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mila-dans · 4 years

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Spells Out Trouble: I Wanna Know What Love Is

This is chapter one of “Spells Out Trouble.” Masterlist Here!

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count: 4770

Summary: You have been with the Winchesters for several years now going through all the literal trials and tribulations with them. What happens when Dean gets hit by a love spell and becomes head-over-heels for you? Will your pushed down emotions finally rise or will you get in over your head? Find out what happens when your best friend's hard exterior becomes mush whenever you end up in his eyeline.

Just so you know: This is my first Fanfic so sorry if there are aspects missing. “Spells Out Trouble” is a series with about ten chapters. Again, sorry if this isn’t perfect! If you have any suggestions or tips, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it! (Also, not my gif!)

“Y/N!”

You could hear your name being called as you adjusted your position on the bed. “Five more minutes,” you mumbled out as you buried your face even deeper in the pillows.

“Y/N, wake up!” Dean said, agitated. He was still mad that you won the coin toss for the bed. Thanks to you, he got a restless night on a two-seated couch. But as of right now, you were way too tired to care.

Sam was in the bathroom getting ready first like always. Spending so many years with the boys, you learned each other’s habits, quirks, and how long they needed to get ready in the morning. Sam took the longest for some reason and after him was you, who only took maybe eight minutes to get fully dressed which always seemed to impress the brothers. Dean was after you, taking only about five minutes to get ready for the day which seemed accurate based on his minimal appearance.

“We got to go,” Sam said from behind the door.

“You hear that? We’re gonna leave without you.” Dean said as you could imagine the smug smile on his face.

“You wouldn’t,” you replied as Dean’s taunting caused you to wake up. You, Dean, and Sam were set to go to the coroner's today and as good a day as any to see a dead body, you were especially excited because this hunt involved a witch. And you hate witches. You have a past and a very bad one at that. The boys know your strong feelings when it comes to the bottom dwelling hags. This remark on Dean’s part as to threaten to leave without you was just enough to make you sit up from your comfy position in bed and prepare to start your day. “I’m up.”

“Finally,” Dean said, throwing your weapons bag with full force right at your chest. It hurt but of course he did it on purpose. Dean always liked to pick on you, even more so whenever you were just waking up and you had your defenses down.

“Ow,” you said, glaring at Dean with only a sly smirk from him in return.

Sam exited the bathroom as he finished buttoning up his white dress shirt. “All yours,” he said to you. You nodded and rolled out of bed pushing off the sack of weaponry from you. You grabbed your FBI getup and headed to the bathroom where you got cleaned up and dressed.

You could hear the boys from behind the closed door talking about the latest victim, John Chase. You listen all while thinking about the case. So far, six men have been found dead with their insides turned to goo. You all had been at this for days and have yet to catch a break. Hopefully the new body would lead to something. Anything.

You finished getting dressed and like clockwork, just as you opened the door to let Dean have a turn getting dressed, he stood in the doorway just about to knock. His hand, merely inches away from your face, you gulped as you realized how close you were to receiving a hit to the face, courtesy of Dean Winchester. “That was close,” he said smiling.

“Yeah, close enough. Watch it next time, Winchester.” You shoved him as you walked out and towards your bed.

“Y/N,” Sam called out as you turned your attention towards him, “Which one?” He had held up two different ties in his hands, weighing them up and down as to signal to you which one was better. “Pick one. Blue or red?”

“Hmm... blue brings out your eyes but red makes you look sexy!” You said with clear sarcasm making Sam smile.

“Really? Cause I would’ve thought it’d be the opposite. But what do I know? You’re the sexy one,” Sam retorts, raising his eyebrows.

“True, but you do come in at a close second.”

“Wow, and here I thought Dean would’ve been second.”

“Oh no. You know you are my favorite Winchester.” You say puckering your lips, blowing him a kiss.

Yours and Sam’s relationship was very different when compared to yours and Dean’s. Both of them were your best friends but Sam was able to let his guard down with you. You always had admired his sass whether it was directed towards you or not. It was fun to play and joke with him. When it was just him and Dean, he often had to be what would be called the “mature one.” Dean on the other hand liked to mess with you too but he never let his guard down like Sam does. Sam was still the only person who saw the full version of Dean. You wished Dean would let you in but you were just happy that you got Sam to. Besides, he was way easier to talk to when it came to deep stuff. You’d always go straight to Sam without giving it a second thought if you ever needed to talk and he often did the same to you.

----------------------------

You sorted through your bag as you placed all the weapons on your person that you deemed necessary for a trip to the coroner’s office. The boys always thought you had an overabundance of weapons even when attending the simplest of places. You however thought it was better to be prepared and when riding with the Winchesters, it’s best to be ready for anything. You rummaged through your bag even deeper. “Where’s the demon blade?” You asked, still continuing your search.

“It's in my bag,” Dean said as he loaded his gun with your favorite type of bullets.

“Can I have it?” You asked him as he stuck your hand out waiting to put it in the back of your belt.

Dean tucked his gun in the back of his pants and looked at your eagerness to have the blade. “Um, no.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean no, sweetheart. You already have a whole armory on you. You don’t need the knife too.” Even though you knew Dean was probably right, you couldn’t help but want it even more now that he had felt so inclined to call you “sweetheart” which he knew bugged you. The truth of the matter is, you didn't mind him calling you it so much as you minded him calling every other woman sweetheart too. You hated thinking that he had grouped you with every other one night stand or valentine adventure.

“Give it to me,” you said, holding your hand out even further only to have him push it away.

“No.”

“Yes,” you demand.

“Dean, let her have the knife,” Sam said with his “It’s too early for this” tone.

“Fine,” Dean said, taking it out of his bag and holding the edge about to place it in your hand.

“Really?” You said surprised he had given up so easily.

“No,” he said as he showed you that smug grin of his. He took the knife away and walked over to the edge of your bed, about to place it in his weapons bag once again.

“Give it,” you order as you hop on the bed trying to grab it out of his hands.

“You're gonna hurt yourself, sweetheart,” he said with his once again taunting tone. You only tried harder to grab it as his arms went all around you causing you to get closer and closer to the edge of the bed. You reached over the edge as he dangled the blade in front of you. You almost had gotten it but instead lost your balance.

Thump.

“Told you, sweetheart.” And with that remark, Dean had left the building with the blade placed in his bag.

While on the floor, you try to convince yourself that he is useful and it would be best to not kill him yet but you believe the topic to be debatable.

Sam came over to help you off the floor. “Your brother is being a jerk again,” you said while brushing yourself off.

“Yeah, well, what else is new?” Sam holds out your bag.

You snatch the bag from his hand, “You are enjoying this because you think it’s better for him to pick on me instead of you.”

“What?” Sam said sarcastically. “That is so not true. I never find enjoyment when I let my pain in the ass older brother bully you just so he wouldn’t bully me,” he replies with a big grin on his face.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be so sure,” you glare at him.

You both grabbed your coats and shut the door behind you.

------------------------

You three had just come back from the coroner’s and discovered, thanks to some hex bags found in the victim's pockets, that your witch was very old and very powerful. You also found that she continued her hot streak of leaving attractive, middle-aged men’s innards boiled.

“Great,” Dean said as he shut Baby’s door. “What is it? Five dead now?”

Sam got in beside him, “Seven, actually.”

“Make that eight,” you said as you tossed your phone on the seat in front of you.

“What is this?” Sam asked, picking it up, examining the news story.

“It’s yet another kill where some attractive guy has his insides deep fried.”

“Great, again,” Dean said, starting the car. “Where was it at this time?”

“North Crow street,” Sam replied.

“That’s only what? Two miles from the last victim?”

“I’m pretty sure,” you said, thinking about the pattern of the attacks.

“We go back to the room, map out the attacks, get our gear, and we kill this son of a bitch.” You nodded.

“Agreed.”

-----------------------

“Okay,” Sam said as he marked the final spots on the map, “We have North Crow street on here twice. Then there’s this neighborhood right here where three of the victims were and over here is Goodman park where the remainder of the victims were killed at.” The map was spread out on a section of the wall above the sofa with a whole lot of red thread and pushpins covering whatever blank space remained.

“So that’s a two mile radius around,” Dean gets up taking the marker from Sam, “This street. Mary’s Ave.”

“Great, now that we’ve narrowed it down, to what? One-Hundred houses? What’s our next step?” You asked as you felt the weight of the deaths on your shoulders and it became even worse as you knew you weren’t the only one.

“I've got no freaking clue.” Dean let out a huff as he ran his hands through his hair in aggravation. Dean was getting more angry by the second and it didn’t help that he had been cooped up in a room with you and Sam. Sure, it was fun to mess with him but it tends to get old real quick. Dean threw up his hands, “It's not like we can just hit all the houses on the block knocking on the door and asking, ‘Hey, are you a witch? Cause if you are, we need to kill you.’”

Sam gives off a tired laugh. “We’ve been at this for a week and we have got nothing except a pile of bodies.”

You take in the sight of the tired brothers and know that it’d be best if you didn’t push them over the edge. “Hey,” you said with a calm voice, trying to get them to ease up, “We will find her and kill her. Okay?”

“How Y/N?!” Dean yells looking at you as if you were crazy to somehow have any sort of hope.

You sit down trying to make up any connection or pattern you can. You see the boys and their exhaustion and anger radiating off of them. You push yourself even harder to find something, anything. You think to yourself about all the information you have: A trail of good looking dead guys, a witch, messed up insides, and a hex bag. A hex bag which you have found nothing in the lore about. You have yet to figure out how this hex bag kills or much less hurts someone. What kind of hex bag doesn’t kill you but still leaves you dead. It leaves you dead... Leaves you dead... “Leaves you dead!” You mutter under your breath.

“What?” Asks Sam as he sees you jolt up grabbing the hex bag and his laptop, clicking away on the keyboard.

“Y/N, what are you doing with the hex bag?” Dean asks.

“Shush,” you demanded as you continued your search online.

“Don’t ‘shush’ me,” Dean replied silently.

You ignore the duo as you search deeper in the online lore. You search every ingredient in the hex bag. Instead of lethal hex bags, you search for non-lethal ones that use the same ingredients. “Okay, hear me out: What if the witch wasn’t trying to kill guys?”

“Sure, she accidentally melted the victim’s insides,” Dean says as he rolls his eyes.

“Shush!” You again told Dean trying to explain your train of thought. “We searched all over for a hex bag like this that kills someone, right?”

“Yeah,” Sam replies reluctantly.

“But what if the hex bag wasn’t meant to kill the men, but instead lure them to our witch.” You turn the screen around showing the list of ingredients for a spell that can lure anyone to the user. “See? This spell and the hex bags use the exact same ingredients.”

“I guess that’s useful information if we wanna make hex bags but how does this help us try to find the witch?” Dean again says with his annoying sarcasm.

You turn the computer around again and start typing away once more. “Well, sweetheart,” you look at Dean and show a sarcastic smile, “These ingredients are extremely rare and even more expensive.” Dean looks at you mad and you smile even bigger assuming that he doesn’t like being called “sweetheart” either. “Since the ingredients are so rare, when you search where they are found, you discover they are only found in a very small part of Ireland.”

“Okay,” Sam says, trying to follow.

“Now, since the items are expensive, the witch must be rich. And when I search the most expensive houses on Mary’s Ave, I come up with fifteen different ones which all belong to an array of people.”

“Yeah,” Sam nods in agreement, still unsure of your thought process.

“The Fifteen names of the owners are: Smith, Jackson, Thompson, Brock, Jones, Marshall, James, Evans, other Smith, Parker, MacAulay, Watts, Cooper, Jefferson, and Holiday. Tell me, which one of those names sounds Irish to you?”

“MacAulay,” Dean says as the wheels in his head visibly turn.

“Right, and when I pull up the records for the house, you will find that one Alannah MacAulay lives in that house alone. And it just so happens that she paid upfront with cash.” You look at Sam and Dean and notice their shocked expressions. “That name is indeed Irish and is one of the founding families that basically built the town that grows these ingredients. Guys, I’d say this is our witch.”

“How in the world did you get all that from a hex bag?” Sam asks with an amazed look in his eyes. You shrug your shoulders trying to hold back a smile of accomplishment. “Good job, Y/N,” Sam says, giving you a pat on the back.

“Thanks.” You look again at Dean knowing that a compliment from him was as rare as a unicorn sighting, but in this job the latter would be more likely to happen.

Dean stands up and cocks his gun, “Let’s go kill a witch.”

-------------------

You all had arrived at the house. You and Sam took the front door entrance as Dean went around back. Sam opened the door slowly as you went under his arm through the doorway scoping out the place. The door shut gently behind him. He signaled for you to go upstairs as he took the first floor. You nodded in agreement as you cautiously and quietly walked up the huge set of stairs that were before you.

The house was gigantic and magnificent. If you weren’t so worried about the status of your life, you might’ve actually enjoyed it a bit more. When you came to the top of the steps, you saw three doors ahead of you. Thinking it might be a while till one of the boys came upstairs to help you search, you went right ahead entering the rooms as stealthy as you could.

The first room didn’t have anything that looked witchy and the same went for the second. But just as you turned the knob on the third door, you heard a muffled sound. You pushed the door open finding a middle-aged man tied to a chair with a gag in his mouth. Only the man and a whole mess of stuff was in the room. You passed by what seemed to be a miniature cauldron filled with an assortment of goods or more accurately, bads, and soon made your way to the man. Holding your gun with such focus and intensity, you searched every square inch of the room just to make sure it was only you and him.

You went over to him, undoing the ropes and removing his gag. “Are you alright?” You asked quietly.

“I think,” he said with an uneasy tone. You signaled for him to get up and get a move on but he still remained glued to the seat.

“What are you doing?” You whispered worried that if you stayed any longer, you wouldn’t be alone.

“I can’t move!” He says with a terrified tone.

“What?” You look to see if you missed a rope.

“I can’t move!” You tried to pull him up or out of the chair but he wouldn’t budge.

Suddenly, you could feel another presence in the room. You slowly reached for your gun, switching your attention from the man to what you thought would be the witch.

You quickly aimed your gun as you turned around only to find the room as empty as you had seen before.

“Tell me, Girl” a voice echoed with a strong Irish accent, “Have you ever been in love?” You aimed your gun in every dark corner of the room trying to find a face to the voice. “Have you ever really been head-over-heels for someone?”

“Sorry, I can’t say that I have.” You continued the conversation stalling in hope of a rescue from one of the boys.

“Oh, It’s such a shame. Surely you must love someone or like someone at least?” She asks as if wanting you to understand.

“I don’t know about that but I appreciate your concern,” you laugh as this is the last conversation you’d expect to have.

The voice laughs back. “My, I can see that you do hold a torch for someone. You might try to hide it but I can see your feelings and they are strong.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about, lady. But how about you come out here and maybe then we can swap crushes.”

“Oh, no. I need to finish my work,” she says matter-of-factly.

“Your work? You mean killing innocent men? I have to say, not a fan.” Your gun gets pulled out from your hands. “Dammit,” you mumble. You stay moving around the room keeping your senses on guard.

“You simple minded fool. My work is work of passion and love, not death.”

“Whatever you say, Witchy.” You try to look for another sort of weapon in the room.

“I just wanted to be loved. It’s not my fault that accidents happen.”

“Well, I just want you dead and like you said, accidents happen.” In the corner of your eye, you see a dagger and you move closer to it trying not to draw attention to yourself.

The witch finally appears out from the dark corner she was hiding in. “If you wanted that to happen, maybe you shouldn’t have come alone,” she says looking you dead in the eyes like a lion would do to its prey.

The door quickly busts open causing the witch to change her attention. You rush towards the dagger and then try to find if a hex bag is on the man.

“She didn’t come alone,” Dean stands in the door and aims his gun directly at the witch but before he can pull the trigger, she flings him past the cauldron and only feet away from you and the man. She sees you and immediately, light radiates from her palms and you prepare to be on the end of a fatal blow. But suddenly, Sam comes from the door, tackling the witch to the ground.

Dean gets up and takes notice of a huge gnash on his hand and finds his blood on the rim miniature cauldron. But before he can think anything more of it, he searches for his gun. You still try to find what holds the man in the chair taking off his shoes, jacket, anything that could have a hex bag inside. Sam gets thrown to the other side of the room and you see now that the witch looks even more pissed than she originally was. “Just let me do my work!” She screams as you too get tossed to the side, leaving a wide-open space in between her and the man. “I will do my work! I will be loved!” She screams and starts to mumble Latin causing the cauldron to rise and spark. Dean sees what she is about to do and before you or Sam have a chance to react to the ready to fire spell, Dean jumps in front of the man and the surge of energy from the cauldron fires right at Dean. “No!” The Witch screams. Sam runs to his gun and shoots her right in the head causing her to fall to the floor.

With the witch killed, you and Sam rush to Dean who is surprisingly still alive from the impact of the blow. “Hey,” you ask him, examining him, “you alright, big guy?”

He mumbles in return, “Peachy.” You help him up as Sam checks on the man who is no longer glued to the chair. Sam gives you the nod that he is alright and both you and Sam walk out, each helping a man down the stairs.

-----------------------

Sam starts the car back up as you leave the hospital where you dropped the man off at. “You sure you alright, Dean?” You ask leaning over the seat taking notice of his face to try and get a read on him.

“I’m great,” he replies with his ever so sly smile.

“You sure?” Sam asks.

“Yeah. I’m good to go. In fact, I say we go get some beers because we deserve it.” You and Sam look at each other quizzically both thinking of how you’ve never encountered a witch blast that came with no side effects.

“You sure you’re good?” Sam asks again with an unsure tone.

“Dude, I’m fine. I just wanna get drunk. Can you blame me?” He looks at Sam and he shakes his head while letting out a tired laugh. “Come on, let’s go have some fun!” He looks at you and hits your shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Dean, I’m exhausted and I’m surprised that you aren’t. It’s gonna be a no from me,” Sam answers.

“Y/N, what do you say? Wanna get drunk and laid?”

“Um, you sure you’re okay Dean?” You ask again.

“Guys, what the hell is with all the questions?! I’m fine. Nothing is wrong with me. Now Y/N, you wanna join or not?” Dean looks into your eyes and you look at him still concerned.

“I guess so.”

“Perfect!”

---------------------------

You and Dean pull up to a bar called “O’Malley’s” looking dressed to kill or in this case, dressed to get laid. You always carried a little black dress with you whenever you went on hunts just in case you needed to use it to work a more flirtatious angle. And from time to time, you did. You both walked inside keeping your distance from each other just to make sure no one would think the two of you were together. You have been to this rodeo before. Every now and again when Dean was a little too eager to get out of the bunker or some crap motel room, you and him would always wind up going to the nearest bar to find a little fun. Sam would always be researching something or sleeping. Tonight, Sam was doing the latter.

You took a seat at the bar leaving an opening on both your sides and ordered a strong drink. Dean, following behind you, had immediately found someone he liked and took a seat right beside her. You could hear their laughter and imagine what cheesy pick up lines Dean would use on her this time. Even though it seemed like you couldn’t stand him at times, he's your best friend and you know him better than he does himself sometimes. Dean, Sam, and Cas were all that you had. It’s been like that for roughly five years. And all you could think about right now was just wanting to go home and lie in your bed. Well, thinking about that and the stupid witch. You glanced over at Dean again seeing him even closer to the girl than before. You ordered a refill and quickly gulped it down.

-------------------------------

The stupid Witch. You couldn’t stop thinking about her. You recall what she said, you remember all the talk about love and how she swears that you love someone too. “No way,” you say under your breath. You look over your shoulder again to view Dean and his lady for tonight. You watch them get up and leave. You laugh to yourself and feel the drink getting to you as you order what you think is your fourth. “How could I love someone?” You think.

You don’t even like anyone. I mean, you love the boys but that’s completely different. Cas, he’s like your guardian angel and Sam, come on, he is literally your brother. And Dean? Dean. Well... Dean is Dean.

You order another drink putting it down the hatch even faster than the last.

Dean is annoying. You couldn’t ever like him. He’s annoying and like totally over protective and he’s way too hot to not have an ego. He’s sexy and gorgeous and way out of your league. Sure you like him but that doesn’t mean you love him. He’s annoying and so bratty. Okay, so maybe you love him a little bit but it’s just because the witch put all these thoughts in your head. You have only been in love with him for like three years, that’s all. Not even four. You push these feelings deep down and always have, I mean, It isn’t like Dean Winchester is gonna wake up one day and be in love with you.

“Miss? Miss?!” The bartender asks you.

“What?” You snap at him.

“You’ve been talking to yourself for quite some time.” The bartender says with a polite smile.

“Nu-uh.”

“Yes, you have. I believe you're drunk and in love with whoever this Dean is.”

“Pft, no I’m not.” You try to point at the bartender but somehow manage to fall off the stool. One of the men a few seats over helped you up and guided you outside.

You stumble down the steps of the entrance, “You don’t know what love is!” You yelled at the bar. “I wanna know what love is, and I want you to show me!” Your words slowly changed from an angry fit into lyrics from a Foreigner song. You pulled out your phone as you fell to the ground and managed to call Sam.

“Hello?” Sam said tiredly.

“Do you wanna know what love is, Sam? Cause I want you to show me!”

“Are you drunk, Y/N?”

“No!” you shouted, “I don’t like how people keep assuming things about me.”

“Y/N?” Sam said, trying to get a straight answer.

“Okay, so listen, I’m drunk and Dean took Baby to probably make a baby. So I need some assistance. Hey! I’m like one of the AARP people.” You laugh, amused by your own words.

“Where are you at?”

“I’m at a parking lot outside of uh,” you look up at the blurred sign, “Old Mufasa’s.”

“That’s not a place, Y/N.” Sam sighed.

“Well then I don’t know!”

“Your phone says you're five minutes away. I’ll be there in five minutes. Just stay put.” Sam hung up.

You could hear that Sam was tired and angry which was not a good combo but you were just worried that the ant that you saw climbing a rock in the parking lot would get run over. You went over and tested your depth perception seeing if you could get the ant to a safe spot. As you nudged the little bugger on your finger, you trudged over to a patch of dirt on the side of the building. You let him go and smiled, “At least you love me, Ant.”

You moved back to where you and tripped causing you to face plant into the ground and drift off to sleep.

----------------------

The next morning was... interesting. You had woken up to find Dean even more hungover than you, spread out on Sam’s bed and Sam on the way too small couch. All you remember from the night before was a whole lot of alcohol and Sam coming to get you, picking you up from the ground, placing you in a car, and finally onto your bed. You couldn’t rack your brain for any more information or you might end up with an aneurism. You figured that the best thing you could do for your massive headache and the boys was to go and get coffee. You left a note on the door and headed out.

---------------------

In the room, Sam changed his clothes out in the open not minding because it was only him and a semi-unconscious Dean. The same Dean who was spread like a starfish with blankets and sheets wrapped around him. He tried to move but was unable either from the entanglement or extra motion that made him seem even more dizzy.

“Dean, you alright?” Sam asked as he pulled on his shirt and finished getting dressed.

“Hrmp,” Dean, sort of, replied. He moved a little on the bed seeming like even a construction crew couldn’t affect his state.

“Dude, I thought Y/N was bad last night. I think It’s safe to say you take the gold.” Sam laughed and hit Dean’s feet trying to get him to move.

“What?” Dean pulled his head away from the pillow and rubbed his eyes.

“Dean, you good? I know you wanted to celebrate but I think you went a little too hard on this one.” Sam tossed a bottle of aspirin on the bed beside Dean.

“I’m--I’m uh, good?” Dean sat up slowly trying to gain some sort of balance.

“Good. Cause we have a twelve hour drive back home to the bunker and since you refuse to let me or Y/N drive--”

“Y/N?!” Dean interrupts Sam and darts up from his bed.

“What?” Sam looks at a now wide awake Dean who is staring at him right in his face.

“Y/N,” Dean says with a very excited tone, “Is she here? Where is she? She’s okay right?” He asks as his joy starts to change to worry.

Sam looks at Dean very confused but replies, “Yeah, Y/N’s out getting coffee. You okay, Dean? You don’t look so hot.”

“I don’t?” Dean asks. He looks at his appearance almost disappointed in himself. Dean is still wearing his black-tee undershirt from last night and a pair of boxers.

“Dean, you are acting like someone gave five shots of five hour energy. What’s going on?”

“I...I...I just need to see her!.” Dean paces around the room starting to panic.

“Who, Dean?” Sam goes to Dean putting his hand on his shoulder trying to get him to calm down or at least relax for a moment.

“Y/N,” Sam looks at Dean like he’s crazy, “I’ve got to see her. I just gotta.”

“Okay, how about you sit down and we figure out what is wrong with you. Alright?”

“There’s no time, Sam!” Dean yells at Sam shoving his hand away. “I’ve got to get my suit on and I need some of your cologne and uh, flowers! I need to get flowers!”

“Dean! Something is really wrong with you. You are acting crazy and I don’t understand what your new obsession is with Y/N. So please, just take a deep breath.” Sam again tries to go over to Dean getting him to calm down.

“You’re right, Sammy. I need to calm down for Y/N. I don’t want her to be frightened or--or panicked like I am.” He unconvincingly smiles at Sam but nods along with his plan.

“Good,” Sam says slowly, “Good. Now take a deep breath.” Dean takes a huge deep breath in and holds it in his puffed out cheeks. He exhales and shakes his body trying to loosen up. “Okay, Dean, what’s going on?” Sam sits on the bed with Dean who still appears to be hopped up on some kind of energy drink.

“I don’t know. I just know that everything is so clear and like this huge burden has been lifted off of me.” Dean smiles crazily at Sam.

“Okay,” Sam tries to understand why his brother is acting like an energized maniac. “When did you feel like this, ‘burden,’ was lifted?”

“It was this morning, when I woke up and you said her name.” Dean hops up and down nodding with his whole body.

“Right, uh, Y/N’s name?” Sam tries to stop Dean from moving so much by holding down his shoulders.

“It’s the most beautiful name in the world,” Dean says while he waves his arms trying to mime the whole wide world.

“Uh-uh. Listen, Dean. I’m gonna call Cas and we are gonna figure out what’s going on.” Dean nods his head and looks at his brother with a big smile, leaving Sam’s emotions a mix between scared, creeped out, and concerned.

-------------------

You had just stood in line for almost an hour trying to get the coffees only to have them get your order wrong. You would’ve been more upset about it but you were just eager to get away from all the noise and bright lights that made your headache ten times worse.

You reached for your room key and inserted it into the door all while trying to balance the uneven amount of coffees. You opened the door and glanced over at the boys sitting on the edge of the bed. “Good, you guys are up.” Dean stood up so quickly that his movement caught your attention. You set the cups down on a nightstand and looked towards Sam and Dean. Sam stood up beside Dean with a worrisome look. And Dean looked at you with such glee and excitement that you turned around to see if there was someone behind you. “What’s going on?” You asked as the more you looked at them the more terrified you got.

“Um,” Sam mumbled and tried to find the words, “Dean’s uh...”

“What?” You ask as you become even more worried.

“Dean... he uh... something is wrong with him.” Sam kept looking at you and Dean. You all stand still, unmoving.

“Dean?” You ask and as you do so, Dean gulps as if you managed to take his breath away when calling his name. “Dean?” You ask again and this time, the biggest smile comes on Dean’s face like an excited puppy. “Dean, wh...what is it?”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

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Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag list is open!

Chapter two: Take It Easy

#dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester #lovespell #winchester #funny #fiction #supernatural fandom

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blueprint-0 · 4 years

Text

Inspired by the prank wars of Season 1, Episode 17: Hell House

Rated T - Just a lot of fluff

***

Dean remembers when Sam’s baby hair grew out enough for no-tear shampoo bubble mohawks. He was about 2 years old and Dean, only 6 years old, was in charge of every aspect of Sam’s care.

A few months later, Sam was constantly blinking his bangs out of his eyes. He would shake his head or push his hair up, only for it to fall back 5 seconds later.

John didn’t notice. He rarely noticed the little things about Sam. Or Dean.

“Dad,” Dean spoke up. “Sam’s hair is too long. Can you cut it like mine?”

John put down his newspapers and red sharpie. He looked at Dean, holding the electric shaver up for him.

“I don’t have time for this, Dean.”

“But Sammy-“

“Don’t,” John cut him off with a sharp look. “I’ll teach you how to do your own, then you can do it for your brother, ok?”

“Ok, Dad.”

Dean’s hair turned out alright with John’s guidance. He didn’t know what he’d do when they stayed at a motel without a body-length mirror attached to the door, but he supposed that was a problem for another day.

When John left to go back to his newspapers, he called for Sam to go in the bathroom with Dean.

“Gotta cut your hair, Sammy,” Dean explained.

“Why?” he asked, like he did all the time these days.

“Because it’s getting in your eyes when you play. It’s annoying, isn’t it? Now, come here.”

Sam stepped into the tub and took off his shirt, like Dean. He eyed the dirty blond hair littering the bottom of the tub apprehensively.

Dean brushed his fingers through Sam’s hair. He never realized how much softer it was than his own. Perhaps he shouldn’t shave it off the way John did. But he didn’t know any other way to do it.

He clicked on the razor. It was a noise Sam heard almost every day, but when it got closer to his face, he jerked away.

Dean groaned, feeling exasperated already.

“Scary,” Sam said quietly, looking at his feet.

Now neither of them wanted to do this. Dean put down the razor, running his fingers through Sam’s hair again.

“Hmm,” Dean hummed thoughtfully. Then he pushed his bangs to the side, giving them an adorable little swoop.

Sam blinked up with his bright green eyes. Maybe this would work. “Alright, go play Sammy.”

Throughout the day, Sam’s hair would fall in his eyes. But Dean would be there to swoop it back. Before too long, Sam got the hang of it and did it himself.

John either chose not to comment on Sam’s lack of a haircut or he didn’t notice.

- - -

The topic of Sam’s hair didn’t come up again for a few years. When Sam was 5 years old, he was about to enter Kindergarten. Dean was 9 years old and going into 4th grade.

On a rare afternoon when John wanted to take Sam out for one-on-one time, Dean went out to the arcade and played for hours.

When he returned to the motel, Sam’s hair was buzz cut like his and John’s.

“What did you do?” he gasped in shock.

John raised an eyebrow in warning.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Dean said quickly.

“He’s starting school tomorrow. Sam’s not a kid anymore, needs to be brave like a man. Now he looks like one, too. Got a problem with that, son?”

“No, Dad,” his oldest replied with a sigh.

“That’s what I thought.”

- - -

When John went to sleep that night, believing that Sam and Dean were both asleep, Dean stayed awake. He got out of bed and walked quietly to the couch.

Sam was fast asleep, half covered by his blanket, laying on his stomach.

Dean carefully stroked his short hair. He knew he couldn’t get away with this affection in front of John anymore.

Sam’s eyes fluttered open. “Dean?” he whispered.

Dean hushed him quietly, continuing to pet his head and neck. “Do you like your hair?”

Whether Sam actually liked it or not will always be a mystery. But Sam remembers the pained look in Dean’s eyes.

“No?”

Dean sighed in relief, ignoring how Sam wasn’t really telling him. He just wanted to answer the question right.

“It’ll grow out again. Just tell Dad you don’t want it short the next time he mentions it, ok?”

“Ok, Dean,” Sam said quietly, closing his eyes and leaning into his big brother’s touch.

- - -

Over the years, Sam told John he didn’t want his hair like his and Dean’s. John began to realize how “rebellious” and stubborn Sam could be.

Somewhere along the line, Dean started teasing Sam about his hair. But that was his job – Teasing his little brother. Annoying his little brother. And pranking his little brother.

That’s what lead to the inevitable escalation of their prank wars.

Sam is 14 years old and Dean is 18 years old. During their brief time at Truman High School in Indiana, Dean paused his pranks while he was distracted by a few of his female classmates.

But Sam was so bummed as they checked into their first hotel in the next state over – Dean felt compelled to help his little brother out by taking his mind off his disappointment with a prank.

Dean snuck into Sam’s duffel and emptied out his shampoo. He nicked a bottle of Nair hair removal from a convenience store and filled the shampoo bottle with it.

He waited impatiently outside the bathroom, watching the door. He felt a little guilt when he heard Sam’s panicked gasps.

Several minutes later, it seemed to click for Sam. The shower was still running when Sam yanked the curtain back. The door opened to reveal a steamed bathroom and Sam holding a towel to his crotch.

“God fucking damnit, Dean!” Sam screamed at him.

Tears of laughter blurred Dean’s vision. Wet fists aimed at his kidneys didn’t lessen Dean’s amusement.

The bathroom door slammed shut. Dean recovered and used a blanket to dab at his wet shirt and tear-stained face.

He was still chuckling when Sam emerged, fully clothed now.

Dean always talked about this prank as one of his favorites, mercilessly teasing Sam for being bald. But he only does this so Sam thinks it could happen again.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Dean’s heart breaks when he fully processes Sam without his long, silky hair. His face dropped for only a moment. He couldn’t let Sam see how he really felt, so he forced out more laughter.

- - -

Decades later, Sam and Dean find themselves in the Bunker, finally embracing their love for each other on every level. It’s beyond family. It’s soulmates and wanting and needing and things that words can’t begin to describe.

Dean strokes Sam’s hair, kissing his temple. They’re naked, satisfied, and cuddled up together. Dean’s about to fall asleep when Sam inhales to speak, pauses, then lets out the breath with a sigh.

Something as simple as breathing is enough for Dean to know exactly what his little brother is feeling.

“Just say it,” he murmurs.

“Do you like my hair?”

Dean pulls back to look into his eyes. “Of course, Sammy. I love everything about you.”

“Then why did you put Nair in my shampoo?”

Dean huffs a laugh. “That was 30 years ago.”

“26,” Sam corrected.

“Fine, 26 years ago. It was a prank. We were kids. Why are you asking this?”

“Just always wondered why you did it,” Sam looks away before pressing his forehead into Dean’s chest.

“I wanted to get under your skin, like I always do,” Dean trails his fingertips down Sam’s neck and spine before pressing into Sam’s ribs to tickle him.

“Stop, Dean!” Sam laughs, trying to wiggle away.

This makes Dean remember the last time they touched each other playfully like this. It was long before the Nair incident.

Dean lets up, his own smile fading.

“I regretted it, you know?” Dean confesses.

“You did?”

“Yeah, Sammy. Promise I’ll never prank you with Nair again,” Dean pulls him back in to get comfortable, holding Sam tight. When he resumes stroking Sam’s hair, Dean closes his eyes and takes in the moment.

How Sam’s hair feels and smells. How Sam’s muscles relax throughout his whole body under Dean’s touch. And how Dean feels warm and whole in a way he hasn’t felt since he was making those no-tear shampoo bubble mohawks.

~ AO3 post

#sam/dean #wincest #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #spn #ao3 #my fic #fluff #no smut

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nellie-elizabeth · 5 years

Text

Supernatural: Lebanon (14x13)

Hmm. So I... Hm. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings to discuss. This is probably going to turn in to quite the review. It's one of those ones where I really don't know how I'm going to fall on the scale when I grade it at the end. I'm just going to start writing, and I'll get to my thoughts through that.

Cons:

If I were to review this episode by comparing it to the milestone 200th episode, I might look on it with some disfavor. Why? Well, this was an episode centered around the nuclear Winchester family. So, the focus was on Sam, Dean, John, and Mary. And I'm cool with there being an episode focusing on that dynamic, and it's neat that Jeffrey Dean Morgan was able to come back and all that. But the 200th episode managed to focus on the themes of the show as a whole. It focused mostly on Sam and Dean, but it referenced everything from Adam to Destiel to Chuck to the Samulet and so much more. It was an episode that managed to be about the ever-changing, twisting road that is Supernatural over the seasons. This episode, by contrast, was kind of a "taking it back to basics" sort of episode, that encapsulated the original, long past, aims and themes of the show. Not a bad idea for an episode AT ALL. Just an interesting choice for such a big milestone. Barely any Cas, no Jack, no other recurring guests or even mention of them really... it felt like this episode existed in a time capsule, a little bubble that could have landed anywhere in any season and felt just as appropriate. Is that a bad thing? I don't know.

The elephant in the room here is that John Winchester was a demonstrably abusive father. Supernatural demonstrates that, but ever since his death back at the start of Season Two, the show has been inconsistent in how it's treated the memory of this character. It makes perfect sense, and is indeed good, that Sam and Dean themselves would have conflicting emotions. I don't mind that sometimes Dean brings up how awful John was, and other times seems to canonize him as some sort of a saint. That makes sense for his character. I don't mind that Sam has forgiven John for everything and has his own regrets about their tempestuous relationship. But here's where it gets a little more shaky for me. Think about it: from John Winchester's perspective in this episode, he's in 2003. He and Sam are not on speaking terms. He is continuing to emotionally and perhaps physically abuse and manipulate Dean, who idolizes him in an unhealthy way. Sam and Dean can remember their dad with rose colored glasses, but a more interesting, and more real, interpretation of the John Winchester that they should be meeting in this episode would be one that's so full of anger and grief that he lashes out at his two sons and can't accept Sam wanting to do anything outside of the hunting life.

I like that Sam and John had their big apology/reconciliation scene. I like that Sam expresses that he put their arguments aside a long time ago. But what about Dean? The problem is, John is right in the middle of things with Dean - from his perspective, he would have no reason for apologizing. And Dean would never ask for that apology, or express any anger. But Dean deserves to feel that anger. He deserves for his years of perspective to have taught him that his dad wasn't really a good father to him at all. He was, at minimum, neglectful, and Dean doesn't get to confront that in any meaningful way in this episode.

A couple of smaller notes: as I said above, I understand that this episode had a rather narrow focus on the Winchesters, but it did include a few other characters - namely, Cas and Zachariah. If you were going to do the whole timeline being rewritten thing, cool. If you were going to throw in a few cameos, cool. But this is the 300th episode, people! Is Zachariah really the best pull you have? No Bobby? No Naomi? No Charlie? Gabriel? Jody? Nothing? Time is being rewritten! There are so many creative cameos you could have done here, and it could have been brief, and not taken away from the focus on John. Zach just felt like a very odd choice for such a brief reappearance. Also, does killing him mess up the timeline even more? Time travel makes my head hurt.

I liked the random teens at the beginning of the episode, but it felt odd to cram in this story at the start of the episode, and then toss it aside for much of the run-time. There was just a bit too much focus on the kids to discount it as window dressing, and not enough focus to really bring them in to the limelight as characters in their own right.

Pros:

If I try to tear myself away from reviewing this as a milestone episode, I think I look at it with much more favor. John Winchester has long been a looming presence on this show, and I think the opportunity to focus on him, and more specifically, on his sons' memories and relationships with him, is a great concept for an episode. I personally think John sucks, and I might have wished for him to be treated a bit less kindly by the narrative in this instance. But I'm on Sam and Dean's side, always. I want what's best for them, and a happy family is what they want and totally deserve. I liked seeing that.

For me, I would forgive a hell of a lot of crap for just the moment with Sam and Dean washing up dishes after dinner. That scene for me was the one moment that most made this episode feel like the 300th. It's just Sam and Dean alone, talking about what a shame it is that they'll send John back and he won't remember anything, thus making the whole trip pointless. But Dean points out that as hard as their lives have been, he doesn't want to change anything because then, what would that make them? Dean says he's good with who he is, and with who Sam is too. That is freakin' HUGE. That is a capstone moment for Dean Winchester's character development, and it made me instantly misty-eyed.

Let's do a little check-in with the Cas corner here. Yeah, I might be slightly bummed he wasn't in more of the episode, but there are several things to discuss even so. First of all, Misha killed it with his performance as the back-to-Angel-basics Castiel that we saw. We see the wings, he calls himself an Angel of the Lord, and he kicks the crap out of Sam and Dean. First of all, I'm sure Misha took great satisfaction in that. Second of all, I love the way that Cas is used as a shorthand for everything that's wrong with this changing timeline. Before this moment, Dean was happy to accept the changing universe as recompense for having John back. After this encounter, Sam and Dean both know that things have gone too far. A world where Cas doesn't know them, and tries to kill them, is unacceptable. I also like that Sam and Zachariah paired off for the fight, leaving us with the delicious angst of Dean trying to stop Cas from killing him. (Again. Sheesh). I love that bewildered, heartbroken look on Dean's face when he realizes Cas doesn't know him. And I also love that as the episode ends, the real Cas, our Cas, returns to the bunker, solidifying his place among the core cast of the show, and among the family.

Another thing that I was struggling with a bit in this episode is that the focus was so much on the family, but the family seemed only to include the Winchester four. "Family don't end in blood" is one of the more powerful lines and sentiments from this show's long history. But as the hour progressed, I realized that this core message wasn't being disregarded. Sam and Dean fill John in on everything that he's missed, and they're clear to emphasize that they live in a bunker with an angel and with Lucifer's son. They don't have time to go in to all of the details, but they're sure to fill John in on the state of their family - Sam, Dean, Mary, Cas, Jack. That's family to them now. This important point is re-emphasized again as John has a moment with Dean, lamenting that Dean never got out of the life, and instead was pulled in by John's mission. He says he thought Dean would have a family of his own one day, and Dean instantly responds: "I have a family." This moment is strengthened by his later saying to Sam that he's good with who he is. Yes, he never settled down with a single romantic partner and had babies of his own, but he is not at all dissatisfied or unfulfilled when it comes to a strong family system. It's not just the Winchesters vs. the rest of the world anymore, and that's important to point out.

I know that I earlier said that I had some qualms about the opening sequence with the teens, but I actually really liked the stuff with the pawn shop, the magic items, and Sam and Dean on a regular hunt. It felt a little imbalanced within the pacing of the episode, but I also think it's important to note another key aspect of this story: an homage to the humble beginnings of Supernatural. Sam and Dean are on a simple hunt. They have to burn an item to defeat a ghost. There's a hilarious gag about the ghost of John Wayne Gacy, given Sam's hatred of clowns and fascination with serial killers. It's all very classic Supernatural. It's a sequence that could fit into the show in any season at all. It's also a chance for us to spend some time with Sam and Dean alone, doing what they do best. That was once the only heart of this show that mattered, and it's still one of the most important pieces to the puzzle. We also get John fighting Sam and Dean in the dark, in a nice echo of Sam and Dean's fight in the pilot. All of this serves to show that this 300th episode is about honoring the show's origins, instead of trying to encompass the whole thing. I have conflicting feelings about that, as shown above, but mostly I think it's done really well.

On a smaller note, I love the introduction of the concept that Sam and Dean go about town in Lebanon as the Campbell brothers, and that they've become something of a local legend. That was such a cool idea. I never really thought about their day-to-day reality, but it's cool to think about them being an urban legend, because it kind of brings the show around full circle. From hunting urban legends to becoming one! And the kids describing Cas and Jack was hilarious. Another moment to emphasize that Team Free Will includes all four of the boys.

And now to the performances. Because... holy hell. This episode starts to fall apart a bit if you scrutinize the plot too closely. John Winchester, as I mentioned, is not behaving very John Winchester-y. But this is about Sam and Dean getting closure, and let me tell ya... all four of these actors (Padalecki, Ackles, Morgan, and Smith) were giving it their all, and I felt every one of those heartbreaking, heartwarming moments. I'm going to rapid-fire some of the best things I noticed:

- The way John's voice cracked on the word "Mary" when he heard her voice.

- John and Mary holding hands, and John saying "my girl" to her... instant tears.

- The look on Sam's face when John said "I'm proud of you."

- The hug between John and his two sons, complete with all three of them crying.

- Dean saying "I love you too." Just like... wow. Dude has been throwing the love word around a lot and I am all about it.

- Dean flinching when Sam crushed the pearl.

- Sam saying that he thinks about John a lot and doesn't think about their fights, but thinks instead about not getting to say goodbye.

- Both Sam and John saying "I'm sorry."

- All of the overly sappy yet beautiful shots during the family dinner, of the family laughing, and sharing stories, and eating Winchester Surprise. The fact that this is the ONLY family dinner that they've ever had that way is just heartbreaking. But I'm so happy they got to have it.

Well, what did I tell you? This review is long. I knew it would be. 300 episodes, you guys. Holy crap. And we've got a Season Fifteen coming around the bend. I was really pleased with Jeffrey Dean Morgan's performance, and I thought Jared and Jensen killed it with the emotional material as usual. Are my thoughts conflicted? Yes. But is this one of those episodes that I'll probably go back and watch again? Also yes. It stands out, and it made me emotional. That's kind of all I can ask for.

8.5/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn 14x13 #spn 300th #spn

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hannah-deserved-better · 5 years

Text

SPN questionaire

I wasn’t tagged by anyone

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

October 2016. My husband had been trying to get me to watch it for awhile but I don’t watch a lot of TV and am resistant to new shows but.... I got hooked quick!

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

Castiel

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

Umm... I can’t pick.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs.

I tad @theangelwhounderstood, @spooky-racoons, @heavensmostterrifyingweapon @cascasrevolution @ourpieceoutoftime you don’t have to care though, its just a thing cuz I was bored. And note that this is my main MUN account so if you only follow my sideblog muses @castherebel and @hannahhostofheaven or any others then you might not know who I am.

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

Hannah!!!!

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

Hannah!!! I thought she was a very complex character with a lot of strengths and flaws, not to mention freaking attractive!

7. John or Mary?

I don’t know

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Sam: He was my favorite until Cas arrived. I have a thing for guys with long hair (I sort of married one) and I like the sensitive ones.

Dean: Dean and I share a taste in music. Love me some classic rock.

Cas: At first I wasn’t sure about him but I love him now!

Jack: I wasn’t sure whether he was going to be evil or not but now I think he is the cutest!

9. What’s your favorite season?

Season 10 cuz Hannah.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

I don’t have a least favorite but I do tend to move through the first three seasons quickly cuz I love when the show starts getting into the mythology stuff.

11. Opinions on Destiel?

Not my ship but that’s no reason to hate.

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

I have never heard that term in my life.

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

8-14

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

Hmm well I tend to use Lucifer a lot in my fics so I guess Lucifer. But I also use Raphael and Naomi a lot so I guess I like playing around with angel villains.

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

It’s okay.

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

I mean I tend to be most sympathetic towards Cas cuz I don’t feel like his past traumas have really been addressed.

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

The first three episodes of season 10.

18. Do you like case episodes?

I like case episodes, there are a lot of awesome ones, but I really, really love the episodes that involve mythology, especially the ones about the angels.

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

In TFW, Castiel. But in all of SPN, Hannah. See I have always related to the angels because that ‘lost, don’t quite get things’ aspect is what it can be like to have autism sometimes. Emotions can be hard to deal with and you don’t understand subtle meanings a lot. So I related to Hannah on a personal level as she struggled to understand these new feelings while still trying to maintain the sense of order and law that she believed in as an angel. These internal conflicts within her were really powerful to me, and same thing for Castiel. Although Castiel reminds me more of my husband. So in other words... I am Hannah and I married Castiel.

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

My husband and I have always been into theology. We both took world religion classes and its a subject we talk about at length a lot. He and I both come from different religious backgrounds and believe different things but he knows a lot about Judeo-Christian mystics and I have a background in history so its something we’ve both enjoyed talking about. Of course as a pagan I have to say that Supernatural doesn’t quite get paganism quite right but I love the show too much to care.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

Bring back Hannah!! I don’t want anyone to die, really...

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cupidsbower · 6 years

Text

It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation

Supernatural 13x11 “Breakdown,” and 13x12 “Various and Sundry Villains.”

I can tell I’m up to eps that are after the mid-season finale now, because the Destiel game is picking up.

Breakdown

This is another ep setting up the Wayward Sisters ‘verse, focusing on Donna, Doug, and the widening circle of crimes that mix the human and supernatural.

The Butterfly Killer seems at first to be a human serial killer in a human crime case, until we get the big reveal of the human Butterfly Killer actually servicing supernatural clients, using the all too human medium of the internet. This is the beginning of an overt theme that questions where supernatural hunts end and human cases begin, which goes on to be explored in later eps. The show has been fairly careful to tread the line on this until now, but like so many aspects this season it, this case explores dualities and messes up all the lines between them. We see this same theme with Jack being both human and angel, Mordor and ParadiseEarth, the two Kaias and so on.

The Butterfly Killer’s music also plays with this as there are three love songs linked to torture and suspense. We get Look In My Eyes by The Chantels with the first torture scene, Too Good to Be True by Lon Rogers & The Soul Benders when Wendy cries for help, and Big Flame (Is Gonna Break Me Heart In Two) by Doris Wilson as the false lead of the radio in an empty room.

Are these upbeat happy moments, as the killer and clients think, or are they horrifying, as the victim and real audience think? Perspective, baby, it’s all about perspective, and also that pesky morality.

We get another installment of false/corrupt fathers this ep too -- Agent Clegg is not Dean’s father, despite calling him “son.” He’s not even that much older than Dean, so this is clearly a power play, with Clegg using it to claim a more senior role in the patriarchy.

AGENT CLEGG: Excuse me! Hey! What are you doing? DEAN: Oh, I um… AGENT CLEGG: I asked you a question, son. DEAN: First off, I’m not your son. Second- DOUG: Whoa, whoa, easy. Agent Clegg, this is Agent Savage, FBI. (x)

As always, John is still present in the text, when Dean follows his advice rather than Clegg’s. The use of John’s old-school VB radio works, where Clegg’s misdirection does not. This is interesting, as Dean has mostly been criticised via these kinds of parallels in recent seasons, but this time, John comes off well. He taught Dean and Sam some valuable skills, right alongside the toxic masculinity and other issues he brought to their family.

But just in case we’re being lulled into thinking toxic masculinty maybe isn’t that bad after all, we get the sexist truckers chiming that they’ll make Alice “family”. Ugh.

More interestingly, Sam and Donna are both depressed about the missing family members at the start of the ep, a niece in one case, and because of the obvious paralell, this ep pretty much confirms for me that Sam’s role towards Jack is more uncle (or perhaps older brother) than father.

SAM: You see? Told you. This is stupid. DEAN: It’ll work. Dad used it all the time. SAM: This isn’t even our kind of case. And you know, with the real Feds here, we should back down. DEAN: You’re joking, right? SAM: We’re still fugitives. DEAN: They think we’re dead. SAM: Do you really wanna get on the FBI’s radar again? DEAN: Okay, so what do you wanna do? Hmm? You wanna call up Donna and say “Hey, sorry about your niece. These kinds of things happen. Later.” And head back to the bunker so you can mope some more? SAM: I’m not moping. DEAN: You got up at 10:00 am this morning. 10:00 am. You, Mr. Rise and Freakin’ Shine. And then you turned down pancakes. SAM: I wasn’t hungry. DEAN: They’re pancakes. Look, I know you’re in a dark place right now, okay? I mean, we lost Jack. Mom is… I think about ‘em too. All the time. But you can’t let it eat you up. Now look, when I was-when I was broken up, you were there for me. Well, I’m here for you now. And I’m telling you, the only way out of this is through. Now when everything goes to hell, what do we do? We put our heads down and we do the work. We’ll find Jack. We’ll save Mom, we will. But right now, Donna needs our help. Okay?

DEAN: I mean, we save people, Sam. SAM: Yeah, we also get people killed, Dean. Kaia, for instance. She helped us and she died for it. DEAN: Hey, look, I know you’re in some sort of a- SAM: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don’t - don’t… You keep saying I’m in a dark place, but I’m not, Dean. Everything I’m saying is the truth. It’s our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn’t have to be. I tried to pretend we could have Mom back and Cas and - and help Jack. But we can’t. This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody. It ends bad.

Isn’t it interesting the way that Dean and Sam are emotionally flip-flopping? Dean was depressed when Castiel was gone. Sam is depressed without Mary or Jack. That toxic co-dependency is shattered all the way through now, with only inertia keeping it in place. They go through the motions of this speech, which is becoming more threadbare with each iteration. When are they allowed to just stop, feel their feelings, and grieve? When are they allowed to be Hunters and people? When do they get to let the negative aspects of John’s legacy go, and just keep the good bits?

The text actually talks about this via metaphor. Sam’s heart goes for $500,000, turning it into a commodity. No room for feelings there, right? It’s just a lump of meat, not the seat of emotions. But the text makes it pretty clear that this is a horific way to value people -- for the value of their physical labour alone, with no place for the qualities that make them human.

CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY: Add a zero. Actually, add two. See, those freaks that you and your brother chase, those are just the ones that can’t pass. Either because they’re too mean or they’re too stupid, or both. But most monsters… hell, they could be your next-door neighbor. They work a regular job, mow the lawns on a Saturday. And they need to eat, which is where I come in. SAM: So you sell them people. CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY: I sell them people other people won’t miss. And because I do that, I save lives. If my customers didn’t have me… then all those hungry, hungry hippos would be out there huntin’ and killin’. And you couldn’t stop ‘em. No one could. You should be thanking me. SAM: Huh. Yeah. Alright. Go to Hell. CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY: I’ll see you there. Now I know you’ve been stalling because you think Dean’s gonna show up, but… Sorry, kid. It’s showtime. Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you something truly special. A new auction. Introducing… Mr. Sam Winchester!

We also get the latest iteration of “people have heard of the Winchesters” here, but yet again they aren’t taken seriously enough. I wonder where that’s going? I’m starting to think the season will end with the invasion from Mordor, because the show is doing a lot of set up to expand the awareness of monsters and Hunting. Obviously this is at least in part due to Wayward Sisters, but it seems to be foreshadowing the Apocalypse redux as well. Is the supernatural going to go public? Will the FBI get involved? The show has been reminding us of the fact Dean and Sam faked their deaths to get away from the FBI. I hope we do get more on this. I think it would be interesting to see the FBI actually figuring out what the Winchesters are, after all this lead up of everyone else getting it so wrong.

Finally, Donna shines in this ep. Her great interrogation is fantastically done, and she kicks ass in the field. I really can’t wait to see what she brings to Wayward Sisters.

Doug is such a sweetheart, and now he knows about the supernatural, in the most horrific way possible. I really, really hope we get a bunch more of him working through his issues in WS.

DONNA: Doug. I’m sorry I lied to you… but I can’t give this up. DOUG: I know. Donna, you kill monsters. You’re a damn hero. But that’s… it’s not me. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry. DONNA: Doug, wait! SAM: Let him go. Donna, when you choose this life, anyone who gets too close, eventually they get hurt. Or worse. So let him go. He’ll be safer that way.

That endless refrain from Sam, but you know, that is no way to live.

Various and Sundry Villains

Wowser, what a Destiel-heavy episode! Yockey really knows how to work it.

I want to start by talking about the books that Sam and Dean are consulting. Because I’m a giant nerd. I always find the book titles in Supernatural interesting, and these are particuarly so, because as far as I can tell they are mostly made up.

“Principia Phantasmagoria” doesn’t seem to be a real book, but rather a mash-up of several other very well known books.

The most likely progenitor is the Principia Discordia - or - How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her. The introduction to this tome claims, “If organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe. Most disorganized of all religions, Discordianism alone understands that organization is the work of the Devil. Holy Chaos is the Natural Condition of Reality, contrary to popular belief” (x).

I really hope this is the text Yockey is slyly referring to, but he could just be putting together words that create a strong impression of what the book would be about.

Principia is Latin for a fundamental principle, and two foundational texts use it in their titles. Descarte wrote a Principia, which was one of the inspirations for Newton’s 1687, Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica, which explains, “the principles of time, force, and motion that have guided the development of modern physical science” (x).

Phantasmagoria is a display of dream-like images or seances, “a form of horror theatre” (x).

Put them together, and the Principia Phatasmagoria would be the seminal text on dream-walking. I wonder who wrote it in the Supernatural ‘verse?

"Archive of Unnatural Occurrences" also doesn’t exist, but in Googling that title, I found a) a Supernatural fanfiction about two sisters; and b) a this absolutely fascinating treatise on Archives: “Archive Fever: A Freudian Impression” by Derrida and Prenowitz (which pretty much tells you all you need to know, right there). They argue that creating an archive is like the Word of God, because it’s both a Commencement and a Commandment -- it doesn’t just begin to categorise a collection of material or ideas, it also changes the way a society thinks about those materials or ideas because of the way they are categorised (x).

The Book of Day and Night is real - huzzah! It’s an Egyptian text designed to help the dead king find their way in the afterlife, and is usually part of the decoration tombs. Here’s a description: “Other funerary compositions include the “Book of Day” and the “Book of Night,” which depict Nut, the sky-goddess, spread out across the heavens, as well as the “Book of the Heavenly Cow,” in which Nut is transformed into a cow on whom Re ascends to the firmament. Astronomical figures decorate the ceilings of several burial chambers” (x).

So what I take from this is that a) there are going to be a lot of “Nut” jokes coming up, b) that a lot more people are going to come back from the dead this season, and c) if Sam and Dean create a map of the paths between worlds, an Archive of them if you will, they will have the power of Gods.

Heady stuff!

Of course we don’t start off on such a high note.

SAM: I’m just saying, Dean, Jack was our way over there, obviously, so with him gone… DEAN: Okay, well, Jack’s been gone before. We found him once. We can find him again. SAM: No, no, he didn’t run away. He is literally in an alternate reality. DEAN: Okay, so we’ll just come up with a plan B, okay? You said it yourself. We just keep our heads down and we’ll do the work. SAM: You said that. DEAN: And I was right. Yeah. So you read, do your Sam thing, I’m gonna go for a beer run. SAM: Yeah. DEAN: We should probably loop Cas in at some point. SAM: We’ll fill him in when he calls. He checks in every day. DEAN: Yeah, with a bunch of questions and no leads. [We see Castiel sitting in a dark prison cell in hell, illuminated by a single unseen overhead light] SAM: I’m sure he is doing the best he can. Just go get beer or… [waves Dean away] (x)

Dean wants to go on a beer run, and thinks immediately of Cas. A nice callback to his muffed love declaration at the end of the Amara arc. We also get another go around of the “we just do what we do” mantra that Dean keeps spouting this season. Sam seems to think it’s wearing a bit thin.

And then we cut to Lucifer and Cas, and get a dick joke about the size of Lucifer’s “power”. Hahaha. Yeah, I can see where this is going already.

Next up is the latest incarnation of the theme of “people have heard of the Winchesters” and in this case, have heard of the car too. We find out later it’s via Rowena who told Jamie and Jennie about them, and I would love to know what she actually said. Jamie and Jennie are awful cocky given the givens, so methinks Rowena downplayed how dangerous the Winchesters can be.

So Jamie and Jennie blithely hexbag Dean into love, so that he’ll steal the Grimoire for them. Luckily we’ve already had that impotence joke, so the foreshadowing says this will come to naught.

And then we get this...

SAM: Hey, uh… I think you might be right. I think maybe it’s time we go ahead and call Cas, because, I mean, if…if… [Dean continues to whistle while doing a little spin as he enters the library. He drops the 6-pack and his keys on the table] SAM: You all right? DEAN: Am I all right? I’m in love. SAM: You...Oh, are you? DEAN: I mean, I am, like, full-on twitterpated here. Seriously, I can’t wait for you to meet her, either. She - I mean, she’s… She’s sweet and she’s beautiful and she’s just kinda sorta perfect. Anyway, I’m thinking of asking her to move in with me here…if that’s cool ‘cause this is big time. [Dean opens a drawer and removes the Black Grimoire and unwraps it] DEAN: Ahh. SAM: Uh, Dean, w-what are you doing with the Black Grimoire? DEAN: It’s a gift. For Jamie. SAM: For…Jamie? DEAN: My soul mate. [winking]

All the mentions of Castiel that lead up to Dean’s announcement are wrapped around this scene like a... condom? Sorry, I can’t think of a better wrapping metaphor. There was the reminder of Dean’s muffed love confession on the last beer run, and then this mention of Cas by Sam which Dean ignores, and instead Dean announces he’s in love, and calls her his soul mate -- he might as well have added they have a profound bond. Like, if Dean and Cas were a het will-they-won’t-they pairing, it could not be any clearer that the only person Dean could legitimately be declaring as his Love here is Castiel. It’s not even subtext, it’s main text at this point, given the way Castiel has been used to frame this moment... but it’s main text that refuses to state it overtly so that homophobes can continue to live in comfortable in denial.

Okay, I have to rant a bit here and let off steam about this. I’m here for the Destiel. I love this love story. But come on. COME ON. It’s cowardly storytelling to write this kind of queering of the text -- to actually dangle plot threads off it, it’s that central -- and refuse to admit it. I know a lot of the Supernatural creatives now pretty much do say that’s what happening -- the whole “eye fucking” stuff in the scripts, for instance -- but it’s mostly framed as “jokes” that aren’t actually jokes, and I’m tired of this. Get it together, show. This is old.

ANYWAY, Dean is in lurrrrve, but OH NOES, it’s some random girl who has obviously hexed him. It’s not even a question in Sam’s mind or our minds. The wrong name came out of his mouth, and he’s too damn happy about it, so we all know Something Is Very Wrong With Dean.

Sam comes to the rescue of course, and we get the slapstick moment of Dean and Sam fighting each other as the witches get away, with Sam’s limbs all over the shop, and Dean making goofy faces. I love irony like this -- it’s not a happy moment in the plot, but it’s a funny moment thanks to the performances. As I mentioned in my last meta, this is why the Winchesters aren’t taken seriously when monsters gossip about them. Moments just like this.

Rowena!!!!!!

I love her so much. She can resurrect as many times as she likes and I’ll be happy.

Intriguing that they have her and Sam bonding over their fear of Lucifer. They’ve really done a fabulous job of making Rowena a complex and interesting villain. I think she’s pretty much my all-time fave out of the rogues gallery.

DEAN: Yeah, the Devil’s gone. ROWENA: Oh, don’t be stupid. He’s never gone! SAM: Okay, listen, I know what Lucifer is cap– ROWENA: Oh, can we not? It’s like reminiscing about an abusive relationship. Why do that? DEAN: Let’s get back to the book. What kind of hurt can these chicks do with it? ROWENA: Oh, I’m sure they have big plans. SAM: Sounds like you know ‘em. ROWENA: Just remember being a young, overly ambitious, wee witch. And I have to give them some credit. Outfoxed you, didn’t they? [chuckling to Dean] Tell me, did they get to fifth base? DEAN: There’s no such thing as fifth base. ROWENA: Oh, you poor, sheltered boy.

Fifth base, in case you were wondering is anal sex (x). There’s a few different ways to read Dean’s response to Rowena’s question. He could be dissembling because he’s deep deep deep in the closet, but to me he comes off as genuinely puzzled. Given that, my reading is that Dean has never had anal sex with another dude. Sure it’s possible he’s done so without having heard this phrase before, and even if he’s never done that particular act, it still leaves a lot of room for sexy things he could have done with dudes. However, the case I make is that Dean picks up slang like other people learn languages, and if he hasn’t heard this expression before, his exposure to gay culture has to be pretty limited. He might have tried a few things, but not so much that he’s learned the lingo. In short: he’s inexperienced at best, and quite possibly still hymenated in this respect.

That noise you hear? Is a thousand fan theories crumbling to dust. Fare ye well, amigos, it’s been a blast.

But! (Butt. hahaha)

On the plus side, we can now revisit the whole issue of Dean’s first time with a dude, and I have to thank canon for giving us that golden opportunity.

We get another dick joke when Sam tells us, “Dean has a tape of Led Zeppelin’s “Moby Dick” with an 8-minute drum solo.” You’ve probably noticed that I tend to look at the lyrics of songs used or mentioned on the show, but in this case it’s instrumental so my meta instincts are thwarted.

Except for the title of the track. Moby. Dick. The great white Dick that got away. Hahaha. Ironic, as it’s the ep that Castiel finally gets free. And now I will forever assume that Jimmy Novak was well endowed. ;)

There are only two more things I want to mention in this ep. The first is the fatherhood theme. It’s mainly present in the conversation between Castiel and Lucifer.

LUCIFER: There’s no “if” here in this equation, okay? Let me - let me just - let me just tell you something about my dick brother, about every version of my dick brother, okay? When he decides to do something, he does it. Doesn’t matter what the cost or who has to die. It’s gonna happen, ‘cause that’s just the way he rolls. CASTIEL: If you’re right, how much time do we have? LUCIFER: How much time? Oh. I guess that depends on how much time he spends torturing Mary Winchester. He liked her, right? Oh, Cas, you should have seen it. I mean, the things he did to her. In all my time in hell, I’ve never seen anything that horrible. Just…Oh! CASTIEL: Stop. I don’t want to hear any more of your lies. LUCIFER: Oh, this from the angel who almost has me beat in that department, and that’s saying a lot, pal. CASTIEL: Well, you always say a lot. LUCIFER: Okay, let’s face it, Cassandra, the truths I say hurts ‘cause the’re hard to swallow, so people call them lies. Go figure. CASTIEL: You want truth? How ‘bout I tell you a few truths about your son? LUCIFER: Did you just have an angel stroke? CASTIEL: Did you know that he loves movies? Fantasy movies, movies with heroes who crush villains. LUCIFER: [scoffs] Well, that’s - that’s - that’s nurture. That’s not nature. CASTIEL: And he’s thoughtful. He’s emotional. Remarkably intuitive. You - you know, he, uh, he resurrected me just out of instinct. Isn’t that a beautiful gesture? LUCIFER: [pacing angrily in his cell] Yeah, that’s, uh, that’s beautiful. CASTIEL: Jack would rather kill you than hug you. Seems relevant. Did you know he doesn’t - he doesn’t even really look like you? And he reminds me so much of his mother. LUCIFER: [whispers] Wow.

This particular mention of dicks doesn’t please me, given the subtext here that all the dicks are pointed at Dean. I don’t want Dean to become an angel condom for Michael. But I may be getting it at some point anyway. :(

That aside, I adore how effectively Cas needles Lucifer here. Cas really has learned from the best, and he’s such an asshole. It’s interesting, though, that Lucifer brings up nature vs nurture. I wonder which he considers the cause of his Fall?

Finally, the episode ends with Dean chiding Sam for being in a dark place -- role reversal from the start of the season when Sam was chiding Dean the same way.

DEAN: Look, what happened to Rowena was messed up, okay? But you just let the deadliest witch in the world walk away with a page from this book. SAM: Yeah, and if Rowena breaks bad, I will hunt her down myself and put a bullet in her. I will Dean. But if she’s right, and if she does see Lucifer again, then… I hope she makes him suffer. DEAN: You gotta get out of this dark place. You know, whatever’s going on in your head… SAM: Dean. DEAN: What? SAM: [inhales deeply] You know what? Honestly? DEAN: Yeah, how ‘bout honestly. SAM: I know what Rowena is dealing with. And she’s not the only one who… [inhales deeply] feels helpless. DEAN: What do you mean? SAM: I mean, I had a plan, you know. I, uh… Help Jack, bring Mom back. It wasn’t much, but it was something. It - it kept me from spinning off the rails. And now… Jack is gone, Mom is still in hell, basically, and I-I-I- just… DEAN: We’ll figure it out. SAM: [defeated and angry] Dean, we don’t have a plan. We don’t know what to do. So - so how? DEAN: [confidently] I don’t know. But we will, you and me. [takes a drink of beer] SAM: Yeah. Night. [exits kitchen]

Sam articulates exactly why he’s going off the rails -- because Jack and Mom are missing. And that’s freaking huge. Because if Dean was off balance because Cas was missing, and Sam is off balance because Jack and Mom are missing, that means they are not each other’s sole emotional supports any more.

In other words, the toxic codependency really is on it’s very last legs, the old scripts aren’t working any more, and it’s time to start writing some new ones.

I’ve already seen the next two eps, and if Various and Sundry Villains was a strong Destiel episode, it has nothing on Good Intentions. That is a game changer.

Previously:

I never opened myself this way (13x01 and 13x02)

You say you’ve only got one life to live (13x03, 13x04, 13x05)

Let me tell you people that I found a new way (13x06, 13x07, 13x08)

Alive and burning brighter (13x09, 13x10)

#supernatural #meta #spn meta #season 13 #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #sam winchester #lucifer #rowena

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