#i actually don't think this is that sad tbh

[kithj]

IM THE PERSON WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT THINGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE SINCE WE LAST SPOKE A FEW DAYS AGO And i agree about how sad it is that most queer horror authors i dont vibe with. do you have any you DO like? im always on the lookout for more and from what i’ve seen of your book taste on here we have pretty similar taste in books. can be any genre of horror tbh im not picky

hehehe yes i'd love to give u some recommendations! though if i'm being honest i really haven't found that many authors in the genre that i really vibe with yet. im still on the hunt... may leitz is probably the only one i can recommend that is kinda in the same vein as the "popular" ones, but Leitz is someone who i think does well balancing the extreme aspects of it with characters that are actually interesting and sympathetic to read (as opposed to just one-dimensional cannon fodder for random violence)

i don't know if any of these authors actually refer to themselves as "queer horror" authors nor do i know with certainty if all of them are a part of the lgbt community, but um. well i like their books. these also all aren't strictly about the characters identity; some focus more on it than others so i'll just say it's horror + lgbt characters.

i'll start with extreme horror:

fluids by may leitz - this will be the most extreme book i recommend, and i've talked about it a few times before. it's about two women, named Dahlia and Lauren, who meet on tinder during the pandemic, and after only a few days of talking Lauren takes it upon herself to drive to Dahlia's hometown and try and "save" her. things escalate, and the two women's paths diverge. cw: extreme violence and gore, rape, incest (the two girls pretend to be related), emetophobia, suicide, eating disorder, murder, literally everything you can think of. this is Extreme Horror, and i wouldn't recommend this one for anyone that's not already familiar with the genre.

girl flesh by may leitz - while i didn't like this one as much as fluids, i'm just a fan of may leitz's writing in general so i'd still recommend it. this one has a bit of a pacing problem & does a lot of telling rather than showing, but i like the direction leitz takes this one in the end. i've talked about this one before too so you might remember me rambling about it. this one is about two women who are kidnapped and wake up restrained in a dirty hotel in the middle of the texas mesa. they work together to escape their captors as well as the wild mesa and maybe even fall in love a little bit on the way. cw: extreme violence, gore, transphobia/deadnaming, eating disorder, emetophobia, self-harm, rape. this one isn't as extreme as fluids but i'd still be cautious with it.

to be devoured by sara tantlinger - this one is a short novella you can read in one sitting. Andi really really really wants to know what carrion tastes like. she's fascinated by the vultures that circle the edge of her property, but her fascination soon turns to obsession, and Andi will stop at nothing to learn their secrets. cw: blood consumption, cannibalism, violence and gore, very graphic animal harm and animal death

okay now the rest are just more general horror:

house of hunger by alexis henderson - loosely based on the legend of Elizabeth of Bathory, this story takes place in a society that runs on blood. Marion travels to the House of Hunger to begin her term as a bloodmaid under Countess Lisavet, who has a mysterious ailment that renders her weak and bedbound unless she has a constant flow of blood to treat it. Marion gets to know the other bloodmaids, and in time begins to realize not all is as it seems at the House of Hunger. cw: blood consumption, violence, abusive relationships/gaslighting, death

alexis henderson has also written the year of the witching, and she just announced an academy for liars. i really like her writing so i plan to check out her other work soon-ish.

apparitions by adam pottle - again i talked about this one recently so you may have seen it already, but i NEED more people to read this book. this follows the story of a young man who was born deaf and raised in an abusive household until he was able to escape as a teenager, only to be institutionalized immediately after. there he meets another deaf teen, and for the first time in his life, he has a language that he can speak with and can finally be understood. cw: child abuse, institutionalization, homophobia, abusive relationship, ableism, violence, death, religious trauma, animal harm and animal death.

the luminous dead by caitlin starling - gyre price is a lone caver swaddled inside a hi-tech suit that allows her to dive deep underground to map mineral deposits off-planet. however, the person on the other end of the suit has other plans, and easily takes control of gyre and her suit, putting the two at odds with each other as gyre spirals into uncertainty and paranoia while also having to deal with the terrifying presence of the tunneler. cw: claustrophobia, death, forced drugging, violence, gore, abusive/toxic relationship

caitlin starling also has a few other books though i haven't gotten around to reading them yet and i honestly haven't heard much about them so i can't say how they compare, but the luminous dead is one of my favorites of all time.

the Sworn Soldier series by T. Kingfisher - i love these books, they're just short fun horror stories with a really charming main character. Alex Easton is a retired soldier from Gallacia, and has their own special pronouns in Gallacian (kan/kanself) as part of their occupation and culture, and is what we would consider nonbinary (not all soldiers identify this way, but Alex does). vicars in Gallacia use van/vanself, there are different pronouns for children and adults, etc. i think it's just really interesting and i enjoy what the author has done with the worldbuilding and language, and how seamlessly it fits into her writing. the first book is a retelling of the fall of the house of usher (and is the stronger of the two) while the second one has Alex returning home to Gallacia and facing off with an old Gallacian superstition that's haunting their family cottage.

again i don't really know how T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon personally identifies but i do recommend her writing regardless, she's written other horror books as well as some fantasy books & she's just incredibly skilled imo, easy and fun to read.

most of my TBR that i'm working towards is horror so maybe i'll update this post later with more.... i'm currently reading providence girls by morgan dante and into the drowning deep by mira grant.

morgan dante has a few other books that are all some flavor of gothic horror/romance and i'm very excited for their new book that just came out TODAY that's a carmilla/elizabeth of bathory reimagining. i'm planning on reading that Immediately (i preordered it) so i'll report back for it and once i finish providence girls, too.

the next few books on my TBR that are all lgbt + horror:

The Seep by Chana Porter

Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk

A Dowry of Blood & An Education in Malice, both by S.T. Gibson

Little Rot by Akwaeke Emezi (i think this one is a thriller actually and also isnt out yet but whatever. i recommend this author, they genre-hop a lot & have a decent amount of work published already)

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

and of course i always recommend looking up content warnings if you need to especially for the last few since i haven't read them myself and can't vouch for them just yet. but ummm hopefully you see something you like 😭 i'll stop yapping <3

#sorry i do favor f/f pairings or sapphic characters in books and thats kinda obvious here lmfao #anyways. thanks for enabling me to talk about books <3 #i really want to read the seep ive been dying to get to it. nyehilism recommend it to me mwah #into the drowning deep is beating my ass i WILL finish it today so i can move on #i'll probably post about it here once i finish i have Thots about it already #oh also i just looked and caitlin starling's newest book is under st martin's press which is being boycotted atm #so that's probably why i havent seen anything #the luminous dead is under harper voyager tho #ask #anonymous #long post

[conkers-thecosy]

I wanted to talk about my original works for a bit, if that's okay?

So I've been thinking about my original stories more and more lately. I have so many ideas and WIPs, some of them at various stages of completion, and until recently I really didn't think anyone would be interested in them. I'm still not sure, but a few folks have expressed an interest now, and idk, it just makes me want to have a go.

I won't lie, I did consider messing about with some of them and turning them into fanfiction (The Prince & The Botanist, for example, I started way before I fell into the bagginshield fandom, but I can honestly say it wouldn't take much for me to tweak my OCs, which is pretty funny in retrospect) because honestly, all I've ever wanted as a writer is for people to read and enjoy what I put out, you know?

I've started a little collection of "first chapters" on AO3 for my original projects so that folks can have a look and let me know what they think. I'm fully open to feedback and suggestions on how I ought to progress with any of them - so long as it's constructive.

Initially all these projects started because I wanted to write a collection of stories about queer people, that weren't actually about them being queer. I'm hesitant to give too many details here, but a young girl I know very well (and have known for all her life tbh) recently came out to me, and one of the things we both have in common is that we love to read. The more I thought about her, and the state of the world, and the kind of queer books I was reading at her age, it just made me a bit sad. Being queer isn't everything we are, and we deserve fairytales, murder mysteries, jewel heists, masquerades, eldritch horrors, fake marriages, and romance without all the bigotry that so often comes up in queer lit.

Don't get me wrong, I understand why it's there - it's our lived experience! I've done it too, put homophobia in fanfiction for The Hobbit and poor "queer" Bilbo Baggins, because that social isolation and desperation to fit in is my own experience as someone who was closeted for a good long while, in very conservative surroundings. But I just thought it might be nice too, to write stories where that just... isn't a thing?

I'm probably rambling at this point, haha 😅 I guess what I'm trying to say is that I do really want to revisit all these stories, and I know folks won't be even nearly as interested in them as they have been in my fics. I'm just not sure what to do with them, I guess!

#conkers corner #all's fair #the prince and the botanist #tpatb #queer lit

[bloggingboutburgers]

...Maybe queerbaiting can only ever mean homobaiting or transspecbaiting

Idk don't kill me those are just cans of worms

#no one can know i don't like sex #queerbaiting #asexual #aromantic #aroace #not 100% a hot take but i doubt aro ace bait actually exists tbh #because i don't think writers and audiences care about aro or ace people enough to even think of writing them as bait #it's in THAT sad a state #my art #nonburger

[ineed-to-sleep]

So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally #this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta #she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times #vtm #vtmb #the fledgling #brujah #oc.vince #oc.pepper #ship: viper #sleepyscribble #she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee #she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him #but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust #and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to #and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred #but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid #no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen #she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin #ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻

[thevoiceofdesertbluffs]

THE DOG Island is such a great game because you get it and you're like "ohhh such a cute and innocent game for kids" and then The Horrors

#goosey rambles #the dog island #sorry a post about it got me thinking about it again... #i watched all the cutscenes just today to try and jog my memory on some stuff AND IT TURNS OUT I DID REMEMBER MOST KEY THINGS #but anywho. Yeah it freaked my sister and I out as kids #because just suddenly the fate of the fucking world is dropped onto your shoulders by a scary lady #and also you do literally everything in that game for the sole purpose of saving your dying sibling #IT'S A FUCKING SAD GAME IT'S REALLY DECEIVING #anyways #sorry for the rant in the tags #i think it's a bit of an underrated gem tbh #tho tbf my sister was the one who actually played it... idk maybe the controls n gameplay don't hold up but #ough

[musicalchaos07]

Stranger Things AU - Jancy as Paranormal Investigators Moodboard

Jonathan Byers was 13 the first time he saw a ghost, he screamed so loud he nearly woke the neighbors. Seven years and one brief stint in Pennhurst later, he's crisscrossing the country with his girlfriend, dispelling rumors, exorcising poltergeists, and trying to bring families closure. Nancy Wheeler is first and foremost a skeptic, so naturally, it's her boyfriend who can see spirits. And if it weren't for her own personal experience with a haunting she wouldn't believe him. She doesn't trust half the stories they hear, but she's not about to let him go investigate the paranormal on his own.

#I told y'all AU no 4 was silly-goofy #Me: WHAT IF I TAKE THE SAD BOY AND MAKE HIM SADDER #Jonathan has powers actually #picture it they're 20 staying in shitty motels when they can solving murders using jonathan's I see dead people powers #super in love but it's the 80s so they lie that they're married #and then ppl are like you're too young to be married do your folks know and they dodge that like the plague #Nancy 100% ran off with Jonathan and only Mike knows where she is meanwhile Jonathan calls home every other night #Jonathan frequently feels guilty about not being good for Nancy and Nancy is like u r the saddest boy ever I'm gonna fuck u #Love that for her tbh #idk how they have money maybe Nancy sends in articles don't think to hard we're here for a silly goofy time #also Lonnie's bitchass def threw him in Pennhurst #I have too many thoughts about this AU #stranger things #Jancy #st au #jancy au #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #jonathan x nancy #nancy x jonathan

[deiscension]

I've mentioned before that S.hi Q.ingxuan has codependent tendencies and usually said so in a light-hearted "haha yeah watch out she'll latch onto your muse like a leech" manner but it really is a major problem that sets her up for nothing but failure.

Everything she does, from the way she dresses to the way she handles her responsibilities, cries "look at me, look at me!" Some of it has to do with vanity and having been spoiled by her ge's attention, yes; she's pretty, she's kind, she's the lady wind master, so why shouldn't she be admired and adored? A good majority of it is just naturally how she is; even when keeping face, she's never once thought to hide the heart she so openly wears on her sleeve. If it were just those two facets of her personality, it wouldn't be so debilitating. But it's not. She does not know how to exist without being seen. It's not a lack of confidence in who she is as a person (she knows who she is- she thinks she knows -and she's so very confident in who she believes herself to be). But that confidence has a foundation based in there always being a hand to hold, always a back to hide behind, always a pair of arms to catch her when she falls, and if there's just one thing she knows how to do it's to be a persistent presence. Everyone needs someone else around, so it all works out quite nicely, doesn't it? She has no reason to believe otherwise.

#▌ ◈ shi qingxuan ; ⌜ study ⌟ #man. man... goes from crying look at me look at me to crying don't look please don't look at me ever again #i think i have more to add.. i definitely do actually but brain spaghetti. #i'm 100% serious too it's a massive problem in canon AND in my other verses #all i got.. hough... i may be reading too far between the lines (i definitely am) but sqx has SO many attachment issues #it can be comedic at times but rlly it's just. sad. it's REALLY really sad. #i think alllll the time ab how sqx started passing those tests way too late #it's my strongest piece of evidence tbh #still largely reliant on 'ming yi' and xie lian's moral support but she FINALLY stands up to swd MULTIPLE times. BUT TOO LATE! #(i say this also knowing there's a lot to unpack with the shi sibling dynamic) #GIRL LET GO OF THE HAND YOU'RE HOLDING. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHOSE IT IS! (metaphorically speaking. ish.) #shi qingxuan my beloved. u are so doomed i love you so fawking much.

[rowenabean]

#the wedding was lovely and i am so sad #managed to get most of the sad out of the way Friday and Sunday so i could be glad for them on the actual wedding day #but still. i'm going to miss her. #we always talked about living together and we never did and now we probably never will #i've got a model of married folk living together in community but i don't think they do and it has to be something you choose #her family are lovely and i was really glad to meet her friends and cousins that she talks about so often but they don't really get it #they get to have her!!! she's moving somewhere that's more convenient for literally everyone other than me! (this is not hard to do) #really good to get home and hug my dad and my little sister and have people who are my people around #was actually really good at the reception that there were a few other folk from my current town - i wasn't the only person who was #mixed joy and tears #i said something about us giving her over in my speech and they said yes that's exactly how we're feeling #but it wasn't till her husband responded to that in his speech that i started crying #everyone has been so kind to me but it has been SO good to get home #hoping i can get a bit more sleep as well. emotions are bigger when tired even though they're real still #(her cousins invited me to come stay any time and tbh i can see that living in Auckland could be actually really nice if you live where they #do. but i couldn't live where they do and do the work i want to do it is quite far away from the places in Auckland i could imagine working) #rowena adventures #btw no photos of me currently but probably some later??? not that we took many the groom had been sick the previous week and was #still pretty wiped so they got like two photos with the bridal party and ten with just them and that was it

[wild-at-mind]

(this is about trans stuff)

Probably need to get counselling about the fact that I’m so scared that my hormone balance is my personality.

#the cycle #so like i tend to associate my feelings with the Cycle position (menstral) that i happen to be in #so i feel strong and confiden and vivacious? upswing towards ovulation #sad and delicate? downswing towards menstruation #just being biologically essentialist or whatever some people say #thing is a lot of stuff about the effect of trans related HRT can read a little :/ if you're not feeling it #so the obvious example is gendercritical assholes saying trans women talking about feeling more emotional after starting hrt is misogyny #i actually think being emotional is not a bad thing tbh so they are tipping their own hands there #and also actually a lot of trans women seem to associate this change with positive things #but i'm talking about the way people talk about testosterone #a lot of people talk about the effects like it totally changed their personality tbh even if they don't realise it #it's scary like are our personalities our hormones???? #someone on this ftm group i'm on said they were having difficulty forming romantic connections with people after a couple of years on T #and people were like 'well you're just aromantic it's fine! oh you weren't before HRT? well this is what your true #authentic self is then don't worry about it!' #like to be clear it was unclear from the post whether this guy needed reassurance that being aromantic is normal #or if he was bothered by it and wanted to change it #if first then the responses are fine #but if 2nd then .....wtf are the implications of this? is our sexuality and romantic inclination ALSO our hormones??? #i don't think i'm wrong or crazy to feel weird about the idea of my personality changing and that my hormomes might be effecting it #kind of like how my personality is always shaped by depression and/or medication i'm taking for it #but it's scary like i only just got to know this brain i can't change it i'm FREAKING OUT #i feel like other trans people wouldn't want to talk to me about this because it sounds like i'm saying transphobic talking points. :( #but i really am scared of my personality changing. #if i go on t that is #can anyone talk to me about this on here?

[shopcat]

i do honestly think that like. the reason steve's torture scene is so undercut is because it is a torture scene. like they didn't WANT it to be hit heavily they didn't want to have to cut between relatively normal for the show scenarios back to steve and robin locked in an unreachable facility getting beaten and drugged and about to get their fingernails ripped off with the knowledge that in the end unless they're saved they're going to die. Because that is deeply tragic. so they have to make the jokes and make it lighter than it seems not only because the plot needs it but like the AUDIENCE needs it and the CHARACTERS need it... like yes the show does not take so many character's real life suffering seriously because for some reason lasting effects and trauma only exist to be taken advantage of by the plot or if you're the billed star or something but steve also in canon is the one who didn't let himself BE A Guy Who Was Just Tortured. he was a guy who was just beat up a little. and like they're scared but they're not too scared because they have to have hope because they are two people who have never had to rely on hope before in order to survive...

but also!! tbh i can't. help but think how much of a critical hit gut wrench it would've been if they had decided to commit to the darker theme of it and how it juxtaposes against the whole Bright Neon Light Palm Fronds And 80s Pop and how 30 minutes later they're standing among a group of children and no one even realises anything is out of the ordinary i think it would've accessed an actual emotional impact and depth the duffers seem to stumble upon by accident and never of their own volition </3 to cut from the concurrently running scenes to an 18 year old boy we know is completely innocent and completely telling the truth that he was just in the wrong place and didn't realise how serious it all was who was getting tortured and it be something serious. and his 17 year old coworker who just had to listen to it all to the point where she thought they dragged his dead body in to lay next to her. and in a way it's somehow MORE tragic which was not their intention at all that it was so lightly handled even though we the audience know it's somethings deeply upsetting it all just gets washed away in the face of Life goes on even on tv... sigh.

#🍦 #anyway #also unrelated i saw a post abt like someone commenting on the entire insane patriotism and the red scare stuff and maybeppl just commented #at the time THEY DID trust me.... it is one of the biggest criticisms of the show itself and a lot of people actually hated s3 bc of it 😭 #well like. me too. not that i'd seen it at the time i just remember eveurhing being like . said #anyway the way this show handles trauma actually gives me a headache lol #bc it's purely on case by case and yeah i know they can't just handle everyone's particular traumas but ugh. well you know what im saying #i think if they acknowledged the things that happened to steve they would also have to acknowledge it was never intended to have gravity #it can't be abandonment if there was never intention it can't be something they missed bc they don't see the something #he will get beaten every single season (barring the first) with no repercussion bc his like #humanity is not a right he is just some guy. it would also lose all the comedy to it that was established for 4 seasons #like oh it's not funny anymore and he's not the fun guy anymore because it's sad and that's not FAIR i don't think #bc trauma doesn't change everything about you and shouldn't change people's perception of you that's . fucked #and i think it's wild a show that attempts multiple times to go OVER these traumas will only ever land it sloppily bc i don't believe #they're doing it well intentionedly LOL it's for plot which is well fine it's a narrative but it means when it #lacks it's upsetting instead of the writing just being bad too #anyway... tangent . that also applies to like nancy and jonathan and stuff too . lucas and erica in s5 i imagine as well #though i shouldn't predict failure bc that's not very nice. to the characters .I just hate those men so much tbh tbh #sts

[daz4i]

my toxic trait is thinking i can voice act any character i like

#acting wise i think i can def pull it off ik i have the skill. it's voices that i struggle with #i CAN do voices just not MIMIC them very well 😔 so for fan projects and such that usually doesn't work #i really miss doing it tbh i wish ccc didn't lock my account. #also i know. i promised to do a nikolai dub thing but. *drops something and runs in the other direction* #(i decided i don't like the voice i gave him and got too insecure to try again. see it's the voice again it's always the problem 🥺) #actually if i could pull off anyone in this series it's probably atsushi kenji tanizaki etc. the young sounding ones #bc that's the type of voice testosterone gives you lol. #oh fyodor too i think he'll be fun to do :) acting wise also he seems really really fun #oh. sigma. a perpetual anxiety attack is my specialty. bc same (also he falls under young sounding voice) #ok I'm gonna stop listing names now bc I'm just becoming sad that i have nothing to do with those. i miss voice acting

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

.

#it's so sad seeing the t/r tag goddd #it really ended up like the kabby tag #forever mad at these men for actually turning out to be the most basic writers after all #who for all the preaching about romance couldn't let the big ships that made sense and felt like a natural endgame happen #but hey at least we got the iconic love story of beard with the woman who ripped up his passport...jumpscared him...stalked his friends...- #-didn't want him around his friends...threw his keys away and sent all those gross messages to him *sarcasm* #honestly it's worrying BH didn't see how bad that was and the message was nooo don't butt into your friend's ab*sive relationship- #-possibly saving them from a terrible fate and pain...(like you're just butting into a minor disagreement) just leave them be! what a- #-sh*tty thing to take from that... #and acting like they love their female characters but keeley who they gave a 'girlboss' ending (because oooo can't be both a girlboss and- #-in a relationship) but didn't show her being a boss in her own plot or anything really... #plus how last minute they made rebeccas plot and it didn't make sense and laughing at people who saw the t/r potential #they aren't sh*t and i mostly take back my praise (there were some good eps ofc which makes this mess worse) #hi im still mad about tl almost 3 months later #i try not to focus on it tbh i don't want to spend any more than 5 minutes thinking about it #the fact even when the strikes are done js will never own up to his sh*t #and i swear if that ep wins an emmy (when the other eps s3 and previously nominated were right there) im done #that'll be the sh*tty icing on the sh*tty cake

[themthistles]

not even joking i would kill for some kind of beyond evil sequel focusing on jihwa. it doesn't even have to be a full time drama. a mini-series, a movie, anything is fine i just need it

#she has so much potential as a character but the show just didn't. have. time for her #and i'm always sad about it #jwds don't need to be there like they can be referenced or make a guest appearance idc #jihwa works in a violent crimes unit #you're telling me there can't be a compelling story about a woman with decades of unpacked trauma #encountering worst of humanity everyday but desperately trying to believe in the goodness of it and through it in the goodness of self #you're telling me we can't have an arc of her finally forgiving herself for leaving for doubting for wanting more for herself #there's so much that can be explored #literally do none of you ever think about you're better than me you're all better than me i hope jeongje did it i'm a monster right #do you never think about i'm sorry but what i wanted was to run away not to be consumed by your desires #do you never head in hands over i never got in your way once i let you do whatever you wanted and now you're telling me not to cross over #she's always delivering lines of all time and for what #actually i take it back #dongsik can be there #series focusing on jh&ds's relationship would slap #also kim shinrok and shin hakyun as leads #their sheer acting power alone would blast brain outta my skull please and thank you #have not had interest in watching anything recently beyond evil let me fucking go let me care about something else PLEASE #promise of upcoming shim nayeon thriller drama with two female leads is the only thing keeping me afloat tbh #whenever that happens

[moe-broey]

I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)

But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.

#and like. a little less capitalist dystopia. i could do with less of that. #but focusing primarily on my own struggle. it's just a bummer sometimes like #i genuinely had fun!!! w my sisters and friends!!! esp at the arcade w ddr that is ALWAYS so fun #but man you can't even take me to your own damn house unless if you're ready to accept vampire rules. #my sister can/does dim the lights if i ask and i don't mind asking it's just fucking crazy to me like #damn uoy guys live like this. bright ass lights ten diff convos at once music in the bg. what if i died on this beanbag #BUT. THAT IS. one thing that is very nice i AM allowed to die on the beanbag!!!!!!! i'm allowed to cozy up and rest #while everyone does their own thing and i can listen in and chime in every now and again. severely underrated tbh #i really only feel a little hopeless when i think about like. public spaces where the only thing i can control is myself #IF i am ever employable again my requirements would be. no florescent lighting. i will die. #which like. kind of limits my prospects. #i do enjoy outdoors/physical work actually though so. i'm just limited bc i have to bind. #i am. so severely. banking on top surgery working out. it won't be a cure-all but by god it WILL open up my options #plus the. constant fatigue. of binding. but not binding is even worse. i need divine intervention (surgery) #SAD. well there are other people in yhe world #but man rhat is like my fave joke to make but i feel so much sadness attached to it. the world will move on without me. #there are a million other people who are far more capable. much 'easier'. ect. #and i know the answer is well there's only one me and there are a handful of people who love me. who keep me and include me #i am very thankful for that. #it's just a bit of a bummer sometimes. i stay silly and have the most fun i can but i am a little sad about it.

[franeridan]

nearly done with my op reread and for the longest time my theory was that the d marked the descendants of the people native of the island that eight hundred years ago fought the twenty nations, but rereading the part about lili I thought maybe it's more lax and it marks everyone who opposed the current government in general, not just those from the island - she was the queen of one of the twenty kingdoms after all, and imu didn't seem to know the nefertaris had a d in the name as well, but before the war there would have been no reason to hide it? so i think it's something they added to their names later, maybe to recognise each other as allies? or something? the kozuki were obviously allied too and don't have a d though, so I can't say this theory makes a hundred percent sense. also i find interesting how law is hiding the water part of his name too together with the d, i wonder if that has any further meaning? another interesting thing is that there seems to have been some form of prophecy or prediction about what's currently happening in the manga, since oden knew he had to wait twenty years and the sea monsters in the oden flashback on fishmen island were talking about it too... maybe a prediction about a war? since oden wanted to unleash pluton. I wonder what exactly they found out on laugh tale that made them all laugh when the events the wg is keeping secret seem to be this tragic... also, i think i never even noticed during my first readthrough of egghead but there's someone offshore with blackbeard's flag? a small boat, it seems, but I think atm we know all blackbeard pirates are either on the pirate island or fighting against the hearts (;;;) so I wonder who exactly that is? also, I didn't catch this either first time around but I feel like the germa might just be heading there as well right now lmao the thing with kuma returning to mariejois happening so soon after vp talked about the ancient robot attacking mariejois and no one knowing why is also suspicious to me, I wonder if vegpunk used data from that robot to turn kuma into a cyborg and that's tied to why he returned there for apparently no reason...?? anyway I thought rereading would help me clear up some questions but instead it left me with even more kkkk should have figured

#I'm about ten chapters away from the latest one im so sad #im also sad cause i just saw kidd and law lose once again but that's beside the point maybe #luffy is headed to elbaph next i wonder if he'll find kidd there... #i love shanks sm and i get why he protected his own but i love kidds crew i hope they're okay 😢😢😢😢 #the hearts too but i trust the hearts will be back #bc the manga used the word destroyed for kidd and defeated for the hearts #defeated sounds a bit less........ definitive #and also cause we know at least bepo and law are fine and bepo said to trust the crew to be fine too so #i don't think oda would be that big of a bastard #maybe blackbeard took them hostage hoping for law to be back since he obviously wanted the ope ope fruit? #maybe theyre with pudding now and they'll help her escape #maybe i need to stop setting myself up for disappointment lmao #but yes i trust the hearts to be back for now but im worried about the kidd pirates ;;;;;; #i hope shanks didn't kill them kidd had just become one of luffy's friends 😭😭 #also hoping garp didn't actually die but that's........like............... hoping in a delusional sort of way yk #on punk hazard kuzan told smoker to trust that his sense of justice is still intact #and i sorta like kuzan's morals tbh so i trust he knows what he's doing when he stands between blackbeard's crew #i just hope he won't regret it yk? man just maybe killed his life techer for this i hope this is worth it for him #also straight up i just don't want luffy to lose someone else like straight up my son doesn't deserve this #and dragon doesn't either!!! #i love dragon so much........i hope he'll be luffy-relevant soon..........

[batfamfucker]

Tell the truth comic fans challenge. When's the last time you read a comic and how many have you actually read?

P.S. This isn't me being gatekeepy btw I'm being genuine because I'm gonna be honest I've probably only actually read about five series and every thing else I've gotten from movies/series, online, or fanon. I know all the important events. Have I actually read them? No because my ADHD just wouldn't. And I can't be assed having to read important events if it's in a shit run by a bad writer.

#Also ngl I was determined to read from the very start but. I would not have the time for that in any life so lmao #I have read quite a few of the early Batman comics and do actually hope to read as many of his as possible #But I have not actually sat and read all of the Batfam origins yet tho I intend to #I know them all and I've seen the panels just never actually sat down and gone through it all #I also have read a lot of the Golden Era Batman and Superman team up comics where they basically act like parents #Taking Dick out on family day trips. It's a fun read tbh #And back when I was a early teen and couldn't afford comics I watched YouTuber who would read them for you and tell you about them/show you #So I've read half of Batman Eternal from that but he stopped uploading vids about it which made me really sad lmao #So I need to get around to reading the rest myself/rereading it because it's been a while #I think I liked the story but wouldn't canonise it in my mind #I also read a bit of Suicide Sqaud that way I think? So that too #I totally don't pirate read Injustice #I like it but I think some of it is iffy. But that's the case with comics in general #Batman: Wayne Family Adventures is the only I actually keep up with #Probably because it's more accessible but also because it's the kind of comic I've wanted about the Batfam for ages #There's room for improvement and I would like to see how one similar to that style would be made like. In the fully canon mainstream comics #Because I'm aware it's very fanon/fan servicey but honesty after all the DC chaos we deserve it. But I would like to see more family #Urban Legends is really good. But Idk. I'm very particular about my vision lmao #Let me be a writer is what I'm saving. Or make a competant TV show *Glares at Titans* #Titans is good but God do they fucking butcher Jason and Bruce. I am sick of DC TV and film adaptions doing the Batfam dirty #Like. The animated movies #Tim just is never a thing ever. Why #Titans does have him and I like that. But I haven't watched that season ngl because I don't like how they write Bruce #Like. He doesn't. Look for cjild soldiers bruh. I'm disappointed with Titans because they coulda done so well #But Bruce is far too old and they made Dick almost murderous with him and they fucked up Jason. I haven't seen Tim's- #-Characterisation yet but I'm scared to at this point #Alfred must be fucking dead because he would be SO OLD if Bruce is already like 60 bruh. No offence to the actor but yeah. #Chella Man is the best thing about the show. Tbf I adore the cast other than Bruce. But everyone is just so OOC and it doesn't- #Stick to the comics at all #Idk it just. Isn't it lmao