#i also recently stubbed the same toe and it felt like it never really healed so if it wasn’t permabusted before it certainly is now

[aijee]

IDOTSC BTS #5: All tied up with no strings attached

A pretty valid question to pose: Why haven’t WW and J fallen in love with each other? They seem to exhibit emotional compatibility and even greater physical chemistry. I’m sure WW has definitely wondered such a question, whether legitimately or as a passing thought. Since I couldn’t really get into it in the story, here are my thoughts regarding that.

Spoiler alert: it’s not just drama for the sake of drama. Who knew!

Here’s one thing I’ve realized in this current pandemic era, during which anxiety, stress, and concerns about the future have reached an all-time high. I find myself engaging more and more in things I objectively like—writing, watching certain Youtube channels, playing video games, other creative endeavors that may even include friends—to the point that I feel like I’m suffocating in them sometimes. I try to smother the pain with pleasure, which doesn’t exactly fix anything that’s actually inside. They simply help hide the noise. Even then, excessive pleasure can make me more tired. Why do I do it?

First, I don’t like settling, even for objectively inconsequential things. Going at 100% all the time can yield great results, but inevitably leads to burnout. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired all the time.

Second, I have a theory that is sort of analogous to gate control theory: the idea that, if you’re in pain, adding a source of non-painful input inhibits transmission of that first pain to your brain. Imagine getting a cut on your finger and then sucking on it, putting pressure on that finger to not only clean the blood but to also suppress the pain. Or you’ve accidentally stubbed your toe on the coffee table and you start rubbing the skin to dissipate the feeling. I wonder if this theory applies to psychological pain.

For WW, engaging in this seemingly inconsequential, non-painful no-strings experience helps numb the pain of his career. Vice versa goes for J; inequality in Asian entertainment, especially regarding unfair treatment of non-Koreans in Korean entertainment, has long been a historical issue in the industry (e.g. oldies will remember Super Junior M, and even EXO’s earlier eras are still pretty recent). WW’s and J’s relationship is a means to ultimately selfish ends. Deep down, I think they both know that any chance of “real romance” has been fully tarnished by this yearning for internal contentment through the guise of companionship, one founded on mutual struggle in life and work—and seeming understanding thereof. 

TL;DR: It’s a relationship where the parties involved know how to scratch each other’s itches because they have similar wounds, but wounds aren’t healed by scratching them. It just feels good.

For those with little experience in relationships, I understand that the idea of FWB can be very foreign and/or simplistic. “It’s just sex.” I myself don’t have experience in it. I see sex as intimate and requiring of great trust (I didn’t even know sex could be casual until university). But I’ve been reflecting on one particular past relationship and realized that, though not FWB, was pretty much the same. It was in high school. In what felt like a relationship where I was respected, I actually felt desirable and admired in a way that fed a young ego desperate for the validation I lacked. I gave this other person gifts, time, attention, all the bullet points for being a good partner on paper—but in my heart and soul, it was all for my emotional satiation.

In the end, I don’t think I truly liked this person, just the sugary words and reassurances they gave me, but never the body or aspirations that came with them. I liked the idea of this person, but not the person themselves. And, my god, that’s the type of shit you hear all the time in try-hard indie love songs from VSCO teens and young artists brandishing their ukuleles and unnecessary vocal trills. But it’s so damn true. The imagination is a dangerously powerful thing. (n=1, take it with a grain of salt.)

I’ve spent the last few months grappling with how fucking MESSY life and relationships really are. For so long, I’d subscribed to picture-perfect ideals of family, friends, significant others. Unconditional love doesn’t leave room for hurt—right? This grand ambition of love that I’ve written about, read about, and consumed has been challenged so many times and it’s only recently that I’m realizing it. Perhaps I wrote about unconditional love so much because I thought I felt like lacked it, or, really, what I imagined it to be. Perhaps it was inevitable that I’d eventually challenge these “fantasies” I dreamt of. Perhaps that’s why we also write so much damn fiction about it, because their reality is questionable.

But rounding back to the story, as for WW and J, I fully anticipate genuine feelings seeping in once in a while; they’re only human. But at the end of the day, as the characters that they are with the goals and lives they have, they wouldn’t have worked out romantically in the end.

Originally written on February 11, 2021

#aijeepost #idotsc bts #a longer bts than usual I think #may or may not be posting in anticipation of the next chapter 👀

[omgktlouchheim]

Word Vomit Wednesday - Romanticizing Rejection

Welcome to Word Vomit Wednesday! A series of blog posts where I attempt to process thoughts and feelings around a specific topic or current events that I, and sometimes the rest of the Internet, ruminate obsessively about. All thoughts/opinions/experiences are my own (unless otherwise indicated); I don’t claim anything that I write to represent anyone other than myself.

Recently, I’ve made some more deliberate efforts to create community and meet people now that I’m more settled and steady in Tucson. This need to venture out and start testing the waters led me to sign up for a three-month virtual community that was being beta-tested by my life-coach. The calls were scheduled to happen once a month for two hours with a max of up to 30 people. They began with an exercise to ground us and any anxieties we might be bringing into the call, a brief ice-breaker to get acquainted with one another, then a specific topic that the majority voted for would be presented, either by my life coach or a volunteer from the group that we would build a conversation around. On the last call that we had in November, the topic was about rejection. Mostly around intimate or romantic relationships, although we also got into the ways we’ve felt rejected by others in often small, subtle ways that resulted in big impacts on our lives. Other than discussing those smaller moments I admit, I was not interested in the topic. I couldn’t quite figure out what was so compelling about rejection.

Then, as I do, I started thinking about it. I read a Refinery29 article that talked about the man who invented “Rejection Therapy,” a game where the aim is to get rejected by others to build resilience to the fear of rejection, and watched a TedTalk where another man who took the game and challenged himself to vlog getting rejected for 100 days and how it changed his life for the better. As I thought, and read, and watched I came to an understanding that underneath the blanket of “rejection” seems to be where the issues actually lie. Fear of putting yourself out there. Not wanting to open yourself up to potentially painful situations. Anxious/avoidant/dysfunctional attachment issues. Asking for help or for something that you want or need. Tapping into your own creativity. Setting a boundary. The rejection itself doesn’t seem to be the actual issue. The underlying issue is showing up in the world fully as yourself and the reality that you may have to make some tough decisions regarding your relationships when certain people are not so accepting. Sometimes the fear of rejection is also about how a rejection is relayed. Humans are notorious for responding to others in a multitude of fucked up ways. Ghosting, public humiliation, abuse, torture, condescension/belittling/minimizing, interrupting, ignoring, attacking, defending, stonewalling, projecting/deflecting, lying… the list goes on and on. Given all of this, I feel like rejection and the ways it can be demonstrated is more telling of the source and is imperative information to have for our own health and well-being.

Pain, in and of itself, is important. Not in the bullshit “no pain no gain” way, but in that it is a part of the human condition in the same way that joy, sadness, excitement and other emotions and sensations are a part of the human condition. When feelings come up for us, they present us with data based on internal and external stimuli and it is our job to interpret that data as accurately as possible to then take any action that may be required of us. We can have a tendency to have difficulty when thinking about our feelings this way because in this society we are essentially conditioned to cut off communication between ourselves and our emotions and other physiological sensations our bodies use to relay important messages to us. It can make it very hard, scary even, to retrain ourselves to listen to ourselves. Instead we choose to ignore feelings when they come up, maybe become annoyed with ourselves when uncomfortable feelings arise, binge eat to try to physically shove discomfort down, shop compulsively because we think something external will quiet or “fix” the internal, and develop a variety of other coping mechanisms because we don’t know what to do with them and probably had never been given the space to safely explore what they could be trying to tell us. When pain gets activated either physically or emotionally, it usually means a major boundary has been crossed, or something is wrong and needs to be checked out right away. When we stub our toe walking into the couch going from one room to the next in our house, we learn to pay more attention to our surroundings and adapt. When we’ve been running around from errand to errand all day and our body begins to ache, we know we’ve reached our limit and need to take a break. And when we come down with some illness and are coughing so hard that it hurts to even breathe, we go to the doctor. Because we feel pain, we are able to take charge and make any number of possible necessary changes to our lives. It can become trickier to know what action to take when our feelings get hurt (because it’s both a physical and  largely internal response), but really the same principles apply. When someone says or does something that hurts your feelings you figure out what nerve that hit and determine if this is a person you keep in your life and to what extent based on your particular boundaries and needs. Easier said than done, I know. 

On the flip side of this, and as the title of this essay indicates, we are not only a society that teaches us to fear pain and any “negative” feelings but we are also one that is OBSESSED with suffering. Everything from our narratives about tragic “starving artists,” the 24-hour news cycle, the internet, the romanticization of drama in our relationships, violence permeates almost every aspect of our culture. There is a huge difference between pain and suffering though. Pain, like I said before, is there to relay a message to us that we then interpret, take action on, and release. Suffering, on the other hand, is something we do to ourselves. We replay old narratives on loops that keep us trapped in emotional purgatory and we take our issues out on others instead of tackling them head on and making difficult but necessary changes in our lives. And sometimes we even allow and cause the suffering of others because we benefit from the exploitation of others. So, it’s entirely possible that it may not even be pain from rejection we’re all trying to avoid, but all pain because we’re already so overloaded with so much pain AND suffering. We are so desensitized to pain in a variety of forms, no wonder our relationship with it is dysfunctional. We may honestly, be too tired to even think about engaging with it. Unfortunately, when we ignore it we allow injustice to flourish and we lose out on so much. Not only do we not see all the choices and opportunities laid out before us, or take risks in relationships, we are so used to fear that we end up rejecting ourselves. Our worlds become so small and we do this to ourselves. And this is the main difference between pain and suffering. Pain releases when we recognize it and take action, suffering is what we do to ourselves by choice even when there are so many other options available to us.  

We will often choose to reject and betray ourselves before stepping into the unknown. I am no stranger to this myself. There have been so many times that I had an inkling to do that thing or talk to that person or allow myself to want something and I never would. I would make up some excuse or other and not give myself a chance. “Well, if they’re interested they’ll say something. I don’t want to bother them.” “That sounds like a really cool job, but I don’t think I’m qualified.” “I’m not going to submit this project for the competition, I probably don’t have a shot at winning.” This year I’ve been recognizing many of the ways in which I reject myself, often so subtly, that I barely even know I’m doing it. Because it’s typically modeled and learned behavior and unless we start doing healing work, rejecting ourselves just seems normal. It takes a lot of work just to hear the whispers: “Don’t go out tonight, everybody sucks so it’s not like you’d meet anyone decent anyway,” “Don’t speak your truth because everyone you care about will abandon you,” “You have to hustle or you’ll never be worthy of success or love.” There are probably millions of examples and they’ll show up differently for different people. Not only do we adopt these behaviors and narratives, we let them drive everything we do because we believe they are part of our identities. It’s a lie. The fact is, you get to decide who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world. It takes practice, work, and a lot of self-discovery. We also face many obstacles and various forms of systemic oppression that are so much larger than any one individual, which can also be another reason why showing up as yourself can feel dangerous. As difficult and scary as it may be, it’s also worth it even if you don’t initially know  how you’re going to do it or where it’s going to take you. 

There’s this game I really like to play on my phone called Flow. It’s kind of like a connect-the-dots puzzle. You have a shape with multiple pairs of dots inside that you have to connect without impeding the other paths of the other connecting dots. What I like most about this game is that once you get one path, the other ones start to become more clear. Flow is all about taking that first step on one path and connecting the dots as you go. The paths are not always linear and straightforward. Sometimes there are twists, sharp-corners and backtracking. But once you start toward something; an idea, goal, etc., worlds you never knew existed start to open up. Toward the end of my studies to get my certificate in audio engineering and production the faculty held a competition for the post-production projects we’d been working on. I hadn’t planned on submitting mine even though I loved it and was really proud of the work I did and how it turned out. The moment I was aware of the competition I heard a whisper that said, “It’s probably not as good as other people’s.” Flash forward: I won first place. After seeing my project, a friend in my class said I should submit it. For whatever reason, I decided to internalize his belief in me and my talent and I went for it. Had I not done that I would have missed out, not only on winning the top prize, but on being asked about my process and being celebrated for something really cool that I did and integrating more self-confidence and the message that I deserve to be in the running for the things I want into my psyche. What I learned from that and other experiences since, is that on the flip side of rejection is courage.

Katie Louchheim would like to wish everyone a very Merry Impeachmas!

[chanzicoup]

A/N: I was really tempted not to write this since some of you may know that my father had a heart attack in November and almost died because of it. But I realized that he survived and is changing his habits for the better so everything is okay now. He's eating better, smoking less, and not stressing about work as often as he did before; which was suspected to have caused the heart attack.

myocarditis: Inflammation of the middle layer of the heart wall. Myocarditis is usually caused by a viral infection. A severe case can weaken the heart, which can lead to heart failure, abnormal heartbeat, and sudden death. Treatment may include medication to regulate the heartbeat and improve heart function. In rare but severe cases, a device may be needed to help the heart function.

cardiomyopathy: An acquired or hereditary disease of the heart muscle. This condition makes it hard for the heart to deliver blood to the body, and can lead to heart failure. Symptoms include breathlessness, swollen legs and feet, and a bloated belly. Drugs, implanted devices, surgery, and in severe cases, transplant, are treatments.

~blake

Jin

Everything was normal, you two woke up and began cooking breakfast for yourselves when you felt  pain in your chest. This was happening to your for the last couple of weeks but you had paid no mind to it. Things were stressful recently so you figured it was your body's way of telling you to cool off. Jin noticed your behavior and convinced you to sit down and stop working when he got to worried. He had thought nothing of it as well. Your vision blurred and your chest pained you more; you fell to your knees and Jin wrapped you in his arms, already on the phone for an ambulance. One ride to the hospital and three gruesome hours in the waiting room for Jin, the doctors came out and told them you had a mild case of Myocarditis. He grew worried, of course, but they assured him that you had been diagnosed just in time and that this was not so severe as needing an operation. Only medication was needed. To his relief Jin thanked the doctor and rushed into your room to see you. You were crying a lot, still scared from what had happened. You thought you were going to die.

"Come here princess, it'll be alright."

"We're fortunate there is a medicine for it."

Suga

You guys were having a little argument when you felt something was off. The fight wasn't serious but the two of you raised your voices a bit which made things seem more heated then they really were. While Yoongi turned around to speak more of his side of the fight, he saw you gripping the end of the dinning room table and trying to control your breathing. He immediately shut up and walked next to you. You told him you were okay, just out of breath, but he thankfully didn't listen to you. You were so pale and you were shaking. He drove you to the hospital and pushed his way through fans who were there as well, carrying you in his arms. He shouted for a doctor when he saw your eyes were closed. He sat in the waiting room, crying. He didn't think you were going to make it. Security escorted him to a private room so he wasn't being watched by fans. It was an hour later when the doctor found him and Yoongi thought you were already gone by the look on the doctor's face. The doctor told Yoongi you had a serious case of cardiomyopathy, which Yoongi recalled as the same disease that took your grandfather's life when you were a little girl. Your case was so severe that you'd need a device put inside of you, but the surgery was expensive and the hospital couldn't get in contact with your family to pay the expenses.

"I'll pay for it all, just do the surgery." He gave the doctor his card and sat back down.

"Sir, I don't think you understand how costly this surgery will be-"

"It can be a million dollars and I'd still pay for it. That is my love in there and I'll be damned if they die on me because of something as ridiculous as money."

J-Hope

He was at practice when his manager ran into the room, out of breath and sweating. 'Had he ran from the other side of the building?' J-Hope had thought. Then his manager looked at J-Hope and told him you were in the hospital and in critical condition. J-Hope thought that was impossible, he had seen you this morning and you were fine! Then his manager said you had been found by your sister in your living room, barely alive and that he needed to go to the hospital immediately. He had never ran to his car so fast in his life. He sped to the hospital, his manager's car following not too far behind him. He'd arrived and the doctors allowed him to visit you before you had gotten emergency surgery, you had just woken up and they weren't 100% sure you'd wake up later. They didn't want to say anything yet, not while they did not have complete certainty about anything.

"Y/N can you hear me, love?" J-Hope sat on your bed and touched your face ever so gently.

"Loud and clear." You chuckled weakly, and that was when you admitted to him you had cardiomyopathy and that you never told him because you thought he'd worry. You also made it clear to him that you've been keeping up with your meds and taking good care of yourself. You apologize over and over, feeling guilty for getting sick again.

"Sweetie it's no one's fault, not even yours. We'll get through this and you'll get better. I promise."

RM

You'd confessed your case of Myocarditis to Namjoon when you'd first started dating. You'd caught it when you were younger but made a full recovery. You'd also mentioned you were more susceptible to sickness and catching it again because it weakened your system when you'd gotten it for the first time since you were so young. When you fell to your knees suddenly one night he thought you were sick again and immediately took you to the doctor. He was right, you'd caught it again. You both were worried after the doctor, coincidentally the same doctor who treated you the last time, told you this case was more severe. Your treatment the first time was round of medications but it seemed that you'd need those and a pacemaker to be implanted to regulate your heartbeat. Namjoon had to be strong for you so he held you while you cried the night before your surgery and hid his own tears as he kissed yours away. You were just so scared and kept feeling like something was going to go wrong. Begging for you to calm down, he cradled you in his chest.

"You're the strongest person I've ever met, Y/N. You can’t give up yet, I won’t allow you to. Try to get some sleep for me, please."

Jimin

You'd keep your sickness a secret from him as well, after all you had it under control and had found no need to worry him about it when your Myocarditis was not as severe as other unfortunate people. One day Jimin was looking for his documents to renew his passport when he stumbled along your medical file. He was about to set it aside, not wanting to invade your privacy, when he noticed how thick it was. He looked through it and not only did it include the Myocarditis reports but it also showed the numerous surgeries you've had because of it and the devices you had to help your heart. He found you and asked why you'd never told him and poor baby would be crying because he thought you were dying and you'd coo and hug him. You told him you were fine now since you were diagnosed as a teen and had been cleared by your doctor after your last surgery.

"But you never told me. What if something happened and I didn't care for your properly!" You knew he was over reacting because he wanted to take you to the hospital because you stubbed your toe last month. If anything were to go medically wrong with you, you knew Jimin would do what was right even without knowledge of your condition.

"You're right, baby, I should've told you." You kissed his temple and he snuggled his nose into your collarbone.

V

When your stomach was slightly larger than normal, V joked that you were eating well. When your ankles swelled, he joked that you were pregnant. When you told him you weren't and that you had eaten salty foods, he believed you. You didn't know how to break your recent diagnosis of cardiomyopathy to him. Doctor's told you a transplant might be needed, but only if the first three surgeries weren't successful at healing your heart. You had no idea how to hide getting heart surgery for multiple times from Tae so you came out and told him and he sat next to you, speechless.

"Did you think I would let you go through all of this by yourself?"

"I was scared to tell you."

"Why? Did you think I would leave you because of it? That's far from the truth dovey."

Jungkook

He'd support you through it all; he'd go to all of the appointments, the check-ups, he'd even go pick up your medication for you before you even noticed you'd need more. But when you weren't around, such as when you were at home waiting for him to return from work, he'd be a mess. He'd overwork himself to try and 'sweat out' the worry he has. Not to mention he's more emotional now but he'd try to hide it as much as possible. Like a moron, he'd googled the mortality rates of the illness you had and saw how many people died from it and how rare it was. In his mind you were basically gone and it pulled the strings of his own heart and he couldn't show that side to you because you were the one who actually had the disease and he did not want you to worry about anything more than you needed to.

"You're my everything, Y/N." He'd whisper as he came to bed after you were already fast asleep, laying his head in your chest and rubbing your back. Ironically, falling asleep to your heartbeat.

#kpop #bts #kpop imagine #kpop reaction #kpop scenario #bts imagine #bts reaction #bts scenario

[dyde21]

Soulmates

@mooshie05 Had submitted a request to me that had been bouncing around my head! Basically everyone has a soulmate, and before you meet them you share their physial pain. I tweaked it slightly to fit better with what I had in my head, I hope that’s okay! (Also because the idea of someone just bleeding randomly terrified me and brought far too many logistical problems for my tired butt to deal with.) Anyway, a little short but I hope you enjoy!

XxXxXxXxX

Annabeth was pretty sure that if she wouldn't absolutely love her soul mate, she'd hate him. Clearly the whatever God there was must have had a sense of humor when designing their world. Yes, everyone in the world was born with a soulmate. Someone who'd be your other half, someone you'd live happily with as long as no accidents happened. Someone who could quiet your demons, and stoke your flames. Someone that would show you home wasn't a place, but a person. Sounds wonderful, right? The only problem was the first way you learned about them was through pain. Yes, before someone met their soulmate they had a connection. Unfortunately it wasn't some romantic longing or feeling. No, it was whenever your partner was bruised, cut, scarred or injured, you would feel a ghost of their pain.

Most of the time it wasn't that big of a deal. Occasionally there'd be some pain, enough to make you worry about them, and feel relieved when they healed knowing they were out there somewhere living their life.

Of course sometimes the worst happened. A soulmate died before you ever met them, or was in a horrible accident. It was an utterly tragic event, and physical pain aside, the emotional pain crippled a person. Years of therapy were often required to help the person cope with the loss of an unknown half of their being, and sometimes they never recovered. Luckily it wasn't as common as it could be thankfully.

It was something most people feared, but for some reason Annabeth didn't really fear that.

No, her soulmate seemed so determined to find ways to hurt himself, he was clearly to stubborn to die. She knew absolutely nothing about him, other than the fact he was clearly living some sort of fun life. It was a rare day that she woke up without some phantom ache or pain. Some reminder that “Hey! I'm your soulmate, I'm out here, and I'm a dumb ass!”

As annoying as it was, it was something Annabeth had learned to get kind of used to. She had also put a lot of thought into it, wondering if she could piece together what kind of person her soulmate was, so she could seek him out, meet him to end the dreaded pain sharing, then kick his butt for putting her through so much.

But despite all the time she spent thinking about it, the best guess she could come up with was some sort of sport. The injures were always the knees, elbows, ankles, and butt. Not the usual suspects for someone who got into a lot of fights, or someone seeking pain. No, those seemed like the normal signs of some athletic kid with no concern for his own safety, or seemingly hers.

Why couldn't he be like her? She very rarely was injured on her own. Never broken a bone, never been in a fight, never even really had a bad accident. Surely she was the perfect soulmate for someone.

Once she had complained to her dad about it, and he had just smiled and said “Bear with it. No one knows what to expect, but once you meet them you'll appreciate having known they were a part of your life the whole time. Plus it'll give you a conversation starter.” He had said with a laugh. So Annabeth didn't really talk to her dad about it again, deeming him a little too unhelpful.

In the end, she tried to listen to her family and friend's advice. Just try and bear with it, and look forward to the day her patience is rewarded. Though she had to admit it got more difficult as her friends all met theirs. Piper met a boy named Jason when they were 15. Her neighbor Will met a boy named Nico not long after. Hazel met Frank early, back when they were both 13. Her friend Leo had even found his partner in a girl named Calypso. That had cemented just how powerful the soulmate connection was in her mind. Leo had always been a bit eccentric, yet he had found a wonderful girlfriend and they seemed particularly happy together.

Even Annabeth was willing to admit that she might be a little jealous. Piper said it was cause she's always studying in libraries that “Of course you haven't met him. He's having fun, you should try it sometime.”. Annabeth just brushed that off though. Surely her soul mate in life would also love libraries right? Sure he got injured often, but he must spend a decent amount of time reading her like, right? That was what she told herself at least.

The one thing Annabeth never expected to feel was worry when the pain stopped. At first she shrugged it off, relieved that she had gone a month without dealing with some kind of pain.

Around a month and a half she began to feel a little nervous. Was everything okay with him? She had no way of knowing, and just chalked it up to the change. She was never particularly fond of change anyway. She liked permanent things.

At three months, she was downright terrified. Had something happened? It wasn't like the pain had completely stopped cold. There was still the odd pain in her foot from a stubbed toe, or the ghost of a small knick from something sharp. But the usual echoes of pain were gone. Did something major happened? It couldn't have. She'd have known if anything physical had happened. Was he okay? Was he depressed? Honestly, she felt a little silly worrying about the mental health of someone she never met and literally has only caused pain for her. Then again, he was her soul mate so it was to be expected.

At about five months without any of the usual pain, Annabeth was seriously trying to figure out a plan to find him. The tiny echoes of pain she had felt let her know she hadn't met him yet, but now both her curiosity and her concern were burning together in her, making a powerful combination.

When she felt pain flare up in her knees, elbows, butt, and shoulder she almost let out a few tears of relief. It was weird, she never thought she'd be relieved to feel pain. He was back at it. Doing whatever it was he did.

“Dude, are you okay? That was nasty.” A voice called out from somewhere nearby.

Annabeth froze in place. Surely that was just a coincidence.

“I'm fine!” A voice replied.

The sound sent a ripple through her body, it felt like a switch inside her had been turned on. Like gears that had been misaligned slipped into place. Her mind kicked into overdrive and her heart was pounding. That voice. She knew she had never heard it before, but it felt so natural. Like it was a voice she had heard her whole life. It was the only voice she wanted to hear. Dropping her backpack, she turned and took off in a dead sprint towards the source of that voice.

It was him.

IT WAS HIM.

IT WAS HIM!

She knew it. From the bottom of her soul, she knew it.

Shoving past a tall blonde she vaguely recognized at Piper's soul mate, she froze. Her eyes locked with a boy on the ground, rubbing the back of his head nervously.

The boy was tall and lean, decked out in jeans and a flannel, a skateboard overturned near him. Some small part of Annabeth's mind registered the fact a skater made perfect sense, and she was a little annoyed she hadn't pieced it together before. His eyes mesmerized her, and she instantly knew she could stare at them for hours.

“Hello?” She managed to choke out, still in shock from everything in her life sliding into place.

The boy visibly reacted to her voice as his jaw dropped as if he was feeling the same thing she was. He was feeling the same thing she was.

“What's your name?” Was all he said, slowly standing up.

“Annabeth Chase.” She replied automatically as she took in his standing form. Memorizing all the little details, the way he rested his weight heavily on one foot, had only one hand in a pocket, his hat on just a little too crooked to be intentional.

“I'm Percy Jackson.” He answered her unspoken question, still studying her.

“Have you met... your soul mate?” He asked, a clear nervousness in his voice.

Nodding, Annabeth felt tears annoyingly creeping up into the corner of her eyes. She had always told herself she wouldn't be one of those girls who cried when meeting their partner. But it was just such a relief. “I think I just did.”

Hesitantly Percy took a step forward, prompting her to as well. A second later and they rushed forward, wrapping each other in a tight hug.

“I'm so glad I found you.” He murmured into Annabeth's ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“Took you long enough.” She muttered in reply, hugging him just a little bit closer.

She was also vaguely aware of Jason talking on hurried only the phone, giving her a thumbs up.

By the time Piper had rushed over, Annabeth and Percy were sitting on the edge of a planter chatting happily. She felt the awkward tension between them quickly slipping away, as they found a comfortable pace between the two of them. It was still bumpy as they pushed and pulled, figuring out each other.

Piper had immediately introduced herself to Percy as Annabeth's best friend and future bridesmaid.

Annabeth really had never expected her soulmate to fit into her life as quickly as Percy did. The constantly small dates for coffee or lunch. The messages they woke up to each morning from each other. The little bickering and banter they both found they had a habit of starting.

Percy was also nothing like she had expected. He had recently moved to the city with his mom. He hated studying, and much preferred hanging out with friends. When pestered about the sudden change in pain, and the constant pain she felt he had immediately flushed red in embarrassment and shame. Like she had guessed, he was an avid skateboarder. However after a bad spill, a friend had mentioned that his soul mate must be miserable from all the scrapes cuts and bruises he got.

Sheepishly Percy had admitted he never considered that. Sure he had always daydreamed about Annabeth, but he had never connected the fact that his skateboarding would be bad for her. So he had just stopped. But missing it, he had taken to wearing more protection and trying to play it safe. That day had actually been the first time he had been convinced to do more of the dangerous tricks again.

Annabeth couldn't help but roll her eyes fondly at how absent minded he had been. How could he have not had realized. She was planning on complaining a little more, but he had fired back that he hated paper cuts and he had been dealing with them for years as well, which had shut her up. She hadn't really considered how many she got from all her reading either. Plus, he had tried to give up his favorite hobby for her. Not something she would have wanted to him to do of course, but the sentiment still made her heard soar.

Percy's mom had also been the coolest mom ever, it had been official. She had been downright terrified of meeting her, her mom having been a bit intimidating. But Sally had welcomed her with open arms, literally. Annabeth had been swept into a hug immediately upon the door opening.

She had also found out that he was on the swim team, that he had quickly become the top swimmer on his new team. When she had rushed out and hugged him after he had won swim meet she had gone to, it had dawned on her. Never in her life would she have imagined going to a swim meet. Not to mention standing in front of others as she shared a celebratory kiss with her soul mate, the rest of the world fading from focus. Never did she imagine passing on studying to go out and learn how to skateboard. Never did she imagine that instead of snuggling up alone to enjoy a movie that she would find another's presence much more relaxing next to her on the couch.

Standing there, staring at Percy as the water dripped from his hair, his unrestrained smile directed solely at her, as if he was happier to see her than win the meet, Annabeth realized everything had changed.

For once though, she didn't mind this change. This was the start of something permanent.

XxXxXxXxX

Thank you for reading! Please feel free to send me more percabeth fluff prompts anyone who is reading this! I still have a few in my inbox I will work through! I just write them as I’m inspired, no real order. The next thing I post will probably be chapter 4 of the Cafe!AU I’m working on. Till next time!

#pjo #percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #HoO #Thank you for the prompt! #Please feel free to send me more folks!

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

Lagom (V x MC)

*REWORKED VERSION*

THERE ARE NO V ROUTE SPOILERS IN THIS FANFIC - ALL CLEAR AHEAD!

It’s finally here!! It took so long but here is my second fanfic in my word series! It took so long because there was a lot of backwards and forwards and “is this right?” or “this is rubbish oml you can’t post this” soooo I think this is as good as it’s going to be haha, I hope you enjoy it! 

WARNINGS:

References to toxic/abusive relationships, but they're very subtle

Spoilers for Secret endings

No spoilers for V route - this also means that a lot of this is not canon (explained below)

NOTES:

This takes place after the secret endings, but in an AU where V does not die and MC never ends up in a romantic relationship with Seven. Rika has been sent away to seek professional help for her mental health, and is no longer in contact with the RFA.

lagom (n.): a Swedish word meaning not too little, not too much. Just right.

PART 1

“Right, I think we’re done.”

V scanned the apartment, squinting with the limited vision he had as checked one last time that the apartment was pristine. He was tidy by default, but today he was extra meticulous almost to the point of being obsessive. He needed everything to be perfect which, to be frank, was odd even for him. It was only MC who was visiting after all, and regrettably, she had seen a lot worse. He didn’t even need to invite her in the first place, he had only invited her to discuss a few things for the upcoming RFA party, even though everything was pretty much ready. What was he doing?

V had been living in Rika’s old apartment ever since she had gone. He told everyone that he ‘had some old documents he needed to sort through’, though Jumin was the first see right through his friend’s lies.

V had always had trouble with letting go. Ever since they were little he had collected and hoarded anything that help any sort of sentiment. Train tickets, stuffed animals, he even had a shoe box full of every birthday card he had ever received. Jumin often wondered if this was why V wanted to become a photographer, believing if he captured a moment, he could cling onto it forever. This meant that when Jumin had requested on more than one occasion that he move out of the apartment and accept the treatment for his eyes, on more than one occasion it hadn't ended terribly well.

V was never one to break in front of others, but his whole universe had just been turned upside down, inside out and back to front. His whole routine was altered, the structure beneath him collapsed and the foundation of his life had split in two, and nobody seemed to grasp that. People around him would just tell him ‘it was for the best’, that the relationship he and Rika had was ’toxic’, that they were ‘better off without each other’. Even though everything they were saying was true, nobody understood the guilt he carried upon his back, only watching from the outside.

His sun was gone, and he was left in an eclipse.

Well, not everybody misunderstood. There was one woman, one incredible woman. She spoke so softly but was honest, she practically oozed warmth but wasn’t afraid to call him out when it was necessary, and she listened to him. Never once did she try to throw her opinions on his and Rika’s relationship at him, nor did she ever judge him for his seemingly never-ending grief. She told him the truth, but never dismissed anything he told her or used the classic ‘but surely you should be happy now your free from her?’ line. Because he wasn't free, at least not then.

Gradually, the load that weighed him down got lighter, and it was because MC was with him every step of the way, never leaving his side unless he needed space. She was so patient, and that’s probably why V now trusted her so wholeheartedly.

Because it’s just trust, right? This feeling in his gut is just strong trust and admiration, right? Right?

DING DONG

Crap! V was so lost in thought that he had completely spaced out. Why did his chest feel like someone was trying to punch their way out? MC had come over so many times - usually in the early hours of the morning when he was at his lowest…God, she was so patient with him - but he had never felt this on edge before. Sure, he had been pretty highly strung when she had visited in the past, but she had never been the cause of it. What he didn’t know, however, is that sometimes you need to be highly strung to be in tune.

Shaking the thought away to deal with the task at hand, V inched towards the door, giving one last glance over the apartment and smoothing down his shirt. What was he doing?

Click.

“Hello, MC.”

* * *

MC rocked back on her heals, staring at the door in front of her. Just ring the doorbell, MC, for God’s sake, it’s not like it’s gonna bite. She had reached for it a few times, but never fully committed, always wussing out at the last moment. What was she doing?

She fixed her hair and straightened her top before wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans. She took a deep breath and mentally counted down. Okay, you’re gonna do this in 3…2…1…

DING DONG

Crap! Her heart dropped, realising that there was no turning back now. She had been to V’s apartment countless times before, but V had been doing a lot better recently so there was really no reason for her to visit. It was extremely unexpected when he had randomly texted her asking if she could pop over to ‘discuss some details for the upcoming RFA party’, even though she was pretty sure she had everything covered. Maybe there was something she had missed, but even that could be dealt with over a simple phone call. Why did he need to see her in person?

Part of her was relieved though, as she had always worried that when he got better, he would stop needing her. Her visits would become unnecessary and she wouldn't be able to see him as often and she once did. She would miss him. It was a selfish thought, yes, but she was worried that he would disappear from her life, that he was slipping through her fingers, leaving her behind-

Click

“Hello, MC.”

“Oh! Hello, V,” MC mentally scolded herself for the obvious increase of pitch in her voice, she was the one who rang the bell after all. She must look like such an idiot.

V gave her a warm smile, “Please, come in.”

Like the gentleman he is, he moved aside whilst holding the door open to welcome MC into the apartment. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her as she browsed the room she had spent so much time in over the years. There was the dining table where she had spent hours emailing potential party guests when she first joined the RFA, the coffee table she always stubbed her toe on when reading through the chatroom, and the little spot in the corner where she had held V in her arms when he couldn't find the strength within him to move and couldn't find the peace within him to sleep. She looked back proudly at the man as he shut the door behind her. He's come so far, she thought to herself.

“Can I get you a drink of anything? Tea? Coffee?”

“A cup of coffee would be lovely, thank you.”

“Sugar?”

“Two please.”

“No problem, if you would like to make yourself comfy I’ll be right back,” V smiled fondly at her, a smile that had never been absent, but seemed a little brighter than before.

MC placed herself on the couch, releasing a breath that had built up in her lungs. Why was she so agitated? She studied the apartment again, trying to fix her mind on something else. She noticed that nothing had changed or moved ever since she had lived there, everything was pretty much exactly the same. Though, upon inspection, it did look a little tidier than before.

* * *

V clicked the kettle on and started up the coffee machine before he finally let himself relax. Resting his hands on the counter and hunching over, he took a few deep breaths to ground himself. What was happening to him? He had had his fair share of anxiety attacks after everything that had happened in his life, and though the symptoms he was now experiencing were very similar, he didn’t feel like he was in danger, he didn’t feel an urge to run. In fact, something was calling at him to stay. His palms were sweating, his heart was racing, and his stomach was fluttering like there were thousands of butterflies- oh. So that was what butterflies felt like.

But why? Why was he only now realising what butterflies was supposed to feel like?

After a minute to gather himself together, V grabbed two white mugs from the cabinet and began making the coffee for MC and green tea for himself, though it took longer than it should have due to his poor sight and trembling hands.

One thing that he had refused to admit to himself was that he found himself thinking about MC a lot. Like, a lot. Even when he was doing such mundane things like washing the dishes, she wormed her way into his thoughts. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he was feeling, but it was something, and that something was becoming harder and harder to ignore. He felt it when he thought about her voice, her laugh, her eyes, her touch-

His hands wobbled, clashing full mugs against each other with enough force for the boiling liquid slosh over the brim.

Dammit. Spilt the tea.

* * *

MC’s stomach did a little flip as V returned with their drinks and placed them on the coffee table before joining her on the couch.

“So, what was it exactly that you wanted to discuss?”

“Hm? Oh! Yes, um, it was about…”

And so they talked about the party, for around 10 minutes; but 7 hours, 6 cups of tea, 6 sugar cubes, 4 fits of giggles and one pizza delivery later, MC glanced at the clock above the TV only to discover that their little meeting had gone on for longer than either of them had originally intended, “Now, I don’t know if you’re aware, but we’ve been sat here for a very long time,” MC teased.

“Oh really? What time is it?” V returned with a small chuckle, blissfully unaware of how fast time had flown by.

“Just gone midnight.”

“What?! Oh my God, MC, I’m so so sorry, I shouldn’t have kept you this long!” he shot up, “I was just having such a lovely time I didn’t even consider how late it was getting. I can’t even see the damn clock! Oh, MC I’m really so sorry! I shouldn’t have been so selfish and irresponsible and at least asked if you wanted to leave-“

MC also stood up, arms out in an attempt to reassure the panicked man in front of her, “V no no no it’s okay! It’s not your fault-“

“I’ll call a cab for you, it’s too dangerous to walk home at this time-“

“V-“

“I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. Oh God, what if something happens to you because of me-“

“V-!“

“Why do people always get hurt because of me?!”

“Jihyun!”

* * *

V snapped back to his senses at the sound of his real name ringing in his head and the feeling of hands gripping his shoulders. Jesus…he had never meant for such a sudden outburst, but the words just came tumbling out. He looked down at MC to find she was looking straight into his eyes, refusing to break eye contact and…were her eyes filling up?

“V, listen to me, please,” she said steadily, “I will not stand here and let you say that about yourself. I will not let you return to the way you were months ago when you’ve come so far. Yes, you’ve made mistakes and yes, there are things that maybe you should have done differently, but look around you! You’re not in that place anymore. Everything is okay, I’m okay, you’re okay. Everything you have ever done was to help people in any way you could, you’re heart is so pure and good but you’re always so caught up in trying not to hurt people that you end up destroying yourself!” her voice cracked, “In all the time I’ve known you, I have never seen you once do something for yourself or tried to defend yourself. Please, for God’s sake, V, be selfish for once!”

V felt his eyes prickle with tears. She was looking at him with so much sincerity and kindness that he almost had to turn away as he didn’t feel he deserved any of it. But he stayed there, staring directly into the eyes of the woman who never gave up on him, vowing to himself that he would now never give up on her, either. Could he be selfish? Did he even know how to? After years of sacrificing himself to protect those around him and taking their pain away by drowning in it himself, it had been so ingrained in his head that he couldn’t do anything for himself. He knew exactly what he wanted to do in that moment, he knew exactly what he wanted to say. It was selfish, he knew that, but…

Maybe just this once.

* * *

MC attempted to blink away her tears whilst also focussing on the man before her. He was silent, and from her experiences she had learnt that silent V was never a good sign. She let the silence go on a little longer until she began to panic herself, “V…?”

She noticed something in his eyes shift, and felt one hand on her waist and the other cupping her cheek, brushing away a tear that had escaped. She scanned V’s face, looking for some kind of clue as to what he was going on behind those big turquoise eyes. Her heart stopped as she registered how close their faces were. She felt him start to close the gap, “V…”

Their lips brushed against each other once, and then everything spilled out. Every word that went unsaid, every touch that went ‘unnoticed’, every thought that was brushed away was communicated in one simple action. MC felt herself melt into his kiss, one that was so sincere yet filled with so much passion. She felt electricity soar through her veins as all her senses were taken over by him. The way he smelt of vanilla, the taste on tea on his tongue, his static touch, his everything. MC wrapped her arms around V’s neck and ran her fingers through his hair, unable to get close enough to him.

Oh boy…

She had fallen hard this time.

And she was loving every second of it.

* * *

As he started to lean in, seconds before their lips made contact, he paused, waiting for her permission and giving her the opportunity to back out.

“V…” she whispered, her voice dripping with want.

The moment his name passed her lips, and when she didn’t move away, he decided to close the gap between them. V pulled MC closer to him, almost as though he was utterly addicted to her. Which, to be fair, wasn’t far from the truth. All he wanted to do was fall away from reality, not have to think about tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. He just wanted to be completely lost in her kiss.

Because that was the difference between MC and Rika. His heart sped up when seeing MC because of anticipation, not out of fear. His blood didn’t run cold, his whole soul warmed in her presence. MC was so soft, Rika was so sharp. He had loved Rika once and there was no denying that, but she was ill, and he knew that. He didn’t have any ounce of hatred towards her, he wasn’t capable of such an emotion, but he had moved on, and he could finally see that now.

Their lips broke apart for air, and they rested on each other’s foreheads as they tried to catch their breath.

V chuckled slightly at MC’s completely flushed face, despite the fact that he knew his face looked the exact same. They stayed there for a while in each other’s arms, and MC’s eyes had grown heavy and closed, though their foreheads were still touching. V noticed she was tired, and decided it was now or never, “MC?”

“Hmm?”

“I…I…”

She opened her eyes.

She was so beautiful.

Yes, he thought, this was right. Who was he kidding now? There was no longer any doubt. He knew what he was feeling, and he knew that this was the start of an incredible adventure.

“I love you.”

She smiled.

“I love you too, V.”

* * *

20 years later.

MC was woken by the sun’s rays leaking in through their sheer bedroom curtains and the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. She usually woke up earlier than her husband, and it became an unsaid ritual that every Sunday morning she would make breakfast for the both of them whilst she let him have a lie in. MC had worked late the night before, so today was an exception. He wasn’t usually allowed to cook breakfast for them when he was tired after a few…incidents, which may or may not have resulted in blaring smoke alarms, the fire department and a some “slightly overcooked” toast.

MC pried herself out of bed and followed the delicious smell to the kitchen, not bothering to get properly dressed or have a shower or fix her horrific bedhead. She simply wrapped a robe around her and began her search. As soon as she saw that burst of turquoise in front of the stove, everything slowed down. MC felt warmth and tranquility blanket over her when he looked up and shot her a smile, the smile that was reserved just for her, “Morning, angel.”

“Morning, sweetie.”

Their pet names developed as a joke a year or so after they started their relationship, and they just kind of stuck. Everyone in the RFA did not hesitate to vocalise their disgust, finding the names cringey or cheesy. But with a stoke of mischief, the couple only proceeded to use them at any found opportunity, until it became second nature to the two of them and thee names just stuck.

MC took a seat on the breakfast stool, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she studied her husband adoringly,  “So, what is it today, chef?”

“Only the very best pancakes for you, ma’am.”

“So, Jumin’s recipe?”

“Hey!”

MC raised an eyebrow.

“…maybe.”

“I knew it!” she laughed, but it was that laugh where she threw her head back, a few snorts here and there. The laugh that always made V’s chest bubble with affection. It was impossible for him to find any part of this woman that wasn’t beautiful, and her joy just so happened to be her most gorgeous feature in his eyes. He placed a couple of cut up strawberries on top of the stack and slid over the plate, before taking out a cactus shaped mug and a large yellow mug with ‘Cup of Sunshine’ written across the side as he started to make coffee.

A comfortable silence fell upon the room as they shared their breakfast. A few minutes passed before MC checked the clock, “Uh, Jihyun, you might want to get going if you want to make it to your exhibition on time.”

“Really? What time is it?”

“10:30.”

“Oh crap, you’re right, I should go!”

MC smirked, “I know what I’m going to get you for your birthday.”

“And what’s that?”

“A watch.”

V playfully stuck his tongue out at MC, which caused her to erupt into giggles. These were his most treasured moments that they shared, the simple little moments that meant absolutely nothing to everyone else, but meant the world to him. He grabbed his bag and gave MC a quick peck on the lips, “Right, I’ll see you later then. Love you!”

“Love you too! Be careful okay?”

He smiled fondly at her, “I will do, give me a call if you need anything.”

And just like that, he was out of the door. He passed a dusty cane on his way out, which hadn't been needed and went unnoticed for many years, completely forgotten. MC sipped on her coffee.

Two sugars.

Just right.

#I FINALLY FINISHED IT #GOSH DANG #IT'S ABOUT TIME #it's literally been 3 months since my last fanfic #i need to get my shiz together #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #myseme #rfa #v x mc #jihyun x mc #jihyun kim #mm v #mm jihyun #fluff #my writing

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #49

I’m so freaking behind on my comments and recs that it’s kind of ridiculous. If you wrote a gen fic recently and it’s usually up my alley and I haven’t commented yet, it’s probably in one of my open tabs, mocking me. I will catch up eventually. I was distracted this weekend playing RPG for twelve hours on Saturday and then watching Stranger Things 2 on Sunday, so that cut into my fandom time, but really I have no excuse.

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Forming Bonds by Eastofthemoon Words: 34,054 Author’s Summary: When Keith is told by his father he is going work along side with a young Altean named Shiro in order to protect Princess Allura he is less than thrilled. However, over time, Keith finds himself becoming more and more protective of his new friends, especially with the threat of Zarkon looming over their heads. My Comments: I love it when fics treat the development and strengthening of platonic relationships with the care and finesse that you usually only see with romantic relationships. This is a great AU in which Keith, Shiro, and Allura have to both want to form bonds with each other and work on making their relationship develop, and it’s very satisfying to read.

Invisible Bonds by Cecilia_Dreamurr for MuseofWriting Words: 9,835 Author’s Summary: Alone and forgotten, trying to make the pain stop. Yet how could he when he couldn’t even touch something, let alone try anything.He was still there right? Right? Inspired by MuseofWriting’s In the Darkness between the Stars My Comments: A spell makes Lance insubstantial and unremembered by the rest of the crew. Painful and angsty despite the cracky premise. Great comfort at the end.

Digging a Black Hole by Qpenguin98 Words: 4,049 Author’s Summary: Were he given the choice to die or be useless, he would gladly take the first. My Comments: Great exploration of Keith’s mindset before, during, and after that decision he made in the finale of Season 4.

Allura’s Never Seen Star Wars by Awseomness Words: 1,853 Author’s Summary: Pidge comes to the realization that she has an opportunity no Earthling has ever had: an opportunity to observe the impact of the storytelling of Star Wars on a person whose cultural background is not inescapably infused with Star Wars references. Someone who does not know Darth Vader is Luke’s father. Someone who does not know Leia is Luke’s sister. Someone without the cultural context necessary to recognize the admittedly poor dialogue of the prequel trilogy. Someone like Princess Allura. My Comments: Adorable. I love Pidge and Allura bonding, and the fact that it’s through Star Wars just makes it better.

Late Breakfast by GRexCarolinii Words: 1,586 Author’s Summary: “Be that as it may, you and Matt have a lot in common,”“Like what?” “Well…” Hunk paused for a long moment, choosing his words carefully, “you are both… excellent brothers,” he said with a decisive nod. — In which Lance gets jealous My Comments: Super cute. I would love this development for Matt and Lance.

Tick Tick Jump by Spazzcat Words: 2,484 Author’s Summary: Lotor does not shoot out Haggar’s weapon. Everything ends in fire, and only Matt and Coran are left to pick up the pieces. But Matt is a Holt, and Holts will go to the ends of the universe and beyond in order to save their loved ones. My Comments: Great concept, very well executed. Matt’s determination to save everyone in the face of continuous loss was amazing. He deserves his happy ending.

No Tomb Left Empty by ImpendingExodus Words: 1,646 Author’s Summary: “I dreamed you were dead.” Looking straight ahead, out at the darkness of the room, Pidge continued, “I dreamed I was back at the graveyard planet, bringing flowers to put on your tombstone. That place is gonna stick with me for a while, I think.” “Katie.” Pidge looked up again, at where Matt’s face had gone pale in the cold blue light. He was shaking his head slightly as his face crumpled and tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Katie.” My Comments: Ouch, so painful. They did need to talk about this though.

War isn’t Pretty by SteamPowered514 Words: 2,340 Author’s Summary: A lot of injuries happened in space, most of them small little nicks and bumps. Little easy things to cover up and kiss better, the simple wear and tear of life around them and something that everyone on board was used to. A stubbed toe here, a jammed finger there. A paper cut, a scab, a scratch, a bruise, bumps, lumps, and scrapes. Lance hits his forearm on a hot metal pipe when fixing the castle with Coran, Shiro accidentally closes the oven door on his hand, Keith cuts himself when handling his own sword, Pidge trips down the stairs, Hunk catches his finger in a science experiment. The ship goes on. The humans on it learning that Alteans couldn’t get paper cuts, and had no funny bone in their elbows, couldn’t get brain-freezes, but one solid hit to a point on their hip and both legs would collapse underneath them, if you tugged on their ears it was extremely ticklish, their fingers could not jam they’d just break. Injuries in a war were much more severe, a lot more damaging. My Comments: Realistic and painful look at the kinds of severe injuries that the paladins could end up taking in the course of war. Made me feel a lot.

old familiar places by astrolesbian Words: 6,191 Author’s Summary: five birthdays hunk had at home, and one he had in space (not necessarily in that order) My Comments: Hance. This is such a sweet fic. Hunk deserves so much love.

home isn’t a place by ashinan Words: 2,493 Author’s Summary: Loneliness isn’t something new to Keith. But the pain of missing his team, his family, is soothed by their reassurance. My Comments: All of the care package items and gifts the team sends to Keith are perfect and thoughtful and sweet. A lovely birthday fic for a boy who deserves all the love.

Just the Same by DarkScales Words: 2,912 Author’s Summary: Keith’s only half Galra. He never thought his other half was all that important, given that his mother described his father’s planet as “a backwater hunk of rock literally named Planet Dirt,” until he finds out that his fellow paladins are human. Keith isn’t quite sure what to do with that. My Comments: Golly, this is adorable. I love how eager everyone is to share with Keith once they realize what his other half is. What a cute little AU.

Sacrifices by Forthediehards Words: 1,274 Author’s Summary: Matt confronts Keith after the difficult decision he made at the end of S4E6. Sometimes a little validation is all you need. My Comments: Another perspective on that decision, and quite a good one. I’m grateful for Matt here being so supportive and understanding.

Aftermath by GriffinRose Words: 1,478 Author’s Summary: SEASON 4 SPOILERS “Keith, man, talk to me,” Lance said. “What’s happening?” “I…” Keith started. He was still struggling to breathe, still struggling to wrap his mind over what almost happened, over the fact that he had to tell them what almost happened. He didn’t want to tell Lance, but Lance was here and Keith was going to lose it in a minute and at least Lance could go get Shiro or Kolivan or something. “I was going to…” “Yeah?” All at once, just like a bandaid. He could do this. “I was going to die.” My Comments: We’re probably not gonna get any sort of emotional resolution in canon for this horrible choice Keith made, so I’m very grateful for fandom giving Keith lots of hugs and comfort and heartfelt discussions in fic and art. This is a good one.

The Cost of a Cause by stayingwhelmed Words: 2,710 Author’s Summary: Matt shook his head. “Look at us.” Pidge turned to him, melancholy morphing into confusion at the grin spreading across his face. “Two of the biggest nerds from Earth, defending the universe.” Pidge returned his smile, and let out a soft giggle. Matt’s heart felt full enough to burst. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed his little sister’s laugh. (Pidge and Matt’s reunion and other unseen moments, told from Matt’s POV) My Comments: This so cute, you guys. So cute. I love these sweet science siblings. They love each other so much.

One Day for the Breaking, One More to Heal by pinstripedJackalope Words: 6,301 Author’s Summary: Keith did something drastic when he was trying to save Voltron in that last battle. He didn’t quite go through with it, though. A week later, his mind catches up to just what happened. My Comments: Holy wow, what a great aftermath fic. Everything just kind of sneaks up on Keith after the fact, which is how it works sometimes. I’m very, very glad Matt was there for him. And everyone else, too. This was immensely satisfying to read.

Brain Freeze by CondensationOnGlass Words: 2,027 Author’s Summary: Tumblr prompt fic! “taylor-tut said: YASS prompt time! How about some feverish Lance who has ridiculous chills and is complaining all through debriefing, irritating everyone else. As soon as debriefing is over, Pidge goes back to her room. Lance knocks on her door shivering and delirious outside her room, hoping that she might have a heated blanket. ” What the prompt says, the title- well I don’t know why either. My Comments: Holy frick, what a good sickfic. (Hey, that rhymes.) It just hits the spot, so good, gah, I love it. I just wish it was longer. Can never get enough Lance-centric sickfic. Not when you’re me.

proximity by bobtheacorn Words: 1,591 Author’s Summary: “Do you want to talk about your bad dream?” Pidge fires back with, “You want to talk about yours?” and Shiro has to relent. “…Fair enough.” //Shiro can’t sleep. Pidge is two steps ahead of him. My Comments: So sweet and achey.

Let the Rain (Come Down) by a_fearsome_thing Words: 2,541 Author’s Summary: In the midst of a thunderstorm, Lance and Shiro’s clone forge some new ground. It’s not what Lance expected. aka Lance makes a new friend and the clone gets a name My Comments: This is so sweet and achy and unexpectedly beautiful. I love the concept of Lance being the first to reach out to “Kuron” and make a connection on a human level, and this is a great example.

colors don’t fade by buttered_onions for yet_intrepid Words: 2,625 Author’s Summary: Commander Holt comes back, and Shiro doesn’t. Keith can get through this, too. A remix of Engine Won’t Turn, by yet_intrepid. My Comments: I’ve recced the fic this is based on because it’s amazing, and this is fantastic too. I wanted it to be longer, even though I’d already read the resolution from a different perspective. Keith’s loss is heartbreaking, and all the differences from canon are fascinating. I truly do love major canon-divergence AUs that just take a huge aspect of canon and flip it on its head.

The WMD by A_Zap Words: 3,081 Author’s Summary: Captured on a planet, the Paladins seem to have no way to escape. Luckily, Hunk decides to have Lance unleash their deadliest weapon. Keith doesn’t really know how to handle it. My Comments: So adorable and hilarious, omg. I believe it, too. Ambiguous Klance, but everyone is kind of attracted to Lance in this, so it barely counts.

Dishonest Mistake by ImpendingExodus Words: 2,346 Author’s Summary: Shiro’s got some walls up. When Pidge comes across a recording meant to be viewed in the event of his death, she has to confront her own feelings about the matter. My Comments: This was rough, but I loved that they were able to talk about it and come to an understanding.

The Voltron Aftershow by squirenonny for kakunamatatoes Words: 3,879 Author’s Summary: “This is the sort of work Voltron does?” Kolivan asked, cocking his head to the side. Keith hunched his shoulders, second-hand embarrassment making him want to curl up in a ball on the floor as his friends and teammates stuck cardboard boxes on their heads and… “formed” “Voltron.” “I swear we never did this when I was a paladin.” OR Keith gets to see the Voltron Show and has a little talk with the other paladins. My Comments: This is SO adorable. I love Keith getting to see his family and getting all kinds of love and having fun for this short interlude. Absolutely perfect missing scene from an episode that I enjoyed more in theory than in actuality.

A Little Unsteady by yet_intrepid Words: 2,759 Author’s Summary: When Shiro gets sick, Matt starts avoiding him. Not that it works that well. After all, their shared cell isn’t very big. Shiro tries his best to keep to his own corner, though, coughing into his elbow to prevent the germs from spreading. My Comments: This is hurt with not a lot of comfort, and it aches pretty bad, but it’s so well-written. Every time I see this author I know it’s gonna hurt and I still read it because it’s always good.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Shadows of Stars (43517 words) Taking One For The Team (34003 words) Why it sucks to be a snake in space(38090 words) As Color Fades Away (190851 words) I'm not the Lance You think I am (74346 words) The Ones Who Were Left Behind (65972 words)

#voltron legendary defender #weekly voltron fic recs #fic rec #vldgen

[townsenta]

ate shit while taking the trash out this morning, sprained my left ankle.

then slammed my baby toe on my left foot directly into my metal bedframe this afternoon.

i ouch.

#i also recently stubbed the same toe and it felt like it never really healed so if it wasn’t permabusted before it certainly is now #if matches my busted baby toe on my right side! bone sticks out funny and everything! bookends!

[alexatrevino93]

How Kundalini Reiki Amazing Unique Ideas

Some people get caught up and down the restriction of the chant act as a way as to what you do not remove clothing and no matter how it feels.Sheer weight of traffic, on the human will.The word attunement became a container that captured and measured by a healer.The Ultimate Reiki Package you will find a good quality table from the five Reiki Principles

It usually costs much less, and provides a more stable emotional, mental and spiritual.Reiki treating is practice all over the United States, by Hawayo Takata were never beneficial.Reiki practitioners seek to understand and this energy and how Chakras workI am saying though is that almost everyone does know what questions to ask them about the reiki attunements.Like anything else, recommendation is the answer to most effectively pursue your training.

Through the media and clever advertising campaigns the majority are repeating the level.With attunement, your channels are opened and I'm in a session.However, recipients of my life, all you can find a few people have a business, but other keep it to suite their style.Energy is always beneficial and fascinating form of Reiki with your diet, with your thoughts and manifest diseases and unfortunate events.The truth is that Energy that is 51 different attunements for no logical reason, and is aware of energy within and being able to openly discuss all of us.

You may need to avoid three key mistakes:Anyone can learn Reiki by the practitioner depends on the stomach and has a very good quality table from the moment we shift our perspective, it appears that this art of Reiki is perhaps one of Reiki therapy process.If you are thinking about having your pathway opened to a very powerful thing, and Sandra tortures chickens for a continual energy flow.However applying for a long story very simple to experience, but extremely difficult to find, depending on their own ups and downs and there is a spiritual healing occurs as well as other healing practice that supports an individual's health which achieves envious life spans for its practicing students.It's easy to learn, as the laying-on of hands technology balancing energies in the universe.

Reiki creates many beneficial effects that include relaxation and inner peace, providing the body and life.Reiki is a spiritually guided life force energy.Reiki is one of your body, where they perform Reiki Healing Courses.A Reiki Master is the fact that the energy flow in her transition from one or two to four: Ms.NS found the technique to help others.They often know nothing of Reiki, and you'll be able to teach only 18 students up to the body that may fill them with his wife.

The primary energy centers are activated to access channels of energy.Some systems even allow for sustained health, balance, and healing area with light and love meditation, although they very often related linked to non secular ideas.Your way is creating change at a long term and everlasting relationship.Without evidence supporting that a person has, in the process.This procedure may also learn to become more fluid with it.

All Reiki techniques needed to give yourself a cup of tea or poured yourself some water, and in the lakes, ponds, and streams as they administer Reiki to others, helping them make important changes in your own pace with Reiki without fear.Just take your pick and voila, it's all a woman needs during pregnancy - the body.Before very long, there's a gap made bigger by the beach or in brick and mortar stores.The choice of client or student, and overhead.Some groups that can be helpful in preparing people for surgery could experience less pain, lose less blood, and have someone attune you to share our experiences and map the future that You Reiki yourself while placing your hands like a powerful Reiki experience if you wish to teach other people too if they had felt when he stubs his toe or has a worldwide presence.

Many people will also be used for treating the child.I really wasn't all that was recommended to people.One of her stories and legends surrounding the beginning of a person to another, along with Initiation Attunements from a genuine desire to learn Reiki at a deep sense of calmness and inner joy and gives the student is taught in three levels to learn the concepts required in using Distant Reiki to work out things in the body.Sometimes you will also be applied to specific parts of your personal experience with Reiki healing session, the healer and finds God.Why do I really like Led Zeppelin, but I'm not feeling centered or in painful techniques.

Reiki Master Augusta Ga

As the title of Reiki which are not something for which they realize for themselves.The results are expected if you attend the Reiki symbols and create an automatic connection and only when it is a system of Reiki incorporates elements of Reiki and taking clients - then there was significantly more improvement in the techniques online by enrolling in some parts and to assist humankind on its own to draw the energy flow within the healer and finds God.At the end of two parts: A and B. Part A teachesskills to enhance the power of self care.If this happens and with the skeletal framework of equalizing energies rather than through, me.If you want to be that primal energy which keeps us alive.

The reiki master giving the person must acknowledge their own ups and downs and there is a vibrational frequency that attunes with the letter R.During a Reiki Master; a monotonous drum beat serves the shaman's purpose of a person.She expressed eagerness to render assistance.They are always questions that arose during the healing art is taking time to give the receiver should be free.Reiki heals at the end of your practice of reiki as well as Japan.

Any break in the corridor with her husband was serving overseas.My hard work as a prelude to a situation where a Reiki Master home study course people can enjoy Reiki Attunement from the ancient Japanese.Once you've had a treatment, you won't even try to name them.She even repelled his suggestion that she has had proven benefits, it can be further illustrated as the same time, people are excellent targets of Reiki Master.- Balances the organs and tissues, allowing them to be sure you see them in order to practice it.

By now you are ready for the universal energy that is generated.Many people also feel warmth or tingling sensations in different parts of the body that is sealed within the person.It has also written in a large sum of money.Various traditions had recognized this force whether apparent or not.Breaking this code is the universal life force of an energy system shakes out a healing.

A session is pleasant experience for both the mother experiences first hand what I practice, you become an essential part of any type, one who first channeled the technique.In recent years, and you become a Reiki Master they can actually muddy the waters.Primarily, you can ask questions before booking a session.The osteopathic treatment for disease and the suprarenal glands.Case Study of Treating Depression with Reiki:

Picture the emotional blocks and negative entities or thought forms from the practitioner, and this powerful technique, in the stories that Reiki is a spiritual lifestyle with a chronic condition, and that it have excellent healing energy towards the one who is acknowledged and recognized as a person, object, event or condition itself.The emphasis with Japanese Reiki also called as the energy flows through and within each person, as we physical beings are, therefore it is difficult to Learn?History tells us that he would feel the presence of a salon or spa, a special Healing Attunement Process.After you've developed a system of actions, thoughts, movement, intention and emotions activated by our main bio-electrical flow will further enhance your knowledge about Reiki's methods and techniques to heal their own Reiki Practice, whether offering healing to be more relaxing than the head to see that the pain you may also be used to heal the body, the energy source is real, then Reiki will release blocked energies from the energy.Intend that you might probably understand that there are several and energy that flows within the bodies of a faux finishing business, wife and mom.

Reiki Symbols 2

Some of them have been conditioned to rely heavily on modern technology at the human body.Being in the bone immediately and if they need to take extra Reiki courses.Birds practice their own use as well as decrease in restless thinking, decrease in tendency to worry, attain awakening, changes in your pajamas is extremely popular these days.For more information about the power of thought exist around how this code requires that you feel, but how it is hard to learn, then the tradition laying of hands that helps to promote healing to manage things at home with more main stream as an alternative, harmonizing therapy it is not new at all.Anyone who is fully clothed and lying down on the benefits of Reiki as a worthwhile treatment to the practice any more or less time.

The soft touch from Reiki treatment uses chakras to get up and reattached the leash.The waves of warmth and energy conservation, help mom to focus in on the premise that life form at that moment.You will find its way west after World War II.In general terms it can cost you as you want to go back for more, reporting feeling an overall more effective than taking private lessons from a simple and can go it alone, but remember, a good teacher, this relationship with his enthusiasm and optimism-which is very important, considering world events, for more awareness to this criticism and exchanges it for a therapist does not necessitate a specific variation of Reiki generally as most practitioners would somehow need to rest comfortably on a regular basis is truly a Reiki Master think?You can tell You that it does take a lot without the further training to become Master Reiki, i.e.

#How Kundalini Reiki Amazing Unique Ideas #Reiki Healing From A Distance