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whoreadsnowadays · 2 years

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TALK ABOUT HIM TO MEEEEE I WANNA HEAR EVERY THOUGHT FR 🗣🗣🗣

HHHHHHHHHHH OK OK OK OK-

This isn't solely gonna be abt Shatter, bc I genuinely cannot think of much to say that I haven't touched on at least a little in the actual story, and I have so much to say for 2012 Leo in general he's so hhhhh brain worms.

That being said- LEO BREAKING DOWN CRYING IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHERS. IN SHATTER OR NOT. LEO BREAKING DOWN CRYING IN FRONT OF HIS BROTHERS.

And along that line, the turtles in an extreme maybe apocalyptic situation, everyone turns to Leo like "What's the plan? What's going on what do we do?" and because Leo's in front, his back to his brothers, none of them can see the pure terror and horror on his face as he stares forward at the mess they've encountered. The others continue to prod at him, until he snaps, "Just give a second!" And the others can tell just from his voice how terrified he is- LITERALLY JUST- LEO BEING FORCED TO BE VULNERABLE AROUND HIS BROTHERS- that's my shit right there.

And, headcanons now, when he's anxious he hugs himself, rubs his arms, and paces. It gets so bad sometimes that his legs ache for days at a time, but he still has to get that pent up energy out somehow, so he ends up making the pain worse by pacing even more.

And after the leg injury/window thing he's constantly tapping his hands and his good foot, trying to get the same sensation that pacing gave him and always falling short. So every time he goes to pace he has to force himself to just pat any nearby surfaces, trying to resist the urge to get up and move around

Honestly during the farmhouse arc I feel like there isn't any part of that adventure in which he isn't on the verge of a panic attack.

SPEAKING OF PANIC ATTACKS- when he has an attack he has a tendency to hyperventilate to the point that he gets dizzy and almost faints. Usually when he gets the head rush it's like a wake up call, like "Oh you're about to pass out get your breathing under control" but sometimes when it's rly bad n he's panicking too much to fix his breathing, he'll fully collapse and faint. And while it's an incredibly unhealthy way to deal with it, he does always wake up feeling calmer. But that's just because he's too shaken up to really panic anymore.

The first time he works himself up to fainting his brothers all panic simultaneously, only for him to wake up and go "what? I fainted? Weird. Anyway."

ALSO. ADHD. THIS ASSHOLE HAS THE ADHD WITHOUT THE H. His brain is always going a thousand miles a minute, and he's gotten good at sorting through his thoughts quick enough to come up with a quick game plan, but when hes nervous or anxious or just plain scared, he has trouble sorting through everything because it's going too fast for even him

AND FREQUENT HEADACHES. This bitch gets headaches at least once every 2 weeks. Normally they aren't that bad and a nap can make them go away, but occasionally the pain will be bad enough that it has him holed up in his dark room for a whole day.

(Before u continue I must say I love Splinter he's a good character, but I am borderline Splinter bashing for the next three paragraphs)

Daddy Issues off the fucking charts. This bitch is craving validation and reassurance. He loves Splinter, and he knows Splinter loves him, he's shown that multiple times, but his sensei is just so emotionally distant that he doesn't feel entirely comfortable coming to him for reassurance or affection.

AND as an oldest child myself, I can say with confidence that this bitch has the weight of the whole household on his shoulders. Sure Splinter trains them and gives them wisdom and advice and all that, but Leo is the one to force Donnie to bed at 3am, he's the one to make Raph take breaks when training, he's the one that listens to Mikey's rants and hangs his art on the fridge.

Honestly Leo's relationship to Splinter is rly fucking interesting ok? At least the idea of it I have in my head. Leo looks up to and admires Splinter, he wants to be as good of a ninja and a leader as Splinter is. He wants to make his father proud. But also he's scared of Splinter. When anything goes wrong he knows that Splinter will look to him for an explanation, and he knows that if his explanation is less than ideal it'll be his head on the line, no matter who's fault it was. It's always "Leonardo, why were you not watching your brothers? You are their leader. You need to be leading them, keeping them out of trouble." And Leo can't help but feel annoyed as well, because really what's he going to do? Put them all on child leashes? He can't help what they do and it's unfair for Splinter to put the blame on him as well.

#Romeo Speaks #i have so many thoughys abt 2012 leo #hes taking up so much room in my braim #i have more to say but im eating dinner rn

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chicago-reeed · 4 years

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Detroit Evolution

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

#fun game: watch the film and try to guess what each of these crazy ramblings is referring to #im still reeling from all of that #I think I need to watch it again #yes that sounds like a plan #this is kind of like a review #if it were written by an emotional crackhead who got zero sleep last night #also #happy easter babes #if u celebrate it of course #what did we do to deserve this film #jfc there are still tears in my eyes #I need to watch it again asap #Detroit evolution #octopunk media #reed900

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huangsilks · 4 years

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let your walls down for me (z.cl)

summary: worries about university, SATs, and moving away weighed heavily like a burden on your shoulders. one thing you knew for sure, though, was that your friendship with him wouldn’t falter, and you found solace in that.

pairing: bestfriend!chenle x reader

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

a/n: hhHHH this is my first actual fic and i’m not v satisfied djsjdjjfjd but i enjoyed writing it and that’s the thing that matters!! if anyone is reading this rn and wants to be friends: hi! i’m cam! i wanna make more friends 🥺 👉🏻👈🏻

“you look like actual shit.” bestfriend!chenle snickers at you, a cheeky grin adorning his features as he pays close attention to the messy side bangs that fell into your face and uniform tie that was thrown on lopsidedly. you roll your eyes as he meets you on the sidewalk in front of your house, the same sidewalk you two had met each morning since second grade. chenle reaches out his hand and brushes your fallen locks behind your ears, chuckling at your irritated expression as you swat his hand away.

“well maybe if someone didn’t keep me up all night playing pubg, i would’ve woken up to my alarm.” you playfully side-eye him, knowing full well that your disheveled state was upon his insistence. flashbacks rang in your head from the night prior, a full seven hours of your life spent gaming that you’d never get back. considering you two would be uni students in just the next year, your sleep schedule was horrendous.

“we need to get more sleep than we do. you know that sleep deprivation is bad for adolescent brain development?” you nag.

“okay, okay. mom.” chenle disregards your light scolding, draping his arm over your shoulders nonchalantly. chenle was naturally a touchy person, even when you guys were little, so you were used to everything at this point— the hand-holding, the back-hugging, the general invasion of space when it came to him. admittedly, you weren’t the biggest fan of skinship, but zhong chenle was always an exception. he did it so often that people thought you two dated (not that you minded).

“your brain is so underdeveloped because you never sleep.” you tease, and he immediately feigns an overdramatic look of hurt, pushing you away from him. you beamed at his comical response. his orange locks radiated in the early morning light, and the up-turned corners of his lips stretch into a shit-eating grin.

“say that to me the next time you ask for calculus help, dipshit.” he mocks, and you stand on your tip-toes to ruffle up his hair, messing up the tangerine coloured locks (although he managed to still look good).

chenle sticks his tongue out at you, putting his arm back on your shoulder the way it was before. you were all smiles at his affectionate nature. a comfortable ambience fell over the two of you, as you basked in the undisturbed sunrise and yielded to the peaceful routine of walking to school.

“so have you asked bora to be your prom date, yet?” you inquired your best friend. jang bora was a good friend of yours both since elementary.

“it’s only the first day of senior year, it’s too early to ask her. what about you? find anyone you’d wanna go with?”

“no, not really. maybe i’ll just go alone.” you complained, scratching the back of your head. it wasn’t that you didn’t want to go, but nobody in particular really caught your eye.

“c’mon, don’t be like that. i know so many guys who would love to be your date, y/n.” chenle leaned in a little closer to whisper in your ears, “and i heard a rumour that park jisung wants to ask you.” he teases you with his gummy grin, a sparkle in his eye meant only for you.

“i don’t think so, chenle.” you shake off his mischievous laughter, holding back a smile of your own. “i think he’s more interested in you than me.” you add subconsciously.

“hey, if it makes you feel any better, you can be my date if bora rejects me. deal?”

“wow, chenle, i just love being your second choice.” you sardonically joke.

it was early autumn, and the typically mediocre scenery of your neighborhood seemed almost picturesque today. the muted orange hues of the fallen leaves perfectly complimented chenle’s bright ginger hair, a byproduct of some mindless bet he lost during summer. you swore that orange hair would look revolting on anyone; but he was zhong chenle, and zhong chenle looked good in everything. you still recalled the self-satisfied cackles chenle made at your widened eyes, because what the hell, chenle? how do you look that good with orange hair?

morning walks with chenle were always a safe haven for you two. all pressures to be considered ‘popular’ or ‘cool’ were reserved for the rest of the day, with other schoolmates and friends, but never with eachother. you liked starting your days off with him, opting to simply enjoy eachother’s presence rather than bombarding eachother with too much talk and mental stimulation at such an early hour. it was in these moments that you two could be at peace with yourselves.

you sigh in contentment at the foreign breeze, recognizing the first sign of autumn. to you, the messy escapades of summer— driving around in chenle’s car during the ungodliest of hours, blasting 80s rock music with the windows down so that the wind would seep into your hair— these events seemed so distant and long-gone. an image of two teenagers huddled haphazardly under a thick blanket, a twitch streamer on the laptop being the only source of light, chewing on shitty leftover pizza as you two struggled to stay awake—these were memories of a hazy dream you’d try so hard to remember. recollections of sandy flip-flops, overly competitive volleyball games, and cloud-watching at the beach, with chenle’s orange head in your lap as he dreamt lazily, airpods in his ears and sunscreen on his nose. these all were snapshots frozen in time. a time that felt lightyears away from the present, a time you’d try so hard to hold onto.

because now, it was the first day of senior year, and everything would be changing. the hustle and bustle of ap classes, sports games, student council, part-time jobs, and the pretense of a social life always kept both you and chenle on your feet. nothing would ever be the same in a few months, as the never-ending questions about university would loom over everyone, the topics of scholarships and SATs and moving away constantly being thrown around. it was all so overwhelming, so burdensome. one thing you knew for sure, though, was that your friendship with chenle wouldn’t falter, and you found solace in that alone.

you were zhong chenle’s best friend since second grade — he was intelligent, charismatic, well-rounded, and widely popular towards the entirety of the school. he assumed the role of student council treasurer, the soccer team’s infamous right midfielder, and subject to much talk amongst the females in your highschool. but with you, he was just zhong chenle, the sweet boy who moved in two doors down from you when you were 9. there was no facade your eyes couldn’t see past.

“hey, y/n?” chenle begins, and you glance up at him next to you, peering through your eyelashes. “can i ask you, like, a serious question?” you nod at your best friend, caught off gaurd by the sudden question.

“does the future ever scare you?” he ponders nervously. you pause in your steps, thinking of the right words to say. chenle looks at his feet, avoiding your eye contact.

“well, whether we like it or not, the future is going to happen, right? and i don’t think there’s any point in fearing the inevitable. the best we can do is try adjust to the changes and enjoy the ride.” you admit, honestly. and if you were anyone else, chenle might’ve laughed at the cheesy answer, might’ve made a joke about how you made everything too serious and tried to lighten the situation. but it was you, and he could trust you with anything.

“but y/n. everything is going to change in a few months. there’s final exams, graduation, and prom. but after that, it’s all just a jumble of ambiguous what-ifs. nothing is assured anymore. i never told you this, but i might have to move away for my soccer scholarship. i’ve never lived away from home and i don’t... i don’t think i can handle it. it’s too much all at once.”

his sudden rant of emotion was laced with anxiety and stress. you instinctively take his larger hand into yours, feeling how shaky and clammy they had become. you knew it took a lot out of him to finally admit those words to you.

“i know how you feel, chenle. but you’re strong. you’ve handled everything life has thrown at you, every single time. you can handle this, too.”

“but— but what if i never come back? the thought of losing everything and everyone scares me, so much.... i can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

his anxious words drifted into the autumn wind, ringing through your mind like a mantra. zhong chenle constantly tried so hard to be perceived as perfect and flawless to the whole world, that sometimes it was shocking when he let his walls come down to you. you don’t respond at first, not sure what to say to his vulnerable confession; so you don’t respond immediately, and instead, you took his face into your hands and stared him in the eyes, feeling the warmth and softness of his skin. you hold out your arms and wrap them around his taller frame, saying nothing for a few moments. you two were silent during this intimate time. when you pulled back, his surprised eyes were filled with tears.

“i know you, zhong chenle. you will get through this. and plus, i’ll never leave your side. it’s always going to be you and me, ok? wherever you go.” you assure him, beaming optimistically. and you meant every word.

he blinked away the tears and laughed, “thank you, y/n, for being my best friend. thank you for staying with me all these years... i love you.” his words left you taken aback. in all your years of friendship, chenle never told you he loved you. you wiped his tears away with your sleeve and laughed at his sad expression.

“awww, i love you too, you dummy. you know that right? now stop crying, you look like a baby.”

chenle snakes his arms around your waist and pinches your sides, sending a tickle jolting up your body. you slap his forearm as he chortles jubilantly in response.

“ow! nevermind, i take it back. i totally hate you.” you mock.

(you love him. very, very much).

he holds your hand all the way to school, and you know that wherever life brought you two in the following months, despite the anxious discussions on university and scholarships and moving away, zhong chenle would always be yours.

#nct drabbles #nct writing #nct writers #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream fluff #nct dream chenle #zhong chenle #nct chenle #nct chenle fluff #nct fluff #nct fanfiction #nct chenle fanfiction #nct dream imagines #nct dream blurbs #nct blurbs #nct drram drabbles #nct imagines

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rach-hell · 6 years

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a-z my question: am i ur fave

A - If I’m in love. i genuinely don’t know. and if i am idk if it’s just one person. either way i’m definitely over it so… fuck me, right? :/ my emotions are a mess and i just have so much affection to give this sucks

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.my roomieeeee he thought i was drunk cause i was ranting a million tangents at once lmao

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.february 18th :/

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.definitely girls. it’s probably about 90/10 women/men.

E - How many piercings I have.zilch, idk if i want any or not i haven’t really thought about it. if i transition i’ll def get my ears done but as is?? eeeeeehhh

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’ sunflowers or roses?R O S E S

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to. in a casual way? u :’D romantically? my ex :/

H - The last person I hugged. roomieeee he gives rly good hugs when i need them honestly i’m so grateful to him ;w;

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why. literally today, i feel like i haven’t done anything fun ever tbh, i feel like i missed out and it sucks like i’m bitter but not at anyone just at the fact that i’m not really living my life and others are and that hurts

J - Are you insecure. What about? god… everything… my face my voice my body in general my complete inability to do anything my lack of any actual skills or talents my lack of passion or drive for anything, my lack of life experience the feeling that i’ll never experience or achieve anything… tbh i’m completely and fundamentally unhappy with every aspect of my life and who i am as a person lol

K - What my full name is. eeehhhh not on the internet sorry, hmu girlie, but it’ll be a trade

L - If I have siblings. nooooope

M - If I forgive betrayal. not on your fucking life. tbh i don’t forgive easily in general

N - Favourite animal? PUMAAAAA I LOV THEM LOOKIT THEY PAWS THEY’RE SO BEFFY

O - Where would I like to travel i reeeaaally wanna see more of the americas, the wilderness there is beyond gorgeous, i also absolutely adore italy and iceland those two are my bucketlist tbh. and i have heeeaaps of family in germany and some in france so i wanna go there for sure. and spain. and i’d really love to take a trip to japan and do lots of photography the urban environment there is so different from ours it’s gorgeous dang.

P - What kind of music I like. like… everything. lately i’ve been listening to absolute trash my current faves are halsey, dua lipa, hey violet, missio, saint PHNX, dreamers, 21p, but i also adore shit like globus (who are criminally underrated fr go listen to black parade and come back to me without goosebumps and tears in your eyes), missy higgins, arctic monkeys, grinspoon, chilli peppers, pearl jam, mcr, i have too many faves to list i’m giving up, when i was younger i was reeeaaaally into like, maiden and rob zombie and judas priest and shit… i know, i know.

Q - Favourite flower? arum lillies

R - Is cheating ever okay? fuck off. if anyone asks this seriously take their teeth out and ditch their disgusting asses.

S - 2 habits.

ugh i bite my nails SO bad it’s awful :/

uh… fuck idk i’m struggling here… not really a habit (and nsfw avert ur eyes kiddies) but if i don’t cum daily i get super grumpy and also kinda needy and whiny it’s not pretty i’m a mess

T - 3 things I love unconditionally.

my friends

good music

good food

i know these are all kinda cheap answers but i don’t have much else :/

U - Favourite time of year, and why autumn, i love the colours and the smells and the overcast skies and the raaaaiiin and it’s perfect photography lighting and the temperature’s just right

V - Big dreams? i used to have them, i’ve kinda just settled down to “survive” now…

W - If I’ve done something I regret very much.a lot of things, none of which i feel comfortable discussing in the open other than my last breakup that was… poorly handled on my part. like… it’s done now and i’m (trying to) deal, but i think i fucked up a mostly good thing because i was going through a rough time and i’m pretty sure i made the wrong choice. if you’re interested in the rest hmu when i’m drunk hun, they’re super personal and don’t shed me in a particularly great light

X - 3 turn ons goddd how can i list just 3 hhhhh

for sake of ease ima just say power exchange, p much any dynamic that falls under that umbrella is A+++

idk what we’re going for here?? like things that get me goin’ for sex or sex things i like?? maybe i just go for the former?? fuck this is Hard um… if u drop your voice real low and breathy and husky and get in close and piurtehorijkwgesfsds WRECK ME

lots of super gentle touching like touch my thighs or my tum or run your fingers along my spine or in my hair i’ll be messy tbh

FUCK IT THAT’S 3-ISH

Y - 3 turns offs

SUPER PUSHY/”““HINTING”““/AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE WHEN I’M CLEARLY NOT RECIPROCATING IT JUST CREEPS ME TF OUT STOP

ok this sounds ridiculous but like… lack of interest, if you don’t put any effort into whatever shenanigans we’re into and you’re just kinda flat it just gives me the impression you’d literally not care if we were doing anything else and idk like… don’t be a fucking board during sex like that ruins errything for me. like i know it’s not always 100% like… “dragging moans from ur throat whether u want to or not” but like… damn put some effort in homeslice, show me you’re actually enjoying yourself like sometimes ya just make a bit of noise or get a lil theatrical for ur partner’s sake and that’s fine, doesn’t mean you’re faking it. this got long soz.

again this is gonna sound weird but like… idk in my sex life i have a history of being w/ people who like… didn’t wanna touch me? like if ur not suuuuper into dicks fine but also idk don’t make me feel like you think my body’s gross honestly longterm that’s really fucked w/ my self esteem not just a turn off lol

Z - Ask any question you want. am i ur fave?homegirl i’m at least 23% in love with u duh what kind of dumbass fucking question smh you really are a stupid girl

#asks #personal #@ the bunbun #THANKYOUUUUU ILY HUN <3 #1-800-babybunny

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shslenergytransferspecialis-blog · 7 years

Text

45 development q’s or w/e

TW for car accident (mention?) and death (mention?)

also uh. fetish talk? discussion? mention? i’m not sure what to classify that as

I said I’d redo this after endgame like cue and farren but unlike cue I did not do this in advance whoops

if a question is bolded that means there’s NEW INFO WOWIE

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Nah. *typically makes his OCs only children so he doesn’t have to develop siblings bc he’s way too lazy*

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

It was good! I mean I don’t really have anything else to say about it, but they were close.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Same as above tbh

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Yes. Holly. (And for that reason maybe Michiko but idk)

New: okay so. shit I guess I’m just gonna dump the big spoiler in this question right here.

Masashi has symphorophilia. He is sexually attracted to staging and watching disasters. This is ultimately the reason he got into his talent of making rube goldberg machines.

anyway. he discovered this after witnessing his parents’ car accident that ultimately led to the end of their lives. and yeah he told holly at some point about his parents so.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

In-game, usually just his ID card. Outside of the game, other than essentials like ID, wallet, etc. he carries mints around.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Yeah. (”What are they?” shhh)

New: i mean. disaster.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Tbh I don’t think Masashi would ever classify any dream as a “nightmare.” So… no.

New: due to his symphorophilia and how Masashi handles things, he wouldn’t ever consider anything a nightmare because anything bad would still be... well, enjoyable for him.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I mean… probably. But there’s no specific event in his backstory with this subject so your guess is as good as mine.

(”Corey these are the worst answers ever” LISTEN, I’M SORRY,)

New: Masashi’s probably fuckin killed someone due to How He Is but I never created any specific moments like that in his backstory, so,

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Yes. It’s higher now.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

He typically wears “more” clothing but he’s not more comfortable with that. He’s indifferent, he’ll wear whatever.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Masashi doesn’t really… get afraid. I mean he would have during his childhood but again, no specific event.

He’s definitely experiencing something in-game that could… potentially be classified as making him “afraid” but spoilers. And it’s not really related to the mutual-killing biz.

New: Here I mean before discovering his fetish, but again, nothing personally developed by me. ha ha ha I suck at developing ocs okay-

As for the second part, uh... I honestly can’t remember what I was referring to LMAO

but I can definitely say his feelings for Holly have made him “afraid”, at least in some sort. he’s never actually cared for anyone and he knows that he won’t be afraid to hurt her even though he cares for her, because hurting someone he cares about? delightful. but yeah he’s also rational (I mean in some cases) and doesn’t want to do that to someone he cares about, he just... knows he would.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

he always calm

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Not at all.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

… Both. Neither one easier than the other.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Both/yes? For spoiler reasons unfortunately.

New: people with money and material possessions tend to hold power and are looked up to. and if people are looking up to him he can manipulate them in the name of disaster ahyuck. so yeah he wants money and whatnot

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Happiness. That ultimately drives everything he does.

New: Sating his fetish drives everything he does.... which is his happiness, as unfortunate and awful as that is.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

One of those toy piano things.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

I’d say either, but in-game points to ambition.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Ha ha ha spoiler question. Yes, yes it has.

New: Honestly all the modified questions should be very predictable for you now. his biggest flaw is his lack of empathy and actually caring about anyone due to his symphorophilia. so he tends to just have his fun with people before doing something stupid. ...actually this still applies to the very rare case he actually does care about someone, like holly, because he’ll still do something stupid eventually.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Masashi would just make observations rather than compare himself to someone, although the times he ever would compare himself to others would be for both self-validation and self-criticism… for spoiler reasons.

New: if someone is well-respected and trusted, Mash is going to Copy The Shit Out of Them... because he wants to gain trust from people. ...I didn’t do this in game because I’m a moron but. y’know

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

…He wouldn’t really care either way.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Spoiler question.

(”Corey how is that even possible for this one” HEY I’M TRYING OKAY)

New: Masashi doesn’t really “““like”““ people, so what he likes to see in other people is naivety and gullibility and... y’know. things that make it easy to manipulate them. thanks

Holly is... complicated and deserves her own post. even if it isn’t long-winded, especially because it’s me we’re talking about and I don’t go in-depth with anything

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

See above.

New: people like Yuka who are very wary of others and not willing to put trust in like anyone. (sorry Yuka you were the first example to come to mind i love her tho)

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

See above, even though that probably gives away the answer to this one in some manner.

New: He doesn’t really... “trust” people? but like he isn’t wary of them... he’ll go along with a lot of things. If people screw him over, well.. he’d enjoy it. Ugh

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

He’s very quick to suspect someone else, but only because it doesn’t change his opinion of them. Like… he doesn’t care. As usual.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Same as around anyone else, really. Polite. Agreeable. Nice. hhhhh

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

It’s kinda situational depending on who’s confronting him. In most cases he’d just try to defuse the situation/appease the person. In the other cases he’d just instigate them further and generally be a smug asshole oops.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Slow. Masashi’s a noodle, he won’t resort to physical violence unless, somehow, he’s absolutely certain he’d prevail. …I really can’t see that situation happening in a normal 1v1 type confrontation.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Being a musician à la piano (hi Ayato). It did not come true, obviously.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Uh, pretty much nothing.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Anywhere with a person/people that trust him.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

The opposite of the above, I guess? But like… it’s hard to answer this and the one above like I want without spoiler so… next.

New: AGAIN, ANSWERS ARE VERY PREDICTABLE NOW I’M SURE. It’s not possible for Masashi to feel uncomfortable... I mean, like, it is, but he’d most likely be enjoying whatever the hell is happening, so... paradox, dude.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Unless the criticism is coming from a select few people, he won’t give a shit about it and would just blow it off/ignore it.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

He’d stop and reevaluate whatever the situation is, and either keep trying the same solution/method after minor adjustments or move on depending on what he feels is best.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Less stiff/formal. (only slightly)

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Hard to say. Masashi doesn’t really “““dislike”““ people.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Status, I suppose.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Is both possible

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

I wanna say no but I guess it’s always possible, especially if he was doing something incredibly ridiculous for a Rube Goldberg machine. Clearly not affected by it in the event that it happened anyway.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Respectfully. … Not much else.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

…Mostly the former, but he’s not, like… spoiled/stupid about it.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Naw.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Alright I’m dumb does this mean like Mash depending on someone or someone depending on Mash?

If it’s him depending on someone, no.

If it’s someone depending on him…… does Holly count-

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Extremely easy, yes definitely.

New: Again, if saying “I love you” helps him gain more points/trust/whatever with someone, he has no problem saying it. And he never means it.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Nothing. He’ll cease existing, that’s the end, whatever. It doesn’t scare him, no.

#ooc #about masashi #question 4 is all you'll ever need to know about him #i didn't really change as much as i thought i would because i'm lazy and would just... sound like a broken record repeating the same things #over and over

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