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ladykissingfish · 4 months

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I had this conversation last night with @amikotsu ; two separate scenarios so putting them both on this post 😂

*at the movies*

Deidara, sitting in between Sasori and Tobi: G-guys … I’m not so sure about this …

Sasori: Brat. You’ve been begging to see this movie for weeks.

Deidara: Yeah but, I didn’t realize … I mean after reading the reviews I didn’t know how scary it’s supposed to be …

Tobi: You’ll be okay, Senpai! Tobi and Sasori-san are right here, and we won’t let the scary things get ya! Okay?

Deidara, taking a deep breath: Okay …

*later, coming out of the theater*

Sasori: Well, I’ll hand it to you, Deidara … that WAS fairly frightening. But I’m proud of you for getting through it.

Deidara: *wraps himself around Sasori’s arm* Couldn’t have done it without that helping hand you gave me, Danna ~

Sasori: … huh?

Deidara: You know, hm … *lowers his voice* I wish you could be that romantically adventurous all the time, but I’ll admit that you doing it so quietly, in the dark, with everyone around us but nobody aware of what we were doing … that was the biggest turn-on of my life ~

Sasori:

Sasori: I didn’t touch you that entire time. My hands were folded in my lap.

Deidara: What?! Then who the hell —

Tobi, grinning and sweating bullets under his mask:

———

*at the movies, waiting in line at the snack counter*

Kakuzu: My chest hurts …

Hidan: You say that every time we come here, you cheap old fuck. Nobody made ya come!

Kakuzu: Oh, right. Like three little brats were just going to walk into an R-rated movie without adult supervision!

Deidara: We ARE adults, hm!

Kakuzu: *snorts* Yeah, sure. Now … *studies the menu* What are we going to be getting? How about we just ask for some cups for water? Water is probably free …

Itachi: But Kakuzu-san, the best part of coming to the movies is getting popcorn and soda ..

Kakuzu: Are you mad? LOOK AT THOSE PRICES! Eight dollars for a small soda?! FIFTEEN DOLLARS FOR A SMALL POPCORN?! Shit, I’m in the wrong business … I should have opened a movie theater so that I could force people to sell a kidney to buy some overrated junk food!

Hidan: My Jashin, stop whining, old man. Look, me and blondie and red-eyes will pool our money and get something for us all the share. So stop your bitchin’, alright?!

*Kakuzu sighs as the others buy four drinks and one jumbo popcorn for them all to share*

Kakuzu, as they’re walking to fill up their drinks at the soda dispenser: I won’t even ask how much this was. Next time, I’m not letting you talk me out of bringing my big bag. We’ll sneak in the entire kitchen before I let you spend money like this again. We — Kakuzu: *suddenly slips on an ice cube on the floor and slides into the wall, banging his head* *Deidara and Itachi rush to him to help him up, and Hidan brings over a manager* Hidan, to manager: What the fuck is this shit?! You guys don’t clean up these areas or what?? My friend could have seriously hurt himself!! We should call our lawyer and —

Manager: N-no need for that, gentlemen! Surely you’ll allow us to compensate you in some way …

*several moments later, in the theater before the previews start*

Deidara, eating nachos: This is great, hm! We got so much free food!

Itachi, opening his third box of candy: Not to mention free movie tickets for the next few weeks!

Hidan: And it’s all thanks to the old bastard! Thanks, Kakuzu! Oi, ‘Kuzu?

Deidara: Looks like he’s taking a nap …

Itachi: Hidan, wake him up. I think I read somewhere that it’s not safe to go to sleep with a possible concussion …

Deidara: Oi, shouldn’t we take him to the hospital then?

Hidan, slapping Kakuzu awake: We’ll go after the movies. I’ve been waiting all month to see this; Kakuzu understands. Right, old bastard?!

Kakuzu:

#sasodei #tobidei #sasodeitobi #sasori x deidara #tobi x deidara #at the movies #tw suggestive #brotp #hidan x deidara x itachi #movie theater popcorn #shit at those prices my chest would hurt too 🙃#speak softly and carry a big BIG purse #kakuzu #hidan #itachi uchiha #tobi #sasori #deidara

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silbaria · 8 months

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YOUR AKATSUKI TAROT SERIES. OH MY GOD. it's so cool to see them in that style I can't wait to see the others <3333

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO GLAD U LIKE EM they're very fun to make!!!!! I'm indecisive between Itachi Kisame or Pain......

#Silba speaks #NOT looking forward to hidan it'll be a pain in the arse but i'll take the challenge

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tea-stained · 1 month

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can y'all believe Hidan is still screaming his ass off in that hole

#y'all can't forget him. ever. maybe kishi will never speak of him again but I! I WILL SPEAK! AND WILL *NOT* BE SILENCED #never forget hidan #naruto #hidan #naruto shippuden #naruto shippuuden #boruto #boruto naruto next generations #boruto next generation #akatsuki #naruto akatsuki #akatsuki naruto

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zorosdimples · 4 months

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I need Hidan to [REDACTED] my [REDACTED].

i want to have the nastiest, sloppiest, bloodiest sex with hidan. i wanna be covered in his blood. i want him to be covered in my blood. i want him to piss inside of me. i wanna snowball with him. i wanna ruin the bedsheets. i wanna fuck with his jutsu activated so that we both orgasm at the same time and feel an insane amount of pleasure. i want him to be concerned about my health by the time we’re done.

#sorry if u read all of that i’m just speaking my truth. he has no limits. that’s so sexy of him.#everyone is lucky i haven’t written a hidan fic yet bc it will be the most deranged sex to ever exist #uhhhhhhhhhhh. yeah #hidan <3 #tw blood #cw blood #tw piss #cw piss

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ahndor · 1 year

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the akatsuki pairings being silly goofy one + super serious one is great planning on pains part tbh

#naruto #akatsuki #like. kisame is the silly goofy to itachi’s emo mysterious boy #deidara and sasori is self explanatory. same with hidan and kakuzu #deidara ended up getting too silly goofy so after sasori died they gave him tobi to make him a lil more serious #and zetsu is silly goofy + super serious all in one #also i have no clue if pain actually paired them together or not so if he didnt…..dont tell me #mars speaks

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zealctry · 1 year

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ღ we‘re curious :>

send me a ‘ღ’ and I’ll rate Hidan’s attraction(s) to your muse(s) — always accepting :

" o-ho!! I'd chew her up, spit her out, and use whatever remains unbroken of her to decorate my living quarters. she has such a pretty, pretty little face. .. . "

#CANON.#vonerde #( hidan that's not how you speak to or about a god.#hidan vc: she's so cute & dainty tho. i wanna break her in--!! )

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toodleroo · 1 year

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blogging karamazov: book ix

“Goodbye, Dmitri Fyodorovich, goodbye!” he heard all at once the voice of Kalganov, who had suddenly darted out. Running up to the cart he held his hand to Mitya. He had no cap on. Mitya had time to seize and press his hand … but the cart moved and their hands parted.

Kalganov ran back, sat down in a corner, bent his head, hid his face in his hands, and burst out crying. For a long while he sat like that, crying as though he were a little boy instead of a young man of twenty.

“What are these people, what kind of people can there be after this!” At that moment he did not even want to live in the world. “Is it worth it? Is it worth it?”

#kalganov reminded me of shikamaru and now he really reminds me of shikamaru (hidan arc)#i cannot #also i thought of the final scene from luca when i read this 🥲#the brothers karamazov #i speak

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trans-girl-uchiha-itachi · 2 years

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i peaked with the mit akatsuki au tbh. like theres so much room for gifted kid burnout itachi, obviously, but im becoming equally obsessed with the rest of them —

where are you going. hear me out —

they… THEY

like this is all so clear to me and the notes doc has been hanging out in my fic repo for a while now but i dont have a plot or anything :((((

#sasori’s fridge full of plain soylent. hes so. he just. he #deidara calls kakuzu sloanpilled. 3 bystanders end up going to the emergency room. kakuzu IS objectively sloanpilled is the thing #my fic #the trashcan speaks #text/sasori #text/deidara #text/kakuzu #text/hidan #akatsuki mit au

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sleepysnk · 2 years

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hidan is hot as fuck idc what y’all say

#summer speaks #yes #mhm #he’s fine #hidan x reader

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the8gates · 2 years

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for those of you reading come as you are, i hope you like hidan lmaooooo

#knives speaks #come as you are #i love hidan okay he has such bestie potential

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or0ch1maru · 5 days

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Think you’re funny huh?

Content: 18+, rough sex, jealous & possessive ideations mentioned, breeding kink, porn, literal porn

•

He pounds into you at a relentless pace, his tip kissing your cervix with every thrust, pulling broken mewls and whines from your pretty lips. How you ended up in this position, face mushed into the carpet, with your boyfriends large hands holding your hips firmly as he abuses your poor little cunny, is because when he picked you up from work, a mere thirty minutes ago was because he witnessed you speaking with a male coworker. You know of your lovers jealousy, and yes, there’s been times where you go out of your way to taunt him a little. Your goal being to be bent over any surface as he splits you in two.

But this evening was truly by accident, not that you’re complaining. Your mindless babbling turning into choked moans as one of his hands snake around your waist, coming to a stop around your neck, pulling you flush against his chest. This new angle allowing him to get even deeper. A bulge in your belly visible from the sheer size of him, being so deep.

“Think you’re so fucking funny huh? Talking to him right in front ‘f me.”

He taunts you, his thrusts turning sloppy as he feels his release creeping up on him. His voice deep, and his breath coming out heavy as he speaks to you, even though you can barely process what’s coming out of your lovers mouth. A whine escapes your lips in reply. Whimpering as you feel yourself get even fuller, your boyfriend painting your gummy and overused walls with his cum. He fucks his seed into you before pulling out. Pulling your soaked panties back up, the soft fabric sitting snug against you.

“Gonna send you into work just like this, stuffed full of my cum. Let those other guys know that you belong to me..”

•

TOJI, SUKUNA, Suguru, Satoru, RENJI, KENPACHI, Naoya, OBITO, Pain, Kisame, Sasori, Todo, Choso, HIDAN, Kakuzu, Shiu

#sukuna smut #toji smut #geto suguru smut #satoru gojo smut #renji smut #kenpachi zaraki smut #kisame hoshigaki smut #obito smut #naoya zenin smut #todo smut #akatsuki smut #sasori smut #jjk smut #bleach smut #choso smut #hidan smut #kakuzu smut #shiu kong smut

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moumouton4 · 11 months

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What Reboots Their Systems Right Away || Naruto characters x reader 2

A/n : Had this idea a while ago. Thanks to Sasuke ✨

Naruto Headcanons series : 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Warnings : Contains both fluff and NSFW ( under the cut )

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Words count : 1691

Sasuke Uchiha : He just forgets everything that is going on when he's having a hard time and you kiss his forehead. After the reboot he is right away able to think and analyze what is happening properly around him. You just got this power to soothe him and help him get out of these negative thoughts. And he knows how to return the favor in his own way when you're the one stuggling

Shikamaru Nara : Being an adult is such a drag. Work is such a drag too. So when he finally has time to have time for himself and chill under the clouds he can't help but keep thinking about other matters. So when you join him and put his head on your thighs and untie his hair before ruffling his hair. In an instant he feels his brain pause, unable to think anymore, his eyes just looking at the shapes of the clouds in the sky above you, enjoying his day off, occasionally looking your way to make sure he isn't dreaming. He's just so thankfull to have a little marvel like you in his life

Naruto Uzumaki : He is a simple man so just seeing you wearing his iconic black and orange jacket make butterflies erupt and happily fly in his stomach while he can't help but freeze in his action. You just look so small in this jacket it makes him want to carry you around on his back like a little backpack so bad - yes if he ever catch you he'd walk around the village with you like that. So you better try to avert other people's gaze because you ain't gettting down anytime soon

Iruka Umino : You're his first so when you bury your face in his neck or chest he needs a little minute or two to process that you're touching him. Willingly and physically - oof O.O But he loves it so much because like this he feels like he can protect you from everything the world send your way

Sai : He always takes such a great intake of air when he feels your hand press on his naked lower back and caress his pale skin. Of course he knows it's affectionate but he still feels like he needs to hold his breath. Sometimes you have to remind him to breath because he starts turning blue and that's actually never good

Hidan : The sight before him that always leave him breathless is when he sees your necklace dangling from your robe when your fiercly fighting your opponent. Should he add, his necklace that he gave you shortly after your meeting to the glory of Jashin. Once he took a hit in the jaw because of how entranced by you he was. He knows you may not approach this god the same way as him but he can't help but find you so sexy fighting with him for his believes. And should I add how strong you look when you're getting those corps ready for his ritual

Sasori : He always think about work so if you wanna make him aware of your existence you better be speak his language... and not make him wait. So everytime you come up with another corpse of a powerfull being for his puppets, he can't help but look at you with stars in the eyes as his brains fuel with all the ideas that come to him and… he doesn't work anymore and he stays fixed in the void. You know he is kinda happy when let's go of his tool and motion for you to sit on his lap while he works. And oddly having you here with him doesn't make him think one scond that he is losing his time

Itachi Uchiha : He's just on autopilot when you lift his shirt from behind and put your hands on his shoulders before massaging his aching muscles gently. Like he leaves you in charge of him and the rest he can't handle, not that he cares when your hands are just literally easing his pain like this. You've always been with him from what he recalls and he never manages to keep a conversation with you while your hands work on his shoulders and back. It just puts him to sleep right away, and that's good because he deserves it

Gaara : The wheels in his brain just stop when he hears you say the words "Dance with me" just after you put on some music and pulled pulls him flush against your body and asked him for a slow dance. His brain gets surrounded by so much questions like "Is he worthy of your time ?", "Will he disappoint you ?", "Will you hate him after you discover he CAN'T dance ?" that his brain overheats and he stands there motionless while you try to dance with him. Fortunately a kiss on the cheek and it's good he works again, but he is as red as his hair

Hashirama Senju : You tell him so much that he is strong that he sometimes forgets how strong you actually are. So when he sees you fighting an opponent fiercely, he can't help but look at you in awe as if you were Madara himself the strongest kunoichi he has ever seen. He just 🤩 and shower you with praises

Tobirama Senju : He may be really gifted to hide his feelings but gosh he can't help his face from showing how stuned he is when he sees you acting possessive towards him. Like the glare you send those people who dares to get to close to him. Like he could just ask them to leave him the fuck off but he just loves to see you this mad... it's kinda hot you know... but this he won't tell you

NSFW starts here :

Kakashi Hatake : He always freezes and stares at you as if he was trying to bore holes into the top of your head when he sees you get on your knees in front of him at unexpected times. Like literally everywhere you know no one will walk in on you, on a hill, in the forest, on the training grounds, in the Hokage office... but it doesn't mean you're going to actually do something. You just love to see him all hot and botherd like this. But don't you worry he's going to get back at you sooner than you expected

Orochimaru : Really very little can get to him but when he sees you acting so cold and violent, he can't help but have his piercing eyes widen or his head wipe in your direction if he hears you cursing at someone. Like wow, you're clearly not the one to get walked on. It's lowkey such a turn on a right now he just wants to throw you over his shoulder like a potato sack and take you to your room to ravish you

Yamato : His brain really needs time to process when you go to him and ask him to zip up the back of your dress. Like bro is so flustered, but you're not helping either because you enjoy seeing squirm while trying to avert his eyes from your ass when you're wiggling it at him. After this he has to try so bad to stay cool and not have a hard on just before you guys leave your house. Don't worry he'll keep this in mind for when you get bad though

Deidara : You love the high pitched screams that come out of his mouth when you do that. Sometimes he doesn't know what gets into you for doing this and frankly you neither. But you just take his hand and lick his palm where one of his other mouths is and well he can't say it's not turning him on but still he's an artist his mind shouldn't get clouded with those thoughts... "Fine just this time" he always says that

Neji Hyuga : He is so pure and he is always flabbergasted when you tell dirty jokes about his Byakugan and the fact that he can at any given moment look through your clothes "Hey Love are you enjoying the view" and he's like ". . . . . . . . . Y/n my eye are always this colour" "Then how can I know you're not perving all the time ?" you always end up laughing your ass off when he becomes red as a tomato and just stares anywhere but at you. He knows you're joking but if you only knew what he was thinking about "A little look wouldn't hurt right ?"

Rock Lee : Okay so hear me out everytime he says he's going to go around the village 500 times on his hands if he doesn't do somethig else before you always add playfully "and if you can't do it either you're going to make me cum 20 times tonight" Of course each single time he gets red and starts stuttering... but be careful because one day he'll fail his task on purpose just to make your fiction a reality and the only think you're going to be able to utter will be his name

Madara Uchiha : He is also a simple man in his own way. All he needs to mentally disconnect from this planet is for you to grab his neck with your hand when when you guys are kissing. Like you just look so hot and sexy when you're on top of him taking control like this. But don't play your luck to much because he's going to fold you in half next time he fucks you

Genma : His brain shuts straight when you leans into him and and take the senbon that he holds in his mouth with your teeth. Your lips are so close to yours and he wants to kiss you so badly that it's the only thing he can think of, to undress you in the middle of the street and fuck you for being so cocky. That's his job not yours

A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! 🍋🍽 Again my requests are open 🔥💚

Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff

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jesi555 · 9 months

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꩜ tw. nsfw, choking, rough sex 🤭

You’re too noisy. Not that he doesn’t want you to make noise, but when you keep verbally teasing him for the smallest things, he wants you to just shut the fuck up. He’s had enough and honestly speaking, choking and pressing your face with his bigger hand is quite a good way to shut you up.

꩜ zoro . doflamingo . yamato . kidd . madara . tobirama . hidan . uzui . sanemi . muzan . toji . bakugo . sukuna . higuruma . tsukishima . sakusa . iwaizumi . ushijima . endeavour

꩜ 2023 all rights belong to jesi555 on tumblr. thank u so so much for reading!! reblogs are always appreciated !!

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cherubfae · 2 months

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|| love rival || Akatsuki x reader

They're now realizing what a mistake it was to introduce you to the group, now they have competition with their own teammate.

tags: former ninja!reader, gn! civilian reader, established relationships, threats, violence, protective!akatsuki, slightly suggestive in Sasori's || MDNI

Pain

He knows that Konan is harmless and she's not the sort of disrespectful person to go sniffing about where she doesn't belong, especially where he and his partner are concerned. Pain, however, cannot tolerate the lingering touches Konan gives you as she passes by. Her hand brushing yours, guiding you with an arm around your shoulders, and blushing at you. He feels a warning is warranted.

"You are my dear friend, Konan, I have known you many years, but this simply won't do. You are better than how you are acting. Be respectful and leave them alone, and I won't need to inflict pain upon you."

Konan

Oh, well isn't this troublesome. Konan isn't the type to make idle threats, but Pain is her commander and leader. That would not be a wise decision on her part, but she does trust her long-time friend to be somewhat respectful and not place you in any situation where you would be uncomfortable. She's not above putting her foot down if she really must.

"Sir, with all due respect, my partner isn't interested and we would both appreciate you to mind your manners."

Obito

You are his everything. He would destroy the entire world for you. Level mountains, tame seas, there isn't anything he wouldn't do as long as it's within his power. He's pretty surprised that Zetsu even took a liking to you, as he's not one that's expressed interest in most anything other than his eating habits.

"Surely Zetsu is mistaken. My partner isn't a corpse for you to munch on you, nor are they yours for the taking. Keep your distance and I won't have to bloody you up too much."

Zetsu

As with anything, both sides of him are at a near constant quarrel with each other. His light side trying to reassure his darker side that Tobi is harmless and doesn't mean anything malicious by taking interest in you.

"Tobi is a good boy, he means no harm." "His harm is his unwarranted interest in our beloved partner. Fool! You have no sense, do you?"

Hidan

Honestly he could laugh so hard he may undo the stitches in his neck. That old fucker wants his partner?? Is he actually serious?

"Haha! That's fucking rich! You've gotta be at least one-hundred by now, huh? Fuck off, geezer! They're not yours!"

Kakuzu

Clearly decapitating Hidan over and over doesn't make him talk any less. Neither does stabbing him-- but it sure does take the edge off. Kakuzu would rather not deal with the younger man's insufferable stubbornness. You are his lover, his alone, and Hidan had no chance in whatever the fuck kind of afterlife his mighty lord Jashin provides. None. Fuck off, Hidan.

"As if they'd want someone as lowly as you. You don't even pay for your own shit. Remember your place or I won't hesitate to remove you from this world permanently. One swipe and your head will be freed from your miserable shoulders. I'm sure all sorts of insects would love to burrow inside of that hollow space."

Itachi

For a moment he's reminded of Sasuke's little schoolboy crush on you, except Kisame isn't Sasuke. He is a grown adult capable of getting in the way of Itachi's livelihood. Threatening the sanctity of his relationship. He's unlikely to do much other than step in if he crosses any boundaries or makes you uncomfortable. So until something is said, it's just this weird, heavy atmosphere. Kisame starts to speak but Itachi cuts him off immediately.

"Keep their name out of your mouth, Kisame. I won't warn you again."

Kisame

Oftentimes he wonders how lonely Itachi is. He annihilated his entire clan save for his younger brother in a single night. He took away everything he loved and for what? He can appreciate Itachi's past but Kisame doesn't take too kindly to the eldest Uchiha brother being a bit too welcoming and protective of his partner.

"Itachi, a word of advice. Don't shit where you eat. And keep your nose out of other's relationships. You're a good, respectable man and I appreciate your concern in my partner's well-being. Let me handle it from here."

Sasori

There's still the age-old artistic view difference between the two: eternal art vs shortlived art. One could argue both have their merits, but even after all these years it was a sore subject between the blonde and redhead duo. And now you were thrown into the mix.

"If you truly think you're so superior to me, Deidara, then perhaps you'd be more open to what a waste your art truly is. My partner prefers eternal, long-lasting, but there's nothing long nor lasting about, is there?"

Deidara

This was great. Jusssst great. Sasori had been hanging around his area of the hideout more and for what, Deidara wasn't sure. Until he recalled that you had been given special permission to visit from Pain himself. You'd forsaken your village long ago and clearly had no interest in reporting them, so it was allowed. Sasori had begun skulking about ever since and the blonde could guess why he might be drawn to you.

"If you even think about turning my partner into a fuckin' puppet, I won't hesitate to kill you, Sasori. No matter which way I go about it, you'll end up in splinters. So, I repeat. Stay the fuck away from them, hmm."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

#akatsuki x reader #akatsuki imagines #naruto x reader #naruto imagines #pain x reader #pein x reader #konan x reader #zetsu x reader #obito uchiha x reader #hidan x reader #kakuzu x reader #itachi uchiha x reader #itachi x reader #obito x reader #kisame x reader #sasori x reader #deidara x reader #cherubfae 2024

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