#hi im here talking about trans music artists again
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so first is fine (fee neh)
i think their theme is like. princely/angelic? Im not a huge fan of their music they might be my least favorite unit music wise. You might recognize two of these faces. they were the antagonists in the beginning of the anime
This is Trickstar! Theyre kinda the protags during ! era. The orange one (Subaru) is the face of Enstars
They dont really have like. a theme? Its kinda. wow look how fun it is to be friends! Theyre pretty diverse in music style ive heard. i dont listen to much of their music
Ryuseitai! You know this but their theme is superheroes
Ive already spoken a good deal about them but i like their music
Alkaloid! They have a card theme and are the protags for the !! era
again you might recognize a few faces. i dont havw much to say on their music style again i havent listened muxh to them
Eden!
technically theyre two subunits, Adam and Eve, and they combine to create Eden. Eve is the two on the left, while Adam is the two on the right. I'm not gonna mention the characters but oh my goddd they sure are! characters! Eden was the antagonists for the second half of the anime. Their songs are kinda more rocky and very risque which is funny considering the biblical allegories
Valkyrie! The best unit ever!
Their aesthetic is a very steampunk one and they have a very unique sound i love love love their songs. theyre all very artistic and not at all idol like
2Wink! The twins!
Their style is the most electro of the units its like synth pop. The pink one is Hinata and the blue one is Yuuta theyre literally the trans colors
Crazy:B! They and Alkaloid are a recent (!!) addition. Crazy:B play the antagonists to Alkaloid's protagonists
Theyre very. idk. punk rnb? smth like that idk
UNDEAD! The edgy ones!
their theme is theyre edgy and unruly and uh. thats kinda it? also middle guy is a vampire and blodn guy is a womanizer and right guy is a furry and left guy is Adonis everyones dream man
Ra*bits!
One of these members is a college freshman. The rest are second years. take a wild guess as to whos who <3
This acually isnt that great of a pic since theyre not wearing their usual constumes one sec
theyre just lil sailor boys <3 their music is generally cutesy and upbeat they get to pics bc i love them and also i needed to show you both outfits the secondoen actually isnt even their usual outfits so id add a third image but this is already long
Akatsuki! Ive already talked about them but heres another pic
Againt heyre traditional japanese both in theme and music
Knights! Theyre the most popular unit i think. I'm not a huge Knights fan
apparently theyre the most boybandish sounding? idk i really hate one of their songs tho so theres that the other ones are fine tho
Switch! Theyre magicians. they also have an electronic sound
i like the songs iv eheard from them. Tsumugi (blue) is literally me
MaM
The only solo unit! hes a cowboy
Double Face
this is a special unit bc you might recognize them. thats bc they have their own units, this is a special unit they do all the dirty work of their company like assassinations and whatever idk i skipped the origin story. not sure what their sound is like bc i havent listened to much
ok heres my evaluation on all of them.
fine: they are certainly VERY princely and angelic i absolutely adore their outfits omg theyre SO cool. also WOO MY FAV CLOWN GUY!!!
trickstar!: the power of friendship is definitely a theme wdym. i love their little jackets!
ryuseitai: it's the guys it's my fav go go power rangers!! they have CAPES!!!!!!!!
alkaloid: CARD THEME IS SUCH A COOL IDEA!!! and that's hit tbh creacher rinne's brother right? i forgot his name i want to say hinne but thats def not right lmao (edit it's hiiro i got the h right!!)
eden: theyre all very majestic and gorgeous good gracious. is that an album cover? bc if so its a GREAT one. do they get along with the angel boys bc of. the religious thing (<- thinks i am funny)
valkyrie: STEAMPUNK BEST AESTHETIC YESYESYES I HEART THEM!!! wdym by artistic rather than idol? that sounds very very cool
2wink: trans color palette love that for them
crazy:b: does a little dance i think theyre my favourite i listened to that spider song like twelve times it was SOOOOO GOOOD
undead: ehehe the edgelords. vampire guy is the one u showed me b4 right?
ra*bits: LITTLE SAILOR GUYS!!!!! im guessing the college one is the brown hair bc he's the littlest and animes tend to do that
akatsuki: THE FELLAS!! i loved their thing with the fan waving in the mv u sent me very cool. also that pic is a slay/10 WOW GET IT KINGS
knights: i love the knight theme and also the hair of middle guy & the guy directly to the right of him.
switch!: WOW THE REAL CRANE?? did not kno u were an idol craneberry i support u. their outfits remind me of boy scout uniforms
mam: OMG COWBOY HES SOOOO. I HAVE A CRUNCH ON HIM
doubleface: their outfits are so drippy def one of my favs so far. and it looks like they have sheriff badges maybe? i love assassins good for them
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ok so we have seen over and over again people's assumptions about how gg main characters's instagrams would look like but how do you think their secret tumblr blogs would be? 👀
hmm! i just went over tumblr in general, because i don’t think all of them would have ‘secret’ tumblrs per say? everyone’s thing under the cut, cause it got SO long. i did not mention chuck because i don’t rlly see chuck as having a tumblr in any universe tbh - i feel like he would think it takes away from his businessy vibe or something.
dan's main would be something with a ts eliot url, like, a snippet from one of his poems, or it would be a whitman url, a snippet from a poem again (i see him with a whitman url of some kind & maybe his blog title is an eliot reference.) dan would 100% have the whole dark academia thing going in some ways, i think his blog would be organised as a grid, and he would reblog pictures of libraries, museums, occasionally of art, and also, quotes. so many quotes. so much literature. if you've been on tumblr long enough you know exactly the kind of blog i'm talking about.
dan's tumblr sideblog, on the contrary, would have nothing to link it to him. it'd probably be the tumblr default theme, pastel colours or something... i feel like dan is the specific genre of trans kid who uses a different set of pronouns online for anonymity purposes and then goes "wait a minute i like these pronouns BETTER". his url would be something extremely mundane and random like coffeeaddict779 or something, and it would be all #vent and #dont reblog. nobody who's following his sideblog knows what his main is, and vice versa.
serena would i think have one of those "be kind, do no harm :)" kind of hipster tumblr blogs, except she's incredibly sincere. she wouldn't have a sideblog, i don't think? and i don't think she'd attach her name to it in any way, probably just pronouns in bio and maybe a 'call me S'. she and dan would be mutuals on dan's main! her blog will be very, uh. aesthetic pictures, reblogs of dolphin videos and music and WIP art videos and anything else that'll catch her eye. she'll tag blair in fashion vids, nate in sailing posts, dan in literary stuff, and vanessa in film related/photography related things. she's having fun! every now and then she'll post a vent post but it's extremely vague and it's either something everyone who knows her irl already knows about her ('i hate my mom so much') or something that says practically nothing ('i am so worried about my brother and wish i could do more to help him.')
jenny's fashion inspo blog!!!! what more do you want me to say. she'd make it big in the fashion community and get anons all the time and she'd probably also have an etsy where she sells things she's sewn and made. everyone sort of knows she's an up and coming designer and she'd find a good community online hopefully!!! her blog would be something simple, with a url like jennydesigns or something (i bet that's taken rn, i havent checked) and her theme would be one of those themes that allows for u to have big images. she would probably post vents in the same way serena does, tag them #personal or #rambles, and have that neat code that allows for the tag to be filtered out whenever anyone views her page on desktop, you know?
i think eric would not have anything specific that he posts. he would just reblog random things - memes, things he finds interesting, jenny's original posts, stuff serena tags him in, cat videos, lgbtq+ positivity, etc. he'd try and stay out of drama (i think he'd turn anon off eventually.) he’d also post a lot of music reblogs or links, i feel?
vanessa's main blog would be one where she posts her own photos and films. because she's professional about it, it'd probably just be @ vanessaabrams. she'd have a sideblog specifically for reblogging other people’s work because she wants to support other artists, and it would be vanessareblogs or something like that, and her bio would mention “main tumblr @ vanessaabrams”. she’d be much adored in the photo/film community and just in general, because she’s one of the few people who hypes up other creators all the time and leaves nice comments in tags and all that. every now and then serena reblogs vanessa’s photography onto her blog and it almost always blows up, but vanessa doesn’t mind. i don’t think vanessa would have a vent blog or even a personal tag, she gives me big ‘i wanna keep my business totally off the net’ kind of vibes.
nate’s blog would be a lot like serena’s except, uh, more openly wanderlusty i think. a LOT of ocean reblogs. every now and then he reblogs keroauc quotes from dan which the girls find extremely hilarious. he talks a lot about sailing and gets a lot of sailing anons. he’d reblog a lot of positivity (mostly because he knows his friends are following him and he wants to brighten up their dash.) dan and vanessa jokingly dm him weed aesthetic posts all the time, but every time they do he reblogs and tags it ‘sent to me’ or somehting like that, and they cant decide whether to be flattered or embarrased. i think nate would also attract a lot of anons who ask for advice and it is something he never expected people coming to him for, but he definitely listens and shares whatever he’s got to say all the same. he’s this blog who should be weirdly niche but everyone sort of knows him and likes him.
saving the best for the last, lol. i have SO many thoughts about blair’s tumblrs.
i think she’d have a main tumblr that’s solely for classic film stuff (audrey! and more) and that’d be @ blairwaldorf, because, well, duh. i think she’d pay for a tumblr theme and get one of those really fancy and cute ones, like a floralcodes ms paint theme. i think she’d also have a sideblog that’s less serious, where she’d reblog things from tv shows, reblog things serena or nate have tagged her in, write her own meta for fandoms she’s in, just generally be a multifandom mess with a #personal tag but nothing too personal. it would still be classy, because she’s blair, but on this blog, she’s just a girl having fun.
and then she’d have a THIRD blog, a sideblog that doubles up as a vent blog. and this one isn’t linked to her other two in an obvious way, nobody knows it’s her, etc. on here she’d probably post a lot about her ed (but i think in a ‘i am struggling and i want to bitch’ way, not in a thinspo way - that’s a whole conversation i have no spoons for, so let’s not go there), she’d post about her insecurities and worries but it would be extremely untraceable. she’d have a fancy theme on this one too, despite it being a vent blog.
hm. now im thinking of the potential of like. dan and blair interacting super frequently on their vent blogs and neither of them knowing it’s the other person!
#meta#this was fun! thanks for the ask#i was initally gonna edit graphics#who knows i still may#but i realised that would take WAYYY too long#so have my words instead#anon#tumblr au#so i can find later if i need it
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Bloody Painter Headcanons
am i gonna write about helen even tho no one cares? fUCK YEA @creepy-bi-day hope you enjoy. Im still not a writer sorry :/. also my personal hcs, its okay to disagree. Also dark themes again.
Bloody Painter
Backstory:
was born on Oct 1st, 1980, fully name Helen Otis
mother is white, father is Japanese
is an only child. Helen’s parents had a very difficult time in getting pregnant like yeeeaaars (10 ish) and they also really wanted a girl. Like in their head, they would be getting a girl. and when they did get pregnant the ultra scan did show a girl. so they were in shock when a boy popped out.
they no likely. Since helen’s mom was a teacher, they decided to raise the boy as a girl and simply homeschool them until they had to go to college, once there they could simply transition into a girl. This is how they thought trans people were so they thought they’ll do the same to get a girl (This was obliviously wrong)
so they tried to do that but mother couldn’t get the needed forms and paperwork to homeschool Helen so they had to go to school. so their parents decided the best thing to do was to make them as manly as possible in 6 months. so everything pink and girl (lots of which were comfort items like plushies, and art things) were thrown out in front of poor 6 year old Helen who didn’t understand what was happening. Helen couldn’t do art, couldn’t wear certain clothes, couldn’t say certain things. punishments weren’t physical but there was a lot of yelling.
around the 3 month before school started, their parents decided that maybe Helen should meet their grandparents (parents kept giving excuses why they couldn’t visit). everything was going swell until the grandparents on the father’s side asked why name their BOY a GIRL name. before the parents could say anything, helen said “cause im a girl?” ... yaaaa queerphobic grandparents and little helen didn’t get along. plus helen was white passing so asian grandparents blamed their mom.
parents cut contact with the grandparents, and yelled at helen a lot. (poor bby) this mental abuse continued over 3 months and caused helen to stop talking and start repressing a lot of his feeling which his parents encouraged cause “”bOYs donT hAve fEeLinGs””
in school, the parents told the teacher that there was a mix up when filling out his name and that they should call him Otis. Of course one teacher messed up and called him Helen, and then they got a lot of comments form their peers, but they learned not to say that they were a girl at this point.
helen was lightly bullied for his name, and when they tried to tell a teacher they were told to “man up :))”
and so more repressing feelings
it wasn’t until middle school where someone (a kid who they later learned was named tom), stole and planted a watch of another girl into helen’s bag. This meant helen’s bullying got a lot worse. Before it was a comment here or there, now it was physical and a lot often. this is also when he began to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression.
he slowly became friends with Tom, who was also bullied a lot. But one day Tom took Helen to the roof where Tom confessed into planting the watch. Helen was very upset, and the two started to argue when Tom slipped off the edge, Helen tried to hold on to Tom, but Tom let go of his hand. Tom dead.
there was an investigation done, and Helen wasn’t in trouble as some students and teachers said how they saw him hold onto Tom. The school was given a speech about how bullying was bad, and tried to get things back to normal. Helen’s bully did die down, tho lots of ppl tried to spread rumors about how he pushed Tom.
his parents were more upset over how this would look and not about Helen’s mental health. Helen never told them about the bulling.
When high school started, the bullies acted as if nothing happened. and on Halloween, Helen snapped and killed 5 of the main bullies. He was caught and sent to a mental hospital.
so you think that finally, Helen can get the help they need right :)). ahhah no....
so the hospital did diagnose Helen with depression and a mild case of anxiety, but basically put them on pills. the actually therapist had a very hard time getting Helen to open up. this is because the on their first session helen started with his gender identity, and the therapist told him “look you are biologically a boy, so you must be a boy :))” and when they said that sometimes he felt more comfortable when they were more fem, they was told that was wrong.
so helen shut up like a clam cause they did not feel safe with this guy
at least they learned how to somewhat manage their depression and anxiety :)
once helen turned 18 he was released, and Helen decided to be an artist and not kill. but he saw another one of his bullies and said fuck it.
slender saw and was like “i like this child. imma adopt them”
and Helen joined the mansion
Personality:
look Helen was mocked and betrayed by basically every person in their life, they don’t trust ppl
they are nice, but they don’t new people
if you’re nice they’ll be nice, if you’re mean they’ll be mean, simple
cold hearted, look if you are neutral to them and get run over by car they wont do anything. the world was shit to them, they’re shit back.
quiet. like Helen could be inches away and you still won’t hear them
buttttt if you get close (good luck) you see a passionate, kinda nerdy, very kinda touch starved, sarcastic person who just lived a shitty life.
Fun Facts:
k mans has a 6 inch dick, 7 when hard, but is thick, and stretches you out-
*cough* moving on-
bi sexual. Helen has a very hard time acknowledging romantic feelings but is down to date the girls, gays and theys. again good luck getting there but it may happen.
gender fluid Helen has come a long way and their gender identity has ranged from girl, boy, both, none and yes. They’ve settled on gender-neutral pronouns but doesn’t hate being called she/her or he/him usually. On a bad day, they can’t say the same.
Called them painter. The only ppl who can called them by their birth names are ppl who are close to them. On fem days, they like Helen. On masc days, they like Otis. Sometimes they don’t care, sometimes they just wanna be called painter. If you’re not sure and you actually care just ask, he’ll say what day it is. usually they dress accordingly, but still if you’re not sure ask, they’ll prefer it.
Speaking of clothes, the fit??? is on point???? like imagine dark academia with more blues, blacks and tans. Helen looks like the protagonist of a boarding school au.
they will wear skirt and dresses and corsets, and do they’re (slightly basic) hair and makeup.
some creeps (jeff) tried to make fun of helen for this. And when you look at Helen you dont think that they’re much of a fight. Helen’s lean and kinda thin (kid doesn’t eat a lot), but Helen did karate for year cause their dad wanted their “perfectly normal son” to do something manly and kinda close to their culture. Helen learned how to fight with a very good guard and how to be very fast but not so much strong. Wasn’t until he got out of the mental hospital did he learn about pressure points, specially those that dont need a lot pressure :) you see where this is going.
Basically Helen is that one movie character who touches a spot on someone's neck and they pass out. (this is the best i can describe it, they dont do this exactly but similar things)
also very talented at art and arty things. like annoyingly good. he’ll try wood craving and make amazing things after only learning about it an hour ago. Current draws online and does online commissions to pay for his coffee
actually likes hunting, not with gun but with like bows an arrows. they dont hunt often cause they like animals
has to finish whatever they’re working on. please force this baby into bed
has a coffee addiction
likes classical music and lofi.
dont talk about the whole painting with blood thing, they were 14, it was cringey, they know
hair is like chin length ish, its black with waves, so if they wanna be masc they can tie it up and when its fem, they can let it down and straighten it
forgets to eat, feed them
k this is long. As you can see I can also write a whole essay about Helen. I will write about Helen’s and Johnny friendship, along with the other creeps later. but im tired.
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Season 4 notes
Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm.
ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make.
ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that.
ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm.
GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131.
ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally?
ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed.
ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no?
ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye.
ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol.
ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure.
ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew
ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want
big man. yeah jonah for sure did something.
ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever
ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way"
ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao
ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked?
ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy.
ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man.
ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous.
ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye.
ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds"
ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess.
oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152
ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book?
ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing.
ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt
kill them. oh... bye melanie.
ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick.
Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult.
ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D:
ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D:
ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute.
ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.
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Galton pride
this took me a whole year to write and i’m recyling mood boards....it’s a bad time for me
Nova looked up at the float. Tomorrow was Galton’s anual pride festival, and her team got their own float. “So, it came out nice.” She said looking at the fringe on the side and the signs and posters hung on it. Ruby had hung many “protect trans kids” poster as Oscar hung small bi flags on the elevated part they’d be standing on. Dana added flag from her house that had the words “girls love girls” in pink. Adrian has drawn some good pan posters too. Novas contribution had been the huge “love always wins” sign on the back of the float. She’s decorated it each of their flags for their sexualities, she thought it looked nice. “Nice?” Oscar asked. “It’s totally sick!” He high-fived Ruby who was grinning and covered in blue and pink paint. “Can you imagine us on this tomorrow?” She said as she climbed back on to it. “I’ll be here like ‘Trans right!’ And Oscar will be over here eating cotton candy that looks like a bi flag. And Dana will sit up there being gay and loving women! And Adrian will stand there with his pen and make rainbow renegades pins. And nova will stand here,” she pointed to the center of the float. “And wave awkwardly as she does.” Oscar and Adrian laughed. Dana yelled a ‘hell yeah!’ And high-fived Ruby. “Hey, I’m not that awkward.” Nova fought with a smile on her lips. “You say that now until you see the pictures of yourself tomorrow.” Oscar laughed and held out one of the beaded necklaces in the bi flag colors to Nova. “Wear that tomorrow, for solidarity.” He said as he put his own on. She smiled and put hers on too. “Okay guys, we need to be here at seven tomorrow. So wear a nice outfit and try and include some pride items too.” Adrian said as he shooed ruby and Dana off the float. “Ruby, didn’t you say you had face paint?” Adrian asked. “Yeah! I should have all the colors we need. I might not have all Dana’s colors though.” She said sadly. “It’s alright Ruby, I have my own anyway.” Dana winked at her and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Okay well, let’s get home and rest before the main event tomorrow.” Adrian smiled at his team.
The next morning Nova showed up to the warehouse they were starting at earlier than needed. She wore a black T-shirt with a small bisexual flag colored heart where a breast pocket would be. Her hair was down as always and she wore a pair of dark denim short since it was hot. The necklace Oscar had given her was around her neck. Her combat boots made an echo in the large building as the only other people here were the council, Adrian and a couple civilians doing maintenance. Adrian waved Nova over to where he and his dads were sitting, an area with a couple chairs and a supply of donuts, coffee and waters. “Hey.” Adrian said with a smile. Nova smiled back and sat next to him. “Hi.” She smiled. “Hi Nova, how are you?” The captain asked. She turned to him, she still felt weird about everything that happened between her and the council. Sure she had tried to kill him, and sure she did hate him from the time she was a small child, but they mended everything with multiple meetings and countless crying session (all of them recorded from the captains office or the interrogation room). “Im good, I’m excited to be on the float this year. I’ve come to all of the pride parades you’ve had so far.” She tucked hair behind her ear. “It’s nice to see that you guys are not only representing the lgbtq+ community but encouraging the people in it.” This was something that’s never changed in her mind. She loved the colorful flags and the face paint and the shirts she bought herself every year, though she had to hide them from the others. Unlike Adrian’s parents, Nova’s uncle wasn’t supportive of this kind of stuff. Most of the Anarchists were like that too, leaving Nova with internal conflict and self hatred that filled her need for her Uncle’s approval. “It’s nice to hear.” Hugh said with his classic smile. Adrian swiped his hand over Nova’s and caught her attention. “Wanna go and put some finishing touches on the float?” He asked as he held up his pen. Nova nodded and stood with him. “I’ll see you out there.” Nova said to the super couple as they walked off, hearing them chuckle.
“So, you want to help me paint my face?” Adrian asked as they made it to their float. He pulled out his marker, ready to sketch out some paints. “Sure, though I’m not quite the artist you are.” Nova smiles as she hoisted herself up to sit on the float next to her boyfriend. Adrian smiled back at her as he drew the pots of paint on the different colors of fabric or tinsel that covered the wooden float underneath. “Well, I don’t think a tiny flag will be too hard.” He said as he finally drew a paint brush too. Nova took the small brush from him and dipped it in the blue paint, using her other hand to take his glasses off. “Stop smiling so much so I can paint your face, dork.” Nova said as she patted the apples of his cheeks as he smiled. “Sorry.” He said trying to be serious. “Force of habit.” Nova let out a small laugh and continued the stripes of color on his cheeks. When she was finished she nodded. “Some of my best work.” She said simply and handed the brush to Adrian. “My turn.” She said and leaned her face towards him. Adrian just laughed at her enthusiasm and drew up some purple paint. “You really are excited aren’t you?” He said as he dipped the paint brush in the first pot of paint. “I am.” Nova said, stopping when the paint bust was swiping against her tanned skin. “I’ve always loved the parade. My uncle was homophobic and it made things really weird, especially when I got a crush on a girl for the first time. I wanted to talk to him, but hsse shut down the conversation as soon as I asked ‘is it okay for two people of the same gender to be in love?’ It was scary and new and I had no one to explain.” Nova kept her eyes closed and waited for the cool sensation of the paint on her skin again but it didn’t come. When she opened her eyes Adrian was looking at her with a sad look. “Nova,” He started. “Nope. I don’t want pity. I just wanted to tell you. Some backstory, ya know.” She said and pushed hair away from her forehead. Adrian tried to look less sad as he went to paint her face again but it wasn’t working. “Stop being sad.” Nova said with determination. “No. That was a sad story.” He said and pouted extra hard. “Hmmm, will a kiss make it better?” Nova said as she leaned towards him. He perked up. “Actually,” Adrian said and smiled. Nova laughed and pressed her lips to Adrian’s. They shared a small kiss before they pulled back and Adrian continued to paint her cheeks. When Dana and Narcissa arrived they were talking about the days events and holding hands. They had started dating a while ago and Dana had invited her girlfriend to join them on the float today. She was explaining how after the parade they would all be free to enjoy the festivities and stalls the Narcissa when they arrived next to the float. “Hey.” Dana smiled and sat on the edge of the float. “Good morning.” Narcissa supplied as she leaned next to her girlfriend. “Hi!” Adrian smiled as he finished painting nova’s face. “Hey guys.” Nova said as she turned around to look at them. The group held a steady conversation even as Ruby and Oscar joined until the council stood on their own float and announced that the parade was gonna start soon so they had to get on their floats to prepare. Ruby, who was wearing a trans flag as a cape, climbed up and held her hand out to Nova with a smile. “This is gonna be so fun!” She said as Nova climbed up with her. “I ave no doubts about that.” She said as the others made their way onto the float.
The sun was hot, but Nova could barely feel it over the vast amount of happiness and excitement she felt as the floats made their way down the street. People waved and called out to them as they waved and smiled. Their float had a built in speaker and was playing various songs the council had approved. Some little kids on the sidewalks danced along as they passed, the sight making Nova smile. Ruby and her were on the middle podium, swaying and singing along to the music with smiled. Oscar was tossing out rainbow bead necklaces while Dana and Narcissa were crouched on the edge of the float talking to a girl who was walking along the sidewalk, she looked to be about 13/14 years old and seemed absolutely infatuated with the two girls holding hands. Adrian was on the back of the float, tossing out the rainbow renegades pins he’d made the night before. It was fun, Nova was having the most fun she had ever had and she was being herself while doing so. She didn’t have to hide in an alleyway and make sure no one saw her face, she didn’t have to stash away her pride wear before heading home tonight. She didn’t have to pretend anymore. Ruby grabbed both of her hands as an upbeat song started and started to scream the lyrics and jump around. She looked so happy. Nova matched her level of enthusiasm, singing along as Ruby had introduced her to the song that was playing a couple weeks prior. As the song came to a close, Oscar came to join them on the podium, making a joke about how Nova was stealing his girlfriend. Nova and Ruby both laughed, Ruby pulling Nova into a tight side embrace, squishing their cheeks together. “We’re in love, don’t even try to come between us.” Nova laughed and turned to kiss Ruby’s cheek, earning a wild giggle from ruby. Oscar pulled his girlfriend away from Nova and swatted at her like a cat. “No this ones mine, Adrian is down there, go kiss him.” HE made a pouty face as the two girls laughed at him. Nova eventually let herself down to stand with Adrian fro the last two blocks of the parade. He smiled at her as she stood next to him, a group of fan girls going wild at the sight of them together. Nova let how weird it was slip as she wasn’t ready to let it ruin her mood. The two of them smiled and waved all the people around them while talking about Adrian’s previous experiences the the parade. Nova laughed along with his stories and putting in her input where it was needed. As the float came to a stop at a street near the park where the stalls and activities were placed, the group hoped off their float and stood by the entrance, Nova’s excitement bubbled up inside her. “You look excited.” Dana smiled at her. “I’m overflowing with positive emotions.” Nova whispered. “Then lets go!” Ruby yelled, leading thier charge into the festivities.
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tag muns you want to know better; repost - don’t reblog.
What inspired you to try/create that muse/s:
well , if you’ve been with me long enough then you know that tooru started out as an AU ! o.ikawa t.ooru, where instead of attending s.eijou , he went to s.hiratorizawa ! to be honest , i kind of just wanted to try my hand at writing that kind of thing ? it was the very first time i had made a tumblr rp blog , so i had no idea that people rp different verses of the same character on one blog !! i originally rp’d on deviantart , and it was very commonplace to have different blogs for different verses ... i had over 70 rp blogs on there and most of them were literally the same 2 characters but in different AUs LMAO ... so imagine my surprise when i saw people rp’ing different AUs on one blog ... RP’ing multiple muses on one blog ... !! but i kinda just stayed with my iteration instead of playing canon ! kawa anyway , since i didn’t really see the point in starting over .
as tooru developed more , though , i began to use him as a venting tool because this was a part of my life where i was really depressed . but as time grew on and i eventually made him into an OC , he became a much happier character . he really is my best friend ; he’s been there for me through it all , and even though he’s just fictional , i really owe him a lot for helping me out during rough times .
What is inspiration for that muse/s:
well , currently , a lot of things ... lots of music , japanese culture + religion , and also my own experiences . in general , i have a p.interest board for him , so ... maybe you could say i draw inspiration from that , too ! i also rly enjoy the band MILI . their songs really fit tooru , like ‘ bathtub mermaid ’ . i’ve also been listening to hello , again and am planning on drawing something based on it for him ( + the song’s prequel , “ goodbye ” ) . i mainly tend to daydream while listening to songs , so ... yeah .
as for characters who serve as inspiration for tooru ... well , i think that’s an artist meme , so i might just fill it in in lieu of answering this properly lol ... but two i can think of off the top of my head are leon from f.ire e.mblem e.choes and n.eferpitou from h.xh !
Thread/AU that made you really happy:
B.NHA AU ... !! i’m hyperfixating sm on that one ... idk , a lot of planning and plotting goes into it , esp since a lot of my mutuals are in the fandom . in particular , i love love love the story i’ve created with @noquirk . i literally cannot envision a more perfect plot for tooru in this verse . heck , it’s literally my main go - to timeline when i draw / write for it . tooru is , quite literally , not very much in this AU without deck .
Something really special on your wishlist:
sh ... more ships ... ships to draw and animate and make animatics to ... also i need to get my butt into gear and finish my JRPG AU group lol .
Something you are looking for in short future for your muse:
blease tooru help me get thru the school year ... also i have some animatics in the back burner so i’m looking forward to getting those done !
Share something related to your muse!:
his canon story , in parallel motion , deals with existentialism and alternate universes . ultimately , it’s a story that serves as a physical manifestation of my own struggle with depression , and while it’s sombre in tone , i want it to tell whoever’s reading it , “ you matter . ” it’s why tooru is placed into so many marginalized groups ; he’s fat and trans and biracial and bi and suffers from bpd + depression + anxiety but he’s a good person through it all ... his story is tragic because he’s not allowed to exist and will be forgotten when he dies , but his existence impacts so many other characters’ lives ... it’s a butterfly effect kind of thing . because you exist , you’ve made so many peoples’ lives better . and i understand it’s rough and i understand depression + sucky real life aspects try to convince you otherwise , but just ... think about it . there’s an alternate universe where , because you don’t exist , something huge was probably impacted . and even on a smaller , more intimate scale --- if you hadn’t existed in another life , then one of your friends might not be here . they might not be as happy as they are now , because you make them happy . life can be awful . but it’s wonderful and beautiful , too . that’s what i want tooru to be to others . someone to look up to and relate to , and someone who tells you , “ it’s okay ! ”
What do you think about character’s design/how do you came up with this:
he’s ... kinda generic LOL mainly cause he’s based off of o.ikawa looks - wise due to his origin ... but part of his looks also derivate from an old ask blog muse i had :
i just really like that bangs - over - one - eye hairstyle ngl ... also i have no idea how / when his hair became maroon - brown since o.ikawa’s hair is chestnut brown , but ... yeah . also have no idea when he gained red eyes HDKJSFS,,,, i find fangs appealing on a character though , so that’s why he has fangs and does the :3c ... honestly i think i kinda just slapped together what i like in a design and put it on him , so even though he may look like an NPC ( lol ) , he’s still appealing in my eyes .
What your muse taught you:
how to love being alive ... ( i’ve actually written an essay for a class about how he’s helped me through depression haha ... he means a lot to me , can you tell ? )
What is roleplay for you:
all of you are awful and yet here i am anyway so really this says more about me than anything else .
Just say something nice about other mun!:
@onfaith you are my ANGEL you mean sm to me and i wish u all the best with your studies / @tikkvn i love u sm cass ur an amazing person n a wonderful existence never forget that / @juuheart notay is my fave bleach chara also ur art is so cute / @wuvlite if i die all my money goes to u so u can keep drawing holy SHIZ ur art is #inspiration / @queznak ur very interesting and charismatic as a person !!! / @uzvisen idk how to spell ur url this took me 3 tries but also ilysm / @conhnhaketon i also cant spell ur url but i hope ur doing well n ur eid was good , ik we’ve both been busy but i would live for u / @quirkthief ur one of my fave ppl i will forever tag u in shibes also i’ve supported u in u saying afo was hot even when he looked ugly n now i get to watch everyone who made fun of u writhe bc he is rly rly hot hahaha / @noquirk you’re so talented pls never stop what ur doing / @aerve you’re rly cool !!! 100% support u in everything u do ! >:0 / @starbooms aries ur so creative ugh ... ur mind !!!!!! ik we don’t talk much but ur v fun / @bendsair i forget what other blogs ur on but chris ur the coolest #TalkRomania2Me / @creatied we don’t talk much either but ur graphics r so aesthetically appealing wowzers !! / @daimnas i’m wuv you amari !! also my french sucks but uhhh comment ca va ( i’m too lazy to find the accented ‘c’ dsfhi ) ?? / @soarsun i’ve only known u for a few weeks but if anything happened to u i would kill everyone on this website n then myself / @quirkgifter nanners is the coolest n nana is the best grandma in town / @natsutodoroki im so jealous u got a canon url as ur rp url LMAO but also ur rly cool n fun even tho we dont talk too frequently ! / @lechors LINNEA I WILL DIE FOR U RIGHT HERE RIGHT N--- / @ YOU READING THIS BC I’M ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP : YOU’RE AWESOME AND GREAT !
Tagged by: stole it from @queznak
Tagging: whomstever
#no formatting im heading 2 bed bye bye shkfjs#long post /#long post#meme .#what’s up —– i’m ru ‚ i’m 19 ‚ and i never h*ckin’ learned how to read . / ooc.
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hi! :) music anon here - i just read your reply and pls give me allllll the (gay) music recs!!
this is gonna be a long list anon pls buckle up. also note that im not gonna link anything bc theres a lot but all of these songs are on youtube/spotify
🌈 xylo’s super gay, super incoherent music rec list 🌈
the basics / the popular ones
troye sivan. i know. I KNOW. half the playlist was already him but listen ive been a troye fan since he put out happy little pill & let me tell u all his songs have such a VIBE. blue neighborhood???? an iconic album. got me thru my last 2 years of high school. to this DAY i cannot listen to suburbia without thinking about driving to watch the sunrise on my first day of senior year w my best friend, sitting in the parking lot in her car n holding hands over the center console bc we were so scared of growing up. he just EVOKES that kind of MOOD u know??
listen to: fools–– talk me down–– heaven
frank ocean !!!! a bi ICON. i waited so long for new music n he blessed us with TWO ALBUMS. not only is his music spectacular and literally lyrically genius (”see both sides like chanel?? c on both sides like chanel???“ as a metaphor for bisexuality???? BEAUTIFUL. INCREDIBLE. LITERALLY AMAZING.) but he also just has sUCH an aesthetic.
listen to: thinkin bout you if ur feelin soft; ivy ––chanel–– nights if u want his newer stuff
lesbian jesus herself hayley kiyoko. anon. ANON. listen to me when i tell u that her music will change ur life. she is so RELATABLE and her songs are SO CATCHY. the girls like girls music video single handedly raised my gpa and cleared my acne.
listen to: everything uhh girls like girls–– palace–– gravel to the tempo
kehlani. im literally so obsessed. shes again another #bi icon. her gf is really cute. im in luv w her. sweetsexysavage is her latest album n its honestly??? driving my life force???? her voice is also just so lush & smooth while also bein slightly gravely in a way that makes me blush in public a lot like how can i be so gay for just her voice??? shes also just so charming n has the cutest smile and, again, i’m gay
listen to: honey is my fav song bc it reminds me of my gf (AGAIN: IM GAY) but distraction is v cute n flirty n a longtime fav. listen to in my feelings if ur ex is awful. also: keep on –– piece of mind –– the way feat. chance are all really good. just listen to her entire discography honestly
DODIE. ive been a dodie fan since i, a repressed baby gay, stumbled upon “she” on youtube and was filled with such immense love that i immediately stanned and here we are, 2 EPs later. nothing more relatable than pining for ur str8 best friend. pls listen to “she” it literally kickstarted my gay awakening
listen to: ill say it again, she –– also sick of losing soulmates–– her cover of somebody else by the 1975
against me. i dont know if ur into punk anon but even if ur not, consider checking out against me. lead singer laura jane grace is a super badass trans woman & trans dysphoria blues is an album with. suCH EMOTION.
listen to: black me out , a song to plan a revolution to. im here, im queer, im angry and its a midterm election year #registertovote
lesser known artists + singles + lgbtq+ artists that i know but am not a big fan of under the cut
let me go by tunde olaniran. i regularly cried listening to this song after a break up. if u wanna be emotional n gay this is a good one.
somebody loves you by betty who. ok not specifically gay (i dont think???) but it was used in a rlly cute gay marriage proposal (look it up on youtube im begging i guarantee u will be smiling for the rest of the day) and they are. ALWAYS. playing this one at pride. a bop.
boyfriend by tegan and sara. ok i know theyre technically popular but no one talks about their last album and boyfriend is a good song ok?? ok.
jenny by studio killers. another song about pining after ur best friend. can u tell i went THRU SOME STUFF in high school
ok aGAIN i know that halsey is also technically mainstream but i didnt wanna write a whole paragraph about her. listen to strangers feat. lauren jauregui. #unpopularopinion but her last album was just “ok” dont @ me
HEART ATTACK BY LOONA. do u like k pop??? do u like gay girls???? do u like cute music videos???? my friend do i have the song for u
mary lambert. she did the hook in that macklemore song. pls listen to her other stuff its so good n soft n “i cant think straight / im so gay / sometimes i cry the whole day” #relataBLE
everyone knows who sam smith is right?? anyway prayers is good. his entire last album is honestly so good but hes not a particular fav of mine.
elton john. a LEGEND. he’s like 150 years old but im hoping the sheer love of the gay community will keep him alive for another 150 years
ANGEL HAZE. ive been a long time fan. v emotional n the lyrics r heavy but honestly?? so important??? one of my fav rap artists
i know a place by muna. i listened to this on the way to pride n almost cried in front of my mom, my friends, and an entire BART station full of pride goers. its a v upbeat song, im just emotional
zolita. uhh not a big fan tbh, just not my musical style
girls/girls/boys by p!atd. ok also not technically gay (?? maybe??? there are some Bi Rumors but thats not my place to say) but anyways def a bi anthem. dont watch the music video its very “lets have two girls kiss for views” which is like. not the msg of the song but whatever i aired my salt about that in 2013 n im not going back now
idk what kina grannis’s sexuality is (again, not my business) but she does a lot of good covers and never changes pronouns. i like sweater weather and shut up and dance with me a lot.
oh !! ben j pierce !! 2 v good songs about how gender roles r bullshit n heteronormativity is awful. hes also like my exact age n i luv his makeup tutorials.
there are honestly so many more. also a lot im forgetting. im so sorry you had to read thru this long incoherent post w my awful typing
anyway if u want my full gay playlist on spotify just msg me off anon and ill give u a link (this goes for anyone btw !!) im currently adding + taking things out n its a constant work in progress but u know, its at least not the same 8 songs over and over again (no shade at 8tracks tho….ha …)
#xylo speaks#sick beats#anon#ask#i know tumblr will mess up n put this in the tags of all these artists#im sorry in advanced#the only reason im not putting slashes thru all their names#is bc this post is hard enough to read already#sorry!!! dont mind me!!!!#this is btw not including songs that are like#gay but not really ??#gay bops by straight artists i mean#so like#example: its raining men by the weather girls#also these are all pretty modern#but dont think im missing out on george michael#im a big 80s fan#and ever since i came out my mom has been aggressively suggesting gay 80s music#in an attempt to relate#its sweet#but also means my playlists are all either#1980s synth or 2017 edm#and no in between#Anonymous#its 4 am btw#i swear im an adult w a functioning sleep schedule#this really is a mess im so sorry#i went back to schedule this for earlier since i forgot to change my time oopsie doopsie
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compilation of bts/army tweets i retweeted but doesn’t actually appear on my profile (TWITTER WHY)
TEXT POSTS:
Namgi are actual prodigies, how did bang pd just casually pick em up like that
ARMYs give BTS amazing promo but it only works cause...
And just in case anyone doesn't know, we call K-army "diamonds" because...
namjoon: i made espresso!! jungkook: i wanna try it namjoon: u hate bitter coffee
seokjin couldnt give less of a shit!!!!
Hoseok is Rock Lee
We have faves that are so willing to educate themselves...
I actually adore the final verses of The Last so much.
Hobi’s pseudo-triple entendres
why is this something i feel like rap line does in the studio
the funniest part of this run ep was when taehyung said...
BTS teletubbies @ MBC Gayo 2017
every update this year
top three betrayals are bighit not releasing tony montana feat jimin...
When I first began to fully get into BTS, I had a pretty jaded view...
Dear BTS 2013, its ARMY 2018.
MY DNA
*Yoongi's dating rumour*
this episode (run ep. 46) was so full of innuendos
fake trans on jin’s supposed feelings about the SIN separation
whoever is directing run should be reigned as the nation's hero...
What do you call a company that surpassed and outsold the big3?
bts are the definition of hyping ppl up for doing the bare minimum
an actual conversation that happened (run bts ep 46)
suran suga again and army
So I suddenly remember when Namjoon said these during Wings Tour The Final...
She was pushed by another members of staff while doing namjoon’s makeup
I WAS IN THE SHOWER BLASTING BTS AND ONCE I GOT OUT...
to the female staff who consoled jimin and keeps saying “you didn't mess up”...
they went from pardon to what was that
What happened at the first two episodes just made me respect Namjoon more.
on a serious note, it would be nice if when bts gets a special someone...
Next time during BTS concert, instead of screaming “encore encore”...
yall ever wanna think about how namjoon said that jimin needs lots of love and attention and thats probably why he shared a room with hoseok bc thats what exactly hoseok gives him
if I have any feeling towards BTS thats stronger than Love then it's RESPECT
the reason Jin was going on and on with his (R)evolution (E)volution (D)rop in the ocean thing might be because he was "hinting" at Youtube Red
one day, there will be a last...
namjoon came to post a selfie and left with a dating scandal
remember when hobi said “i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for bangtan”...
Namjoon admitting that he’s also “just a kid” ...
"The reason I make music is because, after all, I am also afraid of the world."
Yoongi's scalp is braver than any US marine
Sometimes we forget that Namjoon is also just trying to figure out the world.
PUMA fansign: thank you for making music that changes the world
Everyone has a musical preference & enjoy when their artists reflect that.
let me talk about taehyung and how amazing he is as a friend
i like when seokjin shares stuff about his childhood, we get to know his orijin
BTS is also for redefining masculinity (hiphop is their way of life)
from humble beginnings to legends
burn the stage makes me realize that whenever rm post photos of nature ...
what exactly makes namjoon the sexiest for me ...
the reason seokjin’s chest and shoulders are so wide
Bighit: O! R YU DEAD, 2?
"What's your favourite song currently?"
the mask guy: u didnt bring anything to exchange so i cant help u
namjoons exchange [in the Fake Love Teaser 1] is so funny to me...
here are some of my favourite joon interviews
"How did you join BTS?"
jin: i’ve been doing it for 4 years
I hate it when people say armys have two brain cells like bold of you to think we even have a brain (sarcasm lol)
i’m a new generation anpanman
When the Billboard news was released this morning... (wisha)
interviewer: so what are your goals?
sometimes i still think about how the fanchant of cypher pt4...
"Hoe calm down, my shoe lace is untied"
“itʼs ok, we all found bts when we needed them in our lives the most”
i’m so sorry but it’s fake love
i want to see the world from taehyung’s view
just for youuuu
i love that taehyung is never anything but proud when talking abt the fact that he’s gained weight
i bet taehyung gives the best hugs
Our bomb is like a permanent reminder...
remember when we were like omg hixtape‘s mv gonna have bomb ass choreography lmaooo
no but it's so cute bts call it family pictures and not group pictures??
there's an undeniable sexual energy between yoongi nd every trophy...
bh staff: describe yourself in one word
jin: man, blowjobs sure are a mouthful (incorrect bts quotes)
THREADS:
I came across the Deloitte 2018 Media and Entertainment Industry Outlook
hoseok is one of the best dancers in the industry...
meaning behind whalien 52
KPOP101 LESSON 8: THE MINIMALIST ART OF THE KOREAN BALLAD
getting people flustered is hoseok culture - a thread
MY TOP 10 BTS SONGS (by KommonSense)
an explanation of rap lingo BTS use in their lyrics: a thread
I have some free time so like for an unpopular opinion. (hobybIo)
My Favorite Soft BTS Moments - A Thread! (odie)
Burn The Stage made me feel extremely vulnerable. (Aileen)
as Kings of Korean History [A thread] (KommonSense)
a thread of my favorite bts-related tumblr posts
Why and how the BTS rapline's experience with rap mirrors that of OG rappers
Everytime a BTS member was supportive of the LGBT community in any way
Namjoon (RM) Owning Up to His Mistakes
odie
Bangtan dancing styles thread
hoseok is one of the best dancers in the industry
Sky’s experience as a veteran ARMY
Jimin’s gliding technique (more threads on his dance technique)
analysis of how well DNA is structured as an EDM-pop song
I took a closer look into BTS’ intro Serendipity
Park Jimin is one of the most graceful and beautiful dancers in the industry
ok newbie kpop stans, welcome to history class (fandom shit)
An Introduction for the New, the Confused, and the Curious
BTS introduction thread
Science & literature are intrinsic to understanding how BTS and ARMY
how Singularity choreography coincides with lyrics
WHAT BTS ACTUALLY SAID - A MEGA THREAD
BTS song recommendations based on genres: a thread
rap line’s verses analysis
Mnet Comebackshow (LY:Tear) pre-recording review - THREAD -
"remember when" (BTS edition)
I'm watching a BTS music video and I don't know what the hell is going on, a thread:
LY: TEAR - MUSICAL ANALYSIS.
You know why I never will trust or listen to people who say "I left because of the fandom"
Type out what the bighit intro sounds like
Tyra Banks and her biological sons; a thread:
a thread about how BTS uses their music in their storytelling
for hot100, bts did what fans suggested
"Silly Little Trivia: Literal Choreography" thread for Fake Love
UNDERSTANDING BUniverse
BTS showing LGBT+ representation and support, a thread (this, too)
BTS meets Western standards of “cool” established by 1960s music, particularly rock ethics
BTS’ success: human brand x fan relationship
to celebrate bts festa, here is a thread of army stan twt’s best moments
MEME PICS/VIDS:
Jimin in the Danger mv
save Cook-Jin
Hope as mom : can you even get in any college with these grades?
Namgi & their annoyingly jumpy kids
IM WHEEZING JIN DID IT AGAIN
Everything makes sense noW (spider bite, cooky bite)
when they let you love them
When you need to wake em up
coming soon: Kim Seokjin only wanted a boyfriend
salt baes
EXPECTATION: "We aren't talking about BTS enough!
summary of run bts ep 46
i-armys and k-armys (suga’s ghost patting the clay)
Heaviest objects in the entire universe
"You will witness taehyung and jin fighting"
The battle of the year.
Hangsang with my thug
"Tangina mo," - J-Hope, 2018
choose your mineral water.
We all know... K-ARMYS & I-ARMYS
so who is giving them the candy?
I AM FUCKING DYING LAUGHING AT THEM IGNORING ALL THE KNOCKING IN THIS SCENARIO
I got bored and made ART
remember when namjoon asked for armys to edit him in because he missed the group picture with halsey
me listening to bts album skits
hoseok: hangsang with my thugs || his thugs:
we're finally getting the country comeback we deserve
fixed Jimin’s shots in LY:Tear
jungkook: made before i was born
this is what your food looks like inside the microwave
is this a theory?
is this an invitation?
He returned from the war
avatar Jimin
Yoongi and JK’s muffled convo
im just trying to take a nice screenshot....
ah yes, the four elements: fire, earth, water and snickers
Tyra Banks: The BTS ARMY is devoted and crazy (in a good way!) xD
BTS [MV] - You Will Never Do a Live Alone
the nation's #1 producer & bts' hype man
namjoon: you. me?
jungkook when he first met joon
fierce lil meow meow
RM spinebreaker???
this looks like rap line were a group of friends who stuck together...
V was written all along in Jimin’s tweet lol
jwimin-ssi
Hangs out with Tyra Banks ONCE...
learn the alphabet with BTS
TRANS:
When Bighit said they’ll donate 3% of LY album sales, u guys mocked us...
Kim Seokjin strange points
k-netz’ reaction on the Suga-Suran dating scandal
"Can bangtan fans please not get swayed by rumors?”
BTS trainer instagram re:B.T.S.
Music critic Kim, Youngdae nim’s MINI REVIEW on “Face Yourself”
Music critic Kim, Youngdae nim’s MINI REVIEW on “Euphoria”
bang pd and namjoon about his post supporting macklemore's song 'same love'
Konkuk uni student who became Seokjin's fan after speaking with him
I'm a multi-fan, I watch and listen to many idols, but I'm truly scared of BTS
an older woman(non-celebrity) admitted how much she loved BTS
So many warm teas in this article wrote by producer/musician Seiji Kameda
#LOVE_YOURSELF_轉_Tear Album HYYH Notes Translation Thread
180518 Love Yourself 轉 Tear - Thanks To Translations
“The lyrics in BTS’ album are so great Huge congrats to receiving at BBMA ”
response to #1 Billboard 200
BTS 2018 Festa Member’s profiles
VIDS:
KBS Happy Together 3 - Spring Day sung in karaoke room
imagine being this close to sunshine
Ashes - Lim Jeong Hee ft. BTS (2011)
kook's carelessness brought out his sunshine laugh just like that
Remember when bts proved to armys that they are all really spiderman
that time the cameraman was filming bts and jungkook started telling him...
i still get so soft over this the way jin hugged taehyung...
Seokjin killed it in this part in boy in luv
the sound of their footsteps is so satisfying omg
Remember when Jin and Ken met on a year end event rehearsal and they just...
Jungkook’s ‘yes’ and smile when Miri jumped through his arms...
seokjin and his interactions with camera men
Remember when Yoongi & Namjoon sang the high notes in Young Forever...
look at the difference between taekook and jinkook’s handshake lmao
this dance break has a special place in my heart :')
remember when Taehyung accidentally cut his real hair...
Nver forget that iris stevenson was the first one to believe in taehyung...
did yall notice that fdjghgd i’m shaking (run ep 46)
To remember the great SiN/YoonJin moment...
the wings era might be over but this snippet of each member’s solo songs...
Yes, Mom. This man right here. I love him. No more questions?
this is the best video of jin to ever exist
here’s jungkook having fun dancing to mama and lie
slush ft. jin
tell me why is it so funny that yoongi only opened 1/10 of his door n went back so fast
nothing but respect for my choreography leader
when jungkook opened the window well aware that it was raining
what makes you laugh? seokjin’s face
Bringing this back when taehyung was dancing nae nae...
SOMEBODY GIVE THIS BABY BLANKET AND BED...
i love this performance so fucking much!!!!
your ultimate mood booster (hobiiii)
HOLY SHIT MIN FUCKING YOONGI DID THAT
susko sobra ung bucket hats
THE WAY YOONGI AND HOSEOK SAY "RM" TOGETHER
remember when seokjin and hoseok were recognized by fans in america
jungkook imitated namjoon's finger heart and wink in a cute way
A compilation loop of Hoseok sneezing because it’s cute. Bless you!!
remember when jimin was hyping about their concert but hoseok
Hoseok left the group during Trainee days
heres 12 seconds of yoongi doing That Scream™ ...
this is what happens when you openly listen to bts without prejudice
when i say i want a rock song, i want THIS.
When Jungkook couldn’t pronounce Army bomb because of his Busan accent
U kno the thing joon does when he finds something?
reminding all of you that the special talent yoongi prepared is... imitating a doorbell
Here's a compilation of musicians getting shook by the sudden change to major in Jimin's 'Lie'
He actually blew a kiss how adorable
The fanboying level on this video is just
Hoseok doing background vocals/harmonising in Let Go (??)
...namjoon literally gets amused at the toy which blows a ball in the air...
NAMJOON DROPPED THE MIC HE WAS HOLDING AND JIN...
Lie rough instrumental
rough draft of Autumn Leaves, Young Forever, Wings (RM), Wings (JK)
Joon’s voice in the BBMA nomination teaser
Jin's reaction when I (sky) told him I brought him a present...
why BTS was nominated for BB TSA 2018
taehyung was fighting back his tears when they won TSA at 2017 BBMAs
Yoongi forgot his lines in Ma City and he just...
mannequin Tae
Bangtan ended ALL fashion weeks tonight !! (4th muster japan)
members cheering jimin up, wings tour macao
RM’s ending ment, Wings Tour the finale (Day 2?)
never forget bts' iconic reaction when they won their first daesang
When Jin was bowing, Jimin held him down and Jungkook immediately ran to sit in front of him.
jimin and seokjin debating whether dolphins could breathe underwater
look at tae's reaction when bang pd's voice broke
interviewer: what?
“DonT FiGht, Dont Fight!” :(((
RM: “we want to focus on our career”
Q: what's your favorite thing about yourself? yoongi: ᶤ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᵖᵘᵖᵖʸ
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW JOON TRIED TO DO THE LIL DISNEY WAND THING WITH HIS FINGER IM HURTING
jungkook’s closeups
BTS with Ciara at the BBMAs 2018
don’t ever forget that seokjin is one hell of a snowboarder
“the reason why bts, who was not supported by big agencies, succeeded, is that they tried to read the world and to breathe [with the world] together”
this is what happens when u leave namjoon and jimin alone together
this video of seokjin being hype then instantly stops when his manager look at him will never be not funny
LMFAOOO WAIT TAEHYUNG AND NEYO WERE JAMMING TOGETHER
An exclusive interview with #BTS ! (MBC News)
i love this version of airplane pt. 2 so much (jk+jm part) (jimin mode~) yt link full
john cena getting asked whats his favorite song off love yourself tear
The female staff who video tapes BTS bangtan bombs is amazing
WHAT THE FUCK JUNGKOOK LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE SEOKJIN...
Q: Please say something to international ARMYs
awake (short harp cover)
airplane pt. 2 dance cover
compilation of yoongi stuff in raps
wHY IS JUNGKOOK LIKE THIS
the way he said "what's your name?" and shouted "michelle!"
full vid of the two links above
#ISeoulU bts vid 2015
Tyra Bank’s music vid for Fake Love
vmin in sync is scary
fake love original choreo
jungkook said ‘mic drop!’ after he stepped on the wire and made the mic fall
tae acting in euphoria
puppy jungkook is still the most ᵘʷᵘ :(
hobi jk mirror dance with finger heart (mcountdown)
ONEW WAS THROWING CONFETTI AT TAE PLEASE THATS SO CUTE
Look how Jiminie gave the trophy to Yoongi cuz baby boy knows
tae: so show me army: i’ll show you~ {music core)
minho and tae hugging (music core)
tae’s aegyo in board game run ep
look at taehyung acting all cute in the back
when seokjin goes like (•3•) its the cutest thing ever
wow jimin was that an accident
YOONGI REALLY IMITATED HIM IM SKFJDJ
What 시 (si; hour) is it?
SUGA: honestly, I rlly liked pro-wrestling
a fancam of taehyung spilling his water on his face
ARMY giving hobi a flower with his face on it (fansign) (180603)
BTS: *on their way to a very serious interview on one of Korea's biggest news channels*
yoonkok instant hug BV S1
sunud-sunod na aegyo in anpanman outfits
jungkook pulled off straps and threw down two straps then taejin picked them up
legends say this is the closest rep of how hoseok looks in real life
Kihyun really had the courage to throw confetti in yoongi's face tho
52 year-old man is a director of a company in Japan dancing DNA
I stan a king of fan service he's so adorable!
when taehyung was fake crying and jimin came & softly hugged him from behind
this or that game
jk imitating his hyungs (180607 fansign)
HOW UNSEE THIS IM LAUGHINF SO HARD shkhhh (awake)
biggest mystery in kpop - who's collecting who in the background??? (taejin?)
SEOKJIN ENDED THE PERFORMANCE DOING A FINGER HEART... 180607
hopekook's modified mirror dance 180607 mcountdown
jk reacting to ariana grande bbmas 2018
Look a joonie :( look at him go :(
REMEMBER WHEN HOSEOK SAID HE WAS CLINGY WITH YOONGI (BV2)...
noona fan giving hobi and jimin “allowance”
namjoon drunk-tweeting?
carbonara
LOOK AT LIL MEOW MEOW GO (basketball)
look at jimin’s reaction when a noona gave him a finger heart
they had to throw the yellow cloth at the finish of the performance...
OTHER PICS:
tae being so accepting in star king ;w;
i may be not here since 2013, but im still lucky to witnessed yeontan's lil growth
remember when bangtan was running late for their show...
NAMJOON’S REPLY TO THE SELCA JIN POSTED OF HIM...
hobi and his hearts
ep 1& 2 of B.T.S. has at least cleared up 2 main issues in this fandom
RM has a little #WednesdayWisdom from Burn The Stage.
This photo is a complete mess.
yoongi’s kind of humor is my favorite
Their biggest dream isn’t to break records, its to stay together for a long time.
They recorded their interviews for the documentary when they did Gayo track 15
what jimin said here was really interesting and great
the most powerful twins
They decided not to blur these faces of people who's behind BTS’ success.
BTS calls their staff with nicknames, noona or hyung...
it really went from edits to jungkook actually saying it
IM CRYING BIGHIT PAID FOR YOONGIS TUITON :((
LMFAO at none of them even touching the salad
tae’s uneven eyelids
when jin got allowance from his dad to buy steak...
LOOK AT YOONGI RUN SJDNDNDNDN
give me a better photo transition I'll wait #euphoria
love yourself 起 wonder (2018)
jin being peymous even pre-debut
THIS STILL GOTTA BE THE FUNNIEST THING JOON HAS EVER SAID
the most remarkable twins in history
a turkish tv show asked for ppl to send in pics w their siblings and someone sent in jin and jimin
taehyung’s a legend that listens to music on his laptop on the go
onigiri yoongi
MY MOTHER CAME INTO MY ROOM AND ASKED IF JIMIN IS MY BOYFRIEND
jung hoseok aka the king of mirror selcas
Tiny bestfriends vmin who have been inseparable since kindergarten AU
old bts pics I still can't believe exist: a thread
yoongi at namjoon's graduation (w/ hoseok)
I COMBINED TAEGI'S PICS TOGETHER AND OH MY GOD SJSB
"i put sticker on my carrier" yeah ryt
oh nothing just seokjin casually putting his LG G7 ThinQ at his jacket pocket
He show his flower uwu
taehyung accidentally becoming a meme on diplo's snapchat
Never forget Jungkook's Hongdae adventures
THANKS JIN for not killing jungkook
liam’s post of namjoon :D
that one time namjoon tweeted a picture of them with the caption of “we are all fools”
A 59-year-old friend of mine talking about Love Yourself:Tear
I was worried because I thought yoongi kept doing some kind of gang sign but--
This has to be the best reaction to a non-fan of BTS...
when you are sitting beside BTS but mcflurry ice cream is life
why is this exactly what all of their mixtapes sound like
dispatch - yoongi, fake love
taehyung’s chubby cheeks when he smiles
taehyung and his tea
OMFGGMFM LOOK AT Tyra Banks when boys went up for their award she’s a whole Mood I love her
BTS FESTA 2018 prediction
carry him again, jin
I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA CLOWN HIM
top10 mistranslations betrayal
Yoongi doing ᵗʰᵃᵗ smile
wide open yoongi
brigada eskwela stairs album art
jin flower petals (fansign)
namjoon vs svt jihoon
yoongi continuing his lil meow meow agenda
These two cuties just melted my whole heart (tae and tanie)
So... are we gonna talk about how they drew one stickman thicker than the rest
Low key promoted BTS the past 3 weeks in our hospital...
The exact same cat, same plant & same island taken 1 year apart. (ARMYSelca)
yoongi bunched up(?)
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his name....is not finn.
at like 2:40 a.m. i meet a guy on grindr. this guy hits on me in the typically angry and abrasive fashion i have designed my profile to solicit from men of a certain variety, and so we get to talking then wind up on camera, me expecting the same shit as usual....in between midnight meeting with strange men in unknown and unsafe places, i get my need to self destruct and overcome the mind numbing boredom of sociopathic lack of fear satisfied by getting even more men off over the internet on camera... and then, last night happened.
his name, is not finn.
its robert. but he gies by finn. finn has four les pauls, recording machines...the works an entire worling fucking studio. lives in middle tennesse but has been to atlanta many times bc HE ACTUALLY PLAYS MUSIC MIDTOWN EVERY YEAR SINCE 2013 im watching the shit behind him on camera, the house hes in, the guitars on the walls, the records hanging around the cords and amps and pedals... and hes alone. he lives alone, its his place. FINN IS 23. thats all. 23. he got into it all, along with a little band that came from Knoxville tennessee in 2009 named 10 Years...who if u follow rock, u have to know. this is a massivelt succsesfull mainstream alternative rock act. one of my favorite bands.
so here we are.
its five a.m. were still talking, not fucking.
about music and art and finns ideas on sexuality not being real.
odd for someone whos telling me they wanna grudge fuck me bc i have extintential philosophers words tattoos up my arm, and then jump from a well worded rape fanatasy back to intellectual artistic expresssionary approach debate and metjod, use, deploymwnt methods and how they more prolifically provide correct walls of sound they assail the sensations of emotions in pattern sufficient to stimulate a response.
and were talking, then its almost six.
finn has to leave for "work" soon.
hes recording one of the three bands he plays in this a.m.
here i am, on cam talking like were actually getting to know, and enjoy knowing who each other are, with this man
a sound engineer for 10 Years touring company.
Actually. what the actual fuck is happening right now.
he looks like youd expect, having seen these guys on t.v and all, hes tall...6'1 not super tall but taller.
hes stocky and has bushy curly short hair and a clean face, complete with black shirts, wrist bands, leather vest/whatever material that is... the typical rock guy look. and youngish. p young looking yeah.
and i could see it all his house was fucking unreal the shit in that house, the music, drum sets . bass processors, computers studio monitors mic stands... and just i forgot about itnall speaking to him for three and a half hours bc he thinks so fucking different from anyone ive met before him. completely challanges every basic assumption of society that he can.
but then has the self discipline to make this all happen by his age. has the real world common sence, the extraverted thinking to handle the nessesary tedium that makes it possible for this creative energy to become something, and be used and marketed and produce a way to live for himself.
he confounds me sideways. these two opposite people, one part myself, one part my opposite???
i almost tell myself he wants it worse then i do, but thats not it, it cant be it. id die for it.
i would do anything. id give anything, go anywhere, crawl to china. id lose anything, live anything, repeat this entire awful miserable unbearable horrific life ive had three times for it.
id do anything anything id go to the ends of the earth id forsake anyone, id suffer any loss to get just a moment of chance
a moment a single opportunity is all id need and i would light a fucking fire so large it would blind everyone involved.
so yeah i want this sound in my head out, and onto an album just as bad as him or anyone so its not that he wants it worse.
so what then? why is this kid able to be me, and then some...and also not be me enough to actually be living the life he is already?
is it bc its not real? is that it? make me feel better. tell me that i am valid since im tragic enough to
have this incredible talent and yet at the same time have it come from something inside so FUCKED that having it means never being known, never heard, never shine bright like the fact of my creative passion could, and be unlived, then die never having spoken to the world like i should have could have would have
bc im valid so. bc im better. make me feel better. tell me its bc i am REALLY fucked. not pretend fucked for the sake of fashion in rock. not forced or mimiced or copied. and thats what he is right bc if not he wouldnt be well enough to make this happen.
but then, i know its a lie.
i wanna believe it, but i know its a lie. a beautiful, perfect lie. bc i know if i got the part out of the way that cripples me, id still have the rest to write from and create from. and still be capable of what i have been since birth.
so...im lazy? am i lazy? internally, mentally lazy? like or just for aomeone who loves to take pride in their pain, am unable to take the pain of change inside that facilitates the construction of a life like finns... what is it? do i just watch finn now and wait for a secret thats never coming?
I HAVE A DREAM. A NIGHTMARE. ALL MY LIFE I HAVE HAD IT OVER AND OVER. IN IT I AM 70 YEARS OLD , THO ILL NEVER REALLY MAKE IT TO THAT AGE, THE IDEA REMAINS THAT MY LIFE HAS COME AND GONE AND IM GREY AND WRINKLED AND LIEING DOWN AS I GASP FOR BREATH AND THEN I SEE AROUND MY BODY FROM ABOVE
im alone. poor. broke. in beggars clothes. in the gutter, in the filthy city streets, in the cold in winter. im that homeless decay you pass for the smell and then i die there. and thats it. thats what i let happen. i let this go on unti, i ran out of time to change it, and i never did a rhing. never made it, never finally got the shit insode out, never began to burn bright, never started playing live, never recorded, never anything. the thing inside i have that i alone see the magnitude of, and would only have ever really shown to anyone through true sucsess, it never MEANT A F U C K I N G T H I N G A T A L L
now in this mornings call with finn, i begin to see that dream take shape in my reality. soon. its creeping with an slythe above its shoulder just behind me. im here alone like this. deluding myself that this little computer screen is somehow a substitute for a real relationship, delluding myself that i actually am this sad imaginary projection i want to be lercieved as in this fake little digital world. making due with this as if its even happening for real . as of anyone or any idea on this small machine in my lap is life, or love, or me, or actual.
but here where my body is, where i cant take a good picture of me to hide my age, where my personality disorders are, where i am weird and different , where i am an addict, where i am unconventional and do things others wont want near them bcmof the risk i bring to myself, where my body is. my real body .... here there is not a fucking person with or like me. i have some temporary help as i stumble foolishly through my fucked circumstamce from my family, that ofc is going aay everyday, as that nightmare i mentioned begins to take shape. bc they gonna die before me unless i take my death into my oen hands and then that nightmare i have will have shaped fully and begin looking me in the eyes.
so, here i am. 10 a.m.
fuck this guy.
hes sexy, he wants me, and hes my type as in in another life serious boyfriend material . no kids, no phobics, trans or homo, no issues seeing me as who i am, and then also my creative and intellectual counterpart. and hes not very far like a w hour drive. and alllllllll so it makes it feel odd bc he seems like the worst thing for me, that only this situation would develope the addition of feelings have no room for amidst my chaos... i need to be LESS in romance with ppl not fucking MORE... or have someone else establish those feelings for me either just either way..bad idea. and so fuck him
mean it fuck this guy.
fuck this finn, robert whatever and fuck his life
fuck his guitars.
like i needed this shit? i needed to see this? needed to know him? or to have him that, weird weird convo for that long ...the longest ive spoken to someone new in years at once , and not even wind up wanting me for a nut before he got off the vam etc... just fuck this shit.
but not that it seems like that with him, im a combo of not romantic at all, and already emotionally spoken for HARDCORE by aomeone i am trying and fightimg with all i can to stop, STOP being romantically attached to.. so.. no new fucked romance crap for me please. i mention it bc it seems like what happens to me usially, and for no other reason then that.
but as for what i am SURE OF WITH FINN..for tnat... F U C K him
reminding me that im more then shit, reminding me that im throwing away things thousands of people never get to have or would kil, to be able to do like i can. remininding me that im more then this 4 a.m. methamphetamine induced desperate attempt to distract myself from throwing myself away, and relive the pain again, once more, one ,ore gimme one more time always...always need one more sex session where i live out how my father never loved or accepted or appreciated me in my own head again, and keep that defining pain in Clear FUCKING FOCUS FOREVER. KEEP IT HERE. KEEP THAT PAIN HERE. RIGHT IN MY ARMS, CRADLE IT, CLOSE TO MY CHEST, CLOSE TO MY HEART , EMBRACE FEED NURTURE IT GROW IT, LET ITS POISON VINES GROW INTO MY SKIN AND FEED ME FILTH HAPPILY, always one more man, one more moment of disrespect, one more instamce of debasing myself to remind me why i ket myself almost die in a hospital last winter, why ill be sleeping in the cold wind again before spring, and why ill never walk right again or run at all. why im this old and sti,, here, remind me why im trapped by my that talent im so thoughtlessly wasting daily, and...
finn reminds me. fuck him.
he reminds me im doing it , in at least part, by choice.
he takes my excuse away. takes away my escape.
lies, inside lies, inside lies..... finn shows up at 3 a.m. when ur only awake to do things like throw away potential of this magnitude and destroy your human body.
invades my momemt of distraction from the truth of how responsible i really am for this now, and reminds me that
its still out there. the chance i wanted, the opportunity to get the music out and realize that potential ratner then become that 25 year nightmare i have in my future currently...
tne hope, the possibility, the chance to burn finally
burn bright like a star, and shine so hard i can be seen for miles and miles by millions of people
its stil, out there.
fuck finn. i didnt need to remember that.
bc i am what i predict, i am what i know i will do. i am what i will and i dont have that other thing he does. common sense, extraverted thinking, strength to rid myself the demons so i can at least get it going. i dont have it, and im to terrified to let go the crutch ive found that gets me by with the maniac mind i carry and endure. i am not him, and i can not gather the strength to face the world without my crutch so i can then rise to the talent i toss in the trash more each day. i wont even consider it. its all ive got here. its all ive found through all this bullshit life thats made it even half way tolerable. and weather for my own better, weather i be to weak to sacrafice, weather i be to cowardice to dare to even attempt, or be to patnetic to for once FOR ONE TIME TAKE SOME PAIN FOR MY BENEFIT RATHER THEN MY DESTRUCTION.... even if its all true and i am very very responsible for how this hapoens here...
its ok.
bc that just makes me real right? and ive got that. and ill have it now, the rest of the way, to finish the ride,
all of the ride. ill have it. the truth, il. have that i was so cursed and gifted by the same thing that it overcame itself in me
and il. have that genuine authenticity, il. have that close as i finish this ride. the rest of the way.
all of the way.
all the
FuCkINg wAy DOWN
down down down down the only place im gonna go
and il. see finn from underneath, and everyone else who heard of or knew me from below
where i will burn in hell
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I ASK EVERYTHING FROM ANGEL TO WOBBLY
COMING RIGHT UP
♡ cute asks ♡
angel; do you have a nickname?
G!
awe; how old are you?
21
baby; favorite color?
purple
bloop; spirit animal?
i know what youre trying to do bug
blossom; favorite book/movie/song?
my favourite movie today is always be my maybe. do yourself a favor and watch keanu reeves act his heart out
blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?
lucky, a little white tiger. i still have her.
breeze; most precious childhood memory?
maybe my mom making me tea or something. ow ow nostalgia
bright; mermaids or fairies?
fairies
bubbles; do you have a best friend?
YEAH
buttercup; showers or baths?
showers
butterfly; dream destination?
maybe ... the countryside, but one i havent been to before?
buttons; are you religious or spiritual?
yes, very. while feeling at war with it all the time cause of the gay angst. but lbr. i prayed for some coffee and i got some. i also pray when some real shit is happening. its just my nature. i have a very strong intuition when im not panicking. TOO BAD MY PARENTS DISHED OUT TONS OF SPIRITUAL ABUSE I CANT REALLY HEAL FROM
calm; favorite scent?
this candle that has vanilla in it. i like the smell of vanilla because it smells sweet and im like. !!!! kindness!!!
candlelight; what did you dream about last night?
i dreamed my siblings were all bickering and blaming each other endlessly and saying cruel things, and i was trying to tell them to stop but my voice was hoarse and no one could hear me. the voice part makes more sense when you consider i lost my voice talking lots at the Job and ive been Way too worried about it and its also a Passing thing
charming; have you ever been in love?
yes... overrated
cozy; eye/hair color?
red hair green eyes
cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?
the afternoon when i can take a walk with some coffee and music or, faceplant on my bed and fall asleep on the spot and then wake up feeling very well napped
cupcake; favorite flower/plant?
i really like bonsais. or ... whatever type of bonsai i keep buying. they grow fast so you can notice their progress, they can survive bad mental health weeks, and you can shape them, they kind of grow with you
cute; what did you get on your last birthday?
i .... forget a lot. i forget these kinds of things. i hope it doesnt mean it didnt matter to me. i remember being really lonely on my last birthday and pretending not to be and then crying to my diary that no one is allowed to read
cutie pie; most precious item you own?
any bonsai, any jacket, thats my soul. or my phone lol
cutsie; what makes you happy?
people saying small nice things
daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.
just the other day when i was starting to play stardew valley again and i had some tea i think...
daydream; how do you want to be remembered?
i want to have been Known as more than just shy and polite
daylight; favorite album of all time?
idk of all time, but say you will by fleetwood mac FUCKS, i will destroy my ears on public transit with that
dear; zodiac sign?
sagittarius
delightful; concerts or museums?
?????? N/A unfortunately
dimples; have you ever written a letter?
yes, i have written all sorts of letters, not snail mail but yknow... that is my jam. i have used it for good and evil
dobby; dream job?
writer of , books or screenplays or something
doll; how do you like to dress?
behold my array of gay jackets. hoods... gay layers... with some flowers. i have some shit with flowers on it. an old man complimented me on a train once. because im amazing
dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?
my roommates say theres a ghost dude downstairs but ive never seen him. not really actually.
dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?
no, and ive thought about a tattoo but im like... i cant imagine picking a decoration and then being satisfied with it for the rest of my life, and being so... open like that, i change my mind and worry too much...
drizzle; do you believe in aliens?
yes bitch. theres water on mars im sitting here patiently
euphoric; talk about someone you love.
the demigirl reading this
fairy; do you have a pet?
no :(
fluffy; ocean or mountain?
mountain... no ocean.. im feeling ocean
forever; where do you feel time stop?
i havent felt like that in a looong time. maybe this one place with streams, when its raining really heavily and everythings Gushing
froglet; are you a good plant owner?
i have kept... 5 bonsais alive for a while.
garden; how many languages do you know?
one. with some rocky french that makes me ACTUALLY want to learn french, and then frustratingly be on the brink of speaking french
gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?
i cant find the name right now but they make this pixel art and put sentences that are kinda so gentle and pining... i love it
giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?
homemade coffee in a messy kitchen with some sun coming in, youre kind of sleepy
glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?
yes!!! i wanna talk!!!!!
glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself
ok... i know how to be Respectful, im a strong person, im good with self-expression, i like my voice... AND IM CUTE
heart; silk or lace?
silk
honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?
coffee, so much sugar and a bit of scream.
hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?
BIRD WATCHING. because watching people can get awkward real fast, and birds dont give a fuck. birds are fat little boys jumpin around. they dont worry about their jobs. i respect that.
hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?
Harmonious People Noises. i dont actually listen to sounds going to sleep when maybe i should. because of how i grew up im fine listening to music or people playing instruments falling asleep, even with the light on
jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?
that part of autumn where its colourful and not too cold not too hot, and sun everywhere
jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?
i do stuff like take walks and do a few errands and water plants... and just chill and enjoy not having pressing stuff to do.
joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?
i am a serious giggler but i recently got a booming laugh, or it sounds like that to me
kinky; do you blush easily?
no. apparently not. but sometimes i feel my face heat up and then im really, really counting on it that that doesnt mean im blushing because its at the worst possible times to blush
kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?
SOULMATE... SOMEONE I DONT HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO...
kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?
i feel like i already answered this but ill pick a different time. evening is nice because im a night owl and i focus better and i can relax and do whatever
ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?
fleetwood mac and bLAST it on public transit
love; what is your favorite season and why?
autumn, because pretty, haloween
lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?
i dont know about macaron but that cookie dough ice cream is some good
magic; what are five flaws you have?
overthinking, clinging to comfort zone, procrastinating, isolating, either i dont stand up for myself or i do it too harshly
moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?
they all sound so lovely im feeling warm neutrals rn
munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?
emotional labour, similar energy level
paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?
I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH SOMEONE and there has to be food
pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?
doing THIS... all my free time... is basically by myself
precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?
you dont have to be useful to be valuable. you deserve love just because you exist, and even if you feel strongly that everything sucks, that could be your comfort zone talking. im having a mental health week
pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?
cook. id bake but then i eat stuff that doesnt make my stomach as happy
prince; how would you describe your handwriting?
oh its GORGEOUS. i have been practising my handwriting in my Diary for Months.
princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?
yes, piano mostly... ive been feeling Urges to play guitar lately that have surprised me
prinky; how do you relieve stress?
doing something restful/mentally restoring like taking a break or talking calming things to myself
pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?
LOVE THAT ZUCCHINI...F RY THAT BITCH WITH GARLIC AND ONION...
rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?
i have not read a book
roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?
realizing im trans
smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?
ill think of a nice one, moving away from my parents, theres been so much healing
shine; art or music?
MUSIC
shimmer; do animals tend to like you?
yes
smitten; do you collect anything?
bonsais??
smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?
one
snuggle; what is your favourite candy?
chocolate, any,
snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?
phone camera, ithas all these cool filters and things it can do, it says my plants are food
sparkle; do you wear jewelry?
occasionally. its mostly the black tourmaline bracelet
spooky; sunrise or sunset?
sunset, that is the beautifulest
sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?
with headphones. i just ... maybe this is a growing up thing but i cant imagine Taking Up Space playing my music out loud... then other people can judge my music choice... theyd Know things about me...
starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?
save ums. i have this answer ready to go. that is because after five i stopped having a tv
soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.
my rooooooommmmmmmmmm my BED
soothe; digital or vinyl?
digital? what is this about?
squeezed; who do you miss right now?
my sister. she always says i never hang out but ... she doesnt seem interested in things i actually like... she tries and she cares but...
sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?
loyal, honest
sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?
practical, i just cant focus on aesthetic because then i get way too picky with eeeverything
sweet; do you find it easy to open up?
NO, unless i am on tumblr where there are no Laws. or it depends on how easy the person is to talk to.
sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?
yes, yes but NOT RIGHT NOW, i think kids are really Good, theyre simple and honest
thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?
i look up to the Bosses at my work, i mean they seem like they try really hard and do a good job and they have to lead everyone else too i respect that
toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?
the emotional intelligence dial. it is maybe too far. but im realizing that isnt so common.
tootsie; what kind of friend are you?
i hope, at least the kind i would want. probably very energetic, with negative or positive stuff
treasure; what was something that made you smile today?
another person at work called me by my last name. i find this funny because 1) it sounds funny to just shout 2) why are they all so fascinated with it .... yknow its because they wanted it to see if it was ramsay. did they seriously think. bunch of cooking nerds. is this their new power move.
velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?
niGHT OWL
whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?
shapeshifting
whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?
home, but i would enjoy going out with the right people i think. which has never happened.
whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?
no
wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?
tidy
wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?
yes, and no. my heart is set on being Out in the Nature though. i dont know if i can really really go back to where i grew up. theres so many complicated and painful feelings around it, and im not really welcome. 3
wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?
yes, i wish on all kinds of stuff all the time
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Note
For the random asks: 1,12,20,25
Random Asks
1- How tall are you?
Like 5′10″ ish i believe
12- Do you watch a lot of television?
yes but only on netflix or pirated because ads are the worst
20- One wish?
that i did not have to be in michigan rn i am VERY BORED
25- Do you like hugs?
i am very particular about hugs so it really depends on the person
ok remember that post saying i was gonna Lots? now im gonna just. put a cut and see about these numbers on the other ask games bc i can (and any that arent numbers? get numbered now)
STAR TREK CHARACTER ASKS
(1) Kirk - Has someone ever called you overdramatic?
yeah, but only at times when it’s very rude and incorrect to do so (me reacting to a phobia or pointing out that expecting me to pick up my sister’s slack is not okay)
(12) LaForge - What is your dream job?
i think i’ve answered this before? something to do with books i guess
(20) Bashir - Are you an only child?
nope i have 2 sisters - one older one younger
(25) Seven - Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?
introvert. very much so.
Music Asks
1:A song you like with a color in the title
i have spontaneously forgotten every song i know that has a color in the title except for That Green Gentleman by p!atd
12:A song from your preteen years
Me and Milee by All Caps
20:A song that has many meanings to you
solid walls just pretending by 7k
25:A song by an artist no longer living
Lake Shore Drive by Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah
this one doesnt have a name.
1- selfie? no
12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
uhhhhhhhhhh well i’m stuck in michigan rn so. i’ll probably end up being chosen for some cleaning
25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
anyone who can’t is an asshole and a coward
a different ‘cute’ one
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
i dont fuckin’ know
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
in no particular order:
smiles and exits by 7kSuperhero by Simon CurtisThe Choice to be Heard and Not Seen by Paper BeeMajor Tom (Coming Home) by Peter SchillingAutoclave by the Mountain Goats
20. Do you like your neighbors?
bold of you to assume i’ve talked to my neighbors since like 7th gradeok actually on one side they’re pretty chill, on the other they do late night gardening and im not even worried about scary reasons so that says a lot
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
hi. im trans. take a guess.
50 questions you’ve never been asked
1. What's your favorite candle scent?
idk honestly, we never really did scented candles bc most of them give my mom headaches
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
probably Riley, it’s one of my favorite names. but also if i ever have kids i’ll be adopting older kids or teens so uh.
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
uhhh i dont think karate but i know i’ve done some kind of martial art?
25. Is your father bald?
mostly
you wanna find out some personal shit?
1. Any scars?
yes theres one disguised on my knee by the fact that it’s a knee but it’s there, my bike when i was a kid had absurdly bent training wheels and i scraped the fuck out of it and now i don’t like bikes
12. Favorite color?
red!
20. Do you love someone?
hi i lov my friends
25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?
first off - weird thing to put in an ask game? second uhh shit’s kinda ongoing right now and a CERTAIN PERSON can go FUCK HIMSELF
get in my business
1. The meaning behind my url:
it’s a song title! smiles and exits by 7ki wanted a url that wasnt like super fandom specific bc then i feel weird posting other stuff but it’s something that i really enjoy and that if others recognise it it’ll make me really happy
12. Ideas of a perfect date:
20 was height again and 25 was dumb
lgbt+ ask game
1. What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?
mostly call myself queer and trans but i could get really into the labels here, he/him
12. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?
man, i follow a bunch of lgbtq+ authors on twitter and they respond to people, i’ve heard so much. today it’s been people saying shit about representation and about how you shouldnt put it in books unless it’s ~necessary~ and ~relevant~
20. Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?
i think i’ve said before uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is what i said:uhhh…. I think I gotta go with either Sense8 or One Day At A Time! Or if we’re going with “shows with lgbt+ characters” as opposed to “lgbt+ shows” i might have to do exactly what y’all expect and say Star Trek
25. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?
nope. don’t like kids.
ask me!
1. What is your name and does it mean anything?
James. i love star trek. guess where that came from.i use other names online too and most of them are like “hey a webcomic character” etc
12. How did you meet your best friend and why did you become friends?
star trek discord and. star trek.
20. What was the last thing you watched on tv?
i’ve been watchin’ grey’s anatomy
25. Do you wear glasses? If so, how long have you been wearing glasses?
since the summer after 2nd grade
65 questions you arent used to
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
no, if i was imagining all this then SOME PEOPLE would be GONE ALREADY
12. Who told you they loved you last?
don’t know probably some family member
20. What is your best physical attribute?
tol
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
books!!!! i have a cart of $52 of books on book depository right now
get to know me
1. What is you middle name?
i dont have one!
12. What was your last dream about?
i have no idea
20. Are you religious?
not really. it’s complicated. i was raised going to a couple quaker meetings and the more religion based parts of it im not there for but like. a lot of hippies ended up being quakers bc religious exemption from the draft. so now my meeting is like “do no harm take no shit, believe in a god or don’t, let’s go pull some garlic mustard” and i am there for that
25. What color socks are you wearing?
Grey
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