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deepestnightcolor · 20 days

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Hi I love your writing!! Not sure if you take requests so please ignore this if you don’t!! What if Sam and reader were dating and then reader finds out about Sam/Penny liking each other in the past so they get kinda insecure and Sam reassures them

nsjhdwj thank you so, so much! <3

It really means the world to me to hear it! :) Thank you so much for your request as well, it was absolutely LOVELY to write. I hope you will enjoy it! Have a lovely day, dear anon~ <3

(Needless to say, I do take requests >:))

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x GN!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 1889 words

✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: a lil jealousy, a lil insecurity. it is mostly fluff, though. gentle kisses and all~

☾ ᴡʜɪꜱᴘᴇʀꜱ ☽

The relationship between Sam and you had begun to blossom in the fall of your first year in Pelican Town. It had all started out quite simple; playing pool with the blond and Sebastian in the saloon turned into hanging out and playing video games together. Taking turns trying hard levels bled into fleeting touches and looking at one another longer than necessarily needed; until it all ended in a chaste kiss behind near the river. It hadn’t taken Sam much longer to show up on your doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, asking you to officially be with him.

Ever since, your relationship had grown like the crops on your fields – filling your heart with a deep, comfortable feeling of contentment and calm, something no one ever had managed up until the town. However, whenever Sam walked up to you, looking at you with these deep blue eyes filled with excitement and genuine happiness and smiling at you as if you were the first warm day in spring, you felt like you were at the right place, at the right time.

However, there was gossip in town. Little whispers, really, nothing you wouldn’t have expected living in a sleepy community like this. The gossip here was nothing more than a fleeting thought that was spoken out; here one moment, gone the next.

You had always promised yourself to not let these whispers stick to you, to just smile and forget about it. And so far you had done well; the most attention you had spent on anything that wasn’t rock solid was wondering how someone would come up with something like that.

In all seriousness, you just didn’t care for it. It rolled off your back like droplets of rain rolled off your raincoat.

You didn’t think a simple visit to Pierre’s would change that. You were standing in front of one of the shelves in the far back, looking at the different seasonal seeds in stock, considering trying out something new on the fields when you heard Marnie’s voice. It was hushed as it usually was when she was gossiping. Any other day, you would have just turned back to the bags in your hand, but today, you heard your boyfriend’s name. Much to your shame, your ears perked up almost immediately, and even worse, you actually tilted your head a little to catch what Marnie was saying.

“Yes, I am surprised he didn’t end up with Ms. Penny. The crushes they had were quite obvious, even my nephew picked up on it,” she hummed.

Another voice now answered with a hum, but when they talked, you were able to identify it as Mayor Lewis’s. “Even my old eyes picked up on it! I saw them at the bridge often, and I always thought Ms. Penny just waited for him to make the first move and she would have been all his.”

Your heart sank. Sam had had a crush on Penny? You furrowed your brows as you thought back, trying to remember if you ever had picked up on anything like that. Then it hit you – they had often hung out by the bridge together, and if you were honest, you had always felt a weird tension sizzle in the air between them.

Marnie again: “It is quite a shame, really. Jas told me that Ms. Penny looks a little sad when they pick up little Vincent. I think they would have made a good couple; she could have taught him a lot, I bet.”

“And maybe he would have helped her to get out of her shell a little. I thought they were a good match as well.”

You couldn’t take any more. You stepped out from between the shelves and almost ran to the till, slamming the bags onto the counter. “Just these, please,” you smiled at Pierre, loud enough for the hushed whispers behind you to stop.

“Thanks,” you murmured after you had been rung up, fleeing the general store without as much as a look in the two chatterboxes’ direction.

You had genuinely wanted to let go of what you had heard today. After all, Sam was with you now, and he seemed genuinely happy with you. Even now in his sleep, he was looking peaceful and content; his arm stretched out towards you as usual. Whenever you and Sam slept together, he had to touch you in some way. You didn’t mind that, in fact, it usually calmed you and lulled you into a deep slumber. Tonight, it didn’t help.

You had started thinking as soon as your conversation with Sam had faded as his breathing had grown heavier; a clear sign that he was drifting off to sleep.

Had you gotten in the middle of something between Sam and Penny?

Would he maybe be better off dating her?

Would he be happier with her?

Why did he choose to be with you when there seemingly was a spark, big enough for others to notice?

Penny, in all honesty, was not only a beautiful human but had an incredible personality at that. She was a catch, no doubt. Maybe you had ruined the best relationship Sam could have ever had, because what could you offer? You were a farmer, nothing more, nothing less. Doing work many considered as nothing but simple and dirty. Whereas Penny was always clean and well-kempt: being noble enough to try and give the town’s kids the best possible education. Trying to give your boyfriend’s little brother the best possible chances, for crying out loud!

Holy shit, you had probably ruined Sam’s life, what did he even see in you?

“Babe?” a groggy voice next to you asked, making you tense up. You had been so lost in your whirlwind of thoughts that you hadn’t even realized how much you had been tossing and turning. You tried to stay still, even out your breathing. Maybe he would just go back to sleep.

But you knew Sam better than that. And just as you had expected, two strong arms slowly snaked around you, pulling you into a warm chest. Sam’s hand found your hair, long fingers running through it just mere moments later. Sam knew you, sometimes better than you knew yourself, and he knew what to do when you were nervous. And even now in your state of inner turmoil it helped; you relaxed into his arms, and for a split second, your head was quiet.

“What’s wrong, baby? Bad dream?”

That was your chance. If you said yes now, he would probably cuddle you, caressing your hair until you fell asleep. Sleep sounded nice right about now.

“Did I ruin your chances with Penny? Would you rather be with her?”

The caressing stopped, and you could feel the mattress behind you shift. Was he leaving now?

The light switched on, and before you could say something else, you saw Sam’s face hover right over yours. His rough hand was placed on your cheek now, thumb caressing the skin gently as he peered into your eyes. All sleep had vanished now, replaced by honest concern and confusion.

“Why would you think something like that?”

You bit around on your lower lip, looking away in embarrassment. “I heard Marnie and Lewis talk at Pierre’s today…They…they talked about the crush you had on Penny and the crush she had on you and how you would be a great match and how she is sad when she picks up Vincent now and-“

Noting how stupid you sounded, you stopped yourself, taking in a deep breath and not being able to stop yourself, “and it had me wondering, because I saw you hang out as well and Penny is so beautiful and kind and noble and she would have a good influence on you! And what am I, just a farmer, you have seen me in dirty clothes more often than in clean ones and-“

You looked at Sam helplessly, tears in the corner of your eyes. “And I just…Why did you choose me when you could have had her, Sam? Why didn’t you choose her? You could have…I…” The blond looked at you, patiently waiting for you to finish speaking.

Only when your stream of words had seemingly ceased did he lean in and press a soft kiss to your lips.

“Because Penny isn’t you, my love,” he murmured against the plush of your lips, looking into your eyes. His thumb was still caressing your cheek, allowing his other hand to lock together with yours.

“Yes, Penny is a good-hearted woman, and yes, I might have had a crush on her. But you touched my heart in a way no one ever has. I fell in love with you, and I mean all of you. Your eyes; the way they light up when you’re proud or happy. The way you smile and the many different smiles you have. I love every single one. I love that you get dirty every day while doing what you love. I love that you give it your all every day.”

Sam kissed your nose carefully, his eyes peering into yours again.

“I love how careful you are with everything, especially with things that are dear to you. Yoba, I love the way your breathing sounds when you are next to me, I love the way you ramble to yourself when you are working on something and think no one can hear you. I love the random sounds you make. I love seeing you. I love being around you. I love you being mine. I love you.”

Sam kissed your lips again, holding onto your face. You looked up at him with teary eyes, hiding your face in his chest. The blond laid back down, carefully pulling you on top of him. He drew random patterns onto your back; mostly hearts and clouds and little stars.

“I remember the first actual date we went on. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was so close to just throwing up. Sebastian kept teasing me, asking me why I was nervous, I had been to the beach so often…” he kissed your head again, holding you a little tighter to his chest. “And then I saw you there. All bundled up in your winter clothes, and I asked myself why I had been so stupid to suggest a date on the beach in winter. But when you smiled at me…Shit, that was the moment I just knew that you were my one and only. And I wouldn’t want to live a life in which you weren’t.”

You sniffled a little, but smiled a little as you thought back to the date. You had, in fact, asked yourself why Sam would want to meet up at the beach in winter, but you could have never allowed yourself to pass up the opportunity.

You closed your eyes; taking in your boyfriend’s scent. He smelled like cotton and a hint of vanilla. Honestly, you found he smelled like home.

You could feel Marnie’s and Lewis’s voices quieten down, as did your worries.

Sam could feel you relax in your arms and slowly lifted your chin with two fingers.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sam.”

“And tomorrow I will skate on the Mayor’s property.”

“No, Sam."

#sdv #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley #stardew valley farmer #sdv fanfic #sdv sam #fanfic #sdv sam x reader #stardew valley x reader #SDV #SDV Sam #SDV Sam x reader #Stardew Valley Sam #fluff #fluffy Sam

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maxsterclass · 6 months

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PAC: Urgent Messages You Need to Hear Right Now 👁️

Pick a emoji / number between 1 and 3 for your spread.

Pile 1: 📸

Pile 2: 💄

Pile 3: 🕷️

Pile 1 or the “📸” :

knight of pentacles [upright], ten of pentacles [reversed], page of wands [reversed].

For this pile, you probably want to start a new project or there’s something that you’ve really wanted to do for a long time. You’re possibly considering leaving your current place of employment to pursue this other desire of yours, because you feel bored doing what you’re currently doing. This is the creator / artist pile.

The first aspect I’m getting is that for some of you, you have not actually put this idea into action. It’s in the early stages of fantasizing, you’re wanting to make a switch but although you’re bored with what you’re currently doing, it’s something that you’re familiar with. And you don’t want to step away from something that’s safe.

If you’ve already started this type of project recently, you’re stressed out that it will be unstable for you financially. You might feel frustrated that you aren’t seeing “progress” at a pace that you want (for example, if you’re someone who wants to grow a platform like on Twitch, you’re overly concerned about the rate of which you’re growing).

This is about a success that isn’t immediate, that takes time to blossom, but one that is worth investing in. If you haven’t made moves yet, it’s asking you to do so. If you have already, it’s asking you to be patient and wait, that you will get over the rough patch you’re currently in and your situation will improve.

Pile 2 or the “💄” :

five of cups [reversed], justice [upright], temperance [reversed].

Recently, you’ve walked away from either a situation that no longer served you or a person that no longer served you.

You recognized something in your life was unhealthy and so you cut it out, you need to be aware that you made the correct decision.

I think that this decision wasn’t made lightly and only happened after a lot of consideration and analyzing from you.

The spread is telling you that this isn’t your fault and that you ought to engage in some self care (whatever that may mean to you, whether it’s a sheet mask, a bubble bath, a bottle of champagne, a night of horror films, etc) and look forward to times ahead.

I’m happy for you Pile 2!

Pile 3 or the “🕷️” :

seven of wands [upright], eight of swords [upright], the Hierophant [upright].

From this pile, you might be clashing with others over your beliefs? This is like if your family members were to identify as Catholic and you were raised in an extremely Catholic household but you yourself did not identify as Catholic. Maybe you’ve had to defend yourself against being “different” from what everyone else around you is thinking.

I’m also getting the 9th House in my head? Which is all about religion, philosophies, ethics, anything along that line.

There’s also a bit of that in the Inspiration card I think with the quill. I would recommend journaling both in a therapeutic way (like shadow work prompts or diary like activities) and also in a scripting way (like writing out exactly how you want your life to look in five years, two years, what type of friends you want to attract into your life with what types of interests).

You feel out of place in a particular environment you’re in, but you feel as if there is no escape to it.

But with your Oracle cards, your advice is that you are quite spiritually gifted. Another recommendation I’m getting is that walks could be helpful in terms of “recharging.” Or another idea is to possibly start gardening, I feel like you’d find it extremely easy to have things flourish?

Do not let other people talk you out of what you believe.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot #free tarot

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pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird · 4 months

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Fuck it, maybe I'll just turn into a grandma before I turn 30. I already sew and embroider, i picked up crochet, maybe I'll get into knitting. Might as well start collecting depression glass! None of these pieces match but they're all pink and thats what matters

I've actually started kinda having fun identifying depression glass patterns and learning the history and what's rare and all that. The platter is Mayfair, the two teacups on the right are Normandie, and the one teacup on the left is Cherry Blossom. The cherry blossom cup may be a reproduction (unsure) but it's pretty and sparks joy so i don't care too much if it's a true antique. (Plus reproductions were already being made in 1970 so it could be a 50 year old fake lol)

I also got my mom a set of depression glass sherbet cups in Florentine #1, which are uranium glass so they glow under blacklight. I've already packed them up to give her for Christmas but here they are on the shelf at my favorite antique shop. ($5 apiece is really cheap for depression glass - I got her a set of 4 for only $20!)

I love maximalism and i want to have a house full of pretty shiny things even if right now im in an apartment with Landlord White walls. I find it kind of comforting that depression glass was originally made in such high quantities because poor people during the great depression wanted something pretty and fancy for their homes without having to spend a lot of money, and now I'm buying antique depression glass for the exact same reason!

#my posts #antique #depression glass #antiquing

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multi-fan-dom-madness · 8 months

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Chapter 20: Morut'yc (Second Chances - Hunter x reader)

Morut'yc. adj. safe, secure.

Chapter summary: Safe for the moment, your squad takes a moment to assess the situation before moving on to Phee's surprise.

Chapter warnings: fluff?, Omega is best girl, Nav processing grief, Nav processing lots of big feelings actually, hidden relationship, the plot makes an appearance briefly but this is mostly fluff

Word Count: 4,560

< Previous chapter | Next chapter >

The warm Rintonne breeze does little to wick away the sweat you’ve worked up while helping Tech disassemble the paneling of both the Marauder and the Redthorn. He’d insisted on doing full diagnostic scans of each ship to ensure that tracking devices were not installed by Imps while you were all stuck in the sinkhole city, but apparently wasn’t satisfied with the flashing green light at the end of the scans. He wanted to physically check.

Sure, Wrecker could have moved the paneling on his own, but you’d stepped in, needing a distraction from the lingering feeling of Hunter’s lips on yours.

Yet distracted you remain. You whack your shin on an exposed beam and curse, eyes watering.

“There is a beam there,” Tech says, ever helpful.

Swallowing down a scathing retort, you massage the bruised area and settle for sarcasm. “Wow, thanks.”

“My pleasure.”

You catch the tiny smile tugging at his mouth as he turns away to loosen a bolt in the Redthorn’s belly. Soft, gentle warmth blossoms in your chest at the realization that he’s joking with you. You heft the bundle of cables higher onto your shoulder, then carefully step over the offending beam. You straighten up, back protesting, as you emerge from beneath your ship. Tech’s current plan is to link the two ships together to ensure a seamless data encryption and secure a private comms channel, which requires the thick cable you carry. One end plugged into the Redthorn, you make sure that the wire doesn’t snag on any bushes as you approach the Marauder.

“Need a hand?” Phee asks, falling into step next to you.

You grunt. “Might in a sec.”

She follows you under the attack shuttle, both of you crouching. Tech had shown you where to plug in the cable, but now that the sun has begun to lower in the sky, you’re going to need another light source to find the correct socket.

“Watch your feet.”

Phee stands clear as you drop the thick coil of wire to the ground, flattening the wild grass. As you retrieve the exposed plug, Phee seems to understand what you need and clicks on her torch.

“Aim it at that panel,” you say, gesturing vaguely to the large, rectangular panel tucked next to the Marauder’s landing gear. As the light illuminates the labyrinth of wires, tubes, and empty sockets, you quickly identify the correct one. The wire hums faintly to life as it slides home.

“So,” Phee says, lowering the beam of light. “You and Dark ‘n Broody, huh?”

Cutting your eyes over to her, you stiffen for a moment. “What?”

“Oh, c’mon, there’s something there,” she says. She bumps her shoulder playfully against yours. “What happened when you literally ran over to him?”

“Nothing,” you say, a little too quickly. Phee gives you a dubious look, her eyebrow cocked in a silent eye roll. “Really. The Redthorn was throwing out some funky warning errors that he couldn’t clear. Needed my help.”

She stares at you for a long, hard moment. “Alright, sure. If I ask him, he gonna tell me the same thing?”

“Yes,” you say, striding away from the panel, “because that’s what happened.”

You know she knows you’re lying, but you and Hunter both agreed, breathless and starry-eyed, to keep this new development in your relationship under wraps. At least for now. You all have enough on your hands trying to stay one step (preferably more) ahead of the Empire and keeping Omega safe. Trusting Phee to not pry any further, you step out from beneath the Marauder and wave over to Tech to signal him that the ship is ready.

He waves back. The panel behind you sparks and crackles with energy for a moment, but before you can even do anything about it, the electric hum dies down to a manageable level.

Phee stands beside you, at the edge of your peripheral vision. “We shouldn’t stay here too much longer.”

“We won’t,” you assure. “Just as soon as Tech calls the all clear.”

“I know,” she says, “I just don’t like feelin’ like a sitting duck.”

You hum in agreement. Letting your gaze drift, you take in the scenery. It’s just as beautiful as you remember from your first visit. Massive trees take up most of the view here, their thick trunks and heady pine scent consuming your senses. The wild grasses grow nearly to your waist. Above, puffy cumulus clouds tower into the atmosphere, the air thick with the promise of rain.

But your eyes keep coming back to Hunter. Perched atop the Redthorn with Omega, the two of them scrub at the carbon residue from the firefight over Nixor. Omega grins at something Hunter says, and even at this distance, the easy, caring smile that breaks over Hunter’s face is as warming and healing as the dawn. Tearing yourself away from the two of them, you refocus on Tech to make sure you haven’t missed anything.

Kark, if Echo could see me now, you think wryly. The thought of your best friend makes your heart squeeze. You should send him a message soon.

The thought of Echo leads you to thoughts of the armor currently spread out in the middle of the Maruader’s hold. Wrecker definitely saw it when he went up to see his gift, but so far he hasn’t come to say anything to you about it. You study Hunter for a moment more, wanting it to be a surprise for him to see you in it. You make up your mind.

Figuring that the others can help Tech if something goes awry in the next few minutes, you make your way as casually as possible up the ramp. A few of the plates shifted when Tech landed, but otherwise, they remain as you left them, arranged neatly and in anatomical order. Gingerly stepping over the legs and arms, you crouch by the helmet. The paint seems fully dry at this point; you make a mental note to thank Omega for the idea of using the squad’s colors.

A turquoise sunburst curls over the crest of the helmet, its yellow and orange rays stretching down the torso and limbs. Triangles of teal, stars against the dark-wash field of night, burst across the spaulders and gauntlet plates. A rush of pride crests within you.

The armor will take some getting used to, the plastoid plates resting atop your clothing like an exoskeleton. Tech did an exceptional job, just as you knew he would, of making sure the pieces fit properly; none of them pinch, jut, or overlap where they shouldn’t. In the tiny, cracked mirror of the ’fresher, you meet your reflection’s gaze as you lower the helmet over your head.

You nearly rip it right back off, the claustrophobic sensation immediate and terrifying. Chest heaving, you stare down into the black visor of the helmet.

“We’ll work on that,” you mutter to it.

It remains silent.

When you emerge from the ship, helmet tucked against your hip, Wrecker is the first to notice you. Giving a whoop! that echoes off the surrounding trees, he leaps in excitement.

“Wrecker—” Hunter’s tone is harsh, dipped down into his battlefield voice, but he cuts himself off as soon as he catches sight of you.

Omega flashes you a smile from atop the Redthorn. She scrambles to slide down the edge, calling for Wrecker to catch her. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she scampers over to you.

“It looks so good!” she gushes.

“Couldn’t have done it without your help, kiddo,” you say with a warm smile. And you really couldn’t have. Glancing up, you catch Tech’s curious gaze as he approaches. “Or yours, Technically.”

He inclines his head. “We will need to make sure the plastoid withstands our usual stress.”

It’s as close to a compliment as you figure you’ll receive from him right now. You’re fine with that; it’s not his opinion you care about.

Hunter’s eyebrow is cocked as he halts a few feet away, crossing his arms over his chest. His gaze sweeps you from head to toe, and you flush, lips tingling with the ghost of his. For a long moment, you hold your breath, anxious, palms sweating in the gloves.

Finally he grins, joy spreading over his face. “It suits you. You look...” He clears his throat. “You look like one of us now.”

Ducking your head, you smile, face flushing. “Was hoping you’d say that.”

He hums, but before he can say anything else, Tech interjects. “The ships are clean and re-encrypted. We can replace the panels now.”

To your relief, Wrecker helps with this part, making things go by much faster than if you’d done it alone. As you push against the final panel of the Redthorn, holding it in place for Tech to tighten the bolts, Wrecker grins down at you.

“Wanted to say thank you for the gift, Nav,” he says, “before we took off again.”

You smile, arms shaking a little with the strain. “I promised I’d help you learn to cook. While it’s not technically cooking, per se, blenders are fun. I’ll show you how to make a smoothie first.”

His grin widens, and yours does, too, his excitement palpable and contagious. “Great! What’s a smoothie?”

“Typically you make one with fruit,” you say after a moment, forgetting that for all their combat experience, the squad really hasn’t had much time to be regular people. “Some people like to put yogurt or milk, protein powder, whipped cream....”

“Aww yeah!” His booming laugh cracks over you. “Healthy and tasty? I can’t wait.”

The sun is still above the horizon by the time both ships are fully closed up again. Stretching your arms out to alleviate any future soreness, you sigh softly. A presence makes itself known in your periphery. Omega melds herself to your shadow. “Can I come with you?”

“I did promise you a ride in the Redthorn, didn’t I?”

She nods enthusiastically. “I’ve been studying scout-class ships as part of my training!”

Tech’s chest puffs with pride at his star pupil’s energetic admission. “Then I expect a full report of the Redthorn’s capabilities after we arrive...wherever it is we’re going.”

Omega’s face falls for the space of a heartbeat, but when Phee steps forward, the girl brightens once more. For your part, you can’t help but lean forward in anticipation. Phee’s penchant for embellishing and exaggerating is well known, but even you can’t quell the curiosity stirring in your chest, your desire to finally learn her surprise.

“Here,” she says, handing you a data stick. “Coordinates. When we get there, we’ll be expected to spend some time with the mayor, but afterward, you’ll have a place to rest.”

Hunter catches your gaze and twitches his eyebrows up. He says, “Mayor? What kind of place are you taking us, Phee?”

“You’ll see soon enough,” she says with a cheeky grin. “Now let’s go, before the Empire shows up again.”

As Phee follows Tech and Wrecker up the Marauder’s ramp, Omega practically skips to the Redthorn, disappearing into its hull with bright, excited eyes. You hesitate for a moment in the tall grass, within arm’s reach of Hunter, his presence nearly overwhelming in its proximity.

“I’ll see you there,” Hunter says. He jerks his head back toward his own ship. “Don’t want them getting suspicious.”

“I think that ship has sailed,” you say with a sheepish smile. “At least for Phee.”

His eyes darken a bit at that, becoming shards of obsidian glass. “Hells. Well, at least I won’t have to listen to the others tease me. Yet.”

“Would that be so bad?” you ask, quirking one eyebrow.

He chuckles with a shake of his head. “With Echo not around? Nah.”

You hum in agreement, another memory of his teasing jests surfacing. “Right. Well, stay safe.”

“You, too.” He lingers for a moment longer before retreating to the Marauder.

Turning, you’re halfway to your ship when he calls for you to wait. “What is it?”

His eyes have softened, buttery and mellow. “It really does suit you, (y/n).”

Your nerves sing with electricity. “Thank you, Hunter.”

With a nod, he waves, then climbs the stairs to the Marauder.

Sighing as you climb the ladder to the cockpit of your ship, you school your expression into something more neutral than the adoration you’re sure is etched into each line of your face. Omega swivels the pilot’s seat around as you haul yourself up, her brown eyes glittering with excitement.

“Can I fly?” she asks.

“You can help,” you say. There’s no way you’d be able to say no her anyhow, not with the pleading look you know she’s capable of mustering up. “But only after we take off. She’s a touchy ship.”

Cheering, Omega shuffles out of your seat just long enough for you to sit down, before launching herself up into your lap. With a surprised chuckle, you tug her farther into your lap to make sure she’s secure. Your hands move over the control panel with ease, the familiar pre-flight checks settling the roil of nerves that have suddenly made themselves known. You’ve never particularly enjoyed surprises—a preference for which the irony is not lost on you—and Phee’s desire to keep ahead of the Empire has you more on edge than you initially realized. But you’re not alone. Not anymore. Across the clearing, the Marauder lifts off from the ground.

Sliding the datastick into the navicomputer, you narrow your eyes as the pre-selected coordinates feed into its system. The coords aren’t ones you’ve seen before, and based on the navicomputer’s readout, it’s not a well-traveled system, wherever it is you’re heading.

“Alright, ’Mega,” you murmur. “Hands on the yoke.”

“Really?” she gasps.

You nod. When she places her hands on either side of the controls, you rest your hands overtop of hers, and then gently pull back on the padded grips. “Just like this. She’s responsive, so you don’t need to yank it around the way Tech does with the Maruader.”

She giggles. “Tech’s a good pilot.”

“He is,” you concede, “but every ship is different. You can’t fly one ship the same way you fly another.”

Once the ship lurches away from the ground and clears the treetops, you remove your hands. Omega audibly gulps, but then her jaw sets. She glances around at the various readouts, all of them showing normal.

“Flying is about a feeling,” she mutters to herself.

You raise one eyebrow, curious about where she heard that—she’s not entirely wrong, but you know she didn’t pick that up from Tech. Holding your breath, you wait to see what she does.

After a moment more of hesitation, she twitches the yoke back a little farther to catch up to the Marauder. The Redthorn responds beautifully, accelerating steadily as it climbs through the atmosphere back toward the vastness of space. Omega realizes, without your input, that the ship isn’t quite aligned with the other ship’s course; she gently adjusts her grip on the yoke, and brings the Redthorn into alignment.

“Well done, kid,” you say, beaming. “You’re a natural.”

She cranes her neck back to look at you, her nose scrunched in a wide, toothy smile. “You mean it?”

“Of course.” You ease her head back forward. “Eyes on the prize, though, kiddo.”

“Sorry,” she giggles. “I just— Tech promised me flying lessons, so now I can impress him with my skills whenever he lets me fly the Marauder.”

Your own gaze focuses on the bright, blazing thrusters of the other ship, several hundred feet ahead of you. “I’m sure he already knows how skilled you are.”

“I suppose,” she says. As you glance down at her, a sudden wave of emotion crashes over you, your heart soaring and squeezing at the same time. Her brow furrowed in concentration, her tongue pokes between her teeth in the exact same expression you’ve seen Tech wear when he works on particularly delicate projects. She may be Hunter’s daughter, you reflect, but she is also very much the squad’s sister, too.

You don’t realize tears have gathered in your eyes until you blink and one slides down your face. It drops onto Omega’s shoulder, instantly soaking into the dark fabric. Clenching your jaw, you will the rest of the moisture to retreat, not wanting the girl to worry about you. You nearly succeed, too, but not before the Redthorn exits the gravity well. Ahead of you, the Marauder stretches and vanishes.

Omega peers back up at you. “Nav, are we ready to j—are you okay?” Her eyes widen. Letting go of the controls, she twists on your lap. “What happened?”

“Hyperspace lever is that one.” You point, then, with a quick glance to the navicomputer to ensure the coordinates have held steady, you slide the lever forward. The ship jumps to hyperspace without issue.

“Nav,” Omega says, reaching up to wipe your face dry, “what’s going on?”

“S’nothing,” you say with a weak smile. More tears well up now that there’s attention on them. Omega’s brow scrunches with worry, her lips turned down in a doubtful frown, and in your heart of hearts, you think you finally understand the feeling of your entire being, your soul, shifting.

“Ad’ika,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. Caressing her curls, you swallow against the lump of emotions lodged in your throat. “Ner ad’ika.”

Her eyes widen further, tears welling up to match your own. “Buir.”

You can only nod, smiling tearfully. Omega burrows against your chest, her arms wrapping around you. Holding her close, you press your face to her curls, eyes screwing shut. You don’t know, and don’t frankly care, how long you remain there, holding your daughter, your little sister, your shadow. Now that you have a moment to breathe, a moment to think, all you can think about is the girl you hold next to your heart and her safety. If Phee’s surprise turns out to be just another stop in the journey of making sure Omega is protected, so be it. You’ll explore every system untouched by the Empire if that’s what it takes.

You wait for her to pull back first. When she does, her eyes are dry but bright and shining. You smile at one another, and then dissolve into laughter. Your abs hurt—you haven’t laughed like this in far too long, since Arien, but it’s a good kind of soreness. As you both calm, you ruffle her hair.

“C’mon,” you say. “I’ll give you the grand tour.”

She opens up every locker, most of which are empty. Her curiosity can’t be contained, and you wouldn’t stop her anyways. She deserves to explore, to be a kid. Yet, despite how sternly you tell yourself that, anxiety trickles into your bloodstream as she gets closer to your private locker, the one with the gray uniform and identification badge stuffed to the bottom. The thought occurs to you to lie, to say that that door is broken, but you’re past lying, especially to her.

When she flings open the door to that locker, she stills, her smile fading, the sun dimming behind clouds.

“What was the academy like?” she asks after a long moment.

“Stressful,” you say, quiet. “I...was never going to make high ranks. And I was okay with that. Supply officer was still an honorable post, one that served from behind the scenes, supporting the front lines without ever actually getting into combat.” You shrug. “School was never my favorite, but I was good at it.”

She tugs the uniform out of the locker. Pinching the gray fabric between her thumb and fingers, she frowns down at it like it insulted her. “You believed in the Republic.”

She doesn’t phrase it as a question, but you feel compelled to answer anyway. “I did. I do.”

“But the Republic is gone.”

“It is.” You sigh, sinking onto the bench that rings the cargo hold. Rubbing your face, you let out a long sigh. “I can’t imagine we’re the only ones who see the corruption of the Empire. Why else would they be hunting me down?”

With a shrug, Omega places the uniform back into the locker and shuts the door. She sits next to you, kicking her feet. “They don’t like people who stand against them. It was the same with the Republic; the Republic was just better at hiding it.”

You blink at her. “When did you become so wise?”

“Kamino,” she says with a grin. “I watched a lot of the training my vode went through. The Republic wasn’t the best, but it was better than what we have now.”

You can only nod at that. Sitting in silence, save for the hum of the hyperdrive and that damned squeaky panel that won’t stay fixed, no matter how many times you whack it with a hammer, you finally let yourself process the last several days. You realize, with a start, that Coruscant was only...four, maybe five days ago. And yet, so much has happened. Exhaustion settles heavy and frigid in your bones. Memories of your time in a Coruscanti prison cell drift through your mind: bland, tasteless meals; forced medications; and an Imperial officer who seemed entirely too smug after you called her a di’kut.

And then there’s the matter of Tarkin. You still only know the name and the fact that he’s not a fan of clones. Wracking your brain, you try to hypothesize why someone like that would be so interested in finding you. Leverage? Power? You clench your jaw, frustrated at the lack of information.

“Do you have a holo of Arien?” Omega asks suddenly.

You jump, so wrapped up in your thoughts you momentarily forgot where you are. Hand pressed over your heart, you nod. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, hang on.”

You’re glad you had the wherewithal to keep your old datapad stashed aboard the ship when you went to the academy. You hadn’t been allowed to bring your own, so you’d asked Arien to keep it safe. Of course, she had, but not without adding a few holos to it. Retrieving the datapad from its charging port on top of the highest rack, you click it open.

Arien’s toothy smile and shining purple eyes glint up at you from the screen. Your steps falter. For a moment, all you can do is stand and look down at the selfie she’d taken, probably just days before she died. Her long hair tied back and swept over one shoulder, eyeliner winged and perfect, crooked teeth bared in a show of exuberance: that’s the Arien you want to remember.

Omega stands on her toes to peer at the screen, as well. “She looks like fun.”

“Oh, she was,” you chuckle. “The most fun I ever had in my life was with her.” You nudge Omega’s shoulder with a wink. “You’re a close second, though, kid.”

“Yeah, right,” she laughs. “We don’t get to have fun.”

“You might now,” you say, thoughts turning back toward your surprise destination. “Who knows what we’ll find when we get there?”

Gazing up at you, the gears visibly turn in Omega’s mind. After a moment, she shrugs. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Can I see more?” She gestures at the datapad.

You hand it to her. “Yeah, here.”

She retreats to the bench that lines the wall and tucks her feet beneath her as she swipes back through the holoscans. A knot begins to loosen in your chest, one you didn’t even know was there until this moment. Seeing Arien as she ought to be remembered, you expected the pain to be crippling, paralyzing, but instead it was...dull. Present, for sure, and still very upsetting, but not debilitating like it had been just a few weeks ago.

“Grief is a normal part of the process,” she’d told you once. “And once we stop grieving, that person has found their way back into the galaxy. We don’t have to mourn for new life. We celebrate it.”

Maybe the lessening of your pain means her Force energy is moving closer to being reborn. Or whatever. You’re not certain if that’s even what she or her people believe.

Settling next to Omega, you smile at the holos as they pass by. You answer her questions, but mostly, she just studies the holoscans. Most of them are of Arien making various faces, some of them silly, some of them staged like she intended to set up one of those HoloNet dating profiles; but there are a few of you in there, too. Ones you didn’t know she took. There’s you, frowning up at one of the skyscrapers on Coruscant. There’s you, mid-bite of a dish you remember being one of the best things you ever ate, a blissful expression on your face. There’s you, asleep on your shared couch. And there’s a handful of ones with both you and Arien, faces smushed together.

The last one in that folder is another one of you. Brow furrowed, pen held between your teeth, your gaze looks like it could burn a hole through whatever you’re reading. And it probably would have, if that kind of power was possible. You don’t remember what you’d been reading in that moment, but that image is so painfully you—so determined, so passionate, so concentrated—that it leaves you breathless.

Arien saw you.

You want Hunter to see you the same way. You vow to show him these as soon as you’re able.

But you’re wrenched away from that thought as the navicomputer trills over the intercom. Rushing up the ladder, you slide into the pilot’s seat and ease the lever back in the same movement. As the hyperlane condenses back down into starlines, which collapse back into stars, your breath catches at the sight of the planet below you.

Glittering azure in the light of the nearby sun, the water world is a giant gem. Swirls of puffy white clouds and dots of brilliant green marble the planet’s surface. As Omega perches on your lap, you can’t hold in the disbelieving chuckle that bubbles up from your sternum.

“Look at that, ’Mega,” you say in a hushed, awed voice.

“I grew up on a water world,” she says in the same tone, “but I never thought water could look so...beautiful.”

This place’s beauty only grows stronger the farther down into the atmosphere you guide the ship, following the contrails of the Marauder. You circle a tall, conical island while Tech lands his ship, and your breath hitches at the sight of dozens and dozens of buildings nestled along the flanks of the island. Docks fan out at the base like so many fingers. As you lower the Redthorn, people’s faces turn up, shielding their eyes against the glare of the sun. At the top of the island, in a flattened courtyard, you land the ship close to the Marauder, and just sit for a moment, taking in the surroundings. A massive tree twists upward with a gnarled trunk in the center of the courtyard. In the alcoves of the wall that rings around the space, people pause, looking curiously at both ships.

“You ready?” you ask.

“If you are.”

You ruffle her hair. “C’mon. Let’s go meet the mayor.”

Taglist: @the-hexfiles @fjordg @idoubleswearimawriter @skellymom @jedi-hawkins (if i missed you or you'd like to be added pls lmk!)

BONUS!

Nav's armor!

#tbb hunter x reader #hunter x gn!reader #hunter x reader #rhiwrites #second chances #tbb x reader #the bad batch x reader

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neathbound-fiends · 4 months

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Long post, so I'm gonna stick it under a readmore for politeness, but!! gender, for the guys (and their feelings about it)...

Elliott: he's a man! ...mostly! He struggles to put it into words, the way he's attracted to femininity but very much not a woman himself. He finds that he is a man in the way one can only be when he is a lover of other men. He likes to be pretty, and will occasionally use she/her when dressing up for a party, but that's like a secret little game that he isn't letting anyone else in on. He tries not to focus too much on his gender (except when it's questioned) because it simply isn't something he feels is very productive and he's got bigger things to worry about. He's a man, just not a very good one. Not a very manly one, he supposes. In modern!AU, I think he'd identify as a demiboy

Warren: she is a girl! Cis and happy about it (or as happy as one can be at 13, when "blossoming into womanhood"). After she found out Arthur was a boy that used to be a girl, she wondered if maybe she was a boy that used to be a girl, and tested out he/him and a new name and wardrobe for a month before deciding actually! That was not for her, thanks! She'll leave being a boy to the boys (but does have a boy-sona, whose name and some of clothes she used for testing out boyhood, for when she's committing CRIME, because she plans on amassing a grand reputation as a criminal and then, in an exceptionally dramatic and heartstopping twist, reveal she's a GIRL!!! SURPRISE, BITCH!!!!)

Arthur: FtM. He doesn't really get into it much, and only revealed this to the family because he gave birth to a litter of kittens and that's, y'know, not something boy cats typically do. Really not much to say about this for him beyond that

Florence: she's a woman, but she's a woman in a way that's going to hurt you. She took a look at her gender, said "I like being a woman, don't like the thought of being a lady" and has purposely distanced herself from the notion. She's much more comfortable with her hair pulled into a tight bun and in suits than when her hair was a lot longer and she primarily wore dresses. Gender is a performance and she's picking the pockets of the audience

Doc: he is ALSO FtM, without much to get into. He got top surgery and got a tattoo to celebrate. He decided to modify the body he was working with instead of trying to finagle a new one out of the system. Hell said "you can look like anything" and he decided he wanted to look like a middle aged business man with the sex appeal of a thrice divorced tax accountant. He doesn't discuss anything prior to this, because as far as he's concerned, nothing did exist before this. Gender euphoria from looking like he was hatched as a full grown man inside a Bankers Box

Bolormaa: he/him butch, and pretty happy that way. He feels very comfortable with it, and thinks the simplest way to look at it is that he's his wife's husband, but a woman! And he does identify as a woman--if you imply that he isn't in any way, or that his wife isn't, he'll punch you in the fucking face. This is how he feels the most comfortable and affirmed in his womanhood, and has made his own meaning within it

Rhoda: she's a cis woman, and is pretty happy with this overall. She feels comfortable with femininity, and works a pretty standardly feminine job, and doesn't have any feelings towards anything else, nor desire to shift away from her womanhood. I think part of it is that she's found solace in her gender and the way she relates to it as being wlw, but also she just. doesn't strike me as someone who would want to be anything else

#remember when I said I was gonna do this several days ago #well here it finally is #I'm not gonna bother tagging this because I don't think it's really something that deserves to go into the tag #it's more for my own funsies because I like talking about it and also I figured maybe some of you would be curious #there's been a lot of new people around lately and not all of you have borne witness to my ramblings on FLRP server

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gkt-tummyaches · 7 months

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berserk intro

i've already established that berserk has maybe one semi-okayish role model. everybody else that's been in her life has done more harm than good, or taught her a plethora of methods and ideals that don't have a place in morally correct society.

because of how brat indirectly 'raised' her, berserk felt like an only-child growing up. she's never had to really share anything; most of her worries or wants or desires revolved around herself making for a girl who's unfortunately unused to being empathetic. in all honesty, she turns out quite rotten and selfish - like any spoiled/neglected child combo.

on top of that, berserk wasn't anything more than a weapon to her creator (and neither were her sisters.) there's a total lack of structure to how her transgressions or mistakes were handled. a lot of the time, being raised under the lens of villainy meant she didn't deal with consequences at all. it's still a tough concept for berserk to wrap her head around given nobody's really sat down to talk about it with her.

why shouldn't she be able to do what she wants ? why does she have to pay for things ? why does she have to follow this seemingly arbitrary, unspoken set of rules that make townsville run ? who cares who it effects.

,,, consequently, she doesn't have any friends because of this mentality. ironically, it's something else that berserk doesn't understand: that it's her that needs to change, because her actions have an effect on people - not that the world needs to change to accommodate her.

suffice to say berserk has a warped idea of how society functions. it's what gave way to a lot of her obsessive tendencies, the petty theft, the tantrums she throws even as a teenager. she's not had a lot of reason to grow and mature as a person - nor anybody to help her with it, nobody to guide her - and the loneliness just made it easier for berserk to delude herself. who's going to argue with her, tell her what's 'right and wrong' ? nobody.

so she starts acting out. pretty badly. reverts to the kind of things professor plutonium had she and her sisters do - for some kind of acknowledgement; not praise, nobody ever gives her praise, but something. to do something that means somebody will look at her. i haven't decided exactly what it is that would lead to somebody being concerned about her rather than concerned for the destruction she's leaving in her wake, but i do think that event comes and goes, and berserk is granted the attention of blossom or boomer.

berserk just needs a push in the right direction. deep down, she just wants approval. wants somebody to love her. like a sibling, like a partner, like somebody worth being around. not even brat, her lifelong friend, really feels that strongly about her.

she doesn't have the emotional depth or development to identify that her discontentment with life comes from loneliness and need for love. she just kind of thinks that one day she was angry and fed up and that only certain things make her happy. toppling buildings, breaking and entering, disrupting traffic - being a menace to society is what she thinks makes her happy, but what's actually going on is the adrenaline build-up before she's rewarded by somebody telling her off. because it's somebody paying attention to her, positive or negative, so she does it over and over to get that dose of dopamine (notably not serotonin) even if it ruins everything else in the vicinity.

none of it matters, because berserk is benefitting. right ?

in a roundabout sort of way, berserk is very sheltered. you wouldn't think it when she gets all mischievous and starts prattling on about any topic she can think of to get a rise out of people (and usually, they are the more unsavory/indecent subjects). or with how she acts out.

but putting into perspective that nobody truly raised berserk, just kept her in her room and threw whatever she wanted at her to keep her busy, it makes sense. she didn't go through formal education. she didn't have the internet until she was 14, no phone or personal device until she was 16. still doesn't really know what social media is.

there's a lot of things that she's not been exposed to or doesn't know how to access. we're not just talking academics. like,,, she doesn't know what taxes are, doesn't know that you need a license to drive, doesn't know there are laws that prohibit you to drink before a certain age.

and for the laws she does know about, berserk decides she's simply above them. that they don't apply to her. why should they ? she's not going to face any consequences.

in all, berserk is a character in need of a lot of love and a lot of guidance. i think if given the time of day, she could find something to pour all her energy into. underneath all the acts of defiance, she's a very vibrant individual with a lot of strength and determination. if there's a reward at the end of it, she'll get the task done.

she's a little hard-headed. i don't think she'll ever unlock the full effect of empathy and compassion, but i like to think she'd get pretty close; close enough to being able to have friends, at least. something about her is magnetic.

it's how she worms her way out of so many of her misdemeanors. being immature on top of it means she garners a lot of pity for being a 'misunderstood kid' and abuses it constantly. magnetic, and slippery.

which is probably why she is drawn to blossom. she's kind of the opposite of everything berserk is; she's firm and disciplined, controlled, well-liked. a guiding light. it's everything berserk (unknowingly) yearns for; the stability that's lacking in her life personified in blossom as a person.

but, being the kind of person she is, berserk doesn't go about it the right way. she obsesses, gets weird, starts pushing. teeters on this balance of will i, won't i ? because, like much of how their friendship goes, blossom is a lesson to be learned.

the most important berserk learns from blossom is i want doesn't get. and it breaks her fucking heart.

doesn't detract from the significance of such a lesson, though. and i think from there berserk would start breaking out of the behaviors she'd trapped herself in; being let down hurts, it's world-shattering - and that's the important part. it is. world. shattering. so what else can she do but start building herself back up ?

a newer berserk, somebody who's more receptive to criticism. more open to changing. having been exposed to friendship, the kind of chalk guidelines she needs to model herself after. she's still sad and lonely, and making friends is hard, but she's not... deplorable. it's a work in progress.

then boomer comes along. her very first real friend, who isn't a lesson or an authorative figure; just some dude. he likes bugs and he likes sugary drinks and doesn't mind sharing as much as he acts like he does.

in some way, boomer's the reward for surviving the lessons blossom teaches her. berserk isn't ever going to be the pinnacle of goodness, or even a truly decent human being - there's no room for that in the way her foundations are built, but maybe there's a chance for her to grow into something somewhat good.

berserk would be happy with "okay".

//😭 okay this ended up being shorter than bubbles' and boomer's. part of it is cus i'm trying to refrain from being too explicit. it's mostly just because for me berserk, while an interesting character, isn't very nuanced ? i have a very set kind of idea for her + it's unfortunately a little stagnant. she's a character better expressed per-scenario rather than trying to encapsulate her in a single instance, i think. berserk has a lot of energy and very little emotional regulation to go with it; it makes her very volatile, inconsistent, and oftentimes overreactive + that's totally something to explore in future posts if i ever get around to it. but i wanted this to sort of focus on the why of her as a character, since i've talked a lot about her two (2) non-familial relationships already. i don't think she'll ever transform into a full-fledged mature adult. there's definitely some elements of her character that are stunted by how what she absorbed and internalized in her fundamental development as a child. she can biologically be an adult, but i doubt she'd ever take on the kind of responsibility that comes with, if that makes sense; a lot of the tactics she plays into, such as pity or attention-seeking, rely on a childish demeanor. i don't think she'd ever grow out of it - consciously or not - even if she was working on self-betterment. as mentioned before, it's something she's kind of hooked on. yeah, she's trying to learn how to be happy in other, more fulfilling ways, but it's hard to let go of habits that give you instant gratification. she's so fun. i love her a lot. i hope it doesn't come across like i've infantilized her too much; i want her to be immature and spoiled rotten, but i don't want it to seem like she's got the mind of an infant. she knows what she's doing.

💚other character-centric posts will be tagged with #character intro from now on so they're easier to find. bubbles' and boomer's have been given this tag, too.

#ppnkg #powerpunk berserk #berserk #blosserk #? i guess #character intro #slight angst #hc #headcanons

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tibby · 6 months

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Tibby idk if we are mutuals but to me you are the one whose article about how men in movies and tv are the same as teen girls in other tv and movies I would read and trust.

I hope I am conveying this ok! I mean I feel like the way you draw connections between various media and like depictions of girlhood and fraught connections between girls in media is really interesting!!!

OH LMAO thank you!!! i take some issue with the way twitter and tumblr and tiktok try to present "girlhood" as this unifying thing every woman on earth can relate to, as if every single woman (or woman adjacent, given that i personally do not identify as such but that is how i was raised and how i am perceived. but i digress!) have had the exact same experiences across the board. and a lot of it results in tenuous links between various characters in media who have nothing in common except...being women. maybe sharing a genre.

and it's funny to me, because the same links can be made between just about any character if you try hard enough, and the idea of writing off middle aged men as teen girl coded is entertaining. i don't think there's enough there to ever explore it outside of joke posts, but also if there's one truth i know, it's that peter strahm is betty cooper coded. but betty cooper is not necessarily peter strahm coded. SHE is the blueprint and he is the copy, and she actually outsmarted the killer who had a psychosexual obsession with her, so.

and maybe that is making a mockery of quote unquote girlhood but also the idea of ""girlhood"" as presented on tumblr is so empty and hollow and reinforces gender roles and acts like a universal concept when it really isn't.

like. jason blossom fulfils the role of laura palmer and lawrence gordon is a quinn fabray kinnie and eduardo from the social network would relate to the melodrama alsbum. does any of this fucking mean anything? not necesarily! but neither do "womanhood is [specific experience of the op who doesn't realise not everyone lives in suburban ohio]" posts.

anyway this sounds like me being a hater and also now i'm concerned i misinterpreted what you were trying to say, as i sometimes do. but much love anyway and never forget that in a world where the term has been butchered to mean "any woman in a horror movie," matias o'brien IS a final girl <3

#ask #anonymous

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moonpool-system · 13 days

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4, 10, &11 for plural ask :0

Super late whoopp, hello it's Lucis/Prism here for yr infodumps

original post

4. Which headmate is the most different from the body?

Hmmm this is an interesting one cus it can go in a few different directions :0 We assume it means in mindform/physically, so everyone even vaguely humanoid is out haha!

Our two members most different from the body would be Survivor and Flapjack, then! Survivor is a slugcat from the game Rain World, and is a traumagenic split from food insecurity. Flapjack is a wood-carved magic creature called a palisman in the shape of a robin, and is a soulbond we summoned for our Hunter fictive!

10. Which headmates are emo/punk/goth etc?

Oohh like what kinds of subcultures do our members dip into? This one's pretty fun!

- Badeline (@protectingtulpas ) sticks herself in as much of punk subculture as she can with how isolated we are. I'm pretty sure she's anarcho-punk specifically- she's always had the punk spirit but our city friends helped her really blossom. She's learning guitar rn, plans on joining roller derby, goes out tagging/making graffiti art whenever she can, and more. I'm pretty proud of her! Akira has similar beliefs to her, and I'd call him punk too, but he spent a lot of time exhausting himself on rebellion in his exomemories - he shows his passion now by his café being a hub in headspace for people that need comfort and space to be themselves.

- Space identifies as goth, and focuses on the fashion side of things specifically. I'm pretty sure the vibe is tied to their identity as a revived sanitized Octoling, and despite his monotone and dark disposition, he's actually the main caretaker of our littles that want/need a parental figure around. Whenever she requests a drawing of themself I end up getting a hand cramp from the intricacy of the clothing designs!

- I think Ari is the only one that would call himself "emo". He's a Minato Arisato fictive originally, but while Minato of the Prism ended up developing more social schools, he ended up more closed off, asocial, and appearing bitter & melancholic. They've stated many times they enjoy it though, so I'm pretty sure that's what emo is

- Casey (@kitty-creamie-cookie ) is sure part of SOME kind of subculture other than being a plain ol furry but I don't think any of us could pin it down if we tried. Some sort of combination of pastel punk, radical acceptance of consensual kink, and some kinda secret third thing idk?? Psychedelic mushrooms probably /hj She sure knows what she's doing even if we don't

11. What are some pet peeves headmates have about other headmates?

This one's pretty funny, I'm like 80% sure the other frequent fronters have beef with me for spending hours losing time hyperfocusing using the body and subsequently blocking them off from front LMAO... we fight our adhdtism like warriors

#drugs mention #plural #plural community #plural system #actually a system #plural pride #system Infodumping #fictive #prism subsystem #plural ask game #ask game

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hikari-ni-naritai · 1 month

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prime numbers be upon ye^^

uwaaah!

2. do you identify as butch, femme, masc, and/or gnc? or none of the above?

nope! none of them. im just Girl

3. how did you realize you were sapphic?

reading Highway Blossoms. id never seen a romance that i related to as much as that, so i was like. damn i might be a lesbian. which means i might be a girl.

5. do you consider yourself a dyke?

emily as a rule doesnt reclaim slurs. shes too boring to relate to them.

7. have you ever crushed on a straight girl?

when i was a boy yes. since being a girl i think there was one girl i had a very minor crush on who's , as i understand it, bi but leans way more towards boys. she was interested in me on some level but by the time i was available for that sort of thing it had dissipated. ah well.

11. what are some good sapphic songs/music artists?

i dunno! i dont like. seek out that sort of thing. i dont really listen to a lot of romantic type music.

13. good sapphic movies/shows?

yagate kimi ni naru. sakura trick.

17. how many people have you dated? talk about them if you want!

5, but only 2 of them sapphicly. the first was ... like almost a year? but she was dating some other girls and it became extremely obvious im not capable of being involved with polyamory, so we went back to being just friends. she's still my best friend by far and im really glad we managed to maintain that. old emily would not have been able to do that. the second was a girl i was raiding with. it was really fun teasing her during raids but when we tried actually dating, she got way less teasable and the relationship felt really like..... neurotypical, or straight, or something. between that and our incompatible sense of conversation, i couldnt take it anymore so we broke up after like a month or two. we're still good friends, but the distance between us is kinda necessary.

19. describe your fashion sense. do you “dress gayly”?

i just wear the same clothes i did before being a girl. jeans and t shirts. i would also like to get properly into flannels but finding them is a pain. i dont think this is particularly gay its just lazy.

23. do you like being referred to with masculine adjectives, feminine adjectives, both, or neither?

like in terms of appearance? you can call me cute. ill take that. i dont really accept other things tho.

29. how about a non-canon sapphic ship?

KYOMAMI!!!!!!!!!!!

31. LEAST favorite sapphic character?

mmmmm off the top of my head, there was a situationship in a manga i read where two girls both liked the same girl and fucking hated each other, and one of them was like mean about it, and the solution the girl they liked came to was 'i will just date both of you and you'll both hang out with me at the same time and snipe at each other constantly', and like. i dunno who but someone in that group is my least favorite.

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pixie-broom · 1 year

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Oh man. Finally getting around to actually finishing the Ancient Magus Bride for the first time since I was like 10 and this show resonates so much with me now as someone finally coming to terms with my depression and chronic illness.

I identify so much with Chise and being cursed all her life by something that others around her literally cannot see. Feeling like it would be better to die to escape that curse and her trauma until she’s whisked off to some magical world where her curse serves a purpose and she can make friends and help people. She blossoms into a magical person both literally and metaphorically, but just as she gains a desire to keep on living, her body threatens to give out on her at any moment.

Literally this show is so important to me. I’m on the second to last episode right now but I do remember that the dragon’s curse never really gets cured and she just learns to live with it despite knowing that she probably won’t live past her twenties. I appreciate that so much because chronic illness can’t be cured. Even in this magical fairy world where she’s a powerful mage, she’s still plagued by a weak body, and instead of finding some magical cure that saves the day, she learns to come to terms with it and live her short life to the fullest. That’s so important.

I won’t find some magical cure for my chronic pain. I won’t wake up one day with a normal body that isn’t left bedridden from extreme pain on the weekly. And that’s okay, I’m fine with that, and I can keep living on even if it means I can’t live in quite the same way as a lot of able bodied people. I can still enjoy my life, pain and sickness and all. And even if there aren’t real fairies and dragons and magical lullabies in this world, I can still find magic in my life that makes it worth living.

TLDR Ancient Magus Bride is really underrated and is very important for people like me with chronic illness and disabilities also the soundtrack literally goes so hard

#ancient magus bride #anime #chronic illness #broom babbles #spoonie #disability positivity #disability #sorry to rant about being disabled on main I’m still coming to terms with this so I will not stop talking about it sorry #this is my comfort show now I love it so much also I would die for Ruth

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thoughtsonpoldark · 1 year

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Do you suppose that, much like Elizabeth's true love for Ross is questionable, that Hugh's "love" for Demelza is as well? It seemed more like infatuation and lust to me. But moreover, his pursuit of Demelza came across to me as highly selfish and his manner at times, somewhat manipulative.

Hi there, I am very sorry I’ve been off this platform for so long. I am making my way back now. Your question is interesting and I wonder why some may be quick to question the genuineness of Hugh's love for Demelza bearing in mind that after her blossoming ‘coming of age’ Graham essentially positioned her in the story as a woman who would inadvertently capture the attention and affection of so many men. Leaving aside the deeply romantic and personable ones, this included some of the most aristocratic men in the story. Then, from Hugh's behaviour of consistency towards Demelza I don't think there is enough to make a case at alI that he did not love her.

My thoughts as usual are long and detailed here but they are much the other way from your suggestion. I would say that in contrast to Elizabeth, Hugh did love Demelza and unlike with Elizabeth, Graham did not include narratives creating huge questions and uncertainty around this.

In his pursuit of Demelza Hugh was dishonourable and disloyal to Ross. He actually acknowledged this himself several times to Demelza. Whilst many might think that if he loved her he would therefore have left her alone, that is easy to say as an outsider and perhaps would have been the case for a better person who had the strength and self discipline to resist. I think Hugh was weak and it was simply a case of him not being able to help himself. This is then alongside of his thought and promise to her that he would not allow his love of her to expose her to risk and cause her to lose everything and her family.

I think Hugh's feelings and desperation for Demelza was such that at a point he was offering to settle for a one way love from him to her. For instance, he insisted and was prepared to write to Demelza even when she she said she would not write back. So whilst on the one hand he wanted to give his love to her, in contrast Elizabeth was seeking to be loved, rather than to offer it to Ross. I think this is why she only pursued Ross when her marriage to Francis deteriorated and later when she saw him happy with a younger lower class girl.

Also the narrative around Hugh showed a lack of interest in other women once he met Demelza and that he put her above any other woman when comparing her. She tried to discourage this believing he was idealising her (to which he denied and gave reasons why not!). We as readers could also identify the qualities Hugh cited of Demelza were those which she did hold. He mentioned her 'light' a number of times. Hugh repeatedly referenced the qualities that he saw in Demelza and that drew him to her. Graham also showed that he could not hide this enough for his Uncle/Aunt, Caroline /Dwight and even Ross not to see this for themselves and his Uncle repeated that Hugh spoke highly of Demelza. This goes to genuineness.

The other thing is that Hugh's behaviour and verbal communication in the story was consistent from the beginning of his meeting Demelza to the end of his life and therefore more likely to be genuine for that reason too. He told her he loved her and would love her forever and it is unlikely that he would insist on writing to her believing at the time that he would not see her in person for 2 years while back in the navy, if he did not have the real emotions for her that he claimed. That is a lot of persistence and commitment for a man to do of a woman that he wont see much and who is taken by marriage anyway. A real casanova type character would probably not be willing to invest that much devotion for just a fancy.

As to Hugh being 'highly' manipulative I am not sure I agree with this in its strongest terms and as if that implies significant premeditation and him conniving. I intend to write a blog on my blog site about this. I see that Hugh applied emotional pressure on Demelza and did inappropriate things based on true genuine emotions which is quite unlike a character like Keren Daniels whose emotions were not and who I am more likely to describe as 'highly' manipulative. She was far more premeditated where as I see that Hugh was more of an opportunist in moments. When he visited Demelza the day they slept together he had expected Ross to be home and she told him he would be back shortly when he was actually out of town. Otherwise he always invited both of them to visit him. There is much more to say on the true extent of Hugh's 'manipulations' but this response is already so long.

Hugh's death is significant. I do think that his need to see Demelza when he was sick and on his death bed and the fact that he was still thinking of her and writing letters to her at such a time in his life reaffirms that he did have a genuine emotional connection and need of her. I definitely could not be unsure of his love for her and to still doubt it when reading his last letter to her. Along with many of his others before, this was a particularly beautiful parting letter. Hugh was telling her that when he is gone she should remember that ...

" No greater happiness than was to me revealed by favour of a single day with thee."

If he did not really love her I do not think he would still be 'playing the game' and making her think in such as passionate heartfelt way that he loved her when at that point he then had little or nothing at all to gain from it. Hugh also went on to say that if she happened to be sad that he died, that he would be proud of that but also that after crying for him, she should move on and not dwell over him. He references her beauty and advises she scatter her grief in the air and and leave him in the past. Whilst there was selfishness from him in his pursuit of her, there was a selflessness and lack of vanity and ego in this as him wanted her to continue living life happy despite his death. I do not think these words are of a man that did not love and did not truly consider himself lucky to have had the chance to be with her.

Finally whilst many may think there was not enough time for Hugh to have genuinely fallen in love with Demelza, remember they knew each other for a year and half and Graham wrote other stories in the books where characters in it fell in love with each other after just one of two meetings. That includes Verity and Captain Blamey and Drake and Morwenna. These were forever loves so we know that as an author Graham believed in such.

So a very long walk through my thoughts on this and that I find that Hugh and Elizabeth cannot be further apart in the question of which was unconvincing or uncertain in their love. In contrast it is hard to think of any loving expression or even compliment on Ross's character that Elizabeth ever made to him, let alone a very clear unquestionable without motive declaration of love.

#poldark #demelza poldark #winston graham #poldark quotes.#elizabeth poldark #elizabeth warleggan #poldark love #Hugh Armitage #Hughmelza

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