#horses are weird to draw but i think they turned out okay

[babybinko]

My second batch of venture bros genderbends are finally done! :D [first set here]

PLEASE LOOK UNDER THE CUT!!! I made all these nice drawings and doodles of them and I want people to see them without this post being super long! :') [My thoughts on the designs and doodles will be under the cut as well]

Okay NOW I'm going talk about my thought process on some of these:

Baby Rusty: I love the baby Rusty, the frilly socks and sleeves were a must. I actually drew her with the original set of genderbends but I turned off her layer and forgot about her 💀

Jonas Jr: not much to say about her, I tried to make her like Rosie the Riveter. Her little bandana has the Venture logo on it :)

Jonas Sr: I wanted her to be a hot bitch, her outfit is maybe a little scandalous for the time era they were in but I think it fits, canon Jonas is a whore. I think everybody would want her and that every celebrity, politician, and anybody with any power would chase after her so badly.

Blue Morpho: I made her so incredibly slay. I fucking love her outfit, I found the inspo for the outfit on Pinterest but I changed it up a bit. Also her gun has the bayonetta butterfly wings on it as a charm because I HAD TO.

Colonel Gentleman: Not a lot to say, I wanted to give her like horse riding esque boots and I gave her a purple flower cause she likes the ladies. I know generally WLW flowers are Violets and Lavender but I wanted to draw a rose so, Purple rose compromise <3

Dr.Boyfriend 2: With my last round Dr.Boyfriend was the only one people had complaints with. I think people wished he was more Masculine and I agree but if I switched up the design too much it wouldn't look like Dr.Girlfriend. I hope giving him armor and making him look like a knight helped him look more masc. I made the sheer wings cross over his chest to make it look like it was holding up the shoulder armor. Also his guild book is insanely high quality because I was procrastinating drawing his armor.

Goofy and Goober (Watch and Ward): I think they ended up really cute, I tried to make their hair colors close to Doc and Jacksons since I heard they are supposed to be like their "main" self inserts. With Ward I had a really specific idea for her hair, I kept thinking about this haircut from my sims and had to do it. It might be hard to see but her ponytail holders have skull charms on them. I also purposely gave them both some sort of ponytail hairstyle so they would match but be slightly different :) (They are absolutely prank calling or trolling their clients on that phone btw)

Shoreleave: OH MY GOD I LOVE SHORELEAVE. I kept turning her folder back on just to keep looking at her when I was drawing the other characters. She is so captivating to me, she looks so soft and human. I want to take a bite out of her thigh. My biggest inspo for her was Cammy from Street Fighter, I felt like her dressing a bit skimpy works for her since canon Shoreleave kinda does. The girls out for the girls.

Alchemist: I love her design so much too. I wanted her to look like some kind of nun or priestess. She looks like if a Zelda fire temple was a person. I kinda gave her like a weird little hime cut under the hood. Also I put the Triad logo on all three of their designs (+ Triana).

Jefferson: Had a lot of fun with her, I didnt change her design much from canon though so there's not much to say. I did give her more flared pants though. Drawing her hair was a really fun change of pace, I very rarely get to draw textured hair.

College Rusty and Monarch Drawing: I love this one, Monarch turned out so hot dude. You can tell what character I like more LMFAO. I made rusty very obnoxious 80s while keeping the colors of the original college rusty outfit. Monarch kind of looks like postal dude but its fine because shes slay.

Hereditary Venture Family Dinner Drawing: This was one of the first drawings I started but the second to last one I finished. I wanted to draw the family doing something together but I think I really truly just wanted to draw Dermott again. 😭 Nobody has said anything if they noticed but I did give hatred the shirt from these edits. (I believe the one on the left is from reddit and the one on the right is by SquashFold on Twitter)

Dermott piercing Dean's ears drawing: Even though its messy its in the top 3 favorites I did, It was also the last one I did. I just love the idea of Dermott giving goth Dean at home ear piercings. At first I didn't know if I wanted to make Dermott giving her piercings at the mall where she works or at home but the mall idea was too much work for a last minute sketch. Dermott is so mean older sister who shoplifts and works at the mall.

Drug bathroom drawing: Another one of my favorites, its based off a specific deleted scene from Invisible Hand of Fate where Pete and Rusty talk at the bar but Pete comes out of the bathroom sniffling at the start. I love the way I drew Pete pushing the hair out of her face and both of their expressions.

Bdsm 21 drawing: Okay first of all, The little devil Monarch was so cute I was screaming, crying, and throwing up while drawing her. I fucking love her, shes the smallest part of the image but my favorite. I also am quite fond of the bdsm 21.

Quizgirls Pete and Billy: I tried looking up Vanna White dresses to base Pete's outfit off of but I couldn't find one that Pete would actually wear so I just had to make shit up. Billy's design is really basic but the bow in her hair is actually from one of my rejected main Billy genderbends.

Me and The Bestie: I put a lot of effort into this one for no reason. Literally the moment I saw Jonas in the problem machine I thought he should be made of like blue slime. When I was working on this I kept thinking about Momopatchi's Hatsune Microbe drawing so this Jonas was definitely inspired by that. I gave Jonas makeup because she was having a party movie night on gargantua and I felt like she would still have makeup on thats like completely fucked up and deteriorating on her face after many many years. Vendata's outfit was partially based on Marguerite Chapman's from Flight to Mars, never seen it but I was looking up old sci-fi movie costumes to work with and I thought it would look good :)

#venture bros #the venture bros #my art #rusty venture #jonas venture sr #blue morpho #jefferson twilight #alchemist venture bros #colonel gentleman #shoreleave #jonas venture jr #dr.gf #dr. girlfriend #dr mrs the monarch #watch and ward #watch and ward venture bros #the monarch #henchman 21 #gary fischer #pete white venture bros #pete white #billy quizboy #dr girlfriend #vbros #billy whalen #vendata #dermott venture bros #dermott fictel #genderbend #genderswap

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 6

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness.

Part 6

"Mommy, you should kiss Joel."

You nearly dropped the laundry you were hanging outside when you heard what your toddler said. You looked at your son in shock.

"Where did that idea come from, honey?"

Teddy sighed and said, "Because Joel is sad and you always give me a kiss when I'm sad and that helps."

"Oh" was all you could say.

Joel had actually been sadder for the past few days. He was even more reticent and didn't even react to Ellie's taunts. You didn't know if it was because of your talk about forgiveness or the fact that Maria and Tommy were expecting a baby. Well, You thought that was good news, but did Joel was jealous? He had Teddy, after all. He got a second chance.

"Mommy."

You heard your son's impatient voice and realized that "Oh" wasn't considered a sufficient answer. You knelt down next to him and said, "I'm afraid it doesn't work on adults as it does on children. I think Joel might feel weird if I kissed him."

Teddy frowned. "Then hug him... You hugging Aunt Claudia when she's sad."

"You hugging him, and that's better than my hug."

Your son made a sad face, and you felt like you let him down. In his childhood mind, sometimes everything was so simple and you envied him that.

"You know what helps me when I'm sad?" The little boy looked at you curiously. "When you give me drawings and flowers. Maybe after I finish work at the stables, we can go to the meadow so you can pick flowers for Joel?"

"Okay, but if that doesn't help, promise me you'll hug him."

You sighed heavily and nodded your head.

At the stables, you were still thinking about what Teddy said. Maybe you should talk to Joel? He didn't really have anyone in Jackson except Tommy, Ellie, and Teddy... And you. He still had a strained relationship with his brother, and the children were hardly suitable for serious conversations. So everything was on you. And your two relationship has improved. When you saw him, you didn't just think about how badly he hurt you, but how he changed for the better.

You stopped brushing Jupiter for a moment and looked back to see your son, who was throwing straw into an empty stall. In fact, he lost most of the straw along the way, but he looked so cute. He wanted to help you, like his dad.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't notice that you were approaching to place where another horse had bitten Jupiter. The wound still hurt him, and though he was a nice horse, he reacted to pain like any other animal. He whinnied loudly and jumped up sharply. You managed to dodge the kick, but you staggered and stumbled. You hit your head on the post that was between the horse's boxes. It got dark before your eyes and the last thing you remember was your son's frightened scream.

*

Teddy knew he had to call for help. He ran out of the stable and began to run as fast as his little legs would allow him. However, he passed several people and did not stop. Even when someone tried to stop him. In his mind, only one person could save you.

"Joel!" he shouted as he saw a familiar figure.

Joel was just walking with Ellie to the dining room when he heard his son scream. He immediately turned around and knelt down to catch the kid who practically ran into him. He immediately noticed that the little boy was terrified.

"Teddy, what happened?"

He gently grabbed his shoulders and started looking for any injuries, but the baby boy seemed to be fine. Teddy struggled to catch his breath, tears streaming down his face.

"Mama," he finally choked out.

Joel was immediately overwhelmed by a wave of terror.

"What about mom?" He asked.

The boy barely spoke. "Ho… Horse... Kick" he said between sobs.

Joel didn't need any more. He looked at Ellie, who seemed as scared as Teddy.

"Stay with him. I'm running to her."

The girl nodded and grabbed the boy's hand as Joel ran to the stables.

*

When you woke up you felt a terrible headache. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurred, but only one thing mattered to you. Your son.

"Teddy," you croaked.

You got up with difficulty. You felt like a newborn foal that couldn't catch its balance. You slowly took a step by step, sticking to the wall. As you were about to leave, Joel suddenly ran up to you. He grabbed your sides and held you tight.

"Y/N, what happened?"

You heard the worry in his voice.

"Jupiter got angry... I jumped back, but I think I hit my head on something hard... Where's Teddy?"

Joel stroked your cheek, then ran his hand over the back of your head and was relieved to see that there was no blood on his fingers.

"Teddy is with Ellie. He's fine. He's just scared."

As soon as you heard that, you felt your strength leave you. You stayed on your feet only because fear for your son was your motivation. Joel immediately lifted you up and said, "Okay. You need medical attention."

"No" you moaned and rested your head against his chest. "Just not Anderson."

Joel sighed. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Take me home and call Wanda. She used to be a nurse."

"Okay," he whispered and brushed his lips against your forehead, and you just closed your eyes.

*

An hour later you were in bed and listening to Wanda's instructions. Teddy was cuddling up to your side. He had stopped crying but was still very scared. Ellie was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you with worried eyes. Joel stood next to Wanda and carefully listened to her.

"It's definitely a concussion. She should not move. Let her sleep a lot, rest, and drink plenty of water. Someone should stay with her overnight. If she starts vomiting, she may choke."

"I'm not going to vomit," you muttered. You were slightly annoyed that the woman was talking like you weren't in the room.

Joel just gave you an indulgent look and replied, "I'll keep an eye on her.”

When Wanda left, he came closer to you and stroked his son's head.

"Hey, 'bear cub', mum will be fine. Why don't you and Ellie go to the meadow and collect flowers for mommy?"

Teddy looked at you with those puppy eyes he inherited from his father.

"Will this help you, mommy?"

You nodded your head and he immediately jumped off the bed and grabbed Ellie's hand pulling her towards the exit. Joel was still staring at you.

"What?" you asked.

He bit his lip and muttered, "I was worried about you, I'm still worried about you... I don't know what I would do if something happened to you..."

You were surprised by his confession. You might even hug him if it weren't for the constant dizziness.

"I'll be fine and you don't have to do all this for me."

Joel stepped closer, knelt by the bed, and grabbed your hand.

"I'll take care of you and Teddy. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better."

You smiled slightly and nodded your head.

In the evening you were really surprised how well Joel handled the baby. You thought your boy would be very cranky after a day like this... And he was, but Joel made it. After he put his son to bed, he came back to you and sat in the armchair to watch you all night.

It was weird and embarrassing for you at first. You thought you wouldn't be able to fall asleep next to him, but his presence began to soothe you and you fell asleep.

*

Joel stretched out in an armchair and tilted his head back. He yawned and closed his eyes. He thought that nothing would happen if he took a nap for a while. Your sleep seemed restful. Before he could fall asleep he heard the patter of small feet and after a while, he felt Teddy climb into his lap. He opened his eyes and smiled softly.

"Hi, 'bear cub'."

The baby boy glanced towards the bed: "Mummy still sleeping?"

Joel combed the boy's curls. "It's night. She should sleep. Just like you."

The little one shook his head and looked at him, and despite the dim light, Joel could see traces of tears on the baby's cheeks.

"You were crying, baby. What happened?"

He pulled the boy to his chest and hugged him tightly.

"Will mommy die?"

Joel replied immediately. "No, 'bear cub'. Of course not. She'll be fine. That's why I'm here to make sure everything is okay."

Teddy nodded and murmured, "Tell me a story."

Joel frowned. "We have to go get the book."

"No," the little one moaned. "Your story."

"Oh. All right." He thought for a moment. "I'll tell you about the Boston Angel."

"That angel was pretty?"

Joel smiled and nodded. "It was basically she, and she was the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. She was also sweet and kind. Even though Boston wasn't a pretty place, she was always able to find something beautiful and show it to the children. She bent down to tie a little girl's shoes and gave food to the homeless dog, and she always smiled."

"And did she bake cookies like Mommy?"

"Yes. She was the perfect Angel, but she met the bad man." Joel sighed heavily. He didn't know why he made up this story about you two. He felt the little boy tugging at his shirt.

"And what did the bad man do?"

"He broke the angel's wings and made the angel sad."

"But why did he do it?"

"Because he forgot how to love and only remembered that losing someone you love hurts a lot. So instead of loving an angel, he preferred to hurt her." He stroked Teddy's curls. "But the angel managed to escape Boston, and then her wings grew back and became even more beautiful and stronger. So strong that they could carry her wherever she wanted."

Teddy yawned and asked, "And the bad man? Has he changed?"

Joel didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected such a question. He swallowed and replied, "He's tried hard to change and... I hope one day he'll be good and the Angel will see it."

You felt tears running down your cheeks. You woke up as soon as you heard your son's voice, but you were still tired and did not react. You knew Joel would take care of the boy. So you heard the whole story about Angel and you couldn't believe it. Joel thought you were asleep, so he didn't say all that just to win your favor.

There was silence and you guessed that Teddy had fallen asleep. You went back to sleep too.

*

Joel slowly got to his feet, holding gently the sleeping boy, but something was bothering him. The baby's body was too warm. He kissed the boy's forehead and wondered if you had a thermometer somewhere in the house. He gently placed the baby on the bed and carefully covered him with a blanket. He didn't even get out of the room before he heard a plaintive whine, "Joo."

He quickly returned to the baby and began to calm him down. "Shhh, I'll be right back."

The little one stretched out his arms towards him with another pitiful moan and began to cry. Joel sighed and took the boy in his arms, wrapping him in a blanket.

"It's okay 'bear cub'. Do you know where mom keeps the thermometer and medicine?"

The little one sobbed and pressed his face against dads shoulder, muttering, "Not sick."

Joel rolled his eyes. He realized that he had to fend for himself. And so he held the baby with one hand and searched the kitchen cupboards with the other. He found a thermometer, bandages, a hot water bottle, and medicines that he knew were not for children. He took the boy back to the room and took his temperature. He had a fever.

"Teddy, does your tummy hurt?"

"No," the boy moaned.

"And here?" he asked and touched the boy's chest.

"Only the head."

Joel frowned. He stroked the boy's back and said, "Stay here a minute. I'll check on mommy."

"NO!"

Teddy started crying and Joel panicked. He didn't want you to wake up. He quickly lifted his son and began to gently rock him in his arms and place kisses on his wet, hot cheeks.

"Shhh, shhh, 'bear cub', it's okay. We'll go to mom together, but you have to promise me you'll be quiet. Okay?"

The little one whined and nodded his head. Joel breathed a sigh of relief, though he knew he had a rough night ahead of him.

He carefully looked at you and was relieved to see that you were still asleep. By this time, the boy had already fallen asleep and Joel was able to put him to bed.

And so for the next hour, Joel wandered between your room and Teddy's room. Unfortunately, the boy woke up again and started crying.

"I want water," he sobbed.

"I'll bring you."

"Do not go!"

Joel sighed heavily and took the boy in his arms. The boy immediately clung to his body tightly. "We will go together."

Unfortunately, the boy was very moody. When he saw the blue cup of water, he wailed loudly and Joel started to panic. He didn't know what had happened and tried to calm him down.

"It's okay... Shhh, tell me what happened? Teddy, baby, 'bear cub'..."

And as if he didn't have enough problems, You walked into the kitchen. You heard your son cry and your maternal instinct was stronger than your dizziness. You staggered into the doorway and grabbed the doorframe with difficulty.

"Y/N" Joel gasped and immediately started walking towards you.

He wrapped his free arm tightly around your waist while the other still held Teddy, who was crying in his ear. Joel led you to a chair and carefully sat you down. He started rocking your son and you looked at the blue mug on the table and said, "He doesn't like that color. You have to give him a red one."

Joel breathed a sigh of relief and quickly grabbed the red cup. Teddy finally calmed down, drank some water, and fell asleep in dad's arms, but his behavior made you uneasy. You knew that such trivial things as the color of the mug only made him cry when he was ill.

"Joel, does he have a fever?"

The man reluctantly nodded. He didn't want to worry you, but he couldn't lie to you.

"He has a fever and a headache, but otherwise he's fine. He doesn't cough, he doesn't have a runny nose. I've been looking for some medicine for him, but I haven't found anything."

You sighed heavily. "They're over. I was going to go to Anderson's, but... You know."

"I know. If he's not better by morning, I'll go with him to that asshole."

You looked at him scared. "No... I can't do it."

He came closer to you. "Hey, I said I'll go. You will stay. Everything will be fine. I'll take care of everything and now I'll put the little one to bed and come back for you."

"Put him in my bed. I want him close and try to put cold compresses on him to bring down the fever."

Joel nodded and did as you said. He put Teddy in your bed and then came back for you. He wrapped his arms around you to take all your weight. Once you were in bed, he returned to the kitchen and fetched a bowl of cold water and a small kitchen towel. You watched as he knelt by the bed and gently touched Teddy's forehead.

"You have to change the water in a while."

"I know," he said and smiled slightly at you. "Don't worry. I'll be here all the time."

You sighed and closed your eyes. You carefully cuddled up to your little one and hoped that the baby boy would recover by the morning.

Unfortunately, Teddy still had a fever in the morning, like you, he didn't like the idea of visiting Anderson. He cuddled up to you and looked at Joel like he were a traitor. The man reached out to him, but the toddler consistently ignored him.

"Come on, 'bear cub', everything will be fine."

Ellie, who had already come to you, also tried to help. "Teddy, the doctor will just examine you. I and Joel will be with you."

You knew you had to intervene. You gently pushed him away from you and kissed his nose. "Honey, you know Joel will always protect you. Go with them. Mommy needs to stay in bed."

The little boy finally nodded and let Joel take him in his arms.

"Bunny" he sadly whined.

Joel kissed him on the head. "We're going to get your bunny."

After they left, you looked at the teenage girl. "Ellie, make sure he doesn't do something stupid. And I'm not talking about Teddy.”

The girl shrugged. "Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

You fell back on the pillows and closed your eyes. Your head was still spinning and you knew you had to rely on Joel.

*

The atmosphere in Anderson's office was so thick that could have cut it with a knife. The two men stared at each other with pure hatred. Eventually, Ellie intervened. She grunted loudly and muttered, "I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend all day here."

The doctor snorted. "Put him on the table. I'll listen to his lungs."

Teddy immediately moaned plaintively as he was separated from his dad's body. Joel looked at him sympathetically. He kissed his forehead and whispered, "It will only take a moment."

Teddy hugged the stuffed bunny tightly to him. Anderson looked at the little boy irritably and hissed, "Should I examine him or the stuffed animal?"

Joel clenched his jaw. He felt his head start to ache. He'd had a really rough night and was losing his patience with this prick. He carefully took the toy out of his son's hands and tenderly said, "Ellie will take care of your bunny for a while."

Tears welled up in Teddy's eyes, but he nodded and watched as Ellie gently hugged his toy. Meanwhile, Anderson, without any warning, pulled the boy's T-shirt up and held the cold stethoscope to the child's body. Teddy squeaked and jumped. Only Joel's quick reaction saved him from falling off the table.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

Anderson shrugged. "It's not my fault he's as weak as his mother."

And that was enough. Joel handed the boy into Ellie's arms and gently pushed her towards the door. "Wait with him in the corridor."

Ellie nodded her head. She herself was furious with this asshole.

As she disappeared through the door, Anderson hissed, "What, are you going to break my nose again?"

Joel smiled in a way that made Anderson uneasy and he took a step back. Joel pulled a knife from his belt and lunged for the doctor. He pushed him into the chair and with one hand squeezed his throat so that the man couldn't scream.

"No, I'll do something much worse to you," he growled from the back of his throat. "Now listen to me carefully. You will treat my son as your most valuable patient."

Anderson's eyes widened in shock. "Teddy, this is your..."

Joel laughed. "Yeah, and you'd better think it over." He slid the knife into the doctor's crotch. "You have body parts that are not needed. Without them, you'll still be useful."

Anderson swallowed and nodded. "I will be gentle..." he squeaked.

Joel nodded. "All right."

He opened the door and took the boy in his arms. He smiled and kissed him on the head. "Come 'bear cub', Mr. Anderson will be very nice now and apologize to you for hurting you."

He looked at the doctor suggestively, and the man nodded. "I'm sorry Teddy." He started heating the stethoscope and said, "He can stay in your arms while I examine him."

The rest of the examination went smoothly and Anderson was kind and gentle. When he had finished, he said, "Everything seems fine. Did something stress him out?"

Joel frowned. He wasn't sure if Anderson didn't know about your accident or if he was pretending. "Yes. He had a lot of stress yesterday."

The doctor nodded. "This fever, it could be a stress reaction or a mild cold. I'll give you pills, for him. Give him half now, half tonight, and half tomorrow morning. The fever should go down."

*

When they got home, Joel told you how the doctor's visit went. Of course, he skipped the part about the knife threat but you guessed something had happened when your son said, "Mr. Anderson was a bit rude, but then Ellie and I left and when we came back, he was already nice."

You looked suggestively at Joel, and he tried to avoid your gaze at all costs. Then you shot a disappointed look at Ellie. "You were supposed to keep an eye on him."

Ellie shrugged. "This as..." Joel grunted significantly. "This fool, he deserved it."

You shook your head and hugged your son as he began to fall asleep. You didn't really care what Joel did. All that mattered was that he got Teddy's medicine.

*

After three days, you finally felt fine. You weren't dizzy anymore and you didn't lose your balance. Your son's fever has also stopped. It was evening when you got up and decided to eat something. There was an unusual silence in the house. It was still early, but Teddy was already asleep, tired from the impressions of the last few days. But where was Joel? He took care of you all the time and you were impressed with how well he handled everything.

You walked into the living room and saw him sleeping on your couch. He looked so peaceful and you didn't have the heart to be mad at him for falling asleep in your house. You guessed he was dead tired after two nights of watching over you and Teddy. Plus, you knew your sweet little son turned into a little monster when he was sick. One minute he wanted juice, the next he was spitting it out and crying that he didn't want juice. And maybe he got it from you. Well, maybe, just maybe, you had Joel bring you a glass of cold water, and after five minutes you decided it was too cold and asked him for hot tea. And he, without whining, without a grimace on his face, obediently went to the kitchen. So yes, he had a right to be tired. You grabbed a blanket from the armchair and gently covered him. Then you crouched down at his face and felt that old sentiment. Joel's hair always looked as soft and fluffy, as your son's. Made to be combed with your fingers. And before you could stop yourself, your fingers had already sunk into his gray curls.

Joel blinked his eyes and you quickly pulled your hand away. He looked at you and started to move, but he was very clumsy.

"Sorry... I'll be up in a minute," he mumbled.

You shook your head, put your hand on his shoulder, and said, "You deserve to rest, sleep."

You saw how tired he was and that he was still half asleep, so when he spoke you weren't sure if he was aware of it.

"I wish I could have looked after you while you were pregnant."

You sighed heavily and understood. That's why he was sad. He wasn't jealous at all that Maria was pregnant. He was sorry because it reminded him of what he had lost and made him feel guilty.

"You're taking care of us now. That's enough," you whispered.

You ran your hand through his hair again and he closed his eyes and purred like a cat. A slight smile appeared on his face, and you thought maybe your son was right. Your touch really made Joel stop being sad.

A/N: Okay, so yeah, I messed up the timelines about Maria's pregnancy. I just forgot to mention it before, and it suited me perfectly here. Doctor Google told me that children can have fevers because of stress.

Part V

Part VII

Taglist:   @ajeff855​​, @anislabonis-love​​,  @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi​​,    @i-workwithpens​​, @milla-frenchy​​,  @quality-lust    @liatome​​  @sarahhxx03 @creedslove​​ @jojo-munson​​ @pascalislove​​ @sofiparallel  @goldenhxurs​​     @elliaze​​      @aestheticangel612​​  @cheyxfu​​  @orcasoul​​  @misshoneypaper​​  @prestinalove​​​  @yourusername1 @stevengmybeloved​​

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller and you #joel and ellie #ellie williams #joel is daddy #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #angst #hurt/comfort #little fluff #unforgivable mistake

[wasyago]

okay don't mind me just gonna ramble for a second haha-

(this was originally going to be under the drawing, but it got too long, and i can't add it in a reblog because both things are on queue, so separate post it is)

i just love how every time i start a drawing im like "well alright, just a quick sketch yea? no color, maybe some gray to white gradient and that's it, okay?". and then i start drawing (and obviously it takes longer than i thought because duh) and i go "okay but- i gotta at least do the flat colors, right? just the flats- maybe even some random colors to not spend too much time on it--". and then. of course. i do the flats, and im pretty happy with the result yeah? looks simple but not too simple, like it has some color some personality to it, but its not over the top so. so, i leave the drawing i go to get some water and start on an actual piece, and when i come back and take a look at what i drew its like, "well. listen. listen-- yeah im still pretty happy with how it looks but, but. it could be a little better, yea?" and then i sit down, put my water down, put my other drawing to the side, and i sit there making this quick sketch look better. "oh i don't like the colors anymore! but its all on one layer now so i can't exactly change them, plus i still like the idea, so maybe some filters? yeaj some filters on top will do!" (and of course its a yellow shade filter, because im original like that and 90% of my drawings don't also have it on). and then i add them filters and i think" well maybe some bounce light now? surely it already looks better with the filter but its kinda flat, and i want to bring *a little bit* of the original color in" so i add the bounce light, but now it looks out of place! shocker! so i decide that surely i can maybe add some grass at the bottom to hide the edge of the drawing a little. and well, alright, grass looks good, but its too dark, brings a lot of attention to it! and i can't exactly make it lighter, so, the logical choice would be to make the characters darker too, bring some contrast into the thing! and lets just do all the values while we're at it, why not! patterns to the horse, make the pants and skin darker, yes yes. and, oh- but now the eyes are lost because there's more dark hues! gotta make a new layer on top and make them eyes a little bit darker, maybe also color the bandana red and not brown so it looks special, hm? oh and! while we're on this top layer, lets also fix up the hair a little, maybe add some blush... oh and the straps of the saddle look weird, gotta fix those too! oh man and not that i look at it-- the head is too big! lets merge all the layers together and start that same thing over again! yes yes make the head a little smaller, yeah looks much better now! oh, better add some fading as well, to make it fit in the background a little, oh and some glow, suuure sure, and some lights in the eyes, and-

(and now that im looking at it, i realize that i somehow didn't save the final version????? like, i did a lot more to the thing, fixed up the saddle and that awkward shade oh his knee, and the grass-- i wont fix it now because NOW im too lazy to do it for some reason, but yeah, a bit unfortunate u_u)

anyways, point being, love art, art is pog, wish i cared a little less about it sometimes, but it also turnes this into this (imagine me pointing at the drawings as i say that, overly dramatic and sounding a little annoyed with myself)

#yagotalk #my art #sketch #wooo yeah woo yeah art

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #12

Satan: Do you ever get the urge to clean your entire room and then 5 minutes after you start you’re like nah son and you just lay on the floor

•

MC: I get bloody noses a lot and I can usually feel it about 30 seconds before it starts dripping. Today in class my nose started to bleed but right before I turned to this very religious boy who sits next to me and whispered “hail Satan” as my nose started to drip. He freaked and fell back and hit his head. He had to go home for the rest of the day.

Satan: You’re amazing

Lucifer: Well done

•

Leviathan: If corals get stressed they die so if I was a coral I would be dead

Mammon: What do coral even get stressed about?

Barbatos: Current events

Leviathan: Get out.

•

Belphegor: What if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when you touch them?

Solomon: How stoned are you right now?

Satan: Was that a fucking pun?

•

Beelzebub: I was waiting on the pizza delivery guy to call me to say my pizza is here and when my phone rang I accidentally answered with “pizza?” instead of hello and he replied “yes this is pizza.”

•

Mammon: What is a baby worm called?

Lucifer: There is no term for a baby worm. It is just called a worm.

Diavolo: This makes me sad, I’m calling them squigglets

•

Mammon: My younger brother was trying to express that someone died with his very limited vocabulary and what he finally said was “his ghost fell out.”

It’s been fucking me up all week

•

Mammon: When you feel your clothes fresh out of the oven

Mammon: OKAY SO I REALIZED I USED OVEN INSTED OF DISHWASHER BUT I KINDA FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND USED THE NEXT BEST GUESS I COULD THINK OF

Beelzebub: dishwasher

Belphegor: Washing machine.

You’re referring to a washing machine

Asmodeus: Pretty sure they meant a dryer

•

MC: Why don’t humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees let’s leave immediately” why are elephants more advanced than us

Solomon: We do have a specific noise, it sounds like this:

“there are bees let’s leave immediately”

•

Mammon: Please don’t touch my thigh my dick will rise like Apollo 13

MC: But Apollo 13 exploded

Solomon: That’s the goal

•

Satan: Windows 8 can suck my dick

Simeon: I can’t believe how far technology has come

•

Asmodeus: I don’t understand why people use Gaylord as an insult. Maybe I want to be lord of the gays. Bow down to me.

•

Mammon: You just jealous of me that I fuck 20 x more girls than you

Leviathan: 20 x 0 = 0

Simeon: He sank the boat he was working on just to kill the captain

•

Belphegor: Why isn’t eleven pronounced onety-one

Thirteen: I’M LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF 22 AND I SAID “TOOTY TWO” OUT LOUD AT 4AM OH GOD

Luke: Threety Three

Mammon: Fourty four

Mammon: I have realized my mistake

•

Simeon: Right now a baby is being born

Right now someone clogged the toilet and is running out of the bathroom as fast as they can

Life goes on

Solomon: Hopefully this is not the same person

•

Satan: I just walked past two of my brothers in the living room and one of them said “I don’t think they’re right-handed or left-handed, they’re just dogs.”

•

Solomon: Crystals for banishing someone: any of them if you throw them hard enough

•

Beelzebub: I think now that we’re in the 21st century we can stop villainizing the witch from Hansel and Gretel. Some kids ate her house. She gets to eat them. It was a fair deal.

•

MC: When I was a child my cat died and the only way I could rationalize it was drawing her being crucified because I went to catholic school and I thought that just happened to everyone when they died

Raphael: I can’t comment on this just fucking look at it

•

Leviathan: It’s weird to think horses were ever ‘prey animals’ because what fucking predator looks at a 8 foot tall ENORMOUS beast with pitch black devils eyes, terrifying teeth and extremely powerful legs and thinks ‘yeah let’s go attack that one’

Satan: Well moose are still prey animals so

Asmodeus: That’s fucked up, a moose is like a horse with extra weapons

Michael: Would you rather they be predators

Mammon: SHIT SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY

#obey me as tumblr #funny obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me simeon #obey me diavolo #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me solomon #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #obey me thirteen

[positivelybeastly]

Tell me why Simon’s upcoming marvel verse tpb (releasing between xforce 49 and 50) decided to highlight that issue (the one where Hank kisses Simon) out of all the possible issues that actually like. Are meaningful for him as a character and his supporting cast not just the one where he gets gay kissed by a guy who proceedes to dress up in his clothes, his girlfriend wonders if she would be better off getting back with his brother, and the guy who kissed him calls him a chickenplucker before he dips. Like it’s not really an important Simon issue, probably not even the best Hank/simon friendship issue but it kind of feels like they’re saying getting gay kissed by Hank is at least the fourth most important thing ever to happen to Simon, possibly more so than the whole evil and robot brothers thing

I do not understand I feel like the goof kiss is something that can very easily be interpreted as homophobic since essentially it’s saying “what if two men kissed would that be wacky or what”. Why would you bring that up again. Unless…? (Bi Hank real?)

"C'maaaaaan, you aren't still dwelling on that ol' gag, are you? It was for fun! You don't think Bugs Bunny has feelings for other fellas, do you? Just a little harmless horsing around, between two old buddies who hadn't seen each other in a while, on account of one of them being dead! We all get a little excited when that happens, don't we?

. . . Okay, so maybe that doesn't happen to you guys so often, but when it happens here, that's a - very common reaction. Nothing gay about it. And it's not like there's anything wrong with being gay, or bi, or any of that, either! I'm just not. Capiche?"

So, this is one of those things where it's like - I'm 99% certain this is just a weird coincidence, or that this was picked by a staffer with a sense of humour, or something, BUT.

There's the 1%.

There's the one 1% that has to check, and, hey, what happens if you Google Wonder Man Beast?

NOW.

I WILLL ADMIT THAT PERHAPS THERE IS SOME SEARCH ENGINE SKEWING GOING ON.

BUT.

THAT IS FAN ART OF GAY HANK AND SIMON ON ROW ONE, PEOPLE.

The cover for the issue with the kiss is row two!

The kiss itself is row three!

Like, full disclosure, I have absolutely Googled 'Wonder Man Beast kiss before', to get the panel to talk about my thoughts on Hank's sexuality before, so maybe there's some stuff going on, but, friends, Google 'Wonder Man Beast' and tell me what YOU see, because I am curious.

But for real, let's talk about this TPB.

Read this product description.

"Learn more about Wonder Man, the energy-powered Avenger who doubles as a movie star, before and after the release of the Disney+ series!

Few heroes in the Marvel-Verse are more wondrous than Wonder Man and none is a bigger draw at the box office! Get to know Simon Williams, the world’s greatest Avenger-turned-movie star, beginning with his momentous debut - in which he is gifted amazing power, but must defeat Earth’s Mightiest Heroes in exchange! Will he go bad, or make a heroic sacrifice? Don’t count Wonder Man out just yet!

Soon he’s back, breaking into Hollywood and tussling with heavyweights like the Sandman and the Abomination! But who needs enemies when you can have a best friend like Hank McCoy, the bouncing, blue-furred Beast? Prepare to discover why Simon and Hank are the greatest double act in Avengers history!"

I should remind you, this is not the Beast and Wonder Man book, that is a SEPARATE collection. A separate collection with art that has been HALVED to make THIS collection's cover, I know that Nick Bradshaw art anywhere.

But let's also talk about the issue selection!

"Avengers (1963) #9" - makes sense! His very first appearance, his villain turn, his death. You HAVE to include the origin issue, it's the law. 5/5, perfect choice if you want to know what Simon is.

"Wonder Man (1986) #1" - first issue of his first solo series! Absolutely makes sense, fun little one-off thing that shows how Simon is adjusting after his hero turn, shows off his personality, self-contained, beautiful. 5/5, excellent choice.

"West Coast Avengers (1985) #25" - fun little story showing off his movie career and his up and down relationship with fame! And it doesn't rely too much on other continuity, you can just pick it up and go and have fun, even if the other Avengers parts might confuse you a bit. 4/5, good choice, a bit of a deep cut.

"Avengers (1998) #14" - awright, let's pull this one up and have a look. What is this issue actually about?

Our cover.

Hmm. Well, they seem like good friends!

Aw, cute! I love when comics break the fourth wall like this, I wonder what they have in store for us.

Oh! A . . . two page spread of, Hank . . . shouting, "Hi honey, I'm home!"

Looking a little demented, there, Hank, you okay?

. . . Hank? You . . . okay there?

. . . Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

You - got him flowers, Hank?

H-Hank, you're . . . wearing, Simon's, old . . . safari jacket . . ?

So, there IS some Simon only stuff in here, which is good, and catches you up on some of the events of his other solo series, which is good! This is good Simon content! Okay, cool!

O-Oh.

Chickenplucker?

FUCKING WHAT.

Okay, we need to check another website, there's NO WAY.

THAT is the issue you chose?

THAT ONE?

Not A+X #12?

No, wait, shit, we're trying to beat the allegations.

Um. Um. What about, what about that one Avengers Annual?

SHIT, ABORT, ABORT.

Uncanny Avengers #28! That's good, wholesome fun, right?

FUCK. FUCK, FUCK ME, GODDAMN IT.

What about - what about Wonder Man vol. 2 #6? That's safe, right?

And at this point, the poor Marvel staffer gave up and said, FUCK IT, THE GAY KISS IS LESS GAY THAN THE REST OF THIS SHIT.

Like, come the fuck on, now.

But no, that's the reason why that issue is in there.

Because it's somehow less gay than every other interaction they've had.

I have no idea if it's intentional, but how has every single writer since 1981 managed to write these two like tender hearted lovers? Why does Simon at his most asshole in Wonder Man vol. 2 act like Hank is his personal damsel in distress and smile more at him than he does his girlfriends? It's not impossible to write male friendships in a non-gay way, it really isn't, and yet.

You keep.

Managing.

To make it like this.

Hank McCoy is bisexual and in love with Simon Williams. Whether he, or the writers, have realised it, THAT is the story they have managed to tell. Maybe one day they'll catch up.

Maybe one day soon, if they're smart.

#Anonymous #verse: earth's mightiest! #outofmuffins

[smolghostbot]

GT July: Banter

In which I write for a prompt named "Banter" when only one of the characters can speak. :P (I think I pulled it off)

Story takes place well into the future after they're a Something. Technically Melody SHOULD be using Patch's actual name when being serious as they can properly communicate by now, but we're ignoring that for sake of Mystery(tm)

Word Count: 600 Character bios in my pinned post Worst CW I can think of is mocking a physical attribute (ears), but through a lighthearted, joking, and fantasy lens. When I'm scraping that hard for warnings, you know it is fluffytime.

========

It was a lazy Wednesday, one of Mel's days off work, and Patch was relaxing on the couch with her. The sprite was practicing drawing what they saw on the TV as they watched a nature documentary. Mel was lying upside-down on the couch, her long legs up against the wall and her head on the seat right next to Patch as she read a book, the cover of which had some generic knights riding on horses. Patch wasn't quite able to make out the name considering the book was upside-down, and their Human Script was still a bit rusty.

"Boop."

Don't do anything, don't say anything, she just wants to get a rise out of me… Patch thought to themself, as their ear twitched in response to Melody's poke. It was a completely involuntary reflex which always made Melody coo and giggle, as she found it to be the cutest thing ever.

"hmmm… boop!"

Okay she gets one more and then she's dead.

"hmmmmm……"

Patch braced themself for it. They could feel the ear boop happening any second… but there wasn't one.

"Hehe… tricked ya!" the human exclaimed, giggling again. Patch stood up and turned around, only to immediately have their ear poked. "Boop!".

Patch immediately started "angrily" stomping their feet, fists clenched as they looked at their human companion. This was half genuine, but was also an indicator to Melody that they were okay with this little game. Had they not been in the mood, that was their time to sign a "no".

The human smirked at her small companion before continuing. "You know, you're just the cutest little sprite ever. You know that, right? With your big cute ears?"

Patch crossed their arms defiantly, Melody knew they hated being called cute and played it up for all she could. "Aw… don't give me that cute little scowl, you know you love me!"

The human placed the book down on their chest, forming a heart with her hands. Patch did a similar motion in response, but then split the heart in two, an exaggerated angry look on their face. Melody placed a hand over her heart and gasped at this gesture in a mock astonishment.

"I can't believe you would say such hurtful things! All I did was compliment your cute and adorable ears!"

Patch responded by squeezing their ears closer to their face, in what Melody had seen before as a mockery of her own rounded ears. Learning that Patch (and all sprites, apparently) found human ears weird and ugly was one of the funniest things Melody had learned about their species, although considering how much they used their ears as part of their body language, she supposed it made sense. The human replied to this gesture with feigned indignation and offense.

"Wow, Patch. Wow. Here I am trying to be a good person, a diplomat between our peoples, and you show up with such a hateful and insensitive display. Frankly, I expected better of you as ambassador for spritekind."

At that, she finally hit her limit for what she could say with a straight face, as she started laughing. Patch followed suit, not quite understanding the joke, but the infectious laughter of their human companion was more than enough. Their silent laughter was felt more than heard as the two of them shared this moment.

As she calmed down, the human spoke again, in her normal voice. "Okay, okay, I'll let you get back to your art. Still just goofing around, right?"

Patch smiled genuinely and gave a proper heart symbol with their hands, which the human mirrored before picking up their book, giving a simple "Love you, Patch" before resuming their reading.

#oc tag: patch #oc tag: mel #patchwork melody #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #g/t ocs #gtjuly #g/t fluff

[tuberculosis-burger]

[ authors note: i went to bed early with a migraine last night, so since we missed out on the quirkyduo stargazing rp, enjoy a little fic of the moment instead :) ]

Far outside of Las Nevadas, the light of a starry sky gently floods a near-silent desert. The sounds in it are limited and muted, but Tubbo keeps track of each one.

The quiet click of his own keys in Wilbur’s hand. The crunch of sand under his feet as he steps out of the car. Wilbur’s voice, bouncing and dramatic as he bows low and addresses Tubbo with titles of royalty.

“You are such a goof,” Tubbo teases with a fond eye roll. He shuts the door behind him – quiet thump.

Wilbur opens the trunk – a swish, a clunk – and he pulls out a blanket. Lays it over the sand, smooths it out. It all rustles softly.

Wilbur says something else – another joke, an arm thrown in a wide gesture – and then he sits on the blanket. It takes an embarrassingly long moment for Tubbo to catch up to it. It takes long enough that Wilbur notices and repeats, a little less dramatically, “Tubbo?”

“Yeah,” Tubbo says. Wilbur is still looking at him. His legs move again. He finds a seat on a corner of the blanket at Wilbur’s side. “Yeah, sorry. I’m coming.”

“Lost in thought?”

“Yeah.” He hurries for a quick excuse, something better than I don’t even know what I was thinking about, and settles on, “I was just thinking, I forgot to tell Ranboo I’m staying out. I have to remember to do that. He always worries when I don’t come home.”

There’s only a tiny pause before Wilbur says, “You’d better text him, then. We don’t want a Ranboo conniption on our hands.”

“Conniption,” Tubbo echoes. His communicator is in his hands and he’s tapping out a simple message. “That’s a fun word.”

He sends the message with a heart at the end – nothing elaborate, just a little white lie about staying with Quackity in Las Nevadas – and then he joins Wilbur. Ranboo doesn’t need to worry tonight at all.

Tubbo tips his head back and studies the sky above them. The stars here are brilliant, bright and visible with stunning clarity. Wilbur was right; this is a beautiful place to look at them.

Wilbur is pointing out the constellations. Tubbo follows along, reminding himself where each star is in the sky and pointing to a few he knows himself.

“Do you ever feel like Pegasus doesn’t even look like a horse?”

Wilbur considers this. “I mean, it kind of does. There’s the body, and the legs–”

“That’s half a horse,” Tubbo argues. “It’s not a whole horse! It doesn’t even have wings.”

That draws a laugh out of Wilbur, a full proper one. “Okay, okay. Fair enough. Go on, tell me what other constellations don’t look like the real thing.”

“All of them,” Tubbo says immediately. “Except for the dippers.”

“Maybe you have no imagination,” Wilbur teases.

“Tell me Cassiopeia actually looks like a person.” Tubbo looks at Wilbur, right in the eye. “Tell me she looks like a lady and not, like, a weird W.”

“Cassiopeia W,” Wilbur quips. But then, “I don’t know, actually. Maybe if you turn it on its side?”

Tubbo tilts his head. The stars are sideways. “Still a W. Cassiopeia W.”

Wilbur laughs, softly, rippling over the cold sand all around them like a gentle wave. Tubbo smiles along with it. “She actually did not get a lot of wins.”

“Maybe the constellation is shaped like that to make up for it.” Tubbo drops the angle of his chin, gently stretching out the creak in his neck. “One W to make up for all the Ls.”

Wilbur laughs. It’s soft, rippling over the cold sand all around them like a gentle wave. Tubbo smiles along with it.

“I actually don’t know about Cassiopeia,” he admits. “I think I missed that story. Is it too much of a bummer?”

Wilbur makes a noncommittal noise. The kind of sound that means yes, but I want to tell it so badly anyway. “Sort of.”

When they were younger, Wilbur used to do this. He’d read stories out of books, but more often, he’d make up his own or retell one he knew from somewhere else, with his own little Wilbur twists and flairs added on. During summer evenings outside in tall grass and cricketsong, or through winters under wool blankets and woodsmoke, Tubbo, little enough for the memories to be lined with a layer of fuzzy distance now, would listen to Wilbur, young enough to still have an adolescent’s squeak in his voice, spin his tales.

Tubbo, much older now, settles onto his side. One elbow props up his chin. Wordlessly, eyebrows raised, he waits for Wilbur to start.

Wilbur needs no other encouragement.

He launches straight into the story. The enthusiasm is familiar; a lilt to his voice, the way he uses his hands to illustrate and punctuate. He introduces Cassiopeia, Andromeda, Poseidon and Cepheus and Perseus. Dances through their tale, as if he isn’t rusty at all. As if he still tells these stories every evening.

Who knows, maybe he does. Maybe that’s the charm of Paradise Burgers – an impromptu storytime by the proprietor.

Tubbo fights back a smile at the idea and focuses on the story again. Listens to a queen’s vanity, a god’s wrath. Very quickly, the story does not even seem to be about Cassiopeia at all anymore, but Wilbur has very much gotten into telling it, so Tubbo doesn’t interrupt with even a single word.

“Cassiopeia’s vanity brings Poseidon’s wrath upon her family,” Wilbur says. “And even after everything, she still hadn’t suffered enough. A monster attacks her city. Her husband sacrifices their daughter to save his city. And at the end of it all, she has not suffered enough.”

“What happens to her?” Tubbo breathes, just loud enough to push Wilbur on.

“Poseidon casts her into the sky instead.” Wilbur’s voice fills, just for a moment, with an emotion just shy of wistful and bitter. It’s almost tangible. There is something between the stars and this story that takes up a place in Tubbo’s ribs and sits there, hollow and aching. “The seas are calmed, so he throws her to the depths of the stars instead, cold and lonely and empty. This is the consequence to her arrogance: elevation to the highest heavens, and isolation all around it.”

Quiet settles all around them in the fading notes of Wilbur’s story. Tubbo studies the constellation above them a little longer.

“You’re right,” he says. “That did seem like a lot of L’s.”

Wilbur laughs, but a quieter thing this time. Muted. “Greek myths are like that.”

Silence wraps around Tubbo’s shoulders, somewhere between summer cricketsong and winter smoke. He lays back on the blanket, shoulders flat, hands on his stomach. He looks up at a thousand pinpricks of light and the shapes they make between them. Wilbur’s story, the stars above, the blanket below – everything mixes together in a nostalgic swirl that runs the past and present together like wet ink.

“Do the stars make you feel weird?” Tubbo asks. He pulls his gaze away from them, puts it back on Wilbur. It’s like if he looks at them a little too long, they might start looking at him too.

…That’s a Wilbur sort of feeling. Tubbo is starting to have Wilbur feelings. There’s a new fear. He’s turning into his—

His—

Well, whatever Wilbur is to him. He’s becoming a Wilbur, whatever that means.

Wilbur hums his answer. “I suppose. Small, perhaps? Like the sky is so wide and infinite, it makes you smaller in comparison.”

“Maybe?”

“Phil always said that if you look at the stars long enough, it makes your problems seem inconsequential. The sky is so big and infinite, and all the things that bother you are pretty damn tiny when you think about them from the stars’ perspective.”

Tentatively, Tubbo says, “That’s wise.”

Wilbur snorts. “Sure. And it’s kinda bullshit.”

Tubbo laughs through an exhale. “Okay, yeah. I didn’t want to say it. Yeah, that’s bullshit.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be small, Phil. Maybe I like having big problems.”

“The stars are wrong,” Tubbo jokes solemnly. “Make your problems bigger.”

“Maybe I will!” Wilbur grins wide, and then he leans back. Sets his hands on the blanket behind him, tips his head back to stare directly up at the stars. “I’m sure not feeling particularly small right now.”

“Me either,” Tubbo says. “You know I’m taller than Quackity?”

Wilbur glances his way. Starlight plays on the wire of his glasses. “Are you, really?”

“Yep.” He is. He noticed it a few weeks ago when Quackity had stood in the kitchen of Tubburger next to him and reached for a glass up on a shelf, up on his tiptoes, and Tubbo realized he could get to that shelf just fine. After Quackity left, he stood in front of it and reached a hand up. Fingers around smooth glass. Heels still firmly on the floor.

It isn’t by much. He doesn’t feel taller in any way except that he notices it every time Quackity stands by him now. He notices when he realizes he’s looking down, just a little, to meet his eyes. Notices when Quackity’s shoulder bumps him and it’s Tubbo’s arm, not his own shoulder too, that it collides with.

Tubbo is taller. Not by much, but enough for Tubbo to be quite sure. He was not taller than Quackity two years ago. He is now.

“Quackity doesn’t know yet,” Tubbo admits. “I haven’t told him. I think he’d have a–what’s your word?”

“A conniption,” Wilbur says, smiling.

“A conniption.”

See, the thing is, Tubbo is not small anymore. He doesn’t fit under Quackity’s arm or behind his wings. And that’s for the better, probably, because it means Tubbo isn’t that kid now. He isn’t a kid at all anymore, he guesses, but he’s not sure exactly when that happened. He just knows it did, because he doesn’t fit anymore.

He doesn’t fit into the fuzzy memories of hearth and story, either. He’s someone else entirely.

The kids who told and listened to stories are someone else entirely from the two of them on a picnic blanket in a lonely desert. That kid is probably gone forever, swaddled safely in a fuzzy blanket and tucked away in Tubbo’s memory. The one who used to fit under Quackity’s arm is gone too. All that’s left is him, Tubbo, in a desert, in a car, in a kitchen, and taller than he ever thought about being.

He wonders if Wilbur thinks he’s still the same as he was back then. He wonders if something is gone for him too.

“Tell me another story,” he says instead. “What’s that star?”

Wilbur tells him. This time, Tubbo closes his eyes to listen.

[sdierdorf]

I Watched Damsel So You Don’t Have To

You may be aware that the #1 movie on Netflix right now is a fantasy movie starring Millie Bobby Brown called Damsel. Since it's so highly rated, you're probably asking yourself, Should I watch this?

The answer is no. You should not watch it. It's not good. But as a public service I have taken it upon myself to summarize the whole movie for you here. So don't waste two hours watching it—just waste 5 minutes reading this post. You're welcome!

Once upon a time...

Millie Bobby Brown is from a kingdom in the north that is super cold and has no money or food, so everyone is starving. She has a father, and a stepmother, and a sister, and they are worried about how they are going to feed their kingdom. But good news! Her father has arranged for her to be married to a prince from a rich kingdom far away. This will save us! he says, without elaborating. So the whole family piles into a ship and sails to this rich kingdom, the name of which I did not get.

They land in the rich kingdom. We know it’s rich because everyone keeps remarking on how rich it is. Princess MBB meets the prince, whose name I think is Henry. He’s tall, but he’s a bit of a wet washcloth. He and MBB walk through the garden and then go on a horseback ride. He thinks that MBB is a bit of a firecracker because she can draw mazes, and ride horses, and speak truth to power. He confesses to her that he wants to travel the world, and she says that she does too. This seems to be working out great!

As an aside, MBB tells him that she saw torches on the mountain the night before. Henry says that it was an “ancient ceremony” of his family’s that “honors their ancestors”. The way he hesitates awkwardly when he says this does not in any way make MBB suspect anything sinister.

Meanwhile, her father is back at the palace having a meeting with the Queen (Prince Henry’s mom) to work out some “particulars” of the wedding plans. He emerges from this meeting looking like a ghost. His wife (MBB’s stepmother) sees him and is like, What’s wrong? And he’s like, Nothing… And she’s like, Then why are you all pale? And he’s like, Leave me alone woman!

Unsatisfied, the stepmom toddles up to the queen and compliments the wedding flowers and the palace and everything, and the Queen is a stone cold bitch to her. So the stepmother finds MBB and is like, Yo these people suck, you shouldn’t marry this guy! But then the dad comes along and their talk is over.

The next day is the wedding! Five lady's maids who look like they are from A Handmaid’s Tale squeeze MBB into a golden dress that has like 17 corsets. Then it’s the wedding! It takes up about a minute of screen time. They kiss, and she and the prince get into a golden carriage and are whisked away. Where are we going? asks MBB. Remember those ceremonies I told you about? he says totally innocently and without foreboding.

The carriage stops in the mountains in front of a long, black, non-sinister staircase. There is no one else around. The prince leads MBB up the stairs to a little grotto with a bridge, where they see the Queen and like 40 dudes in creepy gold masks.

The Queen gives MBB a gold coin for seemingly no reason, and then she gives a speech while the prince leads MBB up some more stairs and across the bridge. The Queen tells a story about their ancient ancestor, a king, who discovered that there was a “beast” living in the kingdom. He tried to kill it but failed, so he made a deal wherein the beast could eat the king’s three daughters and the king could settle his people in the kingdom. At no point during this story does MBB think that anything is weird.

Then the Queen takes out a dagger. She slices the palm of the prince’s hand, and then she slices the palm of MBB’s hand. She pushes their palms together and kind of smears the blood around. Then she declares, Now she is of royal blood! Okay…? MBB gives the prince a relieved look. Thank goodness that’s over! She turns to the crowd of gold-masked people behind them, who all slowly nod their heads once in a non-sinister way.

To ensure that our kingdom thrives forever more, says the Queen to MBB, pay your due to the realm! Then she whispers, Throw the coin off the bridge and into that ominous dark chasm. MBB does this, and the Queen declares, Now the ceremony is complete! You may make your return!

Thank goodness that’s over! MBB turns to leave, and the prince says, I’m supposed to carry you back. MBB says she is fine walking, but the prince ignores this and sweeps her into his arms. He carries her back over the bridge and stops in the middle. I’m sorry, he whispers, and then hucks her off the bridge into the chasm. Who could’ve seen that coming?

MBB falls down into the chasm through a whole bunch of tree branches and then lands at the bottom with a thud. She is knocked unconscious for a bit, but then she comes to and starts screaming for help. Then she tries to climb out, but the walls are too slippery and she falls down again. Then she starts looking around on the ground and sees all of these jewels and tiaras and stuff. That’s not mine! she says, and then she figures it out: lots of princesses have been tossed into this chasm. She does not seem embarrassed for not figuring this out earlier, but she should be.

Then she hears a noise, which she unwisely investigates, and holy shitballs it turns out to be a dragon! They have a conversation. It turns out that the bargain is that the humans have to huck some princesses into the chasm once every generation in order to keep living in the kingdom. MBB looks shocked for some reason.

The dragon breathes fire at MBB, who runs away into some caves. Whilst running she finds the body of another princess-y girl who seems to have been hucked down here rather recently. Odd!

She crawls deeper into the caves, which get super narrow and claustrophobic, and which I did not care for. Eventually she finds some room to walk, and she wanders into a big cavern that is lit up by some blue fungus or something. It’s a dead end though: there’s a deep ravine between her and the rest of the passage.

She takes a breather. She examines her wedding ring, which fills her with rage about her betrayal, so she takes it off and tosses it into the ravine. Fuck the patriarchy! She decides to further fuck the patriarchy by leaping across the ravine, which seems to go okay at first, but then she starts sliding down the rock face and into the depths. At the last second she whips out a ceremonial dagger that the Handmaid’s Tale ladies had conveniently laced into her bodice, and she uses it to pull herself up to safety. Whew!

Now that she’s safely across, she examines the blue fungus, which actually turns out to be a bunch of glowing slugs. She rips one of the puffy sleeves off of her dress and fills it with glowing slugs, which she uses as a kind of torch. What a firecracker!

Then the dragon finds her again, so MBB has to leap out of the way of the dragon’s fire breath into another small crevasse. The dragon seems nonplussed by this and goes off somewhere else. MBB crawls down further into the crevasse, which opens up into a big cavern. One of the cavern walls is notable because some previously-sacrificed princesses have scratched their names into it. There are a lot of names.

MBB curls up with her slug sleeve torch and tries to get some sleep, but she is haunted by dreams of all those other princesses who died in this cave. In her dream one of the other princesses looks at her and says, It’s a lie! Then MBB wakes up with a start. Odd!

She wakes up to find, to her horror, that the really nasty burn wound on her leg that I forgot to tell you about before is covered with glowy slugs! She peels them off with disgust, but she soon discovers that the slugs have somehow healed her burn! She puts a slug on a giant scratch on her arm, and the slug heals that too! I am deeply sorry for underestimating you, she says to the slug. What a firecracker!

She stands up and discovers that one of the enterprising dead princesses has drawn a map of the cave system on the wall. It seems to show a way out, which makes no sense: did someone discover a way out, come all the way back down to update the map, and then re-escape? Whatever. MBB is not bothered by this; in fact, she is energized. She rips off a big chunk of her wedding dress’s big billowy skirt and then uses her ceremonial dagger to carve her name on the wall. Then she sets off to follow the map (which she has memorized) and escape.

She soon reaches her destination: a tall cavern with a crack in the top that leads to the surface! But uh-oh walls of the cavern are covered in razor-sharp crystals. No problem. She tears off more of her dress into strips, which she wraps around her hands and feet so she doesn’t get cut while climbing up the crystals.

This totally works. When she reaches the top she finds an opening to the outside. But god damn it, the opening is just a hole in the face of the mountain about a zillion feet up. It’s a sheer rock face, so there’s no way to climb down. Foiled again! But what’s this? She hears horses somehow! Far in the distance she sees some men dismounting their steeds, and she starts screaming and waving to get their attention.

Just then, the dragon slams into the side of the mountain, right in front of MBB! The dragon could easily kill her by simply breathing fire into the hole in the rock, but she decides to monologue first. There’s no way out, Princess! says the dragon. Three were taken, and three must be given! That seems like an odd thing to say, but MBB doesn’t seem to notice.

Then the dragon starts to get its fire breath going, and MBB braces for her inevitable demise. But the dragon stops. There is the sound of voices in the distance. What’s this? says the dragon to nobody, and then it flies away, because it is the world’s most easily distracted dragon.

MBB has but a moment to savor her good fortune when she hears shouts from below. Someone is calling her name! We cut to another part of the cavern, where we see MBB’s snake of a father climbing down a rope from the surface. Apparently he felt guilty about selling MBB out to be sacrificed, so he gathered a huge army of knights to storm the mountain and kill the dragon.

Just kidding! He actually only brought three measly dudes with him, one of whom is their guide and doesn’t even have any armor. This seems wholly inadequate.

Meanwhile, we find that MBB has made the onerous climb back down the crystal cavern. She happens into a very large chamber, where she finds what appear to be three broken eggs, each one holding the skeleton of a baby dragon. We are then treated to a flashback of that ancient ancestor king (the guy who made the deal with the dragon) and a huge army of his knights. (Just kidding! He’s got maybe eight guys with him.) It’s not entirely clear whose flashback this is; it seems like they want us to think it’s MBB’s, but that obviously makes no sense at all.

Anyway, the king and his men are in the same chamber and see three shiny golden eggs, which hatch into baby dragons right before their eyes. The king orders 3/8ths of his soldiers to kill the babies. I guess all the kings in this movie are bastards. We see the men stab their swords down a bunch of times, but the actual killing happens just offscreen, I guess because killing babies of any species is a huge bummer.

Then the dragon flies in with a quickness and roasts the king’s eight dudes. The king immediately capitulates. Please spare me! he cries. I’ll give you anything! The dragon grabs him in his claw. You will feel my pain, says the dragon. What an odd thing to say!

The flashback ends and MBB scurries away. She hears her father and his paltry band yelling her name. She’s like, shut up, the dragon can hear you! They do not shut up, and the dragon hears them. It flies in and kills the companions, and then faces off with the father. The father draws his sword and charges at the dragon, who wraps up the father’s legs with its tail and hoists him upside down into the air. Total humiliation.

The dragon starts conversating with the father. It forces him to call MBB, to lure her in. The father dutifully calls her. He apologizes to her for selling her out. The dragon orders him to tell MBB to come out of her hiding place. But in a remarkable twist, the father defiantly tells her NOT to come out, and the dragon crushes him under his claw. What a hero, I guess.

Hilariously, MBB has been about five feet from the dragon this whole time. If the dragon had just tilted its head a different way, it would have spotted her. Whatever. MBB and the dragon play a game of cat-and-mouse around a big stalagmite. It looks like she’s about to get caught when her father’s guide, who apparently did not get killed with the other companions, makes a noise. The dragon instantly stops caring about MBB and chases after the noise, because distractable.

MBB comes out of hiding and creeps over to her dad, who utters something unintelligible and then dies. MBB finds the rope that her dad had climbed down, and she starts climbing up it.

The dragon locates the guide and kills him, and then it somehow hears MBB making a break for it. It flies through the cavern and unleashes a torrent of fire right at MBB, but it only manages to burn the bottom part of the rope she is no longer holding on to. She climbs up and out of the cavern.

Her father’s horses are nearby, so she jumps onto one and takes off at a gallop. The dragon climbs out of the cavern to the surface and chases her. But she pulls off a super sneaky trick: she jumps OFF the horse and hides under some rocks!

This totally works. The dragon flies right over MBB’s hiding place, chases after the horse, and roasts it with his fire breath. Pour one out for the horse. The dragon soon figures out that it’s been had, however, and it starts flying around in a rage and breathing fire into the sky.

We cut to the Queen in the palace. She sees the fire in the sky. That damned girl! she exclaims, presumably meaning MBB. Then she runs off. We then cut to MBB’s (remaining) family. They are on their ship waiting to go home. The Queen comes aboard with a bunch of soldiers. They seize MBB’s sister, who I think I forgot to mention had come with the family to the rich kingdom to attend the wedding. One of the soldiers stabs the stepmother really hard right in the gut, seemingly for fun, and they all storm off.

It’s morning now. MBB emerges from her hiding place and sees…the stepmother. Wait, what? Somehow the stepmother managed to get off the ship, requisition a horse, and ride to the mountains to find MBB, all with a grievous sword wound? And she found her immediately? Okay, movie, whatever. The stepmother gets off the horse with no problem whatsoever and tells MBB that her sister has been taken. MBB then hilariously jumps onto the horse and rides off to save her sister, stranding her presumably-dying stepmother in the middle of nowhere, where she will either bleed out or starve to death. I guess that’s a wrap on the stepmother.

Cut to the Queen and the prince, who are back in that grotto with the bridge. They have the sister in tow, and the Queen is clearly intent on doing some hucking. Even the prince is not down with this plan, but the Queen brushes him aside. She slices the sister’s hand with the knife, slices her own hand with the knife, squishes their hands together, and mixes the blood around. (Gotta follow the rules!) Then the Queen’s soldiers huck the sister into the chasm. She falls down, down, down, but before she can bash her skull on the rocks below, the dragon catches her in its claw and flies deeper into the cavern. The dragon’s plan appears to be use the sister as bait to lure in MBB and then kill her.

This totally works. MBB rides up to the mountain on her stolen horse. She climbs up to the grotto/bridge situation. The Queen is long gone, but MBB knows what happened. She throws a rope down into the chasm and climbs down.

At this point the movie laps itself. MBB basically acts out everything we’ve seen before: jumping across the chasm, gathering glowy slugs, finding the map room, going to the big chamber where her dad died. She builds some kind of ingenious contraption that I didn’t understand, which makes a big noise and unsurprisingly distracts the dragon. Like an idiot, it flies off to investigate the noise and leaves the sister unattended.

MBB sneaks in and wakes up the sister, who was unconscious. They try to run away, but the sister has a hurt leg, so they can’t escape before the dragon comes back. The sister hides, and MBB draws her sword and bravely starts a conversation with the dragon. She tries to convince the dragon that they’re on the same side, but it doesn’t work. The dragon roasts MBB with its fire breath, and MBB stabs the dragon with her sword. Luckily MBB also falls backward off of the cliff she was standing on into some conveniently placed water, which puts out the fire. She’s burned a bit, but it’s nothing some glowy slugs can’t take care of.

The dragon is getting wise, though, and it flies down and traps MBB under its giant claw before she can scurry off again. It uses one of its giant fingernails to stab MBB in the side, which pisses her off enough to stab the dragon in the eye with a knife she apparently had. MBB escapes the claw and retrieves her dad’s sword, which was lying around. The dragon faces her, but with only one eye it can’t see her very well. MBB charges at the dragon with her sword but then slides on the ground at the last minute, sneaking under the dragon’s outstretched claw and stabbing it in the chest.

But the dragon isn’t dead yet, and also MBB is really hurt. She limps away, following some weird puffs of dust. The dragon limps after her, clearly dying, but with enough strength left to finish off MBB. MBB turns around, they have another conversation, and then the dragon lights up MBB with its fire breath, burning her to a cinder. The End.

As if! You think Netflix would let MBB go out like that? Not a chance. You see, a little earlier she noticed that the puffs of dust in the cave were blowing into some conveniently-placed curved rocks, rebounding off them, and then blowing back in the opposite direction. So when the dragon unleashes its fire breath on her, MBB leaps out of the way somehow, and the fire bounces off the curved rocks and right back into the dragon’s face! Because that’s totally how fire works!

The dragon burns and smolders, but it isn’t quite dead yet. Exultant in her victory, MBB picks up her sword and approaches the dragon. She explains to the dying dragon that the whole thing was a sham: the princesses weren’t really princesses, they were just girls that were duped into temporarily marrying a prince and then hucked into the chasm. She holds up her hand to show it the scar on her palm. She explains that they would cut the palm of the “princess” and then rub it against it blood of the prince to fool the dragon. It would smell the “royal” blood and then assume that the girl was a real princess.

Wait, really? That’s what this whole plot hinges on? Ay carumba.

The dragon concedes that yeah, maybe it wasn’t super clear about the whole royal blood thing. Mea culpa. The dragon asks to be put out of its misery. MBB lifts up her sword to strike the killing blow, but instead she stabs the sword into the ground. I’m through doing what I’m told! she explains to the dragon. What a firecracker!

MBB collects a few glowy slugs and places them on one of the dragon’s 7,000 grievous wounds. Work fast, little slugs.

Cut to the palace courtyard, where another wedding is already in progress. The prince gazes into the eyes of his new bride/victim while the Queen and her assembled noblepeople look on. Their attention is diverted by the sound of a coin rolling along the ground. It’s the gold coin that the Queen gave to MBB before she (MBB) got hucked! Everyone’s eyes look up to see where the coin came from, and they see MBB walking toward them.

She looks like hot shit. She’s all dirty and bloody, and she’s wearing only a tattered fragment of skirt and her trusty whalebone corset. Thankfully her hair and eye makeup are still perfect.

The assembled royalty is surprised to see her, to say the least. The prince tries to protest that he was worried about her, but MBB is having none of it. The Queen is kind of pissy about the whole thing, seemingly on the grounds that MBB is not royal enough or something. This seems entirely beside the point. MBB gently tells the new bride to GTFO, which she does. Then she tells everyone at the wedding that they can run away too, if they want. Some of the servants take off, but the Queen and her retinue stay put. You think that we should fear you just because you escaped the dragon? the Queen asks haughtily. MBB stares daggers at her and says, It’s not me you should fear.

Right on cue, the dragon flies into the courtyard. Now the various nobles start to flee, but the Queen and her family stay put. MBB exits stage left, which you’d think would be a clue about what is going to happen next. The dragon shoots its fire breath into the courtyard and roasts the royal family. Mission accomplished.

We then see the palace from a distance. The entire thing is in flames. The palace is made of stone, which is notoriously fireproof, but whatever. MBB walks out of the city and down an extremely long causeway, with her new dragon pal flying incredibly slowly above her.

Cut to the pier. MBB and her sister are walking with their stepmother, who is remarkably alive. They are discussing how they are going to rescue their kingdom from starvation. (Remember that?) The plan seems to be to fill up their ship with supplies that they will steal from what’s left of the rich kingdom. MBB says that these supplies will last them at least two winters. This doesn’t seem to really solve the core problem of their kingdom being shitty and unsustainable, but I guess two years is long enough to be considered a happy ending. They all board the ship and sail home, with the dragon sloooowly escorting them across the sea. THE END.

#damsel netflix

[ao3time]

Idioms In Gotham

@acingrayson: Regular people: "smell the flowers!" ( enjoy things!) Gothamites: "smell the flowers" (get stupidly caught by a rogue)

I hc that Gothamites have like a whole lexicon of phrases that mean completely different things than literally anywhere else

Me: This looks like a fun way to procrastinate! Let’s get some of that sweet, sweet dopamine! 

 "Beat around the bush" also comes from Ivy and her plants. It means being late to something because of inconvenient Rouge shenanigans making your commute way longer than expected

 "Call it a day" is when a night is surprisingly calm for Gotham, so it may as well be daytime. "Call it a night" is the opposite. 

 "Cutting Corners" is being careful or cautious, because sticking to walls shadows and corners is the best way to walk from point a to b without being caught off guard. 

 "When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras" is to be an idiot who underestimates the theatricality of Gotham nightlife 

 "It's not rocket science" is what you say when someone is trying to make something logical that will never be logical. You can try to be as analytical if you want but sometimes it's all magic and curses. 

 "Let someone off the hook" is to fall into a trap by trying to rescue a seemingly innocent victim. Wasting time you should spend running untying, unhooking, or otherwise freeing someone who is just as likely to turn on you.

 "Miss the boat" came about when 3 separate villains intentionally crashed ships into Gotham in the span of 3 months. Miss the boat means to repeatedly dodge bad luck by sheet chance. 

 "No pain, no gain" means to call something a draw. It's okay you didn't get anything out of it, at least you aren't in pain. 

 "Time flies when you're having fun" is a warning to small kids. Don't have too much careless fun or night will hit and you'll be unprepared. 

  "Get bent out of shape" means something didn't go as bad as it could have. Like a bent streetlight as opposed to one that falls on someone's head.

 "A bird in the bush is worth two in the hand": this altered saying refers to Robin and other vigilantes being great from afar, but if they're near you, your day either has been or will be bad. 

 "A perfect storm" is any natural disaster or bad weather event that doesn't include supervillain shenanigans.  

"Bite off more than you can chew" means to be smart and take any and every resource you can, because you may not have the chance later

"Break the ice" means to go about your day after something catastrophic. It originated from workers calmly going at their office doors with icepicks after an attack from Mr. Freeze because their boss still needed the quarterly reports in today

 "By the skin of your teeth" to get through an event alive, but with weird unexplained medical effects 

 "Do something at the drop of a hat" enact a safety plan the instant that anything goes even a little bit wrong. 

 "Every cloud has a silver lining" means don't dawdle looking at pleasant or pretty sights. Sources disagree about whether the "silver" refers to knives and swords, or lead poisoning. 

 "Go on a wild goose chase" For a hot second in the 90's there was a goose themed rouge. This means to be chased, caught or tormented by a off-off-off brand villain. Your friends are never going to let you live it down. 

 "It's a piece of cake" = too good to be true 

 "It's raining cats and dogs" = a villain scheme disguised as a natural disaster. It doesn't matter if you don't know the motive or the objective, you stay inside and keep your head down. 

 "On this ice" also comes from Mr. Freeze. It means that whatever the inconvenience is, it's small enough that you can go about your day, so don't expect sympathy. 

 "Take it with a grain of salt" means to prepare some small thing to keep you safe. Named after a woman who would throw salt over her shoulder for good luck every 5 minutes while running errands. 

 "The early bird gets the worm" is a threat. 'worm' here refers to petty criminals and mildly bad people. The early bird refers to new Robins who are overeager and haven't learned how to pull their punches or prioritize. It's a playful way to tell a friend that karma is coming for them (example: "What the hell? You stole my popcorn!" "What are you going to do about it?" "The early bird gets the worm, you know!")

 "There's a method to his madness" means that if you try to understand the rouges, you will go mad

 "Calm before the storm" is a positive saying because sometimes a good natural disaster means everyone will just stay home and ignore each other 

 "Fortune favors the bold" refers to how those crazy rouges and bats and dramatic theater kids of all sorts Somehow make it out of everything unscathed. Basically means 'life's not fair' or 'if there is a god he has a sick sense of humor' 

 "Sitting on the fence" means letting your guard down. You shouldn't be resting out in the open like that! 

 "Seeing eye to eye" = being unexpectedly trapped in close quarters with someone. 

 "You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"= don't be too nice to people, or you could attract trouble. It's better to be standoffish. These are very much up for grabs if anyone likes them!

#batman #gotham world building #gothamites #only in gotham #BatFam #idioms

[rrain-writes]

Oh Raven (Sing Me a Happy Song)

&lt; Chapter 8 | Chapter 10 >

Chapter 9:

Link rolled over, realised he was lying in a tree a second too late, and hit the ground with an oof. Brushing himself off, he looked around, ears twitching. He hadn’t felt something like that for a while.

It was the divinity of Hylia, diluted a little, seasoned with something so distinctly heroic it was impossible to miss.

Link frowned. He hadn’t felt Hylia since he finished his quest. But this was… different.

-

“I say we go back to the forest. Go look for people.” Four said.

“It’s the best thing we’ve got.” Time replied, looking around. They all nodded in agreement and began the walk back to the broken walls.

“It’s weird.” Warriors said, looking around. “Why would we be sent here?”

They didn’t encounter anything the entire way back. It was earie to think about just how silent and empty the city was, when the last time they were here the streets were crowded with people.

They all theorised what could have happened, and when exactly they were, but none of their suggestions seemed to explain what had caused the destruction, as well as the lack of life. If only they could find Raven, or whoever the hero of this era was, to explain the story.

-

They weren’t prepared for this. That much was clear. Raven ran through the forests, hand holding Blue-Jay’s as tight as he could. They were both panting and tired, but they couldn’t stop running.

The screams of the… things that chased them were close. Their destination was right ahead! They just had to run a little more, then they would be safe from the nightmares that pursued them.

Then someone screamed, high pitched and frightened. Raven came to a stop as he saw two small figures just off the overgrown path that the pair was following.

A monster loomed over two children, a girl and a boy. The boy, though smaller, stood in front of the girl. He was visibly shaking, but held up a pathetic stick in an attempt to guard her.

Raven yelled, drawing the beast's attention away from the kids. It turned, beady eyes staring greedily. The monster snarled at him as it raised its club, and he snarled right back.

It was like he was back at Hyrule castle, training as a knight.

Though Raven only held a metal pole, he wielded it with such precision it became a deadly weapon.

The monster stilled, then vanished, leaving behind only its strange horns.

Blue-Jay had moved over to the children, speaking gently.

Raven looked around nervously. The dark held all the secrets the daylight covered up. It only made their surroundings more dangerous than ever.

“Rave.” Blue-Jay said, calling his attention. “We need to keep moving.”

Raven nodded, before holding a hand out to the boy. His eyes widened when he got a look at the kid. Blond hair, striking blue eyes. Stick gripped firmly, the same way someone might carry a sword. It was like he staring at himself, many years ago.

“What’s your name?” Raven asked the boy gently. 

He never got a reply.

-

“What in Hylia’s name is that!” Wind exclaimed, eyes wide as he looked at the giant statue thing.

“Is it a… horse?” Twilight asked, confused.

“It looks like it’s on top of a building to me.” Sky replied, as he stood higher up on the ledge, to get a better view.

“There’s a sign over here!” Warriors called. “It says it’s a stable.”

Strange design choice.

“Let’s head over there. Maybe someone can tell us what happened.” Legend said, grabbing his bag.

Sky, Wind and Twilight climbed down from the rocky outcrop, and joined the others as they began to walk to the stable.

A man greeted them, though they didn’t miss the suspicious look he gave the group.

“Travellers?” He asked.

“That’s right, we were looking to stay here for the night.” Time replied, gesturing towards the beds inside.

The man nodded. “Ah, of course. But, would I be able to interest you boys in some mighty bananas? They’re a bit overripe but…”

Time shook his head gratefully. “We’re okay, but Thankyou.”

The man seemed to brighten up, and became more welcoming. “Well, we don’t get groups quite as big as yours around here often, so we don’t have enough beds. But I do have spare blankets and pillows if that’s alright with you?”

After sleeping arrangements were decided upon, the chain took the opportunity to question the man, who’s name was Tasseren, about the destruction they had seen. He looked at them oddly again.

“You really aren’t from around here.” He said. “Well, it all started a hundred years ago…”

-

Story tellers, grandparents, bards. Anyone really. Ask, and they’ll tell you the events that brought down a kingdom.

The tale is set long ago, when a scared King, burdened by the threat of war from the other intelligent species hid his people behind a Great Wall, burying the outside world deep into the history books where it couldn’t be found.

The species were Rito, bird like people who could fly in the sky upon great feathered wings. Zora, a species that swam under the waves with glittering scales. The Goron, miners and fighters whose flesh was instead stone, living upon the great volcano. And finally the Gerudo, a race of warriors women who’s beauty was as strong as their fighting skills.

The king made his people forget about them, and they did. And they stayed behind those walls long enough for future kings to come and go, for children to be born and their children to fade away.

Now, the story teller will tell you it was called the Calamity. When a hideous monster, not flesh and blood, but created from pure hatred, awoke deep under the castle.

The great walls opened with a groan, tired from disuse. People ran through the streets, in a desperate attempt to escape. Many didn’t make it. Those who did were left in a forest, overgrown from years of desertion.

They had to adapt. Learn to fight. To survive.

Then, the Hylians found the Zora. The Zora were not angry, at the actions of a man long dead. They welcomed the Hylian’s, and taught them the language of the land. 

Their princess, a beautiful girl called Mipha, heard the stories that drove them out of their city. So, armed with a trident and her healing powers, a gift passed down from God’s long forgotten, she left her domain in search of help.

Mipha first went to the Rito. It was a long journey, but when she made it, the princess sat down with the village elder and explained the situation. The elder called soon a Rito called Revali. The best archer to have ever flown the skies, Revali answered the Hylian’s pleas. He left his village with a bow alongside Mipha.

Next, the pair found themselves in a scorching desert, sands shifting in the breeze. They stood at the gates of Gerudo town and requested an audience with the chief, a powerful woman named Urbosa. Urbosa listened to them, and swore to help defeat the monster that howled in the distance. With a magical helm and the power of lightning at her finger tips, Urbosa followed Mipha and Revali to a ferocious mountain in the distance.

This mountain was the home of a Goron called Daruk. Daruk also promised to help them, assisted by the power of his protection, an invincible shield, he would fight at their side.

These four brave souls were called the champions.

#fan fiction #linked universe #lu #twilight #wild #legend #four #hyrule #sky #time #warriors #wind #fan fic

[quinloki]

Ship It, Ship It Real Good (Part 1)

Okay, so I have two OCs that are kind of similar in that they're both reptilian-people, snake variety but I based them off two very different things. Starting with the female. And you know me, I run long-winded so sit back and make yourself a cup of something warm, this'll take a while to read.

Her name is still a work in progress but for the time being I'm calling her Avalon, Lon Lon as a nickname. Avalon means apple and she does like to eat them, fangs notwithstanding. Technically speaking, she's based on a lamia however, if one were to look up what a lamia traditionally is—she isn't that.

Lamias are demonic snake women, think centaur but instead of a horse's body below the waist it's a snake body. Lamia are always female thus the upper body is always that of a woman. Like Medusa, women were given an unfair curse to be these demon snakes.

Traditionally they are hideous to look upon, they absolutely reek, their bite is horrendously venomous, and they devour people (usually men). Now, I had never heard of these things before until I watched some anime that I would like sponged from my memory (not sure if that's the proper phrase but you probably get the gist). The one good thing about that anime is that it gave me an idea for a snake woman.

I may or may not have stolen the coloring of the anime lamia for my own but I'm choosing to refer to that as "inspiration" because I then butchered their idea further. Because that's what I do, I borrow ideas and then mutilate them.

Anywho, enter Lon Lon, the fun-loving but continuously hunted Snake Woman. Avalon ate the Hiss-Hiss fruit, a rare Zoan-type that allows the user to turn into the mythical Lamia or Demon Snake-Woman. As with most Zoan users she has her regular human form (which I have yet to develop at all) and a hybrid form along with the full-blown lamia form.

Avalon, being the inexperienced devil fruit user that she is, and also being a rather unlucky lass to begin with had a bit of a hiccup first time using the devil fruit. She managed to bypass her hybrid form (also need to develop that) and is currently stuck in full lamia form.

I wish I could draw better because I can see her perfectly in my head and I can't figure out how best to describe her in words, but I'll try:

Waist down, her snake body is predominantly bright crimson red with some purple highlights and a pinkish underbelly. At her waist she developed flaps that look like she's wearing a skirt but really they're more like the webbing between a fishman's fingers/toes. Lon Lon is an aquatic sea snake that took to land more than the water, but the skirt webbing at her waist allows her to glide through the water easily.

For some reason, water doesn't bother her like it does other devil fruit users. It is unknown if this is because she's a sea snake lamia or if it's because she's been in the lamia form so long that she is slowly turning into the lamia in full.

Upper body from the waist up she is extraordinarily pale, not quite albino but she's often mistaken as albino. Her hair is snowy white and long enough to reach her belly button. She has little horns the grow on her forehead and they resemble jewels as the ends are rounded instead of pointed. On top of her head going down as a line on each side are a row of pointed horns. Nothing too pronounced, she can cover them with her hair if she gets creative (which she often does, she is very self-conscious about her horns) but it has been said that it looks like she grew her own little tiara of sorts.

She doesn't wear any clothing at all—she doesn't need them! She has strategically placed scales: larger scales that serve as armor on her sides from waist to underarms, and then her boobage area has scales covering the underboob all the way up to cover nipple and areola fully. They kind of grew in like a bra so she's modestly covered and protected and clothes rub weird against the scales so she just slithers around in her birthday suit. She has a few scales, very small ones that go on the sides of her neck just like her side scales but much tinier. Her upper body scales are silvery-white so at first glance you'd think she was totally nude until light hits and you realize she has scales.

She ended up stranded on an island somewhere and I headcanon that after Law loses to Blackbeard and Bepo whisks him away to safety, they end up stranded on an island. Bepo is not a ship, at some point he has to make landfall because he's going to get tired and he needs to get Law out of the ocean. They stop at the first island they come to.

Exploring the island brings them face-to-face with Avalon. She was probably munching down on an apple and Bepo probably ran into her first and panicked. Law shows up to see the commotion and honestly? Finds her fascinating but in a creepy-Law kind of way, like he wants to figure out why she is stuck in the full lamia form and why she seems to be waterproof so really what he sees is a living experiment.

She likes Bepo enough to not eat him and she tolerates Law enough to see if he can fix her. I have a bit more about her but it's still in development, but I see her traveling with Law post-Blackbeard battle. I don't ship her with Law either, I want to ship her with the other snake OC I have—she's more tame than that one, so he needs her.

I see Law and Avalon as being allies right now because he needs one but they could become good friends. Law would like it pointed out that when Avalon goes to sleep, she hisses her tongue out every time she exhales. If you fall asleep next to her, she will tickle your eras unwittingly in her sleep with her tongue. It's kind of adorable and Law will not admit to it being adorable, but it's adorable.

xD I have been effectively info-dumped \o/ and I love it =3

I love Lon Lon, and not just because I do like snakes, but also because I feel like if I ever got a Zoan fruit I'd be stuck in a fully-transformed state. Or, worse maybe, only able to change like, one limb at a time, be thrown terribly off-balance by it and accomplish little more than falling over.

The point when she comes into canon events is interesting to me. I love the late-game vibes of it, but I also really like that despite being her "first contact" there's no romance between her and Law or Bepo. I write so much romance/smut anymore that it's refreshingly different to see that ^_^ (Not that I don't like the first contact -> lovers pipeline, don't get me wrong).

You descriptions are always so good too. If I was a better artist I could probably translate them into picture form better, but gah, just thank you so much for sharing, and pardon me while I get to the other three asks you sent in XD

Ship it Good ask game

#thecrimsonacademic #quin answers #Ship It Good #oc ship

[faithfulcat111]

Stonathan Sunday

Stonathan Sunday Prompt: "We're going to have to stay here tonight."

Whumptober Day 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.” | Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”

Post-July Break Bingo Prompt: Huddling for Warmth

Halloween Horror Bingo Alt Fill Prompt: Can't Get Warm

"We're going to have to stay here tonight."

Steve turned away from the cracked window back towards where Jonathan was lying on the floor. He gave a weak smile at that but didn't respond. Steve frowned. He knew that Jonathan was quiet, almost abnormally so and Steve was just one of many people who kept threatening to put a bell on him because he tended to just suddenly be right there, scaring the shit out of you. Not the best for when you live in an apocalyptic situation.

But there was something noticeably different about the quiet he was now. Steve stepped closer, crouching down beside him to check the tightly wrapped cloth around Jonathan's leg. "It's not too tight right?" Steve kept his voice low, all too aware that the Upside-Down was not the place to attract attention.

Jonathan shook his head and motioned back towards the window. When Steve raised an eyebrow at him, he finally spoke up, barely audible as he whispered, "You need to cover the window."

"I don't think any monster is gonna see us through the curtain, Jonathan. They can't see to begin with, I'm more worried about them smelling us out than that," Steve responded.

"No, not them. The..." Jonathan was cut off by a far too audible clack of his teeth. That was when Steve noticed how he was barely trembling, tense all over. Like he was trying far too hard to keep himself from shaking.

"The cold," Steve finished, feeling like an idiot. He immediately got up, rooting around in the rotting house they were hiding in to try and find anything to cover the window and block the putrid wind from slipping through it. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a lost cause. But, he did find a small inner walk-in closet-like room. It seemed mostly untouched by the Upside-Down's effects, no vines and minimal slime. He came back out to the living room, dreading moving Jonathan into such a small enclosed space. But it gave them an additional layer of protection from monsters finding them, had two doors (which was weird, but Steve wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth), and was away from the window. It was the most ideal place and if he played his cards just right, maybe it would work out.

Steve walked back out into the living room, crouching beside his boyfriend once more. "Hey," he whispered, drawing Jonathan's attention from where it was locked on the window, arms locked tight around himself. "I found somewhere we can hide. But you need to trust me and listen to me, okay?" A flash of fear came across Jonathan's eyes before he could hide it, but Steve knew it wasn't personal. Or at least it was as unpersonal as it could get in the tangled-up mess he knew existed in his boyfriend's brain. Finally, Jonathan gave a quick nod, which was the most Steve knew he was going to get. "Close your eyes and stay close to me," Steve added and waited for Jonathan to close his eyes tight, scrunching up his entire face as he did so. He carefully slid his arms under Jonathan's legs and back, lifting him the best he could into a bridal carry. One of Jonathan's hands immediately latched onto his shirt as he tucked his face in. The shaking was much more obvious now, consistent as the cold of the Upside-Down that they had been stuck in for nearly 12 hours now was starting to seep in.

Steve carefully made his way back through the house and into the closet. "Keep your eyes closed," he whispered, carefully closing the door behind him with his back. He slid down against the wall, his arms relieved as he settled Jonathan in his lap, still tucked tight against him.

"Steve?" That one word held so many questions, but Steve just tightened his hold on Jonathan. Jonathan had always had a tendency to run hot, but there was very little warmth coming from him now. It wouldn't be long before they were both shivering. They had to find a way back across town to the base. Maybe they could get through to Will or El or Joyce and get a portal opened somewhere.

"We gotta stick close," Steve whispered, doing his best to keep his voice soothing. He figured Jonathan saw right through it, but was choosing to listen anyway. He was way too perspectivey for his own good. "We got to stick close to keep warm, so stay right here and don't move."

#stonathan #stonathan sunday #faith writes #whumptober2023 #hhbingo2023 #post july break bingo 2023

[threadsun]

i got a 95 :) {drugs are spoken about in this ask so tw drugs i think? that feels right to put}

okay so left to right/top to bottom the characters are: Victoria {Vic}, Zimmi, Jason, McKathy, Johanna, Sam, Richard {Rich}, Jodelle {Jo}, Christine {Chris}, Charlie, Valentine {Val}, MaLeo, Aestheti {Aes}, Bethany {Beth}, Idi, and Cassandra {Cass}

{vic use she/they, zimmi uses xe/she/they, jason uses he/him, mckathy's uses she/yel/yellow, johanna uses they/she, sam uses they/gray/ne/nem/neir, rich uses he/him, jo uses she/they, chris uses they/he/she, charlie uses he/him, val uses she/ix/ixs, maleo uses he/they, aestheti uses she/her, beth uses any, idi uses she/her, and cass uses she/they} sorry for all the pronouns, sometimes people get caught off guard when they're used. also i realized as i was drawing i had given idi and cass the same hair type and that they looked related since they were on the same poster, they aren't i just didn't do cass' half shave TT_TT

vic and zimmi are wives {big in world explanation, but basically married}. they've been together for a long while! vic is pretty energetic and zimmi is the calm type of energy. vic's sister is idi and they have the same eye color from their dad! their moms were platonically together and raised the two as sisters, idi looks up to zimmi a lot and sees xem as a role model!

jason works at a dispensary {good enough real world equivalent} and could be less depressed, he'd be doing better, he's picking up alcoholism from his friend blain {another weird explanation thing} and his type is. gray haired, sleep deprived people with addiction problems who do not view him romantically when he wants romance. guess who his buddy is! lol

mckathy has a boyfriend who is a heroin addict {their anatomy is weird and it's just easier to use real world qualifications, but there is a bigger explanation} and basically does not want to be a father. but mckathy's dream was to be a mom, even if yel had johanna at nineteen, why look a gift horse in the mouth right? she calls johanna a little ladybug and it's soso cute!! mckathy even made their little onesie!

sam's closest friend is jason, he's like their silly little guy. ne's in a relationship with another character named alica and they look very similar {alica is jason's ex as well} alica is aplatonic and aromantic and sam is aro/graysexual {and would call themself a dyke if the word existed in their world} so alica/sam don't call each other partners but do have a relationship {they have sex and hang out}. stoner! that's why neir's eyes are red, another big explanation thing :)

rich/jo/chris are a poly relationship! they're gonna be primary background characters and have stories and stuff, like how rich eventually uses less acid and chris gets less actively antagonistic and a downer about everything and that will reflect in his cigarette brand. jodelle is an astronomer who likes a band called the lily pads and makes friends with another character {her name is bowser :) i like bowser}

charlie is resident sad guy. jason has nothing on charlie. he's my sad wet cat who was born in a cardboard box, he's almost like a purse dog to me. he found out his passion wasn't bringing him happiness and then his dissatisfaction for life turned into anger, and now he's stewing in depression as he tries to figure out what he wants to do in life. he may pick spray painting and graffiti back up at some point, but i don't know yet

val! my lovely valentine! a sex worker {another big explanation} who had her kids taken away by ixs mother soon after they were born and really really wants to meet them. depressed, smoker, my lovely valentine needs a hug! she lives with four roommates who are also like her chosen family/friends, two of which are!

maleo and aes! a happy couple who have been together for years! aes is also a sex worker and became friends with val, cheering her up whenever she can. maleo loves his girlfriend so much it's so cute! maleo works out a lot and works as a bouncer for the usual bar/club that val, aes, jade {i love jade, everyone loves jade}, and bowser. aes had gotten everyone to live together and maleo likes to hang out with bowser to read together

bethany!!! i love bethany!!! she's mute and was born without vocal cords, and she signs way too fast since she's just so energetic and happy all the time. only her family can figure out what she's signing and she can slow it down, but she's just amped. she's very creative and she's going to do sculpting later in life! she's friends with jimothy {one of jasons siblings} and sunsn {secret brother to someone :3c } jimothy is blind so she uses a touch based communication for him as sunsn watches beth sign. she learned how to work out and other bodily healthy stuff from her mom adeline and likes to do down time with her dad timothy, her cousin/sister {stella's parents died when she was young and got adopted to addy and tim} is who she looks up to most of the time as the cool cousin/older sister

idi has chronic pain {stomach and joints} and is usually not in the best mood when it flares up. she has a bracelet for her sister and zimmi, but now that i think about it she should have them for her moms too. idi has one friend, miass, and they sure are... enemies to complicated enemies. idi has a business she's passionate about and wants to make it work out, but it takes a lot of planning and miass is the only one willing to help. they annoy each other and are usually on bad terms, but one day they both blink and they go 'when did we do this?' after making out

cassandra was the second character i had ever made for this world so she has a lot going on. but to get down to it: her mom is pretty disconnected and an apathetic drunk so her mother figure was her aunt fraggie. once she was old enough to be trusted to leave the house by herself she gets a girlfriend, but it's not going to work out, but she does a lot of graffiti and spray painting. she's a bit shy but very tired {mainly at her mother} and is a genuinely good person

~ }i{

Congrats on the grade!!! Also I love the neopronouns they're all very good!! :3

All of your characters sound super cool and the world they're in sounds super interesting imo!!!

#sunshine #asks #18+ only #}i{

[hermitdrabbles56]

Oh, if you’re looking for Sicktember specific stuff, how abt Wind has The Sick and Twi makes him the Yeti Soup, which is somewhat similar to Grandmas Soup bc Taste Like Home And Love :)

If just General prompts, what abt Wind being freaked abt Horses because they don’t have those in the great sea :)

I hope you get Brain to write what you would like to :))))

I was waiting to reply to this until I had both written, but my brain is refusing. so I will add to if I ever manage to write the sick fic.

in the meantime? HORSE

Outset Island, what an interesting place to have landed on this new and bizarre journey of theirs. Everywhere smells of salt and fish, the odd trees occasionally dropping massive round nuts. Brightly colored flowers he'd never imagined could exist. And a truly massive, endless, lake. Or as he's been corrected several times already, an ocean. (He's still going to call it a lake just to irritate the veteran) 

As horrifying as the prospect of being surrounded by endless water on a very small mass of land is, it's a very peaceful feeling place. Warm and sunny despite the uncomfortable sand that keeps finding its way into his boots. 

And another pleasant perk? Absolutely nothing to do. So for the first time in weeks, the wayward ranch hand decides to take some time to tend to and absolutely pamper his horse. He's not all that great with explaining their weird journey anyways, so he's more than willing to leave the difficult explanations to the local hero to everyone else. 

"There there, it's okay." Twilight coos as he brushes along Epona's neck as he scratches her cheek a bit, knowing full well she's been on edge since they got here. "You don't have to go anywhere near the water if you don't want to, I know it's scary seeing so much of it." 

Epona gives a little snort and shakes her head before raising it out of his touch. 

"Oh what, you want me to believe you're not a little shaken with all those wary glances?" 

She gives an indignant little huff and raises her head higher as she looks away from him. 

"Well pardon me m'lady, how dare I assume that the great Epona would be scared of a little water." Twilight smirks. "I assume you're not afraid of the portals either?" 

She shuffles her front hooves in place and gives him a pointed look accompanied by snort that borders on mocking. 

"Oh I'm the scared one am I? And you're just pretending for my sake, is that right little miss hardened warrior?" He questions as he rests his hands on his hips. 

With a confident bray she nods her head insistently. Drawing an almost insulted scoff out of her rider. 

"You're unbelievable, I've been pulled through more portals than apples you can count and you say I'm the scared one?" He frowns. 

She gives an argumentative winny and stomps her hoof a bit. 

"Suppose you've just been acting like a baby to get sugar cubes then huh? I guess you won't be needing any more of those?" 

If looks could kill, this horse would be a mass murderer. Stomping her foot again with an insulted snort. 

"No no, little miss hard as nails. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to think I'm coddling the great Epona." 

Twilight steps back with a smirk just as she rears up with a loud winny. Coming down with a hard stomp where he'd been just a moment ago. He knows very well she'd never hurt him no matter how much they argue. But the startled gasp he hears from off behind him, is a reasonable reaction from anyone who's never seen the two of them bicker before. 

Ears flicking a bit he turns to look in the direction of the small voice. Spotting a flash of pale blue as it disappears behind one of the odd looking spiky, fern like bush trees that's a little squaty and a little round. Epona giving a worried little knicker as she pads close to him again. 

"It's alright you two, you can come out, she won't hurt you." 

Very slowly the two figures peer around the odd looking tree. Twilight recognizes the tan skined blondes with bright sea green and blue eyes. He'd be lying if he said he didn't think this world's Link and his little sister were adorable. 

"Sorry if she spooked you, she's a sweetheart I promise." Twilight says with a soft smile as Epona's large head comes to rest on his shoulder. 

"You're..the one they call Rancher right..?" Link questions warily. 

"That I am." He says with a nod and a smile. 

"Why do they call you that?" 

"Because it's what I am, I'm a rancher, also known as a farmer." 

"What's a farmer..?" 

Twilight can't help but chuckle about that. "It's someone who tends to a large amount of land that either grows massive crops, or cares for large herds of animals. For me specifically, I'm a goat herder. But I do other things too." 

"....is that a goat?" Aryll questions as she points to Epona. 

"Nope, this is Epona, she's a horse." He grins. 

"What's a horse?" The little girl asks as she tilts her head a bit. "Also What's a goat if a horse isn't a goat." 

"Well, a goat is a farm animal that produces milk, and in my village they also produce wool that can be used to make clothes. Meanwhile horses are work animals! Epona here carries me on her back, and makes it a lot easier to travel long distances on land. She can also pull carts and wagons if bribed enough." He explains happily as he pats her cheek. 

"...are they all so…big?" Link asks warily. 

"No, not necessarily. Depends on their breed." Twilight explains as he nuzzles into Epona a moment. "She's on the bigger end, she's a full bred war horse in the draft family. Draft horses are some of the biggest and strongest. Though I hear that the war horses of the Gerudo are even more formidable." 

Epona had held her head up pridefully until that last part. Looking at Twilight and giving an insulted snort. 

Twilight just rolls his eyes. "My apologies princess for implying that you aren't the most fearsome and intimidating steed around." 

She gives him an unamused glare. 

"I…can't tell if you're, actually talking to her, or you're fucking crazy.." Link says with a bit of concern. 

Twilight blinks a moment before a snort escapes him and he breaks into a hearty bout of laughter. Epona giving a long suffering sigh of sorts and shaking her head. 

"Crazy it is." Link decides which just makes Twilight laugh harder. Aryll beginning to giggle with him. 

"I- assure you I'm not as insane as I look." Twilight manages as he calms down a bit. "I've known Epona for most of my life, we're apart of each other so you could say we have our own language." 

He'd always felt this way since he was a kid, so at least he has a less insane way to explain that yes, he can talk to his horse. He can talk to any animal that he meets. Infact since arriving he's learned that the seagulls of Outset have rather insulting opinions of everyone but Link and his family. And that the pigs are easily amused by the kids' shenanigans, but he'll keep that to himself. 

"...well..crazy or not. I have more questions." Aryll states. 

"Ask away." He says with an amused smile. 

"Is she soft?" 

"Yes, especially after a good bath." 

"Could she crush a coconut with her stompers?" 

"I uh, I don't know what a coconut? Is? But as long as it's not a rock yes, she can crush things very easily with her hooves." 

"Like skulls?" Link ponders. 

"..I mean..technically." Twilight admits awkwardly as the memory of her getting fed up with a few bokoblins comes to mind. 

"How do you not know what a coconut is?" Aryll frowns. 

"I don't have coconuts where I'm from." 

"How is that possible! Everywhere has coconuts!" 

"Well..we also don't have an ocean in my kingdom. So that's probably why we don't have them." 

"NO OCEAN?!" Both of the kids ask with confusion and a slight bit of horror. 

He shakes his head a bit with an amused smile. "No ocean. Just a very big lake." 

"So can you not swim?" Aryll asks 

"I can swim! There's lots of water, just not this much water." 

"Can she swim?" She asks as she points to Epona. 

Twilight and Epona both shake their heads. "No, she's not a fan of deep water. She'll travel streams and creeks. But if it gets too deep it's a no go." 

"What does she like then?" Link asks. 

"Jumping, obstacle courses, herding and just…running wild through an open field." 

Epona happily dances in place at the thought. 

"What does she eat? Is she like the pigs?" Link asks. 

Twilight gives a soft chuckle. "She can eat meat, but mainly she's vegetarian. Grass, hay, certain fruits and vegetables, and some grains." 

"Sounds boring." Link frowns. 

"Ehh, to us, yes. But to her it's the best thing in the world." 

"....can..can I pet her..?" Aryll asks carefully. 

Twilight looks at her and gives a kind smile. "She would absolutely love that." 

Aryll gives a grin and moves to run forward but Link snatches her up. "Woah woah what! No, absolutely not." 

"But why!!" Aryll wines as she wiggles in his strong hold as he lifts her up off the ground. 

"She seems…plenty nice, but she almost crushed him earlier! She's literally called a war horse and her feet are bigger than your head and that's saying something!" Link defends with a worried tone. 

"Hey your heads bigger than mine! Put me down he said she'd want to be pet!" Aryll grumbles as she starts kicking wildly. 

"No! Absolutely not.." 

"If it helps.." Twilight says calmly, catching the attention of the siblings before it turns into a full squabble. "She may be big, but she's grown up around children and babies. She gives the kids in my village rides all the time. And she's like a mother hen when she's around babies. I know our bickering looked upsetting, but I knew very well how she was going to react to me poking at her. And she would never ever rear up like that around you two had she'd known you were there." 

"Doesn't change the fact that.." 

Link trails off as he watches Epona back away from Twilight. Prancing around in a little circle before lying down in the grass without prompting. Her tail flicking lightly as she gets comfortable. Looking over at the kids with those big brown eyes and nickering softly. 

Very slowly Link sets his little sister down. Swallowing thickly and watching Epona like a hawk. Meanwhile Aryll is all too happy to scamper over to the mare as soon as she's steady on her feet. Stopping just in front of her with a big grin as Twilight crouches down beside her. 

"Just hold your hand out alright? She won't hurt you I promise." 

Aryll does as she's told and her smile gets all the brighter as Epona nuzzles her big head into the girl's tiny hands. Little fingers starting to gently pet and scratch at her short coat, before the kid just giggles and full on hugs her muzzle while petting her cheek. Epona giving a happy little rumble in response. 

The rumbles only continuing when she feels Link's tentative hands gently and hesitantly starting to pet along her neck. Then comb through her coarse mane and gently undo any tangles he finds. 

"Okay…I..I guess you're not all that bad.." Link says quietly. 

Twilight just gives a pleased smile. The moment feeling all too much like home. 

#it's all fluff #just fluff #linked universe #lu twilight #lu wind #lu aryll #lu epona #fics #hermit responds! #hermit writes

[shootsun]

Cowboy au

so i’ve been writing more of that cowboy au, and i’ve also put it up on ao3, under the title This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Two of Us (I Thought You Were Dead), which I will also link below. enjoy my decent into mayhem

------

Part 4 (i think)

----------

MK stumbles out of purple smoke and lands on his face as Six steps gracefully out behind him. The bounty hunter barely manages to turn his snort into a cough as he surveys the tiny town.

They’re not too far out, sitting at the base of a hill just outside of the gates. Already, the people are getting ready for dusk, closing shutters, barring doors, and polishing rifles.

As MK picks himself up and tries dusting off his jeans, a small nickering draws his attention.

“Is… is that my horse?” The deputy blinks, and a muzzle knocks gently against the side of his head as Tianma nickers again.

“You didn’t think we were going to portal the whole way there, did you? That’s a hell of a way to waste power, kid.” Six says, already half into his own saddle.

“I don’t know. You portaled us pretty far last time. Jin and Yin were pretty surprised to see us, that’s for sure.” MK looks back at the town for a moment as Tianma nudges his head with her muzzle again.

“We got thrown off of a moving train. It was a bit of an emergency, kid. It’s not a good idea to use magic over long distances like that, especially not with two people.” Six rolls his eyes as MK leaps into his saddle.

“Demon powers are weird.” MK muses, not noticing the slight wince Six has at his word choice.

“We’re not in China, kid. Americans are so much touchier about…demons. Supernatural sounds…more palatable.” The bounty hunter turns his horse east, and waves for MK to follow him.

“…Okay.”

The deputy turns Tianma’s nose after Six’s back and follows him west.

It takes a few hours for them to get to the casino in question, and MK has to rub his eyes at the shimmering sign.

“Why does it say Supernatural Star Casino and Stanton’s Star Casino? In like. The same place?” MK tilts his head and squints at the wooden sign, trying to make sure his vision wasn’t going.

“Oh, so you’ve got some true sight now? You’re just seeing what’s really there, kid. Don’t worry about it.” MK turns to Six and flinches at the scars that ripple across the supernatural’s face before disappearing.

“Half of everything is a glamour in Stanton. Just don’t focus on anything or anyone for too long or it’ll give you a headache.” The older advises as he guides them to the stables.

“Your…You…Are you?” MK stutters as Six gives him a grin over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about me, boy. We’ve got a job to do.”

“You still haven’t told me what it is.”

“And yet, you followed me all the way out here anyways. You really need to think these things through, kid.” The bounty hunter gives a light tug on his reins, and his horse ambles to a stop as a stable hand rushes out.

Six flicks a coin in the air and as the kid leans back to catch it, he dismounts and waves a hand towards MK, portaling him off of Tianma and onto the dirt.

“C’mon.” The black-clad supernatural mutters as he tugs the disoriented deputy away from their rides.

“We need to get in and out before that glamour fades.”

“You glamoured the coin? Aren’t you supposed to be rolling in dough Mr. Bounty Hunter?” MK raises an eyebrow as the two thread through the crowd back to the glimmering casino up the road.  

 With a scoff, Six levels a look over his shoulder. “I got debts to settle, and moreover, what I do with my money ain’t your business, kid.”

“You just made such a big point about it when you were trying to get me to be your apprentice. You saying it was all tall tales to sell a pitch?” MK needles, and he can see the supernatural’s brains starting to steam.

“Gods, you’re really his student, aren’t you? Good at getting on my last nerve, the both of you.” Six scowls as the pair stop in front of a large building, one side with a sign proclaiming ‘Hotel’ and the other loudly depicting the still shimmering ‘Casino’ sign.

Six steps to the ‘Casino’ side, and without a word knocks thrice on the door. The wood ripples and shifts beneath his hand with each strike until a metal door stands where the old wooden one had.

“Open up, we’re here to play, Stanton!” Six calls through the door, and it creaks open to reveal a large man dressed in a vest, slacks, with his sleeves rolled up and bound, looking the very picture of an overworked accountant, were it not for the fact he was seven foot and bright blue with a wild, wiry beard and bald as an egg.

“I’ve told you before Six, it’s Sandy. Stanton’s for the business side of things.” The giant rumbles, and Six laughs as he shoulders his way into the hall.

MK gives a tiny nod to the supernatural before he trails after Six, slipping his hat off as he steps into the crowed casino.

The first thing that assaults his senses is the noise, the ringing of bells and men jeering echoes in the room, and he winces as a crowd erupts into a roar as someone is tackled over a table.

“Hurry up, kid. We’ve gotta talk to Plata. He’s got the details we need.” Six juts a thumb past the horde of gamblers to a room half hidden behind cigar smoke.

With a sinking feeling, MK coughs into his hat, and waves some of the smoke out of his face as he steps after the supernatural.  

The door swings shut behind him, and he can’t help the sigh of relief as the sound and smoke fade into the background. MK opens his eyes to a gun between his eyes and the Silver Demon Twin, Yin, wielding the pistol with a fang filled grin.

“Ah. Plata. Silver. Yin. Got it.” MK nods. He really should’ve taken Mei up on those Spanish lessons.

“You’ve got the dumbest look on yer face, boy.” Yin sneers.

“Where’s your brother? Still in jail?” MK snaps, and Yin bristles slightly before ignoring him completely and turning to glaring at the bounty hunter beside him.    

“What’s this then? I thought you said you were bringing the Monkey King?” Yin says, and gestures for the deputy to sit in a rickety chair opposite a far comfier looking one. Mk scowls back at the supernatural as he stiffly complies.

“It was a copycat, Plata. The kid is the one who’s been causing all the trouble.” Six says, moving behind MK, placing a warning hand on his shoulder as the deputy grits his teeth and tries to subtly reach for Iron Shot.

“Wha-nuh-uh! I have not! And, and you don’t have any proof either!” Mk spins to face Six with a wild look in his eyes, before turning to Yin, who only watches the exchange with a disbelieving scowl.

“This one? He’s too much a daddy’s boy to cause any trouble. I’d be too, if my pa were the Lawman.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My pa was a scholar and I haven’t been raising any ruckus as the Monkey Kid!” Mk yells, and Yin cackles as the deputy realizes his mistake.

“Is that what you’re calling yourself now? Fitting, for a kid like yerself.” Six mutters before grabbing MK’s wrist and hoisting it into the air. Iron Shot responds, swirling out of its holster and into the deputy’s raised hand automatically, before sparking and turning a dull brassy colour once it touched the kid’s palm.

“The kid has Iron Shot. Monkey King’s Iron Shot.” Yin says with a touch of awe colouring his voice.

“I… no, I got this from the Lawman!” Mk desperately bids for a distraction, trying to wrench his arm out of the bounty hunter’s hold to no avail.

“He matches the description.” Six continues, watching Yin’s face as the blue demon contemplates something before grinning wildly.

“There’s half a dozen other monkey supernaturals in these parts, it coulda been any-”

Six winks at MK and then the door shudders, once, twice, and then flies inwards with a bang, slamming so hard into the back wall, it cracks the plaster and knocks off the assorted pinup photos lining the place, sending shards of glass skittering across the floor.    

“Howdy there, folks! Any of y’all see my deputy?” Wukong strolls into the room amidst a rolling cloud of dust and cigar smoke, a great big grin slapped across his face and the most deadly glint in his eye MK had ever seen.

“Ah! There ya are, boy!” There’s nothing but silence as the golden-haired lawman crunches his boot over shattered glass, all but slapping Six’s hands off of MK.

Six grins and winks at the supernatural, and Wukong bares his teeth in a manner that one would never call a smile.

“H-hey, Sherriff.” The deputy swallows nervously as his mentor turns to him. The glare softens marginally, but when MK gives a crooked grin, the harsh glint returns, making the deputy’s stomach sink.

“Hold on, now,” Yin stammers. “We were having a talk here,”

“And now it’s over.” Wukong’s grin slips and Yin turns pale.    

“R-right.” The supernatural stutters and flinches as Wukong starts back towards the hole he made in the wall, all but dragging MK with him.

The walk back through the casino is silent, barring the mass of groaning bodies that liter the entire hall, one man even spinning lazily from the shoddy chandelier, notably missing one of his boots and half his slacks beneath the knee.

“Always a pleasure to see you, Wukong.” Sandy sighs as they pass, the blue giant sadly wiping the remains of a splintered bar.

“Come by and see Pigsy sometime soon, ya’ hear? The old man misses you. He’s gettin’ lonesome without Trip talking his ear off all night and day.”

“You tell him I’ll be by soon.” Sandy says as they slip out the metal door, half torn off its hinges. It stiltedly swings shut behind with a resounding clang that echoes in the empty street.

The lawman side eyes his ward and says plainly, “You are in so much trouble.”

The door slides off its hinges behind them, making MK scrunch up his shoulders at the loud noise.

“Oops?” He nervously chuckles. 

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/shootsun/689528967336722432?source=share

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40491852/chapters/101443677

#lmk mk #lmk wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk sun wukong #lmk xiaotian #lmk #lmk macaque #lmk mac #lmk six eared macaque #lmk liu er mihou #lmk yin #lmk silver demon #lmk sandy #lmk cowboy au #cowboy au #i am in brain rot #again #this wont match up properly in ao3 until the next update lol #my writing

[cassandrajoybellbittner]

Runaway Wolf - Chapter 23b

*Warning: Adult Content*

Levi Blackman

Once I knew Kyle was settled down in the room I when to search for Cyrus.

Being here was not good for Kyle I was starting to realize, all these new faces around would keep him coiled tight like this.

So it was best to just go home where he knew he would be safe and he trusted people.

I found Cyrus sitting in a very spacious living room... his head turned when I entered.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I replied and sank back in the couch next to him.

The T.V. was on some random station but neither of us was looking at it.

“He doesn’t like me very much that mate of yours,” Cyrus joked trying to keep the mood light.

I sighed.

“I don’t think he likes anyone right now.”

“Well, all except you that is,” he stated nudging me with his elbow.

The room was quiet for a while as we sat together.

I saw a few of his pack member’s walk by and greet the both of us when I remembered something.

The room was quiet for a while as we sat together.

I saw a few of his pack member’s walk by and greet the both of us when I remembered something.

“What happened to that chick form earlier?”

I jumped up in my seat.

“You mean Nadia? I caught her again and sent her to a special facility for her kind.”

His body was totally relaxed as he talked so I did the same.

Just the thought of her around Kyle made my blood boil.

Who knows she could have been the one torturing my mate.

“Good because it was her kind that did this to Kyle,” I muttered settling back in the couch drawing my knees close to my chest.

“I kind of figured as much.”

I snapped my head in his direction.

“You did?”

He nodded.

“Well I do apprehend these women a lot and I come across a lot of victims who have suffered at their hands. I believe Lakota is one as well, explains why he never shifts from his wolf form, poor pup,” he explained to me.

I just sat there staring at him.

‘Lakota is a werewolf?’

Well he certainly knew how to mask his human scent pretty well.

And that would also explain why my front door was unlocked when no one was home.

“Where is he by the way?” I asked.

“Who, the pup? He’s taken a real liking to the horses and sleeps out in the stable with them. I would say there all getting along swimmingly. You can’t even take one for a ride without them wanting Lakota by their side, which is weird and goes against nature but okay,” he chuckled with a shrug.

I smiled shaking my head.

Well I guess it was good that he took to this place, I could tell the people here were really nice from the few that have greeted me since I woke up.

“So... I had Alpha Redding call your Alpha and he told me that they were coming in the next few days or so.”

I nodded.

“Cool. So. Why do you call your dad so formally?”

I noticed his body became stiff beside me.

“How did you find that out? Outsiders aren’t supposed to know that,” he groaned.

“Your dad told me,” I said and he visually relaxed.

“Oh, that’s interesting.”

“Maybe your pack and mine have an alliance or the former Alpha and your father were friends or something.”

He nodded.

“Maybe.”

It was silence for a while before I broke it to ask what I was dying to.

“You’re an Elder, aren’t you?” the statement brought Cyrus’s head snapping my way.

“You are one observant pup, aren’t you?”

I shrugged.

“You can say that.”

This brought a smile to his face.

“So what are you going to do about your mate? It seems that he’s not a very trusting fellow, right now,” Cyrus changed the subject.

I sighed, slumping back into the couch.

“Your right. I can’t imagine what those women did to him and in a way I don’t want to know but it was bad. I’m just hoping that he’ll feel more comfortable at home, with his family and friends, you know?” I explained and he nodded.  

‘That was if he could stand being near any of them,’ I thought.

“Syrithes aren’t a joke. I know you probably don’t want to hear this but if he was in their keeping nothing good came from it. We have a lot of rescues from those deranged bitches and not one has fully recovered from the mental or physical trauma that was done to them. So the best advice I can give you is don’t give up on him no matter what because he’s been through hell and back I would assume.”

With that I watched him stand and stretch with a big yawn.

“Oh and don’t tell anyone I’m an Elder, that’s supposed to be a secret,” he smirked with a wink and left out of the room.

As I sat alone I thought about all that had happen in such a short time.

Wondering what all my friends were up to?

Wondering if they noticed I was gone or not… of course they noticed.

Those guys were like hound dogs that knew how to sniff me out when I was hiding from them but there was no sniffing me now.

I had left is such a hurry I wonder if they hate me for it.

Not to mention Matthew’s death would have caused questions, well not that they knew he was dead, since hunters had their own clean up crew, just missing along with me and Kyle.

Maybe they thought we all were on some kind of vacation.

“Ugh,” I exclaimed dropping my head back on the edge of the couch.

I missed everyone.

I missed the busyness of the city, even Pope.

Spirits help me.

But maybe it was time to move on again, with Kyle this time and be a proper mated couple.

Spirits know how long I’ve waited for it.

Yeah, it was defiantly time.

We have been though too much to let this perfect moment pass us by.

Kyle was mine now and he was going nowhere.