#i also am absolutely addicted to how encouraging they were to each other and in what ways when

[gender-trash]

okay i AM going to turn reblogs off for this one --

i think we need to talk more about the collective trauma of being part of an online community that a different online community is directing coordinated, nonstop harassment towards. this is the part of the post i am so close to deleting or leaving in the drafts, because i'm (still!) anticipating anon asks like, how dare YOU, an asexual, compare YOUR experience to that of REAL queer people -- and i have no experience of being a transfeminine person on tumblr but i get the impression it is way way worse than aphobia was at its height. but like -- the experience of having your queer subcommunity harassed sucks! hardcore sucks! and has a variety of shitty knock-on effects on the health of the community! and i wanna commiserate with other people who've had that experience!

(also, i can't stand the sj "how dare you compare bad thing A to bad thing B when B is clearly much worse" rhetorical move. sometimes bad things are bad in similar ways and it's useful to talk about that similarity without necessarily making any claims about relative severity.)

i also think we need better tools and mental models for thinking of harassment as not just a one-to-one relationship, but a many-to-many relationship -- "moderation" as a concept seems to exclusively deal with individual posts or at best individual accounts, when, like. the social graph exists; clustering algorithms exist; i don't trust their reliability enough to want to bring down the website banhammer on anyone in a particular cluster, but i would absolutely fucking love a "block this blog and everyone within three degrees of separation of them" button. or something along those lines -- hey, i'm just spitballing here. a mental model of bad actors on a website as not just individual bad actors, but badly-acting communities with internal dynamics.

in every community of recreational bullies i've ever closely observed on tumblr (terfs, truscum, aphobes, various flavors of shipping drama), the following dynamics are present:

members of the community socially reward other members for engaging in harassment, and encourage new members to engage in harassment

members of the community screenshot and pass around often-equally-rude responses from the people they're harassing, as "proof" that these people are Incredibly Harmful and therefore the harassment is Morally Good, even Important, and that the harassing community are actually embattled victims valiantly fighting the oppressor

usually an Opposition Community forms, with the mission of harassing the bully community and exactly the same group dynamics, and the "original" bullies + opposition bullies become a self-sustaining feedback loop of harassment, because each group is constantly giving the other one more material to pass around and rile themselves up with

each community forms an incredibly specific and characteristic dialect of shorthand language that updates frequently as the community they're harassing gets wise and starts blacklisting keywords (when i was most recently on a terf blocking spree, "febfem", "TiM", and "moid" were big ones). engaged community members rapidly become unable to interact with anyone who is not Very Online, isolating them so that the community is now their main social circle

eventually the community comes up with some chain of reasoning, no matter how strained, for calling the objects of their hatred pedophiles

occasionally someone in the community will actually Go Too Far and bring down the banhammer on themselves. they remake their blog within days or weeks (due to the profit incentives of running a social media website, users are sucked into becoming hopelessly addicted -- especially users who are in so deep that they can no longer figure out how talk to people who aren't up on the Incredibly Specific Group Vocabulary). they are promptly passed around as a martyr

you'll notice that the main forces that keep the feedback loop going are a feeling of victimization -- if you feel like you're a righteous, oppressed victim, then you can justify little a death threat as a treat against the evil outgroup who is oppressing you, right? -- a community that rewards its members socially both for harassing others and for being harassed, and isolationist tendencies that make it difficult for community members to get social reward anywhere other than within the community.

it seems that, if you want to be able to deal with a group like this, you need to have some strategy for countering those forces -- whereas conventional moderation efforts mostly feed into the victimization mindset. maybe you need to somehow wall off the harassing community and the responding opposition harassers from each other, so that as far as each group is concerned the other one doesn't exist. maybe you need better tools so users with the characteristics that the harassing community targets can block the entire harassing community all at once. i don't actually know! but i doubt we're going to get anywhere without at least a basic understanding of system dynamics!!

#the trashcan speaks #webbed site

[witchthewriter]

Hi hun! This is my formal request to play the ship game 🦁🦁

Fandoms: Peaky Blinders, Stranger Things and The Umbrella Academy (males if possible please for all 3)

About Me: I'm heterosexual, I go be she/her pronouns and my personality type is INFP if that means much :)

My absolute dream in life is to be a writer with a big study with a comfy chair and a gorgeous aesthetic and then a hanging egg chair in the corner so I can read and relax.

I love movies too, especially horror movies.

I am usually the shortest one in the group and I have a baby face but I am usually the mum friend, I have all the stuff in my bag. Tissues, multiple hand sanitizers, hand cream, pens, wet wipes, we are ready.

I love to read too

I love buying gifts for people I've been told I'm a pretty good gift giver.

I love animals, I have a dog, a cross between a cockapoo and a miniature schnauzer, but I've also had many cats in my life.

I have a mild addiction to teddy bears.

I like comfy clothes but if I had my way I'd have a light or dark academia aesthetic or cottage core, so opposite but it works

If you need anything else, let me know :)

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋

Oh my goodness, you’re so lovely. And your description of yourself makes me want to be your friend <3 Also you DEFINITELY sound like an INFP; you’re literally the sweetest 🌼

Also I changed it from drabble to their fav thing about you & your best friend (I think everyone gets more out of it that way - so I’m not repeating anything!) 

What each ship has in common: 

⋆ creativity ⋆ have a soft side ⋆ warm-hearted ⋆ put smiles on peoples faces ⋆ know how to have a good time

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

Okay so this one was really hard. In this world everyone of the men are so rough and gruff - if Finn was older I would’ve matched him because he seems the most soft. And you deserve someone whose sensitive. 

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 I ship you with Arthur Shelby - there are moments in the show when he is so so soft. But with the business, Tommy and his wife, Arthur was always pushed to the limit. Especially since masculinity was so important during this time. Yet softness isn’t inherently feminine and toughness isn’t inherently masculine. You show Arthur that; you perservere and take charge when you need to, all while still keeping your heart. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

⭑ He loved that you didn’t find his soft side unmanly. He constantly tries to hide it, but when it comes out - those who care the most about him don’t usually react in the right ways. 

⭑ He doesn’t read very well and likes it when you read to him. Especially something you have written yourself! 

⭑ You guys would move not too far from the city, but far enough that you’re in the countryside. 

⭑ You adopt a lot of cats and dogs when you live on the farm. Sometimes you find them, other times they find you. 

⭑He loves when you sing, or hum. You encourage him to express himself in whatever way he wants and it’s usually in song as well. 

⭑ He loves it when you listen to him rant about what’s on his mind. From childhood memories, to gossip. 

⭑Loves making you two a cup of tea and sitting on the front porch (this one made me emotional??)

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢: Your touch. He loves when you gently cup his cheek in your hand, shushing him quietly. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑: Ada. You enjoy talking to her about politics and how to make the world a better place. Also she has a lot of books and a glorious house to lounge about. 

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 I ship you with Eddie Munson! Okay so hear me out - you remind me of Chrissy so much!!! They had so much chemistry that I think he would absolutely adore you. It would come as a shock to a lot of people that you were dating, but seeing you two together, they would understand. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

⭑ You basically adopt Dustin, like you’re his new parents and Steve would be so jealous. 

⭑ You fell first and then he fell harder for you. He absolutely adores you and worships the ground you walk on. 

⭑Will talk to your teddy bears and gently place them on the ground when he sleeps over. Never EVER mistreats them. 

⭑Gets along really well with your pets, like really well. Babies and animals absolutely adore Eddie??? (he’s perfect that’s why)

⭑ Very VERY VERY protective over you and will not let you do anything dangerous (but come on, this guy really cannot tell you what to do)

⭑ Will rub your belly if it hurts/you have period pain etc., 

⭑ Likes to write songs about you; he’s especially inspired when you sit in the sunlight, your eyes closed as you drink in the warmth. 

⭑ Has cried because you make him feel so loved

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢: Your smile. He loves when you find his jokes funny. This guy will literally trip over in front of you and a whole ass crowd if it meant you would smile. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑: Robin. She likes how loyal you are, and I think she might have a crush on you. 

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐲

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 I ship you with Klaus Hargreeves! I think he would love you to be honest; your heart and responsible side would mesh well with his wild but sensitive side. He would always go to you for advice, a hug and cuddle. He would love your teddy bears and get you one nearly every time he goes to the shops. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

⭑ Likes to play pranks on his siblings with you. Sometimes you feel like he’s taken it too far, but then he’ll tell you about all the other crap they’ve done to him and then you think the prank should go a step further. 

⭑ He is nearly always the little spoon - he likes feeling cocooned in you. It makes him feel safe. 

⭑ You know about his sexuality and nearly cried when you said you didn’t care. (He’s pansexual by the way.)

⭑ Your relationship are the tropes: mutual pining (before you got together obvi), ‘everything’s bad but at least i found you,’ dumb & dumber. 

⭑ He LOVES when you give him scalp massages. He is putty in your hands. If you play with his hair afterwards and tickle his back then he’ll literally do whatever you say 

⭑You guys almost never fight, not unless you’re scared that Klaus is unsafe, then you’ll tell him and it’s resolved. 

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢: Your fierce love, it’s as if he knows he will never feel unloved/unlovable again. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑: One, you guys bonded quickly because of his big heart. You listened to him and your friendship is one that he will always cherish. Also you’re both puppy dogs <3

#open ships #get shipped

[captain-aralias]

18, 26, F, % for the fic reader/writer asks 😉

thank you, my dear! here are some answers for you/here are some answers that will let me put off writing my CORB fic for a bit longer -

18. Favorite kinds of comments?

ALL COMMENTS. but the very best comments are ones that talk a lot about what you've written and (for me, particularly) ask questions or make observations that make me think 'ah, excellent - i'll put that in a later chapter'. we've got a very nice commenting culture going on at the moment, lots of people - particularly writers but not just writers - leaving really detailed and interesting comments on lots of CO fics, you're one of them <3

also, obviously, anything that's like 'here, i made this in response'.

but also also, i cannot stress how addicted i am to comments. i write to get comments of any kind. thank you for your comments.

26. Last sentence you've written

pretty sure i'm going to delete this - but for now this is the last full sentence i wrote last night. and then i stopped in the middle of a WORD out of disgust 😂

I’m apparently more than gay enough; now we just need to sort out the rest.) 

“Hello Bunce,” Baz says, so c

(the word was 'cool')

F) Favorite trope(s)

faaaaaake relationship :D super excited to write some for CORB and work with an amazing artist while i do it. i've honestly been waiting for a good idea to justify this trope for years and then @asticou gave me one.

other than that it would be accurate to say i love all tropes, but particularly things like... 'magic made them do it' or anything that forces people who 'don't like each other' to deal with their feelings early. it's part of why i like fake relationship so much, even though the CORB is going to be friends-to-lovers, so a bit different.

i also love AU-canon divergence so much it's barely a trope anymore, and i guess i've been doing a lot recently with 'second chances'.

these were reader tropes, i've just realised, but the same is absolutely true of me as a reader. as a reader i like to read things that make me angry that i didn't write them.

%) A feature you wish ao3 had

great question!!! shockingly (not that shockingly) i have thought about this, so here's four - from most plausible to implement to least plausible.

move profile onto the dashboard - not even a new feature. no one uses it right now. maybe against the spirit of the archive, but i like encouraging people to engage with me as a human elsewhere as well.

a way to message people without commenting on their fic, don't need an instant message function just some sort of button that allows you to email them

arguably this goes against the premise of AO3 as an archive, but i feel like some sort of community hub would be invaluable, now it's so hard to find fandoms. i'm thinking something simple like a permanently pinned 'fic' at the top of every fandom tag, and then people could post 'comments' linking to things like the discord, facebook groups, tumblr, instagram, etc.

hosting for podfics and/or images. or they could team up with audiofic, which is gradually coming back online. here's my reader page (although it wrongly assigns a teen wolf fic to me as the first entry, so don't be surprised i sound different on that one. it's not me!)

otherwise, AO3 is generally great and i love it. i also enjoyed answering these questions, thank you!

==

from this ask list

#my content

[shadeswift99]

👀👀 Heard someone mention Blue Bats........ My beloved.........

Yeah!! I wasn't expecting the vibes to be that strong and yet that chill at the same time...plus strategy wise they absolutely killed it, I'm still losing it trying to analyze how they won that Survival Games because MAN that was badass -

#i often struggle with seeing what strats people use in pvp stuff and using them myself without having them verbally explained #just an information processing thing i guess #but i knew enough to know that whatever the hell they just did was incredible in terms of communication #they beat out so many teams full of people whose main content is pvp; who live and breathe it and keep up with every update #and they beat them out because they were SMART about it; it was beautiful #the role assignment; how good they were at falling into their individual place in the team while staying adaptable #the way they said only what they needed to when they needed to to leave lines of communication free of clutter #but were still extremely open with each other and didn't head off on any tangents on their own #.... it's possible that i am now talking about the part that was least interesting to most people #but i just really like analysing dynamics between people based on how they mesh in a fight #OH WAIT I JUST REALIZED i can watch the training vods - #i think Ren had a few #hell yes give me that sweet pvp knowledge please yes - #second hand pvp training plus more blue bats content? YEAAAAH #anyway. yeah. from so many perspectives blue bats good #i also am absolutely addicted to how encouraging they were to each other and in what ways when #it was so nice to see #ask #blue bats #is that a tag? probably

[kpostedsum]

only you

draco malfoy x reader, harry potter x reader

summary: when harry asks you to get closer to a specific someone, what happens if you get too close?

based off this tiktok

song: dark red - steve lacy

a/n: there is infidelity in this fic whomppp and not edited

masterlist | taglist

Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know it but I feel it comin'

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

the sky was gloomy on your way to hogwarts, everyone was on edge with the return of voldemort. you stayed with harry, ron and hermione all throughout the summer at the burrow preparing for your sixth year.

“he has to be a deatheater, his father is in azkaban so it makes sense if voldemort would have made him a deatheater in his fathers place” your boyfriend harry tried to explain to ron and hermione. you have to admit, he could have a point— however, no matter how bad draco is you didn’t want to think that of a sixteen year old boy. “well how do you suppose we find out?” asked ron as he awaited an answer from everyone.

“i have a plan but i don’t suppose harry would be too fond of it” hermione said with a waver in her voice. “since y/n comes from a respectable pureblood family, perhaps she can get closer to draco and confirm our suspicions for us—”

“absolutely not. i don’t want y/n any where near malfoy, who knows how dangerous he is” harry said defensively. you have to admit, hermiones plan is smart and is probably the most realistic one there is.

“it’s okay harry” you soothed him. “i’ll be fine, hermiones plan makes the most sense” you said.

“so what’s the plan?”

I just hope she don't wanna leave me

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong with you, and only you, baby

“love, i still don’t think this is a good idea, what if you get hurt?” harry said as you two were cuddled on his bed together in the boys dorm, basking in each others warmth and security.

“he won’t hurt me harry, he’s a boy just like you— i’m sure if he is a deatheater he isn’t handling it as well as you think. i’ll be okay” you said. a soft silence stilled between the two of you as you enjoyed being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms, occasionally rubbing your nose against his just to hear his giggle that you love so much.

“i’ve just lost a lot of people, i don’t want you to be one of them. if something were to happen to you i’d light the world on fire and never let a flame touch you, just to keep you safe.” he said with a certain look of truth, loyalty and despair swimming in his eyes as he looked at you.

“i’m not going anywhere harry, i promise. i love you, only you” was the last thing you said before the both of you fell asleep, body parts tangled with eachother.

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

it’s been 3 days since that night with harry, and since then you’ve been trying to get closer to draco, but every time you tried he seemed to disappear. tonight you decided you’d wander outside of the slytherin common room in hopes of him showing up.

“what are you doing here, don’t you belong with the other gryffindors and saint potter?”

there he was. the voice you’ve been waiting to hear all week.

“i’ve grown quite bored of them right now, i figured i need a little excitement in my life. which is exactly why i am here, wandering outside the slytherin common room hoping there’s someone here to cure my boredom.” you said trying to sound as convincing as possible.

“get to the point y/n” he said walking closer to you. “what do you really want? is potter not fulfilling your needs anymore?” he smirked as he backed you against the wall, caging your frame beneath his.

“harry and i are fine, thank you very much” you rolled your eyes. “he’s just too busy right now”

“so you think i’m the cure to your boredom” draco said raising his brows, curious as to where this conversation is leading too.

“i know you’re the cure to my boredom.”

Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way I don't know maybe

I think of her so much it drives me crazy

I just don't want her to leave me

you and draco have been hanging out every night since that day. some days he’d be there and you’d both talk until the sun rise, and others he wouldn’t show.

you knew you had to ask him about it soon for harry’s sake but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, atleast not tonight.

“what do you mean you haven’t found out yet? you’ve been spending almost every night with him— which you could be spending with me by the way, and you still found out nothing about him. what do you even do then?” harry exclaimed, clearly frustrated over the lack of information and the fact that his girlfriend has been hanging out with the enemy.

“i can’t just straight up ask him harry!” you say a bit louder than intended. “he has to trust me first, and how can i build that trust with him if we don’t hang out. all we do is talk, i promise.” you said, your voice softening as you weren’t in the mood to argue with your boyfriend right now.

“can we just go to sleep please, i miss you” you pleaded.

“yeah, yeah we can” he said pulling you towards him in his bed, allowing your head to rest in the crook of his neck inhaling his scent. a scent that used to be so familiar but you can feel being replaced.

“it’s only me right?” he asked staring towards his ceiling.

“yes harry, it’s only you. i love you.” you said reassuring him, but also reassuring yourself.

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong with you and only you, baby

“draco, can i ask you something” you asked looking towards him as he sat on the other side of you looking at the stars on from the astronomy tower.

“what is it?” he responded.

“how come sometimes you don’t show up, some days i’ll sit here waiting for you to show up and you never do. i miss you” you said softly, hoping you can get some information out of him.

“it’s cute that you miss me, i’d be lying if i said sometimes i didn’t miss your presence as well.” he said turning towards you and sending you a smirk. crawling over to him and resting your head on his shoulder, you relaxed against him.

“you know i don’t think you’re as bad as harry makes you out to be” you admitted. it’s true though, harry makes him out to be someone vain, however you find his presence comforting. you look forward to the nights you spend with him, more than you’d like to admit. “you’re quite nice when you want to be and are really good company” you explained.

“oh yeah?” he turned to you.

“yeah” you nodded. “i think harry is blinded by hate, he doesn’t know i’ve been hanging out with you and i’m sure if he were to find out he’d think you’re hurting me.” you partly lied.

“but i don’t think you could hurt me even if you tried” you said peering up at him with a soft smile and big genuine eyes. he adored the sight but he’d never admit it.

“i dont think your boyfriend would appreciate you talking about him like this to his enemy, now would he love?” draco said with a smirk. he knew over the past few weeks you’ve been hanging out your love for harry has been fading, even if you haven’t seen it yourself.

“draco” you said breaking the soft silence. “i have something to confess”

“well what is it?” he said, turning towards you giving you his full attention.

“do you think it’s wrong for someone to feel something for someone they’re not supposed to feel for” you asked, staring into his stormy grey eyes.

“i feel like i should feel guilty, but i don’t. if anything i feel safe.” you continued.

“what do you mean by that?” draco asked, taking his hand and slowly caressing your cheek encouraging you to continue.

when he touched you it felt as if the stars were dancing across your skin. you haven’t felt that way with harry in a while. it felt as if you could be anything in the world, and for some reason, you wanted to be his.

“is it wrong that when i’m with you, i get the same feeling i used to feel with him” you asked. “i mean, for some reason i can’t seem to stay away from you, and i don’t think i want too. i feel safe with you”. you said softly, hoping he understood what you meant.

“i used to think i was crazy meeting up with you every night, but i think it’s the best decision i’ve ever made.” he expressed. “you’ve become something i look forward too everyday, someone i seek out in crowds without even realizing it. i don’t think i want to stay away from you either” he finished.

the air stilled between you two, the only sounds heard were the soft winds of the night.

“draco… can i kiss you?” you asked.

“if you do, i don’t think i’d be able to stop” he confessed.

“and what if i don’t want you to stop” you said leaning closer and pressing your lips against his.

his lips were soft. slightly cold but it was addictive. kissing him felt so good, you might have even forgot how to breathe, but breathing wasn’t important in that moment.

“i’ve waited— i’ve waited so long for this, but i didn’t want to ruin what you and saint potter had” he said as he pulled you to straddle his lap and you pressed harsh kisses against his neck, craving to feel him.

“you didn’t ruin a thing” you said in between kisses. “i ruined it the day i decided to seek you out outside your common room” you continued breaking the kiss.

“i’m glad you did” he said resting his forehead against yours.

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

whatever you had going on with draco continues for months, hidden kisses between classes and tangled limbs in his bed at night.

the only problem was harry.

“as much as i’d love to brag about stealing potters girlfriend to everyone, i don’t think i can do that” draco said as you both laid in bed together in each others embrace.

“i know, but i can’t leave him yet. it’s just not the right time” you said turning to face him.

“i know” he said turning towards you. “if anything, i enjoy sneaking around with you” he says as he presses light kisses to your neck.

“what are you thinking about” he asks as he notices you’re not paying attention to him.

“harry’s probably wondering where i am, i should probably go to him” you said sadly.

“just be back tomorrow, alright?”

“i’ll always come back to you draco, i promise” you said pressing a kiss to his lips and heading to the gryffindor common room.

What if she's fine

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long

“you’ve been out quite a bit haven’t you” ron said as you entered the common room. his eyes, hermione’s and harry’s eyes all on you.

“i’ve just been trying to get the information you wanted from him” you lied as you took a seat next to hermione.

“we’ll have you gotten anything?” she asked

“no, i haven’t. i don’t think hes a deatheater, i mean it’s been months since i’ve been hanging with him— he would have told me by now” you explained.

“what do you mean he doesn’t trust you, all you do is be with him and stare at each other in class. i wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bloody crush on you by now” harry said quite aggressively.

“we only talk, i’ve told you that already” you said sternly even though it was a lie.

“how about we all go to sleep and discuss this in the morning, it’s quite late” ron said trying to diffuse the tension.

“i agree, it’s too late and none of us are thinking straight” hermione added on to ron’s statement and going straight to the girls dorm, ron going to the boys dorm.

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong, with you, only you, baby

you and harry were left in the common room alone, the sound of fire crackling becoming more evident and loud as you tried to avoid his gaze.

“i’m sorry for lashing out like that” he said breaking the silence. “i know you and malfoy have nothing going on, i guess i’ve just missed you.”

“i missed you too harry” you said looking over to him.

“c’mere” he said tugging you towards him so you sit on his lap. “i love you, y’know. i don’t think i’d be able to do any of this without you” he continued looking into your eyes with a look of desperation of love.

a look you couldn’t return.

“i love you too harry, only you.” the lies came out your mouth before you could even stop them.

“only you, i promise.”

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

-

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #draco fuckingmalfoy #draco malfoy angst #harry potter #draco lucius malfoy #harry potter angst #harry potter fluff #harry potter x reader #harry potter x reader x draco malfoy #harry potter x ravenclaw!reader #harry potter x ginny weasley #harry potter fic #harry potter x you

[novamirmirsblog]

My clothes smell of you

Genre: Fluff

Request: no

Word count: 1311

Warnings: None

LOOSELY BASED ON THIS PROMPT: you’re a seamstress at the place I took my clothes to get fixed and when I got it back it smelled like you so now I’m looking for clothes at the thrift store that have holes in them so that I can go back and see you again

Part 2 here 

A/n: there is absolutely no need to read part two. In fact I encourage you not to do so. It’s sad and why have sad when you can finish with this cute happy ending. Part two was the sadistic part of me coming out 😂

It was no secret that avenging was dangerous work. It was also no secret that Tony Stark sucked at sewing. Perhaps that was a little harsh on Tony. It's not like anyone else in the avengers compound could sew. Natasha remembered one particularly painful memory where Steve had ended up in the hospital because he had sewn his suit to his hand.

Tony had offered to have a bulk of different suits made for each person but after earth's mightiest heroes had seen how all of Clint's suits turned up fluorescent pink, it was a hard pass. Natasha also had another reason for wanting to get her suit's repaired rather than just buying a new one.

The first time she had her suit sent to be repaired it had been after Peter's suit had come back with absolutely no burn marks. It was surprising considering he had jumped into the fireplace after Bucky dared him too. She was shocked that the suit looked almost brand new and when he waved his hand into the flames again, it was completely crazy that the suit hand came away with no burn marks.

Whoever had fixed his suit had also made their own improvements.

Peter had eagerly told Natasha that he often went to 'Y/n's Splendid Sewing' after Aunt May got fed up of repairing his mask one too many times. While Natasha wasn't a fan of the name of the shop, she couldn't deny she was eager to see how you would fix a suit with more holes than Swiss cheese.

Peter had offered to bring her suit with him the next time he went but her suit needed fixing now and turning on the charm a little to skip ahead of any queues was her plan.

~~~~~

Walking into the store, the little bell on the doorframe rang out, letting you know someone had entered. You looked up to see a pretty redhead walk in.

"Hi, I'm hoping you could help me out." Natasha's low voice dripped with flirtatious intentions.

"Sure. What do you need sewing?" You answered back, busing yourself with the computer. You had convinced yourself that if you didn't have to look at her, she would get more ugly when you turned back. You were wrong.

Natasha dumped a black bag on the counter "I was hoping you could fix this up. I kind of need it for tonight."

You glanced at the clock. It read 4:30. Reaching into the bag you pulled out the black catsuit and examined the damage

"I can have it done by 5:45. Name please." You knew you were being short with this beautiful woman but you needed to get started on this suit asap if you wanted to meet the deadline you had set yourself.

"Just put it under Natalia."

~~~~~

The bell rang out again at exactly 5:45 and you didn't even bother looking up before grabbing the catsuit that was on the hanger.

"So you know my name, when do I get to know yours?" Natalia purred out, handing you the money and letting her hand linger for a fraction longer than necessary.

"Y/n" You managed to choke out, you were sure she could feel your heart rate increase because her gaze turned predatory for a fraction of a second before flicking back to the carefully flirty facade she put on.

"Cute. See you soon y/n"

~~~~~

When Natasha made it back to the compound, she took her suit out to inspect it and the waft of you came too. That wasn't fair in her opinion because it was addicting. Your scent wasn't very prominent in your shop because of all the other chemicals you used to clean the clothes but here, with no new smells to distract her, Natasha was hooked. You smelled of comfort.

This was the reason that Natasha was suddenly a saint, taking everyone's suits to be repaired. She wasn't too keen on everyone being able to smell your coziness but this way she got to keep talking to you. You had both fallen into playful flirting and while Natasha thought she could be content with that, she wasn't. She wanted more. She wanted to be the reason you woke up with a smile. She wanted to come home and be able to breathe you in after a long day. It's why she started bringing more and more... personal... items. It was an absolute joy to see your flushed face when she gave you a very revealing bra to fix, claiming that the holes that looked like they had been cut in were, in fact, a product of moth related crimes.

Natasha had, in fact, asked you out on a date several times yet you always thought it was just a friendly meet up. The amount of times the two of you had gone out to eat, or grab coffee, or just chill at the compound were too many to count. After the first three failed attempts at asking you on a proper date, Natasha wondered if you were being wilfully ignorant, that you just didn't want to go on a date with her and this was your way of letting her down. But then she would catch your eyes roaming her body with your lip captured between your teeth and question everything all over again.

~~~~~

Natasha, who was usually so sure of herself, felt like an absolute wreck when she came to collect the clothes that day, along with a bunch of flowers.

The bell on the doorway rang out at 4:45, just as it has done every Wednesday and Friday for the past 3 months. You didn't even bother looking up to greet Natasha, just waving her in to the back so she could dump the clothes that needed repairing.

"Actually Y/n, no clothes today."

You looked up at that. Why was she coming here without clothes? Was there an order you forgot to complete? Was she here to tell you that your last job wasn't good enough? "How come?"

"Well," Natasha took a deep breath in, trying to calm her nerves "I was wondering if you would like to grab some coffee with me? Like a date?" Natasha handed you the flowers from behind her back.

You were shocked. How could someone like Natasha (You had found out during a movie night at the compound that while Natalia was her real name, people here just called her Natasha) like someone like you? Natasha took your silence as a bad thing and started to ramble.

"I know it's weird but ever since that first interaction, I just can't shake you. I am obsessed with everything about you - your hair, your eyes" Natasha let out an exasperated laugh "even your damn smell I can't get out of my head. I understand if you don't want to date me but I can't live with the thought of not knowing whether or not you would say yes..."

While Natasha was ranting away, you and taken the flowers from her and placed them on your workbench. Once she had finished her speech, you placed one hand on her hip and the other on her face

"Of course I would want to go on a date with you. When you first walked into my shop, I couldn't wait for you to come and collect your clothes. When you kept coming back - well, I thought I was the luckiest person alive because even though I thought we could never be anything more than friends, at least I got to watch you and your smile every week."

You leant in, bringing your lips closer to Natasha's, leaving a gap for her to close. When Natasha captured your lips with hers, the softness was unparalleled to anything you had ever experienced. You both broke the kiss reluctantly when you needed to breathe.

"You know that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me, Y/n"

"Well now, we can't have that Miss Romanoff, people might think you're going soft." you gently nudged her as you both walked out of the shop hand in hand, the bell ringing for one last time before you both made your way into your new relationship.

#natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #black widow #black widow x reader #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x you #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x you #black widow x female reader

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass) || Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round) || Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger) || Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 7: Stick To Your Guns

Get a grip on yourself // Get in shape for tonight // Take a look at yourself or your dreams // You're losing sight...

You got to stick to your guns // What's right for you, ain't right for everyone...

Soundtrack: “Stick To Your Guns,” Mötley Crüe, 1981 [click here to listen]

Time passed.

Claire’s sessions with Gillian progressed well. For five mornings a week, ninety minutes at a time, slowly they untangled the path that had led Claire to despair, to addiction, and to The Ridge.

Claire started keeping a daily gratitude journal. For Gillian had helped her understand that she had so very much to be grateful for. Almost every entry featured Jamie – something he’d shared with her, or something small she’d done for him, or a few chords he’d played on his guitar, or a new memory she’d timidly shared – thanks to his quiet, patient encouragement.

Afternoons were for Group, and for recreation. And now that the summer was in full swing, she was volunteering in the garden. It was Glenna’s pride and joy – and grew a healthy range of herbs and fruits and vegetables to be harvested at various points through the summer and served in The Ridge’s kitchens. And Glenna’s passion quickly rubbed off on Claire – who had never gardened in her life, but absolutely relished getting dirt under her fingernails and harvesting from the plants she’d tended to so carefully.

Together with Marsali and Jamie – and a shy newcomer, Elias Pound, barely out of high school but terribly addicted to painkillers – she continued to prep and clear the dining room each evening. With Gillian’s encouragement, she took Elias under her wing, guiding him through The Ridge’s process much like others had when she had first arrived.

And when Elias quietly shared that he wanted to be a doctor – she’d started giving him pointers on what to study, how to focus his energy, and how best to mentally prepare himself for what that life would be like. A life certainly without pills.

Her medical skills had come in handy a few times, too.

There was the evening when Glenna had cut a deep gash in the back of her hand as she’d sliced corn off the cob for dinner. Claire had expertly and calmly sutured the wound, with Elias’ diligent assistance. To the applause of the small crowd that had gathered, watching.

And there was the morning when Geneva had been stung by a bee and had a terrible allergic reaction. Dougal had burst into Claire’s session with Gillian, seeking urgent help. For all that Dougal was opinionated and in charge, he clearly knew when to step back – quickly doing as Claire bade, following her down the hall and bringing her adequate supplies to stop the swelling.

And of course there was the lunch, one rainy day, when Rupert had eaten his roast beef sandwich a little too enthusiastically and began to choke. Swiftly Claire mobilized, and with a few pushes of his diaphragm the half-chewed sandwich spewed all over the table. Everyone in the dining room had cheered.

She had a purpose.

She belonged.

She’d proudly told Uncle Lamb all about it (for patients at The Ridge received phone privileges – one thirty-minute phone call every three days – once they’d been there for two weeks). And Lamb certainly shared her joy.

“You just sound healthier, my dear.” He blew his nose into the receiver. “Excuse me. Claire – I feel awful saying this to you, but I think you’ll understand now. You were so desperately unhappy for such a long time, but you didn’t want any help dealing with it, and I felt utterly paralyzed – ”

“It’s all right,” she reassured him, twisting the phone cord in her free hand, watching through the windows as a few people played volleyball on the lawn. “I wasn’t ready to hear any of it. But now I am.” She paused. “Lamb, I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry for what happened, and I’m sorry for how bad it got, and I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

“Oh, lovie. There’s nothing to be sorry about. I – ” His voice choked. “I’m just so glad you’re off of those stupid pills, and I’m so glad that you’re getting the help that you need.”

“I’m lucky to have really good people here, who want to help me. To build new habits, and to break the old ones. Did I tell you I’ve really gotten into gardening?”

“Yes! You’ll have to tell me more about it the next time we talk.”

“I will. All right – our half hour is just about up. I love you.”

“Oh I love you, Claire. Stay well.”

She hung up and sighed.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #little bit better than i used to be

[parkers-gal]

Heyy, i hope you are amazing and getting enough sleep and drinking enough water. But for the sleepover Can you have Tom and his brothers or cast mates reacting to readers (Ariana Grande) new video “34+35”. It doesn’t have to be smut seeing as how you don’t want to write smut.

i have a blurb where this is included in it, but if you want me to rewrite it you can send in the request again <3

requests are open

—

wc: 1.1k

Though Tom had helped you on some of the lyrics for the current tracks for your new studio album, he'd yet to hear any finished results or melodies (which was probably a good thing considering he started humming "needy," during a comic con event). 

You, as well as several of your friends from the studio, were gathered in Tom's living room, everyone spread out on their own seats. You were slightly nervous, worried about how the boys would react from your sudden switch from pop to R&B. 

"Ten minutes!" Harrison hollered from the kitchen, and a series of cheers went around as everyone continued what they were doing. It was a ritual, basically, to be together on release night like it was a New Year's countdown. Every new release meant the boys had something new to hear, so you also spent time going through each track and letting them decipher it as they pleased. 

An album was no different. 

Now, they'd already heard your leading single "positions," and you had to admit, their reactions when the words left your mouth were absolutely hilarious. 

You recalled the memory:

"Wait- what?" 

"Jesus Christ, Tom, you've turned her into a sex addict," Harry concluded. 

"I have- I have not!" 

You giggled, patting his shoulder while he processed the information. 

"Okay if it's not about sex then what's it about?" Harrison asked. 

You rolled your eyes, "I never said it wasn't about sex." 

"Oh," they concluded, each of their eyes widening. 

"I swear to god, Y/N, if you name drop me like you did Pete and Ri-'

"I didn't name drop anyone!" you laughed at him, hoping to relax him a little. "Tommy it's not like you're explicitly mentioned to be the inspiration. You just happen to have caused the lyrics, 's all." 

"That's gross," Harry interrupted. 

"Yeah, we don't need to hear about how much you love Tom's web shooter." 

___

"Five minutes!" Harrison shouted again. 

Tom had just returned from the kitchen, a fresh beer in his hand. He was coming over to you, sitting down softly and pulling you into his side, kissing your temple as you hummed. You intertwined your fingers, and he chuckled, giving your knuckles a kiss too. 

"You ready, love?"

"I think the question is 'are you ready?'" 

The two of you laughed just as Harrison and Harry had finally sat in their seats. They'd connected three wireless speakers to your phone, where you'd play the album for them for the first time. 

"Two minutes."

Tom looked down to you with a proud smile, and you pinched his cheeks. You found out later that Harry had captured the moment on film. 

Now, everyone was counting down the seconds, you included. Everyone was shouting excitedly, and you couldn't help but smile at the entire image. 

"Okay, okay," you quieted everyone. "Track number one: shut up. Are we ready?"

"Hell yeah," Harry raised his beer. 

"Hit it muchacha!"

You laughed, clicking the song. 

As the intro started, you saw each of their expressions. The beginning was sort of Disney-like, and quite easy to reminisce about childhood films. However, their expressions quickly changed once your voice rang through. 

You looked to Victoria with a satisfied grin, Tom's mouth agape and Harry's eyes wide as he tried not to spit out his beer.

"Guess it fuckin' just clicked one night," you sang along perfectly. 

Sam barely swallowed his drink before he spoke first. "Holy shit," he laughed. 

When the song ended, you paused the music, glancing to their faces in anticipation for one of them to speak first. 

"Well?" you smiled nervously. 

"It's quite.. Disney?"

"Yeah.." Harrison agreed with Sam. "But also very straight forward and holy shit you weren't playin' around."

"I quite like it," Tuwaine admitted. "It's very catchy."

"Okay, time for track two: 34+35."

"Oh man," Tom replied to you, putting his drink on the coffee table. "I've been dying to hear this one."

"Or at least know what it's about," Harry added. 

You rolled your eyes with a knowing-grin, clicking the track. They were quiet just as it started, but by the fourth line of verse one, they had finally figured out what it was about. 

"Fuck me till the daylight!" You sang, and Tom looked like he'd just wet his pants. 

"Baby you might need a seat belt when I ride it," you laughed with Tayla. 

Tuwaine seemed thoroughly amused by their reactions, playfully dancing along to the song. When the track came to a close, the realization seemed to have struck them just as you hummed out:

"Means I wanna 69 with ya... noooooo, shit." 

As you paused the song before the next track, Harrison was turning towards Tom with an open mouth, finger pointed to you. He wasn't forming words, and you giggled at them, encouraging them. 

"C'mon! Tell me what you think!" 

"I believe you when you said Tom is kinky," Harry deadpanned. 

Tom jutted his lip out, scrunching his brows together. "I am not! I have normal kinks!"

"I don't think 69 is a kink," Harrison concluded. 

"Or common," Sam pointed out. 

You laughed again, interrupting them. "It's not about Tom," you confessed. 

It was Tom's turn to look at you with wide eyes. "Are you just doing 69 with other gentlemen then?" 

"N-no," You spoke during laughs. "It's not from personal experience."

The five of them "oh'ed" and you laughed again with a nod. 

Forty minutes later and you were listening to the last track of the album, sad that it came so soon. 

"Ready?" 

"Let's do it," Harrison chugged the rest of his beer. Tom snuggled closer into your side and you kissed his cheek before pressing play. 

During this track, the boys didn't talk at all, which was peculiar to you. They didn't even react until you spoke once it ended. 

"Well? You guys were awful quiet? Do you like it-"

"It's really pretty," Tom confessed, a blush adorned on his cheek. 

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "It's almost soft compared to the rest." 

You nodded along, "Yeah, I'd think so too." 

"Who's it about?" Sam asked.  Your eyebrows went up, and he 'surrendered.'

"Well then," Harry stood up. "Congrats Y/N/N," he moved in to give you a hug and you returned it. "I'm gonna hit the sack." 

"Yeah same," Harrison said, repeating Harry's movements. 

By the time they'd all left, you and Tom were left alone cleaning up everything and washing dishes at one A.M.

"Can I ask who it's about?" 

"Which one?" You asked, scrubbing the bottom of a plate before handing it to him to rinse and dry. 

"The, uh- the last one." 

"Oh," you looked at the sponge in your hands. "It's about you." 

The tips of his ears reddened, and you had to will yourself not to laugh at it. 

"I really.. love it," he admitted almost bashfully, avoiding your gaze. 

"Well," you grabbed his hands despite the suds. "I really love you." 

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fluff #tom holland x arianagrande!reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom holland hc #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluffy #positions #harry holland #34 + 35 #tom x reader #boyfriend!tom holland #peter parker x pregnant!reader

[yourmidnightlover]

rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

----------------------------------

you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner  @greenprisca  @muffin-cup

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid angst

[ivyaugustetc]

the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell

@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)

neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3

todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!

fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)

cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.

charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.

pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.

meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).

stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3

chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.

ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.

I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all

#dead poets society #dead poets society headcannons #todd anderson #neil perry #gerard pitts #charlie dalton #nuwanda #knox overstreet #steven meeks #stephen meeks #richard cameron #james stuchelli #ginny danburry #chris noel

[captainkurosolaire]

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

#I acknowledge you #Love you #Keep doing you #Asks answered #I'm the one guy who's never not going to be filtered or unspoken #To many people have left or been broken #Don't you ever think about it. #There's so many many more #But I'll recharge for next time

[hamliet]

The Girl Who Gets to Have It All: Buffy Summers

So with @linkspooky​‘s encouragement, I have binged Buffy the Vampire Slayer and relived my childhood culture. And, it's a 10/10 for me. Not that it doesn't have flaws, but it's genuinely one of the best stories I've seen, with consistent character arcs, powerful themes, and a beautiful message. It's also like... purportedly about vampires and demons and superpowered chosen ones, but it's actually all about humanity.

Buffy was able to be a teenage girl, allowed to like the things teen girls are scorned for (boys, shopping, etc), to be insecure about the thing teenage girls are insecure about (future careers, dating, school, parents), and to be a superhero with its good and its bad aspects. The story wasn’t afraid to call Buffy on her flaws (sometimes she got in a very ‘I am the righteous chosen one’ mode) and to respect and honor each of her desires (to be a good person, to be loved, and more). The story listened to what she wanted and respected her desires, giving her the challenges needed to overcome her flaws while also never teaching her a lesson about wanting bad boys or romance is silly or any manner of dark warnings stories like to throw at teenage girls. 

It respected teenage girls--nerdy girls like Willow, jocks like Buffy, lonely wallflowers with trauma like Dawn, and popular/snobby ones like Cordelia, girls gone wild like Faith. It never once reduced them to the stereotypes that were lurking right there: each character was fully rounded, human, flawed and yet with respected interests and goals. This is so rare for a story that I’m still in awe. 

The story as a whole follows Buffy from 15 to 21, of her as she grows from teenager to adult. She acts like a teenager and grows to act like a young adult, wrestling with loneliness and duty. The adults, like Giles, Joyce, and Jenny, are not perfect either, but neither are they “bad parents” or “bad mentors” necessarily. Joyce in particular says something terrible to Buffy, but she tries to do better, and it’s rare to see a parent in YA stories shown with such nuance. Basically, it wrote the long-lasting adult characters as human beings, too. 

Speaking of growing up, I appreciated how Buffy’s love interests mirrored this. Angel was someone Buffy loved and admired, wanted to be like, but who was always either extreme good or extreme bad, and combined with Buffy’s own tendencies towards black-white thinking, made for a beautiful relationship to help her grow, but didn’t necessarily form a foundation for a long-term partner. Spike, on the other hand... they both saw each other at their worst and were drawn to each other even then, and were inspired to become better because they couldn’t bear to be a person who treated the other person so wrongly. They pushed each other to become the best them they could be, and believed in each other. Also, Spuffy is an enemies to lovers ship for the ages. 

(Also, most of the other ships were well-done or at least can be understood. Riley was very obviously wrong for Buffy which paralleled Harmony and Spike in being 100% wrong for each other. Cordelia and Xander were a fun ship even if we all knew it would never last, and Willow and Oz were beautiful and cute. But Xander and Anya and Willow and Tara? OTPs. As were Giles and Jenny, the librarian and the computer teacher.) 

That said, it’s not a perfect series. No story is. All of the characters and ships had problematic aspects to them worthy of critique, and the writing is very 90s in a lot of ways. It’s a product of its time, and in many ways it’s good society has progressed beyond some of the tropes/metaphors used in the show. In other way, though, the show was ahead of its time, and in a good way it wasn’t bound by the fear of purity policing with its takes on redemption (many characters would never fly today). 

So, in order of seasons ranked from my very favorite to my “still enjoyed it very much” (no season was actually bad, imo), here’s my review. I’ll also review my top 10 villains in the show, because Buffy does villains very well in terms of the redeemable and irredeemable.  

Season 7:  Yep, the final season was my favorite. 

Overall Opinion: Buffy's finale is literally "f*ck them men, our power is ours" and while it seems cheesy it actually works (also, f*ck in both a literal and figurative sense). The series strongly hit all the themes: love as strength, and redemption. Buffy consistently shows love as her strength--*all* kinds of love. Friendship w Willow/Xander, familial with Joyce/Dawn, romantic with Spike/Angel. These types of love are also never pitted against each other as is so often the case in current-day media. It's beautiful. Also, Spike’s confrontation with Wood was so powerful in terms of exploring forgiveness, redemption, and reconciliation: where they overlap and where they don't, and what it means to move forward. 

Unpopular Opinion: I have seen a lot didn’t like the inclusion of Potential Slayers, and while I agree they could have been better incorporated/characterized, it was a great way to show Buffy’s final stage of growing up to be ending her chosen one status and projecting/multiplying her powers over the world. 

Biggest Critique: Kennedy was female Riley--the anti-Tara to Riley’s anti-Angel (by ‘anti’ I mean opposite in every way). Kennedy was annoying and immature. Her role, like Riley’s, was less about exploring her as a character and more about her just being stamped as “love interest: lesbian.” 

Favorite Episodes: Beneath You, Lies My Parents Told Me, Touched, Chosen

Season 6: 

Overall Opinion: I said this on Twitter, but I felt like this was Buffy’s The Last Jedi or Empire Strikes Back moment. It is polarizing and dark, deconstructing the tropes it stands on--but by digging to the core of these tropes, it actually makes what’s good about them shine brighter. Everyone’s enemy was the worst versions of themselves. Giles left Buffy, Willow's struggle to relate to the world led to her trying to destroy it, Buffy hurt everyone through her anger, Xander abandoned Anya at the altar, Spike... yeah. It ages well as an integral part of the story, and the Trio were eerily prophetic. 

Unpopular Opinion: Dawn is a great character with a good arc. A traumatized teen acting out and struggling to come to terms with loss and identity? She wasn’t whiny; she was realistic. 

Biggest Critique: Willow’s addiction coding (I’ll discuss this below) and Seeing Red as an episode. I see the argument for both of its controversial scenes from a narrative perspective: Willow starts the season not grieving Buffy but instead being determined to fix it with magic and needs to learn to grieve, but. Still. Bury your gays is not a good look. For the Spike scene... he conflates sex/passion and violence (”love is blood, children” is something he said way back in season 3), but like Tara’s death, it had more to do with Spike (as Tara’s death did for Willow) than with Buffy’s arc, and as for the actual execution... they really botched that. Did it like... have to go on that long or go that far? No. Also, the framing was good, but inconsistent with the rest of the series (Xander to Buffy in the hyena episode, Faith to Xander and to Riley, etc.) 

Favorite Episodes: Once More With Feeling, Smashed, Grave

Season 3 (tied with Season 5):

Overall Opinion: The opening continuity of Buffy meeting Lily/Anne after saving her life in Season 2 was sweet. The Witchhunt episode had really powerful subtext: stories of deaths that aren’t even true are actually demons that possess the town and convince them to turn against their children in the name of protecting the children. It’s a good commentary on, oh, everything in society. Faith’s character arc was fantastic, and her chemistry with Buffy was off the charts (look, I may be Spuffy all the way, but Fuffy has rights). The finale was satisfying in so many ways, seeing the entire graduating class unite to destroy the Mayor and the school with it, symbolizing Buffy et al’s readiness to move on to college. Oz's relationship with Willow was very sweet and meaningful for a first romance for Willow. 

Unpopular Opinion: I actually don’t really have one. Maybe that the miracle in Amends was earned? I think you can make a decent case that Season 3 is the best written of the seasons, but can only truly be thematically appreciated to its full potential in the light of subsequent seasons (which finish Faith’s arc and deconstruct Buffy’s).  

Biggest Critique: It forgot Buffy killed the hyena guy in Season 1, making her continual insistence that she can’t kill people very ????? 

Favorite Episodes: Lovers Walk, Amends, Graduation Day Part 2 

Season 5, which ties with Season 3:

Overall Opinion: The entire season is about family and what it means, from Tara’s to Buffy’s to the Scoobies. I loved Glory aka Enoshima Junko as the Big Bad, I loved Dawn’s interesting meta commentary on retconning (like, the fact that she’s retconned in matters), and most of my ships are still alive. Joyce’s relationship with Spike is one of the most heartwarming aspects, and Spike’s arc’s desire is clearly highlighted: he wants to be seen as a person. The episodes after Joyce’s death are the most honest portrayals of grief I’ve ever seen, and absolutely brutal to watch. 

Unpopular Opinion: Buffy’s choice at the end seems a deliberate inversion of her choice at the end of Season 2 (sacrifice a loved one to save the world), but it actually isn’t: much like at the end of Season 2 where Buffy skips town because she’s devastated after killing Angel and doesn’t want to sort out being expelled, her mom knowing she’s the slayer, and her own trauma, Buffy’s sacrifice here was as much about her wanting the easy way out of relationships, family, college, etc. as it was about saving Dawn. Buffy’s death is coded as a suicide, which Season 6 emphasizes as well. 

Biggest Critique: Like Season 3, I don’t have a lot to critique here. I wish the suicidal coding had been a little more obvious in Season 5 itself, but also I’m not sure it could have been more obvious; it’s pretty apparent if you pay attention. Maybe also that Buffy and Riley’s relationship failing should have been more squarely blamed on Riley, you know, being insecure and cheating. 

Favorite Episodes: Family, Fool for Love, Intervention. 

Season 2:

Overall Opinion: Heartbreakingly tragic but exciting and revealing at the same time. It asked the viewer interesting questions about redemption and forgiveness and atonement through Angel being honest about his past, and then decided to show us his past now reenacted, challenging us. And still, we saw them save him in a parallel to saving Willow in Season 6 (but Season 2 was tragic because it wasn’t enough, while Season 6 was not). Jenny’s death was agonizing, and the scene were Angel watches Buffy, Willow, and Joyce get the news through the window was powerful. We didn’t have to hear them to get the grief. 

Unpopular Opinion: Jenny’s death isn’t a fridging; it works for her arc too when you consider her history. She worked to save the person whose life she was tasked to ruin, and it cost her her own--yet she still succeeded, because Jenny brought joy and wisdom to the show. Kendra’s death, on the other hand... was because they needed the stakes to be high--but we already knew that before she died. So, her death was useless. 

Biggest Critique: The subtext was Not It. It was essentially “do not have sex. Your older boyfriend will lose his soul, kill your friends, you’ll lose your family, your school, your home, and have to kill your true love or else hell will literally swallow earth.” 

Favorite Episodes: School Hard, Passion, Becoming Part 2.

Season 1:

Overall Opinion: I really liked it; it’s just lower on this list because the others are just better. It’s a great introduction to the series and to its characters, from Giles to Buffy to Willow to Jenny to Cordelia. It has great subtext a lot of the time (for example, Natalie French as She-Mantis is a literal predatory bug who engages in predatory behavior with students). Additionally, it subverts the typical YA trope of two guys and a girl, in which the girl is usually the least interesting character. Buffy and Willow were both fully fledged characters from the beginning with distinct strengths (even before Willow became a witch, as she wasn’t one in season 1 yet), while Xander was the more ordinary of the group. 

Unpopular Opinion/Biggest Critique: Xander’s arc showed its first flaws that unfortunately continued throughout the series: his writing was either very good or very indulgent in ways it never was for other characters.  (cough, the hyena episode, cough, in which he gets to skirt responsibility--and acknowledges that he is skirting it--for something the show will later hold others to account for). Xander’s just kind of inconsistent, which weakened his character over all. (Which is why both his love interests--Cordelia and then ultimately Anya--were good for him: they did not indulge him.) 

Favorite Episode: Witch, Nightmares. 

Season 4:

Overall Opinion: it’s still a good season. It’s a good portrayal of college and the growing pains of branching out, the strains of college growth on relationships (romantic and platonic). It shows us the first hints of Spuffy, giving us some serious Jungian symbolism between Spike and Buffy early on, and does well in establishing Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara as beautiful OTPs. Faith and Buffy’s foiling is fantastic. The Halloween episode was very fun as well. However, it suffers because its Big Bad, Adam, is not all that compelling thematically--yet, he could have been. See, the final battle pulls off the Power of Friendship in a really strong way but notably the season does not end there. Instead, it ends on dreams of each character’s worst fears, continuing what we saw in Nightmares in Season 1. Why? Because it shows us that the characters’ wars aren’t against monsters, but monsters of their own making: their flaws. Adam, as a literal Frankenstein, exemplifies this, but it wasn’t capitalized on as well as it could have been. 

Unpopular Opinion: Beer Bad isn’t a bad episode, at the very least because Buffy gets to punch Parker. It’s not one of the series’ best, obviously, but it does give Buffy an arc in that she gets her daydream of Parker begging her to come back, but she has overcome that desire and her desire for revenge. If we wanna talk about bad subtext in Season 4, Season 2′s Not It sex subtext continues in the Where the Wild Things Are episode in this season; it’s a powerful callout of abusive purity-culture churches, until the fact that the shame creates a literal curse undermines the progressive message it’s supposed to send. Also, the Thanksgiving episode (Pangs) is a nightmare of white guilt and Oh God Shut Up White People. 

Biggest Critique: Riley is awful. Like Kennedy, he had “love interest:normal” stamped on him and that was it. The thing is, he could have worked as an Angel foil, representative of the normal-life aspect of Buffy to Angel’s vampire/supernatural aspect, but the writers never explore this and seemed to even try to back away from that later on. They threw all the romantic cliches at the wall to see what sticks, from klutzy “I dropped my schoolbooks, that’s how we met” to cliché lines that had me rolling my eyes. Do you know how bad a romance has to be to make me dislike romantic tropes? 

Favorite Episodes: Fear Itself, Hush, Restless

Villain rankings: 

Dark Willow, the only villain to be truly sympathetic. While the addiction coding was insensitive and, while unsurprising for its time, aged extremely poorly. That said, Willow’s turn to the dark side after Tara’s death worked well for her character and the story: it was believable and paid off what had been building since Season 1's “Nightmares” episode (Willow’s inferiority complex). 

Glory managed to be genuinely terrifying, and humorous/enjoyable too. Her minions and their numerous nicknames for Glorificus were hilarious, as was her intense vanity. Her merging with Ben--a human being who genuinely wanted to be kind and good--added complexity and tragedy to her role. 

The First. A really good take on Satan. The seventh season as well as the First’s first appearance in season 3′s “Amends” had kind of blatant Christian symbolism, and so the First being essentially Satan works. Their disguising themselves as dead loved ones and the subtle manipulation they used to alienate people was really disturbing and well done. 

The Mayor, who was a terrible person but a truly good father. He provided an interesting contrast to the normal ‘bad dad’ bad guy character, in that he provided Faith exactly what the other characters refused to: he saw the best in her and offered her parental support, while the heroes didn’t and wound up pushing her away. 

The Trio, who were villains ahead of their time: whiny fanboy reddit dudebros, basically. The stakes seemed so much lower than fighting Glory, a literal god, the previous season. But that’s why they worked so well for Season 6′s human themes, and were especially disturbing because we all know people like them. I also appreciated the surprisingly sensitive takes on Jonathan and Andrew, who got to redeem themselves, but Warren did not, and I don’t think he should have either. 

Angelus + Drusilla. I’m ranking them below the Trio because Angelus was just sooooo different from Angel that it was difficult for me to feel the same way for him. He was still Angel, so it wasn’t possible to enjoy his villainy, but he also wasn’t nearly as sympathetic as Dark Willow, had no redeeming qualities like the Mayor, and wasn’t as disturbingly realistic as the Trio. However, the emotional stakes were excellently executed with him as the Big Bad, in that you were never quite sure how to feel and it just plain hurt. Also, Drusilla was a favorite recurring character. She was sympathetic and yet batsh*t enough to be enjoyable as a villain at the same time. 

The Master, who was just completely camp and really worked as an introductory villain. He was scary enough to believe he was a threat, and was funny enough to introduce the series’ humor as well. He was, like Glory, an enjoyable Big Bad. 

The Gentlemen, the one-off villains of Season 4′s Hush who were genuinely terrifying. It’s not as if they got a lot of explanation or any backstory, but they didn’t need it. 

Caleb, the misogynist priest. Fitting with the First’s Christian symbolism, Caleb serving as a spokesperson of all bad religious beliefs felt appropriate. He was also a good foil to Warren--being actually supernaturally powered instead of a wannabe--and to Tara’s family in being full-out evil. I despised him. 

Snyder. Okay Snyder is not a Big Bad like Adam is, but let’s face it: Adam is lame compared to the other villains. But Snyder as a principal? He was so irritating and yet really well used in the series to critique overly strict, hypocritical teachers. Like, we all know teachers like him. I loved to hate him, and his ending was so satisfying. 

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #spuffy #buffy summers #dawn summers #spike #angel #cordelia chase #btvs giles #willow rosenberg #tillow #tara maclay #anya jenkins #xanya #xander harris #jenny calendar #kendra young #faith lehane #hamliet reviews

[yikestripes]

Under the Mistletoe

request: Hey, I've got a Spence request! It's Christmas at the FBI, and the team has done Secret Santa, and you got Spencer, your best friend who you have fancied since you started at the FBI 5 years ago. You all go to Rossi's to spend the evening and morning, so you can all drink & not drive home. After presents and a few drinks, you and Spence end up under the mistletoe where he declares his feelings in front of the whole team, who encouraged him to tell you how he feels, before you arrived to the party

a/n: i didn’t expect to write this much, it was 7 pages on google docs. i am pretty proud of this tho.

warnings: FLUFF

word count: 3.6k

You looked around at the lights and garland that had adorned the bullpen as you entered the BAU for the first time after arriving home from the case. You grinned from ear to ear like a child as you took in the sight. Spencer was right behind you, pausing to take in the sight beside you. He looked down at you, still in awe, and smiled. You looked so beautiful to him under all those shining lights, and you just looked happier than you had in recent weeks. Christmas was usually tough for you anyway, and this year was no exception. Nonetheless, you persevered. Rossi had been planning a BAU Christmas party for a little bit over a month, with the help of you and Garcia, to make it the most magical Christmas any of you had had in a pretty long time. Needless to say, getting home from the case was more exciting than it usually was.

You tugged your go bag back to your desk and plopped down in your chair, rubbing your eyes. It was around 7pm and you all were going to Rossi’s right from the office to start the festivities. Knowing you wouldn’t be driving home, you had a second go bag packed and ready in your car, along with Spencer’s since you guys had carpooled. When you started at the BAU around 5 years ago, you and Spencer instantly became best friends. Granted, it took him a long time to really break out of his shell of awkwardness, but even then he was very comfortable around you. It was something about you that really made him feel, for lack of a better word, special. Not in the way that he was typically treated for being a genius, but just for being Spencer. That’s what Spencer loved most about you- the way you admired him for just being him. Not because he was a child prodigy and not because he was a genius. He was just Spencer.

Not to mention you always let him ramble and spill facts without ever telling him to shut up, or even interrupting him. Nevertheless, you quickly became very close, especially when you learned your apartment was right down the street from his. That’s when you two started carpooling to the office together. You always stopped at the local coffee shop or Starbucks to feed your coffee addictions, and went home around the same time every night. Spencer always made sure you made it inside safe, and vice versa. The funny thing was, for as incredible as you both were at your jobs as profilers for the BAU, neither of you had the faintest idea that you were in love with each other. Everyone in the entire building knew except for you two. Even Hotch was rooting for you two to get together.

“Ready to go, Spence?” You asked, shooting him a huge grin. He grins back and nods, throwing his bag over his head like he always did. You followed him out the door and to your car and drove yourselves to Rossi’s mansion. The ride was relatively quiet, Spencer had whipped out the book he started on the plane because he absolutely had to know how it ended, and of course he could finish it before you made it to Rossi’s.

“Did you do the secret santa?” You asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Yep.” You smiled to yourself. You actually got Spencer, and you couldn’t have been more excited. Regardless of whether you had gotten him for secret santa, you were planning to get him a little something anyway. Actually, a few things. You wracked your brain for a few days, wondering what Dr. Spencer Reid would like that he didn’t already have. Of course, you started with a giftcard to his favorite bookstore, along with the newest edition of his favorite collection of Edgar Allen Poe stories. You also got him a giftcard to Starbucks, to make up for all the times he’d paid for your coffee, despite your protests. You made him your famous chocolate chip cookies and your favorite thing? The Halloween Christmas sweater you’d found and KNEW you had to get it for him. He never understood the point of an ugly Christmas sweater, so you figured you would get one that celebrates his favorite holiday with the edition of it celebrating Christmas. You could already see the look on his face when he opened his gifts later that night.

“Hey Spence, can you help me?” Spencer only brought a gift bag with the edition of his overnight bag, meanwhile you had a couple bags, along with two bottles of wine for Rossi and your own overnight bag. He grabbed your overnight bag and a bottle of wine and headed up to the door with you following behind, praying you didn’t slip on any ice.

You made it to the door unscathed, being greeted by Prentiss who was already a glass of wine deep.

“It’s party time!” She said upon opening the door. You and Spencer grinned and followed her inside, kicking the door shut behind you. Everyone was already there, starting on the spiked eggnog drinks without you guys.

“Hey, I told you guys to wait for us!” You whined as you set your presents underneath Rossi’s massive Christmas tree. The others looked away and took sips of their drinks, earning a small glare from you. You opted to start with a glass of white wine and escalate from there later. You took a long sip as you sat along the counter beside JJ. She held up her hands in mock defense.

“I told them they should wait but no one ever listens to me!” You giggled a little and patted JJ’s shoulder sympathetically.

“I hear you. They never listen to me either,” You said, shooting a look in Spencer’s direction in particular. As if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned around and looked at you. When he saw you were already looking at him, he raised his eyebrows in question. You shook your head and he shrugged, returning to his conversation with Morgan and Rossi. Penelope was doing peppermint vodka shots with Prentiss while Hotch watched, somewhat amused as Emily started choking on hers. You smiled as you watched your friends ease into the party so quickly after such a long case. It warmed your heart to see them relaxed.

“I don’t know, Rossi. What if it ruins our friendship?” Reid asked, his voice small. He only softened his voice like that when he was unsure of himself.

“Look, kid. I may be old, but I do have eyes. She loves you, Reid.” Rossi said.

“Trust me, Pretty Boy. Everyone here sees the way you look at each other.” Derek agreed, taking a sip of his beer.

Spencer chewed on his lip thoughtfully when he felt eyes on his back. He turned back to see you staring at him, where you began giggling with JJ. Spencer raised his eyebrows as if to ask, “Did you need me?” and you shook your head. He shrugged and turned back to Rossi, who was smirking. He shared a look with Derek and walked over to Hotch, who was now forcing Emily to drink more water.

“Like I said, trust me.” Derek said quietly as he left Spencer in the center of the kitchen to his thoughts. They were quickly interrupted as Rossi announced it was time for presents. Spencer grinned, this was what he was the most excited for. He had you for secret santa and he knew he really nailed his gift to you this year. He knew you better than anyone, and thanks to his eidetic memory, he knew everything that you had mentioned in passing were small things that you wanted. Including the necklace that you’d pointed out in the jewelry shop down the street from your apartments 8 months and 29 days ago, on your way to Starbucks. You gazed at it longingly every single time you passed by, but never could justify purchasing it for yourself.

“Alright kiddos, gather round.” Rossi said. Everyone made their way to the couches and sat as you helped to hand out presents.

“Morgan, these are yours. No one open anything until everyone has a gift!” You stared at Emily in particular, who grinned sheepishly. Hotch placed a hand on her leg and smiled at her, knowingly.

“JJ, this bag is yours. Hmm, Garcia this one is yours, Emily, Hotch,” You handed them out one by one. “Ah, here’s yours Spence.” You hauled a couple bags over, and his eyes widened at the sheer amount of stuff adorning both bags.

“Here’s yours, Rossi, and I just found mine!” You sat on the floor and crossed your legs out in front of you.

“Alright, how are we doing this?” Morgan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do we all just open at the same time orrr…”

“No, someone can go first and each person who has the person opening goes next, makes sense?” Everyone nodded. “Rossi, you can go first since you oh so graciously hosted. And are letting us stay the night.” You added. Everyone laughed as David shook his head, quickly tearing into the bright wrapping paper. His jaw dropped slightly as he pulled out a box of cigars.

“I told you before, my dad was a cigar aficionado. I know what you like, Rossi.” Derek winked. Rossi rose and said a few words of excitement in Italian before kissing Derek on both cheeks and pulling him into a hug. He laughed and clapped Rossi on the back before returning to his seat, and digging into the gift bag in front of him.

“Alright, I see you secret santa!” Derek pulled out a Chicago Cubs baseball jersey, along with a few other baseball related things.

“I had to delve a bit more into the sports world than I’m used to, but i’m really glad you like it.” Emily smiled. He pulled her into a tight hug.

“Okay Em, you can go.” You wiggled your eyebrows as she fake glared, ripping her wrapping paper to shreds.

“Oh my God! I love it!” Prentiss held up a couple different books by her favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut. JJ grinned.

“Look deeper.” Prentiss dug deeper into the bag and pulled out a beautiful set of hand painted wine glasses.

“JJ, these are beautiful!” Prentiss gave her a hug and started taking them out of the box and passing them around to those that were drinking wine, or planned on it later. She disappeared into the kitchen to clean the glasses and fetch the wine.

“Alright JJ, it’s your turn!” You were especially eager for this one, knowing that Spencer would be coming up soon and you could finally see the look on his face. You’d had the gifts in your possession for 2 weeks and his turn could not come fast enough.

Finally, it was Spencer’s turn. You watched as he tore into the neatly wrapped gift box first. You knew he’d open that one first because it was the biggest box. He pulled the sweater out, seemingly confused at first, before it dawned on him.

“Oh my God, it’s a Halloween Christmas sweater! I love it!” He grinned and took off his blazer, revealing the tshirt beneath. He threw the sweater overtop and pulled the sleeves to his elbows, grinning with the joy of a little kid. He was so excited that he almost forgot about the other presents on the floor beside him. He finally made eye contact with you and you indicated he had other things to open. He sat back down, a slight blush crossing his cheeks as he opened the book and gift cards.

“I love everything, thank you so so much, (Y/N).” He said, the look on his face screaming genuine happiness and excitement.

“Actually, there’s one more thing.” He furrowed his eyebrows as you snuck around behind the tray, retrieving the tin of cookies you’d hidden back there, fully knowing the vulchers you called friends would find them if you put them anywhere else. Spencer’s jaw dropped.

“Are those your famous chocolate chip cookies?!” He asked, incredulous. He knew they were incredibly special to you, which is why it was so rare for you to make them. You grinned and nodded. He jumped up, threw the tin on the sofa, and pulled you into a hug. He picked you up a little, causing you to giggle uncontrollably.

“Thank you endlessly, (Y/N).” He said quietly, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek. A deep blush rose to your cheeks. As you both pulled away, you noticed Spencer was blushing like crazy too.

“I guess that leaves me!” You said, noticing everyone else had opened their presents. You grinned as you dug into yours, pulling out a Starbucks gift card, a new Starbucks tumbler to replace the one you broke a few weeks back, the anniversary copy of your favorite book, (Y/F/B), and finally, a small, blue velvet box was crammed at the very bottom of the back. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and opened it with a gasp. You snapped your head up to meet Spencer, who was grinning at you sheepishly, his cheeks tinted bright pink.

“I-I knew you’ve been l-looking at that necklace for months, so….” He trailed off, breaking eye contact to stare at the floor. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “If you don’t like it I can take it back,” You stared at him in awe as tears threatened.

“Spence,” You said breathlessly, touching the necklace with a careful finger. “I love it, thank you so much.” Everyone in the room shared a look, fully knowing what was coming. You and Spencer were so busy with each other, that you didn’t notice when Rossi silently ushered the others out of the room and into the hallway to watch.

“Would you mind putting it on for me?” You asked quietly, handing Spencer the small box with a shaky hand.

“S-sure.” Spencer silently cursed his shaking hands as he fiddled with the clasp for a minute, before it clicked into place.

“Thanks.” You glanced up at the tall, lanky Doctor, when something a few feet above his head caught your eye. You gestured up at it, catching his attention.

“Mistletoe.” You said quietly. You got up on your tiptoes and placed a warm, soft kiss on his cheek, earning a blush from Spencer. A weird look came across his face when he suddenly grabbed your face, and crashed his lips into yours. You immediately melted into both Spencer and the kiss, forgetting where you were for just a moment as it was just you and him, alone together.

You pulled apart for air breathlessly, as you looked into the face of what used to be your best friend. That barrier had absolutely been shattered, but when Spencer broke out into a small, shy smile, you knew that it was meant to be that way.

“I…. I’ve been in love with you for the last 4 and a half years. It didn’t take me long at all to realize that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, but when I realized how smart, funny, and caring you were? I knew it was over for me. I didn’t say anything for the last few years because I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” You whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, and smiled a little more.

“Losing you.”

“You’ll never lose me. Not ever.” You shook your head defiantly, and placed another kiss on his lips. This one was much quicker, but filled with all the love and words that hadn’t been spoken until just now, and any words you could ever hope to say. Your friends cheered from beside you as you buried your head in Spencer’s chest, embarrassed. There were rounds and rounds of congratulations, told you so’s, and even a few bets had apparently been placed. You glared as they exchanged money and sheepish grins. You shook your head as you followed your friends into Rossi’s kitchen to continue getting your drink on.

**

It had been a few hours since Spencer’s confession, and to celebrate, you had accidentally had a few drinks too many. You started playing a drinking game with Derek and Prentiss that you had ceremoniously named “Beerio Cart”, and played several rounds since you were the champion. You grinned proudly, Spencer placing a plastic crown you all had found the last time you were at Rossi’s on top of your head, much to Derek’s ego’s chagrin. Following that, you had a few shots with Hotch and Garcia, followed up by the peppermint schnapps Penelope had prepared. Needless to say, the entire team was pretty hammered. IN the last few hours of the evening, Spencer had opted to drink more water and sober himself up slightly in order to save himself the pain the following day.

Rossi was on the same page as Spencer, not to mention the older Italian man’s tolerance was that of a bull. He could probably drink an entire bottle of wine and still be under the legal limit. He had retired to bed around 12:30am, fully aware that he was going to have to cook breakfast for his hungover “children” the following morning. You, Spencer, Prentiss, and Derek were the last ones awake, and now Derek had decided to retire to bed.

“Goodnight, and Merry Christmas.” Derek slurred, tripping up the stairs a little bit. It was the last round of Beerio Cart with Prentiss and Hotch that had done Derek in. Hotch had gone to bed shortly after that, Emily promising him that she would be up shortly after. That was 2 hours ago, and Emily was still downstairs with you and Spencer. She looked around, seeing that everyone except you two had gone to bed, and you were quickly crashing. She shrugged and stumbled up the stairs, managing to make it to her room with Hotch relatively easily. At least it was the first one at the top of the stairs.

Spencer turned his attention to you, and smiled warmly. You were starting to fall asleep standing up. He’d seen you do this a few times before, and usually was able to coax you into either laying your head on his lap if you were on the jet or on his shoulder if you were going to be in the SUVs.

“(Y/N), are you ready to go to bed?” You opened your eyes slowly and blinked, processing his question slowly. You nodded and rubbed your eyes, smearing your makeup all over the place. Spencer smiled a little and guided you to your room, sitting you on the bed.

“Close your eyes, love.” You complied quietly as Spencer gently wiped your makeup off. He tucked you into your bed and placed a kiss on your forehead, turning to leave. He felt you grab his wrist and turned around, caught totally off guard. You were sitting up, wearing your best puppy dog eyes face.

“Stay with me?” You said in such a soft voice, that made Spencer’s heart melt. He glanced at the door, then back at you, where you were still pleading with your eyes. He gave in, took off his shoes, and climbed in beside you. He wrapped an arm around you and you laid on his chest, quickly falling asleep to the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat.

***

You began stirring when the smell of pancakes wafted up the stairs and into your room. You scrunched your face at the harshness of the light peaking through the windows, and felt the onset headache.

“Fuck.” You whispered, rubbing your temples.

“Good morning.” Spencer said quietly beside you, sitting up to lean on his elbow. He donned his glasses and his scruff was already growing slightly.

“Good morning, Spence.” You said, your voice still raspy. You looked at the bedside table in search of your phone and saw two ibuprofen tablets and some water. You gulped them down gratefully and immediately felt relief.

You and Spencer made your way downstairs, greeting by the sight of your hungover friends, and Rossi, who was flipping pancakes and bacon at the stove.

“Oh look who decided to join us! The reigning Beerio Cart champion.” He smirked. You saw the crown sitting on the kitchen table and you grabbed it, placing it on top of your head.

“I stand by that wholeheartedly.” You said, folding your arms over your chest. Rossi shrugged.

“If you say so, kid.” You took a seat beside Hotch, who was rubbing circles into Emily’s back on the other side of him. She looked about as bad as you felt, and you instantly hoped you didn’t look like that, especially not in front of Spencer. As if he could hear your thoughts, he smiled at you, and you smiled back. You glanced down at his lips and flicked your eyes back up to meet his, when he closed the gap and pecked you on the lips. You grinned and a blush rose to your cheeks, as you munched on the pancakes Rossi set before you.

“Please tell me you two aren’t always going to be that sickeningly adorable.” Garcia said, wearing her sunglasses inside. You laughed a little, feeling a pain shoot through your brain. You groaned slightly, busying yourself with your pancakes. Spencer made you a bloody mary, spouted out facts about the origin of the drink, the useful properties of it, and anything else he’d known about it. You listened as you sipped, starting to feel just a little bit better. Whether that was with the help of the bloody mary or Spencer, you already knew the answer.

It was Spencer.

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds imagines #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #dr reid #doctor spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #agent reid #derek morgan #derek morgan x reader #penelope garcia x derek morgan #agent derek morgan #penelope x derek #derek morgan x penelope garcia #penelope garcia #penelope garcia and derek morgan #penelope garcia x kevin lynch #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner x oc #aaron hotchner imagines #aaron hotchner x beth #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x aaron hotchner

[mattsunism]

nsfw! kyoutani kentarou x female reader

Nothing in the room could be heard except for the light pants that came from the blond haired boy.

He breathed out shakily, his eyes fixated on your hand that was lightly running up his bare thigh, causing goosebumps to rise. Despite the suggestive actions, your face held little emotion, making you seemingly nonchalant about the whole thing. You kicked away the folders next to you with your foot, letting the math homework be strewn messily onto the floor.

“W-what are you doing?” He rasped, his eyes practically boring holes into your hand with his intense glare, following its every motion. You stared up at him through hooded eyes, batting your eyelashes. “What do you mean?” You asked him, smiling innocently. At this he was silent, choosing to let out a shaky exhale as your hand moved further up to palm him through his clothed shorts.

“S-stop,” he manages to let out, his hand clamping down on your wrist.

“But Kyoutani,” you let out lowly, “if I do that, then what are you going to do about this problem?”

“This doesn’t exactly seem like a little issue,” you mused, lightly pressing your palm down on the prominent bulge that strained against the fabric of his shorts. He let out a ragged breath in response to your actions, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly.

You took in the sight before you, your mouth practically watering at the captivating sight before you. It was funny to think that the Mad Dog that spiked fear through the hearts of so many volleyball players was a mere pup when it came to stuff like this. Seeing this vulnerable side of him made you want to tease him even more, and you continued on, cheekily enjoying the way his face flushed and his body reacted to your touch.

Embarrassed at how reactive he was, he moved his arm in front of his face, trying to cover up the blush that adorned his cheeks. He mumbled something, bucking his hips up slightly, craving more from your wandering hands.

“What’s that?” You said liltingly. Your fingers played with the elastic band of his shorts, your hand occasionally brushing against his stomach. As you continued to push his buttons you pressed your thighs together, trying to ignore the heat that pooled in between your legs. You absolutely loved teasing Kyoutani, enjoying the way his intimidating demeanor quickly cooled at the mere touch of your fingers. HIs cute response always brought out the dominant side in you, wanting to treat him like a pillow princess.

You pulled at the waistband of his shorts and slipped your hand in, watching him carefully. He clenched his teeth at the sudden contact before throwing his head back at the jolts of pleasure that invaded his mind.

Fuck. Your mouth grew dry and your breath hitched at his response, indulging in every pant and groan that emitted from the blond haired boy.

You wrapped your fingers around his cock gently before moving up and down slowly. Your thumb ran over the tip, smearing the pre-cum that had accumulated. You felt his body shiver, and he let out a low moan. His fingers tightened on your wrist but you didn’t even notice the pain, as the throbbing between your thighs was far more painful.

“How cute,” you cooed. His brain prickled at the overwhelming pleasure that came with something with something so simple as a touch, a mere motion. He was powerless against you, but he was almost too addicted to the ecstasy to let his pride win this fight.

Almost.

At your words his eyes fluttered open and he furrowed his brows, glaring, before pushing you back to lay back on the bed. He leaned forward so that he was now towering over you, his left arm holding himself up so that you were caged.

He noticed the way your thighs pressed together, rubbing against each other ever so slightly in a desperate attempt to relieve yourself. He pressed his hand to your cheek, rubbing his fingers over your bottom lip lightly, before letting his hand trail down your body, making sure that his hand ran over every curve and dip along the way.

“Kyoutani,” you let out breathily. He looked up from praising your body and blushed softly, slightly embarrassed at his own inexperience.

“Am… Am I doing this right?”

You grabbed his wrist and tugged it down towards your core, impatient and needy.

“Yes, yes, yes. Just touch me already,” you whimpered, your need to be satisfied overtaking your previous plans, and his eyes widened slightly at your desperation. He had never seen you like this, and seeing you so eager for his touch made arousal course through his body, blood rushing straight down. At your command he reached his hand down your sweatpants, fingers moving to trace the damp spot on your panties.

He swears he could have come right then and there, just by feeling how you were practically dripping for him. His pride swelled, his confidence growing, and his fingers pushed your panties aside so that his long digits were now rubbing against the folds of your pussy.

“Kyou, Kyou,” you called out for him desperately, craving more. You attempted to grind down on his fingers, letting out a frustrated moan when you realized it wasn’t enough. “Your fingers,” you whined out, panting. “Put your fingers in my pussy, Kyou. Fuck me with your fingers, baby, please.”

A light blush covered his face, and he nodded slightly, not trusting his own voice. You guided his hand to your cunt, and he gently inserted a finger, then another. You moaned at the way his fingers curled inside of you, and your thighs squeezed together, trapping his hand.

“Is this good?” He spoke lowly in your ear, waiting for your approval.

You nodded but pushed him away, ignoring the confused look that he gave you. Wordlessly, you sat up and tugged your sweatpants off, throwing it over the side of the bed so it could join the forgotten homework that was scattered over the floor. You moved to sit on his lap, and moved your hips; enjoying the feeling of his dick straining against your pussy through the fabric that separated you two.

“Kyou,” you whispered, your voice hoarse with need. He swore that you were an incubus sent from hell to bewitch him. “Put it in,” you panted, pressing a small kiss to his jawline. He swallowed thickly, a mixture of desire and anticipation filling him.

“P-protection, we need-“ His words stopped in his throat as you took his hand, and sucked the same two fingers that were just in you a few moments ago. The warmth of your mouth combined with the strange feeling of your tongue circling his fingers made his mind grow fuzzy with desire, all rational thoughts leaving his mind at once.

With a pop, you pulled his fingers out of your mouth, before leaning forward so that your lips brushed over his ear. “Put it in raw. Please fuck me like the cockslut I am, Kyou. Fill me up and mark me,” you whispered lowly in his ear.

“Can you do that for me, baby?”

I must be in a dream. This is the best fucking day of my life, the boy thought, silently thanking the gods above.

Taking his silence as permission, you pulled down his shorts, watching the way his dick sprung up, its tip wet with pre-cum. You were now on your knees, hovering over his lap. You looped an arm around his neck and used your other hand to hold his cock in place as you slowly eased yourself onto him, your breath hitching at the way he filled you up.

Your head fell back and your mouth opened wordlessly, too deep in bliss to utter any sound. Kyoutani let out a harsh breath, his hands making his way to your hips and grabbing them tightly. You hugged his neck tightly, your breasts bouncing lewdly as you continued to ride his dick.

“Shit,” Kyoutani rasped lowly, harshly pulling you down onto him so that he filled you up completely and was buried balls deep inside you. “You’re so pretty,” he murmured, pressing a sloppy kiss to your shoulder before burying his head into the crook of your neck and pulling your hips back up to ram into you, all self-restraint having left his body.

You were filled with ecstasy, your mind numb. “S’good, feels good,” you babbled, your eyes rolling back into your head in pure pleasure. A few moments later his grip tightened on your hip (you were sure he left bruises), and he moaned into your shoulder. “Coming,” he moaned, and you clenched around him in response, urging him to release inside of you.

With a few more thrusts, he shuddered as he came in you; at the feeling of him filling up your stomach you dug your fingernails into his back, feeling yourself also reach your high. Kyoutani winced slightly, but continued to thrust into you, a hand coming down to rub circles on your swollen clit. “C’mon baby, I know you can do it,” he encouraged, and at those words you tumbled over the edge, your walls tightly clenching his dick. With a sigh you let your head fall onto his shoulder, your orgasm still pulsing throughout your body.

After he had caught his breath, Kyoutani gently pulled you off his cock, ignoring your faint whine. He watched the way your hole clenched, his cum slowly seeping out. He admired the view before pulling on his shorts and standing up to grab a washcloth to clean you up, but you grabbed his wrist, pulling him back.

“Can we lay like this for a bit?”

At your breathless voice, Kyoutani fell back onto the bed, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Fine.”

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu!! #hq #kyoutani imagine #kyoutani x reader #kyoutani kentarou #kyoutani smut #aoba johsai #seijoh

[dameronology]

forever & then some {obi-wan x reader}

summary: sometimes you doubt the jedi order - but you could never doubt obi-wan kenobi (for @ohhellokenobi - u said u wanted fluff and i hope this delivers)

this a repost of one i posted about 2 hours ago cos it wasn’t showing up in the tags and it was irking me am soz 

warnings: probably language? a very brief mention of the usual star wars canon typical violence but other than this is 100% pure unadulterated pining and yearning

- jazz xx 

It had been easy at first to pretend that you were okay.

When the war was only just beginning, you’d managed to stay hopeful. You’d managed to cling onto every last bit of optimism that you’d had, scrambling to find it with each passing battle, as though you were desperately gathering up pieces of a shattered illusion, trying to string it back together. Was that not what the Jedi order had been built on? Justice; the desire to find a balance in the galaxy, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, the equality would stay. That mantra was built into the very core of the beliefs you’d dedicated your life to. Every time you marched into battle with your men behind you, you’d repeat it over and over in your head.

Peace. Security. Justice.

Most of the Jedi would blindly follow the orders of the Council without so much as a shadow of a doubt. If they came from the Council, they were just. They were right, and they had pure intentions. You were fighting the good fight, right? The Jedi were the good guys. The other side were the bad guys.

But was it always that black and white? Acknowledging that the other side were bad didn’t automatically make you good. You were losing men everyday - good men, innocent men - and even though they had been born and bred to fight, it didn’t take away from the pain. They were your friends, and you’d found yourself wondering if you were doing the right thing.

It wasn’t an easy train of thought to deal with, not when you spent twenty-hours-a-day fighting in the war. You didn’t really have time to be introspective, let alone allow your mind to wander off to a place of politics and morals. Questioning everything wasn’t an option when you’d been taught to follow orders without a second thought. That didn’t mean you forgot about it - just pushed it to the back of your mind. You’d been taught to put your faith into the Jedi, and to believe that the light side would prevail. There were days where it felt like putting your blind trust into the Order was like stepping off of a ledge with a noose around your neck and hoping that there was sufficient ground below you to save you from the rope.

You were particularly feeling that on a cold, wet Friday afternoon.  Rain was lashing down on Coruscant, enveloping the city in a bubble of grey and gloom. You were sat in a bar a few miles out from the Temple, mindlessly staring at your drink and occasionally blinking at the reflections of the bright light that glared up at you from the flat beer. Who’s idea had it been to drink today? Wolffe’s, probably. With the right amount of encouragement, he probably had the power to turn the entire 501st into raging alcoholics.

‘You’re being awfully quiet.’ Obi-Wan commented from beside you.

If you were looking for a silver lining, the difficulty of the war had any prior complications about your secret relationship seem like an absolute doddle. You’d never doubted Obi-Wan - not once in the years that you’d known one another - but the current climate was simply a reminder of how much you needed him. You knew that he dealt with his own demons, and that he struggled with the war and the loss it brought, but it felt like he always knew what to say. If you were looking for a reason not to leave the Order, he was it.

‘I’m fine.’ You murmured, gently pushing your drink away. ‘Just don’t feel like drinking.’

The Jedi moved closer, shuffling up next to you in the booth you were in. ‘The energy around you is enough to give the entire city depression, darling.’

Fucking Force connection, you thought. It made hiding things from him impossible - not that you liked doing it, but it’s not as though you gave him weather forecasts on what your mood was. You didn’t want to talk about it. You just wanted to...simmer.

‘Pleaaaaase just let me wallow in my pity.’ You groaned, gently ghosting your hand over his.

‘You have a lot on your mind.’ He said.

‘You think I don’t know that?’ You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head towards him.

‘Come on.’ Obi stood up, exiting the booth and holding his hand out to you. ‘Let’s go home.’

‘But I promised Rex-’

‘- he’s had five pints of beer. Rex can’t tell the difference between you and a lamp post right now.’

Nodding - but not without a grimace - you tossed a few credits onto the table and followed Obi-Wan out the bar. The rain was still coming down hard on the city, bouncing off the streets and reflecting the bright lights of the buildings back at you from the wet ground, creating tiny galaxies in the puddles as you trudged through them.

Once you were far away enough from the bar to be clear of any clones, Obi-Wan wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. The gesture was natural and entirely thoughtless, but the tension you were holding in your bones immediately evaporated at his touch. His presence was almost intoxicating in that sense; calming, addictive and occasionally enough to make you a little bit giddy.

He had to release his grip once you’d got to the Temple - you had to keep up appearances after all- but the minute you reached his quarters, his hands were back on you and pulling you towards the refresher. He worked on autopilot, pulling off your damp robes and passing you fresh ones. The clothes belonged to him, but they were clean and dry and smelt faintly of his aftershave. They weren’t that far off from one of his hugs.

‘Sit.’ Obi-Wan almost strong-armed you into a blanket, wrapping you up against his mattress. Even when you had your own quarters, you near enough spent every night here. ‘Now talk to me.’

‘I told you, Obi.’ You murmured, snuggling further into the duvet. ‘I just have a lot on my mind.’

‘Sharing is caring.’

‘That applies to things like cake. Not depression.’

‘What’s mine is yours?’

‘Same principle-’

‘- darling, please.’ He twisted on his side to face you, hands gently cupping your face. ‘I hate seeing you like this.’

‘You won’t like it.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘Fine.’ You sighed. ‘But it’s a lot.’

‘Try me.’

You cleared your throat, sitting up slightly.

‘I think I’m losing faith in the Jedi Order.’ You stated. ‘Not just the council, but everything we stand for. There are days when I can’t see the difference between what we’re doing and what Grievous is doing and I just...I wonder if we’re on the good side.’

Obi-Wan blinked at you in surprise. Aside from when he’d broken his promise of no attachment (worth it), you knew that he had utter and complete unwavering loyalty to the Jedi. Perhaps that’s why you’d been so resistant to tell him - because he wouldn’t get it.

A small sigh escaped his lips, and he pushed a few strands of hair out your face. ‘How long have you been feeling like this, my love?’

‘I can’t pinpoint it.’ You murmured. ‘I did try to push it down at first, to ignore it and act like I was overthinking but I’m losing people, Obi. What if it’s you next time-’

‘- hey, stop.’ His grip on you grew a little tighter. ‘It won’t be. I can promise you that. I will always come home to you, okay? I’m not going anywhere.’

It was hard not to believe him, because he said it with so much confidence, as though he were so sure of his love for you that not even a droid army could get in his way. You had faith in that, because you probably would have done the same. People didn’t always find their strength until the thing they loved the most was at stake. Grief and fear were sometimes the most powerful things.

‘I know.’ You let out a small sigh, nodding. ‘And I also know you’re the last person who would ever question the Jedi and maybe I’m just being too introspective-’

‘- your feelings are valid.’ Obi pressed a kiss to your forehead. ‘Especially with everything going on, and it’s natural to lose your faith in things.’

‘So how do you do it?’ You asked. ‘How do you keep your faith when the world around is a giant ceiling fan filled with bantha crap?’

‘I find faith in other things.’ He said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘I’ll admit I’ve had my trust in the Order shaken too, so I find it in other places.’

‘Where?’

‘In the clones. They’re good men, and I know they wouldn’t go into battle and engage in combat unless it were for a good reason.’ He began. ‘And the individuals on the Council. I’ve worked with them for years and I trust them to make the right calls.’

‘Right.’ You nodded. ‘That’s a good point.’

‘But above all, I have faith in you.’ That part caught you off guard. ‘I completely and entirely dedicate myself to the idea - perhaps even the fantasy - that if everything around us falls apart, I’ll still have you. Whether that’s as Jedi, or as two fugitives running around the galaxy, I know that everything will be okay as long you’re by my side.’

‘Damn.’ You murmured. ‘I can’t top that.’

Obi let out a small laugh, shaking his head at your comment. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘It makes sense, though.’ You replied. ‘Sometimes you’re the only thing that makes sense - like the only thing I can really trust. The only constant.’

‘I love you.’

Obi-Wan always stated it so plainly and simply: I love you. He didn’t have to say anything else because he didn’t have to. Your love for one another was just a fact of life and something that didn’t need to be explained, in the same way that Mace Windu was bald or that Anakin was a pain in the ass. It just was.

‘I love you too.’ You said. ‘So much.’

‘And whatever happens, it’ll always be you and me.’ He reminded you. ‘Above all, that is the only thing that matters.’

‘Once again, I cannot top that.’

‘Darling, once again, you don’t have to.’ Obi-Wan laughed. ‘Anything you fail to say, I can feel.’

‘Oh maker, is it time for a monologue about the Force?’ you groaned.

‘I thought you loved my monologues.’

‘I tolerate them.’ You poked his cheek playfully. ‘It’s you that I love, idiot.’

‘And you’ve sworn yourself to me forever.’ He leant down to brush his lips against yours, momentarily causing you to ascend any planetary atmosphere the galaxy had to offer. ‘So who’s the real idiot?’

‘Me.’ You dropped your head into his shoulder, letting out a groan.

‘Forever.’

‘And then some.’

#obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan imagine #obi-wan kenobi imagine #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars fan fic #star wars #star wars imagines #star wars preferences #star wars headcanons

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Sakura's First Guitar Lesson

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted some writing here because most of the time I use my a03. For Sk8Tember writing athon I originally wanted to do Fairy Tale day which is tomorrow. However, since I'm currently in the middle of changing up my writing style from first person to third person to try and be a better writer I thought that it would be for the best that I pick Instrument Day because guess what? Today is my birthday! I'm now officially 22 years old even if I don't look or act like it. I'm here to celebrate my birthday with everyone by sharing my new writing with all of you.

Songs mentioned in the fic:

La Via Strangiato: Rush

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK1hmDpa8bo

The Long And Winding Road: The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM

Let It Be: The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYfEBY9NM4

Sakura Nanjo rocked back and forth on her heels outside of the music studio that she had her first lessons in. Since she told her parents that the thing she wanted to do more than anything in the world was to learn how to play the bass guitar just like her hero, they had been encouraging. Haru even found that he had a profound interest in learning how to play the drums. In reality, he wanted to do it so that his sister wouldn’t feel alone in wanting to try something new. He would never admit that to her though. There were some things that his sister did not need to know. She would never let him live it down if she knew the actual reason why he was so adamant about learning to play the drums.

“Sakura, if you keep doing that you’re going to wear yourself out. I know that you’re excited but it’s really starting to freak me out.” Her best friend, Miya Chinen, reminded her lightly with that same small smile that he often had when he was around her. He couldn’t help but find this childish and excitable side of her adorable. She would always be cute in his mind but especially when she got excited about the simplest of things. Like learning how to play an instrument that had always spoken to her.

“I can’t help it! I’m excited, I’m nervous, part of my brain is screaming at me because what if this is a really bad idea and what if I’m not any good at this thing that I’ve never tried before and change is terrifying and-“ He lightly put his arm around his best friend cutting off her word vomit. She only got like this when she was way past nervous and her brain to mouth filter failed her.

“Change is scary but it can also be good for you. You told me so yourself that this is something you’ve wanted to do for all your life right?” Sakura nodded her head nervously trying to stop this anxiety from bubbling up inside of her. With the recent diagnosis of aspergers syndrome she’s still learning to cope with the help of her friends and family.

“Well yeah, I’ve always loved the idea of playing music. Especially bass guitar because of my fixation on Rush and on Geddy Lee as a whole.” She argued and he just chuckled lightly at his best friend. Leave it to her to want to do something that could potentially become life altering just because her favorite singer did it too.

“Then I think that it would be a great experience for you to have if it’s something that you really want to do. It’ll make you happy and give you a hobby that you didn’t have before. You really need to have more hobbies other than cooking Saki.” She sighed knowing that her best friend was right as she looked over at the music studio.

“I know that it’s bad. But this could be something that I get really passionate about. I already know that it won’t necessarily be easy. Nothing really ever is easy for me.” She looked down at her skateboard tracing the end of her Haku dragon sticker before sighing slightly. Nobody ever did anything by being anxious about every little change that they came across. If that was the case then most of her favorite music would have never come to exist.

“Skating came rather easily for you after you got those grips for your feet. You just needed to distribute your weight easier than the way that you were.” Miya argued lightly hating that she would get like this sometimes. She shouldn’t ever have the need to feel sad. He preferred her when her ruby red eyes lit up with happiness rather than downcast and saddened like they were right now.

“Yeah that doesn’t mean that I’ll be good at this though… what if all of this is just me being childish?” She just sighed burying her head in her hands. Now that she had been told to stop being so overly excited the dread was starting to sink in. Her playing bass guitar? Yeah and the moon is secretly made of cheese.

“I don’t think that it’s you being childish. I think that it’s you trying to make yourself into a better version of yourself. You’re clearly not happy and you barely do anything for yourself simply because you want to. Saki you can’t know that you suck at something if you’ve never really tried it before. I know that you can do this because you’re the bravest person that I’ve ever met. You can literally do anything that you set your mind to. If you can dream it you can do it.” He comforted her and watched as slowly the light came back to her eyes.

“You’re right! I can do this, and I’ll be good at it as long as I work hard enough at it. I know that I can do this.” She clenched her left fist and shook it up at the sky daring anyone to tell her otherwise. If you asked Miya, this was the first thing that he really noticed about her that was different. He never met anyone that was as determined to do their best until he met Sakura. Her determination to defy every obstacle inspired him to push past his limits as well.

“That’s the stubborn best friend that I know and love.” He lightly teased and she looked down at her lap picking up the instrument that was there. The second that Kaoru found out his beloved daughter wanted to learn to play bass guitar he found the best one that he could through hours of off the clock research. He wanted his little girl to be happy and if this is what would make her happy and confident in her own wicked way then he would do everything that he felt within his power to do so. The guitar that he had eventually chosen for her was a lilac colored and sparkly one that he thought just suited his little girl’s personality.

“Shut up, I know I’m super stubborn already. It’s why me and Haru struggle so hard to see eye to eye because he’s just as stubborn as I am if not more.” She huffed a breath thinking about the argument that her and her brother had gotten into last night. It had been about something so stupid but it had just got blown way out of proportion and now she wasn’t sure if things were going to be awkward around him for a while. It had been about who was going to make dinner that night and Haru just blew up at her. Of course, never to back down from a fight the only thing that Sakura did was yell right back at him.

“He’ll forgive you eventually Saki. He always does you’ll go home and there will be forgive me cookies on the table for you. Besides he’s usually the one who yells first and knows that you will yell back. I’ve never once seen you actually pick the fight with him personally.” Miya hated when Haru would purposefully try and ruin her mood. He knew that he was just going through his own personal hell as he was still in the early stages of transitioning but he didn’t need to take his anger and aggression out on her.

“This one was really stupid though. It was just over who would make dinner since dad had to be at the restaurant late and mom was working late surprising absolutely no one ever.” Kaoru had always been the type that worked long hours even at the cost of not spending a whole lot of time at home with his children. He did the best that he could with the time that he was given and had mandatory time with them on weekends but the house was most of the time silent except for the twins. And sometimes they just couldn’t be around each other without a screaming match breaking out.

“You guys are the kids of Cherry and Joe, it would be weird if you guys didn’t fight constantly.” Miya tried to joked just to hear her laugh, which it worked. The first thing that really drew him to her was that laugh. That loud and open sound when she was well and truly tickled by something or the more quiet sound that he got right now when she was emotional.

“That’s true, come on, I’m thirsty all the sudden and want to get a drink before I have to go in for my first session.” She stretched getting off of the concrete and offered her best friend a hand up off the ground before she stepped onto her board.

“Arizona sweet tea?” He offered her that option and she nodded her head with a small smile on her face. She had fallen in love with her best friend’s sweet tea that he had gotten her addicted to after they got introduced to each other.

“What are you going to do while I’m doing my session?” Miya gestured to his backpack where he was hiding his switch that he brought with him today. He knew that he’d want to spend the afternoon waiting for his best friend to finish her session.

“I’ve got my games in here don’t worry about me. I want to spend the afternoon with you. You’re my best friend and I want to support you in any way that I can.” He encouraged her as they pulled into the connivence store so that they could get their tea and some snacks while they waited. This was a huge deal for her and he wanted her to know how much he supported her.

“You’re going to be amazing Sakura. I know that you will be because you constantly give everything that you can into your interests.” Miya knew that she could do anything that she put her mind to because if his best friend was anything it was bound and determined to do her best at every little thing that she tried. Even if she found that she wasn’t as interested in the idea of playing her favorite instrument as she made it sound both in her head and in the music she listened to, she wouldn’t back down without a fight. That stubborn nature combined with her kind heart had him being pulled even deeper into her orbit.

“I sure hope that your right cat-boy because I am so nervous right now. As was prevalent by my earlier word vomit.” He just smiled softly at her doing his best that he could to be her support system as much as he knew that she was nervous.

“Sometimes your nerves stop you from doing things that you’re really good at though. They stopped you from making genuine friends before now didn’t they? Being nervous about something is considered totally normal. But you can’t let those nerves run your life Sakura. Otherwise you’ll never get anywhere. If you let nerves stop you then there’s so much you can’t really achieve.” He knew the amount of almost crippling anxiety that she struggled with. He had only ever wanted to support her and push her further. As they stopped in front of the music studio and she took a deep breath opening the front door and hearing the sound of somebody in one of the rooms practicing.

“Hello! Are you here for a lesson or just here to see what kinds of facilities we offer here?” Sakura lightly yanked on her ponytail just to try and ground herself.

“My mom scheduled my appointment, it’s Sakura Nanjo. I want to learn how to play the bass guitar.” She told the clerk and Miya just squeezed her hand sympathetically. Talking to people that she didn’t know was never a skill that Sakura had excelled at. Haru was always the people person not really her.

“Oh that’s right!! Your mother did call in to our shop so we’re excited to begin to teach you. We’ll have your teacher be with you in just a moment. You’re welcome to look around. He mentioned that you’d bring your own instrument?” She nodded her head holding up her guitar sleeved she had walked her with her.

“He bought it for me a few days ago and came home with it the day before yesterday!” Sakura showed her the guitar that her mom had bought for her that matched her personality.

“That is really pretty!! It does seem to match your bright and bubbly personality. Are you here for lessons too or just moral support?” Miya put his arm around his best friend’s shoulders supportively with a small smile on his face.

“I’m just here for the moral support factor. She struggles with nerves and anxiety and I thought that it would be easier for her if she had me here to support her.” He reasoned and she smiled gratefully at her best friend. Despite only being friends for a few months she knew that there was something unique about the video game obsessed boy next to her. Something that was life altering and that she wouldn’t ever want to change.

“That’s really sweet of you!! I’ll go and tell your teacher that your ready to learn.” The worker went off in search of the bass guitar teacher and Sakura’s ear twitched lightly.

“Are you hearing La Villa Strangiato?” Her ear was always in tune to when a Rush song was being played around her. Miya couldn’t help but laugh lightly at her as he had been hearing it since they had come into the studio. She must have been way too nervous to notice that somebody had been playing a song by her favorite band.

“They’ve been playing it since we walked in. Want to go and see who it is?” She followed the sound of the guitar as it led her to a spare room where a girl with dark hair and baby blue highlights was playing a guitar. She was wearing a different school uniform than the one that they were wearing. It had a music note on the band around the arm. Maybe she went to a music school of some kind? Whomever she was, she was clearly absorbed in the music that she was playing. And what’s more than that, she was a good. Good from years of clear practice at her craft and good from knowing exactly what she was doing. Miya accidentally leaned into Sakura’s side a bit too far trying to get a better look at the girl and knocked her over. The girl that as playing the instrument suddenly stoped and looked over at Sakura who was on the ground.

“Sorry Saki!” He frantically apologized offering her a hand and helped her to dust off the back of her skirt.

“Are you guys new? I thought that I closed that door!! Sorry if I was playing too loud, my dad runs the studio here I don’t take lessons.” The girl apologized very clearly worried that she had distracted them from something.

“Sakura is here to get lessons but she’s a huge rush fan and knew exactly what you were playing. She wanted to see the person that was playing La Villa Strangiato.” Miya explained to the girl lightly put off by the fact that the girl instantly took Sakura’s hands in her own.

“A fellow Rush fan?! At long last!! I’m Kayla Sunohara!! Super awesome to meet you Sakura.” She introduced herself excitedly and Miya just possessively gripped her hand.

“I’m Sakura Nanjo, this is my best friend Miya Chinen. How long have you been studying Alex Lifeson?” Miya buried his face into Sakura’s shoulder, trying on a whim to keep the possessive nature that he was feeling come up his spine. She’s allowed to have other friends and not just me. She should have a female friend who likes the same style of music as she does. It was only a matter of time before Sakura made another friend that wasn’t just me. She’s too nice for me to keep all to myself like that.

“Oh I’ve been studying his work since I first started playing when I was seven!! What about you? You interested in studying Geddy Lee?” Sakura gripped her bass guitar a little bit firmer in her hands nodding her head.

“That’s so cool…” She gushed and Kayla just laughed a bit waving her hand up and down in a dismissive manner.

“It’s not really anything that fantastic, I’m nowhere near his level and I probably never will be. But his guitar is what inspired me to pick up my own. What about you? Why did you want to learn bass?” Miya couldn’t help the halfhearted glare that he was sending to the other guitarist. He didn’t know why, maybe it was because he hadn’t had friends in so long but he wanted all of Sakura’s attention on him.

“Sakura?” The lady in the front of the studio called her name and she instantly lightly hugged her best friend noticing the slight stiffness in his appearance.

“Miya, I have to go. Is there something wrong?” He shook his head at her putting on the fakest smile that he could muster at the moment.

“I’ll be alright, I’ve got my games and I’m going to play these games with Sunohara.” He lightly told her and she just sighed a little bit.

“Look we’ll talk later cat boy alright? Don’t do anything stupid like start a fight or whatever.” She lightly told him with a small smirk on her face going out of the room and carrying everything over to the room.

“Miss Nanjo? I’m Shizuko, I’m going to be your teacher.” She took a deep breath just trying to do the final calming of her nerves. “I’m Sakura, it’s nice to meet you.” She bowed before her teacher with a small smile on her face carrying the guitar.

“It’s nice to meet you as well. Why don’t you come with me and we can figure out what you want to do and why?” As her teacher led the way she couldn’t help but look at everything with this sheer ease of wonder and light.

“So, why do you want to learn how to play bass guitar?” She sat down in the chair in front of her putting the guitar on her lap lightly.

“I want to play guitar because I was deeply inspired by Geddy Lee. My dad he raised me on Rush because that was what he loved back in high school.” Her teacher listened to her speak passionately about her love of the music that had inspired her to get through the day.

“My little sister has been studying the art of Alec Lifeson for a majority of her life. So I totally get that you can be inspired by the lead singer. He’s a big inspiration for everyone that ever felt like they didn’t fit in. She’s going to probably take over this studio one of these days.” Shizuko bragged about her younger sister that was now bonding with Miya over a shared love of video games in the spare room.

“I met your sister! She was playing La Villa Strangiato in another room. I thought that she was really amazing at it too. She’s really talented.” Sakura exclaimed her praises towards the other main guitarist. Her teacher just laughed a little bit already foreseeing a future friendship between her newest student and her younger sibling.

“You really know your stuff if you knew the exact song that she was playing. Music has always been something that brought us closer together as a family. Performing has been something that was passed down through the lines. Our dad taught us when we were just little kids so it’s always been a big part of our lives tighter. So what do your parents do?” She put her guitar on the floor knowing that this would just be an initial interview to see what she wanted to do and why.

“My dad he runs an Italian restaurant, Sia La Luce by the marina that’s what I’m going to do when I get older too. That’s what I was doing until both of my parents decided that I should be allowed to be a teenager for a little while. I’ve wanted to play bass guitar ever since I first started to deep dive and I really learned what music was and what instruments did what. It wasn’t just Geddy Lee. I’ve been inspired by countless other artists as well.” She reasoned and the teacher just smiled to herself. She had a feeling that this student would excel really far at the guitar. She also thought that her sister might finally make a really good friend.

“Do you do well in school? Do you have any other interests?” She nodded her head with a small smile on her face thinking about her lessons in skateboarding.

“I’m currently learning how to skateboard finally. My parents both do it and compete in their own ways. My brother picked it up like a fish to water. I’ve only recently started to learn how because a friend wanted to teach me. He’s the first friend that I’ve ever made. I was relatively well liked by my classmates but we weren’t ever really friends. I do pretty good in school depending on the subject. I’m mostly good at math and English but struggle with science. That’s my brother’s area of expertise.” Sakura talked about the little things in school that she enjoyed doing.

“Science isn’t for everyone and it’s not your fault that you aren’t very good at that class. I’m sure that yo excel in other areas. Who are some of your other heroes in music that aren’t behind Rush?” As important as having one hero was, Shizuko knew that she wouldn’t get very far if that was the only genre of music that she wanted to play.

“The one that my mom got me hooked on from a young age was Queen so I’ve always admired John Deacon. He was the quiet one so not a lot of people really think about how important he was. He was both an incredible bass player but he wrote some of Queen’s most iconic songs. Also, Paul McCartney has always been one of my favorite musicians for The Beatles and for Wings. Really I found a lot of different musician heroes that I could aspire to one day learn more about. I have a recent diagnosis of aspergers that caused me to rethink a lot of what interested me.” Sakura was still just ever so slightly self conscious about what had interested her. She’d had so many people judge her that weren’t Miya it felt like. Shizuko couldn’t hep but smile softly as this young tween in front of her reminded her so much of her when she was younger. From the admiration that she had of all these different styles of bass guitarists to her naturally shy disposition.

“There’s a lot of really beautiful Beatles songs, do you have a favorite one?” She nodded her head with a small smile on her face.

“My favorite is The Long And Winding Road. Many times I’ve been alone and many times I’ve cried anyway you’ll never know the many ways I’ve tried. It reminds me of my relationship with my brother. We get into a lot of really heated arguments but at the end of the day he’s my twin brother and I love him.” The entirety of Let It Be was her favorite non-Rush album of all time and it was one that she listened to consistently when she was alone in her bedroom. Her parents got her a record player when she was eight because that was the item she most desperately wanted. Ever since then she’d been collecting records and she shared it with Haru.

“You sing really, really well for somebody your age. That takes a lot of talent, have you ever done it professionally?” Do my friends in Italy count? We’re kind of a band I guess and I always love singing with them. While Sakura had friends before Miya, they didn’t live in this country. Rather they all lived in Italy. They were the only large group of people that had welcomed her into their group.

“I have a couple of friends in Italy where my dad did his studying for his restaurant. We go back every summer just about and my friends and I we sing. I’ve always appreciated singing because it was something that I could control. It could be loud or quiet. I could train it to sing in different styles.” She explained her dynamic with her small group of female friends that welcomed her with open arms years ago. Found family movie nights on Friday’s were something that she always looked forward to even if it was earlier in the afternoon for her then it was for them.

“I don’t know very many young girls that are that into singing. They do it for fun a lot of them but none of them that do it for fun are very good. Not unless they put in the effort. Talent takes effort. You have to put in the work and make the commitment in order for talent to come from that. Taking on an instrument is a pretty big commitment especially with the guitar. Sometimes you just want to throw the thing against the wall and call it a day. But then you get back to it and you’re suddenly able to do it and you feel this sense of self worth and accomplishment.” Shizuko tried to make her young pupil see things from her perspective. She had lost a lot of younger students because they weren’t serious about the instrument. Once they saw the first sign of struggle they threw in the towel and gave everything up.

“I’m willing to put in the work. I just need a teacher to show me how things work.” Sakura never did anything halfway. She was either all in or had absolutely zero interest in the task at hand. She had grown up around the sound of a bass guitar coming from every room in the house in some capacity.

“I can tell that you’re one of the serious ones about this otherwise you wouldn’t have stayed after that talk. Most of the students leave because I’m “too harsh”. I just want people to try their best and to succeed in the areas where they should.” The teacher ranted and Sakura couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. That threat hadn’t even begun to diminish her joy at the idea of simply being here.

“My mom is a lot more scary than that so I’m used to the idea of being threatened. Music has always been a part of my life and now I want to learn how to play it.” She said confidently and by the look on her face Shizuko knew that she had found a gem in the rocks.

“That was why I wanted to learn how to play bass too. I grew up hearing it with my dad because he loves all different kinds of music really but it was a whole lot of Beatles, Rush, Queen, Heart, and a lot of other artists that just seemed to flow out of the windows. I’m glad that you came in today Sakura. I can’t wait to start teaching you. We’re just going to gloss over the essentials today.” Sakura looked at her teacher one question burning in the back of her brain. “What is your favorite Beatles song?” Shizuko blinked a little bit in confusion before a small smirk appeared on her face.

“My favorite Beatles song is Let It Be. Has been since I was a little kid, Mary was my mother’s name. She died last year so it’s been kind of a rough point in my life. But that song has always gotten me through bad times. And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow let it be.” As Shizuko told her new student about her song obsession Sakura’s heart warmed. It was such a beautiful story that she couldn’t help but love it.

“I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. That really must have hurt something awful. Is it just you, your dad, and your sister now?” Sakura pulled her hair back a little bit further with a small smile on her face playing with the ends of her ponytail.

“Thank you so much sweetheart that makes a lot to me. My dad has a girlfriend, they were divorced for a while since Kayla was younger. It was a bit of an experience for me to deal with but we’re still a family anyways.” Shizuko reasoned and her student just smiled sympathetically at her. She had no idea what it would be like if there was a fight that just pushed things over that sometimes tightrope edge that her parents walked on. When she was younger she feared that one day one of them would fall off the tightrope and it would end their relationship. That it would go out in a burning inferno and that one fatal argument would end their bickering relationship. It wasn’t until she got a bit older and wiser when she learned that their love language was bickering.

“I’m glad that you were still able to have that family. My family can be a bit loud and chaotic personally. It’s a lot of bickering and a lot of arguing sometimes about the simplest of things. But I love my parents even if half the time it’s like I’m the parent and they are the children under my care. My twin brother isn’t really that much better.” Shizuko laughed openly at the idea of this family as she could completely visualize it. From what she had gathered when she had spoken with Kaoru Sakurayashiki the man seemed like a complete overprotective but at the same time loving mom figure.

“So you have two dad’s right?” She nodded her head getting out her phone and showing her a picture of them all skating together.

“I have two dad’s. My brother and I were surrogate children because they wanted kids with their own DNA. To keep things less complicated when we were kids me and Haru decided okay your mom and you’re dad. It’s been that way ever since. Our family dynamic is a bit unique because of it but I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if they weren’t my parents. They bicker like people that have known each other their entire lives because that’s what they do.” She settled against the back of the chair that she was currently in.

“Do you and your brother bicker a lot because of the fact that your parents do?” Sakura sighed heavily playing with her index fingers. She hated the fact that she had instantly been called out like that.

“Well… yeah we kind of do. Both of us are naturally stubborn types of people and sometimes it gets to be rather explosive. If it’s a day that we don’t get into at least a little spat well then that’s a miracle I feel like. We’ve really put our parents through hell these last several years especially.” She picked at the hem on her skirt just wishing that she could finally get along with her brother. It was so hard for them to see eye to eye though. Half of the time she had no idea what he was thinking and why he was doing the things that he was doing. She just wanted to help and every time that she tried he exploded on her.

“Sometimes siblings just don’t get along. You’re one of the lucky pairs if you don’t fight every time that your put in the same room together as children. My sister and I still fight a lot because we’re just different kinds of people. I’m sure that it’s the same way with your brother and you.” The older of the two of them felt the pain that the younger one went through like it was her own. There was a time a few years ago where a positive relationship between her and Kayla seemed like a wish on a dying star. It was just plain not going to happen.

“I want to be a better sister to him. I know that I do. I also just really want something to bond with him over. He wants to learn to play the drums.” Her teacher smiled at her instantly feeling that sense of love that Sakura had for her brother.

“Now that we’ve gotten all of that personality stuff squared away I know how to properly teach you. We’ll put primary focus on songs from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s rock n’roll because that seems to be the genre that you enjoy the most. I appreciate the taste it’s a welcomed change of pace. I get so many people that tell me their favorite artist is somebody more modern.” She got her own red guitar that looked familiar enough to the young tween in front of her.

“That a version of Brain May’s red special isn’t it? For the bass guitar?” Shizuko grinned openly at the girl in front of her for recognizing the iconic guitar.

“My dad also happens to make guitars here so I asked for this one to be custom made once I started teaching. It’s always been my favorite guitar that’s an icon so I asked if he could take that concept and make it into a bass guitar for me. I used to do band when I was in school and now I’m going to college for music theory.” That guitar had gotten the teacher through a lot when she was younger. Everyone has their little things that they’re obsessed with and for Shizuko that would definitely be her guitar. She couldn’t live without it.

“That sounds like me with my cookbook. I can’t go anywhere without it. My mom calls it my grounding object because it helps me to stay calm and it helps me to remember my goals and ambitions. I want to one day make food that will make people happy just like my dad. If that means that I have to do the same training that he did in Italy for four years then so be it. Whatever it takes to make people smile when they eat my food.” Whatever it takes to make Miya happy when he eats my food. I want to keep making meals for him that he’ll love. I want to get him on a healthier diet. She shook the thought right out of her head, now was not the time to start thinking about Miya. It was the time to start learning the basics of the instrument that had always inspired her.

“Your mom mentioned that you have a recent diagnosis of aspergers?” She nodded her head unzipping her own guitar and showing it to her teacher.

“I got it a few weeks ago when it was still summer break. We went to Hokkaido to get it in a beach town since my family and found family wanted to go on a small vacation.” The shiny guitar that was in her hands made Shizuko smile softly. It was obvious that everyone in the familial unit that made her heart happy.

“Does that boy that was with you, is he in your found family?” She blushed a bright pink and her teacher couldn’t keep back the cackle of laughter from leaving her.

“Miya is my best friend, I’ve only known him for a few months but he’s… well he’s everything to me. I never had a friend before him really. I was popular enough with my classmates but was never asked to hang out when I wasn’t in class. That was fine with me but I never really thought about how deep down lonely I really was. Loneliness started to get to me and I was depressed every time I would go to school.” As Sakura talked about what she went through during these last few months the sadness in her voice was evident. She had spent the last couple of months just half alive until she met Miya who had brought life and color back into her eyes.

“I’m sorry that happened to you sweetheart, I know that you’ve struggled a lot during the course of your life. Sometimes we just need to wait until the right person comes into your life. I didn’t meet my best friend until I was eighteen and she’s been there for me every step of the way. I only had rent-a-friends during my entire childhood.” Shizuko reasoned and she played with the ends of curly hair with a small laugh.

“He’s easily the best thing that has ever happened to me. We do everything together now and he’s been teaching me skateboarding.” She lifted the guitar that was in her hands and put it over her lap. Shizuko demonstrated the first cord that she would be teaching her and Sakura easily copied the same note. She was instantly feeling the energy that she was actually really good at this job.

“Skateboarding can be very difficult but I know that you must feel very passionately about the art from. It can be a lot of fun actually. My friend’s and I used to do it all the time when we were back in high school. I still skate because it’s rather simple to get from place to place that way.” Shizuko reasoned with the young girl as she showed her the chord again and Sakura hit it with ease. The teacher was surprised at the amount of talent that the girl clearly had for somebody that had never touched a guitar before. It was something that she was just clearly passionate about.

“I was never really able to do it until a friend of mine was able to make me a custom board. I had to have little divots for my feet to go so that I could maintain my balance. I have really bad balance normally so trying to do that on a skateboard was just a plain old recipe for disaster.” Sakura laughed a little bit at the pain of the moment as the timer on Shizuko’s phone buzzed.

“We spent most of the session today learning about each other so that we can better work together through this experience. I know that you’re going to be one of the best students that I’ve ever taken on. I’ll see you again next week?” Sakura nodded her head zipping up her guitar before her teacher stopped her.

“For right now, I think that I should keep the guitar here. It’s probably difficult skating with it right? I can have my sister drop off a rental at your house since she’ll probably be one of your closest friends.” Her teacher reasoned and she handed the sparkly guitar to her teacher.

“Thank you, I’m looking forward to you teaching me as well!” She looked down at her shoes with a small smile on her face. Sakura bowed right before she left the room easily picking up her backpack with a small smile on her face as she heard Miya’s familiar laugh.

“Hey! I finished my session. What did you two get up to?” Sakura flopped onto the ground next to her best friend and he instantly put his arm comfortably around her shoulders. He had missed her despite her only being gone for a small amount of time.

“We were just playing some Crash Bandicoot!! Your friend is really good at video games. How did your first session with my sister go? Was she too hard on you? She can be a lot during first sessions. I try to be a lot more open minded and friendly with my students.” Kayla mentioned off handedly as the pinkette just shook her head.

“No she was actually really, really cool. I liked my studies quite a bit and I’m excited to come back next week. I’m hungry for dinner though, you coming cat-boy?” She lightly ruffled his dark hair as he nodded his head against her shoulder. As much as he knew that she had to make new friends and that it wouldn’t be just the two of them forever and ever he would always be protective over her. She might be her friend but I’ll always be her best friend. Nothing in the world can change that.

#sk8tember21 #writing #ocs #music