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luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 3 years

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Hey Jealousy – Part One.

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Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Summary: The reader and Charlie grew up together, were the best of friends. It didn’t work well for her having boyfriends until she goes to college. Is her best friend jealous, or is everyone imagining things?

Requested: Yes / No

TW: Swearing, implies sexual intercourse, swearing, drinking Author’s notes: I had a weird dream (non-sexual) about an ex of mine and trying to make Charlie jealous (as you do), and this idea came from that. Whether it makes any sense at all remains to be seen.

Acknowledgements: The gorgeous @dream-a-little-bigger-x listened to me waffle on about this and read through most of it for me. Thank you my love.

Pairing: Fem Reader x Charlie Gillespie (eventually)

Words: 10,076

I have no idea when I’ll be posting Part Two as I am yet to write it... but I was way too impatient to sit on this.

Growing up being the best friend of Charles Gillespie was equal parts the best and worst thing. The best because he was genuinely the nicest guy, ever. He was outgoing, inclusive of everyone, and so much fun to be around. Charlie never sat still, didn’t do well with being bored, so it meant we made a lot of memories together along with our other friends.

The worst because for some reason, being best friends with a guy was off putting to other guys. Hanging out with Charlie ninety percent of the time seemed to prevent them approaching me. Even when I made it obvious I liked them, they seemed too scared to speak to you beyond a ‘hi’ or a ‘how you doin’?’. Charlie never seemed to notice how frustrated I was.

When Charlie moved to Toronto to follow his dreams of becoming an actor, it felt as if I’d lost a limb. I’d known him my entire life, had been friends for the whole time, had gone through all our firsts together, and with him not around, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Admittedly, I was starting college just over the border in the US so there was that to keep me busy, but it wasn’t the same. Moving away from home, not having him with me, laughing at the other freshmen to help relieve my nerves. But I was alone and had no idea what I was doing.

Once I’d found my dorm room, I sat on the bed, surrounded by bags and boxes, and pulled my phone out of my bag. I needed my best friend right now, despite knowing he was probably out at auditions. I pull up my favorite contacts and tap on Charlie’s name, hoping he’ll be able to answer.

“Hey. I only have five minutes. How did the move go? Is your roommate cool? Any guys took your fancy? Have you had a chance to look around yet?” Eventually he stopped asking questions long enough to take a breath, letting me finally cut in to speak.

“Jesus Christ, Gillespie. I know you don’t have long, but do you really need to pepper me with so many questions? Don’t answer that otherwise I’ll never get to say anything.” I take a shaky breath and slowly start answering his questions. By the time I finish filling him on my day so far, he’s grinning at me.

“Sounds great, Trouble. I’m really pleased for you.” I rolled my eyes at his use of the nickname he gave me when we were seven and I punched a boy in the nose for tripping Charlie over and laughing at him cutting his chin on a small rock. “So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

“I have some orientation thing, then I don’t know. Maybe just chill in my room, get to know my roommate when they finally get here.”

“Hey, listen. I gotta go. But I’ll call you when I get back to the apartment so you can tell me more. Especially if your roommate’s pretty.”

“You’re such a fucking horndog, Gillespie. Love you.”

“Love you too, Trouble.”

My ‘don’t call me that’ died on my lips as the call ended and the photo of Charlie and me camping at the Bay of Fundy a couple years back that had been my wallpaper since his sister took it filled the screen. My happiness of speaking to him faded as I realized I was alone, again.

:: ::

I had been at college for three months, and I was almost at the end of my first semester. Charlie was busy with filming a show he’d booked. I knew nothing about 2nd generation, but he was so excited, I couldn’t help but be so happy for him. We spoke most days and texted so much that all my friends thought we were dating. No matter how much I told them we were only friends, no one ever believed me.

The wall above my desk was covered in photos of the two of us and our other friends, and your roommate, Lena, was obsessed with him.

“Honey, if you ain’t tapping that, if he ever comes to visit, I’m stepping up.” She’d told me the first time she looked at a photo of Charlie. Every time the two of us facetimed, and she was in the room with me, she would butt in and flirt outrageously with him. I would laugh at him flirting back, enjoying the fact my two closest friends, one old and one new, got along.

I’d found it easier to settle into college life than I expected without having him with me. Maybe, if I was honest, him not being around was possibly the reason I was finding it easier. As much as I loved him and having him around, having something that was just for me meant something special.

I’d just finished a class and was walking across the quad when my phone rang in my bag, Charlie’s ringtone blared out. He’d picked En Vogue’s Whatta Man when we were about thirteen because ‘Trouble, it just describes me perfectly’. I’d just never got around to changing it, and now it always made me smile whenever I heard it.

“Hey, Trouble.” A groan and an eyeroll. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I just finished my classes for the day. I’m going for coffee with Lena. How’s things over there?”

“Yeah, we’re going strong.” There was a lot of indistinct background noise I couldn’t identify behind him, and it was hard to hear him. He hadn’t facetimed, which was strange, but it was probably a flyby call while he was waiting for a scene to be set up, or whatever actors did. I had no clue despite him telling me multiple times.

“That’s great.” As I walked beside Lena who was making kissy faces at me as Charlie and I spoke, I couldn’t help but smile at hearing his voice. It wasn’t the same as having him with me in person, but it was the best we’d have until Christmas break.

“Look, give me five and call me back. I just gotta speak to someone real quick.” Before I could answer, he cut the call.

“Well, that was the quickest call I’ve ever seen you two have.” Lena commented, a small smile on her face.

“He wants me to call him back in five.” It was typical Charlie, start something, then expect me to finish it.

“I swear, you speak to him more than your family.” She wasn’t wrong.

“He’s kind of like my security blanket. He talks me off the edge whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed and stuff. He’s never judged me for the way I overthink, and he’s so easy to be with.”

“I swear, if I didn’t know better, I would think you’re in love with him.”

“I do love him. He’s like the brother I never wanted and often get frustrated with, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

“Uh huh…” She didn’t need to elaborate. She’d been saying the same thing since our first day. She was insistent that there was more to mine and Charlie’s relationship than there was. I was used to her by now and was able to ignore it now. “You better phone him back.” She reminded me as we neared the campus coffee shop. With a smile, I hit call on his contact.

Behind me, the sound of P!nk’s Trouble, my ringtone on Charlie’s phone rang out. Confusion washed over me as Lena started laughing. I spun round to see Charlie leaning up against a tree, a wide smile on his face.

I cut the call and ran over to him, throwing myself at him. As always, he caught me, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me in tight against his body.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked when he finally placed my feet back on the ground below me.

“I have the weekend off, so I drove down to see my best girl,” he looked at Lena with a smile, “and you, Trouble.” I punched him in the arm as he pulled my roommate into a hug.

“Remind me why I keep you around?” I asked him as the three of us entered the coffee shop.

“Because you adore this pretty face.” I rolled my eyes as we found a table after making our orders.

“You keep telling yourself that, Gillespie.”

:: ::

For the entire weekend, I showed Charlie around the campus and took him to parties. We got wasted, he enjoyed meeting my friends, but my favorite moment was on the Sunday when it was just the two of us, about a half hour outside of town, walking along a hidden trail.

“Trust you to find this place. I never even knew it was here.”

“You need to take more time for yourself, away from campus. Remember what it’s like to just be.”

“Do you get much of a chance to do that?” I asked as we walked, our arms brushing together the way they always did whenever we spent time together.

“Not as much as I like, but I try to get out at least once a week. It’s not the same though, not without you.” I looked up at him and saw a softness to his face not many people got to see.

“I’ve missed you, you big goof.”

“I’ve missed you too, Trouble.”

“You gotta stop calling me that.” I rolled my eyes, making him laugh and nudge at me with his shoulder.

“Never gonna happen, kiddo.”

“Kiddo? For fuck’s sake, Gillespie. You’re like two months older than me. You’re not exactly drawing your pension just yet.”

“It all counts.” He lifted his wrist and looked at his watch. “I better head back to my car and start heading back. I’ve got an early call in the morning.”

My heart sank at his words. I’d known the entire weekend he couldn’t stay forever and as we turned around to walk back the way we came, I felt a feeling of sadness wash over me.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He scolded me.

“Do what?”

“Fold in on yourself. We’ll both be home for Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve just enjoyed having your ugly face around.”

“Ugly? You wound me.”

“Whatever.”

Silence fell over us as we continued walking, and the closer we got to the parking lot, the sadder I became at having to say goodbye to him again. He took hold of my hand, interlinking our fingers the way we always did.

Finally, we reached his car and came to a standstill next to it.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I needed this weekend.”

“I’ll always be there when you need me.” I knew he meant it too. He always did.

“I know. It’s one of the main reasons I adore you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but knew I had to. Knew I had to carry on with this new chapter of my life that didn’t revolve around our friendship, knew he needed to get back to work and forge his way in his chosen career.

“Love you, Trouble.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before pulling away from our hug and unlocking his car. “Gonna miss you.”

“Gonna miss you more. Let me know when you’re back, so I don’t worry.”

“I promise.”

Lena walked to stand beside me as I watched Charlie climb into his car and pull away. We stood and watched him drive away until I couldn’t see his car anymore.

“That boy is in love with you.” I ignored her as I turned to walk back to our dorm. “Just as much as you are with him.”

:: ::

Christmas break had been crazy. My large family and the Gillespie family always mixed for the holiday, and it was always loud, full of laughter, and more than a little raucous. It was my favorite time of the year.

This year was no different, but it was over all too soon, and I barely saw Charlie. He got back home on Christmas Eve, and had to leave again the day after Christmas Day thanks to reshoots and stuff I didn’t really understand. Most of my time had been spent with his sister, Megan, but there was a hole in my celebrations. A Charlie-sized hole.

He didn’t even make it back home for New Year, and I saw in midnight on the back porch of my parent’s house alone, a glass of champagne untouched next to me. I’d tried facetiming him, but my calls had gone unanswered.

Arriving back at college was a relief, and the holiday period had made me realize I’d become so co-dependent on my best friend, I was holding myself back from living my life.

“Hey bitch, how was Mr. Tallish, dark, and gorgeous?” Lena asked as we both unpacked from our vacations.

“Busy. I hardly saw or spoke to him.” I could hear the bitterness in my own voice and hated it, but I also kind of didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, babe. How about we head out to a ‘welcome back’ party, get dressed up, and break some hearts?”

After thinking about it for a split second, I grinned and agreed.

“Fuck it. Why not?”

Usually, campus parties were casual affairs; sweats and tank tops, but the flyers about this one was emblazoned with the words ‘dress to impress’, so Lena and I went all out.

Walking across campus in my favorite LBD and a pair of amazing stiletto pumps, I felt like I could conquer the world. I’d made an effort with my hair and makeup, and when Lena was ready, we’d taken a shit ton of selfies, posting them on Instagram. It was amazing what getting dressed up did for a girl’s self-esteem.

“Honey, when Charlie sees those photos on insta, he’s gonna be calling you like crazy.”

“Well, it’s a shame my phone is on silent in my purse, then. Tonight is for me and you to have a great time.”

“And maybe try and get over one guy with another?”

“Lena, I don’t need to get over Charlie. He’s my best friend, and I adore him. But that’s all it is.”

As we entered the party – in a frat house, naturally – I couldn’t help but be impressed with how dressed up everyone was. I followed Lena through the crowd into the kitchen where we managed to grab some drinks.

“Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. I can only go by what my eyes show me, and there is more going on between you two than either of you want to admit.” I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off. “I’ll shut up now. Let’s go, Momma’s in the mood for dancin’.”

I didn’t see Lena for three days after the party. She’d met some guy and had spent the entire time in his bed. It had been nice to have the room to myself as I caught up with movies and TV shows on Netflix I had missed over the holiday period. By the time classes started back up, she was back and seriously study mode.

“John was asking after you again today.” She told me two weeks back into classes as we walked in the wintery sunshine to get some lunch.

“Oh.” I had no idea who John was, but I was going along with it.

“You don’t remember him, do you?”

“No clue, sorry.”

After gasping, she proceeded to fill me on John. Apparently, I’d danced with him a lot at the frat party. He was six feet tall, well built, but not huge, and had a hint of red hair. None of it was ringing any bells, but seeing as she was sleeping with his roommate, she saw him regularly.

“How can you not remember him? you were all over him.”

“Lena, I’d almost drank my weight in tequila, I would have been impressed if I’d remembered my own name, never mind someone else’s.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket. After tapping on the screen for a couple of minutes, she turned it so I could see.

The guy on screen was gorgeous. Piercing green eyes that reminded me of the forest near my house, and a wide, friendly smile.

“Judging by that reaction, you’d have no problems coming out with us tonight? Nothing heavy, just a few drinks and some food.”

“I wouldn’t be averse to food and drinks.” Laughing at my answer, she linked our arms and steered me into our favorite sandwich bar.

:: ::

The first meeting turned into a first date, then a second, a third, and before I’d even realized, John and I were dating, and it had been three months since that first meeting that I could remember. He was easy going and fun to be around, plus he loved being outside rather than cooped up in a room with another person. Especially when that person was his roommate who was often making out for hours with my roommate. We spent a lot of time on the hidden trail I’d discovered with Charlie, often taking a blanket so we could have a picnic under the lush canopy of trees.

John was a photography major, and never went anywhere without his camera – unless there was going to be alcohol – and my photo wall in my room was soon full of photos of the two of us, of me and Lena, and random things he saw that made him think of me. I had never been tagged in so many photos of me sober on Instagram in my life, and I loved every minute of our time together, but while I was happy, and living my best life there was still something missing. A 5,8” dark haired something.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to Charlie for longer than five minutes, and never mind an actual facetime call. He’d finished up with 2nd Generation and had gone back home for a few weeks. I’d seen photos of him and his family, mostly his cousin Madi, doing the things I would usually be doing with them. Spring break was coming up, and while most of my friends were planning crazy trips down to Florida or Mexico, all I wanted to do was to go home.

“Hey, what are you doing for Spring Break?” I asked John as we lay tangled together in my bed, a sheen of sweat on both of our skin.

“I haven’t made any plans yet, why?”

“Fancy coming to Canada?”

:: ::

Pulling up in the drive outside my parent’s house, I look over at John in the passenger seat. He looked nervous as hell which made me chuckle. I unclipped my belt and leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

“Stop panicking. It’s going to be fine.” I told him. My parents were looking forward to meeting him. “I should be the nervous one. I’ve never brought a guy home before.”

“What? Never? Not even in high school?” I shook my head. “What about your prom date?”

“Me and Charlie went to prom together. We did everything together, and it stopped guys asking me out and stuff. So yeah…” I drifted off, realizing that this was my first relationship, my first boyfriend.

“That’s cool. Come one, let’s get this over with so we can both calm down.” He gave me another kiss before getting out of the car, retrieving our bags from the trunk. By the time I’d got out, he was standing beside me, holding out his hand. I took hold of it and led him to the house.

“Mom, dad? Anyone?” The house was silent when I let us in, John dropping our bags on the floor in the entry. “Hello? Favorite daughter is home for a week.”

“Only daughter you mean.” My younger brother, Tyler came bounding down the stairs, skidding to a stop when he saw John standing next to me.

“Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.” I glared at him. “I mean, I’ve seen photos and shit, but I didn’t expect you to be so big. Nice to meet you, man.” Tyler held out his hand for John to shake, which he did, chuckling at my brother’s lack of brain to mouth filter.

“Ty, where is everyone?”

“Out in the yard. Dad’s cleaning off the barbecue and mom’s making sure he does it right.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Not that I expected it to, but nothing had changed. Tyler took off through the house out into the back yard where my family were waiting.

“Ready for a trial by fire?” I asked John, looking up at him, smiling.

“Best to get it over and done with.”

Turning my whole body so I was fully facing him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“They’re gonna love you, I promise.” I murmured against his plump lips. He took a deep breath, gave me another quick kiss, and untangle me from him.

“Let’s do this.”

Once again, with our hands linked, I led the way, this time through the house I’d grown up in and out into the large back yard. Which was full of people, not just my family. Of course, the Gillespies were here too.

As John and I came to a stop on the ack porch, I cast my eyes across the space before me, looking for Charlie. It was a mixture of habit and wanting to see him, but I couldn’t find him.

“He’s not here.” Megan had jogged over and pulled me into a hug so she could whisper into my ear. Her words caused a wave of sadness to wash over me. “And we finally get to meet this guy who is all over your insta?” She grinned at John; her smile achingly similar to that of her brother.

“John, this is Megan, the little sister I never wanted, but got stuck with anyway.” As the two of the chatted, the three of us moved down into the garden so I could introduce my boyfriend to everyone.

:: ::

John had been stolen away by my dad, Tyler, and Charlie’s dad, leaving me to spend time with my mom. We sat on her favorite garden seat, watching everyone in silence for a few minutes before she turned to me.

“He’s nice. I can see why you like him so much.” I looked at her, waiting. Eventually, I realized she wasn’t going to say it.

“But? I know there’s a but in there somewhere.”

“No, no but.” She was lying, I could tell by the way her voice was at least an octave higher than usual.

“Mom. You can be honest with me, I’m not gonna bite your head off.”

“I just worry you’re rushing things. At college everything so… intense, and you’re constantly aware of it ending, that you’ll be leaving that part of your life behind you one day. What then?”

“I-we-I…” I didn’t have a coherent answer for her. She wasn’t wrong, but she’d also always told me that college was supposed to be the best time of my life, so why wouldn’t I spend it with someone I not only enjoyed being with, but who I was attracted too at the same time?

“Honey, I’m not trying to make you question things, I just want you to remember who you are and what you want in life.”

“Well, I want to be with John for now. Isn’t that enough?”

“If it is for you, it is for me.” She pulled me in for a hug. I loved my mom, but she’d confused me with our conversation. “You do realize your dad’s going to pitch a fit when he realizes you’re sharing a room.”

I stared at her. I’d assumed my parents would make him sleep in the spare room.

“Wait, what?”

“Sweetheart, neither of us are stupid. We know how things are at college, and as long as you’re being safe, I can’t tell you what to do anymore.”

Before I could say anything, Megan came over to pull me away. Arm in arm, we walked to the end of the garden, away from the house. Well, she led me, I merely went along with it.

“What’s up?” I asked her. Usually, she was a lot like her brother, constantly moving and talking, but now she was quiet and subdued. “Meg, seriously. You’re making me worried.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to get you on your own so we can talk about that gorgeous hunk you brought home.” Relief flooded through me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me.” We sat down on an old swing my dad had made when I was a kid and talked. She peppered me with questions about college, the guys, the parties, and most of all, about John. She was a senior in high school and couldn’t wait for her own college experience. She’d chosen to stay in Canada to study.

I answered all of her questions, but we were soon interrupted by our being called to finally get some food. I was starving and practically sprinted over to where my dad was piling food on a table laden with salad, fried, and all kinds of family favorites. As I loaded up my plate, John hovered next to me, doing the same.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in.” Megan’s voice was loud, making me turn my head. Charlie was walking toward us, wearing his hiking gear grinning at us all. I put my plate down and ran at him, our usual greeting.

“Trust you to show when the food’s ready.” I grinned at him as we broke apart and went back to the table to retrieve my plate, pulling it out of Charlie’s reach as he tried to steal a rib. “Get your own, there’s plenty.”

“But we always share, Trouble.” I rolled my eyes.

“Not today, Gillespie. This is all mine, and I may even have seconds.” I stuck my tongue out at him. A throat clearing behind me reminded me John was still with me. “Oh hey, you can finally meet John.”

“Yeah, great to finally meet you, man.” Charlie shook my boyfriend’s hand, his smile still on his face, but I noticed it didn’t completely reach his eyes.

“You too.”

“Well, I’m hungry, catch up later?” As Charlie nodded, I led John away so others could help themselves, over to a table with my parents. Why had that been more awkward than I’d expected? As I sat down, I caught Megan watching me, a strange look on her face.

:: ::

As the sun began to set, and things began to wind down, I decided to take John for a walk around the neighborhood I grew up in. We left the house, hand in hand, and walked along the street, passing Charlie’s house. I averted my eyes from the building, not wanting to make John think my attention wasn’t all on him.

“It’s nice here, very calm.” He commented as we reached the end of the street. “I grew up in the city, and it never got this quiet.” When I looked up at him, he was smiling softly.

“Come on, there’s a great playground just up the road.” I led the way, tugging on his hand as a laugh escaped me.

As we sat on the swings, both of us swaying back and forth as the sun set around us, bathing the sky with a vibrant orange. It was my favorite part of the day, one that made me think back over what had happened and made me realize that a new day was coming, a new chance to experience life. Charlie and I had spent so much time as kids on these very swings at this time, reflecting on choices we’d made throughout the day.

At the thought of my best friend, a slight movement caught my eye. When I looked at the path leading to the gate of the play park, I could see a figure retreating. Despite not being able to see the person’s face, I knew it was him. His shoulders were hunched, and his hands were shoved into the pockets of his shorts. The sound of John’s camera taking photos distracted me and I looked away for a minute. When I looked back, my best friend was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop taking photos of me.” I groaned, knowing he wouldn’t.

“How can I? you’re the most beautiful thing around.” Standing, John walked over to me and took hold of the chains with side of me to still the movement of the swing. He stood between my legs and bent his head and captured my lips in a kiss that started off slow and soft, but soon turned heated.

Letting go of the chains, John managed to lift me off the swing, holding me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. Slowly, he began to walk across the playground, only stopping when he reached the large wooden playhouse I’d played in as a kid.

Putting me on my feet and letting go, he removed the camera from around his neck and placed it in a safe place before climbing into the playhouse, removing his shirt and placing it on the wooden boards. When he looked over at me, his green eyes which were usually the color of spring grass were now the color of a lush, dark forest.

“What? Here? Are you trying to soil my childhood memories?”

“Totally, now come here before I have to take matters into my own hands.” He palmed the bulge in his shorts, locking eyes with me. With a laugh that was huskier than I’d ever sounded, I climbed in after him and straddled his thighs.

:: ::

Waking up at the crack of dawn, wrapped in John’s strong arms, in my childhood bedroom should have felt weird. But it didn’t. I was warm and content, but as we had a busy day planned, I couldn’t stay in our little cocoon. We had a camping trip to get ready for.

I crawled out of his arms and dived into the bathroom for a quick shower. By the time I emerged wrapped in a towel, John was sat up in my bed, scrolling on his phone.

“Come on you, we’re going camping. Up and at ‘em.” I was excited. It had been far too long since I’d been down to Fundy and I couldn’t wait to get on the road.

“Babe, it’s not even 6a.m.” He groaned.

“Yeah, and? Come on. Need to fuel up with a good breakfast.” I pulled on some clothes and left the room, skipping down the stairs. ‘My dad had always been an early riser, so it was no surprise to find him in the kitchen holding a steaming cup of coffee as he read a book at the breakfast bar.

“Morning daddy.” I kissed his cheek as I passed him to get to the coffee pot.

“Morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?” I could hear the unasked question behind his actual question.

“Yes, like a log. Stop worrying about me, I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“Don’t I know it. Please, just tell-”

“Dad. Nothing happened last night. And even if it had, I would be careful. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could have fooled me.” Tyler interrupted us, grinning when I gave him the finger.

“Stop picking on your sister. And you,” he looked at me, “put that finger down.”

I laughed as I sipped at my coffee before telling them I was going out to grab the camping gear.

“I’ll go and make sure Charlie and Megan are up and ready.” Tyle put his own cup down and left the kitchen. I froze on the spot I stood in

Shit. I didn’t realize he’d invited them.

“Everything okay?” Dad asked.

“Yeah, just trying to work out what we need.” I lied before flashing him a quick smile. I could hear John coming downstairs. “Please, no interrogation.” I hissed at my dad. He drew a cross over his heart as my boyfriend entered the kitchen, his hair damp from the shower.

“Morning, sir.” He greeted my dad.

“Please, John. Sir was my father. Call me Frank like everyone else.”

After giving John a quick kiss, I went out to the shed to gather up everything we’d need for a couple of days down in Fundy.

An hour later, Tyler and I had expertly packed up the trunk of my car and were just about to climb in when Charlie and Megan pulled up in Charlie’s car.

“Ready to rock and roll?” He called out of his window, a wide grin on his face.

“You know it. Last one there buys lunch.” I called out our usual challenge as I jumped into the driver’s seat, Tyler urging John in as Charlie pulled away with a screech. Within minutes, the doors were closed, the engine started, and we were on our way.

“Is she always this competitive?” John turned to face my brother in the back seat as I turned the radio on, looking for something to sing along to.

“Only with Charlie, so yes. Constantly. They can make a contest out of everything.” I rolled my eyes.

“No I don’t.”

“Sis, I love you, but you do. You and Charlie are a fucking nightmare at times.”

“You’re talking bullshit.” I tried to change the subject, but Tyler was on a roll.

“Remember that time you two tried to eat more popping candy than the other and you ended up barfing all over yourself?”

“Really? You bring that up? I was fifteen, Ty. And I’d drank about a gallon of soda. It was the gas.”

“Whatever. What about the time when you-” I cut him off.

“That’s enough. Babe, did you go camping much growing up?” I looked at John who had gone quiet. He was looking out of the window, and it took me tapping him on the knee to get his attention.

“Nah, not really. I’m a city boy, so we didn’t really do the whole ‘great outdoors’ thing.”

“Not even on vacation?” Tyler asked.

“Nah, we did Disney and Universal, stuff like that.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat. This is our favorite place on Earth and your camera’s gonna get a good workout.” I smiled at him as I intertwined our fingers as I drove.

:: ::

Thanks to my brother have the bladder the size of a pea and three cans of soda, we arrived at our usual camping ground over half an hour after Charlie and Megan. They’d already set up their tent and were waiting for us as if they didn’t have a care in the world, music drifting softly from the stereo in his car.

“Tyler potty breaks, again?” Charlie asked, laughing.

“He travels back with you.” I grumbled as I opened the trunk and began to drag our gear out. Instantly, Charlie was on his feet, unfolding the tents to put them up with Tyler’s help.

“What do you need me to do?” John asked me.

“Take those coolers of food and drinks over to Megan. She’s always in charge of that stuff, makes sure we don’t live off candy and chips.”

I couldn’t help but watch the muscles in his back as he lifted the two coolers out of the trunk. He wasn’t overly muscly, but his form was impressive. I stood back and admired him for a minute.

“Hey, Trouble. Give me a hand with this. Your brother’s still useless.” Charlie called out.

By the time the tents were all up, one for Tyler, and one for me and John, we were all starving.

“Hey, losers. You owe us lunch.” Charlie called out, giving his sister a high five.

“Let me just get changed, and we’ll go.” In the middle of the camping ground was a café that served some of the best food. I ducked into the tent and changed my shirt and jeans for a bikini top and denim shorts. As I emerged from the small space, I pulled one of Charlie’s old cut off shirts over my head. “Right, let’s go and introduce John to poutine.

“What?”

“Oh, man. It’s the best.” Tyler slapped him on the back as he led the way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie watch as John took hold of my hand.

:: ::

The sun was setting and the five of us were sitting around a campfire. Charlie had his guitar and he and Megan were singing some of their favorite songs. As always, I was blown away by their talent and how well their voices blended together. I’d always been a bit jealous of how musical the Gillespie family was. All of them sang, played instruments, and dance – well Charlie didn’t that well, but he always gave his all when his sister dragged him into it.

John sat next to me, his camera lifted up to his face as he took photo after photo, something he’d been doing all day. He’d told me he’d been blown away by the beauty of the place and that gave me a warm feeling, being able to share one of my favorite places with him.

“Hey, Trouble. Your turn.” Charlie handed me the guitar.

“Not tonight, Gillespie.” I was exhausted and it had been far too long since I’d played or sang. I knew I was never going to sound as good as him and Megan; I rarely did.

“Nope, you’re not getting out of it. Come on, you know you wanna.” He was egging me on, and knew I’d give in eventually.

“Come on, it’s tradition.” Megan joined in with the cajoling as Tyler called out his two cents worth. With a sigh, I took the guitar from Charlie and propped it on my knee.

“Any requests?” I asked.

“Under the Bridge.” The Red Hot Chili Peppers song was one of my favorites and I loved singing it.

“I didn’t know you played.” John sounded surprised.

“Yeah, Charlie taught me a few years ago. It’s been a while though and I’m rusty as hell because I never got my own guitar.” I ran my fingers down the strings before making myself a bit more comfortable. “Hey, you got a spare pick?” I asked Charlie. He reached into the pocket on the front of his soft guitar case before leaning over to hand me the small piece of plastic. I couldn’t help but laugh at the poop emoji design on it. I’d ordered him a bunch of them as part of his birthday present the previous year.

I ran through the song in my mind reminding me of the lyrics and chords before I began to play.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in, the city of angels

Lonely as I am, together we cry

I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion

I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am

She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy

Well, I never worry, now that is a lie

As I expected, Charlie joined in on the bridge, harmonizing with me. We’d always sang this song together. It had become a bit of a tradition at gatherings with our families and friends. As always when we sang together, Charlie and I locked eyes, a small smile on his face made me smile back as we sang. There was a connection between us when we sang, one that had been there from the day we became friends.

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Finally, the song came to an end and silence filled the air around us. Without saying anything, I handed the guitar and pick back to Charlie without looking at him. I leaned over, picked up my bottle of beer, and drained the last of it. For some reason, a weird feeling had come over me while we’d sung, and I didn’t know how to read it. In the end, I decided to ignore it and escape into my tent.

“I’m tired guys. I’m gonna turn in.” As I faked a yawn, I didn’t bother waiting for a response as I stood up, dropped the bottle in a trash bag, gave John a quick kiss, and crawled into my tent. As I stripped out of my hoodie and sweats and crawled into my sleep bag, Megan stuck her head through the flap.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.” It hadn’t really, and she knew it hadn’t. We hadn’t done anything different to what we would normally in Fundy.

“Okay…”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sure. Night.” With a small smile she disappeared from the opening of the tent, leaving me to settle down and try to get to sleep.

I was still wide awake when John crawled into the tent an hour or so later. He tried not to make too much noise as he stripped down to his boxers before getting into his own sleeping bag. The lamp hanging from the tent roof was turned on low, just about lighting up the space around us.

“Hey.” I kept my voice low, knowing from experience how the sound travelled at night.

“Hey.” He repeated as I turned to face him, propping myself up on one elbow.

“Have you had a good day?”

“It’s been great. I can see why you guys love it out here.

“Yeah, it’s great. We’re lucky having all this pretty much on our doorstep. I couldn’t imagine not being able to get out here. I bet you got some great shots.”

“I did. I can’t wait to get back and start editing them. Some should work well for school too.”

“Hey,” I dropped my voice even lower. “Wanna join the bags together and… snuggle?” I waggled my eyebrows at him in the dim lighting, making him smile softly.

“Not tonight. I’m so tired after all the hiking and swimming you guys made me do today.” He turned his head to look at me. “That okay?”

“Of course.” I leaned over and kissed him before getting comfortable again against his solid form. This time, I did fall asleep.

:: ::

When I woke up, the light was bright around me, despite being inside the tent. I was also alone. Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes and crawled out of the tent. John was sitting on his own, a cup of coffee cradled between his hands.

“Morning.” I press a kiss to his cheek as I sit down.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asks, looking at my bare legs. I’m still only in t-shirt I slept in.

“Not at all. It’s not that cold.” I chuckle as I pour myself a coffee. There’s a slight hint of steam in front of my face as I speak.

“It’s freezing, babe.”

“I’m Canadian, remember. This is a gorgeous spring morning.” I lean over and give him another kiss, this time it’s more than a simple and perfunctory peck. John’s hand cups the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. When we pull apart, I notice he’s breathing a little heavier than he was before and it makes me grin.

“You’re crazy.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” Tyler’s voice surprises the both of us. When I turn, he’s standing over us, smirking at me.

“Uh… why am I suddenly nervous?” John asks my brother. They seem to have gotten on really well which pleases me. Tyler tipped me out of my seat before making himself comfortable in my place. Glaring at him, I moved around and sat on John’s lap.

“How are you with heights?” Tyler asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“How do you feel about deep water?”

I knew where this was going, so I decided to go and grab a shower in the shower block. As I ducked into the tent, I heard John exclaim.

“She does what?”

“Yeah, she and Charlie cliff dive.” I turned to look at John and laughed at the look of horror on his face. “It started out as a dare, of course, and now they do it every time we’re here.”

Leaving the two of them talking, I grab my washbag and take a walk over to the block of showers. Thankfully, there isn’t much of a queue and I’m able to snag one pretty quickly. The water’s not exactly hot, which means I don’t dawdle as I wash. Eventually, I emerge fully dressed, a towel wrapped around my hair and almost bump into Charlie.

“Woah, hey. You’re up late.” He commented, steadying me so I wouldn’t fall over.

“Not really.” It was barely 8 a.m., which to Charlie was practically a lie in. “I was up before you.”

“Nope. I was up at sunrise and went for a walk.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course you were.”

“Are you heading back?”

“Yeah, I want to get ready for the cliffs.” I grinned at him. He fell into step beside me, and we walked back to the tents together.

“Remember that time you pushed me before I was ready, and I belly flopped so hard?”

“Oh my God, you screamed like a little girl who got a pony for her birthday. It was hilarious.”

“It also hurt like a fucking bitch.”

Charlie and I approached our tents, laughing to find John, Tyler, and Megan watching us as if we’d lost our minds.

“Who’s ready for the cliffs?” I asked, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. The memory of Charlie screaming lived in my head, rent free, and I couldn’t not laugh about it.

“Uh…” John looked nervous. After throwing my washbag into the tent, I bounced over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie turn his back and crawl into the tent he shared with his sister.

“No need to be nervous. You don’t have to dive if you don’t want to, just stay near the top, take photos, and enjoy the view. It’s all Megan and Ty do, because they’re both massive chickens.” As I spoke, I looked over at my brother who was flipping me off. “Don’t decide now. See how you feel nearer the time.”

Once we were at the cliffs, Megan spread out a blanket and sat down, a book in her hand. Tyler joined her, scrolling through his phone. John and I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down into the ocean. We were nowhere near the top, as over the years we’d worked out this was the best place for jumping into the water without it taking an age to get back, but it was high enough to get my blood pumping.

“Yeah… I think I’ll sit this one out.” Moving back, John joined Tyler and Meghan, but remained standing, his camera at the ready. I moved back a little but stayed fairly close to the edge so I could get ready.

“Gillespie?” I called out my challenge as I stripped out of my shorts and tank tops, kicking my sandals off, revealing a mismatched bikini. Behind me, I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to grin at John, but he had his back to me and was taking photos of the view.

A roar sounded and Charlie ran past me, launching himself off the edge of the cliffs. He ‘battle cry’ could be heard the entire way down until it was broken off by a splash.

With a grin on my face, I followed, dipping myself forward into a dive. I cut through the water, plunging deep before arcing up to break the surface.

“Show off.” Charlie called out as he tread the water.

“Of course. I need to make you look bad at something.” I swam over to him, taking hold of his hand and pulling him back to shore so we could start the climb back to where the others waited. There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the two of us as we made out way, and when we finally reached them, I was out of breath from laughing so much. Charlie’s arm was slung over my shoulder as he struggled to keep himself upright.

“Then you just whipped your top off and jumped.” He was howling with laughter. “That’s why we’ve never given you tequila since.”

I gave him a friendly shove.

“It wasn’t just the tequila, and you know it Gillespie. We hadn’t eaten all day, then you pulled out Jose and it was game over.” He grabbed me around the waits and walked toward the edge, as if he was going to throw me. Admittedly, if he did, it wouldn’t have been the first time. I screamed at him to put me down, hearing my brother and Megan laughing. Eventually, he did as I asked before diving off the edge again, this time executing an almost perfect dive. “Asshole.” I muttered as I grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist.

It wasn’t until I sat down next to him, that I realized John was very quiet and was scrolling through his phone.

:: ::

Arriving back at my house early evening, I was ready for a hot shower and my own bed. Tyler ducked into the house while John and I unloaded the trunk and stored the camping gear back where it belonged. He’d slept for most of the trip back, and I could tell something was bothering him.

After having dinner with my parents, John excused himself to try and get some sleep. It had been a pretty full on couple of days, but not enough to wipe him out. After a few minutes, I decided to go and check on him. I didn’t want him getting sick or something.

When I got to my room, I was surprised to find him packing his stuff into his bag.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He clearly hadn’t expected me to come upstairs and my voice made him jump even though I hadn’t spoken particularly loudly.

“I’m heading back to my dorm.” I moved into my room, closing the door behind me. When I reached up to touch his shoulder, he flinched away from me.

“Woah. Why?”

“Look, I can’t play second best. I really like you, but it’s very clear that your heart lies elsewhere.”

“John, babe. I have no idea what you’re talking about here.” I put my hand on his arm, trying to get him to turn and face me. Eventually he did, sinking onto the edge of my bed.

“Look, we’ve been having fun, right?” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Neither of us expected anything serious, and while I thought I might have been falling for you, the past few days have made me realize you could never feel the same way about me.”

“W-w-what?”

When John looked up at me, meeting my eyes with his gorgeous green ones, there was no sadness in them. There was only what I could describe as an acceptance of some sort. It confused the hell out of me.

“I know you tell everyone he’s your best friend, but it’s obvious to everyone who spends any kind of time with the two of you that you’re both head over heels for the other.”

I couldn’t help it, but I burst out laughing.

“Me and Charlie? No way. You’ve got it all wrong, believe me.”

“See, you say that, and I think on the surface that you believe it, but deep down… I’m a photographer. I literally look at details of the things around me all the time, and there’s no mistaking there’s something going on between the two of you. It’s just taking both of you some time to realize it; although, I think Charlie might be there already. He’s crazy jealous of me.” A snort escaped me before I could stop it. “I’m serious. Whenever we were together the past few days, he either turned his back, walked away, or interrupted us. You may see him as your best friend, but he’s in love with you. And I can’t compete with that.”

Standing back up, John finished packing his stuff, telling me he had a train booked in an hour. Knowing I wasn’t going to change his mind, I offered him a ride to the station, but he refused saying he’d book an uber.

Rather than watch him leave, I went out into the garden and sat on the swing. I’d never had a breakup, so I had nothing to compare it to, but I didn’t feel as sad as I expected to. In the movies, girls lay in their beds for days on end with messy hair and mascara running down their faces until their friends ran an intervention. Yeah, I was sad that John had broken up with me, but it felt like I was losing a friend more than a boyfriend. Even if the reasoning was ludicrous. There was no way on Earth Charlie Gillespie, the guy all the girls wanted, was in love with me. Sure, I knew he loved me – we were best friends, but that was it.

As the sun set around me, I finally made my way inside. I could hear the TV playing in the lounge, but didn’t feel like being pitied by my family, so I made my way up to my bedroom. When I was there, it felt empty without John’s big, solid frame. He’d only been here two days, but he’d made an impression on my space.

Not sure what to do with myself, I sat on my bed, hearing a crinkle. There was an envelope on my pillow.

I’m sorry it ended like this, but you need to know and understand that I don’t hate you – just in case you were wondering. Yeah, I’m upset, but I’m a big boy and I’ll get over it, and when I do, I hope we can still be friends. I honestly love spending time with you, and meeting your family was great.

I know you didn’t believe me when I told you about Charlie, but I hope these prove it to you.

See you soon, John.

Inside the envelopes were a couple of polaroid photos. I’d forgotten he’d brought his along with his big one. We’d all taken turns taking silly shots of one another, shaking them as they developed around the campfire we’d had.

The first was me holding Charlie’s guitar. I was clearly singing, looking at him, but there was something in the way I looked at my best friend. A softness to my face that could only be interpreted as affection – unsurprising, considering how much he meant to me, how much we meant to one another.

The second, was after our first jump at the cliffs. We were walking toward the camera, arms wrapped around one another, laughing. If it was anyone else, I would say it was quite an intimate photo, but it was me and Charlie. We were always like that, always touching, always laughing.

Putting the letter and photos on my desk, I lay back on my bed. I was confused as hell and didn’t know what to think or who to talk to.

As if summoned, my phone began to ring, Lena’s name flashing on the screen. When I answered, she didn’t bother with a greeting.

“So, when are you and pretty boy getting it on?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“John text me, told me what happened, said you might need someone to talk to. He finally saw what I saw.”

“And what did you see?”

“You and Charlie boy. All the feels.”

“Lena, there are no feels. We’re friends, best friends.”

“Honey, I know you’re a bit blind to the fact that that boy is crazy in love with you, probably has been for years, and you…”

“I what?”

“You look at him like he hung the moon. I don’t look at my best friend like that. I know it’s a lot to take in, but think about it, logically. Try to look at your relationship the way an outsider would, then tell me you’re not gonna end up ridiculously happy, living in some gorgeous apartment somewhere, surrounded by gorgeous babies.”

“And what if I come to the realization he’s just my friend?”

“Then I would say you’re blind as fuck. Look, I gotta go, my nanna’s lethal at dominoes, so I gotta make sure she doesn’t cheat. I’ll see you in a few days.” Lena ended the call. I was no clearer on the situation I had been before we’d spoken, but I least I had something to do.

Could everyone be right, and I was wrong? I loved Charlie, adored him, but I wasn’t in love with him. We were friends, the best, and that was all. Wasn’t it? I was pretty sure it was for me.

I needed air. I made my way back downstairs, grabbing my car keys from the side unit and went outside. It was late, but maybe a drive would help. As I unlocked my car, I heard my name being called. Turning, I saw Charlie jogging over to me.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I just need to clear my head.”

“Where’s the big man.” Something flashed in his eyes as he asked about John. I tried not to read too much into it, but if I didn’t know better, it looked like jealousy. I gave myself a mental slap around the back of the head for projecting John and Lena’s words onto myself.

“He left. Went back to campus. We’re over.” Immediately, Charlie’s arms were wrapped around me and I was pulled in tight against his chest. My senses were overwhelmed by the feel of him, the sound of his heartbeat, and the scent of him. It was too much and I pulled away.

“Are you okay? I know you liked him.”

“Yeah, I’m good. It wasn’t that serious.”

“Serious enough to sleep with him.” An undertone of something I couldn’t work out laced his voice.

“Charles. I wasn’t a virgin when I met John. I may not have had any serious relationships, or relationships in any capacity, but I wasn’t innocent. Just the way you’re not, so don’t pull that bullshit with me.”

Boys at high school may have been wary of Charlie, but he wasn’t around at college when I discovered meaningless one night stands weren’t for me.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I’m not. Maybe I should be more upset, but I can’t fake it.”

“You sound upset.” I looked up at him, stepping back slightly to move closer to my car. “I don’t like it when you’re upset, even when you don’t think you are, like that time when-”

“Look, I’m not here for a trip down memory lane. I want to go for a drive. Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.” He turned to walk away an I pulled open the driver’s side door. Before I could sink into the seat, I was spun around. Charlie had hold of my wrist in one hand, but it was a gentle hold. He slammed the door and walked toward me. Nerves took over me and I back away from him, my back hitting the car behind me.

When he let go of my wrist, he placed his hands either side of me, resting against the cool metal of my car. Swallowing, I locked eyes with him, feeling very unsure of myself. I opened my mouth to ask him what was happening but didn’t manage the words before he crashed his lips against mine.

Tagging:

@dream-a-little-bigger-x @calamitykaty @crybabyddl @morganayennefertyrell @lovesanimals @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @echocharm17618 @kinda-really-lost @n0wornever @all-in-fangirl @kcd15 @charliesmountains @amazinggracy @happinessinthedarkesttimes @xplrreylo @5sosmukefan

#Mich writes fic #charlie x reader #charlie gillespie fic

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all-you-need-is-paul-mccartney · 3 years

Text

Across the Universe II (Paul McCartney x Female!Reader)

Find Part One Here

A/N: I just checked chapter 1 and I literally put it up over a year ago. Shit. I just wrote a part 2, and finally got ahold of a computer to post it. I hope you's enjoy it. my last chapter had like... 20 likes altogether, so hopefully this chapter will draw some readers in.

Summary: Paul makes it to the Princeton campus where he not only reunites with his cousin Vick, but he meets a fellow stoner named Max. From there, the boys indulge in some Ivy League Hospitality.

WARNINGS: Drinking, swearing, smoking psychoactive substances (Cannabis), just dumb college guys doing dumb college shit. also, it's probably got mistakes bc I suck at revising

This is just a statement clearing up that none of these characters are mine except for Vick. Everyone else belongs to those who were involved in and/or collaborated with Julie Taymor in making the Across The Universe film (2007)

I'll rate this one a T seeing as the substance use isn't THAT bad.

"Vick Hoffner?"

"Try across the way, man. I think there's a Vick of sorts there."

Paul simply nodded at the stranger before turning on his heel and making a beeline to the next apartment, his hands fiddling with his useless book of contacts.

What was the point of giving me your number if you won't even pick up the phone?

He sighed, and rubbed his eyes tiredly with the palm of his hand. He'd been hitchhiking for two days just to get to the Princeton Campus, and then a few hours going through the closest rented apartments to locate him.

This was apartment number 9.

And it was nearing one AM.

Paul rapped weakly at the door, silently concluding that this would be the last place to check before finding somewhere to sleep until the next morning.

The door swung open, and Paul was face-to-face with this college kid who seemed to be about his age. He had unkempt blonde hair that curled around his ears, patchy stubble, and big blue eyes hazed over with the red assault of cannabis in his system.

Despite this, and the nearly empty beer bottle in his hand, the guy looked like he was keeping it together pretty well.

Paul cleared his throat, and raised an eyebrow. "... Vick Hoffner?"

"Nah, man. He's out at the moment gettin' drinks," the guy paused, and looked at Paul for a moment.

"Hey, hold on, you're not... Vick's cousin, are you?"

"Would it be an issue?" Paul asked sarcastically, to which the other guy responded after a laugh, "Nah. I just can't wait for him to get back and find out you got the better looks."

Paul just rolled his eyes, a smile on his lips. "Probably don't matter. He's the brains n' so is me brother. 'S what really matters; though I take pride in this thing." Paul pointed teasingly at his face.

The other guy smiled, pulling two cigarettes from behind his ear. He offered one to Paul, and he claimed the other. He lit the both of their cigs, and they each took a long drag after Paul scanned the apartment hallway for any angry tenants who happened to be against smoking indoors.

"So... does Vick's "pretty boy" cousin have a name?"

Paul nodded like the fact that he had a name was astounding information, but he smiled genuinely before bringing the cigarette back to his lips. "It's Paul."

"Max," The blond shoved his hand out, and the boys shook hands firmly. Max eyed Paul again."Where's that accent from, Paul?"

"Same place as me," Paul answered as he shoved his free hand in his pocket, blowing out smoke a moment after. "Liverpool."

"But why come to America?" Max gestured Paul into the apartment as he spoke, closing the door behind them. "Kill someone? Were you on the run from the cops? FBI?"

"'Sounds like you'd be one to know 'bout all of that." The boys took a seat on the couch in the centre of the room as their cigarettes slowly burned away as they chatted.

"Hey, hey, I've barely ever been in trouble with the cops, but I have pissed off every professor in Princeton, and have broken several campus windows."

" 'nd... you're proud of it?"

"I'm an adrenaline junkie, what can I say? Smashed nearly forty five windows and despite being Princeton's number one vandalidm suspect, I'm still not expelled. Y'know why?" Paul leaned in a little, enough to catch the dank scent of weed, and Max lowered his voice. "... because they can never prove it's me."

" 'nd why is that?"

The answer to Paul's question burst right through the apartment door.

"There's three more of us, and it could be any of them!" One of which, Paul could surprisingly recognize.

"Vick. Long time no see," Paul rose to his feet, and Vick, who'd set a six-pack of beer on the coffee table between them, greeted his cousin with a friendly hug and some "how are you"s.

Despite being an intelligent young man, Paul noticed that Vick behaved a little less like how he used to: polite, conservative, and proper. It was suspected that his behaviour changed because his newfound freedom at Uni allowed him to experience and access things that he would have been otherwise restricted from when he was younger.

Booze was one of them.

Dope was another.

In fact, he wordlessly cracked open a beer for Paul, and handed it to him like he'd asked for a drink in the first place.

Paul wasn't a huge drinker. It was never a vice of his, or anything like that either. He got shitfaced every once in a while for fun.

But when he brought that aluminum can up to his lips, Paul would never have guessed that it would have led to the night it did.

Five minutes after Vick and his buddies returned, Max brought out the roach Paul suspected he was sucking on before he got there.

With enthusiastic cheers from around the room, Max lit the sucker up, took a nice drag from the hot remainders of the joint, and passed it on to Paul.

Paul looked at the roach, almost as if he was confused. No one had asked him if he'd ever smoked before, but Max and the others yelled hurriedly over top of one another, instructing for Paul to suck in quickly and hold the smoke in for as long as he could.

It resulted in a coughing fit, and encouraging pats on the back from the other guys. Vick ended up taking the roach next, and Max reached out across the table.

"Have another one of these, my friend," he slid over another beer after cracking it open just moments before, despite the fact that Paul wasn't quite finished his first drink.

"Y'know, the more you cough, the higher you get? Pretty fucking sick. Like a win-win, man. You don't cough: You're high. You cough: You're super high."

As time went on, and Paul nursed his second drink more responsibly than the first one, things, ironically, started making less and less sense to him.

At one point, he was talking to the guy sitting across from him, and he just stopped talking for a whole ten seconds before turning to Max and asking "what the fuck was I just talking about?"

"Who fucking knows." The blond's shoulders shook as he tried suppressing his laughs, but eventually Paul just burst out into laughs and uncontrollable tears.

And everyone followed suit.

He had absolutely no idea how he got there, or how long he'd been there for, but sitting before Paul were now two empty Tankards. A waitress just set down another to him, and collected the table's empty glasses.

They were in a bar.

Max sat beside Paul as he watched Vick spectate the other two guys play pool.

For the life of him, Paul couldn't remember those guys' names, despite knowing he was told multiple times in the last few hours. To be fair, being drunk and stoned is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to how one forgets another's name. He supposed it didn't exactly matter, anyways.

"So, you got any hot sisters abroad I should know about?" Paul gave Max a funny look but it may have been because it took so long for Paul's brain to register what had been asked.

"... No. Do you?"

"I've got two younger sisters; one's eight, and the older one's a little on the uglier side," though he didn't say it, Max's little smile indicated to Paul that he was joking about the last comment.

Paul and Max watched the boys play pool a little longer until the eight ball was pocketed.

"Wanna play?" Paul's head snapped to his left, and he nodded at Max's offer.

The other guys traded off, and Vick continued spectating. Max made the first break, and Paul watched as the cue ball rolled right into one of the pockets. Well, it seemed to have been only him to notice, because Max's eyes were instead trained on a brunette woman passing the two.

She looked over her shoulder to wink at Max, and rather than gouging his reaction, she simply walked off and took a seat alone in the corner of the bar.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, McCartney?"

"Well, I'm sure that it 'appens all the time. Never 'appened to me, personally."

"You just need to find the right one, my friend.." Max trailed off again, eyes still locked on the bird in the corner. He was slowly inching from the table and toward her. Max eventually just set the cue on the table and completely abandoned their game to talk to this girl, who flashed him a flirty smile with her bright white teeth and painted lips.

Paul watched Max amusedly, taking a swig from his beer and memorizing the moves Max was putting on his lady friend, who was clearly enjoying his company.

Maybe Paul wanted to get better at approaching certain women. He knew how to flirt, and be charming. It's not like he'd never had girlfriends. He'd had his fair share of girls in his teenage years, and he had Molly now back in Liverpool.

But Paul, at this moment, in his crossfaded brain, realized that he didn't want to attract the women he had been anymore. Just from her visual appearance, and how she was reacting to Max's charming flirts, Paul could sense an airiness to her personality. She was always smiling, inching closer, initiating physical contact by nudging his hand with her own, the list goes on.

Hell, even on her happiest days, Molly would be reluctant to kiss Paul, but he'd excuse her behaviour because she was just a regularly bitchy person who hated public displays of affection.

Or hardly any affection at all, it seemed.

Needless to say, Max returned to the table five minutes later with a phone number and a big red lipstick stain on his cheek. So to celebrate, the gang decided to go golfing.

"Here she is, Window Way," Max introduced Paul to the roof of their apartment building. The other boys started giggling at the name "Window Way". Each guy had their own club, Max held a bag of golf balls, and Vick carried another six pack.

Max set his things down and took in the crisp night air as Vick opened yet another beer for each of the boys. Max took a can for him, and one for Paul, and proceeded to show his new buddy just why he called it "Window Way".

"A Driver will send a ball..." Max pointed his arm straight out in front of him, his finger pointing right towards the windows of the Princeton Campus library.

"...Straight towards the school," Paul finished. He turned to look at Max. "You guys do this every night?"

"Paul, I do this all day. I barely go to class anymore."

"Hey, Max! You tee first!" One of the nameless guys called out to them. Max brandished the widest of grins before rushing to grab his club, a ball, and a green tee from his pocket. "Hey, Paulie, wanna help me out by holding my tee up?"

"Well, how'd I do that without gettin' hit?"

The other boys started laughing again, and Paul was genuinely confused until he found himself lying on his back seconds later, and the bottom of the tee between his lips, which only got heavier when Max set the ball down onto it.

If he were sober in this moment, Paul would not have been this comfortable with someone swinging a golf club full force towards his head and then trust their judgement regardless of their in intoxicity that they'd hit their target...

It was a good thing Max had been doing this for a long time, because wow, did that ball ever fly.

Paul watched in stoned disbelief as the ball soared far off into the distance and over the roof of the library. And while no one had seen it, they certainly heard the shatter from the other side of the building.

And that's when all five boys ran away from administration retired back to their room to light up a new joint Vick had also brought home as a surprise. They all sat around and lazily talked to one another about how crazy Max's shot was, and while some of them were falling in and out of sleep, Max insisted they all stay up to watch the sky change colour from the courtyard.

Paul didn't know how he stayed up any longer than he did, but he pulled through like a trooper, and they all watched the sky change as they lay down in the fallen leaves. But as soon as they all came back to their room for a final time, Paul dragged himself in exhaustion to the living room chair to sit, but he just slipped out of it onto the floor, and that's when his body decided to turn off on its own.

The other guys dropped to the ground or onto the furniture like dead flies, and within ten seconds of the door closing, the room was quiet.

And it stayed like that for nearly ten hours.

Paul woke up that evening with a raging headache and multiple trips to the bathroom to be sick, but now three things were certain for him: He definitely had one hell of a time, he definitely wanted to hang out with Max a lot more, and that evening Paul definitely got by with a little help from his new friends.

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A/A/N: alrighty, if this chapter doesn't do too too bad, I'll see about continuing this story. I've got chapter 3 pretty much done as well, I'm just in the midst of revising it. If you want more, by all means, PLEASE let me know!

#across the universe #paul mccartney #the beatles #paul mccartney x reader #macca #george harrison #john lennon #ringo starr

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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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stuonsongs · 3 years

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My Top 10 Favorite Songs of All Time - 2006 Edition

2021 Editor’s Note: I was looking through some old files and found this thing that I wrote sometime in the summer of 2006 at age 22. For all I know, it could’ve been 15 years to the day! Looking back, I’m not sure how many of these songs would still make my top 10. Don’t get me wrong, I still love all of these tunes, but I’m sure you know how it goes - You get older, you get exposed to more things, and your idea of good music expands. Anyway, I thought it might be nice to share with anyone who still uses this site. I present it in its original format without edits to my writing. I ended up writing full posts in this blog about some of these songs if you go through the archive.

Stu’s Top 10 Favorite Songs…Ever

Let’s start with some honorable mentions. These were so close, and I thought about it for so long, but they had to be left off.

Honorable Mentions

All Summer Long – The Beach Boys

All Summer Long. 1964. Capitol

This song has been described so many times as being “the perfect summer song.” When you listen to it, you can’t help but smile from the opening marimba intro, all the way through. It just screams “summer” and it hurt me to leave The Beach Boys off my top 10.

Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World

Bleed American. 2001. Grand Royal

So full of energy, so rocking, and so what would’ve been the most recent song on my list. I wanted to keep it in the top 10 just so I could have a song from the ‘00s, but it wasn’t meant to be. When the chorus kicks in, I can’t help but headbang.

Marie – Randy Newman

Good Old Boys. 1974. Reprise

Randy has said that a lot of young composers pick “Marie” as their favorite Newman song, and I can see why. The idea of a guy having to be drunk to tell his wife that he loves her is pretty funny, and throughout the whole song it’s just the beautiful melody with tons of strings, all to a tune about a guy ripping on himself as he comes home drunk to his wife.

Does He Love You? – Rilo Kiley

More Adventurous. 2004. Brute/Beaute

I guess this is newer than Bleed American, so it would’ve worked too. This is another more recent song that it killed me to leave off the list. The outro is an arrangement of the main tune with a different chord progression performed by a string quartet. Very beautiful. Also when Jenny Lewis screams “Your husband will never leave you, he will never leave you for me,” I get chills every time.

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So here it is. After a long day’s work, I’m finally finished. It actually turned out much different than I was thinking when I first started. The number one wasn’t really even in my top five when I started, but I slowly realized I loved it so much. I also left Ben Folds (Five) off this list completely, and I don’t know, I just feel the whole catalogue of Ben is so solid, none of the songs stick out to me that much. But anyways, here it is! After the break of course…

Stu’s Top 10

10.

(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave – Martha and the Vandellas

Heat Wave. 1963. Motown.

This one beat out “Bleed American” just barely. The reason being that somehow, despite being nearly 40 years older than Bleed American, it still has so much energy that it kills. Dan Bukvich once told our Jazz Arranging class that you can boil all the oldies you hear on the radio down to three categories: 1) Great Song. 2) Great Performance. 3) Great Arrangement. This song is one of the great performances. The handclaps throughout, combined with the driving baritone sax behind everything and constant snare drum action will keep anybody with blood running through their veins dancing all night long.

Bodhisattva – Steely Dan

Countdown to Ecstasy. 1973. MCA

This song is my Freebird. It’s just a basic blues progression song at its core with some minor changes at the end of the form. The real kicker that drives this song home is the three minute guitar solo in the middle that isn’t nearly as rocking as Freebird, but it is highly proficient and takes me to places that just make me want to play the song over and over again. I have no idea what this song is about, probably Buddhism, but hey, this once again proves that lyrics rarely matter and the music itself is the core.

Zanzibar – Billy Joel

52nd Street. 1978. Columbia

This song reminds me of long car rides on vacations down the west coast with my parents growing up. They used to play a tape of 52nd Street, or at least their favorite selections, constantly on these trips. I didn’t hear this song again until early in my senior year in college and remembered why I loved it so much. The song has a heavy jazz influence, displayed in the breakdown where Jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard does a solo. The best part of this song though is at the end of the 4th line of each verse, Billy does this “Woah oh oh!” thing that just makes me want to sing every time. It was between this and “Miami 2017 (Lights Go Out On Broadway)” which is also a great song, but the “Woah oh oh!” is too much for ol’ Stu boy.

Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) – Bruce Springsteen

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. 1973. Columbia

Early Bruce Springsteen records have something that very few other artists can ever pull off without sounding cheesy or forced. It has this undeniable sense of urgency, like the world will fall apart and life will crumble through your fingers if this one moment in time doesn’t work out the way Bruce describes it. There are so many early Springsteen songs that just set a scene of “We have to get out of this town right now girl before it kills us, no matter what any of our parents, friends, anybody has to say.” There’s a line that kinda sums it up: “Well hold on tight, stay up all night ‘cause Rosie I’m comin’ on strong. By the time we meet the morning light, I will hold you in my arms. I know a pretty little place in southern California down San Diego way. There’s a little café where they play guitars all night and all day. You can hear ‘em in the back room strummin’, so hold tight baby ‘cause don’t you know daddy’s comin’.”

I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Songs For Swingin’ Lovers! 1956. Capitol

This song falls into the category of great arrangement. This Cole Porter classic tune was arranged for Sinatra by Nelson Riddle. The story goes that he was still copying down parts for the players while riding in the cab to the recording studio on the day of recording. After the players ran through it once with Frank, they stood up and applauded. The Baritone sax takes control here, outlining a Db6/9 chord throughout the intro. Of course, Frank’s vocal delivery is spot on and goes up and down in all the right places for the biggest emotion impact. It’s amazing how a song with no real chorus can be so good.

A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

Ain’t That Good News. 1964. RCA Victor

This song was not even going to be on this list, but then I ran across it while scouring my collection of music and remembered how good it was. Then I listened to it and was blown away by the level of detail that went into this arrangement. Sam’s vocals soar above the mind blowingly beautiful arrangement. The lyrics to this one actually add to the tune itself, speaking of wrongdoings in the world around him, and how social change is on its way in the form of the civil rights movement. The song flows with such ease out of Cooke that one might forget the weightiness of the content, but the song’s content is just so heavy that it’s impossible to deny it.

Whatever – Oasis

Whatever EP. 1994. Creation

This song was released as a Christmas present to the U.K. from the Gallagher brothers and company. It never appeared on any full album, only being released as a single, and amazingly, it blows away anything else they’ve ever done. Think “All You Need Is Love,” but with tons of rocking energy and a snide, nonchalant attitude. The chorus speaks, “I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I choose and I’ll sing the blues if I want. I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I like, if it’s wrong or right, it’s alright.” Not exactly poetry, and the song isn’t exactly breaking any new ground either, but the song is absolutely perfect in every way, and it was going to be my #1, but perhaps the only reason it’s not at number one is because I’ve played this song so many times that at the moment, these next three are beating it, but who knows how I’ll feel in a few months. This song also pulls the same “outro performed by a string quartet” thing as “Does He Love You?” but even better. It’s so simple, but I can’t get enough of it.

Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra

Out of the Blue. 1977. Jet

This is obviously the best Beatles song that the Beatles never wrote. The staccato guitar during the verse combined with the strings present in just about every ELO song combine to make a force that is undeniably catchy and musically challenging at the same time. This is really what makes ELO so good. I didn’t discover this song till probably Nov. 2005, and it was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t want to include two songs by the same artist in my top 10, but if I did, I probably would’ve added “Turn To Stone” on this list too because it is almost as awesome as this one. It’s a shame that just like Billy Joel, most critics at the time hated ELO for being overly creative musically (they called it pretentiousness). These days we have acts that really are pretentious (see Radiohead), but everyone loves them, even critics. I’m not knocking all Radiohead, just most everything post OK Computer. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

Only In Dreams – Weezer

Weezer. 1994. Geffen

This has been my favorite Weezer song since about a month into me picking up Weezer’s debut album back around early 2000. It has this ostinato (a repeated motif over and over again) in the bass throughout most of the whole song, never even really resolving to the Gb major chord (excluding chorus, which never really resolves) that it wants to until the end of a 3 minute contrapuntal guitar duet when everything dies out except the bass which just retards on its own until it finally plays the single Gb we’ve all been waiting for. The song on the whole up until the guitar duet is pretty tame, but once those contrapuntal guitar lines start intertwining, my ears perk up every time. I can sing both lines at separate times upon request and when the drums finally kick back in fully at the climax of the song, I let out a sigh of relief or bang on my car wheel in exultant joy, whichever is more of an option at the time.

All Is Forgiven – Jellyfish

Spilt Milk. 1993. Charisma

I always loved this song from the first time I heard it, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until maybe April 2006. I found out about Jellyfish first semester of college in the Fall of ’02 and heard this song, and knew it was great. The constant tom-tom driven drums, the fuzzy, almost white noise distorted guitar, and the half time bass throughout. It was great. Then in April I put it on my mp3 player for the walk to school, and then I listened to it for about two weeks straight. Seriously. It runs into the next song entitled “Russian Hill” which is almost as good, but because it’s a separate song, I couldn’t include it on the list, but in my mind, they always run together and are basically one long 9 minute song. The ending just gets more and more white noise filled until you can barely take it anymore and then it just cuts off completely into the slow acoustic intro for Russian Hill. It’s perfect in every way. I think this would fall into the category of great song. And the way the song builds up right to the middle of the song and then cuts out completely except for some very VERY faint xylophone noodling, and then busts back in with some feedback directly into guitar solo. Man I love this song.

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agentdagonet · 4 years

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At The Beginning With You

Welcome to my entry for the 2019 @kingsmansecretsanta! I’ve actually never done this event before, and I’m glad I did so now!

My gift is for the incredibly talented @han-ban-bam who won my heart over with their art when I was curious about their prompt. I hope you enjoy it!

Find it here on AO3

Summary: The Dowager Empress has been searching for her lost son Henry for ten years- but she's lost hope, and is prepared to live out the rest of her days alone, wondering what became of him.

Harry (just Harry) has no idea who he was eleven years ago- and all he has to lead him is a ring he can't remember getting with an inscription inside the band: Together in Paris.

Eggsy and Merlin are looking for the Grand Duke Henry Hart- or at least someone close enough to get the reward money- when Harry falls into their laps.

---

‘Go left they said- well,’ Harry looked at the sign briefly before scoffing, ‘I know what’s on the left. But, if I go right, perhaps…’ He spun the ring on his pinky briefly, a sad smile upon his lips ‘perhaps I’ll find an answer. But that’s ridiculous,’ Harry began to pace, looping his way through the snow and around the sign twice before speaking again, ‘how would I ever make my way to Paris- fuck it; I need a clue, a sign, something- anything! Just… give me a hint that doing this reckless thing is the right one.’

He’d been without his memories for as long as he could remember, no pun intended. He knew that he’d been staying at the Statesman house for ten years with no clue as to who he’d been or where he’d come from. He didn’t have anything from his past- had nothing he could call his own outside of the ring that sat upon his right pinky. Which was plain enough at first glance, but inside the band there was an inscription: Together in Paris.

Harry pulled his coat as close to himself as he could and glared almost accusingly at the sign post, barely noticing the insistent tugging at his pocket- the one that held his scarf. He looked down to find a small dog, scruffy and black, seemingly delighted to have caught his attention. He grasped the end of the scarf in his pocket and tugged a little, and laughed at the tiny growl the dog gave in return. He played tug for a little longer, allowed himself the luxury of happiness for a moment, before he crouched down and pat him on the head.

‘I don’t actually have time to play with you, you know- I’m waiting for something,’ Harry looked back up at the sign, let his eye trail across and follow the snow as it fell, and unknowingly allowed his grip on the scarf to loosen.

‘Excuse me!’ The small dog was dwarfed by the scarf, thin as it was, but he was determined to get away. He paused for all of a breath, tail wagging furiously as he looked back, before bolting down the road and pausing again. ‘Lovely. A dog wants me to go to St. Petersburg- wait,’ Harry glanced back toward the Statesman house, that he knew he wasn’t going back to no matter which path he chose. He looked toward the path he knew well and the predictable future he could have.

He followed the dog.

---

It turned out that getting out of the country was more difficult than he’d assumed. Made infinitely more so by his lack of money and his status as an amnesiac. There were people trying to hawk off goods as having belonged to the long-since deceased Hart’s- somehow the people who had celebrated their deaths now craved their presence.

Humanity was strange.

‘Excuse me, sir- a suggestion?’ Harry looked up from where he was staring at the ground, and looked the young woman who had spoken in the eye with a brow raised. ‘Go see Eggsy- he could probably help you.’

‘What’s an Eggy?’

‘Eggsy, sir,’ she corrected gently, and Harry nodded, ‘and he can help you find a way to Paris- he’s at the old palace, but you didn’t hear it from me!’ As quickly as she had appeared, the woman had folded into the crowd and vanished. He looked down to Mr. Pickle, having named the dog with the intention of keeping him no matter where he ended up, and pressed his lips to the top of his head before standing.

‘Well, why not?’

---

‘I hate to say it, Eggsy, but we’ve run out of men the correct age for this farce to be successful. We’ve wasted the last of our money and have nothing to show for it but this dilapidated ruin to hide in for one night longer.’ There were men in the building, their voices echoed out from somewhere Harry could not make his way to. He allowed himself to wander slowly, his hands trailing across the few things left in the house- some knicknacks, the odd torn bit of tablecloth.

‘This place is- it… feels familiar. Like a dream I don’t remember having.’ Mr. Pickle was running about, sneezing when he stuck his head somewhere particularly dusty, but Harry paid him no mind. He’d tuned out the people talking, one of them being the man he’d even entered the building to find, focused intently on the painting of who he assumed were the deceased royals. There was something about the youngest man in the portrait that had him frozen. He recognised him, somehow, from somewhere; he could feel a phantom grip upon his shoulder, his hair ruffled, a kiss upon his cheek...

‘The fuck ‘re you doing here, bruv?’ The voice came from across the hall, and Harry’s head snapped up to find two men staring- the one with green eyes and light hair had spoken, and the taller bald gentleman was looking at a notebook, a set of spectacles perched atop his head. The younger man looked angry, almost sneering in his direction, so Harry turned and ran for the stairs where Mr. Pickle was lying beneath the massive painting. ‘Hey! Shit, mate, stop we ain’t gonna hurt you!’ That’s what they all say. He’d meant to keep running, but the stairs had winded him, and he paused with one hand bearing his weight against the wall before turning to the sound of approaching footsteps.

‘Apologies-’

‘How did you get in… here…’ The younger man interrupted him, but trailed off, eyes darting between himself and the portrait behind him with something akin to awe. Harry shrugged and sighed, and Mr. Pickle chose that moment to reveal himself by growling from where he was perched upon Harry’s feet.

‘You haven’t answered our question-’ The younger man shushed the bald one, who looked at him as if offended at having been interrupted. The blond man didn’t seem to notice his offence.

‘Do you see what I see, Merlin?’ The younger man, presumably Eggsy, gestured in Harry’s direction.

‘No.’ pushed the glasses down his head, and gestured toward Harry a second time with a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips. ‘Oh, a dog!’

‘Not the dog, Merlin-’

‘Oh- oh- you think-’ Merlin looked excited by whatever they were seeing in him, but Harry was getting impatient. Either let him leave or get on with whatever it was they wanted with him.

‘Are you Eggsy?’

‘Tha’ depends on who’s askin’.’ So it was definitely Eggsy, then, who was approaching him in a decidedly less antagonistic manner than the chase had started with.

‘I’m Harry, and I need travel papers- I was told my someone that you were the one to find, though I couldn’t tell you who told me so.’ As he spoke, Eggsy began to circle him, humming to himself and only vaguely motioning that he had heard him at all. ‘Dare I ask why you’re circling me? Perhaps you were a vulture in a previous life?’ Eggsy jumped a bit in place and looked at him sheepishly

‘Sorry, sorry; it’s just you look an awful lot like-’ he seemed to cut himself off, ‘nevermind, you said you need papers?’ He took in Harry’s dishevelled appearance, his worn eyepatch and fingerless gloves, but didn’t change how he addressed him. ‘What for?’

‘I’d like to go to Paris.’ Harry rubbed his thumb along the band of his ring mindlessly but Eggsy paid him no mind, having turned his attention entirely back to Merlin who was besotted with Mr. Pickle.

‘Paris, eh? Well, lemme ask you somethin’ Harry- there a last name to go with that?’

‘I doubt you’ll believe me, actually, but I haven’t the foggiest as to my last name. I presume I have one, but I was found wandering about ten years ago-’

‘An’ before then, what? You just popped into existence ten years ago?’ Eggsy looked simultaneously hopeful and baffled, and Harry didn’t know what to make of that.

‘I know it sounds ludicrous, but I honestly don’t remember- I have very few memories of my past, and my only real clue to figuring it out is Paris. So,’ Harry shrugged, and forced his thumb from his ring and attempted to look nonchalant. ‘Can you two help me, or shall I off and find another person to forge my existence?’ Eggsy leant toward Merlin and asked for something before turning back to Harry

‘Actually, we was headin’ to Paris ourselves- I got three tickets here, but unfortunately one of ‘em’s for him,’ Eggsy gestured to the portrait, specifically the young man with the brown hair and honey eyes, ‘Henry.’

‘We’re going to reunite the Grand Duke Henry with his mother- she’s been searching for years-’ Merlin came fully up the steps, Mr. Pickle in his arms, and nudged Harry up toward one end of the staircase.

‘You kind of look like ‘him- got his eyes, you know-’

‘Alexandra’s chin and Nicholas’ smile- look,’ Merlin pulled his left hand closer to his face, ‘he even has his father’s hands.’

‘I mean, what’re the chances- right age, the looks-’

‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but are you attempting to tell me that you think I,’ Harry began incredulously, laughing slightly, ‘am Henry?’

‘All I’m gonna say is I’ve seen hundreds of blokes from all over the country ‘nd there ain’t one of ‘em that looks even close to the Harts compared to you. I mean, bruv, look at the paintin’ there!’ Eggsy gestured wildly to a new painting he didn’t bother to look at.

‘I was rather hoping you’d prove my first impression incorrect, but instead now I think the both of you are mad.’

‘Why? You don’ know what happened to you, an’ no one knows what happened to him!’

‘You’re looking for family in Paris, and that happens to be where his only family lives.’ Merlin interjected, one hand rubbing behind Mr. Pickles’ ears idly.

‘You ain’t tellin’ me that you’ve never thought about it?’

‘About what? Being a prince? It’s more than a bit difficult to think of yourself as much of anything when you’re sleeping on a damp floor- but sure, I guess every lonely person has imagined being royalty.’

‘And, somewhere, one lonely man is.’ Merlin rested an arm across his shoulder, a move more familiar than anyone had done in many years, and Eggsy began to walk away.

‘Wish we could help, mate, but tha’ third ticket’s for the Grand Duke Henry so-’ Eggsy pulled Merlin away, and Harry didn’t bother to turn. He stared at the new portrait, this one only of the younger man and a woman he could only assume was his mother bedecked in a finery Harry could scarcely imagine. He couldn’t help but lift a hand to the canvas, as if he could run his fingertips along the silk.

‘Eggsy, can I ask why the fuck you didn’t tell him about our plan when he is the only viable option-’ Eggsy raised a finger to his lips, and lifted the other hand to count down from three. Two. One.

‘Eggsy!’

‘That’s the thing with us common types- we know how to work a crowd, yeah? He’s in the palm of our hands, now- just ‘ad to make it look like his idea.’ Eggsy grinned, he and Merlin having come to a stop at the base of the staircase, and he could hear Harry making his way down the steps at much the same pace he’d gone up them.

‘Eggsy, wait- if I don’t know who I am then… well, then who’s to say whether or not I am a Duke?’

‘Go on,’ Eggsy placed a hand at his chin, and Merlin seemed to be holding something back, but Harry couldn’t help but continue now that he’d begun. If he was going to take hints and chances from the universe, then he was going to do it right.

‘Well, if that turns out not to be true then the Empress would certainly know immediately if that were the case. An honest mistake- what had I to go on but the timing of my injury with the Hart massacre?’

‘Makes sense to me.’ Eggsy nodded, one hand beneath his chin, and Merlin nodded once before speaking.

‘And if you are the Prince then you will finally have some, if not all, of the answers you’ve been looking for. Family and identity.’

‘Merlin’s right, bruv- ‘sides, either way it gets you to Paris, yeah?’ Eggsy smiled and held out a hand, and Harry couldn’t make himself hesitate.

‘Right.’ They clasped hands, though perhaps Harry gripped a bit too hard if Eggsy’s face was anything to go by. ‘Well, Mr. Pickle, seems we’re going to Paris.’

-------

‘Stop messin’ about with your ring and sit up- you’re a Duke, ain’t ya?’ Eggsy didn’t want to let on how much he hated trains- always made him feel a bit sick- and tried to focus on getting Harry to act like the man he was supposed to be. Merlin was sat on the other side of the cabin, fiddling with their travel papers, and Mr. Pickle (seriously? Why would anyone name a dog- nevermind) was sat across from Harry in the other window seat.

‘Eggsy?’ Harry had slouched further into his seat, but seemed to find that just a little too uncomfortable for the ride had sat back up to address him.

‘Yes, Harry?’

‘How is it that you know what royalty is supposed to act like?

‘I make it my business to know.’ Eggsy dodged the question, not allowing himself to think about his mum and sister even after all the years between then and now. Everyone remembered the Hart’s destruction- but they never remembered the bystanders that fell simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. ‘I’m just tryin’ to help, ‘kay?’

‘Indeed�� Do you truly believe me to be royalty?’ His eye was wide and earnest, the brow above the eyepatch raised to match the other, and Eggsy turned fully toward him.

‘You know I do, bruv.’

‘Then stop bossing me around.’ Harry turned bodily back toward the window, pat one leg to beckon Mr. Pickle to sit with him, and seemed to admire the view without a care to Eggsy’s reaction.

Merlin, on the other hand, had been observing the pair of them since they’d left the dilapidated palace and simply made another tally in his notebook. For all that Eggsy was a professional sweet-talker, he was being given the runaround by Harry. Between his cheek and his lack of memory, Harry seemed to have a lack of care when it came to niceties, and it had been a long while since anyone had pushed back when Eggsy pushed them.

They were oblivious, of course, but Merlin wasn’t going to complain about the entertainment their dancing about brought him.

‘Harry, I think we got off on the wrong foot.’ Eggsy rubbed one hand along his jaw as he sat across from Harry, who looked fully engrossed in a book and might not have heard him in the first place.

‘I’d have to agree with you there, my boy- but I appreciate your apology.’ Harry peered over the top of his book for a moment, sincere as you please, and it took a moment for the words to fully sink in.

‘Apology? The fuck said anythin’ about an apology- I was just sayin’-’

‘You needn’t say anything else, Eggsy- in fact, it may actually upset me further.’

‘Guess I’ll keep my trap shut if you will.’

‘Fine.’

‘... Do you think you’ll miss it?’ Harry whispered, face not leaving the window even though his gaze was locked on Eggsy in the reflection.

‘What, you talkin’?’ Eggsy smirked, leant back in his seat carelessly.

‘No, Eggsy- Russia. Do you think you’ll miss Russia?’ Harry turned back toward Eggsy and gestured blandly to the snowscape out the window.

‘Nope.’ He didn’t even have to think about it.

‘But it was your home.’

‘It’s where I lived for a while, but it weren’t home, end of story.’

‘Then you must be thinking of making Paris your true home?’

‘What’s it with you and home, mate? Russia’s a place I lived, ‘nd maybe Paris’ll be the next place I live, what business is it of yours?’

‘It’s something every normal person wants, for one- for another…’ Harry stood and tried to pace, but Eggsy refused to move his legs from where they blocked his path. ‘Oh, forget it. Merlin!’ Harry exclaimed upon seeing the man come through the door, ‘thank goodness it’s you- please remove him from my sight.’

‘Fuck did you do, Eggsy?’

‘Me?!’

---

‘Unfortunate change in circumstance, Eggsy- papers are in red this month.’ Merlin spoke at a level tone, conversational, even as he turned their forged papers around to indicate the blue ink they were made in. ‘I propose we move ourselves to the luggage car before guards come to inspect our papers.’

‘That ain’t gonna do it, guv, y’know that- let’s get off this train.’ Harry was still asleep on the bench, and Eggsy leant over to nudge him awake. ‘Harry? Harry we’ve-’ Harry’s arm shot up and clocked him, and Eggsy fell to the opposite bench clutching his nose as Harry rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

‘My apologies I thought you were someone else- oh, nevermind, it’s just you.’ Harry didn’t smirk, in fact his eye showed a touch of remorse if Eggsy was reading him proper, but he didn’t make any move to help, either.

‘C’mon,’ Eggsy grabbed as many bits of their luggage in one hand before offering the other to Harry, ‘we’ve got to go.’

‘Might I ask where we’re going?’ They made their way down the corridor slowly, and as Merlin and Eggsy settled into the luggage car Harry couldn’t help but nudge the bee’s nest and hide a smile.

‘The baggage car- scenic. There wouldn’t happen to be issues with our papers, would there, maestro?’

‘Course not, Your Grace- just hated making you mingle with them common folk, is all.’ There was a crash, a stack of luggage fell over, and Harry stumbled to the nearest wall. ‘The fuck was that, Merlin?’

‘No idea, but there goes the dining car,’ Merlin looked forlornly out the back window before approaching the door nearest the engine, ‘and it looks as if someone’s set the engine aflame.’ Indeed, there was fire coming from the smokestack.

‘Somethin’ ain’t right,’ Eggsy threw his coat off before jumping from their car to the one spewing fire, ‘stay here- I’m gonna check it out.’

‘I’m not certain there’s anywhere for us to go.’ Harry muttered to himself, glaring down at the bundle of fabric he’d managed to catch, and Merlin nodded in agreement. Luckily for them both Eggsy returned quickly, face flushed and a fair bit of soot on his trousers.

‘There ain’t nobody drivin’ the train- we got to jump.’ Eggsy tugged at Harry’s sleeve, half dragging him to the side of the car and pulling the wall open to reveal a steep drop off the edge of a cliff.

‘Jump, you said? Well I’ll certainly follow your lead on this one.’ Harry’s eye was wide and his face pale with panic, but it seemed that even certain doom couldn’t turn off his sarcasm.

‘Fuck it, we’ll- we’ll uncouple the car, then.’ Merlin dashed toward the fallen luggage and began searching for tools, and Eggsy went to the coupling, going through whatever tools Merlin handed him and cursing each time they broke.

Mr. Pickle began to bark as a box shifted closer to him, likely startled by its size, but Harry began to grin as the shifting light from the fire revealed the box’s contents.

‘Y’sure there ain’t somethin’ better than this in there, guv?’ Eggsy was glaring at the coupling, which didn’t look at all worse for wear from when he’d begun trying to undo it, and didn’t even look up as there was movement from the corner of his eye. He lifted a hand and grabbed what was passed to him, and grinned when he finally brought it fully into view.

‘Yes, Harry,’ Eggsy grinned jamming the stick of dynamite into the mechanics of it before running to the other end of the luggage car to await the earth-shattering kaboom. ‘The fuck taught you that?’

‘No one had to- I was just a bit inspired by the setting.’

‘Eggsy, lad, the brakes are out.’ Merlin was turning at the gear frantically, though his voice gave nothing away, and the flaming engine car was still close enough to send some embers into their car. A box caught fire, and Harry went to smother it out as Eggsy looked frantically about for another option.

‘There’s loads of track still, yeah? We’ll have to slow down eventually!’ Perhaps one of them ought to have knocked on wood, for at that precise moment the car rocked violently, and a glance outside showed that a large bit of track just ahead had collapsed. They all froze for a moment before springing back into motion at a frantic pace.

‘You were saying?’ Harry quipped, trying desperately not to panic in the midst of this life-endangering chaos, but Eggsy paid him no mind.

‘I got an idea- Merlin, gimme a hand.’ Without waiting for an answer, Eggsy pulled some chain to the back of the car, and climbed down toward the gears. He lifted a hand for the chain, eyes fixed on his target, but looked up as he grasped it. ‘Oi, did I ask for Harry?’

‘Merlin’s a bit preoccupied at the moment.’ Harry lowered the chain and instinctively gripped Eggsy’s arm as he lost his balance with a jerk of the car. He pulled the young man up, the two tumbling to the floor of the luggage car in a tangled heap, before watching a bit of the train fly off and slam directly into a tree. ‘To think, that could have been your untimely end.’ Harry blinked his one eye innocently before letting go of Eggsy entirely and moving away.

‘If we live through this shit, remind me to thank you.’ Eggsy grumbled, moving toward where Merlin was dusting himself off from a wayward tumble into some debris to grab the other end of the chain.

‘Wouldn’t dream of forgetting.’ Harry helped drag the chain into a pile by the door, not quite understanding what the plan was until Eggsy dropped the last bit of it to the top: a hook.

‘Brace yourselves.’ With that, Eggsy and Harry pushed the pile of chain out the back of the car with both hands, and waited with bated breath for the hook to catch on something.

Anything.

There was a lurch when the hook caught on the track, the entire car pulled off it from the sudden attempted stop. Suitcases were flung from one end to the other, some falling from the damaged holes in the car, Harry held Mr. Pickle tightly to his chest and prayed that they’d get out of this in one piece- even if it were a damaged one. As soon as the car seemed to settle to a steady grind along the ground, the trio of men locked arms before exchanging terrified grins and staring out at the rushing snowscape.

‘Well, it seems this is our stop!’

They jumped.

They miraculously landed without breaking any bones, though some rocks hidden by the snow had scraped them up a bit and Mr. Pickle was shivering pathetically in Harry’s arms.

‘I fuckin’ hate trains, bruv- don’ let me get on a train ever again, y’get me?’ Eggsy was still lying in the snow while waving a finger angrily at Merlin, who nodded indulgently, but Harry could do nothing but stare at the sky.

What now?

---

‘Are we walking to Paris, then?’ They’d been walking for ages, and as the days wore on Harry was losing his nerve and his patience. He felt like a child, whinging about how long things were taking- but he had waited ten years for answers and now that he was on the path the rest couldn’t come soon enough. He was so close to getting an answer.

‘No, Your Grace, we are taking a boat from Germany into Paris.’ Merlin sighed, and looked forlornly at the path ahead of them.

‘Are we walking to Germany, then?’ It wasn’t that he was impatient, Harry reasoned with himself, it was just that he did not enjoy not knowing the plan. He wanted to at least have a solid idea of the next step they were taking, even though the end goal was the same.

‘We’re takin’ a bus to Germany, Harry, just got to get to town first.’ Harry hummed in agreement, and together they trudged on in companionable silence. Until Merlin decided the silence was too much to bear and began to wax poetic about someone named Roxy.

‘Who’s Roxy?’

‘The Juliet to my Romeo, hot chocolate after a walk in snow, a decadent pastry filled with laughter-’

‘Are we discussing a dessert or a person?’

‘Ix-ay on the Oxy-Ray’ Eggsy muttered, seemingly to himself as both of his companions were too caught up in one another to pay him any mind. The closer they got to Paris, the more stressed he became- how many more ways could shit go wrong? It was lucky that there wasn’t an actual deadline here, or they’d have been fucked over ages ago.

‘The ethereal Roxy Morton is the Empress’ Niece-’

‘Niece? Why are we going to see the Empress’ niece, and not the Empress herself?’ Harry barely kept himself from stopping in his tracks- but no matter what their initial destination, there was no way he was staying out in the cold because he was being petty.

‘Did you really think that we could just show up at the Empress’ doorstep?’ Eggsy scoffed, and glanced back before continuing onward. ‘No one gets to the Empress without Roxy’s say-so- after that thing where her whole family was massacred the Empress is a bit wary of strangers, if you can believe.’ Harry’s ears burned at the rebuke, feeling foolish for not having come to the logical conclusion of security.

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ Harry muttered, refusing to make eye contact with either man when they looked back toward him, ‘I’m not certain how I feel about actively lying to someone about this. Make an appearance looking done up, ask some questions and perhaps get some answers, certainly, but to lie?’

‘The fuck said anythin’ about lying? D’you know you ain’t the Duke?’

‘Well no, I don’t know much of anything about who I may or may not be.’

‘So it’s one more stop on the path toward becoming your true self!’ Merlin said as he slung an arm about Harry’s shoulders, but Harry looked away and shrugged it off.

‘Harry, ain’t this somethin’ you’re gonna see to the end? Thought you wanted answers- can’t get shit if you don’ try.’ Harry shrugged and stared at a nearby pond for want of something to focus on. Eggsy was having none of his shit, and grabbed him by the elbow to force him to look at his own reflection. ‘What do you see, Harry?’

‘I see a frail man, who has no past to draw from and no future to aim toward.’

‘Well that’s nonsense,’ Merlin placed a hand on his shoulder, gripped it in a way that Harry knew would not be removed by simply shrugging it off, ‘you’re an intelligent man who wants answers. You’re determined and took a chance on the likes of us,’ Merlin gestured between himself and Eggsy, ‘on the word of a woman you didn’t know from any other passerby.

‘I’ve seen you give command equal to any royal- which,’ Merlin smiled, ‘is saying something, as I was once a member of the Imperial Court. I’ve plenty of experience with royalty to draw from.’

‘So you’ve got a choice, bruv’ Eggsy’d stopped, and had his hands shoved into his pockets, slightly slouched, and Harry couldn’t help but admire the cut of his image as Eggsy raised a brow in his direction, ‘you gonna focus on what you see now, or what you can become, Grand Duke Hart?’

‘Do you think that I’ve got anything to lose?’

---

It was surprising how easily the lessons were able to stick. It felt far less like creating something from nothing and far more like rebuilding. Like giving a table a new leg, or darning a sock, instead of crafting from the bare materials. On the one hand, it made lessons simpler to get through- but on the other, it was actually terrifying to think that he had once known these things. Had he once been a man of the Courts? Was he a gossip that had merely taken note of all of these things for use at some later point?

Table manners had needed some work, but it seemed that if Harry stopped thinking about things then his body simply did them naturally. If he curled his lip and narrowed his eyes, sometimes he was able to imagine sitting with the sorts of stuffy people he imagined royals to be and not making an utter fool of himself. But the things that were not easy were so difficult Harry was tempted to give up the venture entirely.

‘Harry, if I can do this shit then you can too. It ain’t that difficult.’ Eggsy was gesturing with a sheet Merlin had written various facts onto. Family members and the sorts of little stories that were used to make conversation when small talk wasn’t enough. Oh, once Count so-and-so managed the most ghastly thing entirely by accident! The empty stories that made collectives and families. ‘Now Count Sergei-’

‘I’ve heard he’s put on a fair amount of weight.’ Merlin commented from where he was sat, writing into a notebook.

‘He’s the one who had a cat, right? Some fat yellow thing,’ Harry cocked his head to one side, eyes looking skyward, and entirely missed the startled look Merlin and Eggsy exchanged.

‘...Yes, Harry.’ Eggsy said, barely holding it together as Merlin shook his head, only enough to be barely noticeable. Merlin snapped his book shut and tucked it away, Mr. Pickle startled from his nap where he’d sat upon Merlin’s legs and jumped down as Eggsy approached their luggage and reached inside. ‘Now, there’s somethin’ all royals c’n do that us common types ain’t the best at-’ Eggsy pulled out a set of black men’s dress shoes, open laced and simple, ‘dancing.’ He came up to Harry, offering them to the man with a grin. After a moment of Harry not reaching to take them from his grip, Eggsy shook them in front of his face. ‘What’re you waitin’ for?’

‘The punchline.’

‘There’s no punchline, Harry- dancing is as important to the royals as all of the bits of knowledge you’ve memorised up till now,’ Merlin spoke softly, and made sure to look Harry in the eye, ‘you’re going to have to learn at least a few dances, and these shoes are what you’ll need to be comfortable dancing in. Eggsy is going to be your dance partner-’

‘- what?’

‘- as you’ll have to be comfortable leading your partner and the height differential betwixt you is ideal.’ Merlin didn’t smile, but Harry could see the amusement in his gaze. He nodded, and Merlin took a few paces back to lean against the edge of the boat as Harry replaced his worn travelling shoes with the fancier pair.

‘They’re called oxfords- they make some with designs and shit ‘n call ‘em brogues, but the Hart’s were more about bein’ elegant than flashy.’ Eggsy muttered, the tips of his ears were red, and in spite of his overwhelming curiosity Harry kept his mouth shut. Perhaps at the end of all this he would know more than just who had once been, but until that time came it didn’t do well to pry.

‘Well,’ Harry stood, at once feeling entirely and nothing like himself in the too-hard shoes, ‘let’s get started.’ Harry offered a hand to Eggsy, who took it before placing his other hand at Harry’s shoulder. They exchanged a shaky grin before starting to move, both muttering beneath their breath and glancing downward every few moments.

‘Well, Merlin, on the one hand you’ve done an admirable job in setting them up. On the other,’ he sighed to himself, pulled a hand down his face and allowed his eyes to lazily follow them as they seamlessly danced their way around the bow of the ship, ‘you’ve set them up.’

‘I’m feeling a bit light headed, Eggsy.’ Harry murmured as he slowed their dance down to a crawl.

‘Dizzy?’ Eggsy looked up, an eyebrow cocked and Harry nodded in reply. ‘Prolly from all the spinning. We- we should stop.’ Eggsy couldn’t pull his eyes from Harry, who was looking at him the same way he’d looked at the sunset- eyes wide and mouth slightly parted.

‘We have stopped.’ They didn’t move from their positions, pressed nearly chest to chest and the toes of their shoes touching, and both men closed their eyes. Simply allowed themselves to breathe in the same air, unknowingly leant even closer than before, nearly-

There was a clatter of luggage, and both men’s heads snapped toward Merlin and Mr. Pickle, the latter of which was sat atop the messy pile of belongings. Merlin was half covered by the pile and glaring at the dog. Eggsy pulled from Harry’s grip and backed up a bit before smirking in his direction.

‘You’re doin’ great, Harry.’

---

Merlin was sitting on the floor of their room of the ship, a little green at the gills, while Harry read a book in his bed. Eggsy was sleeping on the floor, surrounded by their luggage just a little bit away, and Harry looked briefly over his form and Mr. Pickle sleeping beside him before he turned to Merlin.

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

‘Just riddled with envy- there Eggsy is sleeping through everything while you and I remain awake from the rougher waters. There’s little I envy of Eggsy’s life, but his ability to sleep through anything is at the top of that list.’ Mr. Pickle had stirred at Merlin’s voice, and made his way over toward them with more than a little fanfare; he was small, and climbing over the luggage had jostled something loose, something that looked priceless. Gold and blue and engraved with strange symbols that tugged at the edges of Harry’s mind.

Or perhaps that was the seasickness talking.

‘It’s a lovely jewellery box, is it not?’

‘Is that what it is?’ Harry turned it in his palm idly, looking but not really seeing the details.

‘Well, what else could it be?’ Merlin looked briefly between Harry’s face and the intricate object before putting his head back between his legs.

‘Something else- something... secret,’ Harry whispered, ran a fingernail along the top edge, ‘is that possible?’

‘Well, anything’s possible- you got Eggsy to waltz, didn’t you?’ They chuckled for a moment, exchanged a wry glance, and settled in for bed as best the were able.

Eggsy woke to Mr. Pickle barking and jumping on his side, and he sat up slowly before registering the groaning that was not his own coming from the bed. Harry was tossing, his face contorted into a grimace and a noise Eggsy didn’t want to call a whimper but could call little else escaped him. Eggsy couldn’t help but scramble from his place on the floor, ran a hand down Mr. Pickles’ back unthinkingly as he passed, and shook Harry’s shoulder.

‘Harry? Harry! Wake up!’ Harry’s eye shot open, one hand slapped itself over his ruined eye socket to hide it from view as he gasped. Or maybe just to grasp at the eye patch that should have been there but was conspicuously absent. Eggsy moved his eyes slowly, left his hand on Harry’s shoulder, and used the other to pick up the patch from where it had fallen to the floor.

‘Here,’ Eggsy gave a small smile, the kind of sheepish thing you exchange when embarrassed, as he pressed it into Harry’s hand, ‘you okay?’

‘I- I’m not sure. I keep seeing these faces, they’re screaming, and-’

‘Hey,’ Eggsy squeezed the hand on Harry’s shoulder, ‘it was just a dream, yeah? You’re safe now.’ Harry looked between Eggsy’s eyes frantically, as if he was looking for something specific, and seemed to relax minutely as he found it. Whatever it was. His face slackened, one side of his mouth pulled into a sheepish grin, before he stretched languidly and turned onto his side beneath the covers.

‘Of course I’m safe- I’m with you.’

---

‘Yes, yes, we’d take picnics by shore in spring- but, tell me, why in the spring? How did we get there?’ An older woman, silver hair pulled into an elegant knotwork of loose braids, tapped her cane to the floor while glaring at the man before her. She could see the dye in his hair and the state of his attire did nothing to convince her of his supposed heritage. His blue eyes widened, one hand lifted in a parody of thought, before she continued. ‘I’m sorry, sir, but you’ve taken too long. Please see yourself out- and do let people know that I have no intentions of seeing any more false Henry’s.’ The door did not slam behind him, but a woman emerged from the hall with her eyes downturned and she scuffed a foot in the carpet as she came forward. Her red dress somehow subdued despite the colour, shoes a simple black to accompany a delicate bracelet that sat upon her wrist.

‘I’m sorry, Empress, I thought-’

‘The issue is not that you were thinking, Roxanne- it’s in how you were thinking. It’s been many years, and I am growing tired of the rough ride my heart has been taken on. I don’t want to give myself any more false hope, darling- I’ll not see any more. I would rather wonder than have my heart broken again.’

‘As you wish, Empress.’

---

‘What if she doesn’t recognise me? What if I’m not Henry, and we’ve come all this way for nothing? Just a short while ago I had nothing and now I’m having to remember an entire lifetime-’ Harry was fiddling with his ring, the only bit of familiar clothing on him, and refused to meet anyone’s gaze. His blue waistcoat and bowtie felt stifling and the oxfords on his feet still felt unnatural. But, these were the sorts of things he was meant to be used to- so he would suffer through the hassle.

‘Breathe. We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.’ Eggsy ruffled Harry’s hair, sufficiently distracting him from Merlin ringing the doorbell.

‘Oui, monsieur?’ A maid had opened the door initially, but Eggsy stifled a laugh as she was unceremoniously pushed from the doorjamb and replaced with a woman in violet. Her hair was pulled to the nape of her neck with a black ribbon, and Harry could only notice that because she had veritably launched herself into Merlin’s embrace.

‘Merlin, well isn’t this an unexpected surprise!’ She had pulled back, a smile splitting her face, seemingly ignorant as to the rest of the guests. ‘Do come in, we can catch up inside. What brings you all the way to me after all this time?’

‘Might I present His Imperial Highness the Grand Duke Henry.’ Merlin gestured toward Harry regally, and Harry couldn’t help but straighten his back under her appraising gaze.

‘Well he certainly looks the part- but so did many of the others I’ve had to see through, love.’ Roxy tilted her chin and narrowed her eyes, but nodded her head before addressing Harry directly.

‘How do you take your tea, Henry?’

‘Preferably not at all.’ Roxy’s lips twitched for a moment before settling back into calculating neutrality. For all that he was meant to be royalty, if he did not act like a normal person around those who were meant to be his peers then he was obviously out of place. At least, that’s how he justified his thoughtless reply in his mind.

‘If you and I were to go dancing,’ Eggsy stifled a laugh at Harry’s look, ‘would you allow me to lead?’

‘Would you step on my oxfords?’ Harry raised a brow, and Merlin huffed a breath as he shook his head. The dance had begun.

It had taken several hours, they’d shared a meal and Eggsy had noticed Roxy’s watching how Harry ate his meal. They’d had tea brought out twice, and Merlin could practically hear the notetaking happening in Roxy’s head. On the one hand, it was admirable that Roxy was taking her job as gatekeeper to the Empress so seriously- but on the other, this was exhausting.

‘And, finally, this may be a fair bit personal-’

‘We’re meant to be discerning my identity, think nothing of it-’

‘How did you escape during the siege of the palace?’ Roxy finished, and sat back in her seat with her hands folded in her lap. Harry looked to the floor for a moment from the corner of his eye, and licked his lips before answering with a knowledge he didn’t know the source of.

‘There was a boy, a young boy that worked in the palace, and he opened a wall. Which sounds like nonsense, I know, but-’

‘Is he Henry, then, Roxy?’ Merlin interrupted, leant forward in his chair beside her, one hand upon the tabletop between them. Eggsy hadn’t moved, had barely dared to breathe, locked on Harry’s form with eyes wide and unseeing.

‘Well he certainly answered every question I posed to him.’ Harry allowed himself to smile, but couldn’t get his body to relax. Still sat with his back straight, wrists straight, legs still beneath the table.

‘So when do we go and see the Empress, then?’

‘You don’t.’ It’s said simply, neutrally, as if discussing the weather or a nearby plant as Roxy pushed from the table and began to pace. ‘The Empress has had her heart hurt once too many times and has ordered an end to introductions.’ One hand rubbed at her chin while the other was curled behind her back.

‘But there simply must be a way- I certainly won’t budge until we have some semblance of an idea.’ Merlin spoke not frantically, but not calmly either. He spoke like a man who was used to people finding a way to obtain what he wanted.

Harry’s mind was frantic. Here he had come all this way, done everything proper, and still it was hopeless?

‘Do you like the Russian Ballet? I believe they’re performing in Paris tonight, and the Empress and I are sure to never miss a performance.’ Roxy winked in Merlin’s direction, Harry breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to share a smile with Eggsy-

Who wasn’t there.

‘We did it! We’re to see Her Imperial Highness tonight and then we are golden, Eggsy!’ Merlin meandered into the garden where Eggsy was staring almost angrily into a bird bath.

‘He’s the Prince, Merlin.’

‘Oh, quite right, I nearly believed him myself,’ Merlin continued to babble, but Eggsy wasn’t listening. They were going to shop for proper attire for the ballet, great, but that didn’t change anything. They’d go, the Empress would see Harry, and it would be over.

He’d just have to live with it.

---

‘Merlin I told you a hundred times now, we got nothin’ to worry about. Henry’s the Prince. He’s the real deal.’

‘I know, I know-’

‘No, you don’ fuckin’ know! I was the boy in the palace, Merlin,’ Eggsy swallowed heavily, clenched his hands together and looked down at his lap. Sitting on the steps of the Ballet house was likely poor etiquette, but he couldn’t care less at this moment. ‘I opened the wall.’

‘Then… We’ve managed to reconnect Harry with his family, we’ve found the heir to the throne, and you-’ Merlin breathed, sad eyes looking at Eggsy.

‘Will leave his life forever.’

‘What? But, Eggsy, he-’

‘Princes don’t marry kitchen boys, Merlin. It’s better if he don’t know- we get this shit done like nothing’s changed, yeah?’

‘You’ve got to tell him, Eggsy-’

‘Tell me what?’ Harry appeared as if summoned, but Eggsy knew it was just because he was distracted. His jacket, slightly covered by the long black winter cloak, was a dark blue velvet, slacks a pristine black and both were cut to make Harry look as if he had been the muse for whom the clothes were made in tribute of. He looked stunning, eye soft and hair carefully groomed and he seemed to have obtained a new eyepatch. Less faded, more elegant, just the slightest change that somehow made a world of difference.

‘Just how wonderful you look, Harry. Like- like Royalty.’ Eggsy ran a hand through his hair, and only Merlin could see the way he tugged sharply at the fine bits at the base of his neck.

‘Well, that’s what they say I am, so,’ Harry shrugged, a little pink in the cheeks, and the three of them slowly made their way up the steps. People stared, but only in the way one stared at a piece or art, admirably sand from a distance.

‘There she is, Harry,’ Eggsy leant intimately into his space, offering a pair of opera glasses and pointing with a flick of his wrist across the balcony. Roxy was sat beside a woman bedecked in a fine burgundy and so many jewels the chandelier was envious. An ornate crown sat upon her brow, and though her eyes were sad her face was soft. Harry immediately felt as if he knew her, could easily imagine late evening talks and soft laughter.

‘Oh, please let her remember me.’ Harry begged a god he didn’t believe in, desperate to know that he belonged somewhere but unwilling to believe so without solid evidence. He spent the first quarter of the ballet nervously fiddling with his ring, and ripped his programme to shreds, before Eggsy reached over and seamlessly threaded his fingers between Harry’s and gave a squeeze.

‘Everything’s going to be fine, Harry.’ Eggsy said it with such authority that Harry couldn’t help but believe him, and allowed himself to relax and actually enjoy Cinderella until the intermission.

‘C’mon, it’s time.’ Eggsy stood and pulled Harry up with him, and the pair walked steadily through the halls until they came to the set of doors Eggsy knew led to the Empress’ balcony. ‘I’m gonna go in and announce you proper, an’ then I’ll come and get you, yeah?’ He turned to pull away, but found Harry’s hand tightened around his own.

‘Eggsy,’ Harry was pale, but steady, and looked at him very seriously, ‘we’ve been through quite a lot together, and I wanted… well, before everything changes, I wanted to thank you.’ He lifted their clasped hands to his face, and placed a light kiss to Eggsy’s fingers with a soft smile and an emotion Eggsy didn’t want to name in his eye. Eggsy allowed himself one moment, the space between one blink and the next, to imagine the life he wanted. The life they could have had, if all of these things hadn’t turned out the way they had.

‘I- I, uh I…’ Eggsy forced himself to look away from Harry and pulled his hand back. ‘Good luck, Harry. Here goes!’ He turned, and let himself into the room- not noticing that it didn’t latch shut behind him.

‘Please inform Her Majesty, the Dowager Empress, that I have found her son, the Grand Duke Henry- he's waiting to see her just outside.’ Roxy had stood when the doors opened, and stifled a giggle at Eggsy’s airs.

‘I’m sorry, sir, but the Empress will see no one.’

‘You can tell the impertinent young man that I’ve seen enough Grand Duke Henry’s in my lifetime and have no desire to see another one. I wish to live out the remainder of my lonely life in relative peace.’

‘If you’d just let me-’

‘Come, you’d better leave, I’ll escort you to the door.’ Roxy pulled the curtains shut and bustled to the door, but Eggsy took a breath and went through the erected barrier instead.

‘Your Majesty I mean you no harm, my name’s Gary- I used to work at the palace. In the kitchens.’ He sat in a seat but was sure to leave a space between them- he was pushing things, but he wasn’t a complete idiot.

‘Well that’s certainly not one I’ve heard before.’ Her nose wrinkled, the edge of her eyes creased, and Eggsy couldn’t help but see Harry in her face.

‘I hope not, ma’am, as it’s the truth an’ all-’

‘I know what you’re after, I’ve seen hundreds of you in the last decade- men intent on the reward and willing to do anything to get it. To lie to an old woman about her own son,’ she spat, ‘you’ve come a long way, haven’t you? To get here from Russia must have been quite the trek, and no matter who the man beyond that door is he’s not going to be my Henry. He may look like him, or talk like him, perhaps he has the family tree memorised or knows my favourite perfume but it is never. My. Son.’ Harry and Roxy were stood by the door, one on each side, and both could hear the exchange. Roxy looked at him with defeat set in her shoulders, and Harry could do nothing but run his thumb upon his ring and look to the ground in reply.

Harry barely kept himself from crying, just from the pain in her voice- he may not have any memory of his family, of his past, but he had seen enough examples of pain, of grief, in his ten years at Statesman to never wish to cause that to someone else. Whether Eggsy and Merlin had used him was irrelevant to this woman’s suffering. He had no right to reopen those wounds, no matter who he had been.

‘He really is Henry, Your Majesty!’ Eggsy was grabbed around the arms by two security men, who had likely come through an unseen passage at the Empress’ request. ‘Just talk to him, five minutes, and you’ll see!’ She looked away from him, threw a hand lazily over her shoulder, and Eggsy was tossed from the room to land in a heap at Harry’s feet.

‘Was this all a lie, as she thinks, Eggsy?’ Harry offered Eggsy a hand to help him up, but let go as if burned once he was righted. There was only one real way to end this venture and stop contributing to the hurt the Empress had to endure.

‘No, no Harry it wasn’t,’ Eggsy clenched his fists so tightly his nails bit into his palms, ‘I ain’t gonna lie and say it didn’ start out that way but everything’s different now. It’s been differen’ since we got to Paris cos you really are Henry Hart.’ Harry looked at him sadly, and a single tear ran from his eye.

‘From the beginning there were falsehoods, and to think that I actually,’ Harry shook his head slightly, ‘nevermind. How am I meant to believe you, now, Eggsy?’

‘... When we was at Roxy’s place,’ Eggsy spoke slowly, eyes never leaving Harry’s, ‘you told her that you’d gotten out from the palace cos a boy opened a wall.’ Harry nodded, ‘Did we ever tell you that?’

‘... No.’ Harry sighed, and lifted a head to rub at his temple.

‘I was that boy, Harry,’ Eggsy gulped, ‘I worked in the kitchens, whole family worked at the Palace and all, an’ I heard the crashing an’ screaming and I didn’t even think I just knew I had to try.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’ do more, Harry. But I’m trying to make up for it now.’ Harry still looked unsure, so Eggsy nodded firmly and stepped around Harry to leave through the front door. He could take all the time he needed, as long as he was still in Paris by the time Eggsy’d convinced the Empress to try one last time.

For once luck was in Eggsy’s favour, as the Empress as getting into her car just as he made his way down the steps, and Eggsy slid into the driver’s seat smoothly before taking off, tyres screeching.

‘Ilya, slow down.’ Eggsy looked back at her with a wink, and took a sharp turn while he kept his laughter to himself.

‘I ain’t Ilya, ma’am, and I won’ slow down ‘til you listen to me.’ The Empress demanded otherwise, but Eggsy tuned her out. It didn’t matter what Harry thought of him, what this woman thought of him, what happened to the money- as long as Harry got his fair shot at happiness. He pulled them to a stop in front of the house they’d been staying at. ‘You got to talk to him, look at him. Please.’ If it were for anyone else Eggsy would have hesitated, but he knelt before the woman with his head hung low and hands digging through his pockets.

‘I refuse to be badgered by you for a moment longer, young man-’ Eggsy pulled the jewellery box from his pocket triumphantly and held it before her.

‘D’you recognise this?’ She reached out a shaking hand to pull it toward her, breath caught, and looked briefly up to Eggsy’s eyes.

‘Where did you get this?’

‘I know you’ve been hurt, and that ain’t fair,’ Eggsy ignored the question, ‘but maybe. Just. Maybe he’s been just as lost an’ alone as you’ve been.’

‘You’ll truly stop at nothing until I give in, will you?’

‘Harts ain’t the only stubborn family, ma’am.’ Eggsy grinned, and though all the Empress did in reply was sigh he knew he’d won this battle. He led her up the stairs, left her at the door, and hoped for a miracle.

‘What could you possibly need of me at this time of night, Eggsy?’ Harry barely paused in his packing to respond to the knock at the door. No matter the outcome of the evening, it was unlikely that he would be able to remain in this place for long. He had to begin a new life, here- and the beginning was sure to be the toughest part. He didn’t notice the door opening or the clacking steps into the room, and only turned when he heard the door click shut again.

‘Oh, I- I beg your pardon,’ Harry stuttered, ‘I thought you were-’

‘I know precisely who you thought I was, sir- but I must ask. Who, exactly, are you?’

‘To be honest I was hoping you’d be able to tell me.’ Harry pulled up one end of his lips before pulling out a nearby chair and sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

‘I am an old woman, dear, tired of being conned and given hope only to have it tricked away.’ She did not speak the way Harry assumed Royalty would, she spoke plainly, but perhaps that was more her age than her standing in life.

‘It’s a good thing that I’ve no desire to trick you, then.’

‘I suppose you’re uninterested in the reward money, as well?’

‘To be frank, Highness, all I desire is to know who I am. Whether or not I belong to… well, to all this,’ Harry gestured to the finery he was still draped in, to the room around him that was far finer than any other he’d stayed in. ‘Whether I belong to your family, or if I must continue searching Paris on my own.’

‘Well I’ll have you know that you’re an excellent actor- the best I’ve seen, in fact- but it doesn’t make you who I’m looking for.’ She looked him up and down once more before turning to walk from the room, and Harry caught something on the air he couldn’t help but comment on.

‘Peppermint?’

‘An oil, for my hands.’ The Empress paused with a hand on the door as the other held her elegant cane.

‘I think I- yes, I spilled a bottle of it, once, onto the carpet. It always smelled of peppermint after that- it always reminded me of you.’ Harry was looking down at his hands, and entirely missed the Empress’ eyes widening as she turned around and sat at the bench by the door. ‘I’d lie there, undignified on the floor with a book, when you were away on business and wait for your return.’ He turned in place, eyes closed, one hand fiddling with the ring that had started this entire adventure as he smiled softly. He didn’t know where the words were coming from, but at this point he’d stopped questioning his body when it seemed to know what to do.

When Harry opened his eyes, the Empress was looking at him softly, and gestured to the bit of bench beside her. He took the hint and sat down, forcing his hand away from the ring as he turned to face the Empress.

‘What is that?’ She gestured to the ring, and Harry’s ears pinked at having been caught fiddling.

‘I’ve always had this, for as long as I could remember. Well, since before then, I’d wager, as I don’t recall where it came from.’

‘May I?’ She lifted a hand, and Harry could only watch as if from a great distance as she took the ring from him and pressed it to the bottom of the jewellery box and twisted a handful of times. ‘It was our secret, my Henry’s and mine.’

‘The music box- to… to lull me to sleep, while you were in Paris.’ Harry whispered as he watched the box open and the figures began to spin. ‘Hear this song and remember…’

‘Soon you’ll be... home with me-’ The Empress sung softly as she slowly placed the music box on the bench between them.

‘Once upon a December.’ Harry finished, still staring at the music box as it stopped playing a song he hadn’t known he knew.

‘Oh, Henry,’ the Empress cried, uncaring of the tears that fell down her face in what was certainly an undignified manner, ‘my Henry.’ She pulled him into an embrace, and Harry couldn’t help but tuck his head into her shoulder and close his eye, trying to soak in the moment as much as he could.

Down on the pavement, staring at the lit window from the fence, Eggsy blew a kiss and walked away, knowing he’d gotten Harry home.

Hours later the Empress and Harry were sat in her home, a short table covered in small paintings and other such physical memories between their chairs, and Harry felt more than a little overwhelmed.

‘I remember, now,’ he murmured, ‘how much I loved them. It feels silly to mourn for them now, but-’

‘They would not have wanted us to live in the past forever, Henry- especially not now that we have found each other again after all this time.’ Harry hummed in agreement but continued to run his fingers over the sketch of what was apparently he and his brothers. People he could barely remember but somehow missed fiercely.

‘Do you remember this portrait you made for me?’ She passed over a rather ugly drawing, and Harry couldn’t help but laugh in no small amount of amused horror.

‘Oh, yes, didn’t Olga say it looked as if a pig were riding a donkey?’ Harry held it away from his face and squinted before he shrugged and set it aside. ‘Seems she was right.’

‘You laugh just the way your father did,’ The smile they shared was sad, ‘ah, but your looks are all from me. And rightfully so, Niko’s hair loss was a terrible shame.’ The Empress ran a hand through her soft curls before reaching out to card through Harry’s own, now that it was free from the product that held it in place for the ballet. ‘Come, we’ve a celebration to prepare for.’

If Harry had thought the shoes were uncomfortable he was sorely mistaken. The pair of sashes that draped from shoulder to hip, the cloak at his shoulders that forced them back, the sheer weight of the jewelled tunic… he felt like a piece from a museum, not meant to be moved or touched, no matter how beautiful.

---

‘You sent for me, Your Grace?’ Eggsy bowed at the waist, confused beyond reason for his presence in the Empress’ home after he’d basically kidnapped her and forced her to interact with Harry.

‘The ten million rouble reward, as promised, with my gratitude for your stubbornness.’ She stepped away from the table, and indicated the open case that sat upon it.

‘Well ta for the gratitude, Your Highness, but I don’ want the money. There’s other places I can get that.’ Eggsy knew he was being stupid, being proud, because the money was actually something he needed. But the thought of it left a bad taste in his mouth, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to take it.

‘Then what is it that you desire in return for bringing my Henry back to me?’ This was an entirely different person from the car, this was far more like the woman he’d known in the Palace. When things were simple, and happy.

‘’nfortunately, nothin’ you can give me.’ Eggsy turned and began to walk from the room, but was stopped by a hand at his wrist.

‘Before you go,’ The Empress began, not at all as if she were giving an order but Eggsy couldn’t help but comply, ‘where did you get that music box?’ Eggsy pulled his fingers down his jawline and looked away, teeth clenched tightly together.

‘You were the boy, weren’t you- the servant boy who got us out. You saved his life that night- and mine- you’ve restored him to me, after all this time. And you desire… nothing?’

‘Not anymore.’ Eggsy shrugged the hand from his arm and continued toward the door, desperately trying to hold tears at bay. Harry deserved this, to have the life that had been taken from him so many years before in a senseless act of violence. It wasn’t his fault that Eggsy wasn’t a part of that picture.

‘Can I ask what changed your mind?’ Eggsy stopped and turned back to the Empress, shoulders back and jaw set.

‘It’s more a change of heart, ma’am. If you’ll excuse me.’ Eggsy bowed again before taking his leave, entirely missing the knowing look the Empress made at his back. He made his way down the stairs, stared fixedly at his feet as his hand gripped the rail, hoping beyond reason that he could simply escape without running into-

‘Hello, Eggsy.’ Harry, in an outfit of gold and sky blue, the sort of thing the Emperor had worn to the sort of parties Eggsy had never been old enough to work, let alone attend. ‘Did you collect your reward?’ It was said kindly, there was no judgement in Harry’s gaze, but it still made Eggsy’s neck prickle with shame. Did he really think that little of him, after everything?

‘Got my business done, yeah.’

‘Excuse me, sir, you’re to bow and address the Prince as Your Highness.’ A servant spoke from the base of the stairs, and Harry lifted a hand to stop him but Eggsy needed to get out of there. Now.

‘Your Highness,’ Eggsy bowed much the way he had for the Empress, and lifted only his eyes, ‘I’m glad you found what you was lookin’ for, Harry.’

‘I’m… I’m glad that you have, as well.’ Harry looked like he had more to say, so Eggsy remained as he was, but nothing more came.

‘Goodbye, Your Highness.’ Eggsy finally took his leave, fluidly walking down the steps and out the door before Harry could reply.

‘Goodbye, Eggsy.’

---

Mr. Pickle did not like the crown they were attempting to put on him for the party. He didn’t mess with the sash or the toy sword but no matter how many pins Merlin used the crown was thrown off in a matter of moments. As adorable a picture he made, perhaps it was time to give up and settle for the rest of it.

‘Well,’ Eggsy spoke from behind Merlin, who turned around holding the dog-sized crown behind his back as if that would make Eggsy forget what he’d seen, ‘If you ever come back to St. Petersburg…’ Eggsy shrugged, and Merlin dropped the crown to the floor so he could grasp Eggsy by both shoulders.

‘You’re making a mistake, lad.’

‘Nah, Merlin- this is the one thing I’m doin’ right,’ Eggsy knelt to give Mr. Pickle a scritch and used him as an excuse not to meet Merlin’s gaze, ‘I can’t stay. I don’ belong here, with the ivory towers an’ fancy shit.

‘I’ll be alrigh’, Merlin- take care, yeah?’ Eggsy pat him on the shoulder, and made his way from the house with his one bag and a determined look on his face; he’d done what he set out to do, and now it was time to go home.

Harry pulled the curtain open for the fifth time in as many minutes, eyes scanning the crowd for someone he was never going to admit he was looking for.

‘He’s not there, Henry.’

‘I know he’s not-’ Harry cut himself off, ‘who’s not there, mother?’

‘That remarkable young man that found the music box.’

‘He’s likely a bit busy spending the reward money, he’s probably trying to forget all of this even happened.’ Harry muttered to himself as he allowed the curtain to fall back shut and walked away from it. He’d thought their journey had given them a connection, and though Harry had definitely taken the coward’s way out and remained silent, Eggsy hadn’t said anything either. He’d thought that they had crossed a barrier, but it seemed that it was all for the job, the story, and now he was something left to the past.

The Empress rolled her eyes and looked at Mr. Pickle, who was curled asleep next to the elegant throne Henry would sit in after his introduction as the guest of honour.

‘Do you see them dancing, Henry? You were born to this, this finery with its titles and jewels, and you’ve found your way back here through so much. But I wonder,’ She paused, allowing her gaze to trail over the room of celebrating strangers, ‘if the reality of this is what you truly desire.’

‘All I ever wanted was to find my family, and I have,’ Harry turned to her, and grasped both her hands in his own, ‘I found who I am, and you-’

‘And you’ll always have me, my love- no one can take who you are from you again- but is it enough?’ She pulled him into her embrace, tucked her head beneath his chin and simply stayed there a moment before pulling back to look into is face. ‘He didn’t take it, you know. The reward- said what he wanted was something that I couldn’t give.

‘Seeing that you’re alive, Henry- seeing the man you’ve managed to become in circumstances I’ll never understand- has brought me joy I thought I’d never feel again,’ Harry began to pace, but the Empress caught his arm and lifted a hand to his cheek. ‘Whatever you choose, darling, we’ll always have each other.’ She pulled away and made her way out to the dance floor, leaving Harry to his thoughts. But as soon as he’d been left alone Mr. Pickle had begun a ruckus, barking madly and running out of the back door.

‘Mr. Pickle!’ Harry whisper-yelled, unwilling to disturb the party more than his dog already had, ‘Mr. Pickle, stop this nonsense!’ Of course the street mutt didn’t listen, and instead ran madly into the hedge maze his mother had led him through earlier. Harry didn’t allow himself to think about the party, about Eggsy and the money he had refused, about the things outside of his control, and instead followed his dog.

After all, this adventure was entirely his fault in the first place. Who knew where else Mr. Pickle would lead him?

---

Eggsy had made it all the way to the ticket window at the station before he’d turned right back around. Maybe he was an idiot, maybe nothing would come of it, but if there was one thing a life without second chances taught you it was to go for what you wanted. Take the risk. Maybe it’d be what killed you, but that didn’t make it less important than anything else. At least you’d get to say you’d tried.

But he couldn’t bring himself to actually go inside. He could hear the laughter, the music, could see the elegance from the windows but Eggsy didn’t feel any more as if he belonged there. That wasn’t his place. So instead he’d settled for wandering the hedge maze, he’d never been in one proper before and it was close enough to feel like he’d tried. Maybe he’d get the courage to find Harry later, but for the moment it was enough to know that he was nearby, even if he was unable to see him.

Which was why it startled him so much to feel a tugging at his pant leg, and look down to find Mr. Pickle. And back up, to see Harry turning the corner, still in his finery, nowhere near the party what was entirely in his honour.

‘Eggsy,’ Harry breathed, and he couldn’t bring himself to move. The pair stood there, as if they hadn’t seen each other mere hours before, before Harry spoke again. ‘I thought you were going back to-’

‘I was, but-’ Eggsy shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, scuffed a shoe across the ground and looked up slowly, ‘I couldn’t.’

‘And the-’ Harry was walking toward him slowly, as if he were an easily spooked animal, or an illusion he didn’t want to break.

‘That neither. Wasn’ right, not when I-’ Eggsy cut himself off, huffed a breath and shut his eyes.

‘When you?’ Harry was grabbing his hands, his eye curious and hopeful, and Eggsy blushed and looked away. Mr. Pickle barked, not enjoying being ignored, and it pulled both men from the daze they’d been in. The music echoed from the hall, and Eggsy looked down as his clothing before he started to pull away.

‘They’re waitin’ for you, Harry.’ Eggsy looked to the building, barely able to see the light through the hedges, and Harry didn’t move.

‘Let them wait.’ Harry cupped Eggsy’s chin with one hand, rubbed his thumb along his cheekbone, and turned his face toward him. There was a fraction of a moment, the space between breaths or blinks of an eye, where Harry searched Eggsy’s face before he brought their lips together.

---

Wish me luck, mother, as I’m off on this new adventure. I know we haven’t had long to get to know one another as we are now- but we’ll be together in Paris again soon enough.

All my love, Harry Hart

#kingsman fic #dagonet writes #Kingsman Stocking Stuffers #anastasia au #kingsmanstockingstuffer

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kaiyeti · 5 years

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*knock knock knock* Izuku: Hey Tsu. Are you ready to go? *The one for all hero asked as he stood outside his girlfriend’s dorm. After a few moments of silence, he began to get worried and gently knocked again.* Tsuyu? Is everything alright in there? Tsuyu: *It was after another minute did the door open to reveal a pale sweating Tsuyu, eyes puffy as well a running nose.* Hey Iz-cough! Cough! I just need a minute or two a-cough-nd I’ll be ready to go. *She coughed, smiling weakly before covering her mouth as she stared to have a coughing, nearly falling if not for her boyfriend catching her.* Izuku: Yeah. That isn’t happening. *Izuku said firmly yet softly, gently placing his hand on her forehead.* Tsuyu: Izuku I’m fine. Ke-coughcough-rrro. It’s just a little cold. That’s all. *She mutter, weakly trying to swat his love’s hand away to no avail.* Izuku: *The green haired hero frowned with worry as he removed his hand for the groggy hero’s head then signed.* I was afraid of this. Tsuyu, this isn’t a little cold. You have a fever. We need to get you into bed to rest. Tsuyu: *Frowning shook her head.* No way. We have been planning this date for weeks. I’m not going to let a cold geeK-KERO!? *she started to tell Izuku until said boyfriend swept her off her feet, holding her like a bride which was her favorite way to be held by her love though she would never admit it and you can’t prove it.* I-Izu? Izuku: Our date can always be rescheduled and will. After all, *he said to his blushing love as he walked into the green rainforest like room and carefully set her down on her bed.* Your happiness AND health always come first. *He smiled at her, making her pink cheeks turn red as he lifted her head up slight to fluff her pillows.* Now I’ll be right back in the mean time get some rest, okay. *he leaned down and kissed her forehead causing her to smile.* Tsuyu: But what about you? Cough! Cough! *Tsuyu questioned watching as her love stood up walking to her dress and pulling out her pajamas, setting them besides her.* Izuku: I am going to get you some medicine and make you something to eat to help you feel better. In the meantime, do you think you can change into your pjs so you are more comfortable? *He explained, helping Tsuyu to a sitting position as she wobbled in post while holding her head to which Izuku gently hugged her.* Tsuyu: Actually I think I could use a hand. Kero. *She bluntly said, taking small joy at her blushing hero, causing her to smiled.* Relax Izu. I just need you to unzip my dress. Plus, it’s not like you haven’t seen mean in my underwear before. Izuku: I-I-I know. *The green haired hero stuttered as he slowly reaches up to Tsuyu’s back and unzips her dress when he freezes in place.* T-T-Tsu? Tsuyu: Cough cough. Yeah Izu? *She coughed looking over her shoulder, a strap of her dress falling off her shoulder, to see her love even redder then before quickly turning away.* Kero? Izuku: I-I-I-i thought you said that you were wearing a bra. Tsuyu: *The froggy hero tilted her head slightly confused when she remembered that in her sicken state she had forgot to put on her bra. Quickly she turned back around snatching he bed shirt to put in it. Unfortunately though do to her ill state she became light headed and began to fall from her bed though luckily she found herself in the arms of her boyfriend instead of on the floor.* Th-Thank you Izu. Izuku: Anytime Tsu. *Izuku shyly smiles as he laid her down, tugging her in, and stood up stroking her hair.* J-Just get some rest. I’ll be right back with something to eat and help you feel better. Tsuyu: *With that Tsuyu watched as Izuku leaned down kissing her forehead before walking out her dorm, giving her a small wave before leaving making her smile and cuddling into her sheet thinking.* How did I get so lucky to have a boyfriend like him? ~~~ Izuku: *Izuku carefully blows on a spoon of hot soup, cooling it before holding it out to his love.* Here you go Tsu. This should help you feel better. Careful though it’s hot. Tsuyu: Heh. Thank you Izu. *The ill hero softly smiles, leaning forward with a blush as she takes the spoon in her mouth drinking the soup and humming happily at the taste.* This is delicious. Where did you get this soup? Izuku: Oh. I made it. *Izuku smiled proudly as he took another spoonful to feed Tsuyu.* Tsuyu: You made it? I’m surprised. *Tsuyu admitted as she ate the soup.* I didn’t know you could cook. Kero. Izuku: Yeah. My mom taught me. She wanted me to know how so I could feed myself and my girlfriend when I got one. *He shyly smiled.* Tsuyu: Did she teach you how to made that tea you made me too? Izuku: Yep. How are you feeling now by the way? Any better? Tsuyu: I am feeling much better. Still under the weather but better. Kero. Thank you Izu... Sorry again for ruining our- *Tsuyu said happily before casting her gaze down before her head was tilted upward where her lips were meant with Izuku’s.* Izuku: Tsuyu, I got to spend the whole day with my hero and love of my life. I loved every second of it. *He told her, giving her another kiss.* Tsuyu: Even when I tongue whipped you when I woke up from my nap, kero? *She blushed with a teasing smile, making her love laugh.* Izuku: To be fair I should have woken you up front before placing that towel on your head. *The two laughed and giggled before Izuku crawled and laid in bed with Tsuyu wrapping his arms around her cuddling her.* I love you Tsuyu. Tsuyu: *She snuggle closer to Izuku giving him a kiss.* I love you too Izuku. *The two continued to embrace each other happily when Tsuyu pointed out.* Kero. You know you are probably going to get sick too by laying with me, right? Izuku: I am willing to take that risk. ~few days later ~ Tsuyu: Was it worth it, kero? * Tsuyu asked as she feed a now sick coughing Izuku some soup.* Izuku: Cough! Cough! Totally. *ENJOY @kickbase77 *

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jackrackhams · 5 years

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twdg take us back thoughts (forgive me if any of this is out of order, i’m doing this from memory)

-the game took 10 minutes to download and those were a wild ten minutes i’ll tell you that -right off the bat i was worried clem was gonna get bit -i tried to shoot lilly at first, then i saw it didn’t work and wished her well. that’s just my s1 lilly fan’s final breaths of air right there -LOUIS SAVED MY LIFE THANK YOU I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR TONGUE -god louis’s little smile though oOF -VI I LOVE YOU -THE OTHER KIDS ARE ALIVE -vIOLET INITIATED KISS!!!! (adding a read more bc this got LONG)

-uhhhh i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one who was left with some post-ep3 lilly vibes with minnie. like fuck u for expecting some kinda redemption arc with any character we are going to make them go Batshit the next episode -like i really thought we’d be able to help her or something when she was fighting off those walkers. i mean i get she was totally brainwashed but c’mon man. she’s a kid. but fuk that ig -walker james man. i sorta justified not going back and killing lilly last ep by saying this was what james would’ve wanted (also it’s my playthrough i do what i want), and now that i know what happens if you do save him uhhhhhhh.... i’m glad i made the choices i did tbh! it’s what james would’ve wanted. -i spent so long in that cave looking for “something to light on fire” -i decided to trust aj. i figured a) that could possibly save my life (it didn’t lol), b) it would make him feel good about himself, and c) i’ve taught him pretty well up to now so i trust him. -MEETING UP WITH VIOLET AND OUR LITTLE FAMILY HUG WOW CAN I JUST SAY THAT SHIT’S THE GOOD SHIT -i low key wish i’d named the school castle violet, but i figured it was more important to give her the choice. texas two squad, gang gang -fighting minnie on the bridge i was thinking ‘ok minnie’s gonna get a lot of shit for this lol’ -speaking of Bridge Scene, that shit was INTENSE if nothing else -like SHIT -when minnie cut me, i thought ‘oh fuuck, something’s gonna bite that’ -i also thought ‘hey clem’s gonna have a big leg scar to match her big arm scar’ but i was wrong about that lmao -i’ve never been more stressed that someone was gonna bite me than in this ep lmao -i also thought the scene from the trailer where you try to grab aj’s hand was gonna be here on the bridge, not on the rocks -oof when tenn died i was upset, but i feel more secure in that than if it were violet who died. only because that was tenn’s choice, and tenn was another person, like james, who had seemed to make peace with the walkers in a way. plus he died with his sister, which seemed to be what they both wanted at the time. that’s not so say that i wish i could’ve saved him without killing vi (or louis), but i do feel satisfied with what i got here (rip tennessee, you were a cool kid) -and then vi jumps over a fence ok bye violet -climbing up the rocks, i knew this was when it was gonna happen. but still. i cried lol -when i uncovered the bite, i was reminded of the s2 game mechanics. oof -as soon as she was bitten i said ‘you have an axe! cut it off now! do it!’ and when they didn’t i died -the next bit was reminiscent of lee making his way to the marsh house in s1 -actually, clem’s limp reminded me of a new day when lee got into that car crash lol -and when clem and aj were closing the doors to the barn and clem said to get something to block the door, i was expecting her to continue and say something like ‘something strong and sturdy’ like lee said when they were blocking off the pharmacy in s1 bc that scene gave me strong pharmacy vibes -and then strong jewelry shop vibes bc why tf not -playing as aj. that was rough. he’s FAST tho oml -that was when i went ‘ok so clem is dying for real’ and cried a lil bit more cuz you know me -switching between clem and aj. DUDE that got me so emotional -also aj using clem’s trick (that used to be jane’s trick). GO KIDDO -seeing clem looking more and more dead fuckt me up (like how did she get from that to the end of the ep i don’t get it. like even if it was because she waited shorter to cut it off or because it was her leg rather than her arm or what. it doesn’t matter because by the time lee looked like THAT his arm was (determinantly) long gone. but hey, not gonna analyze it too much lol i’m just glad my girl clem’s alive) -okay when clem was talking to aj that also got me crying -and when i told aj to leave clem, i was thinking ‘okay, maybe she’ll link up with james. or tenn, but like hopefully not minnie at this point. and lEE maybe she’ll find lee. or luke. or her parents-’ -and then he picks up that ax and i was like ‘woa ok did you just kill her??’ -and then the flashback. lemme be real and say i thought that was the afterlife or something, and that those floaty specks were Afterlife Dust -but then i remembered ‘oh right the ranch’ -lemme just say i didn’t think the ranch was gonna look like that lol -not 100 percent on what was going on at the ranch tbh -like who were those people and why did we kill all of them? one would assume that clem would first try to get aj back peacefully -oh wait they were at war right -also i really liked the design of like all of those people -and the LAVA GUY HOLY SHIT -obviously i mercy killed him -also wait, was clem with the people they were fighting? i couldn’t tell -ALSO also, was. was that eddie? from 400 days? checking the wiki real quick -yea i think that was him. rip eddie you didn’t deserve That. i mean i was happy he was back nd then we were just forced to kill him oof sorry man -felt bad about killing that woman also, but hey, she had aj in a tiny locker, so i didn’t feel super bad about it after finding him -also lemme just say -little kid aj?? -SUPER CUTE OML -he’s like the perfect mix of anf aj’s face and tfs aj’s face. kudos to whoever designed little aj -also when clem was talking with him in the car. i felt like it was sort of unrealistic little kid talk, but not so much that it distracted from anything going on -never go alone god rule number one had me crying -and then we’re aj fishing! -i didn’t catch any fish as aj lol -also i LOVE how they changed the dialogue options for aj to be a lot more childlike if that makes sense? like fuck yeah that was a really nice call -ROSIE IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OK -i didn’t scratch out the v+m heart because it’s history, and it’s not mine to scratch out. same reason i didn’t make clem spit on marlon’s grave -CLEM’S HAT GET IT -GET IT GET IT -OH GOOD GIRL ROSIE YOU’RE A GOD -oh a walker -oH THAT’S A TENN WALKER SHIT -well i’m not gonna kill him Again -also i don’t want the other kids to have to see him -i was so glad when i got the option to throw the rock -he learned from james what a good boy -RUBY HI -god ruby’s the best lmao -my thoughts when they’re talking about the hat ‘...aj hasn’t put it on... they haven’t talked about clem in the past tense.... is she.... possibly.... not dead?’ -lmao and when the next scene started, the trees + sky reminded me of the st john’s dairy and i wondered if we had another lee dream or afterlife or something but nope -is this take us back?? -hOLY SHIT IT’S TAKE US BACK!!! -okay and walking home, seeing everyone. god i was so sjfsakjfa there -like when i saw aasim run up to ruby i was all !!! and when they held hands i was all !!!!!!!!! yknow?? and then when i saw omar and WILLY and then on the gate there was VIOLET (i was so glad she was ok lmao the last thing i wanted for my girl was an offscreen death) god that was so good with the music i was crying a little again -need to make another bullet to stress how happy i am for ruby and aasim. like i would’ve been happy either way but they were portrayed as such a cute couple in the few seconds we got of them, so like. consider me a fan now i guess -i was worried for louis at first cuz i didn’t see him -i thought maybe this was the end of the game because we closed the gate and stuff and i was thinking ‘oh, like closing the story’ but NOPE -sup omar. up and cooking again i see -lmao my sleep-deprived brain found it hilarious that we just put the empty bucket down next to him -uhh what came next the graves or clem?? i forget -WAIT IT WAS THE GRAVES BECAUSE THE TIRE SWING WHICH IS SO CUTE AHH -well tenn’s grave made me :( but then CLEM -so glad my hunch that she was alive was right lmao -but also i thought that was determinant it was a lot less satisfying when you realize that no matter what she lives -i mean i get why they did it like that, they didn’t want anyone feeling left with the “bad ending”, their thing is that their games are tailored to how you play and there IS no bad ending but still. a little variation on that front would’ve made it a lil more satisfying -also where did they get those crutches -i love talking as aj. so much. -he’s just a funky lil guy! -that convo with clem on the steps, when she asked if she did a good job... like FUCK YEAH you did a good job, I’M YOU, you think i’m not happy with how i raised me?? -aj saying ‘are you crazy’ when clem asked that made me smile -okay i know ppl have been saying this. but. siblings aasim and willy rule. -and then the meal!! -i was super hoping for a card game but what we good was good. not great, but good. also, card game as aj would probably not be quite as fun. or it’d be very fun. honestly, it’d probably just be a different kind of fun. -when we panned over the table i saw a flash of louis and i went all ‘louis!!’ in my head -louis’s little note sadfasf that was so cute -and honestly everything about louis in this scene i love you louis -actually, just this whole scene was cute. willy and omar were adorable, and then ruby, and willy asking for seconds, and everyone just being Soft in general like. yall deserve this happiness -vi and clem talking Strategy dude sign me up -i love how clem trusts aj now. and i trust aj too tbh, a lot more than i did initially. i think i taught him pretty well. -violet and aj duo let’s go -slightly worried abt that caravan that was mentioned, but hey. the game left off on a high note, so NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO THEM EVER. YOU HEAR THAT?? -vIOLET INITIATED KISS PART TWO!!!!!! CHEEK KISS EDITION!!!!!!!! IM SOFT!!!!!!!!!! -okay that hallway with the snb team’s names all over the walls?? dude oof. they worked so hard it made me so happy to see their mark on texas two -haha texas two -ANYWAY -obviously i looked at all the collectibles i had, AND pet rosie, because i knew that when i ran out of things to do, the game would be over, and who wants that? -aj: *places human skull* *looks at animal skull* wow clem really likes skulls -kiddo i hate to break it to you but -seems like you’re taking after her in that regard -good girl rosie -lmao aj and his magic powers -it’s like louis in a box -hanging up james’ walker mask made me :(( -he is watching over you aj. and he would like that -ok guys i am BEGGING you. if you haven’t already, PLEASE repeatedly click disco broccoli until you can’t anymore. it’s great. -and then i finally had to put down the hat -”thank you for playing” GOD THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME -I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SERIES IS OVER -I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SAYING GOODBYE TO CLEM -i mean i still have my louis route BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME AS A FRESH EPISODE YKNOW?? OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS: -FIRST OFF I JUST FOUND OUT VI CAN GO BLIND -honestly im in favor of that i rly like blind violet au and now it’s not au -rip her eye honestly -new tag to match my rip louis’ tongue -also i left violet feeling loved FUCK yea i did i love violet -OKAY ACTUAL THOUGHTS -looking at this episode afterwards, is it just me or is it a little... lacking? like, a little off? i mean obviously it’s good in the moment, super intense, but there were just a few things that make me feel like it’s the weakest of the season -also lmao i guess fuck minnie james and lilly, their storylines all felt kinda like a middle finger to their fans if that makes sense -but holy shit was that minnie stuff haunting. like HOLY SHIT -also, for a game that’s been focused a lot around clem’s interactions with the other characters, there was a lot... less of that in this episode. no card game, barely any interaction with anyone other than louis/violet, tenn, minnie, aj, and james. and two of those people are fighting you. one of them is even determinant. i was just expecting a little more on that front, because this season’s been really good with that sorta thing -also i would’ve loved a little more time with violet/louis. but that’s just a personal thing and not necessarily a problem lol -again, i feel like it would’ve been a little more satisfying for clem to survive if there were an option where she didn’t. but again again, i totally get why they didn’t go that route -in that vein, i’d really enjoy a little more time with the person who wasn’t on the bridge with you. i miss my boy louis :( -idk there’s just something a little off about this episode. -that’s not to say i didn’t love it (because i TOTALLY did just look at all that stuff above haha) -like i know i didn’t love the minnie part, but like i said, that shit was INTENSE -i can sorta see why they went that route -and i can’t speak for living!james but walker!james was oddly peaceful to see. like, there was a feeling of ‘this is what he would’ve wanted’ -and okay i loved the violet initiated kisses. so much. -also ruby and aasim that was pretty cute -and obviously im happy clem isn’t dead that’s always great -OH and i loved the scene with the snb team’s names on the walls. like that was so good. -finally, the end scene was so satisfying. it ended the series the right way. with clem’s hat :p

#twdg spoilers #twdg #clem #aj #violet #louis #ruby #aasim #omar #willy #tenn #minnie #lilly #eddie #lee #rip violet's eyes

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kvhottie · 5 years

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When Hinata comes across a shrine and is drawn in by the beautiful sound of Kageyama’s kyūdō, he learns what it means to fall in love at first sight.

Rating: General |Pairing: KageHina |Tags: Archery/Kyudo AU, University AU, Slow build fluff

[Ao3]

Every afternoon after kyūdō practice was quiet and never changing. Hinata cheerfully waved goodbye to his teammates and went his separate way. He’d take a right from the campus exit closest to the kyūdō dojo, a left up the tree-shaded hill, another odd right at the third street, and eventually he’d reach his bus stop. He lived an awkward distance away that walking or biking would take too long and his house was far from a JR train station, so this hidden bus route happened to be the best option. But today Hinata had been distracted by the new phone game Yamaguchi had introduced him to, and had wandered too far up that shaded road. Once it occurred to him to look up from his phone he was standing in front of the long stone steps leading up to a shrine. “Sentago Shrine…” Hinata read from the wooden post beside the stairs. Although he was told as a first year that this shrine was close by, he had never thought to visit it in the last year and a half he’d been attending his university. But remembering that a tournament was coming up, he decided to buy himself a good luck charm and began to climb the stairs with a smile.

Midway up the stairs was a small landing and a paved pathway leading into the trees to the right. Hinata had planned to continue climbing, since from were he was he could spot the bright red shrine gates stretching over the horizon, but the whispers of a familiar sound stopped him in his tracks. His eyes darted to the small sign by the pathway and it read ‘kyūdō hall’. He immediately started following that path, ears perking up to catch that sound again. The path led him to the sideline spectator area of the kyūdō hall and there, standing in the middle of the dojo was a black-haired man doused in the fleeting rose tones of the just-set sun. Dressed in a black uwagi and hakama with his arrow pulled taut against the large bamboo bow in his hands, he looked otherworldly. Just as the early moonlight shone upon him, he let the arrow go, creating that beautiful hum that had lured Hinata to him tonight. His tsurune, the sound made by his bowstring when the arrow was released, was enough to make Hinata shiver. “You’re not supposed to be here.” The man’s voice jerked Hinata from his trance and he tripped over himself, landing butt first on the ground. It was only then that he rediscovered his ability to breathe. But his knees felt weak, so he simply stared up from where he had landed at the man who was now towering over him, a low wood fence separating them two. “Who are you?” he asked, face scrunching up in annoyance. “Your draw…it’s love at first sight,” Hinata blurted, face immediately turning red. He waved his hands in front of him to try to hide it. “That is—your draw and form is extremely beautiful! I was walking up to the shrine when I heard your tsurune and couldn’t help but come look.” The man silently took in Hinata, eyes pausing for a brief moment at the quiver on his back. “Hm,” he finally said and turned around, returning his focus to his practice. Hinata hopped up on his feet again, gaze burning into the man. “What’s your name? You’re around my age, right? Where do you go to school?” “My name’s Kageyama,” he replied with a sigh. He drew his bow, starting from above his head until the arrow was by his cheek, and released—graceful, calm, and incredibly precise. “I’m a 2nd year at Towaku Gakuin.” “Really? So am I!” he beamed, “and my name’s Hinata.” The second arrow pierced the middle of the target. “Hinata, don’t you have somewhere to be?” He bent down to pick up the two arrows lying by his feet on the wood floor. “Am I distracting you?” “Distracting, no, I can shoot regardless of what’s around me. Annoying, yes.” Hinata pouted. “Well, sorry then... But, I have one last question.” Kageyama drew his arrow again, eyes never looking anywhere but at the target hanging on the sandy hillock on the other side of the grassy area in front of him. A meticulous aim and release, and an arrow that always landed. It seemed easier than breathing for him. “What is it?” “Why haven’t you joined our kyūdō team?” Silence. Kageyama closed his eyes once his last arrow was fully drawn and let the arrow cut through the air, his tsurune echoing in the moonlit night. He slowly lowered his bow and faced Hinata. “I’d rather do kyūdō alone.” He then turned sharply, disappearing through a door on the end of the dojo farthest from Hinata. “You still need to come get your arrows, store away the target, and clean up!” Hinata pettily yelled after him. But of course there was no response.

One of Hinata’s most well known traits was his persistence. For the next three weeks he stopped by every night on his way home. He’d sometimes be met with silence and would make do with carefully watching Kageyama’s nimble movements in the muted sounds of the night, and other times Kageyama would humor him, answering random questions with a slightly annoyed, but steadily-turning-warmer demeanor. Hinata was eventually allowed to come in through the side door of the dojo and watch from inside. He’d burn holes into Kageyama’s back as he studied the movement of his arms at a much closer angle than he had before. Closing his eyes and holding his breath, Hinata would blissfully listen to how Kageyama made his arrow pierce through the air—how he made the wind sing. He patiently passed him arrows when he needed it and chatted him up like usual, all while balancing the itch to stand besides him to shoot and the feeling of content from simply being in Kageyama’s company. “So…” Hinata began, twirling an arrow between his fingers while looking at the back of Kageyama’s head. “Would you get mad if I asked you why you decided you’d rather do kyūdō alone?” “I won’t get mad,” Kageyama responded quietly. “At least, not anymore.” Having just shot his last arrow for the night, he pressed the farthest end of his bow against a groove in the wall, pushed, and unstrung it. “Okay, then, what happened to make you only want to do it alone?” Kageyama set his bow beside him as he sat down across from Hinata with his legs tucked under him. “I was the best one in my kyūdō club in high school,” he began, slowly unwrapping his three-fingered glove. “Everyone was excited about that, especially since I helped the boys team win countless times, but by the time we were seniors they relied on me too much and many weren’t taking practice seriously. I confronted them, and that didn’t go over well.” Hinata furrowed his eyebrows and leaned forward. “But it wasn’t your fault, right? What do you mean it didn’t go over well?” “They told me they were sick of how bossy and conceited I was, and that if I didn’t like how things were I should just leave the club. So I did.” “That’s it? You just let them say that crap to you and left?” Hinata asked in disbelief. Kageyama shrugged. “Yeah. Sure, I was pissed, but I didn’t need to do kyūdō with them. I was fine competing on my own.” “I’m sure you’re perfectly fine on your own, but…” Hinata’s lips curled up into a smile and his gaze met Kageyama’s. “…Nothing beats the feeling of winning together with a team that wants it as much as you.” Kageyama took pause at what Hinata had said, those mischievous golden eyes had found a way to slip past his resolve ever so briefly, and awkwardly stood up to set his bow in its place on the wall. “Hey, Kageyama,” Hinata said softly. Kageyama turned around, returning his attention to Hinata who was now standing. “Yeah?” Hinata clasped his hands behind his back and approached each word with caution. “Can I come practice with you on Saturdays?” “No.” Hinata’s hopeful expression fell and he lowered his head, his lips gathering into a pout. “…Okay.” Kageyama sighed and took a step towards him. “Why?” “Forget it,” Hinata sulked, arms folding across his chest as he looked off to the side. “Fine, you can come,” resigned Kageyama, a sly grin forming on his face. “You probably need the practice.” “I do not!” Hinata exclaimed. “ I mean, I do, everyone needs practice, but I’m actually good you know!” “We’ll see if that’s true. Kyūdō is more than just hitting the target.” “I know that,” Hinata huffed. “That’s why I thought you could help me a bit with my form since yours is so beautiful…” “I got it, I got it. You sound like a broken record talking about how ‘beautiful’ my form is.” Kageyama grabbed his phone from the small wooden table by the back wall and held it up in front of him. “Let’s say 10 am. Give me your phone number in case something comes up.” Hinata pulled his phone from his back pocket with a tiny laugh and they switched phones, each making a new contact with their information. Once they were done they switched back and Hinata helped Kageyama gather the arrows and target, as well as clean up the sand hillock the target was resting on. “I can’t come tomorrow because I’m going to karaoke with my team, “ Hinata said as he put on his shoes by the side exit. “So, I’ll see you on Saturday.” “Finally, one night that you’re not here pestering me,” Kageyama replied light heartedly. Hinata stuck out his tongue, yelling, “You’ll miss me!” as he walked through the door and closed it behind him. It wasn’t until he was a while away from the shrine that Hinata made sure no one was around him and let out a quiet victory cheer. Come Saturday he would be standing in a hakama next to Kageyama, as an equal. What would it feel like to have Kageyama watching him as he took his shot, those steely blue eyes that were usually transfixed on the target instead mercilessly taking in Hinata’s form? It made Hinata grip the handle of his bag with a mix of excitement, nervousness, and…something else. Hinata had an inkling of what that unknown feeling was, having already felt it in the past, but for now he wanted to focus on what that feeling did, not exactly what it was. It was that “something else” that brought his feet to that shrine before his brain could catch up, and since that meant he could see Kageyama, he figured the “something else” must not be all that bad.

“Why are you smiling so hard?” Kageyama asked, eyeing the overjoyed Hinata suspiciously when he walked into the dojo on Saturday morning.

“Because you’re letting me practice with you, duh.” “You get happy over the weirdest things,” Kageyama said as he shook his head. “Come, you can switch into your practice clothes in our changing room.” “Ah.” Hinata looked down at the floor sheepishly. “So… I might have… forgotten to bring my uwagi and hakama.” Kageyama sighed and led them through a door on the other side of the dojo. It opened to a small, neat storage room with a bench, a few closets and clothes hooks, and about enough space for two or so people to change in. Kageyama opened a closet with practice clothing and signaled to it. “We can lend you some, though I doubt we have any kid sizes,” he scoffed. Hinata opened his mouth to complain but quickly shut it, reminding himself that he was the one in the wrong here. He thumbed through the clothing, picked the smallest looking ones, and gave Kageyama a tiny head nod. “Thanks.” Hinata set the clothes down on the bench and stepped out of his jeans. He first switched out his socks for the tabi he had picked out, and then slipped on the uwagi over his t-shirt, crossing the left side over the right and tying the two small strings above his right hip. Feeling eyes on him, Hinata looked up to catch Kageyama leaning against the closet, eyes trained on him with meticulous focus. His gaze was enough to make Hinata’s skin warm up. “I know how to put on practice clothes, you know. You don't have to babysit me.” Hinata grumbled as he reached for the blue obi sash and started to carefully tie it around his waist. “A good stance starts with a good foundation, that includes how well you tie your obi and hakama. If you’re messy with your foundation, then you’re just as messy with your form.” “But that doesn’t mean that if you’re careful with your foundation, then automatically your form is good,” Hinata huffed. “Because then my form would be much better than it is.” He finished tying the obi to the front of him and shimmed it around so the knot sat in the center of his lower back. “That’s true.” Kageyama took a few steps toward Hinata and ducked down a bit to get a closer look at how he tied his obi. “So far you’ve done a good job.” “No need to sound so surprised,” Hinata whined and stepped into the black hakama, bringing the front half to rest right above where he tied his obi. He took the two strips of cloth connected to the front section and brought them to the back, crossing them over behind him, and bringing them to the front again. He repeated that once more, being painstakingly careful about where the ties sat on his hips and how they layered on top of each other. Hinata knew Kageyama must be thinking that he was being this thorough because he was being watched, but Hinata was always this careful—he took immense pride in having learned how to properly tie the obi and the hakama from his grandparents. It took a lot of practice, and at first he was awful at it, but by now he could do this in his sleep. “Hm.” Kageyama said as his eyes followed Hinata’s hands. Hinata bit back a grin and lifted the back of the hakama to rest above the obi on his lower back, pulling the ties of that half to the front. From the brief scan Hinata did of Kageyama’s face, he could tell he was impressed, or at least satisfied, by the job Hinata was doing so far. Sure he was quite slow, since there are others that could do just a good a job in half the time, but at least it was neat. Hinata flashed Kageyama a grin, his fingers up in peace signs once he finished tying and tucking those final strings. “Victory.” “You’re slow, but…” Kageyama gave Hinata’s hakama a slight tug with his index finger and nodded to himself. “That’s a solid foundation. Though the clothes are swallowing you somewhat,” he said with a sly smirk, yanking the collar of Hinata’s uwagi teasingly. “I know I’m small. Get a new joke.” Hinata grumbled and pulled at Kageyama’s wrist. “Let’s go practice already.” They promptly readied everything for practice, setting up two targets in the hillock across the dojo and stringing their bows with great efficiency. Hinata gathered his bow and arrows and took his stance in front of the target he had decided to use. “Should I shoot?” he asked Kageyama who was hovering around him, expression already judgmental. Kageyama stopped a few feet to Hinata’s right so he could see his drawing form from that angle. “Yeah, go ahead.” Hinata took a deep breath and performed his shooting sequence: spacing his feet and grounding himself and his core, readying his bow and then raising it while keeping his eyes on the target, swiftly drawing the arrow while bringing the bow down by his cheek, and releasing the bow. He was able to pierce the target left-of-center and also make his usual tsurune—which to him sounded like wind hitting the chimes in his grandma’s house, not that any of his teammates agreed with that sentiment. Hinata turned to look at Kageyama and was able to catch the briefest moment of surprise before his face pulled back to his neutral, slightly displeased expression. “Your quick shooting style is worrisome,” Kageyama said bluntly while pacing and gathering his thoughts. “It’s bold, which suits you I guess, and you go through each motion, so if it’s been working for you until now then we’ll let that be. Just be careful to not get any more rapid fire than this or it might develop into target panic…” Hinata gave a firm nod. “My coach warned me of that and I’m being careful.” “Then, let’s tweak that crappy form of yours without affecting your draw too much.” Kageyama stood to the left of Hinata, facing his back. “Slowly go through your shooting sequence again.” “O-Okay.” Hinata took a deep breath as he measured the spacing of his feet and straightened his back. He was caught off guard by how nervous just having Kageyama stand this close to him was making him feel. “From here?” “Your feet are a bit too turned out, bring them a bit more in. Yes, like that.” Kageyama used two fingers to gently trace down from the top of Hinata’s head to the center of his back. “Your center is also a bit off. Try to imagine a line from the top of your head to the center point between your feet.” Hinata could feel his cheeks warming up. Kageyama’s touch was purposeful and sharp, but also kind. It was hard trying to think about adjusting his form when his mind could only focus on where Kageyama’s hands were resting. He took another deep breath to settle his nerves and find his center. “Is this better?” “Almost.” Kageyama took a step back. “Shoot one more time.” Hinata did as he said, but just a dash more rigid and hyperconscious than he usually was. Once he had made his shot, his right arm outstretched in the proper ending position, Kageyama touched the underside of Hinata’s leading arm and tilted it a bit upward. “You’re letting your bow droop. Try to be mindful of keeping your center and adjusting your bow so it’s completely parallel to the ground.” “Y-yes,” Hinata responded mechanically. “For now, those are all my notes.” Kageyama moved away, grabbing his bow and arrows from where they were resting on the back wall. “…You’re not terrible,” he muttered. Hinata laughed through his nose, taking in Kageyama’s strong, steady shoulders preparing his bow only a few inches away. He reached down to grab two more arrows from the small pile by his feet and tenderly replied, “You suck at giving compliments.” They practiced in comfortable silence for a few hours, with Kageyama remembering to occasionally check in on Hinata’s form and offer some critique. It was half an hour past one when Kageyama and Hinata’s stomachs cried out in hunger, and after sharing knowing glances, they unstrung their bows and began to clean up. “My mom always makes lunch so you’re welcome to come inside to eat if you want…” Kageyama muffled as he finished pulling out all the bows from his target. “For real?” Hinata beamed. “As long as you don't annoy me from now until we finish cleaning.” “I won’t!” Hinata pouted and with newfound determination channeled his focus to the target. After removing the targets and their pegs from the sand hillock, they carefully smoothed it out and returned the targets and tools to the storage space behind the hillock. They then dropped the arrows in their container and changed back to their regular clothing in the small storage room they had used before practice. Getting out of the hakama was much easier and faster than getting in it, and since Hinata had kept his pink tee on, all he had to do was slip back into his light wash jeans. Kageyama took his time getting out of his practice clothes, and so Hinata carefully folded the clothes that were lent to him as he stole peeks at Kageyama. The guy’s choice of weekend wear was a crisp denim short-sleeve button up and well-fitted dark jeans. Hinata looked down at the clothes folded on his lap to avoid staring at him too hard. The clothes really did suit Kageyama, but then again, he would look great in practically anything. “What are you zoning out for?” Hinata shot right up from the bench. “I’m not.” Kageyama grabbed the clothes from Hinata’s hands and dropped it in the bin by the door. “This’ll just go into our next wash. Come on, I’m starving.” Kageyama lead them through the door Hinata always saw him disappear into. Directly past the door was a small shelf to the right filled with house slippers. Kageyama grabbed a pair of navy ones and dropped smaller red ones in front of Hinata. After shuffling into them, they continued down the narrow hallway—house slippers smooth against the polished wood floors. The inside smelled of spice and earth. It was a warm scent that hugged you tight while telling you ‘welcome home’ and it brought a tiny smile to Hinata’s lips to know that this was the kind of place Kageyama was raised in. They passed a few sliding doors lining the hallway but because of the traditional layout of the space, Hinata was unsure where exactly Kageyama was taking them. But soon after turning left at the end of the hallway they reached a big room made up of a beautiful modern kitchen and a contrasting tatami-matted living room area. There, sitting in a glossy walnut 4-person table that divided the two areas was a woman Hinata could immediately tell was Kageyama’s mom. She had straight, shoulder-length black hair and deep blue eyes that were so intensely focused on the magazine she was reading, she didn’t notice them walk in. “Mom.” Kageyama called out as they walked further into the room. She lifted her head and gave them a soft smile. She was stunning. “Oh, Tobio. You and your friend are ready for lunch?” “S-Sorry to intrude!” Hinata managed to get out a notch too loudly. “I’m Hinata.” “You can call me Haruna,” she said with an airy laugh. She got up from the table with her magazine at hand and walked to the kitchen. “I made hamburger steak and fried rice. Sit down, I just need to heat it up so it’ll be ready in a minute.” Hinata stiffly made his way to the dining table and took a seat, only to realize Kageyama had b-lined it to the kitchen. “Uh—“ “What do you want to drink?” Kageyama asked while looking in his fridge. “We have water, sparkling water, oolong, orange juice, and pomegranate juice.” “Sparkling water, please.” Half a minute later Kageyama set a glass of sparkling water and a pair of chopsticks in front of Hinata. He took the seat across from him at the dinner table and set down his own cup with milk. “What?” Kageyama asked once he caught Hinata staring at his cup. “Do you want some?” “Uh, no.” Hinata shook his head, a bit bewildered. “This boy drinks so much milk we have to keep three or four cartons in the fridge at once,” Haruna said teasingly as she set a plate of food in front of each of them. “We thought he’d outgrow it yet even in university he still drinks at least two glasses of milk each day.” Hinata licked his lips and loudly clapped his hands, “Thank you for the food!” Halfway through a mouthful of hamburger and rice he muffled, “Why do you still drink so much milk? You’re already super tall.” Kageyama quietly clapped his hands and shrugged, chopsticks first going for the small bowl of salad Haruna had just placed in front of him. “I like the taste. It’s not weird.” Hinata chuckled and nodded. “Sure.” “So, Hinata-kun,” Haruna began as she took the seat next to Kageyama. “Do you go to the same university as Tobio?” Hinata drank a sip of his sparkling water before responding. “Yeah, but we never run into each other at school since I’m in the Education department and he’s in Business Administration.” “So how did you two become friends?” “Hinata spied on me while I practiced kyūdō one night.” “Don’t make me sound like some weirdo!” Hinata whined. “It’s not like that, Haruna-san. I was distracted on my way home and came upon the shrine, and was drawn in by Kageyama’s tsurune.” Haruna’s lips pulled up at the corners with pride. “It’s striking, is it not? I can sometimes catch it from here when he practices and there’s no lovelier sound.” “Mom…” Kageyama sighed, hand covering his reddening face. “It’s almost narcissistic of you to say that since you were the one who first taught me,” he muttered through his hands. “Your sound is your own, Tobio.” “Wait—“ Hinata choked on his last bit of rice, “You’re his coach?!” Haruna waved her hand in front of her face dismissively, “No, no. Not anymore. I taught him when he was younger since his father was too busy attending to the shrine, but he perfected his skills though his father’s teachings and his own hard work later on.” “Still!” Hinata urged, “It’s so amazing that both of Kageyama’s parents are kyūdōka!” Haruna laughed and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Who taught you, Hinata-kun?” “My grandpa,” Hinata said in between the final bites of his salad. “Whenever my team makes it to finals, he’s come watch along with my grandma and the rest of my family.” “That’s wonderful.” Haruna playfully pets Kageyama’s head. “We wish this boy would act more his age and participate in the university team, but he stubbornly refuses for some reason.” Kageyama pulled Haruna’s hand off his head. “I told you already. I shoot better alone.” “Yet you were just practicing happily with Hinata half an hour ago,” Haruna pointed out with a teasing smile, arms crossed. “That’s different!” Kageyama stammered. Hinata’s cheeks flushed a light pink yet he didn’t hide it, brandishing a wide smile. “No need to get so flustered, Kageyama.” Kageyama stared daggers at him. “You, quiet.” “Such an awkward boy…” Haruna murmured to herself as she shook her head and fondly smiled. She stood up, picking up Hinata and Kageyama’s larger plates and bringing them to the sink. “Can you bring the rest of the dishes here?” “Thank you for the meal!” they said in unison, and brought their cups, chopsticks, and small plates to the kitchen. “It was very delicious.” Hinata added as he passed his dishes to Haruna. “Thank you, Hinata-kun.” Haruna turned her head toward Kageyama, arching an eyebrow. “You’re lucky I already know how you feel from that elated expression you wear every time I set food in front of you.” Kageyama laughed through his nose and set his plates in the sink. “It was delicious.” “If only you were this cute when Hinata wasn’t around…oh, talking about precious—“ Kageyama’s eyes widened in panic and he slapped his hands on the counter. “Mom, no.“ “—are you coming to our shrine’s spring festival tonight, Hinata-kun?” Hinata blinked a few times, looking from Kageyama’s horrified expression to Haruna’s mischievous one. “You guys are having a spring festival?” “Yes, around this time every spring we hold a spring festival to pray for a successful harvest. As well as to honor our shrine’s deity, Hachiman, the protective god of warriors, archery, and agriculture.” Now done with the dishes, Haruna dried her hands on a towel hanging beneath the sink. “I’m sure Tobio ‘forgot’ to invite you because he’s a bit embarrassed that he’s participating in the kagura, a traditional Shinto theatrical dance often done during festivals.” “It’s not that I’m embarrassed,” Kageyama contested. “It’s that I doubt Hinata would be interested—“ “I’d love to go!” Hinata chimed, eyes glimmering. Kageyama sighed, eyebrows furrowing. “…Great.” “The precession starts at five and Kageyama’s performance is at six.” Haruna quickly glanced down at her slim black watch. “We have to go help out my husband with preparations now so unfortunately we can’t keep you company any longer, but if you don’t mind killing a few hours around town, I’m sure the festival will be worth your time.” “Sure, I don’t mind. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time when you’re busy, Haruna-san.” “It was my pleasure. I’m glad Tobio has such a cute kid as a friend.” Hinata’s smile couldn’t get wider so he awkwardly gave them a half-bow and walked backwards toward the hallway. “I can let myself out! Kageyama, I’ll see you tonight.” “You really don't have to—“ “Bye!” And Hinata was gone, practically speed walking to the dojo and nearly tripping over his sneakers by the side door. He slung his bag and bow quiver on his back and stepped out, closing the door behind him. He descended the shrine stairs with a childish pep to his step, buzzing with excitement. Not only did he love any kind of festival, but tonight’s would also have the added bonus of letting him see another side of Kageyama. It was hard to imagine that rigid guy dancing around a stage, but Hinata was sure he’d look handsome and just as graceful as he did doing kyūdō. He mentally pasted Kageyama’s face onto the performers of the few kagura dances he had stored in his memory and hummed to himself as he walked to the station. With the many stores located inside the station, it’d be easy to kill the two hours and a half he had until the festival. His first stop was bookstore where he took his time browsing the sports magazine and shounen manga sections. He left the store with a magazine that featured interviews with a few renowned physical trainers and news on recent breakthroughs in sports medicine. He went into the café a few feet away, ordered a matcha latte, and sat down to sip it while reading his magazine. He spent an hour there, and spent the last 45 minutes he had to kill aimlessly walking around the station and inspecting the dollar items in Daiso. The procession began a few moments after Hinata crossed the red gates at the top of the stairs and cleansed his hands at the water ablution pavilion. The modest line of shrine staff was lead by the head priest who was dressed in an impressive silk ivory robe, deep blue trousers, and a peaked cap. He had short black hair and dark grey eyes, standing tall and elegant as he walked holding his ceremonial wand. Though Hinata already knew that the head priest of Kageyama’s father, the aura and looks alone would have made it easy to guess. Behind him followed two other priests in linen white robes and purple trousers, then two young shrine maidens in their white kimono jackets and red hakama, and four men in white robes and trousers carrying the divine palanquin used to transport their deity Hachiman. Finally, at the end of the procession, was Kageyama. Similar to the shrine maidens he wore a white kimono jacket but his hakama was light blue. He looked good. Really good. Hinata stood to the side as he was supposed to. The townspeople observing the procession that wanted to follow along always walked at either side of it and at a distance. There were many other townspeople that preferred to briefly watch the procession once it approached an area close to their home, since the route was always predetermined to block out vehicles. The head priest led the procession down through the red gates, down the shrine steps, and to the right in the direction of the top of the shaded road. The sky was light hues of pink and blues with the diffused golden rays of the setting sun illuminating their way. Once they climbed to the top they continued following the road down again, passing small rice fields and houses, picking up other townspeople along the way. With each street they walked they inched closer to the river that ran across the town and finally, probably thirty minutes into the procession, they stopped by the riverbank. There the head priest chanted a few words and the men carrying the divine palanquin dipped it into the river, to bless the water that their townspeople, land, and crops were nourished with. The procession ended with them walking back to the shrine from the same entrance they had left from and returning the divine palanquin to its resting place. The priest chanted a few more words as the last few slivers of the sun’s blue afterglow left them, and the procession came to an end, lanterns sprinkled around the grounds and the light of the food stands fending off the night’s darkness. “Can I get three sticks of pork belly? With just salt and pepper,” Hinata said to the woman attending the grilled beef skewer stand. He was already halfway through the savory pancake he had just gotten moments earlier, and by the time his meat was done he had completely devoured it. He usually had a big appetite, but walking around town for an hour really worked up his hunger. He worked on his skewers as he visited each food stand, wondering what to get next. He decided on fried noodles, and shaved ice as a dessert. Now that his stomach was satisfied and the crowd by the main shrine had lessened, he went to say a prayer. He dropped in a 50-yen coin and—in accordance to the shrine’s customs—he bowed once, clapped twice, and after his prayer, bowed one more time. He didn’t have much he currently wanted so he thanked the gods for his friendship with Kageyama and asked that Kageyama would one day join the university’s kyūdō team. He doubted that even Hachiman could budge the stubborn Kageyama, but he figured he’d ask for his help anyhow. Hinata wanted to get a good spot to watch Kageyama so he quickly paid for a fortune and read it on his way to the kaguraden, the stage for the traditional dances. The thin white paper stated in bold letters: “half curse.” He groaned at his misfortune, but quickly thanked the gods that it wasn’t the worst fortune, just the 3rd from worst. He could somehow work with this. After all, he was able to nab a spot in the front of the crowd forming to watch the performance just fine. He’d just have to tie his fortune to the designated shrine tree and buy an amulet or two before leaving tonight, and maybe his luck could be turned around. The stage had strong wooden beams at each corner, and was open on all sides. A black noren, a flat fabric with a slit down the middle, was hung across the back to serve as the entryway for the performers. Bright warm lights from the ceiling illuminated the stage, and musicians sitting to the right and left sides readied their drums, bells, and flutes. The music began, a unique mix of the lively instruments and a lower pitch chant-singing that was calling forward the great Hachiman. Kageyama lifted the noren and slowly stepped out the slit in the middle, taking dramatic wide steps. He was dressed in elaborate gold and black samurai wear—the most exquisite piece being the golden surcoat with red and white flowers and ridiculously wide shoulders that he layered on top of his armor. He also wore a peaked cap of black silk and white headband from which long hair flowed as he moved. Hinata’s eyes gleamed, filled to the brim with admiration toward the beautiful man dancing on the stage. He unconsciously crumpled the fortune in his hands as his burning gaze watched Kageyama. Yet, there was a prick to his chest. Not again, he mentally chided himself. There was no point in falling this hard for a guy who’d never like you back. As he swayed, high then low, gliding and hopping around the stage, Kageyama also waved two arrows in one hand and a small bow in the other through the air. His weapons where like an extension of his hands and they moved with him, gracefully cutting and floating in the air when the movement called for it. The low vibrato of the chant-singing began again, explaining that Hachiman was the protective god of warriors, archery, and agriculture, and that he was dutifully guarding the rice fields that were ready for harvest. Just then another figure in an intricate red costume and a demon mask leapt out from the noren and the two began to dance around each other as the music quickened its tempo. They fought, with the demon hopping and spinning around Kageyama, and the latter making more grounded movements. After a few minutes, Kageyama won their faceoff by touching the point of his arrow to the demon’s chest and the demon fell dead to the floor. The blaring instruments came to a calm and Kageyama stood proud in the middle of the stage, looking out into the audience. There was the briefest moment of hesitation, but then he swiftly brought two fingers up to his mouth and whistled. A white dove, his trusted familiar, landed on his shoulder and he smiled, quietly receding toward the noren and nimbly disappearing behind it. The crowd roared with loud clapping and cheering. Hinata closed his eyes to find his footing and remember how to breathe again. “Kageyama!” Hinata yelled when he spotted him walking out from the makeshift changing area they had built behind the stage. He had returned to the white kimono jacket and light blue hakama he had been wearing earlier that day. “Hey…” Kageyama muttered as he approached Hinata. His expression was a mix of annoyance and bashfulness. Paying no mind to Kageyama’s current embarrassment, Hinata gave him a wide, blindingly brilliant smile as he bounced up and down. “You were amazing! How much did you practice for that? Do you perform often? You looked so good up there you must have a ton of experience, right? I couldn’t take my eyes—” Kageyama slapped his hands over Hinata’s mouth, ears burning a deep red. “I-I got it. Just stop talking.” Hinata pulled Kageyama’s soft, warm hands away from his lips and nodded, voice teasing. “You’re just as bad at taking compliments as you are at giving them.” Kageyama pulled his hand away, but not before giving Hinata a gentle flick on the forehead. “I know. My mom tells me I need to work on that like every other week.” “Good.” Hinata gestured toward the food stands. “Are you hungry? I ate already but I can always eat more.” “Yes, I’m starving. Let’s hit the takoyaki stand first.” Kageyama rushed them to that first stand, and to a handful more until he’d devoured enough to entertain conversation again. He’d visited the same stands Hinata had gone to a few hours earlier since they were all festival favorites, yet Hinata couldn’t help but buy two more grilled beef skewers. They munched on their food as the walked away from the busy food area and in the direction of main shrine. “Oh! Hold this for a moment,” Hinata passed Kageyama his last half-eaten beef skewer. “And don't eat it,” he warned. He walked over to a tree whose low hanging branches were covered in tied up fortune paper strips. It was customary for shrines to designate specific trees where people could tie up their unlucky fortunes. Not all the fortunes tied up were bad, many were average, and perhaps some were good—but it was suggested to those who drew good fortunes to carry it around with them. Hinata folded the strip of paper a few times the long way and looked around for an available spot on the tree. The lower branches were all weighed down and busy, but the higher branches had plenty of space. He went on his tippy toes to try to reach a higher branch but it was just an inch or two out of his grasp. “Let me help,” Kageyama muttered. He held the clean end of the skewer between his teeth and put a hand on each of Hinata’s sides, raising him up like a little kid. “W-wait, Kageyama, this is embarrassing!” Hinata yelled, cheeks burning up by the second. “Just hurry up,” Kageyama growled, though it came out a bit muffled because of the stick in his mouth. Hinata promptly tied the strip and let out a sigh of relief when Kageyama let him down. He turned around with a pout. “Thanks…” “Here,” Kageyama said with a tiny laugh from his nose and handed Hinata back his skewer. Hinata stared at the wooden stick that had just been in Kageyama’s mouth, and shrugged, accepting it. It’s not like he minded sharing some germs with the guy he liked. He polished off the last few pieces of beef and threw the skewer out. They continued walking past the main shrine and to a peaceful spot under the trees lining the outer perimeter of the shrine grounds. They sat on an empty stone bench, a small lantern a few inches away blanketing them in flickering warmth. “So,” Hinata started, legs straight out and swaying in front of him. “You want to know how bad my fortune was?” “If you say Great Curse I’d actually be impressed since I have yet to see anyone get that.” Hinata shook his head. “No, I got Half-Curse, which is still pretty bad. I’m planning on buying an amulet later.” Kageyama leaned forward in his seat, eyes meeting Hinata’s. “I can help you pick one out if you want….” “You would?” “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.” Hinata grinned and gave a short nod. “Okay then, thanks. I’d love your help.” They let momentary silence settle in between them. It was a beautiful clear night, and even with the bright lights from the lanterns and food stands, they could see the stars sprawling across the sea of deep blue and black above them. “…My mom was a bit too much during lunch today, wasn’t she?” Kageyama said, eyes still searching the sky. “I never bring anyone over so she got really excited.” “What? No way, she was great!” Hinata exclaimed and turned his upper body a bit toward Kageyama. “Her cooking was delicious and she was so pretty, too. Between Haruna-san and your dad, I can see why you came out so handsome.” Kageyama looked to the ground and rubbed the back of his neck. “You say things like that so easily. I don’t know how you do it.” “I’m just honest to a fault,” Hinata admitted. He bit his bottom lip and faced forward again, bending his knees so his feet were planted on the ground. “My mouth always says what I’m thinking before I can stop it.” “I don’t mind it, although you’re annoying sometimes. At least you’re easy to understand.” Hinata gave a nervous chuckle. “Then you should learn a bit from me. I wish you were easier to understand.” “I can’t help you there,” Kageyama sulked, crossing his arms across his chest. “Hey, Kageyama.” Hinata murmured as he gripped the edge of the bench. Like a band aid, he said to himself. Just rip it off. “…What would you think if I said I liked you?” He ducked his head and peeked over at Kageyama. Kageyama’s expression went blank for a nanosecond, then pensive, and then finally to brow-furrowing confusion. “But you say it all the time, right? You’re always going on about how you love my form?” There you have it. What reaction was he even expecting from Kageyama… “I do say it all the time, don’t I?” Hinata laughed dryly and stared down at his lap. He swallowed a few times so his voice was steady. “It’s just the most beautiful form I’ve ever seen…it was love at first sight.” Kageyama’s lips curled up into a tiny smile and he sighed, diving his hand into the mess of orange hair on Hinata’s head. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that one before.” He would have been overjoyed over this sweet gesture before today—before he realized how stupidly deep he had already fallen for this perfect, oblivious, kyūdō-idiot beside him. But right now all he needed was to get away. The air was suffocating. “It’s late. I should go home.” Hinata stated and got up, hands clutching the straps of his bag and bow quiver. “What about your amulet? I thought—“ “I can come back some other day,” Hinata muttered and looked up briefly to offer a forced smile. “Good night.” And without waiting another second, he bolted. He made it as far as the bottom of the shrine steps before the hot tears that were long threatening to spill made their way down his face. He should be proud, really, that he held them back that long. He rubbed at his eyes as he walked to his bus stop, and kept rubbing while he waited, but the tears wouldn’t stop. Persistent. As if they’d been piling inside him from past heartaches. As if this one hurt the most.

Hinata didn’t visit Kageyama on Monday.

Not on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. And on Friday he mustered up the courage to walk to the steps of the shrine but hastily turned around to dash right back down that road and to his bus stop. He wasn’t purposefully avoiding Kageyama; he just didn’t know how he’d act around him when he saw him. It was so easy for Hinata to be by his side when he was unaware of his own feelings, but with the realization being so raw and fresh, he felt like he’d say something stupid again. He didn’t want to make Kageyama uncomfortable, much less make him annoyed or angry. So he decided that until his feelings settled enough for him to somewhat successfully mask those unneeded emotions, he’d put some space between them. It’s not like Kageyama would mind Hinata not being around. He was probably relieved to get some alone time again. Well…that’s what Hinata initially thought. But on Friday night he got a text from Kageyama asking if he got sick. And he blamed the sickness on Hinata not buying an amulet on the night of the festival. Hinata read the text over and over again, his hand gripping his phone tightly. Kageyama was sweet. And he was caring, in his own way. And that made Hinata even more at a loss of what to do from now on. He needed space to compose himself—space to forget the feelings burning through his chest. So he took advantage of this misunderstanding to buy himself some time and replied to Kageyama with a sick and prayer emoji. A little, tiny, white lie. He distracted himself, diving head first into studying for tests and practicing long hours with his team to prepare for their upcoming tournament. It wasn’t easy, especially since he thought about Kageyama’s advice every time he drew his bow, but it wasn’t excruciating. He could manage. He could work with this, like he has always done. And in that uncertainty, another week went by. Monday afternoon, Hinata spotted Kageyama waiting for him outside the doors for the Education Department building. He ducked behind a locker to stay out of sight, feeling like an idiot all the while doing it. That was the only exit anyone really used, the only other way out the building was through a side door in the basement that was a pain to get to and left him even farther away from the kyūdō dojo. Hinata closed his eyes and roughly tousled his hair. He wasn’t ready. Just a few more days and he’d be all set. And with that, he walked to the stairwell and headed to the basement. When Hinata looked at his phone after practice, he had three new texts from Kageyama. He decided not to read them immediately. Instead, he changed back to his regular clothes and said goodbye to his teammates. Once he was alone, walking on that familiar road, he opened up his messages. From: Kageyama Are you avoiding me? Did I do something for you to be mad at me? I thought you were honest. At least stop being a coward and tell it to my face. Hinata stood on the corner of the third street of the shady road, where he usually turned right at to head to his bus stop, and sighed, pressing the balls of his hands to temples. He was being so fucking stupid. While trying to protect his own feelings, he was hurting Kageyama’s. He ran up the hill and only caught his breath when he was a few feet from the side door of the dojo. After wiping the sweat off his forehead, he quietly opened the door, took his shoes off, and walked further inside. Kageyama was mid-draw, and at least for the moments until that arrow hit his target, he seemed perfectly focused on kyūdō. But immediately after he finished his draw, he set his bow to the side, grabbed something from on top of the small wooden table, and marched toward Hinata. He was furious—eyebrows furrowed deeply enough to give him lasting wrinkles and teeth bared. When Kageyama was about half a foot from Hinata he flung what he had in his hands at him. Hinata shut his eyes, getting barely tapped in the face and chest. When he looked down there were two amulets on the floor, a red one for general good luck and a purple one for good health. Hinata kneeled down to pick them up, flushed expression breaking down, eyes glossy, and lips pressed into a line. “Tell me why you’re avoiding me,” Kageyama demanded, taking a step closer to Hinata. Hinata covered his face with the hand holding the amulets and kept Kageyama at a distance with the other. “I didn’t mean to!” he attempted, voice cracking at the end. “I just…needed some space.” “…Space from me?” Kageyama took a step back. “Did I do something?” “You didn’t do anything.” Hinata lowered his hands to reveal his deeply flushed face and held the amulets to his chest. His shaky golden eyes met Kageyama’s. “You didn’t have to do anything. I just fell for you all on my own.” Kageyama’s eyebrows rose and his face softened in a way Hinata had never seen before. “I see,” he muttered as the understanding nestled in his chest. “So on night of the spring festival, you were actually talking about liking me, not my form?” “And what if I was?” Hinata used every ounce of courage he had left to hold his gaze steady. “What would you say if I told you I like you?” Kageyama let out an exasperated sighed and closed the distance between them, resting his forehead on Hinata’s shoulder. “I’d say that I’m okay with that. That I’d probably need time to catch up to your feelings but that it won’t take me long. Can we stop talking in hypotheticals now?” Hinata chuckled lightly, petting the back of Kageyama’s head with the hand closest to it. “Yeah, I’m not scared anymore.” Kageyama lifted his head and brought a hesitant hand to Hinata’s cheek. He then dropped his hand and grabbed Hinata’s wrist, gently pulling him towards the open side of the dojo. “Come.” They sat down on the floor and let their legs hang off the edge, feet lightly grazing the grass underneath. The sky was just as gorgeous and starry as that spring festival night, but the air felt lighter. Kageyama took his time gathering his thoughts and there were a few false starts, but Hinata patiently waited for him to find the right words. “Even though I’ve been practicing completely alone for so long, I’ve never felt lonely while doing kyūdō,” Kageyama explained while looking down at his hands. “But in the last two weeks of you not being here, I’ve felt like something was lacking.” “You missed me.” It was both a question and an answer. “I did. And it made me feel annoyed and even sad. These are new feelings for me.” Kageyama looked over at Hinata and cautiously, almost curiously, touched the hair above his ears. “I missed this stupid hair and this stupid face.” “Rude!” Hinata laughed and grabbed Kageyama’s hand, holding it between his own. Kageyama slipped his fingers in between Hinata’s, lacing their hands together. “I also wanted to hear your tsurune again. It’s been stuck in my head since we practiced together.” Hinata grinned, his thumb rubbing the back of Kageyama’s hand. “I think it sounds like the chimes in my grandma’s house.” “I can see what you mean.” Hinata slid closer and rested his head on Kageyama’s shoulder, closing his eyes. The night breeze smelled like dew and flowers, and it pleasingly brushed past them. Now unburdened by the tension of an unrequited love and instead embraced by a blooming one, Hinata felt so blissful he could fall asleep right here. But he didn’t want to waste this moment. “Kageyama?” “Hm?” “… Can I kiss you?” Hinata murmured timidly, raising his head to face Kageyama. “Just one kiss?” Kageyama slid one leg up onto the floor of the dojo and turned his body toward Hinata. “Okay,” he replied, closing his eyes. “Go for it.” Hinata held back a laugh as he leaned in, pausing just a few millimeters from Kageyama’s lips. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his eyelids twitched every so often—he was nervous. Hinata held Kageyama’s hands in his own and lightly pressed his lips against his. They were velvety soft. He pulled away after mere seconds, afraid to try to take too much, too fast. Kageyama blinked his eyes open and his lips curled up into sly smirk. “That’s it?” “…You said your feelings need to catch up so I don't want to push too hard,” Hinata replied coyly. “I know I said that but, what are we, elementary kids?” Hinata leaned back and pursed his lips. “If you want more you’ll have to come get it yourself,” he teased. Kageyama scowled but then darted forward, cupping the back of Hinata’s head with his hand and roughly smacking their lips together. Hinata both winced and chuckled at his clumsy irritation, but the humor of it all slowly melted into breathy tension and tender touches. Hinata wrapped the arm that wasn’t propping him up around Kageyama’s neck as their lips glided against each other—easy, unhurriedly. “We should…” Kageyama murmured, giving Hinata one last peck before he pulled away, “stop. For now, I mean. My mom will probably come to check why I’ve been out here for so long.” Hinata nodded hazily. “Right. It’s getting late.” Kageyama reached behind Hinata to grab the amulets he had placed nearby and dropped them into his lap. “Don't forget these.” He then popped up on his feet and extended his hand. Hinata grabbed on and let himself be helped up, smiling. “This means we’re going out, right?” “Yes.” Kageyama said with a genuine laugh. “You’re such a dumbass.” “A dumbass for you,” Hinata sang, throwing in a flirty wink. Kageyama shook his head, surely trying to hide his amusement, and pushed Hinata to the side door. “Go home.” “Yes, mom.” Hinata grabbed his bag and quiver, and stepped into his shoes. “Oh, wait, one more question.” Kageyama looked down at him with an arched eyebrow. “What?” “Can you please consider joining our university team? Just try it for two weeks, please?” “I can’t…” Kageyama sighed. “Come on,” Hinata urged. “Then let’s make a bet! If I can outscore you in even one face off, you have to join the team for at least two weeks.” “There’s no way you’ll ever outscore me.” Hinata put his hands on his hips. “If you’re so sure why don’t you just take the bet? “Okay then, deal,” Kageyama huffed. “And what do I get out of it?” “Well, you made the deal without settling that first, so your loss!” Hinata snickered and opened the door. “Good night!” And in his usual fashion, off he went. “Wha—Hinata!”

The air was filled with the deafening silence of held breaths.

Kageyama released his arrow—steady, gorgeous, reliable—and it danced through the air, piercing deeply into the very center of the target. The stillness stretched on for a beat longer, but then the crowd’s loud cheers shattered the tension. Kageyama lowered his bow and turned, eyes immediately traveling to meet the shimmering gold of Hinata’s. Their five-person team filed out of the dojo in a daze. It wasn’t until they had returned outside and joined the rest of their teammate, that they erupted into a cacophony of victory screams in celebration of them winning first place at the tournament. Hinata jumped into Kageyama’s arms and Kageyama swung him around, hugging him tightly. They could no longer tell which of them was laughing or screaming louder, and it didn’t really matter. What mattered what this feeling. And the many more to come.

#kagehina #haikyuu!!#fanfic #archery au #hq fanfic

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jovialyouthmusic · 5 years

Text

The Many Lives of Drake Walker

After the wedding we discuss our situation. Drake’s previous companion is not based on anyone in particular. This is a short post but I wanted to divide it off from the previous chapter.

5a Wedding Guests cont

Drake’s POV

‘Hey J’ I said as she phased into existence ‘How you doing? You didn’t show yesterday’ I could tell instantly that she wasn’t happy. She took my hand.

‘Hi Drake. We need to talk – how about going to your cabin?’ I swallowed. Things had not been right for J’s last few visits. She had been withdrawn and didn’t engage with me as she used to. I had the awful feeling that she was falling out of love with me. I was helpless, as was my nature I couldn’t help but love her – I had no choice in the matter. I squared my shoulders and stood tall.

‘Okay J, take me there’. We were there in a blink of an eye. It was my favourite place, and various companions had allowed me to make it my own. It was secluded, and I had built it with my own hands – at least I thought I had. My earliest memories were a little sketchy, formless and vague. I had no idea if that was the case in their world, but how can you quantify these things?

I had sprung into the world as a fully grown (If virtual) adult. As the story caught on and folk started writing about myself and the other characters, gaps were filled in and childhood memories began to appear, and I was often ‘online’ or conscious of what was going on. As our popularity grew, my identity as an individual broke off from some of the other Drakes and I chose my own narrative from what was available. It was a character from a previous story that had told me about how to break through the virtual barrier, and after some practice I was able to invite writers that I felt some connection with through the screen. It was a totally safe process and all of them had enjoyed the experience. We both benefitted, as I gained some solidity and control over my location and experiences and they got to live out their fantasies.

So it was with a sense of foreboding that I followed her inside, not sitting out on the front porch as we often did, going over the places we had just been, but inside. She drew up a dining chair from the table, and I did the same, sitting facing her, our knees almost touching. I leaned forward and tried to make eye contact with her, but she avoided my gaze.

‘What gives, J?’ I asked, keeping my voice soft. She sniffled slightly, then drew a deep breath and sat up straight.

‘Drake, there’s no easy way to say this, but I owe it to you to explain. I can’t go on visiting you. It’s over.’ I swallowed, but stayed calm, waiting for her to continue. ‘It’s not that I don’t want you – I do – but I can’t think of anything else. It’s an obsession, and it’s affecting my work and my personal life.’

‘I see’ I said levelly. My heart sank. That meant I had to go back to searching, to times when I got stuck in a scene, my character abandoned or put aside until the writer came back to it. It meant working with puppet Riley, with objects and people fading in and out of existence, of locations half finished. A half life. A companion would take me back to the waiting room, ask me what I wanted to do, write things that were sympathetic to my psyche. A strong one with a clear idea of the story and a substantial following of readers would be able to hold the scenes for longer and we could all stay and ‘play’ for a while, and we would automatically go back to the waiting area when it faded out. Otherwise it was all hit and miss.

‘I just got in a massive argument with my partner’ she said. ‘He told me I was withdrawn and didn’t pay him enough attention. I’m afraid that if I don’t back off he’ll leave me.’ She reached out and took my hands ‘I’m sorry Drake, this will be the last time I come through. We can make the most of it though – shall we go to the bedroom?’

‘Now that’s more what I wanted to hear’ I said. I wanted her to enjoy our last moments together though my heart was breaking, so I squared my shoulders, took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom to give her an experience to remember.

Later when she had faded out for the last time, I got my bottle of whiskey and a tumbler and sat out on the porch, the light fading, and eventually the cabin faded away too and I was back in the waiting room, empty handed and fuzzy headed.

‘…so I never saw her again’ I concluded to Les. ‘That’s when I started looking for you. I don’t want the same thing to happen all over again, that’s all’

My POV

‘I’m so sorry Drake, that must have hurt’ I said ‘Not just because of you losing control, but I can sense you liked her’ He shrugged

‘I guess so. You know I don’t handle emotion well. And liking goes with the job, but it’s only a start – a boost, I can get very attached or I can look on a companion like a sister’

‘Well Drake, you’ve been honest with me, so here’s my side. I’m older than most, my family has left home and it’s just me and my partner. We’ve been together a long time, and he’s been my only sexual partner.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Recently, I went though a rough patch when I went through the menopause – don’t worry, I’m not going to go into details there, but my hormones went a bit out of whack.’ He nodded and I carried on.

‘Long story short, I realised I would probably never sleep with anyone else, so I went for what I wanted with hubby – made an effort, changed things around in the bedroom, and our sexual relationship is good, probably exceptionally good for our age.’ I couldn’t help smirking here, and Drake raised his eyebrows too. ‘But it would be nice to know what it might be like with someone else, and I see this as an opportunity. It’s not going to affect my relationship; I can compartmentalise and you’ll never meet. I’m aware of the pitfalls, and forewarned is forearmed. I don’t want to hurt you either, so as far as I’m concerned it’s win win. Let’s just take it at our own pace and see where it leads, huh?’

‘I guess – we just carry on being ourselves and feeling our way, talking it through’ he said, squeezing my knee.

‘Until one day – there won’t be any need to talk’ I said ‘ with any luck’ and I followed up with a wink. My hand was starting to fade out again. He sighed and took a sip from his hip flask.

‘Bye Les – see you next time’ and I closed my eyes to weather the transition back to my own space.

@ao719 @agent-bossypants @andy-loves-corgis @sleepwalkingelite @boneandfur @blackcatkita @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicescommunity @darley1101 @drakewalkerrosenberg @debramcg1106 @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @goirishsunshine @gardeningourmet @livingthroughchoices @likethetailofacomet @mrs-nazario @mind-reader1 @ooo-barff-ooo @silviasutton1989 @speedyoperarascalparty @zaffrenotes @missevabean @mrsdrakewalkerblog @cora-nova @missameliep @tanelle83 @endlessly-searching-for-you @jlouise88 @drakenazario @tabithacarlisle @furiousherringoperatortoad @notoriouscs @classylady1234 @wickedgypsymoon @carabeth @choices-fangirl @indiana-jr @indiacater @noey718-blog @katedrakeohd @bobasheebaby @annekebbphotography @kennaxval @sirbeepsalot @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @aworldoffandoms @iplaydrake @drakesensworld @drakewalkerisreal @samcpossum @melodyofgraves

#the many lives of drake walker #drake walker #drake x oc #royal romance au #the royal romance au

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fangirlovestuff · 3 years

Text

A Very Colin Christmas - Colin Shea x reader

Ch. 5 - All I Want For Christmas...

a/n - hey lovely people!! merry christmas to all who celebrate it, and i hope everyone had / is having a wonderful day. sorry this is a little later than i usually post, but hey - it’s still today:) Enjoy!<3

ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4

Summary: You have something you need to tell Colin, but you don’t really know how he’d react...

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: curse words i think, innuendos

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"Merry Christmas guys! Goodnight!" you said as you grabbed your jacket.

"I'll escort you downstairs," Colin hastily got up as well and followed you outside.

"What's up?" you asked him as you unlocked the door to your apartment as quietly as you could.

"Are you alright?" he asked you, and you mentioned for him to be quiet before ushering him into your apartment.

"I'm fine," you shrugged. "Is that all? Because you should probably go back to –"

"Are you sure?" he looked into your eyes as if looking for something. "Because you were acting a little weird this evening, and I just wanna make sure it's not because I crossed any boundaries or the kiss yesterday or whatever…" he trailed off, looking at you expectantly.

"No, you uh, you didn't cross any boundaries or whatever. If you hadn't kissed me it would've seemed weird and blown our cover," you chuckled nervously.

"Then what aren't you telling me?" he insisted.

"Nothing you'd wanna hear," you mumble, and then, louder, add, "I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"I do wanna hear," he put his arm on your shoulder. "I know you're just my pretend girlfriend, but –"

Your chuckle cut him off. "See, it's all pretend, so you can go back to your family now."

"Are you regretting this? Is that what this is about? Is my family too much or something?"

"No, Colin, you're too much," you shrug helplessly and step away from him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he frowned, his hand falling to his side.

"It means pretending to be your girlfriend sucks for me," you lamented, "because if I didn’t wanna just pretend, you'd never want that."

"Do you? Want it to be more than just pretend?" he asked, his jaw clenching.

You just stared into his eyes and sighed, your eyes nearly filling with tears as you shrugged in defeat and nodded slightly.

"Tell them I can't come tomorrow. That a work thing popped up. Sorry," you said after a moment, looking away from him and at the floor.

Wordlessly, he left your apartment, closing the door behind him. A tear escaped your eye, but you wiped it away and let out a ragged breath. Now that he knows, he's not going to talk to you ever again. But it's whatever, right? It's not like you actually broke up with your boyfriend.

It was all just pretend.

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The next day, you didn't leave your apartment in fear of running into any of them. Instead, you stayed in, watching Christmas movies and munching on snacks. That was, after all, your original plan.

In the afternoon, you heard a bunch of voices coming from the hall. You couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but you did hear one 'goodbye', which told you they were finally going away. Not that them going away would change your predicament, but still, it was a comfort knowing you could now step out of your apartment if you wanted to.

Right now though, that was the last thing you wanted to do. You waited out the entire day in your apartment, wallowing in self pity. You could afford one day.

The next morning, you were up early, thinking there wasn't a chance of you running into anyone on your way to the mall. You had the day off of work, and you were planning on spending it doing some… consumerism therapy.

But as you were locking the door behind you, you heard the sound of the door on the other side of the hall opening. For a split second, you thought about pretending you were actually coming back and just getting into your apartment, but it was too late as you heard Colin call your name.

"Good morning," he said. You turned around to find him half naked, with only his pants on, and god you did not want to have this conversation like that.

"Hi," you answered, averting your gaze to the contents of your bag, pretending to rummage around in it. You started walking towards the stairs, and you were just about to walk down when –

"Can we talk? Please?" Colin asked.

"We just did," you feigned an innocent smile, but before you could take another step down he stepped forward and grabbed your wrist. You turned around sharply but the words got stuck in your throat once you saw how close to you he was, looking up at his sincere blue eyes.

"Please? I have coffee inside if you want some."

You could just walk away. It's not like you owed him anything. But… you did owe it to yourself. Some sort of closure would be nice, and also, you can't possibly avoid your closest neighbor for the rest of your stay in this apartment and you can't really buy another one.

"I would like some coffee," you shrugged and followed him back into his apartment.

The Christmas decorations were still up, but you didn't have much Christmas spirit in you as you sat down in front of Colin, blowing on your mug a little before taking a sip.

"So?" you simply asked, raising your eyes to meet his.

"So…" he chuckled nervously, "I guess I just wanted to talk to you about the other day. I know my family kind of freaked your out and I'm sorry."

"Yeah, um, it's fine," you answered airily. "Anything else?"

"I mean, there was the matter of, well," he scratched the back of his neck, "us?"

"What about 'us'?" you chuckled.

"You know, just that, what you said wh-"

"Look, I'm sorry. We don't have to bring it up. We're just neighbors. I did you a favor. It's alright, really."

"But what if I do want to bring it up?"

You clenched your jaw, ready to retaliate but then he spoke up again, "I mean, this weekend… look, I love my family, but I rarely like them. Having you here made it bearable. And well," he looked down, "it made me realize I do want a girlfriend. Or something. And uh, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to have dinner sometimes. With me." He flashed you a quick smile that faded as he anxiously awaited your response.

"The fact that you want a girlfriend is nice for you. But I don't… I don't know if… Colin, I don't want someone who will walk out on me every time things get serious, or emotional," you took a breath, "and you did."

"I only walked out because I didn't know what I wanted. It seemed like the right thing to do. But now I do know." He grabbed your hand in his and this time, you didn't pull away. That seemed to give him courage as he continued. "I want you. And I can't absolutely promise you that I will do grand romantic things, or talk about my feelings for you every day, but that doesn't mean they're not there. I don't think I'm a great boyfriend, mostly because I haven't been one in years, but I can promise to try," he smiled hesitantly.

You smiled back at him. "I don't need grand romantic things. If we do this, I just need you to want it as much as I do," you said, sincere.

"I probably want this more than you do," he winked, and you snorted. "So, what do you say, dinner?" he asked.

"Yeah, dinner. But be ready to have actual conversation. I don't put out on the first date," you smirked.

"Oh, I'm not worried. Because when you do, it's gonna be so," he leaned closer, his voice dropping down an octave, "so worth it," he smirked.

You raised your eyebrow at him, "Alright. I'm gonna go, but I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll pick you up at eight," he smiled and you chuckled. You just got up and you were ready to leave, when –

"Look up," Colin, who came to stand next to you suddenly said.

You did, to find the mistletoe, still intact. Before you could say anything, Colin crashed his lips on yours, and this time you readily leaned into his toned body, which now you remembered was still shirtless, and you gasped slightly at the impact of his lean body meeting yours. His tongue slipped past your lips, and you wrapped your arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. When you broke apart, he brought his hand up to caress your cheek with his thumb.

"One for the road," he whispered, and you couldn't contain your giggle.

"See you," you licked your swollen lips and went outside.

You didn't what was going to happen. Sure, your and Colin's story had what some would call a rocky beginning, and you didn't know anything about the end. But there was one thing you were sure of – Colin Shea looks fucking hot with his shirt off.

But for real, his little speech gave you a very good feeling. See, you know what Colin Shea looks like when he flirts with his one-night-stands, and this?

This was different. Better. And you couldn't wait to have that with him.

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that’s it for this series! i’d really love to hear your thoughts!! as for what comes next, i wanted to participate in a bunch of holiday challenges but december is nearly over and i have a very busy week in front of me so i don’t know if i’d make it in time:( but i don’t think this is the last time you’ll hear from me (my writing, anyways) before the new year<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000 @anobscurename @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @peggycarter-steverogers @evansphnx12

A Very Colin Christmas Taglist: @janaygrant

if you wanna join / be removed from a taglist, comment/message me! much love <3

#chris evans x reader #colin shea x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you #chris evans fluff #colin shea x female reader #colin shea

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poachedhazontoast · 5 years

Text

A Case of Mistaken Identity (2)

rWord Count: 2,000

Warnings: None that I can think of!

Summary: Charlotte has a lot of explaining to do.

Read part one here!

A/N: Oof. BIG OOF. This took me such a long time to piece together. It has been almost a month since I initially intended on posting it. Since that time, I have written it and scrapped it almost three times. I have promised and failed to deliver twice. It’s just been a complete mess. I think the biggest reason for this was that I just. Didn’t like where this one was going. At all. I felt almost obligated to do it though, because I had already promised it. If there is one thing I have told myself, it’s that I can never break a promise. No matter how late I finally get around to it. All that being said, this is not my best work. Many many people enjoyed the last one, and I think I put way too much pressure on myself to make this one just as enjoyable. There probably won’t be a part 3, as this one was so much of a struggle in itself. I sincerely hope you enjoy it. From this point forward, everything that I am writing in December has been completed and pre-uploaded. You can expect things on the following dates: 12/11, 12/17, 12/25, 12/29, and 12/31. They should all be up in time, and I will be checking in on those days to be sure that they go up without any problems. I hope you all enjoy this, and you can all expect much better things to come x)

-Sydney

~~~~

I’m not sure how long I stand there in complete silence, staring at the three people in front of me with shock spread across my features. It feels like hours, though I’m sure it’s only a minute or two before I finally make an attempt to speak.

“You- I- Wha..?” Having put that so eloquently, I quickly snap my mouth shut and think before attempting to string together another sentence. My mind is racing with fifty million thoughts and questions, but one towers far above the rest: Why didn’t she tell me? No matter how many different ways I look at the situation, I can’t for the life of me find an answer to this conundrum.

My eyes take a sweep across the room, assessing the three people that stand in there with me. I note with a sudden surge of appreciativeness that they all appear to be watching me closely, and I know that they will give me the time I need to process the situation before putting in their two cents. First my gaze lands on Tom, who looks as if he doesn’t know whether to laugh or sink into the floor, never to be seen again. I slowly evaluate the features on his face and begin to wonder how I could ever think he was related to Charlotte in any way. His eyes were far too brown, his hair far too dark, and his gaze far too innocent. I smirk inwardly at this observation. Yes. There is no way that this man is related to the rambunctious woman that is my roommate.

The taller man standing next to him, however, definitely is. There’s no doubt about it. Everything from his bright blue eyes and his dimpled cheeks to the mischievous air that radiates around him screams Osterfield.

Looking at him makes me remember Charlotte, and I finally settle my sights on her, feeling my gaze turn from a curious look into a stone-cold glare. The longer I glare at her, the more I can feel the embarrassment from before settling in at last. There’s no way that I can just ignore what happened. Tom already witnessed the whole thing, and I know that there’s no use in trying to play it off as an extended joke. No, I’ll have to acknowledge it at some point.

But that can wait until after I chew Charlotte out.

“Lottie, a word?” I grit my teeth as I grab Charlotte’s forearm and begin to drag her into the hallway. I don’t let go until we’ve reached my room and I’ve heard the slam of the door behind us, separating us from the ears of the boys outside. I feel a momentary flood of relief as I flop backwards onto my bed. I close my eyes and heave out a massive sigh.

After many seconds of trying (and failing) to erase the memories of earlier from my mind, I begin to feel the tell-tale burn of Charlotte staring at me. I consider letting her suffer for a little while longer, but my desperation to know what’s going on eventually wins out. I open my eyes and return her stare with a passion. I finally open my mouth to speak, but am cut off shortly by the flood of words coming from Charlotte’s mouth.

“I know you must be thinking that I’m an absolute bitch right now. I should have told you about Harrison and Tom. But the more I got to know you the more I realized that I kind of like being friends with somebody who doesn’t know about my brother. I never had to worry about you bugging me to meet Tom or changing the way you treat me because I have a sibling who travels the world with his best friend. To you, I was completely normal. I liked that.” With that she falls silent, her eyes full of anxiety.

I thought I knew what I had wanted to say to her, what I wanted to ask her, but all of that has left my head now. Was she really worried that I would use her to get to her brother’s best friend? I think about all the times she tried so hard to keep her personal life away from me, about how irritated she gets when her brother is brought up in conversation.

I reach out and grab her hand, pulling her towards me in a hug so sudden that I feel the breath being knocked from her body. I squeeze her until she begins to flail her arms about, and even then, I only let up slightly. A strange noise makes its way to my ears, and it takes me a second longer than it should have to realize that it isn’t coming from a small animal, but from the small girl that I’ve been holding for far too long.

“Nd… rrrr… cnt… brth…”

Oops.

I release her from my tight grip and lean back against my bed, all the while watching as she sputters and gasps for air. I wait until she has gathered herself, lightly tapping my foot against the wall across from me. Finally, after what feels like hours, she sits up and stares at me expectantly. I take this as my cue to speak.

“You know I would never do that to you, right?” I’m not sure what she was expecting me to say, but I can tell by the look on her face that it wasn’t this. “Because I honestly couldn’t care less who you’re related to. You could be the pope’s niece for all I care. None of that will change the fact that you’re my best friend. I’m here because of you, not because of your family. Also, I’ve known that you were a bitch for a long time now, this doesn’t change any of that.”

“Wha- Hey!” The sound of laughter filling the room puts me at ease. I know now that everything will be okay between the two of us. But with that conversation out of the way, I’m left to think about my first ever meeting with Tom and I know that it can be avoided no longer. I let out an overly exaggerated groan and bury my face in my hands. It only takes me a couple of minutes to explain my situation to Charlotte. As expected, though, she really isn’t much help at all.

“The only way to deal with it is to just get up and face him!” She says as she grabs my hand and begins to drag me towards the door. I dig my feet into the carpet below me in an attempt to stop moving forward, but my efforts are fruitless. Finally, she stops yanking and instead grabs me by the shoulders and turns me around to face her. “Look. If it makes you feel any better, I think he likes you.”

“Wh- How is that supposed to make me feel any better?” I frantically run my shaking hands through my hair. “What makes you think that he feels anything but pity for me?”

She gives me that look, the one that makes me believe that she knows everything about everyone and that nothing she ever says could possibly be wrong. “Look. I’ve known the man for almost four years now. I know what he looks like when he sees something that he likes. And believe me, he was just looking at you like you were the last minced pie left over on Christmas Eve after your Uncle Jerry eats the rest of the box. He wants you. Trust me.”

I simply stare at her and consider this for a minute.

“Why do all of your analogies include pie?” I finally ask. I honestly don’t know what else to say. She has pulled all other coherent thought from my mind. He wants me? Of course he doesn’t. I’ve just made a complete fool out of myself in front of him. No man in his right mind would consider taking me out after witnessing that. Then again, perhaps he isn’t in his right mind. He did, after all, willingly pretend to be a completely different person just so that I wouldn’t find out the truth about him.

Perhaps he and Charlotte are more alike than I initially thought.

“Really? I tell you all of that and all you got from it was the pie?” She stares at me incredulously for a moment. “Unbelievable. Come on, we’re going.” Before I can let out another word of protest, she pulls open the door and shoves me out of it. I expect to stumble into the empty hallway, but instead I stumble right into…

Tom. Yet again. Luck is not on my side today.

I quickly straighten myself before stepping back. I wish I could run away and be anywhere but here, but in my current situation it’s impossible. My room is right at the end of the hallway, so I can’t run to the right. I have Charlotte blocking the doorway behind me, Harrison is directly to my left, and Tom is standing between me and the way to the bathroom. I’m trapped. We all stand silently for a few moments, simply observing one another. It quickly becomes rather apparent that Harrison and Tom were very recently crouched outside of my door, listening in on our conversation through the keyhole. The thought of Tom hearing everything that Charlotte told me immediately makes my face turn bright red, and I can tell by the shade spread across his cheeks that he’s thinking of the same thing.

“Go on then, mate, ask her-“

“If you’re not gonna talk to him then get out of my way, I’m starving-“

The silence is broken by the siblings speaking simultaneously. They truly are on the same wavelength. If their intention was to snap us out of our embarrassed stupor, it does not work. If anything, it only makes us even more flustered, and we both seem to be finding the floor incredibly interesting at the moment.

A massive sigh comes from the left of me. “Fine, if you’re not going to do anything, I will.” Harrison turns to his younger sister with a cheery grin on his face. “Charlotte! My friend would like to ask your friend on a date.” His hand flies out to cover Tom’s mouth with astonishing speed, silencing his thinly veiled protests before they can even begin. “Would your friend like to say yes to this?”

Charlotte opens her mouth before I can even begin to process the question. “Harrison! My dear brother! I think that my friend would very much like to go on a date with your friend! Isn’t that right Y/N?” I send a glare in her direction before shyly looking over at Tom. Harrison has now removed his hand, but he still isn’t saying much. His mouth is silently opening and closing, sentences ending before they can even begin. Finally, he shakes his head in resolve and looks me dead in the eye.

“I’d um… Really like it if you would.” He trails off slightly and looks down at the floor again. I wait a few moments before nodding my head in agreement.

“O-okay. But you’re paying.” He snaps his head up to grin at me. I only catch a split second of this before Charlotte is in front of me once again, tapping her toes against the ground impatiently.

“Great. Lovely. Really adorable. Now, can we please eat? I’m ravenous.” She grabs me by the arm and starts pulling me away towards the kitchen. I finally allow myself to let the situation sink in, and the laughter soon starts escaping me.

Perhaps my luck isn’t so bad after all.

~~~~

A/N: The following is a list of people who either reblogged part one or specifically requested a part two. I’m sorry for the wait. Thank you for all of your support :)

@screeching-student-unknown, @hollandcentral, @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover, @ixchel-9275, @choke-me-sweet-pea, @virgo-psycho, @giraffeofaperson, @spiderman-n, @dottirose,

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

Text

Hee hee hee...

... I found a Zi-O 14 raw...

I’m gonna watch it!

(I’m still tired though, so this’ll likely be a speed through and then I’ll do another post later, but anyway, more below!)

(So it turns out I lied. I got way to into the episode. Sorry.)

In no order:

YES! Geiz you softie, I knew it. Even if you’re gonna defend it by saying it’s bc you want to be the one to kill him or whatever, I knew you weren’t gonna leave it at that.

It’s making me think of something from the musical ep of Buffy (disclaimer: I have not actually watched Buffy I just have the music from that ep bc... I love show tunes. No. Really. That’s why.). Weird comparison, I know, but hear me out--Spike’s got this line that goes (w/ some less applicable parts removed) ‘I hope she fries ... I better help her out.’ Literally, I feel like that's what happened here. Geiz is like ‘I totally do not care at all that he is dead, absolutely not, not for any reason whatsoever, I’m going to leave now good-bye. ............ OkaymaybeI’mgonnagosavehim. But only bc I want to be the one to kill him. Not bc I care at all in any way even a little bit.’

RYUKI!

Yeah, yeah. I know it’s just Tsukasa, but, I mean... Ryuki.

Aw, he did the henshin kinda like how Takeru used to do it. ^^ God, Tsukasa, what are you doing giving me warm fuzzies?

THREE GHOST NO WAITING.

TSUKASA LOOK WHERE YOU’RE THROWING YOUR SHIT GO PICK THAT SWORD UP RIGHT NOW!

NO! MY BABY! WHY HAVE THE LAST THREE TAGS BEEN IN ALL CAPS?

Okay, yeah, but... We already know Takeru has one/it. So... Hm. Does Tsukasa know that? At this point I just never take anything this man says or does at face value, so...

Ooop. Yup. Guessing he dropped that on purpose. What is your plan here, Tsukasa?

SOUGO JUST LOADED TAKERU INTO THE TIME MAJIN. HE’S MAKING HIM DRIVE. I LOVE THESE TWO GOOFBALLS THEY ARE SO CUTE.

Wait. Is future¡nonRider¡Takeru gonna meet past¡Rider¡Takeru?

OH. Oh... Wow. Okay. Not the plan I was expecting to be implemented. A... Apparently Takeru’s new Force Push works on physical stuff, too. Alright then! Sure, I’ll take it!

WAIT IF GHOST SOUGO ISN’T THERE HOW IS TAKERU GONNA GET BACK???

Oh, hey Woz. I guess. He seems... A little frustrated about something?

Sougo, why are you making a face like you got caught talking in class? You don’t have to feel bad about this. You did a good. A... Side from semi-stranding Takeru in the past?

Wait... If the incident never occurred, then Another Ghost was never created, then Takeru never lost his memories, then he never got deRidered... But the Ghost Watch exists so he should still be deRidered.... Augh! I knew I didn’t have the brain for this time travel stuff! I’m gonna stop thinking about it.

And now Uhr (or whatever his name is) is gonna pout. Which is probably gonna be destructive.

But also... MAKOTO!!!

Though... Why is Makoto here? Though, I guess I’m not sure when exactly this would fall during Ghost, since we weren’t given any timeline indication for it. Seems to be after Takeru and Makoto made up, though... I guess he was in the area? And then saw Takeru getting attacked.

Yeah, okay, so he’s still Spectre, which means the Ghost timeline hasn't been erased yet.

Aw, and he doesn’t know it’s not the Takeru from his time. So... Are we gonna have two Takeru’s? I’m curious.

IT JUST APPEARED! NOW IF PAST¡TAKERU SHOWS UP WE WILL HAVE FIVE FOUR GHOSTS!!!

Unfortunately, we lost one bc Tsukasa is a dick.

I’m assuming Takeru’s memories are back, too.

Makoto is just staring at him (looking absolutely fantastic, might I add) like ‘dude wtf are you okay? What’s going on?’

THEY DID THE POSES THEY SAID THE THINGS

Uhr, why are you surprised? Did you not do your research or something? YOU PICKED A FIGHT W/ THE ACTUAL KAMEN RIDER GHOST.

I realise this is all gonna get erased by the end of this (come to think if you erase the Ghost Timeline... What happens to Makoto and Kanon? I mean, Takeru never dies... Do they never get sucked into Gamma? Bc the accident never occurs, or bc Gamma never exists? And if Gamma never exists... What about Alain? And his family? Oh Dear.) so this won’t happen, but it’s really funny think about Makoto mentioning this to the Takeru of the past later and having 2015¡Takeru be like ‘Makotonii-chan wth are you talking about?’ and Makoto is like ‘Wth do you mean wth? YOU WERE THERE!’

SWARTZ JUST SHOWS UP TO SCOLD HIM. I love this evil time manipulating family that hates each other.

Okay, but Uhr is gonna turn the brother into Another Ghost anyway... But now he’s not dead, so destroying the Another Ride Watch isn’t a moral dilemma anymore.

And there go Makoto and Takeru.

EXCEPT THAT’S TAKERU FROM THE FUTURE HOW IS HE GETTING BACK.

Wait... Is Geiz still in 2015? Maybe he can give him a hand.

Sougo, did you just realise that Woz does not actually have your best interests in mind? I’ve known that since nigh ten episodes ago.

I feel like Makoto was either just like ‘Takeru what the hell is going on?’, ‘What are you doing here?’ or, ‘Weren’t you wearing something else half nd hour ago?’ (okay, probably not that last one). And now Takeru is scrambling bc he can’t very well be like ‘yeah I’m actually Takeru from the future who forgot he was a Kamen Rider etc.’

Mika there w/ the accidental save. I’m sure a little sister looking for her brother is gonna hit a nerve w/ Makoto, too...

Poor Makoto. He’s getting Gaim Arc Tsukuyomi’d. It’s okay, honey, this’ll all have never have happened by the end of this episode.

He’s still, like, two dimensional, though. Physically, I mean. Like, Flat Stanley. He can fit through tight spaces if he turns sideways.

Takeru is such a terrible liar he has to look the opposite direction. It’d be really funny if the Takeru of 2015 came running up right after they leave. Poor Makoto would be so confused. Even more than he already is.

Poor guy, I’m so sorry. Don’t worry. Like I said, by the end of this, this’ll never have happened.

Aw, Geiz came back. I’m glad he’s alright.

Also... OH MY GOD I JUST NOTICED SOUGO MOPING IN THE CORNER.

It sounds like he’s complaining, but I don’t speak Japanese, so I’m not sure. I’m really confused as to why Takeru didn’t tell them, though... Like, did he think they wouldn’t believe him?

Oh, yeah... What’d they tell Junichiro? He doesn’t seem as worried as he’d presumably be if he knew Sougo was technically dead...

Tsukuyomi taking one for the team w/ this conversation. Geiz is just sitting there like ‘this is one of the most awkward moments of my life.’

Oh my gosh, they just came in. Poor Takeru’s running around so much. His feet have gotta hurt by now.

Takeru don’t talk to Sougo when you know no one else can see him, for pity’s sake.

See what I mean? Everyone is looking at you like you’re nuts.

Oh for... SERIOUSLY? YOU’RE ONLY TELLING THEM NOW? You bloody little troll. It’s okay, I still love you.

I’m... Pretty sure they just mentioned Akari. Aw, that’s sweet. They couldn’t get her back, but they didn’t forget her.

I’m starting to wonder if the Ghost cast just have a group chat and Takeru’s actor was like ‘hey who’s free during this time period?’ and these are the folks who could make it.

Aw, Geiz is embarrassed. I saw you doing the awkward embarrassed thing. Poor Tsukuyomi just collapses in a chair.

Oh my gosh... Geiz is mad that that they made him embarrassed and have feelings, so he’s got both Sougo and Takeru by the shoulders like an angry big brother or something, and poor Takeru’s trying to explain, I love this episode. I also love how bad Geiz is at feelings.

Wait, though... Did they give Sougo his body back, or did they just temporarily revitalise his ghost? Bc I seem to remember that while Takeru was a ghost, he was capable of being corporeal at times.

I love how Sougo is just nodding along w/ what Takeru’s saying like ‘Sempai, save me!’

Geiz is like ‘You asshole... I GOT DOUBLE RIDER KICKED FOR YOU!’ He’s totally gonna try and kill him again for this...

This is totally like that moment in Dekaranger when Hoji got huffy about something and stalked out and the rest of the team just started giggling and someone literally said ‘He’s so bad at feelings!’ Bc Geiz is very bad at feelings. I love him, he’s so hopeless.

Yeah, it’s fine, Takeru was able to make it so he was no longer reanimated. And confused the hell out of poor Makoto in the process!

Geiz is also embarrassed about the Ghost Ride Watch getting destroyed. It’s okay, peaches, you got double Rider Kicked, remember? Anyway, Takeru’s got one. Well, I mean... Presumably it’s the same one. Just... It’s in a time loop. And it will be until we finish changing time. At least we know it’ll always come back, bc Puma Zi-O has to have it for Geiz to steal in the first place.

Aw, the Time Jacker sibs are working together! Guess Dad frustrated.

Robot fights? In my Kamen Rider? It’s more likely than you��d think!

Aw, look at that. They just got their gamers on.

Oh, nope, now we’re Build and Cross-z.

God, you boys REALLY SUCK at not being in sync. Are you sure you weren’t meant to work together?

Woz here, trying manipulate Tsukasa. Please. You don’t play a player.

Still excited for the day Geiz uses Sougo’s name.

Geiz here, sharing the powers again.

Tsukasa is sitting in this construction equipment like one of your french girls.

I think Tsukasa just asked Woz who he was talking to, and Woz was like ‘Uhhh... I dunno?’

I just realised... Sougo’s Decade Armour has a barcode on it?

YES! THANK YOU! I knew I could count on you, Tsukasa. He just yelled at Woz to either stop or be quiet, I’m pretty sure, snatched the book and closed it. Bringing back Masahiro was a great choice, I love this. So long as he can keep it up. I hope he’s not overdoing it between this and Jinga.

Either that or he said ‘too long,’ which is also true.

Oooooooo. He can use two Riders at once on the sword.

Woz, are you just realising Tsukasa is doing what he wants, not what you want? Seriously?

Like I said, I do trust Tsukasa to at least have noble intentions/goals, even if his methods are rather... Questionable at times. I do believe he does take his post as a Kamen Rider seriously. Even if he’s... Tsukasa.

The Decade Armour is chanting ‘HEI-SEI HEI-SEI HEI-SEI etc. etc.’ and I’m afraid I must admit I love it.

Aw, Tsukuyomi and Takeru waited for him to wake up. Geiz isn’t there bc he’s embarrassed.

Junichiro is scared of Tsukasa, and you know what, valid.

Also Geiz is gonna kill something and for once it might not be Sougo. It’s okay, dude. Like I said, at the end of the day, he is a Kamen Rider, the goddamn leggy bastard.

HE’S JUST EATING THE FOOD OH MY GOD THIS MAN IS UNSTOPPABLE.

I love how he apparently takes the camera off to eat.

And Tsukasa is still himself, even though the Decade Ride Watch exists... Hmm... So either the thing about there being two Koutas was true, or... There’s something else going one w/ leg asshole here that allowed him to keep his memories when even Fruit Jesus lost them.

That’s... Actually an okay photo? Tsukasa, have you improved?

Geiz is gonna try and kill him again. Sorry, sweetie, he’s just like This. I wouldn’t advise picking a fight right now, he’s been around the block multiple times. He’d just trash you again.

Is Woz... In the scene? Or is he... Not? Is he trying to predict Tsukasa? Oh, this’ll be interesting. Tsukasa vs Woz.

Geiz is still glaring, Tsukuyomi looks a little like a frightened rabbit. Zi-Ot3 isn’t sure what to make of the leggy bastard just yet.

So, the preview...: Is Puma Zi-O planning to beat his past self into submission? That’s... Dark. What’s the relationship between Woz and this Kisshan fellow? Did Puma Zi-O feel like Woz was screwing up, so he sent Kisshan back, or was this the plan from the start? Does Woz even actually work for Puma Zi-O? Is he just playing a part and biding his time for something else? Looks like, as a comment I saw put it quite well, Puma Zi-O is entering the chat next week. Kisshan is gonna throw Geiz and Tsukuyomi around, much to Sougo’s horror, it appears. And Tsukasa... Not sure what Tsukasa is up to yet. Not that I expected to know.

Oh, yeah, and wasn’t there a recent scan leak of Geiz’s Time Majin using a Diend Ride Watch? So... Are we actually gonna be seeing Kaito, or... What? Bc Kaito and Geiz, that’d be a pair. Kaito would probably tease him, and Geiz would fall for it every single time. We’ll see. I have no expectations as far as returns go bc I know they’re limited by availability and willingness, so let’s just go with the flow!

Alright. I’m sorry this was so long. Virtual toffees for anyone who read all that. I still love Geiz, he’s bad at emotions and embarrassed by feelings, I love it. Presuming we’re gonna have a ‘Puma Zi-O is my enemy, Tokiwa Sougo is my friend’ moment at some point (kinda like Ryuuga had over Katsuragi and Sento respectively). Poor Tsukuyomi is trying to wrangle these idiots, but I wish they’d give her a little bit more to do. Tsukasa remains Tsukasa, not surprisingly. Hope to see more of the bitter Time fam that hates each other in the future. Who knows, since Sougo is going to 2068 next week, maybe we’ll even get to meet Goggles.

Also, for anyone wondering why it says ‘Puma Zi-O’ all over this... Well, my computer kept correcting ‘Ouma’ to ‘Puma’ and I eventually decided that ‘Puma’ was funnier. That’s all.

Here’s a shot of Makoto looking attractive despite poor quality to finish off:

#Kamen Rider Zi-O #Zi-O Spoilers #i loved this episode #though poor Takeru ran his little feet off the sweetie #Geiz was embarrassed by feelings #and Makoto had the most confusing day of his entire life #which was then erased from time #if i spelled anything wrong i'm sorry #it's late and i shouldn't be up #i'm too tired to check anything #also too tired to tag so #have I mentioned I love Geiz?#I also love Makoto and Takeru too #and the Zi-Ot3 #onward to the next!#^^#Timey Wimey Rider

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