Some snakey fluff for your Sunday.
Inspired by this tweet.
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Late night thought.
You know how when you need to put a cat down you can kinda just gentle toss them. And that sometimes people who are use to holding cats then hold a dog and forget that you can't really do the same thing for them. So they end up just throwing a dog. I would like to imagine that was what it was like for Bruce to go from having Dick as a child to Jason.
Bruce main experience with children would be this little acrobat who would just jump/flip out of his arms and honestly enjoyed the extra momentum of the toss when being put down. So that's just how he is use to releasing kids when carrying them. But then he has Jason, and is holding him and they have a cute moment, but then by instinct he throws Jason, and Jason just thumps to the ground. And both of them are staring at each other with confusion.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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The sun and the sea ☀️🌊
Anyone else wanna join me in thinking about the fact that they pulled opposite motifs ?!?? The horrors of the deep sea in contemporary/modernish time and the joy and brightness of a punk future with the power of the sun. This is so crazy to me. How do they do it !?
Anyways one reblog 1 Stamp for Gem (and pearl can avoid some uh. Well you know, fraud charges)
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i got all the achievements in this cult simulator so next step is to draw some fanart??
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Dean drunkenly bragging about being best best best friends with Cas to someone at a bar and he's like "here look I'll call him, I'll talk to him" and proceeds to call him with no answer 50 times in a row and the other person keeps trying to gently be like "maybe he's busy?" "are you sure you're actually friends? Does he know that you're friends?" "Maybe you should stop trying" And Dean is like "no no no we are we are best friends he's gonna pick up" like this is a totally normal thing that happens between all friends
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listen. this guy is the best character Pokemon’s ever introduced. his name is Larry. you have all these crazy-ass gym leaders and then there’s just just this one Normal Dude. he hasn’t slept in three days. he works a 9–5 office job and considers doing taxes fun. he wakes up and eats styrofoam on wheat toast for breakfast in the morning. he’s the only one who terastalizes his ace into a type it already has instead of a different type. his name is Larry
and then you find out that this milquetoast man
is also one of the best Pokemon battlers in Paldea
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Prompt 261
“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…”
“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…”
“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-”
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