So, Ace Race...what happened?
To give everyone a clearer, more objective view of the situation, I present: the spreadsheet. It contains a list of every player's two times and placements and who disconnected (Keep in mind there could be more, these are just the names I saw in chat join/leave).
I calculated how many places players went up or down and how their time improved. They are color coded by team, and for your convenience I put three lists next to each other: The original placements, the new placements, and what the placements would look like if the only new times you counted were the players that disconnected. (This took seven hours).
Analysis under the cut
For the record, when the first player logged off (Captain Sparklez), there was 4:30 left, when the last player rejoined (Scar) there was 4:01 left, the first person (Dream) placed with 3:28 seconds left. they stopped the game with 1:20 left. And 5up, as far as I know, didn't even rejoin until after the race was over.
Fruit brought up the issue in chat at 2:29 left (after he finished), a few others agreed with him. Oli brought up redoing it with 2:07 left. I don't know whether the admins didn't notice or didn't realize how many people actually dc'd or figured teams were equally affected, but they announced a redo at 1:44. It was tight, they made a decision in 2 minutes and 17 seconds if they noticed everyone disconnecting. Or in less than a minute if they only noticed when people talked in chat, and they did stop the game 14 seconds later.
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Now for some analysis, many players dropped a few placements and felt upset about it, thinking they did worse. This leads to them becoming more frustrated with the reset. I suspected they likely didn't, it was just there were quite a few really good ace race players that got discontented (Illumina, Fruitberries, HBomb).
The vast majority of players improved their time, often by a lot. The only ones that didn't were: Dream, Sapnap, InTheLittleWood, Smallishbeans, FoolishG, Badboyhalo, and AntVenom.
To my knowledge: Dream tried and failed to copy Purpled's skip several times, Martyn had a really good run the first time/tried skips, and Ant's trident didn't work/he tried skips. Joel, Sap, and Bad's were 0-2 seconds worse. I don't know what happened to Foolish (lack of morale ?)
As to be expected, everyone who disconnected improved majorly from 45 seconds to over 1 minute and 30 seconds. Most also rose quite a few placements, but not all. And not enough to account for all the upset in the new placements, so what else?
Well, those who practiced for ace race a lot, vod reviewed, and had experience was now void of those advantages. Now, people had a fresh run, they are familiar with the movements needed, and they saw other people do skips that they can try.
Bad originally had a massive advantage because he has a unique way he practices it that familiarizes the movements to him, but that's now gone, though he only lost one second, he dropped 14 places. Hannah, on the other hand, had never played ace race in an event before. But with the reset, she did and thus performed much better, gaining 6 places.
Almost everyone got faster times, but certain people with certain circumstances were more affected by it. So players, rest assured, you probably did improve the second time around, others just improved more (others being players that were previously handicapped).
(Also Dream, yes it was at least 10 people that were dc'd, Skeppy has not played in 14 months and it was Fruit and Illumina.)
Here's the link if anyone was having trouble accessing it: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1TnIGRBftyOJUFE0IDK-cffCyTHVMVeQjeJ8nz-4egY4/edit?usp=sharing
I really hope this doesn't need to be said, but DO NOT use this as a basis to harass Scott or Noxite or any of the Noxcrew. I really hope this clears up some misunderstandings and make some people feel better, not make things worse. It was a tough decision, but I think it was by far the right one. You can see for yourself how much of a difference the disconnects made. Noxcrew does a lot every month to bring us the wonderful event that is MCC, Scott made the teams we're all so fond of, they just released the closed beta of MCC Island. No, things weren't perfect or ideal, but it was out of their control. Besides, we've only had 2 MCCs out of 24 that was this level of scuffed and I think that's a pretty damn good track record.
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all of these bitches acting like if they didn’t just come off the high of getting first in an event and then being told “no we actually have to redo it” like they would perform at the same level. no i would actually be so much worse than dream. like what do you mean i didn’t actually get 1st and now have to REDO what i just did. it would literally make me mad before even going into the second run.
the fact that dream still managed to place top 10 even though he was obviously upset/annoyed at having to redo it was really good. and if there had been no first run or they had stopped it when they realized people were bugging, he prob would’ve done better cause he wouldn’t have had the knowledge that his FIRST PLACE was taken away.
and the thing is . Like. U need to look at the thought process and mind set there. Dream thought he CLUTCHED ace race and fucking got away w his mistakes in the first run. And to find out people were d/ced puts this ‘oh. So maybe that’s how i got first’ thought in ur mind. it’s the same w players who got 8/9th. I feel like it happened w george too in like a delayed way. where he wanted to do better at first and prove urself but when u see urself placing lower than ur prev ace race run placement the feeling that all those supposed dozen people who disconnected (it wasn’t actually as many as they claimed but i could be wrong) were the people meant to place above you seeps in and you self sabotage
also random but i can’t help thinking what could’ve been if dream had not tried the skip bc he failed it FOUR times like those were HUGELY punishing skips to fail and he STILL got SEVENTH like. LIKE. and in round 1 he beat purpled WHO WAS DOING THOSE SKIPS. we can speculate day and night whether fruit or illumina would’ve hypothetically beaten dream in that scenario but dream ACTUALLY beat out purpled doing skips when he had no skips and messed up a bunch. THATS HOW GOOD DREAM IS. his movement is so underrated
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Illumina's just on the server constantly bc he's a fucking sweaty gamer boy (derogatory (affectionate))
lmaoooo TRUUUUUUU (and dream takes that personally)
tbh i don’t blame him, that server actually seems like so much fun :’) i’d love to try out some mcc games
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So you want to read some banging Reylo fics...
{or: a roundup post of some of my recent reads}
And It Burns. (T, 6K) I am begging you to read this. It’s Lightside Ben and Darth Kira and it is glorious and so beautifully written. The constant push and pull between them, the shifting dynamic, the way the character roles are reversed but everything still feels so incredibly natural and organic and them... masterful. So, so gorgeous.
To Say (M, 600 words) is a really, really beautiful soulmate AU drabble. You will definitely cry, but it’s so worth it. Truly.
I’ve got you (under my skin) (E, WIP) Y’all, it’s nanny Rey and she’s hooooorny. So is Ben. They’re both like, indecently horny. It’s great. Basically, Ben hires Rey to look after his son. (Sexy) stuff happens.
Six Feet Under (E, WIP) Archeologst Ben & Egyptologist Rey are working on a dig together when they find a very interesting journal. It goes very much uphill from there. Guys, this is so much fun! Do you know how long I’ve wanted a story like this? (as long as I’ve been alive, probs). I love the fact that they’re supposed to have huge IQs but they’re basically idiots when it comes to like... feelings.
Truth Be Told (M, 29K) IT’S AN ALIAS AU. Ahhhhh. Alias is one of my favourite shows of all time and this does not disappoint. Rey is the babeliest badass, just like Sydney, and Agent Ben is dreamy, just like Vaughn. This reminded me of the best of Alias and for that, I love it.
Midnight Snacks (T, 2K) They meet late one night in the community kitchen and Ben is offended that Rey would choose to eat something as awful as noodles - so he makes her something infinitely better :))
A Bright New Light (G, 3K) A really special take on Ben’s time at the Temple and how he felt when Rey was born. I love everything about this. The author’s take on what Ben felt when he was sent away, on his conflicting emotions, his inability to fit in, and his yearning for belonging all align perfectly with what I have always envisioned. I also love the care they put into the side characters, like Luke and particularly Tai, and the way they wrote about the bond. So, so beautiful.
a love like ours (T, 6K) In which Ben is a funeral director and Rey is a florist and ohmygodit’samodernHadesandPersephone AU. Utterly charming!!
Do You Know The Muffin Man? (T, 2K) The one where Ben is smitten with his co-worker Rey and he starts leaving muffins on her desk. So really, my taste in everything.
can’t take my eyes (off of you) (E, WIP) Is the genderswapped 10 Things I Hate About You AU of my dreams. I don’t know what else to say besides the obvious - read it.
take care of you (M, 3K) Come one, come all - get your sugar sweet devoted Reylo fix! Wherein Ben has had a bad day and Rey wants nothing more than to make it all better *happy sigh*
Remedy For Rivalry (E, WIP) Listen, some people say there’s no such thing as a perfect story, but then this comes along and it’s an historical arranged marriage enemies to lovers WHO HAVE HISTORY type of deal and they are proven wrong. Because this? Perfection.
how to be something you miss (T, 7K) They’re exes but they love each other and they miss each other but they’re dumb... is the thing. Soft. Soft, soft, soft and sweet and perfect.
all of you, all of me (intertwined) (T, 7K) *sobs in a good way* This is an incredibly sweet take on the whole ‘redeemed Ben trying to fit in at the Resistance base’ scenario. Lovely stuff!!
A Nightingale Sang (E, WIP) I know I keep begging you to read stuff, but I am begging you to read this. It’s so fucking beautiful I could cry. I have cried, and I’m sure I’ll continue crying. It’s a WWII AU and Ben & Rey are both pilots. I don’t want to spoil it for you because this is not the kind of story you read - it’s the kind you experience. Give it a chance, I promise you won’t regret it.
Choreae Lucis (E, 7K) The one where single father Ben takes his daughter to Ballet lessons and his heart pirouettes for teacher Rey. Sooooooooo sweet and wonderful and SOFT.
neither here nor there (E, 6K) What happens when Rey purchases a sex toy that is an exact replica of porn star Kylo Ren’s, uh... lightsaber, only to find out that her neighbour Ben is Kylo Ren? This happens, and it’s glorious.
curse the beauty, curse the queen (E, WIP) I’ve only just started this but the premise is delicious - former Queen of Naboo Rey and Senator Ben Solo are to be married, in a plan hatched by Ben’s grandmother Padmé. Naturally, I’m in lust.
Twitfics
System Override - If you’ve been following me for any measure of time, you might be aware of how much I love the Illuminae series (it’s a whole, disgusting lot). This gives me the BEST illuminae vibes. Basically, It’s Supreme Leader Ben bonding with AI R.E.Y. I love love love love it.
want you more than a melody is my current obsession. Orchestra AUs are of one my favourite things in the world and this one is GOD TIER. Ben plays the cello, Rey plays the flute, and they are reunited at the New York Phillarmonic after six years without seeing each others. Turns out, Rey was left with more than just memories after their whirlwind romance. This. is. everything.
Betas Only is a roommates AU in which Ben is looking for a beta to share an apartment with him. Beta Rey applies (lol). Also on AO3!
Priceless - Y’aaaaaaall, it’s a Wedding Date AU and I’m in love.Or: the one where Rey hires Ben to be her escort to Rose’s wedding.
Fall Into the Dark Side - comic bookshop worker Rey and comic book writer Ben are possibly my new faves. I binged it this morning and I love everything about it.
Lingerey - the one where Rey texts her dearly detested colleague Ben a photo of herself...scantily clad. Shenanigans very much ensue. Gourmet!
Lingerey (II) is another take on the above prompt, but this time Rey is Ben’s son’s nanny.
Shampoo Challenge features roommates Ben & Rey and Ben’s dick going viral.
Artfullly sees Poe asking Ben & Rey to participate in his risqué art installation.
To Whomever Gets My Dog tells the tale of military man Ben who has to leave his pooch behind. Thankfully, Rey is available to foster him :)
Last twitfic rec post | Fic Rec tag | Masterpost
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Manhunt au trash
Cuz I can only rlly express things thru my art but I can’t seem to get myself to draw so I’ll just type trash about the AU cuz I feel like it. Mainly stuff about the characters cuz they and their relationships are kinda different, it’s kinda like I just made characters based off these dudes lmao
- Dream and Sapnap were childhood friends. It didn’t matter that Sapnap had no idea what the heck Dream was. But one day, Sapnap disappeared...
- Later Dream became friends with George, an inventor. George would create fun inventions for them to mess around with. They liked to fight the Enderdragon together (obviously Dream carries lmao) and sometimes would even try to beat it with whatever weird invention George made.
- After the first manhunt (NOT a friendly game. A lot of AUs make it like that which is valid, but in this au the hunting is serious business) Dream and George stopped hanging out, after some arguing. George continued to use his tracker compass invention to try to stop Dream from beating the Enderdragon, and Dream got upset enough to try hunting George too.
- They’re upset at each other but still miss their good times together... very sad. But every time they see each other they get scared because they’re usually out to kill each other, so they never talk about it and instead grow further and further apart.
- AND NOW LETS GO SEE SAPNAP AGAIN! He’s become a wanted criminal since he disappeared. Sneaking into people’s speedruns and killing them. Don’t worry, after doing it to Dream he’s better. He has a lot going on in this AU... he’s a silly boy but he’s also very serious and feels guilty a lot. He’s a lot more positive than any other hunter that Dream needs to be stopped.
- now let’s look at BadBoyHalo yayy. He comes from a very different place. We don’t talk about where he ORIGINALLY came from, but the second place he lived had Skeppy and a6d and Zelk and all those guys. Yeah they exist in this AU but only for bbh’s backstory lmao. And yes, this place is still far from the place Dream is.
- Dream has the power to visit people in their dreams, and that’s how he met Bad. They became friends. This is after a few manhunts happen. Dream looked for a new friend cuz he was lonely since George and Sapnap didn’t trust him anymore.
- Bad thought that what George was doing was wrong, and went to kill him. After doing so, George convinced Bad that Dream was actually the one he couldn’t trust. It took a while but eventually Bad was no longer on Dream’s side. Rip Dream is even lonelier now.
- Honestly Dream’s best option for a friend at this point is probably Illumina. He also exists in this AU cuz he’s in a manhunt. There’s nothing super serious happening in that one tho. Just a fellow world record speedrunner getting curious about the now famous manhunts Dream is part of. Just wait for Technoblade to join this AU so he can steal Dream’s clout-
- Dream, when you get to know him, is a pretty chill guy. However, he’s become rather scary. Outside of manhunts he acts friendly to everyone, but even strangers can feel the dangerous, scary, and even lonely aura he gives off. Everyone avoids him, and he’s used to it.
- George is. Well. I don’t really need to describe his personality cuz not much is different. He’s pretty focused on his inventions though, and isn’t really used to having others around, especially not when they’re being nice to him. He thinks it’s weird (this world they live in is a little hostile and not many people trust others).
- I already described Sapnap earlier. Because of his status as a criminal with a bounty on his head, he doesn’t go out much, and only sticks by people he trusts. He likes having friends, but people can get on his nerves sometimes...
- Bad is. Well. He’s certainly different from the others. His level of politeness is very rare in this world, and it throws everyone off. However, he’s rather violent. Which really throws everyone off. He would brutally murder you and then offer you a muffin when you respawn, smiling the whole time. He’s also part enderman, and since he’s barely met any regular humans before, he asks George and Sapnap TONS of stupid questions about humans. You can NOT convince Bad that Human isn’t a language. He asks the other two hunters to say things in Human all the time.
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Hey Dolphin anon! While I respect your opinion, I disagree on some points. I don’t know where the popular sentiment that he doesn’t denounce his stans’ toxic behavior came from but he’s said multiple times that he denounces it (https://twitter.com/PooGnf/status/1399592255657156608/video/1 ignore the user lol :) ) and that’s just what he says on Twitter. Some of it yeah is a little more lighthearted, like when he talks about Detective Dream in some of the tweets, but I’d say that a fair amount of those tweets lack sarcasm and are said in full seriousness. In addition, he’s also said not to send hate on his behalf during multiple of his own livestreams, he said it when he went on Kaceytron’s streams, he said he didn’t condone toxic behavior during Kavos’s video, as well as multiple times throughout various drama like the speedrunning situation and the John Swan situation (for Blue and others, John Swan is a commentary youtubers who basically did a lot of weird shit, who Dream worked with in the past and had a bad experience with. man imitated Dream’s discord profile and pretended to be him while sending sexual things to a minor, and then tried to blame everything he did on his 12-year old neighbor when he got caught, saying he left his computer open and that that neighbor got on Discord and was the one who did all that weird shit. Obviously false and got proven false, but even when Dream was debunking the situation on stream, he said not to send hate). He’s said it multiple times and I agree that he should continue to say it as he continues to grow to remind both new and old fans but he’s said it multiple times and at this point, anyone who Is still sending death threats is aware that it’s wrong and that he doesn’t support it and they just don’t care. I personally think that behavior is disgusting and I know most of the people I interact with on Twitter do as well. At this point, it’s just sort of a question of to what extent do people want him to say it. The most recent time he denounced death threats was on May 31st both on Twitter and on stream, and he’s probably said it at least once a month almost every month since like December, so he says it quite a bit, so going further would be personally DMing each toxic person he sees and telling them to stop which. I just think is a little absurd. I know that others want him to post a video on his main channel about it and condoning it as well, but I sort of disagree? While death threats can be sent on any platform, the platform on which people receive it on the most is Twitter. Anyone who’s obsessed enough to send death threats is going to be following him on all socials so they’ve definitely seen him condemning it as he’s tweeted saying that he doesn’t support that type of behavior multiple times, but of course, others are allowed to disagree with me on that, I just think that it’s hard to find a good course of action past that. I agree that toxic behavior should still be called out, but I feel like a lot of people advocating for him to do it more than he is now kind of don’t understand how out of control toxic behavior is and how they rarely listen to creators themselves.
The speedrunning stuff I kind of agree on, though I’ll just go a little more in depth about the situation. basically, for those who don’t watch Dream’s videos, dream codes mod videos for Minecraft and these mod videos would consist of things like “Minecraft but everything is dark” and “Minecraft but we can only see one chunk at a time”. Now because Dream still runs the dream SMP and did speed running at the time he had to move these mods out of the mod folder in order to do everything else that he was doing when he wasn’t recording videos. This would later on lead to the problem where the speed run moderators would ask for his mods folder and he wouldn’t be able to provide a full copy because he had since moved stuff around because it had been a week after the actual speedrun streams they were inquiring about. The thing that ended up being the problem was a recording mod that Dream had asked a separate developer to create for him and the Dream Team in order to make their recordings smoother. that was sort of it there weren’t any specifics given, he just wanted recordings to be better. Now because it was just for recordings and since the mod ran well dream didn’t ask the developer for the specifics of what they coded into this recording mod at the time. In his mind this recording mod sort of just clean things up visually. And for those who have never really played Minecraft, what I mean by that is if you press F5 in Minecraft you get a whole ton of information on your screen about coordinates and computer specs. When people say that the mod cleaned things up visually, they mean that all of that irrelevant information that clogs up the screen in a video was minimized to just coordinates. he was wrong in this assumption, the Recording mud also included coding that allowed for better trades. again for anyone who doesn’t play Minecraft, Dream and the Dream Team record their videos in the 1.16 version of Minecraft. In this version of Minecraft, it’s a widely used tactic to use piglin trades to get ender pearls. Since their videos aren’t just about beating the game regularly, there’s usually more of a focus on fighting or the specific mod that they’re using for that video, the developer increased the likelihood of ender pearl trades with pigeons in order to make recordings go faster. Regardless of that and his misconception of what the mod actually did, Dream didn’t believe it mattered because there was no record of him having loaded that recording mod during the speedrunning streams in question. This is because Dream uses something that a lot of speed runners use, he uses Fabric. Fabric API is something that both allows your Minecraft to run smoother (which is why a lot of speed runners use it, it’s approved to be used by the speed run moderators) and for those who wish to do so, it also functions as a mod loader. So when I said that he had no record of him having loaded the recording mod, I mean that when he checked the logs of Fabric API, it said that the only thing loaded was Fabric itself. this was inherently a wrong way to go about it because the way Fabric API logs work is that you have to be searching for a specific mod, so you can’t just look at what the log says is loaded on because sometimes the logs don’t show a mod unless you specifically ask the program to look for it. Dream figured this out a couple months ago, he went back through the logs, talk to the developer who coded the recording mod and got confirmation that yes, he did have the recording mod on and yes, the recording mod does increase ender pearl drop rates. He recently wrote a pastebin that has since been taken down by the pastebin staff though screenshots of it are still easy to find. I do wish that he had come out about this sooner because he knew of this information for a couple months before openly sharing, but I do get the situation has sort of faded and that he wasn’t excited to re-open that discussion when he himself had gotten a lot of hate and the threats during that situation.
Obviously as outsiders looking in we will never know how genuine he’s being, if he’s telling the truth, but I choose to believe that he did feel as bad about the situation as he said he did because for a lot of people who do consume his content, it’s been very noticeable within the past couple months that he’s been a lot less active both in terms of streaming and just interacting with the community, but of course, it’s all just personal interpretation and we will never actually know. 
Just wanted to explain the situation fully because people who may not play Minecraft and understand it the developing behind it may not understand how he could’ve possibly not seen the mod or not have a copy of the mod folder. I would disagree with you on the point that the controversy around Dream’s speed runs has delegitimized the rest of the speed running community. As someone who still watches well-known speed runners like Bennex and Illumina (TapL and Punz if they count as well), I don’t think any of them have really argued that they think that situation has delegitimize them, though I guess you could argue that they simply haven’t spoken up because they’re a little too afraid to speak up against a big Youtuber, which is fair. But as someone who has spoken to a lot of people who have sort of slightly read up on the situation without actually caring about Minecraft or Dream, none of them have said that they think that the speed running community is not legitimate because of it. Not to sound flippant because I do like watching speedrunners (albeit the already more popular ones) or anything, but the Minecraft speedrunning community isn’t exactly very mainstream, not very many people care enough to actively oppose it or say that they’re not legitimate, from what I’ve seen it’s either just you support the community or you don’t care. Even people who actively thought that dream cheated from the beginning, never used that to discredit the rest of the community (at least from what I saw). They simply didn’t care. anyone making that argument is sort of ridiculous, before the 1.16 speed runs that got investigated, Dream already had a couple official speed runs on his YouTube channel. At the time they were posted, they were approved and legitimate (though I believe one’s been taken down now), so it’s not like even Dream’s entire time in speedrunning was completely falsified, so anyone using one situation to delegitimize a whole community is being a little ridiculous. In addition, anyone who actually knows and cares enough about the speedrunning community to try to claim that all of them aren’t credible, would know that a lot of the speedrunning community didn’t even like dream all that much, even before the cheating out allegations, and they didn’t really associate with him, so they would know the Dream’s actions don’t define the entire community. If you’re talking about Dream’s more general fans, like those who watch his YouTube who may now be skewed against the speedrunning community, you can look at comments in his community tab on his channel and see that people aren’t actively against the speedrunning community, they just say they don’t care and they want it behind them which is very different from thinking that they are all illegitimate. Though if you have substantial proof of multiple cases of multiple people being biased against speedrunning community and believing that they’re all cheaters after Dream’s situation, I’d be open to see them.
I also disagree with your point over Dream being a “professional speed runner”. He says this in responses to claims that speedrunning is a huge part of his career. And he’s correct when people talk about dreams achievements, none of them really talk about speed running that much it’s always about the SMP, his manhunt videos, and his coding videos. He’s not a professional speed runner in the way Illumina and Couriway and Bennex are. His career isn’t based on professional speedrunning. Citing the Minecraft manhunt series as proof that he’s a “professional speed runner“ is definitely a little skewed and ultimately wrong. If you tried to claim those as official speedruns, the moderating team would likely have a little laugh and then reject it. Yes, he has speed runner in the title and yes in a way, it is a speedrun because he is trying to beat the game as fast as possible, but more so he’s trying to avoid being killed by his friends in the game so it’s about both speed and being smart. Everyone within the speed run community and a lot of those outside of it would know that being chased down by your friends during the game isn’t a real category in Minecraft speedrunning and therefore the Minecraft Manhunt videos aren’t official speed runs. So people claiming that dream is an official speed runner and that that’s his career is ultimately false, which is what he was saying. His official speed runs were all done for fun and have never been the main focus of his content.
When you say that the legitimacy of the speedrunning community was called into question, I will admit, I’m unsure if you’re talking about the community itself and the people with in it, like the actual speedrunners, or if you’re talking about the moderator team or both.  I will admit, even as someone who hyperfixates on Dream, his initial reaction to the moderators video saying that he cheated was godawful. for Blue and others who aren’t as into this and don’t know, basically the gist was he was lashing out and saying it was total bullshit and calling them idiots. He has since deleted that tweet and apologized for it and admitted that it was incredibly childish and impulsive. While I do get why he was so mad since the video had blindsided him after weeks of radio silence from the moderators and as a kid who didn’t finish high school he didn’t really understand the statistics that were being said in the video and since at the time he genuinely didn’t think that he cheated (a lot of people have said that all this combined led to heavy RSD which is why he lashed out like that), I still think that he could’ve handled the situation a lot better.  on the other hand I think the moderators could’ve handled this situation a lot better as well. I don’t want to talk about the whole moderator team but I do want to talk about specifically Geosquare, who is probably the most talked about moderator when it comes to the situation. Dolphin anon, if you’re talking about the legitimacy of the moderator team being called into question, I’m assuming the situation surrounding Geosquare is likely what you’re talking about, which is a slightly different situation from just the speedrunning. So for Blue and others, before the video talking about Dream cheating was released, Dream had been told that there were people on the moderating team who didn’t like him. Knowledge of this bias is also a part of what caused Dream to lash out more in his initial reaction (though again it doesn’t excuse it). The biased moderator in question turned out to be Geosquare. This was heavily proven later on in about March of this year, where Geosquare played a large role in spreading the video of fake ‘dream’ saying the n-word. Geosquare was a speedrun moderator, he Has investigative skills and he got called out for spreading that video without doing any sort of investigating because it was clear to a lot of people that the person in the video wasn’t Dream. There were multiple things that made this video seem not credible, all of which easily could’ve been found by Geosquare.
Firstly, antis of Dream had been saying since January that they were going to try to find a way to accuse Dream of saying the N-word whether that just be through spreading rumors or faking a video or whatever else. Secondly, the video really sounds nothing like dream. Now I will say this video that the clip of someone saying the n-word was from 2016-2017. I’m not saying the video was fake, I’m not saying that someone somehow predicted that Dream was going to become a big creator or time traveled and went back in time to set him up for that. but the most common theory is that and he simply did go looking back through old Minecraft videos in order to find something incriminating. Both the creator of this video and a friend of the person who was saying the N-word in the video have since explained this.  so basically for blue and others, Dream has not always on the Minecraft username Dream. He got it from someone else. And so the person in this video is called Dream. Since it was a while ago the timeline’s a little fuzzy for everyone and it’s unsure if this video occurred before Dream got the username or if it occurred after Dream got the username and the people within the video simply still called the person in the video Dream because that was what they were used to calling them. The clip’s a little too grainy to see the usernames and the video has since been taken down by the original poster. Either way, two different people. Geosquare has since admitted that this was bias on his end and that he apologized to Dream and that they’re all good and has given an apology to the black community for using the n-word as a weapon for his own bias and he has since stepped from the speedrun moderating team. so dolphin anon, when you’re talking about the legitimacy of the community being called into question if you’re talking about the moderating team, yes, you’d be correct, it was called into question, but I would say for valid and good reasons because it ultimately was biased (though again, doesn’t change that Dream was the one in the wrong in the speedrunning situation w how he initially reacted).  I don’t want to fully blame Geosquare and say that it was completely obvious it wasn’t Dream or make it seem completely obvious to you guys, because things like mic changes and puberty do exist, so I’ll give the clips and allow you all to decide for yourselves.
The clip of someone, accused to be Dream, saying the N-word: https://twitter.com/Tommathyinnit/status/1375395156791336964/video/1 (I am not entirely sure which speaker is being accused to be Dream, which was sort of the first indicated to me that it probably wasn’t him because I don’t think peoples voices change That much, but I think he was being accused to be the person who was saying “well you can bring your friend...”) Again, this video is from 2016-2017.
A clip of Dream talking, also from 2016-2017: https://twitter.com/Onciescumbucket/status/1357440678909923335/video/1 (okay so. again ignore the user 😭 but it’s confirmed to be Dream by the fact it does sound like him and his long-time friends Sapnap, who used to go by PandascanPvP, and BadBoyHalo being in the video. I believe the video has captions so even for those who don’t know Dream or what he sounds like, it’ll tell you which one’s him and you can compare that voice to the one in the other clip)
But yeah. aaaaa I’m sorry for such a long submission, I’m hyperfixated on Dream and the Dream Team, though I do understand that there are legitimate criticisms on all of them and that no one’s required to like them, and people don’t need real reasons to dislike them because people are allowed to dislike whomever they want. Definitely not any hate towards you dolphin anon, I think that you do have points, I just wanted to express my disagreement with some of them and it’s nice that you do acknowledge that the toxicity goes both ways for both stans and antis. I think a big problem is that a lot of the creators who condemn or speak against Dream (people like Slasher and Noah Hugbox and Kavos) don’t openly condemn the toxic behavior of their own fans as much as Dream does, so it becomes a very hypocritical cycle where they’re making videos about the toxicity of Dream stans and yet their own fans send death threats to Dream and his community. And since the death threats towards Dream come from multiple different fanbase rather than one centralized fanbase the way it is if toxic people from Dream’s community are attacking someone, he can’t really pin it on one person and ask them to denounce their fans so it just becomes a thing where he’s both receiving a ton of death threats while being asked to denounce death threats towards others when there’s no one really denouncing death threats towards him, which is just discouraging for his community to see, but that’s just how the Internet is, I suppose. Again, no hate to you dolphin anon and I’m sorry if any part of this came off as such, and again Blue, I’m sorry for such a long submission
MY GOODNESS WHAT A SCROLL
Not gonna read all of it cuz its clearly dedicated to my dolphin anon.
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Beyond this Existence, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 5
Summary: After Xehanort's death, Demyx finds himself unexpectedly human in Radiant Garden. With nothing but fragments of his past and a cryptic statement from Xemnas, he's left to figure out who he is. When Ienzo asks for his help with a project, the two find common ground, but the trauma and secrets in both of their pasts could tear it apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Ienzo), post-KH3 canon compliant
Read it on FF.net/ on AO3
A few days passed. The illumina plant, away from the sun and in the darkness at night, shed its browning petals and new buds replaced them. Demyx checked it meticulously, made sure it was received neither too much water or too little. He even looked it up in the library, and found that fish worked as a good fertilizer. The next time they had some for dinner, he snuck a few bites into his napkin and buried them deep into the dark soil.
The pain and stiffness in his hand lessened day by day until finally it was almost back to normal. Ienzo was preoccupied with Ansem, so Even offered to remove the stitches. Thankfully, the removal wasn’t nearly as painful.
“The body’s ability to heal is remarkable, but tedious,” Even remarked. “Try not to get into any more accidents.”
The scar left behind was thin but still an angry red, and the skin was weirdly sensitive from being under a bandage for so long. Demyx noticed that Even’s touch was rougher than Ienzo’s, his treatments less gentle. And for whatever reason, the contact left no impression on him at all. He wasn’t sure what this meant, or if he really wanted to know.
“I’ve come to no conclusions with your samples,” Even said. “So far… everything seems utterly ordinary. Disappointing. I’m running a few tests which will take longer. I’m not sure these memories of yours are as displaced as you think.”
A thin finger of relief brushed down his spine. “That makes more sense,” he said slowly.
“I’m sure with time your memory will return. It just takes some patience. I know that’s not your strong suit.”
Demyx shook his head. “You’d be surprised,” he said. “See you at dinner.”
He headed back downstairs, towards town. He was hoping that the instrument seller was at the marketplace this week. He still had little money, but maybe they could work out some sort of deal. Demyx would gladly do almost anything for a sitar; he could watch the booth, or do odd jobs, or really almost anything. It would be worth it to shake this emptiness he was feeling.
He passed the study room on his way down, and to his surprise, he heard the piano. The notes were weak, and hesitant, and slow; exactly what a new player would sound like if they were out of their depth. He opened the door. “You going ahead without me?” he asked.
Ienzo looked up, startled. There were deep, bruiselike bags under his eyes. “Oh, Demyx,” he said. “No. Not quite. I just… I was trying to figure out the rhythm of a phrase. It changes the meaning of the characters in my translation, which changes the meaning of… just about everything.” He set his head in his palms. “I’d basically have to start over.”
“How long have you been at this?” Demyx asked. “It… seems like you’re pretty tired.”
Ienzo blinked, then looked out the window. “...Quite some time,” he admitted. “I… tend to lose track.”
Demyx sat next to him on the bench. “Which section do you mean?”
“This little bit here. See?” He touched the measure in question. Ienzo played the phrase, bungling the triplet. “I can’t for the life of me count it out correctly. I… should have waited for you.”
“Well, you’re in luck.” He held out his left hand. “I’m all healed up. Even took out the stitches. Let me see. Oh, right. I remember this.” He wrinkled his nose. “It’s the meter. 29/16ths.”
“Beg pardon?” Ienzo raised an eyebrow.
“I know, right? God, at least make it an even number. 30/16ths would be so much easier to count. And they’re short measures, too, that all bleed into each other. It’s so…”
“Chaotic,” they said at the same time. Demyx felt the blood rush to his face.
“Well, it sounds… kind of more like this.” He played through the bridge again. “I’m sure on the actual sectioned instrument it would be completely different. And that would be…” He thumbed through the pages, seeking the same phrase. “...This one. And it’s got a treble clef, which means your options are really, really open. ...What’s this?” Next to the clef was a small character.
“They’re letters. Let me see.” He stood and hefted a large runic dictionary into his arms. He flicked through the pages. “My guess would be either an F or an S. Runes are, for whatever reason, pretty phonetically similar to our language now. If I had to start my studies all over again I think I would focus on linguistics. It’s just so delightfully complicated, and it really reveals a lot about human psychology how words and roots form--” He was speaking quickly now, a glint in his teal eyes.
“...An F?” Demyx mumbled. “But it could mean flute, but that would mean it transposes higher, and that… feels off.” He played the notes in octave. “But if it’s an S… what could it be?”
Ienzo went back to another heavy book of rooms. He snapped his fingers. “Dawn. That’s the character. So, if I’m correct at all, the first phrase is “Dawn town.” Maybe it's more like “Dawn, Town,” with a comma. Maybe it’s more of an action line. But that’s not the correct participle.”
“Daybreak Town.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Not dawn. Daybreak. The rhythm wouldn’t fit.” He played it again. “It fits with “Daybreak”.”
Ienzo’s eyes were wide. “You’re right. That’s so apt. Daybreak Town. I wonder what that is. Is it poetic license? A place? I’ve no clue.” He stood up and started poring through his books. “Perhaps there’s a reference to it in some sort of history…”
He felt weak, as though someone were jangling his brainstem. Instead of thinking about it, he watched Ienzo as he shifted from book to book, mumbling to himself. His silver hair nearly seemed to glow in the rosy fall light, and there was that unfamiliar feeling, the whisper of it, as though Demyx were being touched. His skin was just a little too warm.
“...You’ve an odd expression on your face,” Ienzo said, startling him. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, uh, fine.” He cleared his throat. “You seem pretty passionate about this kind of stuff.”
“...Passionate?” This seemed to catch him off guard. Then he nodded. “Yes. I suppose. I’ve never defined it at such, but I… I always feel most myself when I’m in my research. Making connections.”
“I know what you mean. That’s how I feel when I make my music. Like… I’m part of something worth something. Like I have…”
“Purpose,” Ienzo finished slowly. “I refuse to believe things are meaningless.”
“I find you easier to talk to than Zexion,” Demyx said. “Why is that?”
Ienzo sat down as though his body suddenly weighed twice as much. “He and I are… not the same,” he said. “Every day I’m working harder to be a better person, to make up for all of the terrible choices I’ve made. It is… exhausting.” He seemed to stare past Demyx for a moment before he seemed to come to attention. “You are different as well. I know it’s still hard to realize this.”
“The others don’t either,” he said with a shake of his head. “I just wonder how much of our Nobody selves were made of bad memories. I mean… I was a complete asshole. The way I treated Roxas--”
“It’s unfortunate there’s no way to quantify what you mean,” Ienzo said. “There must be purchase in it. If you’ve no conscience, no empathy, it’s easy to make bad decisions. Because none of it matters. I don’t want to live like that any more. Now that I’ve a choice.”
“Me either,” Demyx said lamely.
“Hopefully this research will shed some light on the past,” Ienzo said. “Shall we get back to work?”
Demyx kept dreaming.
The colors and shapes were sharpening in his mind, and they were becoming more memorable.The dreams shifted from the bright, soft, welcoming colors to orange and red dust, to monsters and swarms of Keyblades and bodies in armor, so many bodies, dead and bloodied and fading, some destroyed to the point of barely being human.
He woke up gasping, sweaty, and running for the bathroom. He barely made it to the toilet before he was sick. Weird chills made him tremble all over, and he sat for a long time rocking back and forth.
“It was just a dream,” he kept whispering. It had all felt too vivid, too detailed, to be a dream. Even if it were, what did it say about his mental state that this is what he dreamt?
Demyx found it hard to focus the rest of his day. He felt tense, unsettled; he wasn't able to eat. He kept seeing the bodies. His piano playing was listless, incorrect. He could barely see the notes. He watched Ienzo at the small work desk, his face so close to the dictionary that his hair was caught in the pages.
“...Do you ever have nightmares?” Demyx asked slowly.
Ienzo jumped. “Well… I suppose to a degree. Everyone does at some point or another. Why is it you ask?”
“I had a really bad one last night and I can’t get it out of my mind. It just… it felt so real,” he said.
Ienzo turned away from the book and leaned on one elbow. “What was it about?”
“I was in the Keyblade Graveyard.” As he said it, he realized it was true. “There were… so many bodies in armor… cut up… bleeding… completely dismembered… The Keyblades were everywhere. There was so much blood in the dirt that it was muddy, and red.” He shuddered.
Ienzo thought a long moment. “Perhaps this is a manifestation of survivor’s guilt, because you weren’t one of the true vessels, and thus, didn’t perish in battle. It’s a natural psychological response,” Ienzo said. “We internalize trauma differently as humans.”
“Trauma?” He hugged himself. “Do you think I’m traumatized?” He was probably right, but still the nightmare nagged.
Ienzo clucked his tongue. “In all likelihood, yes. I’m not qualified by any means to make that diagnosis, but considering what you’ve been through--and by extension, the rest of us--some sort of post-traumatic stress is not uncalled for.”
“I just want it to not bother me.” He felt cold and a little dizzy.
“I’m sure. If there was something I could do to help you, I would. Unfortunately, there’s no easy cure. You just must remind yourself that the pain you feel is illogical, and it will pass. The best key to these things is usually reason.”
“Always one of my strong suits,” he muttered. He looked down at the piano keys. Despite how hard he’d tried to clean it, some of the keys were still stained a pale pink with his blood.
“You just need something to center yourself,” Ienzo said. “Something you can hang onto when these moments come.”
“Do you experience the same thing?”
He smiled sadly. “For many years. Even before the Organization.”
“What happened to you?”
The conversation seemed to stop in its tracks. Ienzo tensed. He took a deep breath, and then exhaled. “You know I was very young when Ansem the Wise took me in.”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Do you know why that is?”
“I just figured you were that smart.”
“You flatter me.” He knotted his hands. “...My parents passed away when I was a child. It was… not natural.”
Demyx turned towards him. Ienzo’s desk was about an arm’s length away from the piano, which felt simultaneously too close and too far away. “Heartless?” he asked.
“No. Heartless were not as common then. There was another type of monster, one created from negative emotions. We know now that they come from Ventus’s counterpart, Vanitas. But then… they were everywhere. I was actually coming from here… this very castle… with both of my parents. It was open to the public then. And… well. There was a swarm.”
Demyx exhaled; he’d been holding his breath.
“Both of my parents passed. I only survived because Aeleus was on duty and stepped in. I’ve still got the scars.” He loosened the cravat and pulled aside his shirt. At the top of his shoulder were three slash marks the pale white color of old scars.
Without thinking, Demyx brushed his fingers across them. The scars stretched up under the nape of his neck before disappearing beneath his clothing. Ienzo flinched. “I’m sorry,” Demyx said. “I wasn’t thinking. And, um. I’m sorry about your parents, too.”
Ienzo covered up the old scars. “I don’t remember much of them, even now. But you see. When you insist I cannot understand… I understand better than you know.”
“Yes,” he said. They held eye contact for a moment too long. Demyx knotted his hands, feeling the imprint of the scars still. He felt lousy for even having thought than Ienzo wouldn’t get it. They both had experience with the darkness and everything that came with it--it was the only thing they had in common. Demyx’s face flushed. He looked away from his own hands, trying to bury the weird feeling beneath layers of score.
Ienzo glanced over at the small alarm clock. “It’s about time for me to start making dinner. You’ll join us, right?”
“Right,” he said shakily. For a long while after Ienzo left, he didn’t move.
He dreamt again that night, this time less dramatically, and more opaquely. He dreamt about hands and scars and vague feelings of longing, and kissing a nameless, faceless stranger. Somewhere between sleep and consciousness, the stranger gained a face.
Ienzo.
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Mid-Year Book Freakout Tag
1. Best Book of the Year So Far
Okay, I'm probably going to mention both of these again later in this post, but Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston and The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo are my favorite books so far this year.
2. Best Sequel of the Year So Far
...what sequels have I read this year...?
Legendary by Stephanie Garber. I still haven’t read Finale but it’s on my TBR for this season, so. SOON.
(I also want to say Dreams of Gods and Monsters by Laini Taylor, but I’m not sure if this question only applies to the second book in a series? Technically, it’s still a sequel...)
3. A New Release You Haven’t Read Yet But Want To
Both Finale by Stephanie Garber and Again, But Better by Christine Riccio. Also, I think Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins is recent enough to count. (Is Dragon Pearl by Yoon Ha Lee a new release?)
4. Most Anticipated Release for Rest of Year
This one is actually fairly easy. I can't WAIT for Wayward Son to come out in September. Also the second book in the Girls of Paper and Fire series.
5. Biggest Disappointment
Oh boy. I have three (FOUR, I have four) for this one.
I reread one of my favorite childhood books, Bad Moonlight by RL Stine, back in March for the rereadathon I took part in. ...it was so bad... Let's say it's one of the lowest ratings I've given this year.
New reads that I was disappointed in were The Upside of Unrequited and Leah on the Offbeat. I was looking forward to them so much after reading Simon, but ended up feeling pretty meh about both.
I also just remembered I read Echo, which was a sequel to a book I read and really loved, but Echo was just... it was bad...
6. Biggest Surprise
...There’s a story behind this one. I was browsing through Goodreads’ list of books with asexual characters (because I am ace) and came across The Alpha and His Ace by Ana J. Phoenix. Despite the summary and author bio making me...hesitant... I was curious about how the book was going to work out, and since it was either free or pretty cheap on Kindle, I decided to give it a go. And was actually pleasantly surprised. I’ll share my Goodreads review below:
It's always nice to end up liking a book when you weren't sure you were going to. I ended up loving it. I thought the story was really cute, and as someone who identifies as asexual, I really connected with Aidan. Not to say that there weren't a few problems I had while reading, but none of them were major enough for me to stop reading, and I ended up enjoying it enough to read the sequel as well.
7. New Favorite Author
I finally read some of Taylor Jenkin Reid’s books and I totally get the hype! I loved them!
8. Your Newest Favorite Character
...This is an unfair question. I’m going to go with the entire crew from Red, White, and Royal Blue. And Kady Grant and Hanna Donelly from the Illuminae Files. (This is probably going to come back to bite me but I really liked AIDAN, too...)
9. Your Newest Fictional Crush
I...don't really get fictional crushes? At least, not anymore. I used to, but not for a while.
10. Book that Made You Cry
I think I already answered this question on another tag so I want to use a different answer this time...
Oh! The Poet X had me SOBBING by the end because I related so much to Xiomara and what she was going through. I loved that she got an ending where everything worked out for her.
11. Book That Made You Happy
RED, WHITE, AND ROYAL BLUE. I honestly can’t remember the last time a book made me this happy.
12. Most Beautiful Book of the Year So Far
...Are we talking cover or content here...?
I usually try to avoid buying physical copies of books in series, but I went out and bought a copy of Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan just because I loved the cover so much.
13. Some Books You Need to Read Before 2019 Ends
See #3 (and #4) for some specific titles. Add in my current library books, Gemina and Obsidio by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff, and Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. Other than that, my goal is half (about 7) of the unread books on my shelf, and... let's say a quarter (about 20) of the unread books on my Nook (which actually includes 2/3 of the books mentioned in #3).
...might be a little ambitious there, Moony.
14. Favorite Book to Movie Adaptation
Um. Um?
I don't know if I've actually seen any movie adaptions this year. Unless... Comic books? Does it count if I haven't read them?
...I really loved the Captain Marvel movie.
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Yearly Wrap Up: 2018
Sorry this post is so late, it took awhile to get all the information I needed and I kept going back and forth on the format I wanted to do for this post, but I finally have an end result I am happy with. In this post I will be going over all the books I read in 2018, all the stats, completion of 2018 reading goals as well as 2019 reading goals. Also fair warning, this is going to be a long post. So to begin with I'll talk about my 2018 reading goals and of I was able to accomplish them. This year was the first year that I did the Goodreads Challenge, I thought it would be good to see how many books I could read in a year. My initial goal was 50 books and I ended up reading 80 books, so I was definitely able to tackle my Goodreads goal. Unfortunately that was the only reading challenge I was able to finish. One of my reading resolutions for 2018 was to finish a reading challenge and I did that with the Goodreads one, but I also did the PopSugar 2018 Reading Challenge. That one provided a large number of reading prompts that I hoped would help expand the genre of the books I was reading (which was another reading resolution of mine) and of the 50 prompts I was only able to complete 34, which is not bad, it's more than half, but I still wanted to complete all of them. As I mentioned I wanted to expand the genre of books that I read, since I mostly read YA fantasy, and I do think I achieved that goal by trying to read more adult fantasy, science fiction, different fantasy sub genre's, and a few books in other genres, but I will go more into that when I do a break down of all the books I read this year. I also wanted to go to more book events and that did not really happen. I only went to 1 this year and the rest I was unable to go to for various reasons, so I need to get better with planning in order to go to more events this year. I did want to be more active in the book community and I definitely think I achieved that, with providing regular posts and book reviews. I was originally going to do a channel on YouTube but I suck with editing software and I honestly prefer writing. Finally my #1 resolution for 2018 was to tackle all the books in my physical TBR, with books from 2017 and 2018, I was able to narrow down my overflowing basket to just 5 books. Since I now have a rule where I have to read 10 books before I buy a new one (holiday's are an exception) I'll probably have the rest of those books read by the end of 2019, so that all new books in my TBR pile will all be from 2019. Now that I've summarized my status on all my reading goals for 2018, I'm now going to start going into the actual books. I'll begin by listing all the books I've read and putting them in different groups based on their star ratings. Then I'm going to go into the statistics of all the books, like genre, authors, status, and other things.
Ratings:
5 Star Books: These are without a doubt my favorite books of the year, the cream of the crop, and some of them are possibly my new favorite books or series of all time.
A Natural History of Dragons (Memoirs of Lady Trent #1) by Marie Brennan, The Tropic of Serpents (Memoirs of Lady Trent) by Marie Brennan, The Tethered Mage (Swords and Fire #1) by Melisa Caruso, The Defiant Heir (Swords and Fire #2) by Melisa Caruso, East by Edith Pattou, The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu, Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children #1) by Seanan McGuire, Beneath the Sugar Sky (Wayward Children #3) by Seanan McGuire, The Star Touched Queen (Star Touched Queen #1) by Roshani Chokshi, Crown of Wishes (Star Touched Queen #2) by Roshani Chokshi, The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet (Wayfarers #1) by Becky Chambers
4.5 Star Books: These are the books that I did really love and couldn't find much fault with but I couldn't fully connect to the story (would still recommend all).
A Closed and Common Orbit (Wayfarers #2) by Becky Chambers, Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, The Shadow Queen (Ravenspire #1) by C.J. Redwine, The Voyage of the Basilisk (Memoirs of Lady Trent #3) by Marie Brennan, Rosemary and Rue (October Daye #1) by Seanan McGuire, The Call by Peadar O'Guilin, Robots vs Fairies
4 Star Books: This one is a bit split because some are books that are solidly 4 stars and lean more toward the 4.5 star rating, and other were saved by a fantastic ending from a 3.5 star rating. There are things that could have been improved on within the story but overall I enjoyed reading all of them.
Beauty Queens by Libba Bray, Down Among the Sticks and Bones (Wayward Children #2) by Seanan McGuire, Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi, Vivian Apple at the End of the World (Vivian Apple #1) by Katie Coyle, A Great and Terrible Beauty (Gemma Doyle #1), Ice Like Fire (Snow Like Ashes #2) by Sara Raasch, Frost Like Night (Snow Like Ashes #3) by Sara Raasch, Uppity Women Speak Their Minds by Vicki Leon, Invisible Planets translated by Ken Liu, In the Labyrinth of Drakes (Memoirs of Lady Trent #4) by Marie Brennan, Record of a Spaceborn Few (Wayfarers #3) by Becky Chambers, Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone (Harry Potter #1) by J.K Rowling, Tales of the Peculiar by Ransom Riggs, Code Name Verity (Code Name Verity #1) by Elizabeth Wein, The Silk Roads: A New History of the World by Peter Frankopan
3.5 Star Books: This is a bit of an unusual rating because it usually means that I was expecting to be disappoint by these books, and while there were still issues that I couldn't ignore, I surprisingly enjoyed.
The Registry (The Registry #1) by Shannon Stoker, Caliban's War (The Expanse #2) by James S.A. Corey, Snow Like Ashes (Snow Like Ashes #1) by Sara Raasch, You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo
3 Star Books: These were books that I thought were decent, but they had flaws in them that I was unable to over look.
A Court of Wings and Ruin (A Court of Thorns and Roses #1) by Sarah J. Maas, Walk on Earth a Stranger (Gold Seer #1) by Rae Carson, Like a River Glorious (Gold Seer #2) by Rae Carson, Children of Blood and Bone (Legacy of Orisha) by Tomi Adeyemi, An Unkindness of Magicians by Kat Howard, After: 19 Stories of Dystopian and Apocalypse, Illuminae (The Illuminae Files) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff, The Wrath and the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn #1) by Renee Ahdieh, Uprooted by Naomi Novik, Red Sister (Book of the Ancestor #1) by Mark Lawerence, Sabriel (The Abhorsen #1) by Garth Nix, Monstress Volume 3: The Blood by Marjorie Liu, The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, Nightfall by Jake Halpern and Peter Kujawinski
2.5 Star Books: These are books that I had a lot of issues with but were redeemable enough that I would still give them a try.
The Collection (The Registry #2) by Shannon Stoker, Three Dark Crowns (Three Dark Crowns #1) by Kendare Blake, Dreams of Gods and Monsters (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #3) by Laini Taylor, The Bone Witch (The Bone Witch #1) by Rin Chupeco
2 Star Books: These are books that I had lot of issues with but it didn't upset me enough to make me want to quit it. These books and downward I personally wouldn't recommend reading, but that's just my opinion.
Princesses Behaving Badly by Linda Rodrigez McRobbie, Days of Blood and Starlight (Daughter of Smoke and Bone #2) by Laini Taylor, Vivian Apple Needs a Miracle (Vivian Apple #2) by Katie Coyle, The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking Trilogy #1) by Patrick Ness, Leviathan Wakes (The Expanse #1) by James S.A. Corey, Bitterblue (Graceling #3) by Kristin Cashore, Sandry's Book (Circle of Magic #1) by Tamora Pierce, Lirael (Abhorsen #2) by Garth Nix, Torn (The Unraveled Kingdom #1) by Rowena Miller, Into the Bright Unknown (Gold Seer #3) by Rae Carson, Front Lines by Michael Grant, American God's by Neil Gaiman, The Falconer (The Falconer #1) by Elizabeth May
1 Star Books: These, sadly, are the bottom of the barrel. I had a hard time finding good qualities with these books and some of them I got so frustrated by I ended up quiting them.
The Wicked and the Divine Volume 1: The Faust Act, Our Dark Duet (Monsters of Verity #2) by Victoria Schwab, Truthwitch (The Witchlands #1) by Susan Dennard, Rebel Angels (Gemma Doyle #2) (DNF) by Libba Bray, The Virgin Suicides by Jeffery Eugenides, Under the Never Sky (Under the Never Sky #1) by Veroncia Rossi, The Library at Mount Char (DNF) by Scott Hawkins, Daughters of the Storm (Blood and Gold #1) (DNF) by Kim Wilkins, The Legend of Holly Claus by Brittney Ryan, Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch #1)(DNF) by Ann Leckie (I didn't hate this book, it was just too weird and confusing to carry on)
Statistics:
This is the part where I'll break down authors (gender and ethnicity), status (finished or not finished, companion, stanalone, special cases), and genre of the books.
AUTHORS: (Not counting anthologies with multiple authors, also series counts as one)
Male: 16
Female: 42
White: 48
POC: 10
STATUS:
Finished (If the book was part of a series that ended than had a companion series follow it, I'm still counting that as a finished series, also I'm counting anything 2 or more books as a series): 8 (A Court of Thorns and Roses, Gold Seer, Monsters of Verity, Daughter of Smoke and Bone, Vivian Apple, Snow Like Ashes, Ignite Me)
Unfinished and Completed (Unfinished means that I haven't finished reading the series, uncompleted means that all the books in the series haven't been released yet): 12 (Gemma Doyle (won't be completing), The Knife of Never Letting Go (won't be completing), The Wrath and the Dawn (won't be completing), The Facloner (won't be completing), Under the Never Sky (won't be completing), Abhorsen, Memoirs of Lady Trent, Imperial Radch (won't be completing), Harry Potter, Front Lines (won't be completing), The Registry, Circle of Magic (won't be completing))
Unfinished and Uncompleted: 10 (Legacy of Orisha, The Witchlands (won't be completing), The Bone Witch (won't be completing), The Expanse, Swords and Fire, Book of the Ancestor (won't be completing), The Unraveled Kingdoms, Three Dark Crowns (won't be completing), October Daye, Blood and Gold (won't be completing))
Companion series: 8 (Wayfarers, Wayward Children, Star Touched Queen, The Illuminae Files, Code Name Verity, Graceling, Nightfall, Ravenspire)
Stand Alone (includes non fiction): 13 (Princesses Behaving Badly, Beauty Queens, An Unkindness of Magicians, Uprooted, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Uppity Women Speak Their Minds, The Virgin Suicides, The Silk Roads: A New History of the World, You Are A Badass, The Library at Mount Char, American Gods, The Red Tent, The Legend of Holly Claus)
Anthologies/ Short Story Collections: 6 (After: 19 Stories of Apocalypse and Dystopia, The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories, Robots Vs Fairies, Invisible Planets, Tales of the Peculiar, The Language of Thorns)
Comics/ Graphic Novels: 2 (Monstress Vol 3: The Blood and the Wicked and the Divine Vol 1: The Faust Act)
Special cases (Special cases are for books that I'm leaving as a self contained standalone even though they have a sequel): 2 (East by Edith Pattou, The Call by Peadar O'Guilin)
GENRE: I'm going based off of where these books are shelved in stores, even if I don't agree with some of them.
YA: 44
Adult: 33
Fantasy: 42 (A Court of Wings and Ruin (Epic fantasy/ Romance)(YA), Every Heart a Doorway (Portal fantasy/ Contemporary fantasy/ Mystery)(A), Down Among the Sticks and Bones (Gothic fantasy/ Mythic fantasy)(A), Beneath the Sugar Sky (Portal fantasy)(A), Walk on Earth a Stranger (Historical fantasy)(YA), Like a River Glorious (Historical fantasy/ Romance)(YA), Into the Bright Unknown (Historical fantasy/ Romance)(YA), A Crown of Wishes (Epic fantasy)(YA), Day's of Blood and Starlight (Epic fantasy/ Portal fantasy)(YA), Dreams of God's and Monsters (Portal fantasy/ Epic fantasy)(YA), Children of Blood and Bone (Epic fantasy)(YA), Truthwitch (Epic fantasy/ Romance), A Great and Terrible Beauty (Historical fantasy/ Portal fantasy)(YA), Rebel Angels (Historical fantasy/ Portal fantasy/ Romance)(YA), The Bone Witch (Epic fantasy/ Romance) (YA), The Wrath and the Dawn (Retelling/ Romance/ Historical fantasy)(YA), East (Retelling/ Historical fantasy/ Romance)(YA), The Falconer (Historical fantasy, Steampunk, Romance)(YA), Uprooted (Epic fantasy/ Retelling)(A), Tales of the Peculiar (Fairy tales/ Short stories)(YA), The Tethered Mage (Epic fantasy/ Mystery)(A), The Defiant Heir (Epic fantasy)(A), The Library at Mount Char (Urban fantasy), Circle of Magic: Sandry's Book (Children's fantasy)(YA), Sabriel (Epic fantasy/ Gothic fantasy)(YA), Lirael (Epic fantasy/ Gothic fantasy)(YA), The Star Touched Queen (Retelling/ Romance/ Epic fantasy)(YA), Nightfall (Thriller/ Low fantasy)(YA), Monstress (Epic fantasy/ Horror/ Comic)(A), The Wicked and the Divine (Urban fantasy/ Mythology/ Comic)(YA), Torn (Romance/ Epic fantasy)(A), Three Dark Crowns (Epic fantasy/ Gothic fantasy/ Romance)(YA), Rosemary and Rue (Urban fantasy/ Mystery)(A), A Natural History of Dragons (Fantasy of Manners)(A), The Tropic of Serpents (Fantasy of Manners)(A), The Voyage of the Basilisk (Fantasy of Manners)(A), In the Labyrinth of Drakes (Romance/ Fantasy of Manners)(A), American Gods (Urban fantasy)(A), Daughters of the Storm (Epic fantasy)(A), The Shadow Queen (Retelling)(YA), The Legend of Holly Claus (Juevnile fantasy)(YA), The Language of Thorns (Retelling/ Short Stories)(YA)
Science Fiction: 10 (The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet (Soft SF)(A), A Closed and Common Orbit (Soft SF/ Biopunk)(A), Record of a Spaceborn Few (Soft SF/ Generation Ships)(A), Leviathan Wakes (Space Opera/ Crime Noir/ Alien Invasion)(A), Caliban's War (Space Opera/ Alien Invasion)(A), Invisible Planets (Anthologies/ Translated/ Soft SF/ Hard SF)(A), Ancillary Justice (Hard SF/ Space Opera)(A), Under the Never Sky (Survival/ Romance)(YA), The Knife of Never Letting Go (Survival/ Alien)(YA), Illuminae (Survival/ Soft SF/ Cyberpunk)(YA)
Science Fantasy: 3 (contains magic and technology): 3 (The Paper Menagerie (Short stories)(A), Robots vs Fairies (Anthologies)(A), Red Sister (Grim dark fantasy/ Epic fantasy)(A))
Dystopian/ Post Apocalypse: 8 (survival's the name of the game): Our Dark Duet (urban fantasy/ post apocalyptic)(YA), Vivian Apple at the End of the World (Contemporary/ apocalyptic)(YA), Vivian Apple Needs a Miracle (Contemporary/ apocalyptic)(YA), After (Anthology/ dystopian/ apocalyptic), The Registry (Dystopia/ Action)(YA), The Collection (Dystopia)(YA), Ignite Me (Dystopian/ Science fiction/ Romance)(YA), The Call (Contemporary fantasy/ Portal fantasy/ Horror/ Apocalyptic)(YA))
Literary Fiction (lacks magic or new technology): 6 (Beauty Queens (Contemporary/ Satire)(YA), Code Name Verity (Historical fiction)(YA), Jonathan Livingston Seagull (Philosophical fiction)(A), The Virgin Suicides (Contemporary)(A), Front Lines (Alternate history/ historical)(YA), The Red Tent (Historical/ Biblical fiction)(A), The Giving Tree (Poetry)(YA))
Non Fiction: 4 (Princesses Behaving Badly, The Silk Roads: A New History of the World, Uppity Women Speak Their Minds, You Are a Badass)
2019 Goals:
I did a T5W outlining my 2019 reading goals, and I promised I would talk about them more in this post. So I'm going to conclude my Yearly Wrap Up post by discussing what I hope to accomplish in my 2019 reading year. For starters I have a goal that I'm carrying over from 2018 and that is to read a wider genre of books. I wanted to accomplish this last year, but going into 2019 I have a better idea of what specific genre's I would like to try more of. This year I really started to transition from YA fantasy to Adult fantasy, but I haven't given up on YA yet. I want to try some YA contemporary and magical realism, but as of right now I only have specific picks in mind for this. I want to read more historical fiction and historical fantasy, like the Golem and the Jinni. I enjoy reading about settings from different time periods, especially if they have magical elements, I just need to be careful about finding books that don't get heavy handed with a crappy romance. I want to read more science fiction, specifically Adult Science fiction, since I haven't come across a YA science fiction that intrigues me. I'm sill trying to learn what exactly I like in science fiction, but I know I like character driven stories, like Becky Chamber's series. I knew I would like to attempt the New Weird and Hard science fiction genre's but at the same time I'm a little intimidated by them. I also want to get back into literary fiction, including adult dystopian's and classics. I used to have no problem reading classics and would read 1 or 2 a month, then I just got burned out by it, but I want to pick up that genre again. In terms of fantasy, I still expect that to be the genre that I read the most of put there are still some things I would like out of 2019. I've already said that I'm leaning more toward Adult fantasy and wanting to read more historical fantasy, but I would also like to read more fantasy standalone's. That's something I wanted to do in 2018 but sadly did not find any new ones that I really loved. I also want to read more anthologies or short story collections, in any genre really, because that was something that I discovered that I really liked in 2018 and want more of. The next reading goal I want to accomplish in 2019 is to complete is to finish at least 5 series. For this I'm counting anything that is 3 books or more as a series. I finished 7 series in 2018 but 2 of those were duologies, and I feel like those are super easy to finish. There are several series that I started I won't be completing or the series isn't completed yet. Fortunately most of the series that aren't completed yet I already know I'm not going to continue, and the rest are either being completed this year or have a large number of books that I need to get through for me to catch up with the series. With that being said there are at least 3 series that I will definitely be finishing this year: the Memoirs of Lady Trent, The Registry, and the Swords and Fire series, and I have also already completed one series, so this is goal I can definitely tackle by the end of the year, maybe even half way through the year. Something else I want to accomplish this year was to go to at least two book events, but that's going to be difficult to do. Most of the bigger book events or conventions, are over 8 hours away. I could also attend book signing events but all of the others that I want signatures from are either not doing events or are doing ones not within a close driving distance for me. That might change as the year progresses, but for now I'm not expecting to be able to accomplish this goal and will instead invest my time in completing a reading challenge, which I was not able to accomplish this year. Another goal for 2019 is to read more diverse books. I want to read more books with POC people as POV characters, or disabled characters, or on the LGBTQ spectrum. I think I've been progressively getting better about that over the years but where I really want to focus on is more diverse authors. As you can see from the statistics section my reading from last year was heavily skewed toward white authors. I want to change that and work toward at least having more POC authors, and almost all the brand new books on my TBR pile are from POC authors and I'm excited to get to most of them (although all authors I've read this year so far are Caucasian). I would also like to read more books by authors that are diverse in other ways beside their ethnicity but it's more difficult to identify those things. Like last year there's only a few couple authors that I'm pretty sure qualify in that way, but I'm not absolutely sure. My final reading major reading goal of 2019 is to get through half of my reread TBR pile. About half way through last year, I decided to go through all my books that I hadn't tabbed and reread them. I wanted to do this for a few reasons. I have a small bookshelf and large container and that's about all the room I have for books, including my non fiction ones. As I read more new books and find new series that I enjoy, that means that there will need to be more room. So rereading books will hopefully help me be able to tell which books I should keep and which ones I should give away. I also want to reread all these books in order to better review them and have a fresh opinion of them. At the beginning of this year I have about 50 books, and I know I'm not going to get through them all this year, so I set a more realistic goal with tackling half of my TBR which would be about 25 books. The last thing I want to talk about is the reading challenge's I'm currently participating in. On Goodreads I have set the yearly amount of books I read to 50. That was my goal last year, and I ended up reading 80 books, so I think setting it at 50 again is something I can manage. I'm also doing the PopSugar 2019 Reading Challenge, which I tried to do last year but failed to complete. How I want to accomplish that this year is by always reading a book that is can be applied to one of the prompts, that way I'm knocking out these prompts as quickly as possible. The last reading challenge I'm doing is a group on Goodreads called The Reading Frenzy, which I joined toward the end of last year. They have several monthly reading challenges, but this year it has been announced that every month there will be a pick my TBR Reading Challenge, which means every month you will be randomly matched with a person, and will pick one book for the other to read that month. I look forward to doing this, just because I like that random element to it, and this will help my slim down my Goodreads TBR (as long as I can get a physical copy of the book). So that sums up my 2018 reading year as well as what all I hope to accomplish in 2019. I look froward to it, and hopefully it's going to be a good year for everyone.
Thank You Everyone
Keep Calm and Keep Reading
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If you have the time and if you don't mind, what are some books you really recommend? Doesn't have to be all time faves, but anything that pops into mind that you want more ppl to read and love, Extra points if lgbt+ , i got the whole summer with little to do and i wanna spend it reading some good quality writing and honestly so far your recs have introduced me to so many faves its unbelievable
[blushes profusely] oh wow, thank you!!! i’m so glad you’ve trusted me enough to check out some of the stuff i reblog; that is like the ultimate compliment, i can’t even??? i don’t mind at all(!), fair warning though: i only started recording what i read partway through last year and my mind is like a sieve so i’ll do my absolute best to remember what’s sang to me in the recent past. warning number two: i’m in an open relationship with absolutely every genre out there so i’ll try to note which belongs where so you can avoid those that hold no interest for you.
LGBT+
i’ll give you the sun. i loved this book, the writing is fucking transformative and all the characters are so damn likable, while still being realistically flawed human beings.
the raven cycle (tetralogy). definitely my favorite series since harry potter. the writing, the world-building, the characters, it’s all on top-form. i wrote a little, mini non-spoilery review of it: here, back when i was better (worse?) wordly-wise and my feels were brand new.
more happy than not. i’m still not sure how i feel about this book. it was hard, but it felt very true to the characters and the lingo and style matched the ages of the players and i have a lot of respect for that.
the watchmaker of filigree street. woooow i loved this book. i admit ‘historical fiction’ kind of makes me cringe. it never precludes me from reading a book but it does knock it down the list by a book or five because they’re often very dense and very clunky and end up taking me ages to get through. but this one was gorgeous. i loved the plot, the attention lovingly placed on every character and the historical elements. the surprise gay in an already brilliant book felt like winning the lottery honestly.
captive prince (trilogy). okay, truthfully, i’m only putting this on here because the second book is such a high point for me. it was never bad at any point but it had unfortunately been hyped far too much for it to live up to my, admittedly, very high expectations. hopefully it’ll fare better with you?
everything i never told you. i go back and forth on this one. i like the writing a lot, i like the LGBT aspect a lot, and i like the mystery aspect a lot but there are definitely characters i would cut out entirely for sheer predictability if i could and that killed a lot of my enjoyment at the time (but i think much more highly of it in retrospect?). so, take that as you like.
aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe. if there’s a book that handles its characters with more care or respect or consideration then i haven’t run into it. i love the way this is written and the people it’s populated with.
flying lessons & other stories. a bunch of uber talented authors writing a bunch of uber diverse and LGBT-focused stories and, yes, that is exactly as awesome as it sounds.
the song of achilles. it is utterly heart-breaking but so rich, honestly.
FANTASY
the diviners. (also has a minor LGBT character, who may play a bigger role in the sequel?) fair warning, i have not read the sequel, lair of dreams, because it is somehow still not out in paperback (yes, i read physical books, yes, i pretty exclusively read paperbacks so i can lug them everywhere with me, YES, I PRE-ORDERED THIS ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO AND IT’S STILL NOT OUT, NOT THAT I’M BITTER ABOUT THAT OR ANYTHING) so i can’t speak to that one finishing on a high note as i don’t know. but this was the first historical novel i managed to like in a long while. it does such a good job of fusing in 1920s lingo and dress and aspects that i couldn’t help but love it. add in the fantasy elements and i can admit i’m the perfect sucker for it.
the scorpio races. i’m not sure why but it took me a long-ass time to get into this book, i wasn’t flipping pages with gusto until well towards the end but - especially as i was reading so much YA at the time - i really appreciated coming across a romance that lets both people come into it as themselves and stay themselves, neither puck nor sean were ever smashed or crumpled or shaved away to fit into their relationship, which was so refreshing. plus the water horses were fucking cool.
the night circus. the writing, the atmosphere, the circus. just… it is all very whoa.
all the birds in the sky. i loved this writing style and these characters and the magical elements.
CONTEMPORARY
i’ll meet you there. there was something about this and i just… ended up liking it way more than i expected to. i might’ve just read it at exactly the right time, i’m not sure, but i really enjoyed it.
the invoice. this is honestly just hella cute and so freaking surreal. swedes, man.
NON-FICTION
why not me? i like mindy kaling a lot. i make no apologies for that. plus you can read both her books in about five seconds, haha.
SCIENCE FICTION
station eleven. i loved this book. the way the narrative is woven is so refreshing and i wish the comic book miranda was writing in this book was a real thing more than anything else in the woooorld.
illuminae. hot DAMN this book was cool. the plot was rock solid, the characters were hilarious and badass and the graphics made out of text and spiraling words and just the way this thing is put together? shit, it’s worth your money and then some.
a robot in the garden. okay this is just cute as hell. i can’t even with tang, he’s the most adorable robot to ever adorable.
annihilation (southern reach trilogy). (LGBT minor characters.) okay, honestly? i don’t know. this was freaking zany but i was invested as fuck in all the kookiness for reasons i can’t articulately elaborate on.
the martian. hilarious, engaging, SPACE. what more do you want?
HORROR
things we lost in the fire. this is more atmospheric than anything but, damn, could this get me wishing i wasn’t reading this in the dark or looking over my shoulder to make absolutely sure no one was standing behind me. it’s a book of short stories (by the way, i love books of short stories and i definitely realize that is not true for everyone) and each one is so well-delivered and stylized. i really enjoyed reading this.
let the right one in. okay, this is legit horror so definitely stay away if you’re easily squicked out but it is harrrrrd to find good horror (at least in my opinion) and this definitely, definitely qualifies.
horrorstör. i honestly had such low expectations for this, a horror story set in a wannabe-ikea, but it ended up being so ridiculous and strange and funny that i was won over by the finish.
the girl with all the gifts. holy unique and well-executed zombie idea, batman!
SHORT STORIES
the bigness of the world. there were definitely ones here that hit better than others but the ones i liked, i really liked!
GRAPHIC NOVELS (i read a lot of these so, um, prepare yourself)
saga. (LGBT minor characters as well.) this is world-building to a degree that i’m convinced did not exist before. just, i can’t say enough amazing things about this series and the staggering amount of imagination that regularly goes into it.
ms. marvel. heart-warming as fuck. it’s definitely really easy to lose faith in the world these days, luckily kamala is there to remind you that people are primarily and genuinely good.
black science. this is another one that took just an insane amount of imagination to cook up. i got off to kind of a rocky start with this one but the gray-ness of all the characters really speaks to me, and that doesn’t really blossom until later in the series.
spider-man/deadpool. this was very satisfying for my super duper spideypool-shipping mind. joe and ed did us so good, and joe basically said in his sign-off: i made it absolutely as gay as they would let me, haha.
the wicked + the divine. (LGBT minor characters that you’re going to get way too attached to, and retroactively. it’s awful [sobs].) the concept for this, gods reincarnating into teenagers before they burn up their hosts after a predetermined set of time, is so fucking cool. the humor and the characters and the plot is all just aces.
iceman (LGBT MAIN CHARACTER). okay, so this just started. like issue #2 was only released days ago but 1) i am liking it so far and 2) marvel did it so dirty and barely advertised bobby - an openly homosexual superhero - was getting his own series, like, i found out about it the day before it went on sale and i keep my ear fairly close to the ground (not as close as some BY A LOT, but closer than the lay person i’d say) so if you can support it, please do! pre-orders mean a lot in terms of numbers. :))))
descender. admittedly, this starts out rooough. because the main character, TIM-21 (and his little dog too), are annoying as hell. he’s an android so there’s no dimension to him so he’s booooring as all get out but i am so glad i stuck with it through to the next trade because, probably picking up on the unsustainability of him as a main character, he gets shuffled off and the side characters get the stage and they rock so hard.
paper girls. (LGBT main characters.) i’m kind of just convinced that brian k. vaughan can do no wrong at this point. his plots are so tight and mind-blowing and badass.
monstress. here’s a little tid-bit about me: female comic book writers are 100% more likely to get my money and my time because they are so damn rare and this series is unique, badass, and eye-opening.
black monday murders. i’m a little premature with this since there’s only one volume and i usually try to wait until there are at least two but i check up on a volume two a lot so that definitely means something intrigued me!
nailbiter. okay, i haven’t read the final volume yet ‘cause i’m reluctant to let it go but, so far, a series about multiple serial killers all being from the same town has me VERY HOOKED.
i wish i could remember more but this is honestly way better than i expected to do, haha. they’re definitely not all my all-time faves but they’re ones that have stuck with me for one reason or another and that i didn’t feel i wasted my time on, so that’s something, right? i hope this helps get you started and that you don’t think too awfully of me when you inevitably run across ones that aren’t your cup of tea!
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Project Phoenix Chapter 14
The Routine
The Manifestation || The Power Play || The Green-Eyed Fly || The Middle of The Night || The Alternative || The Attic || The House || The God of Mischief || The Kill || The Night || The Collar || The Training || The Week Without A God of Mischief
Summary: Kate’s a normal teenage Midgardian girl; except there’s a Loki in her attic, and now S.H.I.E.L.D.’s after her, and also, she has powers. Apparently, she’s meant to save the world.
She just wanted to finish school and maybe fall in love—at least she’s accomplishing one of those.
Relationships: Gen, F/M (Loki/Original Female Character)
Rating: M (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Underage if you squint bit—nothing occurs while characters are underage, Sexual Content)
Mood: Timelapse, Illumina Anthology
The heavy feeling of sleep weighed on her. Kate barely noticed the slight nudge she received.
“Kate,” the voice said. It was silky.
Kate groaned. “Saturday,” she grumbled.
“Well, I beg your pardon, I thought you’d want to see me.”
Kate did her best to crack open her eyes. Above her head lay a lean face with cheekbones like no other. She smiled, desperately dragging herself out of sleep. She lazily raised her arms. “Hug me.”
Leanna laughed, half-picking-up her upper body to allow her sister to hug her.
Kate smiled. “How’s college?”
“Difficult.”
“How’s the significant other?”
Leanna dropped her back on the bed and Kate sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. When she finished the little ritual, Leanna had her hand held out. Kate looked down and saw a ring, pretty and golden with a small diamond in the center. A smile spread across her entire face. She squealed a little. “Congratulations!”
Leanna laughed and smiled. “We were taking a walk around campus one night, and he took me into a gazebo with little lights and proposed, and it was the most romantic thing ever.”
“Have you started planning yet?”
“We’re going to wait until after I graduate to really start the planning so I’ll hopefully have more of a solidified job. James said he wants to marry me, so he put a ring on it in case we ever get in a fight.”
“That’s kinda adorable.”
“I know.”
Kate giggled with her sister, aware of the shadow looming by the closet. She got out of bed, stretched, and expanded her mind. She’d gotten better at it through the week and could not do it while also focusing on something else. Can training wait?
She heard Loki sigh in her mind. Of course.
Thank you.
Leanna and her went downstairs, Jake not bothering to get up because it was so early. Loki had receeded after their little exchange, and Kate didn’t feel him following her, so she relaxed. “Since you’re apparently a master of romance, could you give me some advice?”
Leanna cooed. “Who’s the boy?”
Kate bit her lip nervously. “He’s a bit older, and we met online—”
Leanna cut her off with a wave of her hand. “He’s a predator.”
Kate set to making breakfast. “No, we’ve video chatted, and I’ve even met his mom briefly. He’s who he says he is.”
“Okay, and?”
“I dunno. I’m just emotion-ing, and I’m not used to something other than numb, and then I met him, and it’s not all numb all the time.”
Her eyebrow rose as she grabbed one of the waffles from the box and ate of frozen. “What kind of emotions?”
Kate gave her a look and began to toast her own waffles. “I can’t tell whether its anxiety or butterflies. They feel the same.”
“Both?”
Kate shrugged.
“How old is he?”
“Eighteen…”
Leanna’s eyes went wide. “Kate, oh my gosh!”
“What?”
“That’s two years older than you!”
“And? How old is James?”
“We’re adults.”
Kate gave her sister another look. “Uh-huh.”
A comfortable silence settled over them. “I like your hair.”
Kate smiled, playing with it. “Oh, thanks. I got it done a few days ago at the salon after my shift.” She almost began to believe herself. After a week’s worth of nothing, she could believe it had all been a dream.
Leanna had gone out for lunch with a few friends from home. Kate ventured back up to her room and shut the door behind her. Jake had left at some point, she noticed, as she closed the curtains and looked around. She could not find the God of Mischief. “Loki?”
Something roughly grabbed her by the back of the head, yanking her by the hair so she was looking up at Loki’s angry face. In his hand, he had a foot-long chunk of hair still tied by a rubber band. About eight inches of it were brown, but the rest was a pure silverish-white.
He spoke through gritted teeth. “What did you do?”
He outright reaction was to hide, run and hide, but she smothered it and met his rage. “I got it done at the salon?” She hadn’t meant to phrase it as a question.
His grip was starting to hurt. “Lies,” he hissed. Loki let go of her head, shoving her so hard she almost fell.
“What the hell, man?!” Kate exclaimed, holding her head where he had grabbed her hair so roughly and praying he hadn’t ripped any of it out. As far as she could tell, her hair was alright.
Loki stormed a few feet, and Kate hoped the barrier was still keeping others from overhearing any of their goings-on. If not, she would have to weave quite the lie. “Did I give you permission to use seiðr without me near?”
Kate scoffed. The fear was gone now, replaced by a temper Kate hoped could match his. “I didn’t know it was a privilege, Your Highness.”
He whirled around, his lip twitching. “Yes, girl, it is a privilege to use seiðr. Do you know how few are able to? How few Asgardians are able to, let alone mortals? Do you know what danger you put yourself in?”
Much to her chagrin, Kate shrank away. What had she done? “Apparently not.” He voice dripped venom. “Why don’t you educate me?”
Loki took a deep breath. “Were you near any cameras?”
He’s worried about that? “No, I wasn’t. I made sure to cover them up before I attempted anything.”
“Good.” Kate could practically feel him patting her atop the head. Perhaps he actually was via sending out some sort of ghost hand. “I must keep you safe.”
Kate raised her eyebrows. “You’re the one who made me have powers.” She didn’t need anyone to ‘keep her safe.’
“You already had them, I merely awoke them.” And just like that, his fury had disappeared. He vexed Kate, just turning emotion on and off like that. “Now, take up a fighting stance.”
“Why?”
“I am going to teach you hand-to-hand combat.”
Kate didn’t know any actual hand-to-hand combat other than what she’d seen while watching The Karate Kid. She took a stance, and Loki frowned.
“Pivot your left foot slightly—no, the other way—now, move your right forward slightly; place your left foot back where I told you. Raise your hands a bit and space them out more. A little more—less than that. Stop! That’s perfect.”
“It feels more uncomfortable than perfect.”
“I suppose you’ll just have to deal with a little discomfort, now, won’t you, little Kitten?”
“We’re starting that again?”
He smiled a sly smile. “Oh, would you like me to call you something else? How about smár Ketlingr?”
Kate gave him a look. “Is that just your version of ‘little kitten?’”
She could have sworn she saw him smile genuinely. “You’re getting better at figuring out my native tongue.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “You didn’t insult me, you said a word, then said it in another language. That’s easy.”
He scoffed. “Very well. I won’t compliment you.”
Her lip rose. “Am I gonna do anything or just stay like this?”
Loki looked down at her. “Well, while we were talking, you lowered your hands. I could very easily punch you in the nose at the moment.”
“You could do that anyway.”
“I suppose you are correct.”
Kate’s mood had soured due to his outburst. She’d been excited to feel that cold rush ripple through her body, but now all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and not exist for a little while. She’d forgotten just how terrifying he was.
It took most of the afternoon for Kate to figure out how to channel her emotion. Loki had to lend some of his own anger—she didn’t even want to know how he did that—and she was able to shoot a few icicles into the target.
He had been right; it wasn’t long before he stopped siphoning his power, and Kate was exhausted. She flopped down on her bed and sighed. Sweat moistened her back, and she almost wanted to take her shirt off—just let the cool air conditioning be on her skin. He, in comparison, looked completely unhindered.
“Hey, Loki?”
“Yes, mortal?”
She blinked and stared absent-mindedly at the ceiling. “You tried to take over the world, right?”
“Yes, mortal.”
“So, why aren’t you in prison?”
Kate heard him sigh. “Must I remind you I am called silvertongue?”
“Apparently.”
A content silence fell over them. Kate’s eyelids felt heavy. “Are we going train tomorrow, too?”
“I don’t see as to why not.”
She hummed and rolled to her side. “Why are you so angry?”
“Rest. I will be here when you awaken.”
“Can’t you answer my questions?”
He shushed her and patted her head. Sleep was inescapable, and before Kate could even speak another word, she succumbed to the spell Loki had cast.
Sunday was the same, except for that Loki was in his Marvel form. Kate woke up, she ate breakfast and spent the morning with her Dad and siblings because it was Father’s Day, then the afternoon was spent up in her room with the God of Mischief.
“Why aren’t you imprisoned?” He still hadn’t answered her question, no matter how much she badgered him.
“Concentrate your anger.”
“Why aren’t you imprisoned?”
“Don’t let your stance slacken.”
“Why aren’t you imprisoned?”
He looked slightly ticked-off. “Must you be so incessant?”
“Yes.”
He groaned. “If I answer you, will you stop asking questions?”
“Maybe.”
He gave her a look but sighed in resignation. “I have been given a… reprieve, of sorts. The Allfather and his courts are trying to figure out what to do with me. If I wasn’t who I was, perhaps I might already have a sentence, but I simply bide my time at the moment.”
“So, they just, like, let you walk around on the planet you tried to take over?”
He laughed. “Oh, no, darling. I sneak away. That is why I can only stay for a few days at a time.”
“Why haven’t they decided yet? Wasn’t that like twenty-twelve or something?”
He shrugged. “Five years is not long to the gods. I’m kept on a tight leash for now, but I am certain I can persuade Mother to shorten my sentence.”
Kate nodded her head in thought. “Can you stay until tomorrow? I don’t have any school since it’s summer and I’m not working until Tuesday, so we could hypothetically smoosh in some training time.”
Apparently, her speech was funny. “Perhaps. Now, concentrate.”
She did as she was told, focusing the energy jittering through her. She’d carbo-loaded about a half-hour ago so now she was really feeling the cold as it bounced through her like microscopic waves of sound.
Kate woke up in a cold sweat. Jake was at her feet, and Mars wasn’t in the room. She carefully got up, pacing the room back and forth and focusing on her breath. Her legs trembled, so she sat down and began to rock.
Loki’s shadow appeared from somewhere, and he came nearer to her. “Are you experiencing anxiety?”
She wanted to spit out some sharp retort (it was quite obvious what was going on), but she could only manage a weak “yes.”
Loki sat down beside Kate, staying as far away from Jake as possible and awkwardly wrapping his arm around her. She accepted the comfort and leaned her head against his shoulder.
Kate knew she’d regret it in the morning, but at the moment, she let herself be weak and closed her eyes. She breathed in his scent and let herself be, even if just for a little while.
Loki stayed until Monday evening. When Kate went running in the morning, he followed her as a bird, flittering from branch to branch in the trees as he followed her and Jake. She traversed all three cul-de-sacs, much to Jake’s dismay, and collapsed on the couch when he got home. You’re getting stronger, Loki commented as he turned into something akin to a ghost.
Kate knew she was the only one who could see him. Thanks. I try. She chugged some water while Jake lapped at the water bowl. She could feel herself weakening from the training and desperately needed a break.
She wished she hadn’t asked him to stay.
After her run and a bit of mental training, he recognized her fatigue. He nodded to her, whisking himself off to what she assumed was Asgard.
The week went on and Kate started a little project with Jake. Now that he was getting into a shape that wasn’t tubular, Kate wanted to play with him more often. He wanted to play more often, as well, she noticed.
She worked on the little wooden jumps and hoops in the evening, her dad helping her cut the wood and sand it down until it was smooth. Amidst Loki’s comings-and-goings, they worked on the project and had it finished in just a week and a half.
Kate brought out the little set and placed it in the yard. In her hand was a baggie of kibble and at her side was her dog. It took a few million times for him to get it, but by the next Saturday, she had something to show to Loki.
Saturday morning she woke bright and early. Well, bright was an overstatement. Loki nudged her awake before the sun had even fully risen.
“What?” she grumbled.
He chuckled softly in her ear. She knew he was trying to make chills run down her spine, and it was working.
“On Asgard, you liked to watch the sun rise. I thought I might grant you that pleasure.”
She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and blinked up at him. “You woke me up for the sunrise?”
He stood to his full height, walking over to the curtains and opening them. “Who knows when you may get to see one again?”
“Tomorrow? You know, when the sun rises again?”
“Would you like to wake you then, as well?”
“No thanks,” begrudgingly, she pulled herself out of bed. She didn’t want to get up, but Loki had gone through the trouble of waking her up, so she was going to get up for him and watch the sun rise.
It was beginning to get hotter every day, and Kate had worn an old t-shirt to bed. It covered what needed to be covered, but just barely, and she wasn’t wearing pants underneath. Loki looked away until she had a pair of shorts on.
He cast an illusion over himself and followed her out of her room, walking down the stairs and outside. Kate sat down on the driveway and looked eastward. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, and her view was blocked by trees, so all she could see what the purplish sky bleeding into the darkness.
“Can other people see you?”
“No, being the only one will just have to suffice.”
She laughed. Loki was already worming his way into her routine, and, after a mere two weeks and a day, he felt normal. Well, maybe not normal, but normal enough.
Kate smiled to herself. Friend, she thought. I was a rather incomplete notion, but it was enough for her.
She stood out in the yard, whistling at Jake until he jumped over the jump. It wasn’t at all high—it couldn’t be since he was a corgi—but he acted as though it was a struggle. Kate whistled again, and he hopped over the second jump. He easily went through the double set of hoops, then followed the little trail of kibble through the tunnel she’d bought at a yard sale.
Loki looked genuinely impressed she’d trained the beast to do something upon command.
He left Sunday evening, and Kate spent the week lounging around, mainly. She’d wake up, eat breakfast, go for a run, rest, maybe try some magic that wouldn’t drastically affect anything so Loki wouldn’t notice, then relax.
Leanna flew back to Virginia. The fall semester hadn’t started yet, but she had to go back for work and to be with James. Kate had already set to teasing her sister about their puppy love.
Max’s nightmares ceased, so Kate was sleeping a little better. Her dreams were now filled with the adventures Loki told her about.
He told her about Asgard’s golden palace and the rainbow bridge and the sweeping forests. Of course, she knew what they looked like from movies, but only to an extent. He told her of the halls and secrets and of the paintings she could only imagine.
He told her of the Nine Realms and the politics of each of them—the Jötnar were the most interesting since they were one of the only realms other than Midgard to have factions of people.
But, this dream was… different. She didn’t know what the act looked like, only knew how it worked mechanically, but she felt her mind very, very heavily implying what was going on.
When Kate was finally able to pull herself out of the dream, she was blushing profusely. It took her a moment to realize her own hand was stuffed between her thighs.
She peeled her palm away from her underwear—of course, she hadn’t worn at least shorts to bed that night—and stood up. It was far from being light out and the house was silent. She went into the bathroom, running the water and washing her hands overly-thoroughly before rinsing off her heated face. When she stood, she almost expected Loki to be standing behind her and startled when the mental image she’d created didn’t match reality.
“What the actual heck,” she muttered to herself and went to bed.
It took her all week to forget the dream and having Loki return on Saturday certainly didn’t help.
Even when he wasn’t there, she could call upon her cold now. A few icicles still drained her of any and all energy, but she could summon it if need be.
Loki seemed to pick up on her change in behavior, no matter how well Kate thought she was hiding it. “Are you alright, Ketlingr?” He hadn’t stopped calling her that since the first time.
“Yeah, just jumpy.” She hoped it would be enough.
“And why is that?”
“Movie.”
“Really?” He sounded far too intrigued. “What kind of movie?”
“A scary movie.”
He tisked. “Darling, you know you can’t watch those; you have panic attacks for weeks afterward.”
“I get those anyway.” Kate sat down on her bed and threw her head between her legs, collecting her hair into a generalized bundle and tying it up. Her roots should have started growing back in by now, so she planned on asking Loki if he could show her how to cast some sort of illusion.
Once her head was back upright, he reached down and fixed a few of the fly-aways. He even retrieved a bobby-pin from her dresser and pinned them down, all without her even asking him to.
Alright then, she thought. “Is there some sort of spell we could cast that would make it look like I have brown roots?”
Loki cocked his head. “There is, but you wouldn’t have the strength, and I’m not wasting my seiðr on such a trifle.”
“If it’s such a trifle, it shouldn’t cost you too much, right?”
“Casting enchantments across realms is surprisingly tiresome, girl.”
She raised her lip at him. Thankfully, he hadn’t felt the need to collar her as of recent.
Sunday came and went as always, as well as the rest of the week. On Saturday morning, Kate awoke to find Loki nowhere. She casually looked around the house, but he was nowhere to be found. She raised her eyebrow and decided to treat the day as she normally would. Perhaps he is simply late?
After her run, she showered, and the God of Mischief still had not shown up. Kate settled down to sketch out of boredom when he suddenly opened the door to her bedroom and strolled in as if it were normal.
“I was wondering where you were—on another adventure?” Loki’s gaze was somber and Kate’s relatively-happy mood deflated instantly. “What’s wrong?”
“I must tell you something.”
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Yes yes yes please do share your thoughts on Dream's best to worst games right now, I would love to hear it
based on s2, feel free to debate:
1. sands of time
- genuinely i think this is difficult to decide on but also probably hard to debate. even if u exclude non canon events dream’s teams got first mcc19, mcc21, mcc22. sands has went through updates and changes that made it harder for players and dream’s overcome it so many times, he’s not just one of/the best runner(s) in the event but undoubtedly an excellent strategist and leader. the vault rush strategy was developed by him, he coaches his teammates and shoulders the communication during the game to the point where his teammates both end up better at the game after playing with him and face struggles when they play without him
2. tgttosawaf
- i feel like mcc19 was such an outlier for dream where this game’s been concerned and if u also eliminate mcc14 dream has never fallen out of top 10, exclude mcc15 and he’s never fallen out of top 3, which is crazy. he’s more or less very consistent with this game due to his excellent understanding of the maps, his movement, and also his team coaching and strategizing that helps with getting team bonuses. his no punching strat also really works for him to a karmic level, and if nothing weird happens he’s bound to place high in the game
3. ace race
- dream is almost untouchable on space race map at this point, im confident he could get first again if they played the map again, also in general dream’s just really good at ace race, anything that’s not top 5/3 is honestly an underperformance for his standards like he’s just got smooth movement and this game is just like Him playing individually and removing trident collision proved his skill in this game. if he perfected his clouds and python’s crypt runs even more he could be the best ace race player in the whole event. he’s the only one who rivals illumina in ace race
4. parkour tag
- the map change to make surviving easier/falling down less punishing hurt dream’s hunting speed, and in the beginning he was having a little trouble running around the map too, but i think he’s getting used to it, and i genuinely think we’re due for a crazy running pop off from dream, even tho he’s been popping off quite a bit already. i think him being better acquainted with the current pkt map will help him hunt faster too
5. hole in the wall
- look i know he just finished a hitw round for the first time in june and he still has not canonically won a hitw round BUT despite that he’s really consistent in this game and has never fallen out of top 15 in s2, and rarely has he fallen out of top 10 (his lowest s2 hitw placements are 11th and 13th and its after the hitw platform change iirc). again all his top games really show how strong he is in movement, w hitw he just knows how to do the jumps right and has really good reaction timing, he just gets unlucky :( like off everyone that’s never finished a hitw round he’s the best player
6. rocket spleef rush
- I KNOW but like hear me out . he knows the jumps so much better now i sincerely believe he could pull off 3 really good rounds he has the potential to even finish first in an entire round he’s done it for rocket spleef itself before like i believe he could wind up being recognized as one of the top RSR players if he kept improving
7. survival games
- look. this is going to be controversial. tbh from here on out its honestly so so so debatable. but across the board i genuinely feel like dream doesn’t rank that badly in SG like unless his team gets targeted or they employ a horrifically wrong strat he’s able to place pretty okay once he gets a handful of kills its not something he places top 3 in but its also not something he places bottom 10 in a lot considering how One Chance the game is
8. sky battle
- gen srs i debated this for so long but fine dream’s popped off in sky battle more than he has in battle box this season ig. also mesa was a new map and the whole situation was scuffed so we’ll treat it like an outlier
9. battle box
- this is seriously so map dependent and like. confidence dependent ig? when he can’t hide and ambush and make calculated decisions and he doesn’t have a quick charge 2 crossbow life gets a little fucked up idk :(
10. meltdown
- not enough game data to really place dream’s performance in this game all that accurately but the bow combat seems to be in line with dream’s current strengths and with the right strategy he could really pop off
11. grid runners
- this game used to be higher but genuinely search the house is the bane of my fucking existence and it just feels like its so risky for dream’s teams atp like either the rounds are easy and other teams get through them way too fast or they’re too hard and it happens to be dream’s team that gets stuck on them and he seems to like have this sort of fate where he always does things the hard way like parkouring to get eggs when he could’ve just opened the chest through the window oh dream :(((
12. build mart
- fuck build mart
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A Year In Books: The 2016 Bookworm Awards
I’d like to blame the lateness of this post on something dramatic, like aliens or politics or a terrible computer virus. But the truth is that I’ve had this written since the turn of the year and haven’t had the motivation to type it up. Despite the tardiness of this post, I’d still like to share with you my final round-up on the books I read last year. There were quite a few, and I have a lot of opinions, so stick with me!
2016 was a pretty good year for me. I participated in my first 10k, I successfully defended my PhD dissertation proposal, and I found out I was going to become an aunt- to twins! Aside from those things, though, my year was pretty uneventful, which was a blessing in disguise as it gave me plenty of time to read.
I keep track of my yearly reading on Goodreads (jbfinch89; let’s be friends!), and based on my number there, I spent a large portion of this year with my nose stuck in a book. I guess I really am a funny girl and all that.
In 2015, I read 132 books. My goal for this past year started at 100, which I surpassed, so I upped it to 150. I passed that goal, too, but I wasn’t sure just how ambitious I wanted to be after that, so that's where my goal stayed.
When all was said and done, I had read 178 books (Goodreads says 174, but that’s because I still haven't managed to find a good way to record rereads on Goodreads). These 178 books came from a number of different genres, ranging from classics to sci-fi to Christian fiction to memoirs for a total of over 63,000 pages.
I should probably be glad I didn't end up with more paper cuts.
Here's a more detailed breakdown of my reading this year:
Books Read: 178
New Series Started: 14
Old Series Finished: 5
Series Binge Read: 4
Fiction vs. Nonfiction: 156 (88%) vs. 22 (12%)
Authors Read: 133
Rereads: 9
So probably no one but me that cares about these stats, but I like the numbers.
It looks like I started a lot of new series that are going to require more space on my bookshelves in the future, but I also made the executive decision to let myself not finish a series. I hate leaving things unfinished, so I normally would have kept up with a series as long as I didn’t completely hate the first book, but this year, I realized that I have neither the time nor the room to keep that up forever. There are too many books out there that I want to read to stick with ones that I don’t like. I even let myself sell the first books in these series, mostly because I needed the space, but also to avoid the temptation to keep reading the series out of guilt. Like I said, too many books to feel bad.
And there really are a tone of books out there to read; just look at my Goodreads ‘To-Read’ shelf. But I put a pretty good dent in my eternal TBR pile last year, and through the good and the bad, I found myself laughing, frowning, crying, and cringing. Some books were okay, some were disappointing, and some definitely knocked my socks off. Or they would have if I didn’t hate wearing socks so much.
But I digress. My reading last year had its ups and downs, but some books had way more ups and others more downs. Which are which? It took some work to decide, but I finally managed to narrow down the best of the best, the cream of the crop, and the ones at the tippy top. And so, I present to you the 2016 Bookworm Awards, brought to you once again by the brains behind the Literary Laboratory.
Favorite New Authors: Carrie Firestone and Sarah Porter
These two ladies couldn’t have written more different stories, but they were alike in that neither of them was like anything I’d read before. Carrie’s book was brutally honest and unexpectedly rude, but it was also heartbreaking and hopeful. Sarah wrote a story full of magic and danger with a plucky heroine who was unafraid of doing what needed to be done. To create such fascinating and unique characters and such strangely wonderful situations takes some writers countless tries, but these ladies managed in some of their earliest novels. Brava to both of them!
Favorite New to Me Authors: Erin Morgenstern and Amie Kaufman/Jay Kristoff
I have no idea why I held off on reading the releases from these three. The Night Circus blew me away; it was whimsical and mysterious and dangerous and romantic, and if I could live in Le Cirque des Reves, I would. The Night Circus has fantastically complex characters, but it’s really the world they create that makes this book so great. It’s easily one of my all-time favorites. And both Illuminae and Gemina kept me glued to the pages long after I should’ve gone to bed, gotten back to work, or headed out to run errands. I couldn’t put either of these books down! The format of these stories is one-of-a-kind, and the stories themselves are heart-stopping and action-packed. There were so many plot twists that I didn’t see coming, and I was rooting so hard for the main characters, who were all flawed but skilled, broken but determined, lost yet relentless. I can’t wait for the next book in this series.
Best Beginning of a Series: Illumine (The Illuminae Files #1) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
As I just mentioned, The Illuminae Files is one of my favorite series of 2016. Illuminae easily surpassed anything I could’ve expected and had me flying through the pages to see what happened next. The story started off with chaos and never let up, and I loved following Kady, Ezra, and the rest of the survivors of Kerenza as they tried to escape the people who had blown up their home. I really liked Kady in particular. She was smart, skilled, and snarky, and her willingness to put herself in harm’s way to save those she cared about was undeniably admirable. There were so many twists and turns in her quest for safety, and every time I thought I had things pegged, I was proven wrong. Illuminae was an explosive—literally—debut for this award-winning duo, and it quickly earned both authors a place on my TBR pile for their individual books.
Best Ending to a Series: The Raven King (The Raven Cycle #4) by Maggie Stiefvater, Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2) by Leigh Bardugo, Ignite Me (Shatter Me #3) by Tahereh Mafi
In every book series, characters change and grow as they face new situations and new challenges. These three series, though, had more character growth than most. The writing in these series allowed the characters to naturally respond to the changes in their lives, both good and bad, and end up somewhere better than I ever could’ve guessed when I began each series. Each story also had plenty of action, danger, and romance to wrap up the adventures, and the endings managed to be foregone yet still surprising, which, to me, is always a sign that the author has really put work into the finale rather than just giving readers what they want. Not everyone got their happy ending, but everyone got a proper ending, with hints of more stories in the future. I can only hope.
Best Short Story Collection: Stars Above (The Lunar Chronicles) by Marissa Meyer
The Lunar Chronicles is one of my all-time favorite series, and this collection of extra stories about the main characters was everything I’d hoped for and more. The stories provided looks at the pasts of some of the characters, helping show how they became the people I came to know and love, while the final story provided a new adventure for the four couples as they started their lives after the war. Something Old, Something New made me smile so much and made my heart swell with happiness for these characters, and I can’t thank Marissa enough for another chance to peek back into the world of The Lunar Chronicles.
Most Disappointing Book: Stalking Jack the Ripper by Kerri Maniscalco
Ugh, I really wanted to like this book. The cover was beautiful, and the premise of a young woman training to become a forensic pathologist and finding herself on the path of an infamous serial killer sounded great. But this book fell prey to the dangers of insta-love, ridiculous decisions by an intelligent character, and a villain reveal that didn’t make sense. There was very little stalking of Bloody Jack as the title had promised, and to make it worse, the characters were pretty flat, largely predictable, and fairly uninteresting. This is one series I won’t be continuing.
Favorite Classic: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
I wrote a whole review on this book last February because it managed to do what few books have done and catch me truly by surprise. The first part of this book makes you think it’s going to be a typical gothic romance with grand, sweeping settings, beautiful but troubled characters, and a dark secret. And this book is that. But then the dark secret is revealed, and it was something I never would’ve guessed. It had me flipping back to reread scenes in a new light and kept me glued to the book until I’d reached the end. This book is a classic for a reason, and I highly recommend it for anyone who’s a fan of a good mystery.
Favorite Non-fiction Read: Ghost Soldiers by Hampton Sides
This book had my emotions all over the place. The topic—the Bataan death march and the Cabanatuan Camp—is one that isn’t widely discussed, but it really should be, as it’s a true story of the best and worst of mankind. I couldn’t believe the optimism, the hope, and the perseverance of the human spirit in such horrific conditions, and it gave me a new respect for the men who endured such cruelty. Ghost Soldiers is truly a heartbreaking yet inspiring story and certainly one I’ll never forget.
Favorite Reread: The Dream Thieves (The Raven Cycle #2) by Maggie Stiefvater
The Raven Cycle is one of my favorite series anyway, and while I love the other three books, The Dream Thieves just feels like a beast of a different sort. I’d forgotten how much I loved to hate Kravinsky, not to mention how legitimately crazy that dude was, but I loved how he messed with the Raven boys and how he antagonized Ronan in particular. This book focused more on Ronan and his abilities as the Greywaren, and it felt less like a mystical mystery and more like a reckless, headfirst race into danger and bad decisions than the rest of the quartet. I was quite pleased to hear that the Ronan-centered series Maggie is working on will be more like The Dream Thieves, because goodness knows I need more of this lovable thug of a boy in my life.
Favorite Retelling: Vassa in the Night by Sarah Porter
I was only vaguely familiar with the original tale of Vasilisa and her magical doll—thanks, random folklore podcast!—and so I wasn’t really sure what to expect from this book. I ended up being pleasantly surprised! The setting of the story was a mix of the familiar and the absurd, the characters were magical and strange, and the story itself was, well, also strange, but also a bit heartbreaking and a bit inspiring. Vassa was such a strong character, and I loved that she managed to save others by being kind; she didn’t require any special powers, other than what Erg provided, to defeat Baba Yaga, which is unusual for most YA books today. And since I wasn’t really sure how the original tale ended, I couldn’t guess how things were going to turn out for Vassa. This is the way modern retellings should be done.
Favorite Contemporary Read: The Loose Ends List by Carrie Firestone
This book wasn’t anything like I expected, and that was a good thing. I expected an interesting story about a girl whose grandmother was dying. What I got was an open, honest, yet rude, funny, and heartbreaking look at death, letting go, and the love of family. I loved Maddie and her reactions to all the crazy things that happened on the cruise, and I loved getting to see the sweet relationship between her and her grandmother. I also loved getting to meet all the other Wishwellians and their families and seeing how all their views of life and death changed as the cruise went on. The cover of this book, although quite cute, doesn’t really do this book justice as it covers such a heavy topic and really makes you consider what you’re doing that makes life worth living.
Scariest Book: Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
Most people know Gillian Flynn through her novel Gone Girl, but I’ve only read her other novels, and Dark Places is easily my favorite. This book was more suspenseful than scary, but it was frightening to uncover the true events of the fateful night that the family of the main character, Libby, was killed. Libby herself was a rather unlikable character, but she’d suffered so much that I still cared about her story. It was interesting to have the POV jumps and the flashbacks to unfold the story and create tension from a number of different angles, and the truth of the murders was actually much more complex and scary than I’d imagined. This book was rather depressing and dark, but it’s worth it to see how Libby changes as she learns more about her family and their deaths.
Funniest Books: Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick, The Only Pirate at the Party by Lindsey Stirling, and You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day
My sense of humor is a bit drier and a bit darker than most, but these three ladies all managed to make me laugh numerous times. Not at them, of course, more at the various situations they’ve found themselves in over the years and the ridiculous ways they reacted to them. (They were laughing, too, so I didn’t feel bad.) It was nice to see that even famous people have awkward moments, whether it’s suffering from foot-in-mouth syndrome or acting like a total fangirl in fronts of someone (else) famous. Aside from being funny, these memoirs showed the dedication and determination of these women to their crafts, and I loved that they were open about both the ups and downs in their lives. It makes me admire them all the more for their willingness to share their mistakes and their hard times and to then remind everyone that it’s okay to ask for help, that there are people out there who love you and want to see you happy. And I feel like these three ladies really show that the bad times don’t last forever and that sometimes laughter really is the best medicine.
Most Unexpected Books: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier and Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
I know I’ve already talked about both of these a bit, but I want to reiterate that both of these books threw in a huge twist that I absolutely did not see coming. That happens quite rarely for me, and the fact that it happened twice in one year makes me think I’m either losing my awesome literary foresight or authors are getting better at being surprising. Well, Rebecca is far from new, so maybe I’ve just been reading better books. Regardless, even though I’ve told you there are big twists, you should really read these books to find out what they are. I promise you you won’t be disappointed.
Cover Lust: The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, The Raven King (The Raven Cycle #4) by Maggie Stiefvater, and The Love That Split the World by Emily Henry
I will freely admit that I’m guilty of occasionally judging a book by its cover, and these books would’ve definitely piqued my interest even if I’d known nothing about them. The covers of these three books are all very different, but they fit their individuals stories so well, managing to portray all the magic inside with a single picture. A cover picture is worth a thousand words, after all.
These say,
“Aren’t
I
pretty?”
(The answer is yes, yes you are.)
Most Surprising Villain: Tamlin from A Court of Mist and Fury (A Court of Thorns and Roses #2) by Sarah J. Maas
In A Court of Thorns and Roses, I liked Tamlin. He wasn’t perfect, and his unwillingness to stand up to Amarantha to help Feyre irked me, but overall, I thought he was a good match for Feyre, and I was glad they ended up together. Then I got to A Court of Mist and Fury, and all those happy feelings for Tamlin went right out the window. Part of me initially wanted to forgive his actions—he was finally free after so many years, and he was clearly still recovering—but the moment he locked Feyre in the house was the moment I lost all sympathy for him. It’s one thing to want to protect someone you love, but it’s another thing entirely to force them to do what you want because you think you know what’s best for them. And then that ending! Yeah, Tamlin jumped to the top of my naughty list. I loved that Maas was able to flip the tables on Tamlin’s character and show how people can change for the better or for the worse. I kind of liked Tamlin’s road to villainy, in part because it was so unexpected but also because it made room for Rhysand, which I certainly didn’t mind!
Top Five Couples:
Blue and Gansey from The Raven King (The Raven Cycle #4) by Maggie Stiefvater
Feyre and Rhysand from A Court of Mist and Fury (A Court of Thorns and Roses #2) by Sarah J. Maas
Celia and Marco from The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
Kaz and Inej from Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2) by Leigh Bardugo
Juliette and Warner from Ignite Me (Shatter Me #3) by Tahereh Mafi
You know how some couples have problems with lying or trusting one another or disapproving families? These couples make those couples look lame by comparison. These five couples were forced to deal with magic, murder, kidnapping, corrupt rulers and governments, major anxiety issues, their own death—you know, simple stuff—and managed to come out even stronger. These guys and gals are all strong and fierce on their own, but together, they prove they can do absolutely anything they set their minds to. Definitely relationship goals, expect maybe with less bloodshed.
And that’s the end!
This was really a whirlwind year for me in terms of reading; I found a number of books that made it onto my all-time favorites list, and I found some others that convinced me to branch out in regards to what genres and topics I’m willing to explore.
So how did those discoveries work out in relation to my reading goals from last year? Well, I met—and surpassed—my initial goal of 100 books. I did manage to read more classics, although I still have plenty to go. And I read at least one non-fiction book each month, and most months, I read more than one. I rediscovered that real life can be just as dramatic and violent and romantic and mysterious as fiction, something that I tend to forget as I’m off exploring all the fictional worlds I can find. Therefore, one of this year’s reading goals is based on my enjoyment of all the nonfiction stories I read last year; yes, once again, I have my reading goals along with my more general resolutions. This year, my goals are to:
1) Read only nonfiction books for an entire month
2) Read at least 160 books
3) Read more classics…again
I’m quite confident that I can successfully meet all these goals—goodness knows I have enough books on my shelves to do so. I’m also quite confident that I’ll once again find some new favorites and some interesting historical events to study up on. There’s a whole year’s worth of reading to explore, and I can’t to see where these stories take me.
I better go get started…
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Since I’ve been on vacation for half of July and August, I’ve decided to it wrap it up at once, but that means this will be a very long wrap-up. I have read a lot over the summer (by which I mean A LOT). So I hope you will still enjoy this, even though it’s very long!
July
I read in total 14 books in July. Which is mind-blowingly much, I don’t know if that’s a word but wow just wow. I’m going to try to keep it as short as possible because otherwise this post will never end.
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell – ★★★★ I was recommended this by my psychology teacher and I really enjoyed it! It was really interesting. This is a pop-science book about mainly how people judge and what happens in those milliseconds in which we make up our mind.
Fallen Flame by J.M. Miller – ★★★☆ I enjoyed this book, I didn’t love it but it was pretty good. Review here!
City of Betrayal by Claudie Arseneault ★★★☆ This is the second book in the City of Spires and I really liked both the first and second book. Both were a little too slow paced I think, but overall I really enjoyed them! Review here!
The Butterfly on Fire by E.L. Croucher ★★★☆ I loved part of this book and the other part not so much. It was really cool though, because the author mixed a contemporary with a fantasy storyline. Review here!
Cinder by Marissa Meyer ★★★★★ This was a reread with the YA Book Bloggers group on goodreads and I loved it!
Chasing Eveline by Leslie Hauser ★★★☆ I did not like the beginning much but I loved it near the ending! Review here!
Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust ★★★★★ I loved this book so much! It was magical and the characters were complex and interesting and I think Melissa Bashardoust should write all the retellings because this was amazing. Review here!
Isla and the Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins ★★★★ This book was just fun. Not spectacular but really enjoyable.
This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab ★★★★★ This was my first Schwab book and I think I’m in love. I’ve heard this was one of the lesser books and I cannot imagine how her other books could be even better. LOVED IT.
Solitaire by Alice Oseman ★★★ Since I absolutely loved Radio Silence, I was expecting to love this as well but it was kind of disappointing. I really did not like the main character Tori. She was rude and overly negative and kind of insensitive at times. The story was predictable and I had guessed most of the “big reveal” way before it happened. I did love the fandom references and side characters though! Review here!
Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff ★★★★★ I have never read a book like this before. I started out with listening to the audiobook and reading the physical book at the same time but after a while the audiobook started to become a little annoying because it was so slow! And they read all the headers and such out loud, which takes forever. This book managed to make me feel heartbroken, angry, anxious, excited, happy and terrified. All at the same time. IT WAS EPIC AND I NEED GEMINA RIGHT NOW PLEASE THANK YOU. Review here!
The Unexpected Everything by Morgan Matson ★★★★ I really missed the diversity in this book (I kind of shipped Toby and Bri – both girls – but that never happened 😦 ). I think it could have been so much more!
The Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin ★★★★★ I LOVED Riley. Riley is genderfluid and it was so interesting to read about! I loved the side characters too and I don’t know what to say to make you go read it. Just read it.
Heartless by Marissa Meyer ★★★★ I was warned for the ending, so I was actually expecting it to be even worse *SPOILER IN WHITE* I kind of expected Cath to kill Jest, but that didn’t happen *END OF SPOILER*. I loved the world and I really liked the characters. It was so whimsical and fun!
August
Again I read 14 books in August which is something I still cannot understand. How?? Anyway, let’s get into it:
The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz ★★★☆ I don’t know what to think of this book, I wasn’t particularly attached to the characters, and this was a very character-based book. I did love the family-focus!
A Million Worlds With You by Claudia Gray ★★★☆ This book sadly just wasn’t quite the epic conclusion I was hoping it would be. It was fun but the build-up and the ending could have been so much better! Review here!
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo ★★★★★ BRILLIANT. EPIC. AMAZING. LOVED IT.
The Geography of Me And You by Jennifer E. Smith ★★★ This was a filler book, I could read this for free from my library app and I didn’t feel like reading any of the other books I brought so I read it. It was fun but that was about all I can say about it.
When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandya Manon ★★★★ I wouldn’t say this was as great as everyone seems to say it was, but it was much fun! I missed the science/app developing aspect to it, but it was very funny so I guess that kind of makes up for it?
Night of Cake and Puppets by Laini Taylor ★★★★★ This Daughter of Smoke and Bone companion was sooo cute omg I died. I ADORE ZUZANNA. I want her to be my best friend please.
Let’s Get Lost by Adi Alsaid ★★★★ For a book that was mostly about Leila, it has surprisingly little of Leila in it. She was a bit manic pixie dream girl-ish, but near the end, you got a bit more insight into her and I really liked that part! I did not love Bree’s part, but that was mainly because I didn’t really like Bree.
Geekerella by Ashley Poston ★★★★☆ I reread this because I felt like it and I loved it so much. I’m giving this even an extra half-star after reading it for the second time. I loved the fandom references so much and I NEED Starfield in my life!! I NEED IT.
Flame in the Mist by Renée Ahdier ★★★★ I thought this was a standalone but it wasn’t??? It was a bit slow but I loved the worldbuilding and I even liked the romance although it was a little unnecessary. I wouldn’t say it was amazing but I do am really interested in reading the next book!
A Darker Shade of Magic by Victoria Schwab ★★★★★ THIS WAS SO GOOD I NEED ALL OF SCHWABS BOOKS NOW Review here!
Am I Normal Yet? by Holly Bourne ★★★★★ How did the entire book community fail to tell me how brilliant this book is????? (okay, I’ve heard some things about it but still, it needs all the hype) It was feministic and I adored the friendship and it was about mental health and I was already planning on buying the other books in the series before I was even finished.
The Serpent King by Jeff Zentner ★★★★★ If you didn’t know it yet, this is one of my favourite books of all time and I’ve already read it twice this year soooo it’s fair to say I love it.
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas ★★★☆ I think this book had more potential, the writing felt a little flat to me and I couldn’t connect to the characters. The message is very important though.
T is For Tree by Greg Fowler ★★★ I really need to think about this one. A review will be up soon.
A Quick Look at My TBR
What I added to my tbr but haven’t read yet:
Things I’m Seeing Without You, This Mortal Coil and Good Angel are all eARCs and the rest I just NEED TO READ. ASAP.
The current state of my tbr is 29 books, which is 4 books less than in June!
How was your summer? Did you get a lot of reading done? Or are any of these books on your tbr? I’d love to hear your thoughts if you read any of these! (and the chances are pretty high you’ve read at least one of all of these books haha)
July & August Wrap-up | Warning: it’s a long one Since I've been on vacation for half of July and August, I've decided to it wrap it up at once, but that means this will be a very long wrap-up.
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