#i already see things that bother me a lot but that just means ill be better next time!

[f4irys4n]

this isn't us pt1

park jisung x afab!reader

tags gender neutral terms. cliche best friends to lovers trope. reader and jisung are both at uni. jisung is an art student. jisung pining over another person. jealous reader. jisung being a bit of a dick. arguments upon arguments. a lot of angst. mark looking out for you. jealous jisung. lots of swearing. jisung being very indenial. mutual stuborness. slight mentions of blood. violence and fights. kissing. a lot of crying. there will be a pt2 with smut.

wc 3k

one month.

one whole fucking month since you last spoke to jisung.

you were as stubborn as each other, everyone around you both knew that, and everyone around you knew that no matter how much they pushed you to speak to one another; it wasn't happening. the stubbornness, however, was only making things worse. the longer you went without speaking, the more resentment built up.

it all started over one particular topic. well, person.. jung jieun.

it was her second year at our univeristy, and your friendship group; jisung and you included; had all gotten much closer ever since her first few weeks.

ever since jieun was thrown into the picture, it allowed jisung to worm his way in. and what came with this was jisung slowly drawing away from you, and being attached to jieun's hip.

maybe you were jealous, you didn't deny that, but it just hurt that your best friend of 3 years started leaving you on read for days at a time and was willing to drop you any time of the day just to meet her as if all the time you'd spent together didn't matter to him anymore.

you're not usually one for confrontation, you avoid arguments and any sort of tension like the plague, but the way he was acting caused something to boil inside you and it caused you to snap.

you and jisung had plans to go to the cafe right next to campus after your final lessons of the day, and that caused excitement to bubble in your stomach. that was until he cancelled, babbling on about how he was ill and couldn't muster the effort to even get out of bed but denied all your offers to come over and look after him; like you've always done these past few years; only then to see him not long after this conversation walking to this said cafe with nobody but jieun herself.

now that hurt. that hurt a lot.

it's not like you could even be mad at jieun. she was your friend, possibly even one of your closest, and had absolutely zero interest in jisung. promising you it was solely platonic after overhearing you talking to your best friend, lola, about how you might have a 'small' crush on jisung.

but jisung, on the other hand, you were beyond mad at.

it started off with you ignoring his already very few messages, not even bothering to open them days after they were sent, despite him so obviously seeing you on your phone in lessons and around the halls of uni. and after a week or so you, you just started avoiding him completely, too scared you'd end up saying something you didn't mean out of angry if you spoke to him.

that was until he cornered you one day whilst you were in your dorm. so apparently annoyed at how you were ghosting him for so long, completely oblivious to how they were a result of his own actions.

"what have i done?" jisung asks bluntly, standing in your doorway so it was difficult for you to budge past him to avoid having this conversation.

"you'll have to be more specific," you countered, trying to shut down any sort of argument as fast as possible.

"you're obviously ignoring me and i just want to know what i've done wrong."

you scoff slightly, unable to hold it in. this made jisung cock up his eyebrow in confusion, curious as to what that was for.

"as if you don't know... everyone else has noticed it, why haven't you?" you sigh, trying your best to move past his taller build and get inside your room.

"clearly not. or i wouldn't be asking," he snaps sarcastically, his jaw tensing a little.

"maybe that's the problem."

you shove past him, attempting to slam the door behind you but he was too quick, squeezing himself through the door before it could close fully.

"look.. i don't know what i've done but-" "you've been fucking ignoring me for weeks!" you yell, taking jisung by surprise, his eyes wide in shock. he can't recall you ever yelling, not once in the 3 years you'd been friends.

"plans upon plans cancelled, rescheduled and cancelled again," you continue, venom dripping from your tongue. "we're supposed to be best friends, best fucking friends, and it takes you 5 days to reply to a message from me yet you can spend every waking minute with jieun."

"so this is what it's about?" jisung snapped back, pocking his tongue against the inside of his cheek. "fucking jieun?" "well.. i apologise for wanting to hang with a friend that isn't you for once."

"jisung! you're not getting it!" you yell, slamming your books down onto your desk in frustration.

"what am i not getting, y/n?" jisung yells back, hands balled up in anger. "that jieun's more fun that you? that she's easier to hang out with than you? that she's not as annoying as you? that she's basically better than you in general? because no! i get that, y/n! i completely get that." it left you speechless, hands shaking subtly as you try and hold in the sob you so desperately wanted to let out. you daren't even look at him.

jisung didn't even bother to look back at you before he stormed out, muttering something under his breath as he slammed the door behind him.

once you were certain he was gone, a loud sob left your mouth, tears immediately running down your face. your closest friend had just walked out on you, and you were more than certain that he wasn't even planning on coming back.

and that's what brings us to the present day.

one month without speaking to jisung.

you pretend to like it doesn't hurt, that it doesn't bother you, but it really does. seeing him walk away whenever you go to speak to mark or lola, not even wanting to breathe the same air as you anymore.

you were sitting in your room with lola, she was telling you about how she overheard mark and jisung having an argument, and she believed it could have been about you.

"mark said something about jisung being selfish," lola said, scrolling through her phone as she spoke. "he said that jisung was hurting someone, that someone being you, and that it was unfair he treated them that way. jisung obviously didn't like it, saying that there was a reason he was ignoring you."

"sounds about right, but what does he expect?" you ask lola "he can't just drop me for someone else all the time and expect me to still be all over him."

"don't you worry.. i'll ask mark all about it when i go to his dorm later," she grins.

"god.. your relationship makes me feel morbidly single."

you both continued to chat for around 10 minutes before you heard a knock at the door. lola jumps up to answer, a frown appearing on her face as the door opens.

"who is it?" you ask, before turning your head to glance at the doorway.

jisung.

"i'll... uh, leave you two alone," lola mumbles, quickly grabbing her things and hurrying out the door.

it was silent for a moment. it was suffocating. like a grip on your neck so tight it felt like you were gasping for air. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him, not wanting to see the barren look on his face.

he cleared his throat as if he was about to speak, but nothing came out, the silence lingering on for much longer.

"if you have something to say, just say it," you mumble, flicking through the pages of your homework, still not being able to build u the courage to look at him.

"i just- i just wanted to say-" he paused for a moment "-could you please look at me?" he asks.

your head raised slowly, eyes looking straight into his for the first time in what felt like years. his were red and puffy, they almost looked sore to touch; like he'd been crying nonstop for this entire month of no contact. gazing at him for the first time in a month felt terrifying, and it honestly brought butterflies to your stomach.

you almost felt joyful that he was here, but then his cruel words came flooding back in. 'that enid's more fun than you? she's easier to hang out with than you? she's not as annoying as you? that she's basically better than you in general?' and it made your heart tighten, and your stomach feel the same sickness it experienced that day.

"may i?" he asks gently, pointing towards the empty space on your bed, and you nod, mind feeling too fuzzy to even speak.

he once again stumbles on his words, unable to get anything out that was understandable or could even pass as an actual sentence. he takes a deep breath, inching closer to you until your noses were almost touching.

"i'm sorry.." he mumbles, and you could truly tell he was, but after what he said; that wasn't enough. sorry wasn't ever going to be enough. before you even had time to think, his lips were pressed against yours and you couldn't help but melt at the feeling.

despite this being all you've ever wanted, it still felt wrong, it felt forced. so you pulled away, to jisung's surprise of course. "w-what.." he stuttered, looking at you with a saddened expression on his face.

"y-you- you can't just-" you stumble on your words, not being able to think of what to say, your mind so clouded by the feeling of jisung's lips on yours.

jisung stood up, looking worried, questioning whether he had made a mistake and whether he should have even turned up in the first place.

"you can't just kiss me like that!" you scolded, tears welling in your eyes as you stared at him, what seemed like hatred feeling your eyes. "you can't kiss me and expect everything to be okay, not after everything you've said! you don't get to say sorry and kiss me, things don't work that way jisung," you continued, feeling even more hurt than before.

"but i thought you- i thought you liked me.."

"whether i do or not, you can't just come here and kiss me like that after what you said to me. you can say you're sorry all you want but you don't accidentally say those things, you only say stuff like that if you truly believe it," you spoke, voice shaky whilst sticking up for yourself.

"i see.. yeah.. i get it" jisung chuckles sadly "dont worry, y/n," he says in an almost bitter tone. storming out just like he did a month prior.

in that moment, you pulled out your phone and messaged chenle.

'hey.. can we talk :)'

mark: 'of course! right now? i'm free!'

'please.. it's about jisung.. meet in the courtyard in 10, it's late so barely anyone will be there'

mark: 'sounds great! see you soon!'

jisung storms back to his dorm, slamming his door behind him due to the anger built up inside him.

so much rage and aggression was trying to claw his way out, that he let out a straight yell, knocking over one of his art desk.

after breathing for a moment, he picked up the canvas, noticing it was ripped down the middle. it was a painting of you; he hadn't been able to get you out of his thoughts, his mind racing back and forth, burdened by the image of you all day long. and whenever he feels, he paints. that's why almost all of his entire workload recently was infested with images of you, some small sketches, others big canvas pieces fit for a gallery.

"what am i gonna do?" he mumbles to himself, chucking himself down onto his bed and running his hand through his hair in defeat.

honestly, he was so confused and didn't even know how he was feeling anymore. for a while, he was convinced he liked jieun, seeing her every day caused a spark inside him to light up and he chose to chase it. but then there's you, he'd never noticed it until after the argument, but being away from you, not speaking to you or even being able to indulge in your presence was physically painful.

seeing you every day but feeling too ashamed to speak to you felt like something worse than torture, it became too much that he was convinced he'd rather die than be away from your bright light. after feeling such loss, despite still seeing you around, made him realise he didn't like jieun half as much as he thought.

the constant longing he felt for you, the need to be around you and see you, to touch and hear you was all too much for jisung.

he started to realise that he liked you. he.. he loved you.

and suddenly those 3 years of friendship didn't feel so platonic at all. it felt like every second you knew each other, you were in love.

i mean who platonically spoons their friends until they fall asleep, who platonically gives their friends forehead kisses, who platonically would do anything and everything for their friend just because they had asked you too.

"but now she hates me.." jisung whispers, eyes welling up in shame.

you stepped towards the bench you spotted mark sitting at.

barely anyone else was around at this time, besides two girls you recognised from one of your classes sitting towards the main doors gossiping about some random boy you'd never heard of.

"hey," mark hummed, giving you a comforting smile. "lola told me jisung came to see you earlier..."

"he kissed me," you blurt out. "w-what?" mark choked, extremely shocked by jisung's sudden and bold move.

"he kissed me," you repeated "he didn't even say anything, he didn't explain himself or anything of the sort. he just said two fucking words; i'm sorry; and then kissed me, and thought everything would be okay. i said he can't say or do what he did and expect a kiss to make everything better, and then he stormed off once again."

"i told him to talk to you... just not like that," mark sighed at the younger boy's actions. sure, chenle wanted you both to get along again; you were two of his best friends and seeing you not involved anymore was heartbreaking for him and the rest of the group, but he didn't think jisung would be so tone-deaf to the situation.

you and mark talked for a good hour, originally about jisung but then you delved into other topics as he saw talking about the boy was really starting to get you down, surely some other conversation would take your mind off things.

and suddenly, there he was again; jisung slumped through the doors that lead to the doors, instantly making eye contact with you and mark giggling at whatever you two were talking about at the time, and he saw red. he knew full well that mark was with lola, he knew you saw mark as an older brother but that didn't stop his mind from wandering and creating impossible scenarios as to why you were both out here so late. alone. together.

"what the fuck?" jisung yelled, thankfully, anyone else that was sitting outside was long gone. he approached you and mark, jaw clenched just like his fists. "what the fuck is this?"

"what is what?" mark asks in confusion at the boy's sudden surge of aggression.

"this!" jisung yells, pointing at the two of you. "whatever this is!"

"it's a couple of friends... talking," you reply dryly.

"talking about what? huh?"

"you.." mark chuckled "and how much of a dick you're being. playing with people's emotions isn't cool, man. kissing them? what were you thinking? did you really think kissing them would fix everything? don't be so delusional. do you even like them?"

"yes! of course i fucking do!" jisung replies. you could see the anger in jisung's face rising, not pleased by mark's constant digs. "and then i come out here to you and them giggling and being too friendly," he spits.

"at least i'm being nice, jisung. treating them how they're supposed to be treated," mark growls back, becoming progressively annoyed with how one of his best friends was acting towards you and the situation. "someone has to fucking do it," he finishes, rolling his eyes.

"don't you think- i've always fucking tried... you will never-" and suddenly, jisung's fist came in contact with mark's face, not even finishing his own sentence due to how much rage he was being to see.

"jisung! what the hell!" you yell, holding mark whose nose was now dripping crimson red. "what the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

"i.. i.. don't know," jisung stutters, not being able to process what just happened. "mark.. i'm sorry- i really didn't mean to. i just- i couldn't stop myself!"

"jisung just leave," you mutter, trying to clean u what blood you can with the sleeve of your shirt. but he just stood there, watching you, unable to speak or do anything at all. "i said leave!" you yelled again, tears in your eyes as he began to walk away.

it'd been a few days since anyone had heard or seen anything from jisung. but at this point, not many of you really wanted to see jisung in the first place, not after everything he's done. he was constantly in his room, locked up, painting pieces for days on end.

no sleeping, no eating, no nothing.

for once, he was truly alone, and he didn't like it at all.

in the few days of isolation, he managed to complete the biggest painting he'd ever done. it was an abstract piece, a result of him just throwing random paints at the canvas in anger to see how it'd turn out, and to his surprise, after some touching up, the image started to look just like you.

he smiled at the painting, remembering how beautiful you were at all points of the day. you were the most stunning person he'd ever laid eyes upon, no wonder you made such a perfect piece of art.

in that moment, his eyes started to tear up. he was worried, fear coursing through his veins with every beat of his heart.

he was honestly terrified; terrified of losing you.

and he feared that he already had.

#park jisung #nct dream #nct #jisung #park jisung angst #nct dream angst #nct angst #jisung angst #park jisung smut #nct dream smut #nct smut #jisung smut #park jisung fluff #nct dream fluff #nct fluff #jisung fluff #park jisung imagine #nct dream imagine #nct imagine #jisung imagine #park jisung scenario #nct dream scenario #nct scenario #jisung scenario #kpop #kpop imagine #smut #fluff #angst

[drchucktingle]

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #2

hello buckaroos welcome back to deconstructing damascus where i will be talkin on THEMES and hidden secrets in my dang horror novel CAMP DAMASCUS. as with previous post, this talk will have HUGE SPOILERS so i recommend not reading until you have had a chance to read camp damascus. if you are curious about this way and are thinkin 'oh ill just take a buckaroo peek' then i will say again DO NOT. trust me bud, camp damascus has a lot of mystery to unfold and it is best to go in without knowing anything

THAT being said if you have already read the book and want to dive in then here we go. i will post previous edition of DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS below so you can catch up if you have not read the first post yet

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #1

(EDIT: PART 3 IS HERE)

(EDIT: PART 4 IS HERE)

okay now that is out of the way LETS TROT. big warning there are HUGE SPOILERS BELOW this line you have been warned buckaroo

DECONSTRUCTING DAMASCUS #2: CASTING SHADOWS

previously we talked about way peter pan folklore is sometimes used as allegory running through this story, and before we move on i would like to discuss ONE PARTICULAR aspect of this allegory. last time i gave many examples, but i left a big one off because it is SO IMPORTANT and i wanted to talk about it as its own separate post

in story of peter pan there is classic scene of peter wrestling his shadow. the shadow is both separate entity and the same person, and eventually peter reattaches the shadow to his feet and regains control

in CAMP DAMASCUS shadows are used throughout the whole book, but the metaphor is basically the same: control. more specifically, the trot of shadows is a representation of AGENCY

when we first see PACHID she has all of the control. she is standing in the living room BATHED IN SHADOW. this position of power is where she emerges from

halfway through camp damascus, when roses HEROIC TURN happens and she starts fighting back, there is a scene where SHE TOO wrestles with her own shadow and reattaches it to herself. this is point in the story where rose is reclaiming her agency

but honestly most important thing you need to know about shadows involves OTHER question about camp damascus. question i KNEW WOUlD BE COMING but decided to chart my own path for the sake of art.

when writing book, chuck knew that ending would seem abrupt to some and that it might bother some buckaroos, but artistically speaking this story HAS TO END WHERE IT DOES. because this is not just a story about rose so much as it is a story about ROSES AGENCY. THAT IS THE JOURNEY.

to unlock the secret of WHY camp damascus ends exactly where it does and WHAT it means, all you have to do is ONE SIMPLE TRICK. get up and trot over to get your copy of camp damascus, we can do this together. NO JOKE BUCKAROO go get your dang book.

got it? good job bud. here we go

read the last sentence of the book

now immediately go back and read the first sentence

#deconstructing damascus #spoilers

[the-fo0l]

DBD Pyramid head x reader

Notes: this is the first fic I've ever published so hope it's okay??????? otherwise i might cry

Warnings: none, just ph being ph

Once you catch the executioner's attention it's pretty much impossible to get rid of

He never really thought much of the survivors, he didn't think much of anyone really. Just because the entity made him be there doesn't mean he'll care

Yet something about you, the newest survivor, caught his eye

He couldn't see you as sinful or worthy of punishment no matter how hard he looked

He wanted to get closer but the barrier around the survivor camp wouldn't let him through, even though for once he didn't have ill intentions

Luckily for him, one of your first trials happened to be with him

You managed to get the hang of the game pretty quickly. You'd heard a lot about the executioner, that he was a merciless killing machine, just about the last killer you'd want to cross.

Naturally hearing these rumors gave you even more pre-trial anxiety than usual.

Thus you decided to keep a low profile for this one. The whole trial you never got close enough to properly see him, you just tried to get the generators working as fast and safe as possible

He didn't seem to be bothering you though, instead, while you were doing gens by yourself, he was picking of your teammates one by one

You only had a couple gens left to go after you finished this one, only when the loud sounds of the engine stopped did you notice how eerily silent it had become

No footsteps, no screams, not even the sound of a large sword dragging across pavement

Where is everyone, they can't all be dead already can they? You become more anxious by the second as the silence somehow gets louder

You're still new to this whole thing, is this normal? No it can't be

With no better idea coming to mind you decide your best option is to hide for a bit

You begin to quietly sneak toward a building in hopes that you'll find a closet to hide in, maybe you'll find one of your teammates, you can only hope

Once in the building you find a couple of closets, as you're about to open the closet door you hear an oh so familiar sound behind you, metal dragging across the floor accompanied by heavy breathing

You freeze in place as you realize he somehow managed to sneak right behind you

As you start to make your move to run he grabs you by the waist and effortlessly hurls you over his shoulder

You try to struggle as hard as you can but it's futile against pyramid's solid grip

For pyramid head this may as well be the best day of his long and wretched life. The first time he gets to be this close to you, holding you feels better than he thought it would. He could get used to this

Your struggles pick up again when you notice you're approaching the hooks but cease when he walks straight past them

'Okay ??????' you think

"Let go asshole! Wh-where are you taking me?" you ask, as if pyramid head could answer

He simply continues to walk and eventually sets you down on the ground, being uncharacteristically gentle

You look up at him, not understanding how you're still alive, you take a look around and see that he's dropped you off right next to the hatch

Pyramid looks down at the cute confused expression on your face and feels an array of emotions he's never known before. He doesn't want to let you go, but doesn't want the entity to get you either so he chose to let you go

From here on out every trial with him is like this and every time your trust for him becomes stronger

Unfortunately, every trial can't be this easy, so 90% of the time the killer hunting you wants nothing more than to flay you alive

And poor pyramid head can't bear to hear you cry the way you do after particularly hard trials so it's time to use a bit of intimidation

Without meeding to speak he gets the point across to the other killers to not mess with you. Pyramid is by far the most feared in the realm. Obviously killers like Michael and Huntress are hard to scare so PH resorts to comforting you instead of seeking revenge

Your fellow survivors are totally jealous of these privileges

Thanks to the kindness he shows you during trials you don't feel the need to be afraid of him when he's watching you from behind the barrier around the survivor camp

He was watching you again. And much to the protest of your friends you felt daring enough to approach

The whole time you were walking closer to him you could feel him looking at you, what you didn't notice was his breathing quickening in anticipation

Maybe this time he could finally touch you?

You stand face to face(?) with him, even though you have to look up at his hulking figure

You hesitantly stick your fingers out beyond the barrier and are pulled into this chest before you even know it

For a moment he simply hugs you while you and your friends are shocked silent

But soon enough he pick you up off the grown and starts carrying you away in his tight hold

"Where are we going?" even though you hadn't expected this you weren't afraid, why would he hurt you now when he's had plenty of chances?

Once he feels far enough away from prying eyes he sets you down and sits beside you, pulling you into his lap where he'll keep you for as long as possible

It's weird, but it's also comforting

Leaning into his warm chest, having his strong arms around you, listening to his steady breathing- it's the most comfortable you've felt since arriving in this hellscape

And hey, his heartbeat is awfully fast huh?

Only for you though, dear reader, only for you

#pyramid head x reader #pyramid head x you #dbd pyramid head #yandere pyramid head x reader #fluff #pyramid head fluff #gn reader #gender neutral reader #yandere dbd x reader

[sirfrogsworth]

Wishlist Haul

All I asked for were pants, and those are coming Saturday. But you all came through in a big way with my wishlist and helped me solve some problems that have really been bugging me lately.

One of my biggest current issues is my decision to use my M1 MacBook Air as my main computer until I can move my PC upstairs at some distant time in the future. Which means I need to ask a lot more of it. And it is capable, as these Apple Silicon devices are amazing and very zippy, but I only got 256 GB of storage because I thought this would just be a secondary computer while I was taking care of my dad.

So I need storage. And if you do photography and use Lightroom, you know you need *fast* storage. In the days of spinny disc drives, going back and forth between images was maddeningly slow. I already hate the process of culling photos and picking the best ones. And sometimes you'd need to find 5 winners out of a few hundred. And when it took 3 seconds to switch between every photo, I wanted to die. And honestly, it could still be better.

But one of the best solutions is a super fast SSD. Which I had. I bought it right before my parents got especially ill and was planning to install it in my PC. But my priorities changed and I just never found the energy.

The problem is that was an internal NVME SSD. I needed it to be external.

Which is where this little thingie comes in.

This is an NVME enclosure, and if you are looking for cheap, fast external storage, this is so much better than those external SSDs they overcharge for. For $200 they give you a 2TB drive that can read about 2000 MB per second. Or you can get a 2TB NVME and this enclosure for the same price and get 3000 MB per second. Not only that, but it is upgradeable. In a year when 4TB is $100, you can plop that in. And the Mac's Thunderbolt 4 has a max speed of around 5000 MB/s, so there is room to improve there as well. Though sometimes advertised speeds are not reality speeds.

The only thing you need to be aware of is these drives run hot. You're going to think there is something wrong with them. Like, they top out at 90C. Which is nearly 200 degrees in freedom units.

I wanted a convenient way to mount my drive, but I didn't want 200 degrees on the back of my screen, so... MAGNETS!

And I can stack a few more if that section starts feeling too hot.

So, I have that problem solved. I can now use this as my main computer and work on my photography.

Next up... fashion!

I'm going out more and I want to look a little more presentable. I thought these two tone shirts looked a little more fashionable. And they are very comfortable too. I have a red one that I think I'm going to wear on my trip. I know you can't see the two tone well in the picture, so here is the product photo of the red one.

Next problem?

Well, it's maybe not a problem so much as something cool I wanted. A black light!

My mom had all of this uranium glass and I had no idea my salt shaker was marginally radioactive all these years. I really wanted to take a proper photo of some of the glass before it all gets sold at auction. So this should be a fun experiment.

I will say, if you don't have uranium glass, don't get a black light. You will want to burn your house down. It does not matter how clean you think you got something... you didn't clean it enough. And I have all of this dry flaky skin on my feet. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't bother me. You can't even really see it unless you look really close. But when I shined the light on my feet they looked like they had some undocumented disease. I will not be sharing a photo of that.

But the depression glass, that's super neat.

Some proper photos coming soon I hope. Maybe after my trip.

Next problem!

My key fob. This thing is a piece of shit.

Even if it looks cool under a black light, it is THE WORST.

It's cheap plastic, it takes a stupid watch battery, the symbols on the buttons all wore off. And all of that I could handle, but for some reason this fob has an effective range of about 2 feet. I literally have to be standing next to the door before it will work.

I had a black fob that worked much better, only the plastic casing was falling apart. But I taped it up as best I could and hoped it would not fall apart. Then I went to get my tires changed and they needed the fob to do some special reset of the pressure sensors and the battery died before they could. I went home to try and change the battery, and the entire thing basically disintegrated on me.

The inside looks like this.

The battery retention contact is held on by a tiny dab of solder. And if you pull the battery up even a little, it snaps off. And that's what happened. And to make matters worse, the rubber buttons were falling apart and the unlock button just... fell off.

So I was either stuck with the 2 foot range green one or I needed a new fob. Thankfully, they are only 20 bucks for 2 on Amazon. Unfortunately you need a dealer or an auto locksmith to program them. The lowest quote was $100 for about 5 minutes of work. The dealer actually wanted to sell me the fob as well, which they quoted as $150 for ONE. Same cheap plastic piece of shit and everything.

So, I got all of the parts from the broken fob and I hot glued that battery contact back into place and I transplanted that into a shiny new casing.

Works just like new. The buttons feel much better, I can actually see the symbols, and it has a range of at least 100 feet. And that hot glue isn't going anywhere. Changing the battery might be an issue, but these lasted several years.

Next problem!

An intervalometer is a fancy shutter button for a camera that allows very long exposures. It is detached from the camera so you don't shake anything and it needs a backlit screen because if you are using it, you are most likely in the dark.

My intervalometer is about 12 years old and uses another dreaded watch battery. And the backlight on the screen seems to be dead. So it is pretty much useless.

But look at this!

The light even works in the... well, light! And it takes normal batteries. Seriously, watch batteries need to stay in watches.

I don't know if I will get to take a long exposure in Florida, but I want to have this with me in case I do.

Next problem!

This one I actually solved on my own. But I found these stainless iron (yes, iron!) shims and I covered them with black tape and now all of my most used kitchen items never take up counter space.

Yes, I use magnets and hot glue to solve most of my problems.

Next problem!

My garage door is not very smart. And the remote control for it is huge and does not fit in my man purse.

So I downsized the remote.

But I wanted to fix the non-smart thing as well. A while back my brother got into my garage without me knowing. He must have taken a remote of his own. And I really don't feel like figuring out how to change the frequency, so I now have a sensor that lets me know when the door is open with a phone notification. Beyond that, I can open or close the door from my smartphone from anywhere. And I can give access to anyone with a smartphone in case of an emergency.

I will say, this company is really paranoid about people being crushed by garage doors. The instructions tell you to put up this sign in your garage...

And if you use the app to close the door, you get a light show with annoying beeping...

And I know that these accidents happen in real life. But whenever I think about how that could actually happen, all I can imagine is that scene in Austin Powers...

In any case, I am really glad I have this now. And I also like that if I forget to close the garage door, I can check the app and not have to get up to do it.

OH! I almost forgot. If I want, I can have Amazon place packages inside my garage.

Next problem!

What in the heck do I need galvanized steel plates for?

In product photography you need a diffusion panel called a scrim. If you try to buy one of these already made, they are hundreds of dollars. They are mostly made for movie productions, and those items always have inflated costs.

So most product photographers make their own out of tracing paper or a special plastic called Translum. It's $80 per roll, but lasts forever. I used to hang my scrims from the ceiling. But you can't really angle or move them, so you have to move the object you are photographing instead. Which is just a backwards way to work. So I invented my own scrims with two strips of very thin wood, metal chip clips, these little plastic feet that held up plexiglass barriers during COVID. And to weigh everything down... steel plates.

This is version 1.0 where I glued the plastic rather than affixing it with the chip clips.

The clips work much better and allow me to put different weights of plastic on, or even double plastic, for more or less diffusion. And I ended up not needing that board at the bottom which allows me to curve it as well.

And these scrims let me take this photo...

It's called graduated lighting and it makes things look neat.

I also got a backpack for my trip and shorts, but I am going to forego an explanation of those.

To all that helped, thank you so much. I hope you can see I am putting everything to good use.

[comicaurora]

If you've finished The Dragon Prince, S5, what's your opinion? Personally I'm still processing everything and there were a few things I was kind of "ehhhhh" about, but those were just one-off moments and overall I'm satisfied, even though it ended up playing out very differently from how I was expecting (for one, I was certain Aaravos would be getting out by the end of the season).

I liked it a lot!

SPOILERS AND STUFF:

Because I liked it a lot, most of my more specific thoughts are about the few things that sort of jarred me a little bit and felt a little rough or strange. But before I get to that I wanna list some of the stuff I loved:

Soren! My sweet boi has finally gotten the acknowledgement the previous seasons denied him. Soren locking eyes with Deadwood and going "yo same issues" was incredible, and after the last season treated his abduction by and confrontation with his abusive father as 90% comedy funtime hijinks in a nightgown, it was really refreshing to see him get a chance to actually shine in a serious, heartwarming context and be narratively rewarded for it.

In fact, that whole sequence with the pirates was incredible. I knew there was no way they were gonna cleanly outrun the bad guys, but I was not expecting how exactly they would catch up.

They did a lot of elegant work this season setting up Claudia as going from being family-motivated to being anger-motivated, and I like that, because at the rate things are going she's gonna run out of family to be motivated by in T-minus one episode, and if she's going to continue being the main boots-on-the-ground antagonist she's going to need some new motivation to swap out for her dad. Showing her actively reveling in having power over creatures that used to frighten her is a clever way to ease into that.

Viren's arc this season of being forced to confront his own coping mechanism, "I had no choice", was damn elegant. He had to realize he did have a choice the whole time, even if it was a choice between two bad options - he took every step along the path of his own free will, and he can choose to stop walking at any time. I'm not anticipating a redemption arc - my guess is Aaravos is going to let him die and just keep his soul imprisoned with him, "your soul is my treasure" and all that - but it was a very cool way to confront the audience and Viren with his humanity, which is easy to lose sight of when he spends all his time being a horrible dick.

The stuff with the Nova Blade screams "sneaky poetic double meaning" and there's absolutely no way it can actually kill Aaravos. The fact that the novablade and the three quasar diamonds they need to let Ruunan out of his coin after four goddamn seasons are all in the same place called the Starscraper that is so most definitely a boss arena makes me absolutely certain that they won't get there until some sort of final battle or immediately-pre-final-battle confrontation, but it's also almost guaranteed that the novablade is not going to cleanly resolve everything because the characters were realistically sus about that poem but quickly dismissed their entirely reasonable concerns. My guess is the novablade has already stabbed Aaravos once and he's the dude from the poem who was somehow both immortal and "no more," which feeds into the other thing they're 100% setting up, which is that Callum is one thousand percent going to be the one who lets him out in an ill-fated attempt to save his loved ones, which would cleanly make Callum three for three. Which segues into my "things that bothered me a little bit" zone-

Every time there's a story where the heroes are like "we're going to make our way through the incredibly circuitous and hard-to-navigate traps and secrets to finally find our way to the closely-guarded and ludicrously dangerous macguffin so we can take it with us and put it somewhere much less guarded" I feel my investment slip just a little, because how can anybody be surprised when the bad guys then get ahold of it with a tenth of the effort it would've taken them to get through the circuitous treasure hunt themselves? Claudia was not on track to figuring out the secret in time, and Aaravos didn't seem to have a way to tell her directly, and once the deadline ran out she'd have almost no reason to want to release Aaravos anymore. I worry this plotline could've solved itself if the heroes hadn't inexplicably concluded that they could guard a magical prison better than a centuries-deep conspiracy of archmages and archdragons.

The Dragon Prince character writing is usually rock-solid and very good at showing slow growth and development, while occasionally being vulnerable to characters seemingly losing their braincells to facilitate plot points that they would reasonably be too smart to let happen. That happened a few times this season, most notably with Zubeia getting very clearly bit by a shadowbeast - something we know everyone riding on her back saw, because Corvus intervened to get it off her and nearly died in the process, and we later see Soren talking to her about it - which means Amaya at minimum, and probably Callum and Rayla as well, should reasonably be expected to have both the information "a wound from a shadowbeast magically festers and turns the infected victim into a shadowbeast" and "zubeia was injured by a shadowbeast." So it's a bit weird that this doesn't come up and they just leave her alone about it, and only Soren - who doesn't know about shadowbeast stuff - even asks her about it.

I have this theory that there was a draft of the season's plot where the main characters had access to a different space of information - for instance, knowing about Zubeia's wound and its implications instead of her inexplicably brushing it off, hiding its true severity and then nearly dying. The most notable instance of this feeling struck me in the same episode, when right after Amaya's incredibly dramatic "go!" moment and the gang are about to fly away, Callum pointedly looks down one last time, then sees her shove Corvus and herself into the book drop, and he says "they made it into the book drop! they'll be totally fine!" and then they fly away. It feels a little jarring because it seemed like the natural flow of the episode would've been to let Amaya and Corvus's sacrifice play out as expected, with Chekov's Book Drop at their backs to save them as soon as the heroes were out of sight. Then Amaya and Corvus could show back up later in a big heroic moment, possibly even keeping the camera off them until Amaya rides to Janai's rescue a few episodes later - a classic "aragorn goes over the cliff jk he's fine" style reveal.

The reason they didn't do this, I think, is because it would've been hard for the kid heroes to be quippy-fun-time jokey-joking mere hours after losing their last living relative to presumed horrible zombie death. And I get that! But I think that was a notable factor in the way some of the episodes were structured around making sure that the heroes mostly got to spend their time being light-hearted and funny, which meant troubling information was artificially kept from them and encouraging information was shoehorned into their eyeline in slightly contrived ways so they could stay safely partitioned away from the actually heavy emotional implications of their situation. That's why I think the pirate episodes hit the audience as hard as they did, because suddenly the story dipped really seriously into the extremely painful and scary side of this otherwise fun and exciting fantasy adventure, and the characters shone in the unusually serious environment.

I kinda feel the same about Viren, but in the opposite direction. He spent the entire season comatose and safely partitioned away from the other characters, and while his highly symbolic coma dreams were extremely cool and revelatory to see, it feels like a squandering of his character potential to keep him from interacting with anyone but Aaravos - which is why I think they're gonna keep his ghost around at minimum. Hell, maybe Claudia will take a page out of his book and store him in a coin for safekeeping. Either way, they've had no problems sticking Viren on the proverbial shelf for seasons at a time and it seems like it's just too convenient for them to stop now. Viren's inner life is very cool, but I want to see him actually interact with the real world, because he's so bad at it.

I don't really know why the sunfire civil war thing is still happening, and my only theory is that Aaravos is still influencing the bald elf guy he possessed to kill the Queen back in season 3, meaning that these guys will be bolstering the ranks of General Problems in season 6 onward. I don't mind that concept, but I kind of feel like the problem they're running into is they killed their actually interesting Dickhead Royal back in season 3, and without Prince Kasef they have to make do with We Have Kasef At Home, aka Karim, who's not good enough at machiavellian scheming to be interesting and not enough of a dickhead to be fun to watch. They didn't even let Amaya take one of his eyes and make him look cooler, so I can only assume he'll be usurped as the primary threat next season and replaced with someone actually threatening, aka Aaravos. It seems plausible that Aaravos is going to sell both the poison and the cure, promising a way to fix Lux Aurea's corruption, but it's just a weirdly disconnected plot thread at present.

The thing with the ocean archmage felt like a very transparent Yoda homage, which started out cute and then went on about three times longer than I wanted it to, and it kind of highlighted the running theme of how every new character in this story is introduced saying "I absolutely cannot let you do this thing you need to do to progress the plot, no way no how." and then after some arguing and quips and ten minutes of wasted time and optional sidequests they're like "you may now proceed with the story." The ocean archdragon had the exact same gimmick in the opening scene, even the pirates were introduced that way. I think part of the reason the pirate episode felt so different and cool is that it broke the episodic formula in almost every way and highlighted some character tropes that the lighthearted tone doesn't normally allow for, which is why people keep describing it as "like a fanfic, but in a good way!" It took the characters we were at this point very familiar with and put them in a Situation, and fans love it when characters get put in Situations.

Kinda feels like the show only remembers Ezran has geopolitical kingly responsibilities when it's most inconvenient for the gang, and while I find his presence in this season refreshing, it is a little weird that he can just run around adventuring and getting kidnapped by pirates without anyone bringing up how the throne and the crown are burdens like they've been banging on about for the previous four seasons. I assume that'll come back into focus later, but it ties into the same thing I've observed where it feels like the characters are very carefully contextualized to only have to consider serious responsibility things in very specific contexts, usually when it will facilitate actively frustrating character arcs and decisions, so they can just loosely quip and react to things the rest of the time.

Anyway I had a dang good time, excited for more! Harrow is one thousand percent in that bird.

#asks #not aurora #media recs

[makur0]

ON MY KNEES for sfw third year eichi content. Literally anything. Maybe with a second year reader, but that’s up to you <3 I love your writing sm and pls take your time :)

Student Council Headcanons

summary — being the council's advisor, you have a lot on your plate. but they don't ever hesitate to help you with anything [student council! x gn! reader]

content warnings — sfw, crackfic(?), maybe some angst, takes place during anime plot [SPOILERS OF THE WAR], inaccurate(?) religion practices (buddhism im sorry)

author's note — i loveee writing for the graduate's third years, LOVE IT. i just had to include all the council cause... why not?

word count — 1727

BEING YUMENOSAKI'S COUNCIL ADVISOR WAS ROUGH.

And although the President's and Vice President's role was much more important, you felt like your role carried the most work. Planning out the DreFes', scheduling tours, making sure parties, dinners, and the overall festivities were under control... it was quite a lot for even a workaholic like you.

Not only that, but you were probably the favorite Council member. Students went to you for tips, advice, and general therapy. Yes, you were the unofficial therapist for all these idols. Soon enough you might need a therapist yourself.

But no matter how much sleep you get a night, or your workload being so much you were forced to skip classes, the other Council members would pick you up every single time. Even if it conflicted with their schedules, they made sure that their friend and crush was healthy and proper.

Eichi Tenshouin

We already know he's out for half of the school year due to his illness, but when he's in he makes sure that his advisor is in peak condition.

One of the first people he visits once he comes back (Wataru pretty much the first I mean come on-)

You weren't anticipating his arrival so soon so you didn't bother to clean up your desk, but it's the least of his worries when he realizes that it's become your new sleeping spot

Walks over to you, yanks the papers away from you with a careful smile, and lectures you. Although he's being extremely hypocritical he can't stand to see those eyebags become permanent on your beautiful face

Doesn't give you any time to complain because somehow he now has you sitting in the Garden Terrace with some hot tea to drown out your worries. Makes you sit with him well over two hours or so, always inserting random topics into the conversation to keep your mind off of your work.

Once he makes you promise him that you'll get a good night's rest, he'll be going to Keito and discuss the workload share.

Besides the point- generally Eichi has an extremely soft spot for you. Because not only you stayed with him during his reign as Emperor, pushing everybody away, but you made sure that he wouldn't lose himself to the guilt caused by those past months.

So he's simply stating that it's payback. You helped him, now he is going to help you.

It's quite hard for him to make you take him seriously because like...

What is he gonna do to you with that frail body of his? Come on-

No, don't doubt the man. He will not hesitate to throw your work right out the window right in front of you with that shit-eating smile of his

Sorry folks in the courtyard-

AND DO NOT TELL ME YALL DON'T BICKER LIKE AN OLD COUPLE- I swear you're gonna be yelling at him so much and he'll nod with that lovestruck expression and wait until you're tired out

Then he'll sweep you away from your desk and other people and have a lil tea party

It's his favorite thing shut up

Also you better not have him catch you talking with Sakuma, he'll get so sad seeing you talk with his enemy :( won't cheer up until you give him a lil kiss on the forehead and cuddle with him instead of doing your work

You sometimes practice with fine, and everybody has a fun time! Because Eichi really really likes you Tori makes sure to become super duper best friends with you in order to impress him, so he won't be bratty at all! Wataru will love witnessing the love quarrels between the two of you, and Yuzuru will be contemplating his life choices

Overall? 7/10 (bit low cause im pretty mid for eichi)

Keito Hasumi

He’s never in the right position to tell you to take a break because... like he’s a workaholic too come on. So instead he’ll offer his help with his work or simply spend time with you so that you don’t feel so alone in the Council office filling out all that paperwork

Keito is at your command during these times too. You need some coffee? He’ll bring an entire pot with you and several creamers to fit your taste! Need a certain book from the library? In and out in no time, even finding the right page for you!

Simp

Ok, moving on

But even he will stop you if it gets too much, to the point where you’re missing frees and lunch for work. He is VERY adamant on trying not to look hypocritical so he’ll simply send Souma to retrieve you if you’re even five minutes late for lunch. 

“Why are you here?”

“Has- er, I have decided to sit with you at lunch, so I have come to retrieve you!”

Never works lmao. At least, not believing poor Souma. Kuro is much more lax with it but Keito isn’t 100% sure that the man won’t be flirting with you so he’s off limits

Only him >:(

Only until you start downright refusing Souma he decides to take action himself. So, throwing away his pride and self-importance, he comes up to your desk and slams his hands on the surface, demanding to go out with him.

You stop, stare at him, and gape.

Did he actually?

YES.

GO OUT WITH HIM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG HE’S BEEN WAITING JESUS CHRIST BUDDHA ALMIGHTY-

It’s definitely awkward the first time, but you are really really glad he pulled you away from that desk or you would’ve had another uncomfortable desk nap.

Because this was last minute Keito is a thoughtless mess and has nowhere else to take you so subconsciously he takes you to his favorite Buddhist shrine-

Once he realizes it he apologizes immediately and requests that he takes you to the nearest cafe, but...

Taking your shoes off and walking on the platform, you kneel and start praying(?)

He’s never seen a more beautiful scene in his life

You look so serene, so calm meditating in front of him that he wishes to see more of you like this.

Joins you and you two stay like that for a good hour or so. When you’re done you stand up and looked relieved

“Thanks, Keito. I really needed that.”

Ok, Keito. Write this down. Meditation dates are a must.

Mao Isara

You friendzoned him. I will say that.

He was busy with his work, you were busy with yours. Nothing more than a work relationship, no?

Poor guy, you don’t know that he’s trying so hard to get close to you.

He was a bit reluctant at first b/c of how close you were with Eichi and Keito... ykyk the revolution thing and all that

But as he observed you more he realized you were a pretty cool person. 

A pretty cool person that he would increasingly gain feelings for

Would try his hardest to ‘accidentally’ come across you in the hallways, classes, even projects and work. He wants to learn more about you, ok?

His efforts were unfortunately futile for the first few months, but did he stop at that? Nope.

I feel like Mao is a very obsessive person but is able to keep it healthy and under control

But that won’t stop him to learn your schedule and meet you during your little breaks, pestering you to see if you need anything for him to do.

Slowly but surely he would happily notice that you would rely on him more often, to the point that you would invite him over to your house to help with work! Man is jumping in joy fr

Solely because of how on top of you he was you’re able to have a healthy sleep schedule now and balance your work smoothly along with school and idolwork. Thanks Mao!

Soon enough you guys go on little friendly dates to rip you away from all that council work. But they become so frequent to the fact Eichi sees you sneaking out of school with Mao almost every afternoon now.

Does he stop you?

No.

Ah~ young love...

Because of this you would even in fact start lacking in your workload, but Mao is always there to help you no matter how big it is. Between the two of you, you could get an entire DreFes set up within five hours. 

20/10. Why? Because im biased over Mao.

Tori Himemiya (Yuzuru Fushimi)

He’s a whole another thing you have to take care of on top of your work.

This boy is so dependent on you that Eichi sometimes has to move you out of the office so that you can finish your work in peace without Tori jumping on you every minute or so.

But the only reason’s he’s been getting away with it is because... well... you absolutely adore him

Whenever you’re off of work you’re hanging out with him and Yuzuru or your sleeping. Yes, there’s no way Tori’s letting you forget about your meetups.

And although Yuzuru does enjoy your company very much, he won’t hesitate to try and cancel the meeting if he sees that you are not doing so well.

One time you had gotten bedridden from the lack of sleep, and Tori and Yuzuru were the first to visit you. They stayed at your house for hours on end, making sure that you are getting rest and are comfortable. Of course Tori would have to refrain himself from throwing himself on you; he opts to tell stories about him and Yuzuru

Whom the latter is rarely present, he doesn’t want to get embarrased.

Tori can’t stand being without you for even so a day, he’ll get ballistic. He is so attached to you that he would sometimes choose you over Eichi, which is very surprising but nonetheless wholeheartedly accepted. 

Rarely does Yuzuru have alone time with you, but when those rare times roll around he won’t let it go to waste. Even if it’s just him accompanying you with work, he’ll cherish these little moments with you. A plus if you talk to him about topics completely disregarding the paperwork.

Short, but will do. Generally a 8.5/10 cause im normal about the both of them fr fr 

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars fluff #enstars fluff #student council #eichi tenshouin x reader #eichi tenshouin #keito hasumi #keito hasumi x reader #tori himemiya #tori himemiya x reader #yuzuru fushimi #yuzuru fushimi x reader #mao isara #mao isara x reader

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

it’s midnight and i just. i have this stuck in my head.

steve who’s used to every little disagreement turning into a big fight so he snaps/yells at reader and when they don’t return that fight and just kind of shutdown steve panics and feels so so guilty

my love you hit me in the soft spot. i cry so hard whenever anyone even slightly yells at me.

tw: not a lot but i thought id put one to make sure everyones safe <3: bit of a disagreement, reader with vague past relationship trauma if you squint, sensitive reader, anxious reader, oblivious steve, in love steve, steve in general. if anything from above is something you cant handle right now thats perfectly okay and ill see you next time!

steve is very very very gentle. hes calm and collected and mostly rational. so arguments are extremely rare.

but today steve was tired. oh so tired. and he missed you. so much. so when you were being almost silent on the car ride home from the bi-weekly dinner with the kids, robin and eds, he was freaking out.

the waitress was very subtly flirting with him. in a way where only the girls at the table knew what was going on.

of course steve had no interest in her, for gods sake. he didnt even look at her for more than two seconds.

you werent mad at him. no, he handled it very well. he passed all the tests. you were just sad. comparing yourself to the blonde waitress. thinking about how many people want him that you dont even know about. the little voice in your head saying “why does he want you?” and looking for signs of infidelity, coming back emptyhanded as always, shamefully reminding you that hes not your past relationships.

so no you werent mad at him. you were mad at you.

but we all know hes a little bit… slow sometimes. so that doesnt even occur to him.

what if you lost interest in him? what if you think hes annoying? why are you mad at him?

his fears only heightening when you give him a small smile when he opens the front door for you, instantly heading to the kitchen to get some water, hoping itll make you feel better.

“whats your problem tonight?”

oh.

“…what?” and you stare directly down at the countertop because you can already feel yourself tearing up at his tone.

“what do you mean ‘what?’. youve been acting weird since we left.”

he really doesnt mean for it to sound so angry, if you listened a little closer you might be able to hear the desperation in his voice.

“…the waitress”

“what?”

“she was flirting with you.

“what?”

he throws his head back and puts his hands to his face in exasperation. before realizing that youre a little too quiet… and shaking?

his tone brought back memories and fear. fear that he would just find someone else since you were bothering him. and youd be left alone again, but only this time unable to pick up the pieces.

and now hes horrified because he didnt mean to sound angry, he was just frustrated and didnt even think about how sensitive his girl was to things like that.

but you were too far gone now. your ears ringing and your breath escaping you. fighting back tears with every bone in your body, and losing said fight.

and so you turned around to look at him. and your eyes betray you once more. instantly filling with tears that make steves face drop and heart fall.

“m’sorry steve” but your voice falters and breaks before the first sob racks through your body, walking as quickly as you can to his bedroom to clean yourself up.

HES FREAKING OUT SO BAD

he feels absolutely awful. poor man starts crying too, but makes himself stop for his apology, not wanting to scare you further.

following behind you and knocking on his own door.

“babydoll, can i come in?”

youre standing in front of his mirror. eyes puffy and red and shaking. you knew steve wouldnt leave. you knew he wasnt like that. but you were crying anyways, which only made you cry more out of embarrassment.

“…yeah” you call weakly, still not looking up as he opens the door.

his arms are around you instantaneously

“‘m so sorry baby i didnt mean to sound angry, i wasnt thinking. im sorry.”

“its okay, im sorry i-”

“no, you have nothing to be sorry for. you’re allowed to get sad. theres nothing wrong with it, id never judge you for that. i was just being… stupid cause i didnt get it y’know? i mean i literally am horrifyingly in love with you. im like obsessed with you… not in a weird way…. anyways! and i get jealous all the time. like everyday, even over small things. that barista the other day? coulda killed that guy. y’had me studying how to make lattes babe.”

and of course youre giggling. his polo shirt saturated with tears and pure joy.

“i love you so much.”

“i love you most. i know you dont really think id look at anyone but you, right? but if you need confirmation i will go and take back the tip we gave that lady.”

more giggles.

and that was the difference. steve embraced your sensitivity. he loved it actually. loved the way you care about things. love the way you pick up on energies before anyone else. loves everything about you. including some of the not so pretty things.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #stranger things #steve x reader #steve x you #steve harrington fluff #steve h #dove and steve

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Gravity Falls Thoughts: Ford and Trauma™ (Part 01; because I know I'm turning this into a multi-part series)

So...when you start to think about it, Ford has been through a lot. Because of Gravity Falls' nature as a 2-season Disney cartoon, I feel that we've only scratched the surface of all the crap this man went through.

And thanks to the fandom...good Lord in Heaven, all the flippin' Trauma!!! Sweet Moses...

I mean, other than Bill Cipher and Weirdmageddon, Ford has a level of trauma that not a lot of people have.

Of course, Ford isn't the only one with Trauma™. Really, all four of the Pines are traumatized in some way. I mostly want to focus on Ford for now.

Now, most of the trauma Ford is given is fan speculation/interpretation. The thing is though, is that these traumas would make sense if Gravity Falls was given a more serious direction. (sort of like Steven Universe, a show that is more emotionally driven)

Okay...first things first, nutrition.

In a previous post I've made (I think it was about the Feral Ford headcanon; which I may or may not go into further detail in this series), I said something along the lines of how Ford wouldn't be all that bothered by weird looking food or could even stomach strange food combinations.

While a part of me still thinks this, another one thinks of something else thanks to reading a lot of fanfics of his essentially living off of nutrient pills.

This is from Ford having to be constantly on the move to avoid Bill's reach during his travels. I'd imagine it's a rare occurrence for him to be able to sit down and have a decent meal, either at an establishment or even hunting for food. Not only that, but you have to remember that a lot of the places he went to probably don't have food suitable for humans.

So, Ford has probably taken to nutrient pills so that way he's always on the go, among other foods he's able to preserve and carry.

The thing is, living on mostly nutrient pills could only take you so far before it could be more of a bad boon. Nutrient pills wouldn't exactly give you the appropriate amount of calories a human adult male needs. Especially if they are constantly in danger.

This can lead to some malnutrition.

Yes. I took time to research this so we can properly make Ford's life more like hell.

Signs/Symptoms of Malnutrition (according to NHS)

(Other than the main concern of weight loss and BMI being low)

reduced appetite

lack of interest in food and drink

feeling tired all the time

feeling weaker

getting ill often and taking a long time to recover

wounds taking a long time to heal

poor concentration

feeling cold most of the time

...feeling cold most of the time...

"feeling cold most of the time"

...And who wears a turtleneck sweater/trench coat combo during the summer?

And, lastly, Low mood, sadness and depression.

Furthermore, it would seem that Ford would have developed a low tolerance to actual food (other than bland, mushy stuff) and is probably incapable of eating a whole meal without throwing up.

It's a struggle to be sure, especially if Ford already has a history to forget meals, even as a child (may or may not be projecting here as someone who forgets to eat)...not to mention the months of paranoia due to Bill prior to being sucked into the Portal.

I'm honestly imagining a scene in which Abuelita (bless her soul) tries to feed Ford when she sees how skinny he is...or at least what she perceives as skinny. And no one (no one) can say no to Abuelita Ramirez. And it's Mexican food. There is absolutely nothing bland about it. And Ford does his best to eat it...only to scurry into the bathroom after three bites. He didn't mean to be rude. It was honestly very delicious. Ford's body just couldn't handle it at the moment.

At least Abuelita is understanding of the situation and becomes Stan's right hand woman on his quest to help Ford with his eating habits.

...Great, another idea for an upcoming fic...I had a title in mind but I feel like I should call it *Trauma* Ford Edition.

#gravity falls #stanford pines #grunkle ford #ford pines #gravity falls thoughts #trauma

[dykefaggotry]

the thing abt HRT and gender affirming surgery is that like... yes many providers do provide incorrect/insufficient information. a lot of providers DO downplay the risks or don't mention all of them. ignoring this reality and pretending that everyone who starts HRT/gets gender affirming surgery is completely 100% informed doesn't do anyone any good

however

this problem is FAR from exclusive to gender affirming medical care. it is a GENERAL problem in ALL aspects of medical care, especially in the USA (and I'm sure elsewhere but I can only speak on our healthcare system as I haven't lived anywhere else)

like here's a couple examples.

when I was 8 years old, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes by a nurse practitioner. she however prescribed me a type of insulin for type 2 diabetes and instructed me to take it once a day and only check my blood twice a day. this is completely incorrect, as type 1 diabetics need to take short acting insulin every time they eat and long acting insulin once or twice a day and check their blood sugars at MINIMUM 4 times a day. I almost died. I had to be hospitalized about a week later with insanely high blood sugars. this was grossly mishandled by that nurse practitioner who had no idea what she was doing & she could've killed a child. does that mean no one should have access to insulin? or that we should start scare mongering diabetics telling them their providers are trying to harm them?

another example! when I was 14, I was having an allergic reaction to a medication and had to go into the ER. they didn't read my chart to see that I had type 1 diabetes, did not check my blood glucose levels, and gave me a steroid shot. that shot spiked my blood sugar (which was already high) so high so fast that I passed out and nearly cracked my head on the floor. it turned what would've been a quick ER trip to an overnight fiasco. does that mean doctors should never ever give steroids as treatment for allergic reactions?

or far more general than me- how many times are people prescribed birth control without the side effects being fully described? how many people get gastric bypass surgery without fully understanding what they're doing to their bodies? how many people have debilitating chronic illnesses but have no clue how they're supposed to handle them bc no doctor ever bothered to educate them (as I see constantly with other diabetics)? how many people have 0 knowledge about their own reproductive systems or have their concerns about their reproductive systems completely ignored until it turns lethal?

the issue isn't gender affirming care. the issue is medical professionals who don't care enough about their patients to make sure they're fully informed and fully consenting, or even that they themselves know exactly what they're doing. it's overworked medical professionals who skip vital steps because they've been working 15 hours in a row. it's the disregard for the health of people assigned female at birth (& the disregard for the health of people assigned male at birth if they decide to pursue gender affirming care). it's the disregard for poor people, for people of color, for patients in general who tend to get viewed with disdain for not having medical degrees and asking questions

like yes it IS something we should be talking about. but focusing the conversation on "we have to ban gender affirming care!!!" instead of "the medical system needs to take better care of its patients" is just stupid

#long post #ughhh this argument just bothers me!

[osakamichi]

Murayama and Smoky Headcanons

This can be read as totally platonic or romantic!

Out of the two, Smoky is the older and more stubborn one

Murayama knows about his illness and can be slightly overprotective

He doesn't underestimate Smoky but would often fuss around about how he should be resting

Despite Smoky's constant retaliation, Murayama still tries to take care of him

Things like sending Smoky food from Murayama's favourite hotpot places or buying bandages and first aid equipment for whenever he stops by Nameless City

This is to care for any new wounds on Smoky (that he's tried to hide from the Rude Boys, but Murayama has a keen eye and a loud mouth so Smoky ends up sulking and letting Murayama treat his external wounds)

Murayama will usually visit Nameless City when he's on a stroll

He just decides to go there without purpose but to see his annoyingly stubborn fellow SWORD leader

Smoky tries to shoo him away since only those who want to live in Namless City are allowed in

But overtime, the more Murayama visited, Smoky just labeled him as an exception

He deep down actually enjoys the company

"Smoky chan"

At first, Smoky didn't like the added suffix and told off Murayama for using it

But Murayama constantly called him that and in the end, Smoky gave in and just couldn't be bothered to tell him not to

One time, Murayama came to Nameless City and saw Smoky leaning on the edge of one of the towers

Not thinking much, he called out to him "SMOKY CHAN!!!!"

And the residents of Nameless City heard him call their leader by a cute nickname

Smoky still holds that against Murayama whenever they argue

Bickering

The two often get into petty arguments that are mostly them just going off on each other about their terrible situations

"You don't even have a house!"/ "You're an adult! Go graduate already!"

These can last for a few hours until Smoky just walks away sighing in annoyance

Usually Murayama will just stand there arms crossed before he gives it a second thought and chases Smoky with an apology

"Smoky chan...I didn't mean all of that...you don't smell that bad..."

Smoky flips him off (he learned that from Murayama)

Though they argue with each other a lot, they're affectionate

Murayama is touch starved and Smoky doesn't mind being physical with people

Its how he shows his care for others

This includes Murayama

Whenever Murayama is feeling slightly down, he just falls into Smoky's warm arms

Smoky doesn't question it unless Murayama tells him why, so he just wraps his arms around Murayama until he's ready to talk

It doesn't even have to be when Murayama's upset, he'll just search for Smoky's embrace when he feels like it

Backhugging, leaning his head on Smoky's shoulder, sometimes holding hands

And Smoky reciprocates these gestures

Brushing his hand through Murayama's hair, holding his face in his palms to give him a pep talk, poking him to get his attention

The two can be very touchy with each other

Though Murayama makes lots of trips to Nameless City, Smoky doesn't really bother going to Oya High

Unless if he needs to talk to Murayama about something important or he's really worried

The few times Smoky had gone to Oya High to search for Murayama was when Murayama had stopped coming to Nameless City for longer than usual

"You haven't visited Nameless City in a while..."

Murayama would apologise to Smoky but he'd feel slightly prideful

"You missed me?" he'd say with a big grin on his face

Murayama would then get a quick jab to his rib

#high&low #high and low #murasmoky #murayama yoshiki #high and low smoky #high and low murayama #high&low headcanons #this was really fun to write!!! #here are my thoughts . vomits words

[xpoisoned-stardustx]

THE SHOWS ARE HOLDING BACK!!!

Tw: mentions of sewer-slide, mentions of mental illness, mentions of trauma (I’m just putting this here for cautions)

And by that I mean holding back on angst

I’m not just talking about TSAMS or TLAES, I’m talkin’ ALL SHOWS (granted, i haven’t watched all of the recent show things but I do know they haven’t been to angst)

Now, you might think, “oh stardust, but we’ve had lots of angst! I mean think of Cassie on TRWAGS-“

Yeah, Cassie, the only one who has recently had a lot of angst, and it was only really her being mad her phone wasn’t working and talking a bit about her dad (im not including The Musical btw). I also feel like we should’ve had a lot more Gregory angst after Rocky’s death. I mean Gregory blamed himself for that, it wouldn’t just go away. And Circus Baby should be had more angst after Gregory almost frickin died!!! The characters recover so quickly and just go back to their goofy normal lives. Obviously I won’t cover everything for these shows but some of my main thoughts.

“uh but what about Glamrock Chica on TFFAGCS?”

Not. Enough. Glamrock Chica was easily back to normal after blaming herself for their whole issue because of stuff out of her control, having an exstistential crisis after being kicked out of the PizzaPlex, getting a message from her parents she doesn’t remember and so on. Also if ANYONE is getting angst it should be Funtime Foxy and his brother. Funtime Foxy almost drowned when he was around 10, Fexy (the brother) tried to stab FT.Foxy while screaming “THIS IS MY BODY, I WANT IT BACK” because they were in the same body at some point, he and his brother burned their house down because when FT.Foxy was running away from his brother they knocked over candles, then his brother literally tried to commit s—-ide by not leaving the burning building and saying “if I can’t have this I’d rather die” so FT.Foxy had to drag him out the house, then Fexy got sent to a mental hospital/asylum/psych ward (idk which one exactly) and lots of other things. And we haven’t seen ANY Lolbit angst whatsoever. Don’t even get me started on Mangle or Ray. (You can just tell this is my favourite show, can’t you?)

“…uhhh TFAFFS??”

Tbh I don’t watch that one alot but FT.Freddy Deffinetly has abondonment issues, as far as I know we never find out where that came from, Shadow Freddy had a bit of angst, Freddy is doing loads of things that I’m not bothered to say and ‘The Evil Gang’ or whatever their name is are another case of ‘comic relief villains’ I think.

“TLAES or TSAMS?????”

I already posted about this by rebloggin soemthing but ‘Sun gets Therapy’ was so disappointing, Lunar acts like things are normal, I feel like Solar should be seeing things after killing his Moon because as the Old Moon said “when you kill someone, they’re not there, but you can see them” or something like that, Moon just screams and gets mad at people for angst and he did apologise to Monty and have that whole “I’m a loser blah blah blah” but that’s it, Sun is hiding ALOT and other things.

“but TMGAFS has alot of angst”

which is why it’s my second favourite show. I’m just sad Foxy said him and Monty are more acquaintances than friends :(… I respect that show. If anyone else wants to criticise the angst there, be my guest.

Anyways I’m just rambling here. I’m gonna go listen to the entire C.C.C.C. album again, toodles.

#tffagcs #tsams #tfaffs #trwags #tcahs #tlaes #tcbagfs #tmgafs #ffagcs #sams #faffs #RWAGS #cahs #laes #cbagfs #mgafs #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #lunar and earth show #the lunar and earth show #freddy and funtime freddy show #the Freddy and Funtime Freddy show #tsbs #the security breach show #the security breach shows #the Funtime foxy and Glamrock Chica Show #funtime foxy and glamrock chica show #roxanne wolf and gregory show #the Roxanne wolf and Gregory show #cassie and helpi show

[fangirlfrom-hell]

The Fragile Bonds Part 1 || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly erased my blog 🫠

Summary: After their father's death, Becca moved in with Jay. This is the first time the detective brother has to go undercover since his sister has been under his full care, creating a challenging situation for both. Reluctantly, Becca will have to live with Will and his family during those days, even though she doesn't feel very welcome in that household.

Becca had been sitting down on the living room sofa for the last 15 minutes, looking at Jay going in circles all over the place avoiding whatever he wanted to say. 

"Would you please just spit it out? You are driving me crazy". 

He dried stopped in front of her: "I'm going on an undercover run. This is going to be for a few days, at most a week I hope....aaaaaaand you are staying with Will". 

He made a lot of hand gestures for each word he pronounced, especially when he mentioned their brother's part. Becca had a lot of emotions going around her chest. She was usually very nervous about her brother's job, but the prospect of him going undercover amplified those feelings. Of course he had been undercover in the past, yet this instance held a distinct significance: It marked the first time into such operations since she had moved in to live with him after their father passed away. This added an extra layer of complexity to the situation for both siblings. Besides all that, staying with Will for an entire week? That was torture! 

"Oh. Ok. Well, is Natalie ok with this?" She questioned the plan, somehow looking for a way around. 

"I already talked to Will, who is your brother. I honestly don't care what Natalie thinks". 

"But it's her house too..." Becca had this feeling that Natalie didn't quite like her, especially because of the emotional problems she had been dealing with due to all the changes and recent losses in her life. She was having a hard time dealing with anxiety and depression, and her brothers, mainly Jay, had been very busy taking care of her, rescuing her from her bad days and impulses. Natalie wouldn't like to have her in her house, especially around her baby, that was for sure. 

Jay approached his sister and sat down at the coffee table to be at her same height. 

"Bec...it's all settled. I know this is not your favorite idea in the world...to be honest, it's not mine either, but it's what we have". 

The girl took a cushion and put it on her lap to hug it. She unconsciously turn to the other side before speaking out again: "You can always choose not to go". 

Jay jumped to the sofa to meet her gaze and gave his sister a warm smile with pity eyes. 

"I know". She understood: "It hits different, now that we live under the same roof--I mean, when I was with...dad...I didn't see you every day, so it didn't bother me, I didn't even noticed if you were gone. But now... it makes me realize a lot of things..." 

"I know". Jay continued the idea: "Somehow it is harder for me too. What frustrates me the most is that this is your birthday week". He sighed: "I bet I'll be back in time but if not, we'll double the celebration on any other day, that I promise". 

Becca frowned: "I don't really care about my birthday. Just be very careful". She hugged him tight: "Very". 

"I will be". He kissed her hair. "But for now, I got an idea: before I go: movie night and pajama party as you liked when you were little". 

Becca smiled: "Yeah, I'd loved that. We used to do that a lot back in the days". It was what Jay used to do to keep her distracted when their mother got ill and started having frequent hospital admissions. 

"Quality time together as siblings, so you won't miss me so much". He teased his sister. 

It was the day. Becca packed the last couple of things before going down. She stopped at the frame door of her room looking around to check if she had forgotten something. In the middle of the bed there was a stuffed kitten, the one her mother gave her in her 7th birthday when her greatest wish in life was to have a cat as pet, but they couldn't get one because her father was very allergic to them. That stuffed kitten was the solution to the problem. It was one of the few objects she had from her mom. Becca thought about taking it, but decided to leave it there, thinking she would be mocked about it. 

"Where are you supposed to be going? It's only a week or less, Becc". Jay said when he saw his sister comming into the kitchen carrying so many bags. 

"It's only my school backpack, my daily clothes backpack, some books in this one and my dancing/acting backpack...because Will is taking me to my lessons, isn't he?". 

"Yes, I talked to him about that". But Jay wasn't very convinced of his oldest brother's intentions of doing that. Since he got together with Natalie, hers was the only family that mattered to him. "He has your schedule and all". 

"Good". 

"Alright. Leave those in the floor and get in the car. I'll make a double check around the house to be sure we're good to leave". Becca obeyed. 

After a few minutes, Jay joined his sister. The kitten was in his hands and he gave it to her as soon as he got into the truck: "Here. You forgot Mr. Snuggles". 

She smiled: "I was actually thinking of leaving him here". 

"What are you talking about? You can't even sleep without him!" The detective said as he started driving. 

The Halstead siblings entered the 21st from the parking lot. Becca was only carrying her small backpack with books and held Mr. Snuggles in her hands. Jay helped her with the rest of the bags. 

"Well, look at you!" Platt greeted Becca from her usual place in the front desk. -"I heard you are taking a short vacation with your doctor brother". 

"I am. I wish I wasn't, though". The girl said simply. 

Detective Halstead was looking around: "Is Will upstairs?" 

“No. Your brother hasn't arrived yet". 

"I told him to be here on time". He muttered in annoyance. 

"Hey, it's still early. Maybe he got caught in traffic or something". 

"Yeah, or something...". He concluded the short conversation and guided his sister to go upstairs. 

The Intelligence team was gathered around the board when brother and sister made their appearance. The smile was unanimous when they saw Becca coming in after Jay. Hank Voight approached a few steps: "Becca! What a surprise!" 

"I wasn't actually supposed to be here, but it looks like Will forgot about me". She stated that as something normal. Hailey raised her sight to check on her boyfriend's reaction, who was eagerly typing on his phone. 

"Well...silver lining: you get to visit us! We haven't seen you in a while". Burgess commented.

 Kevin stood up from his place to bump fist with the girl: "That right!". 

From the back of the office, Al peeked his head to greet the girl: "Did your brother gave you the book I sent?" 

"Yeah! Actually I almost finish reading it. Thank you, Mr. Olinsky". 

"A book?" Adam teased the little girl, "How old are you? 85?" Becca laughed and Al was about to say somethig when Jay abruptly interrupted the conversation, not even knowing that they were talking: "Alright, Becc. Will's on his way, he should be here soon". He said with a stern tone. There was no need to be a detective to know he was very upset. 

Jay's phone rang, but it wasn't his personal or detective cellphone. He received a message as an undercover and muttered something when he read the text. 

"I gotta go, I'm running late for...you know". He pointed to the phone and all the detectives understood. "Becc, you'll have to stay here alone for a few minutes. I can't wait for Will with you, I'm sorry". He looked at Voight asking for his approval with his gaze and the boss nodded. "You can take my seat, he'll be here soon". 

Becca nodded with sadness, swallowing hard trying to retain her tears. She was mentally prepared for this moment, but emotions were all over her chest: "Promise to take extra double care..." 

"Becc, I already told you--". 

"Promise me!" She lifted her pinky finger to consolidate the promise and her brother smiled following the game. 

"I promise to take double extra care". And when they crossed their fingers, he hugged her tight and sighed before parting: "Ok, gotta go now". 

Becca stood there until he disappeared going down the stairs. She felt a soft touch on her shoulder and Hailey's sweet voice invited her to the coffee room. 

"He'll be just fine, nothing to worry about. Your brother is a great cop". The blonde detective reassured the girl, who was pretending to be alright. "Besides, I'll be checking on him". She winked and took a juice out of the fridge and gave it to her. 

However, despite Becca missing her brother dearly, she didn't feel concerned about him in that way, as she saw Jay as invincible. What truly weighed on her mind was the thought of spending all those days at Will's house. Will had always been distant from her, almost like a stranger she used to call "brother," until just a couple of years ago when he made the decision to return from New York to Chicago. Before that, he was constantly on the move, traveling, studying—anywhere except home, even during the time when their mother, who was sick, had passed away. 

After a few minutes, Will arrived at the station, where he was greeted by Trudy Platt with a less-than-friendly gesture. "The Doctor's here". She announced striding to the entrance of the bullpen, him following her closely. As soon as he spotted his little sister, Will opened his arms to embrace her. 

"Hey, Becky!" Becca hated to be called like that, but at least he was trying so she simply rolled her eyes, "It's been a while". He playfully shook her head, something that also annoyed her quite a bit, a fact that she couldn't help but hide with her face. 

"Yeah, I know", she said, slightly moving away from him. 

"What do you have there?" Her brother puffed when he spotted the stuffed animal and he took him to observe it, "Aren't you a bit old for these kind of things?" He teased her. 

Flushed with embarrassment, Becca's face turned a deep shade of red, her thoughts consumed by the realization that now everyone around her would surely take notice of the plush toy. 

"Hey, Beccs!" Noticing the situation, Hailey called her with affection, her voice softening as she spoke directly to her, "You know, I'll be undercover with Jay, not diving in as deep as he will. I'll be in and out, so... if you need anything during these days—anything at all—just give me a call. You know my number’s on the phone. I'll be there as soon as I can, promise.”

Becca deep sighed: "I wish I could stay with you better". They both smiled. Upton opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted by the Halstead Brother's voice.

"Alright, Becca. I'm sorry, we gotta go. I'm actually in a rush right now". 

And so, she departed from Intelligence, from everything that held reminders of Jay—Unsure of how long she would be apart from the few things that made her feel at home. 

"We fixed the guest room for you, it's all yours for these days. You can close the door to have your privacy, but I--I removed the lock from the plate. You can close it, but it will always be open for us--well, for me to come in". Becca stared at the door, analyzing. She understood where the action was coming from, but couldn't help to compare that Jay had never and would never do that to her. 

"I'll always knock before coming in, don't worry". Her brother smirked, trying to lighten the situation. She forcibly smiled back to him. There was an unconfortable silence. Both of their minds were going in circles, trying to find something to say. 

"Natalie is on shift right now and Owen is with her grandma, so it's only us for now. If you want to, we could--". 

"I have homework to finish". His sister interrupted, but immediatly regret it, "But, maybe later we could--" 

"Yeah, we could do something. When you finish". Silence again. 

"Thank you". The teenage girl said before he left the bedroom, "For taking me". That night she avoided dinner by pretending to be asleep. 

She heard when Natalie arrived very late at night and sensed the hushed tones exchanged between her brother and his girlfriend when Will mentioned her presence in their home. Becca didn't like the unease that settled within her —she could feel them clamoring to escape the confines of her chest, she felt small and insecure. 

Thoughts and impulses that she had long suppressed began to resurface, intertwining with the tendrils of anxiety that sought to take control of her body. She longed for her familiar room, her comforting bed, her nightly rituals, and above all, she ached for Jay's reassuring presence. She wondered where he was, what he was doing in that exact moment, if he was safe. Her breathing began to agitate and her heart began to beat rapidly. She thought about giving Hailey a call, but it wasn't a real emergency to bother her with. She started to sniffle, and didn't even try to stop the tears. 

In her grip, Mr. Snuggles was tightly embraced, his plush form offering some solace amidst the overwhelming feelings; She closed her eyes, if she concentrated hard enough, she could conjure the memory of her mom's scent that lingered faintly within the fibers of the stuffed animal. The memory of her mother served as a soothing balm for her heart, and she felt a surge of gratitude towards Jay for making her take Mr. Snuggles at the last minute. 

With her mind slightly cleared, a glimmer of hope emerged: Tomorrow would mark the start of a new week, school and after-school activities would serve as a welcome distraction and would keep her away from Will's house, where she felt less than unwelcomed. She smiled when she remembered her dance lessons, she thought about them with excitement, that would maintain her sane, yeah. 

With the scent of her mom still enveloping her, her breathing gradually returned to normal, and her eyelids began to droop, until she finally fell asleep. 

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share. 😌♡

#jay halstead #Will Halstead #Halstead sister #One Chicago #Chicago PD #chicago med #One chicago #Will halstead x halstead sister #Jay Halstead x halstead sister

[nytfythfhtyf]

what’s your damage about “gifted kids”?? i mean, i was a nightmare in class but i don’t see any reason to have issues with them

please read this im begging you. i put off breakfast for an hour writing this bc i really care about it

i even capitalized stuff and did punctuation to make it easier to read.

The biggest thing that bothers me is that there is so much content for and about ppl who are “gifted kid burnouts”. It’s literally everywhere on every website, there are thousands of posts and everyone on this site reblogs them. It’s inescapable. And because this subset of people gets so much attention, anyone who didn’t have the “gifted” experience who also wants to talk about their struggles in school gets. Basically ignored.

(Sorry this is long I just wanna explain it as well as I can) On tumblr the “gifted kid problems” thing is extremely popular bc this is the ppl-who-read-books-instead-of-talking-to-people website. Which is totally fine, and I wouldn’t mind it if it didn’t feel like I was the only person out of millions who wasn’t gifted. If someone makes a post about being a burnt out gifted kid it gets thousands of notes. If I make a post about how being the “stupid kid” my whole life fucked me up, it gets three likes from my mutuals and then dies and is never seen again.

I think it also has a lot to do with the idea that overworking yourself, and getting straight As (even if you’re not actually learning anything!), is highly praised in Society. Because schools need good test scores if they want to keep getting money. Bad test scores, while literally being part of the learning process because we learn from mistakes, don’t bring in the funds. So the “dumb” kids get treated like shit, and teachers have to teach kids how to pass tests, instead of actually getting the material into their brains in a meaningful way. If you skip meals and don’t sleep to cram for tests, you’re considered a better student than someone who prioritizes their mental and physical wellbeing.

So you get the culture of kids who brag about sleeping three hours every night and having an iced coffee as their meal for the day, and the less you take care of yourself the more cool and relatable you are. Which I don’t really blame them for. When the school system is this fucked up and you’re struggling this much, of course you want to tell people how much it’s hurting you. I think a lot of people just want someone to tell them that’s not okay, and they shouldn’t have to neglect themselves so much. But unfortunately, it’s usually impossible to graduate college without overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion and illness. So it continues.

I think it’s good that people are posting and sharing their experiences and trying to unlearn the bad habits and mentality. But unfortunately a lot of the “gifted kid” people still think or at least act like they’re the only ones who struggled in school. Because they worked the hardest, they deserve more attention. (I also think being constantly praised by teachers as a child and being the favorite plays a part in the attention seeking behavior).

So anyone who physically couldn’t overwork themselves to the point of earning the “gifted” label, because of disabilities or any other reason (don’t even get me started on the expectation that all autistic people are great at school (((non-gifted non-savant autistic kids are treated like worthless failures their whole lives)))), those people don’t deserve to have the whole internet feel bad for them. You couldn’t see them working themselves to exhaustion studying or doing homework, because their everyday lives were already exhausting, and they literally couldn’t spend any more energy on school.

So, if someone makes a post about how hard it is to do any schoolwork at all, and how their school experience was torture because the classes weren’t made to actually teach them and they weren’t good at test taking, you ignore it, because you “worked harder” and still struggled just as much. Or you comment and say “Oh same but I got all A’s and can write an essay in 5 minutes without even trying and I can read books at the speed of light” or “Oh and did you know how many gifted kids are autistic and adhd. I’m autistic and adhd and it made me so good at school” because you’re so used to having everything cater to you.

My goal isn’t to minimize burnt out gifted kids issues and trauma, it’s to get people to understand that they aren’t the only ones that deserve pity and sympathy. School fucked everyone up in different ways and it sucks no matter how good your grades were.

So no I don’t hate gifted kids themselves just for being gifted (although I will admit I absolutely have a grudge of burning jealousy bc I wish society liked me as much as them, which is where my urge to insult them comes from), I hate the way they act, on social media and in real life. You can post about your struggles and that’s totally fine, but if someone makes a post about how hard school was for them because they weren’t good at it, instead of commenting that your experience was different, or literally just ignoring it, maybe reblog it. Because school sucked and you both had it hard. Maybe even leave some sympathetic or understanding tags (without making it about you) if you’re feeling it.

but if they go on here and make fun of ppl who arent good at school or any academic skills and call them stupid then i hate them and im hitting them with my car

#ok im gonna go eat breakfast now #thanks for coming to my presentation #i say things #i want you people to see this #asks #anon #no reblogs anymore i dont want to fight with people online

[neurotypical-sonic]

what are some of your favorite sonic fics as of late?

Here are some of my all time faves from the top of my head!! I simply can't include everything I want to, it'll get too long, but I might do more themed fic recs in the future asdfjkf

Super Sonic Speed by Mobbo

An unfortunate, tiny change in the workings of the universe means that Sonic never meets Tails. Years of fighting Eggman alone start to get to you after a while.

You Aren't Even That Fast by Mobbo

Sonic, through sheer pomp and circumstance, manages to keep his speed a secret. Here’s how that goes down.

Interpretive by ToFightOrToFlee

Most nights, Tails would be more upset about being woken up in the middle of the night when Eggman isn't looming on the horizon, threatening world domination. He values his sleep, thank you very much. Tonight isn't most nights.

Guardians by Speed1236

Knuckles sticks to doing his job that first night after they defeat Eggman.

Dude, When Do You Even Sleep? by Kaddi

Sonic kind of wants to crash. Preferably into bed, but anything will do, really. Now that he's a werehog, he's nocturnal at night - but still diurnal during the day, and it's messing up his sleep. And now Knuckles and Amy are leaving, too, like he needed another thing to keep him up at night! Why is that bothering him so much anyway...? ("needing cuddles" isn't a transformation side effect he anticipated)

It's not an easy road, but now I'm not alone by Sylvalum

A terrible illness in Silver's time causes him to do the unthinkable: use a Chaos emerald to go to the past, seeking the help of the legendary hero, Sonic the Hedgehog… But he's not the only one.

If We Close Our Eyes, It'll Go Away by couchHouse

Fleet is certainly a kid with a lot of problems. The whole "turns into a murderous demon when exposed to chaos energy" thing is just part of it. But Ebony is determined to do right by him. No matter how dangerous he has the potential to be, he's still just a scared kid, right? Unfortunately, we know how this ends. A handful of stories adjacent to the canon issues as Ebony struggles to fit a chaos-powered ball of trauma into her life with as much love and care as possible. And what happens after she fails.

Febuwhump 2022 Day 5: "Let Me See" by Hextoons

Sally confronts Sonic over hiding his injuries. He's such a bad liar.

Displaced by benignmilitancy

"Shadow?" He doesn't know what they're running from. "Are we dead?"

The Lost Prince by LeDiz

So it turns out Sonic is the Lost Prince of Mobotropolis. That's a thing. When the kingdom demands him home for a celebration, Sonic and his friends have to deal with the fallout, while Sonic's family begins to realise they maybe never knew him at all.

Tomb by OctoberSpice

Even Sonic is afraid of the dark.

and honestly anything by PhantomEmeralds, somemarinagirl, skimmingthesurface, chaox, gayemeralds, SageNebula, and sketchjii. oh my god I've missed so many but once again this is already long. might do more later

#ask #anon #egg.txt #fic rec

[yuikomorii]

I hope this doesn’t bother you, Admin-chan, but I just find it odd how Ayato and Ruki are your top boys taking account they’re rivals and well…Ruki wronged Ayato in many ways and I don’t wanna be that person but he’s one of the least problematic Diaboys so I don’t get why Ruki would treat him the worst out of them all. I mean, shouldn’t all Sakamaki’s be a threat to him, why only be so mean towards Ayato? That’s what I can’t understand.

// Don't worry, it doesn't bother me! I know Ayato and Ruki have very different personalities, and I've stated several times why I love Ayato, but Ruki is my second best boy because we share many interests and a thirst for knowledge. I'm actually in the mood to write an essay about it, so please excuse the length 👉🏻👈🏻

Ayato & Ruki Analysis, let’s go!

I love Ruki; he's such an intriguing character, but his attitude towards Ayato irritates me at times, especially because he sees Ayato as some sort of privileged brat who gets everything served on a silver platter, despite the fact that we know that’s exactly the opposite taking account that this guy had been mentally, emotionally and physically abused for decades.

The Mukamis are my favorite family, but I dislike how they constantly dismiss the Sakamaki brothers' trauma and adopt the "I've got it worse than you!" mentality.

Going back to Ruki, yes, what happened to him was indeed heartbreaking but the thing is, they wanted to show how Karma hit him. We know young!Ruki was a cruel child, he punished his servants for every little mistake and considered himself superior because of his position. Now, let’s talk about young!Ayato. He was literally Ruki's polar opposite; a kind child who didn't care about his Prince status and treated everyone equally, such as the butler, who was shown caring a lot for Ayato in LE and YB.

I usually like rivalry when it’s good portrayed; I really enjoyed the Shu x Yuma and Kou x Subaru ones, I think they were really well written. However, in Ayato’s and Ruki’s case… that’s a whole other story.

Ayato despises Ruki primarily because of romantic jealousy. Ayato may appear narcissistic and confident, but many people fail to realize how insecure and low his self-esteem is. Ayato is shown in MB to believe that no one will ever love him back. He is aware that if he falls in love with someone, that person won’t reciprocate his feelings, and thus he will get hurt. That's why Ayato kept rejecting Yui there and eventually let her go with Ruki. He clearly knows Ruki is better than him in every way, he just won't vocally admit it; he knows Ruki can easily win Yui's heart, and that's why he's a threat in his eyes.

Ruki's hatred for Ayato stems mainly from power jealousy. Ruki's main goal is to become Adam, but he can't because he isn't a pure-blood vampire, so he projects his insecurities onto Ayato, who, as the main guy, is considered the true Adam. Throughout the routes, Ruki appears to be impressed by Ayato as well. He once questioned whether Ayato truly is special, but quickly dismissed that thought. Another reason is that, as mentioned in his MB brute end, Ruki believes Karlheinz loves Ayato and his brothers. He is very insecure too; he knows Ayato is stronger and has a better chance of having Eve.

I’m honestly sick of how many times Ruki has called Ayato “unworthy” of being Adam but little does he know that’s not something he chose. I suppose people really overlook the fact that Ayato doesn’t want the powers, he couldn’t care less about Karl’s plan, he just wants Yui’s love. He was literally cursed to become Adam, that’s definitely no blessing. Have you seen his awakening symptoms in MB? The guy couldn’t even control his blood thirst anymore; he was literally ill.

And, while we're at it, what exactly did Ruki do to be "worthy" of the Adam title? His orphanage plan already failed because Kou, Yuma, and Azusa were all shot, and if Karlheinz hadn't shown up, he would have most likely been gone. He basically took care of them in Eden and "trained" them, which essentially means telling them the details of his plan, while his biological children were going through nightmares.

Anyway, I'm relieved Ruki is no longer obsessed with the Adam and Eve plan. In CL, he seems less addicted to it and I'm glad CL demonstrated that Ayato would indeed help Ruki if something happened to him; he became concerned when he suddenly fainted and was eager to save him and others as soon as possible.

I doubt they'll ever become friends because their personalities clash, but it's nice to see they don't hold grudges against each other anymore.

#diabolik lovers #ayato sakamaki #ruki mukami #sakamaki ayato #mukami ruki #dialovers #admin #(oh I’ve been waiting for this one)

[greyfacade]

Ask game questions! 5, 7, 8, and 23 for spamton bc I'm legally obligated to ask about him. You don't have to do all of them tho if you don't want!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

First song I thought of, though I'm sure there are other more suitable songs I could come up with. But honestly, due to my illness I don't get to listen to music often. I'm sensitive to sound.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

There's been some really nice fanart, and I love the fake ad ones people make, and the pinups. I love buying merch from people.

Its also nice when people treat their plushes nicely, or actually see him as more than just the "funny salesman." Don't get me wrong, Spamton's is an awesome a salesman and all, but that's not all he is.

Oh, my fave part though, is how everyone celebrates his fan birthday. Thats super sweet. I love seeing people make fanart for that.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Hm.. there's lot of great fanart of him, and you can see what I post already.

But I guess his shop sprite. It's fun to talk to him.

I do wonder what he would be like in person though.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Haha... heh.... well, this will get long... (Sorry.)

Mostly just the fact that the fandom is made up of a LOT of hateful people, who hatepost about Spamton because he's "popular," or because their fans of Swatch/Queen/Addisons and are in denial about what those guys did to him so they try to pin it on Spamton by saying "he deserved it" or saying it never happened.

Which is REALLY ironic in a way. But wait, we got more!

(_WARNING: RANT INCOMING!_ You dont have to read this.)

Many people can't get past the "funny salesman" trope. They think the salesman pitch Spamton puts on is literally all he is, that he really is this guy who is silly, obsessed with money, and batshit crazy. Does no one know how entertainment works!? Has no one ever followed a YouTuber or Twitch streamer, or gone to the circus or seen a live show? That how people act in front of a camera, isnt how they act all the time!? Spamton doesn't actually care about money, he said it himself; he does all he does because he's an entertainer trying to survive! The Spamton Sweepstakes, the Fangamer ads, the Twitter replies... while they contain truths and genuine things about him, for much of it, he's playing everyone like fiddles! He's saying whatever the hell he can to make you buy his shit, because funny thing, its his job! And the things is, it WORKS. Everyone totally buys in to it! But while I'm sure he does find joy in what he does, it can also be kind of painful that everyone actually thinks that's all he is in a way... they infantilize him, they treat him like he's crazy/stupid, they stereotype him, they make fun of him, they talk about wanting to hurt him... and they think its okay, because "he's in on the joke." Yeah? You really think anyone would find joy in seeing you make art of them getting abused/hurt/killed? REALLY? Ever thought that maybe... its not actually okay....

I guess I feel bothered by it. Sure Spamton chooses to play up all the stereotypes about him so that people will buy his stuff, and its cool that he can still joke about things like that. But... I wish people saw more of the real him sometimes, and realized he deserves kindness and respect like anyone else.

But I think Spamton is a good example of how people go too far, how they'll greedily take everything from someone, even their dignity, if it means feeding their own happiness. How they can't separate entertainment from reality (... yeah yeah, some irony there as I'm talking about a fictional character...)

In a way, the Spamton fandom, often represents to me, much of the things I hate about the entertainment industry, hell even fandom. I'm glad people love him and buy his stuff, but I also wish they liked him for kinder reasons. I hope that if he continues to be in entertainment, he gets to make something he loves, that allows him to be who he wants to be. Because like many of us, he sometimes gets trapped in a role, determined by other people. And while some of it is true, like he is funny and has a dark sense of humor, and I'm sure he does enjoy many of the things he does... but some of it, I think is sort of forced on him. It's like if you don't act the way everyone wants, they'll get angry or abandon you. And that, thats awful.

(And Im not saying don't enjoy his salesman persona, just that, I wish people saw the rest of him too. Because he's a kind, caring and brave guy, and I really wish him the best ya know?)

.... of course, I admit this might be some of my own self-projection too, but lets not unpack THAT.

...

......

You made it this far, wow... uh... *gives you a gold star saying "I just wasted several minutes of my life to an insane fan rant." except all the words don't fit on the star, so it just says "I just wasted."*

... *runs away while you ponder the star*

#you dont have to agree with me on this btw!!!