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#i also think their relationship will shape into friends that are rivals but i couldn't fit that in the fic
getawayfox · 10 months
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Do you have favorite Drarry tropes :)?
Hi Anon! Thank you for sending this ask and giving me an excuse to make another self-indulgent rec list. It was so much fun - mainly because I haven’t been reading much in the last few weeks, so revisiting my favourites for this has been an absolute blast. 
I’m a soft bean and while I will read and enjoy angsty tropes on occasion, you’ll more likely find me searching for wholesome stories. And smut. So, here is a handful of favourites for my most sought-after tropes. I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I do!
👬 Established relationship
Dragon by @lqtraintracks (M, 356 words) Things get interesting when your husband's Patronus is a Romanian Ridgeback.
It Is I Who Will Surely Expire by @tepre (T, 1k)
I call this: Draco Malfoy is super awake at 3AM staring at the ceiling going over dramatic doom scenarios (while Harry drools on his chest)
Through the Window, Clear Skies by @tackytigerfic (M, 1.4k)
What would happen if Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy moved in together, too soon after they started kissing and then fucking and not hating each other anymore? Will Draco insist on a wine rack? Or: Domestic Drarry with a bare hint of angst.
acts of service by @oknowkiss (E, 5.6k)
Harry's sick, and Draco just wants to take care of him, but they're two idiots in love, so it couldn't possibly be that easy.
✨Bonus: this piece by @bluebutter-art
🤍 Found family
Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (M, 15k)
Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. Living with Draco (biscuit-lover, no work/life balance, good hair) and his son Scorpius (also biscuit-lover, colour-codes his bricks, proud bearer of plastic swan-shaped garden ornament) gives Harry the routine and companionship he’s always craved. There’s also the matter of the really great sex (because what’s a marriage of convenience without a little fun, after all?) It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year… This isn't the story of the marriage. This is the story of two hurt and damaged men who learned how hard they could work for the sake of love.
Beneath the Wave by @moonflower-rose (M, 30k)
Harry is done with a life in the spotlight. No more adventures, no more mortal peril. He wants a quiet life of food and friends, and family. He even manages to have it for a while, until suddenly there are giant rabbits that need ferrying to a mysterious island, and a handsome Draco Malfoy, and Harry's right back in the middle of the action again, despite his best efforts.
Pages of You by @wolfpants (E, 101k)
Summer, 1980. Harry is floating between university and becoming a Real Certified Adult. He's not ready. He really isn't. In a desperate attempt to have the Best Last Summer ever, he takes a casual job at his godfather's bookshop in London, starts an illicit pen pal affair with a wordy posh boy that he's catching feelings for, all while dealing with the son of Sirius's business rival, one Draco Malfoy, insufferable know-it-all extraordinaire. A story about trying to figure out who you are, where you're going in life, and who you want to take along with you.
Make This Leap by @oflights (M, 118k)
Harry owns a struggling restaurant which is running out of money, and his Head Chef has just handed in notice. He's at a bit of a loss as to what to do until Narcissa Malfoy presents an obvious solution: bring in Draco Malfoy as Chef and part owner. Harry does.
✨Bonus: more art by @bluebutter-art
🍋 Smut with feelings
First Times by @fw00shy (E, 1.5k)
Their first time is in the loo.
Your Breath, My Lungs by @wolfpants (E, 1.7k)
I try not to think of the years we have behind us. School was a lost cause, it was always going to be a lost cause, but in the time since—Eighth Year, all of us cautiously coming together the way we had, how we all ended up, how we are now, nine years later, friends and loved ones and infinitely intertwined—I can’t help but worry if it’s too late for us. Maybe I’ve waited too long to tell him how I feel. - During a friend's engagement party, Harry finally tells Draco how he feels about him.
Flip/Fuck by @shealwaysreads (E, 1.8k)
Switch: to give up (something) and take something else in return
The Night of the Fireworks by @corvuscrowned (E, 6.3)
It isn't easy keeping a relationship a secret, especially when it's so new. So if Harry and Draco can find a moment to sneak off for some alone time, they're going to take it - even if it happens to be during Ginny and Luna's wedding party.
✨Bonus: Cake by the Ocean by @bluebutter-art (E, art)
On Harry's 42nd birthday, Draco treats him to a romantic getaway at the Malfoy's private beach in Sicily.
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ok so ep 15 was a lot... but here are some thoughts anyways:
I think first things first: Yu Rim and Hee Do
It's heartbreaking, and in some ways beautiful how they've depicted the growth of their relationship over this whole show. I'll probably end up talking about this again tomorrow. But they've gone from a fan-idol relationship with the addition of an anonymous online friendship, to a rivalry, to best friends who can be entirely honest with each other, to now becoming rivals by circumstance. So much of this show has been about how your circumstance shapes and defines you, and this has certainly been true in this ep. It was heartbreaking to see how by being separated they lost the other person as the one friend who truly, truly understands their circumstances. Watching their match was also nervewracking, becuase despite knowing that Hee Do won, they did so well in using the match to show how they've been forced into beocming rivals again: everyone is pushing for Hee Do to win so she can keep the gold in Korea, pushing for her to prove that she too isn't a traitor, that she isn't just what they had left after Yu Rim chose to move. Then Yu Rim, she's being pushed to prove that she can keep her gold, to prove that she's good no matter where she is, that she is not someone they can hate for not winning. I think Hee Do made the right choice in refusing to see her before the match tbh, it hurt but so much had happened they wouldn't have had enough time to sort it all out before the match and she needed to win. Also nice little call back there when Hee Do protested the refs call... And can we talk about how haunting the moment after Hee Do won was? When it sounds like everything is underwater, all muffled and disjointed? Only for the sound to come back as they take their masks off and both are crying?
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Then Hee Do and her mom + Yi Jin:
I'm happy to see that their relationship continues to improve. I adore the fact that other than the potential struggles they will face because of tehir careers her two bits of advice have been: get along, and, don't fight. Also that her reaction to finding out that they're dating was basically "finally". She has her faults undoubtedly but she does love her daughter and it seems as if she's trying to be more open in her support. The little moment she and Yi Jin shared when Hee Do won the gold was very sweet. Him quietly congratulating her, her tearing up, her congratulating him on having a girlfriend he can be proud of. And while in some ways yes her advice/point about their relationship struggling with their careers may seem a it harsh I'd like to say that a) keep in mind that their primary manner of communication some 4 years previous was yelling, and b) that she was honest and in some ways that was probalbly an act of kindness from her as well. She did just watch her duaghter deflate after finding out Yi Jin couldn't come to dinner.
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Finally: Hee Do and Yi Jin
there's both so much to say and also nothing... Once again we see the role of circumstance: I'll be honest I had entirely spaced on the fact that yes 9/11 would be sometime around this time, but that being the situation which separates them is both heartbnrekaing and realistic. It was a massive event with consequences that no one could entirely foresee, and Yi Jin is a young reporter who has just transfered to another department who we the audience know to be highly emphatetic and willing to cover the stories with the most human angle possible. It's the perfect combination which would result in him being away from Seoul for a period of time. It is hard to watch them be separated but it is both entirely in charcter and realistic. While I obviously want to see them happy and together, I will admit if they have to get separated at any point I do much prefer another case of realistic circumstances than the option of him having to cover a story about her and their rleationship being ruined by that. But seeing them happy and giddy and in love...? Oh it was beautiful. Love the fact that he is such an unbashedly clingy boyfriend, so much so that his colleagues bring him updates about her.
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Honorable mentions:
What is the necklace Hee Do wore the entire episode? It looks a bit like a key?
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Coach and Hee Do: I love their relationship, it was fun hearing Hee Do repeat what coach said about only picking winners. Though I think my favourite moment was when they were filming the training and Hee Do told coach that it was creeping her out that she was being so nice
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Glad to see Seung Wan and Ji Woong doing their thing and Ji Woong and Yu Rim still going strong. Also Seung Wan's mom calling Hee DO her loach baby... fabulous, and Yu Rim's mom congratulating both of them...
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Anyways, I will be sad for this show to end it has truly been a pleasure, still maybe hoping against hope for a happy ending and barring that at least a satisfactory one!
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akkivee · 3 years
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hey so like, arb kind of validated me on how i like to think ichikuu reunion could go??? i’ve been on the fence posting fic since i’m not a writer and haven’t been one for like, eight years but 👉👈 i kinda feel good about it soooooo
i’ll share lol it's apparently around 3k words and i've been slowly chipping away at it for a year but it's a full fledged fic
Untitled
tw: kuukou and ichiro have potty mouths lol, ichiro belatedly realising he’d been on his way to an anxiety attack but nothing graphic
——
‘Watching you and the other members of The Dirty Dawg come together was kind of like watching a clash of titans,’ Saburo had admitted to Ichiro on a rare Sunday morning where the fourteen year old was up before noon without Ichiro’s wake up call, despite mucking around on his computer long into the late night hours.
Ichiro, amused at the time, threw a smile at his brother as he set a small portion of fruit for him to sleepily nibble on while breakfast finished cooking. He wasn’t sure why Saburo’s sleep addled mind decided on this as his topic for discussion, but with his brother’s hero worship, Ichiro could follow his thought process.
Still, ‘Oh, yeah?’ Ichiro prompted, knowing Saburo had plenty more to say.
Saburo hummed, sleepily finishing his bite of mango and blueberry. ‘You probably don’t get it, since they were your old teammates but the tension was palpable, Ichi-nii. Even though you were just standing around, talking to each other, the air was charged; anybody could tell that you were each other’s fated opponents.’
Here, Saburo pouted, eyes flicking down as he recalled the scene,
‘Especially between you and Aohitsugi Samatoki. I felt paralysed the moment you looked at each other, never mind when you brought out your mics.’
At that, Ichiro had laughed sheepishly as he ruffled Saburo’s hair, apologising again for his behaviour that day.
That conversation on that arbitrary Sunday bubbled up to mind, unsurprisingly Ichiro supposed, as he stared at Harai Kuukou, standing not even twenty feet away from him, outside the walls of Chuuoku and found himself unable to breathe.
Ichiro could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Pain spiked from the meat of his palms as his nails bit into his flesh. His vision tunnelled in on Kuukou alone and Ichiro came to the startling realisation that he was a lot less prepared to see his old partner than he thought he was.
“Aniki?” Jiro’s voice filtered in, muffled, but close and it was enough to fend off what had been probably shaping up to be an anxiety attack. “What’s up? Why’d we stop?”
It was a simple query, one Ichiro didn’t have the voice to answer. It was fortunate, then, that at twenty feet away, Jiro’s voice carried out and brought Kuukou’s attention straight to him with laser focus.
Maybe it was having those bright, gold eyes on him again for the first time in two years (two years far too long) that pulled the air right out of him, and he breathed,
“Kuukou.”
“…Ichiro,” Kuukou croaked, and his name sounded as if it had been gutted out from his core.
The two of them stared, shell-shocked, for what had to have been minutes stretched out to feel like hours. Ichiro found, however meagre it was, some solace in seeing that Kuukou, too, seemed to have been blindsided by their sudden encounter.
(A fated encounter sounded pretty apt, some distant part of Ichiro chimed in.)
“Master Kuukou,” a low, liltingly voice crooned by Kuukou’s shoulder as a tall, almost waif-like, man struck a rather dramatic pose behind him, “Is this an acquaintance of yours?” Almost simultaneously, Ichiro’s brothers made similar inquiries and Ichiro knew whatever spell had been cast upon them had broken when the shock on Kuukou’s face faded into something colder and unreadable.
The reality of the situation was just as much of a slap in the face.
They were outside the Chuuoku walls, the second division rap battle only days away. He and Kuukou were not reuniting as possible friends; he had his brothers as his team and Kuukou his own.
So when Kuukou scoffed and turned his back on him, Ichiro understood. This was just the nature of the game they were in.
“Let’s go, Jyushi, Hitoya,” Kuukou muttered as he marched away, ignoring his teammates annoyed grumbling and worried simpering.
Without even a word or a backwards glance at Ichiro.
It’s just the name of the game.
Rage, red hot and scathing, bubbled up anyway.
“So that’s it then?!” Ichiro thundered, his blood boiling as it carried him forward. He felt arms encircle his waist and hands pull back his arms, his brothers’ worried shouts registering somewhere in the back of his mind but years of anger, frustration, confusion and hurt were pouring from every pore in his body and he couldn’t stop it even if he was able to.
“You show up again after all these years and don’t say shit huh?! You’re really just gonna run away again like a little bitch with its tail tucked underneath the balls you wish you had?!”
It was all heat of the moment bullshit Ichiro knew he wouldn’t be able to recall later. His anger burned too hot and smoked out everything that wasn’t Kuukou, making Kuukou acknowledge him, making Kuukou look at him, Kuukou, Kuukou, Kuukou—!!
Kuukou’s head swiveled sharp and the white hot anger in his eyes left Ichiro suddenly feeling like ice.
“Back the fuck off, Ichiro.”
Any words that he may have had left to say clogged in his throat and again, he watched Kuukou walk away from him.
--
(You’d think, after watching every single person you’d ever cared about throughout your lifetime turn their back to you and leave you behind, that you would get used to feeling adrift after, however short it had been, your heart had felt full.
It was a bitter thought.
Ichiro let that one stay buried.)
--
There wasn’t a place on his body that didn’t ache and every step he took felt heavy and sluggish; all signs pointed that Ichiro definitely shouldn’t be moving around but…
Well.
He’s had quite the weekend.
Turns out, with all his personal drama with Kuukou getting dragged to the surface, he’d forgotten that his father was also participating in the division rap battle. With Sasara, no less.
And to make matters more complicated, Samatoki specifically sought him out to…
Ichiro immediately compartmentalized that specific conversation to ruminate on another day when he wasn’t so exhausted, both physically and mentally.
Limping through the hotel’s automatic doors felt like an odd achievement but he relished it as he looked up into the Chuuoku night sky. He took in a deep breath of fresh air, some of the the tension immediately loosening his shoulders.
Yeah, this impromptu night stroll was about to do fucking wonders for him.
“Ohh, Ichiro! Just the man I wanted to see!”
What little smile had begun to form on his face, froze along with every other part of his body.
And as his luck would have it, there he was; Harai Kuukou once again not even twenty feet away, idly lounging on the hotel’s outdoor décor without a care in the world.
“K-Kuukou…” Ichiro stammered, shell-shocked and completely unable to process how wild this weekend continued to be. Given how Kuukou outright laughed at him, it was was probably showing on his face.
(Ichiro’s heart fluttered and his head oh so helpfully reminded him that it’s been two years since he last heard Kuukou’s laugh. Very helpful. Such an amazing thought to have. Seriously.)
Kuukou hopped off his resting spot, gait easy as can be as he approached Ichiro with a lazy grin. “So it been that kind of day, huh, Ichiro? Too bad I’m about to make it worse, hyahaha!” That smile slid off his face as he came to a stop in front of him, meeting his eyes as if he were throwing down a challenge.
“You wanted to talk; let’s talk. I got shit I need to tell you.”
And with that, Kuukou snatched up his hand and dragged Ichiro forward.
“Ow—what the hell—Kuukou, hey, wait a second—”
“Hyahaha, nah man! If I give you any time to think, you’re going to pussy out on me! Gotta strike when the iron’s still hot!”
He probably wasn’t wrong, Ichiro gave him begrudgingly and almost tripped on the final step out of the hotel property and into Chuuoku’s night life.
“Where are we even going?” he grumbled as he sped his pace up to prevent any more potentially hazardous missteps.
“I dunno? I’m kinda hungry so probably somewhere we can eat.”
“You do realize it’s after midnight, yeah? We’re underage; there can’t be many places that’d let us in.” Ichiro deadpanned absentmindedly, taking in the moving advertisements and bright lights, assorted from neon, to fluorescents, to warm yellows illuminating the multiple businesses still open along their path. Even the night life inside the walls shone brighter, Ichiro wearily scoffed.
“Yeah, but get this,” Kuukou looked over his shoulder and grinned, wide and cocksure, at Ichiro, who did his damnedest to not compare it to lights around them like a fucking sap. “We’re celebrities, Ichiro! Ain’t nobody gonna give a rat’s ass about a couple of brats when they’re famous and fair game for some casual ogling!”
Kuukou laughed, loud as was his characteristic, and again, Ichiro had to admit he was probably right.
He pouted at Kuukou’s back, knowing anything else he’d try to use to protest this happening now would only sound like flimsy excuses and privately gave in to letting Kuukou take him to wherever struck his fancy.
(He tried not to think about how little he actually minded getting pulled along to Kuukou’s pace right now. His face felt hot. God, he was embarrassing.)
--
Kuukou took him to a goddamn McDonald’s, effectively making their previous dispute moot. While it was a bit of a surprise the dining room was still open, their age definitely wasn’t a concern. The girl manning the register was starstruck, barely managing to greet them with her slack jaw. Given how the McDonald’s was virtually empty, she probably didn’t expect two well known men to waltz into the cheap dinery. Not that Kuukou noticed; his undivided attention was focused solely on the menu and figuring out what he wanted to eat.
Their orders were placed with little hassle, though it did take a little while to come out since Kuukou apparently was more than ‘kinda’ hungry and ordered quite a bit—
(“Damn, Kuukou, did you order the whole menu?”
“Shut up, let’s see you fight Jinguji Jakurai’s team and not come out feeling hungry as fuck.”),
—and took their spot next to a wide glass window on the second story the McDonald’s had to offer.
Kuukou immediately attacked one of his three burgers with gusto, and as he started to nibble on his order of Mega Potato fries, Ichiro took the time to just… look at Kuukou.
Though his face was littered with bandages from his time during the Division Rap Battle, he looked well. He didn’t change much at all, Ichiro observed upon his initial cursory sweep; his vibrant red hair was still short, his ears were still riddled with piercings, and he seemed to still favour wearing sukajan jackets that wound up a bit large on his frame.
The little things—changes—filtered through faster than Ichiro wanted to admit. He didn’t slick back his short fringe anymore. He seemed to have added to his piercings and changed the location of a few. His long eyelashes looked darker and more defined; he was wearing mascara, Ichiro thought with a faint amount of surprise. Gone was the plain coloured tee and his black school uniform trousers, replaced by monk robes. That neckline was… generous and Ichiro could tell Kuukou had bulked up a little bit compared to two years ago.
Two years was a long time, Ichiro thought to himself. Plenty of time to grow up and change with the different, separate lives they led. For instance, and he recalled the memory with stark clarity, the Kuukou he knew two years ago wouldn’t have been able to treat him with such cold indifference and walk away from the fight he was trying to pick with him a few days ago.
That was the most unsettling change, Ichiro thought. It was that, that made him realise he didn’t know this Kuukou at all.
Ichiro’s jaw tightened.
He likened it to watching a train wreck in the making; Ichiro couldn’t stop himself from starting over from the top to find any other changes he could discern, only to find Kuukou’s eyes watching him right back.
Ichiro startled, and nearly choked on his fry. He broke eye contact long to chug half his cup of coke to stave off a coughing fit but Kuukou was still staring at him when he returned his attention back to him. He could feel a blush burn his face and he scowled at Kuukou, as if it would cover it up or something.
“…What’re you looking at?” Ichiro grouched, sliding down in his seat and subtly trying to hide his face in his hood.
He expected Kuukou to mock Ichiro for obviously not being able handle what he dished out, but Kuukou merely shrugged.
“You look well, ‘s all.”
Ichiro didn’t respond.
Kuukou leaned back in his chair after stuffing the last bite of… his last burger (damn) and haphazardly flicking the wrapper on his tray. He turned to look out the window, gaze pensive, and Ichiro recognized the motion for what it was; he was trying to give himself time to think as he finished chewing his last bite.
…Kuukou from two years ago wouldn’t have stopped to consider his words at all, something ugly within him whispered.
“I ain’t… gonna apologise for the other day,” Kuukou started haltingly, gaze still focused out the window. “I didn’t want to air out our dirty laundry in front of my team and your little bros since that shit should stay between you and me. I know you wouldn’t have wanted that either, even though your temper is still stupid short.”
Ichiro scoffed internally. Pot, meet kettle, he privately thought, but kept it to himself. Kuukou wasn’t done.
“But,” he faced Ichiro again as a hand came up to rub the back of his neck. His gaze remained on the window though. “I wanted to apologise for the shit that went down between us those two years ago.”
Ichiro’s brows flew high.
“I said a lot bullshit, and even though I didn’t mean any of it, it still happened because I was weak,” Kuukou spat out with a nasty sneer, venom oozing from every word and every ounce of it directed at himself. Ichiro could tell— self-loathing was a familiar companion; seeing it on Kuukou, however. That was jarring.
But a steely resolve smoothed Kuukou’s features as he met Ichiro’s gaze, whatever conviction he was swearing giving his gold eyes an almost unearthly glow.
“I’m sorry. And I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that shit doesn’t happen again.”
And that was that.
Kuukou was obviously done with sharing his feelings as he snatched up a milkshake he ordered and noisily began to slurp down, as if he hadn’t just shaken Ichiro to the core with just a few short sentences.
He hadn’t meant any of it?
Kuukou left him because he was weak?
Is… he willingly to be friends again?
For all that Kuukou managed to say, Ichiro still felt like he had a bunch of questions. There was something about Kuukou that hadn’t changed in two years; he always said something meaningful and impactful but still had you wondering what all he was saying.
Oddly enough, that fact, something so core to who Kuukou was, had Ichiro laughing quietly, relief flowing through him.
Kuukou paused from downing his large milkshake in one go and squinted a glare at him, “What’re you laughing at?”
“Nothing at all,” Ichiro said lightly, a smile playing on his lips as he watched Kuukou warmly, “Just… glad to know you haven’t changed too much.”
Kuukou looked briefly taken aback, before a sly grin stretched across his face. “Well, I can’t say the same for you. Have you become even more of a softie since the last time I saw you? Or even looked at a pair of scissors? That’s a full ass mullet you’re rocking.”
Ichiro chuckled, somewhat self-consciously, until he felt a gentle tap on his foot from under the table. Ichiro fixed Kuukou with a wide stare as Kuukou met his eyes with a kinder smile.
Kuukou crossed their ankles together.
“It is the nature of all things to change. We say all things must come to an end and that is certainly true; but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s over.
“Our time as the Naughty Busters is over. And we can’t ever go back to those times.”
And yet, he flashed Ichiro a bright grin.
“That doesn’t mean we, Ichiro and Kuukou, have to be over though. We’ve grown up a little and that’s not a bad thing. Just means we’ve experienced different things, lost some things and can come together to teach each other what we’ve learned.
“They say two halves of a broken sword reforged with gold makes a stronger sword. I think we can make that work for us too.”
Ichiro didn’t know how he wasn’t crying right now. Honestly, he was pretty sure his eyes were misting over. He choked out another laugh, and croaked out through the thickness he felt in his throat,
“I can’t tell if that was some of your made up inspirational poster bullshit anymore so yeah, I guess some things have changed after all, huh?”
That had Kuukou crowing with laughter as he chucked one of his food wrappers at Ichiro, “Fuckass, my shit’s always legit and always has been! Let’s see if I still play nice after this!”
“I didn’t even know ‘playing nice’ was even in your vocabulary,” Ichiro teased, lightly kicking at Kuukou’s feet and internally gave up at not feeling disgustingly warm and happy that Kuukou once again was by his side.
He still had plenty to say to Kuukou. But at this moment, Ichiro had a feeling everything would turn out alright.
--
(And they did talk some more.
Ichiro laid out everything he felt about their break up and everything that followed. And perhaps as Kuukou’s way of playing on even ground, he shared his own feelings. None of it was very pretty nor easy.
But in the wee hours of the morning, as they joked and laughed through the streets of Chuuoku and quietly exchanged numbers in the lobby of their hotel—
It felt like they had a pretty good start on their new relationship.)
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takamishinko · 3 years
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footprints and doubts
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this is the longest piece we’ve written so far and it drained the living crap out of us :,D but hope u guys enjoy !
pronouns: gender neutral 
warnings: nothing really other than jealousy, angst, and crying, self thought cheating
a/n: r/n is region name btw
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honestly you found it hard to believe that little ol’ you from r/n could befriend let alone become someone important to ajax. the great tartaglia, 11th of the fatui harbingers, his name itself could strike fear into anyone. yet here you were, standing next to him with your hands intertwined with his at the lantern rite festival. you would give the world to him if you could, you loved him so much. he was so different from your last significant other who had been unfaithful towards you. 
‘you’re just too boring.’ they had told you apathetically. you frown thinking about it.
you felt ajax gave your hand a small tug, "hey y/n why don't we go over there? looks like chef mao is cooking up something good." he spoke with a cheery grin on his face.
you snap back into reality as you felt his hand pull you out of your thoughts. you gave him a terse nod and the two of you made your way to wanmin restaurant.
after waiting a while in line, the two of you were next. chef mao looked up and practically shat himself at the sight of the male next to you. 
“hello y/n! i hope you’ve been enjoying the festival, " chef mao spoke nervously, his eyes gliding to the male next to you, “y...you too sir childe.” he sputtered out. right, ajax was the one who tried to destroy liyue not too long ago after all. you shook your head, right now you were with ajax, not childe.
"woah woah woah. calm down chef, you know that’s history now. besides, i’m just here to enjoy the festival with y/n." ajax assured, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.
you gave the chef a slight smile and spoke,"don’t worry chef. i’m sure he doesn’t have plans other than being with me tonight." you teased. 
the chef sighed in poorly concealed relief and returned to his usual self as he took your order. ajax ordered the specialty for today, the crystal shrimp. after a small wait, the two of you waved chef mao goodbye after he gave you two your food. the warm dish let out puffs of steam and glistened under all the light of the lanterns due to it's crystal clear skin, there were 4 in total, the wrapping for each was folded into the shape of a flower. they were so pretty, you almost felt bad for eating them. 
sitting down on a nearby bench, the two of you enjoyed the crystal shrimp while making small talk. the crystal shrimps were delicious themselves but it felt better to enjoy them with someone you loved. 
after finishing the food, you and ajax had a great time. you guys played a few rounds of theatre mechanics, ruijin was pleased at how skilled the two of you were and rewarded both of you with hefty prizes. upon bumping into zhongli, the three of you decided to enjoy some tea with him. after bidding farewell to the funeral consultant, the two of you released some xiao lanterns and watched as they floated into the night sky. 
feeling a bit tired, the two of you then decided to relax and take a walk instead of participating in games. as you and your boyfriend were strolling around the harbour, something, or someone caught his gaze. you look over to where his eyes were trailing to.
oh.
a beautiful young lady dressed in a white dress with a cecilia tucked into her golden blonde hair and a puffy companion floating by her side waved at ajax. her smile brighter than the sun and her movement as graceful as the moon. her honey glazed eyes shone with familiarity and glee at the sight of him.
of course you recognized this girl. she was none other than the otherworldly traveler, lumine. she fought alongside the liyue qixing and even the adepti to defeat the great osial. the people of liyue spoke about her often, everyone knew how she had also earned the title of honorary knight in mondstadt and defeated one of the four winds despite her young age. 
you were once again brought back into reality when ajax spoke, "hey babe ill be right back okay? i wanna catch up with lumine real quick." 
you felt his hand leave yours, the warmth dissipated with it. you felt an uncomfortable feeling bubble up as you watched your boyfriend run to someone else, leaving you alone by yourself to stand in the sea of lanterns and people. 
it didn't feel right.
you stayed in place with a dejected look for a while waiting for ajax to return but he was taking a while so you decided to go check what was going on with him.
"-but then teucer decided to do it anyway!” you hear ajax’s boyish voice ring out with amusement.
as the blond and the redhead laughed together. you couldn't help but think about the two looked enchanting with each other.
you shook your head and decided to make your presence known. "ajax-" 
ajax perked up, "oh! babe sorry to keep you waiting let me introduce you. lumine this is my partner y/n!" ajax exclaimed with a cute grin.
you gave lumine a small wave and spoke with a polite smile, "it's a pleasure to meet you lumine." 
"it’s nice to meet you too y/n.” lumine replied cheerfully.
now that you’ve got a better look at the blonde, she's so much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. 
her velvety blonde hair fell gracefully, her porcelain skin was practically glowing without a single visible blemish, her golden eyes shone with beauty that rivaled cor lapis. to wrap it up, her short stature was presented with grace and poise. all in all, everything about the blonde was nothing less than perfection.
everyone loved her and you could understand the reason behind it very well. gorgeous, kind, and righteous, the hero of every region everyone respected. you couldn’t help but wish you were like her instead of your boring self, without a vision, without any standing out achievements either…
you started to space out while the two started up a conversation again, thinking about the feelings you were currently having. why were you feeling like this?
"hey babe we should get going! it's getting late." the voice of your lover broke you out of your thinking.
you were overthinking a lot today huh. "oh. we probably should get going then." 
"bye ajax! bye y/n! it was really nice meeting you." lumine said with a pearly smile gracing her features. she then walked off to find her floating companion who was near a food stall inhaling dish after dish of food.
wait.
ajax..? he wasn’t childe or tartaglia to her, but ajax. you didn't know how to feel upon hearing the real name of your boyfriend slip out of the blonde. you knew how secretive ajax could be when it came to his family and personal life so the fact that lumine knew his real name put a feeling of unease within you.
the way home was pretty quiet, you didn't want ajax to notice that you were feeling off. you felt so guilty for having these feelings about him and lumine but you couldn’t help it. your last relationship had practically trampled on your ability to trust others, you could never tell if someone was lying to you or being truthful. you contemplated telling him how you felt but you decided against it, you’ve never been great at expressing your feelings after all. however, after a while of him blabbing about random topics, you couldn’t curb your curiosity any longer and realized you wanted to know more about your lover's relationship between him and lumine.
after a while of peaceful silence, you let out a small breath, "hey ajax?"
“yes y/n?" 
"who is lumine… to you?"
ajax perked up at the sound of the blonde's name, "lumine? she's a good friend and a formidable opponent of course. it's been a while since i’ve fought with someone who could keep up with me on the battlefield!" ajax spoke with enthusiasm.
you felt a twinge of pain shoot into your heart at the tone that your lover used when speaking about the blonde. did he speak like that when he was talking about you? 
"oh… i see. she must be a very powerful person then." you replied with feigned glee.
ajax noticed that you were in low spirits, "why? is something wrong?" he questioned with slight worry.
"no! i'm alright. i was just curious because you two seemed… close." you lied. you weren't ok, but you didn't know how to tell him. probably because you didn't even know why you felt such-
envy 
that was what you were feeling. not petty jealousy or sadness, you were envious. envious of lumine. her beauty, her strength, her personality, everything. the feeling consumed every inch of your body and dyed you green. your insecurities swallowed you up and spit you out, rendering you vulnerable against the little demons that poked at your thoughts.
when the two of you got home and freshened up, ajax practically passed out the second he lied in bed with you. on the other hand, you stayed wide awake, stuck thinking about the way lumine and ajax interacted. the smiles, the laughter, the fond looks they gave each other plagued your mind, rendering you unable to sleep. after a while of staring blankly at the ceiling, you groaned and carefully lifted the sheets to not wake your lover and got out of bed to make yourself a cup of tea. you used the tea leaves you bought from pops kai, the calming properties of the tea always helped you when you felt down. 
"they're just friends, don't overthink it, just friends, just friends." you whispered to yourself, trying to give yourself a sense of reassurance. after finishing the tea you got back into bed,  it was hard but you eventually fell asleep next to your lover.
next morning, you were woken by the sound of your boyfriend walking around in the living room doing something. it was only around 7am so you were wondering why up so early as he usually woke up at 8. you groggily walked out of the bedroom.
ajax noticed you and smiled fondly at the cute sight of you rubbing your eyes. "good morning babe, did i wake you up? sorry about that, i was just getting ready to go train."
"oh. by yourself?" somehow, you had a feeling of where this conversation was headed.
"no, with lumine, we made a deal yesterday to go to yaoguang shore today to fight some ruin guards and hunters for materials!" he chuckled.
lumine. lumine
the name echoed in your mind like a mantra. you were aware of his weekly spars with the blonde but today would be the second day he went out with her this week. a part of your heart told you to stop him, another part told you to let him go. in this internal battle, you chose the latter and let him go. after all, who were you to stop him? it's not like you could be the one to satisfy his thirst for battle, only someone like lumine could.
you were having a day off due to the lantern rite festival, but to be honest it's not like you needed the money. with the amount of money ajax had he could probably support you and your next 4 generations. with your spare day, you decided to clean up the house because it was a bit messy due to teucer playing around the day before. 
while cleaning up you found a spare xiao lantern that teucer was supposed to release when he came over. since you had spare time you decided to set another lantern yourself, it would be a waste to not use it after all. as people say, during the lantern rites, put your wish into a lantern and set it into the sky for it to become true. 
"i wish to stay with ajax, till death does us apart." 
you only hoped he felt the same way about you.
you put the note in the xiao lantern and set it off into the sky, you watched with sentiment as it floated away towards the clear blue sky.
you had a hard time focusing on the task you were doing for the rest of your day so you decided to take your mind off things and go take a look around liyue harbour to see if there was anything worth checking out, or buying. 
liyue harbour contained the usual, the fragrance of grilled tiger fish wafting from the stand next to where you would usually buy your groceries, the kids messing around near the boats, and you even met xiangling who tried to offer you her new recipe of jade parcels but you kindly refused. 
after that you went to give the adorable little pharmacist, qiqi, a visit. she was under the  cashier stand like usual, you gave her a little pat on the head and asked for the usual medicine you buy for ajax. 
you then bumped into zhongli, who was also strolling around. the two of you chattered about the festival and other shenanigans before bidding each other farewell. the amount of history about liyue and its traditions the man was familiar with would never fail to surprise you.
there wasn’t really anything left for you to do in the harbour so you started to head back home. not far away from the liuli pavilion you saw a familiar redhead talking to the owner of mingxing jewelry with a shorter figure standing beside him. 
upon closer inspection, you noticed it was ajax with someone else at a jewelry shop looking at the items. it was none other than lumine standing next to him. you watched as lumine picked out a piece of jewelry from the stand that would look so well on her. the gem glowed it’s colour under her smile and looked more fitting than ever. weren’t they supposed to be at yaoguang shore?
without second thought ajax bought the jewelry in lumines hand and put it in a gift bag with a look of tenderness. your heart dropped to the pits of your stomach, you felt as if the world was crashing down on you. your breathing quickened and your heart palpitated at alarming rates. every little insecurity that was planted in you had finally finished blooming. was this really going to happen to you a second time? was once not enough for the entertainment of the gods?
that was when he saw you, standing only a little bit away from him holding the items you purchased for him and the fresh groceries you were going to use to cook dinner for him.
ajax’s eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you, “y/n!? why are you he-” he was tense, you noticed, just like your ex-lover when they were caught.
you tried to regulate your breathing and spoke, “stop.” you managed to say, cutting off ajax before he could finish his sentence. he flinched at your dull tone.
“y/n! i know what you’re thinking but i promise we were just-” ajax hurriedly tries to explain.
“don’t. i think i've seen enough childe.” he frowned at the use of his moniker. 
your lips trembled, water collecting at the bottom of your eyes. ‘don’t cry. don’t cry, don’t cry.’ you repeated in your head, you didn’t want to appear weak in front of the two. your ajax who you loved so much, who you cared for so much, who you were planning to spend the rest of your life with, is now buying jewelry for someone else after lying to you.
“i was foolish this entire time, of course. instead of someone like me, a visionless nobody you would choose her over me. you’re just like-” your voice cracked as you forced the words out of your tightened throat. 
“y/n it’s not like that! please just let me explain!” ajax pleaded urgently. he hated that you were talking bad about yourself.
after gaining a smidge of composure you decided you couldn’t be near the two, “no need childe, i understand. now if you’ll excuse me, i'll be on my way.” you muttered and brushed past the two. 
“wait y/n!-” he reached out to grab your arm before the blonde next to him stopped him.
lumine sighed and spoke up after staying silent, “let them go for now. leave them alone for a bit, they need some time to think. it’s understandable why someone would be upset if they saw their lover with someone else like this.” she comforted before patting him on the back.
“yeah. i guess you’re right...” ajax murmured with a crestfallen look. he regretted not communicating with you, otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. he should’ve cleared up any suspicions you had and reassured you. he knew about how you weren’t confident due to your last relationship. gods, he felt like he was worse than your dirtbag of an ex.
you walked towards your home slowly trying to process what just happened. your tears already ran dry and you didn’t think more were able to escape from your eyes. the fading sunset seemed so blurry yet peaceful. somehow, instead of walking home, you ended up near yaoguang shore which happened to be the spot you and ajax would go to often. his name brought bitter feelings back as you remember the events that just happened but you took a deep breath and sat on the sand across from the shore. you listened to the sound of the ocean, the waves dousing the sand it touched. you took notice of the starconches laying on the sand. 
feelings of melancholy welled up inside you. these are ajax’s favourites. the blue shells reminded you of his eyes. his lovely eyes were the blue of the waves of the sea, they crashed into you and pulled you into them. you could spend all day swimming in the infinite hues until you drowned.
you buried your head onto your knees and let out a pained cry you’ve been holding in. here, where no one can find you, where no one can hear you. only the ocean will hear your troubles and worries, you hoped it could wash them away and you could forget about them forever. you sat there in peace by yourself for what felt like hours.
you sighed and decided that you should get going, but to where? you didn’t want to see ajax if he’s even going to be there at all. maybe you could crash at zhongli’s place…
 just as you were about to leave you heard a familiar voice behind your back. “y/n!” it was the man you loved, ajax, sprinting to you with the same gift bag he was holding in his hands at mingxing jewelry. 
you turned around to look at him. your hair was flowing in the wind with the sunset behind your back. to ajax it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life. 
“i knew you’d be here.” ajax spoke with relief.
you looked away from him not knowing how to feel right now about your “lover” and stayed silent.
“y/n. i swear it wasn’t what it looked like, i would never do that to you. lumine and i really don’t have anything going on in between us, i chose you as my partner and i plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life. in fact,” ajax murmured while opening up the gift bag he was holding. it was a bracelet with a fine piece of noctilucous jade in the middle with cor lapis fragments decorating the border of the blue gem. the jewelry wafted with fragrances, the morning dew smell from a qingxin, the classical smell of the harbour from a silk flower and lastly the everlasting aroma of violet grass.  
“do you like it? lumine and i picked it out for you at mingxing jewelry for our upcoming anniversary. i just wanted her opinion on what to choose for you. this was one of the most beautiful pieces that they had. i heard it took a super long time to make, oh! the jade in the middle will also make the bracelet glow in the dark! pretty cool huh?” ajax smiled as he lifted your wrist to put it on you.
at a loss of words, you lifted your head up at the male and gave him a soft smile, “thank you ajax… i love it, it’s perfect in every way possible.”
“just like you.” the redhead spoke fondly with a grin on his face while softly stroking your hair.
“oh shut up you flirt.” you tried to hide your smile as you both giggled on the beach with the sunset dripping behind you two. 
after a while of being engulfed in ajax’s arms you spoke, “ajax, i want to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and lumine. i..you know about how i find it hard to trust people sometimes but it was unfair for me to do that to you, i know you would never cheat on me.” you spoke, hugging him tighter as if he would leave if you get go. 
“y/n. don’t you dare think for a second that i’ll leave you for someone else ok? you’re the only one in this world that i want and it’s staying that way. i don’t care if you’re visionless, or if you don’t have any achievements whatsoever. i still love you so so much.” ajax exclaimed as he buried his head into the crook of your neck.
you felt a certain warmth as your face flushed. how did you end up with someone as perfect as ajax. you lifted his face with your hands and pressed your lips against his. he deepens the kiss and your heart melts.
“thank you ajax. i’ll always be by your side too, no matter what happens. my love for you has no ends.” you speak with pure affection as you nuzzled your face into ajax’s soft yet firm chest. 
ajax feels his face heat up and he quickly speaks, “c’mon now, let’s go home, i can’t wait to taste your cooking after running around all day today.”
the two of you walked together on the beach, hand in hand, leaving footprints and doubts in the sand.
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special msg from my dear editor: hey lol - @kamihara​ , my works wouldn’t be nearly as good if it weren’t for them so go give them a follow please :)!
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justwonder113 · 3 years
Text
Midnight adventures
Matsukawa Issei x f.reader
WARNING: Angst to fluff, Slowburn, friends to lovers, mutual pining, kinda long and decent amount of cursing cuz I have no shame. Both reader and Matsun are kind of dumb.
word count 6.5k
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You loved him, you really did, even though he sometimes drove you out of your mind and made you want to bash his head against the wall. And he knew that. He knew what kind of effect he had on you and he was amused by it.  He knew just to push the right buttons, he knew how to rile you up.
You were like an open book to him, so of course he knew you had a crush on him from the start, and you knew that he was aware of your feelings. At first, you were reluctant and refused to admit having the slightest feelings for him, but after some time you accepted the fact and realized that at some point you made your feelings seem obvious. Well, he was your first actual crush, and you were inexperienced.
Your friends would also tease you a lot and at some point, they locked you two together so you could finally confess. It was after their match against shiratorizawa in the third year. That was the day you had your first kiss with him, honestly, you didn't know what happened that night, one moment you were arguing with him because he wanted to leave the team, you were basically yelling how amazing player and teammate he was and the next second you were kissing each other. You expected that after he would confess to you, but he never did. He acted with you like the kiss never happened and that really broke you.
Maybe that is why after all these years you decided to move away, both literally and emotionally. You spent all your high school years waiting for him, waiting for him to make a move, but before you knew it you graduated. You finished school not even holding hands with another boy because you thought he felt the same, you thought that maybe you could be together? But now you realized that it was all load of bullshit. Why did you have to go so far for a person who didn't care about you that much? Why did you have to hold back when he never said no to all the attention he got from girls? You knew that they meant nothing to him and that he only saw them as one-time flings but it still really hurt you. Did you even mean something to him?
You felt mad at yourself, you wasted all these years swooning over someone who didn't return your feelings. But the thing that angered you the most was that you still weren't over him. Your heart would still flutter like crazy whenever you saw him and as much as you hated it he looked better and better every time.  You also hated the fact that you couldn't blame him for all this pain, you couldn't tell that you were heartbroken because he didn't love you, that wasn't much of a reason. You were the silly one here. Why were you even surprised? He knew you for years as friends. He probably only saw you as a friend and considered the kiss as a mistake.
To be honest, he never did anything wrong, he always treated you warmly, and with respect, he liked to piss you off but he never really crossed the line, you couldn't blame him for not loving you. You guys kissed like one time, he probably regretted it and didn't want to hurt your feelings that's why he never brought it up after that. He gave you space. He didn't tell you in your face that he didn't return your feelings, he never broke your heart, you were just the silly one, clinging tightly to that miserable string of hope. You were the weak one for falling for him. It would have been better if he screwed up, if he told you that he could never look at you romantically, maybe it would make you feel a little better, your heart would break but you would get over it? But no destiny said that he had to be perfect.
When you moved away to University you promised yourself that you would start everything from the fresh page, you would work on yourself and no longer be that helpless girl who couldn't even get over her crush. You spent months working on your self-confidence and other issues, you spent countless time getting yourself into shape. Let's say you worked on yourself pretty hard. And it paid off, you had finished university and were about to start your dream job, you had gotten an offer many would dream of, you did everything you wanted, you even got in a few relationships, you should have been satisfied right? Then why didn't feel so? Why was there a feeling of emptiness inside your soul and why was no one able to fill it? It made you furious, after all these years, how could you not move on? Why did you Think about Matsukawa when you kissed other men? Why did you keep comparing everyone to him? What did he even do to deserve a permanent place in your heart? Your heart still kept beating like crazy and it's been what? years? you were in your twenties already, you needed to move on!
You were back in the city to celebrate your friends' victory over his rivals. Oikawa being the flashy person he is decided to throw the biggest party possible and now here you were. You knew you would meet him here, he was his friend as much as you after all, but you didn't expect it to hurt this much. As you said time really had done its job on him, he looked more mature now, he was slightly taller and definitely more muscular, he decided to grow his hair too, you always knew that he would look amazing with slightly longer hair, he had also gotten a few tattoos that were seen through his rolled-up black shirt. Man, did it suit him, the shirt was a bit tight fit and it really complimented his muscular form. The tattoos looked amazing on him and were these rings he was wearing? And piercings! And he had his nails painted black, Really life? He looked like your dream man, thank you very much for nothing!
You knew you would run into him today and you tried to look your best, you knew it was silly but you felt like showing off, but after seeing him you felt kind of self-conscious. You wondered if your dress was a good choice, you chose it as it hugged your curves perfectly and really complimented them but now you were wondering if it was too much. Was your hair alright? You hoped it didn't get frizzy. Oh god, why was everyone staring at you? Your lipstick didn't smudge, right? Even though you were having a war inside your head it simply washed away in an instant as you saw the face of your best friend who was grinning like crazy. You quickly headed to her and engulfed them in a tight hug. God, you missed themso much! You felt lucky just by having them in your life, and they really helped you get through with your issues,they were with you every step of the way and you couldn't be more thankful. If it wasn't for them and your friends you doubted you would be standing here right now. Even though you still felt self-conscious sometimes like now overall you were a pretty confident person who radiated power. Even when you felt weak you managed to look powerful. Maybe this was your resting bitch face? You didn't know. You felt thankful that he didn't notice you he was too busy talking with some woman, typical.
"I missed you so much! Can't believe I'm seeing you after all this time. I really missed you all. And meeting on an occasion like this we just have to celebrate our reunion, I knew Oikawa would beat their asses someday," you grinned proudly. "Okay, I'm getting carried away, I really missed you tho. We have to catch on, let's ditch your them later and have some fun!" You ranted as you occasionally squeezed your best friend who kept chuckling.
"Now now Y/N-chan, you just came back don't go stealing my friends from me!" Oikawa came out of nowhere and snatched your best friend away from you, you pouted but chuckled in the end.
"Can't make promises Flattykawa. And in my defense, I knew them longer." You teased and made a face at him, Oikawa fake gasped and clutched his heart a smile never leaving his face. You missed this idiot and his dramatic shenanigans so bad.
"Again with a nickname! Y/F/N-chan she's being mean!" Your friend only chuckled at Oikawa's childlike behavior and patted his hand.
"She has a point tho." Your friend teased along.
"Betrayed by you too! What else should I expect today?" He whined, you only chuckled and opened your arms.
"I really missed you, you dork! I'm really proud of you," you said sweetly, Oikawa immediately hugged you, you smiled at the familiar warmth, Oikawa has been like an annoying brother to you, you weren't used to not hearing his constant whining and antics even after all these years living apart from them.
"I really missed you too! Nothing's the same without you!" You smiled at Oikawa's warm comment. You were glad they missed you the same way you missed them. You really tried to visit as frequently as you could but it was hard when all of you were covered in work. Out of all third years, Hanamaki and Matsukawa stayed in Japan, you and others left the country for Universities. You felt really emotional, it had been such a long time without them...
"Look at her, hugging Oikawa and Y/f/n-chan first, don't mind me I'm just gonna stand here until you decide to acknowledge me. I thought we had something special Y/n, you're breaking my heart here." You heard a deep voice behind you, you smiled and turned back smirking.
"I would say she has her priorities set right? I mean it's me you are talking about,"Oikawa boasted, Your friend giggled.
"Missed you too Hiro," you grinned as you playfully hit his shoulder then hugged him. It was good to be home.
"Where's my grizzly bear?"  You asked as you searched the crowd for the angry spiky head.
"He's at the bar probably, Oikawa managed to talk his ears out already, he left a minute ago saying "I'm not drunk enough for this shit!" I'm sure he will be happy to see you." Makki smiled and wrapped his hand around your shoulder you smiled and leaned in on his touch. You had missed this so much!
You spent most of the evening chatting with people and having a nice time. Oikawa for sure knew how to throw a party, you even danced with some charming men. You felt uneasy tho, you and Matsukawa made eye contact a few times but none of you even moved to say something, you just smiled at each other awkwardly. Over the night you noticed how many girls approached him, well it wasn't surprising, he was a good looking young man, but you couldn't help but feel a tinge of annoyance on the inside. In the end, you tried your best to be your charming self. You talked to many different men and even danced with more of them, moving your hips passionately along the music. But you felt bored in the end. None of them were interesting, they didn't have a fire you wanted. How long were you going to be like this? Wasn't there someone who could I don't know sweep you off your feet?
Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, the alcohol was starting to kick in and you swayed your hips with a bit more passion, your best friend was next to you, Oikawa had left you two alone to have your time.
"You haven't talked to him right?" As always, Your friend guessed what was bothering you in a second.
"No, and I'm not planning on doing so. If he didn't think I were at least a little bit important than the girls he was talking to then I'm not going to interfere. I have self-respect. He didn't even bother to say hi." You rolled your eyes and chugged another shot, the alcohol mildly burned your throat but you were used to the feeling. You just felt like dancing and maybe even washing your worries away. You wanted to have fun, and you had a reason too, your friend won a gold medal and defeated his rivals! You decided to go and do another shot, getting near the bar, you noticed a familiar spiky head, you smiled and got closer finally sitting next to the buff man.
"Is this seat taken handsome?" You asked seductively, Iwaizumi's shoulders tensed for a second but he relaxed as soon as he saw your grinning face.
"Y/N!" He greeted you with a smile and got up, you were quick to wrap your hand around him.
"Good to see you, daddy." You grinned teasingly, Iwaizumi flushed immediately. You had a habit of teasing him, you often called him daddy because of his aggressive yes, but caring demeanor, and you really enjoyed it when he got flustered. Truth be told you were probably the only person who got away with teasing him without getting punched or kicked.
"God, when will you stop with the dumb nickname? People are going to get a very wrong idea, it's embarrassing," he grumbled and pointed to the bartender by his eyes, who was looking at you from time to time sneakily, he heard you and was shocked, you smirked and gave him a wink, making the boy blush harder. You smiled, as you eyed the boy he was definitely cute.
"I will stop when you won't have an adorable reaction like this," you teased, Iwaizumi only scoffed, but he didn't look mad.
"It's awfully early for you to start drinking, did Oikawa really talk your ears out?" You chuckled, Iwaizumi scoffed again but he looked amused.
"Unfortunately for me yes, I swear to God he never stops talking." You chuckled, it was such an Oikawa thing to do.
"Yeah, I'm glad Oikawa won, I'm sorry for your team but he did work really hard for it and really deserved it." You smiled fondly after noticing Oikawa dancing with your best friend over some cheezy song which probably he had chosen.
"Yeah, I'm glad too. You should have seen him tho, the all smug Oikawa crying nonstop like a baby after he realized he had won, well of course after they left the court, he was like Iwa-chan I did it!" Iwaizumi mimicked Oikawa's crying voice, you giggled. It sounded like Oikawa, "Don't laugh, who do you think had to stop him from crying? "Iwaizumi shuddered as you had a hard time holding your laughter. You had such a good time, you didn't even notice a pair of dark brown eyes observing your giggling form.
"Now all I can see is Oikawa clinging to you like a koala and crying his eyes out."  Iwaizumi only looked at you with an unamused face, making you raise your hands in defeat, the deadly aura didn't go unnoticed by you. Iwaizumi rarely lost his cool around you, but it didn't mean you were immune to his rage. "I'm only kidding, Iwa baby, please don't get mad at me." You lightly pouted as you made puppy dog eyes at him, he only sighed and took another sip from his drink, you smiled and ordered a drink, you visibly relaxed, you didn't feel on edge anymore.
You talked for a while, but unfortunately for you, Iwaizumi had to leave, apparently drunk Oikawa was somewhere causing some trouble. You found it suspicious that was too much even for Oikawa but you didn't question it. Iwaiizumi only grumbled in annoyance and left, being used to all this stuff. You, on the other hand, Made small talk with the cute bartender, he was really good looking and surprisingly very charming and smooth. You were quite drunk already and you were feeling needy, so now here you were making out with him in some empty hallway. He was a good kisser, but you still didn't feel any spark. You wanted to feel the same tingling sensation as the one you felt when you had your first kiss with Issei. The situation was not at all romantic as you said, Oikawa and others locked you in the lockers, to make up after you had a little fight. You bickered at each other for a while, well it was you who was really arguing, you were really mad at him because he was bringing himself down and planned on leaving the team, and you were trying to get to his scull how amazing he actually was and soon your lips were against each other and it felt like the most magical feeling in the whole world. You had never felt anything like that when you kissed others and today was no exception, unfortunately for you. You tried to take the lead in the kiss maybe to make it feel more enjoyable for you but before you could even try, a hand made the man separate from you. You opened your eyes to see Issei, who didn't have a very pleased expression.
"I have business with Y/N, so I don't know, get lost?" Issei said without any emotion. You looked at him dumbfounded. He didn't even bother saying hi earlier, what business would he have with you? The boy, Souma was it? Looked at you two before speaking.
"Dude what the hell we were busy!" He groaned as he glared at Issei, who didn't seem really fazed.
"Do I really look like I care?" Matsukawa asked plainly, You took the chance to straighten up.
"Listen here you little..." Souma stopped before he would go on, as he felt chills run down his spine under Matsukawa's cold glare. You sighed and straightened up.
"I guess it's pretty important, I will contact you later ok?" You asked sweetly, but you both knew you weren't going to contact him. You didn't even have his number and you hadn't given him yours. Souma grumbled and left leaving you with Issei.
As soon as he left you were quick to smack Issei's arm. "Dude, what the fuck?" He only looked at you, grabbed your arm, and led you through the hallway. "What's with the cockblocking? He didn't seem too bad."
"I didn't like him." He said like it was the most obvious thing. It made you feel mad.
"Oh sorry, next time I will choose someone you might like, for future references what type of boys are you into?" You snarled lightly. You wanted to break free from his grasp but it was too strong. Soon your back made contact with the cold wall, and you were caged between Issei's strong arms. You tried to protest but before you could even say a word his lips were on you. You didn't know how to act, your whole body went stiff but after a second you felt your body relaxing.
"God, you're beautiful." He said as he kissed you again, his big hands snaking around your waist. You were speechless, you didn't really realize what was going on. But your body felt like it was on fire. His lips kept brushing against yours just perfectly, your skin was burning hot under his touch. Your heart was beating like crazy, you only managed to whimper against him and he took this as a chance to deepen the kiss. You tried to keep up but it was physically impossible. His kiss was deep and passionate, kind of possessive too. You could feel all his lust through it. You moaned lightly, unable to control yourself. You put your hands on his chest, you could even feel his strong yet fast heartbeat, you pushed lightly, Issei took the hint and leaned back. He stared at you, admiring your beautiful form, you looked so pretty all flustered and breathless, he had wanted to do this for such a long time, for the whole night you had basically been teasing him and his patience was running thin.
"What came over you. I..." You didn't know what to say, you were so confused.
"Do you remember our random sneak outs in highschool?" How could you forget, you just lived for the tiny adventures you, Makki and he used to have at three am. Sometimes when Hiro didn't feel like coming, you would go with him instead. Eating ice cream or random junk food at three am on your special spot, you lived for it. Sometimes you didn't even talk for a whole night but still felt so comfortable. Your chest tightened again at the memory. But why bring it up now? This didn't explain all the raging questions you had.
You nodded your head quietly, looking at him through glossy eyes. "I do. Why?" Your voice was so weak it made you cringe. You didn't know, what was this about? Why bring it up now.
"Would you go on an adventure with me? I know it's Oikawa's special day, but Y/N I... We both know that we need to talk." You looked up at him with wide eyes, you had never seen him like this, he looked so serious and desperate too? Despite feeling all furious and all you nodded and let him lead you through the crowd and to his car.
"I will text him, he might get worried. But what should I say? Where are we even going? We're in Tokyo, don't tell me we're going to Miyagi!" You asked as you sat down in his car, you were confused, all this stuff was confusing you.
"No, I don't plan to take you to Miyagi, I was thinking of ordering a shit ton of junk food via drive-in and then taking you to the place I found earlier. Don't worry I'm sure you will like it." Issei assured you as he got in his car, started the engine, and started driving.
"Are you really trying to get on my good side via food? I'm really mad it's not going to be that easy." You furrowed your eyebrows, Issei huffed a laugh.
"Maybe I am? We both know that you will sell your soul to satan for a bag of doritos! If I keep your mouth busy while I tell you something at least I won't have to worry about you biting my head off," Issei pointed out like it was the most obvious argument while smirking proudly, you scoffed.
"I will hit you so hard after you stop the car, I'm not doing it now because I value my life. And besides, it's not about whether or not I will like the place. It can be next to a strip bar or some abandoned place, what's important is that you will say and you know that." You said as a matter of fact and turned away from him, looking through the window.
"I know." He sighed after a second, the atmosphere was heavy, opposite of what you were used to. You started liking Mattsun because things were easy with him and that it was full adventures, but now... You had to calculate everything you said, how you moved, how you looked at him, and stuff. When did it become so painful to be in the same space as him? And the stuff he wanted to tell you terrified you. What if he admitted that he never saw you seriously? That he only felt desire for you at some doing and nothing else. You didn't even know what made him act up today, did he have at least the slightest feelings for you or did he just found desirable in that tight dress? Maybe he just didn't like the face another man tried to take you away. Either way, anxiety was eating you from the inside. Your heart kept beating rapidly and your fingers actually hurt from playing too hard with them.
You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even notice how he ordered and got the food. You only came back to reality only when he opened your door gently took your hand in his big one. "We're here." He helped you get out of it. The cold air immediately hit you, making you shiver slightly. "Here take this." He said as he put his jacket on your shoulders, it was so big you were basically swimming in it but on the contrary, it was really warm and soft and it smelled like him! Just perfect, you immediately snuggled in. Mattsun then took the food package from the backseat. He quickly locked the car and led you through again. You were now in front of a big clearly abandoned building, you hesitated for a second and tightened your grip around his hand, Issei looked at you, carefully examining your face."Are you feeling scared? I promise it's a safe place, I have been here. You still like exploring weird buildings like this right?" He teased lightly, squeezing back your hand. You only pouted.
"I do like exploring buildings like this, but when I said abandoned building I was joking you know that right? I like these kinds of places but not in dresses like this and especially not in high heels. I like being prepared to run from my life if there's a huge creep or some sort of monster, I don't know! And I haven't done something like that for such a long time, and we're not in Miyagi too, everything's new here!" You said as a matter of fact while playing with your hair, Issei only chuckled. You felt nervous. Before you could even comprehend what was happening Issei had already picked you over his shoulder. You felt like a sack of potatoes.
"Oh my god, Matsun what are you doing? Put me down!" You tried squirming away at the same time you clutched his shirt too afraid to fall. He started laughing, you felt vibrations through his back, you couldn't help but smile, you liked when he laughed.
"No way, I like carrying you and I have the best view too so no way princess."You could tell he was grinning while looking at your ass and it made you mumble in annoyance. You gasped when he spanked your bottom lightly, you smacked his back in response. "Do you like the view?"
"Shut up!" You whined, which made him chuckle harder. "Put me down, my dress is short!" You started wiggling again, but he had a death grip on you. You could feel the blood rushing to your face and at this point, you were not sure if it was from embarrassment, just having your head low and blood rushing to your head or just anger.
After a minute of him walking and you admiring his ass, he finally put you down. You looked around, the building was empty, there was no furniture and some of the walls were covered in graffiti. Other than that you enjoyed the place, it had a certain vibe to it. You wandered for a second, exploring the room. When you turned around you didn't see him, you walked around and eventually came out on the huge veranda. The sight made you gasp, Issei had laid the blankets on the floor and taken out the food, it looked so cozy! There were some pillows too. It was just like a little picnic, the dim streetlights also shone nicely with some fairy lights there and there and the sight in front of you of the night city was magnificent. Everything looked so simple yet so perfect.
"Okay, stop or I might have to actually marry you." You pointed at everything dramatically, you couldn't contain your smile. Everything looked like the pics you have seen on social media or in the movies. Issei smiled at you softly, you looked so cute all excited like that. His jacket really suited you too, you looked so perfect.
"I knew you would like this. I'm glad you actually agreed to come." He smiled and patted space next to him, you sighed and sat carefully, holding down your dress, it was short at it was you didn't want it to slide up too much.
"You knew I wouldn't refuse such tempting request, didn't you? I always liked our little adventures," you smiled fondly, recalling sweet high school memories.
You spent few minutes in silence watching the city, eating there and there, but it wasn't uncomfortable like before, your anxiety had calmed down a little too. You just sat there and enjoyed the moment. You didn't even notice when he took your hand but you didn't bother to take it back. You wished you could stay like this forever but you also knew it was wrong. You had to ask the question, even if hearing it could destroy you. You both knew that.
"Matsu, why did you kiss me earlier? I'm trying to understand what's going on between us but now I'm especially confused. Why did you do it? I thought you didn't like me," You were talking quietly, but in reality, it was really hard for you to contain your sea of emotions. Issei tightened his grip on your delicate fingers, neither of you bothered to look at each other in the eyes. He took a deep breath and started talking quietly.
"I don't know myself. I thought I had let go of you, I thought I was over you, but when I saw you again all feelings came crashing down on me again. You looked so breathtaking, I fell in love with you all over again. So pretty and all dolled up and this dress. God this dress, hugs you so perfectly on all the places I want to touch, I actually feel jealous of it. I want to rip it off and have you all to myself and never let go. I don't want to let go now that I tasted your lips again." He spoke lowly, his voice was raspy and it sent chills down your spine. " You are the most beautiful person here you know that right? You are probably the most beautiful person in the whole city, I think even in whole Japan or better the world!" Matsun kept going on and on setting your heart ablaze. You were mad, but at the same time, you were so at ease and felt so at comfort. It was like your mind and heart were battling each other and you had no idea which would win.
"I'm still really mad at you." You grumbled against his chest, Issei hummed and wrapped his hands tighter around your waist.
"I know and you have every right to." Issei hummed and pecked your hair, he then grabbed your chin lightly and made you look at him. "I'm really sorry Y/N, all I have been doing is to cause you pain. It was never my intention. I love you, god, I love you so much! I know you will be better without me. You can find so many who are way better than I am and would treat you like you really deserve. And I thought I came around with the fact that I wouldn't be the one to have you in the end. I always knew that. That's why I never made any kind of move on you. When you entered the party you looked like a different person. You were the most beautiful person I have ever met, you looked so confident and comfortable in your own skin and most of all you looked so happy! I didn't want to come to you and ruin it. I felt so proud too, you achieved so many things! God, you don't know how proud I am to even know you!" Matsun kept going on and on, you haven't even heard him talk this much in a row, he was always a man of few words. He looked so desperate too, and the way his voice broke, killed you too. You had known him for years but you still never had seen him like this. Honestly, You had no idea what to do. You wanted to yell at him and comfort him at the same time. You tightened your grip around his hand, your knuckles were starting to whiten but you didn't care. You wanted for him to know you were listening, that you were there.
"Matsun, I..." You tried to start but he interrupted you.
"Please let me finish." The tone of his broken voice immediately made you shut up. "I know it was my own choice to let you go, and I really thought I was fine with that but when I saw you... When I saw you something like snapped in me. I tried to take my mind away, I kept talking to this women to keep my mind off of you, but how can I pay any attention to these peasants when a literal goddess has taken over my heart? And when I saw you kissing that asshole I almost went feral! I would have murdered him if I had a chance. He was touching the one I basically find sacred so disrespectfully, I almost lost my mind. Then I got you to myself I couldn't help but kiss you. Your lips always look so welcoming I couldn't help myself. And I want to do it again and again. I don't ever want to let go. I miss you like crazy! I don't know if I can be apart from you again. I... God, I sound so pathetic, I don't even understand what's happening with me. I covered this place with blankets and stuff you love because I hoped you would come to another adventure with me. Funny thing is that I wasn't even planning on asking, I don't know how we ended up here. I thought I would end up coming here all alone, wallowing myself in self-pity again. I know I don't deserve it, and I know that everything's my fault and my fault only and I would understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me, but could you give me another chance? I don't think I can last any more minute without you. I miss you so much it actually hurts."
Matsukawa looked at you with pleading eyes, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, you were getting in his lap and were kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He was startled for a second, he clearly didn't expect you to have a reaction like this but he wasn't against it at all. In fact, in a second, he was the one taking the lead and deepening the kiss. His hands digging in your hair while you slid yours through his hair. He would have continued doing so before you leaned back and broke the kiss. He looked at you half dazed. You were quick to bring him back to his senses when you harshly smacked his head.
"That hurts!" He complained, which made you more fueled up and now you punched his shoulder.
"That's the point of hitting! I want it to hurt you asshole!" You yelled. "You know you're a huge fucking idiot right? What's with this bullshit about not being worthy to be next to me? If I didn't think your ass was worthy I wouldn't have fallen in love with you! My taste in men may not be that great but I'm not stupid! I appreciate that you're thinking about my happiness or whatever, even though it's totally uncalled for, and thank me for not beating your ass further! But I get to decide what's good for me and what's not. To your surprise genius, that comes to dating too! I get to decide whom I want to date and fall in love with and in this case, it happens to be you, fuck it always has been you! I had some partners but I didn't love any of them, cause your caterpillar brow ass has managed and captured my heart, I always come to compare them to you, and guess what they're not you! God, you can be so stupid for someone who is supposed to be smart! I'm really disappointed Matsun and mad too! I want to beat your ass even further! God, how did you even manage to come up with this bullshit? I swear to god!" You kept grumbling while messing with Issei who looked like he was still in shock, his cheeks were dusted pink and you couldn't help but squeal on the inside from how cute you found it. You made Issei blush! That was an achievement for sure and such an adorable one too! But you couldn't back down now, you felt actually mad that he had such dumb thoughts like this, but on the other hand, you found it very endearing and cute. He was trying to protect you! And by the looks of it, he was hurting just as much as you. But the fact remained the same, he loved you. Your dream came true, he shared the same feelings! You felt so happy, you wanted to kiss his face till your lips fell off.
"You know you don't have to straight ass roast me right?" Issei tried to look offended but he was having a hard time hiding his grin, you smiled and pinched his cheek making him roll his eyes.
"Oh baby, I'm not even started. What did you think I was going to forget everything? And don't be mislead Makki can't even come close to me when it comes to teasing. You're in for a ride sweetheart, teasing is only just begging, maybe if you find a few ways to shut me up, and you know what I mean, I could keep quiet for a while, you could atone for your stupid ass mistakes with many kisses for starters. I don't know Matsu get creative. The point is you're stuck with me and you can't even run from me now you got it? No more bullshit like I don't deserve you and stuff like that," You said as slowly and as seductively as you could having your face close to his and occasionally brushing your lips against his. Still being in his lap gave you the perfect leverage and you just loved the way he was tightly holding your hips, to keep your bodies close. You felt complete after such a long time...
The hurt and all the emotions didn't wash away immediately obviously, you knew that your wounds would take time to heal, but now at least you knew Issei would be next to you through the journey and that was enough. You knew that now, that you had talked things through, maybe yelled from your side but still, you knew that you could overcome many things together. You just needed to voice your thoughts out.
"Wasn't even planning on it baby," he growled while he closed the distance between your lips again making you squeal a little. Yup, you just loved your little midnight adventures.
God, I can't believe I actually wrote over 6500+words. No wonder my eyes hurt like a bitch lol. Anyway, I really hope you will like it. If you have any kind of feedback please notify me. I'll gladly take some healthy criticism. I really want to improve my writing and I promise I will do my best. This is a firts work I have ever published on tumblr and I really hope you will like it^^
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lordymaru · 3 years
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I'm about to refute this entire essay with the simple explanation being:
The only interaction we've seen of these two is when she's a freaking 8 year old. Your self insert shows no boundaries.
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And this is probably the last time I'll make a post about the stupidity behind the way the pair is viewed:
Note: I know there's people out there with a brain who ship these two in a more conventional way. In the end you do you, ship whatever you want, no one can prevent you from doing that, just don't be gross about it.
One of the parts being the Significance of their first encounter:
She’s a poor peasant girl who’s suffered immense trauma, suffering, and loneliness. Her initiative to help Sesshomaru came from her generosity
Exactly, she's alone for her family had been killed before her eyes, the villagers treat her like garbage. When she meets Sess he's wounded and simply in a bad state, both mentally and physically. Both of them are, the difference being he's a demon, a powerful one and for him to have ended in such a bad shape only stabbed at his pride- Rin on the other hand is a child, a human tiny child who is vulnerable and to him she poses no threat. Both of them are weak then.
At this point, it’s observable that despite knowing her story, her scars, and her difficulties, humans do not even empathize, let alone sympathize with Rin. It is the feudal era, after all. She’s a young, disabled orphan and the villagers only see her for what she lacks: a voice, a family, and a place of belonging.
Again with your feudal era shit. I can assure you the world is just as ugly today as it was before you and I existed. Next.
When he asks about her bruises, this is the first time anyone had ever afforded her a second glance.
This was a huge step forward for Sess, a huuuuuuge one for he showed interest in another living creature, not just any creature but a human. And for her it was probably like Christmas, for no one had showed her any mercy or interest. Ok you get a point. But oh, boy, how I'm about to spit on the next one:
The audience can see Sesshomaru calculate her body language, recognizing that she is mute. Instead of pressing her further or ignoring her outright, he attempts to comfort her (in his own way), making her feel that it is okay if she chooses not to answer him; that her desire to reply to him should only be a desire, not an obligation. I think, on one hand, that was the first moment of something that would resemble compassion that Sesshomaru had ever administered, trying to put himself in her shoes — if someone had asked him to do something that required, for example, his left arm, he probably would have appreciated them saying “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” so to provide him agency for something that he actually cannot do. And the same goes for Rin. He recognizes her disability, maybe even resonates with it and decides to empower her with a choice. Choice is important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic and it’s a word that will come up often. 
Ok why are you comparing the loss of his arm to her not being able to talk? Not all disabilities are the same, you moron. Or am I dumb for thinking this way? If so, feel free to call me out on my lack of common sense kr whatever you wanna call it. Sess physically couldn't do shit with his left arm because well- it was gone! That's a physical disability. Rin had "lost" her voice after what she witnessed and so she wouldn't speak anymore. Have you heard of Psychogenic Dysphonia? If not, you can click here and give it a reading or do your own research. The more you know: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0892199703000158
So you say he "empowers her with a choice" that is "important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic" let me get this straight, a choice because why? She's a child? A female? Because you said so yourself, it's the Feudal Era after all and therefore women had no choice in life, no voice, no agency, no nothing. So he was being magnanimous then? You know... This is where you start edging into the gr00ming territory. Can't you see? No? Alright, moving on.
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BRUH WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you fucking good? See how you self insert? Bye. Next
The next time Sesshomaru sees Rin, it is suggested that he actively sought her, whether it be by curiosity or concern for well-being
He did... It is not suggested, he actually did asdfhkl. For both curiosity and he probably was worried. He also states he wants to test out his sword, what a perfect chance to do so for Rin is pretty much dead and that's the only way to make his sword work. So she was both being a guinea pig and an itch he wasn't quite sure how to scratch. Next.
Silence Rin.
Rin screams endlessly, annoying Sesshomaru. Firstly, this is the first time we hear him call her by her name. Secondly, Sesshomaru is visibly annoyed by her noises, however, he does not tell her to “shut up” as he normally would with Jaken or even InuYasha. He simply says “enough of that Rin, stop it.” (In Japanese he says, “Silence, Rin. You make too much noise.”) Even analyzing the Japanese dialogue, it is evidently softer than Sesshomaru’s usual ‘kisama’ (貴樣) manner of speech that we see depicted usually. This is the first time he’s had a companion who is not a demon, someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return. His softer tone is a logical deduction to make.
Ok... "someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return." Bruh... As if he would even consider meeting someone's expectations. Are you sure you're talking about Sess? Another thing is, he always speaks in a calm tone, he rarely yells or loses his composure- he had no reason to be rude to her either, you're excusing his regular behavior simply because she ain't Jaken. Anything else?
Rin doesn't change Sesshomaru overnight, it's a gradual and long process
Well duh!!! Just like you don't lose the pounds you gained from eating in one sit 12 donuts a week ago. Stating the obvious and for what? What's exactly your mf point?
The silence part is important, idk how to tell you there is a power imbalance in their relationship from the moment he tells her to be quiet. He didn't say please, he didn't ask her to, he told her to be quiet. Like a parent would, if I could count the times my mom told me to shush.... That's your first indicator he is not her friend, he is not her equal.
Letting you Be Yourself: The Panther Demon Arc
the first frame the audience sees in the anime sets the scene, painting the Sessshomaru entourage in a serene manner, indicating a level of comfort between group members (episode 75). This is vastly different from our last depiction of Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship. In episode 44, he was unable to withstand her (albeit annoying) childish antics. But here, it’s observable that Sesshomaru can accept her and her package of unconventional fun. Not only does he tolerate and even more so, accept Rin, but he accepts her influence on his vassal, Jaken and allows them to be free around him.
Is called developing patience. I can assure you that when you're a parent or an older bro/sis and your kid/younger sibling is noisy af you either learn to tolerate that or get used to it for kids are kids abd you have to let them be kids. Next.
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She's a child, she's not stupid.
The Abducted Rin: Calling her Name
The respect that Sesshomaru shows Rin is insurmountable. However, the InuYasha franchise is clever to portray the subtlety of Sesshomaru’s respect for her. KV on Twitter points out how highly he regards his companion and never relegates her to anything less than the value that she as a person embodies (@KVndie via Twitter). He consistently humanizes her. 
He only sees how important she is to him after her ass dies a second time. What do you mean? He respects her enough to not coddle her, she is independent and taught her to be self sufficient from the very start. That's respect. He consistently humanizes her because... She ... Is ... Human! OMG WHAT A SHOCKER!
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As Naraku remarks on his hostage to Sesshomaru, "Naturally, the girl you're looking for is not here…,” he continues, “the girl is in custody outside of the castle..." Naraku never makes an attempt to give her personhood, leaving her unnamed, disposable, and relegating her to a mere "girl." But Sesshomaru doesn’t take any of this. He is a cold-hearted Daiyokai, yet he still makes an effort and upholds his principle to refer to her as Rin — not a replaceable “girl.”
Naraku is a mf genius. It didn't quite click until now he wanted to see if she was important or not to him and to what extent. For he planned his moves that way, making people turn against one another. While he wouldn't have made Rin turn against Sess he set everything up so he would end up wanting to kill Kohaku and in doing so, Inugang would have engaged against Sess.
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Sesshomaru’s insistence on using Rin’s name isn’t only highlighted in this isolated incident though. It pays off. It is an ongoing theme in their dynamic throughout the series.
That's her name ... How you want him to call her? Baby?
I could go on and on but... This is a fucking essay. And then I stumble against more bullcrap:
The second point I want to highlight here is Sesshomaru’s reaction to Rin’s fall and her risky expedition. At this point, it’s unquestionable that Rin has a special place in his heart.
Of course she has a special spot in his heart. I won't deny that. What worries me is how you're trying to justify the way she's important to him since she was a child. As if his way of seeing her had changed.
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I'm gonna disagree by agreeing with you in a few pointers. Kagome and Kikyo were rivals, they both romantically love the same guy. Kagome being the only one who could save Kikyo chooses to help her, knowing damn well Inuyasha would have suffered if Kikyo had died- further more, if it was in Kagome's hands to do something about it.
Rin on the other hand, I will applaud to her how she grew past her fear of Kagura after being kidnapped by her, she saw her body in the river and said fuck it and did her best to try to pull her from the water. I loved how stubborn and brave she was, even tho Sess had to pull everyone out of the water- she deserves a gold star. You go baby girl!!!
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Rin later makes a cheeky comment, noting Kagura’s romantic interest in Sesshomaru. Jaken brushes this off as childish naivety. But for the spectator, this establishes two things: (1) That Rin does not see Kagura as a rival for Lord Sesshomaru’s attention, let alone affection; and (2) that Rin is still a child. Rin is certainly a child, with a youthful and fresh outlook on life that brings out the best in people. But even as a child, her relationship with Sesshomaru is incredibly healthy, clear, and surprisingly communicative.
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Why would she? She's not a spoiled brat
Nah? I thought her double D indicated otherwise. OF COURSE SHE'S A MF CHILD.
Why do you keep mentioning is healthy? Do you need reassurance of it? Communicative in what way? Cuz if you wanna talk about communication let's talk about how he didn't even acknowledge her ass when she gave birth. He didn't even say her name, didn't even look at her. Tell me now how they are communicative and healthy?
I could go on, I really but all I'm getting from this load of bullshit I'm forcing myself to read is how you do in fact need to reassure yourself thr ship is god tier and is... How you said it was? Ah, healthy.
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Anyways, thanks for reading and if you see any typo ... My apologies, I tried. Also if you have any input or I was out of line in some way, my apologies once more.
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aoiaoimm · 4 years
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Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru: character- couple analysis: who wore the galaxies, who lightened up the stars?
• Written by me.
• Personal thoughts.
• Ao3 link here
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"What I am saying then is just because you don’t know how you manage to be conscious, how you manage to grow and shape your body, doesn’t mean that you’re not doing it. Equally, if you don’t know how the universe shines the stars, constellates the constellations, or galactifies the galaxies – you don’t know but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing it just the same way as you are breathing without knowing how you breathe."
----Alan Watts from the book The Essence of Alan Watts Vol. 4: Death (1975)
---------------
On Facebook, there is a topic that came up like this: Can you guys try to list out how many rival pairs are there in Haikyuu?
Someone suggested Hinata and Kageyama. Others said it’s obviously like the relationship between Nekoma and Karasuno, or the equal of Nishinoya and Yaku's abilities. Speaking of the barrier, there's Aone, there's Tendou, there's Matsukawa. Although a bit skewed, there are people who think that this is Bokuto, Kuroo.
At that time, I thought like this: You know, Iwaizumi and Oikawa are also rivals.
The beginning of their story begins with a few small images: Oikawa with the passion for volleyball from an early age, and Iwaizumi who was drawn to his fanciful hobby even when his full attention had been put into the racquet he used to catch insects and forests. Starting from that prologue, Oikawa Tooru's world only had volleyball, and Iwaizumi Hajime's world only had Oikawa Tooru. Although I was very hesitant in writing all the above, but I don’t think that is wrong. If everyone has carefully watched the anime and even read the manga, people will see almost any frame, when Furudate-sensei describes Oikawa's growth, Iwaizumi is always there for him. Supporting him, looking at him, staying behind him. Never once did Iwaizumi exploit anything other than volleyball and Oikawa, perhaps the world for Iwaizumi is just Oikawa, to go to school in the morning, to study, play volleyball together. Perhaps not just a friend, Iwaizumi to Oikawa is a quiet walk after a late workout, a light from a window in a dark night, a clenched fist that adds more warmth. Surely, even when Iwaizumi was just a child, his thoughts were like this: He is simple-minded, he is very stubborn, a crybaby, and he doesn’t know how to take care of himself. I have to look after him, I have to be here. I should be the support he needs, I should take care of him.
Because Iwaizumi Hajime has always been like this: hot-tempered but easy-going, grumpy but firm with his own gentle tenderness. He doesn't ask for anything, because maybe for Iwaizumi, just as long as Oikawa is okay, he is fine either. Oikawa is his best friend, the person he cares about the most, rather than the fact that he didn't start with a love for volleyball like Oikawa, more than an insect cage and racket. Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, look, this serve is great, let's play volleyball. It’s okay, Oikawa. I choose you.
And then what?
Oikawa collapses in front of him, doesn’t even have even a bit of joy for playing volleyball. This is not just a painful pain for Oikawa, but it is snatching what Iwaizumi wants most- which he has always tried hard to collect and preserve- and shatter to pieces. Iwaizumi was there when Oikawa started his passion for volleyball and watched the way it sprouted around him, unable to stop Oikawa from his own guilt. Iwaizumi was there when they entered the middle school together, became captain and ace, and lost at the hands of Shiratorizawa. Yet it's still not that he can save Oikawa from that painful black hole in the end, until Oikawa explodes in front of him, until Iwaizumi almost couldn’t stop from gung further, before he can do anything with the younger setter that year.
On many forums, websites, media types, in fact, there are many people who have different opinions: think about it, Iwaizumi can choose a softer and less violent way to wake Oikawa up isn't it? Why does he always have to be so violent like that? Are they really friends? They're teammates, aren't they?
The answer is: only because they’re teammates, that they can treat each other as so.
Because they’re friends, Iwaizumi can bring all the anger in him down on Oikawa with a hit on the head. Listen carefully, the sounds from the invisible story page, the sounds that literary minds bring you. The frown on Iwaizumi's face, the way his fists tighten around Oikawa's collar before he gives him a bump on the forehead, they're saying it too.
If they were a normal friends, would it be possible to one of them to immediately hit the other person? If they were only normal friends, would you not hesitate, not be afraid of anything, not feel upset and do something like that?
I'm not promoting violence, I'm trying to understand the emotions that are cornered into muscular movement, in a person who has always been familiar with the watching position, with the role of a supporter.
The blow that Iwaizumi gave to Oikawa, is exactly the same as the punch Oikawa was almost swung towards Kageyama without thinking. If Iwaizumi wasn’t there, what would happen after? But of course, we have no chance to discuss that subject, because Iwaizumi was there, sliding right where he needed to be as if the universe was always, always watching them. Certainly a part of him wanted to scream: look! Feel it! This is what you intend to do with Kageyama! Think it through, what are you thinking? You are a fool! You really have no cure!
But he didn’t. Instead, he said:
“Among us, no one has the ability to win against Ushiwaka in a one-on-one match. But damn, volleyball has six people on the court and that must have a reason! Even if the person on the other side of the net is a first-year genius or Ushiwaka, six who are stronger are stronger!”
Maybe that's what Oikawa wants to hear the most. Perhaps Oikawa doesn't want to hear people call him the best setter, doesn't want to hear people praise him anymore. Perhaps what Oikawa wants is someone to come over and tell him that no one can win against Ushijima alone, that he has already tried his best, that he doesn't need to worry anymore, just rest. Now it's everyone's turn. The people on the same side of the net are all his allies, Oikawa had Kitagawa Daiichi by then, just that he didn't realize they were what he needed until Iwaizumi told him that. He had been rolling around in those hellish years, hurting himself, pressing himself on the involuntary burden like Atlas with the eternal punishment of carrying the earth on his shoulders. Oikawa has never wondered then, what about the other thing?
The joy he craved when playing volleyball.
"Suddenly, I feel invincible."
Feeling that there's nothing that could win over him right then, it's because Oikawa Tooru suddenly realized he was with such a person.
Instead of advising Oikawa Tooru to remove the burden of this planet from his shoulders, Iwaizumi Hajime suggested them to do it together until they couldn't anymore, until the world crumbled on their shoulders.
Instead of smooth and sad goodbye words, Iwaizumi Hajime said that you are the partner I can boast, an excellent setter. No matter which team you join, that fact will never change.
You know, Iwaizumi Hajime is a guy with a lot of "didn't", with a lot of "instead", only for Oikawa Tooru.
Oikawa Tooru is a proud and arrogant jerk, enjoying jokes and compliments about himself. Think, when you are being called "excellent setter", what kind of face would you have? In each match, when you look at the opponent, what kind of face would you have? A smirk, probably. Brown eyes quickly become sharp but a little arrogant, it's also right to say that Oikawa Tooru is a complacent, but it is not wrong to think that he knows his ability, aware of what he is, what he should do to keep it up, how he is better than others, how people look up on him.
However, after watching the anime, I felt like the kind of looks Oikawa gave Iwaizumi when he finished their challenge, was something stranger. I mean, Oikawa has been praised a thousand times before, right? Surely he must not be too surprised anymore? Yet he is. The pupils opened their eyes wide with every single of Iwaizumi's words, he probably couldn't believe this was the person three years ago who slammed his forehead into Oikawa’s face. When Iwaizumi ends his impromptu speech and Oikawa turns around to face Iwaizumi, there is a kind of emotion in his eyes that is usually not there when Oikawa receives a compliment. It is called warmth. It is called pride. It is called a tender emotion, the noble respect between two friends that not everyone can have, when both find themselves stopping by the familiar park, under the moonlight.
"..... But when we confront each other, I will definitely defeat you"
“I have no intention of losing either."
For everyone, this is simply Iwaizumi's fight with Oikawa, or a hint about what will happen in the future, for example, that they will meet again even if they choose two different schools. For me, this is Iwaizumi's last respect for Oikawa when their high school volleyball career is over, as the two prepare to turn to a new chapter of their lives without the other person.
Do you know? Considering someone as a peer competitor is a kind of gentle respect.
Talking about personal issues again, for a while I was very determined to complete the literature test my school took in order to be able to be in the excellent students team. There was this girl in the same class as me who attended the test with me, and when it came to the exam day, she jokingly asked me that because we are in the same class, that can I go easy on her. I also just smiled back then, but actually in my head, I kept thinking. I didn't tell her, but I wanted to say no, I won't need to hold back on you. I will do my best if we compete with each other, because I respect you, because I know you are amazing and powerful enough to me to do that.
So, I think Iwaizumi means the same thing. The fact that he seriously considers Oikawa to be his opponent is kinda odd, because we've always been used to look at him as someone who silently looks after Oikawa, walking behind him, taking care of him. As Ushijima said, almost everyone tried to assert that without Oikawa, Aoba Johsai would be just a mediocre team. But no, after all, Iwaizumi was there, facing Oikawa, on equal position with Oikawa, forcing Oikawa to seriously accept himself as an opponent. Everyone knows this, but to me, I still want to say that Iwaizumi Hajime is really, really strong.
He doesn’t want to stay in the back anymore. He didn't want to be overshadowed by Oikawa, he didn't want to be silent, he wanted to stop watching. He wanted to take a step forward. He wants to be a rival to Oikawa.
Yesterday, while rewatching "Seijou after match", I was surprised to realize Oikawa's eyes were so soft, to realize Iwaizumi was always in his own way, steadfast and thorny until the last minute.
Perhaps Iwaizumi's wish at that time was more than just facing Oikawa on the court. It was his own way of expressing- apart from his deep respect- that he wants to see Oikawa again. He wants to be with Oikawa again, with anything related to volleyball. Perhaps all the little things that Iwaizumi Hajime wants is just to once again feel his connection with Oikawa, once again meet him when the two have became adults,
Once again,
Can be able to play volleyball together.
Oikawa Tooru is covered by the whole galaxy, but Iwaizumi Hajime is the one who lights up the stars.
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So, new data Of Lilianne!
— I Think I Never mentioned What wand type She has, but I Think Without a Doubt The Second One Is Made Of Yew, so I Was reading Of The meaning and etc Of The Woods and The yew Is Made for funerals and iniation so seeing that She has Lost so Many People I Think Is fitting and The core Of This wand Is Hippogriff feather because I really think She Would give The wand The respect it Think It deserves
— Given The Many duels and Creatures She needs to Fight in the game She has Many scars around her body so She always have This bandages with her, Chiara and Pomfrey tried to dissapear Them with Magic but She doesn't really like the “Magic out” Of things so She refuses The help.
— Ah! This Is important, her relationship with Merula Is different because Of a Important Event, so it deviates Of The canon Of The Patronus Quest but Lilianne couldn't conjure her Patronus because She tried to use specifically a memory Of Jacob The problem Is Jacob not only gives her happiness but also triggers negative Emotions. But Merula could and She... surprisingly saved Lilianne from The dementors, Like Lilianne did The same for her in The Ice Vault but She Never expected Merula Of All People to save her. This caused that Lilianne for The First Time thinked “Hey, maybe She's not that bad” and as Someone who grew up with The Thought Of “Bad People stays as Bad people” She really had a conflict. But After that, she's a Little More forgiving Of Snyde, They still not Friends and still Hate how much They remind Them to their negative traits but They're no longer “enemies” but also Can't consider Them as friends, they just see The Other as “Respectable rival” and well, They both try to be less mean to eachother Little steps after All.
— I Think I Said The Lanusse are latinos but I never really Said Of where part of Latinoamérica are They, They're Ecuatorians
—When Lilianne is overwhelmed starts to speak in spanish because She Can't really find The Perfect Words in English, I Like to think Rowan Would learn spanish just for her and try comfort her speaking in her Language
— Her Father was an Artisan, he Would make her Different crafts for her Birthday and She really Likes seeing him Work, She started doing crafts with her own hands because She wants to remember him
— Like Liz, She doesn't Like eating meat, so She's More Of Vegetarian
— Ben reminds her Of Jacob, She's easily worried about him because She fears losing him like her brother
— Her animagus form Is a Crow, really, The simbology Of death Never leaves her alone. Is just Like Remus with His wolf imagery
— Her First Boggart still being Jacob, but now everything that happened now This Will transform in a Corpse Of Someone She cares about
— She's still a bit Of a jerk, but After The Death Of Rowan She learned that She has to be less “Full Of herself” and Grow Up, but Given The type Of person She was Before nobody in The circle really trust her to be The leader that's Why They already want to go on with their Lives and If Is possible, Forget They were part Of This “Lanusse mess” at All.
(Going under the cut to save our beloved scrollers the space) 
I seriously dig wands that have unique cores, even though I know the three “supreme” cores that Ollivander uses are supposed to be...well, supreme. The best ones. To that I say, nonsense! The Elder Wand has a thestral hair for it’s core, and hippogriffs are one of my favorite potterverse creatures, so I dig that! One of my head-canons for Aurelie is that her wand core is an Abraxan feather. As far as wand wood goes, Yew is incredibly cool. Gail has Aspen, and Luca has Rowan. (Oh yes, I really did that.) 
I can give some mad respect points to Lilianne for not wanting her scars to go away. It’s the same reason Zuko couldn’t lose his scar, the same reason Elphaba had to stay green. It’s a part of who she is. Harry couldn’t lose his lightning bolt either! (Oh god, am I agreeing with Dumbledore? Never tell anyone this happened...) 
I really dig what you added in for the Patronus Quest, holy heck. Because I basically had the inversion happen in my fic where Luca gave Merula a pep talk from her breakdown and she was able to create her shield patronus. Seriously, I think it’s honestly a good thing if characters sometimes don’t know how. They stress again and again in the books that the Patronus Charm is highly advanced and challenging magic. Especially for a Hogwarts student. Harry learning it at thirteen was remarkable. As for my twins, (it’s funny, I recently got tagged in a post about this, I need to answer that) their Patronuses (Patroni?) are still under consideration. I’m not altogether sure if both of them can cast a Patronus. In the interests of fairness and realism, I’m going to say that one of them is an Animagus, the other can cast a Patronus. Just don’t know which is which yet. 
That’s so cool! As for the Fawleys’ heritage, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. All I know is that they’re biracial, and one of their parents is white, the other being middle-eastern, though which exact country is still undecided. I also don’t know which parent is which, mostly because I have yet to decide, even now, what Nina Fawley’s maiden name is or what family she was a part of. Other details I know is that Luca is lactose intolerant, Gail is dyslexic, and the Fawley family is Jewish. Or perhaps the Khannas are. Or both. Basically. HPHM just needs to have at least one of its’ families be Jewish and have that come up in the next holiday quest. I am waiting, Jam City.
Luca and Gail are in so many ways, defined by their relationship to Jacob. Luca adores him and idealizes him. Gail cannot stand him. This shapes very much who the twins spend time with primarily. Then again, Gail was raised by Rakepick, so she’s got a bunch of other familial trauma to work through. Her relationship to Merula, like Luca’s, can reflect that of her relationship to Jacob. Also, can I just say that I really dig the Crow Animagus form? I’ve really been into the symbolism of crows lately, and trying to integrate that into my own work. They’re just a lot of fun!
Rowan’s death kind of changed us all, didn’t it? I feel so bad for Lilianne that she genuinely grows as a person after it happens but no one can forget what has come before, and they’re all probably pretty shaken too, so they don’t trust her. That’s devastating, I shan’t lie. Meanwhile, Luca was absolutely broken by Rowan’s death. (Between that, the Portrait Vault, and Y6CH45...my poor baby is spiraling.) and Gail was equally sent into shock, but not just by Rowan’s death specifically. But also because Rakepick tried to kill Ben. For so many reasons, that throws her. 
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