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#hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have but i have it
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Finding Light In The Darkness
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Anon requested angst, I wrote it... I hope this suffices!
I secretley loved to write this one-shot, not sure if I'll make another part to it, but let me know your thoughts.
Pairings: caitlin foord x teen reader, katie mccabe x teen reader Warnings: heavy angst.
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You've always found life hard, you'd not exactly had the best start in life, it had been cruel and you'd always felt unwanted.
You finally found a real family when you're taken in by your adoptive parents, Katie and Caitlin. You finally thought you had found happiness.
It was all going so great, until it wasn't.
Word began to get round your school about your recent adoption, your true idenity was whispered throughout the school and as a result, you were also left with hateful comments all over your social media.
It was easy to ignore at first, you blocked them out. You remembered the words that your mam would always tell you.
"Ignore them, Y/N/N. They're just jealous"
So you did just that, you put your head down and focused on the positive things in life, things seemed better... Or at least so you thought.
You should have known that nothing in life was so simple, nothing was.
"You don't deserve to be adopted by them"
"You're nothing but a waste of space"
"They'll send you back eventually"
Sitting there on your bed, you couldn't help but scroll through the various messages that bombarded your recent Instagram post, it was a harmless family photo. Why was there such negative comments on it?
The tears were quick to well up in your eyes as you read each and every single comment, feeling the weight of them like a heavy burden on your shoulders.
Through the last several months, you had picked up on several bad habits that you were successfully able to hide from your mom's.
You were desperate for the escape, you craved something to numb the pain and you found yourself reaching for your vape that you had cleverly hidden away.
Taking a deep inhale, you let the thick clouds of smoke fill your room but it did very little to ease the ache in your heart.
It just wasn't enough anymore and you needed something stronger.
Routing through your wardrobe, you successfully found the bottle of Vodka that you'd hidden and you don't waste any time in unscrewing the cap of it and taking a short swig. The liquor brought a burning sensation to your throat, but at least it did the trick to provide a tempory distraction.
Being the daughter of two professional athletes, you should have known how dangerous it was to vape, but the delicious flavours were enough to keep you hooked and keep going back for more.
Taking another swig of the bottle, your tears falling freely while your lost in your own thoughts, so you don't hear the door creak open and your mum poking her head round the door.
"You okay, kiddo? You're quiet today" Caitlins' expression is full of concern while her voice is gentle and soothing, yet to notice the bottle of vodka that you're quick to shove behind your pillow.
Your heart clenched at the worry in the older woman's eyes and your quick to wipe away the tears, trying to compose yourself, "Uh yeah, I'm fine, Mum. It's just been a bit of a rough day" You replied, trying to force a smile on your face which didn't quite reach your eyes.
Caitlin stepped closer towards where you slumped on your bed, her hand reaching out to brush a loose strand of hair out of your eyes, "You don't seem fine, kiddo. We've barely seen you since you got in from school" she noted, gently. "What happened at school? You can talk to me, kiddo"
You were hesistant to tell either of your mums what was going on, you didn't want to worry either of them with the weight of your own struggles pressing down on them, "Just the usual stuff, I'm okay" You mumbled, fumbling with your hands.
Caitlin didn't seem quite so convinced as she furrowed her eyebrows in concern, "Y/N/N, kiddo. Please talk to me" she tried to get you to open up, but it wasn't any use.
"No, I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine!" Your quick to lash out, flinching and pulling your hand away when your mum tried to hold it as you flash her a scowl, "I don't want to talk, mum. Please just leave me alone!"
The Australian woman is shocked with the change of your behaviour, "Y/N, I just want to help you, but I can't do that if you won’t talk to me, kiddo" she told you honestly.
"I told you that I'm fine, I don't want to talk about anything!" Your still screaming and lashing out, the spirit bottle falling down and it was now on clear view for your mum to be able to see.
Before you have chance to hide it again, your mum noticed it, "Y/N, have you been drinking?" she asked, the concern was clear in her voice, "How... Where did you even get this?"
Having heard the commotion from downstairs, Katie rushed upstairs to find out what was going on, shocked to hear the tailend of the conversation.
"You've been drinking?!" Katie was enraged, shocked to find you with a bottle of vodka that you had somehow got your hands on.
"It's not a big deal" You shrugged your shoulders, trying to avoid giving any type of explanation about this.
Katie's eyes widened in disbelief with your sudden streak of reckless behaviour, "Not a big deal? It is a big deal when you're 15 years old!" she said, frustrated with your carless attitude, "How could you be so stupid to do something like this-- What else have you been doing?!"
"Katie! Calm down. We need to talk about this rationally" Caitlin turned to look at her partner, knowing it wouldn't be any good to be frustrated about any of this, "Kiddo, talk to us, please? Where did you get the alcohol? You shouldn't be drinking when your underage, kiddo"
"I'm... I'm sorry" The tears stream down your face, the raw vunerability evident in your voice, clear as day.
"Talk to us kiddo" Caitlin's gentle presence was like a lifeline and you found yourself able to open up to them both.
"The hates too much, I can't cope... The bullies at school, the trolls online; I needed to find a way to numb the pain. It's too much" You tearfully confess to them, no matter how much you try and keep the tears at bay, they just just keep streaming down your face.
"It's okay. Its' going to all be okay" Caitlin is quick to embrace her daughter in her arms, wanting to just take her pain away.
"Oh kiddo" Katie spoke up, her worry now outweighing her initial frustration that she had at first, "Kiddo, I know it's a lot to deal with, but listen to me, yeah? Drinking isn't something that will make the pain go away, nothing like that. We're here for you, no matter what"
"Exactly, we're here for you. We'll go down to the school and we'll sort it out. It's going to be okay, kiddo" Caitlin chimed in, brushing your loose hairs out of your face as she just held you in your arms.
You felt a wave of relief wash over you now that you had confessed what had been going on; You were finally safe, you had your two mums' by your side and you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would now have the strength to face them head on.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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pinkmoongrace · 3 months
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from Lana's homemade Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have music video
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rahabq · 8 months
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maniccherrygirl · 8 months
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asliceofheavenog · 2 years
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i’ve been tearing around in my fucking nightgown
24/7 sylvia plath
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newwavesylviaplath · 15 days
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a modern day woman with a weak constitution
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radishprincesss · 5 days
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lana at coachella <3
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years
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The thing about assigned sex labels (AFAB/AMAB) is that a lot of its usefulness comes from discussions around medicine (though there are still issues with this). In a social sense, AFAB/AMAB isn't very useful to describe peoples' lived experience.
Assigned sex happens to people as babies, and "AFAB" and "AMAB" describe very broadly sex categories. Assigned sex acknowledges past assignment, not current reality with regards to one's sex and/or gender.
I find that when people try to apply sex assignment to social settings (e.g., "all AFABs experience this!"), it comes very close not only to misgendering, but also to sex essentialism in many cases.
I simply think there are too many assumptions made about what every person AMAB has (such as a certain body, a certain gender, and certain lived experiences) and what every person AFAB has. We cannot make sweeping generalizations about people, and I think a lot of people seem to forget this especially with regards to transition and/or "rare" sexes.
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babydolly77 · 6 months
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24/7 sylvia plath
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borntowildfire · 6 months
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tomgrcg · 11 months
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we might actually have the nero and sporus resolution next week. they've alluded to every part of that story this season except the marriage. it's their wedding episode.
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californiaprincessss · 6 months
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rahabq · 9 months
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ch3rrygirl333 · 8 days
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hope is dangerous thing for a woman like me to have.
so i dont.
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radishprincesss · 1 month
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roses, bel air, take me there 𓇢𓆸
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