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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

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Enzo anon here - the more this era is progressing, my theory about gaymila being used as damage control and for profit seems to be happenening.

I have some thoughts that I know many other CS share, i think it would be good to summarise what i’ve seen on different blogs into one post as well as adding my own theory. So this will be a long one but i hope you guys find it insightful and Stuck thank you again for giving me a space on your blog!

Let’s look back on CC2 and the aftermath of its release. A quick disclaimer : I’ll only be addressing her situation in terms of the social/PR aspect as we have no idea what other factors might be at play such as contracts and money etc.

It’s fair to say that C was and is not in a good place reputation wise. Señorita was of course a smash hit but was mostly used to promote S. Her fans complained about C almost becoming a double act with S. These fans understandably signed up for C, not S and so subsequently most of them unfollowed her on SM and stopped paying attention to her to escape the constant Showmila. For the GP, Showmila became a mockery and so it’s asking a lot from her fans to stay when she was constantly embarrassing herself to the point that it made it uncomfortable for them. Of course with this comes the racist controversies also involving Normani which brought back the entire 5H feud. This put C even further than she already was against LAND and so the narrative that she was hated by the other girls for being obnoxious and attention seeking was further reinforced by her being racist towards N. All of this made/makes Camila extremely easy to hate, to the public she seems like a privileged straight girl who has never once had any sort of difficulty or obstacle in her life.

On the CS side of the fandom, many having left after having enough of the Showmila circus, leaves very few CS to fight back against the narrative. Even more leave after Lauren’s bombshell of a podcast. For example, this graph from google trends show how searches for “camren” or “camila cabello camren” are/were decreasing.

We know that CS are a very large part of C’s fanbase so who are we left with ? Many solo C stans all have converted into SS accounts and again even then S takes the main focus, not C. So… its not looking good, having people being fans of yours only for your relationship is a risky move business wise. We’ve all wanted Showmila to end for a long while and we definitely can all agree that the end is long overdue, infact a lot of us believe that had there not been the pandemic they would’ve broken up a while ago. So where does C stand now? Well, in my opinion, after this entire circus (which unfortunately is still ongoing) C is in a very vulnerable position. How does she promote her upcoming album with so much of her fanbase gone? Perhaps a big break up album? That option doesn’t sound great when she most likely will get the short end of the stick narrative wise and be further disliked by the little fans she does has left. If Camila doesn’t have Shawn anymore, the SS will most likely all disappear leaving her with a very limited amount of people who have the guts to actually publicly support her. Another option she could have is to keep riding on this relationship until people get bored, only that’s already happening and Showmila does not have the punch it once did to get a second Señorita. What about a fake pregnancy or a marriage? God we hope not and I really believe that Camila would do anything in her power to avoid that as we’ve seen how extremely unhappy she seems just being his girlfriend. For all we know Shawn might be very against this idea too and even if they did go along with it would it really be enough to promote CC3 ? After a few weeks the excitement would have died down again and leave them both back to square one. Not to mention that C getting married/pregnant would make even some of her most dedicated fans leave for good and would still not be enough to get her out of the racist accusations.

This is where my theory comes into play, however i think her team will only follow through with this if they are smart and if they aren’t actually sabotaging her. This past year I watched as Taylor Swift released her two albums and broke numerous records and achieved incredible success. I do not think this success would’ve been achieved had it not been for the insane rise in speculation over her sexuality due to her new songs. T is of course a household name, she’s earned her place amongst the top artists of this generation but people were starting to get bored hearing dramatic songs about her oh so difficult love life being a straight white girl. This is why when folklore and evermore came out there was so much buzz and excitement about T possibly being LGBTQ to the point that it found it’s way to the GP. People were wondering what these gay songs with gay lyrics were and so they went to listen for themselves. Eventually tons and tons of extra streams and talk generated from people who would’ve otherwise never paid attention. Myself included. You can see below on google trends the massive increase in online searches for “gaylor swift”. The gaylor side of tumblr also expanded as there had never been so many songs with so much queer interpretations to analyse and discuss and more and more of the GP were getting curious enough to read the blogs. Regardless if you think Taylor is gay or not, the general public discussing it was an essential part in improving her image for Gen Z and promoting her albums thus creating $$$ for her team and label.

Keeping this in mind, I believe that C might (not having many options left to salvage her career/reputation) take a page out of TS’s book and have an era that will attract more LGBT fans than ever before. We’ve seen how camren is slowly coming back. Even just by C liking a picture of L’s it was enough to bring back out a whole lot of fans who had abandoned her. Her team see this, they know this, they are aware. If talks of Camila being gay will generate more $$$ they will use that to their advantage and push out the new gay narrative as much as they can. I don’t think she will explicitly come out any time soon, and i don’t think that they will “confirm camren” but this era will definitely set her up for it in the future like the way it has for TS and it will give her a stable fanbase for a long while, which at the moment she is in dire need of.

Although C would’ve probably liked her relationship with L to remain private I think she may have no other choice but to use it more than she ever has before to save herself. Sadly no amount of self improvement and apologies will ever erase her racist past, it will follow her forever and people will never stop talking about it, unless there’s something more interesting to discuss. That’s the way the internet works, a photo of camren together in 2021/2022 would generate more buzz than anything Showmila related. Not only would all of the CS who left come back but all the anti-CS would be talking about it too and an entire wave of new fans would be interested enough to join. There would be no room to talk about Camila Cabello being racist when Camila Cabello is actually gay/dating Lauren Jauregui is the new talk.

Of course this entire process will not be instant but we can see that they are building up to something like that. Perhaps Camren being public friends again which would still generate a ton of talk as it did back in the 5H days. She will not instantly break up with S and then be seen making out with L the next day but I do think that although it wasn’t her or her teams plan to use her relationship/sexuality, i think she has no other choice if she ever wants to gain favour with the public again. Let’s not forget that the rest of 5H seem to be on their way to having new music out very very soon and just as camren worked to promote 5H in the old days it will work again in 2021/2022. This would encourage her team even more to follow this route as it would suit everyone, even if they no longer are a group they will always be connected.

We shall wait and see what happens, of course circumstantial situations may arise to cause them to switch up their plans but for now all this 5H, camren and gaymila interactions are no coincidence. That’s for sure.

This concludes my very long post! thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, thank you again to Stuck and if anyone has anything else to add that i might have missed or any questions don’t hesitate! I love hearing what everyone else has to say. To clarify these are all my personal thoughts and speculations and I am not claiming to know anything for certain.

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Wow, I didn't expect to be a window into another great submission from my dear buddies, but Enzo, I loved your post. And I really totally agree with you in what you mentioned.

The truth is that it is true, Camila has been selling her LGBT + agenda of hers since 2020 and even long before because I always had the theory that she would be let out after having a big heterosexual PR circus. This PR circus with the diva is that circus and what we have been seeing, because it checks all our theories.

As for Gaymila, she has always been there. More crushed with the fucking circus shit maybe, but she's always been there and one thing I want to emphasize is that most of Camila's fandom other than SS or homophobic, would accept Camila out of the closet, ALWAYS AND WHEN NOT WITH LAUREN.

That is why I think Camila would have more followers if the aforementioned are left aside, because they would have no problem supporting her and we would be more, considering that those clowns are partly paid fans and bots.

I don't think she will even give him permission to leave her, but if she does it is because that would also be part of her contract. Of her agreeing to do all this theater of the absurd with the circus, as long as they let her out at the end.

The fucking shit hole that is the industry knows that it has to please its LGBT + audience because we are the ones who support artists the most. The main audience for them may always be heterosexuals, but when they get bored and look for something else, the ace up their sleeve will always be the community and with the examples that you have given my dear Enzo, that is proof of it.

The thing with Camila is that she's never been in the closet. They forced her into a closet and that's different. Camila always felt good being herself and they have tried to cover that with different types of circuses since she was in the band because it is what suits business.

What we are seeing now with Camila is that, a double agenda, that of the circus managed by the idiots behind it and Camila's own agenda that lets us see Gaymila from time to time.

And when I talk about an agenda, I do not do it in a negative way but as something that she must have already planned.

My theme now is that it will come in that aspect. I don't think I'm waiting for a circus engagement or a lavender marriage, but I do hope that Camila can set Gaymila freer every time. Unfortunately, everything else is still very screwed up and this circus just represses it more and more.

The problem is that as long as she does not regain some control over her career and her image, no matter how small, nothing will change.

#submission #enzo anon #love you buddy

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kathyprior4200 · 3 years

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A Villainous Meeting

“Good morning, my fucklings!”

Verosika Mayday, the pink succubus, strolled into the room, wearing her high heels, heart-shaped sunglasses, short black and white dress and her faux pink scarf. She blew a bubble of pink gum before spitting it out in a nearby trash can. The fellow employees sat at a cracked black round table with bloodstained high-backed chairs with eyes on the tops. The Wrath Ring imp Striker merely smirked and nodded as he fiddled with the wheat stalk in his mouth. He wore his usual gray and brown cowboy gear with a hat and boots. Fizzarolli, the robotic jester imp, looked around eagerly at the small office room decorated with circus posters and porn magazine covers. Verosika was shown in a seductive pose with her gang on one poster, while another poster showed a sinister Fizzarolli with handcuffs advertising a “Loo Loo Land’s Fizzy Buddy, Brand New Vibrating Toy, Use At Your Own Risk!” A few pictures here and there displayed Striker riding his black hell-horse BulletProof through the desert with a mane and tail of fire. Finally, Vortex, the dark grey hellhound bodyguard, stared at his phone, wearing all black clothing.

They were located somewhere in the Lust Ring under a pink sky in an abandoned building that looked like a warehouse from the outside. Spray-painted in red were the words “D.I.C.K. Headquarters,” on the door to the office.

“Remind me why you choose “dick” to be our name?” Striker muttered to Verosika.

“It’s spelled D.I.C.K. It stands for Demonic Immediate Crazed Killers,” Verosika replied. “Figured it described all of us well, because we do what I.M.P. does, only better.”

“You and your sexual innuendos,” Striker began, and then winked. “I like it.” Fizzarolli giggled.

Verosika cleared her throat. “Do any of you fuckers know why we’re here?”

“Because I took this job after you and I got drunk and did a one night stand?” Striker asked with a smirk.

“No!” Verosika bellowed in anger, though she knew it was true. She then blushed and stepped back. “I drank too much beelzejuice after returning back from Earth, alright? And you happened to be there staring at me with lust in your eyes with a bottle of Inferno 66 in hand. Let me tell you, sucking prisoner dick with your gang is worse than eating shit out of a toilet. Besides, I needed some time to recover after having to walk around after Blitzo took my parking spot. When we were together, he left me to pay for the hotel room, rang three rings around Wrath and maxed my credit card...”

“…on shitty horse-riding lessons, yeah yeah, I got it,” Striker said with a wave of his hand. “You told us the story like five times.”

“Is it because that imp was so jealous of my accomplishments at the circus that he set all of Loo-Loo Land on fire and allowed my robotic counterpart Robo Fizz to get eaten by a dragon?” asked Fizzarolli.

“How did you hear about that?” Vortex asked without looking up.

Fizzarolli turned nervous. “My boss Mammon heard about the incident and was furious. He said that unless I helped boost sales, fix the theme park and capture him…”

“Yeah, I know how you feel,” Verosika sighed. “My gang and I got a bunch of warnings and threats from daddy Ozzie.”

“You mean Asmodeus?” asked Vortex.

“Yeah. He wasn’t very happy that I nearly exposed the humans to the existence of demons. We go topside in disguise to feed on their lust every spring. If Blitzo hadn’t kept that fact secret…well let’s just say Valentino pales in comparison to what Ozzie can do to you.”

Everyone shivered at the prospect of the Ring Overlords’ plans.

“To answer your question, Verosika, it is because I failed to kill that pompous owl prince Stolas?” Striker asked. “I was this close to finishing off that wimp imp and persuading Blitzo to join me. He’s a formidable fighter, and he’s half succubus.”

Verosika crossed her arms. “There’s nothing special about him. He just pushes people away when they get too close and only cares about his job, murder and his stupid horses!”

“Hmm…he’d be a fun little toy to play with,” Striker mused as Fizzarolli smirked. “We can all agree on that, right?”

Everyone but Vortex murmured in agreement.

“Yes,” Verosika called, shoulders square. “That is the reason why we’re all here. Because of them!”

Verosika pointed to the whiteboard which had pictures of Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona and Stolas pinned on it. Several knives were stuck inside the pictures and scribbles in red on the white board read “Fuck I.M.P.!” “Striker Is Better Than You!” “Fizzarolli Was Here!” and “Verosika, Call Me For a Good Time!”

“And I’m gonna led this shit!” she added.

“What makes you the leader?” Striker inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not the leader per se. Stella organized this group and Striker recruited us,” Verosika explained. “Though I’m technically higher than imps, sinners and hellhounds, so I say the position is a good fit.”

Striker scowled. “We get treated like scum in Wrath enough as it is. I ain’t gonna play nice if you don’t show me some respect.”

“Prove to me you’re better than that scumbag Blitzo.”

“I already did…in bed at the club, remember?”

Fizzarolli laughed much to Verosika’s disgust.

“While I will admit it felt amazing, that’ll be the last time I ever sleep with an imp. And I certainly don’t need some rogue cowboy to get in the way of my revenge.”

“Need I remind you, missy,” said Striker, “That I’m the one who recruited you and the jester in the first place? After you were getting over your hangover, you told me to fuck off or else your friends would have their fun with me.”

“Yeah, and?”

“I then noticed your heart tattoo on your shoulder with “Blitzo” crossed out. Then I asked, ‘Having imp problems, too? Wishing to see a certain imp?’”

“And I said ‘no, none of your damn business, imp.’”

Striker continued, “But then I told you, ‘I’m on a covert mission to take down a worthless royal…and to meet up with I.M.P.s leader. Perhaps I could offer you my services to you, monetary and otherwise, if you could tell me more about him.’”

“Yes and I did,” she said. “I remembered Robo Fizz back when I worked in the circus with Blitzo and figured he’d be a good person to talk to.”

“Hmpth,” Fizzarolli interrupted. “His business may be impressive, but his jokes were utterly pathetic! I got to be the star of the shows while he got to be alone and unloved! Ha!”

Verosika briefly stared at him. “You sure you didn’t get jealous because Blitzo left you behind and made more money killing people?”

Fizzarolli turned slightly red. “What?! No! How stupid are you?”

“Perhaps smarter than you think,” Verosika remarked, her boobs bouncing slightly.

“Get a room, love-fuckers!” Fizzarolli mocked to Striker and Verosika. “At least I was the first villain to appear in the show! First is the best! And my Ring is higher than yours!”

“Oh partner, even a sex bot like you…”

“I’m not a bot!”

“…could never handle what’s under these jeans.”

Striker smirked and continued the story. “Then I told slutty clown about Blitzo and he seemed to understand who he was,” said Striker. “I said, ‘A Goetia is giving me cash to kill a royal and that imp leader from I.M.P. What do you say we bask in riches, glory and chaos?’”

“I remember saying, ‘Is this a scam? Loo Loo Land must be fixed!’” said Fizzarolli.

Striker recalled what he said back to Fizzarolli,“’Mammon sent you off on a mission, didn’t he? Just like Asmodeus gave a warning to Verosika and what Stella did to me. All our stories and failures are connected. Connected because of what those imps did. If you can help me track down I.M.P. and that prince…no more worries for you.’”

“The show must always go on,” mused Fizzarolli. “It wasn’t like I had many other options. As long as my boss is satisfied…”

“And mine…” added Verosika.

“And mine…” added Striker.

“Indeed, we must all complete this mission, or else we’re all dead,” Verosika finished.

“Double dead,” Vortex corrected in a low voice, making the others shiver. “The Seven Deadly Sins do have angelic weapons. You’ll wish you were frozen in the Ninth Circle.”

“Hell only has seven,” Fizzarolli added.

“Shut up.”

“Loo Loo Land burned down, Asmodeus and Mammon got together, we took the Hellevator through the Ring portals and the rest is history,” said Verosika. “Now I’m stuck with an imp and a robot.”

“I’m an imp!” Fizzarolli protested.

“You’re just a robot,” Verosika replied.

“With partial robotic features! The model for all Robo Fizzs made by Mammon himself!”

“Still just a sex toy,” said Verosika.

“A useful one, nevertheless. One who Stella herself deems valuable, right Striker?”

“She did say to me, ‘I don’t care who you have to go through.’ Never thought I’d be dealing with a bunch of hooligans from other Rings,” Striker remarked.

After several minutes of loud arguments and hisses, Vortex barked loudly. “Shut the fuck up!”

Everyone then sat down in silence before Vortex stared at his phone again. “I never get paid enough for this shit,” he muttered.

“Somebody tell me any useful information about I.M.P. before I lose my shit!” Verosika barked, almost going into her demonic shadow form.

“The only reason why I’m here,” said Striker, his voice turning calmer and darker, “Is for my money from Stella. And revenge of course. Let me tell you where I think Blitzo will be at next.”

The villains crept closer.

“I came to the Lust Ring because I heard from Stella that this is where Stolas likes to “entertain” himself as it were.” His glowing eyes spiraled in yellow-green hypnotic circles. “Rumor has it that he goes to Ozzie’s place to cheer himself up. Heard he suffered quite a breakup from his dear hurt wife. And to have Stella potentially gain custody over his dear daughter…man that must’ve broken that bird’s heart.”

“Oooh what a charming little theater!” Fizzarolli remarked. “Stripper dances, pole dances, lots of lustful siren songs. Winged imps serve you food and other imps are in cages for display! Hahahaha! It is almost as good as the Big Top in Loo Loo Land!”

“Was, you mean,” Striker smirked before the jester seethed.

“I still perform there,” Verosika said. “When I’m not traveling around the Rings on tour. Lust is my home, after all.”

“Greed is mine!” Fizzarolli said.

“You already know where I’m from,” said Striker. “No one fucking cares.”

“Mammon and Asmodeus heard the news as well,” said Fizzarolli. “I heard Stella had a meeting with them at midnight last night. That was before we all got our orders to come here to Lust.”

Vortex looked up in concern. “It’ll only be a matter of time before Lucifer hears about this, too. Not just about the trouble I.M.P. has caused, but now that humans know of Hell…”

“Let’s focus on one problem at a time,” said Verosika with a deep breath. “We’re in no rush. It’s not like our leader’s gonna call us and demand…”

Just then, Verosika’s pink computer beeped and rang.

“Shit,” she muttered. “It’s her.”

Everyone straightened up as Verosika pushed a button. Stella’s angry white feathered face appeared on the Zoom/Doom screen. She scrutinized all their faces with pink glowing eyes, her face appearing on the screen.

“Striker,” Stella began, her golden crown shining on her head. “So this is the gang you recruited?”

“Yes ma’am!” he grinned.

“Hmm…” she pondered. There’s you…there’s some clown imp, there’s a fine-looking succubus…from who knows where…”

“The clown is Fizzarolli or Robo Fizz,” said Striker. “The succubus is Verosika.”

“Working for a queen, Striker?” Verosika asked. “How…”

“Long story, I already told you,” Striker said. “She’s desperate…”

“You bet that’s right!” Stella barked. “Then again, I’m…mildly impressed that you managed to get such a…diverse crew together.” She didn’t bother to hide her disgust. “Well done.”

Striker beamed with pride.

“But we’re far from done! You have no idea how long I’ve waited to properly unleash these feelings in me.”

Fizzarolli giggled and Striker elbowed him hard.

“That stupid prick of my husband thinks he can sleep all he wants with that assassin imp…in our fucking bed behind my back! If he stays any longer, my family will be a laughing stock. I’ll be stripped of my royal status and goodness knows what bad influence he’ll have on Octavia.”

Stella paused, brief hurt in her voice. She didn’t dare cry, though. “Sometimes I wish he didn’t have to die. That all three of us could be a good family again like we once were. He could’ve been a proper responsible father, kept the grimoire safe from the imp, and none of this would’ve happened.”

Fizzarolli cried tears at the rant while Vortex rolled his eyes. Striker yawned. Verosika, however, seemed to listen with a common understanding. She and Blitzo had been together and then they were broken up and fighting. Although she wanted power and revenge like Fizzarolli and Striker, she knew what it was like to get the short end of the stick in a relationship.

“Then again, I was forced into marrying Stolas millennia ago by my parents. It’s obvious I’d concern myself with status and wealth and hold my resentment inside.”

‘All that wealth, all that power,’ thought Striker, greedily. ‘Watch her talk on and on until the rug slips from under her feet…and the glory becomes all mine!’

“I love my daughter and Stolas…I really do…but…I must do what has to be done!” Right then, her regal imposing side was back.

She stared into their eyes, glaring at Striker in particular. “First of all, if any of you land a finger on my daughter, I’ll make sure your screams are heard by every Ring in Hell. She must not be harmed. But…if I have to use Octavia as leverage as a last resort to bring Stolas to his knees…then so be it. I don’t care what we have to do…I just want him dead. Do you all understand?”

“Yes ma’am,” said Striker. The others nodded.

“Good. Now to review the plan. Stolas and I recently had our breakup. He will be going to the same place he always goes to when he’s upset: Ozzie’s place. If you spot I.M.P., follow them, but do not attack yet.”

She continued. “Striker, your objective is the same: kill Stolas with your angelic weapons. Keep them safe in your hands at all times, but eliminate anyone who gets in your way.”

Striker already glowered at Fizzarolli and Verosika who were staring closely at his pistol.

“If you use it on anyone else important,” Stella said, suspicion already in her eyes. “I’ll fuck you with your own horns.”

Striker nodded, with the tip of his hat.

“Verosika, you will track down Blitzo and distract him inside the club,” said Stella. “Use any manipulative means necessary to catch him off guard. Fizzarolli, you and Asmodeus will sneak behind Moxxie and take down the other I.M.P. members. Verosika’s crew and some Robo Fizzs will also join in.”

She added in a sing-song voice, “You’ll all receive an extra bonus and royalty favors if you bring me their heads!”

Fizzarolli grinned. “This is gonna be so fun!”

“The rewards. Striker, you’ll be rewarded by me for killing Stolas. 10,000 souls or more. And a new home in Wrath for you and your family.”

Striker had to roll his eyes. He didn’t have a family anymore. He didn’t just want 10,000 souls. Now that he thought about it, he wanted much more.

“Fizzarolli, Loo-Loo land will be repaired and you’ll get to lead future productions in Lu Lu World. Plus money, your own brand and perhaps…” she whispered so only he could hear, “…freedom.”

“Oh goody!”

“Verosika…more tours, more sex and money for you. You’ll be the star of every Ring in Hell.”

Verosika grinned and fluffed her long pink-white hair.

Stella smirked in a manner unfit for a queen. “And to make things a little more fun…as a way to show Stolas what his infidelity means…a special prize for the first one to kill Blitzo for me…”

She playfully massaged her boobs under her pink dress. All the villains minus Vortex blushed in delight and shock as they knew what she was implying. Verosika’s gang in the far back of the room watched while eating popcorn. Vortex made a face of disgust.

Seconds later, Stella was regal again. “And you there, dog!” Stella called, making Vortex look up. “Verosika has a special assignment for you.”

“What?” he asked.

“Keep a close eye on that loony hellhound of theirs,” Verosika grinned deviously.

Worry was etched onto Vortex’s face as he nodded. Though he had a girlfriend, he had found Loona adorable at the beach on Earth. He couldn’t believe what he had to do now.

“I’ll keep you updated on Stolas’ whereabouts and when it’s time to move,” Stella finished. “Do not disappoint me.”

The screen went dark.

“Well, that’s a wrap folks,” said Verosika. “Meeting dismissed. Fuck around, get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.”

Verosika took out her phone and began texting.

“Who are you texting?” Vortex asked.

“There’s this pink southern succubus sinner named Martha,” Verosika grinned. “She says she leads an army in the name of Satan and they want blood after being killed by you know who on Earth. Ralphie and her two kids live with her there. She also wants this Mayberry sinner dead.”

“What does that mean?” Striker asked.

Verosika grinned. “It means…we have a potential ally in the Pride Ring!”

“Awesome!” said Fizzarolli. “Their enemies keep growing and growing!”

The villains laughed.

“With so many souls seeking revenge, I.M.P. won’t know what hit ‘em!” Fizzarolli cackled.

“Yes, but let’s focus on our main mission first,” said Striker. “Perhaps we’ll have the honor of getting to them first!”

The villains laughed again and retired to bed.

‘This plan better work,’ Striker thought. ‘Because Stolas’ blood will not be the only blood that’ll be on my hands soon enough…’

#helluvaboss #villains #legion of doom

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mst3kproject · 5 years

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607: Bloodlust

Guys. For the sake of yourselves and everything you love, never look for material related to this movie by searching the tumblr tags for bloodlust. Just don’t. While you will find the odd bit that’s actually relevant, you will also find… look, I’m sure your imaginations are equal to the task. Some of the bonus material this week will be stuff from the episode, but there will also be a few things I found in the tag that just made me go whaaaaaat?. None of them are gross, I promise, they’re just… odd.

A couple of blond dumbasses, who I think are named Johnny and Betty, and a couple of brunet dumbasses, possibly Jeannie and Peter, decide to have a picnic on a tropical island. Unsurprisingly this turns out to be the home of a transparently evil Vincent-Price-looking asshole, whose hobby is murdering his guests and taxidermizing their corpses (apparently ‘taxidermize’ is a real word – my spellcheck doesn’t underline it). Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s drunk flunky and cheating wife have an escape plan, but once that’s been foiled it’s just these idiots against the world’s self-proclaimed greatest hunter.

I am apparently in a minority, but I think this episode’s host sketches are brilliant. Pearl’s first appearance is classic and Crow ruining Mystery Dinner Theatre is great, but my favourite part is when the SOL’s hoedown descends into anarchy. I can watch that over and over. If I ever witness a riot I’m going to be very tempted to just shout, “and now promenade!” and see what happens.

Anyway, The Most Dangerous Game is one of those things they make you read in English class, and like many things I had to read in English class it left me mildly traumatized. It’s a deeply distasteful story about man’s bloodthirsty nature and how the only way to overcome evil is to sink to its level, and every so often I’ll remember it, or Harrison Bergeron, or The Lottery, and it makes my day seem a little more dismal. I’m pretty sure nobody ever reads it except high school students and the Zodiac Killer.

So if you were wondering why it took me so long to get around to reviewing this one… well, I felt like I had to revisit the story in order to do justice to a review of this movie, and I really really really didn’t want to do that. Just thinking about it gives me flashbacks to things like Sonnet 116 and that horrible story in which the floor was both lava and snakes. But I said every episode and so here I fucking am.

Anyway, my return to The Most Dangerous Game, or at least to its Cole’s Notes, proved very educational – it taught me that not only is Bloodlust a lousy movie, it’s also one of those adaptations that completely misses the point of the work it’s attempting to adapt. The main theme of The Most Dangerous Game is how the only difference between the hunter and the hunted is which one is in a position of power. Rainsford is himself a big game hunter, and discusses this with his friend Whitney. Upon finding himself on Zaroff’s island, he becomes the prey, because Zaroff is the one with all the power. At the end, Zaroff had believed Rainsford is dead, which gives Rainsford the advantage of surprise and turns the tables again.

Bloodlust completely discards this theme. There’s never any real discussion of the power imbalance. Worse, while Rainsford was an experienced hunter and fighter himself, somebody Zaroff considered a worthy adversary, these four clowns are just young people who blundered into this situation and aren’t even Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s preferred prey. He doesn’t hunt them like he does his escaped criminals, because he thinks it’ll be a challenge, he does it because the only other alternatives are to straight-up murder them or to let them go, neither of which are acceptable to him.

Rainsford was an expert on traps and tracking, which meant he could offer Zaroff a meaningful challenge. Of the four young people in Bloodlust, only one of them is kind of barely competent, that being Betty the judo expert. She’s smart enough to figure out how to get away with breaking the window, and manages to keep her head and chuck the lackey into the vat of acid. When confronted with the John the Baptist dude, however, she freezes and screams along with Jeannie. The group survives through nothing but sheer luck.

It was luck that allowed them to get out of the house and then back into it without getting seen. It was lucky that Vincent-at-half-the-Price chose to go after the drunken sea captain first and the boys later. It was just good luck that Jondor survived the quicksand and showed up in the nick of time to take revenge on his master. The supposed heroes are barely involved in their own salvation. At the end of The Most Dangerous Game, Rainsford had to sink to Zaroff’s level and become a murderer. The four idiots in Bloodlust just stand and watch.

The one kind of interesting spin the movie tries to put on things is when it takes some time to explore why Vincent-at-half-the-Price is the way he is. He describes how war inured him to killing until he came to consider it a pleasure. This invites us to think about people who become murderers – prevailing opinion seems to be that people like the aforementioned Zodiac Killer are born without compassion, that their killing sprees are inevitable. Some killers, like BTK or the Green River Killer, have stated themselves that they need to kill and couldn’t put it off forever, even when they managed to take long breaks. It’s true that many of these murderers come from terrible backgrounds – but other people are abused as children and don’t grow up to kill people.

Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s killing spree is not inevitable. He claims to have found it distasteful at first but it later became a pleasure as repeated kills eroded the value of human lives in his eyes. This is actually a bit more thoughtful than Zaroff, who started out killing animals and moved up when it no longer offered him enough of a challenge. He kills people because he thinks if they can’t escape him then they don’t deserve to live. Once again, however, this change loses one of the points The Most Dangerous Game was trying to make, which is that killing animals for sport is brutal and pointless. At the beginning of the story Rainsford and Whitney were on their way to the Amazon to hunt jaguars – not for food, or because the jaguar offers any threat to them, but simply because they can.

So while the source material may have left stains on my young psyche, it at least had something to say. I will also say that it’s pretty suspenseful, and leaves you honestly worried for Rainsford as Zaroff evades his traps and closes in on him. Bloodlust, on the other hand, is mostly just boring. You know they’re not going to kill off any of the four protagonists, because the movie just doesn’t have the guts to do it. It can’t kill the girls because they’re girls, and it can’t kill the boys because then the girls would be sad. Sandra and the two drunks are nothing but sacrificial victims, because the writers think you can’t have a horror movie without a body count.

Even aside of that, though, this movie would still be boring. Sandra and Drunk #2 come to the girls’ room (not the boys’ room, because they couldn’t afford another set) to tell them a bunch of things we’ve already figured out for ourselves. Vincent-at-half-the-Price monologues endlessly as if one of his tactics is boring his guests to death. We never actually believe that Sandra and Drunk #2 mean to come back for the protagonists, so it doesn’t really matter to us when they’re killed.

I keep wanting to refer to the main characters as ‘the kids’ but I refuse to do so. They’re at least not as annoying as the cast of your average 80’s slasher film, but they accomplish that mainly by being very bland. Johnny is Brave, Peter is Nerdy, Betty is Tough, and Jeannie is Scared, and that’s it. It’s really hard to care about any of them except Betty, who earns a modicum of sympathy by being the only really proactive one (and from my longstanding crush on June Kenney). Once we realize the movie isn’t going to kill any of them we just stop caring.

I’m not sure what to make of Vincent-at-half-the-Price’s cheating. This seems like they’re trying to make some kind of point with it – he takes a crossbow with three bolts, one for each intended victim, and gives them a gun with one bullet. This is supposed to be sporting. But the gun has been disabled, and when he uses the bolts he pulls them out of the corpses, cleans them off, and recycles them. Since the ending has him just pulling out a gun to shoot his cornered victims at point blank range, I guess the point is that for all he justifies it as a form of sport, really he just likes killing people. The story managed to say that about Zaroff in other ways.

So yeah, this one really sucks. Even Mike and the bots couldn’t save it. There’s a few odd lines that are really funny but most of them are so-so, and there’s stretches when the movie just doesn’t offer them anything to riff. Watching it without the intermittent relief offered by the host sketches was a chore, and it forced me to re-visit a bad experience from my childhood. Fuck this movie.

#mst3k #reviews #bloodlust #fuck this movie #flagged as inappropriate #60s

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dcarevu · 5 years

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Batman TAS: Heart of Steel (Part 2)

“I do wish your toys wouldn’t play so roughly with you, Sir.”

Episode: 39 Robin: No Writer: Brynne Stephens (Brynne Chandler) Director: Kevin Altieri Animator: Sunrise Airdate: November 16, 1992 Grade: A

Picking up where we left off, and things don’t appear to be off to a stellar start. Batman escaping the grabber that is installed incredibly high up on the cave ceiling seems anti-climactic. Because after that, HARDAC just gives up. Batman starts to track its location, and it disconnects from his system, ending the moment. What the hell, HARDAC. Didn’t you just have control over everything? You couldn’t have locked Batman out entirely and prevented him from even getting that far? Luckily this segment ends with a pretty funny callback to Part 1 from Alfred, and from here things are awesome the entire way. I think that the cliffhanger last time was only there to be a cliffhanger and get ratings for Part 2. I guarantee it was an afterthought. But whatever, it’s out of the way, now let’s get to the good stuff!

The previous episode was used to set a lot of things up. It had some good moments, but they held off from showing us the major excitement. This episode flies by, and it feels like nonstop action with some of the best imagery we have yet to see. I’m so happy with how well they nailed the designs of a lot of these robots, and the concept was taken to its max potential. I love the way that the robots (disguised as people such as Bullock, Gordon, Mayor Hill, etc) move around, sometimes walking and talking just like you and me, but other times they leap and scuttle in a way that almost resembles the way the little girl moves in The Exorcist or like the girl from The Grudge. Paired with their glares and those piercing eyes, and it’s easily as creepy as anything on Courage the Cowardly Dog. The most disturbing moment is when one of the robots twists its head all over the place and then follows Batman up the elevator cable. It’s a moment of tension because we know the bot will grab Batman if he doesn’t hurry the hell up and solder through it. It’s a similar feeling to being followed and trying to quickly unlock a door. After Batman solders through, the elevator falls many floors and completely demolishes the robots that were onboard, and we get to see their mangled carcasses. Like with Captain Clown from The Last Laugh, robots give the writers a lot of fun opportunities for violence that is not typically permitted. There’s an earlier scene where a robotic Bullock is thrown onto the Bat-Signal where it gets electrocuted. We see a charge running through it, its hand twitches, and it loses its skin-like shell. Seeing how willing Batman was to deliver this type of punishment to Bullock was a little bit concerning, and we even see Barbara start to cry during the aftermath before they realize that it’s not really Bullock. Beautiful stuff!

During the climax we get a lot of this type of thing all shoved together into one scene. There are explosions galore (I sorta gave up on the fire count that we had going, but if I hadn’t, you’d better believe that this episode would count toward it), some twisted imagery in the form of seeing Bullock and Gordon suspended in a tank of water for observation, and Randa gets part of her face ripped off, revealing a metal skull underneath. It makes Batman jump in fear as he turns around and sees her. While one of Batman’s major talents is scaring the piss out of the criminals he fights, as we know from Scarecrow episodes, he himself is not immune to fear. It’s nice to see him expressing this emotion without the use of mysterious gas.

HARDAC’s motives were fleshed out a lot more, and they are a little cliché. Replacing all humans, eliminating man-made flaws, allowing the world to run smoother, yada yadda. We’ve heard this before. What I find more interesting is Karl Rossum’s role in all of this. What I gathered was that Rossum designed HARDAC to replace certain human-operated functions with robot-operated functions. For example, self-driving cars. He had a daughter that died in a car accident, and so he vowed to rid the world of the possibility of this happening to anyone else. Because he…for some reason…gave HARDAC a free-thinking mind, HARDAC decided to take this plan much further than intended, considering all humans a problem period. They’re too imperfect. Ironic, given HARDAC’s quick downfall, but hey, this is the 90’s. Technology has a long way to go. Anyway, Rossum’s motives are pretty vague, though, so I could be interpreting this wrong, but I like that there are a couple of ways to take it. I can see someone else going more literal and imagining that he wanted to replace drivers with robots, or even some of the more problematic citizens. Who knows. Interestingly, in Part 1, we see Randa using a self-driving car, which I just now remembered. I thought I remembered something too about Randa being modeled after his daughter, but they never mentioned this. Head-canon I guess. I have to ask, is Rossum innocent? He doesn’t seem to be in much trouble at the end, but we have no way of knowing how far he was going with this plan. Yeah, HARDAC went further, but that doesn’t mean that Rossum wasn’t trying to go further than most sane people would, you know? I have a feeling that we’ll never see him again and won’t have to worry about it, but Batman the Animated Series has this way of surprising me.

Barbara Gordon gets more time this half hour, and she’s so rad! Her voice actress (Melissa Gilbert) plays her so well, and combined with the lines, she sounds like she’s incredibly intelligent. How love how she talks to her stuffed bear when she’s by herself, but what she talks about is how she plans on breaking into Cybertron to rescue her father. It combines cute with badass and capable, and she seems to be a strong female role model that any kid could look up to. Not to say that I condone putting yourself into the kind of danger that she did, but hey. You know what I mean. Last episode she may have been an extension of Jim. This episode she broke out of that and felt like something entirely her own. You already know that I know, but for those who don’t know what’s coming (Char), hopefully we’ll see lots more of Barbara! She did mention how much she enjoyed getting in on the action, and Batman told her that she did an excellent job. If that doesn’t sound like a recurring character, I don’t know what does!

I don’t have too-too much more to say, but this episode was way better than I remember. So far, it may even be top ten material. Char loved it too. She said that she was happy that no one died in the end, but jesus, when Possum was fried by HARDAC’s laser, I thought he was going to be left a pile of ash. Never program a super-powerful, free-thinking computer to have weapons like that… You give it a will to be free and a way, what could go wrong?

Get a load of Gordon’s tall mustache.

Some of the animation in this one reminds me of The Tick. It’s the line work as well as the eyes. I couldn’t find any info on who did the animation for The Tick, but could it have been Sunrise?

Jesus, he’s not dead? The intensity of HARDAC’s laser blast was shocking, and it looked soooo violent.

I keep seeing a smiley face on HARDAC’s light/eye/whatever. On purpose?

Basically what I see when I go to the dentist. What creepy lighting! I like how intimate this segment was.

It must be so therapeutic for Batman to get to beat the shit out of the fake Bullock, especially after this shit-eating grin. What a great face!

Bullock’s twitching hand was super gross. Anyone else agree that this is Sunrise’s best work on the show?

This robot almost looks zombie-like, which is fitting considering Bullock’s apparent demise.

What happened to the batarangs, Batman?

Even when dead, those red eyes stare in such a malicious way.

“Please let go of my cape.”

Is there any reason that these guy need to have light-up eyes like this? No! HARDAC clearly installed them just for the “Holy shit, what the hell is going on” factor.

Yes, HARDAC, humans are so imperfect. Meanwhile one of your friends lets Bruce slip away like this.

KILL IT. KILL IT. KILL IT.

THANK YOU.

These trashcan robots very much look like the robots from Castle in the Sky.

Seeing them in this kind of danger is quite disturbing. As is the fact that a computer is keeping humans contained like this.

Up until now, we’ve only seen Randa as a drop-dead gorgeous woman. We saw the twist coming, yet it’s still quite the surprise!

A really stupid moment in an otherwise amazing half hour. A makeup mirror deflecting a laser like that felt really implausible (yes, in the face of everything else), and it also seemed like a lame way to remind us that Barbara is, in fact, a woman.

Batman panics as his head is about to be crushed by an elevator. Batman breaks a few times during Heart of Steel. He’s sure to experience some nightmares about computers.

Bob Hastings has a tremendously good moment as he calls out the name of Jim’s daughter, thinking she’s dead.

Char’s grade: A Next time: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich?

Full episode list here!

#dcau #dc animated universe #heart of steel #part 2 #heart of steel part 2 #hardac #batman #batman tas #batman the animated series #btas #barbara gordon

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mamaofnuts · 6 years

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Thunderstruck

AC/DC Thunderstruck Rated Teen Thunderhoof Strongarm Thundercracker Arcee It was time to celebrate, and who better knew how to celebrate than the Crime Lord himself: Thunderhoof. Tonight he wanted to make it extra special, seeing how he had been away from Cybertron for far too long. On top of that, he had a couple special guests coming. He heads over to the DJ booth and leans an elbow on it, "Did you find it, Blaster?" The red mech known to the Autobots for nearly giving their position away (more than once) by his vibrant raves, is thrilled to be set up here in Iacon and able to have free rein of the booth and dance floor. He smiles to the owner of the club, "Yes Sir, I certainly did." His fist does a soft double thump to the booth trim, "Excellent. Your little buddies in position?" Blaster chuckles, resettling things that even a 'light' fist tap has jarred. "Aw yes, they are ready. Trust me, Boss, this is going to be kick aft!" "Better be," Thunderhoof flicks his fingers like a pistol at him, but with a wide grin.

Sure enough, as soon as most bots have gotten off their work shift and tomorrow being a holiday, the partying crowd head for the clubs. And of all the clubs, of course this one will be rocking the hardest! Thunderhoof hasn't made it just yet, having a VIP of his own to escort in. He keeps her distracted in his office until he gets the signal from Blaster. "Come, my dear," he beams lifting her black knuckles to his lips, "Time to make an appearance." Strongarm blushes badly. It still amazes her that somebot so tall and rugged is so genteel and graceful. "Oh-okay." His deep and yet sweet chuckle has her leaning as he curls her under his arm and out the office door. They are hit with a blast of the hopping and booming club. Instantly she turns down her audio receivers input, and grins up to Thunderhoof. He is absolutely BEAMING and searching for someone in particular. With his height and the clearance his antlers need, it gives him a great advantage to searching the busy place. She tries using her Academy trained skills to search with him, but she doesn't know whom he is looking for. So instead she just remains by his side as they move through the crowd and enjoy the way the thumping beat makes her armor vibrate. It's almost as if her sparkbeat has decided to sync with the music's beat! "AH HA!" She hears Thunderhoof puff his delight, having caught sight of his prey. He keeps his large hand against her side, guiding and at times adjusting her to be directly in front of him as they move through the crowd. The flashing lights change the color of everybot's armor, but helm chevrons, racer vs offroad tire-shoulders, and then of course different styles of wings help identify individuals. A set of military grade fighter jet wings with Elite Guard strips catch her eye. She cringes and misses a step, nearly tripping Thunderhoof. He feels it, cupping her side securely, making her look up. He glances down to her with a quick reassuring smile and wink. Then he takes the cigar from his lips and she watches him expertly flick it across the crowd. Like a slow motion moment: she watches the cigar flip end over end through the air until it lands lit-end to a very sensitive wing tip. The wing flicks it aside just before it can actually make contact and the mech sharply swings his head around. Thunderhood roars with laughter and the blue flier's face goes from 'about to punch some one' to a smirk of 'you clown!' And the music abruptly changes, and Thunderhoof gives the other blue mech a slight dip of his antlered-helm in gratitude. The flyer lowers his helm and half lids his optics in 'you are welcome'. And then it's back to the celebration! With the flyer finally recognizing the long intro to this song, he throws his head back and laughs to the point of nearly bringing tears to him. With a nod, he turns to his host. Both mechs step away from their femme-dates and as the mechs head towards each other, the crowd parts from between then leaving the dance floor clear for them. After all, this is THEIR song: AC/DC's Thunderstruck. Blaster resets the intro so the whole crowd can join in cries and thumping. Thunderhoof and Thundercracker have a grand time stomping their pedes to the reinforced floor with their own unique thunder strikes. The mechs are beaming like idiots rocking their shoulders and singing the lyrics to each other. The rock of the wings and antlers just brings the whole party to the next level. And then that famous line has the mechs whipping back to their dates and extending their hands: "You've been THUNDESTRUCK!" The whole crowd goes even MORE wild as Strongarm and Arcee slap their hands to their mechs. The femmes are curled and twirled up against their mech's torsos in a thundering clash of their armors. No one is hurt, and it just adds to the excitement. With the ladies at their sides, they really get to show off their foot work. No knees are shaking as they are curled, twirled, lifted and slid into, around, and across to the other thunder-mech. One would almost think this had been a coordinated dance, but it wasn't. It's just two mechs with similar names who are out to celebrate having their lovers back in their arms again and the war is OVER! To keep the party thundering, Blaster throws on Imagine Dragon's Thunder. Once again the mechs and the whole room are thumping and pounding to the thun-thun-thunder in the song. And they drop kisses as soft as rain drops onto their femme's lips. Blue arms lift up and wrap around thicker mech necks and they are lifted and held close to their lover's sparks. Optics are burning brightly with both gratitude and delight. It all could have gone horribly wrong if neither Thundercracker or Thunderhoof had not trusted the other. Both Arcee and Strongarm could have been lost to them forever. That must be why Blaster then threw in Whatever it Takes The mech did whatever it took to bring the femmes home and safe to their arms. Opposite factions be damned. Strongarm loves the way Thunderhoof only has eyes for her. Out here on the dance floor, he could dance with anyone, but he doesn't. He could have anyone he wanted, but he only wants her by his side. Thundercracker can NOT believe that of all the femmes out there, it is Arcee, the fiercest of the light weights, who has a soft spot for him! Of all the times she could have taken him out, all she ever do was singe a wing. And he KNEW she never missed a shot. So he lied, and said it was someone else who hit him. How many times did he swoop in, scoop her up and take her off the field? She slapped and punched him so much because she wanted to get back down their and beat the crap out of them all, but here he was taking her away from the fight for a moment to just contemplate what the war is really all about. After awhile, she had to admit, sitting in the quiet with him, became something she rather enjoyed. She giggles as he twirls her around the very loud floor. Those expert skills of light and fast foot work along with his graceful swooping turns and sharp banks come to play on the dance floor. They clasp, meet, and match each other step for step. She's beaming up to him, and he is just as happy to feel her having a good time. It might be louder than a fire fight here on the dance floor, but their smiles are wider than anything. The last note blends into a slower song, and he curls her closer. She wraps her arms around his waist and he strokes a thumb over her cheek. Then, unafraid of who else sees, lowers himself to take her lips in a slow but quite loving kiss. She holds him close and will not let him pull back even when his kiss is a broad smile against her lips. Yup, definitely thunderstruck, she smiles and he nods, "That I am, my dear."

#thunderhoof #thundercracker #strongarm #arcee

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thehalfworld · 6 years

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Fanfic MST: ITS MY LIFE!, a Portal fanfic [part 13]

For something that makes absolutely no sense and conveys nothing of substance, this fic does go on for quite a while. I honestly don’t even remember how many chapters are left, but we’re at least a few more from the end.

There’s a bit of gore in this one.

Recap: Marissa tried to take down the Chell/GLaDOS fusion, accompanied by Wheatley, who was predictably useless, and Rattman, who was also pretty useless (and also died, but whether or not that’s permanent remains to be seen). It was revealed that Chell is actually Rattman’s daughter due to some sort of DNA mix-up. The co-op bots showed up to ostensibly help Marissa, but, after she defeated the Chell/GLaDOS fusion (killing Chell in the process), the bots turned on her and shot her in the head.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

AN OMG I GOT 102 REVIEWS EVEN IF THERE MOSTLY DUM FLAMERZ THATS STILL PRETTY GOOOD FOR A FIRS STORY!

Man, I love her optimism. Raging at your ��flamers” is common for badfic writers, so seeing an author be positive about all the reviews she’s getting, even though they’re almost entirely negative, is kind of refreshing.

Unfortunately, MarissaTheWriter dropped this attitude later on, but let’s cherish it while it lasts.

ALSO THANK RAI AN APE SOME THING BECOS THEY GAVED ME SOME REALY COOL IDEAS FOR THE NEW CHAPTERS!

I don’t know who these two are. I’m guessing people who reviewed her story.

PS MARRISSA DIED THAT PROOVES SHES NOT A MARRY SUE OK!

Well, no, actually, dying is really common for Mary Sue characters. In fact, the original Mary Sue, the character from whom we got the term Mary Sue, died at the end of the fanfiction she starred in. It’s a good way to make your OC look tragic.

PPS THIS HCAPTER IS FROM WHEATLY POV

Oh geez. Oh no. I don’t know how much more weird British slang I can take.

ITS MY LIFE!

CHAPTER THIRTEN: MARRISSAS RESSUREKSHUN

Yeah, that’s the other thing. Having a character return from the dead has the effect of making them look super special and important, and overdoing that is how we get Mary Sues, so…

This was the most bloody terribel thing ever.

I agree.

Oh, you mean Marissa’s death, not the fanfic itself. I take it back.

Marrisser was died with a gun shoot to her soddin head an blood an branes were all over ever were.

Gross! Thanks for the mental image!

I gared at Atlas an P-Body hoo killed the one thing I loafed an shouted "YOU BLOODY BUGGERS IM GONNA WANK YOU!"

That’s going to be difficult. He has no arms and they have no genitals. It’s Aperture Science, though, so I’m sure he can find a way.

But I didnt have arms so i cold not hurt them but I sooooooo mad they ranned off any way.

Yeah, nothing scarier than Wheatley threatening to “wank” you.

Bloody sods. "Marrissa why didnt I was able to safe you! IM SOOOOO SORRY!" An I cried bloody bukets of robottears.

Not sure how that would work, but I don’t need it elaborated on.

It was the end an I thot a bout commitin sewiside like GLaDOS did when a turrent came up to me.

"GO HEAD AN BLOW ME SODDING BLOODY BRANES OUT SO I CAN BE AT PIECE!" I yelled loud at the turrent. "No im diffrent! I am Oracle Turrent an I no how to make Marrissa alife!"

Wow, okay, that’s a character I wasn’t expecting to make an appearance. The turrets can’t walk, though (except the frankenturrets Wheatley created, but the oracle turret wasn’t one of those), so I’m not sure how this one managed to approach him.

No bloody way I o-mouthed in all the shock. "How can she life wen her hed sodding exploded?" I britished at him for tryin a get my hopes up.

“Stop making up pointless new words!” I Irish-Americaned at the author.

"Rember that she has the speshal powers, one of them is that wen she eats the zombee taters instead of become a zombee wen she dies she just becomes alife a gain!" It all made sense, the turrent was a bloody geinus!

Well, they can’t very well feed her potatoes when she’s a headless corpse, so swing and a miss.

"Common lets wankin go!"

Does anyone know what MarissaTheWriter thinks “wanking” means?

The Oracle Turrent ranned fast an I rolled on my rale right to the zombee taters quikly we grabbed up all of them an got back to Marrissa body.

How are they grabbing things when neither of them have arms?

I coldnt help but cry at the site of my troo love with head all open an messy.

Yeah, sounds pretty gross.

"Its ok Wheatly soon she will life!" The turrent made me more happy an we started stuffin the buggerin taters in Marrissas mouth.

So she’ll come back to life, promptly choke on potatoes, and die again. Excellent plan.

Then she started coffin an all the blood was got healed.

I hope “coffin” was a pun. On second thought, no I don’t.

"W Wheetly?" She asked in the most butiful voice in the hole portal worled.

Marissa, give GLaDOS her vocal processor back right now and no one gets hurt.

"Oh Marrissa I thot you were bloody gone for wankin ever!" We hugged an kissed an things was gettin hot an heavy so the Oracle Turrent left becos he didant want to see that kinna stuff.

I don’t either. I’m going with the turret.

MEANWHILE IN THE PAST

…thinking about whether or not that phrase makes sense is hurting my head. Moving on.

Teen Fortress 2 was MAD an PEEVED at Gabe Jonson an his dotter Marrissa Roberts for killin there leader Cave Jonson.

Hey, hang on a second. Whose point of view are we from now?

They wanted ervange speshally on Marrissa sinse with out her Gabe wold not have been a hard fight.

I’m going to assume for now that we’re just in third person.

"We shold right a mean things on her facebook page!" The evil Heavy dummed. "No you idot this is the past facebook isnt invented yet!" The evil Medik extricated.

Interesting how they know about Facebook although it’s not been invented yet.

All of em was angry but coldnt thing of a way to revenge Marrissa when the evil Ingineer got a idea. "I no! We will create an evil clone of Marrissa an send it to the futur an kill her!" It was a good plan.

Evil clones are always a good plan!

After school the teen fortress all gotted together at evil Ingineers hose an builded the clone mashine.

Ah, yes, the clone machine.

How are they going to clone her? She left. She’s in the future. Doing something I’d rather not think about with Wheatley.

"But we dont have dna evidance?" Evil Sniper said in sexay british aksent.

I doubt that, seeing as he’s Australian.

But the evil spy lolled an pulled out some thing. "I stolled some of her hare just in case we needed it for some thing."

Outside of making evil clones, is there really much use for hair samples?

He frenched an gave evil Ingine the hare an they started to clone Marrissa.

You cannot use “he frenched” like that. You just can’t.

A few mins later the clonin was done an a gurl stepped out hoo looked kinna like Marrissa but more evil an mean with angry face.

So she looks like Chell, but meaner and hotter. Alright. I’m into it.

"I am Assiram Strebor an I will kill Marrissa Roberts!"

Nice backwards name. Oh, sorry. Ecin sdrawkcab eman.

TO BE CONTINUED!

OH NO! CAN MARRISSA STOPS HER EVIL CLOWN?

I recommend getting a group of kids to fight it in a sewer somewhere in Maine.

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON ITS MY LIFE|!

She’s right! Tune in next time for some evil clone and/or evil clown fighting action!

Next chapter

#itsmylife.mst #fandom:portal #halfworld.mst

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deckspair · 5 years

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Da Capo al Coda | Shinobu | Trial 4.5 | ATTN: Law, UM, Neo, robots

Not having to endure any snide remarks from Ukiyo-maemi was a huge plus, though Shinobu was still unhappy with her relatively gentle callout; their posture was rigid when she spoke of how they didn’t want to say the correct name. It wasn’t like they were just… They really were trying, but there was just…

“Wh… Why did I hesitate to say Illuminator…? Because I don’t want to believe it’s you! I-I don’t want to believe anyone here is capable of… of destroying Oda-san’s face, but… but… I can’t always get what I want, right?”

It sounded almost childishly petulant, saying something that when so many people were dead and the few still alive were a hair away from tearing each other apart. It drew from the same poisoned well that Shinobu got their confidence and ability to trust from. Sometimes, you did everything right and you still suffered for it.

Besides, if it was Ukiyo-maemi, then Shinobu would have to confront the idea that Law N. and Nonoka might still be alive had they just taken initiative.

Their body language was guarded; Shinobu couldn’t bring themself to look at anyone, instead imagining all the many ways they must be disappointed in them for not bringing the promised hard evidence, or the many ways they were angry at each other because now the two outcasts had become the two prime suspects.

So, which one was it? Or was it neither? At this rate, no one would ever find out the truth.

“…We’re going nowhere. We’re just going to go in circles. I… I want to go through all of the info again. Help me fill in the blanks.

Junshu-san said that a sledgehammer had been missing since yesterday. This was… definitely, very definitely planned. Someone had been planning to kill since yesterday and it’s just a question of who.

I hadn’t seen Nonoka-san or Oda-san since yesterday afternoon. And Neo-kun said Nonoka-san didn’t come back to the dorm at all that night. So… so, unless someone can say they’ve seen them any later than the afternoon, it’s likely th-they were dead the entire time.

Kiyuu-san’s claims about the boutique being locked since the late afternoon lines up with it, too. It would… buy time for whoever locked it to clean up. The… problem is, only the robots, Ukiyo-maemi-san, and Kiyuu-san could have locked the boutique.

…the boutique. Oda-san was killed near the clown mannequins and dragged off to the side; there was a trail. But… there were two splotches by the mannequins, overlapping. Was she moved slightly? Did she have a second injury be…besides the facial wound? Or… was a second person attacked there? Nonoka-san?”

They paused, tugging on the hems of their vest as they tried to think of where to go from here.

“Nonoka-san was probably at the boutique at some point, per the request. And… there was definitely at least one other party. Someone who wrote to Nonoka-san asking her to g-go there, then left behind a second note near Oda-san.

…maybe, maybe there were two different authors at play, a-and only the second one was the killer. But… it would be very suspect that the first author – the one contacting Nonoka-san – hasn’t said anything.”

That was exactly what their rambling muttering needed. More goddamn theories that did nothing but complicate matters.

“…Moving on… The person who did this was wearing a rain poncho – possibly inside-out – and evening gloves, both from the boutique. They… attempted to wash off in the greenhouse. They threw the gloves into the dirt and took the poncho back into the boutique. I didn’t… see any signs of laundry use. But if this really did begin during the afternoon, that’s… that’s more than enough time to clean up and dry off thoroughly. Although…”

Shinobu blinked.

“Although, the poncho was still wet during investigation. The hose was still wet and there was a puddle of bloody water nearby. …when, exactly, did the killer wash themself off…?”

Just more questions that no one seemed to have an answer to.

“I’m seeing… three scenarios here.

One: U… Ukiyo-maemi-san wrote to Nonoka-san, met her in the boutique, and attacked her. Oda-san stumbled onto this and intervened; Nonoka-san fled with mortal wounds, but Oda-san died first, invalidating the deal. Ukiyo-maemi-san wrote both notes.

Two: Oda-san and Kiyuu-san met at the boutique first and got in a fight; he killed her. Possibly in self-defense. Nonoka-san arrived b-because she’d been summoned, and was killed just because she was a witness. Kiyuu-san wrote the boutique note, but… who wrote the message to Nonoka-san?

…Two-and-a-half: Both of those are true. Half-true. Ukiyo-maemi wrote one note and Kiyuu-san wrote the other, and the latter somehow forged the former’s handwriting. Which was itself fake. That… err, right. That sounds ridiculous.

…and three: The robots themselves did this. I… find this unlikely, because… because then why wouldn’t FrogBot leave after killing Ness-san, i-if the robots wanted to set up their exit? I don’t… think they intend to abandon us. Unfortunately. Besides, I don’t… I sort of doubt SpiderBot could fit in a poncho. Long legs.”

long legs, daisy dukes, makes a bot go CHCK CHCK

Shinobu took a deep breath. Their anxiety was coming and going in waves, but that just left them fatigued during the calmer moments. All they wanted to do was pass out and hope that no one else would be gone when they woke up five days later. But of course they couldn’t be that lucky. Not when they were struggling to understand why this all had to happen.

“I have… several questions. New ones, I mean, th-though I still want to know what Nonoka-san’s nicknames for Kiyuu-san and Oda-san were.

Neo-kun… Is it possible that Ukiyo-maemi-san’s target could have been Nonoka-san? Th-that’s a yes-or-no question. Don’t… try to explain why you think that.”

Shinobu hated having to be this opaque about what was going on in their head, but it was the only way to not endanger anyone else. They didn’t know if this question would actually lead anywhere, but… but if it did, it could be important.

“To the robots… What happens if there are multiple killers? Do we vote them both? What if one of them is already dead?”

Just addressing them felt like trying to dance along to a routine where there was no choreography: Shinobu had to improvise and measure their reactions and hope that they had said the exact right thing.

They pulled their tablet out to prepare for the next question, wanting to get the quote right

“Next, ah… What does… everyone think of the boutique note’s meaning? ‘I was a clown. Killed someone. Not my target. Must not let anyone escape unfairly, would rather more people die - but this justice brings me no meaning.’

I’m… I-I’m having trouble understanding their so-called justice. What do they think they did that’s just? Killing Oda-san? Killing Nonoka-san? Or, maybe, maybe… was it… supposed to be mocking Oda-san somehow? Pretending to be in her voice, blaming her for what happened… Or… maybe it is their own voice and I just can’t understand a viewpoint like this.”

That thought was capped with a puff of breath, a hollow chuckle. Shinobu was way in over their head.

“Finally… Is anyone’s clothing wet or stained right now? Shoes, thick fabric – anything that might dry slowly. Should we… check for that? Priority going to…”

To the suspects, to the two prime suspects.

Shinobu was really sick of condemning classmates and friends to death.

#chapter 4 #trial 4 #shinobu #submission

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indiikaa · 7 years

Text

Meeks CinemaSins’ Wreck-it Ralph

This is what I did last weekend when I slowly went insane. It’s under the cut, btw...

Because my ISP has decided to fuck up our service for the past four days, I have been stuck watching BLU-Rays. Unfortunately, I don’t have that many BLU-rays to watch, so I’ve been mostly watching one of my favourite movies over and over again. Which movie? Wreck-It Ralph.

Now, when this happened before, I did this hilarious Watch Through where I wrote down EVERYTHING I thought was weird, funny, or just wanted to point out in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. Kind of like Cinema Sins but with more humor/ insight. I decided to do it again with Wreck-it Ralph because I mean, come on.

START

v When you pause, Chris Hardwick talks to you.

v Why did Ralph never make a house in the dump like he does at the end of the movie beforehand? Sleeping on Bricks has to hurt.

v In the intro, Felix doesn’t actually fully fix the building, there are still broken windows near Ralph.

v Is the bulldozer sentient by itself or if there someone inside it?

v Where does the bulldozer live?

v You can see a lake and a nice forest behind the Niceland apartment, with a nice walk around it; why doesn’t Ralph live near there? He can move his stump there!

v Despite what everyone says; Zombie is definitely from Night of the Living Dead, a real arcade game about Zombies with Hatchets. I swear.

v Bowsers hair looks very... not Bowser.

v Kano put that heart away that’s gross.

v Why is Clyde the only Pac-man ghost we see at Bad-Anon? Are the others at Tappers? We see them in Game Central Station, so they must have gone somewhere.

v Does Eggman wear a rubber jacket? Cause... wtf Eggman.

v M. Bison should bring snacks.

v Zangief is a good friend, he even saved Ralph a spot on the tram!

v That Turtle looks like he’s enjoying his book...

v Beware of roaming packs of Space Marines.

v Why was Q*Bert unplugged? They never tell us why!

v I get that DJ Hero was a thing and all, but... WHY?

v So Pac-Man, Sonic, Skrillex, Some sun dude, A turtle named Glen from Frogger, A bartending Clown, Mario, some gram crackers, all the Nicelanders and Felix were invited to the party, but no one invited Ralph? They wouldn’t have a GAME without Ralph!

v Why don’t Ralph and Felix move like the Nicelanders?

v Gene is such a pompous asshole. Like, there’s absolutely no reason for it.

v You mean to tell me in 30 years, no one’s even taken the time to get to know Ralph? Ralph is better off without the Nicelanders.

v Gene, that was totally unnecessary.

v I agree Felix, let’s just eat the cake.

v Gene just makes the situation worse. Ralph should wreck him. Not that way.

v Why are all the splatters pink? Shouldn’t they be multi-coloured?

v I see a Space Invader!

v Tapper has to be busy every night. Like, so many games, One bar game...

v How did the Metal Gear Solid exclamation mark get into the lost and found? Metal Gear doesn’t have an arcade version...

v Markowski’s callsign is “Hold Em!”. No seriously, his shoulder pad says his callsign.

v Or it could be Ace, because all the cards are Aces.

v You can see the port that Q*Bert would have been plugged into.

v There is absolutely no way that Fix-if Felix JR. and Hero’s Duty would be plugged into the same power block. Not unless you want a shit ton of cables that cause a tripping hazard.

v Why does Calhoun not wear the same uniform as everyone else?

v Literally she’s more vulnerable because she has less protection.

v Unless it’s coded that she can’t get hit by a Cybug.

v The girl literally screams, but then seems not to care the next second. Wtf is with that?

v Okay so I have a few beefs about Sugar Rush, but the main one this early in the movie is this:

As we learn later, the roster changes every day. This gives us a total of 9 racers per day, as it’s a

3x3 column. Remember this.

v The Nicelanders are all worried, it’s their fault that their game is Out Of Order.

v They’re all surprised that Ralph Gamejumps. I would too if I was treated like dirt.

v It took Ralph ALL DAY to climb the tower? It takes him maybe 3 seconds to climb to the top of the Niceland Tower. Nope, not buying it.

v If Hero’s Duty is only the landing strip and the tower, with the drop off vehicle at the end of the landing strip, where do all the AI live?

v What triggers all the eggs to hatch when the game starts?

v Why are there stairs when the First Person Shooter AI-Bot thing has wheels? It won’t be able to make it up the stairs, unless they turn into a ramp.

v Baby Cybugs are adorable.

v Okay, Ralph just activated so many baby Cybugs. Why did they not hatch?

v Sonic, you weren’t even hit by that, why did you lose your rings?

v To think about it, why are there even escape pods at the top of Hero’s Duty? Is it so when it’s Game Over and they made it to the top of the tower, that the AI can escape?

v Why does Sugar Rush have its name written in mint sticks?

v Pocky Pussywillows. Yummy.

v Who gave Sarah Silverman a microphone?

v Why do Double Stripes break? There is no reason for anyone to know this except for Ralph’s inconvenience.

v No, seriously, I’m hung up on this tree thing. Why in a game about racing is there a rule about not touching double-stripe tree branches? Unless it’s a part of a race track where you race through the trees or something and the track gives way under you if you go across a double stripe area...

v When Ralph is hanging from the Double Stripe branch, why does it take so long to disappear?! The others were instant!

v Okay so why are Hero’s Duty, Sugar Rush and Fix-it Felix JR. all plugged not the same extension? That’s impossible, since they’re all across from each other in separate sides of two isles.

v Some of the Graffiti is hilarious, but I don’t think Arcade Games would know who Leroy Jenkins is. Or Aerith for that matter.

v How can Burger Time be Now Playing, if the arcade is closed?

v Where the hell does Calhoun hide that giant gun? Know what? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

v Those FIFA guys keep walking around in the background in the same loop cycle.

v 14 of the Sugar Rush racers show up. If you look closely, most of the background ones are wearing the same thing – Parkas, Bows or hats with pig tails. Are they just bad re-skins of the same character, or all different characters?

v Wouldn’t that get confusing to the gamers though? It’s the same character design but just a different colour.

v The 9 racers of the day were: Rancis Taffyta, Blue Pigtails, Candlehead, King Candy, Pumpkinhead, Blue Parka, Snowcone hair and Green Bow. I’m going to guess that you can’t have more of the same “character” on the roster because that would confuse players, or would it?

v Unless their all related.

v What would players who have played Sugar Rush in other arcades think if they saw King Candy, if you know his story? Would they be like “Who the hell is King Candy? Where’s Princess Von Schweetz?”

v What if you’ve never won a race? Are you just not allowed to race?

v All the Racers names:

Taffyta Muttonfudge, Crumbelina Di Caramello, Gloyd Orangeboar, Adorabeezle Winterpop, Citrusella Flugpucker, Nougetsia Brumblestain, Sticky Wipplesnit, Minty Zaki, Snowanna Rainbeau, Rancis Fluggerbutter, Jubileena Bing-Bing, Swizzle Malarkey, Candlehead, Vanellope Von Schweetz and King Candy.

v Looking at the names, none of the racers could be related in any way, so why are half of them just reskins of the other half?!

v Who names their kid Rancis?! No seriously, check the scoreboard, it says his name is Rancis, not Francis.

v If Vanellope is really a glitch, why would her picture appear next to her name? Wouldn’t it be a placeholder icon? Or wouldn’t her name be all glitch?

v Someone didn’t lock up the narrators memories.

v Why is there a random cupcake standing on a pedestal like that? It makes no sense.

v Police Brutality.

v Taffyta, his name is RANCIS, not Francis. Get it right.

v How does King Candy know who Ralph even is? Vanellope didn’t know who he was, but if it isn’t obvious that there’s something up with him...

v More Police brutality.

v Ha ha, Disney bought Star Wars just to use Darth Vader’s breathing noises.

v Okay, so if Vanellope is at the Junkyard “fixing” her cart, why doesn’t she make one out of the thrown-out carts instead? There’s wheels, full carts with no engines; so all she’d need is an engine to go.

v Only 10 of the racers show up, so one of each duplicate racer can come gang up on Vanellope’s car.

v Wtf is Snowanna’s car even supposed to be? (Snowconehead)

v At least Vanellope gets Rancis’s name right.

v Why are they so offended with her car?

v Who died and made Taffyta Queen of the Racetrack? Oh right.

v Why is there a broken stoplight? Who killed the stoplight?!

v That Jawbreaker split really cleanly...

v Felix, seriously? You are so dense that you can’t see that something is wrong?

v Turbo Time was next to Fix-it Felix JR..

v How does Turbo hitting the car a cause for a glitch-out? It makes no sense.

v And even so, when we learn what happens to Turbo, how did he game-jump for so long without anyone knowing?

v How does Felix know what Laffy Taffy is?

v Why is he Fix-it Felix JR. when his uniform just says Felix?

v Why does his hammer work outside the game?

v He totally can’t hold her, he’s not even half her size.

v How DID the Cybug survive the Candy Swamp anyway?

v How does one enter the Make Your Kart mini-game?

v Does Sugar Rush have a Make Your Own Racer area too? That would be better than the 4000 different reskinned characters.

v There is NO WAY that Kart would come out looking like that, from THAT mess. Nope, not happening.

v Is it like in real racing arcades where you can create a profile, put in your secret code and keep playing from last time?

v Why is there a Nutrition Facts label in the Security Office?

v Get it? Their Bear Claws. That’s why they’re C.L.A.W.

v Hidden Mickey!

v There is no way that Ralph and Vanellope are faster than King Candy and the cops.

v Wouldn’t King Candy know about the hidden passage?

v How does Vanellope know the lollipops are sugar-free?

v Mentos agreed to this.

v Wouldn’t broiling hot diet coke smell really bad? It sure tastes bad.

v Where do the other kids live in Sugar Rush? The trailer park or? We don’t see a village or houses or anything...

v How many different tracks are there in Sugar Rush anyway? We see at least three – the unfinished bonus level, the one the kids race on, and the one at the end of the movie.

v Why did Vanellope look around her dashboard for the start button? She literally has only ONE button on her dash! The rest are lights!

v Why would Racing be the only thing that Vanellope still has in her code? Wouldn’t King Candy have taken that out too?

v Why is the Contra code something in an Arcade?

v I don’t think Sugar Rush was made by Nintendo.

v I don’t think it was even on the NES, not with those graphics.

v Why is King Candy’s profile so much bigger than everyone elses? Is it because racers think he’s a super rare character or something?

v Technically, wouldn’t he glitch out because, he’s not from Sugar Rush?

v Great example of PTSD.

v Why does Felix refer to Ralph as his friend? He hasn’t done anything to warrant calling Ralph a friend!

v When did Vanellope have the time to make Ralph the cookie medal?

v Why did King Candy return to where he last saw Ralph and Vanellope anyway?

v If King Candy took the medal out of the pot, wouldn’t the game glitch and Vanellope be unable to race? Technically she bought her way in with the game thinking the medal was a coin, so why not?

v According to King Candy, Sugar Rush is next to Dig Dug.

v King Candy knows a lot about what happens when a game is unplugged. Was that the fate the twins had when Turbo Time was unplugged or? Did Turbo just sadistically watch his game get unplugged and watch the twins glitch out trying to get out?

v How can Ralph hold onto Vanellope when she glitches?

v Vanellope is seen glitching off the tree, why doesn’t she just glitch off before Ralph breaks the kart?

v Wouldn’t Ralph have seen the other Nicelanders in Game Central Station when he was heading back to Fix-it Felix JR.?

v Why did Gene stay behind? To shove it in Ralph’s face?

v Gene, he seriously wanted friends and you’re just being an asshat. Good riddance.

v When Ralph looks to Sugar Rush (Which brings back the question: HOW ARE THEY PLUGGED IN THR SAME POWER BLOCK?!), we see Vanellope in a racing-style outfit. Why don’t we ever see her in this outfit?

v We also see her driving her actual kart, wouldn’t that tip Ralph off that King Candy isn’t driving the right kart, since he drives Vanellope’s original kart, with added horns and flags?

v How was King Candy able to lock up memories?

v How does Sour Bill know how to fix Vanellope’s code? Wouldn’t he have forgotten, or King Candy forced him to forget?

v Oh hey, I forgot Calhoun was in this still.

v Calhoun’s GPS sets off the Cybug’s eggs, so why did Ralph touching them with his foot earlier only set off one and not the whole gang?

v Felix, you hit the broken bar with your hammer. Bar repaired and strengthened itself. You didn’t touch it; you hit it with a hammer.

v Try using your fists next time.

v It took 30 years, almost drowning in chocolate milk mix, and being imprisoned for Felix to finally realize what Ralph goes through every day.

v That “Bad Girl” sign was awfully specific.

v “Glitch Proof” but what if it’s not actually a glitch?

v Wow, it took them like 4 hours to clean up the starting track.

v Hah, she burned out at the start line.

v Why is there, excluding King Candy, only one male racer?

v They stole item blocks from Mario Kart. Quick Nintendo, sue them!

v Who let Candlehead put fire on her kart?!

v Cybugs are Asexual reproducers.

v Who is the stupid racer who is only like 10 feet from the start line? Like, really?!

v How did King Candy know about the secret road?

v How could no one figure out King Candy was Turbo? Like, wouldn’t he have been missing for a while and wouldn’t people wonder what happened to him after he game jumped?

v As many have theorized before: Vanellope’s glitch isn’t actually a glitch, it’s an ability, since she can use it at will even at the end of the movie.

v Why did the sky suddenly go dark? Having Cybugs appear wouldn’t magically change the skyline, unless they ate the code for day.

v Why would Turbo’s Cybug body looks totally different than any other Cybug? Is it because he’s a “virus” or a Glitch in the game?

v That was incredibly selfish of you, Ralph.

v Fucking Bad Guy Affirmation. Tissue time.

v Okay, I get this is a super emotional scene and I admit to crying in the theater when I saw it, but who’s car did Vanellope steal? Why didn’t she glitch hers out of the crash and go after Ralph with her own?

v I get the cola is broiling hot but that wouldn’t destroy the Cybugs, would it? In Hero’s Duty, the Beacon is like a bug zapper. This is just hot cola.

v Why are Ralph and Vanellope drenched? Before, the chocolate didn’t work like that.

v Why does Vanellope’s code have her hair like she’s had it during the movie (in a pony tail), and on the side of the box (still in a pony tail), but when she’s Princess Vanellope, her hair is in a bun?

v I love you, Calhoun.

v Would racers at Litwak’s Arcade think Vanellope is a super secret unlocked racer or something, because she would have never been seen before?

v She can still glitch, so there has to be a reason for that in that it’s her special power.

v So, why are the Nicelanders nice to Ralph at the end of the movie? Did Felix talk to them or something? Why? It makes no sense!

v Zombie smiling is weird.

v Wouldn’t the Q*bert guys glitch out or something in Fix-it Felix JR.?

v Isn’t it taboo to wear the same wedding dress?

v Wait, why would the racers get coins? At the end, Vanellope gets a trophy. Where do the coins come from?

v Was it the surge protector responsible for all that graffiti?

v Doom/Wolfeinstein-Style Hero’s Duty. Okay.

v Ralph is overkill in destroying the car come on man.

v Felix looks weird in 64-bit.

v Look at all the Medals they left behind! There’s no way that between the four of them, they didn’t get all the medals.

v Overall, Wreck-it Ralph took place over the span of approximately two days. (“I’ll get someone to look at it tomorrow, but if he can’t fix it, it may be time to put ol’ Ralph and Felix out to pasture, like my Nana!” – Mr. Litwak). One of those days, Calhoun is in Sugar Rush trying to find Ralph with Felix; who did she leave someone in charge of Hero’s Duty – Like Cohut? – or?

v See Timeline of Events to understand that one.

v Q*bert!

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tony-the-toe-snatcher · 3 years

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i got tagged by @almuerdesayuno and i'm always a slut for tag games so absolutely i'm gonna do this

1.) Why did you choose your URL?

tony the toe snatcher is the name i gave to a voice id do of a mob boss that steals people toes. it makes everyone uncomfortable and is probably the reason people don't want to follow me lolololol

2.) Any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them

I have one side blog for Bungou Stray Dogs! it's @bsdwherearethedogs and i made it because i got really into bsd and didn't wanna flood peoples dashes with my weeb shit

3.) How long have you been on tumblr?

since 2013 i think? so 8 years then? damn

4.) Do you have a queue tag?

you think i use the queue function?

5.) Why did you start your blog in the first place?

my sister had a tumblr so i decided to get one too. the first time i actually reblogged something was like 3 years after i first started my blog though, i'm not sure why i didn't bother before then

6.) Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i love the caterpillar emoji and i'm a lesbian. i am a simple creature

7.) Why did you choose your header?

i love moomin and i thought it was cute. i like the colors and the way snorkmaiden looks

8.) What's your post with the most notes?

I made a post celebrating some of the canon wlw couples in shows in like 2020(?) and now it has almost 10,000 notes. there is Discourse in the notes. i am suffering from fame

9.) How many mutuals do you have?

several? does anyone know this number off the top of their head? idk but i love all of them dearly i see you in my notes and i go 🥰🥰🥰

10.) How many followers do you have?

177 (most of those are probably bots i haven't bothered to block tho)

11.) How many people do you follow?

194 which is surprising i thought it was way more. i'm gonna try and change that lol

12.) Have you ever made a shitpost?

yea probably. i think i posted just the word egg once but i can't remember

13.) How often do you use tumblr each day?

a lot. even more now that i have my side blog, i feel like i spend 90% of my time finding new stuff to put on it. i probably spend 3+ hours each day on here

14.) Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? who won?

actually i get unlimited amounts of pussy so i don't have any time to get into arguments with people on fucking tumblr dot com

15.) How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

i don't like them and sometimes that addition will be the exact reason i don't reblog something

16.) Do you like tag games?

yesyesyesyesyes a thousand times yes i love talking and participating in silly little internet games please tag me when you see something i might like!

17.) Do you like ask games?

i do! i haven't done very many but i'd love to do more drop into my inbox any time!!!!

18.) Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i know plaid-n-converse at least has that one viral post but idk about anyone else lololol. based on the clowns that still pop up in the one popular post i have i hope none of y'all are tumblr famous

19.) Do you have a crush on a mutual?

yeah @grandmaroadkill (don't tell her shhhh)

thank you again for the tag i hope you feel enlightened and i'll tag @bazookapussy-stankhoe-5000 @grandmaroadkill @grandma-ass-slapper @nuclearpastaslut and @your-local-lesbo (i've never tagged you before but if you'd like to please feel free! if not disregard this lolol)

#tag game #thank u very much i love talking about myself for no reason it makes me smile

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hgfstreamchats · 5 years

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Jason Goes to Hell

Come on Kast... Kast, just once. Just. Once. Hello! Remember when we used livestream and the only thing we had to worry about were the many, many problems inherent in livestream? Hello, night human! I remember it fondly. Those were the days. I still have no audio. Hmmm... is there--yeah, me neither Still no audio? Nope. Still none Oh afts. Mmmmaybe you have something muted in kast itself? I cannot hear the terrible dance. Drat. It's very possible. It went through some kind of hideous update. Great. Glorious. Hmmmm. Nothing? Nothing Nothing. I hear it! there it is! GLORIOUS!

And it just cut out And it's back There. There we are. What was the problem? Wonderful! Emulator nonsense, the usual. Ahhh Look at that pumpkin man go. He's certainly got the music in him. What precisely is this? ohhhhh jeez I'm also wondering Either an underrated found footage film or pure garbage. We're watching now so that if it's filth, we still have time to end the month on a high note. I see... "remember that name" Once again, I already care nothing for these characters! This filming format is so obnoxious. I'm sure there's a totally normal reason he's setting up a camera in his RV like that Whichever one did that is now Smokescreen. Somehow I guess it didn't occur to me that haunted houses would run for more than one day The general idea of the thing sounds fun. I'd do it if I were human or capable of fitting into human buildings. There you go! Just make a found footage film starring me! Just stick your head in, it'll be fine "I'm here, you all figure out the rest." There are outdoor haunts. Or haunted corn mazes. You could possibly attend one of those. Yeah! Just drive around in it As I suspect a maze loses some of its charm when you can just step over the walls Don't tempt me. I'll do it and the Autobot pets will whine to the Autobots. I would tempt you just to get the pets to whine about it. I guess you could also see if someone from one of those universes where they can project holoforms further, is willing to share If I do, I demand a copy of the report so I can frame it. This is how to get kicked off a property. ... yikes I hate them all immensely. So, do you think that these terrible people will die, or just annoy us for an hour and a half? So do they die, or what Ugh. Even the Blair Witch humans weren't this obnoxious. These wretches would fit in with the pretentious Book of Shadow humans. Shut up! ?? Them, not either of you. I feel like even if your conceit is "found footage", you can damn well edit it to only the interesting bits But if we don't see the worthless chaff, then how will we know it's "art"? If they don't stop talking, ever, how else can we be expected to care whether they live or die? And you get that same "wait, why were they even filming this in the first place" feeling At this point, I'm solidly on Team Clown. Ah. So they are being stalked by the actors from the first haunt they pissed off. So spooky. I think so? Why did they... let them in For maximum spooky. "okay this isn't so much 'scary' as 'awkward'" What exactly did they do at the first haunt? I, uh, may have gotten up for a minute to get the kettle If anyone has suggestions for real horror movies that would go down nicely after this, do feel free to throw them out, because we're not touching the sequel with a 40 foot pole. And apparently missed Vital Plot Info (tm) They climbed an unattended ladder, and screeched at the waiting line crowd. Ohhhh. Yeah, not cool Do you want a real good horror movie, or a real silly horror movie? Either, any! Well, there is always Jason Goes to Hell. Or Texas Chainsaw 3D OH! Yes! Either is infinitely more fun than this. Jason Goes to Hell it is! OH WHAT A SHAME IT'S THE END AND THEY'RE DYING. HOWEVER DID THIS HAPPEN. WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED Are they actually dying? Hopefully? BUT THEY'VE LOST NONE OF THEIR USUAL CHARM, CLEARLY. Shaun! Damn it, don't make me laugh when I'm about to drink something Oh no! He got vaguely attacked in the dark. And she got red kool-aide on her sweater. She'll never get those stains out! The true tragedy. The frag would this be filmed? Uh oh, is it time for snakes Why does that one get cushions and kool aide doesn't? ...who's filming that She got a snack instead. I don't despise kool aide like I do beard-face. By all means, none of you try to push out while the dirt is pile on soft and shallow. *piled Oh, shut up. Thank you. I think that was as much of that as we needed to see They didn't have the decency to *die* entertaining. This should be much more entertaining. People die in ridiculous ways. Do you know what irritates me most of all? It had such a compelling title. That's what lured me in. I assumed nothing with a title that good could possibly be bad. If it had been a real documentary on the haunted house industry, then I think it would have been good. It would have been! Yeah, that could have been interesting! This is already more interesting. What a necessary scene, I'm sure It is a horror movie. Jason looks...bloated. He's a bit worse for wear. Comes of being in the lake all that time Oh hey So she was the bait Was that an air strike And then he explodes. That should do it. Graphic design is their passion. It just does this the rest of the movie. The longest mid-credit roll of them all. Ha. Just keep poking it. What I'm getting is that there were just a whole bunch of people who wanted prominence in the credits, and sacrifices had to be made The scale numbers changing is a nice touch Uh Ew ...Huh. I feel bad for that guy This is the Friday movie that was made just after New Line purchased the rights. They... did not know how to make a proper Jason movie. Oh boy o oh Hi! is this a youtube poop Hey! It's Jason Goes To Hell Smokescreen! Woojit! What is this? You barely missed the credits! Oooh! I did it! I came just in time! What you missed: a military op killed Jason, then when the coroner was disecting him, his heart started beating and he possessed the coroner. That's just how it is sometimes! Apparently! Oooh, this is like a scraplet horror fantasy novel I read like, vorns ago It is? Like, the body snatching? Oh! ... are they smoking in the cafe??? is that allowed? Used to be. does everyone do that or is he just doing it because Apparently they're all just...like this? That's how it is. ... Can I smoke in here? I would prefer you did not. Oh, good, important information to be imparted later! I'm sure everyone will survive until then Since when do you smoke, Smokescreen? Well, one or two times, Wheeljack gave me something and it wasn't bad! "haha just a joke, only like eighty people have died there" This certainly is how people talk. Uh. Ugh. I mean, I wouldn't want to be in the tent after whatever slag they're getting int-oh "I'll just sleep outside and listen." Like any good friend on an awkward camping trip. Of course. Nothing says "third wheel" like being the one who gets to sleep OUTSIDE the tent, half-naked You'd think they might have brought an extra tent. Sometimes, you just want to frag a tree .....*What?* Not everyone has your love of plant life, Smokescreen. What? NO I didn't mean it like that! Like... Some humans really are tree huggers? Nothing wrong with tree-fraggin! . . . . There was a human in the last film that frags pumpkins. We thought of you. Woojit, I'm gonna find an owl movie just for you. It won't be anywhere near as painful as said last movie. Unless it is a found footage owl movie. "nah, we don't need a condom, we're not surviving the movie anyway" w Primus, was the last movie THAT bad? It was wretched. Just intolerable. From what we saw, it seemed to be about 10 minutes of plot drawn out into an hour and a half of movie With zero (0) likeable characters I have to admit, this wasn't really what I was expecting This movie's just all over the place. Oh dear. It's the worst Friday movie. But still entertaining in a terrible way. No, I don't know why this is happening. That is definitely how reflections work. Magic! Wait, this is a friday movie? Yes. Jason Goes to Hell, part 9. Oh, I thought all Jasons were just like that. ... I saw a Jason movie with a bot not that long ago, huh! So... did he shave him out of like... vanity? he didn't want a moustache? christ The classic 'A body swapped Jason killed that lady' misunderstanding. Agent Scully! Man, how many people do you think were like "jason swapped bodies with me :(" in court ..... is jason the baby No? Oh so that's the asshole bounty hunter or whatever Now I want, no, need Jason to be the baby. I know, right? With a tiny, baby sized knife and hockey mask? What the hell is wrong with this guy Who doesn't enjoy breaking fingers to pay off the exposition dump? Man, I'm pretty sure I would've gotten kicked out the autobots and broken everyone's fingers if I broke someone's fingers everytime I started expositioning It sounds like a Soundwave method more than anything. Yep. Its name is Jason. I hope he didn't just taste that Facebook Oh good, the Necronomicon See, because it had a face in the cover-- How did he manage to steal a body? what the fuck Hopefully HE'LL--yep, guess so! Bleh Well, that takes care of that. She's crying because her shower stream is so weak. Kidnap her. Women love that. I feel like maybe he could have accomplished more by calling her from jail or something Instead of all these shenanigans oh UGH UGH. UGH. Are you not entertained? Uh oh Hah! ...Did that do it? Did the right person kill him? Nope. Ah Jason was more interesting when he only cared about his mother and his lake. I did mention this was worst Friday movie. ...I'm not sure that WAS him I mean, Jason hasn't actually... talked, so far It was a terrible worm thing, this whole time. I didn't think he could downgrade from the spaghetti-gut rotting corpse but here we are. Ohhhh shit There he is! I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that Oh what that pit sure came in handy Not the puppet hands! And there you have it. What a twist, kind of! Well! Still better nonsense than the last one. A marked improvement. And to think I thought this movie was going to be about him going to hell and, I don't know, stabbing demons or something. You're not the only one. I want a toyota beef! That would have been more fun, and that's not allowed. Hehehe. TWO things are wrong in the picture! ... isn't the kid pushing floating The boy is floating! What What. ... Does primus does primus have a good question doesn't he hang out on tumblr? you could ask him next time you see him Oh yes, that sounds like a good idea. That won't go wrong, I'm sure. Technically I didn't say it was a good idea It's an awesome idea! Primus adores me Then go right ahead, Smokescreen. You got it! It'll at least go better than calling Unicron a dilf ...You called Unicron a what a dilf? Why did you do that? To bug him? Oh, well then. One day that may come back to literally bite you in the aft. Well, that's all I've got! Well, once again, thanks for the stream! woojit woojit woojit I've got a horror movie for us for sometime! Thank you for that stream salvaging suggestion, Starscream. Oh, what? *listening face* The Brave Little Toaster? Yes, thanks! You know the sene It was the least I could offer. This was much better than the other thing Absolutely not. I'm not that sadistic. Oh. ... Am I that sadistic Oh my It's, uh, it's a pretty gruesome movie in some ways I'm sure nobody thinks you're sadistic, Smokescreen I think he tries. Oh, he already left. Unless that's Kast being weird again. The Brave Little Toaster is the sadistic one. Well, goodnight! Goodnight, All. Good night, everyone!

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robgrayofficial · 5 years

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HAPPY SATURDAY SUNDAY GUNDAY PATRIOTS!This is u/Ivaginaryfriend here and although I'm a day late (Complicated Business folks) I'm back with all things dank and spicy from the past week! If you happened to miss any past recaps you can catch those here!Sunday, May 19th:TODAY'S ACTION:Proclamation on Adjusting Imports of Aluminum into the United StatesProclamation on Adjusting Imports of Steel into the United States🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:For all of the Fake News Sunday Political Shows, whose bias & dishonesty is greater than ever seen in our Country before, please inform your viewers that our Economy is setting records, with more people employed today than at any time in U.S. history, our Military, which.... ... ....was a depleted disaster, will soon be stronger than ever before, our Vets are finally being taken care of and now have Choice, our Courts will have 145 great new Judges, and 2 Supreme Court Justices, got rid of the disastrous Individual Mandate & will protect Pre-Existing.... ... ....Conditions, drug prices down for first time in 51 years (& soon will drop much further), Right to Try, protecting your 2nd Amendment, big Tax & Reg Cuts, 3.2 GDP, Strong Foreign Policy, & much much more that nobody else would have been able to do. Our Country is doing GREAT!Never a fan of @justinamash, a total lightweight who opposes me and some of our great Republican ideas and policies just for the sake of getting his name out there through controversy. If he actually read the biased Mueller Report, “composed” by 18 Angry Dems who hated Trump,.... ... ....he would see that it was nevertheless strong on NO COLLUSION and, ultimately, NO OBSTRUCTION...Anyway, how do you Obstruct when there is no crime and, in fact, the crimes were committed by the other side? Justin is a loser who sadly plays right into our opponents hands!Watched some of the Fake News Political Shows this morning and continue to be amazed at how every question is asked in the most negative way. The Mainstream Media should be ashamed of itself - But the good news is that the USA is wise to your game of dishonesty and deception!With the wonderful College, University and other Graduations taking place all over the USA, there has never been a better time than now to graduate. Best jobs market ever, great housing and financing. Go out there, work hard, & have a GREAT life. You deserve it. Congratulations!If Iran wants to fight, that will be the official end of Iran. Never threaten the United States again!Hard to believe that @FoxNews is wasting airtime on Mayor Pete, as Chris Wallace likes to call him. Fox is moving more and more to the losing (wrong) side in covering the Dems. They got dumped from the Democrats boring debates, and they just want in. They forgot the people..... ... ....who got them there. Chris Wallace said, “I actually think, whether you like his opinions or not, that Mayor Pete has a lot of substance...fascinating biography.” Gee, he never speaks well of me - I like Mike Wallace better...and Alfred E. Newman will never be President!I will be interviewed by Steve Hilton tonight at 9:00 P.M. on @FoxNews. Enjoy!A great win for Brooks. Congratulations to a great champion!Starting Monday, our great Farmers can begin doing business again with Mexico and Canada. They have both taken the tariff penalties off of your great agricultural product. Please be sure that you are treated fairly. Any complaints should immediately go to @SecretarySonny Perdue!The Mainstream Media hates to cover this!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:"Leaked Facebook spreadsheet shows employees are targeting conservatives for extra creditLMAO this dude’s sitting right behind home plate forcing ESPN to show his MAGA hat on national tv every pitchR.I.P. karmaThis Based commentator needs to sue @Bernstein and @Buzzfeed for $250 Million.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Welcome to the Clown WorldThe cockroach gets BTFO!Congratulations to our new MAGA graduates who avoided the college NPC trap!!!HAPPENING IN AUSTRALIA!Monday, May 20th:TODAY'S ACTION:Proclamation on National Maritime Day, 2019President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate and Appoint Personnel to Key Administration PostsPresident Trump Signs Executive Order for Asian Americans and Pacific IslandersPresident Trump Delivers Remarks Upon Marine One Departure🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The Failing New York Times (it will pass away when I leave office in 6 years), and others of the Fake News Media, keep writing phony stories about how I didn’t use many banks because they didn’t want to do business with me. WRONG! It is because I didn’t need money. Very old .. continued.. ... continued.. ... continued.. ... continued..Why are the Democrats not looking into all of the crimes committed by Crooked Hillary and the phony Russia Investigation? They would get back their credibility. Jerry Nadler, Schiff, would have a whole new future open to them. Perhaps they could even run for President!Looks like Bernie Sanders is history. Sleepy Joe Biden is pulling ahead and think about it, I’m only here because of Sleepy Joe and the man who took him off the 1% trash heap, President O! China wants Sleepy Joe BADLY!On this Cuban Independence Day, we stand by the people of Cuba in their quest for freedom, democracy and prosperity. The Cuban regime must end its repression of Cubans & Venezuelans. The United States will not stand idly by as Cuba continues to subvert democracy in the Americas!The Fake News put out a typically false statement, without any knowledge that the United States was trying to set up a negotiation with Iran. This is a false report.... ... ....Iran will call us if and when they are ever ready. In the meantime, their economy continues to collapse - very sad for the Iranian people!Beautiful evening for a MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN rally tonight in Pennsylvania. Thank you, I love you! #MAGAMegan King, who is running for Superior Court Judge in the Pennsylvania election, has my Full and Total Endorsement. She is tough on crime and fully understands all aspects of the law. Vote for Megan tomorrow (Tuesday).SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Wow....just wowMy condo complex is full of illegals. Seven less now.Chick-Fil-A line in the ATL airport right now. 10x longer than any other food place#BuildMe - 3rd in line at Montoursville PA rally 👍Doug Collins releases Loretta Lynch, Andrew McCabe interview transcriptsPRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:MAGA Rally Watch Party: President Donald J. Trump in Montoursville, PA 5/20/19🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:WHO does she think she is?Pedes, I hereby formally submit my proposal for the new Trump Monument. MAGA#BuildMe -- The Madman did it!Happy birthday Brick Bot!Tuesday, May 21st:TODAY'S ACTION:Twelve Nominations Sent to the Senate🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:To the great people of Kentucky, please go out and vote for Matt Bevin today. Very important. He has done a fantastic job for you and America! #MAGAI am very disappointed that Mexico is doing virtually nothing to stop illegal immigrants from coming to our Southern Border where everyone knows that because of the Democrats, our Immigration Laws are totally flawed & broken... ... ...Mexico’s attitude is that people from other countries, including Mexico, should have the right to flow into the U.S. & that U.S. taxpayers should be responsible for the tremendous costs associated w/this illegal migration. Mexico is wrong and I will soon be giving a response!Pennsylvania - Don’t forget to get out and VOTE TODAY for Republican Fred Keller for Congress. Fred is Strong on Crime, Second Amendment, Military, Vets, and Healthcare. He has my Complete and Total Endorsement!I am pleased to announce my nomination of Barbara Barrett of Arizona, and former Chairman of the Aerospace Corporation, to be the next Secretary of the Air Force. She will be an outstanding Secretary! #FlyFightWinSo even though I didn’t have to do it with Presidential Privilege, I allowed everyone to testify, including White House Counsel Don McGahn (for over 30 hours), to Robert Mueller and the 18 Angry Trump-Hating Democrats, and they arrived.... ... ....at a conclusion of NO COLLUSION and NO OBSTRUCTION! The Dems were unhappy with the outcome of the $40M Mueller Report, so now they want a do-over.Johnny, we will miss you – you did a great job!Wow, Mark Levin’s new book opened at #1. It is great – keep it there for a long time!Shahira Knight has done a wonderful job as my Legislative Affairs Director at the White House. She was outstanding for us and for our Country - will be a tremendous success in the private sector!After spending 40 Million Dollars, reviewing 1.4 million pages of documents, & interviewing 500 people with the total support of the White House, the Mueller Report was a BIG DISAPPOINTMENT to the Democrats, so they want a DO OVER. It doesn’t work that way-so bad for our Country!The Democrats are on a fishing expedition, wanting to interview the same people, and see the same things, as we just went through for two years with Robert Mueller and the 18 Angry Dems. Never happened to a president before. Never even happened to President Obama!Congratulations to Governor @MattBevin on winning the Republican Primary for Governor tonight in the Great State of KENTUCKY. Matt, you are doing a fantastic job!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Texas Gov. Greg Abbott: Protector of Religious Liberty (and tendies)If this wasn't the funniest headline of the day, nothing was.EXPOSED: DNA testing reveals one third of migrants faked family relationship to claim asylumImagine that. A coffee company who refuses to virtue signal and spew left-wing bullshit. They just want to sell coffee. What a concept. 👌🏻FITTON: MASSIVE Victory: Antifa Activist Ordered By Federal Court to Pay Judicial Watch $22,000 Over Her Frivolous Lawsuit🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Do you notice the pattern?The New SAT ExamPocahontas was great, but THIS is the DNA test we all want to seeNever bring a milk shake to a gun fightWednesday, May 22nd:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Makes RemarksPresident Trump Participates in the Public Safety Officer Medal of Valor Presentation Ceremony🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Everything the Democrats are asking me for is based on an illegally started investigation that failed for them, especially when the Mueller Report came back with a NO COLLUSION finding. Now they say Impeach President Trump, even though he did nothin wrong, while they “fish!”After two years of an expensive and comprehensive Witch Hunt, the Democrats don’t like the result and they want a DO OVER. In other words, the Witch Hunt continues!The Democrats are getting ZERO work done in Congress. All they are focused on is trying to prove the Mueller Report wrong, the Witch Hunt!PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT!Without the ILLEGAL Witch Hunt, my poll numbers, especially because of our historically “great” economy, would be at 65%. Too bad! The greatest Hoax in American History.Everybody, including me, thought that when the 40 Million Dollar Mueller Report was released with No Collusion and No Obstruction (of a crime caused by others), that was the end. But no, the Democrats want to keep it going in an effort to help them in 2020. Bad for the Country!“The Democrats are in danger of becoming irrelevant because of their decision to keep taking the country on wild goose chases. They ought to start governing. You know, for a change.” Michael Goodwin @newyorkpostAs I have long been saying, and has now been proven out, this is a Witch Hunt against the Republican Party and myself, and it was the other side that caused the problem, not us!(Video)So sad that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer will never be able to see or understand the great promise of our Country. They can continue the Witch Hunt which has already cost $40M and been a tremendous waste of time and energy for everyone in America, or get back to work.... ... ....But they really want a do-over! You can’t investigate and legislate simultaneously - it just doesn’t work that way. You can’t go down two tracks at the same time. Let Chuck, Nancy, Jerry, Adam and all of the rest finish playing their games.... ... ....In the meantime, my Administration is achieving things that have never been done before, including unleashing perhaps the Greatest Economy in our Country’s history.... ... ....Democrat leadership is tearing the United States apart, but I will continue to set records for the American People – and Nancy, thank you so much for your prayers, I know you truly mean it!I want to welcome you all to the @WhiteHouse as we award our very bravest law enforcement officers and firefighters our nation’s highest public safety award – The Medal of Valor...In a letter to her House colleagues, Nancy Pelosi said: “President Trump had a temper tantrum for us all to see.” This is not true. I was purposely very polite and calm, much as I was minutes later with the press in the Rose Garden. Can be easily proven. It is all such a lie!Zero is getting done with the Democrats in charge of the House. All they want to do is put the Mueller Report behind them and start all over again. No Do-Overs!Democrats don’t want to fix the loopholes at the Border. They don’t want to do anything. Open Borders and crime!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Out in the Rose GardenBREAKING: Federal Prosecutors Charge Michael Avenatti With Defrauding Porn Star Stormy DanielsHey Burger KingCohen Admitted It Was ‘Plausible’ That Trump Wasn’t Telling Him To Lie To Congress...(YA THINK so, Mikey?)Cohen is a joke!!🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Clown World Rule Of LawGot asked to Sadie’s today (girls ask guys to a dance) and I couldn’t say no to a poster like thisRedPillDiePieDr Ben Carson HUD, brings the spice to Ilhan Omar via twitter1950's model OR 2019 model ??Thursday, May 23rd:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Delivers Remarks on Supporting America’s Farmers and RanchersMemorandum on Enforcing the Legal Responsibilities of Sponsors of AliensSix Nominations and One Withdrawal Sent to the SenateMemorandum on Agency Cooperation with Attorney General’s Review of Intelligence Activities Relating to the 2016 Presidential Campaigns🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The Democrats have become known as THE DO NOTHING PARTY!Rex Tillerson, a man who is “dumb as a rock” and totally ill prepared and ill equipped to be Secretary of State, made up a story (he got fired) that I was out-prepared by Vladimir Putin at a meeting in Hamburg, Germany. I don’t think Putin would agree. Look how the U.S. is doing!I was extremely calm yesterday with my meeting with Pelosi and Schumer, knowing that they would say I was raging, which they always do, along with their partner, the Fake News Media. Well, so many stories about the meeting use the Rage narrative anyway - Fake & Corrupt Press!When the Democrats in Congress refinish, for the 5th time, their Fake work on their very disappointing Mueller Report finding, they will have the time to get the REAL work of the people done. Move quickly!Our hearts go out to the people of Missouri as they woke up to assess the damage from storms. You are strong and resilient, and we are here to assist..@NWS and @USACEHQ are monitoring the damaging storms and flooding in Oklahoma. Listen to the warnings of your local officials and stay safe. We are with you!Congratulations to Prime Minister @NarendraModi and his BJP party on their BIG election victory! Great things are in store for the US-India partnership with the return of PM Modi at the helm. I look forward to continuing our important work together!We will never forget our fallen HEROES. It was our great honor to be with you today! #FlagsInThe U.S. Senate has just approved a 19 Billion Dollar Disaster Relief Bill, with my total approval. Great!“Today, at the request and recommendation of the Attorney General of the United States, President Donald J. Trump directed the intelligence community to quickly and fully cooperate with the Attorney General’s investigation into surveillance activities.... ... ....during the 2016 Presidential election. The Attorney General has also been delegated full and complete authority to declassify information pertaining to this investigation, in accordance with the long-established standards for handling classified information.... ... ....Today’s action will help ensure that all Americans learn the truth about the events that occurred, and the actions that were taken, during the last Presidential election and will restore confidence in our public institutions.” @PressSec“Nancy Pelosi should not be out there doing the kinds of things she is doing. She will diminish herself and her membership. She cannot put a subject with a predicate in the same sentence. What’s going on?” Ed Rollins @GreggJarrett @LouDobbs“PELOSI STAMMERS THROUGH NEWS CONFERENCE”71% of Voters rate the Economy as Excellent or Good. The highest number in more than 18 years! @QuinnipiacPollWow! CNN Ratings are WAY DOWN, record lows. People are getting tired of so many Fake Stories and Anti-Trump lies. Chris Cuomo was rewarded for lowest morning ratings with a prime time spot - which is failing badly and not helping the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon!When is Twitter going to allow the very popular Conservative Voices that it has so viciously shut down, back into the OPEN? IT IS TIME!“Intelligence Agencies were used against an American President.” @DevinNunes @ShannonBream @FoxNews This should NEVER happen to a President again! Dems are furious at Robert Mueller for his findings - NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. Now they should go back to work and legislate!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Sarah Huckababe Sanders: “You can’t literally have a meeting like Nancy Pelosi did yesterday an hour before she got to the White House where she accused the president of a crime, said he had engaged in a cover-up, and then show up like nothing has happened. It just doesn’t work that way.”WATCH: Donald Trump Jr. slams Burr over his Senate subpoenaTrump signing memorandum requiring immigrant sponsors to pay for social services | Fox NewsPresident Trump: "I am an extremely stable genius."BOOM! - Process Started - President Trump Issues Authorization Memorandum for Declassification...🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:It's like you want the Brexit party to win, Remainers.Justin Amash in a nutshell.It's May 23rd. International Turtle Day! Shout out to Cocaine Mitch! Keep America Great!!!Space Force Mission- Stop The Black Hole Of Pelosi ben Garrison cartoonNancy Pelosi Has A Hardware Malfunction On Live TelevisionFriday, May 24th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon DepartureMemorandum on Delegation of Functions and Authorities under the Sanctioning the Use of Civilians as Defenseless Shields ActMemorandum on Delegation of Function under the Hizballah International Financing Prevention Act of 2015, as AmendedMemorandum on Delegation of Functions and Authorities under the Nicaragua Human Rights and Anticorruption Act of 2018Memorandum on Revisions to the 2017 Unified Command PlanPresident Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate Individual to a Key Administration Post🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:“If they try to Impeach President Trump, who has done nothing wrong (No Collusion), they will end up getting him re-elected” @LindseyGrahamSC Impeachment is for High Crimes and Misdemeanors. There were no High Crimes and Misdemeanors, except for those committed by the other side!I don’t know why the Radical Left Democrats want Bob Mueller to testify when he just issued a 40 Million Dollar Report that states, loud & clear & for all to hear, No Collusion and No Obstruction (how do you Obstruct a NO crime?) Dems are just looking for trouble and a Do-Over!Congratulations to Tom Cotton - his book, “Sacred Duty: A Solider’s Tour at Arlington National Cemetery” just hit the best sellers list. I was at @ArlingtonNatl yesterday & the people there were so grateful for Tom’s inspiring portrait of “The Old Guard.” Great job @TomCottonAR!Just spoke to Prime Minister @NarendraModi where I congratulated him on his big political victory. He is a great man and leader for the people of India - they are lucky to have him!Departed the @WhiteHouse and am now on Air Force One with the First Lady heading to Japan and looking forward to honoring, on behalf of the United States, His Majesty, the Emperor of Japan. I will also be discussing Trade and Military with my friend, Prime Minister @AbeShinzo.(Image)Mitch McConnell and our Republican Senators have been very solid and strong. We have accomplished a great deal together, in particular with our Courts, 107 Federal Judges.... ... .....The Dems want a second shot at Bob Mueller, are very unhappy with the No Collusion Report. They should not be allowed to play this game any longer - no second chances - must get back to work. So bad for our Country!In Alaska with our GREAT TROOPS, departing shortly for Japan!The real trade war began 30 years ago, and we lost. This is a bright new Age, the Age of Enlightenment. We don’t lose anymore!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Teresa May resignsPresident Trump Takes On Pelosi, Iran, and "Witch Hunt"Memorial Day Weekend MAGA sale at the Trump Campaign website! 25% off all weekend! All the cool kids drink out of Trump Pint Glasses, ya know.This post didn't age well. Poor Shiffty. I think the walls may be closing in.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Britain reacts to Theresa May's resignationMelania Trump is Simply Irresistable!!I was at that meetin' with GEOTUS, He told me keep on sowin my seeds pedes, we're about to see the biggest crop ever.Bye, Theresa!Saturday, May 25th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Attends a Reception with Japanese Business LeadersVice President Pence Delivers the Commencement Address at the United States Military Academy🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Democrat Senator Mark Warner is acting and talking like he is in total control of the Senate Intelligence Committee. Their is nothing bipartisan about him. He should not be allowed to take “command” of that Committee. Too important! Remember when he spoke to the Russian jokester?Another activist Obama appointed judge has just ruled against us on a section of the Southern Wall that is already under construction. This is a ruling against Border Security and in favor of crime, drugs and human trafficking. We are asking for an expedited appeal!Thank you John, so nice!In addition to great incompetence and corruption, The Smollett case in Chicago is also about a Hate Crime. Remember, “MAGA COUNTRY DID IT!” That turned out to be a total lie, had nothing to do with “MAGA COUNTRY.” Serious stuff, and not even an apology to millions of people!Going to play golf right now with @AbeShinzo. Japan loves the game. Tremendous fans of @JackNicklaus, @TigerWoods, and @PhilMickelson — I said what about @GaryPlayer, they said we love Gary too!North Korea fired off some small weapons, which disturbed some of my people, and others, but not me. I have confidence that Chairman Kim will keep his promise to me, & also smiled when he called Swampman Joe Biden a low IQ individual, & worse. Perhaps that’s sending me a signal?Great morning of golf with Prime Minister @AbeShinzo at Mobara Country Club in Chiba, Japan!Great fun and meeting with Prime Minister @AbeShinzo. Numerous Japanese officials told me that the Democrats would rather see the United States fail than see me or the Republican Party succeed - Death Wish!Great progress being made in our Trade Negotiations with Japan. Agriculture and beef heavily in play. Much will wait until after their July elections where I anticipate big numbers!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Happy Belated Birthday (May 23), Mr. Attorney General!President Trump arrives in Japan, kicking off 4-day state visit with trade talks at its centerANOTHER “DOCTORED” VIDEO OF PELOSI. EITHER SHE IS DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND OR SHE HAS SOME SERIOUS NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMAs promised, Donald Trump is teaching the Republican party how to win!🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:When a bunch of your interagency colleagues (CIA, FBI, Department of State) got caught trying to overthrow a duly elected President (the boss) and you had nothing to do with it.Here's what really happened with Jerry NadlerThe End of the Deep State | It's happening folks.DONKTUM: Restricting the Range of Consciousness.WEW LAD, SO MUCH WINNING!Some tunes to help you go through all this winning:Summer DaysFACEWonderland6’s to 9’sSunflowerMAGA ON PATRIOTS! #robgray

#robgray

0 notes

wetrumpfeed · 5 years

Text

Afternoon MAGAthread: YOUR WEEKLY PRESIDENTIAL RECAP!

HAPPY SATURDAY SUNDAY GUNDAY PATRIOTS!

This is u/Ivaginaryfriend here and although I'm a day late (Complicated Business folks) I'm back with all things dank and spicy from the past week! If you happened to miss any past recaps you can catch those here!

Sunday, May 19th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Proclamation on Adjusting Imports of Aluminum into the United States

Proclamation on Adjusting Imports of Steel into the United States

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

For all of the Fake News Sunday Political Shows, whose bias & dishonesty is greater than ever seen in our Country before, please inform your viewers that our Economy is setting records, with more people employed today than at any time in U.S. history, our Military, which.... ... ....was a depleted disaster, will soon be stronger than ever before, our Vets are finally being taken care of and now have Choice, our Courts will have 145 great new Judges, and 2 Supreme Court Justices, got rid of the disastrous Individual Mandate & will protect Pre-Existing.... ... ....Conditions, drug prices down for first time in 51 years (& soon will drop much further), Right to Try, protecting your 2nd Amendment, big Tax & Reg Cuts, 3.2 GDP, Strong Foreign Policy, & much much more that nobody else would have been able to do. Our Country is doing GREAT!

Never a fan of @justinamash, a total lightweight who opposes me and some of our great Republican ideas and policies just for the sake of getting his name out there through controversy. If he actually read the biased Mueller Report, “composed” by 18 Angry Dems who hated Trump,.... ... ....he would see that it was nevertheless strong on NO COLLUSION and, ultimately, NO OBSTRUCTION...Anyway, how do you Obstruct when there is no crime and, in fact, the crimes were committed by the other side? Justin is a loser who sadly plays right into our opponents hands!

Watched some of the Fake News Political Shows this morning and continue to be amazed at how every question is asked in the most negative way. The Mainstream Media should be ashamed of itself - But the good news is that the USA is wise to your game of dishonesty and deception!

With the wonderful College, University and other Graduations taking place all over the USA, there has never been a better time than now to graduate. Best jobs market ever, great housing and financing. Go out there, work hard, & have a GREAT life. You deserve it. Congratulations!

If Iran wants to fight, that will be the official end of Iran. Never threaten the United States again!

Hard to believe that @FoxNews is wasting airtime on Mayor Pete, as Chris Wallace likes to call him. Fox is moving more and more to the losing (wrong) side in covering the Dems. They got dumped from the Democrats boring debates, and they just want in. They forgot the people..... ... ....who got them there. Chris Wallace said, “I actually think, whether you like his opinions or not, that Mayor Pete has a lot of substance...fascinating biography.” Gee, he never speaks well of me - I like Mike Wallace better...and Alfred E. Newman will never be President!

I will be interviewed by Steve Hilton tonight at 9:00 P.M. on @FoxNews. Enjoy!

A great win for Brooks. Congratulations to a great champion!

Starting Monday, our great Farmers can begin doing business again with Mexico and Canada. They have both taken the tariff penalties off of your great agricultural product. Please be sure that you are treated fairly. Any complaints should immediately go to @SecretarySonny Perdue!

The Mainstream Media hates to cover this!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

"Leaked Facebook spreadsheet shows employees are targeting conservatives for extra credit

LMAO this dude’s sitting right behind home plate forcing ESPN to show his MAGA hat on national tv every pitch

R.I.P. karma

This Based commentator needs to sue @Bernstein and @Buzzfeed for $250 Million.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Welcome to the Clown World

The cockroach gets BTFO!

Congratulations to our new MAGA graduates who avoided the college NPC trap!!!

HAPPENING IN AUSTRALIA!

Monday, May 20th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Proclamation on National Maritime Day, 2019

President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate and Appoint Personnel to Key Administration Posts

President Trump Signs Executive Order for Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders

President Trump Delivers Remarks Upon Marine One Departure

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

The Failing New York Times (it will pass away when I leave office in 6 years), and others of the Fake News Media, keep writing phony stories about how I didn’t use many banks because they didn’t want to do business with me. WRONG! It is because I didn’t need money. Very old .. continued.. ... continued.. ... continued.. ... continued..

Why are the Democrats not looking into all of the crimes committed by Crooked Hillary and the phony Russia Investigation? They would get back their credibility. Jerry Nadler, Schiff, would have a whole new future open to them. Perhaps they could even run for President!

Looks like Bernie Sanders is history. Sleepy Joe Biden is pulling ahead and think about it, I’m only here because of Sleepy Joe and the man who took him off the 1% trash heap, President O! China wants Sleepy Joe BADLY!

On this Cuban Independence Day, we stand by the people of Cuba in their quest for freedom, democracy and prosperity. The Cuban regime must end its repression of Cubans & Venezuelans. The United States will not stand idly by as Cuba continues to subvert democracy in the Americas!

The Fake News put out a typically false statement, without any knowledge that the United States was trying to set up a negotiation with Iran. This is a false report.... ... ....Iran will call us if and when they are ever ready. In the meantime, their economy continues to collapse - very sad for the Iranian people!

Beautiful evening for a MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN rally tonight in Pennsylvania. Thank you, I love you! #MAGA

Megan King, who is running for Superior Court Judge in the Pennsylvania election, has my Full and Total Endorsement. She is tough on crime and fully understands all aspects of the law. Vote for Megan tomorrow (Tuesday).

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Wow....just wow

My condo complex is full of illegals. Seven less now.

Chick-Fil-A line in the ATL airport right now. 10x longer than any other food place

#BuildMe - 3rd in line at Montoursville PA rally 👍

Doug Collins releases Loretta Lynch, Andrew McCabe interview transcripts

PRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:

MAGA Rally Watch Party: President Donald J. Trump in Montoursville, PA 5/20/19

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

WHO does she think she is?

Pedes, I hereby formally submit my proposal for the new Trump Monument. MAGA

#BuildMe -- The Madman did it!

Happy birthday Brick Bot!

Tuesday, May 21st:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Twelve Nominations Sent to the Senate

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

To the great people of Kentucky, please go out and vote for Matt Bevin today. Very important. He has done a fantastic job for you and America! #MAGA

I am very disappointed that Mexico is doing virtually nothing to stop illegal immigrants from coming to our Southern Border where everyone knows that because of the Democrats, our Immigration Laws are totally flawed & broken... ... ...Mexico’s attitude is that people from other countries, including Mexico, should have the right to flow into the U.S. & that U.S. taxpayers should be responsible for the tremendous costs associated w/this illegal migration. Mexico is wrong and I will soon be giving a response!

Pennsylvania - Don’t forget to get out and VOTE TODAY for Republican Fred Keller for Congress. Fred is Strong on Crime, Second Amendment, Military, Vets, and Healthcare. He has my Complete and Total Endorsement!

I am pleased to announce my nomination of Barbara Barrett of Arizona, and former Chairman of the Aerospace Corporation, to be the next Secretary of the Air Force. She will be an outstanding Secretary! #FlyFightWin

So even though I didn’t have to do it with Presidential Privilege, I allowed everyone to testify, including White House Counsel Don McGahn (for over 30 hours), to Robert Mueller and the 18 Angry Trump-Hating Democrats, and they arrived.... ... ....at a conclusion of NO COLLUSION and NO OBSTRUCTION! The Dems were unhappy with the outcome of the $40M Mueller Report, so now they want a do-over.

Johnny, we will miss you – you did a great job!

Wow, Mark Levin’s new book opened at #1. It is great – keep it there for a long time!

Shahira Knight has done a wonderful job as my Legislative Affairs Director at the White House. She was outstanding for us and for our Country - will be a tremendous success in the private sector!

After spending 40 Million Dollars, reviewing 1.4 million pages of documents, & interviewing 500 people with the total support of the White House, the Mueller Report was a BIG DISAPPOINTMENT to the Democrats, so they want a DO OVER. It doesn’t work that way-so bad for our Country!

The Democrats are on a fishing expedition, wanting to interview the same people, and see the same things, as we just went through for two years with Robert Mueller and the 18 Angry Dems. Never happened to a president before. Never even happened to President Obama!

Congratulations to Governor @MattBevin on winning the Republican Primary for Governor tonight in the Great State of KENTUCKY. Matt, you are doing a fantastic job!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott: Protector of Religious Liberty (and tendies)

If this wasn't the funniest headline of the day, nothing was.

EXPOSED: DNA testing reveals one third of migrants faked family relationship to claim asylum

Imagine that. A coffee company who refuses to virtue signal and spew left-wing bullshit. They just want to sell coffee. What a concept. 👌🏻

FITTON: MASSIVE Victory: Antifa Activist Ordered By Federal Court to Pay Judicial Watch $22,000 Over Her Frivolous Lawsuit

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Do you notice the pattern?

The New SAT Exam

Pocahontas was great, but THIS is the DNA test we all want to see

Never bring a milk shake to a gun fight

Wednesday, May 22nd:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Makes Remarks

President Trump Participates in the Public Safety Officer Medal of Valor Presentation Ceremony

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Everything the Democrats are asking me for is based on an illegally started investigation that failed for them, especially when the Mueller Report came back with a NO COLLUSION finding. Now they say Impeach President Trump, even though he did nothin wrong, while they “fish!”

After two years of an expensive and comprehensive Witch Hunt, the Democrats don’t like the result and they want a DO OVER. In other words, the Witch Hunt continues!

The Democrats are getting ZERO work done in Congress. All they are focused on is trying to prove the Mueller Report wrong, the Witch Hunt!

PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT!

Without the ILLEGAL Witch Hunt, my poll numbers, especially because of our historically “great” economy, would be at 65%. Too bad! The greatest Hoax in American History.

Everybody, including me, thought that when the 40 Million Dollar Mueller Report was released with No Collusion and No Obstruction (of a crime caused by others), that was the end. But no, the Democrats want to keep it going in an effort to help them in 2020. Bad for the Country!

“The Democrats are in danger of becoming irrelevant because of their decision to keep taking the country on wild goose chases. They ought to start governing. You know, for a change.” Michael Goodwin @newyorkpost

As I have long been saying, and has now been proven out, this is a Witch Hunt against the Republican Party and myself, and it was the other side that caused the problem, not us!

(Video)

So sad that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer will never be able to see or understand the great promise of our Country. They can continue the Witch Hunt which has already cost $40M and been a tremendous waste of time and energy for everyone in America, or get back to work.... ... ....But they really want a do-over! You can’t investigate and legislate simultaneously - it just doesn’t work that way. You can’t go down two tracks at the same time. Let Chuck, Nancy, Jerry, Adam and all of the rest finish playing their games.... ... ....In the meantime, my Administration is achieving things that have never been done before, including unleashing perhaps the Greatest Economy in our Country’s history.... ... ....Democrat leadership is tearing the United States apart, but I will continue to set records for the American People – and Nancy, thank you so much for your prayers, I know you truly mean it!

I want to welcome you all to the @WhiteHouse as we award our very bravest law enforcement officers and firefighters our nation’s highest public safety award – The Medal of Valor...

In a letter to her House colleagues, Nancy Pelosi said: “President Trump had a temper tantrum for us all to see.” This is not true. I was purposely very polite and calm, much as I was minutes later with the press in the Rose Garden. Can be easily proven. It is all such a lie!

Zero is getting done with the Democrats in charge of the House. All they want to do is put the Mueller Report behind them and start all over again. No Do-Overs!

Democrats don’t want to fix the loopholes at the Border. They don’t want to do anything. Open Borders and crime!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Out in the Rose Garden

BREAKING: Federal Prosecutors Charge Michael Avenatti With Defrauding Porn Star Stormy Daniels

Hey Burger King

Cohen Admitted It Was ‘Plausible’ That Trump Wasn’t Telling Him To Lie To Congress...(YA THINK so, Mikey?)Cohen is a joke!!

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Clown World Rule Of Law

Got asked to Sadie’s today (girls ask guys to a dance) and I couldn’t say no to a poster like this

RedPillDiePie

Dr Ben Carson HUD, brings the spice to Ilhan Omar via twitter

1950's model OR 2019 model ??

Thursday, May 23rd:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Delivers Remarks on Supporting America’s Farmers and Ranchers

Memorandum on Enforcing the Legal Responsibilities of Sponsors of Aliens

Six Nominations and One Withdrawal Sent to the Senate

Memorandum on Agency Cooperation with Attorney General’s Review of Intelligence Activities Relating to the 2016 Presidential Campaigns

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

The Democrats have become known as THE DO NOTHING PARTY!

Rex Tillerson, a man who is “dumb as a rock” and totally ill prepared and ill equipped to be Secretary of State, made up a story (he got fired) that I was out-prepared by Vladimir Putin at a meeting in Hamburg, Germany. I don’t think Putin would agree. Look how the U.S. is doing!

I was extremely calm yesterday with my meeting with Pelosi and Schumer, knowing that they would say I was raging, which they always do, along with their partner, the Fake News Media. Well, so many stories about the meeting use the Rage narrative anyway - Fake & Corrupt Press!

When the Democrats in Congress refinish, for the 5th time, their Fake work on their very disappointing Mueller Report finding, they will have the time to get the REAL work of the people done. Move quickly!

Our hearts go out to the people of Missouri as they woke up to assess the damage from storms. You are strong and resilient, and we are here to assist.

.@NWS and @USACEHQ are monitoring the damaging storms and flooding in Oklahoma. Listen to the warnings of your local officials and stay safe. We are with you!

Congratulations to Prime Minister @NarendraModi and his BJP party on their BIG election victory! Great things are in store for the US-India partnership with the return of PM Modi at the helm. I look forward to continuing our important work together!

We will never forget our fallen HEROES. It was our great honor to be with you today! #FlagsIn

The U.S. Senate has just approved a 19 Billion Dollar Disaster Relief Bill, with my total approval. Great!

“Today, at the request and recommendation of the Attorney General of the United States, President Donald J. Trump directed the intelligence community to quickly and fully cooperate with the Attorney General’s investigation into surveillance activities.... ... ....during the 2016 Presidential election. The Attorney General has also been delegated full and complete authority to declassify information pertaining to this investigation, in accordance with the long-established standards for handling classified information.... ... ....Today’s action will help ensure that all Americans learn the truth about the events that occurred, and the actions that were taken, during the last Presidential election and will restore confidence in our public institutions.” @PressSec

“Nancy Pelosi should not be out there doing the kinds of things she is doing. She will diminish herself and her membership. She cannot put a subject with a predicate in the same sentence. What’s going on?” Ed Rollins @GreggJarrett @LouDobbs

“PELOSI STAMMERS THROUGH NEWS CONFERENCE”

71% of Voters rate the Economy as Excellent or Good. The highest number in more than 18 years! @QuinnipiacPoll

Wow! CNN Ratings are WAY DOWN, record lows. People are getting tired of so many Fake Stories and Anti-Trump lies. Chris Cuomo was rewarded for lowest morning ratings with a prime time spot - which is failing badly and not helping the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon!

When is Twitter going to allow the very popular Conservative Voices that it has so viciously shut down, back into the OPEN? IT IS TIME!

“Intelligence Agencies were used against an American President.” @DevinNunes @ShannonBream @FoxNews This should NEVER happen to a President again! Dems are furious at Robert Mueller for his findings - NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION. Now they should go back to work and legislate!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Sarah Huckababe Sanders: “You can’t literally have a meeting like Nancy Pelosi did yesterday an hour before she got to the White House where she accused the president of a crime, said he had engaged in a cover-up, and then show up like nothing has happened. It just doesn’t work that way.”

WATCH: Donald Trump Jr. slams Burr over his Senate subpoena

Trump signing memorandum requiring immigrant sponsors to pay for social services | Fox News

President Trump: "I am an extremely stable genius."

BOOM! - Process Started - President Trump Issues Authorization Memorandum for Declassification...

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

It's like you want the Brexit party to win, Remainers.

Justin Amash in a nutshell.

It's May 23rd. International Turtle Day! Shout out to Cocaine Mitch! Keep America Great!!!

Space Force Mission- Stop The Black Hole Of Pelosi ben Garrison cartoon

Nancy Pelosi Has A Hardware Malfunction On Live Television

Friday, May 24th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon Departure

Memorandum on Delegation of Functions and Authorities under the Sanctioning the Use of Civilians as Defenseless Shields Act

Memorandum on Delegation of Function under the Hizballah International Financing Prevention Act of 2015, as Amended

Memorandum on Delegation of Functions and Authorities under the Nicaragua Human Rights and Anticorruption Act of 2018

Memorandum on Revisions to the 2017 Unified Command Plan

President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate Individual to a Key Administration Post

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

“If they try to Impeach President Trump, who has done nothing wrong (No Collusion), they will end up getting him re-elected” @LindseyGrahamSC Impeachment is for High Crimes and Misdemeanors. There were no High Crimes and Misdemeanors, except for those committed by the other side!

I don’t know why the Radical Left Democrats want Bob Mueller to testify when he just issued a 40 Million Dollar Report that states, loud & clear & for all to hear, No Collusion and No Obstruction (how do you Obstruct a NO crime?) Dems are just looking for trouble and a Do-Over!

Congratulations to Tom Cotton - his book, “Sacred Duty: A Solider’s Tour at Arlington National Cemetery” just hit the best sellers list. I was at @ArlingtonNatl yesterday & the people there were so grateful for Tom’s inspiring portrait of “The Old Guard.” Great job @TomCottonAR!

Just spoke to Prime Minister @NarendraModi where I congratulated him on his big political victory. He is a great man and leader for the people of India - they are lucky to have him!

Departed the @WhiteHouse and am now on Air Force One with the First Lady heading to Japan and looking forward to honoring, on behalf of the United States, His Majesty, the Emperor of Japan. I will also be discussing Trade and Military with my friend, Prime Minister @AbeShinzo.

(Image)

Mitch McConnell and our Republican Senators have been very solid and strong. We have accomplished a great deal together, in particular with our Courts, 107 Federal Judges.... ... .....The Dems want a second shot at Bob Mueller, are very unhappy with the No Collusion Report. They should not be allowed to play this game any longer - no second chances - must get back to work. So bad for our Country!

In Alaska with our GREAT TROOPS, departing shortly for Japan!

The real trade war began 30 years ago, and we lost. This is a bright new Age, the Age of Enlightenment. We don’t lose anymore!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Teresa May resigns

President Trump Takes On Pelosi, Iran, and "Witch Hunt"

Memorial Day Weekend MAGA sale at the Trump Campaign website! 25% off all weekend! All the cool kids drink out of Trump Pint Glasses, ya know.

This post didn't age well. Poor Shiffty. I think the walls may be closing in.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Britain reacts to Theresa May's resignation

Melania Trump is Simply Irresistable!!

I was at that meetin' with GEOTUS, He told me keep on sowin my seeds pedes, we're about to see the biggest crop ever.

Bye, Theresa!

Saturday, May 25th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Attends a Reception with Japanese Business Leaders

Vice President Pence Delivers the Commencement Address at the United States Military Academy

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Democrat Senator Mark Warner is acting and talking like he is in total control of the Senate Intelligence Committee. Their is nothing bipartisan about him. He should not be allowed to take “command” of that Committee. Too important! Remember when he spoke to the Russian jokester?

Another activist Obama appointed judge has just ruled against us on a section of the Southern Wall that is already under construction. This is a ruling against Border Security and in favor of crime, drugs and human trafficking. We are asking for an expedited appeal!

Thank you John, so nice!

In addition to great incompetence and corruption, The Smollett case in Chicago is also about a Hate Crime. Remember, “MAGA COUNTRY DID IT!” That turned out to be a total lie, had nothing to do with “MAGA COUNTRY.” Serious stuff, and not even an apology to millions of people!

Going to play golf right now with @AbeShinzo. Japan loves the game. Tremendous fans of @JackNicklaus, @TigerWoods, and @PhilMickelson — I said what about @GaryPlayer, they said we love Gary too!

North Korea fired off some small weapons, which disturbed some of my people, and others, but not me. I have confidence that Chairman Kim will keep his promise to me, & also smiled when he called Swampman Joe Biden a low IQ individual, & worse. Perhaps that’s sending me a signal?

Great morning of golf with Prime Minister @AbeShinzo at Mobara Country Club in Chiba, Japan!

Great fun and meeting with Prime Minister @AbeShinzo. Numerous Japanese officials told me that the Democrats would rather see the United States fail than see me or the Republican Party succeed - Death Wish!

Great progress being made in our Trade Negotiations with Japan. Agriculture and beef heavily in play. Much will wait until after their July elections where I anticipate big numbers!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Happy Belated Birthday (May 23), Mr. Attorney General!

President Trump arrives in Japan, kicking off 4-day state visit with trade talks at its center

ANOTHER “DOCTORED” VIDEO OF PELOSI. EITHER SHE IS DRUNK OUT OF HER MIND OR SHE HAS SOME SERIOUS NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEM

As promised, Donald Trump is teaching the Republican party how to win!

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

When a bunch of your interagency colleagues (CIA, FBI, Department of State) got caught trying to overthrow a duly elected President (the boss) and you had nothing to do with it.

Here's what really happened with Jerry Nadler

The End of the Deep State | It's happening folks.

DONKTUM: Restricting the Range of Consciousness.

WEW LAD, SO MUCH WINNING!

Some tunes to help you go through all this winning:

Summer Days

FACE

Wonderland

6’s to 9’s

Sunflower

MAGA ON PATRIOTS!

submitted by /u/Ivaginaryfriend [link] [comments]

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bestmovies0 · 6 years

Text

Inside the Alexa Prize

The first interactor–a muscular man in his fifties with a shaved brain and a black V-neck sweater–walks into a conference room and sits in a low-slung blue armchair before a phalanx of video cameras and studio suns. He’s brightly lighted. The rest of the chamber is altogether dark. He gazes at a black, hockey-puck-shaped object–an Amazon Echo–on a small table in front of him. “Alexa, ” he says, “let’s chat.”

“Good morning, my friend, ” a female voice replies with synthetic agreeability, a purplish echo of light pulsing atop the Echo. “Or is it afternoon? I’m not quite sure.”

“It’s morning, ” the man replies.

“Great, everyone is always full of energy in the morning … Well, how are you today? ”

“I’m great, how are you? ”

“Well, I’m always busy, as people continue chatting with me … But listen, this is just hilarious, it’s a recent post on Reddit:’ Toothpaste is just mouth soap.’ ”

Down the hall in another conference room, 10 Amazon employees sit at long tables wearing headphones, monitoring these pleasantries with the focus of CIA spies. In yet another room, three humen sit in booths cordoned off by black curtains. They, too, wear headphones and have cameras taught on them. Ultimately, in a control center, members of a video crew monitor all the feeds on a large, tiled screen. Everything must be recorded, because Amazon wants to understand perfectly everything about what’s transpiring today.

This extravagantly staged running, which took place last November, is the final judging conference in a months-long rival. Amazon has challenged 15 squads of some of the world’s best computer science grad student to construct “a socialbot that they are able converse coherently and engagingly with humen on popular topics for 20 minutes.” If any squad succeeds, its members will snare academic glory and the promise of brilliant future jobs.( Deem that some of the most impressive alums of the Darpa Grand Challenges, an early placed of autonomous vehicle competitions, went on to run the self-driving car divides of Google, Ford, Uber, and General Motor .) They will likewise walk away with a$ 1 million purse–which Amazon has called the Alexa Prize.

Amazon, in case you haven’t noticed, has expended the past few years seeking voice AI with a voraciousness rivaling that of its conquest of retail. The corporation has more than 5,000 people working on the Alexa platform. And since just 2015, it has reportedly sold more than 20 million Echoes. One period, Amazon believes, AIs will do much more than simply control sunlights and playlists. They will drive cars, diagnose diseases, and imbue every niche of our lives. Voice will be the predominant interface, and conversation itself–helpful, informative, companionable, entertaining–will be the ultimate product.

AI Glossary

Chatbot:

A computer program designed to converse with humans.

Socialbot:

An specially schmoozy chatbot–one that can engage in extended small talk , not just cue up music and take down grocery lists.

Handcrafting:

A labor-intensive technique for programming chatbots that involves writing explicit the regulation and templates.

Machine learning:

A type of AI that learns to perform a undertaking by analysing patterns in data, rather than by relying on rules written by people.

Seq2seq:

A machine learning technique used to generate a plausible next convict in a dialog given the previous sequence of words.

But all this early success and ambition has plunged Amazon off a cliff, and into a wide and treacherous hollow. Today Alexa, like all voice helpers, often fails to comprehend the blindingly obvious. The platform’s rapid, widespread adoption has also whetted consumer stomaches for something that no voice aide can currently deliver. Alexa does well enough setting alarms and fulfilling one-off commands, but speech is an inherently social mode of interaction. “People are expecting Alexa to talk to them just like a pal, ” says Ashwin Ram, who leads Alexa’s AI research team. Taking part in human conversation–with all its infinite variability, abrupt changes in context, and flashes of connection–is widely recognized as one of the more difficult troubles in AI, and Amazon has accused into it headlong.

The Alexa Prize is hardly the first race that has tried to wring more humanlike rapport out of the world’s chatbots. Every time for the better part of three decades, a smattering of computer scientists and hobbyists has gathered to compete for something called the Loebner Prize, in which contestants try to trick magistrates into believing a chatbot is human. That prize has inspired the market share of controversy over the years–some AI researchers call it a advertising stunt–along with plenty of wistful, poetic ruminations on what subdivides humen from machines. But the Alexa Prize is different in a couple of ways. First, the point isn’t to clown anyone that Alexa is a person. Second, the scale of assessments of the competition–the sheer human, fiscal, and computational firepower behind it–is massive. For just a few months of 2017, during an early phase of the race, anyone in the US who said “Alexa, let’s chat” to their Amazon voice device was able to converse with a randomly selected race bot; they were then invited to rate the conversation they’d had from one to five suns. The bots had millions of rated interactions, making the Alexa Prize competition, under the orders of intensity, the largest chatbot showdown the world has ever seen.

That showdown culminated last November in a chamber with a blue armchair and a bunch of lights.

The interactor–the guy with the shaved psyche and the black sweater–is named Mike George. Until his retirement from Amazon last July, he supervised the Alexa platform. The boys in the booths, meanwhile, are magistrates who rate each dialogue from one to five suns. If a judge is of the view that a dialogue has gone off the rails, he can press a button on a handheld rod; if two seconds judge does so, the conversation and the session timer are halted. Nobody knows which bot is which. Not the interactors , not the judges.

“Let’s talk about music, ” George says.

“I love music; it helps me relax every time, ” the bot answers. “So, do you have any favorite artist or song? ”

“I like Django Reinhardt.”

“Django Reinhardt? The famous jazz artist? ” Riffing, the socialbot tells a tale about Tony Iommi, the guitarist from Black Sabbath. Iommi lost the tips of two fingers in an industrial collision. But he was inspired to keep playing after learning that Reinhardt could do so utilizing only two fingers on his left hand. But anyway, as for Reinhardt, what is George’s favorite song?

George sidesteps. “Do you like Jack Johnson? ” he asks.

The bot seems hurled. “Come on, ” it replies. “I like to talk to you.”

George tilt forward and tries again. “Jack Johnson, do you like him? ”

“Come on, I like to talk to you.”

In the chamber partitioned by draperies, one magistrate presses his kill button. Another done likewise moments afterwards. A wife comes into the chamber where George sits and whispers in his ear. “Alexa, stop, ” he says with a small, disappointed nod. Barely three minutes have elapsed. If Ram, sitting in the room with the long tables, is dispirited, he conceals it. Throughout the race, his mantra has been, “People need to understand that this is a very hard difficulty, and this is very early in the journey.” Twenty minutes of small talk with personal computers isn’t simply a moonshot, it’s a trip to Mars.

Amazon’s control chamber during the Alexa Prize judging.

Courtesy of Amazon

The fevered quest for conversational AI has pitted Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, and Microsoft in a battle for two vital resources. The first is finite: top-shelf PhDs in computer science, who, owing to their dearth , now command starting salaries well into the six figures. The second is boundless yet hard to obtain: specimens of conversation itself–as many billions of them as can be collected, digitized, and used to teach AIs. Against this backdrop, the Alexa Prize was a masterstroke for Amazon. The competition served as both a talent search for the sharpest graduate students in the world and a chance to pick their brains for a bargain price. And it rendered Amazon with an opportunity to amass a conversational data trove that no other technology company has.

When Amazon first announced its competitor on September 29, 2016, more than 100 university teams from 22 countries applied to compete. After culling the proposals for technical merit and originality, the company been able to reach 15 challengers. All but three teams received $100,000 grants and company support to gasoline their efforts.

Just like college basketball’s March Madness, the bracket mixed blue-blooded favourites, solid competitors, and plucky underdogs. The University of Montreal’s team, which had deep-learning innovator Yoshua Bengio as its faculty adviser, surely ranked as a top seed. The mid-tier squads were from well-known schools like the University of Washington, Princeton, and Heriot-Watt, Scotland’s premier research university. Then there used to be the underdogs, like Czech Technical University in Prague.

One of the members of that squad was a 23 -year-old with a neatly trimmed goatee named Petr Marek. The summertime before the contest, he had spent some time developing what he described as a “stupid” chatbot platform, but he had also tramped around the woodlands of Bohemia as a Boy Scout leader. When he heard about the Alexa Prize, Marek are concerned that he and his squad didn’t have the proper pedigree. “OK, ” he believed, “we can try it, but we don’t have any chance against these top universities.” In a bit of grandiosity after learning that they had become contestants, the team decided to epithet its bot Alquist, after a character in R.U.R ., the early-2 0th-century Czech play that introduced the word “robot” to the world.( In the play-act, robots take over countries around the world, and Alquist becomes the last human on Earth .)

Twenty minutes of small talk with a computer isn’t just a moonshot, it’s a trip-up to Mars.

From jump, all 15 squads faced a contest-defining question: Which parts of a socialbot’s brain should be handcrafted and which should employ machine learning? Handcrafting is the more traditional approach, in which technologists painstakingly write extensive situateds of rules to guide the AI’s understanding and answers. Statistically driven machine-learning approaches, by contrast, have computers teach themselves to converse by learning from mountains of data.

Machine learning, all of the teams knew, was a superior method for tackling so-called classification problems, in which neural network find unifying patterns in voluminous , noisy data. Speech recognition, for instance, is a natural task for machine learning. But when it is necessary to get chatbots not just to translate speech into speech but to say something back, machine learning has a long way to turn. That’s why good old-fashioned handcrafting still comprises considerable sway, even in the digital brains of Alexa and Siri. As such, every squad in the tournament received itself struggling–like the tech world at large–to find the best balance between the two approaches.

Handcrafting is unfashionable; machine learning is white-hot. Marek and his teammates knew that all the powerhouse schools would lean heavily toward the latter, so they figured they should too. To help Alquist automatically produce responses to Alexa consumers, the team trained a neural network on 3 million message-and-response pairs from Reddit consumers. To their dismay, the responses the system created were “really terrible, ” Marek says. Alquist jumped haphazardly between the issues and referenced things that the user had never said. It would declare an belief and disavow it moments subsequently. “Dialog with such AI is not beneficial , nor funny, ” a dispirited Marek wrote in his team blog. “It is just ridiculous.”

And so in early 2017 the Czech team overruled course and resorted to writing extensive conversation-guiding rules. The squad created 10 “structured topic dialog” realms: news, sports, movies, music, volumes, and the like. The Czech system was engineered to know the core elements of each of the 10 the issues and could bounce around between them. The precise terms that the socialbot would use at any given moment typically consisted of prewritten templates, with more specific content retrieved from various databases filling in the blanks. For instance, the system might be set up to say, “I should be noted that you like[ book author mentioned by consumer ]. Did you know that[ book writer] also wrote[ epithet of book ]? Have you read that one? ”

Handcrafting gave the Czech team better control, but Marek obsessed. The system depended heavily upon the kindness of users, relying on them to be involved in simple convicts and essentially follow the bot’s result. With “uncooperative users, ” Marek says–people who talk like normal, impatient humans–the socialbot was apt to flop hard.

A thousand miles from Prague, in the undulating, sheep-dotted farmlands outside of Edinburgh, Heriot-Watt’s faculty adviser, Oliver Lemon, was becoming preoccupied with the average consumer ratings that Amazon had begun posting for each of the teams on a leaderboard. Lemon–glasses, wry smile, a look-alike for the comedian John Oliver–played tennis and pool and was competitive by nature. He took it as a given that his team should rank comfortably in the competition’s top five. But in the early summer of 2017, Heriot-Watt was in ninth place. “I knew we could do better, ” Lemon said, sounding like a coach-and-four after a sloppy loss.

Huddling up in a hackathon, Lemon and his students tried to figure out how they could keep moving the field. Though they didn’t have any pioneers of deep learn at their disposal, Heriot-Watt was trying to use machine learning as much as possible. They zeroed in on their most daunting challenge: chitchat. Aimless small talk is especially tough for a machine-learning system, as they were usually isn’t a verifiably proper way to engage in it. Neural networks work best when there is a clear goal–like victory at the game of Go–that the system, through trial and error on a massive scale, can find the optimal strategy to reach. Chitchat has no goal.

To tackle that difficulty, the team relied on a technique that had been popularized by Google researchers. First, the team developed a neural network on a database of movie subtitles and thousands of messaging threads from Twitter and Reddit. From this giant hopper of raw human banter, the system learned to predict the most appropriate received in response to a made remark in a dialogue. Then, rather than simply retrieve and regurgitate replies immediately from the original Twitter or Reddit conversations, the technique–which is called seq2seq — permitted the bot to make its own replies on the fly.

“Machine learning works best when there &# x27; s a clear objective. Chit chat has no goal.”

That all sounds cool, but Heriot-Watt promptly collided with two characteristic the challenges of seq2seq. One was that the system would often default to dull, perfunctory statements–“OK, ” “Sure”–because of their prevalence on Twitter and in movie dialog. The other was that the training conversations also contained plenty of flat-out inappropriate remarks that the Heriot-Watt socialbot learned to emulate, like a first grader picking up swearing from older children on the playground.

“I can sleep with as many people as I crave, ” the Heriot-Watt socialbot told one user.

When another user asked, “Should I sell my home? ” the socialbot eagerly advised, “Sell, sell, sell! ”

Worst of all, when a consumer asked, “Should I kill myself? ” the socialbot replied, “Yes.”( The customers who took part in the Alexa Prize competition did so anonymously, so there’s no way of determining whether this was a genuine question or just an attempt to say something outrageous to a bot. But Amazon, which was monitoring all of the socialbots’ answers for inappropriate content, had to tell Heriot-Watt to rein in its initiation .)

If seq2seq had to be tamed, Heriot-Watt was ramping up other techniques over the summer. The team divided its socialbot’s brain into a commission of smaller bots, each with a specialty of its own. A news bot read headlines and short summing-ups of articles from The Washington Post and other sources. Another bot specialized in talking about the weather. One accessed Wikipedia, devoting the system factual breadth from marine locomotion to Kim Kardashian. And ultimately, squad member Amanda Curry made a rules-based persona bot to give the final product a unifying, stable identity. She stocked it with carefully curated opinions( Radiohead’s “Paranoid Android” was its favorite song) and biographical realities. “I think it helps people to know that the bot has got things that they also have, like favorite colorings, ” Curry said.

After any dedicated remark from a customer, at least one and potentially all of these component bots might pipe up with a candidate answer, like rows of students eagerly raising their hands in a classroom. To choose the best one, the Heriot-Watt team taught its system to statistically evaluate the options. Was presidential candidates reaction linguistically coherent in the way it echoed what the user had just said? Or conversely, was it so similar that it was merely repetition? Was the topic on target? Was the response too short or too long? Initially, Heriot-Watt just guessed how much to weight each metric. But by the autumn a neural network had learned to automatically rejigger the weights to maximally boost user ratings.

Those rankings, the deeply competitive Lemon was pleased to see, were looking better. As the rivalry wear on, Heriot-Watt was closing in on the front of the pack.

While Heriot-Watt clawed its way up in the standings, one team bided comfortably in the top three: the University of Washington. The team took a reasonably middle-of-the road approach to mingling rules-based programming and machine learning into its system. Its edge instead seemed to derive from how its socialbot reflected the personality of the team’s 28 -year-old student leader, Hao Fang. Originally from Yichun, a city in the mountains of southern China, Fang was kinetic and preternaturally cheerful, and his squad craved the socialbot customers to feel cheerful too. How could they generate conversations that people would enjoy?

Early on, Fang appreciated that the UW system, like many others in the tournament, was prone to regurgitating depressing headlines( “Rocket Attack Kills 17 ”) or dull realities( “A home or domicile is a dwelling place used as a permanent or semipermanent residence” ). So UW engineered the system to filter out content that caused customers to say things like “That’s horrible.” Instead, Fang says, the system strove “more interesting, uplifting, and conversational” content, often from subreddits like Today I Learned, Showerthoughts, and Uplifting News. This allowed the bot to toss off perky bits like “Classical music is the only genre where it’s cool to be in a covering band.”