#hey look i managed to put one character that is not a hobbit or a dwarf

[bluebellhairpin]

Thorin Oakenshield X Fem!Reader

Summary; Retrieving missing ponies, exploring Troll caves, being hunted by Orcs - Oh My!

Warnings; Pregnancy used as a bluff. Character death mentions. Canon-typical violence. Reader is female-body-coded, uses she/her pronouns, and is Human.

Listening to; 'Solider, Poet, King' Instrumental Cover by Cullen Vance

Part 1 || Part 3

Series Masterlist || Masterlist || Ko-Fi

This is a re-write of a old series! If you'd like to read the original, you can find it Here.

“I should've seen this one coming,” 

Your mumbling came out breathy, almost like it wasn’t spoken at all. Beside you were the Durin brothers, Fili and Kili. On your watch, ponies had been stolen - by Trolls was your guess, of all the beasts this land had to throw at you, it had to be them - and now you had to deal with forming a plan to get them back. 

Between the three of you, nothing was happening very quickly. 

A curse broke behind you, and you turned to see Bilbo approaching - juggling three bowls of stew between two arms, and almost making a mess of it. You looked at him, and an idea sprung. 

“Bilbo could get the ponies.” You leaned over to Kili, whispering so the Hobbit couldn't hear. “He’s small and quiet - those giant’s would barely have time to think!” 

"Strapping idea -”

“Master Boggins!” Fili said, surging forward and clapping the poor Hobbit on the shoulder to pull him forward. “We’ve found ourselves in a bit of a mix.”

“See we’re meant to have fourteen ponies -” 

“But there’s only twelve -”

“We know where they are -” 

“But we need your help.” They both said. How they managed to sync up so well was astounding - they weren’t even twins - but you knew sometimes siblings are just like that when they’re close enough. 

Eventually Fili and Kili wandered off, chasing the direction where the ponies would be, you followed, with Bilbo behind. Bilbo was urged forwards, Fili disappeared, and soon you were the only one left watching the Hobbit try - and fail - to free the ponies. It wasn’t that he was getting caught - but you felt you were going to burst at the amount of times he ‘almost’ was. 

Then he was. 

You quietly yelped with him - almost jumping from your hiding spot. You stayed still, biting your lip in indecision at what to do when Kili and his brother appeared at your sides. The others came up behind you soon after, and when they decided Bilbo had been tortured with trying to stall in conversation enough, they all surged forwards, crying ready for a fight. 

You were less enthusiastic. Much less. You’d barely had a hand on your sword to draw it when it was all over. A short-lived battle indeed. 

The Trolls, three of them, were corralling you all into bags - big hessian, dirty things - you did not want to be put in one of those things. Despite your thrashing protests - and your contemplation of resorting to biting (which fell through, those were horribly gross looking fingers) - you were thrust into a bag alongside Thorin. 

The damn thing didn’t even cover your shoulders - if the drawstring wasn’t so tight, you might’ve been able to wiggle out. You’d give the trolls credit, they knew how to tie a good knot. 

“Human’s good for stews, not roastin’ like Dwarf.” One said, drawing your attention and making your eyes go wide. “Chop her up and put her in, that’ll fix the mess yous made of it.” 

“Roast Dwarf, Human stew - we gonna eats good tonight!” 

“Hey no! You can’t eat me!” You squealed, kicking your feet in the bag - Thorin made a grunt beside you after you kicked his shin in your panic, but said nothing of it aside from hissing out a quiet ‘watch it’. Especially after a troll picked you up and paid zero mind to your screaming. “Listen, you can’t eat me! You can’t!” 

“Why not? You’ve got nothin’ special about you.” He looked at you with a sideways head-tilt.

“I do! I’m not like the others, you couldn’t eat me yet.” One of the smarter Trolls looked over, noticing the extra fight you were putting up. 

“Why wouldn’t we eats yous yet? We says a Human’s more tasty than a Dwarf anyways.” He said. 

“Aha see, that’s the thing. I���m…” you swallowed, thinking of some excuse you could do that the others couldn’t. Then it hit you. “I’m with child!” you blurted. But it phased the Troll none. 

“Meanings you’re extra, extra tasty. More meats on you.” He took you from his friend, grabbing his knife and bringing it far too close to you for your liking. 

“No, wait, wait! Just think! Once I get bigger and give birth you’d have an extra Human to eat. I’ve heard babies are even more delicious than full grown Humans - you’d have it and me to eat then!” you spoke quickly, wasting no time in trying to lie your way out of being eaten. “In fact, you should probably let me go.” 

“We ain’t stupid.” The Troll said. “We got no reason to not tie yous up lie the rest,” 

“No see, listen, tying me up would restrict the growth of the child.” you bluffed, knowing all you needed to buy more time. “If I’m not tied up then the child will be bigger than normal.” you added, nodding as if to convince them.

The Trolls seemed to buy your excuse and put you down in the pen with the ponies, but made no effort to free you. But you did.

You wiggled you arms - thrashing like a madman as if it’d make any difference. And it did. Soon you had one arm free, but the rest would have to wait. You didn’t have enough time to free the rest, you needed to help the others - time was of the essence. 

You looked over at the pile of Dwarves and Bilbo, catching Thorin’s eye as you slowly moved towards the back of the pen in hopes you could just slip away to get help. Gandalf was out there somewhere, and maybe if you could get away - pray he was close by and find him - then he could help much more than you. The Trolls were too busy trying to stop one of the Dwarfs from squirming to notice you clumsily slide out of the pen and back further into the forest. hobbling and finally shedding the bag as you went. 

Thorin watched you. His mind told him you were slipping away to save your own skin. But his heart told him to stay silent and wait. Even though he thought you disliked him with a fiery passion, you held both his nephews in very high regard, and became almost like a daughter to Balin. Not to mention how you effortlessly had the likes of both Dwalin and Ori wrapped around your little finger. 

He believed you wouldn’t leave those you liked to die simply because you thought one person you disliked deserved it.

You found Gandalf within ten minutes, and you managed to not get caught again as you watched on as he saved the others.

What a wizard. 

The Trolls were turned stone in the first light of day, and you set to quick work of helping the others out of their restraints. You’d already unbagged Fili, and Dwalin when you reached Thorin. He looked at you intently as you worked on the bag. 

“How’d you come up with that idea? To fake yourself being with child?” he started, “If Gandalf didn’t save us and we were stuck, you’d only prolong your own suffering.” Once he finished talking you were also finished with his bag, letting him get himself out fully as you leant back on a stone. “You’d have watched us all die.” 

“I guess I was with child once, in a way. That sort of thing doesn’t leave you very quickly.” You mumbled. You played with your hands as he looked over at you with a slightly shocked face. “Technically it wasn't mine, but by the time our time together ended it really seemed like he was.” 

“What happened?” His question made him seem genuinely interested. You couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach that made you want to share everything with him. A deep breath left your nose. 

“Long story short, I passed through the Misty Mountains, a group before me wasn’t so fortunate. A young boy was the only survivor, and I couldn't just leave him there to die, so I decided to take him with me until I reached the next village or town.” You said, watching as the others untied and dressed each other. “I tried my best, but trolls have to make sure they ruin everyone’s best day.”  

Thorin remembered Gandalf had said you'd come across Orcs and Trolls before. This was your encounter with trolls, but what about Orcs? He decided to ask, leaning beside you as you both looked over the others. 

“If you don't mind me asking - and I don't want to come across as prying - what exactly happened?” He asked gently, keeping his eyes forwards and off you. You glanced over at him, noting that there was still not a single punch of aggression in his words or demeanor. 

“It was a little ways back towards the mountains from here.” you started softly, “I had the child strapped to me, had to tuck my pack under my arm - I knew it meant I couldn't get to my sword quickly if an attack came. I knew it was risky, but the boy couldn't walk, he was too small, I had no other choice. Out of nowhere, a Troll came. It got the child and I.” You let out a shaken sigh, eyes watering slightly, and your hands wringing each other in your lap. “I barely got away from them, but Orcs came after, and in the confusion I couldn’t get away in time for the both of us. If I’d moved faster it would’ve been fine.” 

Thorin felt a sudden guilt wash over him for how much of a arse he’d been to you. He took in a silent breath of courage, then - as if possessed by someone who hadn’t been ignoring you for the past three days - took one of your hands in his, letting his thumb brush over your knuckles. He felt himself relax when you didn't object to his actions. 

You looked down at him, and he looked up at you. 

“I'm sorry.” He felt himself saying, although what happened to the child was no fault of his own. 

In fact, it was either orcs or frostbite, not the King of Durinsfolk. Orcs certainly would have been a much quicker death, frostbite would've been much slower. Orcs may be cruel, but they prefer the quick death of children since they weep more than they scream. Oh, how Orcs loved to hear people scream. 

“I guess it wasn’t one of those things meant to be changed.” you said, shaking your head lightly. “He must’ve meant to die. I only changed how and when. But at least he’s with his family now.” 

Thorin and you shared a look, one that passed understanding between you both for a few long moments. He needed you - something really was going to happen on this journey back to his homeland. You needed him - so you could get home too. 

An unspoken agreement was formed - one that would turn out to be much more effective than your old one. You’d help each other. No more pushing each other's buttons. No more getting on one another's nerves. 

You’d finally get along.

Close by to where you were almost made into a Troll's dinner, was a Troll hole. 

The fellows in your Company were almost happy to venture in despite the smell - but you could see a few of them didn’t mind needing to say outside to keep watch though. You wanted to join them, real bad, but something deep inside you told you to go in.

Like you needed to. 

It was so dark, and the smell only made your eyes water - blurring your vision even more. You pushed past it all, including the Dwarves around you making long-term investments. Something drew you towards one of the furthest corners. 

You looked, seeing nothing. Kicking the dirt though proved fruitful when the sound of metal scraping along stone reached your ears. Down at your feet, among the dirt and leaf litter was the hilt of a sword.  

Reaching down, you took it and brought it level to your eyes. 

It’s hilt was leather bound, with a blade cover that was the length of your arm. Both were worn, old. But you took the cover off to reveal shining steel. The metal was uncarved, untouched by anything other than a forges hammer. 

“You should take it.” Gandalf said. You turned to see him watching you from under the brim of his hat. “Such an unnamed sword has no history. An unwritten past. It can serve you well in the future.” 

You looked down at the weapon, cradling it in both hands like a single wrong move could slice your fingers off. Gandalf was probably right - usually he was, as unfortunate as that could be sometimes. Your current sword was good, it served its purpose well and you intended for it to continue to do so, but it wasn’t made for you. It wasn’t made like this. Finely forged, and strong. This one was a better fit for you than your old one - it was too short, too heavy - this was longer, lighter. 

So you took it.

Stepping out of the cave was a breath of fresh air - literally.

The smell of wet moss and dirt was so welcomed after being in that hole, even the brightness of the sun shining through the trees above was a welcomed pain to your eyes. The moment you took to appreciate the piece of world around you didn’t last long. 

Panic rose in the dwarves, and you took forward to Dwalin to ask what was wrong. 

“Thorin, he saw someone coming.” 

“Orcs?” You asked. Maybe the new sword wasn’t a good idea - you were unable to figure out which sword to reach for now. 

“Not sure what or who,” Dwalin said, “But whatever it is is coming fast, be prepared for a fight, lass.” 

To be completely honest with yourself, you’d thought you’d prepared very well. Strapping your new sword across your shoulder quickly, with your old one drawn - you felt a rush run through you as if you could take on an army. But when a sled came into view - being pulled by a group of rather large hare’s, the Company met the man at the helm with confused silence. 

Until Gandalf shouted out a name and moved past the group to start a hushed conversation. 

“Whose that?” You asked, arms going slack at the signs of no immediate threat. 

“I’d guess some other wizard by the looks of his funny hat.”

“You're one to speak Bofur.” 

“He’s a strange one,” you mused, watching as Gandalf pulled a stick - a bug? A stick bug? - from the mouth of his friend. “Is it normal to see two wizards together in one place?” 

“You think seeing one wizard is normal?” Kili asked in return, looking up at you with a smirk. You shoved his shoulder - their rough love was rubbing off on you.

“You are a cheeky one.” You said with a smile. 

Everyone dispersed slowly, still weary of the new company and the news he might be bringing, but ready to relax with no immediate danger. Then something changed. The wind, maybe, and in the distance was a howl. 

Your ears perked up, and so did everyone's guards. Shouts of warnings - Wargs and Orcs approaching - rose, and a ripple of panic went through the Company. With nowhere to hide, and your ponies spooked off into thin air (Gandalf's horse and Phar Lap included), it seemed like you were trapped. A fight was coming, and the future didn’t look so bright. 

“What’s happening?” You heard. Bilbo was behind you, timidly clutching a sword - new, his, Gandalf given too no doubt - and looking none like the burglar who tried to free the ponies from trolls just hours earlier. 

“Orcs, by the sounds.” He’d never seen dangers like Orcs before, you realized as you watched his eyes blow wide open. “Don’t worry, stay close to me. I’ll keep an eye on you.” He nodded, reassured by your words.

But you weren’t feeling so confident. You hadn’t really fought an Orc before - avoided blows, and ran yes, but not fight. You didn’t know if you even had the strength in you to do it. Though no time like the present to find out.

You liked this plan. It was working. 

But you were running out of breath, and each time you had to be pulled - or pull others - back to hide behind a boulder out of sight of the wizard Radagast and the Orcs following him was getting to be exhausting. It was like you were going round in circles, only a matter of time before someone saw and knew the wizard was just a distraction. 

The Company was running out of time. 

Such a hiding place was where you found yourself. You had your sword drawn, concluding that it wasn’t a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’ you’d need to use it. Bilbo had listened, stickling close to you - if he wasn’t, then he was close to someone else instead, never straying far from the group. 

A breath of wind brought close the sound of a Warg approaching, and you pushed closer to the rock behind you. Thorin was beside you, your head level with his. You watched as his nose flared - from the running, maybe, but he could’ve been scared like you too. 

“What do we do?” You whispered, but the noise made him turn to you with a deadly look. 

‘Be quiet.’ his eyes said. You swallowed thickly, and turned back to face the lands in front of you. At least if that thing bit your head off, your last sight would be a pretty golden field. Then Thorin’s shoulders slumped beside you, pressing into yours. ‘It’ll be okay.’ the action told you. ‘Stay calm.’ 

So you took a deep breath in, as quiet and slow as you could manage, and decided to trust him. Right now what was needed was cooperation, not panic. Following what Thorin said hadn’t served anyone wrong so far - it couldn’t fail you now. 

And for a while, it didn’t. But that ‘while’ didn’t last long.

The Company was trapped. 

You all crowded together, forming a circle, readying to fight Orcs and their Wargs until breath left you no more - even you, your hands weren’t as shaky as you thought they might’ve been. 

Kili was shooting riders left, right, and center. Dwalin was charging towards them like he had zero value for his own life - really, you reckoned it was just him trying to get this ordeal over and done with, and honestly good for him. Bilbo was looking quite lost. You were trying to keep track of everyone while not getting in the way. And Gandalf - was nowhere to be found. 

“Where is that wizard?” Fili asked. His voice travelled well. 

“Left us to die by the looks.” Thorin yelled back. 

“Over here you fools!” Gandalf said, suddenly popping his head up above some small rocks behind you. 

“Thorin!” You yelled, pushing Bilbo towards the hiding hole as you saw you’d gained the dwarf’s attention. “Get everyone over here now!” 

You ran over to Gandalf, standing on the other side of the hole and counting as each dwarf (and lone hobbit) slid inside. 

Nine, ten, Bifur made twelve - but there were meant to be fourteen. Thorin was practically right in front of you, two agonizing strides and he’d be in and safe - but Kili? Kili was far, far too far away for your liking. 

Thank the gods he always listened to his Uncle. 

“Kili!” Thorin yelled. You watched as his nephew turned, then turned again, then - finally - started running your way. 

Gandalf was in, then Kili. All that were left were you and Thorin. He turned to you, and you’d bet your life he was going to get you to go in first, but you wouldn’t have that. You wouldn’t let him. 

“Age before beauty, your majesty.” And you pushed him in, sliding in right after. 

Inside, everyone was huddled together, still weary, still prepared for the Orcs to follow, but a commotion started above.

The sound of a horn, horses hooves. A body rolled down in front of you, the dead body of an Orc. Nori poked it with his hammer, but it didn’t move. Then it was quiet. They were gone, and it was over. 

You looked up, almost dreading the would-be climb back out - the steep slope, and the borderline mud-dirt had a picture of you covered in filth flashing over your eyelids. With your hands on your hips you were almost psyched enough to do it when Dwalin said something about a tunnel. 

Slope be damned, a tunnel would be like heaven in comparison.

It took little to no convincing from anyone for you to follow it - joining the long line of travelers with Dori at your front and Balin behind you. Even Thorin’s words of aggression-lased hesitancy weren’t putting a dampener on you enjoying the walk out, rather than a climb. 

Eventually the darkness gave way to light, and the tunnel opened wide. Beyond was a sight that had you standing still in awe. 

Rivendell.

#the girl who knew the end #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin x reader #thorin x you #the hobbit x reader

[anakinsthot]

Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @veloursdor, @mischievouschan4, and @lilredghost. Y'all probably forgot but I DID NOT. I've just been sad and mopey because I'm working when it's dark out with the time change and it's pitch black by the time I'm home, so I haven't gotten anything done!

How many works do you have on a03?

Ten

2. What’s your ao3 word count?

118,260!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Star Wars! And I don’t foresee that changing. When I first got into fanfic I wrote for Bleach, Final Fantasy VII (oh my god there were song fics, what the fuck), Harry Potter, Marvel Cinematic Universe (I had forgotten about that completely. Hopefully I forget again), and The Hobbit.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Hey this feels like a war crime, actually. They’re all obikin except the first.

Lady of the Rocks, with 1,125 kudos… my Hobbit fic that hasn’t been touched in like 6 years.

Bitter Honey (BEE FIC, BEE FIC, BEE FIC!! Sits at 447 right now)

Anakin Skywalker, Witch (420, nice)

Living with the Present (402)

Tapio (128)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Although frequently very late. I got bad about it this summer because this summer sucked, emotionally. But I love it when authors respond to my comments so, as hard as it is for me to believe, I imagine that people enjoy when I respond to their comments and try my best to do it.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them have an angsty ending. One of the Harry Potter fics was going to though. LOL.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Anakin Skywalker, Witch.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes… mostly pretty vanilla right now I think. I need to expand my writing comfort bubble.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t written any. Used to read a ton though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. It’s stressful enough trying to match my own writing voice haha.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Obikin, definitely!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My hobbit fic. I still get comment occasionally asking if I’ll finish it. My big thing with that fic was world-building and I’ve lost a lot of what I had. I WANT to work on it for the people that still enjoy it though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say probably dialogue, because I feel like I edit that the least, and world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

….actually writing the words down RIP. Also comma usage.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I avoid it, generally. I read too many fantasy books and fics back in the day where you had to flip to the glossary at the end of the book/bottom of the page for translations and it gets annoying, especially if there’s a multiple characters speaking.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Omg I had to look up my old ff.net account to check this. It was Bleach.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I want to immediately say Anakin Skywalker, Witch. It’s my first obikin fic, my first fanfic after a long hiatus. I’ve put so much work and research into it. But Tapio has a vibe that I really enjoy, and has managed to inspire that vibe in readers so… dark horse winner is Tapio.

Bonus: What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Probably that damn Hobbit fic. I didn’t have an editor back then so I shudder to think about what the comma situation is there.

I feel like I've seen most people do this game already! So I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you see this and have not been tagged yet/want to do it... this is me, tagging you.

#f u you microsoft word not keeping my formatting #see if i copy/paste a numbered list ever again #fic #tag game #mal writes #ahahahahah never want to look at my ff.net account again #obikin

[dimdiamond]

Pass the happy! 🌻 When you receive this, list five things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications. 💛💛💛

Thank you, @lordoftherazzles! Now I will list my top 5 characters (I'll try my best not to put only hobbits and dwarves)

Bilbo Baggins

This hobbit stole my heart at first sight (and crushed it afterward but here we're talking about happy things so let's not elaborate🙃)! His sassiness, wit, smartness, and kindness are incomparable! I relate to him on so many levels, from his distaste in social gatherings and sudden visits, especially from his sour relatives, to his awkwardness in expressing his feelings, actions matter more anyway. He's an amazing character and I'll stop there before this becomes an essay.

Thorin Oakenshield

This guy! THIS GUY! This dwarf is anything more than a one-dimensional character! He's so interesting and endearing to watch that you end up following him wherever he leads (even if we get lost eventually😒 but hey if mister Baggins of the Bag End abandoned everything to follow this important dwarf why not me too?!). Despite his heavy burdens and duties, you can see his caring and loving nature and I'm gonna stop now before it's too late.

Pippin Took

Pippin my darling! He has such character growth throughout the story! From an aloof and ignorant young boy to a brave and mature man! His core doesn't change, instead, he uses and realizes his true strengths, like his empathy and straightforwardness, to help others. This hobbit looked like the fellowship's joke but ended up being a valuable asset and irreplaceable🥺.

Bofur

Bofur is a sweetheart! He's everyone's best friend! I want him to be my best friend! For a dwarf, he's so open-minded, he's the one to first open up and get friendly with strangers, he's Bilbo's first friend in the quest. And his friendship with him is not only for having fun with the new guy: he really cares and respects his character and so does Bilbo (I really love their friendship 😭)! And let's not start with how close and caring is with his brother Bombur, his cousin Bifur, the rest of the company, and how the Urs were ready to follow Thorin's quest without any relation with him or obligation!

Gandalf

Gandalf is an icon! He's this all-known figure, the wizard that fights for the goodness of this world and then you see him raving a hobbit's house with 13 dwarves and partying around with other hobbits! He's sassy, tries his best not to start smashing everyone's head with his staff and his comfort for the sad times is smoking weed with his pipe. His love for hobbits is so touching, although I'm sure he wants to strangle two specific hobbits who one of them happens to be his bestie and the other his problematic child (I'm looking at you, Bilbo and Pippin). Gandalf rules😎!

#answered #lordoftherazzles #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #pippin took #bofur #gandalf #the hobbit #lotr #hey look i managed to put one character that is not a hobbit or a dwarf #although he's their best ally

[mads-weasley]

Love & War Pt. 6: Almost

40s!Bucky Barnes x Medic!Reader

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: Hey guys! This is me trying to update through my schoolwork and everything else going on right now! It may be SUPER sporadic at times, but I promise I am trying. Sadly, I do not own any of these characters except (y/n). As always, I hope you enjoy! I love to hear feedback from y’all!

Summary: As the Commandos push on towards Germany, changes in Bucky and (y/n)'s relationship begin to affect the whole unit, forcing Steve to step in.

Warnings: descriptions of injuries, war, mentions of blood

(y/n) - your name

(y/l/n) - your last name

(y/n/n) - your nickname

(y/h/c) - your hair color

(y/e/c) - your eye color

Italics - flashbacks

(y/n)'s pov:

“So, what’s something you like to do but have never told anyone?” I asked, tucked under Bucky’s arm in the cold weather.

“Easy. I love to read.”

I gasp loudly, putting a hand over my mouth, dramatically. “The James Buchanan Barnes likes to read? And here I was thinking that I was the only intellectual on this team.”

“Ha-Ha. Very funny, (y/n/n).”

Each time he uses his new nickname for me, I have the instant urge to smile. I don’t know when he started using it, but it is common knowledge that he is the only one allowed to call me it. One time, Dum Dum called me (y/n/n) and Bucky gave him the closest thing to a death stare I’ve ever seen. It was quite hilarious to watch, but it did get the message across that the nickname belonged to Bucky and Bucky alone.

“Why don’t you tell anyone about it?”

“Well, it never really came up. No one asked, so I didn’t tell.” He replied quietly, eyes on the dirt.

“I think it’s wonderful. My favorite book is the Hobbit. You’ve pro-” At the mention of the title, his face snaps up to mine with a goofy smile.

“I love that book! It’s my favorite, actually.”

I just stare at him wide-eyed for a few moments, really taking in his grey-blue eyes filled with excitement, along with his youthful smile and slightly blue lips that form it. A warm wave of I don’t know what passes over me and I become aware of his gentle grip on my shoulder, as well as every inch of his skin touching mine. The smile on his face slowly fades as he searches mine for answers to the sudden silence. Slowly removing his arm from around me, he gently slides a stray piece of hair behind me ear, not breaking eye contact. His next words make my heart stop beating.

“Wow,” he says breathily,” You’re so beautiful.”

My brain is on overdrive as I search for a reply, but I find none. His stare is momentarily broken as his eyes flick down to my lips before returning to my eyes. Before I know what is happening, I find myself doing the same thing. Our faces are inches apart as he raises his hand to cup my jaw. Feeling his warmth, I lean into it slightly and close my eyes, moving in farther as he does the same. Right before I anticipate our lips to meet, the sound of the door opening behind us shatters the moment. Jumping back quickly and whipping around towards the door, I see Dum-Dum exiting our makeshift barracks.

“(Y/n), do yo-,” he stops when he sees the two of us. “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Still very flushed, I manage to quietly speak with a small smile, “You didn’t interrupt anything. What can I help you with?” He motions inside, and in a moment of impulse, I lean over and kiss Bucky on the cheek before following Dugan inside. Little did I know, the gesture made the young man feel something he hadn’t in a long time.

Two Months Later

After that night, both seemed unsure how to proceed with their friendship. Luckily for them, they didn't have much time to dwell on their almost kiss because the Allied army arrived the next day. Soon after, they were sent on a scouting mission to check out the route for the next Army Operation. The group set out into the wilderness, looking for German activity. Where the pair were normally inseparable and always chatting, there was silence on the journey. Everyone in the unit took notice.

Luckily, the mission went off without a hitch, and they saw minimum activity from the Germans. On the short, three day mission, Bucky and (y/n)'s awkwardness had somehow affected the whole group. Steve was fed up with this by the time they got back. As they were walking out of their debrief, he called out to the two of them.

"Buck, (y/l/n)." With a head nod, he motioned towards a nearby room.

They followed with dread, already knowing what it was going to be about. Of course they were tired of the awkwardness too, but neither one of them wanted to be the one to address it first. Shooting each other a knowing look, they stopped in front of Steve once in the room.

"Look," he started in a very dad-like voice, "I don't know what happened between the two of you, and I really don't care, but it's driving all of us crazy. You can't do your job if you' won't even look at each other. Fix it. Now."

(Y/n) nodded as Bucky broke the silence. "Will do."

Starting to walk out the door, Steve spoke over his shoulder with a hidden smile. "You both aren't leaving this room until you fix it."

Bucky turned to (y/n) with a sheepish grin and she met his eyes with a similar expression.

"We're good, right?"

"Yeah. We're good. I'm sorry, I-"

"No," he started, "I'm sorry. That night, I misread the situation."

She furrowed her brows. "You didn't misread anything, James. We just can't. We're in a-"

"War. Yeah, I know." He interrupted.

Her eyes were filled with regret. "We just can't be distracted."

"Just friends?" he asked shyly.

"Just friends."

He nodded with a soft smile before walking out of the room. (Y/n) felt terrible. She really did like Bucky, but she'd become distracted when they were in the field because she was worried about him. If they were just at home, that wouldn't be a problem. They were not at home though; they were in a warzone.

~

Over the next few days, things became normal again with Bucky and (y/n). Their friendship, although not as strong, was being rebuilt after their conversation. The jokes came back, and put the other Howling Commandos at ease. The relative peace they felt was soon washed away by a midnight visitor.

It was pitch dark inside the small house when there was a thud against the door outside. Hearing the sound, Steve sat up abruptly, getting to his feet, shield in hand.

"Buck." he whispers.

As he started to stir, Falsworth came busting through the door with someone in his arms.

"(Y/l/n), help! This guy's injured!"

Used to the call for her, she shot up, already going into nurse mode. By then, everyone in the house was wide awake and were on their feet, ready to help.

They got the soldier laying on the couch and turned on the light so (y/n) could see what she was working with. The first thing she noticed was the giant blood stain on the side of his uniform. Upon further inspection, she discovered that he had been shot on his right side. At this, she started barking orders at the Commandos.

By the time she had stopped the bleeding and stabilized him, it was daylight outside. She had checked for dog tags, but had failed to find them anywhere on his person. It didn't seem to bother her, but Bucky had noticed her searching for them before giving up. He was suspicious of where this man had come from, especially without any identification on him. Soldiers were trained to never take them off so that their body could be identified.

The young medic was so tired that she had actually fallen asleep, slouching in a chair next to the couch on which the soldier laid. With a sigh, Bucky grabbed the nearest blanket and draped it over her shivering body. Although they couldn't be anything more than friends now, he couldn't get rid of the feelings he had for her. In that moment, he promised that make sure she would return safely home once everything was over.

______________________________________________________________

Tag List:

@insane-perfectionist @ahahafudge @bluemoon-icecream @lunamadhatter99 @thatfangirl42 @fionanovasleftnut @friendly-letters @youcanstandundermyamberella @caritobbg @marvel-ous-miss-maisie @fitzfiles @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @jo-ha-nna @pastel-boy-sungjae @ginger-swag-rapunzel @simp-for-bucky @ceo-of-daichi @quinnmaddie @tylard-blog1 @cxddlyash @harrietbaudelair @treblebeth @missstef23 @marvel-3407 @adventure-of-nemi @parisparker269 @neptunight @winterbuckystan1943-1917-1982

#i love bucky so much #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #40s bucky barnes #40s bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x medic!reader #world war two #wwii #40s!bucky #howling commandos #mads' fandoms #love and war #love & war #bucky fluff

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 4: But His Name Backwards is Nomolos????

World is still kind of a mess, so lets go back to Yugioh, during an arc that is so incredibly tame that no one has died. Not even a little bit. No one has risked the destruction of the ecosystem with Pegasus’ historical fanart drawn on digital playing card. No angry gods have done really anything. They’re all on break.

Except for Pharaoh, but Pharaoh isn’t that angry anymore ever since the Orichalcos thing. He mostly just talks about card matches I couldn’t care less about because it’s Grandpa and Joey.

hey you know what bro just noticed that I haven’t noticed over these past 4 seasons--Look at Yugi and Yami’s hair.

Yugi’s hair has 3 extra floppy down bangs by his eyes. I just always assumed those were the same number as Pharaoh’s bangs--but turns out no, those are Pharoah’s streaks but flopped down.

Which means when he de-charges, his hair just flops over directly into his eyes.

And now I have an urge to animate something for the first time in years (spoiler: I do not have the time to animate this.) because WHY would they never animate this hair flop for us??? The POTENTIAL.

Grandpa spends most of the time saying “Joseph, can you guess what card I’m holding???” and Joey is like “Why would I tell you that? I’m trying to play a game? Would you stop explaining the rules? it’s getting kind of weird.” and I got a little bit of an insight into what the homelife of Yugi Muto must have been like growing up with a Grandpa who is just always talking about cards.

It does explain why Yugi plays so freakin slow, though.

(read more under the cut)

This is clearly just a visual gag but also maybe this is also how the Doctor just gets around?

Speaking of visual gags and getting around, it’s our two most inconsequential minibosses, refusing to leave the series.

Y’all let me know last time that we are in fact, still in America, and I guess this is proof of it, because there’s no other way they could have walked here. I mean Yugioh is real bad at geography but they seem to have a good grasp of a big ass ocean existing betwixt Japan and the US.

Not sure where they got those rad Hobbit outfits, though. If this is their new look, I’ll accept it.

(Yes, this is a new font. Again, I’m trying out stuff to try and make it accessible. I will figure this out before the season is over)

Honestly, I didn’t think Rex and Weevil could get much worse than being dead. Thought that maybe waking up in a hospital bed after joining the Big Bad would be enough of a wake up call to the direction their life is heading.

But, considering that this arc has no real villain so far other than a guy who likes the color purple and bathing in milk...maybe that’s fine. It’s not a BAD thing to play cards, necessarily. This doesn’t make them bad people...it’s what you do with those cards.

Like destroying a Caltrain with it, for instance.

Unless of course, the amount of energy it takes to do a card hologram is the same amount as an NFT, in which case I guess that would make them bad no matter who you play against. But we live in a universe with Noah in it, who probably had enough energy pumped into that orb to fuel like 15 Americas. Fossil fuels seem to be just fine in this universe.

In fact I don’t think it’s ever come up? Surprisingly, Seto Kaiba has never had to deal with an eco terrorist, unless you counted Raphael. That is hella rare for a 90′s early 00′s show. I feel like they were contractually obligated to have at least one fossil fuel episode.

Well, good for the Yugioh universe, who managed to solve the energy crisis off screen. Good for them.

PS Hawkins said this and afterward was like “I just want you kids to appreciate what you’re seeing here today.” and it’s like damn Hawkins. Condescend much? This old guy is like King of Throwing Shade While Appearing to be Helpful.

Anyway, the gimmick of Solomon Muto is that he plays a bunch of history cards. Arthur Hawkins was super excited about it, but I feel like the other kids were like “We straight up have never heard of any of these old ass cards for a reason.”

Bro has informed that this card also sucks ass IRL, and like...I’m not surprised.

(grandpa’s font has also changed to something he’s actually wearing, and to something that is way more legible.)

To think that during the time Grandpa spent trying to get this dragon working, he could have been researching the damn God Cards and helping Pharaoh figure out his past history. Youknow...that history stuff that he devotes his entire life to studying.

Course, maybe Grandpa was smart enough to know NOT do that. I feel like Grandpa putting the brakes on revealing Pharaoh’s history is reason enough to just not open that Pandora’s box, but that will be another arc, I guess. This one we’re just showing some ancient dragon merch to sell toys to kids IRL. Gotta have your episodes to remind you that Yugioh is in fact toys.

Also, Hawkins proceeded to point out to Yugi in a way without literally saying it, that Yugi doesn’t go home often enough to distract his Grandpa with cards.

Which Hawkins followed up by throwing shade at Joey Wheeler for the rest of the match, since he was the only one here who stans Grandpa. You can see who Rebecca gets it from, is what I’m saying.

Joey reveals his only motivation to be here--which should be to get a plane ticket. Like their only reason to be in this tournament is already done?

But his other motivation is silly.

uh huh.

Tristan really did lay this specific dunk in the show. He is being given a plane ticket to do nothing. Wow, Tristan.

At least Joey’s motivation isn’t based on fixing some girl. For once Joey is just doing this for himself and not for a relationship that will never happen for at least several years, or to be a Father for his oblivious Sister. Thank you, show. Course I say that, and there could be another Mai arc right around the corner.

Anyway, there really isn’t much else to say about this arc other than Joey has finally bested his mentor in a card game. Still can’t best Yugi or Pharaoh or Seto or hell, probably even Tea or Mokuba if they ever pulled out cards again...

...but he bested Grandpa, who got polished off by being beaten up by several thug-like holograms.

Not sure why he fell over other than...something in the holograms must be real in this universe. There’s no other reason this would happen!

(honestly I can’t handle Grandpa’s face. It looks. SO BAD. There’s something  offsetting about it that I really do not like, and I think it’s the eyes and the tiny nose and the very skeletal bone structure--I don't like it)

Like every person here is convinced that Yugi’s grandpa is one step away from keeling over and it’s low key hilarious to me. The man has died and been resurrected. You think Pegasus did that bad of a job??? Grandpa Muto will likely outlive all of you.

This show really can’t lift Joey without taking two more punches to get him back down. Like the show keeps telling me that Joey is a complete idiot, and he kind of is, but I want to point out that he is a talented idiot who was second in most of the tourney’s he’s been in and he should have killed Marik straight up if he wasn’t like struck by lightning first.

Yes, he got distracted and raced after Mai last season so he prematurely died, but that was clearly just a phase because I don’t see Mai here.

Yes, in the actual show, they each said “ohhhh” and it’s like...the brain damage on these kids. We need to get them back to school.

I think there’s like 30+ other characters introduced but the only ones I know are Rex, Weevil, Leon, and...the girl who hugged Yugi once? I don’t remember her name. But they’re probably next. I feel like this is a bit of a slower arc, but hey, if anything it’s easier for me to cap.

anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in Chrono Order!

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I’ll have you know I wrote this whole thing thinking Nomolos is a Fleet Foxes song and it hellllllllla got stuck in my head, but it turns out the word I was thinking of is Mykonos.

#ygo #yugioh #yu gi oh #recap #photo recap #S5 #Ep4 #Yugi muto #joey Wheeler #Grandpa muto #solomon muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #duke devlin #Mokuba Kaiba #professor hawkins #at least this duel was short

[ghostmartyr]

Are you still watching RWBY? What did you think of Volume 8 overall

VOLUME 9 NEVERLAND SAGA WHERE NO ONE CAN HIDE FROM THEIR TRAUMA OR THEIR FRIENDS BY TRYING TO STOP IRONWOOD FROM BLOWING UP HALF THE KINGDOM HE’S SUPPOSEDLY PROTECTING WHILE ALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS AND ALLIES THINK THEY’RE DEAD.

POGCHAMP.

I enjoyed Volume 8, but I think it stumbles at the end enough to look back at its time management and feel not totally great about it.

Cinder’s development is solid. I’m still not very attached to her, but she has attained my interest at long last. Good for you, Cinder. Solve your emotional problems with murder. Kill Watts. Give Neo a reason to go back to trying to kill you. Make yet another mortal enemy. I support these actions.

Emerald’s flip means she won’t have sad eyes over all the atrocities she’s playing witness to while the timer goes down on her defection anymore, and that’s cool.

Ironwood’s everything is... well. Yeah. Great. Nothing like watch someone destroy themself. Oh, and everything else around them in the process. Once he got started, it was pretty clear where he was going, and that’s just sad. He goes from hugging Qrow and finding relief in his allies to shooting all of them. Shooting Jacques along the way does not even that out.

The Ace-Ops felt too cluttered for the final parts. They’re the cautionary tales, obviously, but I don’t think we get enough time detailing them for them to be on the same stage as Winter coming into her own and RWBY falling into oblivion. Qrow and Robyn get the slow burn and then the panicked call to immediate action, but for the Ace-Ops, Marrow and Harriet are the only ones who the narrative actively does something with. Marrow’s problems are obvious from the start, and Harriet’s emotional heat hints, and then reveals, a depth of trauma that this system has been crap at handling. But Vine and Elm, the critical pieces in talking her down, and centerpieces of keeping Mantle from blowing up, aren’t prominent enough in the narrative for their place in its resolution to feel quite earned. I think if we’d gotten an extra episode it would have worked a little better. As it was, I was left wanting more focus on the central cast.

Which is kind of why I’m so thrilled that RWBY+J are maybe stuck spending some quality time together. The macro plot matters, obviously, but they’ve been moving so fast. Atlas feels like a speedrun of a kingdom falling, and a little more interplay between my faves would be very welcome.

Then there’s the obvious.

Oh, Penny.

I can’t feel good about Penny’s handling in the end.

The Winter Maiden, as soon as we’re introduced, is waiting to die and offer her power to the next one in line. Winter was intended for that, but Penny interrupts.

Two days later, Winter has the power, and Penny’s dead.

This is necessary so that Winter has time to center what she actually believes before she’s upgraded to demigodhood. Winter as the Winter Maiden leading into Volume 8 would have kept her on Ironwood’s script. The disruption of expectations that leaves her vulnerable forces her to respond to what is going on, not what her side believes should be going on.

It makes sense to delay Winter’s ascension, because it gives Winter perspective that she can’t access as long as she’s in her chain of established command.

Making Penny’s value tie entirely back to supporting someone else’s story. She’s allowed to be a real girl, she’s allowed to fight for what she believes in, she’s allowed to have friends, but becoming the Winter Maiden serves Winter’s storyline more than it serves Penny’s.

Which isn’t to say they do nothing with her. Obviously, the virus making the vault look good creates a variety of opportunities. Sure, they could have filled in another domino without Penny specifically, but she’s an instrumental part of getting them inside that vault in how the story goes.

Creating a new body for her is a complicated thing. Penny’s a real girl no matter what her form is, but if you say that while cutting out the nuts and bolts -- it’s a little mixed. In the most benign way I can put my preferences, I like Penny being a robot. I’m thrilled she knows how warm a hug can feel (Pietro, patch notes, get on it), but...

Before Watts causes problems on purpose, Penny shows a little hesitance about not being your standard model of girl, but unless I’ve been worse about my watching comprehension than I thought, she doesn’t have any burning need for flesh. Changing her body is the best solution they can up with in response to her agency being violated.

It’s not my favorite thing in the world. I don’t think it’s entirely good faith to pin all of the possible unfortunate implications on it, but they exist, and they are there. And on the flip side, being granted a body that is created through nothing but who you are is a sentiment that I’m sure resonates with a lot of people. I think there’s a lot to observe in what Penny’s going through, and it’s worth discussion more than angry words.

Except before there’s a chance to collect opinion polls on that, we once again have her asking for death before she hurts her friends.

I believe there’s a post on LotR somewhere that explains why people are okay with it being a mood shift from The Hobbit. People aren’t huge fans of media they consume invalidating media they previously invested in.

Penny dies, then she comes back. Then she dies.

Penny interrupts the inevitability of Winter becoming the Winter Maiden. Then Winter becomes the Winter Maiden.

It feels like a zero sum game, but a zero sum game where our emotions were torqued around for the sake of it, and the object of said torquing is being utilized as a plot object prior to being a character.

Penny obviously has a lot of personality, and a lot of established emotional ties. She’s not just a lamp standing in a corner.

But to use the apt metaphor, you can see the strings. Penny’s trajectory seems to be moving under its own velocity -- but then that ending hits. Despite going through all of the steps to make sure that Penny doesn’t have to sacrifice herself to keep the people she loves safe, despite actually being really creative and clever about doing everything possible to keep her alive --

The plot demands her death.

It isn’t good enough to fix the pressing issue that made sacrifice look good. Sacrifice is still the ultimate answer.

Thematically, that doesn’t jive with the story we’ve been getting.

Emotionally, what the fuck, could we not.

(What’s better than the cute robot girl begging for death? Doing it twice!)

People who are in a more optimistic state about fiction at the moment have noted that Pinocchio does do a lot of dying, and I do like the read of Penny as Jiminy Cricket. Considering the full context of the world, there’s more to justify a return than a lot of characters get. It wouldn’t be the most shocking thing ever.

It’s still kind of fucked up. Penny doesn’t kill herself, but she asks others to kill her, and that’s her being a good girl.

The National Suicide Hotline gets its number placed in the summary of the episode.

Obviously there’s more to it than that, but the implications are there, and a very painful thorn when looking over the rest of her. Creating an environment where it makes sense for this character to kill themself, it’s noble, even --

I don’t think that’s a route of story that the available material handles gracefully.

It’s the “twice” that really hammers the point down into the coffin. It creates a pattern of behavior in Penny. Once, and okay. Heroic sacrifice plays are always a major source of drama, exemplifying how Good the person making the sacrifice is, and how Tragic it is that we’re losing such a good person, all because they have principles and just love these other people so much.

Only if you have a character asking someone to kill them twice in relatively quick succession, the callback isn’t to feats of heroics. It’s suicidal tendencies.

If you’re not prepared to deal with implications of that magnitude, you’ve got to make the link a lot less suggestive. Otherwise you’re telling a new story whether you like it or not, and it’s not one you’re ready for, drastically upping the odds that it’s not going to be the most polished thing ever.

What the issue becomes then, in my personal opinion, is pacing (’hey self why is the answer always pacing’ ‘because shut up’). Penny’s joy of life is a blip in between her asking for death. The heroic nature of her desire for death mixed with the awful despair of her actual death makes this endpoint of her story saturated with a darkness that sours the entire experience.

Complicating it further is the issue of trust.

The writers killed her and brought her back just to kill her again. If they do bring her back again, the faith is kind of broken. Once you show that you’re willing to move a character around like a piece on a chessboard, your audience isn’t going to trust the story enough to invest. They’re going to be looking for the strings. For a complicated special effect that takes a lot of strings, that’s a pain, because the agreement with stories is supposed to be that yes, there are strings, that’s our medium.

If you don’t trust the writers, you are not going to believe in the story.

For my personal taste, if the writers are doing something more with Penny, their presentation has made it difficult for me to see value in the journey, even if the destination happens to be something I ultimately approve of.

Anyway Robyn needs to officially adopt Qrow. He has been a bad guy bandit, now he can be a good guy bandit.

He can be the Happy Huntresses’ cute animal mascot.

That is all that matters.

That is my one, solitary thought on the entire volume.

Thanks for the ask!

#RWBY #fndm asks #why is all my meta about suicide

[hermywolf]

ranking my favorite characters about random shit part 2

ranking my favorite characters (clarke griffin, dean winchester, fox mulder, rose tyler, newt, kaz brekker, samwise gamgee, charles xavier, bill denbrough, lord asriel, steve rogers, scott mccall, anna milton and barry berkman) about random shit. this is entirely self-indulgent

PART 2 : how many allies do they have/how powerful are their allies. basically how screwed they’d be if they had to rely on their allies to survive

1- DEAN WINCHESTER

yeah believe it or not im putting him before charles or steve. listen, listen; dean just. does this thing. in which he’ll get pretty much anyone on his side after like two conversations. ESPECIALLY incredibly powerful supernatural creatures. i mean he’s got sam, aka the second best hunter on earth, and jack, literally GOD, on his side; then obviously the dean winchester simp squad, castiel, a seraph and commander of garrisons who can get heaven to fight for him; benny, a vampire; crowley, a powerful crossroad demon and the king of hell; amara, literally THE DARKNESS HERSELF, god’s SISTER; and then there’s just SO many others who will fight for him for diverse reasons, rowena, eileen, claire, jody, donna, kaia, mary, anna, gabriel, DEATH HIMSELF was his bitch before billie, then ketch charlie kevin, he’s just got so many allies and so many are some of the most powerful creatures in the universe. i mean, jack, amara and gabriel alone are three of the most powerful beings who have ever existed, as well as billie and the other archangels but all of them are dead, and chuck but he’s also dead and even he would be on dean’s side since dean is his favorite and if it’s an actual life-threatening situation chuck would want the show to keep going. so yeah dean winchester’s got the biggest defense squad imaginable and honestly? good for him, he deserves it

2- CHARLES XAVIER

do i even have to say it? outside of his ability to. you know. literally control minds, he’s also a leader who inspires loyalty and trust, and he’s got all the x-men fighting for him, including jean and logan - and even if we’re being honest some of the brotherhood, i mean especially in the first class timeline, erik and raven would absolutely be on his side. he’s got some of the most powerful mutants of all time ready to fight for his life

3- STEVE ROGERS

I mean he’s the leader of the avengers, man. have you seen the avengers assemble scene? they were fighting against thanos there but don’t try to tell me all of them wouldn’t fight for him. he’s got the falcon, black widow and the winter soldier on his side as well as the SCARLET WITCH, CAPTAIN MARVEL, THOR, do i need to keep going. he’s got a huge reputation and everyone knows and trusts him. and as we can also see in all his movies he inspires loyalty and devotion easily so even with people he doesn’t know he can get himself a loyal army in one well-delivered speech à la captain america

4- KAZ BREKKER

while most of the people on this list (steve, scott, charles, dean, bill, newt, anna) are born leaders who inspire trust and loyalty, kaz is just. really good at blackmail and insanely smart and cruel. and he’s got an insanely scary reputation too. he’s got the crows on his side no matter what, so an amazing spy, the best sharpshooter in ketterdam, a grisha who survived parem, an ex-drüskelle, and a demolition expert; as well as now the entirety of the dregs and inej’s crew, probably. plus, he most likely has leverage on the entirety of ketterdam and more. if he got in real trouble he could probably dig out the years and years of blackmail he got stacked away and get himself allyships with anyone he wants. plus his allies are ruthless, diverse and all strategically selected

5- SCOTT MCCALL

he’s got his entire pack ready to jump to help him anytime. and really when you think about it his pack is so big and diverse, there’s all kinds of creatures/skills ready to help him, plus he’s a true alpha, any werewolf would jump to his aid. I mean let’s look at his pack, stiles, allison, lydia, derek, malia, isaac, kira, hayden, mason, corey, and then of course stilinski, deaton, melissa, chris and peter, i mean even theo... he’s got a huge pack who is extremely loyal to him and they’re all kinds of creatures too, he’s fine

6- ROSE TYLER

everyone loves rose SO much. like obviously the doctor will give his life for her without hesitation but we also got jack, mickey, jackie, and even a bunch of people she met for like a couple episodes like donna or sarah jane immediately loved her. so i think she’s ultimately got some pretty solid allies especially with her father’s wealth and torchwood’s support in the alternate reality

7- CLARKE GRIFFIN

im putting her pretty down because on one hand he’s got very powerful/devoted allies on her side, like bellamy, lexa, roan, nyilah, finn, wells, etc (the key of getting your allies to be entirely devoted and loyal to you is to make at least half of them fall in love with you OR to top them so good they’ll literally put their lives down for you because of how good it was and clarke got that down to an art) BUT they’re also like. all dead. like almost all the people i just listed are dead so. yeah she’s kinda on her own in the end but if we look at early seasons clarke before literally all of them got murdered she had skaikru, azgeda and trikru pretty much in her pocket, so three of the biggest/most technically advanced armies on EARTH ready to fight for her.

8- LORD ASRIEL

now he doesn’t have actual allies per say but he can manage to get pretty much anyone on his side through charisma, threats and promises, so he ends up steadily getting massive support from witches, angels and many others in the books. he can pretty easily get himself a bunch of followers at his side ready to die for his cause.

9-SAMWISE GAMGEE

now listen he does have a pretty solid bunch of allies, aka the entire fellowship, who they, themselves, have a bunch of allies, who have a bunch of allies. i mean homeboi’s got ARAGORN and LEGOLAS and GANDALF on his side all ready to jump to save the tiny hobbits anytime so he’ll be fine.

10- BILL DENBROUGH

he’s immediately got the losers on his side, which is a win because they’re stubborn and annoying enough that they defeated an alien demonic clown. plus they’re quite literally assembled by a divinity to destroy a demon, so they’re the perfect team to kick ass and they’ll risk their lives for each other. plus he’s got a fanbase! people read his books and watch his movies. meaning he’s probably got a pretty big part of stan twt ready to help?? idk man i just think he’ll be fine when it comes to allies

11- NEWT

he’s got the entire glade ready to jump to his aid pretty much at any time, i mean let’s be honest if there’s one person all the gladers would agree on defending it would be.. ok it would be chuck bc he’s a CHILD but otherwise it’d be newt. plus he’s alby’s second in command and even gally likes him and respects him more than he likes and respects most people, which isnt much but hey kudos for the effort. anywho yeah the entire glade would defend him i think

12- ANNA MILTON

she would’ve once had the entirety of heaven at her commands ready to smite anyone who comes close to her but now that she fell and rebelled they all want her dead so. i mean i wish i could say cas would help her but after he betrayed her im not so sure? and the winchesters well idk either, maybe, maybe not, depends whether or not the entire trying-to-kill-sam ordeal happened. gabriel might help her? idk where to put her because i don’t KNOW if cas, dean, gabriel or the angels would help her but if any of them did then even one of these is a pretty solid backup so. idk man

13- FOX MULDER

im only on season 4 but as far as i can see he’s got only scully. which is pretty solid backup, she can kick ass, but still. i guess it’s one of the downsides of everyone thinking you’re batshit insane and having the entire government out to get you because they all LOATHE YOUR GUTS SO MUCH

14- BARRY BERKMAN

I mean dude. he pretty much kills all his friends. like he could ask for chris’s help but umm well he killed him, if he’s in a bad situation oh great he’s got a friend at the police except NO he murdered her. what’s that? fuches? no barry’s literally trying to murder him as of now. sally wouldn’t help him at all. cousineau just found out barry murdered his gf. at MOST he can hope that noho hank will help but i mean he’s not much help tbh i love the guy but he’s kinda useless<3

#hermy posts #ranking my favorite characters about random shit

[rainydaydream-gal18]

Commander Cody x Reader: Apart - Part 1

[Author’s Note:  Y’all, I’m telling you right now that I sat down to write a Hobbit fanfiction, and then I suddenly started writing this.  That’ll happen when I listen to music, it’ll just give me this ideas that I can’t get out of my head.

Anyways, warnings because this one is a tad angsty, and it involves a creepy stranger (but as always, nothing graphic).

I wanted to capture this scenario in a much shorter fic, but I couldn’t seem to cut any of this down.  So, consider this Part 1 of 2.  Enjoy!

   It was a lively evening. The cantina was packed. Droids rolled around with trays of drinks, dodging rowdy customers here and there. One group of soldiers were belting out song lyrics while people around them observed in amusement.  Other tables were simply talking and laughing.

   You stood frozen at the doorway.  Was this really a good idea?  Going to 79’s on a night like this meant you might see him.  Then again, you only really saw 501st soldiers there at the moment.  Dismissing your earlier caution, you went inside.

   Being a technician in this war meant meeting a lot of soldiers.  Most of your jobs landed you with the 501st and the 212th. There were a few instances you were needed in the heat of battle for immediate repairs.  That’s when you met him.  He was just a Commander checking your progress on one of the radars one day, and the two of you hit it off.  It was only after an incident many months later involving you being taken hostage by Separatist droids did you both make known your feelings for each other.  But now, that was all in the past...

   “Hey, _______!”  

   You turned at the sound of your name, spotting two soldiers easily recognizable by their tattoos and hair.  One waved you over.

   “Kix, Jesse,” you greeted with a smile, claiming the empty seat at their table.  “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”

   “Glad to see you too,” Kix nudged you.  “Want a drink?”

   “Just a little something,” you replied.  Finding yourself in a few dicey and even dangerous situations taught you to always be on your guard, so you never liked to have more than one drink.

   “‘A little something’ coming right up,” Jesse replied, and he placed an order with a droid nearby.  You relaxed a bit in your seat, glad to have found some friends in the crowd to hang out with.  However, you still couldn’t fight the feeling that somehow you’d see the one person you really shouldn’t see.

   “Is everything okay?” Jesse asked. “You look uneasy.”

   “Truth be told, I’m trying to avoid a certain someone.”

   The medic and the soldier tensed up, concerned.  Jesse glanced around.  “Is there someone bothering you?  Because we can take care of them, no problem.”

   “Is it Fives?”  Kix guessed.  “Because I’ve told him a million times to stop with the flirting and jokes.”

   You nearly laughed, recalling a time Fives ended up tripping while trying to flirt.  He was always doing silly stuff like that around you to lighten the mood when things got tough.  “No, no! He’s fine.  It’s, um, more complicated than that.” 

   “What do you mean?” Jesse inquired.  By now, the droid had returned to the table with your drink.  You sipped it, debating on whether you should mention anything.

   “Wait,” Kix raised a brow knowingly.  “Is it who I think it is?”

   Your eyes met his.  

   “Oh my goodness, it is.” 

   Jesse’s brows furrowed.  “Wait, what?  Am I missing something here?”

   You managed a smile at your medic friend.  “I’m impressed, Kix.  You actually managed to keep my secret even from your best friend.”  Then you looked back at Jesse and took a deep breath.  “Cody and I were...a couple.”

   Jesse’s eyes went wide before he nodded in understanding.  “Ohhh, so that’s what this is about?”

   “Oh, so Kix did tell you already.”  You rolled your eyes at Kix, and he gave a guilty shrug.  

   “He’s our friend,” he defended.  “He wasn’t going to tell anyone.”

   “Yeah, even after hearing that you guys were splits-ville, I didn’t say a word,” Jesse pointed out bluntly.  Both you and Kix gave him looks.  “Oh, sorry.  Not helping.”

   “Anyway,” you shook your head.  “Cody broke it off with me.”

   “That’s one thing I don’t get,” Jesse cut in.  “How did that happen?”

   “Well, he said it was fun for a while, all the secrecy and stuff, but that he wasn’t interested anymore.  He said he was tired of ‘the game,’ but I didn’t understand…  Never once did I get the impression that he wasn’t serious about us.  Not once did he give indication that it was just for fun.  I thought he cared for me like I cared for him.”

   “All due respect to my superior, but what a nerf herder.”

   “Jesse,” Kix pinched the bridge of his nose.  

   “What?  I said with ‘all due respect.’  Besides, how many times do guys like us find something real like that?  He’s a bantha-brain for throwing it away.”

   “My goal isn’t to talk bad about him; I just don’t want to see him tonight.  It’s only been a few weeks.”

   “Don’t want to see him, eh?” Jesse grimaced.  “In that case, don’t look now.”

   Your brows shot up in disbelief.  “What?”

   “He’s behind you,” Kix affirmed.  “Just act natural.  I don’t think he sees you.”

   “I can’t believe this.  You’d think with how often he was away on duty so many times that it’d be easier to avoid him now that we’re broken up.  So, what’s he doing?”

   Kix sipped his drink, acting casual.  “He’s with Rex.  They’re probably catching up.”  

   “Oh,” Jesse mumbled.  “He’s looking this way now.”

   “Great,” you muttered.  “I shouldn’t have come here.  This is embarrassing.”

   “Just act like you’re having fun.  Better yet, actually have fun,” Kix advised.  “Kick back, finish your drink, and find a dance partner.”

   “Dance partner, huh?” A man said suddenly. He clearly wasn’t a Republic soldier. He had white hair and dark eyes that stared back into yours; a smirk played on his lips.  “How about I be your dance partner for the evening?”

   Without thinking, you blurted, “sure.  I’ll meet you out there.”

   His smirk grew.  “Don’t be long.”  As soon as he walked away, your friends looked at you in surprise.

   “Him?” Jesse asked in disbelief.  “I’ve seen a lot of shady characters, but he is by far the shadiest.  Terrible ladies man. He’s here all the time trying to pick up women.”

   You stood up.  “It’ll be fine. It’s just a dance, after all.”

   “Pretty sure he’s not very respectful towards women either!” he called after you, though you didn’t hear over the music.  He turned to his other friend. “She’s going to get hurt.”

   “She is hurt,” Kix exhaled loudly.  “That’s why she’s doing this.  I’m telling you right now, if that guy even speaks to her inappropriately, he’s going to regret it.”

   “Looks like you might not be the only one who’ll make him regret it,” Jesse muttered.

   “Huh?”  Kix glanced over to see Cody staring down the strange man as you approached.

- - - - - - - - 

   “What is she doing?” Cody muttered, watching you walk to the dance floor with a stranger across the cantina.  “He’s got to be the shadiest character here.  Why is she even talking to him?”

   Rex sipped his drink.  “Are you sure you’re not just feeling...jealous?”

   “Well of course I am.  I love her.”

   “To be fair,” the captain ventured.  “You did break things off with her.  Even if it was for her protection, you didn’t exactly tell her that.”

   “How could I?”  Cody replied, finally tearing his eyes from you and the stranger to look at the Captain.  “She would never have listened to me.  With me out on the front lines- always away and always at risk of getting killed- how could I keep putting her through that?  Would you ever do that to someone?”

   “Cody, you’re a good man and a good soldier, but you’re being dramatic,” Rex stated.  “If I were you and found someone who cared about me like that, I’d never let go.”  He finished off his drink, and gave his comrade a pat on the shoulder before leaving him with that thought.

   “Dramatic,” Cody echoed to himself.  “Very funny, Rex.”  He took note of the two troopers you had been sitting with before, Kix and Jesse, who were talking amongst themselves at this point.  They both locked eyes with him briefly before quickly looking in different directions.

- - - - - - - - - 

   Meanwhile, you hadn’t thought twice about dancing with the stranger at first until you approached him on the floor. This was suddenly starting to feel like a bad idea. 

   “Hey there.”  His smirk made your skin crawl.  “Looking for me?”

   You forced a smile. “Um, yeah.”

   He started moving to the music. “The name’s Rylar.”

   “________.”

   Fortunately, the upbeat music meant you could dance near him without him wrapping his arms around you or anything odd.  Still, each time you happened to meet his stare, your anxiety about the situation grew.  He was attractive at first glance, but up close his face seemed long and thin, pale skin contrasting greatly with the dark abysses that were his eyes.  Glancing over your shoulder, you locked eyes with the person you wished to be dancing with.

Part 2

#commander cody #clone wars #imagine #reader insert #commander cody x reader #clone wars fanfiction #cody imagine #cody x reader

[highgaarden]

Lizzie/Landon - "I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so." (pls let them break a bunch of other stuff while actually having sex)

two-shot! read and comment on ao3, please!

where you cast those stones you wear;

rating: explicit chapters: 1/2 characters: lizzie/landon; background klaus/caroline, background hope/landon, background josie/penelope; the whole SS gang.

where you cast those stones you wear

part i

----

“There you are.”

Lizzie’s smile is the fakest ass fake smile he’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of them.

It’s how she smiles when Wade asks her for donations to his Anime club. Or when Dr Saltzman caught all of them at the Old Mill trying to make moonshine (Kaleb’s idea). Her smiles are especially at their fakest when she wants to pull Hope away from him for some magical assistance to whatever trouble she’s managed to get herself—

—and Josie, and Alaric, Raf, MG, (himself, though she’ll never count him) and probably half the school along as well—

—that week. “Just the person I wanted to randomly bump into in study hall.”

“Really,” he deadpans, not believing her one bit.

He shifts his book just a little closer to his chest. He’s not nervous, but her energy is full of it sometimes, and sometimes it’s just energy personified that bounces off the calm he tries to fill his study hall with.

You know, where they’re supposed to study – in silence, preferably – but with Lizzie, there’s never much of silence.

It’s with a bit of a niggling discomfort that Landon realises he’s learned her tells: Lizzie can talk up a storm, always, but it’s in tense moments that she can’t seem to shut up. Not that he’d ever tell her to shut up; he doesn’t know why he always just wants to be nice to her, despite her printing out posters of VOTE ARTISANAL JAR OF MAYONNAISE FOR HOMECOMING KING last semester and sticking them all over school.

 —

 “Well?” Lizzie prompts, clicking her tongue.

Landon’s just sitting there, and for all his humble bragging about being at the top of their classes he’s just… sitting there, with a look that tells her he’s not quite registering what she’s just said to him.

“I’m—I’m sorry?” he finally says.

Lizzie sighs loudly enough for the entire study hall to send glares their way. Landon attempts to tamp down on their aggression, but all Lizzie does is just sigh louder.

Sorry, Landon mouths apologetically again, raising his hand at Wade, who looks close to crying over exam revision.

“Landon,” Lizzie says with finality.

“Lizzie,” Landon matches her tone. “I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to repeat yourself.”

Murder is the only word that comes to mind with the glare she sends his way. But she decides to humour him.

“Wow, that’s so weird. I feel like I’m just mishearing you. Again, please—hey, I said please.”

Lizzie’s mouth moves around the words she’s telling him.

Landon continues to stare at her blankly. “Sorry, there’s just this weird ringing in my ears. It sounds like you just asked me to be your boyfriend?”

 —

 Elizabeth Jenna Saltzman.

Asking him, resident emo-boy, a marginally competent bird as she always ‘fondly’ calls him, to be her esteemed partner.

“Am I hearing this right?”

Lizzie hisses right through her teeth, “Do not insult me, you moderately competent bird.”

See?

He lifts his book as if to deflect the blow of her mighty glare. “Look, I’m not! I’m just – are you feeling alright? Been getting enough sleep?”

“Two weeks have passed since my mom’s come back, and I have thoroughly exhausted every single mother-daughter bonding activity ever, and she’s moved on from Oh Lizzie, my favourite daughter, I’ve missed you so much snuggling to Who is this Sebastian your father keeps mentioning lectures.” Lizzie adds flippantly: “I’m not vibing with it.”

“Sebastian?”

“Super sexy perma-teen vampire but a complete misjudgement of character on my end.”

“And this isn’t?” Landon mumbles.

“I need to get my mother off my back, keep up.” Lizzie inches forward in her seat. The ends of her hair graze the table with how much she’s leaning towards him, making him look her in her wide, blue eyes. Always with the theatrics. “You’re just about at the exact opposite end of the Sebastian spectrum. Mopey, dependable, not obviously good looking, but your other qualities probably can make up for that. And you’re the kind of guy would probably wake up super early to get me a coffee and croissant before school, because that’s just how cheesy you are.”

“Thanks?”

“Don’t interrupt me. Anyway, it’s not just for my benefit either.”

“Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

Lizzie’s smile widens just a touch. “Heard your little crush on Hope just went up in flames.”

So is his face now, all puffed out and embarrassed. He lowers his voice and hisses, “How do you know about that?”

“Oh Landon. My sweet thrift store hobbit,” Lizzie sighs. “Everyone knows about it. You wear it like a badge of constant glumness. You didn’t speak to Jed for a whole week after he bought her a sandwich last week.”

“I could’ve bought her a sandwich too, big deal,” Landon mutters.

Lizzie raises a sharp finger and looks smug. “Ah, but you didn’t! See, my boy, you’ve got no game. Now imagine how much cooler your image would be if you were seen with resident popular girl,” she gestures to herself. “Your reputation would shoot up the ranks.”

“There are ranks?”

“Duh,” Lizzie says like it’s the most obvious thing. “And you, being a phoenix without actually possessing any unique phoenix qualities other than resurrecting – ”

“That’s not unique enough?”

“—looking like a pale artichoke in gym class doesn’t help, either. I am your salvation!” Lizzie finishes, hands on her hips and jaw raised like she’s standing centre-stage at their annual talent competition.

Landon narrows his eyes. “You think people will like me more if it looks like I’m dating you?”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Move a little.” She takes a seat next to him gracefully, tucking her skirt under her thighs. “Listen. I need my mom to stop breathing down my neck. She’s been looking at me like she wants to give me the birds and the bees talk, with visual aid, flash cards and mini-theatre and I’d rather not go through that again. Once was more than enough. Pretty sure Dad wants her to exact power over my social life, since he doesn’t really have any say in that, and I’m looking at two semesters of constant surveillance. Or a twelve-step programme. And Professor M isn’t helping either—”

Landon shuts his book. “How does Professor M know about your love life?”

“Everyone knows about my love life, Landon. I’m interesting.” She rests an unwilling hand on his shoulder with a grimace. “And soon you will be too.”

“Because I’ll be dating you.”

“Fake dating,” Lizzie corrects primly.

“And you think Hope will like me, even though I’ll be unavailable?”

“There’s something to be said about wanting the unattainable, Landon. And trust me, you will be unattainable once you’re standing by my side.”

“Yeah, because everyone will think I’m nuts.”

“I resent that. Say yes.”

“Lizzie, I—” a panicked, helpless sort of look crosses Landon’s face. “This is really dishonest; I don’t think we should be…”

“Let me do the thinking for both of us, alright Little Bird?” Lizzie snips. “Getting back in my parents’ good books, the teachers off my backs for any sort of inevitable breakdown, and you… get to be Professor M’s potential son-in-law one day.”

“This is extremely coercive, you know,” Landon points out, but the protest is feeble at best. “And making me really uncomfortable. Nobody will buy it.”

“We’ll just have to put on a really good show,” she swears. “Say yes.”

 —

 Two things happen the next two days:

Landon attempts to say hi to Hope, who looks right through him to greet MG a good morning.

During lunch break, by some kind of miracle, he joins Hope and Lizzie for lunch just in time to hear Hope say, “You were right about the bio homework, by the way. Your ideas aren’t that bad, Saltzman.”

Lizzie cocks an eyebrow at Landon. “Welcome, Kirby.”

“Oh, hey Landon,” Hope greets warmly.

Landon takes all of thirty seconds to make up his mind.

Lizzie’s phone vibrates in her bag. When she checks it, it’s from Landon.

Just one word.

Yes.

 —

 Every Friday evening, the rag tag group of upper-secondary students meet for some dumb study group Emma had made them all participate in, in an effort to like, ‘bond’ as ‘one’ ‘community’ or something.

It’s astonishing that all of them consistently make it every single week, but no one will admit it’s because they appreciate each other’s company. They’d chalked it up to Stockholm Syndrome.

Rafael comes when he feels like it, but he’s usually stuck in detention helping Dorian jar newton eyes or something, but even he tries to be on his best behaviour so he doesn’t miss much of these.

It’s during one of these study groups that MG, having been not-so-discreetly been spying on Lizzie and Landon whilst they all parroted off chemical equations to each other, demands: “Why are you touching him?”

He’s probably been watching them really closely since the Bomb had Dropped.

Lizzie makes sure to have Josie walk into them in the courtyard one day with her hand placed very carefully on Landon’s thigh, and shocks her twin so much she goes running through the hallways until she bumps into Penelope, and blurts out the scene she just witnessed, swearing her to secrecy.

Penelope, of course, tells everyone else.

Lizzie pretends to fidget with the hem of her shirt. “Excuse you?”

MG narrows his eyes. “You just… keep putting your hand on Landon’s arm. Willingly. Why.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Penelope smirks, whilst Josie turns red and avoids Lizzie’s glare, “they’re the Salvatore School’s It Couple right now.”

“Fake news,” Jed coughs into his notes, and Kaleb guffaws.

Hope doesn’t do anything but watch the entire exchange with curious eyes.

“Look, Penelope, you don’t have to believe it,” Landon begins, but he’s making mopey eyes at Hope, so Lizzie decides to cut in.

“As devastated as I am to admit it, Frodo’s been growing on me,” Lizzie sighs, the vision of a woman distraught. “Who knew I was into nerd porn?”

MG’s ears might as well be whistling, and Jed’s cough sounds like a choke now.

“Girl, say what,” Kaleb says in one disbelieving breath. “Tell me you’re not serious. You okay? Been getting enough sleep? Is this a breakdown thing, ‘cause Emma said we have to like, show solidarity and help you visualise your inner child and shit—”

Lizzie smarts at that, just a little. Her lips part to shoot some of her automatic sass bullets, but surprisingly nothings comes out. Landon secretly puts his hand on her knee in a secret show of solidarity.

“Kaleb,” Josie says sharply. “People can change.”

Lizzie eyes Landon curiously. He shoots her a small smile, which she looks away from.

“Exactly,” Penelope nods, but she’s smirking in a way that says she doesn’t buy a single thing, and is enjoying every second of watching Landon squirm under everyone’s scrutiny. “Who’d you lose the bet to, Lizzie?”

Lizzie, despite herself, starts to feel annoyed. “I’ll have you know, Penelope, Landon isn’t the short end of an already short bunch of sticks—”

Landon tries to figure out the compliment there.

“Then – then prove it!” MG blurts out. “Kiss. If you’re really a couple, then – Kiss!”

That stops Lizzie short. “Milton. Ew.”

“Really gross, MG.” Hope shoots him a look of distaste.

“Voyeur much?” Penelope smirks.

“Nah, I’m with MG,” defends Kaleb. “This is really entertaining and all, but it’s kinda starting to weird me out. Suck his face. No way you’d do that willingly.”

“You’re all wrong,” Lizzie tells them politely. Or as politely as she can. Things are a-movin’ and she’s excited; she can already feel her legs tingling when she accidentally siphons some of Landon’s magic from his hand on her knee under the table. She swallows down the smugness in her voice, because this is exactly where she’d hoped the day would go. She turns to Landon, and wills him not to look so pale.

“Pucker up, ‘90s,” she coos.

Keeping her face as forced-smiley as possible she leans forward and gives Landon a peck on his lips. A small little one. A peck really, bird to bird.

Landon, to her discreet pleasure, kisses her back.

When they part their chaste, publicly-acceptable form of display, everyone is looking at them, shell-shocked.

Penelope steals Jed’s can of Coke just so she could do a spit-take.

 —

 “That plan worked out awesome. Score one to Saltzman,” Lizzie sighs victoriously as she plops down onto her bed. “Now on to Phase 2.”

“I really don’t want to know what Phase 2 is,” Landon mumbles. He’s got his arm slung over his eyes as he slumps three inches down into Lizzie’s plushy pink armchair.

“Phase 2 is Mom walking into us. She’s about to start baking downstairs. I know. It’s Tuesday. Ready?”

Slowly, Landon removes his arms. He stares at her. For like, a really long time. “What do you mean,” he widens his eyes, “by walking into us.”

Lizzie smiles deviously. Without warning, she lets out a very soft moan.

“Lizzie,” Landon hisses harshly.

“Yes, exactly, keep doing that,” Lizzie responds in a breathless voice, whilst she grins manically at him and flaps her hands, motioning for him to go louder.

“Lizzie,” Landon groans now, completely exasperated. “It’s barely been two days, I really doubt we’ll be having sex right now—”

“Yeah, keep talking dirty to me!” Lizzie all but bellows and jumps up on the bed, the mattress squeaking. She glares at Landon, who sighs, and very reluctantly joins her.

They jump up and down, and every so often Lizzie punches Landon in the arm so he lets out a believable grunt.

The mattress springs keep squeaking. Lizzie keeps up her panting.

After four more minutes of that, Landon’s a little out of breath, puts some spring in his jump, and lands in a pile of Lizzie’s haphazard pillows.

“Give it up, Lizzie,” he says, resuming his previous moping position of arm-over-eyes. “I think I pulled a muscle.”

“Sexy,” Lizzie says the way one might say ‘rancid foot’, but drops down next to him anyway. She stares at the ceiling, and they let out a long sigh.

After about another four minutes of moping, Lizzie turns to her side and swats Landon’s arm off his face. “Enough! Tomorrow night is another day.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he points out, before propping himself up on one elbow to face her. “About that kiss just now—”

“They totally bought it,” Lizzie can’t resist interrupting.

“You sure you okay with this?” he mumbles in that Landon way of his. He studies her face. She notes the dark circles framing his obsidian-blues.

“Getting cold feet already, Kirby?”

“No, it’s just that—”

Her door swings open. “Elizabeth, do you remember where your mum put the…”

Lizzie and Landon whip around to see a very livid Professor M, staring at them, at the space between them, at the sweat beading on Landon’s forehead, at Lizzie’s once-sleek French braid that has now shaken loose, at the two of them again, at the space between them, and once more at Landon.

“Professor Mika-Mikaels—” Landon squawks, turning white as a sheet.

The growl that emanates from Professor M seems to make the room tremble, and Landon all but stutters to a stop. Lizzie, however, is coming up sunflowers. She practically bounces to her knees and throws her hands up, eyes crinkling warmly, exclaiming, “What did you need of me, my beloved stepfather!”

“Well, darling, I was looking for your mother’s ridiculously expensive sea salt but now I’m looking for something else entirely,” he grits out through clenched teeth, despite being slightly mollified by Lizzie’s welcome.

“And that is?” Lizzie all but croons, making a very conscious move towards Landon. “We’re kind of in the middle of studying right now.”

“Banishing objects, hm? Your books are missing.”

“Invisique,” Lizzie sings in reply. Landon just wants her to shut the fuck up, right now.

Landon’s head disappears, which is a good thing, because he looks like he’s holding in from puking his guts out, the way Klaus observes him like he’s a piece of meat.

“You’re the phoenix, yes?”

“Yes,” Landon says squeamishly.

“Alright,” Professor M seems to deliberate, before flashing over to Landon, grabbing him and throwing him out the room and right down the stairs.

“Niklaus Mikaelson!” comes her mom’s furious bellow.

“For FUCK’S SAKE, KLAUS!” She hears Dad yell. “WE JUST TALKED ABOUT THIS.”

Screams erupt, there’s a clattering of feet, and Lizzie falls out of bed in a perfect traumatised swoon, back of her hand rested delicately on her forehead. “Stepfather! Can we not with the dramatics!”

“We’re going to have a talk about this later,” he warns with a finger wagging her way, his undisguised rage making his accent thicker.

“I’ll miss you when you’re suspended again,” Lizzie pouts.

He groans, already hearing Mom’s boots stomping up the stairs. “As shall I, my sweet.”

 —

 At least Landon’s gotten used to resurrecting. Cause of death: the ire of Professor Klaus Mikaelson.

Lizzie’s waiting for him with a warm blanket when he starts to stir, her head facing the sky like she’s enjoying the sunset. Blinking groggily, he turns onto his stomach and rubs the back of his neck. He feels the weather-worn wood of the docks pressing into his face and he groans. That’s going to leave a mark.

“Welcome back,” Lizzie quips.

“Just because I can’t die doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate some sympathy, Lizzie,” Landon mutters, throwing her a murderous look. “So what’s your damage.”

“Let’s see,” Lizzie says as she drapes the blanket over Landon’s crumpled heap of a body, face and all. “Two weeks of grounding. Mom suggested making it three weeks, but Dad intervened and said he’d rather us be on library duty instead for the rest of this semester.”

“Us?”

“Professor M also suggested throwing you out the window and have me try to levitate you before you hit the ground—”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“—but Mom was all Oh, maybe that’s a little too harsh,” Lizzie continues thoughtfully.

“A little?” Landon squeaks underneath the blue and white embroidered quilt. “Literally dying wasn’t enough?”

“But on the plus side, they were yelling so hard the entire school now knows we were caught post-doing the dirty.” Lizzie shoots him a grin. “On to Phase 3!”

“No!” Landon yells and clambers to his feet. “Lizzie, so far all your plans have kind of sucked for me, you know? How the hell is Hope supposed to like me now that she thinks I’ve slept with you!”

“Easy, lover boy,” Lizzie says, frowning. “This is the 21st century, she’s not a prude.”

“You don’t — you don’t know her like I do,” Landon says, burying his face in his hands and turning towards the water. “She’s not like y…”

He whirls around, hands already halfway lifting up like a gesture of apology but Lizzie’s already standing up, facing him squarely. Her eyes are narrowed as she takes him in coolly. “Not like?”

“Nevermind,” Landon says quickly. “Let’s grab some dinner, I’m starv—”

“Finish your fucking sentence, Frodo,” Lizzie says in a voice that is low and dangerous. Is it weird that he’s seeing some Klaus in the shadows of her face right now?

“Lizzie… let’s drop it.”

“No. Let’s hear you say it. Not like what? You were saying she’s not like me,” she hisses. Her fists are bunched into tight fists and he’s so glad she doesn’t have anything to syphon right now. He really hasn’t tried dying twice in the span of 12 hours.

“Look, I’m sorr—”

“Invisique,” she whispers.

“Lizzie!”

He hears the wooden boards squeak as she runs away, and when her feet hit grass there’s no telling where she might be.

“Fuck you, Landon!” he yells and heaves a rock into the water with a loud splash.

 —

tbc

#lizzie saltzman x landon kirby #lizzie x landon #legacies fanfiction #legacies #ishenwulf #hannah writes things #drunk writing: a series #otp: why are you carrying a sword #fic: where you cast those stones you wear

[blankdblank]

Hobbit Soulmate Pt 21

Shelob, the Ent Battle, more takes on the ride of the Rohirrim and Osgiliath’s scenes were shot in your absence. By the time you landed and turned on your phone messages had filled your inbox making you smirk at the curious sight. Richard would be calling to guide you to his car yet you were caught off guard by a sudden flash in front of you. Glancing up you flashed a wave to the line of cameras surely there for anyone else and felt your father’s hand on your back guiding you to the baggage claim. Waiting for the bags to drop Richard’s call came in and you answered the call, “Hey Rich.”

“You haven’t seen the news, have you?”

“I’ve been on a plane, so, no. Why, are you pregnant or something?”

Scoffing in a laugh back at you he replied, “Jaqi, you’ve been nominated for a Tony!” That had your jaw drop and you squeaked only to have him say, “I’m at the gate when you’re ready.” To himself he chuckled when you hung up and got to fetching your bags unable to share with your father just what he had said.

“Hello, I’m Richard,” He introduced himself shaking your father’s hand luring his attention from the assembled trio of cameras taking your picture, “It seems you flew through the news, Jaqi was nominated for a Tony Award.”

His eyes narrowed a moment and your father asked, “I’m a bit fuzzy on the names, who was Tony again? Oscar is the naked gold guy.”

Richard chuckled replying in the dropping of their hands guiding him to the trunk he opened, “Tony’s are for plays and musicals. Jaqi was nominated for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical. Very justly I might add.” Smirking at you as he claimed your bag to settle inside, circling his arm around your back to kiss your forehead, “Congratulations.” You leaned into his hug and he caught your father’s eye again asking, “Nice flight? Never been on one lasting to a full day before.”

Joe, “It was not the worst flight I’ve had. How has it been here? Your play went well? Got to tape it, right?”

Richard, “Yes,” leading the way to his car, the passenger seat of which was as far back as it could go making Joe smirk following you in after you’d climbed in behind Richard. “Play went well, very good cast.” After wetting his lips and starting up the engine he said, “Got my ears open for a new direction to look. Reading some plays and scripts I heard would be up for auditions soon, getting a good feel for them.”

Joe smirked saying, “If you need a break no need to hide that from me. Hoping Pumpkin takes some time off after this, you should have seen her, tearing away daily. Nearly a film roll of just bruises and injuries from it all.”

Richard stole a glance back at you making you smirk at him, “Mainly from the battle scenes, Helm’s Deep took four months,” dropping his jaw, “Exactly. Not counting the day I fell on my ax and bruised four of my ribs.”

Joe, “You had four cracked ribs and a sprained knee.”

“Right,” you replied with a hint of a giggle to yourself at the look Richard gave you.

Richard, “Do you have today off at least?”

“Yes, though first thing we have to be off to the lots here. Christopher Lee needs some body to read his lines with on the green screen and Dad is coming out of a mud pit.”

Joe chuckled explaining, “That’s how Peter described it, Uruk-hai are born out of a sort of sack in mud pits. I’m going to be scooped out and I kill an orc, get my orders and armor from Saruman before I’m off to hunt the Hobbits.”

Richard nodded, “Ah, well I can’t wait to see it. Sounds grand to fit all in one film.”

“Three,” you and Joe blurted out making Richard glance between you before you continued, “But you can’t tell yet. Peter said he got the green light to split it into three. Though even then he says there’ll be extended cuts put out later.”

Richard, “Sounds fantastic. You’re just working on the few scenes left then out here?”

“Also he wanted me to see what he had for the score and vocals so far. Plus I think he just likes a fresh opinion on things from a fan on occasion.”

Joe, “With a project like this I would want all the fans I could get. Besides Pumpkin, you’re more than a fan. You are a rock. For the die hard book pushers you were excellent to have around, for everyone from the actors to him, Fran and Phillipa. You remind them of the direction they need to go while being true to their own take on the tale.”

Richard, “They didn’t stick to the book?”

“They made things a bit more chronological from what I can see. So it doesn’t follow the flow of the book, but from A to B in the film events it works fluidly. It’s bound to be spectacular.”

Rich chuckled, “Yes, I have no doubt on that.”

Dinner was fixed up and with a comfy place in Richard’s spare room, formerly yours, the bonding was underfoot. Over the weekend his parents would come out to meet Joe and Chris dropped by with a cake for dessert eagerly folding you in a hug sharing all that Richard had been up to while you were gone, mainly all the shelf kits and the table he even built for Chris simply to keep himself distracted between sleepless nights.

.

Bright and early post lingering kiss ending your night of cuddling you joined your father in dressing for the subway path to work. Still groggy from the long flight and the early hour up your father cuddled with you making sure to keep hold of you in the bustling tunnels oblivious of the curious glances your way wondering about the tall stranger in their midst. The end of the line came with you entering the studio and stopping at the desk you peered over on your toes to get your name badges to get inside. Following the maze of directions at the end was Christopher Lee and Ian again, both who smiled in turning to face you and your father and in a group you joined the three in getting helped into costume. You however giggled your way into a green suit and off to the side to end up on a stool a few feet from Ian dressed as Gandalf. Holding the exact transcripts of the takes they had chosen to go with it all flooding back to you as you crossed your legs on the stool.

From above while your father was with the group of Orcs and Uruk-hai for their scenes later Christopher stood atop a platform set of the top of his tower with Grima peeking out behind a pillar to wave at you glad to see you both again. Animatedly you mimicked the voices of those speaking around Gandalf aiding in Saruman’s fiery retorts and threats. A momentary debate on what a man really does when stabbed in the back between Christopher and Peter ended in a trusting that the actor truly had experience over Peter in the matter before you watched the stand in for Saruman turn to trust fall to you and another green suit clad man. Starting what had already been recorded of the flipping fall using a harness and wires in a green screen while you had been running the several takes of dialog and Grima’s attack then collapse.

Beside Peter and Ian however in the swap off to another set you were inside the birthing pit of the Uruk-hai and you smirked seeing your father clawing his way out of his mud sack. He didn’t get the reasoning behind the foolish side of acting, but the more he got to know his fellow Uruk-hai actors and stunt men you worked with it became clear, the wish to do anything to bring the character to life. Because at the end of the day it might seem foolish but exactly what is needed to fill it all out for spectators, so animatedly he snarled and growled with subtle clicks and rumbles to his voice exposing his fake teeth in his growling delivery of his lines. Mainly for how brightly your smile got seeing how happy you were in working together on this project. Loving this film more and more for how close you had grown in these past months together after so long apart, unable to ever forget a moment of it even without the shoeboxes of pictures from it you had filled.

It was a major point for him at first, he was here to support you and somehow he had ended up with more lines than you did, background murmurs was the best you were granted through Rohan in your time outside of Gimli. A major sticking point for even the main crew how hard you pushed to just be the stand in, loving it all so much and somehow never being jealous or petty because you had to remain silent, part of why him and Howard Shore agreed to have you help on the score for background vocals. Subtle as ever but your voice would be flooded through the films wherever they could manage it.

Through the week your father would return for more fill ins for his character and others with all the other dark creatures while the next day started you off in the sound studio a the other end of the lot. Just walking in you inspected everything from afar only to smile when Howard turned from his papers to you taking notice of his company at the closing of the heavy door. Ushering you over hands were shaken and right away you delved into what he had so far. Track by track to rough clips of the film you stared at in awe between glances down tugging yourself out to aid in laying out the lyrics they had chosen of Elvish choirs yet to be recorded to start vocalizing what you had thought up for the tone of it.

Always soft at first you caught his grins at the talent and voice you held, losing yourself to the first relay of actual demos of the tracks often layered to form a mock choir. All day you slaved over it with a basic idea that through the week would grow grander with actual choirs to be brought in later, before leaving however you anxiously sat aside while Peter arrived to sit through it all with eyes shut soaking it all in. Minute changes were suggested with an overall approval of what you had done.

Busy didn’t come close, because once your father was off to Texas for a well needed break for him you were back in school and still helping with the choirs and score. Often taking your violin with you to go with the piano bits you would use to help share what you had thoughts on for the start of the recordings that Viggo came to do. A day of tight hugs and sharing again of the developed rolls of film you had brought to show off you both reminisced and shared glee that you would be coming back to work together in pick ups later in the year.

.

Off to New York however in June you went and exhaled sharply in the lobby of your apartment building. Glancing at the stairs you seemed to freeze in place feeling so different in that moment since the last time you had come down them and from the sound of your Landlord’s office opening had your head turning and your grin creeping open seeing him stroll out to greet you. Richard was under the weather and while Lee seemed to both be busy with new auditions and stewing over the picture you sent him with the guys from a dinner in New Zealand beside Elijah with the note, ‘Guess who I got to work with, xo’ on the back of it.

It was confirmed you had no guest seat so you were going stag, leaving it all the more daunting, but Ian would be presenting and would be picking you up and driving you home again. Two days, you were here for the weekend and barely would have time to head back to the airport to catch a red eye back to make it to your class in time. What you didn’t expect was to hear your landlord say, “Got a call earlier, someone from some a driver company confirmed a car for you in a bit.”

“I, what? I didn’t call anyone.” Pulling your phone out of your pocket you turned it on and watched a message from your grandparents you listened to, informing you that the driver would be taking you shopping for the event. In a huff you glanced up, “Apparently it’s a gift.” Making your Landlord smirk then usher you up to eat something before they got there.

.

“Elijah Wood?!” The name rang out over the line and finally able to talk for a good chunk of time your schedules overlapped he wanted to hear all you could share on your fellow cast members and how it went with your Dad especially through the long shoot.

Sure enough though once you had hung up from calling Richard, on his way from a soaking bath to clear up his chest to his bed you assured he had finished the soup you had left for him in the freezer. Then hung up to let your stuffy teddy bear in his miserable sick funk rest your Landlord called up the stairs for you. Popping up you hurried to your stash of cash from your porn man stash bag you pocketed and assured you had your phone and keys to hurry down to see where you would be taken to. Straight to the designer district you were driven and the town car parked with the driver popping out to escort you through each store.

Right away you felt every inch Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman out of place but keeping your focus on the clothes you browsed through the first flashing grins to each lanky assistant coming closer to see just what you might be up to. Along the wall you stopped and eyed a silver clutch with a chain you could use again and again that without a sign of anything you might feel was Tony worthy you carried it to the register and stunned the man in the suit behind the counter who made sure to make a show of checking each of your hundred dollar bills before adding them to the register and printing your receipt he added to the designer sack for your bag. “Thank you. Have a lovely day,” you said turning to head out to the street again only to pass up the next one selling only absurdly unaffordable bags to one that might have a dress.

Apparently more amused than he had assumed Greg, your driver patiently lingered behind you all through while people stared at you in your ink splattered jeans, converse and baggy long sleeved shirt wearing self under all your loose curls bounding around and pooling into your face. Though this time seeing the bag from the shop down the street the assistants seemed a bit more pleasant in your presence there, yet no more helpful while you shifted the gowns on the rack. It was hard to find something close to fitting you in this land made for giants and not the under five foot bubble you lived in, and those near to your size ended up to be more prom like. Yet tucked on a rack in the back you glanced back making Greg smirk and help you bring down the pink sparkly backless number you had found. “I think I have to go pink.”

That had him chuckle and turn as an assistant came over to you asking, “Wouldn’t you prefer something newer? That rack is for last season.”

“Most of the new racks don’t have my size.”

Spreading her fake grin she said, “Well we could always have them resized and shipped here for you. It is quite handy you know, we call you when it comes in.”

“That would be handy, only, I need the dress for tomorrow.” Her head tilted slightly and you asked, “You don’t have dressing rooms, do you?”

“Allow me,” she said with a grin claiming the hanger from you guiding you to the dressing rooms nearly half the way back you came from in a spacious seating area around a platform surrounded by mirrors. Greg took a seat holding your bag he silently claimed flashing you a comforting grin and watched you be led through the open area to one of the changing rooms. Right outside she waited as if to listen to you possibly shoving the gown into your pants or something before you made a break for it. Rolling your eyes at the shadow under the door you turned and started to strip, folding your clothes and already seeing how slim your figure had shifted again compared to your formerly heavily toned self. Back to your sort of normal curvy petite self you stood in your underwear and undid the button on the dress behind your neck hole and lowered it to step into it and ease it up.

Around you it seemed to hug you just right and lifting up onto your toes you turned seeing the train of the dress still hanging a bit around your feet easily mended with some pins as this fabric would be a nightmare to hem in such short notice. Pastel pink coated in shimmering panels into the design coating the sleeveless dress almost resembling a skyscraper making you smirk. Over your back, entirely open dangled a woven pair of shimmering beaded chains visible when you raised your hair to pool on top of your head.

The knock on the door had your head turning at the assistant asking, “Need help securing it?”

Exhaling softly you lowered your hands to hold the skirt to open the door making her turn and look you over stunned at the figure hidden under your baggy layers, “No. I could use a second opinion though.”

Up and down her brows shifted then she forced out her same grin saying, “You certainly will be the best dressed at your prom.”

Grinning back you said, “Thank you,”

Reaching out she lifted the tag dangling from your left arm hole saying, “Since this one is last season it will be half off, but hopefully for you none of the other teens will be wearing the same one.” She stepped back saying, “I’ll wait here to carry it for you once you’ve changed back.” Closing the door for you making you roll your eyes again and turn reaching up to unbutton the dress mouthing a curse filled rant at the woman in your shimmy out of it and into your clothes again.

Irritated you fluffed out your curls adamant even if you ever became a household name you’d never change how you dressed or acted and lifted the gown the assistant claimed and fake floated her way to the register missing the face you made at her back that drew a chuckle from Greg who stood to follow you. The half off but still ridiculously expensive dress was folded into a garment bag even though clearly the almost sneering women were oh so blatantly judging you on your choice from their last season. Again a show was made of testing your bills and Greg claimed your second bag following you out to follow your curious path to a shoe store.

Had they held superpowers you would have been thrown from the shop upon entering and as you strolled through the first rack your eyes rose to the manager who approached you after having been whispered to by a pair of Barbie looking evident arm candy wives who had finger wagged him over to complain. Grinning at him you said, “Hello, I suppose I’m being asked to leave?”

Calmly but no less passive aggressively he replied with a fake grin, “Unfortunately I am here to enforce a certain image, and with our best customers here, someone so, casually dressed, no matter the bags in your possession does not fit the mood of our store.”

“Ok, have a nice day, no doubt you need to keep up your image with awards in town.”

“Exactly.” He answered with a nod, “So glad you understand.”

You smirked saying, “Do you watch the Tony’s?”

“Yes,” he answered excitedly, “Every year.”

You nodded and said, “I hear this one’s going to be amazing. Bye bye.” You said turning away leaving Greg a bit confused but two steps behind.

“Bye bye,” he replied waving you off before turning to the smiling pair glad of their victory.

Outside however Greg asked lowly, “Why bring up the show if you weren’t going to say you are nominated?”

Smirking up at him you said, “Delayed satisfaction. Plus I get to imagine his reaction when I show up.” Making Greg chuckle as you added, “Once I cross five feet I’m not allowed to be openly petty, till then, subtly jerks are open targets.”

“Where to now?” He asked seeing you were headed back to the car.

“There’s a great little place I know for shoes, probably not going to be tabloid worthy for some.”

Smirking to himself he followed your directions and unwilling to leave the bags even in the trunk he draped the dress bag over his arm and carried your purse behind you only to pause seeing the sheer number of Drag Queens inside feeling instantly curious why you were here. Behind the counter the first gasp came from the Dolly Parton dressed woman who hurried over in the sea of her friends who were browsing her new stock in the shoe shop fueling their little scene of performers in town, all of whom loved it when you used to come in and fawn over their incredible but oversized collection. Your pouts stirred the owner to start carrying smaller sizes as well aiding the shorter Queens in need of shoes as well for their own personas.

“While I live and breathe! Jaqi Pear!” Eagerly she folded you into a shoulder hug faking a kiss on your cheek followed by another on the other cheek.

The raven haired Cher beside her asked, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be resting? You are going to the Tony’s tomorrow.”

“I would, however, I happen to need shoes.”

Dolly’s mouth dropped open, “I did not just hear that!”

A fiery haired Lucille Ball asked, “You’re wearing our shoes to the Tony’s?!”

“Well they kicked me out of Louboutin.”

A Madonna said, “They did not!”

“They did.”

Dolly glanced at Greg asking with a smirk, “New arm candy? What happened to your handsomely bashful Lee?”

After a giggle you answered, “Lee is working in California, Greg here was hired by my grandparents to drive me for a shopping trip today.”

Cher pointed at the bags, “Your choices?” you nodded, “Mind a peek?”

Shaking your head you said, “Not at all. It’s last season for the dress but it’s still lovely.”

Dolly, “On you anything would be lovely.”

Gasps sounded in a medley of praises for it as they opened the bag seeing the front of the dress, “It’s backless, and really long, so I’ll need some good platform heels. Hopefully a bit more burlesque than hooker for the height,” the terms making the ladies smirk and watch Dolly claim the second bag to peer inside.

Dolly gasped again lifting the glittery grey fold over clutch, “This bag-,”

“I picked it first, tried to keep it plain but a tad flashy at the same time.”

Cher, “Do you want heels to match the dress or bag?”

“Bag I think, I would not be against glitter if you have it.”

Dolly smirked, “Honey, we have glitter.” Claiming your hand to guide you back to the section for their smaller shoes, “I think I have just the pair for you.” All around you the group lingered helping to give thoughts on the line of shoes they all suggested with tips on how to help you walk in them, each sticking to your preference for strapped shoes so they wouldn’t fall off mid step.

Tilting your head peering at your reflection in the floor to ceiling mirrored corner Lucille broke your focus saying, “Honey you should try it with the dress.”

Dolly nodded saying, “Yes, we have a changing room, have ladies test their looks here all the time.” Leading you back to it hanging the garment bag up and they all waited and gasped again when you stepped out near to blushing at their praise for your choice.

Madonna, “That dress on you, perfection.”

“Thank you, the sales woman said I would look lovely at my prom.”

Cher shook her head, “Idiots, all of them.”

Dolly said coming over with another pair of shoes. “Seeing it on, I think this pair,” crouched down she helped you to add them and stood guiding you over to the mirrors they all nodded approving of the silver heels with straps crossing over the tops of your feet to wrap around your ankles securing with a nice buckle you loved. Madonna broke out her hem kit and got to helping you stealthily pin up the hem to the right length in the front to ease your walk then eased out some thread to blend into the base material she made small points of stitches between each sparkly section through the revealed base fabric along the front. Removing the pins at the easy task she smiled packing it up and you thanked her for the help with it.

Accepting the bag each of them had admired on their own break as you changed they all nodded, “Perfect,” brushing your hair over your left shoulder.

Cher, “Yes, leave your fabulous hair down, maybe pin this side over to the left, or a nice braid,” she said earning an agreeing nod from you.

A few more tips were given and you changed back again meeting the ladies at the register in their urge to let you get home to rest up as much as you could. While she unfolded the bag for your shoes you said, “Thank you again. I had no clue what I would do for this on the flight over. You’re all so wonderful, really.”

Dolly, “Honey, you know you are welcome here anytime, and we will always love to help you out. We got to stick together in this big city.” She glanced at your other bags again, “And you will get so much out of that dress and bag.”

Cher, “For the event you get the discount.”

“I’ll definitely remember to name the shop if anyone asks me, and when I get back, as thanks I’ll let you have the bag.” Their jaws dropped in surprised squeaks, “Usually I need to carry more so you all might get more use out of it.”

Dolly, “I’m throwing in those wedges you liked too,” hurrying over to go fetch the simple black strappy wedges you had noticed earlier.

Cher, “You’re giving us the bag?”

You nodded, “You have my word,”

Cher, “Oh I’m not doubting your word, processing, I call first dibs!” she said pointing to herself when Dolly hurried back earning a pointed glare.

Dolly, “Fine, but I get to use on my birthday. And of course Lucy you get it for your show while Madonna you get it for that charity mixer after that earning agreeing nods while Dolly took your bills and counted out the change you slipped into the donation tin earning more grateful hugs and well wishes from the group on your way out to the car again behind the still slightly confused Greg.

.

Again you were in your apartment where you checked your messages confirming just when to be ready for Ian to come get you. Nice and simple you had to keep your hair and makeup as again you would be slipping back into the Cell Block Tango number with the cast from Chicago, who were excited to be up for three awards themselves as part of the show. Bathed and ready you got to stretching and warming up your voice for the number you would be performing live. Shaking from nerves you stood ready pacing in the front lobby after Ian’s call that he was on his way with your Landlord confirming that he got the channel and you had hung up from the call to your family in Texas all watching and taping the show as well.

It all seemed to blur together, outside the car pulled up and you were now outside holding onto your bag seeing Ian on his feet smiling and looking you over. “Simply splendid Darling.” Folding you into a hug you melted into, “Just breathe, I know these nerves well. Just breathe.” Taking your hand guiding you to the car you slid into. “I hope you will be up for an after party when all this is through.”

“I doubt I’ll be able to sleep.” Making him chuckle again and fold his hand around yours on your lap as he closed the door and the car turned to head to the Radio City Music  Hall. The full ride he edged you out of your nerves to a calmer state sharing what he had been up to and into a new level of nerves hearing who would be watching confirmed in the audience.

Then before you knew it flashes were in front of you and out again you eased behind the well known actor who made certain to keep his hold on your hand. Beside him you posed smiling for the cameras unable to help but calm remembering the shop manager who no doubt would be knowing who he had turned away yesterday. The giggle you gave had Ian smirking and inquiring on the amusement only to laugh at your story and guide you on. Skipping his interviews to keep from you being pushed ahead alone he led you inside

And right off a radio and clipboard clad man came over confirming your arrival and handed you a time sheet so you would know when to head back to get ready for the performance. Upon running into two ladies also in your show, who pushed that back even earlier so you could relax and melt into the roles again with ample time, the plan was adjusted slightly. Right in the section beside Ian and his famous eager friends who gushed at meeting you and seeing your performance you claimed your assigned seat and settled in for the start of the show.

One opening number got the ball rolling and post opening monologue for a play after the host Rosie O’Donnell came out again to break the space between presenters to come for the first award of the evening. Plays came first, and right before the Choreography award your group was up. A bit of an odd mix in the tamer shows up this year including Jesus Christ Superstar opposing your undoubtedly more scandalous show. With your eyes closed you were back in the same makeup and bikini costume layered in sheer sleeves and stockings complete with the same bob wig pinned to your now braided and capped hair. On the dark stage you exhaled to the first click of the music behind your rolling cell bars to the sight of the curtains opening again.

For all they had heard about your show to see it live was another thing altogether, and since the ensemble and choreography was up for awards along with you this was the song they chose, Cell Block Tango. Across the faces of the audience awe locked at the flawless fierce performance fully showing off all your hard work. And at your same growling line and threatening glint of murder in your brilliantly lit up eyes when the red scarves unfurled from your palms chills rippled through the rooms lingering as you folded back into the amping up medley of fierce dancers all growling through to the end of the song. Loud and fierce to fading silence again your voices drew back at your retreat behind your cage bars again as the lights dropped lower and lower until the curtains closed to the sound of the slamming of the bars shut. Seven minutes the number lasted and even the host Rosie O’Donnell had to take a moment to find her voice again before the crowd erupted when you had cleared the stage fully.

Best Choreography was up next and clearly after seeing just a sliver of the show the crowd already had a favorite. Sure enough when Chicago was called cheers could be heard from you all back stage while the appointed official face of the show for the evening came out to the sound of the cheering crowd on their feet again to give his speech prepared.

By the next award you had changed and snuck your way out again to another play category being named, hushedly giggling to Ian’s compliments to your performance and those from the group around you. Costume design came up next and Best Musical afterwards, both wins for Chicago earning cheers again for the same official bringing out another prepped speech sounding a bit the same as the others with just a few new names or details to each. More play categories came up and was finally naming the best performers in each knotting up your stomach.

Next to last, your name was read in the list of nominees for the Lead Actress in a Musical. And with a camera swiveling to show you glancing to Ian now squeezing your hand as if to wake you up, a blink later you watched the statuesque blonde holding the trophy while Nathan Lane held the envelope and upon opening it he smiled himself and dying into cheers you heard, “Jaqi Pear as Velma Kelly in Chicago!”

Ian’s cologne and sight of the man over his shoulder was what you saw next. Gathering your skirt mid giggle through Ian’s embrace around you your feet settled and he helped you up to your feet. All the way a camera followed along for the start of your downward glancing trot to the steps you giggled easing around the clapping crowd to the steps where the cameras got a nice shot of your shoes. Distantly stirring screams from the watching ladies from the shop pointing at the shoes they helped you clearly seen until you dropped your skirt again in holding out your palms to the tall blonde for the award she was holding out to you. At your side Nathan gave you a side hug saying, “Congratulations.”

In a giggle you replied as he lowered the mic for you, “Thank you, now just watch me drop this and trip over it later.” Making him chuckle and step back to Rosie’s side as you looked over the quieting crowd. In their silence you said, “Above anyone else, I would like to say thank you to my Dad, you sacrificed so much to get me through two phenomenal schools to meander my way here. My Grandparents as well, who have done everything they can to aid and guide me along as well with the rest of my family who I know think I’m a tiny bit mad. My Mate Richard, who is currently sick in bed right now, you’re indescribably amazing. And of course absolutely for tonight and getting the role my teacher Mr Tarl, who first asked me to be under understudy and four days before the show was to start came to say I’d gotten the role,” luring chuckles as you giggled again. “It was all last minute but I wouldn’t change it for the world, thank you, the amazing cast, to the crew, my teachers and friends and even strangers who’ve believed in me to give me absurd chances I could never dream of. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

Turned again you were guided by the blonde backstage for an interview and a picture before heading back to your seat once you’d given an address to the team in charge of sending out your engraved awards you would be receiving tin two weeks. To your slightly selfish wish to have it with you Richard’s address was given and keeping hold of the blank trophy you would be returning at the end of the show you went back to your seat again to the happy group.

Producers came next with the largest groups hurrying up to their own speeches and at the near growling clench of your stomach back to the car, trophy free you climbed in joining the boisterous group all excited for the night ahead. Dinner was at a penthouse apartment for none other than Elton John, who you didn’t remember seeing there, but apparently was and loved your number and full show he’d seen the year prior in person. Behind the closed doors you stole a much needed glass of sparkling cider to keep your hand busy with a task instead of shaking at your side while the other held your purse. Like Cinderella however by midnight you were back in the car with Ian, who had a flight to catch as well hugging you tightly as he murmured, “You sleep well Darling, well earned. You were fabulous.”

“Thank you, fly safe. See you soon.”

You had climbed out but heard him reply, “Yes you will, Night, night.” Waving in return as you closed the door then turned to climb up your stoop into your apartment building.

“Oh my.” The words had you giggling and a tight hug from your Landlord came next before his gushing on the show and your win ending with a mini near pout from the tall man hearing that it would be two weeks for your statue to be delivered and the ones used in the show were dummies.

All the same a shower was called for and changed back into traveling clothes you packed your shoes and dress. Holding your emptied clutch you hurried to hand off to the screeching ladies at the shop joining in on the celebrations as well for a few moments before waving you off back to head for your flight to England where your stuffy teddy Bear was now calling you from after having watched the show his family had taped for him so he could rest and watch later.

“You didn’t have to mention me, Love.”

“Yes I did handsome. How is your head?”

“Better, seen the end of it I think.”

“Chest?”

“Still a bit congested. But I am on the mend. We are celebrating when you get home.”

“Yes, I am dropping off my bag making you some soup stealing some cuddles and you are back to bed while I head to class.”

“Ugh,”

“Don’t make me hire Chris to hold you down.”

Again he grumbled but loved having the conversation with you all the same until you had to hang up for your flight. Missing you even more now that he was under the weather and had missed another milestone for you halfway across the world, just wanting to cuddle with you all the more to make up for it, aching to be able to join you in celebrating something of your hard won rewards for a change. Feeling just being in the crowd while you performed or rehearsed was nowhere near enough.

Pt 22

#Richard Armitage x Reader OC #lotr #FIlming #Tony's

[superpuppies]

Hobbit High

Chapter 8: The Walk Home

Fandom- The Hobbit

Characters- Ori X Dwalin, Bilbo X Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dori, Nori, Gandalf, Thlandral, Legolas

Rating- PG15

Word count- 2,004

Archive Link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/10027448/chapters/57584149#workskin

Summary- After a stressful day at school Oir is looking forward to a cuddle session with Dwalin though Dori may have some other plans in mind.

Hey all, here’s the newest from my mind, please keep in mind that I do have dyslexia and I really do try to fix all spelling mistakes but some will always slip through. If you spot some please let me know and I will do my best to correct it. Thank you.

Much to the pleasure of all the boys the rest of the day went smoothly. Nori reluctantly transferred Ori on to Dwalin’s side explaining that he needed to talk with Bilbo’s parents. So Dwalin would have to get Ori home, Nori would follow as soon as he could. Ori just nodded too exhausted to care, Dwalin understood and charged with the safe delivery of Ori home, he wrapped his arm around Ori and started toward the Ri house.

The cool fall air was getting chillier than usual and Ori soon began to shiver as he and Dwalin walked. Dwalin tightened his arm around Ori and as they turned on to Smaug Way Dwalin couldn’t help himself, he reached down and tilted Ori’s chin up toward him before planting a soft kiss onto the confused red heads lips.  Ori smiled a sleepy little smile up at Dwalin as they separated. “Key?” Dwalin asked.

“Front pocket of my bag.” Ori mumbled.

Once inside, Dwalin helped Ori up to his room, where Ori toed off his shoes and made for his bed dragging Dwalin behind him.  “Um, Ori.”

“Lay with me for a little while?” Ori half whined, stopped and turned back toward Dwalin a little nervous. “I just thought since we’re dating now and all, but you don’t have to or anything. I’m tired but I wanted to spend some time with you.”

“Sure, can I just put my bag down first?” Dwalin chuckled; his Ori was just too cute sometimes.

“Oh, sorry.” Ori half chuckled; his embarrassment cut short by the wince of pain that shot through his chest.

Dwalin dropped his bag by the door and towed off his shoes before walking to the other side of Ori’s bed and settling on top of it, his back against the wall.

Ori suddenly felt highly nervous but he was also extremely tired and Dwalin is warm and well, Dwalin and he had dreamt about cuddling with Dwalin for years. Ori settled and shifted so that he was leaning against Dwalin’s chest. They stayed that way for hours, talking quietly about the day or anything that popped into their heads, occasionally sharing a gentle lingering kiss until they drifted off into a light sleep.

 Dori arrived home at dusk, walking in he noted how quiet the house was, he walked through the house calling out for his brothers. As he passed through the kitchen, he put down is briefcase and went up the back stairs, noting to himself that he needed to fix the top step again when it creaked under his weight. He continued on to his room and put down his suitcase before looking for his brothers again.

Dwalin blinked awake, glancing around as he tried to find what woke him. “Ori? Nori?” Dori’s voice sounded down the hall causing Dwalin to grumble.

Rolling so that he leaned over Ori, he tried to wake him. “Ori, your brother’s home. Ori.” Ori barely registered that Dwalin had spoken the only sign he gave was a fluttering of eyelids. Dwalin leaned closer and whispered. “Fine you stay here, I’ll go talk to him.” Dwalin kissed the tip of Ori’s nose with a smile.

Dori opened Ori’s bedroom door and found Dwalin leaning over Ori with what he deemed a predatory smirk. Dori instantly sprang into action, pulling Dwalin off the bed and out into the hall. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!” He growled in the startled young man’s face.

“I wasn’t doing anything.” Dwalin stumbled to keep up with the eldest Ri, he had always feared this was how Dori would react but there was something very strange about seeing it actually happen, not that his paternal protective side didn’t come out, it just didn’t come out this strong all that often.

“Don’t give me that bull shit, Dwalin.” Dori tightened his grip on Dwalin’s arms as he leaned into the boy. “I know what you want with him, I just never pegged you as one who would have the nerve to take him in my own house.”

“I wasn’t, I swear to god, I wasn’t. Nori asked me to walk him home”

Dori slammed Dwalin into the wall as he growled in his face. “And you just thought you would take the opportunity!”

Dwalin huffed heavily from the impact before countering Dori’s argument. “No! God no. I was just trying to wake him up.”

“Stop lying to me!” Dori roared.

Ori leaned against his bedroom doorframe trying to understand why Dori had Dwalin pinned to the wall. “Dori?” Ori asked, his voice soft with sleep and pain but was ignored as Dori pulled Dwalin away from the wall just to slam him back against it.

“I didn’t do anything!” Dwalin shouted, heavy footsteps started up the stairs that Dori didn’t hear to caught up in his anger he threw an angry punch at Dwalin.

Dwalin just managed to dodge Dori’s punch, locking eyes with Nori as he stepped up off the stairs

“Holy Shit!” Nori ran at Dori before he took another swing at his best friend. “Dori! What the hell are you doing!?”

“Stop, Dori!”  Ori grabbed Dori’s arm horrified, he had only ever seen Dori this angry once before and that had been after he found out his girlfriend was behind the falsified report that almost lost him custody of Nori and Ori.

“Get off me!” Dori shoved Ori away from him as he turned back toward Dwalin.

Ori hit the wall hard on his left side making a pathetic pained sound before sliding down the wall. Nori wedged himself between Dori and Dwalin pushing his brother back.

“Oh shit, Ori!” Dwalin wiggled out from behind Nori and rushed to Ori’s side, he lifted the younger boy’s chin as Ori coughed out a small bit of blood. Dwalin wiped the blood from Ori’s chin.  “Ori?”

“I can’t tell if it’s better or worse.” Ori half laughed, gasping at the pain it caused.

“Shit” Nori breathed as he watched Ori choke on some blood.

The sound caught Dori’s attention, he knelt down in front of Ori and gently lifted his shirt. The bruise was darker and seemed to pulsate; two ribs were at a sharper angle then the others. When Dori carefully pressed his pointer and middle finger to them Ori took a sharp inhale, without looking up Dori began distributing orders.

“Nori, start the car.” Dori pulled Ori shirt back into place.

“Right.” Nori gave Dwalin a quick glance then ran down the stairs.

“Dwalin, I need you to help me get him to the car.”

Dwalin swallowed down his rising guilt. “Okay, how do you want”?

“Let’s see if we can get him walking.”

They struggled to get Ori on his own feet without applying any pressure to his chest. Finally Ori stood and leaned back against Dwalin’s chest as the older boy held him up by the band of his pants. Slowly they made it down the stairs, Dori guiding them. Dori held the front door open for them and locking it behind them.

Nori shot out of the driver’s seat to open the back door for Dwalin and Ori, after another struggle to get Ori into the car they were finally on their way.

Ori laid his head against the seat back, his fingers working across the seat to settle on Dwalin’s. This only made the guilt tighten in the older boy’s chest even more, but still he wove his fingers together with Ori’s. Ori let a soft smile settle on his lips as he watched the streets pass outside his window, he felt an odd sense of calm as his only concern was making breathing hurt less. When Dori drove past the turn for his office Ori’s sense of calm began to fade, he didn’t start to panic until Dori bypassed the next street as well. “Where are we going?” The panic tightened Ori’s throat.  Dori deliberately ignored the question while Nori gave Dori a nervous sideways glance but stayed quiet.  Ori’s fingers tightened around Dwalin’s as he asked again. “Where are we going!” Ori took a sharp gasping breath. “Your office was four streets back!”

Nori chewed the inside left corner of his lip as he too looked at Dori for some answers. Dori, for his part, adamantly refused to supply one, his eyes locked on the road before him. His face twisted with concern as he heard the pained and persisting gargling breaths Ori took. “Where are we going?” Ori screeched in a harsh shrill that had him gasping in pain.

With the gasp Dori caved and quietly, in his best doctoral tone answered he youngest brother. “I don’t have what we need at the office, so” Ori visibly tightened, his eyes darting around the car for some form of escape. “We are going to the hospital.” Ori shook violently, wrenching his hand from Dwalin’s as a high arching whine escaped him.

Ori’s chest tightened at the word ‘hospital’ his muddled and pain confused thoughts snapped to a sharp point, he had to stop the car, had to get out, go anywhere ells. The only question was how? The building panic sent hundreds of crazed ideas flying through his head at a dizzying speed. He arched away from the seat and Dwalin a high whine pulling from his chest. He hurt too much to deal with a panic attack too!  Of course, this realization simply added to his panic.

He started with his brothers, first offering up a hundred different reasons why they didn’t need the hospital but as each failed, he became more desperate until he was trying to bargain with them. All his efforts slammed into the brick wall of Dori’s stubbornness while Nori remained silent with a sympathetic glance at Ori.

His panic kicked into overdrive and with nowhere ells to turn Ori turned to Dwalin and beseeched the older boy to save him.  Ori babbled out a verity of options and bribes that Dwalin only stared back at wide eyed. Dori snapped at one of the offers Ori had made but Ori was spitting them out so fast he couldn’t tell what had Dori in such a huff nor did he care.

Dwalin glanced out the front window and with some relief saw that they were arriving at the hospital.  Ori was practically lying across him offering everything from doing his homework for him to sexual favors as payment for getting Ori away from the hospital. Glancing back at the panicked, desperate, pain filled face before him, Dwalin sighed. Cupping Ori’s face, Dwalin leaned in and agreed to whatever Ori had just offered him. It took a moment to get Ori to realize he had agreed but by the time he did Dori was out of the car and halfway to the hospital door. Carefully Dwalin maneuvered Ori out of the car and turned him away from the hospital, Nori slowly fallowed them a little smirk on his lips. With a quick glance behind them Dwalin sighed again to see Dori leading a doctor toward them. Ori was trying to pick up some speed but his injuries were stopping the progress.

The doctor put his hand on Ori’s shoulder, Ori looked up and flew into a full panic, he spun, his arms flailing as he shouted at the poor man. Dwalin fought to get Ori’s arms down and before he knew it there was a needle in Ori’s left arm. Ori’s panic crested he managed to get a few good punches in on Dwalin, Dori who had come over in an attempt to calm him and the doctor, before his limbs became too heavy. Ori slumped against Dwalin then slid down him to the ground where his eyes closed despite himself. Nori chuckled at the sight now before him; thankfully a nurse was closing in on them with a gurney. With Ori now down for the count it took Dori, Nori and Dwalin to lift him onto the gurney.

As they walked into the hospital Dori listed off in detail the extent of Ori’s injuries. An O.R. was prepped and Ori was taken from them. Dori busied himself with paperwork while Nori sat next to a stunned quiet Dwalin, chewing his fingernails.

When an hour had passed and Dori had settled on the other side of Nori, Dwalin stood and absentmindedly said. “I need to call my parents.” Before going in search of a phone.

Nori started to fallow feeling strange about leaving Dwalin alone then remembered he had his cell phone on him and hung back. Scrolling through the contacts Nori tapped Thorin’s name.

#the hobbit #ori #nori #Dori #dwalin x ori #dwalin #dwori #throrin #thorin x bilbo #Bilbo Baggens #Fili #Kili #fanfiction #AU HIghschool

[theliterateape]

What Your Preferred Presidential Candidate Says About You

by Peter Kremidas

Hi. Well are horoscopes bullshit or what?

You know what isn’t? This 100 percent accurate assessment of your personality based on what presidential candidate you prefer. No I did not include all of them, I’m not a psychopath.

What Your Preferred Presidential Candidate Says About You

Joe Biden - You are incapable of seeing that the film “The Boy In The Striped Pajamas” is just a cynical setup for a meaningless grand tragic moment that uses the holocaust as a prop. When you imagine a Nazi holding hands with “a black” (your words), it makes you cry. Or you’re Jim Carey in awe of what this man can do with his face. If none of this describes you, then you are a moth drawn in by his teeth.

Amy Klobachar - You ask kids what they want to be when they grow up and then roll your eyes at their answers.

Bernie Sanders - That one part in Return of The King when Aragorn, the first king of men in ages after the long reign of Denethor The Steward of Gondor, says, “My friends, (Pause, “huh? what?” say the faces of Merriodoc, Pippen, Samwise, and Frodo) you bow to noone,” and then they all bow to the hobbits? It breaks you every time. You’ve got a good heart and also you think that inspiring young voters while scaring the ever loving shit out of old voters is a sound political strategy. You shop ethically.

Michael Bennet - When you first saw the character Mr. Makey on South Park and heard him say “M,kay?”, you thought to yourself, “I would follow that man into hell.”

Elizabeth Warren - You were basically Hermione when you were a kid. Fuck you. Also, so we’ve all had the experience of knowing that somebody didn’t understand what we just said because, upon finishing, there’s just a stare, a pause, and then they start nodding before saying “Yeah!” followed by something not related to what was just said but totally related to what they had previously said. You know that thing? It happens to you often. But to be fair you talk like Ira Glass and they were trying to mentally place where they’ve heard that voice before and that’s probably why they couldn’t focus on your words. Fuck you.

Andrew Yang - You have a real dope idea for an app, bro.

Pete Buttigieg - You just can’t fucking wait to talk about Shakespeare, can you? You can’t sleep without an NPR podcast playing in the background. You have a cabinet full of United States Vice President Bobbleheads. You’re especially proud of your rare mint condition Spiro Agnew because it actually reminds you of something something progressivism something accountability something Trump sigh. You want to see Donald Trump lose a debate. Badly.

Kamala Harris - There was this one time where you said, “Come on, guys. Not all cops are bad.” And then there was this weird pause and one of your friends said “Well, sure, Dayna, but I’m talking about systems, not individuals.” And then someone said, “Yeah, Dayna.” And then you got this look on your face and you said, “Oh.” And you looked like such an idiot and you really drank too much that night. Stuff like this actually happens to you often. But other than that you’re real chill. You want to see Donald Trump lose a debate so bad that he cries, shits his pants, and then starts a physical fight which he also loses.

John Hickenlooper - You’re a republican who accidentally read a real news.

Corey Booker - You consider yourself the office rebel because when they started charging for coffee you started bringing in starbucks every morning for everyone. Eventually the office stopped offering any coffee at all and now it’s all on you to pay for all the coffee everyday, soldier. You did it. People have been asking you to stop. You did it. Despite all the crazy predicaments you constantly get yourself into, you always have good advice and book recommendations.

Beto O’Rourke - When some starts speaking Spanish to you, you smile and nod your head and actually get this look on your face like you’re actually listening. You let them get through the whole fucking thing, smiling and nodding the whole time and then when they’re done you hold your palms to the sky like a balanced scale to heaven and say “Hey, sorry, compadre! No Hablo Spanish!” And then you smile like you’re such a cool person for knowing “hablo” you fucking phony. You don’t know a good senator when you see one. You want to see Donald Trump win a debate, apparently.

Marianne Williamson - You really hated The Hobbit prequels and you need your message to go to the very top. Your dildo is made of crystal. You also have a crystal made of dildo. Because, when you think about it, isn’t everything made of dildo, as it is of this Earth?

Bill DeBlasio - You’re the rare New Yorker who both hates Amazon and doesn’t smoke weed.

Julian Castro - You’re the first among your friends to discover new good music. You have good taste in it, too. And movies too, where do you hear about this stuff? I cannot overstress your eye for good media content. You should really be a writer. Have you ever thought about that? You’re a C-Span junkie who has been saying “I fucking told you so” for the past week and a half and seriously people get it, calm down. And/or you’re his parents.

*Eric Swallwell - Your children’s hands are permanently disfigured from playing catch with lit torches.

Kirsten Gillibrand - You’ve asked to speak to the manager when we go out to restaurants and stuff a lot since we’ve met and for real I’m starting to think it’s you. You think Reece Witherspoon is the hero in “Election”. At one point in your life you let it be known to an authority figure that you have something to say, and you thought they were being, honestly, like really super unfair at the time. But whatever. If they wanted to be immature, that was their prerogative, and no you were not done speaking, and you do not give neither a care nor a fuck on Earth.

Jay Inslee - Yes, it’s organic.

Tulsi Gabbard - “No kidding?” you said, “I love Hawaii. And yeah, to your point, I definitely don’t love war, if you get what I’m saying...which is, um...yes, that. That is what I’m saying...I mean, yeah.” You gulped down a slug of cold brew, anxious to get out of this conversation with your boss. “Fuck it, yeah, I support Tulsi Gabbard.” You concluded, “Why the fuck not, right?”

Trump - Your motto, “Hey, if you want to make an omelette, you gotta pay off a hooker, encourage a dictator to cheat for you, and torture a few kids.”

*I don’t know how to put this into the context of this bit, I just have to tell this story. In a post-debate interview on msnbc, he once again appealed to giving the reigns to power to a younger generation, and not people like Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, who have been in power for, and this is really what he said, “dozens of decades”. Plural. Like, more than a mere one dozen decades.

#Presidential Election 2020 #Joe Biden #Amy Klobacher #Bernie Sanders #Michael Bennet #Elizabeth Warren #Andrew Yang #Pete Buttigieg #Kamala Harris #John Hickenlooper #Corey Booker #Beto O'Rourke #Marianne Williamson #Bill DeBlasio #Julian Castro #Eric Swallwell #Kirsten Gillibrand #Jay Inslee #Tulsi Gabbard #Donald trump

[fangirlandiknowit101]

For the writer's ask game, All Odd numbers 😁 no need to answer all if too many. Just wanna hear ur ideas on somee 😁imiss your fanficssss

omg idk if i love you or hating for asking so many questions in one goXD Aww i’m still writing, just veeery slowly... and i’ve had a few very rough weeks (mostly bc of work) so i haven’t had much energy or motivation at all - trying to get back into it so i can write the whole weekend!

1.  Do you listen to music when you write?

Sometimes. It depends! Sometimes it helps get into the mood or avoid distraction, but sometimes the music makes me think of other plot ideas which is highly distracting *sweats* Lately, i’ve listened a lot to imagine dragons while writing!

3.  Computer or pen and paper?

computer. i have some notebooks with old stuff written down, barely readable. why did i write plotlines in pink?? can’t read it at all lol

5.  How much writing do you get done on an average day?

haha.. on average it’s like, nothing. but if i actually have time to write that day, it can be anything from 200 words to 4,000. usually i don’t get to more than 4K in one day for some reason (unless i switch fics to write on lol). maybe 1,000 words is a fairly accurate average!

7.  Standalone or series?

usually standalones. i’ve only written one sequel in my life and it’s not even finished (Missing pieces)

9.  Current WIP

The sun within me, Lessons in love, For You My Sun, Sugar Star are the ones waiting for new chapters. i’ve got a couple unpublished/unfinished WIPs in my folder... we’ll see if i manage to finish them at some point but i don’t really dare to describe them in case someone would actually want to read them

11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

hmm tough question. i grew up reading authors like David Eddings, Eoin Colfer, Tamora Pierce, i went down and checked my bookcase and those three are actually the ones still on display haha. of course i read books like harry potter and narnia etc. too. lots of fantasy basically - and lots and lots of horse books, but i don’t think you can tell in my writing lol. Ender’s game by Orson Scott Card is a favorite, as well as the hobbit and The name of the wind by Patrick Rothfuss. when i studied Finnish in university i had to branch out and read books i would never choose myself, and that really influenced me to broaden my perspective so to say. last book i read was probably Wayward son by Rainbow Rowell (i’m a sucker for sad gay vampires apparently). i also read a ton of murder mysteries like agatha christie when i was younger.

plus, all the manga i read - dragon ball and naruto and love hina and yaoi and god knows what

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

oh dear. i usually get an idea that goes sth like “wouldn’t it be hilarious if...” and then it spirals out of control. like, my first long fanfic, Results of a shitty day, was literally me saying “you know what? i want to write a long drama fic like all those other cool authors do” and there was no plan besides at all at first.

i tend to just write a first chapter and then have a general idea of what i want to explore - a certain character growing a certain way, or a certain trope, or just the one scene that won’t go away. For The sun within me, it was literally “hey what if i wrote naruto and sasuke in the road to ninja universe” and for Lessons in love it was “man i really want a fic where Yurio is Viktor’s son and they’re fanboys of Yuuri’s skating”, and me rambling to a friend in the car about it until i was forced to sit down and write it. i definitely make up the plot as i go. every time i decide the plot in advance i end up changing it anyway (yes, this happens even for oneshots sometimes). i love planning though - so much that i constantly re-plan the stories and plan the chapter while writing it too. 

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

badly. i’m a procrastinator. usually i switch between stories, if that doesn’t work, i try to write sth new, usually that doesn’t work and i end up reading fics until i’m convinced i can never write as well as other people can. and then i just have to take a break until my brain goes ping! and i can write again.

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

i think the only habit i have is getting easily distracted. *cough*

19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

i’m constantly writing in my head - daydreaming if you want to call it that. typing is very difficult, but i’m usually motivated by the fact that there’s nothing better than to sit down after a long day and just enjoy a really good fic about your OTP, and since people enjoy my writing i can’t just quit and rob them of this. i can’t just enjoy fandom without paying back when i actually have the possibility to do so. it usually works!! also, when i type, the story takes shape in a way it doesn’t in my head, which is actually really cool so i read my own stuff now and then just to remind me of this. 

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

Sasuke

23.  Favourite author

hmm i don’t have just one. or do they mean fanfic author? well i wouldn’t be able to choose either way!

25.  Favourite part of writing

when i manage to type a scene the way i pictured it in my head. and when i just write without a plan and things start to make sense!

27.  Favourite line/scene

actually, every single scene in The sun within me is my favorite lol

29.  Favourite villain

does Sasuke count? no? i’ll say Baz in the Carry On series

31.  Least favourite part of writing

the first sentence of a fic or chapter. getting started is the hardest!!

33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

i wrote a drabble with naruto and sasuke in the afterlife once. i don’t think i’ve actually killed anyone???

35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

the next chapter for Lessons in love is giving me a lot of trouble currently :(

37.  First sentence or your current WIP

This is the first sentence of chapter 16, Lessons in love: Their last full day in Hasetsu passes in a blur.

And this is the first sentence if a yoi smut fic i’ll post when i finally finish ch 16 for LiL:  The metro is always crowded at this time, and Yuuri hates it.

Don’t tell anyone i’m working on yet another smut fic for yoi.

Aaaand this is the first sentence of a sasnar fic i’m writing on when i’m too tired to actually write anything seriously:  Sasuke was surprised to find that he was not the only one to be summoned to the Hokage’s office.

I know it was an earlier question, but i actually have something like 17 WIPs in my WIP folder that are not posted in any part yet, of which most will probably never see the light of day. 

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

hmm i don’t know

41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

i have much advice. but i don’t think any of it is very original. the most important thing - there’s no such thing as failure when you’re writing fanfic. write what you want and when you want, the only way to get better is to keep writing! i just re-read an old story to see if it was worth editing and copying over onto ao3, and realized i had used the word “pinkette” to describe sakura. we all start somewhere... and if you ever look back on old fics, focus on how much you enjoyed writing the fic, not if it’s good or not!!

43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

if they don’t, it’s generally because they’re right and i’m not. forcing them back into the outline only makes for awkward writing. i always go along with it to see where it goes - sometimes it ends up somewhere much better than planned, sometimes you realize you’ve made mistakes way back in the fic and now you’re stuck with the choice of changing the plot or going back to rewrite. 

45.  How much world building do you do?

i actually hate world building. and describing things like scenery and places and clothes. i’ve had to really force myself to work on it. but i also make sure that i only give the absolute necessary information and then slip in the rest in bits and pieces where it fits. but since i mostly write in already set worlds, it’s usually not that necessary. 

47.   Best way to procrastinate

look at fics and put them in my marked for later and then procrastinate reading them by working on WIPs that are not my published WIPs and then procrastinate those WIPs by finding new fics to read and then maybe re-read my own fics. oh, and scrolling through social media

(i don’t actually have a lot of time to procrastinate bc it’s usually work-take care of horse-shower and dinner-sleep)

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

Phichit. so much fun!!!

Wow, that was a lot of questions and a lot of fun!! Sorry for the super long post you have to scroll by lol

Thank you for asking!!!

[shera-dnd]

Catra and Adora’s Tome of Love

That is both the longest I’ve spent writing a fic and the longest fic I’ve ever written, but here it is: D&D AU’s official Trash Wedding Fic™, because that is exactly what we all needed in preparation for the emotional roller coaster of the next season. 

Very few people would be glad to spend their saturday running errands around a bunch of tents in the middle of the woods, but Glimmer was one of those people and she had good reason for doing so. Two of her best friends were about to get married and she would do everything in her power to make sure this would be the perfect wedding.

She didn’t know whose idea it was to make the entire ceremony D&D themed, but she both loved and hated that person. Loved because she got to rock a cape along with her favorite purple dress and hated because getting the outfits, decorations and renting the damn LARPing space, was a logistical nightmare that she was a part of from the very beginning. Curse her good nature.

Chairs were set, decorations were placed, food was tested - for legitimate reasons, of course - now she just had to check on the brides before they both instantaneously combust. She was halfway to one of the little dressing room-tents when she was stopped by the familiar voice of the GM calling her name.

She turned around to see them covered in a black robe, with a hood that covered their face. She tried to suppress a giggle at that. Well, it made sense if everyone was dressed as their characters then of course they would dress as the mysterious figure orchestrating it all “How do I look?” they asked and was that the wrong question to ask.

“Like you’re ready to stab a hobbit”

“That bad?” They sighed “Go do your thing. I’ll try not to disappear into the lake in shame before I have to officiate all of this”

“Ok then. If you see Bow tell him to go check on Adora” They just nodded and left. Now back to her original mission: Making sure Catra did not explode. She quickly jogged towards Catra’s tent and was greeted by the sounds of an angry Catra and a - mostly - calm Angella.

“Just calm down, Catra” She heard Angella say “The dress looks fine”

“Of course the dress looks fine. It’s my dress and I’m wearing it. That is not the point” Catra shouted back “The point is that this is uncomfortable and dresses are the worst”

“Then just put away the dress and we can find you one of those tuxes you like so much” Angella tried to bargain, but it would fail. Catra was in full aggro mode.

“Fuck you, this is my wedding and I’m gonna look like a goddamn fairy princess if I want to and I fucking want to”

Glimmer took a deep breath to prepare her nerves and finally walked into the tent. She found Angella trying her best to stay calm and collected while dealing with a Catra that was clearly nearing a meltdown “Boss, why don’t you go check on Casta? I can handle it from here”

“Ah yes, I should make sure she doesn’t dehydrate from all the crying” She got up and gave Glimmer a little pat on the shoulder “Good luck” she mouthed to Glimmer as she left. Great, now she was the one dealing with Catra losing her shit.

They both stared at each other in silence for a moment “So….how are you holding up?” Glimmer tried.

“How does it look like I’m holding up?”

Ok, bad start. She had to fix this mess “Catra, it will be fine. You-”

“No it won’t be fine. Have you any idea of in how many ways this could end badly? I do. I have been thinking about it all day” Catra shouted. Oh god there was no way to stop her now “It could start raining, I could fall and ruin my dress, my parents could show up. The list goes on”

Glimmer sighed “It’s gonna stay sunny all week, I’ve known you for five years and never seen you even stumble, and your parents don’t even know you’re getting married - which is weird and you should deal with that, but that is besides the point! - The point is that I’ve seen you and Adora salvage even the most absurd situations and if all that stuff does happen I know you two can handle it”

Glimmer didn’t even realize she had started clenching her fist mid speech, but it was adding the emphasys she needed, she wanted Catra to know how serious she was about her trust on her and Adora. So she was a caught a little off guard when Catra started laughing “Are you seriously pulling an ‘anime power of love’ speech on me?” Ok not the reaction she wanted, but at least she isn’t yelling anymore “Alright, Sparkles, I think I can handle it from here. Go check on Adora for me”

“Don’t worry, I had Bow check on her before coming here” Glimmer stated with certainty, but Catra’s raised eyebrow made her question that decision “Oh god, she is probably the one taking care of him now. Time to go save the bride, I guess” Catra laughed one more time, before turning back to her preparations. This was gonna be a big day and Glimmer would make sure it was perfect.

~~~

Catra may have had a meltdown or two or twelve in the last twenty four hours, but really who doesn’t have some of those before their wedding? This was all just a side effect of how meticulous and dedicated she was in every aspect of her life. She was clearly not just a pile of screaming emotions right now and maybe if she kept repeating all of this to herself she would stop freaking the fuck out. This was basically the most important day of her adult life and she wouldn’t let anyone get in the way of that, including herself.

She looked herself over in the mirror one last time. Even though she hated wearing that damn thing, she had to admit that she looked great in her new dress. Entrapta really outdid herself with this one. Turning a stealth uniform into a delicate wedding dress took some skill and the bouquet she was carrying didn’t look all that bad either, the flowers were chosen as a joke, but Perfuma still managed to make it fit everything else. Yeah, things were looking good, she didn’t have to worry so much about things, she would walk out there and marry the woman she loves.

Things stopped going according to plan the moment she stepped out of the tent. She was supposed to walk down the aisle on her own, but Angella was - for some reason - waiting for her, so she just lend her her arm and smiled like this was all part of the plan “What the fuck are you doing?” Catra whispered.

“Glimmer told me your family wasn’t gonna show up and I wanted to show you some support” Angella answered so quietly Catra could barely hear it. Catra was halfway through mentally listing all the possible insults towards Angella, but that had quieted her down.

“Thank you” Was all she had to say and continued to walk with her emergency mom.

Friends and family - mostly friends really - flanked them on either side. All dressed in RPG parodies of formal clothing, suits covered by capes, armored dresses and more pointless belts than a Final Fantasy character. They were all stood around them in no particular order, they were all great friends to the both of them so choosing a side seemed quite pointless - Adora’s twin brother, Adam, did sit on Catra’s side just to spite his sister - and atop the altar, by the lake, stood something breathtaking.

No, not the GM looking like they were ready to steal Kingdom Hearts, but a shaking, nervous Adora, trying so hard to look regal in her clothes and damn what were those clothes? That white and gold suit was already gorgeous, but of course Adora decided to be as extra as possible and just cover her entire right arm in golden plate armor. Catra could barely believe she was gonna spend the rest of her life with someone that beautiful and that dorky and by the look on Adora’s face she couldn’t believe it either.

After reaching the altar it took everything in her not to start crying immediately, but she managed. She was at least gonna get her vows out before breaking down in tears. “You may all sit down now” The GM had begun speaking “Dearly beloved, you’ve been summoned here today to witness these two nerds join together in holy matrimony” Catra could barely hear their speech, but knew it was probably snarky or silly, she was too busy looking at her beautiful bride in her beautiful suit and praying that this moment wasn’t all just a dream.

“I think you said you wanted to say your vows first” Adora whispered to her. Oh shit, did they get to that part already? Ok she practice this, she could handle it.

“A wise man once told me that ‘excellence is pure habit, we are what we repeatedly do’ I took that message to heart. Everything I did I put my all into it. My hobbies, my work and, most importantly, my relationships. Because being good at something and having a good relationship takes habit, takes repetition, it is something you have to practice everyday and everyday there has been nothing I’ve practiced more and that I’ll continue to practice more than loving you. Then if we really are what I repeatedly do, I promise you that for the rest of my life what I am, most of all, is this love I have for you”

She could hear Bow and Glimmer crying nonstop and could even see tears in Adora’s eyes. She wondered for a moment if this speech would’ve had the same effect if they knew the ‘wise man’ was a boss from a video game.

Adora had to take a few deep breaths to recover her composure and start taking her own vows “Hey, Catra” Adora began, getting a few laughs from the crowd and even from Catra “I’m not a good writer so bear with me for a second” she took another deep breath “Of all the dozens and dozens of campaigns that we played our characters always had one thing in common. We were always lost, no family or friends to help us and guide us through all the hardships in life, but they always had each other. In the end the only family they needed was each other. It was like this in Ravenloft, The Forgotten Realms, Halcyon City, Eberron and now it will be like this here. We’ll be there for each other through every celebration and through every hardship. This I promise to you”

Ok Catra could cry now, she really needed to cry now. Oh she was crying now and there was nothing she could do to stop it. “Are you okay, honey?” Adora asked her and Catra could do very little besides sob, so her answer was a little less coherent and controlled than she wanted “Fuck you! This is my wedding and I get to ugly cry as much as I want”

Adora smiled at her and Catra just wanted to cry even more now. She barely noticed Frosta approaching with their rings. Copper for Adora and Gold for Catra. Each matching the other’s color scheme. They were both shaking as they put the rings in each other’s hands.

The GM cleared their throat “If anyone objects to this union speak now-” She could see Adam getting up in the corner of her vision, please don’t let Adora’s stupid brother make a scene “and face one of the brides in combat” Adam immediately sat down “No one? Very well. Then by the powers vested in me by the internet I hereby declare you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride”

It was a simple and chaste kiss, compared to all the others they had shared, but this one meant so much more. Their first kiss as a real couple “Are you feeling better now?” Adora asked and Catra could only nod “Good, let me handle things from here” She dipped Catra and gave her a much more passionate kiss. She was vaguely aware of the GM covering Frosta’s eyes.

“God, you’re so full of yourself right now” Catra said, laughing.

“I’m full of love” Adora punctuated with another kiss and now Catra had gone from uncontrollable crying to uncontrollable laughter.

“Come on, you dork, we have a whole day ahead of us” She straightened her self as best she could and looked into the small group of close friends and family “Listen up, who wants some Protection From Evil and Good?” she announced while waving her bouquet around and even though most didn’t get the joke, no one wasted time gathering close to the altar for a chance to grab that bouquet.

Catra turned around and tossed it with all her strength. Which was probably not a good decision, because it flew above everyone’s heads and straight towards Mermista. Catra wished she had a camera on her, both to capture the look of shock and horror on Mermista’s face and what she did next. Not even Mermista knew what kind of dumbass reflex took over her that moment, because she simply gave that bouquet the strongest kick of her life and sent it flying straight into the lake.

Everyone stood in stunned silence at what had just transpired. Mermista turning several shades of red as everyone stared at her in awe. “I’ll get it” Sea Hawk announced, taking off his shirt and diving into the lake. That was enough to turn the silence into rolling laughter. The crowd applauding as a very wet Sea Hawk emerged with the mostly ruined bouquet and a flower in his mouth for dramatic effect.

“I think Mermista and Sea Hawk just stole our wedding” Catra said, still in awe at the mess she just witnessed.

“Let’s go steal it back”

~~~

After the ceremony itself was done they had all retreated to a nearby ‘Authentic Old Inn’ that was one of the big selling points of this particular LARPing space. Catra had gone off to help with some last minute problems, while Adora decided this was a great moment to yell at her twin.

“You’re so dead, Adam. I don’t care how funny you thought that was gonna be. Even if the GM didn’t mention the duel I would still let Catra kick your ass”

“Relax, I was just messing with you and also Glimmer pulled me down the moment you looked at me” Adam laughed as he answered “I haven’t seen you in ages. This is just me making up for lost time”

Adora rolled her eyes “You are the worst” She didn’t completely mean it, but she was still gonna give him a hard time. She also had to make up for lost time after all.

“Now care to catch me up on this? Five years ago you were complaining that you would probably have to move just to avoid that ‘annoying bitch’ at the game store and now you’re married to her” God, Adora was regretting inviting him.

“First, only I get to call my wife that. She is a bitch and I love her, and second-” Her train of thought was disrupted by the sound of mic static. She turned around to see Catra awkwardly standing next to Sea Hawk’s DJ stand with a mic on her hand.

“Hey, Adora, I know this isn’t exactly what we had planned and this isn’t exactly what people expect from a first dance, but after all this time practicing it just felt wrong to celebrate all of this without me at least singing you something”

Adora was frozen in place as everyone around her opened up space for her. She couldn’t believe Catra was doing that, but she had no objections to any of it. Catra gave Sea Hawk a thumbs up and closed her eyes.

You make me breakfast in bed

When I'm mixed up in my head

You wake me with a kiss

I could get used to this

For a moment there was only Catra in her world, as she slowly walked towards her.

You think I look the best

When my hair is a mess

I can't believe you exist

I could get used to this

She took Catra’s hand in hers and pulled her close as she put down her microphone. “Oh you think just because you’re wearing a suit this time you’re gonna lead?” Of course Adora didn’t think that, they had practiced the whole dance with Catra taking the lead, but Adora didn’t mind letting Catra get her ego boost.

The song was fast and intense, there was plenty of spinning and dipping and lifting and by the end of it they would both be out of breath. In a really stupid way it kinda mimicked their relationship. Well, that was Catra’s excuse, but they both knew she really just liked the song.

When the song finally slowed down they were holding each other very close. The plating on her right arm was getting uncomfortable and she had really started sweating in that suit, but she didn’t care. Right now all she cared for was the woman in her arms and the feeling of their hearts beating so close together. Catra would absolutely hit her with The Pillow if she said any of that out loud...she should probably do that later tonight.

They parted just enough to look in each other’s eyes, just enough to talk to one another “Wanna skip all that other shit and go get something to eat? I’m fucking starving” Catra sure knew how to make a woman feel special.

“Thought you’d never ask. No one told me this would take so much time” They both laughed at the silliness of it all “Just hold on a second, I need to grab something” She was already eyeing that something and Catra was quick to pick up what that was.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to do that” Catra sighed, but Adora was already doing that. She grabbed the replica Sword of Protection off of the wall and started making her way to their wedding cake. Catra rolled her eyes “Let me help you with that. I don’t want you cutting your fingers off before our wedding night”

They huddled up close around the cake so they could both hold the sword. The cake was small and simple compared to the crazy stuff they usually saw on tv, but it was special. Sitting atop of it were the two miniatures Bow made for them for the Princesses of Power campaign. A mini She-ra and a mini Catra, holding hands - or the closest they could get without damaging the miniatures - Adora was trying her best not to accidentally cut into the miniatures, the table or herself, she really had to thank Catra for the help later.

Carefully they cut a small slice from the cake. Catra put it aside and grabbed the sword to cut Adora her own slice, but Adora stopped her. She started cleaning the frosting from the blade, just to wipe her hand clean on Catra’s nose, cheeks and lips. She looked shocked for a second, but Adora was quick to fix it, by kissing her several times until she had cleaned alway all the frosting.

Catra giggled as she hurled several colorful insults towards Adora. She didn’t mean a single one of them and Adora knew. “Alright, dumbass, I’m clean” she giggled a little more “now let me have a taste of it” then she gave Adora a long and deep kiss “Hmmm, strawberries”

Like that the celebrations went on. They would dance, kiss and be the most beautiful couple in one moment and then start poking fun at each other in the next. It was a nice and comfortable rhythm, the kind of stuff that came naturally with years of intimacy and caring for one another and though they both knew their hardships were far from over, they knew they could face it all as long as they were together.

#catradora #dnd!au #the wedding fic #really stupidly long

[scarofthewind]

The Hobbit Preference #1

A/N: Howdy everyone! You guys should send in requests while I can write! College starts back up for me in a few days, meaning less writing time. Hope you enjoy! If you would like any characters added on to the Hobbit list then let me know!

Prompt: How they meet you. 

Bilbo Baggins: You were giving out homemade bread to the elderly hobbits, making your way through the town and venturing farther out when you were done. You came across a hobbit sitting on a bench outside, smoking his pipe. 

“Excuse me?” You asked, catching his eyes. For a moment, you both just stared at each other, not sure what to make of the other. “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t mean to be rude.” You said bashfully, his smile making you blush. 

“It’s quite all right.” He said, sticking his hand out for you to shake. “Bilbo Baggins. I don’t believe I’ve ever met you before.” He would’ve remembered a beautiful face such as yours.

You shook your head, taking his warm hand and shaking it. “(Y/N), I live on the other side of the shire, that’s why. I don’t get out much.”

“I see. Well, what have you got there?” Bilbo asked, pointing to the bag you carried on your shoulder. 

“Homemade bread. Would you like some? I have to give it all away otherwise I’ll be stick with it.” You smiled, opening the bag and reaching in to grave a few loafs. 

“I would love to take some off your hands.” He nodded, holding his pipe between his teeth and accepting the loafs you gave him. “Thank you, (Y/N).” 

You smiled warmly at him, “You have a wonderful day Bilbo Baggins, and don’t eat all of it at once.” You said before continuing your walk around. Maybe going to the other side of the shire would be a good thing to do if it meant you could see that hobbit again. 

Kili: “Are you kidding me?!” You shouted, hanging in the net about ten feet from the ground. You reached for your knife in your dress pocket and started cutting at the ropes but a loud crack startled you and your knife fell to the forest floor. 

In the distance you saw a group of men on ponies, riding calmly through the woods. You weren’t the type to ask for help, but if the trolls who set this trap were coming back tonight, you’d be dead before dawn. “Hey!” You shouted, moving around and catching a brunette’s attention. You watched as he said something to his leader and they all turned to look at you. 

“Thank goodness someone finally came through, I thought I was going to be stuck here.” You said loud enough for them to hear. As they rounded about and came to a stop in front of you, a taller, older man stood forward. You knew that pointy hat and staff anywhere. “Gandalf? Is that you?” You asked, moving around to get a better look at him. 

“(Y/N)? What on earth are you doing here?” He asked, letting the dwarfs know you were a good person. 

“Fili, Kili- cut her down.” The leader said and you watched as two dwarfs separated from the group, one to the tree where the hanging knot was tied and one underneath you to catch. 

“Are you ready, Miss?” The one by the tree said, his hair reminding you of a lion. You nodded and within a few seconds, you were falling into the brunette’s arms. He carefully set you down and you dusted the leaves and rope off, grabbing your knife and bag. 

“Thank you.” You said to the two, the brunette stared at you longer and the blonde seemed to notice, bumping his arm and smirking when he nodded; a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“Now, what kind of adventure are you playing out?” You asked, turning to Gandalf.

Thorin Oakenshield: It was mission impossible, but here you were, trying to steal some food from the pile of dwarfs that were sound asleep. You tiptoed around them, not noticing the pair of eyes on you the whole time. The cloak you had on was hiding your face so you understood why a sword was pointed at your neck the moment you stepped halfway through the circle. 

“Now what would a thief want with our things?” A deep voice asked, causing the others to wake up. Your heart rate quickened and you sighed, reaching into your cloak and pulling out a sword of your own, immediately turning and swinging at the man. 

“You know how to fight too? I guess thieves aren't completely worthless.” He laughed, making his group chime in as they watched you fight their leader.

You stayed quiet, talking only made you lose your focus. You swung upwards, you sword barely missing the man’s throat. For a moment, he stumbled back, staring in disbelief as you kept your head low. “How dare you!” He shouted, charging at you but you swiftly moved out of the way, thrusting your sword against his armor. 

You turned and ran towards the nearest tree, kicking off of it and turning around, knocking the sword from the man’s hands and landing on top of him with a thud. His eyes were wide with shock as every dwarfs was. “A woman?” He asked and you blushed, seeing how handsome the man actually was.

“That’s quite enough, Queen (Y/N).” Gandalf said, moving next to you. Standing, you offered the man a hand and he took it, getting up as well. 

“Queen (Y/N)? I’ve never heard of her-” A dwarf started, but Gandalf stopped him. 

“A Queen of Thieves stays hidden. So why, I wonder, are you not?” The wizard asked, while you sheathed your sword. 

“My kingdom was torn apart by goblins. Only me and a few others managed to make it out. I saw the fire and thought I could sneak some food back to my people.” You said. 

“King Thorin, what shall we do with her?” A white haired dwarf asked. Thorin was busy staring at your beauty to barely hear what you’d said. 

Instantly, you bowed, not knowing you were in the presence of a king. “My deepest apologies.” You said. 

“There’s no need for that.” Thorin said, shaking his head and picking his sword off the ground. “Bring your people here. The bigger the group, the better chance we have at surviving.” 

Thranduil: “They say that she’s an incredible witch, my king.” Thranduil rolled his eyes at the words of the elves who were curious over the Witch who would help the kingdom. 

“I will believe it when I see it for myself.” He said bitterly, watching as the guards moved out of the way for an all black horse to come across the way. As soon as you stopped your horse and got off, you pushed back your hood and smiled at the king. 

“You must be King Thranduil. My name is (Y/N). It’s so nice to meet you.” You bowed and for a moment you thought that elves didn’t blush as red as the king just did. 

“Welcome. I’m sure you’ll find it nice here.” He cleared his throat and turned for you two to go inside. 

“It’s very beautiful. Nothing like where I came from.” You said solemnly, but put of a fake smile to keep the king pleased. If there was one thing you could look forward too at this job, it’s working for a handsome king with attitude issues. 

#the hobbit #Bilbo x reader #bilbo baggins #kili #thorin x reader #thranduil x reader #thorin oakenshield #🏵.original work

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.4

Last time on Beverly Hills 90210!

Hibiki begins to understand the true nature of the Sam Reimi Spiderman trilogy as she lives the life of a superhero by night and a normal student by day in the most miserable way possible. Constant cockblocking from the duties she explicitly chose to do distance her from her significant other Miku, as it drives wedges into their friendlationship. As Hibiki breaks off a plan prepped weeks in advance to see rocks fall from the sky, she takes out her frustration on the local Kamen Rider villian rejects before coming up to see Tsubasa, only to be greeted by a new face...

Let us continue!

As the situation tenses between the three gi- hey! Hey, wait a minute! This is a flashback! That’s no fair. You’re just going to throw this to us while we’re trying to do this stuff? Get it together, show.

The show hauls our asses to a flashback, because God knows we needed one right now. It’s not just any flashback, though. It’s a flashback of our favorite redhead, Kanade!

In a straightjacket.

While everyone is staring.

“i dont usually do this but you’ve got a bad case of catch-these-handsitis”

“oh god, she’s so wild, and angry... i... why am i hoping she’s single...?”

“aye. this is the fate of all rabiosexuals out there.”

Kanade is tied down because she’s the sole survivor of a Noise attack, and more importantly, she really, really wants to fight the Noise. What she doesn’t know is that she is potentially a new candidate for a Symphogear relic.

“oh... we’d pair so well... our colors are diametrically opposed...”

“GIMMIE A FUCKING GUN AND A TEN PIECE CHICKEN MCNUGGET MEAL YOU GUY FIERI LOOKING ASSHOLE”

Genjuro, who suffers from Compulsive Child Adopting Syndrome (CCAS), immediately comes to the conclusion to adopt this tiny gremlin. It helps that her parents are, well, dead.

Fatherly instincts vibrating intensely.

Genjuro talks to this small child, who is currently 99% anger and 1% chicken fluff, scanning their conviction towards working to the goal of fighting the Noise.

In retrospect, his methods are a bit weird. Feeding into the extreme edginess of a 14 year old scorned isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. Unfortunately, as we established before, the only thing that can fight Noise are Symphogear, and the only reason he’s not in the front lines is because he can’t wield one.

Kanade naturally obliges this deal, her braincells having long since perished alongside her parents. Then Perish indeed, Kanade.

“buddy im being trained as a samurai in modern times and i still could not fathom going as hard as you”

The pact is sealed. The child is adopted. Genjuro’s adoption addiction relapses, and he’s going to have quite a long talk at AA (Adopters Anonymous).

The thing about Genjuro that makes him an interesting character is that he actually really, really, really hates the idea of having to pit children in fighting these horrible threats. Unlike a lot of male characters who have a strong sense of manliness but a poorly written way of expressing it, Genjuro manages to be a compassionate person in the face of all this terribleness. He’s the only person to think about throwing parties for these girls, and trying to give them any sort of sense of happiness and normalcy to their lives, now changed forever by machinations he has been put in charge of. He’s the Anti-Gendo. He doesn’t tell Shinji to get in the robot. He makes sure Shinji is well enough to be in the robot, and would never do so otherwise, knowing the mental toll.

That’s why ultimately, he is The Dad.

So, with that in mind, they prep Kanade to recieve the relic assigned to her. One of the major elements of using relics is compatibility. Kanade is not naturally compatible to Gungnir; they have to slowly ease her into it.

“mumble mumble cant wait to kick their asses mumble mumble”

This is a process that takes years. The show doesn’t do well in showing this, but it takes many, many years for her to be compatible after endless medical examinations and controlled situations.

The experiments, naturally, hurt like a bitch to boot.

“genjuro she’ll be okay, right?”

“flip a coin on it, tsubasa”

“oh shit yall see this news? pornhubs gonna buy tumblr! damn, i can make an all in one profile now.”

When you’re forced to watch your newly adopted daughter torture herself to be compatible with an ancient, musty cursed relic.

After all that, Kanade still isn’t compatible. Of course, nothing is simple with Kanade. You may ask yourself, “Why did Genjuro have to tie up Kanade in a straitjacket? That seems pretty abusive.”

Simply put, it’s because Kanade has never fucked around in any second of her life, having taken off all the devices on her, taken a direct syringe of the stuff she’s trying to synchronize with, and directly inject it into her, herself.

Fear.

“i am so SICK, and TIRED, of all this namby pamby wimpy ass standard shit. YALL MOTHERFUCKERS THINK I WONT GO FULL THROTTLE?! MY LIFE IS FULL THROTTLE. I! AM! GONNA! GET! SHIT! DONE! TONIGHT! BOYYYYS!”

Tsubasa, likely already going through puberty by this point, simultaneously understands both the concepts of fear and arousal witnessing this near suicidal display of absolute madness immediately.

Holy shit, Kanade.

You know shit’s bad when even Ryoko is afraid.

Turns out, however, that Kanade did the right move in becoming compatible with Gungnir, at a very physically demanding price.

Really, physically demanding.

“shouldnt have had that massive spaghetti carbonara before doing all this shit but fuck i really liked that fuckin’ spaghetti slorp slorp go the sauce ooooooooh god this is bad”

“HAHA IM FINE- IM FINE EVERYONE- THIS- THIS IS JUST THE SPAGHETTI- I HAD BEFORE THE- BEFORE THE PROCEDURE IT’S NOT- IT’S NOT BLOOD I SWEAR- OH I AM FEELING LIGHTHEADED- DON’T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEADS IM GOOD! OH- OH FUCK-”

The scientists, who have been easily staring at this entire situation for more than 5 minutes or more, have not stepped in to do a single damn thing, as if overpowering a 14 year old to stop her from injecting a dangerous thing that could directly kill her is completely out of their paygrade. Genjuro wakes them the fuck up and likely briefly contemplates firing some of these morons.

“so this is what’s called... getting lost in the sauce...”

The scientists scramble to keep Kanade from vomiting more marinara sauce but Kanade exerts but a mere fraction of her now developing Symphogear abilities, knocking them all out with ease.

“this is some shit right here, damn”

Kanade pulls some Independence Day theatrics on everyone, as a 14 year old on the verge of death typically would if given the opportunity. Death may be certain but you at least get to go out in style. Will Smith would be proud.

The half-life of Tsubasa’s fearousal reached completion as it has mostly decayed into fear at this point.

However, the relic pendant begins glowing. This is likely the one thing that keeps Kanade from dying. An interesting comparison given Hibiki’s own survival and gear manifestation.

Kanade achieves super saiyan.

“THEY ALL SAID I WAS LOST IN THE SAUCE... AND THEY ALL THOUGHT THE SAUCE WAS LOST IN ME. BUT NOW... I AM THE SAUCE!”

Tsubasa’s fear directly transmutes itself back into arousal per the first law of alchemy. Something to note is that Tsubasa was naturally receptive to her own gear; she didn’t need to go through the medical process Kanade went through. It’s because of this that Kanade earns Tsubasa’s admiration for life, even long after she dies.

“THE SAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUCCCEEEEEEEEEE”

And so, the unambiguously gay duo known as Zwei Wing formed. Singers by day...

Noise slayers by night.

Saving the country, singing in the country, bonding together... in the country. Truly, there is no more iconic duo than these two.

“yall sing pretty”

“anyway bye”

Kanade’s initial motivation for getting Gungnir was to kill the Noise indiscriminately with no hesitation. It slowly dawns on her, though, that helping people... is good?

“the sauce lost me. i got lost in the sauce. i became the sauce. but... why don’t i... share, the sauce? because... people like sauce... and i like sauce... and we can bond together... liking sauce!”

Kanade and Tsubasa have a Captain America moment running together as Kanade muses about how singing for other people feels way better than just pure murder funtimes.

“hey, uh... tsubasa... it just hit me. i like sauce. and... you, you like sauce. do... do you want to share sauce together?”

“kanade as your girlfriend ive literally heard you talk about sauce metaphors for the last several years and if you dont think i wont slurp your sauce down without hesitation you’ve got another thing coming”

“hell yeah! ive still got some of my original leftover marinara to share!”

No heterosexual explanation whatsoever.

Not a damn one.

Oh yeah...! Because by shedding tears, the reality you face is...

Nehushtan? Weird end of a sentence, but okay.

We’re thrust back into the present time, present day, as we’re back in our three way throwdown.

Genjuro is an extra large McFuckingPissed with Large Fries and a Shake, supersized.

“you want some sauce with that? lmao, sorry, too soon”

As the werewolves come out in full force, the tension strengthens while a battle brews nearby...

“yall think you’re getting your hands on this goddamn armor without realizing im officiating this here gay pride parade. and guess what? you’re cancelled.”

“didn’t know clowns were part of the acronym, let alone capable of managing it. either way, you’ve gotta be at least this tall to use the armor.” 

“so why not make like a hobbit, drop the armor, and burrow back to whatever hidey hole you came from, bimbo baggins!”

“guess you didnt read the books, moron. last i checked, bilbo doesn’t lose his traveling partners.”

“that low blow only comes at the cost of outing yourself as a fucking nerd.”

“im not ashambed. im gonna blow your mind with some math: my foot, plus your face, subtracting the teeth from your mouth, equals an ass kicking.”

“NOTHING IN THAT FORMULA INVOLVES ANY ASS WHATSOEV-”

Hibiki gets in the way immediately, citing the ethical ramifications of fighting humans as opposed to talking to them, conveniently forgetting this was the same person ready to body her merely an episode or two ago.

“hey first of all please don’t say bimbo thats really degrading, and second of all clowns aren’t actually in the acronym but im sure there are some gay clowns out there so please dont talk like that and thirdly im sorta short and that hurt my feelings and fourthly killing is fucking bad, tsubasa, let us not commit human on human murder”

both of them, in unison, i shit you not:

“yo, you like murder? shit. i like murder too!”

“like oh my god! murder is my favorite hobby. i take it back, you’re chill. still gotta die, though.”

Hibiki is casually tossed aside from this fight, given her very ideas are anti-thetical to fighting as a whole.

A real sick battle ensues.

Something to note is that our spunky opponent has another relic at her disposal which summons Noise. This relic is called Solomon’s cane. You’ll learn more about it later.

Not a pretty sight.

Tsubasa is losing. Not only is she losing, but the enemy cool kid reveals a very notable detail of her plan: She was distracted Tsubasa on purpose. The real plan...

Was to kidnap Hibiki.

In an ironic twist, Tsubasa’s inability to work with her teammate not only put her teammate in danger, but explicitly allowed her opponent to fulfill her mission of trying to capture her.

“i changed my mind kick her ass please oh god”

Hibiki still has not learned her lesson.

Tsubasa gets her ass kicked. Her opponent pulls every punch in the book, with some lowdown dirty fighting.

Unfortunately, Tsubasa, having learned from the Kanade Amou Private School Of No Brain Cell Combat, she pulls the last ace from her sleeve.

“lmao bitch whatre you gonna do, sing?”

“i didnt design my hair like a fucking 8th note for nothing, you cabbage patch kid”

“then let’s hear it, motherfucker.”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime #comedy