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easyrevenge · 3 years

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shinkami drabble

word count : 1.6k

ship: shinsou hitoshi / kaminari denki

rated: t

summary: denki has a crush on shinsou who works across the street at the second-hand music shop.

(ive never written shinkami before & i’ve been having writers block so i wrote this based on true events for warm-up.)

Kaminari is pretty sure he might die.

“You’re being so dramatic,” Mina tells him. And yeah, he is, but that hardly changes the fact that he’s starving. Not to death but it’s significant. He forgot to eat breakfast and wasn’t even on the schedule to work today. He’s just a good employee, and friend, or whatever. Denki thinks Mina could at least be a little more--”But, someone did leave their Café Luna bag behind about an hour ago. See what’s in it.”

Denki loves her. “Café Luna? That place is expensive!” And delicious, so he’s heard. The restaurant opened a few weeks ago down the block and since then the line has been wrapped around the corner.

He hurries to the back of their shop and rummages through the mini-refrigerator that definitely should have been cleaned out at least three weeks ago. Past some questionable yogurt cups, he finds what he’s looking for.

Denki only spends a solid five seconds debating the morality of the situation--is it rude to eat someone’s untouched food? What if they come back for it? But it’s a short-lived consideration, especially once he sees what’s inside; a small clear container with what a fancy as fuck sandwich—“It’s been an hour, surely they would have come back by now…” he reasons. Most importantly, as well as the deciding factor, “Oh hell yes!” A huge, insanely thick double chocolate chip cookie. “Sorry not sorry, loser.” Who the hell could leave any of this behind?

The sandwich is obliterated within minutes. Then Denki, because he is a good friend and model employee, brings the cookie back out to the front and offers some to Mina.

“You’re sweet, Denks,” she says, patting his shoulder. Then she laughs, “But it looks like you might cry if I say yes and you're forced to actually share.”

Denki really, really loves her.

He’s half-way through the cookie, propped up on the counter and munching away while Mina does all the clean up tasks that he’s excused from today for coming in. This is their usual slow hour anyway, not a customer in sight. Easy money.

“So, I forgot to tell you that your walking wet-dream came by earlier.”

Denki almost chokes on his cookie. “What! When? What was he wearing?”

Mina smiles as she wipes the counters down. “I was swamped so I didn’t get a good look. He was in and out pretty quick.”

Denki leans back against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment to revel in a quick day dream. One where he’s smooth and clever, manages to get his number, then maybe a date, a blow job, a boyfriend, a decent, regularly scheduled lay. He’d take that in any order, really.

Denki’s never actually talked to the guy but he does know his name is Shinsou thanks to a very tactful phone call by Mina. He works at the secondhand music store across the street and one morning while opening shop they made eye contact across the asphalt. Denki had been sweeping while the other was writing a music lesson schedule on a chalkboard menu. It was anticlimactic, lasting no more than three seconds, but Denki never stops thinking about it.

Shinsou is intimidating in the way that most pretty people are. He looks mean, disinterested. It pulls Denki in unquestionably, especially because he always smiles (full teeth) whenever he spots Shinsou through the window and rarely gets anything back except the highly coveted lifted eyebrow. Denki’s favorite thing about him is his eyes, dark and liquidy.

Denki also cares a lot about fashion and Shinsou’s clothes are the brand of cool that is obviously effortless, all black. His messy purple hair is usually pushed back with one of those cheap, zigzag plastic hair combs that were popular in the 90s.

Shinsou is aggressively hot, it’s almost offensive. Denki isn’t sure if he has a league but Shinsou is out of everyone’s.

“I can’t believe he actually came in. What did he order?”

Mina shrugs, “He just bought bottled water but he did spend a minute staring at your freaky art.”

“Oh my god,” Denki flushes pink with excitement and disbelief. He doesn’t exactly call himself an artist but he does fuck around a lot in his small studio and paint weird, neon colored, warped looking Pokémon-monster hybrids. Mina let’s him display them around her fruit shop because she’s a good friend.

A customer comes in and Denki continues to lounge on the counter, still daydreaming of purple hues and picking at the cookie while Mina makes a smoothie that has far too many vegetables.

“Hey Denks,” Mina says after the customer has left with their inevitable bowel movement in a cup. She sounds weird. He looks over and she’s smiling like the Cheshire Cat. He knows he’s fucked. “We’re best friends and I’m your boss, so you’re obligated to forgive me.”

Denki’s heart is squeezing tight and he stares wide eyed. “What did you do?”

Mina turns to look out through the front windows where Shinsou is currently looking left, then right, before doing a half-jog across the street. She hurriedly looks back at Denki, “I forgot to tell you the Café Luna bag was Shinsou’s and now it looks like he’s coming back for it and I’m going to go on my break now, bye.” She says the last part in one breath while the door opens and the little bell on top rings.

Shinsou walks in and all the air is pulled from Denki’s lungs.

Denki doesn’t have time to think, just react. He practically throws himself off the counter and—again, not thinking because who has time for that when someone that good-looking is walking your way—does the only thing he can think of to dispose of the evidence.

He shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth. It’s a big fucking cookie, even with only half of it left.

He never should have come into work today.

The chime of the door tinkers again when it closes and Denki knows he has about 3.5 seconds before Shinsou reaches the front counter. He chews vigorously, practically suffocating on cookie crumbs and chocolate chips, but it’s all just turned to paste in his mouth and there’s no hope.

Then, he starts to choke.

“Should I call emergency services or just let you die.” It hardly sounds like a question and if it is, Shinsou is asking himself.

Denki sputters, standing up from his half-crouch in an attempt to hold on to an ounce of his dignity. But it’s all lost when they make eye contact and Denki knows there’s nothing he can do, so he just holds up a finger to say hold on before spinning around and grabbing the small trash bin under the sink.

He spits the cookie mush into the bin, eyes watering while he coughs the dust out of his lungs, and prays that death comes swiftly in the next few seconds.

Denki hates Mina. So, so much.

Catching his breath, Denki leans forward over the sink and runs the water. He wonders if he should fill it up and drown himself but opts for rinsing his face instead. The eyes boring holes into his back are unrelenting and vicious. He turns around and regrets being born.

Shinsou is way too goddamn pretty. His eyes drink Denki in, full of judgement and unabashed intensity before blinking back into nonchalance. “He lives.”

Denki can’t help it, he laughs. It’s loud and a bit wet because he hasn’t wiped off his face. What a mess. “Unfortunately.”

Shinsou doesn’t allow for any awkward silences though, just moves the conversation forward with ease. Denki barely has time to feel embarrassed but he knows he’s blushing deeper with every millisecond that ticks by.

“I left my lunch here earlier, I think. A bag from Café Luna.”

Denki considers lying because surely that would be the easiest route. He attempts to wipe his face off with the inner elbow of his sweater, nervous. “Oh—uh, I don’t…”

Shinsou holds up a long, slender finger. Denki wonders what instruments he plays. Maybe he should sign up for one of his lessons, give himself a second-chance to make a good impression. Erase this one from existence.

He shakes his head, explaining, “You have chocolate smeared on your chin.” An obvious accusation. Denki is so fucked.

He sighs. “The cookie looked way too good, dude.” It feels good to confess, at least. “I’m sorry,” Denki apologizes, eyes downcast as he pulls at the hem of his sweater.

“Are you,” Shinsou replies and Denki wants to run out the door but then something happens. Shinsou laughs. It’s a quiet sound, breathy and warm and deep. Denki looks up and smiles brightly because wow, that sounds like music. “I don’t think you are.”

Denki catches something like a smile on the corner of Shinsou’s mouth and it gives him some of his confidence back. Just enough. “Yeaaaah,” he breathes, grinning sheepishly. “It was really tasty so maybe not that sorry.”

“Sorry you got caught.”

“Definitely.”

“A true criminal.” Shinsou nods, something like approval. Then he pulls out his phone to check the time. Denki is already disappointed this interaction is ever going to end, despite his embarrassment.

“I’ll have the sandwich back at least, I only have ten minutes left of my lunch break. I’m starving.”

No, yeah, Denki is going to fucking murder Mina. He’ll be an actual criminal.

Denki knows his silence is telling but there’s no cool way to talk himself out of this. Instead he puts on his best pouty smile and apologetic eyes. Shinsou looks so unimpressed until he doesn’t, just annoyed.

He clicks his tongue, sucking air through his teeth like a disappointed parent. “I’m off in three hours.”

Denki pulls a face. “Oh-kay.”

Shinsou looks like he wants to roll his eyes. Denki feels hot all over, degraded even though he hasn’t been called any names or chastised.

The silence makes Denki itchy so he breaks it with a fountain of apologies and offers to pay him back. “Do you have Venmo? Just charge me the cost! My username is 69Pika—”

“Please, stop.”

“Okay.”

Shinsou knocks his knuckles on the counter, looking him over once more before taking a few steps back. Another customer comes in and the bell tinkers twice, open, then close.

They watch each other for a moment.

“If you’re off in time, you’re buying dinner after my shift. I’ll meet you outside the shop.” Then Shinsou turns and leaves and Denki just smiles because what the fuck else was he supposed to do.

God, he loves Mina.

#shinkami #kamishin #denki x shinsou #bnha

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zwritestuff · 4 years

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Some Things Are Bound To Be (Chapter Three) - Kyara

A/N: Me? Actually updating regularly and not letting the months go by? Who would've thunk. This chapter actually took me a lot of erasing and deleting, and there are some scenes that didn’t make the cut, but I like the end result! Hope you guys do too :D This ended up being 4.5K, so it’s quite a treat. A million thanks to @fromthenorthernskies for screaming on the doc beta-ing this chapter!

AO3 Link!

Kyne would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy having lunch with Kiara; it was way too different from sharing a coffee and sweets in Kyne’s office in the middle of the day. Now they weren’t alone, and they had to lower their voices when they wanted to laugh loudly, but it was nice. She always has a good time when she’s with Kiara.

She learns that Kiara’s favorite color is purple, her favorite movie is Beetlejuice and one day she wants to have a pet chameleon so when she dresses it up, it changes its color to the one of the garment. Kyne tells her that’s something a privileged rich kid would say, but it oddly makes sense - and that if she ever does it, she expects to see a picture.

When it’s time to come back to the office, they walk through the streets with their shoulders bumping and their hands brushing ever so slightly, neither of them having the courage to grab the other’s hand. That’s until they cross a particularly busy street, and Kyne wraps her pinky around Kiara’s. To not lose her, she mumbles, not sure if she heard her. Their fingers stay intertwined even when they make the walk to Kyne’s office, closer than they should be in an empty hallway with space to spare.

They get a few stares, and Kyne feels her free hand twitch. She tries to brush it off and focus on what Kiara is telling her instead. She’s talking about the ball, and how they will go about dress shopping on Friday.

“If you drag me to go shopping before I’ve had a shower, I’m breaking up with you,” Kyne says, coming to a stop in front of the door of her office, letting go of Kiara’s finger. Kyne could swear she saw Kiara look disappointed for a brief moment, but if it happened she doesn’t bring it up. Why would she, anyway?

Kiara laughs shortly, and dismisses it with a wave of her hand. “I’ll pick you up from your place after you get a shower, then we go shopping. That sounds okay?” She asks gently, clasping her hands behind her back. Kyne has noticed she does that a lot when she talks to her. Not that she thinks much about it, or Kiara for that matter.

“Sounds fine to me,” she agrees, smiling with satisfaction. Kiara smiles back, saying she should get back to her office, promising to text her later. Kyne furrows her brow at that, only the slightest bit concerned. “You still haven’t told me how you got my number, y’know. It’s kinda creepy,” she says before Kiara can bid her goodbye.

“If you think about it, I have everyone’s phone numbers at my disposal. Whether I decide to make use of them or not, that’s up to me.” Kiara shrugs, Kyne stares at her for a moment. She hadn’t thought about that.

“You know, sometimes I forget one day you’ll inherit this whole thing,” Kyne comments. It’s not a lie though. She has never met someone as powerful as Kiara that just decided to hang out with her employees instead of all the other powerful people. Sometimes Kyne forgets she could fire her if she got on her nerves, and treats her like she’d treat an old friend.

It seems to work in her favour, though; her friends always ask her how she had struck a friendship with none other than Kiara, the infamous heir of the company that never cracked a smile. Kyne was always skeptical of that - whenever she hung out with her, Kiara was nothing but a giggling mess, not the stoic person her friends, and everyone else apparently, made her to be.

Perhaps she was the only person with the privilege of being able to make Kiara laugh. She wouldn’t mind that in the slightest.

Kiara just stares at her with an amused smile, and Kyne proceeds to explain herself after a moment. “You steal the cupcakes you bring me and always ask me if I have a spare charger, when you have the money to buy an entire cupcake shop and a thousand chargers if you want to,” she explains with a grin, and Kiara laughs wholeheartedly, the slightest hint of a blush appearing on her cheeks.

She’s decided her new favorite thing is making Kiara laugh, not only because it seems she’s one of the few people able to make her smile, but also because she throws her head back, scrunches up her nose and drops the invisible weight from her shoulders. It suits her a lot better.

“Stolen cupcakes are the best cupcakes,” Kiara jokes with a complicit smile. Kyne chuckles, rolling her eyes. “I gotta go for real now, but have a good rest of your day.” She smiles, waving at her, and Kyne waves back.

“Have a good day, and don’t fire anyone!” She jokingly exclaims, entering in her office.

She’s barely settling down in her chair, wondering when Kiara would text her, when Priyanka, Bo, and Scarlett enter without knocking and Kyne sinks in her chair when they all give her curious looks.

In the grand scheme of things, Kyne hadn’t considered the fact that her friends were all but trying to get her to ask Kiara out and scam her to get her money, only for Kyne to always shut them down by saying they’re just casual friends - they said it so often she swore it wasn’t a joke anymore.

They have questions, questions that Kyne isn’t prepared for answering, because she never really asked Kiara if she could tell her friends that this is fake - though she supposses she can’t, if the conversation they previously had means anything.

“Oh, there’s nothing going on between me and Kiara, you guys are just imagining things!” Scarlett mocks, mimicking her voice. Kyne groans, sinking into her chair and covering her face with her hands. “So you lied to our face this whole time? You bitch,” they complain, folding their arms.

“Normally I don’t agree with Scarlett, except now,” Boa pipes up, “Bitch,” she echoes, and Kyne swears she’ll snap her optic nerve by the strength she rolled her eyes with.

“Would you guys let me explain?” She exclaims in frustration. “There should be a category in the Olympics for jumping into conclusions, you all would excel at it,” Kyne comments, cocking a brow.

Priyanka takes a seat in the free chair on the other side of the desk, looking solemnly at her. “Firstly, you know I would. Second, go right ahead, then. Explain,” Priyanka says, cocking a brow in her direction. Kyne looks at her friends, and they all have the same stern, confused look. Shit.

She bites the inside of her cheek, thinking of something to say that’s convincing enough to appease her friends. She knows lying isn’t good, but if she already messed herself up in a lie of gigantic proportions, what would another little white lie do?

“It’s not like I’m dating Kiara, per se,” she begins, “We’re just getting to know each other.” The skeptical looks don’t vanish from her friends’ faces, and Kyne fidgets with her hands under her desk before dropping the bomb. “And she’s bringing me to a charity ball on Saturday,” she muses, speaking fast enough to make her words almost unintelligible. She purposely leaves out the part about meeting Kiara’s parents, because her brain might be good with numbers, but not with coming up with lies on the spot.

“Excuse me, what?” Bo says, furrowing her brow. “Did you just say she invited you to the Starzy Charity Ball?” She asks, eliciting an over the top gasp from Scarlett and Priyanka. Kyne cocks a brow, is this ball of common knowledge? Maybe they weren’t lying when they said the company could be shutting down and Kyne wouldn’t know.

“When did your hoe ass land a date with Kiara Schatzi and an invitation to the Starzy Ball?” Priyanka inquires, sounding as confused as she looks. Kyne would laugh at their collective reaction if she didn’t feel the slightest bit annoyed.

“I am very charming when I want to, thank you very much,” she replies, matter-of-factly, with a shit-eating grin.

Scarlett perches themself against the desk, folding their arms with a childish pout. “So you’re telling us you’ll be at a ball full of rich people, and you still won’t consider my magnificent plan of scamming some of them, running away and not work a day of our lives again?” They dramatize, bringing a hand to their chest.

Kyne snorts, quickly laughing along with her friends. Of course Scarlett takes every opportunity they get to talk about their “millionaire plan” as if it was that easy. At this point, Kyne just brushes it off as an in-joke.

They stay at her office a little longer than they should, trying to get all the details out of Kyne, but she keeps her answers short and concise, not giving much away - though there’s not much to say, really, and she’s not particularly good at lying, especially to her friends. Especially to Priyanka. Kyne swears she can smell the bullshit even before it comes out.

She’s surprised when Priyanka seems to believe her; out of the three of them, Kyne suspected she would be the one to pick up on the plot holes in her story. But she has yet to look suspicious, so she tries not to worry about it.

They finally leave her office when they notice the time and that they should be back to work, but they make it very clear that they want every detail possible about the ball, and that she’s not going to escape their query once Sunday arrives.

“How do y’all know I’m not going to be with Kiara on Sunday too?” Kyne challenges playfully, earning a screech from her friends. She has no idea where that came from, and almost right away she regrets it.

“Damn, you had lunch once and you already wanna climb on her?” Scarlett teases, making Kyne blush on the spot. She tries to stammer out an answer, but before she can they’re biding her goodbye and leaving the office.

The door is shut closed again, and Kyne groans, rubbing her eyelids. Well, that didn’t go as bad as planned, but it certainly didn’t go as smoothly as she would’ve wanted. She hopes and prays that the last line doesn’t find it’s way to Kiara’s knowledge.

Speaking of which, she hears the text alert go off in her phone, and when she goes to check, she bites back a smile when she reads it and sees it’s from Kiara.

***

Friday comes before Kyne can even notice it, and when she arrives at work that day, she feels her hands twitch every so often at the thought of going shopping with Kiara once work is over. They had exchanged a few texts here and there over the past two days, agreeing on an hour and talking about their boundaries when it came to money - though that was more Kyne's doing than Kiara’s.

It's one thing to let Kiara buy her a coffee or a cupcake; it's not that big of a deal, and something she can repay easily. But letting Kiara buy her a dress that costs about the same as her rent is a completely different thing, and she made sure to voice her concern to her to avoid any misunderstanding. Kiara had understood, but she said that, in the slight case a dress caught Kyne's eye and it happened to be expensive, it wouldn't bother her to buy it.

If anything, it's the least I can do to thank you, honey, she had texted her, and the pet name had left Kyne speechless for a couple moments. She had no idea how to answer it, so she just left it at that. Though she thinks about it more than she should.

She's chewing on a pen, reading a report they had sent her with a request to calculate the budget for a new hotel the company was building in partnership with some other rich people. Exciting stuff to do on a Friday morning, basically. There's a knock on the door, and she tells whoever it is to come in. She doesn't even need to look up to know it's Kiara.

A cupcake is settled in front of her, and she smiles when she looks up and finds Kiara staring right back at her.

“Good morning,” she says, sitting in front of her and taking a sip from a Starbucks foam cup. Kyne bids her good morning too, and takes a bite from her cupcake. “Ready for today?” Kiara asks, with a playful gleam in her eyes. Kyne bites the inside of her cheek, fidgeting with her hands.

“I have a feeling that I should be worried,” she comments, chuckling nervously. Kiara laughs shortly, dismissing her with a wave of her hand.

“Don't be, this will be fun! I'm positive about that, it won't be that different from going shopping with a friend or by yourself,” Kiara assures her, but Kyne isn't sure if she should mention that she mostly shops at thrift stores and modifies the clothes she buys by herself, while Kiara probably spends hundreds in one item of clothing.

She keeps her mouth shut, and smiles gently at her instead. "I'll take your word for it, then." Kiara sets the foam cup on the desk, and claps excitedly.

“So, I think we haven't talked about tomorrow, and how we'll get ready together, or if we will get ready together for that matter--”

“Wait, what?” Kyne interrupts her, furrowing her brow. Kiara tells her that she had thought about bringing her to her apartment to do their hair and make-up together before the ball. Kyne plasters a smile on her face, but on the inside, there's a ball of nerves forming in her throat that keeps her from speaking.

It starts to dawn on her that, tomorrow, she'll know yet another face of Kiara at the ball, and she'll have to act accordingly to it. She'll have to hang from her arm like arm candy, talk to people that could buy her entire apartment complex without batting an eye, and actually meet Kiara's parents, whom she had only seen briefly in the hallways and never dared to look in the eye.

Maybe this was a hell of a bad idea disguised at just being not that bad.

She remains silent for a minute too long, and Kiara senses that something is off; she leans forward, looking at her with a tinge of worriedness, and asks her what's wrong. Everything, Kyne wants to answer, but she doesn't find the courage to vocalize her thoughts — besides, she knows it’s too late to back down, and she doesn’t want to let Kiara down.

So she swallows her fears, clears her throat and tries to lie as best as she can.

“I’m kinda intimidated at the thought of meeting your parents,” she says, which isn’t technically a lie, but it isn’t all of the truth either. Kiara’s expression softens up, and she goes out her way to assure her that meeting her parents won’t be as bad as she thinks, that they’re actually great people. But the only thing that flashes through Kyne’s mind is how fast she will be fired once they fake their break up and her boss is mad at her for breaking his daughter’s heart.

Kiara is talking, she sees her lips moving, but the words don’t reach her ears. Kyne takes a deep breath, and tries to concentrate on what she’s saying.

“Besides, you’re already pretty, it shouldn’t take you too long to get your makeup done, right?” She says, giving her a sly wink. Kyne blinks repeatedly before blushing — well, that’s what she gets for zoning out.

Kyne tries to shut down all the negative thoughts, and gives Kiara a genuine smile. Or as genuine as she can.

“I can try to paint fast, I guess,” she offers, biting the inside of her cheek, hoping Kiara hadn’t noticed she wasn’t paying her attention.

Kiara smiles, the conversation goes on and Kyne tries her best to not let her anxiety eat her up, which is easier said than done.

***

It turns out that going shopping with Kiara is fun, despite the initial awkwardness when she had picked Kyne up and neither knew what to say to break the ice. It oddly felt like a blind date, in which you have no idea how your date even looks like, but that wasn’t exactly their case. So after some moments of uncomfortable silence, Kyne had asked Kiara if she had started How To Get Away With Murder like she promised she would do, and the conversation just flowed naturally.

Kiara takes her to the fancy side of the mall, with stores with prices so expensive Kyne and her friends could never afford, so they took pictures of the garments on display and then commissioned Kyne to recreate them for much cheaper. She drags her through three different stores in the span of an hour, searching all over for something that Kyne likes and agrees on the price of - the later was harder than they had imagined. Kyne doesn’t need her degree in math to know that their concept of cheap isn’t the same.

Their hunt in store number three isn’t successful, even though Kiara insisted she tried on a red mermaid gown on sale that would look beautiful on her - which it did, but it was too tight for Kyne’s liking, and it didn’t come in any other size.

“You know, you could buy me some nice fabric and I could wipe out a whole dress overnight. I did that for my high school prom,” Kyne comments as they’re leaving the store, and Kiara cocks a brow, amused.

“Wait, for real? I didn’t know you could sew,” she says, signaling Kyne to keep walking forward. Their hands brush again, just like on Wednesday after lunch, and Kyne wants to reach for Kiara’s hand and squeeze it tight so she doesn’t lose her in the crowd. But she desists from it.

“Yeah, my Lola taught me new things every time I visited over the summer when I was a kid. She says I came out just like her, because my mom can’t even thread a needle,” she tells her with a giggle, remembering all the summers she spent sitting next to her Lola, watching her sew beautiful garments, rummaging through her sewing room and imagining she was an important designer.

Kiara snorts, grinning from ear to ear. “Now I kinda want to see what you could come up with if I bought you fancy fabrics,” she tentatively says, hiding her hands in the pockets of her jacket. Kyne wraps her arm around her bicep, pulling out her phone and scrolling through her gallery for a particular photo.

“If I pulled this in one night out from some fabrics I had in my house, I’m pretty sure I can come up with something for tomorrow.” She shows her a photo of her when she was eighteen, after she finished doing her makeup and was getting ready to go to prom with her friends - looking back, there are a ton of things wrong, except the golden floor length dress hugging her frame.

“You look so tiny,” is the first thing Kiara says, and Kyne pinches her arm out of reflex, sarcastically thanking her for the compliment on her dress. “Your dress is stunning, but I guess you already know that.” She gives her a playful smile, suddenly coming to a stop. “You know what? I have a new idea.”

“Oh god, not another one,” Kyne dramatizes, and Kiara pinches her back.

“This one is actually good!” She protests, and Kyne tells her to go ahead. “I need to know if you can sew another dress overnight, though.” Kiara’s tone grows high pitched, and Kyne puts two and two together rather easily, though she’s a bit confused.

“Either you wanna take me up on the fabric offer, or you want me to make you a gown for tomorrow,” Kyne says tentatively, cocking a brow. Doesn’t Kiara already have a dress? And why would she want Kyne to make her one, when she can perfectly buy some fancy dress for herself?

Kiara insists on her question, asking her to just answer with a yes or no, and Kyne says it depends on the design; it’s not something she can do if the design is something massive and opulent, like she probably wants.

She pulls out her phone with a big smile, quickly opening Pinterest and showing Kyne one of her boards. “My mom actually wanted me to get something very extra, but I said ‘mom, I’m an adult now, I can wear whatever I want!’. But in the end, I forgot to buy a dress altogether,” Kiara confesses sheepishly, but Kyne is too concentrated on the board.

She sees a lot of vibrant colors that would go well in Kiara, and she tries to imagine how long it would take her to create any of those rather intricate designs. Surely more than one day and a half, she thinks - then, one design in particular catches her eye; it’s a floor length dress with a small cut on the left leg, the top half being off the shoulder. It’s fancy enough, easy to make, and it would look great on Kiara.

“I have a royal blue fabric that would go really well with this design,” Kyne comments absent-mindedly, looking back and forth between the photo and Kiara. “It’s expensive fabric though, so I expect nothing short of a royal dress in exchange,” she jokingly says, but Kiara takes it to heart.

“Let's go then, your majesty, we have some shopping to do.” She tugs at her arm to keep walking, with a playful smile on her face. Kyne tries to ignore the fact their arms are still linked, and that Kiara strokes the back of her arm with her thumb ever so slightly.

It takes her two more stores to find a dress that Kyne actually likes and has no complaints about; it’s a deep shade of green, floor length, with a deep cleavage and some delicate embroidery details all over it. Kyne almost rejects it despite absolutely adoring it, all because of the price - Kiara just swipes her credit card before Kyne changes her mind.

The bag feels heavy in her hands, and there’s a tinge of worry in the back of her mind. What if she wastes her and Kiara’s time, and she ends up not liking the dress she makes? She’d be absolutely mortified, not only because she already cost her five hundred dollars, but because she’d hate to let Kiara down.

Her train of thought is interrupted by Kiara asking her if she wants to have ice cream before they leave. Kyne accepts, smiling gently, trying to push her worries to the back of her mind.

***

Admittedly, it's been a long time since Kyne brought anyone outside her friend circle and family to her apartment. It's not as messy as it is most days, and she'd like to think it's cozy enough, with all the pictures scattered around and the potted plants on the windows to make up for the small space. Kiara says something about not knowing she had a green thumb, while she takes off her shoes and leaves them at the entrance, despite Kyne's insistence that it's not really necessary if she doesn't want to.

Having her around feels weird, especially because just a week before all they knew about each other was compressed to the type of coffee they liked and how much they hated corporative meetings. She eases up once Kiara leaves her jacket on the coat rack, loosens up the buttons of her shirt and her hair, flopping onto the couch and asking with a child-like excitement when will they start.

“I need to take your measurements first,” she says, rummaging through her drawers for her measuring tape. Kiara practically jumps off the couch, bouncing with excitement.

“I can't wait to get a custom made dress from Miss Kyne Aguilar herself,” she teases lightheartedly, and Kyne coos.

“Don't get your hopes up,” she deadpans, getting a giggle in response.

Kyne tries to ignore the annoying way her heart beats so fast when Kiara laughs, and she makes her stand very still while she takes her measurements, but she feels Kiara’s eyes following her throughout the whole process. She swallows thickly when she brings the measuring tape up to her hips, writing down her measurements faster than she ever did, trying to ignore the heat creeping up at the back of her neck - though it’s almost impossible to ignore when she places the tape over Kiara’s chest, and now she’s sure her stare is glued on her.

“This should be quick,” Kyne muses, once she’s finished with the measurements, breathing out a sigh of relief when she walks to her cabinet full of her sewing equipment, pulling out basic molds for the top part.

“You know, if you actually can do this, I’m going to be really impressed,” Kiara says, settling on Kyne’s couch again and tucking her legs under her body. Kyne cocks a brow at her, setting up her things at the coffee table.

“I take payment in cash, not surprise,” she deadpans, eliciting a faux offended yelp from Kiara. She giggles after a moment, spreading out the fabric and fetching for chalk in her pencil case to trace the initial patterns. “It shouldn’t be that hard, y’know? Your design is very standard, I thought you’d want something more, I don’t know, fancy.” She steals a glance at Kiara, who cocks a brow and shifts on the couch, dismissing it with a wave of her hand.

“I’m not a big fan of those big, opulent dresses, honestly. I prefer comfort above everything - ‘sides, I'm pretty sure I'd look like a clown,” Kiara comments, watching with interest as Kyne fumbles with the fabric, making sure it's perfectly symmetrical.

Kyne pauses to meet Kiara's gaze. “I mean, have you seen yourself? You wouldn't look bad even if you wore a sack of potatoes,” she says earnestly, and she's not sure where did the courage to say that came from, but the smile that breaks in Kiara's face makes Kyne's stomach twist again.

“Coming from the woman that can pull off every color under the sun, that's a very high compliment,” Kiara compliments back, causing Kyne to blush slightly and dismiss her with a wave of her hand.

The next hours pass in a blur of cutting and sewing fabric, making sure she wasn't pinching Kiara with the pins, and Kyne's heart beating so fast it may come out of her ribcage whenever Kiara's laugh echoes through the apartment.

#rpdr fanfiction #my fanfiction #some things are bound to be fic #fake dating au #kiara schatzi #kyne #online kyne #scarlett bobo #boa #priyanka love #kyara

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razorblade180 · 4 years

Text

Code Black

[Lasting Embers Au] [Warning, it’s dark]

Atlas, three o’clock in the morning. A lone airship soars across the barren tundra to an unmarked Atlas warehouse that had been abandoned for years, until recently that is. Inside, Sienna sat in silence with a deep seeded anxiety that went to her bones deeper than the frigid cold that made its way through the cockpit.

Today was mission 0, final exam day. Every recruit for The Shadows has to take it before actually making it in. They took it one at a time and weren't allowed to speak about it. Not that mattered since each test tailored to the recruit, but none of them were aware of that fact. Everything was so bizarre and mysterious more than usual, even the close. Sienna was in specialized gear for the first time today. A black form fitting bodysuit covered by white military style cargo pants, and turtleneck that would be disposed of once she got out of the snow. Sienna put on her black leather gloves and picked up her very own Shadows mask, which was simply a full face White Fang mask that was painted completely black with specks of grayish white to match her ears. She even had a change of shoes in her duffel bag once the snow boots served their purpose. The bag also housed extra ammunition for her party as well as her chain for the time being. This was a standard op it seems. This was…

xxxx

“A code black, what is that?” Sienna said to Adam in his office, clearly confused by the code. Normal recruits weren’t allowed in the office since only actual members and a few others knew he was alive, but Adam raised her so there wasn’t a real reason for her not to ask directly.

“Yes,” he said. Adam stood up and moved in front of his desk and sat on the edge with his legs stretched out. He found it a little funny how his daughter stood in front of him at attention. “You know it’s just the two of us, relax.”

Sienna shoulders dropped immediately. “Sorry, I was practicing for when we’re in public. It would cause trouble if the others suspected something.”

They already know but I’m glad she’s thinking ahead. “Did they go over the different color codes for recruits by any chance?”

Sienna stood up straight and cleared her throat. “Every mission for The Shadows is given a specific color depending on what kind of operation it is, that way members can have an idea of what’s entail and if they think they are qualified.”

“Did...was that in a handbook or something? Since when do you use words like entail?”

Sienna let out a sigh as she stared at her feet. “Ilia is a very strict instructor.”

Adam immediately felt her pain. Even in the old days, Ilia was always the kind of person to cross her t’s and dot her i’s when it came to just about anything.

“I guess that means you could name a few of those codes.”

“Oh of course!” Sienna perked up immediately. She loved flaunting her knowledge “Red is assassination, white is deep undercover, green is theft, gray tends to be more head to head confrontation, pink is torture…” that last one always creeped her out. “I could name a few more if you like?”

“No you’ve proven your point. I gotta remember to thank Ilia. Teaching was never really my strong suit.” Adam started thinking about how he tried teaching Sienna and Jael to swim. Jacquelyn might’ve actually killed him that day. He still thinks floaties are for the weak. Just dive right in!

Sienna got a little bit more comfortable and decided to sit on his desk next to him. “I’ve memorized almost all the codes and I’m positive I never saw black. Could she have forgotten it?”

Adam turned his body to his daughter. Suddenly everything felt like it had gotten more serious, even the air. “No, Ilia probably didn’t think it mattered since they’re rare. Code black, erasure.”

Sienna’s body went cold. “E-Erasure? As in no evidence, or witnesses?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Adam rubbed his hand through his hair. “When it comes to the codes, all the other ones deal with small groups or even a single person that’s typically a key player or just beginning to cause trouble, so completing those missions usually puts whatever plan they had to a complete stop.”

“Like taking a gear out of a machine. Each mission takes a gear out and it gets too complicated to get new pieces.”

“Hey that’s a pretty good way of thinking about it.” Adam smiled. He’d have to remember that analogy.

“So what makes code black different from the rest?”

“Well following your logic, let’s say the other missions were machines that were being built. Many different things are in the progress of creating it and nothing is finalized, there’s not a true system to mass produce the machine. Black codes are for situations where the machine is already up and running. You can take a part out but it will be replaced eventually. So you break the machine along with the factory, with all the workers inside. As well as the inventors.”

“Oh…” was all Sienna could say to that. She could tell he wasn’t just talking about the grunts. If you want a machine to not be built, then even people who know if the idea has to go. “So, can I get specifics?”

“To put it briefly, a terrorist group's main base has been discovered. They’ve been doing things for a while now and with efficiency to boot. They’re incredibly dangerous and though we’ve dwindled their numbers, there’s still a lot of them. People keep joining their ranks which is the very reason we know all about them now. A recruiter slipped up and we got information. Down to the letter. They’re regrouping in two days.”

“So my final exam is to go to the base and…let it all fade to memory, erase it from history.”

“Mass murder, a slaughter.” Adam said it out right, like ripping off a bandaid. Sienna looked down at her hands and clenched them tightly. He had a pretty good idea what was going through her head. Seconds past before she looked back at him with a will that refused to break.

“What else do I need to know.” The anxiousness in her voice was being pushed back with all her strength. She knew what this job was about. Turning back was not an option. It was never an option.

“Code blacks are only carried out by the absolute best here, all of them. With the exception of me this time because it’s a test. I don’t trust myself to not baby you.”

At least he was honest about it.* Sienna honestly wished he was going but yeah, it would totally be cheating. Well, possibly. What she was being graded on was a mystery to her.

“Wait...” she replayed what he told her. “The absolute best? Do you mean-”

Adam put his hand on her head and rubbed it. “Yep. Just follow their lead and you’ll be fine. Do your best Sienna.”

xxxx

Turbulence hit the airship and the mask slipped out of her hands. Right before it hit the ground, Mercury’s foot hooked the inside of it and he sent it back up into her hands. “Careful, can’t have that breaking on us.”

Emerald sat right next to him and hit him lightly on the head. “If that’s your worry then maybe don’t use your feet?” She said, deadpanned. She might’ve hit him again if Neo didn’t turn around from steering and motioned towards their clearly one edge recruit.

Neo didn’t even have to speak for them to know she wanted them to do something. Mercury gave Emerald a look and shrugged his shoulders.

“Got any ideas?” He whispered.

Emerald shrugged back. “Maybe what Nora does for Tenzen? That calms his nerves.

Mercury thought about it for a minute then nodded. Sienna had completely zoned out, caught up in her mind when the feeling of Mercury’s hand ruffling her hair shocked her out of it.

“What the!? Hey!”

Mercury smiled. “There, now you can worry about your hair instead of anything else.” He watched the girl fix her pixie cut while giving him a pouty look that hid a small smile.

“That was so dumb” Sienna muttered. “Thanks.”

Mercury gave her a thumbs up then sat back down next to his wife. He peeked over at Neo who also gave him a thumbs up. So far so good. Missions could get tense so it was important to stay loose.

The ride continued for another twenty minutes before the ship finally landed. Sienna didn’t say anything but had decided it was best to mimic some of their movements. Checking shoes, stretching, putting on the mask; no way was she going to look like a complete noob. Though she did almost gasp from shock when she all three entirely suited up. There was something really cool about the only differences was the speckled pattern on the masks. She hadn’t seen herself in a mirror so she wondered if she looked just as intense.

Mercury opened up the door,letting in a rush a cold air that snapped Sienna into focusing. One by one they hopped out into the tundra. There was nothing but snow for miles, except for a cliff in the distance. Not extremely far, but far enough for Sienna to ask the dreadful question.

“We’re heading to the cliff by foot, aren’t we?” She really didn’t want to complain but the idea of it was really making her consider failing. Neo laughed at the girl though.

“I don’t need to see your face right now to know what you’re thinking. As entertaining as it would be to say yes, I need you in high spirits. That cliff is our destination, however….” Neo pulled out her scroll and started texting. “We’re on a tight schedule so we’re gonna cut a corner or two.”

A red portal opened up in front of her. Mercury and Emerald walked through immediately while Neo grabbed Sienna’s hand then led her through. Red and black consumed everything before she saw white again. They were on the cliff, just like that!

Sienna turned around to see the portal closing. Before it did, she caught a glimpse of a figure in red and black. It was easy to see that they were a woman by their outfit but Sienna couldn’t think of one person from what little details she saw. The hair did remind her of the blonde woman she met once. Yang was it? She couldn’t remember. Sienna turned back around to see an extra person she did recognize. Ilia was on her stomach at the edge of the cliff and looking through the scope of a sniper rifle. She was geared up like everyone else and seemed to have been here for quite awhile. Her hair had changed white but Sienna could see plenty of snow in it. Sienna walked over to her and went into a prone position as well.

Down below was the abandoned base. It looked like a base and more of a Frankenstein’s monster. The structure had looked part warehouse and part oil rig with how many pipes and beams there were, not to mention the size. The building was pretty huge from this far away but that made sense. There’s supposed to be a lot of these terrorists here. If it wasn’t for the wind then she could probably hear most of them. A good thing to keep in mind for later.

“See anything?” Sienna asked.

Ilia perked her head up and looked at the girl confused? “Wait, this is your test?”

Now Sienna’s face matched Ilia’s. “Dad didn’t tell you?”

“No, he just said this mission was extra special. Now I see why. Did the flight here agree with you?”

“Yes ma’am, I’m ready” her voice held a certain apathy to it that Ilia noticed right away. She gave Sienna some binoculars and turned her head towards some large busted pipes.

“See that? That is an old pipeline that was used for transporting dust. This base should still have plenty inside and even residue all up through it.”

“So… we’re blowing this place up?”

Ilia nodded. “That’s half right. They’re big enough for someone to go through without much of a problem. No doubt they lead somewhere inside.” Ilia takes the binoculars back. “That’s where you’re going.”

“I see…” Sienna bit her lip. If I understand this right, I’m taking out people from inside, I assume Neo disguises herself and goes through the front door, you’re picking off anyone who tries escaping if things get loud…” she turned to look at Em and Mercury. “I guess one of you goes for the higher up places?”

Emerald almost wanted to clap. “ Not half bad with these guesses, any rhyme to your reason?”

“It’s not like I don’t know what you all are particularly good at. That being said, Mercury, what are you doing?”

“Hmm what do you think I should do?” He cracked his knuckles. “If you were running this op, what would be your orders?”

Gears in her head were turning. There was a high chance that this was the test portion and the others would compensate accordingly. They were pros so no doubt they could actually fill any role. She however could not. Sienna knew she was bound to make a mistake. A slip up that might make things more challenging in the long run. Sienna needed a safety net.

“You’re with Mercury. If I’m going right into the lion's den then I might need help when things eventually get loud.”

“Roger that. Consider me your extra muscle.”

Glad to know my lessons got through to her. Ilia thought to herself. She looked back at everyone, they were all ready.

“What are y’all standing around here for? You heard the lady. Remember to keep calm and take off the snow camouflage when you’re inside. There could be hundreds in there and I’d like to do this quietly for as long as possible. It’ll make my life easier. Sienna, would you like to do the honors?”

Sienna nodded, “Let the operation begin.”

xxxx

“This operation stinks.” Sienna said while holding her breath in. These old pipes were disgusting! Her and Mercury must’ve been traveling down them for at least ten minutes. Both were now in black and besides from Mercury’s hair, it was pretty damn hard to spot him. Sienna was confident in her decision.

“Yeah stealth tends to have the smellier routes. They typically put us in sweet spots though.” Finally they reach an exit point in the form of a vent opening on the ground. Sienna looked down and spotted crates of old dust. The lights were dim and she could faintly here one, no, two people.

“Two people, far end of the room. They sound like two guys,older guys.” She whispered.

“One for you and one for me then. You ready?”

Sienna ignored the smell and took a deep breath to calm the last bit of her nerves and removed the vent. Mercury saw her ears fold down.

“Word of advice, it helps if you make it brief. For you and-”

“I’ve killed before Mercury.” She briefly takes off her mask to let him see her blank expression. Her eyes almost looked devoid of anything. Almost like a broken doll. Sienna put her mask back on. “Let’s get started.”

Sienna hopped down and immediately rolled behind the crates. Mercury followed suit. They poked their heads over them to see two people with rifles simply chatting. It would appear Sienna and Mercury had entered through the basement and the guards were meant to keep people from getting inside this room. Too bad for them. Sienna pulled out and looked at Mercury. He gave her nod and held up fingers, then two, and finally one. He dropped the last finger and they immediately vaulted over the crates, kicking off the edge of it to propel themselves right out the guards. The one on the left didn’t even register the blade gliding across his throat while the one on the right found himself trying to breathe desperately as his neck was in a deadly choke hold. In seconds they were both gone, two down. Sienna looked down at the body for a second before picking it carefully and placing it behind the crate. Mercury grabbed his duffel bag and pulled out a timed bomb that would blow in forty minutes.

“Shouldn’t take us this long to wrap this all up but it gives us wiggle room.”

“I can hear twenty more right above us, then another thirty above them. Anything above that is too muffled to tell.”

“Interesting, grab your chain. We’re gonna get creative.”

xxxx

Ilia watched the outside carefully. She can see Emerald taking down terrorists on the roof and Neo was visible a few minutes ago through a window. She was wearing her favorite disguise. The one with green eyes and black hair. “ She should really switch things up sometimes.” Illia thought aloud. Ilia kept watching. Twenty minutes had passed.

I wonder if Sienna is holding up? Mercury won’t baby her but I hope he shows some kind of compassion. That girl, she’s…

Ilia couldn’t help but think of Sienna’s eyes when they first met. The coldness, the complete lack of light they had. Sienna was in many ways still that girl. No matter how much love Adam and Jacquelyn has given her. That’s why Adam must’ve chosen this code for her. He knew Sienna had to traverse her demons, not block them off. Even if he hated the idea of it.

“Anyone got any info for me?” Ilia said, pressing a button on her earpiece.

“Top floor has forty, the main floor has about sixty.” Emerald responded. “What about you Neo?”

“I’m on the main floor. From what I can see there’s no one here huntsman grade. I doubt these people have aura honestly which makes sense. They keep trying to replenish troops because of us so guns are all they really got. Anyone know what the leader looks like?”

“All I know is that they’re a woman.” Emerald scanned the area. “Which means nothing without any features. Mercury, you and Sienna make it inside?”

There was no response. “Mercury?” Emerald said again but still didn’t get an answer. “Could they be held up?”

“Well we at least know they haven’t been made. Everyone would’ve been alerted if they had.” Neo looked along the worn down walls and followed the trail of pipes with her eyes. “ Want me to go look for them?”

Ilia bit her lip and looked at her scroll. Their aura was still full. “Don’t poke around too much. They should be-”

“Basement is full of live ammo, the floor above has seventeen, and the one above has thirty. The woman in charge has red eyes? White hair, and in a yellow suit.” Mercury said, abruptly. Ilia started looking through the windows of each floor she could until a woman with that description briefly passed by the top floor.

“Second floor, right side of the wall.”

Neo looked up and spotted the middle aged woman. What really caught her eye was the five people in black tuxes that made to stay several feet away, but close enough to keep an eye on things. Three of the five were also women who looked almost as stone cold as Cinder was. The two looked like loads of fun as well.

“She has five bodyguards, and I’ll bet my favorite hat they are huntsman level, or military trained at the very least. If this woman called this whole group here then she’ll probably make a speech. Could be a good opportunity to take her down.”

“That aside, Mercury, why did it take you so long to answer? Ilia asked.

xxxx

Mercury took a moment before responding. He stared at his that were thankfully covered by his gloves to avoid blood stains and evidence. He then looked at two more dead bodies that had piled with the first two. “I was trying to get some answers.” He finally answered.

“And where’s Sienna?”

“Sienna….Sienna is the one who got the info.” He said, with a bit of shock. No one said anything after that for several seconds, until Ilia spoke again.

“Do I even wanna know?” A bit of concern was in her voice.

Mercury looked towards the middle of the room to see their third victim on top of one of the crates, his toes barely scraping the top of it. The only thing stopping the man from screaming is the chain around their neck that was thrown over a support beam and being held tightly by Sienna.

“No, just know it’s handled. Say I was thinking we might need to speed things along, and I’m not just saying that because the time on the bomb has about half the time on it. Probably should’ve made it remote detonate.” He said, looking at the bomb options.

Sienna finally let the body drop now that it had expired. She made no attempt to hide her displeasure in doing torture, her hand clenching her stomach out of obvious disgust. It was one of the few things that truly ate away at her. “The only reason Mercury and I haven’t sent off anyone is because they know better than to shoot in a highly explosive room.”

Mercury walked over to her and rubbed her back. Suddenly she felt a lot less nauseous. He couldn’t see her gentle smile, the wiggle of her ears said thank you on their own. “Sooner or later they’re gonna realize five people are missing, and get suspicious.”

“The point of a code black mission is erasure right? You also said it’ll eventually get loud. May I suggest something?” Sienna asked.

“It’s your test squirt.” Neo replied.

“Let’s just blow everything up now. The explosion will at least get the floor below us, but this place doesn’t look too stable. Won’t the cold kill any stragglers trying to escape? Picking them off wouldn’t be too hard and if Neo or Em can kill the boss in the middle of the chaos then we’re on the up and up. I know it’s risky, not to mention completely chaotic…”

Sienna looked out the basement entrance and could see dozens of feet and shadows constantly moving. “But there’s just so many of them. They need to panic.”

Ilia looked around the building and saw several airships. Maybe, just maybe… “Emerald, can you be a dear and make sure no one can fly away?”

“We’re actually just blowing this place up?”

“Yes we are. It’s fucking cold out here and I’d like to get this done before sunrise. Sienna…”

“Ma’am?”

“The hard part starts now. Stay focused, and safe.” Her tone carried a sense of maternal love that made Sienna’s chest warm. Ilia caring about her was something she always knew but it was nice to actually hear it in a way that wasn’t a lecture or intense drills. It was weird when Sienna thought about it. Ilia must’ve known how on edge this was making her. They all seemed to.

Mercury pulled out his combat knife and handed it to Sienna. “Here, you’ll use it more than me.” Sienna twirled his and her knife in each hand. The weight felt good, unnervingly good.

“I know this isn’t the same, but all of us here have done some pretty dreadful things at extremely young ages. So if this is too much or you need to vent, we’re all ears. Except Neo. She’s really chatty.

Sienna couldn’t help but chuckle at that comment. “Thanks” Her attention turned towards the door filled with looming threats just outside of it. “I might take you up on that offer.”

xxxx

Life, a precious thing bestowed to all but never in equal shares. That’s how Mercury saw it anyways. To him, the world was always a place where your life depended on robbing that precious thing from others in some shape or form. He still believed that to a certain degree. Even while his own was fading.

The bomb had gone off several minutes ago. Thick smoke and immense heat from the rapidly spreading flames surrounded each crumbling floor as bullets flew in every direction, the screams of panic constantly attacking his eardrums. He felt a little bad for how much he couldn’t care less. Especially since he’s been on the wrong side of the law most of his life. He was more jaded than he thought. Emerald would say otherwise but she was just being nice. He’d miss that about her.

Mercury leaned against a broken wall clenching his left side. A lucky aimed grande had gone off inches away from him and took almost all of the shrapnel. Even with aura, his ribs didn’t enjoy that one bit. The pain was almost too much to bear. Between that and the heat, Mercury’s vision was starting to blur. Halfway across the room he could still make out a figure, that obviously wasn’t friendly, point a gun at him with deadly accuracy. All he could do was cough and try to stand, but his legs gave out on him. For once he missed the prosthetics.

“Well Em, looks like you don’t have to deal with my terrible sense of humor anymore.” He wheezed. Mercury held his arms in front of his body, hoping he had enough aura left to take a few more bullets. He never got the chance to know as the marksman gun got snatched from his hands by a chain and was quickly used against him, ending his life. It all happened too fast, or maybe it was because of his mission, but Mercury didn’t know what just happened.

“S- Tigress?” He said, barely catching himself from using her name in the middle of a fight. He couldn’t see her. All he saw, were the sway of flames. They flickered almost like a dying candle each time before he heard a scream or saw gunshots stop in a direction. A shadow on the walls contoured and flowed like a wave that engulfed other shadows like a predator on the hunt.

It was only when that shadow lunged out of the flames did he see what it was. Sienna crouched several feet in front of him on a body, someone in a suit that was breathing their last breath as Sienna pulled knives out of their chest. She didn’t appear to notice him, not at first. Her head was too busy swiveling to locate her next target. Mercury felt his soul leave his body the moment their eyes locked. The absolute hunger and lack of anything but fiery bloodlust made her look like a demon than anything else. Not even wild animals or grimm showed this kind of evil, this overwhelming desire to kill. Her blood soaked clothes and mask didn’t help either. This was Sienna? This was the same twenty year old girl he comforted earlier? One thing was for sure, nothing was robbing Sienna of her life.

She approached him slowly. The way she stayed low and never blinked made Mercury almost wish she stayed away. Sienna didn’t though. She got closer and closer until he was in arms reach. Mercury closed his eyes tightly in fear. He could feel her hand press against his mask gently, then adjusted it slightly.

“Icarus?” He heard her call out his code name. He opened his eyes slowly to see the soulless eyes replaced with the warm and sincere eyes he had gotten used to. “Are you okay?” She spoke again.

“I-I uh, can barely stand.” The lump in his throat was serious. It had been awhile since he felt this level of fear. That’s all he could think to call it. Sienna had managed to terrify him. A feat only achieved by a select few. Salem, his father, Neo, and his first encounter with Jacquelyn, to name a few.

Sienna lifted his arm and used herself as a crunch to support him. “Lady Em would be really upset if my plan killed you. Can’t have that now can we? Let’s get you somewhere a little bit cooler.”

“You should be...more concerned about completing the mission. Complete erasure remember?”

“I remember. I also remember you saying I could chat with you later if I wanted. I’m a ‘have your cake and eat it too’, kind of gal.” Sienna took no further protest from him and began walking. One of the good parts about a blown up building was the many holes leading outside. It took no time at all to find a sizable one to get through. Sienna placed by some debris out of reach of the flames but not too far to get cold. She looked to the right of her to find an abandoned rifle and gave it to him.

“Play dead or fight whoever you can. I’ll let our resident sniper know where you are to watch your back. This won’t take much longer by the sound of it.”

Mercury said nothing. He simply watched her walk back into flames, the faint sense of her intent to kill returning to her before she was out of sight.

Sienna could feel her body go numb again. It was only moments later when another person jumped out ready to fight and quickly regretted the idea as they saw a knife fly into the air, and get stuck in their windpipe. All of this felt so familiar to her.Blood, fire, tears, screams; what ruled her nightmares was back again happening in reality. How many have died by her hand now? At least forty five by now. In a single day, the blood on her hands had gone up forty three, yet that first two still clawed its way to the front of her mind. She could never forget that day. It wouldn’t allow her to forget that day. The day she died twice by her own hands. Sienna continued walking through the flames, looking for the next target.

xxxx

The ride back home was quiet. Ilia had decided to be the one flying since she didn’t have to fight up close while Mercury was fast asleep in his seat. Emerald clung to his arm, sleeping as well. The woman was almost moved to tears when she saw how battered he had gotten. Mercury tried to play it cool but Sienna got the feeling he was so relieved to be in Emerald’s embrace again. Sienna could see the love between them as clear as a shining star. She was happy that they were together again. Sienna hoped she too would find a love like that. A love that took the pain away. Not that her family didn’t do that, but she hoped that she'd find it from a stranger as well. Adam did it, so it was possible. Neo was awake for the whole ride but said very little. Ilia told Sienna that Neo tended to fall back into being mute after missions like these. As if they brought back the old her from days long past. Maybe that’s why she was so good at what she did. Even the shining pink in her eyes held a different presence to them. Somehow Sienna understood it perfectly.

Sienna wasn’t in a chatty mood anyways. She calmly waited for the airship to reach its destination when she realized it was landing in Menagerie, but not in town. It had landed by her house.

“It would be pretty awful for you to have to walk home or not sleep in your own bed after tonight.” Ilia commented.

“You could’ve dropped me off at my bunk.”

“What bunk? Those are for recruits, not full fledged members. I’d say congratulations but that sounds a little inappropriate so..” Ilia held out her hand. “Welcome to The Shadows.”

Sienna didn’t know what to say. She went to shake Ilia’s hand but realized she had never taken off the gloves that were now covered in dried blood. Almost all of her was like that. Sienna hadn’t even realized her mask was still on. She took it off and finally breathed her first breath of fresh air in hours. She removed the gloves as well and shook Ilia’s hand.

“Thanks” was all she could muster to say. Sienna turned around to hop off but not before exchanging looks with Neo. They raised their adrenaline filled fists and bumped them before Sienna finally left.

“What do you think she’ll do now?” Ilia asked

“I don’t have to think, I know exactly what comes next.” Neo responded before standing up and walking to the restroom inside the ship.

Sienna took the several foot walk home before staring at the front door to see both her family standing before her. Sienna suddenly started to feel hot. Her stomach churned and her throat tightened before tears welled up frantically. The adrenaline in her body left and Sienna dropped to her knees, vomiting hard into the sand. Adam quickly ran to her side while Jacquelyn stood by her second daughter.

“Jael go get your sister some water.”

“Yes ma’am.” Jael ran inside, taking the hint.

Jacquelyn walked over to Adam who was rubbing Sienna’s back as she wept. Jacquelyn followed suit by hugging the girl tight, silently shushing her and rubbing her fingers through her hair.

“Why?” Sienna gasped, “Why did it feel so good? My head went back to that day and everything just felt so wrong yet so...so natural! I felt… comfortable even. Like I finally got to take all that anger and give it back tenfold! How do you deal with that feeling!? How do you live with it!?”

Sienna balled her eyes out into her mother’s chest. If her voice wasn’t so horse then she’d probably scream her lungs out. Everything she did should’ve felt disgusting and it did to a certain degree, but not the way it should’ve. Sienna knew she’d do it again in a heartbeat. The feeling of Adam’s arms wrapping around here back controlled her breathing a little. The embrace of both of her parents somehow only brought more tears. It’s like she had forgotten what it’s life to feel safe until now. Adam let go briefly and turned her head in his direction. Her distressed face was enough to break his heart a thousand times over.

“I can’t say I have an answer for you, but know I’ll be here as long as it takes until we find the answer.”

“We both will.” Jacquelyn chimed in.

Sienna pulled them back into her arms as physically possible and simply wept. She opened her eyes briefly to see Jael watch from the door and Sienna extended her arm for the girl to come rushing in, giving her big sister all the love she could give. At last...

Daybreak came.

#rwby #rwby au #emercury #rwby lasting embers #sienna frost #jacquelyn frost #adam taurus #jael frost #ilia amitola #neo politan #mercury black #emerald sustrai

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alysses123 · 4 years

Text

@homoeroticsubtextinspace made me do it

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Well now I do! But seriously, no not ever.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 I’d say. Feel uneasy but not terrified

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Idk, no one in particular I guess

4. What is your favorite word?

In english I love arson, idk why. In french (my native language), couette

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

I love oak trees but I’m not one, i’d say more of a plum tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Shit I messed up my eyeliner

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Simple black one with long sleeves

8. What do you label yourself as?

Small

9. Bright room or dark room?

Bright room! With sun! or plenty of lamps!

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Definitely sleeping!

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

8. I feel like all of my childhood happened when I was 8.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My boyfriend I think. We’re quite cheesy actually

13. Your worst enemy?

Capitalism and how it makes us feel bad for being human.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

It’s Mtg art! Slimefoot the stowaway! Loooove it so much!

15. Do you like someone?

Plenty of people! I like my friends, most of my family, my boyfriend, the cat at my place, random people...

16. The last song you listened to?

Honestly no idea

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I’d have said the orange blob but @homoeroticsubtextinspace said Bezos and honestly? Mood.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Me personally I wouldn’t like punching someone. However I would love to see nazis punched in the face.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

No slaves, bad thing to enslave people.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My hair! Love it! Especially when I dye it on shave it!

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I would look like a very average guy I think, Not short nor tall, a bit on the skinnier side, brown haired… Well like me but as a guy.

Idk. I guess I would want to have sex because it must feel different when you have a penis.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Not really, I don’t want to hide my talents!

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Slugs. Hate them.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Bread with some cereals, goat cheese, figs, honey, pepper.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Buy useful stuff for our home. Maybe curtains.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

I don’t want to travel by plane! but I’d say Iceland, looks beautiful.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Uuuuuuuuh…. Idk. I like infused rum so I’d say HSE.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Don’t hurt others.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck. I also use Putain in french but I don’t particularly use it

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My teddy bear I think? Idk, I don’t have a lot of belongings so everything I have, I love and want to keep.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I don’t think I’ve lived a horrible experience. bad ones but not horribles ones.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Uh… weird question but honestly it doesn’t feel very me, so I wouldn’t want to move out of France.

I think the deads belong with Death, it’d fuck up ones brain to see someone who isn’t anymore.

34. What was your last dream about?

A coat. I want to make myself one soooo bad.But idk how I want it to be, so it’s hard.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

porcupine? No, I’m a terrible porcupine.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yeah 2 times I’d say. Once I fell off a horse and once I fell of a playground trapeze.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes! I like it but it doesn’t snow enough :(

38. What is the color of your socks?

Brown, they are handknitted by a friend!

39. What type of music do you like?

here are some stuff i like:

Uuuuuuuh rap, funk, I really like the Cure, Florence and the machine, Devo, les Wriggles, Renaud (his old stuff because the new stuff is… bad. Really bad.), Zebda, Diana Ross, Earth wind and fire...

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunrise! feels magical.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

I don’t really like milkshakes :/

42. What football team do you support?

None.

43. Do you have any scars?

A few. One on my cheeks looks really badass but it’s from my cat. One on my leg from when I fell off a bike. A few burn ones because I’m not careful around hot stuff, and my work involves hot irons. A new one from a dog bite. And three inked scars (okay, they’re tattoos but technically it’s a scar)

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I graduated a few weeks ago, so I’d say I want to work in my field.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

More confidence! That’s all n.n

46. Are you reliable?

I think I am.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Am I cringy rn?

48. Do you hold grudges?

I can put up with a lot, but when I decide I’m done, we’re done.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

A cat and a shark!

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I have no idea.

51. Are you a good liar?

I have major anxiety if I don’t feel it’s the right thing to do but I think I can pull it off quite well, I’m a good actress.

52. How long could you go without talking?

Talking? a day or two if there’s no one around, even though I’d probably start talking to myself. Expressing myself via text or something? A couple hours, not much more n.n

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

Fringe. Very bad decision.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yes, of course.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

No, very bad at it.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Cheese

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

pants. Ugly, it was to explain something.

58. What would be your dream car?

None, I don't like cars.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

No, but after the shower, I need to get most of the water off my skin before using the towel. Otherwise the towel feels too wet.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I think there’s very little chance we’re the only living (whatever that means) beings in the whole UNIVERSE. That shit’s big.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

No. I say I don’t believe in astrology but I know a part of me is like “what if”, so I try not to feed it ;)

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

A because it’s the first letter of my name.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Oh hard one! Dinosaurs are cooler as in 90’s style cool, dragons are cooler as in badass col.

64. What do you think about babies?

Ugh.

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comradesummers · 5 years

Note

3, 17, 27?

Hi, thank you for asking!

Top 5 underrated TV shows

Idk what really qualifies as underrated, but I’ll try my best.

1. Legends of Tomorrow

Like, outside of the cult following, people don’t give it credit for being one of the most creative and batshit crazy shows on TV. I think what really gets missed in the conversation about Legends, even when the show is brought up, is that it’s not just a weird, kooky show. I genuinely believe LoT is doing something that no other show on TV is doing rn. Like it may be silly, and not take itself too seriously, but it’s actually super creative, it tries new things, it takes risks that shows that take themselves more seriously don’t have the luxury of taking. It’s out there doing something genuinely different from the regular serialized drama format that’s overtaking television, and that’s unique and important and we should appreciate it more.

2. Every show for or about women that’s ever been referred to as a “guilty pleasure” by men, including but not limited to: BtVS, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Jane the Virgin, Sex and the City (I haven’t even seen it, but I know that it changed television as we know it, and men still dismiss it as meaningless fluff), Gilmore Girls, and too many other shows to list here. All of them are underrated by assholes who think they’re too good for girl things.

3. Blackadder

Y’know, the concept of something being underrated is super weird, because like the question becomes: underrated by who? I mean, if you’re in the know about British comedies or whatever, then of course you know that Blackadder is one of the funniest and most innovative shows ever. But with everyone else I’ve talked to in real life, I’ve had to explain that Mr. Bean and Dr. House dress up in period costumes, and hang out with different important historical figures in British history, and it’s really funny and great (except for maybe the first season).

4. Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23

And then on the other hand, I’m pretty sure a lot of people on Tumblr know what this show is, and know it’s hilarious, but I would still probably consider it underrated and pretty unknown outside of certain circles.

5. Sense8

Again, I’m not sure it’s underrated on Tumblr but more people need to see it, so I’m counting it. I like Sense8 for the same reason I like Legends: it took risks, and did things other shows weren’t doing, albeit on a much larger and more unruly budget, which is probably why it got cancelled. But it really was a great, if short lived show, and I wish it had gone on for longer.

Top 5 “deserved better” characters

1. Kendra Young

Yeah, so I think there are two reasons that Kendra’s death makes me so angry. The first being just how much potential was wasted with her death. Yeah, they made her do a goofy accent, but she was still a really interesting character. Her worldview was completely entrenched in that of the Council. She was raised by them, and had never rebelled like Giles had. She would have made an amazing contrast to Buffy and the gang, but I also think there’s a really great story there about her coming to terms with just how exploited by those assholes she had been. Also, her dynamic with Buffy was already fascinating, and I think they had really good chemistry (I ship it).

The other reason her death makes me so angry is that she is the most obvious example of the horrendous treatment of people of color on BtVS. It really is unacceptable how white that show is, and once the writers finally did create an interesting and powerful (if admittedly pretty stereotypical) woman of color, they killed her off after three episodes. Kendra deserved better just like every other non-white character on BtVS deserved better.

2. Meg Manning and Paker Lee

(Yeah, I’m cheating, it’s a tie.) So one of the main issues that I have with Veronica Mars is that there just aren’t that many women on the show. With the exception of Veronica herself, most of the main characters are men, and most of Veronica’s important relationships, be they romantic, familial, or platonic, are with men.

The female characters we do have either have very little screentime, in spite of their considerable awesomeness (Mac and Jackie). Or, in the case of Meg and Parker, are used and disposed of according to the needs of the plot, often to create drama in Veronica’s love life. Meg surviving the bus crash, only to be killed off once she’d given birth, basically because she was no longer relevant to the Duncan/Veronica story is super icky and gross. And Parker getting dismissed as nothing more than road bump in LoVe’s story by both the show and the fandom drives me a little crazy, especially considering how she was introduced to the show.

Also, while we’re at it, every single ‘feminist’ character in season 3 deserved better from Rob Thomas.

3. Tara Maclay

She deserved to live, and we the viewers deserved better than Bury Your Gays.

4. Martha Jones

I mean, Martha Jones deserved better from the fandom more than anything else. And I’m adding her to the list because I’m one of the many people who owes Martha and Freema Agyeman an apology. I was like 12 when I watched Doctor Who for the first time, and I totally bought into the racist sexist bullshit (she’s boring, why is she in love with the Doctor, etc.). To be fair, I also bought into a lot of sexist bullshit when it came to Rose, so I hated her too, but obviously Martha got the shorter end of the stick, because of racism, and she deserved so, so much better.

5. Donna Noble

Fuck the amnesia bullshit and erasing her character development. Why did they have to do this to her? What possible purpose did it serve? Why not just give her a reason to leave and go home like every other companion? Wtf was the point? Was it just so that the doctor would have manpain about it?

Nevermind, I think I just answered my own question.

Top 5 brotps

Ok, not including any relationships I view as purely familial (Dawn and Buffy, Giles and Buffy, Tara and Dawn, Holt and anybody, etc.). Friendships only.

1. Buffy and Willow

Buffy and Willow love each other so much, and they hurt each other a lot too. This relationship isn’t simple and sweet, it starts out that way, but it becomes difficult, and they both do things to one another that I don’t think either one of them ever fully forgives the other for. But even still, at their worst, they love each other so deeply and so completely. This relationship is at the core of the show, I think. It’s arguably the first relationship the show establishes, and the one it spends most time on. The ups and downs are painful, but they feel real (even when they involve things like bringing someone back from the dead without their consent or whatever). And through it all, they never stop loving each other. As flawed as it may be, I think it’s also one of the most complex, interesting, and important relationships between two women ever on television. And that’s worth celebrating.

2. Jane and Petra

So I’ve been on a bit of a Jane the Virgin kick lately, and I’ll be honest, I can’t decide if this is a brotp or an otp. But I love Petramos too, so let’s go with brotp.

In any case, these two were pretty much my endgame for the show. I really didn’t care who Jane ended up with (unless it was Petra, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen), and I got sick of her love triangle real quick (to be fair, I just really can’t stand love triangles, which is why I didn’t give the show a shot for a long time). As for Petra, I just really wanted her to have a healthy relationship with someone, and Jane seemed to be the only person who seemed interested in having a healthy relationship with her.

Plus their dynamic is just amazing and hilarious. My favorite scenes in the show are always when they’re on screen together. The way they grudgingly grow to care about and love each other is genuinely sweet and well developed. And I love how even when they do become friends, their basic moral divide never changes. They still disagree very strongly about certain things, but they love each other regardless. And btw, the scene where they say “I love you” to each other for the first time might be my favorite “I love you” scene ever, platonic or otherwise.

I just love them so much.

3. Gurl Group (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

This is another show about romance where I’m far more invested in the female friendship than I am in any of the romances, but to be fair, I think CxG kind of wants you to do that anyway.

Regardless, I love everyone in this Gurl Group, individually and together. And their individual relationships are already fascinating. Like, Rebecca and Valencia’s frienship is pure enemies to lovers friends bliss and I love it. Rebecca and Paula’s relationship is the heart of the show, and like Buffy and Willow, this relationship is often difficult and complicated, but the love is always there. And we never had enough scenes of Heather and Valencia interacting. Every scene where they were together was pure comedic gold. And the group together as a whole was just so powerful and amazing to behold.

4. Amy and Rosa

They do not have enough scenes together. This relationship deserves the same amount of care and development as Jake and Charles get. Melissa and Stephanie have great chemistry. And like, their characters are so different, so the contrast is always so funny. But they also love each other, and support each other, and it’s so much fun to watch. I need 10000% more Amy/Rosa content.

5. Buffy and Veronica

This one’s probably also cheating because it’s a crossover and all, but I’m just kind of obsessed with the idea of them meeting, sparks flying, enemies to lovers friends, the works. They would just have such a fantastic dynamic. Like, think of all the verbal sparring that we would be blessed with. Think of all the drama and angst of them coming to understand and respect each other. If there is one crossover that I would will into existence if I could, it would definitely be this one.

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sevenfactorial · 5 years

Text

How I Write Class Notes

First of all, I totally forgot that I said I’d do this and I’m really sorry about that.

So my note taking is specifically designed for upper-level math classes since that’s what I do the most but my notes for CS and many other classes still take a similar form, just with less things labeled theorems (also with more bulleted lists. I love bulleted lists but I use them way less in math notes than any other class). This also works for reading textbooks or papers independently. If you want info specifically for lower level math classes (high school up through calc 3), I can see what I can do too.

Here’s a very basic summary of what I think is most important for note taking

Feasible (ie simple and fast enough for you). You want to be able to keep up your system even at points where your class is going absurdly fast or when you’re exhausted/having trouble focusing/etc

Easy to skim. Just writing things down at all is good for retention but if you’re taking notes, you probably want to be able to read them later easily. So it needs to be easy to pick out key definitions/theorems/etc.

In that vein, include necessary assumptions even if it does feel repetitive.

Don’t cram things together. Allow for white space (again, so skimming is possible)

Label things. Major topics, definitions, theorems, key ideas especially. Also make it obvious that a proof or example is a proof/example.

All of it is together one way or another, whether that’s a digital file, paper in a folder/binder/etc, or a notebook. Keeping it together is extremely important to me.

A detailed description and more thoughts are under the cut.

I’m very basic about my notes and am not always fully consistent (I have an indentation problem which occasionally irritates me but I’ve decided it’s not worth it to obsess over), but I try to be and generally have a structure for my notes. If you were to flip through even my recent notebooks you’ll find deviations but that’s just how it goes.

I don’t actually have any of my old class notes with me right now so I wrote the following to give a sense of what my notes tend to actually look like. I wrote it on loose leaf but normally I take notes in a composite notebook. I find I consistently take 30-45 pages (1 page = front and back) per class per semester (I’ve also taken less) so I find the halfway point and do two classes per notebook to decrease number of notebooks I’m carrying around. If you have two semester long classes, account for that so that you don’t end up having alg I and II in different notebooks like I do.

(I typed more or less what I wrote afterwards but there’s really no way I’m recreating the formatting on a tumblr post)

First of all, this is a fair bit neater than my actual notes are. One of my best friends can barely read my normal handwriting at all and this is a bit neater than that. But if you can’t read it still, I don’t blame you at all so,

Date goes in the top right column at the beginning of every single class. It helps when you’re flipping through to find something later and also forces me to be somewhat aware of the date from day to day (further discussion on dates later)

I underline chapter/section titles/topics and include the the relevant textbook section numbers if given. This varies according to how my professors introduce topics generally.

Also I will generally just skip two or three lines between sections but will start at the top of a new page for chapters.

Some of my professors start off topics by giving an overview of what we’re looking at and motivations and the like so I just write “Idea:” and follow it up with whatever the professor is giving me.

Definitions: Typical in most subjects, I shorten it to “def” on the left of the margin line and start writing on the same line

I used to like starting out with the word itself but I often find it awkward in math notes so I just underline it in the statement (and highlight later)

Even though it’s a pain, I make a point of restating assumptions pretty constantly because it’s really useful if you’re studying from notes later.

Some typical things to follow up definitions include notation, warnings, and sometimes an intuitive way of thinking about it that may not completely capture all the details of the statement. I just do “thing:” for everything except the later, which I just write in quotes

Don’t forget, definitions are always if and only if statements. This is something you’re generally vaguely aware of from early on but perhaps don’t actually fully realize until some random point (I did that and heard of several others doing it too)

Theorems: The other mainstay of math. Honestly, I’m pretty sure everything’s ultimately a theorem, definition, axiom, or example

I give theorems a label of “THM” on the left. I can’t really explain why I write it in capital letters here but if I write theorem within a statement or example or something, I’ll use a lowercase “thm”

Like for definitions, make a point of rewriting assumptions.

Just overall, I try to keep my “paragraphs” short, one to three lines, before leaving the rest of the line blank and indenting the next one in order to increase whitespace

Lemmas/Corollaries/Other words which exist: I tend to put their label on the right side of the red margin line and indent their content more. I’m not super consistent with them, though make sure to indicate end of lemmas if your theorem goes “theorem - start proof - lemma - proof of lemma - finish proof of theorem”

If a diagram is useful, I tend to stick them to the right and write around it best I can. I’ll generally wait until after class to add color if it’s useful but occasionally, if class is going relatively slow or the colors REALLY matter then I’ll grab colored pens as quickly as possible

Also, my professors tend to not shy away from longer proofs and are not always the best of keeping track of time so that means we end class in the middle of proofs more often than ideal

I will just continue right along with the proof but shove the date at the right of the first line on the next day.

When we end at more reasonable places, I tend to skip a line, date on the right, resume on the next line

Unless I end within the last 8ish lines, then I’ll often start on the next page

Some things to consider that I didn’t write in the example:

I converted to writing in pen at the beginning of the summer (I’ve had a few lectures at the beginning of my REU but it’s not quite the same as class). Don’t be worried about scribbling out if you’re using pen. If you want prettier notes, rewrite them later. It’s a good way of studying anyways.

Also consider typing them up (tex for math) to have a searchable reference for later (studying/future classes).

I write up definitions and theorems before exams in colorful pen to study. Usually just on copy paper. The color is mostly just for fun since i’m probably stressed at the time.

I feel like a lot of math students do use pen exclusviely? idk. Use whatever you feel most comfortable with. When I used pencil, I did a combo of erasing and scribbling out, depending on the pace of the class.

If you are in the market for pens, G2 pens seem to have a bit of a following and honestly, I get it. They’re really good and within typical prices for disposable pens (you can order refills online and it makes them even cheaper). I also love papermate’s felt tips (they’re what I use for colored pens) but you can see them from the other side of the paper far more so I don’t find them appropriate for note taking.

Don’t be afraid to write notes in the margins (I usually use the left margin at an angle but like, wherever it fits works too). Often these are comments to myself.

Having a way to indicate things you want to look up later or exercises your professor suggested is good. I usually put a star on the red margin line at those points.

I try to keep a def/thm/proof on the same page but it’s really hard to always anticipate the length of things so I try but don’t worry about it too much.

Use shortenings when you can but make sure you remember them and that you’re not actually spending more time recalling the abbreviation than you would just writing it out

I find the most common abbreviations in math are first three letter of the word, first four letters, or first three and last letter

I don’t think flat out trying to use someone else’s note taking system is really the best. You’ll have to take more time than you probably have to remember the formatting. However, getting ideas from others is often useful. I don’t know why I started doing most things I do but I know that some of my habits came from seeing my friends or professors do it.

I think I mostly just use typical organization methods and nothing particularly interesting/novel but I hope it was still useful to some people.

#university tips #school tips #study tips #seven's study tips #university life #math class tips #also sorry that the cut didn't work idk technology is hard #long post

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mother-ofwriting · 5 years

Text

Personality

... I decided to take the odd Color Oracle quiz thing that I saw on a blog and LEMME JUST SAY...

.... It has me dead to rights. If you wish to see what I got and my response of ‘why’, then hit the ‘read more’ button. If not, please move along. You’re in for a long haul if you continue, fair warning.

I will put my response/personal thoughts/etc. in bold at the end of each part.

Your General Disposition

At the present time, your behavior is characterized by your need for recognition. You find it important that other people accept and appreciate you and view you as competent. For this reason, you try hard to have everything – including yourself – under control, to know your way around everything and if necessary to take on unpleasant tasks. You believe you have to prove to yourself and others what you are capable of because, at the moment, your sense of self-esteem is fragile.

Whatever gave that away? Far as I know, everyone around here thinks I’m all fine and dandy and definitely haven’t broken down several times in the past few weeks.

Interpretation of the Colors You Find Most Pleasing

Of great importance to you now is...

...solving difficulties autonomously.

You want to attain complete control over a situation that concerns and touches you personally. You would also like to have such a good hold on yourself that you remain in control, no matter what, so that everything runs smoothly. Without being aware of it, you are also quite domineering in your dealings with others, and this doesn't sit well with all of them. You say to yourself: The thing I need to cope with my current situation is...

...obtaining sufficient funds.

It is very important to you to have enough money at your disposal so that you can afford whatever you wish to have or do. For this reason, you are currently spending more time thinking about your finances, and you anxiously deliberate on how you could obtain the necessary money. The certainty that you have sufficient funds strengthens your sense of self-worth and helps you to meet other people with confidence. You have unrealistic expectations regarding your...

...joyful fulfillment of your desires.

It is very important to you to achieve what you are striving for and to experience the joyful fulfillment of your wishes. The thing that actually often compels you into action is your deep yearning for unadulterated, lasting happiness and inner peace. If you seek these things in the realm of material possessions, relationships and experiences, you will suffer disappointment over and over again. You believe you have the "magic formula" for achieving unadulterated happiness, namely...

...satisfying your needs undisturbed.

When daily stress takes a toll on your nerves, you prefer to retreat to a quiet place, to your comfortable home, your hobbies or the sweetness of doing nothing. This allows you to devote yourself, undisturbed by problems and worries, to the thing most important to you and which gives you satisfaction, to regenerate and to recharge your batteries. Your most marked need at present is...

...peaceable avoidance of conflict.

Friendly relations are important to you. You avoid arguments when possible. You would like to get along peaceably with everyone and not cause any unnecessary trouble. You avoid everything that could place too much strain on your nerves because the demands of your daily life are already enough of a burden. Nevertheless, every now and then, you will be drawn into unpleasant confrontations with someone. You hope to be able to protect yourself from unpleasant situations by...

...a thorough solution to your problem.

You can see it is now time to get up on your hind legs. You want to carry out your plans carefully and thoroughly and not be diverted from them. You take your tasks seriously and are not satisfied with half-hearted solutions or superficial answers. On the contrary, you try to get to the bottom of things, and you seek a radical solution to your problems.

Yes, I am really terrified of money at the moment. I’m fresh out of high school and trying/failing to find a job, and commissions are currently really slow going. I do seek a form of eternal happiness, but that is probably still a long ways off. I doubt God is gonna call me home anytime soon. Indeed, I’ve noticed that I go into more ‘rests’ as of late than I used to- being on the internet and feeling unnoticed for most of it often leads to me playing the loudest possible music I can while resting, so that I don’t have to think for a little while. I do like being friendly with folks, and thanks to my past, fights tend to really tax me. I have a few friends I haven’t really interacted much with for some time now, and it still gets to me every now and again. I wish I could find a thorough solution to all of my problems, but such wishful thinking seems like simply that- wishful thinking.

Interpretation of the Colors You Find Most Unpleasant

At the moment you feel most anxious due to your...

...aggressive irritability.

You often feel hindered by someone, either because your lovely plans get crossed or because someone puts bothersome obstacles in your path, criticizes you, offends you or otherwise annoys you. For this reason, you have accumulated a great deal of resentment inside which can discharge in the form of unexpected aggressive reactions. As long as you have not yet forgiven someone who has angered or injured you, you will not get rid of your explosive irritability. You are happy to give someone close to you the blame for your...

...fear of rejection.

You often feel isolated from other people by an invisible wall, and sometimes you get the creeping feeling that even the people you like don't really love you and possibly even reject you. On the other hand, you enjoy standing out from the crowd with your willfulness, unusual views and egocentric behavior. Your “distinctiveness trip” does win you attention, but not the warm-hearted affection you require. You get an uneasy feeling due to your...

...inhibiting limitations.

Difficult circumstances limit your opportunities for experience and your freedom of action. You feel deprived because you have to do without some of the things that would make life pleasant. You expect far too much understanding for your needs from other people, and as a result, you often feel disappointed. You might ask yourself how much understanding and empathy you extend to others. You would like to be free of your...

...gruelling test of nerves.

Your sense of wellbeing is negatively affected by stressful circumstances. You often feel misunderstood, unfairly treated or left at the mercy of the unacceptable behavior of a person who is important to you. You don't want to let on that you are aggravated by this, and you keep your irritation to yourself. Inside you, though, the accumulated resentment strains your nerves. For this reason, you are not very emotionally resilient at this time. You assume an air of exaggerated superiority despite your...

...continuing lack of enjoyment.

You feel that difficult circumstances are limiting your ability to experience and enjoy things, and this frustrates you and makes you sensitive to every manner of restriction, demand or even criticism that some person tries to impose on you. You believe you have to fend off such intentions and to act vigorously in order to obtain what you need. You are unable to truly enjoy life due to your...

...emotional sensitivity.

When you think about the difficulties you have to cope with, your mood is anything but rosy. You have to steel yourself against exhausting demands, you feel unfairly treated, or you are faced with some other impositions. You try to adopt a thick skin, but you get worked up all the same and have a tendency to make mountains out of molehills.

All of this can boil down to one point, of which a few friends have helped to soften. To save people from having to read things I doubt they want to, I have erased the three mega-paragraphs of ranting from this post.

Thanks for reading this far, please know that you didn’t have to. I appreciate that you read all of this.

~Writer

#[check the pen: writer]#[twice shy: mental]

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magma-paint · 6 years

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Tutorial Tuesdays--Getting Started

Tutorial Tuesdays is a new block on my blog in which I give art advice and tutorials for anyone looking to improve their art. But before we get into the good stuff, a quick obligatory background.

I know it’s tempting to look at my art and the art of people you look up to and come to the conclusion you’ll never get to that level no matter how hard you try, but it is possible to get to that level. You just gotta practice regularly and before you know it you’ll have it down-pat.

These posts will be pretty long, so to save Dashboard space, I’ll put the meat of things under a Keep Reading link so you can visit them in full. Alright, with that out of the way, are ya ready kids? Let’s go get some art tools!

I only say this because I’ve seen people make fantastic things with very limited materials and people with some of the finest tools but don’t use them to their full capacity. Again, it’s not what you use, but how you use it. When I talk about art tools, I’m mostly going off of what I use since those are the tools I’ve worked with a lot.

Pencils. Your most basic writing and drawing tool. For sketching and drawing, I use a 0.7 mm mechanical pencil with a good eraser. It’s quick, it’s convenient, and I often stick it in my ponytail when I’m not using it so I have easy access to it. They’re also pretty cheap. For commissions and grayscale shading, I use drawing pencils that come in various hardnesses. The hardness of your pencil will be noted by a number and a letter. A pencil with an H stamped on it will be harder, won’t smudge very easily, and has a very light load when the graphite is on the paper. A pencil stamped with a B will be softer, smudges very easily, and has a darker streak on the paper. The number on the pencil following the letter lets you know how hard or soft it is (4H is a very hard pencil, 8B is a very soft pencil). Your typical No. 2 pencils from school are in the HB category, which is middle of the road. You can find them individually at art stores or in packs. Walmart in my town offers a package of 6 drawing pencils bundled with two animation colored pencils, two markers, and an eraser for about $9. Pretty good deal. Speaking of...

Erasers. A pink rubber eraser will do you just fine, though make sure your pencil has a nice one on it for finer details and while you’re drawing. You can use a kneadable eraser if you have one, they’re squishy, you can mold them to how you see fit and they don’t leave any crumbs to clean up, but I’m not quite fond of them.

Markers and ink pens. Let me tell you, once you use a pen like one of these, you’ll never go back to ballpoint, which often has far too many broken lines to be practical to use and make your lineart look like trash. I use a Fine Tip Sharpie Pen, preferably in the no-bleed variety so the lineart doesn’t sink into the opposite side of the page. Recently I’ve been using Brush and Bullet tip Prismacolor Scholar markers for comics and good drawings. They’re a bit erratic to use at first, but it takes practice.

Colored pencils. Now these are my go-to for coloring since they give a wide range of color, combinations, and effects. For best results, I stick with Crayola or Cra-Z Art since the color tend to remain consistent from box to box and you can get a big box of them for a pretty good price. Prismacolors would be nice, but they’re pretty expensive and I don’t quite like the feel.

Sharpeners. Electric ones you can just keep at home, but for on the go I recommend a small manual one you can throw in your bag. Bonus if you get one that has a shavings catch so you don’t have shavings making a mess of your space.

Ruler/straight edge. You’ll want one of these for comic panels, perspective guidelines, and, well, straight lines, though in some cases you might want to practice making straight lines without the use of it. I use a metal one, but a plastic will do you good as well.

And now, the most important thing of all, your drawing canvas!

For starters, I recommend you get yourself a good sketchbook. Nothing too fancy, just one of those spiral-bound ones ideal for sketching. For your really good art, copy paper will work just fine. Really any kind of paper (or even cardboard!) will work but I implore you to avoid using loose-leaf notebook paper. I cannot tell you how much it hurts to see something so beautifully drawn wasted on lined paper. Not saying you can’t doodle in your notebook and show off something silly you sketched, but if you’d count a drawing as your magnum opus, your drawing probably deserved being on blank paper where it can shine.

I was considering making this an entry for Digital Art tutorials, but I’ll put these here just in case.

I do a lot of digital art using my HP laptop built with a touch screen. It can’t stream for sh1t but it runs single player Steam games alright and I use it for homework a lot. Before this, I had a desktop computer and used a mouse. I would like to own a Wacom tablet in the future, but until then this setup is nice enough. Remember, it’s about how you use your tools, not the quality of tools at your disposal.

Now this is a scanner that’s used only for pictures/documents. You can’t print or fax anything with it, but it’s good for just pictures. I own an HP printer/scanner combo, but it is pretty finicky and no longer prints. Alternately, you can just use your cell-phone camera to take pictures of your finished piece, but I do not recommend doing so for comics unless you’re giving previews of one panel.

For my programs, these are the three that I use:

Good for doodles, already on your computer (probably), and I use this program to make authentic looking Homestuck drawings (like, you could mistake it for being an actual panel in Homestuck).

My primary art program. Operates much like Paint Tool SAI and photoshop. Very good for general art and comics.

Still learning this one, but it’s just like Medibang and is equipped with tools for animation.

And yes, these three programs are downloadable for free. I do want to try out Clip Studio Paint EX, but the cheapest I can get it is $80 when it goes on sale during the holidays. Normally, it costs $250.

Next time, we go over some drawing basics and some tips that will save your sanity while sketching. Stay tuned!

#tutorial tuesdays #art tutorials and refs #sh1t magma-paint does #getting started #art supplies #art software

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rynne311 · 6 years

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65 Questions You Aren't Used To

Tagged by @an-all-write-life, thank you lovely!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I think I may have answered this one before, but basically no.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1, maybe 1.5. I really don’t mind the dark, but sometimes it’s the unexplained sounds that will get me.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

I don’t know if any of you watched Community, but Troy loved LeVar Burton, he was his favorite celebrity. Even though Troy loved LeVar Burton, the most he ever wanted was a picture/autograph, he explicitly told Pierce that he never wanted to meet him. When Pierce brought LeVar Burton in as a way to mess with Troy, he was completely starstruck and could not speak, he just sat there wide eyed and terrified of disappointing his hero, until he ran away from dinner screaming. Long story short, any sort of media hero I have I wouldn’t want to meet because I’d probably make Troy look like a normal person with how starstruck I got.

4. What is your favorite word?

Oh boy, this is a lot of pressure! I don’t want to offend all the other words. I’ll go with onomatopoeia because it’s kind of fun!

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

An oak, I guess. They look pretty as they change, and dropping the acorns can cause mild annoyance, which I seem to be able to do pretty easily for the friends and family around me.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Why does it have to be Monday??(I answered this when I started working on these yesterday)

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Simple pink and gray stripes.

8. What do you label yourself as?

Nerd

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark, it just feels kind of relaxing and like it’s time to unwind.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping - I’m kind of boring and go to bed by 10:30 (usually earlier) every night, so I’m definitely dead asleep at midnight.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

I actually really enjoyed ages 18-20, and 23 was pretty good too. I’m sure I’ll hit a good stride of ages again, but until I hit that sweet spot, I’m just going to roll with it and have the most fun I can.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Umm, probably my friend Alex telling me she loves me more after I had sent her a second reminder in a night that I love her. Or my mom.

13. Your worst enemy?

Honestly, I’m probably my own worst enemy.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

It’s the generic blue design that came with the laptop

15. Do you like someone?

In any way other than platonically, no not right now.

16. The last song you listened to?

Either “Rich” by Maren Morris or “Hotel Key” by Old Dominion on my way into work.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

If I dislike someone that much, shouldn’t they just be left to suffer...like forever.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

It would be too easy to say some of those politicians that I think are awful and spewing hate, but that’s probably who I’d want to hit the most. But then I’m putting hate and violence out there and I aspire to be better than those I wish to punch in the face.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Yeah, people shouldn’t own people. What I would be more interested

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

Probably my eyes or smile.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

Umm, I sure hope that would mean I would be tall! At least considerably taller than 5’2” and then I’d go and reach stuff on the top shelf...without a step-stool.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

If I do, it’s news to me.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

My fears are pretty run of the mill.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

I might just be pretty boring and say a really good grilled cheese with like a good kind of cheese like pepperjack or something.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

If only that would cover all my loans! I’d probably treat myself to something like a new pair of heels or just save it for a bit and maybe put it towards Christmas presents.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Probably back to Spain. I loved the four months I lived in Salamanca and want to go back! Also, my host family was amazing, and I’d love to visit them again.

I’d probably get some Barefoot Pink Bubbly, but I’d be a little suspicious of some greater ulterior motive.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Everybody has to be left-handed lol, actually establishing some sort of guidance for rights and behavior, making sure that all groups are treated equally and fairly.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Shit. As much as I curse in real life, I try to avoid it in my writing, instead opting to find other words to express the sentiment, although that isn’t always possible.

Probably one of my mom’s jewelry or memory boxes that has mementos from my late grandma in them. It would mean the world to her and I was close with my grandma too, so I’d still be able to preserve a piece of her.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

As much as I’d love to erase any bouts of poor mental health I’ve had in the past, I’ve learned from them and without that experience, I wouldn’t be prepared to tackle my next big challenge whatever it may be.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Just like in question 26, I’d probably move to Spain!

As much as I would love to bring my godfather back, it wouldn’t be fair to take him from the afterlife, or to put his wife, kids and the rest of us who love him through that pain again. If I could open some sort of communication between this life and the next, I would absolutely offer it to him. At least being able to communicate would probably be able to heal some wounds for a lot of us here, and I’d love for his 10 year old son to get to know him outside of the stories he hears from me and the rest of his family.

34. What was your last dream about?

Selling houses and moving...just all around kind of odd.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? - Are you a good listener?

I’d like to think I am, yes. Recently at my weekend job, I was clocking out for the day and finished one of my purchases and the woman in front of me had a bag that was just a little too heavy for her to carry, so I brought her bag out to the car for her. I ended up spending another 20 minutes out there with her talking, well she was doing most of the talking, and before we went separate ways she kept thanking me for listening to her. So if that is any indication, yes I am a good listener, also it broke my heart that she felt the need to thank me for listening to her because it tells me that she really isn’t getting much of that in her life.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

I’ve been to the emergency room twice, but never admitted to the actual hospital. And both of those visits were within three days.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Grew up in New England, it’s kind of a mandatory part of childhood here.

38. What is the color of your socks?

Gray and teal

39. What type of music do you like?

Country, plus some pop and rock

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I’m rarely up for sunrises, but when I was in college, I was pulling an all nighter in our computer/printer room and I got the most spectacular view of the sun rising over the mountains in Vermont. It made up for the severe lack of sleep I was experiencing.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I don’t sport. As far as American football goes, I suppose the NY Giants, but in reality it’s more of anyone who isn’t the Patriots.

43. Do you have any scars?

A few on my arms from stupid stuff while growing up, like fighting with my sister.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I graduated from college 3 years ago and still don’t know. Maybe to know and be happy and secure.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Physically - the list is kind of long and pretty personal. Otherwise, I’d get rid of those nasty things like my anxiety and depression.

46. Are you reliable?

Almost to a fault where some people have tried to take advantage of it so they could slack off.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Have you found the happy path you want to be on?

48. Do you hold grudges?

Yes, but it’s something I’ve been trying to work on. I’ll stop and think what did this event/person impact my life and is it still important? That’s been pretty helpful for letting things go. I doubt I’ll ever be able to move on from things immediately, but being able to step away after I’ve had some time and choose forgiveness really does help.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

CatDog

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Probably once when talking about childhoods and one girl brought up how she got sent to water therapy because she would insist that she was a mermaid and didn’t have legs to walk. If I remember correctly, they thought this was her way of manifesting her fear of water, but really with her red hair, she just wanted to be Ariel from Little Mermaid. It was definitely a wild ride of a conversation.

51. Are you a good liar?

Yes and no. I’ve got some tells, but over the past few years, I’ve gotten much better at hiding them.

52. How long could you go without talking?

If I’m not talking because I’m mad, at least a few days. I love talking, so if there isn’t much of a reason to be silent, I’m probably going to be talking. There have been a few times I’ve been home alone and will just begin talking to the dogs or the cat as I’m going about my business.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

As much as I like them every time I get them, bangs! Within a few months I’m done with wanting to deal with the maintenance and they never looks as good as when I first get them done. Some folks look absolutely amazing with bangs, but as a long term thing, they are just not for me.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yes! I love to bake.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

A little bit. With practice I can start to imitate other regions of the US and with enough drinks, I’ve tried an Irish accent.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter with a bit of cinnamon sugar.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

If painting counts, and I’m going to say it does for this, then a nice riverbank landscape I did at a paint and wine studio near me.

58. What would be you dream car?

Jeep Wrangler - like Lorelai’s in Gilmore Girls

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

Not really, I’m mostly focused on getting what I need to done and getting out. I might go through an argument in the shower while I’m washing my hair, but that’s about it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I guess so, but that’s more of the universe is so expansive and I think it’s a little narcissistic to think that we are the only ones occupying it. Besides, if there are no aliens, how will Superman exist to come and save us some day??

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

I don’t, and most of the reason is I don’t believe in them. It’ll pop up in other stuff I’ll be reading, but it always frustrates me that pisces are put at the end of the list so I don’t even try.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

R! Yes, it is my initial, but I also like doing the sign for it in my sign language class. The sign is like you’re crossing your fingers, so it’s like R has some mystery and is keeping a secret.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dinosaurs

64. What do you think about babies?

They are really cute and I like getting to spend some time with them. It can be really fun to watch someone experience so many things for the first time, especially things we take for granted.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. - Worst movie you’ve ever watched?

Leprechaun in the Hood without a doubt!

I’ll tag anyone else who wants to do this! :)

#tagged #tag game

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shadowburner76 · 6 years

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DO THEM QUESTIONS TOO BBY, A L L. O F. T H E M. /ineedtoknowmoarabtsenpaihuehuehqodbaosk/ ( ˘▽˘)teheh--

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?Not really.2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?Four tbh. I don't really like the dark too much?? It isn't 100% afraid of the dark, more of what's within it and watching me, you know?3. The person you would never want to meet?Donald Trump. I'd probably end up beating the shit out of him.4. What is your favorite word?Fuck5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?A weeping willow! I rlly love them and they're so pretty 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?"Oh god"7. What shirt are you wearing?My 'Gaming Peridot' shirt! Hella comfy 8. What do you label yourself as?A Raging Bisexual9. Bright room or dark room?Dark bc nap time10. What were you doing at midnight last night?Tryin to help a fren out11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?Like,, five? I was livin on a farm w/ goats and a cow who thought he was a goat. I also rlly like my age now bc my birbs, cats and pupper12. Who told you they loved you last?My dad. It was kinda awkward 13. Your worst enemy?My mom's boyfriend. He's a dick.14. What is your current desktop picture?I think my last desktop picture on my sisters computer was Zenyetta from OW15. Do you like someone?Possibly 16. The last song you listened to?Wait For It from Hamilton 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?Probably myself 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?My mom and my mom's boyfriend 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?Probably Ohmwrecker?? I'd force him to play video games with me20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)My thighs,, thicc af 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?I'd be taller, have a lil bit of muscle and if wank it22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?Falling asleep in the most uncomfortable places 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?Basements. Don't like em,, never will. I used to be rlly fuckin afraid of mirrors too?? I'd scream and start crying whenever I saw one24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.Steak and cheese, pepper, onion, spinach and ranch 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?Bird clipping, some snack, lighter fluid and so on26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?F r a n c e27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?Captain Morgan 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Weed is legal and you can't do shit about it29. What is your favorite expletive?Fuck30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?Probably my Eevee??31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?Abuse.32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!Japan, France or Greece33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?My cat. Junebug34. What was your last dream about?Tbh I don't know?? I think it was one where I had a twin sister and bad things happened and it ended up with my head bashed into a water fountain and my eye missing.35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?Are you a good person to animals?36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?Yup. All throughout my life. Got sick a lot as a kid and later in life a ton of shit happened and wowow a lot of hospital visits 37. Have you ever built a snowman?Every year38. What is the color of your socks?I don't have any on, but I love my funky socks. They have wild designs and I like to mismatch them39. What type of music do you like?Anything and everything40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?Sunsets41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?Peanut butter and banana 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)Cincinnati Bengals for American football, but I don't rlly know any soccer teams qrivnb never found interest in the sport43. Do you have any scars?Yup. One on my chin, my knees and elbows, forearm, stomach, forearm and abdomen area44. What do you want to be when you graduate?Zookeeper45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?Weight46. Are you reliable?I mean, kinda?? Like I am at times, but then other times I suck complete ass47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?Have you completed your life goals?48. Do you hold grudges?Yes. I hold them very easily and for years at a time49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?An owl and a wolf 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?I accidentally sent a friend a weird picture of my face and I screamed for them to delete their messages and to not look then I sent a crying picture with "hnnng" across the bottom.51. Are you a good liar?Yes52. How long could you go without talking?Like,, three days to never replying ever 53. What has been you worst haircut/style?I cut my hair to ears length and I justSweet child why,, multiple people called me young man too54. Have you ever baked your own cake?Yes55. Can you do any accents other than your own?Yea I pick up on accents vvv easilyI was talking to my sister and slipped into what people would call a "Boston accent" and my sister was like "dude wtf you went all Boston on us,, u doin okay?"56. What do you like on your toast?Butter and jelly 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?A mask for my oc?58. What would be you dream car?Jeep59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.I sing and sit instead of standing60. Do you believe in aliens?Yes 61. Do you often read your horoscope?Nah62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?J or W63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?Why can't it be both???64. What do you think about babies?Please don't put them in my arms,, I don't wanna drop em65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.Penis

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writingwithadinosaur · 7 years

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“You’re a Good Egg” - Oneshot

My Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Eggsy Unwin x Reader

Word Count: 1,588

Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Blood, Cursing, Sort of Panic Attack

Summary: After a bad egg triggers a small attack, a good egg comes to the rescue.

Author’s Note: Okay. Real life story time quickly. I was making breakfast the other morning, I went to go crack three eggs into a bowl so I could make scrambled eggs, as is my normal weekend routine. The first two eggs were normal, but then the last egg was all red when it plopped into the bowl. It apparently triggered something in my head and I was then on my floor, catching my breath and trying to not think of it. I was able to breathe and then knock it all into the sink and start over. But now I am scared to crack eggs and see blood everywhere. Add that to my list of irrational fears.

The plus side of this is that I was able to calm myself down by writing this story idea out. So please enjoy this very selfish piece that I wrote to help me feel better about this morning’s adventure.

Thank you to the ever lovely @the-witching-hours12-3 for letting me talk to her about anything and everything and also beta reading everything I send her!

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

- DreaSaurusREX

It was a seemingly normal Sunday morning. You’d taken the weekend off of work for mental health reasons after a rather bad breakdown. With it being the last day of your mini-break, you decided to make a nice breakfast for yourself.

Your phone went off on the kitchen counter as you ducked into the refrigerator for eggs. Looking down at who texted you, you couldn’t help but smile. Eggsy Unwin.

Eggsy: Mornin’ luv. Feelin alright?

(Y/N): Yeah, I’m doing better. Cookin up some eggs and toast. Want any?

Eggsy: PLEASE. I’m headin’ out of the shop in a bit. I’ll be there soon.

Putting down your phone, you smiled like an idiot. Even though you and Eggsy weren’t romantically involved, you hoped that it would happen eventually. He was your closest mate and understood all of your quirks, irrational fears, and almost everything about you; he was one of the very few people who could actually help you feel okay.

Shaking your head, you snapped out of your Eggsy induced daydream. “Come on, (Y/N). Breakfast. Gotta cook if you wanna eat!”

You put on your favorite playlist of songs from your phone and began to gather everything you’d need: Eggs, cheese, veggies, toast, some fruit, milk, and butter.

Everything was going smoothly. Noshing on some strawberries as you opened the carton of eggs and slightly swayed along to your music. You knew you were going to do the toast last or else it would get wimpy, so it was time to get started on the eggs. To feed both you and Eggsy, it would probably be about five or six eggs.

The first two were perfect, the only bad thing was that you had a bit of egg white on your finger. The feeling of raw eggs on your hands was something that made you uneasy. Usually, you would run your hands under the sink for a second or two, get the slime off of, and then go back to being fine. But you decided to just wait until after you were done cracking all of the eggs you needed.

“I’m probably going to end up getting more on my hands, might as well just wait until the end. It won’t be bad.”

The next three were just as easy as the first two. You decided to do one more just in case. Picking the egg out of the carton and getting ready to tap it against the countertop, nothing felt abnormal. But as soon as you split it in half and plopped it in the bowl, your chest constricted and you felt yourself falter.

There was blood in the bowl. You quickly checked your hands but didn’t see any cuts on yourself. Not knowing what the hell was going on, you leaned over to the sink to rinse your hands and try to control your breathing.

“Maybe it was my imagination?”

That thought was quickly erased after looking into the bowl again. The egg white that surrounded the last egg that you cracked was not clear like it was supposed to be. It was a mucusy, blood red color.

Your brain shut down and your breathing became struggled. You had no idea what about that triggered this reaction, but you knew that this was going to be one of those moments that you carried with you for awhile. Grabbing your phone, you slid down the wall of the counter and focused on breathing and trying to ignore the bowl.

The vibration from your phone made you jump. Looking at the lit up screen, you saw Eggsy’s caller ID picture. You tried your best to not sound out of breath.

“Hello?”

“Hey! I’m leavin’ the shop now. I’m gonna stop at that coffee shop on the way home for a drink. You want me to pick up anythin’?”

“No. I-I’m good. Thanks though.” You knew Eggsy picked up the slight stutter. Shit.

“Somethin’ ain’t right. What’s wrong?” You tried to control yourself, but just attempting to do that right now made things flare up again. It was an almost endless circle that you needed help getting out of, and Eggsy was the only one who could really help. He heard your breathing getting more and more strained and instantly knew what was going on.

“(Y/N)? Sweetheart, talk to me. What’s goin’ on?”

“I was trying to make breakfast… and the egg… there’s blood… I don’t think it's mine but I just… I saw it and I-- Fuck. Eggsy please just get here soon. I can’t even get up and get rid of it I--” You struggled to speak and felt like an idiot when saying all of this out loud

“I’m only a few minutes away. Just keep breathin’ and I’ll be there soon, yeah?”

“Okay.” Your voice failing and making you sound weak. You felt so stupid having this type of reaction to an egg, but you honestly couldn’t help it.

“Hey. It’ll be alright. I’ll be over there soon and I’ll help take care of it.” A small smile found its way on your face.

“The door’s unlocked. Just come in when you get here.”

“I’ll be there in a mo’.” The line clicked off and you went back to breathing and trying not thinking about the bloody egg in your kitchen.

It really only took a few minutes for Eggsy to get to your apartment. You were doing better but stayed on the floor. You didn’t want to accidentally see the contents of the bowl and then have this all begin again. Eggsy dropped his keys on the table before coming into the kitchen and finding you; not paying attention to anything else in the room. JB was with him you could hear the noise of his tiny little feet racing towards you. He jumped into your lap and you started petting him without giving much thought to it. Eggsy saw where JB ran off to and then squatted down to be level with you before speaking.

“Hey. I’m here, luv. You alright?” He inspected your face, seeing if you really were doing okay or not. Then he checked your hands. You had mentioned blood, so he wanted to make sure it wasn’t your blood.

You looked up at him. You seemed to have calmed down a lot, not nearly as bad as some of the other times Eggsy had helped you.

“I’m okay. I just can’t get up and look at the eggs over there.” You pointed to the blue bowl on the counter. Eggsy kissed your forehead and sprang into action.

“I think I can take care of that.” He smiled and got up to look at what had triggered you.

He picked up the bowl and debated for a moment before pouring the eggs down the sink, turning on the water and garbage disposal, and letting it get everything away while he threw away the eggshells that were nearby. He then rinsed out the bowl and set it off to the side to dry before coming back to you. He held out his hands and helped you up off the ground.

“Is that better?” He asked in sincerity.

There was never any mocking when he knew you weren’t doing alright. One of the many things you loved about him. You looked around him and saw that everything that had even a hint of bloody egg white was gone. Nodding your head in response to his question, you were finally able to take in a full breath of relief.

“Thank you. I know it was a really stupid thing to freak out over but I--”

“Why’re you apologizin’? Everyone is set off by different things. And I told you I would help out as much as I could, remember?” You just wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a perfect hug.

“Still… Thank you.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

You both stayed like that for a moment, both of you too content to move. You unwillingly pulled away from him but didn’t get very far. Before you would really let go of him, he pulled you close to him but instead of a hug, you were met with his lips on yours in a gentle kiss. Taken a bit by surprise, you took a second to realize what was going on before you kissed him back. The two of you smiling into the kiss. Everything felt so right. That is, until your stomach decided to sound, making an awful noise like a dying whale. Eggsy laughed at the comedic moment killer but didn’t think badly of it.

“C’mon then. We’ll have time for more of that later.” He winked at you, causing you to roll your eyes. He pecked your lips once more before getting to work on helping you with breakfast.

With everything that had happened this morning, Eggsy took over cracking the eggs into the bowl but then letting you actually cook them. He wasn’t the best cook and worried he would burn them. As you poured the eggs and other ingredients into the pan, he took your phone and put your music back on.

“You know what, Eggsy?” He was stood behind you and had slid his hands around your sides, comfortably perching his head on top of yours.

“What’s up, luv?”

“Even though I’m gonna be wary around eggs, I know I always have one good egg: You.” Eggsy laughed and kissed the top of your head, the two of you enjoying the morning together.

Tags -@the-witching-hours12-3 @theeactress @thomasstanleyhoelland

#kingsman fandom #kingsman fanfiction #kingsman fic #kingsman imagine #eggsy x reader #eggsy unwin x reader #eggsy imagine #eggsy unwin imagine #eggsy unwin fanfiction #You're A Good Egg #writingwithadinosaur #WritingWithADino #DreaREX #dreasaurusrex

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gethealthy18-blog · 4 years

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16 Things to Do With Used Coffee Grounds

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/16-things-to-do-with-used-coffee-grounds/

16 Things to Do With Used Coffee Grounds

I really enjoy the challenge of trying to use every last bit of something.

There are so many wonderful things you can make from things most people throw away. Like making nutrient-dense bone broth from a leftover roasted chicken, or repurposing scarves or brown paper grocery bags to make an eco-friendly gift wrap. These things can be expensive if you buy them anyway, so it’s a win-win!

Used coffee grounds are another great opportunity for recycling, and they have tons of uses that you probably never even thought about!

How to Repurpose Used Coffee Grounds

So many people wake up so fixated on their morning cup of coffee that they toss the grounds right into the trash without a second thought!

However, there are so many wonderful things you can do with used coffee grounds. The next time you go to throw out those lovely grounds out of pure habit, reconsider and see if you’d rather give one of these ideas a try instead.

If you don’t drink coffee but would still like to try any of the following ideas, just bring a clean container to your local coffee shop or Starbucks and ask them to save you their used grounds. If you ask nicely, I bet they’ll comply!

For Your Beauty Routine

You might want to store some of those morning coffee grinds in your shower for your afternoon pick-me-up. You can use it to make your hair shiny, as a body scrub, or even use it as a star ingredient in your next batch of homemade soap.

Eliminate Build-Up in Your Hair

After making the switch to natural shampoo, some people experience build-up in their hair. This is a natural process as your body adjusts to being cleaned without the harsh chemicals that previously stripped your scalp of its natural oils.

Used coffee grounds are great for getting rid of that extra build-up. To exfoliate your hair, use 1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of used coffee grounds, depending on hair length. Wet your hair thoroughly and massage the grounds in, giving special attention to your scalp. It might help to work in sections. Once you have covered the whole scalp, thoroughly wet your hair again and use your natural shampoo to work up a nice lather. Rinse and repeat, if needed. Finish with your normal conditioner or apple cider vinegar rinse.

Repeat this once a month or as needed. I was amazed at how light and shiny my hair felt after just one application!

Note: If you have blonde or color-treated hair, you may want to test an inconspicuous area to make sure the coffee doesn’t change its color. I personally didn’t experience any color change, but it’s best to make sure before you do a full exfoliation.

Make a Body Scrub

Coffee makes a great body scrub. In addition to sloughing off dead skin cells, coffee grounds can help reduce the appearance of cellulite since caffeine has a tightening effect.

If you have ever tried my Vanilla Latte Sugar Scrub, you know how invigorating it is. The coffee grounds and sugar gently exfoliate the skin leaving it soft and smooth. The massaging action also stimulates blood flow, so it’s healthy for your skin as well.

Note that you should use dry coffee for this sugar scrub, as the moisture in used coffee grounds will cause it to go bad.

To make a simple coffee scrub, mix coffee grounds (about ¼ cup) with an equal amount of sea salt and 2 tablespoons of coconut oil. You can also add 5-10 drops of your favorite essential oil. I used peppermint because who doesn’t love the smell of peppermint coffee?

To use, massage 1-2 tablespoons of the scrub into your skin during a shower, focusing on problem areas such as legs, belly, and derriere to fight cellulite. Rinse with warm water. Repeat 2-3 times a week. This amount should be enough for roughly 6 applications. Store in the fridge and use within two weeks.

Make Soap

Coffee grounds make a wonderfully exfoliating addition to homemade soap. Plus, it comes with the same cellulite-fighting powers mentioned above!

To make an extra invigorating shower bar, add 1-2 teaspoons of used coffee grounds per pound of soap after you’ve completed the mixing process.

In the Garden

While coffee itself is acidic, its grounds are actually closer to neutral because most of the acidity is “washed” out when the coffee is brewed. This makes them great for use in the garden! Here’s how to use it.

For Your Compost Pile

If you aren’t composting, you really should give it a try — especially if you have a garden. Composting is really easy to do and adds lots of beneficial nutrients to your soil.

Used coffee grounds are considered green matter for compost and should not make up more than 25% of your pile. If you are just adding grounds from your own coffee pot, you probably won’t add too much if you’re composing enough other material, like grass clippings and eggshells. Coffee filters are biodegradable as well, so go ahead and throw that into the mix!

Help Plants and Flowers Grow

To give your plants a nitrogen boost, scatter used coffee grounds to amend your garden soil and till them into the top few inches. Doing this will help aerate the soil and also give plants a nitrogen boost.

Be sure to spread some coffee grounds on your flower beds as well. Hydrangeas, azaleas, rhododendrons, and other acid-loving plants will bloom better than ever.

Attract Worms

Earthworms love coffee grounds, and that’s a good thing! We want these garden helpers to break down organic matter and move nutrients down into the soil. Plus, if you enjoy fishing, you’ll grow some nice fat worms for your hook.

Keep Pests Away

While coffee grounds attract earthworms, they also act as a repellent for pests like slugs and snails. Make a barrier around plants that are susceptible to these unwanted critters, as they hate the abrasive texture.

Grow Mushrooms

Save on the farmers market splurge and grow your own organic mushrooms at home. You’ll need a lot of coffee grounds for this, so save them up!

Here is a good tutorial on how to grow mushrooms using coffee grounds. I haven’t personally tried this, but it looks like a fun project.

Around the House

Freshen up your cleaning routine with your coffee grind leftovers. You can use it to get odors out of tricky places, or even use them to make cleaning out the fireplace easier (yes, seriously!).

Deodorize the Fridge

You don’t need baking soda for this job! Simply place a bowl of used coffee grounds in your refrigerator to absorb odors, and replace them once a month. Instead of throwing them away, toss them into your compost pile. Congratulations, you got three uses out of this batch!

Clean Your Hands

Used coffee grounds are great for getting odors out of your hands after cooking. Whenever you chop onions or garlic, or work with fish, try scrubbing your hands well with used coffee grounds to remove the lingering smell.

Melt Icy Sidewalks and Driveways

If you ran out of salt to sprinkle on your porch, good news — used coffee grounds will work just as well! The acidity of the coffee combined with the grittiness of its texture makes for an ideal way to melt ice. Use it anywhere after you shovel for best results.

Clear Out the Garbage Disposal

Here’s a satisfying way to use coffee grounds really quickly! Use a very small amount to help deodorize a stinky garbage disposal. Large amounts might clog up the pipes, so be sure to use it very sparingly — and flush it down with lots of water.

Scrub Your Stubborn Pots and Pans

Got build-up on your cookware that even your heartiest sponge can’t erase? Try using coffee grounds to scrape off those stubborn bits of caked-on food. Be sure to rinse thoroughly before setting them in the drying rack. (Or buy non-toxic non-stick pans and save the scrubbing.)

Aids in Fireplace Clean-up

If you have a wood-burning stove or fireplace, old coffee grounds will become your best friend on cleaning day. Before sweeping out those ashes, cover them with a layer of wet coffee grounds to moisten and weigh them down. This will greatly reduce the amount of ash that will float up and coat your living room when you scoop them out.

Get Rid of Fleas

Does Fido have fleas again? Give him a good shampoo, then rub used coffee grounds all over his fur (just don’t let him eat it!). Like slugs or snails, fleas don’t enjoy coffee and this ought to be enough to get rid of most of them. Of course, this is no replacement to a prescription, so check with your vet if this treatment doesn’t work.

Crafts for Kids (or You!)

Feeling artsy? Try these fun ideas for your next creative project.

Create Vintage-Looking Paper

Soaking paper in coffee ground water can add an antique, old-world look to a piece of plain white paper. Bring 1 cup of water to a boil and remove from heat. Stir in 1/2 cup used coffee grounds and let them sit for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then, paint your paper with the coffee water by applying once or twice per side, drying with a hair dryer in between coats. This gives the paper a somewhat stiff, slightly crinkled look and feel that’s perfect for scrapbooking.

For added effect, burn the edges slightly with a lighter. This paper also makes a wonderful treasure map for adventurous kids.

Make Fossils

This is great for school-aged kids. My kids love gathering little sticks and leaves when they are playing outside and they always want to bring them in and use them for crafts and little collections. Make this coffee ground dough and press with leaves, sticks, berries, etc. to make little fossils.

All you need is used coffee grounds, cold, coffee, salt, and flour (hey, just because we don’t eat it doesn’t mean we can’t play with it!)

Make round patties on a baking sheet lined with wax paper and let your kids make impressions using the “nature collection” as my daughter calls it. My kids like to use toy dinosaurs to make footprint impressions too.

Do you repurpose used coffee grounds? Did I miss any ideas? Share below!

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/77840/used-coffee-grounds/

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rebelmeg · 6 years

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65 Questions You Aren't Used To

(I know, it’s an ask meme, but... I just kinda want to do them all. I LOVE this kinda stuff, it’s like writing a nifty journal entry for people that suck at journals, like me.)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Um, no... they’re right there.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1. I’m very comfortable in the dark.

3. The person you would never want to meet? Donald Trump was the first to spring to mind.

4. What is your favorite word? Popcorn. (Because it visually appeals to me, and it feels nice to say. I know, that made literally zero sense. I know.)

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? I always fancied myself a weeping willow, but there is literally nothing willowy about me. Ooh, ooh, can I be a fruitless pear tree?! They turn every color from yellow to purple in autumn and they’re so pretty!

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? Probably something like, “Ew,” or “I need to shower,”.

7. What shirt are you wearing? It’s cute! It’s a gray tunic with a deep V in the front with lacing, and the words, “I’d Rather Not.”

8. What do you label yourself as? Writer.

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright when I’m working, dim when things are winding down, dark as sin when sleeping.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Same thing I’m doing now, screwing around on Tumblr when I should be finishing up and going to bed.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 17 was a good year for me, I found the other half of my heart. Everything before and after was basically a crap shoot.

12. Who told you they loved you last? My daughters.

13. Your worst enemy? Probably myself.

14. What is your current desktop picture? It’s doing a slideshow through my saved file of New Years pictures.

15. Do you like someone? Romantically, just my hubby. He’s awfully cute.

16. The last song you listened to? Listening to “U and Ur Hand” by P!nk right now.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? No one wants me to have this responsibility.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I could prepare a list...

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Oh geez, I have no idea. Who wants to be my slave and clean my house?

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) My eyes! I have pretty eyes.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? I’ve got no idea what I’d look like, I’ve got too much boob and hip going on. I’ll be honest, I’d have to have at least one orgasm, because I’ve always wondered what the difference is.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Secret? Not really, I’m pretty open with all my talents.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Family members dying. I’ve never had a close family member die, and I’m like... ridiculously afraid of that (especially my husband and kids), especially since I’m deeply religious.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. The #11 at Jimmy Johns, plus bacon.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Probably on something stupid. Discount Christmas shirts (I only have one), stuff on my wish.com list and Amazon list, that kind of thing. Takeout from Arby’s.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Europe!

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? No littering.

29. What is your favorite expletive? I can’t say, I’m trying to quit. (And it’s a bad one.) If we’re doing PG rated expletives, I’ve taken to using “son of a nutcracker” and “oh my honk” pretty frequently...

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I know what it is. But I’m not telling all y’all because it’s horrifically embarrassing.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! SCOTLAND. It only gets, like, into the 70′s there in the summer. I can dig that. I’m a freaking polar bear. (Do I get to pick the celebrities I get to fictionally sleep with, because I’ve prepared a list...)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Like, for a visit, or for permanent? Because that’s different. If it was for a visit, I’d bring back one of my two grandparents that have died. I have QUESTIONS. If it was for permanent... if an early term, miscarried baby counts, I’d bring back mine.

34. What was your last dream about? I only get dreams when I’m in that weird “not 100% sleep” state, and man are they bizarre.... and I rarely remember them, but you can trust me that it was weird.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Yes. Yes I am. Exceptionally.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Several times, yeah. Most of them for baby things. (I had the baby, I was not the baby.)

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Oh yes. Not yet this year though, not a really awesome snowfall yet, just a few inches.

38. What is the color of your socks? I’m wearing neon pink and navy blue Black Widow socks that I got from my hubby for Christmas!

39. What type of music do you like? Most of it. Seriously. Country, rock, pop, oldies, alternative, instrumental, show tunes, classical, movie scores, Disney, Celtic and Irish.... seriously. Most of it.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets, sunrises are full of tiredness.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Depends on my mood, really.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) I... don’t. I’m not a sports person unless the Olympics are involved.

43. Do you have any scars? Lots, yeah. Biggest is my c-section scar(s), my favorite is the one on my middle finger from when I sliced it open trying to set up a trampoline. Pro tip, wear gloves, because those springs can slice your finger open when pulled back and loosed.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I’ve already graduated (high school, never went to college and I don’t regret it), I wanted to be married and happy. I’ve mostly succeeded. Still chasing happiness, but I get the golden moments enough that I can call it successful.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Probably body size, mostly because they don’t have a lot of cute clothes in my size and I have no power to change that sad standard.

46. Are you reliable? Almost 100%, yes.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How does Infinity War and Avengers 4 end?

48. Do you hold grudges? Big ones, yes. Little ones, not so much.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? Panda peacock. Because a cute, cuddly panda with peacock colors? Best.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Someone trying to goad me into participating in one of their infantilization fantasies that made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

51. Are you a good liar? I’m an excellent liar. I shouldn’t be proud of that. I am.

52. How long could you go without talking? Does talking to myself count, because I do that a lot...

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The awkward between-phase after I did a shoulder-length bob and needed to grow it out again after my perm started to lose strength too. Poof.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Tons of times. I made my own birthday cake this year.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? I do a pretty decent British (a few dialects), I can pull of Australian, Irish, Scottish, New Zealand, French, and occasionally Russian or German, as long as I get a good audio clip first to jump off of.

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter, or butter with jam/jelly or cinnamon sugar.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? A terrible sketch of Marty the zebra from Madagascar for my three year old.

58. What would be you dream car? A big honking pick-up truck with the full backseat and excellent gas mileage and fuel efficiency.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Okay, the way that is worded is hilarious. I do sing sometimes, when I’ve got music going, but I am pretty quiet since neighbors. I don’t usually do anything unusual, except sticking my loose hairs to the wall so I can wad them up and throw it all away rather than it going down the drain and clogging it.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Not in the traditional sense, but I know we’re not alone. It’s based in religion.

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Rarely. When it pops up in magazines from last year or whatever.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? M, probably, for my name. And, fun trivia, M is the 13th letter of the alphabet, which puts it smack in the middle.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? DRAGONS. I’d have a dragon as a pet if I could. Hagrid and Charlie Weasley would be over all the time.

64. What do you think about babies? They’re cuuuute. Most of the time. Mine were cutest.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. If anyone thinks of something, do ask me. I seriously love this stuff!

#65 questions #about me

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90sgrungelouis · 6 years

Note

ALL 65 QUESTIONS please

OH JESUS FUCK OK HERE GOES

im gonna put this under the cut because ohhhhh lord

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

like in a matrix-y, were all living in a simulation and nothing is real kind of way, or a youre actually living in a coma dream state and ur body is in some hospital right now, OR in the youre actually dead and living a purgatory world and you just dont realize it kind of way? Because yes, all three

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

mmmmmm 3.5, bonus points if its outside

3. The person you would never want to meet?

for the first time? maybe trump, or satan cowbell

4. What is your favorite word?

what are you trying to do huh? thats like making me pick between my children, i refuse to pick

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

oooo maybe a cherry blossom tree that would be nice

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i look a mess

7. What shirt are you wearing?

this tank top my friend designed

8. What do you label yourself as?

sexuality-wise? uhhh jurys still out tbh but im pretty sure im somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and im 90% sure im gay

9. Bright room or dark room?

one lamp

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

crying because i couldnt focus on writing my essay

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

ehhhh

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the ot5 gc :’)

13. Your worst enemy?

grapefruit

14. What is your current desktop picture?

its the default mac one, it used to be a picture of the womens march but my computer fucked up and reset it, ive been too lazy to change it back

15. Do you like someone?

i like many people

16. The last song you listened to?

irresistible by one fuckin dee boi

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

too many people

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

see above

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

nooooooo

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my jazz hands

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

i have no idea bro

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

being the radical gay feminist in my family, its a tough job but someones gotta do it

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

those grates on the floor in the street, i always step around them

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

something vegetarian idk

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

concert tickets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

can it be a one way ticket i want out of this shit country

jose cuervos tequila yasss

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

no bois

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck is always a solid choice. i like using really pg curses too tho like heck or dang

my sick ass memes

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

all of middle school LMFAO

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

sick! that wasnt a question my dude ;)

my pet gerbil

34. What was your last dream about?

idek man

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yea

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

kind of

38. What is the color of your socks?

theyre pink and brown fuzzy bunny socks

39. What type of music do you like?

i used to think i only listened to indie but its a really varied mix of punk indie and top 40 tbh

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

both

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

cant go wrong with vanilla

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

yikes

43. Do you have any scars?

yes

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

haha

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

ehhhh

46. Are you reliable?

maybe?

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

where do i end up bro

48. Do you hold grudges?

ohhh heck yea. i tend to them, like little pets

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a UNICORN DUDEEEE

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

ur asking a person who has a memory of a goldfish

51. Are you a good liar?

not really

52. How long could you go without talking?

probably a couple days

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

i think ive been ok so far

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

ofc

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

im terrible at those

56. What do you like on your toast?

anything you got

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

halloween doodles

58. What would be you dream car?

maybe a jeep? idk

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

ehhhhh

60. Do you believe in aliens?

who do you think i am

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

sign me up for that astrology shit

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

u (hehe see what i did there)

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

theyre cool i guess

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

idk what to do with this one soooooo tada!! i finished it woop

#this took so long and im dead #ask

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archivesdiveronarpg · 7 years

Photo

Congratulations, LESLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of CLAUDIUS. Admin Bree: Put simply, this application was everything I’ve been looking for in a Clark app and more. You nailed him from start to finish, from your analysis to your interview (his cigarette, his nagging conscience) to the faintly nostalgic para sample (the violin, in particular). You brought him to life in all of his terrible, tragic glory, and I can’t thank you enough for applying. I can’t wait to see what you do with him on the dash! Welcome to DiVerona! Your request to change his faceclaim to Richard Armitage has also been accepted. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Leslie

Age | 17

Preferred Pronouns | She/her

Activity Level | I’m attending summer school by June and school starts in July, which means I’ll inevitably come across busy weekdays and weekends. However, my activity is mostly still dictated by how much muse I have for my character. Writing is never an issue for me so long as my muse hasn’t been milked dry that day.

Timezone | GMT +8

Current/Past RP Accounts | My accounts can be found here (x), here (x) and here (x). Most of my experience, as you may as well realize, are from only city RPs so I’ll be deviating from my comfort zone here, should I get accepted!

In Character

Character | Claudius (Clark Godrej). While I love Cillian Murphy, could you possibly see Richard Armitage in his stead? This is only a secondary concern, though!

What drew you to this character? | Is it considered a crime if you, at age seventeen, have not read any Shakespeare play? Of course I’ve seen adaptations of Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, and Much Ado About Nothing, but other than that my knowledge on Shakespeare is nada. The initial knowledge I have of Claudius comes from Cliffsnotes (I especially like the part where the writer calls him ‘morally deficient’ and how he sacrifices humanity and humanness to acquire his goals), but reading his biography just made him more interesting for me.

It’s easy to conclude from first glance that Claudius is some sort of psychopath, but I believe that he is far more than that. C (I hope you don’t mind if I use this in future reference to him) has the makings of a Byronic character: plots spread across his life nothing short of tragedies, with misery and scorn imbued in his heart although still capable of love. More than that, however, I see him as possessing an inferiority complex stemming mainly from being constantly behind his older brother, whose shadow still rightfully looms his very movements to this day. Fusing Byronic characteristics with inferiority and you have yourself a deeply flawed character. As a writer, I aim to make my characters written in such a way that they aren’t just an overplayed trope.

Additionally, while he’s an emissary of the Montagues, his true loyalty lies within himself and himself alone—doing everything with his interests in mind, his mob allegiance only taking second place to his selfishness. Though what is important here is why he has become so selfish in the first place—and the answer lies with his older brother yet again. He’s neither owned nor valued in his life, and the barest semblance of anything that could become his he takes so with passion. This has especially struck me personally, considering that I’m a little bit of a greedy prick in real life (what can you do? Haha) but I do so with a justification it’s just me “taking back what I’ve lost”. And that’s primarily what C has become. So much has been taken from him that when the opportunity presents itself to “steal” something which is his brother’s own, he does so with a smile on his face, because he thinks—he knows—this is what he deserves. Him loving his brother’s wife and him killing his brother, however, are other stories entirely.

Despite all my ramblings, I don’t think I’ve definitively answered why I damn well love C so much already. He’s suffered most his life and from that he becomes a truly grey character for whom it is difficult to sympathize with, and with good reason. He’s malicious, selfish, and bitter; on the other hand, he’s driven, loyal to a fault, and extremely calculating in his methods. Without a doubt, C is human and everything that entails – a product of life’s calamities and fleeting radiance.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

Giya | Similarly to the third-season villain in The Legend of Korra (I can’t help but make a reference!), the one thing that tethers the villain to the ‘earthly realm’ is that of his one true love. I imagine that C will approach her death with the same approach as he did his brother’s own. He’ll be throwing himself to his work in an effort to erase all memory of her, but this fails with even the barest mention of her name. It will be an interesting and admittedly difficult challenge to paint him as anything but irredeemable after that point, because what else is there for him to live for in this goddamn world? The thought process would be unreal. In his mind, he’s killed for nothing. Now both his brother’s and Giya’s deaths lull in his conscience. Nightmares come more than ever before, as if compensating for their scarcity back then. Her death has unlocked in him a weakness that he so wishes to eradicate. Ultimately, though, I just want to see how he can grow from all this. He truly doesn’t have anything holding him back now, which leads to him becoming more reckless than ever.

Gallows (TW: suicide ideation) | Whether he be huddling in stacks under stacks of books or requesting that he take on other responsibilities aside from his job’s conventions, C is unwittingly distancing himself from others. He’s a tightly wound up storm and within good reason—in his perspective the universe throws tragedy to him constantly. So tightly wound is he that when he’s approached with the subtlest impression of compassion the storm comes resurging. Because, in the deepest trenches of his organ writhing underneath his ribcage, there remains still sentiment that motivates him to live. But he is so good at hiding his emotions, so good that I fear the inevitable numbness will push him further and further the edge. That being said, I desire for him to have even one friend to whom he can open up. It’s scary and characteristically unnatural for him to do so, but without a support system, I have an inkling that he’ll believe death is the only escape to the horrors he’s lived.

Gone Wrong | The brazen hiss of a car tire as it glosses over a roughly cemented road. Bones and synapses and organs smashed as his air bag failed to protect him from the damage. Lungs filled with inhaled carbon monoxide. Eyes dimmed, with only blinding white light in his line of sight. A fire developing from the car engine. Himself, unable to escape. C is a perfectionist above all. And while he’s internally already broken, I’d like to explore how physical incapability and how the loss of work – the only thing that keeps him going now – influences his actions. Always one to stubbornly brush off help, there’s no telling how he’ll fare on his own. In his perspective, such an accident is his past’s way of coming back to haunt him.

In Depth

The following THREE questions must be answered in-character, and in para form (quotations, actions written out if applicable, etc). There is no minimum or maximum limit for your response - simply answer as you would were you playing the character.

TW: suicide ideation

The pair opposite each other on a shadowy nook in the comfort of his home. Separating them is an old mahogany coffee table smattered with scratches and even a bite mark, stemming from a former dog of whom he’s now disposed. A glass ashtray, whose surface has turned the color of tar, sits on the middle. Two glasses of water—the lone thing which Clark has prepared for them both, actual sustenance be damned—is placed strategically on its sides, as if guarding the ashtray’s secrets. Crossing his legs and drumming his fingers endlessly on the arm rail, he waits impatiently for the other’s question, having no desire except to continue his day per usual.

“What is your favorite place in Verona?” The interviewer asks, expression of pure civility.

A shake of his head, fingers flicking his cancer stick before it finds its way between his lips once more. A click of a lighter is heard as he alights his cigarette and begins to induce poison in and out his lungs.

Momentary silence is observed before his chapped lips part to repeat the other’s words. “My favorite place in Verona…” He muses, crossing his arms over his chest which serves as another means of defense. He decides not to give an honest answer, and having easily mastered the art of deceit he’s certain that the other will believe him regardless of his utterance.

“…is the capital library.” Then again, his response carries an undercurrent of truth. He neither wholly desires the fragrance of old books wafting through shelves that shadow the most miniscule of moves nor the hushed atmospheres upon which even a mellow laugh of a child is contorted into something ominous. He craves, in their stead, the peril lurking above the bookshelves and away from an entire city’s line of sight. It is among one of his safe spaces, a place where he can tread with peers of similar ideologies, those who have learned to accept him despite the rage bubbling underneath his system.

But you’re still lying. A conscience, faded but still ingrained into the back of his mind, tells him. He daren’t admit it to anyone, but the bridge dividing both parties is where his heart lies. The Castelvecchio stands unwitting of its role in the raging civil war, and he’s loath to think how much tragedy it has seen. And oh how he desires to trace both the footsteps of Capulets and Montagues and to discern how many of them have taken their last steps here—

—and how sometimes, when his heart is heavy and his shoulders become too heavy laden, when all efforts of alleviating the pain becomes all for naught, he imagines how it feels like to jump from one of its stones and into the raging river underneath.

But that is a story for a later day. Now, all that concerns him are finishing his cigarette. And this ruddy interview.

The other man taps his feet ceaselessly on the mahogany floor, eager to write his words yet again. But Clark is not one to satisfy another. In fact, he relishes in taking away their pleasure. Let him experience a twinge of suffering, a lone crevice of his mind says, let him.

A gleam in his eyes is evident yet again as he throws the stick somewhere, making neither moves to throw it properly nor extinguishing its tip. Let it burn. His conscience says treacherously.

He sees the impatient expression plastered on the other’s face, and a faint gale of laughter escapes past his lips. “Oh, do you want me to continue?” He utters, raising a single brow. “You’re not going to get an answer more than that.”

“What does your typical day look like?” The man almost stammers now, but ever so quick on his feet, disguises the gaffe with a small cough.

His head tilts, ever so slightly, at the candid inquiry. A perfectly-sculpted mask shatters only in the rarest of occasions and today is no exception. His face is still, devoid of emotion, with only those who have been trained in the art of distinguishing the cartography of Clark’s face having the knowledge of where to look. The faint curl of his lips is suggestive of sinisterism rather than of genuine amusement, cerulean blue irises glimmering with that of the sweet smell of danger.

“Shall I bore you with the details?” Clark leans back on his chair, folding his hands on his lap as he does so. His eyelids flutter shut as he inhales the remnants of nicotine looming in the air, a fleeting repose to boredom.

“That’s why I’ve been brought here.” The interviewer does not even attempt to conceal his slight annoyance.

Let him wait. His conscience, or at least whatever is left of it, speaks. These days the small voice in the back of his head only serves to vex him all the more. Sometimes it speaks well, but far more frequently it does its stark opposite. The latter now speaks to him, in a cold, calculating way that almost mirrors his own speech.

A shallow laugh bubbles and escapes from his system before he can stop it. “Don’t tell me you’re actually interested in the makings of an emissary. Wouldn’t you rather learn about the boss, who sits atop his throne? Or their second-in-command, whose deeds are so dark they can bring the diablo on his knees? Or the advisers, whose words occasionally serve much better than the soldiers’ actions?”

There is no response on his opposite’s part. He continues.

“Or wouldn’t you rather learn about the unspeakable?” Clark leans forward, looking side by side as if to keep a secret from an invisible audience. “Wouldn’t you rather learn of a thief in the night, strutting across the room as their eyes fixate on another silhouette? Wouldn’t you rather learn of a man with quiet, calculated steps, stifling his would-be victim’s mouth with a handkerchief and plunging a knife into their back? Wouldn’t you rather learn of a man whose arm contains now a trail of crimson as he remorselessly leaves his victim, who has lips growing purple with each passing second and their skin flaking at the slightest touch?”

He sees him now, swallowing in fear as Clark utters his sentences.

Fear is what he does best, he thinks.

“…that beats talking about mundane business trips, no?”

The interviewer conceals none of his fright, almost instinctively taking the glass of water and, putting his lips onto its brim, drank its contents until it is half-empty.

“Erm… I suppose we should skip to the last question,” the interviewer speaks, “what are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?”

“You want the truth?” Clark replies, almost gnashing his teeth.

The interviewer nods, gaze fixated at him, as if daring him to finally venture onto the realm of honesty.

“Who was it that said, ‘All war is a symptom of man’s failure as a thinking animal?’ Sun Tzu, or John Steinbeck?”

“I believe it was Steinbeck.”

“And it was Einstein, was it not, who said that ‘killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder’?”

Another nod of the interviewer’s head.

“I believe in neither,” Clark speaks, voice carrying an undercurrent of exhaustion. His next words are a product of his mind’s quiet, feeble surrender, letting his walls down ever so slightly. There is no doubt on the authenticity of his words. “War is humanity’s greatest achievement. We have grown past the point of conventions and conformity to the extent we wage battles in an effort to fight for our ideologies. In war, we see the best and the worst of mankind. Innocents cry for help and the braves deliver. In war, there comes innovation and breakthroughs, inventions that wouldn’t have otherwise been made if we remained not in distress. War makes heroes and victims of us all. War is not a dishonor to civilization but rather its saving grace.

“That being said, who am I to judge as to whose faction is in the right? One man’s enemy is another man’s freedom fighter, and the Capulets and the Montagues understand this. In both points of view, there is no senseless brutality but justified hatred. And while I belong to the latter faction, if I had been born on the other side of the tracks, I most likely would’ve followed suit on the other team.”

Moments of defenselessness aren’t especially sought after by him, but Karma’s ugly cousin Fate ought to have thought otherwise following this encounter’s inevitability. Even while he is having the conversation his candor stings, like a snake’s venomous bite, as if the serpent seething in his system desires nothing more than to sear its scales permanently onto pale flesh. To bring back the mask he’s slowly uncovered.

Heedless of mind’s qualm, he continues, “I’m a selfish man. I do things primarily for my own gain. I’ve forgotten how it’s like to care for another. Being an emissary is just a job. I don’t expect, nor anyone should expect, that I be a hero.”

Gradually pushing himself out of his chair, Clark begins to take out another cigarette stick from his breast pocket. I’ve said too much. He muses internally as he lights the cigarette and brings it between his lips, unable to resist nicotine’s sensual destruction. Walking over to where the interviewer sat, Clark brings his free hand on their shoulder, he utters:

“Enough is enough.”

In-Character Para Sample: We do require one in-character para sample. Again, write as much or as little as you need to get your interpretation across.

01.

In his hand, he holds a picture frame of himself and his music teacher. It’s dingy and dusty from decades of wear and tear, its outlines faded as if adding a natural vignette. It has been long, too long, since he’s last held his much-loved string instrument. It is rare, almost nonexistent, that his work be entailed with bouts of rhythmic resonance.

From happier times, it’s captioned.

“Clark Godrej,” his teacher once said, “you are a promising violinist.”

He remembers those days where sonorous notes weaved by his fingers fill the room as effortlessly as a summer breeze. He remembers the violin’s warm vibrato that dispels the sorrow surround him. He remembers the magnified, thunderous applause befitting for an artist of his talent. As a child four feet ten tall, he is the smallest of performers, pale and porcelain skin serving only as another reminder of his fragility.

But the string instrument is far from the only thing which he manipulates. He has trained the line of his lips to contort into a smile; eventually it becomes a part of him. A smile, seamlessly orchestrated, with no single note amiss, and with every chord struck with the neatest precision. It is a trick he uses as a means to hide the darkness coursing through thin veins. He performs this smile every time he takes a bow on the stage, with his parents and brother distinctively absent.

Even as a child, Clark’s memory has never been quite fickle. But at some points there is a failure of clarity, a glitch in the well-oiled machinations that is his consciousness.

He remembers small things.

He remembers the young Clark as he leaves the recital is a torrential downpour of rain. The pitter-patter of his ruined leather Oxfords as he makes the way back to the Godrej home. Even then it seems to him like Fate’s bitter laughter, taunting and flagrant in its repose.

He remembers himself staggering through the family’s doorsteps like an animal venturing into a new cage. The case enclosing his violin is wet all over, having used it to safeguard his own body.

He remembers a silhouette carefully approaching him. “You’re late.” His father speaks first, lips curled into a grim line.

He remembers himself mussing up his hair, droplets of rainwater stuck to his raven locks dampening his fingers. “It was raining.” He chimes in gently. “Did I miss dinner?”

He remembers the tension looming between the pair like thick musk, carrying an undercurrent of disapproval. “You did.” The words roll out of bared teeth. Like a statue his body hardens, swallowing in fear as he sees his father’s tightly-wound features. “Did you do this on purpose again?”

He remembers himself not listening. “Of course not. What’s for me to gain?” His remark is uttered as a faint mumble, as if his speech is still uncertain to tread another lie. He remembers not wanting to be there, not at all, not in a family dinner where his brother was celebrated and himself all but ignored. “I’d rather rest, if that’s alright by you.” The sigh he releases from his system is heavy and resolute.

He remembers his father not wishing to rescind, instead pushing on his inquiry. “Do you think this is some sort of game, Clark?” His father doesn’t wish to rescind, instead pushing on his inquiry.

It is at this point that his mind fails him, drawing a blank where there should’ve been a memory.

But he does remember this:

He remembers a resounding, echoing slap.

He remembers a hand-shaped bruise on the side of his cheek as he looks at himself in the mirror the next day. It stings at the slightest touch.

He remembers a quiet breakfast.

He remembers darkness.

And he remembers a violin, split in two.

(The next two are just drabbles for a graphic for his relationships with Haresh and Giya that I gave up doing because I have 0 Photoshop skills whatsoever haha)

02.

His grief, like many things about him, is tightly concealed. No one will know about his running as soon as the wake came to a close, his legs failing him, and him sinking to his knees as soon as he opens his front door. No one will know how he takes one look at his bare flat and realizing how bereft he truly is of company and friends and anything akin to love. No one will know how he untangles his tie and wishes that he can also untangle himself from his mask of feigned indifference, worn so constantly that it’s already been seared permanently into his flesh. No one will know how he prays that night, prays with only God as his witness, asking for a mantra of reconciliation even though he knows his deed is unforgivable.

No one can know.

He is Cain, and he will carry his sin to the grave.

And when Death does come to find him, as it shall inevitably, whether today or tomorrow or the next, Clark will point his gaze right back. His eyes will brim with tears, unshed and unspoken, for it is only in his last moment that he can expunge his prolonged sorrow.

03.

Long has he past brave illusions for a happier and more radiant tale, plots coated with no small amount of deluged tragedies and stuck in a ceaseless discourse with Fate, ever so realistic in its manifestation. Hope for his tale’s possible saccharine resolution bid its farewell so long ago leaving him with only bare remnants of opportunities for felicity, but when the shadows grew too long and the days felt too short, he tenaciously and persistently hanged onto these loose ends.

But as Giya’s thread, too, is cut loose, he finds himself holding onto nothing.

And what else is there to live for?

Extras:

Pinterest (x) Inspo tag (x) There isn’t a lot round here, but hopefully it works. X Playlist (x) Element: Fire MBTI: ENTJ “The Commander” Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Primary Vice: Pride Primary Virtue: Prudence

Headcanons:

GIYA. The way I see it, Clark first sees Giya as his brother’s property. So when their mutual attraction is made known, Clark is obviously ecstatic, for he’s acquiring something that was rightfully his brother’s own. Somewhere along the road, however, he does fall in love with her to a fault, enough for murder to come into play. That said, Giya is the only person Clark has ever opened up to, and that list includes his parents and his brother. There’s no one on Earth he would kill – or die – for. It is because of this reason that her death affects him more than his brother’s own. Love is something he’s gone through decades by without, and with her absence comes him growing more and more detached from reality.

MENTAL ILLNESS. I wrote Clark with the idea that he is suffering from psychotic depression. Having been diagnosed with a mood disorder with psychotic features myself, I believe I am able to do this interpretation justice. I’ve already made evident some of his symptoms in the interview and para samples, including irritability, difficulty concentrating, talks or threads of suicide, isolation, and psychotic features such as hearing things that aren’t present. Still, this remains undiagnosed, considering he’ll probably go set something on fire before he goes to a therapy session.

FAMILY. While he had a relatively good upbringing, one incident comes to mind (as is evident in the para sample) that serves as his breaking point. By no means was his father abusive, but the ordeal turned into a heated debate that led to a physical squabble which has permanently blacked out from his system. It further sets up his animosity towards his family and his envy towards his dear, darling brother.

MUSIC. Classical music is his go-to genre, while his violin is his favored string instrument. He owns a Merano 4/4 purple violin.

APARTMENT. His apartment is quaint and comes equipped with a small living room, a kitchen, and a bedroom on the upper floor which is a converted loft. Despite this he keeps it meticulous, save for a few cigarette butts here and there.

SEXUALITY. Clark is demiromantic, but experiences sexual attraction to both men and women. That being said, he doesn’t exactly search for sexual conquests. He lets it develop naturally, and if the chemistry is there, he pushes forward.

He smokes way too much.

I wrote Clark with the idea that he carries himself with a malicious streak, eager to make others fear him, lest they actually see through his mask and attempt entrance.

#accepted #accepted: claudius

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