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emo-batboy · 6 months

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Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

#cryptid Bruce Wayne #college au #does this count if op is the au #fully nocturnal unhinged madman Bruce but make him like 17 and full of crippling separation anxiety and autism #bruce would rather die than inconvenience a professor but hE KNOWS HIS DINOSAURS #Dino class was my fav one in uni hands down #yes i am insane thank you for asking #originally this was just going to be a normal list but I kept taking from my own experience then said “fuck it I'm the captain now”#one of these was a lie tho...the murder wall was third year :/#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #batman 2022 #the batman #battinson needs a hug #dc universe #gotham #autistic bruce wayne

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sturnsdoll · 19 days

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𝘏𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘓 -`♡´- - C.S

inspired by: this pairing: chris x ("bestfriend"!) reader summary: your bestfriend is bored at night so he comes to your hotel room. what activities will he think of to keep himself entertained?? warnings: smut w slight background, dirty talk, lots of praise, friends to lovers, dom!chris x sub!reader, fingering, swearing, cocky chris?, word count: 2700 authors note: as soon as i saw the post asking for someone to make something like this i knew i had to turn tf up. hope i did the request justice 😛 "pink" = reader speaking "orange" = chris speaking

「 ✦Hotel by montell fish ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|• 0:10 ᯤ✦ 」

it had been nothing short of a long day. you and the triplets had been out all day taking a road trip. you were just excited to get to the hotel with your friends and sleep. you, matt and nick were all exhausted but chris, your bestfriend, was still bursting with energy.

you and the triplets entered the hotel and let nick take care of obtaining the keys and room numbers. the plan was that you would have your own room and nick, matt and chris would share a two bed room for the night.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

matt was out no less than five minutes after all of you found your rooms and nick was practically non-verbal on his phone. chris was on the edge of the bed by nicks feet yappin' away about his day. no matter how obvious it was that nick wanted his space, chris couldn't bring himself to just be quiet.

"i just feel like-" "chris oh my god" nick interupted. this caused chris to go quiet with a look that said 'what?' on his face. oblivious. "i need you to shush motherfucker go to sleep or go bug your little girlfriend" nick complained as he rolled over.

chris glared at him for referring you his girlfriend. then after him and nick exchanged a few choice words (mainly consisting of nick telling him to shut the fuck up) chris chose to go bother you instead.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

music played at a comfortable volume in your hotel room. you set down your toothbrush and turned the tap off. about to start on your skincare, you were interupted by a knock on the door. approaching the door you were expecting it to be cleaners or something, but upon the door opening you found chris.

"hey" he hardly greeted as he let himself in past you to sit on your bed. you sighed as you closed the door and looked at him with a look that asked what he was doing bugging you at this hour. "nick kicked me out" chris half jokes as his eyes scan you quickly. he caught notice of the way the cold exposed your nipples through your tank top. his eyes went back to your eyes before you could notice him looking.

as comfortable as you were with chris, recently there had just been these moments where you were sure you were both flirting with eachother or that there was some kind of tension. you had shrugged it all off though because although your feelings for chris were more than just platonic, you knew there was no way he felt the same. however something about being alone with him made you nervous.

"so you came to annoy me instead? great" your voice was sarcastic but in a playful manner. you headed for the bathroom to finish your nightly routine. "shut up you love me" chris retorts, following you to the bathroom.

you sat up on the counter criss crossed and begun pulling serums, washcloths and cleansers from your bag. chris enjoyed watching you do everyday things like this. he came behind you, leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder, watching you in the mirror. his palms pressing into the counter. feeling his warm body so close to yours made you feel safe, comforted (also a little hot inside.)

you were both silent as your music filled the room. while you nurtured your face his eyes were glued to you, admiring you the entire time.

once you finished you gave chris a smile in the mirror "you know your gonna have to go back with nick and matt really soon chris i'm tired" you tried to turn around but he wrapped his arms around you from behind. embracing the hug as much as you could from this position, you leaned your head back and placed your arms on his. "but i'm bored" he complained. there was something almost mischevious in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. "but i'm tired" you said, mocking him.

his voice comes out quieter and lower next to your ear "oh i'm sure i could wake you up" there's a grin or maybe even a smirk on his face. you were sure he didn't mean anything sexual but still your face heats up and your sure that due to your bodies touching, he can feel the way your heartbeat begins racing.

you look at him with a shy smile although not knowing what to say. the song changed and the familiar start to hotel by montell fish begins playing.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙢𝙚𝙩 ��𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢, 𝙞 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙨" ⊹ ࣪ ˖

an unspeakable tension grows and maybe it's your imagination but you swear a slight smirk spreads on his face. you don't realize it but it's been a minute now and you've said nothing back to him, only staring blankly back at him in the mirror.

"hm?" his voice snaps you out of your trance and you realized you've been silently staring at him for an uncomfortable amount of time. fuck. "i dunno i'm pretty tired" you panic at the way your voice comes out a little breathy. his voice drops slightly "you're tired hm?" his arms squeeze a little tighter around you "that why your hearts practically beating out of your chest?" his words mixed with his breath fanning your ear make you dizzy. you can't deny the mix of arousal and nervousness you're feeling. he's your bestfriend afterall, he knows you well enough to know exactly what's going through your mind right now.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪" ⊹ ࣪ ˖

so you decide to embrace those feelings. you pull his arms off of you and turn your body around so there's no choice but for your legs to dangle off the counter on either side of his waist. he's still not sure if your feeling how he is so to be safe, his hands rest on the counter next to the outsides of your thighs rather than touching you.

you quickly glance down his body then back up to his eyes. "that why you're hard?" you mock with a mischevious grin. for a split second he looks taken aback but then before you can tease him any further he grabs your thighs, dragging you closer to him. your thighs instinctively squeeze his waist. you gasp when his clothed erection pokes at your thin sleep shorts.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚"⊹ ࣪ ˖

there's a moment of silence as he searches your eyes for any sign of hesitation. instead he only finds lust and need. without skipping another beat, his hand comes to the back of your head, pulling you into a passionate makeout.

your arms wrap around his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer. you wanted him everywhere, on you, under you, in you.

his other hand gently rubs your thigh while his lips break off from yours. he takes in your already disheveled state. lips puffy, eyes glossed over with need. "so pretty" he comments right before attacking your neck with kisses filled with teeth, tongue and sucking. a gentle whine escapes you as he lifts you off the counter. and even when he lays you on the bed his lips don't leave your neck.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙞 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣' 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢. 𝙞 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪"⊹ ࣪ ˖

his weight presses onto you but not suffocatingly. he subconciously ruts his hips into yours. "mm" you squirm your hips up for more but he pushes your hips back to the bed with his own. your cunt is aching to be touched in any way shape or form, so long as it's him. "chris please" your voice comes out desperate.

he completely ignored your plea but his lips do come off your neck so he can lock eyes with you. his hand slowly brushes down your side "god i bet you're soaked already" he seems as if he's speaking to himself. his fingertips brush across your hip bone now. his voice alone makes you try and close your legs to relieve some tension. with his body between them though, it's useless.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚?"⊹ ࣪ ˖

you look at him with doe eyes, wanting nothing more than his touch right now. "chris-" you begin when suddenly he pulls the band of your panties back before letting is snap against your skin "so desperate" he teases before his hand finally slips beneath the thin material. two fingers slide up and down your soaked cunt to collect your wetness on his fingers. then his middle finger makes quick work of circling your clit.

"who made you this wet, baby?" he asks with cockiness to his tone. your head goes to the side and your eyes find anywhere to look but him. you can't believe your bestfriend is talking dirty to you, while he's on you. as you let out a whiny "you" in response. he's way too entertained with how whiny and submissive you already are for him to be thinking about how shocking the situation is for you both. "mhm." he responds. his middle finger leaves your clit only to enter you along with his ring finger. a sigh of relief leaves your lips. "now look at me" his free hand grips your jaw, forcing you to face him. your eyes still avoid his though.

his fingers begin to curl repetitevly inside of you, forcing a moan from your lips. he feels his pants tighten at your reaction. "look at me or i'll stop." his tone is gentle but still commanding. it leaves you with no choice but to meet his gaze. you take notice of how much darker the lust has turned his blue eyes.

"listen so well" he praises before his lips meet yours. hearing him talk to you like this makes every ounce of your body heat up. you're already feeling close.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣, 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙝𝙝, 𝙞, 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪" ⊹ ࣪ ˖

he pushes his wrist forward and somehow, his fingers reach even deeper and his palm rubs your needy clit. your nails dig into the back of his neck "s-so good" you mutter as your eyes stare hooded and glossy up at your best (not-so) friend.

the cockiness is seeping off of him "yea? you like my fingers?" his movements speed up as he speaks. his voice mixed with his skilled hands nearly send you over the edge. he can feel the way you clench, threatning to finish any minute. for that very reason he rips your pleasure away.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡, 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙞 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛, 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚. 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡. 𝙤𝙤𝙝, 𝙮𝙤𝙪"⊹ ࣪ ˖

you open your mouth to protest but he speaks before you can. "m' gonna make you feel good again, don't worry" he assures as he leaves you for a second to remove his clothes. you take this as your cue and remove everything besides your bra and panties.

chris resumes his place on the perfectly white hotel sheets. his hand is gently stroking his cock as he moves between your legs. your eyes lock with it and your desperation reaches an all time high. he's not small or thin by any means.

he smirks at the way your lips are parted, eyes watching, body waiting. he uses his free hand to push your legs open further. you knew letting your bestfriend fuck you was about to change everything for the both of you, but the way your whole body ached for him drowned out all the worries you had.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙢𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙨. 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪..." ⊹ ࣪ ˖

"you want your bestfriends cock sweetheart?" he asks staring down at you. "yes chris" your words come out impatiently. "then what do you say? hm?" you frustratedly watch the grin on his face as he taps his tip against your puffy clit just to tease you.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚"⊹ ࣪ ˖

you sigh "please." he can tell your frustrated. "you can do better than that" he states as he drags his tip up and down your pussy, juices coating his tip now. your hips push toward him but he only pulls back. "please fuck me chris. i need you"

"good girl." he praises, his length unexpectedly shoving into you. "god so tight" he groans the praise as he pulls back, then pounding into you again. "chris!" you shout as your hands go for the sheets but chris grasps them instead. his fingers interlock with yours, pinning your arms and hands down next to your head.

he picks up a harsh pace. uncontrollable whines and moans begin spilling from your lips. as his head drops next to yours, filthy things come out of his mouth into your ear.

you're just speechless, mouth open as your eyes roll back.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙞 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣' 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪"⊹ ࣪ ˖

he kisses your neck so gently, completely contradicting the roughness of how he's fucking you. "so pretty underneath me" he mumbles before his lips attatch to your neck again. you clench around him at the praise, making him groan and thrust his hips faster to chase his release as well as help you reach yours.

you whine out his name as you shut your eyes, his cock hitting the right spot everytime he thrusts his hips. one of his hands moves away from yours to slip between your bodies. his middle finger wastes no time on finding and stimulating your clit. your hips buck into his hand but with the way he's fucking you it makes no difference.

"need t-to- uh fuck" your words are cut off by a needy moan. he pulls away from your neck to look at you "what's wrong hm?" he asks with faux sympathy right before a particulary deep slam of his hips into yours, wanting to pull more of those pretty noises out of you.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙞 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙤 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪"⊹ ࣪ ˖

giving up on speaking you throw your head back, your free hand gripping his shoulder as you uncontrollably clenched around him, desperate noises coming from your lips one after the other.

"you need to cum?" he's out of breath and his pace begins to falter. you nod frantically. "go on then, cum with me" he says through his teeth as his hips twitch. one more thrust of his hips and his cum fills you up.

his hips still but he continues rubbing quick circles on your clit "come on, be a good girl and cum for me" his words are what send you over the edge. your hips lift of the bed, your mouth opens but nothing comes out. "fuck." chris mutters at the sight of you mixed with feeling of you clenching around his cock, milking him dry.

he pulls out but massages your clit a little longer, letting you work through your high before collapsing on the bed next to you. you roll on your side and he does the same, spooning you. the both of you leave nothing to be heard but deep breaths as you both smile at the experience that just occured.

⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪"⊹ ࣪ ˖

after chris finally got himself up to clean the both of yours mess you both got dressed and took seats on the bed facing one another. there was an almost awkward silence, not surprising considering you just let your bestfriend fuck the shit out of you.

you speak first "i don't just wanna fuck" you state with a worried expression. he stares at you for a moment and you think he's about to tell you he doesn't want any kind of relationship. "is that what you want?" you were quiter and much more sheepish now. you looked like you wanted to retract into your own skin and never come out. he quickly smiled. he playfully slaps his no-longer bestfriends shoulder. "no dumbass i want you" he says before scooching closer, grabbing your hips to pull you into his lap. then placing a delicate kiss on your lips.

you smile down widely at him "great. now can we fucking sleep?" you ask exhaustedly. "yup" he responds, standing up while holding you before tossing you on the bed and climbing in next to you. ⊹ ࣪ ˖"𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡, 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚, 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣' 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚?"⊹ ࣪ ˖

(sorry for the stupid ending 🙏)

#chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo fanfic #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturnsdoll

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a-d-nox · 6 months

Note

I mean, let's say the man's Venus sextiles my Saturn, but my venus squares his Saturn.... But there's his Mars conjunct my Lilith (trine sun) and his Eros conjunct my Mars..... Man, I'd really like a synastry reading in exchange for my dream interpretation (i interpret dream/nightmares)

aspects in synastry and composite charts (venus edition)

after a shorter fun post from the same asker about a year ago, i have decided to trial the start a series after popular demand (sorry i'm running behind schedule)! i am starting in the middle of the chart per the request and after chatting with the asker offline. by middle of the series, i mean that i will not be talking about aspects to planets/luminaries before venus in this post - all planets after venus will be included. when an ask is made for planets/luminaries before venus i will go back to aspects where venus is involved (if that makes sense lol).

all of this is in my opinion. some of it you may be like how tf did she come up with this. my answer: intuition and experience with other people's charts that i have available to me. warning i can be harsh: please don't take everything i say as predestined, astrology is possible outcomes not guaranteed ones. plus let's not forget orbs matter, dominance matters, etc. this is just a starting place for when examining a single planet in an entire galaxy. take what resonates and leave what doesn't!

TW: sexual assault, abuse, and infertility.

ADDITIONAL WARNING: this post does contain mature content.

let's begin!

venus-venus

synastry: positive aspects: you can see the admiration for one another. anyone who sees the two of you together can see you both absolutely adore each other. venus-venus couples may get married to one another at some point because venus represents alliances, companionship, lovers, marriage, suitors, and proposals - at the very least, you two may date for a very long time or go to a big milestone event together like prom. you two are likely very affectionate with one another; you do small things for one another that are utterly heartwarming and adorable - could be holding/opening the door, one person giving their coat to the other, etc. you both often check with one another if what you/they are doing "is okay." in a feminine-masculine relationship the masculine is likely a feminist and lets the feminine be dominant / in charge of the relationship. the masculine in such a relationship may also be a gentlemen and unwilling to do or act in any way that makes the feminine partner feel uncomfortable. you two are constantly flirting with one another. you both are probably very hopeful of this union especially since you likely have a lot of fun together. negative aspects: it is extremely difficult for others to tell if you two really don't like one another. some people may think it is sexual tension or a lovers' quarrel, but you two are likely not each other's biggest fans. you could reject each other's advances - this is the equivalent of receiving the retort "you're not even that hot" after you tell someone you won't go out with them. these people aren't long-term lovers; this is the couple everyone thought would be cute together, but they truly hate one another...

venus-mars

synastry: positive aspects: mars person likely performs a lot of acts of service to show that they care for venus person; mars person seemingly worships venus person. the mars person will likely be the first to make a move or ask the venus person out - it could also indicate that the mars person proposes to the venus person (mars is action and venus is commitment and alliances). mars person is likely to find the venus person to be an aphrodisiac; everything about the venus person turns on the mars person - smell, taste, looks, etc. negative aspects: mars person is likely to do a lot for the venus person but often feels unnoticed or a lack of gratitude for doing so. mars person is prone to starting arguments, while a venus person frequently is the type to immaturely interact with them in response (silent treatment, eye-rolls, etc.). mars person is likely to assert their thoughts and opinions in the connection, while the venus person longs for a true partner who sees and treats them as their equal. (***TW***) the mars person may be belligerent/abusive in the connection and likely has so much ambition regarding the relationship that they frequently ignore or cross the boundaries the venus person sets - the mars person is often impatient and thus can rush the physical aspects of the connection (raped, molestation, etc. ***END OF TW MATERIAL***). mars person is likely to underestimate and be unappreciative of the venus person's power - often a mars person will see a venus person as harmless, meek, and/or "cute". pain is a commonality with this synastry aspect / interaction - the mars person frequently causes the venus person wounds/pain that will take a while for them to heal from. venus person can be too lazy for the mars person's liking. venus person may also have a lot of false expectations/hopes regarding the mars person's character.

composite: positive aspects: this is super erotic in a composite chart - mars brings the idea of passion and venus brings the idea of amorousness. this couple often is constantly doing things for one another to show that they love, care, and think about the other person when they are not around one another. they often are the couple who appears to enjoy a lot of public displays of affection from one another - they appear as those they are intoxicated by / addicted to one another. negative aspects: it could feel as though this connection is about competing with one another rather than aiding one another to be their best selves. often this connection is quick to fizzle out. both individuals in the partnership might lack gratitude for each other and what they do for one another. it may feel like this couple is constantly arguing with one another and that there is a lot of immaturity in the connection because of how the two argue (they are both unwilling to compromise in most cases). there tends to be an obvious power margin between the two in the connection. both parties can often cross each other's boundaries and cause discomfort for one another in the connection. the two may underestimate each other in the connection and be pleasantly surprised or utterly unsurprised, which causes a strain (they may cite the other as incapable - their lack of ability is why the connection didn't work out). each person may feel the connection has a strain and that they are wounded from/by the relationship.

venus-jupiter

synastry: positive aspects: venus person generally looks up to jupiter person and admires their achievements. venus person is also enamored by the jupiter person's ability to keep their word. venus person often will celebrate the jupiter person's wins. these two are a match made in heaven - venus person often feels jaded and/or hurt in their connections, while jupiter person knows the perfect thing to say to make the venus person feel better and more secure in the connection. for the venus person, the jupiter person is the most understanding and accepting individual they know when it comes to the validation and reassurance they need. the jupiter person tends to be the knight in shining armor to the venus person's princess in a tower. the gentlemanly jupiter person is often the king of consent; which is extremely appreciated by venus person. the jupiter person's desire for the venus person is often very obvious. jupiter person often proposes to the venus person. the jupiter person often likes to spend a lot of time with and money on the venus person. negative aspects: venus person could envy what the jupiter has and has achieved in life. jupiter person may feel as though they can't 100% rely on the venus person to consistently do what they said they would. the venus person can feel like the jupiter person is gaslighting them or feeding them only what they want to hear (venus person may question the jupiter person's genuineness to them; it might be too good to be true). venus person might feel as though the jupiter person is a misogynist. the jupiter person may feel that they love the venus person more than the venus person loves them. venus person may feel that the jupiter person is extremely clingy. jupiter person may eventually get tired of apologizing and become standoffish: "i don't know what you want from me". venus person can default to immature commentary during fights saying things that are meant to hurt the jupiter person's self-esteem. jupiter person might feel as though they do more in the connection than the venus person does. jupiter person may be a bit careless/unappreciative when it comes to the acts of service or romantic gestures that the venus person makes. jupiter person can be a bit stoic when they are in an argument with the venus person. jupiter person often seeks to improve their connection, while venus person might be too lax to change/improve their connection. the jupiter person can be a bit too possessive for the venus person.

composite: positive aspects: there is a visible abundance of admiration for one another in this connection - they are extremely wholesome and cute together. often the couple is very strong together and can achieve a lot together in the alliance they have with one another. often this couple is very content with each other. they boost one another's confidence and celebrate their wins as a couple (usually, anniversaries are big for this couple). they are very supportive of one another. this pairing knows how to have fun together, and they are often engaged in flirty banter. this couple is often hopeful of a long-term connection - they often get married to one another. frequently, someone loses their virginity in this connection, and/or they often have children together. make up sex is real in this connection - and they both are very generous towards one another in the bedroom. erotic devotion is very clear in the connection. negative aspects: sometimes people see these two as an old married couple - they bicker and give each other a hard time. sometimes, it might seem likely they are putting each other down. it may seem as though the feminine is extremely dependent on the masculine and as though they are trapped by the masculine in the connection. feminines may feel like they are forced into a submissive role in these connections. they might seem to want a lot of space from one another and could even sleep in two different bedrooms. it might seem as though the couple has given up on their own connection with one another.

venus-saturn

synastry: positive aspects: venus person often appreciates the saturn person's ambition and their determined attitude - venus person appreciates that they aren't quitters. venus person knows that one day saturn person will be what they want them to be and do what they want them to do because of their determination. saturn person is often very serious when it comes to building a solid foundation and future with the venus person. the saturn person is often very loyal towards the venus person and never would do something to them that would make them feel betrayed. saturn person has a sense of duty towards venus person and tends to do whatever it takes to please them and make them feel content and cared for in the connection. saturn person picks up on the venus person's habits/idiosyncrasies via self-other overlap. a masculine saturn person is often willing to submit to a feminine venus person. venus person knows that they can rely on the saturn person. saturn person often shares their customs with the venus person. saturn person is very patient with the venus person. negative aspects: venus person may feel that saturn person is hesitant to appreciate them the way they want them to. saturn person can feel apprehensive about getting into a relationship with a venus person. this is likely a relationship in which a saturn person represses and denies their admiration for venus person; whether this emotional admiration exists depends on the moon, while sexual/physical admiration depends on mars and pluto. venus person may not receive the commitment from the saturn person that they crave. saturn person may find they are repulsed by venus person post-coital encounter or say that all they can offer venus person is sex. (***TW***) venus person is likely to have their beauty diminished by the saturn person. saturn can represent disdain, grudges, harm, and hatred, while venus can represent the erotic and consent. this combination with a negative aspect, and depending on the tightness of the orb, can indicate the possibility of sexual assault done by the saturn person; see the story of priapus (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). venus person is unlikely to feel contented with the saturn person long term. if the venus person is masculine, they may be ungentlemanly and lose their chivalrous manner when in a more lowkey relationship with the saturn person - as the saturn person seems to lack gratitude for the venus person's manner and mannerisms. the venus person's immaturity in a romantic relationship may be emphasized due to the saturn person's inability to commit to them. venus person may propose to the saturn person, and the saturn person is likely to reject them. venus person may find saturn person boring after a while, and saturn person may find that venus person cannot be serious after a while. saturn person may fear a long-term connection with the venus person - they could feel as though they can't trust the venus person. saturn person may feel neglected in the connection. venus person may trigger the saturn person's previously experienced trauma to the point of a regressive episode. saturn person could feel rejected by the venus person.

composite: positive aspects: this is a great indicator of a monogamous relationship that is long-lasting. this couple often shares the burdens of life with one another. this couple is often so committed and proud of their coupling that they are the type to promote they are together (monograms, mrs. & mr. shirts, rings 24/7, etc). other couples are the "private but not secret" types that we frequently see on social media (pictures together without one of their faces in the image). negative aspects: this couple may be unappreciative of one another: kind gestures are often overlooked, they neglect one another, they don't seem affectionate/adoring of one another, etc. the couple likely doesn't know how to do nothing in peace with one another - they might not be capable of just relaxing with one another because it feels "awkward". this connection can be very short-lived in some cases because there is likely a lack of romantic commitment between them. (***TW***) there may be sexual aggression between the two (***END OF TW MATERIAL***) or a regret regarding coital interaction. there is likely a lack of honor/chivalry in the relationship - this relationship could present as immature and having plenty of arguments as neither partner is well suited for the other. the coupling could be built on the individuals' shared fear of being alone for the rest of their lives.

venus-uranus

synastry: positive aspects: uranus person may abruptly tell venus person that they like them. the uranus person is often very submissive to the venus person outside of the public's vantage point. often the uranus person is curious about the venus person and will do some sleuthing about them. venus person is typically touched by their interest and fandomship towards their brand. venus person often looks up to uranus person for their intelligence and generally is intrigued by their mind. the uranus person can be very prompt in communicating with the venus person. venus person tends to appreciate the uranus person's ability to be extremely honest in any situation. venus person often finds uranus person's unpredictability to be incredibly attractive. negative aspects: uranus person could cheat on the venus person in some cases. if they are married at that point, the uranus person frequently has to pay alimony to the venus person. venus person is often bossed around by the uranus person and most of the time that irks them. uranus person is known for having emotionally hurt ex-lovers that might get in the way of the uranus person having a successful relationship with the venus person. this is because often the venus person finds information where the uranus person has, for example, a string of texts in which their exes are asking to get back together with them or the exes are angrily messaging them. uranus person can very quickly change their mind about the venus person and withdraw completely from the connection - a lot of the time, this is one of those connections where they disappear with all their stuff taken from the house overnight or before the venus person gets home. uranus person can discover that the venus person was cheating on them, sort of like how hepheatus discovered aphrodite cheating on him. uranus person may be inconsistent when interacting with the venus person. often, the uranus person wants freedom in the relationship or for the relationship to remain inclusive/"open". the uranus person sometimes rejects the venus person's advances and can even be revulsed by the venus person in some cases.

composite: positive aspects: this coupling is quick to come together - one minute they are just friends, and in the next, they are in a committed relationship. in some cases, these two elope or have a "shotgun" wedding. these couples are open to experimentation and/or a third (fourth, fifth, sixth, etc.) person in the connection. this couple often has a healthy sex life, in which they frequently partake in coital relations. these two feel very lucky to have found one another because they share a lot of "unpopular opinions/views" regarding relationships. sometimes, this couple attempts a trial separation and comes back together stronger than before. negative aspects: sometimes there is some heavy drama in this connection where those involved are alleged "swingers", someone is cheating on someone, etc. not everything that you hear about this couple is always true - oftentimes, there is something worth uncovering about this connection. this relationship doesn't typically end cleanly - often, there are a lot of fights and dramatics. this is the couple in which one person wallpapers the room with text messages to show that they knew the other one of them cheated, someone slashes the tires of the other person's car, one person gets locked out and the other throws all their belongings out of the window, etc. sometimes an "illegitimate child" appears in this connection which causes strain. (***TW***) alternatively, it could be very difficult for this couple to become pregnant and have a successful birth (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). sometimes, these individuals are in a falsified relationship so they can get governmental benefits or security.

venus-neptune

synastry: positive aspects: venus person finds neptune person to be alluring and often finds their chaos and creature mind to be beautiful. the neptune person is the first to confess their feelings for the venus person. venus person can be fascinated by the neptune person. with the neptune person, the venus person can feel as though the relationship is the best one that they have ever been in. venus person can feel as though the neptune person is always reading their mind with how attentive they are towards the venus person. the neptune person is often very comfortable with being vulnerable toward the venus person. neptune person is very sympathetic towards the venus person. negative aspects: neptune person could be hiding a whole other relationship from venus person or could be merely cheating on the venus person in a more lax manner. neptune person is the type to disguise themself in public when with or without the venus person - they often want no one to know what they are up to in terms of their romantic relationships. this is likely to bother showy venus who wants everyone to know that they are in love with one another. neptune person tends to be too emotionally unpredictable for the venus person. the neptune person might be insecure about the connection with the venus person because they see the venus person as better than them. neptune person could be a poor wing person for venus person by misrepresenting who they are.

composite: positive aspects: these two tend to be addicted to one another. they often are the couple that will wear matching outfits or appear as though all that exists in the world is them as a couple. this couple tends to be sex-positive and might enjoy spicing up their sex life by making a tape together. this is one of those couples who are in a "private but not secret" relationship - they will post faceless pictures together, that they are going somewhere with "their love", etc. this relationship can feel almost dream-like or as though it is a fairytale. it can feel as though this couple reads each other's minds. a wedding between these two is always so beautiful because they write gorgeously, poetic vows to one another. negative aspects: there is a tendency for these two to become codependent on one another - they can't do things apart without one of them getting annoyed/angry/paranoid about the distance. this couple can be extremely chaotic - in a single day, they could be happy and holding hands, then in mere minutes, they could be arguing over a notification, then one could be threatening to move out, then they could be planning their next vacation together. both individuals can have a history of cheating and not being faithful to one another - so they are likely both suspicious of each other. (***TW***) one of the individuals in the connection might film the other, who may or may not know about the filming, during coital relations then leak the tape on the internet (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). often there is a scandal that arises from this relationship.

venus-pluto

synastry: positive aspects: the venus often feels alive around the pluto person. the pluto person has a gift in awakening the venus person to their surroundings and even who they are and what they are worth. very quickly this relationship becomes exclusive because most pluto people aren't comfortable with inclusive/"open" relationships. venus person is often content in this connection because the obsessive pluto person is willing to do anything they want to keep them happy. the pluto person is likely to treat the venus person like their queen/king. venus person is very grateful for the protective pluto person. negative aspects: pluto person doesn't tend to be trustworthy - they keep a lot of things to themselves and can even keep a sidechick or secret relationship from the venus person. because of this, the venus person should be careful where STIs/STDs are involved (use protection, get tested regularly, see their gynecologist regularly, etc). (***TW***) the pluto person often has an extremely high sex drive, and sometimes, in certain cases, the pluto person can not control their sexual impulses or simply enjoys the power they feel when having sex, so they might sexually assault the venus person (***END OF TW MATERIAL***). venus person tends to be more morally upholding than the pluto person - the venus person can sometimes find what the pluto person does to be "morally atrocious". the venus person is often baffled by what they learn from the pluto person, often it has to do with their obsessive nature or how they betrayed others or even the venus person. pluto people often hurt the venus person - frequently, this is physically or emotionally. venus person comes to loath the pluto person or view them as "evil". pluto person might degrade the venus person and make them feel bad about themselves physically and emotionally. pluto person often feels guilt that they aren't more helpful or better at being in the relationship with the venus person. venus person can feel like the pluto person lies to them very often - the pluto person often is lying to the venus person though they may attempt to gaslight the venus person to cover up their lies. venus person may want to marry the pluto person, but the pluto person may not believe in the institution of marriage.

composite: positive aspects: this is a power couple, and they know it. the couple is happy to exclusively date for a long time - they could keep their relationship on the down-low for a while as well. this is the couple who makes a lot of lewd jokes with one another, and often, you can see that they are comfortable around one another - they can make these jokes without feeling weird or without ignoring one another. they are generally just a super flirty couple. they are the type of couple that keeps each other's nudes in their wallets. sexually, there is often a component of BDSM in these relationships that brings life to their connection and makes both partners extremely pleased. this coupling, in general, reminds me of the smutty novels. this couple may even go to sex parties with one another for fun. negative aspects: this couple often meets unconventionally - on a date with other people, when they are dating someone else, etc. the relationship is typically not long-lasting - sometimes it feels like the relationship is like a vase of flowers that withers away day by day (beautiful and thoughtful at first then smelly, attracting bugs, and rotting away). this couple might have a difference of philosophies that gets in the way of this relationship progressing - for example, pluto can bring nihilism into the relationship "what is the point? nothing matters anyway." the relationship can't grow if both parties do not wish to work on it.

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imaginesheaven · 1 year

Text

Fem!Reader x TF 141 - Undercover Mission

It’s time to get out the badass playlist you have been saving to make you feel incredible while reading this ;)

Warnings: Badass reader and cursing

This particular mission is quite a pain in the ass. Especially for you. Laswell declared it as an undercover mission for you and one of the boys. But that evil woman did not tell you that you had to wear an incredible breathtaking dress to blend in.

No one on the base has ever seen you in different clothes than the usual cargo pants and shirts. The worst part? You have to walk in incredibly high heels through the whole base to the car that’s waiting for you.

“I swear to God I’m going to kill you, Laswell.”

John Price

With quite a grim face you walk through the base dolled up like never before in your whole life. To be honest it’s quite the confidence boost as all the tough men and women turn their heads to stare at you in disbelief.

Some of them run against walls or against each other not looking where they are actually going. A few of them let go of everything they have in their hands. Your absolutely horrific mood shoots up into the sky. Smiling you wink at little group of men as you walk past.

“Where is she? We need to get going”, John feels like he’s suffocating in his suit. Undercover missions are the worst if you have to wear formal clothes. “Keep cool, John. (Y/N) is a Lady. It takes time to get ready”, Laswell can see right through his poker face. The Captain is kind of nervous and the reason is for sure not the mission.

“Oh shit”, usually Kate is not the one to curse but she couldn’t help herself as she sees you coming closer. You looking incredibly breathtaking got a trail of lost men and women stumbling behind you like lost puppies. At least none of them is drooling.

For the first in forever John is at loss of words. He can feel how his ear tips start to get red and suddenly the collar of his button down gets tighter. How is he supposed to think straight when you are by his side looking like a literal goddess? This is going to be probably the hardest mission for him.

“(Y/N), you look absolutely gorgeous”, John tries to focus on your face even if the rest of your body is very distracting. “Just let get this over. I’m dying in this thing”, you let out a deep sigh hoping he can’t see the slight blush on your cheeks. The Captain is way too handsome in his suit.

His hand hovers over the small of your back guiding you to the cars. He doesn’t dare to touch your bare skin without your consent. What a gentleman, right? When you aren’t looking at him, Price throws death glares at the other soldiers to scare them away. They start to scramble away into different directions.

You are a Lady. You are his Lady.

“Have fun, kids. Don’t be back too late!”, Kate grins at them knowing exactly what she has done choosing the two of you for this undercover mission.

Simon Riley

You are in an incredibly bad mood as you stalk through the base with your high heels and backless dress. The stares from the other soldiers makes this whole situation worse. Your death glares keep them away yet they still keep hollering and catcalling. Not once in your entire life you have felt like this. A walking piece of meat.

Ghost has definitely the easier part since he has only to play your bodyguard. So, at least he is wearing normal clothes. He already knows how pissed you are going to be. This man prepares himself mentally for the fallout of your mood.

“There she is. Grim as always”, Price comments the situation quite amused. They are used to your resting bitch face, but now you have written murder on your face. Your facial expression doesn’t dull your beauty at all. Simon is thankful to wear his usual mask, because his face is red as a tomato.

Usually Ghost knows how to contain all his emotions yet his body betrays him on all levels. His hands start to get incredibly sweaty not knowing how to compliment your looks without getting killed in the next second.

“Hey, baby girl! Give me a smile that suits you much better!”, one of the soldiers yells stopping you dead in your walk. Something dark and dangerous twinkles in your eyes as you turn around slowly towards the man.

“Fucking hell, get her, Ghost, before she kills them”, Price orders needlessly because Simon is already on his way. Softly but with quite a grip he grabs your shoulders to guide you towards the car. You are actually not tossing and slashing at him, which makes his task rather easy, but you keep yelling out all the curse words you ever heard in your life.

“It’s okay. You will get your revenge when we get back from the mission”, Ghost knows how to soothe your raging soul with a few words. “Don’t you dare to break your promise”, you point your finger at him. A cocky smile on your lips stops his heart for a second.

“I literally don’t have a death wish, (Y/N)”, he closes the car door after you got into the vehicle. Of course, Simon looked away when the leg slit revealed way too much of your skin than he could take in this moment. Ghost takes a deep breath to calm himself and his racing heart down.

You are going to be the death of him.

John MacTavish

You are literally glowing wearing this dress with the matching high heels. Usually you are already overly confident, but now you are walking like you are owning this whole place. The soldiers on your way through the base don’t know what is actually hitting them. The mixture of the clothes and your confidence is incredibly hot.

No one dares to speak to you or do something stupid like catcalling or hollering. The soldiers are way too intimidated by your beauty. They know you are out of their league. You are otherworldly.

“Don’t make a fool out of yourself this time, Johnny”, Ghost stares at Soap as he nestles with his button up shirt. “You are never gonna drop that, right? It was one fucking time”, he gives Simon a goofy grin, but he returns it with his usual “you fucking serious?!”-glare.

Both turn their head at the same time to see you walking straight towards them with an incredible smile on your lips. Johnny fights the urge to stare at you with a gaping mouth and eyes big as saucers.

A part of him works on auto-pilot as he holds his hand out for you. Happily, you take it and swirl around for him to see you from all sides. It takes just a second and Soap is back to his old self burying the gentleman thousand feet under, “Don’t tell me you got some nice weapons hiding underneath.”

Ghost rolls his eyes annoyed by his stupid words. You give him your sweetest smile as you pull him closer at the collar of his shirt. His lips are so close to yours now, “I don’t need weapons, Johnny. I am the weapon.” To emphasize your statement you wink at him, before you let go of him and get into the car without any help.

“I told you don’t make a fool out of yourself…”, Ghost shakes his head slowly disappointed, but Soap’s mind is way too far away to register his words. His heart still beats oddly painful against his chest riding through the high of almost kissing you. The smell of your perfume lingers in his noise lulling him into fantasizing about your lips on his.

“Get in the car, Johnny”, you bring him back from his little dream world. With burning cheeks and ears from embarrassment he runs around the car. He’s trying not to think too much about spending the next few hours so incredibly close to you playing your lover. He’s probably going to get a heart attack very soon…

Kyle Garrick

Not caring about all the soldiers staring your way you keep walking through the base. It’s a mission like every other… Just in very elegant clothes… And playing a young married rich couple in their honeymoon phase with Gaz by your side. Just another Monday in your books like always.

Gaz fumbles around with his tie feeling like this thing is going to choke him in the next few seconds. Nervousness is eating away at him. Undercover missions are always particular dangerous and this time it’s just him and you.

“Calm down, kiddo. You are going to be fine”, Price puts his heavy hand on Gaz’s shoulder in a calming gesture. For a second Gaz actually calms down his racing heart, but then you stop in front of them.

The way you are standing in front of him hands on your hips, which are perfectly wrapped up in this tight dress of yours. Kyle can’t help himself but stare at you. Sweat starts to pool on his forehead and in his clammy hands. Since when do you look like a goddess?

“You look absolutely beautiful, (Y/N)”, Price gives you a fatherly smile showing how proud he is of you. “Thank you, Cap”, you turn around to Gaz to see what he has to say. His eyes are not searching for yours. They are definitely locked on the target. Your chest.

“My eyes are up here, Gaz”, you cross your arms in front of your chest making the target even more prominent. “I-I-I wasn’t... I wasn’t staring! I swear”, Gaz stumbles over his own words with a burning face full of embarrassment and shame. He probably can never look at you ever again.

“Way to go, buddy, way to go”, Price looks at him deeply disappointed by his non-gentleman behavior. Unimpressed you raise an eyebrow waiting for a better excuse. Gaz raises his hands in surrender”, I didn’t mean to! I-I … They looked at me first!”

Realization slowly sinks in. Doomed by his own words he gets into the car without a further word. Gaz will probably jump in front of the first bullet he can find.

“Go easy on him. We don’t want a broken Gaz”, John can’t help himself but smile. You only shrug one of your shoulders, “Can’t promise anything, Cap.” Like the true gentleman he is he helps you into the car, “Have fun, kids.” It’s going to be a very long mission…

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fillinforlater · 5 months

Text

Monday of Appreciation: Part 103

Hello everyone, Smite here!

It's award season, MAMA is literally right around the corner and there is a fuckton of snow outside right now. Hell yeah, what a time to come back and revive this series for another installment. Those of you who are still in NNN (respect, but also, you're lying, aren't you?), I dare you to read all of these smuts... not only those NNN themed, but also those quickies that make you -blast- just like that.

-1-

@capslocked: facesitting ft. Yujin

Caps to-go, what else could I say that describes the brilliance of this writer. He is the master of long form smut, mostly focused on one idol, intense interactions and build up and then so many fucking sex scenes, you'll lose your mind. There are rumors that a lot of people need a laughable amount of tries to get through the entire thing. Ehm.

Not for this one, like I said: Caps to-go, but the quality is still great. Also Yujin :floshed:

-2-

@ggidolsmuts: Post-match Activities ft. Heejin

My postmatch activities usually include turning off the TV in disappointment, rarely in triumph (LFG, T1), but a horny cheerleader right in my locker room would spur me on to do any sport, even fucking golf. Heejin in that outfit needed to be written and this Ddeun piece can be enjoyed even if you are short on time lol

-3-

@essentiallyleaf: belly bulge kink with Wonyoung

A very cute, heart warming set up for a big, fat finale right in Wony's pussy. God, to see her abs deform while you pound into her - good call though, to bulge her throat first. How tf do y'all do NNN again?

-4-

@oakparchment: No Nut November with Itzy

How would you fare if you desperately wanted to do NNN while being in a relationship with one of the Itzy girls? Well, this short "list" lays it out quite well, though I'd be a lot more pessimistic for you:

YOU WILL FAIL

-5-

@dnd-writes: Boulevard of Broken Dreams Pt. 1 ft. Kiss of Life (TW)

Eyo, I prompted that fic though I did not expect it to go so overboard and become this cruel, gut wrenching, yet eerily hot fic. All I wanted was to slap Natty's Na-titties, but it ended in ice dildos and overblown punishments. Not really complaining though. TW for non-con.

-6-

@sinswithpleasure: Hard And Fast, Just The Way They Like It ft. Dayeon, Hikaru

Did... did I write that? Really, that felt like a Maemi inspired BFH for Kep1er hotties, but it's out of the feather of Sins. Fricking Sins? Yeah, I'm so in, you have no idea how quickly I clicked on that and confirmed I wasn't in some fata morgana paralysis thingy. Very hot!

-7-

@capslocked: mutual masturbation ft. Wonyoung

This is Day 2 to Caps' kinkvember... but you probably knew that because it is fucking Wonyoung without really fucking Wonyoung, but it actually is and it is so hot.

Have a good week y'all, stay safe and be excellent to one another and every stranger <3

#mondayofappreciation #kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert #izone smut #male reader #male reader smut #ive smut #wonyoung smut #ahn yujin smut #kep1er smut #hikaru smut #dayeon smut #kiss of life smut #itzy smut #heejin smut #loona smut

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thebearer · 9 months

Note

hi e! back again with more carmy shit because i love the way you did my little blurb justice 🥰. i literally just envisioned sydney minding her own business and just recklessly placing carmy in the hot seat cause she knew his ass was gon get it 😂. i’m all in for more dom!carmy so i’d love to keep the idea going that his s/o works for/with/alongside him at the bear with a touch of her giving him her two cents? a little bit of sass to just remind who he’s dealing with 😩. maybe this time around he slipped up on something major (a birthday, anniversary, or something that overall was important to the reader and he put it off because in his mind the bear comes first). she’s been slowly driving him crazy with that silent treatment she’s been doing for the last few days and her less than a few syllabled words when he doesn’t remind her how irked he made her 😂; she’s not mad anymore just disappointed. and anyway basically in a prep for preordered to go’s on lunch rush he’s reading back orders to her and she completely writes him off. i can see him being like exactly how he when he’s not getting when he needs from his staff during a frenzy and flipping tf out. like you know when he repeats himself a second time as if you didn’t hear him the first he means it 😂. tysm in advance! please feel free to do whatever you’d like. i’m writing this at 6 in the morning so many ideas are coming into the fold. i hope you have a great day - 🥣.

ok i did sorta a different-ish take. same idea but i don't write the reader as a chef bc quite honestly i can't relate lmao i'm a horrendous cook lol. but silent treatment yes!! reader works at the bear but not a chef.

"Does anyone know where the extra napkins are? Mindy needs to be settin' tables." Carmen huffed, slamming the empty crate back in the back stock.

"That would be your missus' domain." Richie snickers, elbowing Fak lightly. "Guess you better go ask her, Cousin."

"Yeah? Fuck off. Thought it was your fuckin' job." Carmen grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Me? Fuck no, Cousin. You know who's job it is, c'mon." Richie grinned. "It's your wife, Carm. What? Scared to talk to your wife?"

Carmen sneered, huffing in annoyance, but the truth was... yes, he was a little scared. Especially with how furious you were at him. Carmen was a chronic over worker, barely taking time for himself. It was a constant fight between the two of you, one he'd gotten better at, but still struggled finding that balance. Which normally, you'd be more forgiving about.

Except it was your anniversary.

Carmen left you waiting at home, dressed up with a new lingerie set that he painfully didn't get to enjoy. By the time he got off, taking his time to clean the kitchen, prep for tomorrow's crowd, he looked at his phone and saw your texts and calls, his heart dropping.

You'd been giving him the cold shoulder since then, furious and hurt- or so he assumed, you wouldn't say anything.

Richie found the entire thing hilarious when Carmen told him. "You forgot your fuckin' anniversary? You jagoff, holy shit."

Carmen found it less than amusing. The tension in the restaurant was thick because of the two of you. Everyone teetering around you, but especially Carmen, he was more on edge now.

Pushing the door open to the office, Carmen ducked his head in, seeing you at his desk- your desk, technically, you used it more. "Hey, honey," Carmen's voice was soft, a sweet hum that had your spine straightening. He flinched lightly, stepping towards you. "D'you know where the extra napkins are?"

You didn't reply, simply typing on your laptop, editing a video for the social media page about the upcoming summer specials.

Carmen blinked, barking out your name in a much harsher than he meant to, but it seemed to work. Kinda. Your head whipped around, eyes in a burning glare when they met his, but your lips were still pressed together.

Carmen through his hands out in exasperation. "Are you bein' fuckin' serious with me?"

Richie made his way towards the table where Tina was doing prep, craning his neck to watch. Your lips twisted, glaring harshly at Carmen. Carmen huffed, a hand running over his forehead. "What do you want from me, huh? What? You're just never gonna speak to me again? I forgot, ok? I didn't mean to, I just fuckin' forgot! I was at work!"

You glared at him, feeling Richie's amused gaze from over Carmen's shoulder, the rest of the staff pretending to be busy to hear. "Shut the door." You snapped.

Carmen flinched, shocked. "What-"

"Shut the fuckin' door, now." You snapped, slamming your laptop, turning to face him. Carmen pressed the door shut, ignoring Richie's whines of "c'mon, Cousin, it was just gettin' good!".

The two of you stared, neither being the first to talk, not wanting to break. You huffed, rolling your eyes in annoyance. "You wanted to talk, talk, Carmen. I've got shit to do."

"Hey," Carmen's eyes flashed at you, his tone hard with an edge of warning. "You better watch your-"

"-No, you better watch your mouth with me. Watch what you say to me, Berzatto." You snapped, pointing a finger at him. "This isn't a fuckin' game, alright? I'm mad at you. Actually fuckin' mad at you."

Carmen's stomach turned, swallowing the guilt rising with the bile in his throat. "I... I'm sorry-"

"-Sorry isn't going to work this time, Carmen. It's always sorry. Always I didn't fuckin' mean to, I got busy." You snapped, arms wrapping over your torso. "You always do this, but our anniversary? You forgot our anniversary?"

"No, I didn't forget." Carmen ran a hand down his face. "I got you flowers and-and the bracelet-"

"-And that was very nice, Carmen, but you weren't there." You snapped, the finality in his tone making his rebuttal dissolve in his mouth. The hurt in your eyes, rounding and pitiful, soft and pleading with him. You were angry, but you were hurt, too.

His shoulders deflated, breath leaving his lungs. "You're right," Carmen nodded slowly. "No, you're-you're right, and-and-and I'm... Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby." Carmen said sincerely, eyes shining with sincerity. "I... I got caught up and I-I shouldn't have even been working that day, I just..."

"I know." You muttered, looking down at the desk, a framed picture of the two of you in Copenhagen at your wedding ceremony. Carmen in his suit, you in your dress, happy and smiling with the breathtaking scenery behind you.

Carmen could feel the guilt growing in his chest, palms sweating and heart racing, the panic to fix it- to do something. "How much longer do you have?" Carmen asked, nodding towards your laptop.

"Just a few more things to edit." You looked at your paused work. "Why?"

"Let me... Let me make it right." Carmen sighed, shaking hands fumbling towards his apron.

"Carmen, you can't leave-"

"-Yeah, yeah, I can." Carmen nodded, pulling the door out and calling for Sydney. "Can you cover tonight, Chef?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I can." Sydney nodded.

"I got it too, Cousin-" Carmen shut the door before he could hear Richie's full comment, sure something smart ass would be included.

"Let's go out." Carmen looked at you. "A make up. Please?"

You folded your arms, pouting lightly. "'m not dressed for going out."

"What're you talkin' about? You look beautiful, c'mon." Carmen shook his head lightly at you, shoving his clothes into his bag, pulling out his spare.

You tried not to drool at the sight of his chest. You'd missed him, you really had. It was a shame the lingerie went to waste.

Carmen pulled you out of the restaurant, hand on your waist, holding you close to his side. It wasn't the fancy reservations you'd planned, no Michelin star restaurants with expensive wine. No, instead, he took you to some a rooftop restaurant, one with the vibey aesthetic you always cooed at on Instagram. Sitting and sharing pretzels and greasy food, snuggled into Carmen's side while he ordered dessert. Giggling when he fed you the brownie sundae, tilting your head back with his fingers cradling your jaw lightly. It was simple, romantic, and fun. Made your heart swell, clinging to him the whole way home.

And when you got home? Carmen was in heaven. Letting you show him what he missed a few days earlier.

#thebearer #bearblahs #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fic #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #carmy x reader #richie jerimovich #sydney amadu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #carmy berzatto fluff #the bear fx

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elliesflower · 1 year

Text

i hate u [abby anderson]

pairing; abby x afab!reader

word count; 3.8k how tf did that happen

cw; language, mentions of death, angst (like, so much angst), enemies to lovers, eventual smut

summary; abby has always had it out for you. the feeling was mutual.

until it wasn't.

an; hiiii, it's me, providing you with the abby content i'm devoid of. i love this buff lesbian woman so fucking much.

read pt 2 here!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT OR I'LL CRY (and as always read it on AO3 here <3)

there were much more productive ways you could be spending your time. you could be, i don’t know—literally doing anything else other than being forced to clean these goddamned bathrooms.

it’s not that you didn’t mind cleaning, no. in fact, under ideal circumstances, cleaning could actually be fun for you. there was just a big problem with who it forced you into a room with this time. with her stupid long french braid, and her absurdly large muscles—like seriously, what the fuck was she showing off for? we’re killing scars, not for training for the fucking rapture.

“you know, if you move the mop in a back-and-forth motion, it would actually clean the floors.”

to put it quite plainly, abby doesn’t like you. you said left, she had to say right; you say go, she had to say stop—the mutual loathing was just routine at this point, it came almost as natural as breathing. surely it didn’t help that the two of you were typically sent on assignments that involved being together for far too many hours at a time. rarely was it made only slightly better by the presence of someone else, another body to diffuse even an ounce of the tension that hung between the two of you like a rope.

you scoffed at her juvenile insolence, though you started mopping again nonetheless. “trust me, i don’t want to be here any longer than i have to. i have shit to do,” you jeered, making it a point to look down at the ground, watching the soapy water spread across the tile. not at the way her muscles—have you mentioned they’re absurdly large?—flexed as she wiped down the counter with bleach.

“oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t realize i was keeping you from something!” abby exclaimed, feigning ignorance. “by all means, you run off and do whatever it is you have to do, and i’ll just finish this little punishment all by myself.”

you had to bite back a bitter laugh, instead choosing to shake your head at the ground, your mopping becoming just a little bit more aggressive with each stroke. you chose to ignore it. you almost had her completely tuned out of your mind, until you didn’t.

“it’s not like i was the one who just let that scar go.” that stopped you dead in your tracks.

abby has said a lot of things to you. a lot of untrue things. a lot of hurtful things, even. and again, it was entirely possible you could have even ignored that. but then you looked up—and you saw her stupid, imprudent fucking smirk, and it was over. “you know what abby?” you started, throwing your mop. you didn’t even have the energy to smile at the way she flinched when the wooden handle hit the ground with a loud bang. she played it off quickly, though, raising an eyebrow and leaning back against the counter. you didn’t expect the sudden lump in your throat.

“fuck you.”

the words didn’t come out exactly like you’d hoped. maybe there was a slight hesitation, the faintest crack between the syllables, a single tear threatening to spill down your cheek—but you meant it, wholeheartedly.

fuck abigail anderson.

you couldn't bother to give her even a second thought as you turned on your heel, ignoring her calls of your name from behind you. perhaps a bit childish, but you slammed the door extra hard on your way out.

let that scar go? is she fucking for real?

you were so tired of having to prove your place here to her. isaac sent you both on the same assignments, he trusts you just as much as her to do his most important jobs, but it never seems to be good enough. whether it was jealousy or stubbornness, you could never be quite sure.

time and time again you’ve tried to make nice with abby; you had actually wanted to be friends with her—the jaunty girl who never seemed to let her past slow her down, taking every opportunity to crack a sarcastic joke and practically jumping in front of bullets for the people she loved—you’d tried to spark friendly conversation, volunteered to take some of her extra assignments, even offered her a book you’d overheard her mentioning she wanted to read that you just happened to have on your bookshelf, but it was all futile. she wanted nothing to do with you, like your presence alone was a personal inconvenience. so, naturally, you stopped trying—yet, the two of you almost always somehow ended up in the same room together, whether it was a drunken night in leah and nora’s room, or cleaning bathrooms as a stupid punishment.

but one, one little slip up and that’s all it took. you took your eyes off that scar for a split fucking second, and now she’ll never let you live it down. you were furious, angry tears clouding your vision as you stormed away, down the hallway and practically sprinting up the stairs to your room.

she can clean that bathroom all by herself, you thought as you fumbled to get your keys out of your pocket, dropping them on the ground in your haste. “fuck!” you exclaimed, bending down to pick them up, searching for the small silver key on the ring.

“there you are,” a sudden voice from behind startles you enough that you flinch, dropping your keys again. of fucking course.

“go away abby,” you practically snarl, wiping away the wetness on your cheeks with your palm before she could see. despite your weak protest, you could hear her heavy footsteps getting closer as you finally unlocked the door, pushing it open and slipping inside.

“oh, come on,” abby was right on your heels, pressing a hand against the door and preventing it from fully closing behind you. your eyes felt like they might roll into the back of your head.

“i’m sorry, what part of ‘go away’ was unclear to you?” you snapped, turning around to glower at her through the small crack in the doorway. her arm strength was incredible, she was barely leaning against the door as you pushed with an embarrassing amount of effort to try and close it on her. what you lacked in brawn, you pride yourself in making up for with brains—yet another reason it was already embarrassing enough that you fucked up, now she was practically rubbing it in your face.

abby’s eyes held a look you couldn’t quite understand. no way she was apologetic, but her face held a certain softness to it you’d never quite seen before. usually her face was all rigid lines and sharp angles, clenched jaw and guarded eyes, especially with you. it was rare for her to smile around you, now that you thought about it.

“can we talk?” abby asked, and her voice was almost…pitiable. her eyes were low and her pink lips parted slightly. it was unnerving. she never asked you for anything, let alone to talk. your eyes flickered across her face, trying to make sense of what she was really trying to say, beneath the surface.

but there was really nothing to say to that. no, you wanted to scream, no we can’t fucking talk, fuck you, and i never want to talk to you again. but you said nothing, instead shaking your head and turning away, letting the door swing open against the pressure of her hand.

“why do you hate me so much?” your mouth was moving before your brain could catch up, arms crossing defensively over your chest, though you were no longer facing her.

“why do i hate you?” she scoffed, and you heard the door closing softly.

“yes, why?” you spun around to face her now—she still stood near the door, that same indecipherable expression painted on her face. you avoided her eyes, but noted the way her nose twitched ever so slightly. “ever since i stepped foot in this stadium you’ve had it out for me, and no matter how hard i try, i can’t understand why,” oh fuck, the anger was coming back up, rising in your throat like bile, “is it because i don’t put up with your shit anymore?”

“no,” abby gritted out, taking a step toward you. “listen, i—”

“because i see right through your little act?” you cut her off and wow, she was fuming now, chest rising and falling heavily as she clenched her fists together. “stop it, i’m trying to—”

but you couldn’t stop, even if you didn’t mean it, “‘ooh poor me, my dad died and now i’m stronger because of it, and everybody loves me,’” the words stung in your mouth, and in your eyes, “‘i’m isaac’s top scar killer but i have a heart of gold,’” tears falling as you stomped toward her, “well good for fucking you abby. i’ve lost a lot of people too but you don’t see me acting like i’m better than everyone.”

you couldn’t help it, you were pushing her before you knew it, right in the chest with as much strength as you could muster, and she wasn’t expecting it because she stumbled backwards into your bookshelf, a picture frame falling and shattering on the ground before she caught her footing.

you looked her right in the eyes for the first time since she had entered your room, uninvited, and all you saw was flames, burning through her blue irises like wildfire. you stepped back, wide-eyed and disoriented, her figure nothing more than a blurry silhouette in front of you. her heavy breathing was all that you could hear, it consumed you, made you dizzy as you staggered backwards, that ineffable sadness reaching into your chest and squeezing around your heart, fuck, how does she do this to you?

“for fucks sake, would you just listen?” abby’s asked suddenly. her voice was rough around the edges, chipped away by your words—you couldn’t look at her, it was too much, a sob escaping your throat before you could stop it. why did you say that to her? she was reaching toward you before you could say another word, you half expected her to hit you, to strangle you, to say fuck you and never speak to you again, but then her calloused fingers were gripping your forearm.

“abby,” your voice was pathetic, broken and whiny, god, you were completely out of control. you let your arm go limp, watching as her hand practically burned an impression into your skin as she pulled you into her chest. you were overwhelmed by her scent, that fucking pine soap she always hoarded and faintest hint of bleach that burned your nose, reminding you of what started this in the first place.

no, this couldn’t be real life, there was no way you were crying in front of abby, your biggest vulnerabilities tumbling from your lips like an avalanche, but her arms were there, wrapping around your shoulders like a blanket as her head fell into the crook of your neck. you couldn’t tell whose heart was beating faster, her pulse pounding against your ear as your arms hung limp by your side. your brain was absolutely spinning trying to figure out what to make of this, a few loose strands of her braid hair tickling the side of your cheek as you shifted your head.

“i’m sorry,” her strained voice bled down your neck, sending a shiver down your spine, her breath hot against your shoulder as she tightened her grip. instinctively, you wrapped your arms around her waist, giving in to her touch, her apology washing over you like a humid rain in the summer—you’d waited so long just to hear those two little words, but it felt wrong somehow. “i’m sorry,” she repeated, quieter now, though you were probably the one who should be saying that.

“abby,” you found yourself saying again, squeezing your eyes shut as you leaned into her, feeling the tightness of her back muscles flex as you flattened your hands against her back, oh god, what the fuck is happening right now? “i didn’t mean that,” you whispered, muffled slightly against her shirt. the words i’m sorry usually came easy to you, often apologizing for things that didn’t warrant one in the first place, but the words were harder to get out somehow in this moment, pressed against the fabric of her shirt.

her grip on you loosened, her arms sliding down your back and she was gone in an instant, turning away, clasping her fingers together and bringing them to the back of her neck.

“i don’t hate you,” but she couldn’t face you, dropping her arms to her hips as she looked at the ground. you watched the anxious tapping of her foot and it felt like you couldn’t breathe—isn't this what you wanted? to be friends, or at the very least, for her to not hate you? maybe then, but not now. “i’m intimidated.” she was quiet, turning to face you. the orange glow of the lamp cascaded over her face, painting her in the softest form you’d ever seen her in.

“intimidated?” you were taken aback, furrowing your brow. “by me?” you shook your head, incredulous at her sudden confession. what could she possibly be intimidated by? “abby, you’re-” you gestured at her, unsure of what to say. “-you could probably snap me in half if you wanted to, i-i don’t understand-”

“oh trust me, i know,” abby cut you off, scoffing, and fuck, she just couldn’t help herself could she? you were mortified she’d caught you in a moment of weakness, you were angry, you were so fucking confused. your pity quickly soured, tears dried up in an instant, the disdain seeping back into your skin like a parasite—no matter how many times the two of you got close to reconciling, it always went wrong somehow. it had felt different this time, but maybe you were wrong.

“abby, i swear to god i-”

“okay, okay, i’m sorry,” she softened again, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “old habits die hard, am i right?”

you squinted at her, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “does this really seem like the time to be making a fucking joke? because the door is right there,” you made a show of pointing at the door before turning to sit on the chair behind you, bending over to take off your boots. anything to avoid looking her in the eye.

“fuck, i’m sorry, i don’t know how to talk to you about this,” she was walking towards you now, and you didn’t bother to look up. she sat opposite you in the mismatched chair, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. you looked up at her through wet lashes as you pulled your boots off, tossing them haphazardly to the side. she looked just as confused as you felt, brows furrowed in frustration—nothing about this felt normal, or okay.

“what i’m trying to say is that i’m sorry,” she started, dropping her head to look at the ground.

“you said that already,” you noted dryly, scooting back in the chair and pulling your knees to your chest protectively. she laughed, but it didn’t sound bitter.

“i’m sorry, for everything,” abby looked at you now, and your breath hitched. “for how i’ve acted around you. for the way i’ve treated you, the things i’ve said. all of it,” her eyes were full of sorrow, and it made her look a way you’d never seen before—vulnerable, fragile, empty. “right after you moved onto the base, leah told me about what you’ve been through, losing your parents and your brother, being forced into that military school, and still fighting to get here all the way from boston. if i’m being honest, i was jealous that you could take it all in stride.”

you could do nothing but stare at her, wide-eyed and dumbstruck.

“from the minute you got here, you were so calm and collected, ready to help anyone who needed it. you were constantly volunteering for extra assignments, helping out in the classrooms, doing all the work that no one else wanted to do with a smile on your face…i know we all have a past but i never could’ve guessed yours,” she let her head fall again, clasping her hands together and taking a deep breath, “and god, you’re so fucking smart, like there’s no way you learned all the shit you know about history at that dumb military school.”

your mouth fell open slightly, trying to process her words. first, an apology, and then a compliment? no smart-ass comments, no snarky look, no just kidding. you’d never even talked with her about your love of history that much, let alone your family.

“abby,” you started, pulling your knees tighter to your chest. your brain and your mouth were fighting over what to say, the years of dissention between the two of you threatening to surface—but she seemed genuine. bouncing her leg up and down, abby continued to avoid your gaze as she picked at her cuticles.

“when i first got here, i was a mess.” she cut you off. “i could barely eat or sleep, i hid in my room whenever i wasn’t out on an assignment, and i didn’t care about anyone or anything. it took me months to get past it all and then you came along, so open and easygoing, even after everything you’ve been through…i was embarrassed.”

“everybody handles grief differently,” you said quietly, putting your feet back on the ground. she looked up at you, and her cheeks were wet. you swallowed thickly. “i wasn’t always that happy behind closed doors.”

abby frowned slightly. she was quiet now, pensive as she held your gaze. your cheeks burned under the scrutiny, and you wanted to shrink into the chair. less than an hour ago you had all the intention in the world of never speaking to abby again, and now she was sat, taking up space in your room, and your mind, fuck, how was she always on your mind?

“that still doesn’t explain why you were so mean to me,” you broke the silence after taking another second to process her words, and tears were clouding your vision again.

“yeah, if i’m still being honest, i don’t really have an explanation for that either. or, not a good one, at least,” she at least had the decency to look sheepish, leaning back and scratching her neck lightly. “i guess because i was so intimidated by the way you handled yourself, i just defaulted to…jealous rage?” she sounded unsure, and you scoffed.

“wow,” you said. “you’re right, that is a terrible explanation,” you shook your head, leaning back to match her pose. she laughed again, looking up to the ceiling, and it sounded foreign.

“i’m not the best with words,” she smiled weakly, a blush creeping up her neck.

“trust me, i could tell by all your elementary insults.”

“hey, didn’t i just say i was sorry?”

you smiled back at her now, against your better judgment. the two of you had spent the past three years practically at each other’s throats, and a simple i’m sorry i was mean to you because i don’t know how to handle my emotions was supposed to fix it all?

“i meant it though,” abby said softly now, eyes boring into yours. “i’m sorry. for everything.”

you held her gaze a moment longer, but had to look away. you had to, before she could see that you were caving, that all you’ve ever wanted to hear was that—that you wanted to just talk to her without always being on guard, that you wanted to know her favorite music and what she really thought about all of manny’s sexcapades and if she ever took her hair down from that goddamn french braid and— “you don’t have to forgive me. not right now, anyways. i just hope that one day you can.”

and then she was standing up, your eyes followed up her torso as she stood, smoothing her shirt down before giving you another weak smile and heading for the door. oh god, fuck, fuck all of this, “abby, wait,” you were up and after her in a heartbeat, grabbing her forearm just as she had yours earlier, forcing her to turn around. she looked surprisedly, first at your face, then down at your grip on her forearm, which you quickly dropped when you felt your heart skipping a beat. her eyes were wild, tired and full of anguish.

before you could talk yourself out of it, you were practically throwing yourself at her, arms wrapping around her torso as you pressed your cheek into her chest. she stumbled only briefly, before you felt her arms envelope your shoulders once more. this time, it didn’t feel wrong.

it felt like coming home.

“i really shouldn’t have said that thing about your dad,” you said, but it was muffled in her shirt.

you felt her laugh rumble in her chest before she squeezed you tighter, her head lowering into your neck so that you felt her lips on your shoulder as she spoke. “yeah, that was pretty fucked up.”

you smiled into her, and god, this was all fucked up. the world was fucked up, and out of it was born you and abby—two fucked up people making fucked up choices that lead to some pretty fucked up consequences.

she pulled back from you, but kept her hands on your shoulders. you took a fistful of her shirt, looking down to avoid her eyes. your stomach was flipping, the heat radiating from her body overwhelming you and making you feel dizzy. “can you forgive me?”

and yeah, that was maybe your fucked up, roundabout way of telling abby, i do forgive you, but she seemed to understand. when you dared to look back up, she dropped a hand, and the other came to softly caress your cheek. she looked at you tenderly, the rough pad of her thumb wiping away a tear you hadn’t even noticed.

“of course i can.”

and then there was only the sound of your heart thrumming in your ears, her quickened breath as she looked at you in a way you’d never seen before. you gripped her shirt tighter, lips parting slightly as you felt the weight of her hand against your cheek. you leaned into it, eyes slipping closed for a moment.

“abby,” you whispered, your free hand coming up to hold hers in place against your cheek.

“shh,” she shushed you softly, and you could sense her getting closer. you didn’t dare open your eyes, heat pooling in your stomach as you felt her breath fanning across your face.

“don’t speak.”

her lips pressed against yours so softly that for a moment, you wondered if you were dreaming.

#abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby x reader #abby x you #abby anderson smut #the last of us part 2 #i love abby anderson w my whole heart #also thank u to mia for reading most of this and reassuring tf out of me

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olivianyx · 3 months

Text

WAKE UP CALL CUS Y'ALLS THICK ASS SKULLS NEED IT

⚠️ tough love rant, I prob won't be nice to y'all atp, swearing ⚠️

Y'all better stop asking others to manifest for you. Like wtf? You're the fucking creator. Tf are you asking to create it for the creator?? You're God. Just stop whining and complaining. Omfg just stop. Who said you can't manifest? Who said you can't have all the things you desire?? Nobody but you. Like aren't you stupid asshole just tired of that shitty life you're living?? How long are you gonna fucking live this life? It doesn't even benefit you, and you dumbass just keep complaining and thinking about the same old story again and again, and are repeating the same shit again in the 3d 🤦‍♀️ but still would go on complaining and complaining. Who's the ultimate power in here? YOU.

If you don't keep your thoughts in check and change your reality, who else will? You think a prince Charming or Flynn rider or Marilyn Monroe or mulan will walk into your life and change your entire destiny?? Gross. You're the one in charge and you should work on your mind set. You are the ultimate problem. And with this mindset you're never going anywhere but stay in the same loop until fAtE decides what's gonna happen to you. BULLSHIT. You only gotta work on your mindset alone. Like you don't have to climb the goddamn mount Everest or run 40 miles or do 1000 pushups a day to change yourself. Tf, you only just need to ignore unwanted thoughts and feed in thoughts which is favourable and live in the end, keep yourself fulfilled, that's it. No more bullshit.

Is it that hard?? Like just switching a thought with something favourable is hard? Bitch don't gimme that shit anymore. Trust yourself and move on. You are the only problem here. You don't focus on improving yourself and tell others to manifest or affirm for you. Like tf??? Why tf would you give free will to someone else that's not you? Why do you trust that person so much that you don't trust yourself? Nobody's gonna come with you till the end. Everybody and everything is a chapter and it'll keep moving forward, and you'll still be left behind still figuring out what went wrong.

STOP. JUST. STOP. STOP WITH THAT AND DECIDE THAT YOUR DESIRES ARE HERE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING ON IN YOUR FAVOUR.

Even if you're doing everything and nothing is working out, you haven't fulfilled yourself internally and just forcing the 3d to change. Wtf? You know the 3d obeys the 4d, then why are you inducing disgusting thoughts in the 4d and expect something like a miracle to happen in the 3d?? Make it make sense. You dumb dip shit, I'm gonna slap you in your dreams. I mean you're really dumb. Like just think whatever you want is already yours and it is. Cus the 3d should obey. Like whatever tf you want to happen is possible. Everything is possible. You ugly ass bitch just stop with that complaining and just go do whatever you want to change your thoughts.

Just fucking decide that whatever you want is already yours. It doesn't matter at all. The past doesn't matter at all. What you did 10 years ago doesn't matter. What you did 5 months ago doesn't matter. What you did 4 minutes ago doesn't matter. Only now exists. No past, no future. Just the present moment and that motherfucking concept called time doesn't fucking exist so stop stressing about that shit. Just decide. Bitch just decide that you just have what you want and the past doesn't matter. Just fucking be as if you already have it, don't stress about it. Suppose you have your phone with you, do you affirm for it everyday that it's yours? Or visualize? Hell no. Your phone is just yours. How do feel about it? Actually you'd feel nothing, you just KNOW it's yours. The same concept here you absolute idiot.

If you forgot to do sats, or you didn't affirm or if you wavered 3 minutes ago, or you had negative thoughts, like bitch those things don't matter as long as you come back to the track. It doesn't matter. Stop fucking stressing about methods or affirming. You already have it. Get that shit into your skull. I don't care what you do, I want y'all to start it today, start now. Just decide that's it. You're so dumb that you don't even make mental efforts that lead you to experiencing miracles dumbass. You're like really really dumb that I'm done. Like gimme a break.

JUST FUCKING DECIDE LIKE RN THAT YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, AND WHATEVER YOU'RE STRESSING ABOUT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRES BITCH.

Like why would you assume that nothing is changing?? There's always movement and you dumbass don't notice it. Even if you see that there's no movement, that's because you idiot assumed there wasn't any. You gotta take matters in your own hand you dip shit. Don't fucking get triggered by the 3d cus it's just your older thoughts and nothing else. Your new thoughts that you focus on should also be reflected in the 3d like instantly. There's no time in between, like really fuck that shit. The minute you affirm, it's already manifested in the 4d bitch. You don't gotta stress at all you dumb ass. The 4d is the ultimate reality. You just gotta be fulfilled here. How? By LIVING AS IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT OR LIVING IN THE END. The 3d will catch up as you remain fulfilled in the 4d, like almost instantly. Is this a harder concept to understand?? For example, you wear a green dress and look in the mirror, you see the reflection wearing green dress too. Cus it's a fucking mirror and it shows you what you wear. Suddenly you wanna wear a purple dress, and you change your dress and look in the mirror and the mirror shows you purple dress cus you're wearing it. THE SAME FUCKING CONCEPT HERE. THE GREEN DRESS IS THE 4D AND THE MIRROR IS THE 3D. YOU CHANGE THE 4D (DRESS) FIRST IN ORDER TO SEE DRESS YOU'RE WEARING IN THE MIRROR (3D). HOWEVER, YOU GOTTA CHANGE THE DRESS TO SEE THE CHANGE IN THE REFLECTION. What y'all do is, go fucking break or beg the mirror to show you that you're wearing a purple dress when infact you're still wearing the green one 🙄🤦‍♀️ and complain that it's not showing what you want. Like which planet are exactly from?? Like tf is wrong with your dumbass brain?? Make it make sense. Change the dress and go see the changed reflection of the dress.

Just fucking stop with that bullshit and go fucking have whatever you want. You're God. Like what validation do you fucking need?? You're the validation. Your validation is enough. If your desires don't manifest instantly or like in less than a day, then you aren't fulfilling yourself internally. You aren't fulfilled yet. Cus it's impossible for the delay. Time doesn't exist. There's no fucking delay. It should be instant. Like just fulfill yourself, do whatever you think works. Don't go so something someone posted on the internet and complain about not getting results dumbass. You already have it all. You're the main character, so stop behaving like a stray dog.

Peace out <3

#wake up call #law of assumption #neville goddard #advaita vedanta #non dualism #voidstate #reality shifting #Spotify

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ragingbookdragon · 3 months

Text

Make Me Sway

1930's TF 141 x Reader

Word Count: 2.6K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: I have so many AUs planned but @temeyes said run with this one so I shall :) -Thorne

**********************************************************************

She wakes with a startle, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling which turns into an unfamiliar room. Fancy, obviously a wealthy owner, the room’s almost as big as her entire apartment. She sits up and blinks, looking down at herself—still dressed in the clothes she was in last night, save her shoes.

“Finally awake?” Her head swivels to the side to see a young man standing with a calm smile on his face. “Hi, I’m—”

She scrambles off the bed, puts it between them and she looks around for an exit to flee from.

“Woah, calm down, I’m not going to hurt you.”

He takes a step closer, and she reacts, grabbing the lamp from the bedside table, yanking it from the wall and flipping it upside down to use as a weapon. He snorts, trying to hide it and puts on a firm look. “Will you—will you please put the lamp down?”

“W-where am I?” she asks, keeping the bed still between them; she waves the lamp at him. “Who are you?”

“My name is Kyle and you’re here at my boss’s mansion.”

“Where is here?”

“Just a few miles out of New York City. Countryside.”

“Oh, Jesus,” she says in shock and when he takes another step, she waves the lamp and moves to the end of the bed. “Back! Get back!”

Kyle throws his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, easy. I’m not going to hurt you, I swear.”

She looks around the lavish room, it’s green, calming, the wood is cherry, and she breathes in the scent of lavender. “Why am I here?”

“I can’t answer that,” he says and takes a cautious step forward. “But I can get my Captain so he can. He told me to watch you until you woke and take you to him when you did.” He looks at her, deep brown eyes firm but kind, trusting. ��I can take you to him, but I need you to put the lamp down before you hurt yourself.” She lets him get close, hands him the lamp. “That’s a good girl. Now—”

He starts talking but she lowers her gaze to the gun sitting in his between his pants and shirt, tucked neatly at his hip; it only takes a split second to decide, and she yanks the revolver from him and points it at him as she backs up and now, he looks even more worried.

“Easy,” he says the word lowly, a warning; looks at her shaking hands. “You don’t even know how to shoot a gun, I reckon.”

“I can learn,” she retorts with a wavering confidence. “I’ve learned a lot by doing in the moment.” She thinks of all the things she’s learned in the nursing ward she’s been in for the last two years.

“Why don’t we—”

The gun aims over his shoulder and a blast rings out in the room as the glass picture on the wall shatters.

“Christ!” he shouts, ducking. “Are you fucking mad! You could’ve fucking shot me!”

“No, but I’m sure I still have a few rounds in the chamber,” she replies. “Perhaps you should go get your Captain, hmm?” she waves the gun to the door. “Run along.”

Kyle lifts his hands over his head and backs up slowly to the door. “Crazy, fucking bat—” he hurries out and she lowers the gun, hyperventilating, tucking herself into the corner; a quick look out the window dismays her idea to jump out the window—she’s on the second floor high up.

It’s only a few minutes before a knock sounds on the door and she lifts the gun again as a calm, deep voice comes through. “Can I come in?”

She swallows thickly and backs closer to the corner. “I have a gun!”

“I’m well aware,” the voice replies humored and in steps an older man, early forties, clean kempt and clean shaven, light brown and dusting gray mutton chops; his eyes are soft, a bit crow-footed around the edges, times of worry and weariness evident, but his expression and body language appear non-threatening. “Gave my Sergeant quite a wake-up, didn’t you, love? I’ve always loved a woman not afraid to make her peace,” he notes with a grin, and she can’t help but let out a startled laugh.

She watches as he walks over to the table in the corner and plucks two hardwood chairs up and sets them down in the middle of the room, followed by a small table from the window; he sets them a distance away, a safe distance and sits down in the chair closest to the door.

“Care to sit?”

“Not particularly,” she says and waits for him to speak, but he doesn’t, only smiles when the door opens and in steps the same young man but he’s holding a silver tray with a tea kettle and a few small cups.

“Tea, Captain,” he murmurs and sets it down on the table before leaving.

“Thank you, Kyle,” he says and looks at her. “You look awfully taut, love, come have some tea and we’ll sit a while and discuss what’s going on.”

She looks at it dubiously. “And how do I know you haven’t poisoned it?”

He blinks and pours himself a cup before blowing and taking a sip. “Wouldn’t drink it, would I?” He can tell she wants to argue but doesn’t know what to say and he smiles, nodding to the chair a few feet from him. “You’re confused, scared, and untrusting. Take a seat and I can help clear up some of those for you.”

“You’re not going to hurt me?” it’s a stupid question to ask really, naïve even, but still, she can’t help it.

He laughs. “If I was going to hurt you, I wouldn’t have you up here in my guest bedroom.”

She purses her lips and tips her head side to side; can’t argue with that. Taking a seat, she lets him pour a cup.

“Sugar?”

“Two, please.”

He nods. “Sweet love, aren’t you?” handing her the cup, he holds out his hand. “May I have Sergeant Garrick’s gun back, please?” His tone is kind, but it’s obvious he’s a man who isn’t to be argued with and she hands the gun over. “Thank you, love.”

She holds the cup in her lap, watching the steam waft up to her face. “Where am I?”

“At my mansion just outside of New York.” He takes a sip. “First, I’d like to offer my sincerest apologies for what occurred last night and how you unfortunately were involved.”

It takes a second and her memory flashes.

The guns went off before she realized what was happening, bullets ringing from over the street. One of their faces appears in her vision and then other faces, fingers pointing at her and she felt her heart drop into her stomach as she picks her bag from the ground and ran down the alley.

It’s only a moment before a weight like a train hits her back and she falls to the ground, sliding in dirt and grime behind the dumpster as she scrambles for her bearings. A cocking echoes and she looks over, the barrel of a gun in her face and she pleads with the man, “Please, please, I don’t want to die!”

He curses at her, screaming and then he looks down the alley he came in from and curses again, running off, but not before yanking her bag up and taking off with it.

Two more men run to her, and she slips in the watery mud as she tries to get up and run, but then one of the men’s arms are around her waist.

“Hold it, lass!” She starts screaming, and then his hand is over her mouth. “Stop fucking screaming! You tryna call the fuzz!”

His hand is over her nose, and she thrashes wildly in his grip as oxygen shorts from her lungs.

“Careful, Johnny,” the other warns. “Price’ll be livid if you kill her.”

Her vision blacks out, consciousness bleeding away as his response turns to mush in her ears.

“John and Simon weren’t supposed to do their mission in the neighborhood they were in. It’s my fault you were involved with it.”

She blinks the memory of the night before away and looks at him.

He looks almost ashamed. “Believe me, I’ve already expressed my anger thoroughly with them. They’ll both be in here to apologize at some point. John, especially for how he treated a young lady such as yourself.”

“…I take it you’re not exactly ‘law-abiding’ citizens?”

His eyes find hers and he smiles, holding out his hand. “Jonathan Price.”

She takes his hand and shakes it. “(Y/N) (L/N).” she looks him over. “You’re a mobster, aren’t you?”

“I prefer to call myself a well-distinguished businessman who simply operates outside the rules of engagement.”

“Long way to call yourself a criminal,” she snaps and sips her tea.

“Probably.” He gazes at her. “What happened last night was a fight over territory with a rival gang. You weren’t supposed to get involved.”

“Really? I had no idea?”

She knows he doesn’t take kindly to the sarcasm, but he can’t blame her. “That being said, it’s already through the channels that you’re somehow involved with my group. They’ve put a hit on you.”

Tea goes down the wrong pipe and she coughs, massaging her chest as she manages, “I’m sorry? Can you repeat that?”

“Because John and Simon brought you back, the others have assumed you’re a part of the one-four-one. They’ve officially put a target on your back.” He takes her shock in stride and in return calms, “I don’t intend to let anyone, or anything hurt you before all of this is cleared.”

“I’m going to die?”

He blinks and shakes his head. “No, you’re not, love.” Reaching over with a gentle hand, he places it on her wrist and looks into her eyes as he promises, “I won’t let anyone hurt you as a result of my men’s piss poor planning. You will be safe until it’s over and can return back to normal life.”

She breathes deeply, looks at the hand on her wrist. A stranger’s hand shouldn’t be so peaceful, so gentle, but his words sway her into a peace, and she exhales, her shoulders drooping. “I…but I have my job, my life. I…how am I supposed to live?”

Price frowns and pulls his hand away. “For now, I’ll contact your job and have you put on an extended leave, we’ll call it a family emergency.”

“The hospital would soon rather fire me.”

“Not on my watch they won’t,” he replies with a grin. “I’ll have your apartment cleared of your necessities and brought here, the rent paid for the next few months, depending on how long this takes.”

She looks around the room. “I’m supposed to live here for this time? All day, every day? Like a bird in a cage? A prisoner?”

“Of course not. My mansion is yours to explore freely. I have acres of land that are patrolled regularly so you’ll be safe anywhere. The only rooms that are off limits are my office which connects to my bedroom, and the rooms of my men unless they allow you into them.” He looks at her. “I have an extensive library and gallery, a decent stable with horses, a vast kitchen—the choice is yours to go wherever and do whatever. If there’s something you’d like, simply ask and I’ll see to it that you get it.”

“And what if I want to go into the city and go shopping?” she challenges. “A girl can’t stay cooped up forever in a nest. She’ll go insane.”

Price smiles but it’s evident he’s already thought of her question. “We’ll see what we can arrange.”

She lets out a sigh and sinks back into her chair, all of it suddenly hitting her and she tears up, setting the cup down to wipe her face as tears begin to fall. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cry. I don’t usually cry like this.”

He simply hands her his pocket square from his suit and says, “Cry all you’d like, love. It’s my fault you’re in this mess, and I promise to get you out of it smoothly the best I can.” Another few moments of her crying before she sits up straighter and wipes her eyes one last time and he smiles. “Done?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Then perhaps, if you’re up for it, I’d like to introduce you to my men.” When he sees the pause on her face, he adds, “We don’t have to now, if you don’t, but given that they’ll be looking after you, it’d be important to get it over with.”

She nods her head and sighs, “I understand.”

Price smiles and looks to the door. “Boys.”

The door opens and in files three men one after the other, the first, a tall blonde with a black face mask to match the all black suit he’s in, the next, a slightly shorter man with a head of shaved sides in a blue, pinstriped suit, and the third, Kyle, the man she’d met previously in a green and brown plaid suit.

Price gestures to the first, “My second-in-command, Lieutenant Simon Riley, my first Sergeant John MacTavish, and you know Sergeant Kyle Garrick.”

She swallows thickly and looks over them with quickly warming cheeks. “How do you do.” She meets eyes with Kyle and offers him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for…shooting at you.”

The others snicker as Price shoots them a disapproving look and Kyle simply smiles back and shakes his head. “S’alright, sweets. No harm, no foul.”

Price looks over all of them fondly then back to her. “These are men I would gladly lay my life down for. I trust them beyond measure. None of them would ever hurt you.”

She glances at them, and they all show looks of pride but also have a demeanor of respect and determination. “Um, I’m (Y/N).”

The second one, John, grins at her. “Bonnie lass, ain’t ya? Definitely wouldn’t mind taking you on the town.”

Her cheeks get hot, and she looks at her hands, as Price scowls at him. “MacTavish, don’t forget you still owe Miss (L/N) one massive apology.”

John’s own face turns red as he looks at the ground, mouth snapping shut, and this time, Simon and Kyle laugh at him.

Price turns to her and smiles. “They’re a bit rambunctious at times, but a good lot. I’d like to have them rotate turns on keeping you company, if nothing else so you don’t go insane all alone here.”

“Oh, alright,” she agrees. “Will it be every day or every other…?”

He looks back at the men and then back to her. “Perhaps every week? I think a week with each one would give you adequate time to become comfortable with them. Less confusion to figure on who’s day it is when it’s simply someone’s week.”

“That sounds fine,” she nods and clears her throat. “Well, who is going to be with me first?”

Price smiles and pats her knee before standing and walking to the door. “I’ll let you have the honors of such a decision, love. That being said, I have some business to attend. I’ll see you all at dinner.” He looks at the masked one. “Simon, if she doesn’t choose you, I’ll need to see you in my office.”

“Yes sir,” he replies lowly, never taking his eyes off her as Price shuts the door behind him.

She’s left with the three men, an apprehensive look on her face as she stares back at the three men. “So…how’s everyone’s morning going so far?”

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dootznbootz · 6 months

Text

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice. She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground.

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

#feel free to add thoughts! just be nice #Was a bit afraid to post this but now I don't care lol #I'm a tired bitch #Youtube and idiots on tumblr got me acting up.#This may be too thorough but idc.#idk why the colors get weird #I don't know how other people can see all these things lined up together and not see how he was not okay.#like I said you can still like circe the goddess but know this was wrong!#might make private sometime but fuck it #anti-madeline miller #Circe the goddess is “fine”. Circe the book is not #It sounds like it does her dirty anyways. Odyssey Circe would take book Circe out back and beat the absolute shit outta her.#As another Madeline I'm ashamed.#if you bring up the tele-GONE-y then BEGONE yourself #odysseus #the odyssey #odyssey #circe #tagamemnon #tw rape #tw sa #tw sex assault #crying shaking throwing up #greek mythology #circe rant #odyssey rant #anti madeline miller #anti circe #the BOOK #Mad rambles

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genericpuff · 5 months

Text

Hey so I have a question-

Is Rachel even contributing to LO's art anymore? Like, at all?

CAUTION: MILD FASTPASS SPOILERS AHEAD !!!

I've talked at length about the 'tells' of each assistant and artist, and while it doesn't guarantee that I can tell exactly who drew each panel, there's one thing there's been a lot less of in the most recent episodes that have caught my attention - things that I know Rachel would typically contribute.

And most of it comes down to her lineart.

The shading was always her, no doubt about that, you could tell with how consistently awful it is, how she would take actual decent flats from her assistants and proceed to butcher them with muddied shading.

AmyKim89's flats vs. after Rachel's gotten her hands on them:

(seriously Rachel why tf did you darken Persephone's legs here, it looked so much better before ??)

But there was also her lineart which, at first, I didn't realize who was drawing it. It didn't show up super often in LO but it was always very noticeable when it did so I knew it had to be someone on the team doing it:

The thickness of the lines and the extra little strokes added in along the knuckles and bends, that wasn't something that was really common in LO at this point... at least it hasn't been since S1:

And when comparing it to the lineart she used to do in The Doctor Pepper/Foxglove Show:

(look at the mouth in The Doctor Foxglove Show vs. Hera in the pilot version of LO, they're literally the same)

So yeah, it was certainly the revelation to discover that that one instance of "weirdly detailed lineart" wasn't one of her assistants having a little extra fun, it was Rachel herself. It was already so uncommon for her to contribute all the way back in S2 that her contributions seemed to be more of the exception rather than the norm.

And since seeing the art that's been in the newest FP episodes following the return of the series... is Rachel even drawing at all anymore? Because lately the lineart has felt very thin, in a way that I can't tell if it's her assistants just doing all the lineart now or if she's trying to emulate S1 LO more by using less lineart. But S1 didn't have thin lineart, it had very thick lineart, BUT only being used where necessary to emphasis shadows and depth.

Now the lineart feels very... dinky? Especially when you look at the eyelashes.

That said, there are moments from S1 that had similarly 'dinky' lineart, so take this with grains of salt. It still didn't feel as dinky though as it does today where the lines are practically non-existent in how thin they are.

There are also times when you can tell they're really trying to emulate that S1 look, the pieces are there but they aren't being put together very well:

So yeah at this point I wouldn't even be shocked if all Rachel's doing at this point is scripting and roughs. And considering there are definitely times where she'll just draw without knowing what to write, the 'scripting' is also practically non-existent. It's just her leaving her roughs off to the last second for her assistants to whip out with very little time to pay attention to what's being submitted.

Once again it's Rachel fundamentally missing the point of the criticism that's being made of her work. She's trying to forcefully emulate something that she didn't even have a process behind. I can attest as someone who's been trying to do studies of her past work to recreate it as faithfully as possible through Rekindled, it's very difficult to achieve the 'old LO' look because 'old LO' was literally just Rachel slapping down brush strokes until they looked good, there was no specific process or guidelines that she followed, she just made things look textured and colorful. Everything else was basically up to her figuring out what actually looked good, with panels often having their own vibes separate from others in isolation of one another.

Now she's trying to replicate that look while missing the point entirely that it's not something she can really replicate anymore. Though we do get the odd panel that's way closer to the point, those panels have one thing that she's clearly not putting into the comic as a whole anymore - love and effort.

(fr this panel is so gorgeous but I feel like at this point it was more sheer luck because of how rare it is to see panels like these nowadays, this feels like an accident LOL)

Case in point, this honorable mention towards Persephone's outfit which is literally just a color-swapped version of the sketch that Rachel posted to Blue Sky that got meme'd to death in the ULO sub:

Did you catch that though? The weird dark patch over her boob and the gap in the lineart of her cleavage?

That's because they copy pasted the first panel and then erased out the hands, but missed the part of the hand shading that was overlapping the breast and the gap in the lineart.

I shit you not, Rachel coming up with memes on Blue Sky that she's scraped out of shows she watched 20 years ago is basically the full extent of her writing at this point.

Haha take a thing and make it bigger! So funnyyyy!

(seriously Rachel's 'humor' feels like it's stuck in 2010)

Yep, you're really earning that #1 NYT Bestseller label that you haven't even gotten since Volume 3, Rachel. Put your hand down, there are no high fives for you here.

#anyways this is all speculation ofc #so take it with mountains of salt #obviously we don't have an actual official list of who drew what panels #but it's clear from the flats we've seen on her assistants' web pages and their personal flairs that they're carrying the bulk of the work #i literally have no clue why they put up with this shit but i guess we'll never know lmao #maybe they really do just love LO that much #no hate if they do #but damn #are they really happy with the work that's being put out ??#at least the work they're showing off is before rachel's gotten her hands on it i suppose LOL #rachel's literally forgotten how to draw #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus

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raydays-swap-au · 1 month

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Rayday's Swap AU ~ Angel Dust

Here's the first design I did for my silly lil' AU! Swap Angel Dust ( meaning he has the personality of Valentino and all )

More information about the design + "sprites" under the cut

The black sclera - I know about the theory that characters with a/two black sclera(e) have sold their soul and all, but since that's not entirely confirmed ( and also has questionable due to Husk's flashback to when he lost his soul to Alastor or whatever where he has black sclerae before losing ) I decided to keep it.

The curly-er hair/heart motif - I tried to give Angel more of a heart motif as I thought it'd fit ( not to mention Valentino sort of has a heart motif. ) I also just like adding heart-shapes into character's hairs whenever it's fitting. :3

Freckles/facial markings - I decided to make it a single heart on his right cheek because having multiple ( hearts or dots ) on his face was cluttering it up.

His golden tooth - Yes, I know it's on the "wrong" side. I just thought it'd balance out the heaviness in terms of darkness/detail. ( Dark sclera to his left, freckle/facial mark to his right, golden tooth to his left. )

Spider mandibles/abdomen - Since Angel's original design doesn't have much of a spider motif, apart from the multiple limbs, there isn't much the screams "spider." The fact that Valentino is pretty clearly a moth also helped with this decision, which might mean I'll turn down the moth motifs for Valentino ( we'll see though when I get around to him. )

Arm fluff - The arm fluff servers to emulate the wing-sleeves Valentino has in the actual show, but in a way that makes more sense if you ask me ( cuz where tf does the wing sleeves go when he's not wearing his wings as a coat??? ) It also just adds a lil' bit more character imo.

Hands/nails - This was mostly inspired by actual spider feet ( most spider feet are surprisingly cute tbh ) Their feet are basically two claws hidden behind a bunch of fluff that sort of looks like two toes/hooves. The hands and nails both count for the claws of actual spider's feet. Do note that his feet look a lot more similar to spiders' though. Just thought I'd mention.

No coat - The silhouette was already pretty busy with the arm fluff and abdomen, and I honestly wasn't willing to get rid of either. This meant I had to sacrifice the coat, sadly, though I think it leans into another motif I tried to lean into a little more:

Drag queen inspo - Simply put I tried to lean into the drag queen thing a little more. I know he's not supposed to be in drag 24/7, but still. Also, yes, I know about the stereotypes about drag queens being predators, but a drag queen can be a bad person without it being blamed on them being drag, similar to how a gay person can be horrid without the horridness stemming from them being gay.

Why Angel is suddenly thick as fuck and big ass hips - The reason why he got thunder thighs and wide hips suddenly is cuz of padding. He's still skinny as fuck underneath all that. It's also why I added no fluff to his thighs, as he's wearing white stockings over the padding to hide it better/keep it in place and all, all the while making it seem it's actually part of his body.

Height - Characters keep their height despite being swapped in my swap AU. This means Angel is like 8 ft or something.

Color scheme - I've decided to mix color schemes for most- if not all- characters. This means I'll pull some colors from their original color scheme, while others are pulled from the character they're being swapped with. In Angel's case I obviously got his body colors from his original design, while his one-piece(?) main color comes from Valentino's design.

Why there's no name change - I've decided to switch The Vees over to The As. It was a bit hard finding someone to swap Velvette with, but I figured it out in the end. I just need to actually design the swap design and all.

Here's the design alone without any background ( 2 arms and 4 arms versions )

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel au #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel swap au #hazbin hotel swap angel #rayday's swap au

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a-d-nox · 3 months

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Hello, can you please give me your take on ☄️ Varuna in the 4h (conjunct IC) and opposite MC, at an aries degree ? 👱

varuna (asteroid 20000), what's his sign/degree, where he sits in a chart, and his aspects

after receiving quite a few asks and comments about varuna aspects and placements i decided to continue the series (reminders: @e11e27 , @cosmiccvnt ).

IMPORTANT: varuna is a slow moving asteroid it is very likely that everyone reading this will have a cancer varuna. mainly the sign/degree section is for the degree. other than that, the house and the aspects made to varuna are highly important in this post!

all of this is in my opinion. some of it you may be like how tf did she come up with this. my answer: intuition and experience with other people's charts that i have available to me. warning i can be harsh: please don't take everything i say as predestined, astrology is possible outcomes not guaranteed ones. plus let's not forget orbs matter, dominance matters, etc. it's never just varuna. this is just a starting place for when examining a single asteroid in an entire galaxy. take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

*all of these observations are based on a natal chart - solar return and persona charts will change all these observations because the context is different*

!!! RETROGRADE MAKES ALL OF THESE THINGS LISTED BELOW SUPER STRESSFUL OR SLOW TO APPEAR IN YOUR LIFE!!!

signs/degrees

aries (1°, 13°, 25°): you might feel the urge to control things. it is likely important and even vital for you to control every activity that you are involved it. this may be trust thing - you likely struggle to trust those around you fully; especially, when it comes to your welfare and the welfare of others. you are likely a natural leader. often you may use your energy to get what needs to happen done. the unfortunate part is that people with this placement tend to be forced out of power or even into retirement. often you are likely to use your brain power to take initiative to get things done... however, you might struggle with keeping balance - you might be a bit of an extremist and some may even say you are forceful.

taurus (2°, 14°, 26°): you might find yourself wanting to control beauty standards and your monetary life. early in life, you could struggle with feeling in control of your beauty (acne, inability to keep up with trends, etc) and/or your money. when finally get both under your control via routine and saving/budget, you are likely to cling to the control mechanism for each. in the age of social media, you might find yourself influencing others on those topics - however, you might want to be careful that you don't get cancelled for being to rigid in your thoughts/beliefs on the topics. it might be a lesson for you to learn that there is a fine line to balance beauty and ugly or saving for some day and living life to the fullest. beauty can be found in all things and you can't put a price on happiness.

gemini (3°, 15°, 27°): you likely find yourself wishing to control communication with others and involving others. you might really enjoy gossip because gossip tends to involve knowledge that gives you power. if you can control who knows what, you likely feel in control and powerful... but with great power comes great responsibility. it is very important that you are selective who you tell what to because if you tell someone the wrong thing, you might find yourself having a social fall from grace. in the gossip realm, it could be something like you tell someone something and they then tell the person who it is about that you were the one that told them this gossip. being someone who collects knowledge via communication, you might find yourself a moderator or needing a lot of social recharge time in order to feel at peace / in balance. as a knowledgable person, you likely enjoy reading about philosophy and morals.

cancer (4°, 16°, 28°): this placement has some hardcore domestics vibes - it tends to feel like they are good at all things involving the home. you could even have a naturally green thumb. you know how to sell your vision of the future to those around you. you also could be super involved in local government (stars hollow vibes, if you know, you know, Gilmore Girls fans). you likely have great morality where justice in a community is best served. you naturally wish to protect those in your family (both your blood and chosen family that is) - you will do whatever it takes to do so. there is a chance that your "fall from grace" in the eyes of those around you is just you slowing down and appreciating where you're at in life - it could also just indicate falling off the radar when you go into retirement. a goal for this placement also tends to be, you want everyone to feel safe in your environment.

leo (5°, 17°, 29°): you might have the mindset that you are the rightful leader and that you should be in control of most things. while i believe that you have great leadership abilities (i feel like you are extremely moral/responsible as a leader), i also believe that you may want to be more openminded to collaborating. you are a great organizer, but you should also practice delegating. with this placement, you might find yourself the most likely of the bunch to lose your power... you will want to balance your power with pleasure - while you may derive pleasure from power, you must realize that you can get pleasure from other sources too, like creative entertainment for instance.

virgo (6°, 18°): i get this feeling that you would make a really good administrator or accountant - you are very good at keeping the details under control. but "the devil is in the details" - no one person can be in control of everything... you might find yourself failing to keep everything under control, or that your status changes after you say that you have everything under control. something is bound to happen that will make you realize you have less control than you think. for those in a medical profession, you might believe that a patient is fine one moment then the next they are deceased. these things happen - not everything is predictable. the world is a place of homeostasis - this virgo placements often strive for prefect or a semblance of control that is just not realistic. take the tricky/bad with the good.

libra (7°, 19°): ugh, you guys try the hardest to maintain balance... especially, in terms of relationships. compromise is likely very important to you - often it appears that you can do so with grace, but be aware that your idea of what is just is not the same as everyone else's. others might look down on you for your ego in believing that you know best / what is right and wrong. remember to compromise with others as they compromise with you. anywho you are gifted at elegantly handling many things at once - things that are a struggle for others, often aren't as a big a struggle for you.

scorpio (8°, 20°): i feel like you are often very passionate about having control. you need to know everything and feel like you have some measure of control to feel at peace. you don't mind sleuthing on those around you, so you can make them feel comforted and as though they can let their guard down around you. just like you have the power to end others, they also have the ability to ruin you. at some point, you might find yourself casted out / eliminated by those around you. you need to learn a balance when it comes to purging the world and curiosity. sometimes you have to just be grateful for what you have and let a mystery be a mystery.

sagittarius (9°, 21°): this gives political vibes. i feel like a lot of people with these degrees will find themselves wanting to control whole societies (thus the political vibes). you might find yourself wanting to be in the political realm, otherwise you might just want to influence society (perhaps via social media). usually, this is a morality thing - you are on a moral high ground and have a vision of what is good and what is bad. perhaps it is because you have an innate wisdom about humanity and an idealism that could manifest within this society, if we had mores become norms. unfortunately, you might not have the endurance to withstand dealing with things such as this in the long term sense. you are devoted to spreading wisdom and sharing your vision for the future, but it becomes very exhausting after awhile because so few actually listen and take action.

capricorn (10°, 22°): you seek order, organization, and efficiency - you will do whatever it takes to obtain it. often you might find yourself fighting for order for a very long time - these people typically don't mind cleaning or organizing professionally for a long period of time because it helps them feel at peace, and they like to help others also feel at peace. of course, you will eventually slow down due age - you might feel depressed when you notice clutter accumulating because you realize you simply can't keep up with things anymore. alternatively, you might find yourself forced to retire from your profession - you might feel like you are still sharp, but others will see that you are making too many mistakes which will lead them to force you out of your position. these people often seek balance in their schedule because they tend to have a lot that they wish to do, and as they say, "very little time to actually do so"...

aquarius (11°, 23°): the controlling friend... not the best look and it is funny too because in the beginning you might have really good intentions. you might want all your friends to get together regularly to do something fun, but after awhile people might accuse you of nagging. you might find yourself becoming a moderator in an online group forum and "controlling" what others are allowed to do in that sense. i only mean to make you aware - just because you want to see progress or to have fun and do new things, does not mean that others would enjoy doing so and will follow your every word. you might be someone who believes in altruism - so practice it. don't do things hoping to get praised by those around you. often the people who are around you know very little about who you actually are so try not to present yourself as bossy and as though you seek accolade for every little thing you do. you will quickly notice that others will turn away from you, if you do that. progress over notoriety is key.

pisces (12°, 24°): it is hard to say what this placement would seek to control; perhaps, you are the only one in the mix who doesn't really wish to be in control of anything. you might be the type that prefers to have options - you might struggle with having to come up with everything on your own. the illusion of having control is more important than actually having control. you don't seek absolute power, you prefer limited power likely because you have the tendency of fearing disappointing others. ironically, if you did disappoint someone, you might seek to make it up to them by any means necessary, thusly you give them control over you and then situation. life is an abstract concept and you likely will come to understand a majority of that in you time. you might realize the limitations of knowledge, power, and morality and see that there exists more grey and neutrality then there does omniscience, omnipotence, and pure good.

houses

1h: you may feel as though you were born to be in control of the elements around you. you could be a generally moral individual because you constantly self-evaluate. for you controlling your actions and having restraint is rather easy, but, one day, you might give in to temptation and feel as though you are spiraling. it is important that you notice that life has its ups and downs; moderation is the only way to feel you are acknowledging all your actions and inactions.

2h: money is the name of the games. money makes you feel powerful and safe. if you have the money you need, you feel like you have room to give to and receive from others. your aim is likely wealth - ultimately you want to have an emergency fund so that if something were to happen you can still feel like you have the money you need to keep going or so you can retire and still live comfortably. but it is give and take; you can't just hoard money right now - at least a majority of you can't because you have to continue to live and living costs money. make money to live - spend money to continue to make money... give yourself permission to live a little - it is great to save but take a look at what you are saving for. no future is certain.

3h: i feel like this can be such a tricky placement. varuna is about control, but the 3h tends to require openness and flexibility to the world around you... it might be difficult for you because you are constantly being forced to adapt to some sort of new knowledge, new communication technique, or new environment. do not be hard on yourself. control is not everything. you can only control what you can communicate, what you know / are open to learning, and where you go - you can't control what others say, what they know / are open to, and where they go. it will be fine just keep being your wonderful self. communicate, learn, and walk around a bit. new things don't have to be scary.

4h: are you varuna or is someone else varuna? that is up to you to figure out with this placement. typically, i see this as people who are either controlling or controlled by their family. often, i see this as people who are in charge of their household as well; you might be the one who makes the dinner, pays the bills, cleans the house, etc even from a rather young age. it can be a struggle though because after doing all that for such a long time you might find you are exhausted and simply can't do it anymore know that it is okay to be burnt out - it is okay to be overwhelmed when you do everything like you do. alternatively, you might feel like you have no say in your family or in your home. it could feel like you are "low man on the totem pole" - even when you try to help or do something you somehow "mess it up" and a parent (typically, your mother) will take away your responsibilities because "you can't be trusted to do the task".

5h: you can't control anything in this bracket funnily enough, so you are likely to feel very tested... you can't control a child - especially, not your own. you will likely never see half of what is coming until it has already happened where your own child is concerned. you can't control chance, creativity, nor, and most importantly, love. when you try to control any of these, you will notice quite a few things... your children are likely to leave your home the moment they are reasonably capable of doing so. when you try to control chance, others might state you are a "stalker" or a "control freak". when you try to control creativity, you might close yourself off to inspiration and originality. and when you try to control love, you are likely to find yourself alone... so don't embrace varuna too heavily with this placement. instead, be open. this placement is great if you want to be an agent, producer, art teacher, guide your children, be dominant in romance, etc. but a key lesson will be the art of letting go because that is when the magic truly happens.

6h: i can't decide if you are a health guru or a g-calendar wiz. maybe it is both. it is astounding nonetheless because you have unbreakable control over your own elements. you might know what marcos are in your meals, what time blocking is, how long it takes to burn fat, etc. it is great by also i feel like you are incredibly hard on yourself; just because you missing one day does not mean it is over. one missed day doesn't mean you have failed - yes, your routine is messed up BUT it is just for the day. it is just for the day - tomorrow is a new day.

7h: these people tend to have their hands on a lot of contractual things - it feels very lawyer like. you will likely deal with agreements, settlements, contracts, controversy, etc. this is the placement of "i have it all under control" and generally you do. you tend to find yourself in an alliance of sorts; sometimes it is with your public enemy and other times it is with your lover - either way it is likely that whichever one you partner with will take over your power at some point in time. this could be a source of controversy in your life.

8h: another placement were you must learn it is okay to lack control... you can't control change, death, nor what you inherit. change is inevitable - if you refuse to change, you refuse to grow... if you refuse death, you forget to live or you find yourself mourning what isn't lost yet in the waking world. if you try to control what you inherit - well genetically you simply can't - you will be disappointed and find yourself removed from legal will(s) entirely. so you have to be open to change. you have to live. you have to be grateful and live in the moment - not in the future.

9h: be open to learning. you are in control of what knowledge you let sit in your mind. allow yourself to take all knowledge with a grain of salt. it is important that you learn everything that you possibly can - be worldly, get a different perspective, learn different philosophies/religions, etc. you will find yourself at a lost when you close yourself off, are too devoted to a single entity of knowledge, you stay at home, and/or you refuse to follow your intuition. open up and be willing to learn new things - this will help you to be the best version of you possible.

10h: often this placement loves a title - they enjoy having status and power. you likely enjoy the authority and/or notoriety that is associated with a title. the higher up you are the more at peace and comfortable you feel. however, the higher up you are, the further you can fall - so be mindful of your place. often with a high status comes a level of popularity. with popularity you have to be mindful of the power you have over influencing others. you are someone that others look up to, so be worthy of being looked up to.

11h: acquaintances, companions, friends, etc your contact with others make you strong and powerful. you might find that you have a number of people around you that are willing to help you get to high places and to reach your hopes and dreams. however, for this to be the case, you have to be aware of how you present yourself to others and the world around you. you also have to be careful that you aren't manipulating people into doing something solely for your gain. just because the people around you have influence, doesn't mean that you should expect their help. never expect to be given something without making a show of faith and effort. help others to see you are worthy and not just demanding a free hand-out.

12h: you are the secret keeper - a lock box for the unconscious and subconscious. you are in control of what you do and do not share with others. others are likely to lean on you to safe guard their issues, secrets, etc. the one thing you can't control with this placements is karma - karma is in control of it's self and will ultimately catch up with you. this, of course, causes your downfall/woe... the best way to keep in check is to resist sharing things that are meant to be a secret / private.

aspects from varuna to

sun: positive aspects: you might be shocked to learned that when you are in control, people follow your every command. you are someone who was given power because you have earned it. your achievements afford you authority and advancement. i find that these people are the best to be in power because they are selfless - they seek balance and fairness first and foremost - which is highly commendable. negative aspects: you may wish to be in control of most every situation and frequently fail to recognize that your ideals and desires are not everyone else's. you may fail to see that you are not always the best person to be in control of the situation, you may come off as slightly arrogant and/or as though you brag about your accomplishments very often to the point of annoyance. your ideas may not be popular opinion among others - and you have to accept that.

moon: positive aspects: you adapt well - your ability to keep up with the ever-changing world around you is what aids you to maintain balance and control. your emotions are a superpower; you feel for those around you which makes you all the more moral and fair. you might feel like you are popular and/or worshiped simply for showing sympathy/empathy and being flexible. negative aspects: i feel like you often wish for others to change on behalf of you - you likely fail to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. it is a rarity that people will drop everything to help you regain security/balance. that is something you have to do on your own - which is likely to be what causes you a lot of stress. you likely won't find it fair that people aren't helping you - but that is the task of varuna. you have to do your own thing without the aid of others and most often the "others" that you wish would help you the most are your parents/family... be sympathetic/empathetic towards others as you wish they would be with you. it is not easy being human and even less so when you are depending on others without understanding who they are outside of their connection either you.

mercury: positive aspects: you likely depend heavily on communication - you are very particular about what you say and how you say it. accurate communication is key and then comprehension of that information. personally you are likely very good at communicating accurately and comprehending information. you are even very good at being adaptable to new information. you very easily can find yourself back on track if the communication with you and those around you is good. negative aspects: you can only control what you say - you can't control others or what they take away from what you say. you might struggle with efficient communication which throws off a lot of things in your life. you have to practice only communicating what is true/accurate - try your best to not say things you aren't 100% certain of because you will either find yourself in trouble or struggling to get things back in control (things are likely to get out of hand). you might also need to work on comprehension of verbal and written communication.

venus: positive aspects: you have a very powerful gift - controlling the admiration of others. in fact, you will likely find yourself a social media starlet or "famous" on some level. you could even control how desirable you are to those around you. for you it is not about control or balance, it is about finding bliss. you don't really want control or power, you want to be happy and be loved by others. negative aspects: i feel like you are the type of person who gets rather annoyed when people "mimic" you - even though it is common. "imitation is the best form of flattery" they say... but you? you take it personally; you don't like or appreciate when people appear as a "threat" - you especially hate when they get more attention then you did when using your concept. you desire to be seen as a sole entity but that is just not the way of the world any more - everyone copies everyone and most fame is not long-term (social media trends change, you age out of a concept, cancel culture, etc). you have to be okay with admiration no matter how you receive it.

mars: positive aspects: oof it you aren't in charge, you need to be. you are the one who gets things done. we need more doers in this world. you have a passion for achieving balance in the realm around you. you have the ability to control the activity of many people at once which is good too - you would/do make a good supervisor and/or manager in this lifetime. negative aspects: be very careful that you don't come off as controlling... it is likely that you will be seen as such. varuna a god centered on balance and mars is war and chaos - war is messy and unpredictable when functioning at its finest. so the two concepts do not fit together, thusly making for someone who is overly aggressive in having control or someone who attempts to stay away from actively doing anything at all. often your passions get in the way of you being logical and orderly, or you likely face decision fatigue.

jupiter: positive aspects: you are an incredible advisor; you have such wonderful knowledge and wisdom. you can really benefit a lot of people by sharing and being in a seat of power where you can help others - so explore and learn. you are someone who promotes the expansion of the world around you. you are someone who likes the formality of a hierarchy which promotes respect and loyalty. loyalty is everything to you when you feel like you can trust those around you then life will get a whole lot easier - everything will feel peaceful and you will feel comfortable stepping down from a position of power. negative aspects: you have a lot of learning to do before you teach anyone else - keep that in mind when you are giving advice to others. perhaps there is someone else who is in better spot to teach others - perferably someone with a lot of experience. you might also not be the most ethical person. without ethics you are definitely going to feel the pain and have a fall from grace or be forced to retire. you could struggle with open mindedness and/or honesty... practice leading with innocence and willingness to grow.

saturn: positive aspects: you are super self-controlled. you have a strong will which is rather uncommon for people... you have such strength - you could even resist the things to desperately desire. you are someone who is likely to retire before you are ever forced to quit or into retirement in general. you live a life of moderation, thusly you already follow the elements on varuna. negative aspects: you likely aren't the most self-controlled person... you might struggle with doing things in moderation and waiting in general. it is likely a struggle of yours to resist your desires. this might be something that springs from a mistrust built in childhood... you might fear that while it is there one moment it won't be there the next. you will need to work on your trust issues because while you could be right you are equally likely to be wrong in that regard. so have faith. don't doubt the world around you. you might be the type of person that has to be forced into retirement because you do not realize you are decaying in a knowledge sense - there is likely someone more capable than you and you will just have to accept that.

uranus: positive aspects: you are an extraordinary individual - while nothing is predictable when you are in charge, things are also unpredictable and innovative when you are. you cause growth and forward movement. you get things done and help others to evolve in a positive manner. you likely can juggle many things at once as well. your originality is likely to keep you in business and keep you in power for a long time. negative aspects: you might constantly question if everything you are doing is correct - you likely lack faith in yourself and your ability. you also might have the tendency to want to control things that aren't controllable like the future. you need to learn to have faith in the unknown. you probably struggle with finding balance because you likely do not plan - normally this is fine for a uranus placement/aspect but not where varuna is involved because he requires consistency and control. as for the fall from power - i don't feel like you will have a fall. i feel like it is more akin to estrangement. you might fall out of love or interest with your field and just leave it be.

neptune: positive aspects: astral projection vibes - you have strong psychic gifts, so don't hesitate to use them. you don't seek control which is your greatest gift; you reach a sort of nirvana when you stop trying to control things - it is so rewarding for you too. you don't let blockages set you back - you just go with the flow. negative aspects: you doubt your abilities which really sets you back. you have to acknowledge that you are capable of everything and anything. when you try to control your creativity, you will find yourself bored by your work and you might even create things that seem too simple to get the recognition you seek. you don't resonate with idealism - you want things to be predictable but they aren't. you need to embrace the unpredictable and the impractical. speaking of impractical, you likely won't be a leader, at least not the best leader, because you might just lack practicality where it is needed.

pluto: positive aspects: you embrace the chaos; you aren't a controlling person - you are the opposite a majority of the time. you want change not balance. you might be the least varuna like of this bunch due to this fact. the changes you make are often done carefully and overtime. you aren't someone that wastes time though; you make calculated risks/changes. negative aspects: you likely hate people who try to keep order... you loath those who try to control you most of all. you aren't someone who likes being controlled - if anyone should be controlling anyone you will believe it is you who should be in control. your passions likely overshadow you desire for balance/moderation.

asc: positive aspects: these are the people that you look at and you are like "dang, they have everything under control in their life". you appear so well composed that no one questions a thing. you look fine and like you can handle anything, so you likely find yourself tasked with a lot in life. miraculously, you can handle it too and continue to climb the ranks. you have a classic look about you that makes you look timeless and ageless. negative aspects: you may be controlling or lack control where your appearance is concerned. you should look into better life balance - no one should be living their life concerned about their looks and worrying about whether they will be taken seriously or not OR if they are on trend or not. do what what works for you - nothing more and nothing less.

mc: positive aspects: you may receive a lot of praise for your achievements and ambitions in life. you may find yourself in a high position in your career in which you are in charge or creating the code of conduct for your workplace. you could be a good leader because you are willing to hear others out in regards to regarding functionality. your father could have been someone of great importance who had an important job that allowed you to have a good childhood/home environment from a young age. negative aspects: you might expect to get accolade and it never comes - no doubt you are going above and beyond in your role though. you might feel like you are constantly on the cusp of getting to where you wish to go in life, yet you never get there. you could struggle with following those in a seat of power too because you might feel like they took your position or that you are better than they are at the job. status for you is very important, but it is not something you will ever feel confident about.

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