#i also assumed that you meant jensen as the person who left because of all of the boys stuff happening now but sorry if i assumed wrong | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

By My Side (Part 1)

Summary: While at home one night, the reader, an actress, is almost kidnapped and at her friend’s suggestion she hires Jensen as her bodyguard. While the pair doesn’t get along, an incident at the reader’s new home leads her and Jensen to taking a drastic measure...

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 3,900ish

Warnings: language, minor injury, attempted kidnapping, drugging

A/N: There will be no taglist for this series. Please check out the masterlist for posting dates/times. Enjoy!

_________

“Get the fuck off!” you said, kneeing the man that was halfway through dragging you down your stairs. You threw a punch and a kick, swinging more than a few times before the grip on you fell away and you booked it for the front door. You sprinted outside and down the driveway, dashing across the street and banging on your neighbor’s door.

A light came on and you glanced over your shoulder, spotting the guy dressed in black and wearing a mask jog to the end of your driveway.

“Shit, shit,” you said, a strong arm grabbing you and yanking you inside before you could even turn back around. The door slammed shut after you and you took a deep breath, your neighbor standing there in his boxers, saying something to his wife in the background.

“Y/N, are you okay?” said Jared. You straightened up and nodded, his eyes going wide.

“Gen! Tell them she needs an ambulance too,” he said.

“I’m fine,” you said as he walked you to his kitchen and sat you down at the counter. Gen was in there, on the phone with the police it sounded like, as Jared went to a cupboard. He pulled out a red bag and then was walking back over with a wad of bandages, holding it up to your forehead. “I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” he said. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” you said, pressing your hand to your head, seeing the half secured zip tie stuck on your other wrist. There were sirens in the distance and you shut your eyes.

“Hey, no sleeping. You might have a concussion,” he said.

“I’m not sleeping,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay,” he said, the sirens getting louder before there were flashing lights in the window. Gen walked over to the front door, letting the police in. About four officers came inside, one of them immediately coming over to you.

“What’d he look like? How many?” he asked.

“Uh, all in black, with a mask. He was white I think from what I could tell. Maybe six foot, average build, strong. It was just the one as far as I know. Last I saw him he was at the end of the driveway before my neighbor let me in his house,” you said.

“You two, call it in for backup and start looking. Jones, get a full statement from these three. Start with the vic. Medics will want to look at that head,” he said. “Which house is yours?”

“Right across the street. Red front door,” you said. He left and the other cop in there pulled out a plastic bag from his back pocket.

“I need to cut that off for evidence,” he said, glancing at your wrist.

“Should we do anything?” asked Jared as the cop made a cut and bagged the plastic tie.

“I would keep pressure on that wound for the moment,” he said, writing on the bag and taking out a notepad and pen. “Alright. Let’s start from the beginning.”

“I was asleep less than ten minutes ago in my bed and I woke up to someone touching my arm and I found that tie thing on me and the guy tried grabbing my other arm but I rolled away. I got caught up in the covers while I was running away so he caught up to me in the hall outside my bedroom and I just started hitting what I could and then he tried to pull me downstairs and I hit him some more and then he let go and I ran over here.”

“How’d you sustain the head injury?” he asked.

“Well he was hitting me too when I started fighting back,” you said. “I was half-awake.”

“Okay. Sir, I’m going to need to ask you a few questions now.”

Three Hours Later

“Hey,” said Jared, setting a cup of tea down at his breakfast table. He rubbed your back and you sighed. “Rough night huh?”

“At least I don’t have a concussion,” you said, touching your butterfly bandages on your head.

“Police said your alarm wasn’t on.”

“So this is my fault?” you asked.

“No, I didn’t say that. I am saying that you and Gen have a very popular show together and if she didn’t have me around, I’d want her to have a bodyguard, maybe even full time,” he said.

“I have had this conversation with my manager multiple times. I’m not getting a bodyguard. For events and conventions, fine, I’ll have one. At work? In my life? No way,” you said.

“Y/N, you know I used to be in the army. Then I was a cop. Then I was on a SWAT team before I retired to become a stay at home dad,” he said.

“Yes. You’re an adorable scary badass. What’s your point?” you asked.

“When I worked SWAT, I worked a a few kidnapping cases. The honest truth is sometimes we don’t find you until it’s too late or we never do. It’s not like a movie. It’s not like your guys show and someone swoops in. No one shows up out of the blue to save you. You save yourself or you don’t get saved. Rarely do we get you out of that situation.”

“Again, what’s your point?”

“My point is whoever that person was, when they come back because they will come back, Y/N, and when they do, they’re not going to be that sloppy. They may drug you. They may knock you out. They could do a number of things but your chances of getting way again would be extraordinary. I love ya and I’ll always protect you. But next time, I might not be able to stop something bad from happening. You alone over there...I wouldn’t know until it’s too late.”

You were quiet, playing with the tea bag in your drink as he drank from his own mug.

“I don’t want a stranger coming into my home,” you said.

“Y/N, Gen and I want you to stay here for as long as you-”

“I meant a bodyguard, Jare. I don’t want somebody I don’t know to start coming into my life and controlling it.”

“I have a friend from my army days who does that kind of work. He’s between jobs at the moment. I’ll vouch for him,” he said.

“You’re not gonna give me a choice on this, are you,” you said.

“Gen and I are moving. A bigger place,” he said. “We think it’s a good idea if you had a change of scenery too.”

“You think she’s in danger too?”

“We don’t know but she’s five months pregnant. We don’t want to risk anything,” he said. “It’s just a thought.”

“Can...can I stay over here a few days? While I figure out what I want to do?” you asked.

“Yeah, of course, Y/N.”

Two Weeks Later

“I like the new place,” said Jared as he helped you carry in the last box.

“It’s uh, a bit big,” you said. “But the owner wanted to sell fast and I wanted out of the other one fast so it worked out.”

“Seems like a lot of space for one person,” said the man walking in through the open front door. He was in a pair of dark jeans and a blazer, a tee shirt underneath. You stepped behind Jared but he chuckled. “Really Jare? Didn’t mention I’d be stopping by?”

“Y/N, this is my friend Jensen. I told you about him. You said you were interested in meeting him,” said Jared.

“Ms. Y/L/N,” said Jensen, holding out a hand.

“Y/N please,” you said as you shook it.

“I prefer to keep things professional,” said Jensen. “It’s easier that way. So, this is the new place, hm? Which room will be mine?”

“There’s a guest suite over on the first floor you can use,” you said.

“Where’s the master?”

“Upstairs.”

“Preferably I’d like to be in a room closer to yours,” he said.

“Fine. Take the guest room upstairs,” you said. “This is just a test run remember.”

“My contract says this is a six month test run,” he said as he looked around. “I see you’re still moving in so perhaps we can go over some of our new procedures in the morning.”

“Sure,” you said.

“I’ll move in my belongings then,” he said. “I don’t have much.”

“Mhm,” you said. He nodded and headed back outside, Jared catching the look you gave him.

“What?” he asked.

“He’s gonna be a joy to live with,” you muttered.

“He’s quiet until you get to know him. I wouldn’t have recommended him if I didn’t trust him. He’s saved my life before. I know he’ll have your back,” said Jared.

“Yeah,” you said, his phone going off. “Jared, go. I know you’re already late for the baby checkup.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I only have boxes left to unpack anyways. Go on. I’ll talk to you guys later,” you said. He gave you a wave on the way out, leaving you to stare at the pile of boxes sitting on your kitchen floor. You cracked your back and started to work, catching Jensen move in a few duffel bags of his own. He left and wandered around outside eventually, allowing you to try and get the essentials all stored away.

By the time it was seven, you were exhausted but your bedroom, bathroom and kitchen were all set up. You plopped down on the couch, closing your eyes. They blinked open when you felt a presence standing over you.

“I’ve done a review of the property. I’d like to have an upgraded security system installed tomorrow,” he said.

“Whatever. Just put it on the card my manager gave you,” you said.

“I’d also like to consider hiring an additional person to monitor the system at some point. They can be remotely based,” he said.

“Like I said, whatever,” you said, closing your eyes again.

“I assume I have access to use the kitchen as I desire,” he said.

“No smoking. No drugs. No random hookups you bring here and as long as you don’t bug me and stay away from my ice cream, we’ll be fine,” you said.

“I can agree to that. As long as you follow my rules, we’ll also be fine,” he said. You laughed and sat up, walking to the kitchen to find your phone. “Do you think that’s funny?”

“I think the fact you think you’re going to be making rules in my home that I paid for is very funny,” you said. You took the phone to check on the pizza and wings you ordered for yourself, Jensen walking over and stopping in front of you. “Can I help you?”

“You are paying me a very large sum of money to keep you safe. If you don’t listen to what I say then I can’t guarantee your safety,” he said.

“Let me get something clear. I’m doing this to appease my friends and manager. Do whatever you want around here but don’t start telling me how to live my life,” you said.

“I took this job as a favor,” he said, snatching your phone out of your hand and tossing it on the countertop behind him. You scowled and he walked forward, forcing you to back up until your back hit a wall.

“Dude, backoff.”

“Pretend I’m that man that tried to take you before. What do you do? Right here and now. What’s your plan?”

“I’m serious,” you said, trying to brush past him and getting a light shove into the wall for it. You glared at him but he held his ground, pushing you again when you moved.

“I’m serious. Tell me what your plan is. Better yet, show me,” he said.

“I don’t care if you are Jared’s friend. I am this close to punching you. Move now.”

“I said show me.��

You narrowed your eyes and brought up your knee to hit him in the groin. He pushed it away before it connected though and you were off balance, Jensen grabbing you and yanking you away from the wall, putting you in a headlock and tugging your arms behind your back.

“Don’t go for the most obvious move in the world,” he said. “Now that didn’t go how you wanted it to. What’s the plan now?”

“Get off,” you growled, trying to stomp your foot down on his but he moved it back and kicked out your ankle, making you fall back against him. He picked you up and you started moving your legs, Jensen suddenly dropping you down onto the hardwood floor. You hit your knee and winced, a hand suddenly grabbing the back of your shirt. “Alright! I get the fucking point.”

“Do you?” he said, squatting down beside you. You tried pushing his hand away but it tightened and you tried throwing a punch, his grip almost too hard now and his free hand easily blocking the hit. “You have no plan. You’re too small and too weak to overpower someone. You can’t afford to have no plan. The thing is, when it’s real, you’ll be panicking and you’ll have no time at all to think of one.”

“Stop touching me unless you want me to call the cops on you,” you spat out. He moved his hand away and stood, staring back at you.

“You need to do what I tell you if you want to stay safe. I will teach you what to do if you’re in that situation for whatever reason. But the rules keep that situation from happening in the first place. Understand?” he said.

“Understand that you are fired as of now. Pack up your shit and get out of my house,” you said. You got to your feet and he raised an eyebrow. “I’m your boss and I can fire you whenever I want. Get out.”

“How on earth Jared is friends with a someone like you I will never understand,” he said. He headed upstairs and the doorbell rang. You forced a smile for the delivery guy and took your food back to the kitchen, digging in before Jensen was even tossing his first bag down the stairs. You rolled your eyes and were on your third slice by the time he was walking downstairs.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” you said. He shot you a dirty look, his head cocking as he set his bag down. “Oh now what?”

“You look really pale,” he said, walking over to you. “Your pupils are huge.”

“You know what else? You are so not as hot as you think you are,” you said, reaching for another piece of chicken before he smacked your hand. “You are this close to me calling...someone.”

Your head got dizzy for a second, Jensen grabbing your arms and setting you down on the ground.

“I feel funny,” you said, tipping over and resting against him. “Really, really funny.”

“You just got drugged,” he said, using his phone to dial a number. “No more takeout. Got it? Obviously this person knows you moved. I want to put someone at the house full time.”

“I’m gonna fall asleep now,” you said, shutting your eyes.

“No, nope, try to stay awake,” he said. You hummed and he grabbed your face. “Y/N. Try.”

“You’re really pretty for a grumpy grump,” you said.

“I thought I wasn’t hot. Just stay awake for me, Y/N,” he said.

Twenty minutes later you were in the ER with an IV in your arm and feeling a whole lot of crappy. Jensen said something to a doctor before he walked over to the stall you were in and stood by the bed.

“Hey. Police are at your house. Neighbor said they saw a silver pickup parked down the street. Seemed shady. It was gone by the time they got there,” he said.

“Course it was,” you mumbled.

“You more with it again?” he asked.

“Yeah. Feel really tired is all,” you said.

“Well I called your manager. He said he’d be here soon so I’m gonna head out,” he said.

“Huh?” you said, sitting up as he started to leave. “Wait.”

“Last I remember, you fired me. Nothing has changed,” he said. “Goodnight.”

“Wait,” you said, grabbing his wrist, the effort taking more energy than you were anticipating. He didn’t shrug you off, instead gently setting your hand back in your lap and pushing you to lay back down.

“You should rest. There’s a cop outside the room,” he said.

“Stop. Just...sit down,” you said. He sighed but sat on the edge of the bed, raising an eyebrow. “How could somebody already know where I moved? Hardly anyone knows.”

“You rent a moving truck?” he asked.

“Yeah. Movers did the furniture,” you said. He shrugged and you shut your eyes. “The movers?”

“No, probably not them. But that truck probably has GPS for mileage tracking and if this person has your credit card info, they could figure it out,” he said. “The food thing probably happened back at the restaurant you ordered from. Somebody slips in the backdoor, puts some stuff on your food and slips back out.”

“What’s your suggestion?”

“I don’t work for you anymore.”

“Let’s pretend earlier didn’t happen. Please,” you said. “I can’t...I can’t be alone right now and something feels really off about this whole thing.”

“This whole thing has felt off the second Jared told me about it. Tonight just further proved that point,” he said.

“You were in the army longer than he was, right?”

“He decided to retire, go be a cop. I stayed in. Worked on a few more specialized skills a bit longer before I left and got in this line of work,” he said.

“I’m going to assume you know what you’re doing then.”

“Yeah. I know what I’m doing. I can’t guarantee anything but I can give you some pretty damn good odds,” he said. He stared at you for a moment and looked you over. “You’re smarter than the stereotypical actress I pegged you for.”

“It had to have been someone on my team or that’s close to me in order to know that I was moving,” you said. “Or else the person never would have known to look today.”

“Someone that knows your go to takeout place too. You need to be extremely careful about who you trust right now,” he said.

“I trust Jared and Gen,” you said.

“I trust the guy with my life. I’d trust him with yours. Gen is fiesty when you piss her off but you’re her best friend. They didn’t do this.”

“Your expert opinion, what’s my next move?” you asked. He rubbed the back of his neck and made a face. “Jensen.”

“Ideally? You go off grid. I mean off grid, off grid. Middle of nowhere, no one knows where exactly. Cut yourself off and it’d give us more time to figure out who this person is and what exactly it is they want with you. If they’re as close as we think they are, they’ll find a way to sneak in again and next time, it might be my food that’s drugged. It’s a big risk to go back to the house.”

“I can’t go be alone though. What if they did find me somehow?” you asked.

“I said off grid. I didn’t say alone,” he said. “It’s an extreme approach, I’ll give you that. But it gives me more time to work on this and it’ll keep you safe.”

“Why not hire a bunch of guys to stay around me all the time?”

“Because you’re still in danger if you stay in LA and I don’t have the ability to check that many guys out. I got guys I know I can trust but they’re all over the country and the only other one here is Jared and Gen needs him. No offense but she’s got a kid with another on the way. More bodies means more priority,” he said.

“No, no. Please keep them safe too. If it’s a fan of the show, they could be in the same situation,” you said.

“I’m not going to try and tell you what to do because obviously, you weren’t a fan of me doing that before. But if you want to be able to sleep safely at night, we need to go, just you and me. Jared and Gen can know but that’s it and I mean that’s it. I can secure a safe place and everything we’ll need. But it’s going to be a drastic lifestyle change.”

“How drastic?”

“Like no internet and our electricity will run off a generator drastic.”

“If I stay here?”

“I give it a week tops before they try something again,” he said.

“We wrapped two weeks back and since Gen’s pregnant, we aren’t slated to start filming for another seven months. I’ll have to cancel some events but if I was ever going to go off grid, now’s the time to do it.”

“I will get it arranged. Do not speak a word of this to anyone,” he said.

“Jensen,” you said as he stood. “What was that back at the house? You acting all aggressive like that?”

“The last client I had, I was lenient, never taught them anything, let them push me around and dictate how I worked. They got put in a bad situation because of that. If you don’t take this seriously, then what’s the point of me being here.”

“Well wherever we go, I’m gonna need a few things. Women stuff,” you said.

“Make a list and tomorrow, pack a bag,” he said. “I want us on the road tomorrow night. I don’t care what you tell your team about why you’ll be MIA. Just tell them something so we don’t get a missing persons report on you.”

“Alright,” you said, Jensen nodding and starting to leave. “Wait. Where are you going?”

“I need to start preparing. Like I said, there’s a police officer by the door.”

You stared at him and he took a deep breath.

“How about he stays in the room with you until we’re ready to go home and get what we need, okay?” he said.

“Okay,” you said.

“Hang tight. When you’re up for it, we’ll get out of here.”

_____

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #au #bodyguard!AU #bodyguard!jensen #bodyguard!jensen x reader #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction

457 notes · View notes

writingtoforgetreality · 3 years

Text

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Little Movie Star Chapter Seven (Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist], [Little Movie Star-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter (05/08/2021)

Summary: Holidays were around the corner & you were more than a little anxious. How did one celebrate Christmas? You had no money for expensive gifts. Well, that meant you had to improvise. Hopefully, it was enough for them.

Words: 3,526

Warnings: Christmas Chapter in May?, anxiety, language, fluff, cute gift exchange <3

~2016~

That night, Jared left your room after you fell asleep. No matter how many times you begged him not to tell anyone about your panic attack, he could not do that. So as the party slowly died down, he pulled Jensen & Danneel aside & told them what he had witnessed. Obviously, they were concerned about you. Yet, they did not go to you right away. If you were ready to open up to them, you would. Still, they kept a closer eye on you from then on, noticing smaller signs of you struggling with anxiety. Jensen hated that you kept this part of you hidden. But he understood that there was a long way for you to fully trust a person & you simply were not there yet. They had to accept it, whether they liked it or not.

Supernatural had a lot to film before the holidays & Jensen had not really been a consistent part in Vancouver because of him flying back & forth. He felt bad when he told you he had to go back filming until the beginning of December. Brushing him off, you assured him that you guys would be fine alone. Besides, you also had Gen & the kids to entertain you. Over the short time, you had grown close to them. You loved whenever Tom & Shep came by to play with JJ & they wanted you to be a part of it. There were some times when Danneel, Gen & you would have a girls day together. At first, it was a lot for you, but you had grown to love them. At the same time, Danneel & you got to know each other way better, especially with Jensen being back in Vancouver.

Holidays were approaching fast & you had no idea how to deal with it. You had never celebrated Christmas before & were not sure if you should get your new family presents or not. Were they people who valued gifts? Would you receive some? Of course you would, you knew the Ackles’ by now. So you had to think of something. Fast. There was no way you could spend a lot of money on these presents. Not because you did not want to but because it would not be your money. You had saved up a little bit & it would do for small gifts. Then you had an idea.

“Where are you going?” Danneel asked when she saw you putting your shoes on. You coughed shortly, trying to think of an excuse. She knew you did not like going anywhere alone so she was surprised when she found you getting ready.

“Um, just wanna take a walk. I won’t be gone too long.” you promised her & before she could answer, you were out of the door. Danneel was confused by your behavior but she thought it to be positive that you were going outside on your own. Clearly, she had no idea that you were going shopping for Christmas presents.

After buying all the stuff that you needed, you started preparing the presents. You still had over a month left but you wanted to start earlier, just in case. It was not a lot, definitely not expensive, but you hoped they still liked it after unwrapping it. When you realized that you had no idea how to wrap a present, you embarrassingly had to check YouTube for a how-to video. After a few failed attempts & you growing frustrated because you clearly were too dumb to get it done correctly. In the end, you managed to wrap everything. It was by no means good or perfect but you could see what it was supposed to represent.

“How was filming?” you asked Jensen after he came back home.

“It was good. We had a lot of fun, as always.” he answered with a laugh.

“So…can you tell me what happens?” managing your best puppy dog eyes, something Jared had learned you over facetime while they were shooting, Jensen simply shook his head at you.

“Forget it, young lady. You’re a fan of the show, I won’t give away any spoilers, you have to wait like everyone else.”

“You don’t have to wait.” sighing exaggeratingly, you wanted to argue with him.

“Next season you won’t have to.” this made your smile grow wider. He was right, you would start in a few months & you could not wait to receive your first script. “Besides…The guys told me that they can’t wait to finally meet you & work with you.” Jensen looked at you, watching your reacting.

“Fingers crossed they won’t regret casting me.” you joked which made him laugh. He knew you were not serious but the meaning behind your words left an uneasiness in him.

“They won’t, trust me.” he reassured you. Hopefully he was right.

Decorating for Christmas was fun. Even Jared & Gen came over to help you out a little. You all planned to spend Christmas Eve together at your house so you could celebrate Christmas the next morning together as well. This would be the first time you were not entirely alone on this holiday. Hell, you had no idea how to celebrate Christmas in the first place. What were you supposed to do? Maybe you would be just fine if push came to shove.

Two more days until Christmas Eve & you could not help but grow more anxious the closer it got. Your fear of doing anything wrong was so big that you barely had time to enjoy the Christmas spirit. Whatever that was anyway…Knocking on the front door that belonged to the house next to yours, you fiddled with your hands, now feeling stupid for coming over in the middle of the night. They were probably asleep, they would not even hear your attempt of knocking. To your surprise, the door opened only a few seconds later.

“(Y/N)? You alright?” it was Jared, his hair tousled from being asleep. Shit, you did wake him. Great, now you were feeling even worse. Shaking your head, Jared ushered you inside quickly.

“What’s up? It’s…” he looked at his phone to check the time. “3 am.”

“I sneaked out.” you confessed.

“And you did that because..?” Jared was confused. Never before had you shown up at his house in the middle of the night. Whatever was bothering you, it was serious, he could tell. He noticed your trembling hands before you had the chance to answer him. Immediately, he walked you over to his couch to sit down. Making sure to send Jensen a quick text just in case he woke up & could not find you, he put his phone away again, focusing entirely on you.

“I’m sorry.” your voice was quiet & Jared felt his heart breaking.

“Don’t be.” he assured you. “Is there anything you need me to do for you?” he spoke softly, showing you that he was not about to leave you.

“I don’t know, I just…ugh.” throwing your head back in frustration, you were angry at yourself for being so childish. Yet, you did not know what else to do. Jared was the only person who knew a little about what you were struggling with. So you did what you thought was right. Knocking on his door at 3 am. Maybe it was not the best decision you ever made.

“Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.” he instructed & you followed through. “There you go. You can talk to me, (Y/N).”

“You’d think it’s stupid.”

“Try me.” his answer got a little laugh out of you. Jared’s eyes grew wider when you did.

“I’m scared of Christmas.” you admitted embarrassingly. When Jared did not say anything, you continued. “This is my first time celebrating & I don’t know what to do or what is appropriate or how you guys usually celebrate it or if you expect something from me or-“ Jared interrupted your rambling.

“Hey, hey, hey. (Y/N). I can assure you that nobody expects anything from you. Except maybe the fact that you are there. That’s all that matters. You being with us to celebrate Christmas together.” Jared’s eyes showed nothing but understanding. Your conversation went on for a little longer & when you wanted to leave his house, he told you to sleep in their guest room for the night. Too tired & exhausted to argue any more with him, you let him lead you to the spare room where you embraced the soft sheets right away. It felt good to open up to someone but you did not understand why you were okay with telling Jared but when it came to Jensen & Danneel, you chickened out.

When you woke up next morning, you got startled for a second, briefly forgetting about last night’s events. What would you tell Jensen & Danneel? Getting up & using the bathroom that was attached to the guest room, you were surprised to find clothes on the counter. Assuming Jared was the one who put them there, a small smile made its way on your face. A quick shower would not be too bad so you hopped inside quickly, letting the warm water soothe your skin. After drying off your body, you put on the clothes Jared had prepared for you. A pair of sweatpants & one of his hoodies. Well, you were not sure if he ever got this one back, if you were honest. You knew your way through the Padalecki’s house by now, due to you spending a lot of time there lately. Paddling through the hallway, you heard distant voices coming from the kitchen area.

“Good morning, (Y/N)! Breakfast is about to be done.” Jared spoke up before you could even see him. What was it with him & his spidey senses?

“Morning, Jared. Sorry again for las-“ coming to a halt right after walking inside the room. Jensen & Danneel were already sitting at the table. Shit, you did not expect that.

“I invited them over for breakfast.” Jared told you. Oh, really? You almost missed that.

“Yeah, I can see that.” chuckling & slowly walking over to a chair, your eyes focused on the floor, too embarrassed to look Jensen & Danneel in the eyes. They were about to yell at you for sneaking out in the middle of the night without telling them anything.

“Am I dreaming or is Jared really making breakfast?” Gen walked into the room & everyone laughed at her comment, even you. Surprisingly, breakfast went by smoothly. Nobody mentioned last night & you were more than thankful for it. But you also knew that Jared most likely talked to Jensen & Danneel about what happened anyway. Who were you kidding, though? They were probably aware of the panic attack you had during the party a while ago. Jared only meant well but still…this entire thing made you extremely uncomfortable. You hated that more & more of yourself got revealed to them & you could not do shit to stop it. Being vulnerable in front of them was awful. Hell, they had more important things to worry about than you & your stupid problems.

“(Y/N)? Can you come here real quick, please?” Jensen asked you after being back in your house again.

“Sure, what’s up?” you were nervous about what he wanted from you but you had to give yourself that. You played it incredibly cool. Like there was nothing wrong at all.

“So for Christmas Eve, we’re doing a movie night, right?” he knew the answer to that question but still decided to ask. After nodding your head, he kept on. “What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” that caught you off guard. He asked you? Why would he ask you?

“Um, I love “Home Alone” but the munchkins shouldn’t watch that.” you concluded. A while ago, whenever you talked about all the kids, you called them munchkins. You found it cute.

“True.” Jensen chuckled.

“I’m sure they’d love “Frozen”, though.” this made Jensen sigh loudly & you laughed at his antics. In all the time you had been with them, you sure as hell had watched that movie about thirty times. No kidding. Really.

“Okay, you know what? We’ll start off with “Frozen” & after the kids are asleep, we’ll watch “Home Alone”, is that alright?”

“Sure, if you guys don’t wanna watch another Christmas movie.”

“Not at all. This one’s perfect.” his smile eased you & you loved the fact that he wanted to include you in their tradition. Yep, Jared definitely told him.

Christmas Eve dinner was delicious & you did not feel anxious at all. Chatting, laughing & enjoying each other’s company was more than enough. Your movie marathon was perfect, too. During “Frozen”, you found yourself singing along to each song, as did the little ones. Well, they tried, at least. Everyone was happy to see you enjoying yourself. When you were like that, nobody could tell that you had a shitty past or that you were still struggling with the consequences of it. This was the first time that Jensen had heard you sing & he was surprised that your voice was actually pretty damn good. Maybe you would sing with him one day, who knew? The kids went to sleep & the five of you watched “Home Alone”, happy that the others were enjoying this movie as well. Before you guys went to bed, too, Jensen, Danneel, Jared & Gen placed a bunch of presents under the big, decorated tree. You wanted to wait to add your presents to the other stacks until everyone was fast asleep. So you sneaked out of your room later that night to do exactly that.

Three kids jumping up & down on your bed woke you from your peaceful slumber. Each of them yelled at you to get up because Santa brought so many presents overnight. Smiling at their excitement, you dragged yourself out of bed & went downstairs. The others were already there. Stopping for a short moment, you took everything in & processed the scene in front of you. This was all so new to you. Everybody had a big smile plastered on their face. Was this what you had missed all these years? JJ took your hand & dragged you over to where the others were already seated.

Presents started being exchanged, kids first, of course. Grabbing three small packages, you walked over to JJ & kneeled down to her. The twins were asleep but you planned on giving them their presents later today. You bought a small, soft blanket for each of them.

“There you go, princess. Merry Christmas.” JJ took her present from you & lost no time in unwrapping it. Her smile widened & she proudly held up the pink magic wand you got her. But there was more to this present.

“I got this when I was your age. Bill gave it to me because I always wanted to be a princess in a huge castle on a hill somewhere. I want you to have it, JJ. Take care of it.” she threw her hands around your neck & you pulled her closer. Danneel had tears in her eyes when she heard your story. Jensen wrapped an arm around her. He, too, was moved by what you told JJ. They did not expect you to give any of them any presents. Yet, you went out of your way.

“Tom? Shep?” their heads perked up when they heard their names being called. You each handed them a package, glad that they were too young to care about how neatly your wrapped them.

“Merry Christmas.” smiling when they started unwrapping their gifts, they let out excited squeals when they saw what you got them. They were the biggest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans. Tom got Leonardo & Michelangelo, Shep held Donatello & Raphael in his small hands. They thanked you again & again until you laughed at them, assuring that it was more than fine.

“Just, don’t argue over them, okay? You gotta share those.” they nodded at you & immediately started playing with the figures. Alright, at least the kids were happy with their gifts.

“Jared? Gen?” you eyed them nervously. “I-I know it’s not much but…Merry Christmas.” you handed them their gift, fiddling with your hands. Jared let Gen open it. A small picture frame revealed itself. You put a picture of the three of you inside. You took it in their backyard, all of you wearing the “Family Has Your Back” hoodie.

“This is more than enough.” Gen started.

“It’s perfect, (Y/N).” Jared finished & waited for you to make a move. If you were the one to initiate a hug, they would not decline. Their smiles got wider when you pulled them into a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas, guys. This is a thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you..” before you got too emotional, you handed them their package. It was a little bigger & therefore poorly wrapped. “Sorry about the wrapping paper. I suck at that.” you laughed uncomfortably. Danneel only brushed you off, telling you that it was just perfect. They both gasped when they saw what you gave them. You made a painting of the two of them in a pop-art style. Thinking it would fit perfectly in the house & all.

“We need to find the perfect place for it.” Danneel squealed to which Jensen nodded.

“Thank you, angel.” Jensen pulled you into a tight hug, one that Danneel joined a second later. “You have talent.” he added after releasing you. Blushing at his words, you simply thanked him. A while ago, you would have argued, telling him that you were not that good. But you had improved when it came to accepting compliments. The others kept exchanging gifts & you sat by, watching their excitement whenever another present got opened. Slowly, your mood shifted. Maybe you would not receive anything from them? After all, you were still new to the family. That was okay. Did not change you from being sad about it, though. Not wanting to show your disappointment, you kept a smile on your face.

“I believe there is one person left without any presents.” Jensen spoke up & you looked at him with your head tilted. They did not forget about you? There were still two packages left & he grabbed one, Jared took the other.

“Merry Christmas.” all of them said, even the kids joined in. Why were there already tears threatening to spill? Nothing had happened yet.

“That’s not your actual present. But we thought it was the perfect timing to give it to you today.” Jared put one neatly wrapped gift in your lap & when you saw all of them waiting for you expectantly, you went to open it. No way. Was that real?

“Seriously?” you were shocked when you took a closer look at it. “The script for the next Avengers?” they nodded at you.

“Came in a few days ago. I actually wanted to give it to you right away but Danneel had the idea of giving it to you for Christmas.” Jensen explained.

“Thank you! This is…wow.” no words could be formed. You had to read through it later, for sure.

“Here.” Danneel handed you the second gift. “That’s from all of us & from a few others.” sending you a wink, you were left confused. JJ, Tom & Shep sat themselves around you, not wanting to miss anything. Delicately, you unwrapped the present, only for it to reveal a small book. It read “SPN Family” on the cover. There was also a small anti-possession symbol pictured. You were confused but when you asked what it was, they simply told you to have a look at it. Opening the first page, you could not control the tears any longer.

“(Y/N),

this book is filled with letters, pictures & more. Not only will you find our names in there, you will see that almost everyone who’s part of our Supernatural crew has left you a little something behind until you’ll join us on set. Read through it whenever things get tough or whenever you need something to cheer you up. Don’t forget that we’re always here for you, no matter what. You’re family & we care for you.

Merry Christmas, angel”

Jumping up, you ran over & gave each of them a tight hug. You let the tears flow freely, no longer caring about showing your emotions in front of them. The kids dragged you back to the couch, wanting to show you what they contributed to the book. All of them drew a few pictures & you were in awe. That was more than you could have ever imagined.

“Thanks, really. I-I don’t even know what to say.” wiping away your tears, they knew that it was the right decision to get you this present. It almost did not get finished but they managed to get it done in time. And it was freaking worth it.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter (05/08/2021)

Published (05/01/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @vicmc624, @imaginationisgrowth, @stoneyggirl, @alyispunk, @thevelvetseries, @multifandomlover121, @samsgirl93, @supernatural3002, @diabetes-03, @prettyybubblesintheair, @originalsoulcollector, @vir-tual, @bellero, @sergantbuckybarnes, @namelesslosers (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

130 notes · View notes

incarnateirony · 3 years

Text

Someone dropped this in my submission box instead of ask box, “So I’m trying to genuinely understand what you’re saying is you understand corporate execs at the CW had a hand in the ending of supernatural? I’m not judging not attacking I swear I’m just trying to make sense of it because I had no idea about any of this up till now because I had stayed out of online fandom because well for years it felt big but anyways am I getting this right?”

---

The CW has a hand in everything. Here’s how this generally works.

The authors have ~relative~ freedom on a show. That is to say, the execs really don’t sit there splitting the nuances of the storytelling the fandom is receiving. They generally don’t even identify major markers that any of us would know (see: not even recognizing what the Roadhouse is.) -- we all knew the original ending had TFW at the Roadhouse as framed and spoiled by 15.04 among other details, and the whole “heaven/mental bar” theme from DSOTM, Nihilism, and Last Call all amplified this as an inevitability--but when you ask about “hey, is there a bar in heaven?” and get a “no?” that tells you they don’t even understand *ancient* plot beats like the Roadhouse, much less the ramifications of what it’s supposed to entail. Oh look at that, the roadhouse was just in fucking heaven like we said, but you identified it as a “cabin” because of filming locations and your basic notes.

Corporate has very basic compliance demands. They expect X, Y, and Z. What X Y and Z are across different shows vary depending on their markets. As long as the authors operate within X Y and Z, the corporate face essentially works off of synopsis of pitches and ideas.

This is also why I’ve talked about queer writing history and people being careful what they call queerbait: you don’t know what their X Y and Z are. The WB for example does not really CARE about representation. I’ve blogged about this often. We’re dollar signs. If they can package a new product to market it explicitly as LGBTQ fare, then they’ll turn you into a revenue machine by feeding you that particular fodder. When it comes to legacy shows--which is funny, because when the suit went off in my DM about this, they used the exact same phrasing as me--they’re going to play it safe, especially if they don’t truly understand the returns from the demographics they’re observing.

The space between X Y and Z is where the authors have liberty to push and, the longer and harder they push, the louder the content is allowed to get.

Here! I’ll even quote them directly, somewhat truncated because they ranted for fucking PARAGRAPHS.

“In reference to the media landscape, on a corporate level we do not distinguish fandoms. [...] That said, legacy shows such at Arrow, Supernatural, and even Flash are relics and we never really endeavored to reinvent the wheel on a corporate level, we are more focused on shows that are newer and still in our pipeline to premiere. [...] As for social media like all businesses and brands the engagement itself is key, but the content of the engagement is mostly irrelevant, though every show does have certain keywords that are often used in conjunction with harsher interactions blacklisted.”

The funny part is, they thought they were preaching to me like this was new information, but those of you that have been around my blog will PROBABLY RECOGNIZE this is almost VERBATIM exactly what I have told everybody over the years. Enough I half-suspect some trolls out there will think i wrote it myself and made it up and lob that accusation around. But there’s about 50 people that watched this conversation as it unfolded.

If you guys get mad? You’re still giving them PR. If you engage the content? You’re giving them PR. If you guys get bitchy ENOUGH? They completely blacklist a certain kind of engagement. I have literally been telling you all of this for years.

They don’t care who you are or what you want, just if you’re watching and what they at-best roughly estimate your demographic as desiring. So for example, Supernatural reading as a largely non-urban white demographic in its viewership, especially with a heavier lean in red states than most shows on the network, they presume to cater to what they perceive that demographic wants, rather than individualizing the understanding of the content, because they do not distinguish the shows or fandoms. “Oh, heavier republican white non-urban demographic” is where their understanding ends at, which is why they’re going to be utterly mystified why even my trump-voting republican neighbor from rural Alabama looked at the end result and went “what the fuck?” -- they weren’t expecting a big gay confession, but they were expecting a different sort of final tone.

Of course they’re never going to take that on for themselves and go “wow, we’re giant blazing dumbasses that understand nothing about the show!” -- they’ll, for example, claim they don’t leave network notes, when they’re still the ones passing material along about demographics and expectations etc etc. Their notes are *basic*. They do not leave *extensive* notes. Because extensive notes require extensive understanding of the content.

So for example: Berens spent since S9 slowly gaying up our show. Since they do not pay attention to the fine details of the story contents (lol no bar in heaven lolololol just a cabin lololol), he never got a note to *stop*. But it was not within the original structure plans and didn’t technically fit the demographic notes. The show continued to get aggressively gayed up, and Berens never really signed a note like “hey, I’m gaying it the fuck up” so even fandom reporters were going “THERE’S NO INTENT THERE!!!!!” -- berens operated in his very basic X, Y, Z landmarks to expand content within a story the suits literally do not pay the fuck attention to.

Corporate’s understanding is basic: dudes stabbing monsters and brothers against the world. Play in that box and keep these demographic notes in mind. You’re good.

They’ll NEVER mention blacklisting issues directly beyond what they admitted in the above quote but I DO remind you I have ranted ON AND ON AND ON how much Destiel fandom shot themselves in the goddamn foot with a fucking bazooka with the Chad Kennedy incident years ago. Others like Emily handled it intelligently to inform the *authors*. No, the network will never tell you if they blacklisted Destiel, but I informed you pretty heavily years ago that odds are, yeah, they probably fucking blacklisted Destiel.

Add in paying attention to the things Berens himself liked (if you don’t believe, scroll to Nov 5 on his tl)

Like, listen. berens knows exactly what he did and did the best he could do in the situations that were set up for him. And, frankly, I had been talking about this season as a writer room rebellion all year--just like corporate DID leave them a note in S11 that they couldn’t kill god. But if they couldn’t kill him or cage him, they would find another way. In 17 we said goodbye to Meredith and, in a way, to a MAJOR portion of Dean’s substantial story. In 18, we said goodbye to Bobo, and frankly all the parts that grew into queer Castiel that came with it. 19 and 20 became residual notes of hitting expected plot beats on the head on a rhythm, tying off godforces, and then just sliding into the Dabb subversion of them having learned to grieve, let go, and process emotions-- just the surrounding delivery left the feeling of more ~wanting~ on that front which is understandable.

But these are the kind of things people don’t even ~think~ about. This is WHY I’ve turned myself into a bulletshield protecting Berens’ work for YEARS while people yelled about queerbait not understanding the years of process he used in his unbabysat space to make something unable to dodge.

More posts he liked:

This isn’t a solo story. At the same SDCC he leaned over to my friend and grinned, whispering, “I hope you like what I did this year.” -- he knew. He knew and he fought his ass off but there was an end of the line.

That end of the line having an extra note or two to drop in the finale--never a big gay confirmation, just a “everyone’s there together, assume what you want” --is its own thing. As it is, Jensen even remarked how much of his dialogue got cut in final draft out of 18, and if the brazil dubbing footage leak tells me anything, they got the raw version before it was cut. And before they ADR’ed Dean’s sniffling collapsed against the wall. They had everything right, beyond the fact that there was supposed to be more dialogue from Dean along the lines of, “You can’t go”, or “you can’t leave” (difficult to determine what a ESL person seeing an english draft then yelling in portuguese then translated back to english meant, specifically, but something in that ballpark -- just like “don’t do this” came as “no it’s not” through the translation pipeline), and other similar minor bartering about this. And we’re not even gonna get into Dean’s hilariously loudly ADRed sniffling on the wall. Here, Jensen, breathe IMMEDIATELY into this microphone.

But they’re never going to tell you this. Of course they’re not.

Summarily, corporate had half a year of having to re-manage scheduling everybody’s flights and planners during covid rewrites to stare directly into the huge gay abyss and fuck things up.

It’s all about the unmonitored space vs the monitored space. Of COURSE they’re never going to fucking tell you these things.

FRANKLY I am DYING to see the Portuguese dub of the show to see what the fuck they do with it, all things considered. I’m pretty sure the suit in my inbox that’s trying to vagueblog around things sideways now never accounted for the fact that there’s copies of the raw available in some parts of the world. I’m... pretty sure they thought they were my only leak source in fact.

Either way--it’s not that corporate micromanages and passes constant notes. It’s that they gloss over vague summaries and plans, drop a few base expectations and performance boxes. It’s up to the authors how to kick up dust inside those boxes.

347 notes · View notes

fangirlingtodeath513 · 3 years

Text

The Cockles Breakup Theory - Jensen

So I’ve previously posted here about the Cockles Breakup Theory, but that focused more on Misha’s side of it since Misha’s side was a bit more obvious. I’ve gotten a few requests to do one specifically focusing on Jensen, so here we are.

First of all, under no circumstances is this to be brought up with any of the cast or crew. Discussions like this are born in the fandom space and they’re meant to stay there. Please do not use these posts, or posts similar to this, to push an agenda with the actors, their families, or anyone else. This is purely speculative and purely for fun.

Throwing this under a cut because it’s gonna get long.

I’m gonna start out by giving a rough overview for those of you that don’t remember. We’re hovering between October of 2011 and somewhere around August of 2012. So we’re in season 7, where it looks like Cas has been removed from the show permanently.

Misha shows up drunk and ornery all through Asylum 7, which was the following weekend. Jensen looks relatively unfazed. We don’t see much from him until well after fans were made aware of Misha’s return around December of 2011.

The whole thing starts with this tweet from Misha:

[A screenshot of a tweet from Misha Collins on October 21, 2011. It reads: “I’m not normally one to talk coworkers, but Jensen jus let me take this picture of him shirtless.” This is followed by a link that leads to a very close-up picture of the left side of Jensen Ackles’ face, from his forehead to the bottom of his nose.]

This is pretty on-the-nose (pardon the pun) even for Misha, who’s typically very flirty and jokey with his friends. I’ve seen people theorize that this particular post is what spurred their breakup, in addition to the other factors of Misha being let go from the show and not being on set in Vancouver with Jensen anymore. My personal theory is that their relationship, whatever it was at the beginning, was as much of a comfort thing as it was a relationship. They were there for weeks at a time, away from their families, and I don’t doubt that they took comfort in each other. When that factor was removed, that relationship basically fell apart. I’m sure Misha being so jokingly open about their relationship didn’t strike Jensen in the best way either. He’s always been an intensely private person, though he has opened up to fans more recently, and I’m sure any insinuation that he’s living anything other than the life of the normal American male makes him nervous.

The Jensen side of this is generally thought of like this: from mid-October 2011 (the time of Misha’s tweet, which is thought to have started the breakup) to roughly February 2012, Jensen was super tight-lipped about Misha and Cas. He hardly says anything, which some people write off because Misha and Cas weren’t on the show. However, the fans knew Misha would be back in December of 2011, so J2M probably knew before that and Jensen was still tight-lipped about Misha and Cas.

Somewhere around February, though, something happened. Jensen’s a lot more open with talking about Cas and whenever he brings up Misha, he always mentions how much he helps to carry the show and how great he is, almost like he’s trying to praise him at every opportunity. Throughout panels between February and August 2012, he does just about everything he can to get Misha’s attention. He flirts with him, pulls him into the conversation as often as he can, and brings up Misha/Cas even when he’s not around.

There’s this set of gifs regarding Jensen speaking about Cas and the loss of Cas during season 7. He’s overly nice in them and gushes about Cas, leading some people to believe he was trying to get Misha’s attention and show him that he really did care.

In this set of gifs from February-ish 2012, you’ve got him saying he’ll take Misha back on the show with a pleased smile.

At Nashcon in February, Jensen is asked what it’s like to have Misha back on set and he says “It’s very refreshing, you know, he’s one of the family.”

And of course, there are the various statements about Dean taking Cas’s trenchcoat from the water, which wasn’t scripted. Misha said at an earlier con that he thought Dean was overly obsessed with Cas and that it was super creepy which, if you pay any attention to Misha at all, is super out of character for him. As far as I’m aware, he’s always been super supportive of Deana and Cas’s relationship (romantic or not). Also at Nashcon, Jensen says he discussed the move with the director, Guy Bee, and “if [Cas] ever comes back, he’s gonna need the trenchcoat.”

And then we’re onto JIB3 in April 2012. This one’s… rough, to say the least. For anyone who watches the Cockles panels at JIB, you know what they’re usually like: fun, flirty, usually with drunk Jensen and Misha. Misha almost always takes the lead in their panels because he’s always been the one more comfortable in front of fans, but this time he just sits back and watches. It’s the panel Cockles fans look forward to all year, but this one was… well, see for yourself.

Jensen kinda carries the whole thing. It’s pretty clear Misha’s not at all into being there.

And then there’s this exchange, which just speaks for itself:

[A set of gifs from Jus In Bello Convention in Rome. The exchange is as follows: Jensen: I-I had a great time. I really did. It wasn’t you, it was me. Misha: It’s funny, I just thought that, for me it was really special, so. Jensen: That’s, um… that’s too bad. That’s too bad. But maybe we can give it another shot! See if the creative juices get flowing. No? Okay. During this exchange, Jensen is very animated, moving his hands to punctuate his points and tilting his body toward Misha at times. At the end of that exchange, Jensen turns in his seat so Misha is slightly behind him. Misha, throughout this exchange, is incredibly reserved. He only moves to bring his microphone to his mouth and he turns his head to look at Jensen, but his body stays facing the crowd.]

I mean like what... how are you even supposed to interpret that any other way than a breakup? Look at Misha’s face, he looks devastated. His head is down, he doesn’t move at all while they’re talking, and he’s facing the crowd the entire time. His legs are straight out in front of him, unlike Jensen’s relaxed sitting posture.

Then there’s this whole thing, where Misha is so obviously trying to make Jensen jealous. It’s not until Misha sees Jensen looking over that he really goes for it, groping Sebastian and pretty much dry humping him on stage. Jensen just looks around awkwardly during this encounter, like he’s not really sure what to do with himself.

There’s also this debacle, which was also at JIB3. I’m not sure whose duck it was (I think Cliff’s, J2’s bodyguard) but Misha had autographed it with “Cliff, I want to give you my big d*ck”. The entire cast had been messing around with it all day, then Jensen walks on stage, sees Misha’s autograph, and almost immediately takes a sharp object to the duck to ruin it. I don’t want to assume this is because of Misha but like…………… I have eyes and a brain.

As far as how it was resolved? We don’t really know. I doubt we’ll ever really know, to be honest with you. Around the time of filming 8x05, they had VanCon, where they were both visibly in much, much better spirits. Misha kissed a poster of Jensen, Jensen was so much more open that even at the time, some fans who attended the con remarked on it. This brings us to August of 2012, where it appears they mended whatever went wrong. Was it that Misha wasn’t on the show? Was it something more, like Jensen thinking they were becoming a little bit too public? We’ll probably never know.

I’m not going to tack my thoughts on the end here since I want this to primarily be an informational post, so if you’d like me to go in-depth with my own theory of what happened and what went down, I’ll certainly do that in a different post :) These are some other really great resources for the breakup theory that cover things way more in-depth than I have, especially with the conventions. There’s this one, which is basically the Cockles bible, most (if not all) of the pertinent info about the breakup is listed there. Here’s a youtube playlist of all the key moments we’ve discussed here as well as some others. You can also check out my cockles tag or my cockles breakup theory tag for more delightful cockles info.

#cockles #rps for ts #cockles breakup theory

223 notes · View notes

elizabethrobertajones · 3 years

Note

Hello there. I have a question (more like a thesis): What would have happened if Cas told the Truth anywhere between season 7 and 15? Do you think it would have had the same impact on Dean? Logically speaking Cas could have told him anytime.

Oh gosh, yes. I mean Dean’s reaction in season 15 is still the best it could have been really :P He was in the best place and most accepting of himself and he still had a BSOD for a moment and then Cas had to shove him away so he could go die... (Assuming you take the on screen boring presentation of what happened as canon and not throw in the reciprocation, tears, pull in for a kiss, etc that we know exists either in our hearts or on Jackles’ phone.)

I’ve been thinking about this and the parameters we’d have to apply if we were gonna get something like the show being self-healing back to its self as we know it but we were allowed a confession. Also the show has to be as punishing as ever. So these are my personal theses on each season...

Season 7 the confession would have to be after Cas comes back, and everything in 7x17 that looked like Dean was jealous of Daphne and Meg textually was meant to be read that way in the set up for the confession. To make it the most painful obviously we still get Cas exactly as he was all through to the end of the season and he never really says anything too different but then right when they’re having the “cursed or not” discussion he’d bust out of nowhere that he supposes it is inevitable Dean would talk him into going on this dangerous mission to get Dick because obviously Cas loves him. And Dean, who is in a weirdly zen sort of place in the remaining minutes of season 7 after Bobby’s send off and final words that helped him go make up with Cas, is in a similarly season 15 oddly okay spot, mental health wise. At least. COMPARED TO ALL THE REST OF SEASON 7. But I still personally have always read it as a genuinely good place for him that could have endured much longer if not for *gestures everything that happened after stabbing Dick* and obviously making up with Cas was step one and a huge part of his process.

(idk if you’ve noticed but 7x23 pretty much has no Sam and Dean interaction after Bobby’s send off, and their last good broments are really scarce; it feels sort of natural for abrupt calamity and no time for teary farewells in a season with a strong commentary on grief, which also hyperfocuses the attention on Dean n Cas there.)

So I think Dean would maybe be stunned but maybe quirk a sceptical smile like “He can’t mean it like that and anyway he’s currently coo-coo, this doesn’t mean anything hahaha oh Cas :)))” and then idk shake his head and move the story on and Cas just turns one longing look after him like “dammit that didn’t work out like planned”

Anyway then the exact plot beats of 7x23 follow, exactly as seen on your screens, but we’re left going into season 8 and Carver era with Dean far far more messed up about Cas and it can force clarification in 8x02 in Purgatory where Cas is entirely adamant he meant what he meant and furious at Dean for being mad at him and Dean’s mad at Cas for all the season 8 reasons so they continue angsting at each other but Benny’s reaction shots are just 10x funnier. This is followed by Dean’s reciprocation of “I love you” instead of “I need you” in the crypt scene in 8x17 and from there honestly it’s been built up into canon in such a way that the emotional arc of the show has to go off the wheels and I can’t keep to the self-healing model to continue following the “real” plot and contain this much raw power.

Coincidentally, if the first confession is in season 8, it would be “what broke the connection” after a season 8 where nothing was different up until that point. Cas flaps off while Dean is still processing that the answer was “You. I love you.” and Dean is left yelling at the empty crypt like “What the hell, Cas?!”

Then he’s as mad at him as he was in canon except instead of being borderline a really bad overreaction into his anger phase which we have to weather as miserable fans tethered to this ship who know sometimes Dean gets mad and yells at Cas for no reason, he’s reacting proportionately. It’s always seemed like 8x22 only makes sense if Dean is furious at Cas for confessing and fleeing except, obviously, in our “”real”” canon, it can only be like Cas confessed and Dean took it that way and also felt embarrassed how far he went with his own feelings only for Cas to run.

This would make the bar scene with the cupids in 8x23 make a lot more sense too, and after they get the cupid bow Dean’s going to turn to Cas and give him a nervous smile, and then - Naomi flaps in like she does and distracts them away from reciprocation.

I think this one could go long - maybe even season 13 Cas being dead and Dean being like “FUCK I never got a chance to work things out with him” and 13x06 onwards is where we get any actual work on the ship, because Carver era was so determined to be emotionally gruelling and unsatisfying and relentless from one issue to the next. And the confessions are so bound up specifically in the moments of miscommunication or failed attempts, cut off conversations etc that whether Destiel is canon or not, they’re never gonna get to talk it out under those conditions. Cas is only explicitly the grieving wife and jealous ex to Crowley’s smug take over of Dean’s affections rather than subtextually.

The season 9 confession... I feel like we’d come perilously close to the Monkey Paw curse we once envisioned of Buckleming making it canon because they love jumping the gun on plot points and making them too obvious. So the end of 9x03, Cas is really blatantly angling to come in with a big “Hey I’m human can I live in the Bunker look at me I learned to do The Sex can we do it now” kind of vibe. All the enthusiasm he was giving to eating that burrito in the background while “Zeke” was trying to get him kicked out, but with lusting over Dean :P

If we avoid that we can leap to Mr Bobo Berens and his first episode, and have this thing handled by a pro, as it’s already very much about Cas as a homeless queer man with a bad ex he still loves rolling into town where he’s just trying to make a new life and play straight - I mean human - for his own survival. I suspect the confrontation with Iphraim would make it really obvious that Cas didn’t just want to live as a human but had an eye for living as a human with Dean, and then he’d attempt a confession right before Dean would accidentally talk over, like, the L in “love” honestly, to tell him that sorry things do still stand that you can’t come back with me. Leaves Cas utterly devastated but Dean is none the wiser and he drives off and Cas pines piningly at the pine trees in his Gas n Sip.

Again the end of season probably would force the real confession, since there’s a ready made moment in 9x22 where Hannah tries to force Cas to kill Dean and he gives it all up for one man. Cas can just lower that knife and be like, “No, I love him,” talking to his shoes and Hannah rather than meeting Dean’s eyes. Mark of Cain Dean is fuuuucked up at that point but we still get the moment where Dean carries Cas’s bag into the bunker and sits down with him and tries to care about his health and now also this confession. Sussing out what the heck is up with Cas, and maybe he looks like he’s playing it cool and is still so messed up but Cas is vulnerable, and finally Dean starts to reach across the library table for his hand, and it’s a moment where maybe things could have started to go better for them...... Cue Gadreel walking into the library, Dean going feral, blah blah demon!Dean, blah blah explicitly stated Drowley, blah blah muuuch healing and Cas giving Dean a wide berth for a lil while. Though, in this scenario, 10x22 is far worse but has the reverse crypt scene moment, so Dean can be more obviously unable to kill Cas because he loves him, and then he walks out, followed by season 11 and Cas being returned to them. Unfortunately. Yep. Another finger curls on the Monkey Paw... 11x03 by Buckleming would absolutely be where Destiel goes undeniably canon as it is their first real interactions post Mark of Cain. Our only consolation - directed by Jensen Ackles.

Season 10 confession, hm. Poor Cas. He has the option of 10x03, of confessing and then immediately apologising and walking off to handle stuff with Hannah (thanks Buckleming!) or the Burger Date, where Dean may be slightly less stunned stupid but still likely to laugh it off and not believe it. There’s not much heavy tension between them most of the season so it’s possible that the only time Cas would really get is to confess in 10x22 while telling Dean that he would have to watch him murder the world, and that would suck because I love you. At which point the story dictates that Dean beats Cas to paste so it’s a very bad look. Season 10 destiel confession is the worst.

Season 11 may be better because Cas has options to be jealous of Crowley and Dean’s connection to Amara multiple times and then Casifer happens and that can really play up things in a season where a confession is coming.

I think the Beer Run in 11x23 might be the only viable place, where Dean grabs Cas and takes him out for that drive for last drinks before the end of the world. Cas gets the “you’re our brother” thing and just lays into Dean with the certainty of someone who knows this is it - now or nothing - with “You know that’s crap, Dean. You wait until the end of the world and you can’t even say it. Well I can; I love you.”

Cue awkward tension, well-placed interrupting Moose, and then the world very much not ending so that when Dean n Cas hug and kiss in front of Mary in 12x01. Well. There’s even more explaining to do to her. Since we’ve made it to Dabb era, I believe any confessions from this point onwards can just slot into the show as we got it from there since it’s entirely compatible to start season 12 assuming Dean n Cas are literally married and never be contradicted by the text in their behaviour. But since we’ve had canon Destiel since whenever, obviously the final episodes are good instead of. That.

Season 12... Going to have to go with the first sniff of true canon coming in Lily Sunder with just a few lines leaning even further in the Cas’s Angel Family Are Homophobic Assholes metaphor, leaving Cas’s relationship with Dean even more live wire exposed. Followed by The Mixtape Scene where Cas is going to confess to Dean and get him startled up out of his seat, accidentally knocking the mixtape to the floor and for a moment it’s like, did he throw it is he mad? but then he’s smooching Cas, fade to black, return to scheduled programming but the whole line about Cas stealing the Colt from under Dean’s pillow makes fuckin sense, as well as the fall out argument and how mad Dean was at Cas followed by how devastated he was at Cas’s death. This just means Dabb era continues as planned except we get a kiss in 13x06 under that big glowy cross, and some more smooching here and there when things are good from then on.

Season 13... Hm. Cas has to do the confessing and I don’t think he’d throw that at Dean on return from death so unlike if Dean was the one who was being made to confess obviously the aforementioned glowy cross scene obviously would be it for him... Cas could keep that bottled up much longer, especially as he has so much to do with Jack this season. It’s entirely possible we go through the whole season and then Cas lobs it at Dean as a final card when he’s making his Michael decision and we actually see the scene that we didn’t get, where Cas has to watch Dean getting possessed. Except Dean is like, tearful and furious like why would you tell me that now, and anyway i’m doing this for you as well dumbass but fuck you but also how dare you anyway I need to be an archangel now and save our - your - son, bye. Cue Cas sitting there not just in total horror at what happened but also kicking himself for fucking up the moment :P I guess this way at least we can have that moment where Dean is un-Michaeled and tells Cas he’s going to shower and finger guns at him, and now we can have Cas wordlessly and furiously follow him.

Season 14, we get Cas at Rocky’s bar confessing to Dean while figment!Pamela cheers the whole thing on. If there was EVER a time to use the power of love to snap Dean out of it, Cas upsetting his cosy routine with “this isn’t real, I’M NOT HERE IN YOUR FANTASY” is absolutely the time to pull a reverse crypt scene which has such low stakes in terms of neither of them needing to punch each other when Michael is an external aggressor.

My ONLY issue with this is that Sam has to witness the whole thing and we would get reaction shots and I am a weak mortal who will start cackling at them when I’m supposed to be having the transcendent moment of canon and the whole thing would be ruined just because of the way Jared gurns when doing reactions to dean n cas interacting. Wow thanks. Thanks a lot.

137 notes · View notes

dwimpala-67 · 3 years

Text

Whatever Happens....

My two cents on the whole Prequel-Gate ...

Warning: The opinions expressed are purely personal and have no bearing on any person and if they do it’s merely coincidental and are without intention. If you choose to read this, it’s solely at your own risk and the writer is not responsible for any consequences thereof.

Jared and Jensen have been at the heart of Supernatural for past fifteen years. J2 - along with the show have been the source of joy for everyone in the fandom. We’ve seen them grow up, seen their friendship evolve and seen the way they interact with each other. We fell in love with them, with the beautiful friendship they share, and their compassion and empathy and strength and understanding. These two beautiful individuals weaved their way into our hearts. Somehow, they’ve become a part of our lives. And we trusted them, like we do with any individual that is close to us in real life.

The end of Supernatural was bitter sweet for many of us, especially the J2 shippers. We could see our beloved show being ruined and we all thoughts perhaps, it was time to end it but secretly still wanted a miracle to happen and the story line to be back to its true canonical nature without the OOC story line that was being fed to us. Then came the announcement that Supernatural would end with season 15. Even if we knew the it was inevitable, it was still a shock. We have a saying back in my culture: “Whatever has a beginning, has to have an ultimate end.” And true to that, it was time for Supernatural to end. It doesn’t mean we had to be happy about it. After all, this was the show that meant a lot, personally to many of us. To see it coming to an end was painful, shocking, even heartbreaking. But we accepted it eventually because life must go on.

With end of the show, we had to accept another reality. To watch our lovely pair - Jared and Jensen- go their separate ways. For 15 years, there never has been a moment where J2 weren’t in each other’s pockets. We saw them refusing to acknowledge personal space, saw them making heart eyes at each other, saw them going on dinner and lunch dates, saw them living together, getting married the same year, saw them grow their family together, saw them living in Austin together, saw them doing campaigns together, saw them golfing together, saw them being there for each other, making each other smile, saw them having each other’s back. We practically saw their love blossoming - for some it was a unique friendship and for some it was more than that. I don’t mean to point anyone out here, but the bottom line is that everyone of the J2 fans saw an ideal relationship between two people we loved the most. We choose to believe in what we saw. And for us to suddenly see them being away form each other was hard to digest. It still is!

But we chose to believe everything was good, because we believed what our eyes saw. The way Jared and Jensen talked about each other in interviews even after the finale, the way they spoke at the virtual conventions, the way they interacted on social media and even the few instances of fans seeing Jared in Colorado exactly the time it was Jensen’s birthday, the way Jared knew about Jensen’s Soldier Boy suit before anyone else, and I could mention countless such instances that made us believe that the relationship these two idiots share was special and perfect. The kinda thing that can be called “made for each other.”

One fine day, we came to know not everything was as we believed it to be. It turned out Jensen did something by not telling Jared anything about it when the latter has been an integral part of the original concept. Everyone was beyond shocked. Each one of us felt betrayed, angered, pained at the way our beloved pair had a public fallout. Some chose to take sides and some decided to leave the fandom while others decided to be angry and disappointed in Jensen. There was despair all around and no one knew what was going on behind the closed doors. The only thing we knew was Jared was hurt and Jensen was the reason behind it.

I won’t go into the what, why and how of the whole fiasco, because by now, everyone has their own theories as answers to these questions. I have mine too. I see these theories as some sort of “justification” from our side to make sense of the situation. It’s not wrong because we’re searching for answers. We’re also searching for answers we will never get. (Unless either of the J’s decide to speak on it.) But there are a few questions that I feel are important to be addressed.

Do we have the right to feel angry and hurt over the issue? Absolutely Yes.

Do we have the right to take sides? Of course.

Are our feelings of hurt and pain that we resonated with Jared valid? Hell yes.

Everyone has a coping mechanism and the initial emotions or reactions were absolutely valid. However, it’s what happened later that has me thinking.

1. Do we have the right to know what happened behind the scenes? Probably but we would never. There lies the uncertain feeling of “how should I proceed from here?” and “How do I feel about it?”

2. Do we have the right to demand an explanation or an apology from Jensen? Absolutely no.

3. Do we have the right to throw vile words at/abuse the people involved? Hell no.

I would like to look at the whole thing in perspective. This has affected many of us and perhaps woken us up with a hard slap of reality.

For all of the 15 years, we’ve been fed with the “happy couple” image and for us, maybe the boys became the image of the “perfect couple with no issues” and when there was a very public spat between the two, there was a serious damage to our perception. This is where people didn’t know how to react. Many spoke out their emotions clearly, many were sad, confused and scared and many decided to be bitter. Few decided to leave I have no problem with it, I don’t judge, as I said earlier everyone has their own coping mechanism.

I feel like the issue is, as fans we are here to celebrate and have fun and not become entitled to know the truth or demand answers from the celebrities. Sometimes we forget entitlement is a delusion based on self centeredness. The demand to know what happened or the demand for Jensen to apologize in a particular manner cannot be the way we deal with the situation.

We need to consider the fact that the people we idealize, in this case J2, are also that - “people” or “Humans” to be more precise. Humans make mistakes. Just like we do in our everyday life. the problem with celebrities is, anything they do feels like “more than life” size. Even a small compliment makes us go “aww” and a disagreement/misunderstanding makes us go “Omg! They’re enemies.” It’s normal reaction because we hold them in the highest regard like “celebs/fan favs can do no wrong.” So, when this happened with J2 everyone had a reaction like this was the end or it has ruined it for me, or I’m done with this fandom. There were also a few reactions like anger and entitled demands. I always say false sense of entitlement always brings you doom rather than happiness.

The fact remains, Jensen disappointed all of us. A huge blow was dealt to the “happy couple” image and we all were left floundering. I was observing the reactions and I suddenly realized I’m far too much invested into the lives of two actors whose lives are already complicated. I mean, after the entire chaos, I too felt sad, angry and disappointed. It was upsetting me more that it should. Fandom is a space where I come to escape from real life. But if Fandom starts affecting my real life so bad as to make me upset, I felt like there’s something wrong. It shouldn’t be the reverse of what I would rather have the fandom to be, which is a happy place or the place where I go too relive my stress. And if the apparent relationship status of two actors affects me this much, it’s time to take a step back, evaluate and then proceed.

the other day, I was reading a twitter thread full of theories and according to the fans who was right and who was wrong and etc, etc, etc. I found, it shouldn’t matter to me to judge who was right and who was wrong. I’m in no position to judge who felt what, because in no way am I the party involved in the conflict. It’s a conflict between J2, who had some issues obviously and they manages to talk about it and even let us know that they are good. Now, I personally, felt like if the J’s claim they’re alright, then why should I doubt or even theorize about how their friendship has taken a toll. If someone tells me they’re fine, I usually believe them to be fine, unless I see something contrary to the fact. In this case, either of the J’s didn’t comment further on the matter and just as I was watching everyone calm down, other elements decided to jump into the muddy waters and splatter it everywhere.

The interesting thing about Kripke’s tweet was “assumption.” This word “assumption” is a very interesting word and has the capacity to blow up even the most calming waters. So, Kripke assumed, and then based on Kripke’s assumption, everyone else assumed. I’m just pointing out what happened, in no way am I justifying any of the J’s behavior. Just a thought. So assuming Kripke was right we assumed Jensen deliberately kept Jared out of the project and the issue escalated even more. Everyone was jumping the gun and then as miraculously Kripke has tweeted, he also deleted those tweets. Then came the damage control.

When Jensen and Jared had tweeted about the “truce” I thought the matter was supposed to be put to rest. Perhaps Kripke deleting the tweets and then Jensen going back to promoting his prequel was their way of brushing off the conflict and focusing more on what was more important to them: The Winchesters prequel. Another theory to add to the already existing million ones..lol.

Does this mean we should be hateful and abusive towards Jensen? No.

Our feelings of disappointment are valid but it doesn’t mean I have aright to be abusive at Jensen. No matter how he acted nothing gives me the right to throw abuse at anyone unless I’m the one who’s directly involved in the conflict. They way I see it, as a fan, I was hurt and caught off guard but I am in no position to judge either Jensen or Jared, especially when they say they’re alright. I decide to trust them. I choose to trust them, just I chose to decide they were the made for each other friends in the past.

There’s this another saying that I remember “To Err is human, to forgive is Divine.” It’s not as if either of the J’s have been flawless as a person. Everyone has some shortcomings and so do they. As a fan, I need to find the same level of “acceptance” that I do when I’m in the similar situation in real life. As a fan I need to accept that Jared and Jensen too are going to have some issues going ahead in life. Just because they are actors doesn’t mean there won’t be miscommunication or misunderstanding. They’re not perfect. They are bound to make mistakes. Just think that because this was a very public fallout, we came to know about the disagreement, try to think that in past 15 years how many times did the J’s had these disagreements and had to deal with them without telling us? No matter how huge fan you are, no one can ever claim that they now what goes behind the scenes in the celeb’s lives and same goes with J2.

We know what kinda place Hollywood is, and the J2 tinhats already have theories about bearding and stuff, and yet the J’s have remained positive throughout. There must have been contracts and papers and the “powers that be” who are involved in regulating their lives. It’s one of the many countless possibilities. We don’t know many things about their lives (even we’d like to claim otherwise). The information we get is just a 0.01% of what actually is happening. All we do is “assume” on the basis of their SM interaction or the way J2 appear in public. It’s all imagery.

They’ve been a source for inspiration for many. So, a public fallout doesn’t mean we should overlook the past. But we choose to look at it in a way that is suitable to us. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. If some of us feel like siding with Jared, it’s all good and if some of us feel like siding with Jensen, it’s all good. It’s their personal opinion and no one has the right to judge them or call them out for that.

For me, I’ve come to a conclusion that the secured bubble that I was living in has finally burst and given me a chance to look at things objectively. No matter what happens in future, I’m here to stay as long as I enjoy the fandom. If I let it affect me more than is plausible, perhaps then it’s time for me to rethink about the power I give the Fandom over me. Because it’s my choice. I alone have the choice to either let the negativity affect me or see the positive side. There’s a saying that goes, “You yourself alone are your own enemy and your true friend. The choice is yours.”

If J2 claim to be alright with each other, then I choose to believe them. Reason is simple. Because it helps me find some peace. It helps me cool down my emotions and helps me go back to enjoying the little things in fandom that bring me happiness.

Don’t get upset with people and solutions because both are powerless without your reactions.

Let the drama continue....

After this, if you fell like unfollowing me, the door is always open.

In the end, whatever happens, happens for good. If it’s meant to be, then I’ll be the happiest and if it’s not, well, it’s beyond my control.

I love them both.

Peace and Love.

- A J2 fan.

#j2 #winchester prequel #my opinion #j2 tinhat #I believe j2 are going to be fine #supernatural #spn #my thoughts #no hate

37 notes · View notes

amwritingmeta · 3 years

Text

15x20: Oh fuck it’s actually really good. Dammit Dabb.

So I slept. And waking up the first thought in my head was... but there is this open ending with them all in Heaven and Cas not a stated angel even, just a helper to Jack...

And then I felt the need to watch the episode again. Because of how I’ve said, perhaps not for always, but often enough, that this show of ours was never about Destiel, was never about Dean and Cas’ love story, and beginning to hope that the ending would be focused on them... it wasn’t fair. Not really. And I remembered reading somewhere that a big chunk of the internet accepted Cas’ death as final, and seeing posts to that effect and thinking LUDICROUS and NO WAY and knowing all along that it could all be denial on my part.

And oh boy was it.

I know there were plenty of us who kept that hope alive, and I’m thankful for you, but I made myself believe that he’d be back because I couldn’t imagine he’d die like that, or that the love story would end unreciprocated like that. And I guess, in a way, it still did, BUT... in another way, it really didn’t.

It’s not enough. Subtext is not the representation I’ve always hoped for, but it wasn’t just erased either. And we got as much as we could get, because obviously Dean being textually bi and us getting an I Love You out of him was just never going to get green lit by the studio.

I’ve always believed the writers would’ve gone there if allowed. I think Cas’ love declaration underlines that they would’ve. But they weren’t given the opportunity, and I’ll lament it until the end of time, but it is what is.

What we did get, though, is quite beautiful. No, listen, IT IS.

There’s the emotional substitute Miracle Dog, getting so much LOVE from Dean, which I know most of us all went the big awwww at, no matter what we thought of the rest of the ep.

There’s the healthy way Dean is dealing with the loss of Cas, and of Jack, knowing that pain will never go away, and accepting it. Accepting it because he’s feeling worthy of moving on without them. He’s no longer attaching his self-image to the perceived failure of protecting others. He’s letting them go, believing that they may meet somewhere further down the road.

But looking at the finale for what it is, rather than for what I wanted it to be (cardinal sin omfg my emotions really ran away with me and I wish I could’ve been more level headed and come on here with this positivity and calm) (but) (no dice) (anyway) it’s just beautiful how Cas is in the background, not waiting, not really, because he’s busy preparing Heaven and fixing his home in ways that will actually mean peace AND freedom when the brothers are done.

Something Cas would not have been able to do if he’d not fallen in love with Dean. If he’d not gone through his journey. I mean. Those implications are highly satisfying.

Last night all I could think, ALL I could think, was that it’s not ENOUGH.

But it has to be. Because it’s not dismissive. It’s not erasing anything. It’s the same subtextual thread we’ve always been pulling on, and it’s there for us to continue to pull on, and that’s a goddamn gift.

I wish that 15x18 hadn’t been quite so in our face “kill your gays” buuuuuuuut that’s if you’re surface watching, yeah? Cas isn’t dead, for starters, and everyone was, obviously, brought back when Jack took Chuck’s power, so even if it wasn’t visually established that Stevie and Charlie are back and thriving, it’s narrative fact that they must be. What it is, more than anything else, is what I read it as to begin with: a love letter to the love story, where we get the subtext of couples loosing each other so strongly stated that there’s no way we’re not meant to understand that Dean losing Cas is within that exact same context.

We didn’t get textual Destiel, but we did get the love story textually confirmed through Cas’ declaration, and we did get it subtextually confirmed, not hinted, subtextually confirmed through all those other couples losing each other, that the love story EXISTS there, on that level, for us.

Oh guys I feel so sad that I was so SAD yesterday. Why didn’t I just take a breath?? Guys, guys, guys, there’s such BEAUTY.

And Jensen.

Jensen in how he played that death scene. Jensen who kept it so even, so gentle, so... brotherly. These brothers have been through hell. Dean ending this way... it’s a travesty, but it also means he meant to go to the place where he doesn’t have to hope to see Cas again--because he will see Cas again.

And why didn’t Cas come right back to Dean once he was out of the Empty, why did he go off with Jack to fix Heaven?

I would say that it’s another underlining of Cas’ independence, and this his entire focus isn’t Dean, but, of course, I would assume the thought of Dean is ever present, and the rearranging of Heaven is as much about making sure Dean gets that freedom, as well as that peace, once he’s done as it is about Cas simply not being able to stand for souls being trapped in their memories anymore. Cas knows how to fix Heaven. I mean... that’s a fucking gorgeous and highly satisfying ending to his individual arc. And he’s with Jack!

Like. I mean. That implication that Cas is fixing Heaven with Dean at the back of his mind is quite head-exploding to me. And yeah, sure, that’s how I’m interpreting it, but all the ingredients for that delicious pie is left right there for us in this ending.

What about the legacy issue? What about found family? What about Dean finding happiness in death? What about Dean opening himself up to love?

Yeah, it’s not without issues, depending on how we interpret these things. Do I believe Dabb set out to write an offensive, horrifying, deeply problematic ending to this show and pretty much hand it over to the side of this fandom that has always been the... well, shall we say, less stabile?

No. I kept saying yesterday that I just didn’t understand what happened, I didn’t understand why our writers room would choose THIS ending, I couldn’t fit the pieces together. That was on me, not on them. Get me?

Interpretation is deeply subjective. It’s personal. And it’s tainted. Always tainted, guys, and there’s no way around that. It’s not perfect and it’s not absolute and all the writers can hope for is that their core message will get across strongly enough to avoid misunderstanding.

I misunderstood the intention yesterday because my interpretation was tainted by what I wanted and felt I needed from this narrative.

For years I’ve refused to put expectation on the story because I know what that does to one’s perspective. It’s futile to engage with hopes and wishes on a deeper level because the show will never deliver exactly what you want. It’s delivered stuff in the ballpark enough times for me to dance alongside it, but to place so much expectation on this finale was just... oh man. Bad.

I take full responsibility. :)

What about the legacy issue?

The legacy is that you live the best life you can and you end up in happiness, with the people you care about. You LIVE. Nothing about Dean’s death is prescribing dying to get what you want. We have it established that Dean is not suicidal in any way, that he’s mentally stabile and that he’s carrying on without Cas, even though he thinks about him. Not living would make the sacrifice pointless.

What about found family?

Found family was meant to be a part of this ending, but due to COVID (I’m assuming along with everyone) we didn’t get a collection of oldies and goodies at the Roadhouse. We got a father figure to signal the father/son thread that this finale was pulling on, a thread always tied so tightly around Dean and Sam and underlined for us in this episode. The codependency finally broken because they were ready to let each other go. Not forever, because that would’ve been tragic, but for now.

What about Dean finding happiness in death?

The implications of Dean having to die to be happy are quite dark, I know that, but he was never going to hang it up. Not entirely, right? He would never be able to rest on Earth. And he’s always afraid. So instead of spending a lifetime alone, growing into a crusty Bobby (who lost the love of his life too early too), Dean got to go to the place where his happiness actually is. He got to go where Cas is.

I mean, that’s my interpretation here, but rather than set both brothers up with a love life and families and all that, we got a Dean who’s lost the love of his life and is dealing with that loss as best as he can, but who is also ready to go when it’s his time. He wasn’t expecting it to be right then, that day, and he says as much, but he’s ready. As long as Sam is ready to let him go. And Sam isn’t, but he does, and Sam deals with that loss, and finds his way into life and living and loving and happiness in a way that Dean simply wouldn’t have been able to. Because he lost the love of his life.

And Dean waited for Sam to show because of course he would. Sam was the only thing missing: Cas, and Jack, and everyone else Dean has ever loved and cared about, were already in Heaven. For the show to go on, Sam had to return too.

Hope.

That hopeful ending that I, and so many, many of us, have always wanted. Sure, everyone’s DEAD, which, you know, bummer, but they are at peace, they are together, and they are done sacrificing, bleeding and dying. Isn’t that remarkable? Isn’t that the greatest reward? Love and happiness and togetherness. Forever!

And for this fandom, we got what we hoped we’d get, right? An ending open enough for us to keep returning to this narrative over and over and over.

Let me formally apologise for the despair of yesterday. For all of you still feeling it, I send you so much love. Know I understand, I honestly do, but I hope, perhaps, some of these words will offer a sliver of comfort.

So, this is first impression based on second watch of 15x20 positivity. Let me know if anything hits right or hits wrong and let’s talk. <3

#spn meta #spn 15x20 #dammit dabb #positivity #spn finale positivity #spn finale #destiel #dean #sam #cas #jack

146 notes · View notes

mlovesstories · 4 years

Text

Feeling the Burn Part 3

Warnings: cussing, teenage rebellion, angry Jensen and angry reader

Words: 2400

Summary: The honeymoon is over…

Tag List

Ask Box

Masterlist of Masterlists

“Hey,” Danneel stroked Jensen’s face. “Gotta wake up, baby.”

“Why?” He rolled over with a whine.

“Dinner. I know you want to sleep but you need to get back in your schedule. Come on. YN made us dinner.”

“Did she poison it?” Jensen grinned.

“I did no such thing!” YN laughed and walked into the room.

“Busted,” Danneel helped Jensen sit up.

“Thanks.”

“I cut up the chicken for you. Bigger pieces though so that you can use your fork easier,” YN grinned, proud of herself and Jensen’s progress.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” He stopped. He didn’t want to cross a boundary. “I’m sorry, YN. I just meant it as a compliment. I didn’t mean to overstep with the nickname.”

YN stopped, thinking.

“It’s okay. I just haven’t been called that in a while. Recently it’s been bitch, preppy princess, or whore.”

“Who in the hell called you that?!” Danneel stepped forward.

YN stepped back, ashamed that she shared the information.

“My parents…”

“You know that not right, right?” Danneel said quietly.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Good. You are none of those.”

_______

Summer

“You can work your normal hours. Four a day, but that’s it, you hear me?” Jensen told YN.

“But I’m out of school, and I have more time!” YN resisted.

“Exactly,” Danneel walked into the stockroom.

“But that means I have more time to work!”

“You don’t always have to be working or doing things, YN!” Jensen spat back.

“You do! You fly everywhere and are always busy with the show or conventions, or-”

“That is not the same, and you know it! I have to do those things. You don’t. You are sixteen. You need to go to parties and cause trouble with your friends.”

“Stop trying to do that to me! You’re the one who started this stupid brewery anyway! You made the choice to be busy! I am busy because I have to be sane!” YN growled back. A staff member walked in to grab extra supplies. She backed out quickly after hearing raised voices.

“It’s an investment- nevermind. Look, you need downtime. Everyone does. That’s just how it works. If you go and go, you will wear yourself out, kid. You don’t have to be busy and away from the house. Please, you have to learn to relax,” he calmed and sighed, feeling like he made his point.

“Whatever. I have to go to work now. I’ll be home on time, jerk,” YN stomped off.

“Go home,” Jensen shouted after her. She froze. “If you’re acting like this with me, you’re not ready to be with those kids outside. Cool off.”

“I am not going home! This is the only thing I have left! Just leave me alone!” Without turning around, YN continued her walk to the dining area and out the door.

Jensen wiped a hand over his face.

“This is what happens. The foster class teacher said the outbursts were normal. Especially since we are through the honeymoon period.” Danneel walked into his arms.

“Yeah. I think she just wants her life to be normal. We’re trying to give her normal.”

“I know, and we’ll keep trying.”

_________

YN walked through the sand area to find some of her classmates at the lunch tables. She smiled out of professional courtesy. As she continued on, she heard them change their conversation.

“She lives with the owners of this place, I think.”

“The Ackles, right? Moocher. She can’t live with her parents because all she did was cause trouble, I heard. She will get kicked out eventually,” the person laughed.

Shocked, YN took a deep breath. Tears sprang forward, but she held them in and continued on to take used napkins from the ground to the trash cans.

“I think she just uses them. Ever since then she’s had nicer clothes. She drives that nice SUV too. I heard that fire started because somebody had it in for her. Or her fake dad.”

“Jensen? She ain’t good enough for them anyway. They’ll get tired of her.”

YN walked into the break room to pick up her personal items before going back to the Ackles’. She saw Danneel working on her computer sitting on the couch.

“I’m going home. I’m grabbing dinner for myself. I’ll see you later,” YN said quickly.

Danneel looked up confused. After looking at her watch Danneel said, “Your shift doesn’t end for another hour. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’ll make up the hour or more if you want me to. I just need a sec.”

YN walked out quickly before Danneel could object.

Jensen stood in the foyer as YN entered. He flicked the lights on as she tried to remain quiet.

“Dammit.” YN was found out.

“You left your shift early. Employees get in trouble for that,” Jensen stared her down. “Why?”

“Emergency.”

“What’s the emergency? I am your boss, remember that.”

“Let me by,” YN tried to pass Jensen. He blocked her access to the stairs.

“You’ve been crying,” Jensen said plainly.

“Move.” YN tried to pull him away from the stairs.

“Ha,” he laughed.

“Move the hell out of my way!”

“Why? You never act this way. What happened?”

“I’m a charity case, let me go get my stuff! I’ll leave you alone. Here are the keys to the Explorer. Sorry I was such a shithead.”

Jensen’s body relaxed as he confusedly took in her statements.

“What the hell are you talking about, kid? You’ve never been an inconvenience. We took you in because you needed somewhere to stay. Not because we are who we are in the eyes of others. We’re regular people who try to take care of people they care about. That’s all.”

“The girls- They were being-” YN stopped and dropped her things against the wall.

“What? Tell me,” he said quietly.

“Girls from school. They think I’m a moocher.”

“Oh. You know that you aren’t. You try to pay for everything. Even though we won’t let you,” Jensen smiled. ‘It sucks when others misperceive you or make judgements.”

“Yeah,” YN whispered. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“I wouldn’t have liked it either. Plus, high school girls are awful.” He pulled her into his chest after he saw her body relax.

“True.”

“Now, about leaving work without authorization…”

“I’m sorry, Jensen. I really am. I just couldn’t take it.”

“You work an extra hour tomorrow, okay?” He looked down at her to watch her reaction.

“Yes, sir.”

He saw her eyes soften and a tear fall out of her tear duct.

“Hey, none of that. You’re okay.”

“I know. That’s what scares me. I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared. Just know that we are here. Hopefully you aren’t scared with us.”

“No, never. Just don’t like the situation.”

“Gotcha. We do care. We promise.”

“I think I need a hug. Please.” YN opened her arms.

“Come here,” Jensen reciprocated and squeezed her tightly.

—————

“I found this in my cubby at work,” Danneel offered a piece of paper to Jensen.

“What is it?” He flipped it over to read it. “She’s a skank.”. Jensen looked up to see Danneel’s face.”Who? Huh?”

“I don’t know.” Danneel huffed and crossed her arms. “YN? Maybe?”

“But why?” Jensen cocked his head to the side.

“It’s just so random. But then I checked yours and found another one that said YN was a criminal. Outta nowhere. Who would say these things?”

——————-

FALL

“Hey,” Danneel walked into YN’s room. “You seem more tired than usual.”

“The kids have been more crazy since they are out of school. They throw sand at each other, or the parents just don’t pay attention. I hate being a parent when I’m not even their parent.”

“Sorry, kiddo. Do you want to move to being a hostess?” Danneel pulled out YN’s computer chair and sat down across from her. YN shook her head. “Has everything been going okay? You haven’t been teased or anything, have you?”

“Just what I told Jensen. That’s all.”

“Hey,” Danneel quietly walked into YN’s room. “I got a notification from that grading system thing that you got a D in your math test.”

YN’s face turned red.

“I didn’t study. I’m sorry.” YN stated quickly.

“Why do I not believe that?”

“I-”

“Your schooling has never been an issue before. What’s going on?”

“I am sorry!” YN sobbed. “I can’t- I won’t let it happen again, okay? Don’t be mad at me, please!” The girl sobbed in her hands.

Danneel saw how YN’s body rocked with emotion, her chest heaving.

“What the hell…” Jensen walked past the doorway.

“Shh.” Danneel asked him to be quiet. When YN realized Jensen was there, she broke out in sobs again.

“Don’t hate me!”

“Where is this coming from?” Jensen whispered to Danneel. “She’s not an emotional kid.” ‘

“She got a D. She won’t even tell me why.”

“HEY!” Jensen yelled. YN’s head snapped up and she let out a whimper. “Calm down,” he said quietly. “You’ll live. It’s one grade. That’s it.”

“You don’t hate me?”

“No,” Jensen squinted at her. “Should we be concerned?”

“It was the only time. I promise.”

“I’m assuming you think we would hate you because that is a reaction you’ve gotten before. Keep the D’s to a minimum, and we’ll be fine.” Danneel smiled and pulled Jensen out of her room.

YN wiped away her tears.

“Got away with it,” YN sighed, sad.

________

“Hey, I need to talk to you,” Jensen walked up behind his wife in the kitchen.

“What’s up, handsome?” She turned to face Jensen.

“I- I don’t want to come to conclusions, but has YN been acting funny?”

“Umm. I don’t think so. Why?” She put down her towel she was using to dry the dishes.

“She has been coming late to work, I know she’s also been staying inside the dining area lately rather than outside. Dee-”

“What?”

“Money has been going missing lately. I know she is saving for when she turns eighteen, so-” Jensen tried to speak quickly. “I know I’m reaching, but do you think-”

“What? No. How much has gone missing?” Danneel pushed gently against Jensen so that she could read his body language.

“Twenty to forty dollars each week. But it’s always during her shifts. I had the finance guy doublecheck. I don’t want to believe it, but…”

“Babe, we can’t just accuse her of-”

“Accuse me of what?” YN stepped into the kitchen after walking down the stairs.

“Nothing, sweetie,” Danneel tried to cover up their conversation.

“No, it’s something,” Jensen started. “You’ve been acting funny lately, and we want to know why.”

“What? I’ve been fine,” YN pulled at the hem of her shirt.

“Right, then why are you nervous right now? How come you’ve been failing in school? You’ve been acting funny at work, AND now we find out that there is money going missing during your shifts, so-”

“You can’t be serious? You blame me for EVERYTHING that goes wrong around here. I get that my grades have gone down, but my classes have been hard. And, I am not failing. I have B’s, thank you! As far as the money goes, why would I steal from the brewery? If I need something, I know you get money from the state for me, and I know you would help me out yourselves. I would NOT steal from you! Do you think that low of me?”

“No, it’s just that you haven’t been yourself, and,” Danneel tried to assuage the situation.

“Get to your room. Now!” Jensen stomped toward YN. She shrieked and ran up the steps.

“JENSEN!” Danneel followed him and pulled him back from the staircase. “What the hell was that? You realize you just sounded like her father who she doesn’t trust, right?”

Jensen’s eyes went wide.

“I- I didn’t mean it,” he stuttered.

“You better hope to God that you get to speak with her after what you just pulled.”

“Why?” Jensen asked on the other side of YN’s bedroom door.

“Why what?” She growled. Jensen flinched when he heard something hit her door.

“You aren’t yourself lately.”

“What the hell do you care?”

“Did you steal the money?” Jensen asked plainly.

“No.”

“I believe you.”

Jensen slid down the wall until he landed on his rear.

“I’ve been getting lower grades though.”

“You said your classes have been getting harder. It’s okay.” Jensen said quietly.

“I cheated on that test when I got that D. I got in major trouble. The kid I copied from I thought had studied. Apparently not.”

Jensen turned and twisted the knob on her door, pushing it open. Both individuals were seated on the floor with the door frame in between them.

“I felt so bad. I haven’t cared since. I’m just a screwup anyway. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be eighteen in a year and you won’t want me here. Why should I care?”

Jensen lowered his head. Looking at his sock-clad feet, he took a moment to collect his thoughts.

“Because you know you can. Sure, you shouldn’t have cheated, but that doesn’t mean your life is over. You know better. You can hold yourself to a higher standard and meet those goals. This was one time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Kid. You don’t have to be perfect. We’ll never expect you to be. Have you cheated since?” Jensen stayed his question without judgement in his voice.

“No. Learned my lesson. Although I’d probably be doing better if I did.”

“It’s okay to care. And as a father-type in your life, no cheating. Again. Understand?”

“Absolutely. Promise.”

“Grades should be improving from now on, yes?” He raised a brow and smirked.

“Yes.” She crawled over to him through the door frame. He opened his arms to her.

“No more.”

“Punishment?” YN backed away.

“This happened a few months ago, right?”

“Yeah?”

“No TV the rest of the day.” Jensen shrugged.

“But an episode of-“

“Nope.” He smiled.

“Fine.”

“Small price to pay, kiddo. And I’m sorry for yelling. I should have handled that differently. Please forgive me.”

“Okay.”

“Dinner’s almost ready, based on the smell.”

YN smelled the air.

“Yum.”

—————

“Hi, what happened?” Jensen stormed into the prestigious building. I got a call regarding YN LN? I’m her foster dad.”

“Hi, sir. I’ll walk you back.” A secretary guided Jensen to a new area, passing the security point. He saw a man with a suit and tie walk in the police station room, badge on his hip.

“Hi, Mr. Ackles. I need to talk to you about YN…”

___________

FEELING THE BURN

@supraveng

Forever Friends (Everything):

@katymacsupernatural @unicornblood4ever @ellie-andthemachine @supernatural-crazed-girl

@fangirl-moment-x @empirialwolf @winchesters-favorite-girl @super100012

@waywardnewcomer @percywinchester27 @waywardsuns @supernatural-jackles

@mcallmestiles @sdavid09 @kingandrear @bellero

@rosiewinchester @seality @blogsnowflakeme @jaycc7983 @luci-in-trenchcoats

@cherryblossom1997 @because-you-never-know-when

@sleepylunarwolf @choosemyname *

@internationalmusicteacher @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @find-sammys-shoe

@encounterthepast @torn-and-frayed

@giggles1026 @xiumin-girl99

@strangedeerconnoisseur @sbcamp08 @mangueweaschester

@idksupernatural @silverstripe101a

@thevelvetseries @jennawinchester152a * @samsgirl93 * @supernatural3002 *

@tmiships4life * @breereadsthings *

@a-magey @vicmc624 @hookedinto-fictionalworlds @beatifuldisaster018

#jensen x daughter!reader #jensen x daughter #danneel x daughter #danneel x daughter!reader #supernatural #supernaturalrpf #mlovesstories #mlovesstoriesfeelingtheburn

92 notes · View notes

supernaturalmarauders · 4 years

Text

I’m sorry Jensen ackles x daughter reader

summary: You are jensens 15 year old daughter and your parents have been spending there time with your younger siblings. you start to become lonely and start thinking how everyone would be better off without you. Jensen and daniel get a call from your friend, raising her concern for you ,and they learn how bad your mentall health actually is.

Warnings: Possible self harm, suicidal thoughts, self hating language, attempted suicide, bullying, father jensen and mother daniel fluff.

Please if this is happening to you, or you feel like this tell someone. i know what it’s like to keep your feeling bottled up. please don’t do it. my messages are always open

xxxxxx

you were sitting on your bed staring at the phone screen. it didn’t matter how hard you tried you couldn’t tear your eyes away from it. the hurtful words made you feel something. Everyone assumed That being Y/N Ackles made your life great. and of course your dad and Daniel loved you, but they were far to busy these days for you to bother them with your problems.

Ever since you were a child it had always been you and your dad. your mum didn’t want you so when she gave birth to you, she gave you straight to your father and ran. you were always a quiet kid, never causing any problems. but that meant you learned to keep your problems to yourself. your father was far to busy with his acting to deal with your miner todler problems.

when daniel came along your father had finally found love again. being 12 years old at the time you understood that they both loved eachother. She treated you like her child, and loved you as much as a mother should. you loved daniel with all of your heart, and so did your father.

When j, Zeplin, and arrow came along you felt complete. you had always wanted younger siblings, and you finally had them. you loved them, you really did, but sometimes you wished your parents would have more time for you.

2 months ago your family moved houses and you had to start at a new school. your siblings were all to young to start school, whilst you were starting your 10th grade. being 15 was hard enough, but having to start at a whole knew school was nothing good. normally you would have no problem making friends. everyone knew the name Ackles. sometimes you wished you had actuall friends who didn’t just hang around with you for the exposure. sometimes you wished you were lucky enough to score real friends.

but this time you knew it wouldn’t be the same. you knew from day one that you were not welcome at that school. from the very start you were called horrible names, and contantly hurt, shoved, pushed, tripped, and more when you were just collecting your books. you couldn’t add on to your parents stress and you knew that your siblings were to young to understand, so you kept quiet.

sometimes you would video chat (Insert best friend name here). your best friend from your old school. she was your friend because she loved you as a person, not because of your name. but you knew better than anyone that she didn’t need your problems adding onto her stress.

xxxxxxx

“Y/N dinner” called daniel from the kitchen. you wiped you eyes and switched your phone screen off. you pulled on you’re jumper and pajama pants and went down stairs. when you arrived you saw your mother feeding arrow and your father feeding zep. Jay was sitting at the table eating her pasta and watching a barbie movie on her Ipad.

“Your dinners on the bench Y/N, help yourself” Siad your dad gesturing to the bowel of pasta left for you.

“Thanks” You said taking a small portion of pasta and sitting next to jay. once Daniel noticed the little amount of pasta on your plate she nudged your dad on the shoulder, causing him to look at your plate.

“Are you not going to eat anymore” Asked Daniel worry evident in her voice.

“Sorry mum, i’m not that hungry” you mumbled playing with your food.

“Are you not feeling well honey” asked you dad, taking his eyes of zep.

“I’m alright, just don’t have much of an appitite” you said shrugging off the matter.

Your parents looked at eachother, more worry evident on there features. truth be toold they had a reason to worry. since you moved you hadn’t been eating as much as you should be. you play basketball so you needed to maintain your body. however since moving you had dropped basketball completely. you spen’t most of your lunchbreaks in the library, where food isn’t allowed. you had lost 20 kilograms in the past 2 months, which wasn’t healthy considering you were already small for your age. Your parent’s had been noticing the weight loss, but didn’t really question it considering that they thought you were just stressed. however 2 months in and you were still showing signs.

“Y/N, can you braid my hair please” asked jay giving you puppy dog eyes. you sighed.

“Course jay” you said letting jay lead you up to her shared bedroom, leaving your bowl of food untouched.

xxxxxxxxx

“I’m worried about her” said your mum once you had left the room.

“Me two” said your dad, concern clearly evident in his voice

“You don’t think she’s anorexic do you” Asked your mum placing arrow down in the high chair.

“I don’t hink so, she would have lost more weight by now. besides she would be excercising like crazy, she doesn’t seem to leave her bed much now days” said your father placing zepline in the chair opposite arrow.

“Maybe she’s going through exams, that could be why she’s loosing all the weight” said your mum, trying to find a reason for your weight loss.

“The school wrang me yesterday”. said your dad just as he remembered.

“You’re only telling me this now, what did they say” asked your mother.

“Her lunch pass hasn’t been used in over a month. they also said that she dropped out of basketball and drama, they were worried about her” said your dad.

“Maybe we should give her some space untill she opens up” said your mum cleaning up the dishes.

“Yeah maybe”. said your dad. he knew something was wrong, but he didn’t know what.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The following day at school you kept your head down and avioded the crowds of poeple walking the halls you quickly grabbed you’re books and headed to the bathroom. shutting the stool door you pulled up your jumper revealing the many cuts and burns running up your hip, you silently let a tear fall down you’re face knowing that you were so lost. you pulled back down you’re jumper and walked over to the mirror, your appearence looked tired. your hair looked dead and your eyes had purple bags under them, your face looked deathly pale and slim, far different from the girl you used to be. you washed your face picked up your bags and hastily exsited the bathroom.

after ariving to you’re first class you found your seat in the midle of the classroom and pulled out your laptop, you stopped when you saww it. the top of it was covered in notes full of hatefull words, drawn on in permanent marker, you opemed it to see more written on you’re screen.

you let the tears full freely down your face, you didn’t know why but you started reading them.

“GO DIE, YOUR PARENT’S WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU’

“I’M SURE YOURE SIBLINGS WOULD PREFER IT IF YOU JUST LEFT”

“ YOU DIRTY PIECE OF FILTH, NO ONE LIKES YOU, JUST GO BACK TO THE HELL HOLE YOU CAME FROM’

‘ YOU FILTHY SLUT, GO SPREAD YOUR GERMS SOMEWHERE ELSE, YOUR NOT WANTED HER SO DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND DIE”

You didn’t realise untill you finsihed that the whole class was laughing at you. because it was a study period you didn’t have an assigned teacher so there was no one to tell them to stop. you packed up your stuff and headed to the library where you would signed in and set in the corner. sitting down on a bean bag you curled up and started sobbing. pulling out your phone you looked through the photos. the one of zeplin, jay, and arrow, sitting curled into you while you read to them. the one of you your dad and daniel when you won your first basketball game. the one of you and (Best friend) when you both won the science fair. the one of you and your primary school teacher when you recieved your graduation certificate. you started crying even more, knowing that things would never be the same again.

You were about to turn off your phone when you saw a call from your dad you wiped the tears from your eyes and answered it.

“Hey dad” You said as cheery as you could

“Hey bug, how are you” he said

“Fine, is everything okay” you said knowing that your dad normally didn’t call you during school hours.

“Everythings fine. me and mum are going to have to stay on set late tonight. the kids are with uncle jared. is it okay if you catch the bus home today. theres dinner in the fridge and the remote on the counter” asked your dad

“Of course” you said trying not to cry.

“okay sweetie, we’ll be home as soon as we can. i love you” said your dad hanging up the phone

“I love you to” you wispered to no one in particular.

xxxxxxxx

The bus ride home was horrible. you constantly had paper and balls thrown at you, and insults left right and centre. you packed up your stuff and headed off the bus afew stoped before your house, so you could clear your head. on the way out your bus driver grabbed your arm.

“You okay kid” he asked kindly a sad smile on his lips. you put on your fake smile a replied an “i’m fine” before exsiting the bus. you took your time getting home as you knew it would be hours before anyone else arrived. you unlocked the door and thre you backpack onto the kitchen counter, not caring that your laptop was in the bottom of the bag. you slowly made your accent up the stairs and into your room.

your room was at the end of the hallway, you parents room was the next door down and your sisters’ room was next to them, across the halls was your brothers room. you sighed and pushed open your door revealing the room that was once full of life. the walls were painted grey and all of your exam papers were lying scattered acroos the floor. your clothes lied on a pile next to the bed and your art supplies was scattered across your desk, like it was a month ago.

your bathroom looked spotless and clean, much different to your bedroom. you walked back into your bedroom and pulled up your phone, you had a binch of text messages from about 50 unknown numbers. you felt your heart finally shatter. you had never given anyone your number, and now the harrasment would never stop. you threw your phone onto your bed and slid down the wall, letting the tears fall freely. you couldn’t do it anymore. you didn’t have the energy, you just didn’t want to. it had taken everything you had to make it this far, and you just didn’t have the fight anymore, you let the rest of your tears fall before pulling yourself off your floor and sitting on the bed. feeling your phone vibrate you picked it up to see a message with a table. by closer look you saw a petition. not just any petitiion, a petition about you. the “Get Y/N Ackles to dye petition” that already contained 280 signatures,

you stared at your phones screen, emotionless. it wasn’t untill you felt the phone vibrate again that you saw an incoming call from (Your best friend) you letit ring a bit hoping it would go away, before you lost your patience and slid the answer buttin across.

“Y/N hey, hey, answer me, are you okay” asked your best friend in a panicked tone.

‘i’m sorry” you wisper into the phone.

“What are you sorry for, Y/N, tell me that your okay”. begged your best friend.

“I’m sorry but i can’t do it anymore... i love you” you say letting more tears fall down your face.

“NO Y/N stay on the line, come on , i need you, your so much stronger than this” begged (Your best friend).

“Goodbye (best friend) i love you” you say hanging up the phone and pulling yourself into the bathroom.

slowly you walk yourself into the bathroom, and drag yourself infront of the mirror.

“I’m sorry mum, dad, jj,(best friend) zeplin, arrow, but this isn’t the right place for me” you say, grabbing medication and a razor from the cupboard. wiht as much energy as you could muster you shover 2 hanfulls of pllis down your throat. after feeling your eyes drop, you dig the razor into your skin cutting the vain open and letting the blood pour freely.

“I’m sorry, i’m sorry” you say before you drift off into the land of unconciousness.

xxxxxxx

your dad had just finished filming the final sceen when he felt his phone buzz, he pulled it out but didn’t recognize the number, knowing it was probably business he answered it anyway.

“Hello, jensen ackles speaking” he said through the phone

“Mr ackels it’s (Best friend)” your father heard (best friend) through the phone. only it sounded like she was crying.

“Hey (best friend) is everything okay” asked your father genuinly worried.

“Have you been on instagram lately” she asked.

“Not lately” he said.

“Can you please have look” said (Your best friend) crying

you dad kept the call running while he opened instagram, what he saw broke his heart. he saw tones and tones of hate messages comments and posts about you. but the one thing that got to him most was a petition, saying for you to kill youself.

“(best friend name) wheres charlotte” said your father starting to tear up. he hear (Your best friend) started sobbing.

“I was on the phone to her just before, i think she’s going to commit suicide mr ackles, she hung up on me and won’t answer her phone” cried (your best friend)

your father felt stupid. how did he not notice, he let the tears flow freely.

“(Best friend) thank you so much” wispered your dad before hanging up the phone. and serching for another number

“Hey jensen” said jared through the phone

“Jared i need you to call an ambulance for our adress, Y/N is home and i got a call from her friend. you’re colser to home than we are, i think she’s going to comit suicide” said your father through the phone crying.

“Okay, i’ll head over there noe, i’ll leave the kids with gen, just go to the hospital, i’ll go in the ambulance with her” said jared hanging up the phone.

your dad walked over to your mum with tears running downhis face

“j, whats wrong” asked your mum, worried,

“It’s Y/N”

XXXXX

Your head was heavy, your throat hurt more than anything, and your body felt like it had been dumped. you could hear the beeping of a mechine and imidiately knew you were in the hospital.

“Y/N” you heard someone say from your bed.

“Dad” you said opening your eyes and adjusting to the light.

“Hey bug”. said your dad removing the mas from around your face so you could talk properly. You tried to sit but your dad pushed you back down.

“Hey don’t move, you need to rest” said your dad pushing you back down and planting a kiss on your head

“You gave us a right good scare sweetie” said your mum grabbing your hand from the other side of the bed. recalling the previous events you started sobbing.

“I’m sorry” you said your body shaking from the sobs.

“No, no, don’t appologise, we should be the ones appologising”. said your dad brushing your hair away from your face.

“but you didn’t do anything” you said.

“We wern’t the parents you needed. we should have realised something was wrong. thats our job. if (best friend) hadn’t called your dad you wouldn’t be here” said your mum kissing your palm.

“I’m sorry for scaring you. i just didn’t want to fight anymore” you said leaning into your fathers embrace.

“ I understand that Y/N, but we need you. were always here to talk. we know that you didn’t talk to us because you thought with the others it was to much. but nothings ever to much. please don’t scare us. talk to us. we are always here” said your mum jumping on the other side of the bed.

“I know” you said keeping your head down.

“ were going to work through this together, you don’t have to be strong all the time, but you need to talk to us, deal” said your dad lifting your chin up.

“Deal” You said smiling.

“Good, we love you bug” said your mum planting a kiss on your head.

“I love you both two” you said. feeling happy for the first time in months.

#jensen ackles #father x daughter #suicide #supernatural #dean #sam and dean

40 notes · View notes

coffee-obsessed-writer · 5 years

Text

When You Least Expect It: Part Two

Part One

Jensen x Reader

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all.

Part two is from Jensen’s POV. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.

Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify) **Songs & lyrics used in this part are by April Smith & The Great Picture Show ** Some are just songs I imagined playing or being played as the story took shape in my imagination, or they are songs actually being used in the series. I will link them when that’s the case. Hope you enjoy it! xo

Series Summary: After a hard breakup, Jensen decides to throw himself into organizing a Music Festival in Austin that is meant to raise money for a few of his most cherished charities and organizations. As he throws himself into planning it, he stumbles upon a spirited, undiscovered performer, who he convinces to come aboard to help plan and coordinate the event with him. What transpires after that takes both Jensen and his new friend, by surprise. But when their respective pasts come back just before the event kicks off in Austin, they will both have to decide if the unexpected feelings are worth perusing, or if they should just walk away and go on with their lives.

Series Warnings: Language, Break-Ups, Angst, Fluff, Smut (that’s it for now)

WC: 7.1K (with song lyrics)

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online

Over the course of the next few hours, Y/N took Jensen through nearly every arcade, sweet shop and gift store that lived along the ocean’s edge. The rides weren’t currently running, but she was able to point out the ones that could come along with the traveling carnival Leo had promised to send to Austin the following Autumn.

Jensen launched question after question at her; he wanted to know everything from the history of the area to what its biggest attractions were. Y/N was an articulate and captivating storyteller, even though he sensed she wasn’t trying to be. The more she talked, the more he could hear the songbird he’d encountered the night before. He tried to get her to laugh a few times, throwing out a lame dad joke as a response to something or other, but nothing seemed to stick. Either she was the most professional tour guide to ever wear an Ozzy T-shirt, or she was just that unimpressed with his wit.

It was later in the afternoon when Jensen’s stomach really started to rumble loud enough that even Y/N heard it.

“Maybe we should grab a bite. The food stands were the last stop anyway,” she said and motioned for him to follow her.

“Sounds good. What do you have in mind?”

“Pizza is always great here,” she paused and pointed towards the Saw Mill. “They serve the biggest slices on the boards and their tomato sauce is like no other. Can’t get pizza like this anywhere else. But, I think you should try the lemon stand.”

“The what?”

“The lemon stand… they make these sausage and pepper sandwiches served with a side of potato wedges and fresh lemonade you don’t want to miss. It’s a staple around here every summer, and lucky for you, you are here on their last day of the season.”

Jensen’s mouth began to salivate at the idea and he nodded emphatically. “Yeah, let’s go there, that sounds amazing.”

What the locals referred to as the lemon stand, was really called Midway Steakhouse. A medium sized building right smack in the middle of the boardwalk. There was no line at the lemon stand, allowing them to walk right up to the counter. Jensen looked up at the menu and saw a handful of choices, but Y/N was lightly tapping his arm and shaking her head.

“No. Let me order for you, there’s only one thing you want to try. Trust me.”

Without waiting for him to answer, she turned to the man at the register.

“Heeyyy, Miss, Y/N! To what do we owe the pleasure!”

“How’s it shakin’ Miguel? I brought an associate up here to try the place. He’s getting a festival going in Austin next year and Leo is renting out a few vendors. Thought yours should be one of the few.”

Miguel waved her off. “Oh please, like my hermano would ever say yes to that. You know how he feels about Leo’s dealings.” He whispered the last word as if it would trigger a catastrophe.

“Well, we have time to talk. For now, though, can I get two sausage sandwiches, with peppers, onions and sauce, one side of wedges, and two medium lemonades, please and thank you.”

“For you, anything,” Miguel winked and turned to the two guys behind him. He barked out the order in Spanish getting the guys in motion. She turned back to Jensen and leaned back against the counter. “You won’t regret this, trust me.”

“God… the way it smells… I want this to be my heaven,” Jensen mused, finally getting her to smile a genuine smile. It didn’t go unnoticed but he also didn’t want to call her out on it. The longer they hung out, the more she was loosening up and he didn’t want that to stop. “So, what’s after this?”

“Nothing really, you’ve seen everything. I’ll head back to the office and get the printers going for another set of contracts. The messenger can drop them at the hotel. I suppose your people can contact Leo’s people--”

“My people?” Jensen snorted, amused by her word choice. “What makes you think I have people?”

“You’re a celebrity. All you Hollywood people have people.”

The side-eyed glance he gave her was enough to make her stand up a little straighter. He was slightly offended by the remark but also tried to understand that she didn’t know him at all. Y/N was most likely lumping him into an assumption she had about anyone that could be considered a celebrity.

“I don’t actually,” he mumbled but knew fully well she heard what he said.

“My apologies. I just assumed--”

“Well, you know what people say about people… who… assume--” he trailed off when he saw she was trying not to laugh at him. He found this sort of refreshing.

“Mhm,” she said. “Sorry I assumed you had people. What I meant was, all that’s really left is for the new contracts to be printed and sent to whomever you like.”

“You’re forgiven,” he replied, his feigned smugness causing her to roll her eyes.

“You’re… something,” she groaned and moved closer to the counter and called out over the noise of the kitchen. “How’s it coming, Miguel?”

“It’s going! You can’t rush perfection, Y/N!”

And Miguel was right. It took fifteen minutes, but when Jensen sunk his teeth into the sandwich, he realized then he would have waited an hour or more for one.

“Good GOD this is good,” he said, wiping a dollop of the sauce from the corner of his mouth. “This is like, sinfully, ridiculously good.”

“Right? Told you. Now, if Miguel’s brother can be convinced to go, you want the Midway Steak House at your carnival.”

“And how do we make that happen?”

“We? No. You and Leo, maybe. But not we.”

“You wouldn’t be willing to help me out with that?”

She took a bite of her sandwich, and let her eyes wander out over the ocean. Jensen was aware he was staring, but he couldn’t take his eyes from her. He brushed the crumbs from his hands and sat back in the plastic chair that Midway Steak House offered just beyond their building.

“I guess I’ll take that as a no…”

“That’s just not my place. I’m Leo’s assistant, that’s it. The more involved I get, the less time I have for the other things I have going on.”

“Like playing in bars?”

“For one thing, yes,” she finally met his gaze. “Music is the goal, being an assistant pays the rent.”

“Well.. it is a music festival we’re planning here.”

Y/N chuckled a little at that and her expression told him she was considering it. “I guess you have a point. But, you have to understand these people trust me. I don’t want to steer them into a situation where they end up getting screwed.”

“I completely respect that. But, didn’t you read the contracts? This isn’t some bullshit scam. They will be compensated.”

“How could I? You spilled tea all over them,” she replied with the rise of one, challenging brow.

“Touché,” he relented. “All I’m saying is that this,” he paused and pointed to his sandwich, “needs to be in Austin next fall for the festival. I have the perfect brew in mind to pair it with.”

“Brew? Is this a beer fest, too?” she asked and leaned forward on the table. Had he finally caught her attention?

“It is. Sort of. My buddy and I own a bar and brewery. The plan is to hold a three-day music festival, bring in a bunch of different hometown vibes along with their food specialties and pair them with a brew from our catalog. The music part draws them in, and it’s not just loud, live shit all day long. I want all kinds of bands and performers. We plan on having stages in different parts of the city, different , arks and venues.”

“Sounds ambitious,” Y/N said, then began to wrap up her sandwich. “I love these, but I swear I could make at least two meals from it.” She finished up her lemonade and wiped her mouth with the napkin.

“So, just change the subject then?” he asked, still hoping she would help bring on the Midway.

“Look, Leo has the juice to get Miguel and Javier to say yes. I’m not the person to help you with this one.”

“But I think there is a way you could help,” Jensen offered, sitting up and also wrapping up his sandwich. “You gonna eat those?” he asked, pointing at the few remaining potato wedges.

“No, go for it, champ,” she snarked and rested her elbows on the table. “How do you think I could be helpful? Because I’ve already taken you on the tour. That’s the about the extent of my helping hands.”

“I don’t know, exactly...” he started, then paused and considered for a moment what should next come out of his mouth. Should he straight up confess that he dreamt about her and felt pulled towards her? Does he tell her that since the moment they met, he felt like she was destined to come into his life?

No, you idiot, you say nothing of the sort, he chastised himself, then thought of the most ambiguous thing to follow up what he had started.

“...just a feeling, I guess.”

To this, she audibly scoffed. “Ok, Mr. Ackles--”

“Oh God, please no… Jensen, or Jay. Never Mr. Ackles.”

“Whatever you want. Point is, that’s a load of crap and you know it. You want my help because you feel like maybe we bonded today. That I can get you extras, or things you were afraid to broach with Leo. Use me to get--”

Jensen sat up tall in his seat and waved her off, concerned about the impression she was getting. “Absolutely not, Y/N. That never even crossed my mind. I’m thrilled with the deal that was struck with Leo. I’m being serious when I say that just from what you have showed me and told me about today, I’ve got a million more ideas of things that could work for this festival. Your ideas and your way of storytelling, it’s not so easy to find.”

She started to speak, but he didn’t want to give her the chance.

“Let’s not forget, I saw you sing last night. I don’t care that it was some Kansas and Petty covers, you sang your ass off and played even harder. You have something special, and I want to bring that to this event.”

There was a moment where he thought she may have a real emotional reaction, but instead, she just smiled, pursed her lips together and nodded. “Thanks. Sorry, it was a short set, but I was late for rehearsals.”

“Rehearsals? Do tell.” He leaned forward and smirked. “I’m intrigued.”

“Not in this life, buddy,” she mused and stood from the table. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to the hotel. My car is there anyway.”

“Come on,” he whined as he gathered up his leftovers then stood from the table. “What rehearsals? I’m just curious about you. If that puts you off or makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I just enjoy getting to know people, especially you.”

She had started to walk away, but then froze in place and sighed. Slowly, she turned back to face Jensen and he could see that she was fighting off something… a sarcastic comment… the urge to run… who knows. But when she did finally speak, he couldn’t have been more surprised.

“Burlesque,” she said, slightly defeated.

“Say what now?” he asked quickly, making it sound like all one word as he desperately tried not to break out in a giant grin.

Y/N sighed with a little chuckle. She fully faced him and committed to answering his question. “I work with a local burlesque group.”

Jensen felt his breath catch in his chest. He couldn’t help but immediately picture her in a costume and dancing some New Orlean’s style burlesque dance and making him regret the decision to swear off women for a while. “W--Wow! I’m genuinely surprised. You dance burlesque?”

“No. Noooo,” she laughed, and not sarcastically either. It was the laugh he wanted to hear earlier that day, the one that had made him so curious about her.

“I don’t dance. Not even a little. You ever see Seinfeld?”

“Yeah,” he replied hesitantly.

“I am Elaine.”

Jensen laughed heartily and the image of Y/N dancing like a spaz in a burlesque costume made him feel a range of emotions, from pure hilarity to being a little more than aroused.

“The group needed a fill in music director,” she continued with a shrug, ignoring his elation, “so I promised to help out until they found someone new. That was two years ago.”

“I think that’s pretty damn cool,” he mused. “When’s the show? I’d love to check it out.”

“Not until Tuesday night. It's nothing big, really. We do it at one of the clubs in town. Business is slow, it draws a larger than average crowd for this time of year, so…” she shrugged, as if what they were pulling off was no big deal.

“Sounds like a big deal to me. I wish I wasn’t leaving tomorrow night. I’d love to get in and see it happen. Maybe…” he stopped and waved her off. “Nevermind. I’ve taken up enough of your time today.”

He started walking in the direction of the hotel and stopped when he realized Y/N was still in the same place. “Coming?”

“You want to come to the rehearsal tonight, don’t you?” she mumbled more to herself than to him.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t turn down the invitation. But I know you went out of your way for me today. As much as I would love to come--”

“Oh, Jeeeesus…” she moaned and rolled her head back then let it hang for a moment before picking it up and staring at him. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a pain in the ass?”

“Yes. Often.”

Y/N reached into her back pocket and went over to the backside of the Midway Steakhouse. “Miguel, you got a pen?”

He did, and tossed it just right allowing her to catch it perfectly. She quickly wrote something on the back of a card and then tossed it back. “Gracias!”

She held the card out to Jensen. “Seven o’clock. Address is on the back. Come around to the rear of the building and be warned, we lock the doors at 7:05. Oh, and I guess I should warn you, most of them will know who you are and probably bum rush you for the usual autographs and shit.”

“That’s not a problem,” he replied, still sort of shocked that she was not only giving him permission to go, but her personal cell number, too.

“Ok, good. Look, I do have a few things I have to do first and I don’t need you tagging along. So, show up there at seven if you really want to watch the dress rehearsal. If you don’t no hard feelings. Despite how this day started, it didn’t end half bad and maybe you’re not as quite annoying as I assumed you would be.”

Y/N smiled, a slight lilt of surprise tugging at the corners of her mouth. Her expression wasn’t so hard and steely when she let her eyes connect with his. He liked her like this—softer and more of who she probably wanted to be, instead of who she had to be.

“Well, holy shit. Did I actually get you to crack a genuine smile?”

“I’m starting to regret this,” she warned, but he saw the teasing glint in her eye.

“Alright, alright. Run your errands. I’m going to go tuck this amazing sandwich in the hotel room fridge for later. I will be at the back door, no later than seven. Scouts honor.”

They both started to meander down the boardwalk in the same direction.

“It doesn’t count if you weren’t a Scout. So, were you a boy scout?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“No. But I played one on TV,” he joked, his jaw slacked open and his hands splayed wide animating his joke.

“Oh for fucks sake,” she laughed. “How long have you been wanting to use that joke, dad?”

Jensen’s face went deadpan serious. “Years.”

Y/N didn’t buy his expression for a moment and threw her head back in laughter. “You’re a shitty actor, you know that?”

When she winked at him it was more than a simple gesture to show him she was joking; it was when he knew he was more than a little smitten.

Seven on the dot, Jensen parked his rental car in the nearly empty parking lot of the address Y/N gave him. He could hear music booming from somewhere inside, and got a rush of adrenaline that made him nearly jog to the rear entrance of the Bamboo Bar. As he rounded the corner, there was a small group of people talking and smoking which ceased the moment they saw him.

“Well, hello there sugar. You lost?” a very tall, broad-shouldered woman with heavy makeup and too-tight corset asked as she breathed smoke into the atmosphere.

“I hope not,” Jensen chuckled. “I’m supposed to meet a friend here by seven.”

“Are ya now? And just what friend is this?” she scoffed and continued to smoke her cigarette.

“Y/N... “ he pulled out her business card from his back pocket and handed it to her. “Y/N L/N. She invited me to watch the dress rehearsal since I wouldn’t be around for the live show.”

“Ohhh, you mean Trixie Luna,” she chuckled and handed him back the card. “One sec, sugar.”

“Trixie Luna?” he repeated to himself and tried not to snicker. The more he learned about Y/N the more he liked her.

While the woman who made Jared look short, leaned into the entry and bellowed for Trixie Luna, Jensen looked back to the small circle of friends and offered a smile. They were all staring at him curiously, until finally, it happened--as it usually did--and one of them recognized him.

“Ooohh shit! I know you!! Dude, you’re from that show! The one about the brothers and the badass car, right?” the guy exclaimed, his face a swirl of excitement and disbelief.

Jensen chuckled and nodded. He held out his hand towards the guy in greeting, who took it and shook heartily. “That’s me. Jensen Ackles… nice to meet you.”

“Jensen, yeah, that’s it! I’m Ricky, this is Gwin and Sara, and that tall drink of water there is Mama Mia. What the hell brings you to our shit town?”

“Oh man, seriously?! This town is fantastic!” Jensen replied. “I’ve been here two days and I don’t wanna leave.”

“Dude, you travel the world and you like it… HERE? You sure you didn’t drink the sea water and get all loopy?”

“I’m sure, brother. I just think its an awesome town--”

“Yeah, so awesome that he’s dragging half of it back to Texas with him,” Y/N said, hints of playful sarcasm coating her tone as she leaned against the entryway. “So, you made it? I’m sort of surprised.”

“Not as surprised as I am, Trixie,” Jensen replied, and this time it was his turn to raise a questioning brow at her. He could see the slight embarrassment in her expression, but she wouldn’t let him have that satisfaction in front of her people.

“You found out my secret. Trixie Luna is my alias for all the shenanigans I like to do in the cover of night. Come on, Hollywood, let’s get you settled in as rehearsal really should be starting.”

The rest of the group snuffed out their cigarettes and quickly hustled inside as Jensen watched on, completely amused and downright ecstatic he was going to witness whatever was about to go down. He followed in line behind them and once inside looked around the large venue before being lead to a seat by Y/N.

“You stay put. I have to go put on the wardrobe while they warm up.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, giving her a mock salute. She rolled her eyes, as she normally did at him, and disappeared behind the stage.

It was only another minute or two before the house lights went dark and the stage was lit with a variety of colorful lights, and one simple spotlight shining on the tropical print curtain. As it pulled open, there was an elaborate, but clearly homemade set, that flowed from floor to ceiling. It was done up in bright colors and had a small spiral staircase on either side of the center backdrop which was painted to look like an old balcony reminiscent of the ones you’d find on the streets of Amsterdam.

The music kicked in and Ricky came out, dressed like a ringmaster to a circus, but now donning a sleek handlebar mustache. His song kicked off the show, soon turning into an ensemble number that left Jensen laughing and completely enthralled in the performance happening before him.

A couple of songs in, Mama Mia sauntered over to the table and sat precariously close to him. She leaned forward so her chin rested on her hand, as her elbow butted up against his at the table.

“So sugar,” she said just loud enough for himt to hear, “whatcha think of the show so far?”

“Its fucking great!” his genuinely big grin satisfied her and she relaxed before sitting back in her chair.

“Isn’t it? I swear, since Trixie took over, every new performance has been nothing short of amazing.”

“She directs the whole thing?”

Mama Mia nodded. “She does. Gathers the music, helps to put the little acts together, has total creative direction over the sets, scenery and costumes. The only thing she doesn’t do is choreograph the dances.”

“She mentioned not being a great dancer,” he chuckled.

“Oh, sugar, that’s the understatement of the year,” she laughed a throaty laugh and raised her one hand to the sky. “I love that girl somethin’ fierce, but I swear, she should never be allowed to dance. Ever.”

They had a good laugh over it and then turned their eyes back to the stage. Knowing how much input Y/N had on the show, left Jensen even more impressed than he already was. This woman was a gold mine of creativity and direction; someone he could absolutely use in his life. Just as the song ended, Jensen stood and gave a boisterous round of applause.

“Oh, it ain’t over. Trixie Luna herself still has two numbers to do,” she winked and wiggled her painted on eyebrows. “You must be someone special, she rarely gets up on that stage unless she’s standing over there in front of the band. And getting her in one of these damn corsets? Nearly impossible.”

“She’s gonna sing… in a corset?” Jensen’s breath caught in his chest. A flutter of excitement grew in his gut and rose, finally forcing the air out in a nervous chuckle. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he mumbled to himself.

The curtains closed and Jensen could hear the flurry of activity happening to change the set behind the curtain. When it opened up again a minute or two later, the main set was the same, but a lot of the extra stage dressing had changed. It was transformed into a cafe/shop. A handful of the cast were already on stage, acting like patrons enjoying coffee or browsing through the wares. The music kicked in and when the first few lyrics blared through the speakers, he instantly recognized Y/N’s voice. It brought ripples of goosebumps to his arms and his legs making him happy that they were covered and no one would notice.

“If you dig under my feet You will find things that you don’t want to see Things that I hide way down inside A menagerie of the tragedy that I’ve caused and all of my flaws And my demons oh if you’d seen What would you do… if you only knew…”

She slowly glided down the small spiral case to the left of the stage dressed in a 20’s style flapper dress that came to rest on her upper thigh. It was crimson red, and had a plunging neckline that left little to the imagination. The thousands of beads that were sown into the fabric caught the lights of the stage, making her glitter in grand fashion.

Once she reached the main floor and kicked into the chorus, Y/N moved across the stage, pretending to do terrible things to the people as she went along the way. She pulled up one girl’s skirt, on another she went up and grabbed her chest, all done in a playful, fun routine that Jensen was getting lost in. As Y/N sang on, he was less hearing the words, more watching her expressions as she sang each line, performed each terrible act.

The fact that she was the only one who wasn’t in full makeup, wasn’t lost on him either. The heavy makeup look of the burlesque troupe added to the show, but on her, the natural beauty and talent that radiated from her was all she needed.

When the number drew to a close, the entire troupe, was dancing around her, as she both sang and acted out the rest of her song. On the last note, he was on his feet, clapping and whistling, and grinning like an idiot.

“Still ain’t over, sugar,” Mama Mia chastised in a raspy whisper, and tugged on the hem of his shirt. “There’s one more for her with this bit, THEN you can ooze yourself all over her.”

Ignoring her, Jensen sat back down and watched as the act continued. A quick improvd bit between Y/N and Ricky went down, as his alter ego, Burt Trombone, stalked and gawked at Trixie Luna. The lighting switched and piano wheeled out from the side of the stage. A new piece of stage slowly dropped from the rafters above, dividing the set making it appear as if Trixie was in her own room now.

The piano kicked in and as she began to sing this new song...

Do you ever wonder if I'm dreaming of you In the night at my window by the light of the moon? If you ever wonder if I'm dreaming of you Well, I'm not, so you can stop wondering...

She slowly stripped out of her flapper dress, to reveal a very tight, black corset with lace leg garters that attached to thigh high sheer black pantyhose.

I've got better things to do Than sit around thinking all about you And hanging on to every little word that you said I've got plenty to keep me busy Without you running round in my head

The way she swung her hips swung and the way her arms dramatically flipped up her hair and ran down the length of her sides, was leaving him uncomfortably aroused in the middle of the nearly deserted club. By the time it was over, she’d left him speechless and so bewitched, wishing somehow he could go back and see it all again immediately.

Rehearsal ended about an hour later at which time the rest of the burlesque group flocked to Jensen, throwing questions at him, taking pictures and getting autographs. Y/N had changed back into her Ozzy shirt and jeans, and sat on the edge of the stage, slowly kicking her dangling legs back and forth. She looked on as her friends swarmed Jensen and when he looked up, noticed her watching, he thought she looked amused.

The bar finally cleared out leaving just Y/N, Mama Mia and Jensen behind. Y/N and Mama Mia started to clean up, and Jensen jumped right in to help.

“You don’t have to do that,” Y/N said as she swept the stage.

“I don’t mind, happy to help,” he said enthusiastically, before lifting the two bags of garbage and hauling them out towards the dumpster. He didn’t miss the little nudge and wink Mama Mia gave Y/N as he did so, making himself stifle the grin that wanted to emerge.

When Jensen came back in, Mama Mia had her coat on and was picking up her keys off the table. She hugged Y/N, whispered something to her, then sauntered over to Jensen and gingerly pinched his cheek.

“Sugar, you best come back here sometime and see me. Your laugh and applause is music to my ears,” she winked and seemed delighted that she made him blush. With that, she was out the door leaving him alone with Y/N.

“That was quite a show,” he said approaching her timidly.

She looked tired, but still radiant, and when she smiled up at him, his knees went a little weak. “It was a good rehearsal. I think you being here really lit a fire under them.”

“Your songs were the best part.”

Y/N rolled her eyes subtly and shook her head, gestures that seemed to be her go-to where he was concerned. “Stop sucking up to me, Hollywood. You’ll get your damn Midway Steak house at the carnival, okay?”

Jensen’s laughed echoed through the empty club. “I’d already forgotten all about that!” he exclaimed throwing his arms up in the air. “I swear!”

“Yup. Sure you did,” she teased and swept up the last of the remaining confetti. She looked at her watched and closed her eyes. “I can’t believe how late it is. Would you mind terribly giving me a ride home? It was nice earlier when I walked here, but I’m too tired to walk home now.”

“Of course. I’d be happy too.”

The flutter of exhilaration filled him, but again, he did his best to keep it under control. However, by the time they were actually in his car heading through the deserted streets of Seaside and up to the bungalows just outside of town, he could feel himself becoming more affected by her just sitting next to him in the front seat.

Y/N directed him to make a right on a dirt side road, and go until he couldn’t drive anymore. When he reached the end of the road, he parked the car and killed the ignition. They were at the place where the dirt ended and the sand dunes began. She got out of the car and didn’t seem at all surprised when Jensen followed suit. Not that he expected her to invite him in, but solely so he could take in the scenery before him.

It was well past midnight, and the moon had risen high enough over the ocean, that the breaking waves not more than a hundred feet away caught the reflection of its light on their crests. Seagulls could be heard cawing from down the beach, probably stalking the poor bar-backs taking out garbage from the few restaurants closing up for the night. Under their cries was the soft rumble of waves lapping at the jetties further up the beach. Above them, the sky was clear and dark, allowing the stars to twinkle in white brilliance. Jensen was transfixed and didn’t notice Y/N standing at his side until she spoke.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Huh? Yeah… its breathtaking,” he mused, his lips somewhat agape in awe, the little crinkles forming around the corners of his eyes.

She smiled softly and cast her eyes to the ground. “Feel like a little walk before you head back?”

He looked at her, taken back by her offer. All day he’d been the one to ask questions and try to get to know her, and now she was finally taking small steps towards him in return.

“Absolutely! But, are you sure though? I mean… I don’t--”

“Jesus Christ, Jensen. Shut the fuck up and talk a walk with me,” she chastised and looped her elbow through his, forcing him to start up the ramp through the dunes.

When they got to the beach proper, she kicked off her shoes and encouraged him to do the same before rolling up the cuffs of her jeans. She didn’t link with his elbow again, but she stayed close as they navigated their way down the beach closer to the water’s edge. It wasn’t as cold as he thought it could be, but a slight shiver ran up Jensen’s spine regardless as the suds ran over his toes.

After they were walking for a while, the breeze kicked up and Jensen could swear he caught the hint of music.

“Do you hear that?” he asked, pausing to look around.

Y/N chuckled, “I do. Up there--” she pointed to the houses that lined the beachfront. There was one, lone house lit up. The sliding glass doors were open, and yet there was no one moving around in the house. “That’s the Sinatra house. The people that live there leave their windows open on nice evenings and play Frank. There used to be a boardwalk that ran the length of the dunes, and people would walk down here just to sit on the benches, hear the music and watch the ocean. Superstorm Sandy ripped it apart a few years back, along with the house. But over the last few years, the community has helped to rebuild it. So now, every Friday and Saturday night, even in the off season, they will open the doors and play us some Frankie.”

Jensen listened to the story in awe, and found how tender her features had gone at the recollection to be endearing. He thought he understood how special this place was before, but after spending the day with her, and having this experience, it went much deeper than he could have dreamed. There was something about that kind of love and passion that he desperately needed in his life, and with that, his need to have Y/N around more was growing in leaps and bounds.

“You know,” he started, “that show you put on there tonight, was pretty spectacular.”

“That’s all them. They’re a seriously talented group.”

He debated on what came next. Jensen knew that if he pushed her too far, she’d probably retreat back to the more hardened woman he’d met earlier in the day. Yet, he wanted to be real with her, not give her some strangely compliant version of himself. That felt fake, and a girl like this could smell the stench of lies a mile away.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I gotta call bullshit there,” he said with a unapologetic shrug. “I know that was all you. Well, except for the choreography.”

She threw him some daggers along with her glance from the corner of her eye, but couldn’t resist a smirk, either.

“Mama Mia sold you out, by the way,” he continued. “She told me it was all you. Acting, music, sets, costumes… which by the way, you looked HOT in that dress, and what, uh, was underneath it.”

She ignored his last comment. “First off, Mama Mia exaggerates. I suggested set designs and they went with it. The music, yes, I am technically the music person. Costumes…” she gave a shrug and trailed off, leaving him to think that was also very much her choices as well but taking credit for it would move to prove him right. “Second of all, what does it matter what input I have? They’re the ones killing it on stage. Did you see those fucking heels the girls were wearing? That’s dedication.”

“Do you do that a lot?” he asked.

“What?”

“Deny how good you are... At singing, at… everything?”

She rolled her eyes again and he felt himself growing irritated now.

“I’m serious, Y/N.”

“Ok, you’re serious,” she said, sort of mocking his voice. “No, I don’t always do that. I know I can sing and play music. But that’s when it’s just me up there. I wasn’t solely responsible for that show, so I won’t take it.”

“I get that. I do… probably more than you know. That being said, you should take some credit, because you directed the hell out of it.”

“I’m not a director, Jensen.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Director is in your fucking title for the show... Music DIRECTOR! You know, I admire you, a lot. I have since seeing you sing last night. Spending the day with you just reaffirmed everything my gut told me the second you stepped on that stage. You’re so damn talented. Your creative vision is amazing and your ability to execute it… God damn, it’s incredible. But you have to be the most insufferable, stubborn woman I’ve ever met!”

Y/N found his exasperation slightly amusing, leaving him feeling further annoyed by her. Yet, it wasn’t enough to dampen his feelings for her. In fact, he wasn’t exactly thrilled at the affection he had for guitar girl growing. Feelings were messy and he’d had enough of that lately.

“That’s funny?”

“Very,” she replied.

The way she looked at him sometimes, so challenging—almost like she was issuing him a dare—was driving him crazy. He calmed the flustered arousal she caused and considered his next move. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Jensen finally asked her what he’d been wanting too almost all day.

“Here’s something that isn’t funny…. I want you to come to work with me. I know I mentioned it earlier, and while I wasn’t a hundred percent serious, I am now. I want--no--NEED your vision. Not just for this area’s part of the festival, but the whole fucking shebang. Move to Austin and help me plan this thing.”

She stopped walking and just stared at him. Her face read genuine shock. “Do you know how crazy that sounds? I’ve known you for a total of twelve hours.”

“So? What does that matter?”

“It just seems sudden. You don’t know me. How do you know I’m trustworthy or qualified? I could be a crazy psycho--”

“Are you?” he laughed, as the crinkles around his eyes took shape.

“No… but…” she shrugged, trailing off unsure of what else to say. “I’m not an event planner. You know that right? It’s important to me that you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jensen turned and kept walking further down the beach, kicking sand with his bare feet as he went, and still able to hear Frankie singing in the breeze.

After a few steps, he turned back to face her, still slowly moving backward and had shoved his hands down into his pockets. “Look. I get that it's sudden, and yeah, a little strange that I am asking you to uproot your life for a year to help me, a stranger, plan an event in a city more than a thousand miles away from your home. It's not lost on me how off the wall that is. But…”

He trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. He watched her expression change half a dozen times in the few moments he stayed silent. Jensen tried to find the best approach to convince her to say yes, but it wasn’t easy. Y/N was a tough sell, she wasn’t like the typical women he met, either on set or off. She was stubborn and unwavering in her resistance to his charms. Not that he was trying to capture her attention romantically despite the feelings that were growing, but he did want her to come work with him.

“Name your price,” he challenged..

“Desperate much?” she scoffed. “What makes you think money will do the trick? I may work three jobs, hustle pool on the side and play any gig that comes my way, but, buddy… money is not my kryptonite. You keep your cash.”

“Fair enough. What if I told you that you would be helping kids in and around Austin get a Creative Arts program kicked off in the city?”

She froze again. Jensen took a moment to notice how the nearly full moon caressed the lines of her face as she stood motionless, her mind racing in thought. “Wait… that wasn’t in the paperwork. What program are you talking about?”

“It was, actually. Not sure exactly where, but with so many area businesses pitching in, and people coming in from all over the country, we thought the residual funding could be used to purchase a building and renovate it. Then giving it to a Board of Trustees that will be entrusted to run the Austin City Creative Arts Council.”

“Wow,” she mused, clearly impressed. “That sounds amazing. As a high school theater geek, I thank you for that. But, that doesn’t mean I need to move halfway across the country for a year to help you plan it.”

“Maybe, but it would be a hell of a lot of fun,” he smiled and nodded in a way that made him look like a kid himself.

“You don’t take no for an answer, do you?”

“Not usually. Especially when I think it's important.”

“Me working for you on this, that’s important?” she paused in consideration. “Ok, I’ll bite. Make me an offer. What does this job entail?”

Jensen had a moment of hope and couldn’t hide the smile that flashed across his face. “Alright…” he began to contemplate everything he would happily do to get her to say yes. “I’ll get you a place to live with a year lease. Plus a car to get around. Salary is negotiable. I’ll pay for your move and whatever else you need to come out to Austin. Flights back home once a month if you want. What else?”

“What would be my role, exactly?”

“Creative Director? I mean, whatever you want your title to be, you got it. I want you to help me with making it fun, and unique. Definitely help me with music—help me find it, plan it, convince other artists to come out and play. We do these conventions, all over the country and I can’t tell you how many people come up after the Saturday Night Specials and tell us about their own band, or music. I want those artists to come out and play, too.”

“They’re already coming to you, how would my presence help at all?”

Jensen just starred, half flabbergasted half amused, at the resistance she was giving him. “You know, most people would jump at this chance.”

“I’m not most people, Jensen.”

“Clearly. I guess that’s why I am asking you and not anyone else.”

That seemed to grab her attention and as they continued to walk further down the beach, she grew quiet and all he could hope was that she was honestly contemplating his offer.

“Alright,” she said, but stopped walking. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll consider it on one condition... “

“Name it. Anything.”

“You may be sorry you said that.”

“Trust me, I can see the value you of having you around as this thing gets worked out. I am willing to do anything--short of murder and armed robbery--to make this happen.”

“Ok…” she said and grinned in a way that made him, only for a moment, regret the anything part of his statement. “I want you to strip to your underwear, jump into the surf and sing the first verse to Joy to the World.”

Jensen’s face stuttered through a range of emotions as the lines of his forehead pinched together in confusion. “I’m--wait, what?”

“You heard me,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest. “Strip, plunge, sing. Do that, and I’ll come work for you.”

“Jeremiah the bullfrog song?!” he asked again, curious as to why she would pick that song. But then he saw the challenging gleam in her eyes again, and it was all he needed. Holding her stare intensely, he discarded his shirt and jeans, leaving him only in a pair of dark blue boxers. She raised one brow as he silently questioned her directions with his own expression.

“Chicken?”

“Not even a little,” he said and turned to face the ocean.

Before she could say anything else, Jensen tore across the sand and dove head first into the chilly, October surf. The moment he popped up from the water, he threw his hands up in the air and began to dramatically sing the song she requested. The chill of the water gave him a much needed adrenaline rush and as he continued singing, he got more and more animated about it. He could hear her laughing and the sound of it was all he needed to keep going.

Rounding to the last repeat of the chorus, Jensen finally started making his way out and the closer he got, he realized she had recorded him on her phone.

“Did you video that?” he asked, half freaked, half pissed.

“I did,” she chuckled and played it back, showing him the screen.

Jensen gathered up his clothes and started putting them back on. “What the fuck for?”

“It’s about trust, Jensen. I’ve been burned by a lot of people. Family, friends, lovers, business associates… I’ve learned that trust isn’t just something to hand out like business cards. I want to trust you, because I think you’re a good person. But I need to really believe it. So… if you want me to trust you enough to give up my steady work and life here, to move halfway across the country for a job that will be done in a year. You need to trust me that I won’t post that video online.”

“Sounds more like blackmail to me,” he teased and pulled his shirt back over his head, beginning to shiver from the water.

“Maybe it is a little, but part of trust is believing that I am a good person, too. I wouldn’t just release that to the public if you screw me over. That’s the difference between it being blackmail or not.”

Jensen snorted a laugh and realized that Y/N wasn’t like other girls at all. He knew she was different, definitely special, but she was also very self protective and self reliant. She had a way of thinking around things that he found fascinating. If she were to give up her life in Seaside, and move to Austin for him, it was a huge deal and not just something she would do on a whim.

“I actually get that,” he mused. “So, does that mean you’re taking the job?”

“Looks that way,” she said and stuck out her hand to his to shake. “You set me up there, pay for the move and promise a one-year contract and we got a deal.”

“Deal,” he said and took her head in agreement.

The moment his fingers wrapped around her petite hand, he realized that this woman—this incredible force of nature that blew into his life like the infamous Superstorm Sandy—would leave him in a wake of wreckage. The question was, would it turn up unexpected treasure or just a mess he would eventually have to clean up. Either way, he didn’t care. Y/N said yes and that’s all that mattered to him.

Everything Tags: @kazosa // @sorenmarie87 // @lefthologramdeer // @his-paradox // @letsby

SUPERNATURAL TAGS: @wings-of-a-raven // @negans-wife// @mrsbarnes-rogers // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk// @babykalika2001 // @superwhovianfangirl81 // @toobusynerdfighting // @missihart23 // @crowleysreigningqueenofhell // @idreamofplaid // @thewinchesterchronicles // @wayward-gypsy // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy // @22sarah08 // @witch-of-letters // @cole-winchester // @rainflowermoon // @adoptdontshoppets// @waywardvalkyrie // @fandomoniumflurry // @gnrfanfic // @blackcherrywhiskey// @jessieray98 // @lyoly // @a–1–1–3 // @31shadesofbrown // @whereismyangel-damnitdeanshare // @pilaxia // @screechingartisancashbailiff// @kgbrenner // @holylulusworld // @deansenwackles // @flamencodiva // @jamielea81 // @coffeebooksandfandom // @logical-princey // @gemini0410 // @salt-n-burn-em-all

Series Tags: @winchest09 // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt // @aomi-nabi // @luciathewinchestergirl // @alexisxwinchester

#jensen ackles rpf #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x reader insert #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles fan fics

173 notes · View notes

dreamycloud1 · 5 years

Text

So I’m going to slam dunk my feelings on 13 RW season 3 here. I know I’m late. I know it’s controversial as hell. I want to so I’m going to.

Justin Foley deserves everything good in this world and more. I know this has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot at all but I wanted to say it. During the assembly I bawled like a baby for like 15 minutes straight. Adding him as a survivor didn’t progress the plot at all, they honestly could have left that out but they didn’t and I just felt so many things at once that shit hurted. Then Jessica and him talked it out and they mention it a few more times and Justin is soo loved and accepted and did I say loved and he has a family who wants to have him in their lives and wants to help him work toward being the person he wants to be. I’m so proud of him.

Tyler, he was so strong this season. I’m so happy they gave him a chance to share his story. They broke the stigma behind male victims and I’m really glad they addressed it. They also shredded toxic masculinity everywhere this season with Clay, Tyler, Justin, Zack and everyone else.

Calony were so cute this season. Caleb and Tony, just roll with it. Tony spends the whole time rightfully freaking out about his family and Caleb still won’t stop supporting him. Tony finally gets a stable and nontoxic on-screen relationship and good god Caleb is so good for him. Then Caleb meet his parents and they have dinner with the Jensen’s and I just love them both and hope they make it through S4 happy. (Tony’s gonna be in deep shit, just wait for my theory y’all)

I can talk about the other characters but this post is already a long long ramble might as well not make it any longer than needs be, if y’all want to hear my thoughts on a specific character/scene/etc just ask.

Now here’s the deep doo doo. Montgomery Sr la Cruz and Bryce Walker.

I know the story goes: Monty is gay and Hispanic and he was demonized and Bryce is rich and white and praised.

I don’t exactly agree with this narrative. I 100% agree this is the facts but nothing ever makes sense without context. I feel like a lot of people think the context of this situation is the writers wanted to portray Bryce as some redeemable rapist because he’s white and wanted to make Monty unredeemable because he’s Hispanic.

However I’d argue that neither of them were ever meant to be redeemed. The entire season was about Bryce Walker. Honestly up until this point the entire show revolves around Bryce Walker and his direct or indirect actions. I don’t think the writers ever intended Bryce to seem redeemed. We see that with the literal plotline, no one feels remorse for Bryce’s death. Even at the end when we find out that (SPOILER ALERT 🚨) it was Alex all along. Obviously a lot of circumstances lead up to that point but on the end it was Alex who pushed Bryce off that edge. Even Alex’s dad accepts the lie that Ani made. He knows Alex had to be the one to do it or at the very least that he was there. However it’s easiest to blame it on Monty and let it be because both of them did terrible things and I feel like the show reflects the mindset of many people. I doubt most any of us would feel sorry if every rapist turned up dead tomorrow. I know a few will disagree but that’s my take.

As for Monty being gay and Hispanic and being a rapist and a ‘murderer.’ I can not and will not speak to him being Hispanic, I see the terrible connotation in him being a Hispanic man and convicted of rape but otherwise that’s all I’ll say on the matter. However I am gay so I feel like as another gay man I can talk about my feelings on Monty being gay. I don’t think this is a hate crime or homophobia. Honestly I think it’s more diverse. Just because your gay doesn’t mean your exempt from raping someone. I don’t feel they made Monty gay for the express purpose of being homophobic. The same outcome would have come about if his victims had been Courtney or Casey or any self/identified female on the show. It still would have ended with his straight female lover being angry that Ani framed him for murder. I think a lot of people say they want diversity but the second a person with diversity is portrayed in negative light people automatically assume it’s because of their diversity instead of thinking of their diversity as just another part of them.

Monty wasn’t a Gay Man Who Was A Rapist he was a rapist who happened to be gay and his victims were the subject of that. It’s not homophobia it’s just the truth. Gay people are rapist and that can happen and does happen. The writers did a great job with Tony and I don’t think they would become some homophobic assholes just to Monty. That’s just my take on it at least. I think it was so out of proportion and seemed like Bryce was ‘redeemable’ because 1. They had to have some kind of content to actually make a season out of 2. They wanted the viewer to feel conflict. Wether you actually did or not (I didn’t, I think Bryce deserved what he got and rape is irredeemable) that is the basic want of a TV series is to make you think about the message it sends and 3. Because Monty had very little screen time to develop and build on to. We know of Monty what we’ve seen past seasons and that’s about it because this season wasn’t about Monty it was about Bryce. However they only framed Monty in the plot because he was the easiest but out of plot it’s because they needed a basis for season 4 and angry lover who thinks their SO could really actually change (COUGaniCOUGH) is a great idea. The gang has to deal with Winston threatening to go to the cops and also they he cops finding the guns they dumped.

#13 reasons why #13rw #13rw s3 #monty

19 notes · View notes

almaasi · 5 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x17 “Game Night”

this was not 45 minutes of Dean playing Twister with Cas :/

04:22pm

if this isn’t 45 minutes of team free will 2.0 having a happy time in the bunker with all their alive hunter friends and family, playing board games, everyone whistling and whooping when cas takes off his coat to play twister with dean, i will be sorely disappointed

HOWEVER

/checks

it’s meredith glynn

so maybe it won’t be the pure, fun, gay plotless fantasy that i have in mind, but it’ll probably be well-written and emotional, which is aaaalmost as good

04:30

DEAN’S PLAYING MOUSETRAP

OKAY

04:31

[distant “soN OF A BITCH”]

yeah mousetrap is like that

we have one exactly the same, it’s from the 60s or something, it sometimes functions but mostly doesn’t

when the ball hops into the bucket and rolls down the slope, that’s my favourite part

04:37

WHY ARE THEY HAVING GAME NIGHT and drama WITHOUT CAS

WHERE IS CAS

THIS IS TOO MUCH

04:38

ahhh thank you ms glynn for immediately answering my question

she knew!!! she knew the only question everyone would be asking at that exact moment when nobody mentioned cas is WHERE IS CAS

and then she’s like “here have some cas”

thank

04:39

i want a gag reel of danneel and misha trying to do this scene

we don’t have anywhere near enough content of them together, interacting

04:41

cas getting earrings for anael/sister jo is so intriguing to me and i really like it for some reason

“lightly cursed”

jsdfd

04:43

paused and screenshotted because in this exact moment she looks uncannily like my doctor