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#how can i set a foundation for checking in abt little worries before they get bigger & can i forgive similar little worries in others
tavoriel · 4 years
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the best way I know of to eat ice cream:
1. fill a mug about 1/3 full with frozen fruit  2. microwave  3. ice cream on top
you can add peanut butter.  you can add maple syrup.  supermarket peanut butter goes on top of the fruit before you put the ice cream on.  if you have artisan peanut butter, it goes on top of the ice cream as a topping, and it hardens a little as it gets cold.  when you hold the mug, the bottom feels warm and the top feels cold, & you’re probably going to eat the ice cream creation fast enough that it will be both warm and cold.  I feel like there isn’t anything particularly ‘clever’ in this but i feel like i always underestimated how straightforward it is to upgrade my ice cream experience & how just a little bit of extra effort doesn’t have to be a special occasion thing
#do you ever wonder if the common advice to think of non-rejection reasons for behavior when ppl appear to be rejecting you#is important and insightful but incomplete?#do you ever consider how important connection acceptance and belonging are for survival?#do you ever frown at humorous observations that our minds & bodies still think we have to protect ourselves from tigers#at the idea that anxieties are a quaint & charming & fairly useless byproduct of humanity outgrowing evolution too quickly#an archaic alarm system that only gets in the way#when not having connections can leave you homeless and starving even in this 'safe' modern world without tigers?#when not having emotional needs met can be its own kind of torture whether you have material needs met or not?#when you can't have connection at all unless at least one person accepts you?#would anything be different or better if you recognized fear of rejection as fear of not being able to survive#have you ever consistently & optimistically thought of non-rejection reasons for behavior and found yourself at#a crocodile pit at the end of a path with 37 signs that say 'crocodiles ahead; turn back maybe'#would anything be different or better if; instead of carving 'my friends and social groups never hate me i only think they do'#into the cement of your outlook before it dries#you asked yourself; how can I cultivate support; which rejections represent a blow to a foundation of something and which#rejections are not connected to my safety and stability & may feel bad but do not represent a personal crisis#if i expect someone to support me in some way how can i reciprocate?#how can i set a foundation for checking in abt little worries before they get bigger & can i forgive similar little worries in others?#if a foundation i thought was safe becomes unsafe how will i begin again#what signs do i look for that a relationship is safe so inevitable little 'does that tone of voice mean rejection' questions#get weighted less heavily when i wonder if i'm safe?#and even; how can I see some but not all hurtful behaviors as mainly other ppl protecting their own survival needs#protecting their energy from the tigers that arent tigers that their anxieties beg them for safety from#what a relief to consider 12 possible reasons someone could be acting like X that DON'T mean that they hate you#AND 12 reasons you're being intentional & self-compassionate about your own connection needs no matter what#ppl are gonna be at different stages of journeys & ppl are gonna need different things; if this isnt useful or relevant it doesnt have to be#I brought my neighbor some on sale baked goods from the gas station bc its a pandemic & I worry we're all not connecting enough#& I've been hearing her talking to her pets all day#maybe its all just a connection economy and that's it
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lcyalty · 4 years
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i don’t feel like making a joke to break the ice so here’s one of my favorite tiktoks: https://vm.tiktok.com/s1rSS5/ . anyways, hiii, fed admin sabrina here :) time to check off the introductory personality checklist: i’m 20, a leo, a slytherin, a woc, a pre-law major on the east coast, uhhhh harry styles and marvel trash, i play over 10 instruments, i prefer the thigh over the chicken breast, and i’m really happy u all r here and joined my little creation :’) smack that read more to learn abt my children daisy moretti and jude valentine so we can plot !!
                                                             DAISY MORETTI.                                                  pinterest: https://pin.it/7unKPi8                                                                     the basics: full name: daisy mia moretti | hometown: the bronx, new york | zodiac: aries | orientation: bisexual | employment status: intern on the news broadcasts floor | positive traits: social, determined, hardworking, attentive, confident, smart | negative traits: rude, irresponsible, cunning, cutthroat, insensitive, selfish
the backstory:
here’s the best way i can describe daisy: take the love for fashion and luxury of carrie bradshaw and cher horowitz, mix it with the power and intensity of olivia pope, and add in all the meanness of every single rude, b*tchy person you can think of. that’s her.
daisy was born to a huge italian family who all had odd jobs; her dad specialized in fixing the batteries on smoke detectors. her mom ran the laundromat down the street. a lot of her uncles owned car detailing businesses and she had a couple of older cousins who were janitors or low-level staff members at the local middle schools. while her family was fine with this, because hey, it paid the bills, daisy, who had always had expensive tastes from the start, turned her nose at it all.
she, unsurprisingly, became the first in her family to make it past high school. daisy did absolutely every major, resume-boosting thing while she was in school, because she learned very quickly that she liked power and being better than others. there was something she loved about coming home from school and getting to brag about her debate team win while her cousins could only nod. 
she was great at school, and she made sure everyone knew. she did mock trial, debate, sga -- she even joined the environmental club just for the clout. and then one of the people in her model un group said she should run for president one day.
it made sense. daisy likes power, she likes bossing people around and always being right, and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. she’d be a fantastic fucking president. so, naturally, after finishing college and pushing through an internship she didn’t really like just so she could have another bullet point on her resume, daisy applied for an internship at masters international. she knew she’d get the gig, obviously.
daisy loves fashion and luxury. she spends majority of her money on vintage chanel tweed matching sets to wear into the office, she has red bottoms that give her four extra inches of height, and her foundation costs over a hundred dollars. you’d think she’d want to be on the floors that deal with vogue and help organize new york fashion week, but that’s not going to get her a presidency, duh. daisy interns on the floors that handle the news broadcasts so she gets firsthand knowledge on all the shit, political or otherwise, that goes down in the country.
i would love to type more but i don’t want to hint at anything that points to her secret, so i’m going to explain a little more about daisy’s personality
she’s so, so controlling and bossy. she wants to be the absolute best at everything, and the shining star of it all. daisy’s definitely an attention hog, and she’ll bust her ass on her work to make sure she’s better than everyone else on the floor with her. 
daisy’s very picky about who she hangs out with. as a future presidential candidate, optics are very important, obviously. she only surrounds herself with people she deems to be good for her image, and she’ll gladly let you know that she thinks you’re too shitty to be around. she cares a lot about how she appears to other people, you know.
daisy is selfish and rude, and truly doesn’t care if she hurts someone’s feelings. she speaks her mind and has absolutely no filter -- which gets her into a lot of trouble, i’m sure you can imagine. 
wanted connections:
enemies: if you need a bad guy or work rival in your character’s life, i wholly volunteer miss daisy moretti as that bad guy. it’s not hard for her to make enemies when you consider her personality.
ex: please please give me an angsty ex plot filled with depth and all the details. there’s gotta’ be a reason why daisy wants to be not only the first female president, but also the first president without a spouse, after all.
hookups: listen. she has needs.
                                                            JUDE VALENTINE.                                                   pinterest: https://pin.it/1dfK9dE                                                                 the basics: full name: jude lee valentine | hometown: tuscaloosa, alabama | zodiac: gemini | orientation: heterosexual | employment status: corporate attorney for masters international | positive traits: friendly, warm, sociable, extroverted, smart, witty, energetic | negative traits: compulsive, secretive, disloyal, impulsive, ignorant, desensitized
the backstory:
picture it with me: a ranch. nice pale green shutters and a huge yard. there’s cows in this picture, too, and horses. there might even be goats. there’s a tractor by the two ford trucks, a dog sleeping on the porch, and not another house for another twenty minute drive. this is what jude valentine is used to. he’s a country boy from alabama, equipped with the southern accent and everything. yes, he has a pair of cowboy boots. yes, he brought them to new york with him. yes, he pronounces creek as ‘crick’.
jude is a very sweet boy. he was quarterback in high school, got good grades, and every sunday he went to church with his family because Bible Belt things. homeboy is named after a book in the Bible. he’s all about southern manners and hospitality, about treating people kindly and always putting others first, and he always keeps his morals in check. or, he used to.
when you’re home it’s hard to stray away from what you’re used to. the same held true for jude in college, because even though he went to u of alabama (can you hear him yelling roll tide), he was still in his home state so he felt those morals still stuck with him. but then he applied for law school and got a full ride to nyu law, and whew, the Temptation
‘cuz you see, jude was always a sweetie pie. he still is! in high school he was super popular because he was tall and cute and athletic but funny and brought extra biscuits from home to hand out in homeroom. i’m not gonna lie, he’s charming af. he’s smooth and he has good jokes. the girls loved him but the little sh*t had a purity ring.
but then he got to nyc for law school and let me tell you. alabama is not close at all to manhattan, now is it. jude was fine the first couple of weeks, just worked on his case briefs in his shoe box of a starter apartment... but the women. homeboy started sleeping around a LOT after a while. y’know wet dreamz by j cole where he’s like haven’t been inside p*ssy since i came out one? yeah, that was jude until ny, and he’s very much still like that
is jude still the sweetest, nicest guy ever? yes. is jude still the type of guy to knock on your office door and ask if you want to walk to get coffee with him even though you guys have probably never met? yes. is jude the first guy on the dance floor when there’s a midnight party on the rooftop? yes. is jude the type of guy who’ll fuck with you and say no, he only listens to music made by a spoon and a blade of grass if you think he only listens to country music? yes. but he also has slept with at least twenty different interns and employees at the office, so.
he also dabbles in the occasional little pill when he’s got eight depositions to write up before tomorrow but he was too busy screwing some chick the night before. he first did this in law school. but we don’t worry about that.
stop it, i know what you’re thinking: sabrina, come on. so he sleeps around, okay. what’s the big deal about that?
here’s the big deal: he’s engaged.
lil (i say lil but he’s 6’3” while i’m only 5’0”, so lemme stfu) cupcake jude is a cheater. he’s got a whole fiancée and yet he still sleeps with other women, and each time he’s like no, okay, that was the last time for real, but then there’s a new intern at the office and the higher ups always throw the new people at him because he knows how to make people feel comfortable, and his country accent is cute and refreshing among all the new york bs, and the whole attorney thing certainly isn’t a negative, and, well. he gets tempted. and afterwards he always tells the girl okay, please, can this stay between us.
u wouldn’t know he’s engaged either bc it’s not like he’s wearing the engagement ring, now is he
i’m staying hush on daisy’s secret but jude’s is that he’s cheating on his significant other with people in the office. is he still a nice guy? heck yeah, but also, you have to be a certain kind of messed up to keep cheating on your s/o and just not tell them. that’s a lotttt of lying you’re just comfortable with. oh, what’s that? you’re threatening to tell his fiancée that you two slept together because you think she deserves to know? well. he’d hate having to do it, but... jude’s not above knocking someone down if it means his secret stays hidden.
wanted connections:
hookups: literally i will take as many hookup plots i can get. doesn’t matter if they’re an intern or an employee; jude will sleep w them and then make them promise not to tell anyone in the office afterwards because “wE’rE nOt sUpPoSeD tO sLeEp wItH cOwOrKeRs” but we all know why he wants to keep it under wraps. this also doesn’t have to be an only connection; he can be friends w someone but also hook up w them on the low too
fiancée: this one is huge for me so pls pls message me if ur seriously interested in this plot and we’ll talk !!
friends: this one is so easy bc jude will literally make conversation with a chair. he’s super sociable and fun and approachable and he loves making friends !! give me some ppl he can pester during lunch break and throw balled up pieces of paper at
best friend: he’s gotta have that one person that he just clicks really, really well with. jude talks to everyone and he’s super friendly but this person is his confidant. he goes to them w almost all of his problems and rants to them and asks for advice and likes to just be around this person. trusts them w his entire life. hmuuuuu :)
ex: listen. we all need a good ex plot and this person is probably the only one in the office jude isn’t bringing a complimentary donut to
sister: jude has a younger sister and honestly she was gonna be a npc but the idea of him looking out for her at the office and getting all (ง•̀_•́)ง when ppl r mean to her is smth i reeeeally like. or maybe they actually don’t get along that well and bicker a lot but there’s still that underlying hey i’ve got your back. you piece of shit. type feel going on !!
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