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#how kaz thinks of jes before he thinks even of inej when the plan goes wrong in crooked kingdom
sophierequests · 2 years
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looking out for you // fingers crossed part two
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Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader
A/N: Quite a few of you guys wanted a part two, so here it is! I'm so glad that you liked this fic so much, because I am a sucker for angsty writing. Some of you even wanted to be tagged, so the question is, if you'd like me to establish a tag list? Where I'd just tag you whenever I post a fic about this certain character? I'd love to do that, you just have to comment, and I'll do it!
You can find part one here!
Summary: Kaz goes to confront the reader about hiding their wound, but it does not go as planned, leading to a fight and also confessions that were regretted immediately after.
Genre: Angst, Comfort
Word Count: 2.5K (how the hell did I write that much again???)
Warnings: A bit angsty, feelings, mention of past injury and pain, slight callback to a previous panic attack, if you squint and a lot of profanities
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You didn’t wake up for almost one whole week. And when you did, you had one of the worst headaches imaginable. Even though you weren’t back in action yet, you still felt a lot better.
Jesper was more than relieved to see you fully awake, sitting upright and smiling at him. Kaz, however, didn’t come to see you when you first woke up. Which didn’t surprise you, but left you with a sinking feeling of disappointment.
“Oh, I’m so dead.” Jesper sighed, throwing himself next to you on the bed, before giving you your dinner. You turned your head to smile at him sheepishly, taking the dinner gratefully.
“Why now, Jes? If Kaz wanted to actually kill you, he would have done it by now.”
“Isn’t that just fucking comforting, love.” he said, whilst chewing his own food.
 “You can be glad that Wylan loves you because I think I saw a glint of murder in his eyes after I told him what happened. I’m pretty sure his wrath would’ve been worse.” you joked, nudging the sharpshooter's arm with a grin.
“Ha ha ha, very funny, Y/N.” Jesper mocked, “You have no clue how mad he was after that. He almost forced me to sleep downstairs!”
The both of you laughed, enjoying the time without any distress or missions thoroughly.
“How’s Kaz?” you asked, immediately regretting it after seeing Jesper’s facial expression.
“Ugh, if I would only know. This man is starting to become a ticking time bomb.” he said, toying with his rings nervously, “I don’t think he’s sleeping. At least not really well. And I think he’s only really talking to Inej. I haven’t heard him say a word, since he called me to help Nina fix you up. I don’t think you’re allowed to almost die again anytime soon, or he’ll go completely mad.”
“I’ll try my best.” you chuckled, however, the weight of his words still heavy on your shoulders, “Do you think he’s mad at me?”
“What? Are you being serious right now? Please don’t tell me that you care about what Kaz I-can’t-express-my-feelings-properly Brekker thinks about you. Love, he’s not mad at you, why would you think that? You’re probably one of the few people on this team, that he could never be mad at.” he told you reassuringly.
You snorted.
“You should’ve seen the look on his face when he went into my room that night. If I wouldn’t be one of his valuable investments, he would’ve killed me on the spot. I think you think a bit too highly of his opinion of me. I could’ve finished the mission on my own. But no, he needed you to join me, because I am not allowed to go on these missions alone. He thinks I’m not useful on these sorts of missions, and it is driving me insane. He’d never send you to go on a mission with Inej!” 
“Oh Y/N, you are one of the smartest people I know, but during times like these, you can be so bloody dense.”
“Hey!” you snorted, giving him a slight jab in the ribs.
“I’m being serious. Have you ever thought about the fact, that he might care about you? I’ve known him for quite a while now, and he never acted like that with any of the Dregs. We all have the sneaking suspicion that our dearest boss might have a little crus-”
“Don’t finish that sentence, or I won’t be able to look him in the eyes anymore.”
“Why? Scared of someone actually returning your feelings?”
“Shut up!” you chuckled, slumping against the headboard and closing your eyes, the half-eaten dinner sitting on your nightstand was already forgotten.
“I don’t get what you see in him anyway. You’re way too good for him.” Jesper commented.
“I know. But so are you.”
“Aww, you’re so sweet.” he grinned, leaning his head on your shoulder.
He was right, of course, your crush on Kaz Brekker had been one of the most embarrassing gossip topics that the Crows could bring up. It was just such a bizarre thing to everyone. You were lovely and kind, never failing to comfort the team members if they needed it. And Kaz, well, Kaz was Kaz. You always told yourself that you were friends and that he wanted nothing more than that from you. But hearing it out loud, that he might have a crush on you too, gave you a complicated arrangement of feelings.
“Love, as much as I enjoy our little talks, I should get going. Because my boyfriend should already be waiting for me downstairs. We planned on going to the market, want something?”
You shook your head, waving him off with a smile.
The silence that Jesper had left you with didn’t stay too long. As soon as you closed your eyes, you heard the faint clicking of a cane doming from the corridor. Internally, you prayed that he would just walk right past your room, but if the Saints were actually real, they didn’t seem to like that idea.
Before you could think about what to do next, the handle turned and Kaz slipped inside the room.
“No knocking this time?” you asked, a soft smile on your lips.
The man let out a huff, and you knew that you were in for a lecture.
“What were you thinking? Hiding a gunshot wound? That could have got you killed. No, it should’ve killed you. You were more than lucky that Nina was here. If she hadn't been here, you would be dead by now! And Jesper lying right into my face will also be something I’ll have to keep in the back of my mind from now on.”
“Jesper lied because I told him too. I really didn’t need you to give us another talk on team safety.”
“Oh, so you probably also told him to shoot you then?” he snarled, visibly aggravated. 
“You can be such an ass sometimes, do you know that? Jesper didn’t mean to shoot me. It was my fault. I didn’t assess the situation properly and got hit. That’s it. He couldn’t have done anything to stop it.” you retorted, getting angrier and angrier, “And you know if you only came here to yell at me, I’d like you to leave, Kaz. I get that you’re angry, but that gives you absolutely no right to be such a bloody prick.”
“I’m not leaving. What you did was stupid and reckless, and I have every right to hold you accountable for that.”
“You have no right to anything, Brekker. This is the first time you visit me since that night you checked on me, and without showing the slightest bit of concern, you just start lecturing me? This is the last thing I need right now. You are the last thing I need right now.”
He tried to hide the way his face cringed, after hearing that statement, but this feeling was soon replaced as he saw you flinching, whilst trying to straighten your position. Nina helped you as best as she could, but the pain would stick around for a while.
Without a second thought, he moved towards your bed, handing you one of the vials, filled with a disgustingly sweet liquid to ease the pain.
“Here.” he said, his voice now way more regulated than before.
You sighed, taking it from his hand and downing it in one go.
“Are you going to do something else, other than just standing there like a lost dog?” you asked, patting the empty spot next to you as a sort of pathetic peace offer.
With a glint of hesitation in his eyes, he sat down next to you, avoiding eye contact as best as he could.
“Why did you try to hide it? I don’t understand.” he said again, but now in a much softer tone.
“You said it yourself. A hurt crow is of no use.” you huffed, closing your eyes, “I just didn’t want to bother you with that. You said it was important that you got to take a look at the blueprints as soon as we were back, so I thought it would be best to follow that.”
Kaz stared back at you, a conflicted expression painted on his face.
“I haven’t looked at the blueprints yet.” he confessed, “I only wanted you to bring them to me, to make sure that you were safe. I knew that it would be of risk to go into Pekka’s territory. I needed to actually see that nothing happened to you.”
“You already sent me a babysitter for that, though.” you snorted.
“He was just a backup safety measure.”
“Why do you trust me so little? I could’ve done the mission on my own and I would have been completely fine.”
“Y/N…”
“No, Kaz, you asked me to tell the truth, and now it’s your turn.”
“I do trust you. More than you probably know.” Kaz admitted, running a gloved hand through his messy hair, only now you realized that he looked like he hadn’t slept properly in the last few days, “When Jesper brought me the blueprints that day, I was more than worried. You wouldn’t make Jesper finish miniscule things like that.”
He paused, pondering on what to say next.
“We fought, Jesper and I. He told me things I didn’t like to hear. That’s why I only checked on you after he was gone. I should’ve just swallowed my pride.”
“What did he say to you, Kaz?” you asked, slightly confused by where this was supposed to go.
“He told me that I was just a boy too scared of his own feelings. And…”
“And?” 
“And he’s right. The reason why I always send Jesper with you on these missions is because I can’t stand seeing you hurt. I care for you. In a different way than I care for Inej, Jesper or any other team member. I just never though that this would influence my judgement this much.”
This confession left you speechless. Coming from Kaz this was basically a love confession. No, it definitely was a love confession.
“Why didn’t you come to see me earlier? I’ve been awake for a few days now. I genuinely thought you were mad at me.” you inquired, testing the waters slowly, “I mean, I don’t know how out of it I would’ve been, but still.” 
“I was mad. Not at you, but at myself. Nothing of that should’ve happened, I should’ve known better.” he rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling, his hands now only a few inches away from your legs, “I did come to visit you. When you were still unconscious. Nina said that you were going to be fine, but you didn’t look fine. Well, not what I understand under the word fine.”
An awkward silence settled between the two of you until Kaz groaned, moving to get up.
“I’m sorry, this was more than ill-fitting of me Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have to be aware of these kinds of one-sided feelings. I’m sorry.”
Before he could stand up, you lunched forward, clutching his sleeve tightly.
“Wait, what if I told you that I may or may not feel the same?” you stammered, realizing that you were still holding onto his shirt, only a little bit away from accidentally touching his skin.
His expression turned from a look of irritation, and he pulled his sleeve out of your grasp.
“No.” he replied in a stern voice
“What? What do you mean no? You can’t just tell me about your feelings and then deny mine!” you answered, now standing, or rather sitting, completely helpless against his words.
“I could never give you what you want. You know that.” he shot back, now meeting your gaze harshly.
“What do I want, Kaz? Tell me?” 
“Someone that doesn’t have to retch when you touch them. Someone that can actually show you affection. Someone you can kiss. Not me.” 
“I don’t need all that. There’s more to love than just that.” the mention of the word love made Kaz shudder, since none of you said it out loud up until now, “I enjoy your company and the conversations we share. I enjoy you. The rest really doesn’t matter. You’re not a lost cause.” 
He turned around, his back now facing you, his hands wiping over his face anxiously. For a moment, he just stood there, not saying anything. Then he walked over to the door, his hand resting on the handle. This made your stomach drop. You really thought that things could work out between the two of you.
However, something inside him stopped him from turning the handle and leaving. The moment felt like a déjà vu, him turning to run off to his office like a kicked dog and her just helplessly sitting on her bed. He thought about the following hours, Inej telling him that she was alive and him thanking every supernatural force for granting him another chance. This was it. And what was he doing? Running away again. 
No, not this time.
Meanwhile, there were tears building up in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know what to do, and even though the hurt was possessing every inch of you, you wouldn’t run after him this time.
“I can’t and won’t promise you anything.” his voice broke the silence, causing you to look up at him, “But if that is what you want, I’d be willing to try.” 
You felt like someone just waterboarded you, just to pull you out right after.
“What?” you stuttered.
Kaz crossed the room again to get back to your bed, sitting a bit closer to you than before. After taking a deep breath, he set one of his gloved hands on yours, eyeing you carefully.
“I can’t promise you any sort of physical affection. To be frank, I’ll have to get used to any sort of affection, too. But I’d like us to try, Y/N.” he repeated slowly.
You nodded hastily, the weight of his words hitting you like a freight train. He wanted to try. That was more than enough for you. Tears were still running down your cheeks, just for a different reason now.
“I’d like us to try, too.” you answered softly, seeing the hint of a smile form on his face.
“Good, it’s settled then.” Kaz added smugly, now genuinely smiling, “And please stop crying, love. Don’t waste your tears on things like that.”
Much to your surprise, he didn’t wait for you to do it on your own, but moved his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
Before any of you could say anything else, the door opened suddenly, Jesper and Nina walking in to your room without any announcement. They took in the scene, you, sitting next to a startled Kaz, leftover tears still gliding down your cheeks. 
“You made her fucking cry, Brekker?” Nina shrieked, her expression changing into one of annoyance.
“It’s not how it looks like!” the both of you tried to clarify in unison. 
None of you knew where this would take you from there on, but both of you wanted to try. And at least for you, that was the only thing that mattered.
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@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @kitty084
Thank you so much for the positive feedback, I really do appreciate every comment and request I get <3 If you want to be added to a taglist, just tell me in the comments!
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rainnorshinee · 3 years
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i liked that the show didn’t just focus on kanej; don’t get me wrong I love kanej with my whole heart but they also focused on kaz’ relationship with jesper quite a bit. because in the end he goes after jesper and not inej. you can see he hesitates when inej leaves but he’s still thinking rationally. he knows that if he goes he’ll die, they’ll all die and damn he cares for inej but he narrowly escaped the darkling once and he isn’t all that sure he’ll manage again and this isn’t really for inej anyway because it’s for alina-
and then jesper says fuck it if you won’t do anything i will and leaves and kaz immediately follows - and kaz isn’t one to do something because of peer pressure. he did it for jesper. And even more: he covers jesper. he pulls him out of the crossfire and uses his own body as a shield when the darkling uses the cut, despite how triggering that must’ve been for him.
he steals his drink and has confided in him somewhat because jesper has at least an idea of what motivates kaz.
idk it just means a lot to me because in the books kaz doesn’t really express how much he cares about jesper and while i love how bittersweet it is, I’m still sad about it
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lostysworld · 2 years
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Only if I could - Kaz Brekker x reader (Part II)
@acupnoodle
Masterlist
Part I
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Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader
Warnings: none
Summary: everything is in the request) When you leave the Crows, the heist goes wrong. Kaz decides to do something with it.
A/N: yes, I'm finally back!!!
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Everything goes wrong.
Every detail of the scheme Kaz came up with early in the morning after your departure goes not like he planned it. He screws up completely.
He split Y/N's part of the job between Jesper and Inej, who didn't even ask a single question about the girl's absence. Maybe because she's already told them. Jesper, for sure. Kaz's face darkens because of this thought. The feeling that he could do something for you and didn't do that starts chasing him more with every second.
When all of the Crows have already finished with the heist, or it seemed like that, they heard voices from someone who should have been guards. And now if they don't run away right now, they will end up in the hands of the guard, or worse. Dead.
Muttering under his breath Jesper is running to the entrance, suddenly noticing one exact detail. Kas is not wearing his gloves. How can he not see it before, in the beginning of the heist?
The amount of questions is increasing in the boy's head, but he has no time to get distracted. Maybe if Y/N was here, they won't be in the situation like that. She always knows how to escape. Y/N would come up with ideas.
– Kaz, wait! - Jesper is breathing heavily, trying to catch up with others. Inej is nowhere to be seen, but Kaz isn't worried about her. This girl always finds her way to escape safely.
When they seem to leave the guard behind, Brekker stops near the wall of a building, helping Fahey to catch his breath. His own leg is throbbing with pain, sending hot waves up and down his body.
– I told you-
– Not now, Jesper!
Kaz is mad. At Jesper for his witty comments, at guard, who was trying to catch and kill them. And at himself for not predicting this course of events. Even at Y/N, but what for, he doesn't get to think of.
But then distant sounds of gun shots reach men's hearing, which means, that they are not in the safe place yet.
Suddenly one of the bullets sings right above Kaz's head, and Jesper immediately pulls him aside, down the narrow dark street. Heavy steps are still heard behind their backs.
When they literally run out of strength to go on further, and Kaz's leg refuses to serve properly, someone tugs them to the deserted gateway.
– Where are you two running? Straight to your death?!
This voice, that Brekker craved to hear, finally rings in loud whisper. Y/N is standing right in front of them with the face expression, that even he would hesitate to argue with. Jesper only smiles to her. By Kaz's count, she should be far away by now.
– I bet, we end up in more welcoming hands, - Kaz almost flinches at that blink, that Fahey gives to the girl. – But we need to-
– Kaz!
With that she moves fast in front of Brekker like a flash, covering him with her body. Behind them one of the guards are standing with a gun in his hands, and Jesper instantly shoots his revolver back. Two shots ring simultaneously right next to their heads.
The man falls dead with a hole between his eyes, and the boy turns to his friends to say about saving them, but his glance bumps into the girl, who is hanging on to Kaz's shoulders. One of her palms is pressed to her left side.
– Y/N, hey!
Jesper is not stupid. He rushes to her, grabbing her waist and throwing one of her arms across his shoulder, helping her to stand.
– Got you, princess. Hold on.
He sees Brekker's wide eyes, but doesn't know what from. Is it Y/N's touch, that concerns him, or her wound?
– Jes, hey, easy! - she winces from pain and shifts her weight a bit. Seeing her predicament, Jesper lifts her up, holding her tight and preventing all unnecessary movements. When the girl relaxes a bit, he goes on straight to the Slat.
Kaz follows them without a word. He can hardly say something to his own and Jesper's surprise. Y/N saved his life, jeopardized her own and what for. Only to save him. The Bastard of the Barrel, the bastard that ruined everything in his life with his own hands.
Brekker saw this panic in her eyes in the last seconds before she got shot. How both of them, he and Fahey, failed to notice a man behind them?
And then these long moments of her clinging to him, waiting for him to help her and hold her body after getting the wound. What did he do instead? Nothing. As usual. He should be at Jesper's place, holding her body carefully, taking her to safety. Now he only has to follow his people like a stray dog.
Kaz squeezes his fists in boiling anger. Anger with himself and his inactivity, insecurity and whatever it can be. It is the second time in a row, when he finds himself not able to do what he really wants.
But it's time to finally do anything with it.
Kaz spends forty eight hours sitting without a motion at your bed side, all this time his eyes are scanning yours features, trying to notice even the slightest change. Or it's better to say, absence of this change.
The wound was not that serious, but the significant amount of blood that you've lost played its role in your healing process. Nina has done everything she could, and even during that Brekker didn't leave your side, watching the heartrender carefully.
The scene of you getting shot is still in front of his eyes, the way Jesper carried your weak body carefully. In that moment Kaz was cursing his touch aversion with all his heart. Yes, he wanted to be on Fahey's place even when they get to the Slat, touch your hair to soothe you to sleep in your fever, to smooth the wrinkle between your brows, to take your hand in his own in the end.
And when you finally move on sheets, you realize you are not in your bedroom. Leaning your head slightly to your shoulder you notice way too familiar piercing glance.
– Don't move. You can rip your sutures.
The same demanding voice. Something never changes.
– Wasn't even thinking about it, - nevertheless you somehow try to move your arm at least. Two days of lying has its cons. – For how long-
– Long enough, - Kaz's features harden and he moves closer, sitting on your bed from his chair. – What were you thinking about, Y/N?!
Not that death threat changes something in you, but now you found out that you can joke freely with Brekker.
– Don't know...maybe saving your life?
– You could be dead by now, if it's not for Nina.
– But I'm not dead, - you take a breather and raise your eyes at him, catching his glittering gaze. – Seems, to your greatest disappointment.
Kaz opens his mouth to argue, but suddenly realizes, that you are right. You have quite twisted impression about him and some of his reactions. And it's all to his inappropriate behavior and acting with you.
But if he decided to do something to fix it, he should do it right now and tell you how he feels, but not wait until you are on your deathbed or gone.
– Y/N-
– I don't like this face expression of you, Kaz, - your light smirk eases the tension in him.
– I feel like I should apologize.
– It's not your fault-
– No, not your wound, - the man is clearly struggling with words. – But this too. I should have watched my back carefully.
You are watching Brekker's words literally stuck in his throat, and lay your hand on top of his. That's the moment, when you realize, that he doesn't wear his gloves.
You immediately take your hand back, as if his skin can accidentally burn you, but Kaz catches your wrist placing it between his palms. Today is surely the day of surprises, but you wouldn't change a thing.
– Kaz-, - you want to start telling him, that he shouldn't do that, if it's uncomfortable for him. But that fire in his eyes doesn't let you go on.
– I should have done this long before you told me about your departue, Y/N.
The man sees you lying in front of him, pale and so fragile, that his heart clenches. Now the two of you have plenty of time to talk everything through, but then the door slowly opens with squeaking.
You see Jesper looking out of the corridor and smile weakly to him. With your smile warm around your hand vanishes. You throw a panicked glance at Brekker, but his face becomes a cold mask again.
– How are you feeling, Y/N?
Fahey steps into the room, his tone is light, but wary. You try to sit down when Kaz helps you to lean on soft pillows. With that he stands up, intending to walk out of the room.
This sudden change in the man's behavior doesn't go unnoticed for you and you turn to Jesper.
– Could you come here later, Jes? I have a big talk with Kaz, okay?
Both of men halts instantly looking at you with a kind of confusion, then Jesper shruggs his shoulders and leaves. Brekker, in turn, is still standing in the middle of the room.
– What was it for? - you notice the tense wrinkle between his brows as he takes a step closer to you. – I don't want to-
– What's going on, Kaz?
– What do you mean?
You scan his whole figure and pat the edge of the bed for him to sit near. Hesitating for a secong, the man follows your silent order.
– I didn't want you to leave, Kaz. It's just Jesper, he would ask about my well-being and leave.
– I simply didn't want to ruin your moment, - you frown in confusion.
– What's the moment you are talk- Oh...
– What?
– I know! - you close your mouth with your hand. The sudden realization hits your head like a burglar in the middle of the street. – Kaz, Saints.
He keeps pretending that he doesn't know what you are talking about, but it is pretty clear for both him and you.
– Just don't deny it, Brekker.
– Deny what? I can't deny anything if I-
– You've thought, that I am with Jesper.
He looks at you with a mix of his omnipresent arrogance and confusion, that looks well on him. The fact, that he was worrying about you and your possible relationships, makes your heart beat faster. But it also gives you a topic to think about. He and Inej.
– And you want to tell me that you are not?
He raises a brow, and you can't hold back a short laughter. Even if it means the sudden flash of pain hits your ribs.
It makes you caugh and Kaz helps you to sit fully. He is still holding your hand though. You can be as slow as Brekker sometimes, but he, touching your bake skin with his, gives you enough proof, that everything between him and Inej was your game of imagination.
You gather your inner strength and glance at him not daring to brake eye contact.
– It's you, Kaz. It's always been you, - his fingers twitch slightly on your skin. – Not even death can ever change it.
Kaz keeps his eyes on you, seems, something happens, if he looks away. A sorrowful smirk crosses his face, and the man leans his head.
– You are a better person than I, Y/N.
– I don't think, it's wise to rate it.
You try to support him with a warm smile, and it even seems to work somehow. Then you suddenly remember:
– I will come back to my room-
– No way, - Brekker squeezes your palm, you even wonder how he manages to touch you for this long. – You will stay here, where I can look after you.
He stands up heading somewhere, and after a couple of seconds Kaz returns with bandages for your wound. While he is trying to untangle it, you notice his hands trembling slightly.
Your hand reaches for his and softly covers his fingers. You have never seen him this nervous before. But except for care about you, Brekker has his reputation to uphold.
– I will still be with you. But I could sleep in my own room, so it will not be that obvious. I don't need to-
– No, - his strict glance meets yours confused one. – The Dregs will not care. And others can tell everything they like. I will still be the Bastard of the Barrel.
– Your reputation can be spoiled by this.
He shakes his head.
– Then it is already spoiled. They are fools, if they let my glory rise or fall on this.
Kaz raises his glance and this strange expression makes you forget what you are about to ask. You can only watch him back.
– What? - he just shakes head once again, hesitating to speak.
– I was more than a fool when I let you leave us-
– Leave you.
The corners of your lips go a bit up. His expression reflects yours.
– Leave me, yes. I won't make the same mistake again, though.
– So won't I.
His looks you over in one swift second and furrows.
– What do you mean? - you remember all this nonsense you got to think about him and Inej and only smile.
– Nothing, Kaz, - your thumb is slowly brushing circles on the back of his palm. – It's nothing.
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parkersbliss · 3 years
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Diamonds | K. Brekker
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pairing; kaz brekker x female!reader
warnings: cursing, I think that’s it
wc; 2.3K
synopsis: dirtyhands doesn’t need anyone, but he wants you, even if he can’t have you
prompts: 001: “why do you care?” 047: “please just let me in.”
a/n: this went in a very different direction then I planned but I love it??
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List
Kaz Brekker was a lot of things.
Emotionally unavailable was one of them.
But you never thought much of it. You didn’t think less of him because of that. Surviving the barrel meant being cold, ruthless, and cunning.
Everyone had to have some dark side to them. It was a given.
But Kaz’s dark side never turned off. He was always in a constant state of brooding, thinking about all the ways the plan could fail or coming up with a new heist.
His brain never shuts off.
You never considered that a bad thing, but everyone has to rest eventually.
But rest wasn’t a word in Kaz’s dictionary. For him, resting meant thinking about other things.
Things that he wanted to forget.
So he busied himself with work, numbers, and other things to push the other thoughts out of his mind. Sometimes they were about Jordie and the harbor, sometimes they were about Rollins or you.
Kaz never wanted to forget you, but he didn’t want to think about you either. About the way, your lips curved up into a smile every time Jesper threw his arm around you. Or the way you throw your head back every time Nina makes a joke, the way you sit patiently with Wylan when he tries to read, the way you train so gracefully with Inej, and the way you make fun of Matthias’ accent.
He wants to push it all out of his mind because he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t get how he manages to notice every detail about you.
It would cost him eventually, which is why he didn’t think about it. It’s why he tried to busy himself with things that have nothing to do with you.
But sometimes, it doesn’t always work out that way.
It was moments like these where Kaz is in a constant state of don’t fuck up and don’t say anything.
Which never goes in his favor.
The plan was simple, break-in and walk-out. There were three separate sections to the museum, and the event kept everyone pretty busy.
All you had to do was get in, steal a few jewels and then blend in with the crowd for the rest of the night.
It should be easy enough.
You all dress in your best attire, at least, the best attire that wouldn’t slow you down if you have to run. Kaz’s breath hitches in his throat when he sees you. Silky fabric, exposed skin, and all your beauty.
He nods at you as you fall into step behind him.
“You look nice,” You said.
“Thank you. So do you.”
You all find yourself in an ally by the museum as Inej scales the roof for her way in. You know she’s successful when the back entrance pops open, and she leans against the door frame with a satisfied smile on her face; her green dress trails along the floor as you make your way inside.
Bright fluorescent lights illuminate the hallway, and the sound of heels and Kaz’s cane echo down it. Kaz pick locks the three doors with ease, signaling for the groups of you to go in.
Matthias and Nina are responsible for the smaller riches, Inej, Wylan, and Jesper take care of replacing them, and you and Kaz get the big stuff.
The room sparkles with diamonds, almost blinding you. To Kaz, it smells like money. For each piece stolen, the two of you replace it with a cheaper place holder.
By the time anyone noticed, you would be gone.
You grab a ring off a stand, slipping it on and examining it in the light.
Kaz coughs, and you turn to face him.
He holds the most expensive piece in his hand, a diamond necklace.
It’s worth more than a quarter of a million kruge.
“Woah,” you breathe out. The diamonds are arranged in such a way that it sits close to the neck, and looks like small interconnected leaves.
“Wear it,” Kaz said.
“Kaz-”
“You would look… pretty with it,” The last part is barely above a whisper.
“Okay,” You agree, taking the piece from his hands. Your fingers barely brush his gloved ones as you take the necklace, clasping it around your neck.
Then, Kaz steps back. “I think we got most of it.”
You can’t take all of the riches, but you can take enough to make some serious bank. You exit the room, Kaz locking it after, and meet back in the hallway with everyone else. Inej and Nina both drip in equal expenses and gasp when they see your necklace.
“I almost want to keep it,” You said, touching the diamonds.
“It does look stunning on you,” Nina said.
“I’m sure we have enough to keep that piece,” Inej said, gesturing to the jewelry between you all.
“I do not understand the need for stones to prove one’s worth,” Matthias said.
Nina pats his shoulder, “It’s like you Fjerdans and your fur coats.”
"Witch," Matthias mumbled under his breath.
Kaz takes the lead, directing you to the main room. You can hear the sounds of people chattering, classical music floating in the air. You all split into smaller groups, mostly pairs, to avoid detection.
You and Kaz stay towards the center of the room, observing everyone else and waiting till the event ends.
As Kaz’s eyes sweep the ballroom, yours sweep over his face, familiarizing yourself with his features.
He has sharp cheekbones, fair skin, and a pointed nose. His lips are drawn down into the softest frown, and there are bags under his dark eyes. His eyebrow twitches ever so slightly whenever he sees someone he doesn’t like, and he runs a gloved hand through his hair, slicking it back more if it’s possible.
He was beautiful.
After a few more moments of mingling, they prepare to bring the jewelry out on display. You and Kaz back towards the exit, just in case something goes wrong.
The fake one sparkles just the same, and a clear difference can’t be seen. It’s only glass that Wylan had managed to craft by himself.
The servant gulps, taking careful steps with the case in his hand. His hands shake, and as he takes the first step up the stairs, he stumbles.
It shatters.
The glass scatters across the floor, the fake necklace you planted aside does the same, the pieces landing everywhere.
You can practically feel Kaz tense next to you when the crowd gasps; actual diamonds wouldn’t break.
“Don’t move,” Kaz whispers. He makes a hand gesture to the rest of the Dregs around the room that means remain still. “Act just as surprised.”
On any other occasion, it would be easy, but when the original necklace is dangling from your neck, it’s like an open target for anyone with eyes. Murmurs flow through the crowd, but no one pays any mind to the Dregs because you all look like you belong here. They’re looking for the black sheep among the white.
But they all look just the same.
“We will be conducting manual searches,” The guards announce.
“Saints,” You whisper, hand instinctively grabbing the diamonds on your neck.
“Plan B,” Kaz said. He meets Jesper’s eyes across the room, nodding his head, and Jesper smirks. He grabs one of his revolvers, firing a single shot and tucking it away before anyone notices. The crowd screams, everyone rushing to the exits as more shots are fired from various parties (some from Jesper, some from guards, or others who just love chaos).
You all make a run for it, using the main exit where guards were desperately trying to keep everyone in.
You watch Inej slip through with ease, Nina and Mattias next. Jesper gets held up, but he managed to talk his way out of it as Wylan tugs on his sleeve.
You and Kaz are last, taking your time to avoid being pushed in by the crowd. You could run ahead, get out before Kaz, but you don’t.
You stay by his side and maintain the slow pace, even when there’s a quarter of a million kruge hanging from your neck.
As you approach the exit, you’re one foot out when someone grabs your arm.
“I got her!” The guard shouts. He starts dragging you back inside as you try to dig your heel into their foot.
Then, in the span of a second, a cane comes down on his arm, a clear snap ringing out.
You stumble from their grasp, unknowingly using Kaz’s shoulder to steady yourself. He hisses but says nothing more because as soon as you notice, you let go.
“Nina!” You scream as the guards come pouring out the entrance.
It was clear who the target was.
The heartrender holds up her hands, effectively dropping their beat, but you underestimate how many there are.
“Run!” Jesper shouts.
And you do as you’re told. The guards open fire, and you bunch your dress in your hands, running through the streets of Ketterdam. Kaz begins to fall behind, and you slow down your pace.
“Jes, throw me a revolver!”
“What?”
“Throw it!”
Wylan rolls his eyes, fishing the gun from his boyfriend’s pocket and tossing it at you.
“What are you doing?” Kaz said.
“Saving your ass!” You reply.
“I don’t need your saving!” Kaz retorts, glaring at you.
You roll your eyes, “Fine, I’m covering you.”
“I don’t need that either.”
“Kaz-”
“I don’t need you!”
You nod, turning away from him to hide the hurt on your face. “No, of course, you don't."
You fire a single shot at a guard, busying yourself in taking a few out, so Kaz doesn’t get hit. When he’s a good way ahead, you sprint after the rest of the Dregs. You see the tail of Jesper’s coat disappear down an alleyway.
You fire one last round of shots and duck behind it. You move past Kaz, catching up with Jesper and thanking him.
He smiles, bumping your shoulder. “Anything for the lady.”
The slat is in sight, and you sigh in relief, happy to rest and unload all the jewels everyone is dripping in.
You could only imagine the amount of kruge you’d come up with.
Jesper opens the door for the Dregs, and you all practically collapse on the couch. You Nina and Inej are all on one, kicking off your heels.
“I hate heels,” You said.
“You’re telling me,” Inej replied. “Never again.”
Nina shrugs, “Annoying as hell, but they do work in place of a knife every now and then.”
“I am never without my knives.”
“We know.”
Kaz walks past you all, limping a bit worse than usual and going up to his office.
You don’t bother following after him. Instead, you all dump the jewelry on the table.
“Oh, saints,” Inej gasped.
Jesper leans back in his seat, “I think we’re set.”
“You’ll gamble it all away before we even cash it in,” Matthias said as Jesper scoffed.
“It’ll take me at least a few months to lose that.”
“Months?” Wylan asked.
“Like six tops.”
Everyone begins to argue, and you tune them out. You forgot about the most expensive piece hanging from your neck, absentmindedly playing with it. When you remember, you figure the best thing to do with it is give it up to Kaz.
With a sigh, you stand up, the fabric of your dress falling back into place.
You don’t bother knocking on his door, you know you should, but you didn’t care all that much.
“Here’s your necklace,” You said bitterly, dropping it on his desk.
“(Y/N)-”
“A quarter of a million kruge, enough to set you for life. That’s all you need, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Sure felt like it,” You snap.
“I just-,” Kaz sighed, avoiding your gaze. “Keep the necklace.”
“I don’t want it.”
“You don’t?” Kaz asked, eyebrows raised. “I thought you liked it. You should have it if that’s the case.”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t.”
You click your tongue, “Keep the fucking necklace, Kaz.”
Kaz curses himself, tugging at his hair. He was making the situation much worse. He didn’t know what to say that wouldn't piss you off. He thought the necklace would be like a peace offering, a sign of his thanks.
It backfired on him.
He’s bordering the line of being cold or grateful. When grateful didn’t work in his favor, he went for the other.
“I want you to have it.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Please, take it.”
“It’s worth money. That’s far more important to both of us.”
Kaz shuts his eyes, “(Y/N), please.”
And you know this isn't about the necklace anymore. It never really was.
You shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest. You were tired of pretending to brush off your feelings. It was killing you. Every time you tried to do something, Kaz pushed you back. You couldn't keep doing this to yourself.
“You either want this, or you don’t. Which one is it?”
“Please,” he said softly.
You sigh, blinking harshly. Your heart hammers in your chest. You take a breath, trying to calm yourself.
“Kaz, I need you,” You said softly, “Please just let me in.”
“I can’t,” He said, voice strained as he fights his demons. God, he wants to, but he's scared. He's scared of pushing you away or hurting either of you in the process. He couldn't go through that kind of loss again.
“I will wait,” You said. “I will wait as long as you need. I just need to know that you’re in this too.”
Kaz meets your eyes. His are glassy as he holds the necklace tightly in his hands, running his gloved fingers over the diamonds.
He could lose you.
And that is far worse than not having you at all.
He slowly peels his gloves off. His movements are slow and deliberate, taking his time. When they’re off, he grabs the necklace and stands up.
You hold your breath as he stands behind you, brushing your hair out of the way. His fingers just barely dance across your skin, but they’re there.
He clasps the necklace, and you turn around to face him.
“Kaz?” You question.
“I need you too, (Y/N).”
“I’m not leaving," You assure him.
“Good. We’re in this.”
“We’re in this.”
1K notes · View notes
darling-i-read-it · 3 years
Text
Goodnight Kaz
Kaz Brekker x fem!reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: touch aversion, self blame
Author’s Note: this was so mellow and cute so I really hope you like the vibe I took on it! There's like five lines of dialogue lol but I thought it fit. Enjoy love!
Requested: by anon, Hi gorgeous I’m back!! So remember about that Kaz request I talked to you about? Well here it goes: after a tough job, everyone is mentally exhausted and it’s really a bad evening for them all. Reader just decides to go to bed but Kaz stays in his office, wallowing over how they (and more importantly how he) screwed up. Finally, he realizes that he’s just...not feeling good, especially all alone in his office so he goes up to reader bedroom. He kind of does it instinctively, he only realizes what he’s doing after he has knocked on reader’s bedroom door. She lets him in and he doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t even know why he’s here. Of course, he’s very close to reader and we could even say they’re...a thing but it’s Kaz and he sucks with anything related to emotions. Regardless, reader sees how tired he looks and tries to ease his mind by telling him he shouldn’t beat himself up too much but out of the blue, he asks if he can stay for the night. It’s surprising but reader surely won’t turn him down, she gives him enough space on the bed because she’s aware of his touch aversion. Even more surprising, he extends his hand to hold hers when the room is dark. They don’t talk but it’s comforting and somehow has a sense of familiarity. They end up falling asleep holding hands, feeling at peace - 🥰
Summary: the request
I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator
(not my gif)
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Inej could feel the dread on the walk back to everyone’ respective houses. She didn’t understand how things could have gone so wrong. Kaz’s plans always went well. Even if they went wrong, he planned how they would go wrong.
But tonight had gone wrong in every way it could have.
Jesper noted his place. He looked over at his friends, wondering if they were going to be okay for the night. Inej looked like she would live but she was the strongest out of all of them, he wasn’t worried about her.
You looked like you needed a good night's sleep and something to drink but you could make it. Kaz looked the worst. Jesper wasn’t surprised. This was potentially Kaz’s first big mess up in a long time. Jesper couldn’t even remember the last time that Kaz had messed up this bad. He was human and far too often the rest of the crows forgot that. He could mess up just as much as the rest of them and he simply didn’t.
Jesper put his hand on your shoulder. You stopped walking and turned to him, standing at the foot of his home.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said quietly. You nodded stiffly and almost hugged him but thought better of it. He was the one who could have been seriously hurt because of this job. Thankfully he had just narrowly managed to escape the danger, leaving unscathed.
“Sleep well Jes,” you whispered. He nodded and watched as you walked to catch up with Inej and Kaz. You walked quickly beside them, trying to keep up with Inej’s nimble footing.
“I’m going to my office,” Kaz said. You and Inej shared a look.
“You don’t think you should get some re-” Inej started but he cut her off.
“No.”
He walked past the both of you. You and Inej stood together and watched him leave. He could handle himself.
“Do you think he’ll be alright?” you asked quietly. Inej was silent for a moment and thought about the day.
“He will be. Just maybe not as soon as he thinks.” You nodded curtly and looked down at your hands then back at her face. Calm, as always.
“I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow Inej.” She gave you a small graceful smile before you slipped away again into your room.
It was a nice place. It wasn’t your favorite place but it was nice and it had a bed which was good enough for you. You started to take off your weapons and put them down on the table as you got ready to sleep.
====
Kaz sat behind his desk.
He should go to bed, Inej was right but he couldn’t. In front of him were the plans for the job he had just done. They were wrong. Now he could tell where he had gone wrong. Hindsight was 20/20.
He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there for, looking over those papers, burning them and then fishing them out of the fire again. He could have gotten Jesper seriously hurt. He could have gotten Inej hurt. He could have gotten you hurt.
The idea made him uneasy and not a lot made him uneasy anymore.
He looked up at the ceiling. A pit had formed in his stomach. He chalked it up to the guilt of what he had done but it wasn’t a feeling he had often.
So he sat there for longer than he should have, trying to figure out how to stop it. Finally he stood up, not quite sure what he was doing other than that he was walking out of this damn office. He walked for a while and then stopped.
Kaz was at your door. He took a moment to try and remember if he had intended to go there in the first place. You and Kaz had always been close. Ever since you had met you had an unspoken understanding. You were the very first person who he told about Jordie Rievtveld.
Suddenly you opened the door. His eyes went wide.
“How did you know I was here?” he questioned. You leaned against the doorframe.
“You knocked.” His hand was still up and in a fist. He brought it down.
“I didn’t realize…” He stopped and shook his head, refusing to meet your eyes.
“Come in Kaz.” You moved aside and he walked in without thinking about it, much like how he made it there in the first place. You closed the door behind him.
You never ceased to amaze him with how much you understood him. Some days he resented it. He wanted to be a mystery to everyone and he just wasn’t to you.
You were wearing comfier clothing, obviously ready for bed. Your small home was lit with lots of candles, littered around your home. That and a single lamp in the corner. It was cozy. Cozier than his home.
He had bags under his eyes. He needed to sleep.
“Please don’t beat yourself up too much over today Kaz. It wasn’t just your fa-”
“Can I stay the night?” Your eyes went wide. He was facing away from you so you couldn’t see his expression. You were surprised but pleased.
“Of course. There’s room enough on the bed for both of us and plenty of space,” you promised. Kaz opened his mouth like he was going to protest but closed it just as quickly. You were going to make him sleep on the bed, alone or not. The idea soothed him. Being so close to you without having to touch you. “You’re going to need something more comfortable than that though. Take a shower, I’ll go back to yours and grab some clothes.” He was still wearing the clothes he wore on the job, dirt and grime all over his face.
“You don’t have to-”
“I want to.” He wasn’t in the mood to protest so he just walked to your bathroom.
The shower felt heavenly and by the time he got out his clothes were sitting on the counter beside him.
You were waiting for him on the bed, flipping through a book in the candle light. You put it down when he walked in. He brushed his wet hair back and sat down on the bed facing away from you. You smiled briefly and put your book down beside the bed, blowing out the candle near you. You got up and turned off the lamp. Some dim light came in through the small window.
Then you slipped under the covers and he finally turned to you. He did the same, getting underneath your warm blankets. You faced each other. You wanted nothing more than to hold his cheek and tell him everything was going to be alright but you stopped yourself, forcing yourself to be content with the moment.
You could only make out the outline of his face in the darkness as your eyes adjusted.
You started to close your eyes when you felt his finger brush yours. Your eyes opened again slowly and he intertwined your fingers. You saw his features. They were determined. He had to pull away again quickly but he didn’t miss the small smile on your face.
“It’s going to be okay,” you whispered. He let your words wash over him and he closed his eyes slowly.
“Goodnight,” he muttered back. You smiled at his soft tone.
“Goodnight Kaz.”
214 notes · View notes
triptuckers · 3 years
Text
Looking at the wrong one - Jesper Fahey
Request: yes! “Firstly, I just want to say I really love your writing! I’ve had this idea for a while and wanting to find someone to write it because I love it so much. So basically reader has feelings for Kaz but he’s obviously in love with Inej so she confides in Jesper who comforts her and she eventually realizes that he’s been the one for her the whole time. I hope you can write it but if you can’t that’s totally fine too!!” Pairing:  Jesper Fahey x reader Summary:  Jesper is the first person you go to when you need advice about something - or rather, someone. It takes you a while to realise you’ve been sneaking glances at the wrong person. Warnings: none Word count:  2.7K A/N: I loved this request sm!! been busy busy busy lately so sorry if your request is taking a while for me to write, finish and post! enjoy reading :)
You glance over at Kaz while he’s explaining the blueprints laid out in front of everyone. You’re trying to pay attention to what he’s saying, you really are, but it’s hard. It’s hard to focus on what he’s saying when Kaz is the one who’s talking. 
There’s no denying it, Kaz looks good. For weeks you tried to push your feelings away, but soon what started as a little crush developed into something more. And now you can barely keep your eyes off of him. 
There’s just something about his mysterious aura. The dark hair, sharp jaw, how he never seems to smile - though you did catch him smile once when he thought no one was looking. There’s so much you don’t know about him, and you’re dying to find out. 
Apparently, you’ve been staring at Kaz for a little too long, because you feel someone nudging your shoulder, and turn to face them.
‘You know.’ mutters Jesper to you from the corner of his mouth. ‘If you want to talk about it, or just need to rant and have someone listen to you, I’m always here. I’ve heard I’m excellent company.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ you say. ‘Do you think we can pull this job of?’ 
You hoped Jesper wouldn’t ask about Kaz again, and he senses your need to change the subject.
‘We better.’ he says. ‘We can score big with this one.’
Jesper starts talking about what he’s going to do once the job is done, but your eyes are already shifting back to Kaz. You can’t help but to feel a knot in your chest as you see him looking at Inej.
While you’re always looking at Kaz, you catch him looking at Inej. 
Inej is one of your closest friends, and you would die for her. Hell, you almost did die for her a couple of months ago. Still, you couldn’t help but to feel jealous of her. Of the way Kaz looked at her.
Whenever Kaz was looking at Inej and you caught him, it didn’t take long for you to fall down a rabbit hole of insecure and jealous thoughts.
You’d think of everything Inej can do that you cannot do. She has a gifts for knives, you know your way around guns, not knives. When she’s sneaking around, she almost becomes one with the shadows, you couldn’t soundlessly sneak up to someone even if you tried. 
You always concluded Inej was better than you on more than one aspect. You figured she would be a better match for Kaz than you could ever be. You were ashamed of being so jealous of your friend when all Kaz did was look at her. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get rid of the jealousy. 
After Kaz has rolled up the blueprints and everyone went over the plan one last time, you say your goodnights and all head back to your own rooms. You’re barely aware of your movements as your legs carry you to your room. When you move to open the door to your room, a familiar whistle makes you look up.
‘The offer for some company still stands.’ says Jesper, and he winks at you before entering his own room, next to yours in the hallway.
While Jesper didn’t have Kaz’ gift for coming up with plans, he wasn’t stupid. He had caught you looking at Kaz a couple of times, then decided to speak up. As soon as the opportunity presented himself, he’d taken you apart from the others and confronted you about your staring. 
You were shocked, asking him how he could have possible figured it out. Jesper merely raised his eyebrows and told you you’re always looking at Kaz. You hadn’t realised you looked at Kaz so many times. Ever since, Jesper has offered a listening ear. And though you appreciated it, you weren’t ready to talk about your feelings just yet. 
As you’re taking your boots off, your mind wanders to Kaz again. And the way he looked at Inej. He didn’t show his feelings that often, but you couldn’t help but notice how soft his eyes were when he looked at Inej. It drove you crazy, and you didn’t like that it did. You felt like you were going to explode if you kept pushing these feelings down any longer. Maybe having someone listen to you didn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.
Not bothering to put your boots back on, you get up and leave your room. You take a few steps to get in front of Jesper’s door. Though it’s not that late and he’s probably still awake, you hesitate. What if he just wanted to be a good friend, but wasn’t actually interested in your thoughts on Kaz?
You sigh and shake your head, clearing your mind. You then raise your hand and knock on the door. After a few seconds it opens, revealing Jesper. He’s taken off his coat and boots, leaving him in just a shirt and a pair of trousers. He smiles when he sees you.
‘I see you do want my company?’ he says. ‘Only if you don’t mind.’ you say. ‘Of course not.’ he says, stepping aside so you can enter his room.
You take a seat in the only chair in the room as Jesper closes the door. He walks over to his bed and sits down as you tuck your feet under your legs, getting comfortable.
‘So.’ says Jesper. ‘Am I problem solving or listening?’
You frown at his words. ‘What does that mean?’ you ask him.
‘Well, it’s the easiest way to prevent a fight.’ explains Jesper. ‘If I’m problem solving, I’ll give you advice and come up with solutions. If I’m listening, I’m just going to shut up and, well, listen. So, am I problem solving or listening?’
‘Listening, I guess.’ you say.
‘Alright.’ says Jesper, leaning back against the wall and stretching his legs in front of him. He gestures with his hand to you. ‘Let it all out then, love.’
You don’t know where to begin. Jesper is patient as you’re searching for the words. Without realising, you start to play with your fingers, a habit of yours which you do when you’re thinking or anxious.
‘It starts... Well, when I became a member of the Dregs, I guess. I was young, but Kaz was around my age. We became close friends. That is, as far as being close friends with Kaz goes. I trusted him, he trusted me. We spent months working our way up to the top and along the way you tagged along, and Inej, Nina, Matthias and Wylan. I care about all of you, but there’s just something  different about Kaz.’ you tell him.
Jesper looks at you but doesn’t say anything. He’s just listening, exactly like he said he would.
‘It started off as an innocent crush. Saints, I sound like some school girl. Anyway, somewhere along the way that little crush developed into something more. And now I can’t stop looking at him or thinking about him. And now that I’ve said this out loud, I realise you are the first person I’ve talked to about this.’ 
You’re silent for a while as you look at Jesper. You were afraid he’d laugh at you, but he’s just sitting on his bed, looking at you. 
‘I can tell there’s still something else on your mind.’ he simply says. You let out a sigh and nod, and start talking again.
‘He’s always looking at Inej. Whenever I look at him, he’s looking at Inej. I know I shouldn’t feel the way I do, but I cannot pretend it doesn't make me a little jealous. The first time I saw him looking at Inej, I wished he looked at me like that. I know this sounds stupid, but I really can’t help it. And once I catch him looking at her, I start to think about how I’m not worth it.’ you say.
Now Jesper frowns. ‘But you’re worth it.’ he says. You chuckle softly and shake your head.
‘She’s everything I’m not. She’s pretty, she’s very skilled with her knives, she can sneak up to anyone without being seen or heard. She knows the secrets of everyone in the Barrel. She could take down the Merchant council all on her own if she wanted to. I can’t do that.’ you say. 
‘I know I said I was listening, but can I just offer you one piece of advice?’ asks Jesper. You nod. ‘You say you notice the way Kaz looks at Inej, I have noticed that as well. He looks at her the way you look at him. Don’t you think you should try to admit to yourself that he’s only going to be looking at her, and not you?’
‘Deep down I know that.’ you say softly. ‘But I can’t fully wrap my head around that. Not just yet, at least.’
‘Alright.’ says Jesper. ‘Maybe not now, but if you give it time, maybe it’ll hurt less.’
You look at him and smile as you get up. ‘Thank you Jesper.’ you say. ‘This is nice. Having someone listen to you.’
Jesper gets up as well as you walk toward the door. ‘The door’s always open to you.’ says Jesper as he opens the door for you. ‘You can always swing by.’
‘Thanks.’ you say as you step out onto the hallway. ‘Goodnight, Jes.’  ‘Night, Y/N.’ he says as you walk the few steps to the door of your room.
After that conversation, your nightly visits to Jesper’s room increase. Sometimes he’s problem solving, sometimes he’s listening, and sometimes you just sit in silence when all you want is some company.
There’s even one night in which you actually fell asleep when you were sitting on his bed, and when you woke up the next morning, you found Jesper sleeping on the floor while using his coat as a blanket. Your heart melted a little, but you decided not to speak up as you snuck out of his room.
Weeks pass, and slowly your visits turn from seeking advice about Kaz to enjoying a conversation with Jesper. He makes you laugh as he tells you stories about how he used to drive his parents crazy doing god knows what at their farm. In return, you tell him about the life you lived before you came to Ketterdam.
Another couple of visits later, and you’ve almost completely forgotten that you originally started visiting Jesper to talk about Kaz. You notice you’ve stopped sneaking glances at Kaz. You’re not even jealous when you catch him looking at Inej again. 
Instead, your attention is on Jesper. More than once, he caught your eye and sent a wink you way, making you smile and turn away.
Your nightly visits increase even more, and you can be found in Jesper’s room almost every night, laughing at his jokes.  
After a particularly long night that involved keeping tabs on the security of one of the banks for hours, you find yourself in front of Jesper’s room again. Kaz had sent you out on the job, and you had hoped Jesper would be in his room when you got back.
But after knocking three times, he still hasn’t opened the door. You whistle a familiar tune, hoping he’d answer the door. When he doesn’t, you kick over a tiny tin can that sits on the floor next to the door.
‘So predictable.’ you murmur as you bend down to pick up the key that was underneath it. Knowing Jesper probably wouldn’t mind, you let yourself in and walk over to the only chair in the room.
You let yourself settle in and reach out to take the deck of cards Jesper always keeps on his nightstand. 
You’re fooling around with the cards, if only to keep yourself busy as you wait for Jesper. You’re shuffling the cards, moving them smoothly in your hands.
‘Can you teach me that?’ 
At the sudden voice, you drop half of the cards. You hadn’t seen or heard him coming. Jesper chuckles as he walks over and stands behind you, looking out over the city beneath you.
‘This is my favourite view.’ he says, looking out the window.
‘Mine too.’ you say, while you look at the reflection of his face in the window. You then fully realise you haven’t talked about Kaz in weeks, that you just come to Jesper’s room for a conversation and some company, and you remember the night he slept on the floor.
‘Jes?’ you ask him. ‘Yea love?’ he says. ‘The other night when I was here-’ ‘Care to specify which night?’ 
‘I fell asleep, and when I woke up you were sleeping on the floor.’ ‘Oh, that night.’ he says. ‘Well, would you rather I had pushed you off the bed?’ ‘No.’ you laugh.
Jesper laughs too and you look at each other in silence afterward. It’s a comfortable silence, and he’s the first one to speak up.
‘You haven’t talked about Kaz in a while.’ he says. ‘Finally realised his heart belongs to someone else?’
‘Yes, well, I realised that so does mine.’ you say. This makes Jesper frown. 
‘Already moving on?’ he says. ‘Thought your feelings for him were more serious.’
‘They were.’ you say. ‘But I've found someone who listens to me, who sees me, who makes me laugh.’ you cock your head to the side a little and look at him. ‘Nice to look at, as well.’
Jesper raises one eyebrow.
‘Who is this mystery person?’ he says. ‘And am I problem solving or listening?’ ‘Well I hope you’re gonna do something else.’ you say. Jesper frowns again, making you playfully roll your eyes.
‘Not the smartest tonight, are we?’ you say. ‘Let me repeat it: I've found someone who listens to me, sees me, and makes me laugh. and not bad to look at.’ 
He’s still frowning. ‘Another hint?’ he says. ‘This is why Kaz does the planning and has the brains.’ you say, laughing.‘Rude.’ says Jesper.
‘It’s a he, and he’s caring and sweet, sometimes struggles to sit still, loves a good gunfight, he’s an excellent shot.’ you say.
Jesper smirks at you and then fakes a look of confusion on his face. ‘Still not getting it.’ he says. ‘Tell me more about him.’
You laugh and get up, standing close to him. ‘He’s not just an excellent shot, he’s the best damn sharpshooter in Ketterdam. Saved my ass a couple times as well. Owns a pair of stunningly hand made revolvers. He’s Zemini, taller than me, and..’ your voice drifts off.
‘And?’ says Jesper, stepping closer to you. ‘And I've been wondering if he’s a good kisser.’ you say softly. 
‘Well, let’s find out, shall we?’ says Jesper and he cups your face with both of his hands and presses his lips against yours. They’re soft, and you can taste a hint of his last drink on them. He kisses you gently but passionate, and takes a  breath when he pulls away.
‘Hmm.’ you say, pretending to think. ‘Yea, pretty good.’
‘Pretty good?’ says Jesper. ‘I've heard I'm more than a pretty good kisser.’
‘Prove it then.’ you say.
Jesper smirks and pulls you in for a kiss once more. This one is different, it’s more demanding, and leaves you breathless as you struggle to keep your knees from buckling. 
He pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. ‘How about that?’ he says softly.
You smile and press a quick kiss to his lips. ‘You live up to your reputation, Fahey.’ you say. ‘You’re an excellent kisser.’
‘Just like I thought.’ says Jesper. ‘Do you want to stay here tonight?’
‘I would love to.’ you say.
You spend the rest of the night talking with Jesper until eventually, you feel yourself falling asleep. You feel how Jesper moves next to you, to take his spot on the floor again. You lay a hand on his arm to stop him, silently telling him it’s okay and that he doesn’t have to sleep on the floor.
Kaz wasn’t the right match for you, Inej is. But Jesper certainly is your match.
A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit
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jackwolfes · 2 years
Text
He wakes up to the rattling of gunfire and startles to his feet before he’s even fully awake. Quick reflexes, he thinks, as always, except now it’s the difference between him living and dying. Saints, what a thrill that is. It’s a shock to his system.
Black Veil is cold and dreary all the time except now it’s filled with colour and chaos. There are bodies, so many of them, all dressed in Barrel flash that it’s become indistinguishable. Jesper can barely see his people, his crew, lost to the flood of bodies and popping guns and –
His eyes catch on something across the room.
Quick reflexes, as always, because he’s on his feet as soon as he sees someone grabbing Kuwei. Jesper lets out a shout, shoving over discarded plans and Wylan's chemicals, trying to reach--
Kuwei screams, again, a wordless noise, and that’s when Jesper realises.
That isn’t Kuwei.
He fumbles for his guns before realising he doesn’t fucking have them anymore, lost to some pathetic fucking man who was preoccupied groping Nina Zenik but still took his fucking guns. He shouts for something, anything, like that will do anything at all, but no one hears, no one helps.
He turns back.
“Wy-”
Wylan turns with a sharp look in his eyes, with fear and dread but startling bravery, and shakes his head, desperately. There’s a hand on Jesper’s arm before he can argue back, before he can get to him and kick off; then he’s being hauled backwards, out of the room through a stone door, and he can’t fight back. He can’t do anything. He could if it was Kaz, with a kick to his bad knee, but Matthias is stronger, and knows how to disarm someone.
He’s thrown onto a boat and held down with a hand on the back of his neck, which makes him angry. He fumes, being forced not to struggle, even if he knows that it’s probably the right move. At the moment he’s ready to throw down regardless of whether that tips them all into the canal.
But when they dock and get out, oh -
“You useless fucking skiv,” he snarls, striding up to Kaz and shoving him hard, until his back hits a wall. The cold, damp stone of the Geldrenner’s basement entrance. The sound echoes, and Jesper doesn’t care.
“We had to get Kuwei out unseen,” he replies, voice disgustingly even, cruelly pragmatic.
“So you’ll just throw Wylan back to his dad like he’s bait?”
“Wylan isn’t worth four million kruge,” Kaz counters, and Jesper sees red.
“He’s worth every damn thing,” Jesper spits.
“Just because you have a puppy crush-”
Matthias steps in and grabs his wrist before Jesper can follow through on a swing, but he struggles hard enough to make their Fjerdan work to keep him back.
“I’ll fucking kill you, Brekker,” he yells, “You’re a slimy, pathetic man!”
“He’s always been bait, Fahey,” he snaps back, “Always.”
He struggles harder against Matthias’ hold.
“Jes, calm down,” Inej says, and if it was anyone else he’d probably swing at her too. But it’s Inej, and the fight goes out of him in seconds.
Matthias lets go, but Jesper yanks his arm back with more force than necessary just to make it difficult for him. They’re the same height, which is strange for Jesper, but stretches up to his full height and stares him cold in the eye.
“Don’t you fucking dare hold me down like that ever again,” he snarls, stepping up close to him. Matthias doesn’t cower or step back or even look concerned, but Jesper means every fucking word with a rage, with a violence, that surprises him. “I’ll fucking kill you.”
He leaves before he hears a reply.
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nazyalenskyism · 3 years
Text
Unusual Encounters
A/N: This fic is for the GVBB's mini bang @grishaversebigbang! We're so excited that we get to finally share our works with with you!  @sketcherooroo ‘s fantastic art for this fic can be found here, and @art-by-me19 ‘s fantastic art for this fic can be found here!
Summary: With impossible stakes on the line for both the Ravkans and the Crows, the last quiet moments before the chaotic auction provide a brief opportunity for peace.
Ao3: Unusual Encounters
        “You don’t trust them,” Inej’s voice whispered in his ear. She had quietly found her way to his shoulder, as she always had but something was different now. Ever since he’d caught her eye at the Slat, when she’d nearly leapt down to avenge him in what she’d thought were his final moments, he could sense that she saw through him, truly saw him. It was a feeling he had avoided, when his Crows tried to get to know him, or other bosses tried to figure him out, he’d evaded their attempts as easily as he slipped out of handcuffs. But Inej was different, she always had been. Even when he had guarded himself from her, she had always been able to find a way to understand him. It was an unspoken part of the pact they shared.
        “I don’t trust anyone.”
        He could feel her gaze on him without turning to confirm it, the dark brown of her eyes posing a question, maybe a challenge,  don’t you? And she was right, didn’t he trust her? He had trusted her with his secrets for years, as much as he hated to think that he had let anyone know any part more of him than the lies he’d built around himself, he trusted Inej, and that was the truth. Fortunately for him, he was not virtuous or honorable like his Wraith and therefore he had no issue with lying, it was what thieves and conmen did, and he felt no shame in that.         He ignored the look. “I don’t need to trust them. They care about their country, they were desperate enough to come make a deal with a thief from the Barrel because they have no other choice. They need Kuwei to save the Grisha, and they will pay any price for that. The idea that they could let him slip from their fingers is so unfathomable that I don’t need to trust them. Their position makes them predictable.” 
        Kaz flipped his pen between his fingers, allowing himself a moment to contemplate. He believed that what he had told Inej was the truth, but there was something about the Ravkans that made him want to hesitate. He had never played games alongside Kings before, and while he’d heard much about the incompetence of the Fjerdan king and the old Ravkan King, there were fewer whispers about the current king than there were shouting remarks. People in Little Ravka had hung banners for the new king, singing about the Boy King, the King of Scars, who had supposedly been taken prisoner and tortured by the Darkling. Kaz didn’t care about Ravkan politics, but in his business, secrets and knowing your surroundings were key, and there was something to be said of a man who had been king for years, yet had managed to keep any rumors from finding their way down into Inej’s hands, and then Kaz’s. Perhaps there was even more to the royal than Kaz had let himself see. He would have to keep note of that, no good came from underestimating your allies and enemies.
        “You like him,” Inej mused, following his line of sight to the boy king turned pirate, “why?”         “I don’t like anyone, Wraith.”
        “You like Jes,” Inej countered, “you like Wylan and Nina, maybe even Kuwei and Matthias, and you like--” she broke off, turning away from him. Kaz desperately wanted to reach out and say, what, exactly? That he did like her, that it was more than like, that he valued her beyond her talents. That he appreciated her strength, her light, the magic she brought into his world that he had long since dreamt was impossible to conjure? But they didn’t have time for that, and she did not want to hear those words from him. 
        “Would you trust a pirate?”
        “He’s a privateer Kaz, authorized by the Ravkan king to be here, accompanied with the highest ranking Grisha in the world.” 
        “You didn’t answer the question,” he rasped, amusement pulling at him.
        “If I’ve learned anything from you, it’s to never trust anyone, so no,” she relented, hand brushing over her knives, and he knew she must be asking the Saints to spare them a betrayal.         Kaz knew that if they did face a betrayal, he would put money on his crew to come out on top any day.                                                                ***
        “Look at them,” Zoya hissed from over his shoulder. They were mulling over the plan they had concocted for the auction the following day, hunched over a desk in the corner of the room. 
        “Who, Nazyalensky?”         “Nina, her Fjerdan, the Wraith, the Barrel rat, the Grisha and the merchant boy, the whole lot of reprobates.”
        “So, everyone?” Nikolai muttered, amending the papers before him, the inner workings of Mister Brekker’s mind laid out before him. The plan was clever, but to someone who had built their life upon being clever, he could tell there were obvious omissions, Brekker was clearly up to something more than what he’d written down, but Nikolai would expect nothing less from the boy who’d orchestrated a heist into the Ice Court.             “You should be more worried,” she huffed, snatching the pen from his hand to scribble something down, “they’re not trustworthy.”
        “I don’t trust them, Nazyalensky. We’re simply allied towards a common goal.”
        “Allies don’t trust one another?”
        “I believe they’ll keep their side of the deal because they want their money, and they want Kuwei to make it out of Kerch alive. We are useful to them for that reason, so they won’t break the deal.”
        “So our plans hinge on the wants of a group of children?”
        “You were about their age during the civil war,” Nikolai said, “besides, I thought you would be elated that she’s alive,” he hummed, thinking back to how devastated Zoya had been when she’d come back from the mission where Nina went missing. She’d spent weeks searching for the girl, and it was only an order from him that had brought her back from searching the oceans for that Drüskelle ship, and though she’d never said it, Nikolai knew she had resented him for it.         “She’s being reckless! A Fjerdan— not to mention a Drüskelle? What is she thinking?”
        “That she loves him.” In the corner of the room, Nina sat with her legs splayed out over the boy-- Matthias’ lap as she indulged in a plate of waffles, heaping with whipped cream and strawberries. The Fjerdan simply smiled as Nina rambled on about the exact viscosity required for syrup to best enhance the waffle-eating experience, the smile transforming into reddening cheeks and an abashed look when she dalloped cream onto his nose.
        Zoya huffed, looking away from the pair, “love is for fools.”
        Nikolai cut her a glance, “ruthless as always, Commander. They found each other and despite all circumstances managed to fall in love. That’s the stuff stories are made of.”
        “You need to cut down on the novels, you’re too much of a romantic already. I fear for your future bride.”         “Not marriage talk again, Nazyalensky. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were trying to get rid of me.”         “Clearly I’m failing,” Zoya muttered as Brekker motioned for everyone to gather round to discuss the plan. “If I had been successful, you’d be bobbing for herring in a canal.” 
        Brekker raised a gloved finger causing his gang to quiet like a group of children falling in line before their governess. Interesting. Not only was the thief an expert in disguise and evading attention, but commanding it was another skill entirely. Nikolai wondered what scars the boy bore, to don gloves like Nikolai’s own. What horrors caused a 17 year old to rise to being the most notorious Barrel Boss in Ketterdam, after years of climbing up the ladder and making a monstrous name for himself?  
        “Everyone out except the Grisha and the Pirate.” 
        “Did you hear that, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai muttered under his breath as the others began to protest, “‘the Grisha and the Pirate. Sounds like a rousing title for a play, though I do prefer ‘The World’s Handsomest, Most Skilled Privateer, and the Grisha.” 
        “I prefer, “The Pirate Who Finally Shut up Because the Grisha Ripped Out His tongue.”
        “Privateer,” he corrected, returning her glare with a wink. “Such vivid imagery, Commander, have you ever considered becoming a playwright?”         “Perhaps I’ll pursue that avenue once this plan goes to hell and our country falls because of it. I’m sure it pays better.” 
        Nikolai laughed, their attention turning back to the gang as Brekker held up a hand again, “we will discuss the final plan once the details have been agreed upon and the Ravkans are back at their embassy.” 
        The tall Zemeni boy-- Jesper, halted on his way out of the room, peering back around the door, “what about the airship?”
        “What?” Kaz’s voice was irritable, or perhaps that’s how it always sounded. Then again, Nikolai thought as he caught Brekker’s eyes drifting towards the girl perched on the open window sill behind him, sunlight glinting against her plait, firing a similar light behind his eyes, maybe not always.         “Perhaps if you visit Ravka, you’ll get a chance then,” Nikolai replied coyly, winking at the boy.         “Yes,” Zoya added, as he let out a laugh, turning around to leave, “you’ll find that doors in Ravka are always open to those wanting to seek entry.”
        “What was that?” Nikolai muttered as the others followed the boy out, “that was so cryptic that I barely put it together.”
        “How else was I supposed to allude to it, Sturmhond? I can’t very well say, ‘you’re a Grisha, you should come to train at the Little Palace right this instant?’ You’re the brains, I’m the muscle.”         “Why, Zoya, did you just call me smart?” 
        “You’re as smart as I am pleasant,” she retorted, moving towards the table Brekker and the Wraith were at.         “Fortunately for me, I find your company to be nothing short of intoxicating, Nazyalensky.”
        She rolled her eyes as they sat down across from Brekker and the girl named Inej, Nikolai spreading their plans out next to Kaz’s. 
        “So,” he said, letting the voice of authority slip him as easily as he slipped into his teal frock coat, “where do we begin?”
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klbwriting · 3 years
Text
Unexpected Allies - Chapter 18
Fandom: Six of Crows
Pairing: Kaz/female!Reader
Summary: Kaz puts his plan to work
Notes: still no interactions between the pair and I miss the cuteness together, but this is cute too, last few chapters after, sorry guys
Taglist:  @mcntsee @amwitherspoon @cxlpxrnia @fcvcritecrime​ @aysegust​ @sagewrites111​ @spawn0fsatan​ @itsemy01 @thedelusionreaderbitch
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              The Darkling was loving having Y/N on a leash. Whenever she was asleep she was chained to her bed, and whenever she was out of her room she was being led around by a Corporalki or the Darkling himself.  He was enjoying her being prisoner, waiting until the Fabrikator who had made the dampener could make something for him to control her power completely.  He had realized by now that she didn’t drink the parem, that she was just born different, and he relegated her to a weapon at his disposal.  She was in constant pain and becoming sickly from not using her power, almost like it was draining from her completely.  
              By the time Jesper arrived about a week after she had been captured and she had never seen him look so angry.  He was led into the Darkling’s office and was waiting when Aleksander pulled her in, hands cuffed to her sides as she had tried to claw his eyes out on her first day there.  Jesper glared at her, his eyes appearing dead, and she felt her heart stop.  What had happened to make him like this?  Why was it like she was the center of his rage?  
              “I remember you, didn’t my dear puppy break you out of prison?” the Darkling asked, sitting in his chair while Y/N stood by him. Jesper threw her a disinterested glance and nodded.  “So why come back?  Are you turning yourself in?”
              “I’m here to make a deal with you Darkling,” he said, voice dripping with malice.  “You see, I went to help her meet you and then I came back without her. You know what they did to me? Sent me running with a couple of broken ribs.  Told me I was useless, a Grisha who couldn’t protect his own.”   Y/N gasped, she had no idea Jesper was a Grisha.  He glared at her.  “Ya, you came along and ruined everything.  Well Darkling let me stay here, train up, I’ll tell you everything about the resistance.”  The Darkling smirked, considering this offer.
              “I need proof that you’re Grisha, show me what you can do,” he instructed.  Jesper looked around before picking up and iron chess piece from the set nearby.  He set it on the desk and held his hand over it, focusing and forming the metal until it was shaped like a pistol.  The Darkling nodded, clapping once.  “Impressive, yes with some training and you’d be very helpful to my Fabrikators.”  He glanced at Y/N.  “You didn’t tell me you had such talented friends.  Perhaps Jesper here will be a little more helpful than you.”  Jesper chuckled.
              “Can’t imagine how helpful she is, she never leaves his tent, only goes to see Mal,” he grumbled.  The caught the Darkling’s attention and he turned back to Jesper.  “O ya, Mal, that guy I guess Alina was tumbling with, he’s leading the whole thing.  They’re camped around 39 miles northwest of Sarkoff’s prison, hidden by a big forest with a river surrounding it.”  
              “Well, thank you,” Aleksander said.  He motioned for one of his lackeys to go and use that information to find them.  “So we have Mal, I know how to handle him, what about this tent she’s always in, who is so interesting in there?”
              “Well he was my boss, sometimes my friend, changed whenever I let you get her though, he’s the one who kicked me out.  His name is Kaz Brekker and he’s a piece of work,” Jesper started.  The Darkling nodded for him to continue.  “Ya, crippled kid who can’t walk right, smart though, ran our gang, was running the whole resistance, right under Mal’s nose.  He didn’t like that, the place is in shambles, all infighting.  Should be easy pickings.  And if you want her to become a good little puppy again you should start by killing Kaz Brekker, she’ll be an empty shell then.”
              “Jesper stop!  What’s the matter with you!  Why are you doing this?” Y/N said, begging for him to stop.  Jesper just stood.  
              “May I?” Jesper asked, motioning to Y/N.  The Darkling nodded.  “You can shut up Y/N , Kaz is nothing now that you’re around. You made him soft, but you still can’t touch Brekker because he has his little Grisha girlfriend around to fuck up anyone who comes near him, but us, the rest of the Dregs, we don’t have you. Some of the Lions went and broke Wylan’s wrist, we said it was him falling from a carriage on a job but that was a lie Kaz made us tell so you wouldn’t be upset.  You’ve made life hell for us and now I’m here to do the same to you.” Y/N’s lip trembled hearing her best friend say such things to her.  She closed her eyes and looked away.  
              “This is amazing, thank you Jesper, Yuli will show you to a room, I really hope you do well here,” the Darkling said before Jesper was led out by another guard.  Then he turned to look at Y/N.  He was trying to see if Jesper was a plant, but she felt so broken between how things ended with Kaz and now Jesper’s words.  He had to know all of this was real and he was delighted.  “Looks like your friends are going to make it easy for me to destroy them.  O Y/N, you never could choose a winner.  I’ll give you one last chance, be mine, join me willingly and I will let you free, you just have to use your powers to serve me, and I’ll make your life better.”
              “Will you spare Kaz?” she asked softly.  The Darkling glared.
              “No, he will die the moment I set eyes on him, but it is good to know you’re still so noble to sacrifice yourself for your friends,” he said, handing her chain to her guard.  He yanked her back to her room, chaining her inside.  
              She hated this, she waited quietly for a new guard to come in and watched her sleep, which she rarely did, the guards either started at her or they openly tormented her.  She heard the new guard knock and in walked Jesper, in a shiny new purple kefta, dismissing the other guard and making sure he was far away before closing the door and locking it.  She sat a little further back on the bed, fully believing her best friend now hated her.  But when he turned around and she saw his eyes were back to normal, she almost cried in relief.
              “Jes?” she asked.  He ran over and hugged her tight, jumping to sit next to her on her bed. She didn’t let him go, feeling closer to her home than she had in the time she’d been there.  She relaxed for the first time at the Little Palace.  Jesper sat up a little and let her go.  
              “I’m sorry about before, I had to say all that, they needed to believe I hated you and the resistance,” he said.  She nodded, wiping the tears that were falling. She was so happy to see him.
              “You’re a fantastic actor,” she said with a laugh. He chuckled himself.  “How’s Kaz?”  
              “He’s a wreck, he feels so guilty for what happened between you guys and how he didn’t even get to make it right,” he said.  
              “He said all that?” she asked, looking a little shocked that Kaz would be so open with his feelings with someone else.  Jesper laughed.
              “Of course not, we can all just tell, plus when he found out about you he smashed up his entire tent again.  Who do you think sent me here?” he asked.  “O and he gave me something for you.”  He held out a folded up parchment.   Y/N took it gently in her hands.  “He made me swear not to read it.”
              “You read every word.”
              “Twice.”  She opened and started reading, her heart melting as she finally started fully crying.
              “Jes…he wrote me a song…” she said, leaning back to his shoulder as she read the entire thing.
              “You should sing it, you could make it better, but he did alright,” Jesper said.  She smiled and held the paper to her chest, hugging it.
              “He did perfect,” she said.  “You really want to hear it?”
              “I think it would make you feel better to sing it.” She nodded and wiped her eyes, clearing her throat.
I will fight
I will fight for you
I always do until my heart
Is black and blue
And I will stay
I will stay with you
We'll make it to the other side
Like lovers do
              She stopped at that, letting out another cry as she leaned to Jesper again.  What if she never saw Kaz again?  Never told him how much she loved the song he gave her?  She needed to see him again.
I'll reach my hands out in the dark
And wait for yours to interlock
I'll wait for you
              “He had me make you something,” Jesper said quietly, reaching into his keft and holding up a red chain with a small medallion on it. She took it and looked at it.  The medallion had a red crown on it.  “Said something about needing it to be blood red, you two are strange.  I just give Wylan explosive materials.”  She laughed and put it over her head.  
              “How long is your shift?” she asked.  
              “Until 2am, then I have another job to do,” he said. She nodded.  “Come here, I’ll hug you til you fall asleep.”  She smiled softly and leaned to him, feeling safe for just a few minutes before drifting to sleep.  
                At 2am Jesper left his shift with Y/N and headed towards the Fabrikators area.  He entered the workshop, knowing that asshole would be there.  He slipped quietly behind him and hit him in the head with the butt of his gun, knocking him out cold, Inej would be proud of him.
              “That was very well done,” Inej said, standing silently in the corner of the room.  Jesper jumped and turned.  
              “Saints stop that,” he said, lifting the Fabrikator up. Inej opened the secret door that led to a lake near the new encampment.  “Did Kaz say what he wanted this guy for yet?”
              “No, he and Nina plan on doing some type of torture on him to get him to talk,” she said as she helped Jesper carry him out the tunnel.  Once outside the rest of the Dregs were waiting.  Kaz looked at Jesper.
              “How is she?” he asked.  Jesper smiled sadly.
              “She misses you, feels bad about how you guys left things, likes what you sent her,” he said.  “So what is the plan.”  Kaz got a malicious smirk on his face, it was truly terrifying.
              “I can’t tell you that but I can tell you that it will mean revenge,” he said.  “Get back inside, they can’t know about this, make sure she stays safe.”  Jesper nodded and headed back down the tunnel.  Kaz and Nina took the Fabrikator to a private tent, closing it up tight before tying the man to a chair.  
              “I’m doing this only because I want Y/N back just as much as you do,” she said.  Kaz nodded.
              “I understand and thank you for this, I know its not going to be easy,” he said. She looked at her hand and nodded slowly before getting to work.
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writewithurheart · 3 years
Text
Hearts of Kyber: Part II
a/n: Hello lovely readers!! We’re back for Part 2 of 3! I’m so happy to be able to share this with all of you. And once again check out the work the rest of Crow Squadron has done because it is absolutely FABULOUS.
Corporalki: @kazandthecrows
Materialki: @anubem (art link) @generalstarkov (art link) @pijoshi (art link) @mitdemadlerimherzen (art link | art link 2) @erandraws (art link) @nannadoodles (art link)
Summary: When an Imperial pilot defects, the Rebellion sends its best spies to find out what he knows. They discover the existence of a planet-destroying weapon known as the Death Star and a scientist who holds the secrets to its only weaknesses. Guided by the pilot, Wylan, and a former storm trooper, Matthias, Kaz Brekker leads a team to uncover the secret that can save the Rebellion before it’s crushed for good.
A Grishaverse Rogue One AU for the Grishaverse Big Bang 2021
Read on AO3 or below the cut: 
Part II
Inej wraps her scarf around her head as the shuttle enters the atmosphere to a downpour of rain. She checks her gear. There’s a couple scorch marks from the earlier fight, but everything else is in good repair. It should keep her relatively dry.
Satisfied with her equipment, she turns back to Nina and Matthias. Nina’s fallen asleep on Matthias’s shoulder, exhibiting that her ability to sleep anywhere remains intact.
He looks uncomfortable with everything that’s happening around him. Despite all he’s already shared with them, Matthias still looks unsettled. His hand grips Nina’s, thumb moving in circles against the back of her hand. Inej isn’t even sure he knows he’s doing it. It’s clear that he and Nina have gotten close over the last two years. Inej is happy for her friend. 
Matthias clearly didn’t sign up for this. He leaned on Nina for support through their entire conversation. She’s seen that confusion in contacts they’re trying to turn before. Normally Jesper was the one to help put them at ease. Kaz and Inej had their own modes of gathering information. 
It can be hard to be thrown into a new situation, and Kaz doesn’t exactly ask your opinion before he turns around and questions your entire belief system. Matthias doesn’t seem to regret what he’s shared. He had only floundered when Kaz had asked about the anti-military defenses. He’d moved past it quickly and all the information fits with what they already know about Imperial procedures. 
She moves through the shuttle back to Kaz’s side, leaving Nina and Matthias in their bubble. He’s on the radio to Rebel Command, sequestered in a little corner. She lets him speak as her eyes drift over Jesper in the pilot seat. The Imperial Pilot - Wylan - is pointing out something as the shuttle weaves around rocky pillars. 
It has something to do with radars and detection. Jesper’s the natural choice to fly, better with the quick maneuvers than anyone else on their crew. Inej leans against the wall and watches the rain through the windshield. 
Kaz finishes his report and turns back to her. He looks tired, his face tight and drawn. They’ve worked together long enough that she can recognize his expressions. He’s shutting down his emotions right now. Whatever they’ve said isn’t something he’s pleased with. 
She tilts her head. “What did they say?” 
His hand curls into a fist. “They want to send a strike team.” 
Inej’s gut clenches at the thought. In the last three years, they’ve, collectively, done terrible things for the Rebellion. They’re the team that gets their hands dirty and keeps the Rebellion well-informed. This weapon - the Death Star - is greater than any other threat they’ve ever faced. She honestly doesn’t know how they’ll face it without more information, which can only be found on Eadu according to Wylan. 
“What’s the play?” she asks. 
He taps his fingers on the head of this cane. He doesn’t look at her as he works through his problem. “They think it’s too risky to leave the scientists alive. We only have a couple hours before they arrive. If there is information, we have to get it before they get here.” 
Inej runs her hand over one of her blades as she considers the change to the plans. “That’s cutting it rather close.” 
He finally looks at her. He doesn’t say anything but he can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows it’s going to be difficult, but that she can do it. 
Inej pulls out her knife and starts to spin it as she thinks about how this changes their plans. “We can’t fight our way in. It would take too much time.” 
Kaz nods. 
“Me, Jes and Matthais,” Inej says firmly, nodding at her own thoughts. Kaz’s brain has to be on the outside if something goes wrong. Wylan is a liability: someone might recognize him. Nina would be an asset but they need Matthias’s understanding of base layout and protocol more. 
“Get the information and get out.” Kaz rubs a gloved hand across his jaw. “If the scientist slows you down…” 
Inej stops the spin of her knife and looks at Kaz. His meaning hits her. He wants her to kill the scientist if necessary. It needles her. He’s never asked her to kill before. It’s always been a matter of survival: fighting because there was no other way out of the situation. He and Jesper are always the ones who carry out of assassination assignments. 
She swallows thickly. 
“I can tell Jesper,” he offers. If he was a soft man, the words might even be tender, but Kaz Brekker has never been soft. 
“He might be the only one with the information,” Inej counters. Her hand lifts to the necklace around her neck. “Force knows we need to find a way to destroy that weapon.” 
He gives her a look. She knows he doesn’t believe in the Force even a little. He prefers to put his faith in his own mind. He also puts an extraordinary amount of faith in her, to the point of being dangerous, bewildering and exasperating. He believes in her and that’s heady, but it’s also exhausting because it’s not like he would ever admit it. 
He watches her for a moment, eyes boring into her soul. 
“We’ve got this, Kaz.” She assures him. She takes a deep breath to breathe in the will of the Force, like her mother once taught her. She doesn’t want to hear his reservations or doubts, because she knows he won’t say them and she doesn’t want this to drag on.  
“Keep your comms open,” he instructs. “We’ll be your eyes on the outside. We won’t be able to call off the airstrike.” 
She takes a deep breath and grips her necklace. She can do this. She’s choosing to do this. 
“It’s now or never,” Jesper announces, jumping out of the pilot seat. He checks his weapons and glances at Kaz and Inej. With his raised eyebrow, Inej realizes just how close they’ve gotten in the little alcove and takes a small step back. “You get in touch with Herr Peskal?” 
Kaz nods. 
“And?” 
“We have ninety minutes.” 
Jesper nods. His brows furrowed. “Any leeway in that?” 
“Should be more than enough time,” Kaz says instead, walking away towards the back. 
Jesper looks back at her, consternation written into his features. 
Inej releases her necklace. “We have to get the information and get out. There’s a strike team on it’s way.” She tightens the band on her braid and tucks it into her hood. 
He pulls on his own poncho. “Kill protocols?” Jesper checks his pistols as he asks the question. When it takes too long for her to answer, he looks up at her. 
“We get the information. If the scientist slows us down…,” she can’t finish the statement. Jesper’s eyes are soft as he nods, understanding what she can’t say. It’s silly that she still has these hang-ups. 
“Got it,” Jesper says. He slides his pistols back into their holsters and covers them with his poncho. 
Inej nods and moves to the hatch. Kaz stands beside the door and looks out. She stands beside him as they look out into the dark rain. He leans toward her, as close as he can be without touching. She meets his eyes. His eyes are heavy with determination about what needs to happen. In the years since she’s known Kaz, she’s seen him trade his soul for the Rebellion over and over again. He shut down his feelings under a layer of armor too thick for anything to penetrate. It’s a rare moment when she can read the depth of his emotions in his eyes. It’s only when he’s concerned about her or Jesper, not that he’d ever admit that. 
At times like this, she wishes she was the kind of person who was more comfortable with touch. She reaches out slowly and clasps his fingers. His eyes drop to her fingers and squeeze hers briefly. His eyes meet hers with the silent order to take care of herself. Inej nods in understanding and then steps back to flip her hood over her head. 
“We’re out.” 
She hears Matthias and Jesper follow her out into the rain. Their longer legs overtake her quickly and she falls into step with them easily enough.  
It turns out the infiltration itself is easy enough. According to Matthais, this base isn’t a military target and is isolated enough that they’re about to sneak in through an air vent. Or Inej is able to. The boys are reluctant to fit themselves into the vents. 
She crawls along to a control panel and allows Matthias to talk her through rerouting the cameras so they loop the current footage. It’s a crude set up but that’s all they have time and prep for. She uses the same panel to open the door for Jesper and Matthias. She sticks to the vents and drops into an empty lab based on directions she pulled from the system. 
“Kaz, who is it we’re looking for?” She asks the comm. 
“Bo Yul-Bayur.” His voice scratches over the open comm. “At least that’s what it sounds like. The pilot’s brain is still scrambled from Bor Gullet.”
She pulls up the scientist directory on a nearby screen and scrolls through the information. “He’s not in the main labs. They look empty. Jes, Matthias, got anything?” 
“It looks like there’s some sort of meeting on the main landing pad,” Matthias answers. 
“Got all the big brass and everything,” Jesper mutters. “They’re still gathering. This is the time to grab the scientist.” 
Inej starts opening cabinets in the room to see if she can find a spare uniform or a lab coat, anything that will help her blend in as she searches the halls for this Yul-Bayur she needs to locate. She’s about to despair when she notices a cubby on the far side of the room with something hanging on it. 
The white coat is a pretty good fit, if a little large on her slight frame. She only takes a moment to note that difference before her eyes land on a small picture that was hidden behind the hanging coat. It’s a holodisc, cleverly hidden that wouldn’t be visible in another light, but that’s not what stops the breath in Inej’s chest. She recognizes the photo and her own eyes staring up at her from the center, wrapped in her mother’s arms with her brother perched on her back. 
She hasn’t seen her family since she was stolen away. This means… 
The name tag on the jacket confirms her suspicion: Ghafa. 
A memory returns of a cold steel building where she used to play with a ship and where her father met with important men. She’s too young to care what’s going on, but she remembers the frigidity of it all. Nothing like the caravan and the acrobats which had always felt like home. She remembers that well. But not the before, not the time when her dad…
Whoosh 
The door opens and Inej throws herself toward the nearest workspace in the hopes that she can look busy, knowing the jacket should be enough camouflage that she doesn’t need to hide in the limited shadows. 
“Hey! You there! What are you doing at my desk?” 
The voice is a chill that runs up her spine. She’d been so sure that he was dead. That her father was lost that day when the troopers came to the caravan. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined he was alive, that he had been taken. 
Inej slowly turns around. There’s a suspicious burning in the back of her eyes as she finally lays on her father. He stiffens with a soft gasp when he finally gets a look at her face. They stand there in silence for a drawn out minute, staring at each other with open wonder. 
“I-I-Inej?” 
Her words are lost as tears start to fall so all she can manage is a jerky nod before she flings herself into his open arms and gives herself over to the joy of her father coming back to life. 
<hr> 
Kaz doesn’t do well when he can’t plan for all the variables on a mission. He scowls and glares out the windshield of the ship at the rain that thuds down on the clear screen. There’s nothing but darkness and rain outside. The comms have gone quiet as Jesper, Matthias, and Inej infiltrate the base. He’s not happy with hastily thrown together plans, even when it’s their only chance to snatch up invaluable information. He’d prefer this to have more finesse. 
Wylan Van Eck beside him still twitches nervously in his seat. His eyes are wide in perpetual shock, as if he can’t believe what his life is or how he got there. He’s going to have to get over that quickly. Kaz doesn’t have time to hold his hand. Whether he knows it or not, the pilot likely has valuable information given his relation to a relatively well-known commander of the Empire. Although whatever the Shu did to him seems to be taking its toll. 
It’s unfortunate. 
Nina finally moves from the back of the ship. In the screen, Kaz watches her stretch to wake up from her nap, as if this was just a normal turn of events. They’re going to have to talk about the last two years and her stay on Jedha, but again, that’s not the priority, not right now. Obviously, she did her thing and convinced a Druskelle to change ranks. It still makes her motivations now unknown. 
Kaz looks over the radar even though he knows the strike team is still a while out. He doesn’t like having nothing to do while his team does the difficult work. His mind is on Plan Q of this improvised operation. He dislikes the amount of variables and his role as back up. It would be irresponsible to leave anyone else with the ship. No one else would be able to make the call to leave if it came to that. 
“What’s got your panties in a twist, Brekker?” Nina asks from behind him. She’s managed to find some supply of sweets on this ship that he didn’t even realize was there. 
Her question prompts Wylan to observe him, snapping him from whatever reverie he found himself in. 
“There wasn’t much time to plan. It’s too sloppy.” It’s too risky. Kaz isn’t convinced that it’s worth the amount being risked. He doesn’t trust hearsay and rumors and fickle scientists. This could easily be a trap. 
“It’s more than that. The Force moves differently around those who are preparing to kill.” 
The pilot jerks in alarm. “What?” 
Kaz looks at Nina, projecting his own blank face. He’d forgotten how annoying her perceptiveness could be. Blasted Force-users. 
“Jesper was prepared to kill. Even Inej-”
“We’ve got a problem.” 
Kaz sits up and leans into the console at Jesper’s voice. “Talk to me.” 
“The scientist we were sent to get. He’s gone.” 
Kaz frowns. “What do you mean he’s gone?” 
“As in, dragged away screaming in front of a cadre of his own scientists and his son,” Jesper reports. There’s a voice too far away for the comm to pick up, which tells him the son is right there. “Kuwei says he knows how to destroy the device. But he won’t tell us until we’re off planet.” 
Kaz glances at the clock. They have time. “Wraith, report.” Each moment of silence screams that something is terribly wrong. “Wraith.” 
“She was in the labs,” Jesper reports. 
“They should be mostly clear by now,” Matthias adds. “We can pick her up on the way out. They don’t have much in the way of holding cells if she was captured.” 
“Because they’re more likely to shoot first than stop and ask questions,” Kaz surmises, an observation that isn’t immediately countered which does nothing to assuage his worry. Not that there’s any reason to be concerned about the Wraith. Inej is too good to be captured. 
“There would have been an alarm raised.” Matthias’s voice is hard. “They’re already on high alert. Jesper should take Kuwei back to the ship. I can blend in better on my own.” 
Kaz grits his teeth. It’s not ideal. Ideally his people need to be out of there but they need to know how to destroy the Death Star. “Do it.” 
Nina reaches past him to slam her hand against the control. “Alright, Brekker. Out with it.” 
She leans against the console and stares him down. Kaz looks blankly back at her. He didn’t miss dealing with Nina on a regular basis. She always struggled with the grey areas of their jobs, the ones where you had to make the tough calls. She liked to rely on the Force, on a higher power. Kaz prefers to rely on his own intelligence. 
“Who are you planning to kill, Kaz,” she enunciates, getting into his face. 
“No one.” Technically true now. The plan to kill the scientist is moot if they need him. The Rebel strike team is the more pressing concern at this time. 
“Don’t bullshit me. If anything happens to Matthias...” 
“You know that any infiltration has some amount of risk.” At this point, the risk is with Inej. If she can, she’ll get out of there. 
“There’s something more at play here.” 
Kaz glances at the time. “We need to know how to destroy the Death Star. That takes priority.” 
“Priority over what, Brekker?” 
He looks at her. “We also need to know they can never create another one.” 
Nina pales. 
“There’s a strike called in for the base.” 
“Well, then call it off. They can blow it up from the inside or something.” 
 He bats her hand away as she reaches for the comms. “We don’t have the explosives for that. Nor the time.” 
“The alarm’s been raised. We’re coming out hot.” 
Kaz’s blood freezes in his veins. That’s Jesper, not Matthias or Inej. That means they’ll have to take off quickly without hope of waiting it out for any stragglers. Nina meets his gaze in a challenge. He flips a button and the engines start up. He turns to Wylan in the copilot seat. “Can you fly us out of here?” 
He nods jerkily and reaches forward to start checks. Kaz bodily inserts himself between Nina and the cockpit. He has to lean heavily on his cane as he pushes back to the loading bay and opens the door. 
“Matthias-” Nina forces her way past him to jam on the button. Kaz smacks it off with his cane. 
“Inej will get them out if she can. We need to prepare.” 
“You bastard! I will never forgive you for this, Brekker.” 
His jaw clenches. Inej would never forgive him if he faltered on his path.  
“I’m going after them.” Nina rushes out the open door. Jesper arrives with an unknown entity in view. 
He can’t afford to wait for her. “Prepare for take off,” he shouts to Wylan as Jesper drags the scientist onto the space ship. 
The scientist collapses onto the bench, breathing heavily. Jesper looks back, pointing over his shoulder where Nina disappeared into the rain. “Where’s she going?” 
Kaz scowls. “She refused to leave her partner behind.” 
“Inej?” 
“Plan J,” Kaz responds. It’s his standard response when things go wrong. It’s their shorthand for ‘she’s going to find her own way out’.  
“We’ve got incoming,” Wylan shouts from the front. Jesper slams the door and dashes to the cockpit. The ship is his baby. 
“It’s the alliance,” Jesper calls. 
Kaz breathes out. He turns away from the door. “Get us out of here.” 
<hr> 
The alarm blares through the compound. Matthias listens to the sirens. Unless they’ve changed the signals, it’s the intruder alarm. Either Inej or Jesper has been found. He sighs and adjusts his suit, tugging at his borrowed uniform so it sits straight. It’s been two years and the outfit that once felt like a second skin now feels stiff and constraining. 
A platoon of troopers races past Matthias, down the hallway in the opposite direction. He overhears their leader shout about an unknown man with Lab Assistant Al Bul. Not that he has any idea where Inej might be. 
He heads towards the labs, nodding to officers as he marches along. He sticks his head into the various rooms. He lifts his hand to the silent comm. 
“Inej? Report?” 
He sees two scientists pulled from a lab in front of them. Only one is dressed in standard Imperial research regalia, the other just has a white overcoat. He vaguely recognizes the slight figure of Inej as she lurks slightly behind the scientist. 
“You’re supposed to be in the main hangar, Ghafa.” 
Matthias freezes. He knows that voice. It’s the same voice who trained him, the one that took him under his wing and trained him to take his place. Jarl Brum was the man who was a father figure since he was an adolescent. He’s the one he spent the last two years considering trying to contact. 
“Of course, Commander Brum. My assistant and I just had to finish one last computation. The captain didn’t communicate the urgency of the situation when he came by earlier.” The man sounds as polite and rational as any might be. 
“You know better than that, Ghafa. My second says he saw you on your way to the hangar when the announcement went up. You stopped. And who is your assistant? I don’t recall seeing this one around before.” 
Matthias curses. Inej isn’t sneaking under the radar. She’s not getting out of here clean, not when they’re already on high alert about a trespasser. The display in the hangar would imply that they know they have a leak, and Jarl Brum is the type to shoot first and then brutally interrogate. Leaving her is not an option. 
He drops his hand to the gun at his side and sighs. Two years ago, this wouldn’t be a consideration. He would turn himself over to Brum and gladly share everything he knew, use that knowledge to ingratiate himself to his pseudo-father. But that was before Jedha, before he witnessed what survival on the street looked like, before he learned what citizens of the Empire would consent to live under rather than suffer Imperial rule. 
He glances down the hallway and sees only one man at Brum’s side. The rest of the hallway is clear, but there’s no guarantee it will stay that way for long. Matthias looks down and sets his blaster to stun. He carefully doesn’t allow himself to think for too long. The first shot goes wide as Matthias readjusts to the Imperial blaster. He readjusts instinctually and the second shot hits the soldier in the middle of his forehead. 
Brum, with typical arrogance, doesn’t even reach for his blaster as he turns to look down the hallway. He blinks in shock as he recognizes Matthias. It couldn’t be too difficult now that he’s finally back in the Imperial uniform. 
“Matthias Helvar? My son, you’ve returned.” He turns away from the scientist. 
Inej has pushed the scientist behind her. She looks nervous as she glances between Matthais and Brum. 
“I’m not your son.” He might be a little defensive on that point seeing as he barely has the trust of this heist team. “We’re going.” 
Inej moves, keeping herself between the scientist and Brum as she pushes him further down the wall. Matthias doesn’t remove his eyes from Brum. 
Brum turns to face Matthias fully. “It’s good to see you. We thought you were lost when you landed on Jedha. You look well.” He takes a deep breath as Matthias starts to back away down the hallway. “You know you won’t get away. The entire base is looking for you.” 
He doesn’t dignify the statement with a response. He could shoot Brum right now, slide the gun from stun to kill. It would cement his change of allegiance. His finger hovers over the trigger for a moment. The hesitation costs him. Troopers round the corner. They waste no time in firing once they see Matthias pointing his weapon at Brum. He ducks and rounds the corner, firing back as he glances over at Inej.
“We need to go. Where’s Jesper?” Inej says from where she crouches beside him.
“He went ahead with the scientist,” Matthias replies. “They’re the ones who set off the alarm.” 
She scowls and glances around. “Where’s the hangar?” 
He pauses in firing. “The opposite direction from where the transport is. We need to go back the other way.” 
“No,” Inej counters. “Jesper and the scientist are back at the shuttle. That means they’re gone. We need alternate transport. Dad?” 
“What do you mean?” Matthias frowns. “They wouldn’t leave…” He’s cut off as the man gestures down the hall. Inej starts to move. Matthias hits his head against the wall. Of course they’re going to do something not in the plan. It’s what he should expect from an undisciplined bunch.
“They had no choice,” Inej whispers. She pulls a blaster on approaching troopers, causing them to drop back to avoid blasters. 
Matthias fires off a couple more shots as they race through the hallways. He curses in Fjerdan as they run. Stupid demon spies with unorthodox plans and no communication skills. “What are you talking about?” 
“There’s a strike team coming. They’re going to blow this base with us in it if we don’t get off planet now.” Inej’s voice is calm. 
When they get out of here, Matthias is going to have some strong words with Kaz Brekker about his asinine plans and the danger he puts his people in. “We’re going to the private hangar. The main one will be too crowded. It’s where they gathered the scientists earlier. Brum’s transport should be on his level.” 
He smashes open the door to an elevator. He lets Inej and the scientist in before him and then slams on the button to the correct floor as he remembers it. Finally he glances at the scientist and then to Inej. “I thought we wanted Yul-Bayur?” 
Inej shifts. It would almost be nervous except she looks completely unapologetic. 
“Why do you want him?” 
Matthias doesn’t speak. He has no idea who this scientist is and isn’t about to divulge secret information. 
“The Death Star,” Inej says, turning to face the man. 
He pales. “They finished it?” 
“How do you know about it?” Matthias crosses his arms, but his eyes follow the indicator on the elevator as they close in on their target. The door opens directly to the flight platform which is blessedly empty of guards. He stands with one foot out so the door won’t close and face the scientist. 
“I worked on it.” 
“We got word from a pilot that there was a way to destroy it.” 
Inej is too trusting. Matthias is ready to leave. 
“Yes, but how do you know this?” The man asks. “I was unable to pass that information along.” 
“You?” Inej laughs, throwing her head back and then throws her arms around the man. “Of course you did, Papa.”
That finally connects the dots for Matthias. He can’t let himself get distracted. If this is the scientist which has the information they need, then they need to get out of here even more now. He turns toward Brum’s personal shuttle. There are two other ships in close proximity - his guard ships. But they only need one. 
“Come on,” Matthias interrupts as he starts toward the main shuttle. 
Inej turns around and stabs one of her knives into the control panel, effectively destroying it in a single motion. It’s clever. He should have thought of it, should have realized. But the more important goal is to get out of here. 
Halfway across the tarmac, Matthias hears the shot. 
Inej’s scream pierces the air and the world stops as he spins around to see her father collapse to the ground. 
<hr>
 Nina regrets her choice as soon as she steps out into the cold, lashing rain. The wind rips at her braided hair. It slaps against her face and lands askew. Her boots are filled with water through the little leaks she never bothered to patch while living on Jedha. It was unnecessary on a desert planet, after all. 
Her robes whip around her and the darkness blinds her to her surroundings. Nina shuts her eyes and lets the Maker guide her steps on the uneven terrain. She knows Inej and Matthias are likely fine on their own. Something calls her forward. It demands she walk into the abyss. It’s a call she’s used to answering. 
She’s helpless to fight it. 
Nina learned it’s best to trust these moments of intuition, even as it annoys Zoya, Kaz, Matthias, and everyone she’s ever served with. It’s part of her unique times. 
The door to the base is ajar, likely propped open for breaks for onsite personnel, the kind that balks protocol and that is largely unknown save by those who frequent it. The site is abandoned in favor of responding to the intruder alarm. The door opens inward to soldier barracks and Nina quickly sheds her robes to change into the standard armor of a foot soldier, unnoticeable in the best of times. It’s the perfect disguise. 
The helmet is almost suffocating as she drops it over her head. The visor allows her startlingly little light to see by, probably as troopers are to be feared rather than effective. Nina lifts her bladder and proceeds into the hallway, falling into step with troopers moving rapidly in one direction. 
“Intruders at the West Entrance. Assistance has been requested.” 
“Belay that order. Platoon B divert to General Brum.” 
Nina follows the example of the troopers around her and salutes to the man who orders their change in objective. She’s part of the Rebellion. She knows the name Brum. Apprehension sends a shiver down her spine at the name of the man famous for rooting out and murdering Rebel spies. That Matthias served directly under him only adds to her anxiety. 
Brum himself meets her new platoon at the elevator with a scowl. It’s the first time Nina has ever seen the man in person but the frosty expression is reminiscent of her first days in Jedha with Matthias in his Druskelle idiocy. He stands stiff and tall, frosty in a way that Nina thinks he never learned to smile. 
“Intruders are headed to my private shuttle. Detaining them alive is preferable. Dead is acceptable. One former Druskelle, one girl, and Scientist Ghafa. THey must not be allowed to escape.” 
Again they salute with terrifying synchronicity. 
“Two of you, with me,” he orders as he steps into the lift. “The rest of you, take the stairs.” 
Thank the Force, Nina finds herself nearest the elevator doors and she steps in alongside another faceless trooper. One the ride, she focuses on her breath instead of her proximity to the man known to have murdered her comrades. Idly she wonders if her breath could fog up the inside of her helmet, if her breath was labored enough. 
She exits the lift alongside the other trooper, finger carefully on the trigger. She calls on the Force to protect Matthias and Inej. Briefly, she considers turning on Brum but the Force screams at her to follow this course of action. She doesn’t understand but she trusts it to guide her in her actions. 
There are already troopers on the platform, firing on Matthias, Inej and the scientist. She swore Jesper was the one with the scientist, not Inej. She watches as the scientist falls to a well-placed shot. Her resolve to listen to the Force almost breaks when she realizes that Inej and Matthias aren’t going to reach the shuttle without further casualties. A moment later, the Rebel spy ship emerges from the darkness of Eadu and rains down shots to cover their retreat. 
The troopers move for cover as Matthais and Inej carry the scientist over their shoulders and race for the ship. It looks almost comical - a man strung between the tall Matthias and the tiny Inej. Nina herself isn’t pleased at the arrival of the ship she swears she just saw fly off with the intent to leave them behind. 
It would appear Kaz and Inej are still doing the same circular dance of flirtation without addressing their own issues and feelings. 
“Bring that ship down!” Brum screams, as if the troopers’ meagre blasters could somehow penetrate the ship’s shield. 
“If I may, sir,” NIna says tentatively enough while still playing the obedient trooper. One with a brain. “Perhaps pursuit would be more successful.” 
Brum stares a moment before he once again starts barking orders. It looks like she’s getting off this rock anyway. The Force still has some use for her after all.
<hr>
They were out. They were minutes from freedom. 
The words are on repeat in her head as Inej drops to the ground beside her father. Rain soaks through her clothes as she pulls her father into her lap. His hand wraps around hers with surprising strength. In the background, she can hear Matthias shouting, the pew pew pew of blaster fire, and then something that sounds like Kaz’s rasp which makes no sense. They should have taken off by now, maybe even be out of the atmosphere. 
“Stardust,” her father whispers. His hand reaches up to brush dripping wet hair from where it hangs in her face. “Scarif...you must go to Scarif…” 
“You’re coming with us,” she whispers. Tears blur her eyes as she tries a watery smile. A hand grips her shoulder and abruptly the rest of the world comes back into sharp relief. She feels each drop of rain from the sky, the sizzle of hot laser blasts hitting water, and Jesper’s plea for her to move. “I’m not leaving him!” 
Matthias grumbles in a different language as he fires off another couple of shots. Jesper circles Inej to throw her father’s arm over his shoulders. Inej rushes to help her. Her father grunts as they shift him. He’s too injured to help them as they half carry, half drag him towards the shuttle. 
Kaz would have her head if he knew they were risking everything to bring her father with them. Her orders were to get the scientist out of there. If Jesper already got one, then they could have left her father behind. It’s her sentimentality. That’s what he would blame it on. 
Inej’s free hand wraps around the necklace tied around her throat. For so long it was the only memento she had of her family. She prays to the Force, to the long forgotten religion of her people as she staggers under her father’s weight. They can do this. 
Her feet land on a metal incline and Inej pushes herself to get to the flat of the ship. Matthias slams on the button to close the doors and Jesper slips out from his position holding Inej’s father up to race to the cockpit.
Only Inej’s superior sense of balance and upper body strength allow her to keep her father from dropping to the floor. Kaz slides over to take Jesper’s place as the shuttle leaves the tarmac. It rocks dangerously as they get her father to a bench. He groans as he lands hard on the unforgiving surface. 
“Matthias, I need you on the guns!” 
Inej blocks it all out as she focuses on her father, drinking in the lines on his face. “I’m here, Dad. We’re gonna help you.” Her eyes land on a med kit Kaz drops beside her. She throws it open to gaze at the contents they haven’t replenished in far too long. She rips his jacket open to find where the blaster shot landed. Her father’s hands fumble to help her only to still her hands. She frowns and looks up at him. 
“Papa-” 
“Listen, Stardust. The Death Star. There’s a way to stop it. A weakness…exhaust port...plans are on Scarif...your mother…” 
“You need to save your strength,” Inej whispers. His hands fall from hers, suddenly weightless. With one hand Inej claws through the med kit, her hands landing on bacta patches. She pulls his shirt back and desperately presses the medication to the wound. 
“You can’t leave me like this, Papa. I just got you back. I can’t lose you again. Not like this. I need you. You’ve got to meet Jesper...and Kaz. Jesper will make you laugh like you’ve never laughed before. Kaz is a bit harder but I think you’ll like how much he cares. He’s been looking for you, you know. You’re going to be okay.” 
She scrambles for the serum that will put him in stasis until they make it back to base. If there’s a chance to save him, it will happen there. Tears are hot on her cheeks. Inej presses her lips to his hands. They don’t grip hers back as he succumbs to the serum. His whole body goes slack under her hands, his eyes shut. The fight slips away from him. Inej loses her own battle and sobs in earnest. One hand finds her father’s pulse. Tension weeps from her body as she feels the faint flutter under her fingers. He’s still alive for now.
The motion of the shuttle smoothes out as the shuttle goes into lightspeed. 
“Inej-” 
Kaz’s voice is cut off as she looks back up at him. She stares at him, finally processing what his presence here means. “You came back.”
Inej forces a deep breath and pulls back from her father. She swipes at the tears on her face. Air won’t come easily. She wrestles with it as Kaz kneels beside her. Matthias returns from where he was manning the weapons. With surprising gentleness, he arranges Inej’s father on the bench, and checks his pulse again. He checks the bacta pack and nods. Inej rises to her feet and takes deep breaths. She tries to reboot her mind, to get it to focus on what the next step is. There’s something she need to be doing but all she can think about is what she just found that was then almost ripped unceremoniously from her grasp. 
They must have done it: gotten away from Eadu in one piece. Her eyes drift from her friends, her heart swelling with warmth only for her gaze to land on the newcomer. She feels ugly emotion rise in her chest as her eyes take in this scientist who was allowed to just walk away while her father is…
Inej can’t finish the thought. She shakes her head, and turns back to Kaz. There’s so much she wants to say, to ask about. The ship should have been gone and they came back. Kaz’s gloved hand slips into hers and he squeezes it. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything else, but it feels like the world has shifted with that one singular motion. 
Her father is dead, but that will not be where this story ends.
<hr> 
Wylan’s hands are steady on the controls as he steers the ship into the landing field of the Rebel base. His breath is uneven in his chest and his heart feels like a jackhammer as he fears what this group will do to his already fractured psyche. He’s gotten better in the last few days - miles better than whatever it is Bor Gullet did to his brain on Jedha. It’s like his brain and body had to relearn how to communicate. 
He hasn’t told anyone that the symbols on the controls and all his displays are illegible to his mind. Struggling with reading isn’t new to him. It was one of those things his father despaired of before he shipped Wylan off to the flight academy, enraged that his son would never be an Imperial officer. Now the screens hurt his eyes. 
It doesn’t matter. He’s trained himself to fly without the assistance. It just gets in the way of good pilots most of the time. Jesper leans forward and looks over the screens, then glances at Wylan. He raises an eyebrow and falls backwards into his chair with an impressed whistle. 
“You’re not even reading the specs, are you? Are you some kind of super pilot?” 
Wylan glances sideways as he lowers the landing gear. He shrugs vaguely. The way Jesper is looking at him sends a shiver down his spine. It’s a loaded glance. He doesn’t want to look too deeply at what it means, doesn’t want to jump to conclusions about what he’s thinking. Any flirting is in his own head. 
“That’s hot.” 
Or not. Wylan frowns at him as he powers down the plane. “Are you serious, right now?” 
Jesper winks, and throws him a devilish smirk. “What can I say? Competence is a turn on.” 
“Stop flirting.” Kaz’s voice breaks through the fog in Wylan’s brain as he briefly forgets how to think. “We need to report.” 
“Aye, aye, captain,” Jesper throws back as he jumps to his feet.
“You’re ridiculous,” Wylan informs him. 
“Welcome to the Rebellion, Sunshine. Let’s go!” With more enthusiasm than he thinks is warranted, Jesper propels Wylan in front of him and out onto the dry base. He receives some interested looks, but not so many as the floating stretcher escorted by Inej and Matthias as it races into the base. 
“Will Pavel Ghafa be okay?” He asks, staring at the stretcher as it disappears. 
Jesper and Kaz both turn to look at him. Wylan wants to shrink away from their gaze. 
“How do you know Inej’s father?” Kaz demands. 
Wylan tilts his head. So that’s what he missed while flying the plane. “He was nice to me. None of the other scientists would speak to me. They…” They thought he was stupid. His first day on base, his father had made a point of shoving his face in everything he couldn’t understand by bringing him to the science labs. The joke was on him because Wylan could understand parts of it, even if he couldn’t read anything. Scientist Ghafa was the only one who noticed. Afterwards, he was the only one who continued to talk to him. “He taught me how to blow things up.” 
Jesper grins. “Damn. I like him already.” 
“Is he going to make it?” Wylan asks. 
“Did he ever tell you about his work? Anything about the Death Star?” 
Wylan pauses and tries to think about their past interactions. The memories stall. He sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. He always told me to be careful, to keep my head down. I’m sorry. I don’t know.” 
Kaz nods and turns away. He makes a bee-line for a man and a woman, both waiting by the entrance to the base. The two of them are standing still while the rest of the base moves around them. It takes a special sort of power. 
Wylan looks over at Jesper and then past him to Al Bul. Kuwei had never been particularly kind to him, or mean, really. He doesn’t know much about him at all. He wasn’t happy with the way he was coerced into helping them get rescued, largely because he ended up being interrogated by Bor Gullet. Turns out the Shu weren’t too happy with the potential ability to get back two of their own citizens. Wylan would have appreciated that knowledge before he landed in Jedha to a hostile situation. 
“Don’t worry. We’ll get this solved.” Jesper nods at something Kaz conveys with a quick hand signal. His hand moves from Wylan’s shoulder with a quick squeeze. It lands heavily on Kuwei’s shoulder and pushes him forward. “Come on, Kiwi. We got you out, so now it’s your turn to cough up what you know.” 
<hr> 
The universe is a perpetual joke. 
Jesper plays with the settings on his blasters as he sits in the dark corner of HQ while voices rise and fall in impassioned debate. Kuwei, for all his supposed knowledge, can only tell them that there’s a critical weakness in the Death Star’s defenses. It’s in the plans, which he thinks he can create from memory. The leaders of the Resistance are far less trusting of this information. Spymaster Per Haskell is angry that he’s devoted so many resources on a dead end. Inej is pushing for an expedition to Scarif, where she can recover the plans. According to her, her father knows the plans are there. Genya seems interested in the plan, but the majority of the people present are convinced of the futility of the prospect. 
They’d rather continue along their familiar routes of information gathering. Even from across the room, Jesper can tell Kaz is going to follow Inej on this. That boy will move worlds to get her what she wants. 
Jesper gets to his feet and walks away from the noise of the room. He’d better get their ride ready. Wylan Van Sunshine is the only one to recognize his exit and he falls into step with Jesper.  
“What are you planning?” 
Jesper shrugs. “What makes you think I’m planning anything?” 
“The demjin would not give in so easily.” 
His head whips around to his other side where Matthias is now standing, face set in a scowl. “I’m going to put a bell on you.” They both continue to stare at him. “Stop that. There’s no plan.” 
“There’s a plan,” Wylan says, looking at Matthias. 
“Of course, there’s a plan.” Matthias agrees. “Nina’s on Scarif.” 
Jesper laughs. “That’s quite a leap.” 
“She’s on Scarif,” Matthias repeats. 
Jesper shakes his head. There’s no possible way he can know that. There’s a whole galaxy out there where she could be, and that’s if she got off the planet. The poor guy is delusional. “Look, I know it sucks that we left her behind. The odds of her surviving the strike are not great.” 
“Brum’s shuttle left after us. It survived the strike. She was on that ship.” Matthias says tightly. 
“I want Nina to be alive just as much as you do, but there’s no way you can know that.” Jesper squints at Matthias, trying to determine what Matthias actually knows and what is just him trying to will into being.
Matthias gets a pained look on his normally stoic face. He looks up at the sky, as if he can’t believe what he’s about to say. “I would feel it if she were dead.” 
Jesper looks at Wylan, glad to see that he’s just as lost as Jesper is. Jesper runs a hand over the back of his neck with a sigh. As much as he would love to continue his unbelieving attitude, Jesper knows the truth resonates in Matthias’s words. Nina’s alive and somehow is going to be exactly where she needs to be, but Matthias isn’t in contact with her. He’s just got faith. “I hope you’re right, soldier boy.” 
“Please tell me there is actually a plan,” Matthias answers. His face is all scowly. 
“Plans are a turn on for you, aren’t they?” Jesper speculates as he looks the soldier over. “How does that work out with you and Nina?” She’s the least rule-following person he knows. She likes to improvise too much when the Force speaks to her. 
Matthias doesn’t answer. He just narrows his eyes at Jesper’s tone. Jesper bites back a smirk. He’d bet good money that the reason it works is because they’re both soldiers, who are loyal and stubborn as hell. Helvar doesn’t seem like a complete dick, and exactly Nina’s type. He really does hope he’s right about Nina. 
Jesper pushes past them both and walks towards the mess hall, where he knows the intelligence agents who are on base spend their down time. Unlike many operatives who find ways to work the Rebel insignia into their uniforms, the intelligence agents are a paranoid bunch who value their identity too much to risk their allegiance being revealed, even a Rebel base. 
Generally, the intelligence agents are known as spies or The Dregs. Kaz calls them the Crows because they go out in the galaxy and collect shiny bits of information which they hoard and return in the hopes that it might turn out to be valuable. They don’t often work in large groups but they can recognize each other. Wylan and Matthias trail behind him as he walks across the way to Rotty, who’s sitting alone and staring into his mug. 
He looks up as Jesper drops into the seat across from him. His eyes take in the three of them, assessing even as he looks half asleep. That’s part of his charm. People underestimate him. He takes them in, looks around the room and then leans forward. “This about the meeting happening right now?” 
Rotty’s good at connecting dots. 
Jesper shrugs as if to say “what can you do”. 
Rotty throws the rest of his drink back and drops his mug on the table. “Is the intelligence worth it?” 
Jesper runs a hand along this jaw and the stubble that’s starting to grow as he looks around, glancing at Wylan and Matthias. “We have confirmation the information’s on Scarif. Nina’s on the inside.” 
Rotty blinks in surprise. “Nina? Zenik? I thought…” He looks at Matthias. “So the rumors about Jedha?” 
“All true. We need to move before things get worse.” Jesper glances around the room. “It looks like the vote will go the other way.” 
The Dregs have the best blank stares. Jesper watches his eyes and the calculations going on behind them. “Kaz?” 
Jesper knows he’s got him. Rotty will help them. “Sent me to spread the word. No orders. This isn’t mandated. It has to be your choice.” 
“Who do you have so far?” 
“Kanej and these two.” 
Rotty snorts. “You’re still hoping that catches on.” 
“It’s so much easier to say than Kaz and Inej every time. When we have time, remind me to tell you about the repressed pining from this last stunt. It’s a good one.” Jesper taps the table and stands. “Spread the word. We’re leaving as soon as the meeting lets out.” 
Rotty nods. 
Jesper is two tables away when Rotty calls after him. “How do you know Zenik is on Scarif?” 
Matthias tenses. It’s comical how easy he is to read. 
“She sent an encrypted message.” Jesper reveals with a grin. Then, because he doesn’t trust the druskelle yet, he throws in a little lie. “In the ship’s lights as Brum’s shuttle left Eadu. Kuwei confirmed Brum would fall back to Mustafar and then likely Scarif to check the Death Star plans. We’re watching the old channels for updates.” 
Rotty nods. 
Matthias shakes his head as they walk out of the cafeteria. “You could have just told me that.” 
Jesper laughs. “And missed the look on your face? Never! Now, come on, Helvar, Sunshine. We’ve got a ship to prepare. Stealthily.” 
<hr> 
“We can’t take no for an answer. You know this is wrong! We have to go. There’s no guarantee Kuwei has any idea what he’s talking about. It’s all guesswork. My father nearly died getting us this information.” 
Kaz leans heavily on his cane as they leave HQ as Inej rants in his ear. It’s been awhile since he’s been the recipient of one of her rants. They’ve long accepted their own philosophical differences. He knows her well enough to understand that this is different. This is the first tangible connection she has to her family. Defeating the Death Star is now a part of his legacy and she’ll do anything to protect that. “I know, Inej.” 
“So why didn’t you say anything?! You stood silently by. You didn’t even argue for a plan that could work.” 
He rubs at his leg like that will alleviate the pain. It’s not great that it’s worse today but Kaz has worked through the pain before. It shouldn’t cause any hiccups assuming that they can get out of here before someone tries to stop them. Based on Genya’s nod as they left, he’s willing to bet that she’ll run interference. 
“They were never going to agree. Scarif is a stronghold. We haven’t been able to infiltrate before. Whoever goes in, even if they succeed in getting the plans, they would likely die.” The words are harsh. They have to be. He can’t have anyone doubting the risks involved. 
“It would be worth it.” Inej’s eyes are fire, pure passion. It does funny things to his heart beat. She’s a woman meant to live life to the fullest. She’s never more beautiful than when her whole heart is devoted to something she cares about. 
Kaz holds her gaze for a minute and then nods. “I agree. That’s why Jesper’s collecting the Crows.” 
He struggles with a smile at the shock and warmth in Inej’s gaze, the way her lips part in surprise. The him of several years ago wouldn’t have made this choice. He turns away from her and continues to walk. His smile would come out if he continued to look at her. A few years ago, he wouldn’t have let this melt the ice around his heart, but he’s started to let people in again. It’s a strength as much as a weakness. 
“We’re going?” She speeds up to walk in front of him, turning so she can face him as she walks backwards. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 
“If you didn’t fight for your father, Haskell would have been suspicious. He would have grounded us.” 
Her eyes sparkle and another little bit of ice melts.  Her hand reaches out like she’s going to reach for her hand. Kaz’s chest is tight - both with desire for her closeness and in fear of contact. Slowly telegraphing her movements, Inej’s hand lands on his forearm. He stops in the middle of the hallway. The bile he expects doesn’t overwhelm him. Instead, it feels almost nice. He relaxes into it as he drinks in her gaze. She smiles at him. 
“Thank you.” 
He shrugs. He only did what had to be done. Kaz slowly turns his hand over and pulls it back so that their hands meet, fingers intertwining. He stares at the contact and wonders briefly what it would feel like without the gloves between their skin. He wants to be brave enough to push himself to that point but he’s not ready for that yet. 
He loosens his grip and lets their hands slip apart before he starts walking, glancing around the hallway. Per Haskell has his eyes on them despite being engaged in conversation with Genya in the entrance to the conference room. 
“We need to get out of here before we get locked down.” 
Inej nods. “Right.” She pulls away and they start to walk down the hall again. 
Kaz’s tensions relax when they reach the hangar and see the Crows all milling around the shuttle, looking inconspicuous for the moment in the bustle of people, but he knows it’s not long before they start attracting attention. His eyes flit to each familiar face. They acknowledge the silent signal and all head toward the shuttle. 
It’s a tight squeeze, done nearly silently. It isn’t until he’s moving toward the cockpit when he hears the agitated back and forth of two dissenting voices. 
“You’re doing it wrong. We’re never going to get out of here with that clearance code.” 
There’s an annoyed huff. “Well then, you’re in charge of the code. I can handle the flying.” 
“It’s my ship. I’m the pilot, Sunshine.” 
Kaz reaches the entrance to see both Wylan and Jesper at the controls. 
“You don’t fly like an Imperial pilot. They’re going to notice.” Wylan glares at Jesper and bats his hand away from the control he’s reaching for. “Just focus on the codes.” 
Jesper leans forward. “You know, it’s kind of hot how you take charge.” 
Kaz clears his throat. He ignores the way Wylan’s skin flushes and Jesper’s predatory grin. “Time to fly.” 
Engines hum to life, shortly followed by a radio static call. “Imperial Ship, you have not been cleared for take off. Please state your call sign.” 
Wylan and Jesper look at each other in alarm. It’s almost comical. Jesper, only slightly less useless in this situation grabs the radio. “Oh, right. Tower, this is Rogue...One.”
Kaz closes his eyes at the stupidity. Even Wylan looks pained. Jesper however forges ahead. 
“Rogue One, taking off.” 
He closes the radio connection as Wylan maneuvers the shuttle into the air and they head off into uncertain danger. Kaz glances back at Inej. She meets his gaze with the same stoic determination. At least they’re in this together.  
...
Keep an eye out for Part III coming out next week!
8 notes · View notes
draggingthedregs · 4 years
Note
Writing prompt: please please write about Kaz and Jesper where Kaz is actually treating Jesper like a friend and not an inconvenience? Something post-series, I guess? Like they could be talking about wylan or inej or anything! Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
a/n: okay, okay, i was super duper excited about writing this. when i saw it in my asks i immediately got excited for all the possibilities. i love jesper and kaz’s friendship so damn much and i always love their little moments in both the books and any other fanfics i’ve read. more people need to give them the best friend content they deserve.
word count: 1577
~~~
Maybe it was the weather, but Kaz and Jesper found themselves alone together. 
Everyone in Ketterdam believed they would have a few more weeks before the harshest of winter set in, believed the ice from the north would refrain from reaching them quite yet, they had been wrong. Frigid wind whipped through the alleys and streets, the tops of the canals beginning to freeze over, trapping the stagnant boats against their mooring. 
Jesper stayed with Wylan most of the time, all-but moving in with him. However, his room at the Slat still remained, just in case he ever needed it in between jobs or after a long night at the Crow Club. Jesper had asked Kaz why he never gave it to someone else, tossed whatever was left  of his belongings into Fifth Harbor, and Kaz could never give him a straight answer. 
On this night, as the cold settled deep into the bones of anyone stupid enough to be out, Jesper found himself thankful that he didn’t need to walk all the way back to Wylan’s mansion. He bounded up the Slat’s rickety stairs, taking two at a time, to pay Kaz an unexpected visit, one of which he was sure to enjoy. 
Jesper rapped twice before announcing his presence through the wood. “Your favorite crow has returned to the nest.” 
He heard Kaz’s uneven gait through the door as he approached, opened the lock with a soft click, and swung the door wide for him to enter. “Favorite is a very strong assumption.” Kaz turned and started back to his desk, “Lock it behind you.”
“It’s alright. You don’t have to say it, I know it’s true. I can feel it in my heart.” 
Kaz let out a scoff, but the smile on his face was genuine. “I’m sure you can.”
Jesper pulled a chair from the corner of the room, setting it in front of his desk. “Well, actually, I think I might be tied with Inej nowadays.”
The smile on his lips faded, replaced with an ache that was so apparent, it was palpable. Inej had been gone for over eight months and, from what Jesper understood, mailing letters to and from a ship on the ocean was exceedingly difficult. Not to mention never knowing if the girl he sent letters to was even alive to receive them anymore. 
The joking edge left Jesper’s words, replaced with sincerity. “Have you heard from her?”
Kaz shook his head, staring at the paper on his desk. “Not since I responded to her last letter.” 
That had been over three weeks ago. 
Inej had written letting Kaz know that she would be home later then she originally thought, months later in fact. She explained that the slaver she had been following was part of a larger fleet, and the Wraith would be their undoing. 
Jesper looked again at the papers laying in front of him, now seeing what they were. Inej’s original letter was there, her delicate scrawl dancing across the page, the ink remaining untouched and unsmudged. Above it lay another piece of parchment, this one unfinished and in Kaz’s thick, scratchy handwriting. 
He had been writing her again, possibly for a second or third time for all that Jesper knew. There were ink stains along his hand and even on his temple, where he had clearly gotten lost in thought. 
“Kaz, I’m sure she’s alright. She’s the Wraith, no one can get a hold of her.”
Normally, and with anybody else, Kaz would’ve ignored them, would’ve waved them off and pushed his pain aside. “Things are different at sea… Even Inej could fall victim.”
“But she won’t. She’ll come home and crawl right back through your window and feed those stupid birds.” 
Kaz sighed, his thumb tracing across her words. The closer Jesper looked, the more pain and exhaustion he saw. Kaz didn’t sleep on a good day, let alone when he was focused on a job or a fat sum of kruge coming their way, but this was different. The entirety of his body seemed weighted now, his shoulders drooping, the circles under his eyes purple, instead of their usual grey. 
Jesper’s voice broke the silence. “I miss laughing with her. She always found my stupid jokes funny. Or at least she pretended to.” 
Kaz didn’t even look up from her letter as he answered. His voice so raw, it almost felt as though these words weren’t intended for Jesper at all. “I miss her voice. I keep hearing it in my head… I didn’t think I’d ever ask for another Suli proverb to tell me what an ass I was being but…” 
“She did have a lot of those, didn’t she?” Jes couldn’t help but smile, “And she’d pop out of the dark, waving her finger, telling us off like the ghost of an angry grandmother.” 
Jesper saw the beginnings of a smile pulling at Kaz’s lips and he continued, hoping that these stories of Inej might make her reappear in front of them, clucking her tongue at their memory of her. 
“She’d stand with her arms crossed, staring as you explained a plan, waiting to call you out on something. And she could always find something. Then she’d shake her head and disappear again.”
“My ever-opinionated shadow.” Kaz chuckled.
“That’s certainly one way to put it. She was never afraid to say what she thought or to be who she was. I guess it’s one of the things I’ve always admired about her.” Jesper took another moment, the joke faded from his voice but a fond smile remained. “She’s the best of us.”
Kaz glanced again at the letter and, to Jesper’s shock, laughed. “Inej would kill us if she heard us talking like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like she’s dead.”
Now it was Jesper’s turn to laugh. He hadn’t even thought of how remanicient their conversation was to a funeral and when he realized it, he couldn’t help but find it hilarious. The idea of Captain Inej Ghafa, the Wraith, dying was nearly unthinkable, though Jesper was unsettled by certain memories that didn’t render the thought impossible. 
Kaz tucked the letters into a neat stack, setting them to the side, then reached into his desk, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Along with the bottle, he set two glasses in the table. He poured them both generously before sliding one over to Jesper’s side of the desk. 
“Are we getting drunk at our non-funeral now too?”
He took a sip, his lips curling as it burned along the back of his throat. “Let’s just see how this one drink goes.”
Jesper lifted the glass in a half-cheers, taking a drink himself. 
“So,” Kaz began, “Why are you here?” Though it may have come off as harsh, Jes knew what he meant. After so many years, it was easy to tell when Kaz really wanted you gone. 
“I was picking up something at the club and it was way too cold to walk all the way home.” 
“Then I take it all is well with our sunshiniest demolitions expert?”
A laugh escaped Jesper. “We’re fine. He hasn’t thrown me to the curb yet.”
“And he won’t.”
“I mean- I might throw me to the curb too. Or maybe into the harbor.” 
Kaz took a nonchalant sip. “I wouldn’t.”
The remark caught Jesper off guard. Sure, he knew that Kaz had taken a liking to him, perhaps even cared for him, but hearing it aloud seemed to strike harder than he’d expected. Instead of pushing the matter as he may have liked, he simply shrugged. “You’ve never had to share a bedroom with me.” 
Another smile creeped onto Kaz’s lips as he leaned back in his chair. “And perhaps that’s a good thing.”
Jesper finished his drink, setting the empty glass on the table. “I suppose I’ve annoyed you enough for one night, I should probably get to bed. I’ll need to be home early before Wylan starts to panic.”
“Of course not but we wouldn’t want that.” Kaz glanced to his letter, already longing for the near memorized words beneath his attempt. 
“You shouldn’t panic either, if you even can. Truth be told, I’m never sure what emotions you possess, though Helvar does have a few theories.”
A small grumble escaped Kaz’s throat as he rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he does.”
Jes laughed, “I just meant that she’ll write. Or she’ll pop back up in the middle of the night and scare you out of your gloves.” 
With a roll of his eyes, “A man can certainly dream.”
As he made his way to the door, Jesper found himself stopping short, a question rattling around in his brain that he couldn’t keep down any longer. “Why wouldn’t you? Why haven’t you?”
“What?”
“Thrown me out. Everything is still in my room and earlier you said you wouldn’t throw me out… Why?”
Kaz considered him for a moment. The silence hung between them like a thick blanket, needing to be wrung free of water, until he finally answered. “I suppose I like having you around, Jesper. I don’t think I’m really ready to see you go just yet.” A wide, genuine smile took over as he continued. “Even if you are a little too comfortable gambling away my money and shooting bullet holes in my walls.”
Jesper nodded, realizing he had a smile of his own to match. “Goodnight, Kaz.”
“Goodnight, Jes.”
fin.
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enbychuya · 4 years
Text
SEPTEMBER’S RAID
A/N Here is the first part of my fic for @grishaversebigbang 
CORPORALKI: @dirtyhandsnet, @jesper-faheyyy, and @softgr3mlin
MATERIALKI: @cla-oh (here!), @corpsecro (art here!), @siloueta, @myghostwontassociate
SUMMARY: Join your favorite Crows in a hilarious adventure full of challenges, stealth, and forty-five million kruge as our main characters gear up for the wildest heist of their lives...AREA 51. 
Here’s a link to the fic on Ao3!
[PART ONE UNDER THE CUT]
PART ONE: THE PLAN Kaz Brekker interlaced his gloved hands, staring down the Wylan. “Why should I break into Area 51 for you? I don’t see a benefit.” Wylan shifted his weight. “Well, we could get the gang moving again. It’s been a while since we’ve been together. Also, I’ll give you money.” “How much?” He narrowed his eyes. “How does forty million kruge sound?” “Delightful. Make it fifty, and then we’ll talk.” “My father gave you thirty for breaking into the Ice Court!” Wylan protested. “It’s your business offer. I’ll fold. A bit. Forty-five, and you need to contact Nina and Inej.” He nearly choked. “But we haven’t heard from Inej since she left.” “You haven’t. Make it happen, or there won’t be a heist.” Kaz stood from his desk chair, crow-headed cane already firmly in his hand. “I just thought you could do it because I didn’t think anyone else could.” Everything came out in one breath. “And it would be fucking cool to find out if aliens exist.” “It’s a challenge, I know that much. But for forty-five million kruge…” His facial expression had shifted to one Wylan knew quite well. Scheming face. “I need you and that boyfriend of yours. We have a heist to pull off.” ~~~ Inej Ghafa, Dirtyhands’ former spider, had unsheathed her knives yet again. She had captured the captain of a slave ship, and now his blood would spill on the deck as payment for the passage. Assigning one of her crewmates to man the ship, she crept down to the hold, freeing everyone. They could sail back to where they came from, or become a part of her crew. It was a choice, and an interesting one. She didn’t see the seagull at first until it dropped an envelope on the deck of the ship. She turned, curious. A perfect black seal with a crow’s head. She opened the envelope, and finding, in Jesper’s perfect scrawl, a letter, and a single dried flower. She unfurled it curiously. ‘Hi, Inej! No, you need to make it more formal! Okay, okay, fine. Dearest Inej, Kaz wants you to- THAT’S TOO ABRUPT! Okay, well, how about, you dictate, and I’ll write, merch? I thought we were already doing that!’ Inej had to laugh. That was definitely Wylan and Jesper. She missed watching them argue and drive each other wild. She continued to read, wondering what the couple had to say. Dearest Inej, we, Wylan and Jesper, and absolutely nobody else, would like to request for you to come back to Kerch for a job. Wylan, you have to mention Kaz at some point. Fine, Kaz wants you for another job and wanted us to tell you. We’re breaking into Area 51, but we need a way to get to the Southern Colonies. I thought we could perhaps get a boat from our favorite deadly captain? We’ll make it quick, we promise. Yeah, it was Jes’s idea to see if aliens exist. Also, we’re paying Kaz 45 million kruge so we kinda really need you to agree to this…’ Inej chuckled, watching their conversation heat up. Wow, 45 million kruge? She could buy a fleet of ships for that. It was a rather enticing proposal, and she DID want to see Nina and the gang again. And Kaz. Oh, saints, Kaz Brekker. Could she really stand two weeks on board her ship with the insufferable schemer? She thought of how he had found her family again, and how they had left off. Maybe she could. All she needed was an idea. Inej went to her quarters on the ship, plucking a pen off her desk, and dashed back a reply. I’ll be in the harbor by sundown tomorrow. ~~~
Nina woke to a letter, which had somehow found its way to her, in the middle of Ravka. She was traveling to go see Matthias, who was now living near Os Kervo. She had gone back to The Little Palace to seek training for her newfound powers and to separate herself from the dangerous drug that was jurda parem, and it had mostly succeeded. She still felt the empty cravings sometimes, burning her from the inside out, but not of the magnitude she had the first few weeks. She opened the letter cautiously, hoping it was something from Matthias. Nina was only mildly disappointed when she realized it was Jesper’s tidy lettering and not the penmanship of her boyfriend. Nina, darling, we’d love to have you back in Ketterdam for a heist (read: Wylan made an irresponsible financial decision and now we’re going to Area 51 with Kaz and we need you). Anyway, bring Matthias, we’ll meet you at the harbor in Os Kervo with Inej if our plan goes well. Oh, and if you need an incentive, we’re paying Kaz forty-five million kruge and splitting it. And yes, I will buy you all the waffles you could possibly eat. She laughed a bit, Jesper’s humor still evident, even in writing form. She was quite partial to Kerch waffles, though, and it wouldn’t hurt to see her friends again. See you in Ravka! xoxo Jesper and Wylan. Nina smiled slightly. Of course, she would go visit Wylan and Jesper, and she was sure Matthias wouldn’t mind coming, too. But a little twinge of doubt struck her. What if she still wasn’t powerful enough to be useful? No. She had spread the plague without her old powers and helped save Kuwei Yul-Bo from being hunted. She could do this. Besides, her friends wouldn’t care if she could still crush someone’s windpipe or drop their pulse, just if she stayed alive. She was glad to be near Kribirsk, but the idea of crossing what had used to be the Unsea still made her uneasy. Who knew if the Darkling would be back? She continued on, determination burning in her chest. After the Ice Court, she felt like Area 51 would be a piece of cake. One last heist, if only for old times’ sake. She figured she would write back as soon as she was able, but she still had to worry about getting to Os Kervo safely. It would take her a few days until she reached it, but the road from Kribirsk would take her right to it. ~~~ Jesper paced anxiously, waiting for the replies from Nina, Matthias, and Inej. Wylan was sprawled on one of the chairs in the living room, watching his boyfriend carefully. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, Jes. Kaz said-” “Kaz says a lot of things, merchling. Whether or not he means them is another story. I don’t think even he can predict how Nina and Inej will react to the letters. We basically commanded them to come.” “I know, Jesper. I think Nina will be excited, especially since you promised waffles. Inej, well, she’s free now, but she is going to steer the ship.” He stood, and took Jesper’s hand. “Like most of Kaz’s plans, this one is bound to succeed.” The letter from Inej swept gracefully onto the floor from the leg of a passing crow, and Jesper picked it up. He scanned the single line, brow furrowing before he broke into a grin. “‘I’ll be in the harbor by sundown tomorrow.’” He read it excitedly. “We have to let Kaz know. I’ll bet he’ll want to see her.” “And I’ll bet that there’s gonna be tension of some sort. Let’s hope things aren’t batshit crazy, we ARE going to sail for two weeks.” “I thought we were going to the Southern Colonies.” Jesper’s shoulders had relaxed and he stopped pacing. “That’s where Area 51 is, isn’t it?” It was Wylan’s turn to fidget. “Actually, I’m not quite sure where it is. Kaz just said we’d be going. It’s probably past the Southern Colonies, in some remote place we don’t know.” “I think it’s called Nevada, and it’s definitely a place people know.” Wylan laughed. “I know, Nevada has a lot of people. I just mean Area 51 as a whole, it’s in a remote spot of Nevada. I hope Kaz has a simple plan.” “When does Kaz ever have a simple plan?” “Touché.” Jesper settled on the couch near Wylan, his leg bouncing slightly. “We need to let Kaz know, though. He was starting to make an alternative plan,” Wylan said sensibly. “For forty-five million kruge, Kaz will make hundreds of plans.” Wylan smirked. “Who’s telling Kaz that Inej said yes?” “Whoever didn’t promise Nina all the waffles she could eat,” Jesper grinned. “I AM the one who’s paying Kaz. I suppose it’s best I do it,” Wylan relented. “No mourners,” Jesper murmured. “No funerals,” Wylan finished.
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