#how is this. popular take on death of a salesman

[doublekanble]

heart

Alastor/reader (gnc)

romantic-platonic

word count: 5.5k

or, alastor is a man of many things, and you believed he can never love without hurting his love. tw: a small paragraph of al eating your heart.

1. “–I was right.”  you coughed, the more you do, the more your voice choked on itself. Your body seized and shuddered with every beat of your heart as blood spew from the wound, already giving up on getting yourself away when you can barely breathe. He wishes he could’ve made it easier for you, but he got caught up. “you really are selfish…”

As the hand he’s holding onto quickly grew cold, Alastor hoped, for all its worth, that when he fall, however long it’ll takes, you’ll find the strength to finally accept his love for you. For now, he set his left ear over your heart, his hair stained red, Alastor listened closely for what he thought was the last time, as you and your life stops entirely.

(having done this time and time again, for the first time in a long time, he felt a longing for warmth, your warmth, the one seeping from you and dissipating with the cold air in the night.)

2. If there is ever a need to described himself, then Alastor would be the first to say that he is a man of many thing.

The charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor second to none. He’s your friendly neighbor who greets you with a smile and a caring friend. He’s the perfect son and an amiable stranger. Everything you want, he will be. Everything, except all you ever wanted from him is someone to talk to.

You’ve always a strong fascination for writing from years gone by. From the gloomy and miserable words of a poor but astute poet, riddled with nihilism and pain, to a long-gone romanticist who wrote fairy tales and chasing love he couldn’t held in his hand, or a myth, lost to time and rewritten over and over again. All the books you ever care to curated in your home is that of the classic and the dead.

Perhaps that’s why he’d grown so attached to you and the poetry you sewn into existence with clumsy words.

With his unfortunate lot in life despite his mother’s best effort –god bless that woman, Alastor would, in time, learn how to play charade better than anyone else, barely remembering the last time he bother to show care to anyone else with love and honesty rather than bemusement. He doesn’t need moth-bitten books to guide him through conversation when he can just as easily play the role of a salesman, granting you the option to pick between a piece of stale bread or the last supper. But only a salesman in the end, his words and gestures is with all the saccharine and none of the sugar.

Although he could never hope to weaves paintings with his word, ever only a mockery of one, Alastor welcome his shortcoming in strides, as long as people bought into his act. For the love he lacks in his heart, valuable you, his treasured companion, would make up for it all.

In stark contrast to his hidden callousness, you were a much more genuine person. The books and stories you gathered throughout your short-lived life give you a means to convey the feelings that made up your whole existence. In the occasion where he manage to pick the right topic, you would choose to hastily penned out your thoughts, writings border-on obsessive as you speak of vivid strokes of emotions no single word in any language can ever hope to capture. And yet, your heart, enraptured by the scenery, frantically beat so loudly in your chest as you speak of worlds end and death departed with shared poison; it would also spoke of a love so ordinary and mundane.

You’d never mourned the Danish storyteller that chased love endlessly, simple deeming it a life worth living. He wondered if you ever regretted telling him that.

(you sing praises to the odds and the out of sort while cursing at the commonplace of life, Alastor charmed the ordinary and laugh at the macabre death brings. as long as you’re there by his side, he have no need to love anything else.)

 3. Just like everything else about you, your close proximity to Alastor is not the standard, and should always be seen as an exception.

That evening, you both got shooed away after a particularly early dinner, his mother’s only excuses was that you, the esteemed and beloved guest, already help with cooking, so it’s only natural you’ll get to spend the rest of the stay resting up. Even if the most you ever did was being so horrendous at chopping veggies, Alastor ended up taking over your load instead.

He laugh about it, saying that you’re pretending so you don’t have to do the work. His mother slapped him on the back of his head, while he nearly chop off his own fingers, she comforts you about your culinary skill. You smile at him when she turns her back on you both, knowing full well Alastor’s fighting his instinct to throw the first thing in his hand at you.

You two stand awkwardly on the porch and stare at the only available seat before Alastor argues that he did the most work so he should take the rocking chair. You point out how he’s practically whispering in the hope of his mother not noticing, he doesn’t bother to deny it.

After some mindless chatter, Alastor would suddenly joke about how if he were to ever read the same works as you, maybe he’ll be able to conceived a love so vicious and gentle too. You, sitting just by his feet, only gives him a sheepish smile. It wasn’t until before you’re at the front of his door, already bid his mother goodbye and ready to go back, that you would throw a remark at him.

“I think you’re a pretty vicious guy on your own,” you walk the three step down and continued through the front walk nonchalantly, hands in your coat pocket instead of linking with his like usual. “If you were to love someone, you’ll hurt them in the end. Even if you were to read all of my books.”

You stand at his gate. Although you’re waiting to see whether he’s going to go with you, you might as well have been gauging his reaction. Unconsciously, as he catches your gaze, he relaxed his grip and stride towards you like a panther to a sitting duck.

“You’re welcomed to, by the way. Just don’t dog-tag them.” Faint stinging shot through the heart of his hands from where his nails was digging into. His laugh sounds more like choking as he ignores your offer for now.

“Now, I wasn’t aware you have such a dreadful view of me, let alone thinking I can’t – what?” incredulously, Alastor barks “Love?! HAH!I supposed one of us are going to have to break that pathetic news to my mother.”

The moment he reach you, he catches a soft sigh falling from your lips, “It’s not that I think you can’t, Al.” the nickname that he imprinted on your frontal lobe sounded like nails on chalkboard, “It’s that I think you shouldn’t.”

“How delightful…”

You turned and began to walk on your own. If Alastor was anyone else, he would’ve taken this at face value and get offended at your eccentricity.

“And where, pray tell, does these impressions of yours come from?” He snatched your left arm, pulling it from its resting place and do the job himself. You give him a look, he smiles.

“I’ve been watching you.” His expression must’ve been something, enough for you to instantly stop on the sidewalk as you stammered and tries to pull your arm from him. “Not like that you deviant! I was just trying to get a read on you, since everyone kept talking about you being unattached and all.”

“Yes, yes, I know. What now, you want in on the chase? It’s ok dear, I know I’m utterly irresistible!” Refusing to let go of you, he only laugh on as you scowl. It’s well known to everyone that Alastor have been available for the longest time since anyone ever known him. It was also a well-kept mystery, the fact he have never courted a single person throughout his entire life.

“Utterly hogwash, that’s what you are.” Huffing to yourself, you finally would relent your arm to him. Your shared steps echoing across the darkening street, it’s near curfew. “I do have to say, I see what they meant, about you being a good spouse and all that,” He smiles a bit brighter at that, “But I just can’t see you being vulnerable with anyone else. You despises things not going your way, and love just have too much uncertainty!”

“Yes, yes,” he repeats, as if soothing you from a tantrum, “Weak and frail Alastor, the poor soot of New Orleans, unable to tear his ribcages open and show everyone his organs the same way his beloved whimsical friend here does every day ~.” You hiss as he settled his own weight against you with his head on your shoulder, nearly knocking the both onto the ground, “I guess you’ll just have to be with me for the rest of your life then! If you don’t, I’ll simply drown in my own piled up misery! What a life it’ll be!”

“Sure you will. Now get off and take me back home you dramatic coot.”

4. At that time, there was no need for Alastor to inquire your meaning of “vicious”.

In direct contrast to your trusting nature, you’re also perceptive and doubtful to a fault. The first slight of your tongue was a comment on how he can stop smiling around you. Always with that same gaze as you have now, lying underneath him. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember what he said to you that day. But it was enough for you to stood up and walked from the table with a ten-dollar bill pin under your half-finished lemon tea. The issue was quickly resolved with a phone call to your home, but he quickly learned that you don’t take kindly to – and quite frankly, refused to participate in – saccharine sweet insult.

But at what point did he stop hiding himself and let you read him freely, he thought. If he bit down on his tongue until he bleeds and shut you out like how he did to so many others who couldn’t even take one step near him, then maybe something could’ve turn out differently.

Replaying that moment over and over in his head, for the first time in his life, Alastor think about the concept of love, really think about it. It simply was an aspect of life that he never pay mind to, equating it with romance book and kissing under starry skies, and thus, utterly useless. When he think of love, all he have to go off of is his dear old mother, who sacrifices and suffers so much for him, which, in time, he pay her back with everything he have. His life was only about her and himself and the bodies under the forest floor and it was everything he wanted and more. Until one rainy day, with his eyes on the script he’s writing out for tomorrow’s broadcast, bleary-eyed and hearing the bed calling his name, he thought about you.

When he came to, he already dropped his coffee cup. The brown liquid burns, even through his slipper.

After that, Alastor would start picking out books from your carefully curated shelves, sitting in your armchair and skims through the lines while you spread across the ground like an old cat, he tried to find the feelings that you described to him in the same page you’d read a million times and over. But as he does so, he would soon find that there’s not a single word in any of those old and yellowed pages of yours that is able to captured the quickly spreading rot in his heart. In a frenzied, Alastor would burn through your small library faster than you could ever hope for.

(Alastor knows that time and time, again and again, as long as you’re willing to reach for his hand, he will never let go of yours.

at some point, he’d stop caring about whether you’re willing to at all. why would he, when the meaning of being able to love you became all he care to know at all.)

5.

“You don’t need to love like I do, you know that, right?”

He turns to you, on your stomach, lying in your nest of blankets and pillows with a pencil in hand putting down incomprehensible charcoal shape.

“Bragging now, are we?” he gets up from the armchair and settled down by your side, eyes watching your hand while propping the book he was reading in his lap. You crank your neck and stare at him with a look, “And how are you so sure I want to love like you, dear?”

“You’ve been plowing through my books.”

He sends you a beaming smile, acting innocent while playing with your hair.

“You offered.”

“Aren’t they all the one I told you about?”

Your eyes on the book he’s holding, then the one he just placed back into the shelves. It feels like he’s back in his mother’s kitchen, with his dirty nails behind his back and a poor excuse for the missing bread on the dinner table. Except this time, there’s just you and him in your small living room, and you’re looking awfully smug about it.

Raising his hand in the air, he sigh pitifully, “Ah~, guilty as charged, darling.” and offers nothing else. The silence afterward is enough of a white flag anyway.

Pleased with what you got from him, you turn back to your work, seemingly unaware (or even worse, maybe you don’t care at all) about the gnawing in his chest and the storm raging in his head while his hand weaves through your hair.

The last time you talked to him about love, you more-or-less called him and his love hazardous. While Alastor have no trouble with accepting it from anyone else, with you, it feels as if you’re discarding a part of him to the dogs. Although his knowledge on many topics far exceeds yours, when it came to pure and genuine emotions from the heart, you’d know enough to examine him under all type of love there is, and time after time you’d deemed him impossible to ever love. And despite knowing loving and love is wholly separate, it tears him open to even considers that you’d thought of him as unable to love and be loved and something about it is just so incredibly agonizing to the point of wanting to rip you open so you can see just how unlovable you are too.

But in your living room, sitting right next to you the way no one else is allowed to. He sigh, making sure his words doesn’t come off as unpleasant as he feels.

“If I don’t have to love like you, then how do you supposed I should be doing it?”

“I’m not sure, but hopefully not at all.” You said offhandedly, but you might as well just drove a knife through his stomach, but it’s you, so he let it be, “If you can’t help yourself though, you’ll probably do something really horrible.”

“What do you supposed I’ll do?”

You turn to him, a hint of surprise in your eyes at how close he is now, but you let him be, “Undecided. But you seems like the type to let it eats you alive.”

“I’ll let my love eats me?” Laughing in disbelief, he could almost call you cute with how you nodded to yourself, resolute in your idea about him.

“You’ll let it eats you, yes.”

Alastor chuckled to himself as he tap your sketchbook twice, you hand it to him.

“Well, I’ll need to make sure that I won’t be alone, aren’t I?”

You laugh openly and said that’s true, he’s too selfish to be taken alone. Alastor couldn’t care about how much of that was just more of your usual jest and how much of it is your view of who he is. If you, who love so selflessly and readily, agrees without push back, that someone as selfish as him will doomed whoever it is that he loves so much, then who is he to deny.

At that time, the line of charcoal you put onto the paper come together to show a shadow of a small man dragging a coat by his unseen feet, a mock-up from one of the stories that you loved. Alastor stop wondering if he ever could love something like the poems and stories you’ve read a million times over, instead, he think it’s best if he loves the way you expected him to, the way he can see himself doing.

6. To be loved is to be changed.

You told him this while he stand in your kitchen, trying to shoo you back to the table so he can work without fuzzing over you. And now, while he’s holding you, so cold and so unlike you, Alastor wondered whether you would like it if your bones were to be buried in the same spot as the others.

As much as he’d love to keep it near with him, there’s not a single excuse in the whole round earth that can ever help him convinced his mother of letting him uprooted the garden out back and buried you down there, neither can he bring you with him everywhere. Alastor wants to try taking you to the morgue after he’s done, but how do you explain bringing in a set of skeleton with missing ribs? It’s simple, really.

You don’t.

He lifted you up in his arms and sat back on his sofa, your lulling head settled just below his chin, wanted to savor what’s left of you for just a bit more before rigor mortis sets in and makes you even less of what you are now. The gramophone in the corner of his room spewed utter nonsense as Alastor closes his eyes.

It’s Tuesday tomorrow, but he will have to roll up his sleeves and get to work on cleaning out one of the guest room in his hunting lodge if he doesn’t want the ants to take you first. He’ll have to call in sick, too. Alastor likes to think that when he sees you again, you’ll at least have the will to appreciate the troubles he went through for you and not complaint about being locked up inside. You and the love you have for him, akin to small river, a gentle stream, with orange and yellow leaves floating across, tucked in a forest somewhere. It widdled down the rocks and carved a path for itself. The same one that you oh so heartlessly withheld from Alastor.

You'd appreciate being bury in such a scenery, it’s a shame you won’t be, though your body would’ve made way for the prettiest flowers. But you’ll have to take what he can afford to give. To be loved is to be changed, after all.

(when, not if. having gone on for this long, he’s sure that you’re suspended in between life and death in the hell you refuses to ever believe in. half of him prayed that there’s not a river there so you can drown yourself in it just to forget all about him. the other half prayed you’ll remember nothing at all, even of the literature you love so much.

at some point, where will you stop being yourself? when you forget enough of yourself? Alastor doesn’t need to care about the semantics. he knows he’ll choose you time and again, even if you forget how you love.)

7. You take your time reading through farewell letters.

Unless the cats and dogs on the street can write, then there’s only a few, you kept a significantly smaller number of friends by your side. But it must’ve been hard to even focus with Alastor sitting right next to you.

“Darling, surely we can-“

“Please don’t make this any harder than it already was, Alastor.”

Desperately holding onto your wrist and halted your pace for just a second, he all but plead a hopeless case.

“You’re not thinking straight! Are you really just going to up and leave because someone told you so? After living your whole life here?!”

Your hand, moving like clockwork, already finished with the letters, refusing to stay in his. You pulled back from him and place the rest of the letters in a small wooden box with a deer carved on its lid. “You know it’s not just that.”

In times like these, he wonders if it was himself who have gone mad. As if the whole world is in on one big joke and you are just following along with it. Any moment now, you’ll burst into laughter and tell him that everything is a lie. You’re not moving to Washington to help a friend you know for some years with their business, and you’re not leaving him, not after everything he showed you. But you’re holding onto the letter with his mother’s name written on the front with misty eyes as if you have no other choice. So he held you by the shoulders to the point digging his nails into it and turned you to look at him.

“Then what else is there?! For Christ sakes-“ you look as if this is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in your life, he felt as if this is the hardest battle he have to fight, “Please, mon Chéri, talk to me...”

Alastor collapse onto you, his whole weight pins you down on your small couch. Head on your chest, he listens as your heart beats just a bit faster. You let him.

“…what do you think we are, Alastor?”

Without hesitation, he reply.

“We are whatever you want us to be. Whatever it takes for you to stay.”

For someone like you, a romantic at heart, just like who he is now, that should’ve been enough for you to at least considers the possibility of forgetting about what’s right and wrong. For sure, it would’ve been enough for you to stay, if you were anyone else.

But you’re you, and he’s only himself. The romantic in you see through his act for the longest time and still fall in love with him, but just like how your love is selfless and kind, it’s also viciously rational. If you were anyone else, you would’ve ignored the rational part of yours.

“I’m sorry, Alastor.” All this time, he was desperately proving himself to you. Doing everything in his power just so you’re willing to forget your rationale and love him just as much as he loves you. “We’ll die loving each other.”

He doesn’t care if he die, Alastor wants to scream out. He’s ready to die to love you, he have been screaming out all this time. But despite all of his effort, you deemed him a love not worth chasing after till death, while he already planned the path to hell with you.

Your fingers, shaky and gentle, brush through his hair. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have to place himself bare and vulnerable like this. But if you were anyone else, he wouldn’t have love you at all. And if it’s death holding you back from loving him, then so be it.

8. For a long time now, Alastor knows you more than anyone else.

You were never a dancer, not by choice either. Its pathetic in the cutest way, how you froze up and refused to move, the way you stutters and try to pull from him only ever makes him want to bully you more. But from the way your brows draws together, to the way you’d tripped over yourself chasing after his footstep, all of it, Alastor earned from you.

From the way you stayed up overnight, to how the bottom of your shoes dragged against the pavement as you walk. From the tip of your pencil, to the bottom of your bookshelves. Every books on your shelves and every sketches. Alastor swear with all his life that no one else knows better than him when it came to you.

He knows intimately the curves you’d penned on your signatures; he knows how you’d change your mind at a moment notice about anything, he knows how you take with you small things on the side of the road that you deemed pretty enough and he knows you still have a lot you want to do here that you’ve told your lovely friend. So it’s only normal for Alastor, the person you grown to love so much, to know exactly why you refuses to even considers being by his side, and it’s just his luck that he also knows just how to write a letter with words just like yours.

So when was it that you got a friend you trusted so wholeheartedly, so faithfully, so much so, you’re your dearly cherished Alastor became a second thought in your mind? Weren’t you a romantic? Weren’t romantics idiots who can’t think straight when it come to love? So why was it that you alone refuses to let yourself love him and remained so loyal to someone you only considered a friend, someone who couldn’t even tell your lettering from his? Was it them? Who fed you lies after lies to captured you in their own hands? Was it them who taught you the telling and sign of a madman? Is that why your view of him was so horrible, you' refused to ever fathom life with him?

He knows you would’ve hated him for this, but Alastor adores you, and sometimes you just don’t know what’s best for you, even when it’s staring at you from across the front walk and following you to your home.

So if someone as rational as you can be swayed back to his lodge for just one more visit, then your friend surely can be swayed too, to come and visit you some other time, down here in your beloved New Orleans.

9. If anyone ever ask anyone else, then they will say that Alastor, beloved local radio host of New Orleans, is a man of many things. But if they were to ask you, then he’s one of the person you cherished the most, and your dearest friend.

He’s everything, the charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor that’s second to none. Alastor plays himself as your friendly neighbor who will always greets you with a smile and a clenched fist behind his back, hiding a stain just on the cuff of his sleeve in the early morning, a caring friend that offers you help just in the nick of time. Alastor is his mother’s perfect son, who spent more time comforting her about your whereabouts than to care for his own fracturing mind; an amiable stranger, gripping the newspaper detailing yet another disappearance with a bit too much force. Everything you have ever wanted him to be, he was. And yet, to his utter bewilderment and maddening grief, you refused to let him be anyone other than a friend you talked to about everything.

In the letters you saved from your beloved pen pal-turn-missing person, they would call you mature and wise. Sentimental words and kind, to his eyes, all are but hollowed gestures advising, agreeing, and offering you a place up in Washington until you can forget all about him and move on with your life, leaving Alastor to be nothing more than a nostalgic blot on the tablecloth, nothing more than yearning in early Junes. Until you forget the fact you ever love him at all, all because you decided that you couldn’t afford to let yourself be love by him.

Keeping all of it in mind, Alastor decides your dear friend should be bury far away from the comfort of your room. Three years, seven months and eleven days after your death, Alastor dragged a body into the woods. Not just any old one like usual, but not anything else too special.

It’s odd, even though you’ve been gone for the more than a year by now, it’s almost as if you’ve neve left his side. Maybe it’s the rest of you, lying peacefully in your nest of pillows and blankets, in your room that he diligently maintain. Maybe it’s your shared books he sometimes takes from his shelves and skims through in the dead of night after a hard day. Maybe it’s the locked box, sitting by his work desk welcoming him home after a night out, the same one he held in his hands, void of blood and anything else.

Or maybe it’s the reverberating sounds of heartbeat, so unlike his own. In both his waking days, in his reveries, over the sounds of the jazz band down in his favorite speakeasy and following him into the woods. Ever so silently, oh-so gently, utterly viciously in his left ear.

In any other case, Alastor finds he absolutely adores the idea of your ghost haunting him until his fell into his grave.

(you said that he should never love because he couldn’t be in control. he mourn the fact you never even let him prove you wrong. Alastor would’ve let you dance on his rotting corpse if that’s what it takes for you to let him call you his.)

10.

Somewhere in his heart, Alastor had hoped that you of all people can evade the hand of rots.

It’s a genuine shame that in the end, all of the words in the world will do nothing to stop you from sharing the lot with the others, he thought, staring down from where he straddled you with his hand peeling off layers of skins and fat. Warm fingers brushes against your hollowed cheek, before raising a small hammer and bringing down onto your bare chest. Alastor wants to preserve you for as long as possible, but to do that properly, he might as well take all of your innards out and sewn you up. It’s not that he’s not open to that idea, Alastor love every part of you. It’s just that he’s sure you’ll be extremely upset when you find out. So he’ll have to get comfortable with doing things the hard way, no matter how hard it is to do so.

With steady fingers in spite of the drumming in his ears, Alastor patiently picks out every pieces of bones he could, placing them into a small, wooden box. With a wistful smile, he closes the lid and set it aside. He miss you already.

Pushing your lungs out of the way, he dig his hands in. With blood runs up to his wrist, Alastor tries to be as gentle as he can while pulling your heart out. One hand holding onto it, another carefully cutting away everything that ties it to your body.

Distinctly, every part of you was always warm, and over time, Alastor, who’s hands are as cold as winter itself, find comfort in your touch. It was almost like you were made just for him, and him, you. And now, with your heart, cold and silent in his hand, Alastor realized what a miserable life it will be to go on living without your warmth with him from now on until he’s six feet under. But it’s ok, he’s sure of it, because above all else, what he’s been chasing after this whole time is in his hand.

For a brief moment, Alastor wondered if he were to meet you in another lifetime, one where you aren’t so complicated and so in love with the idea of living a fair life and a right love, would you have let yourself be wrong and love him. But he’s glad that your love, with all its beautiful intricacies that causes him this much pain, with a wound in it, still look as beautiful as he hoped.

Sinking his teeth into it, into you, the taste of iron and metallic flooded his mouth and drown his senses as he closed his eyes shut and nearly buckled under the taste of you. There’s not a single word in the book to describe the visceral sensations running through his blood and spreading through his every veins. Alastor shivers, the back of his head felt numb, his fever grows as he desperately takes his time and savor you. It’s a shame you can’t last forever, but he’ll take what he can get for now.

(as his teeth tears into your veins, he hears a sounds, so familiar, somewhere in the corner of his ears. it wasn’t until he caught his own heart beating that he realized that the rhythm he’s hearing isn’t his at all.

until the day you two can meet again, until then. he pray he will never forget the sounds of your heart, beating so gently.)

#alastor #hazbin hotel #x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel oneshots

[inconspicious-random-thoughts]

Alastor my favorite, but Vox is not close behind. (Story of Vox afterlife amrite?) I just find this guy intriguing. Mostly his dynamics with the other overlords.

I would like to share some ideas I have on this guy. I only know Vox from the one episode he appeared in. Some of these ideas might have been said by someone else. I haven't been following anything, so as far as I know, these are been unsaid and I figured to share my ideas. I already mention my thoughts about his and Alastor dynamic last week so I won't go on with that in this post.

Vox seems to be the most level headed, patient, mild one (Alastor trigger aside) out of the three Vs that we seen so far. Val is volatile and violent. Velvette is rather level headed but she also a bit hot headed as well. Granted we haven't seen too much about the V's, but Vox seems to be the "nice" one out of the three. We seen the other two yell and berate their employees. Vox, we haven't seen lash out at anyone but Alastor. I'm sure Vox is guilty of cruelty. He did climb up to become an overlord in Hell after all, so he screw over A LOT of people to do so, if not straight out disposed of.But I think he went about it more strategically and intelligently over brute strength or force.

I find his relationship with Val interesting. They are definitely friends with benefits. But Val being...well..Val-volatile and violent. I have no doubt Vox had been a victim during those moods. I'm really curious on the dynamic of that. Val is use to taking his aggressions on weaker demons. So I wonder how it goes with someone own power level. Why Vox just let it keep happening? I do think Val does get Vox hooked up on the same "poison" as Angel Dust but Vox has a greater immunity by being an overlord so the affects are dampen or its just used sparsely on him.

I think Val alive is very similar to how he is in Hell. A abusive pimp and a slew of criminal activity. He just a lot more successful in his after life. It's easy to see why he's in Hell.

Vox on the other hand, I don't think he really committed any crimes. If he did, it was white collared stuff. But he did sin, Either by pride or greed or both. I think Vox lied heavily while alive which may lead in why his motto is "Trust us with..." with whatever service he selling. Sadly, when someone ask you to trust them, its usually someone you shouldn't outside of someone you know well.

I have a few ideas what he may be doing while alive.

We know he died during the 1950s and its life was more likely involved with tv. With his charisma, Vox screams showman or salesman, since he seems most concern about the Vs brand.

My first idea is he a Tv salesman. Think sketchy car salesman but with Tvs. He lies, he bait and switch. He knowingly sells knock offs for brand name prices...etc. The deceiving and the greed can easily land him in Hell.

My 2nd idea is he's a appliance repairman, mainly tvs. His business model is similar to example one but a bit more honest work. But having knowledge to repair items might explain his interested keeping up and ahead on the technology field. I like the idea having a more tech savvy trade job while he alive but in the 1950's I think tech support knowledge was rather limited for common folk.

His death was accidental electrocution fixing a faulty tv.

Now my last idea and one I lean heavily one over the other two is, he was a tv host. Which would add another level to his and Alastor rivery. Both being host of a program on their preferred media.

I'm not entirely sure what played during the 1950s. But from the top of my head, his hosting choices would be news anchor, Talk show or game show (possibly game show announcer). I'm going with, he was a very popular game show host, going by the game winning noise he emitted when Val guessed correctly.

It would fit his showmanship. It would also explain his salesman side as well. Back in that era, game shows was basically huge advertisement.

"Bobby, tell him what he won!"

-"He won a brand new kitchen! Complete with 'brand name here' wood cabinets and mint green appliances! Above is 20 feet of smart modern cabinets of maple covering the full length of the kitchen. Which includes a new 'brand name here' 13 cubic foot refrigerator freezer....etc"

I'm guessing his sins would be lying and stepping on anyone to get to the top to where he is. Maybe he committed some low fraud or embezzlement etc... for his show or his personal life.

He seem youngish/prime of his life 30s to have a natural death. Not that he exempt from that but lowers the possibility. I'm guessing he had a quick random accidental death. I'm still going with electrocution to help explain his powers. I have no idea what the 50's electric grid on stage is like but I'm sure they're not always OSHA approved. Or maybe a stage light fell on him, who knows?

That's all my thoughts and ideas on the Tv man. Hopefully it seems logical and interesting.

#hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino

[marvelsswansong]

Hi! If you're still accepting requests I'd love to see your thoughts on Eddie Munson with someone who's very quiet/introverted/shy. He seems quite outgoing and confident and I think it'd be very interesting to see how those 2 very different energies mix!

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

ahhh so i think this is so cute so here's some headcanons/thoughts on Eddie x shy gn!reader:

Eddie might be infamous for being loud, obnoxious and dramatic - going so far as to stand on top of lunch tables and scream at the popular kids for their vanity - but he'll be the total opposite with you, who's known for being the quiet bookworm that no one has any problems with.

He's the type of protective boyfriend to always insist on holding your hand or having an arm around your waist to protect you

As well as holding your books when you're book shopping

And ordering for you at a cafe or restauarant because speaking to strangers makes you a lil nervous

Especially when people you don't know ask you a question on the stop you'll freeze and just stare at them, eyes wide and blinking slowly, and it's a sign for Eddie to have to step in

"Hi there! Would you like to sample this hand cream-"

"We're fine, thank you-" Eddie steps in, linking his fingers with yours and pulling you behind him.

I mean, it was just a salesman but Eddie will still send them a death glare and protectively hug you against his chest

oh Eddie would be sooo lovingly protective over a shy S/O like that: he'll tell off Steve and the freshmen kids to be on their best behaviour around you as in

no swearing, no mean jokes, no pranks

not that they would play pranks or make jokes at your expense in the first place bc you're just too sweet to trick like that, but still. Eddie makes it a point to threaten each of them separately.

would love going on lil quiet dates with you! like dates where the focus is on just the two of you being alone together

i.e. picnic dates, strolls by the lake, cartrip to a museum in a nearby city, visiting an animal sanctuary

he'd also be obessessed with giving you soft nicknames like "my shy sweetheart", "little flower", "honeybee"

would love to lay his head on your lap and have you read to him - especially if you promise to massage his scalp whilst doing so

like out in public he'd be the more dominant, protective and possessive boyfriend constantly checking in to make sure you're fine whilst still ofc being his cheeky self

"do you need any water? should we sit down? are you getting a headache?"

"I was just thinking about if I wanted the strawberry or blueberry lemonade, Eds."

"Oh. Well, we should each get one of the other so you can try both! And if we kiss, it'll make our tongues purple."

"Eddie!"

but when it's just the two of you expect him to be super loving and clingy to the point it's nauseating

"you're so fucking hot, you know that, right?"

"you've told me that about five times in the past minute or so, Eds."

"so? it's still true every time."

baby boy lovesss to bury his head into the crook of your neck whilst snuggling against you

if anyone tries to get mean or take advantage of your shy nature, he's coming in armed for war

yes, Eddie would happily bitch slap a stranger to protect you

but at the same time you, being the more mild mannered and calm natured one, have to keep him in line at certain events

it's perfect though, y'all balance each other's energies out so well 💕💕💕

#summer answers asks #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson headcanon #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x gn!reader

[lunarrosette]

Survey Results Finally!!!

Ok! So before the whole breakdown I wanna address a couple biases and shit. So I posted this on tumblr and on a couple dndads discord servers I'm in, notably the patreon server, both of these almost definitely caused some bias in stats particularly in patreon subscription and most used social media to engage with. That said it could have been posted elsewhere (which I’m totally fine with and actively encourage the bigger and more diverse the sample is the better) but I only posted there because I wanted to minimize potential non-fans taking it and I don’t have a twitter. I also added the question of whether you have relistened and your race, ethnicity, and nationality later (as it was suggested and i thought it was a good addition) so the sample is not the full amount of people who took this survey and is smaller than other question therefore less conclusive of the dndads fanbase as a whole.

I got a total of 142 responses (and the survey is still open) so let break down all that

There were 65 questions in total, while I’m not going to break down every single one I will break down most of them

Majority listen on spotify with patreon coming in a close second, the small individual answers are a mix of a combination of two or more platforms or platforms i forgot to add/didn’t know existed

A little over half of the fandom is apart of the patreon but still remember that there is a bias in this question because of where i sent the survey

Majority of the patreon is subscribed to the EX-L level (like me!!) with EX in a pretty close second (other is apart of EX because i forgot what is was call when I first made it)

Ron comes in a very close 1st between him and henry for favorite season 1 dad

Grant takes 1st in another pretty close one between him and terry for season 1 son and surprisingly Nick Foster actually got votes! (/j)

Scam likely with quite the lead as a fan favorite NPC

Now favorite episode was one I had to track separately because I set it as a free response but her are the top 4 favorites:

In 4th with 13 votes Episode 42 Henry’s Father and the Chamber of Secrets In 3rd with 16 votes Episode 56 S.W.A.P. (SWitched Ass Papas) In 2nd with 17 votes Episode 44 Deck Picks In 1st with 23 votes Episode 61 Death of a Salesman

Normal with fan favorite season 2 PC with almost half of the fandom

Terry Jr (surprising to me I love him but ig it's the silent majority cause i never see much about him) is first place

Very unsurprisingly hermie the unworthy for 1st place, bitches love this gay theatre kid but it is a little surprising the amount of a lead he has

Another one I had to by hand but the top 4 favorite season 2 episodes are

In 4th place with 5 votes, a 4 way tie between: Episode 22 Army of Tree, Episode 4 Barf Bum Movie Men, Episode 12 Scary Movie 2, and Episode 9 Debate Me Cowards

In 3rd place with 6 votes, Episode 5 Dance Dance Revelations (surprising to me as it’s not the part of the dance with Lark and Sparrow and Normal’s crisis)

In 2nd place with 8 votes, Episode 11 That thing? You Dude

Unsurprisingly in 1st place, the episode that I’ve heard some people say is one of the best episodes of Dungeons and Daddies, with 50 votes, Episode 23 Alright

Ron takes overall favorite

Hermie surpasses (one of) his father for favorite NPC

Jodie wins as the guest PC, which kinda surprises me

Oakworthy wins as the most popular ship, most of the thin slices are variations of “I don’t ship” and some less talked about ships

The majority of fans don't have a preference between season 1 or 2

At the Mountains of Dadness is the most popular piece of bonus content

The majority of the fandom have relistened to the podcast

The subject of Jodie, almost everyone liked how Jimmy played him but the views on his character are a little different. Many poll takers said he grew on them and the majority of the fandom seems to feel neutral to positive to him. A lot of people said he was a good narrative foil to Glenn (I agree!!) and that he’s “funny as fuck” (i also agree) however some people also voiced dislike him do to messing up the timeline, being a cop, messing up Nick’s character, and just the plotline he was apart of. Lots of ACAB in the responses.

Lots of funny responses on this one:

Asexual bitches and queer bitches love dungeons and daddies (I'm an asexual bitch myself) there was a whole one (1) fully cis het allo survey taker.

The fanbase skews pretty heavily to the younger side with the majority of the fandom being 18-25 and a huge majority if you just look at it as 25 and under.

Non-binary bitches love dungeons and daddies (I’m a non-binary bitch as well)

Huge majority of fans are neurodivergent with most thin results being a variation of “I don’t know, somethings probably wrong up there”

Anxious bitches love dungeons and daddies (i am an anxious bitch)

Majority of people who responded are white, however this question was implemented later and only has 62 responses.

Most fans got into dungeons and daddies from word of mouth, typically from friends or mutuals online

Relationships with fathers are mixed. A decent amount say good, some say bad, but a lot can be put as complicated. A good amount of people used parallels from dungeons and daddies most often grant and darryl.

Your dads cool as fuck

Relationships with moms are also mixed, but a little more drastic(?). The positives are generally stronger but the negatives are also more negative.

Most sibling relationships are good! However there were a decent amount of responses stating the relationship was distant

Majority of fans are from america but there's a good variety from all over.

Majority of the fandom interacts through tumblr (this still is one with bias)

Majority of fans say their experience with the fandom has been very good

Majority of fans make some for of fan content

Oaks are very big on the fandoms kin lists, especially normal

Most common fandoms: NADPOD TAZ D20 TOH MCYT/Minecraft DHMIS OFMD PJO TMA

Most common past fandoms: Danganronpa Sanders Sides TMA MCYT/minecraft Homestuck TAZ Voltron FNAF Theatre Cartoons (ex. Gravity falls, infinity train, TOH, ect.) Undertale Harry potter PJO

Fave fan creators: ajaystillblue Kineticallyanywhere Braindos Nick-close Awnrii Critdeeznuts Nolassolace Cerealforkart Tortelliniboi Oddkid on Ao3 Midnigtartist SandrC Submergedmemory Koszmarnybudyn Harveydoesart Roolt Coolestclowns Blu3boi Nojaloarts Sapphicx Mrslikely Almondcroissantsandink

Popular headcanons: t4t henry and mercedes Trans nick Generally gender queer/gnc oaks Season 2 teens autistic Ron autistic Basically all the season 1 sons dated each other at one point (queer friend group moment) Taylor uses mobility aids (notably a cane) Bi ron

Specific headcanons I really like (if any of these are your feel free to reblog as to claim them) I think Samantha likes to dress very colorfully while Ron is on the plain side, except when she gifts him an accessory that is just as colorful as she is, and while it clashes w/ the rest of his wardrobe he treasures it because he loves her lots Walter owns chickens and he grows herbs around their pen as a natural pest repellent Glenn is a sex-favorable asexual The shortest one I can fit here is that Glenn has a lot of stick n poke tattoos that are all made by Morgan (which disappeared after the verdict) and lark has bpd Yeets skateboard is a prosthetic Terry is the only son to go to therapy AROACE SPARROW <333 Hermie rights in Cursive like an asswhole Jewish Terry Jr and Samantha

Cats are by far the favorite animal in the dndads fandom with 35 votes

And the top three favorite colors are Blue with 23 votes Purple with 30 votes Green with 39 votes

Most common recs The Magnus Archives TAZ NADPOD Just Roll With It Self care (hydrate, sleep, take care of yourself) Mob Psycho Bears in Trees Malevolent Dndads fanfics (on ao3) OFMD WWDITS Will wood Ride the cyclone The Crane Wives

Oddly specific recs

#Dungeons and Dragons #dungeons and daddies #dndads #fandom #henry oak #lark oak garcia #nick close #survey results #theyre final out bitches #to the one person who said the open answers would be a bitch to organize #yeah... #they were #but its done for now #poll is still open tho #lunarrosette’s shit

[zeevoidlight]

I wonder...

I don't know how people came to the headcanon that the Hero's Shade/The Hero of Time came back to Hyrule and died in this armor as part of the royal knights defending Zelda, probably in a great battle. Maybe it's a manga thing or a popular theory. But I have a different headcanon to why he might look like that.

His armor doesn't look at all like something from Hyrule. Is not Hylian, Goron, Zora or Gerudo, or anything similar. But I do feel like it makes sense with the type of shapes and decorations from Termina, from the Stone Tower temple and Ikana more closely. At least according to what I see. There's a lot more sand tones and reds, more round shapes and decorations that feel like painted that fill the blank spaces to make them pop up. I think his armor is so strange because it's supposed to make us understand that he died elsewhere, somewhere like Termina to connect the dots backwards to Majora's Link.

There is still of course all those things that theories point out to suggest that Link didn't stayed in Termina and actually came back to settle with Malon to eventually make Twilight Link a direct descendant of him, and I do believe that there's truth there too. But at the same time I don't see how that makes it impossible for him to not be able to go back and forth between the two realms like the Happy Mask Salesman does or Skullkid himself (unless you believe that Termina was a dream or illusion). Termina is like Wonderland but is not a dream, is just another dimension accessible through the Lost Woods portal.

So, if I may, what I think is that he stayed in Termina for a while when the Majora's mask ordeal ended. After all there's a huge gap we don't know anything about the hero of time, his entire young and adult life, and then we skip to many years after his death in the era of his descendant.

I have the headcanon that he had to stay to perform with the Indigo-go's at the festival after Majora was defeated, and also had to explain Lulu the situation of her being a single mother of six at least (where they six? I don't remember), finish some side quests that needed to be repeated but with a bit more time for it. Maybe even be with skullkid enough for him to later carve that image of both Link and himself playing together, like wanting to immortalize a good memory of both having a good time and not just it being in skullkid's imagination of what it might have been if Link stayed longer or just symbolism of their friendship. It makes for a better story to me.

Then, maybe a little grown up to say.. his appearance in his adult form (17 yo), Link returned to Hyrule and found himself being flooded with memories (I'm decorating the explanation a bit), and visiting places he and Malon crossed paths again. They become friends, fall in love (maybe encouraged by Talon between jokes and being serious), and they start to have a life in the ranch as a couple with some kids.

But it doesn't take to long until that desire of being a hero creep again into his mind. Link just can't let go the feeling that he needs to make honor to that title by being a hero, and people need to know of his deeds, is his responsibility and the weight he has to carry. But the only place that could fulfill that desire is beyond Hyrule and probably beyond Termina. We are assuming Ganondorf's execution hasn't yet occured but will be in Link's time, just later. For now Hyrule was at peace. Is the job of the hero to never let his guard go down and wait for a disaster to occur.

So with that in mind, he started to go back to Termina. For longer periods each time trying to find the next threat that might find it's way into Hyrule (because that's the only thing he's learned from childhood if anything), promising Malon he'd come back, taking longer and longer trips each time. Leaving useful things for the next hero in case he didn't return. But why Termina? Because as Aonuma has said, Termina is named like that because it's a Terminal, like an airport, so it might be kind of like a Hub to get access to other worlds, or where other dimensions connect to.

He found nothing though.

But, if you believe in the Stone Tower temple theory by Monster Maze, which is very cool and interesting on its own but basically it says that the tower is not from Termina or Hyrule, is a portal to a realm beyond Gerudo desert, so if you subscribe to that theory like I do then we can create a narrative with it. Let's say that our Link here started to investigate this temple, and that he found the Realm that connects to the tower, he found the people that built it. Or maybe he just found something more in the kingdom of Ikana, a new conflict or a mystery to solve. He should be a full adult person by then. He found another adventure and another realm that needed his help. He donned the armor, he fought his battles, but he died there. And he couldn't go back to Hyrule and Malon again... At least not alive. I don't know what kind of magic or properties that realm might have had because it's all a supposition based on theories upon theories of something that's been left to each person's imagination, but Ikana itself is very much connected to the Dead and it's curse is such a powerful one that it can't be undone. I do want to believe that some time after his death he came back to "life" technically as a stalfos (because stalfos are cool, shut up), or a revenant (revenants have one or two eyes lit up with an unnatural light, so it might not even be that he lost an eye in battle, is just his revenant eye after death signifying his unfinished business), and he probably had more adventures in that new form until he managed to return to Hyrule.

But changing from realm to realm made him became a ghost of sorts (like the ones in Twilight's courtyard), maybe changing from realm to realm as an undead/stalfos/revenant made his body more intangible. And then his spirit just wandered around as his chosen form, a golden wolf. In part because he chose that form, in part because it was a sort of calling from the triforce to take that form.

Until he felt a familiar aura. The aura of the new hero, the Hero of Twilight. Finally he would be able to ease his regrets...

That's my headcanon at least.

Also... Why is he so tall as the Shade, you ask. Well, he's a shade, a shadow. Not in the literal sense but as his title says he is the Hero's shade as in regrets, the hero's regrets. The shadow of guilt that always followed him, himself. So, in a poetic way his shadow of regret is bigger than him, and it manifests physically bigger too... Or y'know, why are there stalfos, poes and ghouls as big as houses in the Zelda universe. I guess that's just something you can do after you die.

That all. No closing thoughs other than the hero's shade, ocarina of time Link, the hero of time, is one of my favorite characters of all time.

#loz #legend of zelda #hero's shade #link #ocarina of time #majoras mask #hero of time #loz theory #headcanon #supposition

[justablah56]

maybe i will get a snack 👍 i am thinking about taylor angst 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 and his relationship with loneliness👍👍👍 cuz i was working on my little comic about taylor seeing himself in dood and dood representing all of their insecurities so like. taylor, deep down, is insecure as SHIT. but he's so good at repression he doesn't even know he's doing it i'm literally rambling now but whatever anyways taylor is well known thats why he says hes popular but also he doesnt really have friends until norm link scary hermie and i think he also has abandonment issues because of nicky and his childhood best friend that freddie mentions in one of the rad facts that moved away and since then taylorbhad been lonely so i think the thought of people leaving him hits reslly hard

also i've been thinking about mindscape stuff just in my head when i'm bored cuz i honestly love mindscapes one of my FAVE things in media like i fucking loved the death of a salesman and just hfuufidjehsyfhgegdhfhj i was like okay i have a half baked concept i play around with in my head of them going in TAYLOR'S mind for whatever reason because they need to grt something and it's in taylor's mind because taylor is the king of emotional repression so it'd be the hardest to find im so sorry this is the most half baked idea idek why i'm talking about it i'm tired but then they have to go in taylor's mind 👍👍👍 and this is the story of how everyone finds out (including himself) that taylor actually has some issues....

was wondering why you were taking so long to send another ask them saw this and ah . I see . anyways .

me when people ramble in my ask box

also 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️ comic ? abt Taylor ? and dood ?? 👀 literally thinking so much about Dood supposedly showing up as like . whatever the teens hated most or were most insecure abt or whatever the fuck and then Taylor seeing literally just *himself* like wow . honey ,, if repression were an Olympic sport Taylor would be fucking killing the competition <3 but oainxjwkdndn they go into Taylor's head and there's like a total of 7 big colorful things out in the open plus one locked door and they open it and its just an enormous junk yard of every negative thing taylor has ever experienced <3 anyways going to be thinking so hard abt Taylor's mindscape now thank you

#just blahs #cookies rambles <3

[bruhbenton]

my ENTIRE Happy Mask Salesman lore in one post [none of this is canon btw I just made this up for fun]

Ok so basically

Keilroi Miyatake (my official name of HMS) was born in the Gerudo desert, his mom is Gerudo and his dad is Hylian. His mom was a Gerudo warrior before she got kicked out because at the time being with a Hylian was frowned upon. So they hid in the desert for a bit until the Gerudos found them and told them to leave the desert. At this point his parents and him are wanderers. About 5-6 years later Keilroi now has a little sister named Marion.

Fast forward about 6 or so years, Keilroi would be 12 or so, Navuri (Keilroi's mom) gets very ill and passes away, his dad was a d*uchebag so he basically left Keilroi and Marion on their own. Keilroi basically had to learn how to fend for himself and take care of his sister. Eventually Keilroi and Marion were taken in by a tribe and they were there for probably about 10 or so years. Keilroi learned how to fight and defend himself in the tribe, and actually learned pyrokenesis. Eventually, Keilroi learned about some not so very good intentions the tribe had so the tribe started turning on him and his sister, so they left.

Keilroi's probably about 20 or so at this point, so Keilroi and his sister wander around for about 5 more years until the Hyrulean Civil War happens and Keilroi's basically forced to fight in the war on the Hylian Kingdom's side. Keilroi was basically terrified at this point and didn't know what he was even fighting for, so he just killed enemies without any afterthought. Eventually after the war, the King of Hyrule wanted him to help train guards and knights, and Keilroi was honestly scared to refuse because he thought something bad would happen. (At this point Keilroi would be around 30 or so)

After about 4 years or so, Keilroi basically connected the dots in his brain and figured out that the king is just using him for violent purposes, which he doesn't want to contribute to anymore. Keilroi knows he can't just quit because the king will probably be pissed and execute him, so Keilroi goes into hiding and fakes his death.

About 3 years after being in hiding, Keilroi assumes a new identity as the Happy Mask Salesman. The gold pieces he wears were actually an award from the royal family. He doesn't know what else to do with it, so he wears it. Most people have probably already forgotten about "Keilroi" anyway, and plus he hardly ever leaves his shop because he's probably afraid someone will notice him.

When Ganon started to rule over, he just dipped and went under the radar for a very long time. After that, he went to Termina to find the mask, shenanigans happen, we all know what happens in Majora's Mask.

Now HMS just wanders around selling masks for a living, he's pretty content with his life, so I guess that's neat.

ALSO: Due to him being in the Clock Tower in Majora's Mask for so long, that's why he doesn't age!! Because in Majora's Mask, the clock at the bottom of the screen actually goes away!!!

COOL FACTS!!!!!!!!!!

He doesn't like sharing his real name with people, so he prefers people call him Mask.

Keilroi Miyatake's name is a reference to "Kilroy", the character popularized by "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto" by Styx. "Miya" is taken from "Miyamoto", the creator of the Zelda series," and "take" is just taken from a mushroom.

He is VERY tall. He is about 7'0.

He's also HELLA strong. Built like a Jojo character under that purple clothes. Talk about a sleeper build.

His eyes are green!!

HMS is very knowledgeable on foraging for food. It is his favorite activity.

His weapon of choice is a 9-ringed broadsword, along with a Hylian shield.

👏ARO/ACE👏

Gets along pretty well with kids.

Doesn't like the rain. It reminds him of his time in Termina, which was pretty stressful for him.

Keilroi is a recluse. He lives in the middle of rural Hyrule by himself.

He has an orange cat named Gakkington, or Gakster for short, or Gakkie for shorter!!!

He enjoys learning about ancient history.

He's more tolerant to hot areas such as deserts.

He can speak Gerudo!!

He has ties with the Gerudo, but doesn't get much of a chance to interact with them because of the whole being a man thing. So usually he'll just get his sister to do it LOL

TLDR: HMS's real name is Keilroi Miyatake, had a very shitty childhood, joined a tribe in his teens, was kicked out of the tribe in his 20s, was forced to fight in the Hyrulean Civil War, then forced to contribute to more violence, got tired of it, faked his death, is now the Happy Mask Salesman.

#majoras mask #zelda #ocarina of time #happy mask salesman #im hyperfixating again #sorry im hyperfixating

[luxuriouseye486]

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[alexiaugustin]

another day another banger essay on the misogynistic character interpretations of female characters that lack literary context as well as the social political context of the time the play is set in.

#god. wrote it three nights ago and it was SO good #one of the best essays ive ever written honestly i wasn't given enough credit for the lords work i did there #recent critics saying that linda is responsible for willy's death... are u all fucking crazy. #how is this. popular take on death of a salesman #vivian.txt

[pilvimarja]

i have such a strong (and maybe unpopular?) opinion that i need to share and you were the first blog i saw! anyways, i confess to not fully enjoying daniel's character in cobra kai. personally, i feel like the writers turned him into a pretentious, elitist person all because he's rich and has nice things...don't get me wrong, seeing him develop from a low-class teenager to a hardworking adult with a successful lifestyle is great and i'm happy that he got that arc, but i feel as though he's not even a sliver of the down-to-earth, appreciative, eager person he was in the movies. it seemed like in the show, okinawa was the only place we really saw the true lovable, humble, rough-around-the-edges jersey punk that we all know and love from the films. i could be totally wrong...sorry for rambling! let me know what you think. 😅

I don't know if your opinion is that unpopular. I've seen plenty of people in and outside of the fandom criticize Daniel's writing 😅

I'm not great at character analysis, these are just my personal thoughts, but I actually like the show's (and Ralph's) portrayal of older Daniel, for the most part. I admit that I never imagined Daniel LaRusso from the movies living the life of Daniel LaRusso from Cobra Kai, but then again, I don't know how I'd picture his life going. The writers clearly wanted to "flip the script" with Johnny living the underdog life in Reseda, but I still suspect that specific parts of Daniel's early characterization were influenced by the show's sponsors. And now that they have Netflix's much bigger budget they dropped the luxury car salesman part of Daniel's character almost completely. We only got a handful of scenes at LaRusso Auto in s4 and Daniel spent most of them out of his awful suits, helping Miguel fix his mom's car.

Growing up is rarely a straightforward, pre-determined path and people change a lot on the way. We know so little about Daniel's life between TKK3 and the pilot of Cobra Kai, so it's hard to say how he got to where he is, but I suspect he hasn't been living the Encino lifestyle for more than a few years, maybe a decade? And I have a feeling that even adult Daniel doesn't always recognize himself when he looks in the mirror. I think he does pretend and play a role, to some extent. (I mean, who doesn't?) He may have the big house in the Hills and I'm sure he enjoys the success he's had, but I think Daniel himself says that he'll always be an outsider in the circles he runs in as an adult.

Cobra Kai makes a point of avoiding the black and white "good vs bad" narrative that was popular in the 80s and no one on the show is truly good or truly bad. And I think existing "in the shades of grey" is one of the show's strengths. I see Cobra Kai era Daniel as someone who's kind of lost with himself. On the surface, his life is almost picture perfect, but inside, everything is increasingly off-balance. I have a feeling that it's been getting worse ever since Mr. Miyagi's death, and the return of Cobra Kai, Kreese and especially Terry Silver have made him feel truly lost. Even his marriage with Amanda seemed super solid in the early episodes, but it didn't take a lot to make it start to unravel.

I suspect the events of the three movies had a much bigger impact on Daniel than he ever realized. He probably tried to put it all behind himself until that Cobra Kai logo above Johnny's dojo brought it all back. I don't think he's ever really dealt with the emotional trauma of the vicious bullying he suffered first from Johnny and the Cobras, then Chozen and then Mike and his gang of goons - and worst of all, two adult men who, to be honest, shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children. And now he's finally dealing with it all at once in his 50s, poorly.

So Daniel's been making bad decisions over the course of the four seasons and "acting out-of-character" as Amanda has pointed out, and what's really tragic to me is how his attempts to love and honor Mr. Miyagi's legacy have kind of held him back as a teacher and even damaged his relationship with his own daughter. In season 4, a big part of Daniel's character arc was him going from someone who just parroted Mr. Miyagi's teachings to his own students (including Johnny) exactly how he remembered Mr. Miyagi doing it, almost like Miyagi's teachings were some kind of safe space for him, to finally remembering one of Mr. Miyagi's most important lessons: you have to choose your own way. So I don't know what season 5 will bring, but I do think we'll see a Daniel who's finally found some inner balance.

Haha, sorry this got kind of long! Daniel is my favorite character, so I have a lot of feelings about him. And he can definitely be stubborn and has a tendency to suffer from serious tunnel vision, and his flaws are often more pronounced when the narrative shifts to Johnny's corner (but we also have to remember that Johnny is an unreliable narrator, at least in the early seasons), but I personally don't see it as evidence that the creators of Cobra Kai hate him. I'm guessing you disagree with me about many of the things I brought up in this post, as do some other people in the fandom, many of whom are my friends, and that's okay, as long as we all stay polite and respect each other's views 🙂

#asks

[ash-rabbit]

Abitc Ch 11 Cuts: Part 2

This one actually takes place much earlier, in place of Elias asking after Rosie's shifting accent, looping back into the mention of the chapter 1 shovel.

565 words. Despite the lighter nature, and smaller chance of alienating part of the audience, this doesn’t add much to character or plot. Inaction is more liable to get Elias killed so there’s no point to it, and discussing potential research avenues won’t lead to anything. And it felt like another concession, especially after encountering a microagression everytime I left the house to do something other than walk my dog.

Also, just, maybe, if you did feel alienated by Rosie's spiel, it is perhaps, not a bad thing, to maybe gain a glimmer of understanding of what it's like to be a visible minority in western society. It is also me being mortally offended by Jude Perry joining the Desolation for such a shallow reason. I will not go into it here on how Jude Perry is written like a white woman. Additionally if anyone wants to make a comment about what I did with the fortune cookies and web I will happily address that as someone who is half Chinese.

He wants to ask, but it doesn’t feel like the right time. He skims a statement at random, something about an evil ghost woman with a glasgow smile in a dark alleyway. Likely fake and based on some foreign ghost story, the finagling of how to get out of the situation reads very urban legend.

“Do you recognize this by any chance?” he asks, sliding it across the table.

“Oh, I had a Japanese friend who told me this one. The slit-mouthed woman, if you say no she kills you, and if you say yes she gives you a matching smile. You have to throw candy at her, or tell her she’s average, some variations just say you have to politely excuse yourself” Rosie nods, attaching a sticky note to the page. “It’s a pretty common theme over there. There’s one about public toilets and not accepting the colourful toilet paper. Blue gets you strangled, and uh, the other, red, gets you bled out.”

“But what if your stall is out?” Elias asks, marking another statement down as the opening scene of ‘Hamlet’. Honestly, it’s like these people aren’t even trying. Surely they could come up with something original. “Could I ask for green?”

“That gets you dragged straight to the underworld for eternal punishment.” Rosie snorts. “The best you can do is run or just say no.”

“Really?” He sets the page down. “That could make for an interesting paper. A comparison of cultural values through the analysis of urban legends. Chronologically of course, to measure the societal shifts within each compared culture of course. Maybe a series of books- ah, that’s not important.” He shakes his head, clearing away the old research cobwebs.

“I don’t know, it could be important to someone.” Rosie says with a small grin teasing at the edges of her lips. “When’re you going to write these papers?”

“Me? Ha! The amount of work that would take would bury me. Most legends are only known orally in their native language, and the popular text version is almost never the correct one, usually a propaganda piece. The amount of work to find regional variants would be absurd, if anything it’d have to be a group effort.” He pauses, and leans back, looks at Rosie. “You know, there’s no reason you can’t write it. Anything you say would be better than what the ‘Mongolian Death Worm’ men put out.”

Rosie snorts. “That’s a low bar Elias, but it’s not a bad idea. Shame Research wouldn’t take me.”

“Research doesn’t deserve you.” He says absently, plucking through the pile in search of something worthwhile. Wait. He clears his throat. “Your talents are much better suited to Artefact Storage anyway.” Nailed it.

“Who’re you trying to fool?” she asks, smiling audibly.

“I have a reputation to uphold.” He sniffs.

“You mean the absolute hole you’ve dug yourself into?”

“Exactly so!” He grins broadly, before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. “It’s a very good pit, full of near impenatrable bedrock and enough silt to deter even the most determined door-to-door salesman.”

“I’m very good at gardening, and I’m sure there’s a shovel that we can use to help dig you up. Place like this, I bet the shovel will do most of the work for me.”

“We’ve actually got a shovel like that.” Elias says. “It’s very sturdy, can cut through stone and everything”

#abitc #abitc chapter cuts #chapter 11 cuts #my writing

[cospinol]

cecy....... tell me more 👀👀♡

^ girl who has done nothing wrong

SO cecy comes from a very decayed aristocratic family in a country where technological innovation is king; her family’s historical claim to fame is the invention of a walking fortress (literally, think huge building complex on a set of legs a couple dozen storeys high), which lots of people were interested in back in the day for its military applications. unfortunately that interest has all but died out because the fortress is built around a very ancient (like, pre-deities coming to earth) engine model, which works by consuming the life force of the person/people running it, ultimately to their death!

despite this cecy’s older brother is determined to bring their family back to its former glory by tweaking the engine design so that its mortality rate is at least within acceptable parameters to the military leaders who are its theoretical target buyers. unfortunately that can’t be done without some practical testing, which no one in their home country is willing to sign up for since that engine-model is a super known quantity (it’s the key component in lots of old designs for moving vehicles that have fallen out of popularity, though there also lots of people like cecy’s brother who are still determined to make the model work somehow, because no one has ever been successful in making any other type of automatic engine); fortunately for them it’s standard practice to just take your invention to some backwater country on the mainland and see how it fares in practice there, if your test subjects die then they die lol

cecy doesn’t have her brother’s delusions of grandeur but she does absolutely want to get rich so she can fund her relic-collecting hobby, so she has absolutely zero qualms about selling fortress prototypes and hanging around to collect data/observe the demise of her customers! she’s got real chops as a salesman anyways and people tend to innately trust her even when they absolutely shouldn’t, so she’s perfectly suited to the job <3

#nadir fairytale tag #oc tag #my absolutely terrible girl thank u for asking <33333 #nerice #asks

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Where are they Now?

I know it’s like a meme at this point that I have no freaking clue how to write comfort, but that doesn’t mean that everything is always bad for my bois. 

For each one, there’s substantially more years where they’re safe and happy rather than scared/in captivity/in danger. 

They each get happy endings, I just don’t know how to write them! So spoilers ahead, but not really cause they’re in the far future and I’m not sure I would never actually write them. So I guess it’s just content, lol. 

Spoilers under the cut for.... well everybody!

Nik (this includes some things that I will write, so more spoilery than the others)

Goes home. For real. He gets out, gets human caretakers (this part will be written) and goes home. He goes back to school because the schedule and familiarity is comforting. True to his word, he becomes a teacher and is a very, very good one. 

Later in life he’s known for his critical thinking and wisdom. He keeps in contact with his Human caretakers, staying a friend to their children’s children and down their line. 

Brody

Gets help. Gets out and finds Kayla and Aries to rebuild his family (plus a couple people he picks up along the way). He gets connected to an underground ring that helps former pets, gets his chip removed, earns his GED. 

Has a steady job, gets married, adopts a bunch of kids. Like 10. Some from the regular foster system, some rescued pets that are funneled to him. Full on 7 passenger van, little league and sleepovers family. 

Full on Dad. Like, top 5 worst Dad jokes and khakis. Loves his kids more than anything else in the world. Kayla and Aries live close by and pop in often. 

Silver

It takes time, but he evens out. Goes back to his colony and ends up going into their political/governmental system. He ends up managing/running a large section of the colony, and he does a damn good job. He’s on top of things, takes no shit, makes sure the people under him are treated fairly and respectfully. 

Takes control of his life and finds a professional to help him work through everything that he’s been through. Sees this person regularly for the rest of his life, the later years shifting more towards productivity, mindfulness and self-improvement vs recovery. 

Really popular, invited to every party because he’s a good boss and has countless stories to tell from his reckless youth. 

Hilton

Goes to school online, becomes a data analyst for DIFC. Genuinely enjoys his job and the life he built for himself. Griffin and him stay close, doing holidays together with their ragtag group of friends. 

Later in life, he works with other rare mutations that have harmful sides, mentoring them and helping them take control/feel comfortable with their powers. 

Still goes longboarding every weekend for the rest of his life.

Mark

Now, this one has 2 options but with the same end result, but varies cause the BBU isn’t mine and this would be in a timeline where it breaks apart: 

He blows to whistle on the whole operation. He gives the name of each and every person that knew he was a pet and knew what they were doing behind the scenes. Even from his prison cell, Douglas Archer as to admit that they might have gone a little overboard with the media training, as he’s totally untouchable. Plays into the media perfectly, projecting exactly what they want to see to make them listen to him and take action. 

Or 

Just, goes. Media wise, he just kinda says, “I’m done being famous. Fun while it lasted. Bye guys!” Gets out gets leverage that keeps him safe. They can’t come after him, and he gets some of the royalties to his music signed over to him. 

Either way: 

Takes back his old name, moves to Atlanta to become a music teacher and vocal coach. Grows out a scruffy beard and wears lot’s of beige sweaters. All his students know that the best way to get Mr. Braishfield on your side is to bring him coffee (he’ll already have one, but he’ll accept the second.) 

Sometimes does performances for fundraisers, but he only sings Blues again. He never does another cover of a pop song for as long as he lives. 

The shows still sell out when he has them, but he doesn’t care.

BONUS - the Whumpers get what’s coming to them. 

The Sorcerer - Death comes for us all. 

Sam - Insider trading, goes away for a couple years. No one will hire him when he gets back, and is forced to become a used car salesman. He goes bald and he’s very miserable. 

Corwin - The circus is investigated and he goes to jail for crimes unrelated to Sprite-abuse. 

Victoria/Tyler/Trevor/Conally - Victoria dies in a Syndicate raid, Tyler goes to prison for life, Trevor gets turned into a lab rat after the Syndicate decides he’s more useful that way, Conally is investigated and fired with all rank/honor/pension stripped. He drinks himself to uselessness. 

Douglas Archer - Mark might not call the ethics board on him, but that doesn’t mean that no on does. Goes to prison and goes bankrupt. 

Kasey - Gets the help she needs. Like really. She writes Mark a couple years later to apologize. He thanks her for and keeps in distant contact, but never sees her again. She understands. 

#is... is this comfort? #lol maybe #nik #brody #hilton #Mark davies #Silver #Silver the glowstick #Kayla and Aries #The sorcerer #Griffin #Sam #Corwin #Douglas Archer #Spoilers

[mytastessuck]

Ween: Chocolate And Cheese

1The other best album in Ween's discography.

This album showcases what Ween can really do when they kick it into overdrive. They go through a couple thousand genres in this album and all of them sound like they were done by experts in those fields. If Pure Guava showed the best of Ween's brown era, this shows how Ween will be approaching music from this point on and, even though I prefer two other albums to this one, they still don't come up to the level of this one. This is the album you use to trick convince people to listen to Ween or, if you made the mistake of giving a normie one of their browner works first, this is the ultimate Wait Wait Wait , Don't Go! album to make them give the band another chance. But enough on that, let's get into the fairly reviewed tracks!

1. Take Me Away

No, thank you Ween for giving us this awesome Rat Pack inspired track that sounds like something that you'd hear live in Vegas. Sinatra is dead but Gene is alive and slaying this shit! An awesome way to open an album.

1950/10

2. Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)

Definitely my favorite song about a child painfully dying from a terminal illness. Go to hell, Love You To Death. Creepy child gasping, monotone chorus and a sick guitar solo makes for a surprisingly banging track. Oh and that xylophone. Can't forget that xylophone...

1768/10

3. Freedom of 76

Probably the best thing that Philly has ever inspired and that's coming from somebody who lives here. Gene breaks out the falsetto to croon about how great the city was...in 76. Man, this place must have banging during the bicentennial. Just imagine Washington Square! So many red bandanas!

1976/10

4. I Can't Put My Finger On It

Nice oozy track about something that we can't put our finger on. What is the thing? Is it the sun? Poison ivy? That scab your mom told you to stop picking at? Who cares, the nasty guitar on this makes any topic worth it.

10/10

5. A Tear For Eddie

A great instrumental track to sob to. Ween may have dedicated this song to Eddie Hazel but I know which Eddie I'm going to crying about when this song comes on:

1950/10

6. Roses Are Free

A nice song for those who hate salesman and hate the voices in their head even more. A nice poppy tune that's fun to sing along to. Also a nice treat for Homestuck fans at the end. I'm not going to tell you what it is. Listen to it, nerd.

17/10

7. Baby Bitch

A nice soft song for a rough break-up. Sing it as often as you want to piss off the version of the partner in your head who hurt you. And shed a tear for Gene, who wasted a song on this girl.

11/10

8. Mister, Would You Please Help My Pony

Ween brings attention to another vital issue in today's worlds: ponies with injured lungs. If we don't speak up for them, who will? The ponies can't talk because they're ponies. This isn't Hasbro.

1981/10

9. Drifter In The Dark

A old song to sing around the campfire that Ween gave us. Seriously, sing this the next time you get invited to camp. Say the song has been passed down through your family for generations. As long as another hipster isn't there, you're momentarily interesting for the next few minutes. Bam. Popularity. Call me Nada Surf.

1725/10

10. Voodoo Lady

Noise Reggae is a genre that is so lonely. So lonely, people. Fix that. Anyway, sick bongos on this track and awesome guitar work on it. Also, this is the only song that I say sounds better live. Transformation Central!

1, 600, 000/10

11. Joppa Road

A nice song to sing with your SP to. Nice, folksy and soft enough to sleep on. No, you look beautiful enough tonight, Gene.

3900/10

12. Candi

Every time I hear this song, I think of an escort that showed our boys a good time. That most likely didn't happen but whatever. One of the last true "brown" songs and great for it.

1700/10

13. Buenas Tardes Amigo

When Ween goes Mexican, they go AAA. Love the accent and the telenova story that goes with this, as will as the scary-ass guitar in the middle. Glad that my brother who I have not talked to in years likes me enough to not kill me and pin the blame on a stranger with a vague similarity to me. That's family, guys.

1969/10

14. The HIV Song

Ah, sophomoric parodies of legitimate crisises. Spinal Meningitis didn't put up too much of a fight so they decided to go for a tougher opponent. Fun fact: the album cover was supposed to have a gay sailor theme but the execs nixed it. Either they thought this song would make the whole thing come off as offensive or...

D...Booty was too strong.

1981/10

15. What Deaner Was Talking About

Ah Deaner, a man of many topics. We couldn't understand all of them but...whatever. Anyway, a nice song for those that wish to look up in the sky and think of a great guitarist.

1970/10

16. Don't Shit Where You Eat

Good advice. Alright song. Nice way to close an album.

8/10

Album Score: 10,143.2/10

Next week is everyone's favorite Ween album, 12 Country Greats!

...

...Oh, whatever. I'm used to talking to myself.

#ween #chocolate and cheese #review #music

[ducktracy]

174. get rich quick porky (1937)

release date: august 28th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: bob clampett

starring: mel blanc (porky), cal howard (gabby), earle hodgins (honest john)

another cartoon that entails a lengthy preface! 

while this is bob clampett’s second piece as a director, it’s the first cartoon where he has full control of the helm. his previous entry, porky’s badtime story, was started by ub iwerks, who as preceded the unit. but, technically, clampett was co-directing with chuck jones.

here’s where the famous Clampett-Jones rivalry settles in. bob clampett and chuck jones did not get along. even friz freleng mentioned that they had been fighting like kids since they WERE kids, which is very true. clampett and jones would have both been 24 at the time of the cartoon’s release, jones turning 25 in september. chuck jones thought that he was co-directing the shorts with clampett, doing character layouts (which WAS a very hefty job and considered a director’s job) while clampett did the writing and timing of the shorts. however, the credits only credit clampett and not jones, so jones assumed that clampett had deliberately gotten rid of jones’ credit (to which clampett didn’t have any control over). jones would therefore hold this grudge against clampett all the way to the grave--they were bitter rivals, and chuck especially was very outspoken about his disdain and contempt towards clampett. it’s unfortunate how such a big misunderstanding can be inflated into such a bitter rivalry, and even more unfortunate to see two great talents go against each other, but that explains that. we’re here to analyze their great cartoons, not gossip about them! (...well, not ALL the time, anyway.)

a second extra little treat is that this cartoon has an animator’s draft, courtesy of devon baxter, so that we can see who animated every single scene! devon also has a breakdown video posted so you can see the credits in conjunction with the assigned animation. thanks a bunch, devon!

gabby goat sings his swan song in this fun, light-hearted clampett entry tentatively titled the oily bird gets porky: porky and gabby are easily swindled by honest john, a snake oil (emphasis on the oil portion!) salesman who scams the boys into thinking they’ve struck it rich digging for oil.

“when my dreamboat comes home” fittingly scores the title card as the cartoon opens. in some clever signage play, the camera trucks back to reveal the title card posted on a sign--the screen fades out, fading back in to reveal a new sign (now scored with the appropriate “with plenty of money and you”) advertising “oh! ~~~ just oodles of oil!”, with the oil typography actually dripping, courtesy of norm mccabe.

john carey provides the animation of the facetiously named honest john, the antagonistic oil huckster of the film. a fun bit of clampett continuity: from 1959-1962, clampett would make a cartoon adaptation of his hit puppet series time for beany. one of the characters, the show’s antagonist, was actually named dishonest john! honest john chuffs on a cigarette (his wealth and snootiness indicated by the cigarette holder he sports) as a truck driver asks where to deposit his “erl”. john, voiced by earle hodgins, redirects the trucker to park around the fence. it is then that john attaches a hose from the oil tank attached to the truck to a sprinkler system, and presto! sweet, bubbling “erl” spouts up from hidden sprinklers within a patch of land. carey’s animation is very smooth and dimensional, a telltale trait of his work.

satisfied, john now opts to search for his next pair of suckers (”ahem. i should say prospects. someone with a little money to invest in...”) lo and behold, his pair of suckers are right across the street, marching up to the bank. 

said suckers, are, of course, porky and gabby, now cast as children. for porky especially, his age was inconsistent in the ‘30′s and early ‘40′s cartoons--sometimes he was a child, sometimes he was an adult. more often than not, he was a young adult, and would obviously remain that way through the vast majority of his filmography, but there are a few exceptions, such as here. after all, he did debut as a school child. bobe cannon animates the closeup of the duo at the bank, porky toting a bag of money. gabby, voiced here by storyman cal howard as opposed to mel blanc, urges porky not to store away his money (”let’s buy us a car, or a yacht, or a trip to europe, or a chocolate soda or somethin’!), but porky refuses. “uh-uh, i’m eh-geh-geh-geh-gonna sock my eh-meh-mo-mo--dough in here and get eh-teh-teh-two percent!” bobe’s animation of porky is easy to spot in the clampett toons, especially around 1938-1939, where he would typically draw porky with buck teeth.

suddenly, honest john swoops in himself to stop the boys from going any further. he introduces himself as john gusher, doing some gushing of his own as he describes how fortune is going to smile down upon them. jerry hathcock’s timing is excellent as he shows the kid his card, zipping it out of his pocket and back in again at the blink of an eye. without giving the boys any time to think for themselves, john pushes the kids to the oil site, ranting and raving about the wondrous business opportunity before them. to demonstrate, john jabs his cane into the soil, where a mini oil gusher spurts up on command--”presto!”

more succinct comedic timing as john, finally winding down his spiel, concludes “i won’t take any more of your valuable time. a little parting word, let me say...” after a pause, he jumps right back in with a breathless delivery of “this land is so saturated with oil that you can literally wring it out with your fingers!” he does, of course, just that, much to the delight of the kids. 

john carey takes over and does a rather impressive little scene of porky and gabby contemplating signing the deed. gabby urges porky on, telling him that they won’t get another chance like this (prompting a rather humorous delivery of “uh... ‘til death do us part” from earle hodgins as john.) carey’s animation is extremely smooth, brimming with subtle character action. porky and gabby’s differences shine, but also unite: gabby is much more outspoken about his eagerness to sign the deed, nudging porky and literally pushing him to sign the deed. porky, on the other hand, is more cautious and timid, having to mull it over by thinking and tapping his chin with the pen. but, of course, porky shares gabby’s excitement--it doesn’t take much for him to change his mind. he signs the deed, gabby excitedly looming over his shoulder. even the animation of john tapping and signaling towards the deed is well crafted. john carey’s animation is very appealing--once chuck jones would leave the clampett unit, carey would take over as his layout man, all the way until 1941 when he moved to norm mccabe’s unit. 

the boys are now excused, free to dig for oil. the shift from minor to major key in the underscore of “with plenty of money and you” reflects their excitement as they rush to get the equipment. bobe cannon animates gabby drilling into the soil--he strikes something, and sure enough, he hauls up an entire canister of oil. he’s delighted, rather than outraged or confused at being scammed, gleefully remarking “porky, look! oil!”

thus sparks the B plot of the cartoon. this isn’t as segmented as other clampett cartoons with A and B plots as, say, porky’s party, but it’s a start--clampett would sort of introduce the concept of having A and B plots in his cartoons, which wasn’t quite something that existed before in pre-existing warner bros. cartoons (off the top of my head, anyway.) a stray dog stumbles upon the oil site, curiously approaching the dirt pile left by porky as he digs for sweet, sweet “erl”. much to the dog’s delight, porky digs up a bone, which the dog takes away and buries for himself. the scene (animated by bill hammer) definitely takes inspiration after the rising popularity in pluto cartoons over at disney, demonstrating that WB wasn’t entirely free from the disney stranglehold just yet.

 as the dog digs, the bone is suddenly propelled into the air by a mini-gusher. dog carefully covers the gusher by lowering the bone down, but gets smacked in the face in the process as the gusher propels upwards once more. bill hammer was an animator over at the iwerks unit, and a bit of that iwerks flavor is still present in the dizzy lines hammer animates after the dog gets struck in the head with the bone. resigned, the pooch covers the hole back up, only to get squirted in the eye by another gusher. and, to top it all off, we have more Naughty Clampett Humor as the gusher from before brushes against the dog’s nether regions, prompting him to giggle delightedly. this isn’t the first nor last gag of its kind in a warner bros cartoon--especially a clampett cartoon! frantically, the dog attempts to plug up all of the rapidly appearing gushers beneath him, a double-exposure technique used to convey the urgency of his plight. gushers prevail as the pup is launched into the air, propelled by a stream of oil beneath each paw. in all, the scene drags along and definitely plays into that “curious puppy” humor filled with polite chuckles, but some of hammer’s poses and facial expressions make for a treat.

back to the boys in the next sequence, handled by bobe cannon. gabby, perched on a jackhammer, asks porky how to operate it, but he immediately begins drilling uncontrollably before he can finish his sentence. cal howard’s vocals as gabby are amusing, especially his ad-libbed cries for help--his gabby is less scratchy and high pitched than mel’s gabby, and instead deeper voiced and more goat-like in inflection, sounding like he’s bleating at certain points. porky rushes to speak into the hole that gabby dug himself into, anxiously asking “uh-guh-eh-guh-eh-gabby! uh-weh-eh-where are ya?” gabby answers his query by digging out of an adjacent hole, breaking cartoon physics by drilling and floating upside down in the air. he manages to land safely, the drill stopping just enough for him to chew porky out for not helping him. and, of course, the drill starts up again, sending gabby within the earth’s soil once more. porky asks if he’s alright, prompting a bleat-y “what do you think!?” from an offscreen gabby. it should be noted that the underscore here is, of course, “the merry go round broke down”, a rather fitting and amusing choice. interestingly enough, clampett’s next entry, roval’s rival, would be the first cartoon to debut that song as the looney tunes theme song, which would be used all the way up until the last short in 1969.

chuck jones hones in on one of his three specialties: dogs (the others being drunks and close-ups--sometimes all three at once!) he animates the malcontent pooch fiddling with his bone. a bump in the ground, and a gopher pops up, doing a little twirl in the process, bugs bunny style, like a magic trick. clampett always fostered a love of magic tricks, and this fascination pokes through in this scene. the gopher signals for the dog’s attention before ducking inside the hole, much to the dog’s delight--a hole to bury his bone into! as he tosses the bone inside, he’s treated with a rude awakening as the bone is hurled right back up out of the hole. jones’ timing varies wonderfully--the dog is slow to put his bone back in the hole, but once he does he jumps to cover it up quickly, resulting in some intriguing psuedo-smears. after all, it would be his own cartoon, the dover boys at pimento university, that really brought the magic of smears to life. the animation of the dog twitching his eye on one’s is another great touch.

the gopher returns to bonk the dog on the head with the bone, which segues into a series of magic tricks (scored fittingly with “she was an acrobat’s daughter”.) the gopher shrinks the bone into his hand, reducing it to nothingness, much to the befuddlement of the pooch. tried and true, the gopher brings the bone out from behind the dog’s ear, pointing at it excitedly as the pup can only stare in bewilderment. gopher buries the bone, signaling for the dog to dig it back up. delighted, fido digs for his beloved bone, and is greeted with a spurt of oil right in the face. to top it off, the gopher brings the bone out from the recesses of the dog’s mouth, ending the show by retreating back in his hole. heartbroken, the pup begins to cry mournfully, pounding his fists against the ground and kicking his legs. in all, the scene is a very nice one. not very snappy, but chuck’s timing is full of momentum and personality, and his drawings are very appearing. there are some angles of the dog’s head that just SCREAM chuck jones--they look like something straight out of one of his cartoons. some aspects of these magic tricks, such as the gopher shrinking the bone to nothingness, would be used in chuck’s own cartoon, prest-o change-o, a mere two years later in 1939. the gopher itself IS very bugs bunny-esque in execution.

transition back to our piggy protagonist, hacking away at the ground with a pick-axe. he hits a sweet spot, excitedly reaching for his bucket as oil spurts out of the ground. just as he’s able to collect a few drops, we cut to our favorite huckster john, who snickers as he turns the hose valve off, thus eliminating the geyser. porky digs again, this time striking one of the sprinkler systems connected to the hose. we get a closeup, where porky is squirted straight in the eye by the hose.

honest john himself opts to scope things out. “what’s the matter, sonny boy? you aren’t discouraged, are you?” porky displays his childlike innocence (a property that would carry on to his adult years as well, but is especially strong here since he is a kid in this picture) as he wipes away his tears. “you’re je-je-je-just a crook, and i want my muh-me-muh-me-muh-me-money back!” john, ever the haggler, proposes that porky return the deed in return for a $1 bill. 

norm mccabe takes over from john hathcock, whose animation is muddied by noticeably poor inking. pan to the ground, where we see a black slick hiding under the soil, the words “OIL!” bubbling up to make its appearance obvious, with gabby drilling dangerously close to it. pan back up to more norm mccabe animation, a switch--clampett LOVED to switch his animators around. so much so that identifying his later cartoons can be infuriatingly difficult because he would switch his animators in the middle of a scene out of seemingly nowhere. he wasn’t the only director to do this, but he certainly did it often. nevertheless, we pan back to porky and john. porky trepidatiously prepares to hand john the deed, who greets it with outstretched hands. just as gloves prepare to make contact with paper, gabby strikes the “SAME OIL!”, the typography playfully melting into a true oil geyser as goat, weasel, and pig are all catapulted into the air by a real, genuine gusher, scored by (what else?) “we’re in the money”. the layout of the oil geyser raining down upon the camera is at a nice up-angle, very tashlin-esque and intricate, if only for a second or two.

gabby still drills aimlessly around on the geyser as porky, holding onto the deed with john, remarks “a guh-gusher! i’m r-ri--i’m w-we-weal--i’m a buh-be-buh-be-buh-billionaire!” suddenly, porky realizes he’s still holding onto the deed with john, and thus sparking a tug of war between the two as he stutters threats (”i’ll tell my be-be-big brother on you!”) to the huckster. 

thankfully, gabby, who has been drilling aimlessly for the past few minutes, saves the day by accidentally drilling into the back of john’s pants. earle hodgins’ screams are hilarious (and sound almost genuine), as is bill hammer’s animation of the weasel being held hostage by the drill running around in the back of his pants. the deed is now in porky’s clutches, who grabs gabby and pulls the both of them to the ground. hammer’s drawings of porky especially in this last shot of them preparing to fall down are very, VERY appealing and cute.

both kids on the ground, porky holds up the white, elongated object in his hand, gleefully declaring he got the deed... or so he thinks. jerry hathcock does porky’s closeup as he realizes the precious deed he holds in his hand is, in fact, a bone.

dejected, the kids are left to mope, until a little bump in the ground comes to solve all of their problems. chuck jones animates the final scene of the Magic Gopher coming in to save the day: porky hands him the bone, and, much to his head-shaking surprise, is met with the deed right in the gopher’s hands after just a flick of the wrists. porky reaches out for the deed, prompting the gopher to shake his finger--always a catch. 

“partners? 50-50, even steven?” porky nods. with the deal made, the gopher helpfully rips the deed in half, giving porky the bottom half. iris out on the gopher winking, holding up the top half of the deed (emblazoned as such) in victory.

while this isn’t the most rousing clampett entry of them all, it’s certainly one that i revisit quite often and am rather fond of. it has plenty of fun and intriguing animation--john carey’s scene of the boys signing the deed is just fantastic. his animation is very grounded and smooth. while the psuedo-pluto scenes aren’t the most exciting pieces of work around, the chuck jones sequence with the gopher and dog are especially impressive, highlighting just how strong jones’ draftmanship was. clampett’s cartoons became much more wild and loose after jones left the unit (just look at porky in wackyland), and chuck certainly seemed to ground clampett, but at the same time, the lack of jones’ draftsmanship was rather apparent upon his exit. he’s a very strong force, and that sequence with the dog is no exception. earle hodgins does a great job as honest john, as well as voicing salesmen in general--he was also the salesman in tex avery’s porky the rainmaker a year earlier. i love mel blanc to death and have nothing but praises to shower him in, but it is always fun to have other people like earle hodgins to come up and voice characters alongside him. cal howard does a fine job as gabby, too.

speaking of gabby, as i mentioned earlier, this is his final cartoon. i have this odd fascination with gabby. these clampett cartoons i’m going to be reviewing are some of the first LT cartoons i watched as an adult, and therefore have a fonder place in my heart than others. so, watching the iwerks cartoons that clampett was heavily involved in, gabby was introduced to me VERY early on and i’ve been fascinated with him since. out of his three entries, he became more and more watered down: his fury and anger is practically nonexistent here in comparison to how bitter he was in porky and gabby. while i find him interesting, i don’t shed too many tears over his absence--daffy will always be porky’s best sidekick, and i’m not saying that because i’m biased! nevertheless, gabby is an interesting enigma, serving as WB’s failed attempt at a donald duck for porky’s mickey (who is much richer in personality than mickey himself, as we’ll explore, much to my unbridled excitement!) gabby WAS slated to return in porky’s party, alongside petunia, but was instead scrapped for a penguin character instead. thus, gabby would take a near 80 year absence, being revived in 2018 in wabbit/new looney tunes, voiced by bob bergen. 

so, overall, i recommend this cartoon! i view it more fondly than it probably needs to be viewed, but it’s a fun, early entry that makes for a good, leisurely watch. 

link!

#lt #looney tunes #get rich quick porky #clampett #reviews #long post #i'm gonna try putting a readmore so i don't clutter up dashes.. but please read it! i don't want that to make these get less exposure #i don't do these for clout of course i do it for educational purposes because i want to share my passion and love for these cartoons with #you guys so you know what's going on and why i love these cartoons so much #but i don't spend 5 hours on one cartoon for 0 notes yaknow? so if the reviews with readmores get significantly less traction/overlooked #then i'll stop 'em. but we'll see...!

[introvertguide]

The Best Years for American Cinema

One of the great arguments that comes up for cinephiles is what was the best year for movies. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with awards since some of the best movies were not recognized at the time, but looking at the Academy Awards helps as a start. As far as American movies go, looking at the two AFI lists, the original and the updated, can also help. Looking at rating systems like Metacritic and IMDB are also a factor. One of the hardest things is staying objective, because picking the year when your favorite movie came out is pretty easy to do. Her is a list of years when an extraordinary amount of great movies came out and attempting to judge the best film for that year was simply an embarrassment of riches. I am going to stick to a list of years for American films since considering the world of film would make any year possibly the best year.

1939

This is generally considered by film historians as the best year for American movies. It exemplified the height of creativity amongst film studios to circumvent the Hays Code while also integrating the relatively new color and dialogue aspects of film. Transforming books into visual media was all the rage and writers were scouring books to find the next great adaptation. There were a myriad of self imposed decency rules and so many directors wanted to push boundaries...and what resulted was amazing. It was nearing the end of the Great Depression and nearing the entry of the U.S. into WW2, so a lot of people were looking for cheap ways of escape. Nothing was quite as wonderful as going to the movies for American audiences and the population flocked to see visualizations of their favorite novels.

-Gone with the Wind; AFI #6, 8 Oscars

-Goodbye, Mr. Chips

-Mr. Smith Goes to Washington; AFI #26

-The Wizard of Oz; AFI #10

-Wuthering Heights

-Of Mice and Men

-Stagecoach; AFI #63 original list, John Wayne’s breakthrough role

-The Hound of the Baskervilles

-The Man in the Iron Mask

1951

After the end of WW2, a lot of countries had begun rebuilding and American had the opportunity to travel. Many returned from the horrors of war, but America did not have to deal with fighting on the continental home land. What seemed to be the greatest perceived threat was the infiltration and spread of communism. The biggest movies were anti-Communism, pro-Christian, and pro-American in nature. In fact, Death of a Salesman did very poorly when first released since it depicted an All-American in a wonderful profession being a total failure. However, it seems like creativity seems to thrive most when those in power attempt to oppress it. 

-A Streetcar Named Desire; AFI #47

-The African Queen; AFI #65

-An American in Paris; AFI #68 on original list

-A Place in the Sun; AFI #92 on original list

-Death of a Salesman

-Quo Vadis

1962

Over a decade since the end of WW2 and the Cold War had turned in a competition for patriotism. A race to be the best pushed invention forward and individuals overcoming overwhelming odds was popular. America worried about spies after severing ties with Cuba in 1961, and a very young President Kennedy delivered the first State of the Union urging the country to stand together. The Civil Rights Movement forces the United States to look inward and examine old ideals that might make the country weak. It was a year of innovation, invention, and introspection, all of which are represented in the wide variety of films produced that year.

-Lawrence of Arabia; AFI #7, 7 Academy Awards

-To Kill a Mockingbird; AFI #25

-The Miracle Worker

-Dr. No; First James Bond movie

-Mutiny on the Bounty

-The Manchurian Candidate; AFI #67 original list

-The Longest Day

1969

The Motion Picture Association created the rating system currently in use that informs the audience about content instead of banning films that did not maintain a certain moral standard. It was the summer of love and the height of freedom movement, so all boundaries were tested and broken. Attacking the American architype was very popular so many of the biggest films had something to do with cowboys. Cowboy pimps in New York, murderous cowboy groups, and cowboy outlaws ruled the movie screens. Testing the boundaries of the MPAA delivered some interesting results: 2 of the top grossing films that year were rated X and that included the film that won the Oscar for Best Picture, Midnight Cowboy, for the one and only time in the history of the award. 

-Midnight Cowboy; AFI #43, only X-rated film to win Best Picture

-The Wild Bunch; AFI #79, X-rated with over 100 on screen deaths

-Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; AFI #73

-Easy Rider; AFI #84

-Whatever Happened to Baby Jane

-Birdman of Alcatraz

-Hello, Dolly!

-True Grit, John Wayne’s only Oscar win for Best Actor

1976

The Watergate scandal rocked the political climate causing an outcry for the oppressed to take their shot since those in power might not have the people’s best interest in mind. Individual’s taking the fight into their own hands and overcoming adversity for good (Rocky and All the President’s Men) or for bad (Taxi Driver) become the heroes of film in 1976. A new innovation was the blockbuster following the release of Jaws the previous summer, allowing producers to get big names in movies in exchange for a percentage of the profits. Movies become a gamble for many actors and directors, much epitomized since Star Wars began filming with George Lucas refusing his director payment in exchange for all rights to future sequels and merchandising, a gamble that netted him $4 billion in the long run. 

-Rocky; AFI #57

-All the President’s Men; AFI #77

-Network; AFI #64

-Taxi Driver; AFI #52

-King Kong

-A Star is Born

1982

The 80s were all about making money in the United States, and, with the sudden growth of computer technology, this was reflected on the big screen with some of the highest production value special effects movies of all time. The THX sound system is created so the immersive experience of the theatre is at an all time high. At the same time, President Reagan was trying to break up the communist threat and popularized those people who had suffered through war and oppression. Many critics at the time stopped worshipping at the church of the Academy Awards because Ghandi beat out E.T. the Extra Terrestrial as Ghandi was an epic historical drama and E.T. was a family film. Blend in Sophie’s Choice, one of the most memorable yet horribly depressing movies of all time, into the competition and you see that the Academy favors a certain type of movie (long dramas based on history or novels) and it becomes apparent that it isn’t the end all for judging the quality of a film.

-Ghandi; 4 Oscars  

-E.T the Extra Terrestrial; AFI #24

-Poltergeist

-Tootsie; AFI #69

-An Officer and a Gentleman

-Victor Victoria

-Sophie’s Choice; AFI #91

-Blade Runner; ; AFI #97

-Tron

-The Thing

1994

I am not certain exactly what triggered the sudden burst of creativity that came out this particular, but it was a watershed moment for animation musicals, independent films, glorified violence, and adapting books that depict intense suffering and redemption. More than anything, I find that when I list off movies from this year, there is a lot of surprise about how many great movies came out at the same time. I also have a little bit of personal bias for this year because it was the first time I saw all the Oscar nominees and cheered for my favorites during the awards. 

-Forrest Gump; AFI #76

-Pulp Fiction; AFI #94

-The Lion King

-Quiz Show

-The Shawshank Redemption; AFI #72

-Four Weddings and a Funeral

-True Lies

-Interview with the Vampire

-Natural Born Killers

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This is simply a list of good year for movies, but it is fun to disagree about the best. If I missed any great years, feel free to comment. What is the best year for American film, or film in general, in your opinion?

#best years for movies #movies #films #best films #Hollywood #1994 films #1982 films #1975 films #1969 films #1962 films #1951 films #1939 films #movie history #american film institute #introvert #introverts #movie trivia