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imdefyingmavity · 3 years

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Quick Hellstrop brotp mini-fic.

Fluff, hint of one-sided romantic feelings, emotional hurt/comfort.

It wasn’t until he saw the leather jacket on the desk that he began to worry. Before then, when he’d seen Eleanor make a rather impromptu exit out of Tahani’s party, he’d been a little confused. In what crazy dimension did Eleanor Shellstrop leave a party before all the shrimp had been devoured? The platters had barely been touched.

He’d waited a while, in case she came back, mingling among the fake residents, the real humans as well as the rest of the team, head constantly rotating back towards the door for a sign of her re-entry. Na-da.

After making his own excuses, he followed the scent of her perfume, which had also left a pink mist in her wake, visible only to his supernatural eyes. He regrets having told his friends about that aspect of his abilities a little, mainly after Jason compared him to the sniffer dog that slobbered over him once at a bus station.

The path lead him to their office, or the ‘Hot God’s Throne Room’ as she’d once named it. Hardly a false analogy, Michael had silently thought.

“Eleanor?” he’d asked, making his way in. All of his adversary-turned-friend-turned boss that awaited him was the jacket on the desk that she’d worn over her dress on the walk to the party.

That and two pairs of high-heels kicked unceremoniously to the side.

“Oh, Eleanor...” He whispered, grasping the jacket in his hand, instantly inhaling the odour of discomfort and anxiety.

The smell said half of it. The fact some of her clothes had been hastily abandoned here rather than at her clown house said the rest. Something was wrong.

Fortunately, a burned out Eleanor is easy to track.

It doesn’t take him less than fifteen minutes to follow the pink trail in the air, cutting through the deserted town, over the fields, out towards the lake. Ah, of course. As soon as he recognises the significance of her destination, he knows what prompted her to leave in such a rush. He doesn’t need to follow the trail, he knows exactly what wooden bench she’s going to be sitting on.

She doesn’t look up as he treads closer to her, head buried between her knees pulled up onto the seat, hugged to her chest. The little bumps on her exposed shoulders tremble while the rest of her stays rigid.

“Getting chilly?” he says, softly.

Eleanor lifts her head, the tiniest of gasps, her eyes sparkling with the briefest flash of excitement before they dim. Disappointed.

Were you expecting someone else? Of course.

Tears mark her blotchy cheeks that she rushes to dry with her fist; “No...Just way too hot at the party and I thought I could cool off back at the office but it was like a forking oven, so I came out here and....now I’m cold, yeah.”

He nods, understanding all too well how the world can turn into a furnace when everything feels as though it’s about to collapse in on you. And this is coming from a guy born and raised in magma.

Eleanor might not have had anxiety attacks the same as him. Her usual response to stressful situations was to lash out, toss over some cakes, kick some chairs, consuming a ton of alcohol on the way. Without any of those options being acceptable for an Immortal Heavenly Being; her only outlet was to do as she did as a frightened child; and hide away.

“Here,” he doesn’t wait for her to accept the offer as he removes his jacket and places it over her shoulders, just to cover the little bumps; “Wow, you’re small...It looks like you’re popping your head out of a molehill made from cloth.”

“Shut up, you flagpole” Eleanor manages a chuckle, sniffling after, tugging it around her shoulders, “...Thanks.” she remembers, with a mumble.

He lingers, this time waiting for her consent; “D’you want company?”

“No...” she responds, staring out at the vast body of water beneath the full moon; “I wanna be by myself.”

“Okay...”

He starts to step away, only for her to grab his hand.

“What the fork are you doing?”

Michael blinks; “You just said-”

“Yeah. By myself. And you’re like...ridiculously similar to me that we’re practically the same person, so you can stay.”

He blinks again.

“That’s...insanely confusing!”

“Just sit down, dummy.” She tugs him again. As she wishes, Michael places himself down beside her, taking note of how short of breath she still is from crying. As soon as he’d noticed the tears shining, he’d had to ground himself to avoid rushing forward to dry them.

Now he’s close enough, having been invited to share her space, he dares to reach out and rub her back.

“Just breathe. You’re okay.” he whispers, softly, “No one’s gonna be out here, you can cry if you want.” Fork the garbage Donna fed her about hiding her emotions.

She sniffs, gulping for air; “M’so sick of crying...And I thought I was over this, I mean...We’re so close to the end and I’m sure we’ve got this but...Fork.” Eleanor looks down; “Seeing them dance...Seeing him kiss her...They look so happy.”

“Not half as happy as when he danced with you.” He’s tempted to give her the memory of their little dance in the rain in #119, in case it stopped being fresh for her. He’d been so pissed off about that not being enough to spoil their date at the time.

“What does it matter if he doesn’t remember that?” She scoffs, untucking her knees and looking back at the lake; “What does the first kiss we have here mean anything if he comes here with Simone, all the time, and they have dozens of their own kisses!?”

“He will remember. I promised, I’d give him all his memories back when this is over.” It can’t come soon enough. Saving humanity was beginning to come second to just seeing her be happy again.

Eleanor’s shoulders slump; “...And if he still chooses her? What then? We could win this whole thing and he could come back and I’m just...back to being alone!”

“Okay, now you’re being an idiot.”

“Thanks, pal! And you wonder why I refuse to call you Hottest Savior?!”

“I mean it!” He almost growls, putting his hand on her shoulder; “Do you really think you’re gonna have none of us around you, on the one in a billion chance that Chidi doesn’t wanna get back with you? You don’t think what you’ve got to look forward to in the Good Place extends beyond being with him? C’mon. Chidi would the last person to want you to be thinking like that.”

Eleanor rolls her eyes; “Yeah well...Sometimes I wanna say ‘fork Chidi’. I mean...obviously I wanna fork Chidi but I mean-.”

“I get it.” Damn horny bipeds.

He reaches out to take her hand, linking his fingers between hers, caressing the joint of her thumb with his own.

“Listen. If you were ever alone without him, do you think I’d have followed you out here? Do you think Tahani or Jason or Janet wouldn’t have noticed, if not me, and done the same?” He lowers his voice, inching closer.

Eleanor pauses.

Her other hand moves up to touch with the hem of his jacket covering her.

“It’s always you.” she mumbles, eyes casting over his chest. I’m up here, he wants to say, or would that crane her neck?

“Yeah, well...I could say the same about you.” The first one to ever pick him up after an existential breakdown. The last one who held him during a crisis, paralysed at the thought of losing his friends in the worst possible way. “Who else knows rock bottom better than us, hmm?”

Finally, she smiles; “We pretty much founded the place. It’s like our own little kingdom at this point.”

Michael shyly smiles. Hades and Persephone. All those times, in his past, when he pictured Eleanor at his side, not as an oblivious victim but his partner. His one worthy equal. Then he found himself constantly bested by her, beaten, to the point he was at her heels, following her lead, waiting for her to say jump so he could ask how high? Willing to cast himself into the fire if she deemed him unworthy, or she needed him gone.

He will never understand how Chidi could resist her pleas to stay. If she asked for Chidi’s memory back tonight, even at the risk of dooming humanity, he would obey.

Perhaps the knowledge that he shouldn’t is all that stops him from making the offer in the first place.

Fork, when did his arm find its way around her shoulders? When did she start leaning in so close? She’s practically snuggling against him now. She must be getting cold.

He waves his hand, warming up the night breeze that passes over the lake. She still doesn’t move away. He doesn’t exactly push her either.

“Y’know...The reason I was looking to find you at the party when I saw you leave was I was gonna ask you for a dance.” he confesses, needing to break the tense silence.

“Oh, really?” She glances up, raising an eyebrow; “Well...I’m not walking all the way back.”

Michael nods; “It’s okay...I was expecting a ‘no’.”

“Did I say ‘no’?”

He looks to see her giving that cheeky smile. Shirt, he must be blushing. She always looks at him with that smug, endearing gaze when she knows she’s succeeded in teasing him.

It feels a shame to pull away from the cuddle she was beginning to relax into as he gets to his feet. Probably for the best none of the humans come across their Goddess sleeping in the arms of her Architect out in the open...especially Chidi, no matter how chaste it may be.

“No trying to trip each other to fall in the lake, deal?”

Eleanor groans, leaving Michael’s jacket on the seat; “I guess...Spoilsport.”

Neither are going to make that promise. What would be the fun in that?

He gives her his best ‘devilish’ grin and holds out his hand.

“May I have this dance, Boss?”

Eleanor’s eyes flutter up and down his front before locking his gaze again, her tears all but dried. “Only because you’re rockin’ that tux,” She gives him her hand; “You may, buddy.”

He gently tugs her up onto her bare feet. Without her heels, she barely meets his neck. She doesn’t seem to mind, smiling as he moves her onto the pier, beneath the strung up lights along the boardwalk.

A snap of his fingers and a song begins to play on the invisible surround sound system.

If I see you next to never, How can we say forever?

Fingers smooth gently up her back as he holds her close. Her head rests into his chest as they sway to the 80′s ballad. Stroking her shoulders, he finds the same little bumps are still there, but no longer trembling. He wishes he knew enough about being human to understand what that meant. So long as she no longer feels alone, that’s all he wants.

“Michael...” she murmurs, sliding her other arm around his side.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being here.”

He resists the old urge to make a nonchalant quip for humor sake and gives into the sentiment swelling beneath this suit. He kisses the top of her head, whispering adoringly;

“Always.”

Wherever you go, Whatever you do...

It feels a little wrong to be dancing with Eleanor Shellstrop in the spot where she had her first kiss with the love of her life, but as she pointed out, he’s had just as many dates here with Simone. Michael allows the remnants of his demon past to find a weird taste of satisfaction, for Eleanor’s sake anyway. It’s hardly as if the nerd was here to see it, or even care in his current state. Maybe one day, in the future, if he’s feeling particularly petty and satantic, he’ll brag to Chidi’s face about how he had one of most romantic, moonlit dances with his girlfriend. Because only a fool would give up that chance, even if to save the Universe.

All for no other reason than to make sure his friend is always grateful for being the one Eleanor Shellstrop loves with all her heart, and wanting to make up for every moment he missed with her this year. Just as Michael thanks Upper Management every day that he has the honor of dwelling in a fraction of it.

Whatever it takes, Or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you.

#hellstrop fic #pininggg #idk if i like how this turned out #i just really wanted to write something like this #and i always do sad michael in s4 #i rarely do sad eleanor but she's going through so much #and i like doing caretaker michael outside of npl sometimes

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sweetwritertanya · 4 years

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Favorite Dessert

Summary: Jin becomes aware of a particular fetish he seems to have that involves you and food, namely whipped cream that you just happen to be making when he comes home…

Warnings: SMUT! This was basically written for my followers who are craving some BTS smut as I write my original series. Keeping all my people well fed, the best I can. Also, Jin needs more love in the fandom. So… This fic will include: swearing, erotic body touching, food play/fetish, oral (female receiving), overstimulation (just a bit, female receiving), hand-jobs (if you squint), multiple orgasms (female receiving), doggy style position, missionary position, unprotected sex (God, I need to write about protection more often, don’t I?).

BIG WARNING!!! Putting sugary goods in your own goods (pun intended) is not good! It can lead to yeast infections. Don’t try at home or do it at your own risk! This is referenced in the fic, but I must stress that the best way to prevent infection is to simply not use sugar in or around your vagina.

Word Count: 4243

It started out simply, accidentally, when you two are sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in your lap as your eyes never leave the screen and you let a few popcorns fall form your fingers and land on the deep cleavage the tank top you were wearing did nothing to hide. Not even thinking about it, you just pick them back up and eat them.

But it stirred something deep inside your lover, Jin. At the first sight of the small pieces of food landing on your skin, his hands twitched and throat dried out. He couldn’t keep his eyes off your cleavage, itching to reach out with his mouth and eat them right off your supple flesh. As you picked the popcorn and placed it in between your lips, he was licking his, with electric sparks running down his spine towards his groin.

To say the unexpected interest that such an act bubbled up in him was bothersome would be putting it lightly. The fact was Jin ended up thinking about it for the whole course of a week, being in an almost constant state of semi-arousal whenever such thoughts came to his mind uninvited. Your lush body sprayed out in his queen size bed, whipped cream covering your delicious goods, cherries where your nipples would be. Or a bottle of liquid chocolate on his hand as he poured the brown syrupy fluid all over your body, how it would fall in to the crevices between your lumps or pool at the top of your fluffy stomach for him to slurp.

Jin’s cheeks would flame red more than half of the day, whenever he found himself thinking about it at the most inopportune times or when he would actually indulge on such fantasies at the privacy of his own room.

It was becoming so all-consuming that he was deciding about how to best bring it up. There has never been any talk about preferences or fetishes between the two of you yet, both very pleased with how things were and still enthralled by the novelty of it all. Jin never really realized he had such a… fascination with food play until now, never really having to talk about such things with his partner before. Therefore, he was incredibly unsure of how to even start to approach such a topic without embarrassing himself or making you feel he was not happy with how things currently were.

Turns out, he really didn’t have to say much at all.

One day, coming home late after long interviews with the rest of the boys, he could smell the bakery goods in the air before even taking a second step into the entry hall. You slept over at his house more nights than not and usually entertained yourself in the kitchen whenever you were craving something to eat.

With a sweet smile on his puffy lips, he got rid of his jacket and shoes before coming down the hallway and entering the kitchen. Your plump frame had your back to him, squatting down as you studied something in the oven before straightening back up. Your juicy ass was almost on display for him on your short shorts, being currently warm enough even during late evening and early nighttime for you to go to sleep in them and an oversized t-shirt. One of his larger ones, he noted.

Catching your eyes, he finally came into the room, crossing the kitchen smoothly as if he hadn’t been appreciating your figure for a few moments before coming in.

“What’s my pumpkin doing in the kitchen at this hour, hum?” his voice questions almost in a sing-songy tune.

Your eyes light up at the sight of him and a large smile takes over your features, making his heart swell inside his chest. He loved seeing you smile whenever he came home.

“Jin! Oh, I saw this recipe on insta for a cake and I couldn’t control myself, I finished baking it right now!” You get on your tippy-toes and lean in for a peck at his lips when he moves close enough. “How was your day?”

He smiles and leans against the counter next to you, observing as you gather whatever you need for what you are making, falling in an easy conversation with you about his day. He was about to ask about you, when you interrupt him with a hand on his forearm.

“Sorry, Jinnie, give me like two minutes! This is going to be too loud for us to talk for a bit” you explain, leaning down the cabinet under the counter and taking an electric mixer and plugging it in, the wire whips already inside the bowl.

Only then does he realize what you are making: whipped cream. He truly can’t help it, the images come to him stronger than before as the machine turns on and he watched the liquid slowly turn more solid in the container, the design on the cream exactly as he envisioned it being on top of your tits, ready for him to lick it off.

“Okay, I think I’m don- Oh, crap!” you start saying before turning the machine off. But as soon as you bring the whips up from the cream, failing to turn off the mixer beforehand, they end up spraying all over.

You turn the mixer off and put it on the counter as you look down at yourself, seeing drops of cream on your t-shirt and on the exposed skin above your chest that the large open neck of the t-shirt didn’t cover. Sensing some also got on your face, you raise your hand to clean it out when a big warm hand catches your wrist before you could.

His eyes betray him immediately. If he had any intention of hiding it by now, the way his pupils grew to almost eat away at any hint of brown made you perfectly aware of his condition. Then he licks his lips and the prominent Adam’s apple on his neck moves up and down as he swallows hard. The shift in the air gets to you and you find yourself mimicking him, swallowing with a shallow breath, eyes focusing on his lips and the tip of your tongue moves across your bottom lip.

Bending down, you feel his lips cleaning your cheek, the smallest brush of his warm tongue removing the drops of whipped cream from your skin. You close your eyes when he moves to your soft jaw line, and then almost by the corner of your mouth. Your heart is skittering inside your chest, blood flushing your cheeks and ears, and you find it amusing amidst your waves of arousal that Jin enjoyed this.

Then he moves to clean your neck and upper chest, finally removing his hand from your wrist in favor of placing both on your wide hips, pulling you in. The wet muscle is now more meticulous and demanding as he laps at your sweetened skin, lips moving further apart to give better access to his tongue. It makes you grasp at his strong arms, leaning your head to the side to give him better access as sighs and shy moans of pleasure escape you.

“Should… Should we take this to the bedroom?” you struggle to say as he licks your pulsing point on your neck.

Jin raises his head then, his plump lips even more swollen from the kisses, blushed cheeks and hooded eyes glassed over from lust. Your lower stomach turned at the knowledge of what so little had him already like this.

“Please” his mellow voice all but begs, one of his hands moving to your lower back and the other cups the curve of your ass cheek as he pulls you flushed against him, those soft lips finally meeting yours.

He greedily and desperately attached your mouths together, intermingling your breaths and surely bruising your lips with the claim he had of your mouth, lips rubbing against one another systematically and rhythmically. A small groan rumbles across Jin’s chest and you can feel it under the hand you placed on top of his heart, enticing your own moan of appreciation.

When Jin’s tongue delves between your parted lips, twining with yours and coaxing it to move and respond avidly, your knees rattle under you and embers start crackling under your skin, tingles racing up your spine. Your hands lock behind his neck automatically as he starts to walk backwards, blindly trying to guide you both to the bedroom.

The hand that was holding your lower back lets go and your foggy mind registers some sort of clatter to your right, but Jin’s teeth scrapping your bottom lip distract you before you could figure out what produce it.

Only once you get inside the bedroom do you understand what it was. The back of your knees hit the mattress and your body fell softly on it, Jin standing at the edge of the bed with a hungry look in his dark eyes. You realize he is holding the bowl with the whipped cream you made, which he then places on the bed next to your head.

Smiling knowingly, you can’t help but dip two of your finger in it, locking eyes with Jin as you take them in your mouth and lick them clean. Jin has to close his eyelids as he feels his eyes roll to the back of his head and a shudder overtakes him, growling when he looks back at you and you are already pulling your shirt over your head. In less than a second, he is disposing of his.

Almost predatory like, you marvel as Jin bends over you, slowly looming over your body as he makes his way on his hands and knees up the bed, eyes burning you, until he reaches the same level as you. Both of his knees on either side of your round hips, hands holding him up on either side of your head, you don’t dare avert your stare even as you sense him moving his right hand away.

His thumb returns with a generous dose of whipped cream on it, that he carefully and slowly smudges over your lips. You are tempted to lick it off, but you know that is not what he wants. Instead you await as he regards you with a fiery look, taking a moment before leaning down and licking your lips clean. You open your mouth and indulge on the flavor of the mixture of the whipped cream and Jin’s own unique taste. Full blown flames feel like are burning your insides, desire building up tension in your core.

It is a hot but short kiss, Jin’s mouth moving south as his right hand goes under you to unclasp your bra and his left one is fondling your curvy sides. He pecks at your fevered skin as he pulls the straps down your arms and throws the bra somewhere in the room. The hand that was by your side moves up to cup your breast and roughly squeeze it, making your arch into his touch and moaning breathily. Your nails are scratching at his triceps, the back of his arms, as your legs rub together on their own accord in search of some friction in between them.

His pecks stop just short of your puckered nipple, as he lifts his head and watches as his fingers tease the poor bud until you are puffing in frustration and hit his arm.

“Jin!” you manage to say in a ragged breath.

He looks at you intensely, hands freezing on your skin much to your irritation. But you hold your complaints back as you sense he is on the verge of saying something.

“I want… Can I… It’s just…” he struggles to make his will known, even though you already had a good idea what it was about.

“Jin…” you reach your hands and cradle his beautiful face, thumbs reassuringly brushing the skin of his cheeks. “Do what you want. I’m all yours.”

That seems to do it for him. Jin turns his head to kiss the palm of your hand before he reaches for the bowl next to your head, getting one last approving look from you before he pours the cream all over your breasts. You gasp at the sudden cold, but your insides feel like are scorching with the conjectures of what he was about to do and how it would feel.

Jin places the bowl somewhere in the bed, not even looking as all his attention seems to be on the drooping cream covering your tits, exactly like he imagined so many times the past few days. Taking no more time, he delves down and tastes your salty sweat overpowered by the sweetness of the whipped cream, right in between the valley of your breast. You mewl and your hands clasp at his fluffy hair and the nape of his neck, urging him to lick you completely clean.

“Th… Ahhh!... The sheets will need to be changed” you note, the cream already melting down your sides and dripping on the bed.

“Worth it” he merely states, before finally finding your perked nipple beneath the cream and sucking on it like his life depended on it.

You whimper and pull his hair tight, enticing a low rumble from the back of his throat that only contributes to the already pooling center begging for attention between your legs. But Jin is purely focused on the mess he made on your chest, not resting until your skin is completely lapped clean and no trace of any cream rests on it.

“Fuck, Jin, please!” You are incredibly built up with lustful tension, urging your boyfriend to give your boobs a rest and focus somewhere else, preferably where you most want to be touched.

At last satisfied with his work, Jin’s thick lips move down towards your soft belly, hands skimming down until he tugs at the waist of your shorts. Offering no resistance, you lift your butt and help him take both the shorts and the panties off.

“You too” you ask, one foot brushing down his covered thigh.

“You’re so fucking hot, Y/N” he curses in a whisper as he rushes to remove his own pants and boxers with shaky hands, erection springing free against his lower stomach. “I can’t believe I get to do this with you.”

“Always, babe. Now hurry, I need you!” You rub your legs together and pout to make a point.

Jin bites his bottom lip before crawling back on to the bed, settling comfortably between your legs as he pecks and kisses up your meaty calves and thighs, drawing lewd sighs and whimpers from your lips. His arms go around your thighs as he pulls them further apart until he his facing your glistening pussy, throbbing and clenching with wanton.

“Jin, please!” You are clawing the sheets and throwing your head back with anticipation.

But he doesn’t give you what you want, not yet. Instead, he moves to grab the remains of the whipped cream and with deliberately slow movements, pours the remaining creamy foam down your wet folds.

You buck your hips and hiss at the jolting feeling of the freezing liquid, when in comparison to how scorching your mound was. It brought some and almost no relief at the same time and your brain was mushing with overpowering yearning. Jin admires the sight for a moment, your round face scrunching with need, eyes tightly shut close, hands fisting the sheets and bountiful body writhing bellow him. Those full tits gleaming with remains of his tongue’s path, skin already sweaty, and the delicious cream covering your precious womanhood, waiting for him to devour. And he would.

Devour is the right word. When Jin positions himself comfortably between you legs and dives in, is like nothing you ever experienced before. His lips press and suck at your sensitive skin as he chucks the heavier layers of cream off of you, enough for your pussy to tense up at his proximity and not enough for finding any relief. He goes all around your folds and you are huffing and growling at his teasing before the wailing starts, when he finally laps the liquid right in between your folds, tongue slurping from the bottom to the pulsating clit at the top.

You are crying out his name as his persistent tongue flickers your hardened button and sucks the mixture of your juices and the liquid remains of the whipped cream. Your hips are moving despite your will, rubbing against his face and seeking him closer, deeper. The feeling of his soft fat lips opening and closing around your clit and his tongue thrashing it, before moving down and delving deep in your aching hole, has you screaming and the flames inside give way to a full explosion.

Jin feels the first tell-tale of your orgasm as your inner muscles flutter rapidly around his tongue. Humming with satisfaction, he detours his wet muscle to your clit and lavashes it at a mad pace, incredibly pleased at how you moan his name in a scream and your hand claws at his on your thigh, your back arching off the bed as the climax hits you strong.

You go limp and struggle to catch your breath after the high, semi-aware of Jin’s kisses on your inner sides. Maybe it was the incredibly frustrating slow build up, the long play with your breasts or maybe you were more into food play than you thought, but that was one of the strongest orgasms you ever had with oral sex.

Except he wasn’t done. Not yet. Just as you were about to pull him up, he renews his hold on your thighs, this time stronger than before, reattaching his mouth to your quim. Your overly sensitive skin burns under his tongue and you gasp and try to move away, but he is holding you in place.

“J-Jin! It’s t-too much!” you try to say, clawing his hands.

“Need you completely clean, don’t want you to get an infection or something.” You struggle to hear him since he doesn’t move away from between your legs, and his voice roars right against your silky center, contributing for the renewing hunger melting your insides.

He impedes your hips from moving as his tongue keeps swirling around your pulsating clit and your clenching hole, savoring your sweetened fluids like it’s his favorite dessert. You squeal and screech in a cracking voice, cheeks flushed red, taking shallow breaths and bringing one hand to his hair as your overly sensitive pussy is driven rapidly to the edge. The last climax still fresh, it takes no longer than a minute or two of his tongue twirling around your inner walls and lapping at your pearl every so often for the tightness in your abdomen to burst again, an electric current running along your nerves endings before numbing your body.

Jin licks it all off before releasing his hold on you and leaving short pecks up your stomach, up your chest all the way to your neck and ending against your lips. Even tired as you are, you move your head to kiss him back, adoring the way he slowly deepens the kiss, taking his time to warm you up again. His hands move from your thick thighs up your rolls of flesh at your sides, stopping to fondle your tits for a few moments, then continuing to your shoulders and down your arms, stopping as he holds your hands in his.

He shifts his position so that his lower half is flushed against you, and the feeling of his hard as a rock cock rubbing ever so slightly against your thigh suddenly turns the inward buzzing of satisfaction in your veins to a newly created raging longing. Your brain immediately goes to how good it would feel to have him inside and it leaves you hungrier than ever for him.

“Jin, I’m ready” you say, fingers going down his chest, feeling the flutter of his abdominals before circling around his erect length and stroking at the base.

He chokes on his words for a while as you mess with him, before licking his lips and grabbing your hips to turn you around on the bed. You position yourself on your hands and knees, presenting your ass up to him. Jin growls at the visual and guides his shaft to your folds, rubbing himself against you for a few moments before entering.

You see him reaching for the almost empty bowl, pouring the little remains of cream down your back. The whip cream doesn’t feel so cold anymore, but you still shiver and push your butt back against him, silently urging him.

Taking a hold of himself, Jin inserts the tip of his dick first, hands moving to clutch your plushy hips, before plummeting all of him in one go, your eager insides sucking him in and the tip just kissing at your cervix, deep within you. Stuttering moans leave your parted lips once he starts thrusting, leaning down to lick at your spine while he pulls in and out, raising goosebumps all over your backbone up to the nape of your neck.

You move your hips to meet his thrusts in the middle and easily fall into a maddening rhythm that as you crying out, with real tears building up in your eyes at how hot you felt, how much pressure was building up in your core, your whole body sprung with such tension. When Jin raises his right knee, standing on his foot instead, barely slowing the tempo at all, the angle changes slightly but just enough for his length to be stroking that cluster of nerves deep inside that sends bliss all over your body.

“Ahh…! Jin, there! There! I’m gonna…!” you breath out in pleads.

“Y/N!... Oh, God…”

Felling your velvet damp walls clenching intensely around him and hearing your telling high-pitched moans, Jin suddenly turns you around, dips his finger in the empty bowl left in the bed, gathering just enough cream to cover your lips before claiming them with his. His lunges speed up and with each thrust his pelvic bone rubs at your clit at the same time he kisses you deeply, both of you tasting the whipped cream that started all of this.

He swallows your moans as you finally are pushed over the edge and cum, barrel of fireworks ripping through the inside of your body as a you clenched around him in a spiraling orgasm. Jin whimpers as his hips stutter and his body is wracked with shudder after shudder, before he stills and spills his ecstasy deep inside you.

Your toes are still curled, eyes still seeing black and white dots and back still arched in the aftermath of your orgasm when he falls limp above you, his sweaty skin sticking to yours, drops glistening in his forehead, a vein still prominent on his temple and on his neck. You have half a mind to feel his pounding heartbeat against your skin, enough percipient to not mistake it for your own.

“Sorry, am I crushing you?” you hear Jin mutter once he reobtains his faculties.

He tries to slide off of you, but you throw your arms around his shoulders and press him close, not allowing him to move.

“No, stay” you ask.

Jin smiles and kisses your cheek, not removing himself from you, but doing his best to hold his weight with his forearms.

“Thank God for that recipe on Instagram” you cheekily comment, smiling against his shoulder.

Jin chuckles, lifting himself up so he can look down at you as he speaks. His fingers brush the baby hairs from your sticky forehead.

“Yeah… I’m not sure I would be brave enough to tell you how much I wanted to do this” he confessed shyly. Your eyes widen at that, curious.

“What? You’ve been thinking about something like this before?”

“I have. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, though. Guess I couldn’t control myself once I saw you making the whipped cream.”

“Well… I’m glad you didn’t. This was really nice” you admit, one hand drawing random patterns on the back of his shoulder.

“It surely was” he agrees, leaning down and kissing your shoulder. “Now, we should go and take a shower. Clean any whipped cream off your body before it causes an infection or something.” He was furrowing his fluffy eyebrows with concern.

“Oh? But I’m pretty sure you already cleaned me up” you joke, still vividly reminded of how thorough his tongue was on removing the sweet cream of your body.

“You naughty girl” he chuckles, pecking at your lips before moving away and pulling you both to your feet.

“Fine, fine. But I’m making more whipped cream after and that is going only to the dessert, you hear me, mister?” You point your index finger at him as you walk to the bathroom.

Following you, he smirks before grabbing your naked form and pulling you against his.

“But what to do? I prefer it on my new favorite dessert.”

You blush and smack his arm, even as you can’t control the smile tugging at your lips. You would definitely be making whipped cream more often now. And maybe start buying chocolate syrup. And ice-cream for summer.

#bts chubby reader #bts chubby!reader #bts x chubby reader #chubby reader #bts #BTS jin #bts seokjin #jin #jin x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jin smut #seokjin smut #bts smut #kpop plus size #kpop chubby reader #kpop smut #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic

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steves-on-a-plane · 3 years

Text

For Frosting & Feelings

Written for: @star-spangled-bingo 2021! Words: 1384 Square Filled: Bakery AU Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: None, E for everyone! Summary: Bucky and Reader are rival bakers getting ready for their town’s yearly baking competition. When Bucky stops in for some pre-game taunting he learns that Reader, who is typically over prepared, might not get to compete at all due to staffing errors and supply shortages. Reader believes his support is purely self motivated but decides to play along to see how things pan out.

“It’s all right everyone, you can hold your applause.” James Barnes announced as he sauntered into your bakery. James owned a small patisserie on the other side of town. He also happened to be your biggest and most successful rival. He was no doubt stopping by to brag about his entry for the town’s cake decorating contest or worse he may want to share some other victory of a contest you’d yet to know about.

“Don’t worry, no one was clapping.” You snapped back.

“Ohh, someone’s sounding a little icy.” He teased, walking up to the counter.

“What do you want James?” You huffed. You cashed out the customer who’d been in line in front of him and waited for his answer.

“I would like to know how your plans are going for the Cake Off tomorrow and I want to sample your croissants. One with Ham and Cheese please.” He winked.

“The very same croissants you accused of always making too dry, yet still order every time you come in?” You questioned, ringing up his total.

“[Y/N, it’s no fun teasing you if you’re not going to fight back.” He frowned. “Everything okay?” He asked. You stared at him, not sure if he was being genuine. “I mean it.” He insisted, paying his bill. “You don’t seem yourself.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, things are very much not okay.” You confessed in a brief moment of weakness. You turned away and began prepping his order so that you didn’t have to see the gloating smirk that was no doubt now plastered on his face. “The supplies I needed for the Bake off have been delayed because of the snow. The delivery company won’t bring me anything until Monday. Even though we’re actually not even getting snow anymore. The supply company can’t send a rush order with a different delivery company because even if they did, the order wouldn’t make it here till Tuesday the earliest. I could go to the nearest wholesale club and get some of the things I need but that would require my staff to actually show up for their jobs instead of calling out sick the night before the biggest competition of the year.” You put James’ sandwich in the toaster oven and turned back to look at him. “So, you can start writing your victory speech now. Looks like the Cake-Off is yours for the second year in a row.”

“How much stuff are you missing?” He asked. “My place isn’t too far…”

“And why would I accept supplies from you?” You asked.

“Because you need them.” He laughed.

“Why would you want to help me?” You narrowed your eyes suspiciously.

“I already told you it’s no fun for me without someone to compete against. There are over a dozen bakeries in this town, but every year the final competition always comes down to you and I. If there’s no challenge in the victory, I don’t want it.” He shrugged. “So I’d like to supply you with whatever you need for the bake off and you can pay me back by giving me some actual competition. Deal?” He extended his hand for you to shake.

You stared at it scrupulously. This was really your own chance to have a hope of being ready for the competition in time tomorrow. You needed those supplies and you both knew it. It had been announced that this year’s winner would get the contract for the incoming mayor’s inauguration after party. That meant not just a cake order, but desserts and possibly hors d’oeuvres. You wanted that contract, but accepting his offer also meant owing James a favor. You weren’t sure you were ready to commit to that.

“Fine.” You sighed. You accepted his extended hand and gave it a brief shake.

“Great!” He smiled. “You can just make me a list of everything you need and I’ll take my croissant to go.”

An hour later the buzzer rang for your back door. You opened it, surprised to see James standing there in just a white sleeveless shirt, with a five-pound bag of flour slung over his shoulder. You couldn’t help but notice the muscles on his right arm which were flexed from holding the bag.

“Are you going to invite me in, [Y/N]?” He chuckled. “It’s cold out here.”

“I uh, yes.” You nodded, stepping aside. “What happened to the shirt you were wearing earlier.

“I was sweating through it in my kitchen while I was gathering everything up. I was halfway here when I realized I’d left it. It’s a cute little set up you’ve got back here.” He commented, his eyes scanning the kitchen. Cute. You knew he was purposefully teasing you about the size of your kitchen. He’d already admitted that he was trying to get a rise out of you.

“I guess this is your first time being in here.” You said, trying to respond neutrally.

“It’s my first time being invited in.” He replied. “Don’t get me wrong, I designed my kitchen myself so it’s perfect, but there are days where I wish I had something more…intimate like this. Hang on, are you the only one here?”

“No, you’re here too.” You quipped.

“ha-ha. I meant where are your employees?” He asked.

“I already told you they called out. I had five people scheduled today between front and back of house and only one person showed up. My front of house manager. You met her when you came in.” You told him.

“Let me get this straight, you have to do this who cake by yourself? How are you going to finish it in time?” He wanted to know.

“I’ll have to stay up all night I guess.” You shrugged.

“[Y/N], we’ve been friends for years, I’ve seen the designs you come up with. There’s no way you can do all that work by yourself.” He commented.

“You like competition, I like bad odds.” You countered. “And since when are we friends?”

“Since three years ago, when you rescued me at the county fair pie eating competition. I thought we were supposed to each make a dozen pies but it was two. You showed up with three and a half dozen, just in case someone didn’t have enough. Do you remember?” He chuckled.

“It was a pie eating competition, the mayor had put you and I in charge of making sure there were enough pies. It would have looked bad on both of us if even one bakery was short a few.” You said. “I didn’t think you remembered that.”

“Well, I did.” He confessed. “I also remember that time you nearly fed the soon-to-be mayor’s daughter peanuts despite the fact that she was death allergic.”

“The man ordered a peanut butter and chocolate cake for her birthday. Why would he do that if she was allergic? I had no idea, thankfully you stopped in the morning before I started making it so I could call and correct the problem. What about the time you hired that guy, the one who ate half your order…”

“Gene!” He remembered suddenly. “I almost forgot about Gene. Couldn’t believe he’d managed to eat six eclairs on the way to that fundraiser. You bailed me out by meeting me in that dark parking lot and we snuck six of your eclairs onto the tray. No one noticed.”

“I assume my six received higher praise than the others.” You laughed.

“I honestly think the guests were all too drunk to notice.” An awkward silence settled into the air between the two of you. “Maybe we’ve been doing this all wrong…” He added quietly.

“What do you mean?” You asked him.

“I mean we’re better together. We’ve been helping each other out for years. Maybe this year we go into the competition together. With my flavor profiles and your designs? There’s not a single bakery out there that could take us on together.” He insisted.

“I don’t know, James…”

“Bucky.” He interrupted you. “My friends call me Bucky.” We are friends after all, aren’t we?” He took a step closer to you, almost daring you to take the next step. You stepped towards him, not answering his question. “Of course, we could be more than friends…” He added edging closer to you.

#Bucky Banres #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes Reader Insert #Bucky Barnes Fan Fiction #Bucky Barnes Fan Fic #Bucky Barnes FF #SSB2021 #Star Spangled Bingo #Star Spangled Bingo 2021

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omnivorousshipper · 4 years

Note

Request Friday: So this has been tumbling around in my brain all day— Deck working at a bakery and Luke getting a cupcake from Roman (we KNOW he loves eating) and Luke starts to come in every week for his cheat day. His buddies give him a hard time because he has to increase his workouts because of all the sweets he buys in his attempt to gain Deck’s attention/talk to him more. Owen and Hattie working there just straight cockblocking— offering to take Luke’s order or saying Deck isn’t there (out delivering an order) when he’s in the back taking a batch out of the oven.

Omg!! I LOVE this one to bits!! I absolutely love writing Deckard owning his own bakery and his sibs helping him with it 😭

It all happened on a Thursday. Luke's not sure why, but it happened that day. Apparently that's when the bakery down the street would sell their stale items for half off.

Luke only knew that because Roman would come in every Thursday talking about the cute cashier at the bakery and eating a bag of older pastries

So, it was a Thursday when Roman gave him a cupcake because Luke had been complaining about having to buy snacks for his cheat day

"Pearce, you don't have to give me this."

Roman shrugged

"With the way you work out, you deserve this man."

Taking the cupcake, Luke was hesitant. It was supposedly stale after all. Deciding that he can just throw it out if he doesn't like it, Luke took a bite

And nearly let out a moan

The cupcake tasted amazing. He couldn't even tell that it was stale

"Good, huh?" Roman smirked at him, smugly knowing the effect the cupcake had in Luke

"You said you got this from down the street?" Luke asked increasingly. The shop was small and Luke had always assumed it was a mom and pop shop that would be bought up soon

"Yep. But if you do go, I call dibs on the cute cashier." Roman warned him

Luke rolled his eyes

~~~

A small bell rung above Luke's head as he entered the small bakery. There were tables and chairs lining on wall while a long row of display cases lined the opposite wall

Walking in, Luke could see that he was the only one there. Which made sense. Who else would be in a bakery at noon on a Friday?

Looking into the cases, Luke started drooling. Everything looked amazing and picture perfect. From rows of donuts, pastries, desserts, and everything in between, Luke knew what he'd be eating on his next cheat day

"Can I help you with anything?" A British voice asked a little ways away from Luke

Snapping his head up, Luke saw a man looking at him curiously and wiping his hand of flour

"Not really. Just looking right now." Luke said. "But I have to ask, how does everything look so...amazing?"

The man sent him a toothy grin

"Like my work? Have to get up before the ass crack of dawn, but it's worth it."

"Wait. Are you saying you make all of this?" Luke asked incredulously.

"Yep." The man nodded. "I've been trying to get another baker in for a while, but I haven't found anyone good enough."

"Yeah, I'm not sure if there is anyone else who could do all of this."

The man's smile grew shy, making Luke realize something. The baker was gorgeous. His smile lit up his whole face, showing Luke a kind and sweet man

"Thanks, mate. Means a lot."

"But there's no way you're running this place and baking."

"No. My brother and sister help me out and work up front, letting me stay in the back most of the time. They're just out getting lunch right now."

"Well, I'm glad I have you all to myself then." Luke said smoothly, smirking at the baker

The man's cheeks went pink at that

"Well, most people don't come in during this time." The man said. "I'm Deckard by the way."

"Luke. Nice to meet you Deckard."

~~~

After their first meeting, Luke walked out with a box of donuts and a promise to come back.

He wishes he had left with a phone number as well.

Next time he would

The next week saw him coming back to the bakery. Opening the door, Luke was hoping to see Deckard. Instead, he saw a different man at the counter

Walking up, Luke asked for Deckard

"Why do you need to see him?" The man asked back, eyes narrowed

"I just wanted to talk to him." Luke answered honestly

"Well, he's out delivering a wedding cake."

"Do you know when he'll be back?"

"No." The man snapped. "Now do you want to buy something or not?"

That day also saw him leaving with a box of donuts. Deckard might not be there, but at least his baking was

~~~

Luke went back to the small bakery for several weeks, but never got to see Deckard again. No matter when he went in, there was either the two regular cashiers there. Who, Luke had to guess, where Deckard's brother and sister

But each and every time he asked for Deckard, they would say he wasn't there. Which, statically, was fucking impossible

By this point, Luke absolutely regretted not getting Deckard's number that first time

He was getting sick of Deckard's siblings.

And frankly, he was getting fed up with the comments his coworkers made about all the times Luke went to the bakery

A man was allowed cheat days!

It was another Thursday, bringing Roman and his half priced pastries

"Hey, man." Luke greeted him. "Do you ever see the baker at the bakery?"

"You mean Deckard? Yeah. I see him all the time." Roman said, already biting into a cookie

"What? He's never there when I go!"

Roman shrugged

"It might be because of his siblings. Owen and Hattie are pretty protective of him."

"What do you mean?"

"Deckard practically raised them. He means the world to them, that's why they're helping him with his dream of owning his own bakery."

"Why do you know all of this?" Luke asked, narrowing his eyes

Roman sent him a toothy smile

"Owen finally agreed to go out with me."

Luke nearly facepalmed. So that's who Roman was talking about when he talked about a cute cashier

"Look. I want to see Deckard, but I don't think his brother and sister will let me. Can you help me out?"

Roman looked at him like he was crazy

"I don't know man... Hattie and Owen can be pretty scary about that kind of thing."

"Yeah, and Deckard's his own person and can make his own decisions. Including who he goes out with."

Roman scrunched up his face

"Fine. I'll help. I'll try to get them out tomorrow around lunch."

~~~

The next day, Luke held his breath as he pushed open the door to the small bakery. He hoped Roman kept to his promise.

Looking around, Luke saw a small family at one of the tables, but nobody else.

Except for a gorgeous man behind the counter, putting more donuts out

"Hey. Long time no see, princess."

Deckard's head snapped up and he smiled widely at Luke

"About time you showed your face around here."

Hope you enjoyed friend!

#shobbs #deckard shaw #luke hobbs #hobbs and shaw #owen shaw #hattie shaw #roman pearce #rowen #asks #omni answers #omni writes

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noisykate · 5 years

Text

Azores to Falmouth - or nearly

The Azores are lovely, and deserve much more than the few days we gave them. Another time, perhaps.

Horta is the main port of arrival, the marina full of boats which have had big adventures. The social atmosphere is very relaxed; everybody here has ‘been there, done it’ to a significant degree, and the normal tensions arising from watching new arrivals – do they know what they’re doing, can they handle their boat – simply don’t apply. It is difficult to explain – the nearest I can get is that when you pull in to a service station on the M1, there are no learner drivers. It’s a bit like that. A bit.

It is truly wonderful to get back to sensibly priced groceries, decent bread and cheese, and restaurants which don’t hustle you out at 9pm and expect huge tips regardless of the food, because the staff don’t get paid.

The Azores are volcanic: the centre of this island (Faial) is a huge caldera, which we drove up to in our little hire car, with John and Sue, and Carl. We circumnavigated the island, stopping to walk around the area of the 1950’s eruption, which inundated the old lighthouse and a small whaling village on the western end. Stopping for a great lunch of mussels, which Carl thought he didn’t like – disguised with prodigious amounts of garlic, they were a huge hit. Surprisingly green and rural, the island is charming, cattle everywhere. The architecture is Portuguese in style, but mitigated with a more subtle use of the highly patterned tiles we saw in the mainland.

We left Horta on Monday – 17th- after waiting for a predicted blow to pass through. It was a bit of a non-event in Horta, but we weren’t the only ones to play it cautious. Stopping at the fuel dock was a bit of a game, with three boats already in place, and a wind sufficient to pop fenders on the inside boat, a crippled French boat with a broken stay – and, it has to be said, rubbish fenders. Still, the weight of three other boats pressing him into the dock under the influence of 20 knots was a bit much. The marina seemed blithely unconcerned; this is clearly quite normal.

We are now 400 miles out, about 1/3 of the way to Falmouth. The weather has been all over the place, with some flat calm, some fog, and now some windy, rolly conditions, with winds gusting up to 30 knots, and seas up to 4m. The boat is behaving very well, the hydrovane (mechanical wind-driven steering system) coping with most of what gets thrown at it, although you have to be ready to take over for the squalls. Thankfully, these mostly lie in wait for Carl’s watch, to the extent that he is the only one who preps for his watch by putting full oilies on.

Sleep deprivation has taken its toll on tempers - mine particularly. Doing 4 hour shifts nominally gives each person two eight-hour periods off-watch, which should be plenty, but when the boat is rolling hard, it is difficult to get to sleep and then stay asleep long enough to clear the deficit. Fitting in communal eating times also cuts into it.

The food has generally worked out ok, if I say so myself. Homemade bread and cakes (all right, the cake was from just-add-an-egg packets) most days, and cooked-from-scratch dinners most days. The Omnia (stovetop oven) has been brilliant, as has the pressure cooker. The boat oven has hardly been used.

Overall, though, I am done with long passage-making. The magical milky-way star-lit nights with phosphoresce sparkling in the wake as we bob along in a gentle breeze are an absolute delight, but sleep deprivation, uncertainties over the weather, and the physical challenge of cooking and doing the normal stuff of life while being thrown about are the norm – glad I’ve done it, but don’t need to do it again.

Really, really looking forward to getting to Falmouth; family and friends, a long list of jobs, and the prospect of some paid work for both of us; me in acoustics, while Mike will be looking for something boat-related. Berthing master at a handy south-coast marina, with a free berth thrown in, would suit. Not holding our breath, but no chance if you don’t ask!

26 June 2019

We’ve turned towards A Coruna, in the face of persistent north-easterly winds, and the threat of a full gale in the Falmouth area a few days ahead. Now making slow but steady progress, hard on the wind. Winds 20-25 knots, occasionally up to 30, from just north of east.

We were getting advice to divert from Falmouth to either (a) a point south of Ireland, then east, or (b) head direct to Camaret (Brittany, near Brest). In the event, neither option was really tenable – (a) put us in the path of a still unknown quantity, which at times threatened to be quite nasty, and (b) simply did not work – we could not make a course which put us anywhere close. All thoroughly fed up, some more than others; Coruna was the nearest available and attainable land. Carl can fly to London from there, and we will regroup and sort ourselves out before continuing home. So very, very ready to be not on the boat for a while.

27 June 2019

Motoring the last few miles into Coruna. Boring. And a slightly anticlimactic end to our Atlantic odyssey. We expect to arrive in the very early morning, perhaps 4am, and will probably anchor until daylight.

28 June 2019

So we got here, eventually. Marina Coruna, north-west Spain. Tintin got in first, and were anchored just outside the marina when we arrived at about 6am local time. No dramas, apart from the night of no sleep for Mike, as the 50-mile (=10-hour) band around this corner of Spain is very busy with large shipping, and the alarm kept tripping every few minutes, all night. No danger, plenty of warning, but little chance of proper sleep. I got off best, lying down at 11pm, getting up for a few short-lived non-events, then up properly at about 5am to help get in to the marina.

We crawled into the first appropriate berth, had breakfast, and bodged around, all very grumpy and sleep-deprived, until it was time to check in, which -as usual- took ages.

Carl and I set about sorting the inside of the boat; laundry, damp cushions and mattresses, grime everywhere. Mike got back eventually, and bodged about some more, in a foul mood, before conceding that the problem was lack of sleep. Carl went off on his own to explore, his one-and-only chance to check out this part of Spain, and, with luck, pick up some of the special fids (rope-splicing tools) he had been coveting since Mike showed him ours.

Partly revived by about 3-hours on the saloon sofa, Mike and I had a beer and a light lunch in the marina bar, while the first of several loads of washing did its thing. We bumped into Carl, on his way back to the boat for his passport so he could check in to his flight – he looks pretty dreadful – almost as if he’d had no sleep.

We were delighted to find Barbara and Simon (Cartagena friends) in situ in the marina, and I was able to have a coffee and a catch-up of sorts, promising to make a better go of it sometime in the UK – their boat is destined for a mooring off West Mersea! They fly home tomorrow, having decided that the current (wrong for sailing north) weather is set to last for at least a week. We shall see.

And phoning home, of course – got hold of everybody to some degree or another, only to find that Rachel and David had planned a big surprise arrival party in Falmouth, which we have utterly harpooned by not going there at the appointed hour. So very disappointing, but deeply touched that they wanted to make the effort.

So – we’ve been stuck in the Bahamas, stuck in Puerto Rico, St Thomas, the Azores, and now Spain. So far, Spain is by far and away the most amenable.

1 July 2019

Weather here is cloudy, and it has been quite cold today, with blustery winds from the north. Still no sign of any change in the conditions which would allow us to head out.

Have wasted most of the day watching films on TV, disheartened after finding all my stored-away warm clothes damp and covered in mildew. Some may be revived by a wash, but some are clearly trashed. Nothing valuable, just really, really annoying.

We had a lovely evening with Jacquie and Kevin off Tintin last night; good food, good company, lively conversation.

Intensely frustrated to be here, and not back in the UK – things to do, people to see… spending time each day on weather sites, but still failing to find anything useful.

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language-dragon · 6 years

Text

Norwegian Cooking Vocabulary

Redskaper - Ustensils

Oppskrift (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) - Recipe Bestemor følger ikke noen oppskrift når hun lager mat - Grandma doesn’t follow a recipe when cooking

Visp (m; -en, -er, -ene) (å vispe / å røre / å piske) - Whisk Pisk eggehvitene med en visp - Whisk the egg whites by hand

Sleiv (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) (å røre / å blande) - Wooden spoon En sleiv gjør det lett å blande ting - A wooden spoon is good for mixing

Stekespade (m; -n, -r, -ne) (å snu, å vende) - Spatula / Turner Jeg trenger ikke en stekespade for å snu pannekakene mine - I don’t need a spatula to flip my pancakes

Slikkepott (m; -en, -er, -ene) (å skrape, å vende inn) - Spatula Barna mine slikker bollen ren med slikkepott når vi har bakt sjokoladekake - My kids use a spatula to lick the bowl after we’ve made chocolate cake

Øs|e (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) (å øse) - Soup ladle Bruk en øse til å øse suppe over i tallerkenen - Use a ladle to pour soup into the bowl

Kniv (m; -en, -er, -ene) (å skjære / å kutte / å hakke) - Knife Finhakk hvitløk med en skarp kniv - Finely chop garlic with a sharp knife

Gaf|fel (m; -felen, -ler, -lene) - Fork Gaflene skal ligge på venstre side av tallerkenen - The forks should be on the left side of the plate

Skje / teskje / spiseskje (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) - Spoon / teaspoon / tablespoon En spiseskje utgjør ca. 15 mL - A tablespoon is about 15 mL. Skei is also a common spelling, and has the same conjugational pattern. Han må få det inn med teskei - It has to be explained very minutely to him (lit.: he has to be fed with a teaspoon)

Målebeg|er / Litermål (n; -eret/-et, -er/-, -rene/-ene) (å måle / å helle) - Measuring cup Mål opp 5 dL melk i et litermål - Pour 5 dL of milk into a measuring cup.

Bolle (m; -n, -r, -ne) - Bowl Bland alt det tørre i en bolle - Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl

Kjevl|e (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) - Rolling pin Kjevle deigen løvtynn med en kjevle - Use a rolling pin to roll the dough paper-thin.

Stekeovn (m; -en, -er, -ene) (å steke) - Oven Stek kalkunen i stekeovnen på 200 °C - Roast the turkey in the oven at 200 °C

Komfyr (m; -en, -er, -ene) - Stove Ikke legg hånda di på komfyren; den er varm! - Don’t put your hand on the stove; it is hot!

Kjøleskap (n; -et, -, -ene) - Fridge Matrester holder seg lenger i kjøleskapet enn i romtemperatur - Leftovers will keep longer in the fridge than if left at room temperature

Kasserolle / kjele (m; -n, -r, -ne) (å koke) - Pot / Saucepan Jeg skal lage en svær porsjon med chilli i denne kasserollen! - I am going to make a lot of chili in this pot!

Gryt|e (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) - Dutch oven / Thick cooking pot Og mens smør og sukker skummer tar man åtte eggeplommer som man rører rundt i gryta med en kilo hvetemjøl - As butter and sugar foams, add eight egg yolks and mix them with one kg of flour in the pot

Stekepann|e (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) (å steke / å varme) - Frying pan / Skillet Varm oljen i en stor stekepanne - Heat the oil in a large skillet

Stekebrett (n; -et, -, -ene) - Sheet pan / baking tray Legg pizzadeigen på et stekebrett - Put the pizza dough on a sheet pan

Rist (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) (å avkjøle på) - Cooling/baking/wire rack Avkjøl kjeksene på rist før servering - Cool the cookies on a baking rack before serving them.

Rivjern (n; -et, -, -ene/-a) (å rive / å raspe) - To grate Riv ost på et rivjern og legg halvparten til side - Grate cheese and put aside half.

Potetskreller (m; -en, -e, -ne)(å skrelle) - Peeler Man kan skrelle eplene dersom skallet er for beiskt - The apples can be peeled if the skin is too tart.

Bakepapir (n; -et, -, -ene) - Parchment paper Bakepapir hindrer mat fra å klistre seg til andre beholdere - Parchment paper prevents food from sticking to its container

Ostehøv|el (m; -elen, -ler, -lene) - cheese slicer Ostehøvelen skjærer tynne, delikate osteskiver - The cheese slicer cuts thin, delicate slices of cheese

Ingredienser - Ingredients

Kjøttdeig / kyllingkjøttdeig / svinekjøttdeig (m; -en, -ene, -er) - Minced meat/ground beef / ground chicken / ground pork Kjøttdeig er en allsidig ingrediens som kan brukes i mange oppskrifter - Ground beef is a versatile ingredient that can be used in many recipes

Løk / hvitløk / rødløk / vårløk (m; -en, -er, -ene) - Onion / garlic / red onion / green onions/scallions Øynene mine begynner å renne når jeg kutter løk - My eyes start running when I cut onions

Olivenolj|e / solsikkeolj|e / rapsolj|e (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) - Olive oil / Sunflower oil / Canola oil Rapsolje er godt egnet for frityrkoking - Canola oil is suitable for deep frying

Salt / Pepper (n, uncountable; -et) - Salt / Pepper Du glemte å ha salt og pepper i suppen. Den er helt smakløs - You forgot to add salt and pepper to the soup. It doesn’t taste anything.

Krydder (n; -et, -e, -ne) - Spices De eneste krydderne jeg har i skapet er kanel, timian og spisskummen - The only spices I have in my cupboard are cinnamon, thyme and cumin

Mel (n, uncountable; -et) - Flour Jeg trenger mel, egg og sukker fra butikken - I need to get flour, eggs and sugar from the shop

Egg (n; -et, -, -ene) - Egg Noen ganger teller man egg i snes og dusin - Eggs are sometimes counted as dozens and scores

Sukker (n, uncountable; -et) - Sugar Sukker smaker søtt, hvilket er det motsatte av salt - Sugar tastes sweet, which is the opposite of salty

Melk (m/f, uncountable; -en/-a) - Milk Melk inneholder kalsium som er bra for beina i kroppen - Milk contains calcium which is good for your bones.

Blomkål / Brokkoli (m; -en, -er, -ene) - Cauliflower / Broccoli Brokkoli er det verste jeg vet, men jeg kan spise blomkål - Broccoli is the worst thing I know, but I’ll eat cauliflower

Gul|rot (m/f; -roten/rota, -røtter, -røttene) - Carrot Dette er de største gulrøttene jeg noen gang har sett! - These are the biggest carrots I’ve ever seen!

Tomat / Agurk / Salat (m; -en, -er, -ene) - Tomato / Cucumber / Lettuce Jeg vil ha en burger uten tomat, takk - I’d like a burger without tomato, please

Deig (m; -en, -er, -ene) - Dough La deigen heve i tretti til seksti minutter - Let the dough rise for 30-60 minutes

Lefs|e / Lomp|e (m/f; -en/-a, -er, -ene) - Thin, torilla-like, flatbread, usually made from potatoes or corn En burrito er en maislefse fylt med kjøtt, grønnsaker og dressing - A burrito is a corn tortilla filled with meat, greens and sauce

Fisk (m; -en, -er, -ene) - Fish Fisk er venner, ikke fôr! - Fish are friends, not food!

Sjømat (n, uncountable; -en) - Seafood Norge er et land med lang kystlinje, så befolkningen spiser mye sjømat - Norway has a very long coastline, so its inhabitants eat a lot of sea food

Kjøtt (n, uncountable; -et) - Meat Vegetarianere spiser ikke kjøtt - Vegetarians don’t eat meat

Fjærkre (n; -et, -, -ene) - Poultry Ordet “fjærkre” omfatter høns, ender, gjess og kalkuner - The term “poultry” includes hens, ducks, geese and turkeys.

More often than not, rødt kjøtt and hvitt kjøtt is used to refer to meat and poultry:

Rødt/hvitt kjøtt (n; uncountable) (røde/hvite kjøttet) - Red/white meat Man bør spise mer hvitt kjøtt enn rødt - You should eat more poultry than red meat

Tilberedningsmåter - Preparing the food

Å lage mat (lager, laget, laget) - Cook food Jeg liker å lage mat - I like to cook food

Å steke (steker, stekte, stekt) - To cook, to fry, to bake, to roast Stek kyllingen i stekepannen i femten minutter - Fry the chicken in a frying pan for 15 minutes

Å for|varme (-varmer, -varmet, -varmet) - To preheat Forvarm ovnen til 250 °C - Preheat oven to 250 °C

Å frityr|steke (-steker, -stekte, -stekt) - To deep fry Pommes frites er frityrstekte poteter - French fries are deep fried potatoes

Å koke (koker, kokte, kokt) - To boil For å hardkoke egg, må de kokes i mer enn ti minutter - To make hard boiled eggs, one has to cook them for more than 10 minutes.

Å bake (baker, bakte, bakt) - To bake (not bake in oven, but the process of making baked goods) Når kakerøren er ferdigstekt, har du bakt en kake - When the cake batter is baked, you have made a cake

Å røre (rører, rørte, rørt) - To mix, to incorporate, to stir Rør sammen alle ingrediensene - Mix together all the ingredients

Å blande (blander, blandet, blandet) - To mix, to incorporate, to combine Bland det våte og det tørre - Combine the liquids and the dry ingredients

Å fryse (fryser, fryste, fryst) - To freeze, to congeal Iskremen bør fryses i minst fire timer - The ice cream ought to be frozen for at least 4 hours

Å sette kaldt (setter, satt, satt) - To chill, to refridgerate Settes kaldt før servering - Chill before sering

Å grille (griller, grillet, grillet) - To grill, to roast Man kan grille ananas på grillen - Pineapple can be grilled on an outdoor grill

Å dampe (damper, dampet, dampet) - To steam Dampede grønnsaker er kjempegodt - Steamed vegetables are very good

Å krydre (krydrer, krydret, krydret) - To season Jeg krydrer med fem forskjellige kryddere - I use 5 different spices for seasoning

Å sikte (sikter, siktet, siktet) - To sift Hvetemelet bør siktes før det has i røren - The wheat flour ought to be sifted before it is added to the batter

Å elte / å kna (elter / knar, eltet / knadde, eltet / knadd) - To knead Jo mer vi knar deigen, jo bedre hever den - The more we knead the dough, the better it will rise

Å kjevle (kjevle, kjevlet, kjevlet) - To roll with a rolling pin Jeg kjevler ut deigen med kjevla mi - I roll out the dough with my rolling pin

Å smuldre (smuldrer, smuldret, smuldret) - To crumble, to crush, to grind Smuldre Oreokjeksen og pynt toppen av kaken med dem - Crush the Oreo cookies and garnish the top of the cake with the crumbles

Å ha i / å til|sette (har / -setter, hadde / -satte, hatt / -tilsatt) - To add in, to pour in Ha i fløte, brunt sukker og kardemomme - Add in heavy cream, brown sugar and cardamom

Å helle av (heller, helte, helt) - To drain Jeg brant meg da jeg helte vannet av pastaen - I burnt myself when I drained the pasta

Now go practise on MatPrat, NRK Mat or godt.no!

#norwegian #norwegian vocabulary #norwegian cooking #cooking vocabulary #cooking vocab #norwegian food vocab #food vocab #example phrases take a long time to come up with!#my post #vocab lists

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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i did some stuff today.

i woke up just after 10, due to sleeping in for 45 minutes. i was having dreams about trying to navigate a city but i couldn’t read any of the signs. well, i could recognize the shapes and the colors of the buildings, but the letters didn’t make any sense. and then there was a mcdonalds on every corner so i had trouble keeping track of landmarks. because every corner looked the same.

when i did get out of bed i brushed my teeth and took my meds and stuff. i recently put a new head on my toothbrush and it’s been like scraping my gums with rocks the last few days. the first day when i washed out my mouth there was actually a lot of blood.

hmmm. i looked at some youtube, and then i cooked some scalloped potatoes and had lunch at about 12:30, which is when i like to have it. i got a little sick... i could only eat about half of it. i did the dishes and organized the kitchen a little bit. i noticed that my dad and brother weren’t home (mom had taken off up north to check on something at the family cabin and wouldn’t be back until the evening). so i put away some leftovers for dinner and took my brother’s car over to the ups store. i faxed out my acceptance paperwork to florida and sorted out some email communications i had to take care of when i got back. at the ups store the girl behind the counter didn’t charge me. i thought that was odd, but nice of her. i hope that doesn’t come up later. if it does i’ll just pay the dollar no big deal. i hope.

when i got back dad was home. i started waffling over whether to bake some cookies or a cake. turns out the cookies needed to thaw overnight so i went with the cake. and the frosting was gonna go bad by the end of the month so i figured i’d make use of that. it was, like, “confetti party” flavor. i made cupcakes. i did accidentally put 2 cups of water into the batter instead of 1 and the dough was super watery. i compensated by putting a little more dough in each tray since the cupcakes wouldn’t rise as much in the oven. that worked pretty well, although some of them came out pretty moist on the bottom. they were fully cooked though!

while i was doing that dad left again and asked me to keep track of the paint he had left laying out. so i painted a door and stirred the extra i hadn’t used to keep it fluid. keeping track of the dogs and the oven timer and the paintbrush and whether or not i was brushing against wet paint with my butt was a hassle. and i cleaned my shower, it looks much better now. and took out the trash.

the oven isn’t heating things as well as it should be. i noticed it could use a cleaning though, so maybe that’s the problem. i’ll take a look tomorrow before i bake the cookies.

i am also taking like half of my food to asher tomorrow. there are too many cupcakes. god there are so many. i ate two of them. the first one gave me a stomachache, but the second one was a little easier on me.

while i was working on the second batch my dad and brother came home. then my brother took off again. i fed the dogs a little early and let wiley outside. then i finished frosting the cupcakes and went to play with wiley. and i saw that the sprinklers were on!!! that’s really bad. wiley digs them up. dad didn’t tell me he had changed the sprinkler schedule. so i fished wiley out of the water and dried him off and sent him inside. i did try to play a little later after dinner but it was too muddy, wiley didn’t want to pick up the ball. so i took eve for a little walk. she still limped a little afterward, and she seemed really confused when we came up on the house even though we always take the same route home. she ran into the garage door. the neighbor out watering his plants might have spooked her.

for dinner i had my leftover potatoes. i liked the cayenne pepper i added. maybe a little less next time, or i could add another kind of cheese... we don’t have any besides kraft right now. and i’m not putting that in my body.

then i did something on the internet... oh, i watched the new adventure time episode. i’m so excited for elements next week. i love at’s dream episodes, and this one was really good. they are properly absurd, but also really layered and symbolic, and also sometimes about the future in an abstract way, as dreams should be.

then i started the first episode of motorcity! i got distracted halfway through when i started looking up the voice actors because i recognized so many that it was distracting. i noticed that about adventure time, too. i don’t hear jermaine, i hear greg, from steven universe. i don’t hear abraham kane, i hear mark hamill. when i watch satam sonic, i don’t hear robotnik, i hear jim cummings. he rocks the part, but i still hear the actor very specifically. it happens in ghibli films too.

i like motorcity. i think it has a lot of room to improve. i shall keep you posted.

i also broke out the rest of the leftover wet noodles as a snack since dinner didn’t keep me filled up. it’s hard to offend my stomach with plain pasta. but i still couldn’t eat it all.

and i started another picture. i really like how this one is turning out. i’ve just done the sketch and inking. i will color it tomorrow. asher helped me slightly adjust the color palette. it is a nintendo fan character. i used to have the same kind. there aren’t as many proportion oddities this time because i caught myself during the penciling. hands and feet continue to be a challenge.

that’s what i did today. it is now almost exactly 12. tomorrow i need to... finish the picture, bake the cookies, take the confections to asher’s house, ask mom about the convention in may, give mom an itinerary for my graduation dinners on campus up in flagstaff, maybe sweep the floor so mom/dad can mop, and play with wiley and/or take him for a walk for sure. he was super bummed today when i took eve instead, but it was oppressively hot. i was uncomfortable and i’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt and sandals.

oh! and grocery shop. that’s what i was forgetting. i need coconut oil for the dogs and a bunch of stuff for me.

i got a bug bite directly on my elbow. it itches a lot. but i haven’t scraped up my face in a few days and that is very slowly starting to heal.

i’m still real mad at dad and don’t really want to interact with him, but i am glad that i am feeling semi-productive again. i will do my best to pace myself and not blow all my energy in one place. but there is stuff i have to get done while i’m feeling ok.

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peeppeephellofatface · 7 years

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I finished the FS fic :> I went from being so disappointed with it at first to personally really liking it now.

First half is virtually unchanged from last time aside from maybe one or two words. Duchess of Sutherland and Duchess of Hamilton feed him a lot. In the second half, Sutherland takes over mostly for a lotta tummy rubs and kisses and general loving.

He was cradled across Duchess of Sutherland's lap, sniffling a little in pain while the two sisters traced little circles with their long fingers around his soft, miserably growling, belly. The form all three of them assumed was their more humanoid state, less famous than their appearances as disembodied faces on locomotives, but still maintaining the distinctive grey skin and black eyes. They lacked most human needs and largely used this form only to explore areas inaccessible from rails or move when their true metal bodies could not. However, one human trait they oddly enough maintained was hunger.

Flying Scotsman curled up a little in her arms to try to comfort it himself.

"It's okay big guy"

Duchess of Hamilton had pulled up a chair for herself beside the couch, as she also wanted to help comfort him but didn't feel that she would be able to support his weight. From being on static display for so many years, she was far weaker than her sister, but stronger than Mallard, who had been still for longer. She gave him one last reassuring rub before withdrawing her hand to begin feeding him.

"We've heard how much you love chocolate... and cake. "

She removed a large but neat forkful of the cake and brought it up to his lips, and he devoured it, getting a smudge of frosting on one pudgy cheek. She promptly wiped it off and gave him even more cake. His soft lips sucked in forkful after forkful offered to him greedily, even when there was hardly a quarter of the cake left.

"Hungry, weren't you?"

He replied wordlessly by relaxing a little more in S's arms, causing his shirt to slide up a little. S ran her finger over his chubby tummy, giggling at how she could feel it bulging from accommodating all that cake. A soft heat emanated from it that hadn't before. As their metal bodies did, their physical ones also warmed up the more they were fed. Hammy watched them in quiet delight for a moment before speaking.

"S, could you take over a bit? My arms need a rest and I ought to go fetch some more food for him from the kitchen. Mal wasn't kidding when he said Scotty had an incredible appetite."

"I'd be glad to, Hammy!"

She began feeding him the last of the cake. Deftly, she would bring the fork to his mouth and just as quickly take it away and bring him even more to eat, clearly more zealous and excited about filling him up than her sister. FS's eyes narrowed to happy slits and a little sigh escaped his mouth between bites with the satisfaction of receiving and gulping down mouthful after mouthful. Due to their quicker pace, S soon found herself absentmindedly stabbing the bottom of the now-empty cake plate with the fork. The tiny clink produced shot both of their eyes wide, but S just chuckled upon realizing what startled her. Eyeing the bits of rich fudge frosting left on the plate, she wiped it up on her index finger, then stuck it in his mouth.

Hammy had finally returned with more food while S's finger was still stuck in his mouth.

"Boy, you sure were hungry, tee hee!"

Having sucked all the chocolate from her finger, she tugged it out of his mouth and wiped it off before resuming to rub his now even fuller and warmer tummy.

"If you like being more hands-on like that, S, why don't you give him these and I'll do the petting?"

S rubbed her hands together and wiggled in her seat in happiness at the proposition and reached over him to bring the box of chocolate truffles to her side. Plucking one out delicately, she smoothly popped the little sphere into his mouth, then paused a moment to let him enjoy the taste. Its thin chocolate walls easily disintegrated in his warm mouth, causing its sweet filling to ooze out. As soon as he swallowed, she brought another one to his lips. This time he burst the shell more quickly, delighting in the mintiness that gushed out subsequently. He easily cleaned the box of several dozen chocolates out. S had to loosen his pants a little and patted his stuffed, happily gurgling stomach, feeling a little proud ofher work. She could feel its radiating warmth spreading through her hands and up her forearms.

"Say, Hammy, what took you so long in the kitchen?"

"Oh, funny you should ask that just as they've cooled."

She motioned to a tray of brownies behind her, fresh from the oven. He seemed a little confused.

"Yes, cooking is something I've picked up over the years as a hobby of sorts. It's not as though I get hungry terribly often myself as I just sit around all day, but it's nice to be able to make red velvet cake for S for whenever she's in the area and feels like a bite to eat. "

Midway through her statement, S had cut a good sized hunk of brownie out for him and stuffed it in his mouth. The soft warmth was heavenly, and his eyes lolled back in pleasure. Hammy had sufficiently rested by now and followed up by feeding him another brownie. He went through the pan considerably slower than he had the cake or chocolates, for obvious reasons. His stomach was bloated and gurgling painfully with all the food and it ached terribly as it struggled to handle it.

Sensing that he was about done and getting uncomfortable, the two sisters moved to put their brownies down, but he clumsily grabbed at them, so they obliged and fed him them as a last treat.

"Now let's help that settle down."

S rolled his shirt up a bit to expose the the lower portion of his belly. She bent a little closer to it to give it a little kiss below the navel, patting it tenderly. His body was nicely padded with a thick layer of chub, particularly so around his plump, doughy middle, which currently bulged out even more than usual due to the sheer amount of sweets he'd devoured. She placed a hand on each side of it and felt his glutted tummy, her fingers sinking through his soft flesh.

"Poor thing, your belly is so distended. That can’t be comfortable. We'll make it better, don't worry."

S laid her hands on him and started rubbing his stomach in large, gentle circles, patting it a little or playfully squeezing at the pudge on his sides between cycles. Hammy joined in as well, stroking cautiously to avoid getting entangled with S's hands. FS's eyes narrowed in pleasure feeling four hands running across his sensitive tummy. A wide smile squished them nearly to slits with his chubby cheeks.

"You like that, don't you?"

He went to reply, but ended up burping instead. S gave his belly a pat and another came out, much to her amusement.

"I'll take that as a yes."

She massaged him even more, pressing a little harder this time and getting more vigorous in her motions. His deep sighs of relief were punctuated by the occasional belch or hiccup.

"I bet that feels better."

He nodded silently to her as his head lolled backwards, only to be jerked back upright again at the feeling of her lips against his stomach. S's lap had shifted below him as she bent over to nuzzle her face into its soft expanse while continuing to caress his tender flesh, squeezing it between alternate hands. She lightly touched her lips to the top of it, just below his chest, then trailed kisses along it. He squirmed a little in delight from slight tickle of each one, particularly as she started getting more forceful as she travelled along.. She paused a second after reaching the bottom. Then without warning, she blew a raspberry right into the softest part of it, getting a surprisingly high-pitched squeak of surprise out of him.

Hammy had been sitting idly for a few minutes, and could sense that S was clearly taking control. SHe didn't mind it though, as in recent years she got physically tired quite easily and didn't particularly have the energy to continue in any case.

"I'm getting tired and it's awfully late. I shall be heading back to my engine."

S lifted her head to give her a nod of acknowledgement and tickled FS under the navel.

"I'm going to shift under you a little more, is that okay?"

He smiled in silent agreement. S, still supporting his large frame in her arms, shifted herself around so she lay against an armrest with FS on top of her. He was heavy, but this didn't bother her much, as she was powerful lady in fine physical condition from being in current service. She gradually pulled his squishy form closer to hers and wrapped one arm around his tubby, stuffed tummy and brought the other up to his face. She ran her thumb and fingers over each of his cheeks, squeezing the fat of them before scratching him under the chin, purring in delight from how soft they were. Her other hand continued to knead his calming stomach and guided his body into hers so his plush rear was pressed against her and his head rested on her broad shoulder. Soothed by her rhythmic stroking, he gradually fell asleep on top of her, his breathing growing slower and heavier. She grew drowsy herself and nodded off shortly after him, the gurgles of his belly vibrating against her fingers occasionally.

#pphfffics #flyingfatface #duchess of sutherland #duchess of hamilton

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champagnespankzandbacon · 6 years

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Sunday evening, and it seemed like a good idea…after at glass of rose’. “I’m going on a cleanse!”…I bellowed to my husband. He has been on a ‘eating healthier and working out more’ routine. He randomly drops to the floor and does sets of 40 push ups. He has also been knocking out more reading; which is NOT my thing. And he listens to a lot of Podcasts…which I do enjoy. But one of the books/podcasts he told me about was “Fit for Life”, in which the dude eats ONLY fruit until noon every day and has for 20 years! Twenty. Twenty years. If some dude can do it for twenty years, surely I can do it for a week!? Right? So, Monday morning…off to the grocery we went (before I changed my mind) and bought ALL of the veggies and fruits we could agree on, and some we didn’t…and coconut milk, coconut water, coconut blend. Here we GO! This blog will be a daily recap & proof of me not killing anyone due to lack of intake of pasta and champagne…. #pray #alliby

See…random push up sessions. Moe is NOT impressed.

Monday 4pm. Well, I kind of want a huge bowl of pasta and bacon right now. Really, it’s not too bad. Breakfast; I had a smoothie. Got the banana, strawberries and mango out and I was ready to go. Now, I have never cut a mango. And apparently there is a method and I didn’t do it right…so the little punk ended up butchered and in the trash. Fail #1. But I sure did enjoy my banana, strawberry and orange smoothie! Lunch was a tomato and avocado salad….if I closed my eyes, I almost fooled myself to think it was cake. #AtLeastIdidntCutMyself #damnMango #EveryoneISstillAlive

yes, I know this is a bit obsence. I have to entertain myself…

Tuesday Morning. I’m not “I need to eat a snickers hungry”…but I sure would like some bacon. Instead, I took my frustration out on a watermelon. I was not happy finding out that it was not seedless. But I guess that means it has not been genetically modified? Hell, I don’t know. I do know that it took me twice as long to cut it up and clear all the seeds out before storing it….that was fun. I better feel like Superwoman at the end of this week.

Tuesday Lunch. I just ate enough watermelon to sustain a small vegan army….or at least to make me pee every 20 minutes for the next several hours. Sidebar; I really need to wash my hair, but I am not mentally prepared to blow dry it. #ugh

Tuesday night. I broke. A soon as the hubby got home from work…”Open the liquor cabinet”. You see, we have it locked because we have two boys, and we aren’t stupid. But, I didn’t fall tooooo far off the ‘raw wagon’. In fact, it wasn’t even off the seat of the wagon! It was a 1/2 a shot of Tito’s (Gluten, fat, carb & sugar free), sparkling water and watermelon…and I do have to say it was quite tasty. Dinner wasn’t to yummy, I am not going to lie. I can’t even type it out…the poor hubby ate it with me. #blessHim

Gluten Free, Organic 🙂 and VERY refreshing!

Wednesday Morning….we are on the road to NOLA. (business dinner) But, I mean really? I have to do this in the BEST place to eat in the country? shit. But, no worries…this OCD chick already looked at the menu online and I know exactly what I’m going to order for dinner. Lunch consisted of sashimi & mineral water with lime at Tsunami’s…I can’t complain about that!!! And I got a compliment on my outfit as SOON as I walked in the door. That will put some wind in your ‘raw’ sails! #yaaasQueen

I am realizing that it is VERY hard to come to NOLA and be at our favorite hotel, even thought this trip is for business for the hubs, and NOT drink and eat my heart out. This is the ultimate test. I mean, that is what you do…when in Rome. At the current moment, I am trying to convince the hubs to stop working for 15 min and come downstairs with me to the Carousel Bar, sit in our favorite spot and people watch with me. #hesNotMoving #WorkWork #MayhaveToshowSomeCleveage #Kidding!

The hubs is on call after call for work… So I go downstairs to get inspired. Notice my ROAR organic drink in the corner of the pic? OMG…SO good! He is NOT moving from this spot anytime soon….he loves his job, thank goodness! #lovethatman

Now I’m sitting in a window seat…writing, watching. I LOVE people watching. And in NOLA there is a never-ending stream of entertainment. Locals, NOLA regulars, tourists, street performers, suits…and it was about 3ish and this is the time where the ‘day shift’ is heading out of the French Quarter and the ‘night shift’ is heading in. Oh…and of course, a bachelorette party. Complete with open toed high heels and headed straight for the street slime of Bourbon Street! Hep C here we come! Kidding…but for realz. Bless their little 24 yr old hearts. #NightTime #OnlyPediCab #orUberforMe #ILOVENolaButIDontlikeSlimeOnMyShoes

Thursday…I wake to the hubby typing away, getting ready for an early business breakfast. He hears me stirring and offers me a “hot tea”. HOT TEA? “I would like a coffee, please put me a k-cup to brew.” I am a coffee drinker. Even with this raw diet thing, coffee is a NON negotiable. First I drink the coffee then I do the things….and I am NOT very pleasant before coffee. The hubs looks at me with this cute grin and says “I drank both of the coffee cups…you can run one of the pods again…?.” (my eyes are about to pop out of my head). “No” I say in disgust, disappointment, “I will order room service and it will be here in 2 hours…” Good thing Monteleone room service has always been quick and within 20 min I had my coffee and fruit tray. Praise the coffee gods! In the hubs defense, he did offer to shower and go downstairs and get me a cup of coffee. But, in my coffee-less decision-making, I opted for room service. #ItwasAGoodChoice

Friday. Still eating fruit.

Saturday morning, I went to a local organic farmers market, Inglewood Farms, and stocked up on veggies, some chicken, eggs, even bacon! I picked up what I thought was squash & zucchini …turns out it was cucumbers. #fail #IDidntKnowThereWereYellowCucumbers? #farmersMarketGoober #IdespiseCucumbers

For lunch, we went to our usual Saturday lunch spot. Spirits food & friends in Alexandria, LA. It is a SUPER yummy restaurant and locally owned. If you are ever in Alex, stop in and eat/drink there. Really cool outdoor patio, pet friendly…if your dog is cool, LOL. Now, it is VERY hard to go here and not just chow down. But I was very good, had the Tuna Poke. Great as usual and I had only one champs cocktail, not as usual. I mean, I have been good for 6 days! My body is sooooo used to champs almost everyday. It was so good, not going to lie.

Sunday. Trip to Monroe for Fathers Day church and lunch for the hubs grandfather who is a young 94. Backing it up a few…while we are getting ready, I ask the hubs “Where are we going for lunch?” He tells me…they are just doing something easy and picking up pizza. (Well, that is just great. I am glad I asked! Men….) So, in a rush, I pack up my lunch; fruit, an avocado, etc. in my chilled bag and we get on the road. It was a lovely day and the hubs even stopped at a grocery before church and I picked up some fresh sushi…all was forgiven. (got rid of most of the rice)

Sunday night. Chicken Cordon Blue-ish was on the menu. Now I call it ‘ish’ because I adapted the recipe…on the fly. I hammered out the pasture raised, organic chicken breasts and stuffed with fresh, organic dino kale, that had been lightly sautéed in non-salted, organic butter and garlic. Then laid down Turkey slices and a small amount of shredded mozz cheese. (the only think that was not organic on this dish was the sliced turkey, mozz cheese and bread crumbs). Rolled each up and secured with toothpics…in the oven for 50 min at 350. In the meantime, I decided to try something I had NEVER done before. Now, I am a night owl, and my nighttime routine, after everyone else gets fed and to bed is a little TV time. I DVR my shows and BRAVO, HGTV and Food Network are the majority of the recordings. I have been on a “The Next Food Network Star” kick and recently they made hollandaise sauce from scratch and topped over a perfectly poached egg. Like old school way, in the pot, with vinegar, stirring and dropping in the egg… I AM ON IT! I can DO THIS! So out comes the organic eggs I just got the day before at the farmers market…and I am ready to make some sauce and poach some eggs!

HOLY MOLY…nothing will show you how OUT of shape you are in your forearms like whisking a hollandaise sauce for 5 minutes straight, then over the water for 15 seconds…then off…then more wisking… then adding components and wisking the whole time. I felt like a beast! Now on the poaching. Im not going to bore you with the details, but lets just say I may have missed my calling! My first three poached eggs were perfection. I placed them on top of the Cordon Blue-ish….and sweet mother of organics, it was heaven on a plate! I wish I would have videoed the moment we cut into the egg. I was really proud of myself! Here is the recipie for Gordon Ramseys Eggs Benedit..it has the poach & sauce directions. I encourage you to YouTube if you have never done it before. I didn’t use tarragon, and added more lemon juice…I like my sauce tangy.

Monday….I made it. One week of eating RAW. I weighed myself and I gained a lb. WHAT the heck? But I FEEL different, I am sleeping better, my clothes fit better. My IBS isn’t toooo much better, but that is a whole different issue. I didn’t do this to loose weight, although I can see it having that effect in the long run. I did this for health, to feel better.

So what did I learn and what will I do from this point on? I learned that I CAN do what I set my mind to do, no matter how difficult it may seem at first. I thought…No Champagne for a week? RAW for a week? WHAT?? It is one day at a time, one meal at a time, one choice at a time. I will continue with the fruit until noon, occasional splurges, I’m sure. (#brunch) I will READ labels more. We put CRAP in our bodies and in our kids bodies. Stop that shit! I will use organic more…and we used organic a lot, but I can do better for me and my family. If only there was organic champagne…

You, me, we…WE CAN do what we set our minds and bodies to do. Are you scared to challenge yourself? To try something new? Whatever you are finding yourself up against…just try it. What is the worst that could happen? You could fail, yes. So what! Who freaking cares. You could also totally win and rock it! And friends, it is so worth trying.

Much Love

My “Raw” Week Sunday evening, and it seemed like a good idea...after at glass of rose'. "I'm going on a cleanse!"...I bellowed to my husband.

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watsonrodriquezie · 6 years

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Goodies Against the Grain: Sadie’s Story (and 2 Amazing Recipes) + IG Giveaway

Today’s guest post is offered up by Sadie Radinsky, whom I had the pleasure of chatting with on a recent episode of her podcast, Jump For Joy. I think you’re going to love her story and be inspired by her success—in reclaiming her health and in following her passion. And the recipes she’s serving up? Grok never had it so good. Just in time for Valentine’s Day. Enjoy, everyone! And be sure to check out the giveaway at the end.

Hi, Mark’s Daily Apple! I’m Sadie, a 16-year-old food blogger, Paleo dessert chef and writer. I am so excited to share my health journey with you today, as well as two scrumptious Valentine’s Day treat recipes.

A little background about me: I grew up a vegetarian, with a diet that consisted mainly of whole grain products, beans, veggies, fruit, and the occasional fish. All of this would soon change because at the age of nine, I had to miss six months of school due to health issues. Every day I would wake up with intense stomach pain, fatigue and nausea. Most days it was hard to get out of bed. Pretty fun, right?

My parents knew something was wrong, but they just didn’t know what. My mom took me to countless Eastern and Western doctors, and still… no diagnosis. One day, she had the brilliant idea that I should go gluten-free for a little while and see how it made me feel.

Two months later, I was completely healed.

Food has an immense power on our bodies. As a nine-year-old, it was empowering to see how changing my diet made me a healthy and happy person, free from pain. Oh, but the change did not stop there!

When my family stayed at a farm in Vermont that summer, I tried beef for my first time. This was beef from cattle who had spent their days munching on green grass pastures at the farm. It was then my family realized we could eat meat while still upholding our belief that animals should be raised humanely, in good conditions. Plus, our meal options were rapidly decreasing as gluten-free vegetarians, and my mom needed some darn food to put on the dinner table!

However, there was still a problem: I loved baked goods, but all the gluten-free treats in stores were overly processed and dry. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands! I began making gluten-free dessert recipes that I found online. I soon stumbled upon a Paleo recipe for Sugar Cookies, and I was enthralled; the cookies used nutrient-dense ingredients like coconut and almond. I realized this Paleo diet was the same thing my dad had been so excited about recently! Eventually, I began concocting my own recipes. This led to the creation of my Paleo dessert blog, Goodies Against The Grain, when I was twelve.

Soon, it was not only treats. My family began eating almost completely Paleo, save for some occasional grass-fed butter and cheese. We all felt amazing! Any bellyaches I used to get from rice and corn went completely away.

Now I am an avid runner and yogi with loads of energy and not a stomach ache in sight! Going Paleo truly changed my life.

Along with creating Paleo treats for my blog, I have written articles about teen empowerment and food for Justine, Shape, and Paleo Magazine. I am now writing a healthy lifestyle cookbook for teens (coming soon!). You can also listen to my podcast, Jump For Joy, and the episode I recorded with Mark here. Make sure to follow @goodiesagainstthegrain for more healthy recipes and lifestyle tips!

Oh, one last thing: always remember to treat yourself (literally). I believe you should never deprive yourself of fun desserts just because you’re on a gluten-free, Paleo or Keto diet. That’s why I’ve created some DELICIOUS, chocolaty, healthy recipes for you today! Let’s get into those now…

Red Velvet Raspberry Fudge Bombs

They’re rich, fudgy, raspberry-y and just about the best thing ever. They have a few secret ingredients that you’d be surprised of: avocado and Chocolate Collagen Fuel. Yup, that’s right! These truffles get their smooth texture from avocados, and an extra boost of protein from the collagen. So basically, by eating these treats, you’re making yourself a healthier person! The white chocolate drizzle is totally optional, but I think it adds a romantic flare and amazing flavor.

Makes 12

Ingredients

Fudge:

¾ cup avocado meat (approx. 1½ avocados)

1 cup raw cashews

3 scoops Chocolate Collagen Fuel (or other favorite protein powder)

1 Tablespoon melted coconut oil

2 Tablespoons cacao powder

3½ Tablespoons freeze-dried raspberry powder (see below)*

3 teaspoons granulated monk fruit sweetener**

Coating:

5 Tablespoons freeze-dried raspberry powder*

Drizzle (optional):

¼ cup finely chopped raw cacao butter

3 Tablespoons full-fat coconut milk

1 Tablespoons coconut oil

½ teaspoon granulated monk fruit sweetener**

Directions

1. Using a food processor or high-speed blender, pulse the cashews and coconut oil until smooth. Blend in all the other fudge ingredients until creamy. 2. Scoop mixture into a bowl and freeze for 30 minutes. 3. Meanwhile, for some extra flare, make the drizzle: melt the drizzle ingredients together in a small saucepan over low heat until they’re all combined and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool for at least 10 minutes. 4. Scoop the chilled fudge dough into 12 balls. Roll in the raspberry powder coating and place on a plate. Drizzle the white chocolate coating on top, then serve. 5. Store leftover fudge bombs in the freezer and defrost for 5 minutes before eating.

Notes: *To make raspberry powder, smash the contents of two small bags of freeze-dried raspberries using a mortar + pestle or spice grinder. I used two 1.2 oz bags of freeze-dried raspberries from Trader Joe’s. Then, push the powder through a fine mesh sieve to remove the seeds. Now, measure the powder for the recipe. **You could also sub maple sugar here, but I cannot guarantee results will be the exact same.

Mini Chocolate Bundt Cakes

Don’t you wish you could enjoy a special Valentine’s day bundt cake while still sticking to your Keto or Paleo diet? Oh, wait… you can! These legit cakes are sweetened with monk fruit, so they don’t have any sugar. Plus, they use avocado oil as a fat, so you’re simultaneously eating chocolate cake while boosting every cell is your body. Pretty rad, if may say so myself! The texture is exactly that of a traditional chocolate cake, so I’m sure you will adore it.

Yields 6 mini bundt cakes (which are quite larger than a normal cupcake).

Ingredients

Wet:

1/3 cup dark chocolate, chopped

4 large eggs

1/3 cup + 2 Tablespoons almond milk

¼ cup + 1 Tablespoon avocado oil (or sub melted butter), plus more for greasing

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dry:

1½ cups blanched almond flour

3 Tablespoons tapioca starch

2 Tablespoons coconut flour

6 Tablespoons granulated monk fruit sweetener**

¼ cup cacao powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

¼ teaspoon sea salt

Directions

1. Preheat your oven to 350° F. Use avocado oil to grease a mini bundt pan (mine had 6 wells) or a muffin tin. 2. Using a double boiler or a small saucepan on low heat, melt the chocolate, then let it cool for 10 minutes. 3. In a stand mixer or using handheld mixer, whisk together the eggs until frothy. Add in the other wet ingredients and mix until smooth. 4. In a separate large bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. Slowly, whisk the dry into the wet and stir until smooth. 5. Pour the batter evenly into the bundt pan wells. Bake for 20 minutes. Then, let them cool for 30 minutes before flipping the pan over to remove the cakes.

Note: **You could probably substitute coconut sugar here for a non-Keto version, but I haven’t tested it yet.

Now for the Giveaway…

Follow @goodiesagainstthegrain and @marksdailyapple on Instagram. Then comment on my Instagram post with Sadie to share your favorite paleofied treat for a chance to win my entire line of PRIMAL KITCHEN® collagen protein products (U.S. and Canada only). For additional entries, tag friends on Instagram. The winner will be announced February 19th at 10 a.m. PST. Good luck!

Want more Primal recipes? Try the Primal Blueprint Slow Cooker Cookbook for free here.

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cristinajourdanqp · 6 years

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Goodies Against the Grain: Sadie’s Story (and 2 Amazing Recipes) + IG Giveaway

Two months later, I was completely healed.

Food has an immense power on our bodies. As a nine-year-old, it was empowering to see how changing my diet made me a healthy and happy person, free from pain. Oh, but the change did not stop there!

Now I am an avid runner and yogi with loads of energy and not a stomach ache in sight! Going Paleo truly changed my life.

Red Velvet Raspberry Fudge Bombs

Makes 12

Ingredients

Fudge:

¾ cup avocado meat (approx. 1½ avocados)

1 cup raw cashews

3 scoops Chocolate Collagen Fuel (or other favorite protein powder)

1 Tablespoon melted coconut oil

2 Tablespoons cacao powder

3½ Tablespoons freeze-dried raspberry powder (see below)*

3 teaspoons granulated monk fruit sweetener**

Coating:

5 Tablespoons freeze-dried raspberry powder*

Drizzle (optional):

¼ cup finely chopped raw cacao butter

3 Tablespoons full-fat coconut milk

1 Tablespoons coconut oil

½ teaspoon granulated monk fruit sweetener**

Directions

Mini Chocolate Bundt Cakes

Yields 6 mini bundt cakes (which are quite larger than a normal cupcake).

Ingredients

Wet:

1/3 cup dark chocolate, chopped

4 large eggs

1/3 cup + 2 Tablespoons almond milk

¼ cup + 1 Tablespoon avocado oil (or sub melted butter), plus more for greasing

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dry:

1½ cups blanched almond flour

3 Tablespoons tapioca starch

2 Tablespoons coconut flour

6 Tablespoons granulated monk fruit sweetener**

¼ cup cacao powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

¼ teaspoon sea salt

Directions

Note: **You could probably substitute coconut sugar here for a non-Keto version, but I haven’t tested it yet.

Now for the Giveaway…

Want more Primal recipes? Try the Primal Blueprint Slow Cooker Cookbook for free here.

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vincentpennington · 7 years

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Wonton Meatballs

These Wonton Meatballs turned out amazing, but who knew this recipe would cause me so much grief?

With our second cookbook, Ready or Not!, off to the printer at last (after four years of work!), we immediately got to work designing a 16-month 2018 Nom Nom Paleo wall calendar with stickers covering September 2017 to December 2018. (Yes, really—our wall calendar is shipping in July, and it’s stuffed with recipes, cartoons, and encouragement! You can get a sneak peek and pre-order here.)

Now, with the calendar ready to go—not to mention our brand-new site redesign—I can finally throw myself back into creating new recipes for my blog and app again. Wahoo!

To start with, I decided to tackle a Chinese-inspired recipe that’s long been on my to-do list: Wonton Meatballs.

When I develop recipes, I like to begin by whipping up an experimental batch for dinner, and then feeding the results to my guinea pigs (a.k.a. husband and children). Rarely does my first try hit the mark, but lo and behold, these meatballs were an instant success. They reminded me of my mom’s pork and shrimp wonton filling, and I was pleased as punch that everyone else loved them, too. Even Ollie, the pickiest one in the family, gave this recipe his enthusiastic seal of approval. (In other words, he finished his dinner in minutes rather than hours.)

My loyal Nomsters on Instagram seemed to dig the look of these Wonton Meatballs, too. I posted a peek at the tasty meatballs on my feed to announce that a new recipe was on the way, and received plenty of encouragement for me to get this dish on our newly-updated site pronto.

No problem, I thought. I was feeling pretty smug. My first attempt was already 95% of the way there; I figured I’d add a bit of fresh ginger to the recipe, and maybe form slightly larger balls, but I had all weekend to polish the recipe.

But my hubris quickly changed to puzzlement the next morning when I made a second batch of meatballs.

They looked fine—every bit as pretty as the ones I’d made the previous night—but when I bit into a meatball, it disintegrated in my mouth. The wonderfully umami-rich flavors were the same, but the texture of the meat was powdery and off-putting and all-around gross. Was it me? I fed some meatballs to my unsuspecting family taste-testers, and they nearly spat them out. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR MEATBALLS?” they demanded.

I had no idea.

Dejected, I made tray after tray of Wonton Meatballs all weekend long, modifying different factors to try to recreate the texture of the original. Was it the fat content of the meat? Did I work the mixture too much? I chopped the prawns more coarsely in one batch, barely mixed the meat in another attempt, used chilled pork and shrimp in the third batch, and added a binding agent to the fourth one. Nothing worked, though Henry and I forced ourselves to eat EVERY MEALY MEATBALL I MADE, because we don’t waste food around here. The kids, on the other hand, had no qualms about wasting these meatballs.

Wracked with self-doubt, I started having nightmares about my powdery pork predicament. The flavor profile remained fantastic, but the texture was so off-putting and so different from the original batch that I knew something was terribly wrong. Did I just imagine that the first meatball was delicious? Had I lost my cooking mojo completely?

After wracking my brain to remember what I did differently the first time around, I realized that I’d only made one modification to the ingredients after the initial batch: I’d added freshly minced ginger. But that couldn’t have been the culprit, right?

WRONG. It was the fresh ginger that made my meatballs mealy! After a quick Google search and a scan of my Cook’s Science book, I learned that—similar to pineapple—fresh ginger contains a powerful enzyme called zingibain that breaks down protein. The grated ginger I’d added to my meatball mixture was breaking down the collagen in my pork, literally turning it into mush. (By the way, my fellow science nerds, his only happens with fresh ginger. It turns out the enzyme is inactivated when the ginger is cooked, dried, or countered with acid like vinegar or citrus.)

Armed with this knowledge, I made a fifth batch of Wonton Meatballs—this time sans fresh ginger. And as soon as I bit into a hot meatball, I did a celebratory dance. The bouncy, springy texture was back! And that’s how Nom Nom got her groove back.

The moral of the story? In the immortal words of Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER.

So, without further ado, I present to you a batch of thoroughly tested Wonton Meatballs! (Psst! With the new blog redesign, there’s now a printer-friendly recipe card at the end of the post!)

Serves 4

Ingredients:

¼ ounce dried shiitake mushrooms, soaked in water for at least 30 minutes

½ pound shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 pound ground pork

2 scallions, finely chopped

¼ cup cilantro, minced

1 tablespoon coconut aminos

½ teaspoon Diamond Crystal brand kosher salt

½ teaspoon fish sauce

¼ teaspoon ground white pepper

¼ teaspoon sesame oil

Ghee or cooking fat of choice

1 scallion, sliced on the bias (optional garnish)

Sriracha (optional)

Equipment:

Small bowl

Large bowl

Chef’s knife

Cutting board

Scraper

Measuring spoons

Measuring cups

Small frying pan

Silicone spatula

Large cookie scoop (a.k.a. #20 disher)

Rimmed baking sheet

Parchment paper

Method:

Check that your dried ’shrooms are hydrated. I like to throw a bunch of dried mushrooms into a bowl of water in the morning so they’ll be ready by the time I make dinner. When you’re ready to cook, preheat the oven to 400°F, and squeeze the water out of the shiitake mushrooms. Cut off the hard stems, and finely mince them.

Finely chop the shrimp until you’ve got a chunky paste.

Transfer the chopped shrimp to a large bowl and add the pork…

…mushrooms, scallions, cilantro…

…coconut aminos, salt, fish sauce, white pepper, and sesame oil.

Use your hands to squeeze and mix the meatball mixture until a sticky and tacky mass is formed. I know that most meatball recipes warn against over-mixing the ingredients lest the balls turn tough, but this is the method my mama uses to make her deliciously springy shrimp and pork cakes. She swears it’s the secret to the bouncy texture, and she’s also the best home cook I know, so I’m gonna follow her advice.

Heat up a small frying pan over medium heat and add a little cooking fat. When the pan is sizzling hot, form a little patty and cook it in the pan. Taste it and see if the seasoning is right. Adjust with additional salt if needed. (Not ready to cook just yet? You can keep the meatball mixture in the fridge for up to 12 hours.)

Form the mixture into 1½-inch balls. I like to scoop the balls out with a #20 disher, which holds 3 tablespoons. Roll the mixture into round balls…

…and arrange on a parchment-lined rimmed baking sheet. You should end up with about a dozen balls.

Bake the meatballs in the oven for 15-20 minutes…

…or until cooked through.

Top with scallions and serve immediately. These savory Wonton Meatballs are incredibly flavorful on their own, but if you insist on eating ’em with some kind of sauce, add a squirt of my Whole30 Sriracha.

Leftovers can be stored in a sealed container in the fridge for up to 4 days and frozen for up to 3 months. I like to reheat my meatballs by cutting them into thick slices and pan-frying them until crispy on the outside.

If you wanna make a bunch of Wonton Sliders instead, smush the balls into ½-inch patties and fry in a greased pan over medium heat, about 2 minutes on each side. Serve immediately with a squeeze of sriracha.

Lesson learned: Recipe testing can be a chore, but it’s a necessary one, and the results are gratifyingly delicious!

Looking for more recipe ideas? Head on over to my Recipe Index. You’ll also find exclusive recipes on my iPhone and iPad app, and in my cookbooks, Nom Nom Paleo: Food for Humans (Andrews McMeel Publishing 2013) and Ready or Not! (Andrews McMeel Publishing 2017)

PRINTER-FRIENDLY RECIPE CARD

Wonton Meatballs

Prep 10 mins

Cook 20 mins

Inactive 30 mins

Total 60 mins

Author Michelle Tam

Yield 4 servings

Ingredients

¼ ounce dried shiitake mushrooms, soaked in water for at least 30 minutes

½ pound shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 pound ground pork

2 scallions, finely chopped

¼ cup cilantro, minced

1 tablespoon coconut aminos

½ teaspoon Diamond Crystal brand kosher salt

½ teaspoon fish sauce

¼ teaspoon ground white pepper

¼ teaspoon sesame oil

Ghee or cooking fat of choice

1 scallion, sliced on the bias (optional garnish)

Sriracha (optional)

Instructions

Check that your dried ’shrooms are hydrated. I throw the dried mushrooms in a bowl of water in the morning so they’ll be ready by the time I make dinner.

Preheat the oven to 400°F, and squeeze the water out of the shiitake mushrooms. Cut off the hard stems, and finely mince them.

Finely chop the shrimp until you’ve got a chunky paste.

Place the shrimp in a large bowl and add the pork, mushrooms, scallions, cilantro, coconut aminos, salt, fish sauce, white pepper, and sesame oil.

Use your hands to squeeze and mix the meatball mixture until a sticky and tacky mass is formed.

Heat up a small frying pan over medium heat and add a little cooking fat. When the pan is hot, form a little patty and cook it in the pan. Taste it and see if the seasoning is right. Adjust with additional salt if needed. (Not cooking yet? You can store the meatball mixture in the fridge for up to 12 hours.)

Form the mixture into 1½-inch balls. I like to scoop the balls out with a #20 disher, which holds 3 tablespoons. Roll the mixture into round balls and arrange on a parchment-lined rimmed baking sheet. You should end up with about a dozen balls.

Bake the meatballs in the oven for 15-20 minutes or until cooked through.

If you wanna make a bunch Wonton Sliders instead, smush the balls into ½-inch patties and fry in a greased pan over medium heat, about 2 minutes on each side. Serve immediately with a squeeze of sriracha!

Leftovers can be stored in the fridge for up to 4 days and frozen for up to 3 months. I like to reheat my meatballs by cutting them into thick slices and pan-frying them until crispy on the outside.

Cuisine Chinese

The post Wonton Meatballs appeared first on Nom Nom Paleo®.

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briarofthebush · 7 years

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I’m in my favourite place for a casual coffee and snack in my local area. I live in a pretty commercial corner of the town, which boasts about 5 Starbucks and one cosy café, one old-school diner, several other franchised café/eateries such as ‘Chipotle’, ‘Panda Express’, ‘Red Robin’ and ‘Subway’ just to name a few. When I can, I love an excuse to take me out of this highly commercial area so I can enjoy a good coffee, and a good vibe in an independent business. My local café is often too dark, the food is pretty ordinary, and the noise unworkable. There is no nice vibe, in fact it feels hostile at times.

Here, where I am this morning, up the road a bit, away from the shopping district, there is the smell of coffee and good, smoky bacon. There are always a lot of relaxed people around, many in my own demographic, as well as younger and older. Lots of dog owners (though they keep dogs outside). People play with their kids (or ignore them) on a big rug at the back. Many people have become familiar faces to me. There is light. The coffee is excellent. The food is usually delicious. They make coconut bread and a maple and bacon muffin which is awesome. I meet here to ‘write’ every Friday morning, though sometimes it’s purely a social gathering. Oh, and they know my name now, when I order stuff!

This place sits up on Roosevelt Rd, along with a few pubs and another couple of restaurants, amongst other small businesses in Mapleleaf. I love this part of town. It is a very steep 15 minute walk up through the suburb from my place, or it’s a short bus ride.

I can get a really good fresh croissant here, or a breakfast sandwich on an English muffin or a Bagel. There are lots of cakes and quiches to choose from. There is a range of great looking sandwiches that they will make fresh, including the BBQ pork, the Cuban, Turkey, cream cheese and cranberry, Tuna salad, Mediterranean roasted veges, (though I’ve yet to try one). I often get a croissant with ham and cheddar, which is chockers with good ham, unlike in Australia, where the meat portion on a sandwich is distinctly light-on. (I really think there is no excuse for skimping on the meat in a sandwich, because they are incredibly expensive, for that tiny sliver of turkey or beef or pork they give you at home.) Let the Americans take credit for knowing how to put together a good sandwich.

Although don’t get me started on the bread. AS we speak, I am stocking up on par-baked and bakery reads in my freezer, because there is no such thing as a corner bakery for miles or a milk bar where can grab a loaf on my way home from places, and I live a good walk from the supermarket. I have tried several of the packaged brands of bread, the white, the whole-wheat, the grainy, and they all stick to the roof of our mouths. They have so much sugar in them. They feel wrong, they taste wrong. Only the Italian style or Sour dough breads are less sugary. The good bakery breads are excellent, but as I said, I have to get to a supermarket that is out of my way when I’m in transit, so I make special ‘bread shopping’ trips to stock up. If I had a bigger kitchen, I would make my own.

I love to buy a sandwich at QFC, an upmarket grocery where I can also get a hot sandwich from the deli counter on my way out, and savour it’s deliciousness on the way home as a reward for walking up to the supermarket along the noisy, smelly road. They give them names like ‘The Rainier’ or ‘The Snohomish’, and pack them full of really nice cheese, pestos, relishes, mustards and Boars Head Cured meats. I always feel like a bit of criminal for ordering one, but it is so worth it to get one. And always get it cut in half so it can be stretched to 2 meals, or shared. One day Johnny and I greedily thought we could eat more than a ½ roll each, and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich as well to share on our way home. We were really hungry and it was a very cold and grey day. We walked past the old homeless guy on his wheelie-walker on our way in, and the minute we saw him again on our way out we knew we had to give the grilled cheese to him. I will one day be greedy enough to order one for myself.

These are but a few memorable foody experiences I have had here in Seattle, in USA generally. I wish I could say I’ve had many more, but I really did know what I was in for, moving here. I knew it could be a challenge, to be able to eat what I was used to here. I knew the food would, at the very least, look different, and possibly taste differently. I have been really fortunate to fall in with foody types, who have travelled, and have shaken loose their need to have every little thing BBQed, covered in buffalo sauce and bleu cheese and other indiscriminate flavourings, or in a burger… people who ‘get’ food, and care where it comes from, and that it is different the world over. We’ve been taken to a place that does oysters and raw food, which is possibly the best place in town, we’ve had amazingly cooked Central American food at a gaudy old garage painted up to be a festive cantina- served Mojitos with plantain chips and moles to die for. We’ve had beautifully cooked Bistec et frites in a French restaurant, crab dips, lobster rolls, Aussie style pies, authentic Mexican food, Indian food, Korean banquet, Yum Cha and Southern style food truck delights. We had Caribbean style jerk cooked food in beautiful sandwiches, in another converted garage. (This up-cycling of mechanic workshops into restaurants is to be commended). We were fed a delicious crab and lobster filled ravioli- lasagne at Christmas. We have had fresh filled dumplings cooked for us, pork ribs and roasted chickens and lamb chops cooked for us by our friends in their homes. Beautiful, fresh and nutritious food.

We’ve have tried Southern fried chicken in a few places, and I can’t fault it anywhere. It is always delicious. All I know is, I should never really have it.

All the same, as much as Seattle is fast becoming a foody destination, (according to word on the ‘street’), the idea where a café is a more casual place where there is restaurant style great food available has not quite caught on. Not in the suburbs, at least. People still expect and receive the over-sized sandwiches, huge plates of diced potato and bacon with everything, hot or BBQ sauce with everything, and there seems to be an expectation for people’s plates to be loaded up with no space left. Loaded up to the roof in some cases. Lunch is often a 3 courses on an order affair, with soup, salad, chips to go with your sandwich, panini, burger or bagel. You feel weird just ordering a sandwich. But I quite like the ½ sandwich +soup options in some places. (You don’t have to be a pig). You are often expected to order at the counter and bus your own dishes. As nice as the staff are at the counter, they don’t often clean up after you. Everyone knows where to put their dirty dishes. Salads are often very much a chopped up bowl of everything in a bowl. I have seen maybe two carefully arranged salads on a plate in 20 months.

Breakfast, on the other hand, is a FULL plate of stuff, and often a pancake to go with it. The American breakfast is seemingly a tradition that will never budge, especially since people in the west will now eat biscuits and gravy, fried chicken and waffles, and even pulled meat on their eggs Bene, (which often is smothered in béchamel and not hollandaise). The Avocado Smash phenomenon and the Shakshuka are happening, but only in those very trendy cafes where people line up out the door, such as you see on Portlandia. The best option if you don’t want to walk out feeling like you’ve done something really dirty and need to go and take a long shower and hit the gym all afternoon, is to have a breakfast bagel or croissant. Which is what I do here quite often. They don’t actually do big plates of food here, just sandwiches, quiches and cakes. Beautiful cakes, wholesome and generously full of fruit or nuts. Their coconut bread is to die for.

Today I am going to do something different for me, and order pie (fruit, probably berry), only I didn’t see any pies in the display case at the counter. But I do know that, unlike at home where you feel very strange and humiliated to ask for things you cannot see, I know I can ask here and they will probably want to give me along and well explained story about the display case being broken or the pie oven being broken or the berry supplier being on strike. And then we’ll probably get talking about my accent and about someone’s sister who went to Adelaide or somewhere. It will be pleasant and not humiliating. And then I’ll order something else.

When I leave here I will probably hit QFC and grab some good bread and maybe even a sandwich for Johnny and I to share for lunch. If we go to the pub later it will mean a fairly naughty food option. Happy Hour Food is often quite calorie heavy. Cheese balls, Fried curds with a delicious raspberry sauce, Fries, pulled pork potato skins, pizettes, nachos, burgers, sliders, buffalo wings are some of the things you might find on the menu. One of our 2 locals has much more fresh fare, (woodfired pizzas and salads for example) and the other has much more traditionally prepared, aka fried food. Unfortunately the one with the cheap Mug Club beer is the one with all the greasy options. My favourite item on their menu is a raw tuna Poke ‘nachos’ on fried wonton skins, with mashed avocado, jalapeno slices, spring onion and a teriyaki dressing. It is really delicious, but doesn’t seem to line my stomach for the ensuing pints of beer well enough, unfortunately. It has taken months of experimentation to figure out the best ‘drink friendly’ foods to begin a night on, and to work out that a starter snack of something small but stodgy then another later on after a couple of drinks, then maybe a THIRD night cap (small) supper is possibly the best way for me to cope with 3-4 (or more) pints. It can get pretty washing machine-like in my tum at times.

(I’d better poke in a disclaimer here: while I am not on a strict calorie controlled diet, I am actively trying to NOT put on MORE weight before I return home to the land of salad days). A heavy meal when drinking is just stupid. Dessert is ridiculous. No-one needs that much food! Well I don’t. I don’t move enough. And then, if brunch is on for the next day, well that is just really asking for more lard to deposit itself on my rear…

I’ve actually decided against the pie. The shared monster sandwich Johnny and I will have will be quite enough food for the rest of the day.

Until ‘happy hour’.

Take Me Home, Country Loaf I’m in my favourite place for a casual coffee and snack in my local area. I live in a pretty commercial corner of the town, which boasts about 5 Starbucks and one cosy café, one old-school diner, several other franchised café/eateries such as ‘Chipotle’, ‘Panda Express’, ‘Red Robin’ and ‘Subway’ just to name a few.

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