#honestly i just miss my friend a lot

[astrxealis]

if i do "?" in text i'm genuinely tilting my head like a dog if i do "!!" my eyes are sparkling and i am figuratively wagging my tail if i am IN ALL CAPS i'm screaming from the top of a mountain with all the power i can with love and the strength of RAGHHH within me

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #sorry guys. i will not shut up. #honestly i really miss it here on tumblr SNIFFS ..... i say this sm tho but damn real/offline life has really been fun <33 #anyway. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow me #very good day ty to those who greeted me anywhere or even just liked a post as a little hi hbd or just acknowledgement ya know arghhh arghhh #I'M SO TIRED NOW ACTUALLY i'm on 5 battery but watch me keep talking (writing) some more #i'm insane btw i went out w friends earlier this tuesday (love them sm) and then. they pitched in to buy me the origin of species bcs i've #been wanting the book LMFAO AS A BDAY GIFT IDK IT'S SO FUNNY TO ME BUT GENUINELY I'M SO HAPPY (NERD) <333 #and today i've talked a lot again w one best friend and another of my dearest friends and another too and idk fun day fr #okay i shut up now #that's a lie btw who knows when i will shut up #i might shut up now actually actually #actually i like rambling it's so fun teehee #BUT YEAH TY AGAIN ... genuinely makes me so happy i feel so giddy i was scared today would turn out bad and hey it isn't perfect but to me #it kinda is. in its own way. imperfectly perfect ^_^ <3 yeehaw!!

[crow-in-springtime]

#backstory: I found out my friend writes reviews for movies she’s never seen and they’re whole PARAGRAPHS not just a 5⭐️ + short sentence #I’m honestly in awe of the effort. like I watch a lot of movies but I never do reviews because what if I’m *gasp* wrong?!! #I know they don’t really watch movies but that makes it funnier in my opinion #mbs #mysterious benedict society #the mysterious benedict society #tmbs #reynie muldoon #sticky washington #kate wetherall #constance contraire #mr benedict #nicholas benedict #ledroptha curtain #rhonda kazembe #number two #milligan wetherall #miss perumal

[shannonallaround]

Watched Mickey, Donald and Goofy: The Three Musketeers with my siblings tonight and all at once remembered gloriously why I love Mickey so dang much

#he's so wonderful in that film his characterization is perfect #his character clears my skin waters my crops and everything in between #Mickey Donald and Goofy are the most wholesome friends thank you writers of that film so much I love them #when I was younger I thought Minnie was too swoony in that film but honestly she’s so adorable and refreshing actually #I missed Minnie #she and Mickey are SO CUTE #When there's a lot of weirdness in your fandom so much so that it feels like a completely different thing than the source material #when you go back to the source material and it's so blissfully wholesome and funny and meaningful it's this wonderful breath of fresh air #mickey mouse #my first blorbo I love him #mickey donald goofy the three musketeers #mickey and the gang #mickey and friends #the people at disney who worked on this film did NOT get enough credit they deserve a parade #I could rave about this silly little film it's just so wholesome and goofy and wonderful and committed to what it was trying to do #and I appreciate that so much

[teeth-draws]

Couldn’t sleep so sketched formal/ball!trouble from @shepherds-of-haven || view full size bc I don’t care to check ratios before I upload aaaa

#shepherds of haven #trouble alder #cog games #clochus is the demon I hate most of all because due to my stats I have to miss the ball and go with chase to avoid using a WOP #i would much rather be dancing n looking fine n you know maybe knocking over expensive things on purpose…! #this picture exists in a fantasy timeline where mc is not passed tf out and they find trouble somewhere after the party #he’s processing what just happened but also trying to figure out if his distaste for the grandeur of the party is something he can get over #we see how much party food we can ‘confiscate’ and have it distributed to the masses #thanks prihine!!! #so generous! #i know I don’t have any consistent art style right now like this was just a sudden sleep deprived need #and the hair…? teeth vs trouble’s hair vol. 39 #this party is the catalyst to shaving it into a mullet #torn between wanting to look hot and resenting conforming to the beauty standards of nobility #can you imagine him saving a bunch of nobles from a rabid demon and they look up towards their newfound hero and he’s sporting a mullet #look in his eyes like ‘I just saved your life I dare you to say something lol’ #love u trouble ur a g #+ honestly thinking about how he’s not just dense and gos with the most romance flags in the game #his low self-worth actually saves him from a lot of heartbreak considering more often than not mc DOESNT like him back in ‘that way’ #in favour of (often) his 2 best friends #BABES DW YOU HAVE FANS I PROMISE YOU #also do you think trouble weaponises puppy dog eyes or is he unaware of his most powerful weapon…

[taeyungie]

hi ♡ i guess i'm back? 🥹

here's a little life update! i think you guys deserve it after my absence that lasted longer than even i expected it to last ;( i am very sorry about that. i miss everyone here and bangtan so much, you have no idea. the reason for all that is that for the past months i have been going through a lot of things and changes in my life. there were good and bad things happening, time flies extra fast, days melt into one and i didn't even notice the past half a year pass. although i think my absence was unavoidable in these circumstances i just thought that you guys deserve to know what's been up with me for the past months haha i have received a lot messages and reminders that people remember about me and that they miss me and i just want to send all of you my biggest apologies for leaving you for so long with no response, as well as all my love and gratitude! 🥺 i think i've been always fairly transparent on here so if anyone wanted to know more I'll leave some more details in the tags but basically I just hope that soon i will be able to become more active again and respond to messages ❤️❤️❤️ i hope everyone is doing great 🥰

#honestly... it was yoongi's comeback that made it happen. that made me have motivation to come back. i didnt expect it but here we are LOL #because for the past months i have been struggling a lot and i almost lost all the connections with my friends family and bangtan #i lost all my feelings and thoughts #i didnt miss anyone i didnt want to do anything i didnt want to be anywhere. i was completely submerged into my own head #i still am. it didnt exactly get better but.. its just yoongis impact jasbhdjdjd he made me remeber a lot #in october last year i developed a very agressive eating disorder and its gotten a lot worse at the begging of this year #and it has taken everything from me. it sucked me dry and still continues to do so. it made my mental health so much worse on every level #but im still here and thats what matters in the end right ❤️ #from the good things - after long unfortunate and very stressful job hunting i finally got a stable job 🥰 and i continue my uni so far #that's why i was absent here most of the time. i decided to focus on my life and on trying to change something and to fight a little more #after jin's enlistment announcement... it was a wake up call for me #and maybe soon i will be back on track but im taking things slow. especially that its not easy for me at all #but i just wanted you to know that theres been a lot happening here so ❤️ im not just getting bored of tumblr and bts haha #i never stopped following the fandom i never turned off my notifications from media i never stopped looking up what they're up to each day #i just didnt have time and motivation to be active. because of my health i wanted to be quiet and away from eveyone and everything :/ #even from my comfort people and activities #that sounds sad but. it's alright so please don't worry about me ❤️ I'm holding on just fine. got used to some things ❤️ trying to heal #so yeah i think thats that haha i think its enough and all basically #it may seem like very little but my life has always been very slow when it comes to big actions haha #anyway. love you all so much ❤️ thank you for not forgetting about me ❤️ #soon i will try to answer some mesdages from my inbox. please wait for me just a little bit more ❤️ im very overworked right now #but im so sorry that you have to wait so long ❤️

[uzu-hime]

So like legit how does one make friends when they are

-too adhd for normal people

-too depressed for adhd people

-poor (no money to do things or go places)

-25 on the outside, single mom for 10+ years on the inside

-so so lonely but so so afraid of adding anyone else to the "only want to hang out with me when you need free therapy" group that includes everyone I know

#i want friends #but i don't know how to make them #or where to find them #im too weird for a lot of people and too introverted for others #and for some reason everyone i do befriend always ends up being basically my therapy patient #or they only ever want to hang out on their terms which... don't exist #side eyes my friend who always says 'i miss you guys we should hang out' in the group chat but then turns me down #for her boyfriend every single time i try to make plans #'he works night shift i have to clean during the day' girl are you his girlfriend or his maid?? #if you don't want to hang out with me just fucking tell me instead of playing cinderella all the time #my mom says i should get out more and do more things but honestly i live in bumfuck ohio #what things???? #rural america is a nightmare for being social if you don't have money and also don't want to hang out at your local high school #i can't even go to the park in town by myself because too many women have been abducted there #im not making this shit up #i just want someone to sing silly songs with me and try on stupid outfits just for fun and go to new restaurants #no one has ever heard of and sit in the woods in silence for a while and maybe take a nap together and compare grov #*grocery lists and just. #why is it so hard #what is wrong with me that the only friends i have only like me sometimes #even my mom who likes me all the time won't even go shopping with me anymore #she's too burnt out from working #maybe it's not me #maybe im just another victim of capitalist america's isolation #even then i don't know what to do about it. my cat helps but im still just. lonely. #im tired of being lonely #vent post #ignore me

[wayward-sherlock]

me remembering the majority of my first couple of months on this site were defined by people who are no longer in my life anymore :

#like . idk why ive been thinking abt them a lot recently but i have #maybe cuz im working on Something that they don’t get to enjoy because they’re petty and refuse to see anything created by me anymore. idk #maybe it’s cuz im finally doing ok without them. making new friends. having new moots. enjoying life more without their company!! #if you know who im talking abt. you probably do. but if you do just ignore #bc i don’t want my experiences with these two to define your opinions of them 👍 im trying to be more mature than that #but at the same time. so much of me wants to call them out and name drop. but i won’t. #because im moving on and honestly? i hope they’re not moving on from me. so they can see what they’re missing !! #anyways . this was brought to you by a pep talk i needed to hear that nobody’s gonna give me #thank u and goodnight #🫧🪴 #wayli vague posts #except it’s Directed at People #edit to clarify : if you can see this post. i am not talking abt you don’t worry #the people im talking abt blocked me so they can’t see if so if you can see this it’s not about you !! #all of my current moots are wonderful mwah <3 💕

[quirkle2]

i am literally so hungry and yet i am like paralyzed in my seat. why can't i get up and go get food. why am i just sitting here while my stomach wallows in agony. i feel ill. jay be normal

#qktalks #be normal. #me when i can't take care of myself ??? girl just get up and go nothing is stopping u (it feels like the world is stopping me) #anyway sorry this started off as a weird vent post or whatever. u guys know what i miss? animal jam #i miss that game so much #i also played a lot of happy pets on facebook when i was little i've been genuinely considering making a new facebook just to play it again #but is it worth it. no. no is the answer to that #i remember when i played animal jam back when i was little and i finally got that one headdress accessory that was the craze back then #and my best friend at the time got so jealous abt it that they hacked into my account while i was asleep and traded it w their own account #and the next day i was like ''where did all my stuff go'' and they were like ''haha idk'' while wearing my fucking outfit #honestly that's rly hilarious. the fucking audacity #little me wasn't ballsy enough to go ''uhm i think the fuck not'' i was like just ''oh ......... okay :('' #but u bet ur ass if i was as confident back then as i am now ? i woulda maimed them #yes <3 over a video game. that's what kids do didn't u know <3 #god i do miss happy pets tho #that game was so fun and silly. i deleted my facebook tho all my houses upon houses of pets r gone #u could have glowing tigers!!!!! #JUST GOOGLED HAPPY PETS THE GAME GOT SHUT DOWN . OHTHIS IS HORRIBLE #will be mourning this game all night. will be crying in the shower over it #<- acting like she's not in a depressive spiral and will absolutely NOT be showering #im holding a roblox funeral for happy pets who wants to join [has never once played roblox] #anyway weird topic-less rant over goodnight <3 to all my new followers yes i am slightly strange

[arthur-r]

what’s really embarrassing is my roommate on the phone with his mom saying “yeah i’ve been getting really sloppy i haven’t cleaned in a week it’s terrible” and my side of the room is just like that. all of the time. and i feel guilty but he also hasn’t ever said anything to my face he moved my stuff some at the beginning of the year but has never talked to me about it and i’m also so fucking ill that i just cant really handle adding that to my list while trying to also not fail school. so here i am being a terrible person i guess. did i tell you guys about turtle-person. have i showed my bracelets. i’m gonna go to sleep but in the morning i need to show my bracelets

#help i have work tomorrow. i also feel sick and strange. wish me luck #the sun was around today which was incredible but also i think it gave me too much mental energy #cause for the first time in forever i had the brightness of spirit to go for a walk. but that’s not the same as having the blood flow for it #so i think i overexerted myself cause of being finally happy and mentally energized i forgot about being physically disabled #i also had to explain POTS to somebody today and she was literally like ‘oh is that the thing where you need to have salt’ and NO like #i do have a really high salt intake to cope with POTS. but that’s not the fucking thing yknow?? like no that’s not what the thing i have is #it has nothing to do with salt. salt is a fun little coincidence that it can help with water retention which in turn helps with POTS #and it raises blood pressure is i think the other reason? but anyway idk i would honestly rather she just not know about it than have like #that very particular tiktok version of it like i am so glad for internet knowledge being spread and stuff and i mean. i guess even the posts #that i’m about to complain about are good for making people feel like they’re not alone. so maybe it’s fine. but i was going to complain of #the videos that are like ‘‘that one POTS friend’’ and it’s just like. salty food. instead of like. having to sit down?? BEING FATIGUED?? #and like whatever. whatEVER but i wish it wasn’t getting conflated with one particular little way of treating it. even though i use that way #i don’t have needs-a-lot-of-salt-disease. like that’s not the point. that’s not the issue. it’s not a salt deficiency. salt just helps #and it doesn’t FIX it. it just helps. that’s all #ANYWAY EVERYTHING IS FINE. i feel sick though. but i’m gonna sleep and i’ll be fine #i miss before i had a job cause then i could sleep all day if i skipped class and it would be really nice. but now i have a job i would be #missing on my responsibilities for. and I don’t actually have accommodations. but im gonna sleep i’ll be fine #and library book cart is actually so rollator. like as far as being able to walk the library situation is such a win #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep now. but yeah idk i’m sick and a mess what else is new. but i have something whatever i’m good theres something #unrequited love for life or something like that. ok im gonna go to bed sorry for being weird and strange all the time!!!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[todayisafridaynight]

me when i ship zhaohan 😔 there's next to no content unless i'm just not looking in the right spots

be the change you want to see in the world my man.... if i can trick people into thinking masadai is real then i know you can rally the troupes with them lovable goobers......

#snap chats #zhao and yeonsu ARE cute to me tho thats the thing. theyre so sillay #i dont have many ideas with them but i love drawing them together when i get the motivation #i love drawing zhao and joon-gi honestly since Like Ichi i draw them kinda differently from everyone else #/kinda differently/ zhao's a foot tall motherfucker #BUT NO with joon-gi i want him to be a bishounen protag... so it's fun giving him all those sparklies and anime energy... #tho it'd be more appropriate to go for a manhwa art style huh #something to practice me thinks... #REGARDLESS i believe in you anon..... get that propaganda flowing you'll gather a small group in no time... #if you're sick enough in the head <- me #oh but if you arnet confident or know what to do yet !!!! pixiv and twitter generally has a good amount of art for them #i know i happen upon zhao and joon-gi art when i scroll through twitter sometimes #of course you have to follow eastern artists but they ALWAYS have The Best And Most Delicious Shit #they never miss they're the only artists i follow on twitter im p sure LMAO #if you don't know what artists to follow on twitter though pixiv's your best friend #some people are scared of her but not me...... i'm too numb to everything... plus she does have a LOT of good stuff there #'趙ハン' is the zhaohan tag on there. there's 101 works but i know not every thing is tagged sometimes #like a lot of arakawa fam stuff isn't tagged 'arakawa family' or even 'arakawa'- just generally 'yakuza' or 'rgg' and stuff like that #just gotta do a lil digging my friend ! best of luck to you ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

[intergalacticaquarium]

As Steve scanned the back of the VHS box he read about the plot of the lesbian love affair that blossoms between the two women out west a plan formed in his mind, and that plan was to finally do his duty as a Man with a Heart a Soul and The Critical Social Skills Robin Buckley Lacks: He was going to get his best friend laid. Because that's what bros do.

guess what guys I might be hilarious

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #steve harrington #I'm writing about the two of them and a girl in the video store and now its basically just an analysis #between a closeted lesbian and her straight male former douchebag bully bestie in the 80s navigating teen drama #and steve wants to be a good friend #but also the last friend he had were tommy h and carol so he's learning #he's a little confused but he's got the spirit #also I was rewatching season one and like. steve is a homophobe. full stop #thats why jonathan beats the shit out of him in s1 he says something like yeah no wonder your brother went missing #bc my dad always said he was a queer and your whole family is full of screwups like damn steve ok #i appreciate it honestly I love a character with actual flaws that gets a redemption arc and I bet he had to work pretty hard to get to be #the awesome dude he is now #im prouod of u steve #he's grown a lot

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like.... #wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners #honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going “I will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that #like. it feels a little like the “I'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshit” except it's #it's “I didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymore” #like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it. #that fuckin... “what do we have to fear but fear itself” quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me? #if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame. #we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you. #I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid. #though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it. #I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me. #and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough #allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard. #especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them #it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her. #I could say “I'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?” and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer #like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers. #being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo #do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm #like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over. #I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well. #so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state. #anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty #instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions. #I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them #though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that. #like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it #and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.

[foxgirlmoth]

The constant Feels Like I'm Going Nowhere that has persisted for years really fucks up your brain huh. I haven't:

Continued electrolysis in pursuit of bottom surgery (No healthcare for a while, and now currently I have no income)

Gotten my associates. Granted, this is something I'm (hopefully) finishing this semester. I should have been done so last semester but health issues and disabilities severely limit how much I can do a semester. I had to basically drop 2 classes last semester. I've been in college for 6 years.

Related to the above statement, watching the industry I started my degree for constantly burning more and more each year has worn me down. 2 years of experience in my field doesn't qualify for a starter position apparently, nor does it seem like applications even get viewed most of the time.

Moved away from family. It is actively harmful in this 'home'. Family constantly belittles and insults me. No money + paying off a car for several years has limited what I've been able to do money wise. One of the few times I could have saved up I was paying rent to my family (except they had me mark it as not rent, so they wouldn't get taxed for it) for pretty much all my extra income. This should be resolved this year when I move in with the loml who has been the best and I can't go into detail without bawling about my love for her and how she helps just being around.

Past jobs have also fucked me over. Becoming the only manager of a medical/retail mix at the age of 19 stressed me out to the point I had breakdowns weekly. 2 years working at a sbux wore my physical body down to the point I'm still having issues 2 years later. I did all this with misdiagnosed fibromyalgia since I was 12 (Idk how a past fucking dr thought I had a certain other 6 WEEKS MAX condition when it had already been years). I'm just so tired. I don't even know if I can get on disability, I feel like I'd be rejected. I hardly know what I could even do for work at this point. I left my last job because of harassment from all the way up to the VP. That job was just sitting around half the time and my pain was so bad I missed weeks of work regularly for a couple months. I just feel so lost half the time. Being in the workforce for 10 years has just made me a broken husk devoid of passions.

#Generally I'm honestly pretty happy right now #Stress from classes makes me want to fucking maim one of my professors because FUCK business classes. #But just. I need change. Change is scary but its needed #I've needed change for ages (move out) #The one time I did I was fucking abused in more than one way. I know that won't happen again but just. It makes my stomach turn a bit. #I need more friends I can hang out with too #but my social battery runs dry so so so fast. #I miss Maxine rn too. #But I know I can't just spew all my problems at her all the time #That would be unfair #Thats half the reason just typing this all out here. #I know I'm not unique in a lot of these problems but just. Fuck. I'm exhausted and I have been for years. #I forget what I've tagged my rants and stuff as before.

[elytrafemme]

oh also very promising life update the close friend of mine who i have a massive crush on i no longer seem to really care about? they've been frustrating to me. they said they miss me earlier but like. we're around each other almost every day. we don't talk like that much. but this is a fixable issue. told them about the concert though. and honestly i don't really give a shit about the other minor stuff we did past that. it doesn't matter. they will survive.

#nightmare.personal #this person has more friends than literally anyone i have known in my entire life #i am not even remotely one of their closest though i am in their close friends college circle obviously #and yes we have one massive plan together and i will stick with it #but like. they don't miss me. it's not even a why it's somewhat a how but mostly just factual #whatever. i don't really care. they have a lot of friends #and i'm busy. i don't know if this is like a massive fucking issue or something but i do have shit to do #whatever. i'll see them tomorrow. and we won't talk #i don't feel much of anything about it anymore #like they're the person who is always down to do something with me #but that honestly like. i don't know. i don't really care is the thing #their heart is elsewhere forever. and i'm busy

[catchmewjsn]

.

#honestly they moved me to a different office right now so im not alone in my place anymore and tbh i should not be complaining bc at least #this one gets warn fast and im not in the open first to call usually and all but idk i feel like an intruder there and miss having lots of #place and the fact noone seen my screen etc and just overall i would prefer sitting next to the guys but also 😶 idk i just dont like anyone #hearing my phone calls etc and also i fucked up at work today BADLY but noone knows yet and this sounds like i fuck up a lot but i always #called the smaller mistakes this too i guess shskd also i almsof argued with a man who's our client on the phone but for gods sake i do know #i am right and idk if he's making me feel stupid or something or is he using one of my mistakes for his own good idk idk idk it will be a #nightmare to make this work now #and also we are having some kind of meeting with food etc tomorrow in the office upstairs but also rhe atmosphere is so not it and dudes not #at work tomorrow and he should be the one in there and like idk it all works like a fucked up chaos i also almost argued with the d irector #today bc of this lmao almost on dude's behalf bc tht waa the situation that pissed me off first #and i got to walk or catch a bus home tomorrow and like my mind does work so fast and keeps overthinking lately 😕 #walking isnt the best best for me tbh #also i made plans with my friend and i do hope i open to her during the weekend bc i want to talk about everything so badly but at the same #time idk like i cant talk about personal things anymore (except here) she doesn't know what is making w suffer 😔 #i think i made a decision about monday tho not the best one but both were bad so at least here i am... #anyone i am still helpless and that's what the sentence will end at bc i don't want to say the same thing again and again and again #anywya i have to delete this bc its too much details soon