#honestly what did we expect with Mark’s comeback

[ggukkiedae]

anything for you, noona

date: september 4, 2018

warning/s: mentions of hate towards hannah being added into 127

notes from cia: i am in big chenhan mood rn i honestly just here like we should give hannah happy moments 😬 anyway, yeah

dialogue in italics are spoken in english, bold dialogues are spoken in chinese, korean age is still applied here, gif is from google

word count: 2.8k

hannah gets a birthday surprise that she honestly never expected

The day was going swimmingly well for Hannah, much to her surprise.

Not only did Mark and her manager somehow manage to buy breakfast from her favourite bakery (with the best apple tarts she knows), but she was also first in line for hair and makeup, which was the spot she always wanted because it gave her longer and undisturbed time to do what she wants before going to work. When she got to the van, Jeno and Jaemin had saved her her preferred seat despite the usual random seating arrangements they had.

Something was strange, but she didn’t quite know what was happening.

Even then, Hannah focused on working through the day as well as she could, especially because she was promoting with Dream. As much as she loved her 127 members, promoting with Dream always seemed less stressful. If it was because of many fans disliking the fact she was added into 127, she would never admit it. (It was.)

On the topic of comments from fans, Hannah absentmindedly pulled out her phone and opened her secret fan account. She was free until the live interview and stage anyway since rehearsals had already finished.

“Nope,” Renjun’s hand was quick to take her phone from her hand, “no way.”

She gave him a look, raising her eyebrow. “Injun, give me my phone back.”

“No can do, Hannah,” he lightly tapped her head with the corner of her phone then sat across from her, “because I know the things you look at whenever you pull that bird app out.”

She rolled her eyes at him and attempted to snatch her phone back, but he held it further from her. Her glare was met with a smug smirk.

Her friendship with Renjun had definitely evolved since their last comeback as NCT Dream. He was more quippy and less hesitant around her, and he took her teasing and snark with grace.

“You know,” she leaned forward like she was telling a secret, “we all know you just want to use my account to search for yourself.”

“Very funny,” Renjun deadpanned before shaking his head and handing her back her phone, “but, seriously. How many times do we all have to tell you not to look? Do you remember what happened just three months ago?”

“Not gonna happen again,” Hannah crossed her legs with a proud grin, “I’m way over that now.”

Renjun snorted at her, “I’d bet. With all the hyungs watching over you like hawks, I don’t think you can open your fan account or distance yourself again any time soon.”

She just laughed, throwing her feet on his lap, giving him a smile as he glared at her for it. Even then, Renjun placed his hands on her ankles, lightly drumming his fingers on her and humming We Go Up.

She leaned her head on the wall and closed her eyes, thinking about the past few months of training and promoting with the 127 members. It was a big change compared to how it was with the Dreamies.

On instinct, she would do her usual habits of making sure everyone had food and started eating before she would eat, cleaning and chiding when the others don’t clean, and discussing their schedules with managers among other habits, but the older members were quick to catch on to that.

Taeyong would tell her to leave the schedules and agenda to him, Jaehyun decided he would not take a bite of food until she started eating, Doyoung nagged her for nagging, and Johnny would actually physically pick her up to stop her mid-mom tendencies. Even Jungwoo, who started preparing with them for his 127 debut, would try to get her to not act too mature.

Not to mention Haechan stuck by her side the entire time, just hovering like he usually did. He always took those almost three months he was older than her by very seriously.

They all were attempting to baby her like how Jaemin or Haechan would, and it made her miss the casualness with the dreamies and being able to mother her two babies.

“Noona!”

Hannah opened her eyes to find Chenle running over to her. She took her legs off of Renjun so Chenle could pass and sit next to her.

“Yes?”

“You’re coming to my house today, right?” He gave her a hopeful smile. “You have to! The others said they’d come over. It’s for Chenji This and That!”

Hannah patted his cheek, “And what is this episode about?”

“We’re gonna try and cook for you guys,” he told her.

Hannah chuckled and leaned to give Chenle a kiss on the forehead, which he happily bent to receive.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” she smiled at him, “just as long as the managers know.”

“Jisung’s telling them right now!”

Just then, a stage manager knocked on the door and stuck his head in. “NCT Dream on standby! 15 minutes!”

“Thank you,” Mark bowed to the stage manager then turned to face everyone, “Alright guys, last hair and makeup check from the noonas then we go. We can do a quick stretch when we’re nearer to the stage.”

“You guys heard the man,” Hannah got up, pulling Chenle and Renjun up with her, “let’s go.”

The We Go Up stage was pre-recorded, so she didn’t need to worry about that. The 1,2,3 stage, on the other hand, was not pre-recorded. It was a strange situation since it was usually the other way around, but she just shrugged it off. Maybe it was the company’s newest wey of making sure the best performance if the title track is what the public sees.

Thankfully, the 1,2,3 stage was going well so far until the bridge where she peacefully sang her line and was going to kneel down like they all would so Haechan would have his Michael Jackson moment, but she felt herself being pulled into a hug.

To her surprise, Haechan had kept her standing with him and pinched her cheek while singing “saengil chukhahae!” instead of naega isseulkae.

She gave him a surprised look while muscle memory brought her back into the choreography. Some of their laughs sounded in her in-ears, meaning it was heard in the performance, but she didn’t mind. She didn’t even process the rest of the performance.

It was her birthday?

Somehow, she was able to dance on auto-pilot while mentally checking her calendar. It was the 4th. It was September 4th, her birthday. That’s why the boys were being extra nice to her.

The end of the song jostled out of her thoughts because, once again, instead of kneeling for the end like she usually would, multiple sets of hands kept her up, and she was brought into the centre of a group hug while Chenle changed a word for his last line, “Noona, just don’t move.”

She really couldn’t move, they were all squishing her in a hug, and she could feel Jaemin on his toes and rubbing his cheek on the top of her head. They started to topple over, making her laugh while she told everyone to get into position for We Go Up, which they’d still be dancing along to so the audience in the studio had something to watch.

The performance went by fast, and she gave the boys a look once they got backstage. Before she could say anything though, Mark yelled.

“1, 2, 3!”

The sound of six boys yelling the happy birthday song as all but Jeno, who had MC duties, followed her back into the green room, garnering some attention from staff and other idols around them.

The door opened, and she jumped back in surprise when confetti appeared and her manager carried a cake towards her. There was even a box of cupcakes on the table next to the door.

“Oh my god,” she laughed before gratefully accepting the cake and blowing out the candle, “I genuinely forgot what day it was today.”

“We know,” Jaemin hugged her from behind, “that was the goal.”

“That’s why we’re all going to Chenle’s house later,” Jisung grinned.

Renjun nudged the maknae while Chenle whacked his arm before looking at Hannah, “We wanted to cook for you because you always cook for us.”

“Let her breathe, guys,” Mark laughed and pried Jaemin off of her, “let the officially 19-year-old breathe.”

“Did you like my surprise?” Haechan asked her, making her turn around to face him.

She kicked him in the shin, “I was surprised! You didn’t warn me, I probably looked stupid!”

While Haechan overdramatically held his leg and complained about the pain, she just sighed and looked at everyone.

“Thank you guys, I really appreciate this.”

“Yeah, don’t get sappy on us,” Renjun stuck his finger into her cake’s frosting and rubbed it on her nose. A silence passed between everyone as they watched Hannah blink slowly and hand the cake to a now quiet Haechan who was watching with wide eyes.

“Hwang Renjun, you have three seconds to run,” she, much to the staff’s dismay, grabbed a cupcake and started running after Renjun who yelled and ran away from her and down the hallway.

“You said I have three seconds!” “I counted three seconds!”

The rest of the boys watched in amusement before turning to Chenle.

“Not the distraction I was hoping for,” he began, “but more entertaining for sure. Haechan hyung, you keep Noona unsuspicious. Jaemin hyung, you have everyone’s gifts, right? Can you message Jeno hyung and remind them to keep those hidden? Mark hyung, you’re on vlog duty, and Renjun hyung, too, when he comes back hopefully alive. Jaemin hyung, Jisung, and I will go ahead to set everything up.”

The five boys nodded at each other, ready for their surprise for Hannah.

“When I said keep Noona unsuspicious, I didn’t mean blindfold her.”

Chenle’s voice reached Hannah’s ears the moment the car doors opened. She snorted at the younger boy’s accusatory tone and the following sounds of Haechan defending himself.

A hand that she immediately recognized as Jeno’s due to their matching pinky rings held hers as he assisted her out of the car. She missed a step, making her stumble forward. An extra set of hands caught her, taking place on her waist as they steadied her.

“Careful, Little Na,” Jaemin’s voice spoke from right in front of her. “We don’t want the birthday girl getting hurt.”

“Maybe if you guys took this blindfold off,” she poked forward, smirking when she felt Jaemin’s chest and heard his small grunt of surprise.

A chuckle from next to her caught her attention, making her snap her head in that direction. Mark.

“As you guys can see,” Mark explained, likely talking to a camera as a different pair of hands took hers from Jeno, “Hannah has absolutely no clue what is going on, and Chenle is somehow guiding her while walking backwards without tripping.”

“It’s his house,” she could imagine Jeno shrugging.

She just shook her head in amusement and focused on where her feet was going, following Chenle’s quiet directions of where to place her steps.

The sound of the door opening was immediately followed by the smell of Chinese food filling her senses. It seemed a lot compared to what she originally thought her two kids were going to cook.

Suddenly, she could hear Jisung’s hushed whispers speaking to Chenle. The latter let go of her hands while someone—she assumed Jisung— stood by her side.

“You’re gonna love this, Noona,” Jisung looped his arm through hers and brought her a few steps forward.

“I know I will,” she laughed, “I can smell food that I didn’t think you two would think of cooking.”

“About that,” he sounded sheepish, “we actually didn’t cook you food. We have a different birthday surprise.”

With that, Jisung gently tugged her blindfold off. She was met with Chenle’s couch filled with toys and small clothes. She looked at it confused as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“I’m pretty sure I won’t fit in those,” she noted as five other boys stood by her and Jisung.

“No,” Jisung smiled before pointing down the hallway, “but they’d fit him.”

Hannah laughed and turned her head, expecting to see maybe Chenle in teenager-sized versions of the baby clothes in front of her, but she was met with another sight.

Chenle did come out from the hallway, but in casual clothes. No, the only thing different was what he had in his arms. A small puppy rested close to his chest, seemingly just waking up. Its tail wagged as soon as it noticed Hannah, much to her surprise.

Jisung gently pulled her arm, making her sit on the floor while Chenle mirrored their actions from where he stood. He gently placed the puppy on the ground.

“Go on,” Chenle encouraged the puppy, “go to your new mom.”

“Mom?” Hannah asked as the small puppy ran right to her, resting itself on her legs and looking up at her expectantly.

She picked him up as the other members gathered around her, sitting on the floor with her. Mark was filming her as she picked up the puppy and brought it close to her face, smiling as it licked her. Jaemin, on the other hand, was already looking at the little dog clothes while Renjun and Haechan were picking which toy to try out with the puppy first.

“Hi,” she smiled at the puppy, letting out a small laugh as it started licking her nose, “you’re an excited puppy, aren’t you?”

“And he’s yours,” Chenle approached, sitting in front of her. “Happy birthday, Noona.”

“Chenle,” she pulled him forward with her free arm, giving him a hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “why are you so sweet?”

“I heard from Yoonmi that puppies help relieve stress and anxiety,” he grinned at her, “I just want you to feel better.”

“Noona,” Jisung poked her cheek, “I helped, too! I help choose him, and I got all the clothes and toys and other stuff!”

Hannah chuckled, turning to kiss Jisung’s cheek as well, “You’re sweet, too, Sungie.”

“So,” Mark’s narration caught her attention, “Hannah finally received the gift Chenle and Jisung have been preparing since June. What are you gonna name him, Hans?”

She looked up at Mark, seeing a proud smile on his face, one that made him look like a big brother watching over his little siblings. It clicked in her head, already knowing what to name her new puppy.

“Minnie,” she smiled, “I’m calling him Minnie.”

Everyone cheered at that. Jeno looked at her with a smile as he patted Minnie’s head, “I think you should let Minnie’s uncles play with him before they explode from cuteness aggression.”

The uncles in question were the three who were looking through Minnie’s possessions which were all apparently purchased by Jisung. Hannah laughed at their excited looks and let Minnie on the ground.

“I get him first!” Haechan yelled, immediately being countered by Renjun and Jaemin. She laughed while getting up.

“I’ll go get us food, you can open presents after,” Jeno headed to the kitchen, dragging Jisung with him.

Mark laughed at her confused look as he shut off the camera, “You didn’t expect us to let the maknaes outdo us, did you?”

“I kind of thought you all contributed to this.”

“No, this is all ChenJi, you can watch it when they upload it,” Mark gave her a rare full hug, discreetly pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “Happy birthday, little sister.”

With that, he walked to the kitchen to get food, as well, leaving her in the living room with a satisfied smile. As much as Mark and her joked around and messed with each other, he had never forgotten to treat her like she was his own little sister when it counts, ever since they first met. She was thankful for it.

“Noona,” Chenle called her attention, a knowing smile on his face, “Minnie? Like Minhyung?”

“I don’t say it much,” Hannah shrugged, “but I’m actually really glad to have him as a big brother. I do look up to him, you know?”

Chenle nodded, “I know.”

“Never tell him I said that,” she laughed while watching Chenle open his small side bag, “What are you doing?”

“I wrote you something,” Chenle shyly handed her a small brown envelope. She looked at him curiously, but he just smiled at her. “Read it before you go to sleep.”

“I will,” she pulled him into a proper hug, “Thank you, Lele.”

“Anything for you, Noona.”

(Jeno smiled as he saw Hannah hugging Chenle before he turned to Jisung, nudging the younger boy. “How’d you get Minnie to run straight to Hannah? I’m pretty sure Renjun had food in his pocket.”

Jisung snorted. “Chenle stole one of Noona’s sweaters every week and had Minnie sleep in it. I didn’t think it would work, but it apparently did.”)

taglist: @1-800-enhypennabi @strwberrydinosaur @sunflower-0180 @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @world-full-of-roses @stopeatread @allthings-fandoms

drop an ask or a dm if you wanna be added or taken out of the taglist 🥰 requests are also open!

#hannah.chenhan #hannah.wegoup #hannah #lee hannah #nct female member #nct female addition #nct dream 8th member

[nymrs]

#1. UNFAITHFUL | Kylian Mbappé

Summary: above

Genre: angst

Pairings: Kylian Mbappé x female reader

The entrance door clicked open. He had a hard time finding the keyhole, probably still tipsy from his night out. "Bébé? Why aren’t you sleeping? It’s 5am. What made you wake up this early?", he asked as he entered the living room of your shared apartment. If he only knew you haven’t slept a single second. The room was dark and silent, only a few candles lightening up the room, the music you’ve been playing was almost too quiet to hear. He only saw your silhouette in front of the window, the moonlight shining right on you. Your back was turned to him and you were refusing to turn around. "Are you drinking? What did I miss, are we already celebrating our anniversary?", he joked the moment he realised you held a glass of wine in your hand. Yes, the next weekend would mark your three years anniversary. But it wouldn’t even get this far. You scoffed and took another sip. "I'm celebrating my comeback to the world of singles." Obviously nothing Kylian expected to hear, you could tell he was lost for words. "Wha- what? Y/N, what are you even talking about?" Slowly turning around, you looked him dead in the eyes. He took a step back when he saw the blurred mascara under your eyes that left marks of the already dried out tears you’ve been crying the entire night. "Instead of making a scene I decided to pack your belongings so you could leave as soon as possible", you informed and nodded towards the bags you’ve placed on the other side of the room. Kylian stared at you in disbelief, "Are you serious right now? What are you doing this for?" Your wine glass dropped onto the floor, the red liquid pouring all over the ground. "Y/N, what the fuck?! What got into you?" The sadness you felt earlier turned into nothing but anger and hate. "What I’m doing this for? You’re honestly asking me what I'm doing this for?", your voice got louder with every word. You took a few steps towards him, but still left enough space between you two. Kylian bluntly looked at you in shock before you threw your phone into him. "Reason enough?", you cried out. He picked up your phone that landed on the floor, only to see an instagram reel that showed him all snuggled up with another woman. She was sitting on his lap, they’ve been whispering sweet nothings into each others ear, then she started tugging at his shirt and leaned in for a kiss. "Y/N, I'm so sorry", he sighed, running his hands through his face. "I don’t need your fucking apologies Kylian, grab your damn things and leave!"

"Bébé, I know this shouldn’t have happened, but I regretted it the moment I realised what I was doing. At this point of the night I got absolutely smashed. I immediately told her to leave and haven’t been drinking after", he tried to explain himself but you couldn’t even bother to listen. "It didn’t mean anything to me, I promise."

"The only thing that doesn’t seem to mean anything to you is our relationship, the bond we had, the life we’ve built together. If you think being drunk is an excuse for cheating, then why haven’t I cheated every time I was black out drunk? Why were you the only person I was always thinking about, the only one I wanted to go home to? Trust me, I had a lot of opportunities to do what you did, but I didn’t. Because I truly loved you." You were trying to hold back the tears that threatened to roll down every second. Even being in the same room as Kylian right now, you couldn’t stand it. You needed him to go.

"I love you Y/N, it was just a moment of weakness. It’ll never happen again, I swear on my life." He tried to keep up with you as you were walking up and down the room. When he finally placed his hands on your shoulder in order to calm you down and look at him, you absolutely lost it. "Don’t fucking touch me", you exclaimed and pushed him away, "You humiliated me Kylian! The whole world knows what you’ve done!" All the articles that have been written in the last few hours popped up in your head. "Football star Kylian Mbappé apparently cheating on singer and actress Y/N Y/L/N." "Are (your ship name) over?" "Kylian Mbappé enjoying his freedom after ending his relationship of three years with singer Y/N Y/L/N." Even your manager already called you, asking you to make a statement saying the two of you have broken up some time ago, to make it look like you’re not a victim of betrayal. Only thinking about all those interviewers and paparazzi asking about Kylian made you feel sick already. You turned your back to him again, hearing him sobbing and sniffing. "Grab your bags and go. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear from you", you spoke up, surprisingly in a calm voice. The tears you’ve tried to avoid slowly ran down your cheeks. You heard him hesitatingly walking to the other side of the room, his crying got harder when he took his stuff. "I'm sorry. I’m really sorry what I’ve done. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me someday. I love you", was the last thing he said before he stepped towards the door and left.

#football imagine #kylian mbappé #kylian x you #kylian imagines #kylian mbappe #kylian fanfic #kylian x reader #kylian smut #mbappe imagine #mbappe x you #mbappe x reader #mbappe smut #mbappe x oc #mbappe psg #mbappe fanfic #mbappe fluff #mbappé #mbappe one shot #kylian mbappé imagine #kylian mbappé smut #kylian mbappé fluff #kylian mbappé x reader #mbappe angst #imagine #imagines #soccer imagine #Football Imagines #football #soccer #one shot

[casablancarossa]

Taemin leaving SM; a retrospective rant from a severely uneducated and overly caffeinated fan.

I have thoughts about Taemin leaving SM and by extention Onew too. Might as well drag Minho and Key into this.

Since this is majorly about Taemin, let's talk about him first.

Taemin & SM (pre-NGDA era)

Taemin has been with the company for 16 years, closer to 19 if you count his trainee days. As an older shawol (LLO-era, got me whipped BAD), it was seriously out of the blue that Taemin would be the first to debut solo. SM at the time (i.e in their prime) was a vocal powerhouse and I genuinely thought Jonghyun would be the first one to go solo. SM made the right decision dedicating time and resources in letting him shine and 'Ace' was a phenomenal debut album for Taemin and really stamped that 'Taemin vibe/sound' we all know and love' Generally speaking SM not the best for promotions/scheduling, but the company still had their shit together when 'Move' came out, it felt like it was everywhere and surpassed the noteriety Guilty had achieved. I feel like when Taemin does variety shows, up to now, Move was always the most referenced and remembered act, even amongst the junior idols, that he did and thats because SM did go hard on promoting that song and picked a quiet month to do that comback in.

Taemin vs SM (during/post-NGDA era)

Somewhere along the lines, SM really dropped the ball with promoting Act 1 especially during Taemin's 'Criminal' comeback. They heavily prioritized their newer groups and suddenly their legendary acts were getting shafted with poor promotions and what felt like less dedicated management and resources. I recall, SM postponed the release for Criminal, squashed Taemin in Super-M activties and focused on their new acts while simultaneously over working them (honestly Mark has had such a hectic few years). My internal speculation/assumtion is that, SM figured that acts like SuJu, EXO, SHINee, GG and RV and solo/ duo units, wouldn't need as much dedicated promotions because they are iconic acts and they are fully dependant on fanbases to generate the buzz. Which leads me to my main hypothesis that after a few years of being active, SM really does not care about an artist anymore. Mind you artists that put them on the fucking map to begin with. SM won't double down on these artists because they believe they can't appeal to a younger audience. With the shitshow that was the Criminal promotions. SM really didn't do any better with 'Advice'. Pinning aespa's comeback a day before was a low blow instead of focusing on the talent that's about to go into the military, if they are aware enough to give Taemin a mini comeback so his relevancy sticks throughout his service, why damage it with an aespa release (that felt like it was to tactically avoid facing off the BTS release later than month) and basically doing NOTHING bar announcing pre-orders. Then we enter the 'Guilty' era. Which as we saw was a hit, but mainly because SM capitalized on the power of social media trends, placing Taemin in VARIOUS online contents and slowly dropped related media during winter. I mean we are still not over his 'Guilty' era, the Metamorph concert still has us at a chokehold. I 'd like to think that Taemin became more vocal in what he wanted and expected out of SM when he came back. Obviously the priority to them is/was SHINee and that's fair. DCM did really well with promos (althoughlike most shawols would say, LSM did have a major part to play with that). HOWEVER it was their 15th anniversary comeback last year and I feel like SM treated it like it was just another comeback instead of a major milestone. There were no interviews or press releases for Hard, when events were happening, it felt like it was gate kept to just local fans, like it made me feel like I was living under a rock because it was so last minute and I was not aware of anything. I want to believe that just because SM did an okay job now, excuses them for the last 3 years. What's worse is it's undeniable, Taemin lives to perform and it's no secret he sets some high goals and standard for himself and probably the toll 1) not getting to preform Guilty in GDA, despite wanting to and 2) probably not getting a solid backing for touring globally, despite very vocal fan support. I am not sure if anyone saw that SM forecast for the first two quarters of 2024, but it genuinely feels like Taemin knows that him and SHINee will not be a priority after promotions are finished. I hope I am not dense enough to assume that obviously SHINee has spoken about this privately and internally for a while now. It's really something you can't avoid talking about. Taemin has spoken to his hyungs, people in his circle inside and outside of the industry. Hopefully he is well informed and supported and it seems definite that SHINee is still active as a group.

Key vs SM.

Someone has already mentioned it but if anyone was leaving SM for creative freedom, I genuinely thought it would be Key. 'Bad Love' was an amazing release and Key fought with SM to release with his own brand/aesthetic. Because Taemin's imminent departure is so publicized, SM might be keeping the talks with Minho and Key super under wraps and trying to offer a btter deal. Although recently, bar Good and Great, SM has been using Key as a 'Variety' idol than an actual singer, which sucks because Key is super talented and if SM doesn't recognize that star power now, good luck to them. Also apparently, Kany is signed with BPM? I know she is close with SHInee in general, but I would assume it'd be Key joining her ya'know?

Minho vs SM.

Imma put it out there, the promotions for 'Stay for a Night' was lackluster? I feel like they treat solo Minho and SHINee Minho as two separate entities. Like yes there is a dualism of being a group preformer vs solo preformer. But on the rare occasion SHINee does get promoted Minho seems to get more attention, but as a solo artist, I don't feel the same love for his solo promotions. I hope Minho gets to write and contribute more, which I believe he does in the background. If he does stick to SM, I pray they open other avenues of artistry, primarily, he does really well with his acting roles and yes it really helps that he does fit the 'K-drama ML' look.

Onew vs SM

I feel like Onew gets the short-end of the stick out of the rest of SHINee, never mind that the man has the voice of an angel, but again, he is another one that SM never bothered to market right. It kind of make sense that he would want to leave the company and seek ones that would expand his career inside and outside of singing and while the one good thing SM did recently is make sure Onew was healing and taking care of himself, recent SHINee promo activities feels like they are treating Onew's break as a hush hush 'taboo topic' Honestly, bring back the era where our idols would randomly disappear during promotions because they were casted to be on-stage again. I am still forever clinging onto Onew singing opera, because despite him not being trained for that, he has the talent to do so. It'd be nice to hear him produce his own music, or give acting another shot.

#shinee #shinee taemin #lee taemin #shinee key #kim kibum #shinee minho #choi minho #shinee onew #lee jinki #shawol #THE FANDOM IS HAVIING A MELTDOWN

[sirianasims]

Chapter 20

Get the Party Started

I clearly remember how I felt when I got my acceptance letter from Foxbury. I knew that this would mark the true beginning of my life. I would get my dream career, everything was going according to plan.

Even though I had assumed, perhaps a bit arrogantly, that I would get in, I still did a little happy dance in front of the mailbox.

My parents were proud and happy for me, but I suspect they were also looking forward to finally spending some more time alone.

After all, they started dating when my brother was a baby and had never lived alone together.

My own love life was less happy. My girlfriend, Cecilia, who I had been dating for almost a year, told me we needed to talk. I knew what was coming.

She had also been accepted into her dream university, and wanted us to break up before we left.

I knew she was right. We were too young for long distance, and we would both be better off being free while meeting so many new people. Neither of us wanted a messy breakup later in case one of us found someone new.

I knew it was for the best, but it still hurt. Cecilia was my first long-term girlfriend, and I really did love her.

We hung out for a few hours, just enjoying each other’s company one last time. Neither of us wanted her to leave and make it final.

I’m not ashamed to admit that there were some tears when we said goodbye, but I still wished her all the best at her university.

Even harder was saying goodbye to Maggie. She was very old, much older than we ever expected a pitbull to get, and I knew she didn’t have much time left. My parents promised to spoil her completely.

Despite the pain of saying goodbye to everyone, I still felt great when I arrived at Foxbury. I knew that this was where I belonged, my destiny. I had dreamed of this for years.

I immediately started preparing for my first classes, I knew I wanted to be in the top as always.

I also walked around campus, familiarising myself with the new surroundings, especially the common area, Larry’s Lagoon, where the canteen was, as well as a gym, a robotics lab, and a study area.

The very first week, I met Jamie. She just walked over and started talking to me during lunch. At first I wasn’t sure what to make of her. Surely, no one could be that outgoing? The next day, she came over and asked to join me for my morning workout.

She was pretty fit, and it was nice with some company. She could even give me some tips.

I managed a new personal record with her guidance.

At first, I was a little worried that maybe she was interested in me, but it was quickly apparent that she wasn’t into guys at all. We even ended up discussing ex-girlfriends, and I told her all about Cecilia.

Cecilia and I knew each other from school, and had been flirting for a while before meeting up at a coffee shop near the park. I was surprised when she kissed me as a greeting. She then insisted we found a more private place.

We sat in a nearby picnic area. I was a bit shy, and a little startled by her taking the initiative like that, so I nervously messed around on my phone, but Cecilia wasn’t having it.

She demanded my attention. It was honestly refreshing. The few girls I had briefly dated before her were the quiet types, and since I also tend to be quiet until I get to know people, the dates had been pretty lame.

But Cecilia challenged me. She didn’t take no for an answer and she was smart and witty.

Flirting with her was like fencing, both of us taking turns attacking and parrying, throwing smart-ass comebacks at each other.

I don’t believe in soulmates, but if I did, I might have said that she was mine. We matched so well.

When we got tired of bantering, she simply pulled me in for a kiss. No mind games, no insisting that I take the initiative just because I’m the guy.

It was one of the things I loved about her. The simplicity. Everything was so easy with her.

Well, it also didn’t hurt that she was a great kisser.

Talking about Cecilia made me a little sad, but Jamie managed to cheer me up with a few anecdotes of terrible dates she had been on, and just like that, we were friends.

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #duchelligen3 #cora duchelli #zane fyres-munch #eric duchelli #cecilia bell #first person pov is here to stay #the curse of being hot is thinking everyone is into you #bonus info cecilia is the granddaughter of michael bell and speaks in a slight henford accent

[why-so-serious-lucifer]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: NCT Dream

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. With that being said, enjoy!

So, we’re talking about NCT Dream today; here are my credentials. I haven’t been interested in them for very long, to be honest. It’s only been since around the beginning / middle of June, when I was recommended their videos. Since then, though, I’ve listened to a decent amount of their songs (mostly title tracks but a few b-sides too), and while I wouldn’t call myself an NCTzen, I would definitely call myself a fan.

They debuted in 2016, at around ages 14-16 (and now, no longer being those ages, I wince internally), with the song Chewing Gum, which I did like. It has a nice mix of hip-hop and singing, but it’s definitely not as much my style as their later work. For obvious reasons, it feels childish, and I’ve never been a fan of sing talk.

The other two songs in their first single “The First”, are My First And Last and Dunk Shot. My First & Last starts out with a surprisingly hard-hitting beat, reminiscent of SHINee, and I liked it a lot more than I expected. Dunk Shot is actually my favorite, continuing the SHINee vibe, which of course I loved, hence the blog name.

What stuck out to me the most in these early songs is how distinctive and honestly great their voices are, even as young as they were. (I know I keep emphasizing age here, but being a celebrity at 14…just let that sink in.) I can almost always tell who’s singing, even not knowing their voices very well.

The voices who stood out the most, though, are probably Mark and Haechan. Haechan’s voice has a great balance of nasality and chest voice, and as a singer myself, I think he has great control. Mark’s is very different from that, but unlike many rappers, I almost always enjoy his parts in the songs; his breaks are good, he has flow, and a good singing voice too. Renjun, Chenle, Jisung, Jeno, and Jaemin have good voices too (especially Renjun’s lower tones, which offer a good contrast)

The next comeback is We Young, which, despite its somewhat silly intro, manages to balance the youthful feeling and their talents well. It feels like a day at the beach or a road trip, and also a bit like Seventeen. Walk You Home is my favorite b-side from the EP, because I’m a sucker for acoustic guitar, but I also love the anthemic nature of Trigger The Fever.

I know I’ve heaped praise on them so far, but as a first year of material, these songs are really good. Unfortunately though, we then get to NCT Empathy 2018, and their song Go, which feels far more like an NCT 127 song than anything to do with Dream…which unfortunately isn’t a good thing. After all the beautiful harmonizing and the floating melodies, the hip hop beat and pop-trap mix feels especially harsh.

We Go Up follows the hip-hop sound that Go established, although the chorus, though less melodic than the other ones before, is alright. The b-sides are also less melodic but better than the title; Dear Dream especially is very sweet and makes me smile, especially the “I’ll be your home”.

Some of their best songs are the nostalgic, feel good, and somewhat understated ones, with a stripped back production that allows the Dreamies’ voices to carry the weight and harmonize together, turning something average into something quite good, like Candle Light, written when Mark left the group due to becoming an adult. (He did return, although not for two years, and his absence is clearly felt; the songs feel a bit less full.)

Fireflies is also sweet; the full chorus is a welcome return to form and it becomes an anthem in its later moments. Boom, meanwhile, returns to the hip-hop sound, and although the choruses are alright, it’s also not close to their best. We Boom (Boom’s album)’s b-sides are also (mostly) not it. They embrace the NCT 127 idea of uncomfortable sing talk and waste their great voices, Stronger especially. Dream Run is pretty good, though.

Ridin’ is not their best, and again I’m reminded that they have so much potential that isn’t being used. The chorus is almost great and usually I can articulate better, but something stops me from liking it more.

Hot Sauce marks….well the return of Mark (sorry), and as happy as I am to hear him bring more balance, I wish he could’ve gotten a better song for that. The sing talking is back in spades and its genuinely grating on the ears, which I never thought I’d say about an NCT Dream song. The b-sides are alright, with All Night Long, Be There For You, and especially Irreplaceable (which feels a lot like old Dream with its bright energy) as some nice hidden gems.

Hello Future is, at last, a title track that reflects the best of NCT Dream: upbeat, hopeful, and optimistic, It’s delightfully odd and a bit off-kilter, and manages to blend hip-hop, straight pop, and even a little bit of the dreaded sing-talk in to make an honestly delightful song, which isn’t an easy talk. Bungee is a great b-side from this album too.

But, of course, this can’t last, and we’re back to the sing-talk with Glitch Mode, which I’ll admit is marginally better than Hot Sauce but still gets on my nerves because it has a pretty good build-up in the pre-chorus, but just no pay off, which is one of my pet peeves, I’ll admit.

The b-sides are all pretty good (barring Fire Alarm), and I especially liked the sleepy warmth of Teddy Bear, the upbeat drive of Better Than Gold, the chill road trip vibes of Drive, and the electro / R & B influences of On The Way. In fact, their b-sides after Hot Sauce are almost all good, and even the ones that don’t end up on my playlist, I don’t usually find myself skipping much.

Candy is a cover of H.O.T., but I really like it. It’s very much a holiday feeling song, which surprisingly I, a certified Christmas cynic, don’t mind. It’s fun and doesn’t take itself too seriously, which is a must with this kind of subject matter.

Graduation isn’t technically a single, but since it has an MV (and because I’m biased but let’s pretend I have a legit reason), I’m treating it as such. In my opinion, it’s one of Dream’s best songs. What could so easily become just another easy listening b-side turns into an honestly lovely ballad with their voices adding sweeps of genuine emotion. Overall, I think that it’s one of their most honest songs, which makes sense if you know the backstory, and it reminds me of my own (quite imminent) graduation, which means I never fail to sing along.

Broken Melodies starts like an understated ballad, but soon spirals into an anthemic song with an earworm of a chorus, a great chorus, and excellent use of their voices, which sound imbued with warmth and better than ever. It’s no wonder that I became a fan after listening to this song.

ISTJ, the actual single from the album, isn’t as good as Broken Melodies, but it’s miles ahead of Hot Sauce and Glitch Mode; the chorus is sprawling and definitely has me tapping my head. I’m not a fan of the intro though. As for the b-sides, Blue Wave has a nice beachside beat, but my favorite is Like We Just Met, which was written by the band members themselves, and feels like a warm hug or a walk by the water.

Overall, again I’m super glad I did this. I’ve added a lot of b-sides and early songs of theirs to my playlists and gained a whole new respect for the members’ voices. I think after my deep dive, I can consider myself an NCTzen, at least of NCT Dream, although that doesn’t extend to the other subunits yet.

So my top five songs by NCT Dream are Graduation, Broken Melodies, Fireflies, Hello Future, and Trigger The Fever / Dunk Shot (because I couldn’t choose). Overall, NCT Dream gets an 8.5/10 from me, because they are pretty good most of the time but when they lean into the sing talk…well, I don’t need to repeat myself. I do really enjoy the greater part of their discography though, and when they stick to their strengths, they’re hard to beat.

See you next time for a girl group!

#k-pop #k pop boy groups #nct dream #nct #nctzen #mark lee #haechan #jaemin #jisung #jeno #chenle #renjun #K-pop deep dive #review #Spotify

[mouton-e]

quick n silly violinist!chuuya idea

so i lied and i think i actually do want to post some writing here because twitter honestly is a nightmare in so many ways... anyway, here's some skk au where chuuya is a violinist and dazai is just fucking around in college or something (idk not important). for anyone that doesn't know, it's not uncommon for violinists/violists to have a small bruise around the left jawline area as a result of playing for a long time. the funny thing is they can look like hickeys, so that's what people sometimes call them (violin/viola hickeys). i was just thinking about it after seeing some online (ray chen's 'play with ray' reel) and this scenario came to me -- this was only supposed to be like 200-300 words max but here we are with 1k LOL. will probably touch up and upload to ao3 a bit later but for now:

the first time dazai noticed the small bruise by chuuya's lower jaw, he thought oh. well. good for him and whoever got to give him that very visible mark. maybe it was just a one-night stand, in which case again, good for chuuya for getting some. did not upset dazai at all. no, he was not experiencing odd twinges in his gut each time he made accidental eye-contact with the hickey.

the next day chuuya was still sporting it, in the exact same spot and just as vivid as the previous day. dazai didn't want to say he was curious, but he couldn't help his mind going into overdrive trying to figure out the individual behind the hickeys. if chuuya noticed a layer of distraction lining dazai's usual childish comebacks, he didn't comment.

a week later chuuya still had that damn hickey, and at this point dazai was more scoffing at this evidently enthusiastic hickey-giver than anything else because yeah, we get it, you love to kiss and suck and bite on the incredibly attractive area below the stupid chibi's jawline and leave a mark for everyone to see, but honestly couldn't you be a little more creative on where you leave them each time? like he has a whole neck free for access, not to mention collarbones too, how could one possibly refrain from— and dazai had the horrible realisation that he was. very jealous. and possibly in love.

the only solution was to avoid chuuya, of course. the alternative would be dazai struggling not to blush and stumble over his words when he made eye contact with the redhead, so dazai would just simply not see him. yes, this was fine. this was great! no chuuya, no annoying feelings or unwanted physiological reactions.

(lie. not seeing chuuya did not stop the images of the hickey from haunting dazai, or causing his face to heat up.)

it came as a relief disappointment when chuuya finally confronted him, around two weeks later. dazai had burrowed himself into a nook in the university library, content to play a mindless game on his laptop while surrounded by piles of unopened books, realising too late the sound of familiar purposeful footsteps. he was seized by the arm and tugged out the library door, whines of "ow, oww chuuya," gone unheard.

chuuya let go of him once they were in a secluded corner, then whirled around with hands on his hips.

"why are you avoiding me?" he asked. his expression was expectant, mouth set to curl into a scowl.

dazai discreetly flicked his eyes towards the underside of chuuya's jaw. it was still fucking there. he turned his chin away in a display of haughtiness. "i have to get back to studying. i don't have time for chatting with slugs."

he made to leave, but chuuya grabbed his arm again.

"no, you dick, you are not slipping your way out of this. i bet you weren't even studying, anyway. why are you avoiding me?" then a slight pause. "did i do something?"

oh. no scowl, then. instead chuuya's lips were pursed, brows knitted in something like... worry?

dazai panicked. "no," he said quickly. "well, you didn't do anything, it's more like the doing of one such thing unto you that, you know, has rendered me-"

"what the fuck are you talking about?"

now chuuya was peering at him suspiciously and dazai just knew he had to look away, away from the piercing blue or else he would be an embarrassing red — yes, good, away from the eyes and past the chin and the jaw and oh fuck, there's the fucking hickey i need to stop looking at it oh god why can't i look away-

"why are you staring at-" chuuya looked down at himself in confusion. "what are you looking at?"

dazai snapped his eyes up, guilty as if he had just been caught stealing from the cookie jar. chuuya looked more concerned than ever.

"dazai," he said slowly, eyes narrowed, "are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

defeated, dazai sighed. he squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath through his nose. then, fixing chuuya with what he hoped was a look of nonchalance, dazai asked the million-dollar question: "who gave you that?"

"... gave me what?"

he gestured vaguely towards the chuuya's neck. "the... hickey," he finished sullenly.

chuuya looked bewildered. he blinked for a few seconds. then, like he was gradually reaching the solution to a puzzle, "are you asking about my violin hickey?"

dazai blinked back. "huh?"

he pointed at it directly. "this?"

"... yes?"

"ah." the redhead seemed to be biting back a grin. "i see now."

chuuya inched forward and laid a hand on dazai's shoulder. the latter tried to pretend he wasn't having trouble regulating his breathing. "dazai," chuuya said. "this is a bruise that resulted from practising violin. not from... somebody's mouth."

"oh," dazai said dumbly.

"you'll see that quite a few violinists and violists will have it."

"oh," he said again.

chuuya was definitely smiling now. and dazai's face was definitely red.

"is this why you've been avoiding me?" chuuya asked, voice wavering on a laugh.

dazai scowled. "fine, chibikko. yes, i was avoiding you because i couldn't stand seeing that bruise on full display every day, and— don't laugh, you're being mean!"

chuuya had tipped forward, head shaking against dazai's chest as he failed to contain his giggles. "you were so disturbed by a hickey that you couldn't even talk to me?"

"chuuuyaa, you don't understand! it was excruciating seeing the thing because my brain kept telling me i should be the one to administer it!"

the laughter died down. chuuya looked up, eyes widening with the realisation of dazai's words. his hand was still clutching the taller's shoulder, leaving their faces just a breadth apart. dazai watched in fascination (and maybe a little satisfaction at having the upper hand again) as a healthy blush began to spread across chuuya's cheeks. "o-oh," he echoed.

"yeah," dazai breathed. "so what does chuuya say?" he leaned down slightly, a hand straying by the other's waist. "can i have a taste?"

after a second, wherein chuuya's gaze shifted from brown eyes to lips to eyes again, he dipped his head back down to rest against dazai's chest with a huff. "not here, you idiot. i'm not having you kiss me for the first time in the middle of this damn building."

"gasp, chuuya, my kiss is that special to you?"

"shut up and get your things, shitty mackerel."

dazai beamed.

#mouwrites #bsd #skk #potentially cringe #my sillies #haughty jealous and in denial dazai is so fun to write #wrote this pretty quickly as it's just for fun so please don't take any mischaracterisation to heart #if you do have any problems with what i've written though i'm happy to discuss it Civilly #tags to be updated idk

[ballsballsbowls]

I lied and I'm making a new thread for this because I was going to keep it brief and I am not succeeding.

I think it's actually a sign that Katie was a fundamentally good person because she was not particularly good at harassing me (either that or I was simply not a very good mark. Or both.) The fact that I, again, knew we were not friends and knew there was no benign reason she was interacting with me probably did not make her life any easier.

The first one, she caught me in a big group of people before Choir class and said, loudly, "I just wanted to know if you're okay with me dating Matt. Since you're, you know, obsessed with him."

I wish I could say that I had a snappy comeback, but I was more confused than anything. I sputtered something once I realized what she was on about, but she got people talking about it, people outside of our class, and that was what mattered.

I suspect, for all her bluster, that she knew that I wasn't wrong about Matt, because she deliberately chose to approach me in a class that we didn't share with Matt and didn't include any of his immediate friends.

She did that one a few more times, asking me loudly how I felt about it in classes with bigger groups of students, and she would go stand and be so lovey-dovey (within the bounds of acceptable PDA) while standing in front of my locker, because Matt's locker was inexplicably 5 lockers down from mine for two consecutive years in spite of our names not being anywhere near each other alphabetically (I never did figure out how that happened).

The most memorable one, though, was she came into Honors English with a folded-up note and gave it to me, and she and two of her buds wanted me to read it while they sat and watched. I opened it up and glanced at it to see...a note allegedly from a secret admirer asking me to wait around after school so we could talk. I still can't tell you what the intention was if I stayed after school.

Now like...so even if this WAS real, I cannot overstate how incredibly burned out by school I was at this point. I think my first thought was, "if this IS real somehow, I cannot believe someone would think I would be impressed by a Secret Admirer right now. I HAVE a secret admirer and it's not really all that great. I desperately want someone who isn't afraid to loudly say that they want to be seen with me and like me for who I am. A Secret Admirer doesn't mean dick to me." And genuinely was like, disgusted by the cowardice this would have required. But I knew it wasn't real.

I glanced at it, looked back up at 3 sets of expectant eyes going, "WELL? What do you think? What are you going to say?"

I looked her dead in the eye and went, "...don't you think he's got awfully girly handwriting? Pretty weird, if you ask me."

This shut all of them pretty fast, and I'm, to this day, unsure how they thought someone in Honors classes with them would fall for something like that? I was a year younger than them but honestly?

I threw the note away immediately after class, which I sort of regret. Not because I thought it would bring back any good memories, but because I wish I could see it the way it actually looked, not the way I remember it my head from 2 decades out, a poor mental copy of a poor mental copy of a poor mental copy.

This was also extremely frustrating for me because there'd very much been a detente on people bullying me since 10th grade, because everyone who'd been a dick to me had either graduated, been expelled, or had Matt say or do SOMETHING to them that it stopped.

Matt's besties did see this happen, but I am unsure if he ever found out about it or if the three of them just chalked it up to Girls Being Girls.

So, I told you all of this to tell you about prom, which I'll do the next day or so.

#I think the major disconnect in high school was my classmates thought it was sad that I didn't date any of them #or have any close friends in my class #but I saw it as a numbers game and it wasn't 41 kids really #there were about 20 of us who had all of our classes together as honors students #and so there were 8-9 other girls out of that and I didn't like any of THEM so I felt it was a numbers game #so i just saw it as 'well none of these 8-10 girls are similar enough to me to hang out so we don't hang out' #and none of these 8-10 guys who were honors students were interesting or showed any interest but Matt #and Matt had gotten made fun of for interacting with me and I didn't like anyone else so of COURSE I wouldn't date them #tl;dr they though the problem was me and I was VERY sure the problem was them #stop b think of the children #please ask me to kill for you

[multifandom-re-write-01]

Random Things Nari Said During The Roblox Concert

“G’day everyone, how’s it going?”

“I never thought I would play this game, but alas…”

"Did I know that this game existed? Honestly...no, I'm busy preparing comebacks for you guys, you think I have time to play games?"

“JAEHYUN, WHY ARE YOU IN THE POOL? IS THAT A POOL? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?”

“Mork Leeee and all the ladieesss~”

“JOHNNY SUH, MOVE YOUR ASS I’M TRYING TO PLAY!”

“As expected, Doyoungie and Taeyongie bantering - WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAEYONG IS DRUNK? YAH, PABO, DON’T RUN AWAY FROM ME -”

“Guys, be honest, most of you have never played this game, right? You’re giving me vibes of newbies on this game -”

“Ahh, it would have been nice if Haechanie is here…”

“Aigoo, Jungwoo, hiiii~! ^0^”

“Taeil Oppa, you should show off your vocals live! Go, go, go!”

“If anyone teases me about my skills on this, I’m taking away your rights of being a czennie.”

“Ooh, hi Bubu~ ^_^”

“그냥 불러봐 AYOOOOO -”

“So…any Aussies around?”

“ANYONE SPEAK CHINESE? LET’S CONFUSE EVERYONE -”

“This game is…something…I wouldn’t play it all the time, but it looks okay.”

“JOHNNY SUH STOP FOLLOWING ME -”

“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood -”

“Aiyaaa….AIYAAAA!”

*when Mark fell down the hole* “NAAUURR MY CANADIAN BRO, I’M COMING FOR YOU!” *Nari proceeds to jump down the hole with Mark* "MARK LEE, DID YOU JUST CURSE?!"

“WHEN CAN I GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA -”

"I LOVE TACOS, CZENNIE, NOTICE ME, DON'T BOTHER WITH JOHNNY THE PABO -"

“I’m going to go and bother Doyoungie, hehehe…I should recruit Jungwoo and Bubu.”

“JOHNNY SUH, I SWEAR TO GOD -”

“...You’re still here, Jaehyun? Do you even know how to talk in this? You’re just being silent. Yah, you better not be ignoring your Noona -”

“LISTEN TO AYO, PHANTOM, AND DREAMIE’S FUTURE COMEBACK SONG, IT’S A BOP.”

"Aigooooo look at my Jungwoo flirt with the czennies~"

"Where're all the men at, here? What about ladies? Any-anyone wanna talk to me?" *cue a mass of people gathering around Nari* "Oh hold up, my social battery went down FAST" *runs away from the crowd*

"Jesus Christ -!" "Mork Lee, don't use the Lord's name loosely like that!"

"Yutaaaaa!"

*Nari and Yuta speaking to each other in Japanese* "This game is so unique, would you play this, Yuta?" "This is confusing, I don't know what to do." "Should we run around acting like we know what to do?" "Okay, let's pretend!" "Ha, the fans are confused at what we're talking about." "Let's tell them that we were talking about our next comeback." "Alright. It's in Yuta I trust that we can deceive our czennies"

“Ah…usually I’m not chaotic like this, there must be something in the American air…”

Masterlist

Tags: @multifandomania06 @stopeatread @sunflower-0180

A/N: If I can't tag you in posts, you have to go on settings and change the option of letting people tag/find you on Tumblr ^^

#nct 24th member #nct female addition #nct female member #nct female oc #nari:: 127 #nari x doyoung #nari x yuta #nari x taeyong #nari x johnny #nari x taeil #nari x jungwoo #nari x jaehyun #nari x mark #nari x haechan #nct 127 female addition #nct 127 female member #nct 127 female oc #nari:: 2023

[yuamusuzuran]

2023... but told in my hyperfixations

Just a post that allows me to track all of my various hyperfixations that have helped me pass this grueling and busy year

HADES (Supergiant Game)

I played this game for at least 6 months non-stop. I was obsessed with everything about it, from story, gameplay all the way to relationships and dialogue. I was ESPECIALLY whipped for PatroChilles and ThanZag. My major fixation spurs were January and February as well as May. I still play Hades when I need to decompress, I have almost 200h in it and I have 100% achievements which is my first time ever

Captive Prince series by C. S. Pacat

I read this trilogy during February and when I tell you I was smacked in the face by how good it was. From intrigue, plot and political drama all the way to relationships. But ofc I was mostly blown away by the relationship between Damen and Laurent, like, I DID NOT EXPECT to love their relationship so much. I WAS IN SHAMBLES BECAUSE OF THEIR GENTLE LOVE. Couldn't recover for weeks

KINGDOM - Dystopia

One of the things I was really looking forward to. The whole album blew me away and the Japanese aesthetic was top notch. How much my boys have grown, I was in shambles

GENSHIN IMPACT!!!!!!!

What can I say, I ENDED UP LOOKING INTO IT. I didn't start officially playing it yet, but I went through the lore, studied all characters and their relationships and ofc got sucked into shipping side of the fandom (it's not that hard to intrigue me with that)

I was specifically OBSESSED with DainKae (Dainsleif x Kaeya), XiaoAether, HaiKaveh and CynoNari. And as new patches come by and Fointaine was introduced, my fixation periods always come back with new content. And right now, I'm all about Wriollette. Fixation started in July and has been coming and going as the new content was introduced (when Furina's backstory was introduced, I was bawling)

RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE MOVIE!!!!

I was prepared for this movie since last year BUT THE ACTUAL THING BLEW ME AWAY! I was so happy to watch it finally, I LOVED the chemistry and even though I have a couple of grievances with it, I think the whole message was portrayed nicely! I won't tell you how many times I've watched the movie, it's literally my comfort media. The main fixation period was before the release and entire August.

Avatar: The Way of Water

I was very late with my watch BUT BOY WAS I OBSESSED AND HIT LIKE A TRUCK WITH IT. The movie had everything I expected it to have and it really made me feel a lot of things. I was so devastated over Teyam, I had SO MANY theories about other three sequels and honestly, I'm still not over how good that movie is. And now, that I know the third sequel is coming around Christmas of 2025, I know the first part of 2026 will be marked by that movie alone. Major fixation period was end of August and ENTIRE September

KINGDOM - Coup d'Etat

Every time Kingdom has a comeback I go into brainrot, deal with it. This comeback was special because it was the last part of their History of Kingdom series and we got SO MANY information on their lore that also prepared us for Season 2! I cannot tell you how insufferable I'll become when the next series of albums starts. As far as this album goes, though, I had no complaints, another non-skip album and Coup d'Etat was a perfect showcase of their growth in the last 3 years. So yeah, majority of my October and November was occupied by them.

And finally.... HEAVEN OFFICIAL'S BLESSING (TGCF)

This story pounced on me like a tiger from an ambush and honestly, I'm not complaining. I know all spoilers, I'm SO OBSESSED with HuaLian and am currently on the 2nd book. I think I'll be even more obsessed when I live though all the important moments though books and I CAN GUARANTEE my interest will once again peak when I start watching donghua (I'm waiting for season 2 to finish so I can watch both Chinese and English, oh, and Japanese will be watched eventually). And, ofc, I'm planning to buy all eight English volumes!!

#tgcf #kingdom kpop #atwow #rwrb film #genshin impact #captive prince #hades supergiant #hyperfixation

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, Vigilantes 67, Replies Part 1

1) “Oh, pop, nice to see you, the last you showed up Rome was being besieged by the Goths. I remember seeing you in the front lines- Anyway, regardless of that, if one thing I`m sure of is that this won`t be a chapter about you.”- Well, she certainly tried to make it one about her, but then Makoto showed up and basically hijacked both the chapter and her place in the narrative, from Pop’s perspective. 2) “IT`S HER

SHE`S HERE

WHAT THE FUCKMAKOTO IS HERE

JUST LIKE THAT”- And this is before she actually turns up in the chapter, which in a sense kinda foreshadows how Pop feels overshadowed by more ‘successful’ women like her, compared to her own accomplishments. 3) “ALRIGHT I WASN`T EXPECTING THE FIRST FUCKING PAGE OF THIS CHAPTER TO BRING BACK MAKOTO, NOR FOR IT TO GIVE AN INFODUMP OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED THOSE PAST TWO YEARS”- And you certainly weren’t expecting it to actually bring her back to Japan at the end, huh? You and Pop both, it seems.

4) “And alright, we`re straight to judging Makoto for her shady business, I`m glad that she`s now canonically a criminal.”- Honestly, I’d say the criticisms against Makoto have some sort of reverse logic there. They seem to be arguing that you can’t unbiasedly judge hero society when you yourself are so involved in it, as opposed to a more neutral party, but being involved in the industry and having first-hand experience of the job and its limits would actually give you a fairly solid foundation to identify the failings and shortcomings where the system simply doesn’t work, as well as how more radical solutions could tackle these glaring issues.

5) “Seems like the 200 eons since Makoto last showed her face in this manga hasn`t affected her sassiness”- Like fine wine’s flavour, age only further increases the depth of Makoto’s sassy comebacks

6) “It seems like you`re now highly interested in leaving a mark in history, in leaving some sort of impact, interesting… You were focused in success before, but this seems a bit more focused than your previous motivation. Shame seeing you discover yourself wasn`t interesting.”- It also contrasts against Pop’s own desire to ‘leave her mark’ somehow, and gain a measure of success in this life, either with her Idol career, or more preferably with her relationship with Koichi.

7) “Oh- okay, so she`s not back per see, Furuhashi is only making sure that we remember who she is and where she`s at, since the gogolplex of years since she left japan might have made our minds forget her.

I was toyed with. I was fooled again. I thought she was back already, but alas, I was the clown that slipped in a banana peel for the amusement of my overlords.”- And then he toyed with you some more by the end, just like Pop’s feelings for Koichi were fooled around with. Truly, we are all but playthings in Furuhashi’s hands 8) “ITS THE GRANDMAS

THEY ARE TALL AS FUCK WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT WHY DID THEY GO FROM 8 TO 17 YEARS OLD IN JUST TWO YEARS WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON HERE”- Kids grow up so fast, but in fairness, Pop and the twins are sitting down/leaning forward, so they actually look taller than they are. Still one hell of a growth spurt though.

9) “…

IS THIS GOING TO BE A POP CHAPTER AFTER ALL?

AM I A JOKE TO YOU FURUHASHI? YOU SICK, TWISTED GOD OF EVIL, AT LEAST LET ME GRAB MY BEARINGS BEFORE PULLING THE RUG AGAIN”- Technically, it’s a Pop and Makoto chapter, so I hope you didn’t get comfortable on that rug there.

10) “Sounds like Furuhashi is really focused on the notion of “all things must come to an end” that the manga is trying to set, but honestly, setting an upcoming end for Narufest can actually be a good idea, Pop is starting to face change, and like Koichi, she`s going to need to focus on what comes next, since she seems to be reluctant about moving forward from their teenage years”- Change can be the hardest thing to face, but not the worst thing that can happen to you. In the end, you’d be surprised how much better you can come off for it, though right now, Pop’s not enjoying the changes that are happening in her life…

11) “I’m fine

look at me, I don’t even care

no care at all

what? me wanting to see they getting together?

nonsense, there’s no way that would be remotely interesting”- Well, at least we aren’t missing Koichi and Pop’s relationship getting to the ‘getting together’ stage, though the duel hurdles of Pop’s shyness and self-image and Koichi’s denseness make sense for why that particular relationship has progressed glacially over 2 whole years.

12) “Girl, Koichi wouldn`t realize a girl likes him if she had her tongue in his throat, you think he`ll just walk around and find someone that he likes? Also, if they do that this chapter after rubbing salt on the wound that Makoto is going full evil overlord in the US I`ll be so mad….”-  Still mad if they did it with Makoto? Even if it is likely 90% a misunderstanding/not what it looks like on Koichi’s end, Makoto is a pretty good runner-up for a potential romantic partner, given how helpful she’s been to Koichi’s vigilante career by helping to keep Phelps off his case all this time. @thelreads

#bnha #bnha vigilantes #my hero academia #thelreads #chapter replies #vigilantes 67

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 92/301

2012 Malaysian GP

Disclaimer for this season. It turns out that I only have the footage of the race for a lot of the GPs (no build-up, no post-race content) so there will be way less GIFs unfortunately. I will let you know for each of these reviews if there are GIFs or not. THIS ONE HAS GIFS.

No build up :/ round 2. It's raining in Malaysia. Oh no, it’s not. It might. The Safety Car is going around the track to check but so far everybody is planning for a normal, dry start.

So it's a McLaren front row with Lewis on pole again! Schumacher 3rd, Webber 4th. Seb is only 5th, followed by Grosjean somehow. Rosberg 7th, Alonso 8th. Perez and Raikkonen complete the top 10.

Formation lap.

And they're racing!

Jenson is level with Lewis into turn one but Lewis stays in the lead. Schumacher is losing places. He spun! It's raining very hard in the pitlane now but most of them are on inters and not full wets.

A couple laps in, some midfielders change for the wets already. Grosjean is beached. Jenson pits for the wets and Alonso too. Lewis is 7.8 seconds ahead of Webber on inters but he reports aquaplaning. They both pit! Redbull is double pitting. Mercedes is also double pitting. What are the standings, come on!

Lewis is still in the lead, Jenson 0.45 behind him though. Perez 3rd, but I don't think he stopped, then Webber and Vergne (double take everytime I read VER). Oh wait Perez did stop actually. That was a good call then. But he just went off track. Tyres don't suffice. Safety Car? There's lighting bolts in the sky, Ted says. What is the Safety Car about? Just weather conditions? Ah it's a red flag.

Ted is very amused by the fact that all teams seem to have invested in gazebos to protect the cars and drivers since the 2011 season in case rain red flags happened again.

Ah, later on someone from McLaren explains they had to talk the gazebos through with the FIA to get permission to use them from now on lol.

Alonso and Seb are just chatting on the grid under umbrellas.

Oh Valtteri Bottas is here! He's a reserve driver for Williams at the time.

Oookay we got the 10 minute warning. It's going to be a Safety Car restart.

Here we go again!

The drivers are saying the track is dry enough to go and already planning for inters. OK Safety Car in at the end of lap 13. A bunch of cars pit immediately. Seb and Webber are racing each other. Lewis pits in the next lap as does Webber. Awful pit stop! He's behind Alonso! Jenson is ahead. He went ahead of his mark and then they had to keep him because Massa was coming in really slowly because Ferrari stacked their cars and Alonso was already there. He's 10th now. Jenson made contact with someone (it was Perez I believe) and let Lewis through because he had too much damage. Seb comes in and we've heard on the radio he might be having issues?

A few laps later Lewis is back in 3rd behind Alonso and Perez. Jenson is struggling with his tyres for some reason. Seb overtakes Rosberg for 4th. Nothing much happening at the front now, the gaps are quite big.

I zoned out for a good 10 minutes and nothing has changed in the front so yeah. Boring race actually. I mean we're following the fight between Massa and Jenson and occasionally Ricciardo for 16th. That tells you everything there is to know.

Some teams are expecting the rain to make a comeback. Perez is right behind Alonso somehow. Jenson pits. Alonso goes in, Perez stays out. Seb pits. So now Perez is leading 12s. ahead of Lewis himself 9s. ahead of Alonso. 15 laps to go.

Perez pits. Lewis pits. Alonso is back in the lead. Lewis stop was slow, they'd put tape on a duct or whatever for wet conditions and had to take it off again now that it's dry. Now the RedBulls are closing on Lewis. Lewis is not closing on Perez. 10 laps to go.

Oh Vettel has a puncture! He manages to pit but that's a lot of lost time. He clipped the front wing of whoever. Perez is just one second behind Alonso. Honestly wtf is happening with him that day. Ah but his team tells him they need the position and to be careful. He's gone wide! He's 5 seconds behind now. 5 laps to go.

I don't think I'll get much content out of this race unfortunately. There's only 20mn of video left.

Maldonado's car is smoking. He DNF on the penultimate lap. Omg Seb also has to retire the car, on the last lap! No 'stay out, stay out' now. What is going on. 'Stop the car!' Well.

It's the end of the race!

Alonso wins, Perez P2 and Lewis P3. The Sauber team is crying. Lovely. Lewis congratulates Perez. He doesn't wait for Alonso though lol. We barely see the podium. Lewis seems in good spirits. That's all I have for this race unfortunately!

See ya next time!

#f1 #lewis hamilton #2012 #2012 malaysian gp #vro0m's race reviews

[joblessjeno]

What do you mean Jaemin has a total of 1:30 minutes of lines in a 35 minute album?

#I go on Twitter once and nanadoongies are pissed #honestly what did we expect with Mark’s comeback? #of course his return meant they’ll cut down jaemin’s and jeno’s lines #I am scared for the drama that will be 7 dream version of boom and ridin #rip jaemin’s lines #they’ll cut everything safe for his ice cream part I already see it #I have no idea how they’ll for mark into ridin #let’s hope for the best 🙂✊🏻 #jaemin #nct

[okskz]

Paris Fashion Week.

elsy + mark

elsy goes to paris and is reunited with mark.

a little late but I wanted to write about this because it was a perfect opportunity to make elsy and mark reunite again. hope you guys enjoy and please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

[8th member of got7]

“did you make it to your hotel yet?”

“yes.” elsy answered. “just got here not too long ago.”

“how was your flight? were there any fans when you arrived?”

elsy put her phone on speaker as she unzipped her luggage. “my flight was good. honestly it felt weird, I haven’t been on a plane in awhile.” she chuckled. “and to answer your last question, yes. there was. it felt great to see them again but it was a little overwhelming being around a lot of people. luckily it was a fast transition.”

“ah, well that’s good, elsy. hope you have fun over there. be safe, and of course say hello to mark for me.”

elsy smiled. “of course, I’ll let him know. see you when I get back, jaebeom.” with one last goodbye, elsy hung up the phone. she took a cardigan out from her luggage and placed it on her body.

she was in paris at the moment, getting the chance to join in for fashion week. which made her quite excited for the experience. it being her first time ever to being able to attend. and to top it all off, she was going to be reunited with mark again. the last time she had seen him was in the beginning of the year when mark was leaving to go back to the states.

soon after, elsy heard a knock on her door and she immediately zoomed her way to open it. already smiling, elsy’s smile grew bigger once seeing mark who was smiling right back at her. “ah! mark!” the girl jumped on him, almost making him fall back. “woah there elsy.” he chuckled. the moment felt surreal for elsy, she didn’t know when she was going to see mark again after he had left and she definitely had missed him being right in front of her instead of being miles away. and she was going to cherish every second she was going to spend with mark for the week.

“I missed you!” she pouted, hugging him a little tighter. mark doing the same as he carried the girl. gently putting elsy down, he went in to mess up her hair. “I can say the same thing. life has been very different not seeing you everyday.” he grinned.

“what can I say? you just can’t live without me.” elsy flipped her hair back, giggling. “how’s being back home feel like? you liking it?”

mark nodded. “yeah, it’s been really nice to be back home. especially getting to see my parents now everyday.”

“aw, that’s amazing, tuan.” elsy said. “but you should definitely give a visit back to korea, we all miss you.”

“hopefully soon.” mark smiled. “hope you don’t mind me barging in to your home.”

“of course I don’t mind!” elsy exclaimed. “like mia taught me, mi casa es tú casa (my house is your house).”

mark let out a laugh. “good to know. but now, shall I take your hand and have a walk with you around paris?” he said, putting his hand out for elsy to grab. the two were right at the entrance of their hotel. elsy giggled. “you shall.” taking his hand and letting mark lead her out the hotel. “and so you know, I’m expecting a friend date at the eiffel tower tonight.”

“of course.” mark placed his arm around elsy. “today is all about spending my day with my favorite person.”

“okay so this proves that I was always your favorite in the group.” elsy teased. mark stayed silent before looking down at elsy with a sly smile. “don’t tell the others, don’t want feelings to be hurt.” elsy slightly slapped his chest, laughing. “secret safe with me then.”

the two started off their day with grabbing a drink at a nearby cafe that was also a bakery. they sat at the tables that were located outside to enjoy their beverages. “taste delicious.” elsy said, taking a sip from her tea. mark did the same, “what have you been up to these days?”

elsy sighed. “well I finished my comeback not too long ago, been recording some new songs.” elsy listed. “and really just been living life.” she chuckled. “and you?”

“pretty much same.” mark laughed. “except without the comebacks of course, been visiting the others?”

“mhm.” elsy hummed. “the only one I haven’t really been seeing is jinyoung though, he’s always busy. but the rest, especially bam and yugyeom, I have definitely been seeing a lot.” she grinned.

“ah, bam and yugyeom. I really miss those two.” mark let out a laugh.

***

“I find a lot of things beautiful at night, but paris seems to be my most favorite city to see at night. it’s so beautiful.” elsy said as she walked next to mark. the two were finishing up their day by looking at the eiffel tower. the girl tsked as she took a photo of it, “I wish bang chan was here to see this with me.”

“are you two finally together?”

elsy laughed at the way mark had emphasized finally. “yes.” she answered. “it’s been awhile too.”

there was a moment of silence when elsy spoke up again. “he told me he loved me a little while ago.” she rubbed on arms, letting out a sigh. mark looked down at elsy, lifting a brow. “and what did you say?”

“I couldn’t tell him.”

“why not?” he asked with concern.

elsy shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” she whispered. “scared at the concept of love.”

“from the moment I met you to now, I have always noticed this guard you keep up. especially when it came to relationships. which is why I kind of sense you never being in a relationship up until now. it’s always just been you, and you’ve always been about you. no one else.” elsy listen word to word that mark was telling her. “and now that you’re finally with someone, you don’t know exactly what to do.”

“so I’ll ask you, do you love him?”

elsy didn’t hesitate to nod her head. “yes, mark. I really do.”

“okay, you love him and he loves you. let him know that you do.” mark said. “it’s okay to let go of your fear of love, chan is a good kid. and I’m sure you know this since you do know him since forever ago. sometimes it’s okay to listen to your heart than your mind. and I’m pretty sure your heart is telling you to tell chan you love him.”

“for someone who is very short with words, you definitely have said enough and I think this is what I needed to do, was to talk to someone about my actual feelings.” elsy sighed. “thank you mark.”

mark said nothing more and went in to give elsy a tight hug. and it definitely made elsy feel a lot better and more at ease. “I mean, jinyoung is the one who is mostly there for you but I doubt you’re going to go to him about chan after you two-“

“mark tuan!” elsy slapped his arm. she knew where he was going with the conversation. the two began to share a laugh.

“have I told you how much I’ve missed you?” elsy chuckled. “almost all day you have.” mark smiled. “but it’s okay, I really missed you too.”

“how about we snap more photos then have some dinner?” mark questioned. “my treat.”

“sounds good to me, tuan.”

elsy had asked a nearby stranger if they could take a photo of her and mark in front of the eiffel tower, mark swinging his arm around elsy’s shoulders while holding up a peace sign with his other hand. and elsy putting her arm behind mark’s back while her other hand was on her hip.

“aw cute!” elsy exclaimed. “I’m going to post it on instagram.”

the girl did as she said, quickly posting their photo on her feed with the caption:

“reunited again with my tuan in paris”

#kpop oc #kpop oc au #kpop au #kpop female oc #female kpop oc #got7 au #got7 imagines #got7 scenarios #got7 fluff #got7 angst #got7 oc #got7 female oc #solo oc #kpop solo oc #solo female oc #solo kpop oc #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #mark tuan #mark tuan au

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

#this was too long oh goodness #idek if some of you will actually take interest to read all these blabbers but yeah #but it was fun listing these down hahaha #nct 127 #nct #sticker #sticker.talks #taeil #johnny #taeyong #yuta #doyoung #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jungwoo #mark #mark lee #haechan #nct fluff #nct smut #nct reviews #long post

[pikapikapikaachuu]

TRAIN TO BUSAN

7

PREVIOUS_NEXT

Word count: 1.2k

you were frozen to the bone. the idea that they left you and were never coming back evident in your mind. honestly now that you think about it you knew nothing about the plan today. you knew when and how but most importantly why. why’d they break in? what were the files? you didn’t know. sure you entered the skz mansion but did you know where it was? 

you crouched down holding your self tight ,too tight you knew they would leave marks. but you didn’t know what to do. 

right then bright  headlights flashed on you face. you looked up expectantly. you would ask help from any stranger right now. you just dealt with two mafia groups what else could go wrong? the lights only grew stronger indicating the vehicle was coming nearer until it came to a halt completely. the headlights still on blinding you but you got up with all the energy you were left with. blocking the lights from your eyes you tried to look over. a figure coming from the back walking towards you .it was man the silhouette a handsome one a strong one you guessed. your knight you thought .too cliche but it was the reality. however as much as it felt like a fairy tale was unfolding you being the main character you wanted to close it shut and drift to sleep. a soft voice called you called. it was jeongin. 

“ it’s ok. we’re here. i’m here now.”

he supported you his hand on the small of your back while other squeezed your hand assuring you it’s safe now.

 he sat back on his seat between felix and seungmin because honestly he was scared of the silence that pertained. air so thick it would cut if someone slashed it with a knife. you looked down at your hands. you hated this dizzy featherbrained feeling, it made you feel....lost. 

***flashback***

“hyung she wouldn’t do this. "

"jeongin, the driver waited enough time for her to comeback. she must escaped.we misjudged her”

“ how would she ? she doesn’t have a phone nor does she know anyone here except us. why would she?”

“ yes that means she thought we wouldn’t be able to trace her if she leaves hence this situation. it was a test jeongin. and not everyone passes it.” says lee know .

“ it was a trust test wasn’t it? shouldn’t we show some trust before expecting any?”

“fine. hyunjin-” 

“i already am taking a turn chan”

__________________________________

and that decision took y’all now here. i.n being right. but none of you expected yn to be this. you couldn’t get a word to describe her. but you could describe your feelings.  your messed hair, bare feet you in a completely different dress. everything was utter chaos yet so silent. lee know lowered his neck trying to see your expression. everybody looked at you apologetically. but confusion and guilt soon took over. even the darkness of the night couldn’t hide the purple marks that scattered over your neck. soon the situation started to sink in. chan bent over embracing you into the warmest hug he could offer. he stroked your head as you finally broke down. as your pule turning into sobs and then whimpers. everybody swore they would never let you cry again. you became one of them that moment. chan sat down back and hyunjin started back on the road. the now missed warmth was replaced by felix by your side. he gently pulled your head making you lean on his shoulder. and you don’t know if it was his comfort or the exhaustion that lulled you into sleep. 

everybody got down leaving you on felix as he didn’t dare to move afraid he ll disturb your sleep.

“i’ll take her felix”

saying that changbin picked you up .one hand supporting your neck and the other wrapping your legs around him. like a baby. he laid you on the bed of your room while i.n pulled up the blanket wrapping you. he chuckled as he thought you resembled a burrito and sneaked a picture.

the sun rose it’s rays spreading in your room. you opened your heavy eyes . a bit swollen from the previous night. you’re still in the dress you borrowed so opening the closet you pull out the set of folded clothes jeongin brought you the other night. after getting fresh you look at your strained self in the mirror. the eye bags the frizzy hair the purpleish markings on your neck. you touched the marks wincing at the pain the memories of last night crawling in. you pulled the top up unconsciously in an attempt to hide them.

the big clock on the marble wall showed it‘s11am.  and even though its only been two days since you’ve come here. you know morning meeting is around this time. as you climbed the long staircase you thought how’d you react how should you behave? little did you know that the straykids were facing the same question.

the room was too silent , it wasn’t serious but rather gloomy .you cleared your throat indicating your presence .a few moments passed by after you settled in your seat.

 “so....yn-” jisung broke the silence which encouraged you to speak up before he even completed his. theres no backing down now you thought

“what happened yesterday?”

“we have the same question yn but regardless of whatever happened yesterday. you won our trust.congratulations. you’re in the team.” announces the leader.

“oh wow. i didn’t expect that”.

everybody congratulated you before han spoke once again.

“ and there’s a rule. we share our first mission experience”

“uh do i really have to?”

“yes its to know what mistakes we did”  said hyunjin.

“yeah i clearly know what wrong i did. i should have stopped at a spot which would give me enough access to the hall yet keep me invisible. but instead i followed their leader too close and he thought i was into him and then things escalated and then i exchanged clothes with someone and escaped.”

and this point you were basically rapping and when you were done you left the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“wow that explains a lot yn.” said han raising his eyes.

“thats why you came out so late tell her chan ” added felix.

“yesterday was a test to see what choice you make when left alone even in your vulnerable state you didn’t join the opposed.” 

“oh so that’s why you left me in the middle of nowhere?”

“correction yn it wasn;t technically nowhere there was nct 15mins away but yeah you still didn’t go so-

“close your mouth han. “

“no seungmin you-” 

“here’s the story yn. after we were at a safe distance from the place i sent the signal .we assumed you would come out and panic when there’s no one to pick you up. few minutes later our guy waited for you outside but according to him you never came out? at that point we thought you failed but you were just stuck in’’

“oh my goodness i didn’t understand a thing can somebody repeat” asks han hands on his head.

everybody laughed at han’s antics including you since now the weight of what you didn’t know exactly got lifted. making you feel almost happy and glad that you’re the main character of this fairytale?

__________________________________

AN: I hope I didn't confuse you with what happened. Drop if you have any questions :)) I don't remember when I updated last but it seems long ago. Days are really passing by slow for me ig 🥴thanks for reading 💗

𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘀: All you wanted was a vacation even if it was for a few days. When you get a leave from the hospital you think lucks on your side but what happens when life has other plans for you which includes jumping in the sea and get taken away by 8 good looking guys- of a MAFIA GANG all in just a night ?

Taglist (OPEN) : @sehunnies-hunnie96 @hibuki-chan

Comment ask or msg to get tagged :)

#stray kids #straykids imagines #stray kids x reader #kpop imagines #stray kids x y/n #stray kids mafia au #kpop mafia au

[raspberry-arev]

After the Flood (a.k.a. bicci fic)

Hello friends! Some of you may remember that back in... er, who knows, I was writing a Bicci Proposal Fanfic. However, school and lack of motivation got in the way, and essentially, I forgot it existed. Until now. It's done, it's ready, it's here for you to read in whole! (I posted half of it before, but I can't find the thing.)

Characters: Jimmy Kaga-Ricci, Lister Bird, Rowan Omondi, OC (Abby Omondi), Angel Rahimi

Themes: older Ark, marriage proposal, coming out, grand gestures, The Ark Revival Tour, and peak Bicci romance (hopefully)

TWs: mentions of recovery from addiction, anxiety, food

Word count: 9k

JIMMY

It’s often impossible to pinpoint what exactly set off an event – or perhaps multiple – that changed your life as you knew it.

That was not Jimmy’s case, however. He remembered that Barbecue Saturday very well.

This time, it was Rowan and his spouse Abby who hosted. The two couples took turns and Jimmy was oh so grateful for it; the idea of managing Lister’s chaotic culinary experiments more than twice in one summer filled him with dread.

On Saturday morning, Jimmy and Lister packed up and drove all the way to the suburbs of London where Rowan and Abby lived. The sun was bright, everything gleamed buttery yellow, and Jimmy managed to talk Abby into letting him set the table and carry in all the food instead of her, which was quite an accomplishment. She was about as stubborn as her husband.

They rarely invited more than three extra people though. Being in the public eye in your formative years made you appreciate small gatherings of trustworthy people. And one of those proved to be Angel. Or, you know, Feresteh, but her nickname really stuck with them. From that time Jimmy nearly quit the band and Lister impaled himself and almost drowned in mud… yeah, call that a wild youth.

Over ten years later, they were hardly the same people.

After they decided to quit being The Ark for their own wellbeing and safety, Rowan kept his place in the music industry as a songwriter, producer and a solo artist. He went with the name Le Monde, a play on his surname as well as French for “the world”. It suited him. He was the world, never small, never just one thing.

Lister stopped being involved in music after a few collabs. While he was figuring out what to do next, he took a few modelling jobs, acted in music videos and got a small part in a sitcom. Jimmy used that time to get a college degree, but found he just wouldn’t be able to get the usual “college experience” he yearned for, and only got his diploma after doing classes long-distance.

Jimmy and Lister also got together. After many failed attempts at courtship and pretending being friends with benefits was enough… they got together. To Jimmy, it felt like it was inevitable; they have acted like partners long before it was official, they just needed to clean up their own messes before they could be a couple. It wouldn’t have felt right back then, but it did now.

Rowan was already at the grill preparing meat and wrapping camembert in shiny aluminium foil when Angel marched in, tall, elegant, beaming. Jimmy loved to see her again. Each time, she seemed a little more confident, more expressive, more… just more. She really did find her calling in the music industry, just as much as he found his tucked away in rural England with his boyfriend.

Yet, he was to be “tucked away” no longer.

At a certain point, their group fell momentarily silent; everyone was chewing their meal and soaking in the sun. Then Angel said, in an unfamiliar, cautious tone: “You see, I was talking to a couple of people…”

Rowan exchanged a quick look with Jimmy. “Go on,” he said.

“It’s gonna be ten years since you guys disbanded, you know.”

“I know,” Jimmy echoed.

“So. I was thinking. Hear me out, even if you think it’s bollocks…” Angel shot them a look, and then made a motion with her hand as if she was presenting them with something. “Have you ever thought of doing a revival concert?”

As Rowan did a theatrical “errrm”, Jimmy saw straight through his best friend’s bullshit: the two of them rehearsed this conversation. He knew Ro for most of his life, who did he think he was fooling?

His mind offered the answer quickly: Abby, perhaps. He wants to see how she would react, doesn’t he? Rowan would love to do a revival show like that, no doubt, but he valued his wife’s opinion too much to make a decision without her.

He felt movement on his left, and looked Lister in the eyes.

“Well,” said Lister, looking at him. “Wow, okay,” said Jimmy. Both were considering.

Angel swiftly picked up, “Just wanted to run this idea by you. Not because it’s me who would love to see you play once more – I mean, of course I would – but it’s expected to have an amazing turn-out.”

“Obviously, they’re The Ark,” Abby commented matter-of-factly.

“You’re right, Abby. So, guys? How are we feeling about this?”

It was bizzare. Normally, Jimmy would have expected to say he wasn’t at all interested – the boyband life was not for him anymore, tough luck – but recently, he felt a strong sense of nostalgia surge through him as the ten year mark got closer. He found himself reaching for his old guitar way more often, strumming at it, looking for something between the strings he could not reach.

Maybe he could do it just once.

What eventually came out of his mouth was… “I haven’t sung like that for a long time though.”

“You sing to me,” Lister contradicted him, his fingers intertwining with his. “All the time.”

Jimmy felt his face get hotter. “That’s hardly… Are you thousands of people?” He turned to Angel. “How many are we talking, anyway?”

She smiled a kind smile. “I don’t know, Jimmy, that depends on whether you three are up to it or not.”

Rowan cleared his throat. “Personally speaking, I think I wouldn’t mind, as long as we are just doing it once, and not trying for a comeback. I wouldn’t go there.”

“Same,” Lister nodded. “I love you guys, but I’m fine the way things are.”

“Right,” said Rowan firmly. “But… just this once, I mean, why not? We could use some extra money.” With this, he gently let his palm rest on Abby’s belly that swelled under her summer dress like a balloon. (Jimmy fought the urge to aww at them.)

Abby immediately assured him they were more than fine financially, but Rowan barely listened, clearly waiting for his former bandmates to say something. Jimmy felt Lister looking at him, unwavering. So he turned to him and asked, “What do you think? Cool or not?”

“I’m waiting for you to say.”

“Why?”

“Don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”

“You shouldn’t… Just say what your opinion is!”

“You express your opinion,” Lister retorted, pretending to square his shoulders as a threat. Jimmy lovingly nudged him, and to stop being annoying to the remaining three people at the table, he shrugged, “It doesn’t sound so bad. One concert. I mean, we are still friends after all this time, so why not?”

“In that case, I would love to be the centre of attention again!” Lister exclaimed and gave Jimmy a boyish grin. “The crowd was deprived of my looks for too long.”

“Buddy, you were the drummer,” Rowan said. “Bold of you to assume anyone even looked at you with me and Jimmy jumping at the front.”

Jimmy snorted with laughter, but Lister was quick to defend himself. “Google all Lister Bird slash Reader fanfic and then we can talk about who got noticed, buddy.”

“Oi, you’re not even properly revived yet, stop fighting!” Angel called out, but laughter started bubbling from every direction before she even finished the sentence.

They had a proper business meeting about it in two weeks. And then another and another. When they announced the first date, the sales went through the roof. Jimmy had to get off of social media because the internet exploded with their names and faces. But he sort of found it a bit sweet, that so many people stuck around for them, like old friends that he never had the chance to talk to. One concert became three and then five, which was, honestly, more like a small tour at that point. Jimmy fought to call it After the Flood and won.

LISTER

“You really shouldn’t do that, you know. This bitch is hard to get rid of.”

Rowan tried to hide a small cough and put out his cigarette on the metal window sill next to him. “Hey,” he greeted Lister. “Didn’t expect you to come out here.”

“Yeah.” Lister found it hard to hang around smokers, and unfortunately, he met quite the number of them while they were in the process of rehearsing. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What’s up?”

“Can we walk, like, over there? So… nobody can hear us through the door?”

Rowan eyed him suspiciously, but he followed him to the railing on the edge of the roof. There, he turned to him, seeming to fight himself.

“I’m really looking for a less shitty way to ask this,” he admitted eventually. “But… What have you done now, Lister?”

Lister felt a sort of numbed cramp seize his stomach for a second. It took a lot not to let anger overcome him. They were well over thirty, how the hell was Rowan still treating him like a fuck up? But no. This was more important than old grudges.

“Nothing! As of yet,” he assured his bandmate.

“Okay…?”

“Right. So. Erm. Nobody is here, right? Fine. I had this idea… you know, Jimmy and I have been together for a long time and I obviously care about him a lot, I always have, you kind of know that…”

“Yes, go on,” he pushed on gently.

“Fuck it. I want to fucking propose!”

A giant weight fell off his shoulders when he spoke those words aloud. It was like coming out all over again, god.

Rowan’s eyes twinkled. “Oooh,” he almost whispered, “and you need my help with that? I’m your man, tell me the plan!”

“There is none right now.”

“Oh, okay. I can still help if you want.”

This was another part Lister dreaded discussing.

“I… okay, so, I was thinking of… doing it on stage?”

His friend’s face changed rapidly.

Lister’s dream of a grand proposal to the love of his life in brilliant stage lights and the roars of the audience faded away. “That’s a no? That’s a no. Shit, forget it then.” He felt sick.

“Lister, I’m absolutely positive you mean well,” Rowan started. “But Jimmy would-“

Speak of the devil.

The door opened and out of it peaked Jimmy’s unshaven face. “Oh! There you both are.”

Rowan froze for a second. Lister was ready to improvise. “Alright, so how about I come by yours after practice and you transfer the files to me?” He smiled, but impaled Rowan with a meaningful look.

Fortunately, he caught on. “Oh yeah, yeah, that could work.”

“What files?” Jimmy inquired as he joined them, oblivious.

“Rowan has some of our old drafts still saved. I was thinking of squeezing in a drum solo somewhere, maybe with spoken word over it?”

“Sounds cool,” Jimmy smiled at him and slightly brushed the back of his hand with Lister’s. “Anyway, Dick the Sound Guy wants us all in there immediately.”

“Stop calling him that or I’ll have a Freudian slip at some point,” Lister laughed and guided Jimmy back into the building. Him and Rowan managed to exchange a subtle nod over the shorter man’s head.

JIMMY

As they were packing up that day, Jimmy tried incredibly hard to catch Rowan alone. Just like the old times when he needed to discuss something personal. And yet again, it involved Lister. Jimmy felt young and stupid again, but not really in a good way.

Finally, he managed to stop him while he was putting away the equipment. Lister was meanwhile in the office of their temporary new manager. “Ro, I need advice!” he whispered to his best friend.

“What about?”

“It’s Lister.”

“Oh dear Jesus, I’m having flashbacks.”

“Don’t be a dick, it’s important.”

“Okay then, tell me.”

“It kind of involves you too. Just… tell me if it’s a good idea.”

“Go on!”

“I want to, uh… I want to tell people Lister and I are a couple…” He took a breath. “Which means I would be coming out as gay as well, probably. I know that’s, like, a huge pile of drama, so if you don’t want me to complicate the tour, just say it, it’s honestly kind of irresponsible when I’m thinking about it now…”

“Jimbob. Easy.” Rowan waited for a second for Jimmy to wind down, leaning on a stack of five chairs, and then asked, “Are you really sure about it? Do you want people to know?”

Jimmy felt his thoughts humming in his head. He forced himself to say exactly how he felt.

“I know it’s gonna sound super dramatic, but I don’t want to die not saying it,” he explained slowly. “It became really important to me… I don’t know when. But it did. Talking about this part of me, too. I’m just worried about what Lister might say.”

“So I take it that you didn’t discuss this?”

“No way. I don’t even know how to start!” Jimmy exploded in loud whispering. “I should have talked to him a long time ago, but I just didn’t have the balls.”

“I get that, but… just bring it up. Like, theoretically. What if. I think he’s going to support you through it.”

“How could he?”

“What are you even saying at this point?

“You think he would like people sticking their nose in our personal business? I feel like it’s so unfair to him and his privacy… And I feel terrible about still wanting to do it… even though it’s inconsiderate. It’s all a fucking mess.”

“Okay, okay.” Rowan massaged his nose. He looked like he was trying incredibly hard not to snap at Jimmy and be at least somewhat encouraging. “Look, no spoilers, but I am going to say this. Lister absolutely will notbe mad and he will want to talk about the two of you if you give him the chance. That is all.”

“Wait, what? Ro, did he tell you something?”

“I am not talking!”

“Is that how you treat your best friend in a life crisis?!”

“You’re putting me in a life crisis, don’t you dare play the pity card! I swear, the two of you are a nightmare.”

“Rowan! Come back!”

LISTER

His visit to Rowan’s place was very brief, but it was enough for him to understand Rowan’s concerns. Eventually.

Lister explained that it didn’t feel appropriate for him to just whip out a ring in a restaurant: Jimmy was his love, his dream boy, as cliché as it sounded, and he wanted to do something that would measure up to all he was feeling. Which was… well, a whole lot. Like a “get down on one knee in front of thousands of people” lot.

And yet.

“It’s all great, and I’m sure there are people in the world that would love it, but we are talking about Jimmy.”

“Come on. I know, he’s private about… well, everything, but…”

“That, yes,” Rowan pointed at him while holding a can of coke, “but don’t you think this proposal on stage would be an anxiety-inducing situation? Because to me, that sounds like a lot of pressure and nerves.”

“He hasn’t had attacks since we moved and he went on those meds.”

“That doesn’t really –“

“Matter. Yeah. Yeah, I get your point, mate, he would die of shock. And everybody watching him. Fuck, I’m stupid.”

“No, you’re not,” Rowan grinned. “The two of you are just different… in some aspects. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

Will I? Lister asked himself as he was driving back to the hotel that Jimmy and him were staying at for the time being. This was the only thing I came up with, like, ever.

When he swept his key card over the sensor and the door to their suite opened, he was greeted by the smell of dinner. He took a look into their little kitchen and found his boyfriend sitting at the table with his laptop. He didn’t notice him for a second, so Lister came up behind him and hugged him tightly.

Jimmy yelped.

“Where’s the food?!” Lister shook him a little, imitating Batman.

“Your hands are so cold!” Jimmy protested, but there was a trace of laughter in his voice. “On the stove, you bully!”

Lister almost flew over there, looking under the lid on the pot.

“Pasta,” Jimmy shrugged. “I needed my comfort food, so that’s that for you.” Lister smiled and thanked him, because yes, he was starving. Pasta was Jimmy’s go-to meal to cook, as it was quick to make and he was a pasta-sauce prodigy.

While his dinner was heating up in the microwave, Jimmy made small-talk about the supposed unused lyrics Rowan and him exchanged. Lister found it hard to lie to him, so he just turned to playful teasing, telling Jimmy to stop sniffing around, he’ll hear it when the time comes.

“Oh come on,” Jimmy huffed. “I’m just asking! And it’s my show, too. Spill it.”

“Sorry. Totally gonna steal your spotlight.”

“Lister, just tell me what it is.”

“A song.”

“What song?”

“A song that you have to wait for.”

“Babe, what song?!”

Lister took him by the waist and pulled him against his body. “Are you trying to ‘babe’ me into telling you right now? Is that what’s happening? Right in front of my pasta?” He went in for a kiss, and Jimmy tried to murmur something against his lips… but then he gave up. They leaned into each other and kept kissing until Lister pulled away to open the microwave. He got himself a fork and went to sit down after the long day, but Jimmy stayed there, right next to the sink. Looking a bit like he was going to hurl.

Before Lister could ask if he’s okay, Jimmy sat down on the other chair with a determined look on his face.

“There is something I need to discuss!” he blurted out.

Lister cautiously dropped the fork back into the bowl. “Okay…? And it’s something to do with me, yeah?”

“Yep. A lot to do with you.” He was visibly nervous. He clasped his hands together, as if Lister would have not noticed. “I… I was thinking about this one thing, and I need your opinion about it.”

“Cool. Go for it.”

“It’s about our relationship.”

“Are you aware you sound very sinister right now?”

He wildly shook his hands as if he wanted to dry them off. “Sorry, didn’t mean to,” he apologized in a strained voice. Then he cleared his throat, sharply lifted his eyes towards Lister’s and exclaimed, “I would like to reveal that we’re together.”

Lister felt everything about his face go lax in shock. He opened his eyes round and wide, his mouth followed, and Jimmy looked like he would faint.

“I, er. I just. I thought about it and I think it’s a decent idea and – please say something, Lister, before I get a fucking heart attack right now.”

It must have been so hard for him to speak up. Lister thought of his proposal plans and felt his mouth slowly form a smile. “I think it’s… brilliant! Yes, I would really like to do that!”

“Wait, really?”

“This is – I didn’t think you would want to, when did you change your mind?”

Jimmy shrugged, grinning in a sheepish way that made him look much younger. And cuter. “I thought I just… wanted to be open about this part of my life. Figured it’s time to say we are together. But if you, like, don’t feel like it, then…”

Lister beamed. “I feel like it. If you do, I do, trust me.” He walked around the table and lifted Jimmy into a hug. He laughed, relieved.

This was when it dawned on Lister… it was not such an easy matter. Exciting, yes, but it would gather all kinds of attention. He leaned onto the table, grabbed his dinner and him and Jimmy started talking about the situation it would put them in. If both are truly okay with it, how much would they reveal, when is the best time to do it. They kept talking through the bathroom door and while they were changing into pajamas in their bedroom.

As they were laying down and Lister gestured Jimmy to crawl into his arms, they became quieter. “You know why I also want to say it?” Jimmy mumbled, lying on the soft linen with one eye open.

“I’m all ears.”

“If I have to see one more article about which model or actress you’re screwing, I’m gonna lose the remaining marbles that I have.” Lister started chuckling as Jimmy awkwardly added, “Which is, admittedly, not many. Most have been lost in my youth.”

“Oh no,” Lister laughed and turned Jimmy’s face upwards to his. “So this just in: my boyfriend is possessive. Fancy that.”

“I’m not, it’s… I am… Oh, you hated Jowan, stop being smug.”

“I know I did, we both know. But jealous Jimmy? That’s a rare sight.”

“It’s just super uncomfortable. It’s all women, as well.”

“Heteronormativity is a bitch,” Lister nodded. He snuggled closer and let out a breath, “Don’t worry though. I am exclusively your problem.”

Jimmy kissed him, smiling. Lister felt lightheaded. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Jimmy’s. He loved this – he loved how much he felt for him after so long they have been together. It never ceased or faded away… because it was Jimmy.

Lister was pretty sure he would love him until his last day on Earth.

It was time to start looking for a ring.

JIMMY

Not much later, they had a team meeting scheduled with all the important people at their recording company that were involved with their tour. Jimmy and Lister announced their intention to come out during the tour, and with Rowan’s full support, it wasn’t too hard to win the producers over. Jimmy had anticipated the PR people would deem it overly risky to their image, but they were fairly chill. As Rowan had put it, “As if anything about The Ark was ever about pandering to conservatives.”

They agreed that their demographic is absolutely different, and before they knew it, they were being ignored while people were exchanging speculations about how it all could help them promote the tour.

“If they do it on, like, the second show…”

“…we could sell some extra tickets after… another wave…”

“…that would probably be a good time to release a single, something related to…”

Jimmy felt something in his chest sink. This is why they left. These people took something good, something from their hearts and souls, and wanted to turn it into money. Some part of him understood, that’s how business works, but mostly, he just felt really sad for them.

“Oi!” Lister exploded over the chatter. “Sorry, but we are still here, and – Could you maybe not act like this coming out is a marketing tactic?!”

The room went briefly silent.

Jimmy squeezed his hand under the table to say a silent thanks. Then he choked out, “That’s not why we’re doing it!”

Their producer looked at them over the top of her reading glasses.

“Of course it’s not, love,” she cooed. “But to say it bluntly, I think you need all the help you can get.”

After many weeks and many briefings, they had agreed on making the announcement on the third show. Right in the middle of tour. Everybody was nervous, expectant, but there was this air of hopefulness when Jimmy and Lister ended up alone together. The glimmer in his partner’s eye when their eyes met promised something… no, it was not living absolutely openly, they still wanted privacy. But it felt like they were sealing something.

This was not an easy coming out.

But they were in for it. Together.

LISTER

“Just so I know,” Rowan said as Lister was trying to take off his Doc Martens with all his might, “what did you tell Jimmy this time?”

“We’re still working on music.”

“We should really make something then, before you go. I am not gonna lie to my childhood best friend, y’know.”

Finally, the boot came off, and Lister got off the little cabinet in Rowan’s hall. Abby was already making tea, and when she saw him walk by the kitchen door, she just nodded at him. Lister smirked at her; she loved pretending to still be mad at him for taking Rowan to a strip club on his stag night. (Or was it dancing on the table at the wedding reception? Anyhow.)

Rowan sat him down in the lounge and started the conversation with: “So. The big reveal is getting closer. How are we feeling?”

“I – great, good. I’m fine, and Jimmy seems to be fine, so yeah, we’re fine.”

“But I assume that’s not what you need help with?”

“You assume right. I will need you to bear with me, though.”

“That sounds interesting,” Rowan retorted and flashed a smile at Abby who was bringing them two steaming mugs of earl gray. “And when I say interesting I mean impending doom, why thank you, Abby!”

“No problem.” She slowly leaned over, careful not to lose balance with her belly, and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll be off for my swimming class then. You two behave, will you.”

As she was making her way to the hall, Lister jokingly remarked, “No goodbye kiss for me?”

She stopped in the middle of the room and exchanged a glance with Rowan. Rowan, stirring his tea with a teaspoon, said, “Please don’t kill him, I need him for the concert.”

“Come on, you guys, I was fully kidding. Goodbye, Abby,” he waved to her with a bright smile. “Enjoy your swimming stuff!”

“Thank you, will do.” She disappeared.

“Just a question!” he called after her. She came back with an eyeroll. “Is it, like, harder to swim when you are pregnant? Like, I don’t mean to insult you or anything, I’m just genuinely wondering.”

She, too, put aside her snarky façade for a second. “Actually, I go there because it’s relieving. The water makes you float, so the weight of the baby is taken off my back and legs for a little while.”

“Oh! That’s clever.”

“Thank you. The more you know, am I right?”

“You know what I was just thinking of?”

“Yeah? I really have to go.”

“When you’re swimming, you’re a human submarine for the baby.”

It seemed to take Abby a minute to realize what he was saying. Very slowly, she brought her palm to her forehead.

Rowan then didn’t make it much better by adding, “Since when does a submarine have water inside? That would defeat the purpose.”

Lister thought about it and then gasped. “So… right now, you are a reverse human submarine!”

Abby looked at them both, clearly lost for words. “I’ll just go…” She closed the lounge door behind her.

After a good ten minutes of Rowan half laughing and half chastising Lister for saying the things he says, Lister threw his hands up in the air and claimed they seem to have “traded their sense of humour for a marriage certificate” two years ago.

Rowan immediately followed: “Speaking of marriage, any updates on that? You and…?”

“Well, my friend, that is precisely what we need to talk about today.”

“Okay. The meeting is officially in session, go.”

“First: am I the only one that was really surprised by Jimmy wanting to make us public? Because I really didn’t expect that at all.”

“Yeah, I guess he’s still full of surprises, huh?”

“That he is. However, Ro, I was thinking, and I still want to do a proposal. No – let me finish, it’s not that straightforward. I spent a lot of time talking to Jimmy about what he wants and how he sees the future, and you were super right in saying that I should never put him on the spot like that. Being so exposed to the public when we were kids messed with us in a big way, all of us.”

Rowan snapped his fingers in agreement.

“The idea is… It would be a proposal before a proposal. Like… I don’t know, announcing that I have the intention of proposing to him soon. And asking him if he is okay with that, you know? If he’s okay with the idea of saying yes. That way,” Lister gesticulated with his hands, “he’s not forced right there to say yes, the eventual real proposal can be sort of expected, which would calm him down a bit, but still a surprise, because when is it going to happen? I’m not saying.”

Rowan stared at him for about three seconds. “That was… a whole thing, buddy.”

“Thoughts?”

“I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. Wait. You want to do a proposal before the actual proposal.”

“Yes.”

“On stage. At the same time you are announcing that the two of you are together?”

“No! I mean, I don’t think so. I thought like, more at the end, maybe.”

“Proposal before a proposal…”

“It’s clever, if you think about it.”

“To me, it just seems very extra, Lister. Which I know is your trademark, but –”

“No, but listen. I want to propose to Jimmy. He wouldn’t survive a big flashy proposal, but I still want to make it a big deal, because it is. Ergo, I announce that I want to spend the rest of my stupid little life with him and ask him if it is okay to propose to him one day, likely soon.”

Rowan’ expression changed. “That does make sense,” he said. “For the two of you, especially.”

“Okay then: dear dad, do I have your blessing?”

“Never call me that again. But yes.”

“You are the closest to being a father out of all of us.”

“That is not what it sounds like and you know it.”

JIMMY

The first show was an explosion of feeling and memories. Nauseous with anxiety, burdened with expectation and weak in the knees, Jimmy ran into his first appearance on the stage the same way he would run into the middle of the highway. The lights and screams and colours almost blew him to pieces and then glued him back together. His first words addressed to the crowd and the earth-shattering screams that came in answer woke something in him, a force of nature. The gig was rather small compared to those they ended on ten years ago, but the crowd loved them to pieces and oh, he felt so alive.

The second show was slightly bigger, yes, and their fans didn’t disappoint. Plenty of pride flags were chucked at him, and he waved them and gave them to his mates and it made him even more excited about what him and Lister were going to do the next time round. These people stayed with them for so long, this sea of faces that looked toward him… for many of them, he would be the representation they need, again.

He remembered being a young trans boy, questioning if there is a life, a future, for him. Where were all the queer adults? The trans adults? How could he imagine adult life if he had never seen someone like him live it?

There he was, now. Adult. Gay. Transgender. A lot of time, he still knew very little about what he was doing, but he had a boyfriend who knew equally little, and together, they might be just what some queer kid in the crowd yearns to see.

LISTER

It was D-Day. Christ and Mary, it was, and they were going to say it. Finally. The staff have been informed, the security has been strengthened, they did everything so that some fan wouldn’t try and knock them the fuck out…, but he was still incredibly nervous. Minutes before the show, among all the rush and flourish, he caught Jimmy and pulled him to the side, apologizing to a couple of sound guys securing some cables on the ground.

“How are you doing?” he blurted out.

“I’ll die, but maybe in a good way. You?”

“Same. Or I’ll throw up, in a bad way.”

“Wait really?”

“No, I’m sick, but not the vomiting kind.”

“Anxiety! Welcome to the club!” Jimmy shouted as he was being ushered away under the stage so he could come up on a platform.

More pushing, more ushering, and he stood next to Rowan.

Their intro – a dramatic organ solo as light flashed through the artificial fog like sunbeams – was rumbling all around them. The crowd was losing their minds. He didn’t know how, but he still heard Rowan whisper:

“Lister, promise me you won’t do the other thing today!”

“Told you I won’t, stop being patronizing!” he snapped back, but then it was their time, and they were on a stage, coming up from behind Jimmy, each on every side, acting astonished as they supposedly came down from Noah’s Ark onto new land.

Listed dared to put his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder as they did so.

The show was on.

Here we go.

JIMMY

During the concert, he used every opportunity to interact with the audience that he had. It felt a bit manipulative at first – he wanted them to be up for a bit of talking, eventually – but then the feeling of guilt faded away. However complicated his relationship with the fans used to be, these people were the fans. They stayed loyal to them, they kept their music in their hearts, and came to this revival gig…

It would be okay, okay, okay.

When the last accords of the last song whizzed away into the night and he was thanking the crowd that stomped and cheered and waved signs in hope of an encore… he stopped at the front of the stage. Rowan strummed a few last cords on the guitar and fell silent.

He wished he had somewhere to sit down. His legs were shaking.

But he was not afraid. Not really.

“Now, you guys, these shows are very special for us. Because every single one of you, as we’re standing here and looking at each other, you have been waiting for so long…” His voice was drowned out by cheers. “For so long, you have not forgotten us, you came to our shows, you have been amazingly supportive, and I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart!” He shouted the last few words as the sea of faces roared in joy.

When they calmed down again, he continued. “And because you are the ones that stuck with us… because of that, I would like to say a few things to you.

If you know about the days of my youth…” Pause as people laughed and shouted affirmations at him. “…you would probably remember that I was presumed to be in a relationship with a person that is standing on the stage with me, right now.”

It was good that only a few people cheered. But it made him sick to the stomach, still.

“Okay, no,” Rowan came in, and people applauded, and he pointed at them with a not-so-fake scolding look, “no, no, don’t you woo at me, young lady. This is so utterly not a thing! Jimmy has never left the friendzone!”

“Same here,” Jimmy laughed and patted Rowan across the back, maybe a little too hard, overcompensating. “Did you all, like, miss that Rowan came out as straight all those years ago?”

People were laughing. Nobody really cared, they just found it funny. Rowan claimed he was leaving it to Jimmy before “the PR team has me taken out”, and retreated a few steps, leaving Jimmy to face the crowd again.

Deep breaths, he told himself.

“What I wanted to say was that there was one thing that those people back then got right.” Breathe in, breathe out. “I am gay.”

Two seconds of silence and then an absolute thunderstorm of an applause. A rainbow pride flag landed at his feet and Jimmy took it, with meek laughter, and put it around his shoulders. He heard Rowan cheer and clap too, and for what felt like years, he couldn’t get a word in. He wished the whole world could be like this.

“I – gosh, thank you all, I’m not sure whether it was a surprise,” he finally managed to say, his voice breaking a little from surprise, “but yeah. I am a trans, gay man…” The hall exploded with joyous noise. “…and it’s not all that there is to me, but I’m here. And queer. Hello.”

He thought he was going to pass out. He had a clever segway prepared, but he couldn’t remember a word of it. This was the moment. He wanted to say it, but at the same time… How could he? It was so hard, why do things have to be so hard?

“The other… the second thing,” he said, gripping the pride flag. “It is that… wow, it’s hard. It’s that I am…” He felt himself turn around, and like a lost child call: “Lister?”

Lister climbed out from behind the drum set instantly. Nobody cheered, there were only confused whispers. Jimmy looked at him, asking for help without words, and he knew, as he always did. Jimmy found a place to look, above the crowd, beyond everything, as Lister stepped in and slowly took his hand.

“The second thing is that we are together,” Lister said, his voice steady.

And the crowd lost it.

There were people wailing in happy tears. Screaming at the top of their lungs. A dissonance of chanting their names, all at a different rhythm, before Rowan ran up to them and hugged them and spurred the crowd on, and they stood there wrapped in a pride flag, and Jimmy was kind of crying and leaning on Lister, and it was another half an hour of a pure mess, before they really left the stage with their ears buzzing and eyes wide.

Jimmy and Lister tumbled into a corner somewhere, and Jimmy had happy tears streaming down his cheeks and they were kissing and holding each other and shaking.

“Oh, I’m such a mess,” Jimmy laughed as he was smearing tears and foundation on his sleeve.

“And I love you so much,” Lister blurted out in a moment of raw honesty.

“Me too,” Jimmy took one of his hands and kissed the palm. “I love you so fucking much it’s unreal sometimes.”

LISTER

This was, hands down, the most jittery Lister got before a show. Ever.

Currently, he found himself sat at an old sofa in the dressing room, hands clasped and both legs involuntarily jumping up and down. Was it annoying? Likely. But he had to let his knees jump in such a vigorous way because if he hadn’t, his teeth might start clattering.

He hated that he couldn’t just be pumped and excited. He had to feel this unsettling, buzzing mess of an emotion. Anxiety, as Jimmy informed him. This is what it’s like for an anxious person, he said… except make it all the time and often for no real reason.

Lister shook his head a little.

His reason, too, was basically nothing. He knew. As if Jimmy would actually reject him or something…

Or would he?

Maybe he could? Oh God, maybe he could…

“Hey! You’re actually scaring me, what’s up with you?!”

Lister blinked in confusion. He saw Jimmy as he was making his way over. A half scolding, half worried look decorated his face.

He lowered his voice when he added: “The last time I saw you like this was when you had withdrawal symptoms. You can tell me if that’s what it is.”

“It’s not that. I’m fine,” Lister insisted. Crap, he was panicking too hard to actually come up with anything convincing. Come on, Bird, focus… He’s onto you…

“Actually,” Rowan’s voice travelled to them from the corner, “I just think we had weird coffee.”

“What? But you’re fine.”

“Yeah, well,” Rowan continued to make up a story, “we both got one, but I didn’t like the taste, it was too strong. Lister felt bad for throwing them out so he finished both of them, didn’t you?”

“Ye-Yes,” he finally caught on. Had to admit, Ro was impressive at this. Lister started to believe what their friend used to say: that he can lie very well, he just chooses not to. “I didn’t want to waste it. The coffee.”

“Lister,” Jimmy grunted in disbelief, hands on his hips. “That was a brilliant idea, you walnut! Look at yourself, you’re gonna be sick now!”

“I’m not.”

“You look it.”

“I’m just…” He rubbed his clammy hands together. “I’m just anxious I guess.”

“Well, no shit. Why do you think I avoid caffeine?” Jimmy sighed and dropped into a squat in front of Lister. He took Lister’s hands in his. “Seriously, are you okay? You’re not gonna have a heart attack, are you?”

“No, babe. I’m alright.” The last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to be anxious too.

He looked down at Jimmy. The realization dawned on him, as he noticed that his partner dropped onto one of his knees to be more comfortable; very soon, the roles will be reversed. It will be Lister down on one knee, only Jimmy would be standing up in that case…

Okay.

Wow.

This is what true internal screaming felt like.

“You need water, as in now,” Jimmy decided and jumped up. “I’ll need you to drink at least three glasses before we start, that should help.”

He rushed out of the room to get hands on some water. Rowan and Lister looked at each other, the pretence gone.

“Alright?” Rowan nodded.

“I’m fucking choking, dude,” Lister replied.

It almost looked as if his friend was going to give him advice, or maybe say something generic and calming… but instead, Rowan let out a small laugh. Lister’s lips started twisting without him giving the command.

And then the two collapsed laughing. The pressure of this being the very last show and the knowledge of what Lister was about to do at the end of it were just the right recipe for hysterics.

Jimmy didn’t bother to ask twice what the joke was, as long as they promised they weren’t laughing at him.

-----------------------------------

As the concert was coming to an end and the crowd was cheering and chanting for an encore, Rowan seized the opportunity and called: “Alright, friends, we would like to indulge you in a little experiment! Can you join me at the front, Lister?”

Lister got out from behind the drum set and jogged to meet the rest of the group. Jimmy smiled, but his eyes studied both of them suspiciously. “What is this?”

Lister lazily raised his arms with the palms of his hands towards the crowd. “I have to admit, we kind of didn’t tell Jimmy what this is about. Sorry, my guy.” People laughed. Rowan signalled someone backstage, as Lister added: “But just so you don’t feel left out, you can have this triangle.” A nervous assistant handed Jimmy the instrument and ran off again.

Everybody was jeering and whistling, but there was an air of anticipation in the air.

“Oh wow, that’s generous of you,” Jimmy grimaced.

“I know, right? Anyhow.” Lister took a step forward, trying to calm himself. He could do this. He had acting jobs, he could absolutely pull this off.

He was Lister freaking Bird! He was the fan favourite!

“Dear audience, allow me to tell you a tale,” he addressed the crowd in his best narrator voice. A couple of screams rose from the crowd, but everyone else was listening intently. Behind him, Rowan started strumming a little melody on his guitar – one they created especially as a backdrop to Lister’s talk.

“I know this is a little unusual,” Lister admitted to the sea of people, “I know that you’re used to stories coming to you via this man’s voice,” he pointed at Jimmy, “and this man’s lyrics.” Rowan. “I know that I am just a simple drummer in this arrangement. But today, I will do the voice and the words. Because, well… Talking all the time is the one thing I am actually good at.”

That made the crowd laugh. Good. Great.

“But now, on with the story!” he exclaimed and made a motion with his hands as if he was showing them a canvas.

“Picture this. We are all fifteen, stuffed into a tiny studio in London,” he smiled, as if nostalgic. His voice flowed out of him in a steady melody, like the hum of a river. “We all had that awkward long hair phase – yes, I see some true veterans in the audience today. Good,” he smiled at a couple of girls in the front who seemed to know exactly which haircuts he meant. He raised his hands again. “I am sitting outside the recording room, behind the glass. On the other side, there’s Jimmy. I can see him clearly, I hope you can too,” he said, keeping his dreamy smile. “The giant black hoodie. The fringe almost hiding his eyes. Jimmy waits for the cue, bouncing up and down,” he chuckled as he swayed up and down on his toes, “and then starts singing the interlude in our first album. It’s only about two lines that we need to record, but I remember wishing it lasted longer. Obviously. Because his voice is amazing.”

The audience started yelling and swooning at once. Lister was honestly more okay looking at them than if he had to look at Jimmy and see what his reaction is.

Now, here comes the real cliché.

“But then,” he paused with real embarrassment in his voice, “then he looked up from under his hair… at me, with those big brown eyes… and asked me, if he was okay.”

Breathe in, and:

“My friends, that was the moment I have fallen for Jimmy Kaga-Ricci.”

A roar of screams started rising from the audience, when Rowan strummed dramatically on the guitar, as if something tragic had happened. Lister shot a look at Jimmy and found him laughing. Surprised, but amused.

Thank fuck. I’ve never told him that before.

On the outside, he theatrically turned to Rowan and scolded him: “I was just getting sentimental here?”

Rowan shrugged and strummed a more positive jingle. Everyone laughed and clapped. Lister was starting to enjoy this, actually. He sighed and walked forward onto a prolonged platform where Jimmy was usually stood on.

“Well, maybe my trusty assistant was right with the sound effects,” he admitted jovially. “Because my crush absolutely did not like me back for years. Hey, but that’s not to throw shade at the guy,” he added quickly to prevent any pitiful reaction that would make Jimmy feel bad. “Because you have to consider that I was and still am a bloody mess of a person.” That amused the listeners. Lister turned round, as he exclaimed. “I am the creator of problems, the maker of terrible decisions. We can all agree that Jimmy is a lovely lad…” He had to pause for the overwhelming reaction in support of that statement. “Yes, he is, but inflicting my teenage self upon him, that would just not be right.”

Jimmy suddenly clanked the metal stick against the triangle in an absolute cacophony to draw attention to himself. “Excuse me,” he called to Lister, “could you stop insulting yourself? I would enjoy that.”

A girl somewhere below them screamed as if she was getting murdered. They exchanged a quick glance, as if to say a little yikes, but then Lister laughed it off.

“Sorry, sorry,” he continued. “Through it all, Jimmy was always here for me. He was one of my first real friends. He was understanding when I needed it most, and ready to kick my ass when I needed it most.” He smiled at his boyfriend and hoped his voice is not shaking. “Look at you, Jimmy! I’m being embarrassing in front of hundreds of people and you still haven’t walked off stage.”

Jimmy laughed and lightly hit the triangle. He was ever the professional, but his eyes glimmered in curiosity. Expectation.

Lister kept looking at him. Rowan was strumming a slightly different melody now, and if Lister did say so himself, the atmosphere was fucking perfect.

“What I want to say is…, I feel that we were together before we got together. We were always partners. A great team. Maybe you wouldn’t think the same,” he admitted to Jimmy, “but a girl can dream. Oh! A rhyme!” He exclaimed to a symphony of awwws and ooohs. People were laughing again, clapping here and there. “That will be the only time!” Lister made a face of feigned shock. “Or not? Wow, I’m unpredictable!”

“You’re hot,” Jimmy rhymed with unexpected confidence.

The crowd was screaming their heads off at this interaction. Even Lister was a little flustered. He came back to his bandmates and gestured toward Jimmy, who was still smirking a little. “And he can improv, what’s not to like, honestly!”

Now, there came the challenge. Lister took a deep breath and prayed to all deities that were listening for this to come off as more sweet than cringy.

His voice fell into a different rhythm. One he kept studying every possible minute from any good slam poetry or original poem reading he could find online.

“But now, if our audience permits,” he put one hand on his chest, turning directly to Jimmy, “I would like to address you. Because, dear Jimmy, although I love each face in the crowd, my friends, my family, those that are both… I can state loud and proud that the biggest part of my heart goes to you.” He grinned sheepishly at Jimmy’s stunned expression, when he added: “If not all of it.”

“I can only guess what goes on in that mind, whether you think this is suspicious or kind… I can’t know these things. But there is one thing I do know. That no matter how much we grow, what we lose and what we gain, through all the smiles and all the pain, I will love you. It’s as big and as small as this. And today was an opportunity I couldn’t miss. So, nobody panic, stay in your seats. It’s not what it looks like.”

He got down on one knee in front of his boyfriend.

Jimmy gasped in sync with the audience: “Lister!” He backed away.

“Oh no, mister, don’t panic,” Lister retorted. That managed to amuse Jimmy a little – that he would know this would be the reaction. The audience was still going absolutely wild. Another pride flag just about missed Lister’s left ear.

“As I said, it’s not what it looks like. And I’m sick of rhyming by now, so…” He reached for Jimmy’s hand. Pulled it down to his by the triangle and encouragingly pressed a thumb into his palm. “I wanted to tell you – in a way that means something – that I don’t see myself living my life with anyone but you. So I have a question. Can you imagine me proposing in the near future?”

Jimmy looked like he suddenly couldn’t speak any human language. The only thing that came from his open lips was: “Huh?”

He was trying not to panic. To explain it well. Better than he had to Rowan.

“I would like to start talking about marriage. With you. I’m asking your permission to… go pick out a ring, perhaps. And propose to you. One day.”

“You want to…” He was trying so hard to make sense of this situation. Lister could almost hear the wheels in his brain clanking and whirring. After a second, Jimmy blurted out about the last thing Lister expected. “You really want to marry me?”

He had to laugh. That sounded so bizarre! You have the wrong number, I don’t think you want to marry me, of all people. As if.

Covering Jimmy’s hand with both of his own, he answered: “Who else, Jimmy?”

As there was no instant reply, Lister felt the audience grow impatient.

This was the time to smooth things out. Make it amusing.

“Okay, I don’t want to stress you out. You can just think about it,” he ensured his partner. But I just wanted to let you know my, er, intentions.” Wow, great choice of words, Bird. But was there any better? He decided to make fun of himself a little when he sarcastically added: “Because this is the regency era, apparently.”

People were losing it. However, Lister was only looking at Jimmy now… and realized that the eyes of his boyfriend were welling up with tears as he looked down. Were they happy or sad tears? Shit.

“Oh…” Lister managed to say, when Jimmy dropped the triangle on the floor with a thud and shakily took Lister’s face into his soft palms.

His voice was trembling with emotion, as he answered:

“Allister Bird, I would love to marry you. I don’t think you even need to propose again.”

Before Lister could even register what he meant, Jimmy leaned down and gently pressed a kiss at his forehead. This was probably as close to kissing in public as Jimmy would ever allow.

Lister finally realized. He realized.

At the same time, Jimmy dropped down and Lister shot up. They embraced each other tightly, a mess of crumpled clothes and limbs and teary laughing, and Lister almost lifted Jimmy off the ground as he was happy-crying into the shorter man’s shoulder.

They heard Rowan screaming at the top of his lungs: “HE SAID YES, PEOPLE!” His voice was drowned out by the massive storm of excited screams that wouldn’t seize for good twenty minutes after.

But Lister and Jimmy didn’t really pay attention.

Paradoxically, although everyone could see them – and everyone would see them, as the news probably already travelled through the internet at the speed of light – it felt like this moment was theirs alone.

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