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#how often will i have to use this tag
sylvies-kablooie · 3 months
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i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
#spilled ink#woke up at 530 to write this lmafo#me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal#edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate#like if this is about X specific diagnosis#and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc#and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition#but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis#because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons#why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person#.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that#it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself#palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate#would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them#bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume#that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now#we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this#regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it#and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.
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heymacy · 26 days
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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heartorbit · 6 months
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i would advise against sneaking a bunch of silly billies into your castle
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lunarharp · 4 months
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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yj-98 · 1 year
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While the Captain may not always win, he may not always save the day, he is always kind. And that's a reputation to be proud of.
Billy Batson — Shazam! #1 (2023)
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queer-geordie-nerd · 1 month
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As a queer, neurodivergent, disabled goy, I have to say, it really takes a monumentally callous level of ignorance and misunderstanding of history to speak over Jews about and attempt to co opt the deep, generational trauma of the fucking HOLOCAUST.
These groups were targeted, yes, but it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the evils of Nazism to not talk about *why.* ALL of these groups were targeted because of the Nazi belief in a huge, overarching, degenerate, worldwide Jewish conspiracy to bring down “normal” Aryan society. Jew hatred was at the root of literally every single belief and action the Nazis ever took. It was the air they breathed. Every single action they took, they took as a means to their end of eradicating Jewish existence and “influence” as they saw it, from the face of the world.
Any discussion of the Holocaust that doesn’t centre Jewish suffering as the *point* of it all is woefully inadequate and incomplete.
It is NOT about us.
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gferamos · 1 year
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Random assortment of doodles tiem (⁠づ⁠。⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠。⁠)⁠づ
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momomallowart · 5 months
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Imagine if you will... Ray with a tongue piercing ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ 💭
A more "messy" version under the cut bc I wanted to practice tears and stuff.. 👀
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kayawolfhorse · 1 month
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The changes were as gradual as gaining new extremities overnight could be.
First came the ears, tufted in fur the same brown as Pearl’s hair, pricked upright upon her head. The morning they appeared, Pearl’s waking thought was how much louder the birds’ chirping tune seemed to be, how she was able to pinpoint exactly where they perched, along the roof of her tower and in the boughs of the highest treetops below. She tried not to think about the whispered remarks made behind her retreating back she could hear all the clearer now.
The tail appeared next, and Pearl almost crushed it rolling out of bed. Though it was often hidden by the drape of her scarlet cloak, Pearl liked her new tail, and petting the long, coarse fur soon became as natural to her as idly playing with the strands of hair that fell loose around her face.
On the third day, Pearl awoke with a bleeding mouth, pierced by long, pointed canines she wasn’t used to having. Those took the longest to adjust to, weeks of bruises along her bottom lip as Pearl learned how to hold herself, how to rest, in harmony with her new traits. The teeth felt most natural bared in a snarl. Their sharpness didn’t quite fit into her soft, human mouth. Pearl made it work.
The other differences weren’t as initially noticeable. At night, Pearl’s vision seemed sharper, and with the moon shining above her, she could see just as clearly as she could during the day. When running together, Tilly didn’t have to slow her stride to keep pace with Pearl, and leaping over a fallen trunk or puddle hardly became a feat at all.
Pearl’s favorite change of them all was her newfound ability to howl.
She’d always responded to Tilly’s call in kind, but Pearl’s vocal cords could only mimic so much. Now, between them, under a clear night sky filled with more stars than Pearl had ever seen, they created a choir, two voices pitched to sound like ten.
Pearl had howled to an empty, half-built tower the night Tilly lost her first life, before she’d found her way back to Pearl.
Perhaps it was her new wolfishness, perhaps they were the desires Pearl hadn’t allowed herself to feel, that made the pangs of loneliness worse.
She had Tilly! She’d always have Tilly, Pearl would make sure of it. Her beloved wolf was her true soulbound, the tail and the ears and the teeth said as much. Tilly protected her and Pearl defended her fiercely in kind. Pearl wouldn’t be alone ever again. It was fine. Pearl was fine.
In the quietest cracks of the day, between the time the moon set and dawn colored the sky, Pearl admitted to herself that she wasn’t fine.
The yearning ached in her chest, next to the invisible spool of thread that connected Pearl to a partner who never wanted her. She’d never be invited to the fireside circle, accepted into the band of safety and trust the other pairs had found in each other, in their alliances, however unsteady those tended to be in a place like this. At least there was ground to shake beneath their feet, purchase Pearl had never felt so high up in her tower.
Even with Tilly at her side, Pearl was a lone wolf, and she knew, like every abandoned dog did, how badly she longed for a pack.
An excerpt from a piece I’m never going to finish, but liked enough to toss onto Tumblr away. Reblogs do more than likes and all that
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cleaned up one of the kaido doodles
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w1lmuttart · 21 days
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Taking GarageBand away is no longer enough to make me focus on my tasks, I have rediscovered chrome music lab
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kicktwine · 4 months
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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snorpdawg · 6 months
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The first picture took longer to make than I want to admit it did but WE NOT MAKING IT OUT OF SNAXBURG‼️
(They/Any pronouns)
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izloveshorses · 9 months
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here's a little wip share!
Since I've been out of art school for a while now I've been craving a good long term project, and what better subject than my favorite show? :) I'm pretending like Anastasia is an animated production/video game/whatever and I'm in charge of putting together a 'concept art book'/illustrated guide (for lack of a better term). Which means there would be extensive artwork of each costume, character lineups, background/set paintings, and prop studies. I'm currently still working on drawing and rendering all the assets and once they're all drawn I'll arrange them in a page layout as if they'll be printed in a big book!
But since it will be several months/year+ before it's finished I thought i could share some of my progress so far and possibly document the process as we go along. Here is an act i lineup of the principal characters, some examples of character costume sheets, and a couple screenshots of some ensemble costumes in various stages of completion. I've also rendered several props and I've started a couple background paintings, but I'll share those later.
Why embark such a tedious project, you ask? Well! because. i want to. So far it's been pretty fun. my obsessive collection/scholarly archive of reference photos of this show are finally being put to good use 🙈
Feel free to send any questions about the project my way! <3
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regarding common tropes about ganon's writing in fics, I am kind of always taken aback a little anytime ganondorf uses degrading sexist terms in fics and such. Because to me, even his most evil interpretations would probably have no reason to have negative associations with women who have sex a lot, unless he picked it up from elsewhere (like there's some room for it to be interesting psychologically speaking if that's directly addressed, but it never is). I'm not sure why the gerudos would ever cultivate these kind of misogynistic ideas in their own culture, or why Ganondorf would spontaneously decide to form any essentialist ideas he may potentially develop on the basis of promiscuity, of all things. And, if he would pick that up from Hyrule... why would he, why this, and how does that map out with him remaining proudly gerudo in most iterations if he sees any non-married woman getting funky in a negative way?
it's kind of a very small thing, but it does kind of beckons a lot of questions regarding worldbuilding and psychology and it tends to take me out of fics a little, because it's always kind of assumed and never investigated
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