#hnnnnngggggg why can't drugs fix brain forever instead of just for a few hours

[thewanderingtrumpeteer]

unforeseen consequence of being on adhd meds:

the days are good bc I can focus and do stuff and I feel good but the nights are worse bc I'm back to being all antsy and unable to discern what my brain wants from me

#the differential is kind of jarring #it's not as bad as when I was taking Ritalin for my sleep disorder and it'd be such a violent up and down #but now I'm in a spot where it's 11pm and I've got shitall to do and I'm not tired enough to go to bed bc I'm unemployed #hnnnnngggggg why can't drugs fix brain forever instead of just for a few hours #I still haven't figured out what the fuck to do with myself when I'm alone at night #euuuugghhhhhhhhh #and I've got to wait another week before therapy 😭 #legit if I could be in session every three days rn I would be there is so much going on up there #I feel like a trapped animal all panicky and pacing around #hnnnnnggggggggggg #guess what fuckers ive got adhd #lilli liveblogs her sad existence