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#hes just seeing him and is like :l im gay
lazycranberrydoodles · 7 months
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COME ON GUYS DON'T LET DIANXIA DOWN
#images i drew on my phone approximately 90 seconds before class started#tma vs tgcf is pitting two bad bitches against each other but#from the other guys propaganda he is apparently a beloved side character#which i totally understand.#BUT HUA CHENG IS THE DEUTERANTAGONIST WHO LOVED XIE LIAN SO MUCH IT UNDOOMED HIM FROM THE NARRATIVE#HE DIDNT CLAW HIS WAY OUT OF TONGLU TO BE BEATEN LIKE THIS#also tma has gay people that dont undoom each other from the narrative. L + ratio (/j/j/j/j we all love tragedies here)#hua cheng will never rest in peace and he doesn't want to because he has a smokin boyfriend#they are both angry goths but has gerry died THREE TIMES????? no. just once. lame.#gerry got his skin bound into a necromancy book that was eventually burned but hua cheng ripped out his eye to craft a sickass scimitar !!!#hua cheng haunts the narrative before he dies in a hundred tiny ways and then HEAVILY after he dies a second time#he's an awesome city owner and has violent beef with HEAVEN. and he carves statues and paints and builds temples#and is also a self conscious loser <3#his gay awakening was intensely traumatic and religious for everybody involved. and he's had the same life mission since he was 10#he is actively fighting ghost discrimination and getting dangerous magical items off of the normal human market#also he is always bedecked in elaborate silver and chains and eyeliner and ALWAYS in blood red clothes#HE CAN MAKE IT RAIN BLOOD!!???!?!? ALSO#he stick and poked his god's name on himself but his handwriting is so bad it's unrecognizable and the signs he puts up have evil auras#this has ceased to be propaganda. now im just gushing. only tgcf fans will see this anyway. whatever youre getting blorbo rant#tgcf#art#poll#hua cheng#lmao#my art#tian guan ci fu#hualian#xie lian#hob#heaven official's blessing
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thepepsislvt · 2 months
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I’m finally home from a trip.. what if hear me out.. nsfw alphabet for my favorite bgs either Kid, Killer, or of course Barto
-Tulipp 🌷🌷🌷
(acc still doesn’t work)
I DID IT AND I STARTED IT BEFORE U EVEN ASKED BECAUSE YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT KID AND KILLER RELIGIOUSLY
also evryone istg im alive ive just been violently sick WAAAAHHH
anw here you go braincell sharer Kid and Killer nsfw alphabet
@tulipp-again
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A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Kid tries his damn hardest to at least clean you up but usually hes conked out within 3 minutes
Killer on the other hand is a trooper. He will run you a bath, get you water, a snack, anything you could ever think of he does. Hes so sweet about everything
B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I think we all agree that Kid is an ass man. he loves to grope it, bite it and smack it
Kid likes his arms and hands with how strong they arms. He loves how he can easily bend you over anything and fuck you from behind
Killer likes your collar bones with how easy he can bite them and leave a mark
On him Killer also likes his arms with how easy he can carry you around if needed
C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)
Kid cums A LOT okay? its thick and fills you up so much. He loves to cum on your face the most
Killer’s is also thick but he doesnt shoot as much as Kid. He especially loves to cum all over your stomach
D: Dirty Secret
Kid really doesnt have any secrets, if he wants something hes going to announce it
Killer really wants you to top him. He sees how snappy and mean you get with Kid when you are bickering and he wants you to do that to him. he just doesnt know how to ask
E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Kid slept around a lot when he was younger while trying to deny he was gay for Killer but he eventually got over his ego and just went for it. When you joined the relationship you often called Kid a slut for being so skilled
Killer didn’t have any experience outside of you and Kid but he sure knows how to make you feel good
F: Favorite Position
ANYTHING WITH YOUR ASS POINTED TOWARDS KID! Kid really likes your ass and never hesitates to let you know how much he loves it
Killer loves to hold you close so he usually has you in his lap with your back against his chest
G: Goofy (Are they more serious at the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)
They both agree that Sex is serious and shouldn’t be taken as a joke
H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Kid either doesnt know what grooming is or he really doesnt care. hes untrimmed and yes the carpet does indeed match the drapes
Killer really doesnt care either but he does trim a little bit. he will do more if you really want him to
I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Kid tries but just know degrading is his love language. He does kiss you a lot but its usually rough and sloppy
Killer is way more romantic than Kid in everyway. He constantly tells you how good youre doing and checking up on you. he whispers a lot of praise and ‘i love you’s at least 90% of the time
J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Kid is a big man with a big sex drive. so much so he has to rub one out a lot if youre “to busy” or “not feeling it” (even though he has literally drug you away from your work several times before
Killer isnt much into having to Jack off unless hes really desperate but most of the time he just holds out
K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks)
Kid loves spanking you. hes an ass man, you got a nice ass its just common sense according to him.
Killer loves hair pulling. Theres just something about the extra pain that is slowly soothed when you rub his scalp that just adds the cherry on top for him.
L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Kid will do it anywhere he doesnt care he doesnt have any shame but you do so you convince him to do it in at least a semi public location which isnt much better but youll take it.
Killer likes it anywhere in private since he is more of a private person himself
M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Kid is turned on by literally anything you do. all that anger quickly gets turned to horny when you or Killer walk into the picture
Killer gets turned on most when you kiss his neck it ear
N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
they both wouldnt do anything that would seriously hurt you other than that theyre pretty open to trying whatever
O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Kid Prefers to receive hes a little whore who only thinks abt himself
Killer doesnt mind giving or receiving as long as youre happy
P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)
Kid is Fast and ROUGH and its not hard to believe at all
Killer also likes to be fast and rough but still takes it easy on you
Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Kid will take it if thats all he can get but prefers to take his time fucking you brain dead
Killer isnt fond of them but if you need it then he’ll do it for you
R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Kid is all about risks because he runs on that type of adrenaline
Killer also isnt too opposed but likes to play it safer
S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Kid can last up to 5 maximum before telling you to fuck off and then falling asleep
Killer can go as many as you want, he’ll stir up as much energy as needed to make you happy
T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
i wouldnt think so but if yall do have any toys its made from Kid himself
U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)
Kid is a GOD at teasing, he loves to be in control and to tease you until are crying for him
Killer also loves to tease even more so than Kid, you would never expect
V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Kid is loud, he doesnt shut up, he groans and growls, mf laughs when he degrades you shut shut up man
Killer not loud he just lets out a few grunts and small moans
W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)
Killer is the only one who has ever topped Kid
X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)
Kid is rlly thick and girthy. like oh my god you gonna need a few minutes to stretch out around him
Killer isnt as thick but he is long omg
Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Kid is up ready to go at any given moment all that pent up anger gotta go somewhere
Killer isnt as hyper sexual as Kid but he still enjoys it at least 3-4 times a week
Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Immediately after for Kid, like bro will nut and then you hear his loud ass snoring
Killer doesnt fall asleep as fast as Kid mainly cause he needs to calm down first and catch his breath. he also loves to clean everyone up so yall not sleeping all dirty
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eestiebestie · 2 months
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AMERICUH! IV ★ LS2
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PAIRING: logan sargeant x male! reader
SUMMARY: y/n l/n, a dane, likes making fun of logan sargeant, a very obvious american
GENRE: social media au
FACECLAIM: frederik vesti
WARNING: use of f-slur, slight homophobia?
PART I » PART. II » PART III
MASTERLIST
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VIKING 💀💪
mate
oscar
oscah
OSSIE 🐨
jesus
what?
VIKING 💀💪
i need your advice
OSSIE 🐨
go ahead
VIKING 💀💪
i have no idea if logan likes me
or just see me as a friend
he gives so many mixed signals 😭😫
OSSIE 🐨
have you asked him?
VIKING 💀💪
what?!
no!
i can’t do that
OSSIE 🐨
why?
VIKING 💀💪
what if he rejects me?
OSSIE 🐨
you won’t know unless you make a move 🤷
VIKING 💀💪
you want me to like send this
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OSSIE 🐨
yeah something like that
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mercedesamgf1
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liked by yourusername and 257.636 other
mercedesamgf1 first win for our favourite dane @/yourusername! future world champion in the making (ps bossman is very proud)
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yourusername couldn’t have done it without the team!
username im crying the last pic 😭
username they’re so adorable 😫
username redbull must be shaking with fear right now
username i can feel this year is going to be mercedes domination
username bring back lewis
username it felt weird hearinv the danish national anthem and not the dutch 😭
username frrrr
username i don’t understand how he has already won a race, he’s the most reckless driver on the grid.
username no like this isn’t talked about. like he’s going to cause at least 10 crashes
username stfu
username rookie of the year
username rookie of the century
username fag
username wtf
username get a life
username are you gay? if not maybe you shouldn’t use that word, people might think you are
username okay now make a gp in denmark
yourusername
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liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, georgerussell63 and 43.746 other
yourusername i wanted to use this as blackmail but they all said i wouldn’t post it 🤷 proved them wrong
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logansargeant it was a beautiful fish
yourusername was?!
logansargeant yeah before i ate it
yourusername *gasp* you monster!
oscarpiastri where do you even get these from?
yourusername dark web
georgerussell63 you did me dirty
yourusername sorry (not)
username george is a walking meme
username y/n is such a menace 😭
mercedesamgf1 george has never looked better
yourusername even admin agrees @/georgerussell63
username i want a best friend like y/n but at the same time i don’t
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tag list: @christianpulisic10 @lovecarsgoingvroom
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hp-hcs · 5 months
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yanxidarlings here~ literally screamed when i saw you followed me because your writings were the direct inspiration for my latest post 💖 but im curious to see your take on yandere! poly! mattheo and theodore with m! reader or just more poly headcanons because i am never. going. to. get. enough. of. them
OH MY FUCKING GOD UR KIDDING I WAS THE ANON WHO REQUESTED UR LATEST POST
IM FEELING STARSTRUCK RN 🙇‍♂️👑
requests open, please dear god
Yk, reader is (lovingly) so fucking oblivious
Like, his friends will be like “hey you’re getting pretty close with like, the two most obsessive and violent guys at this school aha”
And reader will be like “lol they’re so silly goofy aren’t they 😌”
Inspired purely by your “you know people think we're gay and dating, right?” “aren't we?” I present:
“you know people think we’re gay and dating, right?” “aren’t we?” — yandere! mattheo riddle x oblivious! male! reader x yandere! theodore nott
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completely unedited cause i gotta sprint to my lecture broski
TWs: possessive/obsessive behavior, brief mentions of violence, one instance of slut-shaming (?)
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Honestly, you thought nothing of it when you were informed that due to “space issues” you were being moved to room with The Theos™. You just shrugged and followed the very anxious house-elf who had informed you of the switch to your new room.
Your trunk and belongings were there already, waiting to be set up and organized. Mattheo and Theo were hovering in the doorway looking a bit too pleased with the situation for comfort.
You just quietly said “hi” and moved past them, dumping your school bag on your new bed and flopping down next to it.
Theo and Mattheo practically trip over themselves rushing to “befriend” you. (Their words, not mine)
You all share a dorm, so it wasn’t long before they realized the other was obsessed with you.
Then, it’s all out war.
I’m talking mysterious falls down the moving stairs, getting locked out of the dorm all night, randomly being chased by bludgers—even when they aren’t playing.
Random fistfights between them whenever they see each other in the halls.
That all goes out the window, though, when reader is asked out.
Reader comes back to his dorm after a long day and finds The Theos sitting side-by-side on the edge of the his bed.
“When were you going to tell us that you became the class whore?” Mattheo drawled, his lips thinning in disapproval and disgust.
“W-what?” You ask, completely taken aback.
“We heard that little Y/N L/N’s got himself a date to the Yule Ball,” Theodore adds. “Who is it? That Parkinson girl? The Diggory boy?”
“Wh- no. I said no anyways.”
The boys scrutinize you, exuding an air of judgement.
Finally, Theodore pipes up. “Good boy.”
😳
“Aww, what’s this? Look, Riddle. Y/N’s blushing,” Theodore teases.
They make a quick mental note of that 📝
Anyways, they eventually find out who asked you out. They call a ceasefire on their own personal war, and team up to beat the shit out of the poor guy/girl.
After that, babycakes, if they didn’t already know before, everyone at Hogwarts now knows that you are TAKEN. (Even though you don’t.)
They tolerate each other, but just barely. They can really only stand each other when you three all curl up in one of your beds or on the common room couch.
Then, they’re the clingiest mfs you’ve ever met.
They have absolutely no sense of a personal space bubble. One of them is always touching you in some way, whether it be holding your hand, resting a hand on your hip or shoulder, putting their hand on your lower back…
Theodore charmed your chair in History of Magic to be impossible to move, so you can’t scoot away from him.
If you’re relaxing on the couch in the common room, Mattheo will move to sit right next to you (like r i g h t next to you) and put your legs in his lap. He tried once before to get you to just sit in his lap, but you told him no (like an idiot) and avoided him for the rest of the day. That is, until you woke up to him in your bed next to you.
Homeboy was not happy about that.
He is manipulative as fuck and will gaslight you to no end. He uses his shitty childhood and bad father to get you to pity him.
(It works.)
It’s obviously disconcerting for you when your boyos go from ‘actively out for each other’s blood’ to ‘eh, you’re fine, i guess’
You guys were watching a movie in your dorm one night, all piled onto your bed, and they accidentally fell asleep there. They woke to you already gone for breakfast and them with their arms around each other.
“If you ever bring this up again, I’ll kill you.”
“Oh, believe me, they’d never find your body.”
They become way more open about their attraction to you, everything from kissing your cheek, to making you wear their clothes (esp their jerseys with their last name on them), to asking you your ring size.
I completely agree with your headcanon of Mattheo neck kisses 😩🤌
Eventually though, because you are an oblivious gay disaster, you’re just chilling on the couch and you’re like “Hey guys, you know everyone thinks we’re gay right? And like, all dating each other?”
“What, like we aren’t?”
y/n: 😳🤨☺️🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨
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bakegreenlish · 5 months
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what i think you favorite homestuck (beta) troll says about you: 2023 edition
because i think we are all collectively past the awful 1 dimensional fanon perceptions of all the characters
aradia: you are/enjoy silly girlfreaks thwt blossomed from being an extremely sad 13 yr old. you have since realized you are a lesbian or a transmasc (or both!)
tavros: (my personal favorite) i’m hoping you are free of the softboy tavros shackles of the olden days, and if so i think you enjoy a funky little underdog, and probably have a small circle of friends irl. i feel like you may have considered being in a band/being a dj at one point or atleast fantasized about it. i fw u ☝️
sollux: u think the mustard bloods are the best class and probably have a mustard blood troll oc, doubt you are actually a gemini though. besides that i’m guessing you are probably into an awful type of man and you think it’s in a cute way but it’s really just obnoxious, although im sure you’d take that as a compliment (it’s not) you probably enjoy a lot of mediocre white boys but if you are of the 2% of sollux fans who see him as more than that i also fw u. you might also just be a comp sci major. they r like that.
karkat: at this point if you are still on the karkat train i have faith you really do see this character for what he is and without fanon goggles, and i can respect that. there are a lot of complex things about this character that make him interesting, and there’s nothing wrong with sticking to the classics sometimes. he touches that little chubby 13 yr old you once were that had a lot of big feelings about everything, and while you’ve grown they will always be inside
nepeta: you have a good mix of being online and touching grass on the regular. I bet you love all things gross and might also be transmasc and silly.
kanaya: you also are/love girlfreaks but something about this one…i think you’re probably tired of everything being catered to mlm ships or just gay men in general, and she is like the perfect little lesbian maniac hannibal lector who shares your love for all things eclectic and strange. I think you probably love it sit in the back of your classes, correct people, and are chronically misunderstood. I bet you even enjoy to hear how wrong people are about you. Perhaps you egg it on a little
Terezi: I think you embrace being a girlfreak as well, and probably would considering arguing with people a good time. You probably find it easy to get along with anyone but always have yourself one ride or die/bestie at a time. A lesbian situationship might have seriously altered your brain chemistry and the course of your life
Vriska: You also love to argue, but have no shame in answering someone with a reaction image or something along the lines of “L + Ratio + Your mom is gay” when you are bored or wrong, and put every drama filled text conversation on your story. To put it simply you are also probably a girlfreak and have bpd. See above about lesituationship.
Equius: You gotta be creative and have your own aus of homestuck written out in your head. If Equius is your favorite you saw what he could have been and ran with it. you also probably understand the importance of characters dynamic with their peers, or potential dynamics
Gamzee: Nice. Also a character that is made better by his potential for what could have been, but there’s more good stuff to work with than equius. Probably have a clown collection. You might still use the word swag in 2023
Eridan: You were probably into hetalia in the old days, and i’d be willing to guess you are into our flag means death now. You’re probably the most dramatic person you know and might have been in theater. i bet you are chronically transgender, and if you are not but this is still your favorite character i would like to let you know you might be transgender
Feferi: Probably someone with oldest daughter syndrome who spends a lot of time in their head. Most of the time spent is through daydreaming, and i bet you also have a homestuck au where fef is more involved and interacts with more characters because you are creative and can see the potential. There’s also someone in your life who’s shadow you feel you are in. Good luck with that.
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kedamonoxx · 5 months
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[The way I dropped everything and went to tumblr to make my own jax headcanons to satisfy my autistic homo brain?!1?1!?!]
‼️HES 22 YALL IM GOING DOWN THE RABBITHOLE…
Literally😫 (sorry)
Okokillshutupnow ‼️MAINLY MASC PRONOUNS. BUT I CAN DO A FEM ONE LATER FOR MY BBGS<3
Canonically stated by the creator he isn’t fluffy, I imagine he’s like smooth, like porcelain.
Compliment this gremlin, god it’ll fuel his ego so so much.
I feel like he’d be aroace but my lil idiot self wanna “play” with the polygon rabbit so imma say he just doesn’t get around much so ppl assume he is aroace. He just gives the vibes🤷🏻
God please pet him. Just. Like little pats every so often to make him question wtf is going on.
If y’all r dating he’d be the type to like-not leave you alone. Like a puppy he’d be glued to ur side. Or like stalking you to make sure youre okay.
Has smacked kinger out of the way to see you. Kinger sat there and, delayed went: “o w.”
Calls you stupid names to embarrass you “shmookums”, “bae” , “pretty boy” , “big boy” , “S L U T” <3
Stares at you a lot. Zones out a lot to, you can tell by the staring.
If dating (and with previous consent) he’d smack ur ass randomly just for you to turn around and go “WTF- oh hi jax”
He thinks it’s so funny.
Like- so funny. Magical even.
Finds little trinkets and brings them to you, kinda like a crow. “I bring a shiny thing. For you 🥺” in a sarcastic but also like humorous way.
He blushes, and he knows when he does cause he feels warm. So he runs off to literally cool off or refuses to look at you. (Or anyone) “stfu. I’m fine just- BLUSHING?! ME??? NEVER…k maybe a little- I MEAN NO NOT AT ALL-“*flips off, but gets censored*
Still tries to cuss a lot. Even with the censor it gets his point across. (I mean you hear like the first letter- like “BI****ch”)
Lanky mf. But regardless of him FEELING like porcelain he is very squishy. (Literally rubberhose)
“Haha ur gay” y/n: “we are literally in the middle of making out what is wrong with you???” J: “oh..yeah- right. F**k”
Gives gifts to show love. By literally going into ur room and leaving a shiny pebble with a sticky note with a happy face on it -> 💎😉
Gets bored so he doodles a lot. Nothing much just…layouts of the circus so he can effectively plan pranks. :)
Its 3am imma go to bed love y’all. <3 I’ll do more later
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marksbear · 1 year
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How about nate jacobs x male reader where they skip class to have sex inside the locker room, and reader though about doing something daring so he manhandle nate and walked toward the empty hallway fucking him there. Reader just laughed it off watching the panicking nate can't do anything, scared someone will see them. Maybe someone did see them but reader just shush him and walked back inside the locker room
I'm on the Job!
warnings! Public sex, cheater Nate, manhandling, Top male reader, spit as lube, short but not to short, strong male reader
NATE JACOBS X MALE READER
This wasn't the first time you did this. Well fuck Nate Jacobs. You two had this agreement at some random party in the bathroom just to do one another some face but things went south to you bending him over the sink.
Ever since that day Nate never left you alone. I mean you took his gay sex virginity he couldn't leave you alone. He was in some deep shit with Maddy and Cassie when you two had done it. Of course you regretted it at first because you and Maddy were like sisters and brothers. But pleasure overcame the guilt and regret.
Now it was almost like four times a week you and him sneak off to fuck in some bathroom or locker room.
This time the two of you were going to your regular spot in the locker room but you couldn't handle the urge any more. He had been teasing you all day and you wanted to get your revenge in your own little way. "Hey! Y/n are you even listening! I swear-" You cut him off by kissing him and slamming his back into the wall. He tries to pull away and shouts out a "What the hell man what are you doing! are you craz-" You cut him off again kissing his as roughly and deeply you can. You unbuckle his pants and shove your hand in his underwear jerking him off. You finally pull away letting Nate catch his breath "W-what are you doing mmm fuck! A-are you insane!" You laugh with an evil smirk and flip Nate's stomach to the wall harshly and causes him to moan. "Y/n L/n I swear to Ooh shi-shit. Fuck!! Nate shouts as you shove two fingers inside of him stretching him out as fast as you can. Once you think hes ready you spit onto your cock and slide it in his ass causing Nate to moan out like hes a virgin. Your thrust is sloppy and fast not caring about Nate and only looking for his prostate to make him be louder. Once you find it you abuse and hit the spot over and over. Nate mouth and chin are cover in drool as you fuck the life out of him moans "Yes yes yes!! fuck me" "Use me like im some cheap whore." and some more sentences that don't sound correct. Nate was too much in bliss to hear a gasp but you did and turn around just for you to calm down when you noticed it's just one of your close friends.
You turn him around and pick him and ask him to wrap his legs around you. Once he does you walk back towards the locker room while still fucking him walking.
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sergeifyodorov · 1 month
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I’m curious because of how you rank Cale, who do you think are the top 10 players in the league? (We can exclude goalies because they’re such an entirely different skill set but would love to hear their separate ranking)
oooh ok this is. an inchresting question... under the cut bc dashclog Et Cetera.... the cody sergeifyodorov unoffishul players rankings at This Very Moment In Time. get mad at me if u want idk let's dance
number ten: sidney crosby. Old Man Still Has It, More At Ten
number nine: david pastrnak. arguably -- and i am going to argue it -- the best pure shooter in the league. the reason hes not like theee goalscorer of all time is bc he generally lacks puck carriers/space creators/isn't much of a puck carrier or a space creator of his own, but like. based off shot alone? hundredth percentile.
number eight: elias pettersson. two way centre... the usual vancouver oish% boost but also just a fantastic dual threat AND a legit lady byng candidate with a penalty differential big enough to severely boost his value just based off that. like imho there's nothing that petey is specifically Good At (like how pasta is a pure goalscorer) but he's basically got no weaknesses. and hes gay
number seven: cale makar IS very good. conn smythe norris etc but most importantly he did win a hockeyblr babygirl of the year award so theres that too. some crazy bobby orr pointgetter. real good defensive results too. like hes crazy good and they say hes crazy good for a reason
number six: ill concede. leon draisaitl
[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]
number five: quinn hughes. i don't know what fuckass magic this sad little man has. decent finisher. great playmaker. best power play quarterback in the league. makes anyone who plays with him appear to be "oh shit, this guy's a great partner for hughes!" (i have seen this with at least 5 diff players, not one of whom anyone would consider Quite Good on their own.) L + ratio + oish% + makar has devon toews + youngest captain in the league + you bet that conn smythe and norris combo is his soon enough
number four: nathan mackinnon. best dual threat in the league (no one who's a better passer than him is a better goalscorer, and no one who's a better goalscorer is a better passer.)
number three: nikita kucherov. i want you to do something for me. i want you to go to espn dot com. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl slash team stats tampa bay lightning. it should be sorted by points for you. there's dearly beloved creepy eyes keeta right there in first. 94 points as of me writing this. crazy number for right now. wolfboy of all time brayden point should be in second. take a look for me rn at the difference between those two in points. what the fuck
number two: auston matthews. is this leafs bias? sure. im a leafs guy. im just saying that he's a better goalscorer than ovi in his prime, and he's a centre and great defensively too. i could tell you that he is fifth all time in goals per game, and two of the four guys ahead of him were born in the 1800s. i could tell you that he has 48 goals in 52 games right now, and 0 empty netters. i could tell you that if you only counted goals he scored when the leafs were down one or tied, he'd be in the top ten in goals this year.
[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]
number one: connor mcdavid. he has almost as many assists as the second-best in his draft class (mitchell) has points. he has 930 points in 620 games. he is the only player in the salary cap era to have a 150-point season. idk there's just fuckin . no one like him. like generally an untrained eye can't really see how much better or faster any given player is than the rest but like. you can with him. he just Looks a step ahead of the pack. top five all time, and he's in his prime rn!!!! lets go connie all my homies love connie
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graceful-not · 4 months
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SORRY IM INSANE??????? WHAJT THE FUCK??? I CANT EVEN FOCUS ON WHATEVE NYA AND JAY ARE DOING RIGHT NOW THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING ZANE???? MY BOY???? EXHO???? DI WE EVER SEE HIM AGAIN??? ISTG IF THEY JUST LEAVE HIM IN THIS LIGHTHOUSE AFTER THIS WHY ARE THEY NOT FREAKING OUT?!?????? HE WAS STUCK HERE THIS WHOLE TIME?? WHY DID DR JULIEN NOT SAY ANYTHING IM INSANE?!?!?? HES SO RUSTED IM. I. ok I actually really like the steampunk vibes VS zanes more modern ones but HUH???? JULIEN JUST LEFT HIM HERE?!?!??? ok good they're fixinyg him up but ????? WHYAT???? I LITERALLY. HUH. HUH SO DOES ZANE HAVE ABROTHER THEN??? IVR NEVRR HEARD OF TJIS GUY WHICH MEANS HE ISNT RLLY IMPORTANT BUT I. THERE ARE SO MABY GODDAMN IMPLICATIONS THIS SHOULD BE SO IMPORTANT I. WHY ARE THEY BRUSHING THIS OFF??? I UUST GOOGLED IT AJD HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE AN ARC BUT IT WAS TOO COMPLIXATED SO THEY CUT IT??? WHY ADD HIM??? THE ROLE COULD BE FULFILLED BY TAI-D WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME TJIS AND THEM RIP IT AWAY FRO ME. IM SO WORKED UP IM DOING THE FLAPPY HAND STIM AND I /NEVER/ DO THE FLAPPY HAND STIM. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. IM INSANE ABOUT ECJO?? AND THEN THEY JUST LEAVE HIM??? I DJONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT NADAKHAN WHRE IS MY BOY? MY SON?? WAS HE JUST IN THE SECRET BASEMENT WHILE JULIEN GREETED THE OG ZANE?!?????? I CAN'T DO THID WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS SO TRAGIC. WHERE IS HE GIVE HIM BACK TO.ME. WHY WERE THEY ACTING LIKE HES JUST SOME CONVENIENT WEAPON OR TOOL HES A WHOLE ASS PERSON?? LIKE THEYRE SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT ALL "aww awesome we have another Zane at our disposal!" HES A WHOLR PERSON. HE HAS FEEKINGS??? LIKE HE FEELS THINGS HES NOT JUST A COOL WEAPON??? IF THAT WAS A HUMAN CHILD THEYD HAVE BROUGHT HIM WITH THEM???? I CANT DO THIS WHAT THE FUCK
ECHO ECHO ECHO MY SON IS BACK MY BOY MY SON MY DARLING MY SWEETHEAR COME HERE I NEED TO PICK YOU UP AND KISSYS YOU. he seems. okay with being in there??? has he ever left the lighthouse??????? does he KNOW what's out there??? HE CANT HAVE UNTIL JULIEN LEFT BC OF THE KRAKEN THING SO??? HAS HE EXPLORED SINCE THEN IS THAT WHY HE SEEMS SO CONTENT THERE??? HE DOESNT MIND BEING LEFT THERE?!???? I DONT UNDERTSTAND. HES JUST CHILL. LIKE *salutes* yessir! NO ECHO!! ASJ QUESTIONS!! I LOVE YOU BUT RHAT WHOLE SEQUENCE WAS FOR NO REASON HE ADDS NOTHING TO THE REPLACEMENT NINJA TEAMM. WHY DID THEY GIVE ME THIS WHOLE ASS CHARACTER WITH 300000 IMPLICATIONS AND THEN JUST NOT MAKE HIM RELEVANT AT ALL!! HE DIDNT EVER NEED TO BE THERE I HONESTLY WISH HE DIDNT EXIST BC NOW IM GONNA BE THINKING ABT HIM FOREVER!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! ZANE WHY ARE YOU CHILL ABOUT HIS EXISTENCE "I see you brought some friends" YOU SHOULD BE FREAKING YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???? YOUR DAD BUILT THAT DUDE THATS SO FUCKED UP. TJATS UR BROTHER. THATSUR FUCKING BROHTER. AND THEN THEY JUST RESET TIME???? SO HES STILL IN THAT GODDAMN LIGHTHOUSE IM INSANE??? HES STILL IN THERE IS HE FUCKING ALIVE??!???? WHAT??? IS HE OKAY??? IM INSANE IM LITERALLY INSANE. AND UR TELLING ME TJEY NEVER MENTION OR DO ANYTHING WITH HIM AGAIN?!??? IM INSANE ABOUT THIS. IM INSANE. I CANT DO THIS WHAT THEFUCKN????? AUUAUAUAU. WHAT? HUH. WHATA???I need to find contebt of him right nowwhy is it all just shipping with Morro. good for them I guess but I don't CARE about the gay ghost what the FUCK is echos DEAL!!! WHAT IS UP WITH HIM???? ITS LITERALY ALL CITRUSSHIPPING ART WHERE IS ANY SPECULATIVE LORE??? WHAT ABOUT HIM AND ZANE WHATS THEYRE DEAL WHAT IF THEY METM WOULD TJEY BE BROTHERS?? IM HAVING SO MANY THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. Zane deserves a little bro dude... another one I mean. falcon and Tai-D can be bestfriends. I'm insane I'm fucking insane. I love Morro and all but goddamn that's really all there is here shdbsjdb. it's cute and all but very "what if errytjung was ok and they were alive and we didn't have to worry about canon" but WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS??? DO JAY ABD NYA JUST NEVER TELL ANYONE?!?!?? THATS A WHOLE ASS SAPIENT BEING??? HES LITERALY CONSCIOUS??? WHAT THE FUCK. YOU LEFT A WHOLE ASS PERSON BEHIND THATS SO FUCKED UP. IM INSANE.
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0requiem · 5 months
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My favorite brand of torisai is Toritsuka realizing hes Not Straight after rumors spread around school that Saiki's dating some guy
It's not true but he's like l. Trying obnoxiously to be a good ally (for girls to likr him and see him as a "sensitive" and "kind" guy) so hes like hey Saiki. If you swing that way, I totally support u man. Always♡ if I was gay, id totally date u. Thats how cool u are
Nd Saiki is like what the fuck are you talking about. Also please never imply I'd date u ever again.
And then the rest of the plot is Toritsuka tsking it way too personally and watching him interact with every other guy like "uhm IM NOT GAY but if I was WHY WOULDN'T SAIKI DATE ME. OH HE THINKS HES TIO GOOD FOR ME? IM GONNA PROVE HIM WRONG" and spends the entire episode trying to one-up all his friends with romantic gesture
And then it ends with Saiki explaining it was just a stupid rumor that spun way out of hand, but now the rumors have ebtirely changed to Toritsuka having a giant annoying crush on Saiki
And I mean well... if he doesn't stoo them from spreading he was just "busy" or "didn't notice" ok?♡
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tachimichishrine · 3 months
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<ok guys so hear me out. this is the second time i've posted this on tumblr (originally posted on my main— which isn't a fic blog btw) AND i have it somewhere on my other platforms that i havent touched in ages... im just tryin to organize myself so pls dont remind me..... womp womps apologetically,, anywho, it's canon that jouno was a crime executive before joining the hunting dogs sooooo !!!!!! >
"sweet and sour"
◝≞▣≞◜ crime executive!jouno saigiku x gn!reader
warnings: except for a bit of guns + cursing and ooc jouno,, none! this is all fluff :) i didn't write this in lowercase??? crazy amirite
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"Jouno Sai... Saigay? I was certain there was gay in there somewhere... Anyways! Hi!! It's a pleasure to meet you!!"
The mispronounced man in question glared at the individual who was giggling happily, strolling around in the office like they owned the place, shooting a, "Hey, Fernando, did you get a new haircut?", "Lookin' good in that suit, Ichika!", and, "Oh my god! Where did you get those shoes, I swear I saw the exact same ones at that store down the street, the uh... what's it called? Y'know what I'm talking about, don't'cha?" to his fellow executives like they've been friends for years on end.
The room had always been tense, from what he recalled. When people entered, they expected to get shot by the boss, or be given a task so difficult to complete that they would ultimately get shot. In short, a meeting with the renowned organization that Jouno Saigiku worked for was a death sentence for his subordinates, even more so for rival organizations.
Yet, this person had been bouncing around the walls like a child in a candy store, waving around the knife at their fingertips like a ten thousand yen bill and showing off the gun strapped to their thigh and waist with the same bubbly confidence of a new outfit they'd just bought the previous day.
'They're going to get themselves killed in no time,' he laughed to himself, waiting for the one in charge to enter the room.
For now, he was responsible for managing the building and their potential customer (from another criminal organization. It made him wonder how on earth someone like them could possibly be working in the same sadistic field as he did) until their meeting began. He'd never met this person in particular before, and wished he would've never had to. However, business was business, and he would need to accommodate them well enough to prevent a war between the two groups to break out.
"[l/n], was it?" he smirked, a strained playful smile that was barely hanging above the devilish one he had underneath. "It's Jouno Saigiku, and I'd recommend that you refrain from making yourself too comfortable in here. You are, as you know, on our turf, which means that-"
"Bla, bla, bla! you're so formal!" they scoffed with a wave of their hands, bouncing off of the velvet couch and strolling up to the executive, glaring at him with a particular expression that he couldn't see. "I'm actually rather touched that you knew my name! [l/n] [y/n], I'm your connect with [criminal organization name ~ [c /o/n]] so don't be a meanie!"
..."Don't be a meanie? "
As if by miracle, the boss entered right when they were about to get close enough to his straightened-out figure, almost army-like in posture, to tap his nose with their fingertip as one does with children. In his field of work, only people of utmost trust managed to meet directly with the person on the top, so he considered that perhaps they were prevalent in some other field that didn't have to do with relationships and appearance. Now, all he had to do was wait for his boss to get infuriated at their attitude and demand that he dispose of them and he'd be able to drag them out back and peel off their skin...
"[l/n], dear! It's been a while, has it not?"
This keeps getting better and better.
"Kantoku!" they beamed out, running over to the old man and avidly shaking his hand. "Oh, I've missed you so! Things have changed around here, didn't they? You never told me you promoted a new executive!"
With a playful eyeroll, Kantoku - the man in charge of his crime syndicate - gestured to the couch and began to converse, almost casually. What baffled him, perhaps the most of all, was that every regular beat of their heart was steady, this wasn't a feigned façade nor overcompensation for fear. This person was truly, genuinely an idiot.
"Pst, Jouno," the woman executive standing beside him nudged his shoulder, "the boss is here so we're free to go. Plus, that asshole who stole from us isn't talking, so we might need your help."
With that, he left behind both the room and the lingering feeling of confusion regarding [l/n] [y/n].
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Jouno Saigiku did not have a very complex job.
In fact, his daily tasks mostly consisted of torture and punishment, with the occasionally laying off (which undoubtedly meant death. There was quite a bit of death around him, a certain fading scent that permeated throughout any room he'd visit. This was not a literal physical scent, for that would obstruct his sight and handicap his senses, but nonetheless he found himself rather pleased when he felt warm blood splatter across his soft cheeks.)
Today was nothing different; supposedly, someone from [c /o/n] had blundered and fled right into their territory. Given the amical relationships between the two groups, it was their job to retrieve and return the fugitive, annihilate them if they do not cooperate and it becomes necessary.
At the moment, he found himself seated in a vehicle, driving to the last location that this person was last seen, being described as "[s/c] skinned and [e/c] eyed", all attributes which couldn't possibly make any difference to him, due to his lack of vision. When he asked for a name of this person, he was shocked to learn that it was the same energetical and bubbly individual who vaguely crossed his radar a few weeks back.
"Oi, oi, Jouno slow down, we don't wanna pass 'em 'cause you're drivin' too fast, 'ight?" his coworker for this mission reprimanded. "Just 'cause you can do that fancy hearin' thing ain't mean my eyes ain't good, 'ight?"
Jouno thus pressed his foot with more force against the gas pedal, speeding up the car only because he didn't quite like the tone of this person.
"Hm?" he asked innocently. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you very well, what did you say?"
"I said slow down you-"
They cut themselves off, not allowing for a response since their silence indicated that they had learnt something new.
"Woah, yeah, they're right over there!" they exclaimed, tapping a point on the window so that Jouno could hear the faint sound and distinguish which direction their target was. "Pull over, I'll tie 'em up and toss 'em in the back."
The white-haired man paused momentarily, thin brows imitating each other as they angled upwards in confusion.
"What do you mean? That's not them."
"For a blind bitch, ya really think yer all that, don't'cha? I can literally see them right now, they're standing outside the fuckin' car so pull over and lemme mug 'em."
His lips had pressed into a line, contemplating the situation. The reason he wasn't allowed to go on his own was because they were extremely picky about identifying the right culprit, yet Jouno cared little for his escort of sorts. He'd encountered [l/n] before, and what marked his memory the most, asides from their childlike behavior, was how their heart hadn't betrayed a thing on the outside attitude, despite being blatantly threatened. This person, the one that his temporary partner had suggested was their target, was in fact sweating buckets and had such an erratic heartbeat he might've believed them to be having tachycardia. On top of this, their breathing was not the same, from what he gauged, they couldn't possibly be the right height, build and walking pattern. People on the run obviously become more more jittery when faced with escaping an impossible situation, but this conflicted his knowledge in too many ways to be true.
"I believe," he suggested calmly with a grin appearing, still refusing to unlock the doors or pull over, therefore driving past the individual, "that [l/n] might not be as gullible as we first presumed, and that this person is a decoy set up to distract us."
And so, Jouno found himself pleasantly challenged by the least likely person.
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As the sun bled out into the sky during its descent from the zenith to the crepuscule, Jouno had finally managed to shed his gravely irritating partner and complete his task alone.
That idiot - really, that's all he could call them - decided to ignore his words and kidnap the scapegoat. Of course, this person sobbed and repeatedly told them that they're not the right person, that there's been a mistake, but no one believed their words. Inevitably, they were tortured for a few hours and deemed unnecessary. Jouno shot them, then headed back to search for the real culprit.
"Now, where could they be?" he hummed, almost amusedly, to himself. "Most people tend to lay low when running from important and dangerous organizations, but something tells me..."
He was rather lucky, in a sense, that someone had spotted the fugitive near a bar. However, this was over 5 hours ago. People on the run tend to be smart enough to scatter from location to location, but he supposed he shouldn't be overestimating other people's intelligence.
The door creaked with a lowly groan, as did the floor when he applied weight onto it via his heavy tread. Upon first impressions, the bar was nearly empty.
Then, he heard a voice call out.
"SAIGAY!! Ahh, it's been a while, hasn't it?! Come, come! Can I order you anything? You look like a bourbon man, are you into bourbon? Unless... fine wine? Oh dear, don't keep me guessing, come, sit!"
Immediately, as soon as they called out his name and announced themselves with such ardor, he knew he had the right person.
"No thank you," he smiled. "I can't drink, I'm currently at work."
"Are you? Aw, you don't mean you're here to kill me?" they replied, voice dipping down to a pouty grumble as they neared the end of the sentence. "I'm tired of people trying to kill me, it's no fun."
Idling at the entrance, Jouno didn't quite motion to sit next to them, nor did he seek to keep close in case of sudden evacuation. From what he had heard, this person was without ability, so they didn't pose much danger. Nevertheless, he was a cautious man, and had known that false information could potentially be fatal in certain circumstances, especially when the target is acting so laid back.
"You stole half a million yen from one of the most dangerous organizations around, I don't particularly think you'd've expected it to be fun."
Met with muttering, he would've asked them to speak up had he not heard the nearly incomprehensible, "but I didn't steal anything" from their lips.
"You didn't?" he said aloud. "Then where do you suppose the money had gone?"
A pause insinuated, and he pondered repeating his question in a more forceful way when they answered. "Woah, you've got great hearing! I wish I were like that, half the time people talk to me and all I hear is 'bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bl-'"
Jouno pulled out his firearm and pointed it directly at them.
"Enough games. Cooperate and I'll only make it hurt a lot."
"Gee, mister, did someone piss in your cheerios? I'll come, I'll come, just give me a second! I want to finish my drink."
On the table, however, there wasn't a single glass.
Upon having Jouno point this detail out (for while he could not see, he could still visualize objects in space with his other senses), they paused briefly. "So either you're blind but scarily good at it, or you can see through that crazy squinting of yours."
"I don't appreciate you stalling," he hummed, cocking the gun. "Do you think I won't shoot?"
"No, no, it's clear you would!" giggled the individual. "But, oh, do tell me more about yourself. Being threatened is so much more pleasant when-"
He shot them once.
He shot them twice.
Both bullets landed in non-lethal locations, such as their right shoulder and calf, which was enough to get his message across without rushing his punishment for their actions.
"That hurt!" they frowned, clutching at the opening from which blood was rushing out. "Owwie! You really don't like talking with people, do you, Saigay?"
"Saigiku," he corrected with a hiss. "Do you ever stop talking? I could very well kill you right now."
"Well, I sure hope you don't!"
This just made him want to shoot them even more.
He listened eagerly as they let out a few hisses and groans, then a soft squelch and the clattering of a metal against the marble countertop. He guessed that they were taking out the bullet from their calf, since the one in their shoulder had effectively shattered into hundreds of shards, and would require special medical attention immediately if they wished to live for a few more years. Then again, he knew that they probably wouldn't live past tomorrow, so it wasn't his concern.
Letting out a soft gasp while they tore off part of their attire in order to wrap their injured limb, they still seemed to be laughing. "Thanks."
"For the gunshot wound?" the white-haired male tried to clarify. He didn't take them to be such an open masochist.
Yet, his question only spurred a flurry of coughing and chuckles. "Of course not! I meant, thank you for not attacking me further. Really thought you'd kill me here and now, but you're letting me treat my wounds without interference. Is it because you have orders not to kill me?" Adding with a terribly comedic bite of their lip, they said, "Or have you been seduced by my charm?"
Once he made it perfectly clear that he'd shoot again, they backed off on the teasing remarks and requested that he help them up. "To walk," they'd clarified. "I can't walk, y'know. How do you plan on getting me back to your base?"
"I'll drag you by your hair if I need to," he replied.
(He had to hijack a car because there was no way he'd drag a body across the city, especially not a body as talkative as this one.)
"So you're telling me," they pondered while blindfolded and cuffed in the back of the vehicle, "that you're blind, yet you have highlights? They're pretty, I'll give you that, but why did you colour it? Midlife crisis? Doesn't sound right to me, plus you can't even see the colour so why on earth would you do it? Are you responding to me? I can't hear anything with this blindfold over my ears. Aren't blindfolds supposed to obstruct your vision, not your hearing? Man, but maybe I can hear perfectly fine and it's all your fault because you're not answering me. C'mon, Saigay, humor me!"
Of course, he had no intentions of humoring them.
"You're lucky I didn't gag you," he said. "Or cut off your tongue. In fact, knocking you unconscious would've been a splendid idea."
"But you didn't!" the ex-criminal beamed. "Besides, I'm going to get beat up enough once you deliver me back to [c /o/n]. If you ask them to let you watch and/or participate, they won't say no, I think. Pops isn't too strict when it comes to those things."
"Pops?"
"Y'know, the head of [c /o/n]. He's my dad's close friend and the brother in law of your boss."
That explained a lot of things, starting with this seemingly innocent person's involvement with such dark themes. Yet, there was still something Jouno needed to know.
"And you betrayed your own family friend?" asked the blind man, quickly approaching the location of the building in which he was given rendezvous for the drop-off of the traitor.
"Ahh, connections don't mean shit," they scoffed, waving around their tied hands as if to emphasize their point. "But I didn't betray them. I'd have to be an idiot.... No, not an idiot, whatever is worse than an idiot in order to steal money from a man who would've given me the cash if I asked him for it. So, no. I didn't steal anything. That's why I didn't run; I'm not guilty of anything, running would make it look like I am."
Jouno was interiorly perplexed. So they've got a decent brain behind all of that buttery personality, after all. But, there was just something about them that didn't fit with the narrative, something he couldn't wrap his head around.
"Why wait for me to tie you up?" he finally suggested aloud, hearing his own words formed allowing him to make more sense of his confusion. "Why not just waltz into the building? This makes you look both stupid and guilty."
A laugh burst from the backseat, the kind of laugh that makes you want to join in despite not fully understanding the reason behind it. It was however cut short, due to a sharp inhale of pain then a few curses murmured at their injuries.
"Maybe I am an idiot. Maybe I wanted to get caught. Who knows? Maybe this was all part of my master plan to lure you near Negishi Station so that I could use my all-powerful ability."
He spent a few seconds registering that last bit. Lure him out to Negishi so they could...
"BOOM!"
With a jolt, he nearly crashed the car; luckily, in time Jouno had realized that this was just a sound effect from the hostage, and not a real crash caused by an ability. They were, in fact, right next to Negishi, which made the whole thing a huge coincidence, but other than that, nothing occurred. They were still in the car, unharmed and untouched by any ability that he could detect.
Meanwhile, [l/n] was laughing their ass off.
"BWAHAHAH, you actually fell for it!!" they managed between heaving breaths and uncontrollable laughter. "I knew that since you were blind you would be sensitive to loud noises but that worked so much better than I thought it would, you should've seen your face! You were all like," then they proceeded to make a plethora of faces he couldn't see, but that he knew were all mocking him.
[l/n] continued, "By the way, just because I haven't used it doesn't mean I don't have an ability. So watch out for your ass, pretty boy, or else I might just... BAM!"
He did not flinch this time, but he found himself rather frustrated with his previous reaction. People, normal people, never teased him this way. He'd have thought [l/n] would be a bit less friendly around him after sustaining the injuries, but so far, that appeared only to drive them towards a playful alternative to revenge on par with a snowball fight between two children.
"I'll tell you what," concluded the hysterical individual attempting to calm themselves down, "let's do this again, same time tomorrow? Muah, it was lovely meeting you Saigay!!"
Before he could protest or question this, they waved around their somehow uncuffed hands, reached for the handle of the car door, pushed it open and leaped out.
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He found himself standing at the entrance of the bar the very next day.
It was beyond frustrating to pick up the pieces of yesterday's aftermath; based on his recollection and the most probable situation, [l/n] likely used the loud noises not only to ruffle and distract him, but to cover up for the sound of the click of their handcuffs being taken off, courtesy of a pin they had picked the lock with. On top of this, their haphazardous mention of Negishi station was just a way of situating themselves in space (since they had been blindfolded) so they could think of the safest escape route.
He quite frankly did not expect to be outsmarted by someone who can't even remember his name right. Yet, the fact remained that he was strolling up to the entrance of the same place as he'd previously apprehended them at, same hour of the day. He rather hated the sunset; nothing felt right for him. Not the consistent buzzing of the cicadas during the day nor the melodic trilling of the crickets; dusk never held a sustainable aura, and for this reason he'd grown to loathe it, despite being told repeatedly that the setting sun was beautiful.
Rushing curtly inside the building, the bells connected to the door jingled, and, almost on cue, a loud cheer roused him from his lucid trance.
"Saigay!! Over here, over here! Can't say I expected you to show up, but I'm pleasantly surprised!" gleamed [l/n] upon his arrival.
"It's Saigiku," he repeated for an umpteenth time, "and I'm here to turn you in."
They shook their head. "I'd have hoped you'd realized that I don't take to being kidnapped. But I do appreciate the perseverance, so I'll make a deal; have a drink with me, then I'll cooperate for an entire 5 minutes without trying to escape."
"...You truly are an odd person," said he, despite taking a seat by their side and waiting. He didn't know what trick they had up their sleeve (rather, their cast. Turns out, they'd gone to a private medical professional in order to have it looked at. He smiled when he noticed this; a sure sign that victory was much more likely tonight.)
"I'll take that as a compliment!" [l/n] laughed heartily, then called for the waiter. "One [favorite drink] for me, and he'll have a cup of whiskey. The good type, y'know what I mean, darling?"
The waiter raised a brow at the nickname and odd hint, but took the order anyways and began preparation. Meanwhile, Jouno sat, trying to protest that he did not want anything to drink, but was quickly cut off by his temporary enemy's much louder affirmations that he did indeed want some.
"You don't look like the type to be trying out sobriety," they hummed, "but I know if I let you chose for yourself, you wouldn't get anything. You'd be all," (and here their voice deepened and became gruff in an attempt to make it clear that they were looking to mock him,) "'I'm here to kill you! I'm a mass murderer so fear me!!' Am I right or am I right?"
Before he could respond, the fingers on their uninjured hand began to flick his dangling earring, on the right side of his face.
"You have an earring," they pointed out, almost stupidly. "Why don't you have one on the other side?"
He wasn't going to respond to any of this. In fact, he was toying with the knife in his pocket, gauging the right moment to strike with such an unpredictable opponent.
"Because I don't," he said dully. The waiter came, their glasses clinking with the ice inside as it toyed around in the liquid, gently being placed onto the counter.
"Fair enough," they smiled. "Okay sooooooo, wha'd'ya wanna talk 'bout? Gimme anything, I hate silence."
That made two of them.
"What is your ability?" he said rather bluntly, with a soft hum. He was in an optimal position to strike, only a few centimeters away, but he thought better than to attack without knowing such an important piece of information. Besides, with the way the conversation was going, they seemed to be eager to tell him the truth, for whatever reason, so he wouldn't lose anything to try.
After taking a long sip from their drink, they paused. "Nothing, I don't have one. You?"
The cautious man pressed further. "I find it hard to believe you haven't an ability in such a dangerous environment."
With a chuckle, they took another gulp from the glass. Then, turning to him with a relaxed heartbeat, they said very calmly and slowly, "I don't believe in needless deceit. Unlike you, Mr. Hide-my-knife-in-my-pocket-that-I'm-going-to-stab-you-with, I don't play dirty. So, when I say that I don't have an ability, don't be so surprised, yeah? The majority of people don't. I supposed when you're gifted, you don't quite try to sympathize with those unlike you."
So, they're aware of the weapon, yet made no move to dodge? Perhaps he's overthinking this, after all there are many people who seem invincible just because one doesn't act based on rational decisions, but based on their feelings. He should know, he spends most of his free time toying with said emotions and tearing them apart.
In one swift movement, he let his knife slide back down his pocket and removed both hands from the shadows.
"You sound genuine," he said, almost to himself.
"Well, I sure hope so," they laughed, despite nothing particularly funny being said. "I am being genuine, after all. You'll be able to bring me in and tie me up properly in a little while, so I'm going to enjoy the now while I still can, that's my philosophy!"
"Your philosophy is to drink something before you get kidnapped instead of trying to escape?" he repeated, incredulous. Perhaps their drink was laced with something, some kind of drug that drags your mood to a high. Even if he smelled no trace of anything other than [favorite drink], he concluded that this was the only reasonable explanation to this indecipherable human being.
Doubling over with a violent wheeze, they were (yet again) laughing at his words. They babbled a few words between gasps for breath, such as, "Didn't know you had a sense of humour!" and "Please, I can't breathe!" like he'd been a world renowned comedian. He almost felt the urge to clarify that he was attempting to degrade them, to criticize them and point out their stupidity, but one does not simply explain themselves when insulting another. Typically, their words transmitted the message well enough, but this was far from a typical recipient.
Finally recovering, they put on a mock angry face and waved around their finger. "You fiend, take it easy, I'm injured! At this rate, you'll make me pop my lungs out, ahah! Is that your master plan? To incapacitate me verbally? Bravo, I didn't expect that!"
"I wasn't..." he said, trailing off as he was thoroughly perplexed. What does one say in his situation? At this rate, his biggest concern was their oddities, not their capture.
On second thought, he nearly forgot that he was here to capture them.
"That's the beauty of it," they exclaimed, waving around their drink and spilling a considerable amount on his shirt accidentally with the grand gesture. "Unintentional torture! Wow, you must be even better than what I've heard about you, Saigay."
Not even bothering to correct them, he said, "And what exactly have you heard of me?"
"One, that you're very attractive. Two, you're ruthless when it comes to sadism. Three, you have exceptional intellect and four, you can hear heartbeats. Is that last one true? Wouldn't that make you a living polygraph?"
He was, but also wasn't, listening. The first thing they'd mentioned was his attractiveness, likely physical, but what an odd thing to point out, that is! Fighting down the odd feeling blooming in his chest with success, he finally mustered a response; an affirmation.
"That must be your ability," they pondered. "Isn't it? You'd be too strong if you had something else on top of this."
With a grin, Jouno explained, "It is not."
A melodramatic gasp could be heard echoing throughout the mostly empty room. "It isn't?? Gah, I must've been astronomically lucky to have escaped you last time!"
He'd've agreed had he not been promptly cut off by a rush of guesses regarding his ability. Most were way off, a select few absurd, and the entirety of them wrong. He felt his face contort into that of a confused expression when they suggested that he might be able to listen to people through walls, drawing an example by explaining that he might, and here the words were engraved into his mind, "listen in on people while they went to the bathroom, thus deducing whether their digestion was going well." Somehow, this had become a conversation in which they recounted the vivid tale of their daunting task of finding a bathroom once when they'd been in a 'foreign environment' - also known as the downtown region of the neighboring city during a negotiation.
All done and said, they'd contented themselves with a fairly one sided discussion, and he sipped down the Japanese whiskey he'd been handed. Upon noticing this, [l/n] stuck out both of their wrists as best as they could, pressed near one another as if pleading.
"Well, a deal's a deal! Take me away, Saigay! Ah! That rhymes! Maybe I should become a poet!" they giggled.
Jouno considered this for a long time, the topic that was on his mind ever since his arrival. The previous day, he'd told his boss that [l/n] couldn't be found, and that he must've made a mistake when saying that the doppelganger was a fake. This, of course, was untrue, but it also gave him leeway in case he found himself up against a formidable opponent. All of this meant that, if he did not turn [l/n] in to [c /o/n], he himself would not lose anything.
It wasn't sympathy, he told himself, that led him to get up and walk away as they left their arms extended. No, it was just an avoidance of unnecessary effort. If he walked away now, he would save himself the hassle of detaining them, all the while giving this person a second chance. Who knows, perhaps they'd be useful to him in the future.
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Jouno had not expected to be called by the lower ranking members of his organization early in the morning. What he had expected was to go to his office; not being told that there was a "package" waiting for him at the base.
He hadn't a clue what this package was. His first instinct was that it was a weapon of sorts, a bomb, anything that did damage. Although, it could very well also be a traitor who had been tied up and sent to him as a peace offering. The more he thought about it, the happier he was as he approached the location in which he was expected.
"J-Jouno-sama!" exclaimed one of the nervous underlings - a kid, really - holding a...
...A dog?
It barked at him, growling and struggling in the grasp of the two kids tasked with holding it down.
"What is this, a prank?" Jouno hissed, ready to make them pay before he even got the entire story.
One of them audibly gulped as their blood drained from their face, while the other stuttered an explanation. "N-No! We f-found this dog attached w-with a leash right in front of the building, and there was this attached to its collar," they said as they handed the executive a wrinkled piece of paper which, upon further inspection, turned out to hold an uncanny resemblance to a napkin from a nearby fast food place.
On it, there were an assortment of dots which were ink being pressed hard onto the fabric. Braille, he concluded. This person seemed not only to have specifically destined this to him, but desired to keep the contents for him only, rather than have someone read it for him.
On it, he managed to decipher the following:
'Dear Saigay,        Thanks for not trying to kill me!! I'm certain you're just a big softie heheh.         The doc told me I shouldn't be moving around too much after those wounds you gifted me, so now I'm kinda on house arrest lolol. Either way, I'd've loved to thank you personally but can't so I got you a present, its name is undecided yet BUTTTTTT they're a bitch just like you so I called them saigay jr. for the time being ♡ plus I figured you never had a guide dog, right?? So here you go!  XD
p.s. you never told me what kind of drink you liked. was I right about the whiskey? pls tell me!! i'll recover properly then find you, so you better have an answer by then >:( p.p.s. heheh peepee s p.p.p.s. you still haven't told me why your hair is dyed p.p.p.p.s. SAIGAY JR HAS YOUR MISSING EARRING BTW!!'
What on earth-
He certainly was no longer angry at this weird dog, but at the owner.
What made it worse was that the two kids had finally gotten over their fear of him and started calming down the dog (which he was not going to called Saigay Jr., much less Saigiku Jr.), noticing the earring; it was only a clip on that was obviously made up of cardboard clippings and poorly colored insides, as well as engravings that he could physically feel and recognize, but the resemblance to his own was noticeable. He wondered if this was an insult from [l/n] disguised as a present, but decided that there were too many exclamation marks for this to be anything resembling a threat. Not to mention the "XD".
Now, he had to figure out the dog. It's too much noise and too much effort, besides he doesn't like dogs all that much. He supposed he'll just have to snatch off that wretched earring and dispose of it before anyone makes the link and this haunts him, then kick it out. Surely it'll wander back off to its home or whatever. None of what followed would be his concern.
"Jouno s-sama, what should we do with the dog?" uneasily asked the kid. He shook his head, snatched the makeshift earring in one fell swoop and crumbled it into a ball in his hand.
"Take it outside, it isn't mine and I don't care about it. This was just a prank from someone I know."
With this, Saigay Jr. was released back onto the street, the collar still coated with braille dots that spell out its name.
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Once work was done, he decided to go for a walk, for some fresh air. However, Jouno was not expecting to hear panting coming from his side.
Saigay Jr. barked at him, happily wagging their tail and bouncing on their paws.
"What is wrong with you," he swore under his breath, then made his tone much vocal. "Go away! I don't want you here!"
None of this, obviously, got across to the dog, who was still following him closely.
"I said go away!" he yelled, a bit louder but also significantly harsher. "Stupid bitch."
It somehow reacted differently, barking much more avidly and skipping over to him with apparent excitement.
At this rate, he'd never get rid of the dog. He contemplated calling the pound and having someone take them in, but knew that this was likely an unnecessary step to take. Regardless, he'd have to get rid of it soon. All this barking is going to make him dizzy soon.
The sounds subsided as it transitioned from growling to a soft whine, choosing to lay down. It was then that he noticed a certain odor that he hadn't paid attention to before.
...Blood?
He almost could've sworn the dog was injured.
Jouno decided that it was not his concern and left it there, on the street, alone.
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The dog was certainly a stubborn little thing, as it was there when he came to work the next day.
He took out his gun, shot it in the air (loud noises hurt him a lot, but he knew the same applied to the animal) and hummed contently as it scurried off out of fear, out of his life.
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Saigay Jr. came back the very next day.
"Oh, will you fuck off already?" he groaned, taking out his gun yet again to fire a warning shot. Of course, he wasn't going to actually kill the beast, but he was reaching a point where he was very well considering it.
He stopped himself as he heard it whine, then lower itself to the ground, almost bowing to him in a human fashion.
"I'm not keeping you. [l/n] should've just left you in the dump where they found you," he said, realizing that he was talking to a literal dog.
He reached his hand out with a sigh, and began to pet it. This clearly made the dog calm down significantly, as it was finally getting recognition from the one it believed to be its owner, and so it didn't noticed as he curled his fingers around the leash, detached the ends of the collar then used it to attach the canine to a post.
As soon as it realized its situation, it began to growl, barking aggressively at him, then pouting and almost seeming like it was about to cry. Jouno didn't care, however, as he took out his burner phone and dialed animal patrol.
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Somehow, by some un-abiding law of the universe, Saigay Jr. was there, sitting happily, waiting for him outside of the building in which he operated.
Its leg and arm seemed to be getting better, he could tell, which made it likely that it wouldn't stop coming back to annoy him.
"It's like a miniature [l/n]," he laughed to himself.
Over time, he'd almost began to enjoy his daily encounters with the animal. He found it almost enjoyable to pet and ruffle its soft fur, eliciting the pleasant reaction of a calm dog.
Today, he decided, he would stop pushing it away. It's Houdini, this mynx, a Houdini who refused to disappear and could get out of any trap he laid for it.
"First off," he crouched down, stroking its ear, "ground rules. You are not my dog. I'm doing this to see if it'll get rid of you once you get bored with me. Got it?"
Ears drooping, Saigay Jr. seemed to be saying, "aww, but I wanted to be your dog!", to which Jouno replied with a look that said, "Don't make me get up and leave."
"Second rule, keep your piss and shit away from me, I'm not touching or smelling any of that. Third, you do as I tell you to. Understood?"
He wasn't expecting the dog to nod, but would've liked seeing it react other than burrowing its head further into the palm of his hand. Reluctantly, Jouno didn't resist, and sat there entertaining its need for physical touch for a few moments before springing to his feet.
"I'm going home. You are not allowed in my house," he warned, turning around.
Saigay Jr. followed him home anyways.
Somehow, as the day turned into night, he found himself helpless when it comes to resistance against this dog. It was thankfully very unproblematic, not making much of a mess when they arrived to the apartment which he lived in (it wasn't his, evidently. The criminal organization he worked for simply scared off all the tenants and let their members live there, unofficially.) He gestured to a corner for it to stay while he settled down, and stuck there for as long as he told it to.
As he took care of his own affairs, the time to rest finally came, and the dog didn't appear to have any plans to depart from its new best friend.
"Leave," he repeated forcefully, pointing to the door left ajar for it to crawl outside. "I said leave."
The message seemed to be getting across, as Saigay Jr. finally began to trek towards the entrance.
Then, it used its snout to shut the door, returning promptly and sitting down in front of him, waiting for some kind of reward.
"I'd really wish you'd die right now," he threw a hand on his face, tilting it upwards to display his frustration. "Fine. Let's play this the hard way."
He walked outside his apartment, knowing that the dog would follow, and shut the door behind them both. With a smirk, he activated his ability, disintegrating into the smallest specks and re-entering the room while sifting through the openings on the side of the door.
This way, he was back inside while the animal was whining from the outside, scratching occasionally to ask him to let them back in.
"Absolutely not," he laughed proudly, tossing himself into bed, trying to will himself to fall asleep before he'd begin to feel guilt about leaving the diligent and loyal gift from [l/n] outside.
A click, a creak and a shuffle later, and he heard a very clear panting noise.
Saigay Jr. had somehow managed to get inside.
"Fuck, you know what? I don't care anymore," groaned the tired man. "I give up. You win."
As he let himself doze off, the dog had crawled up onto the bed and softly laid its head on his chest, breathing steadily.
Jouno wouldn't admit that the sound and feeling was a nice change to his norm.
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At this point, Jouno had practically adopted Saigay Jr.
He didn't hear anything from [l/n], which he found odd since it had been over 6 months since he'd last seen them. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking about them; he'd only known the peculiar individual for a grand total of about 3 encounters, one of which he hadn't even interacted with them and the other two being attempted kidnapping and murder. The white-haired man knew that the only reason their image stuck in his head was due to this dog, this constant reminder of them, on top of their boisterous personality that he could've swore made him look at people like him (who had little to no personality, all business and no fun, as they might've said) differently.
The dog was a weird new addition to his life as well. He'd never seen it eat nor require to be walked. In fact, their relationship had gotten to the point where he was becoming more and more eager to be in its company; he woke up with Saigay Jr. (whose name he couldn't bring himself to change nor get out of his head), the both of them walked to his work, and then when he was done with his daily torturing, the loyal animal was waiting for him at the door of his apartment. He occasionally let it sleep in his bed, but mostly it found a small corner on the couch where both of them seemed content. It was a particularly odd situation; Jouno did not like pets. In fact, he didn't like people, so why would he expose himself to this small, fluffy thing for daily companionship? He didn't know, but found that there was no need to question a mutually beneficial situation.
Today, however, something odd had happened.
Saigay Jr. was not waiting in front of his door when he got back, covered in the heavy smell of blood for today's session was especially... artistic.
"Junior?" he found himself calling out, a name he never had the need to say out loud due to their chemistry. Yet, there seemed to be no movement nearby.
Weird, he thought, but there's no need to make a big deal out of this. The animal probably had to attend to its animal business, or whatever. Maybe the meeting that they always attend while he's at work was running late, he humored himself.
A few hours later, and nothing happened, no one showed up scratching at his front door or barking at it. He'd told himself that he was going to keep going on with his day as if nothing happened, but sleep was difficult to find because of the nagging feeling that something wasn't right.
It was then that he heard a knock at his door.
Not a scratch, but a knock.
He grabbed the firearm from the drawer next to his bed, and greeted the guest with a smile as he unlocked the door cautiously.
"Saigay!!"
He couldn't believe it; [l/n] was standing at his door.
"Sorry, sorry, I know this is sudden but at least be glad you were wearing pants when I knocked on the door," they spoke casually, letting themselves into his apartment and spreading themselves on the couch like they'd been living there for a while, in a particularly odd way that eerily resembled that of his dog, "but I was running late since my dad was telling me that I should come clean about this whole thing and bla bla, y'know that old man wisdom? You seem like you know what old geezers think. Anyways, Dad was givin' me the lecture and whatnot, so I told him that since I was mostly recovered, I might as well come and say hi without barking."
"Without... barking?"
He squinted his eyes even further as he tried to make sense of this.
"So you didn't gift me a dog, you..."
"Were the dog? Yup! The name's actually Soseki [y/n], and I've been a spy at [c /o/n] for about a year or two, can't remember too well since my time was cut short by a certain injury some pretty asshole gave me. Annoying, ain't it? I hate getting shot at. Being a dog is so much easier."
"You lied," he said, trying not to panic from the fact that he had been sharing his life for quite some time with another person in disguise, "when you said you didn't have an ability."
"Of course! Isn't that what everyone does? People lie tons, like when you told 'Saigay Jr.' that you didn't have a ticklish spot, only for me to find out that you have sensitive ears and chest. Very ticklish, especially when you think no one is watching."
He felt the blood rushing to his face while he swallowed dryly. What else had he done accidentally in all that time? He couldn't possibly have kept track of everything.
"Aw, he blushes," they laughed, tapping his nose before he could recover. "Relax, I'm not out to get you. I thought you were interesting and cute when you kidnapped me, so I thought I'd put you to the test for a bit while I recovered from my injuries. Okay, not so much a test, per se, but I wanted to hang out with you. I had a feeling you were lonely, and I was right!"
Heartbroken wasn't the right word to describe how he felt; what was running through his mind was a hellish mixture of embarrassment and fear of vulnerability. It's the sensation one feels when one is deceived and looks back on it, wondering how they could've been so foolish. He should've known, he kept telling himself.
"I get that you probably feel humiliated. Dad says that most people do, so I've just gotta smile and remind them that I've got a terrible memory," they laughed, reading his mind. "Maybe once you get over it you'll come to realize that I wasn't lying about wanting your friendship."
With a timid smile, nothing like what their usual bubbly personality would typically make, they bowed gently to him, seemed to consider leaning in to hug him, then decided that this all would be too much at once.
[y/n] left, hesitantly adding, "Same place... tomorrow?"
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Why had Jouno showed up at the bar where they had originally been introduced, all those months ago, when he'd been so foolishly deceived?
Perhaps it was as he kept repeating in his head, that he was there to pick up the pieces of his torn dignity. Or maybe it was to finally kill them and receive the reward on their head.
Or was it to accept their offer?
He reassured himself that he couldn't possibly, that people were terrible and he couldn't let himself get soft with this one or else he'd become mushy and weak. He wasn't sure what terrified him so much about that idea, but he didn't even consider it as an option.
As always, the bells jingled as he entered, but there was no shout of his mispronounced name.
Nevertheless, he took a seat at the counter, ordering the whiskey not because he wanted some, but because he subconsciously attributed it to this location and time, despite not having an overwhelming number of memories here. He supposed that certain memories can be short but impact you more than you could ever fathom.
Even while he waited, he'd began to feel the pit of his stomach drop, like he had a cavity in his chest in place of a soul. Jouno hadn't realized up until now how accustomed he'd grown to a persistent joyful presence in his life, be it [y/n] under human or canine form.
The waiter returned, placing his order against the counter, and murmuring in a melodic voice, "I didn't expect you to come."
He didn't have to glance upwards to know it was [y/n], and so kept his gaze downcast.
"I'd say I'm sorry but I don't quite see anything to apologize for," they said, taking a sip out of his drink, lips lingering at the rim of the glass. "I had a lot of fun in the past few months, haven't you? My approach might've been a bit cruel, but think of it as Karma for shooting me, twice. This way, we're even! Wha'd'ya say? We good?"
Jouno's mouth betrayed him as he snatched the cup from them, chugged it all down at once, then said, "yeah, why not?"
Immediately, their heart rate sped up from excitement, and they leapt across the counter to trap him in a bear hug. Trying to resist but knowing there was no point, he eventually melted into their embrace.
Pulling away, they giddily babbled, "Okay, so now that you've forgiven me, I feel like it's a great time to mention that I've seen you strip multiple times and I would've told you that it was weird to change your clothes in front of a dog but I didn't know how to tell you or look away without acting weird so I just went with it and I feel like maybe I should compliment your stellar abs while I'm rambling like this but complimenting you will probably not do much good so how about I just offer you another drink and we forget this whole thing?"
Jouno cursed under his breath, nearly chuckling but not quite, realizing that they were right. "Fuck, what else did I do?"
"Well, I've got to tell you that your snoring is adorable, but you roll a lot in your sleep and that, mister, is something we need to take care of."
For the first time since he could remember, Jouno laughed a genuine laugh, not laced with malice or sugarcoated, as he listened to [y/n] vividly recounting their numerous embarrassing tales of him, only to be teased back for their dog habits like the panting and tail wagging. He'd've thought that the drinks were making him loose, but [y/n] had actually told the waiter to give them both multiple shots of apple juice.
As the night progressed, Jouno slowly found out that he'd opened himself up a lot more than he was comfortable admitting. Yet, this made him both want to retreat and lock [y/n] out of his life and invite them into his daily rituals, to never let them go. On the other hand, [y/n] had always found him to be a wonderful person, and only became further entranced as they watched him operate on a daily basis.
Somehow, Sweet fell in love with Sour, and Sour fell in love with Sweet.
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Another set of months later, Jouno returned from a particular mission given to him in the middle of the night, exhausted, ready to do nothing expect collapse onto the bed and sleep.
He was practically dragging his feet as he approached the door of his apartment, inserted the keys lazily and opened it. As always, his partner called out for him.
"Sai!" they said, skipping up to the door and noticing his beat up expression. "Damn, what did they force you to do this time?"
He shook his head before burying it into the crook of their neck and letting his hands dangle by their side. "The guy I had to interrogate was an opera singer, lungs of fucking steel." Strands of his hair were brushing by their skin, and his lips were murmuring against the warmth. "He wouldn't stop screaming my ears off, even with the gag."
Unable to contain their laughter, they poorly comforted him with a rub on the back while shaking from giggles. "My poor baby, today hasn't been your day, has it?"
Almost like handling an infant, they snuck their arms under his own and half-carried him to the bedroom. Getting in with him and tenderly placing a kiss on his cheek, [y/n] traced out random features on his face with their fingertip, hoping to soothe his body with touch.
"You smell terribly by the way," they said sarcastically in a deep sultry voice. "Do I kick you out to sleep on the couch or are you gonna take a shower? I can smell the blood on you, darling."
Half-asleep already, he slurred a, "Tomorrow...", followed by, "It's not my fault you've got the nose of a dog."
"You aren't any better," [y/n] teased, rolling over on top of him and kissing his sensitive lips with the delicacy of a flower blooming in spring snow.
"Just... let me sleep," he groaned, waving them away like a fly, only to have his hand caught by their own.
"Mnn, fine," murmured the [h/c] haired individual, gazing at him softly with heavy eyelids, as mesmerized with him as always. "Want something fluffy to snuggle into?"
"No, stay the way you are."
With another kiss that lasted a bit longer and in which Jouno participated weakly, [y/n] rolled back and cradled his head, bringing it onto their chest.
"'Night, [y/n]," he managed to say, shifting himself so that he was curled up against their figure. After a brief pause, he shuffled himself again under the covers, resting his head on their body. With their chest steadily rising and falling in sync with their consistent breathing, he found that he slept so much better.
They smiled gently.
"Goodnight, Saigiku."
42 notes · View notes
jeffsfavoriteknife · 11 months
Text
Tws: ur bf cheats on u, petnames, gay shit, implied murder
Male reader x toby
As soon as you found out you ran out of there as fast as you could, you had such a long day at work the last thing you needed was to walk in on your boyfriend fucking another guy, in YOUR bed no less.You didnt even say anything you just ran and took off in the direction of your longtime buddies house, toby. You knew hed be awake so you ran there as fast as you could, tears streaming down your face making it hard to see. You knocked on his door, anxiously waiting to see if hed answer, he opened it with a smile at you that instantly left as soon as he saw your face, hurrying you inside and sitting you on the couch. “What happened i-is everything o-okay?” You cried harder before telling him everything, his face contorting into anger as horrendous thoughts filled his mind as what he could do to your boyfriend for hurting you. Being brought out of his thoughts as he heard you start shit talking yourself and being downright awful. “I should have know this was coming! Now that i think back that guy was way prettier than me, i mean i have piercings n shit yeah but im nothing compared to them! I look like shit compared to them toby!! Ive never been enough for anyon-“ “E-ENOUGH Y/N” his outburst immediately causing you to silence. “L-look okay! This d-dickhole doesnt know what he j-just gave up, your sweet, l-loving, kind and just really c-cute. Fuck if i could h-have made you mine i-“ he stopped, thinking for a moment before looking over at your face, although covered with dried tears you face was beat red at his words. “No, i a-am gonna make you mine” he pulled you into his lap as he pulled you against his chest, targeting your neck and sinking his teeth into it, leaving you moaning and squirming in his hold. The one thing about being tobys friend was that he knew everything about you, everything, even what you liked. He pulled away from your neck smiling at the bright mark he had left, in his mine, that would be the first sign people would know that you were his. He hastily moves his hands to grab your plush sweater and pull it off your torso, immediately attacking your nipple, causing you to arch your back and unintentionally buck your hips against his hard on, this causing him to groan as he released your nipple, moving one of his hands to your mouth and sliding 2 digits in. “Suck” he demanded. You didnt need to be told twice as you began sliding your tongue in between his fingers, coating them with your saliva. He pulled them out and pulled your shorts down, shoving his fingers in your hole, making you body jolt as you moved your hand up to your mouth and bit into it, preventing noise from coming out as you hated hearing your moans, this pissed toby off tho. “Oh? Gonna b-be like that huh? Fine” he yanks his fingers down and shoves your shorts all the way off, yanking down his own sweatpants right after, your eyes widening at the pure size of him. Lining himself up at your hole, he plunged himself deep, bottoming out immediately, causing your back to arch as he started pounding into you, hitting your prostate each time and making your cock twitch in pleasure, you couldnt keep quiet, your moans bouncing off the walls, spurring him to go harder, he moved over to the table a bit to grab his phone and place it in front of you “smile” you did as he asked and heard a shutter sound right after. He chucked his phone back on the table and continued pounding into you, hitting your prostate each time. “Whos my g-good boy?” This had you cumming hard onto his couch as you groaned in pure bliss, you tightening so hard had him cumming into you on the spot, his hand gripping into your hair as he pulled your face up to kiss you hard. Completely spent your body was like jello, he pulled you against his chest with himself still in you as he kissed you hard once more before you passed out in his arms. Needless to say your “boyfriend” would no longer be an issue soon
(Finally executed an idea i had on my mind all day :D)
219 notes · View notes
gayfanservice · 7 months
Note
How Ushijima, Bokuto and Kenma would help comfort a ftm reader on a bad dysphoria day? 🖤 (you can just pick one if you don't want to do all three! 😁)
This took so long im so sorry Pom-nom 😭
Chose Ushijima cuz why not (my iPads about to die and I really want to finish this lol)
TW; Dysphoria, reader over-binds, a little internalized transphobia, sad boy hours
*********
He had been in bed all day; his ribs hurt and there was a hard, uncomfortable felling in his torso, like his organs were being squeezed out of his mouth like toothpaste. It was uncomfortable to breath, but anything is better than getting up, than looking in the mirror, than looking down, if even for a second. (Y/N) couldn’t handle that. School had ended for the week only yesterday, and even than he couldn’t take it off. He knew the consequences would catch up at some point, but who cares? He needed to feel flat. He needed to make sure it was flat. No bumps, no worry. Was it stupid? Only a little. It’s just a body. Who cared about how it looked in the comforts of your own home? Or dorm, in this moment.
(Y/N) couldn’t help it.
——————
Wakatoshi hasn’t seen him all day, not in the cafeteria, not at practice, not even hearing anything from his phone. Satori caught his gaze, “Oh, loverboy! What’s wrong?” He teased, head propped onto his hand as he sat beside Wakatoshi, lips ducked up. Wakatoshi hummed, phone in his left and water bottle in his right.
“It’s nothing, (Y/N) just hasn’t been answering me.” Practice was almost over at this point. Satori took a sneak-peak at Wakatoshi’s phone, seeing a simple ‘Are you OK?’ In his text messages.
“I’m sure (L/N) is fine, but why don’t you check up on him after practice?” Wakatoshi hummed, already planning on it. At least Satori tried.
Practice went by; Wakatoshi was dressed in normal clothing and started to make his way to (Y/N)’s room. He knocked one, then twice, and on the third knock he sent a text. ‘Are you on your room?’ Wakatoshi saw his message was read, having a little debate whether he should just try the knob. He decided he would, knowing it was rude, but his boyfriend wasn’t answering and Wakatoshi was worried. The door was, surprisingly, unlocked.
Inside, Wakatoshi saw (Y/N) cuddled into a blanket cocoon, back towards him. “(Y/N)?” He saw (Y/N) jump.
“Hey, ‘Toshi,” He didn’t turn around; his voice was strained, as if crying for years, and he sniffled every once in awhile.
“You didn’t answer my text, are you okay?” Wakatoshi sat at the side of the bed, shoulders hunched as he laid his elbows on his knees.
(Y/N) felt horrible. He was such a shitty boyfriend. As if.
Shut up.
No, you.
Fuck you.
Never.
He didn’t even respond to his own fucking boyfriend. What a joke, (Y/N) thought. I bet he hates you.
I bet he isn’t even into you.
I bet he isn’t even gay.
“(Y/N)?” Wakatoshi was worried, (Y/N)’s lack of responses gave him creeping anxiety.
“… no.” (Y/N) started shaking, fresh tears coming out and falling down into the soft mattress below him. He couldn’t take it. The feeling of… everything was too much. It hurt. It all hurt. Why? Why did it have to happen to me? Why? “I hate,” (Y/N)’s voice cracked as he sobbed, “everything!” Wakatoshi rubbed (Y/N)’s back; he had no idea what to do, but he tried his best to comfort his boyfriend. He listened to (Y/N) cry, “I don’t like this body, I don’t like this face, I don’t like anything about this!” He sobbed. Anger, sadness, embarrassment, all clouding his mind.
Wakatoshi let him cry, a little awkward but trying his best. “I just… I just wished I was born like you! I wish I was born a real boy!” Wakatoshi never liked it when (Y/N) talked like that, letting the deep, internal thoughts of doubt into the light. It was never fair to him.
Wakatoshi laid beside him, wrapping his arms as best as he could around the sad cocoon, “(Y/N), you are a real boy. Why do you think I like you?”
“But-”
“No, (Y/N). Don’t listen to whatever it if your mind tells you,” Wakatoshi tightened his grip, holding (Y/N) closer, “I like you for who you are and you are a man, okay? You deserve to be happy and if being in a cocoon helps then so be it. I will be with you through it all. I know I’m not… good… at this, and that I don’t completely understand how you feel, but I swear I will always be with you, (Y/N).”
(Y/N) sniffled again, slowly worming his way around until he was facing Wakatoshi, “Thanks, ‘Toshi.” He smiled, cuddling up into him.
“Now, how long have you been wearing your binder?” He was still concerned, not letting his guard down to make sure (Y/N) was comfortable.
“… Awhile,” He answered, shamefully looking away, even though Wakatoshi couldn’t see his face.
“We’ll take it off, then I can go get some snacks, okay?” He smiled, although (Y/N) couldn’t see.
“Okay…” He still felt terrible, but knowing Wakatoshi was with him made everything better.
*********
Pulled all of this outta my ass lol
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Drop the Miku Binder TJ rant bestie
okay so like
i was just thinking about it, and, like, i think it's fucking nuts but also really weird how the hamilton fandom (which i'm in but i swear i'm not an uwu lams turtles shipper please) somehow took this CRUSTY, TERF-BANGED, UGLY, OLD, REDHEADED, RAPIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER,
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and turned his ugly ass into this.
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like damn what the hell- what- how???? okay like yeah, they're using daveed diggs as a base for this bullshit, which, okay, fine, but YOU DID NOT NEED TO ADD THE INFO. The idea itself is funny but also a bit weird, however im 99% sure Diggs himself wore that shirt. However, all of the extra info??? come on. Where'd the fandom get this istg y'all-
Also, also, they did something similar by making John Laurens (gay blonde dumbass) into an UWU turtles boy. ....why. Bi trash coffee gremlin tumblr over-worked sleep-deprived alexander hamilton. like yeah relatable but. why. small bean big sweater uwu innocent boy blushy short james madison. ...why. bro was stubborn and would pick a fight and was the 'fuck you' type of shy.
I just find it wild the fandom made this and it is the entirety of the fandom into one. There's the good sides, there's the bad, and there's this. Which encompasses the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FANDOM.
The fandom has its headcanons, it has its perks, but then you reach the side where everyone is just a wild fucking original character. They don't model the historical figures anymore- they're just OCs with the name 'Philip Hamilton' or 'John Laurens' or god forbid our third U.S president 'Thomas Jefferson' slapped onto it.
I'm also so confused as to how this is what the fandom is known for. We have some good fics, we have hella good art, we have a M U S I C A L , and then the first thought people have of the Ham fandom is Miku Binder Third President Founding Fucker Slaveowner Thomas Jefferson.
I also find it kind of offensive (almost put insluting oh my ufckjg-) that they made a founder become this but like he'd probably be really pissed so please keep fucking up his memory lmao he deserves it
But like... also why. What made them think of this.
Like yeah I write 20k word TR smut but you don't see me drawing it.
You don't see me making him an UWU e-boy.
...Eh I probably would for shits and giggles tbh
But like this is founding father Thomas Jefferson. Third Pres. Second VP. First Sec. of State. And he is a furry, ex-cocaine addict. Also btw do they mean John Laurens or John Adams as the former drug dealer part because neither are better but it'd really help
Also bro literally raped his 14 year old slave and had like 6 kids with her. He had her room DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIS. He RAPED HIS DEAD WIFE'S HALF-SISTER. AND HE'S A SAD UWU MAN WHO DID NOTHING WRONG?
Let's not forget this same person made a post saying Lizzie (the Queen) would be reincarnated as a horse when she died. I'm serious. Deadass.
However, it's also funny as fuck because this entire thing is a tarnish to Jefferson and I fucking HATE that bastard so like good job lol
At the same time though it's still super weird??? But insane??? Because how did this become one of the Tumblr exclusives??? like it's Tumblr history at this point. Twitter history. You cannot express any like for the Hamilton musical before you get the 'have you seen miku binder thomas jefferson' and it's like 'well shit'.
But also remember: THIS IS NOT AN OC TO FUCK AROUND WITH. Hamilton the Musical specifically gave you and presented you the founder. Thomas Jefferson. Played by Daveed Diggs. Just because it is played by a POC, but also modernized, and vastly different from the actual founder and President, does not mean that at its core it is NOT STILL THE SAME PERSON.
If you name it Thomas Jefferson, if you use the presentation of him given by Daveed Diggs, you are still using that white fucking slave-owning racist motherfucker, and that's the point of it all.
I find it stupid but funny but also insane, and I wouldn't care, unless I KNEW IT WAS SERIOUS. The artist made it seriously. They made John Laurens. They made Philip Hamilton. They did this seriously.
but like also look at this lmao
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This meme of Thomas Jefferson in a Hatsune Miku binder really got trending on Twitter at one point
It's an infamous, hellish, classic meme of both Tumblr and the Hamilton fandom, and it deserves what attention it's got, but Jesus please never unironically make shit like this again, Hamilfans, we're stained by this we don't need another😭🔫
EDIT:
i have more
So like, I just remembered: it kinda romanticizes these guys??? The musical??? so like don't get me wrong i love the music but... it puts them into this light. This pink light. It paints Hamilton as an abolitionist who was outspoken about it. When, in reality, dude traded and sold slaves for his in-laws + wasn't all that outspoken about it + was against immigrants or migrants, WHEN DUDE WAS FROM THE ISLANDS. HE HAD SCOTTISH BLOOD. AND HE'S AGAINST IT? Hypocrisy at its finest.
Washington also owned slaves and ran his own plantation too, so he's not off the hook. Madison, the 'uwu small bean' of the fandom, also owned slaves and ran a plantation. So the main people of this entire fiasco are slave-owners. Perfect. But also I've heard Ron Chernow's book on Hamilton, the entire start of the musical, is a bit biased to Ham himself, so...
You could be saying 'but FDRsduckfloaty, Sally is mentioned!' yes. But however, not enough. Not more. It's not even implied more than potentially ONCE what he did, and I'm not sure it ever was! Cabinet battle 3 states it flat-out but it was cut. For your info, Ben Franklin and John Adams are the only two you can really like in the slavery aspect. Ben bought them but let them go for their freedom, and John detested slavery and was against it. Never owned one.
Jefferson did add a slavery clause to the declaration but it was discarded, and he didn't fight half as much as he could have. Maybe he did and since it was the 1700s he didn't have a lot of support, but surely he could've done something like, I don't know, call it out after his terms? Once you're done gaining your second term and out of office, they can't do shit to it or your presidency, since it's over.
So the musical itself has its own problem and the fandom is even worse. It blatantly disregards that a LOT. A hella lot of the amrev fandom + a small part of the ham fandom has called TJeffs out for it but I mean can we please not make shit like Miku Binder Jefferson and act like he wasn't an actual child rapist???
This video does pretty well at it. I will admit the tagline 'America then, told by America now' almost sends shivers down my spine for what it really means. But then again I find men not knowing they'd make it down into the history books for starting the world's global power and the world's economic powerhouse pretty interesting. Doing something big and knowing it's historical, but not that it's going to form a very, VERY large country, where you'll be honored down the road and called a Founding Father of an entire nation? Signing papers and not knowing they're the founding stones of a country and still looked up to today? Intriguing.
But like still fuck Thomas Jefferson lmao
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there's a lot more videos on it that dig deep, but the point is, that Hamilton is a good musical with good songs but it's also very... complex, and a bit problematic, Thomas Jefferson is a little bitch, and you should stan 1776 before you ever stan Hamilton. 1776 does not do this. It is much more realistic. 1776 has Benjamin Franklin and that's an immediate win. Be more like a 1776, be less like a Hamilton.
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aemiron-main · 1 year
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analysis: imo ted wont be by the end of the show + also mike’s sexuality is tied into the meta/overarching narrative and metaphors in st.
this is not a full ted wheeler analysis nor a full gay mike analysis nor a full st narrative analysis (all of which im going to do at some point), however, it is an analysis as to why s4 made up my mind about whether or not ted would be homophobic in the end + why gay mike specifically is intertwined into the ST narrative as a matter of analysis rather than headcanon. SO! Again, this isn’t a full analysis, but here’s part of why I believe that Mike was written as a gay man + it’s tied into the overall narrative of ST.  Mike saying “that’s just bullshit media propaganda,” in early s4, and then in the last episode, Ted is watching the news when it’s talking about hellfire club being a cult and opening a gate to hell, and goes
“are you hearing this?”
and then Karen says “just what we need, more hysteria,” and Ted goes “that’s the news for you. Indistinguishable from the tabloids.”
We know that in Mike’s scene, the guy he was talking to said that dnd/hellfire club was satanic or whatever, just like how in ted’s scene, the news is talking about how hellfire club is a satanic cult. And we know that in Mike’s scene, in addition to the other obvious gayness when he’s running around looking for people (the wrestling team?? REALLY, Michael??), there’s a very obviously placed cutout of the word “women,” beside Mike’s head when he looks disgruntled/starts talking about “bullshit media propaganda,” which to me, shows that there’s a double meaning (ie the bullshit homophobic media propaganda that was going around at the time esp w the aids crisis). So, “women” and “bullshit media propaganda” being put together in the same scene alongside Mike’s upset/disgruntled reaction seems to demonstrate that to Mike, women and bullshit media propaganda are connected (ie not that Mike hates women, but that it’s literally bullshit propaganda (and need I remind you of the word bullshit and its use in ST specifically towards failing relationships where one person is not in love with the other?), that people are telling him he’s supposed to like women romantically, that the news is saying it, etc) Just like Jonathan’s convo with Will about “you shouldn’t like things because people tell you to.”
And so, with the whole “aids is god’s will,” rhetoric that was going around in the 80s + how that scene is subtly not just Mike speaking out against the media propaganda regarding hellfire, but also narratively it’s regarding being gay + aids, vs the “hellfire club is satanic/against god” and how the two are linked and how hellfire club works as a metaphor for queerness + being outcast + the satanic panic vs the aids panic, then it also stands to reason that if Ted’s reaction towards the media propaganda about hellfire is the same as Mike’s then ted’s reaction to the propaganda about lgbtq people and the aids crisis will also be the same as Mike’s because the two topics are meant to parallel eachother and be linked.
Long story short: Ted might not be the best dad. He should’ve been there for Mike and Nancy more, should’ve been more emotionally open. But he’s not homophobic. He doesn’t hate his kids. 
Ted’s arc isn’t about being hateful- it’s about being ignorant. It’s about ignorance and how that can also play a huge role in the rise of hate and misinformation. Ted is not the one putting out the media propaganda, giving speeches like Jason- Ted is the one listening quietly, or simply following along, the one not challenging people like Jason. Ted is a living representation of the bystander effect. Ted throughout the seasons, is blinded by the media propaganda. 
But over time, in s4, we see that start to change. He’s no longer blinded by the propaganda. He’s starting to question it. Starting to question the government (asking why nobody from the government’s intervening about the murders), whereas previously, we see him blindly following the government when Brenner and co show up at the Wheeler house. He makes his comment about the news being like the tabloids. He’s no longer following along, no longer just staring at the tv silently like he has every other season, but instead, he’s watching. He’s listening, now. He’s responding. He’s questioning. 
I’m always open to discussion, but imo, Ted Wheeler is not homophobic, not in the end, at least. And his arc is not about hate, it’s not about active loathing and aggression the way that Lonnie’s is and his dynamic with Will- it’s about ignorance. Ted Wheeler is ignorant, he ignores Mike. For better or for worse, he is the epitome of ignorance. But he’s getting over that ignorance, and beginning to see through the media propaganda that’s been put out about hellfire/about queer people/the aids crisis.  And Ted is a reagan supporter- of course he’s aware of the media propaganda going around about the aids crisis, and likely believed much of it, believed a lot of that homophobia, not out of active hatred, but out of a lack of questioning- homophobic not out of direct action, but out of inaction, out of complacency. 
If Will is a representation of lgbtq people who are actively targeted for their sexuality and hated by their parents (Lonnie in this case), whose parents see right through them and hate them for it, then Mike is a representation of lgbtq people who fall through the cracks, who are invisible, whose parents can’t see them no matter how much they want their parents to see and understand. Mike, like when he fell off the cliff and disappeared (which is PARALLELED to hopper saying that Will fell off of a cliff and implied that it was a hate crime/that his disappearance was a hate crime), is gone, he disappears, he’s not actively targeted, he’s invisible. Which isn’t any better than being viable in the way that Will is, because it means that people can’t help him. At least Will has people in his life who recognize that he’s different and love him for it (joyce and Jonathan), despite the hatred that this openness/outward queerness brings, it also brings love. But with Mike, people don’t recognize that he’s different. They don’t love him or hate him for it- they don’t seem him at all. And that would explain Mike’s fixation with superheroes, and special people with powers, but also his desire to send normal. Deep down, Mike wants to be different. Wants to be seen. Wants to be able to be himself, wants to enjoy dnd (which is a representation of his relationship with Will). But he also knows how dangerous it is. He knows now, that being associated with Hellfire/dnd is dangerous. He knows that being different is dangerous, because look at everything that’s happened to Will for being different, and look at everything that’s happened to El for being different/being a superhero. 
DND was also literally used as a metaphor for mike and will’s relationship, and also for mike being himself (ie, mike not being himself in s3 + his and will’s relationship starting to falter.  DND is representative of queer relationships in that regard. It was never just about the hellfire club or satanic panic related to DND. Past that level, it’s about queerness and otherness and being different, and the hateful panic of the aids crisis.
If Will is gay men who die by hate crimes, then Mike is gay men who die by suicide. If Will is gay men who are almost too visible (not by any fault of their own), whose families/the people around them have sensed their queerness from a young age, then Mike is gay men who are invisible, who receive no hate from their families, but also no support. If Will is gay men who are tormented in their own home, or forcibly taken from their own home (his vanishing/kidnapping), then Mike is gay men who run away from home, or who disappear via suicide. (see: smalltown boy, finn talking about who’s going to leave hawkins and then also quarry scene). If Will is a gay man who, as joyce said, gets picked and called queer for his clothes, then Mike is a gay man whose clothing choices are never noticed at all, even if theyre ‘as gay’ as will’s. (not that clothes are gay LMAO but that there’s specific things mentioned in the script that the bullies would pick out about will’s clothes, things like them being colourful, but imo, mike’s character, even if dressed the same way, or even MORE colourful, esp since will really isn’t that colourful, would go unnoticed by the bullies, but also generally unnoticed by everyone, because he’s about invisibility and the harm that it can cause).  It’s like how sometimes in ST, the characters need to run, need to hide, need to be invisible- like how Will standing his ground against the mindflayer ended up getting him posssesed.   Will is good at hiding because he IS so visible, he has to hide because people seem to see right through him.  Mike is not good at hiding. He’s not good at acting ‘normal.' He fails at it in s4 (see: airport scene).  Because Mike is invisible. He’s never learned how to hide because people have never really seen him before. He’s never had to hide in the same way that Will has, he’s never had to run in the same way that Will has (see: will running from the demogorgon but being able to use a gun in s1 vs mike standing his ground but grabbing the ineffective candlestick), he’s never been visible, so he’s never needed to hide, so, he’s not very good at it. He’s not good at acting normal. Will is. Will is good at acting normal (not that he IS normal, just better at ACTING normal, like the airport scene?? mike was way more gay and awkward and obviously in love tm).  This is also part of why Will gets so upset about people treating him differently/as if he’s a freak, whereas mike seems to WANT to be different deep down, seems to IDOLIZE people like superheroes, who are different. Will doesn’t want people to treat him differently because he HAS been treated differently his whole life, because he’s too visible, so he’s had to learn to hide and act ‘normal.’ Mike, on the other hand, wants to be treated differently because he’s been invisible his whole life, and so he never had to learn to hide or act normal, even though  he eventually has to TRY and do so, he never learned how, because he never had to. Because whereas Lonnie would pick up on any hint of oddity about Will, Ted would simply ignore things as strange as mike keeping a girl with telekinetic powers in the basement. Will was so visible that he couldn’t even breathe the wrong way lest lonnie notice, and was always actively pursued by things like the mindflayer and demogorgon and henry. Mike was so invisible that he could be screaming “i have a girl in the basement!!!” and ted would barely notice.  Mike and Will are two sides of the same coin. IMO, Mike was written as a gay man, and it is intertwined into the overarching narrative + meta of stranger things, and this is just one example among many. (like how ‘it’s not my fault that you don’t like girls’ only makes sense if mike is projecting and therefore doesn’t like girls, which means that there’s yet another reference not JUST to mike being attracted to men, which could indicate him being bi, but SPECIFICALLY to his lack of attraction to girls.)  Again- ZERO hate to anyone with other thoughts, and this isn’t meant to spark an argument. But imo, there’s elements of the narratives and metaphors in ST that only click into place if Mike is gay.  It’s not that bi or unlabelled people are less queer, or less targeted, or that they would have been less at risk at the time. Not at all. But rather, it’s the fact that ST has have chosen to intertwine gay mike as a part of demonstrating the link between hellfire club/satanic panic vs sexuality and the aids crisis. This metaphor could still totally work if Mike was bi- but the evidence for it, things like the word “women” being behind him while he’s talking about “bullshit media propaganda,” using the phrase “bullshit” specifically, one that’s been used for heteronormative relationships/relationships where one part isn’t attracted to the other anymoree (see: stancy), and therefore tying that word to the word “women,” demonstrates that Mike being a gay man/not attracted to women is part of what builds that connection between hellfire satanic panic vs queerness and the aids crisis/homophobia.  That scene with mike is not the RESULT of the existing metaphorical link between the hellfire club and satanic panic vs queerness and the aids crisis- it is part of what BUILDS that link, and they chose to build that link in a way that demonstrates Mike not having attraction to women (and again, this is just one scene, not a full gay mike analysis by any stretch). They could have built it other ways! They totally could have built that link in ways that demonstrate bi mike, and the narrative and metaphor would totally still work- they could’ve had mike looking happy with the word ‘men,’ behind him. But they didn’t do that.  Instead, they specifically chose to specify that Mike lacks attraction towards women, and that his relationships with women (el) are the result of heternormativity and propaganda. Rather than just reinforcing that Mike also likes men, instead of having the word ‘men,’ back there and showing mike looking happy, or looking happy in front of the words women and men, or looking equally UPSET in front of both, they chose, instead, to demonstrate a lack of attraction towards women, and directly parallel the word ‘women’ to a phrase (bullshit) that indicates a lack of attraction + also indicates a relationship that was informed by heternormative standards and stereotypes (early stancy).  So it’s not that bi people aren’t valid, or weren’t affected by the aids crisis, because that’s not what i’m saying- it’s that the show chose to build a link between mike’s lack of attraction to women, heteronormative standards/propaganda AND the overarching narrative about the aids crisis vs the satanic panic/hellfire vs queerness.  Barb is also tied to the aids crisis/homophobic panic, like i discussed in my yellow ribbon post. IMO Barb’s death, metaphorically, rather than being the result of aids, is the result of the sort of bigotry and rejection and self-loathing that came as a result of the media propaganda and homophobia during the aids crisis.  And if we disregard the use of the word ‘bullshit’ and its connotations in the show, if we disregard the word ‘women’ behind mike in that scene, and dismiss it as “just a writing choice/random word choice/coincidence,” or “just a set design choice/random/coincidence,” then there is a LOT of other things that we have to disregard on the show as well (ie, the word ‘crazy’ and it being a stand-in for love), or things like all of the intricate yellow blue set design colour coding.  A lot of the byler evidence disappears if we ignore things like this + dismiss them, so why should we dismiss them when it comes to sexuality and the ST narrative? The word “women” didn’t just leap onto the set wall. Finn didn’t just choose to stand right in front of it and say “bullshit” and talk about media propaganda in relation to a topic (hellfire club and the satanic panic) that is very clearly a stand-in for the aids crisis and homophobia because he was in a silly goofy mood. The sets don’t come pre-decorated randomly.  The actors dont just close their eyes and choose where to stand, the directors don’t just let them do whatever, the editors don’t just trim a few clips and call it a day, cinematographers don’t just decide to set up a shot for shits and giggles, ESPECIALLY not in a show like stranger things where time and time again, the intricacy of the set design, the direction, the writing, the cinematography, of EVERYTHING, has been demonstrated time and time again. If we ignore things like this and write them off as coincidence, then we ignore the panda drawing on el’s desk in s3 that foreshadowed Robin using the chinese restuarant “international panda” to crack the code. We ignore things like the fact that there’s always SOME representation of Will between mike and el every single time that they kiss, like i mentioned in this post (link), then we ignore tons and tons of other, clearly relevant details in the show, details that prove things like byler endgame. 
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fuutaprotectionsquad · 2 months
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Yknow I feel like I should have a main post where I share my Milgram opinions/verdicts (thought of this bc i was writing my sister's opinion on the milgram characters). So I'll go character by character.
Will anyone read this? I don't know but its here
Haruka: I relate to him a bit (shitty mother, intrusive homicidal thoughts, neurodivergence). I def feel bad for him but hes still really guilty in my mind. I just think the whole killing for attention thing is a really dangerous mindset you can't just get out of, especially if you're being told you're not in the wrong. And it definitely seems like he doesn't actually feel bad for the girl he killed, just feels bad because people are mad at him for it. Idk. But I enjoy his dynamic with Muu a lot, even tho its toxic i just think its really interesting. But I wish him the best and he deserves a hug. His songs are mid tho (/hj i like them)
Yuno: I love her personality and I think shes so fun, but I honestly don't think about her a lot compared to the others. But I love her and specifically enjoy her dynamics with (obv mostly in fan content) Kazui, Mahiru and Fuuta. Her and Fuuta are such a good platonic ship (romantic is fun too). Innocent vote, obv. I like her songs, but Tear Drop moreso than Umbilical.
Fuuta: Oh my god I wonder what I think of him. In all seriousness he's a major hyperfixation of mine at like every given moment. I adore him and i think he deserves better and to be innocent. Like he feels so guilty for what he did and he didn't know any better, everyone around him was encouraging his behavior and praising him for it. But then it got too far and all his friends abandoned him and blamed him like. Poor fuuta :( and he's like 100% right when he says him and es are exactly the same. On another note, major fan of 0309 (romantically, but either way works), and also love his dynamic with Haruka, Yuno, Mahiru, Amane and Es. His songs are both in my top three (backdraft being #1)
Muu: Tied for my fav character(? Fuuta might beat her idk) I love her personality and vibe and everything just ❤️❤️ queen shit. And her queen bee design is gorgeous. Typically my favs are men but shes one of the first women ive hyperfixated on this much. Again, love her dynamic with Haruka, not from a like. healthy relationships could make the characters better standpoint, but from a story perspective its interesting. But yeah guilty. As for her songs, INMF is my #2 and i like After Pain
Shidou: Honestly I used to be kinda indifferent about him and just found him to be boring but then I rewatched his voice dramas and read some fics and I like him more now. I feel really bad for him bc he went through a really shitty situation which he felt he had the power to change and was stuck in a shitty moral dilemma bc of it. And in the end he did shitty things to save those he loved and it didn't even matter. He feels so guilty and doesn't deserve it. Innocent <3. Also romantic 0507 ftw (0506 is cool too). Him and Amane are silly too. As for his songs i like them, but they're not my fav
Mahiru: i like her, but im not too like. invested in her ig. But i feel bad for her :( she just wants to feel love and like. clearly she did something wrong but she didn't know she was. She never intended to hurt anyone. So innocent. Unless we find out she like. did something really fucking bad then maybe guilty. But in I Love You it implies it was a mutual toxicity so it probably wasn't something super terrible? But anyway. I love her with like all the characters cuz shes just so fun to see interact w others, but specifically with Yuno, Fuuta, Shidou, Amane and Mikoto.
Kazui: Hes so fun i love him. Like all he wants is to be honest and be himself but he feels pressured to lie and then finally he tells the truth and his wife fucking kills herself like- jeez- poor guy. Like following the gay theory, i get why she mightve done it (imagine being told the romance you built your entire life around for like 20 years was all a lie, and that your husband never actually loved you and just pretended to and every time you kissed or something he was just pretending like. that sucks poor hinako) but its so awful that he had to go thru that. But anyway innocent, kazui come out we accept you. And stan 0507. Song wise cat is easily #4 but. half is ok ig
Amane: Yknow i love amane but I also hate her and i think part of that might be the fandom? idk. I feel sorry for her bc she grew up in such a shitty situation but also i think shes beyond the point where we can uninstill those ideologies. Like shes 12, not 5. And amane says it herself that she has as much of a free will as everyone else and that her decision to kill/stay in this environment should be valued. Not that i think she should remain in this abusive situation, but she's not just some innocent kid whose being manipulated, she knows what she's doing. Hence, guilty. I don't think either vote will change her or anything so im voting with my honest opinion. As for dynamics, i love seeing her interact with all the other prisoners, but especially Shidou and Fuuta.
Mikoto: I love mikoto a lot but im so on the fence about his verdict. Ive been voting him innocent but theres still a part of me thats like. debating it. Bc he shouldn't have to be punished for John's actions, and it sucks that that's the situation hes in, but its that or more murders are left to occur. The main reason i say innocent is under the idea that John could go dormant or just stop fronting as much if we reduce mikoto's stress (like he says will happen i think). But hes so complex and fun i love mikoto. Specifically i love romantic 0309 but also his dynamic w the smoking group and mahiru. Also i love his songs.
Kotoko: I love her but also fuck her for hurting fuuta (and mahiru too but mainly fuuta). She annoys me bc she was so quick to almost murder several people based on a preliminary verdict that was made using little information. Like she knew this wasn't a concrete verdict, but attacked them anyway. I get her ideology of "kill people who evade justice to protect the weak" but only when they've actually done bad things (ie. the guy kidnapping the little girl). But when she doesn't know what they did and knows the person accusing them doesn't either???? Like bruh. But i like her character shes fun. I like seeing how she interacts with es and everyone she attacked. And songs, harrow is okay and i really like deep cover.
Whew im done.
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