#how do people even make AND keep friends

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills

Part 1 - Part 3

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #disco elysium #MDZS disco elysium au #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #yu ziyuan #While it's more in vogue to draw a character's skill roster tailored to them - #One of the more subtle details I love in DE is how some of the skill portraits parallel character portraits of people hbd associates with. #Theres somethine rather poetic to be said about how other people shape out thoughts and sometimes act as a 'voice' in our head. #How we are in part a collection of impressions other people left behind on us. #I am a huge Skillhead (Those are my friends! My party members! They love me! They have their own agendas and alliances!) #so of course a healthy portion of this AU is dedicated to them <3 #the Int skills go basically unchanged from DE. Psy as well (with changes to a few quirks in voice). #Fys skills though...well...wwx is in a different body! Those voices belong to Someone Else. #Esp electrochem (MXY in this AU also partied to near death. WWX is withdrawing and craving substances he's never even heard of before) #While I personally don't fully subscribe to Volition Jean I *do* see Volition Jiang Cheng. The voice of your Not Brother keeping you afloat #All three of these parallels make me unbelievably sad. They are also both purple. Art is like that sometimes. #Empathy Jiang Yanli...oh man do I have a lot of thoughts about her. Disco fans Who Know....you can probably see what I'm cooking. #Authority is a really interesting skill in DE because *yes* its about power and intimidation - but it's also about finesse and respect #Titus Hardie and YZY both abuse *and* finesse how they establish their authority - in a way that leaves quite an impression. #2 more mdzs disco posts that I *need* to create and then I'm off to working on raffles <3

[lnkedmyheart]

This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking

"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."

Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.

I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.

He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.

He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.

Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".

He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.

Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.

In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.

But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.

Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.

And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel

Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya

But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain

Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).

Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.

This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.

(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)

So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.

Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.

(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)

Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.

#soukoku #ah my ramblings #i just really really love the light novels #i am mostly joking about the romance of it all #mostly #but Dazai cares about Chuuya and idk I think this is such an important aspect of Dazai's character #like even if you dont lile the ship its really not fair to ignore how much Dazai genuinely cared for Chuuya #not because it supports the ship but because it shows that Dazai despite his claims of being a monster was ridiculously human #he saw this boy he was fasicnated by and he said- I need to keep him as my friend #and proceeded to do it in the most unsocialized troll brained clown way #i love this boy so much #someone hug him please #dont get me wrong I dont think dazai and chuuya's relationship was super healthy but it wasnt as toxic as people make it seem either #yes Dazai desperately needed Oda and Ango but Chuuya was also and is still an important part of his life #long post #i am not going back to chexk for writing errors. I'm sleepy.

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[mintaikcorpse]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum #but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone #and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things? #YOU DONT #IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW #ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM #I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through #and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry #had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood #idk just venting and rambling lol #aroace #ace spectrum #gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp #and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks #its annoying but it is what it is #aromantic #asexual #lgbt #queer #talking #rambling

[kineticallyanywhere]

wip wednesday, why not

#dndads #dndads 2 #normal oak #henry oak #help this boy or so help ME #kineticallyart #fanart #wip wednesday #will cant make henry and normal have extended conversations with each other but i c a n #i mean he could really he could write like #post-canon novels or something #do they know #do they know how FAST people would buy that up #id buy it #id buy it for my friends #why am i doing this will would just break my heart even more #oak boys catch a hecking break and keep it challenge

[mushtoons]

us: hey before we become attached to you we're telling you straight up that talking is hard and we struggle with it, so there will be times where our responses will come extremely late or come across empty and dry

someone trying to befriend us: oh that's okay! i dont mind!

us: this is not an exaggeration we cannot stress how hard speaking is for us at times please do you really understand before we get our hopes up?

them: absolutely! i understand its okay! talking sucks sometimes its cool :) I'll talk for all of us

also them: you never talk to me it feels like im always doing all the talking and the only one trying in this friendship 💢 try and at least pretend u want to be my friend 🖕

#hi guess who lost another fuckin friend because something is wrong with us 🙃 #we try and warn people before we start enjoying their company that its just #so fuckin hard for us to speak????? #we stress it and explain it and pled with them to understand and shit like this keeps happening #dude we're not joking when we say it its not an exaggeration we cant fucking speak 😭 #we try and the most we do is come across as uncaring #we dont know how to fix it without ignoring our own feelings and needs in favor of someone else's #damn man 💔 #sorry mini vent #it just sucks we've lost so many people this way it makes it even harder to talk to people #wood wide web #the biggest fucking shout out to shift for being the only damn person on this planet who understands us 😭 #we love u sm man u don't understand thank u for tolerating our dumbasses

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively) #i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it” #and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?" #jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[cinnamon-phrog]

I feel too sick to sleep right now, everything's' too cold or too hot and I can't even breathe without thinking I'm gonna throw up

#it's because i've been drinking diluted juice #i swear the shit they put in that makes me delirious with fever #ughhhh so sick wish a nice big strong mechanoid could help me rn :( real shame #gonna drink water till the middle of the night. there goes my plans for a better nights' sleep :< #i do genuinely feel awful and i have been feeling so for a while and it's all my own doing. not eating healthy. stressing out and barely- #-sleeping. i have stretch marks from losing weight and circles under my eyes. everything's fuzzy. i keep forgetting basic things. #i'm worried about my future. i'm too disabled to function with a job but not disabled 'enough' just because i can speak 'clearly' #i've got no irl friends or family to fall back on. i can only travel so far and i get meltdowns far easier now #months ago i was treated like a pet. now i'm an adult before i ever got to be a child. #i want to be held. be loved without even having to say a word to each other. not even by an f//o but by someone who'll be willing to love m #but all i am now is sick and hungry and hot and cold and tired and awake. #i can't imagine how much worse it is for other people though. i've seen awful images and they're not even a taste of how terrible it is #i worry i won't be able to afford food in the future. or have a stable flat or apartment. that social services will let me down again #this year was meant to be a break but i'm constantly worrying about the time i become 18. my autism and lack of any social life- #will impact me and i'll be fucked over easier than ever. and that happens often #college brought me panic attacks where i'd physically harm myself till i got migraines in front of people and they didn't bat an eye #i could be kicking and screaming and begging for help but they'll just ignore me or infantilise me

[derpinette]

girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could

#SORRY for the corny post but this is how i truly feel not waxing poetic here like literally it does #i just met the cool girl i keep talking about & IT WAS SÅ FREAKEING ÅSUM ^_^_^_^_^_^ YAY #HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY #OK sorry for screaming But i really am very excited... #turns out she is autistic & we discussed our neuroses while eating & ugh she is just as cool as i thought she was #always tell people you think have Swag that you noticed it on them see how it worked for me #i was so scared of spilling my spaghettis but turns out that was exactly what i needed to do to be friends ^_^ YAY #we went to a lot of different libraries together & i got a small old eyeless bunny plush from the event we went to caus i felt bad for it #i even showed her my pony art & i told her about my cringe interest (that music event i like...♯RealOnesKnow ) #& she thought it was COOL.& i felt like it was really genuine & she talked about reading BL LOL we discussed fujos together #we even talked about finding moids ugly #it was so awesome she was so cool & Nice To Me... i feel like i am on CUMULONIMBUS ( cloud 9 ) ^_^_^_^_^_^ #talking to her in person was so much better than online OMG now i wish i really was friends with you muties IRL #i wish you a Girl Friend experience just like this to those who post about wanting them i really do #also the reason why i even like my Music Event so much is because the first time i watched it was with a bunch of women #& i had so much fun & they were so nice to me i keep returning & now that Event means so much to me & I LOVE IT sorry (NOT) #i know this sounds like tumblrina fiction i would not believe it either IDK what to say to make it sound legitimate 0_0 like it is so crazy #to me as well IDK i can barely get over it & IDK if i really want to so um well YAY ^_^ AIMU SO HEPI :DDD

[fallout-fucker]

Sole Survivor Headcanon

Kind of OC based but it's also vague (Although Minutemen leaning) so like. If your Sole wasn't a soldier or lawyer. Or anything. Just a skill-less bastard. You might like this. Enjoy.

Sole being trusted by so many factions just for breathing is so funny actually. Like they deadass crawl out of a cave, freshly traumatised, and told they're a General? Because they helped someone? Cool, yeah, sure, uh-huh. That's a great amount of pressure to handle on top of their circumstances.

I like to think that everyone also assumes they're insanely clever. It's not that Sole isn't, per se, but everyone treats them like a genius. A prodigy. People have told Sole they understand why Preston trusted them so much because the Commonwealth 'needs their level of knowledge and intelligence to get better'. To which Sole is always bewildered, because their 'extensive level of knowledge' is just. High school level. Basic science lessons.

They know about evolution and stem cells and stuff. They know how disease and antibodies work. They're praised for changing people's opinions on vaccination when, with the help of Curie, they start a campaign to bring back vaccines. Their goal was to fight the viruses that had been brought back from near extinction from 200+ years of no healthcare system, no scientists and doctors to cure them. A tilt back in the direction of accessible Pre-War healthcare.

Sole knows history. They know what to watch out for, how to spot tension between factions. They know how to avoid more war, lessons learned from textbooks and late nights with post-it notes. They know how to piece together a scale and pin point the tipping point to stop it before shit goes down because they did a project about it on a WW1 assignment. The Great War. The irony is not lost on Sole when they contemplate that name for too long.

They're decent at Maths. Decent enough to make sure the caps and donations to the Minutemen are being put to good use. To make sure the book keeping is up to code and every cap is accounted for, and what it should be put towards. Like trying to bring back vaccines from 200 years ago. Negotiating with Vault 81 to let Curie use the old lab there goes way more smoothly when they've got the caps to make a worthy case for the cause.

Sole knows why people assume their mind is unmatched, though. In a way it is, sort of, they suppose. Since education is rare in the Post-War world, and even then it's not at the level it was Pre-War, Sole just seems smart. Everyone thinks they are.

Sole never knows how to handle it.

Are they complicit for letting people believe they're a genius? Should they keep up the charade so people listen to them? The thought keeps them up at night. Preston laughs at them for it.

MacCready reminds them of the many times they looked like a dumbass in every other circumstance where they lacked knowledge. 210 years of missing out on General Wolrd Stuff will do that to ya. It's not necessarily their fault, but he still likes to drag them for the time they got food poisoning because they didn't realise some of the new plants had to be cooked before consumption.

Every time someone acts in awe of Sole's intelligence, MacCready snickers because he was there in the early days. Sole had hired him to watch their back. Soon enough he became their mentor on how to shoot a gun properly. How to maintain it. What to eat, what not to eat, what to definetly not eat. How to make sure mole rat meat is 100% cooked. How to safely remove as much radiation as possible from water and food when you have only basic supplies. He would never think Sole is stupid. They know a lot compared to most people, but learning how to survive and knowing how to count are very different types of knowledge. No, he'd never think they're stupid. But he definetly humbles them, which Sole is actually happy about. He still affectionately calls them an idiot and reminds them of the time they tripped over their own laces, alerting the radstag they were hunting of their presence. And the food poisoning thing. And the incident with the bucket. And when they almost touched a deadly plant because they thought it would look nice in a vase they found.

Thing is, Preston taught them basics of how to shoot and fight before they left Sanctuary. MacCready picked up the workload when he met Sole and realised they'd likely get them both killed if he didn't. Cait showed them hand to hand combat and lockpicking. Everyone at some point taught Sole something. So Sole goes red from embarrassment when being complimented on their mind, because they know they're gonna get an earful from their friends later. Affectionately bullied. You know Deacon has some blackmail level information from the months he followed them. They all sit at Sole's kitchen counter and share stories of Sole's embarrassing misadventures over breakfast. That's just what a family does.

#Sole Survivor #Preston Garvey #Robert Joseph MacCready #MacCready #Cait #The companions all (Within reason) move to Sanctuary and basically live together agenda #Seperate houses but they all go to Sole's kitchen for breakfast eveey morning. #Sole doesn't know how they keep getting in. They're there before Sole is even awake. Codsworth always has their drinks ready #I'm pushing my 'As much as they say theh hate each other all of the comps secretly love each other or do eventually' #Looking at you Danse #They're a family baby. Their the equivalent of Millennials and Gen Z not being able to afford homes in their economy #So people live with their best friends instead #Sanctuary is just a commune for all of Sole's friends and found family #'It takes a village'. Duncan and Shaun literally have a village. So many aunts and uncles bro #I love thinking about everyone being close. They're like pack animals. Mess with one and. You have at least 10 people hunting you #This deserves it's own post tbh #I wanna make a companions headcanon post based on them as a found family #Fallout #Fallout 4 #Deacon

[gideonisms]

See I think if I'd been born a guy I wouldn't be this pathologically avoidant trying to plan my career because there are plenty of situations you can find as a cis man where you just Do Tasks in awkward silence and you can get to those as a woman but you have to go through the rings of hell socializing first and then besides, a lot of those jobs already have so many men that you stand out when the whole point was you Don't want to do that

#you gotta be god's strongest soldier to survive this shit and i am not! i am god's weakest most pathetic soldier! #i survived five years of customer service crying weekly and getting harassed and being a baby about it #when i got promoted no one would listen to me and it made me constantly anxious and then so tired it took me a year to be able to #think about having a job as something remotely positive and stop crying about it #idk how other women are doing this shit a guy treats me like his sexy servant and i feel BAD and upset for years #and think of what he said 7 years later and they only touched me on the shoulder and made comments other people go through worse! #but i am not strong or determined i just want to go through my life in peace and stop talking to people altogether #it wasn't just guys who treated me badly older women made fun of me and called me lazy and stupid #tutoring was fine but i felt like i was putting on that same performance and at that point it all felt so awful i just. didn't want to #i can see no way out of talking to people for the rest of my life and it gets me down sometimes #i know i get to come home but even then i will probably need people to live with #i basically only like my family and close friends talking to me sometimes even that is hard #sometimes it's way easier to type and feels less awful #i think i have to just keep on keeping on until i can finally get good enough to freelance edit and code that's the only thing i can think #of doing that doesn't make me cry #emails are fine they suck but i don't have to control my face and tone so.

[hella1975]

ive got an essay due at 3pm tomorrow and ive not even looked at it i am so so unserious about my degree and by the grace of some higher being i somehow keep managing to crawl through it's actually getting a bit funny

#me and an old friend of mine used to have a running joke during a-levels that im just one of those people where shit Works Out #and it started bc we shared two a-levels (english and economics) and in BOTH classes i regularly didn't do the homework #or the reading etc and yet it would ALWAYS work out for me #like we'd walk into a class neither of us having done the homework and they'd get yelled at while i went under the radar somehow #or that one english essay i got the highest score in the class when i literally hadn't even read the fucking book it was on #and when we pointed the theory out it started just becoming really prevalent #like no matter how late i am for things i'll arrive and by some miracle the thing im late for is also late (e.g a train or teacher) #like im just one of those people that has very very mundane luck #and low and behold i am fighting this degree with bloody fists putting the absolute bare minimum in for my own sanity's sake #and i SOMEHOW keep pulling through. literally failed two modules last year and STILL got a 2:1 average #and the last essay i wrote was the worst essay id ever done in my life and i get my standards are higher bc ik im good at essays #but the point still stands and you know what? i got a FIRST #literally was pure waffle i have never blagged it so hard and i got a FIRST #and all this shit just makes me cockier and cockier and go even more by the skin of my teeth and it ALWAYS WORKS OUT #it's soooo silly but im not complaining. anyway ill keep u posted about this essay <3 it's econ history so is actually interesting #but the most ive done for it is ask the sc ai lmao and for context degree-level essays usually require a good few days of graft #live love laziness #hella goes to uni

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else #you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should #change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting #affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree #with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them #or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation. #the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this. #and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough. #you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you #an authoritarian. #i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont #set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU #FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police #n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be. #you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all. #what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you #throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh. #accelerationists should never be taken seriously.

[lucalicatteart]

cannot resist using the polls to make up a little collaborative story lol.. Not sure how much I can keep it up with my low energy/health problems lol, but I'll try to draw a new picture (+ write a small text blurb and new action options to vote on) each day based on the past day's results, at least for a while. Kind of like a 'sketch a day' type challenge, except story based with votes choosing what happens next. :0

#trusty old MSpaint.. the best program for very quick sketches lol #also I'm sure other people have already done this - even though I havent seen it I know its out there. If there's currently #some really popular story poll going around or soemthing I'm not trying to copy anyone. i just love things like this and do them #whenever possible (collaborative stories with friends on social media messages. making little text adventure games #in forums. etc. etc.). Immediately once I saw the poll feature I was like OH!!! IT COULD BE USED FOR THAT!! #anyway! #also posting on my art blog since it is kind of an art challenge-y sort of thing and then it wont clog up my main #blog. I can just reblog only the most recent poll on there #Hopefully will keep it up for at least a week - or longer - though I may have to skip days in the middle #my chest muscle stuff is still kind of flared up so it limits how long I can sketch on the computer #though these only take like 20-30 min depending on amount of detail so #hopefully managable llol #but yeah!!! vote!! #choose this little elf (and his cat)'s fate! : 0

[theflyingfeeling]

...💌

#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog #just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone #because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary #but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares #and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive #and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever #and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course! #but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? 😭 #and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend #and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis #until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing #they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :) #which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was #like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation #especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it #but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it #and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me #i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol #so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again 🤡 #i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol #but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for it😤 #this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding #anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas? #additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care #(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)