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#huge for england at least
wonder-worker · 21 days
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people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?
#yes Elizabeth was without a doubt considered too low-born to be queen#no she was not a commoner and nobody actually called her that during her life (so I'm not sure why people are claiming that they did?)#Elizabeth's social status was not a problem in itself; it was a problem in the context of queenship and marrying into royalty#Context is important in this and for literally everything else when it comes to analyzing history. Any discussion is worthless without it.#obviously pop culture-esque articles claiming that she was 'a commoner who captured the king's heart' are wrong; she wasn't#But emphasizing that ACTUALLY she was part of the gentry with a well-born mother and just leaving it at that as some sort of “GOTCHA!”#is equally if not more irresponsible and entirely irrelevant to discussions of the actual time period we're studying.#Elizabeth *was* considered unworthy and unacceptable as queen precisely because of her lower social status#her father and brother had literally been derided as social-climbers by Salisbury Warwick and Edward himself just a few years earlier#the Woodvilles' marriage prospects clearly reflected their status (and 'place') in society: EW herself had first married a knight and all#siblings married within the gentry to people of a similar status. compare that to the prestigious marriages arranged after EW became queen#Elizabeth having a lower social status was not 'created' by propaganda against her; it fueled and shaped propaganda against her#that's a huge huge difference; it's irresponsible and silly to conflate the two as I've seen a recent tumblr post cavalierly do#like I said she was considered too low-born to be queen long before any of the propaganda Warwick Clarence or Richard put out against her#and the fact that Elizabeth was targeted on the basis of her social status was in itself novel and unprecedented#no queen before her was ever targeted in such a manner; Clearly Elizabeth was considered notably 'different' in that regard#(and was quite literally framed as the enemy and destroyer of 'the old royal blood of this realm' and all its actual 'inheritors' like..)#ngl this sort of discussion always leaves a bad taste in my mouth#because it's not like England and France (et all) are at war or consider each other mortal enemies in the 21st century#both are in fact western european imperialistic nations who've been nothing but a blight to the rest of the world including my own country#yet academic historians clearly have no problem contextualizing the xenophobia that medieval foreign queens faced as products of their time#and sympathizing with them accordingly (Eleanor of Provence; Joan of Navarre; Margaret of Anjou; etc)(at least by their own historians)#Nor were foreign queens the “worst” targets of xenophobia: that was their attendants or in times of war commoners or soldiers#who actually had to bear the brunt of English aggression#queens were ultimately protected and guaranteed at least a veneer of dignity and respect because of their royal status#yet once again historians and people have no problem contextualizing and understanding their difficulties regardless of all this#so what is the problem with contextualizing the classism *Elizabeth* faced and understanding *her* difficulties?#why is the prejudice against her constantly diminished & downplayed? (Ive never even seen any historian directly refer to it as 'classism')#after all it was *Elizabeth* who was more vulnerable than any queen before her due to her lack of powerful foreign or national support#and Elizabeth who faced a form of propaganda distinctly unprecedented for queens. it SHOULD be emphasized more.
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breitzbachbea · 11 months
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1, 3, 9, 11?
OH, thank you very much!!!!
Meta OC Question
What inspired you to create your oc?
Depends on the OC, but there's two reasons at the start of all my OC endeavours in the past, which also intertwine:
I've always been a very creative kid with adhd that makes her daydream all day long, so I've been plagued by visions that needed a creative outlet & writing was the choice.
Since I wrote since elementary school, whenever I liked another piece of media, I'd express it by writing fanfiction, which would usually involve OCs. I'd often spin so hard and so fast out of control that I would make up a whole batch of OCs, often together with friends, who'd interact with the main cast and story, but also spin off into their own storylines.
These days, where I only make OCs and write mostly for my Hetalia Human AU (which is 10% Fanfic, but 90% Orig Fic): The mainer characters come to me because I am plagued by visions and constantly inspired by real life. I have over 250 named characters in this AU, PLEASE stop me from making more. Went to Romania for Erasmus for a week and came back with an OC concept that could have such a dysfunctional and toxic queer romance with one of my underdeveloped Hungarian OCs. I need to be stopped.
However, once mainer characters are established, OCs related to them spring up out of necessity or because I am like 'You know what I didn't do yet and would be fun in relation to these new bitches and also the old bitches?'. OC creation never happens in a vacuum, I am all about how they add to the world I created for the past 10 years and could interact with its inhabitants.
3. What is the origin of the character's name?
Used to go on babynaming sites and look at the most popular options, which is why all my Irish mainer characters have English names (RIP). These days I like to do some research on the cultural background they come from and also take inspiration from public figures from their country/region/city. However, once that is done I usually just visit Behind the Name and spend 15 minutes browsing, talking with friends about options, ignoring their feedback and then choose a name by closing my eyes and throwing a dart at the PC. I do consider nominative determinism to a degree, but I'll tell myself that the parents who named the kid couldn't have known what they will grow up to be and I'll also get used to any name.
I also love to use names I encountered in life, too! Like old classmates or family names of friends!
9. In a group dynamic, what kind of role does the oc usually fill? Are they a worry wart? A troublemaker? The straight man?
I LOVE GROUP DYNAMICS AND I HAVE SOOOO MANY OF THEM. Let's take the Chaos Seven, aka Team Ireland + Soph and Team Sicily as an example.
Team Ireland shares one collective braincell. Paddy, who's twice as old as Harry and Charlie, is its keeper about 40% of the time. Since he helped raise Harry since he was six, is a father figure to Charlie and helped raise Sophie since she was born, he's the Guardian figure of the Group. Hashtag Daddy Paddy. However, he's also a bastard like his own kids, so while he tries to be a good influence, he's not exactly the voice of reason. Just hopelessly devoted to the three and wants to ensure that they don't make choices they will regret without return.
Charlie is the social butterfly, or at least the one who's the most willing to engage in diplomacy and also enjoys working people the most. Do not let that fool you, half of the European underground wants to punch his teeth in for being endlessly annoying, but the other half wants to either fuck him or keep him as a purse dog. He and Harry are brother's from another mother and when Harry is too stubborn and fatalistic to consider anyone outside of himself, Charlie will pick up the slack and care for him and their goals. To Soph, he's the big brother figure with whom she can discuss personal affairs that she feels Harry and Paddy are too close and guardian-like for comfort to discuss with.
Harry's the driving force that inspires the others, since if he is hellbent on something, he'll pull through with it and won't let anyone push him around. He bickers all day long with the rest (especially Charlie, Soph and Harry do nothing but pick on each other), but is also always there to root for the others and take risks on their behalf. Probably the biggest troublemaker, but since Team Ireland as a whole is nothing but troublemakers, it's a bit unfair to single him out. He's got an unmatched love for pranks, though!
Soph is the nestling, the little darling of the family. All the others care for her, and as she grows up, she takes more and more after her brother, for better and for worse. Being Harry's little sister, the two are especially close, but she worries and cares for all three of them, as they do for her. When she's with the other three, she's a troublemaker who's not gonna let anyone push her or her family around, much like Harry.
Michele ... he is the leader and the voice of reason in Team Sicily, the one who raised the twins Marco and Lorenzo together with his mother. Since Marco and Lorenzo look up to him, he's also their guardian figure and tries to be as good an influence as he can - he's also constantly herding cats with these two mischievous guys.
Marco and Lorenzo share their creativity and their analytical thinking, as well as their love for mischief. They're definitely troublemakers, but at the same time problem solvers extraordinaire. And while their devotion to Michele is blind to a degree, they also unite in pulling him back onto the rug at times. It's not often that they need to play the straight man and they aren't good at that role with anyone but Michele, but they can do it.
11. What is your least favorite trait regarding your oc?
I mean it is an Organized Crime AU, so for most it gotta be, among others, the uhhhh ability to justify the horrors to themselves.
But that aside. I don't really think in favourite and not-favourite, since an interplay of traits is what makes OCs so close to actual humans and simply fun as literary constructs.
If I was held at gunpoint, though - That Hugo is so persistent in his quest to be liked/loved/the best that he can't take no for an answer in the long run, to his own detriment and everyone else's. That SK, aka Sri Kadek, is so stubborn in her perceived role as being the fixer of the family that she won't consider someone else's motivation for how they treat her could be genuinely out of caring for her. And most of the OCs are assholes, again because of the circumstances and I am a messy bitch who loves drama, but the Arora twins (Frej and Freja) take the objectification and the prioritization of their entertainment a little bit far even for this crowd. (... but also, that does make them very very sexy <3).
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dawningfairytale · 1 year
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mad about a tweet of an article portraying something technically true but basically wrong
#while yes it's conservative under larger society given this thing's circumstances it's actually pretty fucking progressive#also 'church of england so scotland should just leave' DO YOU NOT THINK ANGLICAN CHURCHES DONT EXIST ELSEWHERE#READ THE DAMN ARTICLE#i know it is bad. i am acutely aware of the homophobia in the church for some fucking reason#but like. this is genuinely better than it is elsewhere.#anglican churches being able to bless gay couples is a huge step in the right direction#no! it's not enough! i know that. but guess what? sometimes you have to muscle through it and wait for the homophobes to change their minds#or die out#this conundrum takes a long time. clearly. but this isn't the worst treatment of queer christians in the western world#(by the church at least) and i'm sick of people acting as though it is#do you know the homophobia that exists specifically in the sydney anglican church?#do you know that the nsw and act baptist association is debating over whether churches can be churches if they're 'same-sex affirming'#ie. can churches still be baptist if they're doing LITERALLY WHAT THE UPDATE SAYS THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND IS DOING#and the coe is worse in my state than most other places in the western world so ya i shit on it#but still. read the fucking article and understand that it's a bloody nuanced situation#vent#vent post#tw christianity#tw christianity mention#tw homophobia#in tags#THE ARTICLE IS PROGRESS YEAH PROGRESS IS SLOW BUT I'D MUCH RATHER CELEBRATE IT THAN REPRIMAND IT#OH YEAH AND THE FUCKING BIBLE BELT IN AMERICA#you're going to tell me. that whatever the fuck's going on there is comparable to 'sowwy we still can't marry gay couples but we're trying!#we can bless the union which is an improvement!!!'
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charliemwrites · 4 months
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Woof woof yall.
You’re out in the woods one day, taking photos and going for a little hike. Stupid mental health walk or something; whatever, it’s a nice day and you’ve gotten some good shots. You’re just about to turn back when a huge brown and black wolf lopes out from a nearby thicket.
There aren’t any wolves in England though! Hunted to extinction - it’s why you feel safe bebopping around the forest alone in the daylight. So you see this big fuck-off sized “dog” and coo at the pretty puppy.
“Hello handsome boy, aren’t you just gorgeous! Will you come say hi?”
You do all the right things that you’re supposed to do with an unfamiliar dog but he just barges right through. Trots up to you, nose shoved into your crotch. You startle, bark a laugh, shove at his big stupid head.
“A little forward,” you tease, scratching under his chin, “but it’s better than biting.”
You feel all around his neck for a collar, but no luck. He must be someone’s though, huge blue eyes too intelligent and focused on your words. And his coat is so well maintained, glossy and shedded.
“Do you know how to… sit?”
An adorable head tilt, and the big dog settles onto his hind quarters.
“What a good boy!” you croon. “So smart!”
He licks at your palm and wrist as you scratch at him, huge tail thumping. A canine grin, tongue lolling out as he waits for your next command.
You hum.
“Well, guess we can check if you’re microchipped, huh? Or at least I can get you some water. See if someone recognizes you…”
You make a kissy noise at him. “Let’s go, big boy. Come.”
And to your delight, he falls into step with you. He weaves along the path ahead and behind, but always loops back to you, brushing against your thigh as if to reassure you he’s still there.
You hum as you walk, giggling when you see his ears twitch and swivel towards you. Tease that he should do better if he doesn’t like your version of Jolene.
You only cross paths with two other people on the walk, a pair of guys clearly out for a more serious hike. The dog plants himself between you and them, ears pinning back and a low growl erupting from his chest. You startle a bit, carefully burying your fingers around his scruff in case you need to grab him quickly.
“I’m guessing he doesn’t belong to either of you, then?” you ask.
One of the guys shakes his head. The other gives you an odd look. “He’s not yours?”
The dog barks, loud and rough. You shush him, explain the situation to the hikers. But the dog never stops rumbling and they quickly go on their way, keeping a wide berth.
You huff. “Don’t like men, huh?”
Poor thing. Maybe he was abandoned by a mean owner?
“S’alright, bud, I’ll be good to you.”
He follows you all the way back to your home. And when you open the door, shoulders right past you.
“Ah, shit,” you groan. “You weren’t supposed to come in!”
He gives you an almost betrayed look. You try not to huff in amusement.
“So help me, if you bring nasty things in this house I will shave you. Shave you. You’ll look so silly. Like an overgrown raw turkey.”
The dog turns, trots back to you. You didn’t realize just how big he is until he’s got his big paws on your shoulders. You blink, have to take a step back to brace against the weight of him. In his hind legs he’s taller than you. Really could pass for a pure bred wolf.
A big, rough tongue licks from your jaw to your forehead. You scrunch up your face but end up laying a kiss on his muzzle in return.
“Alright, you big nasty. Down you get.”
You shut and lock the door behind you, brushing leaves and dirt off.
“Okay, shower first,” you say aloud, already tugging off your clothes. “Then we’ll run into town, see if we can track down your family.”
You don’t mind the dog staring, unblinking, as you strip down right there, balling things up to avoid tracking a mess through the house. Nor do you mind him following you to the bathroom, though you do push at his snout when he licks the back of your knee. Just normal dog things, really. They don’t get people stuff like clothes or boundaries.
“Stay out of trouble, bud. I’ll be right out.”
As you wash up, you consider the merits of adopting. Only if you can’t find the dog’s actual family, that is. It’s lonely in your little house sometimes - and a bit spooky at night. A big, protective dog might be just the thing.
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allywthsr · 1 month
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LITTLE SPOON | (l.norris)
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summary: Lando’s never been the little spoon before
wordcount: 1.3k words
pairing: landonorris x fem!reader
warnings: none!
notes: it’s rather short, but I didn’t know what else to write
You’ve been dating Lando for a little over three months, in these months you‘ve tried to see Lando as often as possible, which was a bit tricky sometimes with his crazy schedule, but you still made it work.
Today wasn’t a day made for Lando, when he woke up this morning, it was raining and he noticed that he forgot to charge his phone and he didn’t have the time to charge it, his portable charger was also running low on battery, so he had to fly to England with only twelve percent. When he was at the MTC, he sat in the simulator and didn’t get the results he wanted, and Oscar was quicker in almost every sector. And in the cafeteria, they only had foods involved with fish, and the only thing that wasn’t near a fish, didn’t taste good. That almost ruined his day, the cherry on top was when he was on his way to you and stopped for a small grocery run, he got crowded by his fans outside, someone must’ve posted that he was in a Tesco in London. After taking pictures with almost everyone, he looked at his phone and saw about ten missed calls and at least twenty messages from you, asking where he was and if he could bring some extra apples. With a groan, he went back inside and prayed that no one else was waiting for him, and luckily there were only about ten people this time, he quickly said hello to everyone and hopped back into his car, which was also running low on fuel and he had to get gas, taking him even longer to be in your arms.
The last thing that almost made him cry, was when he went up the stairs to your apartment and with the heavy bags in his hands, he didn’t see a step and tripped, luckily he didn’t get seriously hurt, but the groceries were now all over the floor and his knee was hurting from the fall. After collecting it and putting it back into the bags, he had enough. Enough of this stupid day. He rang your doorbell and stomped passed you directly to the kitchen where he unloaded the food, with a surprised look you followed him.
“Hello to you too, my darling.”
“Sorry, bad day.”
And with that, he turned to you and fell into your arms, you caressed his back and kissed his neck and cheek repeatedly, wanting to comfort him.
“What happened?”
“It all started this morning with me forgetting to charge my phone, being shit in the simulator, bad food, and don’t get me started on the huge crowd that stood outside of Tesco, I also fell up your stairs.”
You immediately pouted and pushed him away to look at him, “My angel, is there anything I can do?”
“Make me food and cuddle”, Lando said after a while of thinking.
You nodded and kissed his lips with a smile, you knew he needed to be babied now, you sent him to the couch where he put on his favorite show, while you made dinner. You didn’t waste too much time preparing a fancy dinner, some pasta, and a sauce, but you knew that was his comfort food, your pasta.
Normally you sat down at the dinner table to eat, but you figured he needed his comfort show and the couch tonight, the day clearly wasn’t nice to your boy, so you could be to him.
With two plates in your hands, you made your way to him, he was lying on the couch with a small pout while checking his phone every now and then.
“I‘m finished with dinner, can you sit up so you can eat?”
He nodded and scooched a little to the right, so you could sit next to him and share the coffee table, you placed the plates on said table and sat down. You kissed his shoulder, “Enjoy your meal, Lan, after that, we can cuddle or whatever you’d like.”
“I‘d like that, thank you for making dinner, I wanted to help you.”
“Don’t worry, we all have bad days sometimes.”
You both started eating and silently watched the show Lando put on, you let him be in his head and think about the day he had. Lando and you quickly finished your meal and he immediately leaned back against the soft cushions, you knew he wouldn’t be doing anything today.
“Can I put the dishes in the dishwasher quickly or do we want to cuddle now?”
“If you hurry with the dishes?”
“Always.”
So you quickly put the dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed a kinder chocolate bar that you could give to Lando, maybe that would cheer him up a little, you always kept a small stack of these in case that Lando gets a sweet tooth and needed chocolate.
When Lando saw you coming back, he laid down and opened his arms, for you to lay in.
“Don’t you wanna be the small spoon today? I want to comfort you.”
“Nah, I‘ve never been the little spoon, I get comforted when I hold you in my arms.”
“You’re a walking cheeseball, aren’t you? I brought you a kinder chocolate bar.”
He quietly mumbled a ‘Thank you’ and already opened the package of the small chocolate before you could lie down.
You moved in front of him and he closed his arms around you and snuggled with his face in your neck, inhaling your scent he loved so much. Your hands found their way to his‘ and you caressed his knuckles and played with his long fingers, both of you were silent and enjoyed the peace that lingered in the living room. You knew Lando was exhausted so it was no wonder that he fell asleep pretty quickly.
You hated to wake him up, but you knew if he would sleep on the couch he would have back pain tomorrow, so you carefully turned around in his embrace and kissed his chin. Slowly caressing his cheeks and repeatedly kissing his face, everywhere where you could reach him. Slowly he opened his eyes and groaned, he needed his sleep and hated getting disturbed.
“Should we move this to the bedroom? You‘ll be more comfortable there.”
Lando nodded against your neck in which he had put his head after opening his eyes. You got up and pulled on his hand, he got up after looking at you with a pout and you walked into the bathroom where you two did your little night routine. When you went into the bedroom, Lando laid down on his side and opened his arms again, waiting for you to slip in.
“What if I‘m the big spoon tonight, you’re still not feeling too good, and it can be very comforting.“
“I don’t know Y/N, I‘ve never been the little spoon, I want to protect you and hold you close.”
“I‘m still close to you when I cuddle you, come on, let’s try it out, we can switch back if you don’t like it.”
“You won’t give up, will you?”
You shook your head and he scooched a little more to your side, you laid down and wrapped your arms around his body, caressing his tummy, you also slipped a leg between his. It felt good having him in your arms and cuddling like that.
After a few minutes you felt him moving, “And? What do you think?”
“It’s the best fucking thing ever, you’re never gonna be the little spoon ever again, only if you have a bad day, baby.”
taglist: @millinorrizz @jamieeboulos @loxbbg @noneofyourfbusinessworld @myownwritings
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the-busy-ghost · 2 years
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OH HORROR OF HORRORS
It seems that ‘full cast’ means that the recording has removed some of the ‘said Mrs So-and-So’ and ‘added Mr X’ and ‘continued Lady Umpteen’ bits in conversations, presumably because they think that the reader can differentiate between each character by ear. 
Unfortunately where the accents are not all easy to distinguish from one another, and when I’m working at the same time so not concentrating completely, this is not the case. Guess I’m just going to be lost then.
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wileys-russo · 5 months
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Okay so I was thinking of a blurb with Mapi and Ingrid where reader takes a nap everyday after training or a game but she’s forced to go to team bonding at Alexias place by Mapi and Ingrid and is grumpy since she can’t take her nap and everyone is like what’s up with her when they see the grumpy look on her face and Mapi’s just like ‘oh she didn’t take her nap’ so the whole time reader is falling asleep on the couch either on someone’s shoulder or lap but she can’t because of the noise and when everyone’s finally gone and it’s just them and Alexia she finally falls asleep on Ingrid’s lap
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as someone who absolutely thrives off naps, this was felt team bonding II m.león & i.engen
you could have said it was partially your fault, and maybe you would have had the situation been any different. however today you were much less willing to accept any sort of blame, rather pointing the finger at anyone and everyone else.
it had started as you'd all come back into the change rooms after a particularly brutal training session, the sun glaring down on you the entire time had meant your normally tanned and sun kissed skin was mildly burnt and coated with a thin sheen of sweat.
the first session of the day hitting the gym wasn't as bad, the team partially sheltered from the sweltering heat of the barcelona sun. thursdays were always a double session given it was the middle of the week and friday was a rest day, so the second session was of course out on the pitch and it would have been understated to say you struggled.
you'd lived in spain now for nearly three years however born and raised in dreary drizzly england had meant it had been nothing short of a huge adjustment to get used to the change in lifestyle, weather and climate.
especially when it came to running around, training and playing matches on days that sometimes peaked well above thirty degrees, you were often grateful for the drop in temperature when blessed with late afternoon and early evening games.
growing up you'd never been someone who could sit still, always itching to be running around, keeping your hands busy or kicking some sort of sports ball. you'd played almost every sport you could growing up, both of your siblings the same.
you'd felt sorry for your mother, a single mum trying to wrangle three incredibly active kids and dash them from school to practice and home with three different schedules. you would always be grateful to her, and to your grandparents who basically drove you every afternoon to some sort of extra curricular.
football had been what had stuck through the ages, your sister sticking with tennis and your brother abandoning everything to pursue law, though he played a friendly five a side with his colleagues of a monday night.
however despite your insanely high energy levels, work ethic and stamina, all of that exerted force had meant you'd crashed hard and very rarely had a healthy or consistent sleep schedule throughout your youth.
this had meant some days the best rest you got was naps. wether it be a quick twenty minute power nap on the way from school to football or a three hour doze on the sofa of a sunday afternoon after you'd played, you became incredibly dependent on the brief moments of rest and bliss that came with them.
so skipping ahead to present days, that hadn't changed. despite your professional career meaning you should have a consistent, healthy and reliable sleeping pattern, the majority of your rest and recharge came from your naps.
despite consistent scalding from the training staff about the importance of a solid eight hour minimum rest, most nights you were lucky if you slept five to six hours, which of course everyone reminded was due to the frequent naps you took throughout the day.
however old habits die hard and it wasn't anything that you felt affected your playing ability, so who was it really harming? or at least that was the case, most days.
today was no exception, if anything after such a tiresome day of running about in the heat you were extra exhausted and looked forward to nothing more than returning home. the safe little haven you'd created with your girlfriends would greet you with its sun soaked little loveseat you'd often curl up in to get a quick thirty minute power nap in.
or the end of your ever so cozy L shaped couch where you'd stretch out for a longer doze, often with your head in ingrids lap as she read a book and mapi would play video games beside you, headphones on as to not disturb you, both your girlfriends well equipped to your routine.
early on in the relationship they'd of course tried their hand to coax you into a much more stable sleeping routine. but rapidly learning all it would lead to was a night of you tossing and turning and fidgeting in between them, the constant movement and small huffs of frustration in turn keeping them awake as well, they quickly gave up on that battle.
but back to the locker room you'd busied yourself quickly showering and changing, too busied with your head in the clouds to overhear the team making plans for a bonding night at alexia's house. tomorrow being a rest day meant it was perfect to do something tonight, and had you tuned in and overheard you might have had some more time to plan.
however buried deep in your own thoughts and quickly sinking further and further into your bodies screaming demands for a nap you'd zoned out entirely. you'd snapped back to it at a jingle of keys by your ear, glancing up to find mapi staring down at you with an amused smile.
you were quick to your feet, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, waving your goodbyes as the three of you headed out of the building down to the carpark.
again you zoned out, head a fuzzy mess and skin still crawling from the thick humidity which plagued the air around you. had you been paying attention you might have overheard ingrid and frido or patri and pina behind you, all discussing who was needing to take what to alexia's.
mapi sliding into the drivers seat you kissed ingrids cheek in appreciation as she offered you the front, dumping your bags in the boot and settling into the warm leather you grimaced slightly but sighed, glad to at least finally be off your feet.
you smiled for a few photos as fans hung by the front gate, all keening to get pictures with their favourite players, though all three of you exhausted from the heat you kept it brief. finally on the road and heading home you joined into the initial conversation, though quickly found your eyes growing heavy.
"hey bebita no, we're almost home." mapi chuckled, hand moving to gently squeeze your thigh to stop you dozing off. both her and ingrid were more than capable of carrying your sleeping form inside as had been done plenty of times before, though exhausted from training if it was something that could be avoided then they would do their best to do so.
you busied yourself discussing training with the two of them, as well as the upcoming game against athletico on the weekend. your mother was coming to visit for a few days and you spent time going over what she wanted to do and see while she was here, the three of you grabbing your bags finally home.
in the elevator up to your shared apartment your struggle increased, eyes heavy once again as your head fell to mapi's shoulder, leaning a little more into her body making her smile and kiss the side of your head affectionately.
you heard her ask you something in spanish but half asleep you only hummed, agreeing to whatever she'd said as the doors opened on your floor. ingrid unlocking your front door you stumbled inside, scowling at the blonde haired spaniard beside you who'd stuck her foot out to trip you.
ingrid scolding her in norweigein you threw your bag at her and she chuckled, moving to put them away. you squatted down to fondly rub bagheera's head, picking him up and making a beeline for the sofa, your usual spot calling your name as you sighed grateful for the air con blasting around the apartment.
"siesta time handsome." you mumbled, collapsing tiredly onto the sofa and moving a cushion behind your head, bagheera curling up on your stomach. you sighed contendly, one hand stroking his warm fur as your eyes slammed shut and you started to drift off.
though your brief slumber was halted by something poking at your cheek. "go away!" you huffed, cracking one eye open to see mapi stretched out on the other end of the sofa, poking you with her toe as you shoved her legs away.
"what are you doing elskling?" once again you began to drift until a new voice spoke up, now opening both eyes you looked up to see a pair of green orbs looking down at you curiously.
"what does it look like i'm doing?" you mumbled back tiredly, flinching as the older girl pinched your leg for the comment. "takin a nap." you sighed, eyes closing again as you felt bagheera's weight move off of you, jumping to instead settle in between mapi's tattooed legs which still stretched along the sofa.
"why? we need to get ready to go to alexia's." at that your eyes shot wide open and a frown knitted deep into your eyebrows, pushing yourself up to rest on your elbows.
"why are we going to ale's?" you questioned, confused at the odd break in your usual post training routine. "see amor i told you she was not listening." mapi tutted, shaking her head at you as you shot her a tired glare.
"did you not hear anything we spoke about after training? or in the car? or in the elevator?" ingrid questioned, an annoyed frown settling into her features as she folded her arms and stared pointedly down at you. "no i did not. i'm tired and i need a nap." you grumbled, annoyance growing the longer you were forced to stay awake.
with that you rolled over onto your side, back showing to the tall norweigein who scoffed. "hey! wakey wakey." mapi's feet dug into your back as she cooed at you, shaking your body as you inhaled deeply.
a string of spanish curses dropping from your lips you turned and smacked her legs, a little harder than intended before getting to your feet, thumping off to the bedroom ignoring their calls after you.
"nope!" you groaned loudly as arms wrapped around your torso before you could throw back the covers and slip into bed. "i'm tired." you whined, head leaning back onto mapi's shoulder, pouting up at your girlfriend who smiled in amusement.
"too bad, we have team bonding cariño and we promised we'd go, all of us." mapi tilted your head back a little further, hand gently gripping your chin as she placed a somewhat apologetic kiss to your lips, thumb running over your bottom lip as she pulled away.
"i'm not going. suddenly im sick!" you fake coughed pushing away from her, feeling another pair of eyes burn into you as you flopped backwards onto the bed, covering your face with your hands.
"you are going. get up and changed!" you peeked through your fingers to see ingrid staring firmly down at you, mapi whisting knowingly and ducking out of the room not wanting to get involved.
"no." you replied just as firmly, face still buried in your hands. "you are twenty four stop acting like a child. get up, now." her tone shifted into one you knew all too well, and looking up the fire which simmered just behind her eyes you knew you had about two minutes to do as she asked or you'd pay for it later.
"can i nap for a half hour baby, please?" you switched approach, hands moving to fall at your sides as you looked up pleadingly, her features softening a little but her arms remained crossed.
"no kjære , we need to be there in an hour and it's a twenty minute drive."
at her words you groaned even louder than before, hauling your body up and storming off to the bathroom, making a point to slam the door after you. "pain in the ass every day." ingrid mumbled under her breath with a roll of her eyes.
"no amor you asked for that, you know how she gets when she's tired." mapi held her hands up in defense at the withering look shot at her, backing out of the room again mumbling under her breath in spanish, all too used to mediating between the two of you knowing just how stubborn you could both be when in disagreement over something.
"come on niña bonita, smile. stop being grumpy!" you shifted at mapi's words, the slightly taller girl hugging you from behind and kissing your cheek a few times.
"we'll stay for a few hours and then you can go home and sleep, okay?" ingrid spoke softly, running a hand through your hair as you sighed tiredly but nodded none the less as mapi pressed the buzzer. within seconds the door was opening and you winced at the sudden change of volume, most of the girls seemingly already having arrived.
"ay chica why do you look so down hm?" alexia smiled, bringing you into a hug as she closed the door, the older girl like a sister to you as you sighed and grumbled about being tired.
"you sleep more than a newborn amiga, how are you always so tired?" her body vibrated with laughed as she kissed your cheek teasingly and let you go. "she does not sleep, like a vampire!" patri teased pulling a face at you as pina joined in and you rolled your eyes pushing past them, ignoring their offended calls after you that you'd blanked their hug.
you made a beeline to collapse next to lucy, head immediately falling to your national teammates shoulder. "oh did the little baby not get its nap?" she cooed harshly pinching your cheeks, having known you for years she immediately recognized the signs of exhaustion present in your features.
"no!" you huffed, pushing her hands off as she grinned. "tough luck kid, hard life being an adult." she sighed, patting your cheek and moving so her arm stretched over the back of you and you could settle a little more into her side as mapi took the vacant seat next to you.
normally if you were curled into anyone elses sides both her and ingrid would be green with envy, but lucy having had a heavy hand in the three of you even getting together in the first place they knew she was just as fiercely protective of you as they were.
you felt your girlfriends tattooed hand rest on your leg, fingers tracing shapes absentmindedly on your thigh as she engaged in conversation with the team.
you remained quiet as an hour dragged by and alexia tried her best to organise a food delivery, struggling heavily to decipher orders as no one seemed to be able to answer her without speaking over the top of someone else.
you jolted up awake as alexia snapped, captain mode slipping in effortlessly as she shouted a loud and stern string of catalan, everyone pausing before quietly relaying their preferences one by one.
food ordered everyones focus switched to games, an assortment of different board and card games from all different nations littering the floor. you opted out of playing, shooting poor esmee a murderous look as she attempted to drag you to your feet to be her partner.
"england why are you so moody today?" you looked up to meet oshoala's amused grin as mapi stood from beside her to help alexia get the food delivery from downstairs, the warmth of her hand on your leg instantly missed.
"baby didn't get its nap!" you grunted as two bodies landed on top of you, patri wrangling you into a headlock as claudia sat on your chest, both girls poking and jabbing at you.
something not uncommon for the three of you, known to rough house around quite often given your close ages but today you were not in the mood. you swore and cursed at them in spanish, a few of the older girls in the room shooting you disapproving looks for your language as the games continued.
"i would leave her be unless you want to lose a finger patri, she is a biter." mapi warned with a suggestive grin, returning as most of the girls hurried to their feet at the promise of food. claudia gagged at the insinuation and punched you halfheartedly in the stomach, scurrying away as patri was quick to follow before you could retaliate.
"i want to go home." you huffed, sitting up and running a hand through your tousled hair, fixing your clothes with a glare over the spaniards shoulder at the culprits who were too busy stuffing their faces to care.
"well we aren't." mapi chuckled, hands on your knees as she leant down and moved in closer. "if you're a good girl bebita i promise to reward you when we do get home, in any way you want." the older girl murmured in your ear, teeth gently tugging on your earlobe leaving your cheeks flushed red.
"any way?" you clarified as the defender nodded with a smile. "but only if you behave and lighten up a little, we are here to bond with the team." your girlfriend warned as you nodded.
"otherwise i will just let ingrid have her way with you for the snappy comments earlier, and we both know she does not forget hermosa." mapi smiled knowingly as you sighed, your girlfriend leaning in and pecking your lips a few times until they curled into a smile.
speaking of, ingrid took lucys seat beside you, placing a plate of food in your lap as mapi disappeared to get her own, the rest of the girls settling themselves around the living room as chatter and laughter filled the air.
the taller girl smiled in surprise as you thanked her in norweigen, leaning up to kiss her softly before starting to eat. "don't need to be hand fed do we grumpy?" keira teased, gesturing for your girlfriend to feed you as you flipped her off, ingrid knocking your hand down as your english team mate grinned and took a seat on the floor beside aitana.
mapi settling in on your other side with her own food you tried to make more of an effort, not contributing much to conversation but actively listening. you grinned as you stole some of your girlfriends food, mapi flicking your ear affectionately before kissing your cheek, happy to see you were a little more engaged.
food finished and games back in commencement you found yourself still wedged between your girlfriends, your legs draped over mapi's lap as ingrid held you from behind, chin resting atop your head.
slowly as the night grew later the girls began to drop off, and as the chatter and laughter died down your exhaustion was quick to resurface, blinking drowsily as you tried to stay awake.
but eventually you could fight no more and sleep won, your body suddenly becoming a lot more heavy which didn't go unnoticed by your girlfriends. the last of your team mates leaving alexia returned to the living room to see ingrid hoist your dead asleep form into her lap properly, scoffing with an amused shake of her head.
alexia's girlfriend olga due home from work soon and you seemingly passed out cold your girlfriends agreed to stay and watch a movie, grateful both for your lack of complaining and that you were finally getting some much needed rest.
"you know we are going to get home and she will be wide awake again now, yes?" mapi sighed with a smile, moving your hair out of your face and leaning down to press a tender kiss to your forehead. "i'm counting on that." ingrid smiled though a little less sweetly as mapi caught on, knowing smirk curling into her lips as alexia shot to her feet hearing a knock at the door.
"well, i did promise her a reward." "you're too soft with her." "i am not, you are just too bossy." "neither of you seem to mind that." "you do not give us a choice amor." "is that so? well maybe i need to remind both of you-"
"too loud." you mumbled up tiredly, hands coming to rest over their mouths still half asleep, mapi pressing a kiss to your palm before they dropped limply back to your sides.
"well eskling, guess we'll see who is right when we get home then."
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VI. "Trust Me, Doll..."
"Trust" Series Masterlist
John "Bucky" Egan x WAC!Female Reader
War is hell and every time it seems you and Bucky adapt to your new normal, the game is changed yet again. When at last Victory in Europe is achieved, the pair of you can finally focus on forging the way ahead.
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Warnings: Angst, Language, Grief, Mentions of Death, Imprisonment, Pregnancy, Childbirth in Retrospect, Child Rearing, Motherhood, Era-Typical Sexism and Marital Expectations, Inevitable Historical and Military Inaccuracies, Mature/Explicit Themes [Unprotected Vaginal Sex, Sex While Trying Not to Be Overhead] - 18+ ONLY.
Author’s Note(s): This is it! Oh wow, we made it, kids! Thank you to each and every one of you for your incredible engagement with this series it has truly been an inspiration! I love all of you and have more Bucky thoughts brewing!!!
As always, letters/telegrams have image descriptions that can be accessed by clicking the 'ALT' button. Special thanks to Marina @precious-little-scoundrel for helping me untangle numerous plot points in this series. I could not have done this without you, darling! This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.
Word Count: 7444
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Your sudden return home in mid-February had been decidedly awkward. Without time to send a letter of warning, you had spent a lot of coins on a phone call in a telephone booth at the hospital in New Jersey while you awaited the arrival of a WAC commanding officer to process your discharge.
To say your mother had been surprised to hear your voice over the line was an understatement. Mercifully, your father had already left for work that day and you had only had to break the news to her. Given the frosty welcome you had received from him by the time you managed to reach the steps of your childhood home, you hated to think what his reaction would have been if you had informed him that his unwed daughter was kicked out of the Women’s Army Corps for being pregnant without the softening interference of your mother.
It was truly disorienting to be back somewhere so very familiar when you were so utterly different. The war had left its marks here too, though. A gold star banner hung proudly in the front window, in honor of your brother, and your mother’s garden out back had mostly been turned over to the growing of vegetables, with a huge stockpile of jarred preserves now overflowing the pantry. But the two bedrooms at the top of the stairs belonging to you and your brother, separated by a small hallway that was really no more than a glorified landing, were exactly as you had left them in 1942. As if they were frozen in time. Dusted and cared for, but ready and waiting for you to pick up your old lives.
Only your brother was never coming home, and you had returned home but entirely changed. After the relentless pace you had maintained since enlisting, the thought of remaining at home in idle leisure was too off-putting to even contemplate. You allowed yourself a few days of adjusting to the violent change in time – at least when you had traveled to England you had been afford several days at sea to transition. Flight across the Atlantic had been utterly jarring, and it had taken great discipline to turn your nighttime back into day.
But once you had re-acclimated to the North American clock, you had promptly ventured out to find yourself gainful employment at a nearby grocery store. The owner, Nick, was a friend of the family. A kind man who did not seem interested in asking too many questions about why you were back early, was simply eager for the help around his store. It was most definitely not as mentally taxing as the work you had previously undertaken as a WAC, but it was money, and that was sorely needed as babies were expensive.
Your mother seemed fretful about you working in your ‘delicate condition,’ but the demands of the position paled in comparison to the one you had just left, and you rarely worked more than six hours a day. There was still plenty of time to sit with her, improving your knitting skills as you started on a baby blanket. Your mother was duly impressed you had picked up such a feminine skill abroad and seemed more than happy to pass along helpful hints.
In all truth she did appear to be struggling, dwelling frequently on memories and nostalgia for happier times. It was difficult to say how your father was coping in the wake of your brother’s passing. Any hours when he was not at work, he was spending behind the closed door of your dead sibling’s room, all manner of noises and the odd curse word seeping through the cracks, but neither you nor your mother were quite certain what he was up to.
You had sent a letter to Bucky immediately upon your arrival, as promised, still not divulging the full extent of the situation, but it had been stocked with reassurances and re-direction. It appeared he had not yet received it based on his letter that reached you in mid-April.
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Damn that man, but you did love him so. Baby animals – had he guessed the true nature of your discharge then? Gnawing ruthlessly on your lower lip, you found yourself pacing around your room, one hand rubbing at your lower back, sore from standing all day with the growing weight of your swollen abdomen.
‘Or is he simply fishing for more information, unconvinced?’ You wondered to yourself, sighing heavily.
He was simply too intelligent for his own good. Another man would simply have taken your words at face value and left it at that. But there was a reason you had not fallen in love with another man. Had not given yourself to another man.
With another deep sigh, you dug out your writing supplies and drafted a reply that acknowledged his statements but neither confirmed nor denied them. There was no desire on your part to entrap or obligate him into anything. That was the last thing you wanted – to pin a man who so cherished his freedom down against his will. Particularly after enduring his current stay in a prison camp.
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As the weather grew ever warmer, it became increasingly difficult to conceal your predicament – no matter how baggy or oversized your dresses were. Your engagement ring only went so far in polite society to protect you from judgemental stares and by the end of April you were forced to quit your job and confine yourself almost entirely to the house. May seemed to drag on, though you certainly managed to knit a wide variety of nearly perfect baby clothes for different stages.
Perhaps the brightest spot came one evening when your father emerged from the room opposite yours and left the door open for the first time since you came home, revealing not the preserved bedroom of your brother, but a fully prepared nursery, complete with an assembled crib, rocking chair, dresser, and change table. As you stood in your doorway in shock, eyes brimming with tears, he shoved his hands into his pockets and gruffly muttered, “baby needs somewhere to sleep after all,” before trudging down the stairs to the bedroom he shared with your mother.
June burst onto the scene with the Allied invasion of France and the good news only continued with the signing of the GI Bill on the 22nd. Your years of service and honorable discharge earned you, and your very active and rapidly growing baby, subsidized medical care. It could not have been timelier as appointments became more and more frequent, your due date looming at the end of July.
Much like her father, Clara Mae had a mind of her own when it came to her time of arrival. She was born in the middle of the night on July 22nd at the local veteran’s hospital – one of the first GI Bill babies, the nurses informed you.
The choice of her name had been rather easy, derived from Bucky’s middle name - Clarence. While you could not give her his family name, or even list him as her father on the birth certificate without his signature, you could at least give her this for now. He had already given her his mischievous eyes and unmistakable ears. Time would tell what other of his features she would share. If the grey-blue of her eyes would settle in the color of the stormy sea like his. If the slight dusting of fuzz of her head would grow into luscious, dark curls.
Sitting there in sore, stunned exhaustion as they carted her off to the nursery, you looked up as your mother sidled over, the broad grin of a recent grandparenthood still splitting her face.
“We have to write Major Egan right away and let him know. Oh he’ll be so thrilled, a sweet little girl to come home to now!”
The force with which your face crumpled, physically unable to bear to weight of all your falsehoods and desperate attempts at inner strength one moment longer, sent your tears scattering down the front of your hospital gown. Your mother snapped her mouth shut, completely taken aback by the abrupt shift in your mood, before she collected a wad of scratchy hospital tissues and tenderly wiped at your eyes.
“There now, I know. It’s been a tremendous effort, and things are very difficult.” She soothed and cradled your head to her breast, rubbing your back softly.
Despite becoming a mother yourself not a full hour ago, it seemed you were still very much in need of one yourself.
“What if he doesn’t want me, mama?” You gulped and looked up to her pathetically as you finally gave voice to perhaps the greatest fear that had been stalking you since the realization that you were pregnant had come crashing down upon you. “We’re not even…it’s not even real…” Your eyes dropped to the false engagement ring that mockingly glinted up at you from your left hand.
She sighed deeply before her hands grasped your face and forced your gaze to meet hers. “Well, pumpkin, I’d say that a man who writes to you despite the difficulties is one of the good ones. And usually it’s the good ones that do the right things.”
You frowned and shook your head slightly, as much as her tight grip would allow. “But I don’t want him to do the right thing. I want him to marry me because he wants to…”
There was another maternal sigh before you were gathered close in her arms once more. “Let’s hope for the best then. I’ll get Felix from down the street to bring his camera. We’ll send a photo of sweet Clara Mae and see if she can’t work her magic on him.”
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The Allied invasion of Western Europe had felt like a gift from above, flooding Bucky’s life with a new sense of purpose, and shattering the grim monotony that had calcified everything around him. The gnawing hunger, the biting cold, the evasiveness in your letters, the constant worry and uncertainty he felt for both himself and you. There was surely only one explanation, at least only one rational, sane explanation for your early discharge. But he’d had far too much time on his hands to postulate and theorize all manner of possibilities and their catastrophic outcomes.
June 6 had brought an abrupt and decisive end to that, a sharp divide to their life in camp, and a need for preparations now that the Commonwealth forces were closing in from one side and the Russians from the other. It was early September when he received your life changing letter, two small photos tucked securely between your folded, scented pages. One of you, looking so very beautiful it made his heart ache fondly. And the second of a very tiny infant with remarkably familiar ears.
He huffed fondly and turned back to the letter to read it properly as you finally confirmed what he had long suspected.
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Shaking the envelope once more produced a square of paper with the stamp of his daughter’s – his daughter’s – footprints on it.
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Cradling it in one palm, he could not help but gawk at the small scale of her. She must be truly tiny…only 20 inches.
“Your girl finally explain herself?” Buck leaned over his shoulder, and he nodded, holding up Clara’s photo.
His friend barely contained a snort and Bucky scoffed in return. “I know – poor girl’s got my damn Dumbo ears. Couldn’t even deny she’s mine if I wanted to.”
“She’s beautiful anyway, despite your influence.” Buck smirked and handed the photo back carefully. “Congratulations. What’s her name?”
“Clara Mae.” An involuntary grin of pleasure overtook him as he said it, quite enjoying the way it sounded. You had picked well.
“Your girl did an excellent job. Be sure you tell her so.”
“You know I will.” He replied with a firm nod.
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The twelve weeks it took to hear from Bucky were both a blur and an agony. Clara did her utmost to keep the household, and you in particular, thoroughly occupied. You were somewhat relieved that your parents were sleeping on a different floor than her, that it gave you a chance to dart across the hall and mollify her discordant wails with a fresh diaper or a feeding. But on those nights when even you could not seem to sort out what ailed her, your father stepped in and patiently walked her up and down the length of the porch until she melted into the crook of his arm.
Truly, for such a small being, she had the entirety of her grandfather wrapped around her littlest finger. Clara was the first he greeted upon returning home from work and the last he kissed goodnight. None of this would have been possible without his willing arms, nor your mother’s endless wisdom when it came to washing bottles and diapers and Clara’s vast wardrobe of tiny clothing. But in the quiet moments, when she was busily suckling in your arms or just as you were falling asleep, your thoughts would always fly across the Atlantic to barbwire fences and Bucky.
You hoped your letter reached had him. You hoped it had all of its contents still, that none of them had been lost while being reviewed by the censors and whomever else pried into your mail. His reaction? Well you could not even dare to hope what that might be. It would cause your entire body to tense almost painfully and prevent your lungs from filling with air.
Every day you did your best not to look too eagerly as the postman delivered the mail, flipping through the envelopes calmly, hiding your disappointment when his reply was not there. Your agony came to an end, at last, in mid-October. Hearing your soft gasp, your mother offered to take Clara on her morning walk – it was generous to be sure, but you were also more than aware that she enjoyed the attention warranted by pushing the gorgeous girl through the neighborhood in her pram.
Settling down at the kitchen table once they had left, you sliced open the envelope anxiously.
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Tears of relief were tracking down your cheeks by the time you reached the end of his letter, making it difficult to read his words clearly. He had replied. He was not angry, nor dismissive. He called himself Clara’s father. And there was an oblique, very Bucky-like proposal in there. Your watery laugh echoed in the empty kitchen before you sniffled in a very unladylike way. God, you missed him so very much. By the time your mother and Clara returned, your tears of relief had been replaced by sobs of longing that had her tiptoeing through the house, deeply concerned his letter had been one of rejection.
Looking up at her apprehensive face as she peered through the doorway, you smiled through your pain and nodded. “It’s good news.”
“Oh, well…good.” She gave you a somewhat bewildered smile and found a handkerchief for you to once more clean yourself up before you gathered Clara close.
“Your daddy says he loves you, peanut. What do you think of that?”
Clara’s face stretched into one of her toothless grins that came just as easy as Bucky’s did, and you fought the urge to cry again. “Yeah…me too.”
Your reply to Bucky’s letter was accompanied by a holiday card fingerpainted by Clara, now that you were confident in the mailing time of roughly six-weeks, as well as another set of dry goods for him to share with his friends. Time continued to march on and in an effort to better document Clara’s rapid growth, you purchased a user-friendly camera, having Felix give you some lessons.
Mid-January, Clara received a gift from her father – a stunning ink drawing of him done by one of his roommates apparently. It had been over a year since you had looked upon his face and the breathtaking detail captured by the man who drew it, A. Jefferson based on the signature, inflicted an intense barrage of memories. You promptly went to a five-and-dime store to purchase a frame for it, setting it on the dresser in Clara’s room next to a model of a B17. You made a point of showing it to her every day, telling her stories about her daddy – only the appropriate ones of course, wanting her to know him.
That it was also self-soothing was simply a bonus.
That letter was the last one you received from him. As Clara’s features sharpened into Bucky’s, and his dark curls framed her face, it was his gaze staring up at you from your arms as the weeks ticked by with no word. When the abnormally harsh winter yielded to spring once more, there was still no reply to your January letter. The war was all but won, the Germans quite literally surrounded, the Russians in Germany and yet there was nothing.
It was mid-April when the dreaded Western Union vehicle pulled up in front of the house, your heart leaping into your throat.
‘Please let him be alright.’
Your mother had been in the kitchen, working on lunch, but silently appeared at your elbow, ghosts of her own heartbreak etching her features.
“Deep breaths. Anybody can send a telegram, not just the War Department.” She murmured and knelt down beside Clara on the rug to play with her as you forced your leaden feet to move towards the door.
Accepting the yellow envelope from the infuriatingly neutral-faced boy, you confirmed that it was indeed addressed to you before impatiently tearing into it.
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Exhaling shakily you smiled in relief. Major Cleven must have escaped. That he would have spent the money to send a telegram to update you on Bucky, and to share a message from the man himself, was quite moving. You could not help the chuckle that escaped you, however, at the fact that this was twice now that Cleven had terrified you in the process of trying to share good news.
“All is well?” Your mother asked softly from the living room, and you turned quickly with a smile.
“Yes, he’s ok, his friend somehow made it back to England and wanted me to know he’s doing alright.”
The smile she gave you in return contained no small amount of relief.
The Russians were in Berlin by the next time Western Union made its second delivery at the beginning of May.
‘Please, when we are so very close to victory, please.’
Even less patient with this envelope than the last, you felt a swell of elation at just the first word.
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And he meant it. It was not entirely as soon as either of you would have liked, given that Victory in Europe happened not a week after that telegram, on May 8, 1945, but Bucky certainly did come to you and Clara as soon as it was possible.
It was a hot afternoon in early July, the wind having abandoned everyone when the sun rose that morning. Clara was in a bit of a mood courtesy of the heat and her desire to move about the house independently. Certainly, she had been crawling for months, terrorizing everything and everyone in her path, but as of late she had been pulling herself to her feet and trying desperately to take those first few wobbly steps towards upright freedom. She certainly could manage it while gripping tightly to your fingers for balance, but today her chubby cheeks and granite eyes were screwed tight in consternation as she swatted your hands away to go it alone.
“Alright peanut, off you go then.” You smiled encouragingly, sitting back on your heels as beads of sweat gathered at the nape of your neck.
Letting go of the edge of the coffee table, she wavered and wobbled, overcorrecting her round little infant body before landing heavily onto her bottom with a squawk of frustration.
“So close, so–”
The rapping of knuckles against the wooden frame of the screen door cut off your statement and you scooped her up, perching her against your right hip as you rose to your feet.
“Let’s go see if that’s the postman with Grandma’s package, shall we?” You smiled and tickled her soft tummy with your free hand, earning a giggle accompanied by her gap-toothed grin as you headed over to the front door.
The man standing there in uniform was most certainly not the postman, however.
“Bucky…” You whispered in shock as he stood before you, in the flesh, after nearly two years of constant worry and concern.
All that separated you now was a flimsy screen door, which you lurched forward to shove open. His eyes were wide as he stared at the pair of you, Clara peering at him curiously. The movement of your left hand caught his eye and his brow furrowed as his gaze landed on the ring you had been hiding behind since April of last year, making you swallow painfully.
“It’s not real.” You murmured quickly, not wanting him to get the wrong impression, and stepped back to invite him inside.
The sound of his bag hitting the floor was all the warning you had before he was pulling you tightly against him, burying his face into your hair. Pressing your face against him in return, you clung to the back of his uniform jacket, wondering if he had always smelled this good or if he had bought new cologne since returning stateside. A sudden strangled sound came from his throat, and you straightened quickly to see Clara had a ruthless grip on his tie and a wicked grin on her face.
“Ta.” You said firmly, holding out your hand and she surrendered her stranglehold on the piece of fabric which you carefully tucked back into his jacket.
Bucky smirked down at her slightly, but his eyes were filled with barely concealed wonder. Clara, for her part, did not seem the least bit fazed by him whatsoever. Her chubby little fingers moved to trace the shiny buttons of his jacket before stretching up to brush along the coarse hair on his upper lip.
“You like my mustache, Miss Clara?” He grinned and pretended to devour her finger as it strayed too close to his mouth, sending his daughter into a fit of giggles and making your cheeks ache from smiling so wide.
An involuntary yawn suddenly overtook her, and you glanced at your watch, nodding as the time confirmed your suspicions. “It’s nap time, I’ll just take her upstairs.”
“Can I come?” He asked softly, making no move to release his hold on you and you nodded quickly, pressing your lips to his cheek softly before leading him to the stairwell at the back of the house.
“This place looks exactly how you described it…” He murmured softly, threading his fingers through yours as he followed.
Looking back to him, startled, you swallowed down the swell of emotion that had been threatening since you had first laid eyes on him. “I told you about it once, in that…hotel room in London…almost two years ago.”
“And I’ve imagined it almost every day since.” He assured you easily as you climbed the stairs, making you shake your head in awe.
Glancing through the open door into your room curiously for a moment, he followed you into Clara’s nursery, grinning softly as his eyes landed on the drawing he had sent.
“You gave it to her.”
Setting Clara into her crib, you turned back to him. “We talk about you every day.”
Bucky’s eyes met yours and he smiled gratefully before reaching out for your left hand, his thumb stroking along the band of the ring there.
“You know, this isn’t very believable, doll.” He muttered and you felt yourself tense as you eyed him, suddenly nervous in his presence after all those months apart. You had been separated longer than you had even known one another. “I’d have bought you a much bigger rock.” His lips curled into a smirk.
Laughter, something that felt so foreign to you after its long absence, bubbled up from your chest while tears simultaneously flooded your eyes. His hands cradled your face as his lips met yours at last, the kiss distinctly salty despite the best efforts of his thumbs to swipe your tears away. Laying your hands atop his, it began to sink in that he was really home, he had truly made it back to you. And Clara. There was no more need for constant fretting and pleading mantras. He was here.
“In fact I did.” His statement, a continuation of his discussion about your fake engagement ring, felt disorienting as it interrupted your inner musings, and you watched in confusion as he sunk to one knee right there in Clara’s bedroom, slipping the piece of costume jewellery from your ring finger before tucking it one of his pockets.
It was not until he produced a much shinier ring, with a larger and very real diamond, that you registered just what was happening. He addressed you properly, by your full name, before asking the question.
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes. Yes of course I will.” You nodded vigorously, watching him clumsily slide the heavier ring onto your finger before his mouth was on yours once more, demanding and possessive.
Pressing against him, you would have completely forgotten yourself if not for the sound of your mother calling your name from the bottom of the stairs, tone laced with confusion and worry – surely from finding the front door open and a piece of strange luggage in the front hall. Bucky pulled his lips back and pressed his forehead to yours, hot puffs of his breath caressing your face.
“Parents’ house…”
You let out a small laugh of chagrin. “Parents’ house.” You confirmed before pulling back and guiding him out, leaving the door slightly cracked so you would hear when Clara awoke.
Miraculously she had slept through the entire exchange, a superpower she had surely inherited from her father. Descending the stairs, introductions were made, and you did not miss the way you mother’s eyes lit up as she took in the new ring on your finger. Your father was slightly more difficult to win over, still smarting from the perceived mistreatment of his little girl. You were more than a little convinced he might be taking Bucky to the toolshed to shoot him when he asked for the man to accompany him out there for a chat after dinner.
Your aggressive scrubbing of the dishes in the sink as you watched anxiously out the window amused your mother to no end.
“He’s just ensuring Major Egan has your best interests in mind.”
“He’s not gonna kill him, is he, mama?” You worried your lip and she laughed, wiping Clara’s sticky fingers clean after her joyful decimation of a bowl of sliced strawberries.
“He will do no such thing.”
By some miracle, the pair of them immerged unscathed twenty minutes later, shaking hands and sharing a laugh. You rediscovered the ability to exhale and prepared Clara for her evening walk, which Bucky insisted on joining. Even though you assured him you had a perfectly good pram, gestured to where it sat on the front porch, he insisted on carrying Clara on his hip, much to her delight.
Not only was the vantage point much better, but she had unfettered access to all the intriguing bits of his uniform to occupy herself with as the pair of you followed the usual route around the neighborhood. While no one had taken it upon themselves to be overtly rude to you, something about seeing all six foot two inches of Major John Egan carrying his carbon-copy daughter with you on his other arm seemed to go a long way to repairing your somewhat tarnished reputation around town.
People who had politely nodded or offered no more than tight-lipped smiles were now openly waving and calling greetings as you passed.
“Sure are popular around here, doll.”
“I assure you, it’s the pair of you.” You smirked at him and Clara who was busily tugging at the flap of his breast pocket. “Everything alright after your visit to the toolshed?” You asked now that you were far enough away from the house that your father would not hear.
He nodded easily. “Your father and I are of like minds. You and I are going to the registrar’s office tomorrow to get a marriage licence and then we’ll get this little one’s birth certificate sorted as well.”
“He wasn’t…too harsh on you?” You asked with more than a little trepidation.
Bucky looked to you softly. “No more than I deserved.”
“You deserved no harshness, we both know full well how this happened…”
“I sure didn’t stop you. Couldn’t have, even if I had been able to think straight.” He smirked and kissed your temple. “So we did it out of order, that’s fine. It’ll all be how it was meant to very soon.”
Sighing fondly you continued your progress until Clara was slumped against his shoulder, barely able to keep her eyes open. By the time you returned to the house, your mother had set up a small camp bed in the nursery for you and moved Bucky’s things to your room for the night – everyone agreed there was no way he could possibly be expected to sleep on the sofa. He was simply too long. Wishing one another good night in the hallway with a lingering kiss, you pressed your lips together as your mother cleared her throat expectantly from the landing below and slipped into the nursery for the night.
It was difficult to say how long you had been asleep when a faint noise, your ears now well trained to listen out for the smallest of disturbances, woke you. It was most definitely still dark when you raised your head, immediately looking to the crib to see Clara sleeping peacefully on her stomach, index and middle fingers of her right hand suckled soothingly by her full lips. Shifting your gaze in the dimly lit room, you jumped slightly to see Bucky leaning against the doorframe, clad in his boxers and undershirt, silently watching her sleep, expression pensive.
Sliding to your feet as gracefully as the low bed and your thin cotton nightgown would allow, you padded over to him quietly to whisper, “everything ok?”
“She’s just so small…” He replied in a hushed voice, gesturing with his hands, eyes still fixed on Clara’s sleeping form, and you smiled fondly.
Reaching out, you gently manipulated the distance between his palms to represent how small she had been as a newborn. “She was only that big a year ago.”
His eyes tore from the crib to study the small gap between his hands before lifting slightly to drink in how little you were wearing, how thin the material was to try and make sleeping in the summer months bearable. His eyes briefly flicked to yours, revealing the rapid dilation of his pupils before his mouth descended onto yours ravenously.
Sliding one arm around his waist, you pressed with the other against the centre of his chest to guide him back across the hall, closing the door to your bedroom behind you as you quickly surrendered and parted your lips for him. He grunted eagerly, pressing his fully hard length against you through the thin barrier of your clothes, making you gasp at the rapidity of his response.
“The damn sheets smell like you, I’ve been hard all night.” He groaned and you quickly smothered his mouth with yours, well aware just how loud he tended to get.
If you were lucky enough to get away with this, you were going to have to be as quiet as possible.
Rucking the hem of your nightgown up over your hips, he pivoted to deposit you onto the edge of the bed, settling between your thighs as you worked one another’s underwear off. Pressing skin to skin, his head fell back, and you quickly slid your palm over his mouth to smother his eager sighs, rocking your folds along the length of him as you gnawed on your lips and swallowed your own keens. Bucky’s eyes bored into yours hungrily as he mirrored your movements, almost daring you to keep quiet as he continued to moan against your hand.
Silence became impossible for you too as the blunt tip of his cock snagged on your entrance and he rocked his hips forward, slowly sinking into your warmth. Falling back onto the mattress, you slapped the hand that had previously been propping you upright over your own mouth to smother your eager groan as your eyelids fluttered in the struggle to remain open. Shifting forward once he had settled fully inside you, Bucky’s face hovered just above yours, eyes still pinning yours as he began the eager push and pull towards ecstasy.
Desperately trying to keep your hands in place over your mouth and his, your back arched at the long forgotten and very heightened sensation of being so very stretched by him, trembling with each brush of his pelvis against your sensitive bundle of nerves. His hands planted onto the mattress on either side of your head, fisting into the sheets as his hips snapped demandingly into yours, each sharp exhale from his nostrils cascading across your knuckles as you felt the tension building within you.
Sweat glistened on both of your skin, the efforts in the lingering heat of the night only making you both slick as you writhed beneath him, heart hammering inside your ribcage. And still his eyes would not leave yours. The one time you gave into the urge to clench them shut, he sent them flying open once more with a sharp nip to the meat of your palm and you quickly wrapped your legs around his hips, drawing him closer, deeper.
You could feel him clenching his jaw, grinding his teeth, desperately driving into you until your body shattered in release, nearly going limp with the force of it. Bucky nestled his face tighter to your palm as, with two more erratic thrusts, he followed suit with a harsh cry, thankfully still smothered. Slumping forward, utterly spent, you cradled him close a moment before shuffling and maneuvering to rest against the headboard with him properly nuzzled against your neck, and his legs mostly on the bed.
Stroking his hair lovingly, every so often scratching your nails along his scalp, you could not help the fond smile as his harsh breaths evened out and the weight of him grew heavier against you when sleep overtook him. Sighing softly, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to join him in rest.
The next time you opened them you were alone, tucked beneath the sheet, the soft light of dawn filling the room. The distinct sound of Clara’s giggles carried from across the hall, and you sat up, grabbing your summer housecoat and peered into the nursery to find the pair of them perched on the camp bed engaged in a very entertaining game of wooden blocks it seemed. Bucky had retrieved the model of the B17 from the dresser and was frequently swooping it down to destroy whatever Clara’s clumsy little hands built, much to her delight.
“Ah, Mommy’s up.” Bucky’s statement revealed that you had been caught and you smirked, stepping into the room to kneel on the carpet beside them. “Did we wake you?”
Shaking your head softly, you kissed Clara’s head and then Bucky’s cheek. “Did she wake you, though?”
He shrugged. “Probably my turn anyway.”
You smiled tenderly, laughing as Clara clutched at his arm to demonstrate that she had assembled a new construction in need of his attention. Watching fondly, you blinked slightly to see a new addition to the dog tags, crucifix, and medal that he normally wore. Amidst the collection was now the faux engagement ring you had sported for over a year. Reaching out, you traced your finger along it, raising an eyebrow in silent question as his eyes met yours.
“To remind me of that time I was overly reckless.” He murmured and you swallowed painfully, pressing your lips to his firmly.
Sliding his arm around your waist, he pulled you snuggly into his side, continuing to entertain Clara easily.
“We’ll get the licence today but, what kind of wedding would you like, doll?” He asked quietly.
“Just a date at the courthouse is fine.” You assured him with a nod.
“You don’t want a big wedding or anything? Honestly doll, anything you want and it’s yours.” He assured you softly.
You laughed watching your daughter gnaw on the corner of a wooden block. “Seems a bit hypocritical to put me a white gown don’t you think?” You smirked and shook your head when he looked ready to defend your honor. “I don’t need all those fancy things John, I just need you.”
When he finally came up for air, your lips more than a little swollen from his attentions, he huffed a laugh.
“Not sure what I’m going to do with the parachute I smuggled home now, though…”
“Well, Major Cleven’s getting married soon, isn’t he? I’m sure Marge would appreciate it. She seems lovely from the letters we’ve exchanged.”
He turned to you wide-eyed, struck silent, and you could not help but laugh. “Never underestimate the ingenuity of women, John.”
Bucky shook his head in awe. “Trust me, doll…I would never be so foolish as to underestimate you.”
-------------------------
"Trust" Series Masterlist
Tag list: @gretagerwigsmuse, @precious-little-scoundrel, @rubyfruitjungle, @storysimp, @mads-weasley, @xxanaduwrites, @bcon24, @fxxiva, @slowsweetlove, @hockeyboysarehot, @darylas, @carpediem1219, @blueberry-ovaries
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reasonsforhope · 8 months
Text
"When Ghana’s parliament voted to decriminalise suicide and attempted suicide in March, Prof Joseph Osafo felt a weight lift from his shoulders.
Osafo, head of psychology at the University of Ghana, had been engaged in a near 20-year battle to abolish the law – brought in by the British – which stated that anyone who attempts suicide should face imprisonment or a fine.
“It was a very good feeling. I felt like a certain burden had been removed. I was extremely elated,” he remembers. “Then the next morning, I realised we had a lot of work to do.”
Four countries decriminalised suicide in just the past year
Ghana is one of four countries to have decriminalised suicide in the past year – Malaysia, Guyana and Pakistan are the others. More could soon follow, which campaigners say is a sign of greater awareness and understanding of mental health. Kenya and Uganda have filed petitions to overturn laws and members of the UN group of Small Island Developing States have committed to decriminalise. Discussions are also being held in Nigeria and Bangladesh.
“There seems to be a domino effect taking place,” says Muhammad Ali Hasnain, a barrister from United for Global Mental Health, a group calling for decriminalisation. “As one country decriminalises suicide, others start to follow suit.”
“It is quite unusual,” adds Sarah Kline, the organisation’s chief executive. “It’s a huge sign of progress and an important step forward for the populations most at risk, as well as the countries as a whole.” ...
A large number of laws were introduced by the British during colonial rule. Suicide was decriminalised in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in the 1960s – it was never criminalised in Scotland...
The results of these punishments can be “devastating” and present “a huge barrier” to addressing the problem, says Natalie Drew, a technical officer with the mental health policy and service development team at the World Health Organization. Health experts and advocates argue that suicide should be treated as a public health issue rather than a crime.
Criminalising suicide denies people the right to access health services and discriminates against them because of something they’re experiencing, Drew adds. Research shows that in countries where suicide has been decriminalised, people can seek help for mental health and rates tend to then decline.
Next Steps
In September, the WHO is due to release a guide on decriminalising suicide for policymakers, with explanations of how countries have managed it...
“[Ghana’s decision] should have an impact on the work ongoing in other countries, especially in the Africa region,” says Osafo. Within the past couple of months, he has set up a mental health working group with representatives from about 20 African countries, and one of the biggest issues on the agenda is decriminalisation of suicide, he says. “Nigeria is active, Cameroon is active … Kenya has joined and is doing fantastic work. We have Uganda. People have been asking us how we did it.”
Since suicide was decriminalised in Malaysia last month, Anita Abu Bakar, founder and president of the Mental Illness Awareness and Support Association (Miasa), has already seen things change. Crisis response teams and helplines are expanding, and money from the mental health budget is being given to organisations who work in the community. “This is the shift we’re so happy to see,” she says. “It was such an archaic law.”
She adds: “I’m a person with lived experience. What does decriminalisation mean to people like me? We feel supported, we feel this conversation can go to a different level. Obviously decriminalisation is not the only way to prevent suicide, but it’s a big one. I’m happy for this progressive move – better late than never. I’m excited to see what happens next, not just for Malaysia but for the rest of us.”"
-via The Guardian, July 20, 2023
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wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 3 months
Note
Any enemies to lovers future AU Sterek fics? At first they annoy each other just as much as they used to, but ofc that changes. Thanks, ur awesome
Oh definitely.
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magical protection at the hands of a snarky spark by sychia_rin
(1? I 341 I General)
Stiles stormed his way through the room. The ward he literally just made felt broken.
He eyed the tall man standing on the balcony as he turned to face him, he quirked up an eyebrow looking as shocked as that grumpy face could get him. He must be some newbie guard.
"I just put that ward there shitface. Shoo," Stiles motioned for him to move. The guard stood in place, watching Stiles as he stomped closer.
....
Where an overworked Stiles works for the (royalish?) Hale family doing magical tasks. Vaguely Merlin inspired if you squint.
royal blue fits better with Derek by 08JustLizeth80
(1/1 I 3,129 I Mature)
Where Derek Hale is the prince of England and Stiles is the (extremely) ineloquent and mouthy first son of the United States.
Or
Where Stiles thinks royalty is such an archaic concept it shouldn’t even exist (which has nothing to do with his inadequate and totally not existing crush on the prince).
Knot Your Typical College Romance by stilesanderek (minxxx)
(1/1 I 51,546 I Explicit)
In which Stiles loves studying at Beacon Hills Supernatural University and even though he loves his group of friends, he just wishes that Derek wasn't included in it. Stiles hates the guy fiercely, and he knows it's completely mutual, and what he also knows it's completely mutual is the hate boner they both have going on for each other. What happens after they finally hookup after years of tension, though, isn't something Stiles ever signed up for.
“Shut the fuck up, Stilinski,” Derek hisses, their foreheads less than half a dozen of inches apart.
“Oh yeah, big guy?” Stiles says, stuffing his chest in defiance, licking his mouth once and then finally saying, “Make me.”
all you have is your fire by hansuckss
(7/? I 20,624 I Mature)
“Why wouldn’t I? I mean, if it’s a matter of saving someone’s life. You know,” Derek smirked. “There are lots of things I can do for an hour.”
Everyone knows they can count on Stiles Stilinski, the most composed paramedic at the fire station, and he takes pride in his work. At least until a new firefighter shows up. The newest firefighter-in-training, Derek Hale, is a former football player with a huge hero complex and limitless energy. And until fate brings them together, Stiles can put up with the man's presence. Sparks fly—not in a positive way. The fact that Derek is hotter than the fires he puts out and annoyingly charming doesn't help.
Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack
(9/9 I 26,096 I Mature)
"Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained.
Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time.
Five Times Detective Stilinski and Fire Captain Hale Had Sex In Public, and One Time They Did It In A Bed by bleep0bleep
(7/7 I 32,853 I Explicit)
"Did you say--" Stiles starts.
"What?" Derek growls.
"We're not a couple!" they both retort in unison.
"We're not together," Stiles insists.
Lydia coughs pointedly. "An incident report filed by 87th Precinct Captain Erica Reyes. March twenty-fifth, eight p.m. Came back to the precinct to grab my coat, only to hear Stilinski banging his new boyfriend in the holding cell."
Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)
(1/1 I 68,366 I Teen)
“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.
And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”
The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.
“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.
Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”
Like it or Not by Halevetica
(56/56 I 80,902 I Not Rated)
Stiles works as the editorial assistant at Vogue. He loves everything about his job except for his boss, Derek Hale. Derek Hale is the worst and Stiles hates him. But when Derek drags him to the yearly awards dinner within the company, he is forced to play boyfriend for the night to make Derek's ex jealous. Things couldn't get much worse...or so Stiles thought.
(Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)
(9/9 I 96,199 I Mature)
First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.
Enemy Lines by qhuinn (tekla)
(17/17 I 149,179 I Explicit)
This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.
Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.
Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.
The Final Pack by Kedreeva
(33/33 I 428,148 I Mature)
Humankind is fighting its way back from near extinction against the supernatural beings that fed upon the remaining humans in the aftermath of the 2012 apocalypse. On the front lines, Stiles' best friend gets bitten by a werewolf and Stiles must strike a bargain with wolves in order to save him.
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outsideratheart · 9 months
Text
Meet Me At Henman Hill (Leah Williamson x reader)
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A/N: I know I late posting this but hey better late than never right? I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you like it too.
Leah was scrolling through her phone as she worked through her second rehab appointment of the day. Her attention was fully on the screen in front of her as the physio applied pressure to her slowly but surely healing ACL when she was handed an envelope. She tossed it aside assuming that it was something from the club but then she saw the Wimbledon stamp in the top left corner.  
Miss Williamson,
You have been invited to sit in the royal box at this years ladies final as a guest of Y/N Y/L/N. Please see inside four tickets and details of what you can expect from the day. 
We look forward to seeing you at Wimbledon. 
She couldn’t believe you kept your word. After winning the euros Leah literally bumped into you in the hallways at Wembley. You told her congratulations and said seen as though she and England  won you would invite her to see you win Wimbledon next year. That day she understood what the movies talked about when they say you feel a spark when you meet someone special. It was a feeling that Leah yearned to feel again. Little did she know you felt the same thing.
Leah truly did think you were joking and given that you haven’t seen or spoken to each other since then she certainly didn’t expect to be given tickets never mind be in the royal box. 
“What’s this?” Beth snatched the envelope out of Leah’s hand and then proceeded to read to note out loud “so who are you taking?”
“Beth would you like to come with me?” Leah asked even though the answer is obvious. 
“Me? Oh I’ll have to check my— yeah I’m free” Beth jokingly checks her phone’s calendar.
“Viv?” Leah asks the Dutch forward.
“I would love too”
Leah then texts Kim to see if she would like to the join the three of them to which she happily accepts.
A few days later on Saturday 15th July, Leah along with her team mates find themselves walking the grounds of Wimbledon. She could feel the history that the grounds held. Knowing this was the final filled her with excitement but she was going to see you play live which makes the feeling double. She had watched every match you had played in the last 2 weeks.
When she took her seat in the royal box she couldn’t help but feel a little bit out of place. Even after the year she has had she still feels like that little girl from Milton Keynes. The front row sat the Princess of Wales and Princess Charlotte with Billie Jean King sitting behind them. She knew from your interviews how much of an inspiration the Tennis legend was.
The crowd erupted when you enter the court along side Iga Swiatek. The latter currently held the number one spot with you number two. Not only was the championship on the line but the world number one ranking was too. She could have sworn that you looked up at her as you warm up but she tosses the thought aside and tells herself that you were looking at your idol.
The first set couldn’t have gone worse for you as you lose the set 6-1. It seemed nothing you did was working and you couldn’t help but feel like you were failing everyone in the area. You had your team, you idol and then there was Leah, the woman you had a huge crush on, in the crowd. What she must be thinking as you throw the game away.
You don’t let it get to you though as you come out fighting at the beginning of the second set. You remember why you are in the final in the first place; to win. You give it everything you have and it pays off because you win the set 6-3. 
The final would go to a deciding set, one which you would go onto win but that didn’t mean Leah wasn’t stressed out from the first serve to the final point. She spent the entire set leant forwards, elbows resting on her knees and biting her finger nails. Her eyes well up with tears as she watches you fall to your knees when you score the match winning point. 
You were in a state of shock for a least a minute. You had won Wimbledon. It had been a dream since you first watched the tournament as a child and now you had done it. The team that had been by your side on this journey were the first people you wanted to celebrate with so you run up to them as soon as you could. Then once back on the court you looked up at Billie and bowed your head to her and that is when you see the arsenal girls but Leah stood out to you. You send her a quick wink before being whisked away to collect the Venus Rosewater Dish and take photos with whoever you were told to.
Leah was just about to leave the box when a Wimbledon official made their way over to her.
“Are you Miss Williamson?” 
“I am” Leah shares a look with her friends before answering.
“You have been invited to celebrate Y/N Y/L/N’s win at The Polo Bar here at Wimbledon” 
The official goes on to explain where they will find the bar and explain that they can get food and complimentary drinks there.
“Let me get this straight. First she invites you to watch her play and now she wants you to celebrate the greatest moment of her career with her” Kim says.
“We. She invited all of us” Leah tried to play off the invite. She knows the tickets were addressed to her and then the official came to her but she didn’t want to make a big deal out of this. Perhaps you were just being nice.
The four of them found their way to The Polo Bar which they learned was Ralph Lauren’s Polo Bar.  Leah started to believe Kim’s insinuation as there wasn’t many strangers in the bar. There were former and current tennis players, a few celebrities who Leah knew were your friends and then they were some people she didn’t recognise but she put them under the sponsors category.
It is almost two and a half hours after the match ended that you walk through the doors. You had swapped your Nike tennis dress for a pair of trousers, a t-shirt, cardigan and a pair of air force ones that look fresh out of the box, these were all white of course.
“Thank you so much for coming” You approach their table as soon as possible “I hope you enjoyed the match”
“Are you kidding me” Beth is quick to answer “That was incredible. I wasn’t sure if you’d win after losing the first set but you didn’t give up. It was incredible” the blonde repeats herself to make sure you heard her.
“It was tough but in this sport you can never give up especially not that early on in the game. Did you have a good time?” You look down to Leah who was sitting directly in front of where you were standing.
You could have got lost in her eyes.
“I was on the edge of my seat”
“I saw”
That was the confirmation Leah needed. You had indeed been looking at her from the other side of the court. Much to your disliking you were called away by your manager but you knew this would happen if you were to become the first British woman to win Wimbledon in the open area. It seemed that everyone wanted to talk to you.
Still as you shake hands with men in suits and woman who you can tell don’t really care for the interaction, you keep an eye of the English captain. She was having a good time with her friends which is what you wanted yet you cannot help but be jealous because you wanted to spend time with her.
Your friends knew that you had a crush on the blonde so they help you evade the introductions to people who you know you have no interest in keeping in touch with. 
Leah, unbeknownst to you, scans the room from time to time in search of you. So imagine her disappointment when you cannot be seen. Part of her knew thought this would happen. You wouldn’t want to celebrate with a room full of strangers, herself included. You were just being nice when you invited her here.
“Are you Leah?” 
“I am” she turns around to see Aryna Sabelenka standing beside her. As a tennis fan she feels a little bit starstruck but she also knows that she is one of your closet friends she tries to act cool.
“Y/N wanted me to give you this”
Leah opens a note, this time it was handwritten by who she assumes is you.
Meet me at Henman hill
Butterflies flood her stomach. 
“What does it say?” Viv asks.
“She wants me to meet her on the hill” 
“What are you still doing here! Go!” Beth is full of encouragement.
Leah leaves The Polo Bar and follows the signs for the infamous hill. As she turns the corner she finds you sitting on a bench waiting for her.
“Do you always communicate through notes?” Leah asks as she takes a seat by your side.
You shift your weight so you can face her with you arms resting behind her.
“No but I couldn’t escape and ask you to come with me so I enlisted some help. Drink?”
A smile tugs at Leah’s lips when she sees the souvenir plastic cup filled with the drink that is famously associated with the tournament.
“Why am I here?” It was a question Leah had asked herself countless times since receiving the invite.
“Because I like you even though I don’t know you”
“You just wanted to have the lionesses here for optics” Leah didn’t believe you.
“If that was true then I wouldn’t have invite you to my celebration and I would have given you general seating tickets but I didn’t. I gave you Royal box seats because everyone knows that winner of the tournament walks passed the exit near the royal box when they go to the balcony yet when I walked by I only saw the royal family”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing to me” Leah was oblivious to the point you were trying to make.
“I wanted to see you so they failed in comparison” 
Leah chokes on her sip of Pimms.
“But I’m just me. I’m just Leah”
“And I’m just Y/N”
“You just won Wimbledon”
“And you won the euros” you place your cup on the floor so that you can place a strand of hair behind her ear, it was the perfect excuse to get closer to her “Leah, I’m going to be very forward because right now I feel untouchable and I don’t know how long it will last. I think you’re beautiful, you intrigue me and I have been waiting almost a year for this exact moment”
Was it the euphoria of winning or the Pimms in your system that made you feel like you could fly, you couldn’t know for sure but the look in Leah’s eyes let you know she was feeling something similar.
“I have a present for winning today. Close your eyes” Leah was fully committed to what she was about to do.
“I’m not really one for surprises” 
“You’ll like this one. Close your eyes”
This time you do as you’re told. You wasn’t sure what to expect but it definitely wasn’t Leah’s soft lips against your own. The kiss was soft, gentle and didn’t last no where near as long as you wanted. When Leah pulls away you lean forward for more but a hand on your chest stops you.
“No, that’s for winning a grand slam” Leah knows she has you in the palm of her hand and she loves it. 
“This is my fourth grand slam meaning you owe me three more kisses” you pouted for a few second whilst gauging Leah’s reaction. When a smirk forms you know you have her permission to cash in. You remove Leah’s hand from your chest but keep ahold of it. The kiss is deeper this time and hold more passion than the first one. 
“Do you always do this after you win? Kiss a stranger?” 
You know Leah is joking but if there is even a slight possible they her question hold truth you feel the need to reassure her.
“You kissed me first but no I don’t” 
She could tell by your tone and the way you held eye contact that you was in fact telling the truth.
You kept looking at the clock next to the two large screens. You could only buy 40 minutes before you had to return to the bar and it took Leah a little bit longer to join you than you’d hoped but you think that could have something to do with the messenger of the note. Still, you only had ten minutes left alone with her.
This moment has been planned for the past 24 hours and you still had one last part to carry out.
“I have a surprise for you but it won’t be as good as yours” you led Leah down the hill and to one of the kiosks. As planned the door had been left open and you were able to get your treat from the fridge. 
Pimms wasn’t the only thing associated with Wimbledon; strawberries and cream were also a fan favourite.
“For you” you hold out a box containing the sweet treat.
At this point Leah realised this wasn’t some spare of the moment idea, you had this entire thing planned out.
“You knew I’d say yes to meeting you?” Leah asked before taking a bite of her first strawberry. For some reason it was sweeter than any other she had eaten before.
“No. My back up option was to sit on that hill, alone, take in the day and eat two boxes of strawberries and cream but I much prefer this” 
“Where are we going?” The blonde asks.
“Back to the bar”
“But it’s that way” Leah could point to the terrace of the bar. You were heading in the opposite direction.
“No, it’s this way”
“Y/N I can see the bar, it’s right there”
“Leah I wouldn’t direct you at the emirates would I?”
“Y/N” Leah persisted, she wanted to know what you were planning next.
“Fine, we are going the long way because as soon as I enter that room I will be whisked away and you will go back to your friends. I want to make this moment last. Consider this way the scenic route”
Within seconds you and Leah are walking in sync, each footstep hitting the pavement at the same time. She hangs on every word you say as you explain the history of the grounds. The passion your voice holds warms her heart. You move on to tell her stories how you used to come here as a child but never went inside the court because you preferred to sit on the hill. Leah learnt that you inviting her to Henman hill held more sentimental meaning that she realised.
When you got closer to the entrance of the bar your pace altered, every step took twice the time. Inside things were hectic and everyone wanted a piece of you but with Leah things were calm and easy. These are the thoughts that run through your mind as you open to door only to find that Leah isn’t behind you.
“I’m not ready to go in yet” her pout is adorable.
“I don’t have a choice. I was given 40 minutes and it’s been” you look down at your watch “41 minutes. We’ve had an extra 60 seconds”
“I want to see you again. Are you free tomorrow?” Leah asks.
“I’m not” 
“Oh right, yeah” Leah dips her head and tries to play it off but you don’t buy it.
“I will be here the whole day for media and what not then on the night there is a dinner to celebrate the tournament” you walk towards Leah and use your index finger to make her look you in the eyes “I’m free on Monday. I know a place not to far from here. How about I pick you up at 11?”
“You don’t know where I live. How will you pick me up?”
“I guess I’ll need to give you my number so that you can next me your address” you hand her your phone and she enters her number but before she gives you it back she texts herself so you have your number too.
You both walk down the hallway together and she watches as you save her contact.
Blondie 
“How original. Does that mean I get to give you a code name?” Once again Leah stops as she taps her chin methodically before typing. She proudly shows your her phone once she is done.
Ace
“Really?”
“What? It seems fitting. You won the game on one today and I happen to think you’re ace”
She was proud of the name and secretly you loved it too. 
The bar is empty when you enter. You look at Leah who shrugs her shoulders; she was just as confused as you were. You are about to ask a waiter where everyone is when you hear voices from the terrace. The only people left are your team, a couple of your friends and the Arsenal girls. They are all sat around a huge table. Your manager is the first person you look at and she simply smiles. She knew how much you wanted to celebrate tonight with those closest to you so after meeting the important people she organised for all media, meet & greets and whatever else to be scheduled for tomorrow. 
With your hand on the small of Leah’s back you guide her to a space that happened to be in the middle of her friends and yours. Something that you would later find out wasn’t a coincidence.
The night isn’t wild but it was just what you wanted. You recapped the match that you would remember for the rest of your life, Leah introduced you properly to her friends and to top it off Leah kissed you goodnight before going home. 
Who knew it took you winning Wimbledon to ask the pretty girl out.
751 notes · View notes
floralpascal · 10 months
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The Ghost of You
Summary: After you go on a months-long mission without Ghost, he’s left to reconcile the ever-increasing loneliness that’s left in your absence.
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader (no use of y/n)
Word Count: 2.3k
Rating: Mature (But the series is explicit, so 18+ only, mdni!)
Warnings: kissing, secret relationship, little hints of agonizing over feelings, fluff, mention of sex, a metaphor that mentions drugs, Ghost getting a little overstimulated
A/N: I know I promised this one would be more fluff than angst… but apparently I can’t help myself
This series: Illicit Indulgences Series Masterlist
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Loneliness was a sly, malicious sort of pain. Before a person could realize how deep the affliction ran, it was already too late. They were already drowning in it. 
It started, as it often did, in Ghost’s dreams. You haunted him often in them, that was no surprise. Hell, sometimes it was a good thing — depending on the type of dream. But recently, the dream version of you wasn’t right next to him like you usually were. At first, you were just out of reach, the ghost of a woman he could never seem to catch up with. So close, yet so far away. Even when the dreams weren’t the kind that he wished he could forget, the distance between you filled him with a sense of unease that he couldn’t shake until long after he awoke. Slowly, the dreams morphed, always leaving you farther and farther from him and in increasing peril. What the danger was or where you were, he never quite knew. All he knew was that he had to close the distance, he had to catch up to you. But he never could. 
The dreams had begun to leave him more on-edge than he was willing to admit. 
Maybe they would’ve been more tolerable if he would have woken to find you next to him or — at least — been able to see you at some point in the day. Instead, the only contact Ghost had with you was with the ever-elusive ghost of you in his dreams. 
Price had taken you on an operation with him three months ago. When you had left, no one knew how long it would take, especially seeing as it was likely to take you to several countries. It was a delicate operation — one Price was working with an old friend — that could use someone with your swiftness and precision. Much to Ghost’s annoyance, it did not require his particular skill set and he was needed on a base in England for the next few months anyways. 
“Don’t worry about me. It’ll be fine, Simon,” you had assured him, easy confidence in your voice as you traced the edges of his mask with your finger. You laid in his bed, completely bare merely hours before you would catch your plane. “Just don’t go missing me too much.”
As weeks turned into months without seeing your face or hearing your voice, the only contact coming in the form of small updates from Price, Simon found himself truly without you for the first time in forever. Since you had joined the 141, you had almost always worked with Ghost, even when the team had to split up to do separate missions. Being without you for so long would’ve felt wrong even if there was no personal component to his relationship with you. 
But there was. 
Sometimes, late in the night, he would forget and start to consider how he could sneak over to your quarters and into your bed. Or he would hear a set of footsteps approaching and think for a moment it might be you. The realization always came to him, each time more biting than the last. 
If he thought you occupied his mind before, you had truly conquered it now. The ghost of you always there. Would you have chuckled at Soap’s joke? Would you have given Gaz a hard time for his favorite football team’s huge loss? What witty, teasing remark would you whisper in Ghost’s ear as you passed him in the hall?
Those questions only led to more. Were you thinking of him? Was he haunting you like you were haunting him? 
Were you okay? 
The space you left felt like a cavern. The dull ache of it gradually spread, taking hold deeper and afflicting more and more of him until he finally had no other option than to admit it. 
It was lonely without you. 
When you were next to him, it was easy to forget what life was like before you joined the team. Before you had wound your way into virtually every aspect of his life with him hardly noticing. Your current absence, however, made this fact painfully obvious to him now.
The days were dimmer, his usual tasks almost unbearably tedious. He had never realized how much he looked for your presence before — or how plentiful it was — until it was gone. He had come to rely on your witty banter while you both did paperwork, your never-ending input on his decisions, and the hidden, imperceptible touches of your hand against him throughout the day. 
It surprised him how much he missed your touch. Out of all the things he missed about you, it was the lack of your soft skin against his that left him endlessly irritable. Enough so that even Soap had noticed that something was wrong, though the Sergeant knew better than to push this subject.
What made him even more irritable were the worries he had about your safety. At least when you were by his side in the field, he could try to protect you. He could do something. There was something agonizing about being unable to even know if you were in danger, let alone do something about it. Ghost had never thought himself to be a worrier, but now he found himself unable to stop. But why was he surprised? He had always worried on some level even when you were right there next to him. Now, the feeling was simply multiplied by uncertainty. 
As Ghost sorted the clean mixture of black, green, and camo laundry in front of him on his bed, he found himself finally being able to put a name to the feeling he felt: emptiness. It described loneliness better, he thought. Loneliness implied that there was a space left that no one had ever occupied. Emptiness, however, left him with the distinct impression that there was a space left unoccupied that was supposed to be occupied. Like someone had once been there and now their absence left a gaping hole. 
You bloody sap, he thought to himself as he laid another worn, soft green shirt onto a stack. Even his own chastising didn’t help.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Ghost silently sighed, rolling his eyes. He ignored the knocking at his quarters’ door as he resumed his sorting. 
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Ghost simply called, “Go away.”
He knew what Johnny was here for. The man had pestered him to go with him to some concert at a local pub tonight for days now. Apparently, he didn’t want to take no for an answer.
The door handle jiggled before the door swung open, a line of privacy that he thought Johnny knew much better than to cross. 
“Bloody fuckin’ hell, Johnny,” Ghost snapped as he whipped around to face him. “What d’ya think you’re-?”
But when his eyes landed on the doorway, Ghost froze, his eyes going wide as he stopped dead in his tracks.
It wasn’t Soap. It was you. 
You. Not the amorphous phantom of you that had haunted him for so long. Undeniably, you. You wore your usual black tee tucked into camo pants, looking rumpled and a bit disheveled. It hit him then that you must have just gotten back. Your eyes were tired and wide, but a small smile still clung to your lips. Even though you had been the one to seek him out, you seemed almost as surprised to see him as he was to see you.
The door clicked shut behind you, leaving the two of you alone and in private as you both simply stared — almost disbelieving — at the other. 
You took him in as your shoulders relaxed. 
“Simon,” you sighed, relief dripping from the word. It hung in the air, feeling like it had physical weight to it. 
You stepped forward tentatively, your eyes drinking him in for the first time in months. 
Suddenly, you were in his embrace. He didn’t know if you had thrown yourself there, if he had pulled you in, or if some mix of the two had occurred. His brain was too busy still catching up with the fact that you were really here. That the warmth he felt in his arms was you.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, hands clutching at him as if he might turn into smoke and disappear at any moment. He wrapped his strong arms tighter around you to pull you closer so that any and all space was eliminated from between the two of you, not at all reluctant to seem desperate for this. For you. Maybe some part of him should’ve been mindful not to crush you, but you didn’t seem to mind. You only melted into his embrace even more, your body slumping against his. Wordlessly burying his face in the crook of your neck, he let the long-forgotten scent of you wash over him. 
He had imagined what you both would do when you saw each other again a ridiculous number of times in the last three months but, surprisingly, none of them had gone like this. There wasn’t a sense of lust in the air. There wasn’t any witty banter. There was only the overwhelming need to be close. To simply feel that the other was really here. It conveyed something that words or sex simply couldn’t. A silent, languid, but no less urgent discussion. It felt like recharging after running on low battery for much, much longer than either of you had ever been meant to operate on. This was more than enough, almost too much and not enough at the same time. But that was what being with you was often like.
You both stood there for a while in each other’s embrace. When it became obvious that neither of you were ready for this to end any time soon, Ghost detached from you only enough to gather the just-sorted clothes on his bed and toss them haphazardly to the floor. He pulled you down to lay with him, fully clothed and overwhelming. Your touch soaked through his clothes and through his skin like a drug that he had been suffering withdrawals from.
He found himself lying in the same position with you that he had the night before you left: facing you, his legs entangled with yours, and his arms around you as you ran a finger along the fabric of his mask. The feeling was so fine, yet so strong it sent a shiver down his spine. 
“Missed you,” he whispered, so soft he didn’t even know if you had heard it. The words felt flimsy, useless to describe what he had truly endured. Even if he could describe that, however, he still may not have been able to say the words. It felt too dangerous to put something so vulnerable out into the world like that. Historically, it had always bit him in the arse in the end. Uttering the two simple words he had was already a Herculean feat. 
“I thought I told you not to,” you countered, but it wasn’t a true rebuttal. He couldn’t tell if it was for your own need to hear his voice once again or if you could tell that his admission had taken a lot from him and he needed your wit to lighten the conversation. By the way you longingly studied his face, he placed his bet on both.
He shrugged. “Didn’t listen.”
You looked at him lazily, your expression turning serious once again. “Neither did I. I missed you, too.”
If his senses hadn’t already been overwhelmed by your sudden reappearance, he was sure your admission would’ve hit him harder. He stored it away for another time when he had more clarity to devote to unpacking it. 
To unpacking what any of this meant for the two of you. 
Part of this job was being apart. At any moment, the two of you could be ordered to the opposite ends of the world for an undisclosed amount of time. Maybe at one point in this relationship that would’ve been possible for the two of you. Now, even the thought caused physical sharp, searing pain. 
You brought him back from his thoughts as your hands found the edge of his balaclava, eyes asking him for permission. It wasn’t like you needed to ask anymore — he had already given it to you the night that he first pulled it off of his head in your quarters — but you always did. Without fail, you always asked. 
He gave a curt nod, one that said you know you already have the answer to that question. 
Fingers grazing over his neck, you gathered the soft cloth before gingerly pulling it up and off of his head. Something about taking the mask off in your presence never ceased to make him hold his breath. Each time, you looked at him as if it were the first time again and, at the same time, as if it may be the last time you ever would. 
You took him in for a moment before slowly moving to capture his lips with yours. A soft, world-tipping affair. 
When his senses became overloaded, he pulled away, opting instead to tilt his chin up to place a kiss to your forehead. You scooted closer, tucking yourself under his chin before letting out a long, satisfied breath. Hands slowly traversing your back, he let his eyes fall closed as he simply took in the feeling of you against him again.
Even though he knew you couldn’t stay here all night — not on this base — he needed to take advantage of every second he had with you. Was he making up for lost time or trying to burn these moments with you into his memory in case of another extended time apart? He didn’t know. All he knew was the thought of enduring another second without you made him feel sick. 
Simon pushed the thought away. He didn’t need to think about it right now. You were here in his arms once again, solid and real. And like this, that feeling of emptiness he had grown accustomed to for months was long gone. 
437 notes · View notes
misguidedasgardian · 1 year
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The Last Raid
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MASTERLIST
Summary: You are a norsewoman, a Viking shieldmaiden from Norway, you were riding with the brothers Erik and Sigefrid, when Uhtred takes back the princess the army disbands, and you go on your own. 
Pairing: Osferth x Shieldmaiden!lreader 
Warnings: TLK AU, war, death, smut, profanity, religious themes, pagan rituals, and much more
Wordcount:  1.5 k
Notes: Is this a story? or a one shot? nobody knows hehe 
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The army of Danes that you were riding with had been annihilated, completely destroyed by the army of King Alfred and the command of Uhtred the Daneslayer, that is what you got for making an alliance with the Danes, you should have stayed with your people, with the Vikings from the North, from Norway.
After someone in the middle of the fight hit you in the head, you fell limply in the middle of the battle, when you regained your bearings, you could only see what was left of your “army” running for the hills, leaving you alone. 
So you decided to go your own way, you didn’t fit with them anyways, but now you were alone, you luckily had time to gather your things, your horse and your weapons before the camp was completely destroyed. You rode until you came across a huge river, you didn’t have a clue of where you were, but you needed to wash away the blood from your enemies and the dirt from the fight.
You haven't come across anyone so you gathered you were alone, so you discarded your coat of mail, the leather shirt underneath, your boots and your thick leather pants, you only left the long shirt to cover in case someone did come along. You didn’t even have the heart to undo your braids. 
You let yourself relax as you cleaned your face from the dirt and dried blood, you even submerged your head under the water, and when you emerged you let yourself hear the birds chirping from afar and even though the water was freezing, it was beautiful, calm, peaceful.
Were you going to try and make a life here like your grandfather had intended? you were growing weary of the fight, you wanted to settle, to plant, to farm, to have a house of your own with a big hall in which you could gather your friends and family… which you were lacking.
If you came close to one of those Saxon villages, would they let you stay? Would they give you a job? or would they hate you and pursue you for being a Viking?, the only settlement the vikings from Norway had in England had been destroyed, to find more of your people was going to be difficult… 
You were so deep in your own thoughts that when you noticed the presence behind you, it was too late. You turned around quickly and you tried to run to shore, to your belongings, to your axe and sword, but a smiling man stood right by them, his hand in his own sword, so you took a step back, in fear. 
You were still in the water, but you still had something. You extracted a small knife from a Garter you had tied in your thigh, and came face to face with four men. They had singular appearances, they did not look Dane, not at all, but they didn’t look Saxon either. 
“She is a Dane, Uhtred”, warned one, that by the looks of him and his accent, was one himself 
“Aren’t you a clever one?”, you mocked, “nothing escapes you, except, I am not a Dane” 
“With a sharp tongue”, mocked the one who seemed to be the leader
“She is pretty Lord”, said a blonde, with wide innocent eyes and strange clothes, they all laughed, they made your skin crawl and you tightened the grip on the handle of your blade
“Baby Monk fell in love!”, mocked the one that was near your things, perhaps you should take that one first, grab your ax, you could at least take another one with you, they did not had a bow, so, they will have to come close to you to attack you, you looked at the path you were going to need to run by, careful of the sharp rocks under the water. Three long jumps and you could take him…
You took one step and the one they called Uhtred raised his hand, you looked into his eyes and you could tell he had all but read your mind, looking at the path in front of you and then at his man.
“Finan”, he called, and then he also seemed to notice, and he took a defensive position, so your plan was ruined, then you looked at the other Dane, and then at the priest looking one, who would be easier to kill?
“We will not hurt you”, Uthred said, showing you his hands, you were surrounded, and they were four warrior men, you did not believe him
“Four men, one woman, I know how this ends”, you growled, you looked to your knife and even though you wished a glorious death in battle, taking your own life seemed a better choice than to be… taken by these men. So you turned your knife and turned it towards you
“There is not need for that”, said Uthred hastily, truly scared
“I think there is”, you said defensively, holding the knife to your own chest
“We will not hurt you”, their easy way of carrying themselves turned serious, all four men looking at you wide-eyed, “I give you my word”, he said, taking a step back, his men followed him, as a sign of peace, so you relaxed your stance, “who are you?”, he asked, looking at your things
“A Viking shield maiden”, you answered quickly, “From Norway”, you said looking at the one that called you a Dane
“What is your name?”, he asked
“(Y/N), Bjorndottir, daughter of Bjorn Ironside”, his eyes went wide, as the dane’s, he all but wanted to kneel
“Bjorn, King of Kattegat? King of Norway?”, he asked, you nodded, “I’m Uhtred”, he introduced himself
“I know who you are, Uhtred of Bebbanburg, or Uthred Ragnarson, or the Dane slayer, or the Godless”, you listed 
“You heard of me”, he said with a mocking smile
“I like to “hear” of my enemies”, you said, “or my leader’s enemies”, you continued
“This are my men, Finnan, Sithric, and Osferth”, he said pointing at each of them, you nodded, acknowledging them
“Why are you alone? I saw you in the battlefield”, said Finnan, “your army is far away by now, or what’s left of it”
“Those bastards left me for dead”, you said simply, “they only wanted me for my influence, that is gone now, along with my respect”, you said quickly, you relaxed the arm that held your knife 
“Where are you heading?”, Uhtred asked
“I don’t know”, you answered truthfully
“Where would you like to go?”, he asked then
“First? dry land, I’m freezing”, you said bitterly, and they all seemed to notice, and they took another stepback, Finan walking away from your things and standing by his leader, so you walked to your clothes, drying yourself with your bloodied shirt, and then disposing of it. 
“Do you mind?”, you asked, looking at them over your shoulder, and they turned around, so you could dispose of your wet dress, and changing quickly into clothes from your bag
Once you were comfortable, you turned to the men, who turned back to look at you
“So, you have something to eat?”, you asked
Two hours past, a fire was lit, the night had fallen, and you were roasting a couple of rabbits
“Why are you here? Bjorn Ironside is not in this country”, asked Sithric, you looked back at him
“My father is a bastard who left me me as soon as he noticed I was a girl and when he got tired of humping my mother”, you said dismissively, “He is terrorizing lands further than Frankia”, you saw them share looks
“So, why are you here?”, asked Uhtred
“I wanted to make a name for myself”, you confessed, “battles, glory, lands…”
“So, what happened?”, asked Finnan, by his accent, you realized he must have been from that country they called Ireland 
“Couldn’t find any of those things”, you said simply, “who would have thought that slaughtering farmers and their families was not going to be as glorious as everyone said?”, you mocked, “I don’t like it”
“What do you want?”, he insisted
“A land to sow, a house to live in… something quiet, but I do like a good fight, I guess… I’m a sellsword now”, you whispered looking at the meat between your greasy fingers 
“Pledge your sword to me”, he demanded, “fight for me and you can settle in Cuccham, the lands I’m the Lord of”
“I don’t want to kill more innocent people, or taking things I have not earned”, you said, as terms for your allegiance 
“Good, we will not have you do any of those things”, he said, certainly, you barely nodded, “we are not very elite men, Finan here was a slave when I met him, Sihtric if the bastard son of Kjartan, and the baby monk, is the bastard son of King Alfred, turned monk, and now turned sword”
“King Alfred?”, you asked, “And Earl Kjartan?”, they only nodded, “Alright, I like this, a group of misfits, bonded by loyalty, I like it”, you said, clapping your hands, “My sword is yours, Uhtred Ragnarson, as long as you not ask of me anything that will bring me dishonor” 
He only smiled, as did their men
538 notes · View notes
Note
Thank you for you blog! I love it so much - I come here daily to read your latest posts.
I'd love to own a snake but alas, I currently live in New Zealand so no snakes for me.
Do you have cool facts about tuatara? I do but I'd love readers of your blog to learn about these cool little reptiles!
It's a huge dream of mine to work with tuatara one day! I've always loved the reptile life of Oceania and literally the only reason I haven't already moved to Australia or even Aotearoa/NZ is because of the limitations on keeping non-native species.
Anyway, aren't tuatara just the coolest? For those unfamiliar, tuatara (Sphenodon punctatus) might look like lizards, but they're not! Tuatara are the only surviving members of Rhynchocephalia, the sister order to Squamata, the scaled reptiles (lizards, snakes, and amphisbaenians).
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Rhynchocephalians used to be very widespread, but today they exist only in limited populations in Aotearoa. They were almost driven to extinction by habitat loss and pressure from invasive species, and for a long time the only wild populations were on offshore islands. In a huge success for tuatara conservation, though, populations were reintroduced onto the North Island and there are now hatchlings being born on the North Island for the first time in centuries. There's still so much work to be done to help these amazing reptiles, but it's worth celebrating! The Chester Zoo in England has also welcomed tuatara hatchlings, meaning tuatara have been successfully bred outside of Aotearoa for the first time and indicating possible future success for wider zoo breeding programs across the world!
Tuatara have many anatomical features that are unique among reptiles, and they tell us a lot about the extinct rhynchocephalians. Their teeth arrangement is unique among reptiles, and their lower jaws can slide to cut through bone. They're the only known amniotes who have hourglass-shaped vertebrae, and they have gastralia (belly ribs). Even if they might look kinda like lizards on the outside, their skeleton is wildly different!
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Tuatara have the most well-developed parietal eyes of any vertebrates. These are "third eyes" that sit on top of the head, and in most reptiles who have them they're extremely primitive, but in tuatara they have well-developed retinas and a cornea-like structure! Parietal eyes are covered by a thin layer of skin and probably help with thermoregulation and day/night cycle regulation.
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They are carnivores and eat a wide diet of insects, lizards, and birds. Juvenile tuatara will hunt during the day so they can avoid being eaten themselves by adult tuatara, who hunt at night.
The name "tuatara" comes from te reo Māori, and means "peaks on the back," a reference to the spines along a tuatara's back. Tuatara are sexually dimorphic, and the spines are larger and more rigid in males. They're used in breeding and defensive displays!
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One of the challenges for tuatara conservation is how long it takes them to reach sexual maturity - about 10-20 years, and they tend to have very small egg clutches. They've been recorded to lay up to 19 eggs, but a more typical clutch is as small as 3-6 eggs or even a single egg. These eggs also take over a year to be laid and hatch. They have the slowest growth rates of any reptile, reaching full size at around 30 years and having an average lifespan of around 60 but lifespans closer to 100 not being uncommon.
The oldest known tuatara is named Henry, and he lives at the Invercargill museum on the South Island. He's at least 120 but may be as old as 150, and is still fathering healthy clutches!
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Tuatara are simply incredible. They're so unique among living reptiles, and they have so much to tell us about a mostly-extinct order of reptiles. Plus, like, you can't deny they're so cool and adorable!
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secular-jew · 6 months
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Please share and help stop propaganda and educate people.
I was born to hate jews. By Kaseem Hafiz
It was part of my life. I never questioned that. I was not born in Iran or Syria. I was born in England. My parents moved there from Pakistan. Theirs was the typical immigrant story: Move to the West hoping to create a better life for themselves and their children.
We were a devoted Muslim family, but not extremists or radicals in any way. We only wanted the best for everyone - everyone except the Jews. The Jews, we thought, were aliens living in stolen Muslim land, occupiers involved in a genocide against the Palestinian people. Our hatred was therefore justified and just. And it left me and my friends vulnerable to radical extremist arguments. If the Jews were as evil as we've always believed, shouldn't those who support them - Christians, Americans and others in the West - be just as evil?
All of this had its desired effect. At least it did on me. It changed the way I looked at the world. I began to look at the suffering of Muslims, including in Britain, as the fault of Western imperialism. The west was at war with us, and the Jews controlled the west. My experience at the university in the UK only reinforced my increasingly radical conviction. Hating Israel was a badge of honor. Set up an anti-Israel, pro-Palestinian rally, and you were sure to attract a huge, approver
While in uni, I decided that the protests and propaganda against Israel were not enough. Real jihad requires violence. So I made plans to join the real fight. I want to drop out of college and join terrorist training camp in Pakistan. But, fortunately for me, fate intervened - in a bookstore.
I came across a book called The Case for Israel by Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz. The case for Israel? Which case could that be? The title itself infuriated me, and I started reading the pages almost like a travesty. How ill-informed, how stupid, can this guy be to defend the defenseless? Well, he was a Jew. That must have been the answer
👉Still I am reading. And what I read challenged all my dogmas about Israel and the Jews: I read that it was not Israel who created the Palestinian refugee crisis, it was the Arab countries, the UN and the corrupt Palestinian leadership. I read that Jews did not exploit the Holocaust to create the state of Israel; the movement to create a modern Jewish state dating back to the 19th. century, and eventually to the beginning of the Jewish people almost 4000 years ago. And I read that Israel is not engaged in genocide against the Palestinians. On the contrary, the Palestinian population has actually doubled in just twenty years.
👉What I saw with my own eyes was even more challenging than what Dershowitz had written. Instead of apartheid I saw Muslims, Christians and Jews coexisting. Instead of hate, I saw acceptance, even compassion. I saw a violent, modern, liberal democracy, full of flaws, for sure, but fundamentally decent. I saw a country that wanted nothing but to live in peace with its neighbors. I watched my hate melt before my eyes. I knew just then what I had to do.
Too many people on this planet are consumed by the same hate that consumed me. They have been taught to despise the Jewish state - many Muslims through their religion, many others by their university professors or student groups.
So here's my challenge to anyone who feels this way: do what I did - seek the truth for yourself. If the truth can change me, it can change anyone.
I am Kasim Hafeez from Prager University.
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billthedrake · 7 months
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THE VETERAN
(This is an idea I've been batting around for a while. Thanks to @maturedadsandmen for the inspiration to see it through.)
"This round's on me, Ackerman," Jim Bowers said, with a quick squeeze of my shoulder before he went to get us another round of beers. His blue eyes twinkled, and I could see the wrinkles and crows feet on his weathered, tanned face. Bowers held his liquor better than me, but he was definitely buzzed, too.
It had been a long week, but the summer MLB draft was now complete and a lot of the front office guys - and gals, too, but mostly guys - were out celebrating. Only now, some of the guys were heading off to dinner or going home. A few were in a corner trying to hit on some women at the bar. Which left me chatting with Bowers.
I don't know why Jim had decided to be buddy-buddy with me. Over the last month, the sarcastic putdown of calling me Moneyball had somehow turned into a friendly nickname, when he wasn't calling me by last name. But I leaned into it. The man was a former professional player and a legend in Royals history. He'd coached for a good decade once the boredom of retirement finally sunk in, but then the wave of analytics pushed him out the door. So now he was a special advisor to the GM and the face of the business side of the organization. Not exactly a mascot, but Jim brought in more when his gravitas and old-school knowledge of the game mattered. Which wasn't all the time, and Jim knew that.
I tried not to have the hard-drinking ways that a lot of guys in baseball do, but it was a good occasion to let loose. I was feeling good, and I'd probably get drunk by nighttime. Thank god for Uber.
It was well-earned, but the problem was my sexual thoughts were coming to me with less filter than usual. Jim was making those sexual thoughts come hard and fast. I didn't even go for older guys, at least not that much older, not older like Bowers. The man was in his late 60s, old enough to be my granddad. But there was something powerfully sexy about the man. 6'2" and still had a decently muscled build from his daily gym routine, even if yeah, Bowers was getting his granddaddy on, more by the month.
And, damnit, that day, he was going commando in his shorts. I didn't try to scope him out, I swear, but Jim Bowers had a huge package. Thick, heavy genitals that looked obscene in his khaki shorts. Maybe the man was a show-er and not a grower, but the part he was showing looked pretty damn oversized. I'd forever think of him as Big Jim now.
I wasn't some green virgin. I was 28, with one long term relationship under my belt. I'd gotten my PhD in Applied Math at Minnesota and a plum job with the Royals right off the bat. It was why I'd studied what I'd studied. It was my dream job, doing analytics for a major league baseball team. From my little league days and collecting baseball cards, through playing baseball at my prep school to too many hours spent at college playing fantasy teams... it all led up to this.
My boyfriend Tom wasn't eager to switch jobs and move, and I wasn't eager to do the long-distance thing. We talked it out and, a week before I packed up my belongings, we broke up.
Breakups suck, but the consolation prize was rediscovering the world of hookups in a new city. I'd developed a fondness for Midwestern guys, and as a somewhat nerdy Jewish dude from New England I had fun having a different blond hunk every other weekend. I even hooked up with some older guys. I preferred guys my age but responded to a guy's personality and a shared sexual vibe over looks. And sometimes a daddy fit the bill.... Different looks, different body types and different sexual energy. It was all great.
But for me, Daddy meant like 40. Jim Bowers was rearranging my self-identified age range. Or maybe it was the beer.
"Here ya go," he said as he sauntered back with two beers in hand. Goddamn, the veteran looked FINE. I mean, no one would mistake his body for a 40 year old's or even a 50 year olds. It was mature muscle, but fit. Platelike pecs beneath the man's team-logo polo shirt, and pumped arms stretching the tanned, almost leathery skin that was covered in gray hair, matching the thicker silvery fur on his legs.
And, damn, that package: I could make out the contours of Jim Bowers' junk. There had been rumors of his heyday with the groupies. For all I knew he still had 'em, though maybe not like the current players.
We clinked glasses and the man looked me in the eye and said, "Now that the draft is done, you gonna stop being a workaholic, Moneyball?" he teased. "Maybe you can finally get a goddamn boyfriend."
Everyone in the front office knew I was gay and that was never an issue, but I also didn't make it an issue. No talk about my private life, no mention of the gay thing unless it was brought up. I was the epitome of professional, and when it came to happy hour drinks, well, I'd learned straight-dude male bonding as a way of blending in years ago.
"Come on, Jim," I said. And he knew exactly why.
"I know you got your work self and keep the rest private, buddy..." he said. "But, man, you're not as different as you think sometimes."
I don't know that I resented his words, but they rubbed me the wrong way. How was Bowers to know what I dealt with? Maybe if I hadn't been perving on the guy, I would have been more bothered.
"How so?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Take Campbell," he said, referring to Mitch Campbell, who was one of the scouts. "Good looking guy. Goes on dates all the time, but can't think of a goddamn thing to talk about to girls except baseball." Jim gave a smirk. "Girl doesn't call back, and Campbell's back to Square One."
At another moment, Bowers talk would be too old-school I-told-you-so in its condescension. Now, I was amused as hell. "You got Mitch all figured out, huh?" I teased.
Jim's blue eyes lit up some. "Tell me I'm wrong, Moneyball."
I smiled. "You're probably right," I conceded. Then, feeling my guard let down, I added, "You know, with gay guys, they like the idea of a baseball dude, but it's more the fantasy than the reality, you know?" I blushed as I spoke, but something about the drunken happy hour moment was removing my filter. "Maybe if I were a player, they'd be into the jock thing."
Bowers laughed and gave a smirk. He'd been the recipient of jock worship, even if it was from women. "You're just like Campbell, Moneyball... deep down." He patted my back. "But you're a good looking dude, and a good kid... any man would be lucky to land ya, buddy."
I ate up the words but had to reply, "Not the pep talking I was expecting tonight, Jim."
He reflected a second. "Yeah, I guess I dish out the advice easier than I can take it." Bowers had married three times and was now divorced and, as far as I knew, single.
Our conversation shifted subjects, but we got caught up in talking. I ate up his stories from his pro days, and Jim asked me about the math stuff I did. Maybe the man was right, I wasn't good at talking about much other than baseball, but he was a lifer and his whole life was the game, too.
I emptied my pint glass and had to do a mental calculation if I was gonna have another. I was on the fence. I should go home, but if Jim was having another, I knew I would too.
Instead he gave me a questioning look. "Feel like coming back to my place, Ackerman?" he asked. "We can have another one there."
The last part felt like it was added on to save face. In case I wasn't on the same wavelength. Maybe I'd been dumb in not reading the signals. Maybe I was misreading them now. But that was my first inkling that Jim Bowers was making a pass at me.
I blushed as I replied. "Sounds good, Jim," I said. "But neither one of us is driving."
"Yeah," he admitted. He was buzzed all right. He patted my shoulder. Kind of paternal but with a definite look of sexual interest in his gaze. Damn, this was not what I'd been expecting. He broke that look as he pulled out his phone to get an uber.
The guys had all gone by then and we stepped outside to wait for the car, it was getting dark out. We'd been in there a while.
"Damn, I'm starving," Jim said. "Maybe I can order us a pizza."
"Sure," I said. Hands in my pockets out of nervousness more than anything. This was probably a really bad idea, but I felt crazy attracted to Bowers, more than I'd let myself admit before tonight. This was playing out so different than a gay hookup, so I was feeling out the dynamic. But his touch between my shoulder blades as he guided me first toward the car... that touch alone was enough to make me chub.
Jim's place was big, too big for a bachelor. But it felt surprisingly homey.
"Let me get us some waters," he said. I wasn't overly drunk but he was right, it was good to drink something besides beer.
I chugged down a few sips from the plastic bottle and looked at Jim. "Nice place," I said.
"Thanks," Bowers said. Then with a soft voice, he added, "Damn, you're really fucking cute, Dave." He set down his bottle and stepped up to me.
I hadn't expected Bowers to be into dudes, at all, and I definitely didn't expect him to kiss. But he had no hesitation pulling me into a soft, wet kiss. It was a little drunken, but it was the surprise sexual attraction that made my head light. Fit as he may be, Jim was a mature guy, and I knew I was kissing a 60-something man, a man nearing 70. It was a strange thrill.
"You're into this, right?" the man hissed as he pulled back, giving me an up close view of his handsome features: roman nose, round cheeks, and gray hair growing more silver by the year, cut in a medium-short style. His hairline receded just a little but remarkably he still had a full head of hair. "I'm not looking for any HR issues," he chuckled.
"Oh I'm into it," I answered. "I guess it's just between us, right?" I was asking for his assurance as much as I was giving him mine.
"Absolutely," he said. His eyes were on me but his arm was reaching down. In my peripheral vision I could tell he was unzipping. And pulling out his dick. His grin cocked. "I'm really horny, man," he said.
I looked down. There it was, that pro-veteran baller cock. Heavy was an understatement. Jim Bowers packed a very thick, powerful 8 inch tool that jutted out of his open crotch. It was big and spongy and rock hard all at once. I wondered if he took a pill for his erections. I didn't fucking care. Bowers had an amazing cock.
I gave him one last look, a playful, sexy look, then crouched in front of him. I reached out and touched that meat, holding it. It had a soft give to the erection, but also twitched in my hand. It was my first mature cock, and I decided I liked it. Jim was hot to the touch as I angled his erection down to my lips.
"Oh yeah, buddy..." he hissed. "Lick my cock... like that."
The more I ran my tongue up and down his shaft, the bigger and heavier it felt. He tasted salty but then as I bathed his dick the flavor was cleaner. I finally figured I'd given enough foreplay and pulled that dong between my open lips.
He had enough girth to challenge me. I liked sucking dick, but I wasn't an expert at it. I guess lately I'd gotten more into anal and more into topping in my hookups. Even if I still went down on a guy, as foreplay or the main event, Bowers was bigger than I'd encountered.
But it was like riding a bike, I suppose. My initial difficulties gave way to a steady bobbing on his fat rod, feeling a good four or five inches push the confines of my throat with each motion of my mouth. It was a surprisingly pleasant feeling.
Nothing compared to the pleasure Jim was feeling. "Oh God... hell yes... work my fucking cock, man.... like that, yeah.... "
As I bobbed up and down I could see the silvery hair in his crotch, just a few darker hairs among them. And my hands felt up his mature legs, still strong, and now very furry. I was sucking a 68, maybe 69 year old and I realized I fuckin' loved this.
I always figured old guys took a long time to cum. Jim wasn't a quick cummer, but after about three minutes of giving him head I sensed the telltale signs. The urgency in his voice, the quiver in his quad muscle.
"FUCK! Here comes my fucking load, bud," he announced.
That heavy fat mature dong jerked in my throat as Bowers fed me his seed. I did my best to keep working him through that ejaculation, accentuating his orgasm with my mouth and suction.
He finally pushed my off with a friendly laugh. "Easy there, man... I think you got it all."
I looked up, knowing I felt proud. More than I'd been with my hookups. If I was honest, happier in sex than I'd been with my ex Tom. "Fuck, that was hot," I hissed.
Jim nodded. Face flushed red, his gray hair looked whiter. He somehow looked younger and older at the same time.
"Give me a second and I'll take care of you," he announced.
Not what I was expecting but I wasn't going to turn down the offer. I stood up, feeling drunk and light headed from the BJ. I started undoing my shorts and pulling them and my briefs off.
Jim grinned and reached down to grip my boner. "You 27 year olds are always rock hard," he teased, pulling my dick down to let it thwap up at the release.
"28," I corrected. "And how many have there been?" I laughed.
"Enough," he grinned. He gave my meat another look then said, "All right." And like that, the former baseball star, a man whose card I'd collected as a kid, was now getting down to suck me off.
If it hadn't been for the alcohol, I would have blasted in 20 seconds. Instead, now, I enjoyed getting head from Bowers. The slow suckling, the gentle bobs, the vision of his mature muscled bod in front of me. I ran my hands through his silvery hair.
Grandaddy was gonna work for my load, all right, and that idea was enough to get me to cum.
"Jim!" I gasped, surprised at how quickly orgasm snuck up on me and wanting to warn him.
He was a trooper, readying himself or my cum and then steadily sucking it down as I shot good and heavy into his mouth.
"Like I say," he teased when he finally pulled off. "You fucking need a boyfriend, Moneyball." He gave my leg a gentle pat then stood up. Reaching over he picked up his water bottle. To rehydrate or to wash down the flavor of cum, I wasn't sure.
Sheepishly, I pulled my underwear and shorts back on. Crossing some boundaries with Bowers had been naughty fun and all, but this part felt awkward. I started imagining what life was going to be like in the clubhouse from now on.
But Bowers stood in front of me, unabashed being naked from the waist down. His pJim hung fat and heavy, past his low-hanger balls covered in silver hair. He was definitely a show-er, even if his hard on had measured big.
"The offer for pizza still stands, Ackerman," he said, his blue eyes now normal friendly rather than lusty in their gaze. "If you wanna stay."
"You sure?" I asked.
Jim shrugged. "I'm not gonna be offended if you dash off," he said. "I've done it plenty, you know."
"It's not that," I started to say. Then, "Well, maybe it is.... but if you're OK, I could definitely eat."
That made Jim chuckle. "All right. You a peperoni man?"
****
The drunkenness was wearing off as we scarfed down the pizza. As I worked on the last slice, Jim came in with a freshly opened beer can for me, and one for him.
"I promised you a drink," he said.
"I figured that was just a pick up line," I replied. Something about sex made me feel I could be familiar with the man.
"Oh, it absolutely was," he said. "I'm not the most original guy in my lines."
I looked at his body. Relaxed on the couch. I calculated how his current body compared to a couple decades ago. I liked what Bowers had going on now, the contrast of hard and soft, muscled and aging. "You don't need killer lines when you have a killer bod," I said, flirting some.
Jim laughed but seemed into what I was saying. "You think I have a killer bod, Moneyball?"
I nodded. "Definitely." I looked at him openly. I wasn't gonna bone for round too but I was still feeling sexual. "That bug you?"
"Not at all," he said. He took a sip of beer and seemed to be looking me over, too. "You into older guys?"
"Not really," I answered. "At least not before you." I blushed as I admitted that. "Let's just say you're expanding my horizons, Jim."
He seemed to take that in. "You know, I haven't seen all your goods, Ackerman... feel like showing off a little for me?"
"You wanna see my body?" I confirmed.
"Yeah, I wanna see your fucking body," he said, leaning back into the couch cushion and spreading his legs.
I set down my beer and stood up. I peeled off my T-shirt, then undid my shorts. I spent a lot of time in the gym and had a pretty good body. By most standards it would be considered a great body, but being around professional players, I seemed more ordinary in comparison.
"Nice," Jim said. Genuinely into what I had going on. "Not just a pretty face, huh?"
I blushed. "I try, Jim."
"You do more than try... turn around," he instructed. He took in the view of my backside and my ass, before I turned back to face hi.
"Sorry, I'm getting a little chubbed." My dick was rising up and fast.
"That's hot," he said. With a concerted look he peeled off his polo shirt. I practically gasped when I saw that white-furred muscle. It was magnificent and everything I imagined Jim Bowers would be bare chested. Still had a lot of that ball-player power to him.
"Wow," I gasped. My dick was standing full up at the sight. "OK... I definitely have a thing for older men," I said. Then, "I hope you don't mind my saying that, Jim."
He gave a soft smile. "I don't mind, Dave." He leaned back and showed off his upper body some, inviting my gaze before he reached down to undo his shorts once more. They slipped off easily. I noticed that his legs were strong and sinewed but he had more muscle loss there than his upper bod.
His prick was fully and semi-firm but not throwing hard. "Think I can feel up some of that 28-year-old muscle?" he asked. Scooting down, he lay on the couch, face up and bared in his magnificent nakedness.
I took the invitation and went back to the couch to lie on top of this former star. I still had to pinch myself this was happening. The sex, but the whole evening. We both groaned as I made body contact, my hands on his chest and his on mine, while our cocks touched.
"So, Jim..." I started. "I don't wanna kill the vibe, but what's your deal?"
His hand traveled along my upper chest and over my arms. "I guess I reached a certain age and decided to stop having hang ups. Sex with guys is just easier these days."
"Yeah?" I asked.
He nodded. "A young guy... you can fool around with and he doesn't expect anything, you know?" I could feel his dick move against mine and instinctively I knew our heartbeats were synching up. "I'm not gonna lead you on, Ackerman.... not looking to date or anything, you know?"
"No offense, Jim," I said. "But I probably should stick to guys closer my own age to date."
"Probably, yeah," he laughed. His hands were now openly feeling up my back muscle as I lay on top of him. He was taller than me by two inches and had some more weight to him. It felt comforting and relaxed being naked in this position. Sexual but not we-gotta-fuck-now sexual. "If you ever feel like having fun with an old man, though..." he started.
"I definitely do," I answered. "I didn't think I'd be into this, actually," I blushed.
"Be into what?" he asked.
"The age gap," I said.
He got an impish look on his face. "You into the Granddaddies, huh?"
Fuck, I hissed. It was such a naughty thing, but it made my dick jerk, which made Jim laugh.
He patted my bare ass. "Listen, bud. I'm 69. I'm not gonna be able to get it on twice in one night. But if you feel like staying over..."
"Yeah, I'd like that," I said.
He kissed, softly. And soon we were making out. Feeling each other up. I could have gone for a round two for sure, but I didn't need to. And that made this all the better, just connecting nude body to nude body with Jim's mature veteran-baller build.
By the time we got up off the couch, I was dripping precum heavily on that swirl of silvery hair on Jim's stomach. I was rock hard as I helped him up and helped him tidy up everything and take plates and cans back to the kitchen. Eventually my erection flagged but Jim didn't make a move to put clothes back on, so I didn't either.
I was starting to second guess myself. This was a man I'd see around work. Maybe this was gonna get complicated, real fast, even if we weren't looking for anything serious.
He had a spare toothbrush for me and set out some towels if I wanted to use them. I looked in myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I often went back and forth in my self esteem, feeling cocky about my looks, then feeling all sorts of self doubt about my body and how I compared to whatever perfect guy I imagined or lusted after. But I saw myself in Jim's eyes. Maybe he went for me because I was an out gay guy, maybe an easy target. Maybe he liked that I had that nerdy but fit thing going on. Whatever it was, I was glad I'd spent the last couple of years hitting the weights and eating well.
He was already under the covers when I joined him in the king sized bed.
"Thanks for a fun evening, Ackerman," he said, his voice now sleepy. It was later than I realized.
"God, Jim, it's been wild."
"I don't normally have guys sleep over," he said. Maybe wanting me not to get any ideas.
"I don't always sleep over when they ask," I said.
He smirked. "All right, bud... ready for some sleep?"
"Yeah," I said.
And I watched his thick muscle bunch as he leaned over to turn off the light.
2
"Hey buddy," Jim Bowers said as he ushered me inside. I didn't always come over to his place. Sometimes the legendary veteran would swing by my condo for some no-strings fun before work, or after playing golf. I'd enjoying giving him a nice BJ - it was kind of my big challenge and thrill, getting used the girth and length of Big Jim's meat and getting off on our age gap. The latter was just as thrilling when Jim would have me kick back for his turn at reciprocating.
We even snuck in a BJ in a parking lot once, but while the risk felt fun, it was, well, risky.
I'd worried this would mess up things at work. Bowers wasn't my boss, but he held a senior position in the front office org chart, an advisor to my big boss. Yet the man was completely normal after our first hook up. It relaxed me for when he hit me up for a second time. Then another.
Sometimes it felt like a booty call, sometimes we grabbed a bite and a beer after sex. It was all good.
But today was different. Big Jim said he wanted to fuck me.
He was looking incredible now, shirtless and showing off that mature muscle, dusted with silver hair.
"Hey Jim," I said, stepping in. We met for a quick kiss, which became not a quick one. I could tell the ex-pro was really worked up today, and despite my nervousness, I was, too. We laughed a little at how horny we were when I finally broke the connection and stepped back.
"You look amazing," I said.
He flexed a little. Best of all, I could see that heavy dick in his mesh shorts. Not hanging either but boned up into a hard ridge. The man was in heat.
"How much you work out?" I asked. It had been on my mind for a while. For a man his age, Bowers was very well preserved.
Big Jim didn't miss a beat. "A hell of a lot, Moneyball," he said with a smirk. He cocked his head back toward his bedroom. "Feel like getting down to it? Or you want a drink or something?"
My heart fluttered a little bit. "I'm horny as fuck," I replied. "But I won't lie: I'm a little scared."
"Scared? Why?" Jim asked. I realized he was sincere in his question. Like it hadn't occurred to him.
"For starters, I don't bottom much," I said, then nodded down to his crotch. "And then there's that beast you got between your legs."
That made Bowers smile. I probably wasn't the first to compliment his endowment and wouldn't be the last. But the ego boost was appreciated. "You seem to like it."
"Hell yeah I like," I said. "I love it," I added in admission. "But that's a lot of dick to take."
He chuckled, stepping up to me, and running his fingers along my cheek. "You're overthinking it, Ackerman. Let's just enjoy this."
Easy for him to say, I thought. But something about him was charming me. The weathered face, the sea blue eyes, the craggly voice. I was gonna go with it. "All right, lead the way," I hissed.
I peeled off my T-shirt and shorts as I stepped into his bedroom. I'd learned to go commando for these hookups and as I freed my meat, my dick firmed up quickly as Jim pulled down the sheets and then slid down his shorts.
I saw one reason for that massive hardon. Bowers had a cock ring on, which made that dick firmer than normal. He saw where I was looking. "Hope you don't mind the ring, bud. Just gives a little more insurance at my age."
I crawled on the bed and showed how little I minded it. Scooting forward, I let Big Jim guide that hard meat to my mouth.
"Yes...." he grunted as I sucked in a few inches, then choked down another. I was getting better at this. My face blushed as I sucked, my bare ass up for Jim's gaze. I wasn't used for being so bottomy, so open in servicing with a guy, but it was a fun new mode. Particularly as I smelled Bowers' clean soapy scent and could see the silvery crotch hair in front of me.
He put his hands on his hips and let me do the work. The man loved a BJ. I mean, who doesn't? But Jim seemed to really crave oral sex. I half thought he'd change his mind today and let me get him off with my mouth. I'd cleaned myself out and prepped for anal, but a part of me wouldn't have been upset with a change of plans.
But I felt his hand on my head, nudging me back.
"Lie back," he urged.
I scrambled back, letting Big Jim see my naked body. The man got off on my youth, on the fact he had a 20-something stud in his bed. He'd told me as much, but his eyes confirmed it now as he stood next to the bed and pumped some lube into his hand, fisting that rock hard granddaddy meat.
"I hope to god you don't think you're just gonna ram that thing up me," I said in a nervous joking tone.
He grinned and shook his head. "Relax, Ackerman, I know what I'm doing." He got on the bed, his core contracting as he shifted his weight forward. Our lips met for a second and I took a moment to feel up that mature brawn. It was still a head fuck that I was having sex with THE Jim Bowers. Even if he wasn't quite my main childhood idle or on my favorite team growing up, I used to watch watch him play all the time, and it felt like I was in the presence of a legend.
He leaned up and I took in that view of Bowers's strong shoulder muscle and thick arms. He gave a couple of soft kisses along my abs as he scooted down. "Lift 'em up, buddy," he urged.
I was nervous but I wanted this, I decided. It had been a solid year since I'd bottomed, but I was getting in the mood now. As I pulled back my legs, Big Jim was gonna get me all the way there. He leaned in and I felt his breath and his five o clock stubble before his tongue darted out to lick me.
Here was a man of surprises, all right. Jim Bowers was really into eating ass. It tickled at first, and I fought to keep the tickling sensation from overwhelming me. It was just my body's defensiveness. It was half mental, but also the unfamiliarity of having my ass stimulated. But Jim's tongue pressed deeper in, and the feeling changed. Rawer, more overtly sexual.
"God," I grunted. It was a mind fuck, too, looking down at this older man, almost 70, going to town on my hole. And me letting him.
He took his time but I could tell he was horny now. After a minute or so he leaned up and let out a soft growl of approval. "Hot hole, Dave," he said, timing the pressing of his first finger perfectly. It was lubed, and I enjoyed the thickness of his digit entering me. He dug around some, worming my sphincter open more before diving in for another rim job.
"You got nice and clean for me, buddy," he said with approval.
"Yeah," I replied, holding my legs back and letting him prepare me. Alternating rimming with more fingering. Pretty soon he was focused on the latter, two then three then two then three fingers, drizzling more lube at the connecting spot.
He looked down at me, horny. Maybe that cock was viagra-ed up or maybe the cock ring was doing all the work. But it was steel rigid.
He pulled his hand back and lined up that heavy, hard meat. "You got this, man..." was all he said, before I felt that dull stinging of his penetration.
"Fuck!" I cried. Not in pain but more in fear.
He held steady, an inch of that fat dick wedged in my ring. "You're tight as hell," he observed. "Just relax, Ackerman."
"I'm trying!" I laughed.
Jim smiled. God he was so handsome and sexy. I didn't think I'd ever be into a guy pushing 70, but at that moment I knew I really was. He pulled back and fisted that big meat. I felt bad I was extra work to get in. But he leaned in and kissed me some. Sensual, tongue-heavy kissing while his fingers went back down to work my hole again.
I was ready this time. He broke the kiss but didn't pull back entirely. Deftly he placed that dong at my hole and applied just the right amount of force. And like that I had three solid inches of Jim Bowers' fatness in me.
I clenched my teeth and gripped his biceps in automatic response.
His eyes challenged mine. "You got this," he assured me. More confident than I was. More pressure was pushing that very wet, very lubed phallus into me. I was tight but also enjoying that stretching feeling. Maybe because Big Jim was going slow.
He nodded at me, his face now serious, not very sexual and horny. "You feel SO fucking good on my dick buddy," he growled in a low voice. That gravely Bowers voice. "You gonna make your Granddad feel good?"
We'd tossed back the granddaddy term. For me it was an extension of "daddy" - a daddy with a few extra years. Mature like Jim. But now that term hit me in a pervy place. My bowels unclenched and welcomed all of that magnificent cock into me.
"Yeah you are," Big Jim hissed.
"God, Granddad..." I moaned, hesitant at first, trying it out.
"I got ya, boy," he said, more aloud as he began his first thrust. Not hard, but a real fuck thrust into me. With Jim's size, it felt like a lot and was rapidly rearranging my previous assumptions - of being mostly top, of not being into grandpas.
His hips swiveled slowly as I held his muscular body and welcomed him into me. I felt like we weren't just having sex. We were mating. I was being owned from the inside out. I didn't normally feel whorish with a guy, but Big Jim was pushing some button deep inside me. Physically and psychologically.
"Fuck me, Jim!" I said, more assertively now. "Fuck me, Granddad."
His lips curled up and he threw more force into his thrusts. I was ready for it now. Unbelievably I was enjoying this. It was intense as hell, like it could become uncomfortable at any moment, but my ass felt alive, and I felt alive beneath this man, who was fucking for his pleasure. The lube on his cock kept my guts from clenching down too hard on his pistoning shaft, or when I did they didn't have anything to grip onto. The man was fucking me unimpeded.
I looked into his wrinkled, weathered, handsome face. Imagining how many groupies he'd nailed over the years. How easy it must have been for him to get laid in his prime. How easy it was for him now.
I didn't think a hands-free cum was a possibility for me. Maybe technically it wasn't since Big Jim's soft belly fur and belly were rubbing against my rigid cock. But I started cumming hard.
"Jim!" I exclaimed, feeling that immense pleasure rising up from deep within me.
That excited him all right. He fucked me and fucked me hard. Fast even, eager to maximize the sensations on his mature cock. "Right behind ya, kid," he grunted.
The idea he was gonna nut in me thrilled me and made another shot of cum push out of my cock.
I love watching men cum and seeing Big Jim in full orgasm was incredible. His older muscle tensing up and his voice sounding older as he cried out. Then him relaxing in tired stillness on top of me for a second before he moved his head to give me a soft kiss and pushed up to relieve the brunt of his bulk on top of me.
I felt that thickness retreat and plop out of me. I felt slutty and maybe not in a good way as Big Jim's cum ran out of my used hole. But in every other way I felt happy and satisfied. Especially seing the smile on the man's face as he rolled off and lay next to me, nudging my chin playfully.
"You were a trooper, Moneyball," he said finally.
"I don't know if I should have enjoyed that so much," I admitted.
"Why the hell not?" Big Jim challenged me.
"Long answer or short answer?" I replied.
"Let's start with the short."
"Maybe I'm a little kinkier than I realized."
Jim shrugged and leaned up, sitting back against one of the pillows. "Nothing wrong with that, fella."
I copied his move, but not before shaking out the cramps from my legs. My ass hole felt loose and wet but the new sitting position made it less exposed. "So the Granddad thing..." I didn't even know what I wanted to ask, but I knew I had to check in with Jim.
He chuckled. "Seems to get you going, buddy. It's a little weird, I guess," he added. "I mean, I have grandkids and all. But I figure this is something different altogether."
"It is," I assured him. I looked down at my body. Dick well sated, cum smeared on my belly and chest. "I'm a fricking mess."
Jim agreed. "Let's get you cleaned up, Moneyball." He slid out of bed and extended his hand to help me up. At that moment, despite being much younger I felt weaker from the sexual exhaustion. "If you have evening plans, that's cool, but I feel like I owe you a nice dinner for putting out like that."
I enjoyed this camaraderie and enjoyed the shower we shared together. A chance to soap up his mature body. A part of me worried if I should be seen in public extensively with Bowers, alone with him, but we did work together and I'm sure could come up with a reason if anyone saw us.
Then as Jim soaped me up from behind and pulled me into his sudsy wet body, that fat dong there, the one that had given me what felt like a second deflowering... I realized Big Jim was right. I was overthinking it.
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