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#i actually am a little uncomfortable around this friend sometimes bc
cats-in-the-clouds · 1 year
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it’s all been said before but the whole pronouns thing for some people is getting so ridiculous it’s honestly just sad
#just saw a TIF post ‘i’ve decided that in addition to he/they i am now interested in ‘he/they/she. but just as a spicy little extra#only on rare occasion for fun. but please don’t ONLY use she/her for me if you use that please switch it up from time to time!’#like girl can’t you see how meaningless this all is. it’s a consumerist hobby to you it’s a game of playing with masks for fun#it’s literally just about playing pretend and getting excited when your friends play along. it’s a bit#but actors get uncomfortable when the topic lingers on the truth for too long. they’re cool with dancing around it sometimes#but they don’t like being unmasked openly because they don’t like their true selves they like having a persona#this whole trans thing is so insanely dangerous people are straight up encouraging personality disorder type behavior#or like. when people who ‘use multiple pronoun sets’ post stuff like ‘i wish people would actually bother to switch it up sometimes#or use he or she instead of always just they :/‘ like yeah people are avoiding saying anything real because they’re afraid of upsetting you#and catching you on a bad day where that’s not right#or like. they’d prefer a consistent approach to language at the very least instead of fulfilling your ever-changing fantasies#because you can’t make up your mind because you always need more and more attention and can’t just be satisfied with yourself#literally i can remember my own experience with this thing wasn’t ‘maybe i’m actually not a girl’ (this is almost never it)#it was ‘maybe it would be fun to go she/they and put a non-binary flag in my icon and reblog all these cool posts about being trans’#’it looks like it would be a lot of fun to get in on this cool thing and be someone special and have a secret identity in real life’#it is so much fun to play pretend. and it is so damaging to act like these intrusive thoughts actually mean anything about your gender#bc when you spend too much time on the internet and start entertaining the idea of being someone else#it starts to feel weird when people irl refer to you as who you are with all relevant gendered language#dysphoria is being manufactured by overthinking about things while having ideas flow into your mind by a constant social media stream#for a whole generation of people online it is almost never an actual natural thing
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bringmemyrocks · 4 months
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I will gladly say free Palestine from the river to the sea. I do not support orgs like J Street and even IfNotNow makes me uncomfortable (literally discomfort. Not saying they're bad people. Not everything is a condemnation.)
I am not here to do PR for JVP and other antizionist orgs that do fundraising thru partnerships, but:
a) JVP is like BLM with how little the chapters that actually do things are connected to national. Some figurehead who has no control over local chapters and who local leadership don't even know should not discredit an entire network of orgs that have been doing good work for a long time. They may not be rad enough for you but they are not Zionist. If they were they'd be under the ALLMEP/JStreet umbrella with Roots and Standing Together and they very much are not.
I also can't believe this needs stating, but JVP absolutely goes to non-JVP/non-Jewish-led actions. They go to far more Palestinian-led demonstrations than they attend ones they start. They do it all the time and have since they started. I never thought to address the "JVP doesn't join coalitions" point because it's so absurd.
b) Fundraising for Palestinian orgs overseas/Palestinian solidarity orgs in general is not as straightforward as raising funds for your local food bank; there are miles of red tape and fundraising thru partner orgs is just the only option sometimes (many very good Palestinian orgs do this). Even some Israeli orgs need to do this for tax reasons (American Friends of PeaceNow, Friends of Roots, etc.)
c) if you want to go hardcore #notonormalization that's your right but please please go in with open eyes, esp if you're LGBT or an ally. It's not "left of JVP/SJP"; it's its own ecosystem and very right-wing in a lot of ways.
d) In many cities, JVP is the only Palestinian solidarity org that allows membership for people who are not students, Arabs, or Muslims. In my large city, the only other org remotely like that is PSL and that's an org with a huge barrier to entry (lots of time, money for dues, required to align with PSL's beliefs). JVP's membership fees are sliding scale, around $18/yr.
e) "JVP tokenizes Jews!" "JVP doesn't have any Jews in it" please stop swallowing Zionist propaganda; there is no truth in these statements. Just because allies are allowed to support by being members does not mean it's not a Jewish org.
f) JVP is Compromised bc Jonathan Greenblatt said he has plants in there! Yeah, your local SJP chapter probably has cops in it too. Accept that most decently impactful activist spaces may have skeevy people who slipped past your vetting process. Also JVP is very public-focused; they are not super underground. Anyone can go to a public meeting, so Jonathan Greenblatt hasn't achieved much.
Editing to add: No org is perfect, including your/my favorite one. This post never implied that. Criticize away, but please don't lie (eg "JVP is Zionist") and don't assume that social media tells the entire story.
Last edit: check my antinormalization tag for more info on this issue.
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greenlegsandspam · 1 month
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"Frat Boy Energy"
Intak x GN! reader
Warnings: Established relationship au, swearing, Intak being whiny, Fluff fluffy fluff, that's it
Word count: 713
Author's note: Quick little Intak drabble bc I just got into P1Harmony and wOW am I in love. Don't know how often I'll write little stories like this, but let me know if I should continue please!
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*GIF not mine, thanks Google*
“What’s a frat boy?”
“What?” You look at your boyfriend, bewildered, wondering where the hell he heard that phrase from. 
Intak plops in between you and Keeho on the couch with a huff, crossing his arms across his chest, “The other host on MNet told me I have ‘frat boy energy.’”
Keeho lets out the loudest cackle you’ve ever heard while you’re frozen, stifling a laugh, not sure how to proceed.
Intak looks confused and frustrated while Keeho stands up, still laughing. He pats your shoulder, “Good luck explaining that one.”
“Stephan Yoon don’t you dare-“ your protest is interrupted by Keeho all but sprinting to the door, laughter echoing down the hallway. 
You sigh, facing Intak with a very forced smile, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, “Hi babe, how was hosting today?” Intak keeps his gaze on you, while you try to avoid this conversation.
“Y/n, what is it and why are you so against telling me,” he whines, throwing his limbs around in a mock tantrum. You bite your lip, realizing that yes, you have a child as a boyfriend, and yes, you have to explain this to him.
You shift uncomfortably, “Well, a frat is kind of like an exclusive club with business connections for college boys in the states.”
Intak blinks, “And how is that relevant to me and why does it have an ‘energy’?”
Yes, he used air quotes.
Cringing at how to word this, you run your hand through your hair and clear your throat, “Well… the frat boys are kind of notorious for dressing very similarly, throwing parties and treating women with minimal respect…” You say the last part as quietly as you can, hoping he doesn’t ask anymore. 
Intak is quiet for a second, his eyes trained on you but you can tell the cogs are turning in his head as he processes your words. After a minute or so, he finally speaks, “So what you’re telling me is I was basically called the American version of a fuckboy…” 
Instead of answering him, you turn your attention back to your phone, prompting him to groan loudly, “Oh my god I was!”
You can’t help but laugh now at how distraught he seems by this and try to help, “Okay, to be fair, frat boy energy doesn’t necessarily mean you are one! It’s more like, the vibe you give off paired with how you dress? I don’t know, it’s hard to explain when you don’t actually know, it’s not equivalent to fuckboy vibes but like… adjacent?” 
“How is that any better?” He throws his hands up in the air in frustration, “I’m not a fuckboy right? You don’t think I’m a fuckboy, right?”
“No, Intak, I don’t think you’re a fuckboy.”
“But do I give off frat boy energy?” 
When you don’t respond immediately he shouts a quick “aish” and stands up from the couch, but you’re quick to catch his hand and pull him back down next to you, “Okay okay, I think I can explain it better.”
His grumpy look urges you to continue, “It’s like, you’re easy to talk to, you know? Like you can make friends with people really quickly and you’re always positive, and can adapt to really any type of situation with ease. It’s not necessarily a bad vibe at all! Just means you’re super friendly, and maybe a little flirty sometimes, but overall just friendly and goofy.”
He slowly nods, seeming to understand, “Okay, so I’m just… friendly?” 
“And sometimes flirty.”
“And sometimes flirty,” he continues to nod, processing, “but not a fuckboy?”
“Not a fuckboy.”
“Okay…” he perks up a bit more, “Okay! I’m okay with that!”
You laugh and pat his arm, “Okay good, so you’re not upset anymore?” 
He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around you and giving you a very wet kiss on the cheek much to your dismay.
You fake disgust and wipe your cheek, cringing at the wet feeling and your boyfriend just laughs at you, squeezing you tighter. 
From the hall, you hear the unmistakable sass of Keeho’s voice, “You do give off frat boy vibes though!”
“Yah!” And Intak is gone sooner than he came, leaving you laughing on the couch at your idiot (frat) boys.
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dogbunni · 1 year
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[begins coughing like a cat about to throw up a furball] [spits up several nendo headcanons and then looks at u proudly]
-nendo collects hot wheels. I have no justification beyond this except that I also collect hot wheels and I think we'd have that in common. if he was real I would take nendo to a toy shop to look at all the hot wheels. just stand there and observe them for an uncomfortably long time. my friends aren't deeply autistic enough to do this with me so I can never observe the little cars for long enough before making a purchase :(
-nendo trans ally #1
-nendo has no idea what his sexuality is but not in a confused/questioning way, in a "I have never thought about it longer than 1 second" way. he likes who he likes and has no thoughts beyond that. he is label-less in a [shrugs shoulders] way. (saiki is also label-less but in a "fuck you" kind of way)
-nendo loves rollercoasters and watches weird essay length youtube videos about theme parks and animatronics. its a hobby that deeply disturbs everyone around him bc this guy cannot do basic math but he can and will channel the spirit of akechi rambling about defunct animatronics. sometimes he shows saiki pictures of animatronics in late stages of decay in horrible pitch black nightmare settings and saiki reacts as if nendo has placed a live cockroach in his lap.
-he has a condiment problem. steals sauce packets from restaurants with diagnosable compulsion.
-he doesn't Get memes. everyone has tried and failed to show nendo a meme. it's like trying to show your mother a funny picture and she holds the phone as far away from her face as she can and then stares at it for way too long before silently handing it back. he just doesn't Get It.
-hes like, really good at making memes though. he will just absently turn a phrase or take an image so absurd that everyone is still saying and reposting and reacting with it years down the line. he has no idea that he has this power
-he feeds stray cats and makes little shelters for them outdoors <3
-nendo and kaido roleplay together sometimes. I'm talking like, warrior cats roleplay. sometimes dark reunion but kaido gets pissy if nendo messes up The Lore. nendo calls it "playing pretend" bc he has no concept of cringe culture and kaido dies inside every time
-he manages to forget his own birthday. every year. saiki remembers though, and it's the one and only day he will ask if nendo wants to get ramen with him, instead of the other way around. it gets to the point that saiki asks if nendo wants ramen, and he says "what, is it my birthday ahaha" and saiki is just like. you goddamn idiot. good grief.
-last time I did one of these I said that nendo loves cute things like sanrio plushies and holds them so gently. well I see that and I am correct, but I raise you nendo thinking that SAIKI is the cutest thing he's ever seen. something about the pink hair and glasses and the little limiter bubbles on his head and his purple eyes and little frowny eyebrows- nendo wants to. hold gently. sometimes he just grabs saiki by the shoulders and stares at him blank in the face and saiki is like [nervously] "what the fuck? what the fuck????"
-he and aiura actually get along weirdly well. they're unhinged in similar flavours and it gets saiki's blood pressure up. he tries at all costs to keep them away from each other. their singular brain cells cancel each other out on sight.
-akechi makes nendo's brain hurt a little. he just can't process all of akechi's akechi-ness and it makes him feel dumb. he's fine with being dumb most of the time but akechi just makes him feel a little self conscious for some reason. (definitely not because he's jealous that akechi was friends with saiki first)
-he still likes the funny lil guy though. akechi's the only one who will enthuse with him about rollercoasters and he values those talks. so much.
-toritsuka is afraid of nendo for some reason. no one is sure why but nendo LOVES it. he's always trying to jump out and scare him. saiki supports nendo in this endeavour ardently. toritsuka suffers.
-nendo falls down the weirdest tiktok rabbit holes. it got so bad once that they got teruhashi to distract him while kuboyasu lifted his phone and deleted the app off of it. it took nendo several months to realise he could redownload it.
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scoobydoodean · 12 days
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the way bronlies are so obsessed that they’ve just become sam in the way they don’t like/won’t allow dean to have other friends 😭
it’s crazy to me, especially for a question whose different answers are both true to an extent bc your definition of “knowing somebody” is totally subjective!
lol that said, i am curious, soo… who do you think knows dean best, sam or cas? somebody else? do you think it changes over the seasons?
One of my friends was just saying that about bronlies and Sam sjhbfhsdhjf. Truly tho they're more insufferable than Sam's ever been. Bronlies are every spoiled child antagonist in every children's book. The Veruca Salt's of fandom. Miserable little cry baby brats screaming throwing tantrums trying to hit everyone with their baby rattlers... over Supernatural (2005) POLLS.
Their indignantion at that poll is pretty hilarious, because Sam doesn't start out the series actually knowing who Dean is at all. He thinks he knows who Dean is, but he doesn't, and this is illustrated to us over a dozen times in season 1. I do think Sam grows to understand who Dean is better over time, but he still sucks at understanding Dean for the vast majority of the series, because in many ways, he doesn't actually care to stop and think and study who Dean is and ask himself whether he actually knows him. He prefers an image he's made up in his head of who Dean is instead—an image that comforts him or bolsters his own self-image in some way. Dean is smart when Sam wants him to be smart and stupid when Sam needs to feel smarter (1.10, 1.16, 4.12, 8.14). Dean is strong when Sam wants him to be strong and weak when Sam needs to feel like the strongest person around (4.10, 4.11, 4.14, 4.16, 4.20, 4.21). Dean isn't opening up enough (2.02, 2.03, 2.04), then Dean is too emotional and soft and needs to get over it (2.10, 2.11, 2.14, 4.14, 4.16). Dean is a protector and nurturer who is failing to nurture and/or protect Sam adequately (3.09, 4.04, 8.23), then Dean is smothering (5.07, 8.20).
Basically, because Sam spends so much time trying to force Dean to fit into the shape he wants Dean to fit into, instead of actually trying to understand who Dean is, he often (unknowingly in some cases) completely lacks insight into who Dean actually is, and I'd say while he gets better at recognizing this, and better at understanding who Dean really is over time, surrounding certain subjects (especially things like grief), this refusal to see the actual real Dean continues through the entire run of the show (ex: 13.04).
I guess the question is then... is Cas actually better at understanding Dean than Sam is? And for me? Honestly I think it's a wash. I don't actually think either of them is Mr Amazing Perfect Dean Understander to be quite honest with you. I mean—practically Dean and Cas's entire schtick is perpetual misunderstandings bolstered by their own insecurities? They understand the important parts like that they each have good intentions and are good hearted, but I don't think Cas ever really understood how their repeated cycle of conflict made Dean feel. I don't think he ever understood how deeply entwined Dean's well-being became with his own, to the point that Dean was Not Fucking Okay when Cas was dead. I think Cas had a leg up in getting genuine insights into Dean's feelings straight from Dean for a long time because of the childhood dynamics and previous events that have made using Sam as a confidant uncomfortable and/or unsafe for Dean (2.03, 2.11, 4.14, 4.21, 5.01, 5.02, 5.03). I think Cas also understands Dean’s feelings more than he lets on and often acts on his perceptions of Dean's feelings without communicating those perecptions to anyone (and sometimes he's right... but sometimes he's also very VERY wrong).
We get a sort of back and forth with Sam and Cas understanding or not understanding different aspects of Dean's feelings or behavior. Think about "Nihilism" for example, when Sam and Cas walk through the darkness of Dean's mind, and Cas is shocked by the amount of trauma in Dean's mind and Sam just says, "Well. Yeah." But then compare that with 10.03 "Soul Survivor" where Cas was able to explain to Sam why demon Dean didn't want to be cured no matter how much blood they gave him. Sam didn't understand, but Cas understood Dean's perspective immediately (and that entire episode was a scathing commentary on Sam's lack of insight into Dean tbqh).
All of that said, I think I did vote in that poll and I picked Cas, and I would do it again. :) In fact, I will vote against Sam in any moment of uncertainty in any poll I see going forward, because bronlies are pathetic cry baby brats victimizing themselves 24/7 over Tumblr polls and can get fucked.
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miraculous-pyxie · 1 year
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marinette headcanon time
marinette’s knees are filled with little scars and long-term bruises from how many time she falls over 
she carries a very cute first aid kit in her backpack just in case her skin breaks or if she needs a quick ice pack (those lil crack and shake things that get really cold)
marinette became the go to person when somebody got hurt is phys ed when the teens were younger. she eventually got first aid certified.
 marinette used to carry a bit more weight (you see her parents genetic make up) but from becoming ladybug she burns a lot of calories/fat from running around all day. to keep people/parents from getting suspicious, she starts running which keeps her even more in shape.
little marinette got into sewing because her mom always needed to repair her clothes from the rips and tears they would get from her falling over. she felt guilty about it so she said that she would do it. her mom taught her then she started teaching herself
I love the idea that Adrien and Marinette get stronger and more flexible from using the miraculous. Adrien has an excuse that this is how he needs to look for modeling (everyone believes that) but marinette has less of an excuse so she has to flub saying she started going to the gym and attempt to become less clumsy. not wanting it to be a lie, she starts going to a gym once a week for an hour (this is where she does her runs instead).
marinette meditates with her mom whenever she’s stressed and gets lightly told off when she starts fidgeting too much
along with Tikki’s cookies, marinette keeps a stash of protein shakes and protein bars in her room
 marinette has ADHD so she is prone to zoning out and has accidentally zoned out in someone’s direction before then zones back in and profusely apologizes for ”staring” at them
marinette will hyperfocus on a project for hours and she has almost missed patrol several times because of it.
adding onto that, she will sometimes be working till 3 am so getting up at 7 am for school is really hard. (delayed sleep phase syndrome let’s goooo)
on top of that, coffee is her best friend. not because of the energy boost but it keeps her focused in school. (Alya doesn’t know about the ADHD at first and thinks her best friend has a severe coffee addiction)
from becoming ladybug, Marinette has actually gotten very coordinated.  she was very clumsy as a kid, but now it only spikes when she feels emotionally vulnerable. (i.e. around Adrien, when she’s nervous)
 Adrien is Marinette’s first big crush  so for the first few weeks marinette actually was really uncomfortable. she was having an internal battle of never feeling something like a crush before and also beating herself up over the idea that this might be a celebrity crush and she’s just a crazy fan
i saw this somewhere else but marinette doesn’t like horror movies not because they scare her but because they are underwhelming to her. mari and the gang will be having a movie night and she’ll just sit their with her arms crossed and say “I’ve seen worse.” and alya nino and adrien will just looked at her absolutely baffled. (even though adrien is chat noir, he’s had less exposure to scary things growing up)
adding onto that, marinette 100% had unrestricted internet access as a kid but she does not let it show
Marinette doodles on her skin in pen and one time she was drawing on her arm in red pen in class and an akuma related explosion happened really close. The pen exploded all over her skin and it looked like she had just killed someone.
marinette wanted to join the costume department for theater but because of her crammed schedule she can’t do it. everyone is confused as to why she doesn’t bc she’s perfect for it.
marinette matches the color of her hair ties to her outfit
marinette is better at listening to people in chinese then speaking or writing it
marinette actually gets along with her grandma really well and that’s why her grandma knew exactly what bike to get her
even though Marinette’s focus is in high fashion, she loves learning about streetwear and street fashion in places like Japan and the US
she is an absolute force to be reckoned with when she’s being stubborn about something 
she indulges in the confidence that being ladybug gives her from time to time so when chloe is back on her bs she claps back better than the last time
 a personal retcon is she gets a hold of her boy crazy-ness after the first few weeks. (the show really did her dirty on this like stalking? stealing? they should not be promoting that behavior to kids tbh)
marinette wears her new designs to school. she also secretly has a commission style business (so she can keep on top of orders bc she is just 1 person)
all and all, she is a little frazzled gremlin and i wish we got more of that blunt ,frazzled, always-busy, gremlin side of her
that’s all i can think of for now :)
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moonliched · 2 months
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Sorry for the spam questions, I really like thinking about your fic. So, is there anything you'd like to ramble on about that I haven't asked?
you're good! i get screen fatigue and headaches, so i've been pacing myself through the asks. you can't imagine how exciting it was to open my inbox and see questions about my fic!! i love talking about it and this has been lots of fun, thanks so much✨☺️💕💕💕💕
rambling under the cut bc it's super long!
i've been trying to write this into the fic, but idk how well it'll come across, so i might as well say it here! Y/N refers to one of their parents as their 'guardian.' i picture Y/N's guardian as being a careless parent, not bc they don't care, but bc their culture raises children in a more independent fashion. with very little actual raising. they kind of just let them do their own thing, so their guardian was super uncomfortable that their weird hybrid child actually needed a lot of assistance to survive.
Y/N grew up feeling like a burden, and that asking for help or relying on others is evidence that they lack the intelligence and capability to do anything themself. communities are more for convenience than the necessary relationships that humans need by nature, so when people move away they don't keep in contact. this includes blood relatives. communities also scatter to rebuild elsewhere frequently, so by leaving their home planet Y/N understood that they would likely never see anyone from their community, including their guardian, ever again. no one they were leaving behind would see anything wrong with this.
Y/N was seen as bizarre for getting attached to people to the extent of wanting to keep in contact after they moved. as a consequence, Y/N generally fails to keep in contact with anyone they meet unless it's a requirement of work, and they figure everyone will think they're weird if they try to keep in contact. they have turned out quite asocial. you'll notice Y/N rarely seeks out Moon even though he's always coming to visit them. all the same, they can't quite kill the human part of themself that wants people to stick around even when they're drained from too much social interaction.
also, Y/N's other parent is a victim of this. they're human, and left one day for some reason - work, travel, to earn more money for their family. they returned one day only to find their partner and child gone, because their partner did not consider or particularly care that they might want to find them again😬 Y/N works this out as a teen, but there's no way for them to seek them out.
... okay let's do some nicer ones!🍰🍓
🍓 Y/N thinks about eating fish eyes a weird amount. fish skin too. this is because i am rabid about eating chicken skin and also raw meat (prepared ofc) and when i was a child i used to go into the butcher's shop or visit the raw fish on ice in the supermarket and breathe in the smell longingly, and freak out my parents :[
🍓 Moon's love language is biting, unfortunately
🍓 BON-BON sometimes wants to hug Y/N but he got no arms :( he also sometimes wants to fight them too
🍓 BON-BON sometimes just turns on the closest monitor and stares out of it silently while Y/N is doing stuff. he wants to hang out like when a friend comes into your room to chill on your bed without speaking. but all the stuff he does is digital, so Y/N can just see him blankly staring at them and it looks very odd from their perspective lol
🍓 Y/N runs funny bc they learned to run on a flimsy floating community that rocked with the waves
🍓 the Glamrock team are all aware by now that Vanessa is incessantly antagonising Y/N. generally they're wondering if Y/N may have done something before they arrived to trigger Vanessa into launching constant verbal attacks on them, and are feeling extremely uncomfortable on Y/N's behalf. no one wants to be the one to address it with Vanessa
🍓 Y/N has no idea what pizza is, but bc of the name they're picturing some sort of spiky dish like a sea urchin
🍓 Y/N is actually eating more seafood dishes as of late than they usually would bc Vanessa keeps commenting on it, and it makes them feel resentful. so then they cook more fish in rebellion and it becomes a cycle
thanks for reading!!😋✨
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halcyon-writings · 1 year
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Moment of Repose
pairing: billy butcher/reader
notes/cw: none (save for butcher's bad habits /lh), after 84 years,,,, the request for anon is done. I am very sorry for the wait, the writer's block was really kicking my ass LMAO and ngl I liked the request bc lowkey it was challenging bc it was difficult to picture him as like,,, soft, when the man is quite literally the opposite, but I hope that it worked out
nav.
Billy Butcher is, in no way, soft. Edges that are far too sharp, too untrusting prevent such a thing. Trust that was hard to earn and easily lost at the drop of a hat did that to you. 
Billy Butcher is not soft. Something that even he insists upon, at least when pressed about it. He was cordial enough to those he worked with at best, and at worst, he would be downright vulgar to anyone else. 
So what made you different? Was it your relaxed demeanor? (In comparison to Butcher, anyone looked leagues calmer than he could ever be.) Was it the way you were practically unphased whenever he would slip into a string of curses when someone got on his nerves? Or was it the fact that you could read him like an open book? (No one said that last part out loud though, lest they risk his ire being directed at them.)
You supposed that the secret to seeing a soft or gentle facet of Billy Butcher was one that you would keep to yourself till the end of time. Or whatever other cliche bullshit he would say it was.
Such as right now, when Butcher basically running off of fumes and you had all but taken away his gun, any backup knives and blunt objects he kept on his person in case the gun failed, and his keys. Certainly, he could hotwire said car, seeing as how even a soft breeze could knock the thing over, but the image of your neutral face of displeasure made an uncomfortable feeling stir in his gut (it was that or the expired frozen dinner he ate, with him convincing himself that it was still good). Even with his protests, which were weak for the most part, Butcher was convinced to rest, or at least even take a nap under your watch.
So that left you to watch over the man as he slept for the first time in days, while everyone else in this little team of yours had taken that as an excuse for a free day.
M.M. had gone to see his daughter (and you slipped him some cash to get some flowers for his ex-wife but that was another secret of yours). Kimiko and Frenchie had decided to run errands, such as picking up things for actual food to cook rather than the frozen dinners Butcher would insist upon to “save” money, and you could only keep your fingers crossed that whatever damages that had appeared on the evening news were minimal at best. You cherished the pair dearly as friends, however, their penchant for chaos was unmatched. Finally, Hughie, you had guessed, had gone out on his own, sneaking off to see his date and you snickered as he stammered through an excuse.
“Just go on, you don’t wanna leave her waiting, do you?” A teasing bit to your voice makes the boyish man scramble up the steps and you hear the door to the shop open and shut in quick succession. 
So while Butcher snored away the afternoon, you had decided to read. Enjoying the silence that had come with most of the bases’ occupants being gone for the moment, occasionally interrupted by a snore here or there. 
Of course, you sometimes could not help but shift uncomfortably. With Butcher all but caging you in with his giant head on your lap, arms around your waist, you were at least glad you did not have to go to the bathroom yet. Despite your inner protests, you couldn’t help but feel a little pleased, who knew that Billy Butcher could be as soft and sweet during his sleep? 
Occasionally you reach down, smoothing the frown on his face so that he could at least relax again, his nose would twitch, and you curiously guess what he dreamed about. Maybe he had had some weird dream. Perhaps something ridiculous like Homelander actually being a responsible Supe. Or being right that eating an expired frozen dinner was the correct thing to do… maybe you should take him to urgent care for that. But then again if it took as much convincing as it did to get the man to rest his eyes for an hour or two, you would have to prepare the big guns. 
As you attempted to steer your focus back on the book in your hands, it was only a short moment that you could feel Butcher begin to stir. Well, it seemed that you could not get a chance to keep reading, as you use an old receipt like a makeshift bookmark. 
He sits up, groggy for a moment, you almost think it was cute if it weren’t for the kind of person he was.
“What day is it?”
“The same day that you took your nap,” You say helpfully. He curses. 
“Feel like shit…” Mumbling incoherently into his hands, almost like a bad hungover. 
“You kind of look it too,” You chirp, “But that’s what happens when you don’t get a proper amount of sleep.”
He sends you a sleepy glare, but there is no heat behind it. You reciprocate by giving him a bright smile. You expect him to stand up, getting back to whatever sort of chaos that would have Vought scramble for some PR recovery, instead, you’re pleasantly surprised when all he does is lay back down, this time using his signature jacket as a makeshift blanket. 
Once again, the silence is met with his snoring as he falls back into slumber. 
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mikeydraws · 2 months
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And here I present from my notes, a list of
Suoersons braunrot???
That I totally didn’t make mostly at the hours of 1-4 am
POV: You’re giving HC to Supersons but you are in fact projecting
(Most are platonic while the others are Romantic)
Damián can’t keep friendships, mainly bc of his past he actually like can’t, he has such issues with that bc at school he starts being friend with someone and after a year they aren’t friends anymore, his only friends are his team mates
And ofc Jon, but Damian will never admit that
If Jon and Damian dated/started being in a romantic relationship (as adults/same age) they would actually forget, they would be sitting down reading books one day and then one of them just blurbs out “omg we’re boyfriends?” (Mostly Jon) and then would do a lil kiss on the cheek or just get closer
One thing Damian and Jon have in common is that they never experienced Teenage Love, Damian just never cared and well Jon was stuck in a volcano and he still feels like he missed out
Jon is horribly claustrophobic, he got locked in the bathroom once and Kon had to save him from a panic attack (and also saving the house from being blown apart)
Bruce, Richard and sometimes Jason all call Damian “little Dami” when the isn’t here to hear it
Both damian and jon got bullied at school, but they will only attack the bullies if they mention the other, like jon nearly ending a kid bc he said Damian acted and sounded weird. While Damian gets detention for being too brutal with a kid who called Jon a baby. None of them know this.
(Adults/same age) I don’t think their love would just erupt from no where, I see a lot of fanfics do this where they just jump in, no they are so slowburn it hurts, shits even worse than Aziracrow 😭
Damian likes people who are easy to read/expressive, he feels very safe with those people, yet he is the most closed up mf in the area
When Damian gets Overwhelmed and on the edge of a meltdown he else fights so intensely it’s dangerous, bro needs the whole bat cave to himself during these moments
Most of Damian’s meltdowns are caused by a really uncomfortable pain that lasts long, it’s not the same pain as a wound or anything like that, he mostly hates muscle cramps, the ripped up skin around his nails and any other unidentifiable pains
Jon get overstimulated after stress and paranoia, like he has sm, during exams and finals he needs to have things around him to comfort him or else his anxiety will get him
Jon isn’t a puppy golden retriever baby, no this dude will break a wall, a bone to protect ANYONE, he is the best guard dog ever
Jon is the baker, Damian is the cooker. I will not elaborate.
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An actual explanation as to why I think Jonah Beck from Andi Mack is autistic (by an autistic person)
Disclaimer every autistic person is different. This has become a popular hc in the fandom, and I am explaining why, based on my own traits and common signs and symptoms I've noticed in the character.
Hyperfixations:
Lots of autistic people have hobbies or special interests that they take really seriously they like to talk about it with other people even if they don't seem as interested or if its annoying them. Jonah's special interests were ultimate frisbee and guitar he would get so defensive if anyone said ultimate wasn't a sport, and he carried his frisbees with him a lot apparently even after he had stopped playing as much and when he took up guitar, he literally started wearing shirts with guitars on them bro found a new special interest and never looked back (its especially important bc it helps him cope with anxiety).
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Social queues (lack of awareness)
Ik Jonah is sometimes comic relief and portrayed as oblivious, but he fr doesn't understand things like flirting like that scene from unloading zone when those girls were flirting with him and he just "Yeah uh... its free 🧍‍♂️😁". He also sometimes doesn't understand when something is really important to someone else, especially if he's concentrated on a special interest (when andi protested her school dress code in s1, for example). Also, just amber saying at some point, "If you want Jonah to not say anything, you have to be very explicit," and the fact that he accidentally got himself and the ghc in trouble in unloading zone.
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Anxiety/meltdowns/sensory aversions
ofc anyone can experience anxiety, and it's not a part of the diagnostic criteria, but lots of autistic people experience high levels of anxiety in later life. Jonah canonically has panic attacks and struggles with anxiety, which (in my opinion, anywho) can be taken for a meltdown, but like I said, everyone's different not all meltdowns are out of sadness sometimes they can be angry like when Jonah flipped that board game and said "now its over". I noticed he gets them in uncomfortable social situations that are overwhelming he also said on a few occasions that he doesn't like confrontations, which could be seen as too much sensory input, which causes meltdowns
And he has food aversions from again too much sensory input when at Cyrus' grandmothers shiva he says he couldn't recognise anything on the food table even tho there was literally a bagel in front of him and he ate the fish Cyrus told him not too eat. He also says he's embarrassed of his panic attacks. I'm embarrassed of meltdowns he's so me. Also, this whole discourse of people saying Jonah doesn't have feelings he does he just struggles expressing or processing them.
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Face blindness/masking
Many autistic teens and children have face blindness or facial-agnosia, meaning they don't always recognise faces they've already seen or just identify people in different ways Jonah's little line in s1 "some people never forget a face, I never forget a foot" was enough proof for me. Also, masking is when an autistic person basically hides that they're autistic by suppressing certain behaviours around certain people, and I think Jonah does this a lot in s1 to keep up this mr. popular image when Buffy said he only had 2 facial expressions could be taken as a sign of masking. I noticed it seemed like he didn't have any other friends after s1 accept from the ghc this could be because he felt he didn't have to mask in front of them (as an autistic person masking is exhausting I don't blame him) he definitely feels least judged around Cyrus and Buffy.
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Stimming/repetition
Once again, it was likely for comedic purposes, but Jonah sometimes repeats things that have already been said, which is how some autistic people like to communicate whether it be repeating their words or echoing others (echolalia) I noticed Jonah do this in s3 when Buffy's talking about why she rejected Walker and he just says "I feel bad for the guy" like twice and I've noticed subtle stims when he's both nervous and happy Jonah is very expressive with his hands when he talks plus that trampoline park date must of been one fun sensory experience.
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In conclusion:
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mindfulstudyquest · 3 days
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❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆
organization: i know it's the most trivial advice in the world, but i swear it works. before doing anything, i take my planner and review everything i have to do, i divide the study by subject, amount of things to study and review spaces for exams. realistically, you can't expect to do it all in one day, but a good plan could almost allow you to sleep at night!
a clean workspace: i can't fucking concentrate if there's a mess aroud me, i get distracted easily, even by dust, so before i start studying i always deep-clean my desk. i know that not everyone can afford a personal and quiet place to study in their houses, so try to find yourself a small angle where you can really focus.
go to study in a library / café: i didn't believe it at first, but it's actually useful. if you have the opportunity to go to a library or a café after school ( or near your house ) do so. being surrounded by people who are studying like you really helps to focus, you'll be less inclined to get distracted and procastinate. i would feel uncomfortable using my phone in a library with other people who are doing their work while i'm sitting there scrolling on tumblr.
breaks: ik ik, not very blair waldrof, hermione granger, spencer hastings, rory gilmore of me, isn't it? but is it worth it. sometimes i end up having really bad headaches from studying and, even if i keep studying, the quality of my work decreases significantly. breaks are fundamental. i would not recommend using social networks for your beak, because they litteraly drain your attention, rather do your skincare, prepare yourself a snack ( eating is important! it's what makes you focus ), read 10 pages of your book, dance a little bit in your room, do stretching, go outside and buy some mint chewingum, something like that.
EAT!: girls, boys and theys, we know. i honestly think that almost every person that craves academic validation ends up developing a sort of eating disorder. it's not even the food, is the fact that you are too busy studying that you forget to eat, ignoring stomach cramps, or the fact that you didn't get that answer right and now you don't feel like you deserve the lunch. i understand bc i AM like this, like you. but think about it: you need to do it in order to survive ( but this is secondary to the grades, right? ) and to keep your brain active. you can't walk around with blurred vision because you haven't eaten or drunk for fourteen continuous hours. i swear that eating like a normal human being helps you to keep going.
sleep: same thing as eating, but with our terrible sleeping schedules. i know that school is toxic so we end up finishing our homeworks at 2 am everyday ( if we're lucky ) but when you have the chance, take a nap and recover.
repeat things as if you were explaining them to someone: this is litterally the fastest way ever to learn fundamental concepts when you're studying. imagine that you're talking to a friend that doesn't know anything about the subject that you're studying and try to explain the topic to them. finding simple words for a difficult topic will help you understand it thoroughly, on this basis you can then build an articulated and more academic speech. repeat things out loud, doesn't matter if you look crazy, you already are <3
check and organize your notes the same day: i never have time to take proper notes in class, so i review them as soon as possible, with the lesson still fresh in mind. it really helps me understand the subject and makes the further study much easier.
watch youtube videos: youtube is my favourite class. sometimes teachers are dumber than students and you, who don't have a degree in that subject and are tackling a topic for the first time, don't understand a damn thing. ofc not!! sometimes professors are terrible at explaining stuff, but fazal from pakistan isn't. i passed my physics class with a 10/10 thanks to an indian guy on youtube. documentaries and yt videos are a simple and nice way to understand better topics and do insights for extra credits.
delete social media: i'm gonna do another post specifically for this.
"STUDY!" wallpaper: last but not least, the dumbest yet the smartest advice, set as lockscreen a white / black / whatever background with a big fat "STUDY!" written on it. everytime you're about to pick up your phone and procastinate the wallpaper will scold you.
hope this was useful or at least fun to read byee
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frecklydork · 1 month
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i think im a lesbian and thats been making me cry in the middle of the night every night for the last umm i dont know. week. couple of weeks maybe. i dont want to be a lesbian bc ive been bi for so long and i dont want another sexuality crisis. but at the same time the idea of being with a man makes me feel so fucking repulsed and i dont know if thats bc ive just had multiple experiences of a male friend making inappropriate comments toward me when i used to trust him OR if its bc i am genuinely realizing i have never. never. never. never. never had strong feelings for a man the way i do with a woman. like i saw a cute customer today who was a guy but i wouldnt date him. i thought he was cute but i wouldnt do anything about it, like if he asked me out i'd feel uncomfortable. but then i saw a blonde woman walk in and i thought to myself, god she's gorgeous and if she asked me out right now i'd say yes when and where!!
i only feel "i'd kiss him i'd date him i'd hold his hand" with fictional male characters and male celebrities. not real/obtainable people. would i still feel that way if they were physically in front of me? i think i would, i think if ken were in front of me calling me sweet girl i'd never feel repulsed. i think if a guy who looked and acted exactly like ryan gosling was in front of me asking me out i'd consider it maybe? but i know i feel genuine love for my F/Os. my feelings for them are 100% real and pure. i hear that could possibly be an aromantic thing, to be genuinely attracted to your F/Os but not real people. but i feel genuinely attracted to real women!! sometimes!! half the time!!! not ALL the time and i don't know if i'd be willing to be in a relationship bc i'm so detached to the idea of a relationship but like... the attraction is absolutely there to some degree and it seems to be that way strongly for women
and then i thought, ok well, bisexual means being attracted to two or more genders, right? and i'm attracted to (probably) anyone who isn't a man, though my strongest feelings are for women. but then someone else told me that the lesbian label would still include people who aren't strictly women, so?? like?? i'm just confused i was hoping lesbian meant "just women" so then i can tell myself "oh i cant be a lesbian then because i've felt attraction to nonbinary/genderfluid ppl as well who don't identify as women at all" but if the lesbian label includes that, then uh, maybe i'm? a lesbian?
but god i have felt so uncomfortable around a man who's been making me feel unsafe lately, and it's just making me wake up and realize i've never been genuinely wholeheartedly attracted to men, period. not once. i've had small fleeting little crushes but if that crush asked me out i'd say No Get The Fuck Away From Me. there was actually an instance where i had a small "crush"(?) on a male coworker when i was 18 years old for a few weeks, but then he asked me out, and i felt so disgusted and uncomfortable that i went to my car and cried. and then i had a crush on a nonbinary person years later and that felt. so. fucking good. that felt so whole and so real to me. and then i had a crush on a woman years after that and i would lie awake at night with the most pure beautiful feeling in my chest. and when they asked me out i didn't feel grossed out at all, i felt wonderful, i felt amazing, i was shaking because i was so happy
but i have never ever ever once felt that way with a man. and it makes me sad bc i spent so long calling myself bisexual but i dont think that fits me anymore and i dont think some of my family members would really love me anymore if i came out as a lesbian and i just. dont want to think about it too hard but its all i can think about. i dont want to label myself right now but i dont feel good if i dont have a label. like, i can stick with bisexual just for the sake of a label making me feel comfortable but i dont feel bisexual if that HAS to include men. does bisexual HAVE to include men, if youre a cis woman identifying as bi??? can me being bisexual be attraction ANYONE EXCEPT a man??? with just a very very very very strong preference for women????
i just wish my F/Os were real, i would just be with them and forget labels entirely and just get tf outta here. i know if my male fictional others were to come to life, it wouldnt repulse me. i've asked other lesbians "if YOUR male F/O was real and in front of you with a bouquet of flowers asking you out, would you date him" they have all said "no not at all, bc he isn't a woman. i am only attracted to him fictionally but if he were real i'd feel nothing". so like. i dunno. because if ken or plankton were real i'd feel everything.
im so sick of being here im so sick of men making inappropriate comments about my body when theyre supposed to be ppl that i trust and im so sick of wanting a girlfriend but not wanting a relationship, yearning for women but not wanting anything to do with actually dating somebody. exhausting. all of this is exhausting. am i aro am i a lesbian can i be bisexual i dont feel bisexual anymore i'm dragging that label's dead weight on my shoulders and i want to replace it i WANT a label but i dont know what my label is and im tired. i dont think my family members would accept me being a lesbian and that hurts. i tried telling my dad yesterday and he was like "no you don't know what you are, you don't have enough experience to know if you like men or not. i think you'll marry a man one day" no the idea of marriage repulses me too actually. im indifferent to sex, i dont want to get married, i dont want a relationship. but god i want a woman in my life who i can kiss and come home to and hold and ask her about her day and slow dance with in the living room. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. can barbie be real i just want to date barbie. she's human isn't she. c'mon barbie where are you girl you gotta come and rollerblade to my place so we can forget everything and be aromantic lesbians together
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seiwas · 4 months
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sel hi darling how are you !! for your sleepover , today was a bit of a stressful day at work but i am seeing my friend for her birthday dinner today and im really excited to dress up !! the weather is very yucky tho :( how was your day, lovely ? sending you the warmest hugs ໒꒰ྀི ˶• ༝ •˶ ꒱ྀི১₊˚⊹♡
if you want some questions to answer <3 what are the subtle ways satoru and bakugo who their love towards you? and do you have any holiday traditions? seeing that christmas is just around the corner !
angie baby!!! my angiel!!! 🥺 welcome to the sleepover ✨
i’m doing good!! am happy you can unwind and dress up with your friend despite a really stressful day!! am currently writing away so i can finish col 4!! but my day’s been good 🥹 went to the gym, got some work done, baked a little too!!
and subtle affections oh you really know the way to my heart!! 🥺 despite satoru being a lil silly sometimes (all the time), i actually think he’s rlly attentive!! and conscious of everything!! i think he can easily pick up if i’m uncomfortable in social situations & tries hard to divert attention away from me (and on him instead) if that makes sense 🥺
for bakugo it’s kind of similar in that he’s really attentive too 🥺 and i think he’s big on acts of service a lot!! he always fills up my water bottle before i go to bed bc he knows it’s the first thing i reach for in the morning 🥺
holiday traditions!!! none really i think, besides the typical holiday eating and gift-giving 🤧 am excited for the time i get to make my own holiday traditions tho!
wbu angie bb? how do rinnie and sugu show their love for you? and what are you looking forward to the most this holiday season?
join the sleepover!! send in anything—a question, a story, dreams, recs, tips and tricks, and more!!
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menalez · 9 months
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sorry i have a kinda weird ask… (i’m 19 for reference) is age regression just thumb sucking and baby talk? or can you regress to like 6-7years old? i’m like stressing out haha because i have a lot of different ‘habits’ that make me feel better that are typically found in children. like i hug my knees when i’m upset, or hide in small spaces, or i dress kind of younger… not like a baby, but similar to how i did when i was like a 6 year old. (example sweatshirts with more kid friendly patterns, jeans with stars or flowers sewn into them, bows in my hair, the really short choppy bangs that lots of kids have, and just looking at pictures of me when i was a kid i have the exact same style now and dress basically the same) idk it’s nothing sexual or like little little- no diapers or little skirts or anything. but just small things common with kids. like i pack my lunches in those sectioned off lunch boxes made for elementary schoolers and they usually have just carrots grapes pb&j- or like juice boxes or cutting my food into squares or stars orusing a cookie cutter to shape it cute. idk this feels hard to explain but i basically just adopt a lot of habits or routines that i had back when i was like 6-7ish and i didn’t even really realize that i was doing it until about a week ago and i just feel so uncomfortable and i don’t know if i’m age regressing. does this sound like age regression? or do you think i’m just weird? i definitely did have a very traumatizing childhood and so i don’t know if it’s a response to that or if that’s just how i am.. i don’t use baby talk per say.. i sometimes kind of talk like how a kid would.. but just in my mannerisms not in the actual way it sounds. i also like to have a lot of ‘cute’ stuff - like stuffed animals or cat patterned or flower patterned or heart patterned sheets.. or coloring books but ones made for kids. stuff like that. i act normal around people, i’m very shy so i don’t really talk to anyone that i don’t already know, and my only friends are people i’ve known for years so they just already know how i am.. but still. but i don’t like act like i’m a baby.. or even a toddler …. i kind of pout sometimes but not on purpose. or like all the time if i’m upset i do something i did when i was a little kid. like i’ll play a video game i loved as a kid… or i’ll make myself a snack that i loved as a kid../ or just do something that i did when i was little to calm me down. like i don’t know there’s more but it’s hard to explain all of it. basically i don’t act like how a modern kid would (someone born in like 2016) like.. i just act almost exactly like how i did when **i** was a kid. idk if that changes anything… anyways sorry for rambling. i feel embarrassed saying this bc i know it’s weird for an adult, even a young one, to act like that.. i’m not like a perv or anything it’s not sexual. i’ve said that already but idk when ppl see age aggression a lot of the time they associate it with a sexual thing.. idk sorry i’m bad at explaining stuff. anyways does this sound like age regression or am i just weird?
if someone's age regression involved them acting like a kid from a different time than them then id jsut think they were weird or that its something else, i think its pretty normal for ur age regression to be more like.. as if ur still a child.
honestly tho from this alone, i dont know. i would think maybe youre childish but not necessarily age regressing. in my experience, when i age regress, i usually talk differently. like a dumb child or something. i also become extremely sensitive, prone to bawling, scared if someone yells or raises their voice, more childlike mannerisms. its not a constant thing for me at all, i noticed it only happens when im vulnerable in some way. if im afraid or stressed, for example. i wouldnt say ive got a childish diet or wear kids clothing, but also i dont age regress anywhere near as much as i used to as a teenager and i think it has become less and less prominent the older i got. i also dont think i get childish interests in those times either, but honestly the things i liked as a kid werent that childish anyways and i enjoy a lot of it today ? i also have a lot of plushies which when living alone i would hug them to sleep and sometimes i pout and the like but i feel like thats normal hfdhfdhs. its nothing sexual for me either and i think in general age regression is more like, a trauma thing rather than a sexual thing. the people who have made it sexual or a lifestyle thing need to be seriously evaluated esp the men that get off on that (actually the men who get off on that should die, but anyways.)
also i think doing things that u have loved since childhood isnt age regression, i feel like thats a pretty logical self-soothing tactic? i also often will go to things that are comforting to me and such things are often positive things from my childhood
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BJTM Headcanons
copy and pasted from my ramblings on discord between my friend and i so they may not make sense, i don't care. enjoy!!
first, a joke that's not really a joke. iykyk
Charles: What are your pronouns Beej: What's a pronoun? Delia: Indicative but not exclusive to your gender identity Beej: Stop swearing at me Delia: Can we refer to you as they/them? Beej: But my name is… well I can't say it but you all know it. Charles: Lydia, what are Mr. Juice's pronouns? Lydia: Oh, I use He/Him for him, he doesn't really care though
He/they beej all the way, nonbinary king. he's a demon for one, and also just doesn't actually care what people call him as long as they see him, also also he will wear whatever he wants, it's all just clothing to him. in my brain beej is like "idfk what a pronoun is and i am NOT about to learn" and then, post!musical rambling ahead: so like, if beej comes back after the events of the musical, and like, yknow, they all talk and apologies go around bc no one is really w/o fault even if beej went on a little hissy-fit and almost killed them all (and was killed in return), i like to imagine they struggle w/ what to call him bc hearing his name said by breathers is like a physical tugging in his chest, and it's not painful, persay, but it's uncomfortable and attention-grabbing. And I'm sure he doesn't really want people calling him Lawrence for a few reasons (only Juno calls him that, for one, and also he doesn't look like a Lawrence), and while Lydia would have no problem calling him BJ, im sure others have their reservations bc.... the other thing that stands for LMAO so yeah, he goes by like, Beej, BJ, Beetle, Bug, Mr. Juice (when Charles is really annoyed and/or is one of his rare times of teasing the demon), B-Man (by himself), etc and only when they're out in public where other people can see him is he ever called Lawrence because he's kind of under the cover of being Lydia's older brother who came home from college, and no one really wants to explain what Beej/BJ stands for
also, he's not great at spelling in english, the rules change too much for him to keep up and also he never really cared, and he's not the best reader out there, but he's pretty fucking good with history (hey, he lived through it!), and also math, surprisingly to everyone, including himself. He wants to be good with science but the last time he thought about it they hadn't even come up with the Big Bang theory so he's… a little out of the loop. ((he's fluent in Death and in whatever language demons use, though, but it doesn't exactly translate to english, hence why he spells his name Beetlejuice when it's supposed to be Betelgeuse like the star. i imagine he's pretty good w/ like, Olde English because that's what it was when he was learning it, but it's been modernized and he's just like "fuck it spelling correctly is for chumps and grandmas anyway")) also isnt that sad? he's named after the second brightest star in Orion's belt, meaning the self-proclaimed "Ghost with the Most" will never be the best
oh another thing, beej sometimes repeats things in 3s, as kind of a callback to his curse (his name being said three times), autistic/adhd swag makin me repeat shit i say multiple times sometimes and i am totally not projecting, and also because echolalia is a bitch that i too deal with. Lydia does it too, but only once or twice, and the two sometimes get stuck in an increasingly amusing feedback loop of repeating the same dumb word back and forth until one of them snaps out of it basically once delia walked in on Beej and Lydia playing mario-kart, repeating, "bababooie" back and forth and had been doing so for 10 minutes, and continued to do so for another 5 before Delia stepped in and got their attention beej and lydia BOTH got that autistic swag, sue me. also beej probably also has ADHD but i may or may not be projecting on that front <3 idk i just like to think that beej and lydia are both just unapologetically autistic together and when people try to be rude about it to one of them the other is like "i'll literally fucking kill you and no one will ever find the body <3"
oh and i personally will be using 'beetlejuice' as the spelling for his name except in very certain circumstances (ie someone uses his true name for any reason and/or when things are being spoken about in demon tongue. i like to think beej personally butchered the spelling bc he KNEW it would piss his mom off and he was right because it DID piss her off to high heaven)
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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 1 year
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im really confused bc i thought i was aro but i think i felt some romantic attraction to a cis boy in my school and and he is really nice but i promised myself i would never date/kiss/etc cis people bc it would make me feel super uncomfortable and now i found out he is straight too which is worse but im still confused about wether or not this was romantic attraction because im very likely autistic and have trouble identifying my own feelings and understanding what's happening with the people around me, understanding what I actually want and don't want and knowing what's the right thing to do in certain moments and im confused really confused (this boy gave signals of being queer like: being friends with queer people, holding my hand, painting his nails, talking to me- im openly trans and some people just pretend i don't exist because of it, letting me brush his hair and idk this is more confusing, why is a cishet man doing those things ¿ it doesn't make sense in my mind but idk if he's happy like that I suppose we will just let him be) another thing to consider is that his brother was there when he said he was straight and his brother is always trying to make him "less weird " or something like that and he never says "no" to his brother, idk i think i don't actually care if he likes me back or not, because i would never feel comfortable anyway I've been wondering if i actually feel romantic attraction, if i actually not or if im frayrom(feeling romantic attraction when you barely know someone and then that attraction fades) or something, idk :[ i also have trouble with gender dysphoria because my teacher said some horrible things about me and i just said some other horrible transphobic things about myself in front of some classmates because of it and since then :[ idk i don't like this and i don't know what to do and when I have trouble with being queer in this world I always come to this blog to ask you because you seem to always know something, like a reliable queer teacher that will help you if you need it, sorry for this :[
Hi anon
I'm going to try to answer this but I'm not sure how much help I can be particularly about the 'are you experiencing romantic attraction' part since I'm aromantic and autistic as well so I don't really know what romantic attraction is either and am really bad at reading people so I can't really even properly suggest whether you're perhaps not aromantic after all or what this boy's interest in you may mean. Maybe someone else who does experience it can weigh in on that. Although I do think perhaps to some degree it doesn't really always matter that much, trying to neatly divide up and define and label everything. I do get that these things are confusing, that people in general actually are really confusing especially if you're neurodivergent, and sometimes we want to try to put labels on things as a way to try to make things that bit easier to understand but I think too sometimes you can get too caught up in worrying about 'am I this or am I actually that' when in reality I think our feelings and emotions aren't ever that neat and easy to define and pin down and put into organised little boxes, like there's always going to be a lot of overlap between 'friendship' and 'romance'; there are going to be things that people who are 'just' friends and people who are romantically involved with each other both do. I understand the importance of labels to many people of course but I do think sometimes people feel like they have to rush to put a neat precise label onto themselves and it's this huge deal to pick the right one as soon as possible because they'll be stuck with it forever then and then sometimes they start to think actually they picked the wrong one and that really confuses and stresses them out, when it doesn't actually matter, if you try out and discard several labels before you find the right one. It's fine to question, it's fine to try things out and experiment with labels and throw away the ones that don't work, it's fine too if something fits you to start with but then something about you changes and that original thing doesn't fit you any more. It may be really confusing but really it's no big deal particularly not in the grand scheme of things - people make mistakes, or people change, that's just life really, that's how we grow and develop, and ultimately labels are there to be used only if you find them helpful and useful to you, so frayromantic for instance; maybe you are or maybe you aren't but if you decide that you are you still don't have to use that label for yourself if you don't really find it helpful to you.
When it comes to the idea of dating or kissing or whatever with cis people, I do get being wary of cis people in general because so much bigotry and hate does come from cis people but I do feel more like personally if it did come to considering having a close relationship of some sort with someone I would have to judge people as individuals not as a whole (because honestly there are many cis people who are amazing, accepting and knowledgeable [about trans issues] trans allies and there are trans people who are very bigoted and hateful even towards other trans people so... I'm not saying you not wanting to do anything 'intimate' with cis people is wrong by the way, if that's how you still feel that's totally understandable, but like with the labels, if you want to change your mind about that that's fine too; you're allowed to break that promise to yourself if you want to).
The straight thing or the issue of sexuality in general would be more the part that could be an issue for me and I can see more where your discomfort with that part of someone might come from because presumably it may imply if he is attracted to you he's not perceiving you as your actual gender. I think perhaps if you reach a point where you do feel that maybe you are attracted to each other in some sort of maybe romantic way and you want to pursue some sort of 'romantic' relationship with him, that would be something you would need to talk over between you so you both know better where you stand on things like is there a possibility he isn't actually straight after all? How does he actually view your gender and is he accepting of what your gender truly is? Would you be comfortable dating a straight person when them being straight may effectively be misgendering you? If not would he be prepared to change the way he labels his sexuality to avoid misgendering you? Though if you absolutely don't want a more 'intimate' relationship with this guy then these things probably don't matter so much and it's probably not something you do need to be worrying about too much.
Also of course it is possible this guy isn't actually straight after all, or is at least questioning his sexuality, though I don't think that things like painting his nails is inherently a queer thing, maybe it's just an alternative fashion type thing. But if perhaps he is at least questioning his own sexuality that could be another reason why he likes hanging out with you and other queer people, because as well as just enjoying being friends with you he feels safer with you.
I'm afraid I don't really know anything about frayromanticism so maybe you need to search for more frayromantic people and see if their experiences seem to match yours.
I will also point out though that being aromantic doesn't necessarily mean never having a 'romantic' relationship since attraction (or lack of) and actions are different things. I mean don't let yourself get pushed into things you genuinely don't want to do or be rushed into things you think you might like but are still unsure about but if you like someone and they seem to like you, maybe you'd still want to do certain things with them even if you're not actually romantically attracted to them, maybe you just enjoy holding hands/kissing/going on dates/whatever and that wouldn't inherently/automatically mean you're not actually aromantic, and so long as you're properly communicating with each other about your feelings and your boundaries and everything that's fine. (But of course it's fine if you never want to date/kiss/have sex with/whatever else with anyone else too.)
I am sorry for what you've been through with the teacher. I don't know what your exact situation is i.e. what country or culture you're in and what kind of support network (i.e. family, other friends, local queer organisations, doctors or therapists etc who can help you in 'real life' with your gender dysphoria, etc) you have and I don't know whether a teacher behaving like that would be illegal or at least broadly condemned by society or whether it would be just accepted or ignored by most people but I think their behaviour is something you should seek help and advice with from someone who is better placed to do something about that, and ideally an official complaint about this teacher should be made to someone higher up than them if that is possible for you (or someone acting on your behalf) to do. Whether it's related to something like their queerness or not, a teacher making horrible remarks about a student is a cruel and despicable thing for them to do, it is bullying and they should be punished for that and ideally you shouldn't have to have them as a teacher any more. If there isn't any real way out of that situation though please try to ignore them; try not to take to heart the things this teacher said; try not to internalise their hatred and prejudices because they are wrong and you are so much better than that teacher is. I do hope there is a way out of that situation though and also that you can start to figure things out about your attraction a bit more soon.
Tiger
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