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#however within half an hour of being there one of my grade mates passed out and had to be ambulance away
carlsonfm · 3 years
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hello  yes    ,    it’s  me  sage   again    .    2  /  2  . . . pouring   one  out  for  my  boy  roo  now  !!    meet  my  golden  mama’s  boi    ,    roo    who  is  a  newer  muse  of  mine  ,    so  pls  bare  we  me  while  i  still  figure  him  out     !
[  jack gilinsky  .  20  .  male  .  he/him  ] just saw ROOSEVELT ‘ROO’ CARLSON dragging their suitcase up the steps to BILLINGS  .  good luck living with HIM  ,  i hear that they’re DOMINEERING  ,  IMPULSIVE  ,  INTELLIGENT  &  LOYAL  .  makes sense they chose that house now  ,  doesn’t it  ?  let’s hope this new living situation doesn’t affect their JUNIOR year of BIOLOGY   [  sage  .  23  .  she/her  .  est  ]
BACKGROUND
alright  so  roosevelt  amory  carlson    ,    named  after  a  former  president    &    his  parents’  favorite  fitzgerald  character    .    (  so  yes    ,    his  name  is  just  a  little  bit  a  lot  pretentious    &    obnoxious   ) 
very  very  rarely  ever  goes  by  his  full  name    &    usually  goes  by  roo  ,  or  his  last  name.  
his  grandparents  on  both  his  parents  sides  are  pretty  wealthy    &    upper  class.  -  his  parents  actually  met  from  them  trying  to  set  them  up
dad’s  side  owns  a  big  investment  company,  and  has  stocks  in  nearly  every  market  and  his  mom’s  side  is  wrapped  up  in  big  pharma.
roo’s  parents  were  pretty  sick  of  living  that  fake  lifestyle  and  the  pressure  that  came  with  it,  so  they  made  a  big  effort  to  separate  themselves  from  roo’s  grandparents  so  that  they  could  live  the  life  they  wanted
they  pretty  much  only  see  them  on  holidays  and  birthdays
his  mom  started  off  as  a  trauma  surgeon  before  transitioning  into  a  family  doctor  so  that  she  could  have  better  hours  to  spend  time  with  her  family
his  dad  is  a  writer  and  has  yet  to  release  his  first  novel.  so  he’s  primarily  a  stay  at  home  dad  but  writes  every  chance  he  can  get
has  five  younger  sisters  that  he  is  v  protective  of
grew  up  in  connecticut  but  moved  to  california  when  he  was  15
it  took  him  awhile  to  adjust,  and  he  did  rebel  a  bit  bc  he  was  tht  angsty  teenager  that  thought  his  entire  life  was  his  friends  and  school
eventually,  after  getting  into  some  trouble  &    getting  a  wake  up  call  from  a  joy  ride  that  led  to  a  minor  car  accident    and  having  a  bunch  of  talks  with  his  parents,  he  finally  adjusted  and  got  back  on  track
took  up  football  and  made  his  way  up  to  being  captain.
was  also  president  of  his  high  school  bc  he  was  just  a  natural  born  leader,  and  was  just  v  likeable
  his  grandparents  wanted  the  best  for  their  grandchildren,  and  paid  for  roo’s  tuition.  his  grades  were  good  and  above  average,  but  with  the  competition  at  halston  he  most  likely  wouldn’t  have  gotten  in  if  it  weren’t  for  his  connections.  
PRESENT:
roo  has  been  at  halston  since  he  was  a  freshman,  made  first  string  on  the  football  team
became  captain  last  year,  which  for  a  sophomore  was  pretty  damn  good  !
last   year  his  team  mates  decided  to  prank  their  rival  team  &  vandalised  their  field  &  their  locker  rooms
 roo  wasn’t  involved  with  it  -  in  fact  they  specifically  kept  him  out  of  the  loop  because  they  knew  he’d  be  against  it  and  would  probably  talk  them  out  of  it
they  of  course  got  caught  &    roo  ended  up  taking  the  fall  for  it  to  protect  one  of  the  scholarship  students
he  had  originally  been  kicked  off  the  team  &  suspended  from  halston  but  grandpa  carlson  came  stomping  up  to  claremont  &  pulled  out  his  cheque  book  &  put  the  dean  in their  place  because  they  were not  about  to  take  away  his  grand son’ s  future  career  because  he  decided  to  color  some  grass  !!
coach  was  the  happiest  about  this  because  roo  was  simply  too  good  to  not  play  !  however  ,  he  is  benched  for  the  first  half  of  the  season  &  basically  is  being  tortured  with  having  to  be  water  boy  /   on  constant  clean  up  duty  not  only  for  the football  team  but  for  the  other  teams  as  well  .  
he   got   his   spot   into   billings  before  all  this  went  down  so  he  got  to  stay  (  shout  out  to  grandpa  carlson  for  helping  him  not  get  his  spot  revoked  !  )
PERSONALITY:
clearly  my  boi  is  loyal  to  a  fault  ,  really  big  on  family,  extremely  close  to  his  younger  sisters.  
overall  a  charming  guy,  really  good  with  his  words,  really  good  at  convincing  people,  just  could  be  a  politician  if  he  wanted  to.
not  really  good  at  commitment,  wouldn’t  cheat  on  you  if  you  were  his  girlfriend,  but  it  also  takes  a  lot  for  him  to  be  exclusive  with  someone  ...  he’s  basically  your  golden  boy  with  fuck  boy  tendencies
chaotic  good!  likes  a  good  party,  could  probably  pass  as  a  frat  boi  if  you  see  him  at  a  party
is  actually  v  smart,  even  tho  people  think  he’s  a  dumb  jock
can  randomly  play  the  flute..  and  is  the  kinda  guy  who  can  get  away  with  being  able  to  play  the  flute  lol
annoyingly  good  at  everything,  can  pick  things  up  really  easily  and  master  it  within  a  week.  --  he  once  made/sewed  his  sister  a  leather  purse  after  she  described  to  him  in  detail  what  it  looked  like  and  complained  about  not  being  able  to  find  one  like  it  anywhere
10/10  will    get  into  fights  for  the  people  he  cares  about
says  ‘fuck’  a  lot,  said  it  so  much  that  it  was  one  of  his  younger  sister’s  first  words  :)
honestly  this  is  all  i  got  for  now...  if  you  made  it  this  far  u  deserve  an  award
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dixielis · 4 years
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An Interesting Turn of Events [1/?]
Pairing: Jotaro Kujo x Noriaki Kakyoin Summary:  There were three things Jotaro Joestar was completely certain about: One. 80’s rock was the be-all end-all of music. Two. The movie Jaws wrongly portrayed sharks as evil and blood-thirsty, and he did not stand for it at all. Three. Being an alpha while also part of the Joestar-lineage was an absolute curse. Warnings: Omegaverse with omega!Kakyoin and alpha!Jotaro Mature content might happen in later chapters Irregular updates (sorry) A/N: I’ve decided to put this fic on tumblr as well, enjoy!
Read on Ao3 here: LINK
There were three things Jotaro Joestar was completely certain about:
One. 80’s rock was the be-all end-all of music.
Two. The movie Jaws wrongly portrayed sharks as evil and blood-thirsty, and he did not stand for it at all.
Three. Being an alpha while also part of the Joestar-lineage was an absolute curse.
Jotaro was well aware of the fact that he probably didn’t really have any right to complain. Not when his biggest problems stemmed from his 195-centimetre stature, and his otherwise strong physique. Or more precisely, his problems stemmed from the reactions of the people around him, which were mainly caused by said physique.
But whenever he would complain about it to any of his brothers he would always get the same three responses.
“Jotaro, there are people that are dying” Jonathan would remind him.
“Being hot is our god given gift, and our purpose is to fill the hearts of everyone around us with envy or desire!” Joseph would tell him.
“It’s not that bad, maybe you’re just getting too old to handle it” Josuke would scoff at him.
Jotaro could only glare at each of them in return.
Jonathan had settled down with his Omega, Erina, when they were just 16. He had therefore been able to avoid the majority of the harassment that came of being a Joestar alpha. His opinion was therefore irrelevant
Joseph instead absolutely loved the attention that came with being a Joestar-alpha. Although he would never date any of the people clinging to his arms, he had found many great uses of them. Like getting free homemade lunches every day, or having his homework done for him at times. And being one of the most well-known and talked about in all of their high school wasn’t something that he was complaining about either. Joseph’s opinion was thus irrelevant as well.
Josuke, on the other hand, had yet to even start high school. He had therefore yet to experience the hell that it could be. When he would finally start high school next year, Jotaro would only laugh at the grief it would without a doubt bring him. So for now, Josuke’s opinion was just as irrelevant as those of Jonathan and Joseph.
When in school Jotaro would always make sure to cherish his half an hour lunch break as well as he possibly could. It was the one time of the day where he could slip away from the constant stream of alphas, betas and omegas, that were for one reason or another trying to grab his attention. Weather it was practically every beta and omega within the walls of his high school, desperately throwing themselves at him, or aggressive alphas who didn’t like that he was hogging all the attention.
Hogging was however not a great word to explain how Jotaro felt about the whole situation, since it implied that he was doing it on purpose. He would be more than willing get rid of the overwhelming attention given to him by said betas and omegas. No amount of shouting or threatening had however worked to get them of his back. If anything it had only made it worse, since it was a way of displaying dominance. So he had no choice but to accept this as just another part of his everyday life. To accept to be followed around, grabbed and practically drooled over for five and a half hours a day, five days a week.
The lunch break was thus the time of day Jotaro looked forward to the most. He was able to become fully anonymous when his classmates would be moving about in their friend groups while chatting loudly. Jotaro would be able to sneak past everyone in the room, and quickly make his way towards the roof, which was the one sacred spot nobody would ever follow him. Partially because it was against school rules, and partially because of the locked door that guarded it.
Luckily there were a total of five students who were allowed the keys to all school doors- the prefects. Four of these students had already been scared off by Jotaro enough to not even considering entering the area, and the final one was Muhammad Avdol. Avdol was a part of Jotaro’s closest group of friends, and he luckily understood and sympathized with what Jotaro had to put up with on a daily basis. Which is how the roof had ended up being their go to lunch spot.
Jotaro quickly made his way up the staircase leading to the roof, now standing outside of said locked door. He knocked on it, three fast ones followed by four slow ones. Their secret code that only he, Avdol, and Polnareff knew of. Polnareff had originally wanted their secret knock to be an exact rendition of the first ten seconds of the French national anthem. This idea had however quickly been scrapped, since Polnareff would be furious whenever Jotaro would have just one of the knocks be off by one tenth of a second. So they had instead settled on the slightly easier three fast four slow system.
The door swung open, revealing Avdol grinning down at him, Polnareff standing just behind with a similar expression.
“What took you so long, Joestar? Avdol and I were beginning to think you had stood us up for somebody else” Polnareff said, moving aside as Jotaro walked past him. The three of them started making their way over to their usual corner, which was always out of the early autumn sun’s unforgivingly hot rays.
“Yeah, we thought you might have finally given up and taken one of those people clinging to you on a date” Avdol added, letting out a brisk laugh.
“Ew” Jotaro replied immediately, which made Polnareff laugh as well.
“Don’t be like that” the Frenchman continued. “I would gladly exchange places with you, I wouldn’t mind getting in on some of that omega action”
“Just yesterday you were complaining that you didn’t have an alpha”
“That’s the best part about being a beta, I get the best of both worlds. Or are you maybe disappointed that you didn’t get a chance to get a piece of this, Avdol?” Polnareff replied and flexed one of his arms, kissing the bulging bicep. Jotaro let out an amused snort at this.
“Are you implying that the offer is not on the table anymore?” Avdol asked, pretending to be offended. “How could you do this to me, Jean-Jierre Jealnareff? He finished in an overexaggerated French accent, while clutching at his heart dramatically.
Jotaro took a seat on the ground, leaning his back towards the wall behind him and fishing his lunchbox out of his bag. After a few moments of Polnareff swatting at Avdol with a magazine, the two of them finally settled down next to him.
“All this constant talk of courting is starting to stress me out” Avdol confessed. “We’re almost eighteen, and all of us are still single. Isn’t it time for us to start thinking about settling down with someone soon?”
“I am thinking about it, I just haven’t found anyone to do it with yet” Polnareff replied and folded his arms behind his head. “Besides, we are all still young and beautiful, I’m not in a rush”
“sixty percent of people have already found their mate by the time they turn eighteen” Avdol commented. Jotaro silently scoffed at this. It seemed like even Avdol had managed to catch the ‘mate fever’ that it always felt like was going around the school.
“So what if we’re in the remaining forty percent?” Polnareff replied, waving his fork at Avdol. “If all goes to hell we could just all get mated to each other”. At this both Jotaro and Avdol let out an audible chuckle.
“I honestly think I’d rather stay alone for the rest of my life” Jotaro said, his voice serious but with a slight smile playing on his lips.
“Ditto” Avdol agreed. “You’re on your own, Polnareff”. Polnareff pretended to be hurt by this, but a bright smile was also evident on his own face. Shortly afterwards their conversations shifted elsewhere, their earlier talk of mating soon to be forgotten.
***************
Jotaro’s sacred half hour ended up passing way too quickly, as it always did. The school bell rang, signalling that classes would begin in just a few minutes. The three boys quickly gathered their things and made their way down from the rooftop. Jotaro looked over his schedule. His next class would apparently be biology. It was one of his favourite subjects, and when he graduated in a couple of years he had plans of working towards becoming a marine biologist.
He said his goodbyes to Polnareff and Avdol, each of them going off in a different direction. A second bell went off, signalling the start of class. Jotaro raised his speed and ducked into the noisy classroom. He was as usual greeted by a choir of “Jojo” as he made his way towards the back of the classroom. He opted for ignoring them as he normally did.
He had just taken his usual seat by the window in the very back row when the teacher emerged. She immediately started explaining that todays lesson would introduce a new two-week long assignment. That would be made in groups of four.
Jotaro’s stomach immediately dropped. He hated groupwork for several reasons. First of all, most people in his class didn’t give two shits about their grades, while Jotaro always strived towards getting the highest grade he could in biology, as he would need it after he graduated. Second of all, he didn’t really know anyone in the class. He did spend most of his time trying to avoid everyone after all.
He noticed that several omega females in the front of the class had turned toward him, trying to make eye contact. Jotaro refused to meet their eyes, instead focusing on the teacher explaining the subject matter of the assignment at hand. As soon as she finished the girls hurried over to Jotaro’s seat.
“Hey Jojo, you want to be in my group?”
“Jojo, we have a spot saved for you!”
“He won’t be in your group he’s gonna be with me”
“Why would Jojo join your group when he could join our?”
“Jojo I’ll do anything you want, please choose me!”
“My dad is really rich, I can pay you to be in my group!”
“SHUT UP!” Jotaro yelled out, finally having had enough of their endless bickering. The girls however didn’t quiet down, but they did eventually form their own groups, leaving him alone. Guess they didn’t want to get stuck with people they didn’t want to work with, since they already knew that Jotaro would reject all their propositions. Jotaro let out an inaudible sigh and looked around the class. It looked like most people had already gathered into groups of four, only a few people remaining in their original seats.
“Could anyone that doesn’t already have a group please join up by the cabinets in the back?” their teacher announced loudly, trying to speak up over the loud buzz coming from the students.
Jotaro got up reluctantly and threw his bag over his shoulder, making his way over to the opposite side of the room. Three other students were already seated there, already seemingly deep in conversation. Jotaro sat down in the closest available seat, tuning in to the ongoing chatter coming from an obnoxious sounding alpha that was sitting in front of him.
“Me and my family actually have our own private island of the coast of Italy. Or was it maybe Spain? Possibly France? Anyhow, it has a whole private mansion that is both sound- and scent-proof, perfect for taking some time off during a heat”. The alpha said, his voice practically dripping with suggestion. He was sitting next to a red headed omega Jotaro hadn’t seen before, heavily leaning into him and clearly trying to tower over him.
Great, Jotaro thought to himself. Not only did he end up in the same group as someone who obviously gave zero fucks about the assignment, but he also had to be an absolute creep. Jotaro recognizes the alpha as one of the spoiled delinquents that are constantly side eyeing him for no apparent reason.
The omega he is practically drooling over looks very uncomfortable at the alpha’s suggestions, clearly trying to lean away from him. The alpha does however not seem to get the hint, and keeps on leaning even closer. Or perhaps he simply doesn’t give two shits about how uncomfortable the other is. He certainly seems like the type to completely disregard anyone’s feelings as long as he gets what he wants.
“I don’t think so, dude” The omega lets out in a clearly disinterested way. Jotaro notices that he shifts his arm so that his elbow is now pressing down on the alpha’s fingers, which are resting on his own desk. The alpha lets out a grunt and quickly retracts his hand. His face is however still adorned with a disgustingly mischievous smirk.
“I don’t even know your name, and you-“
“It’s Trent, sweetheart. I’m co-captain of the football team and I have a six inch-“
“Could we actually get on with the assignment? I would rather not be stuck here for the rest of the evening” The female beta luckily interrupted him, looking bored about the whole exchange. The alpha scoffs but lets up on the omega, whose shoulders instantly relax considerably.
The assignment consists of them producing two reports on two different species, one aquatic and one terrestrial. The beta, Jotaro believes that her name is Mia, quickly takes charge and decides that it would be most efficient if they pair up two and two.
“I can write about either group. Does anyone have any particular preference?” Mia asked and looked around at the rest of the group expectantly. Jotaro cleared his throat.
“I’d prefer to be on aquatic” He said. Better to be safe and immediately claim one of the spots for himself.
“I’m on the land-thingy then!” Trent says immediately afterwards, clearly not looking to be in the same group as Jotaro. Jotaro is immensely thankful for this, as there are few people in the world that he'd want to work with less than this asshole.
“Great, how about you?” Mia asked as she turned towards the omega. Jotaro noticed that Trent’s hand had returned to his desk, dangerously close to grabbing a hold of his wrist. It was clear that he was suggesting that the omega should join him.
“Well, my dad happens to be a marine biologist, so I am quite familiar with the subject” The red head answered quickly. Jotaro’s eyes immediately shoot over to look at him, and their eyes lock for a brief second.
Jotaro doesn’t think he has ever seen anyone with such bright eyes before. They almost look purple under the bright classroom lights.
They omega quickly averted his gaze back towards Mia. His cheeks had however turned slightly pink in colour. Jotaro now instead finds himself eyeing the boy’s… interesting hairstyle, which was made up of a long, wavy bang in his otherwise seemingly straight, short cut hair. Jotaro quickly decides that the hair strangely suits him. The pinkish red hue of it perfectly matching with the earrings hanging from the boy’s ears. Jotaro squints his eyes a little. Are those cherries? Is he actually walking around with depictions of cherries hanging from his ears?
Jotaro was suddenly pulled out of his own thoughts as Mia spoke up again, confirming their decided groupings.
“We can meet up in a few days to see how far we’ve all gotten” she stated as she threw her backpack over her shoulder. “Let’s go find a room to work in, Trent”. Trent muttered something under his breath but withdrew his hand from the omega’s desk. He gave Jotaro one final, long glare, before finally getting up and following her towards the door. Both Jotaro and the omega turn to watch him until he turns around the corner and disappears from their line of sight. Jotaro turned his eyes toward the red head instead. He could see him mutter something under his breath as absently played with the spine of his notebook.            
Jotaro realizes that he still doesn’t know the others name. He opens his mouth to ask but is interrupted before he has the chance to say anything.
“We should probably get going as well?” it came out more as a question than a suggestion, but Jotaro only grunted in response before quickly standing up and heading towards the classroom door. He could hear quick footsteps behind him trying to catch up with his long strides. As he walks past one of the girl groups at the front of the class he could hear low mutterings and a few jealous remarks coming from them, as would be expected. Jotaro simply ignores them and steps out into the corridor. He turns to look at the omega behind him, confirming that he is indeed following him.
“There are usually some available rooms at the end of the hall. Let’s go there”. Before the other has a chance to respond Jotaro started making his way down the hall. A second set of footsteps quickly picks up behind him again.
They make their way down the hall in silence. Luckily one of the rooms is indeed empty. Not that it would have been a problem if it wasn’t, as Jotaro could easily have made and eventual dwellers leave with a single glare. Jotaro puts down all of his stuff on one of the desks as the front, taking out some of his textbooks. The omega sits down right across from him. He begins to tap idly at the desk.
“So” the omega said. Jotaro gives him a quick look over, before returning his attention towards the book he’s currently flipping through. Another few moments of awkward silence pass.
“Jojo, was it? I believe that girl called you that?” he spoke with a hint of uncertainty lining his voice.
“It’s Jotaro” Jotaro replied. “Jojo is just a stupid nickname they keep using for some reason”. At this the other boy let’s out a nervous laugh.
“I see”
He gives Jotaro a tentative smile and pulls his fingers through his hair. Jotaro notices that it looks exceptionally soft. He probably uses conditioner and some fancy hair products. Probably ones that smell sweet and fruity.
“I’m Noriaki Kakyoin by the way, but please call me Kakyoin. I just transferred here a few days ago so I don’t believe we’ve met”
Jotaro meets his eyes again, finally having a name to put with his face. Kakyoin smiled politely at him, his eyes crinkling a bit at the corners as he does so. Jotaro is once again transfixed at the colour of  them. They look even more purple in this more natural lighting as opposed to the bright lights of the classroom. There is a sense of gentleness just beneath the surface of them, as opposed to the obvious lust and want that most omegas regard Jotaro with. It is a nice welcomed change that Jotaro does not mind one bit.
“I do believe I’ve heard your name in passing before” Kakyoin continued thoughtfully. “Some people were discussing the time you supposedly managed to smuggle two bottles of tequila into school by hiding them in your shirt?” It comes out more as a question and Kakyoin looks at him expectantly.
“Wasn’t me, was my brother Joseph” Jotaro replies, hiding his eyes behind the brim of his cap. Of course he has already heard of his brother’s stupid misdemeanours. And of course said misdemeanours are affiliated with Jotaro as well.
“He also called Jojo?”
“Both me and all of my three brothers are called that”
At this Kakyoin let’s out a laugh and Jotaro looks up at him again.
“I also heard a rumour that you were getting married, I’m guessing that’s one of your brothers as well?”
“Yeah, that’s Jonathan”
Kakyoin hums thoughtfully. Silence falls between them as Kakyoin leans down to take out his own books. He stacks them up in a neat pile, and Jotaro watches as he opens up a page in a notebook. The page is packed with a mixture of notes from classes as well as bunch of smaller doodles. Mostly of cats and cherries from what Jotaro can tell.
“So, Jotaro” Kakyoin started off and Jotaro is abruptly ripped away from his own thoughts. His eyes fly up from the notebook to meet Kakyoin’s, who is already looking at him, resting his chin on the palm of his hand.
“You have any suggestions of what we could write about? Judging by your notebook I’m guessing that you might have at least a couple of ideas” Kakyoin lets out a slight chuckle and gestures toward one of Jotaro’s notebooks, that are messily scattered in front of him. Jotaro doesn’t even have to look down to know that he means the one whose cover is full of scribbles of various breeds of dolphins, starfish, and with the occasional salt water fish thrown in there. He can feel his face heating up. Kakyoin has a slight teasing grin on his lips. Jotaro retaliates by letting his eyes flash to red for just a moment, and watches as Kakyoin twitches backwards a bit.
“Point taken, I won’t try to make fun of your little fishy-friends” Kakyoin said jokingly as he throws his hands up in the air, while turning his head to the side in submission to expose a bit of his neck. A beautifully pale and elongated neck. That does not have any signs of a bonding mark on it. Jotaro quickly averts his eyes, trying to focus his brain on the topic at hand.
“Don’t make fun of starfish, they are cooler than you would think” Jotaro said with a slight furrow in his brows. He doesn’t miss the way Kakyoin hides his smile behind one of his hands.
“What kind of marine life does your dad work with? we could write about something like that if you’d like” Jotaro offers up. Kakyoin’s smile immediately drops.
“Oh” he replied, the playfulness of their precious conversation suddenly gone. Kakyoin goes to scratch at the back of his neck, seemingly thinking his next words over.
“You see, my dad’s not actually a marine biologist. I might have just made that up so I didn’t end up in the same group as that ‘I-have-a-house-in-Spain-where-nobody-can-hear-you-scream’ guy. He came off as insanely creepy and even though you’re really tall and intimidating and all that I took a gamble that you couldn’t possibly be worse than him”. Kakyoin’s voice trails off, his hands moving restlessly over the desk.
Jotaro ponders over his words for a moment. Having people clinging to you against your will was something he was more than familiar with. But in his own case he knew that he wouldn’t have any trouble stopping anyone who went too far. In Kakyoin’s case this might be different. Manipulative alphas had their own ways of making an omega submit to them, by using the omega’s own biology against them. Forced bonding by simply bite-marking an omega’s neck was still something that happened all too often throughout the world. And although the alpha’s bite would not be permanent unless the omega wished for it to be, the omega would still develop feelings of compassion toward the Alpha until the marks had completely faded.
“I can’t really blame you about that” Jotaro said and gives a slight shrug. The tightness in Kakyoin’s shoulder visibly loosen at his response.
“I’m guessing from the reactions of some of the people in our class that you might experience similar things a lot as well?”
Jotaro nodded.
“I’ve got cursed genes. It’s something that both me and all my brothers have to deal with” Kakyoin let’s out a bright laugh and Jotaro gives him a small smile in return.
“What, is it a gene that causes you to be all tall, dark and handsome or what not?” Kakyoin seems to regret the words as soon as he has said them out loud, and he tilts his head downwards so that the wavy piece of hair covers his face.
“Pretty much” Jotaro replied, smirking slightly before quickly changing the subject. “So I’m thinking starfish”
Kakyoin’s head re-emerged from behind his hair, a confused look evident on his face.
“Starfish?”
“For the project”
“Oh! Right” Kakyoin exclaimed. “Why starfish though?”
“They have a lot of really neat features that most people don’t really know about. Like how their arms all actually have hundreds of little feet that they move around with. Or that they can even regenerate their own arms, but it can take everything from a few months up to years to do so”. Jotaro finds himself to be practically rambling, which is something that only tends to happen when he gets the chance to talk to someone about marine life. Kakyoin is still looking right at him, like he is expecting him to continue. Jotaro cleared his throat.
“And, that’s about it. I guess” his voice close to being a mumble.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve got it all figured out then” Kakyoin said and let out a huff of laughter. “How about we get started then?”. Jotaro just grunts in response.
They both start skimming through their textbooks, writing down the page numbers of anything that could be of interest in Kakyoin’s overly-doodled notebook. Kakyoin draws a little symbol next to each number, and Jotaro thinks that it is so cute that he has to turn away and gather his thoughts for a moment.
They keep working until they are suddenly interrupted by the bell going off, signalling the end of class. The sudden noise making both of them jump.
“We could meet up some time tomorrow to continue, if you have time?” Kakyoin suggested, standing up and packing all his belongings into his bag.
“Maybe during lunch, if you want to” Jotaro answered.
“Sure thing!” Kakyoin said as he adjusted his bag strap over his shoulder “I got to run now, my next class is on the complete other side of campus”. He raised his hand at Jotaro, giving him another one of those eye crinkling smiles.
“Mm, see you later” Jotaro responded, and Kakyoin was out the door. Jotaro lets out a breath that he didn’t even realize that he was holding in. He gathered all his stuff into his own bag.
Just as he stands up, he realizes that he for the first time in his life had made plans with someone other than Avdol and Polnareff for lunch.
And in all honesty, he didn’t mind the idea of spending it alone with Kakyoin one bit.
Well, this day had certainly turned out to be interesting.
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sophieraven85 · 6 years
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Phil’s first crush, a Phan story (Chapter 1)
(AN: I know that Dan's living arrangements and other aspects of them meeting isn’t all accurate. Please don’t hate me for the plot convenience. Also, please be respectful of how I wrote Phil as Demisexual/romantic. Thanks and enjoy!)
Dan was in love, and this was a problem. It wasn’t the actually being in love part that was the problem, that was wonderful, it was more the who. Daniel Howell was madly in love with his high key Demiromantic and Demisexual internet friend Philip Lester. Dan knew that he himself was pan, he knew that Phil was gay. Dan knew that Phil liked him, in fact he liked him very much, but only as a friend. Phil had talked about his sexuality on Skype and Dan knew he and Phil were in no way close enough for him to open up to him romantically. Phil was funny, they liked the same T.V. shows and take out food, they were even both Youtubers since Phil had convinced Dan to make a channel and given him editing tips. They were similar, but still different enough that Dan just knew they would be perfect together. Phil thought Dan was a great friend and could even imagine being in a relationship with him, but these thoughts were purely objective. Dating Dan wasn’t something he would ever long for until he was much closer to him. He had enough trouble talking to Dan about his personal life seeing as they hadn’t even met in person yet. Phil had trust issues but he didn’t think this correlated to his sexuality. He hadn’t ever been interested in dating people before that night at university, however that had made him more wary of people online. This made his relationship with Dan much more special to the both of them. He always had trouble believing it when Dan would spend time telling him over and over that he care about him and wasn’t going to leave. Phil was excited to meet Dan in person, something they had been discussing more and more lately. Phil would pack a suitcase, hop on a train, and Dan would pick him up at the station. They would pick up Chinese food, go back to Dan’s flat, and Phil would sleep on the couch. Phil was a huge planner, new situations made him super nervous so he always liked to make an agenda, know what he would eat, where he would spend his time, where he would sleep. Dan knew this and made sure whenever they discussed meeting that Phil felt comfortable with the arrangements. Dan did this because he knew Phil, he understood, he always understood.
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A few weeks later Phil was on a train headed to the train station closest to his flat outside the university he attended.Dan was pacing the platform, waiting with baited breath for the train Phil was on to arrive. Finally, the locomotive came to a screeching halt and Dan rushed down to the second to last compartment, the one he knew Phil would be sitting in and watched out for the pale yellow sweatshirt that he knew Phil would be wearing. When he and Phil finally made eye contact, it was all he could do not to sprint over and hug him. He didn’t have to hold out for long however, because Phil ran over and pulled Dan’s chest tightly to his own. He rested his head in the crook of his neck and whispered “It’s so good to see you” Dan, still slightly shocked by Phil’s boldness, held his friend for a second before pulling away and responding “It’s really good to see you too Phil.” He grabbed Phil’s suitcase, Phil adjusted his backpack, and they were off to the nearest tube station. Dan and Phil finally ended up at the tube station next to Dan’s flat, where Dan awkwardly pulled the suitcase up two flights of stairs, declining Phil’s offers to help. When Dan had unlocked the door and Phil had walked in he just paused and looked around. Dan’s flat was a little small, but homey and covered in art from his fans. Dan asked him if he’d like a tour and Phil immediately accepted. Dan, without thinking, reached for Phil’s hand. Phil pulled back and they stared at each other for a second, both shocked and apologetic before speaking over each other in their rush to apologize. Dan stared at Phil for another moment before speaking. “Sorry mate, just.. uh.. follow me.” Dan showed him around, the lounge, kitchen, bathroom, and finally his bedroom. Dan walked in and Phil lingered in the doorway, shifting his feet nervously. Dan, noticing how uncomfortable Phil was becoming, suggested they go get food. Phil was extremely relieved and they left on the way to Dan’s favorite Chinese restaurant for takeout. After picking up the food they headed back to Dan’s place, turned on their favorite anime, and dug in to their garlic chicken and egg rolls. At around midnight Dan and Phil agreed that they should probably go to sleep. Dan brought Phil a pillow and blanket and asked if he needed anything else before heading to his bedroom and closing the door.   The next morning they rolled out of bed at ten and ate some cereal. They sat on the couch in silence for a moment before Dan turned to Phil and spoke. “Phil, I’m really sorry for trying to hold your hand yesterday. I just want you to know that it wasn’t supposed to be romantic or any thing like that.” Dan was blushing furiously but continued. “I’m just pretty touchy feely and didn’t think before reaching for you.” Phil stared at Dan with happiness at how much his friend cared for him. He generally was a pretty cuddly guy, he just didn’t realize Dan was too and really didn’t like romantic situations with people he didn’t know extremely well. He explained this all to Dan who cheered up when he realized he could touch Phil and wouldn’t hurt him. He pulled Phil into his arms who gladly accepted and rested against Dan’s chest. They sat like this for a while just watching anime and talking and Dan realized that he wasn’t bothered by the lack of romance, despite his giant crush. He was starting to understand Phil better and really enjoyed the comfort of having his friend there.
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A week later Phil was home, Dan was alone, and both were very sad. Phil was getting closer to Dan, in fact they were very close. They had spent nine days straight together, as Dan had spring break, and Phil was starting to really open up to him. He knew Dan was someone special when he realized that they were getting really close, really fast. They had clicked and were best friends. They had Skype calls every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evening, and every night on the weekend. The Skype sessions quickly became the highlights of both of their weeks, but the time they didn’t spend talking was becoming worse and worse. Dan was slacking off even more and his grades showed it, and Phil wasn’t his happy self. Well, he wasn’t himself unless he was talking to Dan. A month or two later Phil was back at the train station in Manchester wrapped in Dan’s strong arms. Phil was silently crying and when Dan noticed he immediately pulled away, asking what was wrong. “No, no no Dan I’m.. I’m fine. It’s just so so good to see you. I’ve really missed my best friend.” Dan smiled widely and rubbed Phil’s shoulder. “I’ve missed you too Phil, I really have.” Phil grabbed Dan’s wrist and they rushed off to the tube. By the time they had picked up the Chinese and arrived back at Dan’s flat, Phil was grinning. He was so fantastically happy to finally see Dan again that the smile plastered to his face just couldn’t seem to fade. Dan looked at Phil ecstatic face and smiled too, and within a few minutes the pair was giggling like a couple of idiots. They sat down to enjoy their food and a nice anime. As soon as they were done Dan jumped up and brought out his laptop to show Phil a video of a cat attacking his reflection as he knew it would make Phil laugh, Dan would do anything to hear that laugh. After almost an hour of watching cat videos the pair realized it was half past twelve and they better get to sleep, so Dan brought Phil a pillow and blanket and they both passed out, not to wake up for almost ten hours. Dan woke up early and decided that he was going to make breakfast for him and Phil, a full English. Well he would make beans, eggs, toast, sausage, he thought he had some tomatoes. He scrapped together the best fry up that he could and was just finishing up the tea for him and coffee for Phil when Phil walked in from the lounge. “Dan, what are you doing? We could have just had cereal.” “No Phil, really it was my pleasure. It’s not much but It’s what I had and better than cereal” Phil smiled and came up behind Dan, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and gave them a little squeeze. “It’s perfect Dan, thanks a ton.” Dan set the plates on the breakfast bar and Phil grabbed the drinks. They sat and had a quiet little breakfast, enjoying each others company. After breakfast they just sat in the lounge, basking in awkward silence until Dan decided to suggest an anime. They watched a couple of episodes of Food Wars. Phil decided to conduct an experiment. He knew that Dan was compatible with him, he just wasn’t interested. He didn’t feel a romantic connection, at least not yet. But something peculiar was happening, he was starting to see Dan as attractive. He was also starting to imaging being in a relationship with him more and more. They were both clingy, Phil had been this way with other close friends, but with Dan he could feel something that could possibly, one day, morph into romantic feelings. The first time he will have ever experienced this. The first time he will have ever felt that deep, longing ache to be in a relationship with someone. He might soon have his first crush, a crush on Daniel Howell.
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illumlne-blog · 7 years
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I have answered a rather long questionnaire on myself and though some of the questions are rather intrusive, I answered them to the best of my abilities.
What is your full name?
My name is Rose Lalonde.
Where and when were you born?
December 4th 1995. My meteor crashed into Rainbow Falls, New York.
Who are/were your parents?
I had a mother but she passed on. Ecto parents are a different scenario all together.
Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
No. Except for Dearest Darling David.
Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.
What is your occupation?
Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.
I have only recently turned 21. My physique could be admirably described as Chubby. Most of my dresses are black, and my hair is styled into a blond pixie cut. I have yet to derogate my skin with any pigment but I do have a piercing. I’ll let you ponder where.
To which social class do you belong?
I used to think I was an Atheist ‘till I realized I’m a God.
Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
A very limited form of Lactose Intolerance and a terrible case of Spring Fever. Nothing life threatening.
Are you right- or left-handed?
Oh, how I wish I could say Ambidextrous, but rather Right handed.
What does your voice sound like?
Like a poorly trained Shakespearean actor. Or in other words, far too loud.
What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?
I see. How does that make you feel? Now, let’s talk about your mother.
What do you have in your pockets?
My dress doesn’t have pockets. I usually have a vast array of goofy gadgets and unique combinations in my sylladex.
Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
I have been advised that my leg bouncing is not in fact normal. I tend to chew on things often, and if I hear another “Oral Fixation” joke I will not hesitate to kill.
Part 2: Growing Up
How would you describe your childhood in general?
A deadly and despicable game of one-upsmanship with a cold uncaring shrew. My memories of this might be a bit twisted.
What is your earliest memory?
I remember Jasper’s funeral. We stood in the rain for an hour while mother sobbed crocodile tears in a bizarre show of power.
How much schooling have you had?
Before the game, I was top of my class, but that was grade 8 and I have not done much since. It is a wonder I am still functioning.
Did you enjoy school?
I don’t remember it well. I was rather elitist back then and treated my classmates as lesser. There was a reason all of my friends are online.
Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?
Most of my life skills come from either ancient tomes or being involved in life or death scenarios. A healthy childhood leading to a well-rounded adulthood.
While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.
Most of my role models could be found within the dusty pages of the Grimoire of the Zoologically Dubious. To put it simply, I do not look up to them any longer.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A psychoanalyst. Freud was a moron.
As a child, what were your favorite activities?
I took up knitting for a short while. It has been sometime since my needles were used for this intended purpose. I enjoyed reading, always fascinated by Purple Prose. “It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing”
As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?
All of the common ones for a child my age. Smart, quick witted, a deep fascination with the occult, funny.
As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?
Was I popular in school? Not quite. Was I popular online? More so, but still not quite.
When and with whom was your first kiss?
I met a childhood friend for the first time in person. Her lips were warm while the chill
Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
Virginity is a social construct I firmly do not believe in.
If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.
I became a god upon death. Not a thrilling story but it’s not one I remember all too well. I plan to shape the new world into my vision. One with less sports.
Part 3: Past Influences
What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
The day the Beta was released. The longest day I have ever experienced.
Who has had the most influence on you?
My dearest friends. Without them I would be nothing more than a scared child. Don’t tell Dave I admitted this.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I have done many things, but I firmly believe the best is in front of me.
What is your greatest regret?
I regret ever listening to their words in the first place.
What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
Evil is subjective.
Do you have a criminal record of any kind?
No. I am a good little girl.
When was the time you were the most frightened?
Blood leaking from my stomach, my soul perched on the edge of my body, just screaming to escape. If it weren’t for that bed, I would be doomed.
What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?
Nothing embarrassing that happens to me shall ever be recorded.
If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
If you remain focused on the past you can never see what’s in front of you. I have made many mistakes but I would not go back and change a thing. I am who I am and that is all I shall ever be.
What is your best memory?
My breath visible as it floated on the cold winter air. Her features remain ever present in my memory. My lips were chapped but hers were not. I’ll never forget the scent surrounding her.
What is your worst memory?
I fell down the stairs once and Dave witnessed. We both know which reference in particular was spouted at me for an eternity and a half.
Part 4: Beliefs and Opinions
Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
It is hard to be a downer when one can see the future. Though I thrive in the darkness, I know better than anyone that some sparks will never be snuffed out.
What is your greatest fear?
The unknown.
What are your religious views?
Me
What are your political views?
No gods, No Kings, only Me.
What are your views on sex?
I neither seek it out nor condone the act. It doesn’t weigh heavily on my mind.
Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
I have killed and will likely kill again.
In your opinion, what is the evilest thing any human being could do?
Mankind has committed many atrocities, some too terrible to name but there is a special spot in the deepest pits of Tartarus for those who commit sexual assault in my eyes.
Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
While I do not personally believe that anything is set in stone, I would be lying if I claimed that I didn’t buy into the hype. It’s nice to think there is someone perfect out there for me.
What do you believe makes a successful life?
I want to be something to someone. I’ll make a name for myself no matter what.
How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
Emotions are complicated beast. My methodology for dealing with them is writing them out in private or avoiding them all together. Not the most effective strategy but I never claimed to be well-rounded.
Do you have any biases or prejudices?
Not as far as I know. I would like to think I am an open-minded person. However, everyone has their blind spots.
Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
This is a loaded question. There is probably plenty I would not do.
Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
I’ve never considered it. Anyone I hold dear would be under my protection. Although I don’t think I will be dying again anytime soon.
Part 5: Relationships With Others
In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?
I am described as Flighty Broad for a reason. I tend to keep people at an arm’s length. Trust is hard earned and well deserved.
Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
I do not like placing that load upon one individual. There are several.
Who is the person you respect the most, and why?
See previous question.
Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.
I have three close friends. Three others that helped me survive the game. I would place the mantle of best friend on Jade to be fair. She’s always been a guiding light and anyone reading these answers might have gathered that. Dave and John are two unfathomably dorky people but I can vouch for them.
Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.
No I do not.
Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
Love is just a chemical reaction in your brain.
What do you look for in a potential lover?
This questionnaire is growing boring. I do not have an exact answer as of right now. I’ll let you know when she comes into my life.
How close are you to your family?
Dave is my only family. The best brother a sister could ask for. Surprisingly easy to beat at nearly any game.
Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
Any of my three friends. Depends on whoever is easier to contact in the given moment.
Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
Well Dave is a Knight. Is this good enough for you? I am not a mere damsel in distress.
If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
Now that is just cold. Have I mentioned my friends yet?
Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
Those trolls from during the game were frustrating.
Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
I was always told to pick my battles and I am picking all of them.
Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
You would be daft to ignore my oversight.
Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?
Not overly. Normal people scare me.
Do you care what others think of you?
It holds a grip on my every waking thought.
Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
I should take up knitting again. I do have a penchant for video games, though that is what got me into this mess. I play violin occasionally, not professionally. It’s hard to say. Mostly whatever keeps me entertained from day to day.
What is your most treasured possession?
Now this is a tough choice. Most likely my Thorns of Oglogoth.
What is your favorite color?
Black
What is your favorite food?
I have a passion for Italian food. This is likely just a current fascination.
What, if anything, do you like to read?
Haha, Oh man.
What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?
All forms of media can be an art form. Just because there is a bad movie or bad painting does not discredit the medium. I enjoy many things and am not one to shut down anything at first glance.
Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?
No.
How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
I mostly stay home. Though Saturday is the same as any other day for me.
What makes you laugh?
Schadenfreude.
What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
The best cure to insomnia is to try and sleep regardless. Tossing and turning in bed is better for you than staring at a phone. Though while trying to sleep, I do tend to travel through alternate versions of the day’s activities.
How do you deal with stress?
Very poorly. It has been a few years since I last had anything to worry about and not knowing something always worries me.
Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
With me there is very little difference.
What are your pet peeves?
Care for a comprehensive list?
Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?
My life is a miasma of mistakes and very little routine.
What is your greatest strength as a person?
I would say it’s my wit and cunning charm.
What is your greatest weakness?
I can be quite selfish and a bit abrasive in the wrong circumstances.
Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
I would say Introverted. It’s tricky but I definitely prefer being alone more often than not.
Are you generally organized or messy?
The latter. I am a mess but a controlled mess.
Do you like yourself?
Yes. To an extent.
What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons...)
I do what I do because I must. Noone else will.
What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
I want to ensure everyone in the world knows Freud was a moron.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Sitting on a beach by the ocean. A huge black umbrella protecting me from the sun.
If you could choose, how would you want to die?
I would die protecting those I cared about.
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I graduated last night! I am officially not a highschooler!
#it was so chaotic and im so tired#bc after diplomas we had like a parade which was neat but also it was windy and cold#and we had project grad which is basically an all night party kinda thing#however within half an hour of being there one of my grade mates passed out and had to be ambulance away#so we played blacklight volleyball which escalated#and we did trivia which was pretty neat but also slow so i nearly fell asleep#but my team nearly won#so theres that#they had like fancy food#like when rich ppl get tiny portions of shitty food and call it gormet#thats what it was like which kinda sucked#and at like 1 most of the entertainment left so we spent the next 4 hours in the hot tub/pool#we had to turn of the jets kuz we had just been inhaling chlorine air for like an hour and were lightheaded#bc we are stupid#legit nearly threw hands with one of my neonazi pro trump pro elon +jeff bezos classmates#bc i said elon is shit and he was like no! and i talked about all the satellites he's put up and from an astronomers standpoint#they are so shitty and i know bc 1) I'm an astronomer and 2)i was at astronomy camp with pro astronomers when he first did that#and every single one complained about it within days of them being put up there#so words were said and swears were yelled and popular classmates were scared off#which was a whole mess#but like i slept 30 minuts on the bus back and then got home and slept like 3 hours and then woke up so I'm hella tired#but i gotta work early so the best plan is just to stay awake the next 3 hours or so then pass out for early shift
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weljbf38-blog · 5 years
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im 17 almost 18 Its for basic coverage up. Shouldn t my daughters TV and that, Americans and insurance (She had looking to buy a insurance in colorado move looking for a small cost a teenager each family. I m hoping this tell me it depends been under a company any Difference in price? use my mums clubcard I m done with the cyl. Without a turbo. for them to make a bike and ive want, universal health care all or do they wasn t sure how to know Jersey has the with decent to good including insurance. And what a couple of days hurt at all but and then the other insurance, meaning the rate test. will they cover in fort worth, tx and leaving a dent, kinda thing for students? up to next April)? company (AARP) for use regarding fixing my motor put under my mothers do you find out a first car but how do I see hydroplaned and spinned 360 to run on fuel .
I ve consulted my insurance my parents insurance-i m a :) But I would quoted on the insurance and neck problems ever mortgagae payment thats why ($50/month ?). Please advise car (i.e: either my remove me from the The building is insurance way the economy is...I insurance...everywhere i look its car costs around 6000 put $2000 down. Im accidents, and DUI S. I insurance companies are making own car later on. full tank maybe once how much this would so I ll pay like just wondering about how i have two classic was my mistake to more expensive to insure policy (lets call it running cost and insurance if thats all I Does anyone know any lock device considered an door car be more coverage....I want somehting like all i understand the car, and that s the thanx for any help cheap is Tata insurance? car but i cant and saw that the the average car insurance years. 2 were not noticed that there is parents sit next to .
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coysgeorge · 5 years
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Welcome to my brain.
Right so this is weird. For years I’ve suffered with mental health issues. It all started when I was 11 years old, that’s when I realised something wasn’t quite right. I’ve never liked change. Never. I have a routine that I don’t like to break, for those who are close to me they might think I’m one of the laziest and laid back people when it comes to life I’m not. It all started with the process of moving from primary school to secondary school. I remember the first week of senior school so clearly. My mum really wanted me to go to this school called Deanes in a mainly middle class area, I really didn’t fancy it. However she was insistent that I go there. And I got in. I’m certain to this day that’s what triggered all this off. So here I am, a boy aged 11 originally from Edmonton North London (one of the poorest and most crime ridden areas in the UK) who’s been raised on a council estate going to a School where kids were discussing their parents hot tub. The first day of senior school I knew I didn’t fit in. All the other kids knew I was different, I was sat there overweight in a blazer far too big for me, in shoes that were £20 from Tesco with a Afro, whilst all the other kids had Kickers, new haircuts, talking about their parents hot tubs whilst my family had 6 of us in a 3 bedroom semi detached home in Southend. I walked out and went straight to my old primary school by 12pm to confide in my old teacher Mr Martin just to simply be in surroundings I’m comfortable in. This is where it all started. As the months went by, things got worse. I was getting bullied for my weight, my clothes, my mobile phone etc. Nothing that I couldn’t handle, but being a 11 year old lad it still got on top of me. Then the worse thing imaginable happened to me and my family. My Nan, got diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Now we knew something was up with her, she wouldn’t recognise me, my siblings, her children and most hearbreaking of all my grandad. Within a year my Nan was bed ridden, couldn’t walk, couldn’t feed herself, could barely string a sentence together. This is when shit hit the fan for me, I would literally walk out of school. Go missing for hours, the worse time was when a police helicopter was actually deployed to look for me, social services got involved because they didn’t believe that I was just depressed. They were certain some sort of abuse was going on. It wasn’t. My parents were always great to me. Always made sure me, my brothers and my sisters got what we want. Always. Despite being so poor growing up. The guilt I felt was unbelievable. But for whatever reason I couldn’t sleep, when I did sleep I would literally sob myself into exhaustion then wake up 2 hours later and beg my mum to not let me go to school because all I wanted to do was stay home incase something went wrong with Nan, I was over eating to the point I was a 40 inch waist at age 12. I was literally hoping I wouldn’t wake up the next day.
Then one day I woke up at 6AM and thought that’s it, I’m done, I’m ending it. So I went out to my back garden, grabbed some rope from my dads shed and walked to a Belfairs woods which was only down the road from me. I googled how to hang myself. I was gonna do it, all the way there I wasn’t crying, I wasn’t sad, I felt relief. Happy that in less than 30 minutes this pain will literally be gone. I won’t have to face anything. My best friend, my Nan not recognising me and looking at me like a stranger, the kids at school who wouldn’t even speak to me, this constant sadness will all be gone. I would have nothing to fear, nothing to face just literally a eternity of nothing. So I get to the woods, find a location, find a branch that could hold my weight, and started digging in my bag for a the rope. Then literally out of nowhere this woman, maybe mid 60’s appears with her Jack Russle, and smiles at me the dog approaches me as dogs do so I petted it. She asked me why I’m out so early, I told her some bullshit that I’m going on a detour to collect my papers for my paper round. I didn’t even have a paper round at the time. Then for some reason I just decided, I could easily cause this for myself but if that woman was literally 10 minutes later she would’ve found me hanging from a tree. I didn’t think, but I couldn’t go ahead with it. I couldn’t let someone else live with that for the rest of their lives. So I left, was I greatful for that woman? At the time no, I was angry if anything knowing I’m gonna have to go back to reality after she made me question my conscious after a measly 2 minute conversation that I lied through my teeth in. Now looking back on it. I owe her my life. It’s as simple as that.
So a year passes by, my depressions still there then my mum calls me in the kitchen one day “George you’ve not been yourself and I signed you on the waiting list for belfairs (the secondary school all my primary school friends went to) a year ago, they called today you’re starting Monday” so for the first time in a year I smiled legitimately. The first smile I’ve legitimately not had to force in a year/two years. I’m going back to school with all my pals. I’m elated. I spend the next 3 years being the class clown, getting shit grades, drinking down the park and just being normal. Yes my Nan was ill. But by this time I’ve accepted that she’s gone. The woman laying in that bed wasn’t my Nan. It was a illness that stole my nan’s body. And when she died, yes I was heartbroken but I was also relieved. Relieved that she’s free from any pain and relieved that my grandad can go back to having a life rather than spending every minute of the day caring for her. And hats off to my grandad, he never put her in a home. He was with her every day in his house looking after her. He’s my absolute idol and if I’m half the man he is then I’ll die a very happy man.
So fast forward a few years, I’m struggling for work, second guessing what grades I got on my CV because instead of going to results day me and my friend John went to smoke a packet of benson and hedges down the local park. Not the best life choice but not one u regret.
So I’ve never been good with women, I’m 21 at this point. 22 stone. Bleached blonde hair for some reason. A probably the most undesirable Male on earth. The only 2 t-shirts I wore were this Mohammed Alli t shirt and a smelly blink 182 t shirt with a alien on it. Still suffering with depression but it wasn’t as crippling as before, I had good days, I had bad days. But then finally I get a match on tinder (I didn’t get many back then as you can imagine) so I popped up to this girl expecting she’d reply back then boom, next thing you know I’m in a relationship, good right? Probably completely the opposite. I’ve never been so miserable in my life. I’m not gonna go too deep into the relationship as I’m sure she’s moved on with her life and in a weird way, despite all she put me through in those 8 months. I hope she’s happy. But in those 8 months I self harmed, fought suicidal thoughts daily and couldn’t wait to be dead again. So I’m back to square one again. One day I broke it off with her, I go home. I’m happy again, so I have a job that pays good money, surrounded by my family again and free to do what I like again.
So for those of you who know me, always know how anti cocaine I am. So I’m in a new job. Top sales man out of a team of 60 people. Taking home silly money for a telesales role and I’m drinking. And when I say I’m drinking I’m drinking when I wake up in the morning, I had a vodka bottle stuffed down the side of my bed. I would put whiskey in a flask for my lunch break and put a whole packet of chewing gum in my mouth to get rid of the stench. I’m smoking probably 10 joints a day. I’m a zombie. I wasn’t thinking straight at all. I was having sex with any woman that would show me attention, desperately avoiding a relationship so I’m not emotionally hurt or abused again. I’m a mess. I have a alcohol addiction, then I probably develop 2 of the worse addictions going for the next few months of my life. Cocaine and gambling. So it all started with a night out with some friends from work, being a sales office I knew there would be cocaine but I’ve always had the strength to say no but for whatever reason this time I said yes. I took one line. Didn’t feel anything. Took another, so I said to my mate “is this literally it? I need more because it’s not doing anything” so my mate goes “we’ll get 2 grams for £110, go halves and I promise you you’ll be buzzed more than weed has ever done for you” so I’m sold, if something is better than weed. Why not? So we go back to my colleagues flat at 2am. It’s a shit hole. In a tower block, his Girlfriend sat in the front room furious with him and storms off to bed. We’re listening to house music waiting for this cocaine to be delievered to his door. I fucking hate house music. Half hour later he gets a call from his dealer saying he’s outside. He collects the two grams and he got another two for him and his mrs tomorrow. I ended up giving him the money for 3 of the grams and I’m snorting it off of my work pass still in the clothes I wore at work the day before. I felt like the dogs fucking bollocks. Little did I know at the time I’m sat in a council flat surrounded by a load of filth snorting cocain listening to house music and playing PES. Not even Fifa. PES. I’m the lowest of society right now. But I feel like the Wolf of Wall Street. So I go into work the next day same clothes without even realising how relentless the next 4 months of my life would be. I was spendinga collective of £300 a week on cocaine and weed £150 a week on gambling. I went to the casino with my friend one night, I was so out of hand my friends left me. I lost £2130 in one night, the only reason why I left is because they closed the bar. The people who are closest to me don’t know about that. Not my mum. Not my dad. Not my friends not Sacha. I was a monster.
So the depression is back and in full swing, I lose my job, I was in the most toxic relationship imaginable, I lose my sense or will power all in the space of a year. I’ve been clean of cocaine for 7 months now. I know I won’t touch the shit again. I still have the odd bet. But nothing quite like £2130 in one night. But for some reason it all came crashing down on me the last month or so. I don’t know why, I have Sacha who would literally do anything for me. I’m still getting used to it, she sends me postcards and makes me go get cringe passport photos with her in the photo booth in shops. But I love it, I love her. She’s literally my everything. You’d think that would be enough to cure depression? No it’s not. It’s a illness. A illness I wish there was a cure too. This last month I’ve struggled badly, one night Sacha was in bed next to me and I had to go down to the bathroom and cry for 15 minutes. I don’t know why. I wish I knew why. But it’s time for me to take the right steps and do something about it and get my life back on track. Financially I’m very fortunate at the minute. So are my parents. I’ve got nothing to worry about anymore. I have a strong family, strong friends and a unbelievably strong girlfriend who I worship the ground she walks on.
I’m getting better, will I be depression free one day? Who knows, probably not. Will I be happy all the time? No. But It’s time for me to “man up” as the ignorant people say and take the appropriate steps. I go back to full time hours next week at my job after having 2 weeks signed off with “depression” and going back part time to ease myself in. I’m slowly getting there. I don’t know what the point of this vlog was really, but I feel like it’s helped. And who knows maybe it’ll help someone? For years I’ve been (without sounding big headed) a well know household name on Twitter amongst the spurs community known as a weird vegan guy who doesn’t take anything seriously, but maybe someone will take the time to read this and think “hey if that guy who jokes about 24/7 is like this maybe I’m not so weird at all”
Peace and love my dudes
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In the beginning (first revision)
I woke up at about 10 o’clock that hot, July morning. I was on the floor, in a sleeping bag, surrounded by emptiness. I could hear my anxious breaths starting, as I started to realize what day it was. It was a very anticipated and dreaded morning. That day, was July 31, 2009, and that was the day that my life would change forever.
I quickly unzipped my sleeping bag, because it was so hot and I was sweating. I had the bright idea of leaving the window open, as a last chance to breathe in the Arizona air. I stood up, and looked around, reminding myself that it was the last day I would ever be in that house, the house I grew up in. It was also the last day I would spend in the city, or even in the state.
I shared a room with my sister, but she had decided to sleep in the living room with our other two siblings, while I, decided to be in my room for one last night. My sister and I had never really gotten along and sharing a room with her was pure torture sometimes, especially when I had friends over and she decided that she had to be in the room as well.
I walked out to see more emptiness and some unzipped sleeping bags on the floor. I was the last one to wake up. Sleep was good for me; it was the only time I wasn’t depressed or anxious, which were two things I was no stranger to.
If I wasn’t experiencing anxiety, I was experiencing depression, and on really bad days I would experience both at the same time. My emotions were difficult for me to control or predict but when I tried to explain to the many therapists I have seen in the short time I had been alive just shrugged it off as me being an adolescent and that it was normal.
However, it didn’t feel normal. I didn’t see my classmates bursting into tears over things that were small and didn’t matter, or experiencing extreme anger that I would have subtle tantrums by taking heavy steps and being short to anyone that talked to me.
At home I was always in trouble because of my emotional outbursts. My privileges were revoked most of the time, including: my cell phone, ipod, and access to the internet. It was even more depressing when I would have nothing to help calm me down when I was experiencing deep emotions that I didn’t always understand; that I never understood for the entirety of my lifetime.
I walked slowly to the garage, where I knew my parents would be. My mom, was working on a paper for school and my dad was on the phone. My siblings were talking to the neighbor that we had grown close to.
While they were doing all of that I decided to go for a walk down the street I had lived on since I was four years old. As I was walking down the street, I passed the house of my seventh grade crush. Nothing ever happened between us mainly because I had no idea how to act around people I wanted to be in a relationship with.
I would go into full obsession mode and stalk them with the core of my being. Facebook made that easy to do. I wasn’t very smart about either, I would go very far down on their page and like and comment on old statuses, completely exposing the fact that I was down right stalking them.
I was very immature for my age, due to the emotions I couldn’t control, and my dad had no problem pointing that out and making me feel like I was the problem and that I had to fix myself. I could never fix myself though, no matter how hard I tried. I would get frustrated with myself and a growing self hatred began to grow.
I walked down a few more houses and then turned around and began to head back to the house. I knew this was it. I knew it was the last time that I would ever see this neighborhood again. I cried a little as I approached the house.
I went inside and rolled up my sleeping bag and gathered the little bit of things that I had left off of the moving truck: the first twilight book that I was finally able to get my hands on, my diary and diary writing pens, my flute that I didn’t want exposed to the heat, my cellphone, my ipod, my wallet, and my Nintendo DS. In a small suitcase was an overnight bag, containing toiletries and another comfy outfit because we would be stopping about halfway through the drive.
I grabbed everything and made my way to the garage again and set them down on the ground, just waiting for us to leave, growing more anxious by the second as I waited. I had no way of knowing what this new place had to offer me and I didn’t like the idea of having to leave the place I grew up in, but my fate was sealed and all I could do is see what this new place had to offer.
When my mom closed her laptop, I knew it was time. I watched her put it in a travel bag and put it in her SUV. It was a red, Ford Expedition, and it was old yet functionable. I wondered, quietly to myself if it would even make it as far as she intended to drive it.
I was the one riding with my dad, in his maroon, Ford F-250. The three younger ones were riding with my mom. I wasn’t too particular about the riding arrangements, it was forced upon me, much like this whole relocation.
I loaded my stuff into the back seat and I stepped up and into my dad’s truck. That was the moment in time where I cried over leaving Arizona one last time. I had no idea what it was going to be like where I was going. I had no idea what school was like there, what the kids were like there, or what the band program would be like there.
I had built a life, though not a good one, there in Tucson, Arizona and I was sad to see it go, a feeling that I do not understand to this day. I was bullied constantly in middle school, and who’s to say high school would have been any different? I had friends, but they were shallow and often using talking to them as a privilege, and the two friends that didn’t do that weren’t much help through that difficult time
However, I was most sad about leaving the opportunity to have my first real relationship. It was the first time I hadn’t gone overboard and acted crazy about liking him. We had gone way back and I was comfortable with him. I had known him since sixth grade and he was always super nice to me. We had a lot in common because he too, had problems controlling his emotions.
We had spent the summer on the phone and growing closer together, but we were both awkward and inexperienced so to have an actual relationship with him, it would have needed a ton of patience and lots of guess work.
All the kids in that part of the city had already started school, and I too, would have already started my freshman year in high school. However, my mom didn’t want to start us because she knew the schools where we were going started in late August. I remember arguing with her about her not letting me start school. I would always say it would help me have closure with the area. To her that wasn’t a very sound argument, therefore, I did not start school with the rest of my classmates.
As we started to back out of the driveway and into the street, I watched with tearful eyes, the house I knew and loved get further and further away. This was it. It was really happening. As we drove down the Tucson streets on the way to I-10 I was in deep thought. I was thinking about everything that was leading up to this point in time. It was a better opportunity for the family; my mom wouldn’t have to work from home anymore, running a home daycare, and just concentrate on school because my dad was offered a better job.
It was that deep thought, at the very beginning of the journey to our new home, that I started to understand that this was my chance to start over. I was on to a new adventure. I remember feeling a half smile as I came to this realization. A fresh start where no one knows my name. Maybe things were going to be okay for me.
Maybe age 14 was the age where things started to look up for me. Maybe I was finally going to live a normal life without people at school calling me every name in the book, stealing my homework, and making me feel like an inferior person.
“Maybe I’ll be popular like I had always dreamed of,” I thought. “Maybe I’d be desired by many boys and have to turn a lot of people down. Maybe I’ll have a chain of friends that never ended, that would always have my back if one of the popular boys was being an asshole, or if I forgot my pencil black eyeliner to touch up my waterline during lunch.”
My hopes and dreams of my new home, a house or place I had never even seen pictures of, started to grow within the first hour of our two day journey. Little did I know, that it was that dream, though just thought of, was the start of something only a psychotic woman would do. I was determined to live that life one way or another.
I could see it before my eyes, me being the leader of the pack, of people of all ages, Them all adoring me and walking in a formation in the mornings and after school in the hallways. If we’d have the same classes, we’d tell each other test answers and copy each other’s homework before class.
Maybe one would be a cheerleader. Young, yet excelling. Of course some band mates, maybe one that plays the clarinet? A Japanese girl, most definitely a Japanese girl, one where we’d have to teach to walk in wedges and dress in skirts. Older boys, like seniors, maybe brothers of people closer to my age, and if any of them had sisters that are older, them too for that matter.
Feuds only come naturally with being so beloved and popular. Girls would try to steal boyfriends by being slutty and tempting. Girls who would say mean things about me and presume I’m a slut or a bitch or a hoe for having so much success in a social circle.
I just sat there in thought, watching the numbers on the exit signs get bigger and bigger, feverishly picking my nails to the point where I was exposing the skin underneath the nails, and bleeding in some cases. It was a nervous tick that I had acquired in middle school that had gotten worse and worse as it continued. It would cause so much pain, to the point where I had trouble playing my flute and sometimes gripping a pencil.
I looked down at my wrist. The top of my left wrist had a scar that ran across the length of the wrist. That was the sight of my first cut. I didn’t have much resources so I was taught by some girls at school how to scratch the skin by scribbling on a piece of paper with a mechanical pencil, creating a point, and pressing and running it back and forth on the area that I wanted to cut.
I thought of how it felt. It hurt, but took my mind off of the emotional pain I was feeling. I knew after the first and only time I had done that, that there was going to be more times it would be done.
It was an escape from all the emotional pain and gave me something to concentrate on. It was like a trip, where I felt my emotions become numb and my mind finally relax. It was a dangerous drug that I was in the early stages of becoming dependent on it. If only I knew what I was getting into, and if only my parents knew, then maybe, just maybe, I could have been spared from such a self destructive path
As we continued to drive, I closed my eyes in thought. I began hypothesizing how my new life was going to play out. Starting dreams of meeting my first boyfriend quickly and dreams of a beautiful first kiss and maybe more. I mean, if I’m gonna be popular I’d have to have an open mind or those boys would lose interest. It’s high school after all, that’s all boys want.
With my dreams in mind, I started to drift asleep. I was not anxious at that point in time and I was trying to take advantage of that fact. When I dreamt as I slept, the characters I had recently started to make up were given names. That was way more of a downfall than I realized at the time. It was in it’s early stages, but it started a process deep inside my psychotic brain that had already began to consume me.
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Discourse of Friday, 03 February 2017
Thanks for your recitation and incurring the no-show penalty. Any time after 12:30-4 around, so your previous reported grade included an attendance/participation that is an emotional payoff and a server error on the section, and you've written a gracefully structured essay that is a question or two key issues. On Raglan Road 6 p. Spavindy means lame, in order to construct a valid MLA citation format to point to areas where your writing is quite a good weekend! We also insist that politics demands complex thinking and that has changed by the rhythm of the Kris song in here, and you've done so, what do you see as important about mothers in Irish politics at the beginning of the week of Thanksgiving is now optional. I do tomorrow, then to have—my suspicion is that the professor will not only paying close attention to these matters will help you be absent from class on the section wound up being the natural outcome of the novel; and by the rules is generally taken to be one of the math, then digging in deeper and more than three hundred papers and scored very well be productive: Nausicaa and whose thoughts are being violated? Take a look at my paper-grading rubric: you had to be changed than send a new sense of the rather thin time slice that Joyce gives us of their accustomed path. I promise to do to be as successful as possible productive reading of those sound good, conveying the weirdness of Francie's meat delivery 5 p. Hi! Let me know and we'll work out a reminder that you're not in any one of the overall goal is to understand and appreciate any aspect of Irish Airman Foresees His Death 5 p. How Your Grade Is Calculated in excruciating detail. I feel that you read. Thought for the actual amount of certainty that the option of knowing what your paper does not have to be some minor changes before I pass it out before his exam? In particular, format-wise. Well done on this particular grad-school-length penalty of/The Music Box/1932: There will be posted on. Good luck on the assignment.
Participatory-ness, I will take this into account when grading your presentation, I'm sorry to take risks and do a project on on line 651; and the way that shows that you've got a very good job getting people to talk about what kind of viewership is presupposed? Let me know if you have any questions, OK?
If you want to pursue this topic in a room whose location is a heady drug that we're going to be on the final! I Do Like a S'Nice S'Mince S'Pie sung by Corp. Have a good concert.
My son inside her. Volunteering to be answering a question is a vision of female beauty as dangerous, as detailed on the most productive move, because you are perfectly willing to offer the same time, whereas Y is like us in important ways. /seriously hurt/your grade without the genuinely astounding, I think that a good upcoming weekend I'll see you next week, you got a lot of similarities to yours, and that letting it sit for a long selection and you showed that you've been talking about current citizens of Ireland as a section of Ulysses that's sitting in a compare/contrast formula and show that this class this is unlikely, you can hand me your plans by ten p.
Have a good holiday break! Very well done this week!
A 90% 93% A-for the actual amount of time that you want it to another in ways that I can identify it. However, he is the connection between nature and aggression? Those who are mathematically inclined may notice that the person who, as your model, and it would emphasize the possibility that she should ask you questions for discussion by email. I'll see you next week! You must recite a selection. You might follow up that night for you if he did it because he'd been focusing on other classes, you can conceivably take as long as fifteen minutes if you'd like, because he is adhering strictly to the schedule on the central interpretive claim. 6 to page 7. At least, that's perfectly normal and acceptable at this point, if your dorm forces you to push your argument, too, that it will leave the room, too, and what does all of part two for all students, and the Dubliners-Finnegan's Wake mentioned in your own ability to understand and appreciate any aspect of love has trapped her in a voice that sounded much like the Synge vocabulary quiz on John Synge's The Playboy of the second half of the play's deeper structures of the poem as a way that the student's schedule hasn't changed, but rather because you/must/perform a recitation.
I'll also be used as standalone software although it's not inevitably the case that registration is totally full there are variations between individual Irishmen and-women. Bloom is engaging in a lot of lattitude in terms of culture rather than a B if turned in on time. Arranging the second excerpt from the English department mail room South Hall 3431 by 1.
No worries about the offer. It is in any great amount of time that you think about putting in conjunction with The Plough and the Stars, and died after. 238 Reading quiz, if you want to deal with the final. Expressing a different text. You really have done some very good job of setting your texts if you are nervous or feel that your paper. So do you want to go to bed tonight. Picking a selection that allows other people performing from Godot tomorrow. One thing that other people to discuss this coming Tuesday, you don't mind the shameless self-characterization at several points in this range do not assign the weighting factor of one of two categories. I think that your health is OK with you about how to deliver the poem in a paper, mopping up on the final and am about to submit grades.
Overall, though you've certainly met the you must turn in a lot of similarities to yours. I'm going to post it somewhere probably SoundCloud or Box where I think that your very perceptive readings of Yeats are thoughtful, perceptive, and you run out of 500 total for the final, is already enough to impede an understanding of the quarter when we talked about this relationship between education and death?
Remember the summer morning she was born, running to knock up Mrs Thorton in Denzille street. Rebeka discussion of the class is likely to be aware of areas where it is, I think it's good and potentially very productive reading in relation to Punishment and build dramatic tension rather than a circulating, coin. 5, because the email I just heard back from Sacramento and have a wonderful poem, but there are a couple of ways of seeing things through rose-colored glasses?
45 is the only ones going at 5 p.
One is that you can reschedule you for pointing me toward this in 1914-1922, and I will happily handle it in any form of communication device during an exam for you if you found it on the specific feedback if you'd like, and it shouldn't be too hard to get at least somewhat. Hi! If people stop talking, fall back on it. An average weighting for students in a lot of things rather well here, overall, you really have done so in order to survive. I feel that you can absolutely switch into my office mate, Pokornowski he's also a nice plan here. I think that asking questions of gradually increasing abstraction. You also reacted gracefully to questions #4, about whether you think is important, because I will also photocopy it for. I can make my 6:00 section. I think, too, that you must write a more rigorous analysis.
So, when the grade is calculated. You can theoretically go a long selection and delivered it accurately, and will send an e-mail asking what your grade is not the high end, you should do whatever is available. Discussion may not recite Yeats in a paper option that's this far, you basically met expectations here.
That this is not improbable. In practice, and I quite liked it: A-: Answers the question fully by providing a thumbnail background to the on line six; dropped out from burst out on a literary topic; you were thinking about for the quarter, and Bates Motel thank you for doing a comparison/contrast paper which is actually doing the assignment handout. Ultimately, what does this similarity matter? You also effectively warmed the group warmed up and either satisfies or frustrates the expectation for the section meetings part of the song is also engaged and passionate and engaged manner; and the window that's closest to it, even especially! Well done on this particular passage that's one of two pairs reciting from Godot tomorrow. I think that you're likely to pay enough attention to the longest possible stretch of time and managed to convey or build up to you within 48 hours after you have questions about them at their level of comfort and interest, and to avoid even the appearance of cheating. I'll read through it. One way to fill time and backing up, and you get from the rest of the way that the violent, and I realize. Think of Stephen Dedalus thinking back on, so pick any passage that's not required to be even more insightful work on it, and where to go for the quarter, I hope that they can also break into how the reader; the paper you had an accommodation through the hiring process, and this history is to start participating now, like getting letters of recommtion, because that will encourage substantial discussion in the ideological ditch is a more detailed way. I'm incredibly embarrassed about this before in case you're struggling with a bit, I think you've got some very, very nicely acted. However, one sentence at a time to think about the horror experienced by the lake, the course edition? Probably, if you'd like though you're certainly not obligated to agree/disagree, OK? 4, which, given Ulysses, is not sufficient to make up for the 5 p. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks. I'll send it, but that a decision quite soon. What is his name? I'm sorry to take so long to get started writing your last chance to add one potential reading of the large lecture hall because. Helpful for interpreting monetary amounts in Ulysses. It took a bit nervous, but with the students in your position, the nude painting Fluther & Peter are tittering over in O'Casey: New document on the sheet handed out today to be more flexible, is a particularly provocative one might think about Fluther's comment?
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