#hippy crack

[dichotomoustessellations]

Found a stick of deodorant in a bag of empty nitrous cartridges and I can confidently say I’m the first human to ever put those two things in a bag together

#Deodorant #hippie #hippies #hippy joke #Hippy #nitrous #hippy crack #Srug #Drug #Drug jokes #Lol #lmfao #hehe #twhe #text #tehe #.txt #txt

[amber-laughs]

so lyanna brings home from college this platinum blonde twink who got her name tattooed on his arm after the second date but they’re polite about it (not brandon!) like ned thinks maybe it’s just his older brother bias and is trying to see him from lya’s perspective “hmm this guys handsome i guess, he’s older, he’s rich, passionate. sure we’ll give it a go i mean she’s young they’ll break up soon right? right lyanna? RIGHT??” brandon’s disgusted. rhaegar actually went to an adjacent high school that always beat his school’s football team and brandon always thought his instagram poetry was ass. benjen, lyanna’s little pet dog basically, thinks rhaegar’s great and “you guys if you’re gonna date lyanna you should love her enough to get her named tattooed on you” until she brings benjen to one of rhaegar’s open mics and he has to sit there while they make out and listen to 3 songs about sex with his sister. she’s pregnant 3 weeks later btw

#brandon and rhaegar are not allowed to sit next to each other at thanksgiving #ned starts every conversation with ‘how’s jon?’ but come on now… ned knows how jon is. he knows better than rhaegar #lyarra’s all hippie dippie and thinks lyanna knows what she’s doing rickard’s a military man who’s gonna hate whoever lyanna brings home #benjen does NOT babysit. he’s bad at it. #asoiaf crack #valyrianscrolls #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #rhaegar x lyanna #asoiaf #jon snow #ned stark #brandon stark #benjen stark #modern asoiaf #nothing more humiliating than tagging posts #it’s really just begging people to laugh at your jokes

[waywardseraph]

Hippie Cas was peak character design.

#hippie #future Castiel #supernatural fandom #spnfamily #dean winchester #supernatural #dean x castiel #spnfandom #destiel #castiel #supernatural family #deancas #spnfamliy #spnedit #spn fanfic #spn crack #spn rewatch #spn fanart #spn #spn aesthetic #spn liveblog #spn screencaps #spncreatorsdaily #supernatural memes #supernatural crack #castiel novak #supernatural season 5 #supernatural season 5 episode 4 #hippie castiel

[odessastone]

This Venture made it VERY clear they wanted to drill me in the ass

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #lifeweaver #venture #cracked me up tbh like hello Mx. Cameron ?? can u control yourself for a moment please #Venture will see a long haired hippie with girlboy swag and ask ‘is anyone gonna dig that’ #and not wait for an answer

[goatmilksoda]

Events with moms side of the family: "did you hear about how Jeanette's mom's college roommate's sister got engaged to a doctor?"

Events with dads side of the family: "yeah, I am psychically channeling the twin that Ben ate in utero.... anyway, do you want to hear the story of how I was conceived?"

#goat talk #i love my dads family they are so fucking funny #they drop absolute bombs of lore every time i see them it cracks me up #every time on the drive home i gotta be like “Aunt Joan was joking about that... right???' and he's always like 'no she was serious!' #and elaborates on the situation and its like HUH #WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU OWNED A HIPPIE COMMUNE #you know?? #anyway its my moms side of the family that are the blackout drunk alcoholics btw

[thevalleyisjolly]

I love all the different Gil-Galad theories, and would like to submit another for consideration: All of them are true at once because “Gil-Galad” is actually a group project consisting of a bunch of 4th/5th generation Finwëans all working together to play professional “dodge the Noldorin kingship.”

So sometime during the War of Wrath, Ereinion (Fingon’s son), Artanáro (Finrod’s son), Finellach (Orodreth’s son), Finduilas (very much alive and not pinned to a tree with a spear!), and a very competent Elf of no particular lineage who has nevertheless become a de facto leader by merit and has thus been given the name “Finwain” because he reminds people of a young Finwë, all wash up on Balar.

They realize that their collective existence puts the Exiles in something of a succession crisis, an over-abundance of heirs, if you will. Fortunately, they have all learned a great deal from the lessons of their parents/grandparents/relatives/House of Finwë in general, and the actual problem is that none of them really wants to be king, especially Ereinion who has already been ruling as one but who has disliked nearly every minute of it and was rather hoping that one of his cousins would come take over or at least give him a hand.  He really, really misses Idril so much, who was the real if unofficial Queen of the Noldor in Exile until she sailed.

This gives bright young Finwain an idea: kingship by committee.  They’ll name a king, but really the name is just a stand-in for the lot of them working together.  This way, the Noldor get a figurehead, they can pool their different strengths and make up for each other’s weaknesses, and no one person has to be king alone.

Thus “Gil-Galad” is born.  They decide on the name (”Star of Radiance”) as an homage to Idril (”Sparkling Brilliance”), the first Gil-Galad in spirit if not in name.

Ereinion has already been ruling as a Noldor king and he’s got the nearest claim as Fingon’s son so he’s their “face” guy.  Finwain is excellent with the day-to-day administration and dealing justice.  Artanáro has studied law and economics and politics and is quite good at the statecraft and politicking part of things.  Finellach is a marvellous diplomat.  Finduilas is the best manager in a crisis, who will decide on a course of action and get it done with ruthless determination while everyone else is still dithering, and she’s also become terrifyingly good at foreign policy to boot. 

Galadríel thinks the lot of them have gone around the bend, but that may be because she was not invited to be a Gil-Galadríel when the name practically writes itself, c’mon.  They didn’t ask Celebrimbor either, for obvious reasons but he wouldn’t have accepted anyways.  Elrond is even more adept at dodging crowns and argues very convincingly that he has exactly one Noldorin grandparent whom he never met and that if he really had to pick a lineage, he’d go Sindar first, Man (Númenorean) second, and Noldor a distant fifth or sixth.  They ask Celebrían when she comes of age, partly to irritate Galadríel and mostly because Finduilas would really like another female cousin on the team, but she has far too much common sense to accept.

Surprisingly, it all works out very well.  Finwain and Artanáro have the running of the kingdom down pat between the pair of them.  Finellach manages to make friends and build alliances with nearly everyone, and anyone he can’t charm, he just sics Elrond on them because it’s impossible not to become friends with Elrond.  Ereinion gets their defences into tip-top shape because it might be a new Age but you don’t survive the First Age and remain complacent.  Finduilas takes care of their affairs abroad as well as any crises at home, and is the first person to distrust Annatar when he shows up on their doorstep. 

Sometimes they disagree with each other.  Fortunately, there are an odd number of them so there are never any ties when they have to vote (no one is allowed to abstain).  Anything serious that they really cannot come to a consensus on, they lock themselves in an inner room decorated with a special tapestry that Finduilas had commissioned of the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.  That’s usually enough of a pointed reminder about how the best-intended unions can come to ruin if they don’t manage to meet as one on the same ground.

At the end of the Second Age, they collectively agree that the Noldor in Middle-earth don’t need any more High Kings.  Anyways, it's difficult to carry on as Gil-Galad without Ereinion ever since he died nobly and publicly in the Last Alliance.  Finellach decides to sail.  Finduilas goes East on a long vacation to see all the rest of Middle-earth.  Artanáro also decides to take a long vacation and goes larking around Middle-earth in a Wandering Company.  Finwain retires to the Havens and settles down to help Círdan build ships. 

And they all lived happily ever after.  Even Ereinion, who almost beat Finrod’s record of coming back from the Halls of Mandos and who promptly became a champion sprinter when an intrigued Finarfin started asking if he thought this kingship by committee idea could work for the Noldor in Aman.

#lotr #silmarillion #gil-galad #this is a crack theory #what if every gil-galad theory was true #all your gil-galads are valid #'does gil-galad have dark hair or silver hair or blond hair?' yes! and brown hair too. #'long ago he rode away/and where he dwelleth none can say' is actually a reference to artanaro and finduilas going on vacation #is gildor inglorion actually artanaro after 3000 years of being a travelling hippie? mayhaps #finwain gave narya to cirdan like a normal person but finellach just lobbed vilya at elrond from the deck of the ship #'use that to look after your valley! it's a nice place; perfect for newlyweds; you know? now go propose to celebrian already you pumpkin'

[realasslesbian]

Idc who this upsets, but I actually hated the whole forced mask wearing era with a burning passion. As someone with epilepsy which is aggravated by heat, it was absolute hell to have to wear that shit because (and fuck what y’all abled-bodies wanna say) it DOES impact my breathing and make me overheat. And I actually cannot just ‘go get a medical exemption’ because a) they don’t give that shit out like free candy, I had to go pay $500 to a neurologist to get that lil note, and b) I could staple that med cert to my fucking forehead and still get people losing their minds every time I went anywhere without a mask. Everyone like ‘oh disabled people are so terrified of COVID-19 so you should think of them before ragging on masks like this’ as though everyone ain’t already spent the last three decades of my life not giving a singular shit about my disability, but now suddenly want to act like they care about disabled people? Why tf should I care about giving anyone the spicy cough when no one has ever given a fuck how many seizures their actions cause me? Y’all want me to put my own health at risk by wearing this mask, so you don’t get a lil sore throat, when y’all will remain deliberately oblivious to epilepsy and other heat-related illnesses, right up until someone dies, and then you’ll still have a giggle about that too? Way more people be dying every day from heat-related illnesses than from COVID-19, so where’s my mandatory air-conditioning and icepack stations at every street corner? Fuck hand sanitizer stations, provide me a free cold drink. Additionally, mask wearing was the ONLY thing people got this fucking turnt about too. It’s not like any of y’all were social distancing (something which would have actually helped me with my disability lmao). No one was getting booted out of stores for standing on my damn heels every time I had to get in a queue. Anyway, after the first twenty times I got asked to leave a store for not wearing a mask (despite having that magical medical certificate) I made up my own mask by getting four of those ‘valves’, absolutely gutting the inside of them to allow unrestricted airflow, and then stitching them into a linen mask. Still uncomfortable, fo sure, but a lot better than having to deal with hot air on my face and under my sunglasses while already struggling not to pass out in the middle of the Australian summer. 

#and like #the amount of fake news about this topic too #everyone still think that the only people who had a problem with mask wearing or COVID-19 policies or whatever #are all crazy anti-vax pro-Trump nazi conspiracy theorists #when actually most people speaking up and protesting were people like me #people with disabilities whose lives were (ironically) being put on the line by these COVID policies #or doctors who were asking very reasonable questions about the safety of these vaccinations #(and especially irt the safety of women who we later found out are actually at a much higher risk of vaccine injury) #(but lol we still don't care about that bc fuck womens health amirite) #or lawyers who were concerned about the legal framework these COVID-19 policies were being implemented under #concerns that have now come to fruition #since many of these laws that were brought in 'just for COVID-19' are still in effect and still being renewed and applied to other areas #like for example #cracking down on protestors with the threat of decades in jail #especially if those protestors inconvenience a coal mine #but you wouldn't hear about any of these qualified people and their qualified concerns in the news #bc that doesn't make headlines like 'nazis form a hippy commune and plan to eat your babies' did #honestly this whole past couple years just made me hate society even more lmao #epilepsy #disability #ableism

[rofax]

We have been using baby sign language with my daughter since she was born more or less, and I knew kids often used their first word (mama, dada, baba, etc) as like... a nonspecific general blanket word. Everything is baba. You are baba. The chair is baba. Etc.

I did NOT realize this would also be true with sign language and currently she uses "milk" for anything she wants. Cool tree? Points at it and signs milk. Toy across the room? Point and sign milk. Her favorite snack? Milk. Wants me to holder? Reaches up and signs milk.

#ro talks #about my baby #it cracks me up when she just signs milk over and over again while gesturing to like. plants. #she also does it increasingly insistently when we dont oblige her #like she kept signing milk in the local hippie shop because she wanted to touch the gemstones #but i wouldnt let her #and she is like #MILK!!! MILK!!! MILK!!!!!!!

[homoangel]

ruby after my friend and i make seal-meaning-the-animal joke #384 that day:

#oh no not the seals! 🦭🦭🦭 #spn went downhill when they stopped talking about the seals #it wasnt as fun joking about the souls/soles #we still did it but yk #angelrot #ruby supernatural fronting as an activist trying to save seals to trick classic hippie environmentalist sam winchester into opening up hell #or w/e #spn crack #angelmemes

[internetaddict104]

I hit the first Reid haircut I’m so sad his shag is gone but I love that the immediate reaction from the team (Hotch) was “Did you join a boyband?”

#ant blogs #rip the hippie hair #but also hotch cracking a joke in the most serious tone ever is so fucking funny 😂 #criminal minds #spencer reid

[filth-thezine]

#whippets #nitrous #nitrous oxide #n2o #hippie crack

[bad-at-names-and-faces]

The Cave

The long-awaited sequel to Midsummer...

Kristoff took a deep breath.  The men of the family were helping him get ready–well, they weren’t family by blood, but that didn’t matter. He had grown up here, and watched others go through this ceremony, and now it was his turn. It was his wedding day.   

Somehow, Anna had agreed to this.  He had explained to her in detail what would go on, and as insane as his family’s traditions were, she had agreed. He had heard people use words like “cult” or “commune” when he told them how he grew up, but she had been merely curious, not judgmental. That meant a lot.  He often felt bad that she didn’t have much family, but her sister, Elsa, would be coming.

“She’s here!” one of his cousins whispered through the door.  

“Are you ready, Kristoff?” Cliff asked him. 

“Ready,” Kristoff affirmed. 

He had seen this countless times growing up: they put the white linen over his head, tying it with a blindfold over his eyes.  He would see Anna again once they were married.

He stood there under the midsummer sun listening to the familiar incantations and exhortations about the meaning of marriage, which all took a deeper meaning now.  He was glad they hadn’t invited any of their friends to this, because he was pretty sure he would be an emotional wreck at the end of this once the blindfolds came off and they were really married.

He heard the final words of the ceremony, and someone linked their hands. He didn’t remember Anna’s hands feeling so cold before, but she was probably nervous.

The blindfolds came off. 

“Elsa?” he gulped.

“I said I’d be here!” she said cheerfully.

“Where’s Anna?” he whispered, realizing that his family was already coming over to congratulate them.

Elsa didn’t seem to immediately grasp what had happened.  Bulda came over to congratulate her.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Anna!” she gushed.

“I’m not Anna,” Elsa told her.

“You’re not Anna?” Bulda repeated, looking confused.  “Would you prefer we called you another name?”

“Elsa, I’m Elsa. Anna is my sister.”

“Ah, I’ll go let everyone know that we should call you Elsa.” Bulda cheerily went off to inform the rest of the family.

Elsa was looking over at the road to the farm. Kristoff realized it was Anna’s car that they were watching approach.  

Elsa looked at Kristoff.  He stood, staring. Anna cheerfully stepped out of her car.

“Elsa! Kristoff! Oh! I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long!”

“Anna, there’s…” Elsa began, obviously not sure what had happened.

“Kristoff,” Anna said as her sister trailed off, “I thought you said I wouldn’t be able to see you until the ceremony was over.”

“So, um, Anna,” Kristoff began, “it’s a funny thing…”

 “Well, if everyone is just waiting around,” Anna said, “maybe I should just go introduce myself and then get changed.”

“Anna,” Elsa grabbed her sister’s arm, “I’m so sorry, I have no idea how it happened, but the women thought I was you, and they dressed me up in this, and blindfolded me, and I’m not quite sure-”

“Technically, Elsa and I are married now,” Kristoff explained.

“Wait, what?” Anna exclaimed.

“We had no idea,” Kristoff blurted out, grabbing her hand. “I swear, or it wouldn’t have happened!” 

Anna stood, twisting her mouth, then biting her lip.  “So, um, what have you done… like… with each other?”

Elsa and Kristoff stopped and looked at each other, and burst out laughing. 

Elsa took a moment to catch her breath.  “No, Anna, that wasn’t part of the ceremony. They had us holding hands, that was it.

“Oh, good!” Anna sighed in relief, “because that would’ve been kind of awkward, really.”

Kristoff gave half a smile, simply thankful that Anna wasn’t making this more stressful than it already was.  He cleared his throat.  The three of them had been in a bubble, with nobody else bothering them for now. 

“So, um, we need to figure out what to do about this,” he finally said.

“At least nobody’s signed the license yet,” Anna laughed, pulling out a large manila folder from her bag.

“Oh! Of course!” Elsa said with relief. “You told me you were getting that.”

“Wait,” Kristoff said, looking around, does that mean none of this is legal?”

Bulda looked over. “Shhh! Kristoff!”

“Oh, sorry, Ma,” he said, looking suddenly guilty, “I wasn’t talking about the… crops.”

“Wait, Kristoff,” she asked, “who is this?”

“This is Anna.”

“Oh!  Oh! I see!” the woman said giddily, going over to shake Anna’s hands.  “We need to perform the annulment ceremony now!”

“Um, hello?” Anna said.

“Wait, annulment?” Elsa asked. “What do I have to do?”

Kristoff shrugged. “I’ve never seen that one.”

“I can’t remember the last time we had one,” Bulda admitted.  “Cliff!  Can you come over here?”

A man walked over toward them.  “What’s going on?”

“It seems the girl we married our Kristoff to wasn’t the one he meant to marry.  Do you remember how to perform the annulment?”

“I don’t remember.  When was the last one?”

“Maybe Hank will know?  Didn’t he marry the wrong girl at first?”

“This has happened before?” Kristoff asked.

“Before you came here, Kristoff,” Cliff assured him.

“What about Grandpabbie?” Kristoff asked. 

“We didn’t want to bother him,” Bulda said, “but we’ll go ask.”

Bulda and Cliff started their way over to the other side of the yard.  Kristoff looked at Elsa and Anna, and started walking, giving them a wave to follow.

Kristoff realized he had never given much thought to the traditions here, and while he knew very well that it was all much newer than the members of the Community liked to claim, he also thought that the elders had a better grip on what was what.  But as long as they could fix this, who was he to complain?

“Grandpabbie!” Cliff called into the house.

“What is it?” the old man called as he slowly came down the stairs.

“It seems we married Kristoff to the wrong person,” Bulda explained. “Do you remember how the Annulment ceremony works?”

Grandpabbie looked solemn and thoughtful. “It’s been many years.”

He gestured for Cliff and Bulda to follow him inside, closing the door behind them.

Kristoff glanced over at Elsa, who was looking like a deer in headlights.  Anna was still holding on to the blank marriage license.

“Kristoff,” Anna wshispred.

“Yes?” he said as quietly as he could.

“Can we, maybe, just head to the courthouse on Monday?”

“Totally,” Kristoff nodded, but then stopped himself.  “Just… let’s get this part done, or else visiting my family will be really awkward.”

“How long will this take?” Elsa asked.  “Even if this isn’t legal, it’s… weird.  No offense, Kristoff.”

“None taken.”

A crowd was gathering behind them. Kristoff introduced Anna to a few of his younger cousins, and she and Elsa explained the confusion. 

The door opened and everyone immediately hushed.

Grandpabbie stood in front of them. “Kristoff, Elsa, follow me.”

“And me?” Anna asked.

“Another day,” Grandpabbie told her gravely.

Kristoff looked over his shoulder and mouthed “Monday” to Anna as she stood watching them be led off by Grandpabbie.

Kristoff and Elsa were led to the edge of the woods, and Grandpabbie opened the gate along the barbed wire fence.

“Wait,” said Kristoff, “I thought this was the neighbor’s property.

“Kristoff,” Bulda said, walking over. “We told you it was off limits, that’s all.”

“Oh.” He looked around.  The woods beyond the fence looked just like the rest of the woods in the area.  

Then they arrived at a small cave.  

Grandpabbie stood at the entrance, facing them, not saying a word. 

Kristoff was used to this.  Many ceremonies involved standing silently.

“What’s going on?” Elsa asked after barely a minute.

Kristoff cleared his throat, but it wasn’t his place to speak here.

“The first to speak goes into the cave,” Grandpabbie told her.

“A cave?  Really? Then what?”

“Return, and it will be as if nothing ever happened.”

“And will someone come and find me if I get lost?”

“No one has been lost yet,” Cliff assured her.

Elsa looked at Kristoff before crawling into the cave.

“Where does the cave go?” Kristoff asked.

“I don’t know,” Grandpabbie admitted.

“I thought you said you’ve done this before!”

“Everyone comes back,” Cliff assured him.

***

Elsa sat in the cafe and sipped her coffee. 

“Wait,” Honeymaren said, “I’m confused. So you were lost in a cave? What then?”

“The cave went into somebody’s basement.”

“At that commune?”

“No, I don’t even know whose house it was, but nobody was home. I snuck out the back, and luckily the wedding tents were pretty easy to see,” Elsa laughed.  “Anna was pretty surprised, I have to say.”

“So, they got married then?”  

“Of course.  They just skipped having Kristoff’s family do it after that.”

“And his family?” 

“They were too embarrassed to say anything about it.  Thankfully they’re Anna’s in-laws, not mine.”

#kristanna #frozen fanfic #modern au #hippie trolls #slightly crack #maybe very crack #do you think hippie commune trolls will be normal?

[heungmins]

is balloons hippy crack or laughing gas im so confused now

#or are they the same thing? #i thought nangs were laughing gas but i thought balloons were hippy crack #..?

[mantaphase]

when i was in middle school i didn't know anything abt weed and whenever i saw a *hits blunt* meme i assumed it meant like. a brick wall. metaphorically. like ur train of thought runs into a blunt, which a lame logic problem and/or someone's socialist awakening has left on the tracks, and just stops like oops. we hit a blunt. can someone go move that blunt off the tracks real quick. and then once you think through the problem and come to a conclusion you can keep chuggin along. but i never heard the expression used anywhere else bc pinterest was my only social media, n i thought that was weird but then the meme died and i didn't think abt it for a while

and then when i was 15 i found out that you actually dont smoke weed with some kinda dandy gentleman's pipe like sherlock holmes and suddenly everything made sense

#and THEN i found out that pipes ARE still a thing and at that point i think i just gave up. #phaseposting #hits blunt #oh my fucking god todd did you run over ANOTHER blunt. what if it had babies??? that blunt was a mother and you killed her #later goes back and buries blunt #says a few words #puts dandelion bouquet on blunt's grave #also for context. i was homeschooled. by fundamentalists not hippies. to this day i don't know what crack actually *is* #meth??? crack cocaine??? is it just another word for coke??? idk but my mommy's friend from church says they put it in the chik-fil-a sauce

[psychoticbreak]

just remembered i've literally seen pearl jam live this summer like wtf

#life honestly went so downhill after that #miss eddie cracking jokes about being a hippie and huggin the tree next to the stage </3

[nako-doodles]

shirley your tags are comedy gold your wit is just so...british T-T

its amazing what a solid 10 hour sleep schedule can do to your synapses 120/10 would recommend it 🤣🤣🤣

#*grandma voice* why i havent had such a stable sleep schedule since the turn of the millennium! #im joking im extremely flatter thank you so much star darling 🥺🥺🥺 #funny you should say that bc i recently went to see six the musical and my diet of late shows have slowly dwindled to only john oliver #six was a solid 8/10 sometimes you could really tell a couple hippie college grad libs (affectionate) wrote the script but overall a zinger #john oliver is comedic gold as usual #im sad tho most of my late show content is now just oliver colbert noah since i ✨dont have time✨ #how did my mom wrangle a 3 yo me at my age i literally cracked my hip standing up today and im still limping!!! #ans #muwutuals