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#how do people not care who they hurt how do they not feel bad about it
fourmoony · 3 days
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𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝟐
f!reader x PT!Jamie (modern au) 1.5k words
summary: reader has a bad gym experience and jamie gets protective
cw: working out, mention of potential injury, mentions of sexual harrassment (ass grabbing)
sidenote, that I've seen a lot of this behaviour in the gym before and it makes me sick. writing about it and imagining how jamie would handle it makes me less sick. imagining big strong pt!james making the world better, one set of keys at a time. please, always be aware of your surroundings if you are working out at the gym, especially alone <3
James pulls you out from under the bar of the smith machine by the hips seconds before it clatters to the ground with a sickening thud and clang of metal. You stumble under his harsh hands, land on the ground at his feet and let out a pained whoosh of breath. Luckily, the gym is empty save for the two of you, sparing you the embarrassment of having people watch the commotion.
He's on you in an instant, gentle hands that cradle your neck as he crouches in front of you and pushes your head from side to side with a little pressure from his thumbs. All you can do is blink, try to process what, exactly, just happened. "You're not sore here?" James asks you, brows furrowed and almost touching in the middle, his fingers pressing into the base of your neck.
Your first thought is that James doesn't suit frowning. A silly thought, considering you almost decapitated yourself with a one hundred kilogram squat rack. "No. Just my ass from crash landing." You don't fail to notice the way your voice sounds distant, detached.
James' hands are warm on your neck, a burning touch that you want to lean into. You don't, and it's gone as James collapses down across from you, his elbows resting against his knees. His face turns stern, "What's going on?"
You feel like you're being scolded, and maybe you should be. It's a well known fact that form is everything, that being distracted in the gym can lead to serious injuries. You'd known you wouldn't be able to focus today, you'd known you should've stopped that set and corrected yourself when you could feel the weight more in your back than your legs. But, you hadn't. You're distracted, you're angry. You'd walked into the gym full of frustration and it'd almost ended terribly.
Tears fight their way to your eyes and they burn. You feel a lump forming in your throat that forces you to look away from James. Kind, patient James, who allows you the moment to collect yourself as you pull your legs to your chest. "Shitty week." It comes out mumbled, your voice defeated.
James nods understandingly. "A shitty week doesn't make you lose focus like that, though. There's something more to it."
It's not like James to push. He's friendly and he's kind, he can be a menace when he wants to be, and sometimes you even think he's flirting with you - but he never pushes. You want to open up, you want to step out of that weird area of professionalism you can never seem to get past with him. But unloading your shitty week on him doesn't feel like the way to do that. So you shrug, pulling your knees to your chest until your chin rests atop them, "I'm just stressed. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I knew my form was wrong but I was too distracted to stop and fix it."
"I don't care that your form was wrong," James shakes his head as though offended you'd think such a thing, "I mean," He pauses, searching for the words, "Obviously, I care that it was wrong because you almost got hurt. But what I mean is that you should've told me you were stressed, that you were feeling a bit distracted."
You find yourself nodding, eyes downcast at your crossed ankles.
"I was waiting for you to correct the form yourself. If I knew you were distracted, I'd have told you to stop. I'm sorry, too." James' voice has turned soft, less stern. He nudges his foot until it's in your line of vision, tapping it against yours until you're looking up.
He's waiting with a smile, his eyes gentle and patient. It feels odd. New, foreign. You can't really describe the feeling. "A guy grabbed my ass in the gym, yesterday." You breathe out, unsure really of what it is that's made you tell him.
It could be that you trust him. It's hard not to build trust with someone in James' position, it's literally his job to stop things like one hundred kilogram bar bells falling on top of you. Or, it could be that not telling anyone, reliving how powerless you'd felt, going over everything you could've done differently, it's eating you alive. Sharing this with James, who sees every day what gyms are like, how people in some gyms behave, you have a feeling that he'll get it. That he'll help you process.
But, he doesn't say anything. Just stares with a look that you can't read. The muscles in his arms shift, his hands clenching around each other tightly, and his jaw clenches. You think he might not say anything, though, you know James is better than that. The silence stretches until the tears in your eyes abate, then James finally croaks, "He what?"
Your veins crackle with the anger in his voice, the darkness that clouds his eyes. You'd never have imagined James in such a light if he wasn't sitting right in front of you, the very picture of livid. You shrug, as though feigning nonchalance might abate the white hot anger you know very well the feeling of. "I was doing those stupid kick back thingies you're always on about. Just messing about as a cool down, trying to correct my own form. He came over and started giving me advice, which I thought was just him being nice."
James shakes his head, remorse like a white sheet of dread across his beautiful face. You swallow, picking at a hangnail on your thumb, "He kind of just," You shift your hands as though grabbing your own hips, "Grabbed me like that and my throat went dry. When he was leaving he grabbed my ass and said 'you're welcome'."
"You didn't report him to the gym staff?"
You shake your head, lip trapped between your teeth. "I wasn't even planning on telling you until I nearly killed myself with the smith machine."
James sighs, one of his hands coming up to rub at his face. He looks nauseous, almost. "I'll get you a set of keys for this gym. You can work out here, from now on. No one will bother you."
It's a nice offer. It makes your heart swell and your cheeks heat. James has always gone above and beyond. He fits you into his schedule despite your crazy work hours and never charges you for the session if you have to cancel day of. But the reason you don't have a membership at his gym is because it's not in your price range. So you smile, kind, if a little tight lipped, "James, you know I can't."
"I'm not saying get a membership. I'm saying I'll get you a set of keys. You can come and go as you please, even after work, whatever time you want." His voice is thick, his eyes earnest and almost pleading.
"I can't ask you to do that."
James scoots closer, fingers flexing as though he might reach out for you, but is stopping himself. He chases your gaze, waits until he has it, until your lips part under the weight of it and your heart hammers against your chest, to speak. "You're not asking. I'm offering. I can't believe that happened to you and it makes me so angry. I'm not going to sit by and do nothing about it."
You sigh, unwilling to argue when James sounds so passionate, so sure of himself. A smile makes its way to your lips, timid, unsure, "Thanks, Jamie."
He nods. "Any time."
"Are you sure the owner won't mind?" You ask.
James grins, some of the mischievous twinkle returning to his eyes, "He's my best mate, it'll be fine."
He offers you a hand as he stands, the storm clouds passing and the weight already lifting from your chest. It feels brighter, in the gym. You take James' hand, let him pull you up. He does his signature move of tugging you until you're stumbling towards him, his laugh echoing off of the concrete walls when you curse him out for it.
"Start from the beginning?" James asks, moving to return the smith machine to where you need it to be.
You take a breath, watch the way his shoulder muscles strain against his top as he bends and lifts. It brings a smile to your lips, the feeling of familiarity you hadn't felt upon entering the gym earlier. "I believe I was at five reps when I dropped the bar."
James tsks, "Dropping it doesn't count as a rep. Call it four."
"Cruel."
James only winks, offers you his award winning smile as you settle yourself under the bar. This time, with the correct form. He nods, and you twist to unlock, eyes on his in the mirror.
"That's one." He grins, crossing his arms over his chest.
You consider dropping the bar on his head, next.
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trans-axolotl · 2 days
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content note: discussion of suicide.
this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.
when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.
there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.
as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.
i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.
i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.
there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.
i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.
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Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]
(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)
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followerofmercy · 2 days
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I think Freminet has some of the most interesting dissonance in his self perception of any Genshin character.
Like, of the Hearthlings we know, he's one of the most emotionally mature and intelligent. Lynette might still have him beat, but after playing her hangout... I dunno. I think they're tied. Lyney is Crumbling, Alrecchino is. Well. Arlecchino. Everyone else is a deeply traumatized child or adult and Freminet seems to pretty regularly be people's emotional support. His character stories talk about getting his vision by saving a bunch of other kids on a dive that went bad. The Selkie event literally had him being a therapist for a grownass woman, citing his past experiences with all the other Hearthlings that have died or killed themselves. And he handled that situation WELL. Yeah, he seems to live in a fantasy, but goddamn he's alive and a lot of people in his position aren't so clearly something is working.
Either his or Lyney's character story talks about the time Freminet had reached out to Lyney to try to ease his burdens, which resulted in Lyney blowing up at him. That probably contributed to Freminet thinking he's not good at it, but I think the reason Lyney reacted so badly was BECAUSE Freminet is actually a good support. He can't allow himself that from the little brother he's supposed to protect.
Freminet seems to both cry and dissociate often, but like... Kiddo you are in fact the only person in this family actually processing your emotions. Lynette dissociates 24/7. Arlecchino. Lyney lies and tells everyone he's fine and would literally rather die than admit otherwise. In comparison, Freminet is doing FANTASTIC
Freminet also gets a lot out of helping people! Like anyone, he needs to feel useful and needed. He seems to be an excellent mentor to the younger Hearthlings and perfectly competent on his own, but when you put him in a room with Lyney and Lynette who baby him and insist that THEY take care of HIM, he withdraws into himself.
Like, Freminet by himself feels like a young man and Freminet with the magician twins feels like a teenager. I have no idea how old he actually is. Logically, he would be OLDER than them! He's been with the House much, much longer and his experience shows. I think it's fascinating that they love him SO MUCH and yet, they just Cannot let him help them. Which is hurting him.
(Lynette is much better about not babying him and that is probably why their relationship is so much better than Freminet and Lyney's. Also why she keeps having to mediate between them. Because Lyney charges off trying to Fix Everything and that just makes Freminet feel useless and he doesn't want to get in the way and- you get the point)
Idk. It's hard to tell what things the previous director said to him vs what Arlecchino has said to him. I'm inclined to think our Arlecchino was the one that said he cries too much, but in a "crying in front of your enemies will get you killed" way and she herself is too fucked up to realize how "you cry too much" could be damaging.
Also I try not to consider gameplay stuff when it comes to story, but Freminet also has some of the most BRUTAL animations. He SMASHES HIS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT METAL PENGUIN INTO HIS ENEMY'S FACE. He doesn't think he's the most amazing fighter, and by Fatui standards he probably isn't, but he is winning fights against most grown men.
Tldr Freminet thinks he cries too much and is a burden and isn't good at helping people when he's actually the most mentally stable Hearthling send tweet
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monsterblogging · 2 days
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So, it finally clicked that while the average person does in fact broadly comprehend that people are neither good nor evil - they're good and bad, and have free will - they also can't understand why some people would fully commit themselves to completely awful causes or to being a terrible person throughout their entire lives. They can't really picture how this works, because they can't imagine themselves choosing to die on a hill of Being A Terrible Person.
This void in their comprehension is where the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is very likely to come and settle in sooner or later, because it seems to finally provide an answer that makes sense of otherwise senseless cruelty and violence. Agonizing questions like "Why would my boyfriend spend so much energy on making me feel like shit and breaking me down?" "Why would this historical figure decided to kill all of these people?" and "Why would this guy go start a cult and murder everyone?" are finally given an answer, and the formerly-bewildered person finally has some peace of mind.
Because of this, the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is incredibly hard to get out of people's minds once it takes root. For one thing, bad ideas are like bad habits; it doesn't really work to tell people to Just Stop With Them, because without something else to take its place? They're going to fall back on it.
And if somebody's been traumatized from abuse? The last thing they want to hear is that they're basically dehumanizing their abuser and that's not cool, because it feels to them like the other person is taking their abuser's side and telling them to get fucked. Even if this not what's happening, the survivor's brain is currently operating on fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, and a brain operating fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode is keyed to making snap decisions to try and remove you from the danger as soon as possible, which means categorizing everything into black and white. This person couldn't care less about the history of eugenics right now; literally all they care about is being safe.
"Okay, so if the Ontologically Evil Person doesn't exist, how the hell do you explain those fuckers over there?" some of you are probably asking.
Here's the deal. Literally every human being alive can and will do terrible things if they're sufficiently scared and desperate. They're in no position to appreciate that nearly all asshole behavior can be explained by a lack of critical social and self-management skills, or by a lack of access to self-improvement (including being too traumatized to trust means of self-improvement).
People who are scared, insecure, and under high levels of stress will often cling to anything that makes them feel better, because they want to feel safe and secure and not in psychological and/or physical agony. (Stress does an absolute number on your body, too.)
Being reliant on a shitty behavior, belief system, or product for some measure of feeling secure and safe is how you get people saying things like "If I didn't act mean, everyone would just walk all over me!" or "I was really depressed before I found this, so if I gave it up I'm going to get depressed again, and I might hurt myself." (And there might be some truth to this one! This might indeed happen if they give it up cold turkey, and without finding an alternative!) It's how you get people conducting """scientific""" studies to """prove""" that their bigotry is totally justified and not at all irrational. ("Well of course these people are genetically inferior, they wouldn't be poor and disease-ridden if they weren't... what do you mean, systemic inequality and uneven healthcare access? No that's obviously fake and made up by More Bad People.")
People also act in unhealthy ways to deal with personal insecurities implanted by parents or society. You have people out there whose parents drummed it into their heads that second place was for worthless losers, or that no one would love them if they didn't look or act a certain way. You have people who absorbed the idea that acknowledging the basic humanity of shitty people means that they have to forgive them and personally help them get better and just suffer through the abuse in the meantime.
This is how people choose to die on the hill of Being A Terrible Person. They weren't ontologically evil. They were scared, and they thought they saw a fortress on the top of that hill that would keep them (and perhaps also their loved ones) safe.
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Okay I got more angst prompts, not from the list this time. Consider:
After the final battle, after the hotel is rebuilt, when Lucifer finally gets the chance to go home and rest, it all hits him at once. Adam is actually dead. He didn't feel bad about it in the moment at all but now it's hitting him that Adam is dead and gone and oh no I killed one of the first people I ever loved. (Niffty wouldn't have been able to kill him if not for Lucifer, so he would have enough reason to blame himself) He's struck by grief, that love having never truly left. Charlie finds him, and comforts him.
Mayhaps her reaction finding out that her father loved Adam, their enemy? Mayhaps Luci's reaction when Adam respawns as a sinner? Up to you!
Indigo (struck with the desire to hurt my favourite characters emotionally)
*Sips coffee* Ahhh, after battle angst. Thank you for this! Please send more if you'd like :)
Lucifer hadn't had time to really let it sink in now, in his new room alone. He sat down on his bed, his chest weighed like a ton of bricks.
Adam was dead. He was dead dead as in no coming back. He still remembers the angelic blade going through the angels chest. All that blood.....
Lucifer felt his eyes pool with water. His first love was dead and he let him die. His heart clenched in his chest. Fuck. He thought he was over Adam, but guess not.
At the moment he didn't care. He was still angry that Adam would try and hurt Charlie. But he was going to let him live, Adam may have been an asshole but he was HIS asshole.
Then Charlie's little friend killed him.....
"Fucking hell." He swore as he scrubed the tears from his face. Closing his eyes, Lucifer could still see Adams face. Not the one from the battle field. The one in the garden.
Even then his eyes were bright and golden in color like honey. Soft brown hair ruffled and wild on his head, smile wide and breathtaking. Oh, how Lucifer wished he could go back to those days.
'Will we be friends forever, Luci?'
'Every day is amazing when I'm with you.'
'Luci, I think I lov-'
"FUCK!" Lucifer screamed, he gripped his hair painfully. "I'M SORRY! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE I'M SORRY!!" He sobbed. He was just destined to never save his favorite human was he? Adam was all he ever wanted and now he was gone for good.
"Dad, are you busy there's some- Dad? Are you okay?" Charlie came in and sat down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"No." Was all he said, the guilt was weighing on him.
Charlie frowned. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I loved him so much."
Charlie blinked and looked at her dad. "Who?"
Lucifer sniffed. "Adam." Not the answer Charlie thought she'd hear. "He was my first love Charlie, I was there when he was made from the dust of the earth. I showed him how to do many things. That man on the battlefield, the one filled with hate for demons. That was my fault. When your mother came into the picture I was blinded by her beauty that I didn't see who she really was." This was not a conversation to have right now. "I broke Adams heart when I chose her. I ruined something beautiful for something extra."
"But, he was the enemy. How could you love him?" She just didn't understand.
Lucifer smiled sadly. "You didn't know him like I did. The beautiful soul I knew he always was." And he was, Adam had a soul that shined so bright it was blinding. He just had up so many walls after Eden.
"What if he's not as dead as we thought?"
"Huh?" Lucifer looked at his daughter. "What do you mean?"
Charlie bit her lip. "That's why I came up here. Adam is here. Downstairs. As a sinner."
Lucifer never ran so fast in his life. Faster than Charlie could keep up, her cries in the distance. He flew down the stairs and stopped in his tracks when he got to the lobby.
There he was. In all his glory. Adam stood with his back to Lucifer, he had long black and gold horns that curved around to the back of his head like his exterminator mask horns. He was looking at his newly formed demon hands, black up to his elbow with claws sharp like knives. His robes were now black and red, slightly tattered and still dirty. He had hooves now and likely a mouth full of sharp teeth.
He was beautiful.
He was alive.
"Adam?"
Adam jumped at the sound of his name and turned to face the devil. "Lucifer." His voice sounded rough but the same. His golden eyes were firey with anger, Lucifer could just imagine how he felt about being a sinner.
"You're here?"
"I know, the fucking shocked too."
Even if he hated him, Lucifer could deal with that as long as Adam was alive and well. "Gonna give redemption a shot?"
"Might as well." Adam crossed his arms, an unimpressed look on his face.
"Swell! Let me give you the tour and get you settled into a room." Lucifer took Adam by the hand and led the way, all while the sinner followed him, grumpy and cursing under his breath. "You know, if you ever need protection down here. I'd be willing to provide it."
Adam scoffed. "Yeah, for my soul."
Lucifer looked back at him. "Would that really be so bad? To be completely safe, always?" His voice echoed around them. "I would never let anything happen to you, Adam."
He didn't miss the way Adam's face pinched pink at his words.
Maybe second chances do happen.
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8-rae-rae-8 · 17 hours
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CW: Referenced/implied abuse, past abuse, thoughts of worthlessness, unconventional self harm. AgeRe content.
Simon who gets tense around people who don't hurt him. Throughout his whole life, even when he was safe bouncing around squads in the military, people roughed him up. Insults, punches, mocks. No matter his size, attitude or status. So when the 141 doesn't do it, he waits. He waits thinking they will eventually, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The most they do with him is spar or tease him about things that don't hurt. They don't go for his soft spots. He doesn't understand why they don't want to hurt him, he doesn't get that it's because they care.
So he tries first. Why won't they fight back with more than a snort and a pat on the shoulder? Why don't they argue?
Price doesn't show more than a slight sadness about Simon's attempts to get someone to hurt him. He pulls out the only thing he thinks will do anything. The mama voice. He can't fight with Simon, not when he can see that Simon feels soft. Breakable.
Fragile.
Why is Price so gentle when he sits him down? Called him in there with his title anyways. This was it, right? They'll fight, like he's been wanting. To prove what? That he doesn't deserve softness? That he's bad like Roba and his father instilled in him?
But Price doesn't yell. He sits in front of Simon on his desk and talks to him. How can he feel safe and threatened at the same time? Was it Price's gaze or his stance? Was it how he was so obviously the weaker of the two, or the hands that would pick him back up that made him feel that way? Price couldn't get angry and hurt him, but he doesn't. He's slow, patient and kind. Something Simon is hardly used to. His heart squeezes in his chest.
The mama voice is what makes Simon tear up. He's not being scolded, but it still feels so firm. Not mean, but with an edge to it. He looked down at his hands. Bad. Unworthy. Rude.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you." His mother and father would say. But Price softens as he looks at Simon.
"We don't have to talk now, Ghost." Ever so gentle with how he handles Simon. Respecting his wishes to not say his name but Simon ached to hear it out of his Captain's mouth. To hear his name softly said, without anger or malice. Especially without the slur of alcohol consumption.
"Are you going to get rid of me, Sir?" Simon's voice breaks. When Price pauses, his shoulders tense. Is this it? Is he done with him?
"Simon..." There it is. His name a soft sound on Price's lips. Warm, coated in concern. Don't leave. Don't leave. Please don't go.
"We're a team. No one gets left behind." Words Simon would later repeat to Johnny in the los vaqueros safe house.
"Why?" Simon questions. He hears the slight pained sound Price makes as he asks. I'm sorry. Don't go.
"We don't want to leave you... You're stuck with us." Price tries to be light-hearted, but stops when Simon frowns behind the mask. So expressive, usually when he doesn't want to be.
"I'm sorry." Sorry for what? Being argumentative? Being distressed?
...Being?
"Hey," Price crouches down next to him, following the way Simon's eyes dart to look anywhere but him, "You didn't do anything wrong." Gentle, guiding him like a child.
He felt like a child. Small. Weak. Breakable.
He hasn't heard anyone say it was okay before. No one comforted him like that. Not as a kid. Not as a teen. Not with his superiors. Because it hadn't been okay. Because he did do bad things.
And now he wasn't bad, it was okay. His mind didn't know how to deal with that.
Simon flinches as Price's hand rests on his knee.
"Simon, you're okay here. What can I do?"
Simon shakes his head. What could Price possibly do? Hold him? Tell him it was okay until it felt like it was? Let him cry it out like a kid? God he felt like a kid. Smaller and smaller the more Price talked.
He'd seen Johnny and Kyle small around him, but never let himself break. He always left as soon as he could. Now he wonders if it hurt them when he left so fast.
"'m sorry." The words come out faster, broken in the syllables. Forced and rushed. Will the other shoe drop?
"I know, Si, I know..." Price murmurs, looking up at him from his crouched position. It can't be comfortable, but neither comment.
Simon wants to fall forward into his arms the longer he looks at him so sweetly. Like Simon wasn't damaged goods. Like he was just as small as Kyle and Johnny. He feels smaller.
"Help..." He weakly mutters. He says it on the off chance that this won't hurt. That he'll be okay.
And Price doesn't leave, he promises to stay and help. Never pushing further than Simon wanted to go. He waited till he was okay to hold hands, then waited till he was okay being picked up. Then until he let himself cry. Price didn't have to work hard to notice just how small Simon made himself, how easy he could break. Simon, not Ghost. Price vowed to protect him once the sobs died down and Simon fell asleep on his chest. There in his office, on the couch in an uncomfortable position. Like he was a cat, Price didn't go anywhere.
Price gains another little that day, but he didn't bring it up until Simon came to him. Until Simon needed his help again. It's all on his time, Price doesn't push. He's the most giddy he ever had been when Simon crawls into bed with him and falls asleep safely. Cooing in his sleep. Price hadn't felt that happy before about being needed. Simon came to him for comfort. For safety. He holds it to the highest honour.
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Nancy wandered into Max's hospital room after everyone was unexpectedly kicked out. Max was lying in the bed, her head bent as she cried. Maybe she shouldn't. . .maybe she should give her the space she said she wanted. She couldn't leave her alone to cry, though. She sat carefully in the chair next to Max and took her hand. Max jumped.
"Who's there?" Max asked, her eyes trying to look around the room.
"It's Nancy," she said softly.
"I said that I wanted to be left alone," Max said.
"I know. I was never really good at doing what people told me to do, though," Nancy said, smiling when Max laughed.
"Me neither," she said softly.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you if you need to talk," Nancy said.
"I'm just - I'm really bad at letting people in," Max said.
"I'm the same way," Nancy said. "When things get rough, I tend to push away the people who matter the most. . .especially when they just fall apart, and then you just let them."
"I want to let people in, I really do," Max said softly.
"Yeah, me too," Nancy said.
"I don't know where to start. Every time I think about it, it's like I can't breathe," Max said.
"I think for me, my biggest fear is that my pain will somehow hurt them more than if I just let them go. In some weird way, it's my way of protecting them," Nancy said.
"Yeah, that makes sense," Max said.
"Somehow, in the back of my mind, I tend to think it's better if I do this alone, but we live in a world dependent on people and as much as we try to admit that we don't want help or think we don't need help there's always this part of us trying to reach out for the people we care about the most. We keep trying to push it away or stamp it out because there's people in our lives who tell us we don't need them, that we don't fit. Like my mom said to me once, 'People are always saying you can't. That you shouldn't. That you're not smart enough. Not good enough. This world, it beats you up. Again and again. Until eventually. . .most people, they just stop trying.' I think when you start to believe that, it starts to come true. I think the hardest thing for people to say is that they can't do this alone. I think it takes a lot of strength to say that you can't or don't want to do it alone. Max, you're the strongest person I know, I think you can do it. No, I know you can do it," Nancy said.
"In the junkyard," Max said, sniffling. "When Steve moved me out of the way to protect me from the demogorgon, and stood in front of us holding up the bat. . .no one's ever done that before. Not Billy, not Neil, not even my mom. . .it's the first time I felt like I could do it myself. I looked at Steve and thought that this was what a brother's supposed to be. He's supposed to protect you, not hurt you, and when I saw Billy hurting Steve, I had to stop him. For a long time, I just wanted Billy and Neil to stop hurting us. When Billy died, I thought it was my fault, so I pushed Lucas and everyone away because I thought I was protecting them."
"It's not your fault, Max. What happened to Billy. He had many chances to do the right thing by you, to be the brother you needed. He failed you, Max, and you wishing for him to stop hurting you doesn't make you a bad person. You didn't wish him to die, did you?" Nancy asked.
"I just wanted it to stop," Max said.
"He waited until it was too late, and because of what Dr. Brenner did. . .because of the Russians. . . He died without really making it up to you. All these things that happened to you aren't your fault. The blame lies on other people. I know what it's like to feel guilty about the things that are out of your control. I know what it's like to deal with trauma that no one's ever dealt with before. How do you deal with real flesh and blood monsters? We have no guidebook for this, only each other. When you're ready, we're here for you," Nancy said.
"I'm scared, Nancy," Max sobbed. "I don't know if I can handle being blind. I won't ever see my mom's face or the sun again. I won't ever see the ocean or Lucas's face. I'll never see him play basketball. I should have gone to his game. Why didn't I just go to his game? Because I was scared? What kind of excuse is that?"
"A really good one," Nancy said softly. "Sometimes, the best way you can let people know you care about them is to let them take care of you."
"He's good at that, Lucas. He read to me, I heard him," Max said. "I heard his voice. . ."
"Steve’s good at taking care of people too," Nancy said, mentioned casually.
"Except he pretends as if he doesn't like it like he's a goddamn cat," Max said, and Nancy laughed.
"He is a cat, but then I think so are you," Nancy said.
"Lucas is more like a golden retriever," Max said. "Which is weird because I'm not a very affectionate person."
"I'm not really either, but there are other ways to show people you care about. One of them is, like I said earlier," Nancy said. "And it's in the little million different ways that I think only you can discover along the way. And if it's someone who's willing to do the same, even better. . .How do you want to show Lucas you care?"
Max grinned so suddenly, it startled Nancy.
"I want to see him play basketball," Max said.
"Max. . ."
"Will's a good dungeon master, right?" She asked Nancy.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think he would be willing to transfer those skills into telling me what's going on when Lucas is playing?" Max asked.
"I think he would be willing to do anything to help in any way that he can," Nancy said with a grin of her own. "That's a good idea, Max."
Max beamed, suddenly looking more comfortable in her hospital bed.
"I want to make it work this time with Lucas," Max said. "No more pushing him a way or El or anyone else."
"I think Robin's hoping for that too. She said something about 'two flames that never should have been burned out,' so she's rooting for you and Lucas," Nancy said.
"Was she saying that about us or about you and Steve?" Max asked slyly.
"It can be both," Nancy said.
"Well, she's smart, so maybe she knows what she's talking about," Max smirked. "Does Steve have anything to do with you breaking up with Jonathan?"
"No, well, a little bit. It's been a long time coming. We've had problems before, but I think an important part of wanting to be in a relationship with someone is wanting to be with them. We didn't want to see each other, and it's not because we didn't love each other. It's just that love wasn't enough anymore. Suddenly, it wasn't Jonathan who I could see in my dream anymore," Nancy said. "He wasn't who I wanted anymore, and I wasn't who he wanted, but that doesn't mean he's not going to be in my life. We were both relieved when we ended things."
"Are you sad?" Max asked.
"A little, but I think that happens when you close a chapter of your life," Nancy said. "But then a new chapter starts. . .a new day begins and the sun rises. . . I'm looking forward to being friends with Jonathan."
They sat in silence for a while as Max let Nancy stroke her knuckles.
"Thank you, Nancy," Max said and paused. "You're too stubborn for your own good, you know?"
"I've been told," Nancy laughed.
"I didn't really feel like I would ever have a family again until I came here to Hawkins. You and the others. . .especially Steve and Robin. . .have been the best older siblings that I could have asked for. I don't think. . .I don't want to do this alone," Max said.
"We're here," Nancy said softly and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"Can you send Lucas in?" Max asked.
"Yeah," Nancy said.
She walked out into the parking lot where everyone was loitering around. Lucas was talking to Will and Mike when she approached. She touched his shoulder, trying to ignore the nostalgia and the realization that he had grown so much. They all had.
"Hey, Nancy," Lucas said with a smile.
"Max wants to see you," Nancy said.
"Is that a good thing?" Lucas asked. "I mean, is she okay?"
"Yeah, and it's a very good thing," she grinned and hugged him. "Good luck."
"Thanks!" Lucas exclaimed and ran off towards the hospital.
She found Steve’s car parked a few feet away. Robin and Dustin were leaning against the trunk while Steve argued with them about something. That was something Nancy noticed Steve did. He would start a trivial argument in order to get other people's minds off other things, especially when they worried too much and they couldn't do anything about it. He knew how much Dustin was worried about Max. Steve was so much smarter than he ever let on. His back was to her. Robin and Dustin's eyes looked at her curiously as she approached. She didn't care. Nancy placed her hands on Steve’s hips and turned him around.
"Nancy?" He asked.
"I love you," Nancy said.
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. He froze for a moment, and she was about to pull back when he returned the kiss. He wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her weight, as she moved her arms around his neck. Nancy smiled against his lips, enjoying the familiar way they fit against hers. They smiled into the kiss before pulling away.
"Hi," Steve said, his cheeks red.
"Hi," Nancy said.
He stared at her in amazement, and she looked at him expectantly.
"Oh, yeah, I love you too!" Steve exclaimed.
Robin and Dustin let out a squeal. They turned to find them both clinging to each other, jumping up and down in excitement.
"I can't believe Dustin had doubts!" Robin exclaimed.
"I didn't have doubts. You had doubts," Dustin accused.
"Harrington! Did you seriously just make out with Nancy in front of me?!" Jonathan yelled from across the parking lot.
"Oh, shit!" Dustin exclaimed.
"She kissed me!" Steve squeaked, and Jonathan laughed.
"Oh, man, your face! Sorry, man, I was messing with you. Nancy and I broke up. I'm dating someone else," Jonathan said, grinning. "We're good."
Everyone in the parking lot laughed and Steve sighed.
"I'm going to kill him," Steve muttered.
"The look on your face was pretty funny," Nancy giggled.
Steve smirked and began ticking her sides. She laughed and slapped his chest.
"Oh, yeah, you think so?" Steve asked.
Nancy laughed and shook her head. Steve stopped and hugged her tightly. She let him for a moment, letting him savor her touch while she did the same before pulling away. She laughed when he went over to gush about it with Robin. Suddenly, Lucas came running out of the hospital with a grin on his face. He ran over to Will.
"Are you okay?" Will asked.
"Better than okay! We're officially back together. She said she loves me and we kissed," Lucas said.
"That's great!" Will exclaimed.
"I was wondering if you would be able to help Max with something," Lucas said.
Nancy smiled. These kids were more than friends. They were family. They all were. Whether romantically or platonically, they were all willing to help each other through the bad times, no matter how big or small. The part of her that wanted to do everything on her own was no longer screaming at her. Even without monsters from other dimensions, it was difficult to navigate this world on your own. Nancy wouldn't go anywhere without one of her guns, just like Steve wouldn't go anywhere without his bat, nor would they go anywhere without knowing that they always had their family to fall back on.
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frostyhelltime · 1 day
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I See You
(ft. HuskerDust)
Warnings: Little bit of angst on Angel's part, but this is mostly just hurt/comfort.
Prompt: "I see you. I see you, I always have and I always will." Prompt from @unfriendlywriter
Set before they're dating, but sometime after 'Loser, Baby'. I had a lot of fun making their graphics for this as well. Hope everyone likes it!
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There's a blissful silence in the air as Husk polishes glasses behind the bar. No static that would allude to Alastor being near, no Nifty obsessively cleaning, no Charlie planning new group activities. Just. Peace.
Until a certain tall spider comes lumbering in, shoulders slumped low, and head pointed towards the ground. Husk doesn't even think Angel Dust is even aware of the weary sigh that leaves them as they trudge in, barely having the energy to even shut the front door behind him.
Husk is already grabbing a bottle and a glass for him but as soon as he pops the top off he hears Angel speak.
"I'm good Whiskers. I just...I just wanna go to bed. Maybe tomorrow." Angel waves him off sluggishly with two arms, which only makes Husk furrows his brows as if trying to analyze him.
"That bad huh?" He offers as he puts the lid back on the bottle, hesitating only a moment to see if Angel changes his mind and wants a drink after all. When Angel just sighs and keeps walking, Husk does finally put the bottle away.
"Wanna talk about it? People don't have to buy a drink to sit at my bar." He says before giving Angel a toothed grin.
"Least you don't anyway."
He's speaking genuinely, but also hopes the remark might make Angel chuckle even just a little. He doesn't, but he does let out a huff of air that Husk thinks could be close enough to a laugh that he thinks he's successful.
He does manage to get Angel to crack a smile with that one, though it is weak. But still, a smile is a smile.
"Maybe...I dunno. I don't wanna take up ya time and space if someone else comes in." Angel shrugs, looking for excuses for Husk to not comfort him. It's something foreign, having someone care about how he's doing. He's used to people only pretending to care to get what they want, usually his body or whatever it is they need. So his instinct is to try and dodge those attempts at care because it's hard to handle when they aren't genuine. He certainly wouldn't be able to handle it if Husk's care wasn't genuine. But that's a whole other issue to dig deep into as he's falling asleep.
But Husk doesn't hear any of Angel's thoughts, only what Angel says, so this time he waves Angel off with a lazy wave of his wrist.
"Most everyone is out as far as I know. And if someone does come in I can always take a break." He assured the taller one, who shifts nervously from foot to foot as he considers maybe...it would be okay to show that vulnerability to Husk again? Just this once of course. Husk busies himself with cleaning more glasses to not make Angel feel pressured into a decision one way or another.
"...Maybe but...I dunno. I just...talkin' out here in the open where someone can walk in...Maybe another time but thanks." Angel stumbles over his words until eventually he talks himself out of it and even Angel winces at how lame it sounds. Husk eyes him a moment, as if analyzing him like a math problem. He's trying to figure out how far is too far to push, but he doesn't feel good at all about letting Angel go in this state.
"...Break time it is."
"W...Wha?"
"I've decided it's time for a break. Let's head somewhere quieter to talk. Problem solved."
Husk says it so casually with a shrug of his shoulders that it just confuses Angel even more, as if it was natural to stop what he was doing to help him. By the time he processes what his feline companion has said, Husk has already put things away and is standing next to Angel, waiting only a little impatiently.
For the first time tonight Husk looks a little anxious standing next to him, hands in his pockets and waiting to be directed on where they're going to go.
When Angel comes back down to earth, he blinks a few times, standing up a bit straighter.
"Right. Yeah. Uh. We can talk in my room I guess?" Angel says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Husk only nods and gestures for him to start walking.
Neither Angel nor Husk can tell if the silence between them as they walk is peaceful or awkward, but either way they're happy to reach the door once they get there.
Angel goes in first, plopping down to sit on his bed as Fat Nuggets immediately crawls onto his lap, nuzzling into Angel eagerly to try and cheer him up.
Husk lets out a small chuckle at the admittedly adorable display and he shuts the door behind him, taking a seat right next to Angel Dust.
"Alright. So what's bothering you?"
"...The Big V. Who else?" He scoffs venomously, looking away.
"And Charlie enjoys singing. I figured that much. What did he do this time?" Husk relaxes as they begin talking im earnest, leaning back a little bit and getting comfortable.
"I just...I don't even know how to describe it. He makes....he makes me feel so worthless. Like all I'm good at and good for is his stupid fuckin' shoots." Angel grits out, hands pausing on Fat Nuggets a second.
"And when I can't even do that right..." He trails off, letting the end of his sentence go unspoken.
"I just feel...so damn invisible there. Even when all eyes are on me it feels like no one is really looking at me."
Angel hates that his voice takes on a choked sounding quality the further he talks, the tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. He turns away from Husk as if that would actually keep him from finding out.
It takes a moment for Husk to figure out what to say and then he reaches out to place his hand on top of one of Angel's, hesitating halfway there eventually deciding, fuck it, and placing his hand on top of his and giving a small squeeze.
"I see you."
It's the softest Angel Dust had ever heard Husk speak and it's so jarring he snaps his head back to look at Husk, forgetting he was trying to hide his tears moments ago.
"...What?"
Husk clears his throat, giving him his best comforting smile.
"I see you. I always have and I always will." Husk speaks with a little more confidence.
The tears that were only beginning to gather begin to flood now and Angel doubles over as his body is wracked with sobs, unable to stop himself, especially after the day he's had. Somehow it was both exactly what he needed to hear and also what pushes him past the tipping point. He doesn't know why it makes him snap, he just knows it does.
Maybe it's because he really is starting to believe Husk could be genuine, and somehow placing that vulnerability in another person's hands is terrifying and overwhelming.
But Husk doesn't judge him, just sneaks his free hand around to rub soothing circles on Angel's back as he lets him get it all out. Neither of them says anything for the duration of it, Husk out of respect and Angel out of shame.
But eventually Angel's cries do settle down into sniffles and he sits back up again, wiping what's left of the tears off his face before looking at Husk again.
"Yeah. Sorry. I...I don't know what came over me." He mumbles apologetically but Husk just shrugs. Angel only barely sees it in his peripheral because he's looking anywhere but at Husk.
"Nothing to be sorry about." He assured him, his voice soothing and neutral.
Husk's words just keep ringing in Angel's head over and over again though.
'I see you. I always have and I always will.'
Angel can't help but snort out a laugh now.
"Fuckin' liar. You didn't always see me. You hated me when I first showed up here." Angel laughs, although he still appreciates the sentiment.
But Husk just smiles like he knows something Angel doesn't.
"... Technically I didn't lie. Back then I saw you were hiding your real self. I didn't know why but I knew the you that you were presenting wasn't real...and I was right." Husk is appropriately wearing a mischievous Cheshire grin as he leans over to playfully poke Angel in the chest.
"So I still saw you, even if I was annoyed you weren't being honest." Husk's grin only grows wider when he sees the flush of red that finds itself on Angel's cheeks.
Angel opens and closes his mouth a few times as he struggles to think of words to say. But he comes up empty.
"...I...I...Thank you." Angel eventually whispers, smiling at Husk, genuinely smiling. It's a tired and exhausted smile, but it's genuine and it makes Husk relax, smiling back.
"Anytime. I'm going to head back to the bar and let you sleep." Husk pats his back as he stands up and Angel realizes how cold the top of his hand feels without Husk touching it and he's immediately standing too, Fat Nuggets letting out a small squeak of surprise before he lands on his feet on the ground. He only lets out one small huff before he seems happy again, his tail wagging, so Angel isn't too worried.
"Well since I feel better...maybe...a nice drink to relax after work doesn't sound so bad?" Angel isn't even sure what he's saying, he just knows he wants to follow him.
He thinks Husk knows it too because he flashes Angel the smile of a gambler on a winning streak and it makes his heart race.
"I'll make something extra good for you when you come down. See you in a few minutes?" He offers, wanting to allow Angel time alone to collect himself before going if he needed it.
"See you in a few." Angel nods, confirming their plans as he sits back down on his bed a moment, watching Husk wave goodbye as he leaves, shutting the door behind him to give Angel some privacy.
He can't help the goofy smile on his face as he fixes himself back up to look presentable before he heads back down to meet Husk at the bar, who is already standing there, waiting with a knowing grin and some bright pink concoction that suits Angel Dust perfectly already sitting in a glass on a napkin, waiting for it's owner to take a seat.
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lyrenminth · 2 days
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Quiet love 3/?
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The things went down from there. You avoided him more than ever while your grieved your friendship and your unrequited love. It was a big loss, so much that you asked money from your parents for a deposit. You contacted the external friend Lydia told you about, and she was looking for a roommate. Her name was Grace and she sounded kind by the phone. You didn't thought it was so bad. Since Justin was preparing for the games he was busy but you could tell he was avoiding you too and that hurt you even more. You stopped having dinner together and it was more like you hiding in your room or arriving late.
When you saw him, you were polite and distant.
The dynamic was killing you inside.
You started packing your things when Grace told you the previous roomate was leaving. You signed the lease to secure your exit. It was time to put your big girl pants.
One day your mom video called you, and she was worried.
"You don't feel comfortable in his house?" she asked.
"It's not that...I need my space. I can't be living in his house forever, mom" you explained. She bite her lip. "Please, respect my decisions"
"That's ok, but I don't want you to go homeless"
You laughed. "Don't worry about that"
"Holly wanted to talk to you" she lowered his voice. "She is worried about Justin"
You felt as if someone was throwing a bucket of cold water on you.
"Why?"
"Justin hasn't answer any calls or messages from anyone since a week ago. She didn't want to panic because the NFL is rough but that's a lot of time. And since you are living with him she wanted you to check on him" your mom explained. "Maybe the stress of the game is taking a toll on him"
You blinked. The Chargers weren't exactly winning but it wasn't that bad. They had a good record.
"Yeah, don't worry. I'm going to check on him"
"And how you are doing, darling?"
You smiled through the pain.
"Good I like my new job" you started "And California is great, I meet..."
You told your mom everything about the courses and your discoveries, but you mind was on Justin.
When you finished the call, you sent him a message. He was traveling for an away game so it was less likely to answer you but you tried anyway.
Hello
Your mom is worried bout you.
Be a good son and send her a message pls
For your suprise, he replied within minutes. It was ten pm.
I'll do
Thank you
The three dots appeared, and you looked at the screen expecting something but after a couple of seconds it stopped. And you heart broke more.
Losing a friend fucking sucks.
***
On Sunday, Justin got injured during the game. So you were worried about him and decided to stay a couple of days just to see how he was doing. You told Grace and Lydia about delaying moving in.
You were doing a favor to Holly and Mark while they arrived to L.A. His manager, Ashley was in the house at times too. You met a lot of people from his world. Coaches, therapists and assistants.
You realize how important he was for the team.
They always looked at you in surprise then look at Justin like saying "Who's this chick?" it was uncomfortable, but he never told them you were his friend or his lover either. You were just Y/N.
You made him breakfast often. The doctor was optimistic about the injury, he could move and do many things, but he was grumpy most of the time. Being out of the game was one of the things he hated the most. You helped him to stand up and drive him to the facility for his therapy.
"If you need something send me a message" you said, he was in the kitchen eating breakfast.
"Thank you"
"You welcome"
His eyes were speaking but you couldn't decipher the words.
"The boxes...are you leaving?" he struggled to say.
Did he checked your room? Why? Why does he always act like he cares?
"Yeah, I found a nice aparment"
"I- well, were you comfortable here?" his expression was unreadable.
"Yes, thank you for letting me stay" you grabbed your bag and looked at the clock. "Ashley must be here at anytime. I should go to work, you can change your diaper yourself, right?" you joked.
The truth was the injury made you feel less angry with him. It didn't matter that he didn't want you back, you didn't like to see him suffer. He was still an important person in your life, no matter how painful was to look at him now.
And you promise in middle school to have each other's backs.
"Yes, I'm an expert now" he replied, following the joke. You lingered in your place for a couple of seconds, just to see if he said something, but nope. So you said goodbye and left the house.
When you arrive at noon, Holly and Mark were there. You were so happy to see them too.
"Oh, it is so nice to see you again" you hugged them, feeling relieved.
"Look at you" said Holly at your attire. A pencil skirt and a blazer, both in purple color "You look stunning"
That night you put your best act. Nobody could tell Justin and you weren't speaking to each other days ago. And you were glad to have more familiar faces around.
You were talking about your impressions of California, and Justin didn't speak so much. Maybe he wanted to rest since he looked tired.
"She found an apartment too" Justin added, and he sounded so bitter it made you frown.
Holly and Mark looked at you.
"Wow, it is expensive?" Mark asked.
"Not that expensive"
"Did Justin told you something?" Holly asked, looking at his son.
"Not, not at all. It was just time"
"I bet"
Justin was glaring at you, and you didn't understood why he was mad. Maybe he was feeling pain again. You didn't want to deal with his mood swings.
"You should go to sleep a little bit" you suggested, in a cold tone.
The rubbed his eyes and nodded.
"I'm tired" he sighed.
The mood shifted. You felt the tension in your spine and tried to rescue the night.
"Everyone must be tired" you said, standing up and picking up the plates. "You come from a long travel from Oregon" you said to Justin's parents "You better sleep a little bit"
His parents imitated you, but you noticed Mark side-eyed Justin with disapproval.
****
In the morning, you were preparing in your room for work when someone knocked your door.
It was Justin in all his splendor. Looking grumpy as ever.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure" you said without looking at him.
He got inside and closed the door.
"Are you parents up?" you asked, putting lipstick on in front of the mirror.
That morning you were feeling better. Justin's parents always put you in a good mood.
The boxes were still sealed in the corner of your room. When he didn't replied you turned around to look at him. He was fidgeting with the hem of his Nike shirt.
"Is everything alright?" you prompted.
"Yeah...no, no really" You tilted your head to one side, looking at him up and down. "I'm sorry"
The apology landed in a sore spot.
"For what?" you were using the profesional voice you use for clients. His behavior last night was unacceptable. Ridiculous.
"For lying to you" you frowned "I know, I've always know but I was scared and I'm so sorry for being a coward. And for last night too, I was a douche"
"W-what are you talking about?" you asked, referring to the first part of his speech.
"I like you...I like you since highschool or even before, I don't know" he admitted, quickly.
You stopped breathing for a second, your organs melting inside your body.
"Why did you tell me you weren't sure?" you were cautious. At first you didn't believe him, you needed to prevent any type of miscommunication.
"Because I was scared" he explained, walking three steps toward you only to stop suddenly. You didn't move an inch "I...my lifestyle makes me feel like I can't be in a relationship, I'm busy all the time. I don't want you to feel neglected. It's just that...I wasn't ready for the change"
You studied his words and expression, he sounded and looked sincere.
He got closer again, reaching for you like a giant lost kid.
"Are you ready for the change now?" you asked, not processing completely what was happening.
"Yes, yes I am" he touched your shoulder, and you noticed he was shaking slightly. Poor Justin.
You grinned, standing on your tiptoes to hug him carefully. He hug you back, hiding his face on the curve of your neck.
"Justin, do-do you like me?" you wanted to hear him once again. Only to know you weren't dreaming. You looked at him "Is this happening?"
"Yes, I like you"
"Why do you decide to tell me now?"
"My dad sensed something was off and talked to me" he said "I just needed to hear it from someone I trust"
"Hear what?"
"What I'm losing by letting you go"
"I'm going to say thank you to him" he laughed. His expression morphed into something serious, desire. His pretty green eyes scanned your face for a sign, his eyes lingered on your lips. A silent plea. You leaned forward, and he tilt his head only to brush his lips against yours. The warm of his lips sent a shiver down your spine, and you put your hand on his chest to steady yourself. You could feel how fast his heart was beating. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered aggressively.
He did it again, only to make sure you weren't running away. In the third, his pretty mouth landed on yours, and you opened your lips. Kissing Justin felt right all the way. He was careful at the beginning, but as the time pass you needed more. You tongue search for his, and he gave you all you wanted. You fist his shirt, dragging him down to your height.
"Oh my god!" Holly's voice startled you both. You separate, your cheeks burning red. You glance at Justin who was looking the same. "I-I made breakfast, guys" she said, hiding a smile.
"Thanks, mom" Justin said in the most causal tone he could gather.
"I'll wait for you in the kitchen"
When she was gone, you touched your lips. Justin had lipstick on his lips too. You laughed and he looked at you confused.
"You look good with that tone" you said, looking for a wipe. He looked in your mirror and frowned. You gave him the wipe so he could clean himself.
The breakfast was kinda uncomfortable. Holly was trying to act cool, but you were nervous.
"Are you guys dating?" Mark asked, by looking at your face.
"Yes" Justin said, eating bacon.
His answer made you happy. Was this really happening? He sounded so confident about it.
"About time! I'm calling your mom!' announced Holly only to be stopped by Mark.
You knew your mom made some gestures toward Justin indicating her likeness for him as your partner, but you never expect Holly to like you too.
It was heart-warming.
"Once Justin is recovered you should go to the games, using his number and everything" Holly suggested. You were at some games before, wearing the colors of the team, but never official merchandise (you weren't the most fan) but the idea of being there as his partner was terrifying and exciting at the same time.
Justin looked at you with warmness in his eyes. And you swore he was the most beautiful man in the world.
The idea of dating him was the best.
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zvdvdlvr · 2 days
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— Comfort in Your Arms
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— 🐍 synopsis. You have a nightmare, Ominis comforts you.
— 🐍 warnings. Bad writing. Non-descriptive torture.
A bloody arm reached for your wand, wrapping it’s spidery fingers around it. You stood up on shaky legs, sparks of green and red magic lighting your way forward. 
As you progressed through the dark room, screams pierced your ears. But the weird thing was: they didn’t make your skin crawl. You felt nothing as you pushed open the door to a whole different room.
In the center of the room sat a blond boy. The center of his eyes were milky white, seeming to stare into your own eyes. You came forward. He was bound to a chair, ankles tied to each leg of the chair. His arms were restained with rope behind his back. “Please don’t do this,” he pleaded.
You felt a tickling in the back of your brain: he seemed familiar.
However, you stayed silent as you stared the boy down even though he couldn’t see.
“Please, darling. Let me go. This- It’s not you. I know it’s not. Let me go,” he pleaded. His voice cracked, tears falling down his pale cheeks. “Darling, please.”
A wand raised. A bloody hand- your hand- lifted a wand. Wordlessly, you flicked your wand.
Loud screams. The boy in the chair thrashed in the chair, screaming. The chair kept him in place, despite his violent attempts to escape. His sobs reached your ears, and yet again you felt that tingling in the back of your mind.
“Please, y/n! Stop it, darling please!” He sobbed, head thrown back. His molars ground together as he tried to silence himself.
Y/n.
“Y/n please!” He repeated, over and over. His voice soon quieted, vocal cords sore from overuse.
Soon the room began to shake. You looked up and around, noticing cracks in the ceiling, revealing the white sky beyond the walls of the torture chamber.
“Y/n!” 
You felt your knees buckle as a part of the ceiling fell. 
“Y/n!”
You fell forward.
“Y/n!”
You shot up, coughing. You felt a sharp pain on tje skin of your sternum as you turned your head quickly, seeing your darling boyfriend kneeling on the couch beside you. “I ca- I can’t bre-“ you stuttered, pain growing sharper in your chest.
“Breathe, my darling,” Ominis cooed, moving to tear your hands away from your body, smelling the sharp scent of iron on your hands. “It’s okay, y/n. You’re here.”
You slowly calmed down, filling your lungs with air as Ominis guided you through the aftermath of… whatever hell that was. Tears fell down your face, falling onto your’s and Ominis’s clasped hands and sliding away, down to the floor. 
“I didn’t realize you were still out in the common room,” Ominis started slowly. “I thought you’d gone to bed. I didn’t know you were here, y/n, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you whispered back, still thinking of the pain you had caused your boyfriend. Yes, it was a dream, but you feared the person you were turning into: fighting Ranrok’s pitiful group of Loyalist’s, battling money hungry Poachers who are more than willing to cast Unforgivables at you, and following Sebastian down the dark path he was headed; retrieving Salazaar’s spellbook, casting crucio on you, completely disregarding your and Ominis’s advice about staying safe. You feared you would become like the people you tried so hard to defeat.
Yet again the sound of Ominis’s screams… so vivid and life like floated around your brain. You wouldn’t allow him to get hurt- especially on your accord. “Ominis, I-“
Ominis stayed quiet as you cut yourself off. “What was it about, darling?” He asked quietly.
Tears sprung in your eyes. “It was horrible. Ominis it was you… You were ti-tied to a chair,” you explained, openly crying, not even caring about the time or how loud you were. “I was standing there. T-Torturing you. You kept begging me to stop, begging me ‘please’-“ sobs wracked your body as you crumpled into yourself, feeling Ominis’s warm body peel your face away from your hands as you scrubbed harshly at your eyes. “To stop. You told me you knew it wasn’t me. But-But you kept pleading me to make it stop.”
Ominis moved to sit by you, wrapping your arms around his body as he shushed you. He hadn’t realized exactly what you were going through. Ominis knew he loved you, and felt guilty for not noticing your troubles. He should have noticed sooner.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ominis,” you whimpered, voice hoarse.
“You won’t, my love. You could never hurt me. I promise,” he soothed, carding his fingers through your hair and hoped the gesture helped calm you down.
“But what it-“
“Stop,” Ominis cut in. “You will never be like them.”
You went limp in his arms as your cries slowed. “You deserve more than me, better than me,” you whispered as if to yourself.
“Absolutely not, y/n. Not one more word from you,” Ominis spoke. He slowly untangled your limbs from his. You looked up, scared you had actually sent him away.
“Come stay in the dorm with me. Sebastian is out doing good knows what at this hour. And the other one’s at his girlfriend’s common room.”
You took Ominis’s hand and stood up on shaky legs. You barely had time to grab your wand before Ominis swept you off your feet and into his arms. He knew the way to his dorm with his eyes closed (ha!) so carrying you would be no problem.
Despite the short travel to the boys’ dorms, you almost fell asleep. Ominis’s scent surrounding you and his secure grip put you at ease more than you would admit.
As he pushed the door open, you blinked awake. Ominis set you on his bed and silently changed into his nightclothes as you got inder the covers. After setting your wand on the nighttable, you snigfled further into Ominis’s pillow and waited for him to hold you.
Ominis pulled you onto him as soon as his butt touched the mattress. “C’mere, my love,” he murmured, letting you lie on him. Your ear rested on the silk shirt that covered his heart. “I know you deserve more than me telling you at one in the morning, but, I love you. I love you more than my whole soul y/n. You don’t have to say it back. I just-“
You brought yourself up to Oninis’s face and fently pressed tour lips on his, cutting of his increasingly anxious rambling. As he fell quiet under you, you pulled away breathlessly. “I love you too, Ominis Gaunt. More than you’ll ever know.”
You fell asleep soon after. Ominis closed his eyes and waited for sleep to find him, thankful that you found safety in him.
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lightlycareless · 3 days
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How could you break my heart on Valentine’s Day??? Waaaahhhhhh, it makes sense but it still hurts. You’re gonna give me a part three or else 🔫
Seriously though it was really good! I loved it. I calculated and rounded up how much Naoya paid Mei Mei in U.S. Dollars and this dude really paid her around $17,500 and that’s not including all the gifts he bought Y/N. If I was Naoya’s parents, his debit card is getting confiscated. That is INSANE. I can’t imagine if they somehow managed to force out what actually happened to learn he spent all that on a girl that didn’t even RECIPROCATE his feelings like oh my god. I can’t imagine the earful poor Ranta is gonna get especially since this was kinda his idea for Naoya to confess his feelings(Although I don’t know if Ranta thought he’d go about it like this).
I wonder though if Y/N would reconsider Naoya’s feelings if she read his letter. Oof but now I’m thinking about what she’d do if she learned Naoya was the reason why she didn’t receive any gifts. I don’t know how long he’d stay on her bad side after that.
Hello anon!
Gee this is surely a really late response, but I still hope you know I appreciate your lovely words about my work!! Thank you so much 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm sorry that I broke your heart on the 14th haha it was kind of unexpected ngl, but that's just where the characters took me 🤭 though it's not all sad... if you know you know.
AS FOR THE MONEY HAHAHAH poor Naoya, he definitely got an earful from his parents, or more like the people in charge of the finances, I doubt Naobito cared enough to scold him (shall I make Tomoko involved? IF SHE WAS AROUND THOUGH THINGS WOULD'VE TURNED SO DIFFERENT) Damn I need to write a small drabble explaining what happened there, but in the meantime, it kind of went like this:
Ranta: What happened Naoya?
Naoya: nothing. *doesn't talk to anyone for weeks*
Ranta: That bad?
Naoya: :(
(he doesn't regret spending all that money on you. it's like a hobby of his lol he loves it.)
But anyways, I keep thinking that the third part for this series I would like something like an epilogue, a peak into the future…
Warnings: none. Fluff. A happy ending 😊. (By the way, this is the oneshot anon is referring to. Highly recommend reading this first!!!)
Happy reading!
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“—And that, dumpling, was your papa’s and I first valentine’s day together! Kind of, not really, but it was the first time I got gifts from him. It was certainly different from what I expected, but if you look really closely, it was very sweet, and now, I’m able to look back on it fondly!” You smile; truly, who would’ve thought that you’d end up marrying that awkward, somewhat intense kid? And having a beautiful daughter too?
Though you could see in Naomi’s tense chubby face that this wasn’t exactly the romantic story she was hoping to hear, and you do not blame her, Naoya’s approach had been nothing short of alarming and unexpected, just enough to scare you off from ever considering something more from him!
But his subtle persistence, the small gestures he’d still give you even when openly denouncing he’ll never seek you again, is what eventually persuaded you otherwise.
Through his attentiveness when you were out on a mission with him, making sure that you were neither too cold nor too hot, either through offering you something to drink or his own sweater to wear.
Quick to save you from a curse that got too close, or a fellow student you were not in the mood to entertain.
Whenever you needed help with jujutsu—either a term you didn’t quite understand just yet, or plain practice. Naoya had much more experience than you, so it was only natural that you’d seek him; that wouldn’t change even with that awkward valentine’s interaction…
But above all, what made you see that Naoya might be the one you were waiting for all along, is the fact that he remembered all the things you liked, the ones that made you happy—from sweets, food, to even your favorite characters…
If his emotions weren’t genuine, he wouldn’t have done such a thing!
Perhaps your only regret is ever giving him the idea that you couldn’t come to appreciate him, or that he wasn’t deserving of love.
But that was long in the past, and after a few dates, and getting to know each other… you two fell in love.
Unfortunately, Naomi wouldn’t come to see it that way.
“What’s wrong, pumpkin? This isn’t the story you expected?” Naoya asks with a smile, enjoying the way she huffed in response—though that satisfaction wouldn’t last long.
“No, papa, you were creepy.” She pouted, and her mama could almost hear his heart shatter.
“Oh.” Naoya doesn’t even come to wonder how she knew of such word, undoubtedly from his cousins, but that would be a matter to tend to later after he mends his broken heart.
“Well, he’s done his due! Papa loves us very, very much and would never do anything to scare us!”
“Thanks, Y/N.” Naoya responds sarcastically. “That makes me feel much better.”
You giggle.
“Why don’t you leave us alone, pumpkin? Papa and I need to talk a bit.”
And Naomi obeys immediately after, not that it took much for her to do so, for her disappointment rapidly pushed her to seek something better, a bit more entertaining—like Mai and Maki’s daily occurrences, more ways to annoy her father and such.
Once alone, the two are able to freely look back on that fateful day…
“What I did back then was messed up, wasn’t it?” Naoya sighs.
“I wouldn’t say that necessarily.” You add.
“But nothing happened after that.” He says. “Things didn’t change until much later.”
“Well, I did get to see a new side of you, one I didn’t think you had.”
“What did you think of me…?”
“That you were… bold. Arrogant, a bit snobby too…” you say, Naoya’s face reddens out of shame.
“Don’t—Don’t say anything else.” He frowns. “I get the idea loud and clear…”
“But that you were sweet too.” You smile, taking his hand. “I’ve never been lucky enough to have someone hold such strong feelings for me… thought it to be something out of a fairy tale—Until I met you—someone that harbored so much love to give but didn’t know how to express it.”
“You make me sound much nobler than what I really am—I don’t know how you do it, Y/N…”
“It took me time to get there, love.” You laugh. “But it’s only because you’re so cute that I eventually thought otherwise.”
“Cute?” he huffs, ready to retort otherwise, until you lean in to kiss his cheek, gesture enough to have him willing. “Alright—but only you can call me that.”
“I better be the only one.” You warn. “Although I was hoping our dumpling would do so too when I told her our story…”
“…Well, I can’t blame her, it must’ve sounded crazy for her.” Naoya sighs. “…If someone dared do the same thing to my daughter you can be sure I’d send the kukuru to get rid of him! No jerk is going to impress her!”
“I don’t think that’ll happen; Naomi didn’t seem amused by us either way.” You reassure him. “And she’s too young to be worried about that too! All she cares about right now is when will her papa get her that kitten he promised her…”
“I’m working on it!” Naoya frets. “It’s just that kittens aren’t born until later in the year…”
“Well, let’s hope that you aren’t too late, something tells me that my sister might be already on the lookout…”
“NO, she’s not.” Naoya breathes. “I will never forgive her if she does!”
But you just shrug playfully, not really giving Naoya much of an opportunity to not worry about spoiling his daughter, fearing that he might lose the position of favorite human in the whole wide world against your sister! A rank Hinata has been coveting for as long as he could remember, competing with the rest of your family too…
A tough endeavor, though he’ll have something else to worry about now.
“By the way… I’m aware of what you did with what you did with the gifts.” You say, he freezes.
“Ho—How?” he blinks.
“Shoko told me. Mei Mei wasn’t that… fond of keeping secrets that were too juicy to hide.” You reveal.
“That woman… she told me that—!” but he goes silent, understanding there was a much bigger issue at hand. “…Are you angry with me?”
“Yes, so angry, that I’ve decided to personally torment you for the rest of our lives!” You tease, at the mischief of your voice, a weight is lifted from Naoya’s shoulders. “I was angry, but… it didn’t last long, considering that some of those gifts were from people I didn’t really want to be involved with… so, you kind of did me a favor… though I did have to go through a whole day thinking I didn’t get anything…”
“…I’m sorry—I might’ve gotten ahead of myself trying to impress you…”
“Well, for all the chocolate I missed back then, you made up for me, tenfold!” you grin, wrapping him in your arms and placing kisses all over his cheeks until you could no more. “I love you, Naoya—you and all of your bold, extravagant, though a bit silly, ways. So don’t worry about that anymore, not when it was the reason that brought us together.”
Naoya blushes, letting himself be consumed by the incessant demonstrations of your affection and the acceptance of your words, for there was honesty behind them—even when a rocky start, it ultimately fated the two together.
What was once nothing but a dream, one that seemed so far away on the day you rejected him…
Now was his everyday reality—if not better, for it brought along a small bundle of joy that made both of your lives happier, although there were moments where she didn’t feel particularly the same, unamused by her parent’s antics from time to time…
But even then, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
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They got their happy ending nonetheless :') Really, that day was only the beginning for them. It was enough for Y/N to finally set her eyes on him!! And the rest is history 🥺❤️
Thankfully I do plan to write a bit more of this HS AU, you know, the simple things like them slowly falling in love 🥺 ajfghajkghajghjkas this has to be one of my favorite au's (if not the favorite haha) can't wait to write them in time.
Now, thank you so much for your support and patience 🥺❤️❤️!!!! I'm really glad you're liking my work!!!
Take care, and hope to see you soon!!
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wayfayrr · 10 hours
Text
Toucan play at this game
Part two of Birds without feather flock together!!! this is a direct continuation of the previous fic and it was also commissioned by @lost4pandora <3 this time there's more fluff and just overall softness
[masterlist]
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“Pressing in what way? Because I know Wild wouldn’t have been so upset with simple ‘questioning’.”
“I- you remember what you did for me during the war? The um-”
“So you’ve been pushing him about getting prosthetic wings.”
Makes sense why wars has been looking guilty now, if it wasn’t for the fact that they knew it was possible from me helping to repair his back in the war, then they wouldn’t be able to push it so hard. It’s not exactly his fault as long as he wasn’t one of the few that’ve been pressuring him. 
“Well, the others have. I backed off after the first time it was talked about because I respect Wild’s decision. Wars however…”
“It - I, I wanted to drop it but the others, well they wouldn’t exactly let me. I-”
“He w’s their shin’n example.”
“Wild’s right, as much as I wanted to let the topic just drop…”
“Wars struggles to tell the others no sometimes.” Not like I needed to be told that, after how much time I’ve spent around him it’s pretty clear he has a hard time saying no to anyone really. Every time I asked him the smallest favour he always did it without question, often times above what I asked for too. His will to please is often his fatal flaw. He still could have stood up more though seeing how much it affected Wild, they were doing it out of concern, no need to flip out at them yet. 
“I am aware. He’s shown that off time and time again.”
“Huh? but it’s only to people he’- don’t shove me like that!?”
“I know. I know trust me. It’s something I’m working on.” What was Sky going to say if wars hadn’t interrupted him there? Does it really matter though, what this is supposed to be is learning why this pressing has been so bad for Wild and how to get the rest to drop it. Although the time away from the group seems to be doing him good, his familiar weight pressing into my side as he’s making himself comfortable leaning on me. 
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been upsetting him though, does it?”
“Well no it-”
“Yeah it doesn’t, does it.”
They’re both fumbling a little bit now, Wars a considerable amount more than Sky, who’s admittedly keeping a fair amount of this new colder unbothered demeanour of his about him. It’s both oddly comforting and at the same time chilling, without Wild here to help keep the warm in my bones I might have frozen to the touch. I can’t say I wouldn’t want to see more of it. 
“So I take it that one of you is going to tell Time and the others to start laying off of him before I take matters into my own hands. Wars preferably? Seeing as you’re the one who’s pretty much the cause of this.”
“Wars should certainly be the one to do it.” 
The growl in Sky’s voice was completely new, even to someone who’s been travelling with him for longer; Isn’t a growl usually a sign of a bird being aggressive? Is he getting aggressive for our sake… why does my face feel so warm all of a sudden; and are Wild’s tail feathers poofing up? Huh… Maybe there’s something else to question if we get any privacy from wars later, although… It’s probably better for Wild and I to discuss things first, so that neither of us get hurt. 
“I- well, I- yes. I do need to take some responsibility for my part in this after all, don’t I?”
“It’d be the first step to earning both Wild and I’s trust in you back, if you want to do that anyway.”
“Huh - What of course I want to- why wouldn’t I?”
“Why wouldn’t you? Because you’ve shown that you put the pressure of the chain as more valuable than their feelings you fool.”
Wars looked worse than if he were slapped across the face at that; it’s nice not having to be the one to call him out on it either, because Hylia above I know I would have been worse than Sky was. I care for Wars, of course I do, but the fact that he simply went along with this when he saw how much it was affecting my sweet little bird? I would have made him regret it. Which he knows.He’s got the decency to look ashamed though. Standing with his wings drawn close to him, looking smaller than Sky for once even; although with how much he’s puffed out it’s not that hard to look smaller than him. 
“Guys.”
With the speed at which both of them turned their heads, I’m surprised that neither of them got whiplash or worse. The silence was more deafening than it should have been too; the whole forest around us seemingly dropping dead.
“I think it’s for the best that Wars goes back now so that we can avoid most of the fallout.”
“They’ll just question you later instead.”
“Yes, but we won’t be there for the Immediate backlash.”
“You’ll only be putting it off though.”
“You should go back now and tell them we’ll stay here for the night.”
It’s good that Wild feels comfortable enough to be speaking again now, and well I can’t say that having him be so assertive isn’t nice either. He’s still just as cuddly though so nothing was lost, except for maybe a little bit more of the captain's self-esteem as his wings droop even lower.
“Sky and I can go back to the main camp then. Throw ourselves to the wolves for you.”
You can hear the nerves in his voice now; letting out a quiet warble with frantic glances in sky’s direction. Why is he so worried about going back alone? 
“‘d prefer if Sky stayed here.”
“Oh?”
That was the biggest possible stroke to Sky’s ego that he could have given the man, made immediately clear by how much he puffed himself up and started getting flustered. Even going so far as to let out the softest little trill, competing with Wild for the cutest bird. Wait what am I thinking - why am I even - I don’t - I don’t see sky in that way. Do I?
“Mhm, I wanna be with the people I trust r’ght now.”
“And I’m one of those people!?”
“... you don’t trust me?”
“No… not at the minute.”
That seemed to be the nail in the coffin of the captain’s ego, leaving it shattered on the floor now; now he’s just looking between me and Sky for something is it pity he wants? Whereas Sky walked over with the biggest grin on his face, like the cat that got the cream. Since when did he get so damn pretty? 
“Can - Will I be able to earn it back?”
“In time, if you prove you really want to. But not now.” 
“That - yeah I can live with that. I’ll prove it to you that I will- that I can.”
And with one final teary-eyed glance between us, he turned and left. Leaving the three of us alone. I can’t say that I’m surprised that Wild trusts Sky but to want him here after the argument, well that is surprising. I can talk to him about it later though, maybe we could get him to collect some firewood while we collect our thoughts. 
“So what are we doing now? I guess I’m staying up here for the night. Unless you two would prefer some privacy in a bit?” 
“I - I’d like you to stay, please. Just, could you possibly give us a little bit of time, a few minutes even?”
“Yeah, some time to process everything would be lovely.”
“That works well, I’ll just go fly around for a bit and don’t worry I won’t listen in on you.”
Now it’s just Wild and I sitting alone on the plateau like we were back at the start of our journey again. 
Waiting till Sky was high enough to the point where we wouldn’t have to be worried about hearing anything as he circled the area lazily before going to perch somewhere. Leaving us to discuss everything. Well after sitting down and getting as comfortable as we both could, which meant sitting with Wild snuggled up against me.
“So them pressing you is why you’ve been so stressed recently? Why didn’t you come to talk to me about it my lil fluffball?”
“Didn’t want you overreacting.”
That- that’s fair, I can see why he thought I could have done that. 
“But I wouldn’t have done anything that you wouldn’t have wanted me too.”
“Mhm, I know ‘s just worried about it.”
“Okay that’s understandable love, but please don’t hesitate to tell me if it ever happens again. I don’t want you dealing with it alone.”
“I won’t, I promise. Besides I’ve got sky, wolfie and you now.”
“Oh? Sky’s made it into that list fast hasn’t he?”
“He’s a good friend to me, and I know there’s something going on between the two of you too.”
What? What does he mean by that? 
“I’m not blind my beloved, you look at him the same way you looked at me before we were together.”
I could feel my face lighting up now. Between everything he’s saying and the fact that he’s pressing kiss after kiss on my neck. My sly little bird trying to stop me from really being able to focus. Just because he doesn’t want to talk about his own issues. If he thinks I’ll drop it over him trying this he’s dead wrong.
“No, no there isn’t anything there link. And anyway we’re supposed to be talking about you here.”
“I’m not bothered, you know. I think sharing you with him would be nice.”
“Link I’m trying to talk about you being upset, not about whatever you’re imagining right now. Please stop trying to change the topic.”
“He looks at you the same way too, wouldn’t you at least want to try?”
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tubbytarchia · 2 days
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Love anon here. I’m like the evil hate anon or maybe just the hate anon in the future. You’re cool, your art is genuinely amazing, it and your writing and analysis make me feel bad things but in a good way. Please never stop doing what you do it is so cool that you create things that you enjoy. That is one of the most powerful things about you and so many people on tumblr. And you know sometimes I disagree with you or them but I simply either look away or continue looking with love depending on how much I care about the disagreement because I love that you are creating
Aww... Thanks love anon 🥺 My writing makes me feel bad things too lol but it's not my fault bad things happen to my little man... Like some people think I want to see him hurting? It's not up to me man that's just what I see...
Sigh if only the world had more people like you who don't mistake disagreement as immediate reason to hate. If there are people in my following who don't always agree with me but stick around anyway, you're SO awesome just for how rare that's become lol, it speaks volumes for what you think of me and I respect you to the ends of the world. I always welcome different people's takes though! It's only when defensive or passive aggressive language gets involved that I grow tired of it, but like... genuine discussion!! If you or others ever want to express opinions different from mine then I welcome it. This is genuinely what so many people like me are trying to get but any disagreeing response to my toxic FH and such tends to be "You're wrong because I said so" or "you're wrong because I ship FH and you can't stop me" (??Not what I'm trying to do) or "you're homophobic" (this accusation comes up so much, genuinely). Guys I just want to have discussion...!!
(And if people don't wanna partake in said discussion then they should look past!! Like you!! People are crazy man)
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mishapen-dear · 6 months
Text
thinking about 4halo again and dying
they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other
and then the eggs went missing
and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.
and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.
forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.
and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.
and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.
and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.
and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds
#qsmp#4halo#i feel like ive talked about this exact thing like three separate times but#its one of those things that really Kills Me#and its CRUCIAL to understanding them and their relationship#they were fighting and now have found peace in hell#and forever using his care for bad as a distraction to not focus on his Own woes#and the way he's so sure bad needs help the way he was helped that at heart bad is a good person who doesnt want to be hurting people#and in a Way he's right. bad doesn't want to hurt his loved ones. everyone else? yeah. in a heartbeat. but his family...#but he's still makign the choice to do it. it's not lashign out in desperation the way forever destroying the island was#bad is hurting people with Purpose. he's putting thought into it. he's testing people and their knowledge and their motivations and he will#use them all as tools that can be bent and broken if it means they get the eggs back. he'll do it to himself too#especially to himself#ghhhgrhrgh the way theyre both self sacrificial and self destructive the Parallels the fucking parallels#i can best examine their relationship from a bbh pov and it agonizes me because i can't get all the nuance of forever's pov#because i dont speak portuguese yet :c#so best i can do is talk crazy about them like a Lure for other analyst shippers#pspspssps dont you see my ship. dont you see how canon 4halo is !!! in 8 acts#dont you want to examine them and their parallels and the way they are both so strange about relationships but they're finding a way to car#in a way that works for them#pspspsps#like me talking about qbbh vacation arc got the fandom acknowledging his sillies and directly got me a friend to talk about him to (hi kia!#maybe it will work here also#come to the dark side we have complex relationship dynamics that are frequently misunderstood and mislabelled#YOU can help change the world
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worstloki · 10 months
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not a fan of people saying Odin and Loki are similar in a moral or decisive sense, particularly when it comes to Thor. that makes it sound like Loki doesn't know Thor or care about him beyond what he symbolises (regarding Asgard/the throne/family/worthiness), when that's a defining part of their relationship
#like i get WHY people go 'oh Thor is like Frigga (they care™/bring Emotions in) and Loki is like Odin (calculating™ /For The Greater Good)'#but if you make such a clearcut comparison you neglect a lot of stuff that Odin and Loki do drastically different#like there are literal contrasts that are pretty evident around Thor particularly#like Odin does expect Thor to be some ideal version of himself that obeys Odin implicitly and doesn't have his own volatile emotions?#while Loki more sees that Thor isn't who he tries to pretend to be and generally encourages Thor to realize that#the most obvious parallel would be how they in TDW try telling Thor that Jane won't work out#and Odin goes for the whole 'well they're insignificant' angle despite Thor caring about the humans and Jane particularly#Odin tries to go 'here's Sif and since you shouldn't have your own preferences (they're wrong and bad) consider my choice'#he largely disregards Thor's emotions#most people do on Asgard????#like it's literally wild how everyone saw Thor being major depressed and they basically told him to pretend to cheer up#like im sorry Thor's grief means nothing to y;all. he fell in love with someone very mortal and his brother is changed forever#Loki tries putting Thor off by first off. Thor KNOWS Jane isn't going to live long he's not never thought about it#he doesn't even make the decision for Thor he tells him to consider his choice well bc it WILL hurt him when she's gone#Loki is like treats Thor like a person and Odin is like nah I own him#I feel like in converting the brother/father relationship difference over people lose the differences in those aspect#they skip to similarities of heartlessness and Machiavellian ends meeting the means when Loki overall is#a far more moral character than Thor (at the start of Thor's arc) and Odin. and a lot of culturally Asgardian ideas#that's literally part of Loki's original characterization that he DIDN'T match up with their views#he didn't do stuff like take killing lightly like it's for fun and that's one of a long list of obvious aspects that make the setup cool#don't tell me Odin and Loki are the same#like there's some blanket understanding that Loki doesn't show or care about the people he loves#while Thor and Frigga have always been softhearted and refused to sacrifice themselves for what is deemed better for everyone#don't mistake selfishness for apathy and don't say Loki didn't cry himself through the first movie because duty to the throne comes first#that's literally Thor's bit#idk
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featherymainffins · 6 days
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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