 
“Don’t apologise.” Alex shakes his head, and you note he’s just as out of breath as you. And he gently readjusts your bikini so it’s covering your modesty again as he says, “We agreed on your rule, sweet, don’t wanna break it on day one now, do we?”
It’s his smirk that he gives you as he says the end of that which makes you say, “You’re a bully.”
Because he’s got you all hot and bothered, only to completely edge you and use ‘your rule’ as an excuse to leave you right on the brink. God you could absolutely throttle him. But knowing Alex, he’d enjoy it, so you keep your hands to yourself. 
The singer just laughs, “You love it.” And he taps your arse under the water to prompt you to stand up so he can too. 
Jesus Christ it’s only now that you realise how perishing the cold is, you practically jump out of the tub and run for your dressing gown before heading to the door. And you’re kind enough to hold the door open for Alex as he wraps his towel around his shoulders. 
It’s only now that you gulp seeing just how little the swim shorts disguise his erection. Standing at attention is an understatement, and there’s a little spark of pride that scorches your blood knowing you’ve caused that. 
You don’t let your eyes linger, but you know from the smug smirk on his face as he walks through the door that he’s caught you looking. And the prick opens his mouth, probably to bully you once more but you beat him to it as you close and lock the balcony door. 
“You don’t care about the rule, why’d you stop when I was clearly enjoying myself?” You ask as you follow him to the door to your room. 
“Because you were dead set about not wanting to before we came.” Alex tells you sincerely, and you can’t help your heart from warming that little bit as he looks you in the eye and says, “I don’t want you regretting anything between us.” 
Swallowing down the smile you want to plaster all over your face, you tell him, “I don’t regret what just happened, for the record.”
“Good.” Alex smiles, walking the last few steps to your door. And the singer is about to open it before he pauses, turns back and tells you, “Oh, and don’t get yourself off.” 
Immediately you frown a little. It’s a miracle your words don’t come out as a scoff, “Don’t think you have that authority.” 
The smirk that comes to those pretty swollen lips and the way his eyes darken is something that needs capturing in a museum. Fucking hell it’s definitely banked away in a certain area of your mind. 
“I could just fuck you now if you’re going to do that.” Alex raises his eyebrows, and you can tell he’so putting the offer out there. 
But after him saying it’s only day one, you’re definitely not giving in now. A week without fucking him. You can do it. You just can’t fucking slip up again. How embarrassing of you to have given in to your temptations only mere hours after your holiday began. 
Alex seems to understand your thoughts entirely so he quickly saves himself from a scolding,  “Think of it as being edged instead, don’t touch yourself. It’ll make next week more fun.”
Your still fucking throbbing for him, aching isn’t even the right word for the need for relief you’re feeling. It looks like your bullet won’t be being used while you’re away after all. But if you’re showing restraint, you certainly won’t be the only one. 
You nod, the corner of your lips tugging up a little seeing Alex smile down at you and as he reaches from the door handle to let himself out, you surprise him by saying, “Don’t touch yourself either then.” 
He looks at you again, his eyes entirely full of surprise that you’ve given him an order. But he’ll do it for you. He won’t be a double standard, so he agrees.  
Although when he opens the door and takes a step out, and you tell him, “Go get a cold shower.” He loves your brattiness.  
“Could share one of those?” Alex offers as he takes a step back towards you, his eyes bright and full of mischief as he smirks down at you. 
All you can think is, And end up having a repeat of the first time you were in the shower with him? No chance. 
“See you tomorrow, Alex.” You smile, placing a hand on his bare chest and pushing him towards the door perpendicular to yours. 
Alex chuckles, blowing you a teasing kiss, “Goodnight, sweet.”
~*~*~*~ January 4th 2019 ~*~*~*~
To say that the next couple of days were positively torturous would be a massive understatement. The cold shower you had after Alex left your room that first night didn’t do much to calm you down, the ache between your thighs didn’t disappear until well into the night of you tossing and turning in bed. 
At one point you were ready to march into his room and tell him how unfair it is to leave you on edge like that, and that it was unfair because you’d be so pent up that you’d have a miserable holiday. But then you’d realise you’d see the singer's smug smirk and he’d say something along the lines of, ‘You’re so greedy that you come begging me to get you off, is that it? You can’t go even a few hours without me, can you not? You poor sweet thing.’ 
So you chose to stay warm in bed, following his direction of not getting yourself off and you eventually fall asleep. You swear though that if he got himself off and didn’t stick through this with you, you’d be absolutely fuming. 
And you can’t help but be pleased when Alex eventually joins you all for breakfast the next morning, and he made a thunderstorm look appealing. ‘In a mood’ would be an understatement. The singer looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, he hadn't even bothered with his hair, it was still dishevelled, and his glum, tired face had a smile tugging on your lips.
Good. You like knowing you’re not the only one who felt absolutely tortured.    
You had to hide your smirk by taking a drink of your orange juice, sipping it through the straw as your eyes linger on the singer who looks like he could commit a murder if his breakfast was served wrong. Clearly though, you’re not being as slick as you thought you were hiding your amusement by taking a drink because when Alex’s eyes lock with yours he sees the knowing in them. 
Instead of shying away from him though, you stare straight into his eyes and let your smirk show when you pull your drink out. You even raise your eyebrows at him entirely enthralled that he looks so much worse than you this morning. Looks like it’ll be cold showers for him for the foreseeable future.  
Alex couldn’t help but find you equally as amusing that morning at breakfast. The smile stayed on your face for the entirety of your meal and he could tell that seeing him so affected by the lack of your company had somehow boosted your confidence. So, pent up he may be, but he’d suffer in silence for as long as he needed to see that smug look on your face once more.  
Alex made sure his teasing continued throughout that day and the next. His flirting and lingering looks had you more on edge than usual thanks to the fact you felt entirely touch-starved, but you couldn’t deny that he had your heart racing. 
On the slopes he would sometimes wait for you if he wasn’t racing the boys or Flo down the mountain, to make sure you got down alright and there would be flirting when you’d stopped at the cafe’s that were half way down the slope. And he had you buy him the promised drinks that made you come on this holiday in the first place so you were happy keeping your end of that bargain. 
He really made you smile today when you had a bit of a fall on the slope. He watched you fall but he stopped right beside you and made sure you were okay before getting you back to your feet and he went down the slope as by your side as he could get. And when you both reached the bottom, he played into checking you over, being cheeky and saying he’d have to get the layers off you to make a complete and thorough check. Something which of course you rolled your eyes at but you couldn’t keep the smile from your face. 
When you walked out of your room each night dressed to go for dinner he told you how gorgeous you looked in your dress when he saw you, whether that be him stepping out of his room at the same time coincidentally or when you walked down with Katie and he was waiting for you with the other lads. Tonight was the latter and the way he looked you up and down made you feel all tingly inside.
And this evening at dinner he sat beside you and when you were waiting between courses, Alex rested his hand on your thigh, and it wasn’t at all to try and rile you, he seemed to just want to be affectionate. And Flo is right, why would you deny yourself that pleasure. 
You know you’re nowhere near a relationship, or possibly even heading into that direction. But this fun you’re having with him, it doesn’t mean you can’t take comfort from the small meaningful gestures that you’ve found that you’ve missed since your last relationship. 
So yes, you’ve adored the flirting, and matched his energy entirely by giving him back as much as good as you’ve got which grants you access to that cheeky smirk you’re starting to love being the cause of. You pretend like your heart doesn’t do something stupid when he’s affectionate and you’ll continue to act like you aren’t dying for him to touch you and kiss you and fuck you until you’re back home. 
And all of this is the reason why right now, you’re absolutely seething at yourself. Why you’re now at this bar, side-eyeing the man who’s had you at whit's end for the past few days wanting god to do you a favour and stop what you’re seeing. 
You hate it, you absolutely hate it. Seeing Alex’s hand on her hip, the way he smiles at her as she’s talking, and the way he’s making this random girl laugh. 
It’s been at least 15 minutes now since he went up to the bar to get himself another drink and left your group at the few standing tables in the corner which you’d all claimed. And when you looked over after 5 minutes of him disappearing, you saw him at the bar talking away with possibly the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. 
Intimidated isn’t even the word you could use to compare yourself to the stunning woman. She’s just everything you’re not. Clearly she's confident to speak to a stranger normally and not at 100 miles per hour because she’s nervous. She’s absolutely gorgeous with the complete opposite hair colour and style to yours, and her dress accentuates all of her features perfectly, leaving little to everyone’s imagination but she’s so gorgeous and fearlessly self assured, there’s no way you could possibly compete with a woman like her. 
Your chest sinks because it’s so easy for you to realise just how jealous of this woman you are. Not just because she holds Alex’s attention and you want that back for yourself, you’re just hit with that intimidatingly jealous feeling you’ve not experienced for such a long time. And it’s such a dirty feeling, you really judge yourself for it. 
Because you’re well aware you’re not in a relationship with the singer. Yes you’re fucking each other but he could easily call that off at any point, especially on holiday when you’ve established you’re not sleeping with each other and that will make your self esteem plummet and not to be dramatic but you’ll more than likely never put yourself out there again, and you think that is valid enough if that’s how this night ended.   
To make it worse, the ladies you’re with, your close friends can clearly see that you’re slipping into a foul mood. A few times you’ve been asked what’s wrong, and you’d have to tune back into conversations and plaster a fake smile on your face because you’ve got so stupidly in your head about all of this. 
It was only when Katie followed your gaze to the bar did she realise what was making you slip into a bad mood. On the down low, when Kirsten and Flo were having their own conversation, Katie said, “Y/N/N?” 
“Hmm?” You hum, tearing your eyes away from a laughing Alex and the stunning woman.  
You look at your best friend as she seriously asks, “What are you waiting for?” 
Immediately, you’re confused, “What?” 
Katie can’t help but laugh to herself a little as you’re being so blatantly obvious to her. And she can’t lie, she secretly loves seeing you jealous, because she’s never witnessed it before. And the mere fact you’re being silently possessive over Alex is all the more amusing to her. 
“Just go and get him.” She encourages you, seeing that you’re holding your glass of wine that little bit too tight.  
She understands that you’re probably that bit more jealous too because you are bordering on being a little bit drunk. Your tolerance is slightly better than hers and she knows that you’ve drank near enough the same amount so she’s very aware how your thoughts are probably being manipulated by the alcohol. 
“No, if he wants to play he can,” You tell her and put on a brave face, turning away from him now in an attempt to not shoot daggers at him with your eyes, “He just won’t be getting me again afterwards.”
And you mean it. You won’t get caught up in that STD mess waiting to happen. Condoms or not. It’s a no from you. 
You drink with the girls a bit more then, the other lads make you laugh too but after a few minutes you become all too aware again that there’s a missing piece. And it’s like a wound to the chest when you see he’s still there talking to that woman and they seem to be standing that little bit closer, smiles still on both of their faces. 
Something about it hurts, and not due to the fact he’s being flirted with. It mostly gets to you because he’s being so kind to someone he’s just met and you only got that side of him after a ten years and only when you called him out for his behaviour. It makes your heart sink a little, you just don’t know why he wasn’t ever this friendly toward you when you were first introduced, yet he can be so kind, smiley, and flirty to a complete stranger. 
Up until 6 months ago, Alex would barely hold a conversation with you and something about that always hurt. The effort you’d make only for it to go unreciprocated when he probably knew how much it took for you to not be socially awkward around him. It’s a blow to your chest and to your ego. 
And to make it worst, he’s flirting with this girl as if you haven’t been fucking each other for a month and he didn’t almost fuck you in the hot tub the other night. As if the bruises he left on your thighs aren’t still very prominent and he didn’t edge you, leaving you craving every little bit of him for the last two days. And now he’s flirting with someone that isn’t you. 
And you can’t even blame the woman for flirting with him. He looks impeccable this evening. He’s in a black suit with a black shirt and he looks incredible. Like you’d do just about anything for him to pull you aside in this darkened bar and for him to whisper filthy promises in your ear before his lips find yours and he takes your breath away all over again. 
But you’re not so lucky. And your mood worsens when you see the bartender come back with two drinks in his hands and he places them in front of the pair. But it’s when Alex gets his card out and seemingly pays for both does your heart drop. 
Has he just fucking bought her a drink?
You blink a few times and force yourself to look away. The feeling that’s settled in your stomach not being one that you want to ever be feeling. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and you wish it wasn’t running through your veins right now so you try and breath through it, letting the thoughts pass you by as quickly as they come.  
The people that know you best though, can see you’ve sort of checked out from the conversations surrounding you, and you’re staring out of the window at the snow that’s beginning to gently fall. Your best friend knows it’s not the same zoned out as you were awestruck when you first arrived on this holiday though, it’s due to you being in your head because of the man at the bar. 
And it seems Katie isn’t the only one, because Flo asks Mrs Cook quietly, “Should I go tell him?”
Katie notes that she nods over towards the bar, but your best friend immediately shakes her head.  
“No,” She tells her, “Let him dig his own grave.”
Because after everything last year, she wants Alex to prove himself worthy of having her best friend. She knows you deserve something good, and despite being 99% sure that Alex is just being polite to a fan at the bar, she wants him to prove that he wouldn’t ruin this good thing that you both have going for the sake of another woman who could pass as a model.  
So Katie distracts you, getting another glass of wine down you is easy to do and she has you giggling with her and Flo again. 
While you adore your friends for their distraction tactics, Alex and the stunning woman linger in your mind, and you feel like you need a second to quieten those intrusive thoughts. So you head to the toilet in hopes to clear your head but when you hold the sink and look at your reflection the clarity that hits you is that you’re drunk and probably (most definitely) overreacting, and you just find yourself wanting to close your eyes. 
So that’s why when you make your way back to your friends, who Alex is still not with, you decide your night is done. 
“Guys, I’m going to head back.” You tell all of them, “The wine has gone to my head and I’m so tired after today.”
Each and every one of their faces fall and they all start a little bit of a commotion, shaking their heads and shout over each other drunkenly pleading with you not to go. But it’s a singer who is the one that complains the loudest. 
“Noooo come on, Y/N/N.” Miles throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he says, “Party with us.”
You smile at him but there’s no way you’ll be giving in. You need your bed. And to get away from Alex and the stunning woman taking all of his attention at the bar. 
“Miles, you saw the fall I had earlier today,” You almost wince at the memory, “I’m knackered and just wanna get in bed so I’m good again tomorrow.”
“I’ll walk you back.” Jamie offers but immediately you shake your head, having none of it. 
“No, you’re having a great time, stay out. Have fun.” You smile, giving him a look to say ‘do not put on your coat’ as you put on your own. 
You’ll be perfectly fine getting back by yourself, everywhere is lit well enough to make the 5 minute walk back feel safe. And you could certainly use the time to clear your head. 
So you just smirk, wrapping your coat around you and downing the last of your white wine. And you grin, “I'll see you all hungover for breakfast in the morning.”
They all laugh at your little joke, knowing it’ll more than likely come to fruition, before they pull you into hugs goodbye. Flo, you realise, gives the best hugs out in the group, and she holds you tightly as she whispers in your ear, “Are you sure?”
You don’t hesitate to nod, “Positive.” 
She pouts a little as you pull away from the hug but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her to have another drink for you which makes her giggle and she promises she will. And then the only person left over here you have to hug is your very drunk best friend, and Katie all but smothers you with her bear hug. 
God you adore your best friend so much. Or you do until she easily reads between the lines and questions your actions. 
“This isn’t to do with Alex, is it?” She asks, pouting like she’s both angry and upset, “Because you can’t let him spoil your fun.”
You hate that she knows you so well, but wanting to go back to your hotel room is only marginally to do with Alex at this point. You know if you drank anymore tonight you’d be worse for wear tomorrow and you don’t want to ruin this precious holiday by staying in your room wanting to throw up. 
“No, I'm just tired.” You lie, trying not to even think about the fact that Alex not really giving you any attention and flirting with another girl was what triggered your bad mood in the first place. You tell her, “I just wanna get some sleep.”
“Okay queen.” Katie nods before she pulls back and she looks into your eyes to seriously tell you, “Text me as soon as you get back to the hotel, okay?”
“I will.” You promise her and after she gives you another hug, you turn to leave. 
You avoid looking anywhere near the bar even though you have to pass it to leave, but you’re quick and you leave out of the side doors and make it down the stairs fairly quickly. The automatic doors expose you to the cold air quickly and you’re so thankful you chose your long, navy dress this evening, even if you were regretting the slit in it that comes up to just above your knee when the wind hits you.  
Thankfully, your ‘going out coat’ is a long one, coming down to just past your knees, and would retain most of your body heat, so as you walk towards the doors you start to slowly button it up. But your buttons aren’t cooperating, they won't go through the bloody buttonhole. Clearly nothing wants to go right for you this evening.
And you end up not paying attention to where you’re going as you walk out of the bar, you don’t realise that the smoking areas out front has gotten busier so you end up turning to head back to your hotel and you bump into someone at quite a little bit of force. Immediately, you end up almost slipping too, not realising that the ground has become slippy too thanks to the fresh snow landing and melting. But before you fall arse over tit, you're saved by your own victim. The poor man you bumped into.  
“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You say as you grab onto his tattooed arm that stabled you. 
And it’s only when you’re sure you’re steady on your feet do you look at the exquisite man. A gasp almost leaves your mouth at just how attractive he is. The strong jawline, the short black hair, the sun kissed skin, and possibly the most stunning eyes you’ve ever seen in your entire life. They are such a gorgeous shade of blue they almost look purple, and God, you half wish you could stare into them all night.  
“No worries,” The man holding your arm says, and once he’s satisfied you can stand properly again, his eyes drop to take you in. 
It makes you feel like your heart is in your throat for the two seconds he checks you out, but under the stare of those gorgeous eyes, it feels like it lasts an age. You can’t help watching as a small smirk forms on his lips, clearly pleased with what he sees and when his eyes meet yours again, you feel like your knees could fall from under you again if he wasn’t still holding you up. He’s dream worthy.
His fingers move down your wrist and he gently comes to squeeze your hand as he smirks but endearingly says, “Careful darling.” 
Immediately, the pet name makes you flush, and under his gaze you feel like you’re vibrating somehow, and you realise just how badly you need to get yourself back to your hotel. So to not make a fool out of yourself again, you cut the situation short.
“Thank you.” You give him a gracious smile and a small nod of your head before turning towards your hotel and safely begin to rush off. 
In your peripherals, you see the two other men that the stunning man was accompanied by and you’re glad you didn’t interact with them too, because they look just as attractive as their friend. You’d surely crumble under their gazes and start awkwardly chatting their ears off so you’re pleased to get away from both them and that bar. 
At least this gives your drunk mind a quick distraction from wondering what Alex and that girl are currently up to. You try not to think about how cosy they might have got or if either of them have made a move. No, you’d rather think about your embarrassing encounter with a model worthy guy who then checked you out and you said thank you to him. 
Thank you? God, you’re so fucking stupid for saying thank you Y/N/N, that doesn’t even make sense. Thank you for me bumping into you and being so kind about it? What was the thank you for? Silly bitch. 
God you really need to get to sleep. Your brain is absolutely spinning. 
Instead you find yourself focussing on the crunch of snow under your boots, how you can see your breath in front of you. And the gentle light coming from the lampposts illuminates the snow that’s slowly falling from the sky and you can’t help but think that it’s so beautiful despite it being so cold. 
Finally you manage to do up the buttons of your coat and your hands are stuffed in your pockets as you carry on walking. But it’s only a few seconds later, you hear your name being shouted behind you. You think you’re hearing things so you don’t stop walking, but then you hear someone running behind you and a gentle call of, “Sweet.” As he begins to slow down. 
Alex is out of breath by the time he’s beside you, and a gentle hand on your arm stops you from walking. A mixture of emotions runs through you in that moment, happy that he’s not with that girl anymore is certainly one of them, but annoyance at him for him even flirting with someone else hits you all over again. 
And it just makes your mood worse, because you absolutely despise being jealous. You hate it. You hate the tightness in your chest and you hate the way you start to second guess everything. And you don’t think you should be second guessing if you’re good enough.  
But you keep all of that to yourself, not wanting to annoy Alex or appear jealous or be overbearing. You’re just drunk and you need to get over yourself. 
“Sweet.” Alex says a little out of breath, “What’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing.” You say more flatly than you meant to and turn to carry on walking to the hotel. 
You’d scorn yourself for it, but you’re glad Alex doesn’t pick up on your tone. He just follows after you, falling into step as he asks, “Why are you leaving so early?”
“It’s almost one Alex,” You tell him, “I’m tired.”
You’re certainly not telling him that he’s a part of the reason you’re leaving. Even if he has finally given someone else the time of day for a brief minute tonight.  
Trying not to focus on the mixed emotions cursing through you, you end up telling the singer, “You don’t have to walk me back, go back to the bar.”
“And let you walk back on your own at one in the morning?” Alex frowns down at you,  “I don’t think so.”
You shake your head slightly at that, knowing he’s just doing that because of the story you told him about how you don’t like to walk alone at night. But you don’t want him here solely because of that. “I don’t need your pity.”
“There’s no pity, I’m just not a dickhead, sweet.” Alex’s smile then turns into a smirk as he throws his arm around your shoulders and he pulls you against him, “Now let me keep you warm.”
Your chest feels lighter somehow at his actions, and it makes you feel all gooey and smiley inside. But your brain is telling you to keep a hard exterior after what you witnessed tonight, so you try and brush him off, “Al, I’m fine.”
But the singer is having none of it. He just holds you tighter teases, “You’re moody.” 
“I’m tired.” You correct him, even though you’re lying through your teeth. 
“With your little rule, I thought you would have been reserving more energy.” Alex smirks, not being able to pass on the opportunity to torture you that little bit more. 
You don’t mute your scoff at that, and decide that silence is what he deserves after that comment and him flirting with someone else all evening. And it hits you all over again how up until a few months ago you’d only get silence and sneers from him, but that woman at the bar instantly got smiles and flirting. It makes you want to push his arm off your shoulder and you fall silent again. 
It’s confusing. Wanting to scold him but then also lean into him and accept the joy the simple pleasure of him hugging you brings you. And you’re feeling it all at once. You don’t understand it and don’t really know how to process it. 
Sleep. You need sleep. 
With his free hand, Alex digs into his coat pocket and pulls out his gloves, noticing you’re shivering, “Here take these.” 
“Thank you.” You accept them quietly and graciously and don’t waste much time putting them on, even if they are too big for you. 
Alex smiles once you have them on, and he squeezes your shoulder that bit tighter as he grins, “They suit you.” 
“Bit big, but I'll take it.” You shrug a little, and give him a bit of a smile so you don’t look like a colossal bitch. It was a kind gesture after all. 
Alex grins back down, his eyes bright as he says with a knowing look, “Well, you know what they say about big hands, sweet.”
Holding your own smile back, you fake a roll of your eyes and look away from him, “You’re not funny.”
“What?” Alex asks, faking innocence but smirking, “Just big gloves, nothing untoward.” 
You share an amused look then, both looking into each other's eyes and knowing for certain that was not what he was meaning. In those few seconds though, you can’t help but notice how gorgeous he looks, with the snow falling down around him, a few flakes having found home in his hair and he just looks so pretty and happy. 
You always want to look at him and see that cheeky smile looking back down at you. It makes you feel all warm inside.  
But then that crude sense of humour has to go and ruin the moment. 
“Anyway,” He smirks, “You already know how big I am. I don't think I need to remind you just yet.”
The way your cheeks heat up immediately is almost as embarrassing as the way your gaze snaps away from his. You just try to act nonchalant about it, shaking your head, “Way to lower the tone.”
“I think it was your dirty mind that lowered the tone, sweet.” Alex laughs and he has you giggling along with him. 
It doesn’t take long to get back to the hotel, and you walk in a comfortable silence with your head finally not filled with everything to do with the bar. You just enjoy having his attention back, and that he keeps pulling you back into him, and rubbing the top of your arm in an effort to keep you warm. 
You expect the singer to walk you into the lobby and bid you goodnight there before he heads back out to your other friends. But he surprises you, stepping into the lift with you and even when you’re going up to your floor he keeps his arm around you like he doesn’t want to let you go.  
“Thank you for walking me back, you really didn’t have to.” You tell him after he walks you to your door and you get your keycard out of your pocket. 
Only when you look at him again does he tell you, “Stop thanking me for being a decent human being.”
You smile at him for a second there, and it is a truly grateful one. Despite everything tonight, you really are thankful he came back with you. If not for your safety, but then at least for your peace of mind about what he was up to when you left. Your chest fills with the hatred of the jealousy you’re feeling once more. 
But it’s like the man looking at you can somehow read your emotions. Because he once again flips them on their head when he takes you in again and sees how gorgeous you look in that navy dress and the way it hugs you. 
He seems a little breathless as he says, “You really do look incredible tonight by the way.” 
You look down at yourself, really not thinking you looked anything more than presentable tonight. But two men have checked you out this evening and seemed pleased with what they saw, and you know Alex well enough now to know that he doesn’t just say these things, he actually means them. 
“I- Thank you.” You stumble for a second, but gladly take the compliment. 
As you turn to open your door, Alex takes a step towards his, which makes you frown. He’s going to bed?
“You can go back out, you know?” You say before he even takes another step. 
You don’t really understand why he’d be going to his room when he could go back out and have a good time with either your friends or the stunning woman he was chatting to. Surely he didn’t just leave because you did?
Alex shrugs, and takes a step back towards you, “Don’t want to.”
“Why?” You can’t help but question, “Looked like you were having a good time.”
“Not that good, I wasn’t spending it with you.” Alex shamelessly flirts as he comes to stand right beside you again, hoping to see you get all flustered. 
He adores being the cause of it, and he even likes when you run your mouth back at him and flirt with him too. It makes him happier than he should admit to himself at this point in your little arrangement. But you shock him completely and don’t do either of those things.
No, instead Alex watches as you tense slightly and you become ridged. The smile falling from your face entirely. 
“You knew where I was.” You shrug, not knowing what more you could have done. It’s not like you could go up to him and demand his attention, or steal him away and he figures out why and he teases you for it.  
You just turn back towards your door and mumble under your breath as you put the card in, “Besides, it seems that you found her quite interesting.” 
This has Alex smirking, possibly the biggest he ever has. Not that you can see that smirk as you’re still fumbling about with your keycard and putting it in the door the wrong way. So it gives him a little time to compose himself enough that you won’t hate him when he gets you to look at him again. 
You’re jealous. Hence the mood, short replies, and the pout that was just seeping onto your face… It all makes perfect sense now. 
Alex tones his smirk down into a slight grin before he get your attention again, “Sweet?” 
“What?” You ask, just about managing to open your door before you turn back to him. 
And it’s only when you do, you see the way he’s looking at you. His amusement is clear to see, but he doesn’t say anything. He just takes a step close to you, and before you really know it his lips are on yours and he gently eases you backwards until your back is against the heavy door you’ve not opened more than an inch. 
It’s a sweet kiss, full of longing and care and words you’ve both yet to say. And the way he gently holds your waist, pulling you against him now, his arm running inside your coat and around your back so he can press you fully against him as his lips move in sync with yours. His hand on your jaw moves that bit higher, so his thumb can caress your cheek and you think this might be the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared.
It’s gentle and full of emotion, even when his tongue finds home with yours. It makes the both of you hot despite both of your lips softly moving together. Something about it runs deeper, like he’s trying to tell you something without explicitly coming out with it. 
His hold on your waist gets that bit tighter which has you melting into him. Unable to stop yourself, you also let out a tiny hum of bliss against his lips and you hold his coat in your fist that bit tighter. This is what you’ve been after all night. This is what you’ve been craving. Him and every last bit of him. 
Even when the kiss comes to its natural end, you wish it wasn’t finished. And you’re glad that it doesn’t seem to be. But the man who makes your heart skip a beat says something you really aren’t expecting. 
“I’m only interested in sleeping with you.” Alex tells you, before he leaves you with one last breathless kiss. 
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: What did you think?!?!? NRIACC bestiesssss!! How was it seeing Wheels again?! She's my multiverse I had to hahaha! But how bloody cute are Sweet and Alex, god I adore them so so much. Until next time besties x
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foxigemini · 10 months
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Bound For Life - Chapter 3
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Pairing: OC!Orc x Human Female Reader
Story summary: Your life is nothing exciting. Until one day when you encounter a creature in the forest and your life is changed forever.
Chapter summary: You submit to fate and let your new mate claim you.
Chapter Warnings: Nsfw, Smut, Size difference, Size kink, Unprotected sex.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4
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You were still trying to process what was happening when Tarod removed his loincloth. Your gaze lowered, your eyes widening at the sight of the massive member dangling between his thick, muscular thighs, and you hated how your pussy clenched in response. How on earth would he ever fit inside you?
"Undress for me, little lamb," Tarod ordered in his deep, guttural voice.
Pulse drumming in your ears, you flickered your eyes over to Yolmar, who looked like a wounded animal as he looked back at you with guilt-ridden eyes.
"Don't look at him, human. Look at me. He can watch me claim you and once I'm done, he's free to join us. But for now, you're only mine."
A wave of heat rushed through your core at his words, at the thought of having both these enormous orcs inside you at the same time. You glanced at Yolmar again who gave you a quick nod, and you thought you saw a spark of interest in his eyes. Would he enjoy seeing you get fucked by another orc? The thought of him watching was strangely enough arousing for you.
Wetting your lips, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath to calm your nerves. What choice did you have but to obey? This huge monster could kill you with a simple snap of his fingers around your neck. Opening your eyes, you held your gaze on the floor as you started untying your girdle with trembling fingers, too anxious to meet his eyes.
Tarod smirked and sat down on his throne, his icy blue eyes watching your every movement as you undressed and revealed your naked body. His dick twitched at the sight of your soft and tempting form.
"Come to me."
Tarod watched amused as you approached him with flushed cheeks. So innocent you appeared, so fragile and small. Tarod had always found the muscular features of the female orcs attractive, but there was something about having such a delicate little thing that aroused him beyond anything he'd ever felt before.
"Look at me."
Your pulse quickened at his voice, and you swallowed hard as you halted at his feet. You lifted your gaze, your eyes widening at seeing his hard, throbbing member. Oh, dear lord...He must be close to the size of your lower arm...Your heart started beating faster, sending another wave of arousal through your core at the thought of him inside you, stretching you out and pleasuring you in places you'd never been pleasured before.
Tarod chuckled lowly. "Touch me, human. I know you want to. I can smell your arousal."
Licking your lips nervously, you looked up into Tarod's eyes, and a bolt of electric spark surged through you. For the first time you felt the same connection you felt with Yolmar when you met him, how easy it had been to give yourself to him.
As if your body was moving on its own, you lifted your hand and wrapped your delicate hand around his meaty cock, your fingers barely reaching around its thickness. Tarod grunted, and his dick jerked in your hand. Your pussy clenched in response, pulsating with need to have him inside you. Slowly, you started moving your hand, amazed by his size as he grew even bigger in your hand. A trail of bulging veins appeared on his length, and the bulbous head was aggressively reddish. Fuck, this was the most glorious cock you'd ever seen. Flooded with newfound confidence, you bent down and flicked your tongue across the slit of the head, earning a breathy growl from Tarod. Encouraged by his noises, you lowered your head and wrapped your lips around the head of his cock. Slowly, you started bobbing your head, sliding your lips up and down his length. With each bob, you took more and more of him into your mouth until you started to gag.
"What a good, little mate you've found for us, Yolmar," Tarod grunted and grabbed your head, his huge hand covering your entire scalp as he pressed you down on his cock and bucked his hips against your face. You choked and spluttered as his length pushed down your throat. Tarod growled and released the grip on your head, allowing you to breathe. Gasping for air, you stared up at Tarod and glanced over at Yolmar. A pang of heat rushed through your belly when you saw the cock in his hand, his yellow eyes focused on you as he stroked himself.
Tarod wrapped his calloused hand around your throat and forced you to look at him. You gasped and stared up at him with big eyes and a wicked grin spread across his face.
"See how much he enjoys seeing his mate's mouth wrapped around another orc's cock? I bet he's gonna love seeing me ravage you."
"Please...," you whimpered, squeezing your thighs together to lighten the throbbing arousal.
"What's that?" Tarod snickered and lowered his hand down between your legs, slipping his long finger through your wet folds and into your soaked pussy. You gasped and grabbed his massive arm, moaning with pleasure at finally having something inside your aching core. Tarod growled at the sensation of your spongy flesh gripping his finger and the sloppy noises your pussy was making as he moved his finger inside you.
"You're absolutely drenched. You want me inside you, little one?"
"Y-Yes, please...," you mewled, nearly sobbing as you desperately rode his finger.
Tarod chuckled and pulled out his finger. Wrapping his hands around your waist, he lifted you up on his lap like you weighed nothing.
"I'm gonna let you start, little lamb, let you adjust to my size."
You nodded, your face flushed with arousal as you lowered yourself onto his cock. Slowly, the round head slid between your folds, and you bit your lip as you sank your body lower. You gasped when your pussy stretched and gaped for him, and the head finally pushed inside with a pop. A surge of pleasure went through your core, and a tiny moan escaped your lips. Oh fuck, he was so incredibly big.
Tarod grunted as he felt your tight cunt around the head of his cock, struggling to keep himself from slamming into you. He needed to be patient, and let you adjust to him first. Then, he could pound this tight, little pussy all he wanted.
You held onto his muscular shoulders as you slowly moved on top of him. With each bounce of your hips, you sank deeper and deeper. Your pussy stretched around his length, more than you ever thought possible, as more and more of his cock pushed inside you. You gasped and stared down at the bulge on your belly, amazed that your body could adapt so easily to him. Biting down on your bottom lip, you gripped his shoulders tighter as you started moving. Lifting your hips slowly, you moaned softly, feeling every inch of his cock move against your inner walls as you sank down on him again. Tarod grabbed your hips as you started to move at a gentle, steady pace, gradually adjusting to his size. Slowly, a hot, swirling sensation started to build up in your core, and you began to ride him faster, chasing that overwhelming feeling mounting in your core. Then, suddenly, Tarod made the slightest upwards movement with his hips, and a spike of sudden pleasure went through your core. You cried out as the warm sensation spread through your body like a wildfire. Your entire body jerked and twitched as your orgasm rippled through your body, and your head became a cloudy mess from the overwhelming sensations flowing through you.
"Fuck!" Tarod growled, his cock twitching at the feeling of your pussy gripping him so tightly. This was it. He couldn't hold back anymore. Holding you in a firm grip, he stood up and turned you around, placing you on your hands and knees on the floor.
Your blurry mind was abruptly woken by Tarod's cock plunging into you from behind. Back arching and eyes widening, you looked at him over your shoulder, at the erotic sight of him crouching above you and pounding his enormous member into your now gaping, soppy count. You caught something in the corner of your eyes and suddenly remembered Yolmar was there, the sight he was giving you sending another wave of pleasure through your belly. He was still stroking himself, his pace faster now, matching the pace of Tarod's hips. Yolmar's mouth was half open, his chest heaving rapidly with breathy moans as he watched Tarod's cock plunge in and out of your pussy.
All of these impressions flooding your body and mind were too overwhelming, and you couldn’t control your body anymore as another gush of pleasure swept through your body. Throwing your head back, you pressed your ass back against Tarod's hips, rutting against him erratically as your orgasm rolled like waves through your body.
Tarod growled and threw his head back at the feeling of your fluttering, clenching walls gripping his cock. He slammed into you one last time, his cock swelling and throbbing as spurts of his thick cum released into your cunt. Your eyes landed on Yolmar just as he came, and a fountain of white semen erupted from his cock and landed on the floor. You mewled softly at the sight, your pussy gently clenching around Tarod's cock still lodged inside you as your body relaxed in post-orgasmic bliss.
"Come here," Tarod boomed and lifted you up, cradling you on his lap as he sat down on his throne. "You took me so well, little lamb. Now, rest before we both take you and make you our mate."
You smiled tiredly, barely registering his words as his warm cum seeped out of you and sleep claimed your body.
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auteurdelabre · 5 months
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Something to Fight For (SERIES) Part 11
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Word Count: 7.0
Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no age or physical descriptions)
WARNINGS: Sexual innuendo, sad angsty shit.
A/N: The story is gonna twist and turn and you may want to jump ship. But I hope you can trust that as your captain I’m gonna get our two leads to a safe and happy shore.
Being with Tess is easy. 
She likes the same movies as Joel, drinks the same beer, and has a kid the same age. She hates sardines and black and white movies. She's a nurse, so nothing much fazes her. She fits well with Joel.
Sarah and Daniel don't know Joel and Tess are dating. As far as the kids know it's just play dates more often and the occasional dinner.  
Tess has every other weekend free. Daniel goes to visit his dad then, plus half the summer. On those weekends Tess comes over after Sarah is asleep. She stays the night in Joel's bed and leaves before Sarah wakes up. She's aggressive in bed which is a nice change of pace for Joel. 
She tells Joel everything. What she loves about her job, her hopes and aspirations. She confides in him when she's anxious about Daniel being at his dad's. There's nothing hidden, nothing secreted away.
It's only been a few weeks but Joel likes it. It feels comfortable. He doesn't worry that Tess will stop calling. He doesn't worry that Sarah is getting too attached.
He just exists in it. 
And if he thinks about you sometimes so what? If he stands in the shower, water running down his back in rivulets as he thrusts into his fists and comes holding in the moan of your name, so what? 
It doesn't mean anything. 
But then last night. The horrible thing he said to you. The way you'd looked at him with such disgust in your features.
"I'm not her mother"
"Damn right you're not."
He wakes the next morning with a stone in his stomach. His bed is full of Tess and her sweet smelling hair and her sleepy smile when she rolls over. But he can't smile back. He can't do anything because he's hurt you. He hurt you in a way that wasn't fair. And you're mad at him and why shouldn't you be? He had so many ways of approaching it, so many ways he could have told you and instead he fell back into what he always finds familiar; irritation and anger. Those emotions are safe, those emotions keep him strong.
But then why does he feel so weak right now?
He wants to phone you but knows how that went the last time.
He presses an absent kiss to Tess' temple as she leaves at dawns first light.
Then he rolls over, curling into himself, hating every moment of the last twenty four hours.
But mostly, he hates himself.
////
"YOU'RE FUCKING ENGAGED!"
"I'M FUCKING ENGAGED!"
You and Maria are jumping up and down in her kitchen, holding hands and giggling like you're teenagers again. She keeps spinning and holding her hand up to look at it.
"Isn't the ring perfect?"
"More than perfect!"
“I didn’t see it coming at all,” Maria enthuses. “I still can’t believe it.”
Your face is hurting from all your smiling. Seeing Maria so elated, so over the moon is making your heart expand bigger and bigger. 
"We're gonna do a little engagement dinner in a few weeks," Maria tells you. "With our best man and maid of honor!"
You do a little mock bow. The wedding is going to be a quick one. Maria and Tommy have never been over the top wedding people. Just something simple with family and a few friends in a few months. You know that this will mean more time with Joel and to your credit you don't wince or act horrified when Maria mentions about you and Joel being in the wedding party. You smile and hug her and say that you can't wait.
But memories of that last conversation you had with Joel are seared into your brain.
And while everything in you commands you to run and hide from the conflict, you raised the phone to your ear later that night, breathing shakily. 
You're not losing Sarah. 
You may have lost Joel in all this bullshit, but you're not losing Sarah. 
Your hand is trembling so severely you hit the wrong buttons on your phone and have to redial. 
"Hello."
"Joel, we need to talk. I know you're busy so I'll keep it brief," you say trying to quell the panic creeping into your voice at his flat greeting. "It's about the other night."
There's a long sigh.
"It was fucking horrible of me to say. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I tossed the money at you like that, like some fucking asshole.” You can hear him and he’s pacing, the familiar creak of his kitchen floor sounding over the phone. “I’ve been thinking about it since you left last night and I’m fucking sick about it. I just. . . I wanted to call but I thought you’d want me to leave you alone and I just. . . I'm so fucking sorry, please forgive me.”
He trails off and you stare at your phone. You weren’t expecting that. You think you’d been ready for him to be more defensive. So it throws you, causing you to speak stilted and stumble over your words.
"W-well, It’s just… I just wanted. . . yeah, I forgive you. I wanted to say that I'm sorry."
You can hear the delay in his response, the surprise in his voice. "Wait… You're apologizing to me?"
"Yeah," you nod even though he can't see it. "I mean at first I was really pissed off. And I still am about some stuff.  But, then, I thought about it and I think I can see why you were upset. I didn't talk to you or Sarah the whole time I was gone."
Joel gives a small hum in response.
“It was wrong of me to do that.”
And suddenly you can't speak because now there’s a knot in your throat that you're having trouble swallowing through. You hear him moving back and you imagine that he's moved to sit on his sofa. The silence stretches on to an uncomfortable length and you hear Joel clear his throat.
“S'okay if I say something?”
You choke out a sound of agreement.
"Michelle said she'd always love Sarah," Joel says in a voice of quiet solemnity. "But if that were the case it wouldn't have been so easy for her to leave."
You find your voice at that. "That was different, Joel."
"Not to Sarah. You know how she is about her Mom. She barely knew her and she’s still devastated about it. The photos, the stories help but there will always be that missing piece in her that I can’t fix.” His voice catches before steadying.  “It's easy for some people to say they love a person. It's the sticking around that's hard."
"I know."
"And I know you say you had your reasons and I know you never would do anything to hurt Sarah on purpose but the fact of the matter is you did." Joel sounds like he's taking a shuddering breath. "You know she asked me why you hadn't come around? When I told her I didn't know she asked if you were mad at her." 
Sarah had thought you were mad at her? You could not feel worse if you tried. You take a steadying breath, your eyes slamming shut.
"I'm sorry," you say, your throat tight. "I'm so fucking sorry."
Now the tears come, soft and silent. You're so thankful Joel can't see them over the phone. You can hear him sigh gently and it's the sigh of a man whose walls are coming down.
"I know," Joel says soothingly and if he were there with you, you just know he’d be holding you in his arms. "I know you are. And I'm sorry too. It was a knee-jerk reaction.  Its just she's my kid and hearing you say you love her was terrifying. All I could think was how heartbroken she’d be when you never came back."
"I understand."
You hadn't wanted to talk about this. Hadn't wanted to bring up the horrible trip back to Chicago. But you can feel Joel slipping away from you and you panic. 
"If you give me a chance I'll explain what happened when I was gone. I'll tell you everything."
Pathetic hope flares in you. If you explain maybe there's hope. Maybe he'll --
"I don't want you to do that. Don't want you feeling like you have to talk about something that'll upset you.”
“You wanted to know,” you say with a panic in your chest.
“But there's no real point, is there? Doesn't change anything," Joel murmurs. "What's done is done n' I'm with Tess now. I don't want you dragging stuff up that'll make things hard. I don't want you hurtin'.”
Don't you fucking sniffle.
"Right, yeah," you answer him through tightly closed eyes. "Of course."
Don't let him hear you cry.
He's with Tess. There's no confusion there, no wiggle room. You dig your fingernails into your palm to keep from crying, leaving tiny crescent moons in the flesh of your hand
"Just know that I'll always be there for Sarah," you swear this oath ardently. "As long as she needs me, I'll be there. I know you don't trust that right now and that's okay, I don't blame you. If I was her parent I'd probably feel exactly the same. But I need you to know that I mean it. I love her, I really do. I wasn't lying about that."
Joel is silent and you can imagine him looking off into the distance in that silent, introspective way of his. 
“You mean a lot to Sarah and to me too. Even if we can’t be together like I thought, you mean something to me. I don’t want you gone from our lives. You asked if we could be friends and . . .” You hear him inhale sharply. “I wanna give it a shot.”
Is this what heartbreak feels like? This searing pain that goes through a person’s sternum? It sure as fuck feels like it. More acute that anything you felt with Paul, stronger despite the shorter time frame you’ve had with Joel. Well, you had nothing with Joel did you? Not even a day.
"I want that too. I know what it's like to feel abandoned by people you care about," you offer, your fingernails digging into your palm further. "I would never want to do that to Sarah."
"I know that," Joel assures,  and his voice holds all the warmth of the world. "I know you never meant to hurt her. And again I’m sorry for what I said; it was a horrible fucking thing to say and I didn’t mean it."
All you want is to be there in that house in his arms.
"I'm sorry too. I really am. I hope one day you and Sarah can forgive me."
"Forgiveness was never the issue," Joel replies softly. "You had that the minute you asked for it. It's the forgetting that's hard."
"Yeah."
The forgetting.
///
Time has a funny way of making you remember. 
You thought you'd never see him again. 
Never see the way his black hair falls into his blue eyes. Never see the shy way his mouth quirks when you say something funny. 
And yet here you are at a nearby coffee shop talking to Paul. Paul, the man who broke your heart.
He looks better than you remember. He finally got a better haircut. He seems calmer than before as well, his lithe body leaning back in the chair regarding you as the cafe bustles around you.
You've just finished telling him about the sanctuary and he responded in exactly the way you wanted, with a kind of truthful enthusiasm that made you fall for him in the first place. 
"That's amazing," he enthuses shaking his head in disbelief. "Scratch that, you're amazing. Look at how much you've done for that place."
"Not just me," you insist, feeling guilty about taking all the credit. 
"Ah yes," Paul takes a sip of his coffee. "How is James?"
"Alex, actually. James resigned."
"Oh wow," Paul looks shocked by this. You consider talking to him about James being a big booger sugar fan but then decide against it.  But you do tell him about getting kennels built and how your office has been renovated.
Paul has always had this ability to make you feel like the most fascinating person on the planet. When you talk he really listens. 
You've missed that. 
When his face grow sober and he puts the mug next to yours on the table, you immediately tense. Paul means across the table, his hand clutching yours. You note this with passivity. 
"I'm so sorry for what happened. Your mom told me."
"How?"
"She called me." Paul is tilting his head slightly, a habit that always reminds you of the dogs you see at work. 
"Why would you be in contact with my mom?"
"We talk sometimes."
"You do?"
"Of course," Paul replies softly. "Until this most recent one, you weren't returning any of my texts and I was worried. I wanted to check up on you."
Irritation goes through your veins like a drug. You pull your hand back from his, wrapping it around your mug. 
"You broke up with me, Paul, remember? Why would I be responding to your texts?"
"Because it's not like we broke up because we stopped loving each other," Paul insists. "We just wanted different things at different times."
You lapse into silence, considering this. He's not completely wrong, you surmise. For you, it had been the bitter end of a relationship, for Paul. It seems it was simply a pause. 
"I told you I'd always love you," Paul continues. "And I meant it."
"You also told me we were drifting apart."
"its how I felt at the time," Paul answers honestly. His eyes trace your face in a way that feels tender. “I wanted to go on tour, I wanted to bring music to people. You used to want that too.”
“Yeah, well,” you clear your throat, moving back in your chair and shrugging. “Things change. I changed.”
“I know something about change,” Paul offers with a shy smile. "I got a job teaching music. Doesn't pay a ton but it's reliable."
This shocks you. Paul had been so dedicated to his music, so invested in making it his everyday reality by touring all over. 
"What about Jack and the band?"
"Weekends," Paul shrugs. "A hobby."
You’re gobsmacked. A year ago you had needed to split up because of Paul’s unwavering belief that touring with Jack was what needed to happen. That he would live the rest of his life unfulfilled if he didn’t.
And now he sitting here across from you, offering himself up as the exact man you wanted him to be?
Timing is everything.
Fucking timing.
"A lot has changed in a year," you say coolly.
"A year without you has felt longer," Paul confides. "Thought I knew what I wanted. But playing music and touring? It's not the same when you don't have your person to come home to."
You hate the way your treacherous heart lurches at that. Your bruised heart you’ve tried to mend. 
"I missed you, baby."
You feel all the hurt from the past few weeks with Joel heavy on your heart. The realization that yet another relationship didn't work out for you.  The thought that maybe there’s a reason things never work and maybe it has everything to do with you and being unlovable.
"I missed you too, Paul." 
And it's true, you did miss Paul. You'd loved Paul for so long. And even though that love is buried you think that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for revival if it’s cared for and nurtured.
You talk for a long time. You talk about what it would mean to be back together. You talk about your fears and what it would look like to be a couple again. You talk until the woman who runs the cafe politely tells you to leave. 
Paul wants you, even after everything. Paul is here, not Joel. It will never again be Joel. 
So later that night when Paul gently guides your mouth to his you let him. You let him hold you and kiss you and you think that this is all you can hope for. 
This is all you deserve. 
///
You and Maria pull into the parking lot of the restaurant to celebrate the engagement. You're thankful it's not the shitty Italian place you had your first 'date' with Joel.  This place is more casual with a pub-like ambiance. Despite this, you've dressed up a bit. Done your hair nicely and pressed perfume to your neck. 
Maria thinks you're all done up for her for her engagement party and remarks how beautiful you look, but this isn't true. You did it because as his best man, you know Joel will be there. 
The thought of a whole evening with Joel would have intimidated you a week ago, but after your phone conversation you feel excited to see him. Plus he's undoubtedly brought Sarah and she is the brightest of bright spots. 
"Over here!" Tommy calls and as you turn your head to follow Maria you see Joel sitting at the table beside a beautiful woman who smiles up at you as Maria and you approach. 
He brought Tess? 
The minute he sees you, a look crosses Joel’s face. A look that you can’t actually decipher. He murmurs something to Tess and then he’s moving from the table towards the washrooms. You don’t bothering watching him go.
Tommy offers you and Maria your seats next to his at the booth. You’re directly across from Tess and Joel. You want to hold in a groan.
“Hi, I’m Tess,” the woman says with a small wave from her side of the table. You wave back, introducing yourself.  Tommy pushes a menu towards you and you busy yourself reading the specials, trying to stop the galloping of your heart. 
“Joel says you're the best babysitter," Tess enthuses with a broad smile, determined to talk to you. "And Sarah never stops talking about you. I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity."
"Mmm." You feel sick to your stomach. "Where is Sarah? I thought she'd be here."
"I convinced Joel to let my mom take care of the kids tonight," Tess explains. "Took a lot of convincing though. You know how stubborn he can be."
"Oh sure," you say glumly. 
Tess seems to want to say more but Joel has returned from the washroom and slid into the chair next to Tess and across from you. You could be mistaken but his temples look damp, like he splashed water on his face. 
"Did I miss anything?" he asks, looking between you and Tess.
"Just saying how my mom is babysitting the kids so we could come solo tonight," Tess smiles at him. 
You toss back your drink.  "Does she have her first aid?"
"Huh?" Tess is looking at you confused.
"Your mom. Does she have CPR training?" You continue. "Can she drive at night if there's an emergency?"
"Hey." Joel's voice is a low warning, his eyes narrowed. 
But Tess's face has broken into amusement and she's laughing in a way that can only be described as musical. She rubs Joel's arm with affection. 
"Joel she's kidding."
"Yeah," you say with a forced smile. "Kidding."
"Maria told me you were funny," Tess acknowledges. You don't know what to say to that. You give a polite nod before everyone's attention is drawn to the end of the table. Maria and Tommy are seated there. Tommy has his arm around Maria and she's nestled under his armpit like she was made to be there. 
"Thanks for coming out," Tommy says raising a glass. “Just a little something to celebrate us getting’ engaged. Nothing fancy but let’s raise a glass and…Well, except maybe you. You keep your glass on the table.”
Tommy winks at you as he motions to your pint, the meaning obvious and Maria lets out a barking laugh, turning to you and shaking her head.
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“Tommy!’ You defend, your cheeks flaming. “You told her?”
“He couldn’t stop laughing telling me,” Maria informs you. Tess and Joel are looking at the three of you dissolving into giggles, confusedly.  Tommy sobers quickly, raising his glass once more.
“To finding the right person,” he says warmly. “To love.”
You raise your glass along with the rest of the table, tapping it gently against Tess’s glass when she leans over with her glass extended. You ignore Joel when his tips towards you. Instead you drink deeply, letting the hoppy ale coat your tongue.
You learn more about Tess because she never seems to stop talking. She's a nurse. She's a beer fan. She's nuts about horses. Of course she is. She probably has a secret collection of flannel shirts too.
With every new detail you find yourself pouring another glass of beer from the communal pitchers. The beer momentarily makes you feel more affectionate towards the group, even annoying ol' Tess who seems determined to talk the entire fucking night. 
She's pretty. Closer to Joel's age and very confident. That's the only word you can think to describe her. The way she carries herself, the way she can just interject comments into the conversation all night as if she's been part of the group forever.
“We’re going to the site tomorrow morning early,” Tess enthuses now. “Can’t wait to see it.”
"Oh, are you a construction worker as well as a nurse?"  You don't mean for it to sound snarky, but it comes out harsh and ugly. 
Maria and Tommy shoot you a similar surprised look with raised brows. Joel is glowering at you and Tess is laughing awkwardly. 
"I just mean," you scramble, trying to salvage your faux pas. "You seem to know -"
You watch as she wraps a hand over his shoulder, resting her chin there and looking at Joel fondly. 
"I just wanted to see where my man spends all his time." 
My man. 
Thankfully the waitress is there with pitchers of beer for the table before you can say something hideous. You throw yours back by the time everyone is just finishing their first sips. Maria is still looking at you incredulously. 
"Are you seeing anyone?" Tess asks you politely. And now you can feel so many sets of eyes on you, it causes your skin to crawl. You think about your audience, unsure if you should answer.
But then you feel like there’s this overwhelming air of pity around the table as they look at you. You suppose this is what motivates you to answer how you do.
"Uh, yeah," you nod looking at your dinner. "His name's Paul."
There’s the sharp clattering of cutlery and you wince. You just know that Maria heard you.
"Wait, did you say Paul?" Maria is leaning forward to see you down the table. You can feel her eyes on you. "When did that happen?"
"Maria," Tommy says placing a calming hand over hers. 
"Sorry," Maria says blinking rapidly and forcing a smile. "I just didn't know. Just caught me off guard."
"Wait, Paul Paul?," Tommy says now as his mind finally connects the dots. "The guy you dated before? The musician?"
Please stop. Just stop asking me-
"I thought this whole dinner was about celebrating your engagement," Joel says coolly. "So let's talk about it. Mainly, how much do I have to spend on your bachelor party when you did fuck all for mine, Tommy?"
The tension is broken for the moment and the group laughs before it falls into a comfortable pattern of chatting. For a moment you’re suddenly grateful to Joel for diverting the conversation.  
You begin to like the beer, even though you've never been a big drinker. You like it because it makes you feel fuzzy and warm. 
You try your best not to look at Joel through the dinner. But he's across from you so it's hard. His kneecap brushes yours at one point and you nearly jump out of your skin. It's when he shifts, putting his arm on the seat behind Tess, letting his hand drift lazily against her shoulder that a sudden anger unleashes itself in you. 
All the goodwill you have for Joel from that phone conversation seems to be ebbing away with every pint you throw back. He's sitting there practically rubbing it in your face that he's with Tess!
Fuck Joel Miller. Fuck him for thinking its fine to tell you how much he cares about you and then find another woman so easily. If he liked you so much why were you so easy to replace?
The meal is almost over when you get a buzz on your hip. You pull out your phone under the table and see Paul has sent you a message.
C u at home gorgeous. I'll bring dessert.
You swallow thickly before placing the phone back in your pocket. You feel eyes on you and glance up to see Joel studying you from across the table. You pour yourself another beer. 
"How many is that?" Joel murmurs in a low voice only you can hear. The rest of the group is chatting at the other end of the table. 
"Last time I counted it was..." You adopt a contemplative look, pretending to add in your head before your face drops. "Oh right, none of your business."
You throw the drink back with renewed gusto. Joel watches this silently, his face revealing nothing, before his attention is back to the group.
You start to understand why people love beer so much. It makes you numb to the fact that Maria looked horrified at the thought of you being back with Paul. It makes you impervious to the sight of Tess caressing Joel's forearm in front of you, as if she's purposely trying to rub it in.
"Maria I forgot to tell you, I found the best charity shop by the boulevard." 
"Please tell me it's nothing like the last one you dragged me to," Maria says with a chuckle. "I'm still finding glitter all over my closet!"
She and Tess break into high pitched giggles. Your fork stills on your plate at the sound.
Wait. Maria and Tess have been hanging out just the two of them? It's not enough that she's taken Joel, now she's gonna come for Maria too? 
A coiling tendril of insecurity and anger starts to move through you and as if she can sense it, Tess turns and smiles in your direction. 
"You should come with us next time! Maybe we can find some good stuff for the wedding."
She's coming to the wedding?! She's known Maria and Tommy for what, a month, maybe two, and now she's invading the wedding? A sickening sensation is taking you over. A sensation that has nothing to do with Tess’ offer and everything to do with wanting to slap Joel fucking Miller across his beautiful, horrible face.
"I'm busy," you mutter. 
Tess's smile is fading and the rest of the group is now staring at you awkwardly. Except for Joel, he's openly glaring at you. You can see the muscle in his jaw working overtime as he pins you with his gaze. 
Tess glances at Maria and then back to you giving a weak laugh. "But, I didn't say when we were going." 
Fuck.
Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. You want to be anywhere but here. You hate the pitying look Tommy is sending you even worse than the open hostility that Joel is. 
Maria seems to sense your discomfort because she's talking loudly about dessert. Everyone agrees that a tart sounds great. 
You take this opportunity to slink off to the bathroom feeling properly admonished. You move with a slight wobble as you stand, finding it much harder to walk now that the restaurant is so packed and the room seems to be tilted. 
You stand outside the washroom door, hidden behind the wall for a few moments. Is it too late to just run? No, fuck, your purse and phone are back at the table. Maybe you can tell everyone you got food poisoning?
"The fuck are you doing?"
Your eyes dart to the approaching figure of Joel. He rounds the corner, stalking towards you like a creature of terrifying grace. He comes to stand inches from you, so close you have to tilt back a bit to see his face. 
"Whadda you mean?" You say trying to keep the slur from your voice. 
"Being a bitch to Tess for no reason? Getting wasted?" Joel replies pointedly. "In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you have more than one drink."
"I'm not drunk," you counter even as you struggle to focus on his increasingly blurry face. "You don't see me all the time Joel. You don't know if I drink or not. You actually don't know me at all."
"I do know you," Joel replies in a voice so dark and low it feels siphoned from the soles of his work boots. "You think all you deserve is that asshole that left you."
You give a scoffing noise. Joel Miller of all people is trying to give you relationship advice? 
Joel continues, his neck bending so he can keep your eyes. "Hell, I don't think you even like him. He's just convenient."
You want to scream in his face. You want to pummel his strong chest. And you want to hug him, to have him hold you. It's so complicated being around Joel and it infuriates you that you still feel this way knowing you can't have him. 
"What do you care?" You shoot back, holding the door to the washroom to keep your balance. You make sure to pitch your voice low and quiet so the table can’t overhear. "You have perfect Tess and now you'll have a perfect family and a perfect life. How perfectly fucking perfect for you."
You know you sound absolutely crazy as you say this to him, your eyes half closed in a drunken stupor as you sway in place. Joel looks exasperated.
“You said you wanted to be friends.”
"You guys sleep together yet?” you say over him, not hearing what he’s just said. “You tell her the same stuff you told me that night?"
Joel's gaze hardens. His shoulders are shaking as he breathes in and out at a rapid pace. You want to punch something. Mainly Joel’s face.
"You tell her that you want her for your own? That you need to taste her? You probably do. I was such a fucking idiot."
You go to walk away but Joel is stopping you, his hand on your shoulder keeping you there by pressing it to the wall. He does it lightly and you know if you pulled away from him he’d let you go. But his eyes pin you to the wall, keeping you there.
"Tess doesn't walk out when things get tough," Joel tells you in a low whisper. "She doesn't tell me how she feels and then leave and ignore me for weeks."
"Nope. She's perfect."
"She doesn't need to be perfect. She just needs to talk to me, to not run away from me." Joel is inches from your face. "Do you know how I felt when I heard from Tommy that you'd been talking to Maria the whole time you were gone?" 
You're surprised by this. You weren't aware he'd known anything about your trip away, including who you talk to.  
"I told you how I felt about you and then you pick up and leave," Joel says in a voice that feels dragged from the base of his abdomen. "And I was the one here panicking, calling you, begging for you to call me back like a fucking loser."
"You’re not-"
"You never called once."
"I couldn't."
"You called Maria." Joel defends. 
"Maria is like my family," you say with a deep frown, irritated that you have to defend yourself. "I've known her since we were teenagers."
Joel is silent, his face drawn into a cold frown. 
"Joel, I couldn't call you. We were so... fresh, so new." You run your hands through your hair, tugging. "I couldn't stand the thought of dragging you down with me."
His eyes are searching yours. "That wasn't just for you to decide."
"Yes it was!" you insist, your voice wobbling. "I get to decide when and what I share, Joel."
"You do," Joel replies airily. "Just don't expect everyone to be waiting around for you when you finally decide to do it."
"You certainly weren't," you bite back. "How long after you told me about all those feelings did you go running off to Tess?"
Silence.
“C'mon Joel," you demand, your drunkenness feeding your ire. "All those feelings you claimed you had churning up inside you. Where did they go so quickly? Be honest." 
If looks could kill you'd be dead five times over. He pulls back, his hand moving from your shoulder and falling to his hip.
"Or maybe they weren't as strong as you led me to believe," you say swaying as you try to keep your gaze focused. "Maybe you just liked the attention, Joel. And now you have someone new, someone easier, someone who doesn’t know that you ran just as quickly as I did."
Joel shuts his eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath, it's slow and even and you are terrified at the sound of it. It's as if he's a giant balloon releasing all the hateful tension of the last five minutes.
“I wanted you so fucking badly. I told you things I’ve never told anyone. Ever. Not even Tommy.”
You feel sick to your stomach listening to Joel because in all the time you’ve known him you don’t remember him sounding this defeated. Then his eyes open and it's like you've been kicked in the gut. All the hatred and the fury you'd been expecting is gone. Instead all that remains is a naked sorrow that makes you do a double take. 
“And I get to your house that morning and you won’t look at me and your bag is packed and all I can think is that it’s Michelle all over again. So yeah, I fucked up and left. I’m sorry.” Joel’s breathing is unsteady. “But you don’t get to act like it’s the same as what you did to me. I called you how many times that day to apologize? And I didn’t expect you tell me everything. I just wanted to know you were okay. I wanted to be there for you. And you shut me out.”
Please Joel. Please don’t look at me like that. Not with eyes that sad.
“And you don’t want me. That’s fine. You tell me you want to be friends? I agree to it. I moved on with a woman who has made it clear that she wants all of me and you’re mad at me for it?”
Are you mad? Its what you wanted wasn't it? Less complication? Joel as your friend?
So then why are you this fucking angry?
"I. . . I thought you wanted us to be friends," he says in a voice so quiet you almost don’t hear it. 
You stare up at him, blinking as his words register with you. Friends. You can't be friends with Joel Miller. Not when you like him this much. Not when the sight of him still makes your stomach do cartwheels.  
But there’s still a fire in your belly, multiplied by the alcohol but definitely not reliant on it.
"I don't want to be your friend," you bite back. "I don't need you using me as free babysitting so you can go off with Tess and get your dick wet." 
This is the ugliest thing you've ever said to him. Maybe to anyone. It's such a cruel, twisted thing to say to a man who has done nothing besides not wait around for you to decide whether you like him or not. Joel stares down at you with a look of such disappointment you're convinced you could shrivel away to nothing under it.
"That was a shitty fucking thing to say."
You wonder if he's going to yell at you or slap the wall beside your head. You never find out because Maria rounds the corner to see you both locked in a mutual glare. 
"Hey guys, was wondering where you got off to," Maria says eye-balling you both. Its clear there is tension, made even more obvious by the seething glare Joel shoots you before stalking back to the table.
You both watch him leave and then Maria is staring at you with a look of someone solving a very large and very obvious puzzle. 
"You like Joel."
You want to shake your head and insist that she's wrong. You want to deny everything and force a laugh. But instead your head drops forward onto your sternum and you're holding in tears.
"Yeah." 
Maria brings you stumbling into her arms and guides you to exit the restaurant. She's brought your purse and she holds you steady as you weave out the doors. 
"I'm taking you home."
"The dinner -"
"Over anyway," Maria insists as you both buckle in. "The dessert was disgusting."
She lets you sit in silence the entire drive home but inside the suite after leading you to your sofa, Maria fixes you with a stern look.
"So how long? And you better be fucking honest with me now."
"A while," you admit. 
You tell her about the butterfly's at trivia. You tell her about the kennels he spent hours making for you. You tell her about the ice cream and the park.  The way you’d felt when Joel took your hand in his, driving you home after James. You tell her about his finger tracing your lip. You tell her about the kiss at the party. You tell her about how beautiful he kisses and how he told you how he felt. You tell her everything because she’s Maria and not telling her has been hurting you more than you realized.  (You don’t tell her about after the party though because. . . Well, some things are sacred to you alone.)
She holds you and she wipes your tears when you tell her about what you said to Joel at the party.
“I am not team Joel by any means, but why didn’t you just call him?”
“I couldn’t, Maria,” you say with a quivering chin. “I just couldn’t let him know that part of my life. Not yet. And now look how quickly he moved on. I was gone for what, a month?”
“Honey,” she says in a way that feels far too maternal coming from a woman near to your age. She pulls you into her arms again and you cry there, hating everything about that night and how much it has ruined. “Look at it this way, he admits everything to you, you leave and don’t call for six weeks. He thinks ‘oh fuck, she doesn’t want me like I want her. I’m an idiot. Plus I have a kid who’s grown attached. I better get out now.’”
“And get with another woman?”
“Joel is a guy. Guys are simple,” Maria explains  flatly. “He has an ego and you crushed it when you left and ignored him. So he found a woman who built it back up. Made him feel good. A woman who he can see without it being weird for Sarah. A woman who, let’s be honest, is hot and cool and doesn’t really demand much of Joel aside from his time and attention.”
Maria is right. You know it. Tess is a better fit for Joel and Sarah.
You think back to your childhood, sometime between the good and bad years. You were no more than seven and you came upon an abandoned kitten half buried under leaves in the park, left by its mother. It was small, a runt, and probably hours away from dying.
You'd rushed home with it in your jacket, your little heart pounding as you brought it to your mother. A wise woman with a sensitive heart to animals. Of course she helped you bathe it, feed it, nurse it back to life. For two weeks you and that kitten were inseparable. You held him tightly to you, warming him. You read him stories and you sang sweet melody's as he slept. And he grew, his mewls turning from sad yips to mighty meow's. He began to follow you around the house, playfully nipping at your heels as you squealed with delight.
You told everyone at school about the kitten who you named Marmalade because of his orange color. And one Wednesday two weeks after you discovered him you arrived home to see his blanket at the end of your bed was gone. The carrier you'd bought was missing from the hall closet and when you ran to your mother terrified she had told you what you would ultimately come to know: You'd thought love was enough and it wasn't. The cat needed more. A family that could take better care of it. 
You'd sobbed for hours with your mom rocking you in her arms.
"They have lots of money and room for him," your mom had told you as your face pressed into on her shoulder sniffling. "That kitten is going to have a better life then most people. Letting him go was the kindest thing you could have done, sweetheart."
You think of that kitten now as Maria mentions Tess and you realize that once more your love is not enough. Joel will be better off.
You can't keep him.
He's not yours.
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mr-bas00nist · 1 year
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I Don’t Wanna Crush You!
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Sub! König x Dom! Male! Reader
Cw- Facesitting, slight masochism, asphyxiation, rimming, overstimulation and insecurities
König was the anxious type. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. Whether it be something physical or mental. It didn’t matter what it was there was still always a lingering fear. One of the things he was especially anxious about was your guys relationship.
your relationship was perfect but König was still always scared that you were gonna leave him. If he wasn’t perfect on the inside or the outside would you stop loving him? And one of the things he was most insecure about was his body.
He was tall, muscular and chubby. He could never lose that extra weight all that would happen is it would turn into muscle and he would get even bigger. He was insecure and had no self esteem whatsoever.
Than you came. You made him see his worth even if he still didn’t see it that much he worked towards it every day but, there were some days that he needed a bit of extra help from you.
You walk into the bathroom to see König looking at himself disgusted in the mirror. You walk up behind him until you were in view of the mirror. “O-oh didn’t think you were gonna come in…” he speaks nervously. You wrap your arms around him from behind.
“What are you insecure about today König?” He holds onto your arms gently. He looks down before looking back up at you in the mirror. “M-my weight.” He explains. You smile pulling your arms away. “I can work with that.”
At first König was skeptical about the whole face-sitting thing but when you got him on you it was game over. He cried out with a moan as you held onto his hips quickly devouring him. He let out a scream when you pushed him down even farther.
When you brought him to his first orgasm he took control of the pace. So now you had a 6’10 man who was built like a tank riding your face. Your lungs were burning with exertion but not in a million years did you want him to get off.
You wanted to make him feel good about and he was certainly feeling good. He kept a tight hold on your hips, arching his back even more to feel you deeper. He was getting rougher and rougher by the minute too.
Your heart was pounding but you weren’t sure if it was the fact you were suffocating or if it was just him. (Probably the suffocation) He started babbling German but you paid no mind only trying to give him the most mind numbing orgasm for the second time this night.
“Scheiße!! so nah so nah~ werde, cum so hart, so verdammt hart!” With a scream he cums shaking from the aftershocks. After a little he realizes you were still under him. He lifts up to see you under him hyperventilating with a smile.
You gasp loudly taking in all the air you can. He’s never seen a man so greedy for air…
“W-Why didn’t you make me get off!” He asks concerned. “I didn’t care! if I died I would’ve died a happy man!” You smile. He rolls his eyes with a sigh getting off of your face. He lays next to you putting his head on your chest.
He breaks the silence with a simple thank you. You smile at him. “Glad I could help, I’m gonna go get a towel for you.” Before he can protest you stand up going to get a towel. You return quickly admiring his dazed look.
“Did I do a good job?” You ask smiling. He nods with a groan as you throw the towel away. You go back in bed with him laying next to him. “I’m glad, let me know if your ever insecure again.” His mouth curls into a smirk, “I-I won’t come to you just when I’m insecure trust m-me, fuck…” You laugh at his response.
“I’ll be right here go to bed König.” You rub his back slowly lolling him to sleep.
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lonelyfooryouonly · 11 months
Text
Better than him
ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER
Request summary: you get drunk one night at a party, but your boyfriend isn't there to keep an eye on you. fortunate enough, Ellie is.
Warnings: men, shitty boyfriend, use of a slur, suggestive language here and there, mentions of cheating;
Word count: 5,5k
This story is based on this request.
"I could be so much better than him. I could do the shit he never did."
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‍Chapter 1:
When someone would ask you why were you with Mark Jacobs, you would say "because he is a good person". Quite a simple word to describe someone you were supposed to love, isn't it?People would often frown at your answer, probably expecting someting big like "amazing", "better than anyone" or "the best I've ever had". But no. He was just good. Mostly. Mostly, he was a good boyfriend who understood you, did the bare minimum and made you feel wanted. Sometimes.
But is "mostly" enough? Is "sometimes" what you want? Is bare minum what you really deserve?
You found yourself asking this questions quite frequently. He was supposed to be good all the time. Even if there were people around you, even if his friends were present, he should have acted the same way as he did when it was only the two of you.
It was like you dated two completely different people. One of those people was a decent human being and the other one was a complete asshole. His whole behavoir changed as soon as one of his friends appeared in the picture. He suddenly transformed in this insufferable person to be around anymore, trying to match their energy and their life styles. His friends considered serious relationships a complete joke. That's why he was so interested in looking so detached and cold when they were present, like he didn't even care if you were there or not, like he didn't always beg you to forgive him afterwards.
He was aware he cared too much about their approval, but he was so scared of being excluded from their group and this fear consumed him. You often tried to make him understand that it was okay for him to show emotions, to show that he actually cared for you in public, but he always messed things up and choose his image over you every chance he got.
And after a while you stopped caring. You were just consuming yourself over someone who was more in love with his friends than with you. And whatever intense feelings you had for him in the beginning, over the time, they started to dissappear. When you looked at him you almost felt nothing. Almost. You weren't quite there, but you were almost there.
You gave him chances to do things right, to treat you better, to see that his constant desire to be accepted by some douchebags was so messed up. Unfortunately, he wasted all of them. But it was for the better. Beacuse you deserved more, you knew that, your friends knew that. You just needed that boost to just end things and find someone who would be proud to be seen with you, to claim you loudly, unapologeticaly. Someone who doesn't care about anyone's approval. You wanted someone who didn't use you to make themselves look good and established.
"Babe?" Mark's quiet voice pulled you away from your thoughts, making you turn your attention towards his face. He was kind of worried and anxious, almost nervous to talk to you. You quickly caught on what he was about to say, so you just sighed and motioned with your hand for him to just live, again.
He had this stupid habit of bringing you to frat parties held by his friends only to be seen with you for a while before he eventually left you all alone to go and drink with them. The worst part was that he always insisted you dress up nicely to make a good impression, to show to everyone how pretty his girlfriend is. Like you were a fucking prize or someting. A prize he would hold a little and then put it back on the shelf.
"I will come back, I promise" he assured you, leaning forward to place a kiss on your lips, but you turned your face to avoid the contact. He never came back. He just got wasted and forget about you in an instant, only messaging you in the morning with a bunch of "i'm sorry" texts.
"Don't be like that" he asked you, but before he could add someone else called his name. You both looked back and saw one of his friends, Erik, waving at him and showing off how many bottles of beer he had in his hands.
"Dude, come on, the others are waiting" he shouted accross the room. Mark just glanced at you again, mouthing "sorry" and than shouting back at the guy, leaving you alone on the couch to go to Erik. Well he could as well fuck Erik.
You followed his figure, how he literally rushed to the blonde gut to not make him wait any longer. What a fucker.
Chapter 2:
Your mind didn't work properly anymore. Your body had it's own brain now, making decisions without you agreeing to them. Your vision was a bit blurry and you often found yourself giggling at something, but the giggle stopped as soon as you remembered about Mark. You were so drunk, but still not enough drunk to forget about him and how much you hated his guts. You needed more alchool to wipe him away of your thoughts, to just get him out of your mind and one night just enjoy a party without sobbing and being pitiful in a random corner because your boyfriend ditched you.
You tried getting up from the couch, wobbling a little bit as you stood up. You shouldn't have worn heels, but who knew you would decide to get completely wasted tonight? You tried moving as slow as you could, doing a lot of effort to maintain your balance as you stood up from your seat. It wasn't as if you were embarrased to fell down, it was just the fact that you wouldn't have the neccessary amount of power to get up by yourself.
There were lots of people dancing around you and clumsily bumping into you due to the limited space the living room offered. You glared at them, but they seemed to be in an even worse state than you, so you arguing with them would lead nowhere at this point.
Sighing, you tried your best to avoid the strangers that would either get too close for your liking and brush their bodies against yours or get in your way, making it impossible to get out from the dancing crowd. After you were finally about to reach the table with drinks, you felt someone jolt into you— probably without realizing it, making you yelp and find yourself bumping into another person's back.
You whimpered at the contact as the other person cursed under their breath, mumbling something about dropping their drink on the floor, before seeing them turning to you. When she finally faced you, you gulped as you thought you were completely screwed. She was taller than you, towering over your figure as she made eye contact.
"Now who the fuck-" she stopped mid sentence once she saw you looking up at her with big worried eyes, fear crossing all over your face as you waited for her to continue her rant. You hoped this to end soon and get over with.
"Oh..." you heard her voice soften and you frowned a bit, but relaxed at the same time. Maybe she wasn't as intimidating as you thought. The tone she used before scared you and you expected the things to be much worse.
"I'm so sorry! Someone pushed me and... I didn't want to hit you in the process. It was just-" you began explaining yourself as soon as you had the chance, but she raised a finger to stop you from talking. You quickly shut up, feeling a little bit embarrased and shy because of her presence.
"It's all in past, babe" she assured you on a much lively manner, brushing it off like nothing happend, like she didn't almost curse you out for making her drop her drink. You were suprised at her change of behavoir, even blushing when you heard the word "babe" addressed to you so casually, yet having a greater effect on you. You were going to blame this reaction on the alchool in your body.
"I will... Uhm... pour you another one if you want" you offered, still feeling like you owe her something in return. She smiled at you and parted her lips to answer, but someone came behind you, shoving you again, this time bumping into her chest.
You suddenly felt her big and warm hands place on your waist as she held you pressed against her to make sure you won't loose balance and to keep you somehow protected. Her strong cologne invaded your senses, making you dizzy and a bit flustered. You were so close to her, and it felt so... nice. Yeah, she was just a stranger to happend to ran into, but she already made you feel some type of way.
"Why don't you fucking watch were you're going? Huh?" She angrily shouted at the person who shoved you, her grip slightly thigtening around you.
"L-let's just go" you asked her, feeling your mouth a bit numb as the words left it. You were also overwhelmed by how she stood up for you and protected you even of she met you a few minutes ago.
"What a sore loser" she mumbled under her breath, but listened to you, moving her hands away from your waist to catch one of your hands into hers. She started dragging you to the table, holding you thight as you clinged into her forearm, following her like a lost puppy. You didn't know why you felt so safe with her. Maybe because she was a girl? You surely felt safer with girls to take care of you than with guys.
"Are you okay?" she asked you once you stopped in front of the table, turning to you and scanning your face. Your cheeks were flushed, eyes sleepy and a lazy smile was plastered on your lips. Only now she realized how drunk you actually were, because of the change of light, this corner being brighter than the dance floor.
"Just a bit dizzy, but it's okay" you assured her, nodding, but this made you feel your head spinning, feeling a sudden headache washing over you. Okay, no more sudden moves.
"You sure...?" she scanned you and your movements as your hands reached for a random bottle and a red cup, messily starting to pour the liquid into the cup, spilling most of it on the ground.
"Oops-" you chuckled as you saw the puddle that formed near your feet, but you didn't give up, pouring again. It was like you were on a mission: to fill the cup for the pretty girl who saved you.
Ellie watched you with worry as gently placed her hands over yours, making you stop ypur doings and looking up at her with a confused look on your face.
"You don't want to drink?" you pouted, frowning a bit at her. "More for me then" you shrugged as you dragged the cup to your lips, ready to drink whatever was in it.
"I think you drank enough, babe" she said as she grabbed your wrist to stop you from drinking it. She called you that again... she shouldn't... you had a boyfriend. Well, you were about to dump him soon, but you had a boyfriend.
"Do you call everyone 'babe'?" you frowned as you studied her face better. She had freckles all over her face, a slit on her eyebrow, plump lips and pretty yet sharp features, making you want to not move your eyes away from her.
"Only pretty girls" she answered on a playful tone as she winked at you, while taking the cup and the bottle away from you and placing them back on the table.
"I have a boyfriend, you know" you mumbled, almost embarrased to admit it in front of her. You didn't know why.
"You do?" she asked, unphased by your statement. She could tell how badly he treated you if he let you all alone at a party while being this drunk. So many things could happen, yet he didn't seem to care enough.
"Well, I still have one" you corrected yourself, feeling like this answer was more close to the truth.
"And what do you mean by that?" Ellie further questioned as she took your hand and dragged you after her.
"Uh... I won't have one after tonight anymore" you said as you followed her, seeing how she was leading you towards the kitchen. You almost stumbled on the way there, but quickly regained you balance and tried your best to keep up with her.
"Are you implying something?" she smirked as she turned to you, stopping in the middle of the kitchen.There was no one around, only the two of you.
You looked at her a bit confused at first, taking a few seconds to realize how your sentences must have sounded to her and what they implied. It seemed like you flirted with her based on how you worded your thoughts, giving the impression you would dump your boyfriend because of her-
"I- Ugh, I will dump him because he is not treating me well" you informed her, pouting as you remembered how he just left tou here, not even checking up on you. Nothing.
"Right." She nodded as she moved to get a glass and fill it with water, then came and gave it to you.
"Thank you-" you wanted to say her name, but you realized you didn't even know it. She quickly caught on and smiled, leaning against the marble island and watching you.
"Ellie" she spoke, making you blush.
"Thank you, Ellie" you replied as you moved the glass towards your lips and drank half of it, but Ellie wasn't pleased.
"All of it" Ellie instructed and you just followed her orders, without thinking too much, not having the power to fight back.
"That's it. Good girl" she praised you and you felt warm again. Why did those words sounded so good coming from her? Why did they gave you a funny feeling?
"Why don't you tell me your name now?" she asked before you could say anything, and it wasn't really like you could, because her praise just made your mind go blank.
You finally introduced yourself, reaching your hand forward to give her a firm, quick handshake. The small touch was enough to make butterflies appear in your stomach as you felt her skin against your, her long and slender fingers covering yours. The handshake lasted more than it should have and the intense eye contact just made everything more intimate than it should have been. How could a simple thing such as a handshake feel so... dirty. Or was it you who made like this? Probably. You had the tendacy to get turned on when you drank to much.
"Pleased to meet you" she smiled after a few seconds of silence in which you felt like you eye-fucked each other.
"I feel the same way... and other things" you said, as you placed you hand on your belly, starting to massage it to ease away the sudden disconfort.
"What other things?" She raised an eyebrow at you, studying your face as it slightly contorted in pain.
"Like I'm gonna throw up" you said as you quickly moved your palm to cover your mouth.
Chapter 3:
Ellie held your hair in a tight grip, making sure it wasn't getting in your way as you threw up a second time. You were lucky to find a bathroom in time or else your pretty dress would have been ruined completely.
"You got it all out?" you heard her ask behind you.
"Ugh... yeah..." you answered, a bit embarrased that you just spilled your guts in front of her. You thought she would be disgusted or angry, but as you turned to her, you saw a worried expression plastered on her face.
"I will leave you a moment to freshen up" she announced you as she loosened the grip on your hair until you haven't felt it anymore. You simply nodded, watching her leave the room and close the door behind her.
You got up and went to the sink, scrunching your nose as you saw your reflection in the mirror. You were a complete mess. Your hair, your face... they looked horrible. You had to make yourslef look at least decent before facing Ellie, because you were already embarrased of your actions. You wasted no time and turned on the water, washing your mouth thoroughly until the bad taste left your mouth. You then tried to fix your hair, running your fingers through it until it didn't look like a bird nest anymore. You quickly washed your face and wiped the water away.
You took a deep breath before twisting the door knob and stepping out of the bathroom. As you exited, you found Ellie leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for you. Her head turned to the side to make eye contact as she gave you a smile, which you returned, still feeling guilty.
"I am so sorry you had to take care of me instead of enjoying the party. I was such a handful" you said as you scratched the back of your head, ashamed as you remembered how much trouble you caused to her.
"Don't mind it. I am glad you bumped into me, honestly." she admitted and you felt your cheeks heat up because of her sudden confession.
"I... I am happy too. I don't know what I would have done without you. If you hadn't stepped in and stopped me from drinking things would have get much worse." you replied, feeling very grateful towards her.
"Yeah... I would be such a good boyfriend, wouldn't I?" Ellie asked in a playful tone, but there was some seriousness behind and you could sense it.
"You could... you can" you corrected yourself, using the present tense to let her know that she definetly has a chance. Her eyes widened a bit, being a bit surprised at your boldness, but she liked how you made things clear. Her answer never came because your phone started buzzing, making her turn her attention to your bag, which she bought to you from the couch you sat before.
"I think someone's looking for you" she said as she reached for the phone, handing it to you. You opened it, looking at your notification and seeing 2 messages from Mark.
Mark: Go to ur dorm I'll meet you there
Mark: See you in 20
You scoffed as his messages. He didn't even ask if you were okay, how were you feeling, if something happend... He went straight up and told you to go home so he can come over and get some action. Hell no. You knew how petty it was to break up with someone over text, but he didn't deserve a face to face conversation.
You: No need to come over.
You: I break up with you.
You put your phone back into your bag, rolling your eyes as you heard it buzz over and over again, probably Mark freaking out because of your sudden message, but you weren't in the mood of him. He should have seen this coming. It wasn't like he was treating you good, bring always there for you and caring for you to be surpirsed he got dumped.
"I told him I break up and now I can't go to my dorm, because he will surely come there, trying to fix things." you sighed, leaning your back on the wall behind you.
Ellie stood in silence for a minute, thinking of a good way to say the words without you feeling like she wants something from you. Yeah, she would hook up from time to time with girls and bring them to her dorm, but she didn't want this from you. She genuinely wanted to help you and while helping you she could find more about you.
"You can come to my place If you want. It's too late to bother one of your friends and I am here, so... yeah" she nervously smiled at you, hoping she didn't mess things up.
"I would love it" you answered happily, not wasting time to speak. You really wanted to spend some alone time with her. She seemed like a nice, caring girl and you were curious about her interests, likings... and her persona overall.
"Cool. That's cool. Yeah," Ellie replied, trying to sound chill and relaxed, not wanting to seem too desperate, but she was freaking out on the inside. And so were you.
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Chapter 4:
"Imma be honest with you, I thought my room would be a fucking mess." Ellie said as she scanned her room, which wasn't really a mess, but really decent. She was glad she listened to her insticts and left it clean before she went to the party.
"Couldn't be worse than mine, so don't worry" you assured her as you made yourself confortable on her bed and she nodded, feeling a bit better.
"Don't you want to change in something more comfortable?" she questioned as she sterted to unbutton her flanner shirt. You looked diwn at your sundress, scrunching your nose. It was a bit too tight around your waist as you sat down and the material wasn't the most welcoming.
"Yeah, but... Ugh I feel bad for asking you to give me a shirt, I already invaded your space enough" you explained, bitting your lip while looking at her. Now that she took off her flannel shirt, she remained with a white wife-beater that showcased her toned arms, and you could fully also see her tattoo, which was creeping under her sleeve. You didn't know it was so large, covering her entire forearm.
"Hey, I am the one who suggested you came here. I do all of this because I want to, so don't feel bad. Just take what I give you, okay?" she asked, and you nodded, feeling again overwhelmed by her kindness.
"I didn't know you were so nice. I thought you were going to beat me when I bumped into you" you found yourself confessing as she turned to her closet to search for a shirt.
"Beat you?" she laughed as she faced you again, shaking her head. "I could never hurt a fly", she admitten on a solemn tone, while lending the piece of material to you.
"Then what are those muscles for, hm?" you smirked as tou took it and placed it beside you.
"To attract the ladies, of course. And maybe to beat their asshole boyfriends who let them wonder drunk at parties" she joked, making you roll your eyes. She was clearly talking about you.
Ellie changed into some grey sweatpants and you tried not to stare at her ass too much, in order no not make things weird. She then came to you, dragging the chair from her desk a bit closer to the bad and straddling it backwards to face you as she rested her arms on the top rail.
"Please don't. I already feel bad that I broke up with him over a text" you sighed as you turned around from Ellie to change. You were too tired to even go to the bathroom and Ellie also changed in here so you didn't see a problem in doing it too. You reached for the zipper of the dress, dragging it down and pulling the sleeves off your shoulders and then pulling the dress over your head. You unclasped your bra, took it of and placed it down on the bed, grabbing the shirt Ellie gave you, studying it a bit before gettin dressed. It was a NASA shirt, similar to one of yours, but it was much bigger, covering your thighs completely.
"Then meet up with him and tell him that he is a complete douchebag" she adviced you as her eyes moved from away your body to give you some privacy, until she heard you shift on the bed, a sign that you finished changing.
"I don't want to be alone with him, Ellie" you sighed, closing your eyes for a bit, tiredness overcoming you. It was a long day.
"And what if I would be there? Would that make you feel better?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"My ex boyfriend meeting my actual boyfriend, wouldn't that be fun" you joked on a playful tone, making Ellie blush at your words. She looked to the side as she began to spoke, hoping you wouldn't notice her red cheeks.
"I- I will be there to help you and after you break up with him officially, I gonna take you out on a real date. Sounds good?" she proposed, finally looking at you and seeing how red you were yourself.
"Sounds too good to be true" you smiled shyly.
"But it is true. Now let's get you to sleep, hmm?" She sat up from her chair and came to you, to pull the comforter over your figure, than leaned back.
"Good night" she said as she smiled at you for the hundred time today, but she couldn't stop her lips from going upwards. You gave her this sweet and warm feeling inside.
"Good night, Ellie" you whispered back as you watched her made her way to the couch that was a few feet away from the bed.
You still felt bad you got to sleep on the bed, but on the way here, she assured you it wasn't a problem because you were her guest after all. She was so gentle and caring to you. To others, well, she wasn't the most friendly, but to you? Oh God. And she made you so nervous and comfortable at the same time. Everything you felt because of her was like a paradox. And she did all of that on the span of a few hours together.
You were going to fall for her. Hard.
Chapter 5:
"Thank you for meeting me. I was suprised when you reached out" Mark said as he looked around the restaurant, scanning the place for a bit before turning his attention back to you.
You hoped you won't look stressed, because you didn't see Ellie nowhere yet, even though she sent you this address and told you she will be here to help you. You messaged here before Mark appeared, but didn't have the opportunity to check if she texted back.
"I felt like you deserved at least a face to face discussion before we break up for good." you explained, watching as his face dropped after hearing your words. He scoffed then rolled his eyes, bothered that you still had this idea in your mind.
"Still thinking about this?" Mark asked annoyed and his change of attitude annoyed you as well.
"I not gonna give you another chance. I know you will do the same and I honestly feel nothing for you anymore." You answered as you picked the menu and opened it, starting to browse it.
"You can't be serious-"
"Hello, did you manage to decide what you want to order?" you heard a very familiar voice talking beside you and you instantly relaxed. You both turned towards the voice, seeing Ellie dressed in black slacks, paired with a white button down which had the sleeves rolled up to expose jer forearms and her infamous tattoo you liked a bit too much. So that's why she gave you this address, because she worked here.
"I was in the middle of a conversation" the boy in front of you remarked on a resentful tone, but Ellie just rolled her eyes at him and turned to you to take your order.
"What would you like, beautiful?" she asked under the shocked eyes of your ex-boyfriend, not believing what was happening.
"I would like a mint lemonade for now" you answered with red cheeks and a big smile.
"Alright, I got you" she said as she wrote it down and was ready to leave.
"Hey, aren't you going to ask me that aswell?" He frowned at her, not understanting what was this behavoir all about.
Ellie scoffed as she stopped in her tracks and turned to him, pulling out her jotter and asking a not so nice "what do you want". Mark gave his order, trying to not lash out at her. She wrote down what he wanted and then left the table, leaving you two alone.
"What the fuck is her problem?" Mark mumbled as he crossed his arms against his chest. "Why was she nice to you, but a jerk towards me?"
"I think you are overreacting" you answered, shrugging your shoulders, making him look at you dumbfoulded.
"I- What? She was clearly mean to me!" he complained and you tried to stop the urge to roll your eyes. He deserved it anyway.
"That's not why I called you here— to complain about the waittress" you reminded him and he sighed.
"Look, I know I wasn't the best boyfriend, but you have your own fault too. You always tried to pull me away from my friends and they saw it and didn't like it. You can't make me not hang out with them anymore. You know what they sau, bros over hoes." He replied and your eyes widened as the words left his mouth. The audacity he had to say this. Oh God. The fucking audacity. You couldn't believe he actually said this shit.
"Did you just call me a hoe?" You raised your tone at him, hitting the wooden surface of the table with you palms, startling him and causing some heads to turn in your direction to see what the fuss was all about.
"Well if the shoe fi-" he said with a proud smirk, but didn't manage to finish his sentence, beacause Ellie who just appeared next to him poured the mint lemonade you ordered all over him, making him gasp in suprise.
"What the actual fuck?" he shouted as he looked at her, brows frowned and face red with anger and porbably embarrasment. He tried cleaning himself with the material of his shirt, but didn't succeed as the liqud was all over his clothes.
"Sorry, I thought you were about to say some bullshit" she simply replied as she put the beer he ordered in front of him, trying to hold her smirk back.
"The fuck is going on here?" Mark asked as she scanned both of you. "Do you know each other? Did you make her do this to me?" he suddenly stood up from his chair, raising an accusing finger in your direction. He tried getting closer to you, but Ellie extended her arm to stop him from doing so, giving him a warining look.
"I think you should leave. You are disturbing everyone" she spoke on a serious tone, not moving her eyes from him. She looked kind of intimidating as you stared at her. She was almost the height as Mark and you were sure she would end up punching him if he tried something funny. Because she had the power to.
"Wh- Am I? You fucking poured a drink on me!" He replied, making Ellie roll her eyes.
"And I did you a fucking favor. You smell much better now" she smiled at him, leaning closer to his face. "Now get the fuck out, your face makes me wanna throw up" she added on a low voice, motioning towards the exit.
"Fine, I am sick of this shitshow anyways! Have each other, I don't fucking care!" He accused, trying to not seem too intimidated by Ellie. "And I am taking this" he said as he reached for the beer he ordered and placed them on the table with a loud noise.
"Fucking dykes" he mumbled on his way out, and you saw Ellie tense after hearing his words, clenching her fists. You figured she wanted to go after him, but he truly didn't deserve this much attention, so you grabbed her hand, making her turn her attention towards you. She didn’t have to cause anymore trouble, because Mark got the idea in the end. Honestly, his words didn’t really affect you that much, maybe not even at all. He was a nobody to you now. And it felt great.
"He is not worth it" you said as you dragged her close to where you stood, making her sigh. "He is a douchebag anyways" you added, feeling more relieved that he finally left and you were done with him for good. She made everything so much better, making a fool out of that loser and helping you transmit the message you wanted.
She reached her free hand towards the money he left on the table, counting the bills and chuckling.
"A broke one I might add. Fucker didn't even leave me a tip" she said, making you laugh at her comment.
"Ellie, you poured a drink on him..." you remined her, still giggling.
"He needed a bath anyways, so..."
Tag: @elliesmainhoe
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kyuala · 1 year
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treasure as friends with benefits
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hyung line + yedam only as this has mature themes! sfw maknae line version here. requested by anon.
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hyunsuk
so shy, will literally never initiate anything. blushes easily and just wants to make sure you're comfortable at all times
you wonder if hyunsuk even wants this bc it's been like two weeks and he still hasn't hit you up. but by all means please do take matters into your own hands, he will NOT complain
probably gets anxious doing anything anywhere other than his bedroom the first few times you fuck, but you will reallyyyyyy see how fun and chill sex w hyunsuk can be once he lets go and relaxes
i feel like hyunsuk catching feelings could be a 50/50 chance, he does prefer to have sex with someone he's romantically involved with but it's not always a rule
if he does fall in love he will freak out tho lmao he won't know how to act around you
just wants to cuff you asap tbh
jihoon
LIKES TO FRONT 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
talks real big abt being a dom.... would probably let you dom him. thinks he's immune to catching feelings... will fall for you and then deny it like that's gonna make it go away. says he could probably handle like 3-4 fwbs at the same time.... cant stop thinking about you and turns people down bc of it
keeps buying you things he knows you like but nothing beats the stuff he buys you bc he's noticed they are missing in your house
on God wouldn't mind getting loud and letting certain people know ur business
secretly just wants you to do something - anything - in public that would show people you've got something going on with him and make them back off
compliment him and/or run your hands up and down his biceps and you will give him an ego boost that lasts like 3 whole weeks
yoshi
🚨‼️🚨 romantic feelings alert 🚨‼️🚨
i feel like yoshi would b very chill about the whole thing from the beginning. UNTIL he is not
feel like seeing someone else like that (and being seen by someone else like that) would represent a level of vulnerability to yoshi that would only make him look at you differently (all of you) and that would inevitably trigger some romantic feelings for him, no matter how light or intense
you will notice how much more easily he gets flustered around you, how he invites you to do stuff (out in public in the broad daylight!) with him, how he looks at you and kisses you all different and soft now
DEFINITELY falls into the cliche of asking you to stay for cuddles just a little while longer and feeling like he's on top of the world after waking up with you still in his arms.
probably doesn't really care what happens the first few times as long as you're having fun, but will not be opposed to you introducing some kinks or d/s elements (ahem, he lives to serve. wbk)
junkyu:
bro he would be in love w you before y'all even start oh my God. thoughts of you and what you do to him cloud his mind 24/7 like literally junkyu head empty thoughts y/n
this arrangement probably comes about during some late night talk in his studio when he just lets it slip before he can stop himself. when you agree he just stares at you like 😦 for like 25 minutes
not the best at initiating stuff (if you even count him staring at you from the corner of his eye and hoping you get the message as "initiating stuff")
gets these random bursts of confidence and he will be more active and make you feel good and ur like "boy where the FUCK has this been this whole time" and he's just like :3
not to get mushy all of a sudden but junkyu is literally moved by improvement and growth in his life so if you think things are good now.......... bro be prepared bc he learns FAST what makes you go insane and he will do it every. single. time.
mashiho
thinks he's good at this and is genuinely good at this (sorry to jihoon but this mans built different)
a full adaptable switch, he will figure out what you like and he will suddenly be it, simple as that (and he's good at it, too)
absolutely lives for late night rendezvous (he likes the vibe) but also doesn't really care about the time if he wants to smash he'll smash lol he just won't do it where he works and probably not even in the dorms either
i don't think he'd be afraid to hit u up but i also don't think he would do it that often. does it mostly when he needs to blow off some steam or when he's bored lmao
THE most responsible fwb, he will constantly ask you to keep him updated about how you're feeling and will keep communication clear with you too. will end things if you catch feelings and he doesn't bc he just cares about you and your well-being :(
jaehyuk
probably suggests it himself but will also be v pleasantly surprised if you do it first. doesn't even have to be someone he trusts that much, hell y'all ain't even gotta be friends lmao
seems like he'd try to be picky about when and where but truth is he can't resist you and is easily convinced lol he'd end up fucking you after some thigh touching and dirty whispering on your part
i don't think he would be that ashamed to hit you up frequently either. so be prepared for some thirst traps and some dirty texting 🤞🏼
wants EVERYBODYYYY to know ur business, you'd have to be constantly reminding him that being secretive is part of the deal lmao
i honestly do not think he'd catch feelings easily at all, but he'd be the absolute sweetest and be super considerate to you if you did. if he did catch feelings too he'd just want y'all to get into a relationship as soon as possible, like right then and there
asahi
i dont think he would lmaoooooo
but if by some miracle he did get a fwb, it would have to be someone he trusts a LOT. like top 10 most trusted people in his life type of deal.
probably cares more about the "friend" part than the "benefits" part lol prefers to just hang out and talk first rather than showing up and tearing each others clothes off or something
on the rare occasions y'all do actually do something i feel like he'd be all for it, almost never denying you. he doesn't want anything to feel too intense or stiff so sex with him will be very laid-back, chill, fun... it's literally just two best friends hanging out but he also happens to be making you cum bc he's naturally talented at it
wildcard. i don't think he would catch feelings but also with asahi there's always the off chance of something happening. if he does fall in love i feel like he would try to tell you as soon and as naturally as possible, just very calmly mentioning it the next time you two hang out
yedam
cocky 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
loves it when you hit him up and gets such an ego boost from it, will definitely mock you for needing him so much and ask you if you're that desperate for him (say yes i promise you won't regret it)
would probably get a rush out of fucking in places y'all shouldn't (his studio, the practice room, the dorms when someone else is home, you know the drill) and honestly would want to do it a lot too lol
ON THE TOPIC OF STUDIO SEX ....... he will definitely be a sucker for late night sex in the studio, with some mood lighting and stuff. would probably write a fun summer song that is actually about sex and say you're his muse or some cheesy shit like that lol
if he does catch feelings first he will be a mix of yoshi and hyunsuk. freaks out a lil bit first but then does his best to (subtly) show you how he'd treat you if you give him a chance at a serious relationship
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main masterlist | treasure masterlist
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icabrth · 8 months
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beautiful things don’t ask for attention
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pairings: walter junior x fem!reader
summary:
warnings: ableism? bullying?😣 swearing..
a/n: this was requested. It’s kinda short, but I hope it’s okay lol.
masterlist
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The two of you met on your first year of high school. Though you were both freshmen you were on complete opposite side of the spectrum; you were popular and well-liked amongst the crowds, while he was a disabled, stuttering loser with crutches. No one would’ve ever expected you to get together, let alone associate with one another – but you weren’t superficial like you your friends.
You had never seen him outside of school, you would sometimes see him hanging out with his friends by the bleachers or walking around the yard. From time, you would catch some jocks picking on him, and you’d say something. Every time you did, he looked surprised. Like he hadn’t expected you to stand up for him, even on the third time that you did it.
One day, you and Junior were put together for an english assignment. He invited you over to his house to study, and you agreed. You got along great, and at the same time you became acquainted with his buzzard family. There was always something going on with them.
You were working on the project together in his room, discussing different topics you could go over. It was the weekend, so you had spent most of your day at his house. It was getting late now, but you didn’t notice. One thing you realized whilst working with him is that Junior was a lot more talkative with people he felt comfortable around.
“Right? But then he tuh-turns out to be a cop!” He exclaimed, recalling to you that time he and his friends tried to get strangers to buy them liquor.
“What! Are you fucking serious?” You laughed, collapsing in his bed beside his sitting form. “H-how do you recover from that!”. He peered down at you, inspecting your every feature. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why you hung out with him. The simple act of being seen with him in public was social suicide, and you had so much to lose–
“Walter what the fuck are you doing! Jesus Christ!” His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his mother, screaming at his father. He was used to this. In fact, so used to it that he was about to go straight back to his thoughts, but this was fairly new to you. “Shit, you think we should check on them or something?” You asked, sitting up straight with an anxious expression. Even with your eyebrows furrowed you still looked so beautiful, flawless.
“No, no it’s okay– they do this all the time,” he attempted a chuckle. Part of him wanted to laugh, part of him wanted to cry. It came out as kind of a mixture. You put your hand on his thigh, but didn’t say anything. You figured this was humiliating enough as it was.
But that was a few ago – right now you had joined him and his family find him a new pair of jeans. Junior originally didn’t want you to come; he was embarrassed to be going with his family in the first place, but you insisted. He agreed but not before warning you about their overprotective nature.
“It’s alright, Junior. I get it. My parents are protective too!” You assured him, but he sighed. “No, uh.. they’re just a little much because of… y-you know-“ he tried to explain, motioning to his body. You looked at him as he avoided eye contact. “Oh..” you said, not knowing exactly what to say.
You had taken notice to his disability, but you didn’t stop there. You also noticed the way his smile was slightly crooked, his generosity towards you, his unmatched humor and so many other things. It upset you to think about how something so external could define his entire being, and there was nothing to do about it.
You were looking at different pairs in another section, when you suddenly heard commotion. “Yo, ding-ding-ding-dingus!” Some jocks from school laughed cruelly from across the store. His parents were about to say something, but Junior stopped them shamefully. You had never felt so infuriated with another person in your entire life. You stormed up to the main guy who immediately noticed your presence. “Oh, look! It’s the freak’s little girlfriend–!”
SMACK!
Your hand collided with his cheek, so hard that he stumbled over a bit. The stinging in your hand was bearable. Whilst he was still comprehending what had just happened, your foot went straight for his balls, finally knocking him to the ground.
The people around you let out gasps, some attempting to film the incident. You still weren’t entirely contempt with the damage, but before you could do any more the guy scrambled off the ground and made a fun for it. “Ayo, this chick is fucking crazy!” He yelled, voice cracking as he ran out of the store.
You turned around to meet the judging gazes of the rest of the store. To your surprise, skyler and walter looked overjoyed, proud. It was almost a little scary, they didn’t seem at all shaken up at your scene. “Sorry,” you mumbled. “But he deserved it.”
His parents left to look for some other clothing, and you walked up to Junior. You were sort of scared to see his face after what you’d done. Would he be mad, scared of you, disappointed? “Hey,” you said.
He didn’t reply at first, observing the material on the jeans. “Why did you do that?” He asked. It was quiet, genuine and you couldn’t understand why he would ask that. “What do you mean? They were being assholes.” You stated.
“Yeah, wuh-well.. they’re r-right, you know? I am a freak.” He said. “I cub-can’t even suh-say a full sen-sentence!” It looked like he was going to cry and you couldn’t bare the sight. You put both your hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eye with a serious expression. “Junior, l need you to listen to me very carefully right now. You are not a freak.” You said it so sternly, almost like a mother scolding her child.
“I’ve seen the way you shy away from attention, the way you try to hide yourself – it just makes people notice you more!” You sighed, unsure of how to word what you were about to say.
“Beautiful things don’t ask for attention, Junior.”
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thedarkestgreys · 5 months
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I don’t want you to miss me, it’s tearing me apart- fexi
a follow up to this one here! The fact that Lexi even let him cross the threshold of her moms house felt like more than Fezco could even hope for.
He was being completely honest when he told her that he hadn’t meant to disappear for so long. That night, when everything went to shit, they ain’t gotta whole lot of time to prep an exit plan with a dead body is chillin’ on the couch, you know what he’s saying?
They had fully expected the Feds to come knockin’ down their front door, only to be surprised as fuck when it was Laurie and her goon squad. In return for coverin’ the tracks of the misdeeds done at the O’Neill brothers home, they had to work off a favor for their supplier - simple enough. Fez had naively thought he and Ash would leave for two or three weeks - just enough time for everything to settle down - and then slip right back into their lives in East Highland when the work was done.
But nothin’ with Laurie was ever that easy, was it?
“She kept you in New York City for eight months?” Lexi asks incredulously as Fez finishes explainin’ what had gone on since the night he skipped town.
He rubs an anxious hand across his scar. “We was travelin’ up and down the East coast for a while, but yeah, mostly based out of New York City ma.”
Lexi’s fingers grip the edge of her moms sofa as she worries at her bottom lip with her teeth. “What exactly did she have you doing all that time?”
“Had us selling at universities mostly,” he replies, picking anxiously at a rip in his jeans. “All ‘em fancy ass ones you told me about last year? Buncha old money East coast motherfuckers attend those joints Lex, they got money to fuckin’ spare.”
Beside him, Lexi curls in on herself a little, planting her chin on her knees as she hums her acknowledgment.
“So like,” she starts, foot tapping anxiously on the couch cushion. “Why didn’t you try and reach out?”
Fezco heaves a sigh, falling back into the cushion behind him, eyes closed as he thinks about his answer. He has a lot of fuckin’ guilt attached to that one - ‘cause he knows he had avenues to do that exact thing - but the risk here outweighed the reward in his mind. If Laurie had found out he was in touch with Lexi… he don’t even wanna fuckin’ think about it.
“It didn’t feel right baby.” He finally settles on something that’s mostly the truth.
“But letting me think you were dead was fine?” Lexi snaps, the anxiety that had previously been in her voice giving way to anger. “Do you even know… did you even think about what I was fucking going through back here?”
Fez turns his head to face Lexi, her brown eyes brimming with tears. Quietly he reaches out his hand, finding hers where it’s still gripping the edge of the cushion for dear life, and wraps his fingers around hers.
“Course I fuckin’ did,” he responds hoarsly, watchin’ as a couple of tears manage to spill down Lexi’s cheeks. “Thought about you every fuckin’ day Lex, but talkin’ to you would have made it worse.”
“Made what worse?” Lexi cries, tears falling freely down her face now. “I would have been content knowing you were alive goddammit. Fezco, I would have taken missing you over thinking you were dead any day of the fucking week.”
Jesus fuckin’ Christ this conversation is somehow even harder than telling her everything that got them to this point. “Lexi. I had to put my head down and work my fuckin’ debt off to get back here, to get back to you. It woulda been harder to do if I was thinkin’ ‘bout how much I didn’t want you to miss me, but I promise that shit was tearin’ me up the whole damn time.”
Silence engulfs them then, Fezco soothing small circles over Lexi’s knuckles as she wipes furiously at her tears. It’s like a sadder, more heartbroken version of the night they watched Stand By Me. Fez doesn’t try to force a conversation, just allows Lexi to take all the time she needs to collect herself - he’s always been a patient man when it comes to the girl beside him.
Finally she clears her throat and he looks up to her. “Does showing up at my house mean you’re back? You said you didn’t know where else to go, and I have no idea what that means.”
Fez heaves a giant sigh, cause it would be hella nice if things were that fuckin’ easy. When they were told they had their leave to come back to Cali, he thought that was that, you know? Leave it up to fuckin’ Rue to screw things up for him even when she thought he was dead.
Yeah girl, I’m back. But um… things ain’t quite square with our supplier yet. New information got dumped on me while we were drivin’ back. Dropped Ash off at our new place and knew I needed to come talk to you.”
Lexi's eyes go wide and he knows he needs to continue.
“Issa ‘bout Rue.”
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Let's say the reader is a big dumb idiot who fucked up their antidepressants and is out of commission for a day or two (weak and tired, foggy headed, ANXIOUS AS HELL, etc). How would the BTAS dork squad take care of them in their time of need?
"Messed up Medications" BTAS Dork Squad X reader
Well first of all I would tell this reader personally that things happen and sometimes we mess up our meds. I hope by the time you read this, you're feeling better!!
TW: mental health talk, depression, mind control, hospital abuse
Scarecrow
He's the one who understands the most- not only psychologically but chemically as well. He'll be looking up all of your medications and ensuring another dose isn't missed. Best to get you back on track, after all.
Expect him to ask a lot of questions about your mental state. One, he wants to know where you're at and two, he will always take the chance to dig inside your mind a little further. A habit of his, you could say.
"Does it make you scared to know it's so simple as missing a pill?" He won't use it against you, mind you. But it's something he feels a compulsion to know.
Do you know what you need? Something baked. Something comforting for the upcoming days. Being a chemist as he makes fear toxin, he's figured out baking isn't too far off from that. He can make a mean pie if you wanted.
He'll set you up in front of the TV or some other low-focus activity you enjoy and bake you whatever you'd like. He doesn't have much of a body for cuddling, but he'll make do with his "old" bones, dear.
Riddler
Ah, shouldn't you have a system for this already? It's not scolding, more a blunt question. If you don't, he'll simply have to design one for you. Expect it to be just a little eccentric and very suited to his tastes. HOWEVER, it will get the job done and you'll likely never miss another dose.
He understands the science of it, but explain to him your symptoms and what will help. He would rather learn from you directly than his personal experiences of Arkham doctors shoving various anti-depressants and god knows what else down his throat hoping one would work and then suffering the ill effects of withdrawals.
He's not very good at mind-numbing or relaxing mentally, so he's not the best with this. Do you want a puzzle box? Some sort of toy you have to unlink? Or a video game...
Frighteningly quickly, he's made you a small video game that is very simplistic but entertaining. There's a lot of love involved, you can tell from the way the NPCs interact with you, the player. They say your name and tell you what a wonderful person you are.
If you say anything to him about it being sweet, he turns beet red.
Mad Hatter
Poor dear! Nothing to fear- he can fix this, he's sure. He understands the compounds of your medication and how it effects the neurotransmitters of your brain- would it help if he tried explaining that? As "silly" as he is, he knows straight logic can make a situation feel better.
No, no, he understands. Why don't you just relax and he'll read to you? Truly, he does the best voices for Alice and Wonderland. But you knew that already. Something intimate and soft where you can rest your head on his shoulder or in his lap.
So much reassurance. You could ask him every hour on the hour if he still loves you/if he's mad at you and never seems bothered. He wants you to feel safe and loved when you're not feeling well.
If it's truly too much, he'd be glad to have you "under" for a while until it all passes. Test out some light modifications he's made to the mind control devices he's worked on. It'll be like you're asleep!
Yes, he will dress you up and the like if you agree, it's definitely a win-win in his mind. He'll bring you up every once in a while to see how you're feeling. You can be in Wonderland as long as you like.
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lqwrvsso · 7 months
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Lawrusso Headcanon (post 1984 tournament) : Johnny has a panic attack and Daniel helps him calm down by putting his headphones over his ears, knowing that one of Johnny’s vices to keep him from spiralling is his music on his Walkman . 
i've wanted to post this for a long time but I always forget kjdsnkdsj probably i'll continue this? not sure though
also gimme more headcanons or numbers so i can write when i have nothing to do !!
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He wasn't going to lie, it was weird having Johnny around.
It was weird watching him smile a little every time he saw him, and it was weird looking at Johnny so lonely, so one day he said what the hell and sat with him for lunch.
Johnny looked at him like he was about to kick his ass, but when Daniel smiled awkwardly at him and started eating like just sitting next to the person that used to bully you was the most normal thing in the world, Johnny sighed and didn't say a word.
It started like that. Just lunch, both of them, no one else.
At first, none of them talked.
Then, it was just Daniel. You know, him telling Johnny about Mr. Miyagi, about what Ma made last night to eat, about how he was thinking about starting preparing lunch for himself because the cafeteria one sucked, stuff like that.
But then, Daniel decided to say that Iron Eagle wasn't that good, and Johnny started talking. First he was a little mad, but then he realized that Daniel only said that to make him say something and, fuck. He got to give the boy a point for that.
Even if Daniel was the one that made that first move for a change, it was still weird to be... Friends with him.
To actually hang out with him just because. Just because they were bored. Just because they wanted to go get something to drink or to eat or because they just wanted to.
Daniel realized that he started caring too much for him, and that didn't annoy him.
Daniel started to understand him. Like, truly understand him. How to difference a simple sigh that could mean don't talk to me or I need someone.
How to difference if Sid did something or if it was just a bad day. Normally it was always the first one.
He learned how to calm him down. How to help him to feel better.
That day was being a really bad one. Johnny was in a horrible mood, and even screamed at Bobby.
He never screams at Bobby.
And, Bobby almost begged him to keep an eye on him.
"Why me?"
"You know why, Daniel. Just- please."
"I don't understand-"
"You do. Please, just-"
"I will, okay. I'll do it."
Bobby said he should understand, but he didn't. If Johnny didn't want his best friend close, why would he want Daniel?
He is having lunch just with you every day.
He sighed, looking at Johnny, sitting under a tree far from everything, with a notebook and a pencil, moving his leg anxiously.
Daniel bit his lip, frowning. Trying to figure it out what was happening on his mind.
When it was time to go to class, Johnny didn't even move. Daniel frowned again.
It wasn't that weird for Johnny to skip some classes, but since they started being more close, Johnny always went to those that shares with him. And he wasn't giving any sign that he was going to stand up.
When they were almost alone there, Daniel looking from a distance and Johnny just looking at his notebook, Daniel noticed something else; Johnny wasn't holding the pencil, he was almost squeezing it. The only times where Johnny did that was when a teacher was annoying him, or when he was trying not to cry. It happened a couple of times in his place, when Johnny went there, of all places, after Sid started being an asshole to him.
So maybe it was that bad.
Daniel started walking closer to him, and he noticed more stuff. Like, Johnny clenching his jaw and breathing hard, he wasn't even moving or drawing anything.
When Daniel sat next to him, Johnny sighed.
And Daniel didn't say anything; he just took Johnny's backpack and took his Walkman out of it, putting REO Speedwagon, because that was their band and, apparently, that works for an anxious and panicking Johnny.
Johnny closed his eyes and a tear fell just when Daniel put his headphones over his ears, the music slowly making its way against Johnny's thoughts.
Daniel smiled when Johnny opened his eyes and starting drawing a tiny him. He knows me by memory, he thought, at least his mind is somewhere else now.
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possessedramblings · 6 days
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No upside down au but things aren't magically okay
TW! Parental abuse, neglect & abandonment, Racism (Billy Hargrove is a piece of shit) Alcoholism, bullying and sexual harassment
Things aren't just happy and great because the Upside Down doesn't exist, and I want to write about it, so this is my take and my AU.
Will, Jonathan and Joyce are still in poverty, on the brink of nothingness, and it doesn't help that Lonnie is a piece of shit, who still has occasional custody of the boys. Every other weekend, Joyce is alone in her little house, while the boys are with their father, because the three of them are too afraid to speak up.
Mike and Nancy don't get along, plain and simple. It's not because they're siblings and because "siblings fight" but because they're in a broken home. Karen is out some nights seeing her "lover" and Ted is just the worst. He yells at the kids, shames Nancy, belittles her to the point that she leaves Mike alone. He hates her because she can leave, which is why he begs for a bike, or to spend the night somewhere, anywhere but home.
Dustin is the kid of a single mother, who is overbearing on him. She's an anxious woman who fears Dustin's gonna get hurt. He gets bullied at school, and not just insulting words. He gets shoved, his d&d dice, books, hats, and other things get stolen, and sometimes he comes home with bruises from the older kids.
Lucas has it fine at home, but once he leaves it's no longer anything happy. He's afraid to spend time with his friends because of Billy and all of the other assholes. He constantly gets harassed because of his skin, the way he talks, the way he looks, and it gets even worse when he starts talking to Max. His parents worry that one day, he won't come home.
Max couldn't hate life more. She's always angry, and it's all her moms fault. Her mom decided that Neil Hargrove was a good man, but it led to a life of absolute fucking pain. Billy was angry with her, for what - she didn't know. Neil was a drunk, he'd drink and drink for hours, using bottles as weapons against everyone else in the house. She saw the same hatred in Mike Wheeler, which caused her to lash out at him, but she knew it wasn't his fault, it was their parents.
Jane's mom couldn't properly care for her, something about a neurological disease that would get worse as the years passed. So she was given up to a foster home. Poor Jane was young, ad could hardly speak, let alone know her own name, so the man, Brenner, didn't care to know names. Jane, now Eleven, didn't know how she got there, or why, but she grew up believing her mother hated her, until she ran away after the oldest kid there snapped.
Steve never knew what his parents were like. They were always away. They'd bring back snow globes from every state airport in the country, but that's all he knew about them. He started to act out so he could possibly get their attention. He stopped once he finally saw something he hadn't noticed before. Jonathan wasn't flinching when he hit. He was just as bad as any old abuser. He tried to turn himself around, he really did. He had to change, especially after seeing Dustin, Lucas and Mike being thrown around by Billy.
Robin knew she never had it easy. She grew up in the trailer parks after her mom and dad lost their jobs ad had to find somewhere else. Her parents jumped between jobs for a long time, and once Robin was old enough, they gave her an old hand me down bike and set her on her way. She knew life was even harder after she discovered her undeniable crush on Tammy Thompson. She would be a town pariah if anyone found out.
Nancy on the other hand, was a town pariah. Her home was the least of her problems. She was humiliated by a man, by several men. Steve Harrington and Tommy Hagan calling her a slut, her own father accusing her of being a whore, and her employers objectifying her at every chance they could get. Nancy felt just like an object for the pleasure of men, so she started learning to defend herself, wanting to be her own woman, but too afraid to deep down.
Jonathan always pushed back how he felt for his mom and brother. Joyce was a struggling woman, and Will was so young, he didn't want his brother to feel like the world was so cold and dark, so he took more hits for the both of them. He took hits from Steve and Tommy, he wanted to keep everyone else safe so he took hits.
Things aren't happy in Hawkins, but we can certainly pretend.
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